#but also. the doctor isnt trans in a human way at all

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

said this to a friend before so apologies for being tacky by repeating myself but consider the doctor's discomfort with being placed in Man as a category as less of a refusal of gender than a refusal of adulthood

because thats what it is, right? the doctor's always been vaguely not-a-man in the same way and maybe sometimes in the same breath as they are vaguely not-a-human and also purposefully childish

Man and Woman are adult categories. you get to be in them by performing gender the right way, but also by being mature. and when youre in them you get a certain amount of respect for being Man or Woman, the respect of doing gender right PLUS being an adult right. degendering and infantilisation and dehumanisation often happen like, together, right?

i think the doctor's refusal of being put in a category of Man is about that maturity thing a lot more than it is about gender. i think the doctor has actual thoughts and feelings about adulthood, or maturity, or Whatever, about Being A Child and Being A Not-Child and Being Not A Child and Not Being A Child. i think they have ACTUAL opinions on that whereas they havent given gender more than a sideways glance. i think it makes a lot more sense and is a lot more true to the text to interpret their statements about manhood through that lense than anything to do with gender

theyre a lot more of a posterboy for children's rights than a posterboy for nonbinariness and i like them way better that way too. if they met a nonbinary person they'd not be surprised or confused it'd not be a deal to them but also i dont believe they'd relate it to themselves at all. when they meet children they do relate, they do place themselves in the same spot, they are on the children's side.

[the-fort-official]

THE CITIZENS:

PRIME APPLES: great and powerful leader of the fort. He may not be fair, or mature, or kind, or just... But honestly who cares he is funny sometimes.

Robo-Prime: he is back from the grasp of the average arcade owner in whatever fucked up sub-multiverse the text doctors live in. And by average I mean only, apparently. Anyways, he is basically prime but with more offense and less defense. Yes, the robot can take less hits than the human. Ironic, I know

Robo apples: head of engineering, and avid hater of fazbear entertainment. His past with them is spotty at best. Also, he doesn't like pizza. Which is weird. Probably trauma...

Control Apples: head of science and with the ability to express himself as well as a cardboard cutout. He does feel emotions, he just cannot show them. At all. Something about one of those therapy beds that was a O.O.P. (Object Of Power). He also likes burning things. Like, more than most Versions.

The tank (formerly known as Fallout apples): bright green power armor, yet blends in better than some people with stealth boys. Want to try to silence a fat man? He's your guy. Also for drugs. He makes all the drugs. ex-soldier of three wars. One for Alaska. One for Vegas. One for Boston. All three for his survival. And maybe fun on that last one.

Felix (fur-merly known as Fursona apples):, Engineer, former leader of the Regrettables (both the faction and the band). He got his time in the limelight. Now he is a actual character! And with the free trauma too. Also he made a lil ring to propose with so... don't tell Will.

Looper: robotic* mercenary for hire. Hope you got the gold! Also there are hundreds of him running around because of time loop shenanigans. Some of them even canonically fuck. Do with that information what you probably won't. (*He isn't a robot, technically. It's a techno-organic virus. He still has all the bits, just robotic. Minus nose, unless it's a snapshot of him with a snout. )

Fog killer: Also known as the apple themed streamer, the apple themed mayor, and the guy with a bigger arcade than @the-arcade-doctor, he is a totally normal and sane botanist trust me bro. Ignore the vines slowly leeching all your blood that's natural. (Now available to talk to on the @evil-group-that-hates-the-fort blog :3. )

Fog survivor: He is an engineer. He solves practical problems. Also works as a medic. He used to be scared of his own shadow. Now nothing phases him. Except getting stabbed because that still hurts.

Clone 007: traumatized asshole with no sense of friendly fire. He will kill anything in his way, no matter if they are helping him or not. Also he has extreme trauma, abandoned issues, and mood swings. The last one isn't related to his past, it's related to his very DNA.

Cashew: A young creature in an old automaton. He is basically a nutcracker from lethal company with some damages. And shorter. Still taller than the average dude, but small for a nutcracker.

Zweifel: What happens when you put a teen so far in the closet he tricked himself into thinking he isnt gay, into a endless colorful hell of wacky whimsical adventures? A hatred of the circus and a fear of vr.

The Angel Of hypocrisy, Nicholai: A homophobic and transphobic douchebag who should eat shit and die. Depending on which version you meet, the name makes more or less sense. Because post time skip, he gets a trans-mask boyfriend who he loves with all his heart. Even ignoring the fact his boyfriend is a serial killer. (If I reference El Carnicero, this is who I'm referring to)

Pixel: Kleptomaniac heister with more kills from just using the environment to his advantage than with his actual weapons.

Stuffie (Formerly known as Monster Apples.): see @plushiemonstervoid I ain't repeating myself.

Satchel: living puppet made from old junk like torn towels and potato sacks. He is tall, lanky, and overall intimidating. He is also a complete pushover who literally can only attack with yarn. Normal yarn. Not exactly lethal.

Demons-Bane: a demon that kills demons. Simple as that.

Warface Apples: currently turned into an anthropomorphic raven for fuckin with... I don't remember, one of @ignisuada 's characters. Generic military dude #171. Nothing special.

Warframe apples: Sneaky, but like stealth in the Deadpool game. He has lore, I just forgot it.

Metal gear apples: god im not even going to bother trying to tie this fucker in with all the bullshit lore this game has. He is a super-soldier. He has a flamethrower. That is all thats important at this point in his non-existent lore.

More to come. Check for edits. Lore is ever-changing after all.

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

I found your art a few years ago and read some of ur writing but

I barely know anything about your egos. Do you have a guide for that somewhere?

hi there!! ahhhh i actually dont have a specific guide currently for everything D: i never really thought anyone would be interested! i did start working on a website awhile ago but it got to be kinda a huge project and i never finished it (i should revisit that 🤔) but i can give a quick rundown right now!

basically in my universe Jack is this mysterious figure that can create life and the 6 egos are his creations. they arent regarded as siblings or anything, but are more regarded as a found family/tight group of friends.

jackie is in his late 20's and is a schizophrenic trans guy. he's very kind and loving towards others and is best friends with chase. marvin is a stage magician who has actual sorcerer powers, and has very cat-like features like slit pupils and claws. they are nonbinary and are about the same age as jackie. henrik is in his 40's and is a wacky surgeon who DEFINITELY has a very real doctorate and license to perform medical procedures. very tall and sassy. anti is a non-corporeal parasite of a demon that needs a host to live. he killed jack and took his body as his own, where he began living a mostly human life as a psychiatrist, with a house and everything. he's naturally very sadistic and enjoys hurting others, and fucks up the lives of the other egos in some way. chase is a twitch streamer and certified Silly Little Man. hes got a lot of issues with mental health, trauma, and addiction, but hes actively trying to be a better person and heal. jameson was created by jack specifically to be antis husband to keep anti complacent and occupied. hes pretty messed up from anti's treatment of him, and gets in relationships with both jackie and henrik.

thats like a suuuuper basic overview of the characters, but i'll probably start working on a cohesive breakdown of everybody. maybe.

my lore is also all over the place and i tend to not pin everything down so there isnt much of a cohesive story. in general a lot of what happens is character-driven, with anti being the main antagonist. if u have any specific questions about these little guys i can definitely answer them!

[grimsshelves]

Doctor Who, but I've only seen edits and gifts of the show

The protagonist is the Doctor. They are a Time Lord, an alien specie with the coolest name ever

They have time abilities.

There is a time travelling machine called the Tardis. It is a blue British phone box for some reason.

It is bigger on the inside.

The Doctor doesn't die they just become another person. They keep their previous memories even if it is not obvious.

Ninth has anger issues

Apparently, there was a trouple going on with Rose, Jack Harness, and Ninth

The Doctor joinks young woman to be their- emotional support human? Their morality compass? Angst inducer?

Tenth would like to be ginger

He isnt. He is very much David Tennant coded

Tenth falls in love with Rose. Platonic or romantic I don't know.

Rose dies, not really, but in practice, it's like she died. Cause she is prisoner of an alternate dimension forever

The Doctor goes silly girl and genocidal goose

Insert Time Lord Victorious Memory Reboot edits

The Doctor meets Donna

Instant Platonic soul mates for life

Space man and Earth girl forever

The Waters of Mars are a masterpiece (I've never watched it)

Midnight is super scary

Don't blink

Oh yeah, the Daleks, looser robots

There is a trampoline woman

The Master clearly has feelings for the Doctor

I'm starting to think those are not unrequited

They have something going on okay?

The Master tries to be the British Prime Minister. I wish he would.

There is a family with an insufferable boy with dark hair. The Doctor punishes them severely, including a little girl, but I was told it was completely deserved.

The doctor goes on a little Farewell tour which is not something worrying concerning their mental health nonono.

Regeneration Feels like dying, why is this show so angsty Rusell T Davis

The Doctor regenerates alone after crying out "I don't wanna go". Drinks your angst juice everyone.

Eleventh is here, and I know nothing of him

He is silly goofy goose but in a non-genocidal way this time

He must die cause Pierre Capaldi arrives and rocks

He has cool sunglasses and plays guitar.

Twelth spends a million years in solitary confinement. All so that Clara doesn't die. This seems excessive.

How the doctor is even slightly sane is a mystery to me

Twelth delivers heartwretching lines like "Did you think I care so little that betraying me would make a difference?"

The Master is back. They have Tension. Mostly sexual

Thirteen goes to space jail. I know nothing of their season but I love them.

There is a Childless story line that the majority of the fandom hates. I think it explains their regeneration ability. It also severs the identification the Doctor has with the Time Lords as his people. Cause he got tortured to give the Time Lords immortality or something.

Fourteenth is Tennant the Return.

He can articulates his feelings now.

Donna has her curse lifted

TRANS RIGHTS

There is a lot of jumping around and crying

Donna melts on the floor, but it's fine cause it's not the real one

The Toy Maker is a bad silly goose, but he sure can dance.

Fourteenth has an happy-ever-after ending, thanks for your mercy russel

Fifteen is hot and wonderful.

Spoiler alert Fifteen is actually not okay

[4uru]

I want to save the world. I want people to live happier lives. I want to make things better. But i dont know how. I used to want to be a doctor when i was a kid. Bc i wanted to help people.

Now i want to be an artist. I look at all the bad things happening in the world and tell myself that "when im older, i will help, in any way i can" but i dont know if my art will be impactful enough. And if my art fails to help, i dont know what else i can do to make a difference. I dont know if i can make enough money to give to charity one day. I dont know if i can help.

Sometimes im so scared of not being able to help. Bc right now i live in a country where women, disabled people, queer and trans people are being shitted on heavily. And i also fall under those catagories. Right now i dont have any power or means to help anyone including myself.

All i can do is study hard to get out of this situation and country. To go to a better place. But i already feel guilty. What will happen to the queer kids who cant get out. The trans kids. I feel selfish for wanting to save myself.

I literally wish the toxic abusive older generation to die out. But the thing is my generation is also extremely bigoted. It isnt better. They are just more exposed to it. They arent more tolerant of it. Im so scared. I feel like things are getting so much worse.

When i figured out i was queer years ago i was filled with so much energy. To do more. To help more. In any way i could. I did it by educating myself. To learn the history of queer ppl. I was a kid and i wanted to help. Then i got sick of it. I got sick of reading all the comments telling me i am a mistake and a freak, i got sick and tired of arguing with ppl who just wanted to hate. I finally understood the fact that u cant change a mind that isnt willing to change. Ppl will hold on to their beliefs with their teeths. I finally understood its not my job to throw myself at a pack of wolves to get my point across.

So i learnt to stay a bit quite i learnt to see different perspectives and arguements. I still cant watch the right wings yell about how i am a confused chronically online girl who wants to be different. Sorry, i am not strong enough for that. I learnt to hear different points and see where i disagree and where i dont. I am a teenager and i have alot of growing left to do. But i think im getting my energy back a bit. Even tho its more wrath than the starry eyed hope i had when i first started out. Bc at first i genuinely believed you can change peoples mind. Right now i believe that you have to fight. I could rip myself apart and show them what i am made of and who i am and they would still not understand. They denied me basic human respect. So i am respecting myself. I dont need their validation to be me. I already am. I dont owe people an explanation of myself.

I know people wont take me srsly bc i am not an adult. But i know they wont take me srsly ever. I was born to be never taken srsly by anyone ever. I dont even plan to persue a career where i can be. But god i have so much to say. I have so many angry rant to yell at the top of my lungs.

I think the logical thing to do is to transfer them to my art. But i cant do it. Its too painful for me. To spend time of it, fester in the fury. To make it perfect to get my point across. I cant decorate it. I want to throw it againt a wall. I want it to be chaotic and violent i dont want to stain my hands with paint i want to shred my own vocal chords. There is not canvas big enough for it. Also i dont want my art to reflect my wrath, my stinging pain, i dont want to look at smth i made and feel bad.

I dont know what to do. Should i go ahead and make angry vent art for the hope that it might make a difference, at the expense of my own mental health? Or should i just wait quietly. Until i am hopefully successful enough. Both are a gamble. Hate that none of my peers are going through this. They are not marinated in wrath and dont have to scourge after crumbs of empathy.

I am very lucky to be born in a generation where i get more representation and i have internet to engage with my community more. But even that community sometimes feel like a stranger to me.

I just want to scream.

[dropverses]

Cian, info from @/ashkinoshita

still relevant :

very possessive over others hes close to

depends on other people in order to function emotionally

takes anti-anxiety medication and becomes unfunctional without them

due to his species, his medication dosages either have to be much, much stronger than other species’s or it has to be special dragon medicine

prefers to be in unhealthy relationships and have unhealthy dynamics with others

the only person this is not the case with is his sister

the opposite of flexible

does not have friends

refuses to admit when hes wrong about something, and will blame any and everything else for his mishaps

makes himself seem more intimidiating than he is through the way he dresses

hates the feeling of makeup on him

easily bothered by words/gestures/etc that can be seen as negative

has bodily dysphoria

switches between hypersexual and sex repulsed

doesnt shave

he has no hair to shave save for whats on his head

stims by pacing around aimlessly

has obsessive-compulsive disorder

has autism

very sensitive to temperature changes

has resting bitch face

virgin lol

enjoys biting things

dislikes children

is very cleanly

dislikes when separate foods on his plate touch

outdated :

afab genderfluid

he is now a trans man

has freckles

not wrong? what appears to be freckles are scale-like bumps

becomes abusive and harasses others when ghosted

has a drug addiction

intentionally misgenders others

refuses to consume alcohol

would be horrible at archery

chest tightens when anxious

a stalker

has birthmarks

im too uncreative to think of birthmarks

has hyperdontia

not in his humanoid forme. and in his dragon forme, it isnt seen as hyperdontia

enjoys shiny things

wears makeup daily

bratty and prone to temper tantrums

i wouldnt say hes a BRAT, he just doesnt know how to socialize properly. his “temper tantrums” are moreso overstimulation

other tidbits from his original owner :

cian devlin, 24, 6'0, genderfluid, aromantic androsexual (they/them, she/her, he/him). a fae, a dragon. theyre very picky and are generally a misanthropist, sticking out from other fae. they dislike and are disgusted with most humans, but have an obsession with brendon.

cian devlin - asshole doctor who isnt involved in anything good and is older than he looks

cian splits and probably becomes hostile/physically aggressive with who abandons them

cian is really pushy and mean with their crush

cian views sebastian as a rival. but again, it’s out of hatred and sebastian doesn’t see it like that

cian messes around with sebastian. they just subtly say things that put him down. they generally act very mean to him. they also go out of their way to hurt ash for interacting with brendon. theyve tried smothering ash

cian hates ash because theyre on good terms with brendon (who pities them). cian hates everyone on good terms with brendon. theyve actually tried smothering ash to death because of it

cian can sing, by singing i  mean Powerful Dragon Noises

cian is the type who would [run a hate blog] but fortunately they dont involve themself with the internet

cians covered in tattoos/markings. theyre because cian is an Actual    Dragon

cian?? cian is just always angry. they want brendon to themself and they want to be left alone. thats all

cian [is a backseat driver]. they just want to make people feel incompetent 

cian may be a part of [a gang or organization]

cian is an ass with their religious beliefs but..theyre an ass about everything

cian likes mystery things. they are always confident they will know the answers before they are revealed

cian will be absolutely disgusted [by cheesy romcoms]. they have no time for this bullshit

cian fucking hates [halloween]. they dont like kids and they especially dont like kids approaching them

cian would run a gore/horror/creepy/medical blog

cian would be a cranky alligator [animal crossing villager]

cian has been responsible for deaths of people surrounding brendon.. they are very possessive

cian goes out of their way to treat sebastian like shit (which he doesnt even catch onto) and has tried smothering ash to death. theyre also responsible for rosalies death. why? all of them have gotten Too Close to brendon

[somnilogical]

<<Over the past year, however, Google has appeared to clamp down. It has gradually scaled back opportunities for employees to grill their bosses and imposed a set of workplace guidelines that forbid “a raging debate over politics or the latest news story.” It has tried to prevent workers from discussing their labor rights with outsiders at a Google facility and even hired a consulting firm that specializes in blocking unions. Then, in November, came the firing of the four activists. The escalation sent tremors through the Google campus in Mountain View, Calif., and its offices in cities like New York and Seattle, prompting many employees — whether or not they had openly supported the activists — to wonder if the company’s culture of friendly debate was now gone for good.

(A Google spokeswoman would not confirm the names of the people fired on Nov. 25. “We dismissed four individuals who were engaged in intentional and often repeated violations of our longstanding data-security policies,” the spokeswoman said. “No one has been dismissed for raising concerns or debating the company’s activities.” Without naming Berland, Google disputed that investigators pressured him.)>>

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/02/18/magazine/google-revolt.html

<<“Of the five people that were fired, three of us are trans women,” Spiers said. “That is either an unbelievable coincidence or Google is targeting the most vulnerable.”

“Trans Googlers make up a very small percentage of Googlers,” she added. “They make up a slightly larger percentage of organizers, but not 60%.”>>

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/dec/17/fifth-google-worker-activist-fired-in-a-month-says-company-is-targeting-the-vulnerable

i too am transfem and would "violate longstanding data-security policies" if my organization were being unjust. i wouldnt say that unless it were already obvious by what bits ive leaked to people about my life, because otherwise i could suppress this information and whistleblow more.

if you were an evil corp at this point youd probably try to avoid hiring any trans women in the first place because given this happens to you, its likely done by a transfem. not that this saved CFAR, who never hired a trans woman, from having a bunch of transfems whistleblow on them despite not being employees.

from what ive read from transfem google employees who are or were involved in activism, the degredation of google's culture. their complicity with ICE and weapons manufacturing mirrors CFAR's with OpenAI and DeepMind; authoritarianism and expulsion of transfems who object to this among a myriad of wrongs. to protect the territory of injustice and complicity with organizations like ICE, google needs to import "a consulting firm that specializes in blocking unions", CFAR needs to violate their whistleblower policy. if you once protect injustice, justice is ever after your enemy. morality isnt some modular thing such that you can be comitted to protecting injustice and not have this choice spiral into also invoking and protecting systems that protect injustice and invoking further things to protect those, recursively. all the way down to doing really dumb and obvious unjust things like transmisogyny (lots of future posts), changing your fundraiser after its clear its losing money, announcing that this year you got way below your donation target and claim to have no idea why.

well *i* know the compact generator for all of these things, and that makes me strong. unlike MIRI/CFAR who like the CDC rely on gaslighting the populace for myopic gains. i also wore a particle mask during the time that the CDC claimed that they were useless to preventing spread of disease, so it was really important to give them to doctors and nurses.

after so much gaslighting, *i* have built up general capabilities at arbitraging the difference between what agents claim and the truth. people who say:

<<Edit: This is a type of post that should have been vetted with someone for infohazards and harms before being posted, and (Further edit) I think it should have been removed by the authors., though censorship is obviously counterproductive at this point.

Infohazards are a real thing, as is the Unilateralists’s curse. (Edit to add: No, infohazards and unilateralist’s curse are not about existential or global catastrophic risk. Read the papers.) And right now, overall, reduced trust in CDC will almost certainly kill people. Yes, their currently political leadership is crappy, and blameworthy for a number of bad decisions—but it doesn’t change the fact that undermining them now is a very bad idea.

Yes, the CDC has screwed up many times, but publicly blaming them for things that were non-obvious (like failing to delay sending out lab kits for further testing,) or that they screwed up, and everyone paying attention including them now realizes they got wrong (like being slow to allow outside testing,) in the middle of a pandemic seems like exactly the kind of consequence-blind action that lesswrongers should know better than to engage in.

Disclaimer: I know lots of people at CDC, including some in infectious diseases, and have friends there. They are human, and get things wrong under pressure—and perhaps there are people who would do better, but that’s not the question at hand.>>

https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/h4vWsBBjASgiQ2pn6/credibility-of-the-cdc-on-sars-cov-2/comment/uDYbgf3QtEQirbsJk

havent. its easy to see how peoples minds are warped when its someone elses glowy thing, when its someone elses friends working for an institution that that someone else routed their hopes through.

its easier to recognize betrayal and see knowledge beyond the veil when its happening to someone else, instead of you.

until you build up general skills for recognizing it, this sort of betrayal isnt infinitely powerful. and like how you might expect that smart people who live for predation would do anti-inductive smart predatory things, but they end up converging on child sex rings; institutions that betray you, because justice is their enemy will start doing dumb unjust things like banning two people from speaking about their irl experiences with anna salamon, saying their first-hand accounts werent evidence and then citing anna salamon's first-hand account of the meeting as evidence. when i objected that this was a fucked up self-serving ontology of "evidence" they acted like i was objecting to "beliefs flow from evidence" and they acted as if what i was saying was obscure and beyond their ability to comprehend. their "incomprehension" was fake, downstream of a fear to dynamically compute things in front of other people that might end up outside the orthodoxy. the result of which is they display a blue screen of death and say “i just dont understand and aaa dont explain this to me!!!”. and then people agree that it "seems like it could be an infohazard" because when your goal is the preservation of the matrix, everything that tears it down looks like hazardous information.

or a cfar employee, in response to claims that anna's transmisogyny influences CFAR's hiring choices, claiming that anna salamon, head of CFAR, is not involved in CFAR's hiring. until i post proof from another CFAR employee pursuing personal vengeance against the org for hiring their rapist where its tangentially mentioned and they suddenly "realize" that anna salamon, head of CFAR, is involved in CFAR's hiring process.

or a thousand other injustices that have burned themselves into my brain during my months of talking with people under the assumption that they were simply mistaken in their path to saving the world. when they were actually un-mistaken in their path to having babies and a low chance of personal death. hoping and expecting someone else will take heroic responsibility for the planet.

like when you drill down to the base of injustice, it bottoms out in dumb and petty injustice. like the structure doesnt go infinitely high and complex, if you go down to the base level, you just need a bit of courage to not flinch away from what you see even if it seems that it means the ruin of something you ran your hopes and dreams through.

--

"isnt this a little... extreme?" i hear some people ask. ""dont protect regions of injustice?" that sounds like the end product of obsessive compulsive fixation on virtue at the expense of practicality."

well, assuming the algorithm seeding this response is a systemic reasoning tool, it should forkbomb when you consider if youd output ""dont protect regions of untruth?" that sounds like the end product of obsessive compulsive fixation on virtue at the expense of practicality." in response to eliezers essay. the principle behind both is the same such that if you hold by one you should hold by the other.

all of these things have parallels. if you want to see what is happening with MIRI/CFAR, theres a lot of mutual information with whats happening with Google.

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[smallgayblanket]

New/revised/whatever- List of stuff

Egos (Marks/Jacks) that I have written for or at least actually have thought about HCS/other universes for:  (Just some brief rambles about them, please don't hesitate to ask about them :3)

  -Anti,   Two takes really, I like him soft, like him mean, hes just fun to write, plenty of different ways to spin why he acts out, what he is and all that. My current fav way to portray him is a missing piece of Seans soul, which means hes unstable as a ‘person’ (cough, not really a human but not, not human either.)  And how he has static filled blue eyes but usually hides them with the scary emerald green...

-Jameson,  I will always stand by this kinda universe i created with a friend aages ao that Shawn took away Jamesons voice when being puppeteered by an awful ink creature that shares his body.  Giving Jameson a lovely fear of knives, some scars, and some very damaged vocals..

-Crank, Oh my fucking boi, a near dead human spliced with a bunch of robot parts..human skin tangled with wires and a heart incased in metal..hes a right mess, a voice in his head that makes him feel all sorts of bad.. He tries his best..he cries oil,  I hardly get to write  him but I love him.

-Blank, another big fav oi, black hollow eyes..a tendency to faint... My Hc involves him having been in an accident that almost killed him, leaving him with a very rare heart condition. He also has an aura which..kinda ties into him having a few abilities and stuff. 

-Nes.. He started off as my own kinda Ethan ego, basically Ethan who was mistreated and really lost his marbles..hes great for the real twisted messed up kinda stuff, so dependant on others, a minor murderer, and has been eyed off by a certain ice cream driver for quite some time...

-Were eth,  Okay granted this was literally just kinda an idea that..Eth became a were wolf boi, fangs, tail, ears. Hes just a fun lil pupper

-Eden. Succubus Ethan basically, but well, he again kinda turned into his own thing separate from Ethan. He's got a tail and wings, and hes a lovely lithe thing. He doesnt dare do things without consent, just gets a bit touchy-feely when hes gone without any energy for too long. Very wide stunning saphire eyes. 

- Jackie  Oh my lad..Buff, trans, adorable, sweet. I always love tinkering around with how/what powers he has tbh..and like- I’ve always had the hc that his eyes are lilac?? or gold. Depending on things.. and he works either at a comic book store, a gym, or at the counter of a gas station. Gives the best hugs. Also I love AUS where hes a phoniex because of uhm?? Big fucking red wings??? YES.

-Hen, Getting his accent right is tough but other than that I love writing about the tired doctor living off coffee and ignoring himself in favor of others. 

-Chase The fucking best dad, sunshine lad. Running a vlogging channel and doing his best while combatting depression..I hc him to have chronic fatigue so he has to push himself extra hard. but He does well in trying to get better and look after himself and only slips up like any other helpless human. Very fun to write. 

- Robbie.   Sof.t zombie lad. Drown in a sweater. Stutters and is v quiet. Slow with speech. Struggles to see sometimes. Loves soft textures.Loves attention. Overall soft fucking lad.

-KOTS, To mean known as Simon. Actually v smart, big brain, very scattered n shy and nervous and squirrelish. Loves books n plants, loves nature. Red is his best colour. Warm sweaters and nuzzling and cuddling up. I always get torn between him being a hybrid of human/squirrel or just a lovely soft guy. 

-Yan ! My fem nb/trans gal! They’ll kick ass with their katana, have the hots for Bim, and looove Japanese culture and stuff. Very adorable. Loves pink. 10/10 love to write. 

-Technically I do have a muse for Mark, or..idea? I’m thinking about shoving it into my own oc/thing..but basically he got tortured n abused by Authy so hes not quite like the real life markimoo..just a nervous mess whose dealing with his traumas..

-Bing, Skater lad, yellow/orange eyes, sunflower vibes. Tries his best, clumsy as fuck, great for a laugh when hes not cowering under google. 

-Edward iplier,  Gah my doctor lad.. I have a hc that he Lost arm. In fire..or by dark n wilf.  He has heterochromia too!! One cho ceye one blue one. He is a fucking nerd (Minor adhd lets be honest) He fucking loves space and science and space/science related lights. He has a bat plus with spacey wings. He likes reading, likes being clean and is quite a quiet indulger in food which has left him with a big of a softer figure. Super gentle nature..nothing like the arrogant portrayal we got in some videos. 

-Angus   I love this man!!! Part Aussie, part irish, a whole lot of gruff old dad with a soft spot for nice people and animals, has his own big place, next to a large ass forest. Loads of scars. Loves boots and cameo coloured clothing. A lovely guy when you get past the rough edges. 

Aand onto all my ocs as of writing this (cause you name well know I be writing new ones like..all the time.) 

--------------------

OC’S (My original characters!)

-Jessy, Cowboy-   Choker with gold bell. Lil ears/horns. Spots. Shy but sweet. Hands and feet different colour to rest of skin. Kinda  fur ish feeling rather then just straight-up skin.  Pear shaped figure. Shy lad. Likes to take lots of naps, anxious easily but a big people pleaser too. 

-Ailan and Keros. Moth n butterfly boi.  (Literally just made up with a friend, just a random soft pair of lads tbh nothing too fleshed or spesh)

- Louie - Followed by a dark being/creature/spirit... Yet to determine what else about him, but hes got brown hair, pointed ears and looks lovely in green.

-Quinton  A Hybrid of Demon and Angel otherwise called a Guardian. Quirky, Pan as shit, great dress sense. Extremely calm. Can see auras. Lovely black feathered wings. Bright blue hair.  Kind smile. Works at a little coffee shop in his spare time.

-Ori  Very pure angel boy, previously owned and not very well treated by a god, came crashing down to earth with no memories but his wings intact. Some help him. 

-Lumi  Ghost boy! Died years ago under awful circumstances..now lingers around on earth, sometimes meeting humans who happen to be able to feel or see his presence, he has the ability to make himself solid for short periods of time. 

- Lucio Witchy..dragon soul something or other- Deaf.Paralyzed? In the arms??They might use alot of energy trying to hover around instead of having to use a chair..(I mean how many witches do you see with chairs??).. Although they could not have use of their arms instead, like..paralyzed from the shoulder down- they still have them but theyre effectively useless and easily sore.. (which might make magic really hard, cause theyd have to master it again without their hand gestures.)

- Eztli, Bit of a prick. Basically got cursed to have really weird blood that replished and rejuvinated too fast/too much by a witch he angered. So he turned the curse into a good thing and basically goes out offering himself as a human blood bag for vamps willing to pay in info, items, cash or uh..other services..  

- Gallio Photographer, has hypocalcemia. Haven't really done much else with him tbh.

-Aomi Warlock/witch in training. Downright awful at it. Young and lives in a nice lil cottage outside of the village he was abandoned in.

- Lucas A moonstone gem perma-fusion, he kinda has SPD/DID but he doesn't, cause..hes two gems that became one but not fully. Leaving him to be a bit of a mess and not as strong as other moonstones. 

- Kiyan. A little assistant android!! Created to assist, he can make portals!, He works at a post office. Hes under surveillance by the company that made him and isnt yet aware of many human customs/emotions.. 

- Alex  A very confused, overly optimist Alien who doesn’t know what they are. Come from the planet Eutychia, 4'3. They fucking glow. You know  Kilowatt from space chimps? think that. But hair n freckles and more human and just as  bubbly and energetic. 

-Locus  Mer/Fish boi!  Transparent fins, glowy patches, plays harp + loves music.

-Lir  A Tiny Octopus/Human hybrid lad. Makes little burble and trill noises. Quite harmless. Needs a home. 

Benji (Strawberry shortcake boi- Cursed tape /bandages. Demi half god.? One eye. Uses notes. To communicate but also sign. Really. Good sweets maker)

 Small bois (A collection of tinys because G/T is fucking great okay?)

- Tobias. Literally Made of hair gel. cleary, adorable, aaand Eats soap..amoung other non food items he probably should not ingest but does..

- Hinto  Guy made of foam slime. Very chill n laid back.

- Glowstick bubs. (Alo/aloke -  Green and blue  +  Siro - Yellow n pink.  + Mavi (Vi) Red and silver. + Roxy (Ro) - Orange and  purple )  They’re a cross between glowsticks and lava lamps and its epic- asides the fact they have like.half a brain cell each. Lots of sleeping n lazign around.

- Theo  A tiny ink creature.  A clever little lad, who likes to drawn and write n paint in ink and leave cheeky little black splotches everywhere. A very good writer companion tho. 

- JellyBubs! A collection of tiny sentient jelly babies, hungry lads will raid your cupboards. 

-Miel A tiny little bee boy! Loves flowers <3 

Apocolyse Squad:

The planet Keres,  Left uninhabitable after the invasion that ruined the air and killed almost the entire race.

Sameal o’Ceirin (Being of smoke- partly blind.)

Mallory Thomas (Part cat. Vet, partner to Sam who ends up dying in the canon of their story)

Hamrish Benat  (Hayden. 4 eyes, soft tongue. PTSD. extra tiny heart in wrist. Quite fem/soft. Likes soap cutting vids and stuffed toys/teddies.)

Joshua who cares (An asshole. Staight up. He dies. Fuck him. He sucks ass.)

Andy peters (Strong, kind. Kinda like Tyler shied. Big, tol, but actually pretty soft.)

Adrian  Géarán  (Tail, fire abilities, likes to make little robots. Very weak n has a couple of disabilities that leave him tired n such, which aint great for his esteem or his team when the apoc hits.)

--

Wyatt ???? ?????????????????

Pace- Nerdy. Finds a cat. Observer for the aliens. Is immune to black goop. 

Four - buff. Scary. Deadly. 

Apocolypse Squad Part 2  Small lads who dont derese to be in danger: 

  -Apep, Naga boi  Legs mutate into a cool tail. Hisses, fangs. Adorable loves the sun. bout 20 years old. 

Chris. Camp leader! Biig dad type, redhead, buff, likes gardening and camping, very outdoorsy. Little awkward but great.

Small child Talise- nickname tails? ..   Blind and slightly traumatized by the car crash that killed his mother and ended up with glass in his eyes, very sensitive to noise n textures.     Ends up mutating tails.  6 v young n smol  blocks n colourin

Shirin Parvis. Crystal boi .. trained solider/ royalty.  Tried to warn people before the apoc hit and failed. Now tries to protect the small group of surviors he stumpbles across. 

 Zephaniah, mutation turns him into a  Chameleon basically, just.. a human one. He  Prefers Zeph. Big gamey Nerd-  gets a pet gecko.  16. Quiet. Loves Lazar skirmish and lazers. 

Moyachi, Cactus boi!! Plant bab. Loves water and has clear/lime green tinted aloe/herbal helpful blood. Spikes up at defense from bad people 18/ 19   likes drawing. Pretty grumpy and needs a break.

Colin, nicknames: Coco,  Lady bug lad, who is baby trans  mutation resulted in a weird Red/Orange skin condition basically.  Can predict weather v accurately.       Ballet/dance, 14   Likes cooking. 

Hotaru , Firefly bby  - Glowy bub with antenna,  possibly mutates wings.. Sassy and tired. Turns nocturnal as the apoc progressed. Also becomes Colins first love <3

Zeno  A Siren of sorts.  DC/ hip hopper/   Lost his arm in apoc.  He loooves music alot. Very purple aesthetic and checkerboards.

Liren Pichi, deaf peaches n cream aesthetic boi- Nickname Pichi.  He is alone during the apoc, sneaks aboard and ship and goes missing..

Neighbours AU:

They all live on the homeworld, Ermioni.

Lesbabs:

Blake Aglaia  A human with a gift of being able to put emotions into glass balls.. Red head, quite fem, but gay, sweet, but not mousy. 

Lynx ?? An alien and human, the alien somewhat resides inside its host but they coexist. Sometimes goes feral.  Alien half likes to go by Perse  (Percy)  They have cool looking saliva- viens that run down their arms that are pretty cool- sharper nails/claws. Tendrils. Large ol mouth. Lots of pointy ass teef. Lynx likes to train,go to gym, and kick ass. Big ass butch energy.

Demon fam:

Hyacinth  A six-armed demon with serious parent energy. Big gardener, his body grows flowers depending on his moods/strength of emotions. Purple neck length hair. Great at comfort and cooking. 

Rhys  A Demon with a great curiosity about humans has a sibling, Feri.  Rhys is a big nerd, but very hard to get to know. Not great with emotions, comes across a tad distant and cold without always meaning too. Loves candles and lots of autumn aesthetic. 

Anthos, AKa Ant. Rhys and Hy’s accidentally created/summoned a toddler.. and hes fucking adorable. 

Vato - V   Hy has another bub later on who's more purpley blue with red curled horns and 4 arms.. No tail.. 4 eyes. V cute and inquisitive. Less noisy and wreckless than Ant. 

Roommates:

Douglas Connelly  A regular chubby human bean! Learning to become a chef. He loves food, loves cooking and also loves dancing. Hes a big guy, big cudddler, but a little shy and akward at times. 

Donovan Amores  Real fricking cool and smokin hot Bartender with a love for dogs. Dougs roommate. Has glowing fuckin orbs- donates his heart to a fucking god is smooth as fuck, background heavily Spanish, moved when young.

Haris Alaksim Real name (lost in translation, Huitzilopochtli God of sun and war) ) - A god whom Dono is very close with and donates his heart two one every 3 years during the day of the highest sun. He is a god / Mouros.    Donovan refers to him as “Dios gentil”  or “ Viejo colibrí sabio”   (“El viejo colibrí sabio es un dios gentil” (The old wise hummingbird is a gentle god.)

Donovans Family

Rem (Looks after magical creatures- Cane is from Haris)

Oscar  (Not sure what trinket or power but He’s just a casual store worker w/ good arms. Surprisingly good with knives- perhaps has one from Haris?)

Nicole  (His only sister Makes clothes..possibly got some ability to do with seasons..?  Perhaps earrings or a bracelet from Haris)

Javi  (Makes jam, cute boy, wears cloaks. Maybe has a cute little jar necklace or magic jar??)

Luca (Trans bookkeeper- Talks to Haris most often and likes to ask questions..Has precious books...Possibly a special pen..) 

Forest bois!!

Cypress The soul of the forest - Mentor of Rem. Very calm, very wise. Kinda like master oogway type. 

Unicorn boi, Hes rare, missing a chunk of his horn. Dont hurt him. He doesnt even have a name.

Fyn. Mushroom boy. Protects a gate. Lost his twin during a human-caused fire. Very mad about it. 

Fie. Bat boy. Loves fruit. 

Moh. Fairy/incubus hybrid.  

Tucker. Bunny boi, Best friends with Ainsley. Got some like, punk vibes about him, piercings n such. Not as soft as one would expect but still nice at heart.

Ainsley. Fawn boi, clums, shy, round glasses,  Looks smart but doesn't always know stuff. Very unsure of self. 

Experiment AU: 

Izekiel Iris A being of Paint. Hes made of paint. He has trauma from being experimented on. Slightly depressed. Loves art, loved creating. also regresses to try to deal with said PTSD.  Hard to get to know at first. 

Matty  (Matthew Libelle)   An experiment, part human, part lizard, part dragon. Much smol.  Hes fucking baby and i adore him alot please do ask anything and everything about him. 

Cult bois:

-Nero Aakil   (Means Genius/Orange blossom)   Orange bub  - Leader. Smart. Telepathic link with all cult members.  V corrupted…  (Parents were rich and ignorant)

-Mao Cerise   Pink - Ditzy, Looks after their ‘little bird’ (aka Jey) 

-Jey Michael Cherubim   Fallen angel -  Corrupted..desaturating and weak.. Was summoned by the cult and captured as a trophy. 

-Jaden Hirav  Looks after a garden of plants both harmless and some not for master. Previously Neros old pet..His  The family was alright but he was moreso raised by like his mum and bro. He was kidnapped from his garden and never seen again. The cult ritual to initiate him into the group failed and he was spliced with plants making him near useless to the cult.

-Rowan maverick - Now known as  Rogue- Red. Lost their tongue. Does Not follow orders to the T but gets their job done.   Has another voice/god/soul looking out for them… Very assassin ready, very perceptive. Wants to get out the cult but knows theyre too far in.. Cool glowy words in the air because they don't have their tongue. Possibly only lives of medication and vitamin pills..possible OD? Possible addiction. They struggle alot with it. 

P - Pax -  God who watches over Rowan. Was killed by the Master but their spirt lives on.

Cato.   Purple - Another smart one.. Possible Wiccan?  Sadist. Mean. Tall.  Scary. Abuse. Twisted. Loves being in the cult. Eventually wants to host Masters soul.. 

Gin Short for Ginger but the real name is Xanthe.  Blind. Also another assassin like Rogue but more obedient.  Doesn't talk often out of fear. 

Benjamin Brandy  (Benji. B) is Gins friend, Gin is trying not to get him involved in the cult but was too late as B had previously already been cursed and dealt with mythical beings..

 Silver bub. Demir. A demon summoned by the cult to complete the collection. Wants out, very stressed.  

Adopted AU: (This is like a mess of some of the boys but younger and in a different timeline to their universes smushed together intoa kinda cute school/adoption au idea.)

Matthew is smol autistic, malnourished and heavily abused both mentally and physically, leading to selective mutism and being a small fragile easily tired bab.  He loves hanging in the library once he gets used to going to some schooling. Gets tutored by Chris? Goes to camp and helps around n has fun..

Jaden, loves the school garden, and likes science class. His family is alright, However he ends up mostly raised by his sister? Or brother? 

Iz is the lil art bab, also in foster care of a big family, not so much abused but semi neglected. Quiet.

Nero is the gifted nerdy child..Parents ignorant. They love history and fictional books and reading and learning.

Benji is the slightly older kid whos possibly maybe a little behind or delayed or..something, they help out with other kids as a buddy? They like to do cooking classes.

DA AU

So this Au was like..the Septic tank births all the egos.

Angus first- He has..some kinda strength I imagine/..

Then Anti, Hen, Jackie. Marv. 

Chase -  He kills himself because of Glitch- also falls in the tank a second time and ends up with odd powers. 

Glitch Starts off as very bad and misunderstood. Turns out they were just highly unstable and required medical treatment.  Their real name is Arius and they cant stomach solid foods all the time. Mostly a liquid diet. They have glitchy fits/static seizures. Very unpleasant. Can enter tech, and its not so great, can get trapped. Can absorb certain amounts of electricity because of this they Got hit by  ightning once and has epic lighting scars!! Up arms..some on neck. All over his chest and back. 

Septic clone AU

Sean giving up bits of soul to make clones ends up in coma

Experiments and torture and odd shit with the egos ensues??

Minecraft AU??  

Yeah i had weird ideas for a cute minecraft gang of minecrafters who had accidents involving getting merged/recded with other creatures traits ect. 

Vail.  -Vex / Human

Snow golom hybrid? Or Blaze?

Slimey boi

Kitsune

Panda lad.

Pokebabs au

Mainly for Matty, Iz and Blank.. were they have pokemon forms and when bonded with a human long enough can evolved into human forms?? 

Horned AU  (With Troiseh/Glitch-in-the-static)

Shiro  -Prince lad  (This is their lad :3)

Junji - Battery..whump/slave/lost prince 

Isao Asuka -  Shiros Royal Guard 

Alien AU

Hami if he were..alien instead of being a human in an apoc basically. 

Angel AU stuff: 

Good omens inspired boi

Leo Halvar   Part..humany..demon..Cambion are according to google "In late European mythology and literature, a cambion is the offspring of an incubus, succubus, or another demon with a human, or of an incubus and succubus"

Ryan  Hot archangel guy: One wing, demon hunter thing.. Good kinda reforming from a less nice lifestyle previously. 

Mute angel possibly demon idk- -   Latif? Emmet? Evan? 

Long fringe shy boy-  Cael / Lox

[tumblunni]

Wow, silence of the lambs fuckin sucks

Like all i'd ever heard of it was it was "a classic" ans i guess like most "classics" its just revolutionary for being the first example of a genre or something and now it just looks like a bigoted pile of shit unless you brace yourself with eighteen hours of "oh but its a classic tho" before pressing play

Like how did NOBODY EVER MENTION that the villain of the movie is literally a trans woman? A scary trans woman who kills "real" women to make a literal skin suit out of them. Also everyone constantly calls her a man throughout the film and like the only way they try to weasel out of it is by saying "some other transsexuals said he's bad, he's more badder and more not real and we're not saying all transsexuals are bad even though the entirety of this plot is him being scary because he's transsexual and being a threat to women because he's transsexual" Like straight up the plot is that she started murdering people because she was refused for transition surgery through legitimate means. And they try and play it like "oh the doctors Just Knew that this wasnt a real transsexual it was one of those Fetish Transsexuals hey we totally acknowledged there are some good ones so we're allowed to continue now right?" Like fuckin... "Oh this character isnt evil because theyre trans BUT theyre scary because they dress as a woman ans they kill woman because of being trans and we're constant gonna call them by their birth sex and not the name they chose because i guess we only respect trans people's truth if theyre The Good Ones". Like seriously whenever you call a bad trans person by their birth sex youre just showing that you dont really believe we're real and you just consider using our correct pronouns as some sort of white lie you do because you think we deserve it, and anyone who doesnt deserve it gets your goddamn honesty...

Like srsly i know that the whole "transsexual" thing was an actual sign of the times but i dont think the rest is, i think its just straight up "ha ha gross trans for scary shock value" lowest common denominator bullshit.

Also i honestly dont see the appeal in the main plot and i dont see why it became a classic except that its one of those cynical 'all humans are assholes and optimism is naive and can be totally broken ha see youre totally just as bad as us" things.

Cos the whole point is just... Bad guy threatens a lady for several hours. Manages to dismantle her entire worldview just by saying I AM BAD AND I ENJOY IT and TELL ME UR SAD BACKSTORY in like.. Overly eloquent ways i guess? Like what is even meant to be shocking about him yo, he's just the same as any other douchebag internet troll or for example my abusive father. And his entire fuckin argument is just the stupid idea that "being a psychologist makes you crazy and evil because ur talkin to lots of crazy people and theyre automatically evil and somehow its contagious". Like srsly why does that always get treated as "what an interesting point"?? So the movie is just this horrid irredeemable creepy asshole saying "oh i was a good guy once and talking to someone with a mental illness gave me an entirely different unrelated mental illness oooo im gonna give it to ya" Also "the fundemental truth of the world is being bad and selfish and killin dudes just for the jollies." And creepy ass critics say "wow he had a point wow what grey morality" and like ok thanks glad for the warning that youre someone i should be terrified of

And then the film just ends with him successfully leaving the protagonist all traumatized and more willing to make morally grey choices so OOOO he really did MAGICALLY PASS ON THE BRAIN DISABILITY I GUESS Ans also he got free and he's gonna go off on his jolly little way i guess. The only consolation that makes that less awful is the hope that it was just meant to be a scary ending and not really "he is right, stop hoping about anything good in the world and just go fuckin apeshit. Also trans women are somehow scarier than me somehow."

Blehh. I dont get it!

Is it literally only a classic cos the dialogue is all flowery when he talks his evil bullshit?

Also LOL after having that "fava beans and a nice cianti" scene hyped up i wasnt prepared for how unscary it is. Dear god he made such a silly noise and licked the window! That actor is trying way too hard holy shit what a good laugh omg

[persephones-progress]

BEING TRANS ON TINDER

(and pretty much every other dating/hookup app)

Here is the first tip regarding Tinder and other dating apps from me…to any other trans/enby/nonbinary/genderfull individual…DONT DOWNLOAD IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Pretty heavy tip right? It could suggest I’m saying, “dont date” or “dont fuck”. However I want to say you can choose to not participate in the norm and be content perhaps even more content in being celibate or doing the old fashioned thing and waiting till you meet someone at school, on the tram, or at work(that’ll make for a better story anyhow). I want to cite some psychology sources that speak on how dating apps lead to higher rates of depression and anxiety but you can just google those if you dont believe it off the bat.

This isnt going to be an argument telling you to never use apps or not have sex. Sex and dating is not, and will never be as simple as choosing your favorite ice cream. I want to share some stuff however, because out of the resentment, frustration and general pain I figure I could maybe help others avoid it or at least feel less alone.

Disclaimer: this is MY experience, it isn’t applicable to everyone, take what resonates leave the rest cuz its mine ultimatley.

(POV:femme pansexual cancerian ass bitch)

1. No type of man will ever validate or could ever validate your femininity in a sustainable way, this includes but is not limited to

-the MMA fighter who is somewhat successful at it, from 4 wins to 45 wins

-the tatted up bad boy who rides a motocycle, or is famous on tiktok, or owns a brewery

-the suit and tie buisness guy, accountant, engineer, IT guy, creative director etc

-the doctor in his mid forties who has a kid or two from his ex wife

-the guy who reminds you of the guys who would stare at you in high school while they also made fun of you

-the spiritual guy who puts catch phrases like “emotional maturity” and “genuine” in his bio

-the long haired rocker who looks at you like you’re the only feminine energy on earth

The side note to this is Ive matched, gone on dates with, and slept with all of the above, all of them ghosted, or expressed fear of dating, sure I can acknowledge that the women they see all experience a similar gambit of bullshit but ladies and theydies, its not ours to run. The inner bitch in 6 inch heels in me wants to say get the d*&^ and use them and ghost them but the hopeless romantic that has survived three different gender identities just overrules.

2. Men are around 80% more likely to become addicted to dating

-soooooo with the prime stock of apps available this is sorta self explanatory, they think they’re playing the field, finding new things, that an endless range of options will be available to them until their dying day, and in a sense those are facts. Of course the same applies to us femmes but these guys out here acting like they’re the only ones who swiped right on us, I mean what else gives them the audacity to say crap like “let me break your back out” as a greeting.

My point here is men are not going anywhere. Your time and energy IS.

3. Now this one will probably illicit a few eye rolls and to that I say roll on, but to anyone out there remotely spiritual, Wiccan, satanist, Christian etc I will say anytime you have sex YOU ARE EXCHANGING ENERGY WITH THE PERSON YOU’RE DOING IT WITH. So anytime you’re feeling exhausted and heavy, anxious or just straight up crappy after sex that is your body telling you that person ISN’T RIGHT FOR YOU.

Sex with the right person person is supposed to feel like a good workout, which ultimatly energizes you a day or so after the aches fade away. You’re actually not supposed to feel like a train hit you.

Ill explain further in saying that more then likely if you’re under the trans umbrella, SELF DISCOVERY has been a KEY in your journey. Its human nature to assume other people are similar to ourselves. We all talk about how cis-het people will never get it and most of them never ever will, but lets also discuss how and why a bit more. You’re version of SELF DISCOVERY is oceans deep different then that of a cis-het person, esp a cis-het male.

You sharing yourself with someone IS special, you sharing your time, your energy, your sexuality is and always will be SACRED and you can define sacred by any denomination of your choosing.

In conclusion I just want to say you deserve to be loved and respected, you deserve a slow kind of love, a love you maybe didn’t expect or never saw coming. A love that opens the door for you, a love that dances with you, a love that can be vulnerable with you. It might be a man, it might be a women, it might be someone who doesn’t ascribe to either. Ultimately along the way, until you meet that someone there is someone who desperately wants to love and respect right now, as you read this, and that person is YOU.

[mountlandme]

RANT AHOY

In short I have a lot of feelinsg about older generations and their views on younger generations

Today my landlady who lives in a 6 storey house (3 bedrooms, an office, two bathrooms, a kitchen, garden, two sitting rooms and a dinning room) in London zone 2 told me her house was small, that things were difficult in the 80s too (she had to get a mortgage while some friends married into money or inherited) and she was from the ‘get up and do it’ generation and hated all the negativity of my generation. That it didn’t matter if people have to move out of london (though was saying yesterday how she would never want to move out of London herself and would hate to be elsewhere).

Its so frustrating to hear how ignorant people can be when they live in little tiny bubbles of people just like them. I’m not saying that people had it easy or didn’t work hard in the past - ofcourse people did, they worked hard and that is how she has what she has now, she and her husband worked hard in jobs that weren’t exactly high earning jobs, they worked hard for many years to have a house which would be a secure place to bring up a family and pay for their retirement. Im not belittling that.

 I’m just saying that no matter how hard you work now if you don’t have parents who have a house, or become mega rich yourself, you aren’t ever going to get a house, and so have no security and no investment for the future. And yes I know that renting is more common in other countries but their rent always seems affordable. My generation are often paying around 70% of what they earn to live in tiny, badly build accommodation with bad facilities that aren’t suited to community or family - this leaves no money to save and everyone is always broke. There is a lack of social housing so there isnt an alternative if you cant make the rent. Thats also a big culture change, and my generation is the one having to go through that trauma of complete change of our reality to the expectations we were given as children.

She did say that it could be that we start trying to see a different type of people on the streets beyond the normal lot. Look out the window, its already happened - people are on the streets already just because they simply dont have the money to live indoors, and what is the normal lot, no one deserves to be homeless ever! Squatting is becoming heavily criminalised so you can’t even get off the streets and into somewhere sheltered, while the streets are being covered in spikes, like humans are pigeons to keep away from your precious walls.

People are being forced away from their support networks and employment opportunities because they can’t afford to live in London (and hell its not much better anywhere else). And yes that is bad to remove people from their family and friends, its easy to say its not a big deal when you own your own house that you can live in until you chose not to. Complete insecurity and being at the mercy of whatever whim may take the person who decides where you live is traumatic!!!!

Oh it will all even out. will it?? If it does it will because people fought to change it, it may look like things just sort themselves out when you dont go outside your own small bubble, but if you did you’d see all the people fighting hard to make the changes. But it might not, and even if it does its destroying lives now!!

How sensitive can people be that they can’t even bare to hear that something might be harder for someone else. It doesn’t diminish the hard work they went through in the past to admit that people work just as hard now, sometimes even harder, for a lot less and that isn’t acceptable!!!

I know doctors who work second jobs to be able to make rent, DOCTORS. I know a nurse who has just been able to get her first mortgage on a property a TWO AND A HALF HOUR commute away from where she works. Shift work is difficult enough without adding 5 hours travelling a day on top of it just for the chance of investing in a home for her future. 

Im not being entitled, it is a failure of society that young people can work themselves to the bone and do ridiculous things just to be able to have a roof over their heads - and some people will do all that and still not have a roof, others wont be able to, they deserve safety and security too, a basic function of society should be that everyone has the means to live safely and in comfort. My generation spend all their time working, and this totally benefits people in power as we dont have any energy or time left to do anything, all the creativity and community movements I do see amaze me as people are doing super human things to achieve them while still affording to live. Its an atrocity that I have multiple friends and their mothers that have to stay with abusive fathers because they can’t afford to leave, that I have friends who have had to submit appeals to show that as disabled, queer, trans teens and young adults of colour they are ‘more vulnerable’ than other homeless youth as all homeless youth a vulnerable so only the most vulnerable can be housed.

Fuck everything. I know I am SO lucky to have parents who own a big house due to my grandad building a good business for himself and his family. Why is it so radical to think that everyone should have that! A house, security, community, stability. And I don’t mean everyone has a change to work hard and build a company that could fund a nice house. I mean .everyone.should.have.a.house. EVERYONE. There should be no one homeless, there should be no one in inadequate, dirty, crowded or too small homes. You shouldnt have to be exceptionally lucky and build a business to have a house, because my grandad worked no harder than others, infact I am 100% sure that others worked harder and have nothing to show for it. If you rely on everyone having a chance to work towards having a reasonable home, then you are sanctioning random selection of who gets homes and who doesn’t, you are saying its okay that some people wont and thats never okay. Everyone deserves a space they can be safe in, be healthy in, build a family and community in. EVERYONE regardless of what they do or dont do, being able to work is not a pre-requisite for being valued, a person may never ‘work’ in the way our government sees work but everyone has something to give, everyone contributes to something bigger than themselves - like family or community. 

[sluty-stars-alt]

I was gone for 5 days. A story

Hey, I was gone for 5 whole days. No one noticed. But I need to share about it.

Saturday: I was at rehearsal for most of the day. Until I got a text from my mom saying "are you able to stay there until 1:30" I asked why and she said "I don't know. All I was told was, "family emergency," and I'd get a call back."

I thought the worst. I was really worried about the children in my family. I later found out my dad was involved. And this put me into a bad mood, I hate him.

I arrive at children's hospital. Turns out. I was lied too. I am the patient. I got tricked into going there, because they were worried I was going to hurt them, as well as myself. None of this true. Ij moved on from that point in my life, I did hurt myself. I have a reminder. And I have thought of it. I am not going to lie. But I have things to do, places to be. A life to live. And I would NEVER hurt anyone. I want to make people happy. (Somehow she heard a co-worker said I said that. Even though I'm only there 3 days a week). The doctors noticed I'm severely depressed, I already knew this, and I should be on meds (thanks dad). As well sever anxiety. Both I know about. And emotions were worse because of me not having my bra on. I missed work, and was at children's all day. I got to the mental hospital, not doing the greatest. But I have high high hopes.

Sunday: it was my first meal there. Honestly how do they expect you too eat if its school food? Idk. I had my own room though. So it turned out ok. I met a few people. Some 11 year old said that I was hot. I felt like throwing up, yk. IM 16 (almost 17). The first day wasn't too harsh on my dysphoria, I can usually go a day without shaving, and a lot of people knew I am a girl, so it was not too bad.

In terms of what I did there. Theres no point for someone who wants to live. And even for people who dont. It doesnt have a purpose other than make people worry. Most people in there has a life. And cant just waste time in there. I know the reason to make sure you are ok. But there are better ways of doing that.

Family brought some snacks OwO

Monday:

I missed school this day, and I was a little sad. But I knew when I got out of there I would be back and be doing theatre. Food still sucks.

My gender dysphoria got worse. I couldn't look in the mirror, and I couldnt touch my face. I can go two full days without it being too too bad (day two is usually when I avoid touching my face), but day three it took an effect. I couldnt let it show though, if I did, I know I would have been in there for longer. So I just avoided it as much as possible. Avoided dad, avoided touching my face, mirrors, dead name. Everything.

Tuesday: The hair on the body was bad, the hair on the face was bad. I kept it hidden. Suffering in silence. What could the place do?give me a razor? Shave me? No. They would have just said to get over it. Food is still bad. A friend if mine kinda dipped on me. Or did I dip on them?I dont know. I just know I was eating alone.

Wednesday:

I was jamming. The dysphoria was still there. But I was more excited to go home, get shaved, lay in my bed, and cuddle my cat. (Also goals of fat burrito).

I still hated the food. And I knew when I would get out would be stressed. I was right. I missed dnd which made me sad. But j had my phone back, no one cared though until j told them... it kinda hurt.

After show:

If you can avoid going to a mental hospital. Fucking do it. I know what they are used for. But there are better ways, like. A therapist.

If you need to go to one. Go. But just be warned. They just cars about making you "ok" enough to go home. It causes a lot of stress. I lost 240 ish bucks. Half my paycheck. I dont know how I'm going to Chicago. It's a lot of stress. Caused by going to a hospital for 5 days.

I was uber dysphoric by the end. And I knew the second I got out, it would be better.

Children's hospital is transphobic. Or at least I feel like they are because of FORCING me to take off my bra which is nearly the best part of me, it gives me a lot of confidence, and happiness. Luckily the mental hospital gave it back before I showered.

I had my own room because of being trans, so. It was pretty good. I don't like people causing ruckus. Even though I love chaos, and I did join in once.

The rules at a mental hospital sucked, they took off the tips to the pencils??? And had no erasers. And no touching, depriving people of human contact, even though its proven to help, ie. GETTING HUGGED. What am I gonna do, get the feels?

My experience isnt everyone's. But seeing it first hand. Its dumb and doesnt have a point other than tell people how shitty they are.

[merrysithmas]

The twitter post on nonbinary gender that you posted....ever since you started specifically posting about nonbinary gender, I've been wanting to ask you its meaning because I had never come across it. But I was scared and embarrassed to ask you cause i thought you'd get mad at me. Sometimes I want to educate myself but then you don't know who to talk to or ask about things. And also thank you because through your blog I am learning so much about gender.

oh thank you!!! thank you so much for sending this and asking. i am always here for questions and thank you for having an open heart and a kind soul. i know sometimes it can be intimidating to learn – and it shouldnt be. we live in a very divided world right now, and i wish people would be more receptive to questions and bridge building.

it is my personal philosophy there is a difference between anger and hate – anger can be channeled into action and example and good. hate makes you have a commonality with all the other evil sectors in this world and i refuse to be a part of it.

as for nonbinary gender – basically this is an umbrella term which means “is not male or female”. nonbinary people are included under the T or “trans” letter in LGBTQ because their assigned sex (AFAB, AMAB assigned female/male at birth) does not align with their gender. however, many nonbinary people do not consider themselves trans and consider themselves simply nonbinary. but many do consider themselves trans. it is up to personal choice.

there are several nonbinary genders: agender (feeling like one does not have a gender at all, genderless), genderfluid (fluid gender which switches to more female or male depending), genderqueer (a catchall term for many of these identities or some combined), nonbinary (feeling neither totally male or female, or feeling both, or feeling both but one more than the other, or feeling a new gender which is male/female combined), Two Spirit (a term specifically for use only for certain people from various indigenous societies/cultures which describes a lauded subset of people who have two genders or a conduit between genders), demigender (feeling partially male or female), etc. the list goes on.

i know a lot of people will scoff at this and think - “oh that isnt REAL” “there are only two genders”. well guess what? it is real. it has been my life for literally as long as i can remember back into childhood. it wasn’t until a few years ago i discovered the term for it, and it wasn’t until last week that i decided i want to use gender neutral pronouns. i remember one day when i was in highschool i asked myself “am i trans??” i remember being so scared i cried for a day and repressed it so hard. i have never aligned or fit in in that way. i remember telling my mom as a kid i wasn’t a boy or a girl. i remember always struggling so hard trying to decide who to be. i remember doing a google search as a kid and reading about Two Spirit people of various indigenous cultures and thinking — my god. it’s “me”. it was the first thing i ever saw that spoke to an understanding of my identity, and i felt such immense comfort i cant even describe it to you.

but now, after coming out to myself and the world i am literally the happiest with myself i have ever been in my entire life. i finally feel like i am not living inside myself, that when people meet me they know exactly who i am because im not hiding it anymore. my whole life i always had this little voice in my head saying “the person they think they are meeting/seeing isnt the whole you and they will never really know you, no one does”. i am “out” to my family and friends who matter and i am so proud of myself. im not afraid of being visible. in fact, i want to promote it.

im a future doctor and i can tell you with 100% certainty there is biological basis for separation of gender and sex. whether it it hormone levels, chromosomal activity, genome structure, brain chemistry, brain physiology and anatomy, or likely an infinitely complex amalgamation of all that and more. but one doesnt have to be a doctor to have credit in saying this: i can tell you, just as me, a nonbinary person - i am real. and i dont want to hide or suffocate anymore. society’s rules and binaries are truly blind. they leave out so, so many people. and we are at a revolution in our culture right now that i hope is going to change that exclusion forever. i hope people will see other people free and realize the strictures and rules they were brought up to live behind arent all that exists.

i always say it like this: if you are cisgender (a person whose gender matches their sex at birth) it is not your job to “understand” a trans or nonbinary person. because you literally cant. you can’t pass judgment on something you literally cannot experience. a cisgendered person’s brain is not built with the chemistry/function of someone who experiences a nonbinary life. there is nothing wrong with that. but the job of a cisgendered person is to say: “i will never understand what that feels like, but i will -believe- it is real because trans and nonbinary people have the dignity of personhood, they are PEOPLE, just like me, and if they tell me this is how their bodies work it must be how it is working inside of them.”

and one more thing - gender identity has nothing to do with gender presentation. which means, a nonbinary person who dresses femme, wears make up and has long hair is just as nonbinary as a masculine presenting nonbinary or androgynous nonbinary person. a cisgendered woman who wears tshirts and baseball hats because that is what makes her comfortable is still a woman. a cisgenderd man who wears makeup is still a man. a trans woman who wears suits is still a woman. a transman who likes makeup is still a man. your gender is in your head, your sex/genitals are in your pants, and your aesthetic preference is just how you hapoen to like to decorate your body.

sexual orientation is separate from all of this, and is simply who you are attracted to. a cisgendered woman can be attracted to women: lesbian, poly, pan, bi. a nonbinary person can be bi, pan, poly too. a transman can also be bi, gay, pan, asexual, etc. a cisgendered man can be hetero or gay.

dysphoria is psychological and physical discomfort with ones sex/genitals/body/body function because it does not align with one’s gender. some trans/nonbinary people experience and many dont! so for instance as a nonbinary person i sometimes get intense dysphoria over my chest (breasts) and menstruation. more often than not i deal with it, sometimes im even proud of it, i am proud of surviving as a female-bodied person in this misogynistic world! im proud of the perspective it gives me on humanity. but if i could get rid of them would i? most days, most likely! ive always wanted to get rid of my breasts, i legit hate them. but some days i can deal. i console myself by saying all genitals are homologous to each other - male and female gentials are essentially the reverse of one another and so the same. they dont dictate who you are. if a woman with cancer gets an oophrectomy does thay make her not a woman anymore? of course not! if a man has his testicles removed is he no longer a man? am i a woman because i have a vagina? nope! gender isn’t one’s body. as a nonbinary pansexual person my identity is pretty firmly in the grey area lol. i consider myself an attractive androgynous. i am proud of who i am and what i look like, even when im not totally content.

i hope some of this helps and i hope you will spread acceptance! sorry this got so long but i wanted to give a real answer. always feel free to ask anything else, weird or not weird, i promise i wont get offended. :)