#but i don't think there are any typos so !!!!

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[starlightvld]

Up in Smoke

(Also on AO3)

The first time Ghost rips the cigarette from Soap's mouth, drops it on the ground, and stomps on it as he passes by, Soap is too stunned to say anything for a full ten seconds. They've only been working together consistently for a couple of missions, and even as his superior officer, the audacity of the action floors him.

By the time his brain restarts, Ghost is long gone.

--

The second time Ghost steals Soap's cigarette, he bursts out in a string of Scottish curses and tackles Ghost from behind before the wanker can drop it on the ground. An impromptu sparring match ensues, fists and curses flying. 

Afterward, he doesn't feel much like a cigarette anymore — not with the split lip, anyway. Besides, the buzzing under his skin that usually drives him to smoke is just... gone.

Price catches wind of the incident, of course, and calls them into his office a few hours later. By that time Soap has calmed down enough to be... maybe not okay with it, but at least able to see the humor. 

"What's this about you muppets scuffling by the smoking area?"

"Just a little sparring to blow off steam," Soap says.

"Ghost?"

"Nothin' to worry about, Captain."

"No? I've got one soldier who looks like he just got back from a bar fight, and the other..." He squints at Ghost. "He get a hit in on you, too?"

"Yeah," Ghost replies in that deadpan tone of his. "Coupla black eyes."

It's a joke. 

Ghost is telling a joke. And it's objectively not funny. It's not. But Soap bursts into hysterical laughter all the same. 

The corners of Ghost's blacked-out eyes crinkle. 

Price rubs his temples before dropping his hand on his desk. Soap presses his lips together to contain his laughter.

"Sparring happens in the gym. I'm sure you know the place. It's where we have things like mats and gloves. I catch you two bare-knuckle fighting again, and you will regret it."

And it's enough to sober Soap up. He avoids Ghost as he ducks away to catch dinner.

--

The third time... well, no. He supposes that's really the fourth time. 

Because the actual third time, Soap had come back from a shit mission where everything went wrong. Intel was faulty, exfil was delayed, and people under his command died. It didn't happen as often in SAS as it had in the regulars — the soldiers here were well-trained and hard to kill — but that made it all the worse. 

When Ghost tried to pluck the cigarette from his mouth, Soap growled. 

"Back the fuck up, Lt. Or Price is gonna be disappointed in both of us."

Ghost paused, and their eyes met. Slowly, Ghost lowered his hand. 

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Fuck no."

"Thank God."

Soap didn't have it in him to even huff a laugh. He took a long drag and blew the smoke away from Ghost as a peace offering.

To his surprise, Ghost didn't leave. He spun around and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. They stood there together, utterly silent, as Soap let the heat and sting in his lungs soothe the beast inside that wanted to rip the world apart.

When he was done, though, he was surprised to find he didn't want another. Usually after shit missions, he'd stand there and smoke half a pack before his hands would stop shaking.

He finally met Ghost's eyes. The man quirked a barely visible brow.

"S'pose we should take it to the mats this time?"

Ghost pushed off the building and started walking. Soap followed like a lost child looking for a way home. 

--

The fourth time is in Chicago. His hands are shaking not from losing soldiers but from almost losing his own life. The cigarette trembles in his grip as he stands outside the bar, the biting wind turning his fingers and probably his lips blue. He lifts it to his mouth, inhaling deep—

And then it's gone.

The whine that bubbles up from his gut and bursts from his throat is nothing short of humiliating. But God. God. He needs it.

"Not now. Please, Ghost."

"Why?"

Ghost hasn't thrown the cigarette down. Yet. He cocks his head to the side and gives Soap a long look. Soap can only tremble from the cold and a need that goes deeper than a simple hit of nicotine.

"I just... I need it."

The cigarette drops to the ground, but Soap doesn't have time to lament the loss before that same hand is curling around Soap's neck and pulling him into a fucking massive chest. The other arm comes around Soap's shoulders and...

Ghost just stands there, holding him. And Soap can't help melting into the warmth and solidity of the man who saved his life just hours ago. He dares to curl in deeper. To raise his hands and clutch at Ghost's jacket. To let a few, silent tears escape his tight control.

Finally, his muscles relax. Ghost must feel it, because he turns and leads Soap back toward the bar.

"Why do ye even care?" Soap mumbles from his spot tucked into Ghost's side.

"Because those things'll kill ya."

Soap supposes the "I like you alive" is implied at this point.

--

Soap loses count after Chicago. He gets stretches of days when Ghost is on a solo op or out with one of the other operators when he can smoke in peace. So he does.

At first.

He's been hooked since he was a rebellious teen trying to make his mark on the world. He's tried to quit multiple times, but it never seems to stick. The first bad mission or adrenaline-filled near miss and he's back at whatever smoking spot he can find, puffing away.

He finds himself trying to cut back, though, even when Ghost is away.

Any time Ghost is on base, all bets are off. In addition to darting by and making a grab for it or sneaking up behind him and flicking it out of his hands, Ghost has gotten more creative. Sometimes Soap will pull out a cigarette only to find he's "lost" his lighter. Sometimes the cigarettes themselves go missing — he clutches his chest and mourns all that wasted money whenever a whole pack disappears. 

He supposes it's all just going up in smoke anyway, though.

He should be angry. But in truth, it's almost a relief to hand over the reins to Ghost. To let the man help him by annoying the shit out of him until he wants to give up on it entirely.

Which is definitely the point. Ghost has made that perfectly clear.

So, whenever he gets the urge to calm his racing thoughts or overactive mind with a cigarette, he finds Ghost and annoys him instead. They talk, or spar, or simply sit in silence together, doing their own thing. Ghost doesn't often touch him — their moment in Chicago is still the closest Soap's ever gotten to the elusive Ghost — but he also doesn't push Soap away when he slumps into Ghost's side after a hard day or leans over his back when he's sitting at the table in the 141's common area on base.

The urge doesn't go away, of course. And sometimes, when things get really bad, Ghost will just sit or stand with him like he did the third time. Still, he finds himself smoking less and hanging out with Ghost more.

--

The last time Ghost steals a cigarette from Soap, he simply stands beside Soap and holds out his hand. Soap immediately knows something has gone terribly wrong. Still, he's too invested in the game now to not hand the cigarette over.

He nearly keels over when Ghost pulls up his mask and takes a long, hard drag. Soap watches in fascination as his cheeks hollow, his neck muscles strain, his lips curve around the paper. It's erotic in a way he really shouldn't be thinking about in regards to his emotionally unavailable superior officer, but the knowledge hasn't stopped him yet. Since that day in Chicago — probably before if he's honest — he's only ever wanted to be closer.

Ghost coughs a little and hands the cigarette back.

"Fuck. Just as disgusting as I remember."

"Ye used to smoke, then?"

"Before I joined up, yeah. Hated it, though."

"The smell? Or—"

"Everything. The taste, the smell, the heat..." Ghost trails off, his hand rubbing over his bicep in a strangely specific way. He shakes his head and looks back at Soap. "Not your problem, Johnny. Forget about it."

Soap's hand is darting out, fingers curling into Ghost's jacket, before he's properly thought through the action. Ghost pauses before turning back. They stare in silence for a moment until—

Soap stubs out the half-burned cigarette and drops the butt in the trash. He licks his lips. Glances up at Ghost. The mask is still sitting on his nose, and Soap stares at his lips for longer than he should before pulling the pack out of his pocket and throwing it in the trash, too.

"Cannae have ye thinking I stink, can I?"

"Too late."

But Ghost's throat bobs with a hard swallow. Soap wets his lips, takes a step closer, and uncurls his fingers to slide his hand up Ghost's chest until his fingertips are resting on Ghost's shirt collar.

"I dinnae think it is."

Ghost turns and walks away. Soap closes his eyes and drops his hand, internally cursing his impulsive behavior. The scuffing of boots walking away from him is like nails on a chalk board.

Until they stop, and a gruff voice calls out, "You comin'?"

A slow smile slides across Soap's mouth. "No' yet."

A huff — exasperation? laughter? a bit of both? — before, "Better get movin' then."

And Soap has never been more glad to follow an order.

[iztea]

helloo!! i was wondering how you go about rendering hair because i’ve been staring at your drawings for HOURS and i’m in love. like literally entranced with your art style.

sorry if you’ve already answered this question!!

hii! sorry for the late reply, i wanted to use this ask as a opportunity to drop the little hair "tutorial" that i promised a while back so here it is; this is how I personally draw hair ** side note: i didn't use any references for this one so it's strictly painted off the top of my head

[lost-in-fandoms]

Thought i would be done but...yeah didn't happen. Part one here.

Living with Max is easy.

He doesn't whine when Daniel is taking care of his leg, he doesn't mind sleeping on some blankets on the floor, next to the fireplace, he offers to help around, and best of all he doesn't ask questions.

Well, not exactly. He asks so many questions. Once he gets over his initial bout of shyness and quiet, he asks questions about Daniel's vegetables, about his horse, about the woods, about the traps, about the animals. He offers his own opinions too, telling Daniel he's growing peas in too much shade and that he's cooking his meat for too long. And, much to Daniel's annoyance, he is often right too.

But he doesn't ask questions about Daniel. He doesn't know if it is because Max doesn't care or because he doesn't want to be asked questions back, but he appreciates being spared the trouble of telling him to mind his own business.

They also work surprisingly well together. Max is older than he initially seemed, dirt, hunger and exhaustion making him look younger, and he seems to know a little bit of everything. Even if he doesn't ask, Daniel is a little curious about what path in life brought him to have such a wide mix of knowledge. He seems to know how to move around the woods without scaring the prey, how to skin and cook animals, how to take care of the vegetables (better than Daniel), how to keep himself and the house clean.

It's nice to have a second pair of hands around, even if the pair of hands should sit down more often to let their leg heal. Not that Max ever listened to that.

And he's funny. Daniel hadn't realised how much he missed just sitting around the table after dinner, talking and laughing with someone else. How good it was to wake up and find the fire already stoked and the water pitch already filled. To have someone to say good morning to who would say it back.

Daniel hadn't been thinking of himself as lonely before, he was content with his choice of life, but he can admit that he likes this. He is glad Max decided to stay and he's glad Max seems to be having a good time too, at least from what Daniel could tell.

This is why, when about three weeks after Max's arrival he wakes up in the middle of the night to the sounds of him moving around the house, his first thought isn't Max is leaving, but something is wrong.

"Are you okay?" he asks, voice scratchy with sleep and way too loud in the quiet of the night.

He watches Max flinch, dropping something, before turning around to face Daniel.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers, too shaky to be a good order. There's something different in his voice, and it only takes Daniel's tired brain a few moments to realise that he had heard those notes before, in the woods about three weeks ago. Fear.

Daniel sits up, eyes finally adjusting to the silver darkness of the room, moonlight streaming through the open windows.

"What's wrong?" he asks again, voice lower, matching Max's whisper.

He listens to the sounds coming from outside, thinking that maybe the men Max was running from have come back, but he can't hear anything unusual in the late summer night.

Max is grabbing what he dropped on the floor, stuffing it into a bag that he must have taken from Daniel's things, but the moment, Daniel doesn't even care about the fact that he's very obviously stealing from him.

"Max, what is happening?" He's getting frustrated now, hates not knowing what is going on, worry and irritation growing together.

He stands up, taking a couple of steps towards Max, wanting to see him better, but he stops when Max flinches back.

"I need to leave," he finally says, voice raspy. It's not an explanation, and Daniel suddenly regrets never asking any questions.

"Why? Where?"

He doesn't want Max to leave. The knowledge of that settles like armor on his chest, safe but heavy. Living with Max isn't just easy, it's good. He doesn't want to go back to an empty house, not after the past weeks have been so nice.

"I...I need..." Max shudders, as if in pain, and Daniel's legs ache with the need of walking closer.

"Did something happen?" Did I do something wrong?

Max shakes his head, jerky and sharp. When he exhales, Daniel can hear him bite back a whine.

He doesn't want to scare Max, but he is confused, and he is worried, and he is not going to let him go without an explanation.

He steps between Max and the door.

"You owe me an explanation," he says, hating the way it makes Max stiffen, unwilling to take it back anyway.

"I don't owe you..." Max snaps, before interrupting himself with half a growl. "You haven't told me anything either!"

"That's different. I'm not running away in the middle of the night."

Max takes a step forward, back tense, and Daniel instinctively braces himself, eyes flying towards the table, where his knife always is, but Max doesn't attack him.

He shivers again, hands clenching around the bag and then letting it fall on the ground with a thump, shoulders slumping as all the fight seems to leave him.

"Please, Daniel, I need to leave. It's...it's not safe."

Max looks up, finally meeting Daniel's eyes, and he's suddenly reminded of what the man had said, so many days ago.

He's dangerous. Cursed.

Max's eyes look weird, blue brighter than ever, almost glowing in the moonlight. His face is twisted in pain and there's the glimmer of sweat gathering at his hairline. None of that would worry Daniel, but there's something...different in him. Something other.

Cursed.

The room seems too bright now. The moon is almost full tonight.

Cursed.

Max had said he hadn't killed anyone, but if this is what Daniel is thinking of...

Max closes his eyes, whole body shivering again, his edges almost blurring with it. Or maybe it's not just a trick of the light. Daniel doesn't know what to think anymore.

He doesn't want Max to go. He doesn't want this to happen.

He steps away from the door.

For a moment, they both stand still, looking at each other.

For a moment, Daniel hopes he'll wake up and it will be morning, and Max will be coming in with the last tomatoes from the garden.

Then Max whines, something low and pained, something animal, and bolts.

Daniel doesn't stop him.

He watches as his shadow changes even before he's fully reached the trees.

Then he sits on the doorstep and waits for the sunrise.

[runomye]

If kingsisle isn't gonna let me see my favorite boys again, I guess i gotta draw them myself

[triple-starsss]

i am SOOOO INVESTED in this au like im about to start a stan twitter account i'm about to make one of those one direction imagines IM!!! SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM!! i'm curious though how do triple s leave eggman's management and how do they continue as a band following that since you mentioned it in your answer about the music?? and seriously tysm for making this au it drives me insane /pos

AAAH IM GLAD TO HEAR THAT LOL i should make a Triple☆S fancam at this rate (also wooo on a roll with asks today asbdjf)

AND OUGHH still working out the finer details of this but i have a sort of vague idea of how i want it to play out!! (also brace yourself this is long as hell)

This is during a period where they start touring and are essentially at the peak of their fame!! They're all incredibly exhausted from the almost daily concerts - mentally and physically. It gets bad enough that Silver ends up fainting live (this was their sort of wake up call that okay shit, we seriously can't be doing this anymore)

With Rouge's help they manage to sneak away from their tour bus prior to the concert happening the next day (which would've been one of the bigger ones in terms of ticket sales). They stay at her place for the mean time, THOUGH OBVIOUSLY THIS CAUSES A PROBLEM FOR EGGMAN!!! Can't exactly have a concert without Triple☆S performing and there were already a shit load of people waiting within the venue - he promptly cancels the event and has to refund all the tickets they sold for this concert (causing a significant dent in his profit as well as reputation).

Fans are incredibly worried (and frustrated)- they don't hear from the band themselves for about a week as they keep missing the tours, Eggman is continuing to lose A LOT of money and his patience!!

this is the part that i'm still working out BASJDHF but eventually they make an appearance again, on a little stage in the middle of the city center. People quickly take notice, crowding around them, barraging them with questions and complaints ETC ABSDJ. They encourage people to start recording and they talk about Eggman, his cruelty (to not only them but his other workers), greed, unethical practices THE WHOLE LOT. This info spreads like wildfire and eventually Eggman is taken away to be put on trial (and is clearly guilty) - effectively ruining his whole business and severing them from his management (yippee!!)

after all that they take a LOOOONGGG ass break from the spotlight absjdhf but they've grown to really enjoy the band and each other's company - choosing to instead be a bit more of an underground (ha sonic underground) group, performing music more catered to their tastes and initial vision for the band (this does dwindle their popularity but they find comfort in that).

They do obviously end up losing their apartment too absjdf - Sonic lives with Tails again, Silver finally gets his own place and Shadow sort of bounces between living with Rouge and back with Gerald and Maria!!

[dustykneed]

can you share some of your mirror verse hcs?

(gladly! ... as you can see this really got away from me in terms of length and i am SO sorry in advance for springing a whole short essay on you skdjsdh)

to open with a bit of a shocker, perhaps, well, the way i interpret the mirrorverse, i just... cannot see mirror mcspirk happening. now don't get me wrong! i think mirror spirk is absolutely possible, and in fact highly probable, and not even as just a sleeping together thing. i think their dynamic could absolutely yield a form of co-dependent emotional attachment on a highly personal level. everyone defines love differently, but i think that in the mirrorverse, if not love, it is certainly as close as you could get. but mirror mcspirk i actually can't see, believe it or not, and this is for a couple of reasons:

the thing about the mirrorverse is that it is all about the death of humanity (not humans, but for what we know as the human capacity for empathy, kindness and hope. i've seen the mirrorverse described as "the universe where no hope can survive". i think that is a very apt summary of what i explore here.) one key assumption of my interpretation of the mirrorverse is that the characters themselves, initially, are no different from how they are in any other universe at the core, and it is the varied external factors of the universe in which they exist that produces the people they become.

to examine the effects of the mirrorverse on the triumvirate, we might begin by looking at the original triumvirate's relationships with the concept of "goodness", with reference to the principles of ethos, logos and pathos.

one of the fundaments of kirk, as a character, is his relationship with goodness as a choice. he represents ethos, morality, in that his goodness is the result of a conscious decision to be good, to do good, as far as possible, to pick the least of any evils if he absolutely must and even if it is difficult, to keep going for the greater good. in the end, it all boils down to his core motivation to be a net force of goodness on the world, or in other words, to train his eyes on the bigger picture when interacting with the situation at hand and to believe that goodness can always prevail in the sense that he will have a net positive impact on the world around him.

spock, on the other hand, is arguably characterized by his relationship with defining goodness. his struggle to reconcile logic and emotion goes hand in hand with his desire to know if, and why, what he is doing is right-- logos. other vulcans rationalize displays of emotion by interpreting them through the lens of logic. spock, i think, is unable to do this because while he has been taught that emotions are illogical and undesirable, and internalizes this to perhaps a far stricter extent than most vulcans due to being held to unfairly high standards to prove himself "vulcan enough", he recognizes on a subconscious level that there is no inherent contradiction between logic and emotions, and that goodness is a mixture of value judgements and rational, ethical methodology.

but mccoy, i think, is a little different, in that goodness in itself is what defines him as a character. instead of ethos (making the right decision) or logos (understanding what makes something right), mccoy's pathos (an unrefined, innate compulsion for goodness; something similar to mencius' theory of good human nature) is not a conscious decision or a principle of action, but a visceral, impulsive, desperate, sometimes irrational and neurotic need to do good no matter the cost, simply because he instinctively knows that it is the kind thing and therefore the right thing to do-- which, sometimes, makes him disregard the bigger picture, and, ironically, do the wrong thing out of irrationality.

(to digress-- i actually think that kirk is actually far more logical than we sometimes give him credit for, especially in the context of spirk. the dynamic of a logical, stoic character and an emotional, affectionate character whose very souls find solace in one another is a hugely compelling and moving one, and i cannot fault people for applying that dynamic to their relationship-- but, well, by virtue of being relatively less direct associations of their character dynamics in the context of slash, i think what happens sometimes with spones, mckirk and mcspirk is that in the process of fumbling around for ways to fit them together believably, people often end up doing a greater degree of exploration of their character dynamics and nuances that is like catnip to me xD)

for kirk and spock, as men whose worldviews are rooted in tangible logic, where the goodness they have seen is the driving force for their pursuit of morality, i do not doubt that without external proof of goodness as a feasible, worthy path, the same traits that grant them their steadfast belief in humanity and hence their great devotion to goodness will be the traits that drive them to turn away from that goodness in the mirror universe. in a world where hope cannot survive, where cruelty and ambition are the only constants, kirk's resourcefulness prompts him to adapt to his environment and seek what he sees as the bigger picture-- ambition and power. spock, a being of logic, observes that cruelty is simply how the world functions, and as a result applies this science to his interactions with it, seeking power not because of a specific ambition, but, again, because it is a logical course of action according to his observations.

i see spirk as highly probable in the mirrorverse precisely because of how alike they are in this regard. they are capable of great compartmentalization of personal sentiments in order to do what they consider "the right thing", or take the "logical course of action", and this is what makes them effective in command roles, where dwelling on the implications of a wrong decision could either kill you from the sheer crushing guilt, or kill more of your men because of your indecision. they are comfortable in their pursuit of power by use of force because they have internalized the rules of the mirrorverse, and are able find solace in each other because they are evenly matched as opponents and a force to be reckoned with when in alliance, which gives them the space to develop that personal attachment and tension in the first place.

but mccoy? mccoy's goodness isn't rooted in logic, and as a result, this facet of his character largely remains untouched even in the face of the greatest cruelties and atrocities his world can offer. his great stubbornness (or illogic, or perhaps even self-delusion) lends him the ability to, against all odds, still believe that people are inherently worthy of kindness and compassion. he believes in good without ever having experienced it, because his belief in good is illogical by nature.

i have no doubt that mccoy would possibly love kirk, and spock, in part simply because he resonates subconsciously with the capacity of kirk and spock to show great kindness. it is possible that he sees the apparitions of what they could have become, had the world not been so unkind to them, and his love for them is tinged with an undercurrent of mixed grief and disgust, and pity. but fundamentally he doesn't trust spirk-- and because of that i think he could never bring himself to truly fall in love even though he has the capacity for it, because that would require betraying his love for humanity.

i think, based on the way mirror kirk and spock likely treat mccoy, as technically their subordinate (and especially in mirror mirror, when mirror spock mind melds with mccoy to figure out why he saved his life without so much as a moment's hesitation, because he doesn't see mirror mccoy as a threat, so why would a mccoy from a softer, kinder universe ever be anything more?) i wouldn't be surprised if they saw mccoy as... lesser. you know? they know that mccoy isn't capable of seeking power the way they do. that makes him weak. i think they trust him far more than anyone else other than each other, perhaps less out of respect for his profession or character, but more because they are able to clear him as a possible threat, as something too pathetic to seize power even when given the chance. they definitely have some interest in his motivations-- like you would a pet, or a plaything, because kindness makes you a target, a weakness, and a liability. a fascinating study, but ultimately, inadvertently disposable.

and it makes sense, in a way, that they are unable to bring themselves to ally themselves with mccoy the way they have each other, because in the mirrorverse, to believe in kindness is a death sentence. they might pity mccoy or regard him with contempt borne out of inexplicable regret, the same way mccoy pities them, for his wasted potential as an asset (and maybe even as a partner). by insulating themselves against their inevitable loss of mccoy, conciously or otherwise, they save themselves another hurt in their world where hope is a lost cause.

(i definitely have more bouncing around in my head about mirror bones especially, but i think 1.5k words is enough for one sitting LMAO so sorry i think i'm halfway in finals mode still. but this is why i could never take literature lol i can never help myself and it takes a lot out of me xDD)

(oh and @callofdooty i think the mirrorverse as a place where no hope can survive quote was from you during our conversations about mirror bones! but either way i think you might enjoy this hahah)

[momentomori24]

Long-ass fandom rant because I need to scream into the void to find a reason to live let's gooooo

[For context I wrote most of this last friday which I thought was good to mention so the timeline makes a bit more sense. I really held off on this one XD Welp, let's start this trainwreck.]

Ok, I know I have other long posts I should be paying attention to (*cough* Keiji's shady shenanigans rant *cough*) among other probably more important things, but quickly wanna get this off my chest because it's kinda started to bug me and add even more concerns about the yttd fandom than I already have. This is specifically going to be about soushin-- yeah, yeah, I know-- but also bleed into something more... broad. Or broader. Idk, I'm a Tumblr user not a grammar teacher.

While browsing through Twitter I've been noticing a little spike in popularity for yttd with more fans and soushin shippers emerging as well. Which is cool, the game deserves all the praise and popularity it can get. And as someone whose been here for years, I'm glad that the fandom is slowly and steadily grown more accepting of soushin compared to the attitude around it way back when. There's been some genuinely really cool stuff that really does the ship justice from a lot of talented artist and writers that I absolutely love (will link some later), but something I've also been seeing a lot of from fans is what I can only describe as a "sanitisation resurgence" (but not really. kinda). A week or two ago on Twitter I stumbled across some soushin discourse where some people were sharing the sentiment that "if soushin end up being related and/or have a big age gap the ship is ruined". That they can only be two years apart max or else Nankidai has "fumbled them".

And the only response to that I had is "what". Like, how is that a deal breaker to you lot? How did you even get into the ship without accepting that those things could very likely end up being canon? How are you here and not ready to ship them no matter what's revealed about them after everything we've learned about them? Midori and Shin possibly being related was always on the table, and Midori potentially having already been an adult when Shin was in high school was always a very real possibility ever since we learned that he was never actually a student at his school. This is literally what soushin shippers got harassed by antis for years ago. Soushin is "problematic", and that's why people who shipped them where treated so badly in the fandom or just excluded all together. I can't count how many timed I've come across a "soushin shippers dni" or "soushiners are freaks and I hope you all have a bad day" or soushin fanfics/art with "I DON'T ACTUALLY SHIP IT BTW" and "not a ship" and "actual soushin shippers dni" attached to it. I can't recall how many times I had to explain myself with the "I ship but I don't condone it irl" or explain why I shipped them to not be labelled as a freak as if you need an excuse to ship anything fictional to begin with. I still remember soushin artist @uououoon and how they ended up deleting their Twitter account years ago because of the harassment and slanderous comments they were receiving for ships the fandom deemed problematic. When a person was saying their goodbyes to them on reddit and made some goodbye art (which is now deleted), some assholes in the comments were calling them weirdos and pedophiles for how they explored fiction and "glorified abuse" (which are the usual comments to uououoon's art posted on reddit unfortunately). I only caught wind of this one because back when they were still active in the fandom they were my favourite soushin artist and I went through their stuff almost every day and was tipped off when I randomly couldn't find their account anymore. They were such a nice and incredibly talented person too so the fact they essentially got bullied by a flock of stupid western fans seriously irritates me thinking about it again. This is why we cannot have nice things.

Soushin is "problematic". It's toxic and subtly abusive and important to the characters in question, but that didn't stop people from going after people who wanted to explore a dark, canon relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). How the actual hell did we go from "soushin has very toxic and problematic elements and you shouldn't be shipping it, you fucking freaks" to "you can ship it but don't make it actually problematic, you fucking freaks" like what is happening right now???? The worst part is that this is coming from other soushin shippers. The fact that there's actually soushiners with "proshippers dni" or "soushin is not for proship" genuinely makes me want to bite someone. Like, you horrible summer child-- not only are you demonstrating that you don't even know what "proship" actually means, but you're also spitting in the face of the people in our community that have CARRIED this ship for us for years. Why throw them under the bus to be one of the “good ones” in the eyes of antis when they hate us all anyway?

This brings us back to the sanitisation point: I feel like soushin is slowly being "sanitised" to fit the sensitive palette of antis by trying to make them as "morally acceptable" as possible. It's a worry I’ve had for a long time that once the fandom grows more accepting of the ship we'll be seeing more people basically scrubbing soushin of everything that made, well, soushin, to justify enjoying it. I've seen a bit of it already with a few people trying to say it's "not abusive" or just erase Shin's very obvious trauma by Midori all together for quite some time. Guess it's starting to happen on a bigger scale sooner rather than later. Maybe. Personally I don't think soushin having a big age gap or being related would ruin the ship. It just adds another layer of fucked up to their already fucked up relationship (I already hc Midori to be significantly older anyway so maybe I'm just biased). It doesn't really matter. I came here for toxic yaoi. I want nuclear waste level toxicity, not nuclear waste level toxicity presented in the most conventional and moral way possible. What would the point even be? It’s like packaging poison in a grape juice box. Like, it might be harmless to look at and more justifiable to think of as delicious, but it’s still poison. You making it look all cute and innocent isn’t going to change that. It's kinda funny and by that I mean not really that people will talk about wanting more "toxic yaoi" but when the yaoi is actually toxic and messy and horrific they will cry about it being "bad" or "ruined". You don't actually want dark dynamics, you want dark dynamics stripped of everything that makes them uncomfortable and dark so it's digestible to your tastes that don't even align with said dynamics in the first place. The worst part of this whole "soushin isn't proship so it's fine" bullshit is that it relies on trying to make the ship more "morally acceptable" or "legal" than other ships. Dawg, we are talking about abuse. You shouldn't be minimising that to say "well it's not [insert other terrible thing] so it's fine!!" That's not the "gotcha" you think it is. It’s one of the reasons why antis being into soushin made me feel weird cuz like you can’t ship it and then turn around to insult someone else, man (I’ve seen so many soushin defenders bash other “proships” to justify theirs like what are you doing--).

Realistically, the simplest and smartest thing to do when I see someone mischaracterise or butcher my faves is to either block or ignore and pretend to not care so I don't act on my sixth sense telling me to off them and myself. Realistically, this shouldn't be a big deal or anything that important, but this attitude is usually weaponized to harm and harass people who don't conform to their purity crisis over fiction. I'm in the unfortunate position of being not only a Your Turn to Die fandom dweller, but a Hazbin Hotel and The Coffin of Andy and Leyley one too. I'm used to being labelled a rapist and incest apologist irl who's delusional and deserves to be harassed and insulted by virtue of the media or ships I like (probably not a good thing). But people who are more active in these fandoms than me have it much worse as they get this shit directly waaaay more often while I mostly get called these things indirectly, which is what motivated me more to make this post.

So a couple days ago someone made some art of Monika from ddlc, Nikole (don't know the game sorry) and Ashley from Tcoaal. A lot of people on Twitter, unsurprisingly, bashed it for including Ashley to the point where some felt the need to clarify that they like her as a character but her actions (for some reason I do not understand like Monika has also done some seriously evil shit why are you not applying that logic to her too?). What struck me the most is that a yttd fan-- a self proclaimed "Midori enthusiast"-- ALSO quoted it to bash having Ashley in it. A freaking Midori fan. I told them to mind their business and start separating fiction and reality and to stop being a hypocrite, and thus ensued the most hilarious and stupidest convo I've had in a while:

You can literally count the seconds it takes for these guys to start throwing predator accusations and slurs at people. So "not exploring fiction correctly" makes me weird, but harming or putting real people on blast for nothing is free game, apparently. They're not the worst, both in this instance and in general, but it just stuck with me. Which is impressive, cuz I normally don't have much emotions to spare aside from general mild irritation for things like this. Maybe it's the Sonic feet.

But it ties into my issue. Midori's an absolute piece of garbage, yet some people will convince themselves that his actions are in some way justifiable to justify their hatred of something else (that is a lot less severe in this case) rather than love and let love. Tcoaal is not an "incest game" and if you describe it like that unironically you are not ready to be on the internet. No, it doesn't condone or glorify incest-- it literally does the opposite. If you need the characters to look into the camera and say "what we're doing is wrong and immoral" before doing something bad, I think you're the problem at that point. For the same reason you liking Midori (probably) doesn't mean you support human experimentation and torture, someone liking Tcoaal doesn't mean they support incest and someone shipping soushin doesn't mean they support abuse. These things are dark and shouldn't be condoned irl, but this is fiction. We can do whatever the hell we want. Being into darker themes and media doesn't have to reflect your real world views, but the inability to grasp that sentiment leads people to make their interests as moral and sanitised as possible and, feeling morally superior, will go after people who don't do that. This person deadass said that "incest is not morally grey and absolutely unjustifiable" (didn't even say that it wasn't btw) as if their blorbo hasn't committed so many atrocities for kicks that I personally find more unjustifiable. That line implies that they think that everything else Ashley has done and everything Midori has done can be justified because it wasn't incest specifically, which I find is a WILD thing to insinuate XD But it really does encapsulate the hoops antis will jump through to defend their likes while attacking yours despite the fact that it's literally the exact same as theirs. Rule of thumb: if someone accuses you of condoning something immoral because you like it in fiction, apply that logic to them, look at what they like and if their wet little meow meow is the Joker, Eren, Killua, Makima, Midori or whatever other morally bankrupt character you can come up with, take that as a confession and run. Cuz half the time these guys are actually nuts. While quote tweeting someone to shit on their art isn't the worst thing, considering how twitter has treated tcoaal artists the fact that they'd potentially open them up to harassment pissed me off, which is probably evident from my tone.

[Hi hi, this is me from the present right now cuz a more recent development came up so I’m using it as an example here too.]

While most of the things listed here have all been happening online, this attitude can come up in the real world as well.

As OP states, a bunch of hellaverse cosplayers were targetted at a french convention by haters of the show trying to ruin their cosplay. This is already completely unacceptable but the thing I can’t for the life of me get over is torching their costume while they’re still wearing it. Literally attempting to set someone on fire. All over a fucking show. It’s baffling how people can justify actions like this because they think your taste in fiction is so disgusting it’s Ok for them to hurt you. Not just online, but outside as well. It’s not the first time a hellaverse cosplayer has been harassed (last time it was a Valentino cosplayer but then again Val fans get shit from all sides all the time), and while I’m pretty sure these will remain as isolated cases it’s still scary to think about. What’s even more scary to think about how people think that their opinion on hazbin hotel has any relevance to the situation. So many of the comments in that post are just “I hate Hazbin Hotel, but—” or “I hate the fandom, but--” or “I hate Vivzie, but—” and I’m literally here ready to start pouncing like SHUT UP. No buts. That is not in any way important here. You not liking the show or the creator should not be important to the situation of cosplayers being actively harmed. You don’t have to signal your allegiances before showing basic human empathy, goddamnit. And what’s even worse is that some people have just turned this into a “b-but the hazbin fandom!!” issue, which is insulting. For example:

The “Hazbin fans do blackface and disrespect black people daily” is a reference to ONE Alastor cosplayer that nobody had defended. Not even fans. At least no one I can find. Yet they are using this one bad apple to generalise the whole fandom as "bad" and down play the amount of bullshit the hatedom does to fans on a regular. It kinda makes me feel sick that someone would look at a situation like this and spin this into a “fandom thing” rather than focusing on the victims. That they don’t deserve to be taken as seriously just because of the fandom their in. Some lunatic in the comments was literally completely minimising this whole thing saying “some red paint (fake blood capsules) isn’t nearly as bad as lynching and what black people have gone through in America” before calling anyone who called out that that’s completely irrelevant racist for liking Hazbin Hotel like are you kidding me. My homies in Christ, someone almost got lit on fire can everyone please stay on the goddamn topic. This is one of the rare moments where I was kinda proud of twitter as the majority of the comments and quotes where calling out their bullshit, but the amount of likes and some of the comments are still disappointing.

So what points am I trying to make here? This was very spontaneous and rushed so apologies if it feels messy cuz it very much is messy. But my main points boil down to this: Purification, sanitation and the “fiction equals reality” and "your fictional tastes reflect on you morality irl" arguments need to die. They just have to. While petting Shin on a daily basis gives me enough serotonin to find the will to live, the only true solace I will find is when people start being normal. People shouldn’t be getting harassed or labelled as freaks for fiction you don’t like both online and real life. People are not less worthy of basic human decency and empathy solely based on their fictional interests. People should be able to explore fiction however the hell they want without worrying about there being made a call out post on them somewhere. I search Tcoaal on twitter and there’ll always be a bunch of posts with over 10k likes calling all fans annoying weirdos or say it’s an “incest game” even tho it literally isn’t. I will try looking for some Valangel art on tumblr and see some loser use the tag to basically shit on everyone who ships it and lying about the treatment these shippers get while defending Charlastor or just shit on the ship in general. I just exist on the twitter side of the HH fandom chilling with other Val fans and literally every single one of them has either received death/rape threats or told to kill themselves, got ratio’d by a bunch of haters, had a call out post saying not to follow dedicated to them, had their art reposted and Val scribbled out, repeatedly accused of ““romantising a rapist””, or all of the fucking above. Valentino’s VA gets asked if he’s actually like the character he plays in real life or a fan being “relieved that he didn’t abuse them like Valentino” when they met (kudos to Joel for being chill about it btw I would be fuming this fandom does not deserve this man). I type in a certain controversial yttd ship to search and most of the latest posts are just people being rude, saying that if Nankidai makes them canon they’ll drop the game, calling the man himself a freak, calling other shippers freaks, shitting on soushin as well and then having soushiners defend their ship while also shitting on said controversial ship. It genuinely feels like fanbases are circuses and we are the clowns 💀

I could list other examples people being weirdos but I can't do that without breaking the momentum of this post even more than I already have. I guess what I wanted to vent about is how these attitudes regarding fiction and the way people police how others engage with it and how people think of you based on what you like can go from just annoying to downright dangerous more often than you’d think. That belief that you are morally superior to someone else based on the fact that you ship or like things the “legal” and “pure” and “healthy” way (which is never actually the case btw) can lead to you being really disrespectful or a complete asshole and not feeling bad about it at all, which does more harm than good. Which is why I thought it was important to bring up more extreme cases to empathise how this obsessive gatekeeping of fiction can and does hurt real people, who should be more important to you than fictional characters.

All of this is very likely going to sound very aggressive in tone and I want to quickly clarify that this is not meant to be an attack towards anyone in particular. I'm just tired and recalling all this stuff is making my mood sink like a stone lmao. Who knows, maybe I'm just overexaggerating and things won't get worse when the game gets more popular. This is just what I've been witnessing both in and out of my side of the moon. The amount of yttd fans I've seen act like this are a lot tho. No fandom is perfect obviously, and this one is the farthest from it, but with new people coming in and this weird attitude and need to sanitise not only towards soushin, but other "problematic" ships and media as well growing more prominent (mostly on Twitter and Tiktok) my biggest worry is that the hostility in this fandom will just... increase? Roulettefeel made pretty good posts about it-- my favourites being this one, also this one and this one's pretty short and sweet, summarising most of my soushin points a lot better and shorter than my trainwreck of a post so I recommend checking them out. If you like soushin, go check them out. If you don't like soushin, go check them out anyway. They make stuff outside of soushin too. They're pretty cool.

[I also want to add that the whole sanitisation thing in the yttd fandom is nothing new. It’s been a thing for longer than I have been here. I’ve just been seeing it again with soushin, which is was what made me want to do this in the first place. There’s another dynamic the fandom obviously does this for, but uttering it would not only get me flamed but straight up burned at the stake of bad takes so I’m saving that for a rainy day.]

Aaaaannd, I'm done, I think. I didn't have a good conclusion for this in mind. Idk, just be nice? You don't have to like "proships" (or what the fandom has defined as proship cuz that's not the actual definition), but that's what the block buttons for. Don't like, don't read, I say. Fandoms are for everyone and as long as what the person is doing is harmless, let them feel safe being themselves without having to worry about someone coming after them. Real life cops already suck. Let's not bring them into our collective escapism. And something you personally don't like ending up canon doesn't mean the game or ship is "ruined". That doesn't just go for soushin. That goes for other things too. To tie up loose ends, soushin having an age gap or being related has always been on the table and fits with other themes in the narrative. That does not count as "bad" if it makes sense. Soushin is not "Ok to ship" because it's "not an illegal ship" (whatever tf that means) and it's not "bad to ship" because it's "romanticising abuse". It's fine to ship because it's fictional. You don't need a moral justification to ship anything. That goes for all ships. That's why NOTPs exist. And "proship" doesn't and has never meant "shipping problematic pairings". It's a stance on shipping. It means being pro people being allowed to ship whatever they want. That includes being cool with problematic pairings, but is not limited to those. It means not being a fandom cop. Please stop saying otherwise, I cannot keep living this way--

Soooouuu, to end off on a more positive note and finally put this whole thing to bed I'll link some of my fav newer soushin accounts for anyone who's interested:

Hyo (orewagahai on ao3 check that out too): They are an amazing, amazing writer. If you're into dark, abusive co-dependent, complicated soushin with beautiful characterisation I would highly recommend. They just posted another soushin drabble on twitter and it's great.

jinn: They've been putting out banger after banger ever since getting into the game. Their art is absolutely stunning and they upload frequently, so go check 'em out if you can! It's actual medicine for the soul, I promise. They also draw for dead plate, so if you're into that go ahead too.

angel: Also cool. They're soushin art is hilarious and cute. As much of a sucker as I am for toxic, abusive sludge, they give thses two idiots a silliness that I enjoy. Also if you like trans!Shin content they're pretty good.

欣武 (my dumbass forgot to add them the first time sorry): They are INCREDIBLE. Extremely incredible artist. Their art is so, so freaking good. Not checking them out is absolutely your loss, ngl.

Be nice to them. If I catch anyone attempting to annoy them I'm coming after you and your entire family. Let's be better and not chase new comers off this time :3 Thanks for listening to my incoherent venting. This is mostly for me to feel a bit better, but anyone is free to read. If anyone's got an opinion or observation, feel free to offer it. I need coffee. Coffee sounds good.

[arklay]

RESIDENT EVIL → THE WESKER FAMILY

To the public, little is known of the families behind some of the world’s most renowned bioterrorists, but the question remains: did they play a role in causing their children to walk down the path that they did? Or are these individuals simply ambitious criminals with delusions of grandeur?

For Diana Wesker (née Afanasyeva), her introduction into the bioweapons black market trade was upon discovering her employers were using her research into limb regeneration with salamanders to further their experiments in creating enhanced soldiers, instead of developing human therapies with which she was recruited for. Although the prospect of using biological weapons in the military did not appeal to her, the concept remained fascinating for her own selfish endeavours. Born on the 27th of October, 1963 in Sydney, Australia to Russian immigrant parents, Diana had harsh expectations placed upon her at a young age, ones that no matter how hard she tried she could never live up to. Her mother, Tatyana, was an unfeeling woman, absent for long stretches of time with little regard to how it affected her daughters, much more concerned with her craft as an accomplished opera singer. Viktor was no better. A strict man whose role as father and ballet master blurred, he pushed his girls to one day follow in his footsteps. Whilst Sofia enjoyed ballet, and went on to become a professional ballet dancer, Diana’s heart was set on going into the field of biology. She wished to make a name for herself, separate from her family – to which she succeeded.

Diana was married to former U.S. Marine, Dave Monroe, for only a year until he was declared dead in 1992 after succumbing to injuries sustained in a horrific car accident. Foul play was ruled out while Diana played the role of the grief-stricken widow, but in reality, she had snapped after years of mistreatment at her husband’s hands, and opted for something she could pass off as an accident to be free of him. For years she believed he was dead – and he was, legally – but that proved to not be the case when he found his way back into her life again in 1999. Unbeknownst to her, she had been lied to by the police and coroner, who were paid off by her employers when they took Dave’s body for themselves and used him as one of their first test subjects in developing supersoldiers. Before he could ever hurt her again, Diana’s second husband, Albert Wesker, tracked the man down, captured him and tortured him, before allowing Diana to get her violent and bloody revenge.

The origins of Albert Wesker’s involvement in bioterrorism, alongside his twin sister, Alex, are much different than that of Diana’s. The two hail from London, Canada, but unfortunately, they hold no memories of their lives there, nor what happened to their biological parents when they were eight years old. Agents of Oswell E. Spencer, an aristocratic billionaire and eugenicist, took the twins from their home and executed their parents as per Spencer’s orders. Albert and Alex were then placed in a home funded by the Spencer Foundation where they were given new names and a privileged upbringing. They had access to the best education possible, free to pursue whichever field they decided, but it was by no accident they both went into virology and bioengineering; at home, their adoptive parents – agents whom they believed to be their real parents – instilled them with the beliefs of Oswell E. Spencer, harbouring disdain for war and pestilence, and believing humans to be an evolutionary dead-end in need of a rebirth. They were only two of the hundreds of children “adopted” as part of what is known as Project W, a plan intended to develop an advanced race of human beings. The most promising candidates were headhunted by Umbrella Pharmaceuticals, the twins amongst them, where they went on to create bioweapons for the company founded by none other than the man who had handpicked them for his plan. The final stage of this was to infect the thirteen Spencer saw fit, however, only two survived; Albert received the intended effects, now possessing superhuman abilities, however, Alex was only offered more time to live due to her terminal degenerative illness.

In the summer of 1995, Diana was working undercover within Umbrella to gather development data on their projects for her company. Here, she had a chance encounter with Albert, an intelligence officer at the time, which permanently altered the course of her life. The two were never seen far from one another’s side, marrying in 1998, and they went on to become notorious in the bioweapons industry. The development of the Uroboros virus was where things took a turn for the worst. Although Diana’s infection was successful and she bore abilities that rivalled her husband’s, the plan itself did not succeed as they had hoped, and almost cost Albert his life at the hands of his former subordinates.

Now, they work within the shadows, with Diana declared missing and Albert believed to be dead. Their legacy, however, lives on with the mark they left on the world. As visionaries in their field, they influenced bioterror attacks carried out by countless individuals and organisations. In turn, they also inspired others to fight against such atrocities. One such person happens to be Albert’s son from a former relationship, Jake Müller, whose existence he was unaware of.

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

So I've read Chapter 427: "Who Was Shigaraki Tomura?"

Or as I am calling it in my head: *lights up candle* ... Is it a safe space to be a BNHA Hero and Villain fan yet? 

Okay, this is gonna be a long one- Prefacing this:

I love Izuku. I really really do. And I also wanted Spinner to lash out at him. This was even more than I could've asked for- I'd have been 100% on board with Spinner's vengeful widow arc if he wanted. Jokes aside, I liked. 2/3 of the chapter, would've been fine without the Overhaul stuff. I'm switching typing "Tenko | Tomura", probably, so please bear with me.

Spinner's been called a hypocrite for calling Izuku a murderer. I don't think Izuku is one; he wanted to save Tenko, broke his mental barriers to reach out when he gave away OFA, not to destroy his body. I don't think he knew the end result until Tomura!AFO was really breaking down. He failed, and he’s drowning in guilt (eyebags, repression, war veteran look, letting Spinner take it out on him).

In Spinner's defense: he's faced discrimination from society. His first friends were the LoV. Outcasts like him, no one would've been surprised if Spinner killed someone, sad as it is. Stain spared Izuku as a worthy hero, yet he fought Tomura, and no corpse was left. The flawed logic of Ch. 19: Heroes and Villains commit violence, but a hero was seen killing a person, and is praised for it. Who cares "Midoriya Izuku killed a person"? Hero Deku defeated a villain. Of course he'll be a "hypocrite" and say that.

Late add-on: It can feel worse because even Spinner fell into the bystander mentality; even he knew he could've helped Tomura before the final battle but didn't, and is dwelling on "what if a hero rescued him then?" Izuku technically is the only person to extend a hand, even if the results were. Well. Izuku tried and still was not enough. It's a gut punch on both.

Izuku saying he won't deny the murder comment, though? Cheers, I want him to have a mental breakdown. (I mean, he didn't have to talk to Spinner personally. I think it's both him wanting to honor Tenko and being driven by guilt).

People calling Tomura a monster is justified, even if it sucks. Tenko never had a choice in believing he was anything other than that and It's 100% AFO's fault. But in the end, Tomura still made the kill, unfair as it is. Not humanizing him, however, is a mistake; he should be humanized. Anyone could've ended up the way he did. Spinner is just on the extreme of sympathizing way too much to acknowledge how much suffering he brought. Society isn't better, they've regressed into Pre-AM paranoia. 

Pikahlua (here and here) and Kikibats (Twitter, here) said Ch. 322 scene was paralleled, and I'm kinda relieved— I thought I was brainrotting the parallels. So I'm just repeating them rn:

Scarred right side, the "regretful murderer" facing a grieving Spinner vs. the intact left side, the "child soldier young hero" bearing too much, listening as an apology for Spinner? From stranger danger to a connection no one else has. And then they stop facing each other when Spinner breaks down from how much Tomura meant to him as his first friend, hero and hope, something Izuku only saw a glimpse of!? (likely foreshadowing Izuku's own emotions yet to burst) Damn that was good. (I hate the scar but that was a good use I gotta admit)

(Parallels of fanboys with identity issues following someone like them, seeing them as their heroes, and when they died, lost control of themselves and their Quirks and now they're lost as to what to do next?! Being a Spinneraki shipper paid off in a way I didn't expect but should've.)

(Also every duo that has "My Hero/Hope/Light" is romantically canon I do not make the rules take it up with Horikoshi- /j)

Izuku's repressing for taking Spinner's grief and letting him manhandle him (really, just Spinner doing the equivalent of grabbing him by the collar and breaking down, but angst's angst). Taking a step further: Ch. 118, Someone wanted to fight and be punished for something that wasn't on them, after weeks of hiding their guilt. Time for Someone to be there 'cause Izuku ain't handling it alone. And I miss emotional Izuku I want him back, but His Trauma Also Has Hands.

Spinner writing a book to spread Tomura's gospel and Izuku suggesting to make it a comic makes sense; Quirk Singularity/Meta Liberation book (as he narrated the My Villain Academia Arc) vs. the OFA/AFO conflict that started through comics Toshinori, Yoichi and AFO read as kids. Those books were taken as bull or rewritten to fit the times/ideals, and only a select few read it. Comics would play into the reality-fantasy themes and reach the younger generation. Past doesn't die but if you don't let it haunt you it can be a lesson to take for the future. How would that be executed depends on how much Tenko is romanticized or sympathized with.

Izuku says he won't forget the LoV (and let's be honest, neither will Shoto, Ochako and Katsuki. And Iida, with luck) feels a little empty for now, so I'm betting on hindsight to see what he will do with this knowledge. After all, Izuku is (supposedly) the symbol of hope and the reality check everyone needs. It's still there, tangled in that trauma, the silly hero fanboy who's way too selfless, reckless and willing to fight for what he loves at the cost of himself. He just gotta let it sink; he doesn't have to hide and do it alone.

Waiting for Izuku to prove everyone wrong is just common sense :3

And the "Joki Joki" guy is being set-up to be either Tenko (ideal scenario) or someone who'll stand in as him (not-so-ideal in my opinion), and will definitely face the shunning from the civilians. They want to return to their fantasy, but consequences exist for a reason.

I'm convinced this is the beginning it was being referred to in 403: An era of reform for the world of BNHA. And it's part of the reason I am sold on the idea of a sequel; if that's the end of it, then that's a hell of a lead for a bittersweet/bleak ending for a story all about hope and bright futures. What does it mean to be a hero in a world that doesn't trust them anymore? Well, why not explore that?

Okay, with that out of the way. Overhaul. I don't care for him, so: he's pathetic, cry harder and maybe I'll feel bad, Izuku may hate him but still. Too kind to save him. His boss woke up to put him in his place (as if growing up in mafia didn't mess him up too. Joy /s.), too little too late, I hope Aizawa has official custody of Eri, otherwise she's gonna have to go back (adoption in Japan is only for 6yo and under so they can absorb them into their family. Eri is 7 so I hope she's staying with Aizawa). I'm sorry but. No.

After that, not many thoughts, but I see possible foreshadowing of Hawks bringing in more heroes, maybe a rehab for both villains and heroes? I hope so. (Izuku asked if he had that much power. I say: He should have. As a treat. :3333)

And as for the last page: Weird that it wasn't a Himichako cliffhanger but I guess it's because they'll be the last plot point of 428 and it'll lead up to "Joki Joki". I'm also expecting Hawks to be there, because of Twice.

And 2-A will be good role models, teaching 1st years blind worship is not good but that aside. Those fangirls better pack it up Shoto doesn't care (glad the family stuff didn't affect his school popularity) and if Katsuki isn't enjoying the attention then we got confirmation he swings for the other team- /hj

And with that, I finish this by saying: Fuck everyone who ignored Tenko, especially that hag who didn't help Tenko and led him to a hero or the police. She just had to drop him off with someone. It wasn't like he was gonna kill her back then as a traumatized 6yo fearing his own hands.

Thank you for reading!

[white-nolse]

Ok, I've never watched Violet Evergarden (no spoilers please), but my sister says that episode 10 is the best and everyone who has watched VE most likely has the same opinion, so...

We're both really curious about this poll's results, so please reblog for a bigger sample!

[meirimerens]

hello Meiri... It has come to my knowledge (saw your tweet about it. on the saturday account) that you at least in some way enjoy what I imagine is girl burakhovsky (burakhovskaya?), which led me to wonder... Do you ever think about girl peterstakh as well? (Petrastakh? I wouldn't even know.) And if you don't, why not? (Asking not because I feel like you should or anything, but just out of curiosity) / And if you do, well... thoughts? Please? what are the thoughts

good  #evening meirination and happy mabon... now... i'm an enjoyer of many things but before anything i'm a #consideror and i do consider woman burakhovsky (burakhovskaya) indeed (also mentioned it here for those. not in the know about the saturday account). i've seen a multitude of it around and while many iterations i kinda don't fuck wit personally because i don't think they'd be that feminine (sorry. butchakovskaya sweep i guess) it's in my brain. i'll say it is yes.

now petrastakh. you know yourself i have considered it. i'm considering it rn. between us and the 3,000 other people who might come across it i considered it yesterday even while writing notes on my phone.

now for the petrastakh, same as for the burakhovskaya, it's a matter of: the same but women now. petra is still as unhinged, still has unhinged of a sister who gets in her business, still sniffs out stanislava (grieving and mad) at the bar to tiptoe to her and be like Has anyone ever painted you. would you be interested in being painted [PSLR events]. stanislava still wants to be artemis' sister, or artemis herself, and have her place as a doctor in this town. etc. petra still killed or had her sister kill an architectural rival (sad! well there will be other architects). petra still came back from being taken by the army to stanislava's apartment naked and covered in blood (if you in the saturday account. you've seen this scene).

you know this?

^ i've used it for peter. made it say "all architects are bi [...]". well know that's petra. no need to change anything. also she still has her unibrow and her plunging V neckline shirts. i know how stanislava feels. i've been here.

now. now listen. i know stanislava has her problems & issues and i think she's shy (not in a 🥺😔👉👈 way. but in a 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍 way) about being painted. now peterstakh? the normalverse ones? rubin gets painted naked. right. no he does. i'm writing it. he's shy (in the 🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍 way) about it. but then he discovers a whole new world of. shan't even say. relating to oneself and to another. that happens to stanislava. no it does. i'm seeing it.

not many thoughts rn. except this one.

this is how petra stares at stasia while she waits for her to sit comfortably so she can talk to her about gustave courbet's L'Origine Du Monde :

[tassaonkaikki]

HASBEEN (2018-2019) K1, J1: Niklas

[bylertruther]

smth abt eddie telling dustin to look after the little sheep -> s5 is going to return to s1 form -> dustin tells mike in s1 that his obliviousness blows his mind -> the whole painting & confession & obvious general fiasco that is willelmike -> dustin's going to have to put on his bob the builder / "the world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes" sherlock holmes hat and get involved

[baldinar]

skyler does grand chase digimon lines finally (part 1)

decided to do some digimon lines for the grand chase characters, starting off with the sword wielding folks (mainly swords, specifically)

sieghart, elesis, uno, ronan, edel, and zero (bear in mind i'm working off of what i actually am able to access in our system about this series rn lol, but i thought of this because i got smacked in the face with an idea for lines for sieghart and uno)

i want to note that while a lot of ref book entry stuff is why i picked some of these digimon, i also like the idea that any digimon can be companionable, so i think that in a digimon setting, even the more "violent" digimon partners would be capable of becoming close with their GC partners. a huge thing in digimon is how the emotional state of the human partner (in this case, humanoid) affects a digimon's evolution and stability. soooo yeah.

lines explained under the cut (SUPER DUPER LONG). some liberties taken with these lines because i couldn't make them line up perfectly but i did want some little through lines here and there.

sieghart: spadamon -> leomon (x-antibody) -> crescemon -> ancientgarurumon -> chaosmon (valdur arm)

like i said, this line along with uno's line are kind of the first i put together for this post. you're gonna need to follow with me a bit here, because this line might look like nonsense.

spadamon was chosen because, to me, it's the most go-to "rookie with a sword" there is. digimon like kotemon exist, yes, but spadamon is a member of the legend arms, which are digimon that can literally turn into weapons that other digimon can wield. spadamon's also almost always seen in a position where it's learning from another more experienced digimon. i think this parallel, alongside it being a digimon with a sword, really, makes it a good fit for sieghart as a partner. sieghart's whole deal is that when he got found by the highlanders, they taught him a whole bunch about their techniques and that's how he gained immortality. i think it's only fitting to give him a partner digimon who's associated with being already quite skilled, but needing to learn more.

leomon (x antibody) was chosen partially because i think leomon x antibody objectively rips since it wholly owns the idea of "guts from berserk's fursona) but also like. look at its ref book entry for the effect the x-antibody had on its core: "In order to defeat more fiendish Digimon to enforce its justice, it has mastered swordsmanship through intense training in addition to physical training. It freely handles the longsword "Jūga-maru" and the magical sword "Shishiou-maru", which are said to have sharpened more through countless battles, by dual wielding them, so it is definitely a "Beast Gladiator". Since its red cape was obtained when it confronted an Ultimate Digimon, it is said to be the proof of a hero."

i couldn't NOT pick the digimon literally called "Beast Gladiator." also, the decision to use x-antibody here was inspired further by the fact that the x-antibody is associated with "cheating death" in a way by becoming stronger. in other words, like sieghart, by becoming stronger in combat, leomon refused to die.

crescemon is kind of on here because i thought including one little nod to the soluna would be kind of nice. i couldn't find an ultimate i liked more, either, and crescemon is another dual-wielding digimon. while the aesthetic and ref book entries might better fit others in the chase, i also think crescemon is a good bridge between leomon (x-anti) and ancientgarurumon.

ancientgarurumon was picked for a few reasons. in part, it's the ancient warrior of light (the "sol" to crescemon's "luna," if you will). that ancient warrior thing also means that it's a digimon who is mythologized (like sieghart). its weapons of choice are also, again, swords!! another dual wielding sword user! (sieghart has like three jobs that dual wield, this was so easy to gravitate towards)

and of course, chaosmon valdur arm (VA). i chose this because it's reminiscent of omnimon (one of the many mascots of digimon), and also both extremely powerful and unstable. but also, hehe, leomon head for a sword pommel. bringing the champion back in (even if it is through bancholeomon being part of chaosmon's components). VA was chosen over regular chaosmon because i wanted to further the light theme of ancientgarurumon, rather than use darkdramon (the regular variant of chaosmon). also, chaosmon's instability works as a parallel to sieghart's rage mode; chaosmon is a digimon that can barely exist, and will either break apart or die quickly.

elesis: hackmon -> leomon -> grademon -> shinegreymon -> shinegreymon burst mode

this was a fun line!

hackmon was chosen because, similar to spadamon, it often takes a mentee role to another digimon, a member of the royal knights (gankoomon). hackmon also, however, oftentimes becomes a member of the royal knights as well. this connection to them was chosen over just using the whole hackmon line partially because elesis has some family clout, and also partially because i wanted to include a more diverse line than the hackmon -> JESmon line. also, while gankoomon may be primarily a fist-fighter, i think having a digimon partner with pre-established relationships to another as a mentee parallels nicely with elesis initially traveling in search of her father, who trained her in the way of the sword.

leomon was chosen in reference to sieghart's line, as well as the fact that in GCDC, elesis's pet is a lion. leomon is known for using hand to hand combat, but it also wields a sword like its x-antibody counterpart! and its physical combat moves are associated with fire, much like many of elesis's skills!

grademon was chosen to bridge the gap between leomon and shinegreymon. grademon is another dual wielding sword digimon! but also, its skills are said to surpass that of lordknightmon (a royal knight), bringing it back around to why i picked hackmon in the first place.

shinegreymon was chosen for a few reasons that aren't as obvious when seeing its ref book entry. it's the mega level of another agumon (one of digimon's mascots), so fitting in with the fact that elesis is kind of the face of GC, i picked it to fill that role in her digimon's line. however! shinegreymon also has a sword (it's just not visible in its ref book entry). while this sword isn't exactly like any of elesis's weapons in the game, i think the combination of having a sword, being associated with fire, and also being part of the family of digimon associated with playing a role as mascot to the franchise, makes it a good pick.

for mega+, i figured nothing better would fit than shinegreymon burst mode, as it really just dials up everything about shinegreymon. not much to say with this pick, it just makes sense since i gave elesis shinegreymon.

uno: gammamon -> duskmon -> oboromon -> tactimon -> omnimon zwart defeat

this alongside sieghart's line was the first one i had an idea for. i wanted to focus on the fact that uno, somewhat like elesis, has a relationship with sieghart (thanks to being made out of highlander blood). also, i wanted to highlight the difference in how uno's swordplay works versus the others in the series, so oboromon and tactimon are meant to help elicit that difference in style.

gammamon is a digimon associated with the GRB virus in lore, which is something he utilizes in the ghost game anime when gulusgammamon fronts. the choice for gammamon as uno's rookie is explicitly due to the fact that uno is known for losing control to his bloodlust in what little canon we've seen of him in GC.

the choice for duskmon here calls back to sieghart's line. beowulfmon is the ancient warrior of light in digimon lore, and duskmon is the corrupted human spirit of darkness. in frontier, the wielders of light and dark were twins, and duskmon in particular is associated with the leomon line thanks to both darkness evolutions purifying into leomon-adjacent digimon (lowemon and kaiserleomon respectively). this reinforces the tie that uno's line has to sieghart's twofold--- through darkness and light, and through the connection to leomon.

oboromon was chosen primarily due to a lack of other fitting digimon at the ultimate level. however, its reference book entry still fits thematically with this line, emphasizing that oboromon is a digimon who "has an unusually intense obsession with victory is because it has taken in a large amount of hatred data from the Digimon it has defeated."

at the mega level, we have tactimon, who wields a sword that it doesn't even draw from its sheath: "If it stabs the ground once it generates an earthquake, if twice it awakens one hundred dead warriors, and if thrice it collapses the surrounding land with a shock wave." in xros wars, tactimon is comprised of countless digimon who died in battle with extreme regrets and hatred in their hearts.

finally, we have omnimon zwart defeat. i'll just share this sample from its ref book entry: "The raging virus program and lingering vaccine program within its body clash with each other, causing it to become unstable, and so its wounded body continues to run wild and tire without ever recovering. Occasionally, it will restrict using both of its weapons in order to suppress any damage the instant the vaccine program pushes back and it regains its sense of self."

part of the reason i chose omni zwart d is because of its ref book entry, but i also chose an omnimon variant due to the fact that sieghart's mega+ digimon, chaosmon VA, is a variant of chaosmon (duh), which is a digimon that has a similar build to omnimon (i would wager it was designed after it in the first place). by picking an omnimon variant to parallel sieghart's chaosmon VA, i wanted to tie uno's line with his still.

ronan: rurimon -> wizardmon -> mistymon -> dynasmon -> ragnalordmon

this is almost beat for beat a stereotypical dynasmon line but i don't care, it fits ronan really well lmao. i wanted to lean into a mixture of magic and swordplay with this line.

rurimon was chosen as the rookie because it's visibly similar to agumon--- almost like a witchelny variant of agumon (witchelny is the place where a lot of magical digimon come from). ronan, as one of the first characters in the game to use swords after elesis, almost feels like a "variant" of her gameplay introduced, so i thought it would be a neat callback to ronan being among the first new swordsman characters introduced to GC by using a variant of digimon's own "mascot" (agumon is only one of them, as digimon actually has a lot). i debated using rurimon for mari, but i think i have some interesting ideas for lines for her, so i'm okay using rurimon here.

wizardmon continues the magical aspect of the line, mostly because there are very few champion level digimon that i think would fit ronan here. the mixture of different elemental magics is especially nice, and while this might limit what i'm able to use for arme's line when i do the spellcasters, i do think wizardmon fits nicely into this line.

mistymon is kind of a no-brainer--- another witchelny digimon, mistymon gets a sword and a crystal ball! who else has a sword and a little crystal thing that they fight with? that's right, ronan! mistymon fights differently with his crystal ball, but like. come on. how could i not pick the digimon whose whole deal is literally magic and swords?

dynasmon was picked because i thought using a royal knight would be a nice way to tie together ronan's relationship to noble status. dynasmon was picked because ronan also has a whole job that focuses on dragons, and what is dynasmon? a big fucking dragon that's also part of the royal knights. i didn't go with examon here mostly because dynasmon fit the line better and dynasmon also has the crystals in his palm. examon is cool, and would also fit, but again: dynasmon fits this line a little better imo, and examon is often classified a level higher than mega. dynasmon is also a digimon that has been placed in an antagonistic role before. why would i specify this here? well, who do we know that got possessed for a while and put into an antagonistic role? yup.

finally, ragnalordmon was chosen because it is the fusion between durandamon and bryweludramon. both are legend arms digimon (like spadamon in sieg's line). it's a fighter that uses both a sword and a shield (the transformed durandamon and bryweludramon). and! and! you know what bryweludramon is? A GIANT DRAGON MADE OF SHIELDS. you can't tell me that doesn't go hard as hell. only reason i didn't use bryweludramon is because i wanted the RK member for ronan's mega, but you still get to see it as ragnalordmon's sentient floating shield. i love digimon.

edel: lunamon -> sistermon (ciel) -> sistermon (ciel) awakened -> hexeblaumon -> omnimon merciful mode

i'm not gonna lie, this line kind of made itself like ronan's.

lunamon was chosen not with relation to crescemon in sieghart's line, but because edel is associated with the moon through a lot of her attacks. like edel, lunamon also utilizes ice/water in its attacks. (ice and water are really the same thing in most digimon games, as they share the same attribute)

sistermon (ciel) was chosen because we have a very "proper" appearing digimon that wields a sword and guns. i was a little bit limited with what i could work with here, as digimon really doesn't have many mons that use a rapier like edel. this, however, feels like a fitting choice for edel, especially thanks to her family's tie with divinity.

i chose to use ciel awakened as the ultimate here despite it usually being classified as a champion, because fuck you bandai. it really works as an ultimate level, considering how different regular and awakened look, so i'm using it as an ultimate. while i can say this plays into how edel's gameplay works, it's also a pick of convenience. that said: edel being one of few AMP characters that don't have separate jobs, but rather special classes, parallels nicely with ciel awakened usually being classified as the same level as normal ciel. more of a fun coincidence than anything.

with hexeblaumon, we reintroduce the ice theme back into edel's partner line. and we also reintroduce witchelny! because edel is from a part of the world associated with magic, but uses swordplay! hexeblaumon is depicted in its ref art as using a sword, but all of its weaponry is actually crafted from its ice magic. imo the sword in its ref book art looks the closest to a rapier we really get in digimon (aside from gladimon, who i was not going to put in this line much as i love it).

zero: arcadimon (child) -> shademon -> dexdorugreymon -> darkknightmon (x antibody) -> dexmon

i had a little bit of fun with this line, and it looks like nonsense to anyone that isn't me, but bear with me.

arcadimon is a digimon whose whole deal is that it can absorb data from other digimon and incorporate it into its evolution. i didn't want to use the whole line, but i figure using the rookie form fits here because zero's whole gameplay style centers around using the techniques of others in his own way. plus, zero is able to utilize grandark to absorb energy from his enemies. like, you can't not give the digimon whose first sentence in its ref entry is "A cursed Digimon artificially created based on the data of various Digimon" to zero, the artificial demon created based on the techniques of other fighters and using another demon's core.

shademon was chosen because, to quote its ref book entry, it is "A Digimon with no substance that haunts the shadows of humans and Digimon." i figured it would be a good reference to grandark, and the way it can possess zero during domination mode. inadvertently, this also works as a reference to how zero functions as a tank in GCDC, as shademon has a move that manipulates other digimon into attacking whatever it's in the shadow of.

dexdorugreymon. AGAIN, OKAY, LET ME COOK, I PROMISE THIS MAKES SENSE. so, x antibody digimon, as we established talking about sieghart's leomon, are associated with death and escaping it through strength. dexdorugreymon was chosen here as a reference both to the fact that zero is made using the core of a dead ancient demon, and also because it is essentially driven by instinct (much like zero in the lead up to grandark functionally possessing him).

darkknightmon (x antibody) was then chosen because it is a digimon comprised of two digimon who achieved a stronger form thanks to cooperation, rather than domination. dexdorugreymon works really nicely as an ultimate to this digimon, because it gives zero's digimon an excuse to have and maintain the x-antibody, in this case manifesting as a digimon that would, without it, be only an ultimate level, rather than mega. its weaponry doesn't entirely line up with zero's, nor the traits described by its ref book entry, but i think the idea of zero's mega level digimon being one that is comprised of two is befitting for a character whose whole arc revolves around finding himself and learning to live as someone inextricably tied to a living weapon.

finally, dexmon was chosen to tie the line together because it calls back to dexdorugreymon and also, again, that idea of the x-antibody subverting death. also, according to its ref book entry, "this type of program cannot be classified as a Digimon, and although it appears solid, it has no actual substance." in other words, this also ties back to the artificiality of zero, whose identity as a demon is complicated by his crafted status.

[momentomori24]

I like to headcanon Shin as a hardcore atheist (complete opposite of Hiyori who's a very religious person). He can't see himself believing in a higher power, not when his plights and tragedies and suffering were always met with indifference by whatever higher power may exist. But not by Sou Hiyori-- his guardian angel all throughout high school. His protector and his tormentor. His saviour and his captor. Someone he devoutly followed for years after having found him. Someone he looks up to; someone superior (always "Hiyori" while he's still "Shin", never his equal). Someone whose teachings he takes to heart and lives by. Someone he seeks out instinctively in his hour of desperation and need. Someone whose hand-me-down he wears dutifully around his neck to keep him close at all times. Someone who will praise him for his obedience and dependency and punish him for his defiance and independence. Someone he loves and respects and fears all at once. The moon can't shine without the sun, and Hiyori all but shone upon him when he couldn't find the light within himself. Shin doesn't believe in God, but loving Hiyori is the closest he's ever gotten to religion. I think it's poetic, in a way.