Madripoor High (Part 5)
A/N: I'm actually enjoying writing this so FUCKING MUCH.
Warnings: Adult content, just to be safe.
Noisy. Loud. God. The bed felt nice. You opened your eyes, submitting yourself to a torturous light of day. Shit. You stretched out, feeling a slight ping of pain on your neck. You frowned, your hand slowly meeting the skin. Shit.
You rose to your feet, obviously you were alone. You walked to the bathroom looking at your neck in the mirror. Tiny bruises. It was ok. Nothing blue or bad. They looked more like hickeys. You sighed. Could be covered by make up.
You slightly jumped. Shit.
"Coming!" You called, fuck… your voice was hoarse.
You grabbed the robe, putting it on, making sure the collar fit around your neck. Taking a last glance in the mirror you stopped out, smiling up at Soap.
"You up already?" He smiled.
"Well y'all are making an awful lot of noise." You teased.
"Sorry about that. Price is making a little briefing, they're leaving early, What happened to your voice?" he said.
"Oh… screaming yesterday and I probably caught a cold with Valeria's poor choice of clothing."
"Come on!" He said, nodding his way towards the living room.
Shit. You sighed but followed anyone. You walked into view. Eyes glancing around the room as everyone sat or stood around the small coffee table. You glanced at the lieutenant, his eyes barely gazing at you for a second before looking away. Welp. This was going to be awkward.
"You cold?" Valeria asked.
"Yes." You said.
She squinted her eyes, tilting her head with a nasty smirk. You simply rolled your eyes. You sat down near Soap while you listened to Price. You weren't exactly paying attention. You wanted to go back to bed. You mostly got that everyone was going back to base, that they were haunting down some higher ups and that it was your task to find out who 'snake' was and their link to Echo. You nodded.
"You'll be driving back with Soap, Tracker." Price said, smiling at you.
"Oh, I lost my babysitter?" You teased looking at Soap.
"Sad that I'm your new babysitter?" He teased back.
"Absolutely not. You and I are going to have so much fun…" you answered with a mischievous tone and smile. He visibly swallowed.
"Oh can I be babysat too?" Valeria asked.
"You already got a babysitter!" You mocked, leaning back on the couch, throwing your head back to look at her.
"Oh… what's that on your neck?" She teased.
Your blood ran cold as you straightened yourself.
"Are those hickeys?" She teased again, stepping closer to the couch.
"Nope. Bruises." If you said the truth. She'd take it as you masking 'her truth' which, you knew, was the only truth to her.
"You fucking with me! Those are hickeys!" She teased as you stood under the curious gaze of the team. "Is it the lieutenant?!" She yelled as you walked back into the room.
"Absolutely, fucked all night!" You answered sarcastically at her before disappearing out of view.
"Come on! Tell me the truth!" She scolded.
You took a deep breath. Shit. SHIT. You shook your, deciding to immediately head to the shower, get dressed and hide those marks. Your stomach grumbled. Also you were hungry.
Forty five minutes later, you walked out of the elevator, walking to a conference room you had requested so everyone would eat together, away from civilians. Soap was happily walking next to you. You didn't mind spending time with him. His usual cheery self made you relax and actually enjoy the time you spent on this mission. He opened the door for you as you faked a reverence to him before you both walked in. Price asked you to sit next to him as he sat at one hand of the table, the lieutenant on his other side, in front of you.
You sat down, Soap walking to the rest of the team to indulge himself in chatter and jokes. You smiled at them before serving yourself some tea and some little things to munch on.
"The marks are gone." You heard.
You rolled your eyes.
"Surprising, isn't it?" You answered sarcastically.
Price remained silent, a little smile on his face. He knew. Of course he did. You sighed, looking at Simon.
"I'm completely fine." You said, honestly.
He looked away, rolling his shoulders uncomfortably.
"Are you sur-" price started.
"I am. Fine." You said again. He sighed.
You and Simon turned back to your plates. Price, him, decided to simply stare at the both of you, pressuring you to say something. You pretend to ignore him. Simon doing the same thing.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked. You faked confusion.
"Nothing happened." You answered, looking up at him before turning to Simon. He looked at you, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Lieutenant ?" Price asked.
"Nothing happened Sir." He repeated.
Price sighed, dropping the subject. He simply nodded, turning to his breakfast. You tried to do the same, sometimes sharing glances with Simon, without ever saying a word.
Breakfast passed by in a flash. You found yourself in a car, Soap on the driver's seat as the rest of the team stood outside, their own cars parked next to you. There was a little chatting. Valeria trying to convince Alejandro to let her drive with you and Soap.
"No." He said.
"Cabron." She spat.
You chuckled, sharing an amused glance with Soap. Twenty minutes later, everyone had hopped into a car, driving back to the base, two hours away. Driving with Soap was much calmer, life threateningly speaking, because unlike the Lieutenant, he loved to talk or sing. It made you smile, unfortunately, your mind replayed again and again last night's events.
"Hey, you good?" He asked, making you snap out of your thoughts.
"Hm? Yeah. Just… annoyed. This is quite a stressful contract." It wasn't entirely false, but it wasn't the current truth.
"Are you scared to fail?" He asked.
"No." You chuckled. "I'll find Echo. No one can hide eternally. Just… been heavy on me. I've been accumulating contracts without breaks recently." You said, now fully spilling your truth. He seemed to think for a minute before turning to you as he stopped at a red light.
"How about… we don't go to base immediately?" He proposed.
"What?" You frowned, smirking.
"Yeah. Let's go do something you want first." He said again.
"You want to go with me, do something?" You asked, raising your eyebrows as he started driving again. "Aren't you my babysitter?"
"Come on… we're in this together. I trust you. Believe it or not. You don't need a babysitter, you are my frien-... colleague" he said with a smile.
You felt a ping in your heart. This had been happening quite often with this team, something unusual to your usual contracts. Friends. The thought of being friends with Soap, Gaz, Alejandro… Simon. It made you… happy.
"Thank you…" you said. "I'd be… honored, to be counted as your friend." You answered honestly. His smile grew wider.
"Come on! Let's go do something!" He pressed.
"Fine!" You chuckled. "Let's go shopping together. We'll get snacks and I'll buy some gifts?" You inquired.
"Oh, you want to be a sugar Mommy?" He teased.
"Well, I can literally afford to be anyone. And, I'm sure you want to be my Good boy…" you teased back.
"Ooohhhh" he answered back, as you laughed. "I'm totally going to accept that. I have a rich friend now."
"Are you using me for my money?" You teased.
"No!" He almost looked offended. "Please don't think that." He said, throwing glances at you.
You smiled. "I believe you don't worry. I like to buy things for my friends. One of my love languages is offering gifts." You answered. He seemed relieved.
"Shopping then?" He asked.
Two hours. The time that was supposed to be spent driving back to base, was spent walking around the mall. Clothes, electronics, coffees and snacks. You had spent the time laughing and joking, Soap actually enjoying trying out things and giving you a show, giving you his opinion on things you wanted to buy. He actually felt bad when he saw you buy a new laptop for him, eyes widening and stuttering. You had reassured him that your Black card could easily take it and that it would make you, so, so happy to treat him.
He almost had tears in his eyes and it warmed your heart to see him so happy. You had enjoyed every second of it, walking back to his car, arms full of bags, little treats for the rest of the team and a bubble tea for each of you. He dropped the bags in the trunks as his phone rang. His face dropped as you stood by, listening. The voice on the other end of the line was loud enough for you to hear the lieutenant loudly asking him 'where the fuck he was'. You sighed, crossing your arms.
Soap apologized, saying you'd be there as soon as possible. What made you frown was the next information. The general was angry at him. Sanctions, rank… you frowned.
"What's this general's name?" You asked Soap.
"Hum… Y/N is asking for… the general's name…" Soap said to the phone. "General Richard Hopkins…"
You smiled nodding at him. Soap hung up, sighing.
"I'm sorry…" you told him.
"Nah. This ain't your fault. I offered, remember?" He said with a soft smile. He pat your head before you both sat in the car, heading to base.
An hour into the drive back, Soap stopped to put some gas. You had happily spent your anger towards anyone hurting your new friend into searching all about Hopkins. You knew everything, up to his latest dentist's appointment to his family members social security numbers. You walked out of his car, waiting for him to put gas before he walked inside to pay. You stood, leaning against his car before you dialed the number on your screen. It rang, once, twice before someone picked up.
"...hello?" The voice asked unsure.
"General Hopkins!" You greeted cheerfully.
"Who's this? How did you get my personal number?"
"Oh, my bad. My name is Tracker." You introduced yourself.
"Of course. I shouldn't be surprised. This is what happens when you trade with a terrorist."
"Ohhh terrorist? That's a bit much." You answered offended.
"You are having fun, making trouble for my Sergeants?" He spat.
"That is exactly what I'm calling you for. I had a little shopping need and your sergeant was a sweetheart and helped me. Therefore I do not accept any sanction towards him." You said, earning a dark chuckle from the man.
"You do not get a say in this." He answered proudly. You took a deep breath.
"Who's Charlotte?" You asked, the line falling deeply empty. "Why are you sending her dick pics while your wife is in another conversation sending you your son's first steps?" You kept asking.
"Isn't there a moral clause in the military? Can't you lose your rank? You'll obviously lose your wife and kids but, losing your rank? The whole base's respect? Also, you're way too old to be acting like a teenage boy in rut." You asked, feeling that familiar feeling of power and giddiness from shutting up men who thought they could control everything.
"You had that information illegally."
"Of course I did. I do not agree that I'm a terrorist but damn am I a criminal. And a good one at that. An anonymous email with enough proof will do." You chuckled. You watched as Soap stepped out of the gas station. "The Sergeant will have no sanction. He will arrive on base and you will thank him for being such an amazing team player and making me feel comfortable with the team." You said, watching Soap start walking towards you.
"Do you think I'm going to let you threaten me?!"
"No. But I think you know that I'll have no problem ruining your fucking life. That whatever you try, whatever you'll think of, you already know, I will ruin your family, your career, your reputation. In a blink of an eye." You finally said. Soap was getting to close for comfort for you to remain on the phone for this conversation. "I'll see you later. Richard."
You hung up, Soap sending you a questioning gaze. Hopefully he didn't hear anything. You smiled before asking him if you could go. He agreed before you hopped back in the car.
The last hour, you could see, even through Soap's facade, the anxiety peaking. You smiled at him, trying to reassure him. Unfortunately, when you entered the base and when he finally reached the parking of the barracks, he flinched at the sight of Price and Ghost standing, waiting, arms crossed.
"Shit." Soap cursed.
"Breathe. You're fine." You said, not an ounce of doubt in your voice.
You both stepped out, slowly walking to the two men.
"Sergeant." Price started. "Could you explain?"
"I wanted to go shopping." You answered before the Mohawk boy could. "He kindly agreed to take me. Such an amazing man." You said with a smile.
"Do you understand how much trouble he is in?" Ghost hissed. "He had orders-"
"Taking back the mean criminal terrorist to base?!" You snapped. "Were you worried I'd run off with your little sergeant? Or was it that you wanted to be the one to handcuff me?!" You spat.
"Please, both of you, lower your voices." Price said, glancing behind Ghost.
You turned to see a man, highly decorated, walking to your small group.
"Gentleman." He greeted.
You recognized the voice. You didn't need to hear the three men greet their general.
"Sergeant McTavish." He started.
"General-" Soap tried.
"Thank you for helping Tracker with her errands. It's nice to see a good team player." Hopkins said, hiding extremely well his anger and rage.
The rest of the group looked taken aback but Soap thanked his general. Hopkins turned to you nodding your way before bidding his goodbye. You stared at him all the while he walked away, before you, yourself started turning towards the car to go grab your bags.
"Y/N-" Price started.
"Do not, EVER think, I'd get him into trouble!" You spat towards Simon. He hadn't spoken. But you were angry at him. Was it truly because of the last five minutes? Or the fact that he didn't talk to you. That he was avoiding you. Was it... affecting you?
"I know that you have a poor opinion of me, but don't you dare think so low of me." You finished, throwing him a last glare before turning towards the car.
You had retracted to your room. You took your bags, giving Soap his own and the ones with little treats for everyone. You laid on your bed, feeling exhausted. You felt… weird. Many things were running through your mind. You were frustrated. A soft knock on your door made you close your eyes, taking a deep breath before you let out a little 'come in' while sitting back up and jumping to your feet.
Soap's head peeked through a gap in the doorway. You smiled kindly at him as he entered, closing the door behind him.
"Yes darling?" You asked affectionately.
"Thank you. You didn't have to. I'm used to trouble" he chuckled, going straight to the point.
"I don't doubt it." You chuckled as well. "But this is different. Unlike you, pretty much everyone thinks of me as an enemy. I am a momentarily weapon to get to a goal. As soon as they're done using me, I'm just another threat to take down." You explained.
"Y/N…" he tried.
"It's ok. I don't expect any less. But for you it's different. They don't want you befriending me." The reality hit you, sadness slightly tainting your brain. "You are a great soldier, in an amazing, irreplaceable team. But they can't afford to have you tainted with my… evilness." You tried with a fake smile. "They will sanction you. Perhaps heavily even, to make you an example for anyone else." You finished softly.
Soap didn't say anything. Seconds after, he rushed to you, taking you in his arms. You were a bit in shock, but you hugged him back, your head on his shoulder, looking at the wall.
"You don't do things by the rules… and neither do we to be honest. But… you are a good person." He said. You huffed a laugh. "You are." He added.
"Thank you Soap." You whispered.
"Johnny." He clarified, separating.
"Johnny?" You asked confused.
"Yeah, LT calls me that, usually i don't let anyone else call me like that but you are worthy!" He chimed happily.
You chuckled, rolling your eyes.
"Alright. Thanks Johnny. I will however refrain from calling you that in front of your LT. I'd like to avoid fighting with him again." You finished in a grumble.
"Ah don't worry. He likes ya!" Soap beamed.
"I think I'm going to press 'X' to doubt." You joked.
"What..?" He asked, confused.
"A gaming reference. Don't worry." You winked, earning another wide smile from the Scot.
"Would you like some dinner?" He asked.
"Ah not yet. I'm not hungry but I'll get a snack at some point." You answered with a reassuring smile.
He sighed, but nodded, dropping a kiss on top of your head before exiting your room. You wanted to be alone right now. Perhaps you could even start on your search for this 'snake'. You groaned to yourself before sitting down at your small desk, opening your laptop. That might be exactly what you need to get your mind off of a certain Lieutenant.
You stretched on the very uncomfortable chair you sat on. You were missing your perfect gaming chair in the perfect office you had in your perfect penthouse you owned in Madripoor. You blinked the blurriness caused by the tiredness, taking in the time written on the right corner of the laptop. One in the morning. One fifteen to be exact. Your stomach growled slightly. It was time for that snack. You stood, walking up to the door, very slowly opening it. You glanced out, making sure no one was up. If they were, they were in their rooms and you couldn't see them.
You slipped out of your room, tip-toeing your way to the common kitchen. You decided to turn on as little light as possible. You almost jumped on your way to the fridge, staring inside for something to munch on. Now started the dilemma everyone is familiar with, the usual I'm fucking hungry but nothing in this fridge helps my hunger. You decided on a few avocado toast after seeing it in the corner, feeling lonely and probably dying.
It felt amazing to finally get something in your stomach, you happily danced around until your eyes fell upon something. Like a little dragon attracted by shiny things, you hopped to it. You sat at the counter, dusting off your hands before grabbing the very familiar black combat knife. You took it out of his holster, eying it with fascination. The black blade, the black handle, fit perfectly together. It was stunning. The perfect killing weapon to your eyes.
You let your fingers caress the blade, a soft smile on your lips, reaching the tip where you applied pressure with your index finger. It prickled your fingertip almost instantly, the sharpness needing no actual pressure to break the skin. You bit your lip frowning. You softly put the knife back in his holster, putting it back in his original place. You brought your finger tip to your lips, licking the tiny drop of blood before sinking it into your mouth.
Without actually paying attention you turned to the doorway, falling eye to eye with a mask skull. You didn't jump but a cold shiver ran through you. You dropped the finger from your mouth under his very attentive gaze. He stood, watching you, leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, making his strong arms flex. You swallowed before taking a deep breath. There was nothing to be scared or even embarrassed about. You turned back to the counter, grabbing the rest of your toast before turning to him.
"I didn't steal anything." You simply said.
"You knew it was sharp, why did you put your fingers on the blade?" He scolded.
You stopped your chewing. He had been standing there the whole time?! You resumed your chewing before looking up at them.
"Why do you care? Again, I didn't steal anything. Your precious knife is still here." You said. "Now if you'll excuse me." You finished walking past him to dart to your room.
You closed the door rather quickly, feeling like the small room was the only 'safe space' for you in this whole base. You closed your eyes leaning against the door. You stiffened, listening to footsteps behind the door. They stopped in front of your door. You tensed, breath hitching, and heartbeat quickening. For some reason you tried to keep your breathing steady. It was him. Behind your door. You heard the soft caress of a gloved hand against the wood.
As quick as he came, he went, leaving you alone with your heartbeat ringing in your ears. You simply hissed under your breath.
The next few days were calm. You and the lieutenant avoided each other but seemed to always find each other's gaze once in the same room. It frustrated you. You were definitely not about to go to him. It didn't matter anyway, right? Right…? You couldn't repeat yourself again and again, somehow this frustration wouldn't go away. You were glad for Soap however, his good mood and jokes always taking your mind off of it for a little while. You had started to see him as a little brother, scolding yourself mentally because you knew that as soon as this mission would be done. You'd leave.
He had accepted to walk you to the showers at night, standing guard for you. You were glad you could avoid asking Simon. The… hum… lieutenant.
However, tonight, Soap had field training with the recruits and wouldn't be back before a good 48h. You decided to wait for the latest hours, around 2 in the morning to slip out of the dorms to the showers. The base was asleep, apart from the round duties. Surely, you could shower in peace.
The barely warm shower felt good on your skin, it seemed to calm your nerves. You had been working non-stop since you were back from the hotel. You had found tiny traces of 'snake', that person seemingly less careful than Echo. You started to wonder if this wasn't the same person.
You groaned, frowning under the water. You needed to clear your mind. Relax. This was no time to think about work. You tried to focus on the way the soap felt on your body as you scrubbed yourself. Or the way the water fell upon your skin. Not about work. Not about the Lieutenant. Not about the way you felt watched-
You snapped your eyes open, turning around towards the entrance of the shower, eyes falling upon a man. You stiffened, hiding your body.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" You screamed.
The poor boy scurried away as fast as he could, almost slipping on the way. You rushed out of the shower grabbing a towel to wrap around your body. You walked as fast as you could to the door. You froze on the spot however. Furious eyes gazed upon you, hands holding tightly the boy by the collar.
"Step back inside." He ordered.
For some reason. You didn't discuss it. You watched him walk inside with you, the boy still held by the collar. You kept walking backwards until your back hit the cold wall.
"Lieutenant…" you tried.
You flinched, watching him bring the boy forcefully to the ground on his knees. Your eyes traveled back up, watching how Simon's eyes had dangerously darkened.
"Apologize little cunt." He ordered. His voice kept a low volume. Steady. Not a hiss, not a growl, not a groan. His voice itself, even in a normal tone, promised havoc. The poor boy immediately apologized, stammering on his words. He had visibly paled, his eyes glued to the floor.
"Go. Finish your shower. We'll wait." Simon said before roughly bringing back up the recruit, pushing him towards the door. He threw a last, heavy dark look at you, making you shiver delightfully before he stepped out as well.
What was it. That feeling deep in your chest. You were fucking lying to yourself. The way your pussy clenched around nothing, the way your thighs squeezed together. His gaze, his voice… he had turned you on. You shook your head, hurrying to finish your shower.
Ten minutes later, you stepped out, fully clothed, wet hair tied in a bun. You fell upon a still furious Lieutenant, eyeing the recruit as he tried to remain stable, arms shaking, doing push ups.
"You done?" He asked you. His voice remained in the dangerous, sexy level he had spoken before, making you unable to answer properly. You simply nodded.
"Why didn't you call me?" He asked.
"I… you didn't want to talk to me. Not since…" you cleared your throat. "Doesn't matter."
"It matters." He simply responded. "Now i got to teach this fucker, and you, to behave."
You frowned. You?
"Get up." He ordered. The poor recruit standing. "Let's walk to the barracks. Tracker. You remain close to me."
You couldn't find it in yourself to brat. You simply sent him a dark look before walking beside him.
The way to the barracks was quiet. You had walked up the stairs, eyes widening as Simon turned left before even reaching your floor. He switched the lights on.
"SQUAD 8. GET UP. ALL OF YOU." He yelled in the hallway.
It was immediate. The sound of people standing and quickly running to put the minimum of clothes on, a t-shirt and some pants.
You stepped closer to the lieutenant, making sure he was the only one who could hear you.
"Ghost. What are you doing?" You asked.
He didn't answer. He turned back to the hallway which was quickly filling up with recruits who stood to attention in front of him.
"OUT. EVERYONE." He barked again.
The recruits jogged out, the poor boy at the head of the line as you kept walking next to Simon.
Outside he made them line up. You felt cold. You hadn't expected to end up in the cold for so long. He noticed. He angrily shook off his tactical vest, throwing it over your shoulders, earning a dark look from you. In a swift motion he grabbed you by the waist, lifting you up to sit on top of a very known wall. You had barely time to grab his shoulders as you yelped.
"LISTEN UP. THIS IS CADET WILLIAMS. YOU SHALL THANK HIM FOR YOUR PUNISHMENT." He snarled.
You felt yourself feeling guilty once more. Shit. And the punishment started. Push ups, burpees. You kept eyeing him. He was tense. Incredibly tense. And watching the cadets running, huffing, out of breath wasn't helping for a second. He had enough. You watched him roll his shoulders, stepping closer to the cadets. Close combat training. You closed your eyes, completely baffled by his actions.
You watched him tightening his gloves, motioning for the first boy to step closer. You could visibly see the defeat in the boy's eyes. And he fought. Bringing to the floor one after the other, sometimes making you wince under the sheer force he was using. It was starting to get unbearable. You felt your own anger rise. He noticed. Of course he did. He ordered them to fight each other as he walked to you.
His breathing was barely faster. You could see his skin glistening with sweat. The way your body reacted only made you angrier.
"Why are you doing this?!" You whispered-yelled to him.
"I'm punishing my soldiers for being a pervert." He said in the same tone.
"By punishing his whole squad??" You growled.
"Exactly. If I punish only him, he'll think it's worth the pain to get to view a pretty ass under the shower." You blushed at the comment. "If I punish his whole squad he knows he'll be the black sheep of the group. That his own teammates will despise him and his actions as they reflect on everyone. I can assure you. He, or his team, will never try it again." He explained, voice calm but still dark. You opened your mouth before shutting it again. "And I know you hate seeing them punished." He finished.
You glared at him.
"That. Is your punishment for going against direct rules given by Price." He said. You rolled your eyes. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?" He growled dangerously.
You didn't answer. But you wished you did. He immediately turned to the recruits, making you gasp.
"LISTEN UP. YOU'RE ALL ON EXTRA DUTIES FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS."
You jumped off the wall, running to him.
"Ok OK! I'M SORRY!" You yelled.
He looked down at you, satisfied look in his eyes, before chuckling darkly. You pouted, crossing your arms.
"BACK TO BED." He finally rang, making you sigh with relief.
You walked behind him, up the stairs. He slowed down grabbing your arm, pulling you in front of him. You threw him a dark look before walking up the stairs. You didn't stop, climbing all the way up to your own barracks. He was close behind, having quickly checked that everyone was in bed. You pushed the door open, fury coursing through you.
"Where are you going?" You heard.
You stepped into the kitchen, crossing your arms. You turned to him as he walked in.
"You, sir, are a dickhead!" You spat.
He flinched, also crossing his arms.
"I warned you. The first time you stepped into that shower. These boys haven't seen any in a long while. You are a sweet candy plastered on a plate for them." He scolded again.
"Oh really? Is that thought from them or from you?" You provoked.
Silence fell. You felt guilty as soon as the words left your throat. You remembered his past. His fear of his own behavior. You felt horrible.
"I have been nothing but decent with you." He let out in a monotonous tone.
You sighed, closing your eyes.
"Yes you have… you're right. You've been more than decent. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it…" you apologized.
"Not more than decent…" he said.
You opened your eyes, confusion filling you.
"Yes you have. What do you mean?" You asked.
"I… choked you. In the middle of the night." Obvious guilt tainted his words. You couldn't help but sigh. You stepped to him, watching him freeze on the spot. You slowly grabbed his hand, raising it to your neck, wrapping it softly around it. He remained still the entire time. You looked up at him.
"You had a nightmare. I startled you awake. It was my fault. You reacted accordingly to your training. Your current feelings. I do not. Hold it against you." His eyes didn't leave yours, his hand applying absolutely no pressure on your neck. "I'm fine. I'm not angry. I'm not scared. I'm annoyed that you ignored this conversation. But I'm not holding it against you." You finished. It took a few seconds for him to say anything.
"You had bruises…"
"Had worse ones before. Not even painful."
"I scared you…"
"Spur of the moment, I wasn't expecting it."
"I… held onto you."
You smiled softly. "You did. I started it though."
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." His thumb caressed the side of your neck.
"It's fine Simon." You let out, grabbing his full attention. "We all have nightmares. We're all fucking broken and fucked up. We've all been through traumatizing shit. We all need to be held. And that's ok." You soothed.
You remained like this for a little while. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his gloves around your throat, simply laying there.
"You're still a dickhead though…" you mumbled with a teasing smirk.
"You fucking brat…" he answered with the same teasing tone. You chuckled, opening your eyes as he lowered his hand.
"Don't ever go to the showers alone. Do you understand?" He said, his usual commanding tone back. You sighed, annoyed. "I am serious Y/N." You looked up, surprised by your name on his lips. "It's dangerous."
"Dangerous…?" You repeated. He stepped even closer.
"Yes. Dangerous." He repeated as well.
You frowned before understanding his words. You sighed but nodded, looking up at him through your lashes. He nodded his head as well.
"I'm going to bed. Goodnight tracker." He said.
"Good night Lieutenant." You answered.
He turned around, walking away.
You wanted to say something more. Anything. Tell him you can hold him anytime he needs. Before you found the courage to speak, he walked out of sight.
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