#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[moonfurthetemmie]

are everyone sexualities the same or they r like in fatal flaws??

ALSO is there XChara??? ( IDK IF U ANSWERED THIS I can't seem to find it anywhere if someone asked before me )

I have few more but I forgot what ( I will ask when I do ( aka I thought that in the morning and rn it's around midnight JDUUDJD )

Yeah everyone’s the same I think

Delusion MIGHT be on the ace spectrum but he’s also too busy pretending to be being god to bother with that stuff, + his aura makes his emotions and shit weird so he’s not really thinking about people much in terms of ‘would I smooch/hold hands with/sleep with this person?’

Maybe if he spent some time with someone with his aura turned off (which he’d need quite a powerful magic suppressor for, and atm the only ones they have that are strong enough are in his apartment and the max security cells) he’d find out he is attracted to people

I say all that as an ace person btw. And also someone with bad memory hold on

@wheezethebluejay did we make him ace for sure or is the “official” answer just ‘I dunno maybe

Other than that, and an obligatory mention that Pluto is mostly gay but he does have some attraction to girls (tho Kai made that canon for Fatal Flaws too, if I remember right), everyone’s the same. Slash and Hunter are bi, Byte is pan, Gouge is abro. Etc

XChara I don’t think has been thought about once. In all fairness, tho, they barely exist in normal DS anymore, too. No idea where the kid is. They’re not really important, anyways

i haven’t watched Underverse in an age and a half but there’s a non-0 chance that they’re dead. like super duper dead. slash murderized them. Maybe. Idk! id have to rewatch Underverse

[castle-dominion]

c1x2 nanny mcdead

I remember this song.

Gal in a machine! Cool!

Police lawyer: Mr. Castle, these waivers are serious business. Perhaps you’d feel more comfortable by referring the matter to your attorney. RC: What, are you kidding? He’d never let me sign these. But, fortunately, it's his job is to get me out of trouble, and not to prevent me from getting into it.

Get to the point ryan. (btw I'm so glad to be watching these in reverse order, if I had gone from s3 finale to this episode I would have gotten whiplash.)

I love the banter w rysposito. JE: Now if that’s not a cautionary tale about poking through someone else’s laundry, I don’t know what is. KR: Dude, there is an etiquette involved. If the clothes were dry, Mrs. Rosenberg had every right to put them in a basket. Now, if you’re gonna tell me she folded them, then it gets a little creepy. JE: I'm sorry, someone starts rooting around my underwear without an invitation? I’m taking that as a serious breach of hygiene. KB: I thought you went commando, Esposito. (How does she know this...?) JE, tilting his head: Well, it's a seasonal thing. (& also less hygienic my dude. For someone worried about ppl poking thru ur undies u ought to be concenrned abt the hygiene of not wearing underwear.)

CASTLE Hard to say. When I'm writing a new character, there’s no telling when inspiration might strike.

BECKETT I thought I was your inspiration.

CASTLE Oh you are, Detective, and in so many ways.

BECKETT Yeah, well, then your inspiration might strike you sooner than you think.

(https://scriptline.livejournal.com/17581.html)

lol "just ny"

RC: Three men huddled around a computer. That better not be porn. And if it is, I want in. Is that a thing? Do men watch porn together? Isn't it kind of gay?

It's new york, there is no such thing as neighborship.

[Castle looks at Beckett. ]

CASTLE (CONT'D) We all know girls like that, don't we?

[Beckett rolls her eyes and sees the three, Esposito, even Captain Montgomery drawn in. And all of them looking at her. ]

Was 8b an actual person or was he just pulling a number out of thin air?

Hey. I cook, you clean. You cook, I clean.

AC: You were the crazy homeless woman. RC: And some might say, still are.

They actually wore Stuff when seeing the body this time!

I forgot Lanie was a fan, apparently he writes death well.

LP: But what I thought you might find really interesting is the fact that she had sex within the hours before her death. KB: Sex? RC: I’ll explain how that works later.

I mean he doesn't want to get an std from her too, but then again you're right about "smart guy" or whatever.

RC: ‘Cause no man likes getting dumped. Am I right? Our egos can’t handle it. *starts telling a story & then stops as soon as he sees beckett's face*

you shouldn't lie bro

Castle: seeming so cute & fatherly Castle the next second: manwhore

I miss being fit enough to play on the playground like that. I went on the monkey bars outside church the other day (yes I'm an adult).

lesbian flag lookin scarf

RC: We could always make it strip poker. Mystery to horror XD XD

Boy looks like he's on drugs. Girl tell them that bro! You made it sound like you were having an affair with sara & then u were offended when they made that assumption???

Ryan reading castle's books <3 beckett got him into it huh.

Wow castle just names a famous lesbian couple. Maybe that's why u think commitment is over. only love is queer.

Beckettt & her red scarf, ryan & his tie looking more like normal (tho tbh I might prefer the college-student look)

RYAN Guess who wasn’t where they said they were the day Sara Manning was killed? BECKETT Who? [Beckett reaches for the paper, but Ryan pulls it out of reach] RYAN Come on, you got to guess. [Ryan continues to dodge] BECKETT Ryan. Ryan. I’m not guessing. RYAN You’re a killjoy, you know that?

Probs smart of her to lie in front of her husband abt divorce there.

Alexis looking so cute like that. Why does he watch two at the same time? The stopping & starting of the elevator does not make sense with the timing.

seventy-seven ain't beyond the realm of possibility! Man acting sus af. So true Castle. Love the finger prints on the mirror. So not smooth Castle. K but where did castle get her number?

Castle's outfits today are not matching his style in future seasons, i dislike it but I like the variety.

If he was home all day, why did they hire a nanny? Was he really that busy or sleepy?

RM playing with a baseball <3

They said the next person on the elevator was the old lady changing her clothes! Inconsistency!

I like how they just go in there, 10/10. RC: Whoa! No! Come on! Come on! I already signed my life away. What more do you want? RC: Hope to die. WAIT NO Why she gotta take off her scarf like that

I love hearing ppl yell or whisper or speak softly.

Back to the laundry room eh? That's more of an end goal than a plan. Oof this scene was great for me. I'm going to have to tag this as mom no look bc hoo babey love me a good thigh bleed. Castle she said not to go in. Girl holster your gun, don't put it on the ground. Love the way her pants are shredded. B'y he's probably manipulating u. When did you see him look at her...? She would probably be using much faster slashes imo, but that depends on the goal. Raises the pinky finger all fancy like. The dryer...???? Where is ryan? Espt was told to get everyone up the stairs but where was ryan? Was he with the family upstairs?

Alexis <3 <3 I love alexis & castle, they are me & my mom in several ways, & sometimes role reversal too.

Nice fencing swords. awww that's such a cute pic!

[lizardthederp456]

sooooooo i found something out about japanese anime dedede from kirby right back at ya (ik thats the name of the dub but idc)

thx and shoutout to @ace-of-clovers for tellin me this

but u might not like what they said

im not saying theyre a bad person, cuz what they told me was good, and it was basically exposing something controversial, its just that it contains sensitive content

also idk how to put the read more thing on mobile posts so im just gonna say massive trigger warning

okey here we go

basically i found a post comparing the "virgin" anime dedede (the japanese one in particular) and the "chad" game dedede, and one of the reasons anime dedede was a virgin was because he was homophobic

ace/clover (which one do u wanna be called or do u not mind both?) clarified by saying that japanime dedede himself was a homophobic stereotype

the only example they wanted to give was in an episode where dedede wanted to break escargoons shell so he could see his body

and apparently thats an extremely offensive gay stereotype

ace of clovers recently told me the stereotype involves assault just as i was finishing typing this whole entire thing

but this was long before japan made it illegal to lgbt discriminate (i actually dont know if that was true or not about japan but i read it in an article)

still tho its disgusting and stupid that a character from a kids game made an anti lgbt joke in front of, well, kids

and the fact i havent seen ONE piece of japanese media that perfectly depicts lgbt people in a positive way pisses me off even tho they literally have a law that says u can no longer be like "haha gay people suck"

like srsly they need to step into the west a lil more

also speaking of the previous sentence i saw an article about some japanese twitter users roasting western artists for "censoring" anime characters and making them look "ugly" and they also criticized their art styles too

altho i think that actually happened a long while ago tho its still extremely disgraceful and not to mention racist

the lack of diversity, representation and inclusion in japanese media sickens me and honestly if i could id go back in time and beat the ever-living BALLS out of the person who had the "good" (sarcasm) idea to make a fan-favorite from a cheerful game-to-show homophobic and show it to a child audience

and altho it LOOKS like they said sorry with kirby fighters 2 making dedede and meta knight loyal friends, they repeatedly confirm that the two are NOT GAY, and that its just a platonic close relationship (but not to the point where theyre lovers, so technically the ship was sunk and nobody knew about it), so basically its a fake apology and, once again, a fart in the general direction of the west

soooooo ye thats it

but it dededisgusts me that some asshole behind hal labs said "hey lets make a character with a good redemption arc homophobic and put a homophobic joke in there that will hopefully teach kids that being gay will make u dumb and also only make the character do one good thing throughout the whole show and for the rest of it make him an asshole to everyone, especially children" and everyone else there actually agreed to that

im extremely sorry i posted this, and if i worded any of it uncomfortably or rudely, let me know and ill try to fix it

i 100% support lgbt and diversity and inclusion and all that stuff btw

[yukipri]

I wasn't sure if someone had asked before so I think I spent an hour searching through your blog cuz I didn't want to be obnoxious by asking a question you've answered before, I couldn't find anything, and I'm so sorry if you HAVE answered this before cuz I'm not trying to be obnoxious I'm so sorry. But my questions: Do you mainly ship ASL as a trio, or are you also cool with SabAce as a duo ship? Do you have and lesbian ships you like? Who's your favorite emperor [aside from Luffy cuz, I mean, duh]. What do you think Ace and Sabo's bounty's would be post timeskip where Ace DOESN'T, you know, die? And what are your thoughts on Dragon as a character as well as his relationship with Sabo and Luffy? [Mostly I was trying to think of interesting questions that might entertain you. I love you and your work and appreciate how open and genuinely nice you seem btw!]

Thanks so much for going through my blog! Honestly I don’t mind answering questions again, and if I remember that I’ve answered it recently, I’ll just redirect you to that answer! So it’s no biggie, don’t let that stress you out! (same goes to anyone else who may be concerned about the same thing!)

That being said, I do ask that questions that you might want more detailed answers for be sent in separate asks, as it makes it easier for me to link to the headcanons masterpost if I end up writing an essay, and makes it easier for me to find time to answer bits of questions I DO have answers for, while giving me time to take time answering others. I don’t at all mind a spam of like, a dozen separate asks! I won’t consider it spam at all, and will be flattered that you want to talk to me ^ ^ (in fact, I just updated my askbox thing to make this a lil more clear! It’s not a big deal, just you’re defs not the only person who’s done multiple questions per ask, and it’s just a bit more convenient for me ^ ^;)

That being said, all these are pretty short so I’ll try to give short answers to these too to keep them to this one post ^ ^;

Do you mainly ship ASL as a trio, or are you also cool with SabAce as a duo ship?

Romantically, I ship Ace and Sabo exclusively with Luffy. That being said, I ship Sabo and Ace platonically with each other just as hard as I ship them with Lu. I really feel they’re a well balanced trio who love each other equally. In fact, I’d say my preferred take of Ace + Sabo really pushes that platonic line, more Queer Platonic if anything. Patreon peeps have already seen what I mean by this, but non-Patreon peeps will begin to see that interaction more starting On the Courtship Part 9!

Do you have and lesbian ships you like?

I have several low-key ones, like I think Vivi x Nami’s cute, Shirahoshi x Mansherry etc. But the ones I’d say I actually ship are All the Gals x fem!Lu LOL (since Mermaid AU does contain Nami x Lu, Koala x Lu, and Vivi x Lu among its ships ^ ^; Idk, I don’t really ship them when Lu’s a guy bc most of these gals give me Gay Vibes, but when Lu’s a girl I DO ship them???)

Who's your favorite emperor [aside from Luffy cuz, I mean, duh].

Shanks and Whitebeard, surprise surprise LOL

What do you think Ace and Sabo's bounty's would be post timeskip where Ace DOESN'T, you know, die?

Depends on the specific circumstances that lead to Ace not dying, and exactly what he’s doing during and post timeskip (like in Mermaid AU, the government thinks that Ace is dead, and he’s sorta trying to keep his head down, so his bounty won’t have gone up, etc).

And what are your thoughts on Dragon as a character as well as his relationship with Sabo and Luffy?

Mixed feelings. I think he’s got the right things in mind at heart, and I’m glad someone’s trying to solve the root of the world’s problems by going directly for the World Government and Celestial Dragons. I think he clearly did a pretty great job raising Sabo, and has likely earned the respect of his followers.

I ALSO think he’s a fantastically SHITTY dad, for having Lu and then dumping him on GARP to raise, all the while doing things that he knows would put Luffy in the same situation as Ace, hated and hunted by the government for his heritage alone, which Luffy doesn’t even know about. Like, Roger at least has the excuse of being dead, but Dragon could have and should have done so much more for Lu. It’s lucky for him that he ended up with a kid who’s like the opposite of caring about daddy issues, but Lu could have very much turned into a 2nd Ace in terms of self-loathing if his personality was different. This’ll also be mentioned in Mermaid AU.

Hope those answer your questions! (and, also helps u see why it’s easier for me to get separate questions in separate asks ^ ^;)

Thank you so much for coming to talk to me!!

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

[ace-thinks]

Hi! So I think that I may be ace. The thing is that I never care a lot about sex and, honestly, I thought that people can't care THAT much about it and that they were faking it in order to be cooler or to fit. I've always feel a little repulsed by the idea, but I thought that it was something normal. 1/5

I had a couple and they wanted to have sex so I convinced myself that I have to do it. When that moment came I freezed and I freaked out, but I still doing it, and honestly, I feel extremely boring and discusting. 2/5 

Few months ago I discovered asexuality and started reading about it, about sexual attraction (which amazed me a lot btw like how can someone feel that way?? ), and about some stuff that ace folks experience and thought before realized they were ace, and all resonate so much to me 3/5 

But Im still not sure and I'm having a lot of anxiety about it haha and I dunno what to do. Like all that I have been doing for the past few months is watching YouTube videos about it, reading stuff about asexuality, imagine scenarios with random people that I see at the street, or just keep staring at them and try to guess if I'm experiencing attraction. 4/5 

Also in movies and books that seem cool and I guess that a part of me want something like that but the reality discust me. (Dunno how to explain myself haha) And I find people attractive and I can tell when someone is what society mean by hot but I don't feel like sexuality attracted to that. Do u have any advice? Or something that I can do to clear up my mind? I'm kinda scared that is internalised homophobia and I'm using ace as an excused (sorry for the English is not my first language) 5/5

Hi! No need to apologize - your English is great! First I want to say that everything you have described is super relatable and really common. Here’s my advice:

1) Stop thinking about it so much.

I know this is easier said than done, but try not to let this consume your life. I used “test myself” out in public too. It was exhausting and stressful and didn’t help me very much. In fact, I think it ended up making me more confused. It’s hard, but whenever you feel yourself starting to do that, try to distract yourself. Mentally switch gears to something else. For me, I would look away and start a random conversation with someone. Or if I was watching a million videos/taking a million online quizzes I would turn off my phone/computer and start doing something else entirely. I did that until I eventually started thinking about my identity less and less.

In my experience, I gained the most clarity once I stopped obsessing over trying to find answers. Thinking about one thing for too long can make everything feel jumbled in your head, but taking a step back might help you come to some helpful realizations about yourself.

2) Trust your gut. 

Internalized homophobia is powerful and hard to overcome, and unfortunately I can’t tell you whether or not that’s what you’re experiencing. A lot of people I’ve talked to who have dealt with internalized homophobia said that their fantasies and imagination helped them realize that they were actually gay. For a while I thought maybe that’s what I was dealing with (or internalized biphobia) but I realized that when I would try to fantasize about people it just didn’t work for me, regardless of their gender. That helped me realize that I wasn’t repressing anything - there just wasn’t any attraction there. 

You mentioned that sometimes the idea of sex sounds interesting but the reality disgusts you. That’s an important feeling. Things often seem nice in theory, but if the reality of it seems unpleasant then that’s what really matters. If you can’t get past that disgusted feeling even when you try to let your mind naturally wander, then you should listen to that feeling.

3) Go for it.

 A lot of us put way too much pressure on ourselves to “get our labels right.” We’re afraid of having to switch later on or realizing that we’ve perpetuated a harmful stereotype by using one label as a “stepping stone” to another one. We’re afraid that people will think we were just in a “phase” or that the identity that we claimed was fake all along. There’s just a lot of pressure. But here’s the thing:

There shouldn’t be. 

From everything that you said, it sounds like you’re really leaning towards the idea that you might be ace. Great! Try the label on. Don’t ask anymore questions for a while and just see how it feels to identify as ace. Don’t worry about if you’re “ace enough” or if you’re actually secretly gay or anything like that. Just let yourself be ace.

How does it feel? Does it feel natural? Does it feel like it just fits somehow? Cool! Then stick with it! Be asexual.

Labels are not supposed to predict the future. They’re supposed to describe the present. If right now, you feel like sex really isn't your thing then I don’t see why you shouldn’t identify as asexual if that’s what you want to do. Then maybe one day you’ll feel super attracted to someone and decide that you’re graysexual or demisexual or gay or pans or whatever. Cool! That’s totally fine.

Try not to choose a label based on what might happen. Think about what feels real to you right now. If right now, it feels the most accurate to call yourself asexual, then go for it.

___

Anyways this was a really long response but hopefully there’s some helpful stuff in there. If anyone else has any advice they want to add on, please feel free to do so!

Also you can always ask another question or DM me if you want!

[lgbt-plusultra]

What are your sexuality headcanons for the bnha characters? I live for your liveblogs btw

omg thank you, I haven't been doing them as often cause quarantine is getting to me but I def have a mini stockpile of caps I haven't commented on yet 😂

I don't have sexuality headcanons for every bnha character so if I don't name them, that just means that anything goes and I don't really "see" anything in particular

Bakugou - look either he's ace or gay. I just. Don't see him being attracted to a woman ever. I prolly over identify with how private he is as a person but hey

Deku - personally, when I first started watching, I really saw him as just an overly polite young gay man. Like, homie is easily flustered by everything and everyone and is too nice to outright turn someone down so like, everyone assumes he's straight. Now I see the bi headcanons a lil bit better although gay deku has a place in my heart 💕

Mina - bi 💙 bi 💜 bi ❤

Jirou - i feel like she, similar to Bakubabe, is a pretty private person & thus doesn't enjoy putting labels on it, but her crushing on both Kaminari & Yaoyarozu? Canon

Aoyama - this man is obviously written to be gay, so it probably doesn't need to be said, but 🌈✨🌈 -- also gonna plug iiyama here for a sec

Kaminari - I know you specifically said sexuality headcanons but something about nonbinary Kaminari warms my soul

Tokoyami - on a similar thread I do so love the idea of transman Chicken of Darkness 🌚

All Might / Toshinori - I'm just saying that I really don't think his relationship with Nighteye was strictly professional if u catch my drift 👀

Mineta / Hagakure / Mt. Lady - these are literally the only MHA characters that I struggle to see as anything other than straight

Mirio - my man's has charismatic, chaotic bi energy

Tamaki - gay

Neijere - she's a lesbian y'all (...the big 3 put the lgb in ya blt sandwich)

Those are basically all of my headcanons?? I don't really have anything for Kirishima/Uraraka/Todoroki in that I could be told anything about them and agree with it. Idk, they're just kinda hard to pin down!

[hollyhomburg]

i really need to vent ab something that happened recently and ur the sweetest person so i thought i could just send this ask real quick,, if u don’t wanna answer its fine!!

hat believes in hate...but my whole life i have been taught that being gay is a sin and i feel so bad? and guilty? but at the same time i feel happier with knowing that this is who i truly am! it’s just so disappointing to know that my parents think if someone is gay they should just not date? and be unhappy for the rest of their lives? god is important o me but at this point hiding my sexuality is just causing me pain and i don’t know if it’s truly worth it anymore... btw i literally love u and ur work and ur so pretty! and i love that ur comfortable with little space unlike a lot of people out there:) ALSO IM SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK THREE PARTS AND IF U READ THRU IT ALL THANK U SO MUCH

i think that alot of things about sexuality can be a little bit delicate especially when combined with religion. i think it would really benefit you to reach out to people who are lgbtq in communities like yours as i don’t have alot of experience in this, but i know that there are a lot of gay pastors out there and alot of online forums about queerness and faith. i can’t give you alot of advice on this, but what i can say is that the way you're feeling, is completely normal. from a purely scientific perspective- homosexuality (or even sexualities other than straight) has been documented in over 250 species.

 i don’t think you have to be unhappy for your whole life, and this might be bad to say, but it might be worth it to be closeted for a little while if you think coming out will cause you undue mental and familial stress and might result in the loss of some of your closest support system. alot of the time- online culture can make people feel like they have to do something like you need to come out to be apart of the community- but you don’t need to do that. 

the only one who can fully validate your identity is you- and you validate it by not running away from it like you have. i’ve never come out to my family (accept for once when i was like- a lil drunk and my grandmother started to be like- gayness is caused by GMO’s, and i straight up said, “gram, i’ve eaten organic for my whole life, and i’m still bisexual” this was back when i thought i was bisexual and not ace) but mostly i haven’t come out because the only persons whose feelings mater about my sexuality is my own.

 as long as you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, fuck what other people think, even if they’re your family. but if it’s going to make you sadder to go without saying anything. idk, maybe. i dont feel like im makeing any sense at all. 

I’ll try to keep being open about little space, god, today I got recommended baby toys on Instagram and they literally almost made me? squish so hard? like i just need this little baby stegosaur that’s pink like so so so bad. but maybe one day when I live alone- I’ll like, have a whole room of stuffed animals just for cuddling. 

[mxlxdroit]

i finished oathbringer!

yay! *confetti*

i can now unblock the oathbringer tag! woohoo!

it took me a month and a half to finish this book, all 1200-odd pages of it, and unfortunately, i’ve gotten a bit of book exhaustion. i enjoyed reading it, but it’s like reading a long trilogy of books in a very short amount of time, so i’m probably going to wait a while before tackling another cosmere book so i can get a breather and read some other stuff.

first off, i liked this book a lot! so much happened i’m not gonna go back and recap too many specific points right now, but there are a few things that i think were particularly important.

TL;DR oathbringer was good and had a lot of cute and funny stuff but it dragged a bit and got a bit too heavy for me a few times. i’m now shakadolin trash, Dalinar’s like fifty and he finally storming learned how to read, Lopen and his spren flipped off the Stormfather, and there are lots of good messages about agency and responsibility. oh, and lots of people stabbing each other

thematically, a lot of oathbringer is about choosing to take responsibility for your actions (or not. looking at you, Moash). this is most clear in Dalinar’s case, as his main character development is confronting the evil he did in his past, including killing his wife and burning thousands of people to death along with her. he has to admit what he did and take responsibility for it within himself in order to be able to resist Odium (speaking of which, What Is Up with Cultivation? i feel like i know so little about her. since Honor and Odium have spren and surges and all that jazz does Cultivation have them, too? D: i don’t know). Adolin has to admit to killing Sadeas, Venli has to realize that bringing back the Fused was a bad call, and the entire human race have to figure out what to do when they learn that they are the Voidbringers and invaded Roshar (i’m sure this is going to be a prominent theme in Stormlight 4, because it’s a huge deal and they barely talked about it). Not only do the characters have to confront their pasts and the truths there, however unpleasant, they have to decide what to do next. the story doesn’t end with a big reveal. life goes on, and they have to decide what steps to take and what future they want. the most important step a person can take is the next, if you will. in many ways, that is what the Ideals of the Radiants are for- life sucks, so what are you going to do to make it a little less terrible? and therein lies the connection between responsibility and agency. Moash’s internal dialogue about how nothing he regrets is his fault also means that none of the good things he’ve done belong to him. he gives up ownership over his life and himself and gives away his agency. he won’t be able to make meaningful decisions about his own life because he doesn’t want to anymore. Dalinar, on the other hand, accepts all of his past as his, including the good he has done, accepting his own agency over his actions and allowing himself to use his experiences to inform his decisions in the future.

on a kind of related point, honesty also leads to forgiveness. Shallan has to forgive herself for things that weren’t her fault and find a way to acknowledge the horrors of her past without letting them consume her. she isn’t all the way there- i don’t know if she’ll ever be able to be fully comfortable in herself, but i don’t doubt that she is going to continue getting better throughout the rest of the series. Kaladin has to forgive himself for not being able to save everyone, though he’s been figuring that out since book one, so it wasn’t a big part of his story in oathbringer. Teft comes to a kind of reconciliation with himself and is able to let himself start moving forward.

overall, it’s a “forgive, but don’t forget” kind of thing. don’t deny the bad stuff you’ve done or that has been done to you, don’t blind yourself to the truth, and act accordingly, but also don’t let your past hold you back or decide that you aren’t worthy of becoming a better person. it’s some important stuff

smaller-stuff-wise, uhhhhhhhh

-the scene in hearthstone was adorable i love Kaladin’s family and Kaladin being happy and getting to see his baby brother it was such a sweet part of the book

-Dalinar and Navani had the most dramatic wedding imaginable. they’re Kholins

-Shallan and Adolin! i’m so happy with how sanderson handled their whole pseudo-love-triangle thing (although this book turned me into shameless shakadolin trash (everyone has a crush on kaladin stormblessed 2kOathbringer) so that’s a thing and also since Veil isn’t gone i don’t think Shallan’s whole ‘wow Kaladin’s hot’ thing is gonna be totally gone) and their wedding was sweet

-Elhokar. wow. i didn’t see that one coming AT ALL and it’s really sad! i’m glad Gavinor’s okay though. a+++++ job to Skar and Drehy and Shallan’s guardsmen for remembering to keep him safe

-i love Wit. he’s fantastic. he’s obviously kind of an asshole but some of his scenes (the ones with Shallan and the epilogue) show that he can be very kind “Sadeas counts twice” yep pretty much. also we got two new names for him? and he bonded a Cryptic. this man

-Lopen flipping the Stormfather off... perfect

-Shallan recreating an entire play that she saw as a child... and doing it again later... i could imagine it so vividly and it was beautiful

-Kaladin’s suffering is just... never going to end. branderson just enjoys making him sad all the time and i resent that because he’s my favorite character in SA

-Venli is going to save the listeners and i’m so ready for it. it’s going to be a long, tough journey but i believe in her she’s so strong

-hmmmmmm interesting that branderson was like “HERE’S A GAY CHARACTER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” when a bunch of his characters are written (even if it’s an accident) to be Bisexual(tm)/Polysexual(tm)

-Lift and Szeth are a good team. i’m gonna draw him ice-skating at some point

-Adolin, Kaladin, AND Jasnah insulting Amaram... good... also Jasnah marrying Amaram is a terrible thought. both of them would be miserable even if Amaram wasn’t openly working for Odium. also is Jasnah supposed to be under the ace/aro umbrella or is she allo but not interested?

-people have been calling Jasnah a queen for ages and now look at what happened! long live queen Jasnah she is one of the most qualified leaders alethkar has ever had or will ever have

-i like Nightblood a lot. wanna destroy some evil today?

-Kaladin picking up a rock at the end of the battle :’)

-Rock firing a shardbow was surprising. i found the parts he narrated interesting because he knows a lot more than he lets on. i’m excited to see more from him in SA 4

-some of the heralds still think ishar is sane but he is NOT

-Moash straight-up stabbed a Herald! he takes the cake from Kelsier. punching gods is no longer enough

-sanderson is making Kaladin’s depression more explicit and i think he’s doing a good job. knowing that his parents are alive and safe helps, and being around people he loves helps, and having a purpose and path in life is really important for him, but his depression is still there, just like Teft’s addiction is still there, and Dalinar’s tendency towards alcoholism is still there, and Shallan’s tendency to repress trauma is still there. he still gets depressed during the Weepings and when he is forced to question the ideals that he has chosen to follow, and that’s very realistic, which is good

-DALINAR IS LEARNING TO READ! FINALLY

-and generally gender roles getting smashed is good. Lyn and Malata and Shallan and Jasnah and the other female Windrunner scouts all fighting and Dalinar learning to read and even little things like sanderson letting Kaladin cry over his baby brother were wonderful to read

-also everyone’s gotta stop making fun of Renarin for being a scholar and start paying attention to stuff instead

-Evi. Evi. Evi.

-Adolin and Shallan being the PDA couple of this series and disturbing the Good Alethis around them

my main criticism of oathbringer overall is that it was really heavy compared to the rest of the stormlight archive. the battle scenes were REALLY LONG and full of lots of main characters getting stabbed, and the philosophical weight of the decisions they all have to make is just getting heavier and heavier. there are definitely funny moments, especially in bridge four sections and a lot of the character interactions in non-conflict scenes. and every bird being a chicken. and the boots thing. how many pairs has kaladin lost now? anyways, almost every scene felt like it existed to serve a specific purpose and move the plot along, which is part of why i got book fatigue. there weren’t enough breathers, which usually isn’t an issue in sanderson’s pacing, so i’d assume that it won’t be a big issue going forwards? maybe it’s just me trying to leach as much meaning from every sentence as i can and if i just relaxed and enjoyed the book then it wouldn’t be so exhausting

also, this post (btw thanks op that’s a great summary) says that the stormlight archive (and i think by extension the cosmere as a whole) is anti-grimdark. while i mostly agree, i think some of the moral relativism and “you’ve been accidentally evil the entire time!”s in oathbringer have leaned it a little more towards (sometimes gratuitous (looking at u, mr. stormblessed, u, ms. lightweaver, and in this book, especially u, mr. dad kholin)) angst, which is another reason for the book fatigue. it’s not unnecessary, and it leads to character and plot development, but it got to be too much for me sometimes. then again, i’m a teenager and these books are written for adults, so maybe that’s a factor- moral relativism might be hitting a bit too close to home for me

ANYWAYS! i’ll probably write some more, smaller posts about OB but this is what i have for now! cfsbf, y’all

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Part 1 Bc I don’t want to make this a long ask, I’ll shorten it. Long story short I was talking with a few classmates and the topic of bisexuality came up. I told them I’m bi and they told me I’m going to hell but they didn’t care I was bi like 😑. But also one other girl told me she used to be attracted to girls but she “lost interest,”and now she’s “straight. “ this girl is friends with the same classmates who were telling me I’m going to hell so I’m assuming what she’s saying is bc of them

Part 2 X looked really confused and scared about what she was saying and when I told them all that it doesn’t work that way and I can’t just turn straight, one of the other girls said yes u can, I said no, and u can’t just wake up straight after one day saying ur not, and the girl got butthurt and she’s like well that happened to X ( the girl who told she she used to be attracted to girls) and she’s like r u trying to tell X her feelings. And I’m like no I’m just saying sexuality isn’t a choice

Part 3 Then X said she thought she was only attracted to girls bc she went to a small school and all the guys were ugly, but that was such a sure sign to me that she still is attracted to girls bc that comment was such a “ I’m brainwashed to think same sex attraction is wrong “ like I wanted to tell the girl that it was ok to be attracted to girls and she wasn’t just attracted to them bc she had few choices but I couldn’t bc the other girls were being so homophobic.

Sorry last part Is it possible to lose interest in a sex? Well yes to some extent your sexuality is fluid and can change at any time, right? But I’m pretty sure u can’t just one day wake up and declare that you’re no longer not straight !!!! Is it possible ( according to X) to lose interest in a gender completely like that and become straight?

Hey there,

I have just answered a similar ask so I hope you don’t mind me redirecting you to that. You can find it here.

The most essential part is this:

“Of course there are some bi people who won’t identify as that their entire lives. There’s previously-bi people who realise they’re actually gay/lesbian (the other way around happens as well btw). I think there’s few who “go back” to identifying as straight but of course that’s also possible, maybe due to trauma or for safety reasons - or because they really are back to straight. There’s a thing called abrosexuality which is if someone’s sexuality changes throughout their lives from completely different orientations to one another. For example they might feel gay for a while and then ace and then pan and then straight… so that is A Thing.”

Further you should remember that it’s not your place to argue that this girl isn’t straight. You’re in no position to negate her self-identification. She might actually have realised she’s straight after having done some experimenting or she’s saying she’s straight because he needs to stay safe that way. Of course it’s shitty of your classmates to say “she was only into girls because the guys were ugly” or to claim that everyone has the ability to turn back to straight. That’s all wrong and queerphobic and you have any right to argue that just because some people go back to being straight doesn’t mean everyone does. But don’t use that girl for your argument because she might very well need to use the straight label to be safe.

Maddie

[ladyloveandjustice]

The Great Ace Attorney Replay: Dual Destinies Case 3, Part 2

presenting stuff to apollo. He's so enthusiastic

APOLLO SEE MY BADGE

Apollo: "Oh nice! Your attorney's badge! That's the first thing you want to present when you meet someone new! I heard that's what all lawyers do!

Athena: "You heard that. from whom?"

Apollo: Who else, Mr. Wright.

(Phoenix is the best teacher)

Apollo: JUST REMEMBER YOUR BADGE COMES FIRST! SEE ATHENA CHECK IT OUT IT'S MY ATTORNEY'S BADGE

apollo it looks exactly the same she doesn't need to see yours

presenting random evidence

Apollo: Yes! Nice one Athena! Keep it up!

(he so supportive)

Apollo: I don't care if it's totally unrelated to the case or just plain annoying or even embarrassing! Just keep presenting evidence without any regard for others!

(Apollo is also a fantastic mentor)

Apollo: That's the first step to becoming a successful trial lawyer!

Apollo you've done like five cases

Athena: Leave it to me! I'll present one piece of evidence after another!

we sure will bb

it's weird seeing Apollo as a character I can talk to outside of court.

Phoenix too

but i guess that actually happened in Apollo Justice too

 but he was a hobo then so it felt different

Athena has a best friend she is gay for who is acting weirdly cold and withdrawn now that they've reunited in adulthood and Athena has to save her.that might be a requirement for being a defense attorney

Apollo: Juniper seems popular with the guys

Athena: Of course she is! She's pretty and she has a caring and sweet personality!

guess who's a lesbian it's Athena she's a lesbian lawyer

not just the guys juniper's popular with Apollo.

luci; haha sounsd amazing

Me: 

 Apollo: Okay Athena take it down a notch or else you might be dead by tomorrow.

Athena: HE WANTS ME TO CALM DOWN? AT A TIME LIKE THIS? JUNIE'S FATE RESTS IN MY HANDS I JUST HAVE TO WIN THIS ONE!

they have cute nicknames for each other btw

luci: essential

Me: t's Athena = Thena and Juniper= Junie in the English version and Athena was super sad when Junie wasn't using it. BUT THEN SHE DID and Athena was happy.

I wonder what they were in Japanese I'm gonna look it up

Kokone = Koko-chan for Athena

oh and Athena just calls Juniper by her first name with no honorific I guess. (It's Shinobu)

Athena's basically like "so my childhood friend/crush was hauled away to prison so i just totally had to defend her sorry i didn't tell u first" and Phoenix is like "it's cool i've been there”

luci: whys she need to tell phoenix

Me: he's her boss, technically

also Apollo's

luci: ah ic

Me: haha omg

Athena: "Were you involved in extracurricular activities like school papers and mock trials"?

Phoenix: "Nah, that wasn't my thing. I was an art major"

Athena: "An art major? Then how did you become a famous attorney?"

Phoenix: It's kind of complicated. And when I say, kind of I mean really,,,really...complicated.

Athena: Oh... (He must really mean it. I'm picking up a lot of complex emotions in his voice)

Phoenix it's not that complicated u were in love with Miles Edgeworth and decided to save him with the power of love

athena gets it it just happened to her

~complex emotions~

luci: haha

Me: The murder took place in the art room. Phoenix just confessed to being an art major. I KNOW WHO MY PRIME SUSPECT IS NOW

ADMIT YOUR GUILT PHOENIX

luci: probably enough for the judge to convict

[pluckyredhead]

Daredevil 101: Last Rites

Last time on Daredevil 101, Matt returned to New York, regained his memory and as much of his mental health as he ever has, and reconciled with Foggy. Now he turns his attention to the next big item on his agenda: taking down the Kingpin once and for all. Also, Nocenti is gone and our new creative team is D.G. Chichester, who is honestly all over the place in terms of writing, and Lee Weeks, who is pretty good but was slightly “A girl??? Reading comics??? My word!” to me at NYCC a couple years back so meh.

CONTENT WARNING: Dubcon and...fraudulent mental health practices, I guess is the best way to describe it? And Matt is the perpetrator of both. Seriously, it’s disturbing.

Anyway, Nelson & Murdock isn’t quite back in business yet, but Matt and Foggy are working hard on getting Matt’s license back:

I cannot explain why Foggy looks weirdly sinister in that first panel OR why Matt is wearing a turtleneck, but I do like seeing him with a cross. This might be the first time we’ve seen him wear one.

Meanwhile, Fisk has decided to add a more legitimate revenue stream to his criminal empire and build a media conglomerate. One of his major investors is a group from Texas, represented by a ridiculous cowboy stereotype named Strang:

Uh oh, looks like Strang is more than just a rural stooge!

Fisk’s broadcast empire, btw, is basically Fox News - all inflammatory conservative talking heads stoking racial prejudice. This comic is 25 years old but not much has changed outside of car phone technology.

Meanwhile basically all Typhoid does these days is perch on Fisk’s desk sexily, which is an infuriating comedown for a villain who nearly destroyed Matt on her own, and I don’t even like Typhoid.

Oh, and Frank shows up for a bit with his rad 90s sweatband (YES):

guys that’s really gay

More importantly, Matt manages to track down Karen, who now has a job...well, it’s not clear if she works for a nonprofit or what, but whatever she does, it’s dedicated to taking down the porn industry:

(I should note here that while there are feminist arguments in favor of porn, Karen is responding to the porn industry of a quarter century ago and one that she was coerced into thanks to her dependency on drugs. She’s not trying to shut down indie feminist porn but the creepy trench coat peep show stuff of the 80s and 90s.)

Anyway Matt goes on about how Mary meant nothing to him, nothing - and also did Karen cut her hair, he can’t hear it moving around her shoulders and he always liked it...? At which point Karen absolutely lets him have it:

Karen is by no means ready to forgive Matt, but she agrees to slowly - slowly - start socializing platonically with him again.

Meanwhile, Matt launches his grand plan: trolling the Kingpin into madness. No, seriously:

Matt needles Fisk a bunch, then pulls out a picture of Vanessa that he somehow magically knows Fisk keeps in his desk drawer and gives it to him to remind him of how far he’s fallen:

How did Matt know what that was a picture of? It could have been the picture that came with the frame. It could have been a picture of a butt. “REMEMBER THIS BUTT, WILSON.”

In between moves in this very silly game of chess, Matt more takes tentative steps towards reconciliation with Karen:

I love Karen’s jacket and her short haircut and her not having any of Matt’s bullshit, I love it all so much. Karen!

Meanwhile, he and Foggy are still working on that license:

1. Foggy needs better self esteem. YOU ARE JUST AS GOOD A LAWYER AS MATT, BABY.

2. Matt affectionately full-naming Foggy is everything.

3. This is how they relax. WHAT A PAIR OF NERDS.

4. Right, so here’s the kicker: Matt knows that if he wants to take out Fisk, he needs to take out his support systems first - and one of Fisk’s biggest supports right now is Typhoid. So he’s laying the groundwork here to do just that, in possibly the most fucked up way possible, and using an unwitting Foggy to do so. MATT NO.

With his paperwork all planned out, he confronts Typhoid, more aggressively than he’s ever done before:

Yeah, so this is all really explicit: Matt is domming here instead of subbing, and Typhoid’s completely thrown by it. Like, the BDSM aspect wasn’t subtle in the Nocenti run, but it’s completely textual now.

Eventually Typhoid goes with it, and we fade to black, and cut to...

Yeah, so apparently their lovemaking was so tender or whatever that Typhoid turned back into Mary in the middle of it, which means she doesn’t have her powers at the moment. Because men domming is romantic and women domming is kinky and evil, I don’t fucking know. This is gross, and coercive, and makes my skin crawl.

But Matt didn’t just do this to get a happy, no; he has also forged papers that show grounds for forcibly committing Mary, and snuck them onto the desks of several mental health and law enforcement types, so that Mary wakes up to a nightmare scenario:

A sobbing Mary is forced into a straightjacket and, well, that’s about all we see of her for a good few years.

I just. This is so upsetting on a number of levels:

1. The female villain is undone by sex, of course.

2. Matt basically uses aggressive sex to defeat a villain - and since Mary is a separate personality who is unaware of Typhoid, she never consented to this.

3. Obviously Mary is not well and should be given medical care and prevented from harming others, but FORGING HER PAPERS AND HAVING STRANGERS BREAK INTO HER APARTMENT AND FORCE HER INTO A STRAIGHTJACKET WHILE SHE’S NAKED???

4. He’s straight up trying to date Karen in the middle of all of this.

5. I’m still mad that he made Foggy an unwitting, nonconsensual party to this.

At least (?) Matt’s pretty devastated by the choices he felt he had to make:

(I think that’s supposed to be vomit on the floor, not pee.)

Back to Fisk! Well, back to Strang, actually, who turns out to be not what he seemed:

Yeah, so Strang is Hydra. And I gotta say, reading about a bunch of Texas millionaires who are secretly Nazis using a corrupt New York City businessman to gain power and manipulate the media with an incendiary right wing platform was really, really unsettling in 2017.

There’s a lot of malarkey in here with Nick Fury and SHIELD, but basically Fury knows about Hydra’s involvement in Fisk’s enterprises but his hands are tied, so he leaks it to Matt to let Daredevil do his dirty work. Matt knows he’s being used but he wants to take Fisk down, so he brings his information to a federal prosecutor, since local law enforcement and politics are paid off by Fisk:

Daredevil starts spreading the word on the street that Fisk is being manipulated by Hydra. This weakens Fisk’s reputation, but also exposes Hydra, who decide to attack Fisk straight out. And while Fisk has big meaty hands and a lot of lackeys, Hydra has, like, helicopters and shit:

Fisk’s office is still in ruins when the federal prosecutor comes after him:

And Fisk is dragged into a lengthy trial exposing not just his dealings with Hydra, but all of his criminal activity, despite his insisting that he’s a legitimate businessman. Matt cranks up the trolling, sensing that Fisk is on the verge of a rage-breakdown:

MATT U TROLL

But Fisk has an ace in the hole, because of course he does. I kind of glossed over this when I covered Born Again, but at one point Fisk attempted to kill Matt by knocking him out and placing him in a cab which he then had thrown in the river to make it look like Matt had gone on a blind joy ride that ended badly. Well, the cab driver in question was in the trunk of that cab, and Fisk made sure to have a nice solid frame for Matt’s involvement in his death, too:

Fisk had the billy club with Matt’s fingerprints and the cabbie’s blood stored away in a locker at Port Authority (the city’s main bus terminal), and he goes to pick it up - but Matt already knows about this bit of “evidence,” and he’s ready to confront Fisk:

They fight. It doesn’t go well for Fisk:

The fight rages all over Port Authority (which looks much the same 25 years later, funnily enough), but finally Fisk breaks, mentally and physically, and Matt gets something like a catharsis:

Fisk manages to scurry away and basically goes feral for a while, slowly gaining power among the street people of New York (yes, really). Matt gets his license back, a favor to Daredevil from the federal prosecutor, and Nelson & Murdock is reborn.

...Aaand a few issues later he’ll have a nervous breakdown and fake his death again, but hey. It was nice while it lasted!

[kelvintimeline]

u said ace is a modifier im attracted to nobody im literally aroace and agender what the fuck is it modifying??? ur not the only one that gets to define asexuality??? there are other experiences that u arent taking into account and its really tiresome tbh and how come the ace community gets judged by the actions of a few when people r literally always saying that u shouldnt do that. im sick of being less real.

Listen, sexuality orientations are defined by WHO you are attracted to, not whether or not you are sexually/romantically attracted to them. You’re right, I don’t get to define that and neither do you. Neither of us get to define that. That’s how sexual orientation has been defined since the very conceptualization of sexual orientation (which is more recent than you’d probably think).

Aroace would be an orientation as it flat out means “attracted to no one.” But asexual and aromantic on their own?? Don’t say that. Cishet aces are attracted to the ‘opposite gender.” Gay aros are still attracted to the same gender. Asexual and aromantic, on their own, don’t define who someone is attracted to, they just modify it. A gay ace is a gay person who happens to not experience sexual attraction. Same for straight aces.

You can’t have multiple sexual orientations. It... doesn’t work like that.

Me saying “this identifying label you might use isn’t an orientation but does properly explain your personal experience” doesn’t imply you aren’t real or valid. If someone said their sexual orientation is polyamorous, I’d correct hem on that too. “Sexual orientation is not how many people you are attracted to, it’s which genders you are attracted to.” Are they still valid and real polyamorous people? Sure! But their orientations are still straight, bi, aroace, whatever.

And, like, BIG offense meant but it’s NOT just a few aces being nasty? Like, homophobia and serophobia in particular are HUGE issues in the ace community. And right now a big issue in teh ace discourse is how many “inclusionist” ace blogs are also pedophile apologists? Like, there’s a lot of deeply ingrained problems in the ace community. I’ve been on AVEN, I know how gross it is.

It’s why I dropped the label ace (which, btw, when I identified as ace, ace meant aroace?? Like it meant attracted to NO ONE. It was pre-split attraction model).