#but he's probably not thinking 'oh this will make my gf feel bad so she'll definitely do what I want next time!!!!'

[dirkxcaliborn]

Reddit is absolutely insane sometimes. "my boyfriend gets sad when I don't want to watch him play video games and doesn't feel like playing anymore."

"Your boyfriend is a childish control freak" < not even paraphrased. That's literally how the comment started word for word.

[toecrust69]

I love the Batsis that’s obsessed with cat woman, can we see how she Interacts with Selina in person?

A/N: OMG IM LITERALLY SO GLAD U ASKED. Also, sorry if this took a long time to answer!!

Oh and ur like 13 or 12 in this and Bruce and Selina are in a relationship (sorry if this was a stupid thing to metion)

I feel like it definitely depends on the situation, yk?

By that I mean whether or not batsis knows about Selina being Catwoman

If she doesn't know about it, she'll definitely fangirl about it to her

Since nobody else in the manor wants to talk about it, she's your last resort

It doesn't make her uncomfortable tho, she actually finds it kinda amusing

Like

Can you imagine your boyfriends daughter fangiling about how hot, badass, cool, and iconic you are without even knowing they're fangirling over you?

She'd listen closely to every word you say, pride swelling up in her chest

"She's so cool! I'm honestly kinda jealous of Batman." She smirked and looked over her shoulder at you before responding.

"Really? How so?" She asked curiously.

"I dunno man, I think it's the fact that he gets to hang out with her everyday. If I ever see batman I'm gonna ask him for her number."

"Hang on, how old are you? And how do you know Bruce won't blow up?" You stopped chewing on your cereal for a second, thinking about what you'd say next

"First of all, Bruce should be proud of me! I just got the phone number of one of the hottest and most iconic people to ever live. If he doesn't feel proud or at the very least jealous, I don't know how he'd feel" you shrugged mindlessly

"Ok, but how old are you?"

"... old enough"

Your definitely her favorite, but she'll never admit it

About the body pillow...

She'd probably buy you more just to piss off Bruce (he had no idea you bought it)

She'd also buy you a bunch of merchandise of her

This includes shirts, shoes, pants, hats, pillows, underwear, glasses, posters, socks, etc.

Are you sad?? Don't worry, she has a catwoman mug in her purse custom made just for you :))

On the other hand, if you already know who she is, it's gonna be a bit of a mess

You'd definitely figure it out after fangirling about her for almost 6 months

You'd feel a bit embarrassed for a second before quickly recovering and going back to normal (for the most part)

To say the least, you'd constantly try to get her number or at the very least flirt with her

You know those tiktoks talking abt poetic rizz? Just imagine that if they were brought to life and now it's you

You'd follow her around the halls of the manor and batcave while reading out one of the latest poems you either read or made just for her

She ends up having to stiffle a laughe whenever your reading it to her and Bruce comes in with a huge frown on his face

He'd tell you to stop only for you to continue shortly after he leaves the room

" I would rather swim in a stormy sea than sail calm waters without yo-" you were quickly interrupted when Bruce came busting through the door with a huge frown on his face

"Stop it! She's almost 20 years older than you, leave her alone"

"Oh my bad, I'll stop" you answered dryly

"Good" He said sternly before walking out the room, leaving you and Selina alone. You turned around to look at her with a cocktail smirk, "I think he's jealous I'm trying to steal his girl and it's actually working ;)"

Yea no Bruce absolutely hates it

He doesn't like the fact that her daughter is getting more attention from his gf than him😭😭

But he knows that she'd never leave him for a 13 year old girl with amazing rizz like you, right?

... right?

Every time she comes back from a mission without you, you'd ask he about it

You'll listen intently to every word she says, making tiny comments every now and then

Once you turn 18, you'd rent an apartment and let her know so she can visit whenever she wants (yea ur still obsessed with her)

One time, you ended up not going on patrol for a whole week because you were sickand she came to visit you with chicken soup in her hands

You thanked her profusely and kept on offering her some stuff like water or food but she always declined

She was your guest after all

Am iconic one at that

She'd watch movies with you for a while before eventually forcing you to sleep

Then next day she'd invite you to go rob some jewelry stores with her, ivy, and harley

Speaking of ivy and harley

they absolutely adore you!!

Ivy never fails to notice how all the plants around you seem to lean into you when you walk past them

Your like a magnet and she seems to have gotten stuck onto you as well

I REALLY HOPE THAT MADE SENSE😭😭

Harley also can't help but notice the way her hyenas cuddle up to your legs whenever you come over to her apartment

She'd smile softly from the kitchen as she watched you play around with Bud and Lou

Oh and Selinas cats also like u

You're actually kinda fond of cats but you've never met any until one day when you can over to Selinas appartment

You'd only ever seen cats on TV or on the internet but never in real life

You were having fun playing around with her 10 cats until you began aggressively sneezing lmao

You ended up spread out on the floor, arms outstretched as the cats began surrounding you

You were still sneezing, just not as bad anymore

That was until one of the cats walked up to your face and began licking your face

You could feel a strong sneeze coming up but you didn't want to scare him away so you ended up having to hold your breath so you wouldnt sneeze

You held it in for such a long time that even Selina wondered how you were still alive

But you couldn't hold it in for too long so you ended up sneezing anyways lmao

Sorry if this was kinda short, should I make a pt.2??

Oh and credits to @thesharktanksdriver , she inspired me to make this and u can tell bc I used the same layout as her. Her writing is amazing and I highly recommend you read it!!

[broz0neglitters]

𝙵𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚒𝚝 𝙸 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 💜💖

Poppy x Val Dating Headcanons

warning: Cussing

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Blogger notes: I know you all are probably sick of reading my SMUT and NSFW but I'm giving that a break anyways I decide to write some fluff and non smut for poppy and val in trollstopia I personally ship them they are total girlfriends haha anyways I feel like poppy can both date branch and val at the same time so I'll probably write a poly relationship w poppy,branch and val I'll even do a smut one in the future but in the mean time here's some fluff and non-smut for you all while I take a break enjoy <3

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-Poppy Knows that her girlfriend Val loves her but she wouldn’t admit that Val loves her intentionally

-Val is shy about telling poppy how she feels such as "I love you." and stuff

-Val isn't much of a PDA But she'll only let poppy hold her hands/link arms with her that its much like branch she would rather keep that PDA Private or when she's alone

-Poppy and Val has a whole playlist of songs that they will listen to when they hangout or do stuff together etc

-Val isn't big on going out on a date but she'll definitely take poppy on a date once a week but it usally something that val would do rather than what poppy would do poppy was hoping that her rockstar Gf would take her on a picnic date

-Val is overprotective of poppy she won't let any trolls near poppy not even branch or her father...

"Uhh, Vals Can I please just talk to my dad please you know him he would never hurt me." Poppy said

"Oh, Sorry poppy I'll put him down." Val said

-Val was deadass afraid that poppy father would think bad about her because she made a bad first impression

-Poppy Would drag Val to a taylor swift concert

-Val and Poppy had taylor swift friendship Bracelets <3

-Val Loves it when poppy hugs her and flirt w her it makes her blush she won’t admit that

-They have matching phone case and everything Holly wasn't jealous she knew that poppy and Val are dating so she doesn’t mind

-They have nicknames for each-other but Val allowed poppy to call her nickname when they are alone

-During their alone time Val and Poppy would lay on top of each-other the couch while Val Combed her soft fingers through poppy hair Val likes how soft poppy hair were

-Val would watch what ever poppy watches but sooner she would beg poppy to let her pick a movie/show

"Okay, if I let you watch your show/Movie if I get scared promise me you'll hold me?" Poppy said giving her that puppy eye

As Val groans "Okay, fine pop squeaks" (I think I spelled that wrong)

-Val Would let poppy play,style her hair

-Val usally spends the weekends with poppy meaning that they have sleepovers

-Poppy would be the one to wake Val up cause Val likes to sleep in

-Val don’t mind hugging other trolls but she will and can hug poppy for hours even days even til death due them apart

-Val Loves brushing poppy soft hair even if poppy did or didn't ask Val would still brush poppy hair because Val loves how soft her hair was so Val desperately ask poppy for a hair care routine

-Poppy try to get Val to say I love you to her so poppy would have to force it on Val so she and Val would watch a romantic movie together

"So Val, Is there somthing you wanna say to me?" Poppy asked teasing her

"Uh, no poppy I clearly don't and why are we watching this romance movie anyways is making me feel weird." Val said looking away you can tell she's blushing

-At the end of the movie she would give val a kiss on the cheek "Thanks for watching a movie with me I love you do you love me?" poppy asked teasing Val again knowing that she was feeling weird and she was blushing the whole time

-Val was so annoyed by her GF so she was even blushing harder "Okay fine Poppy since you want to hear it Fuck it I love you okay happy." Val said crossing her arm looking away blushing....

*Poppy was blushing nonstop since then* ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

/) /) ପ(˶•-•˶)ଓ ♡ /づ づ (puff puff) Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it anyways fill free to request me at anytime :^) *it might take a while to get back to you as I mentioned before I would just write it on my own without any requests plus I've school and real life stuff so be patient with your request your requested are heard loud and clear <3 ---------------------- Like + Follow are very much appreciated! *Blush*

[jess-the-vampire]

So...did you see Saberspark's video on svtfoe?

oh yeah i did XDDD

funny enough when i heard he was making one i told my friend "I hope it's 30 minutes"

and it was 30 mintues

i laughed out loud

he covers the show pretty well within the timespan, i know you can't get into everything without it taking awhile because there's much to talk about but he got the main points down.

he ended by saying the ending was not as bad as got, but that it was bad

and i can't really say for sure, i didn't watch got

but i do think in his case, it makes a difference if you were invested in star

he didn't watch star during it's airing time and it seems he did watch got during it's

if you were there for star, and were getting invested in the story and events and theories, the ending is def worse for you then if you watched the show after the fact.

you just don't process how bad it is unless you were invested to the extent the fanbase was.

and it is a shame, even if i know why the fans left, that the show is how it is right now. Because star has the making for a good show, it just had an ending that left little for fans to like.

shows like toh i expect to have fanbases for a long time.

but star's left FAST, and it's a shame, but i get it.

but i also agree with him, the show was popular, so someday it may return in some way or another.

Tho i think in my case i'd be more nervous, given daron seems to kinda ignore the show's flaws.

With toh, it's popular and despite it's own flaws, i feel i can at least trust dana to come back with new toh content and have it be handled well.

i can't say the same for daron herself right now.'

maybe she'll surprise me, i have no idea

but it's a great video, i'm happy the show is still remembered, even if i wish it was for better reasons then we got

i think the fact so many people voted for it and loved it, says a lot

star vs was not a show that was always bad, people are angry BECAUSE it was so good, i have to agree to some extent it deserves to be up with GF and TOH as one of the best disney modern shows.....but it's probably lower on the list given the full execution.

i remember the show fondly to an extent, and it would be nice to see it redeem itself one day.

yeah good video

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary302

7/17-18/24

wednesday - thursday

tired tired tired... up too late rn.

so that means soon i sleep.

some good stuff w/ music today, i got to work on some stuff, another track has been exported so i can listen and see what i think about it, it certainly is a weird one, i want it to be the opener cuz i think the chorus is super catchy in a way that will surprise people, but idk about that honestly. to someone like me though, it is cute and fun. i wanna figure out vocals for that. i also figured out the issues i think with the other song re: drums/ease of understanding it/following what it does. i had to simplify one pattern a bit, make it less idk, offbeat basically.

anyway, outside that, today was errands day... i was able to get pizza too and there are leftovers. my gf was very tired today though, cuz she got in at 3 am yesterday and had to quit the job because they were like, wednesday is a mandatory day, and she was like, i can't do 7 pm to 7 am, and then they were like, well okay. and so that's that. it's not like it would have been too much longer than this anyway. i just feel bad for her cuz she was doing that so much she didn't really have time to process how draining that was for her, so she's kind of crashing today.

anyway, what else. my gf's brother is driving her mother truly coo coo bananas, it's very sad to see. i hope he will become not awful soon. obviously he won't but you know. oh and i felt cute today, at least, or mostly, it's very strange how i will oscillate but part of it really is being able to dress up, i suppose. i didn't take selfies though. idk, i should have, to document it. i feel dumb for not. isn't that so weird? the need to collect proof of feeling cute/ see if i ought to, that's so psycho generally, but the sense i missed out, i feel like i'm lying just putting it in text. something's wrong with me but it just goes too deep to really deal with. or deal with here. it's just me being crazy.

anyway, my gf is doing better now, she'll be even better tomorrow, the whole experience has made her more grateful for the kind of work she already does, she is not used to doing anything very physical, and she did way too much of it in too short a time. i've done more over my whole life but to be like, worked so hard over 4 days is majorly fucked, and it's so hot outside, this warehouse she was in had like little to no ac, probably just some swamp cooler somewhere in the massive thing. maybe i should not have encouraged her to sign up for this because it sounded so crazy and funny... but some parts of it were crazy and funny, but i can't describe those, so do your best to #imagine.

uhmm,, what else. ... too many people dming me on discord right now. it is 3 am... i want to sleep .

it's weird. everything just feels weird. i wish i were not feeling so weird. i don't know what i feel weird about. it's almost like a pregnancy. i dunno. i keep thinking about pregnancy. do i wish i could get pregnant? not really. i wish for other things. if i listed all the stuff i wished for, if i got it all, i think i'd just turn to smoke cuz it's so self negating half the time. i wish my hips were a little wider. i wish i was prettier. i wish i were what i am. i wish i weren't anything. i wish people didn't look at me. i guess people keep wishes so they can have little hypocrisies and discard them just as quick but i hold onto everything . i don't eat all of any animal, but i guess i want to eat all of myself.

why am i thinking about pregnancy though? it's weird. it's been a thing for a while in my head, never before has it been like this. i guess there's something like, can i carry anything to term? am i fertile in any way? i can't imagine myself as anything other than,.. idk, not giving, i'm not motherly certainly, i am very cold, or i think of myself as being cold but i think really i'm sort of just weird emotionally and my gf says i'm sweet and stuff anyway, i'm not giving or warm in normal ways, i think i act too immature to really be warm in a mothering way, but i am, i don't want to say productive or useful, i guess generative is the better word, doing things, i guess i've always, since knowing the word, which has been for a long time cuz i've known it since middle school i imagine, or earlier, the word gestating. i feel things inside me gestating, and have felt that, a resonant chamber inside myself too. i don't know. i don't want a womb, this isn't like, me saying the opposite of how i feel. it's just strange, that this is anything inside my head at all.

final thing before bed, it's also strange how of all people one might need to contend with as a cultural influence, lana del ray is one of them, that she is still the producer of images of what people wish they were, what they are, what they think things should be like, a weird nostalgia which doesn't refuse the present, i guess this fantasy that right now is also the past maybe. i wonder if i'm off in the same ways, or if we all are, if that nostalgic illness is something we're all dealing with. i would like to say no, because i would like to not have to think about anything mark fisher said, not out of hate just cuz i want to move on from that whole moment where everyone was so dour about the idea the past could be strung up like a corpse, carved, repurposed, material, just flatly a material basis and set of methods to dissolve/digest, put those functions to rest and see what rises once again. i also do not care for lana's music, it is weird though that even her visual aesthetic/fans of her aesthetic + pose have crept into producing images / maintaining lines to images/things i like seeing. it feels odd. also a lot of those girlblogging blogs give off such evil vibes, half the time i feel like the ways they are, are just transphobic, i feel as if i am witnessing terfs, i feel fairly certain in fact, it's just all so weirddddd.

anyway , sleepy sleeepy sleepy , so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[vigilvntes]

oh! here's a thought: how do u think the riddler's followers would react to hero!reader? like, are they intimated by her, feel threatened? does riddler ever warn them about her? like, what's the whole take on that because that's definitely something interesting that I'm intrigued by

-❔(I'm just gonna start using this emoji instead of constantly saying hero!reader and dano!riddler anon)

AGGHHH OKAY SO

i think his followers would definitely know OF her. like they'd definitely be aware of her and their ongoing rivalry, but im in two minds about how much he'd actually share about her and whatever the hell is going on between them.

i kinda hc him as having like,, a tier system. you know like patreon??? like if he's gonna do it he might as well make money! so he has the regular streams and stuff, and then he has the stuff you have to pay for. i think the regular viewers would probably know about her (from the news, and if he mentions her once or twice) but i don't think he'd say anything too personal about her.

but i do think he'd share quite a lot on paid live streams, because those who pay to see it are probably the most loyal/trustworthy right?? like the regular viewers and possibly even people he's made kinda sorta friends with.

i think he'd tell them his plans for her, how his previous plans worked out. i obviously don't think he'd share the full extent of their relationship, he's not gonna be caught in 4k admitting that he needs her and that they're basically in love but they can't seem to find any middle ground other than that, but i think he'd share a few funny stories, or something she said that made him laugh.

his followers would probably try and help him with plans to take her down but i know he'd just be like "no i can't shoot her in the face what the fuck jerrybigcock97 that's too fucking far man". like he would get soooo defensive if any of his followers implied that he should actually hurt her, or implied that they'd find her and hurt her themselves like that's an instant ban

and if any of them said a bad word about her i just know he'd jump right on the defensive. like if they called her weak he'd definitely be like "well she kicked me in the face last week and almost broke my nose so why don't you think before you fucking speak next time" and then he'd be like ah shit. i'm down bad.

also i just know he'd do streams specifically for her. like if she hasn't responded to any of his riddles or games he'd start streaming, and he'd call it the most out of pocket name ever or make some deranged threat just so she'll pay some attention to him.

she's a lurker though 👀 she definitely has notifications on for his streams and comes up with some anon name so she can lurk but he knows it's her 👀 he knows the way she types, the way her mind works when it comes to making up a name to use for the chat system in his streams so he's like 👀 gf watching 👀

[nebulaleaf]

Heh. Giving youuuuu… akira and futaba. for ask game. bc theyr neat.

they ARE neat. tey're probably one of my fave relationships in this game. this is gonna be . real bad because i am not very articulate tonight .sobs cries. this is just me word vomiting about how much i love the sakura family, akira included sorry .

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy? definitely siblings. i won't shoot you dead for shipping them as it's none of my business but age gap, futaba's dependency on akira and other various reasons i see not to ship them aside... i think the main killer for me is just how familial they act... I can't ever imagine futaba having a crush on akira like. that's her older brother that's the guy she uses as a human shield in a walmart. that's the guy who'll let her sit on his shoulders to get a pc part that's too high up. that's the guy she'd sicc on a classmate like a dog!! she's so blase towards him in the romantic aspect save for like... one scene that doesn't even feel that romantic, just weird imo. i'm also down for them just being pals and not sibs but... idk there's just a specific layer to it that i enjoy far more when it's played like that. i really wish i could word it blurgh.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you? I am not immune to siblings alright. i see a character who's a good older brother and has a soft spot for his sister and i weep because i know he'll probably be my fave. kicking rantaro amami down the stairs fuck you man. anyway i kinda feel bad just reducing them to that because there's so much i enjoy in how they interact but i can't put it to words. im on the cusp of futaba's palace in royal though so be on the lookout for posts where i go fucking insane .

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships? honestly i think akira's relationship to futaba means the fucking world to him. obviously he loves all of the thieves, but futaba specifically ... man. i should just say the sakura family as a whole... idk how well akira's home life is or isn't, but the sakura family feels like Just what he needed, y'know? caring but not overprotective, blunt but not cruel... a good mix of giving him the right space but also loving him unflinchingly and hey!! he fucking reciprocates that shit too!!!! and on futaba's end... yeah this is an important relationship to her too. when you first get her and the gang tries to reintroduce her to social situations.............. it's like autism to autism communication. akira is that perfect blend of a safe space, but not too safe where she'll never come out again. he will protect her but push her out to do things when needed and DAMB! she do be needing that. they fill that niche void in the other in ways the other thieves can't. like yeah futaba is the "little sister" of all the pts in a way, but she clearly interacts with akira differently than the rest of them... n yeah you cvould chalk that up to akira being a silent protag whup whup we need her to be clingy so you can have an UwU Gamer GF; but shut up fucka you. It's Different. To Me. and i'm serious like again the scene where all the PTs push her... she ends up reacting well to both situations in the end, but she reacts Best to akira's prompting because he's not too lax like ann and ryuji n' not too forceful like makoto was. zing. zing. i'm gonna shut up on this one now because im embarrassed Ah Hee Hee

favorite interaction they have in canon either the fire crackers scene outside of leblanc or futaba's first beach trip. the way she glances at akira for approval and then he just... gives her that soft smile... it fuckign kills me oh my god. [grabbing you] im so normall about that scene i only watched it thrice. oh my god and then the christmas scene......... that one is a close third

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in so many. all the time constantly. I want them to get into shenanigans. I want Futaba to bring her classmates home to Leblanc and for all of them to laugh about Akira tripping over the mop as he delivers their coffee. I want akira to gently tuck her back into bed when she stays up too late studying or going too hard at school/social interactions in general. i want futaba nag at him to take better care of himself until she has to whip out the pleading puppy-dog eyes to one hit KO his older brother instincts. i want them to steal credit card information together and make sojiro go grey by next year from the sheer stress of having these hyper-intelligent morons in the same room.

[punkscowardschampions]

Lola & Astrid

Lola: [come in to get your tattoo then, which is on the back of her neck/shoulder blade moment which isn't the worst but I think it vibrates on those bones pretty hard, also the embroidery technique/colour will make it worse/more time, overall vibe a sassy, confident bitch but lowkey nervous on this tattoo] Astrid: [I like to think she's already in there and probably has been for hours because whether it's big or small on this occasion they obvs let her stop whenever she wants and for as long as she wants cos they know her so we just chilling with the dog BFF who goes everywhere with her lowkey and both having a drink of water casually so the dog can go up to her like hey gal] Lola: [have loads of pictures of her with dogs and cats, so gonna say we're an animal hoe and gonna be extra over this lil dog then AFTER you've stroked and loved upon it 'Shit, I've not distracted it, have I? I'm so sorry' like when you aren't meant to with blind people service dogs] Astrid: [just straight up talking to this dog like she's a person like are you okay, do you wanna go and the dog's like nah I'm fine by giving a Lola a toy or something like I think we should play with this gal] Lola: [straight up throwing this toy like we aren't in a tattoo shop like please be careful, probably getting told off by a grumpy tattoo dude and just loling like whoops 'cos the kind of carefree hoe we are 'what's your name?' but we are talking to the dog] Astrid: [being like 'did you forget we like rules?' @ the dog as if she caused this trouble herself and full naming her like a cross mum but we not cross we're more playful about it because autistic bants] Lola: ['so distinguished, suits you madam' and shakes her paw, then touching one of Astrid's leg tattoos as is clearly ground level with this dog rn 'that's gorgeous, how many do you have?'] Astrid: [when you an affectionate af person but you don't know her like that so then you can't answer that question and she must think you're being so rude sorry gal, but let's say the tattoo person answers for you cos probably did most of them but not all so gets it wrong so then you have to answer whatever the right number is] Lola: [you really shouldn't grab people but that's the kinda hoe you are so that's the vibe lol, undeterred but do let go of her leg thanks, just talking about ALL the tattoo ideas you have] Astrid: [at least you can likewise go off about that babe because they are literally another thing you collect/comforts you and makes you feel safe so like you always wanna get more, try not to actually talk over her and listen but it's okay if you do, she'll get over it] Lola: [just listening intently anyway and bowing to her superior knowledge on it 'cos you wanna get more even though you have yet to start this one and are gonna be sobbing in a sec lolll, very seriously turning to the dog 'Winnie, will you hold my hand?' then turning back to Astrid and rolling her eyes 'my girlfriend was too shamed to be seen with me'] Astrid: [just going OFF about aftercare too before she's even started this tattoo because as far as you're concerned there is only one right way to do it and everything else is wrong and a huge no, the grumpy tattoo dude from earlier who Lola's gonna end up having is just gonna try and be like nah she's wrong, this this and this is fine but shh sir tbh. The dog just grinning through all this cos she's buzzing about the energy 'She's not ever going to be heavy enough for proprioceptive stimming but it's still calming when she lies with you, she's soft and she smells nice, does that make sense?' her confused face when she then doesn't understand what she means about her girlfriend not wanting to be here though like um why] Lola: [just ignoring the man like the true lesbian you are, be careful girl, nodding 'total sense, Miss Winifred is a vibe' and giving her an approving sniff like yes 'it smells like bleach in here' probably a good thing babe but we're not happy lol 'ugh, 'cos she's so tough and I'm going to embarrass her' shakes her head like oh girlfriends] Astrid: [repeating back to Winnie that she's a vibe because you like the sound of that thank you but whatever you're gonna say about how it smells in here is interrupted by grumpy tattoo dude complaining that it's because Astrid always has to OTT clean up the station etc and blah before they start, like don't out her like that sir and don't be a dick so we're not happy about his vibe rn] Lola: ['you should be happy she's doing the hard work for you' even though we were the one complaining about the smell, we're not about it] Astrid: ['he's not a happy person' hahaha suck it sir] Lola: ['that's so sad, what happened?' oh gal] Astrid: [just telling her this dude's life story like he's not right there because we don't understand sarcasm bye] Lola: [when you weren't even being sarcastic but you were not expecting her to reply and you know he's not gonna be thrilled so you put your finger to your lips like shh but smiling at her so she knows you aren't being a dick like stfu] Astrid: [being like oh do you want some quiet, like offering to get them to turn down the music they always blast in tattoo places] Lola: ['can we change the station?' like this rock shit is not a #vibe honey and getting out your phone and aux cord from your bag] Astrid: [just like 'it's not a vibe [name of your tattoo gal] can we change it to a vibe?' because we're saying vibe now and obvs this woman will cos she's a good egg] Lola: [putting on your femme gay girl bubblegum pop playlist like every other person in here/grumpy tattoo man is going to be taking the piss but we aren't aware 'cos we're that bitch and just dancing around like it's the clerb] Astrid: [Astrid and Winnie are vibing, picking this dog up like do you wanna dance lil queen as if we're not in the middle of a tattoo sesh] Lola: [hyping them up in a very yasss queen manner and then getting interrupted by this dude being like are you done pissing about and just twerking at him like mwah 😘 as you climb your ass up onto this bench, then being like 'WINNIE, I NEED YOU' very dramatically with grabby hands and all, this man like oh my god] Astrid: [we're loling at her antics and then putting Winnie on her lap because this angel will look after you gal so we can finally get some more of our own tattoo done] Lola: [good incentive not to drop this dog or shriek in her ears gal, 'cos gonna be so OTT about this pain obvs, all of this painting a picture as why your butch tatted gf did not wanna be here, just 🥺🥺🥺 at Astrid 'does it hurt you?' 'cos gf popping off like it doesn't which is a lie like when people say childbirth doesn't like admit it even if you can hack it] Astrid: ['not as much as other things' because we matter of fact about it instead of being like her girlfriend and pretending nothing is happening here] Lola: [we aren't really listening anyway just talking to talk here 'beauty is pain'] Astrid: [just repeating that like hmmm idk ' you're saying you feel more beautiful now, they'll want to put that on the signs outside'] Lola: ['They've got better promo' and giving Astrid's tattooist a look, 'cos the insecurity jumped out when pain] Astrid: [just going off about how much you like it here and you've told everyone about it like lol peeps have said they should pay me] Lola: ['yours are so cool' and asking her why she got that one and when etc etc] Astrid: [telling her everything even if like some of this shit is personal like tell me those roses aren't because of Ro you can't] Lola: [when you're an oversharer so you are 1. not phased by this 2. can say how this is for your abuela who's dying] Astrid: [genuinely is upset about this and asking loads of questions about her like obvs how old is she but also about her as a person and what she likes and how she was living before this] Lola: [we was already crying from the pain so you know, just carry on lmao, telling her that you live with her, that she's your only family and she's a bomb cook and she loves you even though you're gay and you go to bingo together on Thursdays] Astrid: [when you're just like are you gonna live with your girlfriend and cook together and go to bingo with her] Lola: ['I don't know' big sigh 'Do you live with your dad?'] Astrid: [hardcore like BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO because we're so upset about this like we can't answer your question until we get one that's okay here] Lola: [reaching over like hey it's okay 'I'll work it out'] Astrid: [just like oh yeah I do live with my dad btw after ages has passed and she's probably forgot she even asked but we needed a sec there] Lola: ['what's he like?'] Astrid: ['he's weird but not like I'm weird, just not how everyone says a dad should be-' trying to find a way to word wtf Drew is like lol 'he doesn't like rules or keeping things clean oh and he's a really shit driver who plays music too loud and he dresses too young'] Lola: ['sounds like every dude I've ever met' lols, wiping her tears 'has he always been like that or is it a midlife crisis moment?'] Astrid: [lols too because oh Drew you hot mess 'he fell out of his pram and wasn't claimed for 7 days'] Lola: [nods solemnly 'mine too'] Astrid: ['but he makes sure my food doesn't touch and never makes me eat anything I know will be fucking gross and he took me to go get Winnie' like but I do love him] Lola: [gives Winnie love and smiles 'not all bad then' pauses 'mine used to take me to ballet, and never get bored of me showing him my routines'] Astrid: [just going off about this Barbie ballet movie called Barbie and the pink shoes like have you seen it because I figure why not have dolls as a special interest, thanks Ro, though she'd fuck with Bratz and Monster High more] Lola: [talking about the red shoes 'cos assumedly what it is based on and saying you'll look up the Barbie version online 'when Ren is at work'] Astrid: [just chatting about it to the point that she doesn't even need to see it cos you've told her everything but letting her know that Barbie isn't your fave and making sure she knows what you fuck with more like this is vital info okay] Lola: ['Like Yasmin is technically the Hispanic queen like me but I do be looking more Jade and she fucks with cats so ME' 'cos definitely a girl who was into dolls and the bratz are making a resurgence in the culture anyway huns] Astrid: [we're living a life where we only accept the OG's so of course she gotta be that blonde hun who is described as wide-eyed and bubbly and loves her friends more than anything in the world so pop off but we not fucking with soccer and we gotta let Lola know] Lola: ['I see it' like just being like you're an angel there nbd] Astrid: [being like I do support cheese pizza ONLY but thai curry wtf] Lola: [loling like 'food isn't food unless it has at least two carbs and all the cheese you can throw at it'] Astrid: [just listing off everything Jade likes in the known world like do you like these things or no] Lola: [replying like this is a vogue 73 questions I bet tattoo dude is delighted lol] Astrid: [we're having fun here sir excuse you] Lola: ['do you have a Jade in your group already?'] Astrid: [The calming force that she is, Winnie is the group's Yasmin, she can handle a sob story, as you've seen so that's wrong' looks at her like soz gal I know you're offended 'my other best friend is most like Sasha, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that when she isn't black though'] Lola: [looks around at how white everyone here deffo is like I won't tell on you, claps her hands like yay 'we can be friends then'] Astrid: [when you're clearly buzzing about this, giving her your phone like this is my number take it thank you] Lola: [saves it as angel, oh that won't cause any drama with your gf no no lol, taking the tattoo dudes biro or whatever and being like hold out your hand? but thankfully NOT just doing it 'cos she may not vibe gal] Astrid: [at first is like ?? because hasn't connected the dots of what she wants her to do and why but then is like oh okay and does] Lola: [being like to the tattoo lady 'now make it permanent' loling like hohoho] Astrid: [loling 'when I know you better' like we considering this] Lola: [so flattered like omg me and blowing kisses] Astrid: [gotta get some more water cos we recognising that we're getting a bit too buzzing rn so obvs asking her if she wants some] Lola: [just like lifesaver 'cos we been crying so hard over here lol] Astrid: [gotta get some for Winnie too even if she don't want because that's a routine hun] Lola: [live your best life babe you deserve it] Astrid: [let's say her tattoo is then finally done and she abruptly leaves like it was nice to meet you I gotta go now bye because it kills me how they all did that on that show every time] Lola: [the only time you've been shooketh 'cos you'd be a hang around saying bye for ages bitch] Lola: WHERE DID YOU GO?! Astrid: hOmE Astrid: is YOuR tattOO fiNishED? Lola: [sends a progress picture she's made that man take lol] Astrid: 25-30 miNS leFT Lola: yeah? Lola: 🙌 I am about to PEE my pants Astrid: iT'LL bE lONgEr wiTH BreAks but YOu Wont bE alloWED bacK iF yOu dONt TakE oNE foR THaT Lola: 😄 I did a little but we've had no leaks Lola: got my big girl panties on Astrid: 👙 is A GooD iDeA tOooooOOOOO Lola: so NOT letting him do my underboob though Astrid: nO ⛔ no ⛔ Lola: the chick you were with seemed kinda cool though Lola: not gonna write off the whole shop Astrid: 🌟 ✨ sHE MAkEs me fEEL coMFoRTaBLe 🌟 ✨ Astrid: thE reVIeW Astrid: & thE VIBE Lola: love that Lola: don't know how he can do such colourful work and be so sad ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: van GOGH? Astrid: 🌻🌻🌻🌻👂💛💛 Lola: 🤯🤯🤯 Astrid: Do thEy ShARE a SOUL doEs thAT maKE senSE? Astrid: hMMMM Lola: reincarnation baby Astrid: dO you BEliEVE in it? Astrid: a BIG quESTion Lola: I think it's technically a ❌❌❌ Lola: but I think it's cool Lola: like past lives, all the AMAZING people in history you could've been Astrid: I DonT unDERstAnd wHY is iT ❌❌❌ if YoU liKE iT? Lola: Jesus and Abuela 💘 Lola: 💀 is very important to us Astrid: oHhhhhhhH Astrid: hEAvEn ☁👼☁ Astrid: mY muM taUGHt mE about THat Lola: 🧹🌻🦋🌞🍞 Lola: we believe souls come back, but not as other people, always themselves, even if they take a different form Lola: and they come back all the time, though Jesus hasn't come back YET Astrid: 👻👻👻👻 Lola: I can do an offering for your mum if you like Astrid: shE woULdNT coMe bACK for 🍞 Astrid: wHaT ElSe can THey be? Lola: you can put all the person's favourite things on their altar, you can skip the bread Astrid: 🕯🌹🕯🩺🕯🥀🕯🦴 Lola: wouldn't look out of place Astrid: sHe LiKEd DollS tooOOOO but thERe's No emoJi?? Lola: that's so RUDE Lola: did she get you into dolls, what was the first one you got? Astrid: 🧚🏻 thoUGH & 🔮 & 🧙🏼 Astrid: [sends her a picture of some creepy doll because of course she still has it and cue a huge ramble about everything possible about this doll like soz gal you didn't ask for that level of detail] Lola: looks like la catrina's 👶 Lola: I like it Lola: what doll would your mum be? Astrid: [when you disappear forever lowkey to do all the research you can about that just falling down a rabbit hole without saying bye] Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: loVE that Lola: right?! Lola: we STAN an inclusive queen Astrid: caNT waIT tO TeLl mY otHER bFf she is GOiNg to bE so ExCitEd Lola: do you bake? I will send you a recipe for some sugar 💀 cookies Lola: i always loved decorating them Lola: and eating them, duh 😋 Astrid: I dOnT know hOw TO dO that Astrid: ❌❌❌ Lola: I can make them, if you wanna meet up again Lola: or come teach you, that would be fun Astrid: here? Lola: if you want Lola: you could come to mine but you'd have to meet abuela and that might be a LOT ??? Astrid: iTs nOT a ⛔ no if weRe frIeNds Astrid: i THinK yoU couLD bE heRE Lola: I'm a good guy, I promise Lola: I'll be super polite and say please and thank you and take my shoes off Astrid: buT 🍭 🍬 🧁  🍫 🍩 🍪 🍨  wILl maKE mY mum 😢 oR 😡 iF sHE is a 👻 Astrid: 🤫 Lola: it's all about celebrating life anyways Lola: what's better than tasty food Lola: my mother was the same though Lola: but abuela loved food because it made people 😄🥰 she didn't care if it made you fat too Lola: plenty of time to be 💀🦴s Astrid: hMMMmmm Astrid: 👌 Astrid: I wAnt to BE 😄🥰 Lola: maybe your friend would like some too Lola: not Miss Winnie though, too much sugar for 🐶 Astrid: IlL exPLain Astrid: sheS vERY 🤓 Astrid: thATs sMArt noT an INsult Lola: I could tell Lola: I very much enjoyed meeting her Astrid: & mE? Lola: OF COURSE you, gurl Lola: you were so nice and helpful Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Astrid: thANKs Lola: you're welcome ❣️ Lola: are you from here, I like your name, it's unusual Astrid: I dOnT liKE to bE reFErRed tO bY it Astrid: it maKEs mE FeeL liKe PeOPLe ARe 😤 😠 😡 Lola: oh no, I'm sorry Lola: is there anything you would like me to call you instead? Astrid: ...... Astrid: I doNt KnOw Lola: no probs Lola: don't need to call you anything we'll manage just fine without 🙃 Astrid: iS thAt aN oKaY anSWer? Lola: of course it is! Lola: it wouldn't be okay for me to call you a name you didn't like, that's just rude Lola: my gf HATES the name she got as a 👶 so she changed it Astrid: liKe @ scHoOL Astrid: I goT caLLed loAds of namES thERE Astrid: 👿 👹 👺 🤡 💩 👻 💀 ☠️ 👽 👾 🤖 🎃 Lola: 😢👎 Lola: school SUCKED Lola: you're cool Astrid: thEy jUsT doNt unDERsTand mY 🧠 Astrid: mE eiTHeR mE eiTHeR Lola: who does Lola: still don't have to be a 🍆 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: that's what I'm talking about Astrid: yOu aRe GoiNg To LikE mY aUntY 🧠 ❤ 👀 Astrid: bUt U CaNt bRInG hEr HeRE foR 💀🍪 Lola: why not? Astrid: mY DaD & hER ❌❌❌ Lola: family drama Lola: say no more Lola: abuela only talks about my mother when she wants to cuss her out, and that's her daughter so 🤷 Astrid: hEs BaD buT nOT to ME? I doNt unDERstAnd hoW thAT iS suPposED to maKE seNse Lola: you're special to him Astrid: BuT whY aREnt my SiSTeRs sPEcial toOOOo? Astrid: beCausE theIR muMs aRE dIFFeRenT or Astrid: my BrOThEr haS anOTher DiffErent mUm agaIN Astrid: itS conFUsinG Lola: people are a lot of different things all at once, I think Lola: they don't all fit together right, it is confusing Astrid: wHEn yoU DiE aRE yOU NoOOO thiNGs Or moRE thinGS? Lola: Hmm Lola: I think more Lola: everything, and then the missing pieces make it all make sense Astrid: maybe they ARe tOOOoo sPEciAl then, THaT sisTER & ThOse mums dAD canT DeaL Astrid: hmmM Lola: could be Lola: being dead is meant to be easier than being alive, but it isn't perfect Astrid: & mY OthEr SisTER diDnt diE whEn sHe NeaRLY diD sO mAYBe heS coNFuSed AbOUT THat Lola: could you ask him? Lola: or would he be 😢 or 😡? Astrid: heS not my TaLking To pErsoN heS mY DoinG peRsOn Lola: that's important too Lola: sometimes it's actually better not having the answers Astrid: I sHOULDvE saID that @ scHOol Astrid: BettER not HAVinG thE anSWERS sORRy Lola: 😅 Lola: if ONLY Lola: I wouldn't say ANYTHING at school Astrid: I diDnT taLk unTiL aFter my mUm dIeD Astrid: moSTlY Lola: at all? Astrid: ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: did you talk to your dad? Astrid: somE WoRdS Lola: the rest you just got what you needed in other ways Lola: that's cool Astrid: i THiNk it waS BaD oF mE Astrid: maYbe Astrid: .... Lola: but was it bad for you Lola: that's the important thing Lola: its frustrating when people don't understand you, but people get frustrated when they don't understand, even though they might not still when you tell them with words Astrid: iS thAT wHy yOU didNT talK @ sChooL? Lola: i took up too much space just being there Lola: without taking up the 💬 too Astrid: tOo muCh Space Astrid: hmmM Lola: that's what they thought Lola: basically Astrid: pEoPLe DoNt unDErstaND yOu Astrid: how mUch spaCE yoU neEd Lola: they don't like it ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: i'm not trying to take other people's space though Astrid: tOO muCH iS ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Astrid: toOOOo mUch AnyTHiNG Lola: it is? Astrid: ItS 😢 or 😡 Astrid: itS beInG weIRd Lola: there's no such thing as too much 🐶😸 though Astrid: NeVEr!! Lola: exactly Lola: don't think there's any rules that you can stick to everything Lola: always exceptions Astrid: I wriTE liKe thIs beCauSe thOse rULes are Boring Astrid: loAdS of RulEs doNt maKe sEnSe Lola: I like how you write Lola: it's more interesting to read Astrid: yOu cAn Do iT toO if You waNT Lola: really? Lola: thanks, I'll try it out 😄 Lola: ITs actUallLY REAlLY hARd tO Be TOtallY raNDoM Lola: oTHER New RuLES poP UP in YOuR hEaD Astrid: ItS a VIBE Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: tOTAlLy Lola: LikE THOse nEwSPApEr RAnsOM notEs Lola: aEStheTIc Astrid: ??? Lola: you know in films, when a killer or a kidnapper sends the person a note, they cut up bits of newspapers and magazines so the note is all different fonts and sizes and stuff Lola: [examples Lola: I liKE ThAT LOooooooOOoOKk Astrid: OhHH WoW Astrid: cAn I sEnD YoU onE? Lola: THaTs whaT IT RemINDS mE OF Lola: UM yeS Astrid: TheY dO it So NoBoDy knowS itS from THem YeaH? Astrid: hoW wiLL you Know ItS from mE? Lola: YEah Lola: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't 😱 Lola: I nEVEr GeT 💌 Astrid: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't scared Astrid: do the outside of it normal, like this Lola: [her address] there you go Lola: a stamp and it'll be perfect Astrid: ThiS is ReAllY whERe U Live? Astrid: I knoW whEre tHiS is Lola: you do? Astrid: yEAH Astrid: itS By a SHop I lIkE Lola: maybe you could show me 🙃 Astrid: I JuST geT 🍓 thEn I LeAVe Astrid: thEY haVe to Be from ThEre Astrid: a RuLe Lola: nOW i waNt TO tRy SomE Astrid: diD yoUr GirLfrIEnD liKE youR TaTTOo? Astrid: I caNt STop THinkiNG aBoUT iT Lola: She lIKEs 🖤 🤍 bUT I seNT hEr ThE piC & She SAid wAs cUUUUUuUuUUuUuTeeeeeeE Astrid: iS shE gONna coMe wiTh yOU neXT timE? Lola: mAYb ❓🤔 Astrid: tHats noT 🖤 🤍 Astrid: sHe shOUld saY yeAH oR NO Lola: TrUuUuuUuUUUUUUUu Lola: I'll tell her Astrid: Do YoU lIkE haVinG a girlFRieND? Lola: 🤗 & 😘 R gOoOOoddD Astrid: ❓🤔 Lola: you like hugs and kisses? Astrid: PlaTOnic is DiFFeRent Astrid: i LikE theM thOUgh Lola: yeah Lola: with a girlfriend, you just get them all the time Astrid: ? ShE dOeSnt asK you ? Lola: she doesn't need to Lola: if I said stop she would Lola: it's just nice having a person around, is what I meant 🙃 Astrid: 👌 thAT maKEs SeNse Lola: do you like 🧑 or 👩 or none or both Astrid: 👩 👩🏻 👩🏽 👩🏾 👩🏿 Lola: hi-5 Lola: me too 😄 Astrid: but i DoNt have a GIRLfrieNd Lola: would you like one? Lola: we could go out 💃💃 Astrid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid: yeAh Astrid: yOuRe a GooD 💃 Lola: YOU TOO ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: I KNOW A BAR THAT WOULD LET WINNIE IN Astrid: yOU dO????????? Lola: i KNow tHe OWneR Lola: heS SO coOL Lola: and he has his own dog Finola who sings with him Astrid: I diDNT knOw dOGs coULd sING Astrid: WiNNie coULd hAVE a SeCRET talENt Lola: they do somewhere over the 🌈 it's very good Astrid: wheN cAN we Go? Lola: 😄 When are you free? this weekend? Astrid: FriDAY Lola: 👏 let's DO IT Astrid: 🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙 🕚 🕛 🕜 🕝 🕞 🕟 🕠 🕡 🕢 🕣 🕤 🕥 🕦 🕧 Astrid: ? Lola: 🤔 8? Astrid: To bE @ yOUr hOUse oR ThEre? Lola: we could get 🍓s first and eat them in the park Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 Lola: 🙌 IT'LL BE FUN Astrid: WeRe bOTh eXciTed Astrid: 😆 Lola: 💃💃💃 Lola: have to plan my outfit Astrid: I liKeD uR ouTfit yOu werE weaRing Lola: you're so 🍧 🍨 🍦 🥧 🧁 🍰 🎂 🍮 🍭 🍬 🍫 🍿 🍩 🍪 thank you 😚 Lola: you looked amazing Astrid: I nEEd to dyE mY haiR a new ColOur Lola: have you done every colour??? Astrid: ⛔❌ 🖤 🤎 Lola: boring in comparison to the rest of the 🌈 Astrid: & hARd to GEt Out ❤️ & 💜 sTAY TooOO bUT thEY caN bE maDE inTo a PaTTeRN sO its Not 😢 oR 😠 Lola: 🦜 Astrid: BiRdS aRE weiRD Astrid: mY AunTy haS 🐓 & I ONLy liKE thEm WhEn TheYrE 🐤 🐣 🐥 Lola: DOES SHE HAVE ANY BABIES RIGHT NOW Astrid: yEaH Astrid: thEyre sOFt Lola: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that's so cuteee Astrid: doNt be sad shE wonT eaT thEM Lola: but i don't have any🐤 🐣 🐥 Astrid: IlL aSk heR iF you CAn Lola: our apartment is tiny Lola: wouldn't be fair for the poor chickie Astrid: YoU cOuLd VisIt THem Lola: I'll have to buy some 🌽 too Astrid: TheYll be YouR FRIEnds ToooOOOOo Astrid: loVe ThAT Lola: new friends are always welcome Lola: especially fluffy ones Astrid: WiNNie aGReeS Astrid: & saYs dOnT foRGet sheS the FLUFFiest Astrid: she gETs JeaLOUs Lola: 🤭 Lola: of course Lola: she's a babe Astrid: evERYoNe saYs I was wHEn mY brOTHer waS a 👶 bUT i Dont remeMBEr thaT Lola: aw, you helped out? Lola: that's so cute Astrid: 👶 NeED lOAds of HeLp Astrid: haVE yOu EVer heLd onE? TheY caNt suPPOrt their Own HeaDs Astrid: itS wilD Lola: I've actually never held a baby Lola: or really met one, which is weird, I'd never thought about that Astrid: !!!!!!!! Astrid: My FamILY iS SoooOOOOO BiG Astrid: 👶👶🏻👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾 Lola: do you like it? what's good and what's bad? Astrid: YoU aRenT evER aLOne Astrid: thatS gOod OR Bad Astrid: Good & BAD Lola: I can picture that Astrid: bUT itS FUn & LOud Astrid: you LiKe hugS so Youd likE it Lola: yeah Lola: I think so Lola: abuela was from a big family Lola: but it's just us here Astrid: WhERe aRE TheY aLL? Lola: her family? Lola: mostly dead Lola: the ones she would've known, sisters, brothers Lola: their kids are probably still in Mexico but she doesn't know any of them properly Astrid: Im SoRrY Lola: you don't have to be sorry Astrid: ItS saD fOR hER Astrid: I mEAn Lola: yeah Lola: she left a lot behind Lola: but she's been happy here Astrid: & YoURE haPPy? Lola: mostly and most days Lola: not 🖤 & 🤍 Astrid: nOT 🖤 & 🤍 Lola: nothing is ever perfect, is it Astrid: mAyBe WinniE is Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: I am willing to believe that and let her have it too 💝🐶 Astrid: [a happy picture of this dog like thank you I'm buzzing] Lola: an angel Lola: or princess, I should say Astrid: [a picture of this dog with some kind of tiara moment on because of course we can] Lola: 🙇 Lola: I'll find mine when I get home Astrid: YoU hAve One? Lola: duh gurl Lola: it's a vibe Lola: 👑🌈💃😘 Astrid: iT is A Vibe Lola: you know a vibe when you 👀 one Lola: i CaN TeLL Astrid: I haVE tO gO Astrid: doNT fORget FriDAY Astrid: @ 8 Astrid: 🍓!! Lola: Oh, okay Lola: Looking forward to it ✨

[luminiya]

be more chill/tales of zestiria au stuff !!

jeremy: human, can see seraphim/was raised by seraphim (yup ripping off sorey rip), will follow michael to the ends of the earth, kinda oblivious and super curious about everything, has known michael for 12 years, honestly just really fucking excited to leave the village (and find that cute girl he likes to look for when he sneaks out w michael), tries really hard to help michael prepare medicines and stuff but honestly he's a bit too clumsy, apologizes a lot, easily manipulated ughhghghhh my poor baby, writes novels about the apocalypse, it started as a small fascination with fiction and dystopian futures because his life was so sheltered and he was interested in history which mentioned "great evil" and "calamity" and he started writing because michael said one day "you have so many ideas about this stuff.. you should try writing it down! i bet a book like that would be pretty popular", bisexual bean, very nervous about being a shepherd and tried to pass it off onto rich at one point shhfhsh

michael: fire seraph, super patient w jeremy, sweet innocent baby, would follow jeremy into the depths of hell, studies herbs and medicines (i had to), sneaks out of the village sometimes to gather herbs, always brings jeremy.. he gave up trying to leave him behind to protect him from a lecture from his pants hating father, encourages jeremy to do what he loves, just a big team mom tbh he wants his friends to be okay (but mostly jeremy *cough*), super ovERPROTECTIVE !!! , always the first one to offer to armatize w jeremy oops, he just likes the comfort of being with his best friend and he wants to help him as much as he can

squip: probably the lord of calamity lbr, but also i wanna make him a party member briefly, a Big Traitor Character, just a shitty bad manipulative dude, based on musical squip not book squip, definitely tries to steer jeremy towards corruption like he wants no part of the shepherd to exist, manipulates rich, m e a n, PROBABLY TRIES TO KILL MICHAEL BUT SUBTLY HFJSBD

christine: human, she has to be human, cute girl jeremy saw sometimes when he snuck out w michael when they were young, an actual precious angel, kinda overdramatic, definitely an actress or smth.. like a performer maybe? something in the arts, can't see seraphim but when she learns about them she's always super courteous of michael because she can Feel the Overprotective Vibes, deserved better than this, (when she finally sees a seraph for the first time she starts crying because holy heck they're real and she can finally see then which means there's hope for other people to see them as well), big theatrical monologues, will punch you if you harm her friends, acearo (fight me)

rich: human (or fire seraph because rich set a fire i hate myself snjdhsbd), can see seraphim possibly, Traitor™ but not even on purpose, accidentally was helping the bad guy, rly likes the squip and thinks he's a cool dude, is fucking shocked when he finds out the squip was using him to further his Evil Plans, "bro.. i thought we were friends, bro", short (of course), lisp, muSCLES

jake: probably water seraph... b-because he's cool.. (yikes), a gentle boy, a lot of seraphim thinks he's stuck up and annoying but he just wants everyone to be happy, kinda follows christine around to make sure no one tries to hurt her and gets very >:( about christine and jeremy becoming friends, briefly had a crush on christine but respects that she's acearo and then he meets rich and is like O: this human is loud and strange and i love him, hoNESTLY I BET HE AND MICHAEL GET UPSET AND RANT TO EACH OTHER ABOUT THE SQUIP TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THEIR PALS OMG, a good friend

jenna: wind seraph.. because i said so, v skeptical about everyone and doesn't really wanna help but she wants the gossip for the tabloid she writes, yes she writes tons of seraph gossip holy shit, everyone is kinda like "oh yeah.. idk those articles are trashy" but they fuckin binge read it they can't lie, TOTALLY THE Information GIRL SHE 100% FINDS OUT EVERYTHING THE TEAM NEEDS, good at finding deals, doesn't want to armatize with anyone because she feels like a bother (but she says it's because she doesn't like feeling that close to someone), secretly afraid she's weighing everyone down, no bby pls you're an angel

brooke: earth seraph, fight me on this, a sweet nervous baby who loves her girlfriend, really likes going shopping w jeremy (and by that i mean taking jeremy around all the shops w her asking if he thinks chloe would like a certain top or piece of jewelry), squip has made her cry at least 6 times, chloe has threatened the squip's life 5/6 of those times, she's not weak though don't even she's an emotional angel but she'll still fuck you up and look cute doing it, a good friend who worries about her human pals a lot, "if you guys need to rest we can stop for the night. it's normal for humans to get worn out more quickly."

chloe: fire seraph probably, i know ur not supposed to have more than one of a certain seraph type but fuck u i'll do what i want, sass queen, has a kinda complex past relationship with jake but they put it aside and she's dating brooke now, Will Protect Brooke With Her Life, if you bully her earth gf she will actively kick your ass, cooks really well !!, the squip is Dead to Her, gets a lil jealous if brooke armatizes with anyone because she can't armatize with her and :( , has a very bad temper but it's p useful in battle because she will tear straight through enemies no fucks given, likes to gossip and loves telling stories to her pals

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Airport selfie] Rio: That's the 2nd time I've dealt with your 'rents now, you so owe me Buster: How do you look that good right now Buster: I reckon you owe me for that glow, babe Buster: But yeah...name your terms Rio: 😊 Rio: Still worth it, even if we didn't get to finish properly 😒 Rio: I'll think on it, nothing that inspiring in duty free, like Buster: I should've pulled a sickie and come with you Buster: They can't be in both houses at once, like Rio: That'd be some intense hellicopter parenting that I don't think they're about Rio: Nance does not make the most of the freedom she has, like Buster: I'd rather they buy me a helicopter Buster: She might now that she has a girlfriend, I don't know and don't wanna Buster: If she could hang we'd be able to co-ordinate the parties 😒 Rio: Keep dreaming big, babe 😂 Rio: Ew, fair point Rio: sure she still spends most of her time at nan and grandads Rio: effort to feed yourself and be all alone in that big gaff Buster: It ain't Buster: She's got skills and a phone if she's too lazy to use 'em Buster: Such a waste Rio: Yeah but you know Rio: company's company Rio: but now she's got her gf maybe she'll change her mind, like you said Rio: gotta remember her name Buster: Grandad's a top bloke but come on 😂 Buster: Whatever Buster: Enough about my sister Rio: Rude Rio: What do you wanna talk about then? Buster: You Rio: My favourite subject, 'course 😏 Buster: When can you come back? Rio: Gotta get the rota then I'll let you know Rio: Can you make sure your parents are like, really fucking busy tho Rio: can't deal with an interruption again Buster: They were meant to be this weekend, but yeah, honestly if another meeting gets cancelled I'll make sure they don't get the memo Buster: I need you all to myself Buster: All weekend Rio: Forreal 😂 Rio: Sabotage that schedule Rio: don't they know we need every second we can grab, like Rio: not got time for a cuppa and a catch up, please Buster: I'll change the locks if I have to Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you Rio: What a cockblock of a weekend, like old times Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't miss that Rio: Only so long before exciting turns into frustrating, facts Buster: I'm not a doctor, like but I reckon there's only so long before you risk getting carpal tunnel Rio: 😂 Rio: Still time if you fancy it Rio: so knowledgable Buster: At least I can say it's all those essays I've done Buster: Not a decent excuse when you're blind with hairy palms Rio: You're so silly Buster: Tell it to the lads so they'll find somewhere else to hang Buster: I'm about to start wearing a purity ring so they stop throwing girls at me Rio: Reformed character, like Buster: I mean, I'm still 😈 just it's all for you Rio: Shame you can't hit 'em with that Rio: bigger laugh than the 💍 Buster: Don't Rio: Obviously not Rio: They aren't that bright, won't they buy a fucking Canadian girlfriend or whatever? Buster: Can't we just be real everyone Buster: with* Buster: Would it really be so fucking bad if they all knew? Rio: You're ready to find out? Buster: It's not like we're committing a crime Rio: Yeah but Rio: people are still going to think it's weird Rio: at best Buster: I don't care what anyone thinks Rio: Alright Rio: then tell all your friends rn Rio: you gotta live with it, like Buster: So what, you're daring me now? Buster: This isn't a game, Rio Buster: Even if you're playing one Rio: I ain't, I'm trying to show you what a bad idea it is Buster: Are you in this or not? Buster: 'Cause it sounds like you're playing for time like you don't reckon we can keep this up Rio: Of course I am, wouldn't have done it if I weren't Rio: but we can't just out it, like Rio: if you think it's hassle now, that'll be more, surely Buster: Why would it? We wouldn't have to sneak around anymore if everyone knows Rio: We would if the fam nopes on it that hard Rio: they might Buster: They could try Buster: Nobody can tell us what to do Rio: Babe, we'd still only be able to see each other at weekends, my odd weekdays off Rio: that's the main problem, still Buster: I know, alright Buster: I know Rio: that don't mean we can't make it work Buster: Until some other lad comes along who you can see when you want Buster: And isn't your fucking cousin, like Rio: You really reckon? Buster: Like you said, this is hassle, yeah? Rio: Fuck off Rio: Don't twist my words Buster: I'm asking, genuinely Buster: Do you still wanna do this or not? Rio: 'Course I fucking do Rio: I love you Rio: what you saying, you're over it? Buster: No Buster: I couldn't ever be over you Rio: Then don't be chatting that shit Buster: I'm just saying Buster: School's only just started basically Rio: I'd rather this than stop Rio: no, I can't stop Rio: right? that ain't changed Buster: Not for me Buster: I want you more if anything Buster: That's the fucking problem Rio: I know Rio: we just gotta do what we gotta do still Rio: there ain't an alternative that's just how it is Buster: Before you ever touched me I could handle just looking at you, I reckoned, for as long as, and then when you did I was like I've got this out of my system now, yeah? And any time I got to be with you after was a bonus Buster: But now Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much the plan Rio: but that ain't how it is, it ain't going away Rio: wanting you, needing you Buster: Yeah Buster: I love you so much Rio: Oh, Buster Rio: I love you too Buster: Hold onto it, okay? Rio: Promise Buster: Good Rio: it's shit now but it's gonna be so good you can't even imagine, okay? Buster: I know Buster: I've got plans, babe Buster: Just give me time Rio: I am Buster: You've got yours too Buster: So if we both stay busy Rio: Only way is up Rio: Serious, I wouldn't be steaking anything on you if I didn't think you were worth it, we was Rio: that ain't me, I don't do that Buster: Likewise Buster: I've broken enough of my rules for you to get that you're different Rio: Duh Rio: taking the bit slightly too far at this point otherwise Buster: So get on the plane and do what you gotta do, babe Buster: Including sending me that rota when you have it Rio: 👍 Rio: That's more like the daddy I know and love 😘 Buster: 👑 Rio: You know it Buster: We both do Rio: You're the best Rio: I ain't letting someone else have you Buster: Well good 'cause no other cunt is gonna take you from me either Rio: Nope Rio: All yours Buster: Say it again Rio: I'm yours Buster: Baby Rio: Mm? Buster: I just wanted to call you baby Rio: 😋 Carry on Rio: that's my favourite Buster: You're my favourite Buster: I'm so glad you're mine Rio: I still can't believe it, I swear Rio: ridiculous Buster: I know Buster: It's a headfuck Rio: Good one though Buster: 'Course Rio: Right answer boy 😉 Buster: Not just a pretty face, like Buster: I get A's 'cause I've got the answers Rio: Sure 🤓 Buster: I know exactly what you wanna hear, baby Rio: 😩 Rio: Then tell me Buster: Let me show you something first Buster: [Sends pics] Rio: Fuck Rio: You know I wanna turn around already and then you hit me with that Buster: I just want you to see what's waiting for you Buster: Come back now Rio: How does it feel to be so hot that you got me wanting to move my whole life out to be near you, like Rio: I can't handle it, ugh Buster: You can ask yourself that question any time, babe Buster: But first retrace your steps Buster: I'll buy you a new flight Rio: You really let me get to Heathrow before asking? Rio: Boy Buster: I was trying to behave Buster: Let you do your thing Rio: Still 😈 for me, remember? Buster: Yeah Rio: How bad do you want me back? Buster: It ain't want Buster: I need you back so bad Rio: Fuck it Rio: Give you a chance to finish what you started forreal Rio: not just leave me here turned on Buster: I'll come pick you up Rio: Okay Rio: Hurry, like Buster: Don't worry I'm getting a cab so you can have my full attention Rio: 😻 Rio: Good Rio: don't need to cause an accident, like Buster: If the driver can't keep his eyes on the road it ain't my fault Rio: You don't know Rio: might like you, babe Buster: If he could be looking at you and he's gone for me he shouldn't be driving Buster: Needs his eyes checked obviously Rio: You're such a charmer Rio: but actually, no sarcasm Buster: You're so beautiful Buster: Actually Rio: Stop Rio: Gonna get emotional Buster: You should hear it more Rio: It's not the word that comes to mind for most Buster: Forget them then Buster: Their loss, babe Buster: 'Cause you are Rio: I don't care Buster: I care so much Buster: About you Rio: I'm not going to question it 'cos I'm so glad you do Rio: and me too Buster: The cab's moving for once so I shouldn't be long Rio: 🙌 Buster: Entertain yourself as best you can, like Rio: Dirty boy Buster: 😏 Rio: You got me like that but departures lounge don't need to know it Buster: True you don't need a ban Buster: At least not from the closest one Rio: you reckon they'd put me on the no fly list? bit harsh Rio: not even a protest never mind act of terrorism Buster: 😂 Rio: best come bail me out Rio: your fault, only fair Buster: And no fun if they don't get the cuffs out, yeah? Rio: 'course 😻 Rio: but airport police have guns and that's a step too far in kinkiness for me, ngl Buster: Noted Buster: This ain't an episode of the Sopranos Rio: That's a whole mood aesthetically but I don't need to end up whacked, tah Buster: No argument from me Rio: 😂 Encouraging! Buster: What are you gonna do for real then? Rio: Hmm Rio: Any suggestions? Buster: Eat something Buster: You're gonna need all your energy Rio: Good idea Rio: plus you've done your gentlemanly thing for the day, no need to buy me dinner too Buster: Probably check out the duty free for real, can't be a total disappointment Buster: Babe you know I'll feed you whenever and whatever you want. Not a kink just love Rio: Yeah, always good for living lavish at half the price Rio: though imma need a wardrobe like yours if I'm hitting up the designers every week like 😏 Rio: I know, you daddy Buster: I'll set you one up in the one Nance ain't using Rio: Coming home to all my trashion Rio: gonna be so appalled 😂 Buster: Be hilarious to explain to her Buster: Rio's moving into your room, like Rio: No particular reason, you can keep your bed tho gurl Rio: wait, what Buster: Yeah like, she's also moving into mine Buster: Don't ask Rio: 😋 Rio: If she's anything like you, she wouldn't lmao Buster: We ain't alike, unlucky babe Rio: Umm Rio: 👌 Buster: Fuck off Rio: Babe 😂 Buster: Behave Rio: Not before I have to Buster: 😈 Buster: I'm not that far away so enjoy your jokes while you can Rio: I will Rio: almost as much as I'll enjoy my punishment, like Buster: Put it this way, it won't be the jokes you remember later Buster: The punishment you'll still feel Buster: 😏 Rio: 😩 Rio: Please Buster: Maybe when I can hear you properly I'll listen Rio: Ugh Rio: unfair Rio: at least tell me the traffic gods are still being kind Buster: They are Buster: I'll be with you soon Rio: Good Rio: Looks like I'm outta time to work on my best apology Rio: What a shame 😏 Buster: I can feel how sorry you are from here Buster: But feel free to still tell me if you think it's worth hearing Rio: And I'M all about manners, sure 😉 Buster: I've been spending to much time with you, obviously Buster: Take the blame, Cavante Rio: You wanna cancel next week, like? Rio: Forget the rota, nbd Buster: You might need the break once I've finally fucked you senseless without any interruptions Buster: But no Buster: I'll be ready for you then too Rio: I'll let you know afterwards Rio: Don't think you're getting rid of me that easy though, especially not if you do it like you say Buster: Don't you know by now that 1. I don't wanna be rid of you and 2. if anything it'll be even better than I say Buster: Modest to a fault as I am, like Rio: 'Course baby Rio: first thing that comes to mind, like Buster: Better not be the very first thing Rio: Okay Rio: first thing I can say out loud to anyone Buster: That's more like it Rio: Nearly got in the wrong cab Rio: Eager 😂 Buster: I'd have to go full movie moment and race after you until the chase down Rio: Got car chases and fight scenes on the brain Rio: Everyone knows the best bit of any Bond is the girl and the sex scene Buster: Believe me, that's not what I'm thinking about right now Buster: Happily in the majority agreeing about the sex scene Rio: I know Rio: wouldn't take the backseat of a cab over the driver's of your own if it was Buster: Get in Buster: The right car this time, like Rio: 😒 Hush Rio: Do my best Buster: I'll get out and pull you in Buster: Swear to god Rio: 😏 When he's willing to risk abduction charges for you Buster: Shhh Buster: You know I'd risk it all, babe Rio: Getting in before you can get any better, like Buster: Got the best already Rio: 😳

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: You got no business looking that good Rio: This is a religious holiday Buster: Don't look at me like that Buster: You're being unholy yourself, like Rio: Ha, try and make me stop Rio: we're fine, everyone's too busy with their lamb, thanks da Buster: You might be fine but I'm eventually gonna have to get up from this table Rio: You want me to pass you some water, babe? Buster: Don't you dare Rio: Salt? The peas? Buster: Behave Rio: But I'm bored Rio: and you're hot Buster: Well, bored isn't the word for how you're making me feel Buster: And don't start me on how you fucking look Rio: But I need to know what you're thinking Buster: But I thought you knew everything, babe Buster: Losing your touch already, like Rio: You want me to show you I ain't here and now? Rio: Well, okay Buster: Okay Buster: Go on Rio: Damn, been a while since I had to play footsie Buster: If you aren't up to it, like Rio: Please Rio: You know I could get you off from here if I wanted to Buster: You promising or warning me? Rio: Neither Rio: 😇 naturally Rio: wish it was though Buster: I wish you were on my lap right now Rio: Baby 😩 Rio: Play nice Buster: 😇 Buster: Get me a drink, yeah? I wanna see more of you Rio: What you want? Buster: Surprise me Rio: Stick to your usual Rio: Raising enough eyebrows being civil, never mind if I get you a 🍸 Buster: 😂 Buster: I can throw it back in your face if you like Buster: Be very uncivil Rio: 😂 Rio: I know you want me on you but you want it that bad you'll settle for a fat lip Buster: I'll take it if you call me later to make up Rio: Face that cute? I could never Rio: Though makeup sex is always worth it Buster: Never say never, babe Rio: You planning to get me that mad already? Buster: Like you said, we're raising eyebrows otherwise Rio: Hmpf Buster: Don't look at me like that either Rio: I can't help it Rio: I want you Rio: I hate pretending otherwise Rio: even though we gotta, obvs Buster: I know, babe Buster: There's gotta be something this fam is running low on so I can be a gent and take you to buy more Rio: Not fucking eggs that's for sure, think they've forgotten we ain't kids anymore Rio: the haul Jay's gonna walk away with will last her 'til she's at least 2 Buster: Maybe if I leave them here Buster: Chlo ain't got the willpower or memo that she ain't a kid herself Buster: I'd offer to keep drinking so we run out but I already don't trust myself around you Rio: Wouldn't be a proper function if someone didn't get wasted and disgrace themselves Rio: Put you to bed before you properly drag us both down, don't worry babe Buster: Don't, I need you to take me to bed Buster: or anywhere else Rio: I know Rio: I'll think of something Buster: Couldn't you have worn a church look or whatever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: This is my church look Rio: turning it out for Jesus 💁 Buster: 'Course Buster: Ready to pray, yeah? Rio: Think pretending I dropped something only works in the porn but I'm game to see if you are Buster: I'm game for everything Rio: I know Rio: Thank fuck 🙌🙏 Buster: Am I a bad person if I use my kid as an excuse to leave? Rio: Hmm Rio: Probably but church portion of the day well out the way so even the big man can't be judging Buster: Fuck I can't though, can I? She's loving all this Rio: Yeah, bless her Buster: Least she's too young to know that her mum didn't contribute to the easter basket or even wish her a happy one Buster: Too busy flirting with me, like Rio: 😒 Rio: Bitch Buster: I told her me and Erin broke up 'cause there was someone else but she only heard the first part, obviously Buster: Not even any of her business what I do but that's a whole other story Rio: That'll be fun then, thinking she's got more of a chance than she usually does Rio: How does she not die of shame, like Buster: She'll outlive everyone Buster: Just to fuck me off Rio: 😂 Rio: all those spa trips Rio: going to the fucking fountain of youth Buster: Honestly Buster: I'm gonna need a buy myself a spa if she goes through with her plan to come here and pick Jay up Rio: 😬 Rio: least I get to see her best attempt at a seduce 'em 'fit Rio: see what I'm up against, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Indie's got more game and she's a kid Rio: pass on the compliment Rio: full of the joys of spring, babe Buster: She'll love that. I've seen her looking at me when I'm trying not to look at you Rio: Can't blame her Rio: You look especially good rn Buster: Still not on your level, babe Buster: You're so fucking beautiful Rio: Don't Rio: gonna make me blush Buster: I have to Buster: You need to know Rio: Baby Rio: Come find me in 5 idc Rio: I've got to see you properly Buster: Where? Rio: The studio upstairs Rio: there's old toys and shit in there that we can be trying to find Buster: and good lighting Buster: 'cause you know I wanna see you properly too Rio: Exactly Rio: you can appreciate fully Buster: I'm really appreciating how loud this fam is right now Rio: Got their uses Buster: If Jay gets much more hype there ain't nothing I couldn't do that they'd pick up on Rio: She's stealing your thunder, it true Rio: everyone too 😍 to notice us Buster: Good Buster: I only want you to notice me anyway Buster: No offense Indie Rio: Trust, I've not been able to focus on anything else Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Me either but still gonna make you 😏 Buster: Go Buster: I'll see you in 5 Rio: 👋 Buster: I can't believe we actually got away with that Buster: Again Rio: We're just that good Rio: or they're just really deaf Buster: I like option 1 Buster: You're so good, Rio Rio: You too baby Rio: No matter how many times you make me cum, never enough, like Rio: mad Buster: What are you doing later? Buster: Come over and I won't stop Rio: Got a shift but can probably pop 'round after and Indie won't be home yet to clock I'm not Rio: thinks I got a mans anyway so Buster: As long as you don't wake Jay you can come over when you want Buster: Yeah? What did you tell her Rio: Of course Rio: 😶😇 Rio: Oh, that I've been fucking you, obviously Buster: Cheers for making me choke on my drink like a soft cunt, babe Buster: Hilarious Buster: Grandad's looking at me like I killed a bloke Rio: 😂 sacrilege to not be able to handle your drink in this fam Rio: just can't handle my bants, soz babe Buster: He'd rather I did someone over with my glass, I know Rio: Questionable ethics for a easter egg hunt for kiddos but go off, old man Buster: 😂 Buster: Gotta keep that competitive edge Rio: Don't, this lot need a referee Rio: putting Indie and Jan on time out Buster: I volunteer Grace Buster: Imagine like Rio: Definition of lamb to the slaughter Rio: appropriate for today but poor girl 😂 Buster: I'll cut her some slack, she's good with my kid Rio: Yeah Rio: who doesn't love a cute new baby Rio: programmed to in this fam Buster: True Buster: Only reason I ain't disinherited Rio: Weren't you're 'rents basically your age anyway? Rio: Can't judge when you make the same mistakes, just be very, very disappointed on the low 😜 Buster: Different story that we're all sick of hearing though, ain't it? Buster: My dad was in love with my mum when he was like 7 Rio: 'bout to say that's a madness but did mine really mature much in those 8 years like? Rio: 🙄 mental, all of 'em Buster: This fucking fam 🙄🙄 Buster: I'd rather be like Chlo who Rio: As much as she is that forgettable, defs not gonna happen on her watch is it Buster: She's still flirting Buster: Give it up, babe Buster: But like don't Rio: Pretend to be your new crazy gf if you wanna Rio: losing her mind searching for socials that don't exist Buster: Please Rio: Easy Rio: Comforted enough of my friends when they're in the wrong to know how to go off Buster: Come through for me then Rio: Fun Rio: Lemme hit up Grace for her straighteners Buster: She'll be buzzing Rio: Forreal, always trying to come for my hair Buster: 😒 Rio: Probably does look a mess now no thanks to you Rio: like bitch, you been dragged through a hedge backwards what's good Buster: Shut up Buster: You know you look good Rio: You might've mentioned a few times 😋 Buster: I'll show you a few more times if you need me to Buster: Just say the word, like Rio: Trying to get me to say the p word Rio: Gonna have to do better Buster: If I was trying you'd have already said it Rio: Promises, promises Rio: Can have that one for free Buster: Well, can't exactly promise to bend you over the table, much as I might wanna Rio: Buster Rio: Why put that in my head when I'm here having to wash up with the mas Buster: It's been in mine since I got here Rio: ugh Rio: either come help or go away Rio: can't have you near me if you're not gonna be near enough Buster: I like you but I don't like you that much Buster: I'll go do some daddy duties like Rio: 😂 Rio: fucking cheek Rio: good luck getting her away from your ma, that manicures too expensive for our dishwater, like Buster: It's not all you, I ain't about to leave my watch lying around this lot either Rio: have your hand off for it like Rio: didn't you know you were coming to the 24 Buster: I had tunnel vision, didn't I? Rio: Good Rio: how I like it Buster: I know Rio: What else do you know Buster: I know I want to be alone with you Rio: Tonight Buster: Yeah Buster: Unless you've got a better offer all of a sudden, that is Rio: You what? Buster: What I said Rio: Yeah but Rio: No, not since you last checked in like, 10 minutes ago, we're still on babe 😂 Buster: Says you but your phone been blowing up since then Buster: So whatever Rio: It's literally Indie Rio: Told you she's Sherlocking me Rio: Was you jealous? Buster: Fuck off Buster: 'Course not Rio: Awww Rio: How cute Buster: Shut up no Rio: Yeah you were Rio: s'okay, you know you got no reason to be now and i can't tell no one anyway Buster: I always knew I had no reason to be, babe, I ain't no proper competition Buster: That's why I wasn't Rio: Oh, really? Rio: Well then, I won't make an extra special effort to show you how much you do not need to be jealous Rio: Cool with me Buster: Behave Buster: No need to go that far, babe Buster: You can still show me something Rio: Idk now Rio: catch me going through my contacts like 🤔🤔🤔 Rio: got me thinkin' Buster: Yeah you do Buster: You know you won't get better than this right here Rio: Yeah Rio: so you still gonna let me have it or are you too pouty now? Buster: Yeah 'cause you obviously need me to remind you how good you got it with me Rio: Don't but want it so Rio: Please Buster: Let's go then Buster: I'll get Jay ready and follow you out Rio: Can't yet Rio: In fact, brb for a sec Buster: Seriously? Rio: [Suitable amount of time to have a smoke later] Rio: Back Rio: Indie needed some TLC Buster: I reckon you meant THC Rio: That too Buster: You wanna go now? Rio: Reckon this party's pretty much over Rio: got the 🍫 let's ride Buster: I can say I'm giving you a ride yeah? That's just gentlemanly Buster: Otherwise you'll freeze to death waiting around the corner Rio: I appreciate you resisting the urge to make a joke about me working the corner this time, like Rio: much obliged 👍 Rio: yeah, that seems normal and not suspicious Buster: Well, don't actually want that fat lip you threatened me with earlier Buster: Even if you would kiss it better Rio: For a whitey, your lips aren't bad Rio: so I'll leave you how you are 😘 Buster: Cheers Rio: Please tell me there's no family functions for a while? Rio: Hard work not being able to be on you Buster: Christ knows with this fam that I can't make that promise Buster: But I swear you'll never have to wait long for me to come find you whenever there is Rio: Now, THAT'S a promise Buster: And you can hold me to it, babe Rio: I will

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: ⚰ knock knock Ali: do i need to get the ouija out Carly: yea Carly: tho bit late to ghost the lad in my bed Carly: idk who he is Ali: 🤠 put on a disguise Ali: like whomst Ali: beats having to leave your own gaff Ali: tho it is a crime scene Carly: got love bites from my arse to my elbow Carly: is he a vamp or what like Carly: i taste good i kno Carly: [sends photographic evidence] Ali: bitch Ali: are you anaemic?! Ali: leech sounds more like it but is he sparkly with good hair Carly: bitch its too early for words i cant spell wtf Carly: he is sparkling but thats my shine ha Carly: the hair is a no Ali: low on iron, probs, i'll get you some iron tablets Ali: taste like blood, don't tell your bedmate, he won't wanna leave Ali: party's over n sharing ain't caring Ali: someone's feeling herself this morning Ali: here for it Ali: I've already been left so that's a no to me Carly: party only ended when i passed out a few hours ago Carly: so yea Carly: was fun Carly: baby no come over Ali: was whilst it lasted for me too but you know Ali: duty calls Ali: you sure Ali: don't wanna break it up if you're good to go again Carly: yea Carly: not scared to go hard on site cuz garda are to come around Carly: i am but hes snoring Carly: & boring Carly: come Ali: perks Ali: check he's not bumped his head Ali: they'd have to come if a normie went missing Carly: nah he has to go before he goes for a slash in my bed Carly: lads are ming Ali: want me to forward that to lene Ali: make her day Ali: steal my girl Carly: do Carly: never seen her party before Carly: weird Ali: Yeah Ali: she can hang but Ali: you know, other shit on her mind Ali: work being one of 'em Ali: thank god I ain't working today Carly: & i cant get a job Carly: ha Carly: can get rid of this boy easy tho Carly: hold on Ali: another skill for the CV Carly: yea Carly: better not have knocked me up Carly: not cute Ali: Umm Ali: you need to go to the pharmacy Carly: theres so much shit on the floor i cant tell whats us & whats party Carly: idc Carly: idk Carly: ill ask him Ali: Lemme know Ali: if I could pick it up for you I would Ali: guess I can, put on a oscar winning show for the nosy bitch in there Ali: Ma will die Carly: ha Carly: its k he wouldnt have gone near me w out Carly: quoted Ali: what a prick Ali: better not be there when i show up cunt Carly: hes leaving Carly: screaming him awake will do that like Carly: ha Ali: what he get for passing out 🤷 Ali: coulda shaved his eyebrows off like Carly: next time maybe Ali: get out the sharpie and all Ali: now it's a party Carly: need your artsy talents tho Carly: me just hold up i need my baby Ali: you got it covered babe Ali: i believe in you Carly: aw Carly: i gotta clean me & this place need belief Ali: how long are your rents away and are there enough stragglers we can rope in Ali: twatface not included, bye Carly: idk but yea theres lads everywhere Carly: mattress is covered Ali: 👏 Ali: put 'em to work Carly: while i lie here k Ali: hmm Ali: no bitch Ali: i know you're princess 'round these parts but still Ali: carriage is back to being a pumpkin sweetie Carly: but im 🤒 Ali: you're hanging Ali: can't claim morning sickness now bitch Ali: chop chop Carly: ha Carly: k bitch Carly: honeymoon over yea Ali: will be if your 'rents come back to this and murder you Carly: idc Carly: be sweet to me Ali: awh baby Ali: only playing tough love Ali: thinking i'm spending too much time with my gf? Carly: yea Carly: i missed you when she stole you away Ali: how dare she 😜 Ali: missed you too tho Carly: youre mine Carly: married you first Carly: & you didnt say bye to me 😢 Ali: are you sure Ali: 'cos I ain't Ali: but how unforgivably rude 😰 Carly: id remember Carly: never forget my boo Ali: baby Carly: you can make it up to me tho Ali: oh yeah? Ali: lemme guess, feed u grapes whilst you recline Carly: nah just be here Ali: easy Ali: got to yoga first but then i'll be there Ali: went too hard with the dancing last night obvs Carly: k ill shower that lad off me Carly: i think you went just right baby Ali: too descriptive babe 😬😂 Ali: calm down with your creative ways Carly: ha Carly: you should hear me sext Carly: so good Ali: sure Ali: maybe works on the straight boys 😉 Carly: not trying to work on anyone else Carly: tell your gf if shes gonna come for me Ali: you're alright, not her type Ali: I barely am Ali: 50% like Carly: shit odds Carly: that why shes so angry Ali: as shit as yours Ali: just in reverse Ali: not saying you're both wrong but Carly: k Carly: cant all be perfect babe Carly: thats just you Ali: 💁 Carly: you kno Ali: ugh my brother's being so annoying Ali: bitch i'm coming down i will fight you Carly: which 1 Ali: dancing one Carly: hes fun Ali: glad you think so Ali: send him over instead yeah Carly: you come here & stay at yours Carly: i'll Ali: alright Ali: you're getting a rough deal soz Carly: why Ali: 'cos he's usually the alright one, so if he's testing me, wait 'til the rest rock up Carly: idc i can sleep through anything Ali: be my guest Carly: but i want you to be mine Carly: had to share last nite Ali: you done w sharing? Carly: yea Carly: im mad Ali: aww Ali: pouty princess Carly: [sends a pouty selfie] Carly: cuz its better when you stay Ali: you're so cute Ali: it's rude and i object Carly: just for you my baby Ali: 😏 such a tease Carly: nah Carly: you can have anything you want Ali: yeah yeah Ali: anything you want from the shops Carly: theres nothing here Carly: i cant do that to you Ali: okay, i'll get breakfast and cleaning shit Carly: theres no money tho Ali: i don't mind Ali: s'only breakfast Ali: IOU if you want but honestly Carly: you're too good to me & for me boo Ali: nah i'm not Ali: no one deserves to be treated like shit the morning after Carly: got me crying Ali: baby Ali: don't be sad Carly: come down is a bitch but youre an angel Ali: 💚 i know Ali: you've survived it many a time before though, you'll be okay Ali: especially when you get some food and hugs Carly: yea Carly: shouldve invited your brother to my party Carly: what a bitch i am Ali: no no, he ain't here, just blowing up my phone being dumb Ali: you're alright, sure you'll meet him when summers out and he's out on town being fabulous Carly: k didnt fuck up the 1st impression Carly: love the gays Carly: your gf excluded like Ali: he's stalked your socials and liked what he's seen Ali: not in a creepy way 'cos gay, of course Ali: awh 😂 why can't we all get along Carly: he can add me i wont send him nudes Carly: cuz she looks at me like she was willing me to hang this hard Ali: oh good to know 😜 Ali: not letting him though, he chats shite and if he's gonna I need to vet it Ali: deal with it boy, crazy posessive wife like Ali: she's just angry with me Carly: idk who lads are if i cant id them in my usual and not seen his dick Carly: my bad if nudes go where they shouldnt Carly: whats he saying about me Carly: who could be angry at you too beautiful Ali: me either for a while, like Ali: feel it's unfair to describe it from memory of having to bath together Ali: awks Ali: just that you're cute Ali: n fun, of course Ali: and a hoe with it 😜 so her, easily lol Carly: aw Carly: but you didnt snog ronan last nite he werent there Ali: nah but she thinks i'm making a twat out of myself with you Ali: tragic straight girl crush, like Carly: cant have a crush on your missus Carly: weve gone beyond it Carly: real love Ali: yeah Ali: but you know Carly: she thinks were gonna fuck Carly: 3way would sort that Ali: exactly Ali: can't on principle Ali: and even if we whack out the strapon, no real dick for you so Carly: list where ive been Carly: puts loads of people off Carly: she'll know youre not trying to get w me Ali: i'm not gonna do you like that Ali: fuck that Carly: idc Carly: do what youve gonna do boo Ali: i know you don't Ali: but i do Ali: fuck those people who are just mad they weren't higher up in the list Ali: s'why you weren't so jog on Carly: stop being so nice to me Carly: if youre mean she'll forget her jealousy Ali: i don't want to Ali: i can handle it Ali: if she can't then Ali: that's that, isn't it Carly: yea Carly: but i dont wanna start shit for you Ali: trust, you didn't start this Ali: it's easier for her to pretend that's all it is Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: if i was a lad id be fucked wouldnt i Ali: probably Ali: don't agree with that, it'd be the same but it'd be different in how she'd be able to deal, yeah Carly: thank god i grew some tits Ali: 😂 Ali: good job babe Carly: my ma was made up as well Carly: took a while like Carly: cant let her get the album out cuz i look like a lad Carly: pretty one tho Ali: you were always cute Ali: i remember Ali: grew into your ears and all 😉 Carly: aw Carly: do you tho? Ali: yeah, 'course Carly: you were always scrapping Carly: shouldve got w your gf then she'd like you more Ali: 😬 let us not think of how troubling the age gap woulda seemed then Ali: must've thought i was a right scouse stereotype Ali: bitches deserved it tho Carly: i thought you were cute Carly: & brave Carly: i was always behind my ma's legs Ali: like my sister Ali: I was always down for the more the merrier but her and Laoise said coven's had to be three so Ali: 🔮 number and all Ali: and tbh Laoise weren't that thrilled Ro was there, like Carly: black magic vibes from her forever Ali: legit Ali: shoulda been scrapping with her, like Carly: yea or fucking her first bf but i got there before you Carly: idk how she knew tho cuz he didnt tell anyone Ali: never lose that sixth sense, babe Ali: esp. when concerning keeping a man 🙄 Carly: did her a favor he was shit Carly: didnt have a clue what he was doing Carly: thought every virgin binge watched porn like Ali: 😂 Ali: have you ever binge watched? you're learning nothing of value from that shite Carly: yea but when youre bored youre bored Ali: I hear ya Ali: always bored Carly: me too Carly: & this sex drive isnt set for a cry wank or eye fuck Carly: no offence ma and da Ali: can't take it personally, lads Ali: ain't there's to try and control Carly: they gotta txt me back so i kno when they are coming home Carly: wtf got you two so busy Ali: all that sex they ain't having Carly: porn binge watch Carly: tho my dad likes reading his Ali: Can't beat a sticky page Ali: lost arm form Ali: art, lmao Ali: sure his form is grand Carly: doctor like howd you lose that arm Carly: epic cry wank Ali: 💪 on the right Ali: limp noodle on the other Carly: hot Ali: that's your father you're talking about Ali: no need to be that stereotypical Carly: shit my bad Ali: 😂 Ali: i love you bitch Carly: I love you too Carly: loads Carly: im mad at you again tho Ali: why what have i done>!> Carly: some1 came round the doorway & i thought it was you so i opened up but nah Carly: enjoy the eyeful lads Ali: oh babe Ali: 😏 bless you Carly: not gonna put clothes on for my girl Carly: waste of time Ali: obvs, charm you out so quick Ali: least it weren't the postie, or was it Ali: Ma reckons we were gonna get complaints, as if mother Carly: lad did deliver for me Carly: not letters tho Carly: least id showered Ali: gotta replenish Ali: you chasing off your comedown rn tho Carly: cant outrun that bitch Carly: some of the mas on site are mad tho you can tell yours Carly: state of their sons my bad Carly: should've kept em in if you were bothered Ali: oh great Ali: no you can't speak to the manager, piss off helen Carly: ha Carly: my da is gonna be in such a mood when he hears Carly: sorry you missed out Ali: parents Ali: not like anyone died Ali: calm it everyone Carly: dont want me to fuck on site dont want me to go off it Carly: talk sense Carly: other day you were trying to marry me off da Ali: just 'cos it brings people to his door Ali: soz to take you away from all the cranking but Carly: yea Carly: sorry im not hiding in the back like w i was little Ali: yeah Ali: too big for the caravan now baby Ali: need your own, how much is it to rent Carly: theyre on about it but the state on this one might change their minds Carly: im cleaning as fast as i can k Ali: we're gonna sort it, i am omw swear Ali: and i'm a parent pleaser so Ali: do the rounds, sweettalk to mothers Carly: he'll just take me back to the doctors like take her off the tablets shes too outgoing now thx Carly: another of your talents boo Ali: when the meds work TOO well Ali: but of course Carly: if he was around hed kno how shit they are Carly: ha Ali: 😔 Ali: baby Carly: its k just gotta double down Carly: pro now Ali: 💚 Carly: style the freakout out cuz ima bad bitch Carly: facts and talents Ali: no lies Ali: the baddest Carly: what we doing today that isnt boring Ali: you mean you ain't buzzing to make like kim and aggy Ali: rude, i'm living Carly: do anything w you but Carly: can only check you out every time you bend Ali: cheeky Ali: appaz imma check all of you out, like Carly: what you dont wanna Carly: your gf will be sad shes so wrong Ali: didn't say that but yeah Ali: hate to make her admit that as well, like Carly: ill tell her Ali: you gonna snitch on me Ali: 🍯 Carly: nah jk Carly: i like annoying her tho Ali: i know Ali: it is funny Ali: not taking sides but lol Carly: taking mine i kno Ali: shh Ali: there's no right or wrong here, babe Carly: k but you love me more Ali: its different Carly: maybe Ali: maybe huh Carly: idk she dont think it is Ali: yeah Ali: but we know the truth Carly: fact is we're ruling this place together Carly: no surprise shes jealous Ali: if the 👑 fits like Ali: soz babe Carly: & we fit Carly: cant fight it Ali: nope Ali: if it works it works Carly: yea & you work it better than anyone babe Ali: oh you Ali: save it for all the Ma's you gotta say soz to Ali: 💋 Carly: ha Carly: mine will kick my arse out if she gets on one better leave the mattress where it is Ali: not gonna come to that but always room for a lil one at ours Ali: i got you Carly: aw Carly: never had a sleepover when i was a kid Ali: 😧 then you gotta Ali: tbh they weren't all that always but you know mine were the best Carly: yea no doubt Carly: all the magic Ali: exactly, midnight snacks and scaring the shit out of each other Ali: can tell you who you gonna marry if you've got a tea light, like Carly: thats easy tho Carly: no1 Ali: alright then, excluding the fact we already is so rude, tbh Ali: i'll tell you who you next gonna bang Ali: same diff Carly: youre just gonna say you Carly: smooth Ali: please Ali: gimme some credit 😂 Carly: now i gotta kno Ali: we'll do it when i get there Ali: which will be soon Ali: got stuck chatting to an old lady in the shop Ali: assume she can't see or she'd have avoided me like hell 😂 bless her Carly: if its ronan again or his cousin dont tell me Carly: aw so cute Carly: youre the sweetest & prettiest ever Ali: i'll casually throw the wax in the bin like nothing to see here Ali: not this morning baby but 1/2 ain't bad #stillgotit Carly: tell me you see my death & run like k bye Carly: every morning Ali: you'd rather your literal death? they ain't THAT bad, predictable but like, damn Ali: that's some shade, feel the burn, lads Ali: so are you cutie Carly: idk but over ronan hard Carly: hes being such an arsehole to me Carly: cba Ali: don't Ali: ignore his Carly: yea but like im gonna see him even if i do Carly: fucking site life Ali: i kno but blank him Ali: nothing talks louder Ali: or if you gotta, be proper polite like he's a stranger Carly: ha yea Carly: amazing Ali: childish but so is he so Ali: two can play at that game Carly: youre right i kno Carly: ive deleted his txts so i cant show you but its k cuz youd be sad Carly: or mad Ali: i'm sure i could guess the gist Ali: you can tell me if you wanna talk about it though, i promise i won't go ripshit Carly: idc Carly: ive known him long so i didnt think hed go that hard but thats what lads are like Carly: he fucks around more than me too Ali: he's a hypocrite Ali: just 'cos he knows other lads can do it better Ali: he's just insecure, babe, ignore him Carly: i need a holiday from here Carly: but ma & da never take me w Ali: shit considering how many times they manage Ali: cut a hol off and you'd have enough funds lads Ali: maybe we can Carly: i did kick off last time cuz they didnt refill my prescription Carly: went crazy like Carly: wouldnt want that girl there either Ali: not your fault, that, though Ali: you were literally off your meds Carly: that they reckon i dont need tho Ali: if you didn't then you wouldn't act like that without Ali: simple as Carly: never thought of that Ali: we'll go, i promise Ali: even if it ain't far Carly: lets camp Carly: marshmallows are the shit Ali: hell yeah! Ali: let's find a cave forreal Carly: YEA Carly: dont fall over tho Ali: do my best 😂 Carly: you gotta Carly: only scaring me w ghost stories or whatever Ali: promise Carly: k we'll go Carly: 💙 Ali: 💚 done and done Ali: do you wanna bring anyone else or Carly: got my fave coming Carly: do you Ali: nah Ali: just wanna take you exploring Carly: k Carly: then you can Ali: 👌 Carly: id go now so whenever you want boo Ali: soon Ali: i'll work it out Carly: i kno Carly: got the belief Ali: 🔮 Carly: should get dressed or nothing'll get done Ali: awh Ali: you knew i just got here Carly: they arent on yet Carly: not that fast Ali: jk Ali: find me on the mattress when you're decent bitch Carly: baby no Carly: youll catch something off that Ali: sitting on the carrier bag Ali: always thinking Carly: so smart

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: save me Ali: this practice is dragging Carly: survive it & i'll help you forget you had to Ali: reckon i've only just come down Ali: but this sesh is making that happen hard and fast 😩 Ali: how's you Carly: aw baby no Carly: say you caught stage fright off me & you gotta leave rn k Carly: i was still up before i got brought down too Ali: dead believable Carly: i kno Ali: can't even blend into the furniture 'cos there is none Ali: so grunge rn Ali: unacceptable tho, who's bringing my baby down Carly: lie on the floor Carly: as protests go itd get the mood across Carly: ronan is Ali: yeah, 'less they think i'm about to go all acdc on 'em Ali: shouldn't have needed to ask but there we are Ali: what's got his knickers in a twist today Carly: wtf does that mean Carly: a load of his cousins are back on site Carly: fun Ali: oh babe Ali: missing out Ali: i'll show you, not at this rehearsal but when i'm actually bringing my rockstar a game Ali: omg is bartley there Carly: k Carly: yea he is Carly: so im not Ali: fun times Ali: i'd rather him over ronan but you do you Carly: if i wanted a bf Carly: but nah Carly: & hes not over it Ali: 😬 Ali: come to grab you Ali: awks Carly: yea Carly: like i kno im good thats why i cant save it all for you boy Carly: wife your own Ali: thought they weren't allowed to wife gorjas anyway Ali: tuttut Ali: you just out here tryna be community spirited Carly: yea im just living like one of you don't get it twisted lads Carly: cant make it clearer than fucking your cousin at your bday party Ali: damn Ali: stone cold boo Carly: told him how it had to be but he didnt wanna hear it Carly: had to show him instead you kno Ali: i get it, did the same but in reverse Ali: its cultural but its a bullshit excuse Ali: don't answer to anyone, so they don't like no, like Carly: yea? Carly: how fun Carly: like i dont answer to anyone either lads Ali: mhmm, you know how weird he got ick Ali: forreal Ali: my ma might say otherwise but shh Carly: mine wouldnt Carly: out here making her proud Ali: pop that on the next postcard Ali: glad you ain't here, lads Carly: ha Carly: wish you were tho you could distract Barty for me Carly: the grass is too wet for creeping Carly: fall on my arse Ali: poor baby Ali: i'd throw myself on that dick bomb for you Ali: lene can't even be mad Ali: loves chivalry Carly: aw Carly: youre too good Carly: i kno i should just go out there like idgaf but looking like this Carly: not gonna do me any favors Ali: like you're so 😍 there's gonna be a riot or you looking how you feeling Carly: wanna say yea to the first 1 but got the weight of last nite on me Ali: fuck this Ali: i'm coming and i'm bringing concealer Carly: might start a riot at rehearsal baby Carly: but idc if you dont Ali: nah, explained Ali: basically a feminist emergency Ali: how could they refuse Ali: don't need to mention we're gonna turn looks and party Carly: ha Carly: [sends selfie] Carly: thats what im working w Carly: emergency it is Ali: nah you still cute Ali: cuter than them, that's a given but i'll bring all my shit Ali: love a makeover moment Carly: youre so sweet Carly: love a happy lie Ali: no lies bitch Carly: ha k bitch Ali: a bitch better believe me Ali: imma make you when i'm through, don't worry Carly: you do have talent Carly: ive seen that Ali: 😉 Ali: tell you it's all natural or take the compliment hmm Carly: nobodys lashes look that good w out help Carly: but when i can see the freckles i kno you not going hard like Carly: so cute Ali: now who's the sweet one, shortcake Ali: 😊 Carly: facts baby Carly: im just saying 'em Ali: touche Ali: well your eye and hair colour combo is killer and we gon flaunt that Carly: its gonna clash w my skin if you keep making me blush boo Ali: nah, save your blushes for me Ali: stone cold fox, remember Ali: they'll never know Carly: dont let your gf kno Carly: dont wanna get grabbed by her either k Ali: 😂 Ali: she'll be gutted but cool with me Carly: love a 3way but Carly: she still scares me Ali: She's a pussycat really Carly: w you Carly: cuz youre cute Ali: so are you Ali: just a #confirmedstraight Ali: she can't be too nice, like, think of her rep Carly: ha Carly: tell her how many girls ive fucked Ali: tempting as it is to spice up the pillowtalk babe Ali: can't deal with the male gaze rant again 🙄 Carly: like you dont kno how to shhh her Ali: 😏 Ali: easy as a lad, like, but don't tell Carly: facts Carly: like i said you have talent baby Ali: backatcha Ali: for a straight girl, like 😘 Carly: ha Carly: yea lads arent no trick Ali: like you said you've fucked loads of girls too Carly: idk tho didnt stick around to tell me how it was Ali: hmm Ali: have to ask for a review next time Carly: fuck no Carly: might as well go to school and flunk that like Ali: awh baby Ali: how you expecting to learn anything 'bout treating a girl right from ronan Carly: idc Carly: as long as the lad is feeling what im doing Carly: & they do Ali: no doubt Carly: too much in bartys case Ali: hard life being a bad bitch Carly: ha you kno Ali: are any of his other cousins cute Ali: get the full set Carly: yea Carly: most are Ali: back again to homewreck hey Carly: couple are old but would Ali: shame i'm 💍 and they probs are too Carly: ha yea Carly: you could end yours w a txt but them nah Ali: you reckon? 😂 Carly: whats she gonna do Carly: show up here Carly: ill be like i dont share bitch Ali: probably Ali: shotgun toting da's don't scare her as much as they should Carly: k ill remember that Carly: hope mine dont show for my own reasons Ali: would probs scare off bart but also all the others Carly: youd think but hed just have a beer w them & b matey matey Carly: reckon hed sell me for a case if he could Carly: ship sailed w my virginity tho Ali: bummer really Ali: who knows what we coulda got outta that deal Ali: giving it away willynilly ugh past me Carly: they might wanna go harder for round 2 Carly: youre more talented now Ali: nice salespitch, babe Ali: i'm impressed, idk if they will be but worth a shot Carly: they would Carly: not that stupid Carly: & youre that cute Ali: like i'll wanna go with them when their chat is gonna be nowhere near as nice 😋 Carly: aw Carly: well you got me Carly: marital bed whenever Ali: but of course 😂 Carly: youre meant to laugh me into bed not out Ali: yeah and you're meant to wanna be there babe so it's chill Carly: k yea true Ali: even with my talents Ali: no turning water into wine, like Ali: sadly Carly: not w that attitude baby Ali: yeah being a debby downer's your only turn-off Ali: my ego thanks you, babe 😉 Carly: i'll work on the rest of you thanking me when you get here Ali: bitch... 😳 Ali: least it gon' be equal when I slay your makeover Carly: ill be grateful you kno Ali: i know

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘