#but also my headaches are so much less bad when my hair isn't up?

[invisible-goats]

Honestly having a great time in a bandana I may have to incorporate them into my daily wardrobe

[eliasiis]

Hello ~

Couldn't help but noticed that your requests are open and

as someone who fell in love with your writing, may I ask for a CynoNari fic? ~

you sure can. also originally i was anxious about the lack of detail in this ask but then i realized it just means i have full creative freedom to do whatever the fuck i want with it so sure it works

also. i fucking love tighnari god damn

rest

pairing : cynonari

word count : 1.3k

Tighnari is overworked, to say the least.

With patient after patient coming in, Tighnari can't even get any other work done at all- Even with Collei's assistance, it's just getting to be too much. He's exhausted, he isn't sure how long it's been since he slept, much less how many hours he'd crammed into that sleep. All he knows is that he's so exhausted and he's about to drop.

"It seems things are slowing down a bit," Collei notes. When she looks at Tighnari, she notices that he looks like he isn't even listening. Even with his advanced hearing, she doesn't doubt he didn't hear her. "M-Master! Why don't you take a break?" She urges, standing in front of him rather than beside.

He finally notices that she's talking, shaking his head to get himself right. "No, no, that's alright Collei. I don't want to leave you to handle all of this yourself," He says, but Collei persists.

"I can do it! Here, sit on the cot- Should I get you anything? A drink, maybe? Something to snack on?" She asks, but Tighnari resists her urging.

"Collei, I'm fine, I assure you. I just need to get my head right. Don't worry about me," Before he can even finish his sentence, there's another visitor. Tighnari resists the urge to groan.

"Tighnari? Are you alright?" Tighnari would recognize that flat voice from miles away. He turns to see Cyno. A small, fond smile tugs at his lips.

"Yes, yes. What can I do for you?" He asks, barely holding himself up against the weight of his exhaustion. He thinks Cyno might've said something, and he thinks that Cyno's brows might've furrowed a bit in what was maybe concern, but he doesn't get too far in that analyzation before he faints.

... ◇ 》

Tighnari blinks his eyes open once, twice, and a few more times before he remembers what happened. He immediately brings a hand to his head to check for any injuries. It's nothing too bad except for a bit of a headache. He isn't wearing all of the layers he previously had been, clad in nothing but his normal shirt and his pants. He's thankful, it had gotten a bit hot earlier- but he doesn't have to be happy about it.

"Ugh... How embarrassing..." He mumbles, cursing himself under his breath. He sits up to try and look around to see where Collei is, but he just gets painfully dizzy and falls back on the cot.

"Don't sit up so fast, Tighnari."

Tighnari looks around for that voice, seeing Cyno standing beside him. "W-Wha..? Where's Collei?" He questions, rubbing at his temples. Archons, he needs to get himself together. If overworking himself leads to this, he might as well retire! The thought, despite irrational and illogical, of having to do that makes him shudder.

"The traveller came by while you were asleep. She's with them. I told her I'd stay with you until she gets back." Cyno sits beside Tighnari on the cot, running his fingers through long, silver hair. He'd discarded his helmet, apparently. The long, fluffy strands give Tighnari an urge to run his fingers through them. He'd learned how to braid a long time ago, mostly for Collei. Maybe Cyno would allow him...

He shakes that thought off. Absolutely not. "Ah... That's kind of you, but you really didn't have to do that for me. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll get up now and-"

"Absolutely not. Lie down." Cyno demands, raising a hand over Tighnari as if to push him back down. "Collei told me just how much you've been working. You will continue resting." It's not a request, Tighnari understands that. Despite this, he sits up anyway.

"Cyno, I really should-"

"No." Cyno pushes him back. It's a gentle push. He doesn't put any pressure, but he doesn't move his hand from Tighnari's chest either. "You will rest."

Tighnari makes eye contact with Cyno. It almost looks like he's challenging him to get up.

Tighnari sits up again. He swings his legs over the edge of the cot, but that's as far as he gets before Cyno grabs him by the waist and puts him back down. The action makes Tighnari both a little embarrassed and a little... Something else that he doesn't want to name. That something else makes a small, but mischievous fire light up in his eyes.

"Cyno. I'm getting up."

"Tighnari. You will rest. I have said this multiple times."

Tighnari crosses his arms. Cyno doesn't move.

Cyno's expression almost looks like he's planning something. It sends a shiver down Tighnari's spine. "One more time and there will be consequences."

These 'consequences' make a mix of misplaced dread and curiosity pool in his stomach. Despite that, Tighnari tries to get up anyway, but he barely even moves before Cyno's pushed him onto his back.

"This is your last chance to reconsider your decision, Tighnari."

"...Cyno, I have work to- A-Ah-!!! Cyno, what- Nohoho!!" Suddenly, Tighnari feels sharp nails spidering their way across his stomach, which trembles under the electric, ticklish feeling. His first instinct is to cover his already flushed face as he tries to curl away from the feeling.

"Yes. This is your penalty. I tell you to do one thing, and you do the other. Accept this." Cyno knows his nails are stupidly sharp, and he's as careful as possible with them- But that only makes the feeling worse. The light, barely-there feeling of Cyno's quick fingers unpredictably switching between his stomach and his sides is already enough to make Tighnari cackle.

Tighnari drops his hands and wraps them around his stomach to protect himself from the feeling. Cyno almost looks lost for a second, as if that had really caused him a problem.

He, however, just flips Tighnari onto his stomach and continues. He traces one long nail over his spine, up and down and up and down-

"Stop, stop!! Dohohon't do that!" Tighnari's back is a particular weak point. In makes his cackling die down into hiccupy giggling, but the repetitive tickling up and down that sensitive spot can and will drive Tighnari mad. "Just, just nohohot that-!!! hic-! Pleehehease! Not there, ahhahah- hic- Cynoo!!"

"Tell me you'll rest. Those are my conditions." Tighnari can't see him, but he can hear the smirk in Cyno's voice. He would, he wants it to stop badly, but also...

He doesn't really remember the last time he'd been this... Playful with someone. Tickling is childish and a total waste of the time he could be using to get more work done, but...

He shoves his face into the cot to muffle his desperate giggling, refusing Cyno's terms. He twists left to right, he arches his back to get away from that one maddeningly ticklish sensation but it just doesn't happen.

But then it stops.

The relief doesn't last long, though. Cyno scribbles at his shoulder-blades, chuckling to himself when he hears the muffled squeal.

Tighnari kicks his legs and tenses his shoulders, but nothing makes it stop. If it did, he might be disappointed. "No!! Thahahat's worse! Cynohoho...!! Ack!! ehehe, mmph- Mercy, mercy!! I-I cahahan't!" Tighnari's desperate pleading falls on deaf ears. He tries rolling on his side, but one hand now spiders at his side and his lower ribs while the other persists at his shoulder blades. He shrieks and tries curling up, but that doesn't deter Cyno even a bit.

Cyno leans down, blowing at the tip of his ear. He only smirks wider at tbe squeak he's rewarded with. "You know what I want to hear, Nari." The nickname makes Tighnari's thoughts short-circuit. Cyno isn't one for things like that. Somehow, the flustered feeling it gives him makes the tickling feel worse.

"I give! Ah, aha-!! I gihihive! I'll rest!!"

Cyno's hands still, and he stands up off the cot. "Good." He nods, as if he hadn't just forced Tighnari into resting.

"I will have my revenge, Cyno, remember that," But it really was exhausting. Tighnari falls asleep for the second time. He thinks for a moment that he feels a hand comb through his hair.

[sahaias]

Soy Luna Season 2 Episodes 1-30 Thoughts

Okay, so I've been going through season 2 much slower than season 1 because my free time is limited and things move super fast on my days off from work.

But beginning with my thoughts on this season and its plot points so far:

It's so fucked up that Sharon is faking Ambar's past just to preserve a fortune that isn't rightfully hers. Lili and Bernie didn't die so they could leave everything to their sister/sister-in-law, it belongs to their daughter

It feels like Simon's really been on the backburner this season so far, and I miss seeing more of him.

This also applies to most of the side characters, but I don't care about them as much lol.

I noticed Luna has more one-on-one scenes with her mom than dad this season, and I feel like it's the writers trying to make up for her confiding in her dad rather than her mom like 4/5 times more in season 1.

Adrenaline is pretentious with their "we don't show up to competitions or put limits on our art like this", and I don't get why Ramiro likes Fernanda so much. I do find it funny that Ramiro starts shitting on Matteo once he joins though, it's cathartic

I know they want us to feel bad about Matteo's whole "I can't let Luna get close to me because I am leaving soon" shtick, but it's not romantic or cute. It is just stupid. Luna would be understanding if Matteo gave the whole truth. Plus, it would be much easier on her than all the lies that he creates.

Nina and Gaston are very cute, but I am worried for them with this Oxford storyline. I wish we got more scenes of them though. It feels like their only big moment was singing together.

Ambar has been clearly messed up by Sharon, because despite knowing her alleged past that fills in all of the gaps, she still feels the need to compete with Luna and make her miserable. I just feel bad for her and am dreading how she'll respond once the truth about Luna comes out.

This twins storyline is already a headache, and I am dreading seeing what it'll progress into.

Pedro looks younger with longer hair, but I think he looked better with the shorter hair in season 1

Juliana is so extra and the way she just insults people for not meeting her standards is annoying as fuck. She has very exaggerated physical gestures that make it very bothersome to look at the screen when she is on it.

I feel like this season has more drama and less excitement in it overall, which makes me less motivated to watch. I attribute this to less Simon tbh

I like the main plot/secrets of Soy Luna more than Violetta, and the show feels more grounded than Violetta. However, the side characters and romantic pairings in Violetta are way more captivating. I am hoping upcoming plotlines are more engaging tbh.

Sebastian is such a weird recurring character, and him being an actual youtuber makes him feel more weird to me for some reason

Ending this post with the fact that when I first saw Matteo in a wig imitating Luna, I was drinking water and ended up choking on it from laughing hysterically

[wodenscild]

HOLD UP I JUST RE-READ SOME OF THE CONVERSATIONS WE HAD AND THING ABOUT WORK POLICY AND NOT BEING ALLOWED TO DYE YOUR HAIR GREEN

I mean I wouldn't do it if i were you cause green hair turns like barf yellow if exposed to too much sunlight- But the fact you aren't allowed to??

So since you have brought me back on the topic of dyed hair i will now talk about it cause well why not.

Every hair color has a weakness! Like elements in a video game! Greens weakness is sunlight (turns ugly yellow if exposed too much), purple = water (turns green??) And for other colours i dont know but i will look it up later!

Back to meanies cause my brain wants to tell people that actually take me serious about how shitty humans can be

So haha yeah remember i said that people don't bully about LGBTQIA? Yeah but trans, poly, Omni, neogender/neopronouns are an exception

Also people tend to go for clothing style, like i get called "emo" by strangers cause i have a black leather jacket. Like what?? Also the word homo (gay in dutch) is a taught curseword and often used as a insult. Even tho people say it's "a joke" also any art is greatly discouraged by the students (the teachers find it awesome)

I don't really have friends at my school but ehh i don't need them anyway, i have friends on a different school and i might even transfer to that school in two years or so. But here's why i didn't go to that school in the first place

So there's a lot of levels of difficulty in schools here, and gymnasium is the hardest, after that VWO then havo (Wich I'm doing) and that school is a gymnasium and they teach latin and Greek there and you can't choose to not do that until year 3 Wich uhh i struggle with languages a lot so no thanks. But also you can do exams in 7 different languages (Spanish, english, french, latin, Greek, deutsch and dutch) there wich isn't standards, also you can graduate in art, music and acting wich also isn't standard, i think you would like the languages since you are rlly good with them- Words hard for me :( that school also has about 3000 people that's the same amount as the people in my village- I'm now at a school with about 700 people Wich is less overwhelming :D

AND SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT THAT CLOCK AT CHURCH UP IT HAS BEEN RINGING FOR 10 MINUTES ALREADY HHHHHGG IM GETTING A HEADACHE

Oh yeah almost everyone is Christian in my village- also sorry for ranting i needed to get that off my chest- am feeling much better :D have a nice timezone (also you don't have to read the whole thing... It's just me complaining) Yeah i should walk my dog bye

-Mystery anon 1

Oh of course never apologise about ranting dear heart ^~^ by the by if you ever need to rant but don’t want the ask posted to my blog, just say so :D I have also gotten around to FINALLY tagging personal weas as #wodensasks so they are much easier to find-

BUT YEAH- I think that is the other reason why I didn’t go for green is cos of the Sun- my slice of the world is like- EXTREMELY SUNNY for no reason & Highkey is transphobic so I can’t do my hair whatever colour I like úwù currently I have black hair, but have kept the ends blonde cos I think that is sexy (before black, my hair was bleached a few months back so it was a whitish yellow & gods was it sexy)- naturally I am brown but :] so before I went to black my roots had a split tone of blonde & brown!

As seen above 😌

& gods yeah transphobia & genderqueerness are just- strangely targeted?? I have no idea why but gods does it string when someone attacks you on the basis of that :// my sibling had to leave school Cos of the bullying it was that bad. Now they study online like I do SKFKDKSK

I hope you do find friends but :] they aren’t by any means a necessity, but they are nice to have around! I know I certainly miss my lil group- even though in real life I am a massive introvert XD Was a massive introvert? Idk I feel like my boundaries has grown less & less over the year- maybe I ought to go out to a cafe some time & talk to people UwU

& Oof :(( yeah languages definitely aren’t for everyone. I think the only reason that I am so confident with Spanish despite studying for only a few months is just cos I have friends to use it with! I don’t study it with my university yet (I am considering it next year- but I would honestly be too OP in it DKFKSKFKS I also want to do Chinese cos it is just such a neat language :] & it’ll give me an excuse to study mongol xhel again!) Small schools are great but! My highschool was only like… 1,500 students? All my units at uni are pretty small too! Only like 50 students are doing sociology too (my teacher says this is cos no one really values skills of thinking differently & criticising sociedad. But oh well~~)

& mood- we have Christians in every nook 😔 I am considering wearing a spearhead to work cos while jewellery is not permitted, culturally significant jewellery is! So I could say that it is a symbol of Wōden that I wear- & due to anti-discrimination laws they can’t do anything about it >:3 afterall why do THEY get to wear their crosses & I don’t get my obsidian on twine o_o JDKDKAKD

[wepsi]

You tuned into a cat?! Reaction of Om brothers + undatables

Original art post is here please check it out!

Scenario: Satan as always is trying to play a prank on Lucifer, he and belphie bribed beel to bake a magical potion into a dessert. While they were off discussing how to trick Lucifer into eating it, you walz into the room and notice Beel baking, and a beautiful piece of dessert sitting on the table, you couldn't help but take a bite. It was delicious but you immediately started feeling weird, is the ceiling getting taller? huh that's weird, maybe you're fainting and falling to the ground. Just then Satan enters the room and his expression is as if he seen a ghost, you finally take a look at your... paws? It doesn't take you long to connect the dots in your head, and looking at Satan who is still shocked, "um? can you stop staring for a sec and help me?" Gn reader SFW

Lucifer

Usually his brother shenanigans gave him a headache but this one he doesn't mind (He won't admit he likes it)

Your white fur shedding will really stand out on his dark outfit, but he doesn't mind letting the other brothers see how much time you spend with him and on him.

Will definitely have you sit on his lap while he does his never ending paperwork, will also reach down and pet you every now and then, feeling a surge of pride when u accidentally purr.

"You can lay on my lap anytime, I feel less stressed with you here."

Mammon

Will pick you up and spin you around when he first sees you, "My little human is now a little cat! You are so fluffy!" as he buries his face in you fur.

Doesn't let anyone else hold or pet you, you are only his to touch

Will buy a cat backpack with the viewing window and take you on rides, to parties, casinos, and where ever he goes

"Isn't it fun always being with the great mammon! you should do this when you turn back too!"

Leviathan

Isn't fazed at all when he first heard of the situation, this is just like one of his anime with the super long name. Doesn't touch or pick you up until you give a million reassurances, gets extremely flustered when he finally did.

Since you have no hands you cannot play games, but no problem! This calls for a anime marathon.

Will also try to hog you for himself in his room,why would you want to spend time with his idiot brothers when you can watch anime with him!

"Hey how long are you going to stay in that form? Whatever it is I hope it's longer than that!" (immediately feels bad for saying that)

Satan

He can hardly contain his excitement, not to mention Lucifer can't kick you out like the rest of the cats he's had.

Definitely the most knowledgeable when it comes to cats, will educate you on everything you need and don't need to know about cats.

Will splurge and buy all the cat trees, toys, treats and whatnot.

Will also let you sit on his lap while he reads and his hand never stops petting you unless to turn a page in his book.

" Did you know cats sleep 12-16 hours a day? Well you can spend all those hours on my lap little kitten <3."

Asmodeus

Literally shirked when he saw you, you were SO CUTE! Almost as cute as him! Immediately tries to hold, snuggle, and kiss you earning a scowl from Mammon.

Will pamper you, brush your hair, dye it, paint your nails, and make you the prettiest cat devildom has ever seen.

Will take soooooo many pictures of you to upload onto devilgram, will also try to take you and make you and him the center of every party.

"I'm going to make you the prettiest cat in all three realms! Now what color hair and nails are we going to do today?"

Beelzebub

Everyone had to stop him from eating you several times, but after he finally ate something and not see you as food it was actually pretty fun!

He will take you with him to the gym and let you sit on his back and chest while he does push ups, sit ups and whatnot.

Will also let you sit on his shoulder while he goes about his day, with him being so big and tall he doesn't even notice your weight, and the view from that high up is amazing.

Also tries to feed you all kinds of food, Until Satan gave him a harsh lecture on what cats can and can't eat.

"Would you like some of this cake? Oh wait Satan said cats can't have dairy :("

Belphagor

Belphie knows that cats sleep 12-16 hours so when he heard you turned into a cat he was actually a little happy.

Now you can nap as much as he does so he can cling onto you at all times. You were his and now you can be with him all the time.

Was excited to snuggle your cat form and was not disappointed, you were the softest, warmest, fluffiest pillow, scratch that you are better than any pillow in any realm.

When you purred while snuggled up to him, it definitely stroked his ego, that you loved it and him this much to be purring in your sleep! Now he can only wish that you were dreaming of him as well.

"You look sleepy, come under the covers you've been up for over two hours now! I warmed the blankets up for you."

Diavolo

Though he should be feeling bad that this happened to his exchanged student, he can't help feeling extremely amused by the situation.

Will let you run around the castle and jump onto tall areas, even if you accidentally break something he will just laugh it off and tell you he will cover it.

Will carry you around with him under the guise of protecting you. Also persistent on being the one holding you to barbatos.

"My apologies for the behaviors of the brothers, but this is a really fun situation no?"

Barbatos

This type of situation isn't uncommon in devildom, but this time it involves you which has his interest peaked.

Will still have tea parties with you, but instead coming up with a recipe for catnip tea so you can enjoy tea with everyone else. coming up with new tea recipes for cats has been extremely enjoyable for him.

Will offer to clean up your litter box which made you flush and through stutters you tell him you don't use one and just go to the bathroom as usual. Also cleans up after your cat impulse messes.

"Was that tea to your liking? I added something different and special this time ;)"

Simeon

Hearing your situation definitely strikes a idea in him for a book series or mini series.

you can sit behind his laptop feeling the warmth as he types away, occasionally petting you on the head.

Brings him so much joy when you purr and rub against his leg and his hand. Will constantly try to pet you at all times, which of course you don't mind, he is very gentle and sweet.

"Though I'm the angle here you definitely look and feel like one, would you like some more pets?"

Luke

Like Asmo squeals with delight when he sees you as this cute tiny fluffy creature. He's finally not the smallest person anymore!

Will also carry you in his backpack everywhere, to the amusement park, attempts to sneak you into school, and wants you to sleep over with him every night.

After begrudgingly consulting Satan on what cats can and can't eat, Luke tries bake you all kinds of cat friendly desserts and snacks. How sweet!

"Try this! What do you think? Also stay over tonight too, you can't trust those demons especially now you're so small."

Solomon

When you ask him if he can help you he shakes his head. To be honest he didn't even bother to try, the spell will wear off on it's own, there's no reason to speed it up when you look so cute!

Will put a invisibility spell on you so he can sneak you with him to school, and smile down at you every now and then making your heart flutter.

Will do all kinds of magic on you to have fun with you, making you float? easy. Making bubbles appear for you to bat at, for sure!

Finds it amusing that your fur and his hair is the same color, will also brush your fur for you.

"What would you like to try today after school? I can try to make some snacks as well, no? Then would your like to float again?"

Check out my master list for more content!

[meaty4spicedbuns]

JJK HEADCANON - Why would they get scared ?

Resume : It's easy to think of them getting scared of losing you in the battlefield. But some are more specific. Warning : fem!reader, mention of threatening life. If you don't feel comfy with accident, threatening life, low mental health and physical health this headcanon isn't made for you. A lot of reader discretion since some topic are really sensitive in my opinion. To not spoil too much here I'll put the theme after each character name. Pairing : Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Kagusaki Nobara, Gojo Satoru, Getou Suguru, Roymen Sukuna, Maki Zeni'n, Yuuta Okkotsu

PS : if you sign up for sukuna or Getou, these have both toxic behavior so reader discretion is asked PPS : I wanted to write for everybody but the inspiration wasn't here. So if I let a name somewhere and didn't write anything about them , let me know!

🌸Itadori Yuji ; dying in a fight

"You could have died" he mutter, brushing you hairs off your foreheads.

You are laying on the cold ground. Goosebumps on your arm as you realized the coldness of the concret. But you are also sweating like hell.

You lift your waist and stare at Yuji, brushing your arm to get the heatness before itadori give you his jacket.

"What happened exactly..?" you ask with a little voice.

Your head hurt. You must have a bad headache. It's hard to put one word after the other. You raise your hand to the back of your head. You are sure you gotten hit by something but you can't find any blood or injuries. Yuji is looking at every movement you are doing with a lot of concerne in his eyes.

" Did you heal me?

" No.., he sight. Not me..." his voice sound desesperate while he blankly stare at somewhere. "Yuuta passed by here.. Thankfully."

He is completly lost in his mind for a second. You can completly see he has been scared of something. But before you can add anything, he repeat himself "You just could have.."

And suddenly it hit you. Everything was blurry until then. You couldn't focus your stare on anything wich was farer away than itadori until now. But now your see.

Yuji is starring at a big hole in a wall faraway. A lot of blood is spatter on hit. A drizzle is still running down the scrap to the ground just right under where you are sitting.

Destroyed buildings, cars burning, holes all over the floor and walls. It's a battlefield and you are one of the jujutsu fighting on it. Some flash come to you, but you can't reconstruct the whole situation.

"What happened.. Itadori.."

You can see his fist clenching. He get closer to you. His arms quickly wrappe around you. You end up in a warm hug.

"You jumped to protected me, you silly. Never do that again."

🌸Megumi Fushiguro ; unpredictable danger

Everything went so fast, he didn't even bat an eyes.

You were in a shopping date to look up for summer clothes, and it was a good excuse to get some cake at the bakery too. You both love to hang around town on your off day.

"It's here!" you point out a little bakery on the other side of the street. "I saw it on Google map!

" Let's go ahead then, he give you one of those soft smile."

With a little excitement, you node. Looking right and left before crossing the road, checking if the signal is green for pedestrian and then you cross it.

But in less than a second, a car pull out from somewhere. Going so fast you couldn't even see it coming, and Megumi couldn't even saw it driving away. In a minute his world just began to spin around him. The car just stopped once it hit you, but the guys freaked out so much he leaved you on the road like that.

And Megumi's heart stopped. Seeing your lifeless body on the ground, inanimated, blood coming from under you. It just once he heard someone screamed that he realized the situation.

He rushed at you, taking his phone off at the same time. He called Gojo, the only person he know capable of teleportaton, and beg him to come as fast as he can. He resume the situation in two word, and without twenty minute you were taking in charge at the hospital.

When Gojo ask Fushiguro what happened, no words could come out of the mouth of the boy anymore. He is starring blankly at the wall, dead inside as the fear is eating him out to the bones.

And Gojo can see it. Seeing that trying to get his mind busy was going to be hard for him, and that he didn't have too much time to stay. So he call itadori and Nobara at rescue while you were taking care by professionals.

🌸Nobara Kugisaki ; other people and they hatred

It had been a great evening that you had with Nobara. The girl brought you to a restaurant she discover not that long ago and you had a chat. It's night when you both decided to head up back to Jujutsu Hight.

So while Nobara decided to call for a Uber, you were next to her on your phone. Both waiting on the street at night, and too focus to see a car pass by two time already.

The third time, the car stop right on front of you, opening the window and almost screaming at you to come in.

At first you are the one noticing it, and it directly put you half scare, half annoyed.

"No thank, go away" you bash off. But the guys continu to call for you and now it's Nobara turning her head when he open the passager door to push the harassment.

" Fuck off trash bag she said!" scream she girl will pushing the door with her feet to close it. At the moment the guys pulled off and go out of it. It was also enough for both of you. But you were so focus on the driver you didn't realized they were a second guys at the back, half stoned, half drunk, that came out with the conductor.

Everything happened so fast. The conductor went facing you , ready to throw, as the guys on the passager side opened the door. He then grab you to pull in, at what you fall back and your head hit the roof of the car while he try to pull you in.

And hearing you scream was enough for Nobara to turn God mode. She throw a hard kick at the guts guys in front of her before she turn over bend and grab the stoned guys tee shirt. He were completly panicking to see you unconscious so it was easy for her to punch him hard in the face.

He then fall back on the passager side while the other one is having a hard time going back in the car. He drive away as soon as he is sat.

Nobara then kneel at you. You are still half head in the cloud, with her all affraid of you being hurt.

Thankfully she could get a ride quickly for you to be checked up.

🌸Gojo ; him failling.

"You are so weak."

Holding a knife in your hand, you stand in front of him just glaring. The blade is painted of red, dropping on the floor. It's been a while Gojo didn't saw his own blood on a blade.

And all of this because he trusted you enough to turn off his protection. That is all it took for you.

"Look at you."

You throw a kick in his stomach. He is still feeling light from the loss after your repetitive stab. He can't even think straight for now, needing to get back in his trail of thoughts. All his focus is turn toward stopping the bleeding. But pain and fear are the only things running in his mind.

"Pathetic."

You spit at him with disgust. A last kick thrown and you turn around, already bored of it. He is hardly breathing but he decided he won't let anything more happen.

With one palm and his stomach to try keeping everything in place, he manage to stand on his feets. He is visibly shaky, but by time passing he is getting use to his state. After all he is not the strongest for none.

"It suit you to be a vilain, he say drawing a smile with pain. I should have know.

"Come on, you already had a hard time figuring out your best friend was turning depress, how can you think you would see me turning bored of you?"

It's almost midnight but the moon shine so bright to cast a shadow. He can see you walking around the flat, playing with that enormous knife making your hand look so small. Thoses hands that finally gave him peace for a short time.

Red as roses, sharpe like them.

"You're already healing eh? I know you've got a bunch of technique making you so powerful, almost unkillable. What a shame.

"At least you tried, we can't take it away from you."

The wound wasn't that deep since he gotten use to turn on the infinite so fast. He is mostly injured inside. His hurt ís bleeding a torrent.

"Well then, if I can't hurt you then.." you grín, lifting up the shining knife up to your neck. " I know you stupid bastard get emotional over me. I know your feeling Satoru. You're too weak, you felt for me."

Gojo's eyes opened wide.

It's true, he love you.

In a split of a second, you place is taken by a vision of Suguru. Habits are hard to get away from. Second lost for him not being able to see things turning to vinegar?

"You don't need to do that."

He is trying to get a firm voice, but you can even hear it shaking a little.

"You look like a puppy!", you say with a mocking tone of voice. "Come on little puppy, wiggle your tail for momma! What a good boy!

"Stop that."

A wink from you as you are ready to play more, you know your next words were going to leave a mark in him.

"Next time, open your eyes Satoru. It's been twice you fail us."

And in a split of a second, the blade cut your skin. As a mad man, you let it slide from the front to the back of your throat with a large theatral move. The cut is so wide, the blood splash everywhere like the next Tarantino's movie. And Satoru can only assist at it as a simple spectator.

Why save you if you gonna turn like him anyway?

Time seems to slow down as you lifeless body shake ridiculously and fall from its feets. It's turning on itself, blood thrown at you as your heart is pumping in for one of the last time.

A tear of it send directly right at his faces, between his eyes as it almost touch his skins.

Anxiety is then getting high the roof as he realized it; your death, your betrayal, him failling again, him being alone again, no more of your soft touch, no more of your encouraging words, your smile, your laugh, your everything. No more of one of his most important and beautiful person on his life. The next breath is hard to take as it remind him being, again, the one surviving the other.

And when his eyes closed, leaving the last image of your body falling, he open them wides again.

But this time in a really dark place.

Draping in a hot and soft blanket.

Feeling someone next to him.

Is that you?

He can't even hear his thought while he is breathing so loud.

"Satoru.. ?" you say in a muted voice, just coming out from your dream. "It's a.. nightmare.. again?"

It's sure you don't even realized you're awake and won't remember it next morning. But hearing your voice have always made that thing, calming him down.

He don't even talk and reach his longs arms at you, felling you against him as he press himself against your body.

🌸Getou Suguru ; THIS BITCH, going away from him.

/!\ toxic Behavior/!\

You stuff your bag with your things. You are completely done with his bullshits. Him thinking of doing good for Jujutsu world is a thing. Him killing innocents humans is another.

When you are done with your clothes in the bedroom, you give a last look at the room, say goodbye to all the stuff you are leaving behind, and close the door.

Still the hands on the handle, it take a lot to get away from your own tight grip. You don't want but you can't do anything about it.

You are leaving. And at first, you wanted to talk about it to your companion, being honnest as always being important for both of you in your relation.

But your thoughts of his reactions, learning you're going away for a while, stopped you from doing so. He would explose in a million of pieces. You know it. And you would not be ready and strong enough for it.

It's being a while, and it's not your job, to look after him for long. You need to breath. Your mental health can't take it anymore. You can see him turning mad at the world. Not at you tho.

But stopping being a Jujutsu, and staying by his side as a clan for a while would had been good if it wasn't him wanting to kill human. You could have accepted to be a part time Jujutsu. Going away in a village. Being the "gentle witch" and from time to time being called by jujutsu high for help.

But Geto though otherwise for both of you.

So you decided to leave.

Your phone in ringing, you were waiting for that for the whole day. But it's at night that it happened.

"You're not home?" just hearing his voice over the phone made you want to be with him. The atmosphere of your B&B is heavy and uninviting.

"I needed some airs...

"Where are you at? Drinking something out?

"I'm at..." you swallow hard, knowing the next words are going to be a grenade. "I'm at the hotel..."

And just right after, his voices became completly calm. Dangerously calm.

"The hotel uh? Honey don't be silly, come back home.

"Suguru, I can't be more serious. I need time...

"Time for what? Come back home, we will talk about it." His voice give you chill at this moment.

"I know you are upset, but I need to think. I can't continu to just leave you act and not react. I am at my limit Suguru.. I.. I alway wanted to do good, being a Jujutsu you know..

"Let's talk that home. I heard you are in a hotel a few blocks away right? Any better weren't full? You can't sleep in somewhere like that. I come to take it."

You knew it. Couldn't espace that easily.

"I wanted to see if you could find me easily. I'm not there. I took a plane to somewhere else."

The hard sound behind made you understand that he broke something. You can heard a smal fainted voice behind him.

"Come back. Now." his voice is still remaining calm, but it's orders now. At this point only you could back against that behavior. And you are still shaking, a hundred kilometer from him.

"No." A tears I running done your cheek.

"You are going to come back. Last call. You silly, you don't want me to be mad." he don't even realized he is brushing his phone with his thumb, wishing it was you hand.

"I don't... I don't Suguru but I choose my choice. You will wait. I waited enough from you, and you didn't change a single thing for me. So now one, it will be me making you wait. I love you, but I can't handle it anymore."

In the last sentence, he could heard you sobbing. It took some much from you to say that. But still. The anger is here. He don't even talk back that a hard noises break into your speaker. He just throw his phone against something, making you jump on your bed.

He is angry. You are crying, affraid, sad, but you've done something you really wanted to do for a while.

🌸Sukuna ; you hating/being affraid of him

/!\ topic : toxic behavior /!\

Sukuna is used to being hated and feared. And he ultimately like it. It give him a chance of control over anybody frightning, making his next move upon them.

But when it's about someone he like, and eventually love, he discovered he hated it.

After all, he made it so clear that he wouldn't hurt you and wouldn't leave you alone.

Even if he have tendency to get angry issue, or doing thing you don't like. Screaming or hitting things out of rage. It just his (toxic) way to do not do anything to you that he would obviously regret.

Wich lead to that day, when an argue went a little bit too big. It was a big topic for both of you. And you getting used to not being affraid of him made you more noisy and willing to go against him and his says.

Until it happened. Sukuna have discovered a kind of patience with you, but everything have tendency to roll low when you don't have much in stock.

So, while yo raise your voice, he looked you dead in the eyes and slap you. And despite this behavior being something you wouldn't have accepted from anybody, it something that sound like Sukuna's behavior. So you could have bashed it off.

Except that the problem is that he is strong, and he is a curse. Usually something you could have manage from a human wasn't manageable. It hurt badly.

You loose your stability and fall on the ground. You cheek turn instantly red, and soon the mark of his hand was appaering on your skin.

When he realized you wasn't talking anymore, or neither moving, he spoke with a cold tone of voice.

"What, pet. Get up.

"You fucking moron, you wanna brush your cheek as a reflexe but it hurt really bad. It's hurt.

"Come one, I didn't even went that hard.

"it hurt!" At this point you almost scream, tears rolling on your cheek that was burning now. "It hurt a lot.

He wasn't even looking at you until now. And seeing the print of his hand made him realized he didn't manage his strength. And it did look hurtfull for someone who is just human.

But the worst isn't that. The worst is the look you are giving at that moment.

Hatred and fear are now living in your dark pupil.

He was about to come closer to check on you, but you instanstly take a step back while standing.

"Don't touch me." you ordered. "You've done enought."

Even if you were awaiting for something like that happening one day, the strength he used call you back on earth. And lead your mind to made up thing. Made the fact that he can hurt you and would use strengh if he can't have what he want. That he can kill you. That you are just a human, less than anything. That he can replace you.

And it might be true for anybody. But not sukuna. He think he showed you enough he is strongly attached to you for you not being affraid of all of that.

But your look at that moment was showing your thoughts, and saying all of it. And he hated it.

You, thinking like other.

You, thinking like everybody.

He showed you enough to trust him. Showing you a lot of who he is. So why are you giving this look.

"Stop." he spit. "Stop that right now." he is walking toward you.

"Don't approach me, you hiss but he does not listen.

"You better stop."

You couldn't move back more, something was blocking your back. So he bend over and grab firmly your chin. His nails in your skin hurting even more. He is staring at you, reading into your mind.

"That look you are giving. I am use to." his grab on you is getting stronger. "I gave you everything. But if you want a real reason to be affraid I'm going to give you one!"

He then lift you, forcing you to get on your feet before throwing you away and leaving the room. You're still on the floor for more time after he left.

You are playing with him. And you don't even know it. All you see is angryness and rage. But deep down you are making him angry at himself. He hate that tight you've gotten on him with time.

That look made him angry. Seeing the bad in him. And he hate that. Fear and hate.

🌸Maki ; being vulnerable

Maki is someone know to train herself a lot, making her on of the strongest person you know when it's about one on one fight.

But despite being strong, she is also really vulnerable deep inside. That poor girl is always putting herself down for whatsoever reason. And everytime you are the most willing to put things in place.

Thus that is how, at the beginning, everything was complicated with you. You were always go against what she was saying, leading to argue that became more and more personnal.

Until the day she realized why you were making thoses scenes. You liked her.

And so she decided to stay by your side.

Maki have a weird things wich is, if she like you she will be harsh on you the whole day. You need to be strong, but she need to be stronger. And only once at night, you both can relaxed.

Except this day was different. You were both on a mission. She is still a 4 grades jujutsu, but you manage to get stronger. You are a grade 2. And well, things gotten complicated at jujutsu high for both of you to be send to somewhere. You asked to go together, knowing you work well with team.

And then it happened.

An abandoned school, leaved after a building had burned. A entirely classroom died in the fire, leaving a lots of negative feelings.

And things you didn't thought about. Level two curses are manageable for you, but when it happened that there is a lot of them you have a hard time.

Everything happened so fast. In a minute you are on the ground. In another Maki lost her glasses. In the next one she realized you are in a really deep condition by your scream and your face.

And at that moment, the look you gave her made her completely shiver from the top of her head to her toes.

She see the fear in your eyes, she hear the pain in your voice but she can't help you. She don't see them. She is damaged, she isn't enought.

Thankfully she get back on her feet quickly and grab her glasses. Curses are in sight now, and she can run to kill them.

In a matter of some longues minutes, you are both breathless, but standing, alive, on top of cursed body.

But this episodes gonna stayed in Maki's mind for a long run now. You affraid, helpless, in terror for a split second while she can't help but (not even) look.

🌸Yuuta ; not being enought especially to help you

Yuuta has no fear of the Jujutsu world. Especially when it come about you. You are careful, you have great fight skills and, plus, if needed he can heal you.

So if anything in the world would happened to you, he could help you. Well, everything except for..

" Are you alright?"

Yuuta push the door of the room. The night let felt his dark curtain for more than an hours now. Your living room is empty, but a mutter noise came from your bathroom.

Without even thinking, he rush to the noise, facing a bathroom door half open and some very little light coming from the screen of your phone. It's on the ground, facing the ceiling, while you are sitting next to it, knees against you. The last app open is his conversation with you.

The texts show some lies he smelt :

"How are you today sunshine?,,

"Fine, tired, and you,,

"I'm OK, soon to be here finally!!,,

"I love you so much.. Sorry.. ,,

You whimpe for air, a tiny sobbing noises swallow as you lift your head up once you hear him coming.

" I'm turning the light on, he says softly." but you don't even move.

And when it is on, his heart stop. Your eyes are red, your hands are grabbing your knees so hard your nails went almost into the skin. Your chest lift itself up and down while you silently cry.

" What.. Happened ?" he kneels himself in front of you.

" I'm - I'm.." your shoulder go up and down as you try to gasp so air. "I'm so... So tired..." more tears roll on your check.

The pression had crush you under for a while, and it was painful for you but Yuuta never saw it. That boy was so busy he almost forgot how to live. So you hidden it from him.

For you, he didn't needed no more pressure from something supposed to bring hapyness and love.

Yuuta's jaw clenched, for a second he can't handle how much he was blind to yours signals of sadness until that day. But tonight isn't the night, and he must focus on you. So he breath in really silently, and out. And with a gentle voice, he ask you to follow him. He take you to the bed. Your head feel like a brick, and you weren't in a state to think so you follow him. And he lay you on your bed.

" Do you want me to stay?" he ask, deep inside he do want to, but he know it's important to respect boundaries.

You node. So he lay himself and take you in his arm. You could feel him tightly cuddling you, but you couldn't understand how scared it made him feel to see you so helpless.

Seeing you in a bad mental health (the only things he can't heal)

🌸Nanami ; being too much

When he push the door of his flat, Kento is used to see you. You both don't live together, but it's almost like.

Every two days, or when you know he will have a long mission or day, you decide to come and prepare a glass of wine for him and of whatever you feel like drinking, and some diner (takeaway or homely cooked).

And today wasn't an exception. You were here, on the counter, on your phone when he pass in front of the door.

Although today wasn't his day tho. He was angry, nervous, furious, stressed. He wasn't feeling good, but you didn't realized at first. When you jumped out the counter you almost run to him to say hello. But as soon as you were close he lift his palm to you and said with a fierce and strong voice :

"No." he then turn around and, with piercing eyes trough his tiny glasses, said with the same tone of voice. "Leave me alone.

"Kento, what happened?"

He is ultimately tired and let himself fall on the couch. With a quick move he almost throw his glasses on the floor and put his faces in his hands. He breath loudly.

"You want to talk? Or you want me to talk and distract you from your thoughts?" you tried, knowing that kento can often have up and down from his job.

"Why are you still here?

"I care about you.

"Why." he then get silent and with a firm voice continue "You should leave. You shouldn't come you have more important to handle. Go away now.

"Kento..

"Leave. Go. Away."

He already told you thoses kind of thing. Nanami always think isn't good enought, always think he isn't strong enough.

But tonight, from all other time, his voices sound really tired but franc. Too franc.

"Do you want me to leave, Kento?

"..." after a long second of silent he answer. "Yes.

"Should I leave your keys here?

"Yes.

"There is think in the kitchen if you are hungry."

No answer. You then manage to follow his directive. Went back posing everything on place in the kitchen,your heart racing as you feeling like everything is sliding out your hands.

But when you turn to face the kitchen door, you see him closing it behind him. Your fear of him not wanting you anymore is still here, but fainting until he left his hand wich seems heavier than anything else on earth.

"Come." he mutter. At what you obeyed. He then press you against his chest, his chin on your head. "You took us Korean to eat tonight?

"Yes. That one we wanted to try..

"I'm lucky to have you looking after me. Please, don't leave me. "

He sight. As an excuse.

" You need to rest. Let's eat and watch something."

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch. 7

Ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4 ch.5 ch.6

Summary: in which Cassandra gets bullied and other sappy shenanigans

---

"Oh Nicole dear, so happy to see you again!" Duke's voice was cheerful as ever, tone masterfully crafted over years of being a businessman.

Nicole, taking small steps inside the ornate and now full of items room, greeted him with uncharacteristic giddiness.

"Duke! How's business?"

"Same as always, I'll be heading to Beneviento later tonight to deliver some tools for her," he took a long drag of his cigar and, noticing green eyes scanning over multiple items and said, "I also have your order."

With a childish grin on her face, she approached him, hands shuffling inside the small bag attached to her belt that all staff members had. She pulled out the money owed for her package and, in return, the Duke placed a decently sized box in her arms. With an oof she shifted it in a less precarious position, it's heavy contents seeming to plot against her small frame.

"Unfortunately I can't stay, duty calls. But thank you Duke."

"No worries, I do understand that your employers can be quite," he took another drag of his cigar, looking for the right word. "...demanding"

Nicole chuckled. That was one way to put it.

"Well until next time dear. Or if you find yourself in need of something else, I'll be here until six."

---

She was only wearing a long white towel when she heard a knock on the door. Assuming it was another maid, or even Anita inquiring about whether or not she'd be joining the rest of them for dinner, she opened the door just a crack.

It was a surprise to see none other than Cassandra standing there, her elegant frame in odd contrast with the modest corridor. She flung the door open, letting the brunette inside and took a quick glance down the hall, making sure no maid was on the floor after fainting due to fright.

"What are you doing here?"

"Aw, are you not happy to see me?" She was pouting, but her tone was joking.

Nicole rolled her eyes, but the small smile on her lips betrayed that she was indeed happy to see her. Cassandra only laughed instead, a beautiful melodious laugh, so unlike the dark cackles heard by prisoners down in the dungeons.

"Just sit down, I need to get dressed," Nicole pointed to the bed before moving to the small dresser and pulling out a clean uniform.

Cassandra went to sit on the slightly disheveled bed, eyes following the redhead's form as she let the towel drop to her feet and started to put on the various layers of her uniform. Then golden eyes darted to the box sitting on the bed. The tape sealing it had been cut not long after Nicole brought it back to her room to make sure all its contents made it safely. Not that she didn't trust the Duke, but postal service was postal service.

"What's this?" Cassandra inquired, trying to read the label but having no success as it had been scribbled over with a marker.

Nicole stilled for a moment, hands frozen on her white button up. She cleared her throat and shyly admitted:

"Actually that's for you. Do open it if you want."

Cassandra's eyes widened, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks. The gesture had really caught her off guard. She gingerly lifted the lid, inspecting it's contents for a moment and then hummed.

"And here I was thinking you like my hair. With how much you love to pull on it and all that."

Nicole, now fully clothed and sporting a deep blush, marched to her and plucked the two boxes of red hair dye from gloved hands. She placed them on her nightstand and, with her voice just slightly more high pitched, she turned to the brunette.

"Those are mine, I meant the rest of it." And, after a chuckle, "I mean have you seen my roots? They're horrible!"

Cassandra only gave her a deadpan look and, after a long moment, said: "I think your hair is beautiful."

She didn't wait for a reply, not that it would be anything more than a stammered mumble of course. Instead she chuckled and returned her attention to the box. She examined the rest of its contents and then gingerly lifted one of the few tomes inside. The cover was glossy and malleable, it's pages shiny and with a distinct typography smell to it. It was so unlike her other books, it's pristine white state making it feel extremely out of place in the castle. She glanced at Nicole inquisitively.

"I do appreciate the gift, don't misunderstand me, but surely you know there's a small bookshop's worth of medical books in this castle."

"With all due respect, from what I've seen most of them are at least somewhat outdated. Interesting, yes, but I thought you'd like to learn something more...modern." Then she pulled out another book. "This is the same one I used while studying forensic pathology. It would make teaching you some things easier. Uh… assuming you want that."

Nicole averted her gaze, suddenly unsure of the usefulness of her gift. Cassandra however grabbed her chin between two fingers and pulled her gaze back on her. She smiled, finding the shy demeanor beyond endearing.

"I'd love that."

A small smile appeared on thin lips and Nicole leaned in to kiss Cassandra. It was soft and short, but no less intimate than the deep kisses they shared so many times in Cassandra's bed.

They had to go anyway.

---

Let's go to the library, Cassandra said. It'll be empty, she said.

When Cassandra swung open the intricate door, only to find the other two sisters lounging on one of the couches, it's not like they could do a one eighty and leave the room. That would've been both impolite and highly suspicious.

Instead, Cassandra grabbed her arm protectively and led them to the reading spot farthest from the other two. They placed one of the textbooks on the small desk and Cassandra took out a notebook. This would've been a lot more fruitful with an actual body on hand, but there were still a couple days until the human flesh supply had to be replenished and Cassandra was beyond eager to start on some things. So, for now, they had to settle for theory alone.

It took all of five minutes for the other two sisters to make their way to their desk. Daniela had a giddy yet curious expression on her face, while Bela seemed as unreadable as ever, if not for a glint in her eyes that betrayed her interest.

"Whatcha dooooing?" Came Daniela's voice, who cocked her head not unlike a curious puppy would while looking at the book's contents.

"Working," Cassandra replied, a slight growl accompanying her words.

"Could've fooled me," Bela spoke from behind the youngest sister, eyeing the hand protectively placed on Nicole's waist.

Cassandra snapped her eyes at the blonde, looking ready to throw her notebook at her head but Bela ignored her sister's ire and addressed Nicole instead.

"What are you studying?"

"I uh- just some basic anatomy concepts. Thought it would be a good idea to start with the things that the older books in the castle don't cover."

Bela only hummed, grabbed an ornate chair nearby, and plopped herself at the desk, opposite from the pair. Daniela mimicked her sister, but instead chose to sit down right by Nicole on the small couch. It took more willpower than she would admit not to glue herself to Cassandra's side when Daniela's face came uncomfortably close so she could look over the book's diagrams. She stood still as a statue though. After a couple seconds of silence and Nicole trying to figure out what she was supposed to do, Daniela drew her head back, looking at her with what was possibly the most serious expression she had seen on the youngest sister.

"You do realize we're not going to hurt you right? How could we lay a finger on our dear sister's lover hmm?"

Nicole's breath caught in her throat. She wasn't sure if it was due to the word used to describe her or how Daniela apparently knew that she was utterly terrified of her. Cassandra sighed beside her and, seeming to at least partially read Nicole's thoughts, clarified:

"Your heartbeat."

Oh. Yeah. Yeah her heart was beating a million miles an hour. And apparently the other three vampiric occupants of the room were able to hear it loud and clear. It did very little to ease her mind.

"Please do calm down, it feels like someone is having drumming lessons. Bad ones," Bela complained, head resting in one of her hands like she was already bored.

"Then shove a sock in your ears," Cassandra snapped.

Bela simply leaned back in her seat and stretched her arms above her head. "And risk not hearing my beloved sisters sing along to some pop song?"

Cassandra shut her mouth, a blush now slowly spreading across her cheeks while Daniela burst out into laughter. Even Nicole couldn't help betraying the brunette and letting out a giggle.

"I didn't know you could sing."

"I can't."

"Au contraire dear Cassie! Should I remind you of the last time Dragostea din tei came on the radio? The pathos!" Daniela reached over Nicole's lap to lightly shake her sister's knee through her giggles.

Cassandra only let out a long groan, face now hidden in her palms. "I hate you both."

"Mhm, we love you too," came Bela's reply, accompanied by a chuckle.

Nicole couldn't keep a small laugh while she snaked her arm behind the brunette to show some form of support against the merciless assailants. Maybe not a complete betrayal.

The scene really had something deep within her heart aching beautifully. It reminded her of the countless times she and Alex would mercilessly tease each other, but still have each other's backs through thick and thin. And for this familiarity to come from people that any sane person would consider bloodthirsty monsters? Hell, maybe they should start considering her a monster too, for the only word she could use to describe them in that moment was endearing.

"So," Bela lightly clapped her gloved hands. "Now that your pulse isn't giving me a headache anymore, what are we doing?"

She had a confident smirk on her face, but her eyes betrayed curiosity. Same for Daniela and, although mixed with a hint of annoyance, Cassandra. She opened the book in front of her, one of general human anatomy, and decided that the digestive system would be a good enough starting point.

---

Their little impromptu lesson didn't last more than two hours. Two hours that proved to Nicole just how oddly human all three sisters can be. Of course she had gotten familiar with Cassandra, intimately so, but the other two still felt like two looming monsters hiding in the shadows. At least up until now.

Bela seemed oddly intrigued by Nicole's explanation, although unlike Cassandra, she seemed to view it more like a story than anything. Daniela seemed slightly more interested, asking questions here and there and even starting to giggle like a middle schooler when they got to the rectum section. That got an eye roll from the other two. Nicole just laughed, finally understanding Mrs Hawkins, her private biology teacher from before she was allowed to step foot in any public school.

After they were done, Bela simply stood up and bid them good night. Danila instead excitedly proposed the skeletal system for next time and picked up the books she abandoned earlier. Then, with a small tower of tomes she went through a door tucked at the very back of the room. Her study, Cassandra had pointed out as they made their way out of the library.

"I didn't know your sisters were interested in medicine too." Nicole kept her voice low, almost as if talking too loudly would disturb the shadowy hallways.

"More or less. Daniela likes it and has a bit of hands-on practice but she has her nose in romance novels more often than not. Bela finds it interesting but botany is what she really loves. That and classic lit." She added the last part with a grimace and Nicole had to wonder which author had offended her personally.

Before she could continue that train of thought though, her gaze moved to the windows, the cloudless sky beyond thick glass panels full of twinkling stars. Her mind kept going back to a few hours earlier and at what Daniela had said. Lover. Did Cassandra truly see her as one or was the youngest sister just being her over the top self. Did she see Cassandra this way? Nicole had not allowed herself to dwell on that up until now, the idea that the brunette saw her as more than an over glorified lab partner with whom she occasionally scratched an itch seemed almost laughable. But the small gestures of affection shown in ways Cassandra seemed to know best were undeniably there. And the familiar flutter in her chest at each of said gestures was also undeniably there.

"What's wrong?"

Cassandra's voice, accompanied by the slight echo through the empty hallway, snapped Nicole out of her thoughts.

"Oh um- nothing." She sounded as convincing as someone trying to sell you a fork while showing you a spoon.

And Cassandra didn't seem to buy it. She moved in front of the redhead, walking backwards with no concern over possible furniture to collide into along the way.

"You always get this… face when something's bothering you."

"I do not-" the indignation in her tone was weak, little more than an attempt to change the subject.

"Mhmm you do. You normally look focused. Kind of like, if someone tried to scare you by throwing an eyeball at you, you'd laugh." She would. "Now? Now you look like a rabbit that has no time to run and is just laying low hoping whatever's hunting it passes by."

Nicole shut up for a moment, only looking at the brunette in front of her incredulously. Maybe she was far more attentive than she gave her credit for.

"Uh. Just thinking." At a raised dark eyebrow, the no shit went unsaid, so Nicole tried to elaborate. "About earlier. When we were with your sisters and Daniela uh- Daniela called me your lover."

Saying that the words felt awkward on her tongue was close to the year's biggest understatement. It felt like pulling out teeth would be an easier task. Nicole had never been good with her words, having learned since childhood to keep her mouth shut. But the fact that Cassandra seemed to share her struggle brought some semblance of comfort.

"And?" As if they were talking about the weather.

"And… was she right in describing me as such?"

She couldn't help a small gulp when the brunette stopped walking, looking at her with a frown. Any sane person would be at the very least somewhat afraid in this situation. Sanity however was scarce these days as Nicole was afraid, though not of the bodily harm that may come from her inquiry, but rather of Cassandra's answer.

"Nicole, your tongue has been in my mouth." Amongst many other places.

The redhead's cheeks turned a slight shade of crimson and she mumbled for an answer. She wasn't sure how to tell her that sleeping together did not automatically make them lovers. But then again, Cassandra's thoughts remained a mystery more than anything.

Thankfully the brunette took the metaphorical reins of the conversation and stepped forward. She wrapped her hands around Nicole's arms, gentler than one would imagine possible from her, and bent down to whisper no more than an inch away from her ear.

"I'll have you know, I'm not particularly fond of letting anyone I don't deem important touch me. Especially not the way you do."

The words made something flutter in Nicole's chest, an unfamiliar and comforting warmth. Said warmth got chipped away at the slightest bit when Cassandra pulled back to look her in the eyes.

"Should I take it that it's not mutual then?" Cassandra's tone was nonchalant, almost as if she didn't truly care about the answer. She could keep doing whatever she wanted either way, afterall who was going to stop her? But to someone who got familiar with all her small quirks and habits, the waver in her voice was more than clear.

"No." The world slipped from her lips with no hesitation.

No hesitation, because the more she thought about it, and she didn't need to think a lot mind you, the more Nicole realized that she couldn't remember a time when she felt the way she did here. Sure the initial threat of death looming over her head was anything but pleasant, but once that melted into affection and nights spent in Cassandra's arms the thought of leaving didn't as much as graze her mind.

"No, no. It is," she repeated, more certainty making its way into her tone.

At that Cassandra smiled. A small, almost shy one would say if they knew her well enough, smile. Her shoulders seemed to lose some of their tension when she leaned down again, her lips stopping not even an inch away. Nicole wasted no time leaning forward, their mouths meeting in a kiss that mixed softness and need beautifully. Their lips slid against each other until, surprisingly, it was Cassandra to pull back and sigh.

"Come sleep, we have some cutting up to do in the morning."

Nicole frowned. "Tomorrow? Wasn't that supposed to be due in a few days?"

A devilish grin appeared on black lips, fangs shimmering ominously in the low light. "Bela caught a foolish man-thing sneaking around the forest on the castle grounds. She's really excited to turn this one into a nice steak."

The redhead only let out an oh in acknowledgement. Foolish indeed. At least they could finally put into practice a few autopsy tricks Nicole had been itching to show her.

She let herself be guided back to Cassandra's chambers and into her bed, that she had grown intimately familiar with. The last thing she felt before falling asleep was the brunette's cool skin, pressed against her own. A welcomed comfort among the myriad of soft pillows that surrounded them. Nicole wondered briefly if being undead meant it was hard to keep yourself warm, but the thought quickly slipped away as she fell into a dreamless sleep.

[symptoms-syndrome]

So much easier said than done, but i find with the making choices based on parts thing, ill do something as a practice choice that has little to no effect on anything, like ‘which food do we need now n which tomorrow’ ect. To make it a lil bit easier to sort out thr clusterfuck that comes even from that, I visualize a poll that everybun can vote on! It helps to come up w tricks that r easier for u (but take whatever advice ur therapist has first ofc)

Enyways i had dee eye dee ask! Do any parts feel like, physically different fronting? Like sense of taste slightly skewed or feel like they’re in a body thats jarringly different?

That's def a good idea. I hesitate to do something like a poll, because it feels likely I'll end up with a dozen highly traumatized parts being like "if we get strawberry sorbet we will DIE" out voting the more grounded parts making rational decisions. But I'll try my best to do little practice choices.

And yeah, that's one of the more reliable ways for me to tell who's up front actually. Apart from parts having different like. Appearances they sort of visualizing themselves having (which can feel almost like dysphoria? More or less distressing depending on the part, but it leads to things sometimes like being surprised our hair is long, or when it was short, pushing back hair that isn't there,) things like posture can def differ. Sometimes certain body sensations feel different, or somatic symptoms differ. Like, a lot of us get headaches when we're stressed out but Tomas usually gets stomachaches instead for some reason. Sometimes we're surprised how clumsy or not clumsy we are, but that usually happens when someone is co-fronting with someone else.

Our tastes (in the literal sense) also differ LOL. Seba likes chocolate ice cream/cake and I can't stand it. Our tolerance for spicy food definitely differs, and our favorite or go-to comfort foods vary.

Sometimes small parts can be surprised by how big our body feels, or parts that feel taller are surprised when we're shorter than most people. I think that might be why I'm really bad at "eyeballing" what clothes might fit me. That's just a theory though.

Sometimes it's literally just a vibe IDK how else to describe it. Hess makes movement feel very floaty, I feel much more aware of my body when Tomas is around, that kind of thing.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Unexpected Places (Pt. 03 of 11)

Pairing: Ivar the Boneless X Reader/Bjorn X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: As a princess, you've lived in a golden cage all your life, always a piece on someone else's game. But everything changed when the Norsemen came crushing down on Wessex, like waves in a violent storm. Their king spared your life and decided to take you with him to his kingdom, in what felt more like a rescue than a kidnapping. There, you were not only confronted with a completely different culture and lifestyle, but also with two of his sons. The oldest one has his eyes set on you, but it's the youngest one, Ivar, who gets who claimed your attention since the first sight. And he seems to have an unnamed interest in you. Of course you hoped whatever that was would pass, but when unexpected feelings start to flow a different way, things begin to change.

<- Previous part (02)

Next part (04)->

{Vikings Masterlist}

×

Icy Blue Eyes

For the first time in your life, you're wearing pants. And you don't feel less of a woman because of it, as they used to say in Wessex. Your upperbody is protected by a leather vest, Aslaug's idea since she doesn't like the idea of you trying to learn how to fight. You feel a little badass though, dressed like this, with your hair all braided up, away from your face. Hvitserk is already waiting for you, laughing at something this guy said. When he sees you, he quickly dismisses him, making his way to the middle of the open area.

“You look good. Ready to have your ass kicked a couple of times?” He says, a bright smile on his lips. He's having too much fun, but you must cut that off before you get badly hurt.

“Hvitserk, you gotta go easy on me, alright?” Raising both your hands at him, you tilt your head at the small deck behind you, where Aslaug will be. “Aslaug told me to pass it on to you that if you hurt me today, she'll wipe the floor with your face.”

He squints his eyes at you, taking a quick look at the deck. “Did she really–”

“No.” You burst out, giggling. “But really, I'm not used to it and I'm nowhere as strong as the women here so...” A man comes and hands both you and Hvitserk a sword and a shield before moving away. “Don't beat me up.”

“First of all, I was joking.” He starts, suddenly taking your sword away and throwing it on the ground. “Let's begin with some basic defense. I'll attack you, and you'll have to block me with the shield. It'll help you understand the amount of strength you'll need and how to avoid being cut down to pieces, alright?”

“Alright.” Fixing the shield on your arm, you hold it with both hands, keeping it in front of your body.

“I'll attack you from different directions so pay attention.”

“Alright.” When he starts to pace around, you do the same. You're on full alert, your eyes on the arm he's holding the sword. It doesn't take much time until he moves, bring the metal down on you. Thankfully, you think fast enough to lift the shield to protect your head, and the impact isn't as strong as you were expecting, so you managed to stay your ground. Hvitserk is holding back, obviously, and you're grateful he's being gentle.

“Good. You're fast.” He exclaims, and you giggle when you pull the shield down, staring at him. “I'll strike harder on each blow, alright? So keep in mind the next one will be worse. Protect your head and sides.”

Nodding, you're soon attacked many times. And he wasn't joking about that. Every hit is harder than the last, and you have to alternate between your skull and torso since the blows come from different angles. It doesn't take much until you start being pushed backward, and for some reason it makes you laugh.

Never in your life, you thought you'd be doing something like this. In a place like this, with people like this. They aren't mindless monsters, they're just people. They laugh, and love, and care about others. And, God, they live. They yell, and run, and fight. They're not restricted by some stupid made up rules. For you, right now, this is what means to be a Viking. To be free to do what you want, go where you want, be with who you want.

This is paradise on Earth, it doesn't matter how weird things still look in your eyes. As Hvitserk hits again, making you stumble back, a laugh escapes your lips as you realize you won't ever go back. Not even if Aethelwulf sent an army to rescue you. You wouldn't even consider it.

“Everything alright over there?” Hvitserk asks, and, still laughing, you lower the shield so he can see your face. He looks very confused but smiles anyway.

“Yeah, it's just...” Gasping, you shrug your shoulders. “This is crazy, you know? This is freedom. I'm doing this because I want to and if I want to stop, I will. And nobody will come and say I should or shouldn't do it.” Running a hand through your hair, you push some loose strands away from your face. “I feel great. My arm already hurts, but I feel–” You're cut short by another blow, quickly raising the shield again to block it. And another laugh escapes. “Shit, that was tough.” Regaining your balance, you mutter.

“Your reflexes are very–”

“This is not how you do it, little brother.” Bjorn's voice cuts in, and both you and Hvitserk turn to look at him. “If you want to teach her, do it properly.” He quickly takes a sword, walking fast over you. “Focus on your legs. Stand your ground.” He's barely even done speaking when the sword comes crashing down.

The same moment you raise the shield, his sword connects with the wood. But it's way too strong, and you're caught by surprise. You feel the shield slipping and hitting your head as you stumble down, falling on your ass. Using one arm to sustain the seated position, you close your eyes tight when you feel like the whole world is spinning insanely fast, and you feel what can only be blood flowing out. Throwing the shield away, you feel arms around you, and a voice slowly breaking into your head.

“(Y/N), talk to me. Hey.” A snap makes you open your eyes again, finding Hvitserk crouching before you. “There you are. Can you stand up?”

“Yeah.” You notice some people gathering around, so, despite the headache and the dizziness, you push yourself up, holding onto his arm for support.

“(Y/N), I didn't mean to–”

“To crack my head open? Yeah, I bet.” Cutting him off, you give Bjorn a look, raising a hand at him when he tries to approach, making him stop.

“Let's get you some water.” Hvitserk guides you away from the crowd, to a half construction near the deck. Lucky for Bjorn Aslaug isn't here yet, or else you're sure she'd lash out at him.

“That was certainly a show.” The voice makes you roll your eyes, and it shoots a sharp pain through your skull. Ivar's giggle makes you even angrier, but you can deal with it later.

He's seated on a piece of wood right beside the table with some buckets filled with water. “Here.” Hvitserk gives you a cup and you take a few sips from it. “I'll get something to clean the blood. Are you alright standing on your own?”

“I'm fine.” Nodding, you watch as he quickly disappears behind a corner, putting the cup down, and closing your eyes when you feel dizzy again. Using the table as a support, you feel your body falling, unable to sustain its weight.

You're ready to collapse on the floor when you feel hands grabbing you, tightly holding your waist. It takes a while until you notice it's Ivar, and when you use his shoulders to support yourself, your face ends up too close to his, close enough to feel his breath. His eyes, ice blue, in a shade you didn't even know existed, burn right through you, and... It takes you by surprise how Ivar doesn't push you away, violently, as you were expecting. Instead, it feels like everything slows down, and you stay there, balance regained, but his hands still holding you.

“Everything alright?” Hvitserk's voice snaps you out of it, and you awkwardly step away from Ivar, moving towards the table.

“Yeah, I'm alright.” Nodding you watch as he damps the small piece of fabric on one of the buckets before starting to clean up the blood. But when he starts to get closer to the wound, you start moving away. “Ouch!”

“Stop flinching.” He tells you.

“Yeah, stop flinching,” Ivar repeats, and you feel his hand on the small of your back, forcing you to stand still.

Roling your eyes before closing them, you decide to ignore it for now. But what you just can't ignore is how his touch burns, making itself known, felt, it doesn't matter how hard you try to pretend he's not there. It takes way too much time until Hvitserk is done, putting the fabric down and giving a better look at the wound.

“Well, it's not as bad as I thought it would be, but–”

“What happened?” Aslaug comes out of nowhere, pushing Hvitserk away and cupping your face, angry eyes scanning through the injury.

“Bjorn showed up.” He answers as you use the table to balance yourself when you feel dizzy once more. “He hit her so hard that the shield went right to her head.”

“He will listen to me. Come. You need to lie down.”

You were going to just walk, but the moment you move away from the table you feel yourself falling again, so you grab Hvitserk's arm, and you don't even have to ask him, he puts an arm around your waist to help you get moving again.

It still takes you by surprise to know Aslaug actually likes you. She makes her slaves have this patch made with some herbs to help the healing process and forces you to stay in bed for a while. The headache makes it easy to just do as she says.

The bad part is that there's pretty much only one thing in your head, and it's not how pissed you are at Bjorn. It's Ivar. Maybe the hit on your head is driving you crazy after all, but you swear he was... Different. Not anger as he usually seems. It takes two days until the headache starts to surrender, and you decide to spend another one in the calmness of your bedroom with no company other than Aslaug, who's often talking about her husband and their issues, or Hvtiserk, who comes to check on you at least once a day. He started to teach you to play Hnefatafl, and you soon learned your way around the game, even beating him a couple of times. The only reason why Bjorn hasn't come is that the Queen forbade him, and you don't mind that at all. He's the last person you want to see right now.

But then, it's time to finally leave the bedroom, only the ghost of the pain hovers over. It's almost time for dinner, and you're already hungry. Walking through the place, you find Hvitserk and Ubbe chatting, and they both look up from their drinks when they see you.

“Look who decided to show up,” Ubbe exclaims. “Feeling better?”

“Very much. I really enjoy walking without feeling dizzy.” Moving to the table, one that hangs from the ceiling by four sets of chains, you take a cup and the jar, pouring some drink for yourself before passing it to the guys. “Actually, I kinda need to steal your brother for a while, Ubbe. I need to talk about something.” Carefully not to make anything fall, you push yourself up, seating on the table and feeling as it softly swings.

“It's alright. Gotta get some stuff done before supper anyways.” Ubbe sighs and gets up, taking long sips straight from the jar. Then, he gives the now empty thing to his brother and leaves.

“So.” You start, taking a deep breath. “Take a chair and sit here.” Moving further to the center of the table, you tap the space on the wood on your left. “The last thing I need is anyone else listening.”

Hvitserk makes a face at you, squinting his eyes before getting to his feet and grabbing a chair, placing it on the place you gestured. “Is it some plan to kill Bjorn?”

“What? No.” Shaking your head, you suddenly realize what you're about to say. And for a moment you reconsider. But if you don't get this out, it'll keep annoying you. And Hvitserk will probably say you're getting everything wrong, so you'll let it go. “It's not about Ragnar's oldest son... It's about the youngest.” Lowering your voice, you stare at him, taking in the low giggle as he looks down at his hands.

“I knew it.”

“No, you didn't. Now shut up and listen.” Moving to playfully punch his arm, the table swings. Hvitserk nods with a dramatic eye-roll, holding the piece of wood to make it stop. “I... May be going crazy, but when you left me with Ivar that day, I felt dizzy and almost fell.” Looking down at your cup, you drum your fingers on the top of it. “And, I don't know, it felt... Weird.” The memory comes back, and for a moment you can feel his hands again, around your waist.

“Define weird.”

“A good kind of weird.” You mutter, drinking what's left and putting it down beside you. “He looked at me, and damn it, Hvitserk, it didn't felt like he hated me or something.” Whispering, you lean closer to him. “I've been trying not to think about it, but I that's everything I think about. Am I crazy?”

Hvitserk seems thoughtful for a while, and when you're just about to ask him to say something, he looks up at you. “Ivar's normal behavior would be to let you fall. Then he'd laugh.”

“Well, I didn't fall and he didn't laugh. So.”

“I don't know.” He shrugs his shoulders. “He hasn't mentioned you to me yet, which is a surprise by itself. I was expecting him to give me a hard time since we're kinda like friends now.”

Good. Neither of you can understand Ivar. “Great. Nobody knows what the hell is going on.”

“Am I getting this wrong or do you like Ivar?” Hvitserk leans backward, crossing his arms and resting his back on the chair.

“No...?” It sounds like a question as you mirror his position, arms crossed. “I mean, he's... Handsome...” Blushing, you look away. “I noticed that I'm not blind. But it doesn't mean I like him.”

“Who is it you like?” The other voice makes you turn to the hall immediately, watching as Bjorn comes from the main hall, pushing the leather curtains away.

Taking a deep breath, you jump to the floor, holding the chains to make the table stop swinging and then fixing everything that you dropped. “What do you want? Try to crack my skull open again?” Hvitserk hands you two cups that fell on his lap.

“I hope you can forgive me.” Bjorn comes over you, standing only a foot away, a hand grabbing one of the chains sustaining the table. “I thought you wanted to learn and–”

“I wanted to know how to defend myself and I was having a good time until you showed up.” Eager to put some distance between you two, you walk around Hvitserk, who's looking down, pretending as if he's not here. “I don't enjoy being hurt.”

“But in a real situation, you'd–”

“It wasn't a real situation, alright?” Running a hand through your hair, you feel your head getting a little worse.

“I'll leave you two to talk,” Hvitserk mutters as he stands up, giving Bjorn a look before disappearing somewhere behind you.

“That was the first time in my life that I got to hold a shield. You can't possibly think I had the strength or ability to deal with a stroke like that.” With both hands on your hip, something gets your attention. Entering the main hall, you see Ivar, standing this time, walking with the aid of a clutch. You don't know why you're biting the inside on your cheek to suppress a smile. Why do you want to smile in the first place?

“It's just that you look like one of us now and I forget that you're a Christian princess.” Bjorn's voice makes you look at him again, but it takes a while for you to bring sense to his words.

There are a lot of things you could say. That it's not about being a princess, or that you're not trying to look like them. But you don't feel like extending this argument. “Alright, Bjorn. I forgive you. Just leave the training to Hvitserk.”

“That's fine by me.” He nods, a small smile on his lips. The truth is that Bjorn didn't do that on purpose, this is just their way, and you're the one who's not used to it yet. So you feel good forgiving him after all.

“Alright.”

“But now, who were you talking about with Hvitserk?”

“Oh, that was just–”

“You two,” Ragnar calls from the main hall. “Come eat.”

You want to hug him for interrupting this conversation, so you immediately follow him, settling down next to the fire. Today it's just Ragnar's family, and at first, you do feel like an intruder. But with time, as they include you in the conversations, you feel better. You even tell a little about yourself, about your life in Wessex. It doesn't take much for you to feel Ivar's eyes on you. You try hard not to look too much, but it's like a freaking battle. Those blue eyes have some kind of power, and it's difficult to resist.

“And so it'll be until the twilight of the gods,” Ubbe says and everyone laughs, but you don't, unable to remember what they were talking about.

“Ragnarok,” Bjorn exclaims.

“Until Ragnarok. That asshole won't be coming back here.” By the tone of his voice, it sounds like there was a fight. Aslaug told you about a man that came into town, stealing and destroying things. Ubbe must have taught him a lesson.

“Ragnarok.” You mutter to yourself, playing with your empty cup.

“As if you knew anything about it.” Ivar sounds a little pissed, and you honestly don't understand why. “Don't speak as if you do.”

Chuckling, you stretch your arm, hand hovering above the flames. “There will be three severe winters.” You start, and for some reason, probably given the nature of the subject, a silence falls on. “And summers of black sun.” Retrieving your hand when it gets too hot, you fix your eyes on Ivar. You already had enough of him teasing you, and it happens that you know exactly what Ragnarok is. “Those will certainly be terrible times, and Jörmungandr, the world serpent will come lurching from the ocean, bringing up the tides until they flood the entire world.” Smiling, you lean forward, elbows on the table. Slowly, Ivar does the same, those powerful eyes not leaving yours. It feels like there's nobody else here, just you and him. “Fenrir will break loose of his invisible chains and the sky will open, so Surt, the fire giant can come, blazing through the bridge to face and crush the gods. Odin will come to battle one last time against the wolf Fenrir, and Thor will fight the serpent. He will kill it but die from its venom. And at last... The giant wolf Fenrir will swallow the sun, and the world will be forever in darkness.” Your lips break into a smile, and, at the same time, Ivar's lips do the same. He looks at you the same way he did a few days ago, only more intense. It's like he sees you now. “This is Ragnarok.” You add, voice barely a whisper.

“Perfect,” Ivar mutters, and everyone finally starts moving again.

“How did you learn all that?” Aslaug asks as Ragnar fills her cup once again.

“I was allowed to learn about your culture. Language, traditions.” Shrugging your shoulders, you feel when Hvitserk kicks your leg under the table, so you glance at him. Discreetly, he tilts his head towards Ivar, and you can't help but look straight at him. He's staring.

“That's interesting. But it feels like you're not really paying much attention to what we're saying, are you, Princess (Y/N)?” Aslaug holds back a smile, and by the look on her face, she knows exactly what's going on. And that's good, perhaps she can explain it to you later.

“Uhm...” Your eyes fall on one of the jars, which you know it's empty. “I'll get some more.” Moving quickly, before Aslaug can send one of her slaves, you grab the jar and walks to the kitchen. The girls there help you out, refilling the jar. But it happens way too fast, so you decide to go outside for a while, breathing in the cold night air.

Raising your head to look at the night sky, you take a deep breath, closing your eyes. But when you do, it's Ivar you see, his ice blue eyes shining against the darkness. Something is going on with you, and you wish you could understand. If you were as sure as you were before that Ivar absolutely hates you, I'd be easier. But now... You don't know anymore.

×

@multific @revolution-starter @crackhead1-800 @youbloodymadgenius @clown-boyyy @kitten0394 @castielsangelx-blog @goldlion07 @midnightmystic @readsalot73 @xvxcarolinexvx @momowhoo @fangfoxy @msrawog @walkingonshunshine @alytavzla

[killjoysfromyesterday]

my first prompt for bad things happen bingo! excited for this!

@badthingshappenbingo

pneumonia - kobra kid

word count: 1,218

i’m truly sorry, i don’t know how to do a read more cut on mobile, i’d really appreciate if someone taught me : (

——————

it started as just dust allergies. a common cold. something like that, something that he didn't even pay attention to.

but before he had a chance to speak up and get himself sorted out, the coughing and the chills peaked and left him all hollow inside.

jet had mother-henned him into going to bed early, after the firepit left him sneezing and coughing like ghoul after a bad cigarette. he couldn't tell what time it was now; probably morning by the light peaking through the girl-proofed (see also: boarded up) windows in the bedroom. the heat of the day was creeping in, settling like a fog even indoors. it just added to his lethargy.

with a heaving sigh, he kicked the blankets from his gangly limbs and rolled over, grunting as his shirt stuck to him with cold sweat. his red jacket was draped across the edge of the mattress, probably set there by poison.

and speak of the devil, the door creaks open and the light pitter-patter of poison's footsteps fill the room. kobra tries his best to sit up for him, because maybe if he pretends not to be sick anymore they'll all stop mother-henning him and let him go to the crash track, but scooting up sends him into another coughing fit.

kobra's dizzy when his lungs finally decide to cooperate, and he slumps back against the nest of pillows poison had propped up for him.

“your fever isn't letting up." poison comments, hand cool against kobra's forehead. their eyebrows are stitched together like they always do when they're worried, and somehow it just makes kobra feel worse.

"have you been drinking water?" poison's voice cuts through his thoughts, and he shakes his head, which absolutely does not help the headache that's forming in the crown of his skull. his sinuses feel like they're going to explode and shit, he just wants to fall back asleep.

his eyes must've fallen closed because he didn't even notice that poison left the room until they reappear a few minutes later wielding a rag and a bottle of water. his throat's so dry it's hard to swallow, but the effort of sitting up to drink sounds fucking impossible.

poison unscrews the cap and sits down next to the mattress, helping kobra grip the bottle. their hand is beneath kobra's face as he drinks, catching the inevitable drops of water that roll down his chin.

"i know, kobes. just a couple more sips, okay? then you can go back to sleep, i promise. scout's honor." poison says when kobra starts to pull away, scrunching his face up at the taste. clean water's hard to get in the desert, and the treated shit always had that sour taste left over from the treatment formula. but to appease poison he takes a few more tentative sips and poison doesn't fight when he pulls away this time.

"where's everyone?" kobra asks as he lies back, half lowering-half flopping himself back onto the linens.

"jet’s with mads on his day off. the girl’s out with ghoul, they went to drop some stuff off to doc and pony. why?" poison says, pouring the remainder of the water bottle onto the rag.

"i promised her we'd go to the track today." kobra lets out a sigh of relief when poison sets the rag on his forehead, the cool cloth seeping into the heat of his fever. it doesn't last very long, but it feels better than before with the warmth of the desert baking into the room like a fucking sauna.

"it's alright. you can go some other time." poison smiles.

"i feel bad." kobra chews on the inside of cheek.

"why?"

"feel like i'm lettin' her down." he mumbles.

"kobes. you're not. she understands. she's old enough to get this stuff now." poison's words are reassuring but kobra's still not sure if girl would understand. they'd been planning this trip for days now.

"i guess so." he sighs, and tries to think of a way he could make it up to her later.

"we're home!" ghoul's voice rings through the diner, and a second later a weight slams into kobra's chest like a ton of bricks and sends him coughing again. the girl's hair rubs up against his chin as she settles herself on his chest. thank witch she's still snuggly, because with how independent she's getting, it hurts to see her need them less and less. it's all part of growin' up though, as jet would say.

"careful, girly. kobes isn't feelin' too shiny." poison warns. the girl edges off of him a little bit, her little face scrunching with concern.

kobra turns to ghoul. "how were doc and pony?"

"they're alright. you know doc, summer always makes his legs ache in that chair. pony's good." ghoul, much like the girl, attaches himself to his comfort person as soon as he gets home: he's slinking into poison's lap, nuzzling his face into poison's neck. poison wraps their arms around him, and ghoul makes a pleased nose that kobra's pretty sure is as close as a human gets to purring.

"i'm sorry we can't go today, baby." kobra sighs, and the girl climbs off of him a little bit to look at him.

"it's okay. you're sick." she claps her hands. "oh! and since jet isn't here to be doctor, i'll help you. first, let's assess your diagnostics."

"diagnosis." ghoul corrects, and poison nudges him. the girl just giggles.

"yeah! and then we'll work down to the root of your problem, and, oh, can we use those cool bandaids from the market?" she gives her best puppy eyes to poison, who relents (of course.)

"sure, but just one. no wasting." they say, and girl's rocketing out of the room, her swift footsteps disappearing in the direction of the kitchen.

"see? told you she wouldn't be upset. kid takes it in stride." poison says, resting their head on ghoul's shoulder. ghoul's already dozing off, and kobra's about to be right there with him, because all this exertion has him all dizzy and sleepy again.

the girl's back wielding a box of colorful bandaids, and she carefully plucks a yellow one and peels off the backing. she sticks it on kobra's forehead, sitting back to survey her work.

“there. don’t you feel so much better?” she asks.

“i feel so good, i feel like i could run all the way to tommy’s now.” kobra takes extra effort to make his voice as enthusiastic as possible, even if it’s scratchy and a bit unconvincing.

“woah! that far?” the girl asks, eyes wide.

“yeah, that far. but for now, i’m real tired.” kobra yawns.

“okay. but promise that we’ll race to tommy’s sometime? promise?” she

“pinky swear.” kobra says, locking his pinky with hers.

“alright girly, let’s let kobes get some shut-eye.” poison interrupts, tapping a now-sleeping ghoul who makes a noise of complaint as he rises from poison’s lap. the girl springs up from kobra’s bed, trotting over to where poison was opening the door.

“night-night kobra.” she whispers, following poison out. poison chuckles as they close the door behind them.

kobra falls back into his doze with a smile on his face and a bandaid on his forehead.

_________

[daydreamingintheimpalax]

The Frat house

Prompt: “isn’t is fascinating? you don't even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt.” 

Dean X reader ( Dean is 20, Reader and Sam are 16).

Warnings: Um, none? I don't think.

Dean Winchester was a royal pain in your ass. His smart mouth and sassy one liners made you want to punch his pretty face in. Most of the time, you could avoid him, ignore him and just hang out with Sam who was much more chill and cool. You were thankful you only ever had to see the oldest Winchester once in a while when his father didn't need him on a hunt. 

Sadly, tonight wasn't one of those nights. Your father and John had gone off on a hunt with some other hunters, it was going to be a day or two and sadly, Dean hadn't tagged along with them, John and your father insisted he stay behind and keep you and Sam out of trouble. Little did they realize most of the time, Dean ended up being bigger trouble than either of you two. 

You heard the light knock on your bedroom door, you'd opted to stay in your room for most of the night, hoping they'd think you were on your period and leave you alone. You felt bad not hanging out with Sam, but you really didn't want to be annoyed by Dean. That boy could give you a brutal migraine in less than 10 minutes. 

You got up from your bed, abandoning your latest journal entry before opening the door. There stood Dean, a half smirk on his pretty face dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. 

“Ugh, what do you want, Winchester?” you rolled your eyes, making your way back over to your bed.

“You should be nicer, y/n. Boys would like you better if you didn't have such a bad attitude.” He speaks, making you gag.

“Ah, yes, my mission in life, to please all the boys.” You mock him, rolling your eyes yet again before prying as to what the hell he wanted from you. 

“So? To what reason do I owe your presence?” you sass him and he smirks again. 

“Sammy and I are going to go have some fun, taking the kid to his first college party, you in?” He winks, your eyes wide as you squint at him. 

“Sam and I are 16, there's no way we can get in to a college party.” You shrug, shaking your head at his idiotic idea. He clicks his tongue and laughs.

“Who’s going to know? Sam will probably go unnoticed, and you can put on something skimpy, do your makeup and you pass for 18 tops, ain't no one going to question you.” He eyes you up and down and you punch his arm. 

“Owww, what the hell!” He shouts, rubbing his arm. “That’s for being a pervert, and no, I'm not going to whore myself out just to go to some college party with you, besides, our dads told us to stay put, I ain't about to break the rules, your dad will kill you if he finds out.” You raise an eyebrow, making your way over to your bed. 

“He won't if he doesn't know about it, we'll be back way before they will, and I never said whore yourself out, though, I'm sure a night of fooling around with some guy would adjust that stick up your ass. We're going, come, stay, I don't care but you got 15 minutes to decide or we're leaving.” He states, winking at you before shutting the door behind him. 

You hated Dean Winchester. Well, maybe hate was a strong word, you really heavily disliked him. He was a constant pain in your ass, a headache that seemed to never go away. However, you wondered if maybe he was right. You had only ever had sex with your ex, and that had ended last year, you could use a night out, and a hot college guy could possibly just be what you needed and just like Dean said, no one would know you weren't 18. 

You sighed, not believing the idiot outside had actually convinced you this was a good idea. Taking his advice, you got dressed in your “sexiest” dress, a simple black one that always enhanced your curves and paired it with your favorite red pumps, you put some effort into your makeup, a dark Smokey eye and a bold red lip, your winged liner perfected after years of practice. Dean was right, at this rate, no one would question your age. 

You met the boys by the front door, Dean throwing on his dad's old leather jacket that was twice his size as he headed over towards you, maybe one day he'd grow into the coat. 

Sam's cheeks turned a shade of red as he complimented your look. You smiled politely as you thanked him. Sam was always the more gentlemanly of the two. When Dean finally noticed you, he smirked, letting out a wolf whistle as he passed you towards the impala.

“You clean up nice y/n, if you weren't practically my little sister I'd take you home myself.” He chuckles, smacking your ass as he passes you. You let out a squeal and it makes him chuckle before you let out an annoyed groan. 

“You’re such a pig, as if I'd ever go to bed with you, who know's what you've contracted.” Once again rolling your eyes at him in distaste. “You roll your eyes a lot y/n, one day you're going to get stuck like that, also, I'm not stupid, I use condoms and always get tested.” Dean smirks, biting his lower lip before throwing himself into the drivers seat, unknowingly to him just how much he affects you. Maybe that's why you tried to hate him so bad, you refused to admit the older Winchester got to you, making you flushed most of the time you spent around him. 

“And you talk too much Winchester, I mean seriously, do you ever stop talking.” You sass, throwing him a fake smile. He winks in return, “Only when I'm using my mouth for other things.” He stares back at you from the rear view, making a motion with his hand and tongue to signify what he means. 

“Can you two stop, this whole conversation is becoming gross. Let's just go.” Sam pipes up, blushing more than he should. “Don't worry, Sammy. One day you'll learn, my little virgin brother.” Dean chuckles, ruffling Sam's hair. 

“I’m not a virgin, I just don't announce it to everyone so explicitly.” Sam grits, trying to avoid you hearing. “Yeah yeah, sure thing sammy.” Dean smirks and soon enough he's driving off. 

You'd been at this party for three hours and had yet to find a decent human to talk to. Sam had wandered off over an hour ago with a cute petite brunette who seemed very fond of him, you had a feeling she'd be dragged here too, and Dean, well, Dean was around flirting with every girl who would give him the time of day. His cheesy pick up lines failing most of the time, sometimes you wondered how in the hell Dean got as much action as he did, his lines were usually horrible. 

You took a sip of your beer, people watching as a bunch of jocks screamed and yelled, doing keg stands, a group of girls stood off to the sides, some of them eyeing the jocks and giggling to each other. 

“You look a little lonely.” A voice booms out over the music and you turn, coming face to face with a cute blonde haired guy, he's wearing a muscle shirt that's probably one size to big, a pair of Jean's that aren't baggy but not fitted either. He's got a beer in his hand and he's smiling softly at you.

“Just checking out the scene. This isn't a bad party.” You shrug, sipping from your red Solo cup. He chuckles. “Yeah, Rick always throws the best parties, everyone literally shows up. So how come your not with your friends? You go here right?” He asks making conversation, and your brain works overtime to come up with something. 

The conversation between you and what you now knew was the guy named Eric and that he was 18, had flowed nicely and before you knew it, you'd spent the last 20 minutes taking shots with him and now here you were, pressed up against the kitchen island as he kissed you, his lips soft and warm, he smelled like fireball but you didn't care, you just wanted to be kissed, having almost forgotten what it was like to make out with a cute guy. He pulls away, smiling at you, breathing heavily as he speaks. 

“I’ll be right back, gonna check if any rooms are clear.” He states before shooting you a wink, you pull some hair behind your ear and bite your bottom lip, smiling at him nervously, suddenly not sure you wanted to be here.

You turn around, ready to grab your solo cup and refresh yourself when you come face to face with Dean. He's on the other side of the island, leaning over on it with his elbows, drink in his hand and he's smirking at you, he raises and eyebrow and before he speaks, you groan. He shoots you a shrug.

“What? I didn't say anything.” He speaks up, smiling stupidly at you. 

“ Isn’t is fascinating? you don't even have to open your mouth to make my head hurt.” You spit out, already annoyed with him. He laughs. 

“You having fun?” he asks and he seems genuinely concerned. “Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Thanks, you were right I needed this.” You give him a soft smile before you start to bite your lip, eyebrows furrowing. 

Dean watches you carefully, noticing the mood change. “You okay?” he asks and you pipe back up, letting go of your lip as you shake yourself back to reality, “Yeah, yeah i’m good it's just uh....he asked me to go upstairs, he's older and I uh- um, you know what, nevermind.” You shake you head, taking a giant sip out of your cup. 

“Y/n, if you're not comfortable, say no. Point blank, and if tries anything else, call me. I'll deal with it. You don't have to have sex if you don't want to, okay?” He assures you, and you take a deep breath. 

“Yeah, I know, thanks Dean.” He shoots you a small nod, and it's the first time you've seen him have your back, full support with no judgement or jokes or inappropriate remarks. 

“I know, uh, I know I can be a dick sometimes and I annoy the hell out of you, but I need you to know when it comes down to it, I got your back, y/n. Always.” He smiles, you give him a small smile back, moving around the island to get closer to him, you lean up using your tip toes to get closer to his height, placing a small peck on his cheek. 

“Thanks Dean, You're not always so bad.” You smirk, before leaving him to his night, making your way over to the dancefloor. 

Dean watches you for a bit, smiling as he watches you laugh when that frat boy joins you, it was nice to see you having a good time and letting loose. He would never admit it, it wasn't like him to be so attracted to someone he'd known all his life or feel for someone so much, but you had always been different. 

He kept his distance for the most part, he wasn't stupid, you were 16, and it wouldn't be in his best interest or smart to make a move, plus John would kill him, you were still underage, but maybe eventually, when you turned 18, maybe he'd consider doing something about the dreams that woke him up every night sweaty and heated. 

One day, you'd see he wasn't as annoying as you thought. For tonight, he'd have to settle for watching you from afar, knowing damn well he’d be going home alone yet again. 

[artemidian]

okay so first of all i did make bruschetta! my stomach kinda hurts now but like. it was still pretty good. idk i still feel like i shouldn't have and the more i think about it the more i'm like. that was a Bad Idea. if you can't tell i really do have some sort of issues <3. idk who will eat it all now tho cause it's a lot. i did eat a lot tho too so like. man idk. now i wanna go and move because i hate sitting after i eat but i don't have anywhere to go. my friend wanted to watch a movie so now we're doing a netflix party but like. idk it's not anything i'm interested in.

anyways the other paragraphs:

my sleep schedule is always a mess. i sleep best when i'm full on exhausted and there's not much exhaustion going on rn. that's why i load up my schedule during the school year (the year before this past, i was at my school from 7:30 to 8-10 pm all the time). i hope you can avoid any new burn outs, those are never fun. as for my sinuses—i've always had sinus problems. i used to have infections when i was little often (i once was on antibiotics for one for 40 days lmfao). and sinuses go hand in hand with migraines actually so. yeah. it's a normal thing and i usually can't move my eyes around too much or i get pain/headaches. i wake up with that pretty much everyday, usually sharp pain around my eyes, but today just my entire head hurt and my sinuses were just. yeah. no eye movement today ! my neck just started hurting too so that's the migraine setting in lol

also my nose is still hurt but i can't really do anything about it. i just hope it'll pass

and pre cal, rn it's vectors. not that difficult, but i have certain things (writing, tumblr, now pre cal) that just make me anxious at the thought of doing them. idk. it'll be fine

and my list won't be entirely unattainable. mostly just like. fix myself physically (i want stronger hip muscles, arms, etc.). figure out my hair, fix this shit on my arms, find shoes, find new clothes, etc etc. just that sort of thing.

and that doesn't sound fun. try hot water/shower/bath and massaging the area. and use some sort of cream/something to put on it (can't think of the proper terminology). and the hand thing sounds really painful omg. i hope it gets better soon. you have time today so you should relax, and i'm happy your meds + productivity have been good! that's always nice

once again response under the cut–

yay bruschetta! hopefully after you give yourself a bit of time to digest your stomach will hurt less? idk though, everyone's different. and idk if your neighborhood is safe to walk in, but if it is you could go for a short walk? i live in like. okay so it's technically a village. in the woods. but that makes me sound like i'm a medieval peasant so uh. long story short i can go for walks but idk about you– i feel like i remember you mentioning that your area wasn't very safe at one point. either way i hope you feel a bit better :(

with exhaustion: okay not to be *that* person but i'll tell you what my doctor told me my freshman year? sophomore year? it was basically along the lines of "your brain is still developing please stop teaching it that stress = good living conditions and start teaching yourself to work/sleep better" so. lmao and here i am djfhsfkjsd but yeah burn out is not fun but it'll probably happen again soon. i'm still not fully back from the last school year and just with things going on right now in my life it's just kind of– on the horizon lol.

yeah i knew a bit about sinuses because my sister tells me Migraine Facts from time to time and that was one of them. idk any condition where normal means functioning while in pain is hell, im sorry babe. i never know what to say but like. i'm sensitive lol. and i hope that your nose gets better and that whatever's wrong with it isn't too severe.

yeah i understand that. i usually try to break it down into the smallest bits possible to make it seem manageable. and at least you're on break with writing, so you don't have to think about it. you can always take a break from tumblr if you need it babe.

and yeah just make sure you keep your goals manageable, yknow? ambition and gentleness can co-exist, if that makes sense.

and YEAH my hand hurts this sucks. it's not that bad but yeah. because there's no way for it to not be in pain right now– because it's on my dominant hand, anytime i move my hand to do anything it pulls at it. i have a bandage on it but it's in a really inconvenient place to bandage? and i was going to take a shower to help with the soreness but it hurts my hand so <\3 and i wanted to workout today but i'm too sore, which is frustrating. but it's probably good that i can't right now for reasons but still. there was some stuff that i just wanted to mess around with, like some old choreo, but my entire body hurts so i'm just resting today. i was going to just daydream + write down notes on those daydreams but like. i have absolutely no ideas at the moment. @ the universe please give me new ced ideas <3 my brain is dead <3 also the "e" "l" "w" "k" and "j" keys on my laptop stopped working halfway through that sentence so i've got to switch to my phone and also figure that out now ;-; i used copy and paste just to finish but i'm not going to keep doing that

[tsuyoiqueen]

shout it from the rooftops (tell them all I know) — teen!wangxian

Okay, so first of all, happy new year! I don't know if it's already January 1st where you are but as I'm posting this it's 10 P.M. so let it be said that I finished it before 2021 and will be calling this my last fic of 2020!

This is also the second fic I write for this fandom, so if you're coming from Be My Husband, thank you so much for your support! It means a lot and I hope you like this one as well!

At first, it's not a big deal. Lan Wangji couldn't describe the situation as anything but boring. 

He wasn't naive. He knew wandering through Cloud Recesses past curfew and bringing alcohol were not the only rules Wei Wuxian would break. He could tell by the look in his eyes back when they first met. Though, Lan Wangji did give him the benefit of the doubt and assumed he'd wait at least a week to resume his shenanigans. 

He was proven wrong and realized there was no limit to that thick faced guy when he caught him drinking with his brother and his friend. He had to keep an eye on him, or the next months would result in more headaches. It was bad enough he had to punish himself after letting his guard down around Wei Wuxian, the first cultivator who seemed to be on his level.

(He would never admit it out loud, but it's true, and maybe part of the reason why he remained tolerant) 

—

That night, Lan Wangji left his house an hour before curfew. He ducked behind one of the trees close to the guest disciples' quarters and guarded the place. If getting lectured by the grandmaster didn't stop Wei Wuxian, facing punishment would have even less effect. 

An hour goes past and then two, and he wonders if he's exaggerating, the shame in breaking a rule to prevent the dishonor of his clan's motto finally starts taking a toll. Confused, he slowly steps out from his hiding spot, but as soon as he starts walking towards the jingshi, he's startled into action by a noise coming from his left. 

It's faint and not enough to put anyone on alert, but Lan Wangji is no ordinary cultivator. He's sharp and wouldn't miss the slightest disruption, so he retreats and heightens his senses, even though it isn't necessary. 

A tall figure emerges from one of the guest rooms, sneaking towards the main hall. As the stranger walks, dark hair flutters in the wind, his clothes ripple. When he comes closer, Lan Wangji recognizes the white robe meant for the guest disciples. The person smiles as if he's just hit the jackpot, and though he's still far, Lan Wangji can identify the bottle in one of his hands while the other carries a sword. 

He narrows his eyes, gripping Bichen even harder. Wei Wuxian! 

Although he's already found the troublemaker, Lan Wangji stands still and waits. Wei Wuxian looks from side to side to make sure he's alone and leaps the rooftop. 

The same one from the first night, Lan Wangji notices and feels slightly intrigued about it. 

Why would Wei Wuxian come back to the place where he's been caught if he could do it far from Gusulan's scrutiny and in the safety of his quarters? It's not like he knew Lan Wangji was planning to watch him closely. As dedicated as second master Lan was, he would never barge into his room in the middle of the night. The last thing he needed was Wei Wuxian thinking he's been stalking him. 

He is not! 

He ends up spacing out and barely realizes Wei Wuxian's already comfortably sat on the roof, savoring what he knew to be a drink called Emperor's Smile. Wei Wuxian loves it. 

He seems so carefree, Lan Wangji can only furrow his eyebrows, wondering what would be the best way to approach him.

He shakes his head and dismisses that thought immediately. Why should he worry about that? He's there to bring Wei Wuxian to his uncle and make him confess he's breaking the rules, not chat him up! 

Drinking and leaving your quarters past curfew are violations of Lan clan principles. Come with me and face punishment. He mentally rehearses, regardless of his previous thoughts. 

He heads for the roof, floating calmly, and stares coldly at Wei Wuxian after landing. "Drinking and leaving your quarters past curfew are violations of Lan clan principles. Come with me and face punishment." 

Wei Wuxian's so shocked he almost drops the bottle, frowning while he balances his drink in one hand and uses the other to pat his chest, like he's soothing his heart, "Aiya, Lan Zhan! You surprised me! That was good! You almost made me drop my drink again! Though we wouldn't want that, right? After all, you still haven't paid for that first one." 

Lan Wangji had been straightforward and clear, but Wei Wuxian hasn't shown any signs of guilt. Perhaps, he should try again, "You are breaking two rules right now. I ask you to follow me." 

For some reason, Wei Wuxian laughs, "Have mercy! Don't you think I've been punished enough after all those lashes?" He pouts. Lan Wangji can't avert his eyes for a moment.

Wei Wuxian takes his reaction as pity and rubs his back to remind him of the pain he felt. Lan Wangji isn't the kind to forget easily, but the gesture reminds him of the time spent with the other male at the Cold Pond. A shirtless Wei Wuxian asking Lan Wangji to be his friend flashes through his eyes, and he swallows. 

Wei Wuxian doesn't hide how knowing Lan Wangji isn't a complete fuddy-duddy brings him joy, grinning mischievously. He decides to press on, "Lan Zhan, how about this, why don't you drink with me tonight? If you don't want to, you can just keep me company. We're both already breaking curfew."

Lan Wangji realizes his mistake, and his aloof demeanor falters. How can he lecture Wei Wuxian if he's also in the wrong? His ancestors would be ashamed! People who think they can do as they please and expect others to follow their rules are not qualified for the title of Gusulan disciple! 

Wordless, he grips Bichen tighter and spins in his heels to go back to his room and sleep immediately. In the morning, he will confess, be punished, and stop minding Wei Wuxian's antics. If being improper is the price to rectify him, he would rather not get involved at all. 

He almost leaps away from the roof when an unknown warmth spreads throughout his hand. Dumbfounded, he looks down at his arm, looking for the source of the heat, and he sees it. 

He sees Wei Wuxian's hand wrapped around his own, his long fingers clutching Lan Wangji's palm. It'd be easy to free himself or unsheath Bichen and fly back to the ground, but he's unable to move then. 

It's embarrassing if said out loud, but it's the first time someone other than his older brother ever holds his hand. 

As the meaning of Lan Wangji's own sword's name says, he avoids worldly matters. He doesn't worry about trivialities, such as social interactions or physical contact. Polite as he is, he chooses to greet others with a graceful nod that they always return in kind. No one had ever dared to touch him without permission. 

But Wei Wuxian had already proven himself as unordinary, so it was a given that the rumors about how second master Lan was reserved and cold wouldn't affect him as much. 

Wei Wuxian whispers, "Lan Zhan." 

Lan Wangji lifts his head, analyzing the features of his companion thoroughly. Wei Wuxian tugs on his hand, and he assumes he wouldn't let go until he agrees to stay. 

It's rash, wrong, and his uncle would come close to qi-deviate if he could see him right now, but Lan Wangji delicately lowers himself and sits cross-legged on the roof. 

"..." Wei Wuxian gapes at him, and something inside Lan Wangji melts as he realizes he's astonished. Wei Wuxian's so caught off guard only then he realizes he's still holding his hand, slowly letting go. "Oh, sorry about that, Lan Zhan." 

"Mn." Lan Wangji replies, nodding. It's odd how sometimes he shows no signs of concern in bothering Lan Wangji and even so apologizes for meaningless stuff that wouldn't disturb others. 

Wei Wuxian's eyes brighten. It's the first time Lan Wangji talked to him without disapproval in his voice.

Wei Wuxian giggles, "I knew you weren't that mean, Lan Zhan! Reconsidering my friendship proposal, huh? Nothing strengthens a relationship like sharing a drink!" 

Lan Wangji doesn't say anything, but Wei Wuxian doesn't feel discouraged, "That day when you got punished with me, your uncle looked pissed off. It's hard to read your expression because you always seem bored or annoyed, but that's just your face, right? You must've been sad after being scolded, should've just listened to me and let that night be our secret. No one would get punished." 

Lan Wangji wasn't expecting that topic, so he takes a moment to gather his thoughts, expression unfazed, "It is my duty." 

Wei Wuxian takes a long sip of his drink and scoffs, "And couldn't you take a day off or something? I didn't know you were Gusulan rules supervisor." He shakes his head, letting out a sound that Lan Wangji understands as disapproval. 

A minute passes where none of them say anything but Wei Wuxian doesn't seem to take more than that, "That's why I invited you. You were around past curfew because you thought I'd cause trouble, right?" He doesn't need to answer. "I knew as soon as you realized you're breaking a rule, you'd drag me with you and ask for punishment, but wouldn't that make your uncle angrier? Would you be okay, Lan Zhan?" 

Lan Wangji was not expecting that, "..." 

Wei Wuxian rambles on, "Back at Lotus Pier, I'm always getting punished." He takes another sip, staring intently at the bottle. "Madam Yu doesn't like me, so she finds any reason to make me kneel in the ancestral hall. It's not like I enjoy getting scolded or driving her nuts, but I'm not the kind of person who can follow the rules all the time. That's just who I am, you know?" 

Lan Wangji doesn't know. Wei Wuxian is his opposite in almost every way. Even so, he seems to be waiting for some kind of confirmation, so he nods, "Mn." 

Wei Wuxian smiles, the hairs escaping from his red ribbon flow around his face basked in moonlight. Lan Wangji stares.

"I mean to say I kinda get it why you act like this. You don't wanna let your uncle down. You want him to be proud of you, right? I also want to be someone uncle Jiang can take pride in, but I can't change my whole personality for that. He never showed any signs of wanting me to do so either, only asked me to follow the clan's motto: attempt the impossible!" 

Lan Wangji likes YunmengJiang's free spirit, and he's glad Wei Wuxian understands somehow. 

"Lan Zhan, what's the Lan clan motto?" 

Lan Wangji feels his gaze, "Be righteous." 

The laugh that comes out of Wei Wuxian could wake up half of the guest disciples if they weren't so far from their quarters. Lan Wangji frowns while Wei Wuxian keeps laughing until he has to wipe tears from his eyes when he's out of breath. 

He leaves the empty bottle aside, lifts one of his legs, and lays his head on his knee, staring directly at Lan Wangji, a smile playing on his lips, "It suits you." 

Lan Wangji can feel his ears burning, "Mn." 

[Read the rest on AO3]

[writemywaytoyourheart]

BTS Reaction: When You're Sick

Requested: yes! By @thebooksapphire thank you for the request love, I hope you like this^^

BTS Masterlist ← find all my works here lovelies~

a/n: fourth BTS reaction everyone, so guess what?: (~•.•)~.... anyways, I hope you guys like this one! I was sicky this week so I needed this 🤧 the Lord himself is the only reason I got this one done 🙏

*I do not own any of the gifs, credits go to rightful owners*

KIM SEOKJIN:

Oh. Oh no. you're beautiful sir.

"Please just let me take your temperature Princess. It'll only take a second, I promise." Jin sighs sadly when you whine and turn away from him for the third time in the past five minutes. Your husband sits there for another minute, then gently touches your shoulder and whispers into your ear, "I made some soup for you love, I know you're hungry. Just let me take it first." You stay silent, debating, and Jin smiles. You shift your body until you're facing him again, your face is sweaty and exhausted looking, he smiles at you sadly and takes a piece of your hair that was stuck to your forehead and tucks it behind your ear. There's a question in his eyes and you nod slightly, he sighs in relief and brings the thermometer past your lips, putting it under your tongue when you open your mouth.

After about twenty seconds you hear a beep and Jin takes the thermometer out, squinting at it to see the numbers.

101°F / 38.3° C

He frowns and stands up, you reach out and grab at his hand weakly, "Jin," you croak out, and he turns back to you, "where are you going?" he leans down and kisses your forehead before saying, "I'm just gonna get that soup and some medicine for you, ok love? I'll be right back." You nod and he squeezes your hand gently then sets it down and leaves the room.

A few minutes later Jin comes back in carrying a tray; a bowl, a glass of water and a bottle of medicine are sitting on top of it. He sits at the edge of the bed after setting the tray on your nightstand and helps you sit up on the pillows that he piled up for this specific reason. You've had the flu for about a day now, your husband found you yesterday when he got back from the studio, while you were in a sweaty exhausted heap on the bed. He took a few days off to help you get your health back, which you were so thankful for as he helped you move to a sitting position, seeing as you didn't think you'd be able to do it on your own at the moment.

Jin puts some pills into your hand and guides you to put them in your mouth, helping you swallow them with a drink of water. Then he spoons out some broth and starts to feed it to you–which you eat eagerly.

He smiles at you as you keep eating, not having had a decent meal in at least a day. "I love you Jin, thank you baby." Your voice is starting to come back a little and he smiles even wider, "I love you too Y/n, now keep eating, we need to get your strength up."

Jin was the most caring husband you could've ever asked for. Being sick was horrible, but when Jin was taking care of you it made it a lot more tolerable.

And you can be sure that he'll have a lot of good dad jokes up his sleeve to cheer you right up.

MIN YOONGI:

may...may I please hug you?

You reach over to the tissue box next to you miserably, taking yet another tissue out and blowing your nose for what felt like the hundredth time today. This was not how you wanted to spend your weekend at all, but you'd caught the nasty cold going around and were forced to stay at home; watching movies, blowing your nose, coughing, and wallowing in a blanket of misery and sickness.

Suddenly your phone rings and you pause the show you're watching and grab your phone. It was your fiance calling–probably because you had been avoiding all human contact for the past twenty-four hours–and he most likely thought you were dead, which you might as well be. You answer it and don't even try to sound less than miserable.

"Hello?" Your voice is cracked and broken, sounding just as bad as you feel.

"Y/n? Honey are you sick?" Yoongi's voice sounds worried on the other side of the phone and you nod tiredly, then realize he can't see you so you squeak out, "yeah I am, it's just a cold though." He's silent on the other end for a second then says, "can I come over then?" You wait another minute to answer since you started having another coughing fit, then when you can breath again you hold the phone to your ear, "no baby, I don't want you to get sick. I'll be fine in a few days." Yoongi is silent again, then you hear some movement on his side. He keeps shuffling around until finally he says, "ok baby, I'll be there in about ten minutes ok? Love you." You start to protest but he hangs up before you can get much in, "Yoongi, no. Don't co–Yoongi?" You look at the phone to see he's hung up already. You sigh and drop your phone on the couch, pulling the covers up around you even more.

A little later you hear a knock at the door. You squint at it then remember that Yoongi was coming over–somehow your fogged up brain completely forgot about that. You stand up and stumble to the door to unlock it–your legs all wobbly from not having been used for a while now. When you open the door Yoongi is met with you standing there; hair in disarray and no makeup, watery eyes and a pink nose, wrapped up in a blanket. He tries not to laugh but can't help it when a small smile slips out, you were still the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. You frown at him but open the door nonetheless to let him in, and he walks in holding a small bag. You gesture at it with your head, the only part of you not covered in a blankie, "what's in there?" He walks over to the couch and sits on the spot that isn't littered with your many a used tissues. You waddle after him and sit next to him, "I told you not to come over Yoongi, I don't want you to get sick." He just shrugs as he pulls stuff out of the bag, "does it look like I care about getting sick? I want you to get better and I don't want you to be alone. Now, here is some cold medicine, it's the best I've had, it really works. Here's some more tissues, and also some snacks to cheer you up." After he's pulled it all out he sees your eyes start to water, "you ok, Y/n? You gonna sneeze?" He shifts away a little, as if you were about to sneeze all over him, and you start to laugh then smack him, "no, you idiot. I was touched by what you did for me." He grabs your hands that are smacking him and laughs, "ok ok, sorry, now let's get this medicine into you."

After you've taken the stuff he brought for your cold you snuggle up on the couch again, and Yoongi pulls you close despite your protests. The both of you snack on the food he brought and put on the drama that you two are currently watching together.

You'd be better in a few days, but right now really wasn't too bad. Min Yoongi could always make things better for you couldn't he?

JUNG HOSEOK:

I had a rough day, this gif made everything okay again. Thank you Hobi

"Are you sure Y/n? Maybe we should take you to the doctors." Hoseok looks at you anxiously, seeing you slightly pale, curled up on the couch. You shake your head, "it's just the stomach flu Hobi, they can't do anything for me." Your boyfriend nods miserably and strokes your arm, he knows that always calms you down. You'd thrown up twice that day, but thankfully you weren't throwing up right now. You suspected it was one of those twenty-four hour tummy illnesses, and you knew you'd just have to stick it out. Going to the doctors wouldn't do much but have them confirm what you already knew, you were sick. Whenever you were sick, the best thing to help you was to distract you from the pain. So Hobi would try different things to get your mind off of it.

He'd already danced and joked around like a goofball for you and had you smiling like an idiot, but now you were both worn out. You had your eyes closed and Hobi had laid a light sheet on top of you, since you'd been switching from feeling hot to cold all day long. Earlier, Hobi had fed you some broth and had you nibble some crackers while sipping water. With a little something in your tummy you felt a bit better and now you were trying to relax while Hobi was reading a book out loud to you. His fingers brushed lightly up and down your arms as he read softly. Soon you start to drift off, but something keeps jerking you awake again. Hobi notices and sets down the book, crawling around to lay next to you, as he continues to trace patterns on your skin.

"Hobi?" he hears you whisper weakly, he moves to sit close to you but hasn't lied down yet, "yes, Jagi?" He whispers back, rubbing your shoulder gently. Your eyes are slightly open as you turn to look at him, "thank you, for everything."

He lies down next to you and whispers, "I love you baby, try to get some sleep now." His soft fingers going along your arms and the warmth of him next to you makes your eyes flutter closed once again, and soon you drift off to sleep. Hobi stays next to you while you sleep, to make sure that you don't wake up again. You don't, and eventually he starts to fall asleep as well.

He'll definitely be there when you wake up, and you can be sure he'll think of whatever he can to distract you while you recover. Which definitely includes lots of cuddles and a good movie.

this was so short, I'm so sorry, but honestly it's one of my favorites, Jhooope :((

KIM NAMJOON:

*scrambles frantically to grab the kiss*

Namjoon is extremely smart, everyone knows it. But when his new wife catches a terrible cold he seems to throw all knowledge out the window and replace it with complete and utter panic. This is what you find out after you've caught a really bad cold, now lying in bed with a pounding headache and a stuffed nose, making it hard to breathe like a normal human.

Namjoon rushes into your shared room once again, arms full of tissue boxes, medicine, and a bunch of random stuff that you have no idea where he got it from.

"Namjoon honey," you can't help but laugh at his frantic self. He looks at you wide-eyed, "yes Y/n? Is there anything else I can get you? How are you feeling? What can I do to he-" You cut off his rambling with a wave of your hand, he shuts right up and walks across the room to sit on the side of the bed when you wave him over.

He sets all the stuff he was carrying on the floor and takes your hand when you reach for his then you clear your sore throat, "Joonie, you have helped me so much already. You got me food and blankets and look, some tissues and medicine now. Thank you, for everything. But, now I just wanna cuddle my husband, is that okay?" He nods and you see his dimples make an appearance, causing you to giggle and pinch his cheeks. Before he gets into bed with you he grabs the cough drops and a box of tissues from his stash, and makes sure you take some medicine for your headache. Then he climbs clumsily over you to sit next to you. His long legs give him trouble trying to crawl across you and it makes him take a second before he's finally situated comfortably. You can't stop laughing until he's done, and he blushes at your teasing. He hands you the cough drops which you take gratefully, then he pulls you into his chest to snuggle.

"Are you feeling any better babe?" You smile at his concern and turn your head to look up at him, "yes Joonie, thank you." He just smiles and hugs you tighter; squishing you against his hard chest, which you love when he does that.

"You're the best husband ever," you whisper after a few minutes and you swear you can feel his blush and shy smile when he kisses the top of your head and whispers back, "I just want to take care of my beautiful wife, I love you Y/n."

"I love you too Joonie."

PARK JIMIN:

*is thrown to the floor from overwhelming feels and uwus*

You hadn't been able to sleep all night long, tossing and turning for hours. All of your bones felt like they were breaking and all your muscles were sore. It was in the wee hours of the morning when you gave up on sleep completely. You had no idea what was going on but whatever it was, you wanted it to stop soon.

At about nine in the morning, you lay there contemplating life and sickness and death as your body feels like it's shutting down. You hear a bling and it takes all of your strength to sit up and grab your phone, seeing a text message from your boyfriend.

Hey babygirl, how did you sleep last night?

You laugh bitterly and type out a reply with your stiff fingers,

I didn't. I don't know why I feel so horrible right now.

Jimin responds right away, your chest feels achy and tight and you take a few deep breathes, then you smile tiredly at his text,

Aww, my poor baby, I'm gonna come over after work today, is that alright?

You message back that you'd definitely like him to come over, then you try to close your eyes for at least an hour of sleep. You'd already called in sick to work, so you didn't have to get up for a while. You lay there and try to ignore the achiness of your stiff muscles and the headache that's starting to creep it's way in.

A few hours later you wake up to your front door opening, you feel groggy and disoriented and you hate it. Jimin walks into your room quietly and smiles at you sleepily watching him as he makes his way to your bed. He sits on the side of your bed and leans towards you, putting his hand gently on your forehead. "Baby, you're burning up." He gets up and walks to the closet where he knows you keep medicine and stuff, he digs around until he finds your thermometer and then he comes back to your side. He slides it across your forehead, stopping at your temple and holding the button down until it beeps. He looks at it and shakes his head, "you have a fever Y/n, how are you feeling now?" You squint at him and try to move but your sore neck causes you to wince and just croak out, "ah ow, I feel like I just ran a marathon, gosh, it's so hot." You shove the covers off of you with all you can muster. Jimin's eyebrows are furrowed in concern and he pets your head before telling you to stay put. You must have passed out again because when you open your eyes once more everything is blurry and Jimin is just coming back into the room. He's holding a wet rag, a glass of water and some medicine. Jimin comes over and sets the cool wet rag on your forehead before coaxing the pills into you.

You start to shiver after a few minutes and Jimin puts your covers back on you, you wince again from the aches spreading across your body. "The medicine will kick in soon, don't worry baby," Jimin keeps stroking your hair and then he starts to hum one of your favorite songs. The medicine does start working eventually and you finally relax as Jimin keeps up his ministrations. You keep fading in and out of consciousness but Jimin stays right where he is.

He doesn't plan on leaving, not until you're fully healthy again. He smiles down at your sleeping figure, "I love you Y/n, feel better soon."

KIM TAEHYUNG:

Ya know, God wasn't f*ckin around when he made Kim Taehyung.

It was a stupid idea to go out without a jacket when there was a giant rain cloud looming overhead, and you knew it. But, you had to get out and see your boyfriend. Today had been awful, you got into a nasty fight with your friend and you wanted nothing more than to just be held by Tae. Of course you should've known you'd get rained on, but to be fair you thought you would have made it to his dorm before it got too bad. Turns out you were wrong.

You're still a few blocks from the boys' dorm and completely soaked. You shiver uncontrollably and keep hugging yourself tightly while you walk in the pouring rain. You had run out of your house so fast that you didn't even grab your purse, which had your subway transportation card in it, so you had to walk. Thankfully you had your phone in your pocket, but you didn't even call Taehyung before you left. You just prayed that he would be home when you got there.

Finally you walk up the steps leading to their dorm. You knock on the door and try to stop shaking, already feeling your nose stuffed up and your throat raw. Jin opens the door and looks at you in shock, "Y/n? Come in, quickly. Why on earth are you out there without a jacket, at least?" Jin opens the door wider for you and gestures you inside. You walk in and take off your wet sneakers, your socks are beyond saving as they are soaked too. Jin hands you a pair of slippers to put on after peeling your socks off. "Th-thank you Jin, I was s-stupid and forgot a coat. Nice day for a w-walk though." You try to laugh it off and he just shakes his head playfully at you. Then you both look up at the sound of a bedroom door opening and someone hurrying out. Tae walks over to you smiling, "Y/n, I thought I heard your voice." When he reaches you it seems to finally register in his brain that you're sopping wet. His face changes to one of worry and he grabs your hand, "baby, your hands are freezing, what happened?" He leads you to his room and closes the door behind you two. Tae hurries to his closet and rummages around in it until he comes out with a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie of his. Then he brings them over to you, "put these on love, I'll be right back." He hands them to you and closes the door behind him when he leaves, giving you privacy to change–which you do quickly–finally nice and warm in his comfy clothes.

Tae comes back and smiles at you in his clothes, he gives you a warm pack that he heated up, so you can warm your hands and cheeks. Then he has you lie down to cuddle with him and tell him what happened. You rant to him about the fight with your friend and he hums in understanding at the right parts of your story. After you finish you tell him you think you caught a cold from the rain, so he hugs you tightly and says, "I'm sorry you had a bad day love, I'm gonna take care of you now, ok? Let me help you feel better."

And with warm food, medicine, and lots of cuddles, that's exactly what he did.

JEON JUNGKOOK:

Can I please just...just hold his hand? :((

You were over at the boys' dorm. Playing Mario Kart with Jungkook and Tae, and doing a pretty dang good job at it if you do say so yourself. You'd beaten both of them at least once and you were gonna sneak up on the two of them for a third time, when you started to feel a little sick. You just assumed it was from playing so long that you got dizzy, but you stopped trying so hard and settled for third place. Then you opted out of the next round, much to your boyfriend's dismay. Tae seemed to want to stop after the next round as well, saying he was bored and wanted to do something else. Jungkook shrugged it off and said he'd just play Overwatch since you both abandoned him.

You had been feeling a little iffy since the night before but you hadn't let yourself dwell on it. Getting sick was one of your biggest fears, especially throwing up. So you kept distracting yourself while you laid on Jungkook's bed. Tae had left to find something else to do and Jungkook was extremely invested in the level he was currently playing. You felt your stomach turn again and willed yourself not to panic, think about random things Y/n, stay calm. When you start to panic you usually have a method of calming down; picking out random objects in the room and describing them to yourself.

But you needed to throw up, now. No talking yourself out of this one, so you jump off Jungkook's bed and run into his bathroom, closing the door behind you and making it to the toilet right as you start to gag. Jungkook was alarmed when he felt your sudden movement and he had paused the game right away. When he heard you throwing up in the bathroom he waited until you stopped, then knocked on the door softly. "Y/n? Baby can I come in?" He heard you whimper and took that as a sign, he opened the door and walked in crouching down next to you by the toilet. You had your head in your hands breathing shakily, "J-Jungkook," he brushed your hair out of your face, "yes, babydoll?" You tried not to cry, you really did, but you couldn't help it when a choked sob escaped your throat, "I'm s-scared. I d-don't want to throw up." Jungkook took your hands in his big ones and held them tight, "I know Jagi, but it's gonna stop, yeah? It won't last forever." You nodded and held onto his words with every ounce of your being, but soon enough you were bent back over the toilet, throwing up once again. Jungkook held your hair out of your face and whispered soothing words to you as he rubbed your back with his other hand. After a good twenty minutes of on and off throwing up, you make your way out of the bathroom, your boyfriend helping you walk. You keep insisting that you need to go home or he'd get sick, but he won't hear of it and makes you lie in his bed. "I don't care about anything but you right now Y/n," after he tucks you in he leans forward and kisses your forehead to see if you have a temperature, which you definitely do.

Jungkook goes out to get Jin to see what he should do and after talking to his eldest hyung he makes his way back to you and does everything he can. Pretty soon you've been given water, crackers are on his sidetable for when you're hungry, there's a bucket next to the bed in case you need to throw up again, and a cool rag is on your forehead. Jungkook is lying next to you and stroking your hair softly, whispering to you about the random objects in his room, and telling made up stories about where they came from and how they were made. You end up falling asleep and Jungkook follows soon after, Jin is out in the kitchen making some soup for you which Jungkook will feed you later. Being sick was terrifying for you but Jungkook knew what to do to bring the panic back down, and you couldn't be more grateful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n 2.0: thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it my loves <3 I wish I had BTS to take care of me rn lmao. I'm sick and this was a biatch to post. It's after 4am, I should sleep, but I can't :')

[eds-zebra-warrior]

2021 Ehlers Danlos Society Awareness Month (Day 18 Prompt: Words to Parents)

I am interpreting this prompt in two different ways so will address it as such starting with explaining how my parents are with my condition and then words to parents of kids newly diagnosed or who present with a wide array of symptoms.

My parents were awesome prior to my diagnosis. There were things I wish they had known and even now wish they knew but I almost always had that support system some don't have. Sure there were a lot of times I would tell my mom I was having chest pain or my heart was pounding where she would say “It's probably just anxiety” and of course when anyone has a headache, runny nose, stuffy nose, scratchy throat or generally coming down with some kind of bug her notorious saying was “It’s probably just your sinuses” which me and my dad still talk about to this day. She went decades of her life taking Sudafed every morning truly believing she just had bad sinuses to find out years later she was actually having an allergic reaction the entire time due to Systemic Mastocitosis and really needed allergy meds and since she had bad sinus issues she seemed to think anything and almost everything that someone was experiencing from the lungs lungs up, weather it be a migraine, eye pain, sore throat, coughing, going horse, runny nose, bloody nose etc. it was just your sinuses which usually wasn't the case because soon after I would test positive for strep throat, oh the times I had strep throat. I had it so often that when I got it, I started not even noticing the throat pain believing my mom that it was my sinuses but more major like a sinus infection, to go to the doctor and find I had strep again and was desensitized to the pain. Sometimes my whole throat and mouth would be covered in blisters before the pain was bad enough just because I always had strep. Occasionally it was other things like my migraines growing up I now know were from Occipital neuralgia, craniocervical and atlantoaxial instability. So she didn't always take me seriously but I have to admit, after two decades of your life being told you're a hypochondriac and your symptoms are all in your head, I started to believe I was crazy myself and that my symptoms either weren't real or much less severe than they really were.

My dad being autistic never really dealt with my health stuff very much. He just isn't knowledgeable in it and has no clue what to do so my mom was the one who did that. Though she pawned off a lot of my more serious issues on it all being on my head she was always there for me. She took me to the hospital if it was needed and knew I didn't say I needed to go to the hospital unless I really felt like death. There have been several times where doctors have tried to say nothing is wrong and send me home where she has literally refused to take me home or argued with doctors but this was mostly after my diagnosis. I kind of wish she would have done this and pushed harder when I was a kid as she very much has, I guess you would call it brand loyalty but it went further than only grocery shopping at Meijer, literally fighting with me for years about leaving Verizon because in her mind Verizon was the only company that was any good, only allowing one person to cut her hair even if it meant following her to a new job, she had a doctor she liked and stayed with him for most of my life and denied he wasn't a good doctor after an incident in high school which caused me to switch. It's hard for her to move on even if there is no progress or things start to get worse so one thing I wish is she would have done a little more doctor shopping when I was a kid.

Doctor shopping is oftentimes frowned upon at and when most people hear of doctor shopping they tend to think of it as someone who goes from doctor to doctor looking for drugs or or to sign disability papers so they can get a free ride at life but when you have a rare disease doctor shopping means something totally different and can even be so vitally important your life and future depends on it. I had so many doctors who simply invalidated my symptoms saying I was making them up for attention or had a mental illness. Many of these doctors did nothing at all but the majority of them did the exact same tests over and over. If it was a doctor outside of the hospital they did a CBC, Chem. and a 7 (Basic Metabolic Panel) which always came back normal or borderline normal therefore they deemed me healthy, slapped a psychiatric disorder on me or simply said there's nothing wrong and sent me on my way,

If I went to the hospital, they would do the CBC, Chem. 7, accuse me of doing drugs or being pregnant or when I was really little bring in case managers making accusations of child abuse that wasn't happening, then do a drug test, pregnancy test and STD testing, say the CBC and Chem. 7 were normal or near normal, congratulate me on not being pregnant, having any illegal substances in my system or STD’s, slap a psychiatric disorder on me saying they tested everything and sent me home. When I got older, lucky me, I got two drug tests, the urinalysis drug test and when it came back normal, they would come in and draw my blood assuming if I was having seizures, passing out or having heart palpitations I must be on drugs and tampered with the urine test. I wish prior to my diagnosis my dad would have had a computer and learned to use it and both my parents would have done more research. I also wish they had advocated for me better and if one doctor said they didn't know or didn't believe me, they would have moved on to another doctor because if I could have gotten diagnosed sponsor it would have saved me some permanent damage to my body that I have now and possibly spared me some of the medical abuse and neglect though even with a diagnosis you can't avoid it, especially when it comes to the hospital.

Doctors and nurses are just as lazy as everyone else. It's just like every other job where 5% of the employees do 90% of the work and 90% of the employees do 5% of the work. The ones who actually take their jobs seriously are used to the max by their coworkers and like me when I was a nurse, didn’t believe the patients deserved to suffer or pay for their staffs laziness and neglect and those are the ones who try to play superman taking on their patients and everyone else's, answering call lights that aren't theirs, bringing food to others patients, making sure they are turned or their catheters have been emptied and generally running around like a chicken with their head cut off and I can always tell who falls into the 90% who uses the 5%, carrying less about the patient as long as they get a paycheck and the 5% who look like they are about to fall over yet still giving what they don't have to make sure the patient doesn't pay for their lazy staff member.

It's very easy to tell when you have spent a large portion of your life in doctors offices and hospitals and learn how rare it is to get one of the people in the 5% as your medical personnel and watching the lazy staff you have out your door at the nurses station sitting with other lazy staff in front a computer laughing at a YouTube video their watching, gossiping and talking badly about another patient loud enough for you to hear, playing pranks on each other, one nurse who drops her pants moons another in a room of 9-11 year old little boys, The nurse who has the pediatric patient who flat lines, on bad days, it's not uncommon for this to happen 20 times in one day and at their best, at the very least multiple times a week. The patient's vitals are linked to a pager the nurse carries so if the patient's heart stops the pager will alert them yet they consistently leave the pager in the patient's bed, on their night stand, at one of the computer kiosks where nurses chart, in another patients room, in the activity room or god knows where. I've found it in the bathroom on the toilet paper mount, in the linen closet on top of some towels, you name it then this same nurse who is buddy buddy with the nurse slips away with a coworker to the activity room or to the nurses lounge for you to later walk in on them playing cards and talking bad about patients or other staff. The two nurses going through a wedding magazine, looking at dresses and hear one say “That's my room”, and the other one say “Just ignore it and let Janett get it” Yes these are true stories down to the name used for the poor nurse who was running around like a chicken with her head cut off. All experiences I have seen either in the roll of the nurse and in the roll of the patient.

I was mostly around nurses and of course you don't see doctors very often but being in a chair I have been forced to use a bedpan before and seen examples similar to this with doctors as well. Once I was taken downstairs for a cardiac ultrasound, asking to go to the bathroom before they took me down because I had my call light on to go before transport even came in my room. They told me I would only be down there 10 or 15 minutes and asked me if I could wait. They took me down there to beds of people lining the halls and I had 18 people in front of me. Well, 15 minutes turned into 4 hours. I asked multiple times to go to the bathroom and they said they don't have a wheelchair down there and if I can't walk to the bathroom I have to hold it. I even asked if they could call up to my room and have my mom bring my chair down and as gross as it sounds, I even got desperate, breaking into a sweat I had to pee so bad and asked them to wheel my bed outside the bathroom and lower it as low as it goes, and I would put my blanket and pillows on the floor and slide out of my bed onto the floor myself and they can pull me on the blanket to the toilet or I could army crawl and use my arms to pull myself up onto the toilet. They still said no. I asked earlier on if they could take me back to my room or bring a wheelchair, still no.

Eventually I told one of the nurses that I had to pee for 3.5 hours, she saw that I was all sweaty and shaking. I said if they don’t get me somewhere to pee within the next few minutes they were going to have a huge mess to clean up. She grabbed two bedpans, a small one and a bit one, said you're tiny and I told her no, use the big one, I have EDS so my bladder can stretch really far and I can easily pee 22 oz. so she rolled me into a doctor's personal office, he was in there watching a movie on Netflix on his computer, yes a full blown Netflix movie. He tried to flip the screen back to an ultrasound image really quick when the nurse stormed in with me to make it look like that's what he was doing but he fumbled around a little bit and wasn't fast enough. The nurse told him to get out so he left and I had to pee in a bed pan in his office… then spent the next few weeks having to wear diapers for bladder leaks because they let me hold my bladder so long my bladder stretched out too much from hypermobility and it folded on top of itself resulting in bladder leaks until it shrink back down. Thank you OSU. Doctors can also be extremely lazy and I wish this was something my parents acknowledged more or took more notice of and fought more for me, looked more into my rights, such as being able to call a patient advocate or fire doctors and nurses which is something I had to find out myself.

I found out I had EDS before I was even diagnosed which is what made me fight so hard to find a doctor who has heard of it. I got desperate being sick and spent years learning how to find and read medical journals. When Facebook started having groups I started joining groups to ask questions, I started going to doctors and no longer letting them call the shots. If they said they wanted to do a Chem. 7 and CBC I would say that's fine if they want to but it will come back normal and start requesting tests that aren't considered standard and that are used to test for specific conditions rather than just evaluating me for acute conditions. I started walking in and telling doctors how I felt and when they either said well we will see you in a year to see if things change or wanting to run just the basic CBC and Chem. 7 I would start saying “Could you run a 24 hour Tryptase Urinalysis”, “Could you run a gastric emptying study”, “could you run a 24 hour urine for Cortisol levels”, “could you run an ELISA”, “would you write for a flexion/extension MRI with contrast”, “What about a rotational CT” “Everyone wants to do a colonoscopy but instead of ordering that can you order an Endoscopy this time?” “I would like to get an “ATCH Stem test”, “I know you have never heard of one but if I email you the information will you order a Tilt Table Test”, “You’re doing that Aortic Ultrasound without contrast? It’s supposed to be done with contrast. Could you call up to the doctor and ask him to add contrast before you start?”

Sure a lot of doctors would downright refuse. I have gone in 5 and 6 times asking for a test and being told no, only to go in the 7th time and be told “It will come back negative but if I order this will you quit bugging me about it?” for them to order it and the test to come back positive for the condition I wanted it ordered for then they treat me like total crap to the point the office staff is mentioning about how bad he is treating me to find out he’s doing it on purpose to try to get rid of me as a patient, probably because he realized what he said was really wrong and he made himself look bad. I have learned that if a doctor isn't willing to listen to move on and find someone who will. You need to find one who is willing to run the test or even just ask if I can email them some medical journals or information about the test or showing the importance of it or why I believe it needs done, willing to learn and if I can prove my case they will order it no problem.

I wish I had someone who started this for me as a child who did the research or helped me do the research to know what tests to ask for and to find a new doctor for me if one was either trying to slap a psychiatric label on me or acted interested but simply refused to run any tests so my care went stagnant. I still wish my parents knew the ins and outs of EDS like I do and really researched it because it makes me a little nervous when a squad is called and they are stumbling over my diagnosis or saying “She has oh, that one heart thing that makes it go really fast. Oh what's it called or only naming like two of my conditions. It also scares me that one day I will be rushed in internally bleeding since things like Aortic Dissection, Carotid Dissection, Mesenteric Dissection, Iliac Dissection or Femoral Dissection as well as uterine and bowel rupture are common and can happen very suddenly in EDS that my parents may not know the common areas for bleeds or know them from most to least common so they may not know where to look or may not realize its actually internal bleeding at all until it's too late.

With all of the craniocervical manifestations I also fear I will be sent in for respiratory distress a or something else emergent relating to my craniocervical instability and my family family won’t realize its from the instability and if they do they wont know where to find information to prove this to a doctor or who the five surgeons in the US are who can operate on it so I will either end up on life support until someone gives up on finding the root of the problem which I knew all along what it was but couldn't tell anyone and pulls the plug, unable to tell anyone what is happening and advocate for myself, die before they even get a chance to hook me up to life support or end up under the knife of a surgeon who has absolutely no clue how to do the surgery I need and what modifications and special precautions need to be made for someone with EDS and I will die on the table like a few others I know or the last scenario, where I will have the surgery, wake up from it and it will be so botched that I’m one of the ones walking around with broken hardware, screws drilled into my spinal cord and paralyzed from the neck down, in more pain than I am now and the damage is too extensive to be repaired.

It's so important for the patient and their family to have very extensive knowledge of the condition since it's very complex and there are a lot of things that can go wrong at any given time. It's important to know what symptoms you are experiencing at any given time are associated with or at least the ability to know what medical emergencies are more common in EDS patients and the ability to narrow it down to 2 or 3 possibilities because most medical professionals don't learn about EDS or learn very little.

Just to put the complexity of the condition into perspective let's say you wanted to buy a book that taught you about diabetes and it was 500 pages long but you wanted to also buy a book on Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and be just as knowledgeable by the time you finish about EDS as you are when you finish the book on diabetes, there are about 15 common comorbidities of diabetes and about 250 common comorbidities of EDS. Diabetes can affect a handful of other organ systems however EDS effects every single part of the body so if you wanted to be just as knowledgeable about EDS as you would about Diabetes after reading a 500 page book about it and its comorbidities, given they were only allowed to give you more basic knowledge of comorbidities, say 10-15 pages per comorbidity, depending on its complexity and the rest on Diabetes you would have to read about 4,573 pages and that's only for hypermobile form of EDS which is broken down into trifecta so I gave 15 pages to each comorbidity of diabetes, were going to assume this book is on type 1 diabetes given there are 2 types of diabetes and 13+ types of EDS so after giving 15 pages to the comorbidities the remaining was for the condition itself. Since hypermobile is usually seen in the trifecta I had to multiple the remaining pages by three then add 15 pages for each comorbidity to get the total number of pages and even this is a very rough estimate since we need to consider how many organ systems are involved in each and how complex the comorbidity.

In most medical textbooks EDS is not listed at all or is only condensed into a few paragraphs at the very most while learning about collagen and connective tissue so if anyone in the medical field learns about it at all its very very little, so little that they can easily forget those one or two paragraphs they read our of the thousands of pages they read during medical school.

Now I know it sounds like I’m talking bad about my parents but that's not the case at all. My parents are incredible and so much better with my condition than a lot of others. They may not know the ins and outs of this but they know I am not faking anything, I’m not exaggerating, they know, especially with my PTSD, that if I go to the hospital I am pretty darn sick and know when to make me go if I continue refusing to go to the hospital. They don't want to talk about it or admit it so will often downplay the fact that death can happen very easily and at any time and I am not going to live an average life expectancy. They may avoid talking about it or downplay it but I know they know just how serious this is but they already lost their son and don't want to lose their daughter so avoid the topic.

They refused to let me be sent to a nursing home or long term care facility when we were told I could no longer live alone and brought me into their house. They help me with a lot of my needs. Heck, my mom has given me baths as an adult because I have been too sick to do so. My mom helped with training Maggie to be a service animal, making sure I made it to all of her classes, helping me teach tasks I struggled with due to being in a chair, using her commands so she gets practice and doesn’t forget what she has learned. My dad not so much. He's a softie that has let every animal we have ever owned, own him. If it were up to him to do the training, Maggie probably wouldn't even be house broken yet if I’m totally honest lol. They have taken on so much with me and though I appreciate it more than they could ever know I also feel terrible guilt surrounding all that they do.

They have to drive me everywhere. The safety of public transportation in America for people on Medicare is downright deplorable. Only one agency contracted by Medicare has seat belts for wheelchair users, most of the vans are from the 90s and not up to code. They are actually so old that someone who is disabled isn't even allowed to buy one for personal at the age the ones the state provides transportation in here in Ohio because they don't meet the safety requirements even for the minimum amount of insurance yet a cab company is allowed to purchase and insure them to transport the disabled in. Its one of those things where it's illegal for the members of the state but the rule doesn't apply to the government kind of things. Their extremely dangerous, I have been in ones in my 425 lb. wheelchair, with my112 lb. self my 17 lb. service dog in her one or two pounds of gear and a backpack on the back of my chair with my meds and maybe some food and a drink in it to take to a doctors appointment so maybe another 10 or so lbs. of weight, riding in a van and staring through the rust holes in the floor looking at t the rusty parts under the van and the pavement of the highway underneath me, hoping to god the floor doesn't give way to all of this weight so I don't fall through.

I've been in two accidents with drivers, most of these drivers smell of mamajuana when they come and one of them had a rink that had a little tiny canister on it (If I remember I’ll post a picture I secretly took of it” at a stop light he opened the little can, poured white powder into his hand, used his other finger to brush it into a pile in his palm and then snorted it up his nose. I have ridden in vans someone threw up all over, one that the door to the wheelchair lift had 3 of its 4 hinges rusted all the way through so when the driver opened the door he had to hold it with one hand because it was hanging on there sideways like a broken cabinet door with only the bottom hinge still attached, got me up the lift then shut the door, came inside and used a bungie, hooking it in a hole that it looked like was drilled into the door and then a natural hole where the raised roof of the van and the bottom of the van attaches in a hole that didn't have a bolt. It was a really windy day and on the way back, we were driving down my road, a gust of wind blew, the bungee snapped, almost hitting me in the face, the door flew open and the last hinge snapped with the door flying off and into the gutter along the side of the road. We were right down the road from my house and the driver casually said “I'll go ahead and drop you off first and grab that on my way back.” like that kind of thing happens every day or something.

I have had a driver ask to stop at a gas station and I told him that was fine thinking he needed gas. He pulled up beside the end pump and instead of getting gas we sat there for about 3 minutes when another guy in a red truck pulled up along the side of the building. The driver got out of the van and went around the side of the building where the truck was. All I could see was the back of the truck sticking, about a minute later my driver came out from behind the truck, sticking something in his front pocket, the truck left and then we left. I was hoping to god it was just his brother or roommate or someone giving him some money for lunch or something but for real, a wallet goes in the back pocket and what he had was smaller than a wallet since you couldn't see what was in his hand and most people carry plastic these days so I’m pretty sure I was just hoping it was lunch money out of wishful thinking because with along the side of the building out of view of most of the public and all it seemed pretty sketchy to me.

Anyhow my parents do a lot, they drive me to appointments when they can to try to keep me out of the appalling care of the state, they let me live with them, they provide a lot of care, cooking, doing my laundry, vacuuming and doing a lot of the things that I feel like I should be doing for them at their age. It really does make me feel extremely guilty and like a terrible person. They help with Maggie taking her out just to help me out even though I can usually take her out myself unless it's icy or snowy since she basically takes herself out lol. I can go in the yard with her in the late spring to early fall when it's warm and dry out so my power chair won't sink into the mud. They will pick up food at the store or meds for me they do a lot and with my mom having EDS too, I have seen my mom go down hill a lot since her botched surgery that left her on life support so I hate asking either of them to do anything or for help. My dad is almost 66 and my mom, though 8 years younger gets around worse than my dad does so it's really hard to need so much care and feel like I put it on them, especially when my home health aid was taken away when the pandemic started but of course most of the home health aids I had were so English incompetent's and fresh out of countries where they didn't have stoves or washers and dryers and what not, living in huts that they don't know how to use modern appliances or understand me when I relay my needs which actually made things oftentimes harder with a home health and than without one as my parents were always coming home to fixing messes the aids made too.

With all that being said, here is my advice to parents of kids with suspected EDS. Get them diagnosed as early on as possible. Do lots of research, I know it's a pain and may be a lot of work but the more you know about the condition the better. Don't stop there, learn your rights and laws around medical care and disability rights as well as techniques for advocating for your child. Get them on a 504 plan at their school so they can get the accommodations they need. Learning disabilities aren’t uncommon and the prevalence of high functioning autism is incredibly high in EDS patients so if you suspect they may have a learning disability fight for a diagnosis and have that added to the 504 plan. A 504 plan isn't just for learning disabilities, it can be for physical disabilities as well.

You don't want to caudle you child of course and many don't have a lot of severe symptoms as kids but make sure the plan accommodates for things such as food allergies, if they have POTS or low blood sugar make sure they have it in their plan to be able to bring their own food, be able to eat in class. I know on mine, I was allowed to use the teachers lounge microwave during lunch to heat food brought from home and they allowed me to use the bathroom in the nurse's office if I needed it. You can ask for things like that they not be punished for arriving to class after the bell within reason, especially if the school is large and they may have several classes on the opposite side of the building as their locker so they aren't forced to carry books for multiple classes or for them to have two sets of books, one that they keep at home and one that is in each classroom they attend class in so they aren't having to carry heavy books around or teased for having a backpack on wheels. This is one thing I would have really liked to have written into my IEP as a kid if I had been lucky enough to get diagnosed sooner. If they are more symptomatic, more prone to injury or have VEDS they may have more needs.

Again you don't want to be a helicopter parent and want them to do as much stuff for themselves as it is safe for them to do and want them to have all the experiences other children do but if gym is an issue you can request they don't participate in high contact sports or even have it put into their IEP that they can swap gym out for another elective like music, art or home economics class or in the lower grades where they may not have options for alternative electives you can ask if they have any teachers or aids available during that time frame who can create somewhat of a study hall for the younger child, helping them with their homework, studying for tests, able to sit there and let the child read a book to them and help them with any words they struggle with or even just play some educational games with them or let them play an educational game on the computer.

Some schools also offer physical therapy for kids, especially the ones with developmental delays who may not be mainstreamed and the therapy replaces gym for them. Even if your child has cognitive abilities cohesive with their age, you could see if they are allowed to join therapy with those children. With being able to do so much online now, I have heard of some requesting that on their bad days the teachers live stream them into their classroom so they can participate in class from home when needed or if the child needs a surgery or has a doctors appointment they can live stream in instead of going to school or live stream in part of the day before or after an appointment, going to school the other half of the time. You may also request extended time on homework like instead of turning it all in the next day, ask that they have the week, for example, they have to have all homework turned in from that week by the following Monday so say they are having a really bad day Wednesday and in a lot of pain or very fatigued and can only get their math homework done but not their English, science and history. They will be able to work on that homework throughout the week possibly adding the English to their Thursday homework, the science to their Friday homework and catch up on the history over the weekend so they at least aren’t failing or losing credit on homework if there are a few days a month where they are really struggling or not feeling well.

Another reason I suggest learning everything you can and really fighting for a diagnosis early is because if you work you are more likely to have a PPO insurance plan which covers a lot more than Medicare. You can get some things that Medicare won't cover out of the way in case the child has a possibility of being disabled as an adult. Genetic testing is one thing you really want to try to get done as a child as hospitals in some states like my own will not do genetic testing for EDS on adults unless they have another family member who has tested positive for one of the rarer forms of EDS.

You don't want to be in the situation I am where you have four doctors sure you have Vascular form and have been fighting to get you tested, your brother died before he had any testing, your uncle had an aortic aneurysm and died never getting diagnosed, you were referred to a geneticist who won't test you because you are under 21 and no one in you family has tested positive on genetic testing for VEDS, your mom is referred to genetic testing after coming out of a coma and being on life support after a major organ rupture that almost took her life and turned away for the same reason and your grandfather is referred and turned away leaving multiple members of the family suspected of having EDS but no one able to be tested because we are all over the age of 21 and I can’t have children nor would I want to because of the fear of passing this down to them there will not be anyone under the age of 21 to get tested in order for us to get tested so your stuck without a diagnosis. This is why you need at least a hypermobile diagnosis so you have time to fight for the genetic testing to ensure it isn’t a more serious type, especially if a doctor suspects it.

If your child has severe enough symptoms you can also get them listed as disabled under the state in order to get extra financial aid to cover medical needs not covered or special equipment like gait trainers or possibly a power chair for school and a manual chair at home It can cover the cost of tutoring and several other things insurance may not cover. If they grow up and work for so many years and end up getting worse, needing to go onto SSDI their SSDI it will also make it so that their payout will be higher if its on record that they were disabled before the age of 18.

Having a child with a complex health condition, especially when the condition is rare can be a lot of work and very stressful at times. Definitely learn everything you can and fight for a diagnosis for your child. If you suspect you may have the condition fight for a diagnosis for yourself as well. The sooner anyone starts treatment and can get regular screenings such as those for aortic dissection the more they can prevent damage early on and also prevent life threatening complications so that’s my advice to any parent out there.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 04 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.7 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

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Holding What Isn't His

Leaving the hospital is great. You feel like you're seeing the city for the first time because, in a way, you are. Keanu keeps the small talk as he drives, telling you about your schedules with the doctors. You'll be going to the hospital a lot, but you rather go there than staying.

Once you get to the house, you can't help but look around. The night has already fallen, but you know that the many glass walls will allow the light to come in during the day. Carrying your bag, Keanu gives you a quick tour through the first floor before guiding you upstairs. He's silent now, but you don't want to ask why. There are four bedrooms and a huge balcony. The view is amazing too, and you can't believe you live here.

“This is our bedroom,” Keanu says as he opens a door. Peaking inside, you see an amazing bedroom. A king-size bed is placed between two windows that reach from floor to ceiling. On the left side, a balcony with a sliding door. There's a small lounge on the corner, with a couch, an armchair, and a TV. You stand by the door, not sure if you should step further inside. “The house is new, so we're still working on the decoration.”

“It looks nice to me.” You mutter, putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

“All of your stuff is here, but you can sleep in the guest room if that will make you feel more comfortable.”

Oh. You haven't thought about that. “Uhm... I don't know.” It would be weird to sleep with Keanu, but you don't want him to be sad or anything. “I don't want you to think that I don't want to be with you, I just–”

“Hey, listen.” He puts the bag down and comes to stand before you. Keanu is very tall, and he towers over you. Raising your head to look at him, you sigh. “This is about you. I'll be happy as long as you're comfortable. So do what you have to do, alright?"

Taking a deep breath, you nod, looking down. Shyly, with your stomach burning a little, you take his hand. You're don't know where the gesture comes from, but you just need him to know you're here... And you need to know he's here too. “Just for a few days, I... I just need a while to get used to everything.”

“Take your time.” His thumb caresses the back of your hand, and it makes you smile a little. “It's a little late. You should get some rest.”

“Yeah.” You had dinner at the hospital, and it's almost ten. Nodding you run a hand through your hair. “Can I take a shower first? I don't know where any of my stuff is so...”

“Let me show you.” And so he does.

Keanu has a closet, and your stuff occupies half of it. He walks you around it, and you pick an old baggy shirt and sweatpants before heading to the bathroom. Keanu assures you can use his, and you decide not to refuse the offer. He kindly helps you settle down in the guest room when you're done, telling you to call him if you need anything. But, after lingering for some minutes, he leaves, turning the lights off before closing the door.

Surrounded by darkness, you lie on your side, pulling the blankets up to your shoulders. Sleep does come easier this time, knowing you're home. But you wake up a while later, eyes on the digital clock finding it's two in the morning. You do try to fall asleep again, but this time your mind won't let you. You're tired, exhausted even, of trying to remember. You want so bad to remember Keanu. To remember the plans you made for the baby, the time you've shared. This isn't fair to anyone. Not even to the life growing inside you. You can't help but blame yourself a little for putting an unborn child through such an accident, even though Keanu told you it wasn't your fault some crazy driver came speeding through the road. And, on top of all that, you might just be depriving Keanu of enjoying the pregnancy. You don't remember who you were before, or what you believed in, but you know this is something to be appreciated by both parts.

“Damn it.” You complain tossing around and sighing with the sudden need to eat something, you're not sure what. Trying to keep your mind still, eyes shut, you pull one of the pillows and hug it. But soon enough you're beyond frustrated, eyes rolling as you push yourself up, stopping for just a moment to wait for the dizziness to pass.

Tiptoeing, you walk through the hall, using the walls to guide you through the darkness since you don't know the place at all. Finding the kitchen is also a challenge since you don't want to turn any lights on until you get there. But when you reach the kitchen, you can't find the freaking switch, but you do manage to find the fridge, pulling the door open. Your eyes welcome the light, but you blink a little until you get used to it. Something in you says you shouldn't be opening his fridge like this, but this is your home, right? Maybe you're just overthinking.

“There gotta be something.” Mumbling you glance at your stomach, a small smile crossing your lips. “Is you, isn't it? You want some sugar.” You ask the baby, focusing your attention on the fridge again, scanning through it, trying to find anything you'd want to eat.

“Everything alright?” The voice comes with the lights being turned on, and you jump a little, pushing the fridge door closed. Turning on your heels, a hand on your heart, you find Keanu with an apologetic look. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.”

“It's alright, I was just looking for something sweet to eat, Uhm... The baby wants what it wants.” Shrugging your shoulders, you walk to the kitchen island, blushing a little, not sure why though.

“Did you find anything?” He asks, moving to stand across from you.

Shyly, you shake your head no. “I didn't, but I'm alright. I'm not hungry. It's just... Hormones, I think.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't do much grocery shopping while you were at the hospital, but I'll fix it.” He gives you a look you can't read. “I'll go get you something. There are a lot of stores opened twenty-four hours.”

“No, please.” You burst out, quickly walking around the island to reach Keanu when he starts walking to the living room. Grabbing his forearm, you succeed to make him stop. “You don't have to, really. I told you, I'm not hungry. You don't have to go out there in the middle of the night just because I'm having cravings.”

“Of course I have to.” He turns to face you completely, and you give a tiny step back just to have a better look at him. “Just tell me what you want. I'll put on a jacket and get going.”

“Please, Ke. I mean it, you don't have to.” When you realize the way you called him, you immediately look down, feeling heat spreading through your cheeks.

“I'm going. So you can either tell me what you want or I'll have to get creative and try to find out.” He says after a while of silence. But despite the ultimatum, he's voice is soft.

“I'm coming too then.” You quickly decide, crossing your arms and looking back at him, putting a face that means you won't change your mind. “And that's not debatable.” You add.

Despite the darkness, you see a smile playing on his lips.

Keanu doesn't complain, and half an hour later you're seating shotgun in his car in this grocery store parking lot, taking the piece of vanilla pie he bought you, with strawberries on top. Using a plastic fork, you start eating, your body immediately grateful for the shot of sugar. Or maybe it's just your head, but it is delicious.

“Do you want some?” Turning your body towards him, you fold a leg underneath you.

“No, thank you.” Keanu smiles, shaking his head lightly.

“Are you sure?” Taking one of the strawberries, you bite it, sucking on your thumb when you notice you got some frosting on it.

“I am.” He assures you, starting the car again. Sitting back straight and buckling up, you focus on your pie, watching the city lights passing through the window. “Remember when I told you about how our marriage was a secret? That we wanted to keep it private for as long as we could?”

“I do.” Nodding, you finish the pie, laying the empty plastic box on your lap. Keanu told you that at the hospital. He's a public figure, and you agreed on keeping your relationship only to yourselves. “Why?”

“People will know now. The news are already spreading ever since I took you to the hospital.” He glances at you. “I just wanted you to know. It won't be a secret anymore.”

“Alright.” Nodding, you turn your attention back at the window. “I'm a little dizzy.” You mutter, running a hand through your hair.

“Do you need me to stop?”

“No, I'm alright.” Closing your eyes, you try to focus on anything else than your sick stomach. Or the headache.

“Do you want to hold my hand?” The offer gets you by surprise, eyes opening to look at Keanu. You can't help but wonder if you usually hold hands as he drives, or if he's just trying to help you feel better.

After a few seconds considering it, you nod, quickly taking his hand. Intertwining your fingers with his, you breathe in deeply, the free hand laying on your stomach. “So... We should watch some of your movies.” Trying to distract yourself, you bring up the subject.

“Sure.” He stops by the red light, taking the time to look at you. “There's Matrix. It's about a programmer who is faced with the fact that his reality is controlled.” The light turns green and you start moving again. “There's John Wick. He's an assassin and this guy kills his dog so he starts hunting him down.”

“Who would kill a dog?”

Keanu chuckles, taking a turn left. “You'll like it.”

“Yeah. We should watch it... Together, I mean.” Quickly, you add, wondering if that's something he'd like to do. “When you have time, of course.”

“You're my priority now,” Keanu says, thumb caressing the back of your hand. “I took some time from the company I work at, so I'll be around a lot.”

“Alright.” Smiling, you nod.

You're almost falling asleep when the car stops, but you manage to push the door open and get out of the car. Keanu offers help, but you politely decline. He walks you to your room anyway, waiting until you lie down.

The night goes by faster after that, and the sunlight on your face is what bugs you enough to make you turn around, pulling the blankets over your head. But you're already awake, and hungry, so you just lie there for a few minutes before deciding to get up. It's funny how the first thing you think about every morning when you wake up is the child inside your belly. Caressing your still flat stomach, you smile. “Hi there, baby.” You whisper, wondering if he or she can hear you. “Why don't we... Why don't we go see if your daddy is awake?” Voice still weak, you blush to yourself to say such a thing, even in the privacy of your room. How could you do that? Get Keanu's eyes and marry him? He's not only handsome, but he has proven to be kind, caring, and loving. He's amazing.

Walking down the hall, you're about to knock on Keanu's bedroom door when you hear a noise downstairs and an awesome smell reaches you. It doesn't take much to you recognize it's bacon. He can't be making bacon, because it doesn't matter if you don't remember anything, you know a morning with bacon is perfect. Quickly, you go straight to the kitchen, stopping by the open area, observing Keanu from a distance. He is making bacon and something else, skilfully moving through the kitchen. But when he turns around, he spots you, raising his eyebrows. “Hey.” You mutter, smiling, and walking over him.

“Hi, beautiful,” Keanu says, and the pet name makes you blush. Placing both plates down, you see what he made. Waffles and bacon, a dish that looks a little more complicated than you thought. “Made you something nice.”

“It smells absolutely amazing.” Feeling timid suddenly, you lean against the countertop. “What do we do when we wake up?”

“What do you mean?” Keanu asks, taking both plates and gesturing for you to follow him to the square wooden table he has in the kitchen.

“Uhm... Do we just wake up and...” Running a hand through your hair, you don't really know why you brought it up. It just felt a little cold. “I don't know. Do we just say ‘hi’ and that's it?” Watching as he puts both plates down, you awkwardly stand beside him.

Keanu looks down at you, those dark eyes making you stand up a little straighter, involuntary moving just a bit closer. “We usually hug.” He says after some seconds of silence.

The idea makes you smile. Waking up and hugging your husband, surrounded by this amazing smell in such a beautiful morning. “Let's hug then.” You give the idea, but you don't move, unsure if he'll even want to do that. Maybe, just maybe, Keanu feels like you're a stranger too. You may look like his wife, but only on the outside. Inside, everything is gone. This thought makes your heart sink, and you step back, looking down with some tears starting to pool in your eyes. “I-I'm sorry, I just thought that... Nevermind.” You're turning around, seeking a chair to seat when you feel Keanu gently grabbing your arm.

“Come here.” He calls in a low voice, delicately pulling you into his open arms.

You collapse against his chest, trying hard not to cry. Hugging his midsection, you can't help but notice how smaller you are compared to him. But this makes you feel safe, secure. Allowing his heartbeat to calm you down, you take a deep breath, the pain in your chest fading away. You don't want to let go, but you know you'll have to in a while. You can't just hold on to Keanu forever, and this is supposed to be just a good morning hug.

He's been lying to her for a while now, on a regular basis. About why people didn't know about her, about why they still haven't chosen the baby's room. And now, he just said they use to hug. They don't.

As Keanu has his arms around her, embracing, holding the girl tightly against him, he can't help but curse himself. He wishes this could be real. Maybe, in completely different circumstances or another reality. But not here. She's still (Y/N), and he's still just looking after her. Making her feel safe, so her child will be safe too. Her child alone, not his.

A single sob escapes her lips as he rubs her back softly. He doesn't want to let go, but he knows he has to. (Y/N) isn't his, it doesn't matter how much Keanu wishes it could be different. But for now, he's willing to be what she needs. To hug her every morning. Keanu's mind is moving faster than ever, too many conflicting thoughts racing through. But right now, just for this brief moment, he'll let all those things go. He'll just hold her.

It takes a while, but (Y/N) moves, stepping back and raising her head to look into his eyes. Keanu swears he loses himself in her for a moment, like he's drowning. She smiles, sighing, wiping off a tear that rolled down.

“Well, good morning.” She mumbles, a small smile crossing her lips. Keanu reluctantly let go, gesturing for her to sit and that's what she does.

He can't help but smile too, all the way through breakfast. He answers her questions, taking in her face, lit up by the morning light coming through the windows. His heart is full like it has never been before. How could a woman he met only a while ago make him feel this way? It's insane, yet, Keanu doesn't want to feel any different.

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