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#but hey the text is right-justified :)
sanstropfremir · 1 year
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does it feel like quite a few comebacks have really dropped the ball styling-wise this year? you've mentioned Taeyong's Shalala with the recycled NCT wardrobe, but i feel like i'm seeing so many jeans and tee shirts on music shows lately and it just looks so lazy. Like I was shocked at how for P1Harmony's Jump for example, it felt like the stylists had made zero effort at all (which is a shame since the song is throwback in nature that we could've gotten a riot of 2012-kpop looks).
yea there kinda has been a drought this year on styling, at least in the first half. it's been oddly consistent in a way though, if that makes sense? i'm looking through my first half styling playlist and it doesnt seem like there's as many cbs as there usually is on there, but there's still around the same number of videos bc the stylings that have been good have HIT with pretty much everything. just scrolling through its like. every halazia stage every rose blossom stage every xg stage every tic tac stage every sweet juice stage etc etc. lots of stuff's been pretty meh all around and therefore doesn't make the initial cut, but there's comparatively few of middling missed opportunity ones. i think the biggest ones there for me are shalala and rover, which i think i did publish that ask about......i think.
it especially feels like a dirth rn i think bc may and some of june were pretty slow for good releases in general, so now that there's more groups in the summer cb swing it feels more obvious that the styling has been pretty bland. also it doesn't help that ateez kicked off the season with an absolute slammer of a hit, both styling and song wise.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#uuuuugh... i spend all day writing a stupid report that i dont Even kno if im wrting right#idk if im alloud to use figures idk what the deadline is. just: hey can u write abt this data? fucking sure i guess#and im not even done yet. but tonight i have to finish deconstructing and rebuilding my statement of purpose and working on my application#which is also gonna suck. but my mum says im a good writing. and then 2 sec later she was like well ur a good bullshitter. and im like lmao#thanks i guess. i think she means im good at justifying things#but its gonna b a long night. i dont actually have to finish these things tonight. its literally just my brain like: do it now or else >:-(#my boss: hope youve recharched after the sampling! me: fucking ???? was i supposed to? i just fell face first into writing instead#and i got invited to carve pumpkins tomorrow. i wasnt gonna bc ive got 3 phd interviews to prep for next week and i gotta read like a#million papers. but then today one of the other ppl texted me like: hey r u going? it would b cool if u did! i can drive u#and im like 😭 i have a friend?! so i told myself if i finish my application bullshit i can go. but again its gonna b a long night#i dont have a pumpkin tho. and i dont wanna get one. or deal with a rotting pumpking later#maybe ill just b a freak and bring a lump of clay. sculpt something as they carve. that would b a weird fucking move but like i also dont#really care. id rather play with clay than carve a pumpkin tbh#ugh. will i ever find the time to draw? maybe not. maybe ill just lay here and cry bleh#im glad that my friend reached out to me tho. that was super sweet. ive literally only hung out with her once sampling but we immediately#overshared bc it was one of those like connecting to another person probably on the spectrum things. all the interesting ppl i talk to prob#have adhd lmao. they have like exacly the opposite problems i do so i think their brians r so interesting. i mean my probs r the same but#diff. idk how to describe it. im too rigid and compulsive but also big executive function probs. im stuck somewhere between ocd and autism#lmao. or ocpd. probably definitely ocpd. hhhhhhhhh gotta love it#im just a compulsive lil goldfish swimming around and around in circles#brain wont even let me go home for Thanksgiving. annoying#and infantilizing bc i cant drive or do normal things for myself. sigh...#unrelated
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paigestrap · 5 months
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i need you.
paige bueckers x fem!reader
warnings? smut (minors dni), light angst and fluff, swearing
summary - you and paige are friends until you aren’t 🤭🤭
enjoy!!! (please?) even if u don’t pls don’t tell me i’m sensitive.
you couldnt identify the point at which your friendship with paige grew into something more. meeting her in one of your soc classes when she showed up late and sat next to you, you two became friends almost instantly.
you knew who she was of course, had gone to many of the uconn women’s basketball game. and you would never tell her, but you were definitely a fan from the start, her game and personality being a major draw, and maybe also the fact that she was beautiful, like really really beautiful (a fact you would also never tell her).
you two started hanging out pretty much everyday, whether you were doing work, going out to eat, or hanging out with her and the rest of the team at a bar after games, the two of you had become quite comfortable in each others company.
but one day, things started to change. when your shoulders would touch watching your favorite show with her next to you, it sent electricity throughout your entire body, you felt yourself looking forward to the times when your hand would brush hers while walking side by side with her to class, your mood would lighten when she would text you to hangout or simply tell you about her day, and the time you spent together felt more and more intimate as your fondness for the blonde grew.
sometimes, it felt like paige was feeling the same thing you were. her eyes would linger for longer than you felt a friend’s eyes should, her touches felt more intentional, her compliments more frequent, and her words gentler. there were times when you both were alone where it seemed like the two of you were so close to crossing that line. like the first time she asked you to spend the night, and you woke up the next morning in her arms. or when she asked you to wear her jersey to her game the next day, and of course you obliged. she asked you afterwards if you would wear her jersey for every one, justifying her request by saying you’re her “good luck charm” and of course her good luck charm needs to rep her jersey, and of course, you obliged. when you were out with her at the bar and the two of you had been drinking she would constantly be touching you, hugging you, and telling you how much you meant to her. you couldn’t tell if this was paige being paige, or if she was truthful in her words and actions.
these moments were always left unspoken, as neither you nor her felt confident enough to ever cross that line. but your heart yearned for her. her touch, her voice, her laugh, her beautiful mind. and it was getting harder and harder everyday to hide your feelings.
now, with her returning to campus after the uconn women’s basketball team lost to iowa in the final four, you feel those inhibitions being lifted. your phone screen lit up as her contact appeared on your lock screen.
p: need u rn. can u come over?
you: of course, i’m on my way
as you walk out of your apartment to make your way to your friend you realize now the extent to which you feel for her and you want nothing more than to hold her in your arms and comfort her.
“hey,” she says, opening the door for you, her face betraying her overwhelming grief. you don’t say anything, you just pull her into a hug as she lets out her first of many tears.
“i know. i’m so sorry paige. you deserved the win, you all did” you say, comforting her while also holding back tears of your own.
“can we go to my room, just wanna be with you right now,” her tear stained eyes meet yours, and your heart swells at the urge to kiss her tears away.
“of course, i’m here for whatever you need, always” you say, grabbing her hand as the two of you make your way towards her room.
“i wish you’d been there, missed you so much it’s crazy,” she admits as you both lay down side by side in her bed. her eyes never breaking away from yours.
“i missed you too paige, im so sorry i couldn’t be there for you. i hope you know how much i wish i could’ve” you pull her into your arms and embrace her as her tears begin to fall again.
“i think,” she starts, but stops herself and pauses for a long time. you are about to ask her about it before she continues, “i think i realized something about myself this weekend”
another pause. your heart beats faster, you curse yourself knowing paige could feel it too. “what’s that,” your voice is barely audible as you struggle to get the words out.
“i need you, like i really really need you. ever since i met you i just wanna be by you all the time. when we lost i just wanted you to be there and,” she propped herself up to look at you before pulling you in to a tight embrace “i’m scared that you don’t need me too” her voice breaks at the end, shattering any hope of disguising her emotions.
“oh paige, you have no idea,” you say, feeling yourself breaking at her words. you pull away from her embrace and stare into her eyes, searching for a reason not to let your walls fall. you don’t see one, “i need you like i need oxygen to breathe. the world feels muffled when you’re not next to me, i admire everything about you and i’ve never felt this way about another person before. i’ve been so scared these past few weeks that i’ll lose you if you find out how much i want you, but i can’t go on pretending i think of you as my friend when you are so much more than that.” there it is. there’s no going back now. your eyes move away from hers as you await her response.
“baby,” she whispers, hand moving to caress your cheek as she gently pulls your face in her direction, “you’ll never lose me,”
suddenly, the space between you feels so small, and in a swift motion she closes the gap between you and kisses you. the world around you begins to spin as all of your senses become heightened. you feel yourself kiss back, not too hard, not too soft, and suddenly the emotions brimming for the past months come flooding to you all at once.
her hands meet your waist as she shifts her weight to be positioned on top of you, your legs opening as she places herself in between them, never breaking your kiss.
she eventually breaks it to look down on you, a million emotions displayed on her face. she reconnects your lips with hers and you feel yourself giving in completely, desire for the blonde blooming as her kisses grow hungrier. “i want you so bad” she says breathlessly in between kisses. her tongue grazes your bottom lip, requesting entrance, and as with all of her requests, you oblige.
“please, paige,” you let out, suppressing the moans threatening to slip out as her tongue explores your mouth. you tug on her shirt, needing to feel her body closer. she takes it off and removes your shirt as well. leaving you in only your bra on top. she smiles as she looks at your now exposed body.
“god, your tits are fucking amazing,” she remarks, staring at them lustfully. you blush, suddenly feeling so exposed. her hands reach your back as she unclasps the final layer, removing your bra and revealing your bare chest. she fondles your tits and the sudden touch elicits a moan you didn’t have the restraint to hold back. her hands feel so good, and you desperately need them somewhere else, “i wanna fuck you so bad babe”
“god paige please i need you so badly” you whine, so far gone at this point to even try to hide your burning desire.
“yeah?” she grins, biting her lip and licking her lips, “where do you need me, my sweet girl, show me”
you pull yourself up and remove your bottoms, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. you grow increasingly aware of how wet you are, and embarrassed at how obvious it is. her hands roam your body and she grips both of your thighs, her gaze lowering to your heat. “you’re so wet, all because of me?” she asks like she doesn’t know the answer and lets her finger graze over your clothed pussy. you moan as she touches your clit, grinding your hips desperate for more. “so needy baby, i’m gonna take these off now alright?” you nod as she removes your panties, leaving you completely exposed and at her expense.
her hand meets your bare pussy, rubbing in between your folds and onto your clit, eliciting a loud moan from you as your body reacts to her touch. you move your head to the side and close your eyes, letting the pleasure take over. but you are quickly brought back to reality when she stops touching you and takes your face into her hand, bringing it back to face her, “i want you to look at me when i fuck you, do you understand baby?” she plants a kiss on your lips and you nod in response, unable to say a thing.
her fingers move back towards your heat and she slides one into you, “how’s that sweet girl, does that feel good?”
“yes. please. more.” you whine, your body burning at her touch, desperately needing more.
“oh yeah?” she teased as she slipped another finger in you, slowly pumping them in and out of you, curling them so she could feel them stretching against your walls.
you were done for. your body twisting and rutting against her, only causing her to quicken her pace inside you, never breaking your gaze for a second. “god you’re so fucking gorgeous like this, all mine”
your senses overloaded by her hungry words and quickening pace, you felt yourself nearing your climax “paige, please don’t stop. i’m so close” you beg, causing her to fuck you harder and faster.
“yeah? come for me baby, you’ve done so well, my pretty girl,” that was all it took to force you over the edge. you come hard, screaming out her name as the pleasure enveloped your entire body. she fucks you through your orgasm, whispering in your ear the entire time telling you how pretty you look and how good you are.
the wave of pleasure subsiding and your senses gradual coming back to you, she slides her fingers out of you, licking your wetness off of them and falling back onto your smaller figure.
“holy shit” you breathe out, panting. suddenly feeling very sleepy.
“yeah, holy shit.” she laughs, “you’re so fucking hot, you know that?” you blush at her compliment, burying your face in her chest.
“do you still think i don’t need you?” you ask, looking up at her with a shy smile. she grins, giving you a sweet kiss and looking at you with so much endearment it makes your heart swell.
“no, i’m pretty sure you made yourself clear” she laughs, pulling you closer.
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444ngles · 3 months
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One of your girls
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synopsis: after gaining feelings for your fuck buddy Toji, you can't help but feel hurt when he admits he's sleeping with one of his other girls tonight content: chocking/asphyxiation, rough sex, masturbation, mean sex, degradation, praise, riding, slapping, pet names, toji is hung lowkey, overstimulation
MDNI NSFW/SMUT
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Typically, you weren’t the jealous type, pretty content with ‘no strings attached’ type relationships. But there was something about your current fuck-buddy, Toji, that brought the green-eyed monster out of you. 
You couldn’t help the twitch of your eye as you read the text from him, stating he wouldn’t be able to come over due to ‘business’. That always meant he was with one of his other girls, too busy to give you the time of day. Admittedly, his reputation proceeded him, you knew this was typical of him way before your arrangement - but you had also assumed you’d treat him like any of your other ‘side pieces’. 
However, after the first month, you noticed yourself dropping each of your hoes one by one, until you were left with no one but Toji. While you liked to deny this was intentional, deep down you knew you enjoyed his company far more than you’d care to admit.
‘Toji, please?’ Embarrassed, you find yourself sending a clearly desperate response, one you couldn’t have possibly justified a month ago. Eagerly you waited for his response, checking way too often for your phone to light up with a response. 
Read…he left you on read. 
With a deep sigh, you accept his rejection, in no state to want to humiliate yourself any further. But still, you could barely ignore the ache between your legs, the one you knew only he could soothe. Getting up from your bed, you head to your shower, hoping to wash the disparity down the drain along with the rest of your thoughts and concerns. 
A sigh of relief pours from your parted lips as the warm water trickles down your back, hitting your skin at just the right temperature. The pattering sound of water to the floor filled your ears, so much you failed to hear the intruder letting themselves in. Normally would’ve recognised the sound of your front door unlocking, and the heavy steps padding straight to your bedroom. But you didn’t, managing to enjoy your soak before returning to the very room that he was in.
“Toji?” You gasped, clutching your towel in shock. 
There he sat, burly figure splayed comfortably atop your bedsheets. Toned arms cradled the back of his head, dark hooded eyes following your smaller frame as it approached him. “Hey, doll.” The scar on his lip stretched as his face morphed, a sly expression gracing his features. 
“Hi...” You would hate to let him know it, but you were so glad to see him. Just his presence warmed your insides, feeling giddy like a child on Christmas. From the get go, there was nothing Toji had that your other ‘friends’ didn’t, he was just a pretty face to you for a long time. But, as of late, you had come to appreciate not only the way he fucked you, but the way he was so subtly attentive. 
“Come on gorgeous girl, get here.” He nodded you over, propping himself up and making room for you. Dropping your towel, you almost break a sprint to get to his side. Maybe too quickly. Little did you know you were running straight to your demise.
Big hands immediately wrapped around your neck, squeezing with such wrath you thought you would pass out. Toji flipped you beneath him with ease, stocky body towering above your own. “Fucking slut…” He spat, literally, the warm liquid causing you to screw your eyes shut. “Couldn’t wait another day…now I’ve got an angry client.” 
Toji called all his girl’s ‘clients’, although, deep down you hoped he didn’t see you as one of them. “I’m s-so sorry, so sorry.” You cough, batting your eyes open as his spit dried on your face. As filthy as it sounded, the way his grip pulsed around your neck, and the warmth of his fluids on your skin was arousing. The ache between your thighs returning from earlier. 
“You better be fucking sorry.” Toji hissed, loosening his grip on your throat. Coughing and spluttering underneath him, Toji couldn’t help but smile, making the most of the sight beneath him. Honestly, he wasn’t all that mad, if anything relieved that you’d double-texted. He didn’t want that other girl anyway, in all honesty, he’d been craving you. His desires were only reaffirmed as he watched you take his brutality, seemingly with joy. To confirm, he slotted his knee between your thighs, revelling in how you whined at the minimal contact. “Such a pretty girl…” He exhaled. 
Toji’s praise went straight to your cunt, paired with the sensation of his knee against your buzzing clit, you were encouraged to grind against him. “Awe…so desperate, been wanting me that bad hmm?” Usually, you would fight back, maybe even mocking him, but you had longed so hard for this. 
“Mhm…so much, please,m-more…” Breathy whines slipped from your lips, feeling discontented by his lack of touch. Usually, he’d be ravenous by now, kissing, biting and sucking on every inch of your skin, however, he was uncharacteristically reserved this time. “Please Toji…I-I need you…so bad!” 
Your moans did not fall on deaf ears, if anything they only threatened his stoicism. Toji loved how needy you were without him doing much, lustful eyes wanting to eat you up in this state. 
“Nasty girl…demanding I come here, and now you’re demanding I touch you?” He scoffed, forcing his knee harder against your core, watching as your dampness discoloured his grey sweats. “So so messy.” He hissed, feeling his cock twitch at the sight. 
“ ‘M-m so so sorry Toji, sorry sir…” 
“That’s okay gorgeous girl, I know you can’t help it.” He scoffed, his cockiness irritating you. 
Reverting his eyes back to yours, he brought his face closer, stopping at a mere breath away. Teasingly, his lips lingered above yours, forcing you to hold your breath in anticipation. Clearly this was a distraction tactic, you didn’t notice him taking his pulsing cock out of his boxers until it slapped against your dripping cunt. Mouth falling open, you watch Toji’s lips form a satisfied smirk, lapping up your pornographic expression. 
“Use it…come on, show me how bad you wanted my dick.” He taunts, grabbing your wrist and bringing it to his tip.
Nodding eagerly, your hand grips just below his leaky head, stroking up and down his shaft. You can’t help but gasp with him, when his jaw slackens, enjoying the sensation of you jacking him off. “Come on…don’t you want to put it in?” He encourages you between subtle grunts, dark eyes locking with yours. 
Bringing his tip to your fluttering entrance, you guide it into your entrance, eyes squeezing shut as his sheer girth tore your insides apart. “That’s it.. good fucking girl.” He cooed, kissing your cheek tenderly as you bucked your hips up into him, pushing him further and further into you. This kindness was not typical of Toji, but you found it encouraging nonetheless. 
Toji’s arms suddenly wrapped around your waist, pulling you up and onto his lap, cock forced further into your tight hole. “F-fuck Toji!” You scream, walls spasming around him. Suddenly it was so much harder to move, feeling oh-so-very full in this new position. Chest to chest, you struggle to regain composure.
“You can do it, fuck yourself on my cock.” Lips kissing the shell of your ear, he whispers encouragement and praise. Each word caused your walls to squeeze and milk his cock for all it was worth. “Good fucking slut, you like when I’m nice to you?”
Bringing your hips up and down, you decide to answer him by increasing your pace, bouncing against his thighs, balls slapping against you harshly. Mutters of curses and grunts filled your ears, causing your clit to throb, begging for his touch. 
Grabbing one of his hands, you bring it between you, hoping he’d take the hint. “Uh-uh…you can do it yourself.” He hissed, eyes barely open as he struggled to resist the urge to fuck into you. 
Too dazed to fight back, you bring your fingers to your sensitive bud, mindlessly pinching and rolling it between your fingers. As you leant back, Toji’s hand wrapped around your waist, supporting and holding you in just the right position to allow a perfect view of you bouncing on his cock, playing with yourself so obediently. “Such a whore…” He groaned, “So cock drunk…you’d do anything to have me fuck you, hm?”
“Mmm y-yes To-oji, anything.” You nodded, words split up by each collision of your hips to his. 
“That’s right…my fucking slut.”
His? That was all you needed to feel your stomach begin to twist and turn, a sign of your orgasm. 
“Come on baby…c-cum f’me.” He groaned, head thrown back as your cunt squeezed and pulsed around his length. “So tight…such a good girl…” Toji continued to ramble, praising you through your high. 
With a final rub of your clit, you felt your legs spasm, eyes rolling back and body arching into his chest. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You screamed, biting down on Toji’s shoulder as your orgasm rippled through your body, almost completely winding you. “That’s it, you did so well doll.” He praised, kissing the side of your neck before his hands harshly gripped your hips. 
Before you could even protest, Toji was brutally slamming you down on his still fully erect dick. “T-Toji…wait! Wait!” Grabbing his wrists, you fight to pull him off of you, but its no use. The overstimulation was just as unbearable as it was pleasurable. As much as you were acting like it was too much, you couldn’t help but simultaneously push down to meet his thrusts.  
“Shut up and take it bitch, you asked for my cock, now take it.” His jaw was clenched tight, grip on your hips almost bruising as he used your overstimulated hole. “Look at me, I want to see that fucked out face of yours.” He demanded, so when you didn’t he was beyond angry. 
Releasing his grip on one of your hips, he brought his hand to your jaw, forcing you to make eye contact. “I said, look at me.” Toji’s glare was mean, so intense it made your cunt pulse and squeeze around him. 
“Fucking bitch…” He jeered, letting go of your face only to bring a sharp slap to your cheek. “Begged me to come help you, and now you’re ignoring me?”
“I-I’m so-sorry Toji.” Whimpering, you felt the tingling sensation spread across your face, warm and sharp. This almost mirrored the stinging sensation of his hips repeatedly smashing into yours, leaving your ass red from the impact.
“Keep-telling-me-how-sorry-you-are!” He groaned, each word emphasised by a thrust. 
“S-so sorry, I’m so soo sorry.” Over and over again you apologised, to the point they became mindless babbles, sandwiched between moans of his name and curses. 
Feeling his own high approaching, Toji brought his thumb to your clint, messy juices making his fingers prune. “Cum with me baby…I k-know you can!” Grunting, he applied tantalising pressure to your cunt, arousal dripping into his lap. “That's a good girl, come on.” 
As Toji egged on your oncoming arousal, so did his cock, over and over again hitting deep. Now with each thrust, he was perfectly reaching that sensitive spot, milking the lewdest of sounds from you, sounding almost incoherent as you warned him of your second orgasm. 
“Oh fuck…there she is, good fucking girl.” His own groans became more uneven as his pace lost its rhythm, sloppily bringing himself to his own high. His dick twitched and pulsed inside you, balls tensing as his orgasm washed over him, ropes of cum being fucked into you repeatedly.
“This is what you w-wanted right? To be fucked full of my cum?” Cursing, he road out his high, swallowing the sound of your overstimulated whimpers, guiding him to his end. Finally, his pace slowed to a stop, cock still plugging his warm cum inside your walls. Delicately now, his hands rubbed up your sides, caressing your skin. Silently, he pressed gentle kissed across your face and shoulders, showing his appreciation in the way he knew best. 
“Thank you, Toji.” 
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risuola · 4 months
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ENTRY #13 ♡ F. READER X GOJO SATORU // How much I appreciate you I only know when I lose you.
contents: arranged marriage!au, little post-argument scenario, just a hint of hurt and lots of comfort — wc. 974
a/n: experimenting continue, I like the slight change in writing and uhhh... will there be a second post to the series today because I can't wait any longer to post the nsfw part? yeah, probably. maybe tomorrow if I have enough self-restraint.
series masterlist
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When Satoru enters the bedroom, you’re already there. It’s late, nearly midnight, but you’re up, in the dim, yellow-ish lights of your nightstand lamp, you seem distant. With some papers spread and open, you’re on your side, your back facing the middle of the bed — facing him, and he sighs at the sound of silence, at the lack of your reaction to his presence. It’s in the moments like this when he appreciates the smiles you always offer him, the softness of your voice whenever you greet him, the sparkle in your eyes as you look at him. It’s true that one learns to value a thing the moment it’s gone.
So he puts down his glasses, careful to not make it too loud and he offers a “hey” as he’s sitting down on his side of the mattress. He studies your frame, the curve of your hip and waist, your tensed shoulders, the way one of your hands support your head as you read; the sound of pages rustling is the only thing that fills the room. He hears you exhaling a little deeper, a little longer and he knows you’re not going to wish him goodnight.
Satoru lets out a huff of air out of his lungs and decides to be stubborn. He knows it’s justified, the way you’re acting — that day began with a fight and he said a little too much, a little too loud, then left the house, left you. He hates the way he acted, it’s been a while since you last had an argument and it didn’t feel good. It haunted him all day, you were all his thoughts and he struggled to focus on anything of his own knowing you were out in the field. He’s sent you a message earlier, he has sent few of them, but you left him on read — and that was enough to tell him that you’re alive and well enough to check your phone. But he missed your voice and the cheesy emojis you always use when texting him. The day felt incomplete without the blue hearts on his screen, the ones you liked the most because they had a color of his eyes.
He gets on the bed and leans towards you, lowering himself enough to nuzzle his face to your lower back as his arm snakes around you. He feels you tense for a split second but you do nothing to push him away and he takes it as a yes. Satoru breathes you in, takes in the scent of your skin, kisses you tenderly, pressing his lips right next to the little dimples above your bottom. You feel the warmth spreading from his touch and reaching the very tips of your body and it feels soothing. It feels like you’re finally home.
Your sleeping top rides up under his ministrations, exposing your hip and your husband is quick to cover area with little kisses. He moves up, resting his head at the dip of your waist as his hand is tracing idle circles onto the silky flesh of your side. You sigh again, putting down the papers. You couldn’t focus on them anyway, not when his eyes are drawing you in.
“Satoru…”
“I know sweet cheeks, I messed up,” he admits and you close your eyes. The argument from the morning has been weighing you down and it surprised you how quickly you got used to spending good time with Satoru, forgetting how bumpy the ride was when you were straight out of the altar. Then it was your daily, then you fought more than talked normally and you never thought too much of those arguments after they happened. Then, you didn’t care. But now you do. Now, as the feelings between you and him are growing stronger and stronger, you do care. A lot.
“I messed up too,” you say and he moves again. His hand swiftly gathers all the documents you had spread out and pushes them off the bed and onto the nightstand. You twist your torso and he’s above you, his lips on your neck and he nips at your skin. It’s gentle, it’s intimate, it’s warm. You love his kisses.
Satoru is all or nothing when it comes to intimacy, and with you, he’s all in. He kisses you in ways that have your breath hitching, your heart beating faster, your face feeling hotter. He kisses like he’s savoring you, like you’re a dessert he’s been waiting for his entire life. Even the gentlest pecks convey so much passion, he’s slow about them, allowing his lips to meet your skin properly. He tastes you, breathes you in. And he loves to keep you close while doing it. His hands tend to plant themselves on your waist, wrap around your back, hold the nape of your neck. His hands like to wander, to explore. He has to touch you, he needs the skin-on-skin contact, he craves it more than he craves air and you love that in him. You love how he opened to you, stripped himself off the infinity and allowed you in.
Gojo pulls you closer, until there’s no space left between you and his chest. He rests finally, melting against the mattress as he cradles you in his arms and you can feel the tension leaving his body — and yours does too.
“I’m sorry, I hate to see you upset,” he says finally, his mouth against the top of your head and you hum, inhaling him in, with your nose buried into his chest. Your fingers paint gentle patterns on his bare back and you kiss his skin. “I didn’t mean to cause a fight and I didn’t mean to say what I said.”
“I know, Toru,” you reply, closing your eyes. “I’m sorry too.”
“Sleep well wifey.”
“Goodnight, baby.”
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taglist: @kinny-away @anan-baban @lotomber @netflix-imagines @kawliflo @nishloves @ghostfacefricker6969 @thejujvtsupost @yozora7154 @cherrycolabarbedwirebedpost @stuckinmoilalaland @ae-mius @ropickle @chokesonspit @lansy-4 @mo0sin @just-pure-trash @foliea @bakarinnie @big-booty-joe @fortunatelyfurrygiver @lolita-h
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idesofrevolution · 3 months
Text
Quality Time
*PING* Rocco looked down and smiles. He'd been wondering what Carlo and their father had been up to for the past week. Ever since their mother left a couple of years back, their father had been relatively distant- choosing to spend his hours away from the office at the gym instead of at home with his sons. To be fair, Rocco had left the house at 18, and now at 24 he wasn't home as often as he'd hoped. Nonetheless, it took both boys by shock when their relatively distant father decided to take a month off of work to spend some "quality time" with his sons. Carlo got the first two weeks, and Rocco would have the second. What they were in for, their father wouldn't say.
Hey, Roc. Dad wants us all to meet up tonight. We're at the gym on Broad Street, meet us there in 30 minutes.
The text was odd, definitely different than the normally chipper tone his brother is known for having. There wasn't even a single emoji... Rocco had hoped that everything would go well, but from the curtness of Carlo's message, it wasn't looking good. He sighed, walking his lanky ass over to the closet and throwing on some clothes, wasting no time making the 20 minute walk down to Broad street. The dim neon glow of the Planet Jacked sign illuminated the front of the strip mall; at 9PM on a Wednesday, the gym was the only business open compared to the vacant suites and GameStop next door.
Rocco pulled open the door, pulling out his phone to text Carlo that he'd arrived. The response was immediate:
In the kettlebell room. Hurry up.
Something did feel off, but Rocco had dismissed it as an irritated Carlo trying to pawn their gruff and macho dad off on him. Neither were "manly men" by their father's standards, not that he'd ever treated them poorly by any means. It just meant that they had little to nigh in common with eachother, and little to build a very "buddy buddy" relationship on. But, at least he was making an effort.
Rocco made his way through the gym floor, weaving through benches and weight machines to the double glass doors that houses the calisthenics room. He pushed open the door, and walked inside. Right off the bat, his suspicions that something was off were proven to be justified as he saw his brother flexing in the mirror. Or at least, he thought it was his brother. The man had Carlo's likeness: his short stature, his green eyes, the black and green headphones... but this was not his brother.
Carlo was easily 100 lbs of muscle heavier than when he'd left with their father on Monday morning. His hair was buzzed short, his formerly friendly face now scowled an aggressive smoulder, his arms and legs were bursting with hard muscle. Compared to the 5'2" skinny 19 year old Rocco had known, this man might as well have been a stranger.
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"Get my bag over there, gotta shower and change." His voice was harsh, gruff... as if he'd smoked eight cigars before working out. He remained flexing in the mirror, as Rocco stood there gobsmacked. His eyes quickly shifted from his physique to his brother standing perplexed at the door. "You gonna sit and stare or are we gonna get going?" Rocco slowly walked over to Carlo's gym bag, picking it up and straining to shlep it over his shoulder. "Jesus, Roc. We've got to get you into the gym. C'mon, let's go." Carlo turned and walked out of the room, with Rocco hastening to meet his pace.
"Uh, Carlo... Did you... take something? I mean, I'm not accusing you of anything, but how did you..."
"Get this fuckin' jacked? Dad helped out a bit." Outside of Rocco's eyesight, Carlo smirked devilishly. He sneered, hocking a mouthful of spit onto the garbage can. Rocco nearly dropped the bag and bolted. This couldn't be the sweet, naive little brother he'd grown up with. If anything, he was acting more like their father than himself. As they entered the locker room, Carlo stopped at the mirror again, pinching his chin as if he were checking himself out in the mirror. "Yeah, Dad was saying he wanted me to try some pussy this week, and that girls liked a guy with guns. Heh, it worked." He flexed his massive arms, the putrid scent of heavy unwashed musk wafted from his pits as he did. Rocco pinched his nose, dropping the gym bag onto the bench.
"Since when have you been interested in girls?" Rocco spoke with genuine concern in his voice. Carlo had been an out and proud gay man for years now. Their father never understood it, but it never really bothered him any. To him, as long as his sons were 'getting some' then all was well. But this, combined with Carlo's inflated ego and body...
"Since I felt like it. Thought I'd give breedin' a try. After six girls this week, I'm tuckered out." Carlo sauntered toward the shower stalls, tossing his hat and headphones to his brother before turning to face him. "Dad will be here in a minute, just wait here." With that, he walked into the stall, and Rocco could hear the water starting to flow. He fell backward onto the bench, awestruck. Turning to the bag, Rocco imagined vials and vials of steroids and testosterone hiding within. It was the only logical explanation. Taking a deep breath, he slowly unzipped the bag, and ripped the top open to reveal:
Nothing. Carlos' normal street clothes, albeit a bit stretched out now, and an empty shaker bottle. No drugs, no syringes, nothing incriminating whatsoever. Whatever had happened to him, it wasn't due to roid rage.
"NNNNUGUUHHHH" Carlo's voice echoed in the empty locker room over the sound of the showerhead. Rocco stood up quickly, darting toward the shower stalls. Before he could ask if his brother was okay, the noises began. Wet noises- unaffiliated with the running shower. Rocco slowly crept closer, and the sounds had become clearer. Slimy schlorps and squelches combined with Carlo's moans of seeming pleasure. Was he fucking a pocket pussy? Surely not, he assumed, though in the back of his mind, the brother he'd seen was not the Carlo he knew. "uuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNAGHHHHHH!" One final moan and a rubbery slurp, and the room was silent again.
Rocco quickly rushed to the end stall, ready to rip the white curtain open, only for it to open on it's own: revealing the hulking figure of his father. The shock was palpable, as thick as the steam in the air. His father towered above him, as he always did, a massive slab of hard meat with a face. Sweat dripped from every part of his hulking body, and his face was already plastered with a surprised expression. As if he weren't expecting Rocco to see him yet.
"Dad... Is Carlo oka..." Suddenly, in the corner of his eye, he saw his brother slumped over on the shower seat, passed out under the hot streams of water: still in the shorts and running shoes he'd been wearing moments ago. His muscled body could barely bend at the waist, so his limp torso sat at a slight angle to the rest of his body. Rocco turned to his father, whose expression hadn't yet changed.
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"I said I'd be there in a minute, Roc." The limber young man tried to rush to his passed out brother, only for the iron grip of his father to stop him in his tracks. "He'll be fine. He'll wake up just the way you know him, with a couple of extra pounds. Don't you worry."
"Dad, what the fuck is going on?" Rocco shouted at his father, whose brows began to furrow. The hulking man grabbed the white curtain, shutting it behind his son. Slowly the look of shock turned to one of seriousness, and a twinge of nervousness shot down Rocco's spine.
"I'm on vacation, Roc. With my boy. And now it's your turn to spend some time with your old man." Rocco took a step back, confused and anxious. "You're what, 24 now? Let me tell you something, Roc. When you hit 50, it doesn't matter if you're the sexiest god damn man alive- women just don't look at you the same. They take one look at you and see a stacked old man. They look at you like you're disgusting, Roc. I just wanted things to be the way they used to, when I was your age." Another step backward, and Rocco felt himself pinned against the wall. "It doesn't hurt. Carlo said it felt damn good. He'll wake up feelin' like a million bucks and go right back to sticking that greasy pole into some man ass. Might even be better than before. But you..." His father leaned in against the wall, the wafting stench of his BO encircling the two. "You swing both ways. So will you do your pop a favor, Roc?" Rocco swallowed his spit, as his father leaned in until they stood inches from eacother, eye to eye.
"W... What kind of favor?"
"Let me be young again. Just for a couple weeks. I'll hop back in Carlo if things get out of hand, he's already said he's good with it. Let your old man take you for a spin, show you how I used to do it back in the day. Then at the end of the month, I hop right out. Deal?" His father stuck his hand out, waiting for him to accept this insane deal. Rocco turned to his brother, slowly coming back to consciousness.
"... One week. And if you don't fuck things up, I'll think about the other two." His father smiled as Rocco shook his hand in agreement.
"Turn around, boy. And just take some deep breaths." Rocco did as he was told, slowly turning around and placing his hand onto the brown tiled wall. He could hear Carlo coming to, and hearing the wet clap of his father's hands rubbing together. "Alright, boy. It's gonna be tight, deep breath!" Rocco took a slow inhale, feeling a strange tingling sensation as he felt his father's hands on his bony shoulderblades. As he exhaled, he could feel the calloused hands slowly sink into his back. "Ohhhh, fuck." His father's gravelly bass voice growled in the cavernous room, soaring above the wet schlorps of his huge arms slowly sinking deeper into his son. Rocco watched as his father's hands appeared beneath the skin of his arms, the outline of his fingers sliding down his biceps and forearms was quickly followed by the sounds of rubbery creaks as his father's considerable muscles slid into his own. Bones cracked and skin stretched as powerful biceps and firm forearms swelled with the invasion, as his father's hands slipped into his own like two tight gloves. His meaty fingers cracked under their own volition, as his father flexed his new triceps.
"Da... Dad? Oh fuck, Roc! It's your turn now, huh, bro?" Carlo's chipper voice cut through the wet sloshing as his father stepped forward, shoving his huge sweaty feet forward into Rocco's heels, immediately swelling to fit his size 14 boats. His father's ripe foot sweat started to pour from his soles while his calves started to sink in as well. "Feels great, right? I mean look at me? Dad promised a rockin' bod, and I mean, fuck! What guy is gonna turn me down now?" Rocco continued his deep breaths, trying to ignore his brother's bizarrely normal demeanor.
"Boy, you remember what your dad taught you. Take control, and fuck hard. They'll be beggin' for that cock." As the words left his father's mouth, he thrust his groin against Rocco's rear, letting his son's skin wrap around his thick ass as he slid his beer can dick into the sheath of his boy's- quickly swelling thick and musky as his balls grew into the size of clementines.
"Roc, just wait. Dad's gonna take good care of you. We're closer than ever, right pop?" His father's hard, hairy torso sank quickly into Rocco, his back expanding as his body fully enveloped his father up to their necks. Massive, juicy pecs and washboard abs pressed against his taut skin, and sputterings of the old man's hair started to sprout across his legs, arms, and chest. Rocco looked down at his massive body, no longer under his control, inflated with his father's stature. He could feel the scratchy scruff of the old man's beard against the nape of his neck.
"Alright, boy. Let me just slide..." He felt his father's nose press against the back of his head, and as it sank in, his vision became fuzzy. "Right..." His neck bulged and stretched, his jaw clenched and sharpened. "On..." His hair grew thick and messy, his eyebrows fuller and lower. As the last of his head was swallowed by the back of Rocco's head, a final crack of his neck and a slow exhale signaled that Rocco had already sank into the recesses of his mind. Facial hair sprouted across his chiseled jawline, as he smiled his pearly white teeth. "In." His father's gravelly tone now bellowed deep from within. He pushed himself off the wall, stretching his now 6'3" body, dripping in his old man's fragrant sweat. Turning to Carlo, he raised his eyebrow.
"Alright, boy. Let's go get some ass."
---
"Yeah, this is my brother's place, we'll be alone here. Don't you worry!" Carlo led the couple into Rocco's apartment, the boyfriend ogling his juicy ass as they walked inside. "Yeah, he's in the other room. This way." Carlo smiled as he threw his arm around the duo, the woman blushing as she turned to him.
"You sure he's down for this?" Carlo only smirked as he opened the door to the bedroom, revealing 'Rocco' in all his glory, swiping through the endless supply of thirsty messages on his Taimi. The couple's jaws dropped at the very sight of him, fresh from the gym, smelling of a locker room right after a basketball tournament.
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"Oh wow... Uh, Hi there... I'm Victoria and this is Ollie..." 'Rocco' barely looked up from his phone, picking up his ripe gym shoe and socks, and tossing them to Ollie.
"Sniff, boy. When you're done with that, you can do the same for my brother." The boyfriend eagerly started to huff the stinking sock, moaning in pleasure as he did. "And you..." He put his phone down onto the table, turning to Victoria with a wry smirk. "Come show daddy some love."
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todomochi-uwu · 10 months
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Who (1/?) -J.Y & S.M
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Pairing: Poly! Jeong Yunho x reader x Song Mingi
Genre: Angst, Smut
Warnings: This content is for a mature audience
Synopsis: You can't remember when was the last time you spent time with them, the last "I love you", the last time any of them kissed you.
Other chapters: Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
If you enjoy my work, please consider buying me a coffee ☕
"Mingi, please. I think we should talk; I don't feel good and…" He was quick to cut you off.
"Y/n not right now, I'm tired."
You are always tired these days…
"Yunho, love do you want to go out and check out that new cafeteria? I heard they have…" He was quick to cut you off.
"Y/n not right now, I'm busy."
You are always busy these days...
Things haven't been the same in a while, always in a rush, always in a mood. You can't remember when was the last time you spent time with them, the last "I love you", the last time any of them kissed you. It was a type of routine you had grown accustomed to, and even if it was killing you inside, the idea of being without them was way worse than the pain of their neglect. Cold, endless nights laying in a bed that was way too big for you; tasteless dinner plates that would end up in the trashcan or at the back of the fridge rotting. A home that was crumbling from its foundations, one that you had so desperately tried to patch up and fix by yourself. But in the end, you just had to face the cruel reality, that they don't care. You were not a priority; your relationship was at the bottom of their list.
That's how you ended up at Chan's apartment, in the middle of the night, with so much as your phone in your pocket and your heart in your hand.  He had been your main support the last weeks, anything you wanted, anything you needed, no questions asked. Whenever you woke up crying, whenever you broke down in the middle of the day, Chan was always there to comfort you. And so, you laid there, in his chest, the aftermath of a movie night in which you had only cried twice, an important milestone.
The constant buzzing in the pocket of your pyjamas was making it quite hard for you to continue sleeping. You knew exactly who dared bother you so late at night, it had been the same callers every single night for the past month.
"Don't answer it." Chan's groggy voice filled your ears. He was right. You declined the call and turned off your phone.
But said-call had already done its job, you couldn't stop thinking about the phone, well the people behind it. Your phone was full of texts and missed calls, eight people behind them, because their friends were loyal like that.
They are so sorry.
Please talk to them.
Yunho is drowning himself in work.
Mingi doesn't even talk to us.
Funny it is. A few weeks ago, it seemed they could live perfectly fine without you; they could go on with their day without even glancing your way. You gave them every single piece of your being just to get crumbles in return. But at the same time, your heart is weak, it can’t help but break every time you read one of their texts, wondering if they miss you that much, if they are sorry, if maybe, just maybe, you should go back.
“Y/n… you are overthinking again.” Bang Chan said, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“I know, I just feel bad, Chan. Maybe I overreacted, maybe if I tried a bit harder to talk to them…” There you were again, trying to justify their actions. Chan gave you the same stern look he had been giving you for weeks, every time you blamed yourself.
He got up, not mentioning the subject anymore. Tired of going on about the same subject, “Hey, are you hungry? I can make you something or we can order in.”
It would be a lie to say you were not enjoying Chan’s presence. Having someone to talk to, someone to have a meal with, even someone who sits next to you without being on their phone or computer, you miss not feeling alone. And even though you were heartbroken, you felt warm on the inside.
-------------------------------------------------------
While you might be doing somewhat okay, the other parts of your relationship were not. The house was in complete silence, no matter the hour, no matter the day, no one would dare say a word, their mouths too busy sobbing every single time they remembered their sins, taking you for granted, neglecting you, breaking you.
Yunho would keep himself busy at the hospital, the idea of going back to a broken home simply made him nauseous, and even if the lack of food and the stress were killing him, he much rather endure that than face the harsh truth. Mingi wasn’t any better, endless nights spent in the office, acting as if he was reviewing cases, but the reality was that he just wanted a place to cry without anyone noticing him. Even the love between them was running cold. Fight after fight, they spat cruel words and thoughts trying to get all the hurt and anger out of their chests, blaming themselves, blaming each other. How did they not notice things were so wrong? How could they let things get so wrong?
“Oh, don’t act as if I'm the only one who wasn’t here, you slept at the office almost every day. I came home late, but you didn’t even come at all.” Yunho said, venom in his voice and a glass of whiskey in his hand.
Mingi scratched his forehead in frustration, he could feel the bile going up his throat. “Forgive me for trying to pay the bills, someone has to pay for the house, the student loans, the fucking food that’s on the table.”
“Fuck off, don’t you dare say I’m not bringing any money. Besides, you know that this is temporary while I finish my residency…”
And there the cycle began once again, a screaming match of arguments that never went anywhere, masking the true cause of their pain. Tears ran down their faces, their voices broke down more and more with each word they let out, Yunho's body trembled so much it hurt, while Mingi’s chest felt as if it was about to explode.
“I’m not okay, Yunho.” It was the first time any of them said it out loud, his voice was much raspier and heavier than the usual one.
“I'm not either, Mingi.” He whispered, fearing he would break down even more if he admitted it much louder.
“She left three weeks ago.”
Yunho could only nod.
“She’s not coming back, is she?”
“I don’t know, Mingi.”
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thatbitchery · 9 months
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Unlearn the dumb idea that inflicted pain justifies your reaction to it. It doesn't. Ladies elite women make it because we have a level of stoicism that borders on sociopathic apathy, exhibit A: we don't react to triggers we mimosa, sleep, see if it's worth it then logically make decisions. The idea that when someone does you dirty you have the right to react based on emotions so you're angry mad throwing names & hands sending texts talking sheet & other loser girl things is dumb dumb. You're not justified to react. 'They did me wrong' . So? Sit down, watch Netflix, wait for the emotions to pass then use the head God so generously gave you + that pretty face bonus.
When you react to people doing you wrong you give them the permission to bypass their actions & focus on your reaction so if your bf cheats on you & you start screaming sending 1b texts making titktoks he can bypass his cheating & focus on you're immature you're abusive why did you hit me you're mentally unstable you throw things around bla bla & will never face what he did. When we say be non reactive we aren't asking you to be a stone we are asking you to be smart. Do you want to get manipulated? Abused? Sit down get a manicure & go for brunch. Run to your room scream cry anhiliate your pillow but when they're watching its Elsa Lite, froooozen ice queen don't let them in don't let them see, ever.
One tactic m3n use in divorce court is to get the lady so triggered she loses her cool then it's look at her could you live with that? I'm taking my child this is an abusive woman & men don't leave relationships they just trigger you into irrational behavior and use that as an excuse & crying is worse what did we say about public vulnerability? Go cry to your bestie and God in your house out here tears are a sign to bully you. When you're not reactive you throw THEM out of balance and you hold the cards, once you go 'right to my opinion I'm the victim' we'll find you a grave bc that's called social suicideeee.
Two friends. Real life story here, ladies. Ah high-school back in the good old days.
We call them Allie and Sara. High school circles were tight so you're friends with someone you're also friends with their bfs, right? Alice & Sara both got cheated on (by m3n looking like area 9 failed experiment Shrek cosplayers but that's not thepoint). The bfs know that they were discovered. Allie, Allie is that girl. Drama girl. Find him in cafeteria & make a scene girl. How could you cheat on me you suck your pp is short anyway bla bla watch me devalue myself. Allie feels good in the moment, her bf leaves and tell his friends of course i cheated that girl is crazy. Would you date someone like her? So immature. Women are so ovarical I can't handle it. Evening the story is- she was abusive. She hit him & threw words in public imagine in private? He's been protecting her in silence, you know women can be abusive too.
Sara, Sara my love. Sara sits next to her Shrek Lite boy and says hey so that girl you kissed, Jane was it? She's pretty. You have taste. End of story. After lunch her Human experiment failure boy says let's talk she says sure abd listens with 'mhm' and nods. She meant nothing babe she seduced me I'm an adolescent what can I do bla bla. She nods says okay and goes to class. Days goes as usual. Evening we get dinner , Weekend we do research for our papers & talk college. Is she talking to him? Yes. Painfully polite, painfully. No emojis no nothing just shallow dry polite texts. Let's talk about this babe- is left on blue ticks. Monday morning her factory reject lookalike is losing his mind, she's being painfully polite, in a shallow way, so he resorts to triggering. It's because you're like this you are like a man and I'm straight I need a woman bla bla. She says OK then turns to the next person & did you hear about the trip to the beach? Of course I'm going. Boy realizes that's not working & resorts to Allie behavior- throw a tantrum in public make yourself the victim why won't you give me the pleasure of being the one to push you to your edge? Sara says babe pull yourself together you're embarrassing your family. Do you need your anxiety meds? My therapist is good she can treat hysteria are you okay? No this isn't like you, this is hysteria babe do you need psychological help? No this isn't normal , hey do you guys think it's normal to do this? I'm calling your mom babe we are getting you a mental check hold up-
Heres a little secret. In private? In our dorms? Sara was BAWLING her eyes out. Chocolates & Styrofoam cups. We are talking 3am on the bathroom floor. In public?
Guess who won.
Unlearn the idea that you're entitled to reacting to others actions to you, you're not. Learn to hold your tongue and tears and smile and Elsa don't let then in don't let them see then call mom and spend the rest of the week in her arms crying. The amount of women I've seen triggered out of their jobs, marriages, houses, parenting &c when they were 10000% the victim from lack of emotional intelligence is unforgivable.
Dont, be dumb. Don't let yourself think you have the freedom of expression, you don't. Not in the way you want to. Go write a poem but remember everything you say can and will, in fact, be used against you.
Non reaction is the highest level of power in existence. Mind over body. Logic over emotion.
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fxoye · 21 days
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i'm honestly at a loss right now. like... what even is happening on the SNW star trek reddit thread?
i know i shouldn't be surprised at this point, but the level of pushback and dismissal when it comes to even the mere possibility of spock being queer is just... baffling.
like, i get that reddit has its share of toxicity and closed-mindedness, but for some reason i thought the star trek fandom would be a bit more evolved, you know? this is literally a franchise that has always been about inclusivity, diversity, and pushing social boundaries. and yet here we are, in 2024, still having to justify the basic idea that hey, maybe the character with a decades-long history of queer subtext and coding could, in fact, be queer.
it's just wild to me that this is even a debate. like, i'm sorry, but the idea of kirk and spock's relationship having homoerotic undertones is not some fringe tumblr headcanon - it has been acknowledged and explored by literal cast members, writers, and even gene roddenberry himself. the term "slash" in fanfiction comes from kirk/spock stories, for crying out loud. this is not new!
and yet we have people in that reddit thread acting like the mere suggestion of a queer spock is some sort of sacrilegious retcon that would ruin the character forever. as if spock's entire 50+ year history would be erased if he so much as looked at a man with anything other than heterosexual brotherhood.
it's just so frustrating and disheartening to see this level of knee-jerk dismissal and erasure, especially in a fandom that prides itself on being progressive and imaginative. like, we can envision a future with warp drives and aliens and literal magic space gods, but a queer vulcan is a bridge too far? okay then.
and the thing is, no one is even saying that spock is definitively, unquestionably gay, or that every single iteration of his character needs to be explicitly queer. all we're saying is that there is room for that interpretation, and that queer stories have just as much right to be told as any others. but apparently even that is too much for some folks.
it's a reminder that even in supposedly "enlightened" geeky spaces, homophobia and heteronormativity are still alive and well. and it's exhausting, honestly. as a queer trekkie, i'm just so tired of having to constantly justify my existence and fight for scraps of representation.
you know what, i'm gonna say it: the erasure and denial of spock's queer subtext, and specifically the spirk ship, is not just frustrating - it's straight up homophobic.
like, let's look at the facts here. kirk and spock's relationship has been coded as romantic and even erotic since literally the beginning of the franchise. the term "t'hy'la", which has been used to describe their bond, translates to "friend, brother, lover" in vulcan. that's not subtext, that's just... text.
and the evidence just keeps piling up from there. the way spock is the only person who can pull kirk out of his darkest moments, the way they constantly risk their lives and careers for each other, the "this simple feeling" speech in the motion picture... like, come on. even the kelvin timeline movies had scenes of them practically eye-fucking on the bridge.
and don't even get me started on the plethora of literary references that heavily code their relationship as queer. kirk and spock's dynamic has been compared to achilles and patroclus, gilgamesh and enkidu, alexander the great and hephaestion... all classic examples of homoerotic male partnerships. the iconic back-to-back pose from the episode "bread and circuses" is a direct visual reference to the novel "ishmael" by barbara hambly, which depicts a gay romance between two men. (as somebody pointed out; this is not accurate and since i was hazed asf (meds) when i wrote this, can’t remember what literary parallel i was actually trying to draw here. let me dig through my stash of gay literature history and i’ll address this 😭☝️).
these are not coincidences or fan delusions - they are deliberate, well-documented artistic choices layered into the very foundation of kirk and spock's relationship. and the fact that so many people are eager to ignore or downplay them in order to cling to a heteronormative fantasy of male friendship is honestly pretty telling.
and look, i get it. it's easy to claim "they were just best friends" because that's what we've been culturally conditioned to see as the default. but the reality is, intimate male relationships have been historically desexualized and stripped of romantic coding in order to maintain heterosexual norms. the achilles/patroclus model of male love used to be widely understood as having a romantic and even sexual element - it was only in the 19th and 20th centuries that it was aggressively reframed as "platonic friendship" in a textbook example of straightwashing.
so when people insist that kirk and spock's bond could never be anything other than a sexless bromance, they are literally upholding centuries of homophobic revisionism designed to erase queer love from our cultural narratives. and i'm sorry, but that's not something i can get behind as a queer fan.
you cannot look at the overwhelming evidence of kirk and spock's queer subtext, the decades of analysis exploring their relationship through a romantic lens, the undeniable impact and influence of queer interpretations on the very fabric of this fandom... and tell me with a straight face that it's all meaningless or invalid.
kirk/spock walked so that every other slash pairing could run. it is the ur-text of queer shipping in modern fandom. and while it may have started as subtext, it has long since transcended those limitations to become an integral part of star trek's cultural legacy.
but at the end of the day, i know that fandom will always be what we make of it. no amount of downvotes or closed-minded rhetoric can change the fact that queer interpretations of spock have been part of his story since day one, and will continue to be so long as there are lgbtq+ fans who see ourselves in him.
so to my fellow queer trekkies: keep boldly going, keep reading the subtext, keep telling our stories. they can call it illogical all they want - we know the truth. and as a wise vulcan once said: "there's no point in denying the facts of one's nature." 🖖🏳️‍🌈
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isbergillustration · 1 month
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Hey question for you all; is it rude to ask my friend, who is borrowing a bunch of original paintings to style her apartment to sell, if she would put a little thing of my business cards there too? People who can buy apartments have money, right? (Edit she agreed to)
Anyway here is a sketching doodle to justify a text post.
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honeys-hotties · 1 year
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Spilling the Tea
Mapi Leon x fem!Reader
Here it is!!! My first fic in a million years (it def feels like it)! All of the love in the world to all of you reading, I hope you enjoy!
Word Count: 3.7k
My knee bounces up and down uncontrollably as I sit smushed against the window of the bus. I can’t help it. The pre-match nerves always seem to get the better of me, and today is obviously no exception. Today, however, they are much more justified. Today is the Euro quarter-final. Spain vs England. Two superpowers of football going head to head. And I can’t seem to calm myself down.
Lucy reaches over from her spot next to me, and places her large hand on my knee, effectively stopping the bouncing.
“Hey,” she says, looking at me. “I know you’re nervous. We’re all nervous. But all we can do is go onto that pitch today and bring everything we have. You always do that, so you have nothing to worry about.”
I reach down to grasp her hand in mine, overcome by a rush of love for the older woman sitting next to me. Lucy has been my best friend on the England squad (even over my sister Leah, though I would never tell her that), and I genuinely don’t know what I would do without her. Playing for the Chicago Red Stars these past few years have been tough, mainly because I’ve been away from my family and friends for so long. But Lucy always made an effort to call me as often as she could from Barcelona, checking in on me and just being the best friend anyone could ask for.  
“Thanks, Luce.” I say, giving her hand a squeeze.
“Anything for you, Williamson #2” she responds. I yank my hand away from her as she starts laughing. “Awwww, don’t be like that,” she pouts, slinging her arm around my shoulders. “Play nice, or I won’t introduce you to any of my Barca teammates.”
“I’ll take my chances.” I say, jokingly pushing her away. She grips me tighter, and pulls me into her side, laughing.
“Oh, please!” she says. “You’re too in love with half of them to risk an introduction by yours truly!”
My face turns bright red, and I start sputtering, trying to come up with an excuse. Before I can, Ella pipes up from the seat in front of us, turning her entire body around to look at me, with my tomato face and messy hair from Lucy’s wild arms, and Lucy herself who is smirking like the cat who caught the canary.
“I agree with Y/N on this one, some of those Spanish players are FIT” she yells, causing pretty much everyone else to turn and look at us.
“My baby sister thinks who’s fit?” Leah asks from somewhere in front of us. Before I have a chance to try to calm the storm, Ella pipes up again:
“Your “baby sister” is in love with half of Lucy’s Spanish teammates, that’s who. Although, in all honesty, I really can’t blame her. I mean, have you SEEN Alexia? The things I’d let her do… OUCH” Ella trails off, although an elbow courtesy of Alessia, her seatmate, has her breaking out of her daydream. The rest of the bus explodes in laughter, and I bury my face in Lucy’s shoulder.
“What’d you have to go and do that for, Luce?” I whine. She chuckles and pets my hair contentedly. “I mean, was I wrong babes?” she asks. “The number of times you’ve asked me about Mapi alone definitely served as a heads up.” Before I can say anything else, the bus pulls to a stop, and everyone stands up, ready to head off. 
The next few hours pass in a blur of warming up, running drills and strategies, and trying to get everyone into a good mood pre-match. I’m playing DJ, and have my phone hooked up to the locker room speakers while the rest of the girls mess around, waiting for Sarina to tell us what to do. I make my way over to Lucy who is sitting in her cubby with her phone out, furiously typing away. Right as I make my way in front of her, she stands up, grabs my hand, and pulls me out of the locker room and down the hall. 
“What are you doing, Bronze?” I ask her as she takes a couple of turns and speeds up through the hallway.
“Helping you meet your future wife, Williamson” she responds. “I was texting Patri, FYI. Her and a couple of my other teammates wanted to see me before we all end up in the tunnel. Plus, they want to meet this famous bestfriend that I always talk about.”
“I-what? We’re seeing them right now?”
“Yup!” she exclaims, slowing down in front of a door that’s propped slightly open. “Right now. So I suggest you pull yourself together. Keep a clear head before the match and all that. Here,” she hands me the travel mug that had been in her other hand. “Hold this while I call Patri.”
She presses a couple of buttons while I take a sip from her mug. “This is really good, Luce.” I tell her as she puts the phone on speaker, the ringing echoing down the hallway. “I might need you to make me a cuppa when we get back, this is a hundred times better than the hotel drinks.”
Just before the line rings out, the door in front of us opens all the way, and there, right in front of us, stands Patri Guijarro, Claudia Pina, Jenni Hermoso. Ona Batlle, and Mapi Leon. Lucy pockets her phone in favor of greeting her teammates, who rush towards her and form a huge group hug, chattering over each other as Lucy laughs in the middle. They break apart, and Lucy grabs me, pulling me forward towards them. 
“Allow me to introduce my very best friend ever, the one and only Y/N Williamson” she says proudly, pushing me towards them.
“It is nice to finally meet you,” Jenni says, stepping forward to give me a hug. “Lucy talks so much about you we feel as though we already know you!”
Claudia, Patri, and Ona all give me hugs as well, before Mapi pulls me into one of her own. As soon as she wraps her (Insanely strong) arms around me, I feel my face starting to heat up again. I’ve always had a slight crush on Mapi, Lucy definitely got that right, but right now, being held by the taller Spanish woman, I have to keep from pinching myself to make sure this is really happening. Mapi finally lets go (although I wish she wouldn’t), but brings her hands to my waist, looking directly into my eyes. “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while now,” she tells me. “I am so glad that it finally happened.”
“I-I am too,” I say, cursing myself when I stutter slightly. “I only wish it was under better circumstances. Mapi lets her hands trail away from me, staring at me quizzically. 
“These are not good circumstances?” she asks. Oh, God, her accent. Just kill me now, please and thank you.
“Well, yeah,” I smirk. “I just hope things don’t get awkward when we beat you!”
Mapi scoffs. “We’ll see, princesa.”
The Spanish girls laugh, and start talking over each other all at once, before Lucy cuts them off: “Yeah, alright, talk smack after you give me my tea back, Williamson.”
“No, I don’t think I will,” I retort, taking another sip of the mug that has been clutched in my hand. “You’ve already had so much already, Luce!”
“Yeah, ‘cause it’s mine,” she bites back, making grabby hands for the mug. “I’ll make you tea later, but you have to let me finish this now.”
I relent, handing her the mug and turning back to Mapi who has an insanely attractive smirk on her face. “You are not really arguing over a cup of tea, are you?”
I nod, and her smile widens incredulously. “Tea is disgusting!” she exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. “I do not understand you Brits. It is like you have tea running through your veins at this point! When will you realize coffee is infinitely better”
“Hey!” I respond, frowning playfully. “Tea is a million times better than coffee! You can’t even compare them. Besides-” but my rant is cut off by Lucy’s phone ringing loudly through the hallway. I turn to look at her, she looks up with a look of pure pure horror on her face. Wordlessly, she shows me the phone screen, where I see an incoming call from “Captain Lee-Lee” displayed across the screen. Leah must be furious with us for running away, and we both know we’re about to suffer the consequences. Lucy grabs my hand, and we bid the Spanish girls good luck before sprinting back towards our locker room, too fast to see the look filled with longing Mapi sends my way. 
We arrive at the door out of breath and stressed out beyond belief, to find Leah waiting outside, eerily calm. She is dressed in her kit, captain’s armband secured tightly around her bicep. Lucy opens her mouth to explain, but Leah cuts her off. “Go. Now.” she says firmly, pointing towards the locker rooms. I pull Lucy with me into the changing room, passing the rest of the team as we do so. I rush to my cubby, changing out of my warmup gear and into my match kit. I’m pulling my hair up into a ponytail when Tooney sits down in the cubby next to mine. “So…” she starts, wiggling her eyebrows. “Wanna tell me where you and Lucy ran off to?”
“We hooked up with three of the Spanish players” I tell her seriously, and her jaw drops for a second before she swats my arm. 
“You fucking wish, Williamson!” she says, and I roll my eyes. Is she wrong? No. Do I want her to say it? Absolutely not. “We were just saying hi to some of Lucy’s friends, and we lost track of time” I say, pulling the strands of my ponytail into a braid. “That’s all.”
Ella stands up and links her arm through mine as we make our way towards the tunnel, falling into line behind Alessia and Mary. Ella smirks, but knows better than to say anything. This close to the match, all of my energy must be focused on what I can do to play the best. We get to the tunnel, and I take my place behind Lucy. I zone out for a moment, thinking about the plays we had run earlier, but am brought back to reality by a hand on my waist, spinning me to the side. There stands Mapi, a smirk prominent on her face.
“Good luck out there, princesa” she tells me, reaching up to tuck a flyaway behind my ear. 
“You too, tea hater” I tell her. She snorts, and heads back to her team where I see Patri nudge her and start whispering rapidly. Lucy, who had turned around and watched the entire interaction gives me a knowing look before turning back around. 
The first 45 minutes pass in a blur, with both teams scoring. Alessia with a stunning shot, courtesy of an assist from me, and Jenni for the Spanish team with a flawless goal right before the halftime whistle blew. Heading back onto the pitch for the second half, everyone is much more serious. We all know what is at stake, and neither team is willing to go down without a fight. As I bend down to adjust my shin pads right before walking onto the pitch, I feel a large hand on my lower back. I straighten and turn to see Mapi with a smirk on her face. Her hand glides from my back to my waist where she gives me a little squeeze. I feel my face heating up, but fortunately Lucy’s shout distracts me. 
“Let’s go, lovergirl! Flirt on your own time” she yells, coming up behind me and giving me a little push towards the center of the pitch. I swat her shoulder before jogging away from Mapi. Lucy stands in front of the Spanish girl, a smirk on her face. “You like her, don’t you?” Lucy asks the blonde. Mapi nods sheepishly, her cocky attitude gone. “Promise me something,” Lucy says, staring at the Spanish woman. “Don’t hurt her. Don’t treat her like one of your hookups, Mapi. Please. She deserves better than that.” Mapi nods, and the two head to their opposite sides of the pitch. The words echo around Mapi’s head as she takes her place, but the whistle breaks her out of them. Now is not the time, she scolds herself internally, turning her full focus to the match ahead. 
The second half is rough. Both teams know what is on the line, and neither is willing to go down without a fight. Spain makes what looks like a promising run towards our goal in the 80th minute, but Esther loses possession due to a perfectly timed tackle from Leah, who boots the ball down the pitch to Keira. Kei takes her time, containing the ball while I sprint to the goal. I turn and shout her name, and with a swift pass from Keira the ball is at my feet. I whip around, and line up for the perfect shot. Just as I bring my leg to the ball, I see a flash of red. Out of nowhere, Mapi slams into me, her studs catching me just above the knees. My body goes flying, and it’s like time slows. I hear the screams of the crowd. The lights of the stadium are blinding as I fly through the air. Then, all of a sudden, my body hits the ground so hard I feel the impact in my bones. The air is knocked from my lungs, and it’s all I can do to try and breathe steadily. The whistle pierces the air as Lucy runs up to me, alongside Leah. My sister drops to her knees, tears in her eyes. Wordlessly, I nod at her, and she reaches down to grab my hand. 
“I’m alright Lee, I promise,” I tell her, the air returning to my lungs. “Just a little beat up. Help me to my feet?”
She nods wordlessly, and in her silence I can hear Ella and Beth yelling at who I assume is Mapi, but can’t see from my position on the floor.
Lucy grabs my other hand, and as I’m pulled to my feet I see Mapi, who looks absolutely distraught, walking off the pitch, a red card held in her direction by the ref. The medical team arrives, and, after bandaging my leg where the gashes from Mapi’s boots had begun to leave, they head off of the pitch. 
“I want to stay on.” I tell Leah. “She barely nicked me, I’m good to keep playing, I promise.”
Leah looks at me unsurely, but can never resist the puppy-dog eyes, and eventually she sighs in resignation. “Be careful, munchkin.” she tells me, kissing me on the forehead before lining back up. The ball is put back in play, but with Spain playing with one less defender, it isn’t long before another goal finds the back of the net, this time rocketed in by Chloe. Two minutes later, the final whistle blows, and I collapse to my knees. We’d done it. We were advancing in the Euros. Lucy shouts, running up to me, picking me up, and throwing me over her shoulder. I laugh as she does a victory lap, running past all of our teammates who were in various stages of celebrating the win. As we pass Leah, I nudge Lucy to put me down, and when she does, I make my way over to my sister, who hugs me tightly, lifting me slightly off of the ground. 
“We did it!” she shouts over the noise. “Finals, here we come!” I hug her even tighter, and find a few of my other teammates before my exhaustion starts to get the better of me. I find Lucy, who insists on giving me a piggyback ride to the changing rooms, where I strip off my sweaty kit and hop in the shower. I hear the rest of my team entering the changing rooms, and someone connects their speaker, blasting music as we celebrate another win. More of the girls join me in the shower room, and just as I am drying off, I hear the main room grow quieter. All of a sudden, Lucy bounces into the shower room, a smirk prominent on her face. 
“Oi, little Williamson! You’ve got a visitor” she sings, grabbing my arm and dragging me out. I pull the towel tighter around myself, and turn to face her, abruptly stopping her from taking me any further. “What are you on about, Luce?” I ask her. “What visitor?”
I hear a throat clear, and I turn to see Mapi, still dressed in her kit, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Leah is sitting at her cubby, glaring silently at the Spanish woman, and her distrust seems to be echoed by some of my other teammates, who are less than pleased to see the woman who had injured me standing two feet away. 
“I, um, can we talk? Outside?” she asks me, and only now do I notice that her eyes are red rimmed and slightly puffy. 
“Yeah, sure” I reply uncertainly, following her as she turns and walks out of the changing room. I close the door behind me, and turn to face the taller woman, who looks absolutely heartbroken. I tentatively open my arms to her, but am filled with a rush of affection for the Spanish woman as she takes me into her arms, holding me like she thought I was going to break at any moment. She lifts me off of the ground and wraps her arms around my waist, and I feel her begin to cry into my shoulder. I hug her back even tighter, and after a moment, she sets me back onto the ground, wiping her eyes. 
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “You played wonderfully, you always play wonderfully. There will be other games, I promise. This loss will only make you come back stronger, babes. You’re one of the best defenders I’ve ever played against.”
She looks at me, surprised. “You think I am sad because we did not win?” she asks. I look at her confused. “Are you not?” I ask, looking at her. She mutters something under her breath in Spanish, running one of her tattooed hands through her hair. “Of course I am, but I am more upset that I hurt you! Here you were, this perfect, beautiful, funny girl, and what did I do? I hurt you. I was not careful, and I could have easily ended your season. And now your team hates me and you probably hate me, and I always ruin things and I did not want to ruin you.” 
More tears fall from her eyes, and she looks down at her shoes. Gently, I place my hand on her arm, waiting for her to look at me. When she finally does, I smile. 
“You think I’m pretty?” I ask teasingly, smiling even more when I gain a watery chuckle from her. “I promise, you didn’t ruin anything. It was a mistake, but it could have been so much worse. And I’m tough, okay? It takes more than a bad tackle to take me out.” She nods, before pointing at the bandage on my leg wordlessly. I nod, and she kneels down in front of me, placing her hand on my leg and peeling the bandage back slightly to peek at my leg. I am suddenly self conscious of the fact that I’m standing in front of her in nothing but a towel, but these fears are put out of my mind instantly when she presses a gentle kiss on top of the bandage. Carefully, I pull her up to her feet, where she looks directly into my eyes. At this very moment, I feel like I am exactly where I need to be. I have always struggled with feeling left out, out of place. Growing up, I spent all of my time with my sister because I never found true friends that accepted me for me. When I went to Chicago I found my real friends, but it took me a long time, and I felt alone in a new country for so long. Even with my Lioness teammates, it took me some time to open up to them, to be comfortable being myself around them no matter what. But now, with Mapi, I feel like she sees right through me. Like she sees everything about me, and she accepts me for it. Without thinking, I press my lips to hers. Almost immediately I panic, thinking I misread the signals, but as I begin to pull away, she pulls me back in. 
Kissing Mapi is perfect. It is everything a kiss should be and more, and when I finally pull away, and she places her forehead against mine, I feel so overwhelmed with joy and affection I think I might burst. She brushes a strand of damp hair behind my ear, and just as she leans in, the door to the locker room opens. We spring apart as Lucy stands there, a proud look on her face. “Looks like you two are getting on pretty well” she smirks. “Now, I hate to break up the party, but we’re planning to go out for drinks. You’re welcome to join us, Maps, but Leah’s insisting we leave soon.” I nod in response to Mapi’s questioning look, and find myself barely holding back a smile when her face breaks into a blinding grin. 
“I would love to join you for a drink” she says, “as long as it is not tea.”
I let out an offended yelp, to which she snickers, dodging the swat I send her way. 
“Perfect!” Lucy shouts. “I’ll text you the address!” Mapi smiles as Lucy heads into the changing room sending me an exaggerated wink before jogging back down the hall.
“See you soon, princesa!” she shouts, and I can’t stop the smile from breaking across my face as I head back into the room. My joy is short lived, however;
“OI LEAH, YOUR BABY SIS IS SNOGGING MAPI LEON”
“ELLA, IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH i WILL SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR-”
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webslingingslasher · 1 year
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hi so uh could I request a really short (like less than 1000 words) blurb for Peter of him just comforting reader with physical affection cause she's having a depressive episode please (I really need a hug omfg)
i’m at work but i really think you needed this, call it a gut feeling.
peter’s love language is physical touch to the max.
he needs a hand on you at all times, riding in the car? hand on your thigh, if you’re sitting behind him, his hand is wrapped around your ankle. watching a movie? you’ll be tucked into his side, or he’s resting his head on your chest, at the very least your legs are tugged over his lap so he has something to run his hands over. out at dinner? he’s holding your hand across the table almost the entire time, unfortunately you make him give it back when the food arrives. eating out with friends? his favorite, because then he has a reason to sit in the booth next to you and there’s nowhere that’s off limits. hands on your thighs, knees, hands, elbow, neck, face, anywhere he deemed necessary for his touch.
most times you push him off, and he doesn’t take it offensively because even he can admit when he’s being a little too much. there’s only so much you can take of being trapped under his arm in new york summer weather before you shake him off and tell him not to touch you for ten minutes because you’re about to scream. or when you’re out at dinner with friends because he really does have wondering hands, you can see when it’s getting a little much so you have to take his hand and rest it on the table with a pat or grip it in yours so tightly it’s sent into rigor mortis.
there is one time you don’t push him away, when he doesn’t think it’s possible slump into him further, the one time he truly can’t tell where you start and he stops.
he just wishes you weren’t so sad when you needed him like that.
peter thinks you fell asleep on him and he doesn’t mind one bit, sometime after finding you buried under your covers. which he knows is your hiding spot when things just get a little too rough. you’re good most times, but every once in a while you forget how special you are, and he knows when you don’t respond to his texts or snapchats or don’t show up to school.
you didn’t text him much last night and he figured you were tired or sleeping early, then you weren’t at school this morning and he would’ve thought you were feeling sick until it hit ten thirty and you haven’t responded to anything in over twelve hours. his suspicions were confirmed, you were sick, but not with a bug or virus.
peter did the only thing he could think to do, not that you’d believe him in that moment anyways, and sends you three words.
I love you.
if you were to only look at one message from him he wants it to be that, so he doesn’t send anything else for the rest of the school day.
he went straight to your place and let himself in, heading for your door where he knows you’ll be collapsed in bed and have to fight his own upset that you haven’t ate or drank water today because it’s the wrong thing at the wrong time.
sometimes he doesn’t like being right, seeing you swallowed in blankets, facing the wall with your eyes shut, he sees tear marks and doesn’t have to ask, he stopped asking months ago, it was always the same answer.
“why are you crying, hm?” he’d brush your hair away so it doesn’t stick.
and you’d sniffle and blink more tears to fall and whine, “i don’t know, it just has nowhere to go.”
“what has nowhere to go?”
you’d cry harder, “the sadness.”
sometimes there was no good reason to be so sad and it makes it worse, like you needed to justify how sad you felt.
peter took in the darkness, you pinned blankets over your windows, it was as black as you felt. he doesn’t even think you’re sleeping, just… dreading your existence.
in case you don’t know he’s in here he speaks soft and slow so he doesn’t scare you, also because cheerful doesn’t really fit the mood.
“hey, trouble. feelin’ okay?”
he knows you’re not okay, okay. but it’s not about being fine, it’s about checking in with each other because you’d swore you’d tell him if it ever wasn’t okay.
peter can’t hear you, he puts his knees on the bed and shuffles towards your back. “what’s that, mumbles?”
your fingers claw at the blanket around your mouth, “‘m okay.”
peter is the fixer, he fixes everything, you even call him your little engineer. but this is one thing he can’t and never will be able to fix but he’ll gladly hold your hand and cheer you on from the side while you fix yourself.
“wanna hug?”
and you don’t know why these cuddles, these touches, these actions of love that feel the most warming and comforting to you. he always loves you, that’s his thing, but when it’s times like these when you’re so emotionally raw and vulnerable you want to curl up and hide, peter embreases it and doesn’t tell you to hide it, it’s human and he’s happy you trust him enough to see that side and he’ll never take it for granted.
you nod, peter scoots enough to pull at your hip and pull you on your back, he’s looking down at you and doesn’t take offense when you look away.
“wanna be on top?”
sometimes you wanted peter to crush you with his weight, he used to hold back because he didn’t want to actually hurt you until one night you called him out, “peter, please I just need to feel… i don’t know.” so he let himself settle all the way down on your chest and heard how your breath caught, you gripped at his shoulder when he tried to move back up, you gasped it but you needed it, needed it for a few minutes.
“thank you, just… please stay here.”
that’s when it was really bad, you needed him to drown out the whole world, the thoughts, the insults, anything that wasn’t screaming at your brain for breath, and when he moves that first real gulp of air feels like heaven and even if it’s for one second you have two things to be grateful for.
most times, you crawled high into his lap and looped your arms around him so tight he felt like he couldn’t breathe, your face tucked into the crook of his neck, sometimes you’d dot kisses, sometimes you’d cry, and sometimes he feels nothing but eyelashes every few minutes as you blink and shut them, each attempt of opening them like, ‘you ready yet? no? alright.’
or nights like tonight, when you curl around him and doze off because you had a night where instead of sleeping for fourteen hours you stayed up blinking at the wall.
and because if you’d learned anything about his love language, he wouldn’t let go until you asked.
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sanaexus · 3 months
Text
please please please- "this better be a fucking joke"
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keeping your phone back in your pocket, you try to think of an solution which isn't the easiest thing to do when your ex is breathing down on your neck. but hey! positive thoughts only right? he didn't recognize you yet, which made sense considering the last time he saw you, you probably looked like an oompa loompa with a haircut that could rival michael kaisers's, but that was in the past (right?)
suddenly something clicked, if he didn't recognize you, you could just leave without being noticed and feeling bad. so that's exactly you tried, until a voice called out to you.
"leaving so soon?" the heterochromatic called out.
"just like you did every time?" oh. OH. you weren't supposed to say that, you didn't even realise you said that.
he let out a chuckle, "credit where credits due, i was a pretty stupid kid."
"pretty is bit of an understatement no?"
"debatable, i guess i own an explanation huh?"
"you kinda sorta definately do."
"well should we head out? not anywhere far away of course, just not with much people around"
"yeah alright" is all you said before you follow him to some corner of the arcade, looking around you spot a certain blue-headed man, an unconscious smile graced your lips, which didn't go unnoticed by the man beside you.
"who's got you smiling like that?"
"can you shut up and get to the point?"
"yeah yeah, but before i do, just hear my side out i know it doesn't excuse what-"
"nothing's ever gonna excuse cheating ok no sorry continue"
"like i was saying before i was VERY rudely interrupted, i know no matter what i say, it won't justify what i did but that aside-"
suddenly you see a mop of light blue hair infront of you, T-posing for 'asserting dominance' "DON'T FEAR WHEN I AM HEAR-oh fuck wait am i interrupting something important?"
"hiori OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing of course" the man flipped his almost non existent hair and shaking some of that gyatt
"get out please get out oh my god why are you like this"
hiori before glaring at the purple headed-man, "this creature is staying?"
"yes now go, i'll call you when i need you okay?" you do a shoo-ing motion as hiori skips away.
"right uhm are they always like that..?"
"no, not really, now please for heavens sake stop stalling and explain yourself already"
"right so uh i'd like i was a very dumb high-schooler, and no doesn't excuse me cheating but i was a horny fuck, and you were always so busy i just couldn't do it anymore.."
"first of all you're still a horny fuck, and second why didn't you just end it then why did you have to resort to cheating..?" you were trying really hard not to cry but the voice crack probably gave you away, even just the thought of you not moving on from him nearly 2 years later, disgusted you.
"i don't know, i liked you i really did and i didn't wanna lose it but i didn't want to stay either, and i couldn't exactly explain myself, so i resorted to cheating." he explained, it was confusing if he really was feeling guilty and regretful.
"oh, uh i forgive you, ok no i don't but i've moved on from that, we were just kids and shit happens and i can't always hold it against you relationship goes both ways and so does the break up."
"i'm glad we got that cleared out wait you forgive me, so does that mean i can take you out on a date maybe?" he asked a bit hopeful
"oh my god aik-oliver you haven't changed at all, have you?"
"not aiku this time? you wound me, but is that a yes?"
"nope i still need some time to think uh how about you give me your number and i text you within this week if we can go out?"
"yeah that sounds nice." you take out your phone handing it to him as he types his number and saving it as "baby daddy"
"oh ew oliver ew!" you make fake gagging noises.
"hey! i'm not that disgusting...right?"
"i never said that, you're putting words in my mouth, but it was nice meeting again i'll see you around yeah?" and before you could reply you run off to find hiori and when you don't (big shocker) you figured you'd let the gc know (big mistake btw)
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please please please ¡! - an isagi yoichi social media fic
synopsis modeling was fun, especially when you go to make friends and what happens when that exact friend goes to the same high school? the friendship of course continues into college. where you get your heart broken and the internet gets to know but then you meet a certain someone that makes you fall for them. so what happens then? chaos.
taglist is open¡! : @fairlyfuji , @semisutopia, @someprettyname , @csbnova , @ashlovelys , @chateaaa , @yeurisstuff , @starchivves , @m3gitsune ,@muffin-0 , @gojosexpiredcum , @bbmsxlene , @profesionalglazer
divider by @/xxbimbobunnyxx. all credits to her!
sorry guys no funfacts today 🙁 GUYS TRUST ISAGI WILL COME JS LET ME COOK PLS 🗣🗣💯💯🤬🤬😎😎💣💣🔥🔥‼‼💯💯🔛🔝
also I AM SO SORRY WHY IS THIS SO BAD WHY CAN'T I WRITE SHIT OMG I'M GONNA CRY also maybe double update bc i dont wanna fall off and seeing 99+ notifs makes me happy
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billthedrake · 10 months
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Another story idea given by @maturedadsandmen
BIRD IN THE HAND
Cole Walker was about two blocks from his destination when his phone rang. He normally wouldn't answer it, but it was his sorta-kinda boyfriend/fuckbuddy John. Cole still made fun of John for still preferring to call instead of just text, but that's what you get sometimes for dating a man much older.
"Hey," the 24 year old answered. DC weather had moved from cold to brisk and his cheeks were flush.
"Hiya sexy," the said. John's voice was a craggy tenor, with an upstate New York accent. "Just wanted to hear your voice."
Cole smiled. The whole arrangement with John was weird, to say the least. The congressional staffer didn't even know the guy's last name. John was an FBI agent who was VERY closeted. In a town like DC, that wasn't unusual, and Cole himself had only told a couple of close friends that he was gay. But John seemed to want the boyfriend stuff as much as the sex. Cuddling, long talks, dates. All while being crazy protective of his privacy.
"Tough day?" Cole asked. He wished he didn't feel so eager to talk to the man, but it wasn't like he was ready for an open boyfriend either. The fact the federal agent was 47 made something real and public seem impossible to the younger man. He, too, enjoyed the play-pretend nature of their dating if he was honest with himself.
"And how," John breathed. "I'm about to meet a buddy for dinner, but I wanted to call... we still on for date night Saturday? I'll take you somewhere nice." It was only then that Cole could tell the man was in a public place and talking a little quieter than normal.
"Yeah," Cole replied. "And you don't have to go all out. I just enjoy seeing you."
There was a contrite pause on the other end. "I know I've not been good at things lately.. but would it be pushing my luck to have you stay over this time?"
Cole's heart pounded. It was hard to hold a grudge. "No, not at all."
John's volume got lower. "Damn, studly," he hissed. "That's gonna help me get through this week all right."
"Yeah," the younger man chimed in.
"Listen... I gotta go. But see you Saturday?"
"Yep," Cole replied. "Looking forward to it."
After they hung up, Cole felt guilty. It wasn't like he and John were boyfriends, really, not in the conventional sense, and they'd never said anything about being exclusive. If the agent ever asked, Cole would very likely agree to be a one-man guy but until then...
But the real reason he felt guilty is that Paul Ricciardi pushed his buttons in a different way than John. Cole dubbed him the "Head Honcho" is his mind, and while Ricciardi wasn't the number one guy at the Bureau, he wasn't that far down the org chart. In a lot of ways, he was the opposite of John - married and addicted to down-low sex, more dominant in bed, and confident in hooking up with a recently graduated dude despite his high-profile position. He knew Cole Walker was after dick and wasn't gonna blab to anyone.
Paul was just wrapping up a phone call when he heard the buzzer of the apartment. The rental was justified as a place to crash for late nights, but certainly his wife knew her 53-year-old husband kept on an affair, maybe more than one. They just never talked about it. The dont-ask-dont-tell approach worked for the law man.
Ricciardi's gruff face cracked a smile when he opened the door to see Cole. Dudes like this were dime a dozen in DC... congressional staffer, needy bottom, daddy issues galore. But this Walker kid was exceptional: he'd played soccer at Georgetown and his bulking up since graduation had interfered with that youthful jock look. The real deal. No two ways about, Cole was gorgeous. Just the right amount of masculine, the right amount of cute, total boy-next-door who still carried that jock gain as he walked in.
"Hey," Cole's voice said, quietly as he walked in. He respected Paul's need for discretion, it was almost intuitive.
"Hey," the career law enforcement man whispered in a soft growl, shutting the door. "You look hot as fuck."
Cole's eyes swept up Ricciardi's build. Mid-50s and fit as ever, the toned daddy beef filling out Paul's conservative but expensive suit and the short-cropped gray hair setting off the intensity of the man's brown eyes. The tie was loosened but other wise he was a poster boy for Bureau leadership. "You too," he gulped.
Paul grinned and reached up to cup the back of Cole's neck, yanking the younger man into a hot kiss.
Cole moaned into Paul's mouth as that thick tongue conquered him. He could taste scotch and smell the man's cologne. Reflexes kicked in as he reached forward to hold the man's suited waist, enjoying the feel of the Head Honcho's hard body beneath.
The kiss was over as quickly as it started. Ricciardi stepped back and reached down to unzip his suit trousers. The man wasn't overly hung - like John, his cock was meaty, even fat. "Gonna suck Daddy's cock, kid?" Paul roughly growled.
"Fuck yes," Cole said. He's been with only six men since first becoming sexually active at 21. But he quickly realized he was all bottom - orally and anally. He was still surprised he'd bagged two FBI men over the last year and a half. Luck, for sure, but it was also clear the ex-soccer jock had a type. Both Paul and John were strong, silent daddy personalities. His own father was a PA state trooper, and one day Cole would have to analyze the fucked-up part of his head that got turned on by that. Or not. Maybe it was something that could never fully be explained - it's just something about a law enforcement man pushed his buttons big time.
Paul Ricciardi was careful about who he fucked. He had a one-at-a-time rule, for the sake of discretion. By now, he'd had his share of hot young men. He'd met some real sluts and a couple of ex-jocks like Cole. But no one had combined that effortless masculinity with a real bottom eagerness like this kid.
"Fuck yeah," he growled as Cole began deep throating that fat hog. "Swallow Daddy."
More than he realized Cole was worked up that evening. He would have chalked it up to missing this cock, but actually Paul had reached out to him more frequently lately, no longer the once a month booty call. Maybe the more he had it, the more he wanted it.
That hand now clasped the back of Cole's neck and held tight as Paul's hips went into overdrive. Fast hard jabs battered the back of Cole's gullet. It was too much, and Cole coughed some on it, which made Paul pause before starting a gentler, if no less deep, thrusting.
Finally he pulled out, that dick spit wet and rock hard. It was beautiful to Cole. Like with John, he decided he liked the extra girth more than he craved extra length. For as bottomy as he was, the young stud wasn't a size queen. He'd prefer a tool that could use him without too much discomfort.
"To the bedroom, kid," Paul hissed, a hint of a smile cracking on the stern face. He was used to being in charge in every aspect of his life. He was in charge now. But something about this jock stud made him feel a little less in control.
Cole scrambled up. He'd learned to come over to Paul's prepared. Sometimes the two took their time, sometimes the married man seeded him in two minutes flat and sent him back home. As they entered the spare bedroom for the apartment, Cole quickly peeled off his sweatshirt and T in one move and just as quickly kicked off his sneakers and peeled down the jeans. There was nothing underneath and his own hardon stood up erect and excited. Cole may not have had the girth of his boyfriend or this man, but he was hung longer and the sparser crotch hair made his jock bone look even longer.
Paul was taking off his suit and laying it on a chair. He'd hang it up later. For now, his ravenous eyes were on Cole as he got onto the bed, on all fours. They didn't always mate this way but it was Ricciardi's favorite position, and Cole's too, thought they'd never talked about it. They just fucked.
Then watched the Head Honcho step toward the bed, his body tightly dense from dedicated workouts. The chest fur wasn't as silver as his hair, but it was getting there, and it got denser the closer toward that magic cock, which was already dripping.
"Damn, when was the last time you got off?" Cole asked.
Paul climbed on the bed and ran his hand over the ex-jock's dusty haired but half smooth rump. "Fucked the wife yesterday," he hissed. "I'm just a horny guy."
"I'll say," Cole replied. He didn't know what he thought about fooling around with a married man. It probably wasn't the moral thing to do. At least John was single, or said he was single. Maybe the man lied, hence the lack of a last name.
Then Cole felt the nuzzling of the man's face in his clean crack and the contact of that thick tongue. John was actually better at rimming, or at least liked to go longer, but something about Paul's intensity drove him wild. "Yes," he hissed backing his ass back against the man's munching face. A hard slap hit his cheek as the Head Honcho dove in more eagerly. It was gonna be a quick one, but Ricciardi was a grade-A ass man and could rarely resist a taste of Cole's jock hole.
"Goddamn," the FBI man finally said as he leaned up. Cole could feel that hard beef press against his back as Paul reached over for some lube. Just a squirt, not too much... Ricciardi liked a snug ride.
The man quickly fingere Cole and almost as quickly lined up that fat prick to press in.
Cole's deflowering, the night after his 21st birthday, had been by a very patient man, and he'd lucked out to find a couple of tops who knew how to go slow at first. Paul Ricciardi was the first man to show Cole he didn't always need slow.
That dick popped in now, snapping open the elasticity of the young man's pucker.
"Fuck yes!" Paul growled. He leaned forward again, covering Cole's smooth back with his own meaty furry one. "You feel that kid?"
"God yes," Cole hissed. Maybe it was the rank or the badge, but everything about Paul turned him on and made this FAR easier than he'd ever imagine. He even enjoyed the crude way Ricciardi's bone just barreled in further, past his internal tightness. "Fuck me, man."
That was Paul's cue, his green light. Wrapping an arm around Cole's shoulder and neck, he held on tightly and thrust all the way into the hot stud. Barely taking a rest, he began fucking, hard.
"Oh fuck!" Cole whimpered. He wished he could keep his normally deep voice low, but the pitch rose once Paul reamed him like this. "Oh god, oh fuck!"
A hand clasped over his mouth. Paul wasn't overly verbal today, though he could be. Instead he gripped the kid close and rode him hard. It had been a tough week and he needed a fuck like this to channel his stress.
Each mating like this made Cole wonder if it could get better. His prick was now leaking like crazy on Paul's bedsheets and his muscles flexed involuntarily in the man's strong grip.
THIS is what made him feel about going around behind John's back. Cole wished to god that John could fuck like this, or would fuck like this. The Head Honcho was even less available a man than John, but he outmanned Cole's boyfriend in the sack.
BAM, BAM, BAM. Paul's fat cock was relentless now. Some guys couldn't take it. Cole could, and would. The very knowledge had the FBI big-wig's prick getting slick with his own precum.
Cole concentrated and forced himself to quiet his moans. The hand unclasped from his mouth and moved to feel up more of the ex-soccer jock's lean body.
"You're close," he heard. Paul wasn't asking a question.
Cole forced his voice back to its deeper register. "Yah." He felt light headed now. Before Paul he thought hands-free cums were a myth. They weren't though, and he was about to offer proof again now.
"Oh shit," he breathed in a whisper. His dick jerked and the first spray of precum jetted out, matching what Paul was pushing deeper and deep into his guts with each hard jab.
BAM, BAM, BAM. The fucking was harder and faster, if possible, only Ricciardi was starting to lose his cadence. The man was orgasming now.
Cole's dick now jerked again, and the cum flew out. Seven heavy ropes of young cum being pressed out from within. Cole didn't pass out exactly, but he lost focus, like he'd sucked too many poppers at once.
Paul's body slowed and now rested immobile on his back. A light kiss was the one gesture of affection Ricciardi offered him, ever, but the simple act was more powerful for it. Cole wished he could have experienced his partner's cum more vividly, but the payoff of the simultaneous orgasm made up for it. He and John had done that once.
Paul rolled his muscular, FBI-fit body off his sexual conquest and lazily plopped onto the mattress. He was sweaty and handsome as fuck and his prick still twitched in its wetness, semen oozing out of the tip.
Just as lazily Ricciardi reached over to stroke Cole's side as the younger stud gingerly stretched his legs and lay on his back. "Remind me to thank your boyfriend for the hall pass," he hissed.
Cole had told the Head Honcho that he was seeing someone. He's admitted it to put Paul at ease for a discreet hookup, but he regretted sharing that info now. "He doesn't know, actually."
Paul chuckled. "I thought you said you had an arrangement... but that's cool, kid."
Cole felt embarrassed. "I mean, we don't have an exclusive thing, but I guess I haven't gone into details with him."
Normally the Head Honcho would be getting up, going to piss, showering off, or just slipping on some sweat pants in a clear signal it was Cole's time to go. Instead the man's eyes seemed not to get enough of the 24-year old and his hand moved up to gingerly stroke Cole's cute-handsome face.
"Well, I'm glad this works out for you," Ricciardi said. "I know I come on strong, but you're really fucking hot."
"I know," Cole smiled. He knew his worth, but it was also a joke.
Paul got it, chuckling. "As you can tell, I'm a busy man... but I'd love to see you a little more often. If it works out with you and your boyfriend." For a take-charge man, he seemed surprisingly shy in his request.
"That's be hot," Cole said. Paul Ricciardi didn't kiss as much as Cole would like, almost never after the act itself. But it was hard to give up the man's harder approach in bed and his overall sexiness. "You're really fucking hot, too."
"I know," Paul repeated Cole's joke back to him in perfect timing. "Am I hotter than your boyfriend?" he asked with a wink, then patted Cole's chest. "Sorry, that was my male competitiveness kicking in."
Cole nodded. He wasn't going to give Paul the satisfaction of an answer. Besides he didn't know how he would answer. John was sexy as fuck, too, and reminded Cole a lot of Paul in his stature, build, and appearance. "Maybe I shouldn't admit this but he works for the bureau, too."
"Yeah?" he smirked.
"Yeah," Cole nodded. He was glad to see Paul's laid back side. Maybe being married, the man wasn't bothered by hearing about another man. Lazily, the man's fingers caressed Cole's chest muscle. "John. A field agent," Cole said, opening up. He'd not been able to tell a single other soul about the most important development of his life over the last year. It turns out this DL hookup with a DC big shot gave him the only opportunity. He blushed as he added, "Funny thing is I don't even know his last name. He's super closeted. Always going on about how he's married to the Bureau and doesn't have time for anything else."
"Sounds like my brother Jo..." Paul stopped, his face growing beet red and his fingers pausing in their motion on Cole's naked body. "Jesus Christ, you're not fucking my brother are you?"
Cole was taken aback. The idea was crazy and yet once Paul said, he knew it was possible, even likely. The resemblance wasn't dead-on, but it wasn't far apart either. "I dunno," he stammered. "Fuck."
Paul got out of bed and Cole felt bad. Ashamed but also pissed. This guy was probably overreacting. There had to be a thousand Johns in the Bureau. But judging from the Head Honcho's reaction, Cole worried he'd fucked up a good thing.
Only Paul's expression wasn't anger as he walked back in. He had his phone in his hand. He slid back into bed and held it up. There was a photo of John already, probably taken a year ago at the beach, the agent in chino shorts and a casual polo, barefoot in the sand at sunset.
"Is that him?" Paul asked, like he was interrogating a suspect.
Cole nodded, tears welling at the edge of his eyes. "Sorry, Paul," he muttered. "Fuck, I didn't know."
Paul gave a grimace which was strangely comforting as he set down his phone. "I know you didn't, kiddo." He gave Cole a good look, like he was still trying to process things. "Confirmed bachelor, my ass," he laughed cynically.
"I don't know... he's kept things casual with us. Sometimes I think it's more a fuck buddy thing, you know?" Cole was trying to make it sound better, but the more he talked the more he realized it was sounding worse.
Paul had one last shake of the head. "Well, my brother had good fucking taste... I'll give him that." Then, "maybe you should go, OK?"
His tone was surprisingly empathetic, not mean. Cole could tell Paul was feeling concern that he'd encroached in onto his brother's guy and was processing the fact John was very probably full-on gay. And maybe the Head Honcho was worried how Cole was processing all this.
"Yeah," the ex-jock said, quickly gathering his clothes to put back on.
"Don't worry, kid," Paul said, leaning up in his bed, still naked and hunky looking. "This shit happens. Well, maybe not very often, but it's nothing to get freaked over."
"I'm OK," Cole said gamely. A million thoughts were racing in his mind but one worry in particular.
"But what?" Ricciairdi prompted, able to tell something was bugging the young guy.
"I shouldn't admit this," Cole said. "But I'm gonna miss the sex we've had."
Paul's brown eyes sought his and it was like their connection was a spark of energy. "Me, too, kid, me too."
Cole Walker thought about those words the whole walk back to his apartment.
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writing-rat · 9 months
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A date With CC Walker
Pairings: CC Walker x Fem! Reader
Content: Fluff, pure fluff!
Summary: You decide to stay with CC after football practice and go on a date with her
WC: 746
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It was a cold day, and you were worried about CC. You were in the bleachers in one of her hoodies and a pair of sweatpants and you were cold, never mind the fact that CC was in a jacket with a thin shirt and a pair of shorts. She didn’t even look cold but then again she was focused on the game and improving more even if she was amazing at the game. Every now and then after a goal, she would look at you with a cocky smirk and wink before focusing on the game. She lived to fluster you every chance she could get and she loved it. 
You were just thankful her practice was for an hour so you didn’t have to suffer much and also you didn’t have to worry about CC much for when she was playing in just those shorts. Soon enough, they were done and everyone was going to the changing room. That was when you stood up and waited outside, texting her. ‘I’m inside, outside the changing room door. Can go to your house after then?’ you had texted. You got a thumbs-up in return which was a yes. You smiled gently at the response. After 10 minutes, she came out and looked at you. 
“Hey babe,” she spoke, holding your sides gently and kissing you, her hair wet. She had showered and it was clear. She also had on her blue beanie, blue hoodie and some black sweatpants. 
“Hey,” you responded after the kiss and looked at her lovingly, admiring her. 
“Want to go to a coffee shop before we walk to my house?” she asked. You smiled, nodding. 
“Yeah. A hot chocolate I am assuming?” you teased the girl, nudging into her with a smile. You knew her love for hot chocolate after all. CC just laughed as she was shrugging, 
“I mean… yeah. You want one?” she asked, holding your hand as you were both walking out with each other. You nodded.
“Admittedly, yes. It is cold when you’re just sitting down and not doing sports unlike my special little nerd,” you teased her. CC just glared and slapped your arm but chuckled.
Eventually, you both arrived at the cafe shop, holding hands the entire time and even kissing a little bit. “So 2 hot chocolates right?” CC asked, grabbing her wallet out. “I’ll pay. But yeah,” you answered.
“Nope. I’m paying,” CC demanded which caused you to widen your eyes and nod. You knew how she could get after all so you just accepted it. CC was definitely happy about that.
Once you got your drinks (takeout of course), you started the walk to her house. “Well, get ready to be beaten at Mario Kart,” CC smirked out, causing you to raise an eyebrow and smirk. “Oh really?” you teased her as CC nodded. “Remember the one time I beat you?” you decided to tease her. “Well… you can shut the fuck up,” CC defended herself as she glared causing you to laugh and nod as you loved her. 
“Afterwards we can watch a movie,” you offered. “Even with cuddles?” you added, trying to sweeten the deal. CC just smiled, biting her lip as she looked you up and down. “Do you deserve it though?” CC teased you. You just gawked. “Yes? I, as your girlfriend, should be able to cuddle you especially when you beat me at Mario Kart,” you justified, causing CC to nod. “Alright,” she spoke. “Cuddles and a film after it is!”
-
Once you arrived at her house, you saw how her mom was home. “Miles and Wyatt have gone on a boy's night out,” Jess called out not realising you were there, petting Pickles. “Oh! Hi, how are you?” she asked you, smiling. “Doing good Jess! We will just play Mario Kart, watch a film, and cuddle. Do you trust us with the door closed?” You teased. This time CC slapped your arm hard. “Ow!” You whined out. Jess just laughed. 
“Of course, just call me up if you need food or drinks!” she spoke and you both nodded. “Thank you, Jess,” you thanked her as CC nodded.
“Yeah, thanks mom! Now let’s go up!” CC spoke and smiled at you before you were in her room.
Safe to say you won Mario Kart then watched a film of her choice, when you decided to stay the night. You knew Jess wouldn’t mind and CC deserved the cuddles.
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abarbaricyalp · 6 months
Text
Give Me Toothaches Just From Kissing Me
"But March 10th was two weeks ago!" Time doesn't exist. Happy Birthday to Bucky Barnes
The first time Sam had gotten Bucky a birthday cake, it was a joke. It was 2016, just a few scant months before their whole operation went to hell in a handbasket, and Sam had texted Bucky without expectation of a reply. Just a picture of the view from his fancy hotel balcony in Monaco or something, with a fancy chocolate cake on the wide balcony ledge. He was in town for a military tech conference, so his morning jogging schedule had been interrupted. Eating a whole cake on his own over four days would totally be in the realm of possibility. 
An hour later, when Sam was more than half a bottle of wine down and two albums in on a 'crooners' playlist, a shadow peeled itself off of the wall and greeted him with a, "Hey, birdbrain."
Sam, perhaps, did not do any work towards proving that nickname stupid by flailing dramatically and knocking the cake with his forearm. With twin movements, they watched the cake sail to the ground seven stories below and explode into a shower of sugar and cream. Then they turned to look at each other. There were three beats of shocked silence and then they both burst into laughter together.
"That was a really good cake," Sam whined in between the laughter as he leaned into Bucky's space and Bucky wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Yeah, I could tell. You already had half."
"I didn't figure you were gonna actually show up," Sam pointed out.
"Why wouldn't I show up? You called."
"That hasn't stopped you before," Sam pointed out. He spent a few extra seconds staring at the mangled cake on the ground before he sat back on the balcony furniture. Bucky followed him down. He kept his arm around Sam until it was unfeasible, and then he let his hand fall to Sam's, fingers tangling together. Sam allowed it because it was his birthday, even though it was vastly out of the range of usual activities for them.
"Well, this time I was promised cake," he added after a few seconds of amiable quiet.
Sam looked over at him to discern if he was serious or not. The grin pulling at his usually severe mouth said all Sam needed to know. They burst into quiet giggles again.
“Good thing I got all the sweetness I need right here,” Bucky eventually conceded. He tucked a knuckle under Sam’s jaw and leaned in to kiss him beneath the moon and the lights and everything but a cake.
. . .
The second time Sam tried to give Bucky cake, it was a year later. It felt almost impossible that the world had slowed down around them long enough to justify an impromptu visit to Wakanda to check in on Bucky.
When their jet had touched down, Bucky was waiting for them with a wide smile that Sam had never really seen before. "Now, I know I told T'Challa not to do anything for my birthday, but he went a step further and got me everything I didn't want," he joked as he and Steve collided in a fierce hug, the kind of thing that always made Sam want to look away.
Then Bucky was extricating himself from Steve's hold so he could crowd around Sam instead, ducking his face down to Sam's neck as he squeezed his waist. If it was supposed to be a hug, it was like no hug Sam had ever had. He could get used to it though. After a few heartbeats shared between them, Sam pinched Bucky's hip and stepped back.
"Hey, old man," he greeted. Bucky grinned at him, boyish and a little smitten. It was a look Sam was more familiar with. "Happy birthday."
"Is that what this is about? You stop paying attention after 90," Bucky joked. For a split second, his fingers lingered over Sam's but he didn't take his hand--Sam didn't take Bucky's either--and he turned back to Steve to amble along together as they instantly fell into a conversation like they hadn't just been apart for the better part of half a year.
By the time they got around to dinner and a small party, Sam felt silly for bringing a dozen store bought cupcakes--hidden away in his room upstairs. The dinner had been more of a feast, despite Bucky's protestations, and the dessert spread that followed was unlike anything Sam had ever seen. No expensive wedding or VA event or Stark fundraiser held a candle to the cakes and cookies and sweet bars that were available. Sam ate more Wakandan desserts than he could name American desserts and each one was better than the last. Bucky, for all his talk of not wanting anything, had at least sampled every chocolate food on the table and gone back for full servings of most of them.
By the time they managed to crawl into Bucky's room--which branched off into Steve and Sam's rooms and connected bathrooms--all of them were groaning about stomach aches and sugar comas. Bucky crawled under his blankets, becoming nothing more than a groaning lump, and Steve settled along the bench at the end of the bed, laying back on it and resting a hand over his stomach, while burping and then apologizing every few minutes.
Sam ducked into his room while the others settled and grabbed the two bags from him and Steve, as well as the plastic carton of cupcakes. It was absolutely not going back with him at this point. His stomach hurt just looking at it.
Back in Bucky's room, he passed off the bounty. Bucky set aside the gift bags, but his eyes gleamed at the sight of more sweets.
"Come on, open the gifts," Sam jostled, sitting on the bed nearest where Bucky was sprawled.
"Nah, I'll look at them later," he said as he peeled the safety seal sticker away from the cupcakes.
"Oh, come on," Steve laughed. "You're still shy?"
"I'm not shy," Bucky snapped. "I'm civilized. Not everyone has to tear into their gifts as soon as they're within reach."
Sam snorted and tried to hide it from Steve.
"I do not do that," Steve objected, but not with much conviction. Actually, he wasn't that bad, Sam had to admit. But clearly Bucky had better stories than Sam.
“What are these?” Bucky asked instead of fighting a battle he knew he’d already won. He took the cupcakes and deftly opened the package without making a cacophonous sound, which meant he knew perfectly well what they were and clearly had had his share of them.
“I know they’re not anything special after that whole show,” Sam acknowledged, waving his hand in the general direction of the kitchens. “But these are packed so full of preservatives, you’ll be able to keep ‘em until his birthday,” he joked with a gesture towards Steve.
“Way to sell ‘em, Wilson,” Bucky chuckled. He was already halfway through one of the cupcakes and he held a blue one out to Steve. It was the middle of march, so most of the predesigned things were spring flavored. This set, blues and greens swirled around, was about as festive as Sam could find. “I love the frosting on these things,” he added around a mouthful of cupcake.
Steve shot Sam a knowing, slightly gloating look. He’d been the one to insist Bucky would enjoy these, no matter what else was going on with the day. Then he shoved the entire cupcake in his mouth just like Bucky because apparently manners hadn’t been invented yet back in the ‘40s. Sam shook his head at their antics, both of them trying to one up the other until almost the whole carton was gone.
Bucky reached over to snag a smear of frosting off of Steve’s cheek and sucked his knuckle into his mouth while Steve cried foul about uneven division of frosting.
“You two are gross,” Sam laughed and made sure his own face was devoid of any frosting before their turned their attention on him.
It didn’t work. By the time Bucky had turned his playful, teasing expression on Sam, his eyes had darkened just a little and one eyebrow rose in a challenge.
“No,” Sam warned, holding up the half of a cupcake still in his hand. “Whatever it is, no.”
But Bucky didn’t listen. He reached out to and shoved the cupcake against Sam’s cheek, frosting first, then pinned him back against the headboard with a broad hand across Sam’s shoulder and collarbone. Sam swallowed thickly, couldn’t help the way he went lax beneath Bucky’s weight as the other man settled across his thighs and leaned forward to lick a stipe of the icing off of Sam’s cheek.
“Stevie, you might wanna think about gettin’ to your own room,” Bucky warned without taking his dark, hungry stare off of Sam.
“Ah, come on. You two are gross,” Steve complained, but he did hustle out of the room pretty quickly. Took a cupcake for the road.
Sam tried to put some structure back in his bones, tried to posture up under Bucky’s hold. He reached up for the frosting, wiped most of it off of himself, and then smeared it across Bucky’s cheek, down to his mouth.
That mouth split into a grin before it was against Sam’s, lips parted, tongue hungry as he licked over Sam’s lips, chasing after the frosting he was depositing.
Sam had to admit: this may be better than the desserts downstairs.
. . .
The next time he actually got to sit still for Bucky’s birthday, it was a few lifetimes later. He had every intention of sleeping in just a little bit, skipping his run to get up before everyone else and make a cake, wake up the house to the smell of chocolate and buttercream, the way his mama used to always.
Instead, he slept in a lot a bit and woke up to the sound of nothing short of chaos in the kitchen. Sarah was out already, he surmised when he finally dragged himself upright and grabbed his phone from where it had fallen the night before to check the time. He and Bucky had gotten in late the night before, stuck in New York doing paperwork after some giant worm appeared out of a sinkhole in New Jersey. He had no idea how Bucky had the energy to get up, much less start making noise in the kitchen.
Groggily, maybe a little grumpily, he pulled on a hoodie and a pair of shorts that wouldn’t aggravate all of the scrapes he was covered in and went out to see what was happening.
Bucky did make it a point to clean up the kitchen any time he was near it. Especially after himself, but even when Sarah cooked. He insisted that she did the cooking, so he should do the cleaning. And somehow this reflected badly on Sam, as far as Sarah was concerned, which seemed unfair. Sam cleaned plenty.
The cleaning never seemed to justify the mess beforehand.
“What in the world is going on here?” Sam asked, leaning on the wide doorjamb that led into the kitchen.
Cass whirled around first, clutching a too large mixing bowl to his chest. “Nothing!” he exclaimed.
AJ, less practiced in the ways of subterfuge, said, “We’re making cupcakes! For Bucky,” he clarified
Bucky, who was remarkably clean for the amount of flour and egg otherwise splashed across the kitchen, grinned at Sam. “I didn’t ask, by the way. They brought it up. I dunno how you and Sarah say no to these little faces.”
AJ preened and gave another spin with the spatula, sent more frosting over the edge of his too-small bowl.
“You guys are working at a disadvantage, trynna listen to Bucky,” Sam said, coming into the kitchen. “I know you know how to use paper towels. Why does the kitchen look like this?”
Cass let out a little noise of guilt, but Bucky saved him from having to answer by producing a roll of paper towel from behind himself. “It’s probably supposed to be my job, but I’m a better taste tester.”
“Uncle Sam, is it true he can’t get salmonella ‘cause of the super soldier serum?” Cass asked.
“Can I have some?” AJ added.
Sam shot Bucky an unimpressed look, but he was nothing but cheeky smiles and not a shred of embarrassment. “I guess we’re gonna find out if it’s true or not,” he said. He snagged the paper towels from Bucky to begin wiping up at least the bits of cracked egg that lined every countertop. “Lucky it’s me in here and not your mama.”
Cass made the same kind of noise again as he searched for a place to put down his mixing bowl. It must be an oldest sibling gene, because Sam remembered Gideon making the exact same kind of sounds. Usually when Sam was about to do something like jump off the stair bannister.
“Mom’s out at the restaurant,” AJ said, unbothered. He was usually unbothered.
“Come here,” Sam said, gesturing more for AJ to make space than for him to actually move closer. “Bucky let you pick the wrong bowl, so you’ve gotta be careful,” he said, holding AJ’s hand as he held onto the spatula. “Go slow, like this.”
He looked up as AJ failed to do that, more frosting going flying, and caught Bucky’s eye. Bucky grinned again, soft and lovely in the mid-morning light coming through the kitchen window.
“A guy could get used to this view,” he said with a warm honey tone.
“A guy will not,” Sam said. “Get to actually cleaning.”
Bucky gave him the laziest of salutes and took the paper towels back.
By the time Sarah came home, with balloons and, hilariously, an ice cream cake, the kitchen was clean and they’d managed to make the best cupcakes Sam had ever had.
. . .
It took finding their own place, saving the world a few hundred times, a lot of missed events, and one perfect spring day for Sam to finally have a cake on the table on Bucky’s birthday. Handmade, from the same recipe he always got for his birthdays as a kid.
“Happy birthday, old man,” he said, kissing Bucky’s temple.
Bucky caught Sam’s hand against his shoulder, tugged him down to sprawl across Bucky’s lap. “Is that what all this is about?” Bucky teased, like he did almost every time Sam tried to do anything for his birthday, no matter how delayed the celebration was.
“Yeah, yeah,” Sam laughed. He dragged the cake closer and lit the handful of candles–he was not putting a hundred candles on a cake–before sitting back a little. “Make a wish before you keel over.”
Bucky laughed, bright and loud, and his arms tightened around Sam. “I haven’t had to wish for anything for a long time, Sammy.” And he kissed Sam without even trying to blow out the candles.
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