#klaus is just really confused a lot of the time tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

in-tua-deep · 5 years

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You are the uncontested queen of tua aus please tell me abt the siblings finding klaus and him getting sober in the responsible Luther au

asdfsDFSG what’s the gender neutral word for king and queen?? i said regent to my sister but apparently that’s when someone is just holding place for like,, if the heir is a minor or something but monarch just doesn’t have the same ring to it smh

honestly Luther probably disapproves greatly when Five absolutely insists on having Klaus in the house because if he’s not in the house then he’s on the strEETS LUTHER

(and look, this is a Five who survived however long in the apocalypse before popping back - he knows better than anybody the difficulty of surviving wandering the streets with no one there to help you)

and Five has a room that he’s not even using because he’s way too freaked out to sleep alone (and every time he tries to sleep alone he wakes up alone and thinks that coming back was all a dream, that he’s still in the apocalypse and that he’s cracked and his siblings are dead and he’s a failure and it’s just bad so yeah Luther definitely doesn’t mind sharing his bed if that means he doesn’t have to spend an hour trying to convince Five that he isn’t the vengeful dead come to punish him) so it makes sense to give it to Klaus, right?

Luther’s convinced that Klaus is going to rob them blind and vanish back onto the streets again and he personally makes a rule about no drugs in the house that is pretty much ignored by Klaus who can sneak things in anyway

so what happens is this

Diego finds Klaus and hauls him up into his car with promises of breakfast or something and takes him to Luther’s place. He does not explain exactly why he is doing this, because informing the brother they all kind of bullied over the fact that he consistently failed to summon their presumed dead sibling that said sibling is, in fact, alive and also a traumatized child is kind of difficult to word

So Klaus is complaining loudly and probably also commenting on the fact that he didn’t know Diego moved out of his shitty boiler room into an actual apartment except Diego doesn’t get a key out he knocks on the door

and Luther answers it

and Klaus is very very confused as Luther just sighs deeply, like a man who was up all last night convincing a child that their dad isn’t going to pop up like the boogeyman and lock them away. “He had a rough night.” Luther tells them both, ushering them in to sit on his thrift store couch and mismatched armchair, “I’ll see if he’s ready to come out. Klaus visiting might actually help, and I can’t believe I said that.”

“I have no idea what’s going on.” Klaus informs the room as a whole, “But I am offended at the implication that I wouldn’t help whatever is going on! But also I’m still very confused and was also promised food.”

Luther just sighs again. “Just. Just give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”

Luther leaves the room and Klaus side eyes Diego real hard. Because he was literally scooped up, bribed with the promise of food, and brought to Luther’s apartment? Last Klaus heard, Luther was still licking their dad’s boots and living at home? Klaus shares a confused look with Ben.

“What the fuck is happening?” Klaus whispers to Ben. Except, his whisper isn’t exactly quiet and Diego just shifts and ignores him. Typical.

“If he’s ready to come out? Did Luther get a boyfriend or something?” Ben asks, entirely skeptical, “Except why would Diego hunt you down for this?”

Klaus is about to respond with an equally wild theory involving possible alien abductions when there’s a blue flash of light out of the corner of Klaus’s eye and suddenly he’s being tackled off the sofa with arms flailing everywhere. His hand is about to hit whatever is attacking him when he hears Ben’s voice yell out - “Klaus, stop!”

Because he trusts Ben to know what’s best for him (mostly), Klaus freezes to actually process the entire scene, and becomes aware of the fact that whoever tackled him is… pretty small. And crying. And also surprisingly familiar?

“What the fuuuuck.” Klaus wheezes out. Ben is talking and Klaus isn’t really listening because that’s little Number Five clinging to him and actually having tackled him off the sofa meaning that he’s, you know, very much not dead and incorporeal.

Luther jogs into the room to see Klaus and Five on the floor and Diego doing exactly nothing to help. “Five, Five buddy. You gotta let Klaus up. Why don’t you guys sit on the couch together instead of on the floor.”

Five does not respond. Klaus is wide-eyed and opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish, actually speechless for the possibly the first time in his life. Luther just sighs deeply and just reaches down to scoop both up together and dump them back on the couch where Five proceeds to burrow into Klaus’s side.

“What’s with him?” Diego asks, looking a little freaked out and like he very much does not know how to handle their traumatized baby brother. Luther certainly knows the feeling.

“He had a bad night.” Luther sighs. There’s a lot of sighing going on tonight. “He’s been hunkered down in the closet for most of today, he’s got a nest in there for when things are bad.”

“I’m right here.” Five says, muffled where he’d pressed into Klaus’s side.

“What the fuck.” Klaus repeats, again, because it seems like his alarm is being duly ignored by everyone whose name doesn’t rhyme with the number ten. “Someone better be explaining things right the fuck now, holy shit.”

And that’s where between them, mainly Luther but also Diego, they explain haltingly about Five showing up, and Luther taking him and leaving, and the future and the apocalypse and everything they know.

“Five went to the future?” Klaus asks, incredulous.

“It was shit.” Five says, wiping his nose on his sleeve and making Luther grimace and reach for the tissues.

“I have so many questions.” Ben whispers, next to them.

and it continues with Klaus looking at Ben and asking questions and then Diego finally gets up and is like “Okay okay, it’s getting on a bit so I should be getting home.”

and that’s what prompts Five to be like, “Oh - do you need to go home as well, Klaus?”

and Klaus, being Klaus, has no filter and is like “Actually I’m what you would call uh, homeless. So, you know, on my own schedule and all that.”

and Five FLIPS because hey, he was technically homeless in the apocalypse, right?? so he absolutely puts his foot down and demands that Klaus stay with him and Luther because they have the extra bedroom they’re not even using, Luther - and Klaus is family!! And Luther is not willing to pick this fight right now so he grudgingly accepts it for now. He says they’ll revisit the conversation tomorrow.

What probably happens is that Five is antsy about leaving Klaus home alone, but Luther doesn’t want to leave Five home with only Klaus for company, either. So Luther would have to sit Klaus down and have a very frank discussion on all of Five’s triggers (anything burning, fire, restraints of any kind, straight jackets, probably buckles as well tbh, etc.) and the fact that Five is a child. If Five stays home with Klaus, Klaus has to be responsible. Which means not being high.

And I’m pretty sure Klaus actually would want to help, and Ben would want to help, so he’s willing to give getting sober a try for his babiest brother so that he doesn’t get kicked out and his visiting Five privileges revoked

Klaus probably ends up having to get sober at Diego’s place since Klaus’s bright idea involves tying him to a chair until he detoxes and Five has some Serious Issues with capital letters with restraints (thanks dad) and would probably freak out at the sight

on the bright side, Five would absolutely believe Klaus sees Ben and demand to talk to Ben from day one eagerly, and Klaus would probably let baby Five know that Ben is around and translate for him which is nice

and then when he gets sober, he figures out he can summon Ben which is even cooler

Five is a little shit who is alarmingly good at figuring out when Klaus is accurately translating Ben’s comments and speech for the general public and calls Klaus out a lot when he speaks for Ben lmao

but yeah basically Klaus gets sober because Five is a baby who brings out even Klaus’s protective instincts and also he’s fully aware that Luther only tolerates him in the house because Five insists and if he wants to continue having a roof over his head and interaction with his babiest sibling he needs to appease Number One who is in charge here

but on the bright side, Klaus at least has his siblings help this time

and also the knowledge he wasn’t the last to know

(Vanya is contacted next)

(Allison is actually the last to know because she won’t picK UP HER PHONE)

#ask me #anonymous #responsible luther au #five is baby and klaus wants to hang with him #klaus is just really confused a lot of the time tbh #diego is trying his best #luther is a new dad he's protective #even if he won't admit it #five is just super traumatized #and trying his best #bless his dumb little heart

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sammybii · 2 years

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Ok so Klaus being dead when five travels to the apocalypse. All of us have been like but he’s immortal??? And I just finished S1E2 where it shows his “body” so here’s my observations.

He’s on top of all the rubble, not buried by anything but is covered with dust. For that to make sense he would’ve needed to fall to his death but there was no blood, no puncture, he looks relatively unharmed. Tbh it looks like he went and laid out on the rubble.

And I think that’s what he did. If he was to reanimate just to see everyone dead, it makes sense for him to you know just give up. Go to sleep. He would be starving and dying of thirst, when your body is dying you sleep a lot longer. And tbh it would make sense if he just yk died again. A cycle of dying, waking back up to the apocalypse and then just going back to sleep until you die again because what else are you gonna do? He wasn’t confused like Five was, he knew how this all happened.

Another thing is his reanimation time, we know it can take hours, especially since his powers aren’t trained. And we know he can take longer to reanimate if he doesn’t try to leave the afterlife like we saw with Luther. If all his siblings are dead and he’s completely unaware of his immortality I’m sure he’s not exactly exploring and running into god like he does the other times. Hell he could’ve started searching for Dave or trying to be with his siblings but being forced back to life after a while because that’s his curse (in the comics at least).

Five also only glimpsed at Klaus’ body before running away, he didn’t check if Klaus was alive because he figured he was dead like the others (who looked quite dead). 13 year old five completely alone wouldn’t be the most reliable observer to his dead brother.

Anyway moral of the story/theory is that I feel like there’s a lot of good explanations that they can use for Klaus and the apocalypse, I just really hope they do explain it because it’s pretty important to the story.

#the umbrella academy #klaus hargreeves #tua3 #five hargreeves #tua #tua thoughts #tua spoilers

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written-beyond-the-grave · 3 years

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Mikaelsons Black History Month

First off, I’m starting by saying that even though it is no longer Black history month it will always be melanin everyday and black people every day. And everything else under the sun, and if you don’t like it then the exit is to your left. Everything you own in the box to the left

Being part of the Mikaelsons is very fickle business and be some bs. Like really, you’re here with supernatural beings who are over 1000 years old. Who have traveled the world, gained endless knowledge, seen a lot of bloodshed, but you know what they haven’t seen? Their token human (black ofc) being ignant for black history month, I mean who even fully celebrates? How does one even celebrate?

Granted, they’re not racist. But with the writing Julie Pleck did she was playing honestly. That was the worst writing I've ever seen since who knows when. Maybe the nine lives of Chloe king or something? But in my originals universe they were probably racist in the beginning to an extent then grew out of it.

Anyways, they never met someone who celebrated until they met you!

Now repeat after me: I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all. And I’m black and black and black y’all! FYM

Now…. picture this: A moderately quiet day in the Mikaelson household. Kol is minding his business for once, Rebekah is trying to find the perfect pics for her next instagram post, Elijah is enjoying a good read, and Klaus is organizing his art materials. But then here comes you, the human, opening the door and walking right in like you pay bills (none of them do but you get the picture) in the midst of the most deadly people. Walking in and greeting everyone, walking in with the most hotep, Dr. Umar bullshit getup they ever seen. Coming to America headass.

They recognize your footsteps from a mile away, so when you walk into the kitchen and no one really looks up at first it’ll be a sight to see a whole ass pelted lion on your back. The kente cloth hat (no idea the actual name for it, sorry babes), a saber tooth necklace (for my mans T’Challa), and the red stiletto nails with the afro out here banging.

SHEEEEEEEEESH

Once Elijah is done with his page he looks up to greet you, but then stops… Bitch, fuck is you wearing? This was worlds away from the sweats, and skinny jeans you wore on the daily.

“Greetings Y/N you look…. Fashionable.” Mans didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something about your Africna roots? Was there a holiday he hadn’t heard of, doubt it, but what else was there?

“Thank you Elijah.” You fluff out your lion pelt for added effect, if there was ever going to be one time you outdo the Mikaelsons’ especially Elijah in being dramatic with a coat or cloak of somesort, it would be now.

At this point the Kol and Rebekah have already looked up and were confused. Why are you dressed like that?

Kol is the first one to speak up “Darling, Rebekah likes a fashion show more than anyone, but why do you have a lion… on your shoulder.”

Lifting up your large ass shades you supplied an answer: “Black History Month”

They all looked at each other… they didn’t get it. Like they know what it is, but never actually understood how to celebrate and all that nor did they ever actually give it mind. When you saw that they weren’t making a connection, you started phase 1.

“Alexa, you know what to do.”

And there goes their manor playing: NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA

LMFAOOOOO you got the white people shook. Klaus just dropped one of his expensive ass bottles of art sealants and is vamp speeding to the kitchen to figure out what the hell is going on. Elijah having a mid century crisis on how tf they even found you and deemed you worthy of being in their presence so casually. Kol is having fun in the back, still laughing at your get up. And Rebekah wishes she went to the mall instead, she wanted a girl bestie and got you instead rip

“WHAT IN BLAZES- Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DO- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING! ALEXA STOP THE MUSIC-” And the big bad wolf has arrived. You put your finger to Klaus’ lips which stuns him bc… you’re still HOOOMAN like damn, death wish much? And you look this man, straight in his mit and say “Looks at, look at me” and pause for dramatic affect, “I am the captain now”

Room silent as hell till Kol starts cackling

You’ve made Dr. Umar proud, the ancestors are shining on you once again

With that you lead into a whole speech about the black struggle and black history month, bottom line: REPARATIONS. Because being the only nigga in the Mikaelsons (we don’t claim Marcel) is exhausting, white people shit everyday that you complain about in their faces

TBH at this point they’re indulging you in this escapade.

First victim is Elijah, you ask for his wallet. He gives you a look, I mean he does technically give you what you want and whatever (when y’all dating, refer back to my dating Elijah post), so he ask you why. Reparations sis why, but then you stop yourself. This man gives you his wallet every other day, half the time you not even asking. What could you rob this man of…. Ah. You ask him for the deed of one of his estates in Prague, why? Because you bitches can’t even spell Prague. And under section S line 45 subsection Y it does state that estates are eligible for reparations. Fuck 40 acres and a mule, you got 300 acres, some stallions in the back, a quite possibly haunted mansion, and a heavy dicked (yeah I said it, a sis been trying to reality shift) original who will turn you out by the end of the day and the end of the month…. Wait till women's history month boo

We know his pockets figgity fat, and it would be figgity wack to not get some

Ngl you take Kol with you so he can buy you food. Granted, he knows what you’re doing, but if he’s going to spend money on anything it will be thawed and it will be music. However, one thing leads to another and you’re both at Wal-Mart waiting to find a parking spot. You stole one off a white minivan trying to move in. Not thinking anything of it because who in this small ass Mystic Falls ass, clown ass town really about it? Apparently Karen.

But you know who else what about it? Kol (tbh mans had nothing but time, and he claims you so why tf not.) he out here NY stomping on her and coming at her for badly glued extensions. Cheap ass bitch, ain’t even blend in correctly.

After that Kol and you left with some groceries, a new story to tell, and a chopped cheese.

With Klaus, he frfr wasn’t finna do shit. Being ordered my a human? Lmfao, go find another simp sis. But… once you suggest that his art skills may not be up to par on what you have in mind as a new family room piece for your house he’s all ears. He knows what you’re doing, but… he still wants to prove you wrong. But anyways, you give him a theme… reverse racism. IK y’all, it’s not a thing, but mans has ideas. And he outdoes himself. That and the recreation of the moorish chief bc that man...mmmmm that man was giving.

Ok so Google wanna hoe me, but there was a painting of a black man in a kkk cloak and behind him were white people being hung from a tree. Say what you want, but that photo was fire. If any of you seen it please share it below.

Anyways

Rebekah tbh wants no part in this, but I feel like she’d gave when you ask her to give you all the finest dresses bc it’s an excuse to exhaust Klaus’ money.

Through the month you give the Mikaelsons a run for their money, and maybe sanity. Klaus is in the back trying to research who tf Dr. Umar is and why is he your inspiration

They had to pull you back when the sheriff asked you for your ID. You ask why you needed white man paperwork!

You are pleasing the spirits, what bonnie could never do lmfaooooo. The powers of you enemies aren’t prospering this month nor next month.

You’re not poor this month, anything you poor of is pouring a little more (bars nigga)

LMFAOOOO imaging asking the fam to go to paris, like, they not invited it’s a self trip funded my the Mikaelson Y/N Trust Fund of Public Decency ™

Klaus would be the first one to speak because this man is TIRED, “Love, why do you need a trip to paris? What’s in Paris?”

Knowing better, you look to Kol to answer the question, “I don’t know, Kol, who’s in Paris?” Niggas b. Niggas in paris…. Lemme chill

LMFAOOO enjoy

#klaus mikealson x reader #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikealson x reader #tvd x reader #the originals #black reader #black!reader #poc!reader #poc reader #niggasbelike

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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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frederickthegreat · 4 years

Text

my thoughts on TUA season 2

(spoilers, obviously)

- opened with Klaus and Ben, my kings. Klaus’s hair looks so weird straightened while short

- AWESOME opening soundtrack

- seeing all their powers so controlled makes me wonder how they leveled up to that skill in the alternate timeline. like the only time we saw Klaus use the powers of other ghosts in the correct timeline was when two of them caught him falling out of the sky. however Diego did end up controlling bullets and Allison used her voice to technically kill one of the Swedes

- the homeless man screaming Allison’s name alongside Luther... funny shit

- big teddy bear Hazel

- Elliot was fucking awesome i think he was a great addition as a side character. rip tho :(

- honestly i don’t understand why Diego would WANT to save JFK. like it’s not that big of a deal. does he not understand what messing with the timeline can do??

- Lila... impeccable

- Sissy and Vanya... impeccable <3

- yeah and fuck u Carl

- ugh, Klaus’s beard. disgusting <3

- Ben and Klaus definitely act like they should be, given that they’ve been stuck with each other for over a decade. i’ve seen some people calling Klaus an asshole for not telling his siblings about Ben, which is completely understandable (cause he was an asshole), but I’m guessing it was because he was afraid? that sharing Ben with his siblings would mean that he would lose him to them, or his siblings would find him selfish, or they would ask something of him that he couldn’t give. if that makes sense

- that ghost bitch comment was funny tho

- to the guy who called Klaus pretty boy at the bar: sir you don’t know what you’re getting into

- Raymond!! he’s such a sweetheart, i really liked him in the show. i’m really happy that Allison has found a bit of normalcy (as normal as the 1960s Civil Rights movement could be). it shows how passionate she is about what she believes in: even though she knows the movement is far from over, even back in 2019, she’s not gonna abandon it

- Allison staring at the moon every night: either thinking about Luther or how the moon blows them all up. maybe both

- of course Luther would be working for Jack Ruby

- awesome cinematography during the mental asylum escape

- yeah it makes sense that the Handler would still be alive. she was a cool villain. although it would’ve been awesome to see how evil a fish could be

- Diego’s plan was pretty stupid. that’s my boy

- honestly they revealed how Klaus started a cult really well by having one of his followers find him at jail. Klaus, ever the musical aficionado, of course writes his scripture based off of pop songs

- Raymond and Klaus meeting!! that was cool to see how their paths connected

- Lila painting Elliot’s toenails green. ugh i love that crazy bitch

- i LOVE how they incorporated the umbrella man!! tbh i’ve always believed he was the one behind the assassination. Lee Harvey Oswald was framed

- honestly a bit understandable that Luther was planning on killing Vanya? cause he had no idea who she is now, but them reuniting was actually really sweet. he’s grown up so much

- the Swedes and their cats.

- the Umbrella company building with the nuclear family mannequins... creepy, awesome shit

- baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo baby pogo

- shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego shanked diego

- did anyone else get vibes from Klaus’s episode opening that he was an escort to the old woman? like how he was being shown off at her arm or something and getting out of jail from a call from the governor. idk maybe the lady was just very taken with him, as anyone would be

- Elliot, our helpful king

- Allison and Klaus’s reunion was so sweet!! i’m so glad they got to interact so much more in this season

- Ben getting Raymond out through a haunting... hilarious

- sweet intimate moment between Lila and Diego

- Ray meeting Luther was hilarious, but i do feel for the poor guy. i mean i’m not in love with my adoptive sister but still

- the sit-in was really well done and beautiful while terrible. the ‘riot’ that ensued was very appropriate for today’s setting

- D-Dave

- honestly i was scared that Klaus was gonna be overly attracted to him or whatever, which would be weird cause he’s years younger than Klaus, but honestly, at the core he just wanted to save Dave’s life. even if it means never meeting him in a different timeline. he truly loved Dave. and that ptsd flashback was done so well

- i knew Lila wasn’t trustworthy but i didn’t REALLY expect that!

- Vanya and Luther talking with each other, Luther admitting the apocalypse wasn’t all her fault. beautiful

- the Majestic 12 reminds me of the conspiracy theory that only a few families control basically everything in the world. the Majestic 12 may be based off of that, idk

- idk about everyone else but Klaus’s scorpion and the frog story made total sense to me! frogs ARE bitches

- the diner scene.... ugh. it really shows that the two of them did fall in love and they did stupid in love things, like talking about their family, about why Dave wanted to join, favorite colors, favorite foods, etc. however that’s seen later on when Dave visits the compound

- yes it’s very disheartening when Klaus is attacked, but honestly i think it had to happen, just like the riot had to happen. the 60s weren’t a fun time for lgbt people and poc. it was only going to be a matter of time before the show HAD to acknowledge the consequences of Klaus’s ‘flamboyancy’ in 1963 Texas. it doesn’t make it right or easy to see, but it’s realistic.

- it also makes sense that Klaus fell off the wagon after experiencing something like that. yes we all would’ve liked him to stay sober, but sobriety and recovery aren’t linear.

- Allison is so happy with Ray can we please drop this pseudo-incest plotline let’s MOVE ON

- Texas Grace ! who is not actually Grace rip (i think? i was a bit confused lol)

- the scene with Harlan running off was really upsetting but we got to see those weird light particles that we saw in the first season

- Pogo Pogo Pogo Pogo

- Klaus being a dick to Ben again, as brothers do. i do feel bad for Ben though it must be sooo frustrating. that scene with him and Allison was really sweet and funny tho

- i just have to say that Luther and Diego are so fucking funny this season it’s awesome. like there are a LOT of good lines overall by everyone but they’re hilarious. “At least he didn’t shank my ass” “no bro, he shanked your heart”“Dads part of a sinister CABAL that’s plotting on killing the president.” “a caBAL?”“You two still a thing? *leans in* do we need to talk?” “No, she’s married.” “Woah dude... that’s rough.” and countless others

- the sibling reunion!!

- Klaus really does get left out of everything tbh

- Ben :(

- sisters and Klaus!! that was so awesome to see. and Klaus’s hairpins, Vanya saying she’s gonna tell Sissy she loves her, their dance sequence, Klaus calling Allison out on that incest. beautiful

- the fucking Swedish cover of Hello was PERFECT i mean i was sad for the Swedes but it was hilarious. there were a couple beautiful shots of the boat on fire though

- god it must’ve been so traumatizing for Allison to be thrust into such a hostile place with no voice and no way to contact her family

- idk about you guys but long live Team Zero

- calling Ben that he was becoming their father was a bit uncalled for

- the fact that Klaus didn’t help Dave’s chances, and in fact escalated Dave’s own timeline.. his trembling hands... robert sheehan is an amazing actor

- the Black president bit lmaoo loved it

- the way Reginald spoke to Diego.. i’m gonna throw hands with an old man

- Klaus LITERALLY looked like he was having a seizure and they all just... played it off??

- poor, poor Carl. nah fuck him lol

- that bloody opening scene was awesome! and thank god Five got to say fuck. the fact that it was about a candy bar makes too much sense

- Robert Sheehan acting as Ben: amazing showstopping spectacular he’s so talented

- the whole multiple Fives and Luther bit was honestly really funny, and i immensely respect smaller Five over bigger Five.

- yes Klaus, you survived a family of seven. you got this

- not sad about Carl dying one bit!

- Ben... that was such a beautiful scene. not just the content of the scene, but the cinematography. Ben fading away... Vanya hugging him... ugh. the main takeaway i had from that scene is that at the core of it all, Ben and Klaus love each other immensely. they have a weird, dysfunctional, fucked up relationship, where Klaus is an asshole and Ben definitely shouldn’t of possessed him without his consent, but they’re still brothers, and Ben forgives him.

- oof Ben’s funeral was hard. also was it just me or did Klaus’s kid actor sound weird? like it sounded like Robert was dubbing his lines

- all the siblings back together again!!!! Klaus going with Vanya to save Harlan!! Vanya telling him Ben forgives him and that it wasn’t Klaus’s fault Ben got stuck with him!! everyone in the car!!! be still my beating heart

- yeah didn’t see Lila having powers coming tbh. i really feel bad for her she’s had such a rough and traumatic life, especially with the Handler as her only parental figure

- the Swede brother and Five putting down their weapons: “enough.” the Swede wanted revenge for his brothers - an eye for an eye, but there was a mutual understanding between the two of them: they would do anything for their family. if the Swede hurts one of the Hargreeves, Five would never stop coming after him. i thought it was very beautiful

- mmm Reggie’s foreshadowing coming into play. proud of u Five

- the ending was so beautiful. everyone got closure in some type of way. except now Klaus is alone with nothing but his dog tags :(

- EMO BEN HAHAHA WTFFF?? is Lila in the sparrow academy? why was Ben’s portrait over the mantle piece? did Five disappear?? is the sparrow academy just older versions of the siblings who stuck around?? so many questions

FINAL THOUGHTS

- Ellen Page’s acting consistently blows me away. she is amazing

- beautiful cinematography, funny writing, pretty good acting. i didn’t like the soundtrack as much as i did the first season’s, but some of it wasn’t bad.

- i’m glad ben got peace, but i’m also glad justin min isn’t gone for good. his social media presence is too vital for us

- i swear to god if they keep treating klaus as a joke and don’t let him get any actual development like everyone else had (he barely got closure with Dave, he reconciled with Ben through a second party) next season, i’m gonna riot. PLEASE i want to learn more about his powers now that Ben is gone. what happened to seeing tons of ghosts when he’s sober??

- Luther and Diego were probably my favorite duo of the season, I’m so happy that they’ve reconciled and are bonding more.

- just seeing Vanya grow and be happy was amazing

all in all, really wonderful season. i probably liked it better than the first one. now it’s time to consume fanfiction and maybe finish my own (check out “god doesn’t want him and neither does the devil” on ao3!)

#the umbrella academy #tua spoilers #tua season 2 spoilers #the umbrella academy season 2 spoilers #the umbrella academy season 2 #tua season 2 #klaus hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #allison hargreeves #raymond chestnut #dave katz #diego hargreeves #reginald hargreeves

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hellotvshowtrash · 4 years

Text

Angel

Requested by @elijahs-wife : Hi Ashlee!! Could you write a fic using the prompt "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified"? Sending love 💗💗

A/N: TEHANI THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST ily 💗 I’m sorry this took me a little bit!! I wanted it to be something worth posting! I’m still iffy on it.

I don’t think I will never NOT be terrified to send something out into the void, so please like/reblog if you enjoyed!! and if you want to read any more from me, feel free to send me a request! I love all our mikaelson boys (except Finn tbh sorry) so i’m down to write for more than just Elijah!

Elijah Mikaelson x female!reader

Word count: 2,970

tw: kind of sad, mentions of being an orphan, not a whole lot!

credit to the gif creator!!

Elijah stood in the crowd, absentmindedly sipping his champagne while listening in on different conversations. Laughter bubbled throughout the compound at another Mikaelson ball. He sighed and made his way to find his brother. He heard Klaus from far off, bickering with Hope about the dress she had chosen for the night.

"Dad, it's my birthday ball. I should be able to wear what I want!" She huffed. Elijah turned the corner into one of the various hallways of the compound, coming around to see the father and daughter facing off.

He chuckled, "Children, please," he said, eyeing Hope's admittedly short dress. Her hair was curled and she sported a sky blue cocktail dress. "Although your father may have a point," Elijah stated, raising an eyebrow.

Klaus gestured to Elijah, "Thank you, brother!" He exclaimed.

"I'm 18! I'm going to wear whatever I want," Hope said, storming into the party with finality. Elijah walked closer to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder, stifling a laugh.

"She is very strong-willed, like her father," He said, raising his champagne flute to his lips. Klaus glared at his brother and sighed. "She has a point though. She is a young woman now. Just give her this one night to do and wear what she wants." The men turned and departed the hallway, heading back into the party. Klaus grabbed a champagne flute and headed to stand on a flight of stairs. Elijah stood at the base, looking into the crowd again.

"May I have your attention!" Klaus called out into the large room, "I would like to say a few words about my daughter, Hope." Klaus smiled down at her as he began his speech. Elijah continued to scan the room. His brother's voice faded from his ears when his eyes landed on a woman amongst the crowd, standing with his sister Freya. She was beautiful, wearing a blush coloured, floor-length dress. Her Y/C/H hair flowing down her back in an elegantly curled braid. She beamed up at Klaus as he gave his heartfelt speech about Hope. Elijah felt an unfamiliar sensation in his chest, a feeling he hadn't felt in a very, very long time.

In unison, the crowd lifted their glasses and cheered, "To Hope!" The woman put her glass to her full, pink lips. The room erupted into conversation and movement, and Elijah lost sight of her. As if jogged from a trance, Elijah put his champagne on the nearest surface and began searching the crowd once more. He pushed passed strangers and friends alike to get to where he had spotted her. He broke through the other side of the crowd, looking around for her or Freya. He found the two making their way around the outskirts of the party, talking and laughing together. He took a second to compose himself, putting his left hand in his suit pants pocket. Taking a deep breath, he followed after her.

"Good evening," he said casually, coming up behind the two women. They turned and Freya greeted him with a smile and a warm hug. The stranger stood by with a polite smile on her face.

"Elijah! I was wondering when I'd see you," she pulled away and turned to the woman next to her. "Y/N, this is my brother, Elijah." Freya smiled at Y/N.

"Hello, Elijah," She greeted, extending her hand. Rather than shaking it, Elijah took her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing it softly. Blush crept up Y/N's cheeks as Freya's eyebrows raised.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Elijah said, not taking his eyes off her Y/E/C ones. "May I have this dance?" He heard her heartbeat quicken as she gave a small nod, letting Elijah gently tug her to the dance floor.

"I guess I'll just hang out here! By myself!" Freya called after them, huffing to herself.

Y/N was a New Orleans French Quarter witch. That was how she and Freya had met and became friends. Y/N had started coming around the compound more and more frequently over the following weeks, becoming closer to the Original family. Rosie cheeks and stolen glances at Elijah filled her visits under the excuse of hanging out with Freya. She loved her friend, truly, but she couldn't get her mind off of the oldest Mikaelson brother. He, on the other hand, seemed to distance himself from her after his first introduction. She had hoped that she didn't offend him in some way. “Maybe I’m just not his type,“ She thought to herself.

"Y/N?" Freya's voice sounded in Y/N's head, jogging her from her thoughts.

"What, I'm sorry?" She looked at her friend, confused. They were sitting on a couch located in the library of the compound, pulling a late-night together. Her thoughts of Elijah had distracted her mid-conversation.

Freya rolled her eyes. "I asked if you'd like to come to the Halloween party we're throwing here this weekend. Hope wants it to be a big event, and you know Klaus would do anything to keep her happy." Freya smiled at Y/N.

Y/N nodded, thinking about the father/daughter relationship Hope and Klaus had brought a sad smile to her face. She was glad Hope would have the love of family throughout her life. Y/N was alone in New Orleans, growing up in different foster homes and halfway houses. Her real family unknown to her, she had been tossed from house to house because of the unexplainable things that happened around her. Until she met Vincent, back when he was still married to Eva Sinclair. He taught Y/N about what living in New Orleans really meant for people like her. He made her feel like she belonged.

"I'd love to come! Costume party?" Y/N asked, sipping tea from her mug.

Freya nodded, "Hope wouldn't have it any other way."

–

Elijah rolled his eyes. "I will not be wearing a costume. I believe I may just stay behind and let you all enjoy the fun," He said to Hope and Klaus. Hope was trying on her little red riding hood costume for the party that night when she turned and glared at Elijah.

"Come on, Uncle Elijah. Auntie Bex is! I even got dad some devil horns that he's going to wear, right dad?" She looked over at Klaus who grimaced and looked at Elijah pleadingly.

"Yes, darling, I'll wear them," He said, defeated. Hope smiled and looked back at Elijah. Elijah shook his head again, turning to exit the room.

"Y/N will be there," Hope exclaimed as he walked toward the door. Elijah stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes, sighing. She knew that would get him to come. He wasn’t as good at hiding his feelings as he thought he was, or maybe Hope was just perceptive. Hope smiled triumphantly to herself as she turned back to the mirror to look at her costume once more, perfecting the details.

Y/N entered the compound, her dress flurrying around her as she was met by a large crowd of people. The sun had set and the party was in full swing. The Mikaelson’s sure know how to throw a rager, she thought to herself. She walked farther into the crowd, her dress and cloak billowing around her. She headed toward the bar, keeping her eyes peeled for Freya.

"There you are!" Freya's voice came from behind her, muffled by the music. Y/N turned and saw her friend dressed in a bright pink dress, star wand in hand with a large crown atop her head. Y/N stifled a laugh at the sight.

"And what are you supposed to be?" Y/N said over the music.

Freya frowned, "What, you don't get it? I'm Glinda! You know, from The Wizard Of Oz?" She flourished her wand in Y/N's face and laughed. Freya was already a few drinks in. "Who are you supposed to be?" She asked, her words slightly slurred.

Y/N looked down at her costume, and back up to Freya. "I'm Sarah Sanderson! From Hocus Pocus," Y/N twirled in her spot. She and Freya giggled as Y/N spun. Mid-spin, she spotted Elijah coming down the stairs and her breath hitched in her throat. She didn't take Elijah for the costume type, so she hadn't expected him to be here tonight.

He looked absolutely regal in his black suit and tie. Large white angels wings sprouted from his back. He looked around the room while coming down the stairs, not yet seeing Y/N. Freya followed Y/N's gaze and saw Elijah. She drunkenly put an arm around Y/N's shoulder.

"You know, I think you have a thing for my brother," She accused. Y/N blushed, turning away from the angel.

"I'm the last person he would be interested in if I was," Y/N cast one last look his way before turning back to the bar, ordering a drink. "Let's get this party started," She said to her friend, giving her a smile. She reminded herself to not get attached. Everyone leaves eventually.

Y/N and Freya were joined by Rebekah, but they couldn't quite tell who she was dressed as. All they could tell was that it was tight and it was spandex. The three danced and drank in the middle of the party, not a care in the world. Elijah watched from the bar protectively. Something about this woman was so magnetic, so charming. He couldn't bring himself to admit that there was a flame ignited in his heart at the sight of her. He doesn't let people in. She's a mortal witch, her life span was the blink of an eye compared to his. No, he wouldn't let himself get attached. She would see him for the monster he was. He turned to mingle with the crowd, although he never let the three women leave his line of sight.

Y/N was having the time of her life with her friends, drunkenly dancing the night away.

“I’m going to go grab more drinks!” She slurred to the other two girls. They cheered in response as she turned and stumbled toward the bar. She caught the bartender's attention and ordered. He returned with three shot glasses and she thanked him, turning to get back to dancing. Before she could take a step, she collided with someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She cried, slurring her words. She stumbled back to look at the person she collided with, finding the handsome angel she had been eyeing earlier. He pursed his lips, wiping the front of his suit with his handkerchief. “Elijah,” she gasped, “I am so sorry, let me he-”

“Do not bother, Y/N,” he said, holding his hand up. He glared in her direction, not looking in her eyes. She gulped at his response.

“Please, let me make it up to you,” She tried dipping her head to catch his eye. He turned and motioned to the bartender for more shots.

“Have a pleasant evening,” He nodded curtly at her and turned to walk away, leaving her standing there, unsure of what just happened. Anger flared in her chest as she watched the angel walk away. She grabbed one of the shots that the bartender had set out and downed it quickly. Taking the other two to her friends, she let the music take her away, continuing to party.

The night continued on and the party began to thin out, while the three girls in the center of the dance floor kept going, laughing and dancing. Elijah had kept his eyes on them, amazed at how the two witches could keep up with the vampire. Elijah looked around at the few stragglers left, sitting around drunkenly talking to one another. He made his way across the compound, heading towards the stairs to head up to his room for the night. The music was quieter now, not as upbeat. Y/N saw him moving across the dance floor and stumbled as fast as she could to get in front of him.

“Elijah,” She slurred, “Please let me apologize for earlier. Dance with me!” She scooped him away before he could object, wrapping her arms around his neck, not letting him leave.

“Y/N I-” He started, but she shushed him, swaying to the music.

“Elijah I know you don’t like me that much, and I don’t know why but I just want to let you know that I’m sorry for spilling those drinks on you and I’m sorry for making you hate me for whatever reason,” she drunkenly let her head fall on his chest while she spoke, her eyes fluttering shut.

Elijah’s eyes widened at her speech, his hands falling to rest on her back. She hummed at his touch and smiled, eyes still closed. “Y/N… I apologize for making you feel that way, that was not my intention.” He looked down at her, “I just wanted to keep you safe,” He whispered.

Suddenly Y/N slumped into him, dropping like dead weight. Elijah reacted quickly and scooped her up, seeing she had passed out. He looked toward Freya and Rebecca who had already fallen asleep on the couch, snuggling into each other. His heart warmed at the sight of his sisters together. He refocused on the beautiful woman in his arms and began to climb the stairs, heading toward his room. He gently opened the door and crossed the room, laying her in the bed and covering her up. She adjusted into the comfort of the bed, grabbing Elijah’s hand as he slid his arms out from underneath her.

“Stay with me?” she mumbled. His heart softened and he silently agreed, stripping out of his wings and suit jacket. He crossed to the other side of the bed and slid into it, careful not to touch her. She turned to him and opened her eyes slightly. “Will you hold me?” she asked quietly. Tears brimmed her eyes.

He nodded and opened his arms to her, confused and worried. “What’s wrong, darling?” He whispered.

She moved into his open arms and placed her head on his chest, wrapping one arm around the front of him tightly. He felt his shirt dampen where her head lay. He held her close, rubbing one hand up and down her back, waiting for a response. He felt her start to tremble next to him.

“I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified,” she whispered into him. She let out a small cry, scared of his reaction. “I’m terrified you’ll hate me for telling you. I’m terrified you’ll leave if we do end up together. I’m terrified of everything falling apart. I’m terrified of people leaving.”

Elijah’s heart cracked at her words.

“Y/N.. I think I’m terrified to admit the feelings I have for you. I wish nothing more than for your safety and happiness,” He kissed her hair and he felt her relax in his arms. She had fallen asleep on him, inebriated and vulnerable. Elijah held her for the rest of the night, stroking her hair and cherishing the moment.

When morning came, Y/N thought her head would explode. She groaned and rolled over, putting her hands over her face. The bed was empty beside her. How did she get in the bed? Her memory was fuzzy, but she remembered large white wings and strong arms carrying her. She sat up in bed, suddenly panicked, realizing who’s room she was in. What else had happened? She concentrated, squeezing her eyes shut. “I wish nothing more than for your safety and happiness,“ She remembered hearing his deep voice whisper to her before she fell asleep. Her heart thudded heavily in her chest. Had she dreamt of this confession? Did her drunken subconscious trick her into hearing his voice?

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway, startling her. She looked up to see Elijah holding a tray with water, aspirin, eggs, and toast. She blushed intensely, trying to brush her hair down and make herself look decent. He smiled at her warmly. “Good morning. I apologize for startling you,” He said. He crossed the room to her, putting the tray on the nightstand and sitting on the bed next to her.

He stared into her eyes, warmth flooding his chest. “It wasn’t a dream,” he said quietly, confirming her silent hope. He heard her heart flutter at his words.

Tears brimmed her eyes again. She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “What does this mean for us?” She whispered.

He reached out and moved her chin to look at him. “It means I love you.” He smiled at her. Tears spilled onto her cheeks as she smiled and leaned forward, closing the space between them. She kissed him with no regard for the world around them. Her hands moved to his neck, tangling in his chestnut hair. He pulled her close, deepening the kiss and laying her on the bed. The eggs and toast got cold before Y/N got to them.

“I’ve been wanting this since you asked me to dance that night.” Y/N said, playing with Elijah’s hand as they laid side by side. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my head.” She smiled.

He adjusted to put his arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her head. “You will never have to be terrified again. I am here and I’m not leaving you. You have my word.” He moved her chin with his free hand to gaze into her Y/E/C eyes. He kissed her again, hoping to convey his pent up love and lust in one kiss. He knew he’d never be able to make her understand the depths of his affection for her. Just as he knew he may never know the extent of hers for him.

She pulled away slightly and whispered, “I love you and I’m not terrified anymore.”

#elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson x reader #The Originals #Check out my wattpad in my bio!!!#freya mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #hope mikaelson #tvd universe #Elijah Mikaelson imagine #rebekah mikaelson #the originals #the originals fanfiction #fic

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keepcalmandcarryfire · 3 years

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From Eroica With Love incorrect quotes 😁😁

(just Dorian, James and Klaus because tbh I get everyone else mixed up way too much to do this with them)

Adding a read more bar right off the bat bc this is gonna be looooong.

James, texting: Answer your phone Dorian, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone James: Understood James, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Dorian.

Dorian: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I’m drunk. Dorian: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now. James: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home.

Klaus: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Dorian: What? Klaus: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Dorian: I'm gonna need a human skull but you can't ask why. James: Only if you also don't ask why. James: *pulls four pristine human skulls out of his bag* Dorian: ... Dorian, grabbing a skull: This one will do.

James: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon. Dorian: Spear. James: BLOCKED.

James: How much did you spend on this date? Dorian: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

Dorian: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Dorian: I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.

Klaus: Dorian, we tried things your way. Dorian: No, we didn't. Klaus: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Klaus: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

James: You use emoji’s like a straight person. Dorian: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. James: I choose to waive that right! James: *screaming*

Dorian: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Klaus: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Dorian: Th-that's not how that works-

James: Do you know a turtles only weakness? Dorian: No... well, their slowness. James: Their weakness is they can't roll over when they are on their backs. James: Now I have a plan. James: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Dorian: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. James: And you came to me?

James: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? Dorian: James, it's four o'clock in the morning. James: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

Dorian: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Klaus: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

Dorian, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. James: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

James: I can't imagine what Dorian is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

Dorian: Are you mad? Klaus: No. Dorian: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Dorian: The time to act is now. Dorian: Wink, wink. James: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink. Dorian: Oh, sorry. Dorian: Wink.

James: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page. James: But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”. Dorian: That’s not even clever.

Dorian: Do you want to play 20 Questions? James: Sure! James: What’s your favorite color? Dorian, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

Klaus: Dorian... Dorian: Oh no, 'Dorian' in B flat. Dorian: You're disappointed.

Dorian: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. James: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

James: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Dorian. James: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for. James: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it. Dorian: Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either. James: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though. Dorian: Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it. James: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

Dorian: Relationships should be 50/50. James cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Dorian: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Klaus: Aren't you forgetting something? Dorian: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Klaus's forehead before running out.* Klaus: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

James: You read my diary? Dorian: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

James, looking at a selfie of Dorian’s: I hate this photo. Dorian: I’m cute as fuck in that photo! I’m smiling kindly. James: You’re not smiling kindly; you look like you’re up to something. Dorian: Up to kindness.

Klaus: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet. Dorian: Nat 20 Charisma. Klaus: That is NOT how that works-

Dorian: We have fun, don’t we, James? James: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

Dorian: James! Have you no dignity? James: Of course not! How long have we known each other?

Klaus, to the Alphabets: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

Dorian: If I see a bug, I simply leave the room elegantly and require someone else do something about it. Dorian: If no one fulfills my wish, I simply never go back in there.

Dorian: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Klaus: Okay. Dorian: And make out during the scary parts. Klaus: Th- Klaus: The scary parts. Klaus: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

James: I want to kiss you. Dorian, not paying attention: What? James: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

James: Did you like the food I made? Dorian: No, not really. James: But I put my heart and soul into it! Dorian: No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

Dorian: I made tea. Klaus: I don't want tea. Dorian: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea. Klaus: Then why did you tell me? Dorian: It's a conversation starter. Klaus: It's a horrible conversation starter. Dorian: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Dorian: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all? James: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

Klaus: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

Dorian: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.

James: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Klaus: All of your existences are confusing. The Alphabets: How so? Klaus: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

Klaus: I could kill you if I wanted. Dorian: Yeah? So could any other human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren't special.

#incorrect quotes #from eroica with love

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auroracalisto · 4 years

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surprise parties

requested by anonymous: Hii! If the bingo requests are still open can you do a one shot of elijah x reader with the birthday prompt it can be like rebekah throwing a birthday party for the reader or just like elijah fluff, up to you <33

pairing: elijah x reader, platonic mikaelsons x reader

word count: 975 words

warnings: alcohol mentions????

author’s notes: is it really a surprise party if you don’t yell surprise? idk and i don’t care tbh i’m just wondering. also, YES! bingo requests are still open!! i actually haven’t had any, so thank you so much for being the first! i hope this fills your request. it was fun writing it and elijah is so,,,, ugh i just love him. i hope you enjoy!

“Come, come,” smiled Elijah as he took your hand.

You looked up at your boyfriend, confusion playing it’s turn on your happy face. “Where are you taking me?” you asked, lacing your fingers with his.

He just smiled and leaned in to kiss your cheek. “I need to show you something.”

The two of you had spent most of the day in your bedroom. For much of the time, you were under the impression that his siblings and your friends had simply forgotten that today was your birthday. He comforted you, but it still hurt. However, he made you happy just by being there and watching movies with you.

Subtle hints throughout the day should have revealed to you what Elijah was taking you to, but you simply had no reason to think of anything.

That is, until he took you out to the backyard.

You stood still for a moment before a big smile grew. “What is this, Elijah?”

Rebekah came running up to you and she smiled. “Did you figure it out before Elijah brought you? We were going to yell surprise, but Klaus decided he’d rather just come up to you and say happy birthday, so here I am, being the first,” she laughed, giving you a tight hug.

You blushed and smiled at your friend, looking towards Elijah.

“Is this why you kept me inside all day?”

Elijah just smiled.

Kol was the next to greet you, then Freya, and then Klaus.

But as soon as Klaus greeted you happy birthday, Elijah turned you away from the rest of the guests and he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I’m sorry you felt like they forgot. But I can assure you, it was all so they could plan your party.”

You smiled at him. “I didn’t need a party, Elijah...”

“I know. But Rebekah wanted to hold one for you. And she wasn’t taking no for an answer. At least you were able to spend all of your time with me, and not with Kol. He requested to take you rock climbing.”

“Rock—“

“—yes,” Elijah rolled his eyes but then he just smiled at you. “Happy birthday, my love.”

You blushed and smiled in return. “Thank you, Elijah.”

You hugged onto him, turning your head slightly just so you could see everything.

Rebekah stood excitedly to the side as she looked around at her work. She did a marvelous job, and she knew it, too. You pulled away from Elijah and walked over to your friend, taking her hand.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “It means a lot to me. And it’s beautiful. The backyard was already gorgeous, but you just made it even better.”

Rebekah grinned at you. “Thank you. But this is all for me. Stop thanking me and go say hi to your guests!” she laughed. “Look at the gift table. I swear, I counted thirty—”

“—I counted thirty one,” Kol said, just in passing.

Rebekah rolled her eyes before she took your hand, leading you to say hi to everyone else who came to the party she held for you.

Elijah smiled and watched, wondering how he got so lucky to have such a beautiful soul like you by his side. He also praised whatever was out there for the nice weather. It could have been awful, today, but instead, the Universe decided that it would be your favorite kind of weather just for your birthday.

Klaus came up beside of Elijah and handed him a red solo cup filled with whiskey.

Elijah rose an eyebrow. “Rebekah will kill if you if she sees these—”

“Kol was in charge of cups. She’ll tear him a new one, when she realizes he didn’t buy what she asked for. In fact, it looks like she’s on her way to tell him now,” he laughed, watching as Rebekah dragged you along with a red solo cup in her other hand, waving it at her younger brother. “How old is your other?” he asked, taking a drink out of his own cup.

“Another year older, Klaus. Another year that I will not ask them to turn,” he frowned. “But I will. I want to spend the rest of my life with them, Klaus. Every single year. I mean it.”

“I know you do, brother. I see the way you look at them.” Klaus gave his brother a soft smile. “I’m going to save Kol. Go and save [Your name] while you’re at it.”

Elijah just smiled and followed behind Klaus to where the three of you stood. He was captivated by the smile you held on your beautiful lips.

As soon as he was upon the three of you, he took ahold of your wrist and pressed a kiss to your lips. As passionate as it was, it confused you.

“Just wanted to wish you happy birthday. Again,” Elijah grinned when he pulled back.

You tilted your head, unable to stop yourself from laughing. “Thank you, Elijah.” You looked towards the other Mikaelson’s, watching as Freya came to join the conversation. “Thank you. All of you. I...” you looked towards the party-goers, your smile unmistakable. “I am so grateful for all of you. Birthday party or no party. Each of you make my birthdays unforgettable.”

Elijah smiled and kissed your forehead. “Come. Let’s get to cutting the cake so everyone else can leave.”

You laughed and nodded, looking towards your friends. “Thank you,” you repeated, letting Elijah pull you towards the cake. Rebekah followed close behind you, wanting to light the candles and start the song before anyone else could.

Klaus watched how happy just a simple smile could make his brother. A part of him was jealous, but the other part made him grateful that his brother had such a kind person as his significant other.

#elijah mikaelson x reader #the originals #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #mikaelsons x reader #kol mikaelson #freya mikaelson #elijah x reader #elijah mikaelson #fluff #birthdays #surprise party

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itsthenovelteafactor · 4 years

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Umbrella Patrol: Part 1

Still in a TUA headspace, and really enjoying Doom Patrol! I feel like there is a lot of potential for fun crossovers between these shows, and some neat parallels between them. Here are some very disorganized ideas because I’m too busy to write out an actual fic:

note: these are primarily based on s1 of Doom Patrol and s1&2 of tua because I am still in the middle of watching Doom Patrol s2. I would love (love! love! love!) to chat with other people who like both of these shows, but know i am still in the “avoiding s2 spoilers” stage. I might do more of these after I finish s2, hence “part 1″

- they would not get along well in the beginning because, let’s face it, neither group has a very good track record for getting along well with anyone ever. (love them all to death) would a fight break out? probably. would all of the team members and powers and general chaos get so confusing for everyone involved that they would have to stop fighting to try and figure out what was going on? most likely.

- Five definitely knows about the Doom Patrol from when he worked at the commission and was probably very relieved to not have been the person assigned to deal with the whole De-Creator/Re-Creator debacle.

- Vic is probably at least aware of the Umbrella Academy because they were pretty famous as kids, but has no idea what really happened to them after except there was this huge scandal a few years ago when one of them wrote a book about how they were all secretly assholes? Something like that.

- Allison is a fan of Rita’s work (I’m thinking she played one of her characters in a remake), but remembers hearing that she was kind of a terrible person? She isn’t sure. I feel like it’d be awkward initially but they’d end up vibing and talking about acting and Hollywood and having the team braincell.

- Diego: So... you’re a robot. Cliff: Yeah. Klaus: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!! Diego: Our Mom’s a robot.

- Cliff is like “well, I nearly died and then the guy who I thought was my mentor did an experimental procedure on me that left me in a body that I’m uncomfortable with and feeling like a monster and a freak and I’m unable to interact with people and be seen as normal because of it and am also incredibly strong and worry about accidentally hurting the people I care about and oh, turns out the guy who I trusted and thought was my mentor turned out to be the worst person ever who was only using me as a means to an end” and Luther’s just “same hat!”

- There is definitely confusion around the whole “we travelled back in time to the 60s were not actually from then - can you imagine we’d be so old now?” and “we are actually from the 50s/60s we’re just long lived due to a series of horrifying experiments that were done to us wtf you’re all literally children”

- Dorothy sees Five and is like friend! My own age! And Vanya tries to gently explain that Five is mentally 58, he only looks 13 and that’s how they figure out that Dorothy’s actually over 100 years old. Somewhere in the confusion Five ends up agreeing to attend a tea party.

- Klaus meets Danny. Enough said.

- But also,,, let’s say more because it makes me very happy to think about. Klaus meets Danny and just feels so at home and gets to talk about fashion with Maura and drag his siblings into singing karaoke and the Hargreeves get to show off their A+ dancing skills

- TBH, they all try to explain what’s been happening with them and the Hargreeves all thought “well out lives couldn’t be any weirder” and then they hear about the puppet show and are just like “...okay, nevermind. we were mistaken. please continue” while for the most part the Doom Patrol are like “okay, butler’s a chimp, that guy’s in love with a mannequin, all checks out”

- Larry and Klaus talking about their time in the military and dealing with homophobia. Larry and Luther talking about isolation and taking care of plants.

- Vanya playing the violin while the Hangman’s Beautiful Daughter paints.

- They at one point get drunk and have a “who’s father figure was worse” competition but somehow halfway through it devolves into Jane and Diego each being that one John Mulaney bit (do you want me to kill that guy for you?? because it sounds like he sucks, and I’d totally kill that guy for you)

- Cliff definitely has some Robot-envy around Grace like, wow she looks and moves like an entire regular human wtf Niles? she shows him how to make smiley-face pancakes.

- I have no idea how this would work logistically but Ben and Larry would vibe you can’t change my mind.

- There was definitely some crossover between members of the Cult of the Re-Creator and Destiny’s Children (I’m not sure which one was first chronologically, but I was thinking about the one guy who was like “this is way better than last cult I was in” and how funny it would be if he was talking about Klaus’ cult) . I feel like Klaus and Dr. Harrison have a very weird kind of bond over it.

- Vic “I am literally asking for the bare minimum here in terms of heroics please could you all just follow simple instructions for twenty minutes so the world doesn’t literally explode” and Five just *acknowledging nod of mutual frustration*

- Mr. Nobody keeps talking about crossovers and some guy from My Chemical Romance. no one quite gets it.

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years

Text

The Catboy Valois AU

This one is a little cursed, and inspired by this Totally Spies post.

This AU does contain some nsfw content, which I will place at the end of the post and mark for (it’s right after the dog pics). Once again, this was brainstormed on the GG server, back in October of 2019. Biggest contributor other than myself was @atagotiak.

So I decided that, at some point, I need to see one of those inexplicable and very horny modern catpeople AUs.

Where a fraction of the population just happens to have cat ears and tails etc. for... minimal reason.

Tarvek def has them. Bc twink. Sticking to the tropes, you know.

All the Valois are catpeople because most of history didn't have the option of interbreeding, just coexisting. Something something sterile hybrids because chromosomes.

Andronicus Valois, Catboy King

Lucrezia was full human and Aaronev never had a chance.

"Most of history" because recently they scienced up ways to get around it, so there are catperson/human hybrids, like Gil and Zeetha (Klaus is human, Zanta is not).

Klaus is kinda glad Gil has cat ears bc this makes people automatically assume he can’t be the dad even if they realize it’s technically possible.

This means Agatha gets her boys.

The human (Lars), the hybrid (Gil), and the cat (Tarvek).

Anevka's initial robot body doesn't have the cat features just due to the fact that Tarvek was aiming for Bare Minimum, and then when he added them in later she decided she liked being able to pick when she had them.

I am morally obligated to reblog the callout art @mercurialvoid did for me a few years ago.

We’re not gonna talk about that, though.

human Othar/catgirl Anevka

SCENT MARKING

It's considered Undignified but everyone still DOES it, just... discreetly.

Agatha thinks nothing of it when Zeetha rubs their cheeks together while training and then someone looks at her funny and asks if that's her girlfriend or something.

And Agatha Realizes that she's currently got Belongs-to-Zeetha scent on her and has to scramble to explain that Zeetha kind of adopted her as a little sister because it's the closest approximation she can come up with that still has Acceptable Connotations.

I think platonic marking is a THING but mostly within families, children, and really close female friends, like holding hands. (Toxic masculinity does apply.)

And kolee-zumil is effectively family relationship.

Agatha can't SMELL the scent markings but she gets used to them.

Also like. There's probably different levels of scent marking depending on the body part. Wrists and cheeks are different.

Jagers that used to be catboys have better senses of smell, and are the ones sent to find a Heterodyne.

Agatha and Lars make out but don't go all the way because Agatha is not ready. (Meanwhile, Zeetha can literally smell how horny these dumb kids are.)

TINY BABY GILVEK FACE NUZZLES WHILE STILL ON CW:

(Imagine how much more dangerous the baby gilvek airship-exploring shenanigans would be given one is a catboy and the other is half catboy.)

Gil just kinda scent marks on literally everything/everyone. The boy is affection-starved well into adulthood. He probably purrs too. And purring is probably considered kinda undignified.

Tarvek purrs when he’s designing clothes in his head. He’s embarrassed when he realizes. Everyone thinks it’s cute tho.

Also when crafting super-complicated diabolical plans.

Purring isn’t very diabolical. So it’s embarrassing and doesn’t fit with the aesthetic at all.

It’s hard to do an evil scheme while being an image-conscious catboy.

Gil only. Sort of knows how to cat. He's not very good at it. Zulenna helped but...

Is Von Pinn a cat? Gut says yes. Though it makes it less likely she'd be mistaken for Lu as the students did, but hey! She’d appreciate that.

She probably wouldn’t know how to cat.

Or maybe she would, given we’re assuming hereditary and she was made for Andronicus... She probably knows a bit abt how to tell other people how to cat, but she doesn’t know how to cat herself.

The Muses... not designed to look like catpeople. Ruined the minimalist bodies RVR was going for, going by canon's lack of consistent ears or noses

Agatha does not realize at first that Von-Pinn is a cat-lady because her ears match her hair and every time she sees Agatha her ears go back, and the tail is hidden under the hobble dress.

Otilia is very happy to go from catwoman body to Giant Metal Cat body

KITTY BANGLADESH DUPREE

She's got a faint pattern to her fur that's, on closer inspection, very much indicating she's a PANTHER.

Consider: Tarvek starts working himself up into a frenzied panic and the nearest Trusted Person starts petting him to calm him down and he like. Melts.

TBH tho, a good portion of canon Tarvek’s behaviour can already be described as “cat does something stupid and immediately after attempts to pretend he has dignity even though everyone saw the stupid thing.”

Once Tarvek calms down... Lazy Cat Time.

NECK PINCH

CH would be ecstatic that Agatha snagged two suitors, then swing around to devastated that they’re both catboys, and maybe delusional enough to attempt to cut the ears/tails off like that’d solve anything then come around to “well there’s always science” once it’s fixed.

All Valois have high necks on their outfits, at least at the back

So nobody tries to Deactivate The Cat

(One less thing for Anevka to worry about.)

Because, you know. Canon decided to cut Agatha in half to acquire an heir, so we can’t exactly say the Castle is all that sensible.

It does calm down once Agatha mentions she has Lars, though.

Per @lyratalus: Krosp could be... so much more dangerous in this AU. What if he was designed to be emperor of all catpeople?

Cats never do what they're told anyways, and you can’t really control people without wasps, but the attempt was made! Vapnoople was ambitious!

Long story short, there's a spark of Something but then they just bat him off the table.

Imagine Seffie making Martellus Stop by deactivating the cat

Violetta is the cutest lil catgirl...

SHE GETS REALLY BRISTLEY WHEN SHE'S MAD

HE'S NOT A TWINK AND IT'S WEIRD. Not even a twunk???

Martellus is

So fucking ODD for a catboy

Like it HAPPENS but it means that human women are more likely to find him attractive than catgirls (and even that's a bit of a long shot on the basis of personality).

(Gil excused from the catboys-are-twink-to-twunk rule on the basis of being half human, and his dad being Basically A Wall.)

That said, for Andy I’m gonna go with "buff as fuck but sooooooo charismatic that all the catgirls, and human girls, flocked to him anyway."

So that’s at least two Bara catboys in this AU

Tarvek is canonically more or less the same size/shape as Gil, but... in my heart, Tarvek’s a twunk. He’s got muscle but he's not AS big, and he's got intense Twink energy, especially since Tarvek actually is queer.

(And they're both straight so they're not even technically bara, just Buff.)

(Not twinks either but...)

(Twink is a fun word.)

Colette is human and Seffie isn't but they'd need science for babies ANYWAY so who cares? It's a lot of Seffie laying her head in Colette's lap and purring as she falls asleep because Colette just keeps petting her.

Catboy Martellus still makes sparkhound shapeshifters. He's a catperson... but he's still a Dog Person.

Martellus and his dynamic with the sparkhounds:

He loves them, they love him. But they’re embarrassing sometimes.

THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE NSFW CONTENT

ANYWAY back to the point, which is that a lot of these catperson AUs are just... really super horny.

Which is valid.

Ears are technically erogenous zones for everyone but for the cat people... it's a Lot. It's also not like. Inherently sexual? But it can be. Like spooning. It feels nice ALWAYS but with the right person it's also HORNY. Or like brushing someone else's hair.

Ear rubs and headpats that result in like, intense sensation? Good actually.

Also I’m declaring that catpeople have heats. Or at least like. Heightened mating seasons? Extra horny times.

So you have Agatha and Lars normal, Gil kinda horny and confused, and Tarvek rubbing himself against the nearest spouse in hopes that someone's going to fuck the living daylights out of him.

Valois probably take suppressing things as a matter of course bc it’s hard to stay alert to assassination attempts when overwhelmingly horny. When Tarvek deliberately forgoes them eventually, everyone is touched by how much trust it shows.

Without suppressants, the horny is either something you can cope with or something that is intense but comes in Very brief periods. Either one day a month, or a week twice a year? Something like that.

Honestly though, imagine if Gil tried to hide being a catperson for the sake of the Empire or some nonsense, and had to just suffer when in heat?

Agatha likes to watch the boys go at it because there's something about Fangs On Neck that's super pleasurable for cat people and she can't provide that for Tarvek but Gil certainly can.

Bonding marks aren't a thing but possessive biting is.

(Since birth control is so easily accessed in GG, I feel like Lu’s opinion of catboys would be a super gross objectifying thing.)

(Which. Yeah.)

(Lucrezia basically has that opinion on any man in canon that isn’t immediately useful to her for science reasons.)

#Girl Genius #Valois Family #Tarvek Sturmvoraus #Gilgamesh Wulfenbach #Gilvek #Agatha Heterodyne #human animal hybrids #GG OT3 #Lars #Anevka Sturmvoraus #Martellus von Blitzengaard #Violetta Mondarev #Xerxsephnia von Blitzengaard #Colette Voltaire #Zeetha Wulfenbach #Otilia #Andronicus Valois #Lucrezia Mongfish #Phoenix Posts

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anonil88 · 4 years

Text

We Are Who We Are Ep 1 thoughts.

Heads up I've started writing these halfway into an episode so I'm immersed pretty into it and can make a well rounded reaction.

Interesting set up and premise. But I wonder how well this will be executed.

Very open free spirit household.

Those kids are pieces of shit for inviting him and then bullying him. He is a little weird but a sweetheart.

Also HE LIKES FASHION of course he does.

He's a bit of an alcoholic it seems or just likes alcohol which can teeter the line. Oh no he had to leave his lil boyfriend 😭.

Aw his other mom picked him up.

Ooo throw up shot nice smh.

This mustn't be the first time he's been drunk or gotten in trouble.

Sigh theres always a parent who saves the day no matter straight or gay.

Ahh military parents getting caught in their ego and ignoring their partners and kids.

Oooo "Americans can only be happy in America"...."This is America." Gotta love that US based are tiny bits of America but lineal spaces.

Wait is Fraser autistic? Or does he have any mental disorders? Maybe I'm only saying that because my family would have drop kicked me if I'd slapped my mom unless (when I was younger with less coping skills) was having an outburst of sorts.

Whattt dead? Whatttt? Oh he's still drunk.

Thank goodness he still had some clothes packrf like I would have had a full panic attack if my luggage was lost oversees with my designer clothes. (I'm assuming designer because his granddad has schmoney but he also gives me cates about his looks.)

Thats a nice jacket though, I think Commes Des Garcons is the brand or at least this is an inspired piece.

Oh okay Fraser I see you have some lil crushes forming. That soldier foine tho he's probably like 18. So eee idk bout that cause he's underage. (Edit: Fraser is 17 so if the soldier is 18 its not illegal but i'd rather Fraser not get community ass or dick. No more cmbyn Luca.)

The music selection is pretty great like Klaus Nomi ??

CUDI !!! Wait Cudi is their, Caitlin's dad :0

The military regulations are pretty clean. Her voice and commands could be a bit cleaner though. But maybe that's on purpose because shes gotta be nervous af now commanding a base.

Fuck you Colonel.

This base is pretty nice btw.

Oop okay subtle flirtatious behavior and noone can kick you out of the US military for being queer now...kind of. Oh he's just a giant flirt also again can we not do the minor and grown ass adult thing.

Loving Maggie and Fraser's relationship. But I feel like Sarah and Fraser's relationship is going to be whirlwind.

Oh thank the lord his clothes have come omg all designer/custom piece .

Just let them be them jeez everyone has to find themselves regardless of if you like or agree with it or not. Ahh Caitlin/Harper is living a double life hmm exploring their identity.

Lmfao Fraser said you're like me so lets talk, but I won't out you.

So overall thoughts the editing is a bit choppy like all over the place. Which is kind of disorienting and I don't know if a lot of people are going to enjoy that. Editing can really break shows even good ones. But characters wise I'll say Cait/Harper is a mystery and it took me a second but I got that they were staring at Fraser because Fraser seems very obviously nyc and probably more understanding. But they have no idea how to approach Fraser so they were just staring and tbh queer folk yes thats what we look like its sometimes obvious that we all stare at eachother with a certain wonder, confusion, and excitement even past the baby gay stage.

I feel like Fraser is a person who goes through the world in a daze like floating from one space to another. It makes him scatter brained and different, his interests vary but this is about him learning. I like him though just don't know much about him yet. Of course if I had to relate him to any character from another popular adult show that centers teens he's a more chaotic windmill version of Jules from Euphoria. Speaking of which I think this show might have a hard time carving out its own identity because of their shared platform. This premiere was like world building and very very vague so we only have touches on each character.

I will keep watching because I would like to see where this story is going to go. Also to see the acting chops of these new young actors. I am hoping that the next episode gives us the viewers more to hold onto rather than dental floss attached to ceiling post by nails. But, I just hope we get more clarity rather than just vague things we need to piece together in the future. Which btw works super well for movies but not always TV. So adapting that style to TV is gonna be interesting.

[Also funny how most actors first big role their characters name sounds like their name lol.]

Preview: so everyone just doing everyone but, this seems like it is going to be very sad and dark which is fine with me.

Sorry this is so long.

#we are who we are #we are who we are hbo #wawwa hbo #wawwa #jack dylan grazer #luca guadagnino #francesca manieri #wawwa liveblog

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in-tua-deep · 3 years

Note

Are you into my hero academia? What about an AU or crossover with tua?

UHHHH I am technically, like, peripherally? I watched some seasons of the show like two or three years ago and since then have simply absorbed all content through osmosis, reading fanfiction that has canon events, and my sister telling me about the arcs of her fav characters lmao

so a crossover hmmm

First of all you'd have to like, establish whether bnha is an alternate universe or just The Future If No Apocalypse with quirks being traced back to the descendants of the kids born without mothers

So let's say it's that - the glowing baby was the "first quirk" but the truth is people had powers before that. But - well, the Umbrella Academy was obviously a marketing gimmick to those in the future! There were even comics based on them

In the future, you might find some of those comics in museum exhibits dedicated to depictions of powers in the pre-quirk era, but they're just fun depictions and much less popular than, oh, DC or MCU comics which are also in the exhibits!

End of s2 doesn't happen I guess in this au?? No sparrow academy at least lmao. So, the Umbrella Academy stop the apocalypse (again) and the Commission threat is? Neutralized? Whatever. They decide to jump back to the future

Five warns them that time travel is a crapshoot, that he has no fucking idea when they'll land beyond some nebulous "future" because Five can at least control the direction if not exactly how long

Also, Five is like. Super tired. Incredibly tired. Homeboy still has a healing gut wound, time traveled twice, has been jumping all over the place, gotten even more injured, experienced paradox psychosis, and managed to undo time all in the space of like, two weeks. There actually more than that but we don't have time to get into how fucking tired Five is from his ~Month of Hell

Like genuinely this is like putting someone almost delirious from lack of sleep in the driver's seat of a car and expecting to get to your destination in one piece

But hey, the siblings are like "do it uwu" and Five has sacrificed everything for them already so why not get behind the wheel again

So Five jumps them, and of course something goes wrong because Five has pushed his powers like a great big rubber band and honestly it was only a matter of time before he lost his grip and it snapped back to hit him

So here be the umbrella academy: spilled out into the future like a cup of bad coffee.

Five probably isn't in too good of shape tbh, like they're hundreds of years in the future (but hey at least confirmation of no apocalypse am I right) in a world full of superpowers and Five is like. bleeding from his ears and nose probably idk

Let's handwave a little bit - Reginald made them all polyglots so the squad all speak varying levels of Japanese. Allison is the best at it, Five is second best but tends to use more archaic words bc he had missions in Japan back when he was with the commission, and Klaus is third best.

(Ben is the worst bc he decided when he was 16-and-dead that he didn't have to do anything regarding lessons and maintenance and hasn't given a shit since - but also he's dead so)

So you have a bunch of weird adults with a bleeding child in like, an alley who have appeared from nowhere

so of course heroes get involved

Anyway, the squad get taken in and Five is conscious but like, barely? And he's not going to let himself get separated from his siblings again fuck-you-officer and there is a lot of confusion

anyway detective tsukauchi ends up getting involved and ends up having to hear this batshit story and be like "...truth." which sends all kinds of people scrambling because fucking time travel? Like yeah, it's been theorized to be a possible quirk but there's no recorded cases of any sort of time travel that is for more than 24 hours let alone hundreds of years

"I'm an adult." Five says sourly, "I just happened to be returned to my 13 year old body when I time traveled one time."

"True." Tsukauchi says, feeling his soul leave his body, but like. absently. the way he does when he's called in at 2am after getting off of work at midnight.

"I'm 58." Five says.

"Lie." Tsukauchi says, because this is a headcanon hill I will die on.

"I'm probably 58, but it was hard to keep track. I'm at least 50." Five corrects.

"True." Tsukauchi sighs like these six (seven? they keep referring to another sibling and Klaus said 'ghost' like that was fine and it registered as true and Tsukauchi is not nearly paid enough for this) are not giving him a migraine by just existing

on the bright side there's like, probably protocols in place for individuals who are Legally Chronologically Adults but thanks to quirks are Not Physically Or Not Mentally Adults with tests to determine if the individual needs a guardian or not

though i'm gonna be honest idk if Five would pass the test bc he literally cannot take care of himself at all, has never paid taxes or understands how to exist legally, and also his emotional maturity is stunted as all hell. also like. we don't actually know how much being in his thirteen-year-old body affects his mental state but yeAH Five is vibing

anyway Tsukauchi probably phones a friend on this bullshit because Time Travel Child alone is probably enough for the Hero Commission to be like "find a way to control and use it or nuke it from orbit" and that's not even touching whatever the fuck Klaus is doing (shit gets real once 'dead men tell no tales' stops being true) let ALONE Allison's whole deal

on the bright side like, at least Vanya isn't getting side-eyed that much bc Big Destructive Quirks aren't exactly unknown? if vanya wanted to i guess quirk suppressors exist for that until extensive training on how to control a super powerful quirk happens

Tsukauchi in the group chat: Aizawa please I am literally begging you to take this bullshit on

Aizawa: in this economy? with my class?

RatGod: lol we'll take them ;3c

Aizawa: no

Anyway they probably end up having to live at UA while Five insists on trying to get them home still and everyone else is like "oh hey we used to be child soldiers as well! (:" and Aizawa is like "i hate everything about this and everything about all of you but also like nedzu is making me interact with you so :/"

nedzu is out here vibing like "lol i just don't want the hero commission to get their little paws on these time traveling fuckers, i think you should make then teaching assistants or something"

honestly the siblings are probably like. figuring out how to function in the bnha universe and getting like, legally registered and stuff while Five ferally refuses bc that's like saying he's giving up on getting them home and he can do this

Recovery girl tries to heal him a little when he arrives and he passes out for two weeks like, immediately bc homeboy is running on fumes and spite at this point

also i think on principle it would be REALLY FUNNY if the squad got to tag along with the class bc like. Five is thirteen and the class are all 15. this does not sound like a large age gap. anyone who has interacted with teenagers know that the class would squint at Five and be like "who is this sassy lost middle schooler."

I feel like when I was a sophomore we were still like "freshman... babie" even though we were literally only one year older.

i think the difference between the umbrella academy and school kids would be pretty funny like. objectively the bnha kids are lowkey child soldiers?? like they're 15 and fighting villains but like, there's all this red tape and laws and stuff but,,, deku still be breaking his limbs in a child fighting ring against equally superpowered children for like. entertainment and sponsorships sooo

but also like Five would be like "oh cool when is the experimentation class"

"the what"

"you know, when your powers are pushed real hard by putting you in different terrible situations while your dad and sibling stand by with clipboards writing down the exact voltage it takes before you can't use your powers anymore when being electrocuted"

"hound dog's office is right there. therapy is available to you at any time. i need you to know this."

all might calls Luther "my boy" like one (1) time and Luther just breaks down crying probably because he is starved for positive attention

klaus and midnight get along like a literal house on fire, aizawa tried his best to keep them apart for as long as possible but god damn

(klaus: your name is shimura nana??

all might: immediately dies choking on blood)

i feel it absolutely necessary to point out that aizawa, present mic, and midnight are all like, 30? and the umbrella academy are all between 29-early 30s? they are PEERS but like. the umbrella academy are more chaotic due to childhood trauma

the umbrella academy probably get offered to like. also train to be heroes. i mean,, there HAS to be some sort of track for people who change careers right?? you don't have to cement your future as a hero when you're 15 i'm sure there must be something and the squad already have experience if they want to go be legal heroes

diego probably does at least?? diego just vibes honestly. diego gets momo to make knives during a team exercise and they just go feral on everyone else and it ends with diego highfiving momo and someone getting way to close to being stabbed for comfort

Five might just be. legally enrolled as an Actual Student? But also i think it's funny to picture the entire squad just. all in the back of the classroom with luther trying to fit into a high school desk as they take notes on the laws of The Future surrounding heroics

every word out of the umbrella academy's mouths just make everyone more concerned on principal but like, five and klaus are probably the worst offenders. Klaus just says whatever comes to mind with no filter and Five doesn't get what people would consider to be abnormal anymore like

Five: yeah our dad bought us when we were babies and experimented on us throughout our childhood in order to make an elite team of child soldiers superheroes, it happens

Todoroki: ...have you heard of quirk marriages?

izuku probably has an aneurism bc he's is the only person who might recognize them from the comics because you know ya boy extensively researched the idea of heroics in pre-quirk eras (batman was an inspiration alright???) and might dredge up a memory of a less popular comic series

Five: I can time travel but it is very hard, which is why we are hundreds of years in the future. And why I look like a child.

Kaminari: so are you a kid or not?

Five, serenely: whatever is most convenient for me at any given moment

Mina: hell yeah game the system

they have a brief lesson on astronomy and Luther raises his hand like "ooh! i was isolated on the moon for four years and did SO MUCH research" and then just gets up and starts infodumping like way too much information on the moon

Izuku sitting there like "damn if quirks hadn't popped up we could have achieved so much in terms of space travel. please tell me more giant man who lived in pre-quirk era."

Vanya finds out about the quirkless and is like "oh mood that genuinely sounds like my childhood, being ordinary in a house full of extraordinary people, and then i found out that i did have powers but only much later in life after i had already been emotionally scarred by the experience"

deku: vanya we have so much in common

iida and uraraka: concerned noises

aizawa: hound dog. therapy with hound dog for all of you.

there's probably some conflict with like, the hero commission wanting to get their hands on the time travelers?? but probably especially five and klaus as a) time travel and b) ghosts (the hc def has bodies they would like to stay buried)

five has a pavlovian reaction to anything with 'commission' in the name and hates them on site, probably plays into his age in order to become a ward of UA or something to protect him from the commission a little bit.

(this makes nedzu Five's legal guardian. aizawa has his resignation papers all prepped in a drawer marked 'in case of emergency' but let's be real, if nedzu wants to take over the world aizawa should probably be on the rat-bear's side of things :/)

five: ah, i do recall the inhumane experimentation that we were subjected to

nedzu, who was experimented on: haha same hat! want me to dig up the location of reginald hargreeves's remains so you can spit on them?

klaus: nah no worries we dumped them out in the courtyard unceremoniously like, a while back. how long ago varies for each of us because of time travel!

luther: you said hound dog's office was down the hall and to the right?

on the bright side, Luther probably feels like. way less self conscious about his body, partially bc of his fighting and all that in the 60s but also bc !! now he genuinely doesn't feel like a freak. no one even gives him a second glance. one of the teachers looks like a slab of cement with a face. gang orca looks Like That. there is literally a student with an entire bird head and goth aesthetic. Luther does not stick out at all

allison and shinso bond over having "villainous" voice-based quirks

allison and shinso having worn muzzles at some point in their youth as punishment 🤝

aizawa probably helps train vanya as well with the whole, being able to erase a world ending quirk safely thing he's got going on which makes for a very nice safety net

i don't think vanya would want to be a hero at the end of things though. maybe the assistant teacher in the music class or something?? all vanya wants is to be able to not end the world

i feel like as time goes by, five brings up trying to get home less and less. part of that is because like,,, genuinely what do they have to go back to?? Allison has Claire, but like. I'm 100% sure the first thing she did in the future was try track down Claire's records and found out Claire was like. fine. became an adult, had a family, probably became the ancestor of the first "quirked" kids who officially popped up after light baby. had a good life, died at an old age etc. etc.

they start settling into the bnha world with like, "we can always hop aboard the five express into where the fuck ever" as a plan Z if things go completely pear shaped (again)

i'mma be real, five himself doesn't give a fuck as long as there is a) no apocalypse and b) his family is alive. Like that's it. His bar is so incredibly low and yet his life keeps fucking trying to limbo under it

i just think it would be funny to have like, Five trying to get along with his "peers" and make friends while the siblings do the same but like, in the staff room

also think it would be funny for five to just walk into the staff room and get coffee occasionally.

a teacher: why is a student in here -

Five, sipping coffee: i'm an adult

nedzu like "what kind of guardian would i be if i didn't teach my new son all the tunnels around ua so he can pop out wherever"

five like "hey new dad can i put stashes of supplies all around ua of weapons, money, food, and other assorted things that might be useful if one needed to fight or make a run for it" and nedzu is like "haha just put your list of what supplies you want in your go bags on my desk and i'll critique it later!"

anyway a bnha/tua crossover would be incredibly chaotic but probably very funny

#long post #far tua long #tua bnha crossover #what kind of disaster is this #there are so many characters in bnha to even consider #there is no more apocalypse so five either chills the fuck out or his paranoia ramps up to an eleven #or both!#five teleporting into nedzu's office like: hey i wrote a 52 page potential contingency plan for if x happens #and nedzu is like 'wonderful!' and gives it back to five the next day with corrections and critiques in red ink #klaus ben and ghost!nana get along like a house on fire even if she keeps telling klaus that he's too skinny #ben: klaus is an absolute fucking idiot with zero braincells #nana nodding sagely while looking at all might: ah yes i know the exact type #diego and snipe become absolute bros like ride or die because why not #luther gets positive reinforcement and goes to therapy #also thirteen listens patiently to luther infodumping about space because i think that would be nice #five is either like 'i'm only thirteen uwu' or 'i'm fifty eight' and there is nothing in between - only what is most convenient #i feel like kaminari and mina vibe with five's brand of chaos #iida doesn't know whether to murder five for being a gremlin and disobeying so many rules or to be respectful bc five is technically old #aizawa is SO TIRED y'all #aizawa thinks vanya is going to be the good hargreeves but PSYCHE all the hargreeves are equally chaotic in different ways #five calls nedzu 'dad' for the sole reason that it makes every teacher and/or hero in earshot cringe in automatic fear #klaus also calls nedzu dad because he just thinks it's funny #five and nedzu have similar coping mechanisms so they vibe but nedzu also vibes with klaus's sense of chaotic humor #five gets talked into healthier coping mechanisms by way of 'keeping his cover' or 'preventing the hc from getting their hands on you'#aka five is not allowed to drink alcohol #five HAS gone to midnight and been like 'hey teach knock me the fuck out my brain is working overdrive and i need to not be awake anymore'

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letbenfuck2021 · 4 years

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003 | Klaus Hargreeves!

ryah!!! thank you!!! ooooo man, idk tho. I think I may have some.......unpopular opinions

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character:

this may sound weird but.....I miss Klaus tbh. I think they really watered down his character in s2 because what was so interesting about Klaus was not necessarily his bombastic personality or his peculiar slightly goth, slightly fem style of dress and ornamentation (though I enjoyed those aspects of his character) it was how vulnerable he was. Klaus is a character whose personal traumas had left him gutted, led him to addiction, destitution, and isolation. Sheehan mentioned that Klaus is also entirely self-serving and selfish and it isn’t until he falls in love for the first time that he does something that isn’t for himself. I don’t think its strange or “bad” that Klaus is incredibly selfish and self-serving. If you look at his life and his history, I think most ppl would say that he’d have to be that way to survive but the idea that love, perhaps one of the most vulnerable acts that someone can engage in, is what compels him to act outside of his selfish norm.....there’s something very beautiful about that. A character who had suffered so much from his vulnerability, his openness (I see his powers in the show as a representation of an inability to close/hold boundaries, being an open sore) and to have such a beautiful, affirming experience as the result of vulnerability......idk there was something there that had a lot of resonance.....really wish they had taken it a little more seriously and explored it more rather than making everything about him into a joke ahahahaha

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

hmmmmmmm Ben, Diego, and Dave

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Klaus & Allison, the two extroverts of the family but also I think they have a lot in common in terms of how they’ve chosen to deal with their trauma and they are kind of inversions of one another

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I think the fandom largely woobifies and babies him. Klaus is a nearly 30 year old man in canon, probably old after the time jumps. While I sympathize his plight and I feel for him, I still think he is an adult who, in canon, makes his choices good and bad and that he often doesn’t consider how his actions affect others around him. He is very selfish and self-centered, he can be incredibly mean (see; how he kept Ben from the rest of his siblings). He’s fucked up. He’s just as gnarled and nasty as the rest of the Hargreeves and I think that the sibs have every right to doubt him even when we the audience knows he’s right.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

oh gosh, the same thing I wish they had done with ALL THE CHARACTERS IN S2. I wish they had given Klaus the opportunity to grow and deal with shit ON SCREEN. Like...okay Dallas is a veeeeery sparse arc in the comics so I understand the show’s need to find a way to populate it to fill a whole season but instead of weird, confusing, and ultimately useless plot shit and romances, I wish they had used the time to have all the characters really come to terms with the last season ON SCREEN. yeah yeah, you can make the argument that they did the development during the time skips but ultimately, that’s development that they DIDN’T FUCKING WRITE and that they DIDN’T FUCKING SHOW US. I actually HATE the adage of “show don’t tell” but in the case of s2, THEY SHOULD HAVE SHOWN US THE DEVELOPMENT. And instead of all the sibs basically getting better and developing while apart (which ultimately defeats the purpose of s1 which tried to posit that the sibs are better together), they should have had all the sibs be together for majority of the season with it ENDING on them getting separate, maybe by being placed in Hotel Oblivion by Reginald in the new timeline, maybe by being split up by time travel bullshit. It was TOO SOON to split the sibs up again and I felt that it showed just how poor and lazy the writing team is that their only avenue for conflict is just splitting up the sibs and resulting miscommunication.

my het ship:

hmmmmmm hard to say just cuz I don’t think he has much romantic tension with any female character on the show tbh. this may be a crack pairing but....maybe Patch/Klaus ahahahah

my fem/slash ship:

horrance, kliego, and klave

my OTP:

Ben/Klaus, goooooooooood!!!!! I wish they had developed that relationship more. Like....especially if they had expanded how Klaus could use ghosts for information? If, instead of having the sublimation of his power just be more physical fighting, that it would be having familiars who could travel from him and enter into places and situations and gather vital information???? like Ben being Klaus’ familiar is........very good for me ahahahah

my OT3:

ben/klaus/diego there’s not a lot i liked from s2 but that tender hug that diego and ben shared is definitely one of them

my cross over ship:

uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh Klaus/Thomas from Odd Thomas ahahahahaha!!!!!

my kink:

mean!Klaus. I wish they would let him be cattier ahahahah

a head cannon fact:

he’s an excellent driver but pretends not to be for the drama of it all

my gender bend:

hmmmmmm I think it Klaus would largely remain the same ahahahahah!!!! but if I were the choose and actress to play a genderbent!Klaus maybe someone like Krysten Ritter??

#klaus hargreeves #tua #tua salt #long post #text post #ask meme

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jjdoggies-fanfics · 4 years

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What do you think of Taylor Swift’s “Cardigan” song for Viego?

I hadn’t listened to any of Taylor’s new music for the past two albums. But this song definitely has some Viego vibes to it. I’m not the biggest Taylor Swift fan, but this song definitely got added to my music library. And after watching season 2 I need my idiots to be happy, kind of, together.

TBH: I didn’t know if you wanted me to write something or just my thoughts so, I did both. Enjoy!

~~~~~~

Vanya and Klaus were at the bar when it happened. When she saw it. Diego, who she thought was her boyfriend, was with another girl. And from the exchange of kisses between the two, they were more than ‘just friends’.

And as much as Vanya wanted to storm over to him and demand to know what was going on between Diego and this girl, Klaus pulled her away, out of the bar, and back to her house. Where she’d cried nearly endlessly for almost two days, Klaus barely being able to provide her any comfort, seeing as usually she was the one comforting him after he got his heartbroken after his last boyfriend. Thankfully him and Dave was the happiest, and most stable, he’d been in years.

After a while, Vanya, thankfully, cried herself to sleep on the couch. Klaus draped a blanket over her sleeping form, before groggily stumbling into her kitchen to fix himself a cup of coffee. It had been a really long two days. Just as he poured himself a full mug of coffee, there was knocking at Vanya’s backdoor, odd.

Klaus pulled back the little curtain Vanya had over the window, seeing a guy dressed in a lot of black, his face adorned with little scars from various fights, Diego. Cracking the door open, the cool morning air rushing in as Klaus hissed to him, “You need to leave.”

“What?” Diego asked, looking confused and hurt, “Why?”

“You know what you did asshole. She saw you with that girl at Carmichael’s.” Oh, fuck. “She doesn’t want to see you.” Klaus hissed, sneaking a look back to Vanya, still sleeping on the couch on disturbed.

However, when Klaus turned away from Diego, he used the opportunity to push the door open further and let himself into the house. Klaus tried to push Diego back out of the house, to no avail, Diego was a hell of a lot stronger than Klaus could ever dream to be.

“Who the hell are you?” Diego asked, looking Klaus up and down, wondering what the hell Vanya saw in this twig.

“I’m Klaus,” Klaus responded, nervously sticking his hand out, “Vanya’s very taken and gay cousin.” Oh, that makes sense. Fuck. “Come here.” Klaus said, pulling Diego out to the back porch, quietly closing the door behind them. “From how much Vanya has gushed about you to me, you don’t sound like the type of guy who’d cheat on his girlfriend. Care to explain yourself?”

Diego explained how he’d seen Vanya and Klaus together, and thought they were together. Going off of that, without saying anything or asking Vanya what was going on, while he was at Carmichael’s he found the girl, Eudora, and made out with her, that’s all. But when he saw Klaus and Vanya leaving the bar in a hurry, Vanya looking extremely upset, he stopped and followed them out. He debated calling Vanya or stopping by earlier, but decided to give her some space, and then when she didn’t call him or anything for two days, he knew there was something wrong and came over to find out what was the problem.

After he’d mentioned it, Klaus did remember Vanya’s phone ringing, her cell and the home phone, a few times over the past few days. But she’d always just ignored it so Klaus hadn’t thought anything of it.

Behind the two, the door creaked open and a bleary-eyed Vanya, blanket still wrapped around her shoulders, on the other side. Taking a cautious step onto the equally creaky wood, she asked Diego, “What are you doing here?”, leveling a very tired glare at him.

“I came over to see what was wrong.” Diego explained, Klaus nodding behind him to Vanya, “We hadn’t talked in a few days and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Vanya scoffed, rolling her eyes, and retorted, “That’s rich coming from you. Go to hell Diego.”

She turned to go back into the house as Diego grabbed her wrist, stopping her. “Let me explain.” Diego pleaded.

Vanya wrenched her wrist from his grasp, moving once more to go back inside, “Vanya, please.” Klaus said, causing Vanya to freeze in her step, “Just hear him out.”

Reluctantly, Vanya turned around again, keeping her face solemn, motioning for Diego to explain. “I, the thing, the thing with Eudora,” Diego grimaced at the wince Vanya made at Eudora’s name, “it, it means nothing to me. She means nothing to me. It was just, I was, hurt, I thought, I didn’t know Klaus was your cousin, and I was being stupid.” Once again, Diego pulled Vanya’s wrists, wrapping his hands around them, “I never wanted to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. Please, please forgive me. I can’t lose you.” When his honesty didn’t seem to be working, Diego added, “I love you.”

Vanya’s eyes snapped to meet his. “Really?” she asked, surprise evident on her face and fear present in her voice, and when Diego nodded, Vanya crashed into him, nearly crying again, but happy crying this time, as she told him, “I love you too.”

Diego leaned down slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of Vanya’s head, followed by her forehead, then her lips as Vanya looked up at him. “Aww, aren’t you two cute?” Klaus cooed, Diego and Vanya had kind of forgotten he was there, “Now if you don’t mind, my feet are getting numb and my coffee is getting cold in there so.” Klaus walked around the two, definitely not nudging Vanya closer to Diego as he passed, escaping back into the house, and debatably more importantly his coffee.

Vanya and Diego stayed on the back porch together for a little longer, holding each other, just listening to the world around them as it woke up. “Do you wanna come inside?” Vanya asked Diego, barely pulling away from him, just enough to see his face. Diego nodded, an adoring smile on his face, as Vanya lead him into her house.

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irnwithdiego · 4 years

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omg pls rant abt Lila i also have.. a lot of issues with her and how ppl have reacted to her character

okay well first and foremost: i Love ritu. i absolutely adore that woman and im so happy that she's finally getting the attention she deserves, i support her and david dating too - so my opinions are genuinely not based on anything to do with that. just bc ive been accused of that by people who didnt realize ive been rooting for them since last summer lol.

anyway.

my biggest issue with lila is the fact that she was introduced as a chameleon. as brilliant or clinically insane as the situation requires. unpredictable. to me that sounded so incredibly interesting, because right from the bat i knew she was gonna turn out as the bad guy, or at least one of them and i was HOPING she would. i was really hoping she would be going batshit crazy on them, doing her thing as the evil person, then when s2 came along she got revealed to be the handler's daughter which to me made it even more exciting? because thats potential to get REAL crazy.

in the end, what we got was half-assed and incoherent and neither here nor there. we didnt get a chameleon, we got a mirror. lol. i expected her to be able to adjust to situations and people perfectly, charming them maybe, yknow. chameleon stuff. (would've loved it if she for example looked different to everyone and nobody actually knows what she looks like, alas. that would've been too creative i suppose)

and yeah her humor was "twisted" in a way, and she was charming... in a way. not to me, not to five, and i think the fact diego fell for her is really just him latching onto another problem/person/situation he needs to fix. the guy with the biggest trust issues on the show, openly telling her he prefers to know what people are even lying about, trying to cut her off multiple times the entire season, getting kidnapped and drugged by her to be shown off and introduced as "boyfriend" (??), turns out to be in love with her. okay. makes little to no sense, but i suppose you could partially blame it on her ability to be unpredictable and a chameleon (i still dont even know what they meant by that, where is the logic in calling her that-)

her undressing diego down to his underwear was creepy as hell to me, she knew exactly he’s only been stabbed and there was nothing else. she patches him up and climbs in bed with him as if they’ve known each other for ages. diego seems a bit "eh" at first, then just decides to fuck her. alright. a) diego, the guy with the biggest trust issues- b) i could see it as a letting off some steam thing tbh, just destressing or whatever. but he still had the stab wound that he allegedly almost bled out/died from so..... lmao. makes sense. in the end it wasnt just a quickie, it was ~love~ and that just doesnt sit right with me.

she lies to him from the get go, she manipulates his every move, she's invasive as all hell, she cant take a no in most situations, but sure. its love. sounds healthy.

the whole clusterfuck about their weird asylum relationship got completely drowned out by her "trying not to fall for diego", which essentially just made her character seem to be all over the place. she seems unfinished, like they disnt really know what to do with her, started off strong and then went off track and couldnt get back on. it seems like they changed a lot of things last minute and i cant make sense of her actions, especially not the way they wanted me to. its clear they were trying to keep up this guessing game about whether she would turn good for diego and his siblings or betray him. it was executed so poorly though, it just feels incredibly incoherent. she contradicts herself more often than not, and fine, lets say they wanted her to look confused about her situation and everything - it was still executed so poorly idk how else to put it. she was neither crazy enough for me to believe the character sheet we got beforehand, nor was she innocent enough for me to believe she really wanted to join them.

she literally tries to KILL all of diego's siblings and him in the end. she only seems to be considering joining them very last minute, like minutes before diego's little speech she was about to erase the entire hargreeves family. and she looked like she was having fun doing it too lmao. just doesnt sit right with me at all. diego proclaiming he loves her after all THAT doesnt sit right with me at all. like what, he tries to get away from her pretty much all season but decides she's worth it only after she tries to kill his family? diego??? im- come on.

i appreciate the thought of a redemption arc, but she wasnt nearly evil enough for me to even believe her original intentions, so i dont really know what her redemption would even look like.

and last but not least - the chameleon vs mirror thing. :) bro. that annoyed me so much. she essentially just goes and god-modes the entire season within 10 minutes, to say it with the words of a friend. like what was the point of that? the logic? how did they even know she could do that, if they allegedly dont know where the other kids with powers are? who did she train her powers on? plus, this is the oldest trope in the history of sci-fi/fantasy stories. someone turns out to be able to copy/mirror back the great powers of somebody else and overthrows everything. yawn.

what makes the others special if she can do whatever they do. maybe its just me being nit-picky at this point but i really dont want it. its so boring.

i had such high hopes for lila, i seriously was so excited to see her and it Still feels like such a let down just thinking of how s2 turned out. dont even get me started on all of them NEEDING a love interest apparently. because you cant be happy without one. thanks, but no thanks.

"s2 is gonna focus on the siblings' relationships!!" my ass. lila and diego's ~bond~ was as unnecessary and illogical as klaus' powers suddenly tenfolding and his paranoia of the spirits just lowkey vanishing with no real explanation other than "he's sober now ❤"

so yeah, all in all lila just seems the least fleshed out, randomnly thrown together and a Bit forced on the romantic part. i would've preferred her just being the big bad and going mental in the end. that would've been an interesting character choice for her.

from the bottom of my heart: why not.

sorry if this is too long, i couldnt help digressing here and there.

#also sissy and vanya having to cheat on her abusive husband in order to be together #why cant we have lgbt rep without issues #just give me one unproblematic rxship i Dare you at this point #tua negativity #thanks for the prompt tho #it felt really good to just get it off my chest in one bit tbh

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