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#but everyone is trying their goddamn best.
star-hoon · 22 hours
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OBSESSED (p. sunghoon) — PART 2
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I’M SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR EX
READ PART 1 HERE — MASTERLIST
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pairing: sunghoon x fem reader
includes/warnings (18+): best friend’s ex! au, eventual smut (mdni), praise kink, dirty talk, unprotected sex (pls don't), ANGST, profanity, arguing, broken friendship (sorta)  (let me know if i missed anything!)
word count: 4.3k
synopsis: after sage catches you and sunghoon at the party, things change between all three of you. hidden emotions are unveiled and everyone does something they regret. the real question is...who?
author's note: omg thank you SO much to every person who read part 1! i'm so glad you guys liked it. this is dedicated to everyone who commented/requested for part 2 <3 you guys r all so sweet *hugs n squeezes*. pls look forward to my future works!
OBSESSED SOUNDTRACK
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“SUNGHOON?!” both you and the raven haired boy whipped your heads in direction of his name that didn’t even get the chance to leave his lips.
holy. fuck. it was sage.
the sound of red solo cup hitting the pavement seemed to echo despite the bass of the party still booming from the house with the silence that fell between all three of you.
you were an absolute deer-in-headlights taking her equally shocked and disgusted expression. she's never looked at you like that.
you and sunghoon instantly push off each other; you flattening down your skirt and he combed through his hair, as if that would help both of your situations right now.
you felt as if you had blood all over your hands at a crime scene. what the fuck?! out of all the boys on the damn planet it had to be him?!
sunghoon. sunghoon. you just made out with park sunghoon. SAGE'S park sunghoon. your best friend's ex.
his name and sage's expression replayed in your mind. you were so. screwed.
you could feel your heartbeat in your ears and it felt difficult to breathe. so much so, you barely heard sunghoon be the first to say something.
"s-sage? h-h-hey uh how have you been? shit that must have been awkward for you to have seen that. jake didn't tell me he invited you..."
sage completely ignored sunghoon's remark, tunnel visioning on you.
"you've GOT to be kidding me y/n..." she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, slowly approaching you.
you felt like a child who had just been scolded. you wracked your brain for something to say, but nothing came out. despite how close you two were, sage always intimidated you. she could be stubborn and had a short temper, that thankfully you've learned to tame over the past year. but you knew this was beyond anything you could save yourself from.
"l-look sage i-i'm sorry okay, i can explain-"
"shit- wait you two know each other?!" sunghoon interjected. he had no idea what he just got himself into.
sage broke into laughter, clutching her stomach for dramatic effect. "wow this just got FUN didn't it?! let's play a little game. on the count of three, say how you know the person to your left. and it's okay if a word doesn't come to mind."
the last sentence clearly meant for sunghoon.
her tone of voice was honestly scaring you at this point, and you could sense that both you and her were internally reeling at the words that will be spoken into reality.
best friend. ex. .....
you just stood there frozen and sunghoon turned to you, seeing your mortified expression.
even though you and him just met, he already felt protective over you and with how psychotic his ex was acting...he knew things weren't right. he stepped slightly between you and sage, trying to guard you from her piercing gaze.
but she was one step ahead and moved even more to her left so she was still fully in your line of vision.
"what the fuck is going on sage? just answer the goddamn qu-"
sage cut sunghoon off once again, "3..2..1"
"best friend. ex. ....." you and sage responded in unison.
it was silent for just a moment, as you all stared at one another.
"well glad we got THAT out of the way, hope that answered your question hoonie-" you recoiled at her use of the nickname. she was bluffing and it just made you angry at this point.
"how the fuck was i supposed to know he's sunghoon?! i swear on my life you walked by right as i asked his name-" hot tears started to blur your vision.
people walking by were staring and whispering but you couldn't give less of a shit. she scoffed at what she only believed was an excuse.
"oh give. it. up. y/n! you know what, that's the problem with you. you ALWAYS act so innocent and like you're just the shy girl next door. i know you've always been jealous me. so much so you basically fucked my ex aka the first guy you saw at a party. who would have guessed how much of a slut you are."
tears started to run rampant down your cheeks. you couldn't believe sage would say all of this to you. is that how she really felt?
she walked up and leaned down to whisper something in your ear before walking off, the clicking sound of her heeled boots fading.
you just stood there and covered your face, the tears never stopping. you just couldn't look sunghoon or anyone in the eye after how embarrassed and humiliated you felt.
"hey hey... shhh baby it's okay" sunghoon removing your hands from your face, using his thumbs to gently wipe the ruined mascara from your cheeks. the pet name just rubbed salt in the wound.
he comforted you with soft kisses to your cheeks. he knew you weren't okay, how could you be after all of that? but he didn't quite know else to do or say in this situation.
you shoved him off of you. sage's whispered words ringing in your ears.
"i'm sorry sunghoon, i- i have to go. this was a total mistake-" your hiccuping voice barely getting the words out. you couldn't even look him in the eye and you just wanted to be anywhere else but there.
"wait y/n" he grabbed your wrist before you could run away from him. "look i get it if you never want to see me again after this, but the least i can do is give you a ride home."
your lip quivered as you stared up at him. the way he looked at you was so gentle, a stark contrast to how he looked at sage just a moment ago. it made your heart ache.
usually you would just brush off the offer but you were such a wreck, you knew you were in no state to make it home by yourself.
you just gave him a silent nod and you two walked to sunghoon's car in silence.
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the silence persisted throughout the drive, aside from sunghoon asking for your address. sunghoon knew better than to ask questions.
your mind was anything from quiet, sage's whispered words replaying in your mind like a broken record.
"enjoy my sloppy seconds y/n, oh yeah...remember how i told you he said i was the best he's ever had?"
the sound of sunghoon opening his car door being the only thing snapping you out of your daze. he circled the car and opened your door for you.
"it's pretty late so i'll walk you to your door?"
'what a gentlemen' you thought. you felt like you were cinderella and he was your prince. but this was no fairytale.
you walked up the stairs, sunghoon trailing behind you. you stared at the faded blue paint of your apartment and turned around to part ways with sunghoon.
"thanks uh- for the ride. i'm sorry the night turned out like this-"
"i'm sorry about what sage said to you. she was hella out of line calling you those things..." you cringed at the memory. "...but what was the last thing she said to you?" you knew he was referring to what she whispered to you before she walked off.
you could not look him in the eye and tell him.
"she just told me to never text her again" you were sure your performance was convincing.
"y/n, please. tell me what she said. i know sage. i don't know what your guys' friendship's like, but if it's anything like while her and i were dating, she chooses her words wisely. she knows exactly what to say—especially if it's to hurt you."
shit, he read you like a book. you knew sage too. and you knew she would never lie or keep a secret from you—what she said must have been true.
"don't worry, that's what she said to me, promise."
he could tell you were lying, but you've been through enough in one night—he didn't want to cause a fuss.
"okay, just making sure" he huffed out a defeated sigh. "like i said, i get it if you never want to see again. but here's my number. i live only about a 5 minute drive from here so just in case you need anything or if anything with sage comes up, just gimme a call."
you stared down at his phone, contemplating for a few moments, but you eventually comply. a faint smile creeps on sunghoon's lips.
"for what it's worth y/n...i don't think tonight was a mistake. you made that party a hell of a lot more fun..." he chuckled trying to lighten the mood.
you couldn't bring yourself to quite say the same to him, so you just gave him a soft smile.
"thanks again sunghoon, goodnight."
you entered you apartment and made your way to your couch. you laid down and the threw your arm over your face, feeling tears threatening to fall once again.
you just curled up and drifted off to sleep, not even bothering to change your clothes or get ready for bed.
the only thing keeping you from losing your mind was the thought of sleep.
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you woke up the next morning (much to your dismay) and barely made it through the day.
you and sage have never fought like this. you both swore to never let something as stupid as a boy get between you two. so many questions swirled in your head.
is that really how sage felt about you all this time?
you get why she's pissed, but is she not even willing to hear you out?
is she willing to let go of your guys' friendship that fast?
you filled your day cleaning your apartment and running way too many errands—being busy always helped you in times of stress. eventually the sun was setting through the blinds covering your bedroom window.
you had no idea how to handle this entire thing. and it was something you certainly didn't want to deal with alone.
you stare down at your phone biting the inside of your lip, your finger hovering over screen.
you knew this could make things that much more complicated, but you needed someone talk to.
calling 'park sunghoon'....
after a few rings, he finally picked up. your heart was beating out of your chest.
"hey, may i ask who's calling?"
"h-hi s-sunghoon, it's y'n"
there was a pause. you were cringing at yourself for stuttering so much, little did you know sunghoon was smiling like an idiot from the other end.
"hey y/n, didn't think you'd actually call...wait did something happen? did sage do anything to you?" concern suddenly lacing his tone.
"no not all. i was just calling to talk, i'm just super stressed about all of this..."
he let out sigh of relief, he thought you could have been hurt.
"aw i'm sorry, yeah that makes sense. did you want to talk in person? i can come over."
"yeah, that'd actually be great, thanks." you heard the sound of him picking up his keys.
"of course, i'll be there 5"
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you open your front door after hearing a few soft knocks. you couldn't help but bite your lip at the sight front of you.
sunghoon wore a black hoodie, gray sweatpants, and glasses. a simple outfit but oh was it effective. you had to refrain from jumping on him right then and there.
"h-hey, thanks for coming over. sorry it was so late minute. please come in" you stepping aside and guiding him inside your apartment.
"yeah no problem. no need to apologize y/n, i was the one who offered to talk in person"
you just let out a soft laugh in response, cringing at your over-apologetic tendencies.
sunghoon smiled quietly watched you, finding it absolutely adorable how cute you were trying to be a good host. despite him being the one asking to come over and you two doing not so innocent things just the previous night.
you sit next to sunghoon on the couch. he scanned around your apartment, taking in all of your cute decor and trinkets.
"your apartment is so...cute. never would have guessed based on how you were acting last night" he smirked, teasing you.
you felt flustered as you felt your cheeks heat up.
"oh thanks" you looked down at your feet feeling shy. "yeah honestly i never really do that kinda thing at parties but i don't know, guess last night was different".
different he thought.
he just hummed in acknowledgment as a comfortable silence fell between you. it felt as if you both sucked in a breath in unison.
"y/n-"
"i-"
he speaks first, "of course you can rant to me about however you're feeling, but after thinking it over, i don't think you're in the wrong here y/n."
"she's my best friend sunghoon. and you're her ex boyfriend. is that not the first rule of girl code? i'm sure same thing applies to guys."
"okay sure i guess..." he licks his lips as he contemplates his next words "but sage and i broke up over a year ago. whatever we had, it's long gone. and unless she has lingering feelings for me, which i can tell she certainly doesn't, she should be more mature about this"
you nod silently, agree with everything he was saying.
"...and i know you were telling the truth when you told you had no idea it was me. because she quite literally was passing by as you asked for my name. so i genuinely think you did nothing wrong here"
"yeah that's true i guess" there's a pause as you take in his words.
"can i tell you what sage actually said to me last night?" you felt comfortable enough with him now to tell him and now were just more curious more than anything if what sage said was true.
"sage told me that you said she was the best you've ever had and i can enjoy her 'sloppy seconds'" you air-quoted the last two words with your fingers.
sunghoon's silence made your heart pound even faster. was it actually true? if so, this just made you even more embarrassed.
he eventually just scoffed which turned into a breathy laugh.
"oh man, sage sure is funny." he shakes his head at what you assume is disbelief. "i'm not sure if she got me mixed up with another park sunghoon, but i never said that."
you felt a huge weight was taken off your chest. sunghoon caught your sigh of relief.
"i'll be honest though, sage and i dated for a good amount of time, but i mean clearly we broke up for a reason. and i cannot stress enough that i do not have feelings for her at all. especially not after meeting you."
he puts his large palm on your knee, rubbing it soothingly.
you look down at the comforting gesture, a single tear falls down onto the back of his hand.
what the hell, why were you crying? sure, you were stressed about the situation but you didn't think it made upset enough to make you cry.
you had been beating yourself up about all of this since sage said those harsh words to you. you had started to believe that maybe what she said was true and that an ordinary girl like you had no business with a guy as like sunghoon. feelings of embarrassment, frustration, and guilt were eating you alive.
but after hearing sunghoon be in your corner, him saying you did nothing wrong, and finding out sage made up what she said somehow made you feel forgiven.
the small salty puddle on sunghoon's hand surprised you just as much as it did him.
he turns to meet your eyes, making you look at him "hey, what's wrong?" he pouts at your misty eyes, wiping the second stray tear before it could fall on your cheek.
"i-i'm sorry i don't even know why i'm crying. this whole thing was taking a bigger toll on me than i thought. just thank yo-"
he couldn't resist and crashes his lips into yours. his hand coming cradle the side of your face.
you let out a noise of surprise, not expecting him to kiss you so suddenly. you surrendered to him quickly though, not realizing how much you missed the taste of his lips. he deepend the kiss, his hand creeping up to thread through the hair at your nape neck, pulling slightly.
you let out a soft moan at the feeling, your parted lips leaving the perfect opportunity for him to slip is tongue into your mouth.
the sound of your lips smacking and heavy breathing filled the room. the heavy makeout eventually left you breathless. he pulled away but you still chased his lips.
he rested his forehead against yours signaling you he needed a breather. the eye contact and tension felt suffocating—the way you looked at him made his heart burst. your eyes were shiny were so shiny and wide, anticipating his next move. your cheeks flushed and lips slightly parted. your tank top and cotton shorts made his mind run wild. but he wanted to explore what was underneath.
he reached to remove your tank top and bra, and your shorts not long after leaving you in just your panties. he took off his shirt and hoodie, leaving him in just his sweats. the sight alone made you soaked through your panties.
he took in the sight on your almost bare figure on top of his, reaching to grope and feel your body. he attached his lips to your neck, sucking and biting the same sensitive spots he remembered from last night "you drive me fucking crazy y/n" he whispered against your skin.
his lips wandered down from your neck to your chest eventually taking a nipple into his mouth, the feeling of his hot tongue driving your desire for even into oblivion. he made sure to attend to the other one by pinching it with his other hand.
"f-fuck s-sunghoon..."
you began to grind on him, feeling his dick already hard through his sweatpants. his veiny hands wandered to the flesh of your outer thighs and hips, gripping your skin tightly savoring the feeling of your skin against his.
you pressed harder against him, finding the right rhythm of your hips on his, making him throw his head back, his eyes rolling slightly. the delicious sensation of your grinding his boner making him bite his lip staring at you. he crossed his arms behind his head, making his defined muscular arms even more prominent in the dim lighting of the room.
"yeah, grind on that dick baby, feel how hard i am for you?... see what you do to me?" his voice lower than normal, laced with nothing but lust.
"p-please..." you whined, his words making you work your hips even more fervently against his.
understanding your plea, he guided your back to lay flat on the couch climbing on top you, his arms on both sides of your head. the cold metal his delicate silver chain grazed the skin of your chest and neck, contrasting your hot skin.
you pulled him by the chain to kiss you again, your hands feeling his chest and biceps. his hands felt up your body once again, taking in every curve and dip from your breast to your hips, eventually playing with the hem on your panties.
"may i, sweetheart?" god, was he trying to make you fall in love with him?
you gave him a nod biting your lip. he slowly pulled your lace panties down your legs, creating a string of sticky arousal. you had never been so turned on in your life.
his fingertips ghosting the skin of your thighs, eyeing your bare body under his. you started to suddenly feel shy under his intense gaze, hiding your face in your arm and closing your thighs.
he gently pulled your arm away and tapped your knees to part your legs.
"don't hide baby, i wanna see your face, you're so beautiful...fuck you're so wet... all for me?"
"mhm...all for you- oh fuck" you breathily moaned as his fingers circled your clit, spreading your arousal. the feeling of his fingertips alone had your head spinning. he slowly inserted his fingers into your core, your walls sucking them in.
"jesus princess, you're so tight" he groaned as thrusts his fingers languidly, your juices starting to drip onto his palm. the squelching noise echoed in the room as you squirmed beneath him.
with the way that your back was arching and your walls clenching around him, he knew you were close. "you close sweetheart? wanna come all over my fingers?"
"fuck, yes please! your fingers feel so good. i- i wanna come" you whined desperately. his fingers speeding up as his thumb expertly rubbed your clit.
"such a good girl. come for me" a few more rubs from his fingers as your walls spasmed around him.
when he finally pulled his fingers out, you whined at the suddenly empty feeling. he kissed you once again, finding you all too adorable. "you did so good for me baby, ready for my dick?"
"please sunghoon, i need you" he pulled away taking off his sweats and boxers. the sight of his perfect cock made your mouth water: it was so hard, veiny, and red. his size making you question if he would fit in you.
he quickly climbed on top of you again, giving your cheek and neck light kisses while rubbing his cock through your folds, wetting his dick. when his tip grazed your clit you couldn't help but mewl at the feeling, your hands threading through his hair.
"fuck, please put in" you begged shamelessly. he bottomed out inside of you, biting his lip as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. he let you adjust to his size before thrusting slowly but deeply.
"s-shit you're so fucking tight y/n fuck" he groaned into your neck, leaving love bites. his could feel every vein of his dick and the fullness felt so good. so right.
his hands wandered to the small of your back, making you arch into him making him hit your g-spot. you nearly screamed into his neck at the feeling. his rhythm started to falter, your kisses getting messier and you were nearing your highs.
"s-sunghoon, please i'm c-close" you said in between whines and moans.
"fuck, me too sweetheart" he has never finished so damn fast during sex before but your pussy felt like it was made for him. he rubbed your clit once again, wanting nothing more than to give you the most pleasure possible.
"come on, be a good girl and come for me. cream all over my cock baby... you're better than she ever was". his words making the knot snap in your build up of euphoria. you moaned loudly a mixture of curses and his name, waves of pleasure washing over you.
sunghoon finished not long after, pulling out and fisting his dick to cum all over your stomach and thighs—making you his. he looked down at the sight beneath him and he never wanted to look away.
your head thrown back and jaw slack, your cheeks still flushed. your heavy breathing and still sensitive body twitching. he rubbed your clit to prolong your high until you pushed his hand away, feeling overstimulated.
sunghoon leaned down to give soft kisses to your lips and forehead, before running to the kitchen to grab a paper towel wet with some warm water to clean you up.
the way was gently wiping your skin, leaving kisses here and there made your heart ache.
"hoon..." his eyes immediately meeting yours at the pet name, his heart skipping a beat. "...can you stay the night?"
he smiled and pecked your lips, "i thought you'd never ask"
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sage eventually reached out to you 2 weeks after jake's party and you two made amends. she apologized for what she said and acknowledged that things will probably never be the same with you two, but still wishes you and sunghoon the best.
"so, how did the call with sage go?" sunghoon asked from your kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. you and sunghoon continued to hangout almost every day since that first night, and the more you go to know him, the harder you fell.
you two started to grow so close that could tell what he was thinking and he didn't even have to say anything.
"well, things for sure will never be the same between us that's for sure, but i think we both got closure from all of this." you said with a sigh.
he walked over to you silently, his hair down and slightly messy from sleep. his fingers fidgeted around the coffee mug and his lips smacking together making the 'tsk' they always do when he's about to say something but holds back.
"did you wanna tell me something?" you gestured him to come closer to you. you put your hands around his neck and he put his around your waist. you leaned your forehead up to his and his lips quirked up on the side.
"y/n, will you go on a date with me?" you couldn't hold back a smile as you kissed him passionately.
who would have guessed you could be so obsessed with your best friend's ex?
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taglist:  @luv-jungwon106 @gudkc @gyuoonz
ramblings: literally had a fever writing the second half lol pls tell me if this is bad bc i cannot even tell also this is my first time writing smut so i apologize if it just wasn't smexy at all ahHH
+ (also sage is actively the worst in this part lol, she is saur annoying and lowkey crazy)
thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you think <3
reblogs, likes, & comments are always appreciated!!
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Typical Day For a Bouncer
I'm Joey, a security guard at a night club down the street. I got the job because I'm a big ex-rugby player, but I've kept it for so long because I'm good at handling people. I can't tell you how many underage idiots try to sneak in here. It takes patience, grit, and a keen eye to keep the troublemakers out!
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Like any other Friday night, the club is packed tight and a line of impatient patrons stretches down the street. I've gotten good at telling people "no," in a way that makes them listen, so they have no choice but to calmly wait until I feel like checking their ID and letting them in.
Every now and again, I'll have some fools try to sweet talk their way in. Girls try to flirt, guys try to bribe, but the biggest assholes make a scene. It's nothing I can't handle.
Just last week, I had this entitled brat come up to me and demand I let him in. The boy couldn't have thought I'd believe he was twenty-one. He wasn't even in line! I don't remember what I did to get him to shut up, but he kept hammering on and on about his skills with hypnosis. I remember listening to that kid ramble about the voodoo of the mind for what felt like forever.
I don't remember kicking him to the curb, though. He probably got tired and went home.
"Hey, buddy!" a familiar voice squeaks over the music. I roll my eyes, preparing myself to say no yet again.
"Oh, it's you," my deep voice catches in my throat. The kid from last week is standing in front of me once more, ignoring the line of adults to his left. In his ratty sweatshirt and baseball cap, he doesn't look any older than eighteen. Still, the sight of him unlocks a memory I somehow had forgotten. "Hello, sir!" I call back, remembering him as my closest and most respected friend. How could I've forgotten that this boy was my best friend I call sir?
"You gonna let me in, big guy?" A devious grin spreads across his boyish face.
"Of course, sir."
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There are a few angry comments from the people waiting in line. I can't imagine they're happy to see this guy ushered into the club before them. Normally, I have a strict policy against VIP treatment. I think everyone should have to wait in line like equals, but sir is great. He can come and go whenever he wants!
"Hey, why don't you take a break from the front and buy me some beers," the boy yells over the roar of the music.
I leave the entrance and start pushing my way through the crowd in the direction of the bar. I probably should've warned the other bouncer that I was taking a break, but my feet were carrying me away before I knew what was happening. The other guard knows what he's doing, but he's still pretty new here. I'm sure he'll be fine.
The bartender gives me a can of light beer, and I hustle it back to the boy on the dance floor. People tend to get out of the way when they see a giant security guard coming through, but the place is so jammed packed that I have to press against several sweaty partiers on the way over.
"Your beer, sir," I say, flinching at the meekness in my voice.
"What the hell is this?" he whines when he sees the drink, "This is crap. Get me the good stuff, and buy a lot of it!" The kid tossed the open can at my broad chest, and the cheap beer splashes across my uniform.
"Yes, sir."
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I march back to the bar with a clenched fist, and grab a tray, ordering the barback to fill it up with the more expensive bottles of beer. He glances at my soaked shirt and pants, but averts his eyes the second he sees my less-than-friendly face.
That boy is my best friend. I respect him greatly, but goddamn is he infuriating. How did I even become close to someone so immature? I pacify myself, and carry the tray back over to the kid.
"That's better," he snorts and takes a sip of the premium drink while I stand there to make sure he likes it this time.
"Alright, sir," I begin, thinking about the twenty minute break I've been taking, "I need to get back to work."
"No you don't!" the boy interjects.
"I..." the words fumble in my mouth, "...well, I don't need to, but I should, sir."
"Tell your boss you're done for the night. Then go wait by my car. You can guard it!"
"Yes, sir," the words come out before I even know what I've agreed to.
Before I know it, I'm marching into the back office and calmly telling the club owner that I'm taking the night off. He's pissed, but I'm his most reliable employee, so he doesn't fire me. I can tell he's not happy, though. He looks like he'd take a swing at me if I weren't two feet taller than him and a hundred pounds heavier.
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"You make a great watchdog!" the teenager laughs as he comes stumbling out of the club.
Something about him brings a scowl to my face. It might be the way he referred to me as an animal, or it might be the way he's staring at me like I am an animal. Maybe I'm just irritated from standing by this parked car in the cold for the last two hours, but this boy is getting on my nerves.
"No one has bothered your car, sir," I report.
"Good, boy," he slurs and then reaches a gangly arm to pat the top of my head. I can smell the distinct earthiness of the beer I'd bought wafting out with his breath.
Every muscle in my body tenses up, as I try my best to restrain myself. Sir is my best friend. I respect him. I do what he says. I shouldn't get this worked up by him making a little joke at my expense. It's perfectly fine for him to tease me a little since I trust him completely. I know all this.
"Still think hypnosis is fake?" he asks, bringing his wet lips uncomfortably close to my own.
"Sir?" my brow furrows, unsure why he's bringing up that crap again.
"Well, it's real, and you're hypnotized."
I stifle a groan, "Sir, you've had a lot to drink..."
"The only thing I'm drunk on is power!" he yells, smashing a bottle on the sidewalk for effect, "I've got you like a trained dog; that's how good of a hypnotist I am! Let me prove it."
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I was pissed. I was livid. Sir had mocked and insulted me repeatedly. It was a bad idea for anyone to pick on me, especially someone a third of my size! Nevertheless, the boy has all my faith, so I kept my mouth clamped shut.
He told me to kneel, and I grunted, "Yes, sir." I already had beer all over my clothes, so what's a little mud on the knees of my pants? It was better to just keep him happy, but that didn't mean he had hypnotized me.
"Keep your arms raised, like you're worshipping me," he went on.
"Yes, sir."
My arms went up. I'll admit this was a bit more strange, but I still trust and respect the teenager enough to comply. That doesn't say anything about my state of mind.
"Alright, now stay like that until I come back," he laughs, "I'm going to get a snack, but if anyone walks by, I want you to bark at them like the hypnotized guard dog you are!"
"Yes, sir," I answer, hearing the hoarseness in my voice.
As the boy stumbles away, I find myself stuck in the position he'd left me in: on my knees, in the cold, with my arms raised in compliance. I'm doing this willingly, right?
Time creeps by uncomfortably slow as I silently wait next to his car. Suddenly, I hear footsteps nearby. A wave of barks burst out of my throat, and I find myself growling like a territorial mutt in the direction of the pedestrians.
Now I'm acting like a dog!
Sir doesn't come back for another hour, which leaves me to viciously snap at numerous other passerby. They seem terrified, which makes sense. They probably think I'm insane! I'm beginning to wonder if I'm insane too.
I respect that boy more than anyone even if I only met him once, a week ago. I really would do anything he told me too. Is that strange? It's not like me to be so...obedient. I'm the kind of guy that normally tells people what to do, so why am I doing this?
There's no way...it's not possible...I can't actually be hypnotized, right?
"Good, boy," he pulls off my cap and ruffles my hair, "Now, be a good dog and drive me to your house. I might fall asleep on the way there, so you'll have to carry me inside to your bed. If you do good, I'll give you a special treat." He licks his lips and reaches a scrawny hand out to squeeze my tired pec.
"Yes, sir," I answer, jumping up to do his bidding, but I can feel that the words aren't really mine.
Shit. I think he's right. I think I am hypnotized.
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katierosefun · 1 month
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modern family is all fun and games until you get to the scenes where you burst into tears because the once-vaguely homophobic dad now refers to his son's husband as family, and also the academically gifted daughter realizes that her dorky, clumsy dad was always really proud of her and just never surprised because he just assumed she could do anything, and also the eldest daughter who eloped comes crawling back to her parents' room and whispers that she still wants her parents to be present for her wedding, and also the anxious queer lawyer character admits that he was terrified that his husband would just leave him alone with their baby daughter, and also that the once-vaguely grouchy dad looks at his stepson and tells him that what makes a family is who sticks around, not who you're blood-related to and anyways what was i saying
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wantbytaemin · 7 months
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the fucking shitshow i experienced today…
#i won’t even get into the details of it but my work is being undermined and i didn’t say anything about it bc i was so taken aback and in#absolute shock. i have literally never Ever experienced something of this sort im not being dramatic i went into my office and told my#coworker girls what happened and everyone was staring blankly like ‘they said that to YOU??????’ bc it’s genuinely fucking unbelievable#got told some out of pocket shit that i willllll notttttt let slide but i need to get my shit together and think up the best way to respond#bc this wasn’t just undermining my work it was borderline humiliating. all from this woman who is supposedly my PhD mentor who NEVER#fucking helped me with anything and now she’s trying to tell me something that is SO insanely unfounded and just insane truly#as if i didn’t take over the entire goddamned (multi million) project and played the role of *drumroll* two phd students three#collaborators and TWO mentors one of whom was supposed to be the project lead. all that did so well that our ceo STILL praises me in#meetings and he never fucking praises anyone. as if i wasn’t offered two job positions in two separate labs while in one of london’s top#universities. as if i haven’t published 8 papers and a scientific book chapter which I’m the first author of#all without her help and now she wants to play mentor by trying to talk shit. oh my god im so miserable right now you have no idea#i can’t fucking stand her and no one in the company likes her anyway lmao but like#when i get out of this fucking state of SHOCK she just put me in im about to tell her to fuck off forever so politely and so wonderfully#that she will not know what happened to her. doubting MY capabilities ohhhh as if. as IF.
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if toji suddenly reincarnated back into ssg, how would each character react? like obvi gojo would try to hollow purple him on sight but he manages to hold himself back to get some answers from toji instead. do the others know that it was bc of toji that megumi is stuck in the situation he’s in rn? would megumi even want to talk to his dad?
and how would toji take finding out how the zenin treated his son? he thought that he’d be safe and happy there and then he finds out what they did to megumi and that it was gojo and co who stopped it.
Everyone knows that Toji sold megumi to the zenin.
I think it actually really bothers Megumi how it’s common knowledge. He doesn’t know anything about his own father other than he sold him, and that’s not even private to him. He’s just some unwanted kid who his dad only had to sell like prized cattle.
It was never a secret that Toji sold him to the Zenin. Maki knew, and she already told the others when giving them the rundown on what happened. They’d all know that toji’s the reason megumi’s stuck in this situation.
The second years:
It depends on when he arrived. If it’s when Yuuta still hasn’t gotten the RCT backlash under control, then he may have to worry a bit about the power of love and also this sword.
He’d survive. Not unscathed. But he’d survive.
If it’s after Yuuta’s gotten control, Yuuta still would hate him, but he wouldn’t be as proactive about it. Mostly because Megumi would feel weird about him making a fuss. He’d intervene every time Toji tried to talk to Megumi if Megumi established he didn’t want to talk to him. He’d try to quietly get him the fuck out of there. He'd radiate an aura of murder whenever Toji came close.
Maki would ice Toji out on principle. Like, she’d hate that she had to. Toji’s supposed to be the only one who understands her. They’re both Zenin clan rejects. They both were hurt in such similar ways.
But only one of them sold their fucking kid back into that hellhole, and that ended with Megumi in a hospital bed. She’d be bitter, internally, that she couldn’t try for something like a relationship with Toji. She’d wonder if she betrayed Mai the same way he betrayed Megumi. She wouldn’t outwardly react to him. She’d ice him out.
Inumaki and Panda would embark on a quest to ruin his fucking life. They’d short sheet his bed. They’d put itching powder in his pants. They’d put bleach in his shampoo. All would fail, but this would not discourage them.
The adults:
Gojo would bend over backwards to keep Toji away from Megumi.
Gojo's playing the game of "only let Megumi get information he can physically handle" right now. that's why he's refusing to let Maki tell him the truth about the Ten Shadows. He knows his kid. He knows Megumi's impossibly fucked up and is not going to tell them how badly or ask for help for what happened. He knows Megumi's going to break if anything else happens, and he knows that Toji showing up out of nowhere and dropping six bombshells on him is not something Megumi could handle. He'd squeeze Toji for insider information on the Zenin and threaten to punt Toji to the moon if he didn't stay the fuck away.
Toji would not be impressed by the threats.
Nanami and Shoko would refuse to have anything to do with him. Shoko wouldn’t speak to him. Nanami would, but only to inform him that his sole priorities are the wellbeing of his family, and that Megumi has a right to speak with Toji if he so wishes, but if he doesn't, toji needs to steer far clear of him. He's done enough. toji may have been his father biologically, but Nanami was the one who carried him home--twice--after the family Toji sold him to broke him to the point he was close to death. Nanami has been there for the parent teacher conferences and the nightmares and all the shit Toji never even tried to be there for even when he had a chance. Toji surrendered his place in Megumi's life, and it's been filled. And Toji should not dare to try and hurt nanami's family again. He's already done enough.
Megumi:
Megumi hates him. And he wouldn’t want to talk to him.
Megumi never talks about his dad. If someone asked, he’d say he doesn’t care about him, didn’t expect better from him, and doesn’t care that toji sold him. It’s hard to be hurt by someone you never expected to love you. He’s not surprised; he’s not disappointed; this is just his dad being on brand. He was a piece of shit before and a piece of shit now.
He’d be lying.
His dad selling him to the Zenin cut megumi deeper than anything else in his life. The zenin were always his abusers. But Toji was supposed to be his dad. He was supposed to take care of him.
He was supposed to love him. And a part of megumi has never been able to understand why he didn’t.
In megumi’s mind, he had to have known what pieces of shit the Zenin were, and he sent him there anyway. And Megumi hates him for it, he really does.
I guess it really depends on when in the sgg timeline it is. Like, are we dropping him right in the middle of the currently chapter?
Megumi would assume he’s a hallucination. He’d think his brain would be just fucking with him and making it all hurt more. It would make him violently upset, and Toji would have to be removed from the room, and Gojo would probably have to knock Megumi out to get him to calm down again.
If he’s gotten better, then Toji would still make him violently upset. But he’d be aware enough to hide how much.
He’d refuse to see him. He’d refuse to talk to him. He wouldn’t want to be in the same room as him. His dad couldn’t be fucked to ever be there for him, so Megumi doesn’t see why he should drop everything to see him now.
Megumi's not in a mindset where he could ever healthily see Toji, coming right off SGGs. like, he's traumatized out of his fucking mind. He's absolutely unable to handle the added stress of his deadbeat dad coming back to life and wanting to chat.
Toji:
Toji would kill all of them.
The thing is, I don't think Toji actually thought Megumi would be safe and happy with the Zenin. I think that's the lie he told himself to justify selling his son to his abusers. Like, he knows his family's cruelty better than anyone. He knows that even if you have cursed energy, they're not exactly tender parents.
I think he was just in a spiral, struggling with a gambling addiction, and was trying to take an easy way out and lying to himself about what exactly he was doing to his son.
He'd feel like shit over it, the confirmation that he son could be literally the most important person for hundreds of years to the zenin and they'd still hurt him. He'd kill them for putting Megumi in the hospital bed, for hurting him all those years ago. He wouldn't know how to begin fixing things with his son, so he'd do what he knows how to do, which is just fucking kill the people who hurt him to begin with.
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merlinmerlot · 2 months
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I could play one of the most beautiful well crafted video games on the planet and it will never be as appealing to me as one that kind of sucks shit but has soooo much potential
#merlin.txt#just finished cyberpunk#i feel like they could have done sooo much more with the concepts they had#the game showed us a bit of everything in the world but i dont think they explored any one topic enough#and they pulled a ton of punches. the ending did not feel like this big 'grab your allies and fuck the corpos' thing it shouldve been#it was mostly just tying up johnnys loose end. one big loop. which i fuck with; but it wasnt rlly anticapitalist at all in that sense#i have a bunch of other thoughts on johnny but ill save it#but god. the beginning (act 1 and the first bits of act 2) where just soooo fucking good#and it rlly felt like it was going to gear up into this huge thing instead of just being one last hurrah for rogue and johnny#AUUUGHH theres just So Much Potential. goddamn#imo i think the major thing is that at some point it stopped being v's story. it was everyone elses#he has Very little agency. which is interesting but man this guy deserves better#when it comes down to it the game Is really shallow. whenever there is any sincerity in themes its very centrist#the fact is you dont rlly meet many characters in game who are Truly working to take down corps except for johnny and he doesnt rlly count#and if there Are its usually played for irony and laughs (looking at kerry) or theyre flat out kind of awful.#judys story is probably the best of the companions bc shes actively trying to help sex workers and its played very positively#i also think two of the main themes (letting go of the past; what it means to die) are Majorly helped by some incredible emotional beats#and w/o some just Really Really good scenes and good repetition of lines and motifs its very tropey.#ok i wasnt going to write a full thing. but let me be clear: i fucking loved this game. i would not be writing so much if i did not love it#the sun ending was Still soooo vindicating. v is still kicking and that's all that matters to me#(it helps that v is a Great protag like one of the Best voiced rpg protags next to hawke da2)#(which is kind of a funny comparison since i think both protags suffer from a lack of agency)#ok im done now
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spider-man-2o99 · 11 months
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Just wanted to say that I have been thinking of you and pre-emptively empathizing with the nonsense you are no doubt being flooded with and the psychic damage it must be causing. Keep stanning the king ignore the weirdos <3
thankg u.,, i feel like ive been trapped in a fuckign . Torture Labyrinth these past coupl days . but. wwe will. We Will Yet Persist onwards w/ our hand on the left wall till we;re either out or at the center i swear 2 fucking GOD,
#talking tag#asks#th pain is forever the Horrors r unending the lack of media comprehension on all sides is Disappointin But Also My Goddamn Life I Guess lol#though i will say ppl in my inbox have actually been.. surprisingly polite overall? if not outright rather kind as a whole. um. post-atsv.#but. god. i have not Talked About so much of that movie because i kind of just.#..ok actually i realize this is gonna sound rude as hell lmao. but. hhaha i Kinda Just. was fool enough to Assume that everbody would yknow#like. Comprehend The Film yk yk yk. since it is a well-written movie that doesnt try to Hide any of what it;s abt? yk?#i come On Here onto tumblr dot bumblr and i make my stupid esoteric gddamn complaints abt 2099 Themes for Me Only so my head doesnt blow up#n silly ol me i really do like earnestly honestly in my Heart think. like. we all saw the same movie. right? mayb thingsll calm down.#but oh oh oh oh oh no no no No No. they do Not calm down they get So Much Worse.#and now hypothetical Internet Strangers might be Passing Judgement bcuz we look like an Apologist 4 assuming Everyone Knew Media Literacy#CHRIST. do people think i think mig was. like. In The Right. in atsv. no ive known he would be Wrong for years dudes.#why do yall think i was so low-key Disappointed he was placed in a role that couldve better suited. like. Superior Spider-Man.#public image. DING-DONGs. man he is Never Going To Be In Movies Again After This Hes An AU SPIDER-MAN FROM THE 90S. LORD!#i had SO MUCH FUN watching atsv!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont like the choices it made to put miguel in the situation that it did. Bizarre Thematic Changes to 2099 that Only I Care Abt. but like#that is SUCH a fuckin SMALL and insanely autistic nitpick like i earnestly loved the hell out of the film and its mig is--#--Earnestly One Of His Better/Best Adaptations despite bein within the limited confines of th plot nd setting he is In & w/o his inner mono#..i just. Hate So Much That This Movies Version Of Miguel Will Be The Only One That Anybody Knows For The Next Seven Years At Least. yknow.#i lov watching that fuckers trainwreck of a slowmotion mental breakdown for two hours but the movie gave practically Zero Context 2 newbies#BTSV please save me BTSV please save me BTSV PLEASE save me PLEASE please please please PLEASE BTSV youre my last hope....#(arthur clenching his fist meme) ppl r Already so shitty 2 ppl w/ Messy Symtptoms i could Handle losing MK but SM2099 means too much 2 me..
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mariocki · 7 months
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Stuart Damon guest stars as Texan oil baron (and Simon's new bff) Rod Huston in The Saint: The Ex-King of Diamonds (6.17, ITC, 1969); this episode was the direct inspiration for Roger Moore's subsequent series The Persuaders! (ITC, 1971 - 72)
#fave spotting#stuart damon#the champions#craig stirling#the saint#the ex king of diamonds#itc#1969#the persuaders!#classic tv#something about the formula of stiff upper lipped english gent with new money American wiseguy really appealed to the production team#producer Robert S. Baker and ITC head honcho Lew Grade seem to have begun planning The Persuaders! almost immediately from this point#bringing Moore back (and with a much greater creative control than he'd had even on The Saint); alas not returning was Stuart Damon#i mean i don't think it's any reflection on him or his performance here; they replaced him with goddamn Tony Curtis‚ a bona fide Hollywood#legend. but it is a shame bc Stuart is so so good here; he's absolutely having a ball with it‚ from his thick Texan accent to his over#sized cowboy hat‚ from the little subtle comic business he's doing (he sits at a table for a fancy pants high stakes card game without#waiting for their host and there's a beautiful little moment he does of realising everyone else is standing as the host enters and trying#to get back up again before everyone sits down). it's a beautiful performance‚ genuinely one of the best guest spots‚ i think‚ that the#series ever had in its 100 plus episodes. when this aired The Champions would have been roughly in the middle of its run#given the fairly lengthy production on The Saint‚ it's possible he filmed this before starting work on The Champions; then again‚ he has#top billing and is the main guest‚ which might suggest he was expected to be a familiar tv star by the time this went out#hard to say without a Pixley bible... regardless he seems to have very good chemistry with Moore. but then Curtis appeared to as well and#they apparently did not always particularly get along during filming of The Persuaders so who knows#with just 3 eps left this could quite probably be my final fave spotted in the saint; it's been quite the journey but I'm grateful to the#familiar faces who popped up along the way and made it a little easier whenever it started to feel like a bit of a slog!
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jellybeanium124 · 4 months
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great day to release a stupid fucking band au fic nobody cares about except me
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torgawl · 6 months
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never thought i'd see people try to argue or analyse wriothesley's murder in regards to his personality. i think people are missing the point. the situation has nothing to do with him and has everything to do with an extremely traumatic environment that made a small boy think the only solution so save himself and the people he cared about was to take the life of his abusers. it's not supposed to be rational, it wasn't premeditated, it wasn't about getting away with it. if you read his description of the murder you can see how out of it he was. his goal was to protect himself and his siblings and that's what he did. that's why he admitted to the crime so easily and why he is keen to associate the fortress as a rebirth place. he was just young, lost and traumatised and that's about it when it comes to the extension of it all.
#people acting like they're disappointed because he's a 'manipulative' and cunning individual or because he's cold and that it doesn't match#the crime as if at that time he wasn't just a kid experiencing extreme distress and without a safe space to seek help#i also don't personally think he's manipulative at all. he isn't like ayato or yae miko. he has very strong values and he does everything#to abide to that. if that means ommiting information at some point to make the best out of a situation he will do so but he doesn't do#things for personal gain and as soon as he can be truthful he lays all the cards on the table#this reminds me of that ayaka situation where people tried to paint her as manipulative when all she did was ask the traveller to hear#people's stories so traveller could take their own conclusions about the situation in inazuma shsjsh#it's also the way wrio isn't even cold. he's serious and composed but goddamn if he didn't show how empathetic he is#also how lightweight his personality is during the archon quest...#at this point i'm just questioning myself if we're even playing the same game#wrio 'i believe in restorative justice rather than punishment' the slay#wrio 'there's a prophecy about a flood dooming the entire country so i'm taking matters into my own hands and building noah's ark to save#my people' the slay#wrio 'i have no reason to trust you but i will still offer you a cup of tea' the slay and people still try to pain him in an obscure light#he's not even that morally grey 😭 he's morally gray in the sense everyone is#wanting to stop people who hurt others isn't controversial or shouldn't be#also because we KNOW that's his last resource#his job is literally to give people a second chance the same way he took his except he actually wants to make life easier for others#than it was for him and people are so vocal about how grateful they are of him like???#he's such a good guy genuinely#and just because he's intelligent and usually composed doesn't mean he isn't emotional sensitive or even prone to being put in situations#where's he's forced to react a certain way because that's just human nature#he's literally just a silly guy with trauma and big responsabilities set him free from the shackles of mischaracterization please 😂#not that i'm better i'm a fool i may just be talking shit really#but seeing people act like the murder is somehow badly written or that he is dark and dangerous make me go ???#having the ability to do something doesn't define you as a person and i feel like judgement without context makes no sense#but maybe that's just me
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abby roque, megan keller, and lee stecklein at the PWHL 2023 draft!
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stupid-dyke · 7 days
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stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying
I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.
#it's really sad I'll skip the meds sometimes to try to sleep and it doesn't even help. I just feel worse while awake.#The real reason i can't sleep is because im screwing myself over by doing no work and im terrified im going to fail my fucking classes#and theyre all going to say im crazy if I fail my classes. theyre going to say im crazy and I self sabotaged on purpose#bc i dont want to succeed. Dad says that every day#Dad loves telling me everytjhing wrong with me multiple times a day every day so i never ever forget#hes so helpful. He's trying so hard to help. If i dont answer the phone he starts worrying ive committed suicide#again i was suicidal one week in 2019. Get the fuck over it. You've literally threatened to kill yourself multiple times. Fucking hypocrite#a bunch of my friends are going to graduate this semester and best case scenario i graudate next semester and then I'll lose touch with eve#ybody#and then the good times are over and life is boring and hell forever and ill get more disabled every year until I can't work and then I'll#run out of money and die#you know when I talked to my genetics professor about the alzheimer's results he said somethign will kill you eventually and it#wont be that unless you live to old age which will be good!#so true bestie. so ture#Guys lets be real here. Why the fuck. Do we live. why. It is so goddamn hard. Maybe it;s easy when u get sleep . But that hasn't happened t#me for a while#all my classes end next week and i havent done most assignments since spring break#also over spring break my parents met w a lawyer to revise their will adn afterwards dad told me im executor and explained to me what will#happen after each person in my family dies.#the assumption is that I will outlive everyone. they don't think my sister will live to old age adn they are already old#the lawyer apparently has clients with the same disability as me and all of them had the same thing happen. Once they get another disabilit#and get older it becomes impossible to manage IH and they cant work til retirement age#i just spent an hour typing this shit instead of sleeping. 4am-730am sleep lets go. I should kill myself#i hate my parents fucking advicce bc they;; be like well when i was ur age I was married it sure must suck to be single!!!! fuck you guys f
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tempertyzias · 8 months
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the torment of having a totally supportive and well-meaning father who is unintentionally the most discouraging person you know
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theflyingfeeling · 9 months
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...🎻
me @ literally everyone else: your feelings are valid! you have the right to feel the way you feel! you are not a burden! ❤️
me @ myself: your problems are trivial and actually you are being silly and petty and self-centered for having any sort of feelings about anything ever, also you should stop confiding in people while having very little to offer in return because people will find you tiring to deal with and that's why you're only capable of maintaining shallow casual relationships 💅
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pumaskulls · 1 year
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I really do find a way to make this joke for literally every one of my stories, huh...
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more and more often, I find myself falling in love with media for the potential it has to be good, not for what it actually is. That desire for something to be better leads me to create new details, new concepts and imagery to tie everything together into an actual theme, a real story.
I think that is ultimately the premise of fandom, taking something that is OK or even great and modifying it so its almost perfect. Rarely do you see media that is almost perfect develop a huge fandom, because there is so little to improve.
I love creating, I love seeing what others create, but also, there is something to say about watching a film or a TV series or reading a book that is so close to perfection that makes you want to sit in silence and reflect for a while. Something about experiencing a story that moves you in a way that makes words meaningless. Something that is beyond description, something that needs to be experienced to be understood.
I wish there was more of this. More stories that were created for the sake of telling a story and moving the audience, instead of created for the sake of making a profit. I wish we could fall in love with more stories for what they are, instead of what they could be.
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