#but i also know that 1. i sucked in different. chiller ways | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

renaerys · 4 years

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PPG One-Shot: Six Degrees Chiller (Brick/Blossom)

A new cute one-shot in honor of @carriedreamerx birthday! In the same high school AU as part 1, part 2, and part 3, but can totally stand-alone. Also posted on my AO3. Tune in for some laughs and some Reds cuteness!

Summary: Brick goes deodorant shopping. It doesn't end well. (Or does it??)

xxx

Brick squinted at the nine-foot shelf packed with a full color wheel of deodorants and antiperspirants. The sheer surfeit of brands and scents was as daunting to behold as it was absolutely batshit insane—how many ways did people need to not smell like a dirty gym sock?

He picked a random stick and scowled at the label as if it had offended him and all his future progeny. Who the fuck would want to smell like mango lassi?

The squeak of a shopping cart rolling down the aisle sent Brick into a febrile panic for a hot second, and he shoved the saccharine deodorant stick back onto the shelf. A geriatric woman with a hunched back, a bright head scarf, and eyes so folded over with wrinkles it was a miracle she could see anything at all wheeled her cart slowly past Brick, who froze where he stood. She smiled politely at him, and he nodded out of sheer self-preservation instinct. The moment she passed him, he yanked the bill of his red cap lower over his eyes.

“Get a grip,” he grumbled. He was an eighteen-year-old guy buying deodorant, not stool softener. He was totally casual and had absolutely no reason to be so fucking paranoid. Nobody who might recognize him was coming to Cooper’s Market at 8 a.m. on a Sunday.

Brick wiped his clammy palms on his jeans and searched the shelves for what he’d come for so he could hurry up and leave. There it was, fifth shelf in a sea of sleek black and edgy, neon letters: Axe Ice Chill.

“Okay, do you consider yourself more of a music lover, sports star, gaming guru, or style icon?” Boomer had asked as he sat cross-legged on the sofa with his laptop open to the Axe “Find Your Magic” test a few months ago.

“Sports star,” Butch had said on his left, and poked the screen that wasn’t a touch-screen.

“That’s you, moron,” Brick had said, totally above this stupid test. “Pick style icon.”

Boomer grinned. “Oh yeah, your hoodies are so stylin’.” He clicked the next question. “Signature scent? Huh, maybe warm and aromatic?”

“Sounds like one of those Yankee holiday candles,” Butch had said.

Unfortunately, he had a point.

“Well, you're not exactly woody and earthy, and you’re definitely not fruity and sweet—”

“Just go to the next one.” Brick clicked on “fresh and cool” and waited for the screen to load. “Smellin’ good!” the loading page flashed at him. Jesus fucking Christ.

When the quiz presented a true or false statement, Butch moved like he had a bug up his ass and slammed the touchpad before Brick or Boomer could do anything about it.

Boomer tried not to laugh. “Dude, come on.”

“Please, he’s a punk-ass dweeb who’d never make the first move in a fight, let alone on a girl—” Butch had taunted.

Brick punched him in the throat with his Super speed and smiled at the sound of his asshat brother gagging. “Choke and die, motherfucker.”

Butch wheezed as he laughed through the pain, and Brick and Boomer breezed through the more generic age and appearance questions: under 18, long hair (“Mane Man!” the quiz gushed, and Brick almost melted Boomer’s laptop right there), and natural look. After an artificially anticipatory loading screen, a picture of a dude with a clown nose crowd surfing in a sepia Instagram filter appeared on the screen with the generic “Be your best self!” encouragement in blocky letters superimposed upon it, and finally the expert, personalized recommendation for Brick’s body spray needs.

“Because you’re hotter when you’re chill.” Brick had cringed when he read that idiotic tagline the first time, and he cringed reading it again now in the deserted personal hygiene aisle where he prayed no one would find him buying this cry-for-help vanity spritz.

However.

He sprayed a bit of mist in the air and reveled in that cool, icy scent that wasn’t a scent so much as a feeling. Six degrees chiller in a bottle. The first time he’d tried it (under great duress), he’d griped and bitched and slammed his bedroom door to get away from his howling brothers. Settled on his bed with a frown, he had to admit it did cool him off. It was almost pleasant. The smell wasn’t overwhelming like that tiger piss Butch bathed in on the daily. But it wasn’t out of this world compared to the generic shit he’d been using before.

It wasn’t until Blossom sneezed on their way out of AP Lit that her ice breath—and understanding—hit him with the force of a cold snap to the balls.

“Sorry, did I get you?” she’d said, abashed as she covered her mouth with one hand and fished out a bottle of Purell from her messenger bag with the other. Her ice splatter fast melted on his shoulder as his too-warm body absorbed the cold with a bizarre, but extremely pleasant, shiver down his spine.

Son of a bitch, but he had a kink.

Which, of course, spiraled way the hell out of control when he found himself here months later with a recycled shopping bag he’d brought so he could carry the three bottles of Axe Ice Chill he planned to purchase home, because Brick planned ahead and liked to keep his bathroom well-stocked.

Which also, of course, was why at that very moment, fate decided to punch him in the dick.

“Bubbles, you have, like, fourteen bottles of shampoo at home! You don’t need another one,” Buttercup groused at 8 in the goddamned morning on a Sunday.

“Those are all different products, not just shampoo. Honestly, Buttercup.” Bubbles zipped into the aisle with Buttercup on her tail just at the moment Brick had his second panic attack in the span of five minutes and completely lost his shit.

He launched the bottle of Axe Ice Chill so hard into the ceiling that it lodged in there tighter than a prairie-dogging turd.

“Brick?” Blossom’s hand on his shoulder nearly sent him yeeting after his abused body spray, if the sheer mortification didn’t rob him of further motor function and exactly one hundred percent of his brain cells.

Like her sisters, she wore a jacket over her pajama pants. They must have just popped over for some last-minute breakfast staples and a side of peer humiliation. But even in those criminally hideous Ugg boots and five boxes of pancake mix in her shopping basket at 8 on a fucking Sunday morning, her smile glowed.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he returned lamely, because that was all she was getting from him until his neurological functions rebooted.

“Hi, Brick,” Buttercup said, suspicious like usual and searching for some excuse to bust his balls for a laugh. “What’re you doing here?”

The Super sisters had cornered him in front of the Teen Spirit, which came in an absolutely frightful eighteen scents because there was nothing pubescent teenagers needed more than eighteen reassurances that their social survival depended on smelling like a potpourri candy bar.

“Shopping, obviously,” Bubbles said. “Ooh, Brick, you have straight hair. What do you think?” She held up two bottles of brightly colored free-range, organic hair shit.

“I think I was just leaving,” he managed.

“Empty-handed?” Buttercup peered at him like he might transform into a literal dick with ears if she only managed not to blink for long enough. He could smell the threat of a joke on her.

“They didn’t have the brand I wanted.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Bubbles said, genuinely stricken.

“Girls, let’s get going. I really want those pancakes,” Blossom said.

“We better grab more syrup. Buttercup finished it all,” Bubbles said, already moving away. She dropped both hair products in Blossom’s basket, not bothering to choose between them.

“Oh please, everybody knows you and the Professor are the syrup fiends in this house.” Buttercup floated after her and waved to Brick. “Hey, tell that shithead to answer my texts. He owes me $20.”

“Uh-huh,” Brick said, fully intending not to mention anything about this conversation to Butch at all.

“Sorry about your favorite brand being sold out,” Blossom said.

It’s fine, he would have said had she not caught his cheek in her hand and pressed a frosty kiss to the corner of his lips before he could do anything about it. Frozen fernlings crept over his cheek and chin, down his neck, and slowly absorbed through his now flushed skin, and he shivered. Without even thinking about it, he reached for her, but she was already walking away to catch up with her sisters.

When she got to the end of the aisle, she shot him a cheeky grin over her shoulder and had the nerve to wink at him. “Stay cool, Brick.”

Red in the face and high on her, Brick just stood there like an idiot gawking at his kind of unofficial girlfriend and the singular dominating object of his fantasies, be they sexual or otherwise. What was dignity when she smiled at him like that? What was a paltry imitation in a bottle when she kissed him like that?

The paltry imitation fell from its hole in the ceiling and exploded on the tiled floor at Brick’s feet with a winter ferocity that, in that moment at least, rivaled Blossom’s in the heat of battle.

When Brick got home later that morning and Boomer asked him why he smelled like a snowman’s asshole, Brick burned the clothes on his back and spent the next half hour in the shower thinking about how he was going to convince Blossom to make the first move and finally make them official.

xxx

Y’all better appreciate the research that went into this fic. That Axe quiz is real and I took it pretending to be Brick, and it literally does spit out a photo of a dude wearing a clown nose in a club. If that’s not a sign from the Daddy that I’ve chosen the righteous path, then idk what is. Sacrifices to my Chrome search history were made for this fic in the name of celebrating Carrie, ergo, worth it.

#Blossick #PPG Reds #Blossom #Brick #Powerpuff Girls #PPG Fanfic #Powerpuff Girls Fanfiction #february fic prompts #ppg shook

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benisasoftboi · 5 years

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Gushing time.

Rune Factory 4 Special arrived a day early, so my entire day has been consumed in nostalgia. The original Rune Factory 4 was the first video game I ever bought on release day - I remember saving up all my money and making my mum drive me to like three different shops trying to find one that had it. I was already a fan of the franchise - before then, Rune Factory 3 had been my favourite video game, across the board. Aside from a playthrough of the first game last year, I haven’t played a Rune Factory game in a long time, certainly not RF4. But just starting up the game and hearing the music again, it was like it was suddenly seven years ago. Running around Selphia and seeing all the characters again - I love JRPGs, have played a lot of them, and I can think of very few that have characters that have stuck with me this long. And the aesthetics - the best thing about the Rune Factory franchise has always been the aesthetics, the music, the scenic and character design, just the general world. It’s a beautifully whimsical balance of urban and fantasy, and it’s the only JRPG world I think I’ve ever come across that I would genuinely want to live in. Rune Factory may no longer be my favourite game franchise - but I don’t think there has ever been another series that has felt so much like home to me.

Here’s a very long selection of personal highlights from the art book (by which I mean photos of the art followed by my rambling opinions):

Yeah, see, here’s the thing - Rune Factory 1 is not a good game. I could write an entire essay on why it’s bad (I actually started and got pretty damn far before realising no one’s interested in my two thousand word review of a game that came out over a decade ago - the short version is ‘Misty Bloom-fucking-Cave’. Anyone who’s played RF1 knows exactly what I mean). Don’t get me wrong, it has good qualities - excellent boss fights, for one, and also, as with the rest of the franchise, it is aesthetically wonderful. But ultimately, it feels less like playing a video game, and more like playing a proof of concept for a game. Which I guess it kind of was - and I can’t hate it because we wouldn’t have the rest of the series without it.

But it literally ends with a dragon spewing plant breath on a tank to make a turnip grow out of the gun. ‘Profound’, my arse.

It’s Raguna! The “master sowrdsman!” (that is not a typo on my part that is a direct quote from the ending of Rune Factory 1 this game’s script had so many issues-). And Mist! My favourite of the ‘canon’ love interests!

Best girl! When I was a kid, my favourite love interest in RF1 was Rosetta. As an adult, it is Tabatha. I don’t know what it is about her that I find so likeable (she’s as lacking in personality as any other RF1 character), but... idk, I just like her a lot.

Camus’s big ambition is to leave town like even once. He will never achieve it

Fun fact about Melody is that she’s extremely depressed, a fact that comes up once in an optional side quest and is never addressed again. It’s incredibly dark for an RF game

Fun fact about Lukas is that he sucks (he’s one of those ‘obsessed with talking about how hot all the girls are’ characters, an archetype that thankfully doesn’t show up again in these games). But also, interestingly enough, thanks to one of RF1′s many, many script errors, if you marry Rosetta (the girl Lukas is the most obsessed with), he’s supposed to express disappointment that he lost her to Raguna - but instead, he implies that he’s disappointed to have lost Raguna to her. The translators typoed their way into giving him a sexuality change. Which is honestly kind of amazing.

LOOK AT THIS SLIME THIS IS SUCH A COOL SLIME LITERALLY EVERY OTHER JPRG SLIME GO HOME DRAGON QUEST GET FUCKED (jk I like Dragon Quest a lot and its slimes are cool too). Wish you could see in-game that this is what they’re meant to be like.

I just generally love the monster designs, they’re really charming

Rune Factory 2! The RF game with the most weirdly mundane protagonist name (Kyle. In the main four games of this franchise we’ve got Raguna, Micah, Lest, Frey... and Kyle). The two generations thing was actually very cool, but when they say ‘each chapter captures a different lifestyle’, what they really mean is ‘the first half is a weak Harvest Moon I’m sorry, STORY OF SEASONS game, and the second half is a pretty good Rune Factory game’

lookit this little fuck

Yue Yue Yue! I love Yue so much, she’s great. She’s kind of like a much chiller version of Anna from Fire Emblem.

It’s really cool that we got to see grown up Cecilia (she was in RF1). I have this silly headcanon that if Kyle doesn’t marry Mana, Nicholas (her friend in 1) comes to visit Cecilia one day in the hazy-post game future, and meets Mana, and they get together. While Yue is my favourite, I do genuinely like Mana a lot, and I just want her to find love, I guess.

Here’s original Barrett! There’s a reason he was popular enough to make a reappearance (well, aside from the whole grumpy pretty boy thing he’s got going on) - he was a great character in this game. His and Dorothy’s relationship is also definitely the most compelling of the rival romances. Bonus Max, who also has a little shout-out in RF4 (check the diary in what will become Dylas’s bedroom at the start of the game)

Ray is male, but apparently he was originally going to be a female character, as he has an unused portrait in a wedding dress. My friend and I agree that this makes him a Trans Icon

Monster designs remain excellent. Especially the goblins

Skipping over Frontier (and also Oceans later), as I never got to play it growing up due to not having a console, and still haven’t got around to it - might try this summer. Except I do need to point out that these guys should be memes. I don’t know in what way. But they should.

Rune Factory 3! My first RF game. The transformation thing was very cool, even if it was basically useless outside the main story. My friend and I spent hours mucking about in the WiFi dungeon. I loved the desert settlement and all of the dungeon designs in general, and man, RF3 is just great. I hope it gets a remake one day.

Raven Raven Raven! I LOVE Raven (as do most). Her story with Micah is the first time I can remember getting genuinely invested in a video game romance. I’m so glad she cameos in RF4. I love her. She’s wonderful.

I have an odd fondness for Marian. When I was about twelve, I decided to do a playthrough where I deliberately romanced the least popular bachelorette. After poking around on forums, I determined that character to be Marian, and did a run with her. And... I actually came to really like her. I find her endearing. I get that people find her annoying and don’t like her... unethical medical practices, but doing that run has still made me a pretty protective of her. It’s been a long time since I played RF3, so maybe I’d change my mind if I replayed now, but currently, as far as I’m concerned, Marian’s a good’un.

I think I also used to low key ship her with Collette lol

Pia’s official art has always been super weird to me because it’s so not what her character is like in-game. She’s a ditzy airhead. This makes her look so serious

RAINBOW! Another character whose art makes them look way more serious than they actually are. Daria is great and would be a meme if this game was more popular. I think she’s also implied to be a relative of Margaret.

I’ve always been super confused about what Kuruna’s skirt is meant to be. Is it fur? Is it part of her shirt? Is it even a skirt at all?

Check it out, it’s the guy everyone would ship Micah with if this game was more popular

I want Zaid to make a reappearance and interact with Doug. Pretty sure it’s canon that they’re from the same clan? Think it would be very interesting.

RF3 definitely had the coolest farm. Also, still love the desert settlement.

This is from Oceans, so I have no context, but it’s just so cool that I had to share

Rune Factory 4. Culmination of the series is right - when I was playing it for the first time, I remember being blown away by just how much it is a true love letter to the franchise. I have never come across another game series that so consistently grew and improved from entry to entry. RF4 was a perfect ending.

Not that I’m complaining about getting RF5. Quite the opposite.

But if it had been the end (as we all thought it was until about a year ago), well, like I say. Perfect.

Well. Aside from soda can nipples. Can’t believe they didn’t fix those. Though in some ways, that would have made me sad too

Dolce has such a cool design, in both human and monster form. I’ve always kind of crack-shipped her with Margaret, for no real reason at all

Vishnal! I love Vishnal. Vishnal is pure as heck. Marrying him this time around.

Doug! My choice from last time around. Another character who looks more serious in his official art than he is in-game (well... most of the time)

And then there’s Dylas, who looks much happier here than he does most of the time. Kind of looks like he and Doug swapped bodies, actually. There’s a fanfic prompt for you.

Their ship name is Dyldo. I love them

Leon is nostalgic for me mostly because my friend and I used to get into a lot of arguments about whether or not he’s the hottest character in the game. She maintains that he is, because muscles. I maintain that muscles aren’t actually that attractive. It is a rift that divides us to this day

(He looks oddly... younger in this art though? Weird)

Sechs Empire is such an unfortunate name. Seriously. How rushed was RF1′s localisation team? All those script errors, and then this (the Sechs were the antagonists in the first game, and were only referenced in passing in the rest until RF4 - so it was a bit of a ‘sins of the father’ situation by then).

Seriously, try saying ‘Sechs Emperor’ out loud and tell me you can take this man seriously

I??? Love??? Them???

I??? LOVE??? THEM???

Still confused as to why Kiel, Xiao Pai, Arthur and Margaret are on the cover now. Don’t get me wrong, I like them, but... Amber, Dylas, Dolce and Leon made way more sense? Even the Archival Cover makes more sense (Vishnal, Clorica, Forte), as those three are all kind of Lest/Frey’s servants (well, Forte for the whole town, but still). Of those first four, all but Arthur basically lift right out of the game with little-to-no impact on the story

NO HAT TABATHA NO HAT TABATHA

I’ve always really loved this Raven picture

And I am thankful for you <3

#rune factory #rune factory 4 #rune factory 4 special #rf4 #rf4s #rf4srelease #i love these games <3

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sunshinejs · 5 years

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Meet Cute

Requested by @kbearr12 : hi! Can you do one where Connor and y/n bump into each other at Shawn’s Grand Rapids concert and they say sorry. Then she goes back to her seat and he asks a security guard to go find her. He finds her and brings her backstage to see Connor and they properly meet each other and exchange numbers. He has to leave the next day and he promises to reunite with her at the Detroit concert. The day arrives and they go on a date and then he kisses her and they become a couple.

I loved this idea sm!! It turned out longer than I expected and I changed it up a bit but I hope you like it xx (also it’s like almost 2am where I am rn but the coffee from today is not letting me sleep d o n e)

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Word count: 3.8k -ish

“I cannot believe you made me drive all the way here” You grumbled in exhaustion as you plopped down on the bed, face down on the pillow “I’m fucking tired”

Amber laughs from beside you and poked your side “Come on, y/n! We couldn’t get tickets for the Detroit show so this is the next best alternative” She rolled her eyes playfully “At least say thank you! Remember how long it took me to find someone who was reselling these tickets?”

You spoke up, your voice muffled by the pillow “Thank you, best friend”

You lifted your head and shot her a look “Still wouldn’t kill you to drive for half the journey, you know?”

She rolled her eyes again, “I’ll drive tomorrow, okay? Now stop complaining so much! We’re seeing Shawn in a few hours and it still hasn’t hit me yet”

“Right?” You gushed dreamily “We’ve waited a whole year for this and I cannot believe it’s really happening”

Amber nodded in agreement “You can take a nap if you want to, babe. We don’t leave for the arena in a couple of hours”

You let out a groan and sat up lazily “I want to but I’ve got that assignment to work on. I should at least do some research for it”

“You brought your uni work with you?” Amber asked amusedly “Who the hell even are you?”

“I have that stupid proposal Professor Smith wants us to submit next Monday” You rolled your eyes as you walked over to the table where you left your shoulder bag “I haven’t started anything and I would be so screwed if I delayed it anymore”

“Right,” Amber nodded “Lily said he’s a nightmare, huh?”

“The absolute worst” You snorted “I saw a coffee shop across the street so I’m just going to grab a cup and work there. What time do we want to leave again?”

“Around 5 pm?” She suggested “We can grab dinner first then take a cab to the arena. I don’t think driving is an option for us”

“Sounds good” You nod “I’ll be back by 4pm to shower and change then we’ll head out”

“Take care, babe!” She called after you as you walked out of the hotel room.

When you got to the coffee shop, it was quiet as there weren’t that many customers inside the place.

“Hi!” The cashier greeted cheerfully as you walked up to the front “What can I get you?”

“Can I get your biggest size of hot latte with extra shot?” You asked, letting your eyes wonder to the chiller where they displayed different muffins and pastries “And a blueberry muffin for having here, please”

She nodded in respond, picking up a paper cup and a sharpie pen “Your name?”

“y/n”

“Okay, so that’s $6 in total” The cashier said, punching in the buttons on the cash register.

You unzipped your bag, shuffling through your belongings for your purse. As you couldn’t detect it in your hand, you begin to grow nervous because you were starting to look like a completely idiot for walking into the coffee shop without your wallet.

The cashier picked up on your expression and you could see the annoyed look on her face as you took your time. You sighed heavily, “You know what, forget my order. I’m really sorry”

Out of nowhere, someone came up beside you and placed his card on the table as he spoke “Can I get a large iced americano and I’ll pay for whatever she ordered”

The cashier nodded; her mood instantly returned to cheerful as she took the card from the table.

You turn your head to thank the stranger and when you finally did; you were caught off-guard. The man who stood beside you was incredibly handsome, probably the most good-looking guy you’ve ever met. And not to mention; his set of eyes were the prettiest shade of blue you’ve ever came across.

“T-Thank you” You stuttered out, cheeks turning rose-y pink because you were probably staring at him longer than you should have.

“And your name?” The cashier interrupted before he could even speak.

“Connor” He glanced at the cashier for a second then turning to you, with a smile forming on his face “And you’re welcome”

“Here’s your card and you can wait for your order at the other end” The cashier handed Connor the receipt and his credit card, flashing him a smile in the process.

You slowly trailed behind Connor as he walked to the pick-up counter.

“You really didn’t have to pay for me” You shyly spoke up as you two stood side by side, waiting for your orders “But thanks again… Connor, right?”

Connor nods, “Hey, it’s not a problem at all”

“You can give me your details and I could venmo you the money later?”

He chuckled and shake his head “Honest to God, we’re good. You don’t owe me anything. I insist”

You looked at him hesitantly. Why was he being so nice when he didn’t even know you? “Okay….” You dragged before holding your hand out “I’m y/n, by the way”

Connor accepts your shake, grinning as he said “Pretty name for a pretty girl”

You blushed furiously at his compliment “Thank you, that’s very nice of you”

“Okay, I’ve got a hot latte and blueberry muffin for y/n” The barista placed the tray on the table “And an iced americano for Connor”

“That’s us, thanks you” Connor said politely to the barista, grabbing his cup off the tray “Well, y/n, this has been nice but I really gotta run”

“Right,” You nod “Thanks again for the drink. I wish I could return the kind gesture to you, though”

He flashed you a smile “Next time!” Connor said as he started heading for the door.

You called after him in confusion “I don’t live here!”

Connor turned around, smirking a little “I don’t too but if it’s meant to be, we’ll meet again!” He said, winking before he walked out of the shop.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Connor as you were in the middle of writing your proposal. What were the odds of you meeting someone so kind and insanely gorgeous like him?

But then you thought about it realistically and a frown appeared on your face. It’s me we’re talking about You thought to yourself My luck with guys is as good as zero. I don’t have his number and we’re both not from here. There’s no way I’d ever see him again.

xxx

“What the fuck?” Amber asked dumbfoundedly once you two were sat in your seats in the arena.

You were so engrossed in your work earlier at the coffee shop today; you didn’t notice you were late to meet Amber back in your hotel room and was rushing to get ready for the concert. You only brought up your little cute meet with Connor to Amber when you were waiting to get into the arena.

“So, he just left?” She pressed “No number or whatsoever?”

You sigh, shaking your head “Nope. Just told me if it’s meant to be then we’ll meet again”

“We don’t even live here, how the hell is that going to happen?”

“That’s what I said!” You pouted “Whatever, I don’t care. There’s no way I’d ever meet him again”

“How cute was he?” Amber smirked “Like really cute? On a scale of 1 to Shawn?”

You shrugged, “He’s definitely up there with Shawn, for sure. Can’t believe this is happening to me. My luck with guys fucking sucks, Am”

“Awww, babe” She cooed “I’m sorry that happened, sweets. But I promise; you are going to meet someone!”

You rolled your eyes at her attempt to cheer you up “I highly doubt that, Am, but thanks for the kind words”

“Hey, I kind of need to go to the bathroom” Amber announced a few moments later “Do you think I still have time before Alessia’s set?”

“I think so” You answered, checking the time on your phone “We’ve got about 20 minutes or so. I need to go as well so let’s quickly go and come back”

After standing in que for about 10 minutes, you and Amber were finally set to head back inside the arena. You could already see the doors were flooding with fans entering, groaning to yourself because you’d have to wait again to get in.

You were talking to Amber; not really looking where you were going when suddenly someone bumped into your shoulder but thankfully not strong enough to make you fall and look like an idiot in front of everyone.

“I’m so sorry!” The person quickly said and you swore you’ve heard his voice before. Looking up, your jaws nearly dropped to the floor when you saw who was standing in front of you, holding a camera in his hand.

Connor blinked a couple of times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He looked at you amusedly, stuttering out your name “y/n?”

“Connor?” You asked unbelievably with wide eyes “What… What are you doing here?”

He held his camera up, indicating his purpose of being here tonight “Working for Shawn”

“Wait a second,” Amber butted in, interrupting the moment as she looked between you and Connor “Connor? This is the meet cute Connor you were talking about?” She asked shockingly.

He caught on her words, smirking at you “Meet cute Connor, huh?” He teased.

“Shut up!” You hissed to Amber, nudging her ribs lightly so she would get the signal to back away. She raised her hands defensively and took a few steps back.

“I didn’t know you worked with him” You admitted shyly.

Connor chuckled “Well, we didn’t really get to say much to each other so it may have slipped my mind, y/n. Where are you sat, by the way?”

“Section 107, row A” You answered.

“Oh cool” He nods “I’m sorry but I’ve gotta run now… Can I come see you later?” He asks hopefully.

You nod without hesitation “Yeah, I’d really like that”

He waved to you once last time before he sprints down the hall. You walked up to Amber, who was giving you a look “What?”

“You never told me the meet cute Connor is Connor Brashier, dumbass!” Amber hissed, slapping your shoulder.

“You know him?” You asked amusedly as you two got in the end of the line to enter the arena again.

“How the hell do you not know him?” She retorts, clearly offended that you didn’t have a clue who he was “He’ s Shawn’s videographer! Everyone knows him, y/n!”

“I’m sorry” You answered defensively “I don’t spend that much time on Twitter, you know that!”

“What did he say?” Amber asked “Did he finally gave you his number? Are you two going to go out? Are you gonna get married?”

“Amber, shut up!” You cried “1. He didn’t give me his number, 2. We’re not even going out so there’s definitely no weddings, thank you very much and 3. He said he’d come by later”

“That’s so cute!” She cooed “He likes you!”

You blushed “He doesn’t even know me, Am. How the hell could he like me?”

Amber rolled her eyes “And? It’s probably love at first sight or whatever”

xxx

Connor could not believe it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you ever since he left the coffee shop and he was 99.9% sure he was never going to see you again since neither of you lived in Grand Rapids.

I’m an idiot He thought to himself Why didn’t I just ask for her number instead of saying ‘if it’s meant to be, we’ll meet again!’? You’re a dumbass, Connor. Did you really think you lived in a Disney fantasy?

But then it really did happen. He bumped into you again in the place he’d least expect and he’s sure the universe was trying to tell him something about this girl, and who was he to deny that? He didn’t even know a thing about you, besides your name, and he already was attracted to you. Was that normal?

Connor was actively moving around; running from one end to another to get different shots of Shawn from multiple angels for the documentary they were in the process of creating. Every time he moved to a new position; his eyes scanned through the crowd in hopes to find you there.

He finally caught a glance of you when Shawn was doing his set at stage B. You were singing along to ‘Like To Be You’ loudly with the crowd, waving your hand in the air from left to right; the lit-up wristband illuminating a soft pink shade from your wrist.

Connor wasn’t going to miss this opportunity again. He ran up to the tech booth and so happens stumbled across a pen and Shawn’s set list for the night. He ripped off a small part of the paper and scribbled down meet me backstage later? x Connor then folded it neatly.

He would’ve walked up to you there and then to pass it to you but Shawn’s fans started to recognize him and adored him in the fandom that he didn’t think it was a good idea. So, he went up to the nearest security guard, Mike, and slipped the paper in his hand.

“Do you see that girl in section 107 at the front row, wearing the blue sweater?” Connor asked loudly as the guard looked over to the said section and finally spotted you, nodding “Pass this to her and escort her to backstage during the last intermittent break?”

Mike nodded and wondered off to your spot. From a distance, Connor could see the confusion written all over your face but when he pointed to Connor’s direction, he saw a smile forming on your face as you nodded.

xxx

During the last break, Mike escorted you backstage and you nervously trailed after him. You could feel your heart beating at an irregular pace in your chest. You didn’t even know this boy and he was giving you all sorts of feelings.

Down the hall, you finally spotted him. He sat on a large box, his equipment right beside him. And when his eyes landed on your person, his smile widens.

“Thanks, Mike” Connor told the security guard who only nodded in reply then wondered off.

“So, why have I been summoned backstage?” You asked teasingly “Are you going to drag me through the backdoors and have me killed, Connor?”

Connor rolled his eyes “Like I’d ever kill a pretty lady like you, y/n”

“Where are you from?” He asked a few moments later.

“I’m studying in Detroit” You responded as you crossed your arms over your chest “My best friend and I were trying to get tickets for the Detroit show last year but it sold out quickly so this was our next best alternative”

“Well, I’m glad that happened” Connor smiled, before adding shyly “Sucks that you had to travel a distance but I did meet you twice today, and I guess that’s fate”

Okay he is definitely flirting.

You nodded in agreement, smiling “Yeah I guess that’s fate”

“Okay, so, you owe a coffee date” He announced, pulling out his phone from his pocket “But only when we get to Detroit in August because I leave Grand Rapids tomorrow. Deal?”

You took the phone out of his hand, and pretended to think about it for a second, clearly teasing him “I don’t remember saying I’d go on a date with you, though”

“It’s been decided, y/n” Connor smirked “When you said ‘I wish I could return the kind gesture to you’ a few hours ago”

“Did I?” You faked a gasp as you begin to type your number in his phone “I don’t really recall saying that but if you insist on this little date then I guess I’ll have to go along with it, huh?”

“Guess you do” He teased, retrieving the device from your phone.

xxx

You and Amber finished your last class together and was walking out of campus to head back to your dorm after having back to back classes for the past 5 hours. You weren’t in the mood to do anything else besides sleep at this point.

“Are you going to that party tonight?” Amber asked as you two walked down the steps outside the main entrance “The one at Kim’s?”

“I don’t think so,” You groaned sleepily “I just want to order pizza tonight and watch a bunch of movies on Netflix. Sounds like a deal?”

Amber nodded without hesitation until she saw the sight in front of her. She turned to you, smirking “y/n, you might want to reconsider your plans”

“Why?” You asked confusingly before your eyes trailed to where she was looking at. Your jaws dropped at the sight of him standing not too far away from you, with a bouquet of flowers in his hand, instead of being on the tour bus.

That little shit.

“I, uhm-,”

Amber rolled her eyes playfully at your shocked state and nudged you forward “Stop being a weirdo, idiot!”

You slowly approached him, noticing his smile widening as you got closer “Hi” You said softly.

“Hey, there” He greeted sweetly “You’re looking kind of shocked there, y/n. Are you okay?” Connor asked with a grin.

You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck; squishing the flowers between your bodies. Connor chuckled and wrapped his arms around you “I missed you too, honey”

“You lied to me!” You whined, slapping his chest playfully after pulling away from his embrace “Still on the road,” You air quoted his text message from half an hour ago “Really?” You asked in annoyance.

“It’s obviously called surprises” He rolled his eyes playfully, then his eyes trailed over your shoulder, greeting your best friend who he’s met frequently over Facetime calls and grown to be friends with “Hi Amber!”

“Hey, Con” Amber smiles as she stood beside you “So, I see that you and y/n have plans for the evening so I’m going to head home and catch up on sleep” She announced as she trailed her eyes down to the bouquet “I can take those home for y/n and put them in a vase if you want?”

“That would be great, thanks Am” Connor nodded gratefully, handing it to her. He held his arm for you to take “Shall we go?”

“I guess I don’t have a choice” You exaggerated a sigh as he rolled his eyes playfully at you. You looped your arm through his then waved to Amber “Bye Am!”

“Have fun you love birds!” She teased before walking in the other direction.

2 hours later, you and Connor were full from having burgers at your favourite diner and were just wondering around town as you showed him your favourite places to shop and etc.

You finally took him to the big park in your campus neighbourhood and led him to your favourite spot by the big oak tree, where you spent your free times reading, listening to music and just surrounding yourself with nature.

“So, how’s the tour?” You asked as you two sat by side, leaning back against the trunk of the tree “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s going great” Connor answered without hesitation “A little tired from all the staying up I have to do but I’m doing what I love, so I can’t complain”

“Do you have that much to edit?” You frowned “Can’t they let you continue the next day or something?”

“That’s totally my decision, y/n” He chuckled “They’re not forcing me to do whatever. I just prefer to get everything done on the same day so when I go through it again the next day, I can cut and edit some things that I end up not liking”

“Can you try to cut down the staying up till 4/5am, though?” You asked softly “It’s not good for your health, Con. You know that, right?”

Here’s the thing. Everyone who knew you or Connor separately knew you both weren’t in a relationship from the way you talked about each other. But they also knew that didn’t necessarily mean that you were single. After that night in Grand Rapids, you and Connor texted and FaceTime each other almost every day. You two got to know each other better and discovered habits of one another, and may have developed feelings for each other in that process.

Crazy huh? To be liking someone you’ve only met once? But to y/n and Connor, it was different. It already seemed like they were together and were in a long-distance relationship because neither party went on dates after that night.

You could say they were taken by each other without actually putting a label on their relationship.

“I’ll try” Connor promised.

And at that moment, when Connor was looking at you up-close, instead of behind his laptop screen; seeing that beautiful smile on your face in real life gave him the courage to speak up “Can….,” He swallowed his saliva and nervously continued “Can I kiss you?”

You nodded shyly as he leaned in closer to you and you mirrored his actions; feeling his nose bumped yours slightly before you felt his lips pressed against yours softly.

You’ve had your fair shares of kisses but damn. Connor was one heck of a good kisser.

It feels like everything has stopped and while you could hear kids laughing and running around in the background, it felt like it was just you and Connor in the world.

You rest your hand on his cheek after as he rests his forehead against yours. Connor’s hand was on your clothed thigh, rubbing small circles on the fabric of your pants.

You bite your lower lip, a smile forming on your face as you stared into his eyes “Wow”

Connor laughs softly and nodded in agreement “Wow indeed”

“I really like you, y/n” He added “I’m crazy for you and I’d really like it if you would be my girlfriend”

“Con,” You frowned slightly “How do we make it work? You’re busy traveling the world and I’m here in Detroit”

“We can figure it out later, y/n” Connor said reassuringly “All I know is that I don’t want this with anyone else and I knew that instantly from the day we met”

“It’s fate, isn’t it?” He continued when you didn’t say anything “It sounds unrealistic to believe how we met but I can’t deny there’s something going on between us”

Connor laced his fingers through yours, “We have something special… And I don’t want to lose it before we even give it a try” He said softly.

He’s right and you know it. You didn’t want to lose whatever it is that’s going on between you two.

“Okay”

He looked at you for clarification “Okay?”

You smiled, bringing your intertwined hands up to your lip and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckle “Okay, I’ll be your girlfriend”

#connor brashier #connor brashier imagines #connor brashier x reader #con #imagines #teen fiction

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scardnbroken · 5 years

Text

Name: Vaas Montenegro

Name meaning: Montenegro= black Mountai. The name Vaas derives from Servaas, the Dutch form of the Latin name Servatius, which again derives from Servatus, which means "saved, redeemed".

Age: 27

Gender: Male

Ethnicity: Rakyat/Hispanic

Nationality: Rakyat/ Rook Islander

What time do they usually get up in the morning?: Anytime. Vaas has 0 sleep pattern. He passes out when he wants and how he wants and where he wants and the same goes by when he wakes up.

What is their morning routine?: IF Vaas isn’t passed out or having the worst kind of hangover, he is usually up early exercising his power by abusing or tormenting mentally some of the slaves in his camps. Vaas’ Morning routine is never truly the same. It must ALWAYS be different.

How long does it take them to get ready in the morning?: 0 time. Vaas sleeps in his clothes all the time besides the rare of occasion here and there. All he really has to do is quickly gel up his mohawk which doesn’t take long at all.

What time to do they usually go to bed?: any time. Vaas, again, has no real pattern to his sleeping or waking hours of the day/night. It always varies depending on the drugs he may have consumed.

Do they fall asleep easily? Do they stay asleep easily?: Vaas has insomnia, which goes hand in hand with his paranoia. If he hasn’t had a large amount of drugs and passed out, its more then likely he will toss and turn, sleeping from 1-3 hours before waking up and doing something and then trying to return back to sleep.

What position do they sleep in?: Mostly on his back outstretched or on either his sides curled up in a fetal position

What is their handwriting like?: Terrible. Vaas has little to no use for writting down on something and his background, he was taught only how to fight. So writing wise....its a mess.

Do they prefer typing or writing things?: Writing. Vaas sucks as Computers and if he uses a mobile phone to text its always terrible.

What form of art (i.e. sculpture, embroidery, painting, etc) do they like?: The kind that involves torture and blood.

Are they an artist themselves? What kind of art do they do?: Vaas like sto think so, yes. After all he loves leaving up ‘presents’ for his sister to come find, dangling i nthe tree tops of the jungle, or ‘painting’ over the ancient temples.

What are some of their favorite books?: Vaas has 0 time for reading.

What genres of movies do they like?: Horror, comedy, action.

What music genres do they enjoy?: Techno, Dark wave or synthwave, Music from the 80′s-90s of early rock and roll, but mostly heavy techno like Skrillex.

What are some of their favorite musical acts?: Vaas couldn’t careless about this unless it involved him, which there are none to be found.

Do they prefer their music to sound a certain way?: Yes! It must be loud, it must be deafening. Vaas wants music to ‘enhance’ ones trip or to drown out certain sounds that piss him off.

Are they a musician themselves?: HELL NO!

Do they enjoy music from certain decades? If so, which decades?: Yes, rock is mostly from the 80′s-90′s and techno usually needs to be modern and up beat.

What are some of their favorite pieces of clothing/outfits in their wardrobe? If not applicable, what do you think would be some of their favorite pieces of clothing/outfits?: A red wife beater shirt, some army cargo pants, some former army attire such as the slacks, boots and holsters. You know, exactly what he is wearing because he has nothing else he would rather wear.

How much are they willing to spend on clothes?: 0, Vaas will not pay a single dim for clothing. He’d rather beat the shit out of someone to get their clothes then pay.

What colors and patterns are prominent in their wardrobe? What colors and patterns do they wear the most often?: RED, lots and lots of RED.

What kind of clothes do they like?: Exactly what he is wearing. Its the ‘Pirate style’.

Do they wear makeup? What type do they wear?: FUCK NO! Vaas is not a makeup person. Try and you die.

Do they wear/do you associate them with clothes from a certain decade? If so, which?: the only thing he wears in association with anything is the red shirt to symbolize his association as a Pirate.

What font/fonts do you associate with them?: Chiller font or the Far cry font

What colors do you associate with them?:Red, usually dark crimson, green or gold for his eyes.

What natural elements (geographical features like mountains, animals, seasons, locations, plants, etc.) do you associate with them: Fire for his rage and uncontrollable nature. His season would be summer, for the stinking hot kind of weather Rook island gets. Vaas I also associate with tropical islands for the most obvious of all things. But animal? Vaas to me is like a dangerous predatory cat. A Tiger maybe, but a jaguar or Panther mostly.

#【tagged meme】

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nextbigaiello · 5 years

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Count Floyd...Why Was He Just EVERYWHERE!?

Okay so like I should preface that I have no problem with Count Floyd. On the contrary. I actually love Count Floyd and the fact that SCTV news anchor Floyd Robertson was his alter ego. The two could’ve just been two separate Joe Flaherty characters that had the same name, but they actually went out of their way to make the connection, and I absolutely love that. I already loved Floyd and his clear superiority over Earl Camembert, and adding onto his character with another opposing side really upgraded him to one of my favorite characters in SCTV. Both are hilarious characters. Floyd’s straight and narrow need to mock Earl and just tell the news for the adults while trying to be a recovering alcoholic, and his switch to a goofy and child friendly who knows he’s shelling out shit on Saturday nights make the character more than just one note. It really makes me happy when they acknowledge that both Floyds are the same Floyd in universe. The first time was in the very first edition of Monster Chiller Horror Theatre (from series 1, episode 18), where it was clearly mentioned in the opening credits: "With Floyd Robertson as Count Floyd." During one newscast, Earl gave a heartfelt testimonial to Floyd who had been at Rolling Hills Rehabilitation Center for the past year, mentioning that in addition to his news career, he had delighted children for years as Count Floyd. Another was in the very last edition of SCTV News (from series 6, episode 17), where an obviously inebriated Robertson showed up late to the newscast after a Monster Chiller Horror Theatre taping, still wearing his Count Floyd makeup. During that broadcast, he announced that Monster Chiller Horror Theatre's sound engineer was retiring, thus completely upstaging Camembert's announcement that he was retiring from the newscast; which is my favorite moment of this. Floyd Robertson being Count Floyd was a favorite fun fact of mine. But, the two characters started to separate and one got more attention than the other.

Sure! As is to come with great characters! Count Floyd had a powerful personality that was much stronger than regular Floyd Robertson, who was typically just the straight man to Earl’s antics. It is to be expected that more extravagant and formulaic characters would be more popular and thus be used more often. There’s nothing wrong with this. It just personally saddens me in this particular case because I really liked that Floyd Robertson was Count Floyd and had another side to him that could be let loose, and they just kind of threw that away making me wonder why they would go out of their way to combine the two if one side was going to have more of a separate impact. I don’t know. But don’t think that I hated Count Floyd because of his popularity boost. No no. He was still great; with his werewolf howl that he had and I never noticed as to why a vampire would howl nor seemed to care until Joe Flaherty on a podcast decided to call everyone out for not realizing it and now I feel dumb.....thanks Joe. But Count Floyd and Monster Chiller Horror Theatre was great! But Count Floyd was used A LOT with other projects and I don’t know necessarily why.

In SCTV, it didn’t bother me that Count Floyd became his own entity and focused on Monster Chiller Horror Theatre and being scary more often. But it was when he spun off into other media that I started to wonder....why the hell is Count Floyd in this?

Count Floyd (1982):

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So this is a mini album....a VERY MINI ALBUM. There’s only four songs and they’re all strange. It's basically a comedy album and it sells that really well. I just don’t know exactly why they made it, especially in the height of SCTV. But prominent writers Dick Blasucci, Mike Short, and Paul Flaherty helped write and produce this with Joe, so there was some strength with this. It's just a strange little thing (literally) that kind of just escapes under the radar. If you want to check it out, go ahead. But don’t use it to nod off and get a lot of work done.

“The Weapon”, Rush (1984): https://youtu.be/iTBx0P0zOqA

Now I just stumbled on this today, but I feel like it should have a small mention. It’s not crazy like the other stuff I’ll talk about. In fact, its really cool and dope. It's interesting because this is just after SCTV, and we know Bob and Doug McKenzie were able to have Geddy Lee on their album in ‘81 due to Moranis knowing Lee from school, and we all know just how popular the McKenzies were and still kind of are. But Count Floyd had an opening video for the song “The Weapon” on Rush’s Signals and Grace Under Pressure tours, and it's a nice little fit. They use him well and it looks like everyone had fun.

The Completely Mental Misadventures Of Ed Grimley (1988)/ Cartoon Planet (90s): https://youtu.be/DcNi9qoaKqM

This is an interesting choice. Not a bad choice. Just an interesting one. The Completely Mental Misadventures Of Ed Grimley is really fun and weird and I highly recommend seeing it if you haven’t already. Even for an SCTV fan, it's very weird. Each episode actually pauses and takes time out to dedicate time to Count Floyd, which are live action segments against the cartoon world. It was no longer about scary movies and 3-D glasses, but a show about Count Floyd telling scary stories to an audience of kids who would mock him and tell him he wasn’t scary. But Count Floyd knew that the child friendly content wasn’t scary, and he always tried to make it sound scary so he could get paid.....that’s what his character was. But now he’s almost insulted now, when really the real Floyd could tell those kids to take a flying leap if he could. The reason for Count Floyd being on the show is because its Ed Grimley’s favorite show. Fair enough. I just think this starts a “Count Floyd is really just for kids” idea. Not that we wasn’t supposed to be something kids couldn’t watch, but Count Floyd and especially SCTV was something for all ages, and Count Floyd was meant as kind of a parody of those kinds of child friendly/spooky hosts from the 50s and 70s, so it wasn’t to be too sincere. But this started the trend of child friendly Count Floyd, and it would only go downhill from here.

Cartoon Planet just recycled the segments years later so they could have content. It features the characters from Space Ghost: Coast to Coast in a way that they’re trying to connect the two, but its clunky.

Making Real Funny Home Videos (1990): https://youtu.be/wLCDwrLCOVA

God this fucking thing-SO...I hate this. ‘Why’ is the biggest question I have for this. I don’t know the reasoning for this. All I know is that its dumb Count Floyd camp.

Basically what it is, is a “how to” style video in which Count Floyd....fully as Count Floyd, mugs to the camera for 30min and fails at teaching people how to make America’s Funniest Home Video videos. I’m annoyed by this VHS tape because this completely ruins the Floyd lore and makes Count Floyd this somewhat unstable and sad man. He has a full ass family; in SCTV he was “living with a girl and he wasn’t even married”, but also alluded to having a nephew. He never gets out of the character, and it kind of seems like he just kidnapped this family. Its less charming because this isn’t the same character from SCTV. This is a mad man who thinks he’s a vampire.

Look it isn’t the worst thing ever like I’m making it out to be. Its just character assassination in an extreme sense and its not even that funny. But I would at least check it out once if you want to see a strange little VHS score.

Smoke Detectives with Count Floyd (1990): https://youtu.be/2xb_My1HN6c

-_-

Must Be Santa (1999): https://youtu.be/1uXB9IR9vOw

A Canadian lifetime movie from 1999 has Count Floyd in it for a rough estimate of ten minutes. I also found this today. I skipped through it just so I could see how big a part he plays in the movie, and again....he doesn’t. The reason he’s there is because the main character’s name is Floyd Count, and the North Pole or whatever tries to do research on him because he’s like the new Santa, but Count Floyd shows up on the monitor instead and won’t shut the fuck up. It is a dumb cameo because its probably to be expected that they called the main character Floyd Count just so they could make this joke. But Count Floyd doesn’t do anything except howl and do intros to Monster Chiller Horror Theatre. A small cameo, but a dumb one nonetheless.

“Nightlife”, The Wet Secrets (2014): https://youtu.be/zYV1K3wyCnQ

It took a while, but this is a really good Count Floyd cameo. Well, I shouldn’t say its a Count Floyd cameo, more that its actually a Joe Flaherty cameo in which he plays a vampire. The music video is really cool and I appreciate it on a greater level because it kind of shows the difference between the past and the present and getting older, and how everything sucks, and especially that Joe Flaherty doesn’t need all this youthful shit that we have now. It's a really great video and song, and the end of the video gets me every time!

A Conclusion

Count Floyd is a really great character. I love his howl, his painted on widows peak, and his desire to sell kids cheap 3-D glasses for a stupidly large price. I love the fact that he was this alter ego to his staunch opposite, and the two could coexist together. I’m just annoyed that there were too many changes to cash in on popularity. If Count Floyd and Floyd Robertson were still the same person, Count Floyd wouldn't have been in those kid oriented projects. Because I like to think that Floyd Robertson has dignity (I mean as much as he can being an alcoholic). I like to think that Joe Flaherty is above this, and I think my grievances mostly stem from that.

No one talks about Joe Flaherty in the same sense of every other cast member from SCTV or the Second City stage. Sure hardcore comedy people will regale him as comedy gold, but that’s because he is. But there’s only so much I can take when I can only describe him to people as the dad from Freaks and Geeks and the “Jackass” guy from Happy Gilmore. And I’m not discrediting those roles at all. I love Freaks and Geeks and the part he plays in the show, I just wanted him to do more with that show! And Happy Gilmore is a really good movie and I actually really like that he’s given a somewhat big role in it. Joe Flaherty just flies under the radar for most people and it makes me sad. Especially when a lot of movies he does get to be a part of, they’re usually shit (Dogmatic, A Pig’s Tale, Home On The Range), or no one has ever heard of them or acknowledges him in the small role he plays (Going Berserk, Stripes, Snowboard Academy, Used Cars, Back To The Future Part II, etc..). Sesame Street Presents: Follow That Bird is my favorite movie of all time (sharing the #1 spot with My Blue Heaven) and Joe Flaherty is a big reason as to why that movie is continuously great. I just wish he got more recognition, and had film and tv roles that weren’t so cheap. He’s a comedy icon, and I want him to be treated as such. Count Floyd was a great character for him, but so was Floyd Robertson...and Guy Caballero...and Sammy Maudlin...and Norman Gorman, and Big Jim McBob, and so many others!

In the end, I just want Joe Flaherty and his creations to be cherished fondly. I want the character of Count Floyd to be the same Floyd from the very beginning with no hang ups and children to kick him while he’s down. Because then I know that comedy can still be just as funny throughout the years without aggressive changes that shoots for too low or too general an audience. Everyone can laugh at Count Floyd trying to describe the plot to the lost footage of “Blood Sucking Monkeys From West Mifflin Pennsylvania”, but I can’t say the same for adult child Count Floyd. To take from Guy Caballero and his wheelchair, all Count Floyd needs is some respect.

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shirt113 · 6 years

Text

Why I think the album “Goblin” by Tyler the Creator is his most innovative and creative work.

Tyler is known for his story telling and lyricism. Every album he has released introduces a plot and some of them introduces an entire set of characters (see Bastard, Goblin, and Wolf). They all display his emotion and in his earlier works, he was not hesitant to share his deepest secrets and thoughts. The album “Goblin” displays all of this perfectly. This album takes place in a therapy session (or multiple sessions). His therapist is someone named Dr. TC, which translates to Dr. (T)yler the (C)reator. Every song is a different emotion or thought that is all told through Tyler’s point of view. The album shows off multiple characters as well such as Dr. TC, Tron Cat, Ace, ETC. I’ll go through every song on the album and show exactly what emotion is presented in each song to make it easier to understand where I am coming from.

1| Goblin: Stress and Depression due to his fame from his “Bastard” album

2| Yonkers: His descent into madness/ introduction to his more gruesome thoughts that he has.

3| Radicals: Fuck Shit attitude where he doesn’t care about anything and just wants to do whatever he feels like.

4| She: Lust... Tyler goes into detail about all the things he would do to this girl that he wishes he could be with. From doing nice things with her to straight up rape. This was made apparent in the 2nd half of the song where the song only plays in one ear with headphones on, but it alternates between ears. During this time he is talking about the things he would do with her, in one ear it’s all the nice things he wishes he could do and in the other he talks about killing and raping her, basically implying that he would do anything to be with her. Although the tone of the entire song is beautiful and not as raw and raunchy as his other songs.

5| Transylvania: This song displays an overall disrespect for women and how he could do all kinds of terrible things to them. He compares himself to Dracula constantly to show that he is a monster that is lusting for blood.

From now you can tell that in every song he is descending further and further into madness and insanity.

6| Nightmare: More raw and “nightmare”ish while on the topic of how his childhood was ruined by his parents and tries to justify that this is the cause of his mental instability. (We also see more engagement from Dr. TC in this song)

7| Tron Cat: This is where the character Tron Cat is introduced. Tron Cat is a voice in Tyler’s head. The previous songs hinted at dark thoughts but they weren’t that strong. In this song it is Tron Cat talking about all the horrible, torturous, and gory things that he wants to do. Including amputation, rape, torture, and kidnap.

8| Her: Lust... This song is a break from all the rawness of the other songs. Although the longer the song goes on the more obsessed he seems with this girl that he is talking to. Then it’s revealed that they aren’t dating, in fact the girl has a boyfriend. She breaks up with them and Tyler is about to make his move, but right when he does he sees her kissing her old boyfriend. Then depression and anger sets in as he knows she isn’t into him.

9| Sandwitches: Very apparent anger is seen in this song as he speaks heavily of violence.

10| Fish: More playful, but still reintroduces previous topics of rape

11| Analog: A lot chiller mood describing the perfect date with a girl and just overall having a good time.

12| Bitch Suck Dick: This introduces Tyler’s friends: Jasper, Dolphin, and Taco. This song is more about flexing, although it seems very satirical. It makes fun of modern rap that only raps about money and fame in contrast to Tyler’s emotional journey. But in the end Tyler kills his friends ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

13| Window: This song introduces the rest of Tyler’s friends and it takes place in a therapy session. His friends are there to calm him down and make him feel better. The entirety of the song has a very depressing sound, despite all the nice things Tyler’s friends talk about, it still has a very melancholy tone. Tyler sees them as fake and impulsively kills them, then quickly regrets it and spirals into self loathe.

14| AU79: This is an instrumental interlude, presumably what is going on in Tyler’s mind after killing his friends. The moments up until this point have been really tense and depressing... Killing his friends was the result of all of his emotions building up, and he needed a release.

15| Golden: Dr. TC admits that Tyler has some problems. In this song Tyler speaks about everything that has happened and how he wishes he could just end it all (through suicide). Dr. TC and Tyler are going back and forth the entire time, Dr. TC is being the voice of reason and Tyler is still in his state of madness. At the end Tyler is being escorted out for being too unstable. Then Dr. TC reveals that Dr. TC, Tron Cat, Ace, Wolf Haley, and Tyler the Creator are all the same, they are all a part of his conscious.

There are an infinite amount of ways you could perceive the message of this album, but I have a few ideas.

The album very clearly shows his mental instability and dark thoughts that go on inside of his head. However, I think this makes Tyler sane. There is a certain hunger that we, as humans have... And that hunger is for violence, gore, and just overall things that would be considered terrible. It is completely normal for people to have these kind of thoughts, and if that hunger is not quenched it can sometimes lead people to be a little unstable.

Since none of this actually happens to Tyler in real life, we can assume that the entire album is told through his thoughts. And characters like Dr. TC are there to tell himself “why am I thinking these things, these aren’t okay”, but he still continues anyways.

I do not know the entire meaning of this album, and there is no way I can narrow it down to one answer, because it is more than that... I believe this album is innovative because it isn’t afraid to experiment with sensitive topics and it’s one of the few albums out there that go into detail on deep depression. It’s ability to tell a story with characters and a plot twist as if it were a movie, all while being a good album sound wise amazes me.

#tyler the creator #goblin

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incorrectmidc · 7 years

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50 Questions! Yaayyy~

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

Tagged by @theempresskaizer and since I can’t sleep (and I really love tagging games), here I am. Thank you, Ythmir! :) I feel you about your favourite pens btw. The only store that sells my favourite pen closed down recently here and the other store that sells it is in Manila. ;^;

1. What kind of food can’t you stand? AMPALAYA (bitter gourd). It was a traumatic experience. D:

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick? if my laptop would just stop malfunctioning every 2 weeks, it would be nice.

3. Have you got any useless talents? i play three different instruments, and it’s not useful now... i think. i really wanted to be either an astronaut or a musician when i was a kid. dad refused to let me enroll at a music school in favour of a “more prestigious” university (parents’ words) so i feel it’s kinda useless now.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be? ha! i’m an awesome procrastinator. is there even a word? lol. but srsly, i could be a good musician. if i just put effort into it. XD

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking - well, the concept of beauty is relative. my preferences are kuroba mario, cosplayers hikarin and syo seunghyo, kimura tatsunari, matt bomer

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid? my sister and i used to sneak into our parents’ room and play with our mom’s beauty kit, like we would mix the lotions, alcohols, colognes, powders and stuff while pretending to be scientists and whatnots. we even tried to eat our concoction, to see what it tastes like. xD good thing someone saw us. lol.

7. What is something you’re proud of? i can learn anything if i just put my mind into it. i’m good at studying (my dad made sure of it lol).

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate? nosy. i don’t like nosy people. i’m more of a keep-to-myself person so i really loathe these kind of people.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower? both. tho i really don’t like to lead that much since it’s too much work. the laziest person i know is me btw. but i can be a leader when i absolutely have to.

10. What kind of student are/were you? high school, both the teacher’s pet and the kind they hate since i tend to speak my mind. college, i am the ordinary student who doesn’t have any clubs since it’s too troublesome.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life? yepppp!

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion clowns. i don’t like clowns. i hate mcdonald’s mascot.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable? yes. kei tsukishima of haikyuu!! especially. :P

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties? i don’t like parties. i never go to parties if i don’t have to. i hate large celebrations (birthdays, family and school reunions). i prefer the company of my closest friends and immediate family over parties. i only have 4 friends irl that i still keep in touch with tbh. on the other hand, drinking. i have yet to get drunk. lol. but when i have enough alcohol in me, i tend to become the philosopher. like, why do we even exist? are our existence significant or are we just a mere speck in this vast universe? yeah, that kind. oh, my friends and i usually go to karaoke when we get buzzed.

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone? i’m not even sure i have fallen in love yet. i get long-time crushes tho. in fact, i still like this certain guy since i was in 1st year college. XD

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends? the former. please refer to question 14 for the explanation lol

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak? my dad tells me i have a landfill for a room. lol. i don’t mind. it’s organised chaos. XD

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy my room, on a rainy day with no one else at home and i have unlimited internet connection and books and coffee. and did i just mention i’m alone?

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday? i don’t have one. not seeing myself getting married or having a child. i’m having another baby sister/brother soon tho so i think it’s enough. :D

20. What was your favorite book as a child? the two-can first encyclopedia series. i love the one that features the solar system.

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES A FIDGET SPINNER DO

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated fanfiction writers. i have nothing against fanarts but i would appreciate it if the same attention is given to fanfiction writers.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose? kimura tatsunari hehehe

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday? have the time, and the money, to visit japan and prague. and then go to russia. oh, travel the world. alone. XD

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat? depends on my mood. sometimes i just want to see the world burn.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in? what’s a fad?

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for? telenovelas. i wanna live like the heroine back then and now i try to forget all about it. XDD

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable? kindness is something i admire and at the same time so foreign to me. sure, i can be nice but i’m never kind. i will never be kind. i know this person who’s so kind to everyone and i wonder what it’s like to be like that.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.) i’m a hoarder of cute/pretty notebooks and pens so every year, during my birthday, my family and friends always have a new notebook/pen for me. i even got a fountain pen for my birthday last year which i haven’t used until now. XD

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones? yep. filipino/tagalog, english. this native dialect called cebuano and a little bit of ilonggo. i’m currently studying japanese (self-study cos paying for lessons is expensive). i’m shit at kanji tho.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside? in the city tho not at the center of it.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving? HAIKYUU!! my online bff has been convincing me to watch haikyuu!! for 4 years now and i was adamant at refusing cos i’m sure i’d hate it. i don’t even like volleyball. but when i watched it last year, i got hooked. now my main fandom is haikyuu!! //facepalm

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else? noooo. i don’t like being put on spotlight. lemme work quietly in the background.

34. Favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! i love seeing the decorations and the lights. i even go to malls just to stare at the decors and listen to christmas songs. i even have my own christmas tree in my room. it’s a small one tho. with christmas lights and all. hihihi. and also my birthday. i can do whatever i want on my birthday. nyahahaha

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously? i only have a plan when i’m writing. i don’t even know what i’m going to do with my life. orz.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) yes, there is, but i’d rather not forget it and experience it all over again. i’m content with the fuzzy feeling i get whenever i remember it. ^^

37. What hobbies do you have? playing games, going to cons, sleeping a lot, reading, and writing. my only extreme hobby is going mountain climbing. we even went once without any gears. it was fun but i’d rather not do something that unsafe again. o3o

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have? the ability to learn different languages easily. wait, how can this be mildly useful? or maybe change my hairstyle at will? lol

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you that i’m 26. srsly, when i go to transact with government offices in behalf of the company i’m working for, they always think i’m an intern. wth.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out this sounds silly, but putting back the chiller part of the fridge. i dislodged it once and i spent almost half an hour trying to put it back. XD

41. Worst injury you’ve had? i never had one. not a broken bone or anything. i only got hospitalized 2 times - when i was 2 and 9, respectively. and both because of dengue.

42. Any morbid fascinations? i like skulls and blowing zombies heads off. my most favourite game of all time is left 4 dead.

43. Describe your sense of humor corny and dry. sarcastic even.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose? in the gundam universe, like Cosmic Era, where people can live on another planet. i would relocate to saturn in a heartbeat.

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at being patient. patience is not my virtue.

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through an hour of jogging for a whole month to prepare myself (and increase the stamina) for a mountain climbing activity 2 years ago

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.) the ugly one. i don’t really like markings on my face.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist? for a pessimist, i’m pretty optimistic. (wait, is that a song? lol)

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you? tbh, compliments about writing and work are the ones i’m usually flattered with. tho i suck at accepting compliments.

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you this is a fact. i have a resting bitch face so people often feel i’m always irritated/annoyed by them.

you don’t have to do it if you don’t want tbh, but i’m tagging @lustfullyleocrawford @kakihoden @passengersaraht @emigotchi @leorysxi @oh-my-otome @spyroeden @acrispyapple @devanofficial @astridapples

#tagging game #tag me more #hihihi

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howmanypeoplereadytorockthehouse · 7 years

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tldr yall really need to stop being horrible

I feel like the reason murdoc originally treated 2d poorly (and them trying to fill in the gaps as to why he doesnt really do that anymore) is because theyre first and foremost, cartoons, and they wanted an antagonist/protagonist comedic situation due to not really having a lot of space for a true antagonist character. You have this characters that are all vastly different from each other with very rich personalities, and when they were taxed with the job of how they all met/came together/stay as a band/phase changes, they werent trying to make their relationships or situations too realistic, because the point of them being cartoons in the first place is that they are flexible in ways that a human band cant be. You have the base (the band), and the rest is just navigating a way to have their plot tie in with the album and have it make sense, but not COMPLETE sense, cause then it would be too constricting. They dont die, they certainly do whatever they want, and they make irrational decisions because its not really going to effect them mentally or physically. You ask them any question thats too demanding ie, why murdoc is less violent, why noodle doesnt have a significant other, and the answer is either vauge enough to fill in the blanks to keep the story somewhat linear, or avoids the question whatsoever. I think this is because to them whats more important is the album and its aesthetic, not the characters story themselves. Which is disappointing, but at the same time, they havent really had a full chance to let that happen. I see it A LOT with plastic beach, where you have this album, and this idea of what the album is about, and im sure they wanted to flesh it out just as much as they did with phase 1 and 2, possibly even more so, but budget and time and everything got in the way. We probably would have gotten something similar to rise of orge, an in depth look at characters reaction to the plot and their motivations and everything, but as we all know, we didnt. Thats probably why people are so skeptical of this phase, theres this big space of nothingness inbetween the two phases (due to that whole time they werent talking to each other), so to see them be essentially the same, but chiller, more positive, is an odd change to them somehow. Nobody really gets that the gorillaz are meant to be constantly changing, everybody wants to sit and critique the silliest things (ie, 2ds eyes or teeth, murdocs skin tone, noodles outfits), when we should just be appreciating that we have these characters to care about in the first place! Although i dont agree that they should have even done it in the first place, i understand why they would want that whole cat/mouse dynamic, and im glad they took the time to change it to something more positive, but what definitely definitely DEFINITELY doesnt help is all these people who are so quick to take everything they do as a real experience and get caught up on how murdoc used to act in previous phases, which hey, if you dont like murdoc youre entitled to an opinion! But hes not that kind of person anymore, and even more so, hes not even a person. They arent glorifying that he was abusive towards him, in fact the other characters tend to look down upon his faults and how he acts, and definitely dont take him seriously. What is more dangerous is the people here who DO glorify the abuse and even go to the point to romanticize it. Thats where its telling younger/new fans that abuse is normal and okay, because yeah jamie and damon do some questionable things (not saying that them being problematic isnt also important to discuss), but fans look at how their peers act more. And liking something thats problematic, understanding why its problematic, and learning from it is A LOT EASIER, NICER, AND MORE POSITIVE, than liking something problematic, liking/ignoring/normalizing that problematic aspect and then getting angry and defensive when someone points out that you PROBABLY SHOULDNT ACT LIKE THAT. i get it, someone putting you on the spot sucks, but usually when someone calls you out, its for a good reason, and not something to make excuses for.

#gorillaz #sorry i dont give a fuck about spelling #also call me out if i said anything too weird #theres a lot more than just this to talk about but this is the thing i see talked about the most

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homebrewtalk · 7 years

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Hefeweizen Yeast Selection Experiment

One of the beers that made me enter the hobby of brewing was a nice and fluffy Paulaner hefe-eeissbier. It was the first hefeweizen I tasted and I fell in love instantly with the style: phenolic, estery, wheaty, refreshing, bubbly… simply delicious.

Since then I tried to brew some examples of the style, using the materials I had at hand; good wheat and barley malts, good German hops and some dried yeast (WB-06). It didn’t go well. The beer was crystal clear (an accidental kristallweizen?) and the classic banana and clove were very, very subtle. Not my favorite brew. Then I tried another yeast, Lallemand’s Munich. Same results. I live in Mexico City so liquid strains were hard to find. I was really frustrated because I was brewing nice blondes, American wheats, IPA, stouts and so on, but couldn’t brew my favorite style… Until I found a guy that could bring me a good vial of White Labs bavarian weisse Yeast (WLP 380).

I was so excited that the next day after I had in my hands the vial, I brew 5 gals of weissebier. Pitched the yeast (made an overbuild to save yeast for later, just in case it was a good yeast) and waited anxiously. On bottling day, I tasted it and I was in heaven, but it is quite different to a fully carbed beer. After 8 days, I open the first bottle and I had some tears in my eyes. Nice and delicious phenols and esters in the air, with a nice haze and persistent head… I finally brewed a decent hefe!

Then I found that my supplier was selling a new yeast from Lallemand: Munich Classic. I was like “hey wait… why is there a Munich and also a Munich Classic?”. I did some research on the Lallemand’s website and found that the description was changed for Munich Yeast, and Munich Classic had what seems to be a real hefeweizen description. So, I decided it was time to do an experiment with 4 different yeasts that are meant for the style and really compare them:

Hefeweizen Yeast Experiment Recipe

Grains Hop Schedule Yeast

2.8 lbs Pilsen Malt

6 lbs Wheat malt

1 lb Melanoiden malt

.5oz Perle @60

WB-06 Fermentis Yeast

Munich Lallemand Yeast

Munich Classic Lallemand Yeast

WLP 380 WhiteLabs Yeast

Notes: Ferment at 72F.

Process

2 days before, I prepared a starter for the WLP 380 yeast (3rd generation), so it was healthy and awake for the pitch. Then on brew day, I did a BIAB (Brewing in a Bag) with very classic methods. I Mashed for 75 minutes at 153 Fahrenheit. Boiled for 60 minutes and Chilled with my copper coil immersion chiller.

I separated the wort in 4 little carboys. I pitched the yeast but taking into account that for a “good hefe” one must stress the yeast.

No oxygen (for the dried yeast is not that critical).

10% less yeast than recommended for the pitch rate.

I did it for all the samples by weighing the dried yeast (and rehydrating them) and by checking the volume of the slurry for the liquid one. I also like to create something like an “open fermentor” so I just put a foil over the mouth of each sample, no airlocks this time. All where fermenting 12 hours after the pitch, except the one with the Classic Munich; but it caught up the other ones 4 hours later.

I waited 2 weeks for them to be fully attenuated and checked that the fermentation was over. They stayed in a room where the temperature doesn’t come below 72 °F. The odors, during fermentation, were different:

WB-06: just a little spicy.

Munich: quite neutral, like using an American strain.

Munich Classic: sweet banana.

WLP 380: mostly clove and then a lot of sulfur.

Does the aroma indicate that in each of the samples I will find the banana, clove or sulfur respectively? After fermentation was over and it was time to bottle them (3.0 vols of CO2)

WB-06 / Munich / Munich Classic /WLP 380 respectively

After 2 weeks in the bottle, it was time to do a nice comparison like the pros: Aroma, Appearance, and Flavor. These are the results:

WB-06 / Munich / Munich Classic /WLP 380 respectively

WB-06 Fermentis Yeast

Aroma: A little fruitiness but not resembling banana nor bubblegum. Almost no clove, with a lot of yeasty, bready aroma. Appearance: Quite hazy with a nice pale orange color, a head that was big at the beginning but disappeared after a minute. Flavor: tart, a little fruity but not feeling the banana nor the clove, which are critical for the style. Not bitter just enough to balance the malts. Bready and grainy flavor with a silky mouthfeel, effervescent and dry finish, not sweet.

Munich Lallemand Yeast

Aroma: Quite neutral, like using an American strain. Bready, and yeasty aroma. Appearance: Quite hazy with a nice pale orange color, a head that was big at the beginning but disappeared after a minute. Very similar to the Fermentis sample. Flavor: A little tart, but overall very neutral with a very bold yeast and bready flavor. Banana and clove are nonexistent. Dry finish, not sweet.

Munich Classic

Aroma: Somehow sweet, banana and a little clove. These aromas disguise more the bready touch of the beer. Appearance: Same than the other samples, hazy and pale orange with more retention. Flavor: A little tart, not bitter, with some banana and some clove in there (more banana than clove). Esters and phenols are present and melt nicely with the grain bill, but somehow muted. Dry finish, not sweet at all.

WLP 380

Aroma: A lot of cloves, some apricot and a little sulfury note that disappeared after some minutes. Phenols cover the majority of the maltiness. Appearance: Same than Munich Classic, good head retention, hazy and pale orange. Flavor: Not tart at all, not bitter, not sweet, a lot of cloves, banana is minimal. Apricot is another note that lingers. Dry finish, silky mouthfeel and effervescent.

Results and Discussion

This is quite shocking because the wort was exactly the same, treated the same way, and the beers were totally different. You can find the following text in the respective websites of the brands:

Fermentis WB-06: A specialty yeast selected for wheat beer fermentations. The yeast produces subtle estery and phenol flavor notes typical of wheat beers. The choice of wheat or weizenbier fans.

Lallemand Munich: Munich Wheat Beer yeast originated in Bavaria, German and is a neutral strain which can be used to produce a wide variety of wheat-based beer styles. With only slight esters and phenol production, Munich’s allows brewers to showcase other spice additions. Traditional styles brewed with this yeast include but are not limited to American wheat, Belgian white, berliner weiss, gose, hefeweizen, dunkelweis, and weizenbock.

Lallemand Munich Classic: Munich Classic is a Bavarian wheat beer strain that can easily express the spicy and estery aroma profile typical to German wheat beer styles. This strain is simple to use over a wide range of recipe variations and fermentation conditions, making it a great choice for a number of traditional styles of wheat beer. In classic open fermentation vessels, the yeast can be skimmed off the top in the traditional manner. Styles brewed with Munich Classic include but are not limited to weizen/weissbier, dunkelweizen, and weizenbock.

White Lab’s WLP 380: High phenolic clove aroma and flavor, with minimal banana. Also produces refreshing citrus and apricot notes for a crisp, drinkable hefeweizen. Less flocculant than WLP300 and sulfur production is higher.

After tasting the samples and reading the description, I can say they are true, but not so much for the styles they are saying are suitable for. A hefeweizen is a yeast forward style with a solid malt backbone. I think that the Fermentis and Lallemand’s yeast does not have enough character for this style and create a quaffable wheat beer, but not a hefeweizen. In contrast, White Labs yeast create a nice mélange of phenols and malt components that approach very well the hefeweizen characteristics. My favorite of the 4 is, without a doubt, the WLP 380. There are a lot of forums and chats talking about some very specific temperature control, ones ramping each day to achieve an estery and phenolic profile from the Fermentis and Lallemand’s yeast. It can be true that with a more temperature focused process one can suck off the banana and clove of that yeast, but for this practical case where the fermentor is just sitting at 72 °F all the time, the yeast creating a very nice Hefe is White Labs.

by Hideki Arao Hi everyone! I started brewing in 2013 as a hombrewer and then, after winning a medal at one of the greatest beer contests in Mexico, I started learning and studying more and more about beer. Right now I am the owner and brewer of a micro-brewery in the heart of Mexico City, pursuing the dream of being one of the best and innovative breweries of the region (you can check out our site http://beerproject.mx). Brewing, drinking, sharing and dreaming about beer,that’s the summary of my life!

Want to Read More About Experiments? Check Out This Article »

One of the very common rumors is that you mustn’t boil your gelatin solution (that many of us use as a clearing agent), because you DENATURE the proteins present and it no longer does its job. However, as everybody knows, it is a good idea to sanitize everything that touches the beer in its cold stage, so being able to boil the gelatin would really be convenient. This is the reason for me publishing this article, to bring (what seems to be) true to the masses.

Hefeweizen Yeast Selection Experiment was originally published on HomeBrewTalk.com

#all grain #beer #beer recipes #brewing #experiment #homebrew #homebrewing #recipe #yeast

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katiezstorey93 · 7 years

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The Reason Gold & Silver Have Frustrated Investors Since 2011

“The marketplace WARNING LIGHTS are no more working, so when the CRASH occurs, it will be a total surprise.”

Not to anyone that reads this site

I’m making over $14k a month working part time. I kept hearing people tell me so I chose to look into it, just how much money they can make online. Well, it was accurate and has totally changed my lifestyle. This is precisely what I do,…

It is manipulated; of that I have no uncertainty.

Gold is this Petrodollah’s thermostat; TPTB have a chiller blowing to keep it. What is the baseline? Look in, say, a Au spot price graph.

This is done to create the petrodollah seem stronger than it is.

And we’ve got an Air Force ready and prepared . Or else we would be fighting with each other for scraps of meat at the USA streets within a couple of years.

The spot price doesn’t reflect room termperature.

China is currently colluding.

So it ain’t going anyplace,

The main reason why there are “frustrated” investor is because they THOUGHT that they’d purchase their 3 ounces of gold and it would take to 10k per/ounce and they would go pay money for their new F150.

For people (like me) who do NOT beg for a financial meltdown, and who expect that the “collapse” is deferred as long as possible…the Additional 7 years to prepare has long been greater than welcome, as will be the Upcoming few year…or seven years, if this is the case. Anyone who’s life is denominated in US dollars (i.e. your paycheck, your retirement, your resources, etc.) should NOT be praying for a financial collapse. But, they/we/I should be preparing for it.

Unless the regime is currently causing you to drop behind. Price of living here is pumped up making squirreling away money to invest in prep more and harder. A correction is needed by us that so that older folks can retire youthful members of society can find a foot hold and actually cover home.

Now that is some significant Stress Porn.

We require a correction to ensure youthful members of society can find a foot hold and actually cover home so that older folks can retire.

Fedbucks will likely be worth nothing, but there will still be Yuan and Rubles along with Tenge along with Rials and Lira (Turkic) and cryptos. Unless you happen to develop wheat, however, on a neighborhood scale, even though an ounce of silver is still worth a loaf of bread, then it will be the only way to get it.

Value will have to be redefined, but what exactly? The system was moved into by Canada, but we know just how far away the moon is.

And even if it doesn’t appear, gold and silver will never become useless like GM stock became worthless, you may always hold on to it even if on paper it is worth less than what you purchased it to just don’t purchase more than you are able to afford and only sell when you want and purchase real assets with it. Because all fiat currency has had the same difficulty, or the same design the dollar long since it is a federal reserve note will match or shed value. Funding is slavery, inflation is contested.

Vince Linzi, Steve St Angelo articles; constantly quoting Dennis Gartman. What’s next? Perhaps you can revive Jon Nadler?

What is ZH currently coming into? Endure another step in quality of articles and every iteration of we stalwarts and owners have to suck it up.

I disagree. My calculations indicate that a catastrophic financial event will certainly occur sometime between tomorrow and the second. I have to point out that my calculations have a margin of error of approximately 80 percent. I hope this information proves helpful to the ordinary investor.

There is/are individuals who’ll say “I had not been warned that mockets was so poor. My wealth is gone.”

Then there is the individuals who want a tiny bit longer they will cash out and leave.

I have no clue when the mockets will melt over or down fast time.

My comment will be this 1 sentence too.

Keep in mind that while we’re clammoring, fighting and losing our sanity attempting to accumulate these worthless paper debt components or entries in a database, even the jeuws are occupied accumulating the sole money which exists and that the entire world is saturated with money that is funny. Get a few to you and simply put it away for the time when the newspaper and digits assume their value – nothing whatsoever.

They have all of the money have all of the time to think and plan our passing and that is exactly what they have been doing for hundreds of years.

I said it “was” in a bubble, the identical buttocks pain Gold bugs believe will be sensed by those buy-n-hold lemmings getting prepared to take a huge loss long the S&P and also their ETF.

I pile myself when I have money to do silver.

However chase a market? Nope. It is circulating dollars and about monetray fall. Stop by a jewler you see no money, less gold. A bid is not which makes it very commodity driven that my buddy is the time to purchase, and at which it will fall next marketplace corrrection.

Thus Kocic is the new financial hero? May want to put down the doom narrative for a sec and check the track record of the guy.

We are in the beginning stages of deflation which will make the Great Depression look like a bathroom tub wave vs. the Tsunami that is ready to hit.

Gold will go down to below $300 and probably a low of around $200.

So yes, continue buying gold so I can keep selling it and take your money like the fools you are.

I will be a buyer of gold again as it goes below $300 but not NOW!

Money will be king through this coming melancholy.

This man’s an idiot. He will keep selling the stone that he doesn’t own and can not afford.

“Hey, my name is truthalwayswinsout and I’ve got a bunch of gold to market because the price Will keep falling. I won’t sell it all now but instead as the cost drops, within a Time Period, so I could sell at lower prices than if I purchased it all 40, I will sell it for you. Have I told you that I’m a moron?”

In the end, the power of the printing press will prevail, IF the Fed and all their central bank brethren cannot defeat deflation initially. Because the solution spells doom inflation will be demanded by govts someway . Sovereign bankruptcies throughout the planet will prompt the BIS/IMF monetarists to guarantee the world awash. Their rescue attempts will inevitably result in hyperinflation. imo.

Secondly, in a deflationary environment $300 will probably be difficult to increase today, for investing in PMs as $ 1225. It doesn’t function like many think. Ohhh, $300, that’ll be economical. I will just wait. No, if Au falls into $300/oz. , you will be wishing it was 1225 because you had some form of revenue and a task. With Au priced $800 below typical current production costs, to be renewable, costs (labour, gas, etc) will have fallen dramatically. To allow you to buy at $ 300, otherwise, there will be no Au.

Ultimately, my bet is fundamental banks. In the end, both banks will probably be nationalized or another kind of financial policy will be employed to start. I’d far rather be sitting with a pile of PMs than needing when it was accessible, I’d have purchased after this occurs.

Money is dependent on the cash bigly, US dollar, and complete disaster it’ll fall into 1 Yuan to 100 US.

Metals that are all helpful, metals have a cost of production, mainly.

So copper tin lead zinc, are a much better store of value that is truly an IOU, which a money lender who will flee writes IOU.

The biggest frustration to a lot of valuable metals traders, is the reason why have the gold and silver prices under-performed the marketplace since 2011? Actually, for gold it was because 2012. Its average cost was greater in 2012 compared to $ 1,571 the calendar year, even though gold hit a fresh record high of $ 1,900 in September 2011.

Regardless, the valuable metals analysts ago in 2012 were forecasting the market was going to experience much higher gold and silver prices after QE 3 was announced by the Fed in the end of 2012. However, surprise took the precious metals community since the gold and silver prices were hammered in the end of 2012 and into the beginning of 2013:

In this period of time, the price dropped 30% along with the price that was silver declined nearly 50 percent. Did something change in the markets for investors to abruptly ditch valuable metals? Actually, something really big happened…. . THE MARKETS BROKE. Of course, many from the other media consider the financial market died in 2008, but when we look at a different index… it certainly demonstrates that the markets drastically changed even farther in 2012.

The following charts (below) from the report, , show that the industry is completely under-pricing RISK by orders of magnitude not seen before. But when I say “under-pricing risk”, all this indicates is that the marketplace does not have any idea of the dangers ahead. It’s similar to somebody driving a car that doesn’t realize the engine is burning up and the brakes don’t work because the WARNING LIGHTS are not working. So, the poor slob proceeds to speed down the street, without out a care in the world… until the car blows up or that he heads across a cliff.

In the Deutsche Bank article linked above, analyst Aleksandar Kocic supplying evidence that the WARNING LIGHTS from the marketplace are no longer working:

Regular readers are knowledgeable about this Economic Policy Uncertainty (EPU) indicator that is made by limiting the frequency of articles in ten leading US newspapers which include three of their goal terms: economy, doubt; and even more of Congress, shortage, Federal Reserve, laws, regulation or White House. Their own means and standard deviations of phenomenon then normalizes these amounts and combined in an indicator. As such, EPU is entirely marketplace independent (in the same manner the mechanisms of a coin toss is more relative to any specific bet).

Okay… the description of how this index above may be a little difficult to comprehend, so I will simplify it. The BLUE LINE represents the “Economic Uncertainty Policy” (EPU indicator) exhibited from the frequency of articles in the MainStream networking. The BLACK LINE is the VIX indicator, the volatility indicator (S&P 500). Fundamentally, economic uncertainty printed in articles in the Mainstream Media must correspond with all the volatility index of their markets (the VIX).

And… that is exactly what took place from 1996 to 2011. The black and blue lines transferred down and up in tandem. However something changed. In accordance with Kocic:

Intuitively, when VIX is in tune with EPU, the industry is acknowledging the degree of hazard. When VIX EPU large and is reduced, markets are somewhat complacent — they’re currently underpricing risk.

After 2011, the 2 measures of risk decouple with VIX always low despite growing doubt. The breakdown is structural, and it is visible across all market sectors, not only equities.

What Kocic is saying is that the marketplace has become highly complacent and can be underpricing danger. At the two charts, Kocic chooses the gap between the VIX along with EPU Index to Obtain the second graph in the bottom. As we can see, something changed following 2011, and notably after 2016.

This graph is showing the amount of COMPLACENCY. By 1996 to 2011, the market complacency level fluctuated around the bottom line. After 2011, economy complacency is trended much greater.

According to the post:

This is where matters get much more interesting, because by this step, “it appears that the markets have left a structural change towards greater degrees of complacency in the previous six years.” Here, Kocic reunite into his old, cautious self, warning that this decoupling will lead to tears. This is how he frames it:

Current levels of complacency are more alarming. This is what everybody is talking about. The market volatility will not grow despite growing anxieties and uncertainties. Persistence of reduced volatility reinforces one placement and is raising the penalty for dissent. As a result, the possibility of disorderly loosen is increasing.

Because market volatility is low, shareholders have been brainwashed to think EVERYTHING IS OKAY. Alas, the problem is very dire because the market’s “Warning Lights” have now been turned off.

I decided to consider that graph above and show at what stage the price surfaced:

There’s no denying that the gold price peaked at the same moment the EPU — Economic Policy Uncertainty indicator decoupled from the VIX, shown at the end of 2011. The marketplace was deluded to think that GOLD DOESN’T MATTER anymore. This is shown in VIX indicator, since it continues to trend reduced into the Exact Same level in 2007… until all hell broke lose from the markets:

Again, the EPU Index simply demonstrates just how much “Uncertainty” is currently happening from the markets via articles on the MainStream networking. According Kocic, the EPU Index below, has been since 2016, to:

However, the VIX Index (volatility) is currently at the same level it was in 2007. Which suggests, the Marketplace is completely ignoring ALL THE BAD NEWS coming out of their Mainstream Financial Media. Again, it is exactly like a speeding car heading down the street with a motor prepared to blow off and without the brakes, however, the driver doesn’t know anything is incorrect because the warning lights are not working.

So, for all the frustrated valuable metals investors around who remain to BELLY-ACHE and COMPLAIN that the “Advisors Got It Wrong” regarding gold and silver because 2011… have also been BAMBOOZLED, such as the rest of the current market, which EVERYTHING IS FINE. Well, it is not.

Okay… so, WHEN will COLLAPSE happen?? If I had that answer, it would be able to pick the winning numbers on the lottery ticket. The indicators, such as the ones point out that the problem in the markets have been deteriorated much quicker than before. The Central Banks asset purchases of $1.5 trillion in the first five weeks of 2017, are more than twice the annual tendency since 2011.

The U.S. and Global Oil Industry is being GUTTED from the interior due to the current low oil price. Since , the worldwide oil and gas industry’s total debt is currently closer to $1 trillion versus $1 trillion in 2006. These energy companies have to pay a great deal of INTEREST EXPENSE to support their enormous debt. When the energy industry starts to really disintegrate, then it’ll take down the entire market.

My gut tells me that this will start to occur within the subsequent 6 months. It might happen or it may take. There is no method. Therefore, don’t attempt to. It might be wise to own some real precious metals until the marketplace cracks, or it make be hard to get any…. Or if that’s the case, at substantially higher prices.

For those who continue to get frustrated by the precious metals cost, silver is down another 20 cents as I compose this guide, have a great LOOK at the charts within this report. The marketplace WARNING LIGHTS are no more functioning, so when the CRASH occurs, it will be a complete surprise.

from network 8 http://www.diamondprismcoaching.com/the-reason-gold-silver-have-frustrated-investors-since-2011/

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

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Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

On Valentines Day, you can always buy your partner chocolate. For Mothers Day, a spa gift certificate is asafe bet. But gifts for dads?The standard go-to Fathers Day gift is a tie, and its pretty lame. Then again, dads usually make gift giving even more challenging by insisting they want nothing this year. So, what can you do for the dad who doesnt want anything?

Thankfully, there are lots ofgenius products any dadwould lovethatgo way beyond Number 1 Dad mugs and novelty T-shirts. You can actually find Fathers Day presents that seem to do the impossible be something your dad would actually use.

Whether your dad is into unique grilling tools or having a robot clean his floors, get him something he actually wants so that when he opens up the Worlds Best Farter (I mean father) T-shirt you mistakenly thought would be funny, youre not the only one laughing. Better yet, you wont ever have to relive the day when you called his bluff and actually got him nothing. (Ive done that, and the look of disappointment is gut-wrenching.)

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

For Fathers Day, give him the beautiful gift of an ice-cold beer. I dont mean pick up a six-pack and put a bow on it, but get your dad these instant beer coolers. Keepthe Corkcicles in the freezer, and when a warm beer emergency strikes, just pop the Corkcicle into the bottle, and boom, instantly chilled brew. Its perfect for barbecues, parties, or anytime your dad forgot to put his beer in the fridge.

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

Your dad might not be aware of the glory of watching Netflix on his phone or tablet, but with this stand, hell be converted. The stand can also be usedas a grip for easier texting and calling. Italso folds completely flat, so you can keep it on your phone and still fit yourcell in your pocket.

Plus, its way easier to hold onto your phone with this grip, so therell be way fewer instances of dropping the phone and cracking the screen. (And if youre asking if you should buy a second for yourself, the answer is.)

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

One Amazon user wrote: This board game prompted the first time Trump and fun appeared in a same sentence of mine. Playing it on a number of occasions, with different crowds, each time it delivered laughs, catharsis, and knowledge I grew up in New York and I didnt know Trump did all of those things, said one of our guests. Besides holding up as an enjoyably competitive board game (players take turns being all-powerful CEO), is full of fascinating, funny, and yes, sometimes frightening facts about the 45th president.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

No matter how technologically savvy your dad might be, hell sometimes get caught with a dead cell battery. This high-capacity external batteryfeatures three USB outlets to charge your electronics quickly. If thats not enough, it also features a strong LED flashlight, so if hes ever caught in a blackout, this battery will make him the most popular person in the room.

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

OK, a coffee mug doesnt sound like a genius gift, but this is a pretty exceptional mug. This lid seals super tight, so youll never have a leak or spill. Plus,vacuum insulationkeeps drinks hot for seven hours (perfect for when he inevitably forgets he poured himself a cup.)

On Amazon, this mug hasalmost 14,000 reviews, and one user wrote: This is the best coffee mug I have ever owned. bottom line: lives up to its promise. I actually forgot this mug in my office before a meeting and when I came back for it six hours later the coffee was still STEAMING.

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

If your dad loves to grill, hell love it even more when he can tear it apart with these meat claws. You can use these to lift hot meal off the grill, shred it, or just pretend to be a grilling beast. The clawsare BPA-free, so you dont have to worry about melting or any kind of plastic contamination. Since theyre dishwasher safe, clean up is easy and wearing claws while you cook just makes everything more fun.

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

The days of briefcases are over and your dad needs something thats comfortable and professional looking to carry his laptop. Thats where this backpack comes in. It can hold any laptop under 17 inches and has 15 pockets to keep all his things separate and organized. Fully waterproof, he can carry his laptop in the rain without worry. Plus, the bag is extra futuristic with its external USB port to keep his electronic charged.

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

If your dad doesnt have a lot of time in the morning but needs his coffee, this travel press will make his day. Just throw in grounds and some boiling water and the travel press brews the coffee on the go. It has a double micro-filter so he wont end up drinking bits of grounds and the double-walled stainless steel cup keeps the coffee warm all day.

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

If your dad loves to drill you with crazy hypothetical questions, he will love this book.Finally, we all get to know the answer to the question, How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? The book is full of very serious, scientifically accurate answer to insanely crazy questions.

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

Whether your dad used to love his Gameboy or always resented Santa for never getting him one, give dad a taste of childhood with this handheld retro gaming console. This console plays almost any old cartridge (Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and Genesis) and the player is light enough to take anywhere. You get about eight hours of playtime per charge, so itll get your dad (and lets be honest, )through any future road trips or train commutes.

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

Bottle openers have a magical way of disappearing every time you need one. Dont let your dad fish around the kitchen drawers for an hour, get him this bottle opener magnet. Stick in your fridge and youre done. The super strong magnet will stay put and youll never lose your opener again.

The magnet is non-scratch, so it wont mess up the high-tech fridge your dad spent a fortune on, and can easily take it on and of if you ever need the bottle opener elsewhere. Plus, its made of stainless steel, so itll hold up to years of steady bottle opening.

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

Its surprising how often you need to use your tablet in the kitchen, but dont want to lay it on the counter to get immediately covered in hot spaghetti sauce. This kitchen stand solves the problem.It can hold any size tablet or even a Nintendo Switch, just in case your dad has a game going that he really cant put down. You can attach it to a wall or cabinet, or remove the mount completely and use it as a table stand.

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

If your dads record collection is gathering dust, get him this new turntable. The turntable features three speeds and speakers, so you have everything you need to play all your vinyl plus, it comes with an input jack, so you can hook up a smartphone or MP3 player to its speaker.

But the best part is that this turntable comes with a USB port and audio software so you can transfer your records to MP3s. This gift is the best of old and new school and will suit all of your dads musical needs for years to come.

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

For a movie-loving dad, this mini-projector will make his day. Its a compact size but 50 percentbrighter than a standard LED projector and only a portion of the price. You can connect your phone, tablet, computer, USB drive, or HD setup boxand see it projected on a screen or blank wall. Forget about a 75-inch TV, this can give you up to a 176-inch projection.

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Dad might be a little shy about asking for a massage or a gift certificate to a spa, but hell definitely appreciate this deep-kneading massager. Use it at home, in the car, or at the office to reduce shoulder tension, neck aches, or back pain. The rotating nodes imitate a professional shiatsu massage, so those troublesome shoulder knots will be gone in no time.

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

The Game of Thingsis a great board game thats easy to play and helps you get to know all the players better. Everyone playing gets a topic on a card, each player writes down an answer, and you have to guess who said what. This isnt about trivia or getting an answer right, but trying to come up with a fun answer and seeing how well you know the players at hand.

The game is more innocent than Cards Against Humanity since you get topicslike Things you would do with a million dollars or Things you shouldnt do in an elevator. So, you can play it with the whole family without hearing anything too embarrassing, but its also really fun and you might find out how hilarious your dad really is.

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

Dads often like to pretend that theyre so strong that nothing gets to them. But everybody gets stressed sometimes, and dads are no different. This acupressure mat and pillow set is designed to trigger pressure points to relax the muscles and relieve tension and stress. The product claims that laying on the mat for 10minutes a day can help release endorphins that block pain and youll feel shoulder, back, and neck issues slowly melt away. Plus, the pressure points increase blood flow so muscles repair faster and you feel a little more energized.

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Your dad needs something to contain the multitude of ties from previous Fathers Days. This motorized tie rack holds up to 72 ties and eight belts. It rotates with ease at the touch of a button, so your dad can look through his prodigious collection to pick out only the best tie for his day. To make it even cooler, the rack had LED lights, so he wont have to worry about selecting a tie from the back of a dark closet.

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

If your dads a man who rocks a suit and tie, keep him looking clean and classy with these collar stays. Though collar stays soundpretty old-timey and you probably dont know WTF they do, they actually make a huge difference. These stays are designed to fit all collared shirts with eight adjustable positions. In just a couple seconds, your dad can pop these on and never have to worry about having a floppy or sloppy collar ever again.

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

A good face wash isnt just for women. Most dads might not be up for adopting a thorough skin regime, but they can definitely use this all-in-one cleanser. This does everything its a face wash, toner, and exfoliating scrub all in one bottle. It has natural ingredients like aloe vera, vitamin C, willow bark, and burdock root to cleanse and tone the skin.

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

If your dad is a true beer lover, hell be overjoyed with this beer dispenser. It was featured on, and it turns any old can or bottle of beer into a draft-quality brew. You can use any style of beer from stouts to IPAs and there no gas or chemicals used in the product. Just pop in four AA batteries and your canned beer is transformed into a full flavored draft.

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

If your dads not a fan of getting up in the morning (guess we know where you get it from!), this alarm clock will make his life a lot easier. Its easy to set, and you can completely customize the sound, volume, and frequency of your morning alarm. Plus, it works as a smartphone dock and speaker, so you can play music at night or in the morning without leaving your bed. (And if it just so happens to find its way to your room instead of your parents, we wont tell.)

Dont worry that a phone call will come in a ruin your sleep, this alarm uses Smart Silence which automatically blocks all but emergency calls. Plus, you can use it as a white noise machine to help you drift off.

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

This caffeine shampoo isntmade to give dad extra energy in his morning shower, but to help withhair growth. The shampoo contains Vitamin E and shea butter to moisturize the scalp and hair, while the caffeine stimulates the roots of the hair to encourage growth.

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

is an amazing website with tons of interestingfacts about bizarre places and stories from around the world. Thankfully, the site put their very best stories into thisbook. If your dad loves travel, adventure, or even weird history, hell absolutely love this book.

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

First of all, how many backup batteries come in fake sardine cans? Just this one. Inside the cool 3-D printedcase is a powerful USB charger that works with almost any smartphone or tablet.You get about two iPhone charges out of this battery, so you dont have to worry about constantly plugging it into a charger.

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

If your dad loves making pizza as much as he doeseating it, this cast iron pan will make a perfect gift. Cast iron is the best material forheating evenly and staying hot, which makes it a great choice when making pizza. The reason cast iron pans arent used more often is that they can be a pain to season, which is the process used to prepare the cast iron for cooking.

But this pan is pre-seasoned and ready to pop in the oven. Cast iron is incredibly sturdy and never bends out of shape or loses even-heating capacity, so itll last a lifetime. Plus, if you get this for your dad, you can guilt him into making you pizza every time you come home. A win-win if Ive ever seen one.

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Your dad will feel like James Bond will this badass multitool. It looks like a simple pen, but it also works as a tablet stylus, ruler for metric and imperial measurement, a bubble level, and comes with a Phillipsand flathead screwdriver.

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

If your dad is more of a Ron Swanson type, hell appreciate this old-school shaving kit. This kit is made with all super high-quality, long-lasting material and gives your dad the experience of a class wet shave. You get an impeccable safety razor, badger hair brush, alum block, stainless steel shave bowl, shave soap, and five extra blades.

If, like me, youre about to google alum block, let me save you so time: its a stone that helps stop bleeding from small cuts and also works to fight razor burn. This stuff is all top of the line and super classy.

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

If your dad is hooked on hot sauce, give him the chance to make his own with this kit.You have everything you need to make up to seven bottles of custom hot sauce. With bags of spices, peppers, glass bottles, labels, and easy-to-read recipe cards, your dad will be making sauce like a pro in no time. It even includes a pack of the super hot Ghost Pepper, so your dad can finally get the spicy mix of his dreams.

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

Is your dad hanging onto a George Constanza-style wallet? Get him this slim billfold to help keep him organized. Made of real leather, this wallet features a minimalist design. You can hold up to 10cards plus cash and the wallet still lays flat and slim. Plus, its equipped with RFID technology to protect your valuable information. Sleek, simple, this wallet is a definite dad pleaser.

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

No matter how advanced video games get, theres something about the classics that are just delightful. If your dads into video games, hell seriously love this throwback collection of games. First of all, the whole thing is shaped like Pac-Man, so its already awesome. Then, you just plug it into your TV and play Pac-Man or 10other games like Galaga, Dig Dug, New Rally X, or the extreme Super Pac-Man.

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

If your dad cant put a book down at bedtime,get him this book lightand save your mom from another sleepless night. The four LED lights are incredibly strong for their size and the lamp can clip anywhere. Dont worry about finding weird little batteries, this light is fully USB rechargeable. Plus, its super light, so dad can take it on trips and keep up his midnight reading wherever he goes.

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

Its tough to stay active when you work at a desk, so if your dad is looking to add a little exercise to his work day, get him this foldable bike. This cycle fits under the desk and folds away for easy carrying or storage. Whether you want a light ride or some heavy tension, the bike offers different resistance levels.

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

If I bought my dad a bracelet, he wouldnt be thrilled. But, if I bought him a magnetic wristband that makes working with tools even easier, hed be cool with it. This wristband features powerful magnets that can hold screws, nails, nut, bolts, basically all the small things that typically fall on the floor when your dads trying to work. Now, he can keep all the bits at hand and not have to worry about searching the floor for the one tiny washer he desperately needs.

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

This isnt a scientific fact, but from my experience, pretty much every dad loves golf. My dad always hated the sport growing up, but now he picks vacation spots based on who has the best course. So, give your dad a chance to practice more often with this portable putting green.

With three practice cups and built in sand traps to keep your putts from going all over the place, your dad will get a chance to seriously up his skills. Plus, its made from lightweight foam, so its easy to carry and only takes seconds to install.

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Ive never met a dad wholoves cleaning the floors, butIve met a lot of dads who love robots. Finally, its all come together with this robot vacuum cleaner. It vacuums, sweeps, dry mops, and removes pet hair all while youre sitting on the couch. When the battery runs out, the robot automatically goes back to its charging station and uses smart sensors so it doesnt fall down the stairs or bump into everything.

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

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jimdsmith34 · 7 years

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Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont.html

0 notes

adambstingus · 7 years

Text

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162688933712

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years

Text

Genius Gifts For Dads Who Say They Don’t Want Anything

This year, really do Fathers Day right and get your dad one of these genius gifts he didnt even know he needed.

1. A Bottle Top That Gives YouInstantly Cold Beer

Amazon

Corkcicle Chillsner Beer Chiller, $20 (2 Pack), Amazon

2. An Expandable Stand For His Electronics

Amazon

PopSockets: Expanding Stand and Grip for Smartphones and Tablets, $10, Amazon

3. A New Card Game For The Political And Hilarious Dad

Amazon

Trumped Up Cards: A Multi-Player Card Game for Adults, $25, Amazon

If your dad loves Cards Against Humanity and also hates Donald Trump, this game will be perfect.

4. An External Battery So HisCell Stays Charged

Amazon

EC Technology Power Bank External Battery, $33, Amazon

5. A Travel Mug Thats Insanely Popular

Amazon

Contigo Autoseal West Loop Travel Mug, $17, Amazon

6. Claws. Yep,.

Amazon

Grillaholics Meat Claws (Set of 2), $13, Amazon

7. A Backpack Suitable For A Grown-Ass Man

Amazon

Mancro Business Laptop Backpack, $29, Amazon

8. A Travel Coffee Press

Amazon

Espro Coffee Travel Press, $32, Amazon

Plus, its BPA, BPS, and phthalate-free, so you dont have to worry about a side of chemicals with your morning brew.

9. A Book For The Scientific Dad With A Silly Side

Amazon

What If: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, $14, Amazon

Based on the questions from fans of the webcomic Randall Munroe compiled the most fascinating questions and gave incredibly thorough answers.

9. A Handheld Console For His Favorite RetroCartridges

Amazon

Retro-Bit RDP Portable Handheld Console, $90, Amazon

10. A Super Strong Bottle Opener You Can Stick On Your Fridge

Amazon

SUCK UK Bottle Opener Fridge Magnet, $13, Amazon

11. A TabletMount That Brings The Internet To Your Kitchen

Amazon

CTA Digital 2-in-1 Kitchen Mount Stand, $29, Amazon

With easy release buttons, you can get your tablet in and out of the stand quickly as dadlooks over recipes or gives Facebook a quick check to do some light spying on his kids.

12. A High-Tech TurntableFor Your Dads Record Collection

Amazon

Jensen 3 Speed Stereo Turntable, $51, Amazon

13. A Project That Turns Any Room Into A Home Theater

Amazon

DBPOWER 1500 Lumens LCD Mini Projector, $110, Amazon

If your dad plays the Super Bowl this year at that size, hell be the most popular guy in the neighborhood. (And youll have more screen space to freak out over Beyonc.)

14. A Massager To Instantly Soothe HisAching Muscles

Amazon

1byone Shiatsu Deep-Kneading Massager, $47, Amazon

Plus, it heats up for even better relaxation. The only downside of this gift is that you and everyone else in your family will immediately want one after they see how amazing it is.

15. A Family Board Game Your Dad Will Actually Love

Amazon

The Game of Things Board Game, $23, Amazon

16. The Acupressure Mat That Brings Immediate Relaxation

Amazon

ProSource Acupressure Mat and Pillow Set, $20, Amazon

17. A Tie Rack For All Your Previous Fathers Day Gifts

Amazon

Primode Motorized Tie Rack with LED Lights, $33, Amazon

Yes, tie racks are lame Fathers Day gifts, but light-up, electric tie racks? Awesome.

18. Collar Stays That Keeps Your Dad Looking Classy

Amazon

CLEVERFIT the Adjustable Collar Stay, $30, Amazon

19. The All-In-One Face Wash

Amazon

Rugged and DapperDaily Power Scrub All-in-One Facial Cleanser for Men, $25, Amazon

No matter your dads skin type, this face wash works and works well.

20. A Beer Dispenser That Gives You Draft Quality Brews At Home

Amazon

Fizzics Waytap Beer Dispenser, $130, Amazon

Since its light, portable, and doesnt use any wires or tubes, your dad can take it to any backyardparties, tailgating events, or camping trip.

21. An Alarm Clock With A Million Uses

Amazon

Hale Dreamer Alarm Clock Speaker Dock, $20, Amazon

22. A Shampoo With A Morning Caffeine Boost

Amazon

ManCave Caffeine Shampoo, $12, Amazon

If your dad isnt into fancy bath products, hell still love this. You use it every day, just like a normal shampoo, and there are no added scents, just natural cleaning power.

23. A Fascinating Book For The Adventurous Dad

Amazon

Atlas Obscura: An Explorers Guide to the Worlds Hidden Wonders, $21, Amazon

24. A Backup Cell Battery With A Delightful Design

Amazon

Lankoo Power BankUSB Charger, $18, Amazon

A backup battery is something everyone needs but most people forget to buy, so this is a great go-to for difficult-to-please dads.

25. A Cast Iron Pan For Perfect Pizza

Amazon

Lodge Seasoned Cast Iron Pizza Pan, $41, Amazon

26. A Pen That Does Everything

Amazon

EdgeWorks Screwdriver Multitool, $11, Amazon

Since its bright yellow, theres no chance your dad will lose it (but hey, you never know) and hell probably want to show it off any time theres a screwdriver or bubble level emergency.

27. A Shaving Kit With VintageCharm

Amazon

Gentleman Jon Complete Wet Shave Kit, $55, Amazon

28. A Kit For Customizable Hot Sauce

Amazon

DIY Gift Kits Hot Sauce Kits, $40, Amazon

29. A Super Slim Wallet With A Minimalist Look

Amazon

SimpacX Genuine Leather Slim Wallet, $20, Amazon

30. A Gaming Console Thatll Take Your Dad Back To Childhood

Amazon

Pac-Man Connect and Play 12 Classic Games, $15, Amazon

The controller also opens up to store its A/V wires, so itll stay clean and neat on dads gaming shelf.

31. A Book Light He Can Use Anywhere

Amazon

LuminoLite Rechargeable LED Book Light, $15, Amazon

32. A Foldable Exercise Bike That Dad Can Take Anywhere

Amazon

Stamina InStride Folding Cycle, $25, Amazon

With its sturdy rubber base, your dad wont have to worry about the cycle slipping around as hes riding. Plus, theres an electric monitor so dad can accurately brag about his long work time workouts.

33. A Magnetic Wristband For Dads Workshop

Amazon

Mag-Band Magnetic Wristband, $10, Amazon

34. A Portable Green So Dad Can Putt Anywhere

Amazon

Putt-A-Bout Grassroots Putting Green, $33, Amazon

35. A Robot To Clean YourFloors

Amazon

ILIFE V3s Robotic Vacuum Cleaner with Smart Auto Cleaning, $159, Amazon

Best of all, your dad will feel like hes living in the future with this robot helper automatically cleaning his floors.

Elite Daily may receive a portion of sales from products purchased from this article, which was created independently from Elite Dailys editorial and sales departments.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/07/genius-gifts-for-dads-who-say-they-dont-want-anything/

0 notes