#but friday is still so far it's basically 2 weeks i guess

[alicenpai]

hiii sorry to bother you but! i was wondering if you'll have any pandora hearts merch at AN this year? :0 i got the stickers last time and I'm obsessed haha

hi yeah i have a print in the works here's a preview! i didnt really have time for other ph stuff but i want to make some charms maybe in the summer.. if possible.. thanks for your interest in my PH stuff it honestly means the world to me .. see you at anime north!!

[justenjoythegossip]

WHAT ABOUT NOW ? DO YOU SEE HOW COMPLICIT CHRIS IS?

Very quick recap of recent events: Some very staged pics of Chris & Abba in Lisbon surfaced yesterday at approximately the same time, hours after some good old classic teasing and trolling. The previous weeks, we had a few interesting events that all seemed to point to a possible (but unlikely) separation: a sight of Chris’ doppelganger with no ring, Abba on a ski trip with her friends without her ring, Chris posting Dodger in MA for Valentine’s, Chris posting pictures of himself in LA without his wife, the very questionable Medium article about their alleged split… 

Chris’ participation in the latest silly stunt & the point of recent events..

I know a big chunk of his fandom has given Chris the benefit of the doubt since the start of this shitshow. Chris liked to joke that he is quite the “meatball” but as RDJ his frequent costar has said, he is very “shrewd”. And I believe it’s now pretty obvious Chris knows exactly what he is doing and he is more than complicit in those PR games. 

Chris came back to Instagram just in time for the Back Friday, with a very different grid and a much more professional account. When he posted that story of his beloved dog Dodger running in the snow on Valentine’s eve, it was the FIRST time he had posted a private moment since his return to Insta. The first time and it wasn’t random. He then posted 2 pics of him with the Russo brothers that were taken a month prior to their being published. A month before and it wasn’t random! 

The optics were pretty obvious, he was showing himself to be alone. He was selling a narrative. Alone on Valentine’s day. Alone at a party in a city where his wife says she lives. Oh and by the way, his kinda wife did pretty much the same thing at the same time, showing herself on a ski trip without her ring. It was a concerted effort as both sides worked IN UNISON to paint the picture of a possible separation as a misdirect. 

And to that, let’s add the super sketchy Medium article that discussed their alleged split. I wrote a post about it if people want to check it out… https://www.tumblr.com/justenjoythegossip/742890431073992704/will-albas-immaturity-racism-and-alleged?source=share

The role of that questionable Medium article in that latest stunt…

I strongly suspected his team was behind that article. But now even more so and for several reasons. First of all, that article supported the exact same narrative that Chris & Abba were selling at the exact same time. I have difficulties believing in a coincidence. Obvious plants in the fandom made such a big fuss about this article while being very adamant about not having written it. Both DM & ENTY (overkill much?) pinned this article on “crazy fans that took it too far”. Last but not least, the article was posted online 3 days before team PR blogs mentioned it. So his team knew about it. And I strongly suspect that they would have had taken that article down if they had wanted to. But they didn’t. 

What was the goal then? Well I don’t need to tell you that given how staged those Lisbon pics are, they were planned for some time & curated (oh yes, Abba’s movie is coming out soon but surely another coincidence). Chris, Abba and their teams knew it was coming, so by breadcrumbing and hinting at a separation, what they did was to ADD SHOCK VALUE to their latest stunt. To get people more excited. To have their emotions run as high as possible. 

Because let’s be honest, what they just did is basically “same old, same old”. So that narrative of a separation helped achieve maximum impact with minimum effort.

Team PR’s role in this latest stunt and the lies they are currently selling…

By drawing so much attention to that sketchy article, Team PR blogs tried to give Chris & Abba’s separation as much hype as they could. Kudos to them for still lying with a straight face. But I guess it’s easier to do that when you are sitting behind a keyboard. https://www.tumblr.com/justenjoythegossip/737798414679605248/pr-spin-credibility-of-team-prteam-real-and-the?source=share

So now after the pics of Chris & Abba in Lisbon, they are selling more lies, but the 2 key ones being that:

The pics are either old and or fake because they are photoshopped and they don’t mean anything

Abba is the one that photoshopped the pic with Chris’ side unaware of it. 

There is a lot to unpack here and to debunk so I am sorry I’ll try to be as succinct as I can. Let’s state the obvious, Chris is the powerful Hollywood star while Abba is a no-name actress from a small country. She is not in charge of anything, his team is likely in command while she is kept on a short leash. She isn’t even allowed to speak in public (remember the GQ event). So to claim that Abba is pulling the strings is absolutely ludicrous. Having said that, neither Chris or Abba is running this shitshow. CAA is most likely in charge. 

Also even if you believe that the pics in Lisbon are fake (more on that later), it doesn’t make one bit of a difference but it does mean something (more on that later as well). There is absolutely no way that either Abba’s side or Chris’ side would leak anything, especially pictures without the other side knowing about it and approving it. If either one of them made the mistake of being seen somewhere when they are supposed to be someplace else, the house of cards would fall down. These people do know how to disappear when they want to or to be seen when they want to. So again, regardless of what you believe of those sights in Lisbon (real or not), Chris was complicit. Without a question. But Team PR blogs always try to soften the blow by presenting Chris as a poor innocent victim to make him look more sympathetic and they present Abba as this arch-villain trolling Chris’ fandom. Their constant lying serves one main purpose: to distract from the actual truth. So let’s spell the truth out. Chris and Abba’s shitshow isn’t over. They lied. Once again. Chris is more than a willing participant in those despicable PR games and Abba is not in charge.

The necessary discussion about Photoshop and the reasons for its blatant use…

I definitely dreaded talking about Photoshop because this subject tends to trigger people, and also because Majorscammer has turned that topic into a complete joke. Since I’m not a tech person, I will discuss it strictly from a PR/marketing standpoint.

Digital retouching is used all the time to try to make a product more appealing to the public so that they buy it. It’s no different in PR. Sometimes, an actress might want a slimmer waistline, an actor who is super self-conscious about his age next to his teenager looking wife might want some wrinkles erased or a fuller set of hair. Photoshop does not equate fake. Sometimes they are just slight (or big) alterations but it’s still very real. 

One friend who is a tech guy did tell me that sometimes when you use AI to alter a picture, you get “weird” mistakes in the pic. So again, the weird digital retouching in a pic might be totally organic. But obviously most of the time, it isn’t organic. And indeed, a pic can be badly altered on purpose because it serves a clear purpose. And agencies do use badly photoshopped pictures as an efficient tool in a PR strategy all the time for the simple reason that it’s meant to get people to talk. It is supposed to drive traffic and feed the discourse.

So again, I won’t discuss whether one pic in Lisbon might be old while the other might be legit or not but seems to have many issues. Why? Because it’s pointless as there is no way to know the truth and more importantly it serves as a distraction. The point is, the truth is right in front of our eyes. They are still selling the narrative that they are a married couple and they use cheap tricks to keep the fandom engaged. 

Chris’ love/hate relationship with his fans and the evil/corrupt tactics in the PR strategy

Chris has very often said that he has the best fans and that he loves them. But I would argue that his relationship to his fandom is far more ambiguous that he would care to admit. We have witnessed a few hints that would suggest that Chris doesn’t value his fandom as much as he should. Scott made certain remarks where he definitely threw his fans under the bus. Even recently on a podcast this past summer. There was also an interaction on Twitter between Chris and Yvette Nicole Brown where Chris thanked her. It was right after Chris & Abba’s first papwalk. And Yvette made some very negative comments about Chris’ fans that were totally over-the-top and unhinged. 

But more importantly, I would argue that actions speak a lot louder than words. And what has Chris signed on? A PR strategy that involves teasing his fans, trolling them, toying with them, manipulating them, gaslighting them and more disgustingly villainizing them. He can claim that “the industry makes you do things you don’t want to do” all he wants but it’s a rationalization. The truth is many of his peers haven’t resorted to such despicable tactics.

Many people have claimed that he has looked ashamed as hell when he was next to her. People have speculated that it was likely because she is a fat shaming, racist, antisemitic, arrogant Nazi sympathizing yacht girl but I don’t think so. I think he has looked embarrassed because of the optics of their relationship, because he looks so much older next to her. This is probably why they were wearing masks for their first papwalk, why all the content that comes out is so heavily curated, why he didn’t want to walk the red carpet with her for the Ghosted premiere etc. Why do I say that he is not ashamed of her Nazism? Well, for the simple reason that he and his team chose her and they very likely knew who she was from the very start. Abba was in a (PR? Real?) relationship with Lucas Bravo before she was linked to Chris. And Lucas and Chris share the same publicist: Meghan. It’s not very believable that she didn’t know who Abba was when they signed on this PR. So if Chris feels any shame other than his age, hopefully it comes from the fact that he knows that this PR strategy that demonizes his fans is despicable. And it is morally and ethically corrupt. 

Laura Benanti’s hilarious sketch as she impersonates Melania Trump for the Colbert show

To end on a much lighter note, I would like to recommend this amazing comedy bit performed by Tony Award winning actress and comic genius Laura Benanti. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8crpSnfl6Hs (start video at 1’54”)

It’s both hilarious and so on point but also very informative on the strategies used in PR tactics. I won’t spoil the ending of the sketch but I think you’ll understand right away why I chose this to illustrate this post. 

[hiccanna-tidbits]

@jackunzel-time

Jackunzel Month Week 2 - Songs Rocks at my Window - Bridgit Mendler

***

Sitting at home I turn on the TV It’s all reality And I don’t wanna watch stupid people Got my phone I check the text between Between you and me ‘Cause I guess you popped into my head and It shouldn't be Friday night Why am I here home alone when

We can run away for the weekend But I’m here alone Wish you’d go throwing rocks at my window We could count the stars from your car hood But I’m here alone Wish you'd go throwing rocks at my window

See it’s been Far too many movies Sinking into me So now I wait for my Prince Charming But I’ve got this picture in my head Of the chapel for our wedding So I guess that I’ve got it bad Just one step at a time Why am I here home alone when

We can run away for the weekend But I’m here alone Wish you’d go throwing rocks at my window We could count the stars from your car hood But I’m here alone Wish you’d go throwing rocks at my window

T-H-R-O-W-I-N-G You’re throwing rocks I wish you were throwing rocks, rocks T-H-R-O-W-I-N-G You’re throwing rocks I wish you were throwing rocks, rocks T-H-R-O-W-I-N-G You’re throwing rocks I wish you were throwing rocks, rocks T-H-R-O-W-I-N-G You’re throwing rocks at my window

We can run away for the weekend But I’m here alone Wish you’d go throwing rocks at my window We could count the stars from your car hood But I’m here alone Wish you’d go throwing rocks at my window

***

Rapunzel lays sprawled on her bed, feet impatiently kicking the comforter. Another Friday night in--but almost never by choice.

Her mother keeps a death grip on all her social activities...a death grip as in she’d kill them off if she could. Hanging out with friends outside of school is forbidden, spending her measly allowance on fast food or amusement parks is forbidden, checking out library books that made moving away just a little too enticing is forbidden.

Basically, anything that demonstrates there’s more to life than being her mother’s pretty little maidservant is off the table.

She checks her phone. Almost 7:00. By now, she’d hoped to be hearing the rattling of pebbles against glass.

Rapunzel’s technically forbidden from hanging out with her friends outside of school, yes. Not that that had ever stopped them before.

At 7:43, she hears a car rumble through her open window. She wonders if Mother’s home early.

Because of course Mother’s allowed to go out on Friday night, hitting up clubs and bars and the like. It’s different when she does it, apparently.

And then comes the sound of her mother’s neat, polished, perfectly-landscaped garden stones hitting her bedroom window. Seconds later, a face framed with messy brown hair is grinning at her from behind her hanging yellow moon-and-star lights.

He’s standing in the branches of a tree a few feet from the house. Rapunzel rolls her eyes.

“I told you to stop climbing that.” Although she shakes her head, she can’t help but smile. “You’re going to fall out and sprain your ankles.”

“Have I ever?” He balances nimbly along a limb, making his way toward her room. She shoots a couple concerned glances at the branch, not much liking the way it creaks beneath him.

Still, she can’t bring herself to be too worried. Jackson Overland’s balance is nothing short of incredible.

“There’s a first time for everything,” she argues anyway.

He smirks. “Yeah, and it’s not today.”

He helps her over the windowsill and onto the branch. She tries not to think about her heart racing when he grabs her hand to steady her, or when he keeps his grip as he guides her toward the trunk.

Dignity discarded, they scurry down the tree like a couple of grimy squirrels and make a dash for Jack’s car. No night to waste before Gothel inevitably stumbles home at 3 am, wasted and potentially furious about her precious flower missing.

They turn onto the highway and drive into the sunset, fleeing the bland, identical streets of suburbia behind. In the distance, downtown lights up, glowing in the growing dusk.

Rapunzel grins, a trickle of excitement running through her. Everything is so much more dynamic in the big city. So much less…stifling. She rolls down the window, taking in the crisp air and the lively chatter and the splashes of autumn color on the tree-lined avenues.

When she first met Jack, she figured all his hours ditching class were spent holed up in his basement, beating some Dark Souls high score. Not so, it turned out. Jack explored the city when he played hooky, chatting people up and making connections in even the most absurd places. He was the champion of knowing a guy, and then that guy knew a guy, and then that guy knew yet another guy.

Tonight she finds out that, because Jack hit it off with some janitor last week, they have exclusive roof access for a 15-story office building.

The city view is breathtaking. A sprinkling of golden yellow windows on gleaming metal, interspersed with the reds and pinks and purples and greens of neon lights.

“It’s amazing,” she murmurs, leaning against the railing. “It’s like you can see the whole world from up here.”

Jack raises his eyebrows. “If you think that’s amazing, wait until I show you a slightly bigger section of urban sprawl. Would that be like…the whole universe, then?”

Rapunzel laughs. “No, no. That’s what you can see from a plane. A larger metropolitan area would be like…a galaxy, at most.”

“It fits. You know, stars and void and all.” He shrugs, gesturing abstractly between lit windows and dark building silhouettes.

She studies him, watching him gaze pensively at the darkening cityscape. For all his pranks and jokes and general tomfoolery, Jack’s thoughts are far deeper and more philosophical than one would initially think.

He’s hardly the shallow doofus he wants people to see him as. Maybe that’s easier—letting people believe he’s nothing but a goofy, fun-loving class clown and not a sensitive, broken teenager tormented by more demons than most.

“You’re so beautiful when you think like that.”

The words come out before she can think better of them.

He turns and gawks at her, dying sunlight giving his chocolatey hair an amber sheen. “Wha--?”

She takes a shaky breath. No turning back now.

“You’re just--you’re really beautiful.”

Although his lean against the building’s railing is casual, there’s an unmistakable challenge written all over his face.

“I am no such thing.”

“Are too!” She scowls defiantly. “You make friends with everyone you meet and get access to some of the most secret, magical spots in the whole city. You’re so smart and you think so deeply and I want to know every part of you. You feel sad and inadequate so much of the time, and you channel it into making people laugh. You’re one of the only people in the world who makes me feel like I’m worth more than how much I can please Mother, and you’re one of the only escapes I get from her. And I think that’s all pretty gorgeous of you.”

For a long time he just stares at her, moth hanging open. Rapunzel blushes.

“Sorry if that was...weird.”

“No, no, not at all." He takes a step toward her. “Just...do you really mean all that?”

“Of course I do.”

An energy hangs in the air between them, tension buzzing like the power lines weaving around the building’s satellite disc. Jack Overland looks ethereal, sunset light glowing off him and city lights reflected in his eyes.

And that's when she decides to hell with it.

Life is short, and she never knows how much time she has until Mother gets home, and it's high time she starts going after what she wants fully and ferociously and unapologetically.

She steps forward and kisses him.

He doesn't know how to react at first, freezing and grunting in surprise. Then he leans into her touch as one of her arms comes up to rest on his chest and the the other loops around the back of his neck.

His arms loop around her legs, and she lets out a delighted laugh as she's lifted off the ground. Jack's always been stronger than he looks, but now it feels euphoric.

Behind them, the sky is a darkening mosaic of pink and purple clouds. An evening chill creeps in, but Rapunzel barely notices it.

All she can feel is Jack.

After what feels like an eternity, he pulls away and grins at her.

“If you’re not too busy, miss.” His voice is a purr in her ear. “I know another place you might like.”

She checks the time. Still a few hours until Mother comes home.

Rapunzel grins back, pressing her forehead against his. “Lead the way, captain.”

“It’ll be my pleasure.” He puts her down with a heavy thump as he says it. “But I’m not carrying you all the way downstairs. I have skinny arms, and they are very tired.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Well, I guess I can find it in me to forgive you.”

***

It’s a whole different world twenty minutes outside the city.

Now they’re sprawled on the hood of Jack's car, listening to crickets in the trees and watching for shooting stars. Rapunzel’s trying to pick out constellations, the night sky suddenly uninhibited by hazy light pollution.

Their fingers are entangled, all pale skin and pink nail polish. Rapunzel doesn’t think she’s ever felt more at peace.

She leans on his shoulder and breathes in his scent, all pine bark and apple cider and ice cream parlors. She wishes she could capture this moment and keep it cupped in her hands, like a firefly glowing through her fingers.

“I don’t want to go home,” she murmurs into his neck. “I know Mother will kill me, but. I’m so sick of bending to her every whim. I wish I could stay with you.”

“Maybe you can.” He turns to her with raised eyebrows. “We could run away, you know. Just for the weekend.”

Rapunzel shakes her head. “Mother would never--”

“It’d be good for her, honestly,” Jack mutters, cutting her off. “Give the woman a good scare, but maybe not make her mad enough to ground you forever. You’ll show up to school on Monday bright and early, prim and proper and ready to jump back into the perfect little image she’s made. But for now? Well...” He grins. “Two days of absolute freedom. No rules, no restrictions, just us driving around and doing whatever the hell we want. A well-deserved break from teen angst. What do you say?”

She smiles cheekily. “Whatever the hell we want?”

“Within reason.”

Rapunzel studies his face, radiant in the starlight. She couldn’t say no to him if she tried.

“You’re on, Overland.”

***

YAAAAAY ANOTHER JACKUNZEL THING THAT TOOK ME AN UNREASONABLY LONG TIME AND VERY MUCH PAST MY BEDTIME! Hahahahahahaha *collapses in exhaustion*

Wow, this Jackunzel month is kind of kicking my ass. In a good way, of course!!! But still!!! TOO many ideas!!! TOO much inspiration!!! Like I only have so much time and was trying to FIX my sleep schedule, WHY!!!

ANYWAYS. This song popped up on a randomly-generated Spotify playlist a few weeks ago, and it had MAJOR Jackunzel vibes, so...here we are! First the song happened. Then the moodboard happened. Then a drabble that was much longer than I planned happened. Starring Brunette Jack because, much like Brunette Rapunzel, he doesn’t get enough love!!! Also I am very much running out of scene white-haired boy pictures to use, god bless </3 I’ve been wanting to use that middle moodboard pic for a long time now, though, so I’m glad I finally got around to it <3

Moodboard pic credits available upon request, as always!

[quinnmusicreview]

Album Review #1: Growin’ Up by Luke Combs (2022)

This album was released on June 24, 2022. I have not listened to it at all (other than the first song which was released as a single). I’m already a pretty big fan of Luke Combs so I’m expecting this album to be pretty good, but we’ll see. I will be grading each song individually, and then giving a grade to the album as a whole when we’ve finished it (which will just be the average grade given to all the songs combined). I also will be explaining why I give each song the grade. So without further ado, enjoy!

Track 1: Doin’ This (8/10)

This song is a good opener for the album as it asks the question “What if you didn’t make it big?” Luke’s answer: the exact same thing. The tune is kind of a basic Luke Combs melody, with the heavy drums and slide guitar.

Track 2: Any Given Friday Night (7/10)

This rowdy song is a good party song after a long week of work. The chorus has a kind of basic honkytonk tune to it, but the song is bad.

Track 3: The Kind of Love We Make (9/10)

A very nice love song. Makes me think of happy dates and fun memories with a significant other. But then again, I always love a good slow song.

Track 4: On the Other Line (9/10)

The premise of the song is kind of reminiscent of the classic song “I’m Gonna Miss Her” by Brad Paisley. His girlfriend is mad at him, but he doesn’t have time to worry about it because he’s “got a six pound largemouth on the other line”. All in all great song because I love a good fishing song!

Track 5: Outrunnin’ Your Memory (Feat. Miranda Lambert) (6/10)

I’d say this song is probably the first skip of the album. The tune isn’t anything special and I might have set my expectations a little too high for this one. I was expecting it to be a sad sounding song, but I honestly can’t tell if the song is supposed to be happy or sad! Maybe after a couple more listens I’ll enjoy it more, but it wasn’t my favorite on this first listen!

Track 6: Used To Wish I Was (8/10)

This song has a kind of different theme to it. A lot of artists in songs talk about achieving their dreams, while in this one Luke celebrates things he used to dream about doing that didn’t work out for him, and how he’s glad that they didn’t work out because he’s happy where he’s at.

Track 7: Better Back When (9/10)

A great song about being young and making good memories. A good one to listen to when you’re in the mood to think back on good times. A pretty bittersweet song. I guess this message in this one is to stay in the moment and appreciate the good times, because you never know when you’ll look back and say “those were the best nights”

Track 8: Tomorrow Me (10/10)

As much as a I like slow love songs, I *love* sad songs like this one. I love the way the bass makes it have a dark-feeling undertone. The theme of missing an ex and wanting them back but also knowing thats the last thing you need. In the chorus he says “‘Cause tomorrow me ain’t gonna like the way things go tonight/If I let you in and think that it’ll be different this time”. Which I can connect to on a personal level, which is why I like this one so much.

Track 9: Ain’t Far From It (9/10)

Another good-time honkytonk bar song to put on your Friday night celebration playlist! Enough said. The piano and guitar are the icing on the cake in my opinion!

Track 10: Call Me (9/10)

Another sad song about two lovers who can’t get over each other. She acts like she hates him but it’s only to cover up that she’s still not over him. Not as good as “Tomorrow Me” in my opinion but still a good one!

Track 11: Middle of Somewhere (7/10)

Coming from the city, I can’t really connect with this one as much. But it’s a great message that “when you’re drivin’ through nowhere/To us, that’s the middle of somewhere”. The song isn’t bad, I just can’t connect with it as much as some of the others.

Track 12: Going, Going, Gone (10/10)

Trying to get over a girl that leaves you is hard. Especially when leaving is all she ever does. And some people are just made to leave. That’s the message of this one, and I can definitely say it hit home with me.

Album Grade: 8.4/10

This album actually surprised me with how good some of the songs are. A lot of the melodies are very similar to his other songs, but they have just enough uniqueness to them to make them feel pretty fresh. All in all the album is great and I’ll definitely be giving it another listen soon!

What would y’all like to see me review next? I’m thinking review Breezy by Chris Brown is going to be next, but I might have to break that one into a couple smaller parts because the album is pretty long and I’m not sure I have that much time (Plus anyone reading probably will lose interest if the article is too long). Feel free to drop any suggestions for artists/album that you want to see me review in the comments, and I might review it next!

Thank you for your time!

—Quinn

[polizwrites]

WIP Update - 27 Sep 2022

I had an amazingly productive week  - I touched 6 fics (2 WIPs & 4 new works) for a total of 4273 words!

I posted a new chapter of the  Stucky--> Stuckony non-traditional a/b/o @psychiccatpanda and I have been collab’ing on to Ao3 - we’ve got the final chapter & an epilogue in draft as we speak!. I also posted a Stony ficlet  here on Tumblr for last week’s  @flashfictionfridayofficial that also  filled an SRB square.  I also posted two fills for the Stuckony Summer Stockings that will be revealed on  Saturday!

I’m stiil at 14 active WIPs  (with a couple of maybe TBCs)  with my current   deadlines being  @suck-tember, and the October writing challenges I hope to participate in:  @fictober-event,  @flufftober & @whumptober.  The @reforgedzine  deadline is also looming large. 

See below cut for the WIPs  (arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc) I am working on  -   feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects   (or any other WIPs I’ve got out there) – they really help feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Stuckony Summer Stockings [due 25 Sep]

This fun gift event (run by the  @stb-bingo mods) lets you share prompts for others to fill.  There’s an initial anonymous reveal on October 1st, then the creator names will be revealed on the 8th.

I wrote a quickie Stuckony smutfic that came in at 587 words and a longer domestic fluff WinterIron kidfic with potential Stuckony endgame that it came in at 1374 words.  

Suck-tember [ Runs thru 30 Sep]

As you might guess from the name,  @suck-tember  is a writing event focused on oral gratification.   I read through the list of prompts and decided to try to combine a few with my bingo squares.  I’ve posted 1 so far  (Day 2: Swollen) and would like to try for 1 or 2 more - maybe the alternate dialog prompts? Here they are if anyone would like to throw me a pairing/plot bunny:

A. “How does it taste?” B. “Have you done this before?” C. “What are you waiting for?” D. “Take a deep breath.” E. “You look so pretty like this.” F. “Open wide.”

Reforged - A WinterIron Zine [Deadline 12 Nov]

I got accepted to submit a  1k-3.5k fic for this project, and have submitted a basic idea & completed my first checkin.    Am poking at it little by little; it’s sitting at  2531 words - so over two-thirds done word-wise.   Plot wise? That’s still TBD…  I have very broad strokes in mind that are going to be tricky to get done in the words I have left…   :: eek::  Got some good feedback from the @reforgedzine   mods that I need to respond to - much appreciated!  

Avengers Bingo [AvB] (Runs thru 24 Dec)

Seven fills posted (5 to Ao3)  and 0 WIPs - I decided to further challenge myself on this 16-square card by pairing up each square with a unique combo of 2 original MCU Avengers, with the final square being PolyVengers. With the help of the STB Enthusiasts Discord folks - I’ve got all 16 squares  planned out, at least in terms of who to write about, and half of them have some sort of idea or crossover square to go along with them. Feel free to toss other plot  bunnies my way…  

* A3 - Reunited  -  posted   Making a Different Call   this morning - an Endgame-compliant Natasha POV retelling of reuniting with Clint.  It  came in at  364 words 

* B1 - Death - thanks to last week’s  Flash Fiction Friday prompt   [#FFF168 Sleepless Nights],  I put together Moments Where the Words Don’t Reach  - a short Steve POV  piece set post  A:IW that also combines my SRB Bruce Banner and MWAPB Crying squares.  It came in at 544 words and will be posted to Ao3 sometime in the next week or two.  

* B3 - Road Trip  -  Bruce & Thor  - Post Grandmaster, pre-Thanos  space shenanigans

* B4 - Age Gap   - Thor/Tony - possible crossover with TSB One Night Stand  (obvious title: Thunderstruck)

* C1 - Opposites Attract - Clint/Thor  - there was a fun Tumblr  headcanon going around about a Bumbling Foreigner whose ignorance of  local customs  results in him flirting with/proposing to the prince -  this seems like a perfect matchup!  

* C3 - Reincarnation AU  -  Natasha & Tony  - post-Endgame.  

* D1 - Friends w/ Benefits  - Clint/Steve - crossover with MWAPB Hawkeye/Clint Barton and possibly SRB - Never Have I Ever

* D2 - Romeo & Juliet AU  -  basic idea:  Steve (jock) & Tony  (geek) trying out for title roles in R&J - despite their respective  FWB groups thinking it’s a terrible idea.  Title:  Two Polycules, Alike in Dignity

*  D3 - Bed Sharing  -  Bruce/Natasha - AoU compliant.

Man With a Plan (Steve Rogers) Bingo [MWAPB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)

Ten fills, 2 WIPs and several Vague Ideas/potential cross fills with other bingos.  Prompts cheerfully accepted!  

* B3 - Farmer’s Market  -  crossover with TSB Doing Groceries. Moodboard + ficlet?

* B4 - Powerless AU  - Pivoted to combine this with my SRB  FREE square for a bingo, along with the Stucky Bingo Friends to Lovers square for a  “let’s get married for health insurance”  ficlet  - In Sickness and In Health is coming in at 1035 words and will post Friday,

* I1 - Steve is here for TFAtWS  - this might go well with my BBB  “Oh, hell no"  square - Steve trolling  Bucky & Sam by sending the old man in with his shield?  (moodboard & ficlet?)

* I5 - Dogsitting - possible crossover with  BBB “Run”  square - Steve & Bucky dogsitting for Lucky?  (moodboard + ficlet)

* N1 - School AU/Teacher AU  - if I decide to continue on with Technicalities   - I could fill this square  :: ponders::

* N3 - Online shopping - this might be fun as a crossover with BBB Thighs  Sam buys a revealing swimsuit for Bucky as a gag that gets Steve in a tizzy.

* N4 - Soulmates -  got inspired by a dream to start a Stucky fantasy AU (magician!Steve/ensorcelled!Bucky) that @bill-longbow  is collaborating on with me.  This will also fill my Stucky Bingo AU: Supernatural square.  We’re currently sitting at 1640 words  (984-ish of which are mine). Current Last Line:  "My men will accompany you back to Brookline in the morning.”

* G4 - Canon Divergence post CA:TWS - possible  crossover with BBB  Kill List – Bucky wreaking havoc on Hydra bases and  Steve & Sam catch up with him

* G5 - Friends to Lovers -  might use this for Chapter 3 of Mutual Pinning

* O1 - Crying - see AvB Death square above

*  O2 - Sex Pollen  -  Teenage Groot pollen =  aphrodisiac  hi-jinks. Quill & Gamora  warn the  couple (stucky)/throuple (Stuckony)  ahead of time, so no  dub-con.

* O3 - Hawkeye/Clint Barton  -  see AvB - Friends w/ Benefits  above.

StarkBucks Bingo - Round 3  (SBB_R3) - Ends 31 Dec

5 fills, 1 WIPs and several Vague Ideas - soliciting plot bunnies or other kick-starters.

* B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.“  - Possible crossover with  BBB - KINK: Seduction Mission?  

* B3 - AU: Canon Divergence -  combining this with TSB Canon Divergent: Nobody Dies   by pulling together some leftovers/discards from “ Ain’t No Party Like a ‘Saved the Universe’ Party”.  Clearing the Air is currently coming in at 770 words and will get posted sometime next month.  

* I2 - Mistaken Identity - crossover with TSB K5 - Protectiveness -  “The Mechanic, The Soldier & The Artist” - mob/assassin AU with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith twist?  

* I4 - Canon: Avengers Academy  - will probably do Stuffed Marvels sketches of Tony and Winter, as I know very little about the game/canon.  

* I5 - Matchmaker Bots - possible crossover with TSB Occupational Hazard

* N2 - Blanket - Thanks to the July BBB Discord party , I have an idea for combining this with my TSB   AU: College square and BBB Funeral square.

* G3 - “This might as well happen.” Going to see if I can squish this into a Stucky –> Stuckony spur-of-the-moment threesome fic inspired by a series of posts with @needyoucap over on the STB Enthusiasts Discord server that in turn led to their WIP  Steve & Bucky’s Sexy Bucket List.  My version (alternating POV)  is sitting at  1049 words and will also fill my TSB square  Hindsight.  

* O1 - Royalty - crossover with TSB - IronWidow  &  BBB   AU: Arranged Marriage -  pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion  back up?

* O6 - AU: Biker  - Grease 2  fusion  anyone?  😁  I watched the movie a couple of weeks ago and took notes -  It’s not gonna be a faithful adaptation, but hopefully fun - tho am having a tough time deciding who is Michael (probably Bucky, tho a case could be made for Tony)

Hero Hardships Bingo  [HHB]  (Runs thru 31 Dec)

One fill so far  with a few Vague Ideas …

* I3 - Unimaginable Grief  – I‘m thinking an post-Endgame Rhodey POV would work nicely here…

* O3 - Dating a civilian -  this would fit perfectly with another chapter of Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’) , for which I currently have a basic plot point or two rolling around in my head.

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round 4 [BBB_R4] (Runs thru 7 Jan 2023)

Ten fills,  four WIPs  & ideas for everything except one square  - Working on a Column B bingo to start.

* B2 - Funeral - see SBB N2 - Blanket  above

* B3 - Sam Wilson|Falcon - this would be a good candidate for a continuation of After One Or Two False Starts

* U2 - AU: Roommate  - Still wanting to use the Meet Ugly prompt: 02. I bought a house three months ago but I’m finally moving in and discover you’ve been squatting because you’re homeless    – probably WinterHawk with  recovering!Bucky being the squatter in Clint’s apartment building.  

* U4 - AU: Arranged Marriage - will probably pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion  back up for this one.  

* U5 - Kill List -  see MWAP  - G4 - Canon Divergence.  Post CA:TWS above

* C2 - “Oh, hell no” - possible crossover with MWAP I1 - Steve is here for TFaWS

* C4 - KINK: Aftercare -  possibly MWAP Sex Pollen or  TSB KINK: Concubine

*C5 - “This might as well happen” -  Used this for the Sept BBB Round Robin  (crackfic - Emperor’s New Groove inspired)  wrote 276 words toward it  - not sure if/when it will post,  but will add a link when it does.   😁

* K1 - Thighs - combined this with with SRB Game Night  and HHB Hiding Discomfort for a 3 Prompts --> Summary game  that I may turn into a BarberShop Quartet (Steve/Bucky/Natasha/Sam) ficlet.  (tho the HHB prompt will probably get saved for Whumptober, if I participate)

* K2 - Comics - sew the  Stuffed Marvel Classic Comics Bucky Barnes I drew up for Bucky’s birthday.  

* K3 - KINK: Edging  - crossing over with TSB KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging & I finally got a start on the WinterIron PWP for this (Bucky POV with toy play and Tony as a power bottom)  Hanging by a Moment is sitting at 96 words at the moment.

* Y2 - Never the fall that kills you -  this might be the title for a reverse hanahaki WinterIron prompt from @lacrimula-falsa ….  

* Y3 - “Run”  -  see MWAP I5 - Dogsitting above.

* Y4 - KINK: Seduction Mission - crossover with SBB - B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.”  

* ADOPTED1 - Peggy Carter -  potential WW3some shenanigans ahead - another 3 prompts --> Summary inspiration  currently  395 words into a  Peggy & Bucky conversation at the moment.  

Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 2  (SRB_R2) - Ends 31 Jan

Eleven fills posted & 1 WIP   – happily accepting plot bunnies here as well.  

* A1 - Never Have I Ever -  see AvB  Friends with Benefits

* A4 - Touch Attention/Denial  - See BBB Peggy Carter square?

* B2 - Mile High Club -  this seems made for Stony sexy shenanigans…

* B3 - Bruce Banner -  see AvB  Death above.

* C1 - Arranged Marriage - combined this with last week’s Flash Fiction Friday prompt [#FF169 Meeting of the Minds] for  Making Their Own Arrangements - a Stony ficlet where Tony (and Steve) discover a potential upside to having their family and friends pick their perfect spouse.  It came in at 476 words and will be posted to Ao3 sometime next month. 

* C3 - FREE -  see MWAP Powerless AU

* E2 - Comics Nomad Steve  - SWC sketch of Nomad!Steve

Tony Stark Bingo - Round 6  (TSB_R6)  [Ends 28 Feb]

Five fills and six  WIPs at the moment -    with  Vague Ideas for almost every other square. 

* S1 - Whiplash -  used this for Chapter 6 of  Flawed Hypothesis,  which posted on Ao3 last Friday and came in at 1253 words. 

* S2 - Canon Divergence: Nobody Dies - see SBB AU: Canon Divergence

* T1 - One Night Stand - see AvB - B4 - Age Gap

* T2 - Doing Groceries - see MWAP B3 - Farmer’s Market

* T3 - Pepper Potts/Rescue -  remix of sabrecmc’s  Indecent Proposal

* T4 - KINK: Concubine - possible crossover with   BBB C4 - KINK: Aftercare?

* A4 - AU: College - see SBB N2 - Blanket

*A5 - Scott Lang  - @27dragons​ shared an interesting plot bunny during last weekend’s TSB Discord party that I may end up using; that or a follow up to A Piece of the Action

* R1 - Tony’s Poor Life Choices  - @somesortofitalianroast​ had the excellent idea to turn this on its head - now that he’s with [partner of your choice] - he’s making fewer poor life choices?

* R2 - IronWidow -  next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion ?

* R3 - Dancing -  This will fill  Chapter 7 of  Flawed Hypothesis -- it’s in more-or-less final draft form at 1061 words and will finish the fic, with an Epilogue coming in at 702 words with an accompanying (and amazing!) graphic created by my lovely and talented collaborator, @psychiccatpanda​!!

* R4 - Occupational Hazard - see SBB I5 - Matchmaker Bots

* K1 - Endgame Fix-It  -  had a semi-cracky idea for this over the weekend and pounded out a ficlet where Tony does a bit of solo time-traveling.   Rhodey Had a Point  is coming in at 511 words and will get posted sometime next month. 

* K2 - Secret Admirer -  carried this over from last round so I could try my hand a remix of Seeds of Love  (WinterIron hanahaki fic by the super-talented @hddnone).  Potential title:  Wraps Around My Heart, Refusing to Unwind

* K3 - KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging -  see BBB KINK: Edging 

* K4 - Hindsight -  see SBB “This might as well happen”

* K5 - Protectiveness -  see SBB Mistaken Identity

*ADOPTED1 - Movie Retelling -  I was also inspired this weekend to fill this square (mostly because there’s an AU: Western square on the list I want to adopt!)  I didn’t quite get it done before the party closed, but Tested to the Breaking Point - a Rhodey POV of the panic attack scene from IM3 - is coming in at 713 words and will get added to my Scenes from a Friendship  IronBros series  before the next TSB Discord party. 

Stucky Bingo Round Four [SB_R4] (Ends 31 May 2023

Two fills and two WIPs with a couple of other vague ides.

* I5 - Friends to Lovers -  see MWAPB  Powerless AU above.

* O4 - AU: Supernatural - see MWAPB Soulmates  above.

I also adopted the Writing Format: Remix one of your fics  square  – am thinking of taking one of my Stony or WinterIron  No Powers fics and adapting it to a Stucky pairing – if you have any requests - hit me up!  

WinterIron - No Powers AU  –  Stony No Powers AU

————

On other creative fronts:  I have a  Comics Bucky Stuffed With Character figure in progress. Am also gearing up for a classic monster/horror con in October and a  superhero con in March - so am focused on building up stock for both.  Plus I have to make space for Marvel Trumps Hate -  the preview week starts 16 Oct!

if  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for the holiday season, check  out Stuffed With Character   over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 80!).   They’re  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design  requests  for any fandom!

[daisyvramien]

Camp Nano (& Health) Update!!

HEY HI HELLO !!! So my headache is low for the first time in 2 weeks so I can actually advance stuff + my coughing got a bit better!! Still sick with covid but I'm capable of working AND focusing which is good!! I have no taste, no smell and I haven't had a coffee in like 6 days (which is a big deal cause I take 6/7 per day SO LMAO) but it's okay, tea is my bestfriend, same for sparkling water. I'm less active in the Fox' Den and everywhere basically (sorry I was trying to survive XD) but I'm planning on being more active now that I'm feeling better. 📝 For Camp Nano, I have the draft for "Of Dusk and Dawn" (Fantasy Romance with Slow-Burn) which is good but sadly it's not the Nano 50k goal (my draft with plotlines and all are 15k, this is not the "story", just the basic plots, subplots, characters and more) and it's not like I can modify it since this is basically like already "locked in" on their website? I also started this paranormal thriller, dark academia ghost story with slow-burn and romance, cold case, enemies to lovers and I'm LOVING the spooky vibes so far! I just need to get into the mood tho to write it cause I'm the one who giggles when the lights start to flicker and I hum "Shake Shake Senora" to calm myself down in Halloween Haunted Houses so- 🤣😭🤣😭🤣

But what I do have, is like a bunch of nice, sassy, funny quotes and here are some cause they made me giggle last night and I hope they make you giggle too (a bit at least):

"If you're looking for sympathy, you won't find it here. Try the kindergarten down the street, they might have some spare hugs."

"If ghosts are just echoes of the past, then I must have some serious fucking reverb."

"I don't believe in ghosts, but I also don't trust empty hallways."

"I see your mouth is in fine working order. Shame that brain of yours doesn't follow suit."

"If you hear the sound of chains rattling, it's either a ghost, or my landlord tracked me down and he's coming to collect rent. I hope it's a ghost."

"Oh, you want to play ghost hunter? Let me guess, you brought your Scooby gang and everything?"

"I don't believe in ghosts and shit, but I do believe in the power of a good exorcism to clear out annoying classmates."

"You think the haunted library is scary? Try finding a clean bathroom, in this place, on a Friday night!"

"They say the dead don't sleep, but neither do the students at this academy. Coincidence? I think not."

"This banshee sounds familiar… Are you sure your ex didn't die, Nate ?"

"If you're going to haunt my damn quarters, at least have the decency to pay rent!" Also hi, we have new people here!! Since you're new, what is the Fox' Den ? Well it's a Discord Group I created for writers!! There are many categories, sections, motivation and more and if you want to join, feel free to send me a dm!📜🧙‍♂️💭

Also, please DO take care of yourselves peeps!!! Like genuinely, creating is great but you cannot create if you're not here anymore so put yourself first and do take care of yourself 🌿📖

[hlgfy-blog]

FLAG-IDA + VENETOCLAX

That is the induction chemotherapy regimen this time around. Jake is part of a research study (est. 2016, phase 2) that is proving out the use of Venetoclax in combination with the Flag-Ida to put leukemia into remission. The science is pretty interesting but I'm not going to try to explain it here. Call Jake for that. It's also apparently pretty hard hitting so maybe don't call next week.

As far as timing, he was admitted on Friday Sept. 8th and they put in a triple lumen picc line (as opposed to a port). The seven day chemo treatment began on Sunday Sept. 10th. Every day was a pill, two chemo drips, and a growth factor shot in the belly.

After his induction chemo last time, Jake stayed in patient until his counts recovered. This time they let him come home to Austin and he has been recuperating at home as of Sept 16th. The risk factors of being in the hospital vs. in a home with three smallish children not being all that different I guess.

He basically lives in the 'primary bedroom' by himself and wears a mask anytime he leaves that room. He also needs to get labs three days a week and platelet and red blood infusions as needed. And go to the emergency room if he gets a (neutropenic) fever above 100.4.

As of labs on Friday, his white blood is still at 0. I'm really hoping to see a number on that print out by the end of next week. The kids aren not not snotty and you all know Jake has a really hard time missing out on things.

#hlgfy

[gjjokok]

20 - August 27, 2023 (sunday)

Wow it has been a really long time since I came to this Tumblr blog! I guess that's a good thing because it means I've been mentally stable for a while lol. Some things that happened since I last journalled:

Got completely over Syl

Had a situationship with some other people, most namely Royo (i guess)

Had a very serious situationship with Will who I was pretty much dating and really really liked

Moved to new york with EY, made many friends here

Living with Daniel in new york which is crazy since we both thought we hated each other when we first met

In new york, fell in deep LIKE with Kevin Wu who I met when I visited New York last summer with Royo but barely remember meeting. Also have met many other notable boys in new york (ricky, JC) but Kevin is by far the most notable

Anyways, life has actually been going really well and up until about 2 hours ago before I had a nap I have been doing great. But then I woke up from a nap alone in our apartment and feel like crying for unknown reasons so lets see why I feel so bad!

The thing most pressing on my mind is my health anxiety. I feel like this is something a lot of people have, but it is truly so frustrating how I will have (or at least think that I have) 1 major health concern after another. Most recently I was really sick, like insanely sore throat, for about a week where I thought I had strep throat and was stressed because I dont understand the american health care system and didn't know how to get treated or how expensive it would be. It got better last week and I was fine for about 3 days...until now...I just have random double vision. Not all the time, but when I look at something too close to me or if it's really bright in my eyes then I see double. When I close one eye it's totally fine, and a lot of the time I can walk around fine but then I'll rub my eyes and feel like I'm going to fall over because everything is double and I feel a bit dizzy. It's like I've been drunk constantly for the past few days. When I look it up it's either like "GO TO THE ER NOW YOU HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR OR ANEURISM" or "yeah there's not much that can be done other than monitor it and if it persists for 12+ months without improvement then there is a surgery." This is stressing me out so much because it just makes me feel out of it when I'm hanging out with people and walking around doing basic stuff because it takes extra effort just for me to not see everything in double. I would just go to urgent care, but based on what I saw online i dont think they could do much, and I dont know how expensive it would be....anyways if it continues for another few days I will definitely get it checked out, but it's been better today so I'm hoping it's correcting itself..

I think this is more just a result of the fact I feel alone in this exact moment, but I feel so depressy about Kevin not wanting to be with me. In short, Kevin and i met and get along SO WELL and his personality is perfect and I cant keep my hands (and mouth) off of him when he's around me. I never would have came onto him if he didn't flirt with me first, but I'm just so into him and everything about him. However, we have both always said we aren't looking to date - that changed for me about a month in and I realized I really like him and want him to be mine. I spoke about this with him about 5 days ago, and this hasn't changed for him so he still isn't looking to date. To protect my feelings I decided that I need to talk with him less then, but I'm just so sad because I really saw a future for us or I thought we could at least try dating. Since we spoke. I've been generally good and am starting to accept we are just friends and I've been speaking very casually to some other guys. I really thought we were in a good place because we were hanging out at a club on Friday night and we kissed a lot with no strings attached and it felt great. And then him and Tommy, Ricky, Merlin, Chris came over to have dinner with Daniel and i at our place and to play games and stuff. It was so fun and I had no sad thoughts about wanting to be with him. But now I wake up from this nap alone in our apartment, and god I wish I could just hangout with him and cuddle with him and maybe I still have more work I need to do with myself to accept that him and I will never be together. Similar with Syl, I think this is so hard with him because I would have never come on to him first but he started things with me and then decided he doesn't want to be with me after I got so emotionally invested. But, I got over Syl eventually and now we're good friends, and Kevin is kind of more mature and a better person than Syl in general so I know I'll be able to get over Kevin and be friends with him hopefully for a long time.

I was more anxious about this last weekend and earlier this week, but I really feel like I never belong in any group I'm in. After never fitting in with friend groups that are all straight or all girls, I found gay people I love to hangout with in Toronto and New York, but they're nearly all asian so I still feel like I dont belong. This gives me huge imposter syndrome when I'm out with my friends and I kind of hate taking pictures because it is so obvious that I don't belong. It also doesn't help when I feel like I'm always the one reaching out to make plans with people instead of people reaching out to me. For example when I ask people what they're doing for EZoo next weekend, people are very inviting and ask me to join them, but only after I reach out first to ask them their plans. It would be really nice to get an invite to something without being an after thought for one (however as I type that out I remember so many times people have invited me to parties or to cottages or to movies without me asking so many I'm only remembering the times that I don't get invited).

So that's everything I can think of that might be making me feel anxious right now! I just want this double vision to go away...I can deal with heartbreak from Kevin and I can try to strengthen my relationships with friends, but this constant anxiety from feeling like I might die at any time is kind of ruining my life right now. I guess this is in my control though because I can just go to urgent care and at least know that I did everything I can instead of just waiting and hoping it'll go away..

[tehuti88-art]

9/2/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Jakob Wolfstein. He's a pacifist sort who's been through a lot. An experiment leaves him with incredible strength and intelligence but he's good at hiding this from everyone else for a long while. There'll be more about him later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Not much to say about his design except that he's supposed to look rather thin and haggard.

TUMBLR EDIT: Wolfstein is one of my "intermediary" Trench Rats characters who assumedly came into existence around 2000, as a bit character who was basically there to witness the brutal torture and rape LC Silver Rat undergoes while in Nazi custody. This is written out in an old, out-of-date adult scene which also features...ugh, guess I have to check...hm well, it's a bit different from what I remembered. It features the character who only recently acquired the name Sgt. Kaspar Lange, and the character who by now is SUPPOSED to be Dr. C/Kammler, yet in this text is referred to only as the "interrogator." Which doesn't sound like Dr. C. But that's who I picture now attempting the (unsuccessful) interrogation, since he's the one who sics Lange on Silver, and the other main possibility, Capt. Himmel, takes no active role in such things. (I don't think he's present during this incident. That could be an intriguing plot point.) Why is Wolfstein, another prisoner, present? This wasn't properly explained as far as I recall (I don't want to read through the outdated thing), but Wolfstein himself, in the scene, decides he has to witness what's going on, no matter how awful (and it gets pretty damn awful in ways I can't describe here), rather than turning away, so that if Silver ever gets the chance at justice, Wolfstein can clearly testify as to what exactly he had to endure. In the new version of events, he does still do this, but there's also a reason why he's there in the first place. So, let's get going.

Jakob Wolfstein's (his first name is a pretty new addition) past is largely unknown to me. He and his family, including sister Johanna and cousin or family friend Noah Kirchheimer, attempt to escape when the Nazis come for them; Noah and Johanna succeed, but Jakob is captured, shoved in a truck, put on a train. He's brought to Maj. Konstantin Klaus's camp. Unlike Ernst Dannecker, commandant of the camp in the canine version of the city, Klaus isn't particularly known for cruelty or sadism; he doesn't tend to strike terror into his captives by merely walking past, the way Dannecker did. He's more practical, treats his job like a chore, and for the right price he can even grant privileges now and then. He's still a selfish Nazi a-hole but he can be reasoned with. Unfortunately, unlike Dannecker's relatively small labor camp, Klaus's camp is much bigger, and is a combination labor/extermination camp, meaning it has gas chambers. Like I said, Klaus is practical, and he doesn't have room in his camp for everybody who comes through. Selections on the arrival ramp are necessary. Adult women are sent to another camp. Pregnant women, children, the elderly, and the sick or infirm are sent left--to the gas. The rest are sent right--to work. Wolfstein stands in the selections line and since he'd heard rumors previously about what's been happening to his fellow Jews, he very quickly catches on to what "left" and "right" mean. He nervously makes his way up the line; the SS officer doing the selections barely glances at him before jerking a hand at the air--"Right." Letting out a breath, Wolfstein steps away from the line and into the camp proper.

He's subjected to a terrifying, whirlwind process of official entry into the camp system by handing over the few belongings he still has in his pockets--"Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on them," the officer overseeing this part of the process says, as if he's said it a million times--being ordered to strip off all his clothes (humiliating), getting sent into a shower room (he briefly panics, thinking he's been sent to the gas chambers after all, until a belt of icy water strikes him and he and the others are ordered to hurry and wash up), haphazardly being issued striped uniforms and shoes (the officer here asks sizes, then hands over clothes while muttering, "Close enough"), having color-coded badges stitched on (Wolfstein gets a yellow star), and quickly getting numbers tattooed on their left arms (Wolfstein winces and turns away, not because it hurts, but because his faith prohibits tattoos, so this is yet another humiliation.) (Unless/until I change my character designs, male rats in my story don't get their heads shaved as they don't have hair, only fur. Female rats, and canines of both genders, do get their heads shaved.) He's completely demoralized and discouraged by the time he goes back out into the camp and is assigned a bunk for later and work to do. But, he reasons, at least he's alive.

(Wolfstein doesn't yet realize something Josef Diamant, the canine creator and leader of the resistance group the Diamond Network, mentions in the story: Every camp is a death camp. Just some of them kill you more slowly than others, is all.)

Wolfstein isn't especially strong or anything, but he's resilient, so he does his work the best he can, keeps his head down, doesn't draw attention to himself. The camp sometimes produces goods for the SS to sell, and business-minded Klaus keeps general track of which prisoners produce the best work the most quickly; Wolfstein is quite good at this, so every time there's a need for craftworkers, he gets assigned to this duty. He learns to sew, so when prisoners make SS uniforms, he can do that as well. Eventually he's permanently shifted from heavy labor to craftwork. He offers to stitch up the cuff of Klaus's coat when it's accidentally torn by another prisoner; not only does this spare the prisoner from a potential beating, but Klaus offers him privileges. Wolfstein turns this down. One of the kapos has already warned him that it's just as risky to be on the SS's good side as to be on their bad side, at least when you live in a camp; get along too well with the guards, and your fellow prisoners could become your new enemies. Wolfstein witnesses this happen with another prisoner, so he decides to eschew privileges, do his job, not get in trouble. At least he's alive.

One day the camp doctors summon the prisoners to the medical ward and take blood samples from everyone. Wolfstein thinks little of this, such things happen often. But then he's summoned back and made to give another sample. The doctors confirm the results and have him escorted to Commandant Klaus's office. By now Wolfstein is getting very nervous, wondering if he's sick, and if he'll be sent to the gas chamber. Klaus, however, informs him he's being taken to a different medical facility: A doctor is running an experiment there, and Wolfstein has the right blood type required. "Will miss having you around, Jude," Klaus says, "you make good stitches." Guards bustle him off to a waiting truck, he's shoved in the back, and driven away. The only thing missing is the train.

Wolfstein has heard vague rumors of "experiments"; Klaus's camp isn't really known for them, but the doctors supposedly do awful things in other camps. He's never been involved in any of this business. Now he's brought to a large building complex in the middle of the city, big enough to house its own small camp if it wanted, and taken inside to be processed again--stripped, cold shower, new striped clothes and yellow star, then a cold clinical room with a sort of bed/table in the middle and a cell to the side. The doctor, thin and sharp and with cruel eyes and glasses, calls himself "Dr. C" and tells Wolfstein he's participating in an important medical study, but that's the only information he gets. He's strapped to the table, made to drink something that almost makes him spit up, and an IV is placed in his arm. The doctor stands nearby and watches. Nothing seems to happen. After the IV bag runs empty, Wolfstein is disconnected and taken to a damp, dingy cell in another part of the building. Much different from the aseptic experiment room, it's mildewy and has nothing but a bare bunk with a blanket and pillow projecting from one wall, a hole to go in, a tiny window that lets in a tiny bit of light. He's given a bit of food and water and that's it for the day. He curls up under the threadbare blanket, head burrowed into the lumpy pillow, and shivers as he tries to go to sleep, thinking of his family and telling himself, at least he's alive.

Over the next several days this process is repeated. A new party joins the observations--an SS captain with an unpleasant glare. He never participates, just watches. Wolfstein assumes he's some sort of supervisor; he and the doctor don't seem to like each other. Wolfstein is perplexed that the experiment seems to be accomplishing nothing until one day his guards put restraints on his wrists like they always do when transporting him from his cell and when he lowers his arms, they snap off. Everyone is startled, Wolfstein especially. They put on another pair and he's more careful this time, assuming it was a compromised pair, though Dr. C is interested when the guards mention this. He orders Wolfstein to break the shackles again. Wolfstein hesitates until the doctor picks up a cattle prod he keeps nearby--he jerks back, and again the shackles snap off. Excited, Dr. C orders the guards to leave, but calls the SS officer to come watch. He points at the exam table and orders Wolfstein to lift it. Wolfstein is positive he's about to get shocked with the prod as he stoops to grasp the bottom corner of the heavy metal table; hears the SS officer mutter, "What are you trying to prove--?"--then hears his voice cut off as the corner of the table leaves the floor. He abruptly drops it with a gasp, the CLANG reverberating through the small room. The captain is gawking and Dr. C is beaming.

He's tested on various other things and the truth soon becomes apparent: Not only has his strength greatly increased, but so have his physical endurance (he's subjected to various typically torturous tests including being immersed in ice water, with few ill effects) and his intelligence. Mathematical equations which previously would have made no sense to him are now solved effortlessly. Dr. C had had his suspicions previously that the serum used in the IV infusions was only effective on a particular rare blood type and even rarer mutation--Wolfstein's results finally confirm this. He arranges for other members of the SS--which, by now, Wolfstein has figured out are funding the experiment--to come and see what he can do. And Wolfstein gets a very bad feeling. When Dr. C orders him to show off his abilities, he refuses. Won't break his shackles, won't lift heavy objects, won't do the math. When Dr. C shoves his hands in ice water, he soon jerks them back out as if it hurts. The officers look increasingly skeptical as Dr. C gets increasingly desperate. "PERFORM, verdammt!" he hisses, but Wolfstein plays dumb, even when the doctor starts hitting him over his back--the blows don't hurt nearly as much as they should, but he flinches from them anyway. The SS officers finally leave, unimpressed; oddly, the captain, who'd witnessed Wolfstein's abilities earlier, says nothing to clear the matter up. Dr. C starts beating and whipping Wolfstein so severely that the blows finally start to hurt--obviously there's a limit to the serum's effectiveness, and the doctor draws blood. The SS captain intervenes to stop the beating, arguing that it wouldn't do for him to kill his one successful test subject; the doctor at last relents, albeit still incredibly angry. The officer assists Wolfstein into the neighboring cell and closes it, though he does give Wolfstein a small towel to dab at the blood leaking from his back; "Danke," Wolfstein says softly.

Dr. C decides to leave Wolfstein in this particular cell, which means he gets to witness everything Dr. C's other test subjects are put through. Everything. Wolfstein had resolved himself to enduring his own pain; having to watch others in pain, while he can do nothing, is a uniquely cruel form of torture. The doctor also comes up with a different way to prove Wolfstein's capabilities to the SS; he straps Wolfstein down, invites them again to watch, and pulls out a scalpel. Then proceeds to make two cuts across Wolfstein's chest and a longer cut down the middle--vivisection cuts. He carefully pulls back the bleeding skin and fat just a little bit. The SS captain looks a little green while the others seem impressed. Wolfstein just feels too violated to put up an act. The officers are considerably more enthusiastic when they leave, and the project is ensured further funding. Dr. C smugly stitches Wolfstein back up and puts him back in his cell. Wolfstein huddles in the corner and cries silently to himself. It doesn't seem like such a good thing to be alive anymore.

Dr. C loses some interest in him as he expands his search for other suitable test subjects, since, despite the promising results, it simply won't do for the most successful subject to be a Jew. Dr. C needs an Aryan subject. Unfortunately, the necessary blood type and mutation are so rare that it takes him a long while to find another subject. One day Wolfstein overhears the doctor and the SS captain arguing heatedly; a blood type test has come back as a match, and apparently, it belongs to the captain's son. From the sound of it, the young man is mentally slow and living in an institution--a highly unusual situation for an SS officer to be in, as such people are regarded as "life unworthy of life." Dr. C argues that he would be the perfect test subject for this project. The captain angrily retorts, "He's my son--he's YOUR nephew! How dare you tell me this is best for him! How dare you think this is what your sister would want!" Wolfstein at last realizes these two are brothers-in-law.

The argument ends in a stalemate, Dr. C failing to convince the captain to hand over custody of his son. Shortly after, however, Wolfstein notices the captain doesn't come around anymore, and when he's in his old cell (he's sometimes kept there when no one is in the experimentation room, and now that Dr. C is focusing on other things he isn't always forced to watch), someone new is brought in. The new captive is tall and well muscled but relatively young, still in his teens; he keeps his head down, and though his voice is unusually deep, his speech is simple, halting, tentative. He wears a striped outfit like Wolfstein but instead of a yellow star, he has a black triangle with the word "Blöd"--stupid. As he's put in the cell, he asks if "der Hauptsturmführer" will come to visit him; Dr. C brusquely replies that Hauptsturmführer Himmel is too busy with other things to come visit. He leaves, and Wolfstein watches the hulking teenager sit and huddle into the corner of his cell, hugging his knees to his chest and suddenly looking quite small. In the dimness he thinks he even sees his eyes glimmer with tears. For as big and intimidating as he is, he's still little more than a boy, and now he's alone.

As this new prisoner is subjected to the same tests Wolfstein went through, the two of them get to know each other just a little. His name is Kolten, and he's quite curious about Wolfstein, pointing to his yellow star and saying, "Jude...?"; when Wolfstein confirms this, he frowns and says, "You don't look like a Jew." Dr. C and the guards, as well as the caretakers at the hospital he lived in most of his life, have of course said lots of things about Jews, and he's surprised to learn most of them aren't true. Wolfstein isn't at all like he'd been led to believe he would be. Wolfstein is saddened when he points out his black badge and almost proudly proclaims himself "stupid" because all the doctors have said so. So it must be true. Wolfstein points out that what the doctors told him about Jews wasn't true, so perhaps he's not stupid after all? Kolten falls silent at that, and retreats. He refuses to discuss it further, though Wolfstein can tell he's definitely wondering about it.

One day, Capt. Himmel mysteriously returns--Wolfstein isn't on hand to witness exactly how and when, but he does notice he has a bandage covering his throat, barely visible under his collar, and he speaks in barely more than a whisper now. He starts visiting Kolten diligently; Kolten is sulky at first, but soon forgives. Himmel often sneaks him candies; once when he notices Wolfstein in the neighboring cell, he gestures him to come closer, holding out his hand, palm down. Wolfstein uncertainly holds out his own hand, palm up, and Himmel deposits several chocolate coins. Wolfstein is startled at first, then his eyes tear up and he barely manages to thank him; Himmel, nonplussed by the reaction, leaves without a word. Kolten, misinterpreting Wolfstein's tears, gently tells him the coins aren't real gold but are candies: "You peel off the gold, and you eat the chocolate." Wolfstein wipes his eyes dry and thanks him as well.

Wolfstein starts to get a stronger hint that something is up between the doctor and the captain when Himmel appears in the experimentation room one day, sets a bottle of saline solution on the counter, and starts furtively searching the cabinets and drawers. Wolfstein has a suspicion that he's seeking the serum used in the experiments, which is kept in a small locked and refrigerated compartment; he taps his bars to get Himmel's attention, silently points at the metal sinks, then at the refrigerated cabinet. Himmel examines the sinks for a moment before locating the key hidden underneath; he quickly climbs up to the cabinet, unlocks it, and pulls out certain vials, studying their labels--uses a syringe to empty their contents, and replaces it with the saline--puts everything back exactly as it was. Wolfstein watches this all with intense curiosity. He gestures at Himmel not to open the door until a guard has walked past, then the captain leaves as if he were never there. In following days, Dr. C expresses frustration that newer versions of his serum, meant to work on a greater variation of blood types, are completely ineffective. Wolfstein is stunned by the realization that Capt. Himmel is sabotaging the medical project from the inside.

During Wolfstein's captivity, other test subjects come and especially go, but only one other displays successful results like his and Kolten's. Nazi soldiers bring an American prisoner of war to project headquarters; they captured him while attacking a tiny group of soldiers who'd recently arrived from the United States to keep track of Nazi Germany's activities. By sheer luck, he has the right blood type and mutation; and he's of sound mind and suitably Aryan stock, which makes him far preferable to both Wolfstein and Kolten. Wolfstein witnesses as the American soldier is strapped down as he once was and given the infusion. After several moments he starts convulsing violently and eventually falls still, not breathing; the SS major who accompanied Dr. C and Himmel to the experiment awkwardly says, "Better luck next time," and departs. Dismayed, Dr. C approaches the soldier, wondering aloud what went wrong, when he suddenly draws a loud breath, startling Dr. C and Himmel. "Subject Doomsday," as he's soon nicknamed--after the name of the medical project, translated from Weltuntergang--does respond positively to the original serum, after his initial frightening experience. He displays impressive gains in strength, intelligence, and resilience, but what strikes Wolfstein the most is the physical and psychological conditioning--or torture--Dr. C puts him through, to make him compliant. He effectively erases most of Doomsday's memory and retrains him to speak only German, and to refer to him as "Doktor-Vater" (Doctor-Father), a behavior he also instilled in Kolten, though not so much in Wolfstein (as Wolfstein prefers to remain silent rather than directly address him). Doomsday is successfully broken down and built back up into the perfect super-soldier which is the final intended result of Projekt Weltuntergang; he remains passive and placid when interacting with Dr. C, but when activated--he's programmed to respond to commands from doctors only--he can quickly and effortlessly subdue any of the soldiers Dr. C orders to try to take him on. Getting a look at Doomsday's empty eyes and knowing exactly what he's capable of, Wolfstein is filled with dread. If Dr. C manages to tweak the serum enough to get it to work with different blood types, there'll be nothing that can withstand an entire army of Nazi super-soldiers. So far, Himmel's piecemeal efforts to sabotage the experiment are the only thing preventing this from happening, and Wolfstein can tell from Himmel's own uneasy looks that this ruse likely won't last for long.

A shred of promising news reaches them, however. The Nazis may have overstepped their bounds by taking an American POW to experiment on. Wolfstein overhears the guards murmuring about a battalion of soldiers recently arrived from the US; initially the Germans think they're seeing ghosts from the Great War, until it becomes clear this is a psychological ruse to give the Allies time to establish their own headquarters and make plans to rescue their captive comrade. The Americans, known as the Trench Rats, ally themselves with the various resistance groups, such as the French Champere's men, the Romani Didrika's men, and the Diamond Network, and at last stage an attack on the Nazis while Subject Doomsday is being transported. Wolfstein learns what happened later. Doomsday is rescued--yet another member of his former unit, which has been subsumed by the Rats, is captured in return. Teal Rat, as he's nicknamed, quickly becomes Dr. C's whipping boy despite his supposedly protected Sonderhäftling (special detainee) status, largely due to the doctor's fury over losing his best test subject. He and Wolfstein never get the chance to directly communicate but Wolfstein witnesses much of the torture and mistreatment he undergoes, and a lot of it is similar to what he himself went through. Dr. C even needlessly tests out the serum on him, which is incredibly painful.

Although Dr. C largely breaks Teal down as he did Doomsday, Wolfstein can tell from his frustration that he never succeeds in getting the Trench Rat to reveal confidential information to him, such as the location of their headquarters. However, the Nazis manage to obtain this information through other means (an American spy for the Waffen-SS, though Wolfstein doesn't know this), and attack Trench Rat Headquarters, killing about a third of their number and taking their sergeant and corporal captive. Wolfstein sees little of Sgt. Camo, as he's given Sonderhäftling status and shortly after moved to a different area; Cpl. Drake, who is Jewish (and apparently also gay, as the star badge he's given is yellow and pink), is granted no such status, and subjected to a lot of the same treatments Wolfstein went through. The two prisoners do see each other in passing but never get to directly interact. Wolfstein hears rumors about some of the treatments Drake receives which even he himself didn't go through, such as a sort of sensory deprivation torture, and psychological manipulation like what Teal went through. He's also subjected to the serum--again, needlessly. By now Dr. C has become so angered over his inability to engineer an updated serum (thanks to his brother-in-law's efforts) that he simply throws every awful torture he can think of at his subjects (Kolten is the lone exception, being protected by his father) while he agonizes over the project possibly losing its funding. Not long after, Wolfstein hears of Camo successfully escaping, an incident which fills Dr. C with rage. Capt. Himmel is considerably less upset by what should be considered a humiliating loss--Wolfstein suspects he himself was involved in the escape.

Despite their devastating losses the Trench Rats rally, gaining a new sergeant and corporal and recruiting new members in addition to strengthening their ties to the resistance groups. While Kolten is being transported, similar to Doomsday, he's captured by the Americans and taken back to their headquarters; something interesting that Wolfstein learns is that Subject Doomsday himself, now rehabilitated and re-nicknamed D-Day, plays a pivotal role in this. Dr. C flies into a fury on hearing of the loss of yet another of his most promising test subjects, and further takes it out on Teal. Wolfstein mostly avoids such treatment, kept almost all the time now in his "honor cell" next to the experiment room; he notices that Himmel's reactions to Kolten's capture are torn. On the one hand he's obviously in grief over the loss, yet on the other, seems slightly relieved that Kolten will no longer be subjected to Dr. C's treatment, and presumably will be treated better by the Americans.

Unfortunately, the Nazis score a major victory in capturing the Trench Rat most highly wanted by the SS, a lance corporal codenamed Silver. Silver, one of Doomsday's and Teal's original unit, has earned the nickname "Der Silbergeist" (feel free to correct me if I'm getting the German wrong, which is quite likely), or the Silver Ghost, due to his habit of sneaking into project headquarters and snapping the necks of any guards he comes across, stealing documents, and departing again leaving nothing but bodies behind. He again breaches HQ but this time the Nazis are alerted to his presence by Teal, who starts screaming his nickname. (For his role in Silver's capture, Teal receives moderately better treatment. The irony is that as soon as Silver saw him--by then Teal was presumed to be dead--he was ready to abort his mission and rescue him, but never got the chance. In other words, Teal betrayed his potential rescuer, and prevented his own rescue.) Silver is brought to the experiment room next to which Wolfstein is housed, and Wolfstein thus witnesses all the horrific treatment he receives--by now Dr. C has given up all pretext of "scientific experimentation," and moved straight into pure torture. He recruits Sgt. Lange, a Nazi especially well known for his brutality, to beat Silver as well as violently sexually assault him; Silver manages to bite and seriously injure Lange's hand, but in return is even more brutally assaulted, beaten unconscious, and left for dead, without giving up any useful information. Wolfstein huddles in his cell with his head in his hands, racked with grief over what he witnessed, when he hears a sound, and is stunned to see Silver move, just slightly--he's still alive. When he shows signs of trying to work one of his restraints loose, Wolfstein takes a chance, and tosses him a shiv he's been working on for his own use. Silver manages to cut one of his wrists free and continues until he's able to push himself up and undo his ankle restraints, slipping down from the table and limping to Wolfstein's cell. Although barely able to move and in a great deal of pain, he starts working at the lock; Wolfstein repeatedly begs him to flee, but he finally gets the cell open, and the two furtively make their way through the building, Wolfstein helping Silver to walk. Their shared knowledge of the security holes in the building allows them to successfully escape, and they manage to work their way out of the city and to the countryside.

In the woods, however, Silver at last loses consciousness and collapses; unsure what to do, Wolfstein stays by him. When he hears the noises of people approaching, he arms himself with all he can find--a tree branch--and stands over Silver to try to protect him. He knows he can almost certainly beat the s**t out of whoever appears, due to the serum, but doesn't want to reveal his status as a successful test subject of Project Doomsday unless absolutely necessary. The people who emerge from the trees aren't Nazis--they're Didrika's men. Didrika is the female Romani leader of a partisan group which aided the Trench Rats following their attack by the Nazis; they maintain a hidden camp deep in the woods. Seeing this older skinny guy armed with only a stick, they jeer at first, until noticing his tattoo and yellow star; then they ask what he's doing out on his own. Realizing they aren't Nazis, Wolfstein pleads for their help, telling them he has an injured Trench Rat in his company. They mock him over that, thinking he's delusional, but then notice what he's standing over, and hurry forward to get a better look. They know who Silver is by his reputation, and quickly bundle him up and transport him to their camp, Wolfstein following. Wolfstein is introduced to Didrika and her second-in-command, Boris; he explains the situation, requesting privacy to tell Didrika alone about the exact extent of what Lange put Silver through. Didrika provides Wolfstein a place to rest, but he refuses to eat until he knows Silver is in good hands. Didrika promises to take good care of Silver and have their own doctor tend to his injuries while her men get in touch with the Trench Rats, and Wolfstein reluctantly takes a few bites.

Shortly after, a small delegation of Trench Rats arrives with their own doctor; by then Silver has regained consciousness though he's still in too rough shape to get around on his own. Didrika introduces them to Wolfstein, and he requests to accompany them so he can be sure Silver is tended to. The Rats are somewhat reluctant to bring an outsider to Headquarters, but upon learning that Wolfstein has potential knowledge of Project Doomsday, being a test subject himself, they agree to bring him along. (Wolfstein withholds the information that he's a SUCCESSFUL test subject.)

Silver and Wolfstein are both brought to the medical ward. The Trench Rats' chief surgeon, Burgundy, gives Wolfstein a checkup, taking his pulse, looking at his eyes and ears, listening to his lungs; despite his years of poor treatment, he's in relatively good health, just somewhat malnourished. He asks Wolfstein to remove his striped shirt so he can further look him over; Wolfstein does so rather hesitantly. Burgundy is struck dumb when he sees the vivisection scar on Wolfstein's breast; "What is this?" he asks, stunned, to which Wolfstein quietly replies, "Science." When Wolfstein puts his shirt back on, Burgundy takes a scalpel and cuts the threads holding the yellow star in place, removing it; he seems perplexed when Wolfstein requests to keep the badge, but gives it to him.

While in their custody Wolfstein assists the Rats on a few occasions, both by providing information and in other ways. He gives them Himmel's name--"the SS officer who whispers when he speaks"--as Himmel is already known to them, though he refrains from revealing Himmel's role in sabotaging Project Doomsday. One of the Rats gets pinned under heavy machinery at one point and Wolfstein briefly hesitates before joining the other Rats in attempting to lift and move it; when they all stare at him afterward, he meekly reveals his role in the project as "Subject Zero." Papers Silver stole mentioned the project's first successful subject, but they'd assumed this was Kolten; it becomes clear Dr. C--whose real name is Dr. Kammler--conflated Wolfstein's and Kolten's results in his reports to try to fudge over the fact that the project's first success was a Jew, the better to convince the SS to continue funding the experiment. This makes three "true" successes that the Rats know of: Wolfstein, Kolten, and D-Day, though only D-Day is considered a true success by the Nazis, as he's sufficiently "Aryan" and not mentally disabled. Burgundy expresses no surprise, but plenty of disgust that Kammler would lie about his own test results to keep his project afloat: "He's nothing but a quack, peddling quack science." When asked why he concealed this fact, Wolfstein expresses shame over having such abilities--given the means by which he obtained them, he wants no part of them, and dislikes the possibility of anyone seeing him as nothing other than a test subject. Burgundy argues that he can subvert the Nazis' intended purpose for him by using those abilities against them, an idea that gives Wolfstein pause; this is exactly what he saw Himmel doing, and he'd had no idea he could do it himself.

Wolfstein requests information on his family--he has no idea if they're dead or alive--and LC Mahogany Rat, who keeps the Trench Rats' records, looks into it. Mahogany gets in touch with a contact he's made in the Abwehr, the Wehrmacht's intelligence service, many of whose members are opposed to the Nazis. The officer recognizes Noah Kirchheimer's name as a member of the Diamond Network, and sets up a meeting at a safe point. Noah and Wolfstein are reunited; shortly after, he's reunited with his sister Johanna. Wolfstein had assumed they'd been captured shortly after he was; they'd assumed he was dead as well. Wolfstein thanks the Rats and decides to assist their efforts by also joining the Diamond Network. When Noah and Johanna urge him to take it easy and recuperate first (he's still quite thin, haggard, and frail looking), he responds by taking hold of the bumper of Noah's big work truck and gradually lifting the corner of the truck up over his head. He explains to the dumbfounded pair that he was a test subject in Projekt Weltuntergang, and was a success. If he can use his abilities to help the Network, then he will.

After the war, Wolfstein participates in the coordinated effort to permanently end Project Doomsday, now repurposed and renamed as Project Ultima Thule, accompanying the others--including other Doomsday subjects D-Day and Kolten--into the mountains to confront the surviving Nazis keeping the project running. Shortly before this, he'd become aware that Himmel--who was tried before an Allied military tribunal and stripped of his rank and honors before being set free--had taken up residence in an abandoned country mansion not far from where Kolten was staying with the elderly couple who'd taken him in at the Trench Rats' request. This couple, the Albrechts--as well as Kolten, and Ratdog, who formerly worked for the Wehrmacht before siding with the Allies--express concern about Himmel's health and state of mind; aside from his daily visits to Kolten, since the war he's seemed to withdraw more and more from the outside world, and is thinner and more sickly looking every time they see him. Wolfstein decides to visit, walking to the house in snowshoes and pulling along a sled of food. He needs to break into the house as the door is barricaded; within he finds the massive parlor cold and dark--despite it being the depths of winter, the roof and several windows of the house damaged, the fireplace is unused and he'd seen no smoke coming from the chimney. He brings the sled to the kitchen and starts getting out the food. Hearing a noise, he looks up to see Himmel peering suspiciously into the room, wielding a stick; he says that he's staying there, hinting that Wolfstein is trespassing. Wolfstein lowers his hood and Himmel recognizes him, lowering the stick though still seeming confused. Wolfstein explains that he's brought food; when Himmel murmurs that he doesn't eat meat, Wolfstein replies that he'll have to bring more fruit and bread next time. They head back into the parlor where Wolfstein starts a fire and they sit on the couch to eat. He surreptitiously looks Himmel over; the former SS officer is very thin, gaunt, and pale in his oversized greatcoat, his eyes glassy, and he has what looks like a neglected injury to his leg so he walks with a distinct limp. Wolfstein can't get any clear answers about why he's in such a state, as Himmel brushes off all his gentle attempts at questioning; realizing he'll likely stop talking entirely if he gets too pushy, Wolfstein backs off, but insists on visiting again with more supplies. Himmel seems reluctant, but doesn't raise a fuss.

Wolfstein returns to the homestead some time later with his sister Johanna. She takes over bringing food and supplies to Himmel, as he seems more willing to talk to her; after some time Wolfstein suspects they've started a tentative relationship. This is confirmed when she doesn't call him or Noah to pick her up one night and instead stays at the house; they arrive the next day, and Noah confronts the two, intimidating Himmel--who shows no inclinations to defend himself--and demanding that Johanna return home. In the truck, however, when Noah mocks Himmel's son, Johanna exits and returns to the house, apologizing to Wolfstein as she goes. Despite Himmel's occasional kindnesses toward him during his captivity--and knowledge from Noah that he and his group were the ones who tended to Himmel after an attempt on his life orchestrated by his own brother-in-law (the reason for Himmel's abrupt absence and the injury to his neck), and then convinced him to sabotage the project from the inside--Wolfstein still doesn't completely trust him, and Noah is especially hostile, insisting, "Once a Nazi, always a Nazi." Although Wolfstein tries to keep a wary but open mind, Noah refuses to accept the relationship, and while Johanna isn't present, he goes to the Albrechts' and starts to argue with Himmel. He attempts to escalate it into a fight, but Kolten intervenes to protect his father; only Himmel's own intervention stops him from killing the other man. Kolten breaks down sobbing and begging not to be returned to the institution he grew up in as Himmel tries to comfort him. The Albrechts insist that Noah leave, and he does. When Wolfstein and Johanna hear about the incident, they're angered--Johanna especially, when Himmel refuses to speak with her again. She cuts off contact and a rift opens in the family. Himmel resists all efforts to communicate, aside from his visits to Kolten; he even rebuffs Noah when he tries to make amends. Noah asks Ratdog to contact Drake Rat, who along with Wolfstein was involved in Project Doomsday, and was liberated by the Trench Rats at the same time that Himmel was captured. (Like the Wolfsteins, Drake is Jewish.) Drake agrees to speak with Himmel.

He afterward visits Wolfstein and Noah with a box of letters. He explains that these were letters Himmel's late wife, Dagmar, left on his pillow before he'd return to the military base every day, and letters Himmel himself had written to her after her death and during the war, to try to keep himself sane despite his crushing depression and loneliness. The letters make two things clear: The first is that Himmel's interactions with Noah and the Wolfsteins mirrored what had happened when he and Dagmar were courting and her brother, Dr. Kammler, disapproved of the union so much that he tried to pick a fight with Himmel (Dagmar saw Himmel hit her brother; only a deli owner who witnessed Kammler throw the first punch proved his account of Himmel attacking him first to be a lie). Kammler blamed Himmel for Dagmar's death in childbirth as well. Himmel had already been prone to dark moods (he'd been contemplating suicide when his first meeting with Dagmar interrupted this), trying to warn Dagmar against getting involved with him in the first place as he'd felt almost like he was cursed; these events, followed by doctors diagnosing Kolten as "stupid" and forcing Himmel to relinquish custody of him to an institution, just confirmed his thoughts, and when history seemed to repeat itself with Johanna, he decided it was best to isolate. Only the thought of Kolten being left on his own kept him alive, though he'd been having second thoughts about even that, suspecting he might be better off without him. The second thing is that Himmel never actually believed in the ideals of the SS; he joined just as the Nazis were starting to target the mentally disabled for execution, in the hopes that membership in the organization would protect his son--surely they wouldn't target family of their members. This turned out to be incorrect, though Himmel's employer, Maj. Jäger, did "overlook" the fact that Himmel had a disabled son while evaluating his application. Kammler attempting to murder him to gain custody of Kolten for his experiment just strengthened his resolve; with advice from the Diamond Network, whose members happened to find him and save his life, he sabotaged the project in the hopes of discrediting it and Kammler in the eyes of the SS. Ironically, both Noah and Wolfstein had helped him with this. When Himmel was captured by the Trench Rats, all he'd requested in exchange for telling them everything he knew about the project was to visit his son one more time. All his actions since his wife's death had been to protect his son, at any cost. Now that Kolten is safe, he'd had little left to live for and was willing to just slowly starve or freeze to death in the old house, though his relationship with Johanna had sparked something.

Noah returns the letters to Himmel, who at last cautiously allows him inside. Noah--and Wolfstein--don't understand the SS, but they understand the drive to protect family. Wolfstein allows Noah to do this on his own to make amends, then he and Johanna visit. He can tell by the way the two embrace that while Himmel might not be in love with her--that feeling is for his deceased wife only--he does love her, and by now it's obvious he has no desire to harm anyone. Johanna's kindness toward Kolten is the thing that drew Himmel to her the most; Noah apologizes to Kolten as well, and seems surprised when Himmel forgives him, though Wolfstein understands it perfectly. He contacts the others who've remained in Germany--former Diamond Network members, former Heer, Trench Rats--and they draw up plans to fix the deteriorating mansion Himmel's been living in. They show up en masse in early spring when the snow has finally begun to melt and drip through the roof; Himmel is confused by their arrival, and protests when they make their intentions clear, but they refuse to take no for an answer. Even Kolten comes over from the Albrechts' house to help. Under Wolfstein's guidance the house is made habitable again, Sgt. Gold Rat even bringing in the books Himmel had collected while he had an office in the SS (after his trial Himmel had declined to take any personal belongings but his box of letters and a single book Johanna had given him, Frankenstein, while he was recovering from his slashed throat, and Gold had ordered the rest put in storage) and putting them on the shelves. Kolten's belongings are also brought over from the Albrechts' and a special room set up for him like at his original residence, for him to work on his building-block structures and drawings. By the time summer arrives, most of the work is done, and Himmel and Kolten and the Wolfsteins spend their evenings on the veranda enjoying the warmth after so many months of cold, a time of ease after so many years of struggle.

Wolfstein never takes a partner or starts a family, but he does take vicarious pleasure in Himmel's and Johanna's interactions with Kolten and the numerous children they adopt afterward. It's odd, but he and the former SS captain become good friends.

[Jakob Wolfstein 2022 [‎Friday, ‎September ‎2, ‎2022, ‏‎3:00:10 AM]]

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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[venusiangguk]

gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !! 

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants. 

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study 

me:

yeah but im not gonna 

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a 

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I-  am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing. 

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about. 

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile. 

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself. 

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side. 

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm. 

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.” 

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts. 

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar. 

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night. 

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?” 

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.” 

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found. 

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists. 

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going. 

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.  

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later. 

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.” 

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace. 

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…” 

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad. 

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?” 

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all. 

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs. 

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls. 

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over. 

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene. 

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand. 

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?” 

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-” 

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.” 

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd. 

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it. 

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether. 

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you. 

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed. 

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up. 

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone. 

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken. 

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.” 

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair. 

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock. 

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.” 

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room. 

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum. 

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.” 

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow. 

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly. 

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both. 

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is.  But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :* 

[differentkettleoffishalltogether]

#1 Fan [Part 1/2]

Summary: Spencer knows he’s seen his new neighbor somewhere before.

A/N: This was a blurb request from my sideblog that got completely out of hand so here she is as a full fic! (We’re gonna pretend like I know how OnlyFans works)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff & Smut 

Warnings/Includes: smut, graphic descriptions of sexual acts, masturbation (male & female), voyeurism(?), please let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed!

Word count: 2.9k

Request: “Blurb about basically the same fic as the other one except she just moved in and he recognizes her as the person he subs to on OF. She’s describing her hot neighbor- and yeah” from @thatsonezesty13​

Masterlist

Read Part 2 Here

The first time Spencer sees her in the lobby grabbing her mail he thinks he’s in a dream. Or maybe he’s seeing things. For a second he’s terrified that he’s having a hyper-realistic, yet somehow mundane, wet dream.

He’s been subscribed to her for a while. To be honest once he’d found her account he didn’t have much of a need to subscribe to anyone else. She was almost tailor made for him, it was sort of scary.

So when he saw her that day, and she smiled at him, giving him a small wave as she passed him in the hall, his heart all but stopped.

That night he checked her page. He compared the pictures of the sweet girl in the hall with the ones in front of him. The photos where she was wearing next to nothing, or sometimes nothing at all. The ones where she had her fingers inside of her panties, or her mouth.

He ended up spiraling that evening, partially forgetting why he was even looking in the first place. Until he was watching videos of her, fucking into herself with a toy until she was squirting onto her bedsheets.

The following morning when he woke up he tried to convince himself that it wasn’t her. How could it be? And if it was, would he have to stop looking? Something felt a bit perverted about that.

So he pushed the thoughts from his head. And that lasted all of 10 seconds because there was a knock on his front door. When he opened it up it was her standing there, the girl from the mailboxes, and the girl from the videos. He knew they were one and the same, who was he kidding?

“Hi!” She sticks out her hand to introduce herself, “I think I saw you the other day, I’ve just moved into the building, Y/N.”

He knows her name already, well he knows her first name, and part of him’s a little surprised it’s not fake.

He takes a moment to consider her hand, he wouldn’t usually shake a strangers hand like this but for some reason he didn’t feel like she was a stranger. The real reason her didn’t want to shake her hand was because of all the things he’d pictured her doing with them. Touching herself, touching him.

But he’s hesitated for too long, so he takes her hand, shaking it gently, “Spencer, Dr. Spencer Reid. Nice to— uh, meet you” he has to force his breaths out or they might not come. Looking at her up close, in person, she was too beautiful. And he already thought that about her pictures.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, I always like to know the folks in my building. And especially you if we’re gonna be neighbors”

“Neighbors?” He tries to stop his eyes from popping out of his head but she doesn’t seem to notice. She just nods happily.

“Yup, I’m right on the other side of that wall” she points to her right and giggles, “knock if you need me” she jokes but Spencer’s breathing stops entirely and he can only nod.

“So um, if you wanted to hang out or anything you know where to find me” she smiles at him and starts to head back to her apartment.

He’s not sure what’s come over him, but it feels like adrenaline is coursing through his entire body as he speaks.

“I’m free right now if you’re not busy?” He asks before she can get too far away but she shakes her head.

“I’ve actually gotta head out for a bit but if you’re free tomorrow do you wanna come over and see my place. I’m sure it’s probably the exact same as yours but—”

“Yes!— I mean, um, yeah, that sounds nice, cool” she laughs at him a little, probably at his eagerness, or maybe at the way he’s blushing, he can feel the heat radiating from his cheeks.

“See you then Spencer, Dr. Spencer Reid” she giggles and he’s smitten already.

— —

He’s pretty much counting down the seconds until the following evening. His mind is completely restless, he’s got no idea what to wear or how to act, or what to say.

She was just so pretty, he could barely have a 2 minute conversation with her in the hallway. How was he supposed to hang out with her for an evening.

She slips a note under his door the following afternoon:

I’m on my way out but I should be back around 8! See you then x

He wishes he didn’t stare at the little ‘x’ on the note for quite so long but he couldn’t help it. Even her handwriting was cute.

He doesn’t want to think about why he knows her already but he can’t help it. He decides that he’s not going to look at her page again, taking a cold shower as part of his preparation for that evening before agonizing over what to wear.

He settles on a purple sweater and he already feels like he’s made the wrong call somehow as he’s knocking on her door at 8pm on the dot.

“Well aren’t you punctual” she smiles at him as she pulls open the door. His stomach drops when he realizes that he recognizes the little dress she’s wearing. He’s seen her take it off before. He tries to steady his breathing but it doesn’t work super well so he just waves hello as she ushers him inside.

“I guess you got my note then” she smiles and he smiles back.

“Yeah, your— um— handwriting is really nice” he wants to slap himself in the face. What kind of complement was that?

“Thank you?” she giggles at him, “no ones ever said that before, you’re a bit of an oddball” she points him to the sofa so he sits.

When she comes to sit next to him she’s holding a bottle of wine and two glasses and he has to stop his eyes from bulging out of his head.

“Would you like a glass?” She asks and he nods his head, it probably wasn’t a great idea, but neither was any of this. She hands him a glass of wine and takes the seat next to him on the couch, turning to face him as she tucks her legs up under herself.

“So Spencer Reid, what kind of doctor are you?” she asks as she takes a sip from her own glass.

“I’m—um— I work at the FBI actually, I— I’m a profiler” he’s already conscious that he doesn’t want to bore her by harping on about work, or by rambling like he does right before people usually roll their eyes. But she doesn’t, she leans in.

“That’s so cool, well it sounds like it is anyway? Does that mean you read people or something?” her eyes look like they're after lighting up and she's smiling at him encouraging.

“Y-Yeah? It’s sort of like reading people I guess. We catch killers by getting inside their heads in a way, trying to figure out why they’re doing what they’re doing, and hopefully what they’re gonna do next so that we can stop it. It’s a little more complicated than that, but that’s the gist” he’s smiling now too, the way she’s looking at him makes him feel like he’s actually doing a sort of good job not embarrassing himself.

“So you said my handwriting was nice” she says, gears clearly turning, “Can you read anything about me from that?” she looks like she's challenging him, if he didn’t know better he might call it flirting.

“Well actually graphology—sorry— handwriting analysis has been deemed a pseudoscience by most, the validity of handwriting as evidence in court has always been dubious and many of the techniques used today are the same as those employed in Renaissance England.” he rambles but she’s still engaged when he stops speaking.

“So you’re smart smart, huh?” she smiles at him, and he nods.

“I don’t believe intelligence can be neatly quantified but I do have an IQ of 187” he feels paradoxically stupid saying that, it feels like bragging or something and he already wants to take it back.

“Wow, a doctor with an IQ of 187” she takes a second to mull it over, “What are you doing hanging out with the likes of me?” she jokes, but his eyebrows knit together, he had no idea what she did, other than that thing he knew she did.

“I wouldn't sell yourself short like that, what do you do?” he asks her, at the very least it’ll stop him from spiraling.

“I work in a vintage bookstore, the one two blocks over?” She motions behind her as she tells him, and he knows it well, in fact he spends so much time there that he’s shocked he’d never seen her before.

“You work there? I’m there all the time, how have I never noticed you before?” she chuckles at him.

“I’ve only just started, I just moved in, remember?” and he wants to slap himself again, something about being around such a pretty face slashed that impressive IQ in half.

They spend another while and the rest of the bottle of wine getting to know each other before Spencer has to call it a night. Part of him wished that she was boring, or rude, or hated him, then maybe he’d be able to quell his infatuation. But this just made it worse, now that he knew her, now that he had spoken to her and she was so sweet, so smart, so funny, and still so damn pretty. He was absolutely fucked.

— —

He swears to himself that the wont look at her page again. Now that he knew her and he liked her more than he even did before, it felt like a real invasion. Part of him still felt bad about it in general, like he should've told her right away, been up front. But the moment for that had already passed so this was his next best plan.

Until he returns home the following Friday. He’s exhausted when he crawls into bed but he’s still somehow restless, the gears still turning in is brain. So he does what he always does when he wants to forget about everything else in the world.

His muscle memory opens it up, and he’s on her page before he even realizes he's done it. And she’s posted a few new videos this week. He wishes he had better willpower, or any willpower at all, but he can’t seem to stop himself from clicking on one.

It begins with her kneeling on her bed, wearing lingerie he’d seen before, it was baby pink and it was one of his favorites. She starts by dipping her fingers into her panties, teasing herself as little moans toppled from her lips. Then she started talking.

“I’m gonna tell you guys about a little dream I had last night, well, I’ve been having it all week really” she continues to tease herself a little, her other hand coming up to grab her breast over her soft pink bra as she speaks. Her voice is smooth and perfect, if he only had the audio he’d still be turned on right now.

“It goes like this. I’m lying in this bed right here, doing something a little like this, when there’s a knock at my front door. When I get up to answer it he’s there, with his shaggy brown hair, and his huge doe eyes, and he’s got these lips that are just so fuckin’ pink. I want them all over me. He comes inside and he grabs me with those huge hands of his and he pulls me right into him before he kisses me.” she moans a little as her fingers brush right up against her clit, but Spencer’s vision has almost gone blurry.

He’s not sure he’s even breathing when she starts talking again. “Then I lead him to my bedroom, and I get him out of those clothes. He dresses like an english teacher and I wish I didn’t find it so fuckin’ hot. Sometimes in the fantasy I take his cock in my mouth, I suck him off until he’s whimpering. Other times I can’t wait, I just need him to fuck me right away.” she takes off her panties then, leaving them to one side, while she grabs a toy from her bedside table.

“I like to fuck myself with this, but all week I’ve just been imagining that it’s him. He’s just so pretty, I know his cock has to be too. I want to know what it feels like when he’s buried inside me, so fuckin’ deep” she continues to fuck herself with the toy, and he’s tuned back in now, he’s achingly hard without even noticing, his hand wrapping around his cock as he pictures the other side of that fantasy.

It doesn’t take long before he's releasing, spilling all over his hand in tandem with the video. She takes a moment to relax, steadying out her breathing before she speaks to the camera again.

“I think I have a crush guys” she gasps out, “I moved, and I think I’ve got a crush on my fuckin’ neighbor already”

Not that he needed any more confirmation, but those words hit him like a fucking train.

It’s already midnight, it’s not so late that he couldn’t go over there, but it sort of is late enough that he shouldn’t. He really can’t bring himself to care though, getting out of bed and cleaning himself up he decides to ride this uncharacteristically confident wave as far as it’ll take him.

He’s knocking on her door before he’s had a chance to second guess himself. When she answers she’s in a little robe, it’s ivory and satin, and he recognizes it too. He doesn’t say anything, neither does she. They just look at each other for a little too long, eyes taking each other in. He wants to lean in and kiss her, just like in her fantasy, but he’s not that guy.

“Hi” he breathes out instead, “I know it’s late, sorry, I shouldn’t be here—but I— I just wanna say” he pauses to take in a labored breath, “I like you a lot and I think you’re really pretty and funny and smart and would you wanna go out sometime? With me? Maybe?” he doesn't realize he’s closed this eyes until he’s got to pry them back open.

“Well that’s not how the fantasy was supposed to go” she giggles, her eyelashes fluttering as she looks up at him and the blush that’s steadily spreading up his face and neck.

“What do you— I don’t— what?” he’s stammering, doing a god awful job of playing dumb.

“In my video, you were just supposed to kiss me. This isn’t as sexy but it is a hell of a lot better”

“I don’t— I’m not—” he can’t get a sentence out, he’s got no idea what’s happening right now.

“It’s alright Dr. 187, I know it’s you” some part of him genuinely wants to throw up. Why did he think that would be an innocuous username. He was the stupidest genius alive.

“I’m sorry, I should've told you. I had no idea how, I just never thought— how could I have known you’d move in next door to me? And that you’d be even prettier in person but you’d be so cool too” he’s got to cut himself off before he really starts apologetically rambling.

“Spencer stop. It’s fine. I make that content for people to enjoy, you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about. I made that video because I wanted you to see it, that was intentional.” she reaches out and places a hand on his shoulder, and it’s more comforting than it has any right to be.

“Was that—your fantasy—the uh the video—were you telling the truth?” he can feel his heart absolutely racing in his chest as he waits for the answer. And she breaks out in a huge smile, nodding up at him.

“Every word.” he doesn’t let himself overthink it this time, he just leans right in, pressing his lips to hers. It’s soft and gentle, a sweet kiss rather than a heated one, it’s not just infatuation, there are feelings behind it now. He can feel her lips smiling against his own and his heart’s fit to burst now.

When they break apart she looks giddy with excitement, her hands come down to the little bow that holds her robe closed, toying with the ends of the tie. “I’m actually about to make a video now if you’d like to see behind the scenes?” she asks and his breath gets stuck in his throat.

“Fuck” he rasps, “You’ve got no idea how much I want to do that” he pauses, scolding himself in his head already, “But I think I wanna take you to dinner first, if you still want that?”

She’s grinning at him again, “I still really want that, tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night.”

-- --

Comments, reblogs, and tags are always appreciated, I love you all x

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[marshmellowmin]

Reluctant Love | Mafia!Jaemin AU pt. 1

This is a collaboration between myself @marshmellowmin and @specsforwoo. Please support us as we continue to release content related to the overall theme that can be found on either of our blogs. Thank You!

CW: gun violence, death scenes, light use of swear words-please dni if any of these might be triggering to you!!

*this is a complete rewrite and repost

The light from your computer burned your eyes as the clock turned twelve, signalling that you had been stuck at your desk for well over twelve hours now. One more paragraph, you told yourself. You had been telling yourself the same thing for the last four hours at least and this time, you meant it. You were on the last paragraph of the second to last chapter of your new book and you decided this was a good stopping point for the night. You could edit what you had written in the morning and finish with some daylight still left-hopefully. You sat up and stretched, your eyes slightly watering from your lack of blinking in the last hour or so. Your body ached but you ignored it, making a mental note to take more breaks tomorrow when editing so your spine won’t hold a grudge against you again. Walking out of your home office you headed to the kitchen to take a melatonin and make some warm tea before retiring for the night. Your apartment wasn’t small but it wasn’t grand either-perfect for you and your cat Boob that you’ve had since childhood. Your tea kettle whistled angrily and you poured your tea, taking a sip way too soon and burning your tongue in the process. I have got to stop doing that, you think as you turn off your apartment lights and retire to your bedroom.

“Boob!” You called out into the dark and empty apartment, hearing the bell of Boobs collar and tiny footsteps running your way. Boob ran into your bedroom and you closed the door and settled into your bed with Boob at your feet. You grabbed the remote to your lights, your favorite and most useful investment by far, and turned out your lights. The last thing you remember hearing is the sound of sirens in the streets below.

The next day and the days following were largely uneventful; finishing the first draft of a new novel being the highlight of your week it seemed. Friday morning however, your phone rang with the contact name for your manager popping up on the screen.

“Hello?” You answered, curiosity and caution in your voice. This call could be the one that tells you how much of your novel needs rewriting, or if publishers will even publish it at all. You always erred on the side of caution but you couldn’t help but hope for good news anyways.

“Y/N! Great news honey-you’re getting a book signing event! Isn’t this great? It’d be your first one in Korea and your gateway to winning the Korean public's hearts.” Your manager rambled, it was their specialty. They never knew when to take a break and let you speak. It was a part of their charm, you guessed.

“Uh yeah it’s great. Um, when is it?” You asked, running your free hand through your messy and unkempt hair. A light rush of panic ran through your body as your manager replied with “Monday at noon,” meaning you had the weekend to become presentable as a well known and respectable author. You made mental notes to schedule a hair appointment as soon as possible and get your nails done and refresh your entire image to basically look like you haven’t just holed up in your home for three weeks straight. Your phone call with your manager ended and you immediately called your favorite salon to check for any openings this weekend at all. You managed to slip in on Sunday at 2:00pm thanks to a cancellation and you called the nail salon next, scheduling an appointment for noon Saturday. I guess it’s a self care kind of weekend, you thought as you dressed yourself in brown plaid wide leg slacks and a white turtleneck and put a beret on, a perfect outfit for the chilly October weather. Finishing the look with some Mary-janes and a light coat, you went shopping.

As with any shopping trip, your first stop was coffee. Nothing could get done without an iced latte in your hands-but today the universe seemed to be testing you as your favorite coffee shop was closed due to internal renovations. Heading about a block out of your way, you found a new coffee shop that was much quieter than the one you frequented. It had concrete and steel architecture with oak wood accents. Much of the building was either gray or black, the chairs and tables matching the oak wood decor and the low hanging lights setting a dark mood in the shop. It was cute, but far from your usual coffee shop that was painted white and had a turf patio with cute little bumblebee chairs and bees painted on the walls.

You would be the only customer, if not for the man who aggressively cut you off and walked in before you. Impatient much? You thought as you walked in and waited behind the rude man to order. You weren’t much of an eavesdropper usually, but you heard the man order a ‘namericano’ and you couldn’t help but be intrigued. Did he just mispronounce “Americano'' or did he mean to say that? You were curious but you weren’t about to let it get the best of you. You ordered your latte and would’ve been on your way if not for the rude man with the black trenchcoat and black boots that quite literally knocked you into the wall as he was walking out. He did nothing but sip his coffee, which pissed you off to no end. Fucking blind bitch, you thought as you shook yourself off, grabbing your coffee from the pickup counter and leaving the building. That’s the last time I come here.

Monday came hurtling through the weekend and soon enough you were sat behind a foldable table covered in a red tablecloth and piles of copies of your novel Through the Red Falls, your most popular release to date, as well as your only release. You were only 22, having one famous novel under your belt was impressive enough at your age.

Something felt off to you. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, the bookstore hosting you was large and well known and the event had an adequate amount of security. The line began at the door and was long-from what you could see anyways. You couldn’t figure out what was off​, so you ignored it and went on with the signing event. By about halfway through you felt like screaming. So many fake smiles, so many difficult people. “Make it out to my mom! Can I get three copies? I need your signature to look perfect so go slowly.” If you heard another person complain and make a ridiculous demand, you probably would scream. Eventually though, lunch break came and you got an hour break from everything.

“God I can’t stand people sometimes. So demanding to a person they don’t even know. Wish I could just speak my mind sometimes,” You said to no one in particular, but your manager was the one who responded.

“Speak your mind and I’m dropping you.” They spoke harshly but you knew they were mostly kidding. They never looked up from their food and all you could do was let out a little chuckle and go back to eating in silence. Everything resumed without a hitch-though your wrist kind of ached from signing books all day. Then, three strange figures walked in. You immediately took notice of their presence, feeling a little off about them but you carried on as usual. Your gut wasn’t telling you to run quite yet so you went along signing books and greeting fans. Soon enough two more figures entered. They seemed different from the other three but still felt off. At this point your gut feeling was getting worse-the feeling of running was setting in and fear was rising in you. The three figures were in all black with baseball caps and black masks on, making it extremely hard to see them. You could see the other two figures easier, one was wearing a white t-shirt and a black jean jacket with skinny jeans and the other was wearing a familiar looking black trench coat and jeans as well. Neither had a hat on but they both had dark colored hair that was long enough to cover their foreheads and shield their eyes.

Ignoring your gut feeling was difficult as the three figures donned in black approached your table. The two other figures were behind them in line and could hear some of their conversations as they moved up the line.

“Dude I think they’re here for her,” the shorter of the two stated. You didn’t hear the tall ones response as the group of three had finally made it to your station. You managed to fake a smile and ask “Shall I make it out to anyone?” The tallest one of the three responded.

“Yeah, make it out to Y/D/N.” He spoke with a sense of arrogance about him and you froze. How do they know my dad-wait, they can't be-

Before you even finished your thought you could hear the other two figures shouting to the innocent crowd to leave or be shot. The tallest one remained in front of you, locked onto your every move while he held a gun to your head, the barrel positioned right in between your eyes just above the eyebrows. A straight shot to the head that would kill you instantly. You didn’t dare to breathe too hard in case that would set him off. You heard the taller of the two other figures shout in the distance.

“The fuck would they want with a Y/A author?”

Suddenly shots were fired. You couldn’t see where they were coming from or who was shooting, but the tall man holding you at gunpoint turned to check it out and you took your chance. Grabbing the hand with gun by the wrist, you headbutted the man with all the force your smaller figure would allow and took the gun and ran. Your manager was long gone, they must’ve hid during the initial siege and you dared not think the worst. These people knew your dad, which meant they were probably from the Chinese mafia-you had to get out of there before anyone got hurt unnecessarily. You escaped the bookstore through the back and ran as fast as you could down the alley. You needed to put as much distance between you and your Chinese attackers as possible. You were about to turn a corner when you ran straight into someone. So much for distance, you thought as you backed away from the person who had previously blocked your way. Luckily for you, it wasn’t the Chinese mafia members from earlier, but the two other strange figures. The ones behind the Chinese members in line. Particularly the taller one with the black trench coat.

“Watch where you’re going-you never know who’s gonna be around the corners here,” The trench coat snarled, making you roll your eyes and turn away from him-only to find his shorter accomplice.

“Ignore him, he’s sort of like an unrestrained guard dog. You can treat him like such too, just don’t try to pet him. He bites,” He spoke with a humorous tone that was unfit for the circumstance at hand. The taller one scoffed in disagreement behind you but said nothing.

“Sure, anyways, it was nice meeting you both but I really do have to go-” you attempted to run but you were immediately glued to your place by a new voice speaking up from the direction of the bookstore.

“Running off before giving your father’s debtors a proper welcome? That’s very bad manners my dear. I’m afraid we’ll have to punish you for that,” the only girl in the group of Chinese mafia members spoke to you directly, her tone being playful and downright sadistic. It made your blood run cold. You heard the two men behind you questioning your enemy’s choice of words, but there wasn’t a single thought in your head besides running far, far, away. Your grip on your stolen gun tightened and you raised it to aim at the girl in front of you.

“Oh darling, you’ll have to do better than that shaky gun stance. I could knock you down in no time at all-not to mention you’re wide open,” The woman spoke, taking her own gun out and pointing it at you. Before you knew it though, she was shot in the rib from somewhere to your left. Looking over you found the two men from earlier, the shorter one holding a gun fitted with a silencer.

“What the fuck,” you breathed, lowering your gun slightly, “was that for?” You finished your sentence just as someone came up behind you. Hearing their footsteps you turned just to confirm they were the Chinese mafia-which they were-and shot them. You couldn’t see where the bullet landed but it definitely hit your target. You turned back to the boys to see them both standing with a partially stunned expression on their faces.

“What the fuck was that?” The short one spoke, though his words were cut short as the last Chinese mafia member approached. The tall man who previously held you at gunpoint didn’t even get to speak before he had a knife in his neck. You and the shorter man looked towards the taller man, who had just thrown the knife. Where he had gotten it, you had no idea. All you cared about was the people who were after you today were dead. Though you knew that if they were sent here, they’d for sure send more.

“Dude you’re the one who was like ‘let’s not kill anyone today we need someone alive.’ DOES THIS LOOK LIKE ALIVE TO YOU?” the shorter one scolded the man with the knives as he went to retrieve his knife from the neck of the man he just killed.

“Well the other two were already dead. And besides-I can’t let you show me up,” the taller one spoke casually as he drew a handkerchief from his pocket and began cleaning his blade.

“Lot of questions. One: who the fuck are you two? Two: how the fuck did you know this was going to happen? Three: the fuck do you mean ‘need someone alive’?” You spoke in rapid fire, retiring your stolen gun from it’s position in the air to your waistband, deciding you were definitely going to need it still.

“To answer your first question, I’m Renjun and the asshole is Jaemin. We can’t exactly disclose the kind of information needed to answer your other questions. All we can say is you need to come with us.”

[polizwrites]

WIP Update - 21 Sep 2022

A somewhat productive week  - I touched 5 fics (2 WIPs & 3 new works) for a total of  1922 words.  

I posted a Clint & Tony one shot (previously shared on Tumblr) for a TSB square, contributed to a Round Robin during the BBB Discord party and posted a fill for last week’s  @flashfictionfridayofficial that also  filled SRB and MWAPB squares. 

I’m up to 14 active WIPs  (with a couple of maybe TBCs)  with my current   deadlines being  the Stuckony Summer Stockings and @suck-tember.

See below cut for the WIPs  (arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc) I am working on  -   feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects   (or any other WIPs I’ve got out there) – they really help feed the Muse and keep me motivated!

Stuckony Summer Stockings [due 25 Sep]

This fun gift event (run by the  @stb-bingo mods) lets you share prompts for others to fill.  There’s an initial anonymous reveal on October 1st, then the creator names will be revealed on the 8th. Prompt submission is closed, but if you have a hankering to write something Stucky|Stony|WinterIron|Stuckony-oriented as a gift, check out the list of prompts!  (and yes, I have a couple of prompts in there…)

I wrote a quickie Stuckony smutfic (Sexy Shield-nanigans) that is coming in at 583 words - I may tweak it a bit before I post.  

I also wrote a  domestic fluff WinterIron kidfic with potential Stuckony (Color Our World)  that has been posted to the event - it came in at 1374 words.  

Suck-tember [ Runs thru 30 Sep]

As you might guess from the name,  @suck-tember  is a writing event focused on oral gratification.   I read through the list of prompts and decided to try to combine a few with my bingo squares.  I’ve posted 1 so far  (Day 2: Swollen) and would like to try for 1 or 2 more - maybe the alternate dialog prompts? Here they are if anyone would like to throw me a pairing/plot bunny:

A. “How does it taste?” B. “Have you done this before?” C. “What are you waiting for?” D. “Take a deep breath.” E. “You look so pretty like this.” F. “Open wide.”

Reforged - A WinterIron Zine [Deadline 12 Nov]

I got accepted to submit a  1k-3.5k fic for this project, and have submitted a basic idea & completed my first checkin.    Am poking at it little by little; it’s sitting at  2531 words - so over two-thirds done word-wise.   Plot wise? That’s still TBD…  I have very broad strokes in mind that are going to be tricky to get done in the words I have left…   :: eek::  Got some good feedback from the @reforgedzine   mods that I need to respond to - much appreciated!  

Avengers Bingo [AvB] (Runs thru 24 Dec)

Seven fills posted and 0 WIPs - I decided to further challenge myself on this 16-square card by pairing up each square with a unique combo of 2 original MCU Avengers, with the final square being PolyVengers. With the help of the STB Enthusiasts Discord folks - I’ve got all 16 squares  planned out, at least in terms of who to write about, and half of them have some sort of idea or crossover square to go along with them. Feel free to toss other plot  bunnies my way…  

* A3 - Reunited  -  posted  Making a Different Call  - an Endgame-compliant Natasha POV retelling of reuniting with Clint.  It  came in at  364 words.

* B1 - Death - thanks to last week’s  Flash Fiction Friday prompt  [#FFF168 Sleepless Nights],  I put together Moments Where the Words Don’t Reach  - a short Steve POV  piece set post  A:IW that also combines my SRB Bruce Banner and MWAPB Crying squares.  It came in at 544 words and will be posted to Ao3 sometime in the next week or two.  

* B3 - Road Trip  -  Bruce & Thor  - Post Grandmaster, pre-Thanos  space shenanigans

* B4 - Age Gap   - Thor/Tony - possible crossover with TSB One Night Stand  (obvious title: Thunderstruck)

* C1 - Opposites Attract - Clint/Thor  - there was a fun Tumblr  headcanon going around about a Bumbling Foreigner whose ignorance of  local customs  results in him flirting with/proposing to the prince -  this seems like a perfect matchup!  

* C3 - Reincarnation AU  -  Natasha & Tony  - post-Endgame.  

* D1 - Friends w/ Benefits  - Clint/Steve - crossover with MWAPB Hawkeye/Clint Barton and possibly SRB - Never Have I Ever

* D2 - Romeo & Juliet AU  -  basic idea:  Steve (jock) & Tony  (geek) trying out for title roles in R&J - despite their respective  FWB groups thinking it’s a terrible idea.  Title:  Two Polycules, Alike in Dignity

*  D3 - Bed Sharing  -  Bruce/Natasha - AoU compliant.

Man With a Plan (Steve Rogers) Bingo [MWAPB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)

Ten fills, 0 WIPs and several Vague Ideas/potential cross fills with other bingos.  Prompts cheerfully accepted!  

* B3 - Farmer’s Market  - now looking at a crossover with TSB Doing Groceries. Moodboard + ficlet?

* B4 - Powerless AU  - if Sunqueen and I decide to continue   Wrong Number, Right Call ,  this would be a good fit.  

* I1 - Steve is here for TFAtWS  - this might go well with my BBB  “Oh, hell no"  square - Steve trolling  Bucky & Sam by sending the old man in with his shield?  (moodboard & ficlet?)

* I5 - Dogsitting - possible crossover with  BBB “Run”  square - Steve & Bucky dogsitting for Lucky?  (moodboard + ficlet)

* N1 - School AU/Teacher AU  - if I decide to continue on with Technicalities   - I could fill this square  :: ponders::

* N3 - Online shopping - this might be fun as a crossover with BBB Thighs  Sam buys a revealing swimsuit for Bucky as a gag that gets Steve in a tizzy.

* N4 - Soulmates -  got inspired by a dream to start a Stucky fantasy AU (magician!Steve/ensorcelled!Bucky) that @bill-longbow  is collaborating on with me.  This will also fill my Stucky Bingo AU: Supernatural square.  We’re currently sitting at 1640 words  (984-ish of which are mine). Current Last Line:  "My men will accompany you back to Brookline in the morning.”

* G4 - Canon Divergence post CA:TWS - possible  crossover with BBB  Kill List – Bucky wreaking havoc on Hydra bases and  Steve & Sam catch up with him

* G5 - Friends to Lovers -  might use this for Chapter 3 of Mutual Pinning

* O1 - Crying - see AvB Death square above

*  O2 - Sex Pollen  -  Teenage Groot pollen =  aphrodisiac  hi-jinks. Quill & Gamora  warn the  couple (stucky)/throuple (Stuckony)  ahead of time, so no  dub-con.

* O3 - Hawkeye/Clint Barton  -  see AvB - Friends w/ Benefits  above.

StarkBucks Bingo - Round 3  (SBB_R3) - Ends 31 Dec

5 fills, 1 WIPs and several Vague Ideas - soliciting plot bunnies or other kick-starters.

* B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.“  - Possible crossover with  BBB - KINK: Seduction Mission?  

* B3 - AU: Canon Divergence - probable crossover with TSB Endgame FixIt  

* I2 - Mistaken Identity - crossover with TSB K5 - Protectiveness -  “The Mechanic, The Soldier & The Artist” - mob/assassin AU with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith twist?  

* I4 - Canon: Avengers Academy  - will probably do Stuffed Marvels sketches of Tony and Winter, as I know very little about the game/canon.  

* I5 - Matchmaker Bots - possible crossover with TSB Occupational Hazard

* N2 - Blanket - Thanks to the July BBB Discord party , I have an idea for combining this with my TSB   AU: College square and BBB Funeral square.

* G3 - “This might as well happen.” Going to see if I can squish this into a Stucky –> Stuckony spur-of-the-moment threesome fic inspired by a series of posts with @needyoucap over on the STB Enthusiasts Discord server that in turn led to their WIP  Steve & Bucky’s Sexy Bucket List.  My version (alternating POV)  is sitting at  1049 words and will also fill my TSB square  Hindsight.  

* O1 - Royalty - crossover with TSB - IronWidow  &  BBB   AU: Arranged Marriage -  pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion  back up?

* O6 - AU: Biker  - Grease 2  fusion  anyone?  😁  I watched the movie a couple of weeks ago and took notes -  It’s not gonna be a faithful adaptation, but hopefully fun - tho am having a tough time deciding who is Michael (probably Bucky, tho a case could be made for Tony)

Hero Hardships Bingo  [HHB]  (Runs thru 31 Dec)

One fill so far  with a few Vague Ideas …

* I3 - Unimaginable Grief  – I‘m thinking an post-Endgame Rhodey POV would work nicely here…

* N5 - Forgetting who you are because of who you’re expected to be - This fit quite nicely with Chapter 5 (Tony POV) of Flawed Hypothesis, which posted last Friday.  Chapter 6 (Steve POV) is  in progress at  around 984 words.   Current Last Line:  “Steve, Bucky – I can’t be your omega.

* O3 - Dating a civilian -  this would fit perfectly with another chapter of Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’) , for which I currently have a basic plot point or two rolling around in my head.

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round 4 [BBB_R4] (Runs thru 7 Jan 2023)

Ten fills,  four WIPs  & ideas for everything except one square  - Working on a Column B bingo to start.

* B2 - Funeral - see SBB N2 - Blanket  above

* B3 - Sam Wilson|Falcon - this would be a good candidate for a continuation of After One Or Two False Starts

* U2 - AU: Roommate  - Still wanting to use the Meet Ugly prompt: 02. I bought a house three months ago but I’m finally moving in and discover you’ve been squatting because you’re homeless    – probably WinterHawk with  recovering!Bucky being the squatter in Clint’s apartment building.  

* U4 - AU: Arranged Marriage - will probably pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion  back up for this one.  

* U5 - Kill List -  see MWAP  - G4 - Canon Divergence.  Post CA:TWS above

* C2 - “Oh, hell no” - possible crossover with MWAP I1 - Steve is here for TFaWS

* C4 - KINK: Aftercare -  possibly MWAP Sex Pollen or  TSB KINK: Concubine

*C5 - “This might as well happen” -  Used this for the Sept BBB Round Robin  (crackfic - Emperor’s New Groove inspired)   - not sure if/when it will post,  but will add a link when it does.   😁

* K1 - Thighs - combined this with with SRB Game Night  and HHB Hiding Discomfort for a 3 Prompts --> Summary game  that I may turn into a BarberShop Quartet (Steve/Bucky/Natasha/Sam) ficlet.  (tho the HHB prompt will probably get saved for Whumptober, if I participate)

* K2 - Comics - sew the  Stuffed Marvel Classic Comics Bucky Barnes I drew up for Bucky’s birthday.  

* K3 - KINK: Edging  - crossing over with TSB KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging & I finally got a start on the WinterIron PWP for this (Bucky POV with toy play and Tony as a power bottom)  Hanging by a Moment is sitting at 96 words at the moment.

* Y2 - Never the fall that kills you -  this might be the title for a reverse hanahaki WinterIron prompt from @lacrimula-falsa ….  

* Y3 - “Run”  -  see MWAP I5 - Dogsitting above.

* Y4 - KINK: Seduction Mission - crossover with SBB - B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.”  

* ADOPTED1 - Peggy Carter -  potential WW3some shenanigans ahead - another 3 prompts --> Summary inspiration that may work with the SRB  A4 - Touch Attention/Denial  square - 395 words into a  Peggy & Bucky conversation at the moment.  

Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 2  (SRB_R2) - Ends 31 Jan

Ten fills posted  – happily accepting plot bunnies here as well.  

* A1 - Never Have I Ever -  see AvB  Friends with Benefits

* A4 - Touch Attention/Denial  - See BBB Peggy Carter square?

* B2 - Mile High Club -  this seems made for Stony sexy shenanigans…

* B3 - Bruce Banner -  see AvB  Death above.

* C1 - Arranged Marriage - see SBB Royalty square  - remix/Part 2?

* E2 - Comics Nomad Steve  - SWC sketch of Nomad!Steve

Tony Stark Bingo - Round 6  (TSB_R6)  [Ends 28 Feb]

Four fills and 1 WIP at the moment -    with about a dozen Vague Ideas.

* T1 - One Night Stand - see AvB - B4 - Age Gap

* T2 - Doing Groceries - see MWAP B3 - Farmer’s Market

* T3 - Pepper Potts/Rescue -  remix of sabrecmc’s  Indecent Proposal

* T4 - KINK: Concubine - possible crossover with   BBB C4 - KINK: Aftercare?

* A4 - AU: College - see SBB N2 - Blanket

* R2 - IronWidow -  next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion ?

* R4 - Occupational Hazard - see SBB I5 - Matchmaker Bots

* K1 - Endgame Fix-It  - see SBB B3 - AU: Canon Divergence

* K2 - Secret Admirer -  carried this over from last round so I could try my hand a remix of Seeds of Love  (WinterIron hanahaki fic by the super-talented @hddnone).  Potential title:  Wraps Around My Heart, Refusing to Unwind

* K3 - KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging -  see BBB KINK: Edging  

* K5 - Protectiveness -  see SBB Mistaken Identity

Stucky Bingo Round Four [SB_R4] (Ends 31 May 2023

Two fills and one WIP with a couple of other vague ides.

* O4 - AU: Supernatural - see MWAPB Soulmates  above.

I also adopted the Writing Format: Remix one of your fics  – am thinking of taking one of my Stony or WinterIron  No Powers fics and adapting it to a Stucky pairing – if you have any requests - hit me up!  

WinterIron - No Powers AU  –  Stony No Powers AU

————

On other creative fronts:  I have a  Mister Lobo Stuffed With Character figure on deck. Am also gearing up for a classic monster/horror con in October and a  superhero con in March - so am focused on building up stock for both.  Plus I have to make space for Marvel Trumps Hate -  just signed up earlier this week! 

if  you’re looking for one of a kind gifts for the holiday season, check  out Stuffed With Character   over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 80!).   They’re  mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC   and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design  requests  for any fandom!

[nephilim-problems]

Hi guys! This is a new fic I came up with where the reader is Barry Allen's ex-wife and she moves to Virgina and becomes a part of the BAU. It's basically a cross over between The Arrowverse and Criminal minds. Let me know if you want more 🥰

I had been working at the BAU for 3 years and I felt like I was in a family but what type of person keeps secrets for their family? Everyone is the answer but I felt guilty for hiding a whole half of my life, and my slight crush on my boss. I mean it was only a slight crush I found him very attractive but he of course was my boss and he would never go over that professional barrier. I tapped my pen against my desk, feeling like I had read the same line on the same report 7 or 8 times. This job was great except for the paperwork. The paperwork was always the most boring part. 

    “Guys we have a case,” J.J said walking into the bullpen. 

    I looked up and saw Hotch wasn’t in his office and Rossi wasn’t either. They were probably already at the round table. Morgan came around my side as I push my chair in. 

    “He’s probably already at the table sweetheart,” Morgan said putting his hand on the small of my back. “We should probably head there too.” 

    “Yeah we should,” I sighed letting him lead me away. 

    “There goes my weekend,” Prentiss said taking a seat next to Rossi. 

    “You had plans this weekend?” Morgan asked sincerely as we sat down. “I stopped making plans years ago.”

    “I still like to try,” She smiled. 

    “We wanted to take Henry to the zoo this weekend but I guess Will will have to go alone,” J.J said, sending a text I guessed to her boyfriend. 

    “I actually didn’t have plans so,” Reid replied, making me chuckle. 

    “I wanted to go check out that new restaurant down the street, but I guess there’s always when we get back,” I laughed as Garcia set a case file in front of me. 

    “Happy friday my darling profilers you are going to central city, Missouri, 3 women found dead all dumped by the side of the road going into the city. All 3 showed signs of torture and rape and then there is this, which is why the central city police is calling us in,” Garcia spoke but all eyes wen wide after we saw the pictures.

    “He removed their tongue,” J.J said looking disgusted. “That’s new.”

    “Actually this is the second time we have seen this. The last time was when Holis Walker killed 4 people in order to promote his book,” Reid replied. 

             "So rage maybe?" I said. "Maybe these women mean something to him."

             "He shows remorse with the way he dumps the body," Morgan replied. "But he's so angry when he kills them." 

              "Either Way we have 2 days to find this girl alive. Wheels up in 30," Hotch said, collecting his case files and bolting out of the room. 

               I started to collect mine when Penelope, Emily, and J.J sat around me. They had left all their stuff on the table where they were sitting and they were all staring at me. 

               "So when are you going to tell Hotch you have a crush on him?" Emily asked, staring into me. 

"I-I don't have a crush on Hotch," I chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "He's my boss, that would be completely wrong."

"You think you can hide that from some profilers?" J.J asked, smiling at me. 

"I am not hiding anything," I laughed when suddenly I saw Morgan coming up behind Penelope.

"Baby girl, why are you picking on her," Morgan asked, setting his hands on her shoulders. 

"Oh we're just teasing little miss (Y/N/N) about her crush on hotch," Emily said causing everyone to laugh. 

"And I just said I didn't have a crush on Hotch," I said standing up. 

"Sweetheart we all know, its okay," Morgan laughed, making me uncomfortably shuffle towards the door. 

"I definitely do not have a thing for Hotch," I replied walking towards the door. "I have to get my go bag before anyone else starts in om my supposed crush on hotch." 

I heard laughter from behind me but ignored it and ran to grab my bag. I quickly scooped the bag up and ran to meet the team. 

Soon we were sitting on the jet discussing the case when the pilot announced we would be landing in 10 minutes. That was Hotch's que to start handing everyone a job. 

"Rossi, you and agent Prentiss head to the abduction site, Reid, you and Agent Allen head to the dump site, J.J, Morgan, and I will head to the police department," Hotch finished then Morgan cut in. 

"Reid and I were actually hoping to head to the police department," he said and Reid looked suspiciously at him then turned back. 

"I wanted to start the geological profile," Reid smirked unconvincingly. 

"Okay I will go with Rossi, Prentiss, you head to the crime scene," Hotch replied, sighing and looking over the file. 

"Actually, sir, I would like to go to the abduction site if that's okay with you," Emily smiled. 

"I'll go to the dump site then. We will meet back at the station when we're done,"Hotch replied. 

The rest of the team smiled at each other before looking at me. I rolled my eyes at them and crossed my legs. They were absolutely right though, I did have a massive crush on Hotch. It started as just thinking he was hot and wanting to feel him thrust into me then I found the comforting side of him. I had gotten kidnapped while on a case Morgan joked it was a "rite of passage". It wasn't terrible. He had cut me a bit but when the team had broken open the door to his house it startled him enough for me to wiggle out of my restraints and attack him. Eventually I had to stab him just as Hotch broke in. He doted over me for weeks making sure I was okay and that he was always there if I needed to talk. It was very cute and it made my feelings for him grow more intense; however I was going to deny it until I was blue in the face. Even if it was no use because I was lying to a group of profilers. 

It was an uncomfortable ride to the dump site. I was trying to focus on the file in front of me but it was unbearably hot in the humid Missouri weather and for some horrible reason the a/c wasn't working. I was closer to using the file as a fan than actually looking it at. Hotch had taken his jacket off and loosened his tie which had me on edge. It looked as hot as I felt. I couldn't take my eyes off him but I didn't want him to see me. 

Soon the car was stopping and I was hopping out thankful to be out of the car but somehow it was hotter outside. 

"Hotch I can see the body was from here," I said standing on the other side of the car. 

"So he wasn't trying to hide her," he replied. 

I followed him down off the street and across the crime scene tape. 

"He has to have stayed here awhile. Posing on the victim, her hair is brushed, and her fingernails are painted. But he could be seen from the road," I said, throwing my hands in the pockets of my pants. 

"So he doesn't stand out," Hotch replied. 

"Or he parked his car and hid himself from view." 

"Then the car was plain enough not to raise alarm." 

"We're in Central City Hotch. I lived here for a bit, the locals are helpful. If they saw a car parked here at night they'd probably stop to ask what's wrong." 

Hotch actually looked a bit stumped for the first time since I had started working at the bau. 

"Then he has to have a van or truck," Hotch said.

"That's big enough to conceal her and him but something you wouldn't stop on the side of the road to help," I said stepping around the scene. "What about city or park trucks?" 

"They're large enough to block traffic from seeing him," Hotch paused. "Let's head to the station to meet with J.J, Reid, and Morgan. Hopefully Reid has something with the geographical profile." 

With those words Hotch was off with a phone to his ear I assume to Garcia. I followed close behind and slid in the car with him and we took off to the station. It wasn't far. We talked about the heat mainly and Central City. When we pulled up to the station I got queezy. This meant I'd have to see Joe and Barry again. It was a life I was hoping would never clash with this one. 

Hotch parked and we walked up the steps to the central city police station. It looked just as I remembered it, beautiful. J.J came fast approaching and stopped in front of Hotch. 

"Hotch, Captain Singh may have brought us in but the officers aren't cooperating. Detective Joe West was the officer assigned to this case." J.J said, stopping us in our tracks. 

"Is he cooperating?" Hotch replied. 

"For the most part yeah," J.J said tapping her thighs which she only did when she was frustrated. 

"They won't cooperate because of the flash," I piped up and they all looked at me confused. 

"Who is the flash?" J.J asked. 

"He's a vigilante from Central City. The U.S government has kept a handle on any information about him to keep from a vigilante crisis," Hotch replied. 

"If central city has the flash, why are we being called in?" J.J asked. 

"The flash is good at catching people but he isn't a detective. He can't find these women like we can," I replied. 

"I don't care about the flash right now, the only thing we should be focused on is finding this girl in the next 40 hours," Hotch said walking by J.J and into the bullpen. 

I followed and saw Joe talking to Reid and Morgan in a small glass room on the other side of the bullpen. I basically ran over and opened the door so excited to see Joe again. Then I saw Barry standing with them. 

"(Y/N)," Joe called out. 

"Joe," I smiled as he grabbed me into a large hug. 

"It's so good to see you," he said, squeezing me tightly. 

"It's so good to see you too," I smiled, parting from the hug and pulling Barry in. I hadn’t realized how much I missed his hugs. 

"It's been awhile (Y/N/N)," Barry said and I could hear the smile in his voice. 

"Yeah, I've missed you Bares," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

"I missed you too," Barry mumbled as I pulled away. 

"You guys know each other?" Morgan asked. 

"Yeah, I was in college and I lived with Joe, Barry, Wally, and Iris," I said feeling a bit happier. 

"Barry has been helping us with the forensic side of things," Reid replied. 

"How far did you get with the geographical profile?" I asked 

"Not very far," Reid said, making his nervous smile. 

"Don't tell Hotch that," I smirked and patted him on the shoulder. 

"We're thinking male, white, late 20s early 30s, sexual sadist," Morgan said, throwing the file down. 

"Hotch and I think he might work for the city or parks. He's got a truck that gives him enough privacy to pose the victim and brush her hair," I said. "And the only thing we could think of was city and park vehicles." 

"I already called Garcia to check for white males in their late 20s early 30s that have access to city or park vehicles," Hotch said standing over me. 

"That's almost anyone," Joe replied. "Anyone who works for the city, parks and recreation, police, or even just rich CEOs who donate." 

"Can you get me a list of all those people?" Hotch asked. 

"Yeah," Joe replied and started walking. "Barry, I'm going to need your help." 

"Coming Joe," Barry replied. "(Y/N/N) you s-should come by for dinner. Iris would love to see you." 

"I'll make time for it Barry," I smiled and squeezed his arm as he left. 

"Sweetheart, why didn't you tell us you were from here?" Morgan asked. 

"I'm not from here," I laughed trying to brush him off. "Iris, Barry, and I went to college together. We've kept in contact the best we can but things have happened." 

"Oh yeah what things?" Morgan laughed as Emily and Rossi came in. 

"The victim put up a huge struggle," Emily said and I silently cheered. "She threw anything within reach at him. We found bullet holes in the walls. We think she had a gun." 

Suddenly Morgan pulled out his phone.

"Hey baby girl it's Morgan," he said and we all knew he was calling Garcia. "I'm going to put you on speaker." 

"Hey Garcia, did Alyssa Smith have a gun registered to her?" Emily asked, putting her hands on the table. 

"Yes she did own a gun. She also had a hunting license," Garcia replied. 

"Did any of the other 3 victims?" Hotch asked, setting his hand on the lower of my back. It sent chills down my spine as I tried to focus. 

"Yes, all 3 victims had gun licenses and hunting licenses," Garcia replied. 

"Thanks baby girl," Morgan said. 

"Anything for you my love," Garcia replied as Morgan hung up the phone. 

 "You know, cases where victims have and use guns scare the shit out of me," I said, taking a step back and feeling slightly sad when Hotch took his hand off of me. 

"Thats our only pattern," Reid sighed. 

"I don't know if you've noticed but central city isn't exactly a hunting gun owning town. Most people don't own a gun unless you work in law enforcement," I replied. 

"Detective West said  law enforcement was on our list of people who had access to the vehicles we are looking for," Hotch said. "Get Garcia on the phone. I'm going to see if I can check on that list." 

"I'm going to talk to Barry and see if he has any contacts who saw anything," I said, starting to walk towards the door. 

"J.J make sure this doesn't get leaked to the press," Hotch said following. "Agent Allen, I need to talk to you." 

"Uh, yes sir," I said walking out and standing on the side. 

[syndxlla]

Part ten of the More To Love Series

Summary: The ball is tomorrow night and preparations are in full swing in the Mandalorian Palace. In desperate need of a break from all of the Masquerade planning, you get away from the palace for a few hours. This gives you a chance to reflect on your relationship with the Knight, learn more about his past, and grow closer with Koska.

Word Count: 10.9k, NO ‘Y/N’

Warnings: SMUT (handjob, grinding, this is like actually sort of gross if you over think it so just don’t over think it thanks <3), THIS IS EXPLICIT, 18+ CONTENT, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Swearing. Mentions of: blood, scars, fighting, hand-to hand combat.

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: insight of recent events surrounding my tumblr, I have added an additional in-text warning for the smut scenes. This will continue for future chapters for those who do not wish to read the explicit scenes of More to Love.

Author’s Note: HEY, it’s been a little while, huh? Happy to be back. THANK YOU FOR 1k FOLLOWERS HOLY CRAP!! You all mean so much to me and the support of this fic is unlike anything I could have ever asked for! Also... the smut in this gets,, nasty. Like not that bad it isn’t super kinky or needs lots of warnings it’s just... like gross if you think too hard about that so do me a favor and don’t overthink it haha. OKAY LOVE YOU ENJOY

Part Nine

“No, If you keep that elbow down it will throw off your balance.”

“Okay, what if I hold it like this.”

“No it will get more tired faster.”

“Well how long do I have to keep it up like this?”

“Until the song ends!” You sigh, your fingers coming up to hold your eyebrow out of frustration. You and the Knight have been in the library for nearly an hour trying to learn how to waltz together and if you didn’t know any better, you’d guess he had two left feet. He was starting to get the hang of it, though. Slowly but surely and through a lot of trial and error but you don’t have very much room to talk because an hour before this one, he was just as frustrated with you because you couldn’t swing at him with nearly enough power needed to make some damage on anyone. This is how you’ve spent your last two evenings with the knight. The two of you sarcastically bullying one another in learning the opposite’s art. It was already Friday, the ball was tomorrow and you weren’t sure if he was going to be able to pull it together in time. The worst part is that you haven’t had anytime privately with him to do your... usual antics. There was always someone with you, usually Korkie or Koska, or the dance and fighting practice took up too much time to really have any fun.

The palace has been bustling the last two days. Every servant has had a task they were always doing, there was no down time for them which meant lots of downtime for the Royals. If there was no one to set up tea, then there would be no tea, simple as that.

Because of the high workload put on the staff of the palace, each royal has been subject to dinner in their own rooms alone this week, which was a dream come true for you. Dinner was your least favorite time of the day because of how painful it was to get through socially. And it also meant you got to spend more time with your own thoughts. You still aren’t sure what to do about the marriage, especially since you’ve admitted to yourself that you think you are falling for the beskar-clad knight who stands watch outside your door.

Even Soniee has been spending less time inside your quarters pampering you (you could really use a bubble bath). At all hours of the day, there was either a team of butlers carrying large bouquets of flowers down ornate hallways, a chef interrupting your dress fitting with Soniee and Koska to have you try another flower-flavored mousse, or an immediate meeting with the Queen to learn about some of your guests who will be at the masquerade and how to properly greet them. One time yesterday, you were asked to review the lanterns they picked out for the garden decorations. You were so indifferent to the ones they picked that the servants actually sent you back inside out of frustration. Along with the controlled chaos of preparations, the mask making has still left you feeling guilty. Just this morning you caught a glimpse of Koska’s shaky hands that had clearly been pricked by one too many needles while sewing jewels into the Queen’s mask. You must have apologized too much because she eventually got snarky and asked you to quit saying sorry about it. As much as you would like to dance with your knight with others looking on, you weren’t sure if it was worth all the pain and labor others were putting themselves through for it.

Party planning was exhausting, and on top of all of it, you needed to teach the most uncoordinated man in the kingdom how to waltz. It genuinely baffled you how he was able to be so methodical and perfect in hand-to hand combat and in bed but can barely hold his own in situations such as these. There was something charming about that flaw, however.

Now, the golden sunlight of the aging day was pouring into the towering windows of the Mandalorian library. It had made the room warm, and showed just how valuable the knight’s dark skin was as his bare hands soaked in the rays. You caught yourself staring at them a few too many times, which to your dismay, he caught you doing.

“You’re staring again.” He says while the two of you are practicing the basic 1, 2, 3 waltz step. Your eyes jump back to the emotionless visor of the beskar helmet which looked down at your face. You didn’t even realize you were looking at your hand holding out to the right, studying the way his knuckles looked and how clean his fingernails were.

“Sorry… It’s just that dancing is usually an emotional thing, you’re supposed to play off of eachother I suppose.” You shrug, stopping the dance. You realized you had been searching for something to play off of, anything, even if it’s just the calloused fingers of a hard worker.

You wouldn’t think the two of you would be so far behind and underprepared but for a majority of these rehearsals you’ve been the one leading as he figures it out. You know how bad it would look if you were the one leading tomorrow, and you’re starting to lose hope that you’re going to pull this off. You had wished you started teaching him earlier, but knew that he would have never agreed before now.

“Princess, you do realize that you’re probably still not going to see my face if we dance tomorrow.” He drops your hands. You sigh, you did know it, you just didn’t want to admit it.

“I know… when do you take it off?” You couldn’t remember if you had asked this already. Maybe you were out of line for asking, but a piece of you didn’t care, you deserved to know.

He was quiet, he always was when you asked him something personal. Maybe he was hoping you would get the idea by now…

“When I eat, when I sleep… sometimes around my son. Sometimes around other guards.” He said as he walked towards one of the library windows. You followed him, a few footsteps behind. He stopped at the glass, his reflection disturbing the pristine scene outside. You could see the beach from this window, not as well as in other parts of the castle, but the horizon of the Mandalorian sea was still in view. Your reflection came up behind his. You could see the exhale of his lungs from the shift in armor weight.

“I understand if you never want to show me.” You said. You didn’t really believe that, but you did respect him, and because of that you had to accept the reality that he may never show you. Maybe you were just trying to convince yourself that. You walk a little further to him and stand up on your tippy-toes so that you may rest your chin on his shoulder, looking out at the world below. It was so peaceful from up here. You’ve only left palace grounds once in the last two weeks and you desperately want to again. Being cooped up inside an oil painting was getting exhausting. “I want to go somewhere.” You mutter, your arms wrapping around his waist to hug him from behind: a pure and innocent act of affection.

“What?” His helmet turns to the side just a little bit so that you might hear him better. “Like… the Garden? The Parlor?”

“No!” You chuckle against his pauldron, “Outside, I want to get out of the palace again.”

“Did you forget what happened last time we went out?” He asks meditatively. “We can’t risk anything happening to you before tomorrow, The Queen would be furious, and even worse, Koska would be too.”

“Of course I didn’t forget! I’ll have the scar to always remind me” You giggle at his remark. “And besides, I-I want to go to the water.” You step out from behind him to look out at and gesture to the gentle waves against the golden beach. “I’ve been on a sandy beach before.” You clear your throat.

“We… might be able to arrange that. How about we go on Sunday? After the ball?” He attempts to negotiate.

“Or we could go now? There’s no formal dinner tonight.” You suggest.

“Your parents are coming in tonight, along with a number of other guests, not to mention Grand General Vizsla, all the Royal Guard is to be presented to him at nine.” He groans, but you were determined to convince him. You really needed a break from all of the planning, fittings and tastings.

“So? It’s barely five! We can just go for a little while!” You say as you look at the grandfather clock that sits nestled between two bookcases. You weren't feeling very optimistic, you doubted he would not budge, he’s always been so stubborn. “I can repay you…” You bite your lip. You were also incredibly horny and remember overhearing a maid back home talk about sex on the beach. It had always excited you.

He sighs again.

“Please? For me? I seriously deserve a break, so do you.” You reach out to stroke his hand. You knew that would probably work, it has before.

“Fine-“

“Really!?”

“Yes, but we have to tell Koska just so they don’t think we’re missing again.” He turns to walk out of the library. You silently congratulate yourself on getting the most unmovable and obedient man in the galaxy to go against his orders and do what you want. You happily skip behind him. “It takes a while to get all the way down to the beach so we should probably take a horse.” He says on the move. “Do you know how to ride?”

“I’m royalty, of course I do… do you?” You revising a teasing eyebrow.

He scoffs at your question, “There is much you do not know about me.”

“Well, you make it sort of hard for me to learn.” You roll your eyes playfully. He elbows you in the side, knocking you off your balance. You attempt to do the same to him, nudging him right back but not even getting the boy to budge and hurting your funny bone a little against the Beskar.

It takes you two a few minutes of complete silence and portrait-perfect stature to get all the way down the palace into the servants quarters. The only other time you had been in these narrow, stone hallways in the ground level of the Mandalorian Castle was earlier this week after Korkie begrudgingly led you back to your quarters in a wet peasant gown and a stinging bicep.

By the time the knight and yourself had made it down here, he was leading you through the maze of corridors, past helmetless knights who all nodded out of respect as they passed you, and into a wooden-arch. The room you had entered into must have been the servant’s common room, because it was about the size of the dining room. A candle-lit, wooden chandelier hung over four long tables, unlike the glass and oil-lamp chandeliers in the rest of the palace. A large fireplace burned on one wall, illuminating the room more and several small, gothic-arch windows towards the ceiling allowed warm light to pour into the cozy hall. Several handmaidens bejeweled masks at one table, twice as many sewed the bases of the coverings at another. One table showcased all of the finished designs, which depicted extravagant bird beaks, colorful fox and wolf snouts, towering cat and rabbit ears, ornate peacock tails, sharp antlers and horns on some and even incredible tusks on a few. They were all breathtaking, and while you felt guilty for making so many staff members work double-time, you appreciated their handy-work in making your dream come true.

The fourth and final table was mostly empty, a few elderly and child servants ate potato soup at it, and one maid cleaned her finger-nails at the opposite end. Everything was so simple and normal, it was such a display of controlled chaos that almost made you forget about the corruption in Mandalore… almost.

A sharp whistle rang through the room, and immediately, everyone dropped what they were doing, stood up swiftly from their seats on the long benches that paralleled each table, and turned to look at you before bowing deeply and diligently. They hadn’t even noticed you were there at first and interrupting their normalcy was not what you intended to do, but then you caught sight of who it was that sang the whistle. Koska Reeves was walking through the bowed, silent heads to you and the Knight. She looked exhausted, her hair was down and over her shoulders instead of pinned up in the intricate braids she usually wore them in when she was around royalty. The amount of fly-always was distracting but you couldn’t blame her, she would not disappoint the Queen with her work, even if that meant looking a little rough and disheveled.

“What’s the meaning of this? All royalty is supposed to be approved before coming in here.” She says to your knight chivalrously, then turns to you, “This is no sight for you, princess.” Something told you that she wasn’t only referring to the activities taking place in the common room. “I am sorry for our disorder.”

“No worries, Lady Reeves. There’s no need to apologize. I am most impressed by the work done on the masks for tomorrow.” You gesture to the table with the completed designs.

She sighs and smiles, “Thank you.” She nods before turning around, “Carry On!” She calls out to the room and everyone returns to normal as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, as if you weren’t even there. There was something you liked about that, something that reminded you that even though you have a lucky bloodline, you’re human too, and not all that different from the workers in this very room. Their daily routine was fascinating to you. “What do you two want?” She hushes her voice and drops her “right-hand woman to the queen”, first lady-in-waiting and head of the Mandalorian royal staff persona. She’s now the same brash friend you two shared.

“We want to go out for a while, it’ll just be a few hours but we knew we needed to tell someone in case anyone notices that we’re missing.” The Knight nods, explaining the situation. She raises a questionable eyebrow.

“Absolutely not, we cannot risk anything happening to her before tomorrow night.” Your heart drops.

“That’s what I said, but she’s incredibly convincing.” He shrugs, tilting his head just enough to show the extra bit of emotion. Koska looks between the two of you, her hands perched firmly on her hips. You caught sight of her hands again, which were now bandaged tightly with the same white gauze that she wrapped your cut arm with earlier this week. You wondered if that was done to dress bleeding wounds, keep the shakiness from over-working and late nights in control, or a dreadful mix of both. A terrible feeling told you it was the third.

“Vizsla is going to be here.” She raises an eyebrow, her intimidating demeanor hasn’t gone away even after she’s become aware of your little secret (well, actually massive, life-altering, “how-the-hell-am-I-gonna-fix-this?” secret). “If you aren’t here, that could result in a court-martial from the Queen herself.”

“Sounds tempting.” He replies.

“You and I both know what’s going to happen to you and your little boy if you step out of line, even once, which is why I’m guarding your scandle so close to my heart.” Her voice get’s real quiet when she says that, and he shifts his weight. Your heart drops, what in the world could she mean by that? “You know what could happen to you if I accidentally slip something, that’s why I won’t cover for you.”

“What the hell does that mean?” You whisper. She glances at you and then right back to him.

“Wow, you really haven’t told her much, have you?” Koska’s arms move from her hips into a fold over her chest. He doesn’t respond.

“Told me much about what?” You ask, worried about whatever was going on that you didn’t know about. Every day you’re reminded about how much of a stranger he really is to you.

“All she knows is that I had an old job, that’s all she needs to know.” He bites back, his voice equally hushed.

“If you’re fucking her, she deserves to know a lot more, but that’s just my opinion.” Koska chuckles once and you blush red hot. “I mean, at least tell her your name.”

“Why is this happening here? Now?” He gestures to the very crowded room. “Look, we just want to go down to the beach for an hour at the most. We’ll be back long before Vizsla gets here. You won’t have to cover for us, I swear.” He tries changing the subject but your mind is racing with the possibilities and confusion of the conversation you were just welcomed into.

Koska looks between the two of you a few times again, carefully considering what’s on the table and the risk. “Fine, one horse. I mean it, only one because if two are gone, someone will notice and then I’m gonna have to do exactly what I told you I wouldn’t do and what you said I won't have to: cover for your ass. Get out of here.” She beckons her head to a door that leads outside as a smile spreads across your cheeks. “Djarin! Don’t be late!” She calls out as you begin walking. That’s the second time you have heard that word, both times uttered from Koska’s mouth. Something wanted you to believe that might be his name but you were far too scared to find out for your own. You would try to remember it this time.

The knight leads you out of the room, and you watch Koska over your shoulder as you follow, studying the way she stood still immediately after you walk away, taking a few deep, sharp breaths and then promptly returning to her work. You wondered if she was tired, remembering that not everyone who lives in the Mandalorian Palace has the same relaxing lifestyle that you have.

Despite the aging daylight, it was still deathly hot. The heat of summer bled onto your shoulders, which were still partially covered due to the scarring cut in your muscle. The clothing only added to the heat. The part of the Castle grounds you were were foreign to you. They weren’t the beautiful, lush and trimmed gardens or breezy courtyards you usually spend your afternoons in, no. It was dark, the tall height of the palace shading the courtyard where knights sparred and a pair of little servant girls chased one another. One wall that lined the courtyard was the horse stables, and another was a blacksmith. The golden light shone through the stables, and you were able to spot the four white horses that took you and Korkie to Keldabe earlier this week despite the beasts being backlit.

“You can ride, I’ll just walk.” He says as he guides you to a palomino, a tall horse with a Caramel body and pure white mane.

“Are you sure?” You ask, not wanting him to have to walk.

“Of course.” He says as he mindlessly bridles the horse, petting him on the nose a few times. “Do you prefer a saddle?” He asks. You nod, and he swings the seat over the back of the steed.

“Does this horse have a name?” You ask, reaching your hand out to pet his neck a few times. The horse nickers at your touch.

“He likes you.” The Knight chuckles. You smile at the statement, and continue to stroke the soft hair on the neck. “Clove.” He says, his voice velvet and full of caring. The knight knew this horse. They had a bond. “Here.” He holds his hand up for you to hoist yourself onto the saddle. You were in no way dressed for riding, and the saddle wasn’t even a side-riding seat, but you would make it work. You knew that on the palace grounds you would have to ride side-saddle, it’s customary, and how you learned. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t ride regularly. The horses back home in Corellia were massive beasts, animals suited for harsh winters and heavy amounts of snow, thick fur covers their ankles so that they can trudge through deep snow and pull sleighs. The Mandalorian horses were far more majestic, more like show horses than work horses. Clove was gentle, though, that was something that wasn’t common for the strong horses up north. He didn’t move a muscle or bat an eyelash as you heave yourself onto his back, adjusting yourself to sit properly, the knight’s hand holding yours tightly as you positioned yourself and then rearranging the heavy skirt of your dress to properly cover your legs. His plan grazes your shin as he does it, and your eyes immediately catch the visor of his beskar helmet. You liked to think he was looking at your eyes, too. The moment is so still, time freezing for half a second.

He starts to walk the horse out of the opposite side of the stable and into the field behind the palace. You could see the tree line of the garden from here. The bridle was tightly wrapped around his hand as he led the two of you out of the palace and into the hot, hot sun. This was the first time you’ve ridden a horse in a very long time, and you had almost forgotten how much you loved it. A cheesy smile was on your face, and your eyes cycled from the mane of the horse, the shoreline ahead, the back side of the ornate castle and the top of the helmet of the knight. The sun reflected off of the beskar, causing a bright illumination to shine on the bodice of your gown. He walked methodically and quietly, and you wanted to start a conversation with him but it didn’t feel right.

Comfortable silence is often overlooked, something taken for granted that is really only shared between two trusting people. You aren’t sure if you’ve ever experienced a genuine comfortable silence with anyone before. Being a royal has a lot of “fine print”, one of which being that no one ever shut up. Korkie isn’t the only self-centered, talkative royal in this world. The thing that sets Korkie aside from the rest is the fact that you’ll have to deal with it intimately for the rest of your life.

There was something wildly attractive about the introvert by your side. Because he was few with words, it caused you to seek them out, and cherish what little you did get. He was warming up to you, opening up and every time you get a moment alone with him, he says a little more. Your conversations now are very different from that first night in the castle when he helped you untie your corset. All he said originally was “Goodnight, Princess”, and now he’s telling you about the stars and teaching you how to fight and defend yourself. The idea that it’s happened too fast has crossed your mind several times, but you considered that when you’re alone with someone almost all day, every day, you’re bound to get to know one another quicker than usual. However, you’ve also been afraid that you came off too harsh, maybe you jumped into it all too fast and overwhelmed him. What if he’s only complying to the relationship because he’s obligated to through his duty? You had to admit that there were a number of insecurities surrounding your friendship, you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t think that. Maybe you felt that way because you relied so heavily on him to get away from the other boy in your life who you can’t escape no matter how hard you try. Was it entirely possible that the knight feels about you the way you feel about Korkie? That very thought made you sick, your stomach twisting and preventing you from enjoying the beautiful landscape ahead.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. He noticed that you had tensed up. You silently curse yourself for not hiding it better.

“What?” Your look down at him, forcing a false smile. He was looking up at you now, his hand resting on your knee. Your eyes move from where he holds you and back up to the visor on his helmet. “Oh… nothing.” You hum.

“You are a fool if you think you can hide anything from me.” He tilts his head and your cheeks burn with blush. You sigh, knowing you should tell him. The chances are that expressing these concerns to him might give you a piece of mind… or they could do the exact opposite. You aren’t sure if you can take the emotional weight of resenting two men who you admire. You admire them for entirely different reasons, however. You admire Korkie for his dedication to his kingdom, and you admire that he’s genuinely trying his best. However, you admire the Knight for his kindness, his patience, his protection. You admire his velour voice, his plush lips, and the way he touches you. You admire that he’s a father, that he’s split his dedication between his duty to his kingdom and his duty to his son. You admire his deep chuckle, and the way he kisses you, the way you can see him laugh when you shoot him silly faces during dinner. You both admired and was frustrated by his obedience to his creed. He kept promises, no matter how life-altering they may be.

As you reflect on all the reasons he meant anything to you, you felt a sense of peace. It was better, the feeling in your stomach, that is. You decide it is right to tell him, you recall your governess explaining to you that all good relationships are built on enthusiastic communication, and you wanted your relationship with the Knight to be considered ‘good’. You sigh and then speak up, “I just…” You take a sharp, deep breath in the middle of your sentence before speaking up again, “just lots of insecurities, I suppose.” You shrug.

“Insecure- about what?” He asks.

“Everything, but especially us.” You didn’t really want to have this conversation, but you knew you had to.

“May I ask why?” His tone was sincere.

You aren’t sure how to reply at first. “Is it too fast? Am I too much?” You ask after careful consideration of what you were going to bring up first.

“What? No.” You think this was the first time he had ever replied immediately after you ask him something. “What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know-“

“Yes you do… tell me.” He reassures.

“Our personalities are different, you’re quiet and stoic…”

“Is that… bad?”

“No! No, not at all. Royals just aren’t that, and I worry if we’re compatible enough. And don’t mistake me, I admire that about you, but I fear I’m too much for you.” You sigh, shaking your head. Clove nickers again as if he’s listening in on your conversation and chiming in. He doesn’t respond right away which you’ve gotten used to, but if it was any other situation you wouldn’t be overthinking it. You can’t take the silence anymore and speak up, “And there’s the added factor that I’m totally cheating on Korkie with you-”

“-If I thought you were too much, do you think I would let you teach me how to dance?” He interrupts. The words halt in your mouth, and you look at him almost dumbfounded. “Or do you think I would be teaching you how to defend yourself? Fucking you on a royal sofa in an un-locked room? Risking my title to take you to the beach?” He almost sounded… angry? Had you offended him for thinking that? Your legs tensed up on the horse, and you regretted everything you had said. He did have a point, you hadn’t really thought of that.

“I… suppose you’re right.” You mutter.

“I don’t have to be doing any of this,” He grabs your hand, holding it in his and uses his other hand to halt the horse. The three of you pause in the field between the beach and the castle. There had been a downgrade so you were mostly hidden but you could still the upper-towers of the palace. He looks up and you, and you find yourself wishing you could see his eyes again. “But I do because I’m… fond of you.” It sounds like he’s having a hard time getting the words out, but that isn’t very uncommon for him. Your heart flares up, this was the first time he had ever admitted anything like that.

“W-what?” You ask, sounding like a fool.

“I know, it’s crazy. How could a halfwit like myself deserve a Princess like you?” He chuckles under his breath. “Maybe the elf laid a spell on me, I don’t know. But I do know that ever since I was given the duty of protecting you, my life has been different.” You can’t believe what you’re hearing. “I’ve… I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I don’t know what it is but I-I-“ You smile fondly, and use his hand to hop off the horse. You bring your hands up to hold the back of his neck.

“It’s not a spell.” You whisper. “I feel it too.”

“Then it’s a spell on both of us.”

“Maybe.” You move your hands up to his helmet, desperately wanting to remove it, but you remember what you told yourself the other day. If he wishes to show you his face, it should be his choice, he deserves to be the one to take the beskar off. You would respect that. Instead, you just run your fingertips along the lip of the helmet, looking into the visor enchantingly. “Then it would be a wonderful spell.”

His hands find their way to your waist, hugging you to his chest. You rest or head on his shoulder and just close your eyes, feeling his chest plate move with each breath. It’s so still, the summer breeze softly runs through the tall grass. You can hear the waves gently hugging the beach, and the two of you just stand there like that. Completely alone, the only companionship being one another and a mindlessly-grazing horse. No one to interrupt. No doors to lock. No Princes to lie to. No thieves to fight. Just the two of you. If you could stay in that moment for the rest of your life, you would. In the earlier days of your relationship, you used to worry you wouldn’t like what his face looked like, worried that he might be unattractive to you. But every selfish desire you had about his physical appearance dissolved with the wind. No matter what he looked like, or what his past was, or what his name was, you didn’t care. You didn’t care because he cared for you, and you cared for him, too.

Before you can soak in the moment any longer, you’re swiftly grabbing his wrist, and tugging him towards the beach. The stillness of the moment is lost, but you’re quickly giggling as he’s chasing you down the small slope to the beach. You pull your skirt up as far as you can so you don’t trip on it, and find yourself being unable to slow down before the hill meets the shore. The soil slowly becomes more and more sandy, and your feet are bolting against uneven land towards teal, clear water. Before you can reach the ocean, however, strong hands are wrapping around your waist, pulling you flush against the Knight’s chest. You can hear the low rumble of chuckling in his throat, and you have the biggest, dorkiest smile of all time on your face. He spins the two of you around a few times before setting you back down on the beach.

You’re out of breath from running, and your hair is already untidy from the unexpected change of direction. The wind blows it just softly, letting it pull away from your face and neck. He tucks one rogue strand behind your ear, and then cups your face. You hadn’t even realized he’s been gloveless this entire time. You close your eyes and rest your cheek into him. You turn your head ever-so-slightly to kiss his palm, laying a sweet and innocent peck to his calloused skin.

You wonder if he’s hot with all that armor on. If you were too warm with a dress, only he knows what it’s like to have to spend summers so formally.

He’s the one to pull away, walking towards the water. You follow him, and the two of you stand against the tide. You kick your shoes off and pull your dress up again. Stepping into the water. You giggle at the tickle of the sand and smile at the feeling of the warm water against your ankles. He watches you fondly with his arms crossed. The water in Corellia is never this warm, and you throw your head back in bliss, breathing in the salty air. This was the happiest you had ever been since you arrived in Mandalore. The break from all the rules and customs was very needed, and you soaked in the sound of the waves, a distant call of a gull, and the wind keeping your hair out of your face. The best part was the fact that you were experiencing it with the Knight. There is no other person you would rather spend this memory with. You bite your lip and close your eyes and you never want to leave, you want to stay here forever. You hear the sound of metal clinking behind you, and something heavy hitting the sand. You turn to look at the Knight, who had discarded most of his armor. His boots have been carefully set next to one another, and beside them were his pauldrons, wrist guards, thigh plates and breastplate. The chainmail was the next thing to be removed, leaving him in only the dark-brown underclothes. His trousers were heavy duty, covered in various pockets and made out of thick material, but his tunic was a thin material, still long sleeved, but flowy, allowing the fresh, summer breeze to run through the fabric. The two items of clothing were held together by a pair of black suspenders, and the entire ensemble made him oh so… human.

You had only seen him with all his armor on before, and witnessing his shell being removed was both humbling and inspiring. The armor added quite a bit of bulk to his stature, it rounded out his shoulders, boosted his posture, and broadened him out. That was the first thing you noticed about him on the first day you arrived, he was ample in size and it made you feel so primal and safe. Despite his smaller stature without the armor, he wasn’t one bit less attractive to you. He was still the same guy who you were slowly falling for and didn’t even know it. But as he cuffed up his trousers and rolled back his shoulders, you felt so comfortable in his presence. He wasn’t just a mass of armor and creeds and rules, no, he was just a man. He was a single father, a guy who doesn’t know the first thing about dancing, and a boy born across the world in the Nevarro frontier. He was just a man.

You couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your chest that came with this thought. Everything about him was far more simple than you initially thought.

He walked towards you, and you held out your hand for him to take. He laces his fingers with yours as he steps into the shallow water with you. Your dress drops, dipping into the water and getting wet but you can’t even be mad about it. Your smile is big as his hand tightly grasped yours, the two of you looking out at the horizon.

“When I was a boy-” he begins, his voice quiet, “I wanted to live on the sea. Join a ship crew and travel the waters. There was always something so adventurous about that thought.” He shares. You turn to look at him as he speaks, studying the contour of the helmet with your eyes.

“What stopped you?” You ask, not entirely sure if he would share, but this time he was the one to start the conversation, and you felt like he might this time.

He sighs, you see it, he turns to look at you, the two of you staring at one another as the temperature slowly dropped with the sun on the horizon. “I was orphaned when I was only five.” He shrugs, your heart breaks. “It was one of the Mandalorian wars that caused it.”

You can’t imagine what it’s like having to serve a kingdom so intimately when they were responsible for the death of your family. You give his hand a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that you’re here for him. “I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“It’s not your fault, it was so long ago I don’t really remember it.” He looks down at the water.

“Thank you, for sharing that with me.” You smile apologetically. You really did appreciate that he felt comfortable enough to share something so serious with you. While you were grateful that he had begun to open up to you, it still didn’t answer any of the questions about Mandalore’s past, and what Koska was referring to a few days ago. It didn’t tell you what his past job was and why he’s serving the royal family now. However, you supposed it didn’t really matter, not right now, not today.

After a little minute of listening to the waves, he reaches down into the water, picking up a flat, thin rock. He runs his pointer finger along the edge, outlining the shape before hatching it into the space between his index finger and thumb, reeling back, and flicking it out so it hopped over the water’s surface seven or eight times before falling in. You looked at him enchanted, like he had just expressed a magic trick to a bright-eyed child.

“How did you do that?” You ask in awe.

“You’ve never seen anyone skip a rock?” He asks. You slowly shake your head. You’ve been cooped up inside a wintry castle your entire life, of course you haven’t.

“Teach me.” You say a little too forcefully. He chuckles and looks down at the sand, looking for a pebble that might work. He bends down eventually, and picks out a similar looking rock to the original.

“So, you want a rock that’s thin and flat, like this one.” He shows you the sediment. You reach your hand out, taking it and outlining the edge of the stone with your finger similar to how he did. He walks behind you, sloshing in the water but eventually gaining position. He wraps his left arm around your waist, and cups your right hand which holds the rock in his. “Now, don’t throw it quite yet, okay?”

“Alright.”

“You’re gonna flick your wrist like this,” he motions both of your hands at the same time, pulling back and then shooting forward quickly. He does it two or three times before speaking up again. “You’ll use your pointer finger to pull back like the trigger on a crossbow, it will give the rock enough spin that it stays on top of the water.” He makes you do the motion along with him a few times again. “Your shoulders will draw back almost like you’re pulling back an arrow on a bow.” Again, he does the motion with you, your back flush to his chest. You admired that he was able to relate everything to weaponry. He definitely knew his way around combat, that was apparent to you. “Then, you add all three motions together, aim for the horizon, and-“ he pulls back with you and before you know it, the rock is spiraling out of your hand and onto the surface of the ocean. It doesn’t skip, though, and instead plops right into the water.

You frown and look back at him. “What did I do wrong?” You ask, you knew he would know what needed to change.

“You didn’t flick your finger enough. Try again.” He pulls another stone out with a grunt, and holds you against his body to pull back and send another rock out. This one skips once before plopping into the water again. You sigh out, frustrated. “Here, try without me.” He says after handing you a third flat stone. You carefully practice the motion once, desperately wanting to impress him. You then pull back and give it everything you got, only for the stone to plop in without skipping at all again.

“Ugh, lemme try again.” You say angrily. You can hear him laughing at you, but you ignore it, ready to try again and determined to get it right this time.

You must have thrown four more rocks after that with no results. Each time he tried giving you just a little more advice about different things, “Follow through” or “You had too much spin that time”. You were starting to get really frustrated, having never had to really work for anything in your life before, and you knew he was starting to have a hard time finding flat rocks. You would not give up on this.

“Maybe we can try again next time-“

“No.” You say forcefully, “We do not leave this beach until I skip a damn rock, so if you want to be back in time for your evaluation with Vizsla, I suggest you find me another rock.” You raise an eyebrow as you pull out your diplomatic royal voice. He holds his hands back in defense and then tosses you the stone he already had waiting for you. You sigh when you catch it, taking a deep breath and remembering all your training. Don’t spin too much, follow through, add all three motions together, have faith.

You pull back the stone, praying that it will all go according to plan because you aren’t sure how much longer you can take failure. You pick out your target with your eyes before adding together all the advice given to you and sending it. You can hardly believe your eyes when you see it skip at least five times over the water. You cheer out in accomplishment and look over at the Knight, smiling big and triumphant. He runs through the water to you, shouting with you.

“I knew you could do it!” He grabs your waist, congratulating you. You giggle out of achievement. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He asks.

You roll your eyes and playfully punch his arm (which luckily this time was not covered by pain-inflicting chainmail). “A lot easier than having to dodge your hits.” You admit.

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s just a rock skip?” You wonder why he would be proud of you for that and ask yourself if you really are that pathetic.

“Yes but you put your mind to it and did it! I know some guys in the royal guard who would have given up on their third try, but you didn’t!”

“I was just trying to impress you.” You sheepishly chuckle.

“We’ll consider myself: Impressed.” He laughs and you blush.

“They don’t teach royals that.”

“Well of course not, I learned how to do that from the guy who took me in after my parents died. You picked it up much faster than I did.” He nods and you smile again.

The two of you catch your breath from the exuberant laughing, but you aren’t able to enjoy the still moment because all too quick it all comes crashing down quickly when he’s pushing you into the water. It isn’t very deep, but the unexpected soak makes you yelp out in surprise. Your initial reaction is to be frustrated, but you can hear him chuckling by your side and you can’t help but mischievously smiling in response. He’s standing, still dry with a hand over his stomach as he laughs at you. You roll your eyes before reaching up to pull him in with you, he yelps out stupefied as he’s splashing down into the tide next to you. You laugh out at him, sitting up in the water which is about waist deep. He wipes some water away from his visor and then splashes you, swatting a handful of the ocean at your face. Your laughing immediately halts from a mouthful of salt water. Your slight makeup washes off, and your hair is starting to get wet, too. You look over at him with a frown before copying his action and spraying him right back. He laughs at you, and you remember that you can’t win this. He has a helmet to keep his eyes clear from the water. You groan out of frustration, and wipe your eyes dry. He’s just looking at you, panting. His clothes were soaked now. You crawl to be closer to him in the water, which thank goodness it wasn’t too cold because you’d be rushing to get out, but the summer weather made it enjoyable to just sit there together.

[SMUT BEGINS HERE]

You’re next to him, running your fingers lightly up and down his right arm, looking at him fondly. He catches his breath, and brings his wet hand up to cup your face again. You close your eyes, hoping he takes the hint, which he does because a few seconds have your eyes are closed, his arm his pulling away from your touch against it and his lips are pressing into yours. You can tell he completely took the helmet off this time, which means he would take his time kissing you instead of a quick peck to shut you up.

The two of you sit in the water of the Mandalorian Ocean, both of his hands reaching up to hold you as he kisses each eyelid as if to say “keep ‘em closed”, before moving to your lips passionately. His left hand holding your cheek while his right hand finds its place on the back of your neck, pulling you into him. You breathe deeply as he practically devours you, his lips moving hungrily. Your hands find their way to his thighs in the water, running your palms up and down the strong muscle, making sure to take notice of the healing wound on his upper-thigh. Your hands eventually find their way to the waistband of his pants, running your fingers under them to pull out the tuck of the tunic. Fingernails come out of the water and up soft abs that flinch at the stroke. It’s hard to work around the suspenders, but you’re able to still run your hands over his torso, getting to know his body for the first and hopefully not the last) time. He has a few scars, you can feel the fresh tissue under your fingers and wonder what caused them. He’s still kissing you, his left hand moves down to hold your jaw and you keep your eyes tightly shut out of fear of this ending too quickly. The kissing noises are obscene, wet and needy amongst the sound of the waves. The Knight licks into your mouth, his tongue hot and forceful as it explores your mouth, you can taste the lust on his lips, and you happily welcome the sensation.

His right hand works around the way your gown has flared out in the water and eventually wraps itself around your ass, pulling you up onto his lap. You’re mostly out of the water now, just your shins being completely submerged. You’re slightly weighed down by the added weight of a wet skirt, but you sit comfortably on the guards lap, your hands coming up to wrap around his neck, kissing him from above now. The kiss is forced down, and this time you’re able to lick into his mouth, nibbling his lip and deepening the kiss further from the angle. You can’t help your hands from cupping his face now, pulling him into you.

Your noses rub into one another, and both of his arms lift you up from behind. Your back arches into him, and your breathing hitches, getting heavier and hotter. He starts to get hard, you feel it under your body, and a mixture of the kissing and the pressure beginning to press into your cunt is really starting to turn you on. You start to just softly grind against him, moaning a little bit at the feeling of his growing cock against your heat. His hands help you, making the humping motion more smooth and natural. The kissing becomes sloppy now, and the water from the wet bodice is making your nipples just that much harder.

Your hands are reaching down to slide the suspenders off his shoulders, and then you’re pulling his shirt up and unhooking the trousers. Your hand is reaching in and finding the base of his hardening, thick length. He groans at your touch, and you’re bending down to kiss his neck, sucking deep, purple hickeys into his golden skin. You’re needy, still grinding against him and trying not let the water slow you down. He’s sighing breathy moans and grunts in your ear as you start jerking him off. The water does make it hard, but there’s something about the added sensation of the flowing water that really made it unique. You swipe your thumb over the head a few times, getting drunk with the unexpected control you have. This was the first time the two of you have fooled around that you really got to have total dominance. You liked it… you really liked.

He did too.

Your clit is able to rut so slightly and deliciously into your fist and his cock, and you’re having a hard time not letting your eyes open and flutter in pleasure. The same shocks of ecstasy ran up and down your spine, and he held you closer to his body, using his strong hands to cup your ass and knead the soft skin. You’re panting, your free hand reaches down to rub your clit, both of your hands working in between your legs as you straddle the Knight. You’re going to cum already and can’t believe it’s happening so fast but choose not to hold it back. You’re moaning out loud when you cum against your fingers, graining against his lap fast and squeezing his cock a little harder.

“Fuck, did you just cum?” He asks deep in his voice, growling in your ear. You hum out in response against his neck pathetically, and all dominance you previously possessed dissolves as you keep jerking off your Knight. “Dirty girl, kiss me. Keep those pretty eyes closed.” His throat is dry, which you remember from last time that that means he’s close, too. You reach up to kiss him again, going in tongue first and breathing in his scent deeply. One of his hands reaches around to cup yours that is working his length, holding it and adding pressure and then making you go faster, you happily oblige and soon the pace is quick and he’s grunting against your lips. He cums in your hand, you feel the heat of it. He’s panting and sighing and it’s all so hot you think you could get turned on by it again.

He rests his head on your shoulder after cumming, catching his breath. You take your hand out of the water and you tangle your fingers through his hair, toying with the curls as he sighs against your wet skin. You open your eyes now, looking out at the horizon, lashes heavy with lust.

[SMUT ENDS HERE]

“Gross.” You chuckle.

“You liked it.” He hums against your collar bone. His hands are steadfast on your lower back, holding you there against his chest. He doesn’t have the cold breastplate separating the two of you, so your hearts were pressed against one another, beating in perfect synch. You could also finally feel how warm his body was, despite the wet clothes and gentle waves. In your peripheral, you can see some of the brown curls.

Your heart warms, this might be the happiest you have ever been. The two of you must have sat like that for a long time because your skin was starting to prune and your hair was slowly drying with the wind. His breathing had completely calmed, and he was so still and quiet that just for a moment you wondered if he had fallen asleep. The sun was almost down completely, only a little sliver of it peaking over the water. You watched it as it fell to its resting place in the ocean, the sky still blazing oranges and yellows but cooling with a soft, pale blue from the top down. It was so… serene, so peaceful. Nothing like the crashing waves of Corellia. This was the best part of Mandalore yet. It’s saving grace.

The crescent moon is on the horizon when he’s turning to kiss your ear one more time and asking you to close your eyes as he pulls the helmet back on.

“We should probably get back, I don’t want to be late for Vizsla and I’m afraid I’ve started to lose track of time.” He stands up and holds his hand out for you to take. You attempt to hoist yourself up out of the water, but the wet dress has added so much weight that you can’t lift your legs up. You grunt in effort, but there’s no budging. “Huh, looks like we need to take that thing off.”

“Again?” You look up at him, you knew he had a smug smirk under all that beskar. You reach behind you to undo the corset just enough for you to step out of it, water dripping from your undergarment as he yanks you up and out of the warm water. “I’m starting to think you just really like seeing me naked.” You mutter and don’t realize how close you were to him while saying that until after. You catch your tongue, holding your breath as he looks down at you.

“Yeah, something like that.” He mumbles in response and you believe you could faint and die right then and there. He doesn’t let the moment stew for nearly as long as you would have liked for it, however and he’s pulling the sopping wet dress out of the water and carrying it back on shore. He hands it to you when he gets to his armor, and you try ringing some of the liquid out from the fabric but it’s almost too heavy for you to even hold in your arms. He re-assembles his gear on top of the wet clothes and you know that can’t be comfortable. Sand clings to your bare, wet feet, and you're desperately trying to brush some of it off before slipping your shoes back on. He’s resituated too fast, he has dressing his armor down to a perfection and you’re sad to see your beach adventure come to a close so quickly.

Before you know it, he’s walking up the hill again with you by his side, making your ways to Clove who has been diligently and patiently chewing on the grass in the field this entire time.

“Ride with me.” You ask as he helps you onto the palomino. “Please.” You ask. “We’ll get to the palace faster and then maybe you can get out of those wet clothes before you have to go to the meeting.” You ask. He sighs but then nods with a shrug, hoisting himself onto the horse behind you. You were riding normally now, and situated yourself comfortably into his chest. The wet gown lay on the back of the horse and you wished you had thought about removing that before getting into the water.

As the two of you start a gentle gallop to the palace, you feel your hair get drier. At one moment he reaches his hand up to run bare fingers over your healing bicep.

“We should have kept this out of the water.” He says in your ear. You twist your head back to reply.

“It’s okay, really. It’s starting to feel a lot better.” You reassure.

“It looks better, but the salt water can only do bad things to it.” He explains. You shrug, unsure of how he expects you to respond.

The three of you arrive at the castle just as the sky begins to darken, both of you still damp from the ocean but your hearts still full and bodies still riding the orgasm high. The Knight helps you off the horse, and now that you aren’t alone, you feel very aware that you’re only in your undergarments and really anyone could see you. You pull the wet gown off the rump of Clove, which was so saturated that it made his fur wet. You hold it against your body, trying to cover yourself up as much as possible. The Knight removes the saddle of the horse, storing it away and removing the bit. He stretches the beast’s ears and then walks over to the far side of the stable to grab a carrot out of a bucket before handing it to Clove as a reward for his hard work. You watch him as he expertly takes care of the animal, like he’s done it a thousand times before.

Then, with no warning, the two of you hear the shrill voice of none other than Koska Reeves.

“I shouldn’t have let you go.” She’s crossing over the dirt courtyard to the stables. Her hair has been done now, put up into the customary braids they usually are in. She was now wearing the royal blue color reserved for the Queen’s court, a golden sash sitting on her hips. She held the dress above her feet and she hustled in your direction. You felt scared, you knew Koska meant business, and was not afraid to scold. She was intimidating, to say the least. “You’re soaking wet.” She gasps when she gets to the stable fence. “Come with me, Princess. We must get you changed before anyone sees you or the Queen will have my head.” She sighs, opening the gate for you to walk through. “As for you, Vizsla’s here early.”

“What.” You heard the drop in his voice from panic. “Why?”

“No one knew, he just arrived before we could do any regular welcoming. The evaluation is starting in ten minutes, I suggest you move your ass.” She shakes her head. You were incredibly thankful you had both rode Clove now. He wouldn’t have made it back in time if you hadn’t. You did feel a twinge of guilt, however. You shouldn’t have pushed for that so much and risked him missing his mandatory meeting. But an overwhelming part of you was more than happy that you got to experience those few hours alone with him. He swears under his breath before bowing to you, shrugging apologetically and then full sprinting towards the servant quarter’s entrance. “I would take that from you,” Koska says in reference to the wet dress, “But I’m already in my ceremonial dress. I can’t get it wet. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I can manage.” You nod. The two of you begin to walk back inside, and the night time breeze runs over your wet body, making you shudder ever-so-slightly. When you get back inside, the Knight is nowhere to be seen, and there’s only a fraction of the people as there were earlier. The masks had all been moved somewhere, which let you know they finished them. A mother sat on a chair by the fireplace, nursing a small baby and three young boys who couldn’t be any older than seventeen all sat around one table playing some type of card game and eating buttered bread. They were the stable boys. The three of them stared at you when you walked in, in awe of your unparalleled beauty and the fact that you were carrying a massive, heavy, wet dress.

Koska led you down a hall adjacent to the fireplace. You could see into a few sleeping quarters. The little ones were dozing off, and in one room was a couple laughing together. The small community that existed underneath the palace was something you deeply admired. You wouldn’t have had any idea any of this was here if you hadn’t pushed for today’s events, and you truly loved it. You loved how all these people found refuge and a home here.

You wished you could, too.

Koska stops at one door, taking the wet dress out of your hands and tossing it into the room before closing the wooden door shut and progressing back down the hallway. She eventually opens up a door to a small room with a single bed and large chest.

“Is this your room?” You ask, looking around and familiarizing yourself with it. A single embroidery hoop with a half-done pattern sat on the bed, on the windowsill was a melting candle whose wax had dried in a cascading pattern on the ancient stone, and at the foot of the bed was a small table with a wash basin and hairpins.

“No, It’s my sister’s. My room is closer to the Queen’s.” She nods. You had no clue Koska had a sister. She opens up the chest and pulls out a dry under-slip and simple but pretty purple dress. It wasn’t a ballgown and had long, bell sleeves in a similar fashion to Koska’s. There was some moon and star embroidery on the bodice.

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” You said, starting to shiver a little now.

“Her name is Alva, she works in the kitchen.” She nods as she crosses over to the table, opening up a little box to pull out a horse-hair comb.

“Will she mind us using her things?”

“Well, you’re the Princess, so I hope not.” She shrugs and crosses over the room again like a madwoman, pulling a wool blanket from the chest. “Here, strip and dry off.” You look at her, confused. “Alright… I’ll turn around then.” Koska rolls her eyes and turns to face the wall. You peel off the wet slip, and use the wool material to wipe your body dry. It wasn’t nearly as soft and luxurious as the cotton robes you have five floors up, but it will do for now. You have sand everywhere, and you mean everywhere. You brush it off as best you can, hoping it doesn’t make too much of a mess for anyone to have to clean. You then pull on the dry clothes, and clear your throat when you’re done and decent.

Koska turns around and smiles. “Sit, I’ll brush your hair for you and then escort you back upstairs to see your parents.”

You had completely forgotten that they would be arriving tonight. You get a twinge of adrenaline. You’ve been so homesick, and it will be nice to see some familiar faces after such an emotional two weeks. You sit at the stool in front of the table, and Koska carefully combs out your knotted but drying hair.

“So… It looks like you two had fun.” She says. You smile and blush.

“Yes, we did.” You chuckle.

“That’s good, it’s been so long since he’s had fun. He deserves it.” She hums in response and you immediately question how they know one another so well again.

“How do you know each other?” You ask, knowing there's no harm in that.

Koska sighs, “We… used to work together in a sense. He’s a good man, an even better father.” She shrugs. So that’s four people you can think of who know about his son, You, Koska, Peli and the woman from Isla’s bar… although that situation seemed different, magical almost.

“You two never…” You trail off, not really wanting to hear the answer but not stopping yourself before you ask it anyways.

Koska laughs out loud this time, stopping the combing motion, “Oh stars, no. Never. I have someone else… and he has you.”

Your heart warms at that phrase. “Who is this ‘someone else’ you speak of?” You ask, enjoying the casual girl talk the two of you are sharing.

She hums again, “You’ve met her, she’s shorter than me and far more serious, she has a fire burning, but she’s special to me.” You can hear the smile in Koska’s tone.

You wonder who she’s talking about.

—

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