#but also hey what the fuck tua dream

[anapotatowriter]

Hello! Can I request a songfic for Edmund Pevensie x reader inspired from the song "It Ain't Me", it'll be take place in modern au also angst :> thanks

It ain't me

Edmund Pevensie x Reader

A/N: Hey sweetheart! I hope you like this fic! I loved writing it, the song was so nice to listen to and literally gave so much nostalgia- As usual, if you want anything changed, feel free!

ALSO PEOPLE, SEND TUA FIC REQUESTS-

Summary: Y/N reminisces her time with her past lover. This is a songfic.

Warnings: Alcoholism, a teensy bit of swearing, a bit of angst? But a sort of bittersweet ending.

Requested: Yesssss~

I had a dream 

We were sipping whiskey neat 

Highest floor, The Bowery 

Nowhere's high enough 

“Ed, where are you taking me?” I giggled, unable to see through the blindfold he had put on my eyes. “Stairs,” replied the boy simply, warning me beforehand. “Just tell me, Eddie,” I whined, dragging out the last syllable. “What’s the point of the surprise then, love?” he asked rhetorically as he slowly guided me up several flights of stairs. “Are you planning to murder me? Cause honestly, I would rather die because of a stab wound,” I joked, a deep chuckle coming from behind me as we reached the last of the stairs. “And, tada!” he exclaimed, untying the blindfold. I gasped as I looked around the highest floor of The Bowery, one of the only alcohol stores in our small town. “I rented the whole floor,” he explained as he sat on the end of the floor, his feet dangling off of the building in between the gaps of the railings. I slid down beside him, leaning my head against his shoulder. “So, I brought you the best whiskey I have ever had,” said the boy, holding up a bottle wrapped with f/c ribbons, a rose trapped between the strings. “Oh please, you only started drinking alcohol 4 months ago,” I said, rolling my eyes and nudging him with my elbow. He unscrewed the cap of the bottle and poured out a little bit of whiskey in two glasses, omitting the ice that I had seen relatives put. I sipped at the liquid and immediately choked, coughing at the bitter taste. Edmund laughed at my facial expression, making me pout. “Oh come on Y/N, it’s not every day a girl turns 18! Drink up,” he smiled, finishing the remains of the whiskey. I closed my nose and chugged down the burning liquor, slamming the glass down next to me. “Believe me, Y/N, it’s all going to go up from here. We’re both going to Oxford! Nowhere is high enough for the two of us,” he sighed, placing a kiss on my head, as I burrowed my face into the sleeves of his hoodie.

I gasped, sitting up in bed at the forgotten memory, tears having seeped down my face during the night. My pillow was stained from the tears of the tragic past, and water lay in my waterline and blurred my vision. I gulped harshly as I placed my hand over my pounding heart, trying to forget the memory. I glanced forlornly at the empty side where my lover used to sleep. I choked out a sob as I buried my face into my pillow again, sobs wracking through my body till early in the morning.

Somewhere along the lines 

We stopped seeing eye to eye 

You were staying out all night 

And I had enough 

I glanced at the clock next to me, only to see that it was Saturday. With no distraction from my pain and no energy to do the seemingly infinite number of chores, I continued to lie in bed as I recounted the memories that I had forced away from my thoughts. Tears slipped slowly down my face as memories from two years ago haunted me. 

“YOU ARE ALWAYS DOING THIS EDMUND!” I had yelled that fateful night, in the kitchen of my old hom- house. “SORRY IF I WANT A FUCKING BREAK AFTER WORKING MY ASS OFF SO THAT WE CAN AFFORD THIS PLACE,” he yelled back, prodding his finger in my direction, his face red. “MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED WASTING MONEY BUYING ALL THIS TRASH, YOU WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH ME, YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!” I screeched, pointing at the alcohol bottles. “YOU ARE STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT EDMUND, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU’RE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON,” I continued, the clock ticking to 4 in the morning. “YOU’RE SO BLOODY ANNOYING, Y/N! ARE YOU FUCKING INSECURE OR SOMETHING? MAYBE IT’S TIME YOU REALISED THAT I DON’T WANT TO BE SEEN WITH THE LIKES OF YOU!” he yelled, regret flashing through his eyes as soon as he said those words. Tears welled in my eyes, blurring the guilt-ridden face of the boy in front of me, his dark brown hair the only visible feature under the yellow lights of the kitchen as the tears escaped my eyes. Edmund tried to reach for my wrist but I pulled my body away from him, making him flinch a little at the cold reaction. “I’ve had enough,” I croaked, walking away from the boy to our room and locking the door as he pleaded apologies.

I snapped out of the daydream, glancing at the clock which showed that it was now nine in the morning. My heart hurt from his last words, making me feel like I couldn’t breathe. I rubbed my eyes, the tears leaving a salty mess on my face. I forced myself to get up, stumbling slightly on the way to the bathroom through the haze of tears. I started the flow of hot water in the shower and stood under it as the steam from the water-filled the room, fogging up the mirror. My mind shut down as I stood under the steady stream of water that relaxed my muscles.

Who's gonna walk you 

Through the dark side of the morning? 

Who's gonna rock you 

When the sun won't let you sleep? 

Who's waking up to drive you home 

When you're drunk and all alone? 

Who's gonna walk you 

Through the dark side of the morning? 

“Please pick me up Y/N/N,” slurred Edmund’s voice through the line, making me sigh and immediately pick up my car keys to pick up the drunk boy. “Edmund, this isn’t good for you,” I sighed as we drove back from the pub, Edmund slouched over in his seat, his suit wrinkled and hair messy. “Work is so exhausting, baby,” he sighed, ignoring my words. “I miss college,” he said, leaning his head back as he thought about our time two years ago at Oxford University. “Edmund, please stop drinking so much. Talk to me instead,” I interrupted his ramble about the past, making his brown eyes well up with innocent tears. “Are you mad at me?” he asked as I parked the car and undid his seatbelt, helping him out of the seat to our apartment. “I could never be mad at you, sweetheart,” I assured, kissing his forehead before opening the front door of our home. “Please don’t leave, I don’t want the nightmares,” muttered the boy when I tried leaving him on the bed to crash on the couch. I considered for a short moment before climbing in beside him, cradling his head and rocking him gently as he drifted into a seemingly peaceful sleep.

Suddenly, I snapped out of the daydream when cold water started hitting my body instead of hot water. I switched off the shower and climbed out, wrapping the towel tightly around my body, and opening the bathroom door. As the steam slowly escaped from the bathroom, I lay down on the bed again, my legs dangling off the edge as I thought about us when we were younger. 

I had a dream 

We were back to seventeen 

Summer nights and The Libertines 

Never growing up 

I was doing homework at my desk when “Don’t look back into the sun” started playing from outside my window. I dropped the pen that I had been spinning between my fingers and stood up from my study table. I glanced out of the window to see Edmund standing there with a sign in his hand that said, “PROM?” I pulled the window up, the hot summer air of the night hitting my skin as I yelled, “YES!” He grinned and threw his hands up in celebration making me giggle softly as the song by the Libertines continued to play. 

I got up from my bed and slipped on a hoodie and tights in place of the towel wrapped around me, back to my 27-year-old self 10 years later. I hummed the familiar song softly before picking up my phone and opening Spotify. The song by the Libertines drifted through the room, making me smile despite the bittersweet memories. 

Who's gonna walk you 

Through the dark side of the morning? 

Who's gonna rock you 

When the sun won't let you sleep? 

Who's waking up to drive you home 

When you're drunk and all alone? 

Who's gonna walk you 

Through the dark side of the morning? 

It ain't me 

I snooped through the messages Edmund had sent to me over the years. Sweet messages of, “I’ll be home in five minutes, sweetheart,” slowly changed to, “Not coming home today, don’t wait.” As I reached the end of the chat, a voicemail that I had been too hesitant to open came up. I played the message, tears immediately springing to my eyes at the familiar British accent, the husky undertones bringing about a sense of closure, sewing old wounds closed. “I am so sorry Y/N. I need you. Who is going to take care of me when I’m drunk, or when I can’t sleep,” his voice said through the speakers of my phone. “It ain’t me,” I said softly to myself, a parting with the sweet boy I had known, who was now lost from everywhere except the stained memories I held. 

[gourmet-trash]

wip ask game

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descript or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it!

The Feminine Urge to Follow Your Pirate Father to Sea

Psychosis

Fae!Hermann Part 3

A Serial Killer Walks Into a Bar (Part 2)

antichrist wip

Something Like That

venom but make it tua

Insane Note to Self

Stupid thought

Stupid Thought Plots

Claws Out

Robot Sized Sock on the Door [asked and answered!]

kinda can't fucking believe i have this many?? i also have absolutely no idea what at least two of these even are tbh anymore they're that old lol. but hey! this is everything that i currently have sitting around unfinished in my google drive (or my phone notes...) atm and i'm actively putting off the more plot heavy work i need to be doing on thundercracker's fever dream bad times so. hmu! (also i just absolutely stole this from @/desdemonafictional becuse it was very fun to ask and seems like fun to answer!)

[in-tua-deep]

Couple of dream things today:

First dream I can’t remember fully, but I remember being a god. a demi-god? I remember my father tenderly taking my face in my hands and asking if he needs to extinguish me when I stood there with my eyes closed, and that I watched my god-self open my eyes and just. They were pure light and fire all the way through, beacons set in my face.

I remember thinking that it was because I was fire on the inside. Not regular fire, fire like on the sun. Fusion. I remember that it hurt. 

I remember explaining to my brother, who was travelling with me and my father (I think they freed me from somewhere?) that godhood isn’t something that dilutes, that it is potential that you just have to push hard enough before it snaps - like a chemical reaction. But I also remember telling him that you don’t get a choice, that if you are placed within a crucible of suffering you become no matter what you want.

I remember trying to remember who I was, and all I could come up with in the end was a single name:

Prometheus. 

---

Second dream was actually tua themed!

The squad found out that they weren’t the only academy. They were just the most successful. They found these files full of information on... horrendous things that the other kids went through. I think all of them died young. 

I remember Klaus looking at the files and someone asking if he could investigate and him shaking his head saying, “Kids these young don’t tend to leave ghosts.”

I also remember the squad voting Diego to be investigator because a) he stole some of Viktor’s food that morning and b) he played a prank on Five like 15 minutes before this discovery that involved a thin line of fishing wire and Five’s pants.

so they were both like “fuck diego, i guess! he gets to investigate the horrors” and the rest of the fam was like “sorry bro better you than me”

Same dream had the squad celebrating their birthday. I think Five was staying at Viktor’s place? They were just. Constantly together tbh. Anyway they were waiting on a rooftop-type area for the others to arrive that they had rented to celebrate

You know the beads that make up mardi gras necklaces? they had like, BUCKETS of those individual beads. When the rest came up and got off the elevator, Five and Viktor both reached in and grabbed handfuls of gold beads and just pelted the others with them while chanting “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”

Mostly I just remember Five jumping just about everywhere bc there was a brief moment where I was Five and I remember jumping as much as possible bc usually when I have powers in dreams they don’t work but this time they did - cue Five-me jumping 2 bed >:3c

---

I don’t remember this part very well but I think my brain very briefly considered an au where ben was the one who saved the world? that ghost!ben and five worked together and ben ended up sent back, way into the past when they were kids

and Ben took up post as Klaus���s ghost guardian and changed the future? very fuzzy

anyway that’s all enjoy my night ramblings

[hxney-lemcn]

Excuse Me What? — Five Hargreeves x fem! reader

Summery: Reader is the only thing that can stop the apocalypse, what will they do?

tw: Swearing

a/n: I might make this a little personal au of mine. Gif Cred: @numberfivesss

wc: 1.8k

Main Master List | TUA Master List

I watched what I normally do when my family is out of the house. I was also reading fanfiction, so I was currently multitasking. It felt like any other day. Then the doorbell rang. I felt the anxiety crawl through my skin. I was always taught to not answer the door (unless it’s a known order like pizza or something). So I ignored the ring and continued to watch the show/video/movie. 

Then something unusual happened. I heard a woosh like noise as well as footsteps. I felt my heart start hammering in my chest at the thought of a stranger currently being in the house with me. I quickly pulled up 911, but before I could call something unreal happened. 

My bedroom door opened revealing Five Hargreeves. Wait...or would it be Aiden Gallagher? But Aiden would not just show up in a random person’s house like this. Five doesn’t exist though! Oh jeeze what the hell is going on. This has to be a dream right? But I’ve never had a dream this concise before. I couldn’t seem to speak or even breath as we just stared at each other.

“Good,” He spoke up. “You’re here. Get dressed we have to go.” My mind reeled as I couldn’t seem to process what the fuck was going on.

“Who the hell are you and why are you in my house?” I questioned, trying to hide my slightly shaky hands. 

He rolled his eyes while muttering, “We don’t have time for this.” He sighed and gave me a strained smile, “I’ll explain on the way, okay?”

“B-but my parents-”

“You’re parents won’t be here much longer if you don’t just come with me,” He glared. I gulped but stood up.

“Okay,” I nodded. “I’ll change really quickly.”

After I changed, we got into the car.

“So who are you?” I asked.

“Five,” He replied. 

“Five Hargreeves?” I asked meekly glancing at his stoic face. 

He shot me a look of surprise and distrust before saying, “How do you know that?” 

“Uhm!” I said feeling a small blush form on my cheeks. I have literally been obsessing over the old, caffeine addicted male for I can’t even remember how long. I couldn’t just tell him that though! Let alone that his and his siblings lives are a Netflix show that I’ve watched more than once. “Wait is there an apocalypse happening?” I asked with great concern looking over to him quickly. He glanced at me again, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

“Shit,” Five muttered, eyes widening. “You work for the commission don’t you, this whole thing was a trap.” 

“Wha?” I sounded out with wide eyes. “No way! I’m too unfit for the Commission anyways. I can barely walk up stairs without losing breath.”

“Then how do you know so much,” He continued.

“You wouldn’t believe me,” I sighed.

“Try me,” Five replied pulling into a parking lot for a...abandoned Blockbuster? I thought they were all wiped out. Whatever. Five parked the car and turned to me with a calculating gaze.

“What if I said you are a character from a show I watched along with all your siblings,” I spewed out quickly, not making eye contact. I noticed his eyebrow furrow as he processed what I said.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“Well I mean it was also a comic, though I still have to read that,” I rambled on but stopped myself. “There’s a show called The Umbrella Academy where you try to stop the apocalypse twice, season three still has to come out though.”

I fidgeted with my hands as he raised an eyebrow. He seemed to be amused with himself as he said, “The Commission would never make such a ridiculous story, okay let’s continue then.” 

“Hey!” I shouted as he got out of the car. “It may be ridiculous but it’s true!” I scrambled out of the car as I followed behind him. “And you never answered my question!”

“Well if what you say is right, then you probably already know,” Five shrugged. We entered the Blockbuster and my heart dropped at his smooth words. I forgot this was basically a daily thing for him, but I, on the other hand, was used to my mundane and normal life. Yeah I’ve read fan fic that had this scenario, but I never thought it would actually happen! I took a few deep breaths as Five took out a oh so familiar briefcase, yet it looked a little modified. 

“Wait,” I stopped to which I could tell I was definitely starting to irritate him. “What do I have to do with this?” 

“Let’s just say you don’t belong here,” Five said mysteriously and I became even more confused. What does he mean? All I can remember is growing up and living my life here, no time stuff, no weird fantasy stuff, just...a normal life. Before I could ask another question he glared at me, “Like I said, I’ll explain everything later, just come with me.” 

For all I know he could be leading me to my slaughter. Yet knowing Five, he only would’ve killed me if he needed to and he would’ve done it right away. Plus this was my literal dream, so might as well enjoy the ride. Five grabbed the suitcase, knowing that I had to touch him so we both can go, I held onto his shoulder which tensed under my touch. Within a blink we were engulfed in a blue light. Then we were standing in the Hargreeves mansion. Holy fuck, if this was a dream please don’t wake me up. 

Five seemed much more relaxed now and walked over to the bar in the parlor room. I followed him like a lost puppy, I mean where else would I go? He set the briefcase down and started to make a drink. I felt a little awkward but I still had a ton of unanswered questions. 

“Five,” I called out and he didn’t even bother to turn around. “C-could you now explain what’s going on?” 

“Yeah yeah,” He sighed out. “Have a seat.” I sat down on the barstool next to him and he offered me a drink. You know what, might as well. I accepted the drink with a small smile and we clinked our glasses. 

“The Commission took you when you were a baby,” Five began explaining. “They took you from this dimension and took you to a different one. The Handler seemed to enjoy chaos and you being in that dimension affects ours gravely.” 

I took in this information and whispered out, “No one is insignificant.” Five raised an eyebrow in question and I responded, “A quote said by you.” He nodded and a smirk formed on his lips. 

“So you quoted me before?” He asked, his ego seemed to expand a bit. 

Then I remembered all the times me and my friend would shout ‘I’M THE DADDY HERE’, which technically we were quoting him. I felt a smirk overcome my face as I gave him a sly grin. 

“Wanna know your most popular quote?” I asked resting my elbow on the bar table, also resting my head. 

“Sure,” He replied taking a sip of his drink, eyes never leaving my figure, which internally flustered me. 

“I’m the daddy here!” I shouted out giggling after like a madman. Suddenly the familiar brother of Five that I loved possibly even more than Five entered. 

“Five what type of party are you having-” Klaus stopped in his tracks and stared at me. “You have a girl over!” Five let out a sigh and took an even bigger sip of his drink. I felt my inner fangirl try to consume me as I bit my lip. 

“Hi,” I squeaked out and Five glared at Klaus. 

“Hello,” Klaus replied with a smile. “So how did you meet my dear little brother?” 

“Long story,” I smiled awkwardly. 

“I got time,” Klaus smiled sitting down on a stool next to me, grabbing a drink that Five previously made. So I explained everything, from being from another dimension, to the fact they were a tv show where I was from. 

“Who’s your favorite?” Klaus asked eagerly with a childlike excitement. 

“That’s a tough question,” I groaned out. “Either you, Ben, Vanya, Allison, Diego, or Five.”

“That’s all of us,” Five pointed out. “Besides Luther.”

“Yeah I know,” I shrugged sipping my drink. “I can’t choose.”

“Why not Luther?” Klaus asked genuinely curious. 

“The whole ‘dad sent me to the moon’ stuff irritated me, I liked him a little more in season 2,” I explained. “Yet Diego was really getting on my nerves in season 2 with the whole JFK thing. Also when everybody ignored how much Five went through seeing you all die so many times like ugh-”

Five cut me off with a warning tone, “(Y/n).” Klaus seemed surprised by what I just said and I let out a cough nervously.

“Sorry about that,” I let out a nervous laugh as Five gave me a murderous glare. “Didn’t mean to...say all that.” Klaus looked between Five and I, a tiny smirk forming on his face. Oh no, this wasn’t going to be good. 

“So you know a lot about Five huh,” Klaus asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“I know a lot about all of you,” I shrugged. “Some stuff you guys might not even know about yourselves, or maybe that’s just me assuming stuff, who knows?” 

“Tell me something about Five,” Klaus persisted. 

“Don’t,” Five spoke out. 

“I won’t,” I agreed. “The stuff I ‘know’ is kinda personal and I don’t wanna say stuff that may not be real either.” 

“Awe,” Klaus pouted. “No fun.” Klaus stood up and walked away, “See ya!” Then it became awkward between Five and I. He stared at his drink as I kept giving him glances. Then realization hit me, where will I go? I don’t have friends or family, and I don’t have a job or money. Am I even a resident of the United States here? Oh god now I’m panicking. 

“Hey Five?” I whispered out. 

“Hm?” He questioned out, alerting me I gained his attention. 

“Where will I go?” I asked. He looked at me in confusion. “I don’t have any money, or a job, or no where to stay.” 

“I didn’t expect you to go anywhere for a bit,” Five shrugged like it was obvious. “We have to find your birth information along with your social security card, then you can get a job and whatever you want from there.” I felt my heart thump as the thought of Five actually caring enough to not kick me to the street filled my head. 

“Y-you don’t have to,” I stuttered out staring into his eyes. 

He rolled his eyes, “I’m not cruel enough to kick you out with nothing.” I felt a tiny smile make it’s way onto my face, never in a million years did I think any of this would happen, yet it was. 

“That’s very sweet of you,” I said sending him a smile. He looked away and continued to consume his beverage. 

“Don’t tempt me,” He growled and I giggled. 

“Okay old man,” I grinned. 

[innately-pretentious]

Dating Klaus Hargreeves ❤️✨

A/N I’m back lads, and yes this is very long and super messy! Ik I’m super behind but I literally just finished the newest season of TUA and was feeling super inspired. Here are some headcanons for our favourite mess.

You probably ran into each other during one of his late night drug binges, finding him lying on the ground in your local park whilst you were clearing you head, his eyes were moving around, observing the stars in the night sky.

As you slowly approached him you became increasingly concerned, discovering that he was not only watching the stars but also yelling at the blank space next to him. You almost didn’t approach him, writing him off as another high person riding a wild trip, however, something told you to go and check up on him.

When you got next to him, interrupting his seemingly one-sided conversation, you asked him if he was alright.

Turning to you and muttering out a slightly coherent ‘yeah’, you insisted he sit and talk to you for a while, to unload whatever has got him so stressed out. You had nowhere to be and neither did he, that was how he found himself spilling the details of his extremely unique life to a total stranger until the early hours of the morning.

Nothing could prepare you for what he was about to unload, but when he is finished telling you about his family, his father, his powers, Ben and every other intimate detail he could think of, you knew you couldn’t just leave him here. After minimal persuasion on your part you drag him back to your apartment, making him some tea, putting him in the shower and getting him into bed.

Nobody had ever treated him this well, not even his own family. Now this stranger was showing him the greatest display of hospitality, he dozed off with tears in his eyes.

You watch him from across the room, this was probably the first good sleep he has had in a while. You didn’t know what drew you to this strange boy, but you were determined to help him.

He pretty much lived with you on and off for the next few months, hanging out with you multiple times a week. He discovered (with the help of Ben) his growing feelings for you, but he never wanted to act on them.

He is extremely shy initially with showing any signs of attraction towards you. Having been put down by his family for most of his life, he truly believes he will just eventually disappoint you. Ben has been bugging him to make a move for months, it is the first time he has ever seen his usually-confident brother act bashful. You would find yourself often initiating intimate acts or even talking about dating one another, due to his fear of dragging you into his mess of a life.

His insecurities do seem to fade as your relationship progresses, however, you often have to reassure him that his best is more than enough. You will always be there to pick up the pieces as long as he is willing to help.

However, when you do finally get together and comfortable, he is not shy about his displays of affection in any way! You often find that he always has to be touching you in some way. Placing his hand of your thigh while sitting next to each other, draping his arm around your shoulder, leaning into you when watching a movie, reaching for you in the middle of the night, half asleep. You almost wonder if he does it subconsciously. Pulling you into him for a quick kiss, even if it is in public. Not that you mind, you’re just glad he finally let his walls down for you.

Although he dislikes it in the moment, you make a point not to enable him. Instead you honestly ask him about his addictions and try to understand it, nobody has ever done this before. One of the proudest moments is finding him on your doorstep in the early hours of the morning, holding a fresh packet in his hand.

‘Take them, I’m gonna do them and I really don’t want to.’

You teared up at how far he has come, spending the night tangled in each others limbs, telling him how proud you were as he snuggled further into your waist.

Being there for him when his father dies, even though it really doesn’t take much of a toll on him, you tag along to make sure. When you finally meet his other siblings, you truly understand the reasons behind his addiction, often being pushed aside or ignored by his family members. The people that are supposed to care about him most, it takes a lot for you to hold your tongue.

Klaus can be quite a homebody when he wants to be, one of his favourite activities is just hanging around the mansion with you.

He loves finding you in the kitchen, drawn in by the smell of you making something delicious. He will come up behind you, arms snaking around your waist, head tucked into the crook of your neck.

He also loves to play his music loud, so the two of you can scream the lyrics to your favourite songs, dancing around the kitchen like idiots whilst simultaneously trying to cook a meal is a skill you have definitely acquired during your relationship.

Ben is completely in awe of you being able to steer Klaus in such a positive direction, he cannot be prouder of his brother. You often get Klaus to be the middle man in your conversations, even though the two of you have never met face to face, you honestly believe he is one of your close friends.

He introduces you to the clubbing scene, taking you out dancing every other weekend! You notice that he believes getting ready to go out is just as much of the fun, you both take turns picking out each others outfits. Blaring your favourite songs as you paint his nails or he does your eyeliner, leaving your bedroom in a massive mess that you would worry about tomorrow morning.

Dancing together in a packed nightclub, giggling as he attempts to spin you round, sneaking kisses here and there until the lights come on.

When Sunday comes around, you are both allowed to spend the day lazing in bed. Now Klaus is sober, he sometimes finds himself waking up before you. Finding you tucked under his arm in the morning is a dream, brushing your hair gently out of your face as he watches the sun pour in from a crack in the curtain. Nothing could be more blissful.

Occasionally you will wake up alone in bed, these days always make you slightly uneasy. Deep down you know Klaus is probably just downstairs making coffee or running a bath for the two of you, a small part of you can’t help but be scared he has relapsed.

He pretends he doesn’t notice, but his heart aches knowing that you still worry about him, even after all this time.

You always catch him staring at you, he is not really subtle about it either, even if you are concentrating on an important task.

‘Klaus I actually have to work this time!’

‘Hey don’t blame me! I can’t help it if you’re the best thing to look at.”

When you find out about the impending apocalypse, you make a pact to stick together til the end, desperate to get as much time together as possible. During this time he becomes even more protective, never straying too far away from you, even following you into different rooms of to need to go grab something. If any precarious situation arises, he pushes you back, using himself as a barrier between you and the action.

With Five botching the whole time-travel thing, you both find yourself in the 1960s.

When he first arrived in the alley with Ben, he began frantically looking for you, becoming almost hysterical as he felt really alone for the first time in a long time. It took almost everything he had not to raid the local liquor shop to just forget about his predicament for just a moment. Ben is the voice of reason for him.

‘Fuck off Ben, can’t I just feel numb for once, I’ve lost her alright?!’

‘This is the last thing she would have wanted and you know it.’

It’s not until a year later you see each other again. You were revisiting the town where you first arrived in the 60s, picking up some new clothes and planning to get back on the road. Klaus, on his way to the diner for a quick bite to eat could spot you anywhere.

You were shocked when you heard a bang on the shop window, looking up and finding the same hazel eyes you would never forget, Klaus.

He bust through the shop doors, not caring that he knocked over a few clothing racks as he bounded towards you, jumping into your arms. He smelt the same, cigarette smoke masked with fresh cologne.

Landing on the floor together, laughing with tears streaming down your face, you just hold onto each other. (The shopkeeper is yelling, but this is more important than some scattered clothes!)

Having lunch together and catching up on everything you had been up to. He was impressed with you living on the road, finding various jobs and travelling across America. Although the thought of you going out there alone made his stomach flip, scared something bad might happen. When he tells you about ‘Destiny’s Children’ you wish you could say you were surprised, but you really expected nothing less. Of course Klaus would do something as extravagant as this.

That night is one of the best of your relationship. Making up for a whole year of lost time, he holds you closer, your entire body on top of his, head resting on his chest as he lazily rubs circles on your back.

When you are about to pass out you hear soft sobs coming from under you. Sitting up and holding his face in your hands, you reassure him that you’re here, you’re ok, you’re not going anywhere and you’re going to be alright. He grips onto you tighter and sobs into your shoulder, overwhelmed with emotions about how you finally managed to find each other again.

The clinginess does not end there, a year is a long time! Refusing to let go of you waist when you try to get up, always having his hand in yours, picking you up and spinning you round in the pool etc.

He takes full advantage of shopping with you in the 60s, with the fashion being almost as loud as he is. Watching him dance in and out of the racks of clothing, throwing various garments for you to try on. He loves to sneak into your changing room to ‘help’ you change into your next outfit…

When Ben is gone, you are the sole person he goes to for comfort. Holding onto each other and reminiscing about the good memories you all shared. After that day promising not to cry over him anymore, instead you would happily remember everything the three of you went through, looking back at his life positively.

[ofmythsandmadness]

Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts.

SUMMARY: You and Diego are close. Good friends. But nothing more than that, not now and not ever. You know that he’s not into you, that’s been made clear. There’s just one issue. While sober Diego thinks of you as just a friend, drunk Diego...well, that’s a whole other story. WARNING: drinking (mentions). swearing. angst, i suppose??  PAIRING: Diego Hargreeves x reader. WORD COUNT: 3300k+ (why can’t i write anything short....)

A/N: So, I’ve been looking a lot and thinking about the concepts between a happier Hargreeves family, so like sans apocolypse and whatever alternate dimension means they get along nicely and what not. And I’ve also been badly missing Diego Hargreeves and Diego content (because tua has been pretty dead on Tumblr, sadly). And so I wrote this. Please don’t consider anything canon and alongside the tv show, it’s not at all. 

IT’S HALF PAST MIDNIGHT WHEN THE PHONE RINGS. Whoever’s on the other end is lucky she was still awake. Her eyes had just been slipping shut when the loud sound interrupted her dreams. And truly, normally she would have clicked her phone off and ignored whoever was pestering her - but there was only a handful of people that called that late. And generally, there was unfortunately a good reason. 

Not even bothering to look at the caller ID, she clicked accept and raised the phone to her ear.

“This had better be important.”

“It’s Diego.”

And immediately, even without a chance to exhale, her heart began to pound. Stupid emotions, right? Betraying herself to...well, herself. Y/N sighed. Her frown dissipated, though she tried to remain irritated and not ready to jump into action. “What’s happened this time?”

“Well, he - he - long story short, there was a drinking contest,” Vanya mumbled, hard to understand amongst the pounding music on the other end. In the background someone shouted something, another voice joining in, and already Y/N could paint a pretty clear picture of the circumstances in her mind. “I’m sorry to bother you, but you know that when he’s in this state, well -”

“-it’s no problem. I get it, I didn’t sign into being his emergency babysitter for nothing. And...it’s not your fault your brother’s a dumbass.”

Vanya quietly laughed on the other side of the line. “He’s really something else.”

“Yeah...yeah, that’s one way to put it.” Already she was up, slipping on her jacket and shoes and fixing her hair in the tiny foyer mirror. “Give me like, ten minutes. Can you keep the trio alive that long?”

“I’ll do my best.”

Y/N smiled softly. “All you can do. Thanks, Vanya.” She clicked end and unlocked her door, rushing down the dimly lit hallway with new urgency, ready to go save some souls from what could be a particularly rough night.

Diego Hargreeves was a lot of things. But Drunk-Diego - well, that was a force not many could handle. In fact, no one really could, not even her, the designated collector due to a pact they made several years back. But though it was a challenge, she cared far too much (unfortunately) about him to say no, ever. And, also, he really did not need to be thrown in jail for the umpteenth time for something so silly as this.

                                   ─── 

IT TOOK APPROXIMATELY SIX MINUTES TO GET TO THE BAR. That credit went to the lack of traffic so late, as well as the fact that her foot was practically pounding the gas pedal into the ground, begging her tiny car to go as fast as possible. Y/N was far too aware of what the Hargreeves boys were capable of and she was not eager to walk into a bloodbath. She could hope that someone thought to take Diego’s knives away from him, but that was unlikely.

Unfortunate, considering Drunk-Diego’s quick to anger nature (if one thought he was bad sober...oh, boy).

She hurried up the steps and pushed the door open, blinking to adjust to the dark lighting and throngs of bodies. People looked her way, but she paid them no mind, nodding once to the bartender before pushing her way through the crowd. It was not hard to find the Hargreeves, half because they always sat in the same place - and half just because of the noise. The sounds of cahoots and shouts filled her ears and Y/N had to wince and pause her movements. There was Luther’s bellow, rising just slightly above Diego’s hurled insults and Klaus’ squeaky, breathless jokes that no one ever truly got. It was like this every time something like this happened - and yet every time, it threw her off.

“Y/N, oh thank God you’re here,” cried Allison. She was followed closely by Vanya, wrapped up in a too-large sweater and wearing a matching frown to her sister. The tall woman moved in for a hug, but pulled away just as fast as she leant in. “I hate to make you do this, but-”

“-hey, it’s no biggie. Seriously, I wasn’t doing anything important.” Well, aside from maybe sleeping, but no point in ragging on that. She was already there, wasn’t she?

“It’s just that you’re the only one he ever listens to. Well, that and Vanya sometimes, but-”

“-it’s okay,” she interrupted, once more cutting the brunette off. The trio began to move back towards the craze. “I don’t mind helping out a friend.”

Behind her, Allison chuckled and mumbled something, but if she was meant to catch what, Y/N could not. She could guess the nature of the words, however, and chose to simply ignore it and continue on.

Once she was in view, the trio’s heads turned and cries of her name arised. Y/N could only grin as Klaus bounded over, wrapping his trembling hands around her body and murmuring how much he had missed her. Of course, it had only been two days since they had seen one another, but hey...arguing with logic with Klaus was never the smartest choice, and so she bit back her remark.

Luther did not come over, but just smiled sleepily on the couch. Diego, however, was moving next, with a large grin unlike any expression he ever wore sober. It was refreshing, seeing him smile - it really did suit him, and Y/N wished he would do it more often. But Drunk-Diego always forgot about his sober identity and did the adorable things that he would normally scorn. 

“Are you done here yet, big boy?” she teased, steadying him with a hand as he stumbled. When he shook his head, Y/N just chuckled. “Yeah, you’re done. Come on.”

“M’not even drunk, asshole…”

“Ri-ight. Well, whatever. We’re done here, and I am taking you home.”

With some struggle, mostly her trying to find a way to support him without breaking her back, the duo were on their way and leaving the rest of the Hargreeves behind. Diego protested the entire time, but she still managed to force him out of the bar. Y/N clung tightly to his body, trying to walk with him and not have him slip out of her grasp. It was a difficult task, but slowly but surely, they made it back to her car.

Once out of the bar, he was certainly sweeter, smiling as his inebriated self was prone to. She tried not to grin back, forcing herself to remain stone-faced and focus on her task. Diego managed to climb into the passenger seat without much difficulty, leaving her hurrying over to her own side and sliding in.

“Hey. Buckle up.”

Diego rolled his eyes but did as she asked. “Thanks, mo-oom.”

Y/N said nothing to that. Carefully, they pulled out and were back on the road, with Diego chuckling lowly about something or other and her eyes pinned to the road. 

“Where’re we going? This - this - this ain’t m’place…”

“No, it’s not. You’re crashing with me tonight.”

Diego’s head turned in his seat, twisting to attempt to focus on her face. “Ohh...so you takin’ me to your place, L/N?”

“Yes. So you can sleep.”

“Oh, I’m sure we...we...gonna do a lot of-”

-before he could finish the sentence, she cut him off with a click of her tongue. “You’re drunk, Diego. You are going to sleep, and like a damn baby, too.”

“Right. You just wanna piece a….this. You makin’ a - makin’ a - move?”

Y/N inhaled and turned the steering wheel sharply. There was no point listening to him, but it was hard to ignore his teasing (albeit, rather childish) remarks when it was the only sound filling the car. Curse that stupid broken radio.

“Y/N....Y/N…”

“We’re here now,” she interrupted, pulling into the parking spot and stopping sharply. Diego flung forward and whined, but she could hardly hear anything but her own pounding thoughts then. Stupidly, every time she let herself be pulled into his drunken words, let it infect her like a fucking plague until all she could do is repeat over and over the flirtatious remarks that would never mean anything. She collected every one in her mind from all past drunken encounters, held tight like a vice, to play over and over every time despite her mental protests. 

But she was going to do better this time. None of it meant anything, Y/N reminded herself, and he’s just latching on because you’re there. Nothing else but that.

    ───

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COME TO PICK ME UP?”

Y/N did not turn around, facing the cupboards instead of the man behind her. Though, she did not have to look to know he was off the couch and moving closer, drifting like a magnet into her path. At least he paused in the kitchen entrance, but it still felt like he was right there.

She coughed to clear her throat - to clear her mind. “We’ve gone over this, Diego. You call me if you need help, I call if I need help. We’ve been doin’ this five years and you can’t even remember our pact?”

Y/N turned to face him, finally taking in his soft, almost childish pout. She frowned. “What?”

“You never call me for help.”

“That’s not true.”

“Name...name one time, Y/N,” he mumbled back. His words still slurred but it was obvious Diego was a bit more in control. Not enough to be thinking right, of course, but at least he could talk normally. “One time in even the last year.”

When no examples came to mind, only red-hot shame licking up her neck and cheeks, she averted her gaze. “Look. Take these. They’re gonna make the aftermath a whole lot easier to deal with. And then lay down, dumbass, and sleep.”

“No! C’mon, Y/N. Why do you never ask for my help? You go to others, but - but-”

“-Diego-”

“-I wanna help you, too-oo,” he rushed out, words like vomit springing from his lips, thrown full-force at her face. The glass and pills were set down, the latter rolling in circles on the counter but neither paid them any mind. Diego’s hands found hers, tracing sloppy designs into her heated skin. “I wanna...I don’t know. I wanna be that guy for you.”

“Okay, no. Diego-”

“-and you know,” he continued, pulling away but ignoring her protests, “an’ I know, I’m not that great, but I’ll do anything you need. Even kill the spiders for you. You gotta lot of spiders? I’ll stab ‘em to death. Just like...” he sloppily mimed a stabbing motion, “this.”

Y/N folded her arms across her chest and sighed. Every time, there was the slightest of pushes and then it all came out, Drunk-Diego spewing tangents of fantasies that would be long forgotten by the next morning. Every time she tried to avoid it and yet it came out, leaving her trying to drown out his sweet words by the time Sober-Diego’s up and gruff and shut-down again. And sure, there was nothing wrong with either sober or inebriated Diego, she unfortunately cared for him either way - but it always stung a little, hearing him sing her sweet praises only to forget all about it.

“You need to sleep. And take these pills.”

“Nah, c’mon, I need you…”

“No, you don’t. Go to bed.” Why had she taken him back to her place? Sure, it would have been a pain trying to get into the gym, but it might have been easier emotionally than trying to do this. Next time, she would have to remind herself of this and go with that route.

Not like she would ever listen to herself.

Y/N watched as Diego stumbled about, tumbling in a slow, awkward spin-around, staring around her place and then looking once more her way. He smiled, though it was watery and tired, as though one push and it would crumble. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Sure,” she replied, not wasting a second on the compliment. “And you’re wasted. You need to go to bed.”

“C’mon, why-yy do you push me away?”

“I don’t.”

“You are righ’now!” he protested. Diego’s smile had dropped, just as she predicted, and he stumbled over to her. She tried not to run. “You...you...you not care about m-me?”

His slurred words cut deep, even with the steady reminder of nothing he says means anything. Y/N shakily sucked in a breath. “That’s not it. I care very much about you.”

“Hm...you smell like p-peaches.”

She said nothing to that. No point in encouraging his nonsense.

“Y/N…” he stepped closer, steadying himself on the countertop. Diego did not touch her, remaining far enough away to not make contact, but she could see his hand trembling, even twitch as though to take her own. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Stop.”

“You don’t get it - but - w-what’s that dumbass song? You dunno...what makes you beautiful! And-”

“-I swear, I-

“An-and you funny, and sweet-”

“-shut up now,” she hissed. Y/N finally came to her senses and shifted away, retreating back into the living room. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Diego try and stop her with his hand, but she skirted from the touch easily enough. “Stop saying this stuff, please.”

“B-but I need to tell you-”

-but she was not about to let him continue, not for a second. “I’m not doing this with you tonight. You’re drunk, you’re not thinking and you need to rest before you go on too much. Okay?”

His face fell, head tilted slightly to one side like a sad puppy. “But I….I...I lo-”

“-I know what you’re going to say, trust me. You’re going to compliment me and say all this sweet stuff, say you care and that you l-love me, even,” her voice trembled on the last syllables, “but I know you don’t mean any of it. And it’s not your fault, you’re drunk and not thinking and I don’t blame you, but I don’t want to hear all these things that aren’t true.”

“They are true.”

Y/N shook her head, chuckling sadly. “It’s okay. Okay? We’re good friends and sometimes you say stupid stuff when you’re drunk - I mean, you know I do. Your thing is just professing your non-existent feelings towards me. But look, it’s late and I do want to sleep, and you need to.”

Diego stepped forward, out of the kitchen and towards where Y/N stood. His brows were furrowed, but his face was still relaxed - at least not holding tight to the mask his sober counterpart clung to. Even in the shitty lighting, basked in shadows, he looked beautiful and it hurt to even look his way.

“No, no, I mean it.”

He moved closer, swaying ever so softly yet remaining on his feet all the same. One hand trembled and moved out, gently caressing her forearm with his fingers. His eyes slipped from hers to her lips, hesitating there. His hand drew away, but his body crept closer, eyes trained on her face, wishing for a connection that she would never allow him to make.

Once more, she shook her head. Without even thinking, she reached out to touch him, quickly moving the hand to his shoulder as though it was always meant to be supportive. “It’s okay. You won’t even remember this happened in the morning.”

“Bullshit.”

“Diego…”

Still, he remained firm in his belief, frowning down at her in what looked almost like concentration. “You think I could forget? I always remember. I ‘member everything with you.”

“No, you don’t. But it’s sweet, maybe a little cheesy but s’still sweet that you’re pretending otherwise.”

“You don’t g-get it, Y/N!”

No, he did not get it. He never did, at least not when absolutely hammered out of his normally quite logical mind. And there was no point in even bothering explaining herself to him, because he would forget until the next encounter when he would sing her praises before promptly forgetting all about how he toyed with her heart. She could count all the times off on her fingers, and sure he never did it on purpose, but that did not mean it did not hurt.

Y/N turned away, unable to look him in the eyes any longer. The sobs were coming and she would be damned if she cried right then, at least in his view. She choked back her tears and sighed. “Look. I care a whole lot about’cha. More’n you could ever know. And I’m fine with us just being friends, I’m not going to force you into loving me or shit like that. But I don’t want to keep hearing you say that you care about me, lying and toying with me like that because it does hurt, knowing you’re never gonna mean that. So please, for the love of whatever fucking deity runs this universe, go to bed and let’s just stop talking about this.”

With that, she stormed out, leaving him swaying by the couch. Y/N slammed her bedroom door and fell against it, freeing her tears to drip waterfalls down her reddened cheeks. She could hear him say something out there, but tried to pay it no mind. He had all he needed, and honestly she might do something stupid if she stayed out there too long.

At least that time had not been as bad. He only did this sometimes, but when it was done, it was long and convoluted compliments that a wannabe Shakespeare might declare poetry. One time, he even dared to try and kiss her, but she quickly made sure to cut him off. He was too drunk to comprehend his actions, but she knew that he would not want to wake up and know that he had kissed her. It was not fair to him and not fair to herself, either.

Y/N buried her head in her arms, propped up on her knees, and groaned through her tears. She should have just risked taking him home.

    ───

SHE ENDED UP NOT SLEEPING MUCH, not until five A.M hit. But after that, her eyes would finally slide shut and she would not open them until it was almost afternoon. Not that Y/N had planned on sleeping that late, but hell - it was a Saturday and it had been a worser Friday night than planned. She had earned a couple extras wasted on sleep.

Y/N yawned and slipped out of the bed, rubbing at her eyes to dispel the sleep. She still felt exhausted, probably due to the tears and high emotional run from the night before, but it had done at least some good. She felt more prepared to face the day, whatever it brought.

She found her apartment strangely empty, however. It was as though no one else had ever been there. She frowned, looking about as though Diego was hiding from her, but it was just her, as far as she could discern. And the only evidence of him ever being there came from the bottle of pills she had left out for him, pinning down a single piece of notepaper.

Y/N hurried to read what he had written for her, but was left feeling even more empty than before. What little he had wrote was vague, a simple ‘I’m sorry’ scrawled across in big letters, followed by his first initial. Not even his full name, as though he had been in a hurry to scurry off. Maybe he had been.

She folded the single paper and tossed it into the trash. Whatever it meant, he was not there to explain - but anyway, she could at least guess at the meaning and understand. If he was not there in the morning, he was either busy or could not bear to be there any longer, eager to flee. Not that she really blamed him. But still, it was odd.

Just before Y/N could begin her (albeit late) morning routine, there was a knock. For a moment, she debated just ignoring it and continuing on, but the raps sounded again and then once more, sounding more and more insistent as they went on. She was resigned to answering, grumbling under her breath about the bad nature of whoever’s visit and that ‘one day, she would have more balls to just ignore the knocks’.

She ripped open the door. “What-” her eyes drifted up, and Y/N stilled, lips forming a tiny ‘o’ in shock at the face that stood before her. “...Oh.”

A/N: May or may not be based on real life experiences (I’m an affectionate drunk, oops). Let me know if you’d be interested in a part two. :)

[arosmith-zeppelin]

General Thoughts on TUA Season 2

Spoilers!

Okay so I really liked that fight scene at the beginning

The soundtrack was KILLER

LUTHER'S. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT.

Vanya living out that lesbian cottagecore dream

Are we going to ignore that Five is a huge jackass and also brutally murdered about a dozen or so people? (I knew I was onto something when I said he had a Truth or Dare smile)

Klaus starting a cult

I actually kind of like how all the Hargreeves sometimes do shitty things.

ESPECIALLY BEN.

We've made him out to be such a perfect angel, from a narrative standpoint I'm glad that he did some shitty stuff.

Reggie. I still want to throw hands.

On that note can we talk about how Reggie loved Pogo more than his adopted kids? Now we know why Pogo was so loyal.

Elliott was a fun character

I love the scene where Allison first runs into the beauty parlor after being chased by those racist shits, and all the black women recognize the fear on her face and instantly shift into protective mode.

Acknowledging that the fight is not over.

Ray's confusion over not one, but TWO white dudes claiming to be his wife's brothers.

Five fighting the vending machine. What even was that lmao

I liked Lila at first but I didn't really like where her character went but at the same time I do? If that makes sense

The Handler literally just appears a Cruella de Vil/Mother Gothel hybrid in my head now

I'm so confused over fish man. Why is he a fish? Why does he look like Minion from Megamind? How does he smoke (bear in mind please, i haven't read the comics)

I love how the trailer hypes him up to be some big menacing bad guy but he's literally in one scene where he demotes the Handler and the next time he appears he gets murdered.

Diego just. Becomes a conspiracy nut

"Dads going to assassinate JFK" became the new "Dad sent me to the moon" lmao I'm sorry Diego

Speaking of Diego can i just rant about how when Reggie verbally attacked him to the point of bringing his stutter back NO ONE stood up for him? Is this how it's gonna be? Each season picks a new sibling to ignore?

Speaking of ignore where the hell did Klaus's ghosts go

Having his cult dress in blue and bother him like the ghosts did was a neat visual cue but

Where are the fucking ghosts

"When did Luther learn to fight dirty?" Five you do realize Luther fought in underground boxing matches (or whatever the hell they are) you SAW him fight in one

"I WANNA FEEL PAIN" Wow ok edgy middle school OC.

Diego really went "thats rough buddy" on Luther

Klaus really went "if you have to say 'its not incest technically' thats not great" on Allison

Klaus, Vanya, and Allison hugs! "Hey Vanny" and kissing her head? Them hanging out and dancing together? Ive been waiting for that SINCE SEASON ONE

I saw the exact moment Reggie decided "I'm staying the FUCK away from these kids" and it was when Luther ripped his shirt open and screamed "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME"

The Öga for Öga scene was pure comedy I love it

BENS DEATH SCENE HURT SO BAD

Fuck the Handler

"The Umbrella Academy may be assholes but they're not fools" Well yes but also no

Man the Handler really ate a raw fish whole huh

Brief side note, somehow I didn't realize that the original apocalypse happened on April Fool's Day

I think its so funny and great how Diego's been to the Commission and now he can just keep up with Five and the Handler's confrontation. Like he knows whats going on for once.

Okay so a lot of Commission operatives seem to have those Fnaf-esque masks, so......... does that mean Five at some point used a mask?

DIEGO CAN REDIRECT BULLETS

V A N Y A

Her controlling her powers? We love to see it.

Oh shit Lila's one of those October 1 kids

DIEGO REALLY DATED HIS SORT OF SISTER

I mean THEY SLEPT TOGETHER

Fuckin yikes

Wow so the Handler is like Reggie but somehow worse

I mean, they're kind of on the same level of shit, its hard to beat Reggie but the Handler gets on that level

So Five literally pulled a But For Me It Was Tuesday on Lila huh

Okay how many times is the Unbrella Academy going to kill off the Hargreeves siblings

Okay fine I'll admit Five finally controlling his time travelling was cool

Oh thank God Harlan lives

I love that Diego and Herb have a secret handshake

Sissy and Vanya....... MAYBE I CRIED.

Vanya and Diego just sitting and leaning against each other..... truly they came a long way from "she doesn't belong here"

SPARROW ACADEMY?

B E N ? ?

I love how the last word of the second season was "shit"

[cowboybuckleys]

get to know me tag game - Magicians edition

tagged by @steverogrs this is such a good idea! <33

name: mel, i also respond to ‘hey you’ and smartass lol

when you started watching the Magicians: s4, i only started a few weeks ago and made it my life’s and insomnia’s mission to catch up as quickly as i could. it was on my list for ages. and then i got lightly nudged into it by two different people and i’m not even mad lol

favorite season (so far): i like aspects of them all, but season 3 is my favorite for all the characters, season 4 has been shaping up to be pretty iconic tho

favorite female character(s): margo and fen. i do like them all, for what they bring to the table, but i would murder for margo and fen

favorite male character(s): eliot and quentin, it’s the strangest thing but i love them all as well, even Josh who on any other show would drive me nuts, but it’s the first show i don’t outright despise a main character. be the penny solidified my love for penny, and todd’s character growth over the 4 seasons has been oddly enjoyable?? he makes me laugh a lot, so there’s that.

if you were a magician, what would be your discipline? (i.e. your specialty,options here) definitely physical magic, i don’t think i’d do very well at the other ones

which of the main characters would you best get along with? probably Josh or Eliot, both of them would be super fun and super relaxed and that’s my slow jam

which of the main characters do you relate to most? probably Quentin, cos of the mental health stuff. or Eliot cos the booze lol. a little bit of Margo too because i can be snarky af

favorite unlikable character/villain: as much as i want him outta Eliot as soon as, i really have enjoyed The Monster. it’s given Hale some brilliant scenes. i definitely want Eliot back though lol

favorite pairing(s): quentin/eliot, josh/margo surprisingly lol, fen/margo, kady/penny/julia in all forms, i love love love q and eliot and margo’s friendship, josh interacting with julia and fen has been really interesting but i think i’d prefer it as a friendship too

favorite episode(s): 1x03, 1x11, 2x05, 2x08, 3x04 because penny and because of the last like 5 minutes of the episode lol, 3x05, 3x09 but mostly cos of under pressure (and this is coming from me, the hater of musical eps on a non-musical show lol), 3x13, 4x02, 4x05, 4x07 (it was nice to get some good fen content. i was well fed after that)

top 3 fandoms outside magicians: robron (it comes and goes lately cos fandom is so boring to me rn :\), b99, TUA. i’ve got so so many fandoms i dip my toes in tho. too much for my own good XD

dream job: anything where i can travel and write about it. i’d just like to experience places outside of the US for once

what one thing do you wish people knew about you? that i’m fucking awful at starting conversations. i’m notoriously bad at making the first move, in relationships and in friendships. i’m never bugged by being sent shit or having people excitedly yelling at me about fandom stuff, but i’m really awful at starting those convos myself. i’ve made some genuinely lovely friends tho and and and i’ve gotten so much inspiration from other fans, and i love making things for people. so i am trying to be better about starting conversations lol

@rustandruin @astralpenny @yasisworld idk who else watches it outside of some of the newer people??? so if you do, and you’re following me, tag me so i can read your answers and then come yell at you about our love for this show?? :D

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 6: “If someone can fuck you over once, then they can choose to do it again” - Raffy

Does this idol system have killer clowns walking around? Carnies doing handstands? Haunted Big Bertha’s? Who knows cause I CAN’T EVEN GET ACCESS TO THIS DAMN IDOL SYSTEM AND YALL ARE OUT HERE POCKETING SUPER IDOLS LIKE ITS AN IPOD TOUCH AND WE’RE 12.

---

WOW WHAT A VOTE. Raffy immediately having to use a Super Idol is probably ridiculously on brand, but in all honesty, seeing BENJ of all people go, is a shock to my system. I've voted out former finalists, but I thought that Benj was gonna go DEEP in this game. But now I need to focus I have to get Top 3 in this challenge to get these damn tickets. But my final thought on this super idol is that at least a *good* person got the Super Idol

this reward challenge has me so lost i hardly even go here i dont know any monologues i can perform

we're doing basic text dr today because if I talked I'll probably cry and no one wants that sahjahsjajs

so the vote happened and we were successful in voting raffy in majority. we being me Chris and benj BUT then it turned out raffy had something stupid called a superidol HJAHSJJHAS (sorry this is gonna be bitter time get ready) and was able to just basically cancel his elimination after seeing the votes???????? because who cares about strategy and having to make plans and being smart and capable of reading the tribe in successfully using an idol? no no no lets let someone just not talk to anyone and then save themselves and vote out someone who WORKS SO HARD AND IS SO ACTIVE AND PASSIONATE LIKE YEAH OKAY SAJHJSAHHJASASHJAHJSHAJS THAT MAKES SENSE

UGH

I'm sorry I'm so sad. benj was voted out because of this and I feel really empty and hurt about it. he was my best friend on this tribe we talked constantly every day and we were close in timezones and I trusted him and loved him and now we've been robbed of playing with each other in merge. we had so many plans for us too we wanted to pretend to not be that close and purposefully vote opposite and stuff. it's all ruined.

I think raffy deserves praise in FINDING the idol. but the idol itself is a get out of jail free card and requires no strategy when used like that so asjhasjhashjashj and only used in his 2nd tribal. so I'm glad it didn't last any longer and also that he didn't use it in the way survivor players usually do. by making everyone fear them sahjsajh COS THAT WOULD HAVE WORKED ON ME LIKE A CHARM. but instead we were able to flush it and even tho I've lost benj and I'm sad about it, I am very thankful that we got it flushed now and before merge. it's way more dangerous in merge. and like there was no way we could beat that. unless we split vote I guess but that wasn't possible. and also I just did not remember this was a thing BECAUSE NO ONE IN SURVIVOR HISTORY HAS USED A SUPERIDOL THE WAY IT WAS DESIGNED BECAUSE USING IT WOULD CAUSE MORE TROUBLES FOR THE HOLDER SO THEY ARE VERY STRATEGIC ABOUT IT JSAHHJASAHS so I'm actually excited to see how this carries raffy. would like to clarify I'm not anti raffy he's so nice and fun and this was such an exciting tribal thanks to him and I would have loveeeeed it as a viewer I'm just bitter because benj is gone and super idols suck. HASJHASJHASJH raffy if you read this do know I think you're great and congratulations I just think it was an easy way out WHICH IT WAS.

I guess it just made me feel powerless because there's nothing we could have done here to beat a superidol. and even if we did do Blake instead, it wouldn't change anything.

speaking of Blake he is really upset :(( I think making merge will cheer him up tho which is great because I think it's happening after this reward challenge for tickets

SPEAKING OF TICKETS

BENJ GAVE ME ALL HIS TICKETS AFTER DYING???????? AND IDK WHY LIKE do all the eliminated people get to give tickets to someone? and can it be anyone and not just someone on their tribe? much to think about. but this means I have 8 now which is pretty good I think. thank you benj I love u sm <3

it makes me wanna calculate how many tickets everyone had and who they would have given them to....hmmmm will think about it. benj has been the one who had the most upon leaving I think?

also my tarot was right because it gave raffy the tower and benj the hanged man and it all happened today AHHHH it's so sad how I predict things but don't know what it's predicting until it happens. makes me wanna reevaluate everything and see what it all could mean. could be handy.

I trust Chris the most here and I do trust Ricky I just hope they trust me. I do think we're gonna merge soon tho I really do. it makes sense.

I wonder if the tickets are for an auction or if they are the way to enter the outhouse yourself now. like the new idol system? maybe.

I'm excited to merge and get to talk to everyone and be with jinx and captain AND TALK TO JUDE MORE. YEEEE I just wish benj would have been able to join me :(((

stupid showy superidol

IT'S MY DAY 100 OF TUMBLR SURVIVOR OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD ITS ALSO MY 5 YEAR ORG ANNIVERSARY, PLEASE DON'T VOTE ME OUT THIS ROUND.

---

A true strategist's dream is a chessboard, and if we being honest, this is just Social Chess, never view anyone as a chess piece, but they're needed for movement. I'm going to be Jinx's favorite chess piece, because they need me too.

I can no longer trust Chris in this game. He chose his side, and he chose against me. If someone can fuck you over once then they can choose to do it again. I am not able to hold it against Mikki because I did not even try to reach out to her for the whole round. So, fair enough. However, Chris just decided that I needed to go because people thought I had an idol. I guess this is the outcome. He never even promised to rebuild the bridge of trust. He just gave me "I just don't want us to lose." He's 100% targeting me again if we go to tribal. I hope I'm sent to the Outhouse as my ass is grass if I remain in this place. Maybe if I have Blake it'll be fine. Right? 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Uo5w98Zm_5ih0fql6dxLjbnYelD7Mn5B_JhZxL18bkY/edit?usp=sharing

HERE is my spreadsheet with trust rankings and dm counts and stuff, I also added notes on all my trust rankings for each round and some of the dm counts so if you look carefully you'll see the black like corner thing that indicates a note and all my comments on that trust ranking or whatever will pop up if you hover shajhjsahjas hopefully that works

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO super duper califragilistically excited to do this reward challenge and hopefully avoid the Double council that I know is coming because I’m pretty sure Autumn is sick of Tua winning which is a weird sentence to type but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The plan really backfired heavy on us....I thought Raffy just had a half idol but nope, he had a SUPER IDOL and we lost Benj. It made for an awkward post tribal, but I'm just going to keep my head up. I am usually good with damage control so lets see what happens boom boom

---

Honestly, I liked this idea but I feel like I'm gonna be crippled by the fact that I am getting a little sick, we'll see though. I think I did okay with my damage control, but truth told, I would not blame Raffy or Blake if they wanted me out now. With Ricky back in the picture, I guess there is hope, but I have learned to not give peeps the FULL benefit of the doubt outright so I am going to sit and wait

---

I had another disaster and I pray that the one I could semi finish can be taken in, if it is, then I think I've got 4 tickets, but if not then I will forever be sad about what happened!

---

How in God's name didn’t I get 11 tickets?? I didn't even know I had more than 2

This twist is legit the worst thing to happen to me. I have no clue who I am going into tribal with. I don't have prior connections that other may have before the game. And my super idol play was super flashy. So, obviously, they would want to come for me as a prime target. I feel so defeated and I haven't even met these people yet. AND I have to go to work tomorrow so I can't even socialize/communicate as much as I would want in order to keep myself safe. I might as well be one foot in the grave at this point.

Ahhhhh I just made the merge!  Also with my pals too? Omg I hope Ricky lives at the vote. I hear Joey has been messy messy but also wants Captain?? We'll see how that goes, especially with Lily C and O Railroad there. I'm just excited for the next step in the game! I also missed Jinx and Jude so much!

Well….well….well. This is not what I anticipated. Good one, Autumn. I had a fantastic call with Jinx earlier today which helped me get a better handle and the game and feel more connected. I believe Raffy and Blake are working together and this is a great opportunity to separate them. Instantly Joey and I agree to call and figure out a plan. We both agree it’s gonna be best to get Ricky on our side. We both talk to Ricky and I suggest to Ricky that we go for Blake and he is down. Such a relief. It’s stressful to be this close to merge and think that it could slip away. I hope Joey lily o and I are on the same page no matter what. I haven’t been able to talk to her yet but I hope she is good to go for Blake. Fingers crossed.

I'LL MAKE VIDEO CONFESSIONALS WHEN ITS MERGE I SWEAR. But this is a really unique twist, I love it, but it also puts me and the Lily sandwich in a precarious position. Immediately, my thought was "go to Ricky and tell them I let them out of the War Room on Night 1", and boom, immediate bonding point, it turns out wonderfully, in talking to Ricky it was quite obvious they felt on the outs, with no power all season(they're either lying or its true, hey you never know), and for me its important to just keep them comfortable. We're voting out Blake for literally one reason: If we don't, Jinx is gonna kill us, cause yanno they're winning this game, its a foregone conclusion at this point.

---

God it's going to be brutal, imagine being Blake, not particularly well liked, and always going premerge. Maybe next time you'll finally make merge/jury, but nah you're not taking away my opportunities to shine.

---

Even at midnight on a Friday before merge, I still feel nervous, I always feel nervous, even if I'm in an incredible position, being a crucial swing in a pivotal vote to set the pace for the merge, it's absolutely crucial that I make sure Ricky is good with us 3, once again the 2 votes I've been in, I've been a key decision maker, making dreams come true, and making nightmares real too for others. Its a pretty delusional take that I'm seen as a valuable number, and that's what I need to be, the number to make moves possible, while also having the agency to play my cards right in the middle.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WON FOUR TICKETS IN THE AWARD CHALLENGE!!!!! I wasn't expecting that at all and I'm so delighted. AND THEN it turned out you needed 11 tickets to make it to merge and be immune from the last premiere vote and I had 15!!!! because of winning that and because of benj giving me four tickets when he was voted out. AND NOW IM FINALLY WITH JINX AND CAPTAIN AND JUDE AND AHHHHHH IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHHHHHHH ME AND JINX WERE JUST SCREAMING RIGHT AWAY AND I KNOW JINX AND CHRIS HAVE AN IDOL BETWEEN THEM COS THEY EACH FOUND HALF WOOOOOOO I FINALLY GET TO PLAY WITH THEM I CAN'T TELL YOU ENOUGH HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME. but then I was chosen to go to the outhouse so I didn't get to talk for long and still haven't gotten to talk to captain properly or Jude so :(( and I found nothing in the outhouse but this isn't a complete loss. if captain didn't look there then I know Ricky has something and I can use this info and if captain did find whatever is in there then WOOO!!! and also I can potentially use the fear of me having something if I must and that opens up many fun opportunities. nevertheless this experience in the outhouse has given me knowledge and in survivor knowledge is a currency, and I'm gonna buy as much as I can with it. I DO REALLY HOPE I GET A CHANCE TO FAKE SOME KIND OF ADVANTAGE THO THAT WOULD BE SO FUN AND I DEFS HAVE THE MEANS TO DO IT ASHJASHJASHJ but I need a reason to you know asjhashjashjashj any who that's all I have to share for today but I MADE MERGE IN MY FIRST SURVIVOR GAME I CAN'T BELIEVE IT I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE IT I'M SHOCKED AHHHHHHHH now I get to play with people I love and meet new people and YEEEEE happy dance, I've exceeded my expectations so I'm just happy here on out. I hope I can do some fun things and game planning with jinx, captain and Chris now plssss

I can't believe I was literally half a point away from the ticket requirement. If I had just been a tiny bit higher, I would've made immunity and had the tickets to be safe. It's kinda on me though, I forgot the "pop culture" part of the post and only verified that when it was literally the last day of the challenge (one where I had work no less, so it's a miracle I was even able to submit). But anyway, the vote isnt gonna be the end of the world. The post-swap Tua tribe is sticking together, and we seem to be getting Ricky on our side for an easy Blake vote. First thing that was suggested to me so I'm totally okay with doing that because it's just easy. I just hope that if the other side looks anywhere its not at me

This game literally feels like a Jane Elliott experiment half the time, and it does kinda bother me, maybe I'm just so used to my privilege that its about time it gets switched up on me

https://youtu.be/kmd-HiEeofg

https://photos.app.goo.gl/j8YwvF9eCukGiMQx5

Guys, gals, non binary pals, I think I have done it. Merge, no votes cast against me, being a crucial piece to how plans come together. God, that was the easiest premerge of my life.

---

Friend of mine wanted to know about Tumblr Survivor. So we’re talking and she asks me what the hardest situation you’ve been in is and I said “ You’ve clearly never been in a 6 person group with you running a 3-3 split and you need a flip to basically guarantee your merge/jury spot

And you basically have all your friends breathing down your neck if you don't execute the right person, it's like cutting the wrong wire in a bomb scenario”

I think I made bonds very quickly and will just narrowly avoid getting voted out. However, Blake seems to be getting the votes which I do not want to do. But I fear that if I push Ricky to Joey and the Lily's then they will just vote for me. Ugh. This sucks. If I vote with Blake, then the best we could do is tie. However, that puts me in a rough spot at merge because I would have 3 people mad at me. This is a really tough vote to be a part of. I probably won't even know who I am voting for until the last minute. 

https://youtu.be/ewiPRjyvOzk

https://youtu.be/-iPG5SyOCOk blake this is your tape ITS NOT MEAN

[anythingbutdead]

TUA EP6

(My body turned itself off and now I’m back. Thanks fuck no dream.)

Wars are hell on Earth.

Hehehe

???????

Oh yeah the younger one works as clerk and older one works st tubes and the present one is talking to Five. I mean the hairstyle are similar. Or I just think too much.

That creepy straight white man smile. Nope.

Oh hey Vanya.

Oh Hazel.

Poor Luther. This is not what a father should do.

......

Oh Klaus.

Ah Vanya.

Wars are hell on Earth.

Mother and son. He is still her baby boy.

Weep they really did that.

Oh yeah Five. Rookie mistake.

Also rookie mistake.

What. So you planned this yeah.

So close, Klaus. So close.

[miranimeaeclipse]

Céard é an scéal! That means what’s up in Irish. So I gave you guys an extra day or two to respond to the Pogo and Reggie post because I didn’t have that many responses.

I got 4 responses now, it’s not much but it’s enough for me!😁

So we got some mixed views here:

25% said Nah, let’s stick with the Hargreeves and Umbrella Academy

50% said Hell yeah! Let’s see more of past pogo!

And 25% said they want to see pogo interacting with the Hargreeves as children and they think he was closer to Five and Vanya in the past. They also said they don’t care about baby pogo and ‘fuck pogo’😂

Honestly, I changed my mind, I gotta agree with the last person. I really don’t care about Reginald and Pogos past now that I think about it. I’m actually more curious about the Hargreeves past than Pogos. Sorry Pogo but FUCK YOU!

Don’t give me that look and don’t shake your head at me, you know it was coming!

That random guy: HEY! I paid $300 for this! Get to the question already!

Alright alright, damn. Don’t get your panties in a twist

That random guy: I DONT-

ANYWAY, we’re moving onto our next thing which is the Luther question that took me a while to come up with. I’m kind of running out of stuff for Luther so I hope I don’t have to do him for a while😅

But here it is:

If you could teleport yourself into TUA, what would you say to Luther?

If I’m being honest, I’d say “Luther! One, no one gives a shit if you are number 1! Ok, Reginald is dead, your number doesn’t mean shit, get over yourself! Two, can you PLEASE stop being Reginalds ass-kisser? It’s getting really annoying and it’s honestly pathetic, you need to get a life bro”

I know it’s brutal but someone had to say it.

The video below is your next theme and let me tell you, it took a couple tries to choose a damn theme because THE WHEEL IS A DICK! Anyway, I had to upload it on to YouTube in order to post it on here because it was like a minute and some change but yeah! Just look at the video if you feel like it.

So since there is nothing else to say, this is the end of the post. Which means the end of the world as we know it, isn’t that right Vanya?

Uh huh, look at that evil smile. I know you’re up to mischief, you can’t fool me!

But in all seriousness, the post is done so all I have left to say is Dea-oíche agus brionglóidí milse. That means goodnight and sweet dreams in Irish because it’s like 9:23 where I am.

[thesportssoundoff]

A 2 AM Mock Draft

Alex and I did a mock draft! We’re going to try to do a few of these to break up the usual combat sports monotony and shake things up! Alex for those unaware is the soccer and racing guru who pops in here from time to time (the Soundoff was HIS idea, I just maintain the place). He’s in italics with his picks and I’m plain jane. Because of course I am. 

Cincinnati Bengals select QB Joe Burrow, LSU

"and say hello to joe burrow and his heisman. they need a franchise quarterback and he made a ridiculous leap this year in terms of sats and ability. 55 touchdowns and 6 picks will get you the top pick any year."

Washington Redskins select DE Chase Young, Ohio State University If you're drafting top 5, you have a duty and an obligation to draft one of the following four spots; a QB, a DE, an OL or a CB. The Redskins have their QB and so the easiest spot to follow up with is the stud defensive end with Chase Young. He'll combine with the likes of Montez Sweat to give Ron Rivera an immediate pass rushing boost.

Detroit Lions select CB Jeffrey Okudah, Ohio State University "- Hey, hey! I got the Lions. I also get the unfortunate news of declaring that they suck and short of drafting a new GM and organization, they're going to be putrid for years. Darius Slay is a terrific cornerback, but Detroit's secondary couldn't cover a stripper's asscrack. They need an upgrade in the worst way, and they get in when they draft JEFF OKUDAH from Ohio State."

New York Giants select WR Jerry Jeudy, University of Alabama The Giants could certainly use a pass rusher here to cover up their lack of edge help but this needs to be about a young quarterback getting all the weapons possible. Jerry Jeudy is a tremendous big play WR who when put together with a slot ace like Golden Tate, a big TE with Evan Engram and top 5 RB Saquon Barkley creates all of the weaponry possible for a young QB in need of help. The Giants also have a lot of money tied up in their OL which means OT Jedrick Willis isn't a fit here either.

Miami Dolphins select QB Tua #5 - Miami Dolphins "- Lets get interesting now. He's a generational talent, hip injury be damned. In 2019, TUA TAGOVAILOA completed 71 percent of his passes, had almost 3,000 yards and 33 touchdowns to 3 interceptions. He's 6 foot 2 inches tall, has genuine size and presence and is consistently looking downfield. Tua is patient, goes through his progressions, accurate and can make every throw. If he's healthy? He should have been first. Now? He'll sit behind Fitzmagic for a year, heal, learn the system and start for the Dolphins in 2021."

San Diego Chargers select QB Justin Herbert, University of Oregon There's a mountain of DL and OL help available for the Chargers but you're picking 6th overall. You don't finish top 10 with QB play and Rivers is clearly on the back nine of his career. Is Herbert perfect? Far from it. That said you're moving into a new stadium, you're in a division where your two main competitors are embracing young fresh QBs and you have the weapons on offense and defense to be able to help a young QB right away. Get to the dance a year early vs a year late and protect your future with Justin Herbert.

Carolina Panthers select DL Derrick Brown, University of Auburn #7 - Carolina Panthers : Derrick Brown, DE, Auburn "- I'm surprised he lasted this long as he had the talent to go Top 5. 6'3 with a great motor and a tons of upside, he could be used as a DT and be a tremendous great interior disruptor if he continues to develop. He has a little bit of Simeon Rice to him and I love him to the Panthers to help shore up that Defensive Line and add some nastiness to their defense beyond their Linebacker core."

Arizona Cardinals select OT Andrew Thomas, University of Georgia There's going to be a ton of interest in one of these awesome WRs but Kyler Murray needs to be kept upright to prosper even more than he has so far. Thomas gives him a buddy cop left tackle who will help him. Protect your investments.

Jacksonville Jaguars select Isaiah Simmons, S/LB, Clemson "- Look, the Linebacking corps is shot with Telvin Smith deciding not to play football and the ghost of Myles Jack's career roaming the sidelines. They need MAJOR help. Simmons is a sideline to sideline defender who hits hard, covers a lot of ground, can play man coverage and cover a running back out of the backfield. Simmons has even matched up with slot receivers this years. His best fit is going to be as a Will linebacker in the NFL, but he's going to be an asset. Think Minkah Fitzpatrick."

Cleveland Browns select OT Jedrick Wills, University of Alabama Cleveland got the QB, the RBs, the star WRs, the pass catching TEs and.....well they forgot the OL. Cam Robinson was a disaster, their interior OL is a mess and despite having a great OL coach, they couldnt protect Mayfield enough to prevent him from seeing metaphorical ghosts. A regime change is going to help but a real change in what the talent level needs to be up front is the biggest hurdle that needs clearing. Jedrick Wills is a blessing at this point in the draft and can play either tackle spot. Again protect your investments.

New York Jets select WR CeeDee Lamb, University of Oklahoma "- Jets need weapons in a bad way and need someone on that team to give him help besides Robbie Anderson. Enter CeeDee Lamb. In a loaded WR class, he is just behind Jerry Jeudy at the top of the heap. He has great hands, is a sharp route runner and is the most polished receiver in the draft class. I'd argue he has better body control than Jeudy, and his RAC ability is elite. The only drawback is his speed. While he is not overly fast though, polished footwork and craftwork allows him to create seperation against DBs."

Oakland Raiders select WR Henry Ruggs, University of Alabama I bet that the Raiders will absolutely positively have conversation about trading up in the draft to grab a QB, using their gamut of picks to play around with getting a Herbert or a Tua. I even considered Jordan Love here or a Javon Kinlaw. In the end, I wonder if the Raiders feel as though no matter who is throwing the ball, they simply can't win on the outside with Tyrell Williams as the lead dog WR. They DID make the move for Antonio Brown which of course backfired. A pure speed stud like Ruggs could open things up for Gruden's offense which already boasts a solid TE and RB combo.

Indianapolis Colts select WR Laviska Shenault, University of Colorado "- Colts have no play-makers beside Hilton and occassionally Mack. Shenault is a stud receiver, who had a down year this year compared to the remarkable 2018 where he brought in 85 receptions on a BAD Colorado team. In short, Shenault made Steven Montez look good. Great speed, physical runner, and has great potential after the catch."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers select FS Grant Delpit, LSU There's a lot of options for Tampa Bay but no perfect fits. Todd Bowles' defense would probably love to have a guy like Delpit who exists to make plays on the ball and basically is your dream free safety or a defensive tackle like a Neville Gallimore or an edge like AJ Epenesa. With all options at their disposal, I think Grant Delpit is cleanest fit. Also of course QB Jordan Love is around too if you want to get nuts.

Denver Broncos select CB Treveon Diggs, University of Alabama "Need a corner to shut down a side of the field. Brings added value as a punt and kick returner. Has excellent speed and athleticism. Broken foot in 2018 that raised some concern, but a solid 2019 saw a return to form."

Atlanta Falcons select DT Javon Kinlaw, University of South Carolina With Grady Jarrett as the star 3-tech for a Seattle Seahawks-y Cover 3 scheme, a 1 technique who can wreak some havoc and take some pressure off of Jarrett, Tak McKinley and a genuinely bad awful secondary would be a big help for Dan Quinn as he fights for his job. Kinlaw is the sort of big bodied with athleticism type of interior presence that Seattle offshoots have needed.

Dallas Cowboys select DE Yetur Gross-Matos,  Penn State University "-Taco Charlton is a bust, Robert Quinn isnt a long-term solution, but Demarcus Lawrence gets a running mate. 40 tackles last year with 9.5 sacks after a breakout Sophmore season where he had 8 sacks and 54 tackles. Strong, physical, gets upfield, burgeoning pass rusher and a great run defender. Cowboys get a good one."

Miami Dolphins select DE AJ Epenesa, University of Iowa If you look at the sort of DEs who succeed in a Brian Flores style system, it's guys like AJ Epenesa. Talking big bodied guys who have enough bend to be versatile edge rushers with the size, strength and toughness to win on the interior if need be. Epenesa would be the ultimate chess piece defensive linemen who would give the Dolphins a serious boost upfront and would add culture, grit and skill to a defensive line currently anchored by Charles Harris and Taco Charlton.

Oakland Raiders: selectJordan Love, QB, Utah State "- Lets get fucking weird. Marijuana suspension aside, the Carr experiment is over. Jordan Love is a guy that Gruden would love, with the intangibles, the arm and the ability to make plays. Gruden fell in love with his skillset doppleganger in Josh Allen and this time around, won't let his guy slip. Gruden gets his QB for better or worse."

Jacksonville Jaguars select OT Tristan Wirfs, University of Iowa Wirfs falling this far feels like a stretch BUT he's here and Jacksonville gets to take him! A rock solid all around tackle prospect who will probably not be the same level athlete as Willis or Thomas, Wirfs is your immediate starter at either tackle spot for Jacksonville that's probably full bore into Minshew Mania next year.

Philadelphia Eagles select WR Justin Jefferson, LSU "Alshon Jeffery cant stay healthy, DeSean Jackson is old and Justin Jefferson has a sure set of hands, size, and height. A new number one is needed, and Wentz (if he stay healthy, which I don't believe he can), gets another target."

Buffalo Bills select WR Tee Higgins, University of Clemson To the credit of the Bills, they've built a nice little offense with a lot of smaller quicker pieces like John Brown, Cole Beasley, Isaiah McKenzie and Devin Singletary. It feels like it's time to add some size to the outside as Josh Allen has a big arm and could probably make some magic with a good jump ball WR. Enter Tee Higgins who is acing things as a big bodied clutch target for Clemson.

Patriots select TE Albert Okwuegbunam, University of Missouri "- They havent had a relevant TE since Gronk retired and need someone able to run block as well as haul them in. Gifted. Nice hands, athletic. Fits that system perfect."

New Orleans Saints select CB Kristian Fulton, LSU Somehow Fulton fell to this spot? Okay then. Marshon Lattimore is a stud but the Saints have been trumpeting out dudes like Eli Apple, PJ Williams and Janoris Jenkins opposite him. Fulton fits the size, build, length and playmaking mold of what the Saints want on the outside and when you combine him and Lattimore? There's shutdown duo potential here.

Tennessee Titans select Jaelen Reagor, WR, TCU "Speed demon, and someone to go along with Brown as an actual threat to take the pressure off of Derrick Henry. Big play threat who can take the top off a defense. Grades out similarly to a Will Fuller or Hollywood Brown."

Minnesota Vikings select CB Paulson Adebo, University of Stanford Trae Waynes may be out of Minnesota and the Vikings secondary has struggled to figure out if Xavier Rhodes is in the midst of a brief slump or a full blown decline. Paulson Adebo is solid DB depth; a long lengthy corner who can play press man or off in zone. He can make plays on the ball too and tackles really well so he fits everything Mike Zimmer is going to want in a DB.

Miami Dolphins select RB Johnathan Taylor, University of Wisconsin "Nox hates this pick, because he hates nice things, but the Dolphins need a running back. Like they're leading rusher this year was Ryan Fitzpatrick. Seriously. I'm not even lying. He lead them with 430 yards. Jonathan Taylor will give them a strong, physical back who can carry 20 times a game, eat some carries, get some yards while giving Tua a soft-spot to land in 2021 alongside Devante Parker. See? Thats thinking long-term."

Seattle Seahawks select CB CJ Henderson, University of Florida It's Seattle. They're going to take DEs and DBs in the first round. CJ Henderson is another Cover 3 corner with length, size and the requisite toughness. A bit has been made of a few subpar tackling efforts but I think that's somewhat overstated. Pete Carroll gets another fit for the secondary.

Kansas City Chiefs select Raekwon Davis, DE, Bama "Dominant inside lineman and wouldn't hurt to shore up that defensive line and add depth to a shaky defensive core that needs to get younger."

Green Bay Packers select CB Bryce Hall, University of Virginia The Packers could maybe use another TE to pair up with Jace Sternberger, they could maybe use another WR who could help take some pressure off of Devante Adams, they could maybe use OL help or another DL but I like the idea of Bryce Hall as a potential Kevin King replacement should he not get re-signed after next season. This is now my third straight DB pick but I feel like there's a lot of superb secondary names in this class.

San Francisco 49ers select OT Trey Adams, Washington "Niners grab an understudy for Joe Staley, start him as a guard then move him outside. Standout LT in the Pac 21, kept both Jake Browning and then Jacob Eason upright. Smooth lineman with length and size. Uses his leverage to sustain block. Quick feet and athletic on the edge. Stays healthy? He's a franchise left tackle."

Baltimore Ravens select LB Kenneth Murray, University of Oklahoma Well II mean I know I forgot this guy existed actually. Murray in Baltimore where he can be a somewhat undersized-ish 3-4 ILB who plays at pretty much the speed of light would be a tremendous selection. Good coaches find ways to use elite players and that;s what Murray is and that's how Murray SHOULD be used.

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 11

I typed “Bama LSU” into tumblr’s gif search and this was the only result. I take it as a representation of my flawless technique as a writer.

Let’s see if I have the heart or interest to write anything worthwhile below. I’ve probably already done the best work possible in this world. FBSchedules and Vegas Insider are supporting this post materially, unwitting yet they be.

Saturday, November 9

Matchup                                          Time (ET)                     TV/Mobile

Vanderbilt at 10 Florida                  12:00pm                         ESPN

This doesn’t belong on television. This is not the kind of thing people should waste their lives on and I mean that for the players and coaches.

4 Penn State at 17 Minnesota         12:00pm                         ABC

Gophers +6.5 is an absolutely sure thing. It’s either that or there is no god. You can only choose one.

WKU at Arkansas                             12:00pm                       SECN

Have you guys followed the whole Deadspin saga from the last few weeks? My favorite part was that Maidment guy that set the whole cycle in motion and then had to write a bunch of shitty content himself to make the site look sort of normal after everybody quit. I laughed heartily at his horrible writing but I can’t help feeling I’m that kind of brainless dummy clacking away at a company laptop to produce as little impact as possible with my unoriginal words. Anyway, enjoy this version of the Petrino Bowl.

UMass at Army                                  12:00pm                       CBSSN

Army is favored by 34.5. Army is fucking awful. It’s insane that UMass has a win over an FBS team this season. Once you get blown out by UConn, people forget all about your big win over Akron. Anyway, take UMass to cover because, as many are saying, Army is fucking awful.

Purdue at Northwestern                    12:00pm                       BTN

As today’s contemporary children are quite fond of saying, it’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.

Texas Tech at West Virginia              12:00pm                      ESPN2

Long gone are the days of Holgo and... the guy that coaches the Cardinals now. They both used shitty seasons to get better money this year. So now Texas Tech vs. West Virginia is just bland gruel hardly fit for a shithead on his couch.

Maryland at 1 Ohio State                   12:00pm                       FOX

We’re into the BCS rankings part of the season so now Ohio State is ranked #1, which I mostly agree with. I still hope they lose way more often than not but I’m sort of ambivalent here. Last year Maryland fucked up and blew a great chance to upset Ohio State and I watched it with friends who are not football degenerates a day or two after our friend’s funeral. On that note, Ohio State -44 is a strong recommend.

Florida State at Boston College        12:00pm                      ACCN

A week ago I would not have guessed FSU could fuck themselves so thoroughly against Miami that they’d be playing with an interim head coach this week. The rumor mill for the permanent hire in Tallahassee is hilarious: Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops, Jim Leavitt and Deion Sanders. The nicest thing I saw about Deion’s resume was that he was the OC for a high school in Texas a few years ago. I don’t think that was his sham unaccredited school. That school was in Florida, wasn’t it? That’s quite the resume to put up against the other four. Coach Deion is a dream we can all have.

East Carolina at 25 SMU                     12:00pm                     ESPNU

Condolences to SMU as Memphis didn’t continually shoot themselves in the dick like they normally do in high profile games. This should be a good bounceback game but the action on the line (moving 3 points towards ECU) tells me people didn’t really think that much of SMU in the first place.

12 Baylor at TCU                                  12:00pm                        FS1

I honestly don’t have any sort of read on whether Baylor’s 8-0 record is because they’re back to being good or if they’ve just feasted on mostly shitty teams. Which I guess is all they ever did under Briles, anyway. Well, TCU sucks this year so I’m not really excited to check in on this one unless there’s an exciting finish like TCU is driving with under a minute to score their 10th TD of the day before time expires to seal the shutout.

Georgia Tech at Virginia                       12:30pm                       RSN

For as long as I live, I will only ever think of the 1990 game between these two whenever they match up.

Air Force at New Mexico                    Postponed

This game is postponed due to the death of UNM defensive end, Nahje Flowers. R.I.P.

UTSA at Old Dominion                          2:00pm                        ESPN3

South Alabama at Texas State              3:00pm                        ESPN3

Charlotte at UTEP                                   3:00pm                       ESPN+

Stanford at Colorado                              3:00pm                     Pac-12N

19 Wake Forest at Virginia Tech            3:30pm                       ACCN

If VPISU hadn’t fucked it at the end against Notre Dame last week they’d probably be ranked ahead of Wake Forest. After Wake Forest loses this week, the boys from VPI might actually jump over them, anyway.

USC at Arizona State                               3:30pm                        ABC

Now this is more like it! I don’t mean this game is interesting for watchin’ ‘em up or gambling, but the part where both teams are unranked and struggling. USC just hired a new AD from Cincinnati and he... knows Urban Meyer? Or the draw of being from UC will be just too much for Urban to resist? Or Urban picked the guy himself as a condition of considering coaching in the Coliseum? Still seems less than done to me but I’m still holding out hope that Urban Meyer never coaches again and his family leaves him.

Louisville at Miami (FL)                            3:30pm                      ESPN2

Still fading The U for now. The 9 sacks and the easy win over FSU were nice but FSU hasn’t had a good offensive line since Jameis Winston won the Heisman and things are in a bit of disarray there. Louisville is a better team than most people realize and they’ll run straight at Miami instead of whatever the FSU gameplan was last week. Things may have turned a corner in Coral Gables but I’m inclined to believe the biggest leap they made last week was beating up on a familiar foe who is very down in the dumps and ready to quit at a moment’s notice.

UAB at Southern Miss                               3:30pm                       NFLN

UAB failed us big time last week and now they’re a road underdog. I didn’t realize the Favres had crawled back to being decent. I don’t have a take on the line but this is probably the best game that’s been stuck on NFL Network so far this year.

Georgia Southern at Troy                          3:30pm                      ESPN+

Each year I struggle to remember which one is Georgia Southern and which one is Georgia State and each year I fail to attempt to fix that.

UConn at 20 Cincinnati                              3:30pm                    CBSSN

UC on UC - it’s gonna be a bloodbath! The Ohesians are only favored by 34 against the sad huskies. That seems like a slap in the face to any reasonably well prepared football program, let alone a top 25 one.

Illinois at Michigan State                            3:30pm                       FS1

Illinois is a half game up on Sparty right now and rumors are flying that D’antonio is gonna retire after the season. Now, let’s go kill Tom Izzo. Michigan State is favored by 14.5 in this game and, seriously, can they even score that much in one game? Take the Illini and know that you’re on the side of good even if your bets don’t come through.

2 LSU at 3 Alabama                                     3:30pm                     CBS

Weeks of press for this GAME OF THE CENTURY OF THIS YEAR THIS WEEK and then the BCS poll comes out and it isn’t even a real 1 v. 2 matchup. That’s funny. I keep waiting for something to go wildly wrong with LSU but also feel like Bama being favored by a touchdown seems off, especially if Tua is at less than full operational capacity.

16 Kansas State at Texas                            3:30pm                   ESPN

I’ve thought Texas was overrated all year and look at them now. Favored by 7 at home against a better team. Even unrated Texas is somehow still overrated.

18 Iowa at 13 Wisconsin                              4:00pm                    FOX

This has all the makings of a great all-time eyerake. Wisconsin -9 seems absolutely insane but so does Wisconsin #13.

New Mexico State at Mississippi                4:00pm                   SECN

A classic rivalry game.

North Texas at Louisiana Tech                    4:00pm              Facebook

A spirited game between the 096ers and the Karl Malone Got His 13-Year Old Cousin Pregnant While He Was In School Heres always gets the blood pumping.

Georgia State at ULM                                    5:00pm               ESPN+

ESPN+ games don’t count as watch ‘em ups. Does anybody in the comments actually pay for this shit? It seems insane. $8/month for access to 30 For 30 that you effectively already have and the + is the absolute worst filth college sports can throw at you.

FIU at Florida Atlantic                                   6:00pm              Stadium

Really have no idea what to tell you. I think I understand both of these teams and then I’m proven wrong week after week. I’m rooting for FIU if that helps.

Appalachian State at South Carolina           7:00pm             ESPN2

South Carolina is favored by 5.5. That’s more than the homefield bump. Does App State run the same offense as Georgia where the QB isn’t allowed to throw past the line of scrimmage and running backs are encouraged to run straight into the backs of their offensive linemen?

Missouri at 6 Georgia                                     7:00pm              ESPN

Hey, speaking of Georgia! They don’t get nearly enough credit for being the worst team in America to watch for entertainment purposes. It’s like Kirby Smart is trying to take all of the late career criticism that Mark Richt faced at UGA and The U and reach the same end point by the time he’s coached four season in Athens.

Utah State at Fresno State                             7:00pm            CBSSN

Jordan Love. I just don’t know. He’s like a more careless version of Josh Allen. Is somebody really going to draft that in the first round? He has a year of eligibility left. I don’t know if he’s due to graduate in time but if he could find his way to Missouri that might really benefit both parties.

Washington State at California                       7:00pm           Pac-12N

A fine specimen of Pac-12 After Dark but only like 8% of the country can even watch it legally.

15 Notre Dame at Duke                                    7:30pm            ACCN

On a positive note, whatever happens in this game we can all laugh at the losers.

Liberty at BYU                                                   7:30pm          ESPNU

Bergie’s Watch ‘Em Of The Year!

Tennessee at Kentucky                                    7:30pm           SECN

Let’s go whiskey!

5 Clemson at NC State                                      7:30pm            ABC

Clemson is outside looking in at the CFP! Panic! They’ll be #3 next week!

Iowa State at 9 Oklahoma                                 8:00pm           FOX

In the parlance of our times, Iowa State is a messy bitch who loves drama. Will the Sooners get bailed out if things are tight at the end? Absolutely. But I would still put a dime or even a quarter on the Cyclones to keep it closer than 14.5.

Wyoming at 22 Boise State                              10:15pm          ESPN

I think if I surveyed the commenterate here they mostly hate Boise State and that tells me you’re a bunch of idiots. A nothing program rising like they did without a Phil Knight or an oil magnate backing them and they play their home games at night on blue turf? How do you joyless pricks live with your humorless brains? I fucking love MWC football and I love the blue turf. This is a great game. Long live the Potatoes.

 Nevada at San Diego State                               10:30pm         ESPN2

The real late night games are all MWC this week and that is fucking beautiful. Just look at this. SDSU was ranked last week but then we switched over to CFP rankings and those pricks couldn’t just give us one more group of five school. Nuhvaddduh is OK this year and SDSU isn’t quite rolling up the rushing yards they have for the past five years so maybe this will be entertaining even beyond the pretty laundry?

San Jose State at Hawaii                                 11:00pm    Spectrum Sports

I don’t actually know what Spectrum Sports is now that I think about it. This is, on paper, a pretty even matchup. If you want to keep yourself occupied into the early morning hours, SJSU at +7 seems a decent value in these here puffy, darkened eyes.

[in-tua-deep]

You are the uncontested queen of tua aus please tell me abt the siblings finding klaus and him getting sober in the responsible Luther au

asdfsDFSG what’s the gender neutral word for king and queen?? i said regent to my sister but apparently that’s when someone is just holding place for like,, if the heir is a minor or something but monarch just doesn’t have the same ring to it smh

honestly Luther probably disapproves greatly when Five absolutely insists on having Klaus in the house because if he’s not in the house then he’s on the strEETS LUTHER

(and look, this is a Five who survived however long in the apocalypse before popping back - he knows better than anybody the difficulty of surviving wandering the streets with no one there to help you)

and Five has a room that he’s not even using because he’s way too freaked out to sleep alone (and every time he tries to sleep alone he wakes up alone and thinks that coming back was all a dream, that he’s still in the apocalypse and that he’s cracked and his siblings are dead and he’s a failure and it’s just bad so yeah Luther definitely doesn’t mind sharing his bed if that means he doesn’t have to spend an hour trying to convince Five that he isn’t the vengeful dead come to punish him) so it makes sense to give it to Klaus, right?

Luther’s convinced that Klaus is going to rob them blind and vanish back onto the streets again and he personally makes a rule about no drugs in the house that is pretty much ignored by Klaus who can sneak things in anyway

so what happens is this

Diego finds Klaus and hauls him up into his car with promises of breakfast or something and takes him to Luther’s place. He does not explain exactly why he is doing this, because informing the brother they all kind of bullied over the fact that he consistently failed to summon their presumed dead sibling that said sibling is, in fact, alive and also a traumatized child is kind of difficult to word

So Klaus is complaining loudly and probably also commenting on the fact that he didn’t know Diego moved out of his shitty boiler room into an actual apartment except Diego doesn’t get a key out he knocks on the door

and Luther answers it

and Klaus is very very confused as Luther just sighs deeply, like a man who was up all last night convincing a child that their dad isn’t going to pop up like the boogeyman and lock them away. “He had a rough night.” Luther tells them both, ushering them in to sit on his thrift store couch and mismatched armchair, “I’ll see if he’s ready to come out. Klaus visiting might actually help, and I can’t believe I said that.”

“I have no idea what’s going on.” Klaus informs the room as a whole, “But I am offended at the implication that I wouldn’t help whatever is going on! But also I’m still very confused and was also promised food.”

Luther just sighs again. “Just. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”

Luther leaves the room and Klaus side eyes Diego real hard. Because he was literally scooped up, bribed with the promise of food, and brought to Luther’s apartment? Last Klaus heard, Luther was still licking their dad’s boots and living at home? Klaus shares a confused look with Ben.

“What the fuck is happening?” Klaus whispers to Ben. Except, his whisper isn’t exactly quiet and Diego just shifts and ignores him. Typical.

“If he’s ready to come out? Did Luther get a boyfriend or something?” Ben asks, entirely skeptical, “Except why would Diego hunt you down for this?”

Klaus is about to respond with an equally wild theory involving possible alien abductions when there’s a blue flash of light out of the corner of Klaus’s eye and suddenly he’s being tackled off the sofa with arms flailing everywhere. His hand is about to hit whatever is attacking him when he hears Ben’s voice yell out - “Klaus, stop!”

Because he trusts Ben to know what’s best for him (mostly), Klaus freezes to actually process the entire scene, and becomes aware of the fact that whoever tackled him is… pretty small. And crying. And also surprisingly familiar?

“What the fuuuuck.” Klaus wheezes out. Ben is talking and Klaus isn’t really listening because that’s little Number Five clinging to him and actually having tackled him off the sofa meaning that he’s, you know, very much not dead and incorporeal.

Luther jogs into the room to see Klaus and Five on the floor and Diego doing exactly nothing to help. “Five, Five buddy. You gotta let Klaus up. Why don’t you guys sit on the couch together instead of on the floor.”

Five does not respond. Klaus is wide-eyed and opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish, actually speechless for the possibly the first time in his life. Luther just sighs deeply and just reaches down to scoop both up together and dump them back on the couch where Five proceeds to burrow into Klaus’s side.

“What’s with him?” Diego asks, looking a little freaked out and like he very much does not know how to handle their traumatized baby brother. Luther certainly knows the feeling. 

“He had a bad night.” Luther sighs. There’s a lot of sighing going on tonight. “He’s been hunkered down in the closet for most of today, he’s got a nest in there for when things are bad.”

“I’m right here.” Five says, muffled where he’d pressed into Klaus’s side.

“What the fuck.” Klaus repeats, again, because it seems like his alarm is being duly ignored by everyone whose name doesn’t rhyme with the number ten. “Someone better be explaining things right the fuck now, holy shit.”

And that’s where between them, mainly Luther but also Diego, they explain haltingly about Five showing up, and Luther taking him and leaving, and the future and the apocalypse and everything they know.

“Five went to the future?” Klaus asks, incredulous.

“It was shit.” Five says, wiping his nose on his sleeve and making Luther grimace and reach for the tissues.

“I have so many questions.” Ben whispers, next to them. 

and it continues with Klaus looking at Ben and asking questions and then Diego finally gets up and is like “Okay okay, it’s getting on a bit so I should be getting home.”

and that’s what prompts Five to be like, “Oh - do you need to go home as well, Klaus?”

and Klaus, being Klaus, has no filter and is like “Actually I’m what you would call uh, homeless. So, you know, on my own schedule and all that.”

and Five FLIPS because hey, he was technically homeless in the apocalypse, right?? so he absolutely puts his foot down and demands that Klaus stay with him and Luther because they have the extra bedroom they’re not even using, Luther - and Klaus is family!! And Luther is not willing to pick this fight right now so he grudgingly accepts it for now. He says they’ll revisit the conversation tomorrow.

What probably happens is that Five is antsy about leaving Klaus home alone, but Luther doesn’t want to leave Five home with only Klaus for company, either. So Luther would have to sit Klaus down and have a very frank discussion on all of Five’s triggers (anything burning, fire, restraints of any kind, straight jackets, probably buckles as well tbh, etc.) and the fact that Five is a child. If Five stays home with Klaus, Klaus has to be responsible. Which means not being high.

And I’m pretty sure Klaus actually would want to help, and Ben would want to help, so he’s willing to give getting sober a try for his babiest brother so that he doesn’t get kicked out and his visiting Five privileges revoked

Klaus probably ends up having to get sober at Diego’s place since Klaus’s bright idea involves tying him to a chair until he detoxes and Five has some Serious Issues with capital letters with restraints (thanks dad) and would probably freak out at the sight

on the bright side, Five would absolutely believe Klaus sees Ben and demand to talk to Ben from day one eagerly, and Klaus would probably let baby Five know that Ben is around and translate for him which is nice

and then when he gets sober, he figures out he can summon Ben which is even cooler

Five is a little shit who is alarmingly good at figuring out when Klaus is accurately translating Ben’s comments and speech for the general public and calls Klaus out a lot when he speaks for Ben lmao

but yeah basically Klaus gets sober because Five is a baby who brings out even Klaus’s protective instincts and also he’s fully aware that Luther only tolerates him in the house because Five insists and if he wants to continue having a roof over his head and interaction with his babiest sibling he needs to appease Number One who is in charge here

but on the bright side, Klaus at least has his siblings help this time

and also the knowledge he wasn’t the last to know

(Vanya is contacted next)

(Allison is actually the last to know because she won’t picK UP HER PHONE) 

[ts-autumns-world]

Episode 5: “We’re gonna be scamming men tonight” - Mikki

Fuck. I don't want to vote out Chris. So I'm not going to. That is all. Fuck these bitches.

I have to start off by saying how bummed I am that Chips is out. I had a feeling it would go that way and Joey did too. The odds were stacked against him on that one. I’ll miss having ya around!

I’m obviously thrilled to be safe another round. I really don’t know where anyone is at strategically and tbh I’m not really looking to find out. After the knowledge Giraffez told me before being voted out, I know Lily is weary of me. I think as soon as we either vote again or make it to merge, she would most likely launch something against me. I would love for the 4 of us to stick together. I think we are stronger together but it’s hard to tell.

I’m trying to see if Joey wants to start planning with me like who do we want to work with moving forward. I’d also love to have that conversation with Monty. That way next time we have to vote we will already have an established alliance. Literally everyone on this team are great to talk to when they are online. Genuinely seem to be here to make friends and enjoy the game. I’d love to continue playing with people like that and I know we will want to be strong when we do merge. 

If I want to step up my strategic game, now is the time.

Every now and then, I get totally drowsy when playing all these html5 games. It makes me wonder and have some lucid dreams tbh, I'll just be sitting there with Forensic Files on in the background, just zoning out, and playing Tomb Runner. I hope that my score is enough, but if we lost, I'm going to be absolutely crushed, cause I ain't going to the Outhouse. HBO Max has the aesthetic of the Hamburglar from McDonald's and that is not a good sight to see.

---

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SAFE ANOTHER ROUND!! I still feel desperate as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk but hey its always sunny in philadelphia :-)

ummm not much has happened. ive been taking some time away from discord for a few reasons so i havent been active. plus we won so i just have not really talked to anyone this past round

OMG OKAY OKAY OKAY SOOOO it sucks we lost again but me and Mikki have had a plan incase we are teaming up with Chris bc we dont feel all that close to raffy and blake and it was gonna be like awkward w them voting chris BUT THEN blake says to mikki he wants chris to stay and then says hes close w raffy too SO RAFFY AND BLAKE R PROBS VOTING ME LMFAOOO omg this is SOOO exciting if its a 3-2 vote with me getting 2 ill jump. BUT we are voting raffy cuz he might have an idol that needs flushing while if we kept him he could just use it next time to mikki needs to act like fully on board w them so that he doesnt get sus. AHHHHHH SCARY BUT EXCITING. why do i like getting votes. bad benj

I was worried we would lose knowing Ricky would be sent to Outhouse. What I didn't realize was that I'd be the only non Eener on the tribe. But Benj and Mikki assured me this round that they wanted to work with me so I felt optimistic! Then Raffy/Blake come to me respectively about how they want me to stay so now they are going to go after Benj I think but Mikki is pretending she is too? I support cannibalism today!

whew me entering top 14? 13? 12? idk pls help i can't do math my math is not mathing.

tbh winning consecutively is the double-edged swords cause on one hand, im safe and don't have to worry about a thing.. on the other hand, the whites still have numbers :/ im trying to talk to like do something in case if we go to the tribal, we can get the whites out... hopefully.

https://voca.ro/16epPhLLURgj

I continue to be the challenge queen <3 Ignore Ultimate Tic Tac Toe this ain't about her

---

I don't know if I even gave my thoughts on my new tribe yet btw but I love Jinx they're so great to be around, she's definitely my first priority outside of the monty-joey-lily alliance on who to keep. Captain and Jude are cool too tho!

And Lily C sure exists

https://photos.app.goo.gl/AfRSnrGaPUDVcJ5MA

I FUCKING HATE THE OUTHOUSE. it’s so BORING and i cant FUCKING FOGURE OUT THIS RIDDLE. what’s even worse is i have absolutely no say on what goes back on at camp, and now way to strengthen the bonds that i’ve already built with benj and mikki. i’m just hoping that chris is doing enough to keep himself in this round, because i really really don’t want to lose him. if i don’t make this merge with my tua 4 i might Lose My Mind. Praying to Autumn for this one!

BEFORE FAIRY COUNCIL: https://youtu.be/BGTQn9Z9CCo 

https://youtu.be/1iOW7SZftQk

For Benj: https://youtu.be/Y0iMuH01zMM