#that totally makes sense and is understandable

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I was given oral herpes by someone who didn't feel the need to disclose that they got cold sores before we had a one-time little dalliance.

I might've gone for it anyways. I'm self destructive. But I guess the lack of being able to choose whether to take the risk, it's left me feeling pretty bitter about the experience.

And I'm left feeling like a biohazard. I haven't really been able to explain to my friends yet why I'm suddenly extremely cagey about sharing my drinks and food. And all my favorite sexual activities are off the table forever. I know, dental dams, condoms, but half the fun of oral sex and making out is, you know, the taste, the heat, the absolute control. I was good at it.

It feels especially embarrassing since I'm ace and the whole reason I hooked up with the person was kind of... I don't know, fear that if I didn't, then we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore.

I'm not sure what I'm asking. Maybe, was it wrong for them not to disclose something like that? Considering how common it is? I feel obligated to disclose myself but maybe I'm just weird for that.

Thanks for doing what you do here.

Kind regards,

Asexual for Ethical Reasons Now I Guess

hi anon,

I don't often apologize for needing time to get to anons, because I really need people to have reasonable expectations about the amount of time I'm willing to commit to my inbox, but I am sorry for not getting to this one sooner. it's a topic that's very important to me, and I can tell you're dealing with a lot of hurt.

first off: I'm very sorry someone wasn't totally honest with you. that's never a good feeling, and especially in the context of sex it's a huge betrayal of trust. it's deeply unfair to you, and I hope you're able to recover from that.

having said that: you are not a biohazard. you're a person with an incredibly common virus. the World Health Organization estimates that somewhere around 80% of people worldwide have herpes (and that's a rough estimate, since they use different age ranges for HSV-1 and HSV-2). skip to the factual part of this tiktok at 00:10 seconds. herpes has been with us since before we were human; there's nothing disgusting or even unusual about having herpes.

herpes is different from most STIs in that it is lifelong, but that doesn't make you an unfuckable pariah. it makes you someone who may sometimes have open sores, and should give partners a heads up about your virus to avoid putting anyone in the same situation you're in. while you're at it, let them know that most people with herpes live asymptomatic and uncomplicated lives. many people never even know they have it!

I understand that spending the rest of your life with a viral buddy doesn't sound super fun right now, but I promise that as viruses go you can do WAY worse.

personally I've always felt the best way to get comfortable with something is to learn more about it. why not let clinical sexologist Dr. Doe talk to you about her own herpes, and how to be conscientious about minimizing the risk of sharing herpes with others?

or listen to writer Ella Dawson talk about learning to cope with the exact stigma you're currently struggling with?

or listen to Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy explain why herpes bears such a heavy stigma for such a mild virus in the first place?

you're not a biohazard, and neither is anyone else with an STI. that's a terrible way to think about yourself and others.

you're under no obligation to stop being sexually active if you don't want to be.

please don't feel that you have to have sex with anyone out of a sense of obligation anymore, but also please don't feel that herpes is a punishment. sickness isn't something that happens to people because they're bad or deserve, sickness happens to people because people get sick.

take care 💜

[daenysx]

using the safeword with aemond targaryen pls !!!!! 🤍

going back to my aemond era because apparently ewan mitchell will not stop bewitching the fandom! if you have any requests for aemond you can send them my way!! ♡

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, nsfw

aemond presses his hips against yours for countless times. he stays behind you with your knees on bed and one of his hands on your lower back as the other one holds your wrists. he moves again, hits a deeply sweet spot and you make a crying sound.

your face is buried to the pillow with tear stains on your cheeks because everything feels too good. aemond keeps moving, you feel on edge every second like your body is on fire. you are desperate when you push yourself back to him, your legs are close to give up.

"please." you say against the pillow. "aemond, please."

his body is covered with a delicious layer of sweat, his naked torso on display. you can see him if you turn your head enough. he presses on your back as he moves his cock against you, wet noises fill the air. aemond groans, tilts his head back to reveal his pretty neck. if only you could give him a kiss right now. you moan his name again but he doesn't hear.

"so good." he says. "so good, do you hear that?"

the praise sends a warmth to your stomach, your legs are shaking but he keeps you still. you can feel a teardrop falling on the fabric of the pillow. your brain goes numb, there's only him and his sounds, his scent and his praises. "yes- yes, such a good girl. push yourself against me one more time."

you try to do as he says, it doesn't feel like you succeed though. "aemond-"

"one more- give me one more."

"yes, you can." he says, breathless. "my good girl never disappoints me, does she? of course you can."

"i can't." you whine, a sound mixed with moaning.

you feel your breath getting stuck in your throat and suddenly your legs give up. you can sense a liquid dripping down your thighs but it doesn't feel like a relief. the words get caught on your mouth, you panic as you try to hold aemond's hand. "red- red."

everything stops. you don't even realize it's because of the word you say. you can't even look at aemond, a spark of embarrassment flashes on your cheeks, your heartbeat goes insane. he leans in slowly, still deep inside you. he's careful as he fixes your hair on one side to see your face.

"it's okay." he says, gently. "i'm gonna pull out now, okay?"

you manage to give him a nod and a whimper when he pulls himself back. it's the feeling of emptiness you hate the most, he's still hard and he carefully leaves the bed to wear his boxers.

you tear up again, can't help yourself. it's a rush of emotions, you don't know how to deal with them all. you feel desperate, just laying on bed naked and speechless.

aemond comes to your side, sitting on bed. he puts a slow hand on your cheek to dry your tears. he has an understanding look on his face, his hair messed up and skin sweaty from sex. you can see the outline of his cock from the thin fabric, he doesn't wear anything else.

"i'm-" you start, your voice sounds scratchy. "i'm sorry, i just-"

"don't finish that sentence." he says, his thumb rubbing your cheek. "you did the right thing."

you force yourself to turn on bed, facing him properly. you are naked too, and a bit cold but it's okay. "i didn't want to disappoint you." you say with a low voice.

"you could never disappoint me." he says, even softer this time. "i'm so proud of you."

"you are?"

"of course i am, sweetheart." he leans in to kiss your forehead. "you did the right thing. if one of us doesn't feel good there's no point of having sex."

"i was feeling good." you say, holding his hand like an anchor. "it was a bit much and- it didn't feel right."

"it's okay." he says. "it's totally okay."

you try to sit, aemond helps you. he pulls you to his lap to give you the cuddles you want, his long arms holding your body still. you press your nose against his neck, feeling calm as he rubs your back and squeezes your body in his arms. the pressure makes you feel safe, it's not like the one you felt moments ago when he was on top of you. this time you sit on his lap, you have the control. aemond kisses the side of your head, keeps repeating that everything's fine.

"let's clean you up." he says. "i'll fill the tub, is that okay?"

he is panicked too, you realize, afraid he hurt you. he manages to fix the situation for both of you, though, offering any comfort he can provide.

"yes, but-" you say, holding him and keeping him closer than he already is. "you'll get in with me, right?"

he kisses your forehead. "i will."

[ghouly-boiiiii]

Does Max give anyone else major twist villain vibes???

Okay I haven't talked about Max much yet, but I think it's really funny to see people talking about him like he's just this sweet innocent cinnamon roll when my read on his character was the COMPLETE opposite.

I mean yes, he seems very sweet. He's very soft spoken. Naive in a way like Lucy, but not as much. Kinda vulnerable. Got a killer smile. And some of the moments with him and Lucy are pretty adorable. But damn if he doesn't have a DARK side!

Like I've heard people say that Max is stupid or that Aaron Moten's acting is bad, but hell no. Aaron Moten sold me on his acting during the interrogation scene. Max was scared shitless and I FELT that. I think Max was meant to be played as a character who lacks understanding about certain things and seems disconnected from people due to both being brought up in basically a cult and having an inherent lack of empathy.

You think about the fact that he admitted he wanted Dane to get hurt, someone who's supposed to be his best friend. How he coldly sat there and watched Titus die. And before that stood there and watched him get mauled by a bear, almost like he was fascinated by it and wanted to see what was gonna happen. The fact that he tried to kill Thaddeus the moment he became a threat, even though the two of them had appeared to have bonded and developed a genuine friendship. And let's not forget he was willing to let all of Vault 4 get plunged into darkness just so he could keep playing with his power armor.

Max wants to be a knight, he wants to be a hero. And I think he tells himself he wants it for the right reasons, but I think what he REALLY wants is power and recognition. Which is really what every (okay maybe not every, but a lot) good villain wants, right? Because at the end of the day Max wants what Max wants. He's selfish, even though he doesn't think he is.

And sure, he's nice to Lucy. And he went balls to the wall to save her when he thought Vault 4 was gonna execute her. But she's a pretty girl who helped him and offered him a safe home. When she gave him the proposition that if she helped him bring back the head, he would have the Brotherhood lend her some knights to save her dad, he KNEW he couldn't make that promise. But he made the deal anyway. So he doesn't REALLY care about her or what she wants.

And that blank stare he gets when he gets mad? ACTUALLY terrifying. The guy's got serious psychopath vibes. Literal anti-social personality disorder, if you ask me. In fact the first thing I thought about when Max let Titus die is this kids going to end up going to the dark side lol.

And I think that would work really well thematically if they plan on giving The Ghoul a redemption arc beside it. There are so many parallels between Lucy and The Ghoul, and they have such a strong connection to the beginning when the bombs dropped. I get that Max is there to represent the Brotherhood and he's from Shady Sands, the town Hank destroyed, but it felt weird that he didn't seem to be AS important in the grand scheme of things compared to Cooper and Lucy.

But if Max turned out to be a badass twist villain to thematically contrast Cooper's redemption arc, while Lucy remains steadfast to her commitment to goodness and the golden rule I feel like that would really round it out. It would make sense if you consider a lot of people have pointed out that Lucy, Cooper and Max all seem to represent different play styles and different moral alignments. And I think it'd be pretty crazy if the writers of the show set out to make it seem like Ghoul is a bad guy and Max is a good guy, but then it ended up being the opposite.

I mean, there are definitely hints all over the show that The Ghoul isn't as bad as he may seem. And Max has already done some pretty messed up stuff, so I'd say the possibility is totally there, and I'd be here for it!

Who's with me???

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[cripplecharacters]

In general, how would you approach writing nonhuman/feral characters with disabilities? How would you balance the symptoms animals usually show vs human symptoms, experiences and available accomodations?

I'm considering giving my Warrior Cats character with TBI-induced blindness (yes, I know, these books are awful about disability rep and yet I can't help but get attached) a guide animal of some sort, but... in real life blind cats can get by just fine using their whiskers, and though realism isn't a concern here, I'm worried that'll come across as nonsensical. However, I'm personally uncomfortable with writing yet another blind character that doesn't need mobility aids despite not being able to distinguish objects from one another "properly". He may not be totally blind, but I feel like I'd be contributing to the misconceptions surrounding my own condition that way. Thoughts?

Thank you for your ask! In real life animals, including cats, have been known to assign themselves as a guide for a blind packmate, usually walking on the side with less vision to help with navigation. Sometimes an animal of another species will act as a guide, but only if they’re bonded. This also occurs more often in domesticated animals, so if you don’t want the guide to be another cat you could do something like a dog, chicken or rat (though I’d imagine the last two would be hard to keep in a cat pack!).

You could also have your character able to move around unassisted in familiar areas that he is often in, but need assistance in unfamiliar areas.

As for writing your character, I’d say research how his injury affects his other senses. Touch, smell, hearing and limb movement can be affected by a traumatic brain injury, and it would definitely affect your character's ability to get around.

As of now, this blog unfortunately doesn’t have any blind mods (applications are still open as of posting this). However, you can check out other blogs for more information on blindness, such as BlindBeta, AskABlindPerson, and Mimzy-Writing-Online.

Have a lovely day!

Mod Rot

Hi!

When talking about TBI induced blindness, you have to keep in mind that it's different from ocular blindness. The brain-based type of blindness is called CVI, or Cortical Visual Impairment, and it's very common!

(Note: I have done a lot of research on CVI, but I don't have it myself. I heavily encourage you to check the blogs that Rot mentioned!)

A CVI will often have different symptoms than ocular blindness. For example, the character's field of view could be severely limited - the left (or right, or top, or bottom...) half of their vision could be non-existent, and the other half could be what is sometimes described as "incomprehensible". It could also present in infinitely different ways from that, as it can be very diverse!

CVI is often fluid and the person (or cat) can function very differently depending on the circumstances like fatigue or stress or even the weather. If he's having a horrible day he will be able to understand the visual input less than when he's doing fantastic.

With CVI, it's important to remember that visual acuity generally won't be the main problem, but the brain's comprehension of the image is. This is where cat-available accommodations can hopefully come in.

Showing him experiencing visual fatigue and how he deals with it could be one of them! During his kitty activities he could prefer to have them spaced out so that he only sees one at a time and makes it easier for his brain to comprehend without tiring him out. A cluttered environment would probably only make it worse, so you can have him make sure that everything is nice and in its place. He could also take longer to recognize new objects or cats.

If he has, for example, very limited field of vision, then he could have his kitty house (I don't know how warrior cats work I'm trying my best here) arranged so that it would work for him; i.e. everything being on a specific height.

I also very much agree with Rot that he should have more symptoms than just blindness! One example of a brain-based cat disability could be cerebellar hypoplasia; it can't be caused by a TBI, but it causes ataxia which can be a result of a TBI (mildly complicated, sorry). Either way you can use it as a reference to visualize how your character could move!

I hope this helps! I really appreciate the effort of trying to include disability accommodations in a character who's a forest cat.

mod Sasza

[allyricas]

it's golden like daylight

eddie and steve who are like stupidly in love, but a misunderstanding leads to a devastating breakup. no staying awkward friends, no wishing each other the best. nope, they are hurting and want nothing to do with the other. they don't communicate and it takes others getting involved for things to finally work out. it's months of angst before the daylight finally breaks.

I once believe love would be burning red But it's golden Like daylight, like daylight Like daylight, like daylight I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I can never look away I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you Things will never be the same

steve who hears eddie telling wayne that things with steve are fun, just a fling. it's nothing serious, uncle wayne. i mean, it's steve harrington, how serious could it really be? wayne is a taciturn, quiet man and just shakes his head at eddie's foolishness. he knows his nephew is in love, but afraid. neither of them realize steve overheard. steve doesn't understand that eddie didn't mean 'it's steve harrington' as a slight against him, but rather, against eddie himself. it's steve harrington, how serious could he be about eddie munson? it's meant to be self-deprecating and vicious only to himself.

the word nothing repeats in steve's head for weeks. he pulls away from eddie, but tries to pretend nothing is wrong. as much as it hurts, he loves eddie and doesn't want to lose him. he knows he's running hot and cold, but he's trying to hold it together. they're relationship was a secret to nearly everyone. only robin knew and eddie's best friend jeff knew. and his uncle knew since steve nearly lived in the trailer.

he can't start acting weird around eddie without alerting the entire party that something is wrong. it hurts knowing eddie think he's nothing serious. that he's still king steve to eddie, that all the soft, romantic moments meant something very different to steve.

a few weeks of steve acting strange has eddie panicking. he thinks all of his fears are coming true, so he gets mean after steve sits on the other side of the couch, barely looking his way. he decides to confront him. says how he knew king steve would do this, that it was all just an experiment, bullshit even. how he should have known.

and steve hears that word from someone he loves again and it breaks him. he lets his old self out to handle things. steve goes cold and totally emotionless. he's unaffected, untouchable and this is nothing, bullshit and he won't cry in front of eddie. make them think you don't care he thinks to himself.

he rolls his eyes, scoffs and tells eddie's it's over. tells him to throw his shit out, to lose his number, that he's had his fun, and the fling is over. and he walks out of the trailer without looking back. the minute forest hills is out of sight, the mask drops and he falls apart. he has to pull over so he can sob until he can't breathe. he's not sure how long he stays parked in the dark, crying over the fact that he lost eddie. that after everything they went through, apparently eddie never really saw him and never actually loved him. steve figures the only thing he can do is pretend he's fine.

eddie is broken. he is so shocked by the way steve left, laughed at him when he broke things off that he can't even cry until his uncle comes home in the morning. he wanted to fight about it. wanted steve to fight for him and instead, his worst fear came true.

seeing his uncle's concerned face is all it takes for him to finally break down. he cries and tries explaining what happened. wayne so much as tells him that none of it makes a lick of sense because that boy is head over heels for you son. eddie is heartbroken, totally unaware that his cruel words are the catalyst to the whole breakup. even when steve throws the words right back to him, eddie never makes the connection.

eddie doesn't handle it well. he's visibly falling apart during campaigns, stops going to band practice. loses weight he really couldn't afford to lose. steve seems fine. he's carrying on as if they were never even together. it hurts so badly to see steve carry on as if they weren't together and hadn't just broken up. the only person who knows all the painful details is robin because steve is convinced that no one needs to know, that it would out eddie. she occasionally glares eddie's way, but stays out of it at steve's insistence.

privately, steve is truly a mess. he's cried more over the last few months more than he has in his entire life. he tries to be there for the kids, to put on a happy face so no one knows just how badly eddie hurt him, but he feels the way the kids stare at him. he feels their concern so he just tries to fake it better. he tries to go out on dates, but none of them mean a thing. he can't touch them or kiss them without wishing it was eddie. he throws up the first time he tries to kiss a girl outside her apartment. it's wrong, it's not eddie and he only wanted to kiss him.

steve sees the way eddie is wasting away. the kids tell him about how eddie's depressed, quit his band and doesn't bother with the campaigns he wrote. it infuriates steve because how dare eddie act like he's the heartbroken one. eddie is the one who didn't want steve, couldn't reciprocate the love steve felt. he heard him so much as tell uncle wayne that it was nothing. that they were an experiment, that eddie always viewed him as the shitty high school jock he couldn't seem to escape. it just made steve bitchier towards eddie, because how dare he?! he ignores the worried voice in his head that wants to go to eddie. the urge to care for him never seems to fully leave.

it's not until wayne and steve finally run into each other a few months after the breakup that steve starts to think maybe eddie's actually hurting. wayne is kind to him, but has that disappointed look in his eye that hurts worse than any angry words. wayne looks tired and when steve asks how he is, he sighs the worlds heaviest sigh. tells steve about how eddie isn't doing so good. won't eat, won't leave his room. that he's watching his boy waste away and that he still doesn't understand what even happened between the two of them.

which...confuses steve. steve tells him as much. mentions the conversation he overheard, that he knows eddie doesn't love him, doesn't see him that way. he admits that he's in love with eddie, that he only walked away because eddie basically told him to. that he tried to make things work even when he knew that eddie wanted something different.

he asks wayne to keep the conversation between the two of them because he thinks eddie just needs time to let go. all wayne says in return is that eddie can't let steve go because he cares for you steve. my nephew makes a lot of mistakes, but make no mistake, the boy's missing you something terrible. steve knows wayne would never lie to him.

while steve and wayne have their heart to heart, robin finally cracks and confronts eddie. if she has to listen to steve cry himself to sleep one more time, she might commit homicide. the whole thing is ridiculous because she saw the way eddie looked at steve. he was either the world's best actor or something else is going on. so she makes her way over to forest hills knowing steve is busy grocery shopping and running errands.

when eddie opens the door, she actually gasps out loud because he looks terrible. too skinny, dark circles under his eyes, hair a wreck. he's not even wearing his rings. all her righteous fury dissipates as she looks at eddie.

he's quiet, all the manic, quirky energy that surrounds him gone. he looks like a shell of the man she knew only a few months ago. she asks why he is so heartbroken if steve meant nothing to him. asks him why he cares so much over someone who was just a fling, an experiment? she tells eddie how steve heard him say those things to wayne, and still stayed until eddie called him king steve, an experiment, and bullshit that fateful night.

she tells him that steve is good at faking it, that he's done it all his life for his parents. she makes eddie listen as she tells him about the way steve cries himself to sleep every night. that he thinks he is unlovable. that he thought eddie was different. eddie's sobbing as robin tells him the unseen truth of just affected steve's been by their breakup.

he remembers that night he lied to wayne. he knew even wayne knew he was full of shit, just trying to guard his heart in a vulnerable moment. his steve...he would have only heard the words. eddie thinks he can feel the moment his heart finally cracks in two because this whole thing has been a severe misunderstanding that he caused. he knows steve is afraid of being too much. he knows his parents treated him like shit, made him feel like his love had to be earned and then made sure he could never fully earn it. knows about how nancy broke his heart. robin made sure to tell him that she also called him bullshit.

robin holds back his hair as the throws up. stays with him while he showers and helps him detangle his hair. lets him cry on her shoulder. she helps him clean his room and do his laundry and lets him talk it out. he admits that he is deeply in love with steve. he tells robin about how he lashed out when he felt steve drifting away from him. she makes him eat and drink some water. and then, she tells him it's time to make things right as she's leaving.

they're both realizing there has been a misunderstanding of epic proportion. eddie is sick knowing that steve heard him say things he didn't mean at all. steve's new knowledge means that eddie really is doing that badly. dustin and mike have been talking about how terrible he looks, but steve just thought it was teenage dramatics. they said he'd lost weight, wasn't eating. the urge to go see him is nearly impossible to ignore, but he's still not sure if he can... the words eddie said still replay in his mind.

he thinks of wayne, looking so concerned. thinks of the look on eddie's face the night he told him to lose his number, the shock on eddie's face as steve basically laughed at him as he broke it off. regardless of anything eddie said, steve is the one who said the words 'it's over'.

oh, my, god. steve feels ill because eddie thought steve considered him the experiment and that was the reason he'd been pulling away. they're fucking idiots, the both of them. months of heartbreak because they have the communication skills of repressed neanderthals. after a few hours of ruminating over all the ways he's fucked up, steve knows he has to make things right.

eddie is on his way out of the trailer to fix things when steve's bmw flies around the corner, skidding to a stop next to his van. he looks unhinged, like he's been crying and repeatedly running his hands through his hair. he's still in his family video vest and he's out of breath like he's run a marathon.

they stare at each other for a few moments before they start talking at the same time:

eddie: i'm so sorry, i didn't mean a goddamn word. steve: no, i'm sorry, i didn't even try to talk to you, i just acted all weird and you could tell something was wrong and- eddie: no this not on you stevie, i should have asked what was wrong, i lashed out because i was afraid you were leaving and- steve: no, i could have just talked to you, i love you so much and i was afraid you didn't feel the same way eddie: no, sweetheart i'm so in love with you, god it made me a little crazy and i was scared, wayne was asking me questions and i got defensive and i was totally lying. i love you so fucking much. steve: i'm so in love with you eddie: i don't think of you as king steve, i do see you steve, i know you. you are so easy to love, i promise. there is nothing about you that's bullshit. steve: i didn't want to leave that night, ed. i was so hurt and you said it was an experiment and i'm so stupid, i thought you meant it was that for you- eddie: hey, you are not stupid. we both fucked up, but i was mean and you were trying to protect yourself. steve: but i hurt you, baby you look like you haven't been taking care of yourself, please let me take care of you. eddie: we can take care of each other, love. i've missed you, please, forgive me? steve: only if you forgive me too.

they spend the next several weeks making up. it's a lot of physically reconnecting, of course, but it's also talking through everything. they want to be sure that they're communicating. this means talking through all the painful stuff, from the start of the issues and even before. it's eddie opening up about his urge to run whenever things get too good, that something will go wrong and that he's too much. it's steve explaining his deep seated fear he has to earn love and that he's never worthy of it unless he's done enough. they both have abandonment issues to work through, but they are committed to working through all of it together.

the heartbreak suffered during the six months they spent apart ends up transforming their relationship into something unshakeable. it's deeper, filled with a more encompassing love than before. it's pages of beautiful love songs that eddie can't help but write. it's steve knowing he'll follow eddie without a second thought once the band finally gets their big break. it's their beautiful future, golden like daylight, defined by love and no longer controlled by fear.

Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it go I wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love

[hurtmyfavsthanks]

I had to share a blorbo w you cause I know you’d see my vision OKAY. Whumpee. Magic whumpee.Whumpee, a magic user, is captured and kept unconscious for months via strong bliss inducing sedatives, their magic drained periodically. When discovered by a caretaker, they are frail, unconscious, and when they wake up, disoriented. Caretaker grabs them and runs but whumpee is barely conscious and not used to anything other than the temperature controlled room where everything felt hazy and safe, being jostled and put in the cold

I need someone to understand the horror, of A, delirious whumpee not understanding what’s going on, after being awake for the first time in months. B, withdrawals. C. The feeling of helplessness, shame, and weakness that comes from the experience. Plus the human trophy aspect???

Oh my LORD do I see the vision!!!

I really, really like this idea. A gilded cage, a captivity designed to be as inoffensive as possible. It feels almost more dehumanizing than your more typical captivity because it highlights how little whumpee matters outside of their magic. Whumper doesn’t even care enough to see them suffer.

Speaking of Whumper, I feel like they could be really interesting! What are their feelings towards Whumpee. Why this method?

Was it fear? A whumper who’s equally part in awe and terrified of Whumpee’s power. A whumper who sees whumpee like an exotic animal, equal parts awe-inspiring and deadly. So they use the drugs to contain whumpee, leaving them as harmless as a housecat. Defanged, harmless, safe. It’s only then, with whumpee’s body too burdened with drugs to resist, that Whumper dares to touch their prize.

Or maybe it’s out of devotion. They see whumpee as a god, something to be worshiped and coveted, something worthy of the world’s greatest comforts. And what is a greater comfort than freedom of choice? So they bind whumpee with gentle hands, testing them with the utmost care. Tending to their body with revere, keeping their mind in a blissful unconsciousness. They’re harnessing whumpee’s power as they believe their god would wish it, and whumpee doesn’t have to lift a finger.

Or maybe it’s simple efficiency. It’s just easier, logically. Whumper doesn’t care about whumpee besides their magic, and thus they reduce them to nothing but their magic. Whumpee is a battery for them, not a person. It’s simply easier to keep them drugged and compliant.

I really like thinking about the brief moments where Whumpee’s consciousness is able rise to the surface. The brief flashes of clarity between doses. Whumpee’s eyes focusing for a moment, mind only clear enough to have the vaguest notion that something is wrong. Only aware enough for their eyes to meet Whumper’s and question who they are.

It’s never enough. Their limbs are always too heavy to move, their mind too foggy to make sense of their situation. Their captor too vigilant to allow the light in their eyes to linger before snuffing it out again. Whumper’s always ready with another dose, sending bliss into Whumpee’s veins and dragging them back down.

And the rescue! I gotta tell you, I’m always here for whumpee being disoriented and drugged while being rescued. But I feel like we so often default to a confused terror, with Whumpee believing their rescuer means to harm them. I think the total opposite end of the spectrum is really underexplored!

Just! Caretaker finally finds Whumpee after spending so long searching for them. They expected them to be weak, to be hurt and terrified. They were prepared for it, as much as the thought of someone so powerful being brought so low scared them.

They don’t expect to be greeted with a smile. They don’t expect to find Whumpee blissed out of their mind, babbling nonsense with a grin and nothing behind their eyes. Whumpee barely reacts to Caretaker’s presence, gaze passing through them even as Caretaker grips their shoulders. There’s no recognition in Whumpee’s eyes. No recognition of Caretaker, no recognition of their situation. Nothing, and it makes Caretaker sick.

And I just think it’s so creepy! The contrast between the tense situation and whumpee’s response, whumpee’s sheer inability to recognize what’s happening around them. There’s no tearful reunion, no pleading, nothing that would make sense. Caretaker feels like Whumpee is miles away, even as they press Whumpee to their chest.

When it comes to the recovery, one big point sticking in my head is Whumpee’s emotional response to the whole ordeal. We gotta consider that Whumpee is a powerful magic user. They’re used to protecting others, being the one people ask for help. They likely took pride in it on some level, maybe were even a bit cocky at the power they had at their fingertips.

And now that’s just gone. Now they can’t even stand without help, muscles deteriorated after months of inactivity. They can’t go an entire day without a nap, can’t stop their hands from shaking. The magic that once came so easily to them now burns, their power still exhausted weeks after captivity.

They hate it. They hate how easily controlled they’d been. Mind clear for the first time in months, they can’t help but recall their captivity. Recall all the moments that, if only they’d been stronger, they could’ve escaped. Recall that they hadn’t wanted to escape, how they’d felt nothing but lazy, warm contentment. Tamed and leashed and controlled like some pet monster, and having been happy in their captivity. Whumpee can only look back with disgust.

It’s about the wounded pride! It’s about Whumpee experiencing fear for the first time in years, suddenly feeling so weak and vulnerable after being powerful for so long. It’s about the shame whenever they need help, whenever Caretaker looks at them with worry in their eyes.

It’s about the realization that they’re not untouchable. That it could happen again, and they might not be able to save themselves.

[simplyclary]

To Each Their Own Charm and Beauty

(Photo edit by yours truly)

The idea for this entry stemmed from an magazine interview with Nick that I read earlier today and I knew I just had to write something about it (Twitter/X does not have enough space so I turn here),

To provide context, Nick was asked regarding the feeling of being handsome and having studios wanting him as the lead because of his handsome face, to which he brushed off and said this quote instead:

"Look, I can speak about this 'cause Taylor's a close friend of mine, but Taylor is like an Adonis. It was difficult in some aspects, being so closely compared to him".

While I do appreciate his honesty, I want to agree with him that Taylor is like an actual Greek God. Like you have seen Taylor's physique, right?? That man is cut like a sculpture.

Anyway, let's get back to the main point before I get carried away...

I honestly wanted to tell Nick through the screen that he is also handsome and charming and fit. Like if Taylor is Adonis, Nick is Apollo. They both have their individual charms and they are both loved for it.

To me, they are both charismatic and swoon-worthy gentlemen. Taylor has the gorgeous Latino charm and generally exudes alpha energy. Nick, on the other hand, has this British innocence and shyness to him. I do love both of them and they make me swoon in their own ways.

I can totally understand though where Nick is coming from when he said that statement, because at this point, Taylor is considered as one of the most handsome men of the decade. However, Nick is also handsome in his own cute British way. It also makes sense to me that his being British is why he shrugs off compliments about his physicality and looks, which is humbling in a way.

To be fair though, Taylor also blushes and gets flusters at compliments, especially about those gorgeous eyelashes of his that the world is jealous of. So they are both humble gentlemen that deserves to be loved, supported and protected.

Some other things that I love about both Taylor and Nick includes the facts that they are both so sweet and kind, so approachable, and they are not afraid to be vulnerable and honest.

Bottomline is that Taylor and Nick each have their own individual charms, Of course, it's normal to compare them to one another considering they're currently heartthrobs with lots of fans (including me) who goes feral over them every time they have an appearance. To me, what matters is both the outside and inside personality. They check the box on both of those, so that's a win in my eyes.

[sphaxcca]

My Candy Love New Gen Ep. 3 Review

Okaaaaaay so since this is my first post on here: Hi there! guess who's gonna give her unasked opinion about her Playthrough of My Candy Love New Gen? ME! ofc.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So i've finished playing the episode and honestly i'm starting to wonder how the plot is gonna develop during the story.

Until now ce can't really say that the story is growing but, I mean, it's completely fine because these are the first episode so it's pretty normal that there's basically nothing but just a presentation of the character and a little peak of their routes.

The episode was pretty chill and cute for some point of view, but my only doubt is about the speed of the storytelling, i really hope that with new episode the story's gonna grow in speed or in lenght of episodes because, for how is it now, it's gonna take forever to make a real "change" in the plot (especially for Jason's route candies like me) The idea of the welcome party was EXTREMELY cute also the "preparation" part was okay;

Amanda not partecipating at the party because Candy didn't choose the park had me turn up my nose honestly, but by the way she reacted the all time, i could have guessed it. She gives me a little bit of snooty vibes but i guess it's just the shell of the character.

ELENDA. oh my ELENDA. I hope with my whole heart that she's gonna be the new Rosalya because i need it. I genueine need a ray of sunshine like her in my candy's life when she's gonna sleep with the rival agency's boss :PPPPPP (The truth or dare part XD had me DEAD, i mean come on guys, you're almost 30 and you need a TRUTH or DARE game to break the ice? LMAO. )

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.

ROY. Can someone explain to me? Please don't tell me that the dare that he should have done was to kiss Candy and, because is dating Brune, he turned candy's head to kiss her on the check. Please don't tell me or imma GASP. At first i thought he was going to be the gym bro not interested in any dating or in date many girls at the same time, BUT THIS. BRUH unexpected. So i guess Candy in thi s case have to be Eric 2.0 of new gen. Love it. Let's sleep with another taken man!

DEVON. So I Honestly don't know what to say about him for now because i can't really say what's gonna be the issue with him. I Just really hope is not gonna be like Hyun route ( a full of nothing) because the character seems really cute, so please beemoov give us some tea or a plot twist. Something that happened in the episode that made me actually turn my head the screen was Candy saying (if you go to him at the Mall) "It seems that he doesn't want to be the Ceo" Maybe this is going to be the route?

THOMAS. I honestly love him and i feel like his entire route is gonna be Candy tries to make him understand what is to date someone. I also have a feeling (which would make totally sense) that Thomas is either authistic or he's part of that percentual of the populations that has an IQ higher that the others. L O V E I T TBH and it's a shame that i hvae to play two time the episodes because the outfit it's not the same for jason's route.

AMANDA Snooty on the outside but a marshmallow on the inside, i'm so sure of this. My guess here is that, girl's rich ass didn't say anything to her family that she likes girls. I just really hope is not the sme thing that happened with Priya because players dont wanna play things two times.

JASON. At last but not least, the enemies to lovers we didn't know we needed. what can I say? I have a huge love for Men who are so incure of themselfs that they put up this gigantic EGO (and not Confidence) to try to hide their real self. This going to be and Astarion (Bg3) route 2.0, I'M HERE FOR IT. Btw i'm pretty sure he seduced Danica to make her leave Devenementiel, this B, love him. At least he's not taken Candies....

what do you think? <3

-Sph

[severecollectionarcade]

A bit of an angry rant, but I wanna try and be as civil as I possibly can. Bc something's been really pissing me off lately. I'll try and keep this short. I'm genuinely sick of folks in this fandom villainizing anybody who ships sleepday (Dogday x Catnap) simply because of the game. I'm bringing this up because people often never actually look into the lore of poppy playtime, nor dive in deeper to better understand this ship and why people are fond of it. Like, I get the hatred for people if you ship the bigger bodies, which is fucked up considering that Catnap in the game was ORIGINALLY an orphan 8 year old before becoming an experiment. And Dogday was somewhat an employee I think? People think it's not true people think it is I don't logically know at this point. But guys. The cartoons. There's a huge difference between the cartoons and the game. Catnap really isn't all that evil as people make it out to be. It's honestly just theo. Cartoon Catnap is innocent. Plus, I think it's safe to say that in his cartoon version, he mainly likes to sleep, smells like lavender, and makes sure his friends get peaceful sleep. Catnap in the game is fucking murderous and serves a prototype. And he sees Dogday as nothing but a heretic. That's basically it. I get why people adore Sleepyday. It's the classic sun x moon dynamic and I truly adore it! Hell, I'm a Sleepyday shipper myself. I genuinely think this ship is adorable (CARTOON VERSIONS) because it would make total sense. Dogday and Catnap are confirmed to be close friends. They genuinely care for one another. I wish I had a friendship just as sweet as that.

In conclusion, I genuinely think people don't understand the lore when it comes to Poppy Playtime. What do you guys think about this post? Should I change my wordings? Did I make valid points? Let me know, because I'm not that good at making points myself. I'm just giving out information from what I notice. Anyways, thank you for the people who decided to stand by and read this post. I don't usually post. So. This is my first time.

[moonfurthetemmie]

are everyone sexualities the same or they r like in fatal flaws??

ALSO is there XChara??? ( IDK IF U ANSWERED THIS I can't seem to find it anywhere if someone asked before me )

I have few more but I forgot what ( I will ask when I do ( aka I thought that in the morning and rn it's around midnight JDUUDJD )

Yeah everyone’s the same I think

Delusion MIGHT be on the ace spectrum but he’s also too busy pretending to be being god to bother with that stuff, + his aura makes his emotions and shit weird so he’s not really thinking about people much in terms of ‘would I smooch/hold hands with/sleep with this person?’

Maybe if he spent some time with someone with his aura turned off (which he’d need quite a powerful magic suppressor for, and atm the only ones they have that are strong enough are in his apartment and the max security cells) he’d find out he is attracted to people

I say all that as an ace person btw. And also someone with bad memory hold on

@wheezethebluejay did we make him ace for sure or is the “official” answer just ‘I dunno maybe

Other than that, and an obligatory mention that Pluto is mostly gay but he does have some attraction to girls (tho Kai made that canon for Fatal Flaws too, if I remember right), everyone’s the same. Slash and Hunter are bi, Byte is pan, Gouge is abro. Etc

XChara I don’t think has been thought about once. In all fairness, tho, they barely exist in normal DS anymore, too. No idea where the kid is. They’re not really important, anyways

i haven’t watched Underverse in an age and a half but there’s a non-0 chance that they’re dead. like super duper dead. slash murderized them. Maybe. Idk! id have to rewatch Underverse

[woolysstuff]

I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT HIM

Evil!Sun my beloved (Edit// This Evil!Sun is from TSAMS and is not an AU of mine guys)

Bonus doodle

[sakuraluck]

when i said i wanted to understand whatever’s going on in ivan’s head, i didn’t mean like this 😭😭

[transmascissues]

Different anon. FGM is nearly the same to "bottom surgery". It's mutilation based on sex and genitals. The intent doesn't make it any less destructive or sad.

first of all, FGM is not at all nearly the same as bottom surgery, even just from a technical perspective. as many people in the replies of the last ask have pointed out, one difference is that bottom surgery involves the penis being either created from the clitoris or constructed on top of it, not removing it as with many forms of FGM.

but, for the sake of argument, let’s say they are similar surgeries on a technical level. do you really think it’s the kind of surgery that makes FGM bad? would you say that somebody who received a similar surgery for medical reasons was a victim of FGM?

what makes FGM “destructive and sad” is that:

it’s done to people who don’t want it.

it’s done to people who don’t actually know what’s being done to them or what the risks or consequences might be, so victims often find themselves living with complications for the rest of their lives that they never agreed to.

it has many potential harmful effects and no actual benefits.

gender affirming surgeries like bottom surgery don’t match any of those points. they’re:

performed only on people who actively want them and chose to have them done.

only ever done when the patient can give informed consent, meaning they know what the surgery entails and what the risks could be and have chosen to do it with that knowledge.

proven to have mental health benefits for the people who receive them, and are often considered medically necessary on that basis.

fundamentally, bottom surgery is an exercise of bodily autonomy while FGM is a violation of it. that’s what makes FGM so bad and makes the two so vitally different. mutilation is an act that causes serious harm without any true benefit; FGM fits that bill, bottom surgery doesn’t. saying the two are the same is like saying a medically performed abortion is the same as pushing a pregnant person down the stairs to cause a miscarriage: it focuses solely on the most literal understanding of what’s being done without any regard for the details or the impact on the people involved.

the problem with FGM is the fact that it’s being performed on people who can’t give informed consent and who will likely suffer from it while not gaining any benefits from it. if you actually care about victims of FGM, you should be upset about the violation of their bodies and lifelong suffering they’re subjected to, not the fact that it’s their genitals that are being altered.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / ]

Y’know something I really like from the movie is how close Future Leo and Casey Jr are presented as being, even if not shown often or super obviously.

Like beyond Junior’s blatant idolization of “the world’s greatest ninja”, I want to highlight the beginning of the movie, with Junior trying so desperately to save Future Leo, Leo reassuring Junior despite his own acceptance of death, and, especially, I want to highlight the “have a slice” line.

Because…this is a line given to a kid raised in war. A line given at the tail end of what quite possibly is the most important task the resistance has ever undertaken. A line whose importance lies solely in the sentimental value of a child finally getting to experience something entirely good, and Leo knowing Junior will succeed to experience it because he believes in him.

I dunno, I think a lot of Future Leo giving Casey Jr the thing Leo himself always longed for: trust.

[fuedalreesespieces]

Inuyasha & Demisexuality

i think halfway into writing this i thought about just cramming all my thoughts into a semi-coherent rant due to a combination of a.) lack of access to decent translations of the manga and b.) paranoia about over-analyzing scenes and coming off as delusional (i think by now it's probably too late to thwart that claim) buuut this headcanon in particular is near and dear to me so i want to try and get as in depth as possible.

what is demisexuality?

in simple terms, demisexuality is when an individual doesn't experience primary attraction - that is, the sort of attraction based on immediate observable (often physical) characteristics - and instead only experiences secondary attraction first: the type of attraction that forms after the development of a deep emotional bond.

inuyasha and kikyo

this aforementioned term perfectly describes inuyasha and his relationships with the only women he's ever loved romantically. you could make the claim that his inability to feel primary attraction first stems from his trust issues and not inherent sexual orientation. and to that, i would disagree - he and kikyo develop an emotional bond despite an unspoken lack of trust, which may have improved had naraku not meddled in their lives. still, both find solace in each other's similarities, loneliness, and "outlier" status (though the similarities are in isolation only, if i'm being completely honest) and establish a connection that persists post-revival.

inuyasha eventually did start to feel primary attraction to kikyo during their time together - in the second chapter of the manga, when he compares kagome to her, he states that kikyo "looked pretty."

[source - viz. i haven't been in this fandom long, but what i've gathered is that there are a lot of mis-translations of this manga, even from viz. since i have yet to buy physical copies of the manga and don't have an account for the site, i'm going to be using fan-scans for the rest of these, which hopefully won't really affect what i'm trying to convey since i'll be looking at character expressions rather than dialogue for most of them.]

i'd also note the order in which he lists those traits: kikyo looked intelligent and pretty. her intelligent appearance is the first part of her he remembers, which i think underscores his priorities in this regard. he values things like intelligence and companionship - facets that come to light when developing secondary attraction towards someone - more than aspects of primary attraction.

inuyasha and kagome

as mentioned before, demisexuals don't feel physical attraction before establishing a tight emotional bond. the most blatant examples i could think of this were any instances in which inuyasha sees kagome nude and his difference in reaction - in particular, during the yura of the hair and togenkyo arcs, which are roughly seventy-three chapters apart. there are two new moons in that time, and from that we can say at least two months have passed.

chapter six: yura of the hair

kagome's bathing below him, and i'm sorry, but this expression literally screams "zero fucks given." he does not care in the slightest. not a blush. not a spot of red on his cheeks. not a sweatdrop. not a tee-hee. if i were to describe what he's feeling in this moment i would say "extreme ire." when she uses the sit command on him, it's on the assumption that he's "peeking," but kaede understands that it's actually because inuyasha is trying to steal a shard of the shikon jewel.

"huh?" - he sounds genuinely confused that she reached that conclusion, even though he was quite literally peering over the cliff's edge in what obviously has very perverse connotations. it's almost like he doesn't understand why kagome would think his actions come from a place of sexual attraction because that sort of thing just isn't on his mind at all, and he doesn't get why it would be in the first place.

another extremely blatant example can be see in miroku's introductory chapter: chapter 51, the delinquent priest:

do i even have to say anything. this scene also further emphasizes my previous point - before, the only reason he was there was to try and steal kagome's jewel shard. if his true intentions had been driven by primary attraction, this would have been an opportune moment to "peep." in his words, however, he just isn't interested. note that he could have said something along the lines of "i wouldn't do something like that" (which, if he was attracted to her in that way from the start, wouldn't have done anyway) but specifically i'm not interested. the primary attraction is not there in the slightest. at least, not until:

chapter eighty two: fateful night in togenkyo

the scene i'm talking about needs no introduction, but for context: kagome's half-freaking out after having woken up in a sake bath. inuyasha breaks down the door to come and rescue her, accidentally seeing her naked in the process. well, i'm sure his reaction won't be that dif-

...it's only one panel-

okay, two-

i think at this point it's fairly obvious that primary attraction has developed. besides the fact that he's spent three panels trying not to look like he's having a quasi allergic reaction, it's been approximately two months since they've met, and by now they've definitely formed the deep emotional bond required for him to begin feeling any primary attraction at all. in fact, the chapter where he tells kagome "there's no replacement for you" - that chapter, where he's vulnerable and honest and opening up to her, strengthening their bond further, (ch. 78, a tender smell) is directly before the togenkyo arc begins, and, thus, just before these scenes occur. these chapters have all been building up secondary attraction, and now that primary attraction is just starting to show up.

several chapters later we have this iconic panel from 173:

this is such a look of awe, as though he's gazing up at a goddess. jaw dropped, eyes-wide, words trailing off awe. he's entranced. fully head-over-heels in love, feeling both primary and secondary attraction in regards to kagome, and this trend only continues throughout the entirety of the manga.

conclusion + extra thoughts

my belief in this headcanon comes from not just the evidence depicted above, but because i just related a ton reading those scenes. i found myself just nodding along (as someone who's demisexual themselves!) plus, since ace-spectrum representation is so rare, it's nice to see it reflected in a character whose story and relationships i love dearly.

tags: @nightshade-lullaby