#but fuck does the acting and soundtrack more than make up for it

[valtsv]

i think that the expanse is a really good example of how good writing and a strong, passionate team of actors can make a hell of a difference to the quality of a story. the special effects are a major weak point, especially in the early seasons, and a lot of the sets and costumes are very obviously low budget and not very convincing, but the writing and acting more than carries the show and makes it possible to overlook those flaws and even find them sort of charming in their own way.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm All Over the Place, and so are the shows

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 5

Ongoing Series - Thai

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - The Jasmine flirting thing was so darn cute, I can’t. I love these two so much. 

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 2 of 10 - Oh it’s great. Flirting. Fighting. Fate. Murder. Eventually we’ll add fucking. A trifffecta. I could do with a bit less training but whatever. And we have learned our boys are laboring under a geis. NO SINGING. Otherwise this ep was actually pretty flipping great. 

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - Ooo kidnapping and the sides are suffering betrayal. Also Tew kills again. I like that they don’t shy away from the fact that he’s a killer and Guy was genuinely scared.  And then Tew had to break up with Guy to protect him in Noble Sacrifice (tm). How Cdrama of him. Rough ep all round. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - It’s not exactly good, but it’s better than I was expecting, and I tend to cut pulps a lot of slack out the gate. The plot is more interesting, Him is a sweetie (I like that in a seme) and our uke has both game and pluck. He’s a femme bitch, I LOVE that in a boy + we never get it femme in the lead. The acting is not great, sound all over the place, but there are no terrible sound effects, the soundtrack is okay, and our high heat came with a side of BJ + condoms, and no one has sung (yet), so I think I like it. It’s giving me Big Dragon vibes.

Linguistic moment: 

Him used Him/ter for pronouns & ha. Very flirty. Nail used rao back a little bit of a challenge. (No pom and didn’t use his own name either.) Gauntlet thrown. Our baby ends up with rao/kao but I don’t think that’ll stick. Him is getting Phi out of him if it's the last thing he does.

Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 2 of 6 - The characters’ shared backstory is no surprise but I do like this show. Those little private smiles as they find family. Those lingering gazes as they find romance. Lovely. Also Shin wants to marry into Peach's family so bad, I’m reminded of Laurie in Little Women. All that said, it’s never the top of my list to watch for some reason. 

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - How could I have forgotten how stunning Off is? Meanwhile… I love Gun’s character, he's so cute. But this show is a bit too comedic for me. I wish GMMTV were taking this script seriously. Sorry Neo et al I’m not sold on the sides. In general? I don’t love it. I don’t hate it either. In other news, I think I'll go make toast.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 14 - I love the sides and unholy amount and in general it was fine this week probably because I decided to do a trash watch.

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 5 of 10 - I’m getting fatigued. Also holy random sex Batman. Where did these extra sides come from? I’m confused. Tonal pingpong going on, and not just in the shower.  

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 4 of 8 - Finally a direct confession Jade can’t avoid. Will things get a bit more serious?

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - I don’t know why I watch this show, the acting is great, but it just makes me cry.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 3 of 14 eps - What a bonkers thing this is. Very kinky and also just odd. I do keep thinking about the pinks with it. Similarly, there doesn’t seem much glue holding this thing together, dried cum of course but not glue. And despite what some kinksters say, the one cannot replace the other.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Fake Love ep 15 of 24 - This is a weird installment. Too stalker and random blackmail for me. But not as bad as abuse and death, I guess? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - Not much of a love triangle in the end (you just found out he is actually gay and broken hearted = an opportunity not a tragedy). Meanwhile I like that the high school break up was just mr insomniac's fault. He got jealous and angry and petty. No miscommunication just an asshole kid. I did find this show a little slow, even though it was your standard length KBL. Odd that. They are very cute boyfriends tho. 

All in all:

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it. 8/10

VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - It has the feel of a one act, with such a limited cast and location, which reminds me of KBL. Still watching these two quietly fall in love and process affection through their own art forms is sweet. This is a very soft gentle show. 

Sahara-sensei to Toki-kun (Japan Fri Gaga) - Toki, a delinquent but pure-hearted kid falls in love with his handsome phys-ed teacher, Sahara. This is very much my trope but very manga campy, which I don’t love. I’m quite torn. Toki is an idiot but a lovable one. But do I like it?

It's Airing But...

The Whisperer (Sun ????) 10 eps - Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even dimples can motivate me to watch. You can tell me how this goes if you can find it.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off. If told it's good, I'll binge.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 10 eps - Giving me Luminous Solution vibes, so I'm waiting to binge if told it's safe.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed with ep 1. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

In case you missed it

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) finished. Adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who (nearly) dies and ends up cohabitating with an angel. I was warned that the ending would not work for me so I decided not to bother.

My Biker BL short movie from Wayu supposedly premiered Nov 27 on their YouTube Channel for Members to watch. I couldn't find anything further. The MDL description makes me think it's not for me so I bother.

Next Week Looks Like This

Short list of the December offerings.

12/9 Cherry Magic (Thai remake) YouTube 10 eps

12/9 Behind the Shadows (Korea movie) ??

12/14 Dear Kitakyushu (Thai/Japan movie) ??

12/23 Dead Friend Forever (Thai horror) iQIYI

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED). With the end of the year upon us I'll do an "announced for 2023 but never happened list" soon.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love these dudes so much, and make no mistake they def dudes. On point banter, my dudes. (Sign)

Yes they are cute but so far that's all this show has going for it. (Middleman's Love)

I'm a simple human, I just like seeing Off kneeing. (Cooking Crush)

(Last week)

[swifty-fox]

What did you think of The Bikeriders?

omg Im a lilll drunk so.

SPOILER FREE REVIEW:

I honestly think its the best movie I've seen since Green Knight. The sound design is phenomenal, the soundtrack is deeply immersive. I think (not sure) they used real film so it had that lovely 60's grain and bloom that made me feel like I was watching a documentary more than anything else. I think the plot was clear and concise and enjoyable without being overcomplicated or trying to make any sort of broad statements. It knew what it was and it did it well.

Jodie Comer/Kathy was PHENOMINAL!!! She was funny qitty, she made me Feel like she was a 60's housewife in Chicago. The accent was flawless, her hair and wardrobe reminded me of my grandma (in the best sort of way) and you really feel for her and connect with her the entire time. Her facial expressions had me laughing several times.

Tom Hardy/Johnny was wonderful of course, it's Tom hardy. he nails the accent, honestly everybody did. And like. It's Tom Hardy man. He acts like he wants to fuck whoever he's talking to its his signature. but he plays the sensitive biker so well, he was great in every scene he was in and It felt like watching an aging lion with his pride. This bittersweet melancholy colored with utmost respect. i won't give spoilers but once you watch it you'll understand.

Norman Reedus/Sonny!!!!! he wasnt in it a ton but he CRUSHED every scene he was in I was cracking up every time he opened his mouth you could just tell he was having a blast playing an absolute Bum. He's not hugely important to the plot but he was just a delight to watch.

Austin Butler/Benny was just....beautiful. It won't make sense until you watch it but he doesn't exist. but he does. but he also doesn't. He's a real man but he's symbolic of the biker spirit. We know nothing about him but we come to understand him so well. he's a tomcat who desperately wants you to scratch his head, and then he's a prize thoroughbred who will run until its heart gives out if given the chance and he wouldn't choose to be any other way. he has very few speaking lines but he OWNS every scene he's in. He's got all the sex appeal of Marlon Brando and all the bad boy charisma od James Dean. but jesus christ give this man a shower and some clean clothes. He's. hot. He's vulnerable. he's unkillable because he's a mythological figure more than a man. he takes a role that could have been deeply 2D and makes it something DELICIOUS.

My only complaint is sometimes it was hard to hear lines over the background noise/the motorcycle engines.

[amuseoffyre]

Have had a couple of days and a rewatch and some mulling to put together my thoughts:

The good:

the writing - I've talked at length about the use of metaphor, symbolism, allegory and the like to add meat and substance to the narrative

the continuity tied in to S1 and the foreshadowing coming full circle, plus running themes continuing

the music is flawless throughout - both the soundtrack with songs and the original score and the way old motifs are used to add parallels and depth to scenes

the acting across the board has been staggeringly good. Especially for Taika, Rhys and Con. I can see why so many reviews had been raving about it.

the bits of set-up for S3 that have been planted if/when they get it

new characters who are an absolute delight

Family Trauma the TV show - intense to watch but cathartic af

Badass ladies and the soft boys who love them

Auntie.

The bad:

too much story and not enough time to tell it

sacrificing a lot of crew-related stuff - I know this is primarily the Ed and Stede story, but we're told that Olu was always talking about Zheng, but we never even got a single line of it. Buttons' disappearance gets one sus line. We gloss over the probation and why Ed is back in his leathers literally the next day. Again, I know, time constraints, but it does feel weaker for it.

speedrunning so much that it's taken several rewatches to catch everything that's going on - yes, it can work as a narrative device, but not all the time

still not over Zheng falling for Ricky's gift. Do not trust the aristocratic white dude, especially not when you've been blackmailing him. And I know there's some logical sense to her being so used to being able to manipulate desperate people on the fringes with both carrot and stick, but it feels like severe underestimation on her part about how ruthless and cruel and petty Ricky could be. He's not like the pirates - he has the power and privilege and it feels like she ignored that.

whatever that Teal Oranges pivot was so Jim could have a girlfriend, especially since they didn't have time/space to actually develop the Olu/Zheng and Jim/Archie stuff. Archie was barely a scrape of characterisation because of time constraints.

The ... Forbs Boding

Izzy - it falls under the typical archetype of Loss of a Role Model especially given all Ed's dad issues, which I thought we were beyond, but then it also fits with the running motif of the show of change, death and rebirth. We've had confirmation of the existence of a place between life and death plus a character who was beaten to death coming back from it and a seawitch turning up at the grave. I can see why it was done as it has been foreshadowed since "the only retirement we get is death" but after all his growth in S2, having Ricky be the one to get the jump on him is... hm. I feel like they had him and Ricky talking and Ricky causing his death for a reason. Feels like there's set-up for S3 planted and ready. My Forbs, they are A-Boding. ffs, they Obi-Wanned him right after he did a speech about "our spirit will last beyond your whole fucking empire". Strike me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine vibes.

The way trauma is/isn't being dealt with - I feel like there's stuff there that is set up for S3 as well, because we've seen how Stede is still bottling all his stuff and hasn't dealt with any of it, while Ed has done some processing and started to make peace with himself over it. Stede still has his mental lockbox and while he tries to pretend it isn't there, it still informs so many of his decisions.

All the Star Wars vibes - I've always been convinced this was the Empire Strikes Back season and now, they have all the pieces in play for the Return of the Jedi arc: Stede and Ed are together and recovering but will have a role to play, Izzy is in carbonite with a seawitch control panel, their allies are out there getting pieces in place, and the Imperial figurehead villain who showed up in S2 is still out there and convinced he holds all the power. And I just realised that this means that if they use Hornigold, he's the equivalent of Boba Fett - Bounty Hunter for the Empire XD

On the whole, I am content with it and am already having thoughts about the potential for S3, but I find it incredibly frustrating knowing how much more it could have been with the budget/time they wanted and didn't get.

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #12] An Agreement

warnings: THE BALL IS ROLLING! solo masturbation that is, on a technicality, mutual masturbation (soulmate behaviour!). plot is also plotting! artist!tae is doing thingggssss. jk is getting bold! and sexy!

soundtrack: fuxxin’ love (2019) - OoOo

wc: 7.4k

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

minors dni | AO3 | series masterlist 

There's a lingering silence as Jeongguk sits across from you on his bed. You're both crossed-legged, looking at the unfolded bird between you. His back is perfectly straight, posture pristine as always, but yours is a little more slumped. In all honesty, you just want to stop looking at the words written down on the paper, but it's like watching a car crash in slow motion. You can't look away.

His curtains are drawn shut. It's a change to his normal set-up - but the sun has already risen. If either of you stand any chance of sleeping, they need to be closed. The lamp on his bedside table currently illuminates you both, a warm glow only adding to the intoxicated haze you're still looking at the world through.

"Okay, so I think our birds are quite different," Jeongguk finally says. His voice is contemplative, but then he laughs. The lamplight catches in his eyes. He's serene. "Byeol, what the fuck?"

You groan and flop down onto his bed, nose nestling into his ever-freshly laundered sheets. "I didn't know we'd ever be reading them!"

Since the first bird fell, you've known that agreeing to share them was a mistake, but you had also forgotten just how many of your birds had been plagued by your desire for a sex life that didn't feel so tragic these days. 

Jeongguk leans a little forward, outstretching his arm to ruffle at your freshly bleached hair. He still hasn't mentioned it, and you find it odd. Had expected at least a remark regarding the fact it had changed, but instead he's simply acting as if that's how it's always been.

Anyone who does mention it has their compliments dismissed, with you insisting on pointing out just how patchy it is, so at least it saves making even more self-deprecating comments.

"I think we should veto it," you mumble into his duvet.

Frankly, Jeongguk is amused by it all.  He's also still got some of those tequila slammers in his bloodstream, which makes him throw caution to the wind a little more than usual. "Your choice, Byeol."

You huff, forcing yourself back up to face him. The origami paper stares at you. Is screaming. 

It's partially your fault for choosing to write your birds in full capital letters. Jeongguk had written his like a normal human being, and they feel far less confrontational. 

"It's an interesting one," he notes, before reading it out loud: "Mutual masturbation. The four exclamation points really add a certain... je ne sais quoi."

"Oh my god, shut up," you whine. "I was just thinking of the most intimate things you could do with a person, yanno?"

"And you chose mutual masturbation?" Jeongguk holds back a laugh. Doesn't hold it very well. Splutters one out regardless.

"Well, yeah?" You furrow your brows together, confused by the fact he doesn't deem it to be the height of intimacy. You think it's potentially the most vulnerable you can be with another person. "Getting off is so... personal. Doing exactly what you like... I don't think anyone's ever seen me... yanno?"

"No, I don't know," Jeongguk taunts, a cocky smirk gracing his pretty lips. You decide that alcohol is the worst thing to have ever happened to him. "No one has ever seen you what, Byeol?"

"You know what."

"No, I don't," he shrugs. "I don't know how you touch yourself."

You bury your head back into his duvet. "Oh my god, shut the fuck up. This one - this bird - is vetoed. We're not doing it. You never saw it."

Your ears are as pink as your cheeks, embarrassment taking hold of your features. It's really not like you to be bothered about such things, but the fact that Jeongguk's birds are all so.... innocent has you feeling a little mortified.

"Since when have you been such a prude, Byeol?!"

"I'm not! You're just... you." The way you say it - with such disgust - is exactly why he's winding you up. He doesn't expect the bird to be carried out. It's just funny to watch you squirm. "I'm not discussing my vagina with you."

"Is that not what friends are for?"

"No."

"Bet you'd discuss it with Danbi."

"Yeah, because I can trust her not to get a boner," you huff, sitting back up to face him. He's got the stupidest grin on his face, and even though you're trying to seem annoyed, he can tell that you're fighting one too. It's in the way your lips are twitching ever so slightly, brows easing from their furrowed state.

"I'm very capable of not getting a boner," he protests, but you don't care.  Just tell him to go to bed. You've got shit to do in the morning after you've slept the alcohol off. A job to get to in the afternoon. Can't be up all night.

He laughs to himself for a little while in the sanctuary of his pillow swamp. You tell him to shut up, and throw one of his pillows at him. Jeongguk just simply tosses it back up to you. Tells you goodnight and settles into a comfortable position. 

'Because I can trust her not to get a boner'.

Now that he's thinking about it, he's a little offended. He quite literally showered with you earlier and showed not even a hint of getting a hard-on. 

Then again, he wasn't actually facing you. Had refused to let himself think of what you'd look like half-naked under a stream of running water. Had focused his mind entirely on the grout between the tiles, considering whether or not it would look better grey instead of white.

Truth be told, he probably wouldn't have gotten hard anyways. Was too nervous. Scared of doing or saying the wrong thing. Scared that you'd reject his offer. It's not like he was getting anything out of it - it really had been to help ease you into the idea of sharing a shower not being absolutely terrifying to you - but rejection is never nice in any capacity. 

You shuffle beneath his sheets and sigh in such a way that he's almost positive you're asleep. Strange enigma of a woman, he thinks as he smiles to himself. You're so mild-mannered and peaceful in one moment, then causing chaos in the next.

He's glad to have you around. Glad that Jimin was a little crap in bed. Glad that you didn't want to hang out with Jimin all the time instead of him. Glad. Just glad.

But then his mind starts to wander. Starts thinking about what could have happened if he had gotten a boner. Would you really be that repulsed?

He shakes his head. Tries to rid himself of the thought. It's completely inappropriate. The time spent together beneath the cascading water of his shower had been such a vulnerable moment for you. He's thinking about it as his cock is getting hard. It's so wrong. He feels like a shitty friend. 

Palming at his crotch, Jeongguk tries to stop the chain reaction that is happening. It's fruitless though.  The contact only makes it worse.

Jeongguk says nothing as he gets to his feet and excuses himself from his room. He can't think straight. Decides the alcohol is at fault - but as he looks in his bathroom mirror, he can't help but curse.

There's no denying how hard he is. Not even a little firm. He's solid.

"Fuck," he groans, resting his palms on the counter, hanging his head between his shoulders. He shakes it. Knows that his current predicament is just circumstantial.

It's not that he actively thinks about you in that capacity, but the conversation you'd been engaged in has his mind wondering. Has him thinking about what the realities of the vetoed bird could look like. The way you'd close your eyes. The way you'd moan. The movements of your body; the squirm of your hips. The scent. The taste.

One of his hands drops from the counter. Palms at his crotch. Dips into the waistband of his boxers. "Shit."

He can't picture anything. Not really. He's never seen you in that capacity, so it's a little hard to imagine it - but he can seem to imagine the sensation seeing it would make him feel. How he'd get a little breathless. How he'd watch you as you watched him. He thinks about your eyes. Thinks about your glitter. Thinks about how it would shine with every movement of your body.

He untucks from his boxers, and strokes gently. Once, twice. "Fuck." Three times. A fourth.

There's a tightening in his chest, as if his logical mind is trying to make him stop. He pulls at his cock, bringing himself closer and closer to release. Once he cums, it will be fine. Just pent-up frustration. He wouldn't even be thinking about you like this if he wasn't clearly horny. He probably could have gotten laid tonight had he not drawn himself away from the girl in the club. 

That's it, he decides. That's what this is. Just a misplaced need for release.

It's a shame he doesn't know how restless you are beneath his sheets. How your hand crept down your body the moment he left the room; mind plagued with the idea of getting off with him. How you toy with your exposed pussy, wearing only his shirt.

You know you shouldn't. You're in Jeongguk's bed. He has to sleep in here. His sheets smell like him. 

Yet as you tell yourself no, it's the reasons why you should stop that seem to spur you on more. It does smell like Jeongguk. Smells like safety. If that isn't the best environment to get yourself off in, then what is?

You think about his back, and then you think about his arms wrapped around you and - "fuck" - it's not even the idea of him that's getting you wet; it's the idea of safety. Yes, it was his arms, but it's not the fact they're his which have you feeling this way; it's the fact you know they wouldn't drop you. And even if they did? You'd not be falling from some great height.

Realigning your mind, you let your mind wander to where it usually does in the early hours of the morning; Seokjin's kitchen, and the time he took you from behind when you'd been making dinner. 

It's your failsafe. Always gets you off remembering it. You think of his hands - strong, wide - and how they'd gripped at your waist. You think of his lips - soft, plump - against your throat. You're thinking of the view across the city from his apartment. Thinking about the way he'd turned you around; carried you to it. 

His apartment had been in a high-rise in the heart of the city. Not too far from Jeongguk's, actually. The windows spanned the entire wall, and you'd always been envious of the fact he got to wake up to it on the daily. 

He'd put you down; turned you back around to face it. Had stripped you of your clothes. Pressed you against the window. Fucked his cock into you with such aggression that it almost seemed as if he wanted the glass to break. Fucked you so well that when you came, it felt like you were freefalling, even with the glass intact.

It's thinking about that orgasm that always gets your pussy clenching around your toys at home - but you're without them, and your hands just aren't doing the trick. Your brain jumps from thought to thought. Lands on the reason why you don't have your toys: you're at Jeongguk's place. And then, because it's just as annoying as you are,  your head is just ribbiting his name at you. 

"Go away," you whine, but continue to play with your clit regardless. You're so close.. "Just let me finish."

And it's funny, 'cause Jeongguk's in his bathroom looking at the mess in the sink with a face of pure disgust. It's not the fact he got himself off that bothers him. Not the fact he whined a little too loud when he did so. Nothing like that at all.

It's that he'd been trying to think about the kiss he'd had that evening - the smell of her perfume, the softness of her lips - wanting it to be in his head when he came. He grew closer, and closer, and then - "oh, fuck" - why are you there? Why is he thinking about your gaze from the bar? And why is it that his brain always locks into one singular thought whenever he cums?

He just really hopes you didn't hear him curse out your name as he did so.

But you didn't. Were too busy having your own dilemma - one of which you're only just coming back down from when Jeongguk re-enters the room. You wonder if he'll know. Wonder if he'll be able to smell your arousal. Wonder if he'll even figure out that's what the scent is.

Neither of you greets the other. He just gets back into his little pile of pillows. It's kind of funny. If weren't so paranoid about him knowing, you'd make a joke of it. Doesn't feel very funny, now.

Silence consumes the room. You don't even know if he knows you're awake. It's so awkward you quite literally wanted to shrivel up and die.

Okay, so you're being dramatic, but it really does feel that catastrophic to you. As if irrevocable damage has been done. As if you've ruined the friendship all by yourself - but then it has you thinking. He'd been gone for just the right amount of time for you to draw a release from yourself. It wasn't long, but it wasn't entirely speedy, either.

Jeongguk shuffles. Lies on his back. Hands linked over his stomach.

"Gguk..." Your voice whispers into the darkness.

"Mhmm?"

He sounds sleepy. Sounds well spent. You know you'll regret it, but you just kind of have to know.

"Did you... just..."

He pauses. Takes a deep breath. Finishes your sentence for you. "Get myself off?"

"Mhmm."

There's silence. It lasts no longer than a few seconds, but it feels like a lifetime to you.

"You want me to lie?" He asks, clearly wanting to avoid the truth.

"Depends on what the lie would be."

Silence resumes. Is broken with a sigh.

"No," he says - and then he clarifies. "'No' would be the lie."

You nod, understanding exactly what he means, crown of your head patting against his pillow.

And yet still, you push. You want a clear answer.

"In that case," you say a little shakily. "I'd like the truth."

"Okay," he replies, voice much stronger than yours. " Ask me again. Full-sentence. None of that trailing-off bullshit you do. If you want a direct answer, give me a direct question."

And so you do.

"Did you just get yourself off?"

"Yes."

Fuck.

"Me too."

He laughs. Feels a weight ease. Can't fight the smile that's beaming even in a dark room. What a fucking relief. "Did we just... do your bird?"

And then you're laughing too at how fucking ridiculous the situation is. "In a way."

A peaceful quietness settles over the pair of you. Calmness. Contentedness. You're on a level playing field.

"Hey Gguk," you say after a moment.

"What now?" He moans, but you know he's smiling.

"What were you thinking about?"

And then rather suddenly he decides, "That's enough of this conversation. Night, Byeol."

"Oh my god, no," you protest, sitting up in his bed to look in his direction. The low-light level obscures him, but it doesn't matter. "What were you thinking about?"

"Byeol," he scolds. 

Although, in a way, it's kind of the answer.

"Jeongguk," you scold right back.

"Wasn't thinking about anything. Go to sleep."

His denial is a silent scream. You think you know. Think it's fucking hilarious.

"Were you thinking about me?"

"No," he lies. "It'd make me go soft - hey!" Jeongguk laughs as one of the pillows from his bed smacks against his face. "Well, were you thinking about me?" He banters back.

You laugh. "You forget I've fucked your housemate."

"OUCH."

You smile, all rather pleased with yourself, knowing it will play on his mind. Good. Serve him right for being a petulant little shit. "Night, Gguk."

"Have nightmares," he says, and you just continue grinning as you snuggle up in his sheets.

"Already living one."

You don't discuss the night before when you're getting ready to leave a few hours later. You've work in the afternoon, and really want a proper shower at your own place before you rock up with blue poster paint still down your neck.

Jeongguk feigns a hangover worse than it actually is. Says shit like, "I barely remember it," just so that you won't ask questions about why exactly he felt the need to excuse himself to the bathroom. 

He's not even really entirely sure why he did it. Obviously, he knows it's because he got himself too excited, just not why he got so excited. Just knows that he needs to figure out what's going on himself before he can breach the topic of conversation with you again.

You tell him you had a good night, and he says the same. It was nice for him to be out with you for once, instead of being an outsider looking in.

When you arrive at work that afternoon, Hoseok is tapping at his wrist. "What time do you call this?"

You roll your eyes, but your smile is warm. "Time you got a watch. How many painters we got in?"

"Full house," he says. "Only a few more prebooks for the rest of the day, though. No one booked in after eight, at least."

You ask him about his day, and let him babble on as you set about cleaning up the palettes he left for you to clear. He's been in work since midday, so has had to work through the heavy flow of customers coming in and out. Still wet, the chalky alkaline scent of the paint takes you back to the night before.

Has you thinking about Jeongguk; his toned back, and the rivulet of green-tainted water you'd watched run down it. Funny, how he'd been hues of blue - cerulean strands of hair, emerald caught under the ridge of his jaw - whereas you'd been a peachy daydream, pinks on your skin to match your lips.

The palettes turn the sink water a murky brown. Looks a little like dirt. You wonder if that's what the hues of you and Jeongguk would make together. Decide it's a good job you'll never find out.

But daisies push through dirt, you consider. There could be growth there. 

You let the water drain out, and rinse the boards off a final time, before you get to work on the brushes. Hosoek is greeting customers - "I love it. That shade of blue? Perfect. Come again soon!" - leaving you to your own devices, until a deep voice pulls your attention from the canvases you're organising. 

"I'm actually here to enquire about using the gallery space for a sho- oh. Hey," the owner of the voice says as he spots your eyes on him. 

Talk, dark and handsome, Kim Taehyung looks even better in the daylight. 

Dressed down in a white shirt and a pair of slacks, he's unassuming, but a frame like his commands attention. How Danbi is able to resist, you'll never know. Half think that maybe it would've been better if he'd been the one to have first caught your eye in Dionysus - but you're sure if Jimin was here instead, you'd be marvelling at how you'd landed someone as ethereal as him. The curse of attractive boys.

"Hey," you smile as you wipe your hands on a slightly paint-stained cloth. You whip it over your shoulder, and Taheyung smiles back. He wonders if that was something you did before you met Jeongguk, or if he's rubbing off on you. "Watcha doin' here?"

"Bit of a strange request, actually," he prefaces. "I'm looking for gallery space."

"Gallery space?" You question, reaching over for the thick diary kept behind the desk. You keep your eyes on his as he awkwardly begins to explain, pulling the diary pencil from the pages it's currently lodged between.

"Yeah. I'm looking to exhibit some of my work - a few artist's works, actually. All local." He holds up a black folder and taps it. You reach out your hand to receive it, and pass the diary over to Hoseok. "It's all in here. Concepts, artists, pieces. Even pre-written a press release for you."

You flick through the pages of the folder. It's typical of artists who request to use the space to provide you with something like this, but you can really see the care put into it. It's a collection he's curated, with the intent of finally getting his name out there in the art world.

The title page is a singular word: Requited.

"It's a study on the conflicting meanings of the word," Taehyung explains, and you can see what he means instantly. Many of the pieces photographed in the exhibition pre-guide are dark - reds, deep browns. Passionate. "To avenge; to love."

You nod, flicking through the pages, still. It's an impressive collection, and you recognise one of the art styles from an account you follow on Instagram. "Why here?"

Taehyung grits his teeth together in a way that you just know means a lie is coming. "We want our work to be shown in a place that emulates the feeling of creation - we could host workshops during the exhibition period. Runs promotions with you, help-"

"Cut the bullshit," you grin. "C'mon. This is a solid collection. Solid pitch. The folder, at least, your delivery could use a little work-"

"Hey, I'm only acting relaxed 'cause I know what you look like after one too many drinks."

"You want to exhibit here or not?" You tease.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He laughs, holding his hands out, but not reaching over to touch you. "Honestly? The bigger galleries have dismissed us. I think they're holding out for bigger collections, and the smaller galleries are booked up till Christmas."

"You're trying to get in before the end of the year?"

"Ideally, yeah," Taehyung nods, a little apprehensively as Hoseok hands you back the diary. You swap, and he flicks through Taehyung's folder, nodding in appreciation. "End of October, start of November."

"Hoping for holiday sales?" You ask, to which he nods again.

"If we're at the start of the season, hopefully we'll be the one that buyers come back to," he explains. "And I meant what I said about the workshops. Your peak must be the winter months, right? People looking for something to do indoors?"

You nod. You've actively been enjoying the summer lull. Aren't looking forward to the upcoming season - at work, at least. You love autumn in your own time.

"We could host events," Taheyung suggests. "Charge a little more than usual for guided workshops. You could get a nice Christmas bonus."

It's not a bad idea by any stretch of the imagination, and if the boss agrees to it, it could actually make the upcoming busy season a lot more bearable for you if it's more structured. 

"If it were up to me, I'd say yes," you tell him. His eyes light up like embers from a smoking fire, but they simmer quickly. He knows it isn't up to you. "Is it okay if we hold onto your folder? See what the boss says?"

He nods like one of those dog figurines your grandfather used to keep on his windowsills. His enthusiasm is sweet, and you hope that your boss is just as keen as you are.

"How long until you know, do you think?"

"Give us a week, maybe?" You say. "There's space in the diary between events at the start of November. Hopefully, if I structure a plan, make it easy for my boss, there'll be no reason to say no."

"You're a legend," he beams.

"Don't speak too soon," you remind him. "Still gotta get approval first."

"I know, I know," he nods. "You guys are the first place that's actually given us a look in, though. When Jeongguk suggested here, I kind-"

"He suggested this place?" You smile a little bemused.

"Yeah," Tae confirms. "Didn't say you worked here, though."

"Well," you say with a scrunch of your nose. "I do. Surprise."

The biggest surprise, you think, is that Jeongguk remembers.

"I'm glad you do, though. Feels like the collection will be in safe hands."

You know that he's mostly glad because it means the chances of Danbi coming to the exhibition will rise quite significantly, but you're not well-acquainted enough yet to tease him like that, so you just smile.

"I'll let you know, okay? I can give the folder back to Jeongguk for him to pass on if I don't see you before the end of next week."

Taehyung doesn't question it, but Hoseok glances over, eyes a little narrow. He knows there's something going on there. Just isn't sure what.

"Legend," Taehyung says again despite your previous protests. "You're the best, Disco Ball."

"Stop calling me that!" You call after him to no avail. 

He just waves back and heads out the door, into the afternoon sun. You tuck the folder beneath the diary and put it into the desk organiser that the boss always checks, before scribbling out a post-it note to explain. 

Their presence in the cafe is so infrequent that you never know when they'll next be in, and you worry that you'll miss it. Sure, you could just leave it in the hands of Hoseok, but you don't entirely trust him to relay all the important information.

He clocks out just after seven, leaving you to deal with the wind-down of the day shift. It's been quiet, only a handful of customers coming in throughout the evening. The last couple in - teenagers on a first date, by the look of things - leave at nine. It's perfect timing, as the last entry is also at nine, meaning you don't have to worry about any latecomers staying till eleven. You can close up early, which is always a dream - especially on the shifts after a night out. The sooner you can snuggle into your own bed, the better.

It's not that you don't like Jeongguk's bed. His mattress is perfectly firm, and his pillows really are to die for. It's just that nothing compares to home.

The closing routine is more work than you really care for. Restocking, cleaning, making sure everything is operational for an easy opening in the morning. 

Occasionally, you'll work a morning shift and spend the entire time finishing off jobs that staff from the night before neglected to do. It pisses you off. You've been known to leave passive-aggressive post-it notes on occasion. Always signed with a  smiley face and a kiss. Hoseok tells you that one of the other girls is gonna bitch slap you one day. You tell him good - would like to see her try. But what's a shitty job without a little drama?

It's as you're thinking about this potential conflict that your very real source of contention shows up at the door. He's dressed down, wearing a jacket that looks big enough to fit his entire friendship group within it, and a black baseball cap to hide the fact he hasn't styled his hair. 

There's something nice about seeing him like this - you so often get him in the gym, or at work - that it's pleasant to see Jeon Jeongguk as a normal person. See him as other people do.

You won't clue him in on this, though.

"Last entry was twenty minutes ago, Jeon."

The grin on his face as he leans against the door frame is something he's unable to hide - and why would he? There's no need to play games. Not here. Not with you. "Ouch, last name basis? What have I done?"

"Nothing," you say and smile back. He really hasn't - you're just trying to create distance. Reinstate boundaries that had been made a little blurry. "What brings you here?"

As he walks into the room - uninvited, you may add - he looks thoughtful, eyes all wide and inquisitive. He's never visited your place of work before. You've seen his workplace what feels like a hundred times over, so it's nice for him to finally have a visual of yours. 

He won't mention that Taehyung talking about your workplace had made him curious.

It's not what he expected. For starters, he imagined there'd be far more mess - though he does notice the cleaning cloth in your hand, and how it's saturated in all shades of acrylic, so perhaps you're just diligent. 

Up two flights of stairs, the cafe occupies the top unit of a commercial building. There's a hairdresser on the floor below and a deli on the floor below that, so the entryway normally either smells like peroxide or pepperoni - no in between. Occasionally it smells like paint, too, but it's a far less intrusive scent. 

The walls are covered in canvases - ones left by customers, prints of famous works, offerings by local artists. Easels are scattered around the room, set up in pairs with small tables for the art supplies between them. Jeongguk decides very quickly which spot he likes most - the easels by the window in the far corner. Thinks if he ever took a girl here on a date, that's where he'd like to sit.

Then again, he won't be doing that anytime soon - not unless one of those damn birds tells him to.

You follow his gaze to the window seats and smile. 

It's your favourite spot. S'why there's a cushion on the chair. It's for you. You sit there on your break with a book when it's quiet.

"Nothing," he says, but pulls a piece of carefully folded paper from his back pocket and tosses it down onto the counter. You glance down at it. Another fucking bird. Can see the wings don't line up. Say nothing, but slowly look back up at him. "Well, this has something to do with it. Fell while I was at the gym. Was waiting for me when I got home."

You nod. Run your tongue along your teeth as your lips purse. It's barely been half a day since the last. Hardly fair.

"Have you read it?" You ask, moving behind the counter. You're creating distance all over again. Jeongguk notices. Creates his own by retreating to one of the waiting room stools, where he takes a perch.

It's gotta be a big one. He wouldn't be here if he wasn't.

He sits, hands between his legs. Seems a little agitated. Doesn't seem quite himself. "One of yours." 

But then his posture eases. He sighs. Pulls a second bird from his jacket pocket, and holds it up. "One of mine..." he opens it. Bites his bottom lip as a laugh exhales, his eyes skimming over it. With a shake of his head, he reads it aloud: "Suggest an idea you know will get rejected."

He lingers on the final syllable, but then casts his eyes up to yours. The way he stares, so piercing and domineering is an absolute head fuck. He can be so soft and gentle in one moment, then completely unrecognisable in the next. It's what has your voice so quiet as you finally give a reply.

"And have you?"

Wouldn't be here if he had, you think. Stupid question.

He confirms this.

"I'm about to."

And for some reason, it has you smirking. Heartbeat racing. 

That's the thing about Jeongguk: he's unpredictable. 

You had heard from Yoongi the night before that he's started acting out of character, though in a way, it's apparently reminiscent of his 'old self'. You can't say definitely because you never knew him before he was broken, but it feels like perhaps he's healing.

"I'm intrigued," you tell him, which doesn't earn the smile you think it will.

In fact, he looks deadly serious as he says, "Promise me something?"

You're tepid as you nod. It's a no-brainer - of course you'll make a promise with him - but you can't help but be fearful of why you'd need to promise anything ahead of time. Does he not trust you?

He looks to his feet, where the toes of his right foot are perched up on the toes of his left. He's in his hightops again following a stint at the laundrette to tumble dry them. Behind the counter, so are you. "You'll hear me out first?"

"Of course I will."

"You and I..." he begins slowly. "Our friendship is good, right?"

You nod. Stupid question. "Right."

"And it's just friendship, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah?" You half-laugh. Still haven't discussed the events of last night yet.

And then almost out of the blue, Jeongguk decides to really reinforce the broken boundaries.

"You fucked Jimin."

The way you cringe is borderline insane; face all scrunched up, cheeks flaming red. It was just sex. You don't know why Jeongguk mentioning it seems to bother you so much. 

"Thanks for the reminder, yep," you say through gritted teeth. "I did fuck Jimin."

Still, it's not like it's the worst fuck you've ever had. There's just room for improvement. Maybe he'll redeem himself one day.

"And we're both completely emotionally unavailable?"

"Speak for yourself."

"Byeol," he smirks, amused by how often you seem to talk out of your ass. Conversations are never straightforward with you. Not entirely.

"Okay, okay!" You relent with a firm roll of your eyes. "I'm a little emotionally unavailable."

"Thanks for admitting it," he says, choosing not the question the 'a little'. You both know it should be 'completely'. "I have a question. A question before I make my suggestion."

"Go on.." you hesitate. 

"The birds. Are the birds helping?"

"With?"

"Your intimacy issues. Like say you hooked up with a randomer tomorrow, would you be able to think clearly if they suggested a shower?"

It's a good question. One that you really don't know the answer to. 

"Maybe?" you say, voice a little higher than typical. "My heart rate definitely feels a lot lower than it normally does when I consider it."

It's not a lie. Normally your hands would feel a little itchy, but you've barely broken a sweat.  You are, admittedly, thinking about the shower with Jeongguk, and how platonic it had been - but maybe that's exactly it. Maybe equating these big moments to nothing scarier than friendship is what helped.

"Okay, that's good," he replies before taking a second to gather his thoughts. "The birds... They're helping me. I never would have gotten that girl's number without them. Without you."

"You're welcome, Cassanova."

"And I'm thankful," he smiles, and you can almost feel his sincerity. "I really am. Been chasing my tail for far too long."

This admission silently delights you. It's rewarding to help someone through their healing process, no matter how large or small. To be included at all is an honour.

"So?" You lean your elbows on the counter. "Your suggestion?"

He sighs. As uncomplicated as he finds your company, he still doesn't find any of this easy. There's a massive mental hurdle for him to overcome.

You get it. You really do. Even though your troubles are different, they still come from the same place. They're matters of the heart, and they're by far the hardest things to untangle yourself from. Seokjin's still got a grasp on your puppet strings, and Jeongguk's former fling still has a hold on his, it would seem.

"Hey," you smile. Jeongguk thinks you look warm. Homely. "Nothing to be scared of. Just me. Just us."

His brows furrow and ease all within the same second. He knows those words. Knows he used similar ones on you the night before. Perhaps he really should start listening to his own advice, because it's just what he needed to hear.

"I think... I think maybe we should just...," he pauses. Looks to his hands and then back up to you. "Say fuck it?"

You grin, bemused. "Fuck it?"

It's not an instant yes. Jeongguk can't blame you for it - but it just reminds him that he has to be specific. He'd grated you about that last night, too. He can't be a hypocrite now.

"Okay, so... The birds, right?" He asks, but he isn't really asking anything. Just forming his words. Still, you nod. Encourage him to go on. "Whenever they fall, we're always like 'oh fuck,' right?"

 Again, you nod. 

"I just... I think the only reason we're hesitant to do your birds is 'cause we think we shouldn't do them. Like we think it will be a recipe for disaster... But... why? It's not like there are any confused feelings or ulterior motives. If I did your birds with you, I wouldn't be doing anything for like... my own gain? Just like you aren't with mine."

You stop yourself from interrupting. He's clearly struggling to form the words, eyes darting to his hands every time he catches your gaze.

"I know, I know," he rambles on. "You shouldn't fuck your friends. Shouldn't shit where you eat. But it's not fucking for the sake of fucking - and like, honestly, I don't actually know if any of your birds include fucking-"

"They do."

"Okay, brilliant, so they do," he laughs. Somehow a weight seems to ease. If anything, that admission should add more pressure. "It doesn't matter. Look all I'm saying is that I'm okay to do your birds, no matter how obscure they get. If that means me getting you used to sharing a shower with someone, so be it. It doesn't have to be sexual, even if the end goal will be used in that capacity."

You understand the sentiment, but there's one undeniable; your birds are all about sex.

"Gguk, I wrote some pretty..." You pause. It's your turn to struggle, now. "How do I say this? ...Intimate things on my birds."

"Fear of intimacy," he nods, and then he smirks. "I know. I'm not naive to what that entails. I know I'm a boy, but give me some credit, Byeol."

"Sorry."

The smiles you exchange are delightfully insolent, just like the make-believe fairies you imagine are dancing around you right now, tickling at your skin with miniature wee pinches just to get you giggling. So childish of the pair of you to behave this way in such a serious conversation.

"What I mean is that it's being done with a purpose. It's not just sex for the sake of sex, or whatever it may be," he says. "Like if I'm fucking you, it's not fucking. It'd be like... therapy?"

"I think you'd get fired if you were my therapist," you grin. "It's so weird hearing you talk about sex knowing that you're talking about having sex with me." 

It really is all a bit strange.

"But that's the beauty of it. The stakes are at zero. There's no worry of disappointment, no worry of getting heartbroken, no worry of anything that could go wrong - the birds tell us what to do, we do it," he explains, finally able to get his words out. "And look - I won't lie - I've been out of practice for a while, so it'd probably help with my confidence, too."

You scrunch your nose a little. "That doesn't fill me with hope for your skills."

He rolls his eyes. "It's not about my skill level, Byeol. That's beyond the point. It's about your association with sex and intimacy. If we can separate your association with certain sexual acts from intimacy, then they'll seem a lot less daunting in future relationships. Like, call me crazy, but I really think this could work."

"Okay, so you are crazy... but," you begin. He laughs, knowing that you're never able to resist the role of devil's advocate. "Hypothetically speaking- we get you a date. We get you a girl you're really interested in, but there are still a fuck tonne of birds? Then what?"

"Well, by that point hopefully we'll have worked through enough of our respective issues. I'm not gonna magically become a lothario overnight, am I? It will take time," he emphasises. "By the time I'm ready for that, I'm pretty sure you'll also be ready to explore this shit with someone you actually care about."

It's funny. You do care about him. Wouldn't even be considering this if you didn't.

"I'm not convinced," you say. It's a nice idea, but there's no way your timelines will be linear. Your breakup is far fresher - but you don't realise just how deep his wounds go. Perhaps it will take him just as much time.

He nods. Appreciates your honesty. Rereads his bird. "Suggest an idea you know will be rejected. I didn't come here thinking you'd agree, Byeol, but I also don't think it's a bad idea."

"And if I do agree?"

"There's a bird already waiting," he gestures towards the one on the countertop. It's sitting, untouched by you, in a very sorry state. You really are terrible at origami. 

"Can I... have some time to think?"

His proposition is a big ask. Jeongguk knows this. So far, you've been dancing around the notion of a somewhat unconventional friendship, but escalating things will really cement it. There'll likely be no going back.

And so he says, "I have a lot of trust in our friendship, Byeol. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think we could handle it. I know it's a lot though, and I've already wasted enough of your time tonight, so I'll leave you be, okay?" He gets to his feet, and places his bird down on the counter. It's yours now. He's set it free. "Text me when you get home? Not for like, anything in particular, I don't need an answer now. Just so that I know you're home safe."

"Okay," you nod as he walks to the door. "Bye, Gguk."

He glances over his shoulder and presses his lips together, his silver lip ring flipping ever so slightly. "Bye, Byeol."

There's a shift as he leaves. The air feels colder; the light dimmer. You're left with your thought and nothing but a little regret simmering in your stomach. The feeling of safety that comes with Jeongguk leaves when he does. You don't like it. Want it back.

"Shit," you curse, tossing your own bird down onto the counter. Running for the door, You call after him. "Hey! Gguk, wait!

By the foot of the stairs, Jeongguk turns. Take a single step back up. Stops himself from walking the full distance. 

"You gotta promise me one thing," you say, but it's posed more as a question.

He'll promise you whatever you ask - within reason. "What?"

"If we do this, it won't fuck up your friendship with Jimin?"

"Why would- Ohhh," he snorts. "'Cause you fucked him."

"Yes, again, thank you for the reminder. I'm sure the entire building needs to know that."

"Shut up, there's like no one else here."

"It's the principle."

"The Jimin thing is fine," he says. He wouldn't have suggested this if he thought it would impact anything within his existing friendships. He cares about Jimin probably more than he cares for you. It's in slightly different capacities, admittedly, but that doesn't matter. "No offence, but he doesn't sit there lamenting the way you left him that night."

"Yes, he does," you challenge, knowing Jeongguk is absolutely correct. "Don't lie."

"Will it make you feel better if I pretend he does?"

"Yes."

"Okay, fine, he stares and the door and pines for your return like a lovesick puppy - happy?"

It's funny, 'cause it's probably what Jimin would actually say about Jeongguk instead. Always a little mopier after his time spent with you is finished.

"Much happier," you grin. "But I'm serious. I don't wanna cause you issues."

"I'd be causing myself issues," he insists. "It wouldn't be your fault. But no, it'll be fine."

You take a second to breathe. Let your cheeks plumpen as air exhales from your lips. "Alright. Let's try it. The bird that fell today, let's try it, and see how it goes? If it's too weird-"

"We can back out," he nods. "No harm, no foul."

"You got anywhere to be? Wanna wait with me while I finish up and then..."

The beat of your heart is so rapid that you think you might have a heart attack - but as Jeongguk makes his way up the stairs, it seems to settle. This is fine.

"And then?"

"Then we'll do the damn bird."

 AO3 | MASTERLIST | NEXT

[burst-of-iridescent]

atla live action thoughts: season one review

first things first: anyone who says the Movie That Does Not Exist is better than the live action is straight-up lying. the shymalan film fails on the criteria of even being a decent movie, let alone an adaptation. the netflix series, for all its problems, is at least an enjoyable watch with great effects, music and (mostly) appropriate casting. there's absolutely nothing to compare here - the netflix version clears easily.

now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's delve into the series, starting with the positives.

the good:

visuals and cinematography. they really did a great job of making it feel like a fantasy universe you wanted to be in & i love how vibrant the saturation and colour grading was. it made the world feel so much more dynamic and alive instead of the same flat, boring dullness that so many movies and shows have these days. sometimes i didn't even mind that i was being fed obvious exposition because at least they were giving me something pretty to look at lmao

effects and action. the bending was surprisingly good for the most part, and they did a good job of making the elements feel unique through the stunt choreography and the actors' movements. i'm immensely thankful they didn't try to skimp on budget by merely cutting away from fight scenes or showing us as little as possible. almost all the action sequences were fast-paced and engaging, and i was never bored watching them

acting. the main four were all great, but gordon cormier and dallas liu have to be the standouts for me. gordon brings such an earnest, innocent sweetness to aang that you can't help but like him, and dallas plays all of zuko's facets perfectly: the angst, the explosive anger, the bratty snark, and especially the deep-rooted pain that characterizes so many of zuko's actions in book 1. the range he has, especially when flashing from younger to older zuko, was insane. special shoutout to maria zhang and sebastian amoruso as suki and jet respectively, because they killed it

music. leaves from the vine instrumental had me tearbending and i love how they kept the iconic avatar theme while making it a little darker for this iteration of the story. in general, the soundtrack felt very true to the animation while still being a fresh spin on it

zuko and iroh's relationship and expanding on zuko's crew. i think the fandom universally agrees that lu ten's funeral and zuko's crew being the 41st division were the best changes in the series, so i'm not going to talk about it further other than to say that these scenes show me what the show can be, and that's why i'm not giving up on it

the bad:

characterization. almost all the main characters are missing the little nuances that made them so great in the original, but the greatest casualty is katara. i hate that they took away so much of her rage, and gave many of her traits and struggles to sokka. i don't think this is a problem solely with the writing though, because certain lines do feel like things animated katara would say, but the directing and line delivery don't have the same punch that made her so fierce in the original. this is an easily fixed issue though, so i hope they take the criticism and let my girl be angry and fuck shit up next season

exposition. this was primarily a problem in depicting aang's personality and the relationship between the gaang, because a) why are you TELLING me that aang is mischievous and fun-loving instead of just showing me and b) the gaang do NOT feel like close friends, mostly because they spend so much time apart in every episode that they have little screentime to actually bond and develop intimacy.

lack of focus on the intricacies of bending. for a show whose tagline is "master your element" the characters spend very little time actually... mastering their element. zuko is never shown to struggle with firebending (which is going to have ramifications when it comes to developing his relationship with azula), and neither aang nor katara ever learn waterbending from a master throughout the the entire show. i'm pretty sure aang never willingly waterbends ONCE in the entire eight episodes, discounting the avatar state and koizilla. bending isn't just cool martial arts, it's closely linked to the philosophies and spirituality of each nation, and i wish that had been explored more.

pacing. they really needed to do a better job of conveying that time passed between episodes because an 8-episode season is just going to FEEL shorter than a 20-episode one. the original animation felt as though they'd truly been on a long journey before arriving at the north, but here it feels like the entire show happened in the span of a fortnight or so because each episode seemed to pick up right after the previous. they needed to have more downtime within episodes instead of just rushing from plot beat to plot beat because it made everything feel a lot more rushed. give the characters and story time to breathe.

final rating: 7/10.

overall, i would describe the live action as a better version of the percy jackson movies - not an accurate or perfect adaptation, but a decent story that's very fun to watch. but what really makes me root for this show to get a season 2 is that it has a lot of potential and more importantly, a lot of heart. it's evident that the people who worked on it do genuinely love and respect the original series, and it shows onscreen.

regardless of anything else, this show created opportunities for so many asian and indigenous actors, writers and creators to tell the kinds of stories and play the kinds of roles they don't usually get, and that's something worth supporting. if they take the criticism from this season and improve, i believe they really do have something special on their hands which - although it might not be the original we all know and love - could still be a story to be proud of.

[scottathann]

The YouTubers don't want you know that MM&B is actually one of the best classic series games and is the better of the 2 snes games between it and 7. It's not really that hard of a hard game either. People who act like it's one of the most unforgiving games in the franchise are just bad at Mega Man games.

Each character has their pros and cons (although Bass is definitely easy mode overall), and you can buy upgrades over time to decrease the difficulty. Even a game over doesn't mean all is lost since you can spend the bolts you got in the level you died in to get upgrades. Playing as Mega Man makes bosses easier to defeat because his shots do more damage and the slide is a great and quick way to dodge attacks, but levels are more difficult because he can't double jump or skip entire sections with giant leaps. Bass can, which is why levels are piss easy when you play as him, but bosses are initially tough because his buster does shit damage until you get an upgrade for it. Bass also has Treble boost which lets him fly over entire screens. And people say this game is brutal?

The level design is actually pretty good I think, more fun than half the games in the classic series and far more stimulating than most X series levels. Bosses actually force you to use your brain, even when you have their weaknesses (excluding a few). For the longest time I thought Astro Man was unreasonable for a starter boss but now that I don't totally suck at Mega Man games it was actually possible for me to beat him buster-only within a few tries, and it was satisfying to learn how.

There's no e-tanks, but you do have:

-An ability to increase how much you gain from health and ammo pickups

-An ability to receive less damage

-An ability to increase damage output when you're low on health (very good against bosses)

-Rush search which digs up ammo and health

Which is quite frankly way more forgiving than Mega Man 1, while still not giving you the ability to bypass challenge with a stock of health refills. I think this is great.

The biggest problem with the game is that the King Mechs are very tedious, and sometimes enemy placement is cheap (which is not unique to this game at all lol).

The soundtrack is one of my favorite game osts, the graphics are in mm8's arstyle which is great cause I love how 8 looks, the special weapons are all pretty useful and fun to mess around with, and the robot master designs are totally sick.

I don't give a fuck about the gba version btw as there's literally no reason to play that version. If you use that port as a complaint against this game then you're stupid.

Anyway nobody gives a shit probably but I feel like this game has always been kinda overhated, and its difficulty is way overblown. I would choose this game over 1-3, 5-8, 10, all of the gameboy titles including V, X3, and X5-8. I haven't beaten 11 yet and I don't think it's fair to compare the ZX or Legends games here.

[chatter-crow]

please do. personally went off about the soundtrack the first time i heard it.... it's's . not good (about mean girls)

alright this is a whole lot because holy SHIT i think about this more than I should

! ! This is all my opinion ! !

If you liked it, good for you ig just dont attack me lol

They took every bit of musical theater out of the soundtrack and made it sound like generic pop. Theater kids pay WELL for good stuff, they could have made a lot of money.

Also, the complete lack of emotion is awful. Stupid With Love is meant to be Cady being absolutely thrilled, on the fucking moon with joy, but she sounds completely apathetic about her feelings for Aaron. Plus, the way they used autotune (esp on Cady) makes it feel like Disney Channel in the worst way possible.

There are some lyrics changes that really bother me. In the orignal Sexy, Karen has a line of 'I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in,' while in the new line is 'Watch me as I run the world in shoes I cannot walk in', which chnages the entire meaning of the lyric from 'Karen thinks its #feminist to assert control over people because she's priveleged' to 'Karen is a girlboss who can do anything cause women are cool and smart' , which in the most respectful is *not* who Karen is as a character. There are more, but I can't name them off the top of my head so,, whatever lol

On casting, I think just about everybody but Cady were cast extremely well. Renee Rapp does such a fantastic job as Regina, really suits the character and knows how to play her. (Makes sense, she played Regina on Broadway).

Auli'i Cravalho pulls off Janis's character pretty well, but I don't think she fully captured the essence of the character. She doesn't really have the bitterness/jadedness that the orginal Janis has and I don't feel like she has the fact the Janis is in fact a mean girl down. This is no shade to her, I feel like it's more the way they rewrote Janis rather than her acting. I do like that they changed Janis's last name to reflect Auli'i's culture though. Nice detail.

Avantika and Jaquel both pulled off their characters perfectly. Avantika really has the right face for Karen, with big doe eyes and whatnot, she can really pull off the effect of being as stupid as Karen is. (That sounds mean, it's really not.) Jaquel did Damien good, and I don't really have a lot to say on his performance other than his voice is fantastic and he has Damien's character down. I do think he got type-cast a *bit* just due to how I've seen him act off screen, but he still did good. He knows his type.

Cady. Hoo boy. She is.. a look.

Angourie Rice is a fine actress on her own, but her vocals just aren't strong enough to keep up when she's surronded by people like Auli'i Cravalho and Renee Rapp, whose careers have been strongly focused on the muscial side of things, with Auli'i playing Moana for Disney and Renee having a music and broadway career alongside her movie career. Angourie just isn't able to compete with them. I'm sure she's a lovely actress on her own but she just doesn't have the muscial expiernce to be leading in a movie-musical.

Also, with representation, I appreciate that they made the cast more diverse, but it bothers me that four of the biggest MAIN CHARACTERS are still white. I can understand keeping Regina blonde because of the constant references to her blonde-ness in the musical, but Gretchen or Aaron absolutely could have been changed.

Hell, I would have loved to see Gretchen played by an asian actress, reconnecting with her culture at the end, since in the original she began to learn japanese or chinese (I don't remember which rn) as a way to connect with her new circle of friends.

On costumes, I don't think they did Janis justice, but I do like the gradual shift they have for Cady in her style and the Plastics are accurate.

I think keeping Janis emo like she was in the orignal movie and the musical would have been better. Artsy styles like hers are more widely excepted by teenagers while emos are mocked and harrassed extremely often, so keeping her emo would have added to her status as a social outcast.

I enjoy how they used social media to change the plot to be more modern, even if it isn't entirely accurate to how teenagers nowadays act. I think they were trying their best and did what they could with what knowledge they had.

I'm mad that they cut Stop, More is Better, Where Do You Belong? and Do This Thing. Stop is a fantastic chance to put the spotlight on Damian (since he has almost no solos COUGH COUGH) in and it could have absolutely been spun to have a more modern take on internet safety.

The plot. Oh my god, the plot. I HATE how they changed Regina being homophobic to Janis to 'oOOOooo Regina made it seem like Janis was an arsonist', which is.. litterally not the point. Homophobia still exists, Tina Fey, and sapphics/lesbians often do face discrimination from other women who claim to be allies. Plus, with calling Regina a lesbian and trying to set up Rejanis in the end? No! That is just not it! Regina is a fucking homophobe. Fight me y'all.

Okay I'm running out of time rn BUT i will be back later to add more onto this ,, thanks for reading through all of this if you did kudos to you

so long yall

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Top 100 Movies #100 - #76

For the longest time I've wanted to do something like this, but I never could find the right time to do it. It just seemed so daunting, and the website's image limit was a hindrance, and then my computer died and my wife's computer was all I could use... and then I went on my hiatus from doing major reviews. But I found some time, so here we go.

These are my hundred favorite films ever made, divided into fourths so each one can get an image and I can devote more time to gushing about them if I want to without feeling like I'm dragging things out.

Speaking if dragging things out, let us waste no more time! We have a hundred movies to go, so let's knock out the botom quarter!

100. Us

Jordan Peele’s sophomore effort gets a lot of shit that I feel is mostly undeserved. Sure, some of the over explaining at the climax is a bit clunky when taken at face value, but it almost feels like it’s by design, as if the movie is daring you to nitpick the premise so that you can ignore the message it’s trying to convey. For me, I find that the stellar themes, fantastic acting, and godly soundtrack manage to make up for any of this movie’s flaws.

99. Crimson Peak

Murder! Mystery! Ghosts! Incest! Leave it to Guillermo del Toro to craft a Gothic horror film this stylish and impressive! This might just be my favorite of his films, and I definitely think it is severely overlooked compared to the rest of his output.

98. Mandy

Nicolas Cage is one of my favorite actors of all time, because when he goes crazy it’s always fun, and when he’s dramatic he genuinely kills it. This film lets him do both,with the first half being a slow burn dramatic romance that ends in horrific tragedy, and the back half having him do demon drugs and get into a chainsaw duel while he murders an entire cult. Truly a beautifully insane film.

97. Scream

The film that both revitalized and ruined the slasher genre, with winking nods to the tropes that made those films what they are while also playing things just straight enough to be appealing. Only a genre master like Wes Craven could pull off a pitch-perfect satire like this, though none of it would be near as good if it didn’t have a great cast who were firing on all cylinders. Young Neve Campbell before she became a sellout, Matthew Lillard cementing his place in horror history, David Arquette and Courtney Cox in their prime, and Roger “Mojo Jojo” Jackson playing the iconic voice of Ghostface… They’re as crucial to this movie’s success as the meta winks and impressive kills are.

96. Jojo Rabbit

Taika Waititi made one bad superhero movie and then everyone turned on him as if he didn’t make the film that proves you absolutely could make Blazing Saddles in this day and age. While it’s neither as gut-bustingly funny nor as profane as Mel Brooks’ magnum opus, it’s still a very fun, funny, and heartbreaking satirization of Nazism. I think he’s allowed to make one Love and Thunder when he made something this good.

95. Akira

The movie with the coolest bike slide in cinematic history, and this is indisputable because every single movie and show with motorcycles in it borrowed that cool bike slide. This film does show its age a bit, but it’s still an awesome sci-fi showcase of animated action and body horror. Plus it’s just a lot of fun seeing Tetsuo and Kaneda spend at least half of their dialogue dramatically screaming each other’s names.

94. 300

I make fun of Zack Snyder a lot, but I do it out of love; the dude who made 300 has gotta be capable of doing better than his recent output, after all. Stylish, slick action and slow-mo put to good use showing an army of nearly naked macho men cutting down hordes of nasty bad guys… The fact I watched this movie so much as a teenager should’ve been the first hint I was bisexual.

93. Spider-Man: No Way Home

People are really fucking hard on the MCU Spidey, and not without reason, but sometimes it really comes off as disingenuous. Look at this film, for instance; it has gotten some flak for just being a cheap nostalgia circlejerk that uses cameos so you can clap and cheer and ignore the ‘plot holes.’ I cannot imagine being that miserable of a movie watcher. To me, this film is a tribute to the cinematic Spideys that came before while giving them some degree of closure that I never thought I’d see, while simultaneously bringing Holland’s take on the character closer to where he should be. It’s also really hard to hate a movie where Willem Dafoe gets to go Goblin Mode again and power bomb Tom Holland through several floors of an apartment, cementing him as comic book movie villain royalty once and for all. Are there cheesy moments, moments where things don’t make the most sense? Sure. But to focus on those bits instead of the core themes and how the characters are used is an awful way t do film criticism. The returning heroes and most of the returning villains are used very effectively to tell the story they wanted to tell, and most importantly they don’t overshadow Tom and his friends. The fact he stands toe-to-toe with Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield is nothing short of amazing, spectacular even.

92. The Lost Boys

Joel Schumacher died with one of the most unfairly earned infamous reputations around. Man made one campy superhero movie where you can see George Clooney’s nips and hear Arnold Schwarzenegger make ice puns and suddenly everyone forgets he made one of the greatest and most homoerotic vampire films ever made. While the stuff with the kids is very hit or miss, the stuff with David and his vampire biker gang is awesome, and the climax is one hell of a good time.

91. Barbie

Want to introduce your kids to feminist concepts but really don’t think they’re ready for Poor Things? Greta Gerwig has got you covered, with this pink-hued intro to feminism that uses the world’s most popular doll in a meta-narrative about her impact as well as what it means to be a woman and how the patriarchy is detrimental to both men and women. Margot Robbie gives a great performance as the titular heroine, but it is Ryan Gosling as the well-meaning idiot turned antagonist Ken that steals the show. It helps that he sings one of the most incredible, sincere power ballads ever written.

90. Street Fighter

As a connoisseur of cheesy, “so bad it’s good” films, quite a few of them have made my top 100. Here’s the first of those, this goofy Saturday morning cartoon of a film where the most American character ever (Guile) is played by the least American guy imaginable (Jean-Claude Van Damme). While it undeniably fumbles a lot of the cast of the game it’s adapting, Chun-Li and especially M. Bison are done so well it’s hard to be too mad. It’s a fun, stupid, silly 90s action film and sometimes that’s all I need.

89. Knives Out

After polarizing sci-fi audiences with his Star Wars film, Rian Johnson subverted our expectations by delivering a whodunnit for the ages. After seeing them restrained by blockbuster franchises for the better part of a decade, seeing Daniel Craig and Chris Evans really let loose again is a real treat.

88. Everything Everywhere All at Once

Twitter tries to convince me every other week that this movie is dogshit, but I ain’t buying it. This is one of the best uses of the multiverse in recent memory, using it to tell a stylish, silly, and heartfelt story about family and trauma. The entire cast is amazing, but it’s Ke Huy Quan in his big return to the silver screen that really steals the show.

87. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

My favorite thing about this movie, this proto-slasher, is just how fucking unclean it makes me feel. It’s not overly violent or gory, but it is genuinely grimy and unsettling in a way few other horror films can match. The dinner scene near the end in particular is just so fucking unnerving. Just truly unmatched atmosphere with this movie.

86. Spaceballs

While I’m not going to argue that this is a better film than Blazing Saddles, I still enjoy it a lot more since I’m a bigger fan of Star Wars and sci-fi than I am of Westerns. It’s just a damn funny parody, and hoe can it not when it has some of the funniest people to ever live (Mel Brooks, Joan Rivers, Rick Moranis, John Candy) and a great heroic lead performance from Bill Pullman all delivering some of the silliest lines ever written?

85. RRR

This is basically live action historical fiction anime. These characters pull off some of the most insane feats of action I have ever seen, action that makes the average American action film look like Peppa Pig. But I would not give a shit if there wasn’t a strong emotional core; the two leads have a brotherly bond unlike anything I’ve ever, and it makes the action that much sweeter. Frankly, this movie would make the list just for the final battle alone, since it might be my favorite action scene of all time.

84. Strange Magic

This movie holds a very special place in my heart. I went to see this with my wife back when we first started dating, and at the time I was filled with anxiety and insecurity, worried that I wasn’t good enough and didn’t deserve a relationship among other things. I sat down to watch this, and when it got to the titular song, something clicked, and I felt secure. I felt like our relationship was the right thing, and all these years later it’s hard to deny I was right. So thank you to this cheesy jukebox musical inspired by Shakespeare and George Lucas’ desire to make a film for little girls. They will never convince me you’re a bad movie.

83. Princess Mononoke

Maybe Miyazaki’s Spirited Away is objectively better, but this is my favorite. I think it’s because this one is a lot more excitin and action-packed, with all sorts of thrilling setpieces interspersed with the quieter dramatic moments Miyazaki excels at.

82. Jurassic Park

One of Spielberg’s greatest achievements is bringing dinosaurs to life on the big screen. No matter how many times I sit down to watch this, I still feel the same awe the characters do when they lay their eyes on the dinosaurs—which really highlights how good the cast is, because they’re amazingly convincing even when they’re looking at dated 90s CGI.

81. Labyrinth

It’s David Bowie starring as the villain in a musical filled with puppets that’s directed by Jim Henson. How the fuck is it possible to not love this movie?

80. V for Vendetta

Yes, this does dumb down the politics of Alan Moore’s comic significantly and turns the story into a much more straightforward plot. But what it lacks in depth, it makes up for with Hugo Weaving and pyrotechnics. And it’s not like there’s no depth here; crucially, this film keeps the entirety of the prisoner’s letter sequence. If that was left out, I would not have liked this movie at all.

79. Wreck-It Ralph

It’s amazing how much Disney got right here that it would go on to get wrong over the next decade. We have a hidden twist villain, something that hampered later films… but he’s shown to be a dick, with the villain reveal being how evil he is. It’s a big crossover of nostalgic properties… but they’re more used as seasoning for a story about original characters. It’s just astonishing how Disney would end up dropping the ball, even in this film’s sequel, when they got everything right the first time.

78. Sin City

What’s black and white and red all over? This bloody brilliant adaptation of Frank Miller’s sleazy comics (and one of the last genuinely good things with his name attached to it). The visual style here is the real big selling point; it genuinely looks like the pages of a comic come to life. While the movie as a whole is fantastic and “The Big Fat Kill” segment is still really, “The Hard Goodbye” and “That Yellow Bastard” are the real highlights, the former because of a career highlight performance from Mickey Rourke and a terrifying villain turn from Elijah Wood of all people, the latter because of one of Bruce Willis’ finest performances of the 2000s and excellent use of slight splashes of color (yellow for the titular bastard).

77. Batman & Robin

As long as I live, this movie will have at least one defender. Joel Schumacher created a silly, campy comic book movie for the ages, and maybe back in the day people weren’t read for it… but I was. I love the ice puns, the nipples, the bat credit card, all of it! All of its silly, stupid corniness makes this as memorable as it is! It’s like the West show with a gigantic budget.

76. The Rocky Horror Picture Show

And speaking of camp, here is the cult classic. We can argue all day and all night whether this film has aged badly, but this was a huge step forward for queer cinema on top of being a damn good musical. If nothing else, this movie helped rocket Tim Curry into the stratosphere and made him the star we know him as.

[weirdtinkerbellversion]

Just got out of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and I loved it so much but as always, I have thoughts and feelings. So here's the initial observation. FULL SPOILERS for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes BELOW you have been warned.

First of all, I loved the way they organized it and the fact that they kept the 3 acts clearly defined the same way the books did, and the opening scene is brilliant. Putting it at the forefront like that gives you all you need to know to understand Corio later. The acting is phenomenal, the songs (I could die). All in all, kudos. Absolutely brilliant. Now to the things I wish they had done differently.

First, changing the sequence of events in the arena. I understand we're on a time limit but there are details that to me, reading the book, I felt were too important not to put in. Examples below.

One: the fact that Lucy's poisoned water does not kill Wovey, only Dill. Don't get me wrong, they both get the point across and the fact that Lucy is in fact responsible for someone younger and weaker than her dying, but I feel like in the films, they established this stronger connection between Lucy and Wovey in a couple of scenes, including them holding hands as they walk into the games, and Wovey being killed by that bottle would have really pushed things in a way I would have liked to see.

Two: the way they changed Reaper and his behavior and his ending. What I loved about Reaper in the books was his defiance in silence. Everything he did for the tributes he did without ever saying a word, which in my opinion was more powerful than when he yells in the films, but that's a minor detail. What I didn't like was that he was killed by the snakes and we don't get to see Lucy use his graveyard and the flag against him, doing that little cat and mouse dance until he dies. His death in the movie was shot beautifully, with his arms wide, sitting among the dead bodies he compiled, poetic as fuck, but give me the book death because it says so much about both his and Lucy's characters.

Three: this is a more minor detail but I wish they hadn't changed the way Lysistrata handles Jessup's death and his rabies. Instead of her offering to save Lucy by sending all this water, it's Coryo who suggests it out of the blue and Lys doesn't like it.

My second issue with the film is that I felt act 3 was a little rushed in its storytelling. We get all the events for the most part but I felt like they were running out of time and trying to cram everything that happens in these last 45 minutes. For example, we see them hunting the Mockingjays but we never get an explanation, we never understand what they're doing (for viewers who have not read the book). And because of that, we see so much less of this hatred that Coryo has for the mockingjays that is so well set up in the book. We also get the results of Snow's aptitude test out of the blue as well. I wish we had gotten a little more insight into the life that he and Sejanus led for a bit to contextualize everything and to help us connect even more. Even Sejanus' exclusion from the trip to the lake and the relationship with the Covey made me a little sad because those moments in the books helped make the separation and realization of "betrayal" if you want to call it that even more poignant. It helped us see how truly selfish Coryo is and his lack of connection with anyone in that part of his life.

Third, I wish we had seen him throw away his mother's compact and his photos of his family and only keeping his father's compass as he leaves District 12. That moment in the book was so important for me. We see him becoming more like his father and throwing away the things that remind him of his mother and Tigris who were the kinder people in his life.

Anyway, this was a long rant about things that popped into my head while I was watching. The film is absolutely brilliant and I didn't want it to end and I want more songs and soundtracks and I'll definitely be rewatching it when I can.

[alphabetboyluvr]

bad decisions - jjk | twelve

You take a second to breathe. Let your cheeks plumpen as air exhales from your lips. "Alright. Let's try it. The bird that fell today, let's try it, and see how it goes? If it's too weird"— "We can back out," he nods. "No harm, no foul." "You got anywhere to be? Wanna wait with me while I finish up and then..." The beat of your heart is so rapid that you think you might have a heart attack—but as Jungkook makes his way up the stairs, it seems to settle. This is fine. "And then?" "Then we'll do the damn bird."

Bad Decision #12 - An Agreement

warnings: THE BALL IS ROLLING! solo masturbation that is, on a technicality, mutual masturbation (soulmate behaviour!). plot is also plotting! artist!tae is doing thingggssss. jk is getting bold! and sexy!

soundtrack: fuxxin' love (2019) - OoOo

wc: 7.4k

bd total wc: 370k (on-going)

minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |

There's a lingering silence as Jungkook sits across from you on his bed. 

You're both crossed-legged, looking at the unfolded bird between you. His back is perfectly straight, posture pristine as always, but yours is a little more slumped. In all honesty, you just want to stop looking at the words written down on the paper, but it's like watching a car crash in slow motion. You can't look away.

His curtains are drawn shut. It's a change to his normal set-up - but the sun has already risen. If either of you stand any chance of sleeping, they need to be closed. The lamp on his bedside table currently illuminates you both, a warm glow only adding to the intoxicated haze you're still looking at the world through.

"Okay, so I think our birds are quite different," Jungkook finally says. His voice is contemplative, but then he laughs. The lamplight catches in his eyes. He's serene. "Byeol, what the fuck?"

You groan and flop down onto his bed, nose nestling into his ever-freshly laundered sheets. "I didn't know we'd ever be reading them!"

Since the first bird fell, you've known that agreeing to share them was a mistake, but you had also forgotten just how many of your birds had been plagued by your desire for a sex life that didn't feel so tragic these days. 

Jungkook leans a little forward, outstretching his arm to ruffle at your freshly bleached hair. He still hasn't mentioned it, and you find it odd. Had expected at least a remark regarding the fact it had changed, but instead he's simply acting as if that's how it's always been.

Anyone who does mention it has their compliments dismissed, with you insisting on pointing out just how patchy it is, so at least it saves making even more self-deprecating comments.

"I think we should veto it," you mumble into his duvet.

Frankly, Jungkook is amused by it all.  He's also still got some of those tequila slammers in his bloodstream, which makes him throw caution to the wind a little more than usual. "Your choice, Byeol."

You huff, forcing yourself back up to face him. The origami paper stares at you. Is screaming. 

It's partially your fault for choosing to write your birds in full capital letters. Jungkook had written his like a normal human being, and they feel far less confrontational. 

"It's an interesting one," he notes, before reading it out loud: "Mutual masturbation. The four exclamation points really add a certain... je ne sais quoi."

"Oh my god, shut up," you whine. "I was just thinking of the most intimate things you could do with a person, yanno?"

"And you chose mutual masturbation?" Jungkook holds back a laugh. Doesn't hold it very well. Splutters one out regardless.

"Well, yeah?" You furrow your brows together, confused by the fact he doesn't deem it to be the height of intimacy. You think it's potentially the most vulnerable you can be with another person. "Getting off is so... personal. Doing exactly what you like... I don't think anyone's ever seen me... yanno?"

"No, I don't know," Jungkook taunts, a cocky smirk gracing his pretty lips. You decide that alcohol is the worst thing to have ever happened to him. "No one has ever seen you what, Byeol?"

"You know what."

"No, I don't," he shrugs. "I don't know how you touch yourself."

You bury your head back into his duvet. "Oh my god, shut the fuck up. This one - this bird - is vetoed. We're not doing it. You never saw it."

Your ears are as pink as your cheeks, embarrassment taking hold of your features. It's really not like you to be bothered about such things, but the fact that Jungkook's birds are all so.... innocent has you feeling a little mortified.

"Since when have you been such a prude, Byeol?!"

"I'm not! You're just... you." The way you say it - with such disgust - is exactly why he's winding you up. He doesn't expect the bird to be carried out. It's just funny to watch you squirm. "I'm not discussing my vagina with you."

"Is that not what friends are for?"

"No."

"Bet you'd discuss it with Danbi."

"Yeah, because I can trust her not to get a boner," you huff, sitting back up to face him. He's got the stupidest grin on his face, and even though you're trying to seem annoyed, he can tell that you're fighting one too. It's in the way your lips are twitching ever so slightly, brows easing from their furrowed state.

"I'm very capable of not getting a boner," he protests, but you don't care.  Just tell him to go to bed. You've got shit to do in the morning after you've slept the alcohol off. A job to get to in the afternoon. Can't be up all night.

He laughs to himself for a little while in the sanctuary of his pillow swamp. You tell him to shut up, and throw one of his pillows at him. Jungkook just simply tosses it back up to you. Tells you goodnight and settles into a comfortable position. 

'Because I can trust her not to get a boner'.

Now that he's thinking about it, he's a little offended. He quite literally showered with you earlier and showed not even a hint of getting a hard-on. 

Then again, he wasn't actually facing you. Had refused to let himself think of what you'd look like half-naked under a stream of running water. Had focused his mind entirely on the grout between the tiles, considering whether or not it would look better grey instead of white.

Truth be told, he probably wouldn't have gotten hard anyways. Was too nervous. Scared of doing or saying the wrong thing. Scared that you'd reject his offer. It's not like he was getting anything out of it - it really had been to help ease you into the idea of sharing a shower not being absolutely terrifying to you - but rejection is never nice in any capacity. 

You shuffle beneath his sheets and sigh in such a way that he's almost positive you're asleep. Strange enigma of a woman, he thinks as he smiles to himself. You're so mild-mannered and peaceful in one moment, then causing chaos in the next.

He's glad to have you around. Glad that Jimin was a little crap in bed. Glad that you didn't want to hang out with Jimin all the time instead of him. Glad. Just glad.

But then his mind starts to wonder. Starts thinking about what could have happened if he had gotten a boner. Would you really be that repulsed?

He shakes his head. Tries to rid himself of the thought. It's completely inappropriate. The time spent together beneath the cascading water of his shower had been such a vulnerable moment for you. He's thinking about it as his cock is getting hard. It's so wrong. He feels like a shitty friend. 

Palming at his crotch, Jungkook tries to stop the chain reaction that is happening. It's fruitless though.  The contact only makes it worse.

Jungkook says nothing as he gets to his feet and excuses himself from his room. He can't think straight. Decides the alcohol is at fault - but as he looks in his bathroom mirror, he can't help but curse.

There's no denying how hard he is. Not even a little firm. He's solid.

"Fuck," he groans, resting his palms on the counter, hanging his head between his shoulders. He shakes it. Knows that his current predicament is just circumstantial.

It's not that he actively thinks about you in that capacity, but the conversation you'd been engaged in has his mind wondering. Has him thinking about what the realities of the vetoed bird could look like. The way you'd close your eyes. The way you'd moan. The movements of your body; the squirm of your hips. The scent. The taste.

One of his hands drops from the counter. Palms at his crotch. Dips into the waistband of his boxers. "Shit."

He can't picture anything. Not really. He's never seen you in that capacity, so it's a little hard to imagine it - but he can seem to imagine the sensation seeing it would make him feel. How he'd get a little breathless. How he'd watch you as you watched him. He thinks about your eyes. Thinks about your glitter. Thinks about how it would shine with every movement of your body.

He untucks from his boxers, and strokes gently. Once, twice. "Fuck." Three times. A fourth.

There's a tightening in his chest, as if his logical mind is trying to make him stop. He pulls at his cock, bringing himself closer and closer to release. Once he cums, it will be fine. Just pent-up frustration. He wouldn't even be thinking about you like this if he wasn't clearly horny. He probably could have gotten laid tonight had he not drawn himself away from the girl in the club. 

That's it, he decides. That's what this is. Just a misplaced need for release.

It's a shame he doesn't know how restless you are beneath his sheets. How your hand crept down your body the moment he left the room; mind plagued with the idea of getting off with him. How you toy with your exposed pussy, wearing only his shirt.

You know you shouldn't. You're in Jungkook's bed. He has to sleep in here. His sheets smell like him. 

Yet as you tell yourself no, it's the reasons why you should stop that seem to spur you on more. It does smell like Jungkook. Smells like safety. If that isn't the best environment to get yourself off in, then what is?

You think about his back, and then you think about his arms wrapped around you and—"fuck"— it's not even the idea of him that's getting you wet; it's the idea of safety. Yes, it was his arms, but it's not the fact they're his which have you feeling this way; it's the fact you know they wouldn't drop you. And even if they did? You'd not be falling from some great height.

Realigning your mind, you let your mind wander to where it usually does in the early hours of the morning; Seokjin's kitchen, and the time he took you from behind when you'd been making dinner. 

It's your failsafe. Always gets you off remembering it. You think of his hands - strong, wide - and how they'd gripped at your waist. You think of his lips - soft, plump - against your throat. You're thinking of the view across the city from his apartment. Thinking about the way he'd turned you round; carried you to it. 

His apartment had been in a high-rise in the heart of the city. Not too far from Jungkook's, actually. The windows spanned the entire wall, and you'd always been envious of the fact he got to wake up to it on the daily. 

He'd put you down; turned you back around to face it. Had stripped you of your clothes. Pressed you against the window. Fucked his cock into you with such aggression that it almost seemed as if he wanted the glass to break. Fucked you so well that when you came, it felt like you were freefalling, even with the glass intact.

It's thinking about that orgasm that always gets your pussy clenching around your toys at home - but you're without them, and your hands just aren't doing the trick. Your brain jumps from thought to thought. Lands on the reason why you don't have your toys: you're at Jungkook's place. And then, because it's just as annoying as you are,  your head is just ribbiting his name at you. 

"Go away," you whine, but continue to play with your clit regardless. You're so close. "Just let me finish."

And it's funny, 'cause Jungkook's in his bathroom looking at the mess in the sink with a face of pure disgust. It's not the fact he got himself off that bothers him. Not the fact he whined a little too loud when he did so. Nothing like that at all.

It's that he'd been trying to think about the kiss he'd had that evening—the smell of her perfume, the softness of her lips—wanting it to be in his head when he came. He grew closer, and closer, and then—"oh, fuck"—why are you there? Why is he thinking about your gaze from the bar? And why is it that his brain always locks into one singular thought whenever he cums?

He just really hopes you didn't hear him curse out your name as he did so.

But you didn't. Were too busy having your own dilemma—one of which you're only just coming back down from when Jungkook re-enters the room. You wonder if he'll know. Wonder if he'll be able to smell your arousal. Wonder if he'll even figure out that's what the scent is.

Neither of you greets the other. He just gets back into his little pile of pillows. It's kind of funny. If weren't so paranoid about him knowing, you'd make a joke of it. Doesn't feel very funny, now.

Silence consumes the room. You don't even know if he knows you're awake. It's so awkward you quite literally wanted to shrivel up and die.

Okay, so you're being dramatic, but it really does feel that catastrophic to you. As if irrevocable damage has been done. As if you've ruined the friendship all by yourself - but then it has you thinking. He'd been gone for just the right amount of time for you to draw a release from yourself. It wasn't long, but it wasn't entirely speedy, either.

Jungkook shuffles. Lies on his back. Hands linked over his stomach.

"Kook..." Your voice whispers into the darkness.

"Mhmm?"

He sounds sleepy. Sounds well spent. You know you'll regret it, but you just kind of have to know.

"Did you... just..."

He pauses. Takes a deep breath. Finishes your sentence for you. "Get myself off?"

"Mhmm."

There's silence. It lasts no longer than a few seconds, but it feels like a lifetime to you.

"You want me to lie?" He asks, clearly wanting to avoid the truth.

"Depends on what the lie would be."

Silence resumes. Is broken with a sigh.

"No," he says - and then he clarifies. "'No' would be the lie."

You nod, understanding exactly what he means, crown of your head patting against his pillow.

And yet still, you push. You want a clear answer.

"In that case," you say a little shakily. "I'd like the truth."

"Okay," he replies, voice much stronger than yours. " Ask me again. Full-sentence. None of that trailing-off bullshit you do. If you want a direct answer, give me a direct question."

And so you do.

"Did you just get yourself off?"

"Yes."

Fuck.

"Me too."

He laughs. Feels a weight ease. Can't fight the smile that's beaming even in a dark room. What a fucking relief. "Did we just... do your bird?"

And then you're laughing too at how fucking ridiculous the situation is. "In a way."

A peaceful quietness settles over the pair of you. Calmness. Contentedness. You're on a level playing field.

"Hey Kook," you say after a moment.

"What now?" He moans, but you know he's smiling.

"What were you thinking about?"

And then rather suddenly he decides, "That's enough of this conversation. Night, Byeol."

"Oh my god, no," you protest, sitting up in his bed to look in his direction. The low-light level obscures him, but it doesn't matter. "What were you thinking about?"

"Byeol," he scolds. 

Although, in a way, it's kind of the answer.

"Jungkook," you scold right back.

"Wasn't thinking about anything. Go to sleep."

His denial is a silent scream. You think you know. Think it's fucking hilarious.

"Were you thinking about me?"

"No," he lies. "It'd make me go soft—hey!" Jungkook laughs as one of the pillows from his bed smacks against his face. "Well, were you thinking about me?" He banters back.

You laugh. "You forget I've fucked your housemate."

"OUCH."

You smile, all rather pleased with yourself, knowing it will play on his mind. Good. Serve him right for being a petulant little shit. "Night, Kook."

"Have nightmares," he says, and you just continue grinning as you snuggle up in his sheets.

"Already living one."

You don't discuss the night before when you're getting ready to leave a few hours later. You've work in the afternoon, and really want a proper shower at your own place before you rock up with blue poster paint still down your neck.

Jungkook feigns a hangover worse than it actually is. Says shit like, "I barely remember it," just so that you won't ask questions about why exactly he felt the need to excuse himself to the bathroom. 

He's not even really entirely sure why he did it. Obviously, he knows it's because he got himself too excited, just not why he got so excited. Just knows that he needs to figure out what's going on himself before he can breach the topic of conversation with you again.

You tell him you had a good night, and he says the same. It was nice for him to be out with you for once, instead of being an outsider looking in.

When you arrive at work that afternoon, Hoseok is tapping at his wrist. "What time do you call this?"

You roll your eyes, but your smile is warm. "Time you got a watch. How many painters we got in?"

"Full house," he says. "Only a few more prebooks for the rest of the day, though. No one booked in after eight, at least."

You ask him about his day, and let him babble on as you set about cleaning up the palettes he left for you to clear. He's been in work since midday, so has had to work through the heavy flow of customers coming in and out. Still wet, the chalky alkaline scent of the paint takes you back to the night before.

Has you thinking about Jungkook; his toned back, and the rivulet of green-tainted water you'd watched run down it. Funny, how he'd been hues of blue—cerulean strands of hair, emerald caught under the ridge of his jaw—whereas you'd been a peachy daydream, pinks on your skin to match your lips.

The palettes turn the sink water a murky brown. Looks a little like dirt. You wonder if that's what the hues of you and Jungkook would make together. Decide it's a good job you'll never find out.

But daisies push through dirt, you consider. There could be growth there. 

You let the water drain out, and rinse the boards off a final time, before you get to work on the brushes. Hosoek is greeting customers—"I love it. That shade of blue? Perfect. Come again soon!"—leaving you to your own devices, until a deep voice pulls your attention from the canvases you're organising. 

"I'm actually here to enquire about using the gallery space for a sho- oh. Hey," the owner of the voice says as he spots your eyes on him. 

Talk, dark and handsome, Kim Taehyung looks even better in the daylight. 

Dressed down in a white shirt and a pair of slacks, he's unassuming, but a frame like his commands attention. How Danbi is able to resist, you'll never know. Half think that maybe it would've been better if he'd been the one to have first caught your eye in Dionysus - but you're sure if Jimin was here instead, you'd be marvelling at how you'd landed someone as ethereal as him. The curse of attractive boys.

"Hey," you smile as you wipe your hands on a slightly paint-stained cloth. You whip it over your shoulder, and Taheyung smiles back. He wonders if that was something you did before you met Jungkook, or if he's rubbing off on you. "Watcha doin' here?"

"Bit of a strange request, actually," he prefaces. "I'm looking for gallery space."

"Gallery space?" You question, reaching over for the thick diary kept behind the desk. You keep your eyes on his as he awkwardly begins to explain, pulling the diary pencil from the pages it's currently lodged between.

"Yeah. I'm looking to exhibit some of my work—a few artists' works, actually. All local." He holds up a black folder and taps it. You reach out your hand to receive it, and pass the diary over to Hoseok. "It's all in here. Concepts, artists, pieces. Even pre-written a press release for you."

You flick through the pages of the folder. It's typical of artists who request to use the space to provide you with something like this, but you can really see the care put into it. It's a collection he's curated, with the intent of finally getting his name out there in the art world.

The title page is a singular word: Requited.

"It's a study on the conflicting meanings of the word," Taehyung explains, and you can see what he means instantly. Many of the pieces photographed in the exhibition pre-guide are dark - reds, deep browns. Passionate. "To avenge; to love."

You nod, flicking through the pages, still. It's an impressive collection, and you recognise one of the art styles from an account you follow on Instagram. "Why here?"

Taehyung grits his teeth together in a way that you just know means a lie is coming. "We want our work to be shown in a place that emulates the feeling of creation - we could host workshops during the exhibition period. Runs promotions with you, help"—

"Cut the bullshit," you grin. "C'mon. This is a solid collection. Solid pitch. The folder, at least, your delivery could use a little work-"

"Hey, I'm only acting relaxed 'cause I know what you look like after one too many drinks."

"You want to exhibit here or not?" You tease.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He laughs, holding his hands out, but not reaching over to touch you. "Honestly? The bigger galleries have dismissed us. I think they're holding out for bigger collections, and the smaller galleries are booked up till Christmas."

"You're trying to get in before the end of the year?"

"Ideally, yeah," Taehyung nods, a little apprehensively as Hoseok hands you back the diary. You swap, and he flicks through Taehyung's folder, nodding in appreciation. "End of October, start of November."

"Hoping for holiday sales?" You ask, to which he nods again.

"If we're at the start of the season, hopefully we'll be the one that buyers come back to," he explains. "And I meant what I said about the workshops. Your peak must be the winter months, right? People looking for something to do indoors?"

You nod. You've actively been enjoying the summer lull. Aren't looking forward to the upcoming season - at work, at least. You love autumn in your own time.

"We could host events," Taheyung suggests. "Charge a little more than usual for guided workshops. You could get a nice Christmas bonus."

It's not a bad idea by any stretch of the imagination, and if the boss agrees to it, it could actually make the upcoming busy season a lot more bearable for you if it's more structured. 

"If it were up to me, I'd say yes," you tell him. His eyes light up like embers from a smoking fire, but they simmer quickly. He knows it isn't up to you. "Is it okay if we hold onto your folder? See what the boss says?"

He nods like one of those dog figurines your grandfather used to keep on his windowsills. His enthusiasm is sweet, and you hope that your boss is just as keen as you are.

"How long until you know, do you think?"

"Give us a week, maybe?" You say. "There's space in the diary between events at the start of November. Hopefully if I structure a plan, make it easy for my boss, there'll be no reason to say no."

"You're a legend," he beams.

"Don't speak too soon," you remind him. "Still gotta get approval first."

"I know, I know," he nods. "You guys are the first place that's actually given us a look in, though. When Jungkook suggested here, I kind"—

"He suggested this place?" You smile a little bemused.

"Yeah," Tae confirms. "Didn't say you worked here, though."

"Well," you say with a scrunch of your nose. "I do. Surprise."

The biggest surprise, you think, is that Jungkook remembers.

"I'm glad you do, though. Feels like the collection will be in safe hands."

You know that he's mostly glad because it means the chances of Danbi coming to the exhibition will rise quite significantly, but you're not well-acquainted enough yet to tease him like that, so you just smile.

"I'll let you know, okay? I can give the folder back to Jungkook for him to pass on if I don't see you before the end of next week."

Taehyung doesn't question it, but Hoseok glances over, eyes a little narrow. He knows there's something going on there. Just isn't sure what.

"Legend," Taehyung says again despite your previous protests. "You're the best, Disco Ball."

"Stop calling me that!" You call after him to no avail. 

He just waves back and heads out the door, into the afternoon sun. You tuck the folder beneath the diary and put it into the desk organiser that the boss always checks, before scribbling out a post-it note to explain. 

Their presence in the cafe is so infrequent that you never know when they'll next be in, and you worry that you'll miss it. Sure, you could just leave it in the hands of Hoseok, but you don't entirely trust him to relay all the important information.

He clocks out just after seven, leaving you to deal with the wind-down of the day shift. It's been quiet, only a handful of customers coming in throughout the evening. The last couple in— teenagers on a first date, by the look of things—leave at nine. 

It's perfect timing, as the last entry is also at nine, meaning you don't have to worry about any latecomers staying till eleven. You can close up early, which is always a dream—especially on the shifts after a night out. The sooner you can snuggle into your own bed, the better.

It's not that you don't like Jungkook's bed. His mattress is perfectly firm, and his pillows really are to die for. It's just that nothing compares to home.

The closing routine is more work than you really care for. Restocking, cleaning, making sure everything is operational for an easy opening in the morning. 

Occasionally, you'll work a morning shift and spend the entire time finishing off jobs that staff from the night before neglected to do. It pisses you off. You've been known to leave passive-aggressive post-it notes on occasion. Always signed with a  smiley face and a kiss. Hoseok tells you that one of the other girls is gonna bitch slap you one day. You tell him good—would like to see her try. But what's a shitty job without a little drama?

It's as you're thinking about this potential conflict that your very real source of contention shows up at the door. He's dressed down, wearing a jacket that looks big enough to fit his entire friendship group within it, and a black baseball cap to hide the fact he hasn't styled his hair. 

There's something nice about seeing him like this—you so often get him in the gym, or at work— that it's pleasant to see Jeon Jungkook as a normal person. See him as other people do.

You won't clue him in on this, though.

"Last entry was twenty minutes ago, Jeon."

The grin on his face as he leans against the door frame is something he's unable to hide—and why would he? There's no need to play games. Not here. Not with you. "Ouch, last name basis? What have I done?"

"Nothing," you say and smile back. He really hasn't—you're just trying to create distance. Reinstate boundaries that had been made a little blurry. "What brings you here?"

As he walks into the room—uninvited, may you add—he looks thoughtful, eyes all wide and inquisitive. He's never visited your place of work before. You've seen his workplace what feels like a hundred times over, so it's nice for him to finally have a visual of yours. 

He won't mention that Taehyung talking about your workplace had made him curious.

It's not what he expected. For starters, he imagined there'd be far more mess—though he does notice the cleaning cloth in your hand, and how it's saturated in all shades of acrylic, so perhaps you're just diligent. 

Up two flights of stairs, the cafe occupies the top unit of a commercial building. There's a hairdresser on the floor below and a deli on the floor below that, so the entryway normally either smells like peroxide or pepperoni - no in between. Occasionally it smells like paint, too, but it's a far less intrusive scent. 

The walls are covered in canvases - ones left by customers, prints of famous works, offerings by local artists. Easels are scattered around the room, set up in pairs with small tables for the art supplies between them. Jungkook decides very quickly which spot he likes most - the easels by the window in the far corner. Thinks if he ever took a girl here on a date, that's where he'd like to sit.

Then again, he won't be doing that anytime soon - not unless one of those damn birds tells him to.

You follow his gaze to the window seats and smile. 

It's your favourite spot. S'why there's a cushion on the chair. It's for you. You sit there on your break with a book when it's quiet.

"Nothing," he says, but pulls a piece of carefully folded paper from his back pocket and tosses it down onto the counter. You glance down at it. Another fucking bird. Can see the wings don't line up. Say nothing, but slowly look back up at him. "Well, this has something to do with it. Fell while I was at the gym. Was waiting for me when I got home."

You nod. Run your tongue along your teeth as your lips purse. It's barely been half a day since the last. Hardly fair.

"Have you read it?" You ask, moving behind the counter. You're creating distance all over again. Jungkook notices. Creates his own by retreating to one of the waiting room stools, where he takes a perch.

It's gotta be a big one. He wouldn't be here if he wasn't.

He sits, hands between his legs. Seems a little agitated. Doesn't seem quite himself. "One of yours." 

But then his posture eases. He sighs. Pulls a second bird from his jacket pocket, and holds it up. "One of mine..." he opens it. Bites his bottom lip as a laugh exhales, his eyes skimming over it. With a shake of his head, he reads it aloud: "Suggest an idea you know will get rejected."

He lingers on the final syllable, but then casts his eyes up to yours. The way he stares, so piercing and domineering is an absolute head fuck. He can be so soft and gentle in one moment, then completely unrecognisable in the next. It's what has your voice so quiet as you finally give a reply.

"And have you?"

Wouldn't be here if he had, you think. Stupid question.

He confirms this.

"I'm about to."

And for some reason, it has you smirking. Heartbeat racing. 

That's the thing about Jungkook: he's unpredictable. 

You had heard from Yoongi the night before that he's started acting out of character, though in a way, it's apparently reminiscent of his 'old self'. You can't say definitely because you never knew him before he was broken, but it feels like perhaps he's healing.

"I'm intrigued," you tell him, which doesn't earn the smile you think it will.

In fact, he looks deadly serious as he says, "Promise me something?"

You're tepid as you nod. It's a no-brainer—of course you'll make a promise with him—but you can't help but be fearful of why you'd need to promise anything ahead of time. Does he not trust you?

He looks to his feet, where the toes of his right foot are perched up on the toes of his left. He's in his hightops again following a stint at the laundrette to tumble dry them. Behind the counter, so are you. "You'll hear me out first?"

"Of course I will."

"You and I..." he begins slowly. "Our friendship is good, right?"

You nod. Stupid question. "Right."

"And it's just friendship, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah?" You half-laugh. Still haven't discussed the events of last night yet.

And then almost out of the blue, Jungkook decides to really reinforce the broken boundaries.

"You fucked Jimin."

The way you cringe is borderline insane; face all scrunched up, cheeks flaming red. It was just sex. You don't know why Jungkook mentioning it seems to bother you so much. 

"Thanks for the reminder, yep," you say through gritted teeth. "I did fuck Jimin."

Still, it's not like it's the worst fuck you've ever had. There's just room for improvement. Maybe he'll redeem himself one day.

"And we're both completely emotionally unavailable?"

"Speak for yourself."

"Byeol," he smirks, amused by how often you seem to talk out of your ass. Conversations are never straightforward with you. Not entirely.

"Okay, okay!" You relent with a firm roll of your eyes. "I'm a little emotionally unavailable."

"Thanks for admitting it," he says, choosing not the question the 'a little'. You both know it should be 'completely'. "I have a question. A question before I make my suggestion."

"Go on.." you hesitate. 

"The birds. Are the birds helping?"

"With?"

"Your intimacy issues. Like say you hooked up with a randomer tomorrow, would you be able to think clearly if they suggested a shower?"

It's a good question. One that you really don't know the answer to. 

"Maybe?" you say, voice a little higher than typical. "My heart rate definitely feels a lot lower than it normally does when I consider it."

It's not a lie. Normally your hands would feel a little itchy, but you've barely broken a sweat.  You are, admittedly, thinking about the shower with Jungkook, and how platonic it had been - but maybe that's exactly it. Maybe equating these big moments to nothing scarier than friendship is what helped.

"Okay, that's good," he replies before taking a second to gather his thoughts. "The birds... They're helping me. I never would have gotten that girl's number without them. Without you."

"You're welcome, Cassanova."

"And I'm thankful," he smiles, and you can almost feel his sincerity. "I really am. Been chasing my tail for far too long."

This admission silently delights you. It's rewarding to help someone through their healing process, no matter how large or small. To be included at all is an honour.

"So?" You lean your elbows on the counter. "Your suggestion?"

He sighs. As uncomplicated as he finds your company, he still doesn't find any of this easy. There's a massive mental hurdle for him to overcome.

You get it. You really do. Even though your troubles are different, they still come from the same place. They're matters of the heart, and they're by far the hardest things to untangle yourself from. Seokjin's still got a grasp on your puppet strings, and Jungkook's former fling still has a hold on his, it would seem.

"Hey," you smile. Jungkook thinks you look warm. Homely. "Nothing to be scared of. Just me. Just us."

His brows furrow and ease all within the same second. He knows those words. Knows he used similar ones on you the night before. Perhaps he really should start listening to his own advice, because it's just what he needed to hear.

"I think... I think maybe we should just...," he pauses. Looks to his hands and then back up to you. "Say fuck it?"

You grin, bemused. "Fuck it?"

It's not an instant yes. Jungkook can't blame you for it - but it just reminds him that he has to be specific. He'd grated you about that last night, too. He can't be a hypocrite now.

"Okay, so... The birds, right?" He asks, but he isn't really asking anything. Just forming his words. Still, you nod. Encourage him to go on. "Whenever they fall, we're always like 'oh fuck,' right?"

 Again, you nod. 

"I just... I think the only reason we're hesitant to do your birds is 'cause we think we shouldn't do them. Like we think it will be a recipe for disaster... But... why? It's not like there are any confused feelings or ulterior motives. If I did your birds with you, I wouldn't be doing anything for like... my own gain? Just like you aren't with mine."

You stop yourself from interrupting. He's clearly struggling to form the words, eyes darting to his hands every time he catches your gaze.

"I know, I know," he rambles on. "You shouldn't fuck your friends. Shouldn't shit where you eat. But it's not fucking for the sake of fucking - and like, honestly, I don't actually know if any of your birds include fucking-"

"They do."

"Okay, brilliant, so they do," he laughs. Somehow a weight seems to ease. If anything, that admission should add more pressure. "It doesn't matter. Look all I'm saying is that I'm okay to do your birds, no matter how obscure they get. If that means me getting you used to sharing a shower with someone, so be it. It doesn't have to be sexual, even if the end goal will be used in that capacity."

You understand the sentiment, but there's one undeniable; your birds are all about sex.

"Kook, I wrote some pretty..." You pause. It's your turn to struggle, now. "How do I say this? ...Intimate things on my birds."

"Fear of intimacy," he nods, and then he smirks. "I know. I'm not naive to what that entails. I know I'm a boy, but give me some credit, Byeol."

"Sorry."

The smiles you exchange are delightfully insolent, just like the make-believe fairies you imagine are dancing around you right now, tickling at your skin with miniature wee pinches just to get you giggling. So childish of the pair of you to behave this way in such a serious conversation.

"What I mean is that it's being done with a purpose. It's not just sex for the sake of sex, or whatever it may be," he says. "Like if I'm fucking you, it's not fucking. It'd be like... therapy?"

"I think you'd get fired if you were my therapist," you grin. "It's so weird hearing you talk about sex knowing that you're talking about having sex with me." 

It really is all a bit strange.

"But that's the beauty of it. The stakes are at zero. There's no worry of disappointment, no worry of getting heartbroken, no worry of anything that could go wrong - the birds tell us what to do, we do it," he explains, finally able to get his words out. "And look - I won't lie - I've been out of practice for a while, so it'd probably help with my confidence, too."

You scrunch your nose a little. "That doesn't fill me with hope for your skills."

He rolls his eyes. "It's not about my skill level, Byeol. That's beyond the point. It's about your association with sex and intimacy. If we can separate your association with certain sexual acts from intimacy, then they'll seem a lot less daunting in future relationships. Like, call me crazy, but I really think this could work."

"Okay, so you are crazy... but," you begin. He laughs, knowing that you're never able to resist the role of devil's advocate. "Hypothetically speaking- we get you a date. We get you a girl you're really interested in, but there are still a fuck tonne of birds? Then what?"

"Well, by that point hopefully we'll have worked through enough of our respective issues. I'm not gonna magically become a lothario overnight, am I? It will take time," he emphasises. "By the time I'm ready for that, I'm pretty sure you'll also be ready to explore this shit with someone you actually care about."

It's funny. You do care about him. Wouldn't even be considering this if you didn't.

"I'm not convinced," you say. It's a nice idea, but there's no way your timelines will be linear. Your breakup is far fresher - but you don't realise just how deep his wounds go. Perhaps it will take him just as much time.

He nods. Appreciates your honesty. Rereads his bird. "Suggest an idea you know will be rejected. I didn't come here thinking you'd agree, Byeol, but I also don't think it's a bad idea."

"And if I do agree?"

"There's a bird already waiting," he gestures towards the one on the countertop. It's sitting, untouched by you, in a very sorry state. You really are terrible at origami. 

"Can I... have some time to think?"

His proposition is a big ask. Jungkook knows this. So far, you've been dancing around the notion of a somewhat unconventional friendship, but escalating things will really cement it. There'll likely be no going back.

And so he says, "I have a lot of trust in our friendship, Byeol. I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think we could handle it. I know it's a lot though, and I've already wasted enough of your time tonight, so I'll leave you be, okay?" He gets to his feet, and places his bird down on the counter. It's yours now. He's set it free. "Text me when you get home? Not for like, anything in particular, I don't need an answer now. Just so that I know you're home safe."

"Okay," you nod as he walks to the door. "Bye, Kook."

He glances over his shoulder and presses his lips together, his silver lip ring flipping ever so slightly. "Bye, Byeol."

There's a shift as he leaves. The air feels colder; the light dimmer. You're left with your thought and nothing but a little regret simmering in your stomach. The feeling of safety that comes with Jungkook leaves when he does. You don't like it. Want it back.

"Shit," you curse, tossing your own bird down onto the counter. Running for the door, You call after him. "Hey! Kook, wait!

By the foot of the stairs, Jungkook turns. Take a single step back up. Stops himself from walking the full distance. 

"You gotta promise me one thing," you say, but it's posed more as a question.

He'll promise you whatever you ask - within reason. "What?"

"If we do this, it won't fuck up your friendship with Jimin?"

"Why would—Ohhh," he snorts. "'Cause you fucked him."

"Yes, again, thank you for the reminder. I'm sure the entire building needs to know that."

"Shut up, there's like no one else here."

"It's the principle."

"The Jimin thing is fine," he says. He wouldn't have suggested this if he thought it would impact anything within his existing friendships. He cares about Jimin probably more than he cares for you. It's in slightly different capacities, admittedly, but that doesn't matter. "No offence, but he doesn't sit there lamenting the way you left him that night."

"Yes he does," you challenge, knowing Jungkook is absolutely correct. "Don't lie."

"Will it make you feel better if I pretend he does?"

"Yes."

"Okay, fine, he stares and the door and pines for your return like a lovesick puppy—happy?"

It's funny, 'cause it's probably what Jimin would actually say about Jungkook instead. Always a little mopier after his time spent with you is finished.

"Much happier," you grin. "But I'm serious. I don't wanna cause you issues."

"I'd be causing myself issues," he insists. "It wouldn't be your fault. But no, it'll be fine."

You take a second to breathe. Let your cheeks plumpen as air exhales from your lips. "Alright. Let's try it. The bird that fell today, let's try it, and see how it goes? If it's too weird"—

"We can back out," he nods. "No harm, no foul."

"You got anywhere to be? Wanna wait with me while I finish up and then..."

The beat of your heart is so rapid that you think you might have a heart attack—but as Jungkook makes his way up the stairs, it seems to settle. This is fine.

"And then?"

"Then we'll do the damn bird."

minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |

[dragynkeep]

My interest is piqued 👀 Please go off about Nevermore.

The thing is with Nevermore is that I like the song itself. I like the beat, and really fits with how V6, imo, has the best soundtrack out of the volumes with the exception of Big Metal Shoe.

But the lyrics are so fucking bad.

One of the biggest issues before going into specifics is that this song has Yang commenting on the Faunus racism and Adam's reaction to it when this is not her place to say anything. She does not get to tell Adam, someone who's not only a Faunus who lived in the most racist kingdom, but also had been enslaved and branded, that he was not the Faunus' saviour and that his ideals and goals were inherently selfish.

I'm even mad that Blake is saying shit about it, as I'll go into, but at least she's of the same race as him and has a leg to stand on. Yang should've just shut the fuck up.

Now going into specifics, I'm not going to go through line by line since there's some that're just alright and fit the general vibe, but I will make a comment on that it's funny that Nevermore is so focused on Adam on what he did personally to them rather than the Faunus Rights fight as a whole, while This Time actually focuses on the Faunus as a whole.

(I'm not counting that as Blake and Ghira, that stupid twat didn't do anything to actually help his daughter and Sun in the whole Menagerie arc. Plus, This Time is also incredibly tone deaf but that's what you get with anything surrounding the Faunus racism in this god forsaken show)

You talked of subjugation,

I answered your violent plea.

Youth and infatuation,

kept me too blind to see.

This part isn't so bad save for the way Blake is kinda putting herself on the same level as Adam when talking about subjugation, because she wasn't.

Before Blake even joined the White Fang, she was living with her very much alive parents, in their giant mansion, on an island that was populated solely by Faunus.

You could've gone into how overpopulation and the seemingly lesser economic wealth of Menagerie meant that Blake was nowhere on the same level as rich humans, especially Weiss, but when compared to literally every other Faunus in the show, Blake is nowhere near as oppressed as she and the show want us to believe.

And again, the whole thing of Blake being too blind to see that violence is wrong, while still using violence whenever something stands in her way, is hypocritical and annoying. Don't protest too hard, but also don't look at how I, working for a mostly human run organisation that's pretty much fantasy cops, can beat the shit outta you and preach when you guys don't protest as I want you to.

You think you're someone's hero,

you're hiding more than your eyes.

This. This is the line that started me off.

First, Yang shouldn't be saying that Adam isn't being a hero to the Faunus, or that his perception of liberating the Faunus was wrong. It's not her place at all to be saying any of this, and I would much rather just take Blake saying it because at least it's a Faunus saying this to another Faunus.

But the second line boiled my piss.

Yang knows what's under Adam's mask, specifically why he wore the White Fang mask beyond wanting to hide his identity. He was branded by the SDC in the eye, very likely blinded by it, and has had to carry that trauma and shame for the rest of his life.

To have a human come and make a comment on it, especially in the accusationary way that Yang does by equating his mask to him hiding his true desires of being glorified, is fucking racist.

I challenge your weak manifesto,

the goal of a saviour is not to be lionized.

This is also racist. Again, Yang should not be putting herself as even an opponent to Adam's ideals around Faunus liberation and protesting against the racist society they live in.

The comment to not be lionized is meant to call back to Adam's song, Lionized, in the short, but again, this should not be Yang acting like she knows what she's talking about. It's not her place to tell the Faunus anything on what they're doing for their rights, which is why I wished either the civil movements were Blake's lyrics, and Yang's just stuck to how he won't keep her scared anymore, or just fucking get rid of Yang.

I'm tired of Blake and Adam's storylines being reduced down to shitty abuse and whoever's buddying up with Blake at the moment. At least if this was Sun, it wouldn't be as racist.

One of the few times I will admit that I'm glad it's BB over Monochrome. This would've been so much worse.

Back when it started,

I thought that justice was your goal.

Not overly racist but I'm making a comment here that I hate how Adam's anger and want for revenge was reduced to spite and going against justice.

What would've been justice for him was bombing the entire SDC company. I'm tired of shows framing anger towards racialised bigotry as wrong and not justice, when it very much fucking is.

The chorus isn't anything particuarly bad. Just meh, but I do wanna say how I liked the use of Nevermore in the actual song.

You offered hope, salvation,

gave me a place to be.

But your vision of liberation was all about you,

it would never apply to me.

This being Blake's line is so funny because this is literally what she and her family has done. They have denounced the White Fang for turning to more aggressive methods, methods that Blake has admitted to be working, and yet shows no hesitation in using violence against the White Fang themselves.

Ghira literally got shot because he was too stupid to actually fight back against the clearly muderous humans attacking him, and then lectured Adam for having to kill one after dispatching most nonlethally. Now I know where Blake gets it from.

But also, Blake had a place before Adam. Again, Blake lived in Menagerie, she was the Chieftan's daughter. Blake had more power and ability to actually do something than anyone else has, especially Adam.

Can the show please acknowledge this and not jump on the Blake is powerless to do anything train?

There's no cause to celebrate,

another soul consumed by hate and spite.

Not hate and spite, justified anger towards racial violence. This stinks of the white racist writers.

There's no pleasure, there's no joy,

it's just a story of a boy who lost his way.

I'm gonna say it now, I don't get this line.

This line reads like they're talking about a whole 'nother Adam, one that actually had depth and the berevity surrounding an abused boy who didn't have the help needed to move past his trauma.

The Adam in the show is a hate sink. The writers have constantly talked about how much they hated him, his VA talked about how his lines made him ick, they behaved as if this character was a real person and not a bunch of pixels that they created and that they made into this way.

And when they decided to appropriate specifically black struggles to slap onto Adam, all for the controversy and shock value, that just makes this line even worse. Because canon!Adam wasn't this lost soul worthy of pity, because there was more to him than an abusive racist who abused one main girl and permanently disabled another.

He was a flat, one note, racist ass character that the writers used as a warning towards minorities being too traumatised and angry towards their oppressors, as opposed to the polite and meek cute girls that stand there and ask for their oppressors to maybe give them rights.

Those are the main lyrics that I wanted to highlight, and overall Nevermore really is the epitome of the wrongs behind Blake, Adam, and the Faunus' storylines. Nevermore was the conclusion of Adam and Blake's arcs, but rather than showing two people molded by hardships and having to fight with their opposing ideals, we got a queerbaited racist ass ship with the white bitch deciding she's allowed to speak at this TED talk.

Girl you shouldn't even be sitting at the table, gtf outta here.

[xjustonemoremiraclex]

rwrb thoughts from someone who hasn't read the book (yet)

The good/general thoughts:

pleasantly surprised by the acting! which I know sounds mean, but listen, I saw these guys in other things and I wasn't suuuper into them, so it was a nice surprise lol

THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO again, pleasantly surprised by that lol they played off each other SO well

10/10 soundtrack, it definitely took inspiration from older rom-coms and I loved it <3

PS I really liked all the side characters! I wish we'd gotten to spend a little more time with some of them, but everyone was pretty great <3 also, all the women were awesome, and I am very gay and very in love <3

Ok, I really, REALLY liked how they showed the two of them texting each other, and the whole editing around it. It was pretty cute

I was living for all the latine songs at the new year's party, that was a nice touch

ok, when everyone was getting down at the party and alex and henry stayed up and stared at each other and time slowed down, I know it was supposed to be romantic, but I have to say it: it was also the funniest shit I've ever seen lol

henry at the party is giving both 'i have social anxiety and my only friend here is a social butterfly and keeps leaving to be with other people send help' and 'i thought you invited me here as a first date kind of thing but you're dancing and making out with other people and i'm feeling so betrayed rn :('

'christ you're as thick as it gets *kiss*' LMAO

Listen, I'm not usually into rom-coms (I say, like a liar), but I was pretty happy with the writing, in general. I laughed at all the funny parts, got emotional over all the dramatic ones and swooned at the romance bits. Great job, everyone

'I just can't afford for you to fall in love with me' LMAO babe, we're WAY past that. On both sides

ok, full disclosure: I don't really like sex scenes all that much (there's nothing wrong with them, I'm just very ace lol), so I usually just use my phone while they're happening, and while I did that a little bit here too, I was still paying attention, and honestly, they were pretty sweet. They did a good job. And, like, I have no idea why the film was R-rated lol you literally don't see anything

again, love the little montages that show the passing of time, while also showing they're keeping in touch and getting to know each other better and stuff. It makes the relationship between the two and the way it's developing feel a bit less rushed, which is nice

ZAHRA MY MOST BELOVED

YES PLEASE I WANT TO SEE THAT POWERPOINT PRESENTATION THANK YOU

KARAOKEEEE

alex giving an impassioned romantic speech to henry, about to confess his love: // henry:

'I didn't want to break his heart' - oh, honey, you already did :(

'to tell you that I love you, knowing that you wouldn't say it back' brb sobbing

NOT CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE 😭😭😭

'because when they write the history of my life, I want it to include you and my love for you' help i'm dying 😭😭😭😭😭😭

MIGUEL DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW IT WAS YOU please die in a fire <3

alex's speech was really good by the way 🥺

LOVESICK HOMOSEXUALS LMAO ZAHRA MY BELOVED

'baby' screaming crying throwing up jgdkfk

I FORGOT THE KING WAS STEPHEN FRY why is this so funny to me

SEQUEL WHEN

The... less good?/general questions:

Kinda wish there'd been a bit more enemies in my enemies-to-lovers film

'he just grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and footbal'' - please, I beg you, someone smarter than me - what the fuck does this mean 😭 ppl are LIVING for this quote and I'm like ??????

this is probably me being stupid and ignorant lol but why would alex's relationship cost his mum the election? like, from what I've seen, her government has been very pro-queer, that's not really a secret, so her son being queer and in a relationship with a man shouldn't lose her any voters..? the people who are against 'the queers' were not going to vote for her in the first place, soooo..? me is confused

honestly, this is probably an unpopular opinion, but... the king was not that bad? like, i'm not saying he's not kind of homphobic and kind of a dick lol but i get the impression that everything stems from the whole thing about sticking to tradition and public image and bla bla. Like, again, obviously, part of that involves homophobia, but I think that on a personal level, he... doesn't really care? Even at the end, he's like 'ok, are you absolutely sure about this, cause there's no going back. Yes? Really? Well, go off I guess *long-suffering sigh*'. Like, I got way more homophobic vibes from phillip than the king idk 🤷‍♀️ (I really hope I don't have to clarify that this only applies to the film, and not like, the real life crown lol)

Sooo, as I said, I haven't read the book yet, but I've seen some posts about it, and I think after watching the film I've realized that it's biggest flaw is that it's that - a film. It's a great film, don't get me wrong! And it's pretty obvious I really liked it. But damn, I'm a firm believer that book adaptations only work as series. They don't have to be super long or anything, but there is just no way to fit everything in a book in a two hour film. And yeah, when you're adapting something you have to make some changes, but Idk, it's kind of a shame that you lose so much (and even without reading the book, I can tell there's a lot of stuff missing). In any case, I can't talk too much about it until I read the book, but yeah 🤷‍♀️ It does seem like they did a good job, though - like, it genuinely can stand on its own really well, but I guess I'll have to find out for myself

Also, tagging @silassstingy bc I promised her my thoughts on the film and she might give me some interesting insights on some of the stuff I mentioned, cause she's a queen like that <3

[fryingpan1234567]

MALCONNOR HEADCANONS I FELL DOWN A RABBITHOLE WHEEE

As much as Connor loves it when Malcolm is serious and distinguished, he loves it more when he lets his walls down and acts like a teenager. When he laughs really hard at a joke Leo’s just told, without hiding his smile with a hand or his shirt collar. When his cheeks are all puffed out like a chipmunk because he’s just shoved half a peanut butter sandwich in his mouth. When Annabeth bestows upon him a pink feathery boa and he’s dancing around the Athena cabin with his siblings, singing along to the Disney Hercules soundtrack, spinning the littles around. Every time Connor sees a moment like that, he falls more in love

Speaking of singing!! They’re both actually decent lol but Malcolm is better— it’s not uncommon to wander past these idiots at any given point in the day and hear them singing some cheesy Disney duet shit like they’re already married

It’s been said before but the Hermes cabin is narrowly beating the Athena cabin for Best Zombie Apocalypse Survival Plan and Connor DOES NOT LET MALCOLM FORGET IT

Connor is more openly flirty, but it’s so easy to get him to blush Malcolm barely has to try

Literally all it takes is one wink from across the room or pressing a kiss to the underside of Connor’s jaw in passing (height difference my beloved) and Connor can’t function for like an hour

The shovel talk both of these two would get Jesus Christ

Malcolm’s favorite pillow is Connor’s chest

Also Connor is the only person who can get Malcolm to step away from his work for much-needed care

Because that dumbass will not sleep and eat for days at a time

Yeah they use pet names but they also call each other Con and Mal (DC and Descendants crossover? No way?)

They’re both fuckin Disney nerds smh (SAME HONESTLY)

Malcolm likes theater and musicals and Connor’s more into Marvel and Star Wars and things like that

Constant teasing, but no harmful pranks or anything like that lol

Malcolm is a morning person. Connor is not.

Most mornings, Con wakes up to Mal laying on top of him just like when they fell asleep, soft music coming from Malcolm’s phone on the nightstand while he reads some book waiting for Connor to wake up

Con is more of a no shirt + sweats kind of pajama person and Mal is more oversized shirt (probably Connor’s) and shorts/ nothing underneath

BOTH OF WHICH, I MIGHT ADD, ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE TO THE OTHER AND IT CAUSES SOME FOCUS PROBLEMS THAT MEAN GETTING READY IN THE MORNINGS TAKES FIVE TIMES LONGER THAN IT NEEDS TO

Malcolm doesn’t drink, but he does get all delirious and shit when he’s super sleep deprived

Connor definitely drinks, but he just gets (somehow) more affectionate than normal

PDA to the max

Sparring!! All the sparring tropes!! It fits them!!

(Pinned to the wall/ ground? Both of them breathing heavily, faces inches apart? Going ‘fuck it’ and making out? USING THAT DISTRACTION TO GET THE UPPER HAND? Please)

The older sibling shadow gets talked about too much but. It’s true

They’re both night owls but Connor lasts longer because Malcolm gets up earlier

Con’s got the longest most complicated coffee order ever and then Mal will just be like “iced black coffee” and Connor’s just. Astounded. Every time

”HOW DO YOU DRINK THAT SHIT?” “It’s good, you’re just not used to it.” “THAT IS SO NASTY.” “Sweetheart, that drink you have could kill you if you get it enough times.” “BABE. NO. THAT WOULD KILL ME AFTER LIKE ONE SIP.”

Coffee dramatics aside, their food taste is actually pretty similar

They like the same snacks and candy and everything, at least

When they’re doin the competitive thing they call each other by their last names

They both would trade each other for a corn chip to win Uno (“DRAW SIX BABY BOY” “I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU”)

[the-masked-reviewer]

The Super Mario Bro. Movie (2023) Review

Potential spoilers ahead...

This movie brought in the various Mario games really well. Some notable references include Luigi's Haunted Mansion while Luigi is in the dark lands, the jungle being all karts, the hat from Odyssey, and the barrels from DK. The fight scene between Mario and DK shows various other gorillas in the background, the rainbow road, and the star power in the final fight as well. There could've been more Yoshi, in my opinion, only showing a Yoshi herd and an egg in the background wasn't nearly enough. They also included aspects of players interacting with the world; such as players driving off rainbow road to gain an advantage, and learning to play the game the same way Mario learns on the practice course Peach shows him.

The animation feels like a combination of video game animation and cinematic animation. The movie's writing does an excellent job of committing to the bit; with the plumbing bit, Bowser's love for Peach, Mario being short, and Luigi being a coward are great examples. On the note of Luigi being a coward, it is clearly only there to make the dark lands/haunted mansion sequence make narrative sense.

The budget for the music in this movie is absolutely crazy and the amount of popular well-known songs on the soundtrack is insane (they could have used some of that money for…actual actors but we're not talking about that yet). During the big party at Bowser's, you can see his kids in the band, so respect the musical talents of the large ass turtles. The song "Peaches" is just as good is I had been lead to believe, and its honestly better than it should be considering what it actually is (Thank you Jack Black, you are a God).

The actual story of the movie was very interesting and manages to appeal to fans of all the different styles of Mario games. The best character in the whole movie is easily the blue star in Bowser's prison, hands down. The ending is clearly setting up for more movies and yet another franchise movie giant.

To top it all off, there's the issue with the casting and vocal performances. They should have just hired actual voice actors, not just actors who had names studio executives felt were big enough to gain attention. Jack Black, however, was fucking amazing. For starters, he did actually have voice acting experience, and Jack Black committed to the bit and was able to be thoroughly convincing in sounding like Bowser. Jack Black was easily the best VO performance in the entire movie, and if he wasn't in it, I'm not sure I'd've been able to finish the movie. Both Chris Pratt and Seth Rogan obviously didn't get the memo about committing to the bit. The beginning of the movie shows us Pratt doing the voice and the accent, but they come up with an excuse to get him to Not commit to the bit and instead he just talks like himself for the rest of the film. Pratt should've committed or just not done it at all. On top of that, you have Rogan saying in an interview that he told the casting department before they got him on board that "if I do it, I'm doing it as me" and after they heard that, they should have just walked away and found someone who would actually play Donkey Kong in way way that would wake the final product what it deserved to be.

[ithinkineedamoment]

1. Neon Bible - Arcade Fire

1 of 1000 - Recordings

This project is almost 15 years in the making. Had I been wiser at the debilitating age of 12, I’m sure writing for the sake of writing would have come to me a hell of a lot more naturally than it does now.

Regardless of that, it looks like a 26 year old me is finally getting around to it.

At the tail end of 2010 - I was living in Ramstein, Germany where I found a copy of Tom Moon’s 1000 Recordings to Hear Before You Die. I (my dad) bought it for $15 and there I went becoming evermore insufferable thinking I’m the first person who ever discovered 10 by Pearl Jam. I quickly found two more versions of the “1000... before you die” list - movies and places. Armed with these three lists, I set out to conquer the “best” of the “best” and do obviously do it before I die.

Lofty goals.

But I’ll unpack that I’m sure in a later essay.

Since that time, I’ve plowed through 430 albums, 574 movies, and 142 places. But what of it? What does it matter? Is it enough to watch “Schindler’s List” in a double feature with “The Sound of Music” once and think I can fully process what I’ve experienced? Fuck no!

So in an effort to combat that insanity - I’m starting this project. I will write something on each and every entry of these lists. Will some be long? Absolutely. Will some be short? I hope so. But what is the point of consuming what is meant to be essentials of a lifetime and not give it a second thought? There is of course the argument that these lists are arbitrary and are actually heinously filtered through the lens of old, Cis, straight, white men and women. This idea will undoubtedly come up several if not a thousand times and I don’t think I can ignore it. What I’ve gained, however, from venturing down this yellow brick road of content is greater than the sum of its parts and that is what is interesting to me. How has inundating myself with this “canon” for most of my life shaped who I am and where has it led me?

So as an artist who is constantly stonewalled by the mere act of creation, I asked myself - where do I start? How does this project begin?

Randomly, obviously. I had Sergio scroll through the lists and pick whatever caught his eye.

Somehow, picking Neon Bible by Arcade Fire makes sense.

With this very first entry I begin with The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, the 2013 adventure comedy starring and directed by our pal Ben Stiller. For the uninitiated, this movie features Ben Stiller as Walter Mitty, an employee at Life magazine who is forced on a Carmen San Diego-esque adventure to find Sean Penn in the mountains taking pictures of snow leopards. And it ROCKS.

Everything from the settings to the humor to Adam Scott’s haircut screams the spirit of adventure. I remember sitting in the theater watching this movie having goose bumps down my arms as Mr. Stiller ran for that plane - reading the Life Magazine motto: “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, to draw closer, to find each other, and to feel, that is the purpose of life.”

Fuck meeee, it’s good.

My depressed ass sat there smiling and crying - thinking of how much of the world was out there - all the places I’ve never been and the adventures I’ve never been on. It was enough to keep me going, even if it was only for the rest of the day.

The part that I really want to draw attention to, however, is the song that plays over the scene that I just mentioned. As the words of the motto appear hidden in the scenery, a sick fucking guitar lick kicks in. Suddenly, the absolutely bonkers Arcade Fire hit, “Wake Up” is blaring through the speakers and I am transcended. From their 2005 debut album Funeral, “Wake Up” has been included on all sorts of best songs of 2004, the decade, the century, of all time lists. With lyrics touching on the embarrassment of youth and the gift of growing up, it’s one of the most inspirational songs I’ve ever heard...

(until I listened to the soundtrack and realized that to SOME people, the song “Wake Up” was never in the movie and instead the absolutely DNA-altering Jose Gonzalez song, “Step Out” took its place. Dear Reader, please note it’s a detail I’m moving on from since these songs exist simultaneously in my head for the same reason and since I have Google I found out a licensing issue made us all watch a different version of the movie. Leave me alone).

Ever since that day - whenever I’ve embarked on a new journey, I’ve played these songs. When my plane took off from Germany back to the states, when I walked on my college campus for the first time, whenever I start a new job - they become the soundtrack to my life. “Children, Wake up” to “House on fire leave it all behind you”. It’s the music to my proverbial first steps into my new life.

So again, it’s fitting then, that the first recording, the very first essay of this project, is Neon Bible by Arcade Fire. Their sophomore album released in 2007, Neon Bible is an extrospective triumph of organs and religiosity exposing the world for what it truly is in this post-9/11 hellscape. Full of angst and persistent drums, it’s truly no wonder how this album crosses the boundaries of what is Indie and what is mainstream.

Relistening to the album this morning and thinking about this project, it almost makes too much sense to start here despite its randomness. Take for example the opening track, “Black Mirror” which in my sleep depravity I could have sworn was the intro to “Changes” by David Bowie. Here, Win Butler muses on the notion of the “black mirror”, an unrelenting echo of all the worst parts of ourselves and our world. Impossible to separate from the contemporary connotations of the words “black mirror”, we quickly realize this album is not interested in the joyous release of

Funeral. We’re confronted with screens, cameras, and content - the black mirror of a sleeping iphone or of a buffering video. What does it mean to see ourselves in that reflection? We’re beholden to it.

As we continue through the album, we’re bombarded with rising crescendos of emotions that dissipate uneasily like unlit waves at night - “Black Wave”. There is no comforting exaltation or resolution of discord. It’s isolating! Butler says so himself in “Intervention”: “We’ll go at it alone”. As the number of black mirrors around us increases, the time spent as an individual also increases. It’s interesting that so much of the imagery evoked in Neon Bible is that of the ocean - black, reflective, ever expansive. This brings to mind another song from a few years later: Los Campesinos!’s “The Sea is a Good Place to Think of the Future.” It should be obvious enough from the title as to why I think this is relevant. The rocking guitar of this jam sways back and forth like the crashing of waves as the lyrics wax poetic on what it means to be alone - “and all you can hear, is the sound of your own heart” - and how hopelessly small you can feel in front of an unchanging ocean before you - “A thousand years, no getting rid of me”.

This cynicism, this anger, I feel is what fuels this album. There is no joy in the face of the “Ocean of Noise” in front of us. There is no reconciliation at the church of the “Neon Bible.” There is nothing new I can say on our modern relationship with technology or media here that hasn’t been said already in a New York Times Op-ed. We are losing control of ourselves to an ocean of influences, media, thoughts, and content. We can scream, and we can shout, but the only escape - according to Arcade Fire - is the place where “No Cars Go”, the liminal space between turning off the lights and before we fall asleep. There, we are finally free from the world and all its power over us. This is the craven freedom that brings the album its only truly joyous song.

So I guess it’s now that I’ve realized the point of this essay - the point of this whole project. I’ve spent years of my life thumping the bible of a church that doesn’t care about me. These lists have become a religion - a system of other people’s beliefs in what should be exalted and glorified. I’ve consumed the content I was told to consume and thought what I was told to think. I don’t think that I’m alone in wanting to challenge “the canon” either. There will always be an unavoidable conflict between what is experienced and what should be experienced; I’m just no longer interested in justifying one over the other. I refuse to let the ocean carry me away. Just as Arcade Fire has ushered me into new phases of my life, Arcade Fire will now usher in a personal rebellion that hopefully will manifest itself across this project where I can Reflektor on what it means to be me.

I have no idea what this rebellion will look like - but my body will no longer be its cage.