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#but i can only do that as a survival skill because the till at my old workplace was so broken lol and would error out when i was trying to
fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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Got an offer for the job I thought I’d bombed the interview for 🎉🎊🎉
#well it’s not an ‘offer’ so much as an invitation to come back for a trial shift#but they did tell me during the original interview that anyone who is successful will get offered a trial shift#which is basically to check if they like it and are suitable for the job#i didn’t even think i’d get this far tbh. i walked out of that interview and i was like ‘i didn’t get it’#i didn’t tell them i have food hygiene training; allergen training; pci/dss….. i did tell them i could do maths in my head#but i can only do that as a survival skill because the till at my old workplace was so broken lol and would error out when i was trying to#get it to calculate people’s change. so i’d be standing there with a £20 note doing theorems in my head lol#i guess maybe they’re happy with that + the fact i can bake + i live within walking distance so i’m not exactly going to be missing work#45+ applicants and i got an offer. witness meeeeeee#now to ace the trial and secure employment for this winter and beyond#and my last job contract only just ended. what type of luck do i haaaaave and when did it get this good!!!!#also this means i can turn down the weird dental job if i get offered it lol. thank goodness#i was not looking forward to being mansplained to 9 hours a day ngl#and the best part is it doesn’t clash with my coding course!!!! i’m going to learn html-css & python with my best friend 💖#well if you need me i’m going to make a shopping list because ya girl is out of snacks#personal
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buckyalpine · 1 year
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Request 👉🏼👈🏼 ? Black widow!reader and winter soldier!Bucky! He was her teacher in the red room, where they eventually fell in love and started a secret relationship, until Hydra and Dreykov found out and separated them. Fast forward several years, Bucky’s out of recovery, reunited with Steve, and living a better life when Tony brings in a new team member. And everyone’s excited but Bucky’s on edge and kinda wary until he learns who it is.
It’s his lil widow, the love of his life, his soulmate. the one Hydra and the red room stole from him, the girl he kept dreaming about no matter how many times his handlers tried to wipe his memories. Just complete fluffy, smutty, love sick shit with him being a massive simp for his deadly girl. maybe building a family, getting married, drabbles of him drooling over her skills or her in the widow suit, like oh yea, I taught her that. I can imagine him being so overly protective, constantly holding her close to his chest because she was stolen away from him once, he won’t survive if that happens again.
YESSSSS God this is so cute and smutty and angsty and FLUFFY it makes my chest itch in the best way. Pls ignore what google translate may have botched. Bucky is the cutest, horny, most deadly simp here, so proud of his girl, absolutely yes.
"ne proyavlyay miloserdiya, soldat" [Show no mercy, soldier], Dreykov hissed, letting the soldier enter the red room with a single widow standing before him, not an ounce of fear in her eyes. The soldier grunted, hitting the button that locked the door that kept her from escaping before lunging forward, testing her agility after personally training her himself.
She leapt over him with ease, bracing her hands on his wide shoulders and landing swiftly behind him and swiping her leg under him to knock him to the floor, straddling him immediately after. He grasped her hands in his, rolling over till she was pinned under his large mass with her wrists held together above her head in his metal hand.
"You've learned well kotenok" His voice was husky behind the mask, blue eyes sparkling while she huffed, rolling her eyes.
"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy bol'shoy, soldat" [Not fair when you're so large, soldier]. She gasped feeling him harden on top of her, his rough uniform doing nothing to hide what he was feeling for her, slotted between her thighs.
"Nespravedlivo, kogda ty takoy krasivyy, kotonok" [Not fair when you're so pretty, kitten]. He climbed off her, allowing her to get into position before attacking again, relentlessly throwing punches and blocking them till she nearly collapsed. They retreated to stand at attention at the sound of the doors hissing open, indicating training was over. The soldier grunted a nod as Dreykov walked in, assessing the widow, a sinister smile plastered on his face seeing both of his assets worn but still at their strongest.
He sent them off to their cells, confident that the fear he'd instilled in his captives would be enough to ensure they stayed in line, not realizing his punishments would only go so far.
It wasn't enough to stop the charming young man from Brooklyn who still lived in his most feared asset.
"Did I hurt you baby" The soldier whispered, kissing her bruised knuckles softly after sneaking into her cell, pulling her into his arms.
"You could never" She smiled, melting into his embrace. She never intended on falling in love with the soldier but here she was, feeling his gentle hands wander, leaning up to kiss his soft, pink lips. They were playing a dangerous game but it was to stop now.
He loved her.
She loved him.
-
"Wipe him" The hydra agent ordered while the soldier gripped onto the chair, gritting his teeth while sharp burning spread through his body, frying his brain. The widow dug her nails into her palms, resolve slowly crumbling seeing the love of her life tortured, unable to hold back anymore.
"Stop!" She finally broke, unable to watch any longer, gasping at the sinister smile Dreykov gave her, ordering his men to grab her before increasing the voltage.
"My, my, does it hurt you when we hurt him" Dreykov sneered, turning up the dial, Bucky's screams tearing her apart on the inside.
"Don't-AH-JAMES" A hydra soldier gripped her hair, yanking her back before she could go to him, shackles binding her hands together, dragging her away.
"kotenok" [kitten] The soldier sadly whispered, unheard by her, her kicking and screaming form blurry from his unshed tears. He screamed in pain as another shock ripped through his veins before the world went black.
He never saw her again.
-
Bucky gasped, sucking in a deep breath of air, his chest heaving from the dream he'd just had, sweat covering his chest, dripping from his forehead.
It was the same thing almost every night.
His mind replaying the same thing over and over again; training with her in the red room, the way she felt under him, the way he'd cuddle and make love to her afterwards without a soul knowing. He didn't plan on falling for the woman he had to train to be a killer but he didn't stand a chance the day she'd knocked him down with a knife pressed to his neck seconds later. He could have married her then and there.
He slumped back against his pillow, running a hand over his face, groaning in frustration.
In the several years, he'd slowly managed to get his life back together. He was apart of the team and living at the compound with Steve and the others. He was no longer controlled by trigger words, he had been forgiven by the government, he was starting to recover from all the trauma he'd endured. His nightmares were less frequent, slowly learning to forgive himself for the things he'd been forced to do under Hydras control.
The only thing he never got over was her.
She still lived in his dreams. Still owned his heart. That was his girl and she was torn away by the very people that had taken everything else from him too. No amount of wiping or torture took her away. His handler tried his hardest, shocking him till his nose bled and his veins nearly burnt to bits but her name would fall from his lips as he lay nearly unconscious.
His sweet widow.
Bucky glanced at the faint light starting to stream through the curtains, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed to get up instead of attempting to sleep for 5 more minutes. He threw on a hoodie and some joggers, making his way to the gym to punch his feelings away as usual. He didn't stop till his knuckles split, ignoring the sting, instead thinking about how he'd kiss her soft hands after he'd train her, bandaging them up when no one was looking.
The hot water from the shower did little to ease the tension in his muscles as he made his way to the kitchen next, plopping onto a stool with a cup of coffee. He was just about to try and relax with his coffee until Steve popped his head in with a grin.
"There you are! Tony was looking for you, we're all heading up now!" Bucky frowned in confusion while Steve grabbed his own mug, filling his cup.
"Why are we having a meeting" Bucky questioned, not willing to get up from his seat, his mind still preoccupied.
"He told you he scouted someone to join the team"
"I remember Tony going on about some new member" Bucky mumbled, not in the mood to meet new people, his anxiety only growing further. "That's today?"
Steve nodded, finishing up the last of his coffee while the brunette stayed glued to the stool.
"Buck, you coming?" Steve turned back to see a frowning Bucky, reluctantly trudging behind the captain while the others excitedly also made their way upstairs to the conference area.
"I heard Tony saying the new agent is scary as shit. Apparently he got his ass handed to him when he tried to test her and he was wearing his suit" Sam snorted while Nat smiled with excitement.
"Finally someone worth sparring with" The redhead nudged him while he shook his head.
"I'm serious! She's deadly deadly. I looked over her file, she's killed more people than you and Clint combined and half of those were hand to hand combat"
"What was the other half"
"Sniper. Like Barnes" Sam nodded to Bucky who was still disconnected from the others, his knee bouncing impatiently.
"We're lucky she's on our side" Steve mused, taking a glance of the file that sat on the table. There was no name or picture to go with it but it had a skillset record nearly put his to shame. "Jesus"
"You good?" Sam whispered to Bucky, noticing he was more closed off than usual, getting a tightlipped grimace like smile in return. Steve sat near the front, straightening himself up while the rest quietened down, hearing the sound of Tony speaking to someone as they approached the room. The billionaire opened the door, letting in the new team member first before entering himself with a large smile on his face.
"Everyone, this is-
"Y/n?" Bucky gasped, shoot up from his seat before Tony could finish, the other sharing confused glances between each other, watching the new team member and Bucky freeze.
"Wait, Barnes, you know-
"Malyshka, eto pravda ty?" [Babygirl, is it really you?] Bucky gasped, his heart hammering against his chest, tears already threatening to spill out. "kotenok, skazhi mne, pozhaluysta, chto eto ty" [kitten, please tell me its you]
"Hold up, he can still speak Russian?" Sam hissed to Steve who hadn't moved, mouth gaping, eyes wide.
"James!" You darted across the room to meet Bucky half way, his strong arms catching and lifting you up with ease as your legs wrapped tightly around his waist. "moy soldat. YA zdes', moy malysh" [my soldier. I'm here my babyboy]
"It's really you" He whispered against your hair, breathing in your soft scent, eyes squeezed shut with tears streaming down his face, "My baby" He cradled you tightly, refusing to set you down while you buried your face into the crook of his neck, drowning out the rest of the world. After you were torn apart from him, you had been locked up in an isolated cell, only let out for select missions Dreykov send you on. You wanted to find your soldier, your James, but you never did with Hydra keeping him under their control.
Now you finally had him again.
"Ahem, as I was saying- This is y/n" Tony addressed the rest of the team, just as surprised as the rest of them with all eyes on Bucky especially. "She'll be joining us once Barnes puts her down"
"Never" Bucky finally pulled away, still holding onto you, his nose nudging against yours, "M'never putting her down, never, you hear me babygirl?" He pressed his lips onto yours, shamelessly kissing you hard, ignoring the whistles that filled the room, only pulling away for air. You let out a shy giggle as he set you back on your feet, his hand wrapped around your waist.
"I'd continue to introduce her but I think tinman knows her better" Tony snorted, throwing his hands up before taking a seat, all eyes now watching two of you while Bucky blushed, unable to wipe the smile of his face, cupping your face to press another kiss to your lips.
"This is y/n" Bucky finally let you go, taking you to the front of the conference room, now proudly showing you off to the other, "She was a widow with Hyrda, handpicked by Dreykov" Bucky sucked in a breath before continuing, giving your hand a squeeze "I trained her in the red room myself when I was still the winter soldier. That's when I fell in love with her" The last part was a whisper, not missed by the team with how lovesick Bucky looked.
"I'm sorry, you trained her? Jesus, no wonder she's deadly" Sam shook his head, now understanding why your file was so impressive. You were already gifted when you were picked, coupled with the fact that you were trained and conditioned by the soldier himself.
"She's fuckin' deadly, alright" Bucky's voice was nearly breathless, his baby blues intently gazing into your eyes. "You should see her with a knife"
That's when I fell in love with you.
"So what happened with you two" Nat prodded, looking at you two with heart eyes which was a rare sight but her heart melted at how soft Bucky was, struggling to keep his hands to himself. He constantly nuzzled into your neck, his large form practically swallowing you whole as he clung onto you like a child.
"They found out we were together so they took me from him" You gave her a sad smile, feeling Bucky hug you tighter; you could have sworn you heard him whimper. "I tried to find him for years but I couldn't"
"Hydra tried to wipe my memories but it never worked. Couldn't forget her" Bucky kissed the top of your head, not realizing his bestfriend was trying to subtly wipe his eyes.
"I was going to have everyone introduce themselves but I think these two have some catching up to do so let's move this meeting over" Tony clapped his hands while everyone else nodded in agreement, leaving you and Bucky alone for some privacy.
"I missed you so much, you have no idea, I-I tried to find you but I just- I could barely function, I'm sorry doll-" Your lips cut off Bucky's rambling, cupping his scruffy face firmly in your hands.
"You have nothing to be sorry about baby, it's not your fault"
"I-I know you just got here and-sweets I don't want to rush anything but-" Bucky's hand gripped your waist while he tried to compose himself, he didn't want to pressure you into anything. "I need you closer baby"
"Take me, soldat" You whispered, not giving him any room to second guess as he hauled you up in his arms, taking you straight to his room. Clothes were off in an instant between frantic and desperate kisses. Bucky didn't rush a thing as soon as he had you naked in his bed, pulling the sheets over you both, rolling over to cuddle instead.
"This is all I wanted" He whispered against your shoulder, kissing your skin, "To have my girl with me again"
"I love you Jamie" You kissed his bare chest, hitching your leg over his waist, his hard length pressing against your soaked cunt. He could feel his tip weeping feeling your soft body pressed against his, still looking just as beautiful, if not more now, from when he'd first met you.
"Prettiest widow" He growled, his wandering hands becoming less wholesome as they moved to your hips, pulling you to press against his erection harder. You moaned feeling him starting to hump your pussy while innocently kisses down your neck, smirking at how he was both sweet and sinful at the same time, just as before. "kotenok, ty mne nuzhen" [Kitten, I need you]
You remembered all the times he'd snuck into your cell for a few cuddles, which always ended up with his hand slammed over your mouth while he railed you with his cock.
"You feel how hard I am for you baby? Mmph, this is all for you, doll" He bit his lip, eyes locked with yours, rolling on top of you, slotting his wide body between your legs, still rutting his hips. "Can I make love to you baby, please" He sounded desperate, dropping his forehead to press against yours, hands coming to pin you against the bed.
"M'yours Jamie" You nodded, spreading your legs wider, not bothering with having prep you, needing him inside you more than anything else. You gasped feeling his thick cockhead rub through your folds before he breeched your hole, stretching you.
"Soldat!" You moaned, your back arching off the bed, the name rolling of your tongue as it had so many times before, your nails digging into his shoulders as he buried himself to the hilt.
"Take your soldat's cock, kotenok" Bucky growled, only giving you a second to adjust before he started to move with slow, deep strokes. "Lemme make love to my babygirl, ya tak sil'no tebya lyublyu" [I love you so much]
After Bucky had been rescued, he had no reason to speak Russian, letting the others think it'd been wiped away just like the words that controlled him. Around you, it rolled off his tongue with ease, your pussy dripping each time he whispered in your ear. Your eyes rolled back feeling him hit that spongy spot deep in your pussy, crying out with the powerful, deliberate snaps of his hips.
"M'I making you feel good baby?" He asked, kissing you sweetly, alternating between the sweetheart and heartbreaker he was, looking at you with soft puppy eyes while his cock grew harder watching your face twist with pleasure. His jaw was slack, thrusting with purpose, moving his hips to roll and let you feel every inch of him filling you up, "You look gorgeous with my cock in you angel, wish you could see how pretty you are, so beautiful like this"
"Oh god James! P-please-m'so close-dont-don-t stop" Your moans grew more salacious, unable to say much else, eyes shutting out of pleasure feeling his hand coming down to rub your swollen clit.
"I know baby, I know, you need me to rub this pretty button, Remember the first time I touched you there pretty girl? How badly you wanted to scream, how much you squirted all over me? Remember when we first made love? First time I tasted you? Remember how shy you were when I spread your legs open and nursed off that little button. How you turned into a slutty kitten, riding and humping my face after? Know your needy little clit loves it, m'gonna rub you till you're screaming"
"Buckyyy" You whined, your face feeling hot at the memory, remembering his growls from under you, turning around to find him jerking his cock faster while he licked and sucked your pussy, cum already painting his abs from cumming once, working to a second orgasm. He'd sealed his lips around your clit, stuffing his mask in your mouth to keep you from alerting the guards.
"Baby, c'mon open your eyes, look at me" Bucky nipped your jaw, his cold hand coming to grasp your cheeks, blue eyes staring into your soul as you opened your eyes, "Don't you dare close them baby, keep em' open when I'm fuckin' you, shit, m'gonna cum for you doll"
"B-Bucky!" You cried, struggling to hold off any longer, your juices soaked him as you started to clench and squeeze his cock, tears nearly streaming down your face.
"Scream all you want baby, don't have to hide those pretty moans ever again" He fucked you through your orgasm, his own balls getting tighter with each thrust, precum mixing with your arousal, dripping onto the sheets, "Thats-that-s it baby, m'gonna cum so hard for you, fill you up, you're mine doll, you're fuckin' MINE"
Bucky's hand flew to the headboard, pounding you into the mattress, moaning loudly, letting the wood splinter under his grip as he came, pumping you full of his seed.
"FUCK y/n" He gasped, collapsing on you, panting, burying his face into your breasts as he always did, turning into a needy baby as if he didn't rail your soul. You giggled, tracing your hand down his spine making his shiver, whining when you clenched around his sensitive, soft cock.
"My soldat" You whispered, carding your fingers through his hair, letting him latch onto your nipple, needily sucking for comfort. No matter how big, bad and scary he was, he always melted into a puddle for you, closing his eyes at the feeling of your sweet peaked nipple against his tongue.
"Never letting you go again" He whispered before falling asleep on your chest, arms wrapped tightly around you. "ty moya rodstvennaya dusha, malyshka" [you're my soul mate, babygirl]
"YA by proshel cherez vse eto snova tol'ko radi tebya, malysh" [I'd go through it all again just for you baby boy] you whispered, closing your eyes in the safety of his hold, meaning each of your words. You'd go through everything a thousand times over if it meant you'd have your Bucky back in your arms. Bucky sniffled, curling up with you, spending the rest of the day alternating between speaking sweet words and making you moan and cry over his cock until you couldn't move any longer. For the first time, he slept peacefully, not stirring once.
-
Ever since you'd come back, Bucky had turned into the biggest simp, alternating between acting like a menace and a complete lovesick puppy with no in between. It was worse when you were on the field, almost leading to Tony refusing to let you both go on missions at the same time.
"Oh god" Bucky groaned, seeing you step out in your sleek suit, the dark material clinging to your body, weapons strapped along your hips. You threw him a wink before running off to kick ass, his focus solely on you.
"Jesus Christ" He nearly moaned seeing you land a kick to an attacker before throwing you knife across the room, the blade landing perfectly between your targets eyebrows. "Baby, you're sexy"
"For fucks Sake Barnes, did you forget we can all hear you" Tony's exasperated voice crackled through, this not being the first time the soldier was distracted watching you fight. Sam and Steve snickered through the coms while Bucky shameless shrugged, still biting his lip, watching you move with ease.
"Have you seen my girl, Stark" Bucky sassed back, walking over bodies to grab you by your ass, squeezing it and smashing his lips against yours.
"Are you two fucking kissing?!" Tony sighed, hearing the sound of soft moans and smacking, "I'm putting you on a fucking leash, I'm getting you fixed Barnes"
"My naughty soldat" You giggled, pulling away, nipping your boyfriends pouty lip while he shook his head.
"Gonna be the death of me, pretty girl"
"You're both gonna be the death of all of us" Tony deadpanned, unable to understand how there was a man out there that was more horny and flirty than him. "I'm having Barnes neutered, for fucks sake I can see you drooling from over here"
-
Bucky was even worse watching you display your skills, his workout long forgotten while you sparred with Steve.
"Where the fuck did you learn that" Steve groaned while you giggled, holding your hand out to help him up while Bucky watched from the side with a cocky smirk.
"I taught her that" He threw you a wink, not so subtly adjusting his sweats.
"Of course you did" Steve huffed, surprised to find bruises on his body from where you'd hit him. "Jesus punk" He blushed heavily seeing his bestfriends raging hard on, scrambling away from the gym, knowing exactly what would come next.
The loud moans he heard moments later made him shake his head, happy he got out of there unlike the last time he saw the warning signs of a feral Bucky.
Aside from being more in love with you than ever, Bucky was also equally protective over you. He'd hug you with such care, always holding your head to his chest, his large arms covering you from the rest of the world, constantly fearing that even if he had you now, someone would come and take you away.
When he finally asked you to marry him, he paused several times, blinking through tears while down on one knee, your hand wiping his cheek, saying yes before he could even finish. The compound was transformed with flowers, candles with a small intimate wedding in the garden.
Steve and Sam stood by Bucky's side while Nat walked with you, your sweet soon to be husband biting back tears seeing his dream girl in her dress, the life he'd always imagine finally becoming a reality. When Tony pronounced you husband and wife, Bucky didn't stop kissing you till he nearly passed out, not a single dry eye surrounding you as he whisked you up in his arms.
-
Bucky felt a strong wave of emotion watching you flit around the kitchen, making his way over and wrapping his arms from behind, tucking his face into your neck. You blinked, feeling tears wet your skin, pulling away to find your husband sniffling.
"Baby, what's gotten into you" You cooed with concern, wiping away the tears that collected along his lashes, kissing his reddened nose. "Is everything okay?"
"Just-m'scared to lose you again" Bucky whispered, his hand coming to protectively wrap around your growing belly; you weren't showing much yet but he could still feel the little baby bump. "I can't loose you again angel, I can't go through that again"
"It won't happen Jamie" You wrapped your arms around his shoulders while he picked you up, setting you onto the counter before hiding against your neck again, hugging you tightly. "What's wrong baby, what's gotten you so scared"
"Can't believe I got you back. I got to marry my dream girl. We're starting a family, you're giving me a baby, I-it feels unreal. M'scared I'm gonna wake up and you'll-" He bit his lip, shuddering at the very thought, "You'll be gone"
"Baby boy look at me" You held his face again, making him look at you, "Would you ever let anyone take me from you again?"
Bucky looked horrifying, francially shaking his head, he'd burn the world to ashes before he let that happen.
"Never. Never angel, no one is taking you or our baby from me" He stated firmly while you hummed.
"See? I'll be just fine. I have my soldat" You whispered, melting against his chest. "No one can hurt me when I have my soldat"
Bucky finally relaxed, carrying you off to bed, his metal arm protecting your belly as he pulled the covers over you both. No one would ever take his little widow away again.
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astralis-ortus · 4 months
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beyond forever and eternity
✱ husband!bc x fem!reader
— love cannot survive on luck alone.
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w.count → 0.8k genre → fluff warning → chan referred to as chris, quite the amount of kisses, mild cussing, and the usual very ew-you're-so-in-love behavior. also, reader is addressed as wifey twice! a.n → based on this request! but friends, i think you need to stop me from all this domestic chan thing because i!! am!! dying!! from!! all!! the!! cuteness!!ㅠ /j ⋆ see masterlist
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the past year had felt like the best time of your life.
sure, the first 6 months were filled with one heck of an emotional rollercoaster—a bunch of final wedding preparations, taking care of all the confusing legal papers, making sure your new home with chris was up to both your expectations, and actually having the wedding within the span of 180 days made you wonder if everything was real.
the latter part of the year is when your new reality starts to sink in. some days, it happened when you woke up next to a softly snoring chris—curls as messy as a bird’s nest, yet you couldn’t help but tread your fingers through those dark locks. some others, it happened when you watch his back while he showed off his newly acquired cooking skill, giggling away while chris convinces you—though it sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself—that eveything’s going exactly to plan.
other days, however, it happens simply when you caught a glance of the stack of beautiful silver bands on your ring finger, gleaming softly under the light of your cozy living room. you’d then look at your husband sitting next to you, faint crease decorating his forehead as his gaze focuses on a project he’d been working on for the past hour or so. you’d gently bring your finger to tap on those crease, immediately erasing its existence as chris shifted his focus towards you, gaze softening along the appearance of his dimpled smile.
being married to chris had felt like coming home—like he has always been everything you’ve been looking for and more.
“has it started?”
chris’ soft voice along with the warmth of his arm snaking around your waist swiftly snapped you out of your trance, gaze returning to your husband’s smile. you silently shook your head, instead wrapping your arms around his waist and gave into his warmth while allowing a content sigh to slip past your lips. “wasn’t paying attention, honestly,” you admitted, to which he immediately returned with chuckle.
“you’re sleepy?” he gently planted his lips on your forehead while running his palm on your side. “wanna call it a night?”
“no!” you whined, lips pursing in protest. “i’m not sleepy. besides, it’s only like 2 minutes till new year, and i want to spend the first seconds awake with my husband,” you playfully emphasized—and there it was. the rosy bloom across his face quietly surfaces despite chris’ attempt to play it cool, and it never fails to amuse you.
guess it won’t be hard for you to bet that you’ll never be the only one in love in this relationship.
“gosh, wifey,” looking at you with a scrunched nose, chris finally let the adoration bubbling in his chest win when he playfully ruffles your hair—which, of course, earns a string of protests from you, “do you really love me that much?”
“think so,” you stuck out your tongue, eyes twinkling as you decide to further tease your now-red-as-a-tomato husband. “i think i love you so so so much to the point i might pass out. i mean, how can i not? you’re charming, you’re adorable, you’re handsome, you’re hot as fuck—how do you expect me not to? i’m just—“
you haven’t been paying attention—but again, how could you? your gaze had been fixated on chris’ beautiful features, taking notes on every minuscule scar and freckles painted across his blooming face; but as the plush of his lips shuts off your rambling ones, warm hands cradling your equally warm cheeks,
you could hear the fireworks within you harmonize with the colorful blasts outside the window of your hotel room.
you know you’re lucky—despite believing in the concept of soulmates, you know there are universes where your path with chris’ remains as distant, separated parallel lines. you know that nurturing your relationship with chris will have its ups and downs. you know what you have now with chris will forever be both unbreakable and fragile,
and you’re determined to turn your every day with chris as special as it could be.
“happy new year, wifey,” he mumbled quietly, lips fixed into a smile as it grazed against yours when he finally pulled away. pads of fingers tucking the stray strands off your face, chris followed the kisses across your face—on your forehead, your closed eyelids, your rosy cheeks, your soft jaw, before he returned his lips home onto yours.
“thank you for staying with me—for promising­ your forever to me, and i’m looking forward to spending my eternity with you,” with a smile apparent on his lips, his gaze were soft as he tenderly peered into your glossy ones.
“i love you—more than words could ever explain.”
©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡
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777gojosgf · 5 months
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ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD
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777GOJOSGF IS TYPING…
777gojosgf: tired!reader x satoru gojo
IN WHERE :: no matter how hard you try, your efforts will never be recognized as much as the ones of the strongest sorcerer.
a/n :: angsty time!
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YOU STARED AT THE mission report containing information on your latest mission handed out by the principal and that pitiful feeling swarmed in your belly. it didn’t make sense. you had a perfect score on everything but somehow it wasn’t considered enough and you were still not named a special grade.
it certainly couldn’t be your fault, not when you had spent morning and night training at the grounds of jujutsu high. you barely had an ounce of sleep as you had tackled the training dummies for hours, trying to boost your stamina by running for miles and trying to adapt to your cursed technique. you had never taken a break, always having your eye on the prize.
you were always ahead of everyone at a young age when you still attended a normal public high school, excelling at every subject and the teachers always praising you for your efforts and high marks. but everything was different now that you were suffocated by the terrors and demands of the jujutsu world.
in the realm of jujutsu, you had become lost in an abyss, and you were no longer the greatest. the smartest, the one you had to defeat to win. no, you had lost your prodigy label and had to start over because intelligence was not the sole requirement for survival. to learn how to fight and defend yourself, you must have physical strength. act rationally rather than emotionally.
as a result, you trained yourself until you were blue and bruised, and there was never a day when you didn't start the day with a morning workout and/or a night session. you had this need to be the greatest at everything, unsure of whose approval you sought. it did not matter. you only wanted the gratification of doing good and being respected for it, to be feared rather than despised. however, your hard work was in vain because you were not promoted to a higher level.
what the fuck did they want from you?
and when was it ever enough?
before you realised it, you had crushed the mission report, which had fallen from your strong hold onto the floor. you weren't sure if you were angry or sad; maybe it was a combination of the two that was boiling deep inside and surging through your body. it was so puzzling because you had trained yourself and knew the answer to everything. missions were no trouble for you, and even single missions went well; why the heck haven't you been named a special grade yet?
“what has gotten you into such a buzz?” you heard coming from down the hallway as you turned around only to face the sorcerer you had envied the moment you had become a jujutsu sorcerer yourself. of course it was the fucking six eyes himself.
with lengthy steps, he effortlessly filled the gap between the two of you, his gaze drawn to the crumbled paper on the ground. he used his skill to raise it up and unfold it so he could read what it stated, but he didn't understand why you were so upset about it. it was an excellent mission report, with no further casualties or difficulties. what was the big deal?
"you. the higher-ups. fucking everything, okay?! i’ve worked my fucking ass off for years. i still have the scars from when i initially visited these grounds and worked out till i fucking blacked out, just to resume once i woke up. do you realise how damn fortunate you are? how do you get practically everything? you can do whatever the fuck you want because you are goddamn gojo satoru— that is my problem." you yelled angrily with shaking legs and hands, angry tears welling up in your eyes, but you knew it wasn't fair because he hadn't chosen this kind of life and how everything turned out was simply a matter of luck, but you couldn't keep your indifference hidden.
if he had felt hurt by that, you wouldn’t have known because there wasn’t any kind of feeling displayed on his face. instead, he leaned against the wall with a blank expression and averted his gaze away from you, a small sigh escaping him.
suddenly it had felt as if the world collapsed on you as you slid against the wall and eventually sat on the ground with your arms on top of your knees, your head buried into your arms as the angry tears had trailed down your face. it wasn’t fair. nothing was fair. the higher ups, him, but also the way you reacted wasn’t something he deserved that and you knew that deep down. but still— it was bound to come out sometime.
“i’m so tired…” you whispered to practically no one at all with a shaky breath, your eyes closing as you felt a headache starting due to the amount of crying and a strained voice by yelling. you had expected him to leave and find something useful to do, to not take this venting bullshit from you.
instead, you sensed his presence next to you as he sat down with his legs spread out on the floor. his back was leaning against the wall as he looked up, but he hadn't said anything yet, and you weren't sure whether he was going to. it did have a strangely soothing sense with him seated next to you.
soon enough, he had silently wrapped his arm around you and moved you closer to him. you hadn’t questioned any of his actions, you couldn’t when it felt as if there was a cloud above your head. Instead you nestled into his side and looked up at him teary eyed. “i’m sorry.” you breathed out defeated and gave him a weak smile which he only shaked his head to in response.
"don’t worry about it. you have a point, but i didn’t chose this either. you know? but it's true that they haven't been treating you fairly; i expected you'd be promoted months, if not years ago." he remarked, but he couldn't meet your gaze even though he had removed his blindfold, his white hair strewn haphazardly across his head. you merely nodded, about to open your month and clarify that it wasn't his fault, when he placed a finger on your lips, causing you to scowl.
it made him chuckle, the scowl you had on your face. he admired your feistiness and ability to stay strong even though things weren’t working out. perhaps it made you even stronger than him in a way.
“i know what you’re going to say, but i shouldn’t have showed off my abilities everywhere. however, i’ll fix this. alright? you just go and have a good night sleep.” he reassured you which only left you confused. how was he going to fix this and what for? you had basically just thrown a tantrum like a small child.
your thoughts were interrupted as you felt him drop a kiss on your head, causing blood to surge to your cheeks. you were about to comment on it, but he had already stood up and reapplied his blindfold, making his way to whatever he was planning to do.
"hey, satoru!" you yelled out from behind, still seated on the floor, arms on top of your knees. he came to a halt in his tracks and casually turned around; if you hadn't known better, you could have imagined there was a faint red glow on his own face.
“thank you.”
“no worries, y/n.”
the next morning, you awakened and put on your uniform, eager to get out of your room, until you discovered the mail slipped beneath your door. you frowned as you kneeled to the ground and picked up the letter. as you read what it stated, a huge grin appeared on your face, and a sense of victory ran through your body.
you were officially named a special grade.
you had no idea how satoru had done this or how he dealt with it, but you were extremely grateful. you realised you may not have earned what he had done for you after complaining about him in such a dramatic manner, but you couldn't help how you felt.
though it wasn’t long before you managed to figure out a way on how to thank him.
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indierpgnewsletter · 26 days
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Traveller & Champions
What is your relationship with the characters you play in RPGs? What do you want it to be?
In Traveller (the classic version, I add, tipping my hat), you make a character through what is now called the “lifepath method”. That name is a bit misleading because in this game, it’s more of a career path. And maybe more specifically, your military career path. Traveller was a game of veterans and if you want to get complicated, that’s what we should talk about. But let’s keep it light and focus on this unassuming table:
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Now honestly, this table is iconic but I couldn’t make sense of it without having read the rules of the game (twice). But to put it simply, you’re rolling dice to see which branch of the intergalactic military you joined (either enlisting in your first choice or being drafted by whoever would be willing to take you). Then, you roll to see if you survive your first term, whether you become a commissioned officer, whether you get promoted, and whether you’re allowed to re-enlist for the next term or forced into an early retirement. If do re-enlist, you repeat the process till you retire or die.
Apart from picking your first choice (which you might not get), there are no decisions made in this process (don’t disagree yet!). You roll the dice and whatever happens to your character, happens. You just find out. You might die – and if you’re serving in the Scouts, it’s very likely you do – and you just have to start again with a new character. I think consensus is that this method can be surprising but detached.
Let’s talk about Champions. Traveller came out in 1977 and was revised constantly over the next decade. Champions came out in 1980 and is remembered by many as the classic superhero RPG. In 1984, we got Champions 3e which I understand is what cemented it as a landmark in RPG history.
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In Champions, you build your character. You get skills (Security Systems, Swinging), Special Effects (Extra Limb, Mind Control), Advantages (Useable at Range), and Disadvantages (Unusual Looks). You pick your skills, spend power points to buy your powers, balance your advantages and disadvantages, and come out the other end – sometimes hours later – with your character. It’s fair to say that Champions is only decisions – it’s nothing but decisions. And that feels different. I think consensus is that this method has lots of strategy and self-expression but is very involved.
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At first, it feels like these two games are on opposite ends of a spectrum. But actually, there’s a contradictory impulse in both of them. When you play Traveller, it’s a step-by-step process of discovery. You roll the dice and learn something about the character and then you immediately contextualize it. With every fact you learn, you spin the fiction. If you needed to roll a 7 to not die and you roll exactly a 7, you think, “Wow, they must’ve had a near-death experience. What could it be?”. And these are decisions. Big, important, affecting decisions. Often Traveller‘s lifepath doesn’t spit out a random character, it spits out someone that you’ve closely watched struggle and live for years before they come to you. If that doesn’t make you care about them, what is? At the same time, when you play Champions, you can build and tinker and strategize and eventually make somebody who you might not actually enjoy playing. Sometimes, you get caught up in the general aura of optimization and make somebody effective but that isn’t the same as somebody fun. Or you build them “wrong” and you get a character that is out-of-step with the rest of the group in power, which ends up annoying in other ways.
To zoom out a little, this isn't a criticism of either game. The point is this spectrum of controlled character creation starts to look a little superficial. Reality is much more complicated. Random can become involved and self-expression can become detached. So then what about about these two different methods is actually the important part?
(This first appeared on the Indie RPG Newsletter.)
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deansapplepie · 10 months
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Till THE DEAD do us part |Chapter 13
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A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story. This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.
Chapter 12 Chapter 14
Series Masterlist Main Masterlist
Chapter 13: This group’s broken
Summary: Randall is still a problem the group needs solve and come to an agreement about. The happenings of the barn is still something shaking some people. Feelings and traumas from the past comes to haunt Y/N making her anxiety boil and overthink a lot.
Warnings: swearing, angst, death, mentions of violence, gore, suicide attempt (not narrated, but mentioned), mentions of depression, mentions of torture, mentions of execution, traumas, anxiety, mentions of abusive relationships, fear of abandonment, brief discreet mentions of sex, loss, grief. Minors do not interact.
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)
Word Count: 5,834
Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. Also, there’s a bunch of warnings in this one but there’s also fluff, comfort and a bit of fun.
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Finally Randall’s leg was well enough so he could survive alone in the wild that was Earth now, so Rick and Shane would carry him miles away from the farm and release him. You weren’t very happy about Rick going alone with Shane.
“Let me go with you, please.” You pleaded Rick for the millionth time, Shane wasn’t someone reliable anymore, you couldn’t risk losing your brother again and have Shane coming back with some lame excuse how he made for Otis.
“Y/N, I’m the one here with self defense skills, not you. I can handle myself well without you. I need you here.” Rick said, and that would be the last time he would tell you, he was losing his temper already. “No discussion.”
“Be careful, please. He’s dangerous.” You hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
“I’ll be, don’t worry. I need this time alone with him. I’m coming back.” He assured you and hoped it would really turn out like this, because you could see the madness in his eyes, and by how we was obsessed with Lori… you didn’t doubt he would be able to do atrocities even to his ‘brother’.
After they left, you couldn’t get rid of the uneasy feeling you had on the pitch of your stomach. You were going to help around in the farm and in the house, but your mind couldn’t stop the worry. You were giving the horses water when you heard a knock on the stables door, you look to your side and you saw Daryl. As much as the idea of scaring you was tempting enough, he chose not to do so.
“Just wanted to let ya know I’m gonna hunt, maybe bring somethin’ good.” He approached you.
“Ok, be careful, please and don’t come back late. I’m already worried enough by Rick.” You said, then looked both sides and didn’t see anyone around. You tiptoed and pecked his lips.
He blushed, he had been doing way more than this with you and he blushed because you gave him a small kiss inside a stable where the only witnesses were the horses. He knew you were worried about Rick being alone with Shane, things between you and Shane had gone bad since the day of the happenings of the barn and it was just going down. When Daryl told you one night that he thought Shane had killed Otis, things spiraled really quick and you started seeing Shane with different eyes, many attitudes from him made sense actually. He wasn’t the person that you used to know anymore.
“Dun worry. Rick’s tough, he basically came back from the dead, nothing bad is happening to him.” He said, he could practically read your mind and know everything you were thinking about it.
“And you?”
“Me too. I’m gonna be careful. I promise, I’ll be back in one piece.” He gave you a quick kiss, you said your goodbyes and you went back to your chores.
Lori was inside the house helping with the chores and also helping Maggie taking care of Beth. She was still not good, she was in a state of depression that got all of you worried. Lori was preparing a lunch for Beth, so you were around the kitchen with her and Maggie. Maggie was talking about Glenn with Lori, you decided to not participate of the conversation, but you were listening to everything. Lori was more experienced on the topic of relationships, you knew what was good or not, but just theoretically. Until now you had had just one boyfriend before Daryl and it was a shitty experience, so you didn’t know if you had something wise to say even though you were older than Maggie. You thought it was a bit too much when Lori said that Glenn should man up, imagine saying it to the young man, he would be sad or really offended, or both.
“Glenn is just scared, he’s a good guy. You’re probably his first love, I can’t say it for sure, but that’s what it seems. He’ll overcome this fear of him. Don’t worry.” You passed an arm on Maggie’s shoulder and gave a little squeeze on her arm to reassure her.
“And how about you and grumpy man? Have you already said the words?” She elbowed you playfully.
“Hmm… no. Not exactly. I don’t know if it’s like this.” You said, you were always reserved about your personal matters, always keeping everything to yourself, afraid to let people know your feelings or to be exposed and feel weak. But maybe, some girl talk wouldn’t be that bad. “He said the other day I was his and I also said it to him…” You paused thinking if you’d say the other thing that came to your mind to them.
“And…?” Lori asked. “We know there’s more. Spill it.”
“He… he said that his… you know… was mine.” You blushed instantly talking about it and thinking about it. Was it correct to tell such thing to others? You never knew what was ok, and what wasn’t, but it’s not like if you were telling all the sordid details of what you two did.
Lori made a face as if she was thinking ‘wow, the man really have some balls’ and Maggie just had a fit of giggles, giving you a side hug and squeezing you. “It’s almost the same thing as saying that 3 words.” Maggie observed.
“It isn’t, this is possessiveness which is normal in relationships even the healthy ones. But anybody can have this without love.” You told Maggie, she was young, probably didn’t have unhealthy relationships she wouldn’t know. You were maybe 8 or 9 years older than her, it was a different experience, especially with broken people.
“Well… everybody can see, but we can’t stop you from being stubborn. I need to go help Glenn, but if you need anything you can call me.” She said and then turned to Lori. “Thank you so much for helping with Beth.”
“It’s nothing really.” Lori said and got the tray to give lunch for Beth.
You stayed at the house and helped Lori at the kitchen, you washed some dishes and cleaned and organized the room. After one hour or so, Lori went to Beth’s room to get the tray back. She came back with untouched food, Beth couldn’t continue like that. When she was throwing away what Beth didn’t eat, she suddenly stopped and ran from the kitchen.
“What happened? Lori?” You asked her, but she was already gone. She came back a knife in hand and in a rush.
“Go and Keep an eye on Beth. I’m gonna bring Maggie or Hershel.” She said and left.
You left the kitchen and went to Beth’s room, on your way you put the pieces together and realized Beth had hidden the knife and was probably going to attempt something against herself. Soon Lori arrived with Maggie and Andrea, Maggie asked to be left alone with Beth and all of you went back to the kitchen.
You were trying to be in good terms with Andrea again, so you decided you’d try not to talk back at her when she said stupid things, even though they were talking about Beth. You just stayed there watching while they talked Andrea thought Beth should make her own choice, which is very different from what happened with her. Beth is just a kid and she’s not dying because she was bitten, so why let her commit suicide? She should be talked to and taken care of to help her get better. You bit your tongue trying to not express yourself, but you just couldn’t contain it when Andrea brought up the fact that Lori had her husband back, her child was saved, she had a baby on the way and had a ‘boyfriend’. And Andrea had to finish bringing you up in the middle of the thing, did you disagree with her? Yes. But did you say anything about it? No, just on your mind. So why bring you to the discussion?
“And you…” She pointed at you startling you at the suddenly call. “You have your brother, your nephew, a new nibling on the way and you’re fucking Dixon like rabbits, you would never understand.”
“Andrea, are you serious? I wasn’t even in the discussion. Why do you always involve me in your shit? You don’t get to speak like this to Lori, we had a lot of blessings, but we also suffered like everyone else. Do you think we were happy the whole time we thought Rick was dead? Or that it didn’t cross our minds that Carl was going to die? You think we didn’t suffer because of Amy, Jim, Jacqui, Sophia or all the others lost we had along the way?” She said everything she wanted to Lori and now she was going to listen to you. “And why do you mind who I fuck? You’re fucking Shane, and nobody told you a word. Mind your own business.”
You almost didn’t stop to breath while the words just came out of your mouth like a waterfall. “I wasn’t going to say anything regarding Beth, but she’s only sixteen. She’s a kid, we have to protect her and try to help her get better, and not encourage the way out. Andrea, I think we’re never going to be in good terms again, there’s no way. You’re not the same anymore.”
You left the house and went back to the camp, finding Carl and Luna playing with a stick. Carl had been acting colder and colder in the last days, it was good to see him being a kid, even if it was for a brief moment. You played a little with them, but to be honest you were still nervous about Andrea and worried about Beth.
After 30 minutes, maybe one hour, you didn’t know exactly, you heard a commotion in the house. You told Carl to stay there and ran to see what happened. When you arrived to the source Lori and Maggie had just opened the door to the bathroom and there was a crying Beth, hand on her bleeding pulse, asking for help and saying she was sorry. You learned Maggie had left Beth alone with Andrea and it was her biggest mistake, because she left the girl alone and God knows what she said to her. Maggie had a fight with Andrea and told her to never again step in the house. You were done, your stress level was up on the sky already.
When it was almost getting dark you saw Daryl coming back, you walked in his direction happy to see him and have an excuse to not be in the camp, hence near to Andrea. You met him halfway, he had some rabbits and squirrels, you knew it probably wasn’t what he really wanted but you were grateful for any meat that he brought back.
“I thought you’d never comeback.” You said walking by his side.
“I said I’d comeback.” He answered and took a quick glance at you. “Jus’ didn’t wanna comeback without something.”
“We’re all grateful to you, bringing meat or not.” You said while you arrived the small camp of yours.
He took everything he needed to start to skin what he brought and clean so it would be ready for consumption. You sat near him observing his work, you never tried, but now you had observed him doing it so much that you’d probably be able to skin something if you needed or wanted to.
“Wha’s wrong?” He asked still concentrated on his job. Once again, you were surprised on how he could know something was not right. “I can see all over ya that somethin’ is bothering ya.”
“Today was a stressful day” You propped your elbows on your knees and rested your face between your hands. You recalled all the situation with Beth and Andrea, and you just wish this day didn’t happen, and it was far from being one of your worst days.
“Wha’ happened?” He lifted his head from his work and took a look at you. You looked tired, everyone was always tired nowadays, but it was not only physical it seemed that your mind was also tired.
“Andrea was a bitch. I swear I tried to be on good terms with her again. And Beth tried the way out, I believe encouraged by Andrea. Maggie left them alone and Andrea also left Beth alone.” You gave him the short story of all that happened. “I should have gone with you.”
“Yeah, ya should.” That was his way of saying ‘I missed you’.
Soon you saw the car in which Rick, Shane and Randall left arriving back in the property. When you saw Rick getting off the car you felt relieved to see him, but apparently they had comeback with Randall. Shit, it wasn’t over. As soon as Daryl finished skinning and cleaning the hunt, you went to to the camp to meet Rick and know what happened.
Once you arrived you saw that Rick had bruises and cuts on his face, no way it was the kid, walkers? No. It was Shane. Damn, he had the audacity to attack Rick. You didn’t even think, you turned around, hot headed and ready to go look for Shane and beat the hell out of him.
“Where d’ya think ya’re going?” Daryl hold your arm stopping you to go anywhere. He knew where you were going, sometimes he could read you so easily that it surprised him.
“I’m going to give Shane hell, nobody gets to touch my brother.” You yanked your arm from Daryl’s hand, just for him to catch you again, holding his arms around you so you couldn’t go. That wasn’t the moment for you to be reckless.
“Y/N, do you think I was just beaten? I also beat him.” Rick reasoned with you.
“Either way, it wasn’t enough, he deserves worse.” You said, still fighting – in vain - in Daryl’s arm.
“Woman, stop. Ya’re being more hot-head and stubborn than me.” Daryl turned you around and hold you by the shoulders. “Look at me.” He commanded, and you looked at him, right in his beautiful blue eyes. “Don’t do anything stupid. He’s uncontrollable and ya know it. If he lays a finger on ya, I dunno what I’m capable of doing and I dun wanna find out.”
“Ok.” You answered and didn’t try to go for Shane, but you still felt like ending him. “Why did you bring the kid back?” You directed the question to Rick.
“He said he studied with Maggie. Which means he knows where the farm is.” Rick ran his hand on his face. “We’ll need another solution.”
The other day, after breakfast, Daryl went to the room where Randall was, he said he was going to talk with him. It was taking a long time for him to return and you were starting to get worried.
“Ok, that’s it. I’m going to see what is taking him so long to come back.” You told your brother.
“Don’t, the kid is handcuffed. There’s nothing he can do against Daryl.” Rick said standing on your way. “I don’t wanna you close to that guy.”
“I think you had said you’d stop treating me like a child, Rick.” You looked at his face and you could see there was something wrong. “Are you two hiding something? That’s it? Now you have secret agreements between both of you?”
Before Rick could say anything, you saw Daryl coming in your direction. Was that Blood on his hand? ‘Holy shit! What the hell have you done Daryl Dixon?’, you thought. He arrived telling you all the information he got from the kid, there were 30 in his group, they were violent and dangerous, they raped women. You followed Daryl to your tent, you could feel he was still angry, so you were thinking about what should be the best approach.
“D. Let me see your hands.” You requested and he started organizing his things to leave and go into the woods.
“There’s nothing to see, I’m good.” He said with some arrows in his hand.
“Daryl.” He ignored you.
“Daryl Dixon.” He ignored you again, stuffing things on his backpack, so you just got close to him silently and yanked his backpack throwing it on the ground.
“What the fuck Y/N?” He shouted at you, now you had his full attention.
“Stop, this shit! I’m talking to you, your hands are hurt! Let me take care of them.” You told him your voice high. He looked at you impatient. You took his hand and guided him to one of the beach chairs. “Sit.”
“I ain’t a dog.” He complained while you made him sit.
“So, why are you obeying me?” You threw back while you picked the First Aid kit inside the tent. You were playing with fire and you knew it.
He tried to get up while he mumbled something in protest that you couldn’t understand. But you were faster than him and pressed his shoulder down so he would sit again. You took the other chair and brought it close to him, sitting in front of him, your legs between his so you could be closer to take care of his hand.
“Gimme your paw, I mean, your hand.” You joked one hand extended on his direction waiting for him to give you his hand. “If I’m a puppy, you might as well be one. Or maybe you’re a Kitten, you are as skittish as one.”
He gave you his left hand very reluctantly, but he knew you would not let him be if he didn’t. You took his hand and saw how his knuckles were hurt, your heart ache by seeing his hand like this, but you also felt uneasy about the young man that was on the other side of his fist. You took some alcohol and wet a cotton swab to pass where he was hurt.
“It’s gonna hurt.” You alerted him, he didn’t say anything. He just observed your small hand holding his and tendering his wounds with the cotton swab, hissing when it hurt too much. “Did Rick ask you to do this?”
“No.” He answered, short… good he didn’t want to talk.
“Did he know about it?”
“Maybe.” He answered eyes on your hands now cleaning the wounds with boric-water.
“Or he did or he didn’t. Gonna take it as he did, he was acting suspect.” You stated, looking at your first aid kit for some ointment.
“Are ya angry at me?” He asked while you passed the ointment on his wounds.
“No, just concerned and upset. Gimme your other hand.” You took his other hand and started to give the same care. “I don’t like both of you hiding things from me.”
“ ‘m sorry, ya dun agree with what I’ve done, do ya?” He asked, head still down paying attention to you.
“Torturing isn’t right.”
“I didn’t have an option, we needed the information about his group.” You cleaned his other hand. “His group… the things he said they did… he’s not someone to be around or for us to let go, he knows where the farm is.”
“So, do you think we should kill him?” You asked a cotton swab passing on his hand.
“Yes.” He said, you were conflicted. You were always taught that killing was wrong, you can’t take life from someone. Unless it’s a walker, of course. Or, if your life is in danger. But execute someone? It sounded wrong, but at the same time… you should think about the group safety. “Don’t ya agree?”
“I don’t know… I think it’s wrong, but I also see that we’re out of better options.” You passed the ointment on his hand.
“Are ya comin’ to the woods with me?” He asked a little apprehensive that you wouldn’t want to be with him because you were upset.
“Thought you’d never ask.” You looked at him and smiled, no way you’d be stuck in the farm again in the middle of all the chaos.
You were having things done to go, when you saw Dale arriving followed by Luna swinging her tail. Dale came to talk to you about the decision of killing Randall, he wanted to know what both of you thought, and of course try to convince you otherwise if you thought the boy should be killed.
“I’m not sure Dale, really. At the same time I think we shouldn’t, I don’t see any other solution.” You said, despite you thought your opinion would not be so important in the end. Dale tried reasoning with Daryl to no avail.
“This group’s broken.” He said, and when you heard that… you couldn’t help but feel bad. Was really your group broken? Did Daryl think the group wasn’t good enough for him anymore? Did he want to leave? Would he leave without you? Would he even tell you if he decided to leave? Was he tired of you?
You were so caught up in your anxious thoughts that you didn’t even saw that Dale was long gone and Daryl was calling you so you could go. “Pup, what’s wrong?” He asked, his hand waving in front of you worried.
“Nothing.” You lied, and he knew you lied. “Let’s go?”
He got his things, you got yours, Luna followed you and you walked silently until you reached the woods. You were open and comfortable with Daryl, you always were and it even annoyed you some times, because you would speak whatever is on your mind, and in your opinion you said things you shouldn’t say. But you couldn’t talk about your feelings, or you tried not to, because of a bunch of insecurities clouding your thoughts. He wasn’t also very comfortable about talking about feelings, so it was understandable, but at the same time he felt uneasy if he didn’t know everything that’s on your mind. He held your hand and it startled you from your unstoppable thoughts.
“Ya lied again.” He didn’t took his eyes from the woods searching for any danger or possible hunt. His voice didn’t change the tone, there was no anger or negative feelings on his speaking.
“I don’t wanna talk about my feelings.” You said looking at your feet attentive to where you stepped, your other hand slightly brushing over Luna’s head.
“But I want to know what ya’re feeling. I need to.” He said, damn… did he sound vulnerable? Was he weak? He couldn’t allow himself to look pathetic and weak, but he also didn’t want to mistreat you. “ ‘m not good talking ‘bout feelings, but I always need to know yers.”
You stopped walking and you turned to him, now holding both of his hands, or more like his hands engulfing yours. “Be honest.”
“Never lied to ya.” He said looking at your face while you were looking down at your hands. “Look at me, please.”
You lifted your head, looking right at his eyes and all you saw was worry. You took a deep breath taking all the courage you had to speak. “Are you…” ‘not happy with me?’ You wanted to complete but stopped mid-sentence. “Do you wanna leave us?”
“Of course not. Where did this come from?” He asked, but before you could answer his mind started to put the pieces together. “That’s because I said the group’s broken, isn’t it?”
“Yes” you said, just that. Unable to say more or add anything else that were running like a tornado inside your mind.
“It wasn’t a lie. I think the group’s broken. Shane’s crazy. Andrea’s reckless and listens to Shane. Carol’s still broken because of Sophia. Glenn… if Hershel decided to kick us from the farm, he’d stay behind and I don’t blame him. This group isn’t like it used to be, not that we were perfect befor’ , we never were.” You took all his words putting everything together and trying to reason what he said. Still feeling uneasy. “Wha’s on yer head?”
“It’s just… when you said it, it seemed like you didn’t care anymore about the group or what happens with it.” You looked at his growing bangs that fell on his forehead, or you wouldn’t be able to say it if you looked at his eyes. “Or…” You paused, no, no, you couldn’t say what you were thinking not at all. You’d scare him, he’d leave you.
“Or wha’ baby?” You looked at his eyes again, and with the worry you saw a softness that you didn’t quite know what it meant. He never called you ‘baby’ outside of the sheets and it made your heart jump and butterflies fly in your stomach.
“Or…” you shifted your eyes to look at your hands, tears threatening to fall. Shit. Why were you so emotional and making a big thing of something this small. “That you didn’t want me and would leave.”
Things had been so good between both of you, that Daryl forgot you still had traumas from your past relationship, traumas that would trigger only when you were in a relationship and could experience things again. And now, was one of those moments. He couldn’t imagine half the shit you’ve been put through so you’d think he would leave you or that he didn’t want you, after he asked you to live with him, after he showed you his scars… after both of you broke so many walls that were built around yourselves.
He let go of your hands and hugged you, you always reassured him when he had his insecurities, now was the moment for him to do the same for you. “I ain’t leaving.” One of his arms was around your waist while the other was in your head bringing your face to hide between his chest and shoulder. “I want ya, and I dun see myself not wanting ya any time soon.”
It was as if a tap was open and the tears that were in your eyes fell making you let little sniffs and hold both hands on Daryl’s vest. “I told Rick, and I’m telling ya now, I ain’t playing with ya.” He didn’t put any names on what you had, he never said ‘I like you’ or ‘I love you’, he didn’t even know how to name what he felt or if he could feel any of those things. But he knew he wanted you, he needed you and he was going to protect you. He had already told you, you were his and indirectly that he was yours, but he couldn’t bring any of those words, these simple words scared him… So he said what he could manage to come out of his mouth. “We’re together.”
You took your face from his chest and looked at his face, he was serious, this wasn’t any sick joke. You should’ve known, you knew Daryl, he wasn’t like that… and you never doubted it. You shouldn’t start doing it now just because you had a relationship. He was not him. He was Daryl and you knew you could trust him. “I’m sorry. I think my period is close, or something…” It was probably something, but you could always blame the hormones, so why not?
He kissed the top of your head tenderly and looked at your face again, now you were better. You looked more like yourself when there wasn’t all those intrusive thoughts and anxiety. “What do ya say I teach ya a little bit of hunting and tracking?” He asked.
“I was waiting for the day you’d offer me this.” You smiled, your hands now resting flat open on his chest. “I’d love if you taught me.”
When it was close to sunset you and Daryl came back to the farm, you didn’t hunt anything as he taught you were still learning so it didn’t go good. He held your hand in his intertwining your fingers and you walked in silence, Luna leading the way in front of you sometimes stopping to wait for your slow asses.
In the moment you arrived at the farm Rick made a call, he was waiting for both of you to make a reunion so everyone could say their opinions about the boy Randall. Everyone except Dale wanted to kill the young man, Dale was extremely disappointed. You still didn’t know what to think about it, but you knew Dale was right.
“I’m with Dale.” You suddenly said and walked to stay by Dale’s side, even though you knew there was no way of winning the vote, you wanted to stay true to yourself. “He’s not his group and as far as we know he didn’t commit a crime that he deserves death penalty.”
You felt like you would combust at any moment just by the stares of Rick and Daryl that didn’t quite understand why you were siding with Dale and not thinking clearly about the wellbeing of the group. Shane also looked at you like you were insane, but you didn’t give a single fuck about it, so it was ok. The others were neutral at you. Soon Andrea also said she was with Dale, but in the end you three weren’t enough to deprive the group from killing Randall.
Everybody left the room to continue their activities, it was getting dark so Daryl, Rick and Shane would take the prisoner to do what they needed to. You were ready to descend the porch stairs when Daryl held your arm slightly and put you aside.
“We need to talk.” He said, and you already knew.
“Is it because I agreed with Dale?” You asked, you knew the answer. “Do you hate me because I disagreed from the group?” All that mattered was that if he would change about you just because you didn’t agree with them.
“Yeah, and I dun hate ya.” Actually it was quite the opposite, but he was concerned about your choices.
“I knew the majority of us would choose his death, my vote would make no difference. So I decided to stay true to myself.” You said, you could see understanding crossing his face by each word you said. “Just because I don’t think it’s right, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be done.”
He nodded at you. “Alright, I ain’t upset. Go stay with Lori while we do this.”
You were with Lori when you saw the three taking Randall to the barn, you held your sister’s hand as a comfort for you. You weren’t going to see the execution, but knowing someone, a human being would be killed in the same place you were was scaring. You were comfortable killing walkers, they weren’t alive anymore, they were just walking corpses. In reality you thought it was merciful to kill the monster that once was a person.
“Don’t think much about it, it’s worse if you do.” Lori tried to calm your nerves, but it was impossible to not think about it.
After some time you didn’t listen to any gun shot and soon you saw Rick and Carl arriving to camp. Wait, Carl? Shit. Shit. Shit. Rick explained that Carl went there to see and that he was encouraging to kill the man. What was happening to the kid? He couldn’t lose himself so quickly like this. Rick wasn’t able to do this with Carl looking, so he postponed the execution.
“Where’s Daryl?” You asked, you saw everyone but him.
“He’s locking Randall again, he’s probably gonna be here soon.” As soon as he finished talking all of you listened to extremely pained screams.
Dale!
You ran in the direction of the screams, Daryl being the first to arrive started shouting for help. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was bad. All of you arrived almost at the same time and what you saw was heartbreaking, all his guts coming out of his ripped stomach. No. You cried. No.
“Hershel!” Rick shouted, the only thing he thought was you all needed him there to take care of Dale.
“It’s too late, Rick.” You said, tears rolling down your cheeks. You knew as much medicine as Hershel knew, both of you vets, the old man was just more experienced and have treated more people than you, that had only cleaned T.’s wound and took care of Daryl’s hands. “There’s nothing he can do.”
Hershel arrived and said the same thing, you couldn’t even move Dale. He was agonizing. Andrea pleaded that someone did something. Everyone was in pain by seeing Dale like that. He didn’t deserve this kind of death. Rick aimed his gun at Dale, it was best if someone ended this for him. You turned your back, you didn’t want to see, you had already seen more than you wanted to see. You wait for the gun shot, but before you listen to it there’s a raspy voice. “Sorry, brother.” And soon after Daryl’s voice the sound of the shot.
You were waiting for the shot. You knew it was going to happen, but you jumped at it a cry living your lips. You covered your mouth trying to muffle your sobs. You felt a pain in your chest, everybody felt it. There were cries, sobs and lamenting.
That night you cried yourself to sleep, and it wasn’t a peaceful one, even having Daryl’s soothing presence near you.
Dale was the group’s heart and now you felt like your group were definitely broken.
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a-killer-obsession · 5 months
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Wavelengths [Killer x Reader, Heat x Reader]
🔞 Minors DNI 🔞
A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.
CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.
Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1
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Chapter 7 - Trust
You help Mohawk give the crew their annual medical checkups.
WC: ~4k
Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth
Apparently the Kid Pirates took their health more seriously than Yin would have guessed, because during dinner it was decided that tomorrow Yin would start her new job in the infirmary by assisting with annual medical checkups. Apparently Mohawk was adamant that the crew have regular health assessments, though to be honest only the top dogs ever usually made it through more than one annual checkup. Henchmen and cabin boys didn't often survive that long. Regardless, he kept well organized records of everyone currently on the ship, with manila folders containing sheets of information, from medical history to blood types to work he'd done himself. They were all kept in careful alphabetical order in filing cabinets that sat in the infirmary, organized by first name since many of the ship's occupants didn't have a surname.
With the addition of Yin's skills he was determined to add a new sheet of paper to each file, documenting old bone breaks, as well as any current internal issues that he might not have been able to catch without scanning equipment. The crew wasn't due for their annuals for another month or so, but he was excited to test out her abilities, so he'd convinced Kid to bring it forward.
She followed him to the infirmary after breakfast, where he gave her a quick tour of the room before performing her own checkup. He usually liked to do an initial interview when a new crewmate came on board but there hadn't really been the opportunity to do it till now. Anytime she'd been free, he'd been busy.
She gave him the short version of her life, he wasn't shocked to hear how the marines had treated her. They discussed contraceptives for a short while, but in truth he didn't really know much about them, since he was used to working for a crew of only men. She told him she had some sort of implant the commodore had forced on to her, so he made a note to look in to it, but left it be at that. The entire female reproductive system was something he was going to need to study now. He at least didn't need to inquire about her last cycle, or how irregular her period was, since he'd heard from Heat what happened during her initiation. He'd been unsurprised to discover the slave mark burned in to her skin in the middle of her back, it was long healed since it had been probably twenty years since she was branded.
“Any old injuries to note?” He asked, pulling out the new page he'd whipped up yesterday and photocopied a million times. It had a simple outline of a human, duplicated and labeled ‘front’ and ‘back’, with space around the edges so he could make notes and draw arrows to mark notable injuries.
“I broke my left ankle when I was learning to moon step, when I was about fourteen,” she said, tapping her lip with her index finger while she tried to recall past injuries, “oh and I dislocated my right hip when I was eight”
“How'd you do that?” He asked, making quick notes on the page.
“Got raped by a man too big for me,” she said plainly. He paused and put down his pen, letting out a heavy sigh. She seemed indifferent, like she'd just told him she'd fallen from a tree or something. You know, something normal for an eight year old to have done. He didn't pry further, she'd already given him her life story, he didn't need more information.
“I just need to check your eyes and ears and we can start calling the crew in for their checks,” he said, wheeling his stool over to sit in front of her. She was sitting over the side of the examination table. The infirmary wasn't large, but it was big enough for a decent size desk, an examination table, and a couple of more comfortable beds for those who needed a quiet place to recover, or required observation. The walls were lined with cabinets, many of them under lock and key, bookcases containing medical journals, and several tall filing cabinets. The room didn't have any windows, since it was smack in the middle of the building that sat above deck towards the back of the ship, and it smelt heavily of medical grade disinfectant.
“Can you remove your mask for me?” He asked politely, otoscope in hand.
“I can but you have to be quick, did Killer explain how my mask works to you?” She asked.
“He did, you won't be able to hear or see me properly, correct?” He said, “I'll be quick, just look straight ahead and stay still, I'll put your mask back on as soon as I'm done”
“Okay then, I think I trust you,” she slid her mask off and placed it on the bed beside her, sitting as still as she could, “okay, go ahead,” she couldn't make out her own voice, but she hoped she was speaking.
He gasped as he looked at her eyes and saw the grey-pink, no whites or iris or discernable pupil visible on them. He pushed it aside for now, he had to check her ears first. He moved quickly, knowing that every second he took was another second for her to become overwhelmed. Killer had warned that in the past she'd been known to become feral when she was without her mask, and he didn't feel like getting bitten today.
Her ears looked healthy, so he swapped his otoscope for his ophthalmoscope, rolling his stool to be directly in front of her and gently pulling her eyelids away to see more of her eyeballs. It was useless, he couldn't make out anything remotely human on her eyes other than the shape - whatever was going on with them was outside of his skillset. He sighed and gave up, putting the tool down and picking her mask up to slide carefully over her head. She felt it starting to touch her, so she quickly took over and shimmied it into its usual comfortable position.
“All done?” She asked.
“All done, thanks for not biting me,” he half laughed as he scribbled notes in her chart.
“I only do that to men who ask nicely,” he assumed she winked after that but he couldn't tell past the visor.
“Right,” he tried to brush it off, he wasn't one who was comfortable or who knew how to react to open flirting, “so, with the others. I'll do all my usual examinations, and when I'm done I'll have you scan them. I want to hear about any current or old injuries, and any abnormalities you see. I've never had access to scanning equipment so it'll be mostly new information for me.”
“Okay, can do doc!” She replied, moving from the exam table to the desk, sitting on the edge and kicking her feet.
“One last thing,” Mohawk said as he stood to go find his first patient. Most of the crew thought medical checks were for pussies and would no doubt be unwilling victims, “everything in this room comes under doctor-patient confidentiality okay? You're my nurse now, everything you hear is to be kept private. And keep it professional, you may be surprised how many of these men have STIs. If I hear a single laugh while I'm looking at someone's dick I'll have Killer drown you, got it?”
“Genitals don't phase me, most of the showers in the marines were mixed gender,” she shrugged, “you may be surprised to hear how many dicks I've come face first with to check for UTIs”
“Okay, good, we should have no issues then,” he said, “get off the desk, it's not professional. Sit in my chair till I need your assistance. I'll be mostly on the stool anyway”
“Roger that, doc,” she gave a mock salute and slid off the desk as he left.
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Yin really was surprised at how many henchmen had STIs, and by the time they were done she was sure she could recite Mohawk's safe sex spiel of the top of her head, word for word. A few henchmen had been suffering in silence with bad constipation, and one had a badly broken toe. The cabin boys were all relatively healthy, but Mohawk gave them all the safe sex talk anyway, since it wouldn't be long before they started getting curious about the women, and he desperately hoped he could keep them from turning in to disease-ridden henchmen. Some of them were already partaking, but had been lucky enough to not catch anything.
It was well in to the afternoon when they got to the officers and commanders. The officers were all healthy, being that they'd been on the ship long enough to have regular checkups and knew well to follow Mohawk's advice. Yin had to stand on the examination table to check Wire's head, since he was just so damn tall.
She was surprised to find during Heat's examination that he actually had several hidden piercings that she could see through his clothes while she scanned him. She didn't ask why his dick was pierced, it didn't seem like an appropriate medical question. Kid wasn't happy about being examined, and complained the whole time that he was too busy for this shit. Mohawk gave him a long, stern talking to about drinking less beer and more water, if he didn't want a repeat of yesterday. She hadn't realised that the metal arm didn't have a real arm inside, she'd just assumed it was some sort of cover. She bit back a gasp when he removed it so Mohawk could check the stump of what used to be an arm. The base had metal embedded in to it, assumedly to help the prosthetic stick. She did her best to not gawk.
Last up was Killer, who they had to wait quite long for since he had been busy with some new recipe he had wanted to try that required being cooked slowly for many hours. He smelled of freshly cut herbs and bread when he entered, mixed with his usual scent of musk and spices. He locked the door as he entered, and Yin came to the jarring realisation that he was probably going to need to remove his mask. Mohawk went through his usual line of questioning before standing in front of Killer, he was too tall to examine from the stool. He did the same flexibility and grip strength tests he'd done for everyone else, and tapped his knees with a little hammer to check reaction times, before picking up his otoscope and turning to Yin expectantly.
“Right, sorry,” she said, turning and facing the wall. She heard something click and hair rustling as Killer removed his mask. “Hey um.. should I examine his head while the mask is off? I can't see his face if I'm scanning him, I promise”
“My head is fine,” Killer said flatly.
“I'm making notes of old injuries as well though, its important for my records,” Mohawk explained, “she's fast, it'll only take her a moment to check your head if nothing is wrong”
“Fine,” he sighed, “as long as she can't see”
“If my visor is dark green or red, I can't see you, just your insides,” she said, “to be honest I can only make out faces when its purple or like a neon green”
“Neon green is what you had when you killed the seaking right?” Killer asked, “is that some sort of night vision?”
“Yeah,” she explained, still awkwardly facing the wall, “and I can see pretty deep in the water as well, thats how I saw the seaking. I'm gonna turn around now, okay? I'll only be able to see your bones”
“Okay,” he replied. Mohawk finished checking Killer's eyes and stepped aside for her. She couldn't see well, but she'd spent all day in the room so she knew there was no furniture between them, and she could see their skeletons, the metal base of the examination bed, and Killer's mask sitting on the bed bedside him. She used what she could see as a guide to carefully make her way over, but she couldn't see the floor so her steps were awkward and she tripped.
“Woah, careful,” Mohawk said as he caught her, “what's wrong with you?”
“Can't see the floor,” she laughed, “I can only really see your bones and the metal things in the room, like Killer's mask and the base of the bed. Hard to walk without a floor”
She righted herself and stood carefully in front of Killer, who was definitely too tall. “You're too big, I'm gonna need to get on the table,” she climbed up on the side of him that didn't hold his mask, thankful that the base was metal and the mattress was thin so she could even see what she was doing. In her mind she was adding thickness to all the things she could see to account for what she couldn't.
“Ah- my hair-” Killer growled and pulled away, she'd unknowingly knelt on his long blond locks that had been resting against the bed.
“Fuck, sorry Kil,” she said, kneeling behind him, “I couldn't see it”
“It's fine, just get it over with,” he muttered, pulling his hair over his shoulder to the front so she couldn't catch it again.
“Is it okay if I touch you?” She asked as professionally as she could, “I need to turn your head”
“That's fine,” he replied.
She put her hands gently on either side of his head, carefully turning it and moving her hands around as she examined. It felt like he had thick bangs over his forehead, which definitely surprised her.
“Fuck you have a lot of old fractures for someone who wears a helmet,” she noted, “I can see… seven, Mohawk, if you want to note that down”
“Got it,” he replied, scribbling in his notes.
She turned Killer's face to look at her, her thumbs tracing his cheeks as she inspected them. She didn't even realise how intimate she was being, it was a natural process for her. His jawline seemed strong and his cheekbones looked prominent, if she had to guess she'd say he must have a sharp, attractive face. It looked symmetrical at the bone level, but who knows what kind of scars or deformities he might have on top that caused him to wear a mask.
“Old fracture on the left cheek as well,” she said, “I'd bet good money Kid did that”
“It'd be a winning bet,” he replied, suppressing a smile. Mohawk was busy with his notes, and she couldn't actually see his face, but he felt exposed anyway, and he didn't want anyone to see his ugly smile - the real reason he wore a mask.
“I'm gonna switch to red now okay?” She said, removing one of her hands from his face to fiddle with her mask. The visor turned red and her hand returned to his face, “Nothing of note on the front, eyes look healthy, frontal lobe looks fine,” she turned his head and made her way around, checking the side, then the back, then the other side. She paused, holding his head firmly in place. “Mohawk?”
“Mmm?” He looked up from his notes.
“There's something here, on the outside, towards the base of the neck,” she said, running her hand through Killer's hair and pulling it gently aside to clear the area she wanted Mohawk to check, “right here,” she pointed as she saw the bag of organs and veins that formed Mohawk stand beside the bed.
“It looks like a small cyst,” he said, prodding it with a gloved hand, “Killer I thought I told you to let me know if your mask did shit like this, it looks like it's about where the edge would rub”
“It's nothing,” he pulled Yin's hand out of his hair, entirely ignoring how nice her delicate hands felt woven through his locks, “I was just gonna deal with it myself”
Mohawk sighed and returned to his desk, “you're staying when she's done checking you over, so I can deal with that. It needs draining”
“I have shit to do,” Killer grumbled.
“Will you stop being a baby and let him do his job?” Yin scowled as she slid off the bed carefully, “now stand up so I can finish the scan, you can put your mask back on but I still have to check the rest of you”
He sighed and put his mask back in place before unwillingly standing, she tugged his arm to pull him further from the bed so she could walk all the way around him and quickly went about her scan, checking his bones first, then switching back to the red mode. She lifted his left arm as she checked his side.
“Your heart is beating a little fast Kil, you okay?” She noted.
“His heart rate was fine before,” Mohawk mused, quirking an eyebrow at Killer, who scowled under his mask at the clear insinuation.
“I'm just pissed off, now hurry the fuck up and quit touching me,” he growled.
“Anddd mister grumpymask is back,” she smiled, “relax, I'm done. He's all clear, doc, fit as a fiddle”
“Good, thats everyone then,” Mohawk said as he made a few last notes and stood to start collecting the supplies he needed for Killer's cyst, “you can go, Yin, thank you for your help. It won't always be this much work, I promise”
“Its fine,” she replied, unlocking the door to leave, “this was fun, I was happy to help. See you two at dinner,” she sung as she left. Mohawk gave her a weak goodbye, and Killer remained quiet.
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Dinner wasn't far off, in fact by the time Mohawk was done with Killer it was time to head to the dining hall. Everyone else was already there, and Killer quickly finished off the special recipe of slow cooked beef and beer stew that he'd been working on earlier, with several fresh loaves of sourdough he'd made earlier to go with it.
“Anything of importance to report from the annuals?” Kid asked Mohawk as he dipped his bread in the hearty stew.
“Just that your henchmen need to keep it in their pants if they can't learn to use a rubber,” Mohawk sighed.
“The usual then,” Kid laughed, “dirty cunts”
“Oi, Yin,” Wire interjected, “I've got a question for you”
“Hit me,” she replied with a smile, inhaling another mouthful of the delicious stew - Killer's cooking really was the best she'd ever had.
“How did you know anything about us or our reputation if you've been locked away for the last five years?” He asked in a serious tone. It felt like an integration, like he was about to crack open that everything she'd told them was a lie, “you knew who Heat and I were, you knew the Captain and Killer, you said you knew you'd fit in here. But you've been in a cell for the last five years, and we only got our first bounties a few years ago”
Eveyone else turned and stared at her, and Kid stopped eating entirely, mulling it over in his head and coming to the same realisation Wire had, that the dots didn't connect. “How did you know about us?” Kid was almost growling, it felt like a threat.
She sighed and put down her spoon, looking across the table at Killer's expressionless mask, like he could offer some sort of support. “You really want to know? You're not gonna like the answer”
“Answer the fucking question,” Kid said sternly, grinding his teeth.
“Okay, fuck, don't bite my fucking head off. I'd been with the commodore you found me with for most of my imprisonment, and I guess you could say he was a fan of yours,” she explained, careful to speak to Kid directly, so as not to incur any further wrath from him, “when you came on to the grandline he started getting a bit obsessed. Every time he came to… visit me… he would tell me about your crew, and the big promotion he was gonna get when he took you down. Which is ironic, in hindsight. Anyway at some point he started bringing in your bounty posters, the four of you, mostly Kid's, and he'd use them against me if I wasn't obediently letting him have his way with me. He'd say shit like ‘you're so lucky you have me here to protect you and make you feel so good’ and then he'd wave Kid's poster in my face and say ‘this cunt would rip your legs off just so he could fuck the bloody holes left behind, he'd rape you to death and then he'd keep going. His whole crew would rape your dead body till you were nothing but a pile of rotting bones’. Sometimes he'd leave the posters in the cell with me, to remind me of my place, so I got familiar with your faces. Of course I never believed that shit, it wasn't hard for me to see that the marines are the bad people in this world, I've seen pirates as the good guys for a long time now. The second Kid let me go the day you found me, I knew I was right and the commodore was full of shit. Not that I think there aren't pirates that rape, I just knew for sure that you guys didn't. Anyway, yeah. That's how.”
Kid was visibly angry, not at her but at the commodore, as he tore a huge chunk of bread from an untouched loaf and dipped it with a little too much force in to his stew, making liquid spill out around the edges of the bowl, “Fucker…” he said through a full mouth.
“I did say you wouldn't like it,” she grumbled, looking mournfully at her stew. She no longer had any appetite but forced herself to keep eating anyway. She didn't want to offend Killer by not finishing the food he'd made them.
“Sorry,” Wire said solemnly, “I shouldn't have pried”
“It's okay Wire,” she forced a smile for him, “I get it. I'm a stranger, you don't trust me, and things didn't add up. You were just protecting the crew. I hope you'll come to trust me, in time, like I'm trying my best to learn to trust all of you”
“Trust is hard earned,” Killer added plainly.
“You think I don't know that?” She almost yelled in clear annoyance. Heat spooked a little as she slammed a closed fist on the table, “You think its easy for me to be sitting here on a ship full of men when every man who has every touched me has raped me? You think I don't know how hard it is to learn to trust someone? Cut me some fucking slack, Killer”
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
“I'm not very hungry anymore,” she said, frustrated and angry. She felt like she was being treated like the enemy, and she'd done nothing to deserve it. She'd been working hard every day to earn their trust, and she felt brushed off. “Sorry, the food was delicious Killer, I'm just… not hungry anymore”
“Leave the bowl, I'll finish it,” Kid told her. He grabbed her hand before she left, “you'll have our trust, Killer's is just a little harder to earn. You're doing good work here, just give it time. I hope I can earn your trust as well, as your Captain”
“Thanks, Kid,” she sighed as he let her hand go. She didn't say anything more, and they watched as she quickly disappeared out of the galley and the doors swung shut behind her.
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[NEXT CHAPTER]
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Note
I like that everyone sees Afo in their own way. Someone thinks that he understood, family is what Afo always wanted and decided to leave the evil empire. Someone thinks that he knows little about feelings, but wanted to be loved, so this led to the creation of a family, but in the end he left her due to the fact that she prevented him from becoming the “demon king” as his love for his wife and son began to grow. Someone believes that an event simply happened in the Midoriya family because of which Afo left, perhaps he couldn’t stand the fact that All Might had taken over his life and when Izuku wanted to play heroes in the All Might costume, he accidentally got a slap in the face, so Hisashi left so as not to harm the family. I have already asked this question to others. I want to hear your version)😊
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AFO is the kind of character that will always have a huge range of interpretations to him. Just because of how dishonest he is in nature we can never truly know his feelings or true intentions. So we can only piece what his actions say and the few thoughts he has.
I note how you are mentioning a lot of DFO so I'm assuming you want my opinion on that too? Because as you know I'm a big fan so will be super happy to give you my interpretation on AFO especially in relation to that.
When it comes to AFO, I always imagined him with no empathy even as a child. This is NOT a born evil thing or anything as just having a lack of empathy doesn't mean you are automatically evil. As there are ways to teach people like that how to get along and have Logical empathy, basically a skill where you can logic out how said people can feel which he clearly learned later in life. But I digress. Basically because of his lack of empathy growing up in a survival of the most violent era would shape his personality. It honestly more a miracle that despite doing anything to survive he kept Yoichi around. Likely Yoichi agrees with this as in the end Yoichi was not benefitting AFO as he had to provide for two while Yoichi couldn't do anything.
Just this fact shows that AFO didn't really care that Yoichi didn't provide any actual benefits. This throws a point that he can be 'caring' to those he deems as company he enjoys. However his lack of empathy makes it so he always ignores Yoichi's input especially after struggling to survive for so long with never being cared for or loved. Without any idea of love or affection in his background, is it any surprise all he equated this illogical attachment too is just not wanting to lose his possession? His first gift? Especially as it been shown he is very envious of everyone having thing that he never had. Like a home, cars, and that includes a happy family. The last one he ends up losing after basically throwing his little brother in a vault for being unruly then seeing red when he leaves with the rebels. Accidentally killing his brother.
All this fact is important as we see he never process or got over losing his brother. Pursuing OFA just for his brothers vestige but likely after over a 100 years he got lonely. Desperate but he would never be honest or claim such a thing, but would allow a 'family' to occur to try and fill the void in his own heart.
I do not believe AFO would hurt his own son directly. Even in a rage after what happened to Yoichi, likely if he realized was becoming blinded by anger that would be a signal for him to leave. As likely he wouldn't be able to live with the idea of murdering his only family again because of rage. BUT making the excuse it because was holding them back.
However, I don't believe that's why he left. I legit imagined he kept up his double life for a long ass time almost shamelessly. Acting like a normal man using the fact he says he 'works over seas' as an excuse to not be around often. While still enjoying the benefits of a family whenever he does come by to visit, hell he was still kidnapping kids you see Tomura and Touya up till Izuku's birth.
And with his lack of empathy sees nothing wrong with a double life as long as he keeps the normal family happy and content. Then they would remain his family forever.
....Then during one of those visits All Might found him. It implied AFO was caught off guard which is what gave All Might the edge likely because AFO was trying to pretend to be a normal guy. But after getting caught was forced to fight and likely was trying to evacuate, only to get his head smashed in and technically killed.
Without his face there was no reasonable explanation he could give that would allow him to see his family. I imagine the quirks to 'change' appearance still required there to be a FACE to be changed. And that is what he's referring too when he claims AFO stole something precious from him. He stole his family away just like Kudou did, hence his hatred being quite strong.
Any interaction with the family likely is by email, mail and with checks just so they are alive. But he can't talk or interact with them at all in the state he is in. Still believing they are his but unable to interact with them like he used to with his face utterly destroyed. Hence his small pestering about being fixed likely was not actually meant in playful jest and something he hounded the doctor several times about.
He left his family not because he wanted too, because he NEVER gives up what he believes is his, but because he was forced too. Unless wished to get another Detroit smash to the face by showing he's alive or reveal to his family his actual job and get them running away like Yoichi.
So basically I see him as a man who lives a double life, an actual legit monster and yet also casually a normal man with said family. What would cause dissonance in others he saw no issue with since his family are his while other people are only useful or not. Until was suddenly crippled and could no longer have the joy of family he had craved, becoming more submerged in his hatred of All Might. Because while didn't care about such a tiny part of his empire falling.
His family is something he will destroy the earth and even the family itself if he must to keep them safe and at his side. And that's how I enjoy him to be in my interpretation.
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cousmemes · 9 months
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dialogue starters from DOCTOR WHO SEASON 8. feel free to edit for context / continues under the cut.
"I'll wager you've not seen anything like this before."
"Listen to me. You need to calm down."
"I'm not flirting, by the way."
"What have I done wrong?"
"Are you judging me?"
"Just because my pretty face has turned your head, do not assume that I am so easily distracted."
"Whatever it takes, I will keep you safe. You will be at home again."
"I'm cold. There's no point in us both being cold. Give me your coat."
"Are you cross with me?"
"You were talking about me?"
"What is happening right now to you and me is more important than your egomania."
"Nothing is more important than my egomania."
"You've redecorated. I don't like it."
"You can't see me, can you? You look at me, and you can't see me. Have you any idea what that's like?"
"I was being funny. I just do that."
"How long have you been there?"
"Are you going to look that terrified when you take me out for a drink?"
"You were smiling at nothing. I'd almost say you were in love."
"I need you."
"An anti-climax once in a while is good for my heart."
"We cannot waste this chance. It won't come again."
"Isn't the universe beautiful?"
"I think you're probably nice. Underneath it all, I think you're kind and you're definitely brave. I just wish you hadn't been a soldier."
"I don't know if you're a good man. But I think you try to be and I think that's probably the point."
"Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned storybooks."
"Do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?"
"Well then, draw your sword and prove your words."
"People are so much better at sharing information if they think the other person has already got it."
"Right, you do that again and you'll regret that."
"We can't just let them kill him!"
"She should not have told you any of that."
"Perhaps others will be heroes in our name. Perhaps we will both be stories. And may those stories never end."
"I wasn't making assumptions about you."
"You just have to squeeze through."
"How did you get in?"
"You know, you should have more than one chair. What do you do when people come round?"
"The deep and lovely dark. We'd never see the stars without it."
"I mouth off when I'm nervous and I've got a mouth on me. Seriously, it's got a mind of its own."
"Tell me the truth - because I know when people are lying to me."
"I am not going to leave you in danger!"
"Sorry, who put you in charge?"
"However this goes, whatever happens, don't let me end up like that."
"They have no power over you now. You can do exactly what you want to do now. Exactly what you've always wanted to do."
"Go and enjoy yourself. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"There's no way out of this. We're going to die here."
"Why are you being nice?"
"Every time I see you, it's like you're in a rush."
"The next few days are all about you. I promise."
"Human beings have incredibly short life spans. Frankly, you should all be in a permanent state of panic."
"How can you think that I'm her dad when we both look exactly the same age?"
"He's my boyfriend. I thought you'd figured this out."
"Why wouldn't I be okay? I was fine till you blundered in."
"It's funny, you only really know what someone thinks of you when you know what lies they've told you."
"Please, tell me how I fix this."
"I'm bored. Let's go somewhere fun. What do you say?"
"I know men like him. I've served under them. They push you and make you stronger, till you're doing things you never thought you could."
"Is there some sort of fancy dress thing on this evening?"
"I am so sorry. I've had a wobble. It's a big wobble, but it's fine. Forget about it."
"Where are you and are you in trouble?"
"Lying is a vital survival skill. And a terrible habit."
"Do you want the good news or the bad news?"
"We're in the bad news! I'm living the bad news!"
"Why can't you just say it? Why can't you just say I did good?"
"You are enjoying this just a little bit too much."
"Don't make me say it."
"I don't want to be the last of my kind."
"I don't want to see more things. I want to see the things in front of me more clearly."
"I just want to know the truth. I don't care what it is. I just want to know it."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up. I need to talk to you."
"Oh, everything is better when you're here."
"Please speak to me. This is - this is killing me.
"I love you. And you are the last person who's ever going to hear me say that."
"By now, I'm sure you've heard the rumours, and it is with great sadness that I must confirm them to be true."
"He was alive, and then he was dead and it was nothing."
"Don't. Be very, very careful with that."
"I know what you're doing. You're trying to take control."
"I am in control. Do as you are told."
"I was curious about how far you would go."
"You betrayed me. Betrayed my trust, you betrayed our friendship, you betrayed everything that I've ever stood for."
"Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?"
"Speak for me again, I'll detach something from you."
"This isn't possible. The dead don't come back."
"Be strong, even if it breaks your heart."
"Say something only you could say. Tell me something only you would know."
"Whatever it takes, I will be with you again, I swear."
"So you know who I am, right?"
"Look, are you going to help me? Because I can't do this alone."
"And didn't all of those beautiful speeches just disappear in the face of a tactical advantage?"
"I wasn't very good at it, but I did love you."
"There's something that I have to tell you and, er, it's not good news so just - just listen, okay?"
"Never trust a hug. It's just a way to hide your face."
"Thank you for making me feel special."
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cute-bag-of-bones · 1 year
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Can't trust a supe.
Part 1: "Uncle" Billy
Warnings ⚠️: Swearing, death, killing, body horror, gore. It's The Boys so all related warnings apply ✌🏻
      My life isn't a happy one, but it used to be. I used to have the best life a kid could ever want. Two loving parents that worked from home, a huge house full of people who cared about me on a bunch of land. Now I know people will say "but Simon your dad was a cult leader and your mom was a crazed geneticist." Which is all true but they loved me and that's all a parent really has to do in my opinion. My life was perfect till the day he ruined it all. Vaught's swinging big stick, Homelander. He attacked my family's compound and destroyed it all. Only bodies and rubble were left when he was done. I only survived because one or my Father's followers shielded me from the falling debris. That was 7 years ago and now I'm a 17 year old living in and out of shelters. I can't even use my real name because of the slander Vaught slung to justify homelanders borderline war crimes. I swore if I ever saw his lipless face again I'd kill him. I just needed to figure out how first.
    
      I wasn't sure if I could trust this British guy who called himself Billy Butcher. He kept showing up and trying to talk to me. Finally he asked if I wanted to get even with Homelander. How could I refuse? He asked to meet during the day at the park. He kinda sketched me out. The long coat and sunglasses he gave me school shooter all grown up vibes but if he actually had a way to kill Homelander I was more then willing to look past his unfortunate fashion choices. 
      So here I sat at the park waiting for this limey bastard. Sure enough he strolled up and sat down next to me on the bench. He leaned back and looked over the whole park. I turned to look at him and asked him what he needed me to do but before any words could leave my mouth he stopped me.
      "That the fucks the matter with you? Face forward, don't look at me." He said as he chewed on some gum. I look forward and lean against the arm rest. Trying to look as nonchalant as possible. 
      "You are the one who wanted to meet in public." I say taking a quick glance at him.
      "Yeah I did because you're a damn supe." He said it with such malice. I froze for a second. If I was smart I would have walked away and never looked back but I have never been known for my brains. 
      "How did you-"
      "I have my ways. I know who mommy and daddy are as well. I know everything there is to know about you right down to what's in your bag." He said as he shifted in his seat a little. I leaned down and pulled my bag into my lap to hold close.
      "You going to blackmail me or something?" I ask looking over at him no longer caring to play alone with whatever game he had. 
      "No nothing like that, I want to give you an opportunity. We have a common problem. I have this time coming together and we need someone with your particular set of skills." He said as he finally turned his head to look at me. His sunglasses made it impossible to see anything other than my own reflection. 
      "You really think our problem can be fixed? You got that kind of juice on your team?" 
       "Gotta try right? We are getting there. If you don't want to help then fine. I guess you don't want these." He said as he pulled a manila envelope from the inside of his jacket. He smirked down at me. 
      "And what's in that?"
      "The only file Vaught had on your dearly departed mom. She wrote it herself. Could be something interesting in there. Maybe something that could make sense of it all." He tapped his gloved fingers against the envelope then slipped it back on his jacket.
     "What would I have to do?"
     "Come with me and meet the team. I can't talk about it out here. Never know who's listening." He said as he pointed to the sky before standing up. I should be more careful about strangers. He could be a lot of very dangerous things. 
       He walked us to a ran down looking building. He walked down some steps and banged on the door. 
      "Oi cunts let me in!" He shouted. Soon the door unlatched and opened. We walked into this sad gray concrete room. A tall skinny man leaned against the sink with his arms crossed. He looked scared shitless. Like he could vomit at any second. He looked completely harmless. The second man was shorter with a shaved head. He looked much less harmless. 
       "I thought you were getting someone who can help!" He had a thick French accent when he spoke. 
      "She can. She's a supe don't you worry Frenchie." Billy said as he walked past the man. Frenchie how original. He looked at me with almost pleading eyes. Now that I really look at him he seems just as harmless as the pipe cleaner leaning on the sink. 
      "I don't even know what the problem is." Billy walks over to another door and unlocks it. He swings it open and there is an empty cage. My eyes widen as I look at the men in the room. Billy looks in the cage.
      "Shit no no wait a second. The bugger is invisible." He grabs a cattle prod and jabs it onto the cage. I hear a man scream. The man in the cage uncloaks himself. It was translucent from the 7 butt naked and sitting criss-cross applesauce on the bottom of the cage.
     "What the fuck thats almost worse than what I thought you wanted! Whatever it is I'm out hell no!" Billy quickly steps out of the room and shuts the door. 
      "You're the only one who can do it. His skin is like fucking Dimonds! But I was thinking maybe the inside isn't." Billy yelled over my protesting. 
       "What is she super strong or something?" The thin man asked. 
       "No!" Billy and I shout at once at him. 
        "Fine I guess you rather the news have these." Billy says as he opens his coat to show the file. 
        "I thought you weren't going to blackmail me fuck! Fucking dick!" I shout as I stomp my foot. Billy smirks as he nods like a lunatic. Frenchie and the thin man look back and forth at each other confused. I guess Billy had not informed his team about anything of his little plan. 
      "You can do it. The  file says you can anyway." Billy says the same smirk painted on his stupid face. 
       "If he finds out-"
       "If cuntlander finds out you'll get your chance to kill him. Or wait till he comes for you after he finds out who your mom was." 
        "Fuck!" I felt completely cornered. I couldn't kill someone who had never done anything to me. no matter how much of a douchebag they seemed like.
       "Wait, who's her mom?" The man asked.
     "Homelander's old cock warmer" Billy says with a knowing look. 
      "Stop it!"
      "Oh yeah moms got around alright. She was two-timing New York's favorite supe with New York's most notorious serial bombing cult leader. A bit of a whore if you ask me." I wanted to leap across the room and strangle that dumb British asshole but I knew my strengths were not in a physical fight.
       "You're Alphonse Bishop's daughter!?" The thin man said with a look of shock. Billy let out a hardy laugh. I had had enough of this. 
      "That's it! Give me the file or I'll just kill you!" I screamed at Billy. 
      Frenchie's attention turned to a laptop. 
      "Oh look at the big bollocks on this one! Yeah go on kill me might as well because if you don't get in there and kill that cunt we are all dead!" 
      "Butcher we have a problem." Frenchie said. Billy and the other man huddled around the laptop. 
      "Is that-"
      "He's searching for something." 
I come over and stand on my tippy toes to see over the men. It was Homelander he was surveying the area likely looking for his fellow 7 member. It was chaos for a moment. They scrambled around trying to figure out what happened. They talked about a chip of some kind. I was too busy staring at the screen as Homelander flew around. 
      "You two stay here." Billy said as he and frenchie ran up the steps. They were out the door before I could stop to ask for an explanation. 
      "I'm Hughie Campbell by the way, it's good to meet you." The man said, looking over at me as he stuck his hands in his pockets. It took everything in me not to break his jaw right then and there. This wasn't his fault I shouldn't be mad at him. 
      "You should get out of here." I say as I sit down on a stool.
       "Butcher told us to stay." 
       "Yeah if he told you to lick his balls would you? He's gonna get you killed. Let him and the Frenchman sort it out." I say as I motion to the door with my head. He puts on a stiff upper lip and shakes his head. 
         "No noway, I got to do this. He needs all the help he can get, but if you want to go I won't stop you. I'll tell Butcher you overpowered me." He says with a little laugh. Oh if he only knew. He didn't seem like Billy was blackmailing him. What on earth would make someone want to help that maniac. 
         "Nah I'm as good as dead the second I see Homelander face to face anyway. I'm going to rip him apart." I say as I stare at the looping footage of him zipping around. Hughie gives me a strange look. 
      "How are you-" he was interrupted by the other door being opened. Translucent somehow had gotten out of his cage. The 3 of us just stared at each other for a second before finally he spoke. 
       "You kids are gonna let me walk out of here." He says as he starts to walk to the exterior door. Hughie to my surprise steps in front of his path. 
        "No, I'm sorry we can't let you. just go back in the room please." He begged. Translucent laughed a little. He looked over at the laptop and saw Homelander was near. 
        "Yeah I think I'm just going to go outside." He said pushing past a defeated looking Hughie. I could tell Billy would tear this kid a new one if he just let translucent walk out. I got up and quickly put myself between him and the door just as Hughie did. He looked down at me for a second before rolling his eyes and giving me a strong push to the side. I bumped into the table with my hip.
       "You going to push a kid?" Hughie shouted as he grabbed translucent from behind and tried to pull him down to the ground. Translucent went invisible and started to beat the snot out of Hughie. His skin may be invisible but his insides were not. I looked inside of him. Like most supes he was stronger than average but I was sure I could still do something. I saw his skeletal system wrapped in muscle and nerves move as he continued his assault. I tighten his muscles in his right arm making it go stiff. He started to scream which normally wouldn't be a problem but Homelander might hear so I tightened his vocal cords. Now only small mouse-like squeaks escaped his lips. Hughie wiggled himself out from under the invisible man and pushed himself up against a wall. I couldn't see Translucence face but the muscles were constricted in his face. Even without the skin I could make out the expression of fear. I had to be quick about whatever I was going to do to him. 
       I couldn't hold such a targeted effort for too long. He tried to get to his feet so I tightened his joints connected to his knees. I struggled to hold him
 He was fighting against me. I felt a popping sensation and without warning he was ripped apart in all directions. Invisible bloody pieces are sent all over Hughie and I. He looked over at me almost more scared then before. 
      "Was that…" his question slowly trailed to silence as I nodded at him quickly. He slipped on the blood covered floor for a second as he got to his feet.
        Billy and Frenchie came running in. They started to speak but stopped as they realized what was covering us and the walls. 
        "What'd uncle Billy tell ya! Easy peasy. " He says as he hooks his elbow around my neck to pull me closer to his side. Frenchie almost trips over a particularly invisible pile of human. 
         The clean up was somehow more grizzly than the murder itself. Hughie was sent home to shower and try to forget what he saw. It was mostly picked up and Frenchie left to go talk to some girl. So Billy and I were left.
       "My mom wasn't two-timing Homelander. Her and dad had an open relationship and Homelander knew that." I say looking down at Billy who was on his knees searching for the last bits of translucent. 
        "Is that so?" 
        "Yeah and if you ever call my mom a whore again or say she was Homelander's cock warmer I'll pull your tongue out through your asshole." He let out a chuckle as he got up. He got out the file and held it out to me. 
     "I wrote the number of my business cell down on it if you change your mind about helping out. Either way, with or without you, I can promise Homelander is going to die." I grabbed the file but Billy didn't let go. "Stay out of trouble, if you don't you'll be seeing me again and I won't be there to ask for your help." His tone was dark. I could tell it was a genuine warning. I pulled it from his hand and walked out. 
       I wasn't even sure what was in this file but whatever It was, was worth it. It had to be. I killed a man for it after all.
Part 2 will probably be out tomorrow if not then definitely the day after. Thanks for reading! 💖
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ctommy-chileno · 2 years
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Here's a list of some ongoing fanfictions I've been following if you want some literature
(Ongoing as in. Updated in the past month or this month)
Butterfly Reign: You know this one, it's the angst full and oddly yellow one. I always end up finding out it updated a day before it released how does that keep happening?. It's a good read, the characters get deeper the more you read it, and yet even with all their hidden lore and ok ish intentions I still want them to suffer because I'm a spiteful bitch. Unreliable narrator to you I believe him.
In the name of the fucking moon: Its a magical girls AU with the benchers and the family, more on the old school monster of the week type of magical girls but with continuity. If you imagine the scenes in your head while reading please add an 80's anime filter over it. Fun to read 👍 I got halfway through and I'm waiting for it to finish so I can binge it.
Guided evolution: Only read this if you have a lot of free time or the time management skills of a lawyer because this here is 300.000+ words and incredibly good. Every chapter I do nothing but worry for my spider son. Hasn't he been through enough I ask, while seeing I'm on chapter 52 out of 75. I know the answer, and it only serves to hurt me.
How to be the biggest trainer ever: Crimeboys go in a pokemon adventure. A very friendly fun read, like the pokemon anime but with your favourite white boys having fun 👍the world is set on gen 1 I think, so use that soundtrack
The stars and their children: Ive only read till chapter 5 and that's enough to know its good (also the fact that I follow the author here on tumblr so I get spoiled every once in a while hehe) This one is more sandduo focused and it has cool sci fi monarchy and it's also very near to end?? I didn't know that. Guess I'll get up to date then. Star tommy did nothing wrong I haven't seen him do much of anything but if he does in the other 19 chapters be aware he did nothing wrong
By the morrow: this one is weird and interesting in the most enticing way possible. What the fuck is going on. I must know all the reasons behind what is happening here. It can be quite macabre so be aware. I only found this one because the author posted the updates to tumblr. Oh yeah the synopsis, superhero au where the ctommy is a nobody who dies and fucks around the town in his ghost form but shit hits the fan incredibly quickly.
Who the ever loving fuck made me a prince: Its an Isekai yipee, our main boy (el ctommy) reads a book where a kid prince dies. L. Then he wakes up as that same kid!!! Oh no!!! Good news is he's reincarnated right in baby zone so he has plenty of time and skill to make sure won't die 👍, its fun, if you like isekais and don't mind some anime trope baby ism then you will live another day
Proof that life hates tommyinnit personally: This is a mystery!!! Spooky!! With touches of angst, perhaps more than some touches but hey the thrill!! The search!! I enjoy the use of the "it's not paranoia if they're really put to get you" tag. Its one of those fics that if it ever gets dropped I would go to the authors house to ask how was it supposed to end. I need. To know. Oh yeah summary: el ctommy is homeless and has many friends in a local mall who don't know that. This is only one (1) of his problems as he's recently gained a stalker, and everything points to being someone he knows ?? Question mark?? Fun.
TommyInnit's Declassified Vigilante Survival Guide: Ah a good old vigilante fic, just like mama used to make. it checks all the marks: benchtrio living together, villain sbi, when the family is founded, heroes yet bad?? and introducing a cool new power to the boy, what a joy! It is funny and it is cool
Our love it's like a burning sun: you've heard of racconinnit, birdinnit, ratinnit, cat shifter innit, possumi- hm I haven't heard that actually, anyways get ready for Red Panda innit, here's a red panda shifter who runs away from mean kingdom and goes to nice kingdom where he can find some family. And sometimes that's all you need to face the horrors
Thunder on my bones: ANOTHER superhero au listen man this one is good trust me. We have superhero boy being sidekick to mean superhero then gets moved to nice family of superheroes and the family is found :)) but also there's villains that want to fuck him up , uh oh! How will they found the family in this conditions! I also really like the design of the tommy superhero outfit, it has a really nice detail that I love imagining in my head ^^
There are more but these are long and easy to get into
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toujokaname · 4 months
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Matrix / Monologue
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Author: Akira
Characters: AkanP, Rinne, Niki
"And maybe, you would cry for that someone."
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[ Read on my site for a better viewing experience using Ois~su ♪ ]
Season: Past / Winter
Location: Back Alley Downtown
Flashback. At the end of a certain year, in a quiet corner of a town on a desolate New Year's Eve.
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AkanP: I just can't take it anymoreeeee!
I'm gonna quiiit! This job's unbearableeeee!
—Uuu, uurrpp!
Bweeeghhh!
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Rinne: Hey, you alright...? Haven't you drank too much, Akan-san?
AkanP: How can I not drink?! I mean, how can I survive in this painful world without drinking, Rinne-kun?! Do you even understand?!
Rinne: Such a drag... You're showing the worst side of Japanese people. Don't get so wasted you lose your identity.
The whole world makes fun of that kinda thing~ That drunkard's attitude's just plain awful, you know?
AkanP: I don't know anything about the world! I've been a Japanese person from birth till death, me!
I've really had enough! It's the worst! This shitty, worthless village society! Bound hand and foot by stupid customs and rules, this is a village of backwardness! [1]
Ahahahaha! You sure have it nice, don't you, Rinne-kun? You were raised in paradise without such a shitty culture, huh?
Rinne: The culture and the region may be different, but it's about the same everywhere.
They're all villages of backwardness. You and me and everyone else, we're all living in backwardness.
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Rinne: There's no utopia anywhere.
I've come to learn that. Even I have.
AkanP: I'm sorry—
I'm sooorry, Rinne-kun! I couldn't produce you well enough!
You have talent! You had skill, you worked hard!
And yet, luck was against you! The times were against you! I'm sorry, for being your producer...!
If only I had more influence! If I had the ability, I wouldn't have let you be buried away like this!
You were a diamond in the rough! You could've shined even brighter!
Rinne: It's not your fault, Akan-san.
I just made a gamble and lost.
Right now, the idol industry isn't prosperous enough for everyone involved to reach a happy ending.
When someone wins, someone else loses, and they end up getting pushed into these filthy back alleys.
Even if you excelled and let me shine to the fullest, someone else would always get the short end of the stick.
And maybe, you would cry for that someone.
Because you're a kind person, Akan-san.
AkanP: I'm sorry! I'm so sorryyy, Rinne-kun!
I'm just no good! It's exactly like my old nickname! I'm useless, that's why I'm Akan-san!
I can't have idols worrying about me! It's the opposite, the opposite! Get a grip already!
I'm sorry, Rinne-kun! I'll do my best starting tomorrow! I'll work my ass off in this shitty industry at this shitty job with everything I have!
So just for today... Just for today—
.........
Rinne: ...Akan-san?
Geez, passing out drunk on the streets. Are you okay as a functioning member of society?
Seriously, don't make idols worry about you—"no good, hopeless Producer-san"?
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Niki: Onii-sa~an?
I came to pick you up like you told me on the phone~? It was the first time I took a taxi, so exciting~♪
Wait, you smell like alcohol?! Were you of legal age to drink, Onii-san?
Rinne: I haven't had a drop... Just got stuck getting hassled by my drunken business partner.
Niki: ? Who is that person? Someone you know, Onii-san?
Rinne: Yeah. My producer, who's always taking care of me.
Niki: What's a "producer"? I don't really know much about Rinne-onii-san's job, so I don't get it!
What do producers do? Cooking?
Rinne: If it was cooking, they'd be called "cooks." This person is—well, what is a producer anyway? Truth is, I can't really put it into words either?
Someone who prays for our happiness, maybe?
Niki: Hmmm? If producers have a job out of praying, are they like priests?
Rinne: Well, not just praying, but also doing more practical things.
To be blunt, that's just how they are. Despite having no relation, despite being strangers, and despite not being loved by anyone...
A producer is someone who tries to make me and everyone who sees me smile.
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Rinne: That's why, someday, I want to make this person smile, too.
I will repay you for all you've done for me, Akan-san.
That's the code I live by, having grown up in a village of backwardness ♪
[ ☆ ]
The term used from here on out (因習村) refers to a "traditional" village, in a stereotypical, negative sense. As will be shown later, it is also associated with horror media featuring "ominous, overly traditional (typically rural) villages" as settings, such as Higurashi's Hinamizawa. Depending on the context, I've translated it as a "village of backwardness" or a "backward village", given that the focus lies in their customs being "too outdated".
Also of note is that, as is typical in these flashback episodes, Rinne uses "ore" instead of his present-day "orecchi." He also uses "san" in hiragana rather than the katakana "san" he uses now to refer to AkanP.
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lumidark166 · 1 year
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New Kid (Rewrite) Headcanons cause why not lol
This is my new kid in TSOT
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IN TFBW, this is my new kid look and his character sheet Credit to @lolliepops-rox for this edit, thank you so much!!
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This gonna be full-on rambling I'm sorry Eka's full name is Eka Widjaya Pratama but he always uses a short version cause the full one makes him look plain Indonesian lol
Eka in tsot, he somewhat freaks out because the town is crazy and weird, but he feels comfortable that now he finally made friends after so long his family moved town to town so much that he hasn't made friends He has selective mutism, which causes anxiety but after that, he feels more comfortable saying a few words to speak, but when he suddenly can't speak, he usually texts or uses cards to speak cause the kids and the adults probably can't understand what he said in sign language and Cartman will make fun of him.
speaking of Cartman, Eka never anyone his real name cause of Cartman, he is not afraid of Cartman, he just doesn't want his anxiety to make it more troublesome if Cartman spread that his name is shit like gossip and his progress to speak more will reduce to square one again His vocabulary is just 'dude' cause how much he spends time with Kyle and Stan Eka just doesn't care, everyone, calls him douchebag, buttlord, etc, he just thinks it's funny cause he likes to make fun of himself and make smelly farts all of the time lmao-
He is like when tfbw gives him time farts "Fart now can time bend shit, fuck yeah THIS IS MY MC ERA" like he doesn't think tsot also in his mc era
Creek couple for some reason 'adopted' new kid beside Stripe, Eka is confused about wtf is going on until Tweek spoiled him so much lmao Eka is like "My real parents are shit so Tweek and Craig is my parents now" that didn't age well in tfbw for a while tho-
Being a hero with an assassin class, he uses SHARP ace of spades cards instead of knives cause he was inspired by a cartoon show of spies/ agents that used cards lol
when the start of tfbw, Eka is kinda bored and curious wtf is this game they are playing that is so important that they ditch Eka and the other kids. then when Cartman asked what are your class, Eka immediately takes his notebook, and make one page of the class he wants and skill he wants also describing the weakness so cartman can't do his class type picker thing cause Eka knew Cartman gonna make fun of him. why one page? cause Eka knew if he was too invested he gonna make it 10 pages instead lmao
Eka doesn't care about the timeline of the movies when the two franchises hate their methods so much that they split up but He ONLY cares about the angst, after they got together as one franchise, Dr.Timothy asks origin story of Ace of Spades aka New Kid Hero Name, then he wrote in google doc of 40k draft origin story and send it to the freedom pals gc chat and he texted
Butthole: So if there want changes somethings let me know *Thump_up* I don't think they see Eka the same way after he wrote that shit in 15 minutes, 40k in 15 minutes lmao also, they cried hard cause its so much angst, they never gonna survive because Eka is an angst enthusiast ofc he gonna make it unnecessarily sad for no reason (edited) The freedom pals meet and discussing it about the franchise timeline, till making it a yelling battle
"What if there is angst on the table guys, angst bring entertainment you know" Eka only speak only in that meeting and never said anything again in other meetings
Freedom Pals stare at him confused while the former coon and friends are terrified Even Super Craig was like "Oh my god, I forgot about Butthole origin story- Fuck, guys… never make New Kid the main writer if there gonna be casting" Mosquito even start crying, yeah Eka traumatized them for dear life lmao
The new kid wrote his superhero persona as a self-destructive, self-sacrifice hero, he even tried to suggest that he want to lose his arm when the situation of one of Eka's parents need to sacrifice for Mephesto thing but luckily, Craig talks it out to him into not doing that, Eka is silly but idiot bitch
Eka play Stick of Truth and superhero game as the distraction of his home but because Cartman and others play superhero now, he instantly joins so he can peacefully forget about his parents being shit Reactions to them about NK skill, spin slash
"What is that... cards?, pfft that not gonna hurt me-" Then New Kid threw a few cards at Tupperware and the cards almost got into Tupperware's head, it goes through the helmet
"Okay, who dare it's okay the New Kid play with sharp things.." A very concerned and angry Wonder Tweek being a mom "Shut up, New Kid doesn't need to be babied" (Super Craig) 'Why are you my emotional dad figure again…' Eka is disappointed lmao
Eka is also a style shipper but he is kinda tired of them talking about the bigger franchise but then again he doesn't care about franchises so- He was like " YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID, YOU GUYS CAN BE STILL FRIENDS FFS, CAN YOU GUYS LEAVE COON" But because of his mutism, he can't say shit
Eka is sick of Coon and his bs and also wants to unalive him for a couple of reasons but he realized that not worth the hassle cause he knows it's gonna bite him in the ass if Cartman revenge on the new kid
in the finale of mitch conner's fight, Eka made his arm almost broken cause he is sick of Coon bs he just said "You know what, you already traumatized me killing my own father, so I am gonna give you a taste of REAL pain" which is he is not holding back and almost break Cartman left hand
Eka's best friends are Kenny and Butters, blonde boys and also Butters's protection squad Remember a photo in butters parents' room? Eka blackmailed Stephen to use that photo, to put it on Coonstagram so Butters don't ground for a long time About Kenny and Eka hc, they are inseparable until a superhero game made them distant In fact in civil war fight, Mysterion mostly target Eka for no reason "You join the wrong side, New Kid" "THEN WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME, YOU UNDERWEAR HERO ASSHOLE bangsat anjing nih anak" translation: son of a bitch
he whispered cussing in Indonesian in the last ones cause he was that angry- "Dude, I think he pissed.." Toolshed noticed when Eka is angry is not a good thing "I guess our intel that New Kid willingly join Coon and Friends is fake" D.Timothy usual telepathy thing
also the twist here, Eka becomes a quadruple agent, instead of spying for coon and friends he was like "Nope, I wanna know wtf is cartman going with this shit and I am not gonna get blamed for his shit"
after the couple's counseling, Eka get beaten and the couple just looks at Eka, "You know what, let's do this together.. for Butthole" After that they eat at McDonald's cause Tweek spoils Eka like a child lmao
after civil war 2, freedom pals found a notebook belonging to Eka but it's nothing special.
cause it's a drawing vent book that he draws mostly circles and notes from school and a weird list of items which is 100 glue, 20 tortillas and etc it's for crafting but he didn't write the context what is it for so they are so confused about what it meant "Look is New Kid okay? the book on the back of the cover it's said it's a vent book, but why the hell are there so many circles and this weird list??.." Toolshed concerned "As much I hate New Kid mentally ill and need therapy jokes (affectionate).. he needs therapy" (Tupperware)
One day, Eka found his confidence and tell his real name cause new kid doesn't feel like gonna be a long thing and probs confused with other new kid/exchange students so crack hc : Eka write fanfic of their superhero persona, especially Bunny but its enemies to lovers mysterion and Chaos cause in canon, chaos has WALL of mysterion pics Eka see that in tsot was like "… fruity"
Eka also does cover songs but in vtuber style where the cover/mv has lore animation so it gives a hint to his origin story he realizes singing makes him forget his anxiety, so he gives a message with his singing instead
Oh yeah also, Eka is kinda Kyle 2.0 but more emotional like Stan, he is just Kyle 2.0 cause he second person to fight Cartman constantly lol, At the start of the fight usually Eka gives him a really BAD fart lol
"Wha hey, Douchebag what that for?!" Cartman is angry at the Eka, apparently, he talks shit about his country's people being overproud Eka just stare at him blankly but he put a card that quote "Come at me, bitchboy" Ofc Eka won that easily, he kick him in the stomach hard that he vomit. Probably shouldn't watch too much Kamen Rider cause Rider Kicks lmao-
"Mampus lu" then he just walked away
"I don't know what that means but I am prouuud of our kid" (Craig) "It's mean 'deserved' but that doesn't mean New kid is your child, Craig" (Wendy)
Eka uses this to communicate sometimes when his phone is dead or doesn't have a notebook on him
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Eka usual wear in TFBW
And that it lol, this is long post lmao
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simon-newman · 2 months
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Spirit Ashes
So. Getting into Elden Ring now I do look for content around the Internet.
What did get my attention is a lot of hatred for Spirit Ashes mechanic which is apparently new thing for Fromsoftware games.
To put is simply - Spirit Ashes are a summoning mechanic where you can call upon a specific AI controlled Spirit to be your ally in the fight.
Some Soulslike veterans insist that this is Fromsoft's method of giving casual players an "easy mode" in an otherwise difficult (or not*) game.
* - The other thing is that there isn't even a consensus if the game is easy or not - some claim it's unbalanced and Fromsoft jumped the shark/used cheap gimmicks to up the difficulty while others claim it's the easiest one and made for casuals even without Spirit Ashes.
Anyway.
Yeah - I have been using Spirit Ashes since I got a set of 3 puppies from Ranni. Then I switched to some stronger ones like Jellyfish and finally Banished Knight Oleg. Are they helpful? Well. Yes? They do provide another target for the boss to focus on. They also deal some damage on their own.
Are they an "easy mode"? Are they breaking the game? Do they win on their own?
Short answer. No - they are not.
First I need to make a disclaimer. The summons can't be used everywhere - only in specific locations. Additionally they can't be re-summoned. They can be upgraded up to +10 but nothing above that - meaning they'll continue to lose in value as the monsters get stronger. Especially when I tackle the NG+ which scales the enemies up 7 times up to NG7+.
Now as to how useful are they playing the game for the first time?
It depends on the boss really.
Beastman of Farum Azula in Limgrave? Yeah - the wolves helped me tear him apart.
I've tackled the Tree Sentinel at lvl 17 and they didn't survive long enough to get his hp down by 1/3.
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Pictured above - both me and the wolves are dead already.
Margit? The wolves were lucky if 1 survived till phase 2 (50% hp). Calling them in phase 2 alone was useless as they'd get annihilated with about 2 hammer strikes.
I will say that I did feel kinda bad for some bosses once I switched to Oleg.
Admittedly - this guy is a lot tankier and deadlier than the pups and did save my skin several times.
But he's not an almighty "I win button".
Magma Wyrm just melted him in it's AoE. Same with double gargoyle fight. Even at +7 in a lot of fights he's only enough of a distraction to get in a few initial attacks.
In my ~10 attempts he has NEVER survived long enough to take down one of the gargoyles and I had to fight 2 vs 1 in every single iteration of that fight.
Even without AoE this is often the case against bosses that are an actual challenge.
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This is way after Oleg got annihilated by the Crucible Knights. Mostly in 1v1 fight. He wouldn't last long enough for me to get one of them to 50%.
This means that I had to do 75% of the fight solo anyway.
And there are worse examples.
Astel the Naturalborn of the Void? Oleg was pretty much useless and would die almost instantly due to AoE gravity attacks that he also helped trigger more often.
Falligstar beast is outright easier to deal with if it focuses it's attacks on you because most of them is blockable and can be punished.
His contribution against Lansseax was next to none.
Malenia is known for healing from hitting enemies - meaning the summon whose AI is just going to tank blows might end up doing more harm than good.
And that's not mentioning bosses that you can't even use summons against.
In general if a summon is strong enough to make a major contribution to the fight the boss is usually weak enough to die in around 10 hits from me alone anyway.
Ultimately Spirit Ashes are just a mechanic to be used as you see fit. There are people who play without armor or even without leveling. It's their choice and a testament to their skills.
I am just wondering how many soulslike elitists who keep saying that "Spirit Ashes are for unskilled casuals" themselves followed precise meta build guides from the Internet to make sure their Tarnished is the most optimized boss killing machine possible so that they wouldn't struggle.
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spookylightwhispers · 8 months
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Today I had a class on career in which we talk about career planning and the like. The topic for today was about our work view, and life view. Every group had to come up with a tagline to represent our work and life views. And unsurprisingly, it was all about money, money, money.
Every group was just talking about how we work to earn money, and with money we'll be happy in life. And everyone was just laughing and joking about it but I just sat there thinking, "what a depressing bunch of people you all are."
And while we were supposed to discuss as a group, one, and then two people, said "work to earn money" because "why work if there's no money" and suddenly I felt weird because what I had wrote on my copy was "contributing meaningfully to society while doing something that I enjoy or am passionate about." Believe it or not, the thought of money hadn't even occurred to me and suddenly I was just like "oh. right, money." (I felt a little more sane after another guy in my group steered our tagline towards something more humanistic and not money-based. And we turned out to be the only group in the class whose tagline didn't have the word "money".)
And, just, is this what society has come to? Is life really just all about working, and working, and earning money till you drop dead? Is there no meaning to anything anymore? And it's not just about working. Even studying. In the previous lesson, people were just like "get a degree so I can get a job". But I'm not here to get a degree so I can get a job. I'm not here to "get an education". I'm here to gain knowledge. To take part in the inter-generational transfer of knowledge. I'm not here so that at the end of the day, I get to earn money. I'm here because I want to learn things. I want to marvel at the world. I want to be more appreciative of human society. I want to contribute. I want to make the world a better place. I'm not here to get a certificate so I can get a job and work until I die.
I know I can't, and I won't deny that money is a very important factor in living life. And for some people, money can buy happiness. And I acknowledge that I come from a very privileged background. I've never had to worry about money and I've always lived a comfortable life. Even when my parents were supposedly "broke", we didn't have all the extras but we never lacked anything either. My life has been very smooth-sailing.
But is there nothing more to life than just earning money? I mean, I'll be honest, I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'm immune to the whole money predicament either. Lately I've been really interested in research and I've really been considering the idea of furthering my studies and becoming a researcher. But at the back of my head, I have this nagging thought of how am I going to get money to survive? Is that going to give me a stable income? Who's going to be funding this research? Especially if I were to do it for a PhD thesis? Who's going to pay for all that? How am I going to live? Should I just follow the conventional pathway and get a proper job that's going to bring in a stable income?
Money is important to live, and this may be true for pretty much every place on earth but in this part of the world especially, the culture just feels extra crazy. Especially with the mindset that is very prevalent among the majority race. In fact just earlier in the day, I had another class and in trying to come up with a topic for research I shared with my professor a possible topic my group was considering doing. And it revolved around education. About how our universities have very limited choices in terms of courses and how it seems like the only kinds of courses you get here are the ones that "bring in money" and other kinds of courses which would get you not-very-profitable jobs are practically non-existent in this country. (Even if those particular set of skills are very much needed in this country! To meet the government's own goals! (and they might probably then use this as an excuse to import in more foreign workers because we don't have enough 'skilled local talents'?)). And the only way to get qualifications in those specific fields is to go overseas...which obviously costs even more money, something not everyone can afford.
I did not mention it to my group and my professor earlier, but even for me, personally, while I did apply to three different universities, when I applied to my current university now, I only applied for one course, which is the course I am in now. And this is despite the fact that my university is one of the two biggest ones, and thus one of the two which offers the most courses. I felt kinda badass, not gonna lie, about "confidently" (I wasn't really confident about getting in to be honest) applying to only one course in this university but honestly, it's not really something to gloat about. It's a sad predicament, that none of the courses the university offered interested me...except one. Everything else I could possibly be interested in is not even offered at a university level in this country. Sad, sad, sad.
People are unable to pursue their interests, and do what they are good at, simply because the government thinks these things are not worth investing in, because they're "not profitable". It is true, the government runs this country like a business, not a country. At the end of the day, it's all about money. And this mentality seeps through to the people. (Or, I guess, you could argue that the very people with this mentality are the ones who control the government, and have thus forced everyone else to live that way). It's no wonder people here have no life. All we ever think about is ace-ing the academics to get a good job to earn good money.
What is your purpose in life?
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ultimateplaylistmaker · 9 months
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(tw implied SA/abuse)
AAAAA, I didn't expect you to reply so soon. The list of detail that could support this are:
-sleeping fully clothed when sick(could be him unwilling to be fully vulnerable)
-people pleasing(small, but you could tie it into it being a fawn coping mechanism)
-wetting the bed till 5th grade(has been shown to be a small sign of past abuse)
-his motive video person being specifically komaru and not including his parents
-his ability to lie when prepared (ch5 when protecting kyoko)
-his willingness to forgive people that wronged him(it's common for child victims to be made to forgive their adult abusers)
-the fact that he never really opens up to people
I know it's a stretch but when we get virtually nothing about Makoto's past we might as well try to find out why. I generally like the idea that Makoto chose to be optimistic, kind, and hopeful despite having every reason to be the opposite. It adds to why he is so willing to offer redemption. (I also unfortunately went through something similar and heavily relate to Makoto so this is also slightly projection)
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Hmm while if you want to go that route i'd say you could argue it, I do have my disagreements, this isnt to say it s not possible, but I just think there are better explanations
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I always thought myself that it was more he collapsed and was unable to do so then an active choice, but thats more conjecture, you could definitely make it an active choice and I wouldn't call foul on it
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I feel like SA is a bit over the top of a reason, like it COULD be a reason, but combining that with Komaru's statement it feels like it'd be more likely to avoid other kinds of punishments, also could just be an inherent personality trait
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I've got no complaint with this one, it is very much a sign of sexual abuse, alone I don't think i'd call it enough to be definitive but if someone wanted to run with it i'd be like "yeah makes sense"
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The motive video person for everyone was only one single person, Hifumi, Leon, Aoi, and Kirigiri all had non-parental family members chosen (Sister, Cousin, Brother, Grandfather) while some people DID have parents Ishimaru, Hagakure, Chihiro it's definitely not the majority, other people Mondo, Sakura, Byakuya, Sayaka all had people they were not related to (Bodyguard, Boyfriend, Butler, Band Member) if anything the only two people I would take this as proof of a bad relationship for would be Toko and Celeste as they're the only people with non human hostages (A stinkbug and her pet cat)
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I wouldn't call this special, especially by the point of chapter 5 Makoto has gained a lot of survival skills, and lying is one of them, plus people just can lie
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There's nothing wrong with this one, however it does feel like a bit of a stretch, Makoto has this whole game been going "its not our fault, its monokumas" every time someone has guilt over the vote or anything, this very much just feels like an extension of that, especially with Monokuma very visibly and obviously rushing the trial.
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This one's kind of interesting because Makoto does shockingly keep his cards a lot closer to his chest then people give him credit for, but I'd say he's pretty open to at least Kirigiri by the end if not everyone, especially since a killing game requires him to not be completely open to everyone all the time
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This is good evidence to at the very least the Naegi's having some questionable punishment methods, but at the same time Komaru is very open about her school life which has....so many red flags, like seriously its fucking creepy komaru really do be like "yeah my old teacher used to break into my room to watch me sleep but im pretty sure it was his ghost" like GIRL WHAT so it's actually a bit hard to tell if it's the naegi's doing it, or her school life just being fucked up again
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Like girl seriously are you okay
tldr; I personally think there are better explanations for most of these points, however it would still be an interesting concept to explore and I can definitely see why someone would believe it, it's not my personal theory but exploring makoto under the lens of an abuse survivor is definitely a fascinating thing to do, and also if you want to further look into and back up this reading I'd check out a lot more of komaru's dialogue because I think you'd find some interesting points to make about it through that lens you could add to you repertoire
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