#but also im gonna allow myself to be Hot Shit and just post whatever the fuck i want ndbcdhbh

[delightfuldevin]

Bowsario AU fic (No Title cause I’m bad at titles)

Summary: With super powered villains creeping up all over the world, it was obvious for Mario that he wanted to get into the hero business. Most other heroes had powers of their own, too, but Mario would just have to make do with the temporary magic granted to him by the mysterious plants he tended to. What happens, then, when his face strikes fear into not just the villains he fights, but even the civilians he tries to save? How is he meant to be a hero when he's associated with one of the most powerful villains in the world?

Silly little au thing that popped into my brain as soon as I saw this prompt and I had to write it. I didn’t know how to end it so apologies that it just sorta cuts off. Also I hc Mario to be semi verbal, so he doesn’t speak in this. It’s hard to write characters who don’t speak (as someone who talks a lot lmao) so bear with me here,,

***

Mario is easily the most well known hero around here. Sure, he had a rough start being the new guy in a big city, but once he proved his capabilities, everyone would come to him for just about anything. He's an inspiration to all, having graduated top of his class from one of the most prestigious hero academies without any natural born powers at all. Turns out, all you really need is a green thumb and the right kind of seeds. Those "fire flowers" of his can pack just as much a punch as any pyromancer.

"Ready to head out, bro?" Mario smiles as his younger twin throws his arm over his shoulder. Luigi had attended the academy with him and, against all odds, graduated with a score just under his. He always knew his brother could make it with him, even if no one else did, even Luigi himself. The guy doesn't know his own strength, but Mario does. After living in the city for the first few years after graduating, the brothers decided to move back to their hometown. If they were going to make a difference in the world, they wanted to start in the place they call home.

The plane ride was uneventful, and soon enough they're in the airport of their hometown. "Say, you think Peach will remember us?" Luigi asks absently as they wait for their luggage on the conveyor belt. Why wouldn't she, Mario thinks to himself. It's only been six years since they saw her last. If she did forget them, he'd definitely give her an earful about it. Suddenly, they hear a scream.

"Help! Somebody stop him!" A masked Beanish man runs through the airport, carrying a bag as a Toad woman chases after him. She was the one who had screamed before, still calling after him. Easily coming to a conclusion, Mario jumps into action, stopping the Beanish man in his tracks.

"Out of the way, red! No one stops Popple the Shadow Thief!" This guy seems weak enough, so Mario readies to fight him with his bare hands, leaving the fire flowers in his pocket. "Oh, you wanna tussle, ey? Fine then! I'll pummel ya and take whatever ya got, too!" This Popple fellow seemed not to have gotten a good look at Mario's face before, because once he does, he suddenly starts trembling, shrinking back from him.

"W-wait a second, you're–!" He pauses and puts the Toad woman's bag down on the floor slowly, hands up as if trying to appease a wild beast. "S-sorry about this, truly! I-I didn't mean none of what I said to ya, I swear!" And just like that, Popple runs off at an even higher speed than when he was trying to escape the woman in the first place.

Eyebrow raised in confusion, Mario stoops down to pick up the bag and walks it over to its owner. "Oh, thank you so much, kind sir." Mario smiles as she cranes her neck up to look at him, her short stature preventing her from seeing him properly. But the second she sees his face, her eyes widen enough to pop out of her skull and she lets out a terrified squeak, hurrying away from him. Okay, what happened with that thief was odd, but this was even stranger. He had just helped her; why did she look so afraid of him? He turns over to Luigi, who had dragged both their bags over to him.

"Well, that was weird... right?" Still dumbfounded, Mario grabs his bag from Luigi and the two of them make their way out of the airport.

The rest of their short walk to their old home went quite the same as their time in the airport. The second anyone got a good look at Mario's face, they'd run away in terror. "Maybe you'd make a better villain instead, bro!" Luigi jokes as he unlocks the door to their house. Mario knows he means it lightheartedly, but it does get to him a bit. Why was he garnering such a reaction from everyone around him? He hadn't been around for six years, and he was only the kindest and sweetest to everyone before he left. Maybe some bad rumors spread about him while he was gone... But how did that happen?

"Hey, cheer up!" Luigi exclaims, noticing how his "joke" hadn't gone over so well. "Let's go see Peach! She doesn't know we're back in town yet!" He pats Mario's back, and the older twin forces a smile. For a brief moment, he worries that Peach will react the same way as everyone else, but he knows that wouldn't happen. She knows him better than anyone...

One of the upsides about having a best friend who's royalty is that you don't have to put in any effort to remember where they live. After all, how could you miss the giant marble castle standing proudly at the edge of the town? Mario ignores the stares he gets as he and Luigi walk through town and to the front of the castle. The Toad guards in front smile as Luigi approaches, but, like everyone else, freeze up when they see Mario.

"H-halt! Y-you... you can't come in here...!" The guards try to put on brave faces, speaking as firmly as possible, but their trembling voices aren't very convincing.

"Hey hey, easy, pals," Luigi tries, hands out to show he's not a threat. "We're friends of the Princess. Tell her Mario and Luigi are here to see her. She'll vouch for us!"

"Uh, okay, wait here then," the green Toad says, eying the brothers suspiciously.

"No, I wanna go tell her!" the purple Toad whisper-shouts.

"I'll tell her! You stay here!"

"I don't wanna stay here with him!"

"Shut up and deal with it! I'll be right back!" Before the purple Toad could retaliate again, the green one goes into the castle. Mario keeps up a smile as they wait, hoping to calm the purple Toad's nerves, but it doesn't seem to be working. Though it feels like hours pass, it must've only been a few minutes when they hear the Princess's voice on the other side of the door.

"I understand your concern, Toadsworth, but if a villain is polite enough to wait at my door before attacking, I'm willing to hear them out." The door swings open as the Princess, the green Toad guard, and a brown elderly Toad come out, though the elderly Toad immediately slides behind the Princess's dress in fear. "Maybe it's not as bad as it–" She pauses as her eyes fall upon the twins. Again, Mario fears the worst. But then, her mouth spreads into a wide grin, turning up her eyelids and making her cheeks plump.

"Oh my gosh!" She throws her arms around them, pulling them both against her. "Why didn't you tell me you guys were coming back today?! I would've planned something!"

"Nice to see you, too, Princess," Luigi laughs, returning her hug. With all the weird reactions he's been getting lately, Mario is taken aback to actually be receiving a warm welcome. But he smiles sincerely, laughing too, as he squeezes her as tight as he can. Peach loosens her grip on them, turning to look at the green Toad guard.

"Now why would you tell me there was a villain at my door when it was my two best friends I haven't seen in years?" Mario's smile begins to fall hearing that.

"W-well, y'know... On account of his association with... him..." Association with who? So he was right about there being some rumor about him, but what was it and why?

“Uh, Princess… What’s going on?” Luigi asks. “Ever since we arrived, everyone’s been giving Mario weird looks, and what’s this about him being a villain?!”

“News probably hasn’t spread to the city you were studying in. It did happen somewhat recently…” Peach sighs, bringing her hand to her forehead. Then, she smiles brightly, going to stand between the brothers and wrapping her arms in theirs. “Let’s go inside and have a seat. I’ll explain everything. Toadsworth!” The old brown Toad flinches upon hearing his name, still uneasy in Mario’s presence. “Be a dear and prepare us some tea, will you?”

“C-certainly, Your Highness!” The old Toad wastes no time, spinning on his heels and hurrying back inside, eager to make himself scarce. Meanwhile, Peach leads her best friends to the sitting room, which is the first room on the right when entering through the castle’s front door. They sit on the plush dark pink couches, remaining in antsy silence as Toadsworth returns with the requested tea.

Toadsworth’s hands tremble as he pours the tea. Luigi smiles and thanks him and he nods in response, but at Mario’s smile, the old Toad flinches again, nearly dropping the teapot. “Oh, for Stars’ sake, Toadsworth! Get over it!” Peach finally exclaims. “It’s Mario! You know him! He’s been my best friend since we were infants!“

“Y-yes, of course… F-forgive me.” Peach sighs again in exasperation, taking a sip of her tea before continuing to the brothers.

“So, as you might’ve guessed, a lot has happened since you went away to study. Goodness, where to start… Do you guys remember Bowser?” Mario and Luigi exchange unsure glances. “He went to high school with us? He was an exchange student from the Koopa Kingdom.” Again, the brothers exchange looks, before a metaphorical lightbulb goes off in Luigi’s head.

“Oh, right yeah! Remember, bro? He used to always pick fights with you?” That’s when Mario’s memory comes back as well. Bowser, huh… He was a strange guy. From the minute he arrived at the school, he seemed like trouble. He’d always try to insert himself into any situation, like he just had to be the center of attention. He’d even tried to get Peach to go out with him, despite knowing every guy in school had their eyes on her and would most definitely fight him over her.

But by far the strangest thing about him was the fact that he’d keep trying to antagonize Mario somehow. At first, Mario thought it was because he was friends with Peach, but Bowser never targeted Luigi and even after Peach made it clear she wasn’t going to date anyone, he would still try to bother him. At first, he’d really try to pick fist fights with him, but then it started devolving into silly little pranks that an elementary kid would do, like putting a jack-in-the-box in his locker or filling his shoes with candy during gym.

“Yeah, well, after graduation, right after you guys left, he returned to the Koopa Kingdom,” Peach continues. “I don’t know how it happened, but somehow he overthrew the Koopa King and he’s been ruling the kingdom ever since.”

“Uh… good for him…?” Luigi says with a shrug, confusion in his tone and on his face. “But what does he have to do with Mario?”

“He’s also become the most dangerous villain on the continent, and his power is only growing stronger. And after he ascended to the throne, he announced publicly that he’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt Mario.” Both brothers nearly choke on their tea. No wonder everyone thinks Mario is associated with a villain, but why would Bowser go to such lengths? It’s not like they were even friends. If anything, it seemed like Bowser couldn’t even stand being in the same room as him. “Well, he did have that little crush on you in high school, but I didn’t think he’d go this far…” Mario barely registers what the Princess just said, but when he does, his eyes go wide and he freezes up.

It’s obvious that Mario would be surprised about someone he went to school with becoming a powerful villain, but Peach soon realizes that that’s not the only thing that surprises him. “…I take it from your reaction that you didn’t know about his crush, huh?” Mario can only shake his head slowly, eyes still wide. “You knew, right, Luigi?”

“I mean, I didn’t guess it was a crush per se, but I could definitely tell he had some kinda complex goin’ on with my bro.”

“I would’ve said something, but I thought you already knew and were purposefully ignoring all the weird stuff he kept doing to get your attention. In any case, that’s the long and short of it. It didn’t take long for everyone’s perception of you to change. Even if it was clear you were aspiring to become a hero, the second Bowser announced any kind of relation to you, everyone became scared of your return.”

Once he recovers from the shock, Mario’s expression changes to that of determination. He’s going to become a hero no matter what, and his first step from here must be confronting Bowser. He hasn’t seen him in years and he wouldn’t even know what to say, but he has to go clear all of this up. He can’t become a hero if everyone is afraid of even being in his presence. So, he stands up and places his tea cup down on the table. There’s no time to lose. It’s off to the Koopa Kingdom with him.

[softness-and-shattering]

About the Mean Girls musical movie

I know Ive had conversations before about the cultural context stuff, that it seems like the message was not as effective as the first movie when the stuff its talking about, how girls are wrong whatever they do and everything is up for criticism and filming, and you have to pretend to be sweet and kind fairy princesses instead of being allowed to be human. And Id have to go back and find those posts to see what I do and dont agree with now. Because I just saw the movie. And honestly, I liked it. A lot of the visuals were really fun and interesting, which I think is impressive in a movie that mostly takes place inside of a high school. Regina more than once looks like she's in a music video, and that works because shes so hyped, its like she lives in a reality where not only do people break into song, but she's always in a music video. She really sells the character, self-assured and in charge and perfectly manipulative, and even when she's being vulnerable you're like, but is this another deception? She's more villainous in this version, and by the end maybe more human as well. (also the costuming is phenomenal, that Halloween angel dress?? The entire Halloween Someone Get Hurts sequence might be my favourite. )

Also Renee Rapp, who plays Regina, is just incredibly hot. She also played Regina on Broadway so it makes sense she has the character down. Thats not film critique thats my personal admiration. Its almost a little silly with the "oh no Regina is gaining weight she cant fit her clothes" because she looks amazing. [Edit: She's also obviously - I was gonna say she seems older than the other "teens" but actually she's 24, so Im having a moment of feeling old. And she's actually the same age as Auli'i Cravalho who is a lot younger in my mind because holy shit Moana came out EIGHT years ago?? Angourie Rice/Cady is 23, Jaquel Spivy/Damian is 26, Avantika/Karen is 19, thats more the age I thought they were but not the cast seems to be mostly 23-26. Its so weird when times moves the same for people while your image of them in your head stays the same. So Rapp isn't older she's just a bit bigger (neutral/positive). And she's been playing the role for a long time. And Im allowed to find her hot because she's a goddamn adult and so am I. This paragraph is not critique it is me blogging on my blog. Now Im annoyed at myself for Caveats of Fear but Im gonna stop dwelling on that now.]

On that note, though I originally liked the musical quite a lot, the significant fatphobia in it soured it for me. And Im happy to say in the musical movie, they changed or omitted those lines. I was waiting to cringe and they just sang something else. So that was great. I think the only fat character was Damian (why does that suddenly look like a vampire name?) - Jaquel Spivy - and he seemed comfy and cool, no self deprecating fat jokes or anything. Generally the lines/jokes that were uncomfortable or a bit bigoted have been changed. Though there isnt any disability rep, and theres a random character the burn book claims puts alcohol in her inhaler, like a 3 second joke.

And the big thing is that a lot of the meanness is shown in montages of vertical video and comments - no-brand tiktok obviously - and I think thats pretty realistic, and also in the original theme of not being mean to peoples faces but talking all kinds of shit behind their backs. And I think the montage format is effective in mimicking that endless scroll eyes glazing over stuck in the doom scroll/stuck in the spectacle. The music was good. I really liked how they overlaid the Spring Fling/thematic music with the math competition. If anything, Cady is not as good of a character, her Plastic switch is basically overnight, the scene with Aaron at the party is still kinda of awkward, she doesnt get as much room to breathe, while almost everyone else comes off really well. Heck even the candy cane/glen coco guy did well, I was actually suprised at how differently and yet excellently the actors acted their lines, compared both to the previous movie and the musical. Auli'i is fantastic, scary Janis is *scary*. And I simultaneously want to be her best friend. (It certainly helps that her art is augmented with embroidery and she's carrying embroidery hoops in multiple scenes. Fiber arts my loves.)

When I first saw a trailer my thoughts were "ugh we dont need another movie of this," but I think Ive changed my mind. Its similar enough and different enough that for me its a good adaptation. Also - I almost forgot to say - Janis gets a girlfriend for Spring Fling. Its not a plot point, we're just montaging getting ready and Janis goes to pick her up (in the lavender suit), and Damian is taking photos with two other sapphic couples. And he gets a crush/admirer who again, is just there to be there and doesnt interfere with the main story. I might change my mind again once its had time to settle in my thoughts, but initial impression is that its a fun movie I would watch again. Maybe we want the social commentary to be more incisive than it is, and in the end it is entertainment that needs to not be too boring to hold peoples shortening attention spans. (also neutral). Maybe thats wishing for it to be a movie that its not trying to be, and thats always a recipe for disappointment and also not great or fair analysis. What a fantastic line to end on*.

[fandom-blackhole]

Sinful Sunday THOTS

So I'm starting this so this more so for myself. I was thinking, I take everyone else THOTS, but why not share my own? So on Sundays from now on I am going to post a list of THOTS I had during the week that I wrote down!

This weeks in shorter because I just got the idea last night and wrote them all up delirious with no sleep, so sorry for mistakes, but other words enjoy!

Thank you @fuckyeahbeskar for talking about two of these THOTS with me, and for telling me I should post one of them because that is what gave me this idea 😘

Sinful Sunday Masterlist

Pairings: Paz Vizsla x Reader, Priest!Din Djarin x Reader, Ezra (Prospect) x Reader

Paz Vizsla x Reader

So I love sweet Paz and all but what about enemies to lovers Paz?

I've thought about this one for awhile...

So you are part of the mandalorian tribe that Paz and the remains of his tribe had joined. Immediately you and Paz started fighting, you weren't sure why, but just something about him rubbed at you. It wasn't uncommon for others to walk into a room and find you and Paz butting heads, literally. The two of you had been separated multiple times by the leader of your tribe and the armorer, just to keep you both from killing eachother. Eventually you decide to just start avoiding him and ignoring his presence, tired of fighting over stupid things. Unfortunately that lasted only a month before your leader called you into the armory for an assignment. He told you that you were being sent on a supply mission along with one of the warriors from the other tribe. You nodded and didn't think much of it until you were preparing the ship and Paz came strutting towards you. All you could do was clench your teeth and cross your arms asking him why he was here. He had only stared at you for a minute before saying, "I've been assigned to the supply mission." After that he finished loading the ship before heading to set up the controls. You just growled and sent a comm to your leader saying that if you survived this mission you were going to kill him.

The supply mission was to take two weeks, one to the planet where the supplies were stored and another to get back. The first two days the two of you stayed away from eachother. But on the third day the two of you started butting heads and arguing. On the 5th day Paz had managed to corner of of the ship and pin you to the wall, and in that moment you hated how flushed and hot you felt. You had to end up taking a cold shower to calm down.

When the two of you finally reached the planet and loaded the ship with supplies you were glad to be able to take some time away from Paz as you wandered the market while he was off bartering with the merchants. You made sure to take your time before walking back to the ship to find Paz FUMING. You just shrugged past him and onto the ship, totally ignoring his angry words about you being late and being an idiot and so on.

The first day back in hyperspace was spent avoiding eachother again, but that night you were over come with the need to touch yourself. You hated it but as you played with your clit all you could imagine was Paz’s body pressed against yours, pinning you in place, how he would feel slamming into you. Much to your frustration you came with a long groan of his name.

The next day found you and Paz fighting again unsurprisingly, but this time was different. This time, Paz once again pinned you to the wall before leaning down and whispering in your ear, "You know the walls of this ship are thin, and I could hear every moan last night. Was I mistaken when I heard my name as well?"

Could you only reply breathlessly as he moved his thigh between you legs, "You fucking wish Vizsla." And he leaned down close, bumping his helmet with your own as he pushed his thigh against you and whispering something quietly under his breath before saying, "Mmm maybe you need to be punished for lying." He immediately spanked you, and you couldn't help but moan and you could feel his smirk as he did it again. Before grabbing your ass roughing and saying that you were going to be sore tomorrow, he was going to make sure of it. Paz took no time at all before pulling you pants down and turning you around to face the wall. You angrily started to protest, but was immediately shut up with another smack to the ass, with which you could only moan brokenly. You heard Paz chuckle,, before spanking you again, before rubbing a hand over your flesh. Then he harshly pulled you back into his chest and kicked you feet apart before immediately pressing his glove covered finger tips to you clit. Paz then told you, "Im gonna make this pussy weep for me until you are begging for my cock." And he kept his promise. Paz brought you orgasm after orgasm and by your fifth you were already starting to beg him. He only growled in your ear and slapped you pussy saying, "You can do better than that. Beg. Me." You tried again, but it also result in another harsh slap. This time you let out a broken sob and whined out, "Please, fucking please pleasepleaseplease, Paz give your cock... I need to feel it inside of me so badly. Fuck me pleaaaassseeee."

And before you could even take a breath you felt him slam his enormous cock into you. You could only whimper at the stretch and curse Paz. He only chuckled and wait a few seconds, detailing everything he wanted to do to you before he started pounding into you so hard you could barely stand or think straight. Paz didn't let up and railed you through several more orgasms before he came deep inside you himself.  Afterwards he carried you to bed and mockingly said, "Goodnight cyare."

The rest of the trip was spent with petty fights ending in fucking eachother senseless and by the time you arrived at the covert you found yourself somewhat disappointed that this was all going to end. But you were shocked when Paz turned to you after he had landed the ship and asked, "Marry me?"

You only smirked and said back, "Give me a good reason too, di'kut."

You heard him growl, before he pulled you onto his lap and said, "So I can look you in the eye as I fuck the life out of you, so I can finally shut that mouth of yours up with my cock down your thoat."

Let's just say that the other mandalorians avoided the ship for a few hours as they heard moans coming quite loudly from inside. The Armorer and the tribe leader both nodded to eachother and let out a sigh glad that they wouldn't have to deal with your shit anymore.

(In this THOT i also imagine Paz being absolutely infatuated with you from day one, and those feelings that rub at you is just intense attraction that you don't want to acknowledge. The Armorer and tribe leader set the trip up to try and push the two of you together so they didn't have to deal with the sexual tension so thick it could kill anyone that walked past. In the end the are fucking relieved it worked, though a little too well lmao)

Din Djarin x Reader

So Priest!Din thot....

After Sunday service one week you ask him innocently if he would like help cleaning up the chapel. Din smiles and says yes thank you. You wave your family to go ahead and wait for Din to finish speaking and saying goodbye to the parishioners. When the last woman leaves, little old Mrs. Taylor, he waves you inside. The two of you work in relative silence as you put away all the hymnals and bibles, the only noise being your movements and your own humming of one of the hymns from that day's service. By the time the two of you made it to the front of the chapel, you turn to eachother and pause looking at eachother before you both lean forward for a sweet kiss. When you pull back you smile at Din, before biting your lip and saying, "That was a beautiful service today, Father Djarin."

You could see Din's eyes dark the second you uttered his title. The look he gave you sent a warm shiver down to your lower belly. Then he reached forward and pulled you close whispering, "Only the best for my flock, my child." You couldn't suppress the small gasp that passed your lips as his hand moved to your hip backing you up until you felt your back hit the altar. You were shocked even more when Din suddenly lifted you and put you on the altar and immediately rolled you dress up your thighs whispering about how much he has been aching to feel you again. Din stops suddenly when he finds you missing your panties and he moans before grunting out, "A sinful temptress who just continues to seduce me with her wicked ways..." Then he's crashing his mouth on yours as he works to open his belt and pull out his aching cock. You can only meal against him he slowly slips into you. He stays fully seated inside of you for a minute, breathing harshly into you neck before pulling back to meet your eyes.

"You have no idea what you do to me, sweet girl. You.....you have consumed my every waking moment, and I cannot stop these sinful thoughts of you." Then he dives back down into the kiss as he starts pounding into you, muffins your moans and whines with his mouth. The two of you fuck passionately and full of forbidden love as you desecrate the altar of the most holy. Din praises and worships you and your body as if you were the diety he pledged his life too. When the two of you were thrown into the ultimate pleasure you met eachother's gaze and spoke the words you both wish you could say aloud.

Ezra (Prospect) x Reader

My Ezra THOT of the week....

Just a preface, Ezra has a prosthetic arm in this THOT...

You were a rather skilled prospector. You had almost a sixth sense for good dig spots and that made you raise through the ranks rather quickly. Even though you were valuable, you still were never able to hit a dig that allowed you to be payed enough to finally settle down. You were hoping this dig would be different. You'd been hired by a bigger company, and was going down to the planet with a crew of roughly 15. The way your employers had explained it, you all would be split into groups of three and whatever your group mined would be split into four, parts for the three of you, and one for the company. It was the best deal you had gotten, ever. The day you were to go to the moon you climbed aboard the shuttle and took a seat next to a man with a charming smile and a unique blonde patch. While waiting to leave the two of you became acquainted and learned his name was Ezra.

As it turned out, Ezra and you had been paired up in a group, along with a woman named Shelby. You also learned that Ezra was very much a talker and loved to please. Shelby got annoyed with his constant chatter, but you found yourself smiling softly and occasionally responding to his poetic words with sentences as graceful as you could make them. Loving the smile Ezra would shoot your way when you did. You also came to realize that Ezra would give nicknames to those that he latched onto and you learned quickly that he had dubbed you to be sunflower. At night the two of you would speak, sharing stories until Shelby would forcefully shut the lantern light out on you both telling you to shut the fuck up.

As grumpy as Shelby was, you were still hurt when one afternoon she disappeared for hours. Worried Ezra had gone to look for her only to come back with a grim look and a shake of the head. The two of you didn't speak the rest of the night, paranoid and not wanting to leave the other alone for a second. A few days later found you waking from sleep in a could sweat and with Ezra holding your face softly whispering reassuring words. That was the first night the two of you shared a cot, and after that it became a nightly occurrence. Eventually two of your three and a half month stay had passed and you found yourself looking up as Ezra walked into the shared tent after his shower in the communal space, he was shirtless and you watched as water dripped from his hair down his chest. He had immediately met your gaze and you blushed and turned back to your book quickly. You were shocked when you ft a finger trace you cheek, not having heard him approach. Then he spoke up and said, "Sunflower, I want you to promise me that if I cross a line, you will tell me. I in no way want to make you uncomfortable." You had only looked up at him confused. He responded by gently taking your book and setting it aside, before turning back to you and leaning in slowly, giving you plenty of time to pull away, before he softly brushed his lips against your own. Whwn you didn't pull away, Ezra dived in and pushed the kiss further. Soon you found yourself sitting in Ezra’s lap, stipped of everything but your under clothes, and makeout passionately with the man who has haunted your thoughts since you heard his voice. You instinctively started grinding against Ezra as you started to feel a pressure in you belly, that resulted in him groaning and grabbing your waist before pulling back slightly and looking you in the eye. He traced your skin for a second, causing goosebumps to erupt everywhere before he whispered, "May I ask a favor, my bright sunflower," you only nodded in response before he rushed out quickly and not as poetic as you are sure he would have liked, "Sunflower, please, for the love of Kevva, climb over me and place those sweet lips above mine." You sat there confused for a second before it clicked and you shyly asked him, "You want me to sit on your face?" You say his eyes dilated as he nodded shakily and whispered out a singular, please. You could only nod and he gave you the prettiest smile as he flopped back onto the bed before just completely rippling you panties off of you. You could only whine as he pulled your hips up. Ezra made sure you were making eye contact with him when he picked a broad striped along you slit with a groan and several muttered words. Ezra repeated that a few times before he stopped at your clit one pass and sucked it into his mouth. You could only choke out his name roughly before he just started eating you out like there was no tomorrow. At one point he as you were getting closer he pulled back long enough to tell you not to hold back anything, to tell you to grind against his face. You only moaned in response before he pulled you down onto his mouth and dipped into you again. It didn't take you long to start gasping out his name, and when Ezra reached up and grabbed your breasts, pinching your nipples, you felt your eyes roll back as you came all over his face as he continued his ministrations dragging out your orgasm as long as you let him. When you finally came back to your body you found yourself laying on the bed and Ezra naked next to you already dozing, having cum from his own touches while he was tasting you.

[gebtoons]

my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably) 

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk. 

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense. 

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow. 

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.  

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on. 

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on. 

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again 

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen). 

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail 

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on. 

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so. 

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying) 

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense. 

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on. 

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me). 

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go. 

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it. 

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason. 

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me. 

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?) 

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it. 

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

[letsperaltiago]

ok time to break my silence caused by the fact that i spent all day making this lol too many feels 

so.. palm springs thoughts !! and there are manyyyy so buckle up and feeel free to hit me up with either matching or contradicting thoughts or whateveer!! i would LOVE to nerd out about this movie with someone:’)

here comes thoughts and pictures!! 

we basically start off with a mr. samberg sex-scene okAYYYYY the mood is set. we love the view

nyles aka. mr. samberg is the most gorgeous man alive and it was a true pleasure to admire him for 90 minutes straight 

CURLS!!????! THEY ARE UNREAL. i shall dedicate an entire post to them

Cristin Milioti is perfect for her role. her acting? *chef’s kiss* I love that she’s not the stereotypical female rom-com lead.

Her chemistry with Andy? Gosh.. Can’t believe Nyles x Sarah is my new main movie-ship!! They play off of each other SO. WELL. Their characters are equally stone cold and bitter, but then again not really, and they both portray it so well!!

“You don’t ned a leg up.” *moans* “Hold my leg up!” i SCREAMED

“Don’t you kiss me.” “Don’t you tell me what to do.” hoW DARE THEY!

Ok ur basically on love already stop it

The fact that they were just gonna fuck on a blanket on top OF ROCKS?!

but then again in this movie’s already insane universe it’s prob pretty normal:)

The overall dark, existential humor?? This is what I live and breathe for on a daily basis. Basiaclly both main characters are a BIG MOOD

Nyles not giving a shit vs. Sarah severely freaking out in the beginning is an iconic dynamic

“I am the antichrist” and then the rock falling? For a hot sec I literally thought the movie was gonna take a turn with Nyles being some magical/scientific creature that’d created the timeloop or something idkkk ahhha

Nyles in the suit... ridiculous(ly hot)

The torture methods Roy uses on Nyles and the fact that he’s not mentally scarred?? How?? 

On that note I love that Nyles and Sarah keep their memories even if the day starts over. Would’ve been a completely different concept if they had to “meet each other for the first time” every day and it wouldn’t’ve allowed their relationship arc to evolve as it did 

Darla is the fucking shit 

Nyles in the baseball cap, amirite?

THE BARTENDER TALKING ABOUT HITTING A GUY WITH THE CAR SHE’S CURRENTLY GIVING NYLES A HANDJOB IN IS COMEDIC GOLD 

“You fucked Jerry Schlieffen?” “Well he fucked me.” Yes SIR. Andy Samberg’s characters are all bottoms and we’re here for it

Sarah’s tongue click and “nice try” when Nyles asks her about her sex life?? 

IDK WHY BUT SO GOD

Randy is hella annoying. That’s it. That’s the tweet.

THIS ENTIRE SCENE:

the fact that they both start waking up smiling because now at least they have each other 🥺😭🤯

uhm i love a good ship that’s like... best friends to lovers and the montage of them basically becoming besties killed me 

this outfit Y E S: 

sarah falling off the car and nyles laughing it off is relationship goals

the crashing plane I LOL’ED

okay so... big moment... the DANCING AND MATCHING OUTFITS? THEY ARE MY DREAM TEAM. Also how excited they are running away from the bar 🥺

IM POSITIVE THIS IS THE MOMENT NYLES KNOWS! LIKE HE DOESN’T ADMIT IT TO HIMSELF COMPLETELY BUT HE KNOWS 

the bomb in the cake and french pirate-skit? so fucking random but i lovee it because it’s so them

*DRUM ROLL* PERHAPS MY FAVORITE MOMENT IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: 

STORYLINE WISE AND VISUALLY A++++

the deep talks by the fire were SO well written. they were actually deep and genuine, allowing the characters to grow and opening up to us as viewers but also remained fun and witty

sarah trying to get nyles to admit he cares for her and him joking it off??? the flirtinggg

really wish we’d gotten to know more about what nyles meant with “it drifts away: just like they all do.” because it really seemed to trigger something within him. Like WHO “They”???

the dinosaurs lmao no comment but at least they got a cute cuddly moment

from the very first millisecond inside the tent you can CLEARLY tell Sarah is just dying to do something about them!!!

 the disbelief on nyles’ face when sarah says “lets just get it over with” because she’d clearly stated he didn’t want to and even though he obviously did he’s respected it and not done anything further about it oh babey

we love some good making out:’))) 

NYLES HALTING TO TAKE IN THE MOMENT EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO SCREAM INTO THE VOID 

i will die for a post-sexy timez cuddle and how sarah is trying to staying awake to be besides him is just *explosion* 

this has to be *the moment* she realises 

and they’re both sooooo fucking happy when they wake up after damn love me like that pls

THE GROOM BOOO FUCK OFF CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO REMEMBER HIS NAME CHEATING SCUM 

THIS FACE:

Baby is trying so hard and is so cute and nervous about it. SARAH LISTEN TO HIM HE LOVES YOU.

HE FELT GOOD WAKING UP BECAUSE OF YOUUUU, GIRL. DO NOT CALL IT “FUN”, SARAH 

“Going to bed maybe just got a little better” 😭😭😭😭

The entire cop scene is just pure insanity, very Lonely Island and I’m here for it even though I just want Sarah to rEALLY LISTEN TO WHAT NYLES IS TRYING TO SAY 

“Pain is real” oh babey that means SO MANY THINGS 🥺💔

“I followed you into that cave because I liked you!” like jake would say: don’t love how we got here but we’re going where i want

“pretentious sad boy” me

not shocked that they’ve hooked up before because c h e m i s t r y but don’t like how it got out :)))

why is nyles’ one sleeve shirt rolled up? im triggered

drinking pure vodka? oh babey its gonna be okay 

WE LOVE A SMART BOI WHO RECOGNIZES HIS GIRL’S PERFUME 

Sarah’s parents singing:)) i would cry too, nyles

"I love her.” “I see... That’s interesting” lmao savage

I actually really love Roy’s character. It turns out to be very humble actually and he has some insightful and lowkey poetic that lines i love. Besides that he’s hilarious. 

SO the whole time i was wondering how they’d get out of the whole “same day forever”-thing, if they were to. and I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they had such a logical way out of it: science. Not anything cheesy like “a true love’s kiss” or “you learned your lesson”. Pure logic and Sarah’s hard work to get there. Huge fan of this. 

I will never get over how good Nyles looks waking up and Sarah is xtra pretty in that scene:’) 

Nyles just wants to stay in a loop forever because it means for sure that he gets to stay with Sarah forever and I’m lowkey into it but also like lowkey LISTEN TO HER AND GO WITH HER PLAN, NYLES

“I wanna stay with you” *sniffles*

“I love you. How about that?” PRETTY FUCKING GOOD 

I love Nyles’ character development. He started off so nonchalant and cold, closed off and by this point he’s the softest, smiliest in love fool I’ve ever seen and Andy does it so good. SAMBERG HEART EYES!!

“Nothing is real in here” YES SARAH UR LOVE IS

I’m taking Sarah’s asking Nyles to believe in her and leave with her as her first “I love you” because it’s very clear that she wants to leave with him rather than without. 

just- this entire scene i ugh <3 <3 <3 <3

BREAKING. UP. WITH. MISTY ! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

glass of wine filled to the brim? sarah’s my type of gal

the speech was really beautiful and sweet without being too cheesy and kudos to cristin for really delivering it like a pro! especially her “abe, don’t fuck this up” like yes girl kill him, chop him to pieces with your eyes!!! also camila is such really pretty bride

nyles looks like a cockatoo here :

nyles taking the shot and smashing the glass into the ground got me 🤭😵😏🥵

“I’m your son” I SCREAM

GIVE THE MAN A WHITE HORSE DAMNIT

Gotta admit Sarah looks like a bomb (lol nu pun intended) ass super hero in her bridesmaid dress and C4-gettup 

The sentence ending up being total grammatical gibberish but Nyles trying so. damn. hard is the sweetest thing ever and should and will go down in rom-com history. It’s super romantic but also well-balanced by humor and I just.. so good. This is the kind of characters and relationships I love and wanna write myself 

“you’re my favorite person that i’ve ever met” 🥺🥺🥺

“i’d rather die with you than live in this world without you” WHY AM I SO SINGLE SOMEONE LOVEE ME LIKE THIS 

okay so idk but “what if we get sick of each other?” “we’re already sick of each other. it’s the best.” is so so so soft, the way nyles says it like it doesn’t matter and is honestly another key moment for me: they’ve experienced basically everything imaginable during their time in the box/loop. they’ve liked, disliked, loved, hated each other and still: he loves her. the fact that nyles knows no matter what happens it won’t stop that because it’s them?? ouch my heart. 

this chaotic mess of a pairing?MESSY BOMB BRIDESMAID AND CURLY-HAIR HAWAII SHIRT-BOI!! MY OTp

Them dissing Nyles’ mom on their way into potential death? that’s love, baby 

the fUCKING KISSSSSSS MANNNNNNNNNN!!!! SO ICONIC AND THE EXPLOSION IN THE BACKGROUND AND JUST WE DESERVE THIS THEY DESERVE THIS EVERYONE DESERVES THISSSS!!! 

NEVER OVEER THIS EVER FOREVER NEVER

Ok so I was SURE that when it faded to black that it was done and I grew super ficking frustrated because it would leave us with this “the ending is up to whatever you chose”-kinda thing kinda a la Celeste and Jesse where it just feels unresolved and I WASN’T OKAY WITH THAT. So I’m so happy we got to know that it worked and the bebes will live happuilly ever after with Nyles’ shaggy dog:’) 

Their hands on each other’s knee >>>>>

all in all 100000/10 

[akatsvmu]

ok hot take — but also because I’m genuinely curious — I’ve seen a lot of discussion about the anti - Asian racism in shadow and bone and how it was unnecessary + obvious that the writers were white, etc.

*this ended up being long so I put the rest under the cut*

before I begin I just want to say that im just putting this out here to hear what others have to say !! I’m open to whatever u have to say legit I just want to talk to others about this hahah. I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, but if I do then I apologize and if you feel like it, to let me know why exactly so I can be more aware next timee

okk so, reading what everyone else had to say after finishing the season made me question myself BIG TIMEEEE because tbh ..... I didn’t really see what the problem was as I was watching the show 😭

I didnt watch any trailers or promo vids before the show bc I didnt want to expect anything. so the first time I heard about Alina being half - shu was when she said it in the show — and TBHHH I was actually so happy (since I’m South East Asian) it was a pleasant surprise, I was like “omg I can relate to uu !! <33” kind of thing ya know.

After i watched it, I read the discussions on how they handled it and everything and I was worried bc I was still having such a hard time seeing what was so wrong about it,, I genuinely felt really bad at this point bc I was thinking like ... am I racist ?? Or am I actually contributing to racism and all that ?? soo I wanted to just share some of my thoughts here and if you actually finish reading this maybe like share some of your thoughts too ??

okok so hear we go — Alina being changed into half - shu didnt bother me at all, as I said earlier it was a nice surprise since it allowed me to relate to her more, i remember i even texted my friend bc i was so happy lmaooo (plus I thought it fit well since Jessie is actually half chinese).

About how the racism was ‘unnecessary’ since it’s a fictional world and all >> I get how they technically didn’t need to add it in — BUT... I kind of liked that they did add it ?? since it showed me that, oh you know she went through all of that, was discriminated against, etc. but was still able to do all the things she did and she didn’t let any of that stop her (I've finished the trilogy so I know how her story ends, assuming they stick to the books in later seasons lmao).

I mean tbh I even felt kinda better ? Hopeful even ?? My line of thinking was like “even the sun summoner faced some racism yet she was able to push through her journey !!” and all that ++ plus how she didn’t let it affect her — she even said, “don’t change my eyes” in that one scene which made me feel really proud for some reason.

about how they only centered the racism around Alina >> like how Jesper or Inej didn't really have to face any racism ++ and how it was all anti shu ..... again that didn’t rly bother me bc like ..... she’s kind of the main character ????? Not to say that the other characters stories don’t matter (lmao im not done w crooked kingdom yet but I already prefer their duology over the trilogy 😭🤚🏼) but given the fact that this particular adaptation of the story (or even season) is about Alina and Her experiences,, it’s kind of a given that the story will literally revolve around her and the challenges she faces ?????

the books obviously talked about what inej and the others went through + but that was because they had two books and individual chapters to flesh out their characters, plus we learned about their origins through a flashback type thing, it wasn’t a linear storyline.

This season had 8 episodes, so I really didn’t expect them to focus on their backstories since it's established that they’ve been working together for a while (the three crows, not Nina and Matthias). In the show, Alina has just discovered her powers = meaning her arc has just started.

lastly, about how it was unnecessary that Zoya was racist to Alina >> This one confused me a lot im ngl, because in the first book zoya does act like a lil bitch to Alina and everyone in the little palace — Marie and Nadia constantly talked shit abt her behind her back — bro even Genya didn’t like her lol — ALSO she even admitted to this in the second or third book right ?? So considering where her arc goes — I thought that this was obvious ?? she was meant to be disliked at first bc she literally has a redemption arc (AHHH don’t get me wrong here I loved zoya in the end pls shes so snarky ahidhshshs she a lil bitch but she owns it 😌😌 as she should)

I know she wasn’t outright racist to Alina in the books — but she was mean to her — *if I’m not wrong doesn’t she also whisper to Alina in front of the king about how she was an orphan peasant?* given the changes in the show, I thought it was understandable for her to treat her that way (not that it’s ok for anyone to be treated that way but you get the point right...) also idk if this counts but she does correct that one lady saying that Inej was suli and not whatever she originally said.

okk that’s all I can think of now, if you made it this far I wanna say thank uuu so much ily 🥰 ,, I know this was long I didnt think I had this much to say.

if you want then pleaseee share some of your thoughts 🤲🏼🤲🏼 i don’t want to subconsciously be a racist apologist or anything 😭😭 so I’m open to hearing what u have to say ++ also I’m really just wondering why I saw this so differently compared to everyone else ahshsjhdhs.

edit: ive only read the trilogy and six of crows so far. i havent had the time to start crooked kingdom or nikolai's books bc school :/ soo if youre gonna comment, please dont mention anything about crooked kingdom and anything after that !! huhu shhshshsa

SECOND EDIT: someone commented on this but i posted it accidentally and deleted the old one and didnt see their comment im gonna cry aaaaaa

[fallingsunflower]

BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

[disloopy]

the heart is deceiving pt 4

BLOO

genre: angst, fluff, smut

word count: 1.7k

coming back to this fic after monthsss made me realize how shit and cringe it is and oh my god, you all deserve much better writing. yuck. HOWEVER, i will keep posting it until it's finished ( since id already written the whole thing ) because i do kind of like the ending sooo

pls stay w me cause im working on a sik k friends to lovers au and i know it's gonna be way better than whatever the hell this is...

clubbing really takes a toll on you, physically and mentally. i didn't even drink but i managed to have a headache by the night. i stumbled through the crowd, approaching the counter and slumping down in the seat. the bartender asked if i needed anything and i only ordered some water. she left to get it. 

my phone buzzed with a text from my dad, saying he might not be home tonight because of work. "oooh, that's exciting," said daniel, glancing at the text and sliding into the seat next to mine. he asked the bartender for something that sounded pretty intense and i gulped down my water.

"live a little," daniel urged, offering me the dark liquid but i shook my head. "ugh, you're so annoying and uptight." i rolled my eyes.

"thanks. that's sweet."

"kiss me."

"no."

"why?" daniel asked, pouting. 

"cause you're drunk as fuck and i hate the taste," i told him, trying to walk away but daniel grabbed my hand, turning me around. i pulled my arm away from him with a frown. "will you stop following me around like a lost puppy?" 

"i get worried when you're not with me." 

"yeah, i know," i said, reaching for my phone and showing it him. "you probably can't read but you know what says? 17 missed calls and 51 unread messages..." daniel grinned sheepishly but i wasn't finding it funny. "i was right next to you, daniel... i get that's it kinda dark in here but there's no way you could have missed me." 

daniel stuck out his bottom lip. "i just didn't want you to get lost, that's all. there's lots of creepy dudes here, they'll pick up anything with boobs." i groaned.

"stop. this isn't funny, it's an obsession and i don't like it." 

i tried to leave again and again daniel tried to pull me back but this time jojo got in between us, noticing the tension. "what the hell is going on here?" she asked, her voice trembling like she had just finished crying. i looked at her. her eyeliner was slightly smudged which gave me the answer right away.

"she won't let me love her," daniel whined.

"you only love me when you're drunk," i murmured and then jojo convinced daniel to go away for little while which he finally complied. the two of us sat on the curb outside the club, just on the sidewalk where we could still here the muffled sound of the music inside.

"what's wrong?" i asked her. she's usually the one comforting me and giving advice, so it was strange to be switching roles.

"boys are so complicated," she answered, blowing a puff of smoke into the dark of the night. "were you the one who gave my number to jinyoung?"

i nodded. "i'm sorry if i wasn't supposed to... i thought he was cute and you're cute and things could maybe..."

"it's not that," said jojo, taking a swig of the bottle she was holding. "did you know he loves me? he told me that."

"i just assumed..." i shrugged. jojo buried her face in her hands and i furrowed my brows. "jojo... you don't have to cry about it. you can choose the man you like... it doesn't have to be either." 

she sniffed, looking up and wiping her tears. "i know... i just feel so bad. i just like to fuck around and stuff but what if i'm actually catching feelings? nick called me babe.... what's it like to be in a relationship?"

i chuckled. "it's not all that... trust me, i feel like i'm not even in a proper one." we both laughed a little and the air felt lighter. "what are you going to do?"

jojo shrugged. "what i always do... nothing. besides i'm receiving clout from hanging out with these rappers so," she laughed and the smell of cigarettes just filled my nostrils. "why do i have to be so hot that boys are just tripping over themselves for me?" we talked for a little bit about how boys suck but also about which ones we'd smash because they can be fine sometimes too.

"it's fun when you're around," jojo told me with a smile. "daniel really bought out the wild side of you." i nodded and jojo leaned over, pressing her chapped lips against mine for a fleeting second before pulling away. 

"heyyyy, is it too late for a show?" daniel chuckled, walking over to us. "oh come on, keep going, don't mind me." 

"you're disgusting," jojo said, shaking her head and shoving him as he tried to put his arm around both of our shoulders. 

"i gotta go home anyway," i informed the both of them. "my head hurts and we got school... i haven't finished homework yet." 

"good luck with that," said jojo, brushing off her jeans and walking back into the club after ruffling me and daniel's hair. 

daniel rested his head on my shoulder. "i can drop you home." i sighed.

"you're too drunk to drive."

"we can test our limits." 

i ended up driving myself home in daniel's car while he blasted music and sang the lyrics out loud. then, i let him inside my house even though i told myself i wouldn't when we first got into the car. it was my foolish self who held his hand all the way to my bedroom and lied in bed with him until we let our bodies do the talking and our sounds created music in the silence of the night. i slept knowing he was right beside me, his arms wrapped around my waist, his bare chest slowly rising and falling to the rhythm of his  beating heart. he was safe and i was safe and we were each other's for the night.

***

"honey, are you decent, can i come in?" dad's knocking the door woke me up with a start. i quickly sat upright and shook daniel awake who just groaned. 

"um yeah, one second." i pushed him off the bed and his eyes shot open, about to complain but i hushed him, ushering him to get under the mattress which he obeyed. "come in!"

dad opened the door and i tried not to look nervous at all. "sorry i wasn't here last night." i didn't reply cause it was usual. "but i made breakfast for you and i wanted to tell you to have a good sunday before i leave to run some errands."

i smiled. that was the first time he'd said something like that. "okay daddy, i love you."

"i love you too baby."

when dad finally left, i let daniel come out of hiding. he clutched his head and i had to get him some tylenol and water before i let him eat breakfast with me. "did something happen last night?" he asked, eagerly digging into the pancakes. "cause you never allow me in your room and i just woke up in your bed."

i shrugged with a sly smile. "oops?" 

"well, whatever it was, i'm sure it was good."

"do you not remember anything?"

daniel shook his head. "nope." good, i thought, breathing out a sigh of relief. i was a major bitch to him last night - understandably. but i hoped it was something of the past that wouldn't ruin anything.

"i wish i could stay with you but i have to go to the studio today," daniel informed me while putting his clothes on. "jinyoung's like... totally diligent and he may be my friend but he's also my manager so." 

i giggled. "yeah, i get it." i handed him a water bottle to drink on the way back and he kissed my lips very gently. "i'll miss you."

"you can see me tonight. there's another party, i can pick you up."

"no, i have homework to do today."

"righttt, you're still in school." daniel chuckled, pulling his shoes on. "sexy schoolgirl." i rolled my eyes and kissed him once again at the doorway. i lowkey didn't want him to leave because i spent most of my weekend with him already and didn't want to be alone again.

"i'll visit you tonight... at your window." 

i was glad he left me with those words because it gave me something to look forward to tonight. i didn't go out at all that day. jojo came over and we did our homework together and we never usually did something like that but i enjoyed it.

she showed me her texts with jinyoung which we squealed over because i never realized how smoking hot he was until then. besides, he was good at flirting, just like daniel. 

when jojo left after eating dinner (which was thai takeout), i felt that loneliness again. no one was home but me so i decided to watch tv and maybe study for my next exam. life is quite boring like this but at least daniel would visit me tonight after the party.

i waited and waited and waited. he didn't show up. i called him a bunch of times but he didn't pick up. obviously he was partying too hard but i just wished he hadn't promised me something if he couldn't pull through. 

i sighed and lied in bed, still waiting. but he didn't come so i ended up falling asleep.

about 3am in the morning, my phone buzzed beside me. i groggily answered it. if the caller had been anyone other than daniel i wouldn't have. "hello?"

"babe?"

"hmm?"

i heard daniel breathe out on the other end. "sorry for leaving you hanging..."

"it's okay," i murmured, too sleepy to say anything else or to guilt trip him. "i guess you drank too much at the party."

there was a pause. "no... i actually didn't go to the party." 

"seriously?" i giggled sleepily. "that's hard to believe."

"yeahhh... i didn't feel up to it," daniel chuckled quietly on the other end. i felt my mind wander but then it was bought back. "i wanna sing my song to you." 

"go ahead," i whispered, holding the phone close to my face as i closed my eyes. the song started with something like "you're my downtown baby" and i couldn't remember the rest. i was too focused on how soothing his voice sounded over the phone while he sang.

after a couple minutes. "baby... are you still awake?"

"mhm," i replied. it felt like my mind was asleep but daniel's voice could keep me up all night long. 

"i'm moving back to korea."

[unproduciblesmackdown]

hmm here’s me talking about su sort of lmao like i said i’m not here to be particularly scentamentle?? just say funney stories....and some opinions.....it’s really been a hot minute and i haven’t been making Long text posts about things so i can throw one out there even if it’s got no thesis statement

also like i said i just so happened to like, actually watch the first ep on actual tv when it actually premiered....all i super remember knowing about it beforehand was like “oh rebecca sugar getting her own series right on” and i was gonna check it out on that alone and then also i remember before it debuted there was an article about it in the wapo in the sort of “local”-ish section b/c it was like. hey this is based in uh yknow the dmv....delmarva area.....this whole Region.....and i (from nova and in nova at that time, and flipping thru the print wapo every day) was like haha. neat. also god damn it was 2013, hell of a year. i can tell you little about it b/c it was so crappy i just like did not bother much with things like “distinct memories” lmfao. great to have like, a weekly thing towards the end of that hot mess (november??? or smthing??) back when....god........it aired weekly.........anyways yeah i was pleasantly surprised from the start i don’t Get when people are like “can’t watch this in order :/ the first few eps don’t sell it well” like okay speak for yourself god dman....more on that later i’m sure lmfao. hot takes

my brother started watching it too just cuz he’s game for shit that way and i was keeping up with it. like i remember i thought cheeseburger backpack was extra fun and i think i showed him a rerun and i remember he thought it was funny lol the Raft Gag......and when i was watching tiger millionaire i kept For Real Laughing and he came over like what is going on.....and i think he was signed on from there........again pretty fun for it to be this weekly thing. also maybe i’m not here to be Sentamental but i was also like “oh no that Spoke to my feelings unexpected :(” during tiger millionaire when amethyst was all “you can’t let anyone make you feel like garbage” and “i only feel how i wanna feel” like guess who was in the early stages of “my self esteem is so crappy it’s starting to circle around into [trying to increase self esteem]”.........like i said hell of a time. though then that’d be 2014 by then i think?? still a hell of a time

started to get “i think i will draw the same character one million times” about it at some point in 2014 too lmfao......every instance of [me drawing the same shit one million times], which is the only way i ever draw anything, then like, benefits whatever i draw later cuz like. sure get some practice out of it. and even though like, it wasn’t quite as huge an Internet Thing as it was gonna get once i started to draw shit, it was already like, classic-me Kinda Niche to be like “hey gang who is going ham about the bored dumbass teens”....not so niche that there weren’t other people going “yeah i am” at any given time tho. and then we put our hands in the middle and go Yeah!! and jump up hsm style. it was also a great time for something Fun and (easier than marble hornets lol) to draw b/c. it simply was a good time for it.....struggling to draw shit back then even more than is like, usual. oh and also i forget but i had sort of Withdrawn from the mh fanbase b/c it got this whole influx of randos after fjsfdking the Video Game we all know the one and i was like. i am gonna.....sidle over here. nobody Likes to be in a fandom actually lmfao. and i mean even while su was getting to be A Whole Thing i was like. bro i am over here in the Donuts section and it is a little quieter and i use the tag sometimes but i’m all set, thanks. still the least Niche niche i’ve been in probably lmfao....see: the fact that probably still way most of my followers are here from su times even tho idk who’s even active still

also had a high time making some great Long Text Posts. i kind of always fail 2 grasp that even as much as my drawings that stuff leads to me actually getting to interact with people, b/c like, those text posts have me actually saying Words in them, which helps lmfao..........i think it’s like, these posts are probably Not That Fun for most people, but then for the people who Are like “oh sweet this is something that i actually want,” that’s obviously a helpful way to find a kindred spirit lmao.....like hey cool you already know i can’t shut up and am opinionated and obviously a lil much? fantastic let’s do this. plus idk it’s fun to Not Shut Up Actually. like, not the biggest deal. ppl can just Scroll Past. or not

speaking of “getting practice Not Shutting Up and Drawing Shit”.......hilarious when in late 2018 i find myself like. oh so you’re telling me this excellent character who is a self-sabotaging struggling-to-know-how-to-cope-with-shit-and-connect-with-others insecure af Teen is not appreciated / ignored / deemed Awful (and then ignored) by the majority of the fanbase?????? hahaha you don’t say....but No Problem. let me just talk about how this person has Complexity actually and is a lot more sympathetic than not and i hate all of you omg like do we have to do all of this ourselves lmfao........guess so, Fine

what am i talking about funny stories who is this funny to lmfao. okay no but okayyy what an experience when the island adventure preview came out and for like the next 4 days i did not experience depression lmao........i Jumped on the opportunity b/c it was like, early fall i wanna say??? i think sept?? 2014 and i was kinda mulling over going to gmx (which was this convention the Marble Hornets gang kept getting invited to & i’d been 2 twice b4 but missed the previous yr coz it was 2013 and i was way not thriving) and yeah jumped on the “depression / (as much) anxiety who???” superpower to Ask if it was cool if i went to a friend’s wedding in georgia for a weekend. there was no friend’s wedding in georgia. and then i went to gmx AND. ironically (not really im sure. idk what irony means and idc) gmx weekend ended up being the same weekend island adventure actually aired and when i left that morning (gmx being in nashville) my lil bro (getting up for school) was like GO GO and i actually made it in time to catch it in the hotel room but. they didn’t have the channel despite it being listed on the channel guide. i about flipped lmfao but i did see it later that weekend and flipped again. gmx was an a-okay time as well lmao that was the last time i made it

they may have never sold a licensed Lars S1 Green/Purple Snake Tee but look when i have this green racerback with a neat snake print & this necklace of purple quartz crystals and also when i was at gmx i bought this necklace with one (non purple, non actual crystals but plastic shaped like it / glossed) pendant In The Spirit Of It All and it gets compliments. anyways the point is. indirectly representing

speaking of crystals = lars i’d just like to reiterate that i’m always right. like sure i was like “look i don’t know how lars could have Crystal Magic in him but something is up with the fact he’s = pink magic flowers with crystals inside them Means Something.” i think it’s reasonable to Not have predicted he dies and gets revived w/ crystal magic that’s in him now. but that’s still a Win for realizing somethings up....tfw as early as like s2 times i’d be like “well the donuts gotta get involved in the center of adventure at Some point and also i Know it is important that steven is just lars’s rly annoying little brother and y/n do you think lars would die to protect him i think he would...” like. i didn’t wanna be That right :/

tfw me and my brother were watching rose’s scabbard while my mom was napping it out in the armchair and like silently Sharing A Look at the whole “she was beautiful” thing like. lol harold

i still don’t know how much of a Thing(tm) magfest is but as far as i can figure it it’s No Comic Con (like, thank god :| ) but still kind of a thing. anyways i learned of it cuz i saw there was gonna be a couple su panel thingies & i looked it up & we were less than an hour away and so it was like midnight but i ask my brother like hey wanna swing by this thing on this one friday. and he was like Sure. so i made it happen and he was 17 so we had to drag our dad to the bank to Notarize a form that he was allowed to be there accompanied by me. it was a big place and it also took us a while to find Registration or whatever and when we tried getting sandwiches later it cost like $7 each go figure. anyways but we were just there for the one Event & there was a room like filled with arcade games and a bunch of other consoles (also Retro though. like old computers n stuff) and they had Galaga, thank fucking god. we 2 playered that shit and wandered around and also 2 playered a game called toobin, which was funny. real gamers know. 

when we were in the (pretty long) Line to get into the Panel, i actually like. spotted a then-mutual who i (was pretty sure i) recognized from her occasional selfie lol and who i guess had travelled all the way from the west coast for the weekend. when we were actually Seated she happened to be a couple rows back and both of us on the end of the aisle and i asked my brother if he could read her nametag (to verify lol) and i bopped over to have the cringe and fail exchange of “hey do you have a Tumblr” and then i was like “haha i’m milo i’m ummmwine” and she got up to hug me and then i had to scamper back to my seat cuz shit was starting lol

like my life was not changed by this event but we had fun and. the Hilarious story is that it was also partially a Q&A and i had a Q and my brother encouraged me by again whispering “go go” as soon as the first syllable was spoken implying Line up For Questions.....i was in like, the last idk, haaalf dozen or so ppl who made it to the mic? and look i knew i was gonna be asking a niche question that like 3 other people of the hundreds in the room would care about but So What. deal with it gang, let’s have some Variety. but i was still nervous. and when i’m nervous, i a) Have A Script and b) get even chattier. and right after the person Right In Front Of Me got their answer, i guess it was noticed that it was getting down to the wire so they were like “haha okay lightning round :)” and i was like NO.......GOD..........lmfao like too late im sorry i Can’t make it lightning round. i was muy anxious.....just that, again, hundreds of people there, i have the floor, nobody’s gonna Like my quastion......and they didn’t know the answer (which i figured was v possible lol) so i was like oh no sklfjd hope this entire room doesn’t hate me. i mean of course i didn’t care if they did too much but, Nerves....also im valid, but were the like half dozen people who asked prior to me about shit that would CLEARLY be too spoilery to answer valid????? no lmfao. cmon. that’s what’s Really cringe

well here we ffw a bit b/c Mid To Late 2015 is certainly a time for me and it doesn’t really make for an interesting story so just to tldr it lmao like, got some beautiful moral support from someone as i was makin a Lifestyle Change lol and continued to get beautiful moral support from that same person and i continue to benefit from it....You know who you are!!!! tyvvm....and it occurred to me that the reason i am where i physically am is via someone i met thru su-posting.......which is true of the You Know who you are person too, which is why i brought it up lmao

uhh god not as many Stories after that lol.....def got to engage in “i’m ___ i’m gonna [draw the same character i always draw] so i won’t be so ___” during interesting times lol. love that for me

tbh the uh. Wanted arc was truly one of the best Serial Arcs, just dramatic & solid af and also it’s lars time and for a second i go “god well at least maybe now ppl will acknowledge lars is a gr8 character” and then a second later i go “Oh No they’ll only say he’s a good character *Now*” and that’s exactly what happened lmfao but well we still got as much lars fanart as we ever got outside that couple weeks aftermath... l o l . . . i had to wait One Zillion Years for my little brother to catch up to this b/c. he was watching via hulu i think where like, a full season would come out a good while after the finale. seriously i think it took him almost 2 years. im like dammit lmfao this is What Matters dfslk....fond memories when hulu was free / no login req’d / shit would be available like the day after airing

uhhhHHH crazy how this show muscled through the weird scheduling change where it was like “no weekly eps Only Erratic Hiatuses”......ppl were so foolishly Into the first “5 eps in a row” release and i was like “no i don’t like this” and then a year later i was like “you see. You See.” rip

i think we can even ffw to sutm at that point lol....im like im in this for lars okay lmfao kinda Shrugggg @ things by this point lol like finale shminale. where’s he at. and i really wasn’t paying a world of attention to like, prior-to-release lore n announcements so i was just plunged into this chaos of like sorry???? excuse me?? of all the people in the world sarah stiles?????? lfsdj like noooo don’t show me these tweets lmfao......truly it’s fine i’m being Hilarious but it’s also very real that like, when i see things like “showtime(tm)” or “SHO” or “billions content” i’m just doused with Dread b/c i hate this series lmao i swear to christ. but it’s really Fine lmfao like. i was kinda “eh :/” to “yea this is alright” about the rest of it but spinel was The Highlight lmfao and having $50 to go ham on her animation was great but really the voice acting Made It.....like the entire takeaways was uh the other friends sequence and fuckin uhh this part. fuck it up ms. stiles........hit it out of the park..........cain was the first funny bitch and spinel was the second. that thought just came to me and i will not elaborate. call that a revelation. oh and also it was a relief cuz i was like “i s2g if this Antagonist is like, aquamarine-style annoying af....i will die” but No. spinel is annoying af in another way which is her rights and i don’t want to die about it lmfao. she’s good.......i don’t even resent the “how come whenever some rando shows up ready to literally kill everyone for no good reason, all of you are ready to be like ‘wow an icon’ and we can’t have 10% of that energy for the teen who’s kinda bitchy b/c he’s annoyed by life and crap???” thing b/c i mean, she had her whole Arc all at once and also is good enough for it i think. the nadir was when the one rando shows up for like One episode like “i Don’t want to kill everyone :3 syke >:)” and for some reason people were like “omg iconic. call them on their ‘don’t kill everyone’ bullshit” like lol i hate you guys

well i like lars’s [last outfit we see him in] and i feel like it only backs up the bi agenda. another epic gamer moment had been when it became a Popular Hc that lars is trans b/c he is lmao. and everyone was all “why is everyone sayign this why would you want him to be trans he sucks” like get good grandma!!!!!!!! it’s too late. well that’s the end of my post. me in 2014 being like “wow way to have something to keep up with b/c now i have to outlive it to get all the dnads content i guess” and here i am. but it’s almost April 2020 so. haha 

hmm what’s a less ominous ending. oh shit another thing that was funny is i was like So about these Skull Plugs featured in this semi-official drawing of lars once and then horror club came out (fun b/c i like horror) and had the skull plugs for Real & they were glow in the dark. that was a big day for me even seeing the promos lmfao. except then i guess it was foreshadowing, so again i end this with Death. don’t we all

wait no lsfdjs What tf was matthew moy talking about “i like your hair.” dude dropping an i-guess cut line on us lmfao. alright alright im done

[joseyfeli1-blog]

This is it. Halloween 2017

So this Halloween (sadly) i will not dress up. But i will strip down, Ayyyyy!!

alright back to business. Sexuality, Identity, and least important of this bunch, Biological Sex.

This post is for my blog and to be written down. I am still closeted, which i only will tell people that i believe will not care so much about this info. Serisouly in my life, it isnt a huge thing for me.

So it has come to me, throughout this year i really shouldn’t say i am cisgender, and heterosexual. And for me that was strange for me to be so okay with. Yet it wasn’t of how accepting and how much i love myself. No. it is truly cause i knew i wasn’t but never went to go check up the lgbt+ shit, and didn’t care about this stuff. But here i am, caring about myself (how do i feel about that? ehh). Sexuality was never something i cared to bring up/talk about, but Senior year (high school) and im just realizing that from past experiences that, yeah, it is more complicated than - hetero, cis. Yeah no, mostly all my lifes explanations are paragraphs, or essays. long story short, This post is really not for the people who would support me (though Thank You so much) and also not for me to accept me. Again I never cared for my sexuality and i still dont, but since i might get asked, and i would like an straight(Hah!) answer.Okay so here it is…

Identity

A big thing this is. Most explanation will be put into this (not for people to believe me, just so its written somewhere). I want to be identifyed as Genderfluid, three genders, Male, Female, and Non-Binary. For friends on here, dont worry im fine with the pronouns and or whatever you all me. I enjoy no remembering that im biologically male, but i understand people wont care for me in the future. Plus about 17 years of it, kind of numbs you to caring about the pronoun game. So why identify as genderfluid and not be cisgendered? Well for me i am self aware that i depreciate myself (all the fucking time) and some part of it was, so i mustnt hate myself enough to realise i should accept the idea of me being identified as the other two genders. So i thought about, i hate most masculine shit. feminine shit? Love a lot of it! Shit with no gender?  Cool as fuck. So why be filtered Josey? why not embrace this threepeice mofo? 

Why do i believe myself to be these genders?/ Why identify as them?

picture a triple Venn diagram please? Male, Female, Non-Binary.

Why male? i WILL NOT degrade the beauty of the other two genders to have me as a full addition. (self-depreciation, i know, again self aware af) 

Why Female? They all are strong as H E L L! to be apart of them, thats a nice thought. Plus ive had a front row seat of how most common men act towards women and i will not be apart of those asses(i am a different kind of asshole, but that is for another post, not the time right now) I never liked the way how most people talk about how lesbians are only hot and the they are sexualized, THEN! when they bring it up! everyone calls them crazy and disregards the actions of sexualizing women loving women.

Why Non-Binary? They have no need for being either common gender, Awesome! in my opinion. The fact that i never cared for my gender  through my young life, speaks out to me, not loudly, but i know i barely care for the thing in between my pants, regardless my bio sex. In fact, i wont have memories of me being called specific pronouns and shit where i feel nostalgia over them, you wanna know why? Cause i dont remember being called a boy and enjoying it! i just remember having a great time with video games or walking around the houses ive been in.

Seriously days go by without me acknowledging that im male, so in my opinion no it doesn’t matter to me what people think of me, nor if they will support my identifications. Hence, Genderfluid, not trans, not just Non-binary. But three halves, to make a whole.

Sexuality

Alright the simpler part of this post. So when growing up, media, my family, myself, just thought it was okay for making me believe that: Yes! i am hetero! i like women! and it is okay how many are being degraded!

took me a second, but luckily i do not think that at all anymore. (for people that are going to argue me, realize that: too bad if im wrong! i aint changing this post for you!) Now sadily it took me tim eto notice how heteros i knew/ know think its fine how they think so lowly of the people they find sexually attractive, but opinions opinions! so i digress.

I am DemiPansexual (and probs demiromantic, not the time to figure that shit out yet.;p)

Demisexual- Part of the Ace spectrum, you are sexually attracted to no one other than people you have created such powerful bonds with, the immensity or lack of strong bond is obviously individual preference.

Pansexual- People sexually attracted to people whom are themselves as much as possible. See People, we dont care for biological sex, identity, or sexual orientation of whomever we feel attracted to sexually. Again personal reference is what you are looking towards other people (or yourself? who nows? some freaky narcissistics out there, @rapforeminem im looking at You!:p). For me, people being themselves the most, and me seeing them sexually attractive because of it- That (again for me) is someone living their life where they cant stop learning themselves and aspiring to be themselves as we all know, we gonna die soon. the fact is (in my opinion), People dont change, they adapt and grow. They become what their soul is. i believe that souls know what we will become, hopes that we discover all 100% of ourselves, i pray to know all of me, but im also scared, so i will not try to really go out for the answer, if it happens, it happens, and cool too. To see someone be themselves and embrace it, brightens my mood. seeing their bright eyes, makes me bite my lip (like a loser and/or fangirl, lol), it makes me feel good/ special to be there for it. it is special and sweet. anyhow, i hate seeing people as sexual objects, i know i very much did before, but for me, it was normalized! for me! i am justifying me right now, im justifying when i didn’t know that was not how i like to think and act.

DemiPansexual- So why use both? Well, i shouldn’t call myself/ use the ace spectrum to use for myself, again big respect for each one of them, because  i have seen people that i didn’t have/ picture of having a profound bond with. And I love the soul of others, they’re so pretty! Especially when they are really unfiltered.

now because i am pansexual, doesn’t mean i have to seek out the entire soul of another to be even a tiny bit sexually attracted to them. That is my opinion. This Whole Fucking post is my god damned opinion, why type and post it? it will give me god damn peace broham. having something written, helps me cope, so in a sense, this helps me be me, acceot myself and my complicated sexuality/identity.

So for people whom talk, or want to talk to me (there is no line for that), and dont know how to talk to me aafter i come out, just notice, i never really talked about myself in these ways before! i never really cared, i am numb to how poeple just saw a straight regular boi. GOD do i wish it was that simple, literally over an hour typing this shit! But of course to end it,

Biological sex

i am boi

Alright that is it! Hahaha, okay so this is going out at 2:00 am in texas time, but 12:00am (Halloween) for westcoast of the united states. ill reblog during the day of Halloween. not to advertise myself, but for people that want a coming out post, and or support me no matter what (thank you again, love you lot) i identify as.

Oh and i understand that there are so many! so many spectrums and other shit, so if you read all this, or just feel like im incorrect and ou are in fact more intelligent in this subject than me and try to tell me “that i am actually something else”, or “there is a better title for you” i wont listen right now, im fucking exhuasted okaying this post as is, ill check on myself and the wikipedia if I feel the need to. And if you do not beileive or disagree with any part of my coming out shtuff, talk to me directly, no need to hurt my supporters, followers, people i follow, random Tumblr users, and especially mutuals( I Love you guys! MWAH!). Message ME that im wrong or dont exist! not the people that had no idea this post was being done! give me your hate! im cool with it! I Will allow it!

Anyway! Happy mother fucking Halloween California! Have a safe and fun one this year! and everywhere else for that matter. 

[bartsugsy]

Is it just me or is anyone else so offended by Rebecca's character because she is such a pale shadow of female representation? I'm outraged that in the 21st century a woman can be not even a set of character traits, but literally a walking (nice dressed) uterus who bends in the wind. No agency whatsoever. Deplorable! Rebecca makes me miss the 90s and the riot grrrl movement. She makes me want to daub myself in blood and put on a baby doll dress and scream into the abyss. What were they thinking?

ah anon, you know i can’tresist a good rebecca ask. it’s my weakness.

and like... you’re really not wrong.

i mean, i don’t know if it offends me - well, yes, it does, buti think rebecca was brought in for a few specific narrative purposes and iguess that’s ok in and of itself, but they’ve never fleshed her out into muchof a real character beyond those purposes so she exists in her currentiteration as a supporting character and they don’t seem to have any desire tochange that. which. just makes it uncomfortable, the more you think about it. andapparently I’ve thought about it a bunch.

i think the other thing is… those narrative purposes she has aremostly related to male characters. they’ve fleshed this out a little but mostlyshe’s been fairly irrelevant to every storyline - except one. there is onestoryline in which she is completely necessary in her function and it is clearly entirely the reason why she was brought in in the first place.

what i’m saying is that rebecca white literally exists todevelop robert sugden as a character and prop up his relationship with aaron.

(you could maybe argue that she is important to the whitestorylines but those have had very little long term affects beyond the waysthat link robert to the whites. i want to go into this more but i need toactually rewatch her white storyline stuff first, so maybe i’ll change my mind,but tbh it feels more like… her relationship with her family is a by-product ofbringing her in for her main purpose of affecting robert and robron. again,that’s for another post)

but that in turn leads to her being written like an inconsistentplot device. i think i’ve sort of developed enough of a fanwanky reasoningbehind her actions so far, but it doesn’t work as well as i’d like. it doesessentially boil down to her being in love with robert, though - she’s, ithink, actually a very tragic character and i have a lot of sympathy for her -but it takes a hell of a lot of mental gymnastics constantly to bring me backto that place, because the show doesn’t care enough to do it for us. and it’sannoying. because i do think they could make her story so compelling if theywanted to.

but ultimately they wouldn’t, because robert is in many ways avillain in her story and the story they want to tell is more robert being avillain in his own story (and again, that’s another post all on its own).they’re not telling rebecca’s story. not at all.

anyway! basically. female character essentially being the toolthe show uses to explore male character robert and his relationships. great. gr e a t.

and because what’s the point in making big sweeping contentiousstatements if you can’t back them up:

so the big thing the show has tried to drill into our headsrepeatedly is that robert was with chrissie for her money and her power,largely. he loved her in his own way, but he loved himself way more. he flirtedhis way up the company through lawrence, exploiting lawrence’s complicatedfeelings about his own sexuality and attraction to robert (see: the iconicscene close to the beginning of ryan!robert’s introduction where he saysexactly that to larry and suddenly we are given a window into why exactlylawrence hates robert so vehemently, to the point of faking a heart attack tostop his first attempt to marry chrissie). saw an opening and got with chrissieand then rebecca and then eventually chose chrissie, who undoubtedly has moreof a pull in the running of the company and more access to the money, as opposedto free-spirited rebecca, who we’ve seen is not at all competent at working inthe business and has very little overall experience with it.

we see robert repeatedly reaping the benefits of the whites’money and power - and the position that we know he is in fact very good at,thereby earning his own money on top of that (but again - in a position hefasttracked his way to via chrissie and lawrence).

anyways (you already know this is gonna be long af bc look howmuch im rambling) we see, particularly in the argument after chrissie finds outabout the home farm robbery and his reaction to almost dropping the cheque shegives him - and really everything robert does in that break up with chrissie,when he’s desperate to get his old life back, that robert ultimately cares moreabout the money than he does about his wife.

fast forward to robert post-coma, post-redemption arc and nowfully committed to being in a relationship with aaron. he still loves money andfights hard to make as much of it as possible, usually still somehow at theexpense of the whites, but we as an audience don’t have any solid proof thatrobert really cares more about aaron than he does about his og love, money.

we’ll come back to this in asecond, but the other thing we see in robert’s relationship with chrissie isthat he never exactly had any compunction to remain faithful to her. he says to aaronearly on (in the barn) that he has had a bunch of one night stands, but neveranything beyond that, which is the first indication to the audience that somehowaaron is different for robert. we later learn that he did in fact also sleepwith rebecca multiple times. according to robert, it was all before he andchrissie got serious, whatever that means in rob’s mind , at which pointhe stopped, although we also know that he and rebecca had sex at rob andchrissie’s engagement party (side note, my best guess - that was the last time they slepttogether and also when he knocked her up the first time).

anyways, outside of rebecca and later, aaron, robert had alsohad a bunch of one night stands and just… generally couldn’t keep it in hispants.

again, robert and aaron later become a real couple, long afterhe and chrissie are over for the last time and robert doesn’t seem to beinterested in anyone else (at all, he basically puts his life on hold tosupport aaron throughout the first part of 2016). but - equally, he’s never putin a situation where he’s had the chance.

bringing this back to rebecca - one of the first things she doesis show that she is working with robert to take down chrissie - she’s angry atchrissie for not telling her about lawrence getting shot, or anything that’sbeen going on (and - it’s chrissie that she wants to hurt, not larry or lucky,so we’re once again treated to two girls treating each other like shit for abit, joy of joys) and she wants to help robert get chrissie her comeuppance andalso protect her inheritance. robert brought her in and robert is the onlycharacter she’s not lying to, when she first comes to the village. her sceneswith her family all have the undertone of the fact that she is doing thisbecause robert convinced her to - it’s all about robert’s revenge, narrativelyspeaking.

to bring back my earlier points about robert’s love of money andinfidelity, a lot of her early scenes exist to set the stage for robertproposing in ssw and to show the audience that rob has, in fact, changed - sheoffers him all of home farm, all of that power back, and he says no. she triesto sleep with him repeatedly and he turns her down again and again.

and this pattern continues - she keeps pushing him and he flirtsback, kisses her even - his stupid way of keeping her inside so that they caneventually clear andy’s name, as he says to her when he finally shuts her downonce and for all outside the courthouse. the lines he says to her repeatedlyare things about how important aaron is to him - the show starts to build upthis picture that aaron is special to robert, but also robert is still hisrobert sugden-y self and isn’t above doing stupid things or pushing his stupidplans too far in order to get his way.

like. god i’m not going to list them all THIS IS LONG AND EXTRA TM ENOUGH but there are literallygifsets that exist of all the ways robert proclaims his love for aaron torebecca. so much of their scenes are used to both strengthen our knowledge ofhow much robert loves aaron and also to sow those seeds that robert does stupidand reckless things at the expense of that relationship sometimes - that heloves aaron but he sure as hell also loves money too.

but - again - in the narrative, we’ve been shown repeatedly thatwhen push comes to shove, robert always chooses aaron, that he doesn’t have anydesire to be unfaithful to aaron and he won’t choose money over hisrelationship. even when he was unfaithful, it was basically the product of an emotional breakdown as opposed to his apparent motivation of eh this person is hot and i’m bored why not when he was with chrissie.

and rebecca is the tool that leads the show to show us that so so often.similarly, rebecca is the catalyst for aaron’s jealousy and his eventual prisonstoryline.

everything since her entrance has slowly allowed the show tobuild up to aaron and robert breaking up. every one of their storylines hastied into that, or somehow been driven by her presence. every single one. andthe thing is… it’s nothing to do with who she even is - beyond that initialmanipulative streak she had which has disappeared entirely, it seems.

i know i’ve spoken a lot about her lack of agency as acharacter (and... just about her in general... here here here here here here here here and here are some casual examples... jfc...), so i don’t want to rehash that aspect but… it is more than that,isn’t it? it’s not just her lack of agency - it’s that, while she is absolutelyCRUCIAL to everything that has happened to robert and aaron and the constantcatalyst for every bad decision they’ve made, to showing us the ways thatthey’re not working, it’s not about who she is. who she is is irrelevant. theonly thing she ever needed to be was in love with robert and passive enough tokeep getting pulled back into his orbit and to help him do his bidding,regardless of how he has treated her. she never needed to be more than that andshe really… isn’t, in all honesty. again, i spoke earlier this week about herlack of core characteristics and that plays into that. more than that, eventhough she is the character that has been driving robert and aaron into Troublewith a capital T over and over, none of it has ever really been about her.

mostly - mostly it’s been about showcasing problems that alreadyexisted between them, working towards potentially resolving those issues, or atleast highlighting that they exist.

one argument to the above - recently it has become more abouther in the sense that aaron says that robert sleeping with rebecca inparticular, as his ex and as the catalyst for aaron’s initial jealousy - androbert being tied to her in particular with a baby, was so much more painfuland untenable to him than it might have been, had rob instead slept with arandom.

(it would never have been a random though because as the showtold us, even robert and rebecca sleeping together wasn’t about rebecca - itwas about robert in pain and wanting to hurt aaron. rebecca was an easy targetfor robert - the only thing she needed to be, in that episode, was desperatelyin love with robert enough to ignore any moral compunction she initially had tonot sleep with an emotionally destroyed dude who was married to someone sheproclaimed to like, which she was).

again - it always, always comes down to aaron and in particular,robert. and MORE THAN THAT, we now have robert on screen, being shown in apretty sympathetic light (for rob), in agony over the loss of aaron, once againallowing robert to show character development, to show his absurd love foraaron. and getting into spoiler territory, we know he’s going to get pulledback into the white orbit in a particularly 2015, pre aaron’s good influenceway - something made particularly possible by this brand new unshakeable bondto the whites through his son, who is currently chilling inside rebecca

(although you would never know if from her outfits)

none of rebecca’s story has been about rebecca. she’s pregnantand they haven’t even shown that really - not much beyond the fact that herfamily are supportive and the ways in which it has affected aaron and robert.

she just. she exists for robert and aaron and their story.possibly also the end of the whites, but that’s to be seen. that’s it. andthat… kind is really offensive.

or at least, it’s just writing that is very careless towards afemale character - something which is incredibly prevalent across the show as awhole, but particularly irksome here because this is the storyline we reallycare about lmfao

[i-amusemyself]

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

[rizuno]

Write me a ficlet about Stiles finding random love poems/notes written on little scraps of paper stuffed in weird places, like between the seats in the Jeep, in the pockets of hoodie he swore he just washed so how could there be intact paper in there, in his shoes, under his pillow. Who is writing all these notes and how do they keep randomly appearing on Stiles person!?!?!

This is unbeta-d, and I am subjecting you dear reader(s?) to poetry written by me masquerading as English!Major Derek Hale. BASICALLY I’m SORRY ABOUT THE CRAP POETRY OK. also im really fuckin pissed off about the spacing of the poems but tumblr is adamant about pretending to not know what the fuck im trying to do when i try and reformat it i need to stop before i just delete this whole post in a fit of RAGE

For RachelBBY

Scraps

The first time it happens, Stiles doesn’t think anything of it. He figures he just wrote it himself in English and then forgot. It’s just a neglected scrap of paper hiding amidst other papers under his desk, sacrificed on the altar of a weekly allowance with everything else he throws out as he cleans his room. He only really glanced at it anyway, he was preoccupied with being pissed off at Derek for being Derek, thinks it said something about heartbeats and irregular spaces. So that was the incident, he supposes.

The second time he’s got his hand stuffed in the crease of Roscoe’s passenger seat in a desperate search for just one fucking quarter, just one, and withdraws a crumpled piece of paper instead. “How long has that been there?” Stiles asks himself as he de-crumples it to read it. He snorts. Obviously quite a while, it’s a poem, and Stiles knows he didn’t write this one, which means it’s circa the Scott/Allison Era.

you laughed

it was Tuesday

you didn’t know I was there

“Not half bad Scotty,” Stiles murmurs, not bothering to finish the rest of it as he tosses it aside and resumes the quest for one measly quarter cause he just wants a burger. Out of life, all he wants is to eat a burger right now. It’s not so much to ask? Right?

He bitches and moans to Scott about his inability to find a quarter and thus eat a burger, but forgets to ask him about the poem thing. The next time he sees Derek, Derek flips him a quarter with a smirk. “Oh, fuck you,” Stiles says, but pockets the quarter and eats him that fucking burger later that night, after they have all managed, miraculously, to not die. “Victory comes in all forms,” Stiles informs Scott sagely in between mouthfuls. So that’s the coincidence, in all its glory.

The third time has Stiles paying the fuck attention, because he’s digging around his back pocket for the quarter Derek gave him, and just as he remembers he spent it already, his fingers close around what must be a receipt. Stiles heaves a grunt of disgust, no curly fries for him then, and glances at the scrap of paper uninterestedly, out of habit, as his arm moves to toss it into the trashcan across the hall. And then he freezes. It’s not some forgotten transaction, it’s a fucking poem. What the fuck. Stiles unfolds the paper and reads the words in their entirety this time, standing in the middle of the hallway as other students stream around him as they head to class. It’s not very long, but it feels like Stiles takes several hours to read it. He reads it like it was meant for him. It must be? Right?

I think

you don’t think of me

all that often

but I think of you

quite often

I’m thinking of you now

I think of you in the morning

I think of you in my bed

at night

I wonder

if you’re thinking of me now

Stiles swallows. His mouth has gone dry. He feels like he just walked in on someone watching some really hot porn. He feels…intimate. He feels…like he’s now late for science. Stiles whirls around in a flail of limbs and pelts to the science lab. But that scrap of paper he doesn’t toss aside. That scrap he keeps. So there’s the pattern.

Stiles was sorta expecting the next one but he wasn’t prepared to find it lying on his keyboard; not there when he went downstairs to grab a soda and now there when he returns.

He tells himself his fingers are shaking with caffeine intake as he reaches out to unfold it, where it lays so innocuously.

He licks his lips, then reads.

I know you’re thinking of me now

will you think of me tonight

in your bed

with your own hands upon yourself

gasping

flushed

and undone

“Ffffuck,” Stiles hisses out between his teeth. There is no way he’s gonna make it to tonight. He’s got a really great jerk off session going, standing there right in front of his desk at 3:30 in the afternoon, pants only pulled down the bare minimum. He’s like feeling it, he is totally ready for this, ‘makes his knees weak’ orgasm he’s coming up on. And then of course, Scotty has to burst in freaking out about supernatural crisis 3B or 6A or whatever number letter combo they’re on now.

“Come on, man!” They both yell at the same time, Scott throwing up his arms and facing the wall as Stiles fumbles to stuff himself back inside his pants. Scott feels the need to ask why. Stiles rants that it’s the privacy of his own fucking room. Scott mutters something about how Derek thinks they need info. “Since when do you listen to what Derek thinks,” Stiles says petulantly as he tosses Scott a bag of Doritos and moves to sit back at his desk. Scott eats the chips on Stiles’ bed as Stiles furiously looks up shit to the best of his ability. The moment is already forgotten. That sort of awkwardness has happened before, and will probably happen again. Which come on Scott, werewolf, use those supernatural senses for once.  After Scott is gone Stiles wonders what four times means. Also he mourns the loss of one of the greatest orgasms he never got to experience.

He finds the next one two nights later, under his pillow as he stretches out on his bed. He’s so relaxed and he’s in bed at a decent hour. Derek did not manage to piss him off when they came across each other briefly earlier in the evening and Stiles is ready for some nappy naps. When his fingers brush the edge of the crinkled bit of paper the first feeling he gets is surprise. It’s quickly followed by a quick dip of excitement in his gut. He doesn’t bother to switch any lights on. Too much effort. He reads it by the light of his phone.

I whisper your name to myself

after you’ve left

it’s fairly pathetic

but then last week

you trapped yourself inside your own hoodie

so at least I’m not alone

And Stiles knows. “Derek,” Stiles whispers furiously. He chucks the paper as hard as he can away from him. Which, it being paper, isn’t that far. It flutters down to rest on the bed beside him. That fucking asshole has been laughing at him this whole fucking time. So that’s what comes after a pattern. Epic fuckery.

Stiles sees Derek first thing the next morning; he’s having like, a pre-game huddle with the Erica-Isaac-Boyd triumvirate in the back parking lot behind the gym. “Stiles,” Derek greets him, the hint of a smile on his lips. “You are pathetic,” Stiles snarls at him. Derek’s jaw clenches and his expression turns cold and distant. Stiles whirls around and marches off in righteous fury. Stiles has enough fucking going on in his life without that kind of shit. Stiles thought, he’d thought…it doesn’t even matter what he thought. He was stupid and a dumbass for thinking it.

So naturally he finds the next poem sandwiched in between the pages of this month’s Great English Novel during 3rd period of that day. Stiles isn’t sure when or even how Derek got it in there, but it certainly wasn’t after this morning. He almost doesn’t read it, doesn’t want to give Derek the satisfaction, but he’s Stiles. He must fucking know. He can’t not.

I dreamed of you

it was warm

and bright

and we were safe

you took my hand

and my heart blazed brighter

when I woke

I pretended that it was the future

and if I am patient

that it will be

any day now

“What,” Stiles whispers. His own heart is sinking fast within his chest. His hand clenches down on the poem. “It was all real,” He realizes out loud.

“What?” Scott whispers from the seat behind him.

Stiles whips around in his seat to face him. “Cover for me,” Stiles begs.

Scott doesn’t know what’s going on, but he doesn’t hesitate. “Go,” he says.

Stiles slips from the room, so preoccupied he doesn’t notice that he doesn’t trip or smack into something once.

Derek won’t be at his apartment. Instinctively, Stiles knows this. He jumps in Roscoe and heads straight for the preserve.

The burned out husk of the Hale house looks as tragic and decimating as ever, but that feeling is especially poignant for Stiles at this moment. He gives Roscoe’s wheel one last squeeze, for luck or bravery or whatever, and steps out of the jeep. He tries to repress a shiver as he looks at the charred and broken edifice before him and fails. This had seemed so much simpler, less complicated back in 3rd period. No, Stiles can do this, he absolutely can. He leaps up what’s left of the front steps and barges through the door. “Derek,” he calls.

A few moments of silence, and then a resigned sigh. “What?” Derek asks, voice flat as he materializes out of wherever he was.

Stiles waves the hand that has not once unclenched on the poem in Derek’s general direction.

“You’re serious?” He accuses.

Derek’s stone face takes on a look of frustration. “Yes, Stiles, I’m serious.”

“I…I mean…why?”

Derek sighs like it’s obvious. “I wrote you poems Stiles.”

Stiles seizes upon a detail he has the mental facilities to deal with at this moment. “Why poems though?”

Derek rolls his eyes. “I’m an English Major, Stiles.” Which rude because, like,

“How was I supposed to know that,” Stiles says defensively.

They stand in silence. Derek doesn’t seem inclined to word anymore today and Stiles is furiously thinking.

“You wanna,” and his left hand, the one not still grasping the poem, makes an abortive movement towards Derek, “hold hands?”

After a moment, Derek uncrosses his arms and says, “Okay.” He reaches out, and then they’re holding hands, bridging a gap between them. It’s kind of…awkward. But it’s only awkward in that Stiles suspects feelings are present kind of way, because Derek’s thumb strokes gently along the back of his hand and Stiles feels kinda like, heart blazing or whatever.

“I think of you pretty often,” Stiles admits. “Like, a lot.”

Derek swallows. “Okay.”

BONUS:

First Poem

your heartbeats are

irregular spaces

I dwell there

and refuse to meet your eyes

when you glance my way

Second Poem

you laughed

it was Tuesday

you didn’t know I was there

I have kept it

for myself; that laugh

longing

for your real

and intransigent

presence

[0n3-h4lv3]

10:17pm 9/7/18

FUCK yall. Heres some things that *i* have 2 say. @ morgan : i love u so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U literally deserve every good thing in this entire world. You are so loving and bubbly and positive that it is Infuriating to me that you have to face any hardship whatsoever. You dont deserve that, but you are strong enough to push through it and to make the most of any bad situation, and im SO excited for your future and the amazing things you will accomolish. Youve been my best bud for like ??????? 12 years almost ??????? How badass is that !!!!!!! U are the one bitch on this planet that i truly can tell everything. Nothing on this blog would suprise ir shock u, like a bitch knows whats up bc. God i rlly truly can 100 percent relax in ur company. SOMETIMES i still worry abt dumb shit but then i tell u anyway and it works out ok. Im mad greatful for that. Even with my other besties, i think id go mad without u and our friendship. I dont always send u the most responsive texts, but i DO think abt u every day and i LOVE u 2 bits and bits and bits. I wanna have sleepovers again. And tell bad stories abt marvel and folklore characters in the dark until we pass out laughing at eachother. I miss being kids. I dont think there was a point in my life so far where i have Truly been blissful or care free, i wasnt built that way, but memmories of u and me playing and creating and laughing together are truly the happiest i have. If not for you I would have killed myself three years ago in my bedroom after school, that day that i couldnt stop crying ? I went home and i tore at my shirt and i screamed and sobbed and slammed my head into the floor, lamenting how unlovable i was, but i really did have something that kept me from giving up, and it was you! I know thats heavy, which is why im putting it here and not actually telling you, but even though liv was my big fp at the time, you were rlly my reason to live. I just pray that i can do something meaningful for you, to repay you for being there for me before i die.

Finny! : BUD!!!! Ur actually. An angel but irl. Like sometimes i see you and stop breathing for a second. And im not even talking abt that ur like hot or whatever, its like. Gosh, finn you just have this presence ? And you are simultaniously so forgiving and understanding while taking Absolutely no shit and i respect that hard. Its like rlly hard to be uncomfortable in your presence. I still manage to sometimes, because god made me and was like "yeah this bitch will never see rest of any form", but like compared to the discomfort i feel around Most people, the discomfort i sometimes feel around you is WAY less and very warm asfjgja. I wish i got more hugs from you, i know thats like Mad stupid, but theyre. Validating and wonderful and they mean a lot and feel rlly good so more of those would be cool. I miss laying w u on the couch and watchin horror movies !! I know that was just like a month ago and its not like we cant do it again, but with how busy we are and how busy Everything is im very scared that we actually wont get to, or that u dont want to. Anyway im rambling, but u DO mean the world to me, and im so so sorry if im too much or overbearing. I dont know if you know how much you mean to me ? If youre on this blog you have an idea but i dont think these posts actually paint it accurately. For the past 10 or so years ive had a pattern of latching on to people, one at a time, and putting "all my eggs in one basket" so to say. It can be a best friend, or romantic interest, or both. But regardless ! This person directly and immediately impacts my emotional state. And rn its you !!! Which sucks a LOT. Bc even outside of my shitty "favorite person" thing, you are very important to me, and your friendship is so important to me. But i havent figured out how to negate or counter the whole fp experience, and so whenever u do anything... that i could interpret as disinterest or disgust or like anything negative, it has a 50/50 chance if sending me into a panic, sometimes a full fledged anxiety attack ! And whenever you show interest or affection or anything positive, it beyond makes my day. And thats. Like weird ? And it sucks even more for you, because if you realized how strongly just the tiniest thing can fuck me up, you wouldnt even want to talk 2 me. You would distance yourself to save urself from the stress and me from the whatever this is. But i know that my brain would just pick someone else as soon as you abandon me, so i have to just keep in my head and to myself until the fp thing moves on, or u abandon me anyway, or whatever. Bc i dont want to lose our friendship. And its ok !! But it makes our friendship more complicated on my end. I unintentionally put so much stock into how u percieve me, and so you not wanting to date me for suoer valid reasons still tears at my heart a lot. Like somethings wrong with me or you dont rlly love me or whatever even tho thats not necissarily the case. Anyway. Ill be ok. I rlly will, this is something i just need to man up about and push through ! Thank u for being such a cool friend :).

MADI !!!: UGH bitch. I do love u. Im sorry im late every time u pick me up in the morning and that i complain so goddamn much. I know its unbecoming but in my defense im feeling pretty rock bottom these days and u r like a cute little ray of sunshine that drinjs too much coffee. You are so. Beautiful okay ? That sounds like bullshit cuz im ur best friend and all. But this is honesty hour. See what i wrote to finn and mj ?? Im not fucking around. Im laying it all bare. This is the post yall will find AFTER i kill myself, so im not gonna LIE to u in it. Could u imagine ??? Anyway point is: you are so beautiful, and you are complex and interesting and Capable okay ? Like ur not a background character or basic or none of that. U feel like u are, and u say ur not pretty or whatever, and its like. The dumbest shit bc if u could only see what Every One Else was getting to look at ? U wouldnt recognize urself. Also. U have an INSANELY kind heart. I cant believe u were ok with me fucking your boyfriend. I cant believe you put up with my drama. You buy me coffee ? You go out 2 lunch with me ?? You seem to take genuine interest in me, and like my company !! Its bananas girl. I dont know how i can be so vile and low and selfish and you still stay by me. I dont believe i deserve it, but ur kinda adimant abt remaining my best friend, so hopefully ill have time to become a better person for you, and 2 return the favor. I love u mads. Like, big time. Ur a rock and roll girl and id do anythin 4 ya <3

Myla !! : buddy. Oh my god. A lot of people r likr "ohh im chaotic good" or "wow shes got such chaotic energy" and its MAD bullshit. But real talk ??? U like... do have such powerful chaotic good energy. Ilysm. Ur smile is Contagious. Actually just seeing u at school makes me smile. Ur company and friendship is such a blessing. ALSO lmao ur so ??? Like coy ?? And cheeky ???? Its mad fun, ur just like a very silly very lovely bud. I know you are Also very depressed and hurting. And i hate that so much. You dont deserve it. Nothing about you has earned it, but like depression doesnt care who earns what ya know ? Anyway ur strong. Likr 4 real, and i want u to know that you can SO overcome it, and u have such a bright future okay ?? I love you ! I KNOW finny loves you! I dont know ur parents that well but they'd be BATSHIT to not totally love you. Having you in my life is like a blessing, and i rlly rlly rlly hope i can repay the good energy some day okay ? I know u dont like talking abt how ur feeling, but if u ever want to, or u think of ANYTHING i can do to help, tell me asap okay ? Bc i will not hesitate to be there 4 u, no matter how big or small.

OKAY @ all of you !!! :

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY !!! IM *SO* GREATFUL YOU ARE ALL IN MY LIFE !!! Literally i cant. Express how important you all are. Im crying and i would Literally die for any one of you. That sounds like a silly thing but it would be. An honor to actually lay down my life for the sake of any of u guys, tho im not sure how the situation would arise lol. I feel like i owe y'all so much. I also know that if i am going to get better, i cant do it alone, and i might end up asking more from u guys :(. I hate that, but im hoping you can understand and allow me to return the favor somehow someday.

[barksona]

post-birthday + art updates + other fun stuff

i haven’t been cross-posting my journals from furaffinity and it occurred to me that i should do that!!! i’m super sorry! here’s the journal but i’ll post the text here under the cut

my birthday was a lot of fun and i'm SUPER SUPER THANKFUL for all the birthday wishes!! i had a really good time; we went to the zoo and even though it was hot it was fun! and then we went shopping and like idk i usually dont allow myself to buy whatever i want but it was nice. i guess it was a tradeoff with not really doing a whole lot other than that but it was great. apparently my 20th birthday was also build-a-bear workshops 20th birthday so when i went in i got a special anniversary bear and also he looks like me? named him storm 2? thats just how my life goes haha however these past few days have been rough. its kind of like... humorous at this point but in a really bittersweet and sad way. things just keep popping up literally every other day and im frankly sick of it but i cant really do much about it. we got back on the 21st and i got a migraine on the 22nd and 23rd and im working an 8 hour shift today on 3 hours of sleep so like. im not being as productive as i want to be and it kills me. anyways, in regards to COMMISSIONS: i'm doing the best i can to get things done! i have some sketches worked out, and it has taken me a long time and i cannot express how super sorry i am. as always please reach out to me if there's anything i can do, i'm aware that a journal may not be the best way to get in touch with people but i've tried to message everyone already with the situation! in regards to ARTFIGHT: i feel super super super super super bad because i got some really nice and wonderful attacks and i havent been well enough to work on my defenses. is it generally considered really rude to not get back to people in time??? i feel AWFUL about it but i might not be able to defend all of them )-: in regards to THANK YOUS + GIFTS (and my raffle winner!) i'm SO SO DANG SORRY but i just have to prioritize commissions first. i keep meaning to get to my thank yous as warm ups but i havent been in the mood to do much of anything as of late. i'm kind of doing things as i feel up to them and really want to get around to some of them soon, when i sit down to really work on commissions next thank you for your patience!!!!! ALSO other fun stuff i'm maybe gonna look into making some sort of physical merch? i haven't decided yet, maybe stickers but maybe pins or even patches. i'm super excited about the possibilities so if you have any ideas don't hesitate to hit me up. so far i've got: - dog stickers (duh!) - maybe a dog face patch? i'm thinking a symmetrical samoyed sort of thing - dog face pins - sticker sheets with environment stuff (ex, a tiger with s.asia flora + fauna) - silly little things with some of my ocs on them? that seems Kind Of pretentious but i love my ocs and if no one wanted them i could give them to my friends /__\ also ALSO i have been feeling like shit these past few days and not able to do any real work BUT i did like. a metric ton of adoptables. so keep an eye out because it's gonna be a Adoptables Party in like. circa a day or two. if you have any base ideas lemme know! i'd love to draw something with it. it's been super therapeutic to just color stuff. thanks for reading! sorry for this super super long update, i appreciate all of you SO SO much and it blows me away each time someone is nice to me. i have some of the nicest people following me i swear!!