#but he's good. that's irrefutable. all of these actors are so good and he was here from the start

[teach463146]

What do you think about the premise of Freud and Lewis having a discussion together? Is this how the two men would have interacted had they met?

Matthew Goode: I know that some people will feel like it should have been more heated and shouty, but one thing I’m proud about is that the film didn’t become that. It’s nuanced, and complicated, and less about point-scoring.

And it’s about a man who’s at the end of his life, who was pretty angry about the pain that he’s had to endure. He’s lined C. S. Lewis up like a bullseye, and he’s a human dart flying at it. And that was Lewis’s job, to parry these barbs that are sent his way.

We all know that Jesus existed; that’s irrefutable. But neither man can prove or disprove whether he was the Son of God. It’s actually what unites them. And that’s the beauty of faith. So I think that’s exactly how it would’ve gone. I think they’d have had a really great friendship.

[filmnoirfoundation]

NOIR CITY Hollywood continues tonight at the American Cinematheque: THE HUNTED (35mm), 3:00 PM in 35mm & CALL NORTHSIDE 777 / LARCENY (35mm), 7:30 PM. Eddie Muller in person! Tickets and schedule: https://bit.ly/3pJBmcV 3:00 PM THE HUNTED 35mm print courtesy of the Film Noir Foundation collection at UCLA Film & Television Archive Introduced by Eddie Muller Screenplay by Steve Fisher Directed by Jack Bernhard Paroled after serving a prison term for her part in a jewel heist, Laura Mead (Belita) returns to the city looking to reclaim her life. Waiting in the shadows is her former boyfriend, detective Johnny Saxon (Preston Foster) —who may have railroaded her into the pen out of jealousy. Is Laura ready to forgive… or make good on her jailhouse threat to kill the men who sent her up? THE HUNTED may seem formulaic on the surface, but it’s the one-two punch of Steve Fisher’s screenplay and Belita’s performance that elevates it above so many of its B-movie peers. The former stands out due to its crackling dialogue and the latter for its idiosyncratic grit. A hypnotic twist on the femme fatale tale, resurrected from obscurity in a 35mm preservation print funded by the Film Noir Foundation. 7:30 PM CALL NORTHSIDE 777

Introduced by Eddie Muller Screenplay by Jerome Cady and Jay Dratler, based on news articles by James P. McGuire Directed by Henry Hathaway Jimmy Stewart is terrific as P.J. McNeal, a Chicago newspaper reporter determined to free a convicted killer (Richard Conte) he believes has been unfairly imprisoned for eleven years. Despite a mountain of seemingly irrefutable evidence, McNeal follows his gut and unravels a string of bad luck and miscommunication that would appear unbelievable were it not based on a true story. Stewart rarely ventured into the noir world, but when he did his heroism took on an obsessive bent, giving his performances a notable edge. The first Hollywood feature to be shot entirely on location in Chicago, CALL NORTHSIDE 777 also boasts fantastic cinematography by Joseph MacDonald and stellar supporting performances by Conte, Lee J. Cobb, and Helen Walker. Winner of the Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America for Best Motion Picture of 1948. Followed by: LARCENY, 89 Minutes, Universal Pictures, USA. Screenplay by Williams Bowers, Herb Margolis, and Lou Morheim, based on the novel The Velvet Fleece by Lois Eby and John C. Fleming Directed by George Sherman John Payne and Dan Duryea play dandy grifters bent on bilking a wealthy war widow (Joan Caulfield) into funding a non-existent war memorial. Both these sharpies get tangled up with saucy Shelley Winters, who’s more dangerous than a loaded .38! George Sherman may not wield the directorial heft of his studio peers, but he clears out plenty of space for his actors to shine, and they fire off Bowers’ one-liners faster than speeding bullets. You know things have been morally compromised when Percy Helton, of all people, is playing an upstanding citizen. We once had to screen this riotously entertaining, little-known gem in 16mm (at NOIR CITY 4), but we’re thrilled to now show it in a glorious 35mm print courtesy of Universal Pictures.

[some-french-asshole]

My (totally irrefutable) opinion on Ingo and Emmet's different Voice Actors that nobody asked for:

(Sources: Pokemon Masters EX and the Pokemon anime season 14 episodes 48 an 49 as well as some random clips from what I can only assume is the 15th season)

Japanese VA anime

Ingo: 9/10, SUCH A SOFT AND GENTLE VOICE (a very breathy voice at times too), fitting for his more reserved personality but there's a real lack of energy, that Oomph that is oh so present when he's more enthusiastic

Emmet: 50/10, IT'S SO ENERGETIC AND DYNAMIC!!! THERE'S SO MUCH PERSONALITY EMANATING FROM HIS VOICE!! I would have expected a calmer one for him tho, it would have been perfect if his and Ingo's voice had been swapped in the anime

Japanese VA PM EX

Ingo: 8/10, sounds like Yuichi Nakamura but with a higher pitched voice, LOUD, very enthusiastic, AGAIN VERRRYYYY LOUD (but in an endearing way)

Emmet: 7/10 sounds like a hentai protagonist with a very slight lisp... listen to it, you'll understand), overall REALLY cute, pretty fitting, I do wish he didn't sound so young

English VA anime

Ingo: 1000/10, PERFECTION, AMAZING, GOD HE SOUNDS INCREDIBLE, beautiful stoic man with a deep voice, YESSSSSSSSS (in some scenes it does sound a bit forced, like the VA was clearly trying to make his voice as deep as possible which kinda broke the illusion but shhhhhhh)

Emmet: 999/10 EXTREMELY GOOD TOO, very sexy voice sir, tho I feel it doesn't fit him all that well? That voice is amazing but a slightly higher pitched, softer voice would have suited him better I think. It really is a shame since the VA is so great, he sounds so naturally cartoony (if that makes sense?)

English VA PM EX

Ingo: 7/10, sounds good but a bit generic, it lacks in sincerity, could be louder

Emmet: 10/10 very cute, very fitting, sounds slightly ominous and menacing, overall very robotic so it's perfect for him!!

(Bonus) French VA anime

Ingo: -19364820/10 WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THIS, WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD TRYING TO SOUND LIKE A 30 YEAR OLD DUDE, I AM CRYING, WHO WROTE THAT SCRIPT

Emmet: -19364819/10 WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THIS, WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD TRYING TO SOUND LIKE A 30 YEAR OLD DUDE, I AM CRYING, WHO WROTE THAT SCRIPT, a little better than Ingo tho

(Other Bonus) Italian VA anime:

Ingo: 9/10, a gentle but firm voice, so soothing!! This is probably the one that sounds the most like an actual 25+ y/o man (CURSE THE SUBMAS FOR NOT HAVING A CANON AGE)

Emmet: 8/10 very good too, slightly higher pitched and more breathy, not a bad performance at all!! However I find it a little... unremarkable? Idk, I sounds quite generic to me. Still very soothing to listen to!

[lorem-text-backup]

Where Secrets Flow Like Water

In 1912—108 years ago today—one of California’s most celebrated  performers was born. In his heyday, Gary Golden was hailed as one of  Hollywood’s brightest stars. Now, sixty years after his last film, his  star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame serves as a landmark for visiting  cinephiles, and fresh bouquets with elaborately written cards continue  to show up on the actor’s grave in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

But  his ghost does not watch over the famous graveyard along with Rudolph  Valentino and Clifton Webb; instead, some way further than six feet  under, Gary has built an unlife for himself in the Hollywood Warrens,  and it’s there we were given the opportunity to meet with him a few  nights ago.

Gary Golden has been a fixture in Los Angeles longer  than he’s been kindred, and as a former movie star, he has a unique  advantage; in a world of masks and facades, Gary is a professional  actor.

“We’re all actors in our own way, Eliot. Consummate  liars and manipulators by nature. You show me an “honest vampire” and  I’ll show you a walking contradiction”

As a former star of  the silver screen, it comes as no surprise that Gary’s previous  experience has come in handy following his embrace. When one is  accustomed to spending time with people who lie and perform for a  living, it becomes easier to read between the lines and discern the  actual meaning behind someone’s words. And in kindred society, a world  filled with intricacies, court intrigue, and politics, that is  undoubtedly a very valuable talent to have in your corner.

However,  beyond his, as Gary put it, “built-in bullshit detector”, another skill  from his past the Nosferatu Primogen has come to rely on his charisma.

While  the first instinct of many a recently embraced kindred would be to lay  low and keep to themselves, Gary was quick to make a name for himself,  and if you want a name to last, you need the charisma to carry it. The  proof of his skills in charisma is irrefutable as, hate him or love him,  those who haven’t heard of Gary Golden can be counted in one hand.

On  the Night Owl Gazette, we have spoken before about the different venues  and opportunities dealing in information offers -more notably in the  cases of The Archivist and The Spider who are both notorious for their  skill in discovering secrets and hidden knowledge- yet from within the  mystery and intrigue that gives such careers a Bond air, a question  arises; what does the world look like when one has access to so much  information?

“Well, I was already kind of a hard-boiled cynic  before the Embrace, and if anything, this has only reinforced my  views.[…] Everyone who is anyone in Kindred society has done something  they aren’t proud of, and you will find those skeletons in the closet if  you dig deep enough. It’s hard to be anything but sarcastic once you’re  privy to all those gory details…world’s gone mad and has -always- been  that way. In short, I’m a pessimist, and probably always going to be  that way.”

When you work with information, disillusionment  can become a daily occurrence; soon enough, you start to expect it, so  the grim nature of Gary’s response was far from unexpected. However,  perhaps exactly due to that, I was surprised by the afterthought that  followed;  

“But sometimes something catches you by surprise,  and you hold on to that hope for change, maybe this time the world might  be getting just a little bit better, and staying that way.”

As  a self-proclaimed cynic, the feeling behind Gary’s initial response  makes sense. However, it seems there is a sliver of light in this  cynic’s heart, and it’s a good thing too; after all, eternity is a long  time to spend without hope.

They say death is only the end if you  assume the story is about you, but for Gary Golden death merely marked  the beginning of Act Two.

And the show must go on.

Eliot Wilde, journalist and writer for Night Owl and host of Night Owl FM

[thethermocline]

Bagginshield >:)

....😑

You troublemaker, you know quite well.

I did say I was looking for controversy.

Right, I hate this pairing. It wasn't really a thing until the movies came out, and...I mean. It's not my thing. For one thing, I watched a lot of people go from shipping John and Sherlock to shipping Bilbo and Thorin. The Sherlock fandom... is not my fandom, but I am unfortunately intimately aware of it nevertheless. Not my cup of tea. Could write a whole essay on it, but I'll restrain myself. When the Hobbit movies came out I even saw Bilbo/Smaug being considered because that way both the actors were the same, but I guess Thorin's whole knock off Aragorn shtick won them over.

But whatever, right? I don't really care if people have ships that I don't, it doesn't effect me.

But here's the thing. Not ONLY is it now TRAGICALLY HARD for me to get good bilbo fic that isn't about this ship, NOT ONLY do I see very silly takes on tumblr about it (I have genuinely seen a post that was like "omg how could Tolkien not have known he was writing the greatest love story of all time when he wrote Bilbo and Thorin??") BUT, people will come onto my posts, and my fics, and make predictions for what's going to happen next entirely predicated on the assumption that I ship Bagginshield.

It gets tedious, that's all I'm saying. I never like fandom homogeny, particularly when it's about something that isn't even canon.

And... about that. The stuff people talk about from the movies... It's just gaybaiting. And I'm so over that. It's just...I have sympathy for wanting representation. I want representation. But there's a difference between being like "I think these characters would be good together, so I'm gonna make fan content about it" and "omg it's so totally canon here's an essay with irrefutable proof." Darlings. Canon pairings don't need essays. You deserve better than that.

I like Thorin so much. Really do. I love Bilbo. One of my absolute favorite characters. But who they are and how they relate to each other is very different in the book and the movies. I prefer the first. I really don't care if other people prefer the second - I hope y'all are having fun - but it is important to me that y'all know that your experiences are not universal. Also, please tag your stuff so I can filter it all out properly.

[mytwdblog]

the negan stans are so funny because they’ll say stuff like:

“[said character did this bad thing that isn't on the same moral level as negan's actions]

[this bad thing that said character did that is treated in canon as the bad thing it is and said character is held accountable for, when negan's actions aren't treated as such nor is negan held accountable for]

[a character did a bad thing that is understandable in a zombie apocalypse, unlike negan's actions, e.g., r*ping women and intentionally creating a system that exploits them, especially disabled or sick women]

[a bad thing said character did that isn't as bad as negan's actions, yet they have suffered far worse for it than negan has for his]

[some comment along the lines of ‘negan was just murdering and terrorizing people to keep people in line/to create order in a post-apocalyptic world’ and they somehow think this is ok despite seeing multiple communities live in peace with each other and fairly trade for food and supplies without the violence negan caused]

[abuse apology]

[rape apology]

[racist comments]

[something that is the result of writing that doesn't make sense that anyone one with the most basic critical thinking skills should be able to see]

[something that is false]

[misogynistic comments]

[something ableist]

[victim blaming statements]

[something a character did that the negan stans have intentionally taken out of context to make said character look like they are on the same moral level as negan]

[something that amc wants viewers to believe because they know they can get more money if they get people to believe it]

[something they wouldn't believe if amc wasn't pushing it and making money off of it]

[some comment along the lines of ‘negan isn’t a r*pist because he says he’s not a r*pist’ like thousands of r*pist haven’t gotten away with r*pe because of statements like that]

[some statement defending negan’s misogyny, ableism, fat shaming of olivia and/or abuse while claiming to be against those things]

[some comment in which they admit they do not understand the difference between a totalitarian dictator and the people who are subjugated, despite most of them living in and/or witnessing the horrors of a totalitarian state]

[some fatphobic comment against ann mahoney (olivia's actress) for saying something true (i.e., something they don’t want to hear), but gets mad when someone rightfully calls out jdm for the problematic things he says and does (e.g., the time jdm wore a ‘blue lives matter’ shirt and posted a rant against people who rightfully called him out on it. but they say that listen to lizzo and they think it makes their fat shaming ok]

[something a character did that they don't see as bad when negan does it, even if he does it worse than said character]

[some derogatory and/or misogynistic comment about sherry, tina, amber, frankie, and the other women negan r*ped, as well as any woman who doesn't like negan, discrediting them when they say something true (i.e., something that they don't want to hear) about negan]

[some comment about how they think the alexandrians are abusing their poor precious innocent little baby negan and about how they think the alexandrians need to suffer because the negan stans think anything that isn’t them letting negan r*pe anyone he wants, go wherever he wants, do whatever he wants, talk to anyone he wants, and murder anyone he wants for any reason he wants whenever he wants (i.e., not being punished at all) somehow constitutes as abuse. somehow doesn't see their hypocrisy]

[some comment along the lines of 'all rick and co had to do was fall in line with negan no matter how cruel and brutal he was, let him kill and terrorize innocent people, rape, and kill children’]

[a racist and misogynistic comment towards michonne about how they think he could run alexandria better that her, despite negan losing a war, several of his own people turning against him, simon (his own right hand man), being unable to keep simon in line TWICE (that we know about), people running away from the community he ran, knowingly sending his own people to die, the community he was leading falling, and none of his former followers coming to his aid because these are totally qualities of a good leader (note the sarcasm)]

[them saying a statement that basically boils down to 'of course i love female characters, but they have to love negan, worship negan, make their whole lives revolve around negan, do whatever negan says no questions asked, let negan r*pe them whenever he wants, and not call negan out on his flaws' and if you call the negan stans out on it they'll call you the misogynist]

[brings up something that the negan stans themselves do and a lot worse than said character]

[some comment about how they think rick fairly negotiating with hilltop for a fair trade is on the same moral level as negan threatening, killing, and terrorizing innocent people]

[judges maggie's morality solely on one of the most justifiable murders in twd but thinks negan should get away with murdering innocent people. somehow doesn't see the hypocrisy of this either]

[some comment that shows the negan stans conveniently "forget" anything that doesn't suit their own narrative, e.g., the fact that the saviors attacked rick's group first]

[something that is actually negan's fault, but isn’t framed as such]

[something that jdm said because he knows he will stay on the show and get paid more money if he can get people to believe negan walks on water, and because he gets paid by amc, who makes money by getting people to believe a certain narrative]

[something another actor, a producer, chris hardwick, or someone else associated with twd and/or amc said because they'd get fired if they said otherwise]

[something that ignores the character development of the character they are slandering]

[some comment that shows they don't have the most basic grasp possible on the geography of the country where a lot of them live]

[additional comments that show they don't have critical thinking skills]

[some comment along the lines of ‘i liked glenn but [justifies negan killing him/unfairly criticizes the love of his life/says things glenn wouldn't believe]']

[some comment along the lines 'i don't hate maggie but [some comment about how think they know better than her/ some misogynistic comment about her/unfair criticism of her/some comment that show they they are unwilling to sympathize with her on the most basic human to human level possible]']"

and think its irrefutable evidence that negan is the moral heart of twd 

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2020 - Best TV Show

It was prime time for TV in 2020, with many more free hours to fill. I managed to get through a lot of my backlog in fact, finally getting around to watching shows like The Strain. It’s a show about a deadly disease that tears society apart because a lot of arrogant people think they are exempt from quarantining. The disease turns people into vampires, so it’s technically escapism. Here are the Aarons for Best TV Show: 

#10. The Plot Against America (Miniseries) - HBO

It’s not TV, it’s not HBO, it’s real life. The Wire-creator David Simon’s penchant for illustrating the human fallout of institutional failures made him a perfect collaborator for HBO’s Plot Against America, an adaptation of Phillip Roth’s alternate-history novel. Following a Jewish family in New Jersey navigating the increasingly-fascist America of a hypothetical Charles Lindbergh administration, the show is a terrifying warning of what happens when hatred and conspiracy theories are allowed to accumulate political force. Notably, while the book ends with history back on the right track, the closing moments here are left ambiguous. The show was a limited series, but in many ways, The Plot Against America is ongoing.

#9. Mrs. America (Miniseries) - FX

Its interests are married to The Plot Against America, but Mrs. America traces the country’s rising extremism from a more historically accurate perspective. The miniseries centers on political activists in the 1970s on opposing sides of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment, but its dialogue isn’t a strict dichotomy. The episodic format is expertly utilized to build out intersectional ideas from the likes of Rose Byrne’s Gloria Steinem, Uzo Aduba’s Shirley Crisholm, and Margo Martindale’s Bella Abzug, detailing the difficulties in building a diverse coalition, and the dangers of a single-minded one. Drawing parallels to current debates, its compelling centerpiece is how conservative Phylis Shafley (Cate Blanchett) successfully defeats the Amendment; voting against your own self-interests, Mrs. America says, is as American as apple pie.

#8. The Outsider (Miniseries) - HBO

Societal collapse comes from within in the two shows mentioned above, but the threat in HBO’s adaptation of Stephen King’s 2018 novel is decidedly an “other.” King clearly had his mind on modern manipulations of truth when crafting the ingenious premise: a man is arrested for the murder of two young boys due to irrefutable DNA evidence, only to provide an air-tight alibi for the crime. To match King’s procedural prose, HBO brought on The Night Of’s David Price, who layers the original work with meticulous mysteries. The Outsider has all the pulpy jolts expected of the author, but the show’s true horror lies in its overbearing grief, best brought to life by Ben Mendelsohn’s Detective Anderson. To say more would be to spoil its secrets; you’ll want to be on the inside.

#7. Perry Mason (Season 1) - HBO

Just like the famous fictional attorney, HBO can’t seem to lose, with Perry Mason marking its third entry on this list. The reimagining of the long running court drama actually takes place before the character’s illustrious law career; here he’s a down-on-his-luck private eye caught up in a scandalous child kidnapping case. The result’s a gangbusters production of old-fashioned moody noir: political corruption, femme fatales, and a more morally-complicated Mason, as played by The Americans’ Matthew Rhys. The lavish period details and character-actor cast, including Shea Whigham, John Lithgow, and Tatiana Maslany, will help draw viewers in, but, I’ll confess, I was already hooked by the season’s chilling opening moments.

#6. Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (Season 1) - NBC

Dour seasons have dominated this list thus far, but Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist sings a different tune. It’s a lovably oddball premise: an accident during an MRI causes a young woman, played by Jane Levy, to hear other people’s thoughts in the form of popular music. It’s all karaoke, but, emphasized by the presence of Skylar Astin, a worthy inheritor to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s musical-comedy crown. The tracklist, workplace antics, and love-triangle drama all exist in a comfortingly familiar network TV realm, but the show takes additional steps for inclusion with stories highlighting Zoey’s genderfluid neighbor (Alex Newell) and an American Sign Language performance of Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song.” During a year in need of shuffling off stress, there was no better time to queue up Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist.

#5. What We Do in The Shadows (Season 2) - FX

FX’s expansion of the mockumentary feature film of the same name lit up some of the darker corners of its universe in the show’s second season, transforming mundane-seeming material into something completely, uniquely batty. Each creature of Shadows took their turn in the spotlight this season, from a middle-management promotion gifting energy-vampire Colin Robinson unlimited supernatural power, to undead Nadja befriending a doll possessed by her own ghost, to Matt Berry’s Lazlo forging a small-town persona as a bartender/volleyball coach to escape a vengeful Mark Hamill. As always, it was the sympathetic Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), a Van Helsing descendent desperate to become a vampire, who gave the show its emotional stakes, and the vampires within a different kind altogether.

#4. Stargirl (Season 1) - DC Universe

Shadows was lit, but few things burned brighter this year than Stargirl (perhaps too brightly for the flamed-out DC Universe). The superhero drama is one of several that will outlive its original streaming service - fitting, given its obsession with legacy. Based on a character created by DC Comics stalwart Geoff Johns after the tragic loss of his sister, the show finds a young girl taking on the mantle of a fallen hero after moving to a town run in secret by supervillains. With sprightly fight choreography and an unabashed embrace of its comic book lore, Stargirl outshines the overabundance of small-screen superheroes out there. Its highlight is the bright performance of lead Brec Bassinger; put simply, she’s a star, girl.

#3. BoJack Horseman (Season 6b) - Netflix

Throughout its run, BoJack Horseman garnered acclaim for routinely delivering unexpected pathos, and the final season kept it on that track until the end. ...Get it, because horses run on tracks? The unexpected porter of television’s legacy of antiheroes ended in much the same vein as its sister shows - with consequences finally catching up with its protagonist. No amount of fanciful animal puns could soften that painful catharsis, as the show finally trampled its tricky web of abuse through bittersweet means. The series closed out with an especially thoughtful scene, the kind viewers who looked past the wonky pilot years ago were regularly blessed with; to the very end, BoJack, you were a gift, horse.

#2. Better Call Saul (Season 5) - AMC

As good as Bad ever was and better than ever before, the fifth season of AMC’s spin-off completely upended the world of its eponymous lawyer while bringing Vince Gilligan’s universe one step away from full-circle. Saul Goodman found himself in way over his head, and viewers found themselves way on the edge of their seats, as his first foray into “criminal” lawyering swiftly dovetailed with an escalating drug war. Despite the emotional distress of watching fan-favorite character Kim Wexler placed in perilous situations, there are no objections to be had with the drama’s continued masterful storytelling. Ramping up the slow-burn storytelling, season five saw Kim and Saul’s relationship develop in rich and unexpected ways, while still keeping their final fates unresolved. Fans are thus waiting with bated breath for the show’s final call next year. 

#1. The Great (Season 1) - Hulu

Who could be the best but The Great? There was a minor television controversy this year over Netflix marketing The Crown as a historical drama despite its fictional interpretation of events; The Great has no such pretentions. An asterix adorns every title card of the show, letting viewers know that its take on Catherine the Great’s coup against Emperor Peter III of Russia is only “an occasionally true story.” The show indeed is not great for education, but it’s the most entertaining television of the year, locking stars Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult in a battle of wits and a fight for the country’s soul under the watch of The Favourite co-writer Tony McNamara. The uproarious comedy slyly collates leadership based in cruelty with leadership based in goodwill in the background of its quite bawdy escapades, a subtle bit of relevant political maneuvering that lets it successfully claim the crown this year.

NEXT UP: THE 2020 AARONS FOR BEST TV EPISODE!

[nodusomnis]

title: gacha puller pairing(s): tsukioka tsumugi & reader characters: tsukioka tsumugi, reader, settsu banri, chigasaki itaru, rurikawa yuki, sakisaka muku, nanao taichi synopsis: if Itaru has his own gacha puller, then you have your own as well. word count: 6.1k

"Ugh! No SSR again!" You yell in despair as you throw your hands up in the air while holding your phone in frustration.

You had pulled three times already for the new event that the game currently released, and yet you still haven't gotten the limited SSR of your favorite character that you've been waiting for. You did your best from delimiting yourself to pull for the other events for an entire month, albeit your hands were yearning to tap the pull button to get the new SSRs. It was an immense effort to forbear yourself, to be honest, considering the previous events were a tremendous temptation for you to manage.

Heeding your online friends getting the SSRs within that month made you envious and anxious about the fact you wanted to pull for the new cards as well. However, you impede and incessantly reminded yourself that the new card for your favorite character will be released in no time, so you need to be patient as they said: "Patience is Virtue." Nevertheless, you cling onto that famous phrase for you to prevent yourself from tapping that awfully tempting button.

What a drag.

"Sucks for you." Your head spontaneously whips at Itaru, sitting indolently on the couch across from you with the other lazyass, Banri.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it from you. Your luck is much worse than mine, you know?" You sneer as you roll your eyes before flicking your gaze back on the screen of your phone to see the fodder cards you had obtained.

Just by viewing it, it utterly makes your head throb and puts you in a pit of misery. Banri and Itaru are minding their own businesses as per usual, for they had their own mobile games to play to even give you a scarce of their notice, particularly the salaryman who will never reel when he’s in his gamer mode.

You're the only one who doesn't play the games they are currently obsessing over since you're more into otome. Moreover, their games are beyond for you to grasp. Notably, you're not the type of a gamer akin to Itaru who will forsake sleep just for his one and only games. The way he lives his life is outrageously unhealthy, and you don't want to be sleep-deprived as you have other concerns to do as well in reality. As a university student, you need to prioritize your studies before entertainment as it was, by all means, your responsibility.

Since it was your day off today, you fritter away the responsibilities for now as you already completed the assignments you carry for this week.

Speaking of Itaru’s unhealthy habits, despite all of it, you do admit that you admired his obstinacy and perseverance when it comes to his games.

His devotion from staying in the top rankings and able to balance his work and entertainment had you respect the salaryman without any cynicism since, for you, it takes an amount of effort to segregate your attention to both states. However, the only thing you highly opposed about his commitment is him consuming a lot of money and not eating a decent meal during weekends as he would lock himself in his room for the whole day to play.

You never dared to enter his room since you know full well how he'd turn into a demon when someone disturbed him during his gaming bout.

He'd literally cuss at you, no doubt.

Not to mention, their games are not free to play friendly, which is why you never played the games with the two despite wanting to be part of their so-called co-op. It made you envious every time you will witness them being enthralled with clearing the dungeons and discussing their next quest. You'll lie to yourself if you say that you didn’t feel out of place in their conversations sometimes. Due to that, you did not disrupt the two, for you were aware that it will only hinder the momentum of their enthusiasm.

On the contrary, whenever you watched the two having a friendly game and seeing their triumphant faces when they won against some other teams was indeed a calming sight to observe. You would even notice yourself smiling along to their childish expressions, which was at first; you were bemused as to why, but shortly shrugged it off as you acknowledge that it was refreshing and a splendid view to behold. Though, sometimes, their effrontery they'd manifest will directly upend the sentiments you harbor for them.

"At least I got the new SSR yesterday," Itaru retorts, granting you a smug smirk, which causes your aggravation to develop and puff your cheeks.

"Yeah, right. A big thanks to Sakuya for pulling for you."

Banri sniggers upon hearing your response and leans his back on the couch, resting his arms on the backrest. "(Name)'s right, Itaru-san. You don't have the right to be priggish when you relied on Sakuya in the first place."

"Well, if you're in the level of desperation to get the SSR that you want, then you need to take drastic measures," he suggests to which you and Banri look at him in confusion with a tinge of curiosity.

"And that is?" Banri asks, and you only wait for Itaru to say his answer.

"Call for Sakuya and let him pull in your stead." Itaru exhibits a lopsided grin as he looks at you with a glint of persuasion and mischief behind those fuchsia irises of his. Hearing his outlandish suggestion earned him a groan from you and stomped your feet in distress.

This guy is seriously no-good when giving you advice. His reason only provides you nothing but a headache, and the faint light of hope you’re clinging onto is gradually quenching. You thought it would be something serious and beneficial, though you remember that in front of you is Itaru's switch off mode in which his princely appearance is out today, and his crappy personality will be served instead.

For that reason, you flash him a menacing glare, having the urge to grab his neck and strangle him to death, if only you had the courage to do so. Also, the director might get mad at you for diminishing their limited actors, albeit she’s a kind-hearted woman.

"Hell, no! Sakuya is your gacha puller, and there's no way I'll rely on your lucky charm—though I like him as an individual more than you, not gonna lie, no hard feelings. But seriously, your misfortune might be passed on me, so no thanks."

Banri bursts out a laugh once you say your retort, and even slapping his thighs so hard. While Itaru only stares at you with an incredulous face and instantly shifts to a feigned dejected mien.

"You're still headstrong in spite of being in a dire situation," he says matter-of-factly as he dismissively gestures his hand.

"It's because I have pride in me."

"Then that pride of yours must be discarded right now. It's not needed in this kind of circumstance."

"Ah, you're the only one who has the ability to do that, Itaru-san."

Your reply prompts the side of his lips to curve upwards, presenting you a boyish smirk on his handsome profile. The kind of smirk that will make girls' hearts skip a beat and fall for his charm, submitting themselves like he was a king who needs to be revered and would comply with his orders with no abstinence.

A relief sigh escapes your lips, knowing that you have the immunization to his charismatic façade and his princely appearance. Therefore, you needn't worry about being caught in his trap and wrapped you around his fingers with ease.

"I can't deny that since it's an irrefutable truth."

"You seemed to be proud."

Itaru lowly chuckles. "Of course, there's no room for me to degrade myself right now, won’t I?"

"You're seriously impossible." You sway your head in defeat as you are aware that debating with him is insignificant, so you ignored him completely.

You return your eyesight to your phone and find out that you still have two pulls left for you to get the new SSR. The frustration that temporarily quenched—thanks to Itaru’s sudden disruption—has now enkindled once again. You don't know if you should try to buy crystals if you didn't get it, but if you did buy them, then you’ll have insufficient money to sustain your future necessities, considering you’re a university student.

More importantly, there are tons of projects that will be given by the teachers this month, considering the first semester is about to end. In spite of having a part-time job, it’s inadequate to provide your simple living. It will be impertinent if you’ll rely on the company. There’s no question that Sakyo will scold you for hours and give you a mindful lecture about how to save money and blah blah blah.

That’s the last thing you ever wanted to occur. You don’t want to confront the cheapskate yakuza.

The dreading thoughts that are consuming your mind cause you to bite the inside of your cheeks in frustration. Temptation and the desire are crashing in your entire being like tidal waves, furnishing you a hard time to choose what decision you need to take. Preventing yourself from detaching yourself with desires is not smooth, like how you’d roast Itaru through words. After all, you’re just a humble human being.

Your only option is to rely on your luck, but the gut feeling crawling in the pit of your stomach tells you nothing but anguish from the outcome.

Ugh. This is seriously frustrating the hell out of you! You feel like you wanted to pull your hair out of your head.

You inhale an amount of breath to appease yourself. There’s no time for you to freak out in this urgent matter. You just need to determine what the best course of action is. You lift your chin to glance at the two gamers, having a sweet time communicating to themselves as though they are devoid of any dilemmas.

Their ignorance of your current lamentation and have the tendency to be merry is insulting on your part. Well, they are not the ones to blame for your hopeless situation since it’s your game. Besides, comforting someone due to some minor matter isn’t something to give notice. There are lots of controversies happening to the world that must be given complete attention to instead.

This is just a game. If you’re going to borrow Sakyo’s philosophy, then it wouldn’t be hard for you to decide. But to your dismay, you aren’t Sakyo.

Your mind drifts to Itaru’s suggestion earlier, trying to deliberate whether you should really rely on Sakuya this time. Do you really have to break your pride on the pretext of getting the SSR that you really desire?

No. There must be some other method to be considered. There’s no need for you to tarnish the pride you have confidence in.

Dwelling over the matter for a minute, the chatter of the two falls deaf in your ears like you’re being drowned under the sea. You’re too occupied with contemplating your next options to even give your half attention to the two. Once you had finally searched a good idea in the depths of your brain as if you did your utmost best to squeeze, just for you to find one due to the desperation to free from the shackles of your own hopelessness.

“The once dead fish eyes are now sparkling with hope. I hate that look,” Itaru comments once he took a glimpse at your way, which Banri also confers his attention to you.

“You’re so immature, dude.” Banri sweat drops yet ignores the adult beside him to ask your sudden enlightened face. “Don’t tell me that you finally got the SSR that you wanted?”

“Nope!” You chirp, making the two bewildered at the use of your tone, albeit you haven’t yet completed your mission of acquiring your deepest desire.

“Then why do you look so happy?”

Your smile stretches upon Itaru’s query. “I’ve got a plan of how I’ll get my favorite character.”

The two gamers exchange looks for a brief second before turning to you.

“How?”

A sing-song hum flows through your throat, and subsequently, answers Banri’s question. “I will find my own gacha puller!”

Upon hearing your response, the two were taken aback and rendered them mute, trying to digest the words you spouted in their brain, especially Itaru, who suggested not too long ago about relying on his gacha puller.

“What? So, you’re going to mimic my strategy, too?” The salaryman scoffs, and you roll your eyes at him.

“For your information, you’re not the only person who has a gacha puller. Self-proclaiming won’t get you anywhere.”

“When did I say that?” You ignored his question.

“If I’m going to search for my gacha puller, it has to be like Sakuya. Innocent and not corrupted like someone here.”

“Oi, you’re pertaining to me, aren’t you?”

“I kinda’ know where you’re getting from,” Banri says.

“Are the two of you gonna ignore the lonely salaryman here?” Itaru feigns a crestfallen expression and voice bound with a melancholic tone.

You snap your head at the whining man. “Shut up, Itaru-san. You’re being a nuisance.”

“Ouch.” You continue to ignore him as Banri shows a sympathetic look before returning his gaze on you, whose two fingers pressed against your chin, thinking who will be the perfect candidate for your gacha puller.

“Well, if we’re talking about innocent people here, then it’s either Muku or Taichi,” Banri suggests, stopping you from your tracks and peer at him.

“I agree with Muku, but I’m having doubts for Taichi,” you say with uncertainty to which Banri creases his eyebrows.

“Why’d you have doubts about our member, huh? He’s actually innocent rather than Hyodo,” he spats Juza’s name with virulence while brandishing a sour look on his visage.

“Why are you involving Juza in our conversation? You seemed attached to him, don’t you?”

Itaru snickers at your counter, and Banri, in a flash, shoot him a scowl before facing you. “Huh?! Who you’re talking to?”

“Whatever. You’re still in the denial stage, so let’s throw this off-topic aside. ”Your voice is as cold as the snow, face woven with indifference as you’re not here to discuss Banri's rants about his teammate. Seeing them bickering on a daily basis had you tired from always hearing the two autumn troupe members. That is enough. You don’t want to add it further.

“I’m still talking!”

“Anyway, Muku can be one of my gacha pullers, but it feels there’s someone who we’re still forgetting. Do you know who they might be?” You question the two. Banri’s irritated face has yet to fade, bestowing you a huff before rolling his eyes.

What an attitude man.

“She totally ignored you,” Itaru taunts, causing the young gamer to release a scoff.

“Shut up, itaru-san,” Banri grumbles. “I don’t know who you’re talkin’ about. Why don’t ya use your pretty little head to find it out?”

“I suggest that you should find someone devoid of desires. But I’m afraid it’ll be hard for you to search for one since humans are inundated with unlimited desires. Ah, I’m fortunate to have met Sakuya. It must be fate.” Itaru’s grinning from ear-to-ear, looking at you tauntingly as if looking down at you for being an unfortunate soul.

You repress yourself from lurching at the man just to wipe that shit-eating grin of his. It’s pissing you off. His face is infuriating.

“I’ll slap you if you’re going to rile me up. And I’m not kidding,” you threaten with venom in your speech. Itaru can even witness how your face darkens as though he’s in a thriller game about to get killed by you. It was enough for the gamer to hold his hands up, and motions his hand as though he’s waving a white flag at you, an indication of surrender.

“Please, spare me.”

“Should I go for Muku?” Is your immediate question, leaving the two lazyasses to shrug their shoulders in sync.

“Go ahead. It’s not our game after all—urk!” Banri’s sentence was cut off when you suddenly charged at him and grabbed his collar, pulling his face closer to yours.

“Hey, I’m asking for a genuine reply here, you bastard. Don’t give me a half-assed answer if you don’t want me to shove a pipe in your asshole.” Banri feels the sweat on his forehead begins to form and breathe hitches upon the proximity of your faces. His ocean blue eyes stare into yours, looking at him so precariously as though you won’t have second thoughts of granting him an abominable experience. Additionally, the way how baritone your voice was, so low and threatening that didn’t miss to send shivers down his spine.

He isn’t informed that you can be this terrifying and manifest this kind of appearance.

Even Itaru was speechless to say anything at this moment. He only watches his player two getting dominated by you, hovering the poor high schooler while your faces were only inches apart. Banri hasn’t responded anything yet and remained still in his spot. Itaru chooses not to step in between you two since it will be a red flag for him if he does. He has no qualms that he’s gonna receive your lethal glower, and Banri’s position might be switched to him.

So nope. He’s just going to send F to Banri on LIME later.

“I’m home.”

Your treacherous character dissolves in a heartbeat once the familiar gentle, and silken voice of the winter troupe’s leader meddled in your ears. Without wasting a second, you hop off of Banri to face Tsumugi with a sweet smile and amiable appearance as though nothing vexatious had happened.

“Welcome home, Tsumugi-san!” You greet him with life and skips to the man to welcome him.

“It’s amazing how her behavior alters in just a spur second,” Itaru comments, only for Banri to hear.

“I can even see flowers surrounding her face when confronting Tsumugi-san.” The poor boy, who just recently received your murderous intent, was in disbelief to see your cheery face at the winter troupe’s leader. There’s no trace of deadly appearance on you like how you gave him only a little while ago. It seems that all of it was a mere illusion once you confront Tsumugi.

“Oh? Why are the three of you gathered here? It’s rare to see you in the lounge around this hour,” he says as soon as he enters.

“We’re talking about some game-related stuff. So, how’s tutoring your tutee, Tsumugi-san?” you ask him with your full attention. And the said guy gives you his immediate answer.

“He has issues with memorizing, but I know he’s going to be fine once we continued practicing his memorization skills. It will take time for him, but it's better if we worked on it now rather than sooner. He’s a great student, I dare say.”

You couldn’t help but smile at how he really gives his full effort on tutoring his student, added by how supportive he was. It’s already apparent at the way he’s helping the high schoolers in this company during his spare time. And even he returned home after tutoring one of his tutees, if there’s someone who is in need of his assistance, he won’t have second thoughts to help them out.

You certainly admire and respect this man in front of you. He’s an actual angel.

“You’re really nice, Tsumugi-san. I can’t help but admire you even more,” you say straightforwardly, which causes the apple of his cheeks to sprinkle with red hues.

“E-Eh, is that so? T-Thank you, I guess?” You chuckle at the way he stumbled on his words. It’s so typical of Tsumugi to do that. He’s not used to receiving such compliments, albeit he definitely deserves it.

Tsumugi regains his composure and begins to ask you. “Anyway, what about the game you’re talking about? I know I’m not good with games, but I can lend you an ear if you have any troubles.”

You feel your heart warm after he says those words. Words that are enough for the misery you felt to evaporate and give you the slightest hope in your darkest day. His concern toward you surely touched you. Not like those two lazyasses still sitting on the couch, can’t even have a mere sympathy for you. Sigh.

“Now that you mentioned it,” you trail off, recollecting the circumstance you’re in, a good idea suddenly emerges in your brain as you look at the tutor. If it’s Tsumugi, it’s worth the risk. Also, you won’t know until you try. “Can you pull in my stead, Tsumugi-san?”

Your query generates him to be baffled, tilting his head to the side as he casts his eyes upon the phone you are lending. He doesn’t know what you’re talking about but takes the gadget from your hand regardless.

The winter troupe leader peeks at your phone’s screen, only to find out different guy characters showing on the screen. He has no idea what kind of game you’re playing, but he is certain that this type of genre is exclusive for girls.

“Which button should I tap?” You peek at your phone.

“The one that said roll ten times.”

When Tsumugi heard you as clear as day, he leads his pointer to the button you wanted him to press. He takes a glimpse at your face, eyes filled with anticipation and plead, eyebrows knit together while your lips tremble lest for the upshot of his aid. His apprehension solely expands as he hasn’t had the slightest inkling of what is happening for you to present such expression.

Further, he hasn’t yet to inquire about the whole matter. However, relying on him for your game had his stomach twist unpleasantly. Beads of sweat start to dribble down his nape, knowing full well that it’s something important to you. Hence, entrusting him with it seems that he is carrying a huge responsibility on his shoulders, similar to his troupe’s debut show. And for some reason, it appears that your anxiety has transported to him as well.

Tsumugi was too immersed in his thoughts to even lay his attention on the phone he’s holding. His gaze fixated on yours had yet to avert for just a little second. As he stares at you, the expression you showed a second ago has altered to a shock one and immediately tilts your head upwards to face him with eyes gleaming with rapture.

“T-Tsumugi-san…” you mutter, voice tied with disbelief.

Your reaction confuses him. That’s why he attempts to glance at your phone. But before he can even land his sight on it, you abruptly release a squeal while leaping in joy. And this causes the two men sitting on the couch to flinch once they hear your energetic voice.

He doesn’t know what happened, but he deemed that he did a good job. Your phone is still in his hand, literally forgotten to hand it to you back as his awareness is concentrated on yours, cheering like a little kid who just received a gift from her parents. With you being like that, he’s inclined not to interrupt your happiness and let you celebrate as long as you want.

Tsumugi couldn’t refrain himself from smiling at the sight since your mood is indeed entertaining and contagious for him not to.

“Well, we already know what the conclusion is,” Banri suddenly speaks while taking a side glance at Itaru.

“If I only knew that Tsumugi has this luck with gachas, then retreating to have him pull for me before was absolutely a bad decision of mine.” Itaru huffs, slumping his back against the backrest, feeling dejected upon recalling the day he mentioned. He sure does regret it, not gonna lie.

“You did? Condolence for you, man,” Banri nonchalantly responds.

“I can’t feel any sympathy from you.”

After many seconds of celebrating, you swiftly spin your body to confront Tsumugi with a wide grin. “Tsumugi-san, thank you so much!”

Due to the overwhelming emotions swelling you to the brim, you throw your arms around him, embracing the man with delight without any warnings. Your abrupt action had the leader to be caught off guard, and a faint blush instantly crept up to his cheeks. His muscles all over his body freeze, seemingly like steel that couldn’t be bent due to how stiff he is right this instant.

This kind of skinship makes him uncomfortable and embarrassed as he had never done it outside of his family, especially to the opposite gender since he knew full well how it’d cross the boundary between the parties involved. It’s not like he doesn’t like to be hugged by you. It’s just; it was so sudden that his coherence had flown away from him.

Tsumugi’s heart races alike when he’s having a morning jog with Tasuku. He couldn’t move a single inch as he’s yet stunned at the current situation. Fortunately, he didn’t loosen his grasp on your phone despite his astonishment.

Tsumugi only has the chance to relax when you retract your body from him, but your hands are still holding his arms.

“You really made my day! I was about to lose hope because I already spent two-thousand crystals, and yet I still haven’t acquired my favorite character,” you gloomily say as you gaze down to show how afflicted you are for your misfortune. But eventually rearranges to a merry mien after looking back at him. “But because of you, my hope has recovered once again! You are the light in my darkest time, Tsumugi-san! I really owe you!”

Tsumugi’s heart has yet to recover from beating vigorously, and here you are only supplementing it more. Your choice of words sure does make him flustered as though his face is gonna explode at any given moment.

“Y-You’re exaggerating. I’m not similar to what you think of me… Also, I’m just lucky enough to get your favorite character,” he bashfully says while avoiding his gaze.

“Even if you say that my opinion of you will never change. Just so you know, your presence around always makes me calm and wash away my troubles in the meantime. Well, I don’t know why I feel that way, but one thing’s for sure, it’s because of your gentle trait and artlessness that makes my chaotic mind to pacify from creating a storm. It really helped me a lot during the time of my crisis due to school work and job. Your aura is a good influence here in the dorm, especially everything’s a mess here. So why don’t you take the credit for yourself this time? You need it sometimes, and you really deserve it.”

You flash him a toothy grin, a perfect time where he peers at you again. Beholding your bright smile that is free from any malice, like the sun rays illuminating the dark places, he couldn’t have the chance to give you a response as it’s keeping him arrested from uttering a word. On top of it all, your disclosure of the way you see him has rendered him speechless, and his ears are starting to burn up.

“Anyway, you have my sincerest and deepest gratitude. I owe you this time. Can I take my phone back?” you ask, which returns him to his senses.

“Oh, right. Here you go.”

Taking your phone, you take a glimpse at the cards that he pulled for you. Seeing the SSR you’ve been desperate to get already came home. You couldn’t restrict yourself from grinning broadly, and the wave of ecstasy crawls to your system.

Relying on Tsumugi was the best decision you ever made!

“Hey, you lazyasses! I finally got the SSR that I want!” You enthuse.

Banri was the first one to comment. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks to Tsumugi-san.”

“Good for you. Not only did you acquire the SSR, but you also found your own gacha puller.”

Upon hearing Itaru’s statement, an idea instantly pops in your mind, which causes you to whip your head at Tsumugi, who’s looking at you with a questioning gaze.

“Hey, Tsumugi-san,” you drawl his name, almost cooing. “Can you give me the honor of being my gacha puller?”

Hearing your question and the way you look at him with puppy eyes prompts him to blink his eyes in confusion, specifically to the word he hasn’t yet encountered.

Is that a slang word for games? Also, why are you looking at him like that?

“Why does it seem like (Name)’s proposing to him?” Banri utters while watching you with a weird look.

Itaru evokes a scoff. “Maybe she is.”

“You kiddin' me, right?” Itaru only shrugs his shoulders as his response to the autumn leader before returning his attention to you and Tsumugi.

The tutor doesn’t know what could be his answer to your offer just now. You’re still staring at him with hopeful eyes, seemingly glimmering under the lights of the lounge. Tsumugi feels a sweat dribbling down his temples as he’s getting self-conscious by the seconds you keep on staring at him with gravity.

Before he speaks, he gulps first to hydrate his almost dry throat to prevent him from stuttering.

“W-What do you mean by gacha puller?”

Well, so much for not stuttering. He sighs mentally.

“Oh, just like what you did earlier. You’re only going to pull for me to get the SSRs that I want. I don’t have luck like yours, but Itaru-san’s luck is much worse than I am, though.”

Itaru reflexively reacts upon the mention of his name. “Oi, why did I suddenly get involved in this? I’m not doing anything to you. That’s BM.”

Tsumugi sweat drops at Itaru’s retort and sheepishly laughs, knowing the two of you are glaring at each other that he can even see an invisible line of electricity through your gazes. In order for both of you to stop, he decides to meddle to change the atmosphere that is starting to surround the lounge, and before the situation gets worse.

“If that’s the only terms and conditions, then I wouldn’t mind.” In a spur second, you snap your head at him, and the antagonistic face you display for the gamer vanishes in a jiffy when you confront him.

“Really?!” You exclaim with a broad smile.

Tsumugi nods, smiling as well. “Yeah, I don’t mind. If it will make you happy, then I’ll offer you my assistance.”

The leader stumbles when you suddenly leaped in joy and hugged him with enthusiasm. This causes his face to flare again as he didn’t expect that he’ll be embraced by you two times in a row. But what makes his face to sharpen its red color is when the three words that slipped from your lips.

“I love you, Tsumugi-san! You’re the best!”

It seems that the cogs of his brain have stopped as though something had blocked its operation. His eyes grow wide like saucers as he hadn’t foreseen of you to blurt out such a thing. Tsumugi strives to second-guess. Perhaps, the meaning of your words is just a simple expression to imply how happy and grateful you are for him to accept your request. However, in the deepest corner of his brain tells him otherwise, and that alone only adds the saturation of his red face.

The two gamers who witnessed the scene solely stare at you both with shock evident in their profiles. They couldn’t follow if it’s just the same as to how Tsumugi sees it, or you accidentally confessed to him because of your overwhelming emotions that you couldn't contain. But they couldn’t even recall a time where there’s a sign of you liking the winter troupe leader. There is a high possibility that you’re hiding your feelings that you slipped it out, out of the blue. If it does, then you sure are damn good.

The lounge is crackling with awkwardness, and it didn’t go unnoticed by you of how the silence erupts inside. When you assimilate the situation and the words you had blurted just now, it was enough for you to release yourself from Tsumugi with so much haste that you even toppled on your feet.

You lift your chin up to face the leader, whose face is in a bright shade of red and had never seen him looking at you with such big eyes as though accusing you with something in which he is confident that you are the culprit.

Oh gosh, you said something you shouldn’t have. You can be an idiot sometimes.

Now, you don’t know how you’ll get away from this awkward tension. Your face is heating up as the seconds' tick, and the stares of the three seem like melting you slowly. The embarrassment you had induced to yourself makes you want to dig a hole and put your head inside like an ostrich, rejecting to face reality. Noticing Tsumugi’s flustered visage didn’t help you to soothe yourself even for just a brief moment. Instead, it gives you more a reason to faint at this current moment.

“I-I…” you stammer, trying to find an excuse to defend yourself. However, your brain isn’t cooperating with you in this predicament, for it’s in turmoil to even go back to its coherence. Your head is becoming fuzzy, thanks to the shame that’s eating you alive. Most importantly, it appears to be your body has been frozen, obstructing you from running away just as you want to.

“We��re home!” The new voice that emerges from the front door snaps you all back to your senses and turn your heads where the others are.

The shuffling sounds and footsteps are heading to your way. You assure that the voice you recently heard is Taichi’s, and you heard Muku and Yuki’s voice as well. Once the trio enters the lounge, they instantly greet you all.

“We’re back,” Yuki says nonchalantly, facing the two gamers before shifting to you and Tsumugi.

“What are you all gathered here for?” Taichi’s inquiry causes Itaru and Banri to cast their eyes upon you, and that action had Muku to be baffled and look at you as well.

Both of your faces are red, and it’s not that difficult for the three to notice the awkward atmosphere between you and the winter troupe leader.

“Eh, why are your faces red?” Taichi suddenly asks to which you flinch in your spot and frantically shakes your head.

“I-It is? It’s because the w-weather is hot for me to handle, so that’s why,” you awkwardly laugh while scratching the back of your head. “Oh, it’s already six. I need to go back to my room to do my homework! Well, see you all around! And by the way, welcome home, you three!” After you bid your goodbye, you dash away from the lounge, like a speed of light.

The students who just arrived simply display a confounded expression, and discerns the way you’re being frantic as though you’re in a hurry.

“So, why’s the acting nerd blushing?” Yuki blurts, intensely scrutinizing the said man.

Hearing Yuki’s question earns his attention and shakes his head violently, similar to what you did earlier. “E-Eh? I-It’s nothing serious…”

His answer hadn’t convinced the designer, but instead, it only ignites his suspicions toward the flustered tutor.

“Oi, elite swindler, and neo gangster, did something happen while we were away?”

“Perhaps, it’s time for me to tend the flowers. I-I’ll see you all later…” Tsumugi says with a trace of timidity in his voice, eluding the question that may pass onto him soon. And afterward, he struts away from the place before going to the courtyard to look at the flowerbeds.

The ones who are left in the lounge just watch him until his figure disappears in their sight.

“So, what happened?” Yuki interrogates. The two gamers sitting on the couch steal glances at each other before Banri shrugs his shoulders.

“Well, it’s not our place to tell you that.”

“Eh?! What, why?! Is it some scoop the reason why you aren’t sharing it with us?!” Taichi exclaimed, causing the pink-haired boy to blush upon imagining something intimate.

“W-What if they accidentally kissed, that’s why they are blushing like that?! It’s like a scene from a shoujo manga. T-Then, after that incident, it will make the two slowly fall in love with each other!”

“N-No way!”

“Calm down, you two,” Yuki elicits a sigh as the two starts to become engrossed in their own world.

Banri and Itaru laugh at Muku’s presumption. In spite of acquiring your own gacha puller, there’s still a consequence for you to get what you desire. And that is embarrassing yourself in front of the known angel of the winter troupe.

[cleverwordsandotherstuffilike]

10 Latin phrases people pretend to understand

1. Caveat emptor // "Let the buyer beware"

Before money-back guarantees and 20-year warranties, caveat emptor was indispensable advice for the consumer. These days, it'd be more fitting to have it tattooed on the foreheads of used-car salesmen and infomercial actors. For extra credit points, remember that caveat often makes solo appearances at cocktail parties as a fancy term for a warning or caution. Oh, and just so you know, caveat lector means "let the reader beware."

2. Persona non grata // "An unacceptable person"

Remember your old college buddy, the one everybody called Chugger? Now picture him at a debutante ball, and you'll start to get a sense of someone with persona non grata status. The term is most commonly used in diplomatic circles to indicate that a person is unwelcome due to ideological differences or a breach of trust. Sometimes, the tag refers to a pariah, a ne'er-do-well, a killjoy, or an interloper, but it's always subjective. Back in 2004, Michael Moore was treated as persona non grata at the Republican National Convention. Bill O'Reilly would experience the same at Burning Man.

3. Habeas Corpus // "You shall have the body"

In a nutshell, habeas corpus is the legal principle that guarantees an inmate the right to appear before a judge in court, so it can be determined whether or not that person is being lawfully imprisoned. It's also one of the cornerstones of the American and British legal systems. Without it, tyrannical and unjust imprisonments would be possible. In situations where national security is at risk, however, habeas corpus can be suspended.

4. Cogito ergo sum // "I think, therefore I am"

When all those spirited mental wrestling matches you have about existentialism start growing old (yeah, right!), you can always put an end to the debate with cogito ergo sum. René Descartes, the 17th-century French philosopher, coined the phrase as a means of justifying reality. According to him, nothing in life could be proven except one's thoughts. Well, so he thought, anyway.

5. E pluribus unum // "Out of many, one"

America's original national motto, e pluribus unum, was plagiarized from an ancient recipe for salad dressing. In the 18th century, haughty intellectuals were fond of this phrase. It was the kind of thing gentlemen's magazines would use to describe their year-end editions. But the term made its first appearance in Virgil's poem "Moretum" to describe salad dressing. The ingredients, he wrote, would surrender their individual aesthetic when mixed with others to form one unique, homogenous, harmonious, and tasty concoction. And while e pluribus unum continues to appear on U.S. coins, "In God We Trust" came along later (officially in 1956) to share the motto spotlight.

6. Quid pro quo // "This for that"

Given that quid pro quo refers to a deal or trade, it's no wonder the Brits nicknamed their almighty pound the "quid." And if you give someone some quid, you're going to expect some quo. The phrase often lives in the courtroom, where guilt and innocence are the currency. It's the oil that lubricates our legal system. Something of a quantified value is traded for something of equal value; elements are parted and parceled off until quid pro quo is achieved.

7. Ad hominem // "To [attack] the man"

In the world of public discourse, ad hominem is a means of attacking one's rhetorical opponent by questioning his or her reputation or expertise rather than sticking to the issue at hand. Translation: Politicians are really good at it. People who resort to ad hominem techniques are usually derided as having a diluted argument or lack of discipline. If pressed, they'll brandish it like a saber and refuse to get back to the heart of the matter. Who said the debate team doesn't have sex appeal?

8. Ad majorem dei gloriam // "All for the greater glory of God"

Ad majorem dei gloriam is often shortened to AMDG. In other words, it's the WWJD of the Jesuits, who've been drilling the mantra into their followers since (Saint) Ignatius of Loyola founded the Catholic Order in 1534. They believe all actions, big or small, should be done with AMDG in mind. Remind your Jesuit-educated buddies of this when they seem to be straying from the path. (Best used with a wink and a hint of irony.)

9. Memento mori // "Remember, you will die"

Carpe diem is so 20th century. If you're going to suck the marrow out of life, trying doing it with the honest, irrefutable, and no less inspiring memento mori. You can interpret the phrase in two ways: Eat, drink, and party down. Or, less hedonistically, be good so you can get past the pearly gates. Naturally, the latter was the one preferred by the early Christian Church, which would use macabre art—including dancing skeletons and snuffed-out candles—to remind the faithful to forgo temporal pleasures in favor of eternal bliss in heaven.

10. Sui generis // "Unique and unable to classify"

Frank Zappa, the VW Beetle, cheese in a can: Sui generis refers to something that's so new, so bizarre, or so rare that it defies categorization. Granted, labeling something sui generis is really just classifying the unclassifiable. But let's not over-think it. Use it at a dinner party to describe Andy Kaufman, and you impress your friends. Use it too often, and you just sound pretentious.

Kevin Fleming, Mental Floss

[legionnaireslover]

My point, you ignoramus, is that bragging a movie that hasn't even made half the money it spent to make it back, is stupid. Now, I understand you didn't write that article and news outlets are simply reporting facts. But if that was my movie I'd be doing my best to sweep that information under the rug. It has nothing to do with the artistic success or failure of the movie. The fact that you all can't seem to understand that just proves how truly dense you all are.

I suspect you must be the person who posted those "charts" to Gator's blog. Why don't you come off of "anonymous" so I can see exactly who I am dealing with?

My question to you is, why should anyone associated with The Courier "sweep" any data under the rug? They've got nothing to be ashamed of.

Considering the number of screens it debuted on (less than 2000 in the US), the film did relatively well.

No, it can't compete in ticket sales to blockbuster action movies, but it was never intended to. It's numbers were considered to be quite solid for the kind of movie it was. Here's the top dozen films domestic stats for 2020 releases and you can see The Courier ranks 11th. And it is one of only THREE top films that were released to under 2000 theatres. In fact it outperformed the 12th ranked film even though that film was an Oscar nominated movie and released on more screens!

As for it ROI - in these COVID19 days, all past "standards" are virtually useless. Calculations will have to take into account for streaming services to a much higher degree because of all the closed venues for films to be shown in, I would think. Even the site that you found agrees that this kind of film has to be judged on the HOME MARKET in these lockdown days...

So your criticism of people feeling good about the film because it hasn't made a profit yet seems highly premature IMO. (Point to note: you actually don't even know for sure how much the movie cost, do you! All you have is one unsubstantiated amount from a site. Usually in the business of gathering FACTS at least THREE sources are needed to verify information.) .

Another thing I'd like to draw to your attention is that you pulling out a chart to show BC's drop off in 2020 belies the irrefutable fact that almost EVERY actor has shown a comparable drop off! Ever hear of COVID19? Of course you have! But you don't want to bring that up, do you?!?

One last point - all these charts only deal with theatrical releases. None of BC's TV work is even considered at all. And Cumberbatch has been very busy on that front.

He has stated a number of times that his primary consideration when choosing projects is HIS FAMILY and how a project impacts on him being away from his wife and three small boys. Doing as much work as possible as close to his home base as possible is obviously very important to him at this stage in his life.

Sometimes he has been able to bring his family along (as he did for the upcoming The Power of the Dog filmed in NZ). But smaller TV productions naturally don't require usually traveling far from home for extended location shooting, so that's something to consider for him.

Patrick Melrose is a prime example of this. Most of the location shooting was done in France or the UK. It was hugely successful and garnered much critical praise, scooped up a lot of nominations and even a couple of prestigious awards (one personal one for best actor at the BAFTAS for BC!). This has of course taken him in another direction from cinema work for the moment so just looking at movie titles to gauge his "success" doesn't give a very balanced picture.

He never said he just wanted to be a cinema "star" anyway.

Success comes in MANY forms, my dear anonymous Hater!

All this emphasis on his film career is actually something the Haters have concocted and twisted to fit their warped agenda.

I've got a suggestion for you... relax a bit, pony up some pocket change and order The Courier online and watch it! It's a greatly entertaining story and BC is wonderful in it!

Have a nice day!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Huey Emmerich

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

The Metal Gear franchise is known for its hammy and despicable villains, villains with complicated schemes, giant robots, and awesome boss battles. But what if I told you that, out of all the villains in the series, the most disgusting, vile, reprehensible, and cruel one had the same face and voice as the kindest man in the series.

Huey Emmerich is, in short, a piece of shit. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this worthless  ass. This may seem a bit shocking if you’ve only played Peace Walker, where he seems little more than a clone of his son Otacon, or Metal Gear Solid 2, where he is mentioned as having committed suicide after catching his wife taking advantage of Otacon. But play through The Phantom Pain, and you’ll soon see that Huey is perhaps the most morally reprehensible monster in the entire game, and maybe the entire franchise.

And you will absolutely, without a doubt, love to hate him.

Motivation/Goals: Huey is motivated by one thing and one thing only: cowardice. He sells out Big Boss to Cipher to for a job offer and then lies out his ass to Venom, Ocelot, and Kaz when they eventually come and get him. Huey is just always in it for himself, and is perfectly willing to screw over any person who gets in the way of his research; even back in Peace Walker, he was strangely happy about cheerfully being able to continue developing WMDs for Big Boss and company after betraying his (admittedly crappy) former boss Hot Coldman, and after that he abandoned his wife to die for daring to hide their child Hal away from him before he could use the kid as a living battery in Metal Gear Sahelanthropus.

And while being a megalomaniac is nothing new for A villain in this franchise, Huey takes it to the next level by never once accepting any responsibility. He constantly shifts blame onto others, denies doing anything bad ever, and lies, lies, and lies to the point of insanity. At one point he straight up continues to insist his wife Strangelove committed suicide even when irrefutable evidence was shown that he left her to die inside the Mammal Pod. The man is a pathetic, nasty little weasel through and through, and his complete and utter lack of honor just makes him stand out as reprehensible even when compared to an absolute lunatic like Skull Face or even a violent brute like Eli (AKA Liquid Snake).

Performance: Christopher Randolph, the actor for Hal, somehow manages to turn everything good, sweet, and heroic about Snake’s best pal Otacon and turn it on its head for Huey. Huey has the same voice and the same face as his son, but his actions and deeds show that, no, this man is absolutely nothing like his son, and is in fact the very antithesis of who Otacon is. Props to Randolph for using the same voice we’ve come to know and love and delivering a performance so twisted that even if it is the same voice, there is absolutely no way you would ever confuse Huey dialogue for Otacon dialogue.

Final Fate: The best part about Huey is that he is constantly, constantly getting his ass handed to him. In The Phantom Pain, after he unleashes a virus onto Mother Base which forces Venom to put down some of his own soldiers, with Huey blaming him all the while, Huey is put on trial and found guilty, because… of course he is. Literally the only person who believes Huey is innocent is Huey himself, and that is because he outright rejects reality and all of the evidence against him. Venom casts him adrift on a dinky life boat, one that begins leaking and causes Huey to ditch his precious robotic legs to the sea, turning him into little more than a miserable cripple once again.

But if you thought that Huey would go out in any other way other than making the world a more miserable, bitter place, you’d be wrong. Years later, he discovers his second wife having an affair – that is to say, statutory raping – his son, Otacon. Rather than being a good father and trying to do anything about this sexual abuse of his child, Huey decides to do the world a favor and kill himself… but unfortunately, he drags his stepdaughter Emma along with him, causing her to nearly drown and giving her a crippling fear of water as a result.

And when you first play Metal Gear Solid 2, this seems like an awful, depressing tragedy… but after playing The Phantom Pain, it becomes abundantly clear that Huey’s suicide was one final, spiteful act., and Emma nearly dying was almost certainly on purpose. His final act in life was to try and spite his own son and the woman who was abusing his son by taking away the person they loved most in the world. He saw his own son as having cuckolded him and took his son’s sexual abuse as a blow to his own masculinity, and so went out of his way to hurt and traumatize him in the only way he knew how: by dragging innocent people down with him. Huey Emmerich couldn’t even kill himself without ruining everything.

Best Scene: Pick a scene where Huey is abused or forced to face consequences, be it Hot Coldman or Skull Face pushing him down the stairs and causing him to piss himself, Ocelot torturing him brutally, or Venom banishing him from Mother Base and sending him back to the world to be revealed as a fraud, and you’ve got yourself a good time. The sound of Huey suffering is music to the ears.

Best Quote: I think the quote that truly defines how much of a despicable two-faced hypocrite Huey is  would be the vicious verbal berating he gives you as you kill the Diamond Dogs infected with the parasite that he released. He berates Venom for doing this despite being fully to blame for the situation. It is the culmination of this snivelling little bastard’s arc, and he’s only revealed to be worse from there.

Final Thoughts & Score: Huey is perhaps the ultimate hate sink in all of fiction. There is absolutely nothing likable about the guy; he’s a pathetic coward, he constantly lies, he’s an utter prick to everyone around him, and he causes untold amounts of suffering all while whining and crying about how it’s totally not his fault! He commits atrocity after atrocity, heinous act after heinous act, and spreads so much misery, and he does it all without ever once looking cool or intimidating like just about every other villain in the franchise. You’d think this would make him the bottom of the barrel and a terrible character… but it does the opposite.

Huey serves as a dark contrast to his own son and helps to highlight how much of a better man Otacon is. Both came from similar backgrounds and both have similar roles, with both developing Metal Gears and befriending a Snake. The difference, though, is that Hal has a moral courage that allows him to own up to his mistakes, accept responsibility for his actions, and dedicate himself to doing better. The man is so utterly selfless that he basically blames himself for his stepmother raping him; Hal is beyond humble, to an almost martyr-like degree, and truly lives up to the ideals of The Boss more than anyone in the series. His mother would be so proud of that. Meanwhile, Huey lacks that, and as shown throughout The Phantom Pain, his lies eventually pile up to the point where even he can’t escape the truth, and he suffers for it. Huey is a cautionary look at what would have happened if Hal didn’t have the spine to stand up for what was right and own up to his mistake, and this is nowhere more evident than Hal having a long-lasting relationship with Snake that went until the day he died whereas Huey was cut out of the life of Venom with extreme prejudice after Huey again and again stabbed his so-called friends in the back.

But aside from this wonderful contrast, I think how awful Huey is becomes more acceptable because he constantly, constantly suffers for it. The man gets constantly put through the wringer for his lies and schemes, and is despised and treated like garbage by Ocelot and Kaz. His own wife even hated him and considered Hal her kid with The Boss more than with him. Huey’s own moral failings catch up with him, and while it doesn’t lessen how evil it is, it does give you a sense of catharsis when that son of a bitch gets kicked, literally or otherwise.

Huey gets a 10/10. No, I’m not exaggerating. He isn’t the most impressive villain in the franchise. He’s not flashy, or hammy, or over-the-top and exciting. Huey is a very real, very miserable type of person who is cowardly, self-serving, and loathsome, and it is just so much fun to watch him suffer for his own sins. He is the epitome of “love to hate” villains; it’s just such a blast to despise this man and attribute everything awful to him, even if it isn’t really his fault. He’s a dark deconstruction of the lovable coward, he’s an utterly evil reprehensible bastard, and I hate him oh so very much… but it’s the kind of hate that I’m happy to have.

Fuck you, Huey.

[samwellwinchesterthebrave]

Because I can't let this go.

I've said before that the finale felt like the perfect ending for season 1 Sam and Dean and Cas not existing. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes and the more right it feels to me.

I'm also starting to think it was completely intentional.

There were so many callbacks to season 1 in that finale. From Jenny (who I didn't even remember until the flashback) to the clothes Sam and Dean were wearing in the final scene. It could have been a love letter to their beginnings. It could have been a "look where we started, look how far we've come" type of callback.

It wasn't.

Instead, to me, it felt like a deliberate attempt to -recreate- season 1. It was an attempt to roll back the entire story to that point, when Dean was 26 and Sam was 21. To when Sam was a boy trying to escape a life he didn't want and Dean was an older boy trying to live up to the ideals of an abusive, broken father.

To get meta about it, which it's Supernatural so why not?, the first season was about the only season where the show was under control. It was new, still trying to establish itself and find its legs and audience. The actors were still settling into their characters, filling in the silhouettes they'd been given.

Sam was still the angry, rebellious son who couldn't take being told what to do anymore when he desperately didn't want the life he was told to live.

Dean was still the one-dimensional party boy, never looking past the next burger, the next fight, the next woman. The dutiful son who did what he was told no matter how much it hurt.

The show was supposed to appeal to the white, cis, straight male population. I kind of wonder if the showrunners and network hoped to pull viewers from the X-Files because the shows are somewhat similar. And, iirc, the X-Files ended around 2005? But it was supposed to represent a kind of red-blooded American male dream of the open road, classic car and music, burgers and fries, and willing women whenever you wanted. It was supposed to be the little guys' big damn hero moment.

But then it grew. Thanks in a lot of ways to Jensen Ackles and the depth he gave Dean. Also thanks to Misha Collins, later on, and how he portrayed Castiel.

And so, the show grew a life of its own, beyond what the creators had intended. Like Sam, it rebelled against the box it had been pigeonholed into. It decided, thanks to the wonderful actors and writers and fans who decidedly weren't the original demographic, that this wasn't all it was. New characters were introduced, changing the feel of it from the Sam and Dean show to a whole world. It changed and developed a soul of its own.

"Family don't end in blood"

"Always keep fighting"

These became the touchstones of the show, of what it had become. Against all odds and attempts to wrench it back, the show expanded. Side characters were loved, given prominence, given importance. An angel who was supposed to die after a 3 episode arc became a lead. Another angel who was meant to become a love interest died. (Essentially, they swapped places)

Which brings me back around to the finale. In 15.18, Castiel confessed his love to Dean. It had been there all along in subtext, in action, in expressions and body language. But now it was spoken aloud (no longer the love that dare not speak its name) and irrefutable. He did it to speak his truth, to acknowledge who he was, and to save the man he loved. He was also killed for it, a classic example of the Bury Your Gays trope. While his death was meaningful and accomplished a goal, it still followed the trope.

And because it happened so fast, Dean has no time to respond. Death, literally, is beating down the door to get to them. He has been taught all his life to repress his emotions, to swallow down anything that wasn't anger. This is also his best friend saying goodbye, to dying once again. And Dean had believed he wasn't worthy of love, that angels couldn't love in the same way humans did.

So we're left with resounding silence on Dean's end, a love confession heard but not responded to. We don't hear Dean's side but we see him fall apart after Cas is taken by the Empty.

Then 15.19 wraps up the season. We get Lucifer tricking Dean with Cas's voice over a phone call. Always before, when the devil is trying to gain entrance somewhere, we see him using the person's significant other. The subtext here screams. We see Dean bolting up the stairs to open the door, likely words burning on his lips, only to find Lucifer.

Dean never mentions the confession to Sam. But we do see him mourning. He also never says anything in return to the confession. There's a resounding silence on Dean's side as he tries to process losing Cas again. But he does use what Cas has told him, the words that changed how Dean views himself, to beat Chuck.

Then, in the finale, Sam brings up Cas and Dean doesn't take this opportunity to tell Sam either. He says that they need to live or Cas's sacrifice was in vain. Which, fair, but it still feels like not something Dean would say. No asking Jack if there's any way to get Cas out of the Empty, no research to see if there's a way? Nothing?

The writing has moved past the confession, burying it hurriedly and hoping to never refer to it again. It takes a hard turn back to season 1 with a monster of the week hunt. We see the brothers on their own, no found family or support around them. They have Miracle and it's adorable. But Sam barely notices the dog in the beginning, which always seemed off to me. Sam canonically loves dogs and he has nothing to do with the one Dean finally adopts?

They pull out John's journal again, looking for information and guidance from their father and his hunts once again. They fight vampires, Dean fumbling in the fight in a way we've never seen him do. Then he's killed by a piece of rebar in his back on a vanilla monster hunt and Sam goes on to live the apple pie, white picket fence life.

This would have been a good ending for who they started as. Dean dying on a hunt he'd dedicated his life to, saving innocents and standing for those who couldn't stand for themselves. Sam escaped a life he never wanted and lived the calm, normal life he'd always longed for with a family of his own. And later, they reunite in Heaven.

Just the brothers. No family, no extended family, no friends. Ignoring what the show has been saying, the core of its soul, for the past 10 years, at the least.

It felt like a last ditch attempt to drag the show back into the red-blooded straight American male wet dream no matter what. No matter who was dropped along the way and what themes and messages were ignored. Even Eileen was dropped, the woman Sam had been in love with throughout the entire last season.

It was a disconnect from the season. To me, it felt like it was trying to reclaim a personality that had long ago changed and grown. It was a regression and not just a fond callback

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 40 - watching notes

For some reason, my last liveblog post got more attention than any of the ones I did before and quite a few people followed me because of it. Welcome everyone! 👋😊 I hope you enjoy this quarantine-endused obsession of mine 😅

The Juniors are still semi-fighting about their judgement of wei Wuxian and his actions. I find this interesting mainly because it's a good example of how gossips and rumours can evolve into facts if passed on enough times. To Jin Ling, who was a baby when thys all happened and who only ever heard this tale from very biased sources, wwx's wickedness is a fact so irrefutable, the mere thought that someone might disagree is ridiculous

I've forgotten his name, but he's too precious :D

I'm howling! The way the Juniors scatter when lwj enters is too cute 😂

Also, thanks to @allhailthedramallama I now know that some of their actors are older than Wang Yibo and I can't not think about that now!

Everyone internally: liquor ... Hanguang Jun is ordering ... liquor

Lwj: don't you dare make a comment!

Did jl just literally stab his foot with his chopsticks? 😂

Lsz being shook by his Hanguang Jun buying Alcohol is right up there with my favourite moments of this show :D Poor baby. That must've rocked his world

Protect them at all costs! 😭😭😭

I got a new brotp and it's Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi 😍

Protect HIM at all cost!!! 😭😭😭

(Nevermind, he's already dead)

😏

He can't believe that lwj would bring him liquor 😭

Also, I'm pretty sure lwj is very worried of what might happen if more people find out wwx is alive, considering there's someone out there trying to frame him

How much of a stab in the heart do you recon it is for lwj every time wwx doesnt remember the song he wrote for him? 🥺

Okay, so Lan Xichen guves them a chance to proof that it isn't wex who's behind everything. But honestly, why do they think it's a good idea for him to just wander into the Jin sect's home with only a mask to disguise him?

I really liked the visuals of wwx and lwj walking after lan Xichen like that. Just aesthetically. 🤷‍♀️

I feel like the carved image of their sworn brothers ceremony is a very deliberate reminder. One of them is already dead ... I hope it's not foreshadowing for another dying or something similar :/

Lwj gently encouraging an obviously nervous wwx ... my heart :')

There is NOTHING that gets me quite as much as the "stoic one" never cracking a smile, always serious letting their guard down in front of the one they love. And that's just lwj in a nutshell. I wanna hug him!!! 😭 (expect he wouldn't like that and I respect his boundaries :P)

That encounter with Jiang Cheng was SO uncomfortable 🙈

This gesture if catching him mid-bow STILL makes me weep 😭😭😭 ... they're equals, still!!!

So Jin Ling just hit from Jiang Cheng at his other uncle's place? 😂

If Jin Guangyao didn't recognize wwx on the spot, I'll eat his ridiculous hat

What is this world we've stumbled into??? Wwx is afraid of embarrassing lwj who's just says "Suit yourself"??? What is this, the upside down? 😱

Is Quin Su Jin Guangyao's wive?

And she knows Mo Xuanyu judging from that look

I should mention at this point, that I read the first view chapters of the novel (up to where the flashback starts on the show). That's why I know that Mo Xuanyu has a connection to the Jin clsn. Otherwise I'd be hopelessly confused by the fact that everyone there seems to know him

But what I missed, if it's been mentioned before is that somehow, Jin Guangyao is sect leader now?? His father died I guess?

Okay what? Did Mo Xuanyu and Quin Su got something going in the past or why does she look so supremely uncomfortable in his presence?

Nie Huaisang, still drama queen no1. Godda love him

"The thing has been solved, but new problems have appeared 😭😭😭"

☝️I feel you man ... i feel you. Adulthood sucks

Let's all be 16 again and go back to Gusu ...

How often does this happen? 😂

Again, I feel you Huaisang. I, too, would like to hug Lan Xichen and get him to solve all my problems *sighs*

Jin ling actually protecting mo Xuanyu wwx ...

Oh so that's why Quin su is uncomfortable around him :/

Jin Ling is soooo much like Jiang Cheng! All "only I can bully my brotheruncle! Don't you dare tough him! Fight me!" :D

I'm so here for Jin Ling and wwx bonding! 😭

He never got to be the uncle he could have been but bow he does!! 😭

Giving terrible advice has never been so touching :D

Another paper man like he created at Guzu!

This is the cutest shit I've ever seen!!! 😭😭😭

Tge little kiss! The touching the forehead ribbon!

I mean ...

Look at it! 🥺

Also, very sneaky wwx :D

What's that music?? Sounds like the little paper man is on his way downtown on his longboard 😂😂😂

So, I'm guessing that wwx somehow transfered his cognition to the paper man?

Oh no ... what happened to Quin Su?

I hate it when obviously something scandalous happened, but they keep dancing around it like "is it true, what this letter says?" JUST to keep up the suspense for the audience. I wanna know!!!

What did JGY do?? 😥

Wait wait wait ... who is this A-Song and should I know them?

Oh, it's their son ... was their son

This scene is killing me! Just tell me what he (allegedly) did!

What the hell kinda secret would he have killed his son for??

Holy shit, what did he just du this wife?

That is a weirdly pretty torture dungeon

Also ... kudos once more to the actor

That performance was chilling

Aaargh wwx, don't be so careless 😳

I'm not one for suspense today 🙈

Ighh

That's the hat!!! So ... jin Guangyao took it. But why?? Seriously that's the thing I've been asking myself with him since he first started to act suspiciously. Why? He's already sect leader. What more could he want?

So wex is now performing empathy while he's already somehow transfered his cognition? 😳

That's a mean cliffhanger! 😭

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose (just 10 episodes left 😭)

[nightowlgazette]

Where Secrets Flow Like Water

In 1912—108 years ago today—one of California's most celebrated performers was born. In his heyday, Gary Golden was hailed as one of Hollywood’s brightest stars. Now, sixty years after his last film, his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame serves as a landmark for visiting cinephiles, and fresh bouquets with elaborately written cards continue to show up on the actor’s grave in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. 

But his ghost does not watch over the famous graveyard along with Rudolph Valentino and Clifton Webb; instead, some way further than six feet under, Gary has built an unlife for himself in the Hollywood Warrens, and it’s there we were given the opportunity to meet with him a few nights ago.

Gary Golden has been a fixture in Los Angeles longer than he’s been kindred, and as a former movie star, he has a unique advantage; in a world of masks and facades, Gary is a professional actor.

“We’re all actors in our own way, Eliot. Consummate liars and manipulators by nature. You show me an “honest vampire” and I’ll show you a walking contradiction”

As a former star of the silver screen, it comes as no surprise that Gary’s previous experience has come in handy following his embrace. When one is accustomed to spending time with people who lie and perform for a living, it becomes easier to read between the lines and discern the actual meaning behind someone’s words. And in kindred society, a world filled with intricacies, court intrigue, and politics, that is undoubtedly a very valuable talent to have in your corner.

However, beyond his, as Gary put it, “built-in bullshit detector”, another skill from his past the Nosferatu Primogen has come to rely on his charisma. 

While the first instinct of many a recently embraced kindred would be to lay low and keep to themselves, Gary was quick to make a name for himself, and if you want a name to last, you need the charisma to carry it. The proof of his skills in charisma is irrefutable as, hate him or love him, those who haven’t heard of Gary Golden can be counted in one hand.

On the Night Owl Gazette, we have spoken before about the different venues and opportunities dealing in information offers -more notably in the cases of The Archivist and The Spider who are both notorious for their skill in discovering secrets and hidden knowledge- yet from within the mystery and intrigue that gives such careers a Bond air, a question arises; what does the world look like when one has access to so much information?

“Well, I was already kind of a hard-boiled cynic before the Embrace, and if anything, this has only reinforced my views.[…] Everyone who is anyone in Kindred society has done something they aren't proud of, and you will find those skeletons in the closet if you dig deep enough. It's hard to be anything but sarcastic once you're privy to all those gory details...world's gone mad and has -always- been that way. In short, I'm a pessimist, and probably always going to be that way.”

When you work with information, disillusionment can become a daily occurrence; soon enough, you start to expect it, so the grim nature of Gary’s response was far from unexpected. However, perhaps exactly due to that, I was surprised by the afterthought that followed;  

“But sometimes something catches you by surprise, and you hold on to that hope for change, maybe this time the world might be getting just a little bit better, and staying that way.”

As a self-proclaimed cynic, the feeling behind Gary’s initial response makes sense. However, it seems there is a sliver of light in this cynic’s heart, and it’s a good thing too; after all, eternity is a long time to spend without hope.

They say death is only the end if you assume the story is about you, but for Gary Golden death merely marked the beginning of Act Two. 

And the show must go on.

Eliot Wilde, journalist and writer for Night Owl and host of Night Owl FM

[nerdy-as-heck]

Bitterly By Your Side

A/N: Me? Posting a fic for the first time in 8 months? I'm just as surprised as you are. Ao3 Link

Summary: Logan is a world-renowned author, but not for his scientific journals. For a romance novel he never intended to publish, and an upcoming movie that would finally get the two it was inspired by together.

Ships: Pre-Prinxiety, background Logicality

Warnings: None

There were a lot of things in this world that didn’t make much sense to Logan. What made someone hate a specific group of people for an unchangeable part of their identity? Why would some people continue to believe a falsehood even after being shown irrefutable evidence? Why the fuck is college so expensive? But this. This went beyond every question that Logan could ask himself. Any amount of logic he tried to apply would shatter into a thousand pieces.

For years, Logan had been a distinguished author. Dozens of academic papers, journals, books, and articles were published under his name, making more breakthroughs in science than one could have ever imagined possible. Some were small advancements, granted, but none were insignificant. But that’s not why the general public knows Logan’s name.

Ten years getting a PhD in Astrophysics and one Nobel prize later, Logan Berry’s name is on the Best-Selling Romance Novel section in every bookstore across the country. And Logan will continue to blame his husband for it every time someone asks.

Not that it was really /entirely/ Patton’s fault. Both of them had been sick of Roman and Virgil’s pining that had been going on since freshman year of college. At least Logan’s infatuation had only lasted a month or so before bluntly asking Patton if he finds him physically attractive; that story always gets a laugh every time they tell it. The four of them had been suitemates during their first year, with Logan and Roman sharing their room while Patton and Virgil had the adjoining one. That was nearly twelve years ago, and yet the two of them still seemed to be clueless as to the other’s emotions, even with all four of them once again living in the same apartment.

All Patton had said was he wished there was a way to see them get together, like a movie or something. Now, Logan couldn't direct or act, but he could write. So, naturally, he did the only thing a sane person would do; he stayed up for three days straight writing a 300 page chaotic mess of the two falling in love. Perhaps it was a bit dramatic, and it definitely ended up being far longer than he had intended. But Logan’s train of thought never seemed to stay quite on track when it came to making his soulmate happy.

Of course, Logan had no interest in simply reading it over and over again himself; he printed out the pages and presented it to Patton as an early birthday present. Logan was under the impression that Patton knew it was a simple gift for his eyes only, nothing more. But Patton hadn’t quite gotten that impression.

Logan hadn’t necessarily made it a ‘fanfiction’. Yes, it was about two hopelessly oblivious in love college roommates that got together in the end. The thing that kept it unique was neither character revealing their actual name until the very ending, instead choosing to use a nom de plume. In this particular case, Roman had called himself “Merlin” and Virgil went by “Storm”. Neither the reader nor the characters within the story would learn their true names until the last chapter.

Apparently Patton did not read to the last chapter. Instead, about halfway through, he had believed it was a good idea to take it straight to a publisher; he couldn’t believe Logan had trusted him with the draft of his first novel!

It wasn’t until Logan got a copy of the book in the mail, fully printed and with his name on the cover, did he realize why Patton hadn’t commented on it after finishing. “Bitterly By Your Side” was already in every store in town and quickly spreading. Logan quickly pulled Patton into their shared room to discuss this with him and show the last page; needless to say, Patton was humiliated that he had done such a thing. It took hours to calm him down. Logan simply believed the book would not be popular and it would be taken down from the shelves in a matter of a few weeks.

He could not have been more wrong.

People slowly began to recognize Logan on the streets, asking for photos or to sign their copy of the book. Stores would reach out to him and schedule book signings, which Logan reluctantly went to as a chance to promote some of his other works. No one was buying any of that.

This was about two years ago. Logan had always scolded Roman and Virgil for not reading as often as they should, but it was unexplainable how grateful he was that they never listened. Not once in those years did the two step foot in a bookstore, see Logan scatter away for a photo when he was found in public, or questions the ‘meeting’ Logan seemed to be going to every other week.

By this point, Logan had gotten used to how things were. It was bringing in money to support the entire group, and no one was hurting for it. Though it still confused him why this was the case, he had accepted it as an unexplainable cosmic phenomenon. Logan didn’t even think twice when allowing a company that approached him to make a movie adaptation, with the promise that Logan could supervise on site, of course.

Months later, and somehow the two’s obliviousness had only gotten worse. It was a true miracle that they never noticed Logan being gone all the time or that Roman didn't pick up on the potential movie acting gig. Though the last wasn’t much of a coincidence; Logan always checked their mail and tossed out any advertisements for it.

Logan had only looked over one important detail; the company picking up the story was Disney. And regardless if they had heard about it before, Virgil and Roman both had a dedication to watching it together day it shows up on Netflix. Patton would always tease Virgil about it being their little “date night”, which would be received by a shove and Virgil’s hood coming up to hide his face.

On the night that this happened, Logan was out late at a midnight book signing, and Patton had agreed to go with to drive him home in case Logan was too exhausted. So for the first time in quite a while, Roman and Virgil had the whole apartment to themselves for movie night. As tradition, Virgil grabbed popcorn, snacks, and drinks, running back to the couch just before Roman clicked play.

“Are you ready for what is sure to be the GREATEST FILM of ALL TIME?”

“You say that every time, Princey. Bitterly By Your Side may be Disney, but its a dumb romance too. It can’t be that good.”

Of course Roman scoffed at that, but before he could continue the argument, Virgil just threw a handful of popcorn at his face and hit play. Storm happened to be the first character that came on screen, and the second Roman saw the actor’s face he gasped and leaned forward.

“That man… Is the love of my life.” Virgil couldn’t help but to laugh at the dramatics of such an early declaration, and for a short time Roman stared at Virgil rather than at the movie.

“You think that guy is good looking? Don’t be ridiculous, he looks like a ten year old that got into his mom’s makeup.” Roman could only glare at Virgil for a few minutes before Merlin came on screen. And then it was Roman’s turn to laugh as Virgil’s jaw literally dropped.

“You can’t be serious! Storm is far more attractive than /that/ over dramatic piece of work!” Virgil didn’t even have the words to argue at the moment, simply shoving a hand over Roman’s mouth as Merlin already had a shirtless scene. It wasn’t more than five seconds later, though, that Virgil realized what he had done and practically shrieked, crawling to the other side of the couch. “S-Sorry… But if that doesn’t prove Merlin is the best, then nothing will.” A simple joke had now turned into a full out war between the two, pointing out each small quality in the other character that made them far superior.

“Look at Storm’s purple eyes! And that long hair, I just want to run my hand through it and kiss that man.”

“They’re probably contacts anyway! Merlin has the swoop in his hair that at least doesn’t block his /actual/ green emerald eyes!”

“But that’s the thing, Storm is so shy yet abrasive at the same time! His hiding just makes his natural beauty all the better!”

“Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t hear you over Merlin’s fifth shirtless scene.”

Of course, it was all joking banter. Despite the insults thrown from time to time, this was a typical thing for the two of them, and tonight wasn’t any different. It only finally died down at a point where the movie was getting ready to end. For some reason, Roman was a moron. Well. Virgil knew that already. A cute moron, but still a moron, one that had decided to run to the bathroom right after the climax of the movie and refused to let Virgil pause it. In the short time, Roman was gone, that was all the movie needed to make Virgil’s fight or flight response kick in.

“Now that we’re dating, shouldn’t I at least get to know your name, angel?”

“...Its Virgil.”

“Roman. A pleasure to finally meet the real you.”

That was. A weird coincidence. But with anxiety, nothing ever felt like things could be so coincidental. So once Roman came back, Virgil was on his phone, googling the book, and every word he read just made his face burn even more.

  Bitterly By Your Side is a romance novel by Logan Berry, published in 2017. In recent interviews, he has confessed to it being inspired by real life events and people he knows, though for now he wishes the details to remain private.

...Oh Logan is so dead when he gets back.

“H e y!” Virgil was next to be assaulted with popcorn as he pulled his hood up to avoid Roman seeing his face right now. “Get off your phone and watch the eye candy! Storm is back on screen!”

...Storm. The character inspired by Virgil. That Roman had been calling hot all night long. And Virgil had done the same to Merlin. Virgil didn’t focus much on the rest of the movie, far too busy trying to hide his ever reddening face and cursing the entire world. Once the movie finally ended, Roman stood up to give the TV a round of applause. But before the credits, there was one more thing…

  And now, an interview with the author of the original book: Logan Berry!

Roman was understandably shocked and sat back down, confused as to when Logan had written a book without telling them. With every word spoken on the show, Virgil’s heart sunk deeper and he made another promise to kill Logan tomorrow.

  Yes, it is true that this novel was inspired on true events. I have two friends that have been obliviously in love with each other for nearly twelve years now, despite mine and my husband’s encouragement for them to confess. Storm and Mer- Well, I suppose I can use their real names now, it's no spoiler since this is shown after the movie. I don't blame either Virgil or Roman for their hopeless pining, it's just something my husband tired of and wished to see come to life in case it never did in person.

After that sentence, Roman was quick to turn off the TV. At least now it made sense why Virgil had curled up into a ball on the couch during the interview. Silence. Silence that lasted far too long for either of them to stand, yet neither had the will to break it.

Surprisingly, Virgil was the one to swallow his pride first. “...so. Eye candy, huh?”

Not even a second later, Virgil felt a pillow hit his head. “Oh shut up! You’re one to talk! Drooling in every shirtless scene in the whole movie!”

There wasn’t a coherent comeback in Virgil’s mind, so instead he just flipped Roman off from his hoodie protection. Roman, being the prick he was, couldn’t let it go so easily though, grabbing Virgil’s hand and ignoring his own pounding heart as he pulled the two closer together. Safe to say, Virgil felt like he was going to explode. “You know the real thing is always better than fiction.”

And then for some unknown reason, one that he would claim to this day as temporary insanity, Virgil’s mind had decided it was time for him to be the moron today. The only thing he could think to do was kiss Roman, so he did. Both were surprised and afraid, but neither pulled away. Not in the first few minutes, not even in the first hour. It was a scene that easily could have rivaled the masterpiece of a movie in itself. By the end of it, they were both out of breath and exhausted, choosing to simply sleep together on the couch.

“...goodnight, Storm…” “Night, Merlin.”

Still. They were going to kill Logan in the morning. But for now, it was just them, and that was enough.

[berkblockman]

Starting right now // Barry Berkman x reader

Pairing: Barry Berkman x actingclassmate!reader Word count: 1447 Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, grieve,. I don’t really know, it’s my first time writing warnings for a one shot. Prompt: You find Barry, your scene partner, having a mental breakdown after your performance. Having dealt with anxiety in your own flesh, you try your best to help him out. (a/n): So this is my first time writing anything in a long time in 2 or 3 years, more or less, so I hope there aren’t many mistakes (english isn’t my first lenguage). Anyway, feel free to correct me if I misspelled any word. I hope you enjoy this one shot.

You had sweat all over as you felt the spotlights focused on you, being well aware that every person in that room was looking at you, making you even more nervous. Well, it was not the first time that you had acted in front of a crowd, but every time you did it felt like it was indeed. It was true that, since you were on the acting class, you had learned to deal with your anxiety, but it never really goes away, and it was on moments of pressure like this one that you notice it the most.

Taking a deep, silent breathe, you waited for your partner to show up and say his line so you could start with your soliloquy, but Barry didn’t seem to show up. You tried your best to stay in character and don’t freak out, but your heart was beating so fast that you feared that the public could listen to it. And just when you were about to start your speech without the reply of your partner, you watched on the corner on your eye how he walked in. Staying in character, you turned to him slowly.

His entire face was covered in tears and his breathing was extremely heavy for what you could see. He seemed absolutely afflicted.

“My lord, the Queen is dead.”

The words came out of his mouth almost as a whine, as if he couldn’t hold himself back from the sorrow he was feeling. Either he was a way better actor than you thought or he was going through some heavy stuff. You felt your heart ache seeing him like this, he was always nice and supportive with you and you had become quite fond of him.

For a few seconds you had forgotten where you were and, as the tears began to stream down your face you realized that you had to get back in character. You took another deep breathe to focus and the words began to came out of your mouth. For a few seconds you forgot about everything and let the character take your place on that stage.

After you finished your last words, the lights went down and you stood there again, in complete silent. Then the clapping started, and all the cast came to the stage for the curtain call. Everyone except Barry, you probably were the only one who noticed. You got out of the stage and went backstage as soon as you could, looking for him. When you finished a play you usually felt joy and gratitude, but now you felt worry taking over your entire being. Maybe it was nothing, but you had to check on him – Just in case.

You finally found him. He was alone, walking around the room and shaking his hands nervously. He didn’t seem to notice you as you stood in the hallway, trying to find the right way to approach him. You looked at him as he punched a mirror and screamed, probably not knowing how to manage his feelings. You couldn’t help but to be taking aback by this, not really expecting that from him. That was the moment when he turned and saw you staring back at him. You wanted to help him, but you didn’t know how to do it, so you tried to empathize with him. You didn’t want to ask him if he was ok – it was more than clearly that he was not – and you didn’t want him feeling like you felt when you had a mental breakdown because of the anxiety and somebody was telling you that everything was going to be okay. In that moment you don’t feel like everything is going to be okay and people telling you that only leads to more desperation.

So you did your best to stay calmed and you looked at him in the eyes.

“Barry, can I do something to help you?” You asked.

When you were in the middle of an anxiety attack, all that you wanted was for someone to stay by your side, so you hoped that Barry wanted that too. He stayed silent and you couldn’t quite decode the look on his face, but then he started to cry heavily. He sat on a chair, covering his face with his hands. As you came closer and sat by his side, you realized that his fist was bleeding from the punch he had thrown into the mirror earlier.

“I am here for you, okay?” You assured him. “If you want talk about anything that’s going on or if you just want someone to be by your side. I am here.”

He took his hands out of his face and looked at the blood on his right fist; you could still see the tears going down his face.

“I don’t deserve it.” He simply said, the images of him killing his friend still going on inside his head. He didn’t feel like he was able to look at your face right now.

“Everyone deserves to be able to rely on someone.” You replied and put your hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him.

“I’ve done awful things.” He finally looked at you in the eye, trying his best to catch his breathe.

“Everyone has done awful things.” You put your hands on his face, cleaning the tears running down his cheeks. “That’s what makes us humans. But that doesn’t mean we can’t improve.”

“But I am a bad person” He said, as if it was an irrefutable fact.

You would have never thought of Barry as a bad person. For you, he was this funny, dorky, tall guy in your acting class. He was always really nice and, although you didn’t know him for more than a few months, you already thought of him as of someone you could trust in. Seeing him this way wasn’t changing your opinion on him, it was just making you realize that he had some issues and that he needed help to deal with them.

“You are not a bad person, Barry.” You stated. “You are not a bad person to me. I don’t care if you’ve done things you regret, you are not the only one that have. And you caring about the stuff that you’ve done means that you are good.”

Barry was a bit calmer. He was staring at you, trying to comprehend every word that was coming out of your mouth, because he wanted to believe you.

“But I can’t fix what I’ve done…” Barry thought of Chris once again.

“Well, we can’t change the past.” You sighed “But we can make our own choices and we can avoid the same mistakes that we’ve done in the past.”

You took Barry’s bleeding hand in yours, you needed to clean that wound. So you stood up and, without letting go of Barry’s hand, you guided him to the bathroom, where there was a first aid kit. You put some alcohol into the cut, cleaning the blood that was still on his skin. He hissed at the feeling of the liquid burning on him.

“I’m sorry…” You immediately apologized.

“It’s okay” Barry said, looking at you. “Thank you for everything.”

“It’s not a big deal…” You replied, while you were putting the alcohol back to his place. “I also feel like that sometimes, so I know how bad it sucks.” You smiled at him. “I’m glad if I could be helpful at all.”

Barry smiled back at you. He wasn’t completely okay, but he was feeling a lot better than before.

“Hey, everyone must be going to the bar now.” You remembered that you just had performed and that now all the cast was going to celebrate it. “It’s totally understandable if you don’t want to come, but maybe it will be good for you. I don’t want to pressure you or anything.” You sighed. “If you decide to go home I can say that you had a headache or something.”

“I’d love to go.” He finally said, making a smile appear on your face.

“Cool.” You said happily. “I’ll go get my car’s keys. I can drive us to the bar.”

He watched you as you got out of the bathroom and sighed as he thought about your words again. He wanted to believe that they were true, that everyone, even him, could improve, and be able to redeem himself. Barry wanted to leave his past behind, he wanted to be a better person for you. And although he couldn’t change his past, he could try to be the man that you thought he was.

He could be better, starting right now.