#that totally makes sense and is understandable

[coolwyous]

┈─★ 𝘪'𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 . / pt ii.

   ⊹ ࣪ ˖ you and sophia mutually decided to be just friends, which is totally fine, and there aren’t at all any lingering feelings! (and truly, it’s really none of your best friend's business if you and your team-captain-turned-situationship are secretly still in love with each other, but certified girlfailure megan skiendiel feels like it’s her duty to do something about it.)

            ˎˊ˗  🌌  ⊹ ࣪ ˖  ୭˚.  ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️

   ➴ pairing: volleyball captain!sophia laforteza x f!volleyball player!reader.

         ➴ genre + wc: 8k, slow burn, angst and fluff, LOTS of mutual pining, ice queen sophia but she's a lil softer this time, reader is STILL a big dork.

   ➴ you might want to tune in...: pov - ariana grande. ♫ + understand - keshi. ♫

          �� ┈─★ a/n: the promised sequel <3 luv luv luved wriitng for my fav leader. hope u enjoy!! ps. vball!megan's fic next!!

end of winter in malibu is undeniably gorgeous. considering you moved here at the very end of summer, getting a chance to see it in the cooler temperatures was a beautiful experience. but with january comes spring, and with spring comes rebirth, and you can’t help but feel like a new semester is exactly what you need.

you’re in the passenger’s seat as megan drives down the highway towards the airport. you can both feel the anticipation. you’re on a mission— the two of you are about to be someone’s personal taxi, and the car buzzes with the excitement of welcoming her home.

you peek at the girl. megan is one of the best things that had come out of your transfer to msu, quickly becoming one of your favorite friends as you took her under your wing. she makes a face like she’s thinking too hard, and you immediately jump in to see what’s on her mind.

“hey,” you poke her arm gently.

“hi,” she says back, her eyebrows furrowed.

“what’s up?” you ask, sensing something off with her.

megan blinks once, letting out a quiet sigh. “y/n, i’m really sorry for last semester.”

you pause. megan has apologized before, for the way things played out, for the things she mentioned (or left out) but you can tell it still gnaws at her. 

“nothing to apologize for,” you reassure her, reaching out to pat her arm. you look ahead at the beautiful sunset on the edge of the road as the airport gets closer and closer. “i’m grateful you were honest with me. saved me a lot of heartbreak.”

“i feel like i ruined things,” megan breathes, biting her lip, her eyes fixed on the road.

“never. our friendship is better than ever.” you nod confidently. “both you and me, and me and sophia.”

her name finally comes out of your mouth, and it feels like the sun rises. your skin warms.

“i’m sorry again,” megan sighs. “me and my stupid big mouth...”

“stop it,” you press, shaking your head. “we love you, megan.”

you see the compliment lighten the weight on her shoulders. her eyes light up cheerfully. “you really do love me? is that why you keep looking out for me? wow. i never connected the dots.”

“you’re ridiculous,” you laugh. “you know the world is a better place with you in it.”

she beams back at you as you guys pull into the parking lot of the airport. cars honk around you, people reconnecting with their loved ones, tired bodies all getting into their cars. 

as if your eyes are magnets to her, you spot the purple suitcase and the black baseball cap pulled down over her eyes. you’d recognize her amongst a million people if you had to, you know that with certainty.  

“mommy’s home!” megan chirps excitedly. you laugh and shake your head as she leaps out of the car and  sprints ahead, nearly getting hit by the incoming traffic, body buzzing at the sight of her captain.

you cross and follow quickly behind megan, who is already vibrating with excitement as she leaps into sophia’s arms. sophia lets out a grunt and drops her bag onto the ground, freeing up her hands to catch the oversized girl in her arms. you shriek with laughter at the sight, megan wrapped around sophia’s torso like a little kid, watching as sophia nearly topples over but manages to keep them both up.

her skin is more tanned, kissed by the sun no doubt, her eyes less tired than you remembered them being. after your team won their championship, you and the girls all pitched in to surprise your devoted captain with a flight back home for winter break for all her hard work the whole season. 

megan lets go of sophia and grabs her suitcase from her, racing to go lead you all to the car and get you guys back to campus.

you and sophia stand face to face. something deeply warm comes over you as you both pause to take each other in, as if you weren’t facetiming every night, as if she wasn’t texting you updates of everything as it went on around her. sure, you and sophia were never more than a few hours without talking, but now she’s here, in the flesh, and that’s something your body is still clearly adjusting to.

“how was it being back?” you ask.

“perfect,” sophia smiles gently. “my mom couldn’t stop crying every time she looked at me. i am grateful to be here, though.”

“five weeks is a little long to run away for, don’t you think?” you tease her, pushing her in the arm playfully.

“too long, agreed,” she nods back, before quickly flashing you her teeth. “you’ll have to come with me next time.”

you feel your heart thud in your chest. you nearly scream at yourself, don’t start, as if you have any control over it. this is just how sophia is— she seems moody, she seems intense, but she’s actually a huge sweetheart, super considerate, super charming, super witty, with super pretty sad eyes and super soft lips…

you blink again, trying to re-focus on the conversation at hand. megan is throwing the suitcase in the trunk and eagerly beckoning for you guys to get in so you can start the drive back to campus and see the rest of the girls.

“everyone’s still in one piece,” you pivot quickly, eager to shift the conversation.

“how many times did megan almost die?” sophia arches a brow, sliding into the backseat.

“nine,” you tattle on her instantly. 

“not even!” megan whines as she turns on the radio, starting the drive. she rattles them off, counting on her fingers. “there was the snorkeling incident, the food poisoning incident, the bus incident…” 

you lean in as megan continues her rambles, whispering quietly to the brunette. “missed ya. i think things will run a little smoother now that you’re back.”

“missed you too.” sophia smiles softly, her eyes searching your face. “a lot.”

“...and the second snorkeling incident. that’s only eight!”

you pause and try to recollect whatever she had just listed that you’d missed. “actually, you forgot the superglue incident.”

“i don’t want to know about the superglue incident,” sophia groans, throwing her head back against the seat. 

“no, it wasn’t even my fault dude! manon dared me that i couldn’t squeeze a whole bottle of superglue out in less than a minute, which is so stupid ‘cause those tubes are so tiny, so we went to the dollar store and picked up a bunch to test it out, and then…”

you look over to smile at sophia, only to realize she’s already smiling at you. 

-

“dani almost got arrested, and now yoonchae’s starting to practice with the team so she’s ready for next year when she joins, so that means i’m not gonna be the youngest any more, and then there was manon and lara almost fighting over the same girl until they realized she was straight and just queerbaiting them…”

megan doesn’t even pause to take a breath. 

the girls all meet you in the parking lot of sophia’s dorm, cheering on their leader to welcome her back after so much time spent apart. sophia rolls her eyes at the grand gesture but makes it a point to hug each of them, clearly having missed her team. a handful of you guys cram into her dorm, megan and lara helping with her bags up the stairs, trying to squeeze the 7 of you in her tiny dorm room.

“sounds eventful,” sophia blinks, taking out her clothes from the suitcase.

the girl nods, sitting on sophia’s bed, before motioning over to you casually. “oh, and y/n also didn’t go on any dates.”

“megan!” you say her name sharply, as dani bursts into laughter behind you. 

“what?” the youngest blinks innocently. “it’s true! you were too busy keeping me in one piece.”

sophia grins, tilting her head over at you curiously. “is that so?”

“we’re not talking about it,” you shake your head, feeling your cheeks burn.

you’re about to call megan out for her putting you on the spot, but the girl gets that same look in her eye from earlier, like she’s about to say something, and beats you to it.

“can we all hang out here?” she asks eagerly. “please? i missed being one big happy family.”

sophia looks around at the 7 of you squished up in her room. “meg, sleep where exactly? the balcony? there’s only one bed.”

“we can all cuddle on the floor,” megan offers, her eyes lighting up.

as much as the idea of spending the night on the ground does not excite you, you know sophia is lowkey just a giant softie for her girls, and relents nearly instantly. less than 20 minutes later, all of you are making a giant blanket pile, surrounded by pillows and each other, crammed together like sardines. megan is happily in the middle of the mix, beaming brightly as sophia turns off the lights.

“good night everyone,” megan announces. “i love you all so much.”

manon throws a pillow from her side of the floor. “meg, girl, please shut up.”

you laugh and turn on your side, realizing somehow, you’ve ended up next to someone you have far too much experience sleeping next to. 

sophia’s eyes are already closed, facing you, her arm tucked underneath her head. she looks so precious and cozy, dozing off with quiet breaths escaping her perfect lips. you can feel the warmth radiating off her body, and if you wanted, you might even be able to touch her. but this isn’t a version of sophia that you should touch, and you have to remind yourself of that as you close your own eyes and try to drift off to sleep.

you’re not sure how much time has passed between the snores and the breaths, but amongst the silence, you hear a grumble.

“psst. anyone?”

you stifle a laugh. of course it’s megan.

you open your eyes only to realize sophia has an eye cracked open. you smile as you realize she looks absolutely over it. 

“your daughter won’t go to sleep,” she whispers, half-groaning, hoping the girl in question won’t hear you guys.

“she was yours first!” you argue back.

“she likes you better,” sophia grins.

“i’m hungry,” megan whines once more. “will one of you, ideally both, please feed me?”

you click your tongue. so much for not getting caught.

“rock paper scissors?” you offer, holding up your hand to sophia.

she wrinkles her nose and laughs. “you’re going to read my mind somehow and i’ll be the one stuck ordering way too much food on uber eats and she’ll somehow still end up hungry.”

“scared to lose, laforteza?” you stick your tongue out at her challengingly.

sophia smiles, holding her fist up.

“not to you,” she says softly, and you two start your silly little competition to see who’ll be stuck feeding your teammate’s voracious appetite. 

-

and just like that, it’s like she never left. 

you and sophia do everything together. from the moment you wake up, your first text is to sophia, who is usually already up and ordering you both a coffee. you meet for class, walk across campus together, you text during your lecture about whatever stupid little things come up, you have meals together, meet up with the girls together. literally every waking moment is spent with sophia laforteza. 

it’s confusing, sure, but neither of you are willing to rock the boat by bringing up what happened. your kiss, the way it was so close to evolving into more, the secret sophia had kept from you. it was still a sore spot for you, but the fact that sophia is willing to gloss over it as if it had never happened in order for you guys to stay comfortable with each other feels like a blessing in disguise.

you and sophia’s friendship has a second chance to go uninterrupted, and you’re not about to risk that for any reason whatsoever. 

you’re at the gym with sophia when she steps away to go refill your water bottle for you. you insist it’s not necessary, but by the third time you’ve sipped from sophia’s stanley, she’s making fun of you and snatching your bottle up to go fill it at the water station. 

you’re putting in your numbers into your fitness tracker when a figure interrupts, clearing their throat politely in front of you. you assume it’s someone wanting to use the equipment you’re on, and you look up ready to apologize, but your stomach drops as soon as your eyes land on the person waiting.

“marquise, hi,” you breathe.

she smiles kindly, almost too kindly to be real. “hi y/n.”

your skin crawls at the idea of them together, made-up scenes flashing in your head. of course you know what marquise looks like. you had gone crazy while sophia was gone over break and done some digging of your own. neither of them had any photos up together any more, and sophia didn’t follow marquise any more, but marquise still followed sophia, as well as most of your other teammates. 

“what are you doing here?” you ask, feeling your throat go dry.

“looking for sophia,” she answers. her voice is soft, gentle, almost too perfect. you see exactly why her and sophia would make sense together. she peeks around. “have you seen her?”

as if on cue, you hear that familiar voice behind you, coming to your rescue.

“marquise, i asked you to wait until y/n and i were done hanging out,” sophia grits.

“okay, that was my mistake. i didn’t realize you guys were still together,” the girl holds her hands up innocently, and you can tell she’s sincere in her apology. she never once gives you a dirty look. “you texted me that like two hours ago, i just assumed, i’m sorry soph. i’ll wait somewhere else.”

you get an overwhelming sense of dread, not wanting to cause further issues, you figure it’s a better option to just bite the bullet and excuse yourself. 

“it’s totally fine, you must be super tired, marquise.” you grab your gym bag and nod at the captain. “soph, i’ll see you.”

she stares at you, and you nod back reassuringly. the exchange makes her shoulders soften ever so slightly, but she still looks at her ex with extreme apprehension. you wave to marquise awkwardly, eager to get out of there, and escape to your dorm, praying whatever conversation these two have leads to some kind of decent outcome. 

(plus, what’s the worst that could happen? they decide to give things another try and end up falling in love all over again in front of your very eyes?)

you take a long, hot shower as soon as you get home, falling back onto your bed in exhaustion. you debate calling up one of the girls to hang out, but you decide to bear through this on your own, opening up tik tok to distract you.

luckily, your plan works, because a mere hour later, you’re getting an incoming facetime call from captain crunch ☀️.

“hey,” you greet, instantly seeing the distress written all over her face. you feel your heart drop in concern. “sophia, how’d it go? are you okay?”

“can i come over?” she asks instantly, her voice hard. 

you let out an aching breath, realizing her pain. “soph, you don’t even have to ask.”

there’s a pause, her breathing heavy, before she hangs up. she’s at your door less than 10 minutes later, racing immediately to your bed and pulling her knees to her chest. you know it’s stupid, but you immediately rush to wrap her in a hug. she tenses, but quickly melts into you, hugging you back with her fingers gripping your hoodie.

“she apologized. for everything.” she finally says after a beat. her voice is neutral, like she’s reading something out of a book. “said traveling made her reflect.”

“i mean, i get it,” you shrug, feeling her grip you even tighter, her chin in your shoulder. you rub a soothing circle into her back. “you broke up with her over text. she expected to come home and fix things and you shut that down.”

“you’re such an empath,” sophia laughs, and the sound rumbles through her chest as she sniffles. 

you smile, squeezing her gently. “you are too.” 

sophia pauses, and you can tell she’s debating sharing something. before you can beg her to not leave you in the dark, she surprises you.

“she wanted to get back together,” she says, keeping her face hidden in your shoulder. “to try.”

“oh.” you feel a lump form in your throat. your worst fear feels like it’s facing you in the eyes, but this isn’t about you, this is about being there for your best friend. “what’d you say?”

she takes a deep breath, her nose poking into your neck. the brief touch of her skin against yours makes your chest thud. 

“things ended for a reason,” she says curtly. “no need to try again.”

you feel yourself let out a breath of relief. 

“short, simple, to the point. so efficient, soph,” you tease.

you feel her smile against your shoulder, and she pulls away. she looks lighter now, the distress melting from her features. you smile back at her, looking down at your phone for the time.

“soph, should we get something to eat?” you ask.

she wrinkles her nose, tilting her head to sniff herself. “i need to shower first. she caught us post-cardio.”

you nod.

“i’ll wait for you.”

sophia looks at you, her eyes shifting with something familiar in them, and her lips part to say something. you wait, curious as to what she has left to say, but nothing comes out. she stands there, frozen, as if something is stuck in the back of her throat. you feel your heart break, hoping you can relieve her of some of the weight she carries on those shoulders of hers.

“shower here,” you reassure her, standing up and sliding your shoes on. “i’ll go get the girls. we’ll meet you at the dining hall?”

“the girls,” she echoes, smiling down at the floor. you wonder if she’s got something else to add. forever gracious, forever composed, she nods. “group dinner, yeah, that’s perfect. see you in a few, y/n.”

-

manon and lara meet you outside, and megan is quick to join. dani texts to say she’ll save you guys a table. 

“i feel like it’s driving me crazy. i haven’t been used to having sophia on campus again and now her ex is back too?” you groan, after telling the girls about your run-in with marquise.

“that’s gotta be the msu curse,” megan shakes her head.

“i hate when you drop lore that i should know about,” you groan, feeling your eyes go wide. “please tell me about this before i go insane.”

“it’s a stupid superstition,” manon laughs. 

“at msu, something horribly bad happens every year,” lara informs you.

megan holds up her fingers as if to count them. 

“two years ago, marquise broke her hip.”

she folds a finger down.

“last year, you guys got into your fight.”

then she points to herself.

“who knows what might happen this year?” her eyes go wide. “if you play volleyball for msu, he curse is alive and well, and ready to fuck you up.”

lara shoves her, laughing wildly. “shut up bro, you’re stressing y/n out. look at her face.”

“she deserves the warning!” megan huffs.

“okay, let’s be done talking about it, please,” you plead.

“gladly,” manon grins, wiggling her eyebrows. “y/n, the season being over means you have more free time.”

you wrinkle your nose at her. “what are you implying?”

“you could go on a date. people have been asking about you,” lara jumps in.

“not interested,” you immediately shake your head.

“you don’t even know who’s been asking about you!” lara cries.

“i don’t need to know.” you shake your head again. “not interested.”

you won’t admit it to yourself. there’s only one person worth focusing that on, and there’s no chance there.

before they can keep egging you on (or expose your lingering feelings) the familiar voice cuts in from behind you.

“what are we talking about?”

you let out a sigh of relief. sophia immediately comes up alongside you, and you smell the coconut and mango of her shampoo radiating off her freshly-washed hair. bare-faced, and skin still pink from the hot water, she still looks absolutely stunning. 

“hi leader,” manon beams.

megan, seemingly clueless but always somehow having your back, simply beams at the captain, sparing you from having to get called out.

“we’re talking about the cyclones curse.”

“oh god, you guys and your spooky stories.” sophia rolls her eyes and pushes megan playfully, walking past her to start in the direction of the dining hall. “are we going to dinner or what?”

you beam and motion for her to keep walking. “lead the way.”

she grins back at you and pauses, gesturing for you to step ahead of her. “nope, after you.”

megan eyes you both curiously, suspiciously, from the corner of her vision.

-

ever since the incident with marquise, megan has been weird.

you and sophia are fine, better than ever, if anything, but you’ve noticed something is off with the ginger girl. she’s always been a little eccentric, but now she’s acting uncharacteristically needy, and for whatever reason, the only people who can ever seem to come to her rescue have to be either you, or sophia laforteza. 

and as of recently, it’s been both, for some reason, at the same time.

megan calls you up out of nowhere late one night when you’re watching another episode of your favorite netflix show. your eyes are heavy, and you’re about to fall asleep, but you know megan is relentless, and if you don’t pick up, she’ll call you until you do.

you pick up, and she wastes no time even greeting you.

“y/n. i’m feeling stressed out.”

“go to sleep, meg,” you groan sleepily.

“come over.”

“megan, what? i’m already in bed,” you shake your head, turning over onto your side.

“please, i need the moral support,” she pleads.

“to sleep?” you question suspiciously.

“yes, to sleep.” she insists, her voice softening playfully. “come hug me?”

you laugh, already picturing the girl’s silly face. “what are you, three? ugh, i’ll be there soon. you better not fall asleep before i get there.”

you can practically hear megan smiling from the other end of the line as you get your shoes on and slip out the door.

you make it to megan’s dorm and knock on the door. there’s a rustling sound from inside, and before you know it, the door swings open.

much to your confusion, you stand face to face with sophia laforteza.

“oh hi,” you greet, quickly stepping back to make sure you had walked to megan’s room, not sophia’s by accident. but no, room 414, residence of megan skiendiel. you’re not mistaken.

“hm.” sophia looks you over quickly, before calling out over her shoulder to the girl still inside. “megan? why is y/n here?”

the girl in question bounces up to the doorway, her giant grin nearly taking over her face. she pushes past sophia to reach for your hand, yanking you into her room. “‘cause i invited her, duh.”

“you invited me,” sophia reminds her, crossing her arms over her chest. she looks unamused, but not annoyed— the look she tends to reserve for megan exclusively.

the ginger beams. either she doesn’t notice sophia’s displeasure, or she flat out does not care.

“slumber party!” she chants, motioning to the way she has her bed set up to face the tv, three pillows lined up neatly. the implication is clear: megan planned this.

“meg, you do know y/n and i hang out plenty outside of class?” sophia laughs, shaking her head.

“do you guys still have slumber parties?” the girl quips back, pointing to the bed and insisting you hop in.

you pause, looking nervously between sophia and megan’s bed. sure, when you guys traveled for games, sharing a room with her had quickly turned into sharing a bed, and at a certain point, your hangouts would usually end in the two of you falling asleep side-by-side. but since the season ended, you two have been extremely careful not to cross that line again, sophia always heading home before she gets too sleepy.

“i mean, not this semester. soph just barely got back...”

megan nods as if you’ve proven her point. “then let me have this!”

“you are something else, skiendiel,” sophia shakes her head, but you see the smile on the corner of her lips.

“please don’t make me run laps, oh leader…” megan pleads playfully, wiggling under the blankets and reaching for the remote. “i just wanted to be in the middle again. can you blame me? you guys are like, my favorite people. please? pleasepleaseplease…”

“shut up,” sophia rolls her eyes, but she’s getting under the covers as well, wiggling in onto the side closest to the wall. “pick a movie.”

you laugh and follow her lead, ending up on the other side of megan. the ginger beams widely as you and sophia both get cozy, the three of you squished like sardines in the tiny dorm bed. sophia crosses her arms, clearly unamused, but you don’t mind. falling asleep in her presence again is a small gift you’ll take happily.

-

friday night, nothing to do, and your hands are much too quick to dial her up.

(arguably, she’s just as fast to pick up, but that’s not an issue you’re willing to unpack right now.)

“hi you,” she chirps, her voice instantly melting you into a puddle.

“are you going to that party lara’s been talking about?” you ask, already smiling down at the ground from her greeting alone. “the one off campus.”

she pauses. “are you?”

“you answer first,” you laugh.

“only if you do.”

“only if i answer?”

“only if you go.”

your heart thuds at how confident she sounds, how certain.

“deal,” you smile. “what, you need your emotional support libero there that bad?”

“you’re the only one i trust to help me keep an eye on everyone,” she laughs.

“ah, i love being your special helper,” you tease her.

“come on,” sophia chuckles. “i’ll see you in five. we can share an uber.”

and you do meet her in five. and you do share an uber. and your breath catches in your throat at the sight of her, so effortlessly gorgeous in a simple tee with a jacket and some jeans, her hair falling in perfectly tamed cascades over her shoulders. as it always has, and likely as it always will.

you follow each other through the house party, and even though the idea was to find the other girls, you’re too caught up in your own conversation to even bother looking for them. it’s nearly painful for you, how easily you two can get lost in your own little world, but it feels so inevitable. you don’t know how anyone could stay away from her— the inevitable pull that is the gravity of sophia laforteza, the warmth in her smile, the sheer strength of her presence enough to overwhelm you, to keep you in her orbit, to keep you circling around her as if it’s the only thing you’re capable of doing.

you wonder then, if you’ll be happy with it. if friendship with a force like sophia will ever feel enough, knowing now what her lips taste like and seeing a glimpse of her most intimate thoughts. yes, things are different now, but she still trusts you. still opens up to you, still seeks you out, still makes you feel seen. you’ve resigned yourself to accepting that that will be it. your friendship with sophia will have to be enough.

the two of you are laughing in your own little bubble when a girl, clearly a little tipsy, gets a little too close, stumbling into you. sophia eyes her hesitantly, but before you can check to see if the girl is okay, she’s shrieking at the top of her lungs, her eyes going wide.

“oh my god, y/n.” the girl blinks, stumbling to her feet. “this is crazy!”

another two or three girls catch up to her, and you feel sophia tense. you’re not quite sure what’s going on, but you know for certain that you don’t recognize this girl who somehow recognizes you.

“i’m super sorry, how do i know you?” you ask gently, trying to not come across as rude.

two of the girls behind her look nervously amongst themselves, but the first girl simply keeps rambling as if she’s known you her whole life.

“oh my god, we play for UCLA, silly!”

“no way,” you hear sophia breathe behind you, her body instantly tensing. she stands up to step beside you, her body rigid as she puts some space between you and the first girl.

you’re not quite sure where her hostility is coming from— the girls seem harmless, and you never ended up joining them, so what’s the harm?

the girl curls her lip into a dramatic pout. “ugh, y/n, you didn’t want to join us? we could have been besties.”

you laugh gently, shaking your head. “thanks, but i’m happy where i am.”

“we wouldn’t have hurt you, you know?” she continues, her eyes pleading and sincere as she reaches out for your hand. “we would have been excited to have you.”

you’re about to laugh at the gesture, a drunk girl lamenting her missed friendship with you, but you’re shocked when sophia pushes the girl’s hand away, scowling at the group.

“you guys are psychos,” she hisses quickly. “i know about last year.”

you’re about to ask sophia what her deal is, but the girls’ faces all shift instantly. falling, hardening, narrowing their gazes at her. whatever sophia is talking about, it’s clearly a sore subject.

“that was an accident,” one of the girls says coldly, but sophia refuses to back down.

“accidents don’t blind one of your teammates in one eye,” she spits angrily, and you gasp hearing exactly the extent that the ucla team was infamous for. “that girl is never going to play again.”

the first girl, who seems truly sincere, gives sophia a pleading look. “they investigated it. it was honestly just a freak accident. we were playing a prank and it went wrong. pranks have never gone wrong for you guys?”

you turn to sophia, grabbing her by the wrist, your eyes wide in disbelief. “how did you know that?”

sophia finally snaps and takes your hand, shoving past the girls to pull you outside, away from the chaos of the party, away from the other girls’ prying eyes. her eyes are frenzied, her cheeks flushed from her anger, her lips parted as she tries to steady her breathing. you guys find a quiet corner in the backyard and she sits you down to talk.

“i asked around about their team. i know some other captains. the ucla pr team tried to keep it hush-hush, but word gets around when captains get in trouble. it’s insane that they can still play, i mean it’s so unfair and completely unethical—” she rambles, her voice raising with every sentence, and you realize your hands are still linked. 

“soph,” you cut her off gently, squeezing her hand, your voice soft. “soph, it’s okay.”

“i fucking hate them,” she finally spits out. it’s not often that you hear her swear, so the emphasis is enough to really drive the point home for you. she pauses, her voice softening, realizing she’s rambling angrily. she gives your hand a quick squeeze back, her head dropping. “i’m so glad you didn’t go with them.”

“me too,” you smile softly. “i’m right here, with you.”

she lets out another breath, running a hand through her hair. “i hope they fucking rot. can’t wait to beat their asses next season. god.”

“leader, you’re being a little too psycho,” you laugh, letting go of her hand to poke her cheek playfully. “earth to leader!”

but sophia doesn’t match your tone. she takes your hand once more in yours, her eyes burning with something so intense, it makes your heart ache. her dark gaze pierces into you, her tone dropping into something low. 

“y/n, you were always meant to be a cyclone,” she emphasizes.

“i agree,” you smile, cradling her hand in yours. “i was always meant to be here.”

“with me,” sophia breathes quietly.

you nod. “with you, soph.”

-

weeks go by, and a part of you is finding it easier and easier to ignore the gnawing feelings clawing through your chest. as long as you focus on the day by day, and don’t picture any part of the future or what it might look like with sophia, you’re totally fine.

yes, you guys are basically attached at the hip, and neither of you goes more than a few hours without texting each other, and yes you know her like the back of your hand and she knows you just the same, but it’s not your problem to unpack that right now. that’ll be a future you problem. for now, your sole focus is to just enjoy your life, pass your classes, and not make any decisions you’ll regret. 

so when megan invites you to go on a “best friend date” to a super nice restaurant just off-campus next to the beach, you figure it’ll be the perfect opportunity to spend a night focusing on something other than school and your soul-crushing devotion to sophia laforteza.

you don’t usually have a lot of excuses to wear your semi-formal clothes, but megan insisted you both go all out, so there you are, sitting on a bench outside the restaurant, waiting for the ginger to show up as she texts you that she’s a few minutes out.

and yet again, for what seems like the millionth time that semester, the too-familiar voice is over your shoulder.

“why are you so dressed up?”

you look up, and feel your breath hitch in your throat. she looks like an absolute angel, a floral purple top flowing off her shoulders, her hair in those perfect waterfalls down her back, her makeup done and her lips so shiny you swear you could see the sun beam off of them.

“why are you?” you barely manage to stammer, the smile coming out before you can even register it. 

“i’m here for-“ she starts.

“megan,” you both say at the same time. 

it clicks. of course it would be megan.

“where the hell is she?” you laugh. 

as if on cue, sophia’s phone rings. the brunette picks up and puts it on speaker, giving you an eyeroll as megan’s voice rings out.

“sorry guys! literally shitting myself right now. like it’s soooo bad. ah, ouch, darn.” she’s not even trying to convince you at this point, her rambles rattling like she’s trying to get a script out. “you have no clue, gotta sit this one out. huge bummer, sorry!”

“how did you know we were together?” sophia arches a brow. 

“i have both your locations.”

“were we both supposed to be your date?” you question.

“guess you’ll have to be each other’s date!” she chirps, much too giddy for someone who is supposedly that sick. “sorry again guys. take lots of pictures. love you tons!”

before sophia can reprimand her, the phone beeps with the call ending. she rolls her eyes and looks to you, and you simply smile back at her.

fucking megan. 

“how was she gonna afford a restaurant like this?” you laugh, as sophia holds the door open for you. you both take it in— a gorgeous restaurant with high ceilings, a live piano, even a crystal chandelier.

“i was going to pay for her. i assumed that’s why she invited me,” sophia shakes her head, following behind you.

“oh no, totally. i assumed the exact same thing,” you laugh.

the host nods politely and beckons for you both to follow him. “your reservation, ladies.”

you end up at a table right next to the window, the view of the malibu shoreline just over your shoulders. it’s breathtaking in a way you feel like you almost don’t deserve. the table has a tall candle and a single rose placed between you two, and everything about it screams romance. you feel stupid for not looking it up sooner— how would megan possibly have gotten away with claiming she wanted a casual friend date with you at this gorgeous, insanely romantic spot? it wouldn’t be the weirdest thing the girl has ever done, sure, but you can’t believe your girlfailure of a best friend was capable of getting both you and sophia to show up and fall victim to her plan so easily.

“this place is so nice,” sophia breathes, taking a seat across from you.

you stare quickly at the menu that your server sets down in front of you, sophia thanking him quickly with a smile. 

you blink over at the captain. “not gonna lie… i’m lowkey scared of the menu.”

she laughs, her features softening. “i pick something for you and you pick something for me?”

“you’re on,” you beam.

you chat mindlessly after you order and it feels easy, too easy, to fall back into this with sophia. to start imagining what it could be like to do this more often, to see her dressed up, to wonder what she’d look like if she’d dressed up for you, to tell her she’d be perfect even in her shorts and her favorite hoodie. you get lost in her dark brown eyes, in the way they crinkle when she smiles, in the way she laughs with her whole chest, so loudly sometimes, people stop to turn and look at her.

you don’t care. you get it. sophia is worth stopping the world for, just to admire.

your server places your dishes in front of you both, and you immediately look up at the captain. you see her eyes widen with excitement. 

“why’d you pick this for me?” she asks quickly, looking up at you as the server walks off.

you smile. “just thought you’d like it.”

“why?” she presses.

you pause, trying to dive in deeper, but there’s no better explanation than just the simple truth.

“i guess i just know you.”

she smiles back at you, something warm behind her eyes.

“funny. that was my rationale too.” 

-

you two waste the night away enjoying your dinner. she insists on paying, forever the gentlewoman, and you two step outside just as the sun has disappeared over the skyline. 

“we’re across the street from the beach,” she points out, motioning to the sand.

“at night?” you question.

“we can just walk,” she offers.

you nod, smiling. “okay. i’d love that.”

you always see sophia shift when you guys get to the sand. you remember her mentioning about how it reminds her of home. you wonder if you’ll ever get a chance to see it through her eyes.

you both take off your shoes, dipping your toes in the tiniest of waves that reach up to meet the sand. you’re walking side by side, the salt in the cool air filling your lungs. sophia’s hair never falls out of place even as it shifts in the breeze, forever perfect, as she always has been.

“y/n,” she says quietly. 

“sophia,” you answer, poking your tongue out at her playfully in response.

she smiles, but her face falls slightly as the silence goes on. her gaze drops to the sand, her brows furrowing. you can sense it. she’s trying to get the words out.

“i um…” she starts, clenching her jaw to try and conjure the right words for what she’s seeking.  “i’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to try.”

her apology catches you off guard. you guys haven’t talked about it since it happened, and you knew that was part of the agreement. you traded it off— sacrificing closure to maintain your friendship.

“don’t think about that,” you reassure her, reaching out to brush her arm gently. “it’s okay.”

she shakes her head, and you notice her lip trembling through it all. “it’s my fault though, i know it is.”

“don’t carry that with you,” you insist, giving her arm a squeeze. “i’ve had the best few months since then all because you’re in my life. i’m so lucky either way.”

“no, i feel the same way. i just thought you deserved an apology.” she looks at you, her eyes soft, and lets out a deep breath. “i went about it so, so wrong.”

you feel something shaking from deep inside you, something repressed unlodging itself from deep within your chest. you try to will it away, insisting on focusing in the moment. sophia is fixating, you know she is. this isn’t about you, this is about supporting sophia. you remind yourself of your purpose and insist on moving forward.

“you’ve already apologized. i forgive you,” you tell her gently. “forgive yourself, soph. we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.”

she nods, but the look in her eyes tells you she has more to say.

“y/n…” she starts.

the shaking within you stops, something snaps. you can’t do this. you’re not strong enough for whatever comes next. you need to focus on the right now, on the day to day. not on the lifetime ahead of you and wondering if you’ll still orbit around the sun that is sophia laforteza, at the center of your galaxy.

“sophia, please. let’s not do this again.” your voice is shaky, trembling as you stop her. “i can’t risk it.”

you look up, and her eyes are round, her brows furrowed, the concern written all over her face. she nods slowly, empathetically, kindly.

“i understand.”

“thank you, soph,” you breathe, stopping to catch your breath. she stops with you, and you figure you owe her at least a small explanation. “you’re my best friend. you have no idea how bad it’d hurt to be without you.”

silence. you’re met with gnawing, clawing silence. 

you can’t tell if she’s thinking or if you’ve said enough. you chose your words carefully, certain to ensure you wouldn’t cross any lines that you couldn’t come back from, and you feel confident knowing you guys will be okay. your friendship will remain in tact. you’ll get to keep her in your life. it’s fine, you think. you’re okay with this, with the silence, with the uncertainty, as long as it guarantees today with sophia. you’ll take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if you must.

a hand reaches for you. a single, shaking hand.

sophia, perfect, confident sophia, who never cracks under pressure, reaches a trembling hand out to you, taking your hand in hers.

“y/n.”

your name sounds so beautiful coming out of her mouth, gentle, sincere.

“yeah?” you’re too scared to look at her, but she insists.

she ducks her head down, tilting slightly, forcing your gaze to meet hers. her words come out slowly, nervously, like she’s been holding onto them in her coat pocket and is now unfolding them, hoping they still work.

“i’d like to try.”

you blink, uncertain of what you’re hearing. “what?”

“maybe it would be worth it to risk it all.” her voice is shaky, but her eyes never leave yours. dark, sincere, intense. all the things you know of sophia to be true, laid out bare before you. “if you’ve taught me anything, it’s that there’s beauty in trying over and over.”

“soph…” you start, but she cuts you off with a shake of her head.

“you tried for me. even when i pushed you away, you kept trying, and in the process, i fell in love with you.” she pauses, as if she’s said something wrong, but instead of overthinking it, she simply presses on, eager to get it all out. “that’s got to be worth something. you know it, and i do too.”

your head is spinning. nevermind what sophia is suggesting, nevermind the way she’s holding your hands, nevermind what she’s confessing. you’re too scared of the what-if’s to even let yourself glimpse into the future. 

“soph, what if we—” you start, but she cuts you off once more.

“i think the ‘what if’s’ are irrelevant. you saw something in me that i couldn’t. and i know i hurt you, and i made you distrustful of me, but i see something that you can’t. i see something so incredibly beautiful if we’re both willing to take that risk. can you see that?”

she pauses, deliberating, before her hand comes up to cup your cheek, holding it in her palm. the crash of the waves behind you makes your pulse ring even louder in your ears, the contact nearly setting you on fire.

“i’m asking you to see what i see,” she tells you, her eyes burning into yours. “take a chance. let me show you.”

“sophia,” your voice is shaking, your pulse throbbing throughout every vein in your body. your body screams out to be close to her, and you can’t think of anything else. 

“i want to kiss you,” she blurts, almost exactly like the first time, her hand tightening against your cheek, her gaze scanning every inch of your face. “i want to fix everything that i got wrong the first time around.”

it strikes you then. the gravity you feel, pulling you towards her at any given chance. is there any possibility she was being pulled to you too? does the sun simply pull, or does it dance, watching the celestial bodies spin around it? does the sun let itself be lonely at the center of it all, or does it shine to pull someone in, to warm them, to give them a place to bask in the light? 

could sophia need you, just as much as you realize you need her?

“i’m going to want to keep kissing you,” you admit, letting the last of your apprehensions melt away. “so you’ll have to be okay with that.”

“i’m willing to try,” she nods eagerly, her lips curling up into a smile, her other hand coming up to take both your cheeks in her palms. “and i’ll keep trying until we get it right.”

the gravity takes over between you both. slowly, gently, and with the waves lapping at your feet, the world stands still as you get a second chance at a first kiss with sophia laforteza.

-

sophia’s hand never leaves yours as you stroll into the dining hall for breakfast with the girls the next morning.

you sit side by side, megan and manon both glued to their phones as they play battleship against each other. megan doesn’t notice the hand holding. megan doesn’t notice the fact that sophia is wearing your hoodie. megan doesn’t even notice that you guys are sitting side by side, leaning against each other. 

you realize you may have to ramp up your pda to get her attention. 

“hold on,” you grin, motioning to sophia, before you plant a gentle peck on her cheek.

the smacking sound is enough to snap megan out of her fixation on the phone, her eyes darting to the two of you instantly.

“woah!” she screeches, jumping up to nearly stand on the chair. “bro, what the fuck! was that tongue?”

“megan, it was a kiss on the cheek,” sophia rolls her eyes, and you burst out laughing at how megan always manages to get underneath the captain’s skin.

“are you guys trolling me?” the ginger narrows her eyes, glancing around at the rest of the girls, who all stare back at her innocently. she glares at you, before pointing to sophia. “no way. kiss on the lips right fucking now.”

sophia shakes her head, clearly not eager to play any of megan’s weird games, but you grin and reach for the captain anyways. she grumbles for a brief moment, but she appeases you, and you feel her perfect lips curl up into a smile as they meet yours. it’s quick, tender and gentle, but it’s enough to leave megan with her chin nearly glued to the floor as her mouth drops in disbelief.

“since when?” she barks irritatedly. 

“since last night,” manon sing-songs, grinning devilishly. “what, you don’t check the group chat any more?”

megan furrows her brows, snatching up her phone instantly before her eyes blow wide. “oh what the fuck? you guys removed me from the groupchat?!”

“okay, who did that?” sophia rolls her eyes, glaring at the rest of the team as dani and lara burst out laughing. “no, not funny, now she’s gonna whine about it for the rest of our lives.”

“are you fucking kidding me?” megan rants, throwing her hands up into the air. “do you know how much effort i put into setting you guys up? do you know how many plans i schemed to make sure you guys ended up together? i was literally prepared to do this until the day i fucking died.”

manon claps her hands, motioning between you and sophia. “well, as of last night, they’re official.”

“how the fuck am i last to know?” megan whines, tossing her head back. 

“if it’s any consolation, i actually think you were first to figure it out,” sophia admits.

she wraps an arm around your shoulders and you melt into her. you hope you’ll get lucky enough to spend a lifetime basking in her warmth. she looks down at you and smiles. you smile back. 

your favorite view, up close, hopefully forever. 

[nobodyfamousposts]

A bit of a random question : how would you imagine the events of BURN THE WITCH! happening in the Scarlet Lady continuity - assuming Lila is just as bad as in Canon?

@zoe-oneesama, since you are part of this, too.

SO.

I had a whole thing written up. A whole thing. And it was so awesome! I was so proud and happy with it. I was one paragraph away from being done and posting my glorious synopsis for the world to see. And then the screen refreshed, and I lost it all.  DX

So here’s my slightly less awesome description of the idea that I had to try and recover through memory. Fallible inferior memory of what could’ve been:

So if we’re ignoring Lila’s development and how glorious it would be to have Witch Hunter targeting Scar at the climax of the fall of her popularity, this would be a little more difficult to work with. Difficult, but still very much doable.

There are two ways it could work.

The first would be that Scar DIDN’T out Lila to the entire class so no one besides Chloe knows Lila is a liar. Perhaps the lazy option and closest to Canon, but it still works better than the Canon setup. Chloe would try to tell people that Lila is a liar and it would make sense that no one believes her because…well…it’s Chloe. She’s a known liar herself. AND a bully.

Of course, there’s still the matter of Adrien falling into jerk territory for not telling anyone that Lila is a liar, but given that this IS Scarlet Lady Adrien, we can arguably attribute his poor decision-making to his lack of sleep and added stress from solo hero duty. As such, I’m willing to give this iteration of him a break for not wanting to deal with the added drama between two girls he doesn’t want to be around anyway. Plus, it would be hilarious to see Chloe and Lila sabotaging themselves sabotaging each other in their attempts to rule the class and “win” him, only for each episode to end with Adrien hanging out with Marinette or Nino, because the boy deserves nice things and I live for the bromance.

The second option would be that Lila is outted but fakes her redemption arc.

After all, the classmates are naturally very easily forgiving of people. And Lila is a new student. All she would have to do is apologize and make up some claims, and they would totally be on board with still being friends.

Sure, they would take any of her future lies with a grain of salt, but that would only be her tall tales. Specifically her lies about connections and fame and the lies meant to make her seem “bigger than life“. That wouldn’t quite be the case for the lies made to make her seem weak and vulnerable. Especially if she kickstarts her new brand of manipulation by being just that.

“I’m SO sorry! *sobsob* I was so nervous being the new girl in a new school, and I was scared you wouldn’t like me. And you all are so cool that I wanted to be as amazing as you. *sob* I didn’t mean to hurt anyone! Could you ever forgive me? *sadface*”

And you know they would. Which would make for a particularly sinister form of emotional manipulation as she plays up the remorseful act. “I understand if you don’t believe me. It’s okay if you don’t forgive me yet.” Which would immediately invoke reassurance that of course they believe her and of course they forgive her! Which would distract from her current manipulations and suspicious behaviors. Emotional appeals are like that—focus on feelings and respond to those feelings instead of facts or truth.

And since Lila is “working so hard to be better”, of course they would want to support her in her efforts. Such as say, charity work. She may not go so far as to make up a charity like she did in the OG BURN THE WITCH!, but she can collect funds…which can then “mysteriously disappear” on the way to their final destination.

Meanwhile, Chloe would be the only one actively against it, which would make her a character for Lila to work off of. Nothing makes a liar look good like having someone else look like a bully. And Chloe’s attempts to out Lila for her manipulations wouldn’t get anywhere since it would be brushed off as Chloe being vindictive and not forgiving Lila over a past petty issue that everyone else has already moved on from. Which works both in and out of story because it is true. Right for the wrong reasons and all.

Unfortunately, this does mean that Chloe would get to do the “I Told You So” Dance when Lila does eventually pull her final stunt and gets caught.

Which would lead to Witch Hunter. It could be Rose again, though since the charity would be verified and she would be dating Ali this go around, he wouldn’t likely be mad or blame Rose for being deceived so she may feel less like her world is ripped out from under her. Mylene would also be an option as given her activism and involvement in the community, it’s something she would take seriously. It could even be Ivan or one of the boys. I’m not picky!

There are options!

So regardless, SOMEone is getting akumatized to burn a witch. 

…which would lead to two major problems in story.

The first, of course, would be that Scar is our Ladybug hero and she would happily let Lila burn. This girl intentionally led akumas to Marinette TWICE previously in the comic and also tried to hand her over to zombies another time—not even as a sacrifice or needed act to protect herself but simply out of pure spite. You KNOW she would get Lila caught immediately. She wouldn’t even be affected by the akuma. She would just hand her over and watch the show.

The second problem is that depending on when this takes place in the comic timeline, Marinette may not yet be Marigold. And since she wasn’t the one to out Lila, depending on which of the earlier mentioned to out Lila or not to out Lila versions we take, she may not be already aware of the depth of Lila‘s selfishness, which would make her susceptible to Witch Hunter and likely make her a part of the angry mob...assuming she doesn’t get akumatized into Witch Hunter herself.

Which means it would be up to Chat. A very tired, incredibly stressed out, and just about “done with this sh**” Chat. To save someone he hates from consequences she arguably deserves. All while resisting the urge to cataclysm her himself. 

Especially if she’s wasting time trying to manipulate him. Especially especially if Marinette follows the role of her self from the OG and tries to help Lila only for Lila to pull another “sudden but inevitable betrayal” and try to leave Marinette to the mercy of the mob.

His responses are open for debate at this point.

On the one hand, being the main hero and already hating Lila would grant him protection from the control effect so he could still save the day. And I imagine he would be SIGNIFICANTLY more terrifying than Ladybug was in the aftermath. See Ladybug’s “I will follow you around and make your life exceedingly unpleasant using the circumstances you have created and brought upon yourself” To The Pain vs Chat’s “Let me describe to you what Cataclysm can do to the human body. In detail.” Real Horror with serious implications and be careful with what you try to touch in the future *politesmile*.

…on the other hand, it amuses me to imagine Chat gets affected and helps stop Witch Hunter anyway. Either because he’s just that resigned to the job, because he sees Scar wants Lila burned and even when he’s under the akuma’s influence he still despises Scar more, or because Marinette remains sane and manages to navigate him to help either through cunning or out of his love for her.

……on the other OTHER hand, we were denied an akumatized Marinette in the comic and this could be a way to do it. Chat stays sane and ends up convincing Akumanette to stop out of her love for him to be the bigger person. Yes. Totally.

Chat: (Hugs Akumanette)

Marinette: (Deakumatizes)

Scar: (In background) Booooo. Laaaaame.

Lila: (Tied to a pole) Still tied up here!

Chat: Eh, you’ll be fine.

And since Akumanette is defeated and everyone is freed from the mob control with her defeat, there’s no need for the Cure. So we get the festival still set up and Chat and Mari can have a date.

And they may or may not leave Lila tied up while they do. Plus Lila is still left drenched in Seine water. So all in all, not a pleasant experience. And ultimately, she ends up in the same boat she was at the end of the original story, which I think is what everyone really wanted anyway.

Sadly, that includes Chloe. She will count it as a victory and be bragging about it for a while. A long while. 

But she’ll be getting hers soon enough anyway, so it will all work out.

[gay-dorito-dust]

ABBY ONE SHOT PLEASEEE!!! thank you!! 😊

'Stupid Abby distracting me with his stupid abs and his stupid flexing, what's taking him so long.' You grumbled as you made your way to the couch, arms full of sweetsnacks, once again making your supossed issues for the man known to the audience of no one but yourself; Yet you knew better as you knew the truth. He was five mintues late, again.

Recently you swore that the chisled ruby pink haired man had developed a weird habbit for always flexing his muscles whenever you were nearby, almsot as though he had a sixth sense for when you happened to be in the vicinity, where he would lay in wait in the most weirdest pose you have ever seen as he tries his hardest to flex the buttons off of his intentionally tight fitting shirt. You didn't think much of it at first, finding a man so obsessed with his own physique to be a man you never should hold up a mirror to him, fearing that he'd fall in love with his own reflextion like the vain person he was.

Now however it seemed as though it was something he would do to get your reaction, of which he was yet to earn, while all you wanted was to be left alone for more then five minutes but Abby didn't seem to understand the notion of not needing to constantly be within the publics atention. Yet the one thing you were still wondering was why it was always you that Abby seemed to keep doing this to, sure he did it whenever he saw the opertunity to, but it was always you that seemed to have to endure his never ending need to flex what he's got.

'He definitly likes you.' Zoey said to you once and you scoffed.

'Who? Abby? The man is more in love with the idea he can break off the buttons of every shirt he owned,' You replied, finding the notion ridiculous, yet somewhere within you wanted to hold out hope that was the truth, even if it was a small amount, 'He doesn't like me because he's only doing this for an reaction, not because he geuninely likes me in the slightest.'

'But he does!' Zoey continues her claims as she grips your arm. 'He always looks at you when he does it and totally gets huffy when you don't look his way, so he tries to stand closer to you in hopes that would work, only to get huffy again when you don't show a slightest amount of interest in him.' This was true as you could remebered how often his shoulder would brush up your own, yet you forced yourself into not giving in and looking at him and instead kept your gaze elsewhere, it wasn't as though you were trying to play hard to get for you weren't trying anything at all but minding your own buissness.

You kept Zoey's words in mind and would notice that Abby would try to stand closest to you as he physcially could, daring to throw his arm over your shoulder on some occasions, but didn't do much else then throw a couple of winks and smirks your way that made you wish you were at home in comfty pyjama's and eat food you probaly shouldn't but did becuase it's disgustingly too good to ignore.

Anytime he would ask what you were planning on doing later, you'd only shrug and say; 'Stay at home, watch movies and shows i've now been spoiled on thanks to the internet, and be left alone since i've done enough social interaction for one lifetime.' You could've just said you were a major homebody but just felt the need to add onto it for some weird need to over share what it was that you would be doing.

Which leads you to your current perdicament as you sat on the couch, dressed in your comfiest pyjamas you could find within the depths of your room, just about ready to start your first film and delve into your stash of snacks when you forgot one important thing and were about to call for him until you felt two strong arms drap over your shoulders.

'Were you about to start movie night without me? i thought we agreeded that we wouldn't start the movie without the other.' Abby says as he kisses your head, smiling as you look at him with a faux look of annoyance.

'Not if you were trying to flex your pyjama shirt off again, you snoze you loose if you miss the first five minutes of the movie and become confused on what's happening plotwise.' You replied as Abby slips his arms off of you and moved to sit down next to you, bringing you into his side before opening his mouth, looking at you expectantly.

'What?' you asked.

'Treat.' Abby replied. 'feed me a treat.'

'lazy.' You muttered playfully under your breath as you plucked a jellybean, pulling your fingers away just before he could playfully nip at your fingers.

'Heard that.' Abby said as he pinched your side but kept you close with a strong grip so you couldn't get away from him, instead accepting your fate as you rest your head against his chest as the first movie of many began to play.

You and Abby had been dating for months and you couldn't have been happier for inviting him over to watch a movie a while back, now it was something that has become that you two did together.

[vaspider]

Yeah, this argument doesn't make any sense. Do you really think that the art you're asking to have made is something that's just never been conceived of before, or do you think it's the output of an artist who has drawn hundreds if not thousands of similar images in the past?

When I commission one of my favorite artists to draw me a picture of my character, I do it bc I know that Fofo has drawn thousands of human beings and hundreds of human beings for Chronicles of Darkness games. That's why they're good at it. They're going to take the pizza dough of understanding how to draw a human body bc they've done it thousands of times, the sauce of knowing how to give a human being inhuman teeth and vulpine/canine/feline eyes bc they've done it hundreds of times, the cheese of drawing Chronicles of Darkness mages forming yantras with their hands bc they've done it lots of times, and the artichoke hearts and spinach of knowing my particular character bc they've been in this chronicle for 5 years with us, and put it in the oven of their brain and pop it out when it's hot, fresh, and cute.

The idea that you're paying an artist to create something completely new as if they're creating a totally new recipe from scratch is... simply not accurate. As someone who does custom art for people all the time, it is very, very, very much like making someone a pizza, and everyone I make custom art for benefits from the fact that I've made an awful lot of pizzas over the last 25+ years.

I didn't make a value comparison between McDonald's & a sit-down restaurant. I'm not humoring that or responding to it further because that's not the argument I made.

Please reblog. :)

[allpiesforourown]

Okay but now we have to hear it: why did YOU hate jc initially

reason i didn't like him -> how i feel about it now

he didn't do anything about wei wuxian being abused by his mother -> he was just a kid and also a child of neglect and it didn't make sense for me to blame him for something someone else did

I also hated Madame yu a lot at first so i got annoyed that he grieved her so much -> not sure what i was cooking there, no shit a child will be sad about their parent dying even if they weren't a good person

His envy of wei wuxian -> totally understandable, having insecurities is human and makes him interesting

he didn't appreciate wei wuxian giving him his core -> he literally did not know about it???

jiang cheng fans are annoying -> jiang cheng fans are actually the least annoying because theyre able to handle complex and imperfect characters unlike every other mdzs fan LMAO

anyway. here's live jiang cheng reaction while i was reading the last book:

[silentcaps]

They found out someone hurt you

tags: hurt/comfort, reader trauma, protective partner

cast: cyno, razor, scaramouche x fem!reader

tw: emotional distress, implied harassment

side b: barbara, diluc, itto

CYNO

His colleagues glance at him and smile — like they already know everything. Even the things he doesn’t. Cyno is surprised that bits and pieces of the situation reach him through work chatter, the noise of the Grand Bazaar, and even from patrols deep in the forest — but never from you. It’s as if you don’t trust him enough to share your troubles. And even if that thought cuts deeper than he lets on, Cyno respects your choice and doesn’t bring it up himself. Instead, to keep from overthinking and spiraling, he throws himself into tracking the perpetrator — a real hunt. After all, no one escapes justice when it comes from the General Mahamatra.

Still, he can’t avoid the subject entirely. When he sees you again, he mentions that the criminal has been caught, hoping it’ll bring you some relief. But what he sees instead is pain flickering across your face — and that stuns him.

“Did I do something wrong? Should I not have gotten involved?”

He doesn’t understand your reaction. Maybe he should’ve stayed close, offered comfort instead? But it seemed like you were keeping the issue from him on purpose — to process it in your own space and time.

“I thought… it would hurt your reputation. You care about it so much…”

When Cyno hears the anxious thoughts you’ve been wrestling with all this time, something shifts. He cups your cheeks, catches your gaze, and says with quiet certainty:

“No, of course not… I wouldn’t turn my back on you just to protect my reputation. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Though not someone used to touch, Cyno opens his arms for you — and doesn’t let go until you’re the one to pull away.

RAZOR

Raised by the laws of the wild, Razor doesn’t quite understand why what happened has shaken you so deeply. But he tries to comfort you. Slowly, step by step, he moves closer and tilts his head, gently nudging your shoulder like a she-wolf nuzzling her pup. The silence that follows — your total lack of response — unsettles him more than anything else in the world. A low whine, full of frustration at his own helplessness, escapes from his chest. Razor curls up at your feet, keeping just enough distance to not intrude, but refusing to leave your side. Whatever caused this pain doesn’t matter to him right now. What matters is that you’re hurting. And he’s made it his duty to bring back your sunshine smile and that voice that rings like a bell.

Later, Razor goes to Lisa with questions. After a patient and thorough explanation, after the truth settles in, his fists clench until his knuckles turn white, and his teeth grind together. He grabs his claymore, ready to tear the whole city apart if that’s what it takes to find the monster responsible. He doesn’t fully understand why, but the image of someone’s hands touching you without your permission drives him insane. There’s nothing he can do about it — not directly — but Lisa promises to look into it and talk to Jean to make sure no one else gets hurt.

He returns to your home. The curtains are drawn, everything’s untouched, and you’re buried under heavy blankets. It’s clear you haven’t left your room or eaten all day. Razor sits on the edge of the bed to let you know he’s there, and in a voice cracked with emotion, he says the only thing that feels right:

“I only have Lupical. I protect my Lupical. No one hurt. I fight for Lupical. Keep safe. I want make you feel good. Food gives strength. Makes happy. I make meat. Tasty smell.”

SCARAMOUCHE

Scaramouche doesn’t deal well with tears. During arguments, the moment he notices them, he either sends you away or walks off himself. It doesn’t make him a terrible person — some emotions just hit too hard and leave him feeling powerless.

“Calm down and explain it properly, I can’t make sense of your whining.”

That line comes up a lot. Not because he wants to hurt you — but because that’s how he tries to get to the point and help. Fix the problem. Give you money. Beat someone up. But not offer soft words. And definitely not hugs.

But today is different. Your cheeks are soaked in tears, and you don’t even seem to notice. You’re staring off, empty. Scaramouche forces himself to step closer. He asks what happened. And as he pieces together the broken parts of your story, something inside him snaps. Some pathetic insect thought they had the right to touch you — the parts of you that belong to him, wholly and without question.

Between shaky breaths, you confess that you can still feel it — those touches clinging to your skin like filth that won’t wash off.

“Show me where.”

His cool, familiar fingers follow wherever you point. He presses, massages, grounding you with each motion. Then he leans in and kisses every inch of skin you marked, slow and deliberate — replacing the memory of someone else's hands with his own, painting over it, erasing it.

“Imagine it’s only me touching you. Nothing else. No one else.”

He’ll find the bastard later — drag them out from under the earth if he has to — but right now, helping you is all that matters.

[guillotinesandroses]

Don't Get Distracted

Summary; Somewhat suggestive. Silly and kinda self-indulgent thoughts I had, don't remember where this quote is originally from. Obey Me characters reacting to MC saying: "As a wise man once said; don't let the fact that I'm not okay in the head distract you from my tits." 

Lucifer is not particularly amused, but is slightly concerned. A part of him gets a bit flustered at how boldly you decided to draw attention to your chest. That level of confidence may be somewhat admirable, he supposes. Either way, he assumes you are trying to communicate something to him even if it is in a joking manner, so he teases and asks you about it at the same time. "Although they are admittedly rather distracting, are you certain there is nothing you need to speak to me about?" 

Mammon jumps, believing he's finally been caught. His face darkens as he tries to come up with excuses. Only after he's opened his mouth does your full sentence sink in. "Huh?! I totally wasn't getting distracted by your tits, but are you okay? Y'know, The Great Mammon will always be here to ease your breasts- I mean, stress!" 

Leviathan asks if you are trying to kill him. You can't just say that out of nowhere! He hides his blushing face behind his hand and stammers a response. "I know you said not to get distracted by it... but I want you to rely on me instead of taking the attention away from your problems with your... with your-! Ahem, I understand if you don't want to share your problems with me, but I want to be here for you, like you've been here for me." 

Satan's brows raise as his eyes flick to you. He takes it as some sort of code he's meant to solve, wondering if this is a weird way of flirting or asking for help. In the end he just asks you. "Erm... what exactly do you mean by that? Please take your problems seriously, I want you to be in good health." 

Asmodeus coos at your declaration, finding your boldness absolutely adorable! It's not like you're saying that for nothing though, you do have an amazing pair of tits. Before dwelling on the other part of the sentence, he makes sure his thoughts are known. "My, my, please tell me this an invitation to admire them! I'd love to accept, though don't think this is gonna get you out of our earlier self-care conversation, darling!" 

Beelzebub isn't quite sure what you are getting at. Sure, he loves every part of your body and would like to chew on them. Still, he's much more worried about your mental wellbeing, even if you ask him not to question it. "Are you alright? I know you've told me not to worry, but I can't help it sometimes..." 

Belphegor hums, a bit amused, then shamelessly faceplants straight into them. If you say so, he's going to take the opportunity to indulge himself. After lulling you into a false sense of security, he strikes. "Mhm... this is nice. Anyway, about what you said earlier- hey, don't try to squirm away now, I won't let you." 

Diavolo bursts out laughing; what an amusing sentence! He wonders what kind of human originally said it. Given how nonchalant you were, he assumes it was merely a joke and you are fine. "If that's what you wish, I suppose I cannot deny you! Still, I would like to hear more about how you are faring in the Devildom. As long as you are here you are my responsibility, and there is no way I can have one of my exchange students ending up in poor health!" 

Barbatos doesn't exactly get surprised but chuckles anyway. You're just a gift that keeps giving, aren't you? Dull moments are ancient history with you around and he wants to keep it that way, though that talk can be saved for another time. "Ah, how charming. Not to worry, my focus is not one to break easily." 

Solomon chuckles, what an intriguing mind you have. He wants to assume you are flirting, hopelessly optimistic. However, he also knows you have a lot on your plate right now and it wouldn't be in the best interests of either one of you to let this be played off as just a joke. "Is that an invitation? How kind of you... but don't think I will follow your instructions on this, my dear apprentice." 

Simeon is flustered but quick to compose himself. Yes, this is something he is quite familiar with. Some humans like to filter their pain through humor, which sometimes shows in slightly more... impure ways. If it were any other human he'd have no problem handling this, but even though it's you, he will try to move forward with grace, chuckling awkwardly. "Sorry, but I can't let you get away with this. Now, about those therapy sessions..." 

Mephistopheles stutters. What... what exactly are you trying to convey, human?! It doesn't matter what you say here, he will view humans as a whole as even weirder creatures than before. He wonders if this is some sort of flirting ritual and overthinks himself into a hole. Rejects you fashionably due to his position or whatever. "I understand why you would feel smitten in my presence, but we simply exist in different leagues. Also, the state of your mind is concerning. Please fix it at your earliest convenience if you wish to keep associating with the future king." 

The only indication of surprise Raphael shows is a raise of eyebrows. Yes, he is familiar with this sort of trickery from humans. How bothersome... he barely acknowledges the comment, trying to press the issue of what burdens you. He doesn't pry, but has no intention of letting you make a mockery out of your own suffering. "I see... sorry, but I have no intention of following that order. Anyway, is there anything you'd like to talk about?" 

Thirteen lets out a delighted giggle. If you insist, she won't get distracted from your tits! Even so, she doesn't intend on just letting that implication slide. Your soul must remain perfect for her, so whatever it is weighing it down, you better tell her! "C'mon... you can't expect me to fall for such an obvious trap! Now spit it out: what's on your mind, hm?" 

[meanbossart]

Kind of piggybacking off of the anon who asked about DU Drow's "birth" and your answer to that: A kind of fun and terrible thing about the majority of Forgotten Realms gods is that they're essentially physically incapable of acting on or understanding anything outside of their representative portfolios. So like. For example: Bhaal, who's portfolio of Murder also generally includes -cruelty- and -suffering-, is going to be motivated permanently towards creating those things in everything he does, even against himself directly. Nobody is exempt, even the gods, and it causes a lot of conflict between them. Ao (FR's "God of God's") designed them that way to achieve what he perceives as a sense of balance. So like...there's no "reasoning" with them ever. It's not stubbornness or willful disagreement. They literally CAN'T see outside of the traits they represent. Actually, I lied: There are a FEW of them who can. A small handful of current canon gods were allowed to keep their "mortal perspective" (which ALSO causes a lot of problems!) and so can see outside of the boundaries of their portfolios and reason or loophole around that. Mystra for example is one of those, but not the one we see in BG3. Larian retconned her to a different earlier version of her because the current one is a totally different person who wouldn't have facilitated Gale's plotline. But I'm derailing myself! :I Anyway, all that to say that I absolutely LOVE the way you handle Drow's birth. We can all write whatever we want forever, it's just fiction, but it does tickle my brain in all the right places when I see an artist really embracing all the ugly, gross, foolish, and unflattering elements of the canon gods. Especially Bhaal, since he is in fact such a blindly cruel disastrous moron actually, and not some dark brooding sexy criminal mastermind. Thank you for embracing the nastiness and gifting us with DU Drow in this world, and I'm so glad he survived the conditions of his birth! XD

(This is in reference to this ask!)

YEAH, I really like the very much fallible aspect of the gods in DnD! Whether one would like to ascribe it to stubbornness or a much more cut and dry absence of perspective, I very much enjoy that pretty much all of them (regardless of alignment) have these glaring logical pitfalls. I go back and forth between interpreting it as a reflection of human failure or, again, as an obvious consequence of the narrow roles they're obligated to play, but either way it leaves you with a really fun space to play in.

It's clearly inspired by greek/roman mythos where the cosmos may as well have been a really raunchy and unbelievably violent soap-opera - and as one of many kids who was obsessed with those legends, it really tickles my brain to have that incorporated here.

Also, don't get me wrong, I love to moan and complain about how Shar makes absolutely no sense to me - but that's the thing, every single day we are exposed to people who've bought into the most inscrutable of beliefs, so I wouldn't want every god in the realms' actions to make sense or for their dogma to be an "easy sell" - that's not how people or faith works, after all!

[trannyradfem]

Thank you for numbering is because that genuinely does make it a lot easier to respond to.

1.) Yes, I am interacting with real people... who are complete and total strangers. Something I wasn't able to get to in my prior post, but is integral to my belief system, is that nobody can rely solely on external validation to feel ok about themselves; that is not healthy, nor is it a happy way to live. Been there, and done that, because that's what the trans community passively teaches in it's understandable desperation to be humanized by the general public. But you can't keep that mindset forever. It's absolute hell, it's not true activism, and you don't realize all that until you've grown strong enough to the point where things like this don't hurt you anymore. Because all you will feel and see is the pain until then. Not being able to see it doesn't make it any less true. I don't want you to be in pain. I want you to have such a strong sense of self that criticism from a stranger no longer feels like a punch to the gut.

My opinions should not dictate your life or harm you to the extent you're suggesting. I want you to block me if that's the case... and also invite you to curate your online experience more strictly while you take the space and time required to heal from the inherent damage being a constant political target AND suffering from dysphoria inevitably does to us. Being harmed that easily doesn't have to be your permanent reality; it's something that can be improved with resilience training, trauma processing, and being willing to give yourself the opportunity to grow. I wish I could, but I can't do that for you. I can try to tell you how if you're willing to listen. This does involve harsh truths.

You are responsible for curating your own online experience. If posts like these upset you, you can easily block them, and there's nothing wrong wit doing that. You don't need to fight 24/7 in order to be a proper activist-- you will only burn yourself out. If you want to know how to thoroughly block RF content, I don't mind making a post tutorial in order to make that accessible.j But I am not personally responsible for shielding you or anyone else from the things that make you feel bad. I have just as much right to post my thoughts as you do.

This criticism I have is about the scope of the situation, and how it's often exagerrated in order to assign shame and guilt, and ultimately silence opposition. A prime example is how a common response is to tell people they are "literally killing trans women" by... something as insignificant as posting a blog post on their own personal blog. If you think that criticism is an attack on marginalized people overall, then you are proving my point.

2.) Again with the assumptions. You know what TIF stands for, right? "Trans identified female". There is nothing inherently derogatory about that, although you're correct; many RFs DO use it that way. I don't involve myself in spaces where RFs cannot take criticism on that. I don't like hypocrites, afterall. You can't say you're fighting for women when you select specific groups of people you see as women to insult and demean over a genuine medical condition. Thankfully, there are a LOT of radfems who aren't hypocrites about this, and merely use it because they have gripes with how the trans community frames transition. I've found that many of those who feel the strongest about this lived as trans for significant portions of their lives.

In my bio, it's "FTM or TIF or whatever the fuck else you want to call me" in a tone of sarcasm, because if I say it first, it takes away that power for others to use it to insult me. You understand the concept of reclaiming slurs, right? Why am I not allowed to do that?

You also assume the pain you hold when that term is directed at you is the same exact feeling I experience. But it simply isn't; like I said, when you grow resilience (and genuinely stop giving a fuck about what online strangers have to say about you, that just comes with the territory of recovering from being doxxed multiple times), it doesn't hurt anymore. It's hardly a mosquito bite; with zero itching.

But maybe you can use this to understand why I personally hate the word "qu##r", and how it's used as an umbrella term instead of a personal identifier. It's a hard word to like when it's been directed at you countless times while someone beats the shit out of you, or worse, for being gay or trans. Strangely enough, I've never been called a "TIF" irl or during these events. Maybe the youth is different nowadays-- I will admit as an adult I am very disconnected from what goes on in the lives of those who are currently teens. I am open to hearing about your experiences, if that's something you feel inclined to do because I'm missing something here.

Lastly on this topic, I have the right to decide my own label. Pretty sure this belief is integral to most trans rights activists so I'm genuinely confused as to why it's even an issue. If another FTM wants to call himself a "fagdyke" and is comfortable with that, and the trans community generally accepts that, why can't I use "TIF" as one of many (sarcastic) descriptors for myself? Afterall, I'd be lying if I said it isn't somewhat reflective of my own self image. I am simply someone who was born female, who also transitioned. That reflects that.

More specifically, I have a lot of trauma that is exclusive to the female reproductive system and how the medical system treats AFABs overall, and also forms of misogyny that's exclusively rooted in birth sex. To deny my birth sex feels invalidating, like everything I went through never happened at all. Like the excruciating pain of my dysphoria never existed at all or shaped my life the way it did. And I hate that.

My survival and subsequent recovery is a accumulation of my own decisions, and trusting myself. Something I was told constantly by countless abusers that I cannot and should not do. I was also often told that my abuse was not abuse, or that it simply didn't happen, by many, many people, because I was raised in a cultlike environment. My happiness and health in current day is an absolute testament to just how wrong they were. I am female, that is a part of me. That is what makes me transmasc, afterall. It's a unique struggle like any trans struggle is. But so is my transition, it's just as much a part of me, too. And I love both of these truths about myself, because they are who I am.

I don't really fit into a box, and never have. Most labels the trans community has come up with do not describe me. At all. And sometimes, trans identified female simply describes all of that without having to say all that. Because that's what it means to me. Oddly enough, as much as that sounds very trans centered as far as values go, you're the first person who's ever had an issue with it. RFs don't even blink at it because they often go through my blog first to see where I'm coming from, as I have a unique perspective that isn't seen super often publically. They seem to get it without me needing to directly explain it, because those who are RFs often have suffered greatly due to sex based forms of oppression. They just get it, despite potential ideological conflicts. I'm just genuinely suprised you don't, on some level.

To further clarify, I am seen very positively in my social circles, by cis and trans people alike. I mean, I'm a licensed healthcare professional, that comes with the territory, but my reputation is not based on that alone. I've told my trans friends about how I dream of opening my own clinic that specializes in care for trans people, and the type of resources I'd invest into. All of them, even the ones that could come off as controversial. Even friends I've not gotten super close to, and have the total opposite view points from me, have truly touched my heart by cheering me on and telling me I'm the right person to do it. I am often well loved and accepted by the company I choose to be around and open up to.

Similarly, I guide and educate my cis peers-- including countless MDs and parents at this point-- on what being trans is like, and why so many of us can be so very mean sometimes. Because we are hurting, too, and often silently. Because we are casually traumatized constantly. Because we are hurt frequently without reprieve, and then it's justified by the media. Because we are hurt and betrayed by our friends and families when we come out, and no matter what we do, sometimes we can't get it through to them that allowing us to be at peace with our identities is what will truly bring us happiness and self worth. Because we are judged unfairly and by unrealistic standards. And so many, many more reasons that most cis people genuinely need to have explained to them in order to "get it", because they haven't had their lives ever submerged in that before. But once they hear it?

They come to the understanding that constant pain like that is enough to make anyone afraid of being hurt again, and defensive, snappy, and coming off as "mean" to people who simply do not get it. I break it down in a way that makes sense to them, the same way I'm trying to explain my thoughts to you. They're usually pretty amenable to this, and I have been repeatedly regarded as "extremely well educated and compassionate" through my passive work done through casual and calm conversation. I still point out things I think are wrong, or questionable, and allow room for respectful discussion, and make corrections where it's needed. That is all a lot of cis people want, as I refuse to pull out the big "fuck you" guns unless I'm given adequate reason to. Because I've hit a point of recovery where that isn't difficult to do anymore. It used to be incredibly difficult, it used to be my default.

I am thanked for this so often it genuinely scares me just how many of us of all ages are total assholes about it, because that means we are suffering deeply in a way that really looks like it may last forever. I don't want that for us. We used to say, "It gets better", in the LGBT community. I want to bring that back, but it's not all going to be self gratification. That is the truth inherent to any change at all; there will always be growing pains. How we navigate that is what matters.

If you read all that and still think I hate myself, and that my criticism is coming from a place of hatred, I'm not sure what else to tell you. But I can say that it's not very nice to invalidate someone's hard-earned recovery and health.

3.) But that's not how it works out interpersonally. I don't personally owe any individual trans woman my time or compassion if she goes out of her way to harm me, and the same is true for you as well. That's why I say things like, "You do not have to tolerate demeaning bigoted phrases and abuse from trans women". Being an activist needs to be lower priority than that because your wellbeing must come first in order to BE a good activist. That's activism 101. You clearly read what I wrote, but this is such a bad faith interpretation I genuinely wonder how well you read and understood what I wrote, or what tone you even read it in.

Again, you're confusing holding people accountable with outright murdering them or the removal of basic rights. That is not remotely the same thing. Like, seriously. You know I'm pro transition, right? What are we even arguing about here.

Tell me exactly what I'm depriving trans women of by telling trans mascs that abuse from trans women is unacceptable, and pointing out the double standard of how you guys will be violent towards "bad" trans mascs, but offer endless sympathy and understanding to "bad" trans women. Go on. How is that bigoted?

If you think this is akin to the removal of basic rights, you have a lot of recovery work to do that I cannot do for you, and nothing I say will ever change that. Yeah, sure, I don't know you, but you've displayed more than enough for me to get an idea of how your thought process works. That tells me much, much more than you think it does.

Again, you are assuming my beliefs and goals. I've asked you plenty of questions, because I cannot assume your beliefs. Why exactly should I give you that respect when you clearly don't hold it for me? Oh wait... isn't that literally your argument? That respecting marginalized people shouldn't be based on approval, beliefs, or conduct? Yknow, the respect I've extended to you? Come onnnn. You're doing the thing you say you hate, and then saying I'm the one doing it! That's genuinely called projection and gaslighting. My father did it a ton when he would abuse me. You do not have the right to do that no matter what I believe in, even by your own standards. Which, yes, at this point absolutely do look incredibly flimsy based on your conduct.

I will, as what is consistent with my self worth in any other situation, despite your assertations, block you if you continue to do that. That is not an ok way to interact with others, especially not other marginalized folk. Per your own values.

4.) Haha wait a second, so trans women are totally innocent for using an intersex slur to make a bigoted political faction, but me-- who is literally undergoing workup and diagnosis for being intersex atm-- using it uncensored makes me awful, and being a radfem-- something TRAs like you assigned to me against my will until I gave up fighting it-- wholly responsible for the trauma you claim trans women experience... at the hands of trans mascs? Yeah, right. The statistics say otherwise; by and large transfems victimize transmascs far more often than we ever do to them. That's exactly WHY I stress that we don't have to tolerate that behavior from them. Because it is so common. But you're never going to hear what I'm actually saying, are you?

All you're really saying is that trans women always matter more trans mascs, but in obfuscating language so you don't have to directly admit it. The exact thing I have a problem with, and the exact thing my original post was about in the first place. The point has gone so far over your head it's in a different zipcode.

That could not get more bad faith if you tried. I think this will the the last point I respond to. I can't even make myself read the rest of your #4 atp.

Just do me a favor. Replace "baeddel" with "TERF" and "trans woman" with "trans masc", and tell me how that's any different. Why do TERFs-- mostly marginalized female people who have been severely harmed and traumatized-- deserve rape, harassment, murder, and death, but baeddels deserve all the love and compassion in the world? There's really no getting through to you, huh?

This is the exact problem I'm talking about, and you are so badly whipped and brainwashed about it you're a massive hypocrite and totally blind to it, despite your own supposed moral stringency. You're not even arguing with me. You're arguing with the figment of your imagination you've made me out to be.

Genuinely, take a break from activism. You're filled with hatred and not thinking clearly to the extent of borderline psychosis. You are boxing with shadows and attempting to use me as the all-responsible party for the collective harm TERFs have caused to trans people, which you can't even elaborate what that even IS without justifying the very real, shitty things trans women have done to us first that even YOU can't deny.

Also? Me acknowledging what the trans community generally believes and directly says to me isn't assigning that to you, it's writing to a broader audience than just you. Because this is my blog. That other people read. But for the record, it IS worth you considering, because clearly these things have an impact on other trans people that isn't as positive as you're convinced it always is.

When you say it's ok for trans women to hurt others because they've been hurt, but condemn transmascs when we speak up about it? Yeah, no, you just hate AFABs. You're also treating trans women like men atp. Because that's the lack of accountability cishet men consistently get when they do horrible shit. We really can't be accountable here? We really have to go and mimic male-female dynamics we say we try so hard to get away from? God, how I wish you understood how fucked up this all is.

You're allowed to feel hurt from the things you've gone through, but you're not allowed to use that to demean others like you've done here to me, or justifying the abuse I've gone through at the hands of baeddels. Again, this is why I have to be a radfem, and why there will continue to be more and more radfem transmascs. Because absolutely nobody else will stand up for trans mascs without bending over backwards for trans women, all out of fear of wrongfully being labeled a bigot when they rightfully criticize individual trans women who have genuinely done shitty things. Because people like you value a potential trans woman over real trans mascs who have already suffered harm. This is exactly the point I've been making this entire time, and I have no idea why you can't just humanize me enough to respond based on what I've actually said, and not what you think I'm going to say.

Like many things here, that's on you; not me.

uvb76fan is posting in this tag talking about all the ways trans men have it “worse”, while misrepresenting the statistic she is citing. most likely banking on no one looking closer or reading the links.

this person is a terf. if you search trans on her blog it is immediately clear, i am not using terf loosely she is literally actually a terf.

we cannot let our weariness at not being heard by some of our community push us into the sick and malformed arms of transmisogyny and radical feminism, these people do not care about us at all, they are trying to harm every single one of us. our solidarity with trans women, men and people as whole should cause us to slam hard on the breaks. no matter how many trans women you see being antitransmasculine it does not mean that there are not so many more who are our genuine allies, do not let the algorithm pushing hateful person after hateful person your way skew your understandings. the transphobes want dissent, they want us to tear each other apart. we do not need to contribute to the harm to have ours lessened. (causing harm to a vulnerable minority is never morally correct no matter what got you there in the first place. also straight up trans women are easy to love and are inherently deeply deserving of community solidarity, and fascism (which terfs are) should not have any appeal whatsoever no matter how hurt you are but i digress.)

on another note: we cannot and must not reactively take on the mentalities of trans rad fems, no gender in the trans community needs to be the most oppressed to be taken seriously and given respect in our community, the equality in our suffering is immense and must be acknowledged without each group needing to prove we are the most victimized to get the care and community support we need. this is harmful no matter who is doing it. we absolutely must nip this kind of thinking in the bud.

push back on terfs in this tag everywhere you can, and if there is a reason you cannot comment or reblog to shut them down, block them on sight.

[hvacfucker]

Me and a friend were JUST talking about how people view Hector as a yandere/stalker, and our take was that the people who see him that way don't seem to account for the fact that he's been falling in love with you as long as you've been living in the house, but all his feelings are bottled up because he's never been able to express them to you before the dateviators!! My man has LITERAL YEARS of built-up yearning!!!

anon, you understand me. lighthearted rambling below the cut

no dude, like not only that, but my guy probably thought he wasn't ever gonna meet us, like, EVER. hector literally refers to us as a divine force upon meeting him for the first time, which makes total sense considering there's never been a way for objects to interact with humans before the dateviators. it also explains the erotica he's written, too! that's the same energy as people using ao3 for fictional characters: a healthy way to process attraction (conversely, fantina literally collects pieces of our hair and nail clippings [unhealthy/stalker])

there really isn't anything inherently creepy about him doing that since, again, he thought he'd never actually meet the person of his desire. if anything, i imagine he'd be pretty embarrassed about his writing, if not for being prompted with positive questioning. which we can do, and even express enthusiasm over.

i completely understand the appeal of a stalker/creep hector, and i enjoy it too. but my main issue is that there seems to be a lot of mischaracterizations him. (i'm being very unserious here. please have fun hcing hector however you want)

sure, he can be interpreted as creepy, but if you factor in the idea he was admiring us from afar under the belief there'd never be direct interaction, his actions make a lot of sense. they're actually incredibly similar to fawning over fictional characters/celebrities, which is the majority of what these fandom spaces do too lol

i feel like the main difference between him and fantina in terms of creep level is how they handle their affections. yes, what hector does toes the line, (again, though, consider the pretense he never thought he'd meet us!) but fantina's action are out right unhinged, especially when she meets us face-to-face (i love her tho, she's one of my pookies)

idk i could go on and on, but at the end of the day i don't want anyone to feel discouraged/disparaged for imagining hector this way. obviously i feel pretty strongly about him, hence this blog, so i'm a little irked to see him written off as a stalker. (and i'm only referencing to posts i've seen of people saying this with their whole chest. not the wonderful hcs or fanfics)

these are just my own personal opinions/observations! please don't take them to heart if you disagree

[clarkeyscherry]

Hi could you do a chrismd drabble a little angsty and fluffy where his gf has some edits of him and his ex popping up on her fyp and she gets a lil sad thinking that maybe they're not the right fit but he reassures her? totally ok if you're not comfy writing this btw love your work <3

DIFFERENT // CHRIS DIXON!

you were laid on yours and chris’ shared bed, scrolling through tiktok. as you usually do on the days you’re free. everything was completely fine, but then an unexpected video played.

an edit of chris and shannon, his ex girlfriend.

you would be lying if your heart didn’t drop a tiny bit. nobody would particularly like seeing edits of your boyfriend with their ex partner. you were fully aware there were fans that wanted them back together. but with the amount chris reassured you that would never happen, you trusted him of course.

but seeing things like this did plant some doubt in the back of your mind. with them knowing each other and dating for years, it did make you feel slightly insecure.

you switched your phone off and threw it to the side of you, and just on time — chris walks in. seeing you sprawled all over the bed, staring at the ceiling was nothing different so he didn’t think anything of it, just letting out a small chuckle at the sight he thought was adorable.

“you alright?” chris asked whilst walking to the bathroom, but he got no reply.

“y/n?” he spoke once more, but was met with silence.

he walked out the bathroom and sat on the bed next to you, “hey, what’s up? not like you to not be talking by now.” he spoke gently, playing with your hair.

“i’m fine.” you sighed, not even convincing yourself let alone chris.

“talk to me, somethings obviously bothering you.” chris urges you to talk, not wanting you to deal with your thoughts alone.

“fine. i saw an edit of you and shan.” you blurt out, before covering your face out of embarrassment, “it’s stupid.”

“it’s not stupid. i wouldn’t particularly like if i saw an edit of you and your ex either. but why’s it troubled you so much?” he asks, making you sit up so he can face you.

“i know how much you loved her.. and i can’t help but feel like i won’t be enough for you after her. does that make sense? like i’ll never be her.” you explain as well as you can to him.

“thank you for trusting me to tell me. yes, i loved shan once but that doesn’t mean i want you to be her. you’re so different to her and that’s what I love, you’re you. and that’s what i fell in love with, you literally make me feel like my heart is gonna burst everyday. you don’t have to be her, and i don’t want you to be. i see my whole future with you y/n and i don’t want to share that with anyone else but you. understand?” he gently speaks to you, with awe in his eyes as he talks about his love for you.

your eyes slightly tear up at his words, “i love you, and i’m sorry i doubted you.”

“you have no reason to apologise, you can’t help the way you feel. so don’t worry, okay?” he raises his eyebrows, making sure it’s getting through to you.

“okay.” you reply quietly before leaning into his embrace.

“now let’s go watch edits of me and you, hm?” he laughs, his chest rumbling under your face making you smile.

“no, i just wanna stay here. with you.”

oh i loved writing this thank you for requesting it!!🥹

also someone told me they hated the filter i put on my pictures so i took it off, does it look better with or without? lmk xxx

[crustyfloor]

Personally, I like Mizi's shift in demeanor in karma, I feel like it's always been long coming for a deceptively positive character like herself. It's sudden, because I feel like it's obvious that she had reached an instant breaking point after Till's death, it was her final mistake, cementing her feelings of guilt that pushed her into a frenzy of nihilistic self-centered irrationality. She's definitely out of her right state of mind, but her actions and monologuing aren't anything to be rationalized with nor justified; her guilt and self-hatred manifest in such a destructive way that even though, for obvious reasons, she needs to be empathized with and she needs understanding, her actions still led to the destruction of the rebellion's project, and the death of what could've been a significant amount of humans, they were forced to be collateral damage because of Mizi's self-imposed sense of revenge and atonement and self-hatred.

It is so ugly and selfish, the way she decided everyone's fate for them and destroyed something that wasn't hers to begin with; it wasn't her place, but I believe the honesty of humanity is the message here. When Mizi was pushed to the brink, it's not surprising that she lashed out like this. It's visceral and raw, I think a part of me was expecting her to jump back from the bottom before Karma because I didn't anticipate Vivinos would want to explore this kind of route, and the fandoms response would be very divisive, which it is right now--But I appreciate the truth in that Mizi let emotions take over her in a moment of absolute despair, some people can't relate to that weakness and would've wanted her to do the right thing but this is probably the most realistic narrative she could've taken on in my opinion, Mizi, for the longest time, had been hanging on only by a thread of hope, continuously being strained, until that too was destroyed-- this episode shows how the total lack of faith and hope in a series where the format of religion/faith is used as a canvas for hope and love can destroy a person

As Mizi narrates Karma, her words reflect her skewed mindset; she sounds so deceptively matter-of-fact that we're being brought into her mind. But they're clearly not all true, and very clearly grief-stricken, and projected with self-hatred. In fact, she's cruel-- her words are so blatantly heartless in the face of humanity's plight and the love that they all so desperately cling to, because she's lashing out and projecting her own grief and hopelessness

Now that I think about it, it feels like a direct parallel to her perspective in the very beginning. In my Clematis, she had hope-- she thought that there was a chance if she believed

But now, Mizi has come to resent humanity's efforts at remaining hopeful, determined, and loving because she feels hopeless and destroyed . She goes from berating herself for her actions to feeling contempt for humanity as a whole. I feel like she was convinced that if this is where her efforts of trying and hoping brought her, then the effort itself is a hopeless endeavor that is only fueled by self-interest. And doesn't it look like she's completely justified and validated in that thinking?

It feels like a direct response to Wiege, the way HyunA sees the world and the message Wiege was trying to convey about humanity, contrasts sharply with how Mizi sees it. Actually, I don't think it's realistic to call either of their perspectives inherently wrong. I believe that both should exist. HyunA and Mizi are two sides of the same coin, humanity. As is human nature, humans realistically live in this duality. HyunA believes that humanity can always persevere from the brink as long as love and hope and determination continues to exist, and there is some truth to Mizi's words that humans hurt themselves and each other, they may be idealistic, self-centered, they may be selfish and use each other, that happens, but that doesn't make the passion of hope and love useless like she's saying, that is her pain being projected. "And even if we'd been granted freedom, we'd have still felt alone" is her loneliness and lack of faith in humanity being projected. "We're creatures who can't seem to love without exploiting" is her feelings of guilt and self-blame being projected.

Mizi knows that humanity struggles, but she specifically believes that humans instigate this suffering upon themselves because of their selfish innate nature, yet, (and it really depends on your perspective) but there's some truth and some misguided interpretation to that idea in the sense that it should be said that humans are bound to do that to other humans, especially in this setting, but Mizi neglects empathy and understanding (especially with the truth that in this case they are all victims in some shape/form and humans don't always inflict their own suffering, sometimes it's another force (cough) aliens (cough) ) because this too is a part of her projection and self-hatred, but the thinking itself... I believe this thinking is just incredibly nuanced, even for how (very) flawed it is.

So with that... What pushed Mizi to sabotage the rocket? to me, in the sense that the rocket was built on human passion, it's the embodiment of hope that "One day, our voices will be heard across the universe and we will use our voices to take back what was taken from us" yet Mizi's actions destroy that hope in one fell swoop and lead to a destructive reality, it is symbolic for how her hope was destroyed in that moment and she took it out on everyone else.

I also think she did it because she wanted to destroy the stage, to attempt to bring down the system she was born into through the prime source, She knew that by stopping the rocket mid-air that it would come back down, it would destroy everything around her, and knowing that she was still on it, it felt like she was inducing her own punishment. It's an act of retribution and atonement for what suffering in her life she believes she caused, for the precious lives that were taken "because of her", as if there is no better fate for her than death because of that. After all, it's just like what she told Luka, "Neither you nor I deserves to be saved."

I'd also like to talk about this scene of baby Mizi crying that comes directly after this, If this scene is meant to play into parallelism, then I believe it's meant to be a parallel to Mizi's mindset

In this scene, baby Mizi is alone and sobbing until she is comforted by other (angel-like) children. This is Mizi at her core, Mizi who forced herself to nearly suffocate so that her guardian would send her to Anakt Garden because she wanted to be with other human children, not alone with aliens that treated her insensitively like a cute puppy, now that Mizi of the present feels completely alone, once again hopeless, her mind reverts back to that sobbing, lonely child until she is comforted by other victims like herself. Mizi does all of this because she can't bear the despair she's feeling and the loneliness she's been brought back to; all of the people she held dear are assumed dead because of *her*.

Mizi essentially lashes out impulsively like a child, after all, I think all of the cases of her lashing out have been the product of her unregulated emotions, especially like the Round 5 scene of her punching Luka, it wasn't really because she was angry specifically at him, but because she didn't know what else to do, he pushed her into an outburst, so this makes sense to me. This scene speaks for her victimhood and the solidarity that she had wanted to have in the very beginning, as much as it points to the fact that she's not doing the things that she's doing right now with the right conscience.

The rocket falls, as does Mizi's hope and innocence symbolically. It's a horrific scene yet I can't help but read the sequence where the children metaphorically fall from the rocket as Mizi's idea of relief, I don't think anyone would've wanted it to happen like this, but this is how Mizi sees herself making right on the lives that were lost to the stage by destroying it, she would think of it that way because she's seen their lives being taken in front of her own eyes, she's felt the grief because of what Alien stage has taken from her first-hand, as aforementioned, it's bittersweet retribution and atonement. It might be like poetic justice on her conscience with the way the spirits of the children are smiling and cheering in contrast to the aliens' horror and the destruction all around them

Should it be a parallel to theology, I think back to this scene, it is also almost directly paralleling the crucifixion of Jesus, the thorns piercing through the hands, akin to Jesus's hands nailed to the cross, and the thorns around the heart, similar to the Sacred Heart of Jesus

I'd say this statue feels more like a symbolic Mizi, though. In Christian theology, Jesus's death on the cross is mostly understood as a sacrifice to atone for all of humanity's sins. Jesus took on the punishment, whereas Mizi is accepting karma for the sins of humanity reflected in herself and her love. The pain and suffering inflicted by the thorns wrapped around her heart in theology are meant to symbolize the sins of mankind that caused Jesus's crucification. So the love that she was born with, that she believes is manifested by selfishness, she will die for all the suffering she's caused with it (so in a sense, rather than a sacrifice on Jesus's part for the love of humanity, Mizi is taking up punishment and forcing humanity to bear the brunt of it for the "wicked" nature that they all share)

I think Mizi was fully intending to die on that stage, but what's shown in this next scene is so fascinating (brought me to some tears, to be completely honest). Personally, it's such a powerful and deep thing to me, just to show that despite Mizi's display of inhumanity, she is still human, for her to go back to Till's body and hold him even in the middle of the fire even if she didn't know or probably didn't even have hope that he was alive...just to stay with him. Just like she went back to save him during Round 7, knowing it was a risky bargain. She's just always reaching out for familiarity and comfort, to comfort and be comforted; it's in her nature to be kind and loving.

Even though she resents humans for this "selfish" behavior and love-- even though she sees herself as that inhumane, selfish person-- she is always contradicting herself because she isn't that person. Her view of herself is so obviously distorted by grief and self-hatred, once we see things from a different angle.

(like really... saying she probably just didn't love Sua enough, while it's actually shown that Mizi really was desperate and had immense love for her, when it's not her narrating. All because she felt at fault and felt like she had tossed Sua away when she died. )

I believe this plays into her sudden shift when she hears Till's heartbeat; it essentially snaps her out of it and brings her character back, that loving, hopeful woman. Because, in fact, her love is her hope. "Humans and their lives and love are the root of all suffering," and that's why Mizi thinks she should destroy it alongside herself, but when she realizes Till is breathing, it's like a signal for hope.

Alongside Mizi and HyunA, Till is another symbol for humanity in Alien stage because of his constant perseverance and the life and love that he has; it's a miracle that he managed to survive, it's once again hope. Mizi's will to have faith and hope and determination is rekindled in that moment so she could get back up and save him from dying there-- I think this, coming back from the brink like that because of the love she had for someone dear was shown to convey that we never really lost Mizi, she was just so broken and lost. She became a different person with a twisted perspective encapsulated by suffering and grief, yet she still holds humanity's hope and love and perseverance in her-- it all shows that even in the dark ruins of human nature, even through what humans could become at their worst, love and hope will never disappear

Like in Genesis: The birth of creation, which portrays love as a foundational aspect of humanity, God created humanity with love and the ability to love. In the beginning, there was love; to the end, there will always be love, that's why Mizi suffers and grieves, but that's why she lived and had happiness. Humanity is nuanced in its determination for life and its suffering.

When Vivinos said that alien stage was meant to be a commentary on the human nature, love, and how the dead can impact the ones left to walk in their memory, I bet this is what she meant, even if it's not perfect nor the complete hopeful ending I was anticipating, like the rebellion succeeding and crushing the aliens, nobody dies and everyone can be happy... I believe it was right to show the nuance of humanity, human emotions, that grief can turn ugly, and humanity is flawed. The special complexity revealed in the fact that the world these humans were born into didn't even give them a chance to have innocence, to let this love prosper properly, yet humans will always find a way to persevere and love through it.

(side note this hand-holding scene was so cute)

Even like this, humanity still ends up proving its perseverance again through Till and Mizi, it's as much of a hopeful ending as you can get, I still think there is more to add to this to convey it's full potential (Like with the rest of the alive trio's perspectives) so I'm personally hopeful to see how they show this narrative that they've chosen for the characters, but I really appreciate this ending for how down to earth and real it is.

[aingeal98]

Cass and Damian had so much potential like at just a glance she could teach him how to be more "normal" generally speaking because a. she is the other kid the in batfamily raised by assassins who was forced to kill but actually doesn't like it and has grown since then and b. it could be a parallel to her growing and learning how to be more "normal" and her teaching him like how she was taught i mean literally he already looked up to her for being a big figure in the LOA

For me Cass and Damian ideal dynamic is like... An oasis. An understanding that the rules of this new society exist and there are ways to be "normal" but if you're not then that's fine too. You don't have to pretend all the rules make total sense and none of them are stupid, not with me. I've been there, I've struggled with it for years. No one else really gets it but believe me, I do. There's nothing wrong with you just because you're struggling to fit in. I see you. I see the parts you're trying to hide because you know the others won't understand. They're not something you need to be ashamed of, not with me. I won't get offended or tell you you're not behaving like a normal kid. They have good intentions and they do have useful advice but sometimes "normal" is worse and they won't get it and it'll make you want to cry with frustration. Come find me when that happens. I've been there, it sucks, it's not your fault. You're doing fine. It'll be OK. I'm right here as living proof of that.

It's big sister little brother solidarity between two Asian immigrants living in America with a predominantly white family, and it's also big sister little brother autistic solidarity. And also the martial arts raised as your father's/grandfather's specialist little fighter solidarity. That too.

[finns-fish-facts]

water (what are) yalls ofishnions (opinions) on some of the otter (other) toons?

> “Haha- Those are some good puns! Let me think…”

[Text Wall under cut with all opinions.]

Poppy

> “At this point she’s like a sister to me!”

> “She’s fun, always knows how to bring up the energy.”

> “I leave thumbtacks under her pillow. Next.”

Boxten

> “He’s awful nervous, I hope someday he feels safe enough to open up around me!”

> “He’s cute, in a lost dog kind of way. I enjoy his company.”

> “I HATE the noises he makes.”

Cosmo

> “One of the nicest Toons I know!”

> “I don’t really talk to him much.. But he’s nice enough.”

> “Hate him. Hate his stupid bodyguard.”

Looey

> “Never a dull moment! Always a go-to when I need some cheering up or pun exchanges!”

> “He’s catches onto things a lot faster than most. Not a bad thing I guess.. But it’s hard to keep a secret from him.”

> “I am going to put needles in his shirt.”

Tisha

> “I think her patience’s with me is wearing thin..”

> “Tightly wound, but when she’s relaxed she can be a lot of fun.”

> “Grgrgfhrgrhgrgh”

Yatta

> “Life of the party! I’ll take her company any day, she’s plenty funny and super charming!”

> “I CANNOT see her in my vents anymore. I’ve already had nightmares.”

> “I hate tall toons. She’s obnoxious.”

Brightney

> “She’s really smart! We don’t stick too close since.. Water n’ all.. But she’s friendly from a distance!”

> “Not really my circle- but she always has great book recommendations. Or at least knows which ones I’d like.”

> “Hurts my eyes. I hate how bright she is.”

Teagan

> “Teagan has a way of making me feel safe around them.”

> “One of the best! We hang out ALL the time.”

> “… I hate tea.”

Razzle

> “We don’t talk much, but nothing negative to say!”

> “I think they’d eat sand if you let them.”

> “Stupid masks.”

Dazzle

> “I hope someday they can see themselves in a better way.”

> “.. I mean, like, depressing? But that’s to be expected. At least they’re supportive.”

> “… I hate how meek they are.”

Rodger

> “I wish he’d relax every now and then..”

> “Easy to bother, even if he takes things way too seriously.”

> “Hate his stupid questions.”

Blot

> “Sometimes it’s hard to understand them.. But he’s really creative! And funny too!”

> “If only they put their skills into literally anything else..”

> “He gets ink everywhere. I hate them.”

Connie

> “She likes to scare me- But I’m catching on!”

> “Connie is a TON of fun. Her and Vee always host the best movie nights.”

> “I wish she was invisible more often.”

Toodles

> “She’s going to be a great detective some day!”

> “That kid knows WAY too much. It’s kind of scary.”

> “Easy to pick on.”

Flutter

> “She’s a total sweetheart! I know no matter what, Flutter will be there to help!”

> “Not to mention she has a great sense of style. One of my go-to’s if I need advice.”

> “Too loud.. And too fast. I hate how she buzzes.”

Gigi

> “Glisten already mentioned.. But we’re on good terms! She’s a great friend.”

> “A little thief! But she’s funny, so she gets a pass.”

> “I hate her. I hHATE her. Steals my things!! I’ll break her head open to get them back!!”

Goob

> “The best hugs all around!”

> “Total softie. I don’t mind his company.”

> “I HATE hugs. Especially soft ones.”

Scraps

> “She tries to hunt Barnaby sometimes…”

> “DIY chic is kind of tacky.. But she’s got a vision. I can respect that.”

> “Bites.”

Astro

> “No one else I’d trust in my dreams! He’s.. Really kind.”

> “I’m glad he’s doing okay after.. Whatever. He’s quiet, but he’s definitely got like, a presence to him.”

> “… Next.”

Pebble

> “The best boy!”

> “I wish he didn’t try to jump up, but.. He’s cute.”

> “Annoying.”

Shelly

> “She’s super smart!!! I love talking to her, we can go on for hours back and forth!”

> “.. I mean.. she’s.. There I guess? We don’t talk much.”

> “Least irritating main cast. Still hate her.”

Sprout

> “I like how upfront he is! It’s refreshing!”

> “Great cook, but like, super stubborn. He can’t just let things lie..”

> “….”

Vee

> “I’d really like to be her friend! I think we’re making progress- though this might set us back a bit..”

> “Oh I LOVE Vee. There’s no other Toon who can match my energy as well as her!”

> “I HATE her prizes.”

Bassie

> “She’s.. Uhm.. We don’t really talk.”

> “Girl has some confidence issues. Not my circus.”

> “Too much pollen.”

Cocoa

> “I love her ambition! She really cares a lot about us.”

> “She’s too nice for her own good.. But it seems to work out, so good for her.”

> “I hate how she acts like something’s wrong with me. I’m fine.”

Flyte

> “He’s nice to kick back and relax with! Flutter’s got a great brother.”

> “One chance.”

> “What?”

> “I mean- He’s cool. Yeah. He’s cool.”

> “Hate his stupid attitude.”

Eggson

> “He’s kind of everyone’s grandpa at this point! But that doesn’t stop him from making everyone feel special.”

> “Finn said it- Though he can be a bit embarrassing at times.”

> “I’m his favorite. Shrimpo wins.”

Bobette

> “We’ve gone ice fishing a few times together!”

> “Makes ugly sweaters fashionable.. I can’t complain.”

> “I hate the holidays.”

Coal

> “Who’s a good girl? Who’s the best girl!”

> “She’s like.. A better trained version of pebble. I wish she stuck around longer.”

> “.. Bworf.”

Rudie

> “We don’t talk as much as I’d like, but I’d still trust him! He’s a good leader and a friendly face when things seem to be at their darkest.”

> “I wonder what it’s like seeing the world through a red hue all the time..”

> “I hate his stupid nose.”

Ginger

> “Even if her baking isn’t the best- I’d still eat any cookie she makes!”

> “She’s one of the few here I could trust to do my makeup and get it right.”

> “Bad chef. She shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen.”

Dandy

> “… I worry about him.”

> “He rarely talks to us outside of his shop, and will leave if it’s not something he wants to hear. He’s.. Kind of a jerk nowadays.”

> “He’s a weed. I hate weeds.”

[lovingdabeessss]

What do you think would be Weiss' feelings about Yang consistently getting better grades than her ?

Ohhhh boyyy do I have thoughts on this

For one obviously I think she’d be kinda really upset about it

I think yangs a huge point of insecurity for Weiss for a really long time and I think this would really add to that in a bad way

A lot of Weiss’s problems in the beginning is insecurity

She has worked VERY hard throughout her life to be good at everything she does, she’s had to, that’s the standard she’s held to,

and she’s worked probably even harder to be good at this

Because she JUST started doing this, she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she just got here!! She had to fight a huge fucking knight thing just to be here!!! She’s putting blood sweat and tears into every second of this but she is still new to it and nothing can fix that

Yang however

Has done this her entire fucking life, she’s a god damn legacy- which you KNOW early Weiss was obsessed with

She’s got crazy experience and general knowledge and she has it so casually

Yang simply doesn’t have to work anywhere near as hard as Weiss does to be as good as she is

And even with being very good at what they’re doing yang is also well liked!! She’s popular!!! She knows how to talk to their peers in a way Weiss feels totally alienated from

For a character defined by her loneliness to stare at a character defined by her relationships with others

And it’s made so much worse by the fact that yang, is in the beginning, the only person on her team she had any hope of getting along with

Ruby’s the leader which is a position Weiss is gunning for even after Ruby gets it, she also blew her up, shes also 2 years younger then her which is understandably infuriating when she’s made the leader, they have seemingly nothing in common at first there’s no hope

Blake fucking hates her and her whole bloodline ZERO hope there

Yang is NORMAL she got in the normal way, she’s well liked, would be great for networking, she’s good at their job AND communicating while doing it, she gets along with pretty much everyone

EXCEPT WEISS!!

To yang this is just some racist rich girl who’s a total dick to her little sister for no reason, like yeah it is weird they made the girl 2 years younger then everyone the leader but that’s NOT RUBYS FAULT!!! And Weiss is her age just totally being so rude to Ruby for no reason, AND she doesn’t get along with yangs team partner, who yang actually likes (not to mention Weiss doesn’t get along with Blake cause she’s like fantasy racist, something yangs clearly not chill with)

And to Weiss this girl is the absolute representation of all of her insecurities when it comes to proving she belongs here and when it comes to her social isolation

This would just be the nail in that coffin

Weiss would be mad because grades were probably the one thing she thought she had over yang and now she has nothing and it’s a slap in the face of how god damn hard she’s been working

Not that she’d actually vocalize it, depending on if this is before or after the white fang reveal, if it’s after she’s probably upset about it but can deal with it alright if it’s before she’s def PISSEEDDDD

This isn’t me saying yang is perfect and that everyone should be soooo jealous of her or anything

I’m saying Weiss is one of the best written characters

And everything she does makes perfect sense

And that canonically

Weiss starts out as a lonely socially isolated insecure teenager girl, who was abused in a way that made it incredibly hard for her to navigate socializing, desperate to prove herself, working as hard as possible to do everything right

And she’s constantly standing next to the canonically popular, hot, tall, “party girl” character who’s been doing this all her life, who also is immediately super chummy with both of Weiss’s other teammates with seemingly no effort and on top of it had good grades

If I was Weiss I would’ve fucking strangled yang

AND she drives a motorcycle id fucking kill her

Weiss is so strong for eventually getting along with her it’s a huge sign of how fucking mature she is to constantly be improving herself as she does in the first seasons

Which I think is super because of the fact that yangs SOOOO older sister coded

And Weiss lovesss an older sister figure

Like yeah did it definitely add to her hate at first that Ruby and yang had a relationship she’s never had with her sister? Yeah for sure

But the SECOND that they slip into friendship they’re solid cause yang also loves a younger sister figure and Weiss is SUCH a middle child

Moral of the story is that I think it would really frustrate Weiss but depending on when it’s brought up and stuff she’d probably honestly take it really well cause she’s really good at dealing with this kind of thing at this point

After having to acknowledge that racism is wrong and your entire family’s evil and the way you’ve been thinking about the world your whole life is wrong and evil and needs to change

This is probably something she gets over kinda quick

[conclaveconfessions]

Totally about Lomeli being bi, the context is undeniably sexual. I do agree it's a bit stacked on, but also is the intersexual pope in the last pages. Yeah there were hints but you could say the hints about Benítez are also the hints about Lomeli being bisexual. There's a sensual verve in describing him. I understand this is subjective but I don't mean anything explicitly by it, it's just that the narrative voice calls attention to some character's physical attractiveness, in a way that puts Lomeli in evidence. Put side by side how Lomeli sees Vincent vs Agnes and it hits pretty the same (youthful body vs indomitable blue eyes). He's just more explicit with Agnes because she's a woman, but in the innuendo, I think Vincent hits hornier. Actually I posted that section where he wonders about Benítez' ink like hair in my status and a guy friend asked me if I was reading a fanfic lol. And this also happens with Adeyemi (the cologne, the breath on his neck..., this is chapter one). And it's not a writer's tic, other characters don't get this treatment (Tremblay doesn't, Tedesco is described unappealing). The author is trying to say something, and he's not spelling it out, but he also doesn't want to leave it implied, but also the elderly cardinal is not gonna call himself bisexual. How else is a character this religious going to say such a thing? This novel is definitely not perfect xd but it makes sense that Lomeli is bisexual, it both enhances the themes of the book and it makes easier to portray and at the same time ignore the hints about Benítez... And also it's hot.

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