#five is just super traumatized

[navree]

i want everyone to know that this latest issue of gotham war legit has me mad enough that i'm like a heartbeat away from deciding to make one of my class papers (meant to be about the myths of our modern culture) entirely about the myth of the superhero and the idea of comics being "good" solely so i can waste a good chunk of the word limit fucking raging about batman

[tobiasdrake]

*deep breath* Okay. Here we go.

I don't think the Netflix Avatar show likes women very much. It's a great show for fans of Aang, Sokka, Zuko, and Iroh specifically. All four of those characters get a ton of great material. In fact, it's super great for Sokka stans, because the show takes him ultra-seriously and can't go five minutes without one character or another (usually a woman) praising him.

But the way it handles its female cast is troublesome.

Katara

So, all three of the main trio got some changes made to their stories. They changed Aang's story so that he wasn't running away from his responsibilities; He was just clearing his head and somehow accidentallied himself into a tsunami. Whoopsy-dooodle. Aang did nothing wrong.

They changed Sokka's story so that him being a leader of his people and a great guardian warrior is treated with complete seriousness. Multiple times, characters stop to talk about how brave and noble Sokka is for taking on such an intense responsibility, and tell him to his face what a great warrior and a wonderful leader he is. Also his misogyny is erased.

And they changed Katara's story so that she directly got her mom killed because she sucks at waterbending.

Katara tries to waterbend to attack the Fire Nation soldier but couldn't manage it, provoking the soldier to start actively searching for her and forcing her mom to fake a waterbending attack and draw his fire. They changed Katara's story so that her bad decision making fucking got her mom killed.

This is treated with the same level of severity as "Sokka was bullied by mean kids and also his dad doesn't think he's good enough to be a leader."

"I hoped Sokka would do better but not everyone is meant to have people's lives in their hands," Sokka's dad says of him.

Yeah, you're right, that's totally comparable to watching your mom get barbecued because you tried to waterbend in a situation you shouldn't have and then failed.

In fact, they give Sokka's greatest trauma more weight because it gets examined again with Yue next episode, while Katara actively getting her mom killed isn't brought up again at all. We get traumatized glimpses of it throughout the season leading up to the reveal, but after this scene in episode 5, it never comes up again.

But to be fair, Katara was a child. An event this significant would surely have motivated her, driving her to become the great waterbender she is now, right?

No! Katara sucks at waterbending and needs men who aren't even waterbenders to teach her how to waterbend. She requires instruction from Aang in episode 1 to learn how to waterbend, then from Jet in episode 3 to learn how to waterbend better.

And unlike the show, her relationship with Aang isn't a give-and-take; Katara doesn't teach Aang a single goddamn thing. He never learns to waterbend. She is a strictly a pupil throughout the whole season. Though she at least gets officially labeled a master in episode 8, so there's that.

In any case, the whole traumatic memory thing isn't even the only time she's directly compared with Sokka. Episodes 3 and 4 see Katara and Sokka bicker over whose morally dubious side character is better. Sokka likes the Mechanist and Katara likes Jet.

Ultimately, Katara is forced to eat crow when Jet turns out to be the worst, while Sokka is vindicated when the Mechanist sees the error of his ways and reforms. But not before two separate arguments where Sokka calls Katara childish and accuses her of acting like a little girl.

Arguments ultimately resolved when Katara apologizes to Sokka for not adequately respecting his very serious and ultra important role as village protector and leader. Gives him a whole speech about how great and glorious he is. And Sokka... appreciates Katara learning to respect him properly, I guess, because he never offers any similar sentiments back to her.

The show just... They need you to know how important Sokka is, okay? It's very important that you respect Sokka.

Suki

Suki suffers tremendously from that whole "Sokka's misogyny was removed" thing. Y'know, because they need something else to do with that episode. The show is deeply aware that Suki is Sokka's love interest, so they just do that right off the bat. Suki falls madly in love with him from the moment they meet, and spends the entire episode making goo-goo eyes and trying to get him to Notice Me Senpai.

They still do the "Suki Trains Sokka" stuff. But Sokka is a serious, dignified manly man worthy of the deepest respect now, so of course they don't make him wear the Kyoshi uniform. Instead, the main purpose of his training is to allow them to flirt some more. It's less martial arts training and more an excuse to grope each other and near-kiss.

Suki's just a waifu now. She still fights real good, but all of the stuff that made her relationship with Sokka interesting has been erased.

Yue

Yue, similarly, leaps straight to shipping from the word go. They write out her fiance, Hahn, by having Yue briefly meet Sokka earlier in the season. She spends one minute talking to him in the Spirit World about Spirit World lore; In that time, she falls so desperately, madly, unfathomably in love with him that she breaks off her marriage to Hahn and devotes herself to waiting for him to one day come to her.

"Never have I known such joys as that time you let me explain the spirit bear Hei Bei to you. Truly, we are destined to be together for life."

Like with Suki, they go out of their way to have Yue and Sokka already be a ship from the word 'go' so they don't have to spend time developing any kind of meaningful attraction.

They just. They really want you to know that Sokka is the manliest and most desirable man ever to walk this earth. It is very important that you understand how great he is. Women hurl themselves into his arms with zero effort whatsoever, because he's just so goddamn irresistible.

Fortunately, Hahn is super okay with this turn of events. He's the most chill guy ever, he gets along perfectly well with Sokka, and he completely supports Yue's right to dump him! In the famously misogynistic Northern Water Tribe, no less! What a swell guy. Aren't men swell?

June

June gets hit with that "rewritten as hollow waifu" stick too, but her eyes are set on Iroh. They rewrote June to be super attracted and flirty towards the man who was her unwanted sexual harasser in the source material. So that's fun.

Also, she barely does anything. Zuko hires her to find Aang, she succeeds, and then she fucks right off out of the show - But she manages to find time to express how unbelievably sexy Iroh is twice during that time.

She seriously just dropped into the show to flirt with Iroh and leave. She is unbelievably inconsequential.

Kyoshi

And then there's Kyoshi. They really want you to hate Kyoshi. She's constantly shot from below, as if looking down on Aang and the audience. Her voice takes on a demonic echoing reverb at one point as she's screaming at Aang that "THE AVATAR MUST BE A MERCILESS WARRIOR!!!"

She despises Aang, calling him a coward for running away from his responsibilities - Which, I remind you, is no longer a plot point because they unwrote that flaw from his character. So she's just a complete and utter asshole, shot from the asshole angle, yelling violently at him with asshole sound effects. They want you to despise this woman.

Azula

Awkwardly, they do not seem to want you to despise Azula.

There's a lot to be said for how Ozai treats Azula in the original show. The way the favoritism he shows her is every bit as cruel and manipulative as the unfavoritism that he shows Zuko. Ozai does not love Azula. He loves the reflection of himself he sees in her eyes, and his encouragement urges her to polish herself to ensure his reflection always shines through.

This is not that. The show instead erases the favoritism entirely. Ozai doesn't really care one way or another about either of his kids. He plays them against each other, bragging openly to Azula about how great Zuko is and unpleasably writing Azula off as weak and useless.

They've rewritten the dynamic between abusive father and his two abused kids in order to take Azula's pride away. Reimagining her from a gifted prodigy who excels at imitating the toxic behaviors of a father who doesn't truly care for her, to a put-upon overachiever tearing herself in knots to live up to the standards of her unpleasable father.

This results in a truly wild portrayal of Azula as insecure and jealous of Ozai's seemingly love for Zuko. Here, she is simply a browbeaten child constantly complaining to her friends about how mean her father is and conspiring to get one up over Daddy's Golden Child Zuko.

Which she fails at, because she backs Zhao. Zuko deftly defeats her without even realizing they're in competition.

Conclusion

The season ends well for some of these women. It ends promising that maybe we'll see Katara teaching Aang some day. It ends with Zhao bragging that Ozai just used Zuko to train Azula so maybe we'll see the more confident and misguidedly proud Azula some day. Yue becomes the moon like she's supposed to. June's still out there so maybe she'll get to do something again some day.

Katara gets to fight Pakku and lose, but she looks pretty cool. She gets to fight Zuko and lose, but she looks pretty cool. Azula learns to lightningbend because she's just so mad about Ozai's contempt for her and favoritism for Zuko, which isn't how you lightningbend.

But promises of future content fall flat when the content that exists is so underwhelming. This season made its feelings on these characters pretty evident, and it's unwise to expect better material from creators who've disappointed you with the material they already made.

The women of Netflix Avatar simply do not get to shine, outside of superficial moments like the "Women of Northern Water Tribe demand the right to fight and then fuck off and don't do anything for the entire rest of the episode" bit.

"In the midst of battle, we demand that you stop being sexist and give us permission to fight! This is a way better idea than convincing you to teach us to fight before the battle begins."

The characters of this show feel as if they've been reimagined to glorify the boys at the expense of the girls. The boys are treated with a great amount of care. They're dignified and made important movers of the plot, with their rough edges sanded off. While the girls are molded around them.

[spider-stark]

INFINITELY YOU

part three // spitfire

SUMMARY - In every universe, Peter Parker seems destined to fall in love with you. And, in every universe, he realizes it too late. When universes collide and two of them are granted a second chance at rectifying their biggest mistake, neither of them are willing to let the opportunity go to waste–even if you end up not being the person they thought you were.

WARNINGS - 18+, minors DNI

WORD COUNT - 4.5k

// masterlist // series masterlist // send me your thoughts // no way home fan fiction // rewrite

name key: tom!peter = peter // andrew!peter = parker // tobey!peter = pete

On the walk back from Peter Pan’s, it seemed as though Parker had managed to entirely escape the sputtering awkwardness that had ensnared him the night before. 

And, after countless city blocks of listening to him babble about absolutely everything and anything, you realized that there was one very striking similarity between him and Peter. 

Both boys had a fervent interest in all things nerd. 

“New Hope takes place nearly two decades after the rise of the Galactic Empire, meaning that Leia is only nineteen when she's kidnapped and forced aboard the Death Star! Which is like, absolutely insane, right? Seriously! Imagine being nineteen years old and stuck inside of something that has the potential to obliterate an entire planet!” 

Shoving open the lobby door to your complex, Parker hardly even waits for you to hum your agreement before continuing his retelling of the Star Wars film. 

“And at the exact same time, Luke is finally beginning his Jedi training! Which, honestly, nineteen is actually super old for that, but-” 

Moving towards the stairs, Parker close on your heels, you cut him off with a question. “Too old? Nineteen is hardly even an adult,” you argue. “What age do most Jedi start training?” 

“About four or five, so obviously Luke was way behind,” 

Not even a full three stairs up, you come to a grinding halt, leaving Parker to bump into your back. “Four?!” You cry out, wide-eyed as you spin around to face him. “That’s insane!” 

Parker only lifts his shoulders, clearly not understanding the reason for your horror. 

Furthering your point, you add, “There’s nothing ethical about taking a bunch of little kids and training them to be weird, intergalactic warriors!” 

“It’s the best way to train them!” He lifts his hand defensively, explaining, “The earlier they start training, the less likely it is that the kids will have formed an attachment to their families! That way they learn to act out of logic instead of emotion!” 

For a heartbeat, you’re rendered entirely speechless by the absurdity of his claim, left to stand with your mouth agape as you blink at him. 

“That sounds like emotional abuse,” you finally huff, shaking your head. “Actually, scratch that—it doesn’t sound like emotional abuse, it just is!” 

“It’s not abuse-” 

You hold a hand up, stopping him before he can say anything else. “Give me one good reason why a group of adults should withhold love and affection from children if they aren’t abusing them.” 

“Uh, how about the fact that love is basically what made Anakin turn to the dark side!” Parker scoffs, clearly unwilling to recognize how insane the notion he was pushing actually is. 

“Or maybe Anakin turned to the dark side because he was indoctrinated and traumatized by some stupid space cult!” 

The expression on his face is downright laughable. 

It was as if you had just reached out and slapped him across the face. His jaw went slack, his mouth hung open in blatant offense. As a sputtering noise falls from his lips, trying and failing to come up with a good rebuttal, you smirk. 

“Exactly,” you boast, taking his inability to speak as a sign of victory. 

Twirling on your heel, you continue up the stairs, nearly all the way to the top before you finally hear him come stomping up behind you. 

“The Jedi Order is not a cult!” He finally shouts after you. 

Already traipsing through the hallway, fiddling with your keys, you sing-song, “Whatever you say, bug-boy.” 

Reluctant to admit defeat, Parker continues grumbling under his breath as you unlock the door, spouting something off about your lack of respect for George Lucas. 

“Look,” you tell him, pushing the door open, “if liking Star Wars matters this much to you, then I’ll gladly watch them with you.” A wry smile plays on your lips as you turn to look at him, standing in the doorway, “Maybe watching them will be enough to change my opinion on turning kids into galactic slaves.” 

Eyes narrowing in a playful glare, he’s only able to hold the expression for less than a few seconds before a laugh causes him to break character. “I just can’t believe that Peter hasn’t made you watch them already,” he admits. “I had you watch them so much that you could probably recite the scripts from memory alone!” 

His amusement dies off as soon as he finishes the sentence. Despite having been the one to bring it up, the mention of his world seems to cast a sullen shadow over him, ruining his sweet, boyish smile. 

Curiosity instantly claws at you, begging you to ask him why his world seemed to have such a negative effect on him. Or, rather, why his version of you seemed to have such an effect. 

This had happened last night too, when you had asked him if the two of you were friends in his world—and it was because of this that you assume that you’re somehow the common denominator in his discomfort. 

Still, you don’t let yourself ask him about it. For as much as you’re starting to like Parker, you don’t know him nearly well enough to try prying into his life. 

Not yet, at least. 

“Well, you’re more than welcome to force me into sitting through them in this world, too.” You tell him sweetly, sweeping an arm out to gesture inside of your apartment, inviting him. “It’s not like I’ve got any plans for the rest of the day.” 

You couldn’t even remember the last time you did have plans. Life had been so quiet since that last night with Peter and Mj—the night when everything went so horribly wrong. 

Parker sucks in a breath through his teeth, a hand coming to rest against the back of his neck. “I should probably get back out on the streets,” he reluctantly says, sounding more like he was convincing himself of that than you. “But, I don’t know, maybe we can take a rain check on it, yeah?” 

Disappointment washes over you, sudden enough that you’re sure it shines through on your face. It takes a shocking amount of willpower to stop yourself from trying to persuade him to stay, wanting to remind him that two other Spider-Men were already running themselves ragged in pursuit of the villains—so why did he have to go, too? 

You had grown used to his constant talking, having found solace in the chatter that kept you from slipping too far into your own thoughts. Selfishly, you wanted him to stay so that you wouldn’t have to be alone; so that you wouldn’t have to risk thinking too long about Doctor Strange or the multiverse or constants or Peter. 

The thought of admitting any of that out loud, however, felt incredibly humiliating. 

“For sure,” you force a smile, trying to ignore the many thoughts swirling in your mind. Then, eyeing the slightly too-tight Ramones shirt that he’d stolen from you, you add, “But shouldn’t you at least come in and change?” 

His nose wrinkles slightly as he shakes his head. “Nah—I think this city has more than enough spider-people swinging around it right now. I figure we might actually benefit from one of us patrolling on the ground-level, y’know? Maybe I can ask around for any giant lizards or blown light bulbs.” 

It’s hard to tell if the last bit is meant to be a joke or not, but you laugh anyway if only to avoid knowing why you should be worried about lizards and light bulbs. 

“Sounds like a plan,” you second his idea. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later then?” 

A surprising sense of joy lights his eyes at the sound of your hesitance, unfitting of the simplicity of the moment, but charming nonetheless. He grins—a wide and endearing sort of grin—as he takes a step back, “I won’t be gone long,” he promises before reminding you, “lock the door behind you, alright? And if you need anything-” 

He pauses, patting the pockets of his jeans only to remember that he didn’t bring a phone with him to this universe—and that, even if he did, there likely wasn’t a wireless plan good enough to support multiversal travel. 

“If you need anything, call 911.” 

“Got it,” you laugh, watching as he stumbles backwards towards the stairwell, cheeks red with faint embarrassment. 

Turning to go inside, you can’t ignore the warmth that now blooms in your chest. 

You could definitely get used to having him around. 

A peculiar sensation prickles at your skin, curling along your spine like icy fingertips. 

Something was wrong. Very wrong. 

The usually comfortable atmosphere of your apartment had shifted. An eerie tension fills the space, a near-suffocating feeling that has the very walls holding their breath, humming a tune of warning as you inch further into the living room. 

Your stomach twists as the sharp tang of exhaust fumes fills your nostrils. By the couch, a faint breeze rustles the curtains of a window, wafting in the nauseating scent of the city street below—a window that hadn’t been open when you left earlier. 

A mere foot or so away, you notice that the picture frame Parker had been fiddling with before is now lying on its face, having been knocked off the end table and abandoned. Atop the table, you notice that the lamp is sitting askew, its base just inches from tumbling over the edge and joining the frame. 

Someone had come in through your window—and it didn’t appear as though stealth had been very important to them, given that they had clearly stumbled into the table upon their entrance. 

Adrenaline floods your senses, your spine stiffening as you take a series of slow, quiet steps. 

Moving towards the corner, you carefully reach out a hand to grab the metal bat propped against the wall. The bat had been an unlikely housewarming present from when you first moved in, given to you by Peter’s mentor and your own reluctant renegade, Tony Stark. For nearly two years now it had sat in this corner, unused and gathering dust—until now. 

You wrap your fingers tightly around the base, wincing slightly as the rubber grip pulls at the still-healing flesh on your palm, making you curse yourself for not properly bandaging the wound last night. 

But you’re used to pain—and so you’re easily able to bite back against it as you ease through the living room, checking for any sign of the intruder's presence. 

As you walk, gripping the bat like your life depends on it, you can’t help but hear Tony Stark’s voice echo in your mind. 

If you’re gonna live alone, then you should have some sort of protection—he had told you, gently placing the cool steel into your hands for the first time, a ribbon tied sloppily around it—not that you need it. 

Satisfied with your search of the living room, you start easing towards the hall. You’re good at sneaking around, having had a lot of practice at it—every movement you make is calculated, every footfall so purposefully gentle that it’s nearly silent. 

Quiet as you were, you could do nothing to ease the sound of your blood thrumming wildly in your own ears, your heart pounding against your chest. 

The incessant beating worries you—because you know that there are people in the world with the unnatural ability to hear such things. Peter, even with his enhanced hearing, had to be close to someone in order to hear something as soft as their heartbeat; but you had heard rumors that there were others who could hear a pulse from miles away, others like the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. 

The thought makes your blood run cold, though you try to push the worries from your mind. From what you know, the Devil doesn’t have a habit of breaking into apartments, nor was Queen's his usual jurisdiction. 

No—what you were dealing with had to be no more than an average burglar! 

An average burglar who, somehow, scaled up the side of a building to break into your apartment… 

Alright—you think, approaching the end of the hall—perhaps it’s a not-so-average burglar, then! Still better than the Devil. 

Peeling one hand from the bat’s handle, you curl your fingers around the doorknob to the guest room, Parker’s room. You ease the door open slowly, trying to keep the old hinges from crying out as you peer into the space. 

The sweet scent of vanilla is the first thing that hits you, contrasted by the subtle bite of vetiver. 

Parker—the room smells of him, even though he had only been here for one night. 

On the bed, the quilt is rumpled and thrown about, pillows strewn about. The doors of the armoire are wide open, a few old shirts hanging over the edge of one of the shelves, no doubt from when he went digging through your clothes in search of something to wear. 

The room was messy, but empty. 

Your shoulders sag, half-a-breath loosing from your lungs. The relief is short-lived, however; as by the time you edge back into the hall to turn towards your own door, you’re overwhelmed with dread. 

If whoever broke in was still here, then this was the only place they could be—save for the bathroom, though you seriously doubt any burglar would have much interest in scouring through your toiletries… 

Easily, gracefully, you twist the knob, the metal yielding quietly to your careful touch. 

The curtains are tightly drawn, eradicating any trace of sunlight and leaving the room cloaked in shadows. But, even in the darkness, you’re able to see the rough outline of a figure sprawled out across your mattress. 

For a split second, you think of Parker’s advice to call 911, the weight of your phone suddenly heavy in your back pocket. 

You think of how you should follow that advice. 

You think about how fast you could run—if you would be able to reach the front door before they could catch up to you. 

But then you stop thinking, disregarding all logic and reason as you take a step into the room, as if drawn in by some invisible force. 

Remaining mindful of your surroundings, you slowly approach the edge of the bed. Squinting in the darkness, you try to study the body laid out atop your comforter. Watching the steady rise-and-fall of their chest, it suddenly hits you that, whoever they are, they’re asleep. 

Slinking around the corner and coming to stand at your bedside, you’re finally close enough that you can see them in spite of the absence of light. Crimson and blue spandex clings tightly to their arms as they cling one of your pillows to their chest, and you feel your entire body sag with relief as you loosen your grip on the bat. 

So this must be Peter 2. 

The fabric of his mask is bunched up and resting along the bridge of his nose, which is somewhat smushed against the pillow he’s holding, no doubt leaving him to breathe in the scent of laundry detergent and your perfume. 

Lower, you can make out the subtle contours of his jawline and the curve of soft, pink lips. Higher, you’re met with the impassive stare of then white lenses sewn into his mask. 

The lenses shield his eyes from your view, and a curious feeling begins to tug at the furthest corners of your mind. Take it off—it seems to whisper, compelling you to move in closer, your shins pressing against the side of the mattress—take it off. 

You grit your teeth and try to ignore the feeling, try to ignore the velvet-voice slithering through your mind; begging you to look at him, to touch him, to notice him, to-

Pain shoots along the side of your temple, likely in response to the sudden tightness in your jaw. It distracts you enough that you’re able to shake the strange feeling long enough to regain your focus—even if the remnants of it still linger. 

You shouldn’t be interested in him—you should be pissed at him. 

Not only had he broken into your house, which was already bad enough, but he had also climbed into your bed and made himself cozy! The absolute gall, the audacity he must have, has you allowing the tiniest sliver of rage to ignite inside of you. 

Both hands still gripping the bat, you lower it from where it rests against your shoulder to swiftly jab its head into his stomach. 

A cough sputters past his lips as the impact pushes the air from his lungs. 

You’re actually shocked that you landed the blow—in truth, you had expected his spider-sense to kick in and detect the incoming hit, waking him with just enough time to dodge the shot. But, apparently, his instincts had made the mistake of assuming that you were of no threat to him. 

“Morning sunshine,” you chime, your feigned cheerfulness set off by a sneer. 

He’s scrambling into an upright position, knees sinking into the mattress as he presses a hand against the sore spot you’d created on his stomach. “What the fu-” 

His voice is hoarse—from sleep or pain, you’re not sure—and he doesn’t finish the curse spewing from his mouth once his head shoots up towards you, as if finally registering the sound of your voice. 

“I don’t know what things are like in your world,” you muse, swinging your bat back to rest against your shoulder, “but in this one, breaking and entering is considered a crime.” 

He’s still catching his breath, and while those damn white lenses covering his eyes give so little emotion away, you assume that he’s going to apologize. It’s what Peter would do, and Parker, too. 

But not him. 

“Your friends said I could stay here,” he defends himself. Taking another deep breath and extinguishing the burning in his lungs, the lower-half of his face transforms into a defiant smirk. “It’s not breaking and entering if you were invited.” 

“And did they tell you to sleep in my bed, too?” You shoot back, brows rising in annoyance. “Word of advice: next time you’re invited to stay in a total stranger’s house, maybe try not to repay their kindness by crawling through their window.” 

He mocks you without missing a beat, “Word of advice: you live in a shitty neighborhood—if you don’t want people coming through your windows, you should try locking them.” 

“Ah, right! Cause the average person is definitely willing to scale the side of a building for the prospect of an unlocked window!” 

“You’re a pretty girl in a dangerous city,” he drones, lifting a shoulder as he meets your sarcasm with purposeful calm. “You’d be surprised what people would be willing to do for a chance at getting you alone.” 

The insinuation sends a shiver down your spine, but you mask your unease, flashing a smile that’s more predatory than sweet. “Aw,” you coo, “so you think I’m pretty?” 

He returns the expression, skillfully avoiding your derisive question. “I think you’re irresponsible—and a little cocky.” 

“Better to be cocky than a felon,” you remark. “Just spare my neighbors the acrobatics show next time, would you? Maybe try knocking on the door like a normal person! Preferably when you’re not dressed like… that.” 

It’s not that his suit wasn’t nice, because it was. But it lacks the advanced Stark-tech that makes Peter’s suit so uniquely sleek, meaning that it was likely safe to assume that no one in this world would mistake this boy for the real Spider-Man. 

Unless they were to catch him scaling up the side of your building… 

“I tried knocking.” he sounds exasperated, as if you are testing his patience. “You weren’t home.” 

You snort a laugh, wondering if he truly believes that is all the reason he needs to break into someone's home. 

“Then you should’ve waited until I got home,” 

“I hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours. I was too tired to wait.” 

“Then you should’ve slept in the alleyway with the rest of the strays,” you hiss at him, fingers tightening around the bat as your frustration builds. 

The sheer ferocity in your voice gives him pause, stunning him into silence. 

Then the corner of his mouth begins to twitch upwards, lazily grinning at you as if he actually enjoys the verbal onslaught. 

You can tell that he’s watching you through those white lenses, and his tongue darts over his bottom lip, you feel your breath catch in your throat. “Fine,” amusement dances in his tone as he raises his gloved hands, “fair enough.” 

For a moment, no sound comes from your parted lips, leaving you to stand there gaping at him until you remember how to speak. “Fair enough?” You echo, shaking your head slightly. “That’s all you’ve got? No apology?” 

He moves, forcing you to take a step back as he shoves his legs over the side of the bed and rises to his feet. He’s not as tall as Parker, but he still stands an inch or so higher than you, making it hard to not feel intimidated as he stares down at you, your own face staring back from the reflection of his lenses. 

“Better not push your luck, Spitfire,” 

He’s baiting you—he has to be! Using a stupid nickname to get under your skin, to try and prod further at your short temper. And it’s working—god, you hate how much it’s working!—because you find yourself contemplating putting his superhuman durability to the test by whacking him over the head with your bat. 

“By the way,” he says before you have a chance to act on your intrusive thoughts, pointing at your hands, “you’re bleeding.” 

As if his words switch a flip in your head, you’re suddenly aware of the acute throbbing in your palm. You loosen your grip on the bat, letting it clatter recklessly to the floor as you hold your hand out to examine it. 

Unsurprisingly, the rubber handle managed to tear open the barely-healed cut on your palm, courtesy of your too-tight grip on it. You hiss through your teeth, watching as blood oozed from the cut, dripping down towards your wrist. 

Slipping past you, the boy only half-manages to stifle his laugh. “You should probably take care of that.” 

He’s already slipping out into the hall by the time you regain enough awareness to follow after him, gritting your teeth against the pain. 

“And where do you think you’re going?” 

“To the other room,” he calls over his shoulder. Once he’s standing in front of Parker’s door, he spins back around to face you, his snarky expression still in-tact. “Where I’m hoping you won’t follow me.” 

Everything about him causes your blood to boil—his grating voice, his insolent attitude, his stupid soft lips. 

“Would it kill you to be nice to me?” You exclaim, your voice strained with pain as you try to wrap your hand in the lower half of your shirt. 

It takes no-time for blood to start seeping through the thin material, and you certainly don’t look intimidating like this—the lower half of your abdomen on display as you try to apply whatever pressure you can to the wound—but you don’t care. 

“I don’t have to let you and Parker stay in my house—I’m doing it because I’m nice, alright? And, so far, you’ve been nothing but a dick!” 

The thin fabric of his mask shifts, brows furrowing at the mention of Parker. Unlike Peter, however, he doesn’t bother commenting on the nickname. “Nice isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe you. Especially since you’re the one calling me names.” 

The levity in his tone makes you want to scream—what was his deal?! 

You press harder against your bleeding palm, your breathing turning shallow. You’re not sure if it’s frustration or pain or what, but you feel like your head is spinning. “Look, I don’t know you, alright? But this? Isn’t gonna work,” you bark at him, chin lifted defiantly as you stare into his mask, unrelenting. “If you plan on staying in my house, then you’ll get your shit together—got it?” 

His head tilts, curiously watching as you continue your frantic speech. 

“No crawling in through my windows or sleeping in my bed or smarting shit off! And take off that stupid mask!” You huff, shaking your head. “Or, I don’t know, pull it down the rest of the way! Just do something because you look stupid like that!” 

The words are spewing from your mouth like a torrential downpour, fueled by the rage swirling in your stomach and the throbbing in your hand and—

He laughs, a genuine laugh that isn’t born of derision, and you feel your racing thoughts slow to a halt. “You should work on your insults,” reaching for the nape of his neck, he tugs his mask off. “Because that was pathetic.” 

It’s no longer just your thoughts that have slowed, but the entire world. Everything around you feels like it has come skidding to a stop—leaving you staring up at him like a dumbfounded idiot. 

He’s beautiful—a commonality among Peter’s variants, it seems. 

He’s smirking, an infuriatingly charming smirk that lets you know he has no intention of listening to your demands for him to silence his quick wit. But you’re not focusing on that—no, you’re focusing on the features that had been hidden from you this whole time; his dark hair, tousled from removing his mask, falls in a chaotic halo around his face, contrasting the vibrance of his eyes. 

His eyes. 

They leave you breathless, and you hate it. Colored with the deepest cerulean you’ve ever seen, his eyes feel like staring into the depths of a crystalline ocean. You can almost feel yourself getting swept up in their tides, feel them enveloping you in a feeling of familiarity, as if this wasn’t the first time you had been pulled into their ebbing waters. 

“Have we–” your mouth has gone dry, your voice cracking. “Have we met before?” 

It’s a ridiculous question, and you recognize that even as it’s spilling from your lips. You couldn’t have met him before—not when the two of you weren’t even from the same universe! 

He seems to be thinking the same thing, and you’re already preparing to take the full force of whatever smartass comment he’s about to fling at you. “I’ve met you,” he says simply, taking you by surprise. Then he inclines his head towards your still-bleeding hand, “You should patch yourself up before you stain the carpet.” 

You look down at your hand, at the hem of your shirt, soaked in blood. 

“But just so I know,” you look back up, his body half-turned towards the door, his fingers resting against the knob, “if Peter and Parker are already taken, then who does that make me?” 

You have to force yourself to take a breath. “What did I call you in your world?” He’s silent for a moment, staring at the floor and chewing on his lip. Then, pushing the door to Parker’s room—their room—open, he smiles.

“Pete.”

a/n - ayyy, pete's finally here! and, ofc, lots of other little important details sprinkled around as well.

also, i really wanna say thank you to everyone who has been reading and enjoying this story so far! it truly means the world to me to read all of the nice comments and to know that you guys are interested in this story! so, again, thank you 💖 as always, please comment/like/reblog and let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist!

part four, titled "blooms of subterfuge", to be released april 29th

[mrs-reid-weasley]

Begin Again

Snow on the beach

" I can’t speak, afraid to jinx it. I can’t even dare to wish it but your eyes are flying saucers from another planet. Now I’m all for you like Janet can this be a real thing, can it?” - Taylor Swift

Pairing: Post Prison Spencer x Single Mom Reader

Summary: Spencer's therapist had encouraged him to get back into the dating scene to improve his mental wellness but after multiple failed blind dates Spencer feels that it is doing the exact opposite. That is until JJ and Garcia set him up with you.

Warnings: talking about traumatic dates, fluffity fluffy fluff, post prison spencer just being a little lover boy cutie pahtootie, lmk if I missed anything else!

Begin Again (Masterlist)

It wasn't that the girls Spencer went on blind dates with were horrible, they just weren't exactly the best. His first date was with a nice women that was in the same book club as Garcia. The date had gone wonderful until she asked if he had a chip in his neck so that the government could track him, and he would've laughed if she wasn't being completely serious. The next one was a girl who used to nanny Henry, that was all fun and games until her ex boyfriend showed up at the restaurant and she left Spencer with nothing but the bill.

Then there was the one who had too much wine and threw up all over him, the one who believed that the earth was flat and that the holocaust never happened, the one who just wanted a signed book from Rossi, and so on. He had been on at least ten failed dates within the spand of three months and to say he was over it would be an understatement.

"Oh come on Spence just give this one a try." JJ pleaded as they walked into the elevator with Garcia.

"I just don't see how this girl could possibly be any better than the last ten that you and Garcia set me up with."

"But she is!" Garcia exclaimed. "You see me and the all so lovely JJ realized the problem was that we hadn't picked a girl for you together as a team so that's exactly what we did and she will blow your little genius mind."

"fine." He huffed in defeat "but if this date ends horribly you have to promise to never set me up again."

Both the girls agreed to the deal so Garcia sent him your number as fast as she possibly could've.

All he could do was pray that they were right and that this date would turn out to be better than the last ones.

_

You adjusted your knitted sweater while you intensely examined yourself in the mirror. You wondered if you had put on too much makeup or if your tan knitted sweater with jeans and converse was too lazy for a first date.

"Can you stop fixing something every five seconds your seriously stressing me out." Your best friend Liv pleaded behind you while her head hung off the edge of your bed.

"I'm scared liv this is the first date I've been on in a long time and I don't want it to turn into a dumpster fire of a night." You sighed and brushed out the curls in your hair one more time.

"I think its going to be just fine from what you told me this guy is just as awkward as you are so maybe it's like a match made in dork heaven." She laughed.

"He seems super sweet I'm just scared he's going to run for the hills as soon as I tell him about Autumn."

“If he has a problem with the fact that you have a daughter he clearly isn't mature enough to handle a real relationship and needs to start acting his age."

Most men you tried to date either immediately ran or told you that they "weren't looking for anything serious right now" after you told them a out Autumn. You just prayed that Spencer would be the exception considering he was six years older than you and had experienced a little more life than you had.

The ping of a text message distracted you from your previous thoughts. "Okay liv, Spencer is going to be here in five minutes to pick me up. Theo is dropping Autumn off at seven and remember please she needs to be in bed by eight or else she gets grumpy in the morning and I'll be home at least by eight thirty." You rambled.

"don't you worry about Autumn she's going to have a great time with the world's greatest god mother. Also I already took the day off so go clean out your cobwebs tonight, I got this." You both let out a laugh at her last comment.

"I just feel so guilty leaving Autumn the day she comes home from her dad's. I promise I will be home by at least nine so maybe I can call in too and we can go get brunch in the morning?" You suggested fixing your earrings; finally feeling less anxious about how this would all play out.

Before liv could answer you the doorbell rang signaling you that either Spencer was waiting or Theo had been there early to drop Autumn off. Your heart rate picked up as you grabbed your purse and walked to the front door and slowly turned the knob.

"Hi you must be Y/N" Spencer smiled when you opened the door. You hadn't expected him to walk all the way up to your door and knock. Most of the guys you'd gone out with were the drive by and honk type, especially Autumns father Theo when you were dating.

"Yes I am and you must be the famous Dr. Spencer Reid I've heard so much about." You beamed as you walked out and shut your door behind you as soon as you heard liv open her mouth.

"Only good things I hope?"

"I think we both know JJ and Penelope would never dare to say anything bad about you." You said as you both approached his car, blushing when he opened the car door for you.

You were sort of confused at the fact that he insisted on picking you up. You could’ve sworn that you remembered JJ saying something about how he hated driving.

The drive was mostly silent and sort of awkward on your way to the unknown restaurant that Penelope had insisted he take you to after you told her that you enjoyed pasta, she had made your guys' reservation and everything. And when you arrived he opened your door for you once again. Even after being told almost every detail about the man standing before you still felt extremely nervous to make conversation.

"So JJ tells me that your a teacher." He attempts to make small talk.

"I am. I teach kindergarten, honestly I wanted to be an English Lit professor but you kinda of have to wait for one of those guys to die before the position is opened." You winced at your own shitty joke. You and Liv had always joked about how college professors looked like they were decomposing but Spencer didn't know that. And now that you’re thinking about it you remember Penelope telling you that Spencer was a professor when he wasn't with the BAU.

He let out at small laugh and you were absolutely flabbergasted. He got your joke? And he laughed? You were starting to wonder if this was just a laugh at all her jokes type of flirt tactic. But then again JJ had told you that he was sort of oblivious and bad at flirting.

"That's so true. You know the average age of college professors in the United States is 42 but there are significantly more faculty that reported their age at 55 and above so technically there's a lot more old professors in the USA than young professors." He rambled.

"I didn't know that." You smiled. He did understand your joke.

When you arrived at the front door of the restaurant you were met with a sign that said "CLOSED" in bold letters. You swear you could've cried you were only twenty minutes into the date and it had been so wonderful until this.

"oh...well if you wanted we could find a food truck and eat in my car? But only if you want to." He suggested, anxiously waiting for your response. You noticed him fidgeting with his fingers and you immediately interpreted that he was outside his comfort zone asking you to stay but he was still trying nonetheless.

"This isn't your master plan to drive to some viewpoint and get me in your back seat is it?" you smiled trying to ease his anxiety.

"I promise" he held his hands up.

You both walked back to his car unable to stop smiling. He was glad that you already weren't like the other girls he had gone on dates with. And you were happy that he wasn't as douche like the other guys you had been on dates with but you also still needed to tell him about autumn before you fully came to any conclusion about his character.

"Spencer before we continue this date I have something I need to tell you." You stopped walking and looked at him and he had fully set into a panic. This is it. This is when you would turn out to be just as insane as the other ones. He braced himself for your next words. "I have a one year daughter. I needed to tell you before I got too attached and you decided to run. I told JJ and Penelope not to tell you so that I could see how you reacted."

He exhaled a breath he didn't even know he was holding in. "That's a relief."

You quirked your brow at him. "So you don't care that I have a daughter at home?"

"Not at all" he reassured you "I actually quite like kids. I've never had any of my own but I have my two godsons and they're wonderful." You smiled at him. How could he have been so damn perfect.

You continued walking and he opened the door for you once again when you reached his car. And once you were both in the small talk started up again. "So I assume you know how I know JJ and Garcia but how did you meet them." He was still astounded at the fact that they both knew someone this perfect and didn't set you up with him sooner.

"I used to be Henry's teacher and then when my I had my daughter me and JJ were in a mom group together and we became friends. And then I met Penelope when JJ invited me out one night and I've been friends with the both of them ever since." You responded. "And I'm guessing your Henry's godfather that he dressed up as for Halloween when I had him as a student?"

"How did you know? That was such a long time ago I'm surprised you even remember that." He smiled at the fond memory.

"Because it was probably the cutest little costume I had ever seen and extremely creative might I add. My daughter was a pumpkin for her first Halloween and Henry beat her in cuteness by a long shot." You gushed. "But don't ever tell her I said that."

"Can you tell me about her? Your daughter." Spencer asked. You felt like you needed to pinch your arm to see if this was real.

"Her name is Autumn. I named her that because she was born in October and my favorite poem is Autumn by Alice Clary. She has so much personality for a one year old and she’s just so beautiful and amazing. I never saw myself being a mom but now that I am I couldn’t imagine anything else." He admired the way your eyes sparkled and your voiced softened when you talked about her. It was so incredible how in love you were with being a mother. He parked the car and you both walked out and towards the first food truck that you had passed neither of you cared what kind of food it was considering you were absolutely starving.

Within the next couple of hours you had both ordered your food and we're currently eating it as you spoke on the hood of Spencer's car. He has his head thrown back laughing as you told a story about one of your lousy dates that you had been on in the past.

"So I really thought I got stood up and I was ready to leave until this guy shows up and explained to me that he had to have his mom drop him off because he missed the bus. And then he continues to tell me all about how he still lived in her basement and was unemployed." You laughed.

"What did you tell him."

"I pretended that Autumns dad called me and told me that she was sick and I had to leave immediately." You responded "and then he asked me if I could take him back to his mom's house on my way. I ended up taking him home and paying for my own dinner."

"I can do you one better." Spencer laughed "One time JJ set me up with this woman from your mom group named Amy and she seemed okay until she started drinking and in the middle of me telling her what I do for a living she threw up all over me in the middle of the restaurant. I had to carry her out because she could barely walk and I swear my car smelled like puke for a week."

"why would JJ even set you up with her" you wheezed "we literally call her alcoholic Amy. She always has a flask in her son’s diaper bag it’s absurd.” You giggled.

Spencer sat there admiring your beauty as you laughed. Something about you made him feel so comfortable. In the short time you'd known each other you made him feel so comfortable that he didn't need to hide behind all his knowledge. Comfortable enough that he could just be a carefree and casual version of himself that he barely even knew existed. He felt bold and confident in your presence and it made him so truly happy.

Your phone starting to ring. You picked it up extremely fast, scared that it was Liv wanting to face time to tell you that something was wrong with Autumn. But Penelope's name and face was the only thing that covered your screen.

"Oh look who it is." You giggled and flashed your phone at Spencer before you answered. "Hey pen, what's up?"

"So I was calling to ask how the date went but then I realized that I had gotten the confirmation for your guys' reservation at six this morning and I thought it was weird but sei la vie you know?" You and Spencer smiled at her rambling "But then I looked at the website and these people are open at six in the freaking morning! So turns out I made your reservation for seven thirty am not seven thirty pm cause they're closed at five which is completely bonkers if you ask me." She took a second to finally breathe "so I am so sorry if your date got ruined. Ugh and you were the first good one we set him up with too but I'll fix it no worries my love."

"Pen I'm gonna say your hours too late on this call but your all good we found something else to do so no worries." You laughed and turned your screen so that Penelope could see Spencer sitting next to you.

"Oh look at that you guys are still out. I would like to end this call with a quick" she cleared her throat preparing for her next words "I win Spencer, I told you she was a good one! ha!" After those last words she hung up.

"oh my goodness I didn't even realize what time it was" you gasped when you looked at the time on your phone and saw that It was almost midnight. "I'm so sorry I kept you out this late."

"No really your okay. I'd be lying if I didn't already see the time a while ago, I just didn't want this to end so fast." He admitted and it made you heart absolutely melt.

"If I didn't have autumn waiting at home for me I would totally stay for longer but I really should get going." You sighed.

He nodded and took your guys' garbage to throw away before he opened the passenger door for you to hop in. After he got back into the car and put his seat belt on he felt the need to ask you about your previous marriage. Something intrigued him about the fact that you had gotten divorced for what he considered to be at a young age.

“So I know this is sort of first date taboo but um, why did you get divorced? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to I was just kind of curious because I just feel like twenty eight is a young age to get divorced.”

“Oh no I really don’t mind talking about it.” You reassured him. “Me and Theo met in high school. Honestly it was one of those cliche high school sweethearts type of things. I was a cheerleader; he was the captain of the basketball team and our parents were friends so we just thought why not? It seemed right at the time but after I got pregnant with autumn everything changed so I filled for divorce before she was born.” “you know it’s actually proven that children who never experience their parents unhappy relationships actually live a much happier and healthier life than those who experience their parents divorce.” He tried to make you feel better about your failed marriage in his own special way.

“I hope that’s the case with Autumn” you sighed.

“I’m sure it will be. I know we haven’t known each other for very long but you seem like a really good mom.” He smiled as you pulled into your driveway. Neither of you were ready for the night to end but you knew it had to eventually.

“I’ll walk you to your door” he cleared his throat before exiting his car. He opened the door and you both silently walked to the front door but as you went to turn the knob Spencer stopped you. “I’m going to ask you a question and you can feel free to tell me no but it’s going to drive me crazy if I don’t ask. Can I kiss you?”

“yeah” you let out softly. He placed his hand on your cheek and slowly leaned down until your lips met. You moved your arms to rest on his shoulders while he moved his other hand to your waist. Something as simple as a kiss had never felt so perfect to you.

That was until Liv opened the door and cleared her throat in an incredibly overdramatic manner. “Hi I’m Olivia, Y/N’s roommate.” You and Spencer pulled away from each other, cheeks flushed and chests heaving.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Spencer” Olivia waited for a handshake that was never going to happen.

“He has a thing with germs”, “I have a thing with germs” you both stated at the exact same time.

“Anyway I should get inside now I had a fun night with you Spencer, feel free to text me anytime.” You smiled at each other with a silent understanding before he walked away.

you walked past liv to get inside. “So coming home after curfew young lady. Tsk. tsk. Did you get lucky?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“no he was a perfect gentleman and we just got lost in conversation.” You beamed.

“I imagine it was hard to have a conversation with his tongue down your throat!”

“that was the only time we kissed tonight! I really like him liv something about this guy just feels so different. It feels like I was meant to meet him you know.” Liv let out a small laugh but you were completely serious. You knew Spencer Reid was about to change your life you just didn’t know how yet.

“oh my goodness and what was that germ thing about. I mean the man wouldn’t shake my hand but he would swap saliva with you?”

“you know it’s actually more cleanly to kiss than shake hands.”

liv just shook her head “you two really were made for each other. I’m going to bed now but I will be ready for brunch in the morning.” She said before she walked to her room. You threw yourself on your couch and you couldn’t help but kick your feet at just how happy you were and little did you know Spencer was just as giddy as he walked into his apartment.

-

A/N: sorry this took my so long to get this out I’m revamping my fics rn so hopefully I’ll be posting more soon! I hope you enjoyed this and heads up I have not proofread so I’m sorry for any mistakes you come across. I appreciate feedback and I hope y’all have a wonderful day and lmk if you would like to be added in the taglist💕

also if any of y’all are into the Harry Potter universe please feel free to check out my other fic im working on called: The Alchemy

Taglist: @witchsbitchestime @sonicthehedgedoggo @feyresqueen @donttrustlove @alcoholandcakes @person-005 @ilwsma @mega-kittyglitter-1 @creative-heart @chicken-fifi

[yandere-writer-momo]

I had this idea in my head but I just couldn’t type it into a story. Chances are it be well near 15k word or more. So enjoy this super depressing head canon/ short story creation!!

Yandere Baki Shorts: One More Time

Biscuit Oliva x Afab Reader x Regretful Yandere Reverse Harem (Baki, Jack, Hanayama, and Katsumi)

TW: Angst and mentions of emotional neglect

(Your name) is Tokugawa’s granddaughter so everyone tolerated her excessive kindness since they did not want to upset Tokugawa. Though it was no secret he was indifferent to her and often ignored her in favor of the fighters of his tournament. She gave a lot of her nuturing love because she wanted nothing more in the world than to be loved in return. Sadly these men were emotionally constipated so they did not understand her affection and unknowingly took her for granted… she had an inkling that they did not like her but she still tried to cheer them up and encourage them to keep pushing through… despite no one doing the same for her (not even her grandfather)

Hanayama ignored her whenever she made an attempt to speak to him, Katsumi was always ‘too busy’ to spend time with her, Baki complained about Kozue all the time to her and would cut her off every time she spoke, and Jack was just mean. Jack was the most vocal of his distaste for her…

- Jack was the one who pushed her off the deep end. She visited him since he wasn’t at the Baki and Yujiro fight to check on him. And she offers him words of encouragement and support but he shut her down by saying, “Of course I’d get sympathy from someone as pathetic as you. Can’t you get the hint that no one wants you around? Why don’t you just do everyone a favor and disappear.”

She felt her entire world fall apart around her but she just asked Jack if she can just sit beside him for five more minutes and then she’ll never appear again. That she will disappear from his and everyone’s life if he just let her sit beside him for a few minutes. Jack relented so she rested her head on his large arm. He was disgusted by her touch but if it meant she’d leave him alone, then he would do it. Jack had no idea she simply wished for comfort since he himself had never experienced comfort (despite her constant attempts to comfort him since she felt he was the most traumatized).

After the promised five minutes passed, she rushed out of his apartment in tears. She ended up leaving her jacket behind since Jack had cried on it (she used it to cover his face since he didn’t want her to see him cry). He sighed in relief and gets back to watching the fight he believes should have been him

(Your name) was there for everyone in her free time. She was there for Hanayama when his mother died, she was the mediator between Baki and Kozue when they argued, she sat beside Katsumi while he was in the hospital, and she was at the hospital with Jack and even pitched in for some of his hospital bills since he sustained so many injuries… she was a very nurturing light but they didn’t appreciate her. No one cared about her.

None of them ever celebrated her birthday with her and they didn’t visit her in the hospital when she was sick. They didn’t know her favorite food or color. They didn’t know her favorite restaurant or her nervous ticks. They hardly responded to her texts if at all… (your name) was so lonely it wasn’t even funny.

So she decided to go to the family’s rumored well for a wish. An old wishing well from an old scroll she found hidden within a secret wall of the Tokugawa estate. It was written by one of the first relatives who wished for the Tokugawa family to become wealthy. Btu there was a price to pay… but it’s blurred out. Regardless of the unknown danger, (your name) travels up the mountain alone with the old map in hand… to make a wish.

Rather than wish for something selfish, she wishes for her friends- no the people she cared about, to have all their desires come true, but in exchange, she offered the spirit in the well her life. She’s never been touched, she’s still pure. (Your name) could be of value, right? But the spirit pitied her so they had her disappear from the Japan for five years... they wanted her tormentors to suffer the heart ache she had for the rest of their lives

The baki men all have their dreams come true… Shinshinkai dojo became world renowned for the best karate, Hanayama was successful as the leader to his family, Baki became the strongest creature in the world, and Jack defeated his father … but they were without her love and affection for five years… they missed her. They don’t feel like they deserved the success because she wasn’t there to cheer them all on. It all felt empty without the unwavering support of the bubbly (your name). They went insane in their search for her but she disappeared without a trace…

Baki often found himself glance at the stands after a fight in hopes he’d hear (your name)‘s voice cheer for him and sing his praises. That she would run over to him to check his wounds and treat him to dinner. He swore he would thank her this time and he’d give her some compliments himself. He had seen some pictures of her and had forgotten how pretty she was…

Katsumi would often unconsciously reach for a bento box on the bench he usually sat on at the dojo. He missed (your name)’s cheery smile as she handed him a home cooked meal. He swore he would make time for her if she asked to hang out with him. Katsumi would take her to every restaurant and fun date spot she wanted to try if she came back through the Shinshinkai’s doors. Katsumi would spend his time researching date spots in hopes of her sudden return. He wanted to make up for all the broken promises he’s made to her over the years…

Hanayama often found himself glance at the door in hopes she would come in and ask to walk through his rose garden with him. He made sure to add an extra chair in his office so she could sit beside him and talk to him as he worked. Hanayama swore he would listen to her her this time.

Jack is the most distraught. He was the last to ever see her and he still had her jacket… he felt so guilty. He hadn’t moved out his dinky apartment in hopes she would walk through his door again and ask to sit beside him. That she would want to share a meal with him and rest her head on his arm. Jack would do anything for her to come back… she was the only one who wasn’t afraid of him. Jack would give her the effort she deserved if she came back to him

Her memories of her so called ‘friends’ are wiped. She can no longer remember any of them or much about her life at the Tokugawa estate. The spirit sent her off to America where she comes to be under the care of a lonely Biscuit Oliva who had lost Maria. He’s instantly taken with her and he helps her since she seems so lost… he was lost too. And they found each other.

She spent five years by Biscuit’s side, where he spoiled her rotten. She was granted her true wish of being loved the way she deserved. Her true wish was granted and the Baki men paid the price.

Biscuit and her have a beautiful relationship. He talks with her and he listens to her. He remembered every small detail she shared about herself, even ones she did not verbally share. He’s so considerate of her and he helps her build self esteem. Biscuit constantly made time for her and always put his best efforts into making her happy. And Biscuit never stopped giving her compliments about her appearance or of a task she completed that she felt was minuscule. Biscuit claimed everything she did was perfect to him and he’d never change a thing about her. She often found herself crying here and there for no reason… like there was a part of her that finally started to heal

Five years later and Baki went to see Biscuit to challenge him for a fight out of boredom. Baki is shocked to hear such a familiar laugh and he runs into Biscuit’s room to find (your name) and Biscuit enjoying a meal together. She looked so beautiful in her designer dress… like a princess from a fairytale… but she had always been a princess now that Baki thought about it

Baki immediately collapsed in front of her and hugged her knees while he sobbed. He told her how much he and the others have missed her. How they were so sorry for the way they treated her, that she could come home… but she had no idea who he was… she didn’t know him. She didn’t remember him and it sent Baki spiraling. Baki is insistent that she’ll remember if she returned to Japan but she declined his offer. She told him that despite not knowing him, she was happy that his dreams came true

Baki refused to leave the Arizona prison until she returned back with him. She said she would so long as Biscuit can come with her. Baki is so thrilled… but the other men are much worse than Baki. So much worse.

When she arrived at the Tokugawa estate, Katsumi is the first to run to her and pull her into a hug. He’s bawling his eyes out as he hed her body as close to his body as he could. He babbled about his accomplishments and how he wished she was there to see them… that she belonged by his side. She just awkwardly pushed him away and apologized to him because she had no idea who he was. Katsumi went silent in disbelief and at first had thought it was a joke… but Baki frowned at him.

Baki explained to the other martial artists that (your name) completely lost her memories. They don’t believe him at first. Especially Katsumi who kept bringing up memories he had of her being at every tournament and by his side in the hospital. He convinced himself she was in love with him. (Delulu isn’t the solulu)

Hanyama just stared at her while she held Biscuit’s hand for comfort. He’s consumed with jealousy (on the inside) when he saw the way she looked at Biscuit… she used to look at him like that.

Hanayama quietly shared how the last five years of his life was without her and of his feelings for her… Hanayama admitted that he couldn’t date or sleep with anyone since she haunted his dreams since her disappearance. Hanayama kept his rose garden beautiful all year round since she loved it so much. Kaoru wanted to walk through the garden with her and pluck roses with her so she could display them in the compound… Hanayama even had a bench placed in the spot she’d always kneel in the grass in… he would be better for her if she came back to him… Hanayama would marry her on the spot

Hanayama offered her a lot of power, pleasure, and luxuries if she returned to his side but she politely turned him down. (He continued to bring it up whenever Katsumi or Baki weren’t speaking… it was so awkward)

Katsumi then spoke up about the last five years without her and about the true love he held for her. Katsumi admitted he searched for her face in the stands every time he had a tournament and he’d search for her when he was training people at the dojo. He never gave up his search for her. He felt awful for not making time for her and all the broken promises he made. Katsumi vowed to make as much time for her as she wanted if she just returned to his side… Katsumi swore that he would be an amazing husband to her. That he wanted to start a family with her and build her dream house… Katsumi poured his heart out to her with a pink blush on his cheeks. He sounded like he was sharing a dream that would never be in reach (delusional mf)

Baki then shared the last five years without (your name).. Baki and Kozue finally broke up for good a few years back due to their differences. Baki didn’t have the (your name) to help him make up with Kozue or to be his voice of reason. He didn’t have the (your name) to make sure he ate or that he rested enough. He didn’t have her compliment him or congratulate him anymore… he missed her motherly affection. He missed someone being proud of him. Baki rested his head on her lap while (your name) sits beside Biscuit. He kept trying to get her to rub her fingers through his hair but she swatted his hands away

Jack remained silent the entire time. He’s trying his best to remain calm but he looked angry… and he is. He’s so upset that she had been fine this entire time and she hadn’t came back to see him… he doesn’t believe she lost her memories because she’s so scared of him. She was never scared of him before… he wants to talk to her alone. His eyes don’t leave her the entire time while he clenched his jaw

Tokugawa brought up how she was always there for all the men in the room and how everyone had missed her so much but not a single person brought up any memories where one of them had been there for her… she asked if any of them knew her birthday and none of them knew. They were ‘so close’ to her but didn’t even know her birthday…

Biscuit pitched in and shared the date and the exact time of her birthday. The older man gave her a big smile before he began to list off her favorite color, food, and her hobbies. He shared all her quirks and her interests. It touched her heart… Biscuit knew everything about her which caused her to burst into tears .

The men all try to hand her handkerchiefs but she rejected them (she accepted Biscuit’s). She can’t explain to them why she started to cry, but she tells everyone that something within her was so happy… that Biscuit made her so happy.

(Your name) sadly had no desire to get to know any of the guys again because she’s happy with Biscuit. She tells them all that she’s happy they achieved their goals and that she’s proud of them but she no longer has a desire to be a part of their lives. Memories or not, from the way they talked about her, it seemed like she was the one who put in all the effort. Not a single one of them brought up a memory in which they did something for her… and that made her sad. Perhaps it was better she didn’t remember any of them

They cannot accept her rejection. Baki and Katsumi begin to beg and bargain. While Hanayama threatened her family (Tokugawa), but Biscuit held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He began to try to take her away but Baki blocked the exit. He’s frantic and his eyes are crazy. He began to beg her not to disappear again. “I don’t want to live in a world where you aren’t there… I can’t do it again. Please stay.”

She tells him, “Perhaps that was the kind of world I lived in… a world where no one cared about me until I disappeared. Please live a good life and don’t forget to take care of yourself, Baki.”

Baki broke down and that’s when Jack rushed forward and grabbed her. He hurriedly brought her to the garden at the Tokugawa estate at an inhuman speed while the others all chased after him (especially Oliva)

Jack began to scream at her once they were far enough from everyone. He’s yelling on the top of his lungs while his face turned red and tears all from his cognac eyes. He finally fell apart in front of her after he tried to hold himself together for all these years.

“You do remember! Stop lying… you know who I am and that’s why you can’t look me in the face because you remember our last conversation all those years ago…”

“I swear I don’t remember-“

“You’ve never been scared of me before!” Jack screamed, the blonde ran his large hand through his short blonde locks. Jack tried to reel himself in but the emotions broke through the dam he held together for the last five years. “You’ve never looked at me like I’m a monster!”

(Your name) flinched at his sharp tone, her eyes wide in shock when Jack suddenly fell to his knees and held her hands. The blonde placed his jaw in her hands while he cried. The shouts of the others can be heard as they make their way towards the two of them. Yet it felt like it was only Jack and her left in the world in this very moment.

“I’m sorry! I-I didn’t mean to tell you to disappear!” Everyone froze in shock when they make it to the outer perimeter of the garden. Their mouths open like a fish out of water at what Jack admitted… he was the reason? He was the reason she disappeared? “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

(Your name) squirmed when Jack pressed his lips to her hand in a way to apologize. She didn’t know why, but she needed to leave. She wanted to get away from him because he was scaring her. But his iron grip on her hands prevented her from escape.

“You can hit me… you can do whatever you want to me so long as you come back to me. I won’t be mean to you ever again.” Jack whispered into the palms of her hands as he guided her right hand to cup his scarred cheek. “You can sit beside me as much as you like. You can wear my jacket on your head when you need to cry and you can share meals with me. W-we can go for hikes together and you can sit on my back when I do pushups. I’ll do anything for you to be by my side and to not look at me like that.”

(Your name) can only stand there in shock as the giant man before her now appeared to be more like a lost child eager for love than a man… it broke her heart but he wasn’t her responsibility. If he was the reason why she lost her memories in the first place then he deserved her forgiveness the least.

And that’s when all the memories flooded in. The loneliness. The heart break. The broken promises. The constant rejection. She lived such a pathetic life before she was granted a second chance… these men didn’t deserve her. They never did.

“Jack?” Jack perked up at his name, his breath hitched as he clung to the sound of his name leaving her lips for the first time in years. He missed when she spoke his name. To him, she was meant to speak his name… she was his.

“Yes?”

“Do me a favor and forget about me.” Jack felt himself shatter at her words, the blonde now her her hands tightly to his face. His breathing now erratic.

“What?” Jack was in disbelief. He didn’t hear that right… this wasn’t his (your name). There was no way his sweet (your name) would tell him to forget her. She would never reject him. “I didn’t catch that.”

“Forget about me. Treat me as if I never existed.” (Your name) repeated as she tried to move her hands off his face. “You don’t need to have someone as pathetic as me beside you.”

No… no. No. No. No. No. No. She was supposed to forgive him. She was supposed to kiss his scarred cheeks while she happily accepted his apology with tears of joy in her eyes. (Your name) should know he never apologized and that he truly sought forgiveness.

(You name) snapped her hands out of his hold and turned on her heel to leave. She ignored the men who had once constantly let her down now try to gain her affection. She didn’t need these people. She didn’t need empty promises and sweet words… (your name) just needed her lover, Biscuit Oliva.

“I want to go home.” (Your name) told Biscuit with a smile. She took his large hand in her small one and gave it a squeeze.

“Of course, dear. We can do anything you want.” (Your name) rested her head on Biscuit’s arm as he lead her out of the estate. She ignored the screams of her name and the loud begging of Katsumi and Baki.

They never turned their heads for her when she begged for love and when she’d ask to spend time with them… why should she turn hers?

(Your name) finally had the love she always wanted while they had fulfilled their goals… how could they be so selfish to want more?

“(Your name)! Please stay in Japan! We can get married and I’ll take you on dates every weekend!” Baki shouted while Katsumi tried to one up him.

“I’ll take you out everyday and we can get married as soon as tomorrow!”

“I’ll give you the world if you turn around and come to me right this moment.” Hanayama piped up from behind her. “If you don’t turn around, then the Tokugawa family will be no more.”

Tokugawa began to shout out to the granddaughter he neglected for years in favor of these men who didn’t value him. “Please don’t let him do that. You love your grandpa, don’t you? You can be the heir to the Tokugawa family!”

Poor Jack remained on his knees in the garden. His brown eyes dull as he watched her leave with Biscuit without so much as a glance behind her.

For the first time in five years, Jack and the others have suffered a true defeat. All they wanted was one more time.

Just one more time and they’d make it all right… for they could not accept that they already wasted so many chances to make things right due to their own selfishness. They had lost the one love of their lives forever.

[princessamericachavez]

Even before the episode, while rewatching old seasons, I was just struck by how big an impact Buck’s had on Eddie’s life. 

Like, please, picture this: 

You are Eddie Diaz, ok? An army vet who quite literally just went through an extremely traumatic experience, immediately got left by your wife and in a desperate move to find happiness for you and your son you move across the country to start a new life. 

You are the new guy at work and this man about your age really has it out for you. That’s fine by you. You’ve put up with enough bullshit in the army, you are just here to do your work, it’s harder than that to get under your skin. Plus, this guy seems okay, aside from all the dick measuring, and you’re sure he’ll tire himself out if you just don’t play along. Then, oh surprise, after a single shift you give the guy one compliment and he folds completely, before you know it he’s decided you two are friends. Fine, good. You miss the army’s camaraderie. This will probably be just like that. 

Few weeks in, Christopher comes up. You hesitate because you don’t like talking about your kid with strangers, but you are worried about him being out there alone during the earthquake and there’s really no way to avoid the subject forever. You’re already dreading the pity looks from people who don’t understand this kid is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Instead, you get a wide smile, “he’s super adorable, I love kids”. In retrospect, you should’ve expected it. What you don’t expect is the way Buck spends the entirety of the shift reassuring you that Chris is alright, even when you’re pretty sure you’ve done nothing to betray your worry (you know better than to panic, it does nothing to help), but Buck seems to notice anyway and keeps sprouting curiosities to reassure you. He even drives you across the torn up town at a reckless speed to make sure you can reach your son as soon as possible. 

Few weeks later, abuela has an accident. Buck drives you to the hospital, even though you could’ve taken a cab to the firehouse to pick up your truck, and goes all the way in with you. He’s a good friend like that. Turns out, he’s a very good friend, because he catches you by surprise calling ahead to let the Cap know you need help with Chris and arranges a whole day of him hanging out with the 118. You didn’t ask for it, and he doesn’t expect so much as a ‘thank you’. 

Next night, he makes a big deal of introducing you to a woman and you are already dreading, once again, the reveal moment when you have to explain that thank you very much but you are still married and really your only priority right now is your son and- wait, that woman is the perfect caretaker that might or might not be the solution you’ve been desperately searching for to get your and your son’s life together.

This guy you just met a few weeks ago has given you friendship, reassurance, company, thoughtful help without you ever asking (you’ve never been good at asking for it) and he’s just sitting there smiling proudly while he helps you possibly assure your kids future.

All of this... it happens in the first FOUR episodes of s2 after Eddie is introduced. No wonder he’s in love ride or die for Buck. Who wouldn’t be?

In a year, they are inseparable. In two years, Eddie makes him Christopher’s legal guardian in case he dies. In three, Buck saves his life. In four they are basically a family and the person Christopher goes to in a panic. Five years in, Buck is in a coma and Eddie Diaz cannot even look at him, cannot picture a world where he’s dead, cannot envision his life without him. 

[stuckyrogersbarnes]

'Fuck me then.' (Pietro smut)

Warnings - Creampie, oral, praise kink. 

Word count - 1.3K

Female reader

You and Wanda had been bestfriends since your traumatic days trapped at HYDRA. And even though it was long gone, you still met eachother at least every 2 weeks. She was quite busy after joining the Avengers, you couldn't be prouder. And although she tried to convince you to join, you didn't want to get back into that. So, you got a normal job as a barista at a local coffee shop. It wasn't the best, but it was fine for the moment. 

However, Wanda's brother, Pietro Maximoff, never failed to get on your nerves (and vice versa). Sure, he was attractive, but he was a huge asshole, unlike his sweet sister. You, unfortunately, had been blessed with x-ray vision so you got to see Pietro's "progress," all throughout his teenage years, without being able to do anything about it. Meh, he was average. But, luckily, now you know how to control it. 

"Hi, what can I get-" you gasp as you look up. Pietro, the man you hadn't seen in years, was standing right in front of you. "Good to see you too, kochanie. Long time." The word 'kochanie,' never failed to piss me off. It meant 'darling,' or something in Polish, around where he was from. "Pietro, never thought I would see you again." "Life's full of surprises, Kochanie. I'll have a regular cold coffee." You put on a sarcastic smile. "Coming right up." He walks off. You hand the drink to a waiter to give to him so that you won't have to see his insufferable face ever again. And although you hated him, you couldn't help but think that he had become super-duper good-looking, atleast compared to what he used to look like. 

Tony and you were quite close too, so of course, you were invited to his huge New Year's Eve party. You put on your slutty red dress with a pair of golden earrings. After seeing Pietro today, your ovaries had kind of been in a twist, if you know what I mean. You walk your way down the large stairway and feel the stares of hungry men on you. You look around, only to find a certain someone looking directly at you. The same man who you saw today in the coffee shop, he looked taller, more defined, and with a beard than when you knew him. You had a thing for beards, you loved the sting. Your breath hitches. Pietro. "Kochanie, how pleasant to see you here." He greets you. "Mhmm, good to see you too." You try to sound confident but little does he know, you're dying to use those powers of yours right now. You shake it off and begin to walk away.

 Instead of walking away and never seeing him again, you trip and he instantly grabs you by the stomach. "Fuck." you whisper. You can feel his warm breath on the back of your neck as he leans closer, "Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." he whispers in your ear. He then leaves you, alone, with goosebumps surrounded on your skin. What just happened?

Even though you tried your best not to let your curiosity take over you, you find yourself outside the fancy bathroom. Should I go in? "Ugh." you groan. "Ah. I see you came." "What do you want Pietro?" You didn't turn back to see him, but you could hear his steps as he walked closer to you. "I'll get straight to the point, kochanie. After seeing you today, I needed to see you again. Now that I see you in that dress, looking so goddamn beautiful Y/n, I need to fuck you. Hard." You gasp and your pussy clenches. You slowly turn back, the background music slowly fading out. You thought for a second before saying, "fuck me then." He instantly grabs your neck and connects his soft lips to yours. He pushes you into the bathroom and locks the door. "You sure about this, darling?" "Yes." "good girl," he smirks and hitches you up onto the counter. He immediately bends down to his knees, spreads your legs wide open, and moans at the sight of your bare, wet pussy. No panties, no nothing. "Oh, I have been waiting for this for so fucking long." Before you get to even process what he says his tongue enters your wet hole, you moan and he begins to thrust. He then adds one finger to your pussy and latches his lips to your clit and sucks on it, hard. You grind on his face. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. You never thought Pietro would be so good at eating you out. You pull on his hair and grind on his face as he inhales your juices. "Fuck, you smell amazing." That statement alone was enough to send you on edge. But as soon as he says it, he adds two more fingers, completely stretching you out. "PIETRO!" you scream, unable to hold it back. Your pussy pulsates and you squirt, all over his face, leaving his hair and face wet. "You taste amazing, kachanie." Your blush in embarrassment. Did I just do that?  "I-i'm sorry that never happened before-" Before you finish he cuts off with a kiss, making your pussy even wetter. You can taste your sweet juices in his mouth and lips. "Don't be embarrassed, Kochanie. That was so fucking hot." he then takes two of his fingers and enters your pussy abruptly. He kisses down your neck, immediately finding your soft spot. You moan.

 "Fuck me Pietro." as soon as you say that he unlatches his belt with one hand and takes his jeans off. You can see his hard-on through his boxers. You moan at the nibling sensation on your neck. The surprise and shock of this happening sent you more on edge as your pussy clenches on his fingers and he pulled out, panting, making all your juices spill on his boxers, leaving them see-through. You could see his pink tip and his veins pulsating. He slowly takes off his boxers, his dick jumps out, almost reaching his belly button. You gasp. You do not remember it being so long. And you certainly don't remember it having a slight curve, which it does now. Wow, he has become a man. He takes off the straps of your dress, only to see your tiny, hard nipples. Your breath hitches as he latches his lips onto one of them and plays with the other one with his fingers. You moan, "Pietro. Inside. please," unable to form proper sentences. "Tsk. No patience. Though, I'm complaining." He unlatches his lips from your throbbing nipple. He lifts you up, you yelp. He bends you over on the cold marble counter, making you shiver from the cold sensation. His cock enters you, reaching a spot that had never been reached by anyone, including you, ever before. Before he even started thrusting, your vision blurs and you come. Wow. He groans and begins to thrust. "Fuck y/n, you're so tight." You moan. He bangs into you, again and again and again. You scream. He keeps hitting your G-spot over and over again. "I need you, Pietro." "Need me to do what, my darling?" "I need you to go faster, harder." He speeds up, banging harder. "Fuuuckkkkk." you moan. "Ugh," he moans, "I'm going to come Y/n." "Me too." You clench on his dick, seeing stars for the fourth time in the last half an hour. You can feel his come ooze out of him in your pussy as he pulls out. You squirt all over his still-hard cock. 

"One more round?" He asks. "Yes please." 

[yeeterthek33per]

Mic'd Up (Photo Day Edition) (Auswnt x Reader)

A/n requoosted

*The camera pans to you jogging around the producers, testing out the compact harness they had under your training jersey.

-----------------------

"Aw man, do I have to wear this? Do the others know? Oh, they don't. That's freaking amazing, I can be like, stealth ninja, catching all the secrets and the juicy deets."

"I feel like a super secret spy."

You jump up and down, clapping your knees in a mini back flip to get started. The staff chuckle as you do some dodging motions, making a dododo mission impossible sound.

"Okay, cool, we're done here? Alright, the girls should be out of the change rooms soon. Who's gonna be my first target. I feel like once they find out they're gonna start avoiding me. So, like, I have to be super stealthy."

Tony, walking onto the pitch behind the team, draws your attention as you pretend to be doing some precursory runs, while the rest of the camera crew pretends to be the photographers for photo day.

"Alright, you lot, let's start with our team photos, since it's photo day. Everyone on the stands, you know the drill."

"Tony! What do we do if we haven't brought our boots?"

You laugh as he rolls his eyes and swats at you lightly. You jog away from your coach and jump up on the stands, intentionally standing one spot to the left to annoy Charlie, who swats at you, shooing you back into place.

"Little turd, move it."

"She's so mean to me."

You wink at the videographers that are setting up.

"Hey guys, Tony says the beep test's optional today."

The girls around you chuckle, and you hear Tony behind you.

"Keep starting rumours, L/n, and you'll be doing it twice."

"No, please."

You turn and give him puppy dog eyes that just make raise a brow at you.

"Ugh, fiiine, I'll behave."

Your arm comes around to rest on Charlie and Alanna shoulders, though you do struggle a bit because Alanna is much taller than you.

"Jeez, Lans, can you like, not be a tree for a second?"

Her elbow digs into your side playfully.

"Can you like, not be a little turd for a second?"

A pout makes it's way onto your face.

*Cut to taking the photo, and everyone's arranged themselves correctly.

"Yo guys, I feel like I'm being bullied here."

-----------

There's the formal picture and the muck around one. Which you end up on Mini's shoulders for.

"Everybody say Mini!"

You throw your arms up in the air as the camera flashes, and Katrina laughs below you.

Tony claps his hands, and the team all move to start the basic dynamic warmups.

-----------

*The camera pans to some cones set out as each group takes their turns dodge and weaving.

"Oh my god, fast feet. Fast feet. Fast feet. Let's f****** go."

The girls in line chuckle behind you and you whoop as Vine follows through behind you.

"Ayyyy, nice one, Viney."

-----------

*Cut to another drill setup.

Your groan is audibly loud as you hear the traumatic sound of the beep test instructional introduction.

"Everybody start, three, two, one, go!"

"Ah f***."

You're panting by the fourteenth round.

"Oi, Tony, can we call it quits now?"

"Nope, keep going."

You pout for a second before jumping when the next beep goes for you to start.

You do halfway decently, making it to level 48 before it catches you off guard.

"You're out, Y/n!"

You grunt and collapse off to the side with the others with a huff, leaving just five of the others still in.

-----------

*Cut to passing drills.

"Ooh, ooh, Foordy, you're my buddy today."

The striker playfully groans, giving you a soft shove. Her arm wraps around your head to give you a noogie.

"Oi, get off!"

"Alrighty, let's go, you lot! That includes you, too, Y/n."

"I feel like I'm being targeted now."

*Cut to short tapping passes.

"Ayo, let's go. I've been practising my mini taps, hit me."

Short sequence of you and Caitlin playing taps with the ball, eventually getting faster to the point of it being a competition to keep it between you.

"Oh f***."

The ball nearly jumps past you for a second before you boot it back.

"Ah s***."

Just barely scrambling to keep it in, you send it back to the striker, but it pops past her to the right.

"YES! Suck on that fast feet!"

The forward clutches at her chest, dramatically falling over and playing dead.

"Nooooooo!"

"HA HA! Victory is miiiine!"

You do a little dance around Caitlin, eventually putting your foot up on the centre of her back in a power pose, grinning at the photographers who take several photos of the moment.

She eventually turns over, shoving your foot off her as you laugh. You pull her up.

-----------

*Another drill set up, shooting this time.

"Woot, yep, here!" "Caity! Here!"

You sprint around the cones as she sends a ball to your head, and you jump to make the header, the ball just barely grazing the post and into the net, falling onto your back with a dramatic scream.

"Oh my f****** god! That was amazing! Ha!"

You shoot up.

"Tony, did you see me? I got an eight footer!"

The camera switches to him, nodding with an amused applause. Off camera, Katrina yells out.

"Honestly, I'm impressed. She only makes up five feet of that!"

The rest of the team and staff crack up at that.

Cut to you, standing still, arms now by your side as your mouth drops open in a confounded expression.

"Did you hear that? Mocking me in my time of triumph. I'm still taller than you, Mini!"

You huff and jog back into line, giving the woman a swat as you pass her.

"Bloody brat, honestly."

You mutter into the mic. You turn to your captain, who's out of frame.

"Sammy! Mini's bullying me!"

"Tell someone who cares, nerd!"

It's faint but still audible, and as the camera pans to her, she takes off with a cheeky grin to make her shot. Which she does, rising to about the same height to make the header.

"Ohhhh! Gah damn! Check it, L/n!"

You just huff, taking a seat as Sam does a backflip.

"Brooo, I just dunked on by the Rabbitohs supporter."

Sam stops, a pout on her face.

"Why you gotta make it personal, bro?"

You poke your tongue out at her.

"Cause the bunnies suck and we all know it. Go the Broncos!"

"Ayyyy, there's my girl!"

You high five Mackenzie as you jog back to the line.

-----------

*Cut to the crew setting up for some scrimmages.

"You think they'll let me pick the teams this time?"

It's said into the mic, but Tony walking up beside you with a resounding, "Not happening." Startles you.

You get picked for Steph's team, opting for war against your skipper now that she's tripped you at least three times since the start of the session.

"I'm gonna get you, Kerr."

"You're not gonna get me."

"I will, fight me on it."

"Chew on my studs, pipsqueak."

"Alright, that's enough, you two. Save it for the scrimmage. Let's set up, you lot."

Steph has to pick you up and walk you away from Sam, a laser point glare from you over her shoulder at the skipper.

"Can you put me down now?"

"You gonna promise not to leave stud marks in Sam's shins?"

"I'll think about it."

"Oh, for the love of god, behave yourself."

It's a stern tone, and the others half to hold back laughs at your dejected expression.

"But she's so mean..."

A stern look from the older girl quietens you, and the camera zooms in on your expression. You give a small wink in its direction.

"What's that, Sammy?! Your mum loves me more than you?! Aw, how sweet is that? I always knew I was the favourite kid. It's okay. Tell Roxy I love her too!"

"Oi!"

You end up getting chased across the pitch to which you move to hide behind Alanna, poking your tongue out at Sam as she growls.

"Samantha Kerr! Back to your side of the pitch!"

It's Steph.

"But she started it!"

"Sam, I swear to god."

"Fiiiine."

You poke your tongue one last time and jog over to the defender, an innocent smile on your face.

"She's a bloody child, ay."

The glare you get from her makes you shrink a little, and Mackenzie just wacks you on the back of the head.

"Owww, Macca!"

You quieten up after that, though, and Steph starts putting everyone into positions and game plans.

-----------

*cut to about halfway through the game, Steph had initially positioned you away from the Skipper to avoid either of you fueling your apparent and sudden sibling rivalry but she ends up having to move you back anyway since you play best in the mirror position to your captain anyway.

"Steph! Hit me! Hitme! Here!"

Just like you'd been practising just minutes earlier, the ball gets sent in directly to your head and slips past Lydia when she goes down for it.

"OHHH, suck on that NeRD!"

You hop around Sam giggling when she tries to swat at you, before you all return to positions.

It's only when a camera cut to minutes later finds you and Sam battling it out in the centre.

The moment she goes for the ball, you slip past her, tapping the ball between her legs and crossing it to Alanna, who volleys it in.

The entire field just breaks into "Ohhhhh"s and whistles.

Sam does a dramatic fall to her knees and flops to the ground as you jump onto Alanna's back with a whoop.

"OH, she's spicy today, ladies and gents!"

Alanna shakes her head, dropping you from her grasp and you both return to your positions.

A couple more minutes go by.

"Oh lordy lord, she's got skill! Mini, watch right! Mini watchright! Ayy atta girl!"

And.

"Clare! I'm here! Toss me! Yepyepyep!"

"Lans! Im going! I'm runnin'!"

"Let's freaking goooo!"

-----------

*The cuts to right before the whistle blows, and Tony calls the end of training.

"Alright, well done, excellent work all of you. Rest up, recovery work, warm down. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

You jump in the centre of the huddle quickly.

"Before anyone leaves, I have an announcement... you're all on Mic'd Up with the Tillies! Photo Day edition!"

Some of the girls groan around you, Sam in particular. Some of them start laughing as you do the stealth stance.

"I was a fricken ninja, guys, I'll tell ya!"

"Yeah, Tony definitely already knew you were Mic'd up."

"Shush, you."

Tony just grins as the camera pans to him, and he winks at it.

-----------------------

[littlerosetrove]

Full acknowledgement that this is a first initial reaction, and I am in my Feelings about it. I may change my mind on some of this later, as I’m allowed, but as it stands right now? …..Do these writers even like Eddie? A bit of hyperbole, but hear me out. 

What. Was the POINT. of Eddie cheating with a doppelgänger of his dead wife when, I’m sorry, but it amounted to nothing. Not for Eddie at least. I THOUGHT the point of this soap opera stuff was that Eddie was going to start learning and healing from his trauma surrounding Shannon, but after this episode? That’s not what we got, not that I could tell. Honestly, I feel like Eddie is in the same place with his issues with Shannon if not potentially worse. Like jfc will these writers not allow Eddie, after five years, to move on from Shannon in any way? 

This is TV land, not reality. Things will not play out as they do in the real world. As a viewer this is super frustrating to see this issue be dragged out for five seasons, and what will now be beyond that. I’m sorry, but I’m So Tired of Shannon and Eddie being perpetually on this hamster wheel with her. Unless I’m sorely mistaken, but Eddie has learned nothing and dealt with nothing when it comes to Shannon, and now this show is going to drag it out into a SIXTH season of this particular issue.

The ONLY thing we got from the doppelgänger stuff was a traumatized Chris who, frankly, while he’s allowed to be upset, didn’t talk about WHY he’s even upset, not really. He at the very least said to Buck that he thought his mom was back, but she wasn’t. That’s something, but even that was not relayed to Eddie from Buck. 

So Chris is mad and called his grandparents and is going to stay with them indefinitely??? The writers had No One really communicating when it came to Chris, Eddie, his parents, or even Buck. There was some acknowledgment that Chris needs space, but idk…. Right now this feels like drama for drama's sake. I could have understood Chris wanting space for the summer, but there being no timeline to this??? That’s just unnecessarily cruel to Eddie. 

Bringing Eddie’s parents into this. I’ve seen people say “but Eddie has worked on rebuilding things with his parents, and now it’s all regressing.” That’s only partly true. Eddie has never started to work on his issues with his mom. He only worked on rebuilding something with his dad in season 5. There has been zero work to reconcile with his mom. So Helena was in character for being perfectly fine (happy) to take Chris. She may have not meant it cruelly, but her saying “if Chris forgets anything we’ll buy it for him or replace it” was mean. To me anyway.

The two good things for Eddie this season have been his new friendship with Tommy, and a consistent and strong relationship/friendship with Buck. Other that that this season has just: → made Eddie feel like he’s perpetually failing as a father → Eddie has been given no real closure or growth when it comes to Shannon, not that I could tell → continual mother issues, because Helena was happy to take Chris away from Eddie for an undisclosed amount of time

To break it all down even further, this season gave Eddie a relationship with a woman that, let’s be so for real, was pointless. Marisol was never a character. Eddie may at the very beginning gone into this relationship looking for the “magic” he had with Shannon, but that fizzled real fucking quick. There was nothing to this relationship. More than once Eddie “joked” about breaking up with Marisol, and he clearly showed disinterest in her early on. Then she was kept around to In The Background be cheated on. To tie it up the nothing burger of a relationship, there was a less than 10 second mention of an off screen breakup. Marisol had no weight in all this. Was the point of Marisol to show Chris, again, that “people don’t stick around”? Chris’s commitment issues come from his mom. Perhaps Ana leaving didn’t help matters (although we never got any insight into what Chris felt about that), but so what. We needed a third woman to leave to just compound Chris’s abandonment/commitment issues?? Nah. Just like Buck’s abandonment issues always come back to his parents, so do Chris’s (his mom). That’s the root of the issue, which means that Chris needs to go to therapy about it and Talk to his dad (although Eddie needs a ton of his own therapy first, since Eddie has Still not dealt with his Shannon issues). 

We got Chris in 7x1 maybe starting to work through his issues with his mom. Then we jump to the last episode where now Chris is angry and traumatized at seeing a clone of his mom…. For what purpose? Really. Eddie doesn’t seem to have gotten anything remotely positive out of the doppelgänger stuff, and clearly neither has Chris. So… So what was the point? To just create a rift between Eddie and Chris? To make Chris not trust his dad? Idk, pick a different method, ‘cause this was not it for me. 

When it comes to Eddie the only thing that the mess of the doppelgänger stuff has, apparently, taught Eddie is that when he does anything for himself, it will hurt Chris. Eddie, as far as I can tell, didn’t really get any kind of closure when it comes to Shannon, not based on this episode (7x10). No, instead we just have the recurring theme of Eddie feeling like he’s a failure of a father, and that all he does is hurt Chris. That’s what we’ve been given is Eddie feeling really fucking low, feeling like all his worst fears about himself are true, and now his son is gone for an indefinite amount of time. 

Eddie is left miserable, and for what? Well it damn well better be to build him back up in season 8. I know this is a drama, but come on.  Season 8 better give Eddie the time and respect he deserves. He has so many unresolved issues to work on and work through. - His issues with Shannon because apparently this show is still not fucking done with it. At this point I may accept season 8 starting with Eddie saying he went to therapy (off screen) and has worked through his Shannon issues just so that can be finally put to rest. - Eddie’s massive self worth issues especially when it comes to him being a father. His constant thought - compounded by his mom who has only ever seen Eddie as a failure - that he’s failing as a dad. - Eddie and his mom issues. Will those ever be addressed? - Eddie and Chris will need to rebuild a bridge together and heal. - Eddie is having an identity crisis because he does not even know what he wants (brought up in 7x9). He’s never been given the time or space to think about who he, just Eddie, even is. - Here’s to hoping this show sticks with the hints they’ve given, and that is Eddie going on his own queer journey. It clearly won’t be as smooth sailing as Buck because nothing is ever easy for Eddie.

EDIT: Some will miss this because it's been reblogged, but in short? Um. Eddie had no growth this season... Superb.

[alicerosejensen]

Infinite darkness Leon with a calm soft reader,he found her awake looking behind the glasses in Early in the morning remember the past,so he wants to Leave these thoughts from her behind and go back to sleep(their already in fourteen, like sugar mommy and daddy;)...)

Warning: fluff, soft reader, hint of sugar daddy (Barely a hint) , the reader's traumatic past; Poor eyesight, reader wears glasses.

Note: I hope I translated the request correctly. In general, it is surprising that I write fluff and not Hurt.

Sunlight through the soft curtains penetrated in thin beams of weak light into the bedroom. It was a time when he was not touched during the vacation. With Leon's work, you can never be sure that he will not be called at any moment to be sent on another mission, but so far everything was calm Leon just rented a house by the lake for a week and took you with him to enjoy peace and quiet. He even likes this life, almost remote from the bustle of the city, in a small cozy house, when the neighbors do not make noise in the evening and he can just sit with you on the couch embracing watching some program or movie while your head lies on his chest.

He had a sweet night full of tenderness, love and wet kisses with passionate confessions of devotion. Leon left traces of his love on you when he grabbed your waist slowly and deeply moving inside you, giving pleasure, finding the perfect contrast to make you feel good with him. He whispered and promised to give you everything you deserve and you knew that he would rather die than break his promises.

His sweet beloved angel... You were sleeping and Leon was just picking through your strands for a long time and kissing your back while you were sleeping on your stomach quite a light sleep. He just knew that you two needed to leave for a while. In the end, Leon thought a change of scenery would be a good cure for unpleasant memories of the past.

However, what he didn't expect was that if he woke up too early, he wouldn't find your body next to him in bed. Usually he always hugged you tightly, this made the joint sleep quite deep, helping to relax, and it was not easy to break out of his grip. Although, it would be more correct to say that it was impossible to escape from the captivity of Leon S. Kennedy without forcing him to wake up, but somehow you managed it.

The wristwatch that was lying on the bedside table showed Leon only five in the morning. He casually threw them back looking around the room in search of you, noticing one small detail - the clothes he took off from you in the evening also disappeared somewhere. However, it is unlikely that you could have gone far.

"Sweetheart?" Leon called loudly, putting on boxers and pants to go downstairs.

Fortunately, the anxiety disappeared as soon as you appeared in his field of vision, sitting in an armchair in panties, one T-shirt and your glasses, which you wore only when you sat down to work. Leon's hands slid over your shoulders making you jump in surprise

"Oh, it's you…" you sighed with relief when you got comfortable in the armchair that you turned to the window to look at the sunrise over the lake. The view was really beautiful. "I was already hoping that I could lull the vigilance of Super Agent Kennedy"

Leon grinned, but his smile faded when he noticed that the trip didn't make you feel any better. The mood remained the same melancholic and even last night could not fix the situation in any way. He took you for a walk in the woods, watched some meaningless movie on this old TV, had great sex with you, but you were still not with him. Somewhere out there alone with myself.

Leon walked around the armchair, standing right in front of you and slowly pulled the glasses off your face. You stared at him with surprised eyes when his silhouette became slightly blurred due to poor eyesight, but before protesting, his hands grabbed your face when he bent down to kiss you with a demanding kiss not devoid of tenderness and passion.

"You'll have to train for a long time for that, sunshine." He merrily remarked, interrupting the kiss, but continuing to squeeze your cheeks in his palms, stroking them with his thumb, while his forehead was pressed against yours. "We didn't come here to get up so early."

"I know…" you gasped, pulling away from him, immediately shuddering from the cool air, from which your skin is covered with goosebumps. "I just can't forget about what happened. I keep running away from the past, and when I think it's all over, it's over… finds me again"

"I'm sorry I'm ruining your vacation," you drawled in frustration, looking at the notebook on the table with which you came here with him.

"Don't say that!" Leon objected and you are touched by him and the care and tenderness with which he treats you when he takes you by the hand and pulls you towards him, forcing you to get up from the armchair.

"Listen, it's very nice and quiet here. No one but the two of us and possibly annoying birds that sing incessantly. You're safe here with me, and believe me, I won't let anything or anyone disturb our peace. We deserve it. And when we get home, we will solve everything that worries us. I brought you here to distract you and calm down and not worry even more."

That was Leon's whole point. Your Leon. Pressing you to his chest while his hands stroke your back and his lips gently kiss your temple. This person is ready to be your saving beacon for the rest of his life, and no matter how selfish it was, but you really liked the idea that you could entrust your worries to him and he would do everything to heal your wounds. It seems that the world does not deserve this man, but he is there and he is yours. The warmth of his hands was like the embrace of a July paradise in which you settled forever and it seems only for you there was a place.

Your heart began to beat in its natural calm rhythm when Leon literally covered you with his body, burying his nose in the top of his head, kissing her.

"Come on! Let's go back to bed and continue our sleep and then… and then we'll decide along the way and we won't get ahead of ourselves even"

Leon does everything for your endless happiness, which makes it seem to you that in this house the two of you could stay together for a thousand years, no one would find you. Not his job, not your traumatic past. And let this thousand years last only a week, it will remain in your memory forever as one of their most precious memories when Leon grabs you in his arms in a wedding style to go back to bed and you cuddle up to him sweetly wrapping your bodies in a warm blanket feeling how he hugs you to him.

Because he loves and will love for a very long long time…

[ramblers-lets-get-ramblin]

When My Time Comes Around- Part Three

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Part One | Part Two

Summary: You and Joel heal from the trauma of the last twenty years. We find out what the next twenty have in store for you.

Word Count: 5.2k

Rating: E for EXPLICIT MDNI 18+

Warnings: SMUT! unprotected PIV, oral sex m!receiving, pregnancy and childbirth but not super detailed, major character death, grief, child loss

Immersability: Reader can get pregnant/ give birth

Author’s Notes: A HUGE THANK YOU to @wannab-urs. if it wasn't for you this fic wouldn't exist. Thank you for letting me yell about this to you and I'm (kinda) sorry it made you cry so much.

Thank you to everyone who read, commented or reblogged this story. It is so special to me and your support and love for it means the world to me. I know it isn't the easiest read so it really means a lot that you all stuck around. To reward you: Have a disgustingly sweet and fluffy happy ever after! I love you all!

Having Joel around the farm, fully healed, makes you realize that you weren’t handling things as well by yourself as you had previously thought. The first item on his to do list, the one he made for himself, was to repair the roof. “How are you so good at this?” You ask him. You are standing on the roof, handing him nails from a box. You suspect the tool bags hanging from his waist would have held the nails at least as well as you, but this way he gets to spend time with you. It was quite a shock to your system, having him around. You spent sixteen years in near complete solitude, and the five years before that were spent with people you had known your entire life. Sometimes, you wake up in the middle of the night with Joel’s arms wrapped around you and your first instinct is fear. Who is this? How did they get here? When that happens, Joel just squeezes you tighter and whispers in your ear.

“It’s okay, baby.” He says. “It’s just me. I won’t let anything hurt you.” He promises. And you believe him. You let his words and his arms lull you back to sleep. 

It’s been six months since you found Joel dying in the snow. Six months since you told him about the deaths of your family. He tried to leave you that night and you somehow ended up in bed together, the same way you have every night since. Joel still hasn’t opened up anymore about his daughter, Ellie. “She died.” Is all the explanation you got. You didn’t press, the same way he never pushed you. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. He doesn’t seem that interested in talking much about his past.  Every question you ask is met with a grunt or another question. 

Joel looks at you sometimes like he’s trying to figure out if you’re real. He holds onto you so tightly, as if you might float away without him anchoring you to the ground. Whatever has happened to him has traumatized him so badly that he can barely stand to let you out of his sight. You tried to tell him that the daily chores would go by faster if the two of you split up but he wouldn’t hear any of that. “I like doin’ ‘em with you.” He’d said. Then he busied himself removing your clothes. He was good at that. Distracting you with his hands, his fingers, his mouth. And who were you to argue? You hadn’t expected to ever have anything like this again, much less something this good. Not that you had a lot to compare him to. You’d only ever been with Danny. But Joel was a master at taking you apart, piece by piece, and putting you back together. You don’t think there’s a room in this house that he hasn’t fucked you in. But his favorite place, and yours, is on the rug in front of the fireplace. The only sounds to be heard are the crackling of the roaring fire and the wet slap of skin on skin. 

It takes Joel another six months before he finally tells you about his past. How Ellie died, about his first daughter, Sarah, and her death. It takes him a little longer to open up about the rest of it. Tommy, Marlene, Tess. He doesn’t dump it all on you at once, just drops little snippets here and there. He’s chopping wood for winter when he tells you about the circumstances that led to you finding him bleeding out into a ditch. You could feel his hesitancy to show you the darker parts of his soul. The part of his heart that turned him into the man who slaughtered an entire building full of Fireflies. How the loss of his daughters turned him into a mean drunk who blamed the only family he had left and pushed him out of his life, probably forever. He swung his ax as he told you, the pile of firewood growing larger every moment. You think he must have needed to be busy while he did, so that he wouldn’t flee like he probably wanted to. It takes him longer than it ever has for him to meet your eyes again. When he does, he looks like he’s about to vomit. You stand from the stump you are sitting on and walk over to him. When you reach out to comfort him, he flinches away from your touch. “Joel?” You ask, tentatively reaching for him again. He allows you to wrap your hand around his bicep, but his gaze has returned to the ground. “What’s wrong?”

He takes in a shaky breath, his chest heaves and he finally meets your eyes. “I just- i don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve this life.” He gestures around with his arm. “All the bad shit I’ve done. Someone like me doesn’t deserve to be this happy.” He says.

“Joel, you know I don’t care about any of that. Anything you did before you came here doesn’t matter to me. The Joel who did that stuff isn’t the same Joel who I’ve spent the last year with.” You try to assure him.

“That’s the thing, darlin’. I’m still that man.” He jabs a finger into his chest. “That man is still in here. And if anyone or anything ever tried to hurt you, he’d bust out of the cage he’s in. In a heartbeat.” You shake your head and look up at him.

“I don’t care, Joel. I love you anyway.” Joel’s voice gets caught in his throat when he speaks next. His eyes shine with tears that threaten to spill over.

“You- you love me?” He asks. You grab his hand and tug him into the house. 

Once you are inside you walk over to the fireplace and get a fire going. Joel still has the ax in his hand. He just stands there, watching you numbly. When your hands move to the buttons of your flannel, Joel’s flannel, and begin unbuttoning, a fire lights in his eyes. He tosses the ax to the ground and crosses the room in three steps. His own flannel is already unbuttoned and his salt and pepper chest hair peeks out over the top of his sweat damp muscle shirt. You pull it down over his arms, taking your time to feel the taut muscles of his biceps. You drop the flannel to the floor, and Joel repeats the motion with yours. You reach behind you and unclasp your bra, while he pulls the muscle shirt over his head. You both toe off your boots and you shuck your jeans off as quickly as you can. Wearing just your underwear, you stand in front of Joel and drop to your knees. You unbuckle his belt and then unbutton his jeans. He helps you pull them down and he steps out of them. He doesn’t wear underwear and his cock bobs under the weight of itself. The corners of your mouth sting as you open wide enough to accommodate him. “Oh, fuck, baby.” Joel says quietly when he hits the back of your mouth. You hollow your cheeks and run your tongue on the underside of him. He hisses and his hips twitch towards you, going even further down your throat. “You’re too good to me, baby. I don’t deserve you.” He almost whispers. His praise jolts through your body. You can feel the fabric of your panties growing damp. You pull him out of your mouth with a pop. Joel grabs your hands and helps you to your feet. 

Joel sucks your bottom lip in between his teeth. He growls at the taste of himself on your mouth. You can feel his cock twitch where it is sandwiched between your bodies. You moan into his mouth and squeeze your thighs together. “I need you, Joel.” You tell him. You lie down on the rug in front of the fireplace and Joel drops to his knees in between yours. He removes your panties and tosses them to the side. He places his hands on the floor beside your ribs and leans down. He captures your lips in another kiss. You can feel everything Joel feels for you in that kiss. Gratitude, admiration, love. His hand moves between your thighs, circling your clit with his thumb, not breaking the kiss. You arch your back into his touch and your nipples graze his bare chest. The sensation sends a chill through your entire body. You buck your hips into Joel’s hand and he rewards you with two thick fingers. You’re so wet already that they slide right in. You’re already so close. You don’t need to say anything, Joel can tell. He can always tell. The whimpers that fall from your mouth are like music to Joel’s ears. Once your pussy has stopped fluttering around his fingers he gently removes them. He uses the slick that is coating his hand to stroke his cock a few times. He lines himself up at your entrance and gives you a moment to catch your breath. When he plunges inside you, he doesn’t hesitate, he goes to the hilt. The feeling of your walls molding around him, rearranging to fit him, nearly sends him over the edge already. Joel makes love to you, soft and sweet. He takes his time, pulling your orgasm from you slowly. When you clench around him you tug on his curls that are threaded between your fingers. “I love you, Joel.” You whisper into his ear. Your confession draws his own orgasm out. You feel him pulse inside you and a warmth floods your body and his spend coats your walls.

“I love you, too, baby.” He takes you three more times that night. Another time in front of the fireplace, once while you are bent over the back of the couch, and again in the shower. When the two of you finally collapse into bed that night, your legs and knees hurt. Your pussy is sore and puffy and dripping Joel. For the first time in almost a year, Joel doesn't call out for his lost daughters in his sleep. 

Looking back, you’re pretty sure that was the night that you got pregnant. It took several months before either of you figured out what was happening. Though you suppose that you were both probably more in denial than oblivious. You were terrified at the thought of bringing yet another child into this fucked up world. Terrified that something might happen to it. You and Joel hadn’t had much luck in the kid department. You felt fucking awful thinking it, but how were the two of you supposed to keep a baby safe. You thought you were isolated enough from the infection, from other people the first time. But it fucking found you. It found you and took everything from you. You haven’t had anyone to love in sixteen years. There was nobody to look out for anymore, besides yourself. Now you have someone, two someones soon, and all you can think about is the terrible ways that you can lose them both. Then you remember that you have to tell him. This isn’t something that is going to go away on its own. You won’t even be able to hide it much longer. You're almost sure that if anything can send him sprinting as far away from here as he can get, it would be this. You find him in the barn, tending to the goats. He’s holding one of the babies that was born recently, and you don’t think that you’ve ever found him more attractive.

“Joel?” He stops making kissy faces at the goat and looks up at you.

“Yeah, baby?” He asks. You don’t step any closer, standing just inside the open barn doors.

“I need to tell you something.” He kisses the top of the goats head and plops him back down onto the hay. The goat runs to his mother and Joel stands from the squatting position he was in. He wipes his hands on his jeans and walks over to you. His palm cups your jaw and his fingers wrap around the back of your neck. He tilts your head back and kisses you on the forehead.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?” The concern in his eyes causes your heart to clench. You can’t bear to disappoint him. You can’t be the cause of more heartache in his life, more despair. You inhale a ragged breath, trying to work up the nerve to let the confession spill forth. 

“I think- I think I’m pregnant, Joel.” You don’t know why you added the “think” part. You are pregnant, have been for months. Tears gush from your eyes, soaking your cheeks. You bury your face in Joel’s chest and he squeezes you tightly. You are babbling about how sorry you are, how you never meant for this to happen. Joel shushes you, he softly strokes your hair.

“Hey. It’s okay. I know.” He says. You don’t hear him because you’re still sobbing. “Hey!” He says, firmer this time, louder. The commanding tone of his voice grabs your attention. You sniff the snot back into your nose and wipe your face with the back of your hand. Your brain finally catches up to your ears.

“What did you just say?” Joel chuckles quietly and gives your lips a soft, chaste kiss.

“Come with me.” He leads you by the hand out of the barn. He walks you down the hill, to the workshop. Your father used to spend hours in here, woodworking and tinkering. He and Danny built the crib that sits in the room Joel occupied when he first arrived. One of the tables is strewn with bits of metal and tools.

“What is all this, Joel?” You ask.

“I’ve been workin’ on getting the radio goin’.” He tells you.

“Why?” Is he planning to leave? Would he actually abandon you? Leave you all alone with a baby?

“Well, I figured I’d try and get a hold of Tommy. Thought we might be able to go visit over there. Or maybe him and Maria could come here, ya know. When the baby comes.” Your heart swells at the thought. You know how much Joel regrets the things he said to his brother when they last spoke. How much he wishes he could take it all back.

“I would like that.” You tell him and his eyes light up. “It might be better if they are willing to come here, though. I don’t think we can leave the animals all alone that long.”

Joel thinks for a moment and nods. “Yeah, I think you’re right about that, darlin’.” 

By the time Tommy and Maria finally make it, you’re about ready to pop. They show up with their own son in tow, now a full blown toddler. Maria gets out of the truck and sets him down on the grass. Tommy walks around the front of the truck and kneels down. He whispers something into his son’s ear while pointing at Joel. The boy’s face lights up and he runs towards where you and Joel stand. “Uncle Joel!” He shouts. Joel bends down and catches him in his arms when he leaps. Joel speaks quietly to him, presses kisses into his temple. They look so much alike, Joel and his brother and nephew. You wonder if your own baby will have the same curls, the same brown eyes. Joel’s misty eyes mirror your own. He places the boy into his mother’s arms and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

“You look good, Joel.” She says with a smile.

“All thanks to her.” He replies, nodding his head in your direction. Maria walks over to you and introduces herself.

“We brought some supplies. Joel said y’all had plenty of medical stuff so we brought some other stuff I thought y’all might need.” She says. “I’ll have the boys lug it all when once they’re finished.” You both turn to look at them. They’re standing at the tailgate of the truck, not speaking. They don’t look at each other either. Joel looks at his boots, towing the grass. Tommy seems fascinated by the cowboy hat turning in his hands. Maria clears her throat loudly and they both look up at her. She taps her wrist, where a watch would sit and both men sigh. The sight of the two men, who look so much alike, mirroring each other’s actions, makes you giggle. Then they both begin speaking at once, causing you all to laugh.

“You go first.” Tommy offers. 

You decide to give them some privacy, you motion for Maria to follow you inside the house. “Wow!” She exclaims. “This place is really something.” You lead her down the hall to your old room, the one with the crib, where they will be staying. Her eyes meet yours and the shared look of pain that passes between the two of you doesn’t need any elaboration. The look of a mother who has had to bury their child. Maria places a hand softly on your shoulder in understanding. You lean into her touch. Though you are no longer the touch-starved, near-feral woman you were almost two years ago, this is something altogether different. The feminine touch of someone who is the closest thing you’ll ever have to a sister again is irresistible. She wraps her arm, the one not holding her baby, around your shoulder and draws you in close. Your bump is safely nestled between your bodies and she comforts you as you cry into her shoulder. She rubs her hand up and down your back, soothing you. Just as you lift your head from her now tear soaked shoulder, you hear the front door. The men are laughing, a sound you haven't heard much from Joel, and your heart soars. You wipe your tears from your eyes and begin to apologize to Maria.

“I’m so sorry.” You chuckle. “These damn hormones.” You explain.

“Don’t worry about it.” She assures you with a warm smile. 

That night, when Joel joins you in bed, you can feel how much lighter he seems. He drapes his arm over you, cupping a protective hand around your belly.  The baby starts kicking like crazy, just like he always does when his dad is nearby. You aren’t sure how, but you just know that it’s going to be a boy. After dinner, Maria took you to the living room to sort through the boxes of supplies they had brought. One of the boxes was full to the brim with baby clothes. The various sizes were enough to keep the baby clothed for probably the first year of his life. Joel's heart swells at the sight of you folding the tiny clothes and putting them into the dresser you had emptied out and he had moved to the master bedroom, your bedroom now. The two of you needed more space,  now that you were about to become the three of you. 

Three days after Tommy and Maria arrive, your son, Samuel Elliot Miller makes his entrance into the world. Labor was much more difficult than you remembered it being, but perhaps that's because you weren't nineteen anymore. Maria performed the delivery. Something she had done many times in Jackson. Joel held your hand the entire time. His presence grounded you. His soothing words of praise calmed you. “You're doing so good, baby. I know it hurts, but all the pain is gonna be worth it when you see our baby.” He'd said. And it was. It was worth every searing second. Now, holding your son, you can hardly even recall the pain. He has big brown eyes and the tiniest little nose. His full head of dark brown hair, almost black, is so soft you wanna nuzzle your nose in it forever. You want to hold him in your arms and never let him go. But after an hour, exhaustion overcomes you. You hand Samuel to his father and welcome the nothingness of sleep. 

Joel would never admit it, but he was hoping for a boy. When you asked he just said he didn't care, “As long as it's healthy I'll be happy.” He sits in the rocking chair he'd started building for you months ago, before you even told him you were pregnant, and rocks his son gently. He gazes down at his sleeping face, looking for which features he got from each of you. There are tears in his eyes as he whispers softly to him. “I'll never let anything happen to you. I promise I'm gonna take care of you and your mama for the rest of my life. I love you both so much” He doesn’t notice that you’ve woken, nor that you heard every word of his promises, until he hears you sniffle. He stands carefully, and walks over to you. You slide over and he climbs in, carefully cradling your son’s head. His free arm circles your shoulders and draws you in tight. You rest your head on his shoulder and the two of you stare at your sleeping baby.

“Look what we did.” You whisper to Joel and gently stroke the slope of Samuel’s nose. Joel kisses the crown of your head.

“You did all the hard work, baby.” He says. When you chuckle, he continues. “I mean it, darlin’. You saved my life. In more ways than one.”

Tommy and Maria stay for a few more days, but eventually they have to get back to Jackson. They promise to be back soon to visit, and to keep in communication via radio. You and Maria hug, more words of understanding go unspoken between you. The guilt of having a child after having lost one. The weight of the responsibility that carries sits heavy on both of your shoulders. But having someone with whom to help carry the burden, eases the pain a little. Tommy and Joel stand side by side next to Tommy’s truck. Both looking down at Samuel, eyes full of hope and love and their own shared grief. Finally, Maria breaks the moment, reminding her husband of the long and precarious drive ahead. Goodbyes are said all around, and you and Joel retreat to the comfort of your home. Joel can hardly sleep a wink those first few days. He just flits back and forth between the bed and the crib, keeping a steady watch over the loves of his life. 

Maria and Tommy make good on their promise to visit. They come to spend two weeks with you and Joel, twice a year. Eventually, they convince you to return the favor and come visit them in Jackson. Joel and Tommy are closer than they have ever been. Watching their sons play side by side feels like more than either man thinks they deserve. Three years after Sam was born, you give birth to another son, Thomas Daniel. Sam is thrilled to be an older brother. You never would have guessed that you would be a mother again at forty, but wouldn’t change it for anything. Tommy keeps trying to convince you and Joel to move to Jackson permanently. “The kids can grow up together. It’s safer in a community than it is out here alone.” He says. Joel remains unconvinced.

“This is where we want to raise our kids.” He tells him every time. “Y’all are more than welcome to move over here.” He offers. The four of you are always at an impasse when it comes to this topic. 

You and Joel live a quiet, fulfilling life with your sons. You work the land, and care for the animals. Joel teaches them to build and repair pretty much everything under the sun. You teach them how to cook, and sew. Joel teaches them how to shoot, how to hunt. You get to do something neither of you had ever imagined you’d get to do again. Live . You no longer merely survive, just hoping to get the next day. You have a life. A family. Somehow, after all of these years, that thread that drew you and Joel together has never frayed. If anything it’s strengthened. Each year, a new thread weaves itself with the others. A thick, braided cord ties your heart to his now. Two people who thought themselves damaged, broken. Each letting the other heal you, break down the walls you had both built around your hearts. 

By the time the boys are teenagers, they are itching to have more in their lives. They’ve grown used to spending time in Jackson with their aunt and uncle, with their cousins, with more people to talk to than just their parents. You and Joel have begun letting them stay for a few months at a time. Sam drives them on his own now. At eighteen he’s plenty responsible to manage a few hours' drive. Neither you nor Joel can settle until they call on the radio, letting you know that they’ve made it. They are  readying their things for their trip, packing clothes and checking on the animals. You and Joel hover, making sure they have everything they need. They won’t leave for a few days yet, but like their parents, they like to be prepared. After dinner, the boys offer to clean the kitchen. You and Joel retire to the front porch. Joel has trouble getting around these days. Considering he’s in his seventies, and the hell his body has been through over the last forty years, it’s a wonder he can walk at all. Sam made him a cane in the workshop a few years back, but he refuses to use it. “I can get around just fine on my own, goddamnit.” He says when you or the boys offer him assistance. 

You lean against the porch railing and Joel stands next to you. You gaze across your land, bathed in the golden light of the sunset. Your gaze pulls towards your husband, and you find him staring at you. His brown curls have gone fully gray, there’s no longer any pepper in the salt of his still patchy beard. “What?” You ask, smiling.

His eyes crinkle in the corners when he returns your smile. “Nothin’.” He says. “Just doin’ the same as you. Appreciatin’ the view.” He sidles up behind you and wraps his arms around your middle. You place your hands over his and he rests his head on your shoulder. You sink back into the softness of his belly. His arms and chest are just as firm as they’ve always been. Even now, twenty years on, he still rises with the sun and does the daily farm chores. The boys do most of the wood chopping these days, but Joel still prefers to oversee the care of the animals himself. He presses a kiss into your neck and sighs.

“What’s wrong?” You ask. He squeezes you a bit tighter.

“Nothin’s wrong at all, baby. Just wonderin’ how I got so lucky, is all. This life that we built here, its more than I ever thought I would have again after losing my girls. Hell, it’s more than I deserve.” Joel spins you around and backs you up against the porch railing. “I love you so goddamn much, darlin’.” And he kisses you with the same fervor and hunger as he always has. You fall asleep wrapped in his arms, the same way you have for the last twenty years. The warmth of his body and the soft sound of his breath lull you to sleep. 

You always knew that Joel would be gone before you. With almost twenty years’ age difference, and given the world you lived in, it was inevitable. Most people don’t get the luxury of living to a ripe, old age anymore. Much less the dignity of dying peacefully in their sleep. Of course you are sad, but this isn’t the devastation that prior losses have brought. You and Joel had worked out the logistics of the others’ wishes a long time ago. Unsurprisingly, Joel didn’t want to hear yours. “I think we both know I’m goin’ long before you do, sweetheart. In fact, I insist on it.” He’d said as you laid on that rug in front of the fire. You sat between his legs, leaned back against his chest, his hands stroking your ever growing bump. While you laughed, his face remained stony and unchanged. “I mean it, I forbid you to die before me.” You just rolled your eyes and reached up to kiss him.

“Okay, Joel. I promise to let you die first.” You assured him. 

You held up your end of the deal, you suppose. The boys wrap him up in the blanket from your bed and carry him to the living room. They lay him on the rug in front of the fireplace, his favorite place in the whole house. They slip out of the house quietly to begin the tasks that need handling. Sam goes into the workshop to call Tommy, and Thomas goes to the barn and pulls out the shovels. You and Joel had already chosen your spots in the wildflower field long ago, and showed the boys for when the time came. You expected that thread, the one that’s kept you tethered to him for the last twenty years, to be gone. Snipped in half when the love of your life closed his eyes for the last time. But you still feel it, pulling you towards where he lies cold on the floor. You lay down next to your husband and you rest your head on his chest and drape your arm across his chest. Your tears soak through the thick fabric of the quilt. He still smells like himself, you think. It almost feels like he’s still there, just sleeping, but not quite. It takes you a moment to figure out what’s missing. The steady thumping of his heart that you’d grown used to hearing when you laid your head in this spot. You remain there, soaking up as much of him as you can, until Samuel lifts you from the floor and carries you to your bed. 

You lay joel to rest in the field behind the barn. In the field where the rest of your family lies, and someday you will too. The only six people in the world that Joel cared about are in attendance. When the last bit of displaced dirt is settled over him, you all take turns placing flowers from the field on top. Everyone has a moment to say their private goodbyes. You kneel down in the dirt and place your hand on top, hoping to feel him again, if just for a moment. When nothing comes, you let the flowers fall from your hand. “Goodbye, my love.” You softly whisper into the wind, urging it to carry your words to where he can hear them.

When my time comes around,

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down.

I’ll crawl home to her

-Hozier, ‘Work Song’

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[visenyaism]

hi mirri asker again. i'll preface this by saying that i think you're one of the best asoiaf writers around and i agree with 95% of your takes lol so please don't take this as me being a hater™

(i'll also add that i believe dany knew rhaego was the price for saving drogo and jorah going to the tent is what fucked up the ritual and left drogo mostly dead)

i just can't reconcile your interpretation of dany as specifically breaking the cycle / being the antithesis to all targaryens who came before her when the very first thing she does upon being given real power is burn her slave alive as a human sacrifice, which (assuming you believe rhaella and/or rhaegar were going to be sacrificed at Summerhall + Valyrians used slaves as blood sacrifices etc) is kinda the most Targ thing you could possibly do

(that also being said i don't think her murdering mirri is a sign of her being super dragon hitler like in the show but more her being a deeply traumatised child who was a slave like five seconds ago lashing out horrifically + acting out her visions)

I think my interpretation of what happened with mirri is pretty much just what you said in that last paragraph. I don’t think she was like calculating this at all. she was a super traumatized 15-year-old who just had a really horrible magically exacerbated stillbirth and was lashing out at the person who she thinks caused it. I don’t think it was an “I will sacrifice her to get dragons back” situation like summerhall. I think she just wanted her dead because she was extremely upset. which isn’t necessarily an ethical use of power but it’s also pretty understandable how someone would get to that point, especially if they are a child. 

I also don’t think that’s antithetical to dany’s role in the narrative as a liberator or a cyclebreaker. she does not always get it right and I think the broader arc of narrative is about how trying to change the world or create a better society can also do a lot of harm because it is dangerous it is an overwhelming task. i think bringing the dragons back is her entry into this stage of being a significant global actor with huge amounts of power and I think it’s a lot more narratively interesting to have that moment be ethically complicated because she killed mirri. magic has a cost as does power even if you intend to use it to help other people. I think that says a lot about who she is and who she’s going to be.

[the-radio-star]

"I can't believe the whole team just broke up post season 7 and now only talk once a year"

wrong they just spent years constantly trying to stop the world from ending and never having any time for their lives outside of SHIELD. They're now each taking a few years to pursue their own lives-- this is super healthy!!!

daisy isn't going to be in space forever. it's like a sibling going off to college. fitz and simmons are first time parents contending with a toddler. and coulson earned that sabbatical. especially in these first few years after season 7, getting all of them in the same room is nearly impossible. even real families and friendgroups have phases like that! and it's clear from their conversation that they all have been talking regularly in-between anyways and making future plans.

so in three years? five years?

you're telling me fitzsimmons don't enlist may's help with babysitting? mack, elena, coulson, and may hanging at the end of the day to talk SHIELD gossip? (without the pressure of the world on the line!) piper and davis rallying the group to throw a "welcome back to earth" party for the astro ambassadors when they return?!

all of them took time away from the group before, why would this be any different? they're still friends, they're still in the same field, they just have lives outside of SHIELD now!!! and that's a good thing, that's the good ending!

"this will be your last mission together"

good!!! no more traumatic missions!! now they can just focus on being silly and being friends!!!!

[scintillyyy]

anyways. i'm sorry, but the trend towards the idea that tim makes dick's trauma about himself is always gonna something that genuinely baffles me because 1) tim??? very much doesn't????? he's always extremely apologetic whenever he does bring up the fact that dick's parents' death traumatized him (& again. witnessing a death, even of a stranger, is traumatic. tim. would. have. trauma. from. this. so would everyone in the audience that night. dick is the center of the trauma, but that doesn't invalidate anyone else's. the problem with dick's parents death being so public is that, while his personal tragedy is solely about him, the death itself touched so many lives aside from him--it happening in the public sphere inherently created far more victims with everyone who had to witness people dying than being alone in an alleyway does) and 2) dick *himself* is never super bothered by tim having trauma from dick's tragedy and most of the time *dick is the one bringing the topic up for him & tim to discuss*

like. my guess would be that it's stems from the gain in popularity of ring theory--which i do like--that makes people think it's inappropriate to talk to someone about something that hurt or traumatized them forever & you should never, never talk about your own personal feelings about the event to them. which is. hm. the point of ring theory is to not dump on someone who is *actively in a crisis*, once they're not *in a crisis* then the idea of comfort in/comfort out becomes a lot murkier & grey area because people do talk about things *when they process grief and feelings together*. you don't just like. never bring up the topic to them again??? like if dick had lost his parents and five minutes later tim had been like "wow. i was really affected by that" to him that would go against appropriate comfort in/comfort out. talking about a tragic event they both experienced years later & one that *dick is not actively in crisis about because dick has long since grappled with his grief* is not going against any the concepts of appropriate comfort in/comfort out. it's just. having a conversation. of which tim is usually apologetic about even having.

[iwanty0uu]

a/n: y/n is black, whatever body type you prefer, and is about 20, she’s also in college and is a nurse in training so you know she gets money, and on top of that she’s a nail tech so she’s usually super busy. ~ keep that in mind !

Onyankopon was extremely toxic, no matter how many times he loved bombed you after arguments that he knew he had the wrong in, or fucked you until you forgave him, it was undeniable that he was toxic. It all started after a long day of work, the hospital bustling since it was the night before Halloween. People did stupid things all the time but man the shit you saw that night was just absurd, on top of that you had a nail appointment as soon as your shift ended, so there shouldn’t have been a surprise when you stumbled into your apartment complex forty five minutes past eleven with a pounding headache, and a desire for comfort from your boyfriend after the traumatic night you had.

press me

The soft sound of your light switch filled the empty apartment, a linen colored light illuminated the kitchen and living room, the purple crocs you kicked off flipped them selves over at the door. Throwing the keys on the counter and washing your hands, you couldn’t help but rest your head in them. You love your job, but its so tiring.. every day it feels like the world is moving at one hundred miles per hour and you cant catch up. Tears no longer threatened to spill, they were overflowing. You sobbed, headache worsening, heart aching from the stress and the pain, however your sobs drowned out the vibration from your phone which was forgotten after you took your shirt off, and threw it on your living room floor. A trail of scrubs were left behind leading to the bathroom, as you turned the shower on, not even waiting for the water to heat up and hopped in. Practically washing yourself in your tears, you placed your head on the wet wall next to you, going light headed from the steam, you felt drained.. so empty, and you needed a hug, so that’s what you decided to get. The water was stopped and the floor dampened after coming in contact with your wet feet, the robe you put on felt warm, it’s the closest thing to human touch that you’ve felt in a while, and the shower really did help you feel better. After a good cry, you decided to postmates some food and call your best friend Jayleen to see if she wanted to come over and watch some shows and eat and cry with you, but you were met with 28 missed calls from your boyfriend, and over 50 text messages. Great. You didn’t call him after work to tell him you got home late, and considering that he loved to make shit what it wasn’t, you know that he would have your ass in the morning, and honestly it was too much. He isn’t your father and he clocks your every move.

A sigh escaped your lips as you grabbed a cold bottle of water and let that problem wait for tomorrow and it’s own set of troubles. That was until three sudden thumps hit your door, making you jump, water bottle falling out of your hands. “The fuck banging on my shit so late” you complained cleaning up the mess as your headache settled back in. Clothes still on the floor, you opened the door to face with your “man”. The darkskin in an all black nike tech suit, and yeezy slides had his arms folded over his chest, hoodie up and durag on, only showing a portion of his head, but his dark and angry eyes met yours. You felt tears sting your eyes again, knowing that he was here to argue. “So you not finna let-“ you cut him off “Please don’t start Onyankopon. I’m so exhausted and I’ve had a terrible day at work. I understand I didn’t call you when I got home and that I missed your 28 calls but I was in the shower. Do you feel better about yourself now? I dont give two flying fucks if you’re here to accuse me of cheating again and I’m not boutta force you to believe me when you’re delusional lame ass love making shit up in your head. So stop wasting my fuckin time and leave me the fuck alone.You’re not here when you need to be so you can keep suckin your other hoes off. I could care less,nigga you’re bitch made.”

Your words strong, and it felt like a strong blow to Ony. Tears were running down your face as you practically begged him to stay out of your life, but he still pushed his way through your human barricade, and scanned your apartment. “The fuck your clothes on the floor for, you got other niggas in here?” he asked taking his hood off. You stood there looking at him, words couldn’t describe how much of an idiot this little boy really was. “Did this fucker not hear a word that I just said?” you asked yourself. Your head was hurting and stress was already taking a hold of you, since he didn’t understand english, you had to show him how serious you were about this. If he thought your words hurt, then he underestimated how strong your actual hands were. You landed a slap to his face which sent his airpod flying. It took everything in you not to Madea his ass with a pan of grits but seeing his reaction to your anger was price-less. “GET THE FUCK OUT.” You didnt have to yell for your voice to resemble your mother’s. Stern, sharp, and filled with anger. “You want me to fuck other niggas so I will. Get. The. Fuck. Out.” You said as he stood there, brows furrowed. He watched you grab the top part of your robe, holding them together for comfort as you pointed to the open door. Bonnet revealing the small knot that ties your silk head wrap together. You pushed your glasses up, narrowing your eyes at the bitch in front of you. Everyone in the complex probably heard the argument. No, most definitely heard the argument, your neighbor came out with a broom and was “sweeping the carpet” at one in the morning. Nosy ass.

Onyankopon’s POV:

It took everything in me to keep my laugh in at the sight of the girl. She looked like my mom while scolding me, but she love me too much to let me go for real. “Baby I’m sorry” I said trying to touch her, “Alright I’m done now” i said laughing but she backed away like she was afraid of me. She’s not deadass the fuck she won’t let me touch her for? Nah bro she really got me fucked up this time. “Stop acting like you not finna fuck and forgive me after.” I said sitting on a stool, leaning back on her island. Yea I have my days but she know how i am.. right? “Bitch don’t ‘baby’ me” she said staring me down, eyes still teary, but so soft. I know she still love me.. I mean this wasn’t even our worst argument so i don’t understand the problem. “Alright now you hit me and you got your point across, so let’s jus finish this like usual alright baby.” Putting my hands out for her to come to me, she stared and laughed. Laughed like i was wearing no clothes in the middle of the street. “Yo this wasn’t even a big deal for real so what’s your problem now ma?” I know how to get under her skin, even if she was for real, she would still be thinking about me and how much I get on her nerves. Shit, better than nothin.

“This dumb ass bitch bruh no Onyankopon. I want you out of my apartment, and out of my life” I felt her tug on my sweater and push me out of the front door. She cant be for real right?….

But it didnt strike him that you were for real this time until three days later. HE seen you posted up with his home boy Eren on instagram who always got on him for not treating you well enough. He always told Eren to stay out of his business, which he claimed to be you, but for the next couple weeks Eren would be everywhere but out of your apartment. He was so good at communicating and never forced his way into your life, you two were just friends, and you loved having someone to talk to about your past. However, it was too late for Ony, when he was fuckin his hoes, he never thought, when he was giving head, he didn’t think about how you would feel, but now that he was a free agent, all of it including loneliness would bite him in the ass. He refused to admit it, but you were the best he ever had, and he felt nothing but anger knowing that he would never be able to be in your life again.

THIS WAS TEWWWWW FUN TO WRITE I HOPE MY BOOKIES LOVE IT TOODLES! ~𝑙𝑒𝑙𝑒！

[nerdpoe]

To Fail and to Succeed, part 2

Part 1, AO3

been a bit, way too many people to keep track of for tagging, super tired.

~~~~~

Bruce didn’t know what to do.

He was pretty sure he’d just been…altered, somehow, and no matter how hard he pressed the boy’s pulsepoints he could not feel the steady thrum of a beating heart.

Not that it was easy to tell when the kid was sobbing green-tinged tears and clinging to Bruce, Samantha, and Tucker; who had peeled themselves away from the wall to coddle him.

Not that Bruce was above hugging a traumatized teen who clearly needed it, but at that particular moment he really needed to find said kid’s pulse.

So when the door to the basement slammed open, all Bruce could do was make an attempt to hide the kids behind him. It was an attempt that failed, instead all three teens clung harder and the sobbing rose in volume. 

Tucker was beginning to hyperventilate.

Bruce glared at the doorway, which beheld a frozen Flash with an equally frozen Nightwing standing behind him.

Bruce subtly nodded his head towards the teens.

‘Help me,’ Bruce mouthed, letting the stress of the situation leak into his expression.

He felt his eyes grow…warmer?

That was concerning.

Was that how it felt for Jason when he-?

No. No, there would be time later for that mental breakdown. At the moment the only ones allowed to break down were the kids; Bruce needed to suck it up and deal with it until the kids were taken care of.

Then he would go home, hug his children, and let Dr. Thompkins run all the tests she needed to, and allow himself a moment or five to…to come to terms.

Great news, he could relate to Jason a bit more.

Bad news, he didn’t think either of them wanted it to be like this. 

Nightwing moved first, although with Flash’s speed it didn’t make much of a difference.

Flash appeared at Tucker's side, gently detaching the boy and running him through breathing exercises.

Nightwing appeared at Bruce’s side, and no matter how hard he glared at his eldest the Bludhaven Hero made it a clear priority to take Bruce’s vitals first.

“Do you think you’re a danger to anyone right now?” Nightwing asked softly, worry written in his body by tense shoulders and a slightly-too-hard grasp on Bruce’s jacket.

Oh.

Right.

With everything happening as quick as it had, Bruce had forgotten.

Pit Madness.

He’d been so concerned about Daniel and his friends that he hadn’t even had time to be concerned about side effects.

He took a few deep breaths and allowed himself to take stock of his own mental state and emotions.

He was absolutely on the verge of his own panic attack. He’d had a flashback, earlier, so he would be prone to more for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours or so. His mind was hyperfocusing on external stimuli so that he could not focus on the internal; typical response for himself.

No feelings of rage, no twisting of thoughts unique to the Pit, no desire for violence.

Bruce shook his head.

“No, Nightwing; I don’t think the portal impaired my mind.”

Nightwing’s shoulders dropped slightly, and his hand squeezed Bruce’s arm before he let go and walked around to Samantha.

That left Bruce with Daniel.

“Daniel-” “Danny.”

“Danny, does anywhere hurt? Are you still injured?”

Bright, glowing eyes stared at him, completely lost.

Bruce could relate.

“Danny, are you hurt,” Bruce asked again, giving the boy a little shake.

Pulse or no pulse, the boy was clearly alive. They had to make sure he would stay that way, no matter how strange his method of living was.

Danny seemed to snap out of his stupor and looked down at himself, flexing his fingers and toes.

“It…It still feels a little like I’m being shocked. Other than that, I’m just…really, really tired.”

The kids fingers were shaking, and it was only getting worse the more he thought about what had happened.

“But Mr. Wayne, my pulse, and I’m not breathing, I-”

“You are talking to me,” Bruce interrupted, grabbing Danny’s hands and trapping them between his own, “And I can feel your fingers shaking; you aren’t dead. Something has gone wrong, and you need a doctor, but you aren’t dead.”

Bruce would know.

He’d held dead children before.

Jason’s corpse and Damian’s corpse had felt nothing like Danny.

They hadn’t moved, or cried, or clung to him.

They’d just been still, wet with blood, growing stiffer by the second, and they’d never responded when he’d called their names.

So what if Danny didn’t have a pulse? 

He had all other signs of life.

Nightwing’s hand landed on his shoulder and pressed down, anchoring him.

Damn.

He’d nearly gone into his head.

He needed to leave the situation, and he needed to take the kids-all of them, because Samantha and Tucker had just witnessed something no child ever should-and get them out of the basement.

“Mr. Wayne, the batjet is about eight minutes out. We should get everyone and board it when it gets here, we can take you to League-Approved medical personnel-” Danny’s head snapped towards the vigilante, glowing eyes ramping up to a white-hot so fierce the green wasn’t able to be clearly seen anymore.

“No! No, my neighbors! If they see-I can’t-my parents!”

Bruce scrambled to get the teen to calm down, but it was Tucker who succeeded.

“Dude, dude-use my hoodie!”

A large, orange monstrosity was yanked out of an almost-discarded backpack and shoved at Danny. It was ripped, the sleeves were frayed, and the green printed scales were faded.

Danny wasted no time yanking his hands out of Bruce’s and shoving the thing over his head.

“Just pull the hood up, and stay between me and Sam, and, and-we’ll keep you safe!”

Sam nodded fervently, even as her white-knuckled grip on Nightwings other arm never wavered.

Bruce caught on.

“Nightwing, can you have the batjet wait in the park? We’ll take my car.”

Nightwing nodded, removing his hand from Bruce’s shoulder.

Then, in order to keep Bruce’s involvement with the Justice League to a minimum, Bruce’s eldest son took over from there.

“Flash, I need you to go tell Danny’s parents that there’s been an accident, and that the energy readings set off the alarms at HQ. Let them know that the Justice League is handling all medical needs, assess them for…” Nightwing trailed off, motioning just slightly down at Danny.

Flash nodded, understanding the unsaid order.

Assess them for potential criminal conduct.

“What about Jazz?” Samantha asked, finally letting Nightwing go only to transfer her grip to Danny.

Flash tilted his head at Bruce, quietly asking.

“Danny’s sister, Jasmine Fenton. She’s in the library, safe.”

Flash’s head slightly turned towards Danny and back to Bruce.

Bruce gave a slight nod.

Assess her for signs of abuse.

He needed to make sure that the kids would be safe if they were returned to their mad-scientist parents.

“Alright kiddos, let’s get you into Mr. Wayne’s car,” Nightwing corralled the children, gently bullying them into standing up and herding them towards the door.

Bruce stood, and made the mistake of glancing over at the sink.

His reflection stared back at him from the mirror; molten green eyes glared at him from his own face, otherworldly and uncomfortably familiar.

Flash quietly leaned his shoulder against the older man, offering wordless support.

Bruce steadied himself, took a breath, and forced his hands to stop shaking.

Then, he followed.

~~~~~~

Dick was panicking.

He wasn’t letting it show, he couldn’t let it show, but he was.

Bruce, his father in all but law, was displaying the major warning signs of Pit Madness.

Jason was in the jet, and was prepared to assist in restraint if necessary, but the fact that they had to be prepared at all was sickening. The weight of the tranqs he’d shoved into his utility belt tugged at his awareness, forcing him to keep looking back at Bruce.

The only saving grace in the entire situation was that Bruce seemed to be completely in control of his actions.

There was no screaming, or uncontrolled bouts of rage, of any lashing out at all.

Just shock.

The only thing that really seemed to be happening was that Bruce was in no position to lead, not until he’d had time to rest and get treatment.

There would be no Batman swooping in to take charge.

But Dick could do this. 

He was the oldest, and just like when Bruce had been lost to time, it was his responsibility to step up and fill the shoes left empty before him.

Nevermind that it had been a colossal failure, that it had driven Tim away and into the arms of Ra’s Al Ghul, that it had changed his relationship with Damian in a way that could never be reverted-

No.

He could do this.

He knew what not to do, so that meant he knew what he should do.

He wasn’t taking over the Batman mantle, he was just taking charge of a bad situation.

So he forced himself to appear as friendly and open as he could, forced himself to smile encouragingly at the teens as he held open the car door for them.

Forced himself to offer the support he wished he was getting to Bruce in the brief moment he placed his father in the passenger seat.

Forced himself to chatter about anything and everything as he drove the car to the park.

Forced himself to be the pillar of support the new meta teen needed as he introduced him to Dr. Thompkins, who they’d effectively kidnapped, much to her displeasure.

Forced himself to-

“Excuse me, Nightwing, could you show me where to change? I don’t know if my clothes are contaminated.”

Bruce’s arm wrapped around his shoulders and steered him to the cordoned off area they’d set up for…just in case Bruce did lose himself to Pit Madness.

It was private, and had a curtain around it.

None of them had wanted to actively see their Father shatter and try to break his own code.

Then, it was just them.

And one arm around his shoulders turned into two arms hugging him close.

Dick didn’t even realize his own arms were coming up and wrapping around Bruce too.

They stood there, Dick taking the comfort he needed and Bruce freely offering it.

“You’re doing so good, chum,” Bruce sighed quietly, stepping back but keeping his grip on Dick’s arms, “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

Dick stared into the glowing green of his father’s eyes and tried to believe that.

~~~~~~

Jason was on edge.

The kids were making the pit scream.

Bruce was making the pit cower.

Dickface was on the verge of a panic attack, he could tell.

And he was going to be in so much shit with Dr. Thompkins when everything cleared up.

He’d been on his way back to Crime Alley when he’d gotten the frantic call from Dick that Bruce had been exposed to a Lazarus Pit, that his eyes were glowing in a way that only led to blood from what they knew, that there were kids involved-

So, he’d cut across three lanes of traffic, barged into Leslie’s clinic, hauled her out, and broken every speed limit in Gotham to be on the plane to help.

If anyone could restrain a Lazarus mad Bruce Wayne, it’d be him.

With the help of the Good Doctor’s sedatives, of course.

But Bruce wasn’t displaying any aggressiveness at all. 

Which made the pit in Jason’s veins even weirder, because why was it acting scared?

It was just Bruce, dadding it up with Dick behind the curtain where he thought no one would be able to tell.

Yeah, his eyes were glowing. Yeah, they’d turned green. And, yeah, he had a white streak in his hair.

Jason was thinking the white was just the pit he’d taken a dip in getting rid of hair dye, though.

There was no way a man that stressed didn’t have white hair. The old man was totally dyeing it to look full black.

Jason shook his head and focused. He needed to pilot the plane to the Justice League HQ, the Earth one. They could take more extensive tests there, to make sure everything was alright.

He needed to stop hyperfixating on random shit and hyperfixate on what needed to be done.

His stupid brain and it’s stupid fucking trauma could wait.

He forgot to tell everyone to buckle up, though, and could feel Dr. Thompkins glare heating the back of his neck as he pushed the jet to its limit.

He ignored that like he ignored his own mental health.

By waiting until it fixated on something else.

And after a few seconds of more glaring, Dr. Thompkins did indeed turn back to the kid. Daniel or Danny or whatever.

They’d muted their side of the conversation to Bruce the absolute fucking second Dick had said he was compromised, but they’d kept it open on Bruce’s end to hear if he…if he did something he’d never forgive himself for.

Damian, Steph, and Tim had immediately been blocked from all outgoing communications from Bruce’s comm. No one wanted their youngest members to hear what could have been, had Bruce truly lost it. 

Oh look, Jason was paying attention to the bad thoughts again.

He forced his thoughts to focus on the radar; their little trip wouldn’t do anyone any good if they clotheslined a passenger jet.

But he could still very much hear what was happening behind him.

Bruce was still whispering reassurances to Dick, and Dick was taking deep, measured breaths.

The goth girl was talking to herself, trying to talk herself down from her own panic attack.

The geeky boy, the one that he just knew would get on with Timberlina, was whispering his own words of encouragement to both the goth girl and the new Meta, bouncing between them as he deemed necessary.

And Dr. Thompkins-

“Okay, so given the lack of a pulse I think it’s safe to assume that a pressure cuff isn’t going to give us much by-way of results,” she said, and somehow managed to make the terrified teen giggle, “And given that you’re talking, moving, and definitely still pass the reflex test, I think it’s safe to assume that you are alive, somehow.”

Her tone was dry as fuck, but that seemed to be what the kid needed.

“So let’s try some things to see if we can find what healthy means for you.”

Thompkins was the best doctor, Jason swore. Cut right through the bullshit and got to the point.

This was probably going to be the kids' new normal.

So they had to find out what meant ‘healthy’ for him.

“Let’s see if you can make yourself breathe. Good. Does it feel natural?”

“Uh, no. It. It kind of hurts.”

“Okay, thank you for letting me know. I don’t suppose you can force your heart to kickstart itself?”

“I can…try?”

“Don’t push yourself. We’re trying to find what’s normal for you, not what you think should be normal.”

Silence.

Was that little shit really going to ignore-?

Then the plane was filled with a blindingly bright light, and it was only years of training that prevented Jason from accidentally nose-diving the plane.

Instead he threw it on autopilot and turned so fast he heard his neck pop.

Sitting there, looking startled as fuck, was prime Bruce Wayne Adoption Bait, and he looked very much alive.

The kid, with a shaking hand on his chest, only had eyes for Leslie.

“Oh,” he said, “I found my pulse.”