#but also more soft thoughts about tk grabbing carlos' hand and the way carlos rubs his thumb along tk's hand in the bottom one

[guardian-angle22]

TK/Carlos + Touch

↳ 1.10 Austin, We Have a Problem

[morganaspendragonss]

turn to dust all that i adore

whoops it’s a 2b spec fic based on two seconds in a promo love that

title from things we lost in the fire by bastille

ao3 | 2.3k | 2b spoilers

The fire continues raging whenever TK closes his eyes, and he doesn’t know if it’s better or worse than the sight that greets him when his eyes are open. He wishes he could wipe that awful night from his memory completely and go back to where they were just a few days ago, happy and safe and in their home. They don’t even have that anymore, the house little more than ash, and TK would be okay with that - they could rebuild from that - if Carlos weren’t so silent and still in front of him. 

The fire was three days ago; TK hasn’t seen Carlos awake in four. He’d been in the middle of a 24-hour shift when the call came through, bickering with Nancy about the merits of various sitcoms, Captain Vega probably rolling her eyes in the back as they returned to the station. 

Nancy had quietly offered to drive when they found out the address, but TK had shaken his head. His hands were tight on the steering wheel, and he’d pressed down a little harder than necessary on the accelerator, praying he’d be able to get there fast enough. The house was a lost cause, if what dispatch said was true, but if he could save Carlos, then that would be enough.

He’d failed - of course he had. An explosion had ripped through the building just as they’d pulled up, the glass shattering as flames leapt from their bedroom window. TK had felt a cold dread settle inside him, and his worst fears had been confirmed when the team emerged with Carlos limp in their arms.

He’s alive, but the damage had been done. Too much smoke inhalation and multiple horrific burns left him hanging by a thread; it’s a miracle, really, that the heart monitor is still beeping out a steady rhythm. TK can’t be thankful, though, not when he knows everything could turn on its head in an instant. Not when they’ve already lost so much.

A soft knock on the door grabs TK’s attention. He looks up to see his dad standing there, a sad smile on his face and a plastic-wrapped sandwich in hand. TK twists his face into a grimace and returns to watching the bed.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Son -”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ve been saying that for days,” his dad points out, walking over and pointedly laying the sandwich in TK’s lap. “Starving yourself isn’t going to make him wake up any faster.”

TK barely spares the sandwich a cursory glance. “Nor is forcing myself to eat.”

His dad sighs, crossing the room and grabbing the extra chair. He sets it down next to TK’s and, though he doesn’t look, TK knows he’s being subjected to one of his ‘dad looks’.

“TK, you’ve barely left the hospital since it happened,” he says. “I know it’s hard right now, but you can always come back and stay with me. You still have a home.”

“Not without him, I don’t.”

He hears his dad’s sharp intake of breath, feels his hand running through his hair, but TK’s detached from it all. He studies Carlos’s face, every part familiar to him, but so strange and foreign now. Carlos has never been a restless sleeper - that’s all TK - but there’s usually some movement. A crease appearing between his brows as his face scrunches up, his muscles shifting as he pulls TK closer, his nose gently nuzzling the back of TK’s neck. This still version of him isn’t Carlos. This isn’t the man TK loves.

But it’s close as he’s going to get until Carlos comes back to him, and TK can’t stand the thought of leaving him. In all the months they’ve been dating, they’ve rarely spent a night apart, and most of those were either on shift or still in their bed, with a pillow that smelt like the other and the promise of seeing each other again soon. Going back to his dad’s house would only be bearable if Carlos were with him, but that’s not possible, so neither is leaving.

“TK, I -”

“If you’re just here to give me this,” he interrupts, waving the sandwich in his dad’s direction, “then, thanks, but you should probably go now. His parents are coming in a bit and the hospital barely lets three of us be in here as it is.”

His dad recoils, wounded, but doesn’t budge, much to TK’s irritation. He’s really not in the mood for any more meaningless talk or thinly veiled attempts to get him to eat or sleep.

“Dad, please.”

“I was contacted by the PD this morning,” his dad says instead. TK’s head snaps up, eyes wide. “They found out what caused the fire.”

TK waits, but his dad suddenly becomes very reticent, his eyes flicking between TK and the bed. Clearly, this wasn’t something as simple as the electrics blowing or the washing machine malfunctioning; it’s worse, and TK’s breath seems to stick in his lungs.

“Dad?” he croaks.

Their eyes finally meet, his dad’s face arranged into a sympathetic grimace. “It was arson.”

Time stops.

“What?” TK breathes, shaking his head. Arson. Someone burned their home down and almost killed Carlos, on purpose. And for what? To kill them? The only reason TK wasn’t caught up in it too, after all, is because he was fortunate enough to be on shift that night. “Do they know who?”

“I’m sorry,” his dad says, voice full of regret. “It’s been happening all over the city, no leads so far.”

TK sits back in his chair, a white-hot spark of anger flashing through him as he once more takes in the many bandages on Carlos’s body. He wonders if this was how Judd felt those weeks ago when he found out the guy who’d run them off the bridge was also in the hospital, because TK would very much like to go out and find the people who did this. He wants them to pay for what they’ve done to the love of his life.

As is sensing where his mind has gone, his dad starts rubbing gentle circles on his back, though it doesn’t calm TK like it usually does.

“I think I’ll stay here until his parents show up,” he says. “If that’s alright?”

It’s a non-question; his tone makes it clear that he’s not going anywhere no matter what, but TK doesn’t have it in him to put up even a token argument. He simply nods wearily, and settles in for another day of waiting - another day without his boyfriend’s comforting presence at his side.

*

A week after the fire, he’s told he can go back to the house, if he wants. He doesn’t, really, but he goes anyway, knowing that Carlos will have questions when he wakes up, and maybe he’ll be able to salvage something.

Probably not, but it’s never been the stuff that’s mattered to him. It’s been what the loss of it all represents, the memories that now exist only in his head and in the ashes.

TK stares up at the blackened husk of their home, something keeping him rooted in the middle of the street. Police tape is still up and there’s an officer waiting to escort him in when he’s ready, but TK just… He doesn’t know if he can do this.

“TK?”

He jumps at the unexpected voice, turning to see Carlos’s neighbour from two doors down, Molly, her daughter trailing behind her. TK doesn’t know many of the people around here, but Molly and her husband are often to be found playing with Lilia on the porch, and they always make a point of greeting them. Carlos has even babysat for them a few times, though TK’s rarely there for that.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she says, smiling apologetically. “How are you doing?”

He shrugs. “I’m okay,” he replies, and Molly seems to understand what that really means. “Carlos is still in hospital, but we’re, um. We’re hoping he’ll wake up soon.”

She nods, glancing at the house. “It’s terrible, what happened. You’ve got somewhere to stay, right?”

“I’ve only just moved out of my dad’s place, so I’ll just go back there while we figure something out. Guess he’ll be glad we don’t have to transport all my stuff this time.”

The joke is hollow, and Molly’s face twists in sympathy. “Well, if you need anything, we’re happy to help out however we can. Carlos has always been good to us - to everyone here - and we hate that you’re going through this now. Send him our love, okay?”

TK gives her a small smile, nodding. He’s about to excuse himself to finally go inside, when Lilia tugs at her mother’s hand, whispering something in her ear when Molly leans down. 

“We were baking when we saw you pull up,” Molly explains, straightening. “Lilia insisted on bringing these out to you, didn’t you, Lils?”

Lilia beams up at him when TK looks over to her, thrusting a small tupperware in his general direction. “Cookies!” she exclaims, by way of explanation.

TK chuckles and squats so he’s at her height, taking the box from her. She’s watching him expectantly, so he takes a cookie - clumsily decorated with mountains of sprinkles - and pops it in his mouth, making a show of enjoying it.

“My compliments to the chef,” he says, licking his lips playfully. Lilia giggles, then, without warning, throws her arms around him, the force of it almost sending him on his ass. Molly gasps and reaches to pull her daughter away, but TK shakes his head at her, mouthing an, It’s okay.

Steadying himself, he gently wraps his arms around Lilia’s back, allowing her to bury her face in the crook of his neck as she attempts to squeeze him within an inch of his life. It’s enough to pull a real smile out of him, though tears also spring to his eyes, a sudden emotion overwhelming him. He brushes them away hastily when Lilia unwraps herself from him, but it’s clear that Molly noticed, judging by the sad smile on her face.

“I hope Mr Carlos gets better soon,” Lilia says, her voice earnest in a way only a five-year old’s can be. 

TK nods. “Me too.”

“He gave me sweets.”

A laugh bursts out of him at the sudden comment. TK leans close to her, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Shall I tell you a secret? He gave me sweets as well.”

Lilia gasps as though she’s heard something incredibly scandalous. TK laughs again, before standing back up and turning to Molly, who’s been watching the two of them with clear amusement.

“Thank you,” he tells her. “For coming out and talking, and for the cookies.”

“It’s the least we could do,” she says, waving him off. “Like I said, let us know if you need anything, even if it’s just to talk. We’ll be there.”

TK thanks her again, waving at them both as they head back inside. He turns to his and Carlos’s place, then takes a deep, shaky breath.

He can do this.

*

Inside is much as he expects. The worst of the rubble has been cleared, but there’s still some detritus lying around, including a few of their things. TK stoops and carefully retrieves a framed photo from the floor, wiping the dust off the cracked glass. The picture inside is barely recognisable, the colours warped, but he knows the image like the back of his hand - a candid of him and Carlos taken by Marjan during one of their hangs. She’d caught Carlos mid-laugh, a grin plastered on TK’s own face as they’d stared into each others’ eyes.

Marjan had grumbled about how frustratingly lovesick they both were, but the photo quickly became one of TK’s favourites, and it had made its way into a frame less than a week later. TK’s heart aches at the sight of it ruined; he can always print another as it’s still saved on his phone, but it still hurts. Everything does, right now.

As he gazes around the space, eyes catching on mementos and remembering how it all used to look, TK is struck by how much this place had felt like home. He’s only been officially living here for a month, but it’s been theirs for far longer than that, TK’s stuff worming its way in among Carlos’s until it became natural to see two pairs of shoes by the door, two sets of keys in the bowl. 

This was theirs, and now it’s nothing.

He drops the photo frame on his way out the door, not sparing a look back as he walks away.

*

He gets the call halfway back to the hospital and TK forgets all about speed limits as he races the rest of the way. He sprints through the corridors, the path to Carlos’s room learned by heart, and skids to a stop in the doorway, his eyes filling with tears at the sight before him.

Carlos, awake and smiling and alive.

TK lets out a sob, his hand flying to his mouth. Carlos turns, his smile widening when he catches sight of him, and he wordlessly lifts his palm up in invitation.

And who is TK to refuse it?

“Hi, baby,” he gasps, before kissing his boyfriend, palms framing Carlos’s face. Carlos’s hands come up to clutch at his wrists, and TK presses their foreheads together, silently revelling in this moment.

There’s a long road still ahead of them - Carlos needs to heal, and they’ll have to do so much to get back on their feet - but he can’t care about that right now. Being here, right now, with Carlos’s warm touch stroking over his skin, is all TK needs.

Carlos came back to him, and that’s the only thing that matters.

[rafael-silva]

hold me close, closer: a tarlos fic

After working the same rough and hectic shift, Carlos and TK share a calming bath to wash away the day’s tension and stress. Being in each other’s arms eases their worries and uplifts their spirits.

@larrytothemoonandback prompted: tk and carlos + sharing a bath

emotional hurt/comfort, light angst, comfort, fluff, cuddles, kisses, carlos reyes needs a hug, softness, really there are so many kisses 

2.3k | on ao3

*****

It had been a long, hectic shift for Carlos and TK.

A never-ending shift of one call after another, as TK dubbed it in one of the few texts he had managed to send Carlos in between blaring bells.

And it appeared from Carlos’s reply of tell me about it that he was going through the same thing.

They had met on a few calls scattered over the hours, and every time, the other man looked slightly more tired and drained. Still, though, they’d give each other small smiles that held the promise of going home to each other when their frantic shifts would finally come to an end.

After returning to the firehouse from their final call, TK robotically made his way to the showers, while chanting hallelujah over and over in his head as he stepped under the warm spray of water.

TK absolutely loved his job, his found family, but some days it would get so exhausting to the point where TK’s knees shake, threatening to give out on him. He holds on, proceeding to also robotically change into his civvies and throw his backpack over his shoulder.

He tells everyone good night as he makes his way towards the Uber, sighing as he drops against the backseat. He then unlocks his phone to send Carlos a message.

TK: Hi, babe. Just moved from the station heading home. Can’t wait to see you.

TK slips the phone back into his pocket and sits in silence until the car pulls up to the condo.

TK whispers something along the lines of thank you to the driver, stumbling up the porch stairs and to the front door, pushing his key into the keyhole. The condo is dark, the missing Camaro from the driveway was TK’s first clue that his boyfriend wasn’t home yet.

He flicks on a light, toeing his shoes off near the door and drops his keys into the bowl sitting on a table near the door. His phone pings in his pocket as he’s walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

He fishes out his phone to see a new text from Carlos.

Carlos: Hey, baby. Can’t wait to see you, too. I just need to finish some paperwork before I get out of here. I’ll be home as soon as I can.

TK: Just arrived home. Take your time, baby. I’ll be waiting for you.

TK sighs again, walking—or more like dragging his feet—up the stairs and into their bedroom. He falls backwards against the bed, closing his eyes as his body collides with the soft mattress, a much-needed sensation after the day he’s had.

He feels bad that he’s finally home and can relax while Carlos is still at the station, working. In hindsight, TK had wished he had gone to the station to meet Carlos there and then they’d go home together.

TK nods to himself, making up his mind. He grabs his phone to text Carlos again.

TK: Let me know when you’re on the way.

He lies back on the bed, scrolling mindlessly through his Instagram and loses track of time. He’s liking a post here and then when a notification from Carlos pops up at the top of his screen.

Carlos: Heading out now.

TK gets to his feet then and steps into the bathroom, turning on the tap in the bathtub and pushes the drain-stopper down. He quickly retrieves Carlos’s favorite candles, some vanilla scented, others lavender, from the bedroom and sets them carefully around the space, lighting each one as the tub fills with hot water. He also grabs the organic mint-scented body wash he and Carlos share and drizzles a good amount in the water, watching it foam up.

TK is looking forward to taking care of Carlos, after the long day they’ve endured. He’s also doing it for himself if he’s also being honest, because he can feel the aches already setting in his muscles and the warm water definitely helps there. But taking care of Carlos is his priority. Besides, that always help him feel better, too.

And TK knows Carlos always appreciates a good bath.

Looking around the bathroom, the paramedic nods, satisfied with the setup.

He hears keys rattling, followed by his name being called a few minutes later.

Downstairs, Carlos discards his keys into the bowl with TK’s and places his wallet next to it. He stretches his neck, moving his head backwards and then side to side until some of the tension there eases.

“Up here!”

Carlos looks in the direction of TK’s voice, and notices the hallway and bedroom lights are switched on. He wills his tired legs to ascend the stairs, and then steps into the bedroom, eyes immediately searching for TK. When they don’t find his boyfriend, he realizes the other man must be in the bathroom.

Before joining him, Carlos unpins his badge from his uniform shirt and removes his belt, unclipping his service weapon as he goes. He crouches in front of the bottom section of his closet, sliding the door over to reveal his safe. He punches in the code, the lock clicking and Carlos places the items inside before locking the safe.

He groans when his knee cracks as he gets to his feet, kicking off his shoes and wasting no time in heading to the bathroom. He just really wants—and needs—to see TK, to hold him, to kiss him.

The sight he’s met with makes his tired face light up and tugs the corner of his lips upwards.

“Welcome home, babe,” TK smiles from his place, now lying in the tub with his arms resting on either side of the marble.

“What’s the occasion?” Carlos asks with an amused lifted eyebrow.

TK shrugs. “Do I need a reason to pamper my boyfriend?”

A blush colors Carlos’s cheeks as his smile widens.

“Care to join me?” TK extends a hand towards Carlos.

“Wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Carlos expresses, hands already working to unbutton and remove his shirt, followed by his undershirt and pants.

As soon as he kicks his boxer-briefs away, he takes TK’s offered hand, holding on to it as he lowers himself into the warm water, sitting between TK’s legs. Moments like these and sharing a bath with TK, always reminds Carlos how grateful he is that he picked a condo with a bathtub big enough to comfortably fit two adults.

Carlos lets out a satisfied sigh as soon as his body is immersed, closing his eyes as he falls back against TK’s chest.

He hears TK chuckle from behind and feels the younger man’s arms go around his waist, effectively pulling him even closer into his hold.

“Besides, we’ve both had incredibly long shifts, I think we deserve this,” TK adds.

“Hm,” Carlos agrees.

“You deserve this, babe. You’ve been working so hard lately.”

Carlos blindly finds TK’s arms with a hand and gives him a squeeze where it lands on an arm.

“I got you, baby,” TK promises.

“You always do,” Carlos responds, dropping his head against TK’s shoulder.

TK moves his head and brushes a soft kiss to Carlos’s temple, feeling the officer gravitate towards his touch.

Comfortable silence settles between them for a while, both of them enjoying finally being in each other’s arms and letting the water wash the day’s troubles away.

“Thank you for this, Ty,” Carlos whispers. “I really needed it.”

TK nods, nuzzling his face against the back of Carlos’s head. “Of course, baby. Anything I can do to help. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Carlos shakes his head after a moment of thought. “Maybe later. Right now, this is all I need.”

“Okay,” TK replies.

“Couldn’t wait to get home to you,” Carlos speaks after a moment.

“Couldn’t wait to have you right here,” TK responds, pressing a sweet kiss to Carlos’s shoulder.

To Carlos’s very tense shoulder.

TK pulls his arms from around Carlos, and the slightly bigger man lets out a disappointed sound at the loss of TK’s touch.

“Just for a minute,” TK reassures his boyfriend. “You’re gonna like this, trust me.”

Carlos trusts TK with his life, but he also already misses TK’s warmth.

However, TK’s assessment of Carlos liking whatever he planned is proven right soon enough, as TK gently uses his thumbs to massage and rub at the heavy knots sitting in Carlos’s muscles.

TK smiles at the heavy groan Carlos breathes out, knowing it’s helping his boyfriend.

“That’s it,” TK whispers. “Let me take care of you.”

Carlos wishes he could turn around and kiss TK in this moment, but between the warm water and TK’s tender ministration, he feels his bones and muscles turning into jelly.

TK pushes down slightly harder, loosening up the worst of the tension he finds, feeling satisfied himself when Carlos sags back against him, clearly feeling a little better.

“That…God, Ty, I needed that, so much.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” TK chuckles. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much,” Carlos nods.

Before returning to their previous position, TK cups some water into his palms and places them over Carlos’s head, letting the water run through the officer’s hair and down his neck. Carlos seems to be onboard with this, as well, because he’s tilting his head backwards a little in TK’s direction.

TK takes the hint and repeats the action a few more times, until Carlos’s hair is damp. TK then slowly cards his fingers through Carlos’s soft curls, the product he applied that morning long gone now.

With a kiss to Carlos’s neck, TK’s arms return to Carlos’s middle, wrapping around him and holding him close once again.

“We both have a day off coming up soon, we can do whatever you want,” TK says.

“Just wanna spend it with you.”

“We can most definitely do that. We can sleep in, have late breakfast in bed, lots of cuddles and oh! We can bake,” TK plans, almost giggling at the idea of baking. It’s one of his favorite things to do with Carlos in their downtime. He mostly sits on the counter while Carlos does most of the baking, but TK also sometimes helps with the batter.

“Sounds perfect, baby,” Carlos smiles, closing his eyes and resting his head back against TK’s shoulder. “Brownies or cookies?”

“Hmm,” TK contemplates for a few seconds. “Cookies, chocolate chip cookies.”

“My specialty,” Carlos replies.

They really are Carlos’s specialty. TK remembers taking a batch of chocolate chip cookies into work one day for everyone, and the crew had gone absolutely mad over them. The huge tupperware container was empty in a matter of minutes.

TK smiles at the memory, remembering not only his team’s joy for the delicious cookies, but also Carlos’s delight and pride when TK told him what had gone down.

The water starts cooling a few minutes later, both men feeling it and a shiver runs through Carlos’s body.

“I think it’s time to get out,” TK’s the first to say. “We can order in and watch a feel-good movie.”

“As tempting and comforting as that sounds, I don’t think I can really rely on my legs to carry me right now,” Carlos chuckles.

TK giggles along and helps Carlos into a sitting position.

“Come on, I’ll help,” the paramedic says, making sure Carlos’s grip on both sides of the marble is secure before stepping out of tub and grabbing a towel, wrapping it around his waist. He prepares a towel for Carlos before moving back towards him, holding out a hand to the officer.

Carlos takes TK’s hand but instead of using it to pull himself up, he pulls TK closer to him. And this time he does kiss TK, closing the distance between them by capturing TK’s lips with his own.

TK, albeit a little surprised, immediately opens up to Carlos, deepening their passionate kiss. His other hand instantly travels to the nape of Carlos’s neck, settling there and he gives Carlos an encouraging squeeze. They pour everything into the kiss, their worry for each other, their concern, their relief for the other’s safety. The kiss has infinite layers to it, and Carlos and TK visit each and every one of them.

Eventually the need for air to wins and they separate. They don’t pull back completely, their foreheads still touching, each of them breathing a little heavily with identical kiss-swollen lips. They breathe each other in, taking it all in.

“Lets get into something comfortable and continue this on the couch,” Carlos whispers into the small space between them.

TK nods and with another light kiss to Carlos’s mouth, he pulls back. He hands Carlos the towel when he’s out of the tub, and they make their way back into their bedroom.

They find themselves nestled against each other on the couch once they’re dressed in comfortable t-shirts and sweats (TK had also grabbed Carlos’s old police academy hoodie on their way down, knowing he’ll be wanting to slip into it later during the night) with Carlos flipping through Netflix.

TK is lying between the officer’s legs, an arm draped over Carlos’s thigh with his back against his chest, his other arm is placed over the one Carlos has wrapped around TK.

“Here,” Carlos says as he hands TK the remote control. “Pick a movie.”

They sit in silence as TK scrolls through the list, Carlos watching him with a fond smile decorating his face.

“Hey,” Carlos whispers.

TK turns to face him, his features filled to the brim with love and affection.

“I love you, Ty.”

A big smile spreads on TK’s face, his green eyes turning soft. “I love you too, ‘Los.”

He leans in, claiming Carlos’s lips in a tender kiss.

They settle back when they pull apart, Carlos planting a kiss to TK’s head.

He inhales the scent that is all TK, and he feels comfort brewing in his gut, he feels safe, he feels whole. He feels lighter as the worries of the day seep away.

Lying on the couch, with TK in his arms, Carlos is home.

And when TK nuzzles his body backwards and moves closer into Carlos’s hold, Carlos knows in his heart that TK is home, too.

[takeyourpillsbitchh]

Carlos cow eyes

Since there wasn’t much context here, I guess I’ll just go with the flow and incorporate those soulful, big, brown eyes into this angsty, hurt/comfort fic that no one asked for 🥰

Also no one asked me to post this at midnight but I can’t sleep so why not 💁🏻‍♀️

⚠️TW: use of the f-slur in regard to a character explaining how it was used as an insult towards them.

It was late by the time TK was unlocking the front door and walking into his and Carlos' shared house. His whole body was sore, he was tired and all he wanted to do was shower, eat something and go pass out in bed. It had been an excruciatingly long day, but he knew the night was far from over.

Stepping into the house, TK sighed, instantly feeling so much relief at just being in their home. Turning back to lock the door, TK rested his head on the cool wood and slid his duffle bag off his shoulder.

"TK?" Carlos called. TK could hear him walk towards the entryway, tensing up and not looking forward to the conversation they were going to have to have tonight. "Hey, my love, are you okay?"

TK said nothing as he turned around, keeping his head hung low, moving to mold his body against Carlos'—strong arms enveloping him in warmth and comfort. Carlos stood there with him for a moment, rubbing his back, kissing his head, and just holding him. After a moment, though, Carlos pulled back, reaching up to caress TK's cheeks.

Brown eyes met blue—soft and sweet until realization filled those brown eyes and his sweet smile melted into a frown.

"Baby, what happened—"

"Can I please go take a shower before we talk?" TK pleaded, leaning into Carlos' touch.

"Of course," Carlos nodded, leaning in to press his lips to TK's forehead. "Want me to heat up dinner?"

"Please." He nodded, pulling away gently. TK made his way toward's their bedroom, stripping down once he reached the joined bathroom and winced at his reflection in the mirror.

His face was a lot more bruised than he originally thought. The bandage on his forehead was spotted with blood, the split on his lip was bleeding again, and his torso was littered with purpling bruises. Stepping into the shower, he switched on the water, sighing when the warm water soothed over his sore skin.

He wasn't sure how long he actually stood there, eyes closed, just letting his body relax as steam built up and surrounded him. Eventually, he built up the strength to wash himself, being extra careful with his forehead when washing his hair.

Getting out of the shower, he dressed in a pair of Carlos' sweats that hung low on his hips and a tank top. Walking out into the bedroom, he smiled softly when he noticed his uniform had been picked up off the floor, his phone had been plugged in and their bedding had already been pulled back.

He made his way back to the kitchen, assuming he hadn't been gone as long as he thought, considering the plate on the counter still had a bit of steam coming off of it.

"I didn't know how hungry you'd be, so I just warmed you up a bit of everything," Carlos spoke gently, setting a glass of ice water next to the plate that held baked chicken breast, mashed potatoes, and asparagus.

"Thank you," He breathed softly, kissing Carlos when he walked around the island and grabbed TK's face.

"Eat up and then we'll go to bed, okay?"

"Okay." TK nodded, leaning in to press another kiss to Carlos' lips before sliding onto the barstool, humming to himself as he took a bite of chicken. "Thank you, it's really good." TK offered a small smile to his boyfriend.

They continued like that, Carlos moving about the kitchen, cleaning up silently while TK ate. He was nearly done when he glanced up to see where Carlos was and realized he was watching him—big brown eyes all lovey and concerned and worried.

"You're doing the thing." He said around the bite of food he had just put in his mouth.

"What thing?" Carlos asked, perfect eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"You're giving me the Carlos cow eyes," TK answered, looking at Carlos pointedly before shoving another fork full of food into his mouth.

Carlos pressed his lips together and let a sigh out through his nose before walking over and leaning across the counter to take TK's empty plate before intertwining their hands together.

"I just wanna make sure you're okay, babe," he said, rubbing his thumb over TK's bruised knuckles.

"I'm fine," TK answered just as softly.

"Wanna talk about it?" Carlos asked, wanting nothing more than to just know what happened to his lover.

TK tilted his head in a motion to tell Carlos to come around the counter, letting Carlos turn his stool and step between his thighs. Big, warm hands splayed over his thighs as Carlos leaned in to press a kiss to his neck. TK leaned into the kiss, relaxing from just being so close to him.

"So, tell me." Carlos prompted, pulling back to look at Carlos, his insides twisting at the bruising on TK's face that already seem to look darker from when he first got home.

"Well, today had been a pretty busy day. Just call after call after call. We were all tired and stressed and just ready to go home. It was like fifteen minutes before our shit was supposed to end when we got a call about a fire and needing backup. So we get there and there is already another crew there so of course, dad goes to find their captain so we can get our orders on what to do," TK explained, his fingers finding the hem of Carlos' t-shirt and playing with it absently, letting them dip under to graze alone smooth caramel skin.

"Anyway, everything was fine you know, but the other captain kinda gave dad the go head to run the call and I guess his crew wasn't very happy about that and got mouthy with dad, saying he wasn't his captain so he didn't have to listen to him and threw it in his face that since he has cancer, he shouldn't even be there." Carlos' mouth dropped open at that and TK nodded in a yeah, I know kind of way.

"So, I stepped in and just told him to back off. We were all there for the same reason and that arguing wouldn't do any good for anyone," TK continued, taking a deep breath and glancing at Carlos, "Then he proceeded to say that if he wasn't gonna listen to a half-ass captain with cancer, he sure as hell wasn't gonna listen to his pussy ass f*ggot son either." TK saw the anger that flashed in Carlos' eyes at that and ran his hand up to Carlos' chest soothingly. "I know that pissed me off, too. And I retorted and I guess it was enough to push him over the edge and he swung on me missed and I swung back and didn't miss, which pissed him off even more. Dad, Judd, and one of the other firefighters broke it up."

"Damn, baby. I'm sorry you had to deal with that." Carlos shook his head, hands moving to TK's waist, making him wince. When Carlos gave him a concerned look, TK bit the inside of his lip and leaned back against the counter, and let Carlos lift up his tank top.

"Jesus, baby," He breathed as the dark bruises on his abdomen were revealed. "Are you okay? You sure nothing is broken?"

"I'm okay, Michelle looked me over before I came home," TK shrugged, looking down to where Carlos was racing over his bruised ribs with feather-light touches.

"You gonna press charges?" Carlos asked. TK snorted a laugh and shook his head.

"Nah. He left looking worse than I do." He shrugged. "Dad said he'd make sure the guy was getting reprimanded. I don't wanna take it any further than that it's not worth it."

Carlos nodded but TK could tell he wanted to push but wouldn't, he'd let TK handle it how he wanted and he really appreciated him for that. Carlos looked down again from Carlos, feeling his chest tighten for a second as he grabbed Carlos' hand.

"You mad at me?" He asked softly, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

"For not wanting to press charges? Of course not, even though I think you should--"

"Not for that." TK cut him off gently, glancing up just long enough to see those confused eyebrows again before looking back down, "F-for getting in a fight."

Carlos was quiet for a moment before reaching out to tilt TK face up by his chin to look at him. "Baby, look at me. I am not mad or disappointed or anything of the sort. It's not like the bar fight where you got into a fight just to fight. He came at you first, it was self-defense and even if it wasn't, I still wouldn't be mad after he said those things about you and Owen."

"Okay," TK nodded, his voice still shaky.

"Let's go to bed, yeah?" Carlos asked, running his fingers through TK's damp hair.

"Will you carry me?" TK pouted at Carlos. "It hurts to walk."

Carlos chuckled before motioning for TK to wrap his arms around his neck. He shifted, wrapping TK's legs around his hips, and lifting him up by the waist, holding him tightly. He stood there just holding TK for a moment, kissing his shoulder, whispering sweet things to him, and swaying gently. TK smiled to himself, pressing small kisses to Carlos’ shoulder and neck and breathing in his sweet, comforting scent.

Once they finally made it to the room, Carlos stripped them both down, completely naked, and they crawled into bed together, cuddling under the sheets—bodies pressed close together from head to toe.

"I love you." Was the last thing TK heard from Carlos' deep, sleepy voice before he fell asleep cuddled against his lover's chest.

[kiras-sunshine]

Beside you in a blinding bliss

Tarlos. 4.4k

For: 911 couple’s retreat  (@911CouplesRetreat) day 1 “you have never looked more beautiful” + hurt/comfort

Summary:

He places it on the floor, near his shin. The fake flame flickers a little, but it is dim, and it certainly doesn’t illuminate the bathroom.

“Now it’s an anniversary,” TK remarks, softly, with a tiny sigh.

ao3

or

**

author’s note: this includes slight descriptions of puking

***

The room spins as Carlos attempts to move and he has to grab the edge of the bathtub to steady himself. He is already sitting on the floor, but even the smallest movement makes spots appear in the corner of his vision and he has to take a couple of deep breaths to get rid of them.

He feels ridiculously weak, and the bathroom smells awful. He cannot get rid of the reeking, even though he has flushed the toilet multiple times since puking his insides out, and he just wants to curl up in a ball and forget the whole day.

The nausea still wallows threateningly in the pit of his stomach, but he isn’t convinced that the guilt wouldn’t be overpowering the waves of nausea.

TK didn’t seem angry or disappointed when he found him puking in the bathroom. If anything, he was just concerned and worried about him. Carlos cannot really blame him, he would probably have the same reaction if it was the other way around, but Carlos cannot help but feel like he has let him down.

It’s their first anniversary, and they actually had plans. Nothing too fancy, but they had a dinner reservation to a place they have meant to try for ages, and he had done the reservation months ago. Sure, it is only a dinner, but it is more about the meaning the date holds rather than about the food.

TK deserves the world, he knows that much and it’s ridiculous and slightly stupid, but he just wanted to give him a nice, stress-free evening and celebrate their love, but apparently even that proved to be too difficult.  

Work was plain terrible. They were understaffed and the whole shift was filled with a call after a call, and he didn’t really have a time to sit down and eat lunch, so he grabbed a sandwich from a food truck and he knew it tasted funny, but he didn’t have time to dwell on the thought too long because the dispatch sent them to another scene.

With his luck, he ended up with a food poisoning.

At least, that is his best guess. He felt a little off when he left the precinct and by the time he got home, the nausea was too strong to keep bottled up inside, and since that he has spent most of the afternoon camping out at the bathroom floor.

Carlos sincerely hopes it is a food poisoning because it could mean he would feel better quicker and the last thing he wants to do is to pass on some stomach bug to TK. It would be a terrible gift as far as anniversary gifts go.

Carlos tries to suppress a yawn and for a moment, he ponders whether he could just lie down and fall asleep on the floor. It feels like every ounce of energy would have been drained out of him, and somehow, even sitting up seems to require too much currently.

His mind definitely feels a little hazy and he knows exhaustion is taking over, but he is almost sure he hears the front door open and close. Despite everything, it makes him smile. It helps to know that he isn’t alone.

A few moments pass before he hears the bathroom door crack open, and TK appears to the bathroom. He is carrying a grocery store plastic bag and Carlos is happy to see him again, but his stomach lurches with guilt as he sees the concern shining in his eyes.

“Your beloved car survived without a scratch,” TK tells him, in apparent form of greeting, as he sits right next to him on the floor without any hesitation. He leans against the bathtub and glances at him, but he presses a kiss on his temple.

Carlos flashes him a lopsided and quick smile.

TK’s driving skills are infamous among the 126, even if they let him drive the ambulance nowadays. Judd sent him a lot of pictures of the destroyed traffic cones when he tried to teach TK to drive the ladder truck. TK himself sent him pictures of the battered rear end of the truck.

Despite all of that, Carlos has always let him drive the Camaro when he has needed it, but still TK immediately took it as some sort of highest form of trust. Carlos does trust him, with everything and anything, so it is not unwarranted of him to think that way, but TK has developed the habit of declaring, after every time he has driven, that his car still remains un-crashed.

“And you?” Carlos asks, hoarsely.

“What?”

“I care a lot more if you survived without a scratch,” Carlos points out, kindly. It feels like an obvious thing to say, but he likes to remind him of it, anyway. He has to close his eyes for a moment because the room spins a little.

Any reluctance he might have towards letting him drive is because he only worries that TK will get himself hurt. But he has seen him drive, he isn’t that bad at it. He just has an unorthodox way of reversing.

“I did,” TK confirms with warm laughter, “I mean I only visited pharmacy and the supermarket.”

Carlos had every intention of texting TK that he wasn’t feeling well when he first got home, but he never got around to do it, and when TK arrived back to the apartment from his own shift, he gave him a full check-up before darting to buy some medicine that would make him feel better and stomach-friendly foods.

“You once got kidnapped from a parking lot,” he mumbles. Moving feels awful, but he rests his head against TK’s shoulder because holding his head up on his own feels impossibly tiring.

“True,” TK says, but his voice softens as he continues, “how are you feeling?”

“Like dying.”

It feels like an honest answer. It is only maybe a tiny bit of exaggeration, but he feels miserable. His stomach aches and cramps, and it is hard to focus on anything else except the nausea. Carlos lifts his hand a little, but as soon as he moves it, it starts to shake.

TK’s fingers immediately curl around his shaking hand and it almost makes it stop. He holds it firmly, but still gently and places their intertwined hands at Carlos’ lap.

Logically, he knows that handholding cannot cure nausea, but it almost feels like it. Feeling the touch of his skin helps him to focus on something else. His touch is almost like a concrete proof that he is not alone and that whatever he is feeling will pass, sooner or later.

TK lets out a sympathetic hum, and his hand feels almost too warm against his. “No dying on my watch, but you do look like crap.”

Carlos snorts. “I guess we’re officially out of the honeymoon stage.”

He means it as a joke, even though his voice comes out a little meek. In all honesty, he has no idea where the end or beginning of their honeymoon stage would lie. He still gets goddamn butterflies in his stomach when TK even as much as smiles at him, and he is probably more in love than ever.

“You’ve never looked more beautiful,” TK replies, and his voice is light and teasing, but it doesn’t sound like a complete joke to his ears, even though it must be.  

Carlos can imagine the way he is looking. He looked pale already in the locker room of the precinct and he knows he is drenched in sweat. Generally, he feels gross. It still feels like a small miracle that TK is willing to sit pressed next to him, kissing his head and holding his hand, without any complaints.

“That’s the spirit,” he manages to crook out before his stomach lurches and he has to puke again.

The sudden movement makes him dizzy and the taste in his mouth is bitter and awful. It sort of feels like he couldn’t breath properly and he is gasping for air, but TK is rubbing his shoulders in a soothing manner and it helps a little to keep the panic at the bay.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, “just breath. You’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

He isn’t sure if he loathes more the feeling of sickness or the fact that TK has to be there to witness it. If there is ever anyone in front of whom he has allowed himself to feel weak, it is TK, but he still cannot shake the uneasiness of being so helpless and small in front of him. He is also willing to bet that TK sees a lot grosser things at work on weekly basis, but that doesn’t mean he should witness it from him.

Carlos doesn’t really trust his voice to answer, so he just nods. He wants to believe that and as he catches his breath, he, at least temporarily, feels slightly better.

TK is still stroking his back.  “Have you drunk anything?”

“No.”

He didn’t even manage to drink a gulp of water when he ate that damn sandwich before they were sent to another scene.

Carlos turns around again, placing himself back to the familiar spot against the bathtub. TK studies him with his gaze for a moment before he pulls a bottle of water out of the plastic bag. He hands it to him, and the bottle feels lukewarm in his hands.

“Try to drink a little bit, okay? If it feels bad or you cannot keep it down, I can hook you into an IV bag of saline. If you want to.”  

His voice is soft and sincere, and full of concern, and Carlos cannot tell exactly how serious he is with his offer. All he knows that his first-aid kit has gone through a proper upgrade since TK started at his new job and he wouldn’t be that surprised if they had the equipment for simple infusion, too.

“I don’t think a food poisoning requires a paramedic,” he replies, slightly tentatively because he doesn’t want him to take it the wrong way. He opens the water bottle with shaky hands and takes a small sip out of it.

“Too bad that you’re dating one,” he remarks, but he watches him like a hawk as he keeps slowly drinking the water. “If the water’s fine, then you can take some electrolyte pills with it. They should help too.”

He lets out a non-committal grunt. Carlos doesn’t exactly mind that he is taking care of him. He rather likes it, and it makes him feel loved, but he doesn’t want to burden him after the twenty-hour shift he has just pulled off. “No need to bring work to home.”

TK stares at him for a moment. He squints his eyes a little as he tilts his head to the side. He opens his mouth but abruptly closes it again. “You--,” he starts, but he ends up shaking his head. “I’m not taking care of you ‘cause of some oath I’ve taken at work. I want to take care of you ‘cause I love you, and that’s really not work.”

Carlos looks down on his own hands, a little abashedly. It’s nothing he wouldn’t know already, but it is still a different thing to hear him say it. He knows TK loves him, he tells him it often enough and he shows it, too. It is almost a tangible thing that he can feel, and his love surrounds him every day, and he had no real doubts he would be doing any of this out of anything else except love. But he has lived most of his adult life alone, and it is difficult to accept help when he is used to managing on his own. He wants to accept it, but he cannot silence the part of his mind that keeps insisting that he is asking for too much.

He bites his bottom lip as he looks back up to TK. “Yeah, okay. I know. I’m glad you’re here.”

TK gives him a small smile, but it is definitely genuine one. It makes a different kind of warmth to spread in his stomach.

“Are we in the realm of possibility of leaving the bathroom?”

“Not really,” Carlos breathes out. He wants to leave the hard and cold floor, and possibly crash into the bed, but all of that feels like a distant wish. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine,” TK reassures, sitting back right next to him. “Nothing wrong with a bathroom.”

“You don’t have to stay here,” he points out, softly. He is a grown adult, and he isn’t in any sort of mortal danger. There is no reason why he couldn’t deal with a food poisoning on his own. Knowing that TK is at home would be more than enough.  “This isn’t really how I imagined our anniversary to be.”

“There’s no way I’d leave you alone when you’re feeling this terrible,” he says, without missing a beat, and he sounds determined, “and I brought something.”

TK rummages through the plastic bag and pulls out something small that looks like plastic. He presses something at the bottom of it and orange light appears in the middle of it. Carlos wants to blame his exhausted and dehydrated brain for taking it so long to realise that TK is holding a led candle in the middle of his palm.

He places it on the floor, near his shin. The fake flame flickers a little, but it is dim, and it certainly doesn’t illuminate the bathroom.

“Now it’s an anniversary,” TK remarks, softly, with a tiny sigh.

Carlos is pretty sure his heart clenches with the love he is feeling. The candle itself is a pathetic sight, but it is the thought of it behind it that makes his heart feel too small for all the love it tries to contain.

“That’s—nice,” he says, little lamely, but he appreciates more than he can tell. His mind is still too foggy to form any more coherent sentences and his head suddenly feels a lot heavier than before.

“I had to improvise,” TK laughs, but he stops quickly when he looks at him. “You want to lay down?”

Carlos manages to nod, and suddenly TK’s hands are on his shoulders and he gently and slowly steers him into lying position, but he places his head on his lap. As soon as he settles there, TK’s fingers are already in his hair and he runs them along his scalp.

“You know, I don’t mind that much that our plans got cancelled,” TK says, softly, breaking the silence after a couple of quiet moments.

“You don’t have to try and make me feel better.”

He already feels miserable enough lying curled up on the bathroom floor and using his boyfriend’s thighs as a pillow. His self-pity is already covering all the pity he needs, and he knows he brought this on himself by eating the sandwich even when his instincts told there was something odd about it.

“I’m not just saying it to make you feel better,” TK huffs, almost amusedly, “of course I hope you’d be able to stand on your feet and not to puke everything out, but we can have dinner some other time.”

Carlos knows he is right. It is already a small miracle that both of them have the evening off, and he guesses the meaning and idea of the anniversary is more important than celebrating it on the actual day.

“Yeah.”

“It’s just a day,” TK says, almost casually.

It is ridiculous, but it breaks Carlos’ heart a little. He knows it is not TK’s fault if he isn’t bothered by the cancellation or if he doesn’t see their anniversary the same way as he does, but he cannot control the pang of hurt it creates.

Carlos knows he might come off as a reserved person, but he has always liked to make a big deal of any sort of celebrations he has shared with his loved ones. His sisters’ and friends’ birthdays. Their high school graduations. All the holidays. His parents’ anniversaries. TK’s one year of sobriety.

He likes making his loved ones happy and sharing happy moments with them and showing by that how much he loves and appreciates them, and just how proud he is of them. TK has always appreciated everything he has planned for him, and he had gone out and the above with Carlos’ birthday and with that horrendous tumour cake for his dad.

And it had been nice, that he had finally met someone who appreciated that side of him, and matched with him and made the similar effort for him, but he should have guessed that at some point, eventually, he and TK would clash on it, too.

He knows TK loves him, and it is not like he would be second-guessing his feelings or commitment, but it feels stupid and selfish to hope that the day that is supposed to be about the two of them would hold more significance for him.

That it wouldn’t be just a day among the rest of them.

If there is a silver lining, it is that his nonchalant reaction is easier to deal with than plain disappointment of their plans being cancelled.

“It is,” he lies, quietly.

TK lets out a heavy sigh. “That came out wrong.”

“It’s fine,” he rushes to murmur.

It is the truth. It feels worse than it actually is because he is already wallowing self-pity, and he knows it will be fine once he manages to sleep through the night and when he doesn’t feel like his stomach is plotting to kill him.

“It’s not fine,” TK insists, accompanied by another sigh, but it is a lot softer this time. “The anniversary, it’s a big deal. Of course it is and I want it to be a big deal. And I don’t want you thinking that it wouldn’t mean a lot to me, because it does.”

Carlos quietly hums as a response because it sounds like TK has something more to say.

“You mean a lot to me, and I’ve been so—happy during this year and so obviously I want to go all out on the celebrations, but just—all I wanted, really, was to spend the day with you, and while this,” he continues softly and vaguely gestures towards the bathroom “wasn’t the plan, I’m still not disappointed. I get to be with you, and I love you as much here as I’d in some fancy restaurant.”

Carlos is certain he is so dehydrated that there is no possible way for him to tear up, but still, as he listens to his quiet rambling, his eyes start to sting. It definitely awakes a whole another twirl of emotions inside of his heart, but this time it is just raw happiness, love and plain affection.

A tiny bit of embarrassment mixes in with it all, because he misinterpreted his words and demeanour, but he wants to blame that on his own insecurities and the food poisoning clouding his mind. But he is still a little bit of in awe because somehow TK knew exactly what he needed to hear, and all of it is just overwhelming.

“The restaurant would probably smell better,” Carlos ends up deadpanning, because he is still a little speechless.

A surprised laughter escapes from TK’s mouth and he shakes his head, but he scrunches his nose. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“And it means a lot to me, too,” he adds with more serious tone.

Carlos has known since the beginning that they share a connection that is special and profound, somehow, and he has wanted him since he saw him, but he is still a little bit in awe that they have made it so far despite their rocky start.

He wants him to know it, too, even if his mind cannot come up with anything too eloquent.

“I know,” TK replies, simply, “and you’re in no shape to go to work tomorrow, so I took a day off too.”

He sounds almost delighted as he declares it.

“You didn’t really have to do that.”

It feels just a bit unfair that TK has to use one of his day offs to take care of him, and only because he ate something that had gone stale.

TK brushes his thumb across his forehead gently. “The twenty-minute trip to the store was nerve-wracking enough, I’m not going to leave you alone for twenty-something hours. And it hardly is your fault that you got food poisoning, babe. It’s just bad luck.”

“I’m not complaining if I get to have you all for myself,” he murmurs as he shifts a little on the floor. He closes his eyes for a moment, but surprisingly the wave of nausea never comes. “I don’t know about the fault, but I cannot have that bad luck, I still ended up with you.”

TK laughs, and he is pleased because that is what he was aiming for. His laughter is beautiful, and he always wants to hear it, but right now it is the most soothing sound he could imagine.

“This has nothing do with luck,” TK says, gently, “but I sure feel lucky.”

Carlos just smiles at him.

“We could do new plans tomorrow,” he continues, running his fingertip along his collarbone. “I think we both have next Thursday off?”

Carlos knows that they have been together for a year and that it shouldn’t be too big of a surprise that TK knows his shifts by heart, but it still fills him with particularly fond warmth because they both have irregular shifts, so he has to learn his rooster, on top of his own, every week, and he does it every time.

“I guess we can celebrate our 371 days together too,” Carlos caves in, and through the exhaustion, he can feel the corner of his mouth twitching into a gradual but affectionate smile.

Carlos was never too caught up on the idea of celebrating the anniversary on the exact day, but it could have been nice. He guesses the anniversary is more about what they make it out to be, because after all, it is theirs. And knowing that TK is at least as much into the idea of it, warms his heart a lot.

“Exactly,” TK chuckles, “it will be the best 371-day anniversary you’ve ever had. And we can have dinner today, too, once you’re ready to depart the toilet. I’ll come up with something.”

“Trying to give me a double food poisoning? That’s cold.”

He tries his best not to smile, but it is impossible, and a grin breaks out on his face quickly. TK pretends to be shocked and offended, but his smile persistently stays visible, too, and the softness of his gaze never fades. He nudges him gently with his elbow.

“Hey, you’re on a strict stomach-friendly diet and just for that, I’ll mix the applesauce with the rice.”

Carlos frowns at the mere thought of that.

“The other option is bananas and toast. Mint tea is supposed to help, too.”

His stomach is wallowing still, but he is rather sure that all of that would sound unappetizing, even if he was feeling perfectly fine. He is also aware that he will at least try to eat whatever monstrosity TK comes up with because it is still made by him.

“Sounds—bland.”

“It’s supposed to be,” he remarks, “it won’t be a mind-blowing culinary experience, but when anything I’ve cooked for you would’ve been. The difference is that this time it’s going to help and make you feel better.”

“Thank you,” Carlos whispers, more seriously and sincerely than the situation probably calls for, especially when TK is cracking jokes about his own cooking skills, but he wants him to know he is grateful. More than those two little words can convey.

“It’s okay,” he mumbles, “are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, a little,” he lets out a sound that only half-resembles a chuckle. “I’m still sorry I ruined tonight.”

TK might not blame him, and maybe, despite his own thinking that this would have been preventable, it is one of those uncontrollable things. Yet, he thinks he deserves an apology.

“Nothing’s ruined, really,” TK starts, “and this isn’t a terrible anniversary. Little unconventional for sure, but we’re together, in love and there’s candlelight, so I think we could’ve done a lot worse.”

“I know,” Carlos breathes out, “the candle really saved this.”

It sends TK laughing again. “And if we’re being completely honest, we have a tendency to mess up dinner plans. Especially the big ones.”

“True.”

“I’m willing to bet that if we ever get married, a natural disaster will strike,” TK jokes.

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Carlos feels how TK’s muscles tense up, and he goes a little still. His fingers stop moving in his hair, but at least he isn’t pulling his hand away.

Marriage isn’t something they have ever outright discussed. Obviously, they are both in it for the long haul, and he has always assumed that marriage is something they are slowly heading towards to. He knows TK has his own baggage about his failed proposal, but it makes him happier than he could say that TK can make jokes about marriage already.

Because Carlos can definitely imagine himself marrying him. He can more than imagine it, he wants to do it. He knows there is no rush, and that taking their time is a good thing, but he would marry him in a heartbeat or in ten years. Either way, he knows it would be something that will bring immense joy to him.

“Bold of you to assume it would be only one natural disaster,” he comments, a brilliant grin spreading on his face, “it will probably be at least two.”

TK immediately relaxes. He lets out a breath and continues to run his fingers through his hair. “There should be a safety manual for the whole thing.”

“Oh, definitely,” Carlos laughs, still little weakly, “evacuation plans and everything.”

After the active volcano, it feels like nothing that the universe throws at their way would surprise him anymore, and he knows they have had their fair share of weird and ridiculous calls, and that they have survived all of that so far, but a wedding would definitely be the biggest dinner possible, and it seems like tempting fate.

“We’ll send it with the invitations.”

He still feels weak and sick, but the feeling of pure happiness is starting to overpower both of them.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Carlos admits, quietly.

“Yeah, me neither.”  

[tngrace]

Confessions

TK gets hurt during a training exercise at the academy which leads to a confession to Carlos about his past.

The background for their freshman year & how they met is in part one. But I don't think you have to read it for this to make sense.

Thanks to @moviegeek03 for helping this along and encouraging me to make this into a series. Your support means the world girl!

Read on A03; Tarlos/911 LS Masterlist

Sophomore year was going smoother than Carlos expected. TK had enrolled in the fire academy, and Carlos was still taking courses at ACC. He still wasn't sure what path he wanted to take, but he knew one thing for certain. He wouldn't be where he was without TK and his unwavering support.

Their friendship had steadily built all throughout freshman year. When TK made the decision to stay, Carlos decided to move into TK’s apartment wanting to get away from the family ranch and have a little freedom. Their closeness only grew once becoming roommates, and their friendship solidified into one of the best things in either of their lives. Right before school started back, he made the leap and kissed TK one night during Netflix and chill. They were both surprised, happily surprised, but surprised Carlos was the one to make the move. They’d both been thinking it, but Carlos was always so patient with TK, TK wasn’t sure Carlos would take the leap. It took a couple weeks, but when they became official, there was no stopping them. Carlos was well on his way to falling in love. He knew TK still had things he wouldn't talk about, and Carlos respected that because he knew he had his own share of things he wasn't necessarily hiding but just didn't talk about. They were building a strong foundation though, and he truly believed in them.

His class schedule varied each day. Mondays and Wednesdays were his longest days. Tuesdays he didn't have any classes, so he worked at a community center that offered activities for kids, teens and elderly . Thursdays and Fridays were half days and he would go to the center after that. TK's schedule was pretty straight forward being in the academy. He was in class until five each day, and he worked most weekends at a coffee shop with the occasional night shift at a restaurant for extra money.

Carlos was surprised when he pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex mid-afternoon from class on a Wednesday to see TK's jeep. He was just running home to grab a book he'd forgotten that morning, but he had a bad feeling his afternoon classes were going to be forgotten. Carlos didn't recall him mentioning being home early, so he was a little worried. TK was laser focused on finishing the academy at the top of his class so something must have happened for him to already be home. He grabs his bag and heads inside. "TK," he calls out, closing the apartment door behind him.

There's no response so Carlos's concern mounts as he heads back towards the bedrooms. TK is curled up in his own bed, which is odd considering they've slept together every night in Carlos’s room since becoming official. "TK?" Carlos raps his knuckles on the door frame.

He gets a groan in response, so he walks over and sits on the edge of the bed. He gently pulls the covers back. He manages to hold in his soft sigh at TK's tear stained cheeks. "What happened?" He murmurs softly as his fingers graze TK's cheek.

"Got hurt."

Carlos manages to hold in a sigh once more. He's learning TK can be a danger magnet without meaning to be. "How bad?"

TK shrugs and winces. "Definite bruising. Possibly cracked a rib."

"TK! Did you go to the hospital?!" Carlos is too exasperated with his boyfriend to watch his tone, his fear that TK is hurt in any form of way sneaking into his voice without him meaning too. He hates when it makes TK shrink in on himself some, but cracked ribs are no joke.

"No. Will be fine," he huffs.

"Come on let's at least go get you checked out." When TK doesn't move, Carlos does let his sigh escape. "Please? It'd make me feel better to know you're gonna be ok." He breaks out the pouty face he knows TK can't resist.

"Fine. But they're not gonna tell me anything I don't already know; EMT remember? And you have class."

"Just humor me. Class will be fine without me for one day." Carlos helps him up and gets TK's shoes back on from where he'd kicked them by the door. He decides to take TK's jeep knowing it'd be easier for him than trying to sink into Carlos's car. Once TK is buckled, with a lot of wincing on his part, Carlos heads for the hospital.

TK is quiet, and Carlos can tell his anxiety is spiking by the way TK's leg bounces and his thumb gets bitten. He gently reaches for TK's hand pulling it from his mouth and lacing their fingers together. "Wanna tell me what happened?" Carlos asks quietly to try and help alleviate TK's anxiety.

TK sighs but nods as he stares out the window. "Was a training exercise. What would happen if we were in the middle of the rescue and was ordered out because of the fire and structural concerns. Someone was still trapped and I thought I could get them. But the floor gave way and I fell. It's all simulated so it wasn't like I fell far. But with all the gear…."

Carlos squeezes his hand softly in support. "I landed on something down below. Don't think my ribs are actually broken. Just maybe cracked. The instructor told me to go get checked out, but I just came home."

"Can I ask why?"

TK is quiet for so long Carlos isn't sure he's going to answer him, and his leg has started bouncing again. "Don't like hospitals," is the only answer he gets before they arrive so he decides not to push it. He finds a parking spot, and then runs around the jeep to help TK out. "Come on. If you're as fine as you say you are we won't be here long. And if you're not, it's better to know," Carlos says quietly as he wraps his arm around TK as they head in.

TK stays quiet and he sneaks out from under Carlos's arm when they get inside the ER. He knows Austin is more progressive than Texas, but it's still Texas and he doesn't want Carlos to feel any kind of judgment for being with him. He signs in and the receptionist at the desk gives him paperwork to fill out. He tells Carlos he's got it and he can go sit, but Carlos tells him to bring it with him. TK shakes his head and tells him he's fine as he moves to the side and hunches over the desk to fill it out. Carlos knows TK has a stubborn streak so he tries not to argue with him even though he’s not sure why TK won’t come sit down.

Once the paperwork is done, TK passes it back to the lady behind the desk and they go to take a seat. Carlos can tell TK is in pain and he wishes more than anything he could take it away. They wait about forty minutes before they're called back. TK tells him he doesn't have to come if he doesn't want to, but Carlos just squeezes his hand in reassurance and goes back with him.

Carlos helps TK get changed, barely suppressing his gasp of surprise at the bruising across TK's chest. He's as careful as he can be getting TK's shirt off, but he can still see the pain in his eyes. They're not back in the exam room long before a nurse comes and wheels TK away for X-rays after taking his vitals. Carlos can feel her judging stare when she enters the room and sees their laced hands. He wants to snap at her when it makes TK shrink in on himself even more, but he doesn't say anything in fear she'd take it out on TK when Carlos wasn't with him.

Carlos texts a classmate to take notes for him for his afternoon classes, and then plays a game on his phone while he waits. The nurse brings TK back, and he can feel the anxiety radiating off his boyfriend in waves. The nurse doesn't say anything when she leaves, and Carlos scowls at her as he moves back by TK's side. TK won't hold his hand making Carlos curse the nurse even more. He rubs his hand up and down TK's thigh trying to reassure and calm him. " 'm sorry you're having to deal with this," TK eventually says.

Carlos reaches up and gently pulls TK's bitten lip from his teeth.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He runs a hand through TK's hair. "A team remember?" He leans up and pecks TK's lips, holding his head steady when TK tries to pull away.

"Carlos."

"I don't care what she said. It's me and you," he murmurs, but he does pull back not wanting to add to TK's anxiety.

TK goes for his hand finally, but the curtain moves and a different nurse enters, making TK jerk his hand back causing him to wince.

"Want me to get you some pain meds sweetie?" This one asks as she takes TK's vitals again.

"No. No thank you. I'm fine."

"You sure? You look like you're in a lot of pain."

"No pain meds. Please," TK says, not looking at Carlos in any way. He can only think that the nurse hasn’t read his file.

"Ok maybe some advil then? Something to take the edge off?"

TK tenses at her words, his face draining of color. Carlos is looking at him curiously wondering what is going on, but TK has recoiled even further into himself.

"Maybe in a bit," Carlos finally answers so the nurse will leave and his boyfriend will hopefully relax again.

"No problem. Just push the button when you're ready for it. The doctor should be around with the x-ray results soon." She pulls the curtain as she leaves.

Carlos doesn't push. If there's one thing he's learned about TK in the year he's known him it's that TK will shut down even further when pushed. He runs a hand through TK's hair hoping to provide some comfort. TK's poor lip is bitten raw, but Carlos doesn't try to stop him.

The doctor enters about half an hour later and confirms TK's self diagnosis of a few cracked ribs. He suggests some breathing techniques to help with deep breathing to prevent from getting pneumonia. He also suggests TK take a week or two off from the academy to heal, but TK wouldn't hear of it.

"Well Mr. Strand since we can't prescribe you any pain medication, I would recommend you at least take it easy. I can write something up to give to your instructors, but I wouldn't recommend you complete any training exercises for a little bit. If the pain becomes too much, come back and we'll see how we can help." Carlos watched TK get paler as the doctor talked. He wasn't sure why the doctor wouldn't prescribe TK any pain meds knowing he had to be in severe pain, but it didn't seem to surprise TK so there was something Carlos was missing. He was debating how to bring it up when the doctor announced the nurse would be by with his discharge papers in just a minute. TK became more anxious after the doctor left and they were left in silence.

Carlos did his best to distract him, deciding now wasn't the time to ask what was going on. "Once we get you home, we'll put some ice on your ribs and get you settled on the couch with Netflix,” Carlos attempts a grin. TK nods but doesn't say anything biting his poor thumb nail to the quick.

The same nurse that offered TK advil earlier returns with discharge papers and a paper to give to his instructors. Carlos thanks her, and then helps TK back into his clothes. It's hard doing it without hurting TK but they finally get him dressed in his sweats. "Alright cariño, let's get you home." Carlos wraps his arm across TK's shoulder, and TK is too tired to shy away from him this time. He sees the same judging nurse from earlier, but Carlos just tightens his hold on TK and gives her a smile. She can take her judging and shove it as far as Carlos is concerned. If he wasn’t focused on getting TK home, he would find her supervisor and report her. His priority though will always be TK.

TK is quiet the whole way home, staring out the window, leg bouncing, and biting his lip. Occasionally his hand will run through his hair, and Carlos wishes more than anything he could take this anxiety and pain away from him. He periodically squeezes TK's knee in reassurance, but he's not sure it's helping much. Once back at the apartment, he hurries around to help TK out. Luckily they have a ground floor apartment, so he doesn't have to worry about getting TK up any stairs. Once through the door, Carlos tries to steer TK towards the couch, but TK stops. "What's wrong?"

TK won't meet his eyes, and Carlos can feel how he's vibrating with anxious energy. "I can't have pain meds because I'm an addict. I got… I got addicted in high school." He starts pacing and Carlos lets him even though he really just wants to pull him close and comfort him. "I went to a party with a boyfriend. He… I was young and stupid but that's not an excuse. I just wanted to feel something, something other than ignored. The pills helped, but I had to keep taking more. Dad…."

TK lets out a shuddering breath as he tugs at his hair. Carlos can't stand it, can't stand to see TK so upset. He walks over to TK and pulls his hands down as gently as he can. TK is tense, his breath coming too quickly for Carlos's liking. He gently wraps his arm around TK and pulls him against his chest. TK stays stiff in his arms, but he doesn't pull away.

"Slow deep breaths please," he whispers. He keeps his own breaths measured, slow, and deep as he lets a hand gently rub TK's back. He can hear TK almost wheezing, and he knows that has to be increasing the pain. "You're ok, TK. Everything is ok. Just match my breathing," he murmurs softly, guiding TK's hand to his chest to try and help. It takes a few minutes, but TK starts to slow his breathing matching it to Carlos's. "That's it. You're doing good. Everything is ok." Carlos just keeps up the slow breathing and rubbing TK's back until he feels TK sag in his arms.

He half carries half guides TK to the couch. He does his best to get him comfortable before kneeling in front of him. He carefully wipes the tears from TK’s face. “You’re ok. You’re going to be ok. You don’t owe me any explanations you don’t want to give ok?”

TK takes some shuddering breaths as he nods.

“Easy cariño. Slow breaths. I’m gonna get some ice to put on your ribs. Just want you to relax, ok?”

TK gives him a shaky nod; Carlos kisses his forehead and goes to the kitchen. He has some homemade ice packs from soccer strains that mold more easily around body parts, so he grabs those, an ace bandage and a towel. He gets TK a bottle of water before returning to the couch. TK has scrubbed his eyes free of tears, and is holding his ribs carefully. “Shirt on or off?”

“Off,” TK whispers, his voice scratchy.

“I’ll be as careful as I can,” Carlos promises as he sets everything in his hands down. He eases TK’s shirt over his head, sharing a wince when TK winces. He gets TK to hold the towel over the worst of the bruising, before he lays the ice pack down. TK winces again because it’s so cold, but he knows it’ll help. Carlos loosely wraps the ace bandage around him to hold the ice pack in place. “Can I hold you?” Carlos asks tentatively once the bandage is wrapped. “No pressure. No need to talk. Just want to hold you.”

TK nods, so Carlos crawls behind him on the couch. He eases TK back against his chest getting him as comfortable as possible with cracked ribs. Once TK is situated, Carlos runs a hand through his hair to help relax him. “I’m sorry you got hurt. I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough afternoon. But there’s one thing I want you to never forget,” Carlos murmurs quietly. “I’m always going to be here for you no matter what.”

He can feel TK’s body relaxing the more Carlos rubs his head. “You’re the only other person who’s been to the hospital with me. Dad was the other,” TK whispers so quietly.

Carlos kisses the top of his head. “I’ll always be there babe.”

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you.”

“Don’t. It’s been a stressful afternoon. It’s ok I promise.”

TK relaxes more into Carlos’s chest and just starts talking. “I got addicted to opioids sophomore year of high school. I was dating a guy named Alex. He turned out to be a real ass. He was all into partying, and I went along with it just wanting to feel something. Mom and dad were always so busy after the divorce; I think I was just looking for attention from anywhere I could get it. Dad found out when I OD’d senior year and he found me in the bathroom passed out. He decided to be more present; he helped me get clean. He was the one who thought it best to get out of the city. Mom just wanted to micromanage me, but dad seemed to get it to a degree. I’ve always looked up to him, wanted to be just like him, and mom hated it. When dad suggested an escape, I randomly picked a place on the map, and here I am. I’ve been clean for two years. I went to meetings all the time freshman year, I just didn’t tell you. You were, are, the best thing in my life and I didn’t want to lose that. I found a good therapist here too. She’s been really helping me.”

“I’m glad TK. I’m so glad you chose here. I’m so glad you found someone to connect with that you are comfortable with. I’m so glad you shared this part of you with me. I feel honored.”

TK glances up at him, and offers the first smile Carlos has seen from him all afternoon.

“You were the easiest decision I’ve ever made. I’m the lucky one.” Carlos gives him a soft smile, but he can see the afternoon was worn TK down and he doesn’t want the exhaustion to stress him out. “Why don’t you try to rest. I can help you to bed or we can stay right here. I’m going to do some reading for class before cooking.”

“I’ll just stay right here with you.” Carlos kisses his head again as TK drifts off finally looking peaceful. He grabs his book to read making sure not to jostle TK. He knows the coming days are going to be painful for TK, but he feels he has a better understanding of his boyfriend now. He ends up skipping a couple of classes to help TK; TK goes to meetings wanting to keep himself accountable. He even invites Carlos to one of his therapy appointments as his therapist’s suggestion. It takes almost two weeks for the bruises to fade and TK to get back to one hundred percent. While Carlos hates that TK got hurt, he also has learned to appreciate every little thing with TK because he always feels more in love with him after.

[alwaysablossom]

Fic: 365 Days of Knowing You

Summary: Everyone has learned to tune out Probie for the most part, because they are all used to him not shutting up. So that’s what TK is also doing, until he hears Mateo mention, “Can you imagine it’s almost a year since we all started here.”Or: The 126 celebrates their 1st anniversary and TK tries to show Carlos how much he means to him.

Notes: So two days ago, I posted my first Tarlos FF on AO3. I thought I might share it here as well. Hope you all like it. Please do let me know if you do. 

Here goes..  

TK has been mindlessly scrubbing the firetruck clean, half listening to Mateo and Marjan’s usual banter. Everyone has learned to tune out Probie for the most part, because they are all used to him not going on and on. So that’s what TK is doing, until he hears Mateo mention, “Can you imagine it’s almost a year since we all started here.”

He shouldn’t really be surprised really. He has been carrying his one-year sobriety chip for a few weeks now. But the realization that he has been with the 126 for almost a year brings another realization, that he has known Carlos just as long. And although they didn’t officially start dating till a few months later, he can still remember the first time he laid his eyes on Carlos, that rainy night of their first shift, the dancing at bar and the sexy times which followed.

“Hey TK, coming?” he hears Marjan says, breaking him out of his thought. Paul and Judd are setting the table for the lunch that Paul has been making for the previous hour. TK nods, jogging up to catch up to her. “Dreaming of Lover boy?” Marjan teases. TK huffs as his ears tinge pink, and Marjan laughs reaching up to ruffle his hair.

Once they are sitting at the table, they all start talking about how to celebrate the one year anniversary of all of the new 126 and decide to do a party the day before at the firehouse because all of them are not working the day of.

The one-year celebrations at the firehouse starts at the end of a 24-hour shift, but there is laughter, food and family. His mother, Grace, and Tommy’s family as well as Carlos join in on the celebration. His dad gives a speech, and they all have cake which is shaped like a firetruck this time.

He moves next to Carlos, wrapping his arms around Carlos’s waist. Carlos automatically wraps his arms around TK’s shoulders, pulling him in closer, pressing a kiss to the crown of TK’s forehead.

“It’s been a year huh?” Carlos asks him softly. “Yeah”, he answers softly, tilting his head, to press a kiss to Carlos’ chin. “Thanks for coming, even if you have a shift in an hour”.

“I wouldn’t have missed it, we kept missing each other this past week, I wanted to be here.” TK moves to stand in front of Carlos, wrapping his arms around his neck. Carlos adjust himself, his arms coming to rest on TK’s hips. “I have missed you” he says. “Well, I get done with my shift at 10 and nothing unexpected happens, I should be back before midnight. Then we have two days free.” TK nods, they have discussed this before. “Will you be there, tonight?” Carlos asks him, worrying his bottom lip. And before TK can answer he adds, “You need not be, I mean you have to rest, you are just finishing a 24 hour shift and- .”

“Hey, Carlos,” TK interrupts. “I will be there, I have all of your shift to rest. Maybe even bring some pancakes for a midnight snack from the diner, for a midnight snack.” He moves his hand, his fingers, caressing at the edge of Carlos’ lip, where he has been biting it. “I would love that” Carlos answers. “We could have a slow morning, I could make breakfast” “Hmm..” TK replies, his lips finding Carlos’ and although the thought of what they are going to do tonight or in the morning tomorrow make him want to deepen the kiss, he is reminded he is still at his work place, even though they are having a party, so he keeps it light.

“I know you are having brunch with your parents tomorrow, but do you think we could spend the afternoon together?” TK asks him as they part from the kiss. “I would like nothing more.” Carlos replies, going once more for a kiss when they are interrupted by Marjan.

“Lover-Boys, come on. I know you haven’t seen each other for more than a few minutes this past week, but you can suck faces later. Right now, I want photos.” She says loudly. Paul and Judd snicker in the background and Carlos hides his face in TK’s shoulder as he feels the blush rising, TK pulling him forward towards the group. “How did you know we haven’t seen each other?” He asks Marjan, but it’s Paul who answers. “Your boy never shuts up, and it’s worse when your shifts don’t line up.” TK pinks up at the comment, and Carlos feels all warm. He knows both of them rarely hide how they feel for each other, but it fills him up with some sort of undeniable comfort, when someone else points it out. “Now come on, the celebration demands pictures before you have to leave.” Carlos has known them for a year now, and knows not to protest, that he is not a part of the fire-family or he is going to get an earful from all of them. So, he joins in.

“I’ll see you tonight” Carlos tells TK as he gets ready to leave. “You bet, I love you. Stay safe.” TK tells him. Giving him a small kiss. “I love you too.” Carlos whispers back, squeezing TK’s hands before getting into his car to drive to work.

-------------------------------------------

After leaving the firehouse, TK decides to take a nap at his own house, and prep a few things that he needs for tomorrow. The rest he will do when Carlos is with his parents. He packs a duffel for the weekend at Carlos’ although he has enough of his stuff there. He is back at Carlos’ before dark. Changing out of his jeans, he slips on a some sweats and Carlos’ APD hoodie, he relaxes on the couch, switching on some mindless TV waiting for Carlos to get back.

TK is waiting for Carlos when he gets home from his shift. Carlos had texted him when he was almost done with his work and was wrapping up. And in the meantime, TK had gone out and grabbed them the pancakes that he had promised. Once Carlos gets home, he got changed and joins TK on the couch.

“I can’t believe you have pulled me into the dark side” Carlos says, taking a bite of the pancake. “Pancakes at midnight is the best comfort food there is Carlos.” TK argues. Carlos, smiles at him, moving forwards, kissing the pout on his lips. TK tastes like the syrup and the blueberries from their mid-night snack. “I have to admit, I am enjoying them. I was a bit skeptical when you suggested it the first time.”

“My dad and I used to have pancakes at night. Sometimes after his late shift and I just couldn’t fall asleep, because that was the only time, I could spend with him. There was this diner, near his apartment in New York, we would go there and eat pancakes.” He admits softly.

Carlos’ heart breaks for TK, when he listens to him speak about times like that. He knows TK isn’t complaining, but he just wishes he could go back and hold the teenage TK in his arms all the time telling him he is not alone. Instead, he puts his plate down on the coffee table and gathers him up into his arms. “Thanks for telling me.” He murmurs to the crown of his head. “I didn’t mean to make this depressing.”

“Not depressing, okay?” he tells TK, pressing a kiss to his lips. TK hums in reply, moving his plate out of the way, to deepen the kiss. Carlos, lets out a soft laugh when they part for air, “Not in the mood for pancakes anymore?” He asks, smirking knowing where this is going. “Later,” is the only reply he gets, before TK is kissing him once again. They don’t think about the pancakes for a while.

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TK putters around the house once Carlos leave to meet his parents. He washes the dishes from the night before and this morning from the breakfast that Carlos cooked them both. He puts in the laundry as well. They have both been busy this past week, with nigh shifts and overtimes. Once that is done, he moves on to preparing for the date he plans for Carlos.

He decides to stick with his strengths, not attempting to cook anything big, but he does make something of an evening snack for them and puts everything into the basket he finds in the kitchen, along with all the other stuff. He puts everything in the back seat of his car.

TK opens the door when he hears the Camaro pull in with a bouquet of bright orange gerberas in his hand, before Carlos can use his keys to come in. “Hey” he greats him softly. “Hey, that for me? What’s the occasion?” Carlos asks, taking the flowers into one hand, and the other wrapping around TK’s waist, titling a bit to give him a kiss. “Baby, you are always the occasion” he says, with a smirk. “Smartass” Carlos replies with a chuckle, rubbing their noses together.

“Go on a date with me?” TK asks instead. “Flowers and a date, Ty?” Carlos smiles in question. “Will you?” TK has his lower lip between his lips, brows furrowed. “Of course. I’ll go on a date.” Carlos replies and TK. “Okay then” He replies, pulling them both towards his car in the driveway.

“You meant right now?” Carlos asks, “Of course.” He replies. “You didn’t have any afternoon plans, did you?” Carlos shakes his head no but stops TK from pulling him “Then at least let me put these in water, I don’t want them to get spoilt.”

-------------------------------------------

They drive for a little while, a bit outside the city and TK pulls up to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. “Why are we here in the middle of nowhere, Ty?” He asks, puzzled. “This is where we met, a year ago today…” TK starts slowly, “The car accident and the baby in the tree” Carlos remembers them meeting as vividly as if it happened yesterday, but he hadn’t remembered that this was the exact spot he had laid his eyes on the person who has now become the most important person in his life.

“Happy one year, ‘Los” TK whispers, bending over the console to give Carlos a lingering kiss. “I know we didn’t start dating till a few months after but meeting you that day is the best thing that happened to me in a long time.” He explains. “Happy one year Ty!” Carlos replies softly, as if speaking a bit louder will break the spell. “You are the best think that happened to me too.” He holds TK’s face in both his hand, pressing their lips together once again.

“So our date is here?” Carlos asks, although it is sentimental, it feels kind of weird to have a date at the edge of the road where they first met. “No” TK laughs. “I just wanted to bring you here, to tell you how much you mean to me, I guess. Now it kind of feels silly.” TK feels his cheeks tinge pink in embarrassment. This all seemed better in his head. “Hey, babe, not silly okay. It means a lot to me too. So, what was your plans?” he ask, gently running his fingers on TK’s neck.

Instead of answering, TK tilts his head a bit, kissing the inside of Carlos’ wrist, before taking the car out of park. They drive a bit more, before they reached the field where they spent the night of the solar flare. This time because Carlos is more aware, he catches up faster.

“The night of the Solar flare, when I decided to give us a real go.” TK says, although he knows that Carlos understands the significance of the place. “I know the sky is not all blue and green, but I thought we could have a picnic and watch the sunset?” he asks. “Yeah” Carlos breathes out.

In all his relationships, Carlos has been the one who has planned dates, made the grand gestures, he did that with TK as well. He never expected anything in return. “Come on” TK says getting out of the car and grabbing a basket and a rug from the back. He should have seen that he is a police officer, he is supposed to notice things, but he was paying attention to his gorgeous boyfriends. Carlos shakes his head, following TK out of the car.

They find a tree; below which TK spreads the rug out and puts the basket down. “Come here” he tells TK once he is sitting with his back to the trunk and looking at the horizon. TK goes willingly, settling between the V of Carlos’ legs, leaning into the chest. They are quiet for a few moments, just enjoying being with each other soaking in the calm and the quiet. Carlos occasionally tilting his head to press a kiss to TK’s head or TK pressing some kisses to Carlos’ jaw and neck, wherever he can reach, without moving too much.

After a while, when TK starts feeling a bit hungry, he shifts out from Carlos’ arms, but Carlos tightens his arms, whining a bit and nuzzles his nose into TK’s neck. “I thought we could eat something” TK tells him with a chuckle, indicating to the basket. With another kiss to the base of his head, Carlos lets him go. TK does not go far, pulling the basket closer and settling right next to Carlos, their shoulders and thighs touching this time. “Please tell me you didn’t cook?” Carlos asks teasingly. “I didn’t want to kill us both and burn your kitchen, but I made some sandwiches and I have some drinks.” TK says defensively. “So it’s a school picnic, then?” He asks, a teasing tone still in his voice. “Carlos” TK pouts. “Sorry sorry. I was just teasing” Carlos raises his arms up in surrender. They finish food TK has brought in comfortable silence.

It’s almost time for sunset, the colors in the sky are changing slightly when TK brings out a box from inside the basket. “Happy one year Carlos” he says handing it over. “What’s this?” He asks opening it, inside it is filled with scraps of paper.

“The first anniversary is the Paper Anniversary, these are our memories from last year” TK tells him softly. Indeed, inside all types of paper, which some people would have thrown out thinking they are scraps. The tab from their date at the bar, tickets stubs from their time at the drive through, post it notes that Carlos has left TK when he had to leave early, a card from the flowers he sent over among others.

“Ty…” He starts, not knowing what to say. He looks up from the box in his lap to TK’s face, beyond him the sky is a pretty shade of pinks and purples and oranges, but he can only see the pink on TK’s cheeks and his green eyes.

“Carlos, last year when I came here to Austin, it was because my dad dragged me here. My life was all grey and cold. Each day this past year, you have added color and warmth into my life. Last year all I wanted was to get through each day, but now I look forward to not just the next day but the years to come, with you, if you will have me.” TK holds both of Carlos’s hand in his. Carlos’ eyes fill with tears.

“Move in with me?” he says instead. “What?” TK asks, surprised by the question. “My life may not have been grey before you got here Tyler, but it is only in this past year that I knew there were so many colors. You changed my life. I know you stay over like most of the time, but move in with me officially, lets make memories at home?

“Yeah…” TK breaths, moving forwards, capturing Carlos’ lips in a bruising kiss. “Yes, yes, yes” he breathes out, punctuated by kisses. Carlos, returns the kisses just as enthusiastically, both of them smiling through the kisses.

Carlos has filled his life with so much joy and warmth, TK can’t wait to show him how much Carlos mean to him. And he is going to do just that, everyday until Carlos lets him.

[howtosingit]

Fic: I Just Wanted You to Know (This is Me Trying)

“My words shoot to kill when I’m mad / I have a lot of regrets about that / and maybe I don’t quite know what to say / but I’m here in your doorway”

*

Carlos makes a nice dinner, TK leaves in a hurry. But then, he comes back. (Immediately follows the 1x02 disaster dinner, not canon compliant.)

2.4K | Also on AO3

A/N: Taylor Swift made me write this. Title from “This is Me Trying,” my favorite song from Folklore. 

------

Carlos is nearly elbow-deep in soapy water as he scrubs forcefully on the baking dish in the sink. He knows that he could easily let it soak overnight, or put it in the dishwasher, but the nearly-mindless task helps him to calm down, and refocus. Besides, it may be nearly one in the morning, but he’s not falling asleep anytime soon.

His steel blue shirt still hangs open from when TK tried to rip it off of him only an hour before, reminding him that he should try to find the buttons before he steps on one when he’s barefoot. His mind is suddenly assaulted with the phantom feeling of lips on his neck, and he takes a deep breath, dropping the sponge into the water to tightly grip the counter in front of him. That’s the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now. 

He’s upset. Yes, at TK, for walking out without telling him what the fuck he did wrong. For acting like it was such a big deal for them to know something about each other besides what they look like when they come. For throwing his dinner and his feelings back in his face without any regard for what that would do to him.

But more than all of that, he’s mad at himself. He’s mad for always trying so hard, for always pushing people further than they want to go. He’s mad for letting the overwhelming feeling of a  connection that followed his hookup with TK drive him to force something deeper between them. He’s an attractive guy with a good job and a nice apartment and a cool car; that’s all men seem to want from him, and he should probably stop expecting anything else. 

It hurts. He’s 26-years-old, he’s known who he is since high school, and it’s not getting any easier. Living in Texas was never going to make being gay a walk in the park, but he doesn’t understand why he can’t find someone who’s willing to put in a little bit of effort. He can’t keep doing this casual string of hookups that feels endless, not when it leaves him feeling more like a shell of a person each and every time.

It felt different with TK. Carlos met him at work, for one. Here, he thought, is another man who gets it. Someone else who runs into dangerous situations because he wants to protect people. There was a relief, almost, of not having to worry about whether TK was only interested in him for his uniform, and he let that relief cloud his judgment, turning their brief and flirty interactions into the beginnings of something that was never meant to be. 

Carlos clenches his jaw, reaching back into the soapy water for the sponge. He can feel a slight headache coming on, probably from a combination of the lateness of the hour and the lack of food in his stomach. With a sigh, he gives up on the dishes, quickly drying his hands off on a dish towel. He’ll clean the rest of them in the morning, once he’s had a few hours of sleep. He moves towards the dining room table to grab his phone, when a knock on his front door stops him in his tracks.

He has no idea who would show up at his apartment at nearly one in the morning. For a moment, he hesitates, wondering how he should handle this. He lives in a nice neighborhood, and he’s not afraid of anybody who could be on his doorstep; on the other hand, an unexpected visitor in the middle of the night can only mean bad news, and Carlos feels his heart start to race as his adrenaline kicks in.  

He jumps a bit when his phone vibrates on the table next to him. Glancing down, he sees a text from the last person he ever expected to hear from again.

It’s me

Carlos swallows, his heart continuing to pound in his chest as he quickly moves towards the door. He pulls it open, his brows furrowing in complete confusion at the sight of the man before him.

TK stands against a background of darkness, his yellow hoodie bright in the light pouring through the open door. Carlos takes him in, searching for any sign of injury or some other explanation for what’s going on. He notices TK’s hands tucked away inside the front pocket of his sweatshirt, the way he bites down on his bottom lip, and the puffiness around his red eyes.

“TK,” Carlos starts, his voice oddly blank. “What are you doing here?”

The man just stares back at him, his body clearly tense as his eyes shift to look everywhere but directly at him. He feels his own face harden, his frustration mounting at the way that this man makes him feel so damn much, and he’s just about to tell TK to go home when the other man breaks the silence, his voice thin.

“I was in the area and I saw that your light was still on.”

Carlos stares back at him, confusion clear on his face. “You left an hour ago, TK,” he reminds him, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he plants his feet in the doorway. 

“Yeah,” TK admits, and Carlos watches as his green eyes shift down towards his chest; unlike before, he does not let the feeling of TK’s gaze on him affect him. At least not too much. “I, um, I took a walk around, to cool off a bit,” he explains, gesturing towards something in the distance that Carlos can’t see. “You have a really nice park at the end of your street.”

“You mean the park that closed at 10?” Carlos asks, raising an eyebrow. “What is this, are you trying to get arrested or something?”

TK visibly swallows, ducking his head down at Carlos’s chastisement. The act of uncertainty softens the edge he’s feeling, and he takes a deep breath, letting go of some of the tension in his shoulders. 

“Do you want to come inside?” he asks, watching as TK’s head shoots up at the unexpected question. Carlos can’t help the slight smile that pulls at his lips; as much as he wishes it wasn’t the case, he finds TK to be incredibly endearing.

“No, no, that’s okay,” TK hurries to assure him, shaking his head. “It’s late, and I don’t want to keep bothering you. I just,” he huffs, tipping his head back to look up at the clear night sky, “I just really hated the idea of you going to bed angry.”

It’s a statement that doesn’t really make sense to Carlos. Why would TK care if he’s mad or not? But it also makes his stomach twist in a knot, the idea that maybe his initial impression of the firefighter wasn’t entirely incorrect sparking his curiosity. He can’t help but want to know more about this contradiction of a person. 

With a nod, Carlos steps forward onto his front walk, pulling the door closed behind him. The unexpected action causes TK to jump back, giving Carlos space to sit down on his front step. He brings his knees up to his chest, folding his arms on top of them, and stares straight ahead at TK’s shoes.

“I’m more upset than angry,” he admits, rubbing at his brow as he works out what he wants to say, “and most of what I’m feeling isn’t even about you. I mean, there’s a lot of confusion, which is definitely your fault, but the anger is more at myself.”

He sees TK shift in front of him, rocking from side-to-side, before he moves forward to take a seat next to Carlos. A sudden warmth flares up on Carlos’s right side at his proximity, but he tries his best to ignore it. 

“Why would you be angry at yourself?” TK asks gently, and Carlos can picture his face: his brown eyebrows furrowed in confusion above those soft, twinkling green eyes. He wants more than anything to look over at him, drink him in, but he knows he’s just asking for trouble if he does. So, instead, he continues to stare straight ahead.

“Most guys that I meet, they’re kind of just in it for sex,” he replies, bringing his hand up to run through the hair at the back of his head. “Like, I’m not a stranger to casual hookups, even if I really would like something more for myself. But those guys, I usually meet on an app, or at a club, and I try not to have too many expectations.

“I guess just because of the way we first met, the fact that it was different from those others, I made some assumptions about us and what this might mean,” he continues. “I’m sorry that I acted on them and put you in a weird place.”

There’s silence after he finishes speaking, the two of them just sitting side-by-side on his front step at one in the morning. It’s completely bizarre, and Carlos doesn’t really know what’s happening, but he’s not uncomfortable with it. There’s just something about TK beside him that lessens his concerns a little bit.

He’s a little shocked when he feels a weight on his arm, and he looks down to see TK’s fingers curled gently around his bicep. He turns to look at him, unsurprised to find the exact face that he was expecting, furrowed eyebrows and twinkling eyes. It steals his breath from his lungs, the absolute beauty of this man.

“I’m sorry, too,” TK says, his voice quiet. “For not being clear about what I wanted, and then for being an asshole when you couldn’t read my mind.” 

They hold the look for a moment before Carlos nods, staring ahead again as he twists his fingers together in front of him. “Apology accepted.”

“I’m also sorry about the shirt,” TK adds, and Carlos can hear humor behind the words. “I can buy you a new one.”

The image of TK pressed up against him, forcibly tearing his shirt open, flashes through his mind, and Carlos feels his heart rate quicken at the memory. “Don’t worry about it,” he assures him, his voice coming out a little shaky. “My mom taught me how to sew buttons back on.”

From next to him, TK lets out a sudden loud laugh, the sound shooting straight through his chest. He turns to look at him, a smile forming at the look of absolute joy that has taken over TK’s face. “What?” he asks, trying not to laugh, too. It’s a truly weird night.

“Don’t tell me she got so tired of men tearing your clothes off that she forced you to learn how to sew them back together,” TK cries, an odd light dancing in his eyes. 

“Of course not, you jerk,” Carlos says, leaning over to nudge TK in annoyance. “She just wanted me to learn how to do things on my own. Don’t you make fun of my mama, TK Strand.” 

“I would never,” TK says, his grin sliding into a look of intense seriousness. Carlos raises an eyebrow at him, questioning his honesty. TK simply stares back, his eyes still dancing, before shaking his head and lowering his gaze down to his lap. “My god, who are you?” he questions suddenly, his voice rising in what sounds like disbelief. “You cook, you sew, your apartment is fully-furnished, you have a job, you’re the sexiest man I’ve ever met, you’re so fucking nice. Just, like, how are you even real?”

He ends with a loud groan, his body collapsing against Carlos as he rests his head against his shoulder. Carlos can feel a heat rising up the back of his neck as he stares down at him in shock, having now idea how to answer the man.

“You know, for the record,” TK says after a quiet moment, his head still pressed against Carlos, “I like you for more than just sex.

“I know it probably doesn’t seem like it,” he continues, his voice low, “but it’s true. I know I freaked out on you, it was all just really intense and unexpected and it took me to some bad places that still feel really raw. I thought I could handle just the physical stuff and deal with the emotional baggage later, but it kind of blew up in my face. And yours.”

Carlos listens carefully, trying to fill in the gaps with everything that TK’s not telling him. It’s obvious that TK has some skeletons in his closet, maybe recently gathered, that will help to explain his behavior this evening, but he doesn’t know if he should ask about them. Except, his heart can’t help but cling to TK’s initial declaration, about how he likes Carlos for more than just his body, and that pushes him to take a chance.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he hedges gently, trying not to spook the other man. TK lets out a sigh, shifting against him to prop his chin on top of Carlos’s shoulder, looking up at him. Carlos looks back, their faces close as they study one another. Those green eyes are absolutely stunning.  

“I think I do,” TK admits, bringing his hand up to drag his fingers along Carlos’s jaw. “But it’s a long story, so maybe not tonight. Is that okay?”

Carlos nods before he even has a chance to consider it, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. “Yeah, TK, that’s okay. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here.”

He finds that he means that.

Before he can overthink it, he leans up to press a soft kiss at TK’s hairline, hearing the way the action draws a heavy breath from the other man. Slowly, Carlos relaxes back against his front door, wrapping an arm around TK’s waist to pull him closer. The firefighter goes willingly, folding himself against Carlos’s side as his hand comes up to rest against his exposed chest. 

They stay there in the stillness of the Texas night, letting time move on without them. Carlos closes his eyes for a moment as he relishes the opportunity to finally be more for someone, just this once. Just like he’s always wanted.

It’s even better than he expected.

[221bsunsettowers]

TK/Carlos: Please Don’t Go Where I Can’t Follow

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Pairing: TK/Carlos

Prompt: Dissociation

Carlos is missing, kidnapped by a criminal he brought down during an undercover operation, and TK is frantic. When they do find Carlos, they realize he's been shown a faked photograph of a murdered TK, and has completely disassociated.

I promise that everything does end up okay at the end! I always have to have my hurt/comfort angst with a happy ending. I can’t whump these boys permanently.

I did research on dissociation before and while writing this piece, but I can't promise my writing is medically accurate. Please know I tried, and I apologize for any inaccuracies.

CW: dissociation, some blood and bruising, faked photograph of a character having been murdered, one use of the f word

Can also be read on Ao3 here

It had taken three hours and fourteen minutes to find Carlos.

It had taken three hours and fourteen minutes after TK's phone rang, after he was told Carlos had answered what should have been a simple domestic dispute call, and never came back. That the house he had been called to was deserted and had been for years. That the only sign anyone had been there was blood soaked into the rug.

Three hours and fourteen minutes and the scent was fading off of Carlos' hoodie, the one TK had plucked from the closet just that morning, smirking at his boyfriend before Carlos had walked over with a laugh and kissed the smirk right off TK's lips.

Any members of the 126 that were off shift had immediately joined the search, paired up with any police officers that weren't already running down leads. TK had wanted to be everywhere at once, out there finding Carlos, at the police station listening to the tips and reports, at their home in case Carlos managed to make it there.

In the end, it was decided for him, his father and Carlos' captain finding a nearby hallway at the police station where TK could pace up and down its length, ringing Carlos' cell phone over and over, closing his eyes and soaking in the sound of his boyfriend through the words of his voicemail.

TK didn't eat, didn't rest, didn't stop moving, the absence of the love of his life like molten lava under his skin, burning and stinging and bringing tears to his eyes, wearing out his strength and hope with every minute it settled and hardened in his veins. The hood of Carlos' sweatshirt was pulled over TK's head, and when it all got to be too much he would turn his face and breathe in, trying to let the rememnants of his boyfriend's scent bring him any sort of comfort.

When the call finally came, it was an officer reporting that he and his partner had spotted Carlos through the window of an abandoned warehouse. From what they could tell, he was tied to a chair, three guys guarding him. And Carlos had looked limp, unmoving, head hanging low, and there was definitely blood.

Backup was already running out of the station and to their squad cars, but TK had collapsed to the floor, weeping into Owen's shirt, clutching at him with clenched fists. "We know where he is," Owen murmured soothingly into TK's ear, arms wrapped around his son. "And we're going to go to him, and we'll take it from there, okay?"

TK nodded, sniffled, rising from the floor and tucking his trembling hands into the sleeves of Carlos' hoodie. Owen kept an arm around his waist as he led him to the car.

When they reached the warehouse, TK leapt from the car as soon as it had slowed down enough. He had spent the ride running through every world-ending possible scenario in his mind, unable to turn off the terrifying thought that Carlos was dead or dying and their forever had already ended. Owen had had to pull off the road for a moment so TK could fall to his knees in the dirt and retch next to the car, his dad's hand rubbing circles on his back.

Now that he was this close to Carlos, TK couldn't stop himself, body magnetized to his boyfriend's orbit, and he was sprinting through the door and dropping to his knees next to the chair, hands fumbling to grab the wrists an officer had just released from the zip ties.

Feeling a pulse, too slow but still steady, TK gave himself one shaky exhale of relief before forcing his gaze up to sweep the rest of the scene before him. Carlos' face was bruised, his shirt slashed front and back with what were clearly shallow knife strokes, leaving narrow cuts still trickling blood.

But what was most heartstopping was the look in Carlos' eyes.

It was like there was no one there. Like Carlos' body was an empty shell. TK had seen so many expressions in those beautiful eyes, but never a complete lack of anything.

"Carlos, baby, it's me," TK murmured, gingerly cupping Carlos' face between his trembling hands. "Can you answer me, sweetheart? Let me know what's going on?"

Michelle had appeared, but Carlos did not react when she carefully cut off the remaining fabric of his shirt, his arms limp and dropping back to their previous place the minute her hold was released. TK knew Michelle was fighting back tears as she started cleaning and bandaging Carlos' wounds. TK had no power to resist his own sobs, tears streaming down his cheeks as he continued calling to Carlos.

"Please, Carlos, please, please come back to me, please," TK begged through his tears, and at the lack of response again, whipped his head around to the nearest police officer. "What the hell happened? Do you know what's going on?"

"We found him like this," the man responded, expressed pained as he took in the unresponsive form of his fellow officer. "I don't know, but this guy," he jerked his head at the wide-eyed, terrified, and handcuffed teenager next to him, "says he'll tell us what happened if we put in a good word for him at the station."

"Absolutely, anything, please, just tell me what happened, tell me what's going on." TK barely registered he was begging again, this time at a complete and utter stranger.

"My boss knew he'd been involved in an undercover op ," the teenager gestured towards Carlos, "and he wanted to know where exactly in the station his drugs had ended up. The cop wouldn't tell him, even after he beat him up some, got the knife." TK's body flinched involuntarily, tense with anger and heartbreak, and the teen spoke even faster. "Then he showed the cop that photo, and instead of spilling the details he just totally shut down. Then you guys came in."

Bending down, the officer picked up the indicated photo from the ground, and let out an involuntary "Fuck". Eyeing TK uneasily, he sighed, handing over the picture.

"Oh god," TK choked out, the picture shaking violently in his hands. He knew it was a photoshop, a damn good one but still fake, of course he did, he was here alive wasn't he, but Carlos couldn't have known. All Carlos would have seen was TK's dead body, bullet hole in his forehead, bullet hole to the heart, blood soaking through that yellow hoodie they both knew so well (and TK couldn't believe they had gone to that level of detail, didn't want to think about how they had found that out, but of course that was the kind of thing that would have immediately convinced Carlos).

"Ok, ok I know what's going on," Michelle's shaky voice came from over TK's shoulder."He's having a dissociative episode. He couldn't handle what he was seeing and he...he deconnected. Loss of feelings, depersonalisation, derealisation..." She trailed off, and TK turned his gaze on her, eyes pleading.

"How do I fix this, Michelle? How do I get him back?" TK wasn't even sure his words were understandable at this point, he was crying so hard, but Michelle squared her shoulders, biting her lip.

"Ok, you should try engaging his senses. Give him something familar to feel, really ground him with your touch, anything that smells like you, talk to him, but TK, I can't...I can't promise, I don't know..." She choked back a sob.

TK immediately pulled off the hoodie he was wearing, knowing it now smelled like a mixture of him and Carlos, and threaded Carlos' arms through the sleeves, zipping it up to the very top and pulling the hood up around his boyfriend's face.

"Carlos, baby, it's me, it's TK, I'm right here, I love you so much, so so much baby," TK kept up an unending stream of endearments, gaze glued on Carlos' face, and he thought for a second he saw a flash of familarity in his eyes. Grabbing Carlos' hand, TK slid it up under his shirt, pressing his boyfriend's palm skin against skin right over TK's frantically beating heart, then used his other hand to gently cup the back of Carlos' neck, brushing their lips against each other.

For a moment, nothing happened.

Then TK heard a soft "Ty?" breathed against his lips, and he dared to open his eyes. He gasped as he saw Carlos start to cry, eyes full and familiar, and TK caught him as he collapsed off the chair and onto the floor.

"It's me, baby, I promise, it's me, I'm okay, I'm fine, it's all going to be alright," TK chanted into the crook of Carlos' neck, pressing his promises into his boyfriend's sweat-soaked skin. He clutched Carlos to him as their bodies shook and they sobbed, not even registering the warehouse clearing around them, Michelle pressing a hand to her heart as she tearfully moved outside with her kit at the ready.

"That photo," Carlos choked out, and TK shook his head, pulling back just enough so Carlos' could see his face.

"They faked it, I'm not hurt, not a scratch, I've just been a wreck over you, sweetheart," TK assured him, and Carlos shot forward, pressing their lips together hard enough that their teeth clinked together, and TK poured every ounce of love inside him into the bruising kiss. With a oh so grateful gasp, Carlos softened, and the kiss did too, mouths meeting again and again, Carlos seeming to settle more and more into his body as TK gently kissed his way across the bruises scattered across Carlos' face.

"Hey there Tiger," Carlos finally said, voice stronger, and TK laughed in sheer relief, resting their foreheads together.

"Hey there love," TK answered, and he saw a smile begin to turn up the edges of Carlos' lips. "There you are."

@bikingthroughhawkins​ @officereyes​ @i-had-bucky​, @highqualitykhakis​ @meloingly​

If you want to be added to my Tarlos tag list just let me know!

@badthingshappenbingo​

[reyesstrand]

not sure if I’m allowed to send another but, what about 85 for tarlos?

sorry for the wait for this, but this idea got in my head and it kind of got out of control — a good ending to this series, i guess!! i hope you enjoy! 

prompt taken from this list. also available on ao3!!

Three weeks to the day after the solar flare, Carlos receives a cryptic text from his mom: come for lunch today?

He mulls it over; he loves his mother, and it’s no secret to anybody that knows him that he’s a total mama’s boy, but there’s got to be a reason behind her impromptu meal, and an evil part of his mind tells him it has to be bad news. She doesn’t mention anything about his sisters joining them, and Carlos doesn’t know if that should stress him out more or less. If it’s something bad, he’d assume that he and his sisters would find out at the same time — but that only leaves him more confused.

She’s a strong woman, and is a complete health-nut — ever since his abuela started having mobility issues, his mother’s been a champion for organic eating and natural sleep aids and doing yoga every morning. Carlos can’t put bad news from the doctor completely off the table, but he starts to drift towards the other countless possibilities — and so he can’t say no to her. Even if it’s his only day off that lines up with TK’s schedule, he spares a glance at his softly snoring boyfriend before figuring the man’s close enough with his own father that he’ll have to understand a shift in plans. And so Carlos finds himself more alert than he’d been when he’d rubbed sleep from his eyes and initially checked his phone five minutes ago, thumbs hovering over the screen before he sends her a simple of course, mami, and sets about getting ready for the day after pressing a quick kiss to TK’s hairline.

He’s showered and had his coffee and is trying to quietly get dressed when Carlos hears TK groan and grumble, clearly fighting between catching a little more sleep and getting out of bed. Carlos watches with a small smile as TK slowly sits up when he realizes he’s alone in bed, before their gazes catch, and his heart soars as TK’s eyes visibly light up at seeing him.

“Everything okay?” TK asks, voice still deep and groggy, and Carlos nods as he starts on buttoning up his shirt.

“We might have to change our plans today,” Carlos says apologetically. “I really—fuck, I really wanted to spend he day with you, but my mom wants me to come over and she usually doesn’t spring stuff like that on me unless there’s something wrong, and—”

“Hey,” TK cuts him off, and Carlos raises his brows at him. “It’s okay, seriously. Marjan’s been bugging me to take Buttercup to get some pampering, anyway.”

“You’re the best,” Carlos says, and TK grins at him.

“Damn straight.”

TK tilts his head up, clearly looking for a kiss. Carlos huffs out a laugh and comes in close, so their mouths are nearly touching, before he whispers, “You have no shame, do you.”

“Nope,” TK grins, eyes crinkling in the corners, popping the p before he closes the space between them and gets the kiss he wanted. “I’ll see you later, though?”

His eyes shine with hopefulness, and Carlos nods earnestly. “I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.”

There’s another brief kiss, before Carlos sighs as he presses their foreheads together.

“I hate just leaving on you,” Carlos admits, even though the thoughts surrounding what his mom’s intentions are with lunch are swirling around his mind.

“I’ll be fine,” TK says, ducking forward to press another kiss to the corner of Carlos’ mouth. “Say hi to your mom for me.”

It’s only half a joke — TK’s been talking, metaphorically, about meeting Carlos’ family for a week or so. He mentions it whenever Carlos talks about childhood memories or a story from one of his sisters, noting that Carlos has known his dad technically even before he knew TK. But it never evolves from a few jokes, and even though Carlos wants nothing more than to continue to make their relationship solidified through introducing each other properly to the people that mean the most to them, he doesn’t know how to seriously approach that subject.

Instead of trying now, Carlos leaves with a promised, “I’ll see you later,” before he grabs his keys and phone and makes his way out of his home.

The half-hour drive goes by mostly in a blur, because he’s too caught up in what might unfold at the lunch. They usually try to have big family dinners bi-weekly, due to everyone’s work schedules and his sister’s kids’ schedules, but he can’t remember the last time a meal like this was just dropped on him the day-of. He does have the right state of mind to stop and grab his mom a bouquet of lilies, her favourite, before he pulls up to the humble farmhouse he’d lived in his whole childhood.

“Is everything okay?”

The words are out of his mouth within seconds of stepping into the house, half-startling his mother as she pours out two glasses of sweet tea.

“Can’t I ask my favourite son to have lunch with me when I know it’s his day off?”

Carlos flushes a bit, handing the flowers to his mom as she pulls him in for a hug. “I’m your only son.”

“Still my favourite,” she grins, smacking a kiss on his cheek before she gestures toward the back deck. He follows her, taking a deep breath as he goes.

* * *

“I know something is up, baby.”

He'd been expecting something regarding her own well-being or health, or his abuela's, so when the conversation turns to him he's sort of confused. And Carlos has grown up hearing from people that he has his mother’s eyes, and as he looks into them now, he thinks he sees the similarities as she looks at him with a particular warmth laced with concern he’s been accustomed to since he was born.

“You know, I saw an interesting photo of you the other day,” she says it off-handedly, but Carlos still manages to choke on his drink. She doesn’t hesitate, going on to describe the picture he knows intimately because he posted it to his Instagram only forty-eight hours ago: him and TK, smiling as they stand close, too close to just be friendly to any onlooker, taken by Paul in the late hours of the night as they strolled around downtown after their shifts. He hadn’t even considered his family seeing the photo, and he silently rues the day his sisters made their mother various social media accounts so she could keep up with their lives. Her voice turns soft, as she squeezes his arm and asks, “Is there something you want to tell me?”

“Uh, I have to pee.”

He says it quickly enough that he can run off to inside the house, where the remnants of their lunch sits scattered over the counter. Carlos beelines for the bathroom and leans against the sink as he pulls out his phone.

how do you feel about my mom knowing about you?

seriously.

Carlos sends the messages to TK and taps his phone against the heel of his palm as he waits for a response. He thinks back to his mother’s implications — that she knows about them, is okay with them — and figures that he could always lie. It’ll look suspicious as hell, of course, after he just fucked off like that, but he’s never really brought any boyfriends around before. Mainly because he’s never been in a serious enough relationship to warrant that. But he thinks — he knows that there’s something real between him and TK, and he wouldn’t hate his mom and eventually his sisters knowing about him and meeting him and welcoming him into the fold of their family dynamic. But he needs to make sure this is still something TK’s okay with, that it’s going at his pace.

TK texts him back quickly, like always. i was serious about wanting to meet her someday. maybe even soon. so if you want to talk about me i support you.

you’re sure? Carlos texts back, as he feels his nerves starting to both tamper off and confusingly grow at the same time as he walks toward the backyard again, preparing to let his mother into this part of his life.

100%. tell her only the good things, i wanna impress her, TK replies, along with a string of heart emojis. Carlos huffs a little, quickly typing out, she’ll love you no matter what, before pocketing his phone and sliding back into his seat across from his mother.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, meeting her eyes, and as he opens his mouth to continue, she quickly interjects.

“Don’t lie to me, Carlos,” she warns, though there’s warmth behind her words, a desperate plea to tell him that she wants to be included in this part of his life, no matter how new it might be. "You know you can talk to me."

So Carlos takes another deep breath, not really looking at his mother as he whispers: “I met someone, mami.”

He stares down at the ground; after a few seconds, he shifts his gaze to stare at the blooming gardens that live in clusters around the yard, various vegetables and flowers alike growing with vengeance as the summer welcomes them back into the world. When she makes a noise and he finally meets her gaze again, she’s looking at him with nothing but fondness.

“Oh, baby,” his mom is smiling, now, and she brings his face close to press a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s only been official for a few weeks but, um, I really like him,” Carlos admits, as his mother lovingly squeezes his hand. With a laugh, he adds: “I like him a lot. And I’d love for you to meet him.”

His mother leans forward and curls her arms around him, like she did when he was a kid and he felt too small to conquer the world, and he immediately feels calm wash over him. “I would love to, mijo.”

(Carlos has a flash of a memory, then, coming out when he was fifteen years old and terrified but desperate for his truth to be known. He first told his older sister Camila, and then his mother a couple of days later, and he remembers so vividly how they hugged his then-tiny frame, all knobbly bones and a height he was getting used to, both of them supportive and loving and adamant that nothing would change how much they love him. He towers over both of them now, but he feels protected in his mother’s arms, like he always has).

As they pull out of the hug, his mother elbows him good-naturedly. “Alright, tell me about this boy then.”

His mama’s grinning at him teasingly as she says it, and Carlos sits back and huffs out a laugh of his own, rubbing the back of his neck.

“His name’s TK. He’s a firefighter,” Carlos says, barely holding back a bigger smile when his mother makes an approving face at that tidbit of information. “He’s—he’s funny and beautiful and has the warmest heart.”

“I’m so happy for you,” his mother says, eyes bright with love, as if just listening to him talk about TK has made her realize how truly happy he is. And maybe it's allowed himself to look at inside retrospectively and figure out that yeah, he is happier than he's ever been. “I’m sure I’ll love him. You’ll have to bring him around.”

“I will,” Carlos promises, feeling like he’s floating on air. “Oh, and he’s from New York City.”

He says it pointedly, knowing his mother’s always wanted to travel to the Big Apple.

“Well,” his mother says, “I guess we’ll have to show your city boy how we do family dinners, then.”

She brings him in for another hug as she smiles, before she goes off to refill their glasses. Carlos sits back, considering the idea of TK being a part of his family, for good — and he finds that he wants nothing else in the world.

[bellakitse]

This is our fate - I'm yours

‘Alcohol and one-night stands are messy; don’t sleep with your regulars.’ This is a personal rule Carlos lives by to run a good bar.

The first time Carlos Reyes sees TK in his bar, two things happen. One – he almost drops a brand new bottle of Jack as TK flashes him a smile across the bar. Two – he knows instantly as he stares at the ridiculously good-looking guy, he’s going to break his rule.

for @beka1820 on her birthday, I love you more than words can say, thank you for always being there for me and being my friend.

Carlos Reyes looks around his bar, it’s a slow Wednesday night, just a few of his usual first responders coming in for a drink after whatever grueling shift they just came off. When he was twenty years old, still in college with no idea what he wanted to do with his life, he couldn’t imagine that seven years later, he would own the bar he’d only started working at to ensure he wouldn’t have to eat ramen every night. While being a bar owner hadn’t been on the vision board of his life, he can’t say he regrets it.

He was lucky that his old boss, a grumpy redneck with a love for whiskey had taken him under his wing, teaching him not just how to tend the bar, but also the business aspects of owning the place. It wasn’t long before Carlos was placing orders and keeping the books. It took him a while to realize that the old kook was grooming him to take over, putting the place in Carlos’ name when he was ready to retire.

He still remembers driving the man to the airport – Florida bound – his boss had given him two things. The keys to the bar, and one final piece of advice. ‘Alcohol and one-night stands are messy; don’t sleep with your regulars.’

While it made him laugh, Carlos took the advice to heart. In the seven years that he has worked the bar, he’s never accepted anyone’s advances. He’s seen more than enough of his coworkers dealing with uncomfortable situations to know it’s not worth it. He’s never once been tempted to break his rule.

That all changes the first time he looks into the prettiest green eyes he’s ever seen.

Tyler Kennedy Strand.

The first time Carlos Reyes sees TK in his bar, two things happen. One – he almost drops a brand new bottle of Jack as TK flashes him a smile across the bar. Two – he knows instantly as he stares at the ridiculously good-looking guy, he’s going to break his rule. He doesn’t even second guess it. He knows without a shadow of a doubt that he’s going to have the firefighter spread out on his bed, moaning his name. As he and TK eye-fuck each other, his body clenching with want and need when TK dares to wink at him, a playful smirk on his face as he wraps his mouth around the straw in his mineral water, Carlos knows it’s not a matter of if, but when.

“Heads up,” Iris Blake, his friend, and employee murmurs as she goes around him to grab a half-finished bottle of grey goose. “Your walking wet dream just came through the door for your standard weeknight flirting.”

Carlos can’t help the smile that comes over his face; it’s automatic whenever TK comes around. He turns around to greet him, his hello freezing when he sees the bruises on his face.

“What the hell happened?” he all but shouts, already making his way around the bar to get to him. Iris looks over at them, frowning first at his volume and then as she looks over at the firefighter. TK waves their concern away but doesn’t sidestep him when he reaches out and cups his face. He touches him softly, his fingers tracing lightly over a bump above his brow. “What happened, sweetheart?” he asks, the endearment slipping pass his lips without a second thought. The fact is that Carlos has thought of TK as his sweetheart the last four months that they’ve known each other.

“A house fire, got banged up a bit,” TK murmurs, closing his eyes for a moment when Carlos runs his hand down his cheek to his neck. “I’m fine; Michelle checked me out.”

“You should be resting in bed,” he scolds him gently after looking him over, there is a slight tiredness to his expression to go with the bruises.

“And miss the chance to see your face?” TK asks teasingly as he rests his hands on Carlos’ waist. The closeness makes Carlos’ heart skip. They have been blurring with the line between friends and more for weeks now, and he thinks as TK looks up at him with soft green eyes that the line is about to disappear tonight. “I wanted to see you,” he continues, his hands squeeze his waist, it makes Carlos take a step closer until his front is brushing TK’s. “The whole time Michelle was yelling at me for being reckless; all I wanted was to come and see you.”

Carlos lets out a steadying breath, and licks his lips, closing his eyes when TK lets out a needy sound as he watches him. Opening them after a moment, he sees the desire in TK’s eyes along with something Carlos can only describe as affection.

“You should be in bed,” he tells him again.

TK rolls his eyes at him, letting out a huff. “I’m fine, Carlos, really I –“

“You should be in my bed,” he cuts him off, anticipation coursing through him at the thought. “Upstairs – with me. What do you say?”

TK’s eyes go wide, he swallows hard and nods quickly. “Yes,” he says breathlessly. “Yes, please.”

Carlos nods back at him, unable to say anything when he wants him so badly. He turns to call out to Iris only to find her at the edge of the bar, both hands under her chin as she watches them like they’re the best show in town. He rolls his eyes as he takes in her wide smile.

“Guess that rule of yours is going out the window tonight,” she quips, her light eyes dancing with delight when he rolls his eyes again. “About damn time.”

TK lets out a small huff of laughter before pressing himself against his side, he tucks his face into Carlos’ neck, his lips sliding across the underside of his jaw.

It makes him shiver.

“Can you handle closing by yourself?” he asks her, while Iris grins even harder as she nods.

“No problem, boss,” she answers cheekily. “You just take care of your man,” she winks before walking away from them, heading for one of their regulars asking for a refill.

“Yeah,” TK murmurs against his ear, running the tip of his nose over Carlos’ cheek. “Take care of your man, baby.”

Carlos turns his head; he cups the back of TK’s neck, making sure to catch his eyes. “Is that what you are?” he asks, his voice no more than a whisper, his heart thundering under his chest. “Are you my man?”

TK looks at him, any hint of teasing wiped from his expression. “I’ve been yours since the moment I laid eyes on you,” he answers, soft, sure, and adoring. No one has ever looked at Carlos like that, and he’s sure if he looked in the mirror right now, he would see the same expression on his own face. He is in love with TK Strand. “Now, take me upstairs, Carlos.”

Carlos doesn’t whimper, but it’s close, he slides his hand down TK’s arm, interlocking their fingers before navigating around tables and his regulars as he guides them to the side door that leads upstairs. TK keeps close; when they make it upstairs to his apartment, he slides in behind him, his chin on Carlos’ shoulder, his arms wrapped around his waist, and fingers slip under his shirt running gently over the tender skin of Carlos’ stomach.

“Is this finally happening?” TK whispers against his neck.

Carlos turns around in his arms, never breaking TK’s hold on him; instead, he wraps his own arms around him, pulling him flush against him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, taking in the scrapes on TK’s face.

TK gives him a soft nod. “I am,” he assures him, a slow, wicked smile working it’s way to his face. “But I bet you if you kiss me, it will make it all even better.”

Carlos laughs, feeling giddy as TK grins at him.

“Come here then,” he murmurs, leaning in to close the small distance between them. The moment their lips touch, it’s everything Carlos has been fantasizing about for the last few months and more. He moans into the kiss, and TK answers it with a sound of his own, his lips parting under his mouth in a kiss meant to consume him. His tongue slips inside his mouth, letting Carlos taste him, and he’s instantly hooked. He thinks he’s always known that once he’s tasted TK Strand’s mouth, no other would do.

“I’ve had dreams about this,” TK whispers in between wet lingering kisses. “About you, about us.”

TK grabs his face between his hands; the next kiss he gives him is achingly gentle. “We are going to be so good, baby,” he tells him as his hand slides down Carlos’ stomach cupping him through his pants.

Carlos groans softly at the promise and wandering hand. He reluctantly pulls away when TK starts to rub him through his jeans.

“I’ve been dreaming about this too,” he tells him when TK pouts at him. “And in my dreams, I don’t come in my pants like a teenager.”

“No?” TK questions, his eyebrow, and the corner of his mouth quirking upward. “What did you dream about?”

Carlos retakes his hand, leading him towards his bedroom. “Mostly? I dreamed about you saying my name as I fucked you into the mattress,” he answers, smirking when he hears TK take in a sharp breath.

He doesn’t get to say anything else when TK turns him around, pulling him into a hard, desperate kiss, his hands grabbing at the edge of his shirt. He pulls back enough to yank it over Carlos’ head before he dives back in, kissing his mouth before his lips move across his jaw and down his chest. Carlos lets out a groan deep in his throat when TK presses his tongue against his nipple, his body tightening in response. It snaps him into action; he’s thought about this moment too much not to live out every thought he’s had.

He helps TK out of his shirt before going for his pants; the next few minutes, they help each other get off every piece of clothing while keeping their mouths on one another.

Carlos pulls back to look at TK, raising an eyebrow when he sees a few more bruises on the left side of his ribs. “Just a little banged up, huh,” he says dryly as he touches the injuries gently.

TK gives him an unconcerned shrug; he’s too busy looking at Carlos’ naked body up and down. “You’re perfect, baby,” he says softly. “You have no idea how much I want you.”

Carlos gives him an absent nod, he takes TK’s face between his hands, and presses his forehead against his, closing his eyes as TK circles his hands around him, his fingers glide over his spine. “I do know,” he answers. “It’s exactly how much I want you, TK,” he opens his eyes to look at him, his heart beating harder with every word. “Sometimes, it feels like I have wanted you forever. Even before I even knew you, I wanted you.”

TK looks at him with wide eyes, his face so close that Carlos can see every emotion in them. He lets out a shaky breath, his hold on Carlos tightening. “Me too,” he whispers as he visibly swallows.

Carlos closes his eyes again, smiling when TK brushes his mouth against his. It’s gentle for a moment before it turns hot and intense as they get lost in their feelings for each other. He walks TK towards his bed, never breaking the kiss as he lays him back, hovering over him. He runs his hands over TK’s shoulders and down his arms, taking hold of his hands. Linking their fingers, Carlos brings TK’s hands above his head, pressing them into the mattress.

“Keep them there for me, okay baby?” he whispers against TK’s lips, smiling softly when TK lets out a soft moan, bobbing his head rapidly as he agrees.

Carlos kisses his mouth one more time; he gives his bottom lip a soft tug before he starts to move his way down TK’s body. He kisses and licks every inch of TK he can, paying extra attention at the thankfully few bruises he has.

“You have to promise me you’re going to be more careful,” he says against his ribs. “You said you were mine.”

TK nods quickly, his hips lifting off the bed when Carlos runs his tongue over his pubic bone. “I am,” he says breathlessly, spreading his thighs for him when Carlos gives one a soft squeeze.

Carlos settles on his stomach between his legs, spreading TK open even further. He looks up at TK’s body and the beautiful blush that has spread over it. His cock inches from his face is hard and perfect; it makes Carlos’ mouth water.

“Carlos – “ TK gets out. He looks up to find TK’s eyes on him, wild and a darker shade of green. “Please – put your mouth on me.”

Carlos lets out a low groan at the request right before doing as TK asks. He takes the head of his cock in his mouth, licking at the precum gathered at the slit. He moans again at the taste of him, his moan blending with TK’s.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” TK rambles as Carlos takes him in deeper.

He wastes no time, swallowing TK down until he nudges at his throat. He presses his tongue on the underside of TK’s cock and is rewarded with a desperate moan from him, his hips lifting again helplessly as he tries to sink deeper into Carlos’ mouth.

Carlos sucks at him, and he’s not sure who’s enjoying it more, him or TK, but he thinks it might be him. He finally has the chance to have TK the way he’s wanted him since the moment he first saw him.

“I’m going to come,” TK warns him, gasping when Carlos just hollows in his cheeks as he sucks him harder.

Carlos swallows around TK when he comes, licking at him until he’s soft. He takes his mouth off him when TK lets out a small whine. Sliding up his body, Carlos lands on his side next to TK, watching him as he catches his breath.

“What about you?” TK asks, turning his head to face him.

“It can wait,” he says easily even though he feels himself half-hard against his thigh.

“But – “ TK starts only to stop when Carlos leans in to kiss him.

“It can wait, baby,” he repeats against TK’s mouth. He moves on to his back, opening his arms for TK to settle against him. “Right now, I just want to hold you.”

TK lets out a sigh, a reluctant smile on his face as he curves into his side, resting his head on his chest. “This is because I’m banged up, isn’t it?” he questions. “You softie,” he pokes his stomach jokingly. “I thought you said you were going to fuck me into the mattress.”

Carlos grins at the words. “I thought you said you were mine?” he questions again, his stomach clenching when TK takes in a sharp breath.

It’s one thing to say that in the heat of the moment.

After a second, TK nods, he turns his head to press his lips against his skin. “I am, I’m yours.”

Carlos lets out the breath he’s holding; his heart thunders like it’s going to burst from all the love he’s feeling. He places his hand under TK’s chin, tilting it up until their eyes meet.

“I’m yours too,” he tells him. He sees the same love reflecting back in TK’s eyes. “And we have all the time in the world.”

[stydiaeverafter]

24. “Just because.”

Summary: Carlos has a bad day, luckily TK knows how to fix it.

Read the collection on ao3

Carlos was having one of those days—the kind that started off crappy from the moment you woke up and did the domino effect for the rest of it.

First of all, he woke up late. He had a nightly routine of putting away electronics, reading, and getting to bed at a reasonable time. That all changed when TK came into his life. He was up late texting and talking to him on the phone during all hours of the night if he wasn’t with him already in person. If TK was in his bed, there would be no sleep.

TK of course felt horrible that their late-night tumble in the sheets, and kept apologizing as Carlos ran around his room trying to get ready. He stopped and looked at TK who wore an expression full of guilt.

Carlos had just kissed his boyfriend on the lips and said, “I'm not sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for that.” Their time together was worth being late for. It was worth everything.

But he didn’t account for the morning construction work and traffic. See, Carlos was a punctual guy. He arrived early to his shifts...always. So hopefully his Chief would understand. He was ashamed at himself when he swore angrily at the small Jetta cutting right in front of him, without signaling, only to find it to be an elderly woman. Carlos spent the remainder of the driving doing deep breathing meditations.

Luckily by the time Carlos finally made it to work, he wasn’t in too much trouble. But the look of disappointment from the Chief in command did rub him the wrong way, spiking anxiety in his body. Unfortunately, the day after was a mess. Case-after-case—the crimes of Austin that day didn’t seem to end.

He sat at his desk when he made it back to the station after a very stressful call involving abuse. Carlos looked down at his phone as it vibrated. It was a text from TK:

I hope your day got a bit better. Can I see you later?

Seeing TK was the best part of his day, truly, but unfortunately today was just one of those days where you wanted to go to bed early, hoping for a new start the following day. He didn’t know if he had the energy, not tonight. He started forming a reply back:

Thanks, unfortunately it’s just been...a day. I think I better call it an early night tonight.

But his fingers hovered over the send button. He thought of TK and his smile; that warm embrace he was craving right about now. Being with the one you loved made everything better. That’s what he really needed right now. Erasing his previous text, he sent a new one:

Absolutely. I can’t wait. xo.

***

When Carlos arrived home, he knew TK would be there. His shift had finished before his. Carlos had given him a key a few months back—truthfully, he was finding the right time to ask his boyfriend if he would move in with him.

This was a big step for both of them, but Carlos felt ready. He hoped that TK felt the same. That feeling was only further validated when Carlos walked into the living room.

His dining room table had a red table cloth on it, candles, and two plates full of food. Carlos couldn’t help also admiring the cheeseboard TK had clearly spent time making. Romantic music was playing quietly in the background, and that was when TK walked out. He was dressed up beautifully so in a nice suit, a single red rose in his hand.

TK smiled at Carlos, that beautiful smile that seemed to melt away the bad day Carlos had experienced, “Well, hello there, beautiful.”

He walked over and Carlos pulled him in by his dark navy suit, “Mi Amor, you are the beautiful one.” Carlos looked at the table once more and smiled, “What is all this for?”

“You.”

Carlos leaned in and kissed him, “What’s the special occasion?”

TK kissed him back, soft lips caressing one another. He pulled back slowly and whispered, “Just because.” He knew that TK had known what kind of day he had had. They were linked with a connection that was so unique, it often took Carlos’ breath away. “I love you.”

TK kissed Carlos’ cheek and their foreheads came together as they closed their eyes, “And I love you.”

They swayed back-and-forth to the music for a bit in one another's arms. Finally, TK handed Carlos the beautiful rose, and he brought it up to his nose to smell how sweet the moment truly was.

“I’m not dressed up,” Carlos said with a wince, looking his love up-and-down once more.

“Baby, you always look so good,” TK replied with a wink, “One could only hope to look as handsome as you do.”

“And yet, you achieved that status, sweetheart.”

TK shook his head with a chuckle. He motioned towards the table, “Hungry?”

“Starving!” The seafood looked delicious, “You cooked all of this?”

“Of course,” TK smirked, “I do have a very good teacher who teaches me the ways of the kitchen.”

Carlos laughed as TK pulled the chair out for him, “I’m so glad I decided to show you.”

“Me too, babe. Me too.”

As they ate, they laughed and told stories. The negativity of the day was long gone and all that was left was this. This happy safe place that they had created together.

At that moment when he looked up at TK, as his boyfriend ate this delicious meal he had prepared, Carlos knew with certainty it was time. “Will you move in with me?”

TK froze with his fork hovering in the air. Slowly he lowered it down to his plate, “Really? You want that?”

Carlos nodded, “More than anything. Besides you stay here all the time anyway, it seems right.”

“Why now?”

Leaning across the table to gently grab TK’s hand, he thought of this evening and all the other ones they would have together. Carlos had never met someone as thoughtful as TK; he was so damn lucky to have this man in his life, and that was why.

Kissing TK’s hand, Carlos replied with all the love in his heart, “Just because.”

The smile and the nod from TK was the agreement Carlos had hoped for.

It was a day worth remembering after all.

[harvestleaves]

Out of Breath-Chapter 2

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,730

A/N: You can also read this on Ao3 here

“Dad, are you really making me stay home today?  I’m fine.  The doctor at the ER even said it was probably a one-off attack due to stress,” TK pouted at his father as he poured himself a cup of coffee, upset that his dad was being, what he considered to be, overprotective.

“TK, you haven’t had an attack that bad in years, clearly something is going to to make it act up.  I’m not going to risk you having another attack.  I don’t have to be in until this afternoon. I figure we can finish unpacking, maybe watch a movie this morning and I can see if someone can come to check on you while I’m on shift,” Owen suggested with a stern look to remind TK that he wasn’t going to budge on his stance.

Rolling his eyes, TK dropped his head back with a dramatic sigh of ‘fine’, though it sounded whinier than he meant for it to be.  When he finally glanced back at his dad, he glared at the amused smirk the older man had on his face, clearly too excited for TK to be miserable all day.

“Your attack just made me realize how much extra stress you’re probably under and I just want to make sure you’re not overexerting yourself.  I was terrified when I saw you in the locker room.   Watching your kid in pain isn’t easy. But not being able to do a single thing about it?  That’s even worse.  It was like reliving your first attack all over again.  All I wanted to do was hug you and tell you everything was going to be okay, even though I wasn’t completely sure it would be.”

TK’s eye’s widened in surprise at his father's admission and he immediately felt bad for acting a bit like a grumpy toddler at being forced to stay home.

“Dad, I’m sorry.  I should have woken you up, but the last thing I wanted to do was worry you, especially since you were already so worried about me with my OD and all.  I guess I just didn’t think about how you’d feel if the attack got worse.  I can usually handle them on my own, I truly thought my inhaler was in my bag.”

“I know kiddo, but you should know by now that I’m never going to stop worrying about you.  All these gray hairs are from you ya know,” Owen teased as he pulled TK into a gentle side hug before ruffling his son's hair with a grin.  “What do you say we skip unpacking until this afternoon and go watch a movie on the couch.  Your choice.”

TK laughed softly at the offer and nodded, lifting his mug up to take a drink of the still-warm coffee as he leaned into the hug, immediately relaxing at the comforting embrace.  He was pretty sure that no matter how old he got, a hug from his dad would always make him feel safe.  “Can we watch a Marvel movie?” he asked hopefully, half just wanting an excuse to ogle attractive superheroes.

“Sure bud.  You go pick a movie, I’ll be right there,” Owen smiled as he finished his coffee before making his way to the living room.  He let out a small aww however when he saw TK on the couch, the throw that was usually just for decoration tossed over him as he laid curled up on his side, one arm tucked under his head.

Turning to look at his dad, TK blushed at the look he was getting and immediately moved to sit up.

“No, lay back down, you’re okay,” Owen laughed softly as he walked towards the couch and sat on the side near where TK had his head on the couch.  “What movie did you pick?”

“Avengers Endgame,” TK smiled as he looked up at his dad, stifling a small yawn despite the coffee he’d ingested before moving his head to where it could be propped up on his dad’s leg.  It was a familiar rhythm, Owen’s hand immediately coming to rest on TK’s head as he ran his fingers through his son’s hair, a motion he knew would eventually coax the younger man back to sleep.  It was a trick he’d used often whenever TK was sick as a kid and too stubborn to go to sleep.

“D-dad, ‘m not tired,” TK half-whined through another yawn, his eyelids slowly drifting shut despite his best efforts as he fell asleep before the opening credits were even finished, nuzzling into the blanket he was under.

----

When TK next opened his eyes, he realized that his head was now resting atop a throw pillow and the distinct smell of his dad’s chili was in the air. Rubbing at his sleep-filled eyes, TK sat up before looking around the living room, his hair sticking up in multiple spots as he finally spotted the clock letting him know that it was almost one in the afternoon, which explained why his dad was making lunch.

Making his way towards the kitchen, TK raised an eyebrow curiously when he heard hushed voices in the room and slyly peered in to see Carlos at the kitchen island with his dad, talking about how spicy the food in Texas usually was and joking about how Owen’s chili needed more heat.

Carlos turned his head to the doorway when he heard movement and smiled brightly at TK, his heart melting at how sleepy TK still looked with his baggy hoodie and rumpled up hair.

“Hey there sleepyhead, feeling better?” Owen asked as he turned to TK as well, smiling at how refreshed he looked now that he’d managed to rest a bit.

“Um, yeah, I feel a lot less tired,” TK admitted with a blush as he ran a hand through his hair nervously before he smiled shyly at Carlos.  “What are you doing here?  I thought you worked today?”

“I just got off my shift, it was a short one.  Plus, your dad called me to stay with you to make sure you don’t try and sneak off to the firehouse,” Carlos teased with a smile as he stood up and walked over to TK to pull him into a soft hug.  “Seriously though, how are you feeling today?”

TK immediately snuggled into the hug from Carlos, pressing his cheek against the taller man's shoulder as he took a deep breath of the other's cologne.  “I’m feeling better, I promise.  You smell really good by the way.”  TK nuzzled against Carlos for another few minutes before pulling away with another blush when his dad cleared his throat.  “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.  I’m gonna head out for work.  The chili is ready whenever you two get hungry.  So relax, and don’t do anything strenuous, sex included,” Owen stated with a pointed look to TK when his son’s eyes widened in embarrassment before he laughed and grabbed his keys.

TK watched his dad leave through the front door before he turned to Carlos with wide eyes.  “I am so sorry about what he said!  I definitely want to have sex again, don’t get me wrong, but definitely not when you are being so incredibly sweet and offering to take time out of your day to watch over me,” he found himself rambling without taking a breath, which was, in retrospect, not the best idea when he found himself wheezing a little as Carlos started to rub his shoulders gently.

“Hey, take a breath Tiger.  It’s okay, we can have sex later on, I just want you to relax.  The last thing I want is for you to have another attack,” Carlos soothed as he watched TK take a shaky breath, guiding him in a breathing exercise before TK coughed softly.  “Better?  Do you need your inhaler?”

“N-no, I’m okay.  I promise,” TK smiled reassuringly as he caught his breath, though the wheeze still worried Carlos and he bit his lip before pressing a kiss to TKs forehead.

“If you’re sure.  Do you want some food before we relax?”

“Sure, food sounds great.  I’ll be right back, bowls are above the sink to the right,” TK smiled as he pressed a kiss to Carlos’ cheek before he snuck off to his room to use his inhaler, the medication helping immediately as he slid the object into his pocket, figuring it was probably a good idea to keep it close by before he made his way back into the kitchen, where Carlos had two bowls of the chili set up with some crackers on the counter.

“Let’s eat and then just cuddle for a bit.”

TK nodded in agreement as he took his own bowl of food, letting out a small moan at the first bite of food before he smiled blissfully, Carlos blushing at the practically obscene noise the other made before he turned his attention to his own food.

Once their food was finished, TK took his and Carlos’ bowls, rinsing them and placing them into the dishwasher before he turned to the other man.

“Do you want to just go to my room and lay down for a bit?  You just got off a shift, so a nap probably sounds good, huh?” TK offered with a smile as he slid his hands into his pockets, fiddling with his inhaler nervously as Carlos nodded in agreement.

“A nap sounds amazing.  Only if I get to be the big spoon though,” Carlos grinned as he pressed a kiss to TK’s lips, letting the other lead him back to his room before he stretched out on the bed and patted the spot next to him for TK.  When the smaller male stretched out next to him, Carlos raised an eyebrow at the feeling of rough plastic pressing against his thigh and reached into TK’s pocket to take out his inhaler before he placed it on the side table within arms reach, gently taking TK’s hand when the other reached out for it nervously.

“I’ll keep an eye on your breathing.  It’s okay to rely on other people babe.  I can even start carrying a spare if it’ll make you feel more at ease.  I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise,” Carlos whispered softly as he pressed a kiss to TK’s forehead, smiling as the other practically melted against his chest, eyelids drifting shut.

[221bsunsettowers]

Carlos/TK: You Had a Speech, You’re Speechless

Summary: It was just supposed to be a quick trip to the bank. Carlos should have been right back. Now all TK can do is wait to hear his husband's voice again.

Thanks to @brilliantbanshee for the prompt/couple choice, and @prodigalleverage @meloingly @magnusluvsalec and @itswoxo for helping me choose which direction to go in, and for being so excited to read this story!

Written for Bad Things Happen Bingo

Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star

Pairing: TK/Carlos

Prompt: Communication Suddenly Cut Off

(No major character death, though there is major character wounding. Blood and a gunshot wound are mentioned.)

(can also be read on Ao3)

"Mmm, baby, you were right, that was exactly what I needed," TK sighs happily, laying his fork down on his now empty plate.

"I thought you might be hungry after that long shift," Carlos smiles, and TK leans across the table to kiss his husband, smirking as he whispers in Carlos' ear,

"Now I'm ready for some dessert," TK smirks as a flush quickly spreads up Carlos' cheeks,

"Hold that thought, please," Carlos begs, nipping at TK's bottom lip, chuckling at the moan his action elicts. Standing up, Carlos reaches into his wallet, extracting a check with a smile and a sigh. "My abuela still insists on doing everything on paper, so I got a check for Christmas." Bending down to kiss TK again, he gestures at the bank across the street. "I need to deposit it so I can tell her it's safe and sound in the bank."

"You are too adorable to be real," TK grins, shaking his head, planting a kiss on Carlos' cheek. "I'm going to enjoy the last few sips of this horchata, and then when you get back here, we can head on home."

"What, you don't want to come wait in line with me?" Carlos teases.

"If I come with you, I won't be able to keep my hands off you, so unless you want to scandalize the local bank tellers..." TK trails off with a mischevious grin, laughing as Carlos immediately blushes again.

"If I wasn't an officer of the law, I'd be cutting right to the front of the line, sweetheart." Carlos leans down for one more kiss, before heading across the street and up the bank's front steps.

TK can't stop smiling as he leans back in his chair, taking a sip of the iced horchata in front of him. He finds himself just watching the bank entrance, waiting for Carlos to emerge, imagining the epic eye roll and immense amount of teasing he would get from Marjan if she could see him now.

The waitress comes over to pour him a refill, and TK glances away from the bank for what he will swear was less than a minute. By the time he looks back, the door is swinging shut behind a group of men.

And then his phone rings.

Carlos' picture flashes on the screen, a photo from their wedding day, a candid Michelle had caught of Carlos' just gazing over at TK, eyes soft and smile stretching across his face. TK grins, immediately answering, but before he can get a fond word out he hears something that almost makes him drop his phone. The sound is muffled, smothered by wherever Carlos must have quickly hidden his phone, but it is clear enough that TK forgets how to breathe.

"This is a robbery, people, so cooperate or someone's getting hurt!" a man's voice yells. "I will shoot you if I have to!"

Later, when an officer is taking TK's statement, TK will find he can't remember this part of the story. He will suppose he must have gone on autopilot as he got the attention of the waitress and told her what to say. The waitress will still remember the instructions exactly, the fear and excitement of the moment having kept them fresh in her brain. She was told to call 9-1-1, say there was a robbery at the bank, tell them there were hostages so not to use their sirens, make sure to tell them Officer Carlos Strand-Reyes is one of the hostages, that he has opened a direct line from inside the bank to his husband's cell phone.

What TK will remember is the absolute terror that came from being able to hear everything happening inside, but not being able to do anything. He couldn't offer Carlos any comfort, couldn't tell him he loved him, had to keep himself muted and listening to the constant stream of terrified shouts and hostile yelling, and no word from Carlos. He knew Carlos was staying quiet so the robbers wouldn't see the phone, so they wouldn't figure out he was a cop (and TK will be forever grateful it was Carlos' day off and he didn't have his uniform or badge on him), so he could take advantage of a moment and try to stop what was happening (and damn Carlos' beautiful, kind, giving heart, TK thought, a thought that will rack him with guilt later, but one he will always find at the forefront of his mind whenever Carlos is saving someone else at the risk of his own safety-and yes, TK recognizes the irony given his professional choice).

The second police officers begin their sprint up the street, TK is running towards them, heading right for the highest ranking one there. In the three years he and Carlos' have been together, the year and a half they have been married, TK has gotten to know everyone at the station, just like Carlos' knows every member of TK's team. Thanks to the waitress passing on the message to 9-1-1, all TK has to do is hold out his phone and they know they have their best shot at figuring out the safest way to end this situation.

Having to let his phone go feels like severing his lifeline to his husband, but TK knows it's his best weapon against those who could actually take Carlos away from him forever.

All he can do now is wait, and he's never felt more helpless in his life. He runs his fingers over his wedding band, normally a soothing motion to ground him, bring him back, but today all it does is remind him that his husband is somewhere he can't follow.

A hand on his shoulder, and TK whirls around, collapsing into his father's arms. "Hey, ssh, it's all going to be okay, son," Owen murmurs into TK's ear, rubbing circles on his back as TK shakes in his embrace. TK buries his face in Owen's shoulder, trying to shut the world out for even a second, but it doesn't work. Carlos is in trouble, Carlos is in danger, Carlos is in a room full of people who don't know how beautiful and perfect and important he is, he could be collateral to them, a casualty along the way, and TK is spiraling as he feels the tightness of a panic attack clutch at his chest.

His father guides him to the curb, gently pushes his head down between his knees, and reminds him to breathe, count his breath, match his breath, there you go, and TK can hear Carlos' voice echoing the words with Owen, and TK breathes. It's enough to keep surviving, but it's not truly living again until he has Carlos back in his arms.

Suddenly there is yelling, everyone is in motion, moving towards the bank doors, and then there is a gunshot.

One single gunshot.

And somehow TK knows. Call it soulmates, call it a fated bond, call it whatever you like, TK is screaming before the cops rush up the steps, he is wailing before the bank doors open, he is sobbing before hostages are hurried outside and the robbers are shoved to the floor.

Carlos turns, slowly, as TK is sprinting towards him.

Carlos turns, meets TK's eyes, and collapses onto his knees. He looks down in numb shock at his left hand, pressed against the bullet hole in his stomach, as blood pours from between his fingers.

And then Carlos' body collapses completely, until he is face first on the cold tile floor, and TK can't even produce words, just a tragedy of heart shattering sounds as he desperately lunges up the stairs and drops to his knees next to his husband. TK's fingers find Carlos' pulse before the paramedics can even reach out a hand, and he sags in terrified relief, because Carlos is alive this second, but what about the next, and that next second is why TK allows himself to be moved to the side as the paramedics get to work. He knows he cannot assist on this one, he's barely breathing himself, just out of sight of the love of his life.

Stumbling into the back of the ambulance, TK grabs Carlos' hand, the actions of the paramedics a blur around them. "Stay with me, baby," TK begs, fingers back on Carlos' too slow pulse. "I love you so much, please don't leave me, Carlos, you can't, please baby, stay with me."

Around him TK hears a whirl of sounds, but Carlos is silent.

*** And this is how it has been since, everything around TK a whirl, and the voice he needs the most locked behind an operating room door where TK can not follow.

Owen made TK sit and get a few sips of water in him. Members of the 126 had come in and out as they were able, making sure at least one of them was there at all times. TK had called Carlos' family, who had been out on a day trip and immediately turned back around (TK was just so glad they had heard what had happened from him and not from a television set). Clean clothes and coffee had appeared, and TK had been coaxed into taking two minutes to change his clothes and scrub Carlos' blood from his hands (an action that had left him sobbing in Judd's arms by the bathroom sink).

Owen has just run to the bathroom himself when TK is approached by a group of people, maybe ten or so in all. "Hi, we're so sorry to bother you," a young woman says, and TK looks up at her, exhaustion and confusion clearly showing on his face. "The nurse said you're the family of the man from the bank who saved us."

"I wanted to say thank you!" pipes up a small voice in the middle of the group, and TK cranes his neck to see a little boy holding the hands of two men. "My Daddy and Papa said that he made sure they made it home okay." The little boy reaches up to one of the men, who hands him a stuffed animal tiger, which the boy then hands to TK. "Can you give this to him when he wakes up?"

TK cradles the tiger in his hands, and chuckles wetly, nodding. "My husband actually calls me Tiger," TK says softly, and finds within himself a smile to give the boy. "He will love this."

"Have you heard anything?" another member of the group asks, and just then a doctor comes out, and TK makes a beeline towards him.

"Family of Carlos' Strand-Reyes?" the doctor inquires, and TK puts a hand up.

"I'm his husband," TK says, voice shaking, running a hand over his tear-streaked face. "Is he okay?"

"He's going to be fine," the doctor says with a smile, and TK feels his body sag in such relief, he would have hit the floor if his father hadn't suddenly appeared behind him to keep him standing.  "The bullet was lodged inside, but it was as easy a removal as one could hope for, and no internal organs were damaged. Your husband is extremely lucky, Mr. Strand-Reyes."

"We both are," TK exhales, and he knows he's crying again. He can hear the group around him clapping and cheering. "Can I see him?"

"Of course, he's being moved to his room now," the doctor assures him, and TK clutches the stuffed tiger to his chest, practically nipping at the doctor's heels as they walk towards Carlos' room.

Carlos is so still on the hospital bed, but he is breathing without assistance. TK can hear the beautifully familar sound of the in and out of his husband's breath, finally he can hear Carlos, finally he can hear his husband again. Collapsing into the chair next to the bed, TK tucks the stuffed tiger in the crook of Carlos' arm, before carefully resting his head on Carlos' chest, encircling his husband's wrist with his fingers. The steady beat of Carlos's heart, the rise and fall of his chest, the rhythm of his pulse, lulls TK finally into a semblance of sleep.

"Two tigers, huh? How'd I get so lucky?"

TK whips his head up, blinks his eyes, and then there is Carlos', eyes open, talking. TK can hear his voice, he can hear his husband's voice, a little weaker than usual, but still the most beautiful sound he has ever heard.

"Carlos," TK chokes out, and he is immediately climbing onto the bed, avoiding wires and wounds, and wrapping Carlos' in his shaking arms, feeling Carlos' arms come up to hold him close.

"Sweetheart," Carlos breathes out, his voice ruffling his husband's hair, and TK clutches at him tighter, before picking his head up and kissing Carlos', deep and slow, pulling back just enough to rest their foreheads together and meet Carlos' eyes.

"I love you, so much," TK whispers against Carlos' skin, pressing kisses along his jaw, another on his lips. "You're a hero, you know. That's where that tiger came from. You saved a whole lot of people, including the dads of the little boy who brought it for you."

"I'm sorry," Carlos starts, and TK kisses him again, this time stopping the words on purpose.

"Do not apologize, baby," TK assures him, running his hand down his cheek. "You have the most amazing heart, the most beautiful soul. You've always been my hero. I wouldn't have expected anything else from you."

Carlos smiles, and TK can see he's fighting to stay awake, the flow through the IV bringing him back under for more healing. TK brushes a kiss across his husband's forehead, before snuggling in under Carlos' arm, bringing his head back to Carlos' chest. "Get some sleep, hero," TK says, lacing their fingers together. "I'll be right here."

"I love you so much too," Carlos murmurs, and TK hears every word.

@bikingthroughhawkins​ @officereyes​ @i-had-bucky​ @highqualitykhakis​ @meloingly​

You can still request concussion, shot with an arrow, confrontation, ambulance ride, dehydration, magical curse, or stabbing for TK/Carlos, Buck/Eddie, Geralt/Jaskier, or Magnus/Alec :)

[howtosingit]

Fic: Sometimes Things Just Fall Apart 

TK comes home to a dark, silent house, no dog to greet him at the door, and a husband laying in bed, still dressed in his work uniform; it’s anything but normal.

*

Written for @tarlosweek2020 - Day 2: “It’s okay to cry” + Comfort

2.1K | Also on AO3.

-----

The house feels cold and empty when TK gets home from work.

It’s unsettlingly, considering the Strand-Reyes household is pretty much always bright and bursting with energy. Usually when he walks through the door, he’s met with the furry hurricane of a golden retriever, who tries to tackle him with kisses before he even slips out of his shoes. When Carlos beats him home, TK usually finds him in the kitchen, music playing and smells permeating the space as his husband prepares dinner for the two of them. He always slips in next to Carlos to claim his customary “thank you for being safe at work and coming home to me” kisses - one pressed to his forehead and one to his lips - before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and sitting at the island so that they can fill each other in on their workdays. 

None of that greets TK when he walks through the door today. There isn’t a single light on, and no Max to greet him with slobbery kisses. He knows Carlos is home, having pulled alongside the Camaro in the garage. He calls out as he slips off his shoes, but no one answers. A chill runs through TK when he spots Max’s leash hanging by the door, a feeling of dread coursing through him as he takes in the stark, uninviting kitchen to his left, and the equally uninhabited living room to his right. 

TK cuts through the house, heading for the stairs, his heart beating heavier with each step as he searches for his husband. His mind is spinning with possible explanations, wondering what might have happened at work for Carlos to bring it home with him. TK knows that Carlos does everything he can to not let his job seep into their home, a discipline that TK has also worked to strengthen in himself. It doesn’t mean that they don’t talk about the hard days, but usually when they happen, Carlos will text him when he’s off work and they’ll spend the evening out, either at a park or seeing a movie or getting dinner. Anything to purge the pain of their work before they go to bed for the night. It’s not a perfect system, but they’ve made it work for them, and the fact that Carlos has broken the expected routine shakes TK to his core.

His fear increases when he steps onto the second-floor landing and hears no sounds from the bathroom. He wondered if Carlos may have been in the shower and not heard him when he called, but that idea dies in the continued silence. He continues forward to their bedroom, pushing against the ajar door to peer inside. His breath steals from his chest at what he finds. 

Laying on the bed, back-to-back, are his two guys. Max looks up at him from his side of the bed, a concerned look on his face. The fact that he makes no move to greet him tells TK all that he needs to know. His husband lays on the far side of the bed, his back to the door, and TK notices that he’s still fully-dressed in his uniform, shoes and duty belt included. It’s such a jarring sight that TK freezes before he can even take a step into the room. 

“Carlos?” he says softly, his voice carrying across the stiff silence in the room like a siren scream. There’s no movement from his husband, and TK wonders if he might be asleep. Max turns his head to nudge against the back of Carlos’s neck, a soft whine escaping him; TK feels his heart break.

He moves quietly, circling around the foot of the bed to stand in front of Carlos. He’s shocked to find his eyes open, the brown irises that are usually filled with love and warmth unnervingly blank as they stare straight ahead at the far corner of the room. His husband makes no indication that he’s even noticed him. 

TK slowly sinks to his knees, bringing them face-to-face. Carlos continues to stare through him, his expression an unchanging mask. “Hey, you,” TK whispers, a forced smile forming on his face as he tries to get any sort of reaction out of his husband. It’s not until he brings a hand up to delicately grip Carlos’s wrist that his husband finally notices his presence.

It’s sudden, a visible shiver running down his entire body as his eyes blink warily, his pupils dilating as they shift to focus on TK. The moment their eyes meet, TK watches as Carlos’s eyebrows furrow in distress, the crease between them intensifying dramatically. He feels his heart split open in his chest, Carlos’s obvious pain stabbing him like a dozen knives. They’ve been that way since they first started dating, so completely linked that their emotions sometimes blend together into something they both carry for one another.

TK leans forward, pressing their foreheads together. “I’m right here, okay?” he murmurs, shifting to touch his lips to Carlos’s cheek. He feels his husband shake beneath him as an uneven sigh escapes his lips. “Can we take off your uniform? You can’t be comfortable, babe.”

There’s a pause as TK stays close, waiting for Carlos to respond. When he does, with a silent nod, TK presses another kiss to his skin before pulling back to stand up.

It’s a slow process, but he doesn’t care. He gets Carlos into a sitting position, and item-by-item he undresses his husband, starting with his belt and shoes. He notices that Carlos’s gun is missing and he’s relieved to know that, despite whatever happened today, his husband wasn’t out of it enough to not put his firearm in the safe. As each article of clothing is removed, TK presses a soft kiss to Carlos’s exposed skin. 

His husband, usually so large and physically imposing but now so small and reserved, stares up at him as he completes his task. Finally, Carlos is left only in his boxer briefs and undershirt, and TK quickly undresses down to the same before taking his husband’s hand and pulling him to lay back down on the bed, this time the two of them laying face-to-face. He notices that Max has moved to his own bed in the corner, happy to let TK take over as caregiver now that he’s home.

“Thank you,” Carlos breathes out, his first words striking hard after such a heavy absence. They’re close enough that TK can feel his breath on his face, and he takes a moment to rub their noses together, bringing a hand up to run his fingers along Carlos’s jaw. 

“Of course,” TK responds just as quietly, a sad smile pulling at his lips. “Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

TK is relieved when Carlos immediately nods, though he says nothing at first. 

“I’m here when you’re ready, okay? Take your time,” he confirms, scooting closer to press their bodies fully together. He stares into Carlos’s eyes, watching as his usually warm brown irises swim with tears that refuse to fall. He’s terrified, having no idea what could’ve happened for Carlos to react like this, his mind supplying the absolute worst-case scenarios. Then, suddenly, as if he’s dragging the words through his throat from his core, Carlos stutters out just two words.

“Maureen called.”

TK’s brain stops short, every explanation that his brain had been expecting vanishing into thin air at Carlos’s response. He feels like he’s been shut inside of a walk-in freezer, every inch of his body erupting in one long, chilled-to-the-bone shiver. Through the roaring in his ears, he hears himself let out a stuttering gasp. He can feel a prickle at the corner of his eyes as his mind pieces together Carlos’s behavior with news from Maureen, and he closes them before a tear can fall, trying to take a deep breath to calm down.

They’ve been struggling through the process of adopting a child for almost a year and a half, cycling through stages of hope and grief almost daily. They were warned, multiple times, that adoption was a complicated and long journey towards starting a family, especially as gay men in Texas with high-risk jobs. Nothing could’ve prepared them for the pain of getting a little closer each time before it all came crashing down with a single call from Maureen, their adoption counselor. 

“It’s okay to cry, Ty,” his husband says, a hand coming up to caress his cheek. TK, suddenly overwhelmed, feels his face crumble as a laugh-sob crawls up his throat.

“You stole my line,” he chokes out, opening his eyes again to find Carlos staring at him through his own tear-filled eyes. “Why didn’t you call me, sweetheart?”

“I missed her call,” Carlos explains, his voice thick with emotion, “and couldn’t reach her until I was on my way home. I didn’t want to ruin the end of your day, too.”

This is the third time they’ve actively pursued an adoption opportunity; the previous two times, they did everything they could to remain realistic, reaching a point where they wouldn’t talk to anyone else about it. They’re not superstitious, exactly, it’s just that the more they talk about it, the more they plan and consider what life will be like with a child. They got even further this time, and maybe dared to hope too much. TK watches as Carlos continues to grieve for the lost children they’ll never have, and it breaks his heart every time. 

“It kills me to think of you dealing with this alone,” TK worriedly admits, pulling Carlos closer. His husband shifts to press his face in TK’s neck, his favorite place to be, and TK grips him tighter as he feels Carlos shake with new sobs. 

“I really thought it was going to happen this time,” he cries softly, TK feeling his tears finally fall onto his neck. He squeezes his own eyes shut, his own tears falling as he presses his face into Carlos’s dark curls.

“Me too, baby. Me too.”

“What if it never does?” Carlos questions after a moment, and TK can tell by the tone of his voice that he’s voicing his greatest fear out-loud for the first time. 

“Hey,” TK hedges, pulling back to take his husband’s face in both hands. He stares into those deep brown eyes and knows that he would give anything to bring back their unmatched warmth. “You, Carlos Strand-Reyes, are going to be a dad, okay? Your heart is so big, your love is so strong, and I know that you’re meant to share it with someone who will admire you as much as I do. Someone that you and I will raise and love and adore more than anyone else on this earth. That’s our story, Carlos, that’s what we decided, and just because we haven’t gotten to that chapter, it doesn’t mean we’re going to rewrite it, okay? It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen, I know it will.”

Carlos just stares at him when he goes quiet, his bottom lip quivering as his eyes glisten with fresh tears. 

“I love you, Ty,” he gasps, pressing in to claim TK’s lips with his own. It’s a hard, desperate kiss, full of the lingering grief and sudden emptiness that the day has brought, but like every kiss they share, it’s also filled with overwhelming love and comfort, the kind that only they can provide to one another.

When they break apart, Carlos presses their foreheads together. “You’re going to be the best dad in the world, you know that?” he whispers, nudging their noses together.

“I’m not so sure,” TK laughs gently, pressing a quick kiss to his husband’s lips, salty from their tears. “You’ll probably have me beat.”

“I’m serious, Ty,” Carlos presses further, his tone making that clear. “The way you take care of all of us, the way you care for me… I can’t wait to see you with our child. It’s going to be breathtaking.”

“How about a tie then?” TK relents, a smile growing on his lips. “You and me, Best Dads in the World.”

“That’ll be one lucky kid,” Carlos laughs, wrapping his arms around TK’s waist. 

TK feels his heart clench in his chest as he watches his husband’s eyes crinkle, their familiar warmth gradually reappearing. 

“You have no idea,” TK agrees, tightening his grip on Carlos, their closeness like a salve for their mutually broken hearts.

In each other’s arms, they begin to heal.  

[howtosingit]

Fic: An Open Heart is an Open Wound to You

Days after the solar storm, Carlos and TK spend another night under the stars.

* 

Basically, a re-do of the 1x02 disaster dinner, taking place just after 1x10.

4.1K | Also on AO3

——————

Carlos can’t help but to let out a deep sigh as soon as he steps foot into his apartment. There’s a stillness to the space, a quiet that comforts him. It’s been so hard for him to find that kind of peace in the past two weeks; between the shooting, the lack of sleep from the fallout of the shooting, the solar storm, and the additional work following the solar storm, he feels like he hasn’t had a moment alone to catch his breath. It’s making him feel off-balance, like he hasn’t been able to fully adjust to everything going on around him.

So, he takes a shower, and it helps. He can feel waves of tension flowing off him as he stands under the hot water. He breathes deeply, taking in the heat, cleansing his lungs. He massages his eyelids, his neck and shoulders, his arms, driving away the tightness that he’s felt building. It’s relaxing, and he stays under the shower head much longer than he planned to, swaying in and out of full consciousness. 

What feels like an hour later, he returns to his kitchen, opening the fridge to see what he can pull together to eat. He’s much calmer than before, but there’s still something off about his apartment. He looks around the room, trying to spot what might be making him feel on-edge, but nothing looks out of place. He can’t pinpoint what it is, but he feels like something’s missing. 

He’s staring off into space, brows furrowed in thought, when his phone buzzes on the counter next to him. The name on the screen brings a sudden smile to his face, one that drives his current concerns to the back of his mind.

Wanna come over?

His eyebrows raise slightly in surprise; in the many months that he has known TK, the man has never invited him over to his place. Sure, their moment on top of his Camaro only two nights ago seemed to imply that they might be moving in a different direction, but still... This feels big, in a way, and Carlos is ashamed to admit it, but he didn’t think TK would be taking big swings this soon. 

His delay in responding becomes obvious when his phone buzzes again in his hand.

I miss you.

His eyebrows raise even higher, this time accompanied by a soft smile. It’s not that TK has been constantly emotionally distant, but he’s not usually this forthcoming either, especially through text. Carlos huffs out a laugh, thinking about how it’s only been a couple of days since they had some alone time, but how much he has also missed his… whatever they are now. And since Carlos has never really been one to hide his true feelings, he doesn’t hesitate to tell TK that.

I’ve missed you too. Be there in 20 minutes, that okay? 

20 mins is perfect! No speeding, Officer Reyes ;)

Fondly, Carlos rolls his eyes, dropping his phone on the counter and moving towards his bedroom. If he’s going to see TK, he’s going to need to wear something other than his faded sweatpants. 

--------

Eighteen minutes later, he’s pulling up outside the Strand house, tapping his fingers nervously on the steering wheel as he comes to a stop. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling anxious; he’s known TK for months now, and he’s seen a lot of different sides of the man that he’s come to care for deeply. For some reason, this invitation feels like a turning point for them, and the pressure of what that could mean causes him to rub at his forehead, trying to lessen the stress he feels building there. He just really wants this to work out, probably more than he’s ever wanted anything, if he’s being honest.

Shaking himself, he gets out of the car and moves up the front path towards the house, noting the absence of Captain Strand’s truck in the drive. With a deep breath, he raises his hand to the door and gently knocks. 

It must be only seconds later when the door opens, almost as if TK was standing there in wait. Their eyes immediately link, a gentle softness that pulls a breath from Carlos. He just saw TK earlier this week, but that doesn’t stop Carlos from feeling like he’s seeing him for the very first time; it happens more often than he will probably ever admit. 

“Hi,” TK says gently, cutting through the silence. Carlos feels his smile widen slightly in response. He takes a chance and steps through the doorway, sliding his arms underneath TK’s to wrap him in a hug, mindful of his shoulder. TK tenses in surprise before huffing out a laugh, wrapping his own arms around Carlos’s shoulders.

“Hi,” Carlos replies, pressing his face into TK’s neck. He’s quickly discovered that it’s his favorite place to be.

“Hi,” TK breathes out, nuzzling Carlos behind the ear. He shivers in response, feeling a little ridiculous, but he kind of doesn’t ever want this moment to end. Before he can say anything further, his stomach lets out a small groan and he feels TK begin to shake with laughter as he pulls away slightly, giving him an amused look. “Either you're hungry, or I’m awakening some very strange parts of your body.” 

Carlos rolls his eyes. “You awaken every part of my body, cariño” he says, knowing full-well how stupid it sounds as it comes out, but he also notices how TK’s eyes darken just a bit, so he can’t be too embarrassed. “I am a bit hungry, though,” he admits. “Work was a little crazy and I skipped lunch.”

TK grins, letting out a small noise of understanding. “I just may be able to help you with that,” he says, grabbing Carlos’s hand and turning to lead him further into the house. He follows, gripping tightly to TK’s hand as he looks around. The decor doesn’t surprise him — it’s very similar to the remodeled firehouse, and he recognizes Captain Strand’s commitment to his personal style. It makes Carlos smile, happy to see a little further into TK’s world. 

TK leads him to the back of the house and through the sliding patio door into the backyard, where he stops abruptly, Carlos jerking quickly to the side to avoid running into him. He looks out at the small, fenced-in area, and can’t help the sharp breath that steals into his chest.

The yard features a picnic table, currently ladened with a full dining setup. He can see multiple candles at both ends, dishes of food next to those, and two plates at the center. Near the middle, he sees two champagne flutes and an ice bucket with two bottles sweating in the mild Texas heat. Carlos’s gaze shifts upward, above the table, eyeing the string lights that criss-cross over the table, twinkling softly. He grips TK’s hand tightly, intertwining their fingers as he feels himself vibrate with overwhelming emotion. TK never fails to surprise him, and it knocks him back every time.

He thinks the other man understands, as TK rises up to press a soft kiss to his cheek before dragging them closer to the table. Carlos allows TK to drop his hand as he reaches for one of the bottles and pours two glasses of sparkling golden liquid for them. He’s confused as he silently watches, taking his glass with a small shake of his head, TK clinking them together and raising his eyebrow to indicate that Carlos should take a drink.

The minute the liquid hits his tongue, Carlos recognizes the definite lack of alcohol. “It’s grape juice,” TK confirms, a small blush on his face as he takes a sip. “I know it’s kind of childish, I just wanted to recreate the—”

Carlos cuts him off with a kiss, smiling as TK lets out a small gasp, causing Carlos to push closer, parting his lips. TK does the same and as their tongues brush against one another, Carlos can faintly taste the juice, but mostly he just tastes TK. It’s kind of his favorite taste in the world.

They get lost in each other for a moment, Carlos reaching up to grip the back of TK’s head when he senses TK’s hand on his waist. He feels like he could spend the rest of his life kissing TK and never regret a single second of it, but at some point they both need air. “I really like grape juice,” Carlos says when their lips part, pressing forward to rest his forehead against TK’s. He watches as TK’s lips raise into a soft smile.

“I hope it goes well with dinner, which I have to be honest with you, I did not make” TK says, pulling back to gesture down at the table. Carlos follows his lead, moving to sit as TK stands across from him, grabbing his plate to begin serving the food. Carlos recognizes the baked red snapper, and his heart immediately swells in his chest. “First big thing to know about me: I burn water. You do not want me to cook for you.”

Carlos lets out a sound of disagreement, staring up at TK as he moves along the table filling the plate with salad and bread and asparagus. “I’d be happy to give you some lessons,” he says. “I love to cook.”

“I remember,” TK says, a slight grimace on his face. He doesn’t let it linger though. “You really think you could teach me a thing or two? People have tried before.”

“I think we could at least get you past the ‘burning water’ phase,” Carlos jokes as his plate is placed in front of him. “This all looks incredible, TK. All of it,” he says, gesturing to the entire set-up. 

TK blushes down at his plate before reaching for his glass, raising it to hover between them. “To surviving a solar storm,” he toasts, and Carlos responds, taking another sip. “Speaking of, how’s work? You said today was crazy?”

Carlos nods, diving into his day as they begin to eat. It’s easy, comfortable conversation, with TK responding with his own insight into what’s going on at the firehouse. He may not be back at work, but his team texts him constantly in their group chat, and he’s stopped by to hang out with Buttercup a couple of times. When TK speaks, Carlos can’t help but stare openly, watching as his bright green eyes reflect the twinkling lights above them. The thought of TK is usually enough to make his brain short-circuit, but seeing him here, so relaxed and happy as he shares a story about Marjan and Mateo and a prank gone wrong, Carlos can’t help but to admire his radiance. He’s unlike anyone that Carlos has ever seen. 

“This was delicious, TK, thank you,” he says, tossing a napkin onto his now-empty plate. “It means a lot that you did all of this for me.”

TK, who at this point is completely relaxed, stares across the table at him, tapping his fingers along the wood grain. For a minute, they just sit in silence, staring at one another, happy to be sharing time and space. Carlos watches as TK rises and moves around the table, leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips. He grabs his hand and moves away, pulling Carlos up from the table. “Come sit with me.”

Carlos happily follows TK over to a garden bench off to the side that he had missed when he first entered the yard. They sit side-by-side, TK immediately folding himself into his side as Carlos puts an arm around his shoulder, careful of his healing injury. TK grips the hand in his lap, caressing his fingers, almost as if he’s distracting himself. Carlos waits with bated breath, unsure what he might be building to say.

“I used to dream about moments like this,” TK says into the silence. Carlos glances down at him, but TK is looking off towards the table and the twinkling lights, lost in thought. “My high school friends used to laugh at me all the time about my high aspirations for romance.

“I think I blame my parents. They may have gotten a divorce, but the minute I heard how they met, I knew soulmates were real. Something about the idea of a young firefighter and a stressed-out law student meeting because she forgot about her dinner in the oven while studying and nearly burned her building down, it just screamed everlasting love to me.”

Carlos huffs out a laugh, somewhat in response to the story but mostly in response to what TK is doing; he’s never openly shared so much personal information before. He can feel TK’s smile against his chest. 

“Even when they separated, I convinced myself that it wasn’t because they didn’t love each other, it was just because the world wasn’t built to support their love story. And then, years later, when I realized I was gay, I couldn’t help but wonder if the world was built to support mine.”

Carlos grips TK’s hand in his own, feeling the pain of his words. He remembers feeling similarly when he discovered the truth about himself. It’s a feeling that he knows will probably never go away completely.

“But my parents were completely supportive,” TK continues. “I never doubted their love for me, not about that. So, with all of that support surrounding me, I kept believing in love. In the fairytale of it all, the earth-shattering romance. Even when things got harder, I still believed in that dream.

“I dated a lot in college. I put myself out there, I charmed boys, I wooed them. I did everything I could to make it feel big, make it feel like that dream that I wanted. The problem is, you can’t just create a big love story out of nothing. I tried really hard to do that, too hard. Like, ‘dated a user and used with him because I thought it would bring us closer’ level of trying. Turns out, pills can help fill the gaps that you’re trying to fill with guys who don’t give a shit and dads who choose their work over you.”

Carlos can feel TK shaking, and he tightens his grip on him, learning down to press a kiss to his temple. TK turns his head just slightly, pressing his lips against Carlos’s shirt, near his rapidly beating heart. He knows it’s impossible to actually feel it against his skin, but Carlos can’t help but feel like TK has branded him. 

“My addiction got bad enough that my parents couldn’t ignore it anymore. I went to a rehab place upstate the summer after my graduation. When I came back, I enrolled in the academy. I’d always wanted to be a firefighter, and Dad was happy to have me close, to watch me. It worked for a few years. I fell in love with my job, with the high that comes with saving people. I stayed away from pills, I did the casual thing with guys. It wasn’t my old dream, but it felt okay. And then I met Alex.”

TK pauses, pulling away with a sigh to lean back against the bench, looking up at the night sky. Carlos adjusts himself to accommodate the sudden change, his nerves spiking at the movement, but also at the heavy way that TK speaks the name. 

“He was a nice guy,” TK says, still looking upwards. “Better than any of my college boyfriends, better than the casual hookups. He was a photographer, we met at a first responder fundraiser. He was nice to look at and we looked good together. I felt good with him. 

“My dad didn’t care for him. He thought Alex was too self-centered, too interested in who he was going to be and not at all interested in where he was or who he was with. I don’t really know if that’s true. Looking back, I can see that I fell into my try-too-hard behavior from before: I planned all of our dates, I introduced him to all of my friends, I bought him nonsense gifts just because, I said ‘I love you’ first. I was always the one putting my heart out there. I didn’t see all of that then, though. I thought he was my soulmate. I thought he was my dream, and I wanted to marry him.”

TK closes his eyes, heaving out a heavy sigh. Carlos itches to hold him again, but he doesn’t know where this all is going, and he wants to respect TK’s need for space. He scoots over just a bit, pressing their sides together again, but he doesn’t reach out, choosing instead to leave his palm lying flat against his thigh. It feels like forever, but finally, TK reaches out and takes his hand again, interlocking their fingers. 

“You know the rest,” he says with a sigh. “Nuclear breakup, at the dinner where I was going to propose. He had been seeing someone else for months. It’s so obvious to me now, he was always pulling away, filling his evenings with ‘work.’ There was this distance between us, and I didn’t see it. Or I didn’t want to see it. And then it all just collapsed around me, this fairytale idea of what our relationship was, and I couldn’t handle it. So I tried to fill the gaps again, and I went too far.” 

Carlos shutters out a small gasp at the reminder of TK’s overdose. No matter how many times he thinks about it, he can’t get past the idea that he was this close to never meeting the man sitting next to him. He was so close to never experiencing everything that TK makes him feel and want. TK turns, his eyes full of concern, and pulls their bodies together, caressing the back of Carlos’s neck as they both breathe deeply in each other’s arms. 

“You weren’t supposed to find me so soon, Carlos Reyes. When I got here, I wasn’t anything like myself. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I couldn’t feel anything, and I didn’t want to. I was so tired of trying. I was tired of losing myself to this idea of something that, clearly, I could never have. 

“And then you walked up to me in that bar and I… Carlos, men like you are not supposed to exist,” TK says with a laugh. Carlos rolls his eyes, opening his mouth to speak, but TK cuts him off before he can say anything. “Don’t argue with me on this, I’m right. I’ll ask every single person in Austin, and they’ll say the same thing. Even the straight guys.

“But there you were, and I may not have wanted to feel anything, but you didn’t give me a choice. You were otherworldly. And you have to know, you’re the best partner I’ve ever had in bed.”

Carlos can feel himself blush as he turns to hide in TK’s uninjured shoulder. He hears the firefighter laugh, and feels him press his cheek against Carlos’s curls.

“I mean it! I’ve never had anyone give so much of themselves to me before. It was overwhelming, in the best way. You lit me up, Carlos. And I couldn’t stay away, even when I really wanted to.” 

Carlos closes his eyes, knowing what TK’s going to say next. 

“That night,” TK says, squeezing Carlos tighter as his voice stutters. “Carlos, you have to know that I have so many regrets about that night and the way I reacted, the way I treated you. I’m so sorry.”

“Ty, I know,” Carlos says, raising his head to look TK in the eye. He cups his cheek, trying to rub away the stress that he can see on TK’s face. “You’ve already apologized for that, and I forgave you.”

“I know, I know,” TK replies, covering Carlos’s hand with his own. “But let me explain, okay. It’s important to me.” When Carlos nods, he goes on. “No one, and I mean no one, that I have ever dated has done something like that for me. Cooking me a full dinner after midnight, just because you wanted to see me, talk to me, get to know me?”

“It was ridiculous, I can’t believe I did that,” Carlos huffs, shaking his head. 

“It was my dream, Carlos,” TK whispers. Carlos’s eyes widen at his candor as they stare openly at one another. “That dinner was like something out of every dream that I have ever had about romance. The idea that someone would go to such lengths just to spend time with me? That they would understand my life in such a way that they wouldn’t be put off by my weird schedule? That they would light candles, and dress nicely, and serve me dinner? That was everything that I ever dreamed of, and something I had never had. And it scared the hell out of me.” 

“Ty, you don’t have to be scared of me,” Carlos tries, but TK keeps going.

“I know that now,” he says, “but then? Then I didn’t want those feelings. I didn’t want the dream. The dream had hurt me, the wound felt too fresh. I didn’t want the big, romantic fairytale. I just wanted simple and easy, and I hurt you. I was selfish and I made a mess of everything, and I’ll always be sorry for that.”

Carlos pulls away then, breathing deeply as he clutches TK’s hand in his. This is so much more than he expected for this evening, and he needs a moment to process. He looks at the night sky, the stars twinkling along with the lights hanging in his periphery. He wants to tell TK that he doesn’t have to keep apologizing, but he doesn’t think that his words would be enough. He realizes now that this dinner was TK’s way of making amends for that night. It means a lot to him that he would go this far to show how much he cares, even if Carlos forgave him months ago. A gentle breeze rustles the leaves on a nearby tree in the backyard, and Carlos gets an idea.

He rises from the bench, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and opening his music app. He clicks play on a song, keeping the volume low as he turns back towards TK. The other man is looking up at him, his face concerned as his eyes continue to twinkle in the lights. Carlos holds out his hand. “Can I share something with you now?”

TK doesn’t hesitate before taking his hand and following Carlos to the middle of the backyard. He turns and gathers TK into his arms, pressing him close as he starts to sway to the gentle guitar music. TK seems confused at first, but he slowly allows Carlos to turn them in a slow circle.

“I’m not a dream, Ty,” Carlos speaks softly into his ear. “I’m a person, just like you. And I’m not a perfect person, as much as I try to be. I’m going to make mistakes. You’ll make mistakes. We’ll make mistakes together. We’ll fight sometimes, we’ll scare each other. It’s going to be a lot. I’m not a person who feels things casually. I’m an all-in kind of guy.”

Carlos pulls back, cupping TK’s face in his hands. His eyes are shining with tears that have yet to fall, and Carlos can’t help but press his lips to TK’s forehead in comfort. 

“There are going to be more messes,” Carlos adds, staring directly into the eyes of the man that he probably already loves. “But I already know that I would rather make a million messes with you than live a mess-free life with anyone else.”

A tear falls onto TK’s cheek as he raises his hands to grip Carlos’s wrists, keeping his palms pressed against his face. 

“I’d rather be scared with you than have it easy with anyone else,” TK whispers, his eyes heavy as they refuse to break contact. 

Carlos feels every part of him melt as he closes the gap between them, pressing his lips to TK’s in a kiss that feels like a seal, binding them together. He can taste the salt from the other man’s tears, and he pulls him closer, wrapping him in all of the love and support that he has to give.

Later, possibly minutes or hours or days even, they break the kiss, but they don’t stop swaying in each other’s arms and, in TK’s hold, Carlos realizes that he’s finally found what he had been missing all along.