#but i dont think ill be able to wait to draw and then post everyone at once 😭

[todayisafridaynight]

lit cannot stress how much fuckability masato lost after becoming aoki like emo death is real and its so so tragic

[orgonongurlz]

drew some grimrose pride outfits :3

planning on doing more with the rest of my wholesome squad guys (si au) giggles

i love these girls!!

[choccy-milky]

A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.

Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.

If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.

OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭

@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot

brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like

its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖

@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖

THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)

[sningo-prompts]

Something slightly less angsty: Maybe Ingo and Emmet's pokemon can see how a lot of humans look at Ingo, and they decide to help him learn how to use moves to defend himself better.

Excadrill and archeops can show him how to use his claws properly. Excadrill knows poison jab, and at least three others have various other poison moves, so they can show him how to use his in an actual attack. Gurdurr can help with fighting type moves, and nearly all of them should be able to help him with the basics, like quick attack.

He's not going to become some master battler in the span of only a few weeks, but at least he wont be entirely defenseless in a one on one anymore.

Ok i have been dying to make another post tonight but im gonna apologise now. I actually uhh dont know their full teams and i hardly know anything about pokemon at all. So this isnt going to be the best. Like i wont be able to make a lost of the moves he uses or anything. Ill do my best for you though <3 since all anons are my children and i love them.

So maybe Emmet takes to having one of their team always out with Ingo after a while. He isnt an idiot he can too see how people eye Ingo and he hates it. His pokemon though they can see it even clearer since they know how humans normally look at them. It puts whoever is out with Ingo on edge most of the time. Maybe one day while Ingo and Emmet are out at uhh pokemon park? Like a dog park? Their pokemon come up with the idea of teaching Ingo some moves to defend himself. I wanna say they are all huddled up together discussing it. Ingo isnt gonna be with them because hes chillin with Emmet. So its like a surprise in a way. They are all very eager to help their trainer. They decided to let Ingo pick what moves he should learn since he and Emmet picked all of theirs. So now all they have left is figuring out how to bring it up. They agree Chandelure should ask since they have been with him the longest.

Ingo is hesitant at first but they make a great point on him needing to be able to defend himself so he agrees. They are very excited. I think they do this while at the station maybe. Emmet is 100% gonna watch so while hes waiting on the next battle all of a sudden on of their pokemon are out and chittering away with Ingo. Emmet is very much so not jealous thank you. Emmet is of course curious about what they are planning. Maybe hes worried when he sees the first attack but since its not directed at Ingo hes ok. That is until Ingo copies them and does the attack himself. Now Emmet is very excited. Watching tentatively as Ingo learns a move. Its slow going at first but Ingo is a quick learner and soon enough hes got his moveset. They are all so excited that they wanna have a mock battle with him. Hes a bit excited too so he agrees. To test his new moves out. Emmet was verrry worried when an attack was directed right at Ingo but thanks to his time in Hisui Ingo is fantastic at dodging. Its a fun battle though everyone is holding back. They dont wanna hurt Ingo and he surely doesnt want to hurt them. So its mostly just play fighting. Everyone freezes when Emmet cheers at their battle. Of course it doesnt last long as one of them finally managed to land an attack on Ingo. Who just jumps up and the battle is back on. The air is filled with laughter as they taunt one another. Emmet is so happy to see his brother having so much fun along with their team. Yes he to wishes to join the fun but hes a bit big for that. Though maybe w sense Emmet wants to join in and all tackle him down. Its a full in dog pile. They all have a great time wrestling with Emmet too. That is until the next trainer comes in to find Emmet on the ground swarmed by his own pokemon. (I kinda wanna draw that shot) everyone just freezes in place while Emmet and the trainer make eye contact. Its Ingo who starts laughing (i wanted to say giggling but its not right. Almost like hes trying to conceal his laughter) that breaks the awkward silence. Quickly everyone gets up and returns, minus Ingo who takes a seat behind Emmet, while Emmet dusts himself off and straitens his hat. He starts his speech as if the trainer hadnt just seen him on the ground playing with his pokemon like a school kid. All in all weird day for that person. I think Emmet is hard to embarrass tbh so he just moves past it and acts like nothing happened.

Later Ingo and Emmet optimism Ingos move set im sure. Also Ingo gets to battle Emmet with his own team again. I like the idea that Ingos first time battling again is at that welcome back party the staff threw so this isnt the first. Though hes way better at battling now than before since hes got a better understand on how it feels to use those moves. He can even train his own team better ways to dodge. I dont think Emmet would be very ok with Ingo being in the battle but maybe down the line on of his pokemon want to try and lead so he joins their party. Which is super cute. Because now Ingo is giving tips to his own pokemon on leading other pokemon in battle. Now they have a whole buch of pokemon who can lead a battle instead of a trainer. Lord help the public if they ever do this on the subway. Their pokemon dint know the meaning of holding back.

Ok sorry i think this got very sidetracked since i cant remember the ask anymore. I hope you dont mind i didnt call off any of their pokemon by name since i uhhh cant remember them. I know chandelure but thats because i loved Litwick and all its evolutions the moment i saw them. Its funny that Chandelure ended up being my fav pokemon and being Ingos ace. Probably why i like him so much. I have no idea what game they released in but it was like love at first sight. The moment i saw their evolution line i fell. Plus litwick is baby <3

[worminstuff]

Maybe all of their reactions to one of their student's having an anxiety attack possibly because they're falling behind on work and panicking or their class gets too loud. I was wondering as well if i could be Cloud Anon? (If you do name Anons that is)

|| I don’t think I can do all of them because that was genuinely take so long, (the short blurb one was almost 4K words) so I’m gonna do a few, I hope that’s okay. And I do do name anons but it’s been a really long time since anons sent anons like that, but I do! I don’t remember all of the ones there are but, ill try to make a post or something ||

Mr.Blade, Mr.wastaken, and Mr.Jacbobs helping student!reader with panic attacks!

Warnings: panic attacks, anxiety

Word count: I dunno

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Mr.Wastaken

Mr.Wastaken sits in his class for about an hour after school ends so if anyone needs extra help they can come sit with him and he’ll do homework with them. Even when it’s not math work too.

Today he was sitting with y/n, one of his students in his third period class.

The cringe worthy noise of Mr.Wastakens chair sliding towards the desk y/n was at made them close their eyes.

“I know ,I’m sorry, should’ve just picked it up and moved it.” He offered them a smile, expecting the sweet smile that y/n usually would return but they didn’t smile.

Dream paused. That’s strange. He thought, but he didn’t bring it up.

“So we’re working on some quiz corrections right?” He asked, they nodded, “easy peasy, no big deal. Which ones gave you trouble?”

Y/n explained their trouble with certain ones, their voice quiet and shaky. Y/n hadn’t looked him in the eyes yet, which he noticed. Their eyes were trained on the paper.

Dream started to explain one of the problems they pointed out, drawing a little explaination beside it. He quickly stopped when he heard a small sniffle.

He looked back up at y/n seeing they paced a arm over their eyes. His brows furrowed, he quickly became worried.

“Hey, hey,” he placed a gentle hand on their shoulder, “what’s going on?” He figured it probably wasn’t just the math on the desk in front of them.

Y/n sniffled again before replying, “I just- there’s so much work due and I can’t bring myself to do it cause there’s so- so much and and” their voice was shaky as y/n pulled their arm from their face. Under their eyes were wet, stained from the smooshed tears.

“Oh kiddo..I get that. How about I exempt this grade, actually I’ll just put it at a 100 since we’re moving on to a new unit, and we work on something else maybe?” He offered another smile, this one more comforting. “And we can go steal some snacks from Mr.Dudes room too.”

Y/n nodded, “thank you.” Their voice was still soft but less sad. Dreams heart melted.

“Dont sweat it kiddo, and if it gets like this again, please let me know. I don’t mind hanging out with you after school so we can do this whenever you need. I’ve got your back, kid.”

Dream hated seeing his kiddos upset, he would always do anything for them.

^^^^^^

Mr.Blade

There was a new student in Mr.Blades class. they were new to the whole school too but Mr.Minecraft put Mr.Blade as their home room teacher.

The reason Mr.Minecraft did so, unknowing to Mr.Blade was because this student was super anxious being new, and he thought techno would deal with this well.

Mr.Blade didnt usually have a home room class, it was usually his free period. So this ment y/n and him were alone each morning.

This freaked y/n out because obviously she didn’t know him, and he came off as very...scary.

Mr.Blade didnt realize they found him scary until about a week in to them being in his class.

He noticed multiple things. y/n never looked him in the eyes, they never asked for anything, and they were always jittery. This particular morning, it seemed ten times worse.

“Are you okay there?” he tried to soften his tone, he really didn’t want them to be afraid of him.

Y/n only nodded, but their eyes screwed tight for a moment before looking back to their computer. They’d been staring at it for a while now, silently shaking and ringing their hands.

Mr.Blade was well aware of the wordless lie so he stood from his desk and made his way over. He squatted down and placed his arms on the edge of their desk, resting his head on them.

He waited a moment, thinking they’d close the computer. They didn’t.

slowly, he placed his hand on it and slowly closed it. He waited a bit longer, letting y/n calm down a tad by themself before he said anything.

“What’s going on, kid?” he tried to look into y/n’s eyes but they were closed. “Can you look at me? I’m not angry, i’m not gonna yell or anything.”

Y/n opened their eyes slowly but surely, and Technos hesrt just about shattered.

He didn’t often get soft over his students but the pools of tears in y/ns eyes made even his cold heart ache.

He waited a moment, giving them a moment to breathe and see he wasn’t a threat or anything.

“Stressed.” Y/n said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Yeah? How come? What’s stressing you out?”

Y/n explained how much they didn’t like being new and having to be caught up in classes was really stressing them out.

Mr.Blade quickly understood, and sympathized.

He helped y/n make a little planner, and even drew little drawings on it to make it more fun. Once they had a planner, both made a plan together so the work load didn’t seem so much.

Afterwords he even called some of y/ns teachers to see if they could accommodate in any way. He even offered to teach the materials to them in their free period, as long as y/n didn’t have to turn them in as assignments or anything.

They agreed of course.

^^^^^^^

Mr.Jacobs

Mr. Jacobs classes were often hectic. That was sorta his nature and the students just followed in his footsteps.

Usually it wasn’t a problem because karl was able to keep it from getting too out of hand, but today everyone seemed a bit to energized to want to listen.

They were working on a map project so they were working and talking with friends and just being sort of wild.

Karl noticed quickly, one of his students y/n, was getting a bit overwhelmed by it.

“Hey, hi, hey, what’s going on?” He stood so his back was facing most of the class, and y/n was in front of him.

Y/n was shaky, and looked visibly nervous.

“S’ just a bit loud.” Y/n said, offering a small smile. y/n was internally screaming. Thought they were good at hiding it, they were moments from snapping and curling into a ball hoping for some quiet so the feeling of impending doom would end.

Karl nodded, he read her like a book and instantly understood.

“Can i give you a hug, kiddo?” He asked, his head tilted in parental like worry. Y/n nodded and he leaned down to give her a quick hug before standing back up to go back to the front of the class.

He gave her two thumbs up. Then whistled loudly, getting everyone’s attention.

“Quiet game! Whoever wins gets forty five dollars. That’s right. Forty buckeroos. “

The class was instantly silent. Y/n’s shoulders relaxed, and she shot karl a thankful smile. He ruturned one similar.

[ddaenggtan]

forever rain | knj | m

Being dead isn't anything exciting. Just a lot of walking the same halls of the same apartment day after day after day. Things change when the new tennant arrives, though. Kim Namjoon isn't anything you could have expected; not the way he's so careful and gentle with his plants because he breaks so many other things, not the way his friends joke that he's psychic because you refuse to let him get in the face one time, and certainly not the way he comes home after literal months spent moving things away from table edges for him and announces that he knows he's being haunted and he has some questions for you. You didn't know ghosts could fall in love, but he makes you feel alive again, like you're standing in the rain while thunder crashes around you. You should've known nothing good would come of falling in love with someone living, though. You should've known that heartbreak was the only way this could end...that the rain doesn't last forever. 

part of the Love Yourself Collab, please please please go check out the other fics. Everyone involved is so freaking talented and I have been vibrating out of my skin with how excited I’ve been to read all of these. 

pairing | kim namjoon x reader (unspecified gender, even!)

word count | 18.8k | cross posted to ao3

genre/warnings | ghost!reader, slight fluff, hard angst, literally the most angst ever it gets fluffy for a bit but litERALLY this is an angst fic, major character death, unprotected sex (idk what the etiquette for ghost sex is but you should still wrap it before you tap it fam), depictions of terminal illness (v mild), mentions of blood (several, but not graphic), major character death, allusions to violence, namjoon is a klutz whats new, depictions of terminal illness, major character death, i added that tag three times pls dont read this if you aren’t comf with mcd bc i literally tagged it three times so y’all would definitely see it, also probably have some tissues ready bc i cried while writing it so 

a/n | this is, to date, the saddest thing i have ever written in my entire fucking life. formal apologies to this joon bc oh my god you poor soul. i’m not kidding when i say you might cry, because i’m a big baby wuss and cried while writing the fucking outline when i first decided to write this for the collab so like......rip my own heart. i was really honored when i was approached about the LYA collab, bc like,,,,,mE? WHAT? and i was really nervous because i’ve never been part of any collabs in any fandom ever, and to have to do something like forever rain and mono as a whole justice, like,,,,,,, *screaming* y’know?? so i went on mono lockdown and just had the whole thing on repeat and was like “alright. what emotions does this make me feel.” and i eventually settled on the loneliness and isolation that he expresses, and feeling like no one understands what you’re going through, but that ultimately the album as a whole and forever rain give off this feeling of like. things get better, you’re not as alone as you feel, and you just gotta get through the bad stuff to find the good stuff. basically i just got really in my feels about it and was like ‘lets make myself cry ahahaha’ and,,,i dID i cried several times while planning and writing and editing bc im a Soft Bitch and don’t read much angst for that exact reason lmao. so buckle tf up y’all, this a helluva ride!! 

Of all the things you'd heard about death, all the different possibilities that existed in the world, the one thing you hadn't been prepared for was the boredom. You hadn't been prepared for any of it, really, too surprised by your own demise to plan at all, but even if you'd been able to, you don't think that this is what you would've counted on. An eternity - or however long ghosts existed - of being stuck in the same studio apartment you'd lived in when you died. The same walls, the same floor, the same view out the only window of the alley beside the building. It's boring and lonely and boring.

You've found more creative ways to entertain yourself as time passes. First, you started by figuring out just what being a ghost meant. You can't really communicate with anyone, haven't figured out how to make sure everything you say is heard, but you can manipulate objects pretty easily these days. The most difficult thing is becoming fully corporeal - completely visible and able to interact with things at the same time. It's hard enough to be visible, and you aren't really sure what the point of it would be when it would just scare whoever's living in your apartment; that's the last thing you want to do, run them off when they're the best source of amusement you've found.

You won't lie, you were a little offended when the first tenants moved in after you. It was difficult to watch your things get packed up and moved out by your friends, hard to lose all of the little things you loved in your apartment, like the shitty bead curtain you'd gotten as a gag gift or the photo collage of all of your loved ones. It's frustrating to not know how they're all doing these days; the one time you got brave enough to fuck with a laptop to check on them, you nearly broke the thing, and you haven't tried since. Still, it seemed cathartic for them to clear out your apartment, and it was a bittersweet sight, but you tried to focus on the positive side of it.

And then the couple moved in.

Not only did they fuck like rabbits - which is something you're going to stay pissed about, because there's no satisfaction to be had by you anymore, and it's the one thing you can think of that would be endlessly entertaining - but the couple was also grossly obnoxious. They had zero respect for your apartment , or you, and while one could argue that they didn't actually know you were there, it still made the sting of losing your entire life that much worse. You spent you don't know how many nights hovering awkwardly in the bathroom while they fucked, would constantly wander in to see them going at it on the kitchen counter at ass o'clock in the morning, and once you came in to see them tossing actual literal eggs at the ceiling like the absolute fucking weirdos they were.

So, naturally, you got a little mad. How dare they treat your apartment like that? They had no respect, but they were going to learn it real quick if they were going to live there with you, whether they wanted to or not.

They didn't last long after the first night of slamming cabinets and squealing hinges, but the thrown picture frame of their family was the conclusive end to their stay.

There have been others, since then. They haven't all been terrible, not like that first couple, but most of them have been sub-par roommates, and if you decided early on that if the rest of your immortal life is going to be locked in one shitty apartment with the absolute worst view in the city - because no one wants to see the drunken hookups and potential body dumps that take place in that alley - then you're at least going to share said apartment with someone nice to exist with.

You release a heavy sigh, staring at where your hand disappears through the shower wall. You've taken to testing the boundaries of the apartment again; you already know what the result will be, learned in the first few hours that you're stuck here, but you can't help trying when you get really bored. You just got distracted fucking around with the pipes in the meantime, because you're literally too bored to even focus. It's part of why you miss the last tenants so much, because you weren't ever really bored with them around.

A single mother and her two kids, crammed into a much-too-small apartment because it was all they could afford, and they were the light of your un-life. One a budding teenager that wrote angsty poetry who loved your trick of making things float around, and one an adorable toddler who adored playing peekaboo with you and coloring, and a mom that was too busy to notice anything out of the ordinary. It was like having a family again, made you feel useful when you could pull the meat out of the freezer for her to make dinner with or scratch a quick 'do your homework' on a steamy bathroom mirror. It was fun and it made being dead that much more bearable.

You really should've known that letting the toddler draw the two of you would be a bad idea, especially since there were several artistic liberties taken. It's not your fault the kid thought you'd look cool with fangs and bloody holes instead of eyes and claws that reached the floor. It was art, it was supposed to be a little different from reality. Still, you can't blame her for seeing the picture of her kid and 'my new best friend' and immediately calling the landlord. And a priest.

So, perhaps you gave the apartment a bit of a reputation. Maybe it's been a couple of months since the mom moved out and took your two buds with her. There might be the possibility that you've been the slightest bit salty about losing your friends and you've been extra-ghost-y whenever someone comes by to view the place in an attempt to make yourself feel a little better. Can you really be blamed for that? You just want a decent damn roommate for your life after death, and if that means putting the potentials through a little bit of a test, then so be it. You only feel a little bit bad for the landlord.

The creak of the front door pulls you from your thoughts, and the echo of a voice makes you narrow your eyes. Your first instinct is to slam some windows to scare off whoever's in your apartment, but you repress the urge. You'd die of boredom if you could die again, and whoever this is could provide a few hours' entertainment at the least.

You pop your head through the bathroom wall to see what's going on, and wow , who let an actual giant into your apartment? Fucking with the pipes could definitely wait for this guy.

"I know it's last minute, yeah," He says into the phone that's held carefully between his cheek and shoulder. His arms are loaded down with boxes and he's angled away from you just enough that you can't see his face, but he's tall and broad and wearing what looks like the world's comfiest sweater, and you want to badly to wrap yourself up in him. "But you know Joon needs the help. Don't pretend you aren't constantly willing to put off your thesis, I know for a fact that you went out to look at stationery with Tae last week, and everyone knows that's the most boring thing on the planet."

He's quiet, listening to the soft crackle of a voice from the other end. You slide through the wall completely, hovering as close as you dare to try and hear what the other person is saying. Tall, Broad, and Comfy scoffs.

"He can stare at one sheet of paper for at least ten minutes, Yoongi. Do I need to remind you of the time he spent an entire fucking hour debating which set of holiday scrapbook to buy because, and I quote, 'this one has the really nice rose pattern on it that would look great with the invitations, but, oh, look at the pinstripes in this one!'" His voice morphs into what you guess is an approximation of whoever Tae is, and you laugh at the high-pitched, nasally tone.

Tall and Broad spins, eyes narrowing as he looks around the room, and fuck , he's literally gorgeous. You've never seen someone more attractive in your life or your death and it would probably knock the wind out of you if you actually had breath. Comfy McGorgeous turns back around and sets the stack of boxes in the corner, continuing his tirade about Tae and stationery while simultaneously trying to talk Yoongi into coming, you assume, to help Joon move. You don't know who any of these people are, but they're already proving to be the most entertaining bunch that's ever graced these walls.

The door to your apartment flies open, making both you and Boyfriend Material whip your head around.

"Christ, Jin, you couldn't hold the fucking door open for us?" Someone grunts. Beauty Von Softness - or, Jin, as you should probably refer to him - winces and strides over to do just that as two more guys stagger in with a couch suspended between them. The second they're in the door they drop it to the ground and flop onto it, panting and sweaty.

"Listen, I was busy trying to get our resident hermit out of his cave to help us carry some of this shit," Jin spits back. "And you all know what it's like getting him out and about."

"Did you tell him that there's pizza after we're done? Because I've found that food is the best motivator for him," the guy closest to the door says. His hair is soft-looking and long and you wish you could pet it.

The other guy, the one who cursed Jin out and has the softest pink hair you've ever seen, laughs. "Jeongguk, you always think the best motivator is food."

"Well, yeah, because it is."

"For you, maybe. Other people require actual rewards."

"But food is a reward," Jeongguk mutters into the fabric of the couch. Jin tsks and smacks As Yet Unnamed on the back of the head.

"You're lucky I hung up on him when you bombarded your way into this place, or he'd definitely not come help us," Jin says as he leans against the back of the couch.

Unnamed starts to say something else but is cut off by someone running straight into the end of the couch. They all shoot to their feet, spouting apologies as the three of them maneuver the couch into the apartment properly.

"Sorry, sorry, Jimin distracted us from properly finishing our job," Jeongguk says quickly. He looks to the stranger with a small apologetic smile, and you're pretty sure if it were humanly possible, there would be actual literal stars in his eyes.

"Oh, it's okay, Jeonggukkie. I should've been looking where I was going." New Challenger walks straight towards where you stand, and you realize seconds before it's too late that he is not aware there is a massive stack of boxes in his path. Instinctively, you shove them to the side with your foot. Tall And Oblivious sets his boxes down without any trouble, none the wiser about any of it, and the three near the couch are too busy bickering in hushed whispers to have noticed you doing anything.

The newcomer straightens and turns to look at them all with a bright smile, and you think you might actually see The Light in the way his cheeks dimple. If you thought the other three were beautiful - which they are, no doubt about that, you're seriously wondering why the hell a bunch of supermodels are moving stuff into your apartment - then this guy is easily an Actual Fucking God or something. His brown hair is soft and shiny, his smile is warmer than the sun, and you're fairly positive that for the first time since you died, you feel goosebumps along your arms.

"Seriously, Namjoon, we should've realized you'd be up soon. You stay, start unpacking while we go get the rest of the furniture." Jimin shoves Jeongguk out the door while he's speaking, ignoring the taller's complaints, and Jin just shakes his head at the sight.

"Yoongi'll be here soon, he's finishing up another draft of his thesis. Hobi and Tae are stopping to get the pizzas and then they'll be here, too." Jin's voice is calmer than it was Jimin and Jeongguk, more soothing, and it makes you curious. Not only because of the tone change, but because you know Hobi, he owns the building and is the one who rented you the apartment when you first moved in. One of your favorite things to do is scare him when he comes by to make sure everything’s ready for a viewing.

"What? No, I said I was gonna pay for pizzas!" Namjoon looks distinctly more upset about this than someone should over not having to pay for pizza, at least in your mind, and it only makes you more curious.

"Yeah, but you also just moved out of your old apartment because it was too expensive, and had like an hour to load everything into a truck, so you're gonna let their trust fund asses pay for pizzas. We're seven adult men, and Guk could eat an entire horse and still be hungry. I'm not letting you pay for that."

Silence hangs in the apartment for a while before Namjoon gives a soft thanks to Jin. They share a smile before Jin makes his way back out. You follow each step, shadowing him all the way to the door before you're stopped. You lean your entire body forward, struggling against the invisible barrier keeping you inside, and the force of it nearly slams you back into the wall when you sag in defeat.

You aren't sure why you try anymore, but you know yourself well enough to admit that you're not going to stop until you can at least make it to the hallway.

Whatever you expected Namjoon to be like as a roommate, however unknowing he is about the situation, you don't think you could've guessed what he's actually like.

Out of the seven boys you saw the day he moved in, he's the only one living there. Not a complete surprise, considering it's a studio apartment, but you remember when there were nine people living there at one point, and there was barely room for anyone to breathe even if it had been pretty consistently amusing. Still, for one person, he's got a ton of stuff, and it's a shock it all fits. His bed is massive and comfortable and the best place to lay during the day because it's shoved between the brick half-wall and the large windows that take up one wall. The area's supposed to be for a dining table, you think, but you'd had your bed there, too, and the familiarity is nice.

His couch is small and old but manages to fit five of them, and it's a pleasantly jarring difference from the coffee table that looks like - and might actually be - an old steamer trunk. The exposed brick wall you love holds his mounted TV, a feat that took Jeongguk and Yoongi a solid hour and a half because they kept stripping the screws, and it's got one of those 8-cubicle bookshelf things under it that stores a frankly obnoxious amount of books.

He's got mugs for days, an adorable if odd collection of figurines and mini-statues scattered around the apartment, a strange obsession with some reclaimed wood shelf he's got hanging above his bed, but the absolute highlight of it all is The Wall.

It took them three hours to get it installed and set up the way he wanted, between the placements and the thick wooden shelf they’re perched on with supports and a small safety bar along the edge to keep them from falling off, but along the entire windowed wall and partway after it turns the corner runs a long shelf absolutely covered in plants. There are some elsewhere, like the one he keeps hanging from the bathroom ceiling and the couple in the kitchen, but most are on The Wall. Each one is in its own special pot, each a unique color with a name painted carefully along it, and most of them look half-dead. They're all distinct and unique from each other and they all surely have different needs and ideal conditions, but you'd never guess because Namjoon is so wholly committed to them all. He takes time every day to water them and prune them if he needs to, he checks on them constantly. He even reinforced the safety bar for the ones that sit beside his bed, so there was less chance he'd accidentally knock them around while sleeping.

It's fascinating, watching him tend to them. He's so careful and gentle, with absolute precision in every moment. He cares for his plants the way some people would care for a pet or a child. He doesn’t believe any of them are past caring for, slowly nurses all of them back to health and frequently turns up with more he’s saved from some department store. The most endearing thing, though, you decide as you sit curled among the haphazard blankets of his bed and watch, is the talking. It's every day, for as long as it takes him to care for the plants, and it's the cutest thing in the world. He's talking to some succulent as you just stare at him, filling the comfortable silence of the apartment with his soft, soothing voice, and you wish he could hear you when you talk back to him.

"I know they mean well, but at some point, I've just gotta live my own life, y'know? I can't study something just because everyone expects me to, and I can't pursue some dream just because people think I'd be good at it. I've gotta do what's right for me, don't I?" His tone is positive and bright, a contrast to the gloomy sky that casts shadows across the apartment.

You float over, hovering beside him to look at the plant he's lovingly stroking with his thumb. It's in a pretty periwinkle pot, with the name 'Mang' painted in careful but shaky black handwriting. It's not your favorite - that's the one in the bathroom that hangs over its light blue bowl, a quickly scrawled 'Koya' on the bottom - but it seems to be one of Namjoon's personal favorites based on how often he talks to it specifically.

"I think it's nice you do things for yourself," You tell him. He doesn't react, unable to hear you, but it's nice to hear your own voice after so long. You slide one of the plants - Chim, in a small yellow bowl - to the side and away from his elbow, and he doesn't notice. "You know yourself better than they do. You should trust yourself."

He keeps mumbling to Mang, something about everyone following their own dreams and doing what they need over what people want or expect, when you lay your hand over his.

Thunder cracks through the sky and the first raindrops hits the window as your non-existent skin hits his, and it's the most real thing you've felt in a long time. It's as if the scent of ozone and electricity is in the apartment itself, crackling in your hair and filling your nose with the overpowering scent of the sweet summer rain. You can almost feel the water hit your skin, the way the wind whips at your hair, and it's so intoxicating that you almost miss the sharp inhale from the man beside you.

He's not looking at his plant when you look up, but instead at the window in front of the two of you. You glance at it, and for a fraction of a second, you can see yourself in the reflection. The glimpse has you jerking towards it before you can stop yourself, desperate to know if something has changed. You haven't seen your reflection since you died, not in the mirror or the window or the toaster, and maybe, just maybe, it means something's changed.

Your hand stops against the glass of the window as you reach forward. You can't feel the cool of it under your palm, but it's no less a barrier for you as it would be for Namjoon. Something in you breaks as you watch the raindrops race each other to the ground.

"Ah, I forgot the forecast called for rain today," he mutters, eyes focused on the lightning that streaks by. He doesn't react when your fist slams against the glass, nor when you let out the scream that's been building in you for however long it's been since you died. You're so close, not even a hair's breadth from feeling something new yet familiar for the first time in so long, and you can't. You're still stuck in these four walls, unable to even reach the air outside.

You just want to feel the rain again.

You move dejectedly away from the window, ignoring the way Namjoon shivers as you pass. The temperature in the apartment has dropped considerably, you think, between the storm and your own mood. You can't tell, really. You haven't felt warm or cold or hungry or anything since you died that isn't the oppressive loneliness of life after death.

A dry sob tears itself from your throat and you hurry to hide in the bathroom as Namjoon turns to look around him. He mumbles something you can't hear and after a few minutes, he returns to tending to his plants, leaving you to your tear-less cries in peace.

It becomes quickly apparent to you that Namjoon should really have a roommate, if only to save him from himself. It takes a few weeks for you to realize this, but luckily he seems to narrate his life as he goes through it - which is overwhelmingly adorable to you, and you refuse to acknowledge that - and that means that you hear it every time he goes, "Ah, Namjoon, be more careful next time," or "Oh, shoot, that's not, fuck, I gotta buy more eggs now." It's painful to watch, even for you, and at some point, you just couldn't take it anymore. No one else is around to help, but someone needs to you, and clearly the universe means for you to be that someone.

It's a full-time job, protecting him from himself. You've saved countless mugs, pushing them farther away from the edges of counters and tables, and been just in time to shove bowls or vases an inch over so that his elbows glide harmlessly past them. It's almost exhausting, if you could get tired you would, but it's worth it, you think, as you catch the bookshelf under the TV as it tilts. You slide it gently to the floor, glad that Namjoon is distracted by how close he came to losing a toe to notice.

Because that's the other thing about this tree of a man: he's the most oblivious person you've ever fucking seen. It doesn't matter what it is you do, whether it's bouncing his spray bottle of water so it doesn't break on the hard floor or shake the counters so that the knife he's about to drop on his fucking hand falls the other way, he doesn't see a single fucking thing. You'd think he was blind if he wasn't so attentive to the way his plants grow. He notices nothing and you're glad for it because you really aren't sure what he would do if he knew you were going around haunting him just to keep him alive. You just want to help, want to keep the soft smile he wears more often around for as long as possible.

You don't dare to look into why you want that, too afraid of what you might find there.

It's also just fun to watch him and his friends, relaxed and unreserved. You never had many friends when you were alive, just a small handful that you really truly loved and whom you miss every day. Watching these seven boys fills you with nostalgia and a strange sense of joy because they really are some of the funniest people you've ever been around.

Like now, with four of them sprawled on the couch while Jeongguk and Hoseok make themselves comfortable leaning against the bookshelf under the TV - which has been bolted to the wall since it almost broke Namjoon's foot - and Namjoon watches them all from his bed since it's the only other place to sit. There are beer bottles scattered around and decorating the half-wall that separates the bed from the room proper, everyone is varying levels of drunk, and you're curled up close to Namjoon, leaning against the wall so you can stop him from knocking over any of the bottles nearby because you know him too well at this point.

"I'm just saying, I don't understand why they made him so over-powered in the new movies, because he's supposed to be some kid from Brooklyn! Giving him the high-tech suit essentially strips him of the friendly neighborhood persona that he's always relied on!" Jeongguk has been ranting for a while about the newest release in the Spiderman franchise - apparently, he's part of the actual Avengers now, which is a shock to you since the last thing you heard before you died was that the franchise was canceled until further notice or something.

"And I'm saying that if they didn't give him the suit then it would've made no sense how he was able to do those things," Yoongi responds. You're pretty sure he's just arguing to be contrary at this point, because you remember him telling Namjoon the other day that he prefers DC over Marvel.

"Garfield's Spiderman could do those things," you mutter, "And he didn't have a fancy suit."

"Okay, then how do you explain Andrew Garfield's version being able to do that stuff? He doesn't need the suit, he never has!" You preen at the way Jeongguk echoes your thoughts. "I'm telling you, I don't care how good the relationship with Holland's Spidey and Iron Man is, by giving him the tech and the advancements they did, they've undermined everything that Spiderman is supposed to be about."

"Jeongguk come off it, everyone knows Garfield's Spidey was just all bad writing. I mean, what kind of person can do all that stuff, realistically? He's the one that really needed the Stark suit." Taehyung's voice is slurred and quiet, definitely as drunk as the rest of them. 

"What-! No! I could do half of that without being bitten by a weird science spider!" Jin scoffs at Jeongguk's words. 

"Yeah, sure, Guk. The same way you can do that bottlecap challenge."

"Bottle cap challenge, and yeah, I could!" The youngest stands and you don't bother to hide your grimace. 

"This isn't going to end well, is it?" You ask. No one acknowledges you, too busy finding something Jeongguk can kick the cap off of as the boy readies himself. He's steady on his feet but his face is red and he can't seem to stop giggling. 

"If I do this, you gotta call me SpiderGuk from now on, okay?" He says. No one agrees, but it doesn't stop him from laughing again and doing a couple of roundhouse kicks to warm up. 

"Okay, okay, Joonie doesn't have any regular water bottles, but we found a screw-top beer in the fridge so ya gotta use that," Jimin says as he stumbles over with said bottle. Jeongguk just nods, an adorable focused expression on his face. Jimin holds the bottle in the air, and you can already tell his grip isn't tight enough to keep the bottle still when Jeongguk kicks it. 

The next ten seconds happen in slow-motion. Jeongguk's leg flies out to kick but his drunken body isn't able to handle the sudden shift in balance, and he slips. His foot hits the bottle slightly too low, and it goes flying out of Jimin's weak grip into the air. Everyone in the room watches as it hurtles straight towards Namjoon's face, and you react out of habit and instinct, catching it in one hand before you even realize you've moved. 

Everyone freezes, staring at where the bottle hovers in front of Namjoon's face. You're the only one able to see your fingers wrapped around it. A shock jolts through you at the realization of what you've done and you drop the bottle as if it burned you. Fuck, they were all going to freak, then Namjoon would move out and you'd be stuck alone once more. You should've just shoved him out of the way, what were you thinking, you're so fucking stupid-

"Dude," Hoseok mutters from where he's perched on the arm of the couch. "Holy shit, Joon, you're fucking telepathic." 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and smacks his chest. "Telekinetic, you fucking-"

"Holy shit, you've got fucking superpowers!" Jeongguk squeaks. "Do it again!"

Namjoon isn't even able to get a word out before there's a book flying at his face, and you panic. You can't catch it, too rushed, but you manage to deflect it so it hits the bed with a soft thump instead of braining Namjoon straight in the nose. 

"Woah, you really do have superpowers," Jimin whispers. He lobs a bottlecap at Namjoon, and you catch it in your palm before letting it drop onto the half-wall. 

"I don't have...what the fuck you guys," Namjoon insists. His eyes are as wide as saucers behind the thick glasses he has on. He looks freaked out and you want nothing more than to hug him. Your hand reaches out of its own accord, halfway closing the distance to stroke his hair before you catch yourself. 

"Hey, levitate your plants," Jin demands. Namjoon looks panicked as he glances at the wall of plants, and you heave a sigh. With any luck, they're so drunk that they'll remember this as a strange fever dream, but you can't just let them keep throwing things at him. You crawl over to the wall, avoiding Namjoon as you do, and grasp one of the plants tight. It's a white pot with red polka dots, a simple RJ on the side, and it's fucking heavy. You only get it a few inches off the shelf before you're forced to put it down.

"Oh my god, catch this!" Taehyung throws a coffee mug straight at Namjoon's head and you panic again. You catch it, and you've decided you're fucking sick of them throwing things at him, so you lob it back and dart across the room to bounce it safely to the counter before it can break. 

Everyone in the room stares at the mug and then looks back at Namjoon, who hasn't moved from his spot on the bed. 

"Oh my god, you're a superhero," Jeongguk whispers, awe in his eyes. 

"That's fucked up," Yoongi mutters, wincing when Hoseok elbows him. 

"Maybe we should get some sleep," Namjoon says quietly. The others look like they want to disagree with him, and you have no doubt they want to explore the newfound 'abilities' of their friend, but they still start gathering trash together before they head out. 

Namjoon lays awake for a long time that night, glasses folded and sitting atop the half-wall beside you. He's oblivious to the way you watch him, too lost in thought to feel the weight of your stare or the chill in the air. 

"I don't understand," He says after a while. "I really don't, but there's got to be a reason for it." He doesn't elaborate, merely turns over and evens his breathing out until he starts snoring, but you watch him for most of the night. He's fascinating, this human, and you wonder what makes him so different from the others you've met. 

He apparently decides to experiment. You've known Namjoon is intelligent since he first moved in and you saw his collectible encyclopedias, but you hadn't realized just what it would be like in actuality. 

It starts simple. He'll toss something in the air and let it clatter to the ground. Nothing big, just little things like pencils or bottlecaps, and not far, just enough that his eyes narrow as he apparently tries to use his telekinetic abilities to manipulate them. 

It slowly graduates from there. Next comes the way he stares at something across the room, hyper-focused on whatever it is until you notice and move it around for him. It's a guessing game, sometimes, trying to figure out just what he wants to move or how he wants to move it, but each time you're successful, he smiles so brightly, dimples on full display. Who wouldn't want to make him smile like that?

It's hit or miss, sometimes. You're only so strong, and while you've had a lot of practice, you still get tired. You lifted his bookshelf almost a full inch before blacking out. Next thing you knew, a couple of days had passed and Namjoon was staring at a coffee mug. That was a significantly less fun day; between losing time and having to catch coffee mug after coffee mug, you were exhausted and a little shaken. 

So when he stops staring at things for extended periods of time, when he starts to go back to reading and scrolling the internet and bingeing all the completed shows that Netflix and Amazon had to offer, you're grateful for it. He still occasionally tests it out; he's always subtle about it, choosing to stare quietly until you notice and make whatever it is float around for a minute. Once you wandered around looking for him - a feat in a studio apartment - and found him just sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at a shampoo bottle.

You'd like to say that you don't move things entirely because he wants you to. It's a good test of your abilities and how far you can push yourself until it becomes too much, and it's always nice to have actual evidence that you still exist - in some form, at least - in the world. The validation that comes from seeing him smile every time you lift a pencil or slide a coffee mug to the side, it's not for any reason but the satisfaction of knowing that you have some kind of existence. Some kind of impact on the world, even if you can't be seen and can't leave the apartment.

It's part of why you start moving things around yourself more often; you're hoping he just blames it on his overactive 'abilities' if he notices because you really aren't sure what he would think otherwise. But you also know for a fact that just seeing that you have some kind of sway over the world still - over the things inside this tiny apartment - makes you feel just that bit better about being dead.

Which is why it's such a fucking shock when the door to the apartment slams open one evening just for Namjoon to slam it closed again and announce into the air, "So I know you're haunting me, please don't try to deny it, I only want to talk to you."

You freeze where you are, halfway through the closet door from where you were reorganizing his clothes because they made no sense and you were bored. He's looking around the apartment, almost desperate in the way he's searching, and you can't bring yourself to move. It's obvious he can't see you, and you aren't even sure if he's being serious, but the way he huffs and clenches his jaw before moving into the kitchen tells you that he probably is.

You follow him, curious, and watch as he pulls a small package out of his bag and starts ripping it open. You float the remains of what looks like gift wrap over to the trashcan, because you know Namjoon will forget, before going back to watching him. He's only a little careful as he cracks something in his hands and then slaps it onto the fridge, and you peek around him to see that it's some kind of words or something. There’s a wide variety, with no clear theme to them, as well as at least one of each letter of the alphabet. It's then you remember the throwaway comment Yoongi made during that night - "You need, like, poetry stuff, like those magnets that go on the fridge that people write that deep shit with, y'know? I'm gonna buy you one," - and realize that he'd followed through on his vow. 

"Alright," Namjoon says, leaning against his kitchen counter and staring at the magnets. "First and foremost, am I really being haunted or is this some kind of hallucination?" His gaze never falters, doesn’t ever drift from the magnetic words now spread across his fridge doors. It takes several minutes to build up the energy and the courage to move closer to the fridge.

You don't look at him as you move the words around, but you can hear the sharp intake of breath. That's likely all the confirmation that he needs, but still you clear a spot and let the words ' I am here ' sit where he can see them clearly. You wrinkle your nose, disliking how formal it sounds, but you have to make do, you suppose.

"Okay," Namjoon breathes. "Okay, prove it. My brain could work this into a hallucination. How do I know you're really a ghost?"

"Seriously?" You huff. "What the fuck am I supposed to do that wouldn't work into a hallucination, dude?"

He gets fidgety in the few minutes that you spend wondering how the fuck you're going to prove that you're a real actual ghost to someone who clearly doesn't believe in them. His foot taps at the floor and he scratches at his hand, which only makes you want to wrap your own hands around his until he stops, much like your best friend used to lay her legs across your lap to get you to stop shaking your knee.

The realization comes in a flash, and you're moving letters around before you can stop yourself.

Face book, Park Jihyo, best friend.

Namjoon stares at it for a long while before he brings his phone out of his pocket and begins to tap at the screen. You don't get too close; you've got a history with shorting out electronics, and you aren't sure you want to know what your best friend is up to without you there with her.

"Okay," Namjoon says. "Okay, I've never seen her before, so I don't think my brain could work her into a hallucination. Okay. Alright. I'm being haunted. This is fine."

"Calm down, I'm haunting the apartment, not you." He doesn't react to your words, as usual, but it still makes you feel the slightest bit better. He stares at his phone for a little longer, and the curiosity burns under your skin, but you resist. You know from experience that if you try to get too close, his phone will stop working. Just like TV, the stereo, the laptops, everything. You've had enough experience with that kind of thing to know what will happen.

"Okay, Casper," Namjoon huffs out after several minutes of waiting. He looks up and his eyes dart around the apartment, and you wonder if he's just nervous or if he's trying to spot you. "Where are you right now? Can you make yourself visible? I mean, I know you're a ghost, but it feels rude not talking to you to your face."

You huff a laugh but reach for a coffee cup. You know you can't just make yourself visible at will; you've only done it a couple of times, to your knowledge, and none of them have been on purpose. It's even more difficult to make yourself corporeal and physical, harder than just manipulating objects, but you did it once. Back when the single mom still lived here, when her toddler was falling and you had no way to cushion the fall except with your own body; you still aren't sure how it happened, but you remember being able to feel the floor against your back and the warmth of the baby on top of you for a split second before you were gone again. You won't forget that any time soon.

You float the mug towards where you stand, holding it in front of your face long enough that when you pull it away, Namjoon's eyes don't follow it. It's a strange feeling; you know he can't see you, can tell by the way his brow furrows and his eyes slide around the space, but it feels like he's looking straight at you. It feels like you're being seen for the first time since you died.

"So, where are you from, Casper?" His tone is forcibly conversational, as if he's trying his best to keep himself calm. You roll your eyes and move the magnets to show ' here ' and he nods. "You're not gonna try to possess me, or kill me, or run me off, are you? No offense or anything. I figure you would've already at this point, but...cover my bases."

No. Am nice. I think.

"You think? You don't know if you're a nice ghost?"

Does anyone truly know if they are nice? You frown, trying to figure out how to say what you want to say with the limited words available. I can only try. It's still not perfect; there's more that you want to say, more that you want to be heard, but this has to do for now.

"I can accept that. Alright. Just talking to a ghost in my kitchen. Okay. This is totally normal." He rubs a hand over his face, and you're a little impressed. Everyone else that's lived here has freaked when presented with the knowledge that you're a ghost. Namjoon looks very much like his world is exploding, but he doesn't have the same fear and apprehension in his eyes. He's certainly coping better than the single mom.

"Are you the only ghost? Here, I mean, are you the only ghost here?" He breathes a sigh of relief at your 'yes.’ "Can you see other ghosts? Do you know any other ghosts?" The 'don't know, no' that you move around on your fridge seems to unsettle him a little, but there's a curiosity burning behind it that makes your skin tingle.

Can't leave, is what you say next, cutting off whatever question he was about to ask.

"You can't leave at all? The building, or the apartment?"

The second.

"Wow. You're really stuck here?" He looks around the apartment as if seeing it for the first time and sucks in a breath. "What do you do all day?"

Watch. He cocks a brow. You are... You hesitate. The word you need isn't there, everything that comes to you is too poetic or corny for you to actually say, but the weight of his eyes is heavy on your hands. Fun is what you settle on, but it's not right either. 'Interesting' isn't there, nor is 'fascinating' or 'lovely,' and you don't want to scare him off by telling him that part of the reason you watch him so much is that he's so full of life that you feel less dead when he's around.

He laughs at your words though and shakes his head ever so slightly. "Alright, well, I'm gonna shower, so just, don't...watch that?" You squawk at the insinuation that you would, quickly rearranging the letters to spell ' privacy' and making a large angry face out of the rest of the words. He's already turned away, though, and it makes you angrier.

You don't want him thinking that you would peep at him. You already make sure that you're facing the windows when he finishes showering, you've been determined to not be creepy since the day he moved in, and to have him think otherwise is like a slap in the face. You slam the mug against the counter and he startles, turning to gape at it. You carry it to where your words and make-do emoji sit waiting for him to notice them.

"Okay," He says quickly. "Okay, privacy, yeah, got it. You respect my privacy. Appreciated."

"How fucking rude," You mutter as you set the mug back down. You don't adjust the magnets as he disappears into the bathroom. You want him to see them, want him to be reminded of the fact that being dead doesn't mean you don't have basic decency.

You can't get him to shut up now that he knows you're there. He still forgets sometimes, mostly when he's talking to his plants or narrating the way he carefully constructs some origami creation, but more often than not, he's talking to thin air. He spends a lot of time perched on his counter, watching you move magnets around his fridge through the thick lenses of his glasses before he spouts off some other question for you to answer. 

He covers the basics first: how old you were when you died, when your birthday is, your favorite color, what you were studying in school, and of course your name, though he insists on calling you Casper. You aren't sure why but you also don't get a chance to question it, because he hits you with more and more questions every day. Sometimes you don't answer because you can't, too limited by the poetry magnets to be able to really converse; sometimes you just don't have the energy to move the magnets around, but those are days are rare. The only times you use the tired magnet are when you find your limbs too heavy to move, weighed down with the memories of what it meant to be alive. 

Those are the bad days, but his questions make them just a little easier.

"How do you move around? Do you just float everywhere?" Walking, but different. No weight. Soft.

"How are you able to manipulate things in my world? Are they different from things in your world?" Focus. Takes time. Same.

"Do you sleep at all? Do ghosts dream?" No sleep. Just existing.

"You don't eat, do you? Should I be stocking up on snacks for you?" No. Save your sustenance. "What was the last thing you ate?" Don't remember. "Huh. I hope it was something good." Same.

"Were you ever in a relationship?" Once. A long time before. "Do you miss them?" Not anymore.

"What did you do while you were alive?" School. "Oh, really? Do you remember what you studied?" Boring. Important then, but it made me forget to live. Not important now. Namjoon goes quiet for a long moment after this one, staring out the window at something you can't see. He nods but doesn't ask any more questions, and he reads for the rest of the night.

It only takes a couple of weeks for both you and Namjoon to get tired of standing in his kitchen fucking around on the fridge. His legs get tired and he gets distracted by his thoughts, and you can barely keep up with the rapid-fire questions you get.

So Namjoon buys one of those cheap cookie sheets with the slightest lip at the edge and dumps the magnets on that. He leaves it on the coffee table, usually, there for you to pick up if he asks something but out of the way for when he stretches out to nap lazily in the afternoon sun.

You like the cookie sheet more than the fridge. He watches you as you work out your responses, can see the way you start to move one word before moving another instead; it makes it feel more like a conversation.

It becomes a favorite pass-time of Namjoon's, curling on the couch and putting some sort of music on in the background and just talking to you. A lot of nights his questions stop with a lingering silence from one or both of you; yours because you don't have the ability to share the words running rampant through your mind, and his for reasons still unknown to you. Still, you've missed it. You've missed talking to someone, being heard when you speak, having someone ask how you are at the end of the day.

It's the little things.

"You said you can't leave, right, Casper?" Namjoon's curled up on his couch, tucked into the arm with a blanket thrown over his lap, a mug of something warm in his hands to combat the chill of the season, and some R&B track playing lightly from his phone. You knock your fist against the cookie once - a sign for yes that you'd both agreed on. "So, are you just always here then? You don't go anywhere else?"

"Fuck, how do I explain this?" You mutter. You stare at the magnets in front of you for a long time before rearranging them. Not always. Tired sometimes, disappear.

"Disappear?" He reads. "What do you mean? You just, what, stop existing?"

Don't know, you respond. Only happens when tired. When used too much of me. He hums an acknowledgment, eyes focused on where the cookie sheet sits on the couch between you. You? What entertains you?

"Everything," he answers without hesitation. "I'm trying to work through my stack of books I want to read and finish all the shows I'm interested in, but the guys would have my head if I didn't get out and do things like a normal person."

That's where you leave to?

"Yeah." He sets his mug - now empty - on the coffee table and settles into the blankets. He looks cozy and soft and you would wrap yourself up with him if you could. "I take a lot of walks, and bike rides. I like to see the river, the trees, all the animals that live there. The beach is always fun, I get to see all the crabs and whatnot that wander in and out of the ocean."

"I wish I could go with you," you whisper.

Fun is what you spell on your sheet.

"I guess," he mutters. "It's enjoyable, at least. I'll bring you some souvenirs, or pictures next time."

You let the sheet settle on the couch as he turns the TV on, setting up a drama that he's on recently. He doesn't say anything else for a few hours, waits until the sound of rain hits the windows and stifles the apartment in an otherworldly haze.

"How long have you been dead?" His voice lingers in the air. You've been expecting these questions, and you're honestly impressed he's held them back for as long as he has. That angsty teen hadn't hesitated a single second to start asking you questions.

A while. Years. I think .

"Do you ever get tired of being a ghost?" There's something in his voice that you can't place, something that tells you this is more than just his usual morbid curiosity. Every part of your soul - whatever's left of it, anyway - is screaming at you to lie to him, to tell him that no, being a ghost is great. You've never wished he could hear you more than this moment, when all you want to is wrap your arms around him and ask him why he looks so much older than he is.

Sometimes, you tell him. It is lonely here, and boring. Fun to be unseen, but unable to do much more.

He nods like that makes all the sense in the world to him, and he brings the blanket up around his shoulders. "Do you ever miss your friends, or your family?"

Would you not? He huffs out an unamused chuckle, nodding again.

"Yeah," He says softly. "Yeah, I would. Do you want me to help you check on them? See what they're up to?" The single knock that echoes in the room is deafening to you, filled with a hope that you haven't felt in years. You've never let yourself think about them for long; if you did, you don't think you'd be able to come back from whatever that place is that you disappear to when things become Too Much.

Namjoon pulls his phone closer and starts fiddling with it. He doesn't hesitate when he types in your name, and you feel an emotional blush fill you when you see that he doesn't even have to finish typing for your profile to pop up. You glance at him, the way his brows are furrowed behind his glasses and his tongue pokes into his cheek just a little while he concentrates, and you wonder how many times he's looked at the pictures of you when you were alive. How many times has he scrolled through, reading the words people shared after you were gone, scrolling through the grief and loss to get to the words you posted yourself, the little snippets of your daily life that you would give anything to be able to relive?

"Do I still look like that?" You wonder aloud. As expected, he doesn't react, just continues tapping at his phone.

You two spend the rest of the night like that, each curled at opposite ends of the couch while Namjoon slowly looks up your friends and family and updates you on each of them. Jihyo got married, to someone she'd gone on a date with a few weeks before you passed, and she's apparently trying to start having kids; Your mother and father aren't very active, but they never were. They both share pictures of you when you were a baby each year on your birthday, and more recent photos of you on the anniversary. They have a dog now. It's cute. You wonder if it helps them cope with the loss.

Your other friends are doing well, too; most of them are still figuring out their lives, but it seems like all of them are settling in their skin and finding comfort in who they are. They're out there, navigating the world and doing things they enjoy, meeting new friends and making new memories.

You stand by the window for a long time, cookie sheet of magnetized words pressed against your chest as if you can feel the cool of the metal against your skin, and watch rain drip down the panes as you imagine what your life could have been.

You can always hear Namjoon before you see him. He whistles as he walks down the sidewalk, his small way of letting you know he's on his way back from wherever he's gone that day, and today isn't an exception. Relief sags through you and you move away from the windows, let your fingers trail against the ceramic of the newest succulent he'd bought, and head towards the kitchen. The kettle is turned on and heating a few moments later while you pull a mug down from your cabinet and set it carefully on the counter where Namjoon will see it.

It's a regular routine, for the two of you. He heads out, usually in the early morning after turning on some music or a show for you, and when he comes back, you make sure there's hot water for his tea or cocoa or whatever he feels like drinking that day. The sound of his whistling gets louder the closer he gets, a simple way to let you know he's safe and he's home. You glance through the cabinets and quickly make a note on the fridge that he needs to buy more of his special tea blend soon.

The lock turns and you smile, waiting patiently as Namjoon saunters into the apartment. He sets something down on the kitchen counter just as the kettle starts to scream, and you wait while he pours the water and gets it ready.

"The cherry blossoms bloomed," He says. You grin. "They look great. I got some really nice pictures while I was there, I'll show you tonight. I was thinking we could try to finish Voltron tonight if you want. We'll have to go back an episode though, I think I fell asleep during the last one." You knock once against the counter beside you, and he turns with a wide grin to glance at the spot where you stand.

It's ridiculous for your heart to speed up in your chest, for the hair on the back of your neck to rise, for breath to catch in your throat; you don't have a heartbeat, you don't have breath, you're a shadow of the person you used to be, and yet...

And yet, seeing his dimpled smile focused so naturally on where you are, as if it's just second-nature, is like a breath of fresh air after years underwater. It smells like flowers, like dirt and earth and a new beginning. It feels like you're alive again, and you don't want it to end, but too soon he's turning away to finish steeping the tea. Something lingers in the air for a moment after but it's gone too soon for you to place it.

You both settle on the couch, Namjoon tucking whatever he brought home with him under his arm, between his body and the arm of his ratty old couch. Your cookie sheet is in its place on the coffee table, unneeded at the moment. You can't help the glare that you give it; the things you would give to be able to just speak and be heard are endless.

It rattles a little and you look away.

Namjoon is quiet as the show plays. He doesn't react when you move to turn the oven on, but he does laugh quietly and thank you for it when he goes to put his dinner in. He eats and you don't bother him, though the way he keeps his little package hidden away makes curiosity burn through you. Eventually, once he's eaten and washed his dishes and laughed at the way you rubbed them dry before setting them carefully in their places, he settles back into his blankets and turns on the music he loves so much.

He's got a book balanced in his hands and your cookie sheet rests on the coffee table, and you both just sit like that for a long while, enjoying existing.

"You remember your life, right Casper?" You thump lazily against the wall in response, eyes drawn from where you watch the gloomy sky slowly get lighter with the dawn. He isn't looking at his book anymore; he probably hasn't been for a while, based on the way the pages have migrated around his thumb, too busy staring at the wall across from him. "Do you remember your death?"

You hesitate. You've tiptoed around the subject before. He's always been too afraid to ask directly, and it's too painful for you to offer it freely. You thump against the wall once more, and he nods like he already knew the answer.

"Are they very different?" His glasses are falling down his nose and your fingers itch to push them up. Instead, you reach for your cookie sheet. He makes a sound in the back of his throat when he sees it moving, reaching under him for his package. "I forgot, I got you this. Thought it might be easier."

He sets it down and you slide the contents out of the wrapping easily. Inside is a small dry-erase board, complete with markers and eraser, small things that should be easy for you to manipulate. You beam at him; he can't see it, but you think he might be able to feel it because he perks up and smiles a little.

"You don't have to answer," He adds. "I was just curious to know if being dead is really as different as everyone makes it out to be." You nod and thump once against the board before you uncap a marker and start writing.

It's a bizarre feeling, after so long. The muscles in your hand don't ache, no matter how much you write, and you can't feel the smooth surface of the board under your fingers or the weight of the marker in your palm, but it glides against it cleanly and leaves a thick black streak behind.

It takes you a minute to write everything out, get it worded how you want. Namjoon doesn't interrupt you, just watches the marker move against the board and smiles every time you go to erase something that isn't right. Eventually you show it to him.

There are similarities. I'm still me, I still enjoy TV and music and books. Things are duller now, like there's a filter over them, and it's harder to do things. Like when you're in water, or mud, like that. Resistance.

"Oh," Namjoon replies, "That's not what I expected. It makes sense though I guess." His hand moves against his chest, rubbing lightly as he looks over your words again. "Is there anything you actually like about being a ghost?"

"Well, being invisible is pretty cool," You say, writing the words as you do. "And it's actually really fun being able to walk through walls and stuff, even if I can't go anywhere outside of the apartment."

"I'm sorry you're stuck here," Namjoon says. You startle a little, looking up at him. You think he actually heard you for a split second, but his eyes are locked on where you're writing your words out on the dry erase board.

"Yeah, me too," You tell him. He stares at the board for a long moment, chewing nervously on his bottom lip as he does. "Ask what you want to ask, Joon," You write as you say it.

"How did you die?" He blurts. You sigh and he jumps a little, looking fully at where you sit. You're shocked; you know that sometimes little noises cross over, like when Jin heard you laughing, but it's still rare. You can't figure out how it works, but you want to.

You write for a long time, letters small so they fit on the board. The whole thing is crowded together, looks like one long string of letters instead of the story it is.

There's a lot of violence in this neighborhood. You probably know that by now. People are always getting robbed or mugged or something around here. Someone tried to break into my apartment by banging the door down. It didn't work, luckily, but I got really paranoid afterwards. One night I was cooking, and someone's door slammed really hard. I spilled the water I was boiling, slipped. Blacked out after a while, and when I came to, there were police everywhere. I guess I hit my head harder than I thought, because they carted me away, and I couldn’t follow.

"I'm sorry," Namjoon says softly. "You deserved more time."

Yeah. The universe had a different plan, I guess. He smiles at that, and it settles the anxiety thrumming under your skin. Wouldn't have met you, so I guess that's a bonus. He rolls his eyes at you but he laughs softly, so you consider it a win. You doodle on the board then, simple little designs that don't mean anything beyond being able to see your effect on the world.

Namjoon sucks in a breath beside you and you look up at him. He's always been good about looking towards where you are, doing his best to make eye contact with someone he can't see, but he still always tends to look through you.

Not this time.

This time, electricity sings through the air as your eyes meet his. You don't know how, but you know he can see you. His eyes roam over you, taking in the crumpled sweater you were wearing with the stain you like to think is pasta sauce on the arm, the hair you can't ever really tame, the way you sit cross-legged on his old thread-bare couch with a dry erase board in your hands.

Neither of you moves. He looks torn between fear and amazement, every emotion in between flitting quickly over his features, and you're terrified that if you move, whatever spell that's been cast will fade. It had been so long since you talked to anyone when Namjoon slammed those magnets on the fridge, and the conversation has been a reprieve, but to be seen for the first time in years...

It's invigorating.

Watching Namjoon just look at you is something you won't ever forget, not for as long as you exist in the world. He looks at you like he's memorizing every detail, every hair and wrinkle and pore, and just knowing that he can see you fills you with something new.

"Namjoon...?" You call hesitantly. His eyes fall on your lips.

"Again," He says. Your brows must furrow, maybe you frown, you don't know because it's been so long since you've needed to pay attention to your facial expressions, but he notices your confusion. "Will you say something again?"

Breath you don't have catches in your throat, wraps itself around a heart that doesn't beat, but you smile a little. "I'm glad I met you."

Namjoon smiles. It's big and blinding and knocks everything out of you except for that emotion that's been sitting in your chest since the first time you watched him talk to his plants. You lean forward, and you can tell the exact moment you disappear, because his smile falls and his eyes unfocus. A whimper leaves your throat, but he doesn't react, and that may be the most painful thing that's ever happened to you.

"Can I feel you?" His voice is hushed but the words reverberate in your head. His eyes dart around, looking for any glimpse of you, and your hand trembles as you reach out.

Goosebumps raise on his cheek where your hand touches him and his breath stops for a moment, but he smiles again and leans into the chill. You bring your other hand up to cup his other cheek, your dry erase board lying forgotten on the ground, and Namjoon's eyes flutter closed.

"I think I might love you," You say quietly just before you press your lips to his. He doesn't react to your words, but he lets out a soft sigh at your kiss. Thunder cracks through the apartment, a torrent of rain unleashed on the windows, but you don't move.

The two of you sit like that for hours, until he starts shivering and his nose turns red, like it does when he forgets his scarf on the cold days, and his breath puffs in the air. When you finally pull away from him, he smiles, and the blush on his cheeks has nothing to do with the cold air that makes up your form.

"Yeah," He says softly, voice nearly drowned out by the storm raging outside. "Yeah, I can feel you."

If you expected things to change much after that, you were wrong. At least a little. Namjoon still disappears to go on his walks, you still start the kettle the second his whistles drift up to the apartment. He still asks you a million questions, but they're more normal now. Your favorite music, color, what you wished you'd done with your life, if you've been able to corporealize again recently, what you wanted to watch that night.

"Come on, Casper," Namjoon groans. "I promise you can do it." You huff and he smiles, clearly having heard it. You're tempted to just disappear somewhere, rattle some pipes in the bathroom or the kitchen so he thinks you're in there and leaves you alone, but he smiles at you again and you're weak for that dimple.

You grip the watering can again, doing your best to lift it and manipulate it the way you need to. It's heavy, and something about the metal makes your skin itch, but the more you struggle the more you're able to pour the slightest bit of water where RJ - a giant plant that you don't even know the name of - sits in the corner of the room across from Namjoon's bed. It's the twentieth-something time you've tried this today, and you're ten seconds from just giving up completely, but you can tell this is important to Namjoon.

He's been talking all week, between the late nights where you lay over his blanket-wrapped form and the mornings where he ducks out with a soft goodbye. He's told you everything about his plants that you think he possibly could, teaching you about them and showing you how to care for them. It's interesting, you won't lie, and it's always fun to see him light up when you recall something he's told you, but you're exhausted and every part of you is shaky, and you're more than a little worried of what might happen if you push too far again.

Still, Joon hasn't looked great lately, like he might be getting the flu, and you want to be able to help him with all the things he does in the house. You've already started doing the dishes and folding laundry, since those were the two things he was the absolute worst at, but you feel like you should be doing more.

"Good job, baby, I'm proud of you!" You grunt and let the watering can fall back to the ground with a loud thump that almost definitely has the downstairs neighbors cursing Namjoon's name. "See, and now we're done for the day! C'mon, we can put on Sens8 and cuddle."

He's on the couch before you can stop him, wrapping himself in blankets except for one lone hand that sticks out, expectant. You roll your eyes and sit beside him, close enough that if you had a body you would be cuddling instead of just sitting awkwardly beside him.

You know that this is just going to make your hand all pink and gross, right?

He just smiles when the board flips around to reveal itself and wiggles his fingers. "It's worth it," He says. "I'd rather be pink and gross than never get to hold your hand at all."

You can't even feel my hand, Joon, there's literally no point to this. He huffs and wraps his hand around the marker in your hand, shivering at the chill that runs through him when he does. He grins and gestures down to where the tips of his fingers are already turning red.

"Clearly I can feel it, Casper."

You're glad he can't see you, that you don't have a heart that beats or blood that runs, because if you did, your face would no doubt be red. You have no doubts that Namjoon would tease you about it.

He's quiet as you both watch the show; he makes the odd comment here or there, but his mood seems to have calmed some. When he first got back from whatever place he visited that day, he'd been anxious and jumpy and entirely too on edge.

"Hey, Casper?" He asks quietly. You slide a hand against his cheek to let him know you're there, and he leans into the chill again. "What do you think about me?"

You don't move for several seconds, hand still poised around his cheek.

"Like, your feelings. What are they? Will you tell me?" You knock once on the wall behind the couch. Your hand stays poised over your board for long enough that Namjoon starts to get a little restless. Words refuse to come to you. Every time you start to think you have a way to describe to him what he means to you, they disappear as quick as fog on a summer's afternoon. Frustrated, you let the board fall to the couch and scrawl a quick 'hold on' so he knows you aren't just ignoring him.

It's been weeks since you've seen what you're looking for, your cookie sheet with the word magnets having been basically forgotten in lieu of the more personal and convenient dry-erase board, but right now you know that if words won't come to you, you'll have to go to them.

You finally find it, shoved under several encyclopedias and magazines, and the noise you make is so triumphant that even Namjoon hears it. You curl back up beside him, careful to make sure the blanket is wrapped tight around him, and make sure he can see the words as you move them. It still takes a long time, constantly changing and rearranging and stacking to make sure it conveys the things you need it to convey.

You are like music. A symphony of summer days and peach skies with soft rain. You are a storm in the moonlight. I'm not lonely when I have you pouring around me. You make me feel alive again.

Namjoon is silent for a long time, and you wonder if you've gone too far. It's more poetic than you'd like, too frilly and fancy and emotional than you usually are, but they're the only words you have.

After too long, he exhales. It's heavy and deep and it feels like he's trying to expel more than just air from his body.

"You make me feel alive, too," is all he says, whispered into the softness of his blanket in a voice too small for his long limbs. He shivers, and you hear him choke down a cough, and then he disappears into the bathroom for a long time. When he comes back out, he doesn't say anything, just slides into the mass of blankets on his bed and lays his arm out across the mattress. You spread out across from him, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he looks through you and out the window where the rain is letting up.

"Looks like the rainy season is gonna last longer than everyone thought." You slide your hands around one of his large ones and just hold them like that. His eyes sink closed and something like relief stands on his face for a moment before it's gone, swept away by the peace of sleep.

You wonder what it is that he sees when he looks out the window. If it's the plain brick wall and windows of the building next door, or something more.

You aren't sure you want to know.

Namjoon's flu only seems to get worse. He leaves early in the mornings, as if he thinks you might not notice the way he coughs into his scarf just because the sun hasn't risen fully yet. He stays gone most of the days, and even when he apologizes quietly during the twilight when he slinks back in to the sound of the kettle screeching on the stove and his tea already waiting to be steeped, he still doesn't stop.

You've taken to playing blues while he's gone, mostly the old school stuff, digging out the vintage record player he has buried in the closet and setting it up on the coffee table. It’s the only technology you can use without shorting it out. You don’t know why, but it makes you grateful the record collection Namjoon keeps tucked away inside the coffee table that you’ve learned is in fact an actual steamer trunk that he salvaged and restored himself.

The music fills the apartment, distracts you from the oppressive weight of his absence. He knows you wait at the window for him, you told him that back when the two of you were first getting to know each other.

You're so fragile, you had told him. He had laughed at you, quiet and fond, and waited for you to explain further. You're so full of life and breath and possibility, and the world is so big and so dangerous. I'm scared you won't come back.

"Of course I'm going to come back," he told you. You didn't even need to tell him that you're afraid of what being alone might do to you, now that you're so used to his presence. You're being heard again, sometimes even seen, and you don't know if you can go back to the stagnant depression of solitude. "I'll always come back to you."

That was the first time you thought you might love Namjoon. The feeling has only gotten stronger, and now that you wait at the window with your eyes focused on that tiny section of sidewalk you can see at the end of the alley, it threatens to consume you whole.

You wait at the window for hours. You know because you glance at the clock every minute and a half, mocking you with every tick as it hangs limply on the bathroom door. The sun sinks below the horizon, the moon rises to take its place, and they switch again while you wait. The dawn paints the sky in beautiful shades of pink and red and orange and the faintest purple, but you can't appreciate any of it, because you're too anxious.

He could be hurt. He could be gone, and you wouldn't ever know until his friends came to pack his things. He could have left, too; maybe he finally decided that living with a ghost was just too much for him and just ran. Maybe he figured out that you love him, that you would move heaven and earth if it meant he was safe forever if only you could leave this apartment, and it was too much for him.

What if he knows about how you lay beside him every night? How you tuck the blankets tighter around him, cover him in warmth and comfort before settling on top of them and closing your eyes and pretending that you can feel his arm draped over your waist and his breath on the back of your neck. What if he felt you, that night you wandered into the bathroom while he was showering to write on the steam-covered mirror that he needs to buy more eggs soon and got distracted by the way he looked stepping out of the shower? What if he knows your stomach flipped at the long limbs and the hidden muscles and the sheer size of him? What if he knows the real reason you were quiet that night, the way you kept replaying the moment in your mind and wishing you had a body so you could have just touched him, at least.

It's closer to noon than midnight when his whistle echoes up through the window.

"Hey, I'm home," He calls as he enters the empty apartment. You're upset, but you're more filled with relief than anything because at least he's safe and he's here now. He makes a beeline for where the kettle is just starting to whistle, already reaching for the honey and the tea you set out on the counter for him, and you do your best to calm the storm of emotions inside you.

Did you have fun, wherever you were? You ask him, floating the whiteboard in front of his face so he has to acknowledge it.

"Yeah, I did," he responds as he stirs his tea. "Jin invited everyone over for some end of summer thing. I didn't feel too great at the end of it, so I just spent the night there."

Don't party too hard, you might remember how to have fun, you joke. It falls a little flat based on the grim smile Namjoon gives you. Are they gonna come over here again anytime soon? I've missed scaring Hoseok.

He lets out a real laugh at that. "I don't know, maybe. My birthday's coming up, after Jeongguk's, so they could definitely be planning something. I'm heading over to Yoongi's later to help plan for Guk's party. I might stay there tonight, so try not to worry, Casper."

I'll try, you tell him. You both know you'll stand at the window every second he's gone, but you don't want to tell him why. You don't want to tell him that you love him through a dry erase board, or some fancy poetry magnets. It doesn't matter that you may as well have already said so by telling him that he makes you feel alive again; you haven't said the words to him, he hasn't seen 'I love you' in the messy scrawl that is your handwriting on some stupid board, and therefore he doesn't know.

You don't know if you want him to.

He stays gone that night, as he said he might, and reappears the next day to shower and change before he vanishes again. The next time he shows up, he takes a bag with him when he leaves, which only worsens your fears. He stays gone for three days this time, doesn't apologize when he turns up again and just mumbles a soft hello into the air before he makes tea and sags into his couch. He's asleep in seconds, and as much as you want to scream at him, you can't bring yourself to disrupt how peaceful he looks.

When he wakes, he takes a shower and ignores the ' can we talk ' you scrawled in the steam. He packs a bag of fresh clothes and doesn't say goodbye when he leaves, just disappears and leaves you standing at the window with the pail in your hand, caring for the plants he isn't. The slam of the door sounds like nails in a coffin and breaks what little was left of your soul.

He shows back up nearly a week later, and the relief at seeing him again is overridden by the sheer anger at being left in the first place. You don't start the kettle when you hear his whistle, the quiet and hoarse tune of a familiar song barely reaching the window, but there's plenty of noise when he enters.

The cabinet doors are quaking with your fury, the lights flicker and threaten to burst, and Namjoon just leans back against the door. He’s soaked from the storm thundering outside, even his jacket plastered to his skin, and he’s shivering slightly, but you can’t see anything past the rage.

"Where the fuck were you?" You demand; there's no point, it's not like he can hear you, but the way he sighs makes you feel like he can, so you continue anyway. "It's been almost a week, you didn't even think to stop by for ten seconds so I know you're okay? I thought you were dead somewhere, you could've been, like, shot, or something, I don't know, just bleeding out in some ditch, and I wouldn't know! And what about all the plants? I know how to take care of them, sure, but do you know how hard it is for me to do it?"

Namjoon sighs again, the breath catching in his throat and coming out in a cough, but you don't pay much attention to it.

"Why would you act like this, Namjoon? What did I do, is it because of the things I said? Do you not want me to feel like this about you? Because this a damn good way of making sure I don't, I assure you, so by all means, just keep disappearing and leave me alone with the plants you decided to rescue and save!"

His cough gets worse and he just shakes his head, covering his mouth and making his way towards the bathroom.

"If you want me to hate you, it's too fucking late, Joon!" The slam of the bathroom door punctuates your sentence, and you quiet at the sound of continued coughing. You knew his flu was getting worse, but it's never sounded like that. Even when you were alive, you knew that the wet sound that's muffled by the bathroom door isn't what a cough should sound like. The lock of the door clicks, and it shocks you into movement because he's never - never - locked you out of anywhere. He knows it wouldn't stop you, knows it as well as you know that you'd respect that boundary if he set it, and yet here he is, locking you out even as he coughs up what sounds like a lung in the other room.

You hesitate at the door, torn between respecting his boundaries and knowing what’s happening. You want him to trust you, always, and yet you find your hand disappearing through the door before you can stop it. You stand like that for a long moment, just listening to the sounds of his wracking coughs; the sound of a crash echoes through the apartment, though, and you’re through the door completely in the span of a heartbeat. 

Nearly everything that had been on the counter is scattered on the ground, Namjoon himself gripping the sides of the toilet as if he would fall apart otherwise. A single glance tells you that the crash happened as he turned from the sink to the toilet, and if his jolting shoulders didn’t tell you why, the sounds of his retching would. That isn’t what fills you with dread though; the disorientation, the vomiting, all of it comes with being sick sometimes, but the red staining the bathroom sink? 

That’s not normal, and you know with every part of you that it’s the reason he’s been gone so much. 

The temperature in the apartment drops with the sun, but your arms surround Namjoon as best they can. Goosebumps break out on his arms, shivers run down his back, but you don’t move away from him; he doesn’t say anything, just sits there with his forehead pressed against the cool of the porcelain. He stands eventually, ignores the way he passes completely through your body to rinse the sink and brush his teeth. 

You let him stay quiet until you’re both on his bed; you’re pressed up against his side and running your hands along his forearms, idly wondering if you would be able to feel his heartbeat if you were alive. 

“It’s not...it’s not gonna get better,” He says eventually. “There’s not a cure, just some things to draw it out and give me a little bit longer even if they come with more pain. I go once a week to see if it’s gotten worse, check how much longer I have. It’s why Hobi let me move in here rent-free. He pays the bills, says it’s the least he can do. I wanted to be closer to him anyway, so that’s a bonus, I guess.”

“I’m so sorry, Joon,” you whisper. Your board lies forgotten, somewhere on the couch maybe, you aren’t sure and can’t be bothered to pull yourself away from him long enough to find it. You don’t need it right now, though; he knows what you mean by the way the cold presses against his bicep with your palm. 

“I didn’t want you to know.” You’re not exactly surprised at that; you’d figured as much. You just don’t understand his reasoning. “I didn’t want you worrying about me, or anything like that, like the guys do. They always look at me and it’s all they can see. Like they’re already mourning me, even though I’m still here. I didn’t want to feel like that with you.” 

“I know,” you say. You don’t, not really. Your own death was sudden, a shock to everyone you knew; you didn’t get the luxury of saying goodbye, didn’t have the burden of knowing you would be gone soon. 

The two of you sit in silence for a while, until you can feel Namjoon’s chest quivering under your palm. When you look up, he looks at you, really and truly at you , and he has tears in his eyes. 

“I don’t want to die, Casper,” He whispers. You suck in a breath because he can see you, and you don’t even know why, but you don’t want to lose this moment. “I don’t want to leave all of this behind. I don’t want to leave you.” 

“It’ll be okay,” you say softly. His brow furrows and a tear slides down his cheek. “I promise you it will be okay, Namjoon. It gets easier, and people remember but they aren’t stuck forever. And I…” You falter, and it takes his eyes meeting yours to make you realize he can hear you. And there’s only one thing you’ve ever needed him to hear. 

“I love you,” You tell him. “I love you, and I will never forget you.” 

He surges forward, lips meeting yours in a rush of air. You moan at the feeling of him against you, realizing that for the first time since you died, you can feel something under your fingers. His skin is warm against your fingers, his lips soft against your own, and when he reaches up to cup your jaw with his hand, he doesn’t pass through your form. Instead his hand settles heavy against you, and he moves your head to lick into your mouth. 

Tears that won’t fall prickle at the back of your eyes and you climb into his lap before he can stop you. He’s still crying so you wipe away the tears before they can fall, pressing soft kisses to his cheeks, his dimples, his nose, every bit you can reach. A question sits at the back of your mind, and you can see it lingering in his eyes, but neither of you asks it.

“You’re so cold.” His whisper is nearly lost amidst the thunder that shakes the apartment, but it makes you smile a little. 

“Warm me up?” 

His chest is still quivering with unspoken sobs, but he nods. “Always,” he tells you. “I’m always going to be here.” It doesn’t take long to pry him out of his clothes, takes even less time for him to sink into you. It feels just like it did when you were alive, only magnified; you can feel him hot and warm inside you, can feel the beat of his heart in the firm muscle under your hands. His moans are quiet and hoarse but you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

He keeps one hand on your waist and the other on your neck, holding you close enough that he can kiss whenever he wants. “You’re beautiful,” He whispers. “The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” You just press another kiss to his chapped lips and let him dig his fingers in hard enough that it would bruise if it could. When he’s close to his peak, he stops thrusting, just sits inside you as he grinds your hips down to his, and presses his forehead against yours. 

“I love you,” He tells you, lightning casting his shadow across the wall for a brief moment. “I love you, I do, I wish-”

“I know,” you tell him before he can continue. “I know, Namjoon, I know, and I do, too. I love you, too.” He comes a few seconds later, the warm seed soaking into his sheets because it has nowhere to go. His warmth disappears from under your hands and his arms fall to his lap when the only thing holding them up is gone. All you can hear is your quiet sobs mixed with his and the rain against the window, and for the first time since you came back, you really, truly, wish you had died. There’s no point in being a ghost when you can still feel your heart breaking in your chest. 

“Casper, are you ever scared?” 

It’s the middle of the afternoon. Namjoon is sprawled across the couch wrapped in blankets while Lucifer plays in the background and you doodle aimlessly on your board. You don’t need it as often now; you’ve gotten better at focusing your energy into being heard, though being corporeal still eludes you. You don’t know how you did it that night, but you’re grateful for it. 

“Of what?” You ask, looking towards him. He’s not looking at you or watching the show, just staring at the ceiling. He focuses at your words, lifts himself up into a sitting position. A shiver runs through him when his legs move through you, and you settle a weightless hand against his knee out of habit. 

“I don’t know,” He replies. “Just...whatever comes next. If there’s something that comes next. Being forgotten. Being stuck here forever.” 

You aren’t stupid; you know why he’s asking. The question lingers in the air, colors all of your conversations now, but the truth is that neither of you has the strength to ask it and neither of you knows the answer. 

“Sometimes,” You tell him. “Sometimes I wonder what Jihyo is doing, if she ever had a baby like she wanted to. I wonder if my parents are still alive, and what they say if they visit my grave, what they tell me now that I can’t respond to them.” 

Namjoon nods like he’s already thought of that, and he probably has. 

“Most of the time I try not to focus on it, though. It’s not helpful, it only upsets me, and I don’t…” You trail off, unsure of how to word your thoughts. “I don’t know what might happen if I only focus on the negative. I don’t know anything about what’s true about ghosts and what isn’t beyond that I exist now, and I can’t risk becoming something bad. So I try not to focus on it. It’s easier when you’re here.”

He grins and blows a kiss in your general direction, and you pretend not to notice the blood on his cracked lips. He’s quiet for the rest of the episode of half of another. 

“Have you ever seen a light?” 

“What?” He doesn’t seem to hear you, and you repeat your question on your board for him. 

“A light,” He echoes. “Like, the light.Y’know, the light at the end of the tunnel, ‘don’t go into the light,’ that thing.” 

You hesitate at that. You knew what he meant, what he actually wants to know here. He’s easier to read now than he was in the beginning. 

You watch him as he watches the space where you sit, curled up beside him on his couch. He can’t see you, of course, but he can see where the board rests in your hands. His gaze is heavier than it was when he first moved in; his cheeks are hollower, skin more gaunt with a grey tint that’s only made worse by the constant rain. The sun is just starting to break through the clouds, a brief reprieve after weeks of the dreary stone-colored clouds. It casts shadows along the walls, reflects off something in the window across the alley, and backlights Namjoon beautifully, casts a halo of light around the brittle brown hair you love. 

Once, you tell him. Just once.

“Why didn’t you go to it?” 

There are so many things you could tell him, so many different ways to answer such a simple question, but you find yourself lingering on the one thing you know is the ultimate truth. 

Because I love you.

September comes with even more rain and a bittersweet atmosphere. Jeongguk spends his birthday at Namjoon’s apartment and then comes back a little over a week later, surrounded by the other guys and carrying enough food to last a few months. You stay curled on the bed, one of the only safe places for you to not mess with anyone or anything. Your board is tucked into the blankets, ready to be used but hidden from view just in case. You watch as Namjoon sits on the couch, tucked between Taehyung and Yoongi with both of them leaning into him as much as possible, Yoongi’s hands wrapped in one of his and Tae’s head on his shoulder. 

The other’s aren’t far, leaning against the back of the couch and on beanbags they’d brought with them, all laughing as Hoseok does his best to act out whatever he’d been given in charades. He’s not bad at it - you’ve guessed the last few he’s done - but he is utterly ridiculous in his mannerisms. You know why; it’s the same reason everyone kept smiling when Namjoon refused all of the food he was offered, why Seokjin would crack a terrible joke whenever it got too quiet for too long, why everyone is resolutely ignoring the growing pile of tissues on the table. 

It keeps a smile on Namjoon’s face, though, and a laugh in his eyes, and you can’t ever be anything but grateful for that. 

Hoseok stumbles, nearly falling and whirling his arms to catch himself before eventually falling anyway. You laugh along with the others, grinning at the way Hobi pouts and rubs at his hip. You’re focused on the way Joon laughs, the way it lights up his face and brightens the entire room, which is why you see it first. 

The tickle at the back of his throat quickly becomes a cough, wet and wheezing and enough to make him throw the blankets from his lap and stumble to the bathroom. 

You’re there before he is, helping him slide the door closed and locking it behind him as he bends over the toilet again. The six of them are quiet in the main room, speaking in hushed whispers that neither you nor Namjoon wants to hear. You turn the knob on the sink, wetting a towel while you drown out the sound of voices, and letting a hand run over Namjoon’s back. 

“I’m okay,” he mutters. You ignore the way his voice shakes, the way his lips are redder than before, the way this happens more often than before. Instead, you just press the damp rag to his neck and watch his eyes close in relief. When he stands and flushes the evidence away, you already have his toothbrush ready and waiting, and you stay as close to him as you can until he takes a deep breath. 

“I’m okay,” He repeats. “I’m okay. It’s my birthday, and I’m okay.” 

He goes back out with a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice, teasing Hoseok about the way he fell and reenacting it, even. When he settles on the couch, he urges the others to continue the game. There’s a brief moment of hesitation before Jimin declares that he’s next and pulls something from the bowl on the table. 

You know you aren’t the only one that notices the way Namjoon’s eyes linger on the six men around him, but you are the only one that notices the way they also linger on his steamer trunk, the shelf with his books, the TV, the record player, the scrapbook of his life that they all worked on and Taehyung pieced together over the months, the plants on the wall that he had cared for. He looks around his apartment as if he’s looking at it for the last time. 

As if he’s already planning who’s going to get what. 

He finally asks the question you both have been thinking about, nearly two months later. His breathing comes in ragged pants, his lips stay chapped, and he keeps several blankets around him at all times to try to hide the shaking of his body. Your soft sobs echo through the apartment constantly; while you reheat the tea he doesn’t drink for the millionth time, while you quietly water and prune the plants he’s saved from death the way you wish you could save him, while you sit curled around him as he sleeps, soothing his coughs with quiet whispers. 

Night has just begun to fall, the rain of the day turning into a soft drizzle, and you stare at him blankly, unsure how to process what you’ve just heard. 

“Do you think I’ll come back?” He asks again, slightly louder. As if you hadn’t heard his shaky voice the first time. It’s not the question that floors you. You’ve been expecting this for weeks, months even. You’ve wondered it yourself as you prepare tea and ignore the sounds of him vomiting blood in the bathroom, as he disappears to the hospital and returns with a worse prognosis than before, as you’ve adjusted to the idea that you are dead and he is dying and you cannot do anything to help him. 

You never would have expected the hope that his words carry though. 

“Why does it sound like you want to?” You ask. Your voice is clear in the air and you’re glad for it, because this isn’t something you want to talk about through your board. 

“Because I do?” His response is delayed and sounds more like a question than a real answer. 

“Why?!” You demand. 

“Are you serious, Casper?” His brow is furrowed as he sits up and lets the blankets fall away to sit haphazardly off the couch. 

“Are you? Joon, why would you want to come back?”

“You’re seriously asking me that question? Why would I not? I’ve got so much I still want to do, I never thought I’d get the chance to after I got the diagnosis and now I might be able to. Why wouldn’t I want that?”

“Because it doesn’t work like that! You don’t get to just wander the world and fuck around, Joon, you’re dead.”

“Yeah, but you can still read and write and everything. I’d have all the time in the world to read the books I want to read, watch the shows I want to watch, write the music and stories and lyrics that I want to write.”

“Yeah, so long as it all stays in this apartment!” The light in the room flickers slightly with the force of your irritation. “You can’t do anything that isn’t in this room, Namjoon, you can’t use any of the electronics, you can’t read a book unless it’s here, you can’t write music unless it’s on actual paper, you can’t do anything.” 

“Yeah, and I could make that work. Why are you so upset about this? I thought you’d be happy.”

“Happy? You think I’d be happy that you’d be stuck in these four walls forever, too? Why would that make me happy?” Namjoon stands, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head. 

“Because I’d be with you! We’d be together, forever! Do you not want to be with me?”

“Of course I want to be with you, Joon, but not at the cost of you being stuck here. I don’t want that for anyone, certainly not the man I love.”

“And what if that’s what I want? What if I want to spend the rest of time with you? I’m already spending the rest of my life with you, I’m in love with you, I don’t want to leave you.”

“And I don’t want you to go, but Joon, why would I want you stuck here, too? This isn’t something fun. This isn’t anything that I enjoy.”

“Oh, so you regret it all then?”

“I didn’t say that, I just don’t want you to be stuck in a shitty studio apartment for who knows how long when you can’t fucking do half of the things you love! You wouldn’t go on walks, Namjoon, you wouldn’t go with Guk and Jimin to the movies, you wouldn’t get visits from Hobi, you wouldn’t get to shop with Taehyung or Jin, you wouldn’t get to drag Yoongi away from his thesis or celebrate with them when he finishes it! It’s not like being alive, Namjoon, you’d be dead and alone and in hell!”

“Whatever,” He mutters, shoving his arms into his coat. “Why can’t you understand for one fucking second that it wouldn’t be like that with you? I’d rather be stuck here forever than have to die in some shitty apartment and not even be able to touch the person I love.”

“Why can’t you understand that it’s still death? You’d be dead, Joon, your friends would go to your funeral and disappear from your life, and you’d be stuck staring out that window at that shitty alley for the rest of time. You don’t get it, you don’t how terrible it is to be stuck here and watch life pass you by.”

“Then why the fuck are you still here?” He asks. The door slams behind him before you can answer him, and your scream shakes everything in the room. You just barely catch one of the plants in the kitchen, a brown-potted one with ‘Shooky’ scrawled in Yoongi’s familiar handwriting, before it crashes to the ground. You return it to its place gently and huff another frustrated groan. 

You wish you could explain it better, but you know he wouldn’t get it even if you could. He doesn’t understand what it’s like to be trapped between four walls and unable to do anything without massive amounts of effort. And he won’t, not unless he experiences it himself. 

You’ve already watched him wither away. You’ve watched him become thin and sallow and a shadow of the Namjoon who first moved in, and you don’t know what you would do if he came back. You wouldn’t be alone anymore, of course, and you’d have him here with you, but at what cost? Namjoon was built for cherry blossoms and sunshine and the riverside. He would hate being trapped here even more than you do.

Still, you could have been more understanding of his view. You can admit that even being stuck in a shitty apartment wasn’t so terrible when you had Namjoon there to make you laugh or watch TV or read to you. It may even get better if he turned into a ghost; maybe you could hold his hands in yours, could feel him wrap his arms around you, could press kisses to his skin again. 

You move to the window and stand there waiting. It’s not good for him to be out, even if the rain had stopped a few days ago and the forecasters promised it was the end of the downpours. He was still weak, you’d be surprised he even went anywhere to begin with but you know he likes to walk to calm himself down. 

You worry for what feels like hours. You can’t focus on anything, not the way the sun starts to set, not the sound of cars passing or the neighbor leaving. You’ve worked yourself into knots by the time you hear his whistle echo up through the streets, nearly lost in the sound of some argument in the alley below you. You catch a brief view of his coat and smile when you see that he’s got some half-dead plant tucked under an arm. There’s the briefest glimpse of what looks like a Ca scrawled onto it, and your heart jumps in your throat.

You make your way to the stove, turning the heat up slightly too high so that it’ll be ready when he comes in. The arguing outside gets louder but you pay it no mind, pulling the honey out and setting it next to his favorite mug. You’re reaching for the tea when you hear something else. It definitely sounds like Namjoon’s voice, but it’s not in the hall or at the door like usual. It’s raised, like he’s yelling at someone, like it was just a while ago when he was fighting with you. A crash startles you and before you can even reach the window to see what’s going on, there’s a deafening bang. 

You slam your fist against the window, watch the red mix with dirt, and the kettle isn't that only thing that screams. 

“I think that’s the last of it,” Jeongguk says. His voice is scratchy and quiet, but it’s deafening in the silence of the apartment. 

“Yeah,” Hoseok replies. His eyes are rimmed with red and his hands shake as he slides the last mug into a box. “Thanks for the help, Guk. I don’t, um.” He sniffles. “I don’t think I could’ve done it myself, y’know?” 

“I know,” Jeongguk agrees. They’re quiet again, adjusting the things they’ve boxed and avoiding finishing what they’re doing. 

“Oh, can you get that?” You don’t have to look to know what Hoseok is talking about. Jeongguk grunts an affirmation and makes his way over. It’s a strange feeling, having someone pass through you again for the first time since. His hands fly into the air as he tries to lift, clearly not having expected it to weigh anything. 

His reflection in the window frowns, and he tries again, tugging on the pot. 

“I can’t get it,” He says. “Do you think he glued these things down or something?” 

“No,” Hoseok replies as he wanders over as well. “He used to pick them up to re-pot them, remember? And the others came up with no problem.” 

“Well it’s stuck or something, you try.”

Hobi takes Jeongguk’s place and pulls hard at the plot, but your grip doesn’t waver. He huffs and disappears. When he returns, he’s got a butter knife in one hand that he does his best to slip under the pot. He tries hard to pry it up, so hard that you almost want to give in. You don’t though. 

The knife clatters to the floor with as much force as Hoseok can put behind it, a curse following quickly behind it. 

“Fuck it,” Hoseok says. His voice is shaky and you know he’s near tears again. “Just fuck it.” 

“But that was-”

“You can try if you want, Guk, but I just-” He chokes back a sob, shaking his head and moving to pick up the boxes he’d set down. “I just can’t, okay?” He disappears out the door in a hurry, and you wish you could follow after him. 

Jeongguk looks down at the small plant, with its painted periwinkle pot and soft leaves. He runs a quivering finger over the leaf and sniffles. He doesn’t try to lift it again, just stands and lets his tear soak into the soil.

“I wish you could come back to us,” He whispers. “We thought...we expected more time. It’s not...it’s not really fair, y’know? So if you can hear me, if you can come back to us, please do. Please.” 

He turns and leaves, the apartment door slamming behind him like the lid of a casket. Your grip on Mang loosens now that you know no one’s going to try to take it. You’d watched them pack everything else up; you’d let them take the steamer trunk full of records, the shelf full of books and movies, the collection of mugs, the soft blankets, the ratty couch, the rest of the plants he’d cared for so tenderly. 

Piece by piece they had packed Namjoon up and walked him out of the apartment, but this was the one piece they couldn’t have. This was his favorite and none of them knew how to care for it like you did, and you had to. You owed it to him. He deserved to come back to at least one familiar thing, never mind that you woke up not even a day later and it’s now been weeks. If there was one thing you wanted him to see when he got back, it was his favorite of his plants. 

The sun glares into your eyes from where it shines down on the city. It reflects off something in the window from across the alley, would be blinding if you actually had eyes. You pay it no mind, focused instead on the remains of the broken brown pot down in the alley, the way you’ve pieced them together in your head a thousand times just to trace the word Casper with your eyes. You can almost hear his voice saying it, even now.

You whip around, eyes darting through the empty space of the apartment as your hands tighten around Mang.

All that rests there is empty space, mocking in its loneliness. You remember when he moved in, remember how it felt to test the boundaries of the apartment and wish you were free. The want is still there, to leave and never think of it again, never think of him. You know better, though. You could never escape the memory of him, the way he laughed and smiled and spoke. You could never abandon Mang. Not when he said he’d always come back to you. 

You turn back to the window, cursing the sunlight with every other breath. It fades, slowly, into the black of night, before returning again, and again, and again. Days pass, each one feeling like years. Hoseok doesn’t appear to show the apartment, no one comes to collect the small periwinkle pot between your palms, and the ghost of his laugh echoes around you. 

The sun blinds you again. You don’t even know how long it’s been, just that you’ve yet to move. Light glints off whatever hangs in the window across the alley. That's when you see it, a vague reflection in the weathered glass of a dimple and a grin, and warmth surrounds you.

“I told you I’d always come back, Casper.”

[001jsngprk]

━♡ guess the 20 YEAR OLD MAY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because PARK JAE-SUNG is just as SUNNY as the month of MAY. wait, why do they remind me of LEE WOO-JIN ( TARGET ) ? beyond that, they seemed SPIRITED and PATIENT upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of HAREBRAINED and WISHY-WASHY though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX # 2 / APARTMENT # 5 / FLOOR # 3 ; HE seems to have a lot going on with HIS job as STUDENT. ( qiu, 18+, they/he/she, est. ) 

hello hello everyone !! i’m qiu and any pronouns are cool w me !!! this is my first krp (tbh first rp in a solid bit) so i might get confused here and there but the admins here are sososo helpful so hopefully nothing will throw me off too bad !! im happy to be here and my dms are always open !! though tbh i do prefer to use discord bc sometimes tumblr likes to commit crimes and eat messages </3 just hmu and ill give you it or add you!! if i dont reply to an im in like a day pls send an ask !! 

i have an about pg that ill work on a little more but ill just write out a short little thing here to get the blog going !

! SUMMARY/TRIVIA ! [⤍ park jae-sung ● 20 yrs old ● uni student ]

- likes to be occupied ;; fully the type to be cooking a full course meal at four am just because he was studying and just needed to do anything else. also the type to let anyone in to eat it ! - non-native ;; from the u.s.! it’s actually his first year in korea ever so his korean can be odd-sounding a lot as even though it’s his native language, it’s not actually the one(english) he knows best !! when speaking in english, he has a southern accent - money-saver ;; buys things in sets exclusively to save money!! he’s more of the frugal type tbh when it comes to things other than bills !! if he recognizes you pls expect him to have random things on him that he’ll offer you like a grandpa offering his grandchild twenty dollars - skillfully independent ;; after living majority of his life mainly on his own, jae-sung can do housework fairly well as well as cook !! not super well, but it tastes better than worse most of the time !!!  - hug-bug ;; if you give him the go-ahead, he’s incredibly physically affectionate !! it’s to the point sometimes he doesn’t even notice, like placing a hand on someone’s back or their own hand ! though, since he’s in korea now, courtesy of his parents’ advice, he’s been trying to rein it in a little ! but no matter w who, he likes to hold hands or hug or link arms or give a bro kiss or anything similar !! - romance averted ;; it’s not that he’s trying to avoid thinking or anything about it, it’s that it honestly doesn’t have much place in his life at all, so it’s never the first thing to come to mind. unfortunately, he’ll gal-pal everyone, assuming everyone are just friends up until people tell him explicitly otherwise - indecisive ;; there really is no choice he feels 100% on. as soon as anyone suggests anything else, he’s quick to switch over, even if he already had a position. the things he can’t change on are things he’s always been mulling over - reckless ;; jae-sung loves to do whatever to distract himself, and it’s pretty obvious in how he literally leaps from building to building away from home. he has a deep love for freerunning, and he’s good at it too (even has a yt channel where he posts a lot of it!), though it doesn’t look it; he always has some bruises or cuts on him. he also loves to try out any sort of trick w any sport such as skateboarding or iceskating!! falling is just part of the fun to him - responsible ;; yeah, it’s a little weird to follow w this, but he really is !! he’s responsible in the ohhhhh crap i have to start on this essay now if i want to be done in time pls learn from me everyone :pensive: type of way. he more so encourages and helps other people to be able to manage themselves, however, sometimes he should really follow his own advice when it comes to self-care.

! WANTED CONNECTIONS ! [ heres the pg for it but it’s all the same prompts word for word tbh ] 

- family first ;; you’re family ! it tbh doesn’t matter what branch of the family you are or anything else, you’re family that maybe met jae-sung over a whatsapp or fb messenger videocall when y’all were young once ! or they can be super close, tbh i dont mind whatever !! - lending a hand ;; jae-sung has a habit of taking care of others first before anything else. whether or not your muse is consciously taking advantage of that, to your muse, jae-sung helps out by giving food or doing chores w you or letting you stay over or any other small job !! this can also work the other way around ! - opposites attract ;; yeah <3 maybe your muse is cold or the rebellious type or anything !!  - guide ;; jae-sung is new to the city and your chara helps jae-sung go out and learn the areas around !!  - buddies ;; i am already running out of ideas </3 but !! this is just someone (or multiple people!!) who jae-sung is constantly over at their place or they’re constantly over at jae-sung’s !! while they don’t have to enjoy every death-defying stunt jae-sung attempts, they still come along ! y’all are just buds who hang out !!  - internet friend ;; the two of you have a history that’s mostly written !! we can work out details !! - lost and found ;; he dropped a notebook and when you saw it on the ground, maybe you picked it up, maybe not, you saw a bad drawing. the highlighter is not even in the pencil lines. he’s sort of embarrassed about it at first, but offers to draw a portrait of you anyways just to find anything to move onto  - brother figure ;; to jae-sung, you’re a sibling figure. what that entails is up to you !!  - wait what? ;; jae-sung learned something he wasn’t supposed to and is now paying the price genuinely :pensive: major f but it rly just be like that sometimes - anything !! ;; we can come up w anything or combine these or whatever !! im open to anything !!  ^^ everything above is open to all genders !!  [04:13AM EDIT] omg this is so embarazzing but i completely forgot to add if youre more comfortable being dmed than dming, just like the post !! i’ll hit you up !!

[delfinodreams]

OKAY i said i would make a post about my thoughts on paper mario a while ago and im finally writing it out

ill put it under a break because its probably gonna be long-ish

update: yea this bitch is LONG

okay so overall i really really enjoyed it!! it was really solid for the first entry in the series and i could definitely see the inspiration that ttyd later took from it. one thing that i didnt know about was partners not having HP, which threw me for a little bit of a loop. partners as a whole in this game don't play as active of a role as i wouldve expected because they have so little lines but using them in battle is still very fun! another small thing but i also hadn't expected mario to be completely silent, but it later grew on me!

i'm also gonna list my experiences and opinions on each chapter so here we go!!

chapter 1 - pretty alright for an introductory chapter! i didnt find anything especially notable, apart from getting 2 partners in one chapter. navigating the koopa bros. fortress was fun, and i loved the battle at the end!! their theme is SUCH a banger i had to sit back and listen to it for a bit when the fight actually started ehe

chapter 2 - not quite a fan of this one imo? i liked the first part through the mountain, but the trek though dry dry desert kinda took it out of me. BUT the addition of my favourite partner made up for it! parakarry my beloved <3 also the cutscene where dry dry ruins rise up??? that shit was SPECTACULAR. i absolutely loved how it turned dark when it first came up, i wish it stayed like that for more than just until you entered the ruins. the boss itself wasn't too exciting for me, probably because there wasnt much of a story?? i dont know how to describe it. actually its like that for quite a few of these bosses, but its the first entry for this series, so i wont fault it too much.

chapter 3 - this might be my FAVOURITE chapter- the suspense buildup throughout the entire chapter was AMAZING holy moly!!! first through the forever forest when you have bootler ask for you, and then wandering the mansion itself. i TOTALLY thought that boos were gonna be actual enemies when i saw them floating around. sneaking around tubba blubba's castle was so so fun to do, and i legitimately panicked when you ran into him in the hall and also when he wakes up and chases you back to the windmill. i didnt actually think the heart itself was the boss, just a miniboss, so i freaked out when i left the windmill and was immediately thrown into a battle with tubba blubba. i cannot express just how much i enjoyed this chapter, seriously!!

chapter 4 - coming back to toad town with the music change threw me for a bit; i wasnt expecting action to pop up so soon! figuring out that you could actually go into the toybox was such a "wait, what??" moment for me, but like, in a positive way. it was really cool to navigate this chapter and the lantern ghost encounter genuinely creeped me out at first because it was COMPLETELY dark. the fight against general guy is also a BANGER i could listen to it all day

chapter 5 - man i LOVE the whale. just a big guy willing to take u across the ocean :^) i really appreciated how you weren't stranded on the island too, like how you were on keelhaul key in ttyd. the ravens are also funky little guys, love them too. again, the lava piranha didnt really have any substance to it BUT it was a nice fight nonetheless! when it popped up again i was shocked but i made it through!! also fuck kolorado he doesnt deserve his wife

chapter 6 - this one's formatting is really neat- one central area with lots of branching paths, which i hadnt seen in my past pm experiences! i loved the quest leading up to the big beanstalk, plus the environment was so pretty!! the little part with the sun tower popped out to me, i'm not sure why though. maybe it was the music, it was so different from the flower fields theme. at first i had actually expected to go up to the clouds earlier, maybe like midway through the chapter. i thought that would be the "dungeon" of this part, so i was a little bit let down when i realized that the fields were the majority. however, the bit of the clouds we do see is SO good i LOVE the atmosphere!! huff n puff was actually relatively easy, using parakarry and lakilester for their all-around attacks. the guitars were a nice touch for his theme as well!

chapter 7 - oh dude i LOVED this chapter. i didnt know what i was expecting when i first went into the pipe in the sewers, whether it would put me into a village immediately or if i would have to make it through some screens before. needless to say, i was relieved when it popped me out into shiver city. the whole place felt "warm" which was really nice!! i was comparing it to ttyd's chapter 7 and fahr outpost which i didn't really vibe with, so it was a nice change! the whole murder plot was also unexpected but i enjoyed the whole "whodunnit" mystery! omg as im typing this i realize just how many aspects of this chapter i love this is gonna be long,, the entire snowy atmosphere is just so PRETTY and starborn valley felt so solitary to the rest of the land, like its own little bubble. i also had no idea that ninjis were in this game so when i saw one at merlon's i was like HUH?? anyways the way up the mountain to the crystal palace kept me on my toes; i thought that was the dungeon at first! the small bit where you see madam merlar and she tells you the story of the palace really got to me i have no idea why. the music and mysticality of it all was just SO good. dont even get me started on the crystal palace itself HOLY MOLY. the whole reflection bit was SO SO clever and the moment you realize its NOt actually a mirror?? fucking magnificent. this has to be my favourite dungeon in the whole game because it has such a NEAT gimmick!! it also has my favourite mario enemies, duplighosts! FUCK the crystal king though. he stunlocked me with his freezing move because i could not get the hang of blocking it. my partners really carried me for that battle; thank god for quick change

chapter 8 - THIS CHAPTER DELIVERED. the buildup for the entire game leading to this point. OUTSTANDING. i had to sit back and admire star haven because its so pretty- did i mention i love the water graphics in this game?? it has a pixelly look but it works SO WELL. going to the ship to take you to bowser's castle really felt like a "this is it" moment. the entirety of bowser's castle was So Good, it kept me on my toes the entire time!! slowly advancing as the music got more intense REALLY pumped me up. tracks that start off with only a couple instruments and eventually add more as you progress is one way to make me go BONKERS. the one bit where you make your way outside on the bridge and the music dials down and then you re-enter on the other side to it SLAMMING you in the face- that was Great. and then the complete silence as you get outside peach's castle HOLY SHIT. and then you actually enter the palace and the music is SO EERIE and youre like OH SHIT THIS IS REALLY IT. seriously, the buildup for this entire castle is done SO magnificently. i hadn't expected to fight bowser twice, i guess it was the game's way of letting u level up One Last Time before u got to the big bad. that being said, i wasn't too worried on getting a game over since i was fucking stacked on items. but that's besides the point- the fight itself got my heart POUNDING. the effects for the star rod and the star's powers were really nice to see in action, and the little section with peach and twink was so cool! i was expecting a little interlude where you would get your stats maxed out because thats how its like in every pm game, but it was still moving :)) bowser's final battle theme fucking SLAPS. the guitar especially sounds AMAZING. you really see him as a threat here and its so badass. his healing move fucked me over multiple times- i probably ended up having to deal with double his base HP over the course of the fight.

after the fight was over and you got to see peach's castle float down with the soft music in the background, it really hit me that its done, its over. again, the effects in this game are so pretty and theyre utilized SO well for the n64. visiting toad town one last time with all the npcs was a really nice touch- for some reason i really loved being able to interact with vanna t. (chuck quizmo's toad assistant) she's ADORABLE and i will probably end up drawing her sometime :)) the credits were also something that i really enjoyed- i LOVE the ongoing theme of parades at the end. seeing everything and everyone in the game condensed into a short 8 minutes really got me, i cant remember but im pretty sure i was smiling the whole time! and a small sidenote- TOADS WITH GLOWING SPOTS ON THEIR HEAD HELLO?????? I WANNA DRAW THAT SO BAD.

the ending screen with peach and mario looking at the fireworks made me really soft and i teared up a little because i was finally finished. the addition of pop diva's solo in the track was also so touching, it was my favourite sidequest in the game so hearing it again brought up Emotions :')

one thing i wasnt sure of was if there was a post-game mode and my completionist heart was disappointed a little when i found out i couldn't advance from the end screen and was forced to reset. although not many games from this era had post-game content so i cant dock too many points for that.

the paper mario series has a fond place in my heart, and finally being able to play the game that started it all really was a special experience. it really cemented my love for the original formula and i could see many places where ttyd took inspiration from. this game really is fun, and i would highly recommend playing it yourself if you have the means!

[grotesquegabby]

What would your Survivor and Killer OCs think of mine and Mags'? :3

@post-itpenny

alrighty~ lets get started with

Pandoras thoughts

Mary: Honestly seems like a great person and would love to get to know her more. I imagine if Pandora had traveled and crossed paths with Mary Pre-Entity. She would have been like hey can you DJ at this party I’m throwing. I imagine they could have become pretty good friends to be honest. Plus Pandora is a huge partier, so shed end up being a fan as well x3

Pandora loves to tease the killers in trial and with those perks that Marys got. I imagine if they ended up in trials together and got to each other before the killer did. Tag team big time.

Thomas: She can see that hes guarded and can understand that. Pandora is a pretty sensitive person and can read people well. Shed take her time with Thomas and show him not everyone is as bad as they seem.

She would be extremely patient with him. Have his back when shes able too in trials. That sadomasochist perk really comes in handy for taking hits for team mates x3

Will try to make him laugh in a trial, lets have fun with this. She knows people can see what shes doing. So shes like lets make this as pervy or as funny as possible.

Neo: Loves the aesthetic, oh la la~. x3 Dont know if shed see him without the mask but shed be like oh damn~. anyway...a challenging killer but thats what makes these trials so fun, and Pandora is a glutton for punishment...god that sounds bad...anyway

I imagine shed be annoying to him too. Finding out about his past though would warrant empathy from her. Its not fair shed say, its not fair at all...outside trials she would try to befriend him like shed try with certain other killers.

Irene: You think I’m annoying now....just you wait~. Pandora though loud and very in the spotlight herself....is patient and cunning and knows how to be stealthy. I think at first when learning about Irene she might feel for her but it wouldnt last too long. She can put two and two together...she knows what happened to those people Irene knew...

Selfish people do as selfish people do. And Irene may be an actor but shes an open book.

Pandora wouldnt have much patience for someone like her but annoying the hell out of her would be worth it every time. She might even snap at Irene during trial and bring something up...which might get her killed but she wont care. Irene wants control and is manipulative. And Pandora dont roll with toxic people like that.

oh you dont like how I dress or act, well tough shit. shed call her uptight x3

Now for Gisela~

her view on life in general has become skewed especially after the betrayal and pain she endured before becoming what she was. During most trials she is herself, I have a look for her that shows when its the Entity I have yet to draw it and post it though so....hopefully soon.

So~

Mary: oh my god, this one is going to be annoying she can already tell. Dont get her wrong in another life these two could have been close. But this is the Entities realm and the Witch is no longer who she used to be.

So shes going to get annoyed with that one perk Marys got x3 I can tell but outside a trial...perhaps but shes quite hard to get close to outside trials.

she tends to stay in her own realm and doesnt even bother going to I assume a killers camp .I like to assume the killers also have a camp like oh man a new day in the entities realm time to head to the camp to see what trials ill get and sometimes they all hang out there. But shes like nah....

But I think she would also be fascinated with Mary, and....impressed. She was never that confident or popular when she was that age. So maybe also some admiration in there. A small part of her from the past still remains it might seem.

Thomas: Gisela understands a lot about what Thomas feels. Betrayal, someone close to you betrayed you. Left you for dead.....how familiar. Her situation from before only slightly similar in the someone close aspect though for her it was a whole village.

In trials she might give Thomas a chance...might..because of the sort of kinship she would feel with him but only somewhat. She has a job to do after all

other than that who knows. Maybe outside of trials theyd sit quietly together but The Witch tends to mostly keep to herself watching everyone from the shadows or through the crows eyes.

Shes not too fond of most people due to her past.

Neo: When it comes to killers, The Witch learns about them before meeting them. So Neo she would feel for, might not really show it at first unless they happen to get real close eventually but....she would feel for him and his past.

And yes....he is quite handsome~. But right now its professionalism time.

anyway....I imagine they might not speak much at first. Since shes pretty secluded and loner like at least in the beginning of things.

Neo has no qualms with killing, and honestly neither does she at this point. He has his reasons she has hers.

Irene: Im just imagining the Witch looking down at Irene with just this....look like....excuse you. x3 I dont know why anyway...

considering how different these two are...Gisela will admit she was a bit selfish in her past but not to Irenes extent. She selfishly wanted to keep her sister with her in their home village but ended up unable too... that was her thing.

But Gisela also sees this want for attention and control.....utterly......infuriating. She has no patience for it. I imagine she could tell how Irene would feel about her. As I may have mentioned before or if I didnt, The Witch knows things and she can tell the type of impression she leaves on some.

but I imagine if these two did have any positive interaction it would be few and far between perhaps. Where as Irene enjoys being in the spotlight, the Witch actually doesnt. She tends to stick to the shadows.

Bastian's opinions

Mary: she's really cool and he'd definitely befriend her. Love of music and stuff uvu

I imagine they'd joke around and talk about their lives. Let's irritate the killer x3

Thomas: he'd feel for Thomas and he'd also be understanding but Bastian is extremely loyal when he makes a friend.

I imagine it'll take a bit and Bastian is more down it earth when it comes to being social and such. So who knows they might end up being real good friends in time.uwu

Neo: cool look but oh shit! I honestly think Bastian would have a bad time going against him. Hed be like flashlights dont work sooo....what do!

cool guy, sad past, hed feel better but wouldnt feel very safe around him even outside trials. He doesnt really trust a lot of the killers outside the trials in general.

Irene: ._. reminds him of his father so it's a no from him.

Would do everything in his power to piss her off just like he did him.

He will pallet stun her over and over and over. Learn that Yui perk just for her plus added with his pallet perk itll be a real hit.

Hope these are good uwu

[faiththefox]

The Sun of the asylum Chapter 2: Meeting the patients

Sorry its taken so long to post this Ive got school and there have been some big storms in my area so I have put my laptop on charge just in case. Anyways I hope you guys enjoy.

@uirene you wanted me to tag you with every chapter so here you go! lets start the story

@ask-the-new-killer (I wrote this a while back just check the Sunlily tag next time! I’ll try to tag you when I finally get around to the third chapter lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wait in the lobby of the asylum for the head nurse so I could find out where my on-site room is and get a tour of the building. I stand there for only a minute before a women her 50′s comes in with a very sour look on her face. She huffs at me before extending her hand out to me. “Welcome Miss.. Rose was it?” She says as I mumble “Its Tori.. rose is my surname” to which she ignores me. “I’m Miss Rachael and this is the Hills asylum the home to some of the famous killers in history more commonly know as the slashers. You are going to be replacing me as the head nurse of this facility so its best to give you a tour now before meeting your patients” She drones on as she starts walking. 

She lead me around the asylum showing me all the activity areas available to the patients ‘although she commented on the fact they shouldn’t have to have them for murders’ I think back as she showed me each of their rooms. It seems like all the brothers were roomed together while Billy, Micheal and Jason were put in their own rooms. The place wasn’t as big as I thought but this just means there should be better chances of getting closer to them right?  Suddenly, Rachael brought me to a room completely covered in Christmas decorations “This is billy’s special places.. as he calls it. This is where you bring him if his “fits” become to much.” She says bluntly before pulling me away and started leading me outside. 

There they were.. the Slashers. Micheal was throw flat rocks at what looked like a makeshift person. Bubba, Chop-top, and nubbins were playing tag and running all around the place. Bo was leaning on a wall looking very pissed off while his brother was sitting by the fence drawing in a sketch book. Jason was also sitting near the fence but facing more towards the woods with his shoulders slumped down almost... sad looking. Brahms was just sitting smack dab in the middle building a very sad looking castle out dirt but the weirdest thing was billy who was chained to a bench with a straitjacket and muzzle. I look over at Rachael who waves her hand out over the yard “Why don’t you go meet them while I go finish getting the last bit of paperwork ready for you then Ill show you their activity planner so you know what they do on which days.” She bluntly says again before walking back inside.

I start walking over to Jason cause something was pulling me over to him. I sat down in the dirt, getting my uniform dirty, before looking at Jason tilting my head. He turns and looks at me as I notice what he had been doing. In the dirt was a a childish drawing of a little boy and what looked like an older woman. My eyes widened as I realized that this was him and his mother. “Do you miss her?” I say softly as he kept looking at me. He looks back at the drawing before nodding with his shoulders slumping down more. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and smiled “I miss my mom to sometimes but all I need to know is that she loves me with all of her heart” I spoke gently before Jason hugged me surprising me. I forgot to meet all of the other slashers as I just sat with Jason telling him stories my mom told me about herself. Soon Rachael came back outside and walked over to us which made Jason tense up. “I see you are getting close to Mister Voorhees. Shall we head inside?” She says in her dull tone. I nod getting up as Jason turns back to the woods and his little drawing. 

We walked inside and did everything that was need before she lead me to my room. Giving me the key before walking away leaving me to my own devices so, I start to unpack and put all of my stuff away. As I putting away my Brahms costume my phone started ringing from my purse on the bed that I had just pulled out of my bag. I pull it out and check the caller I.D and surprise surprise it was my brother Alex “Whats up bro?” I say as I answer the phone. “Hey! How was your first day..? Did you get hurt?” He asked and I could hear the worried tone in his voice. I laugh before replying “No but Jason seems to like me now! I told him.. about mom” My smile faltered as I said the last part. Our mom had died two years ago during her trip around the world... She was walking around Paris and her heart-rate got to high... they couldn’t save her. Alex was quiet before I say “I didn’t get to meet the others so its going to be a crazy ride tomorrow.” He laughs halfheartedly. We chat for a few minutes about random things trying to get our minds off of mom for a moment because her death hurt us terribly. 

We said goodbye and I finished putting away my stuff before flopping into my bed and passing out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.  

~~~~~~~~~~The Next Morning~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the sound of loud knocking on my door. I jump up and walked over to the door opening it forgetting I didn’t change last night so I probably look like crap. At the door was a young nurse about 20, I guessed fresh out of college or nursing school. “H-hello Miss Rose... umm Miss Evans wanted me to tell you today is the day you get control to see how to do with the patients...” She says in a shy and nervous tone. I place a hand on her shoulder and smile “Thank you for telling me and call me Tori! Also don’t be nervous around me Im only older then you by 6 year hahah” I say jokingly. She nervous smiles back before rushing off to something. I shut the door and quickly see that my hair was a rats nest and my outfit was a bit wrinkled. I groan as I brush my hair out but decide that I wouldn’t have much time to change and headed out the door. 

I head to the dining room (it was to small to be a cafeteria and seemed more like a dining room to me) and see all the slashers sitting at the table but no food in front of them. “Hello I’m the new head nurse Tori! Sorry for the quick intro but why don’t you guys have food?” I quickly question. “I dont know you tell me? Man you are shit head nurse” Bo says making glare at him before walking into the kitchen area. “I’ll make something does anyone have any requests for breakfast?” I call out to me through the window thing as I put an apron on. “PANCAKES!” Three very hyper voices call out making me laugh. I quickly make a chocolate pancake recipe my mom used to make for me. Then I put the two pancakes from the huge batch on 9 separate plates. I brought two out and sat me in front of Jason and bubba before running back and trying to being the plates out as quickly as I can.

Everyone dug in quickly after I set all the plates down expect for Micheal, Jason and Brahms. I sigh walking back into the kitchen and making some toast for myself as I used all the batter for their food. After 30 minutes I walked back in to see everyone’s plates were clean making smile just a bit as I grabbed everyone’s plates to put them in the kitchen. I walk back in and smile “Ok guys today is a free day so I can fully get to know each of you guys!” I say with a happy tone. Everyone (expet for the ones with masks) looked happy and rushed off but billy grabbed my arm as I walked to follow the rest out. I only then noticed that he wasn’t wearing the muzzle or jacket today. “Flithy pig..” he softly mutters and I see that his eyes aren’t fully focus which made me a bit sad. I lead him to his christmas room and set him down. His face lights up and he starts playing with all the toys in the room. 

Billy finally got focused with a coloring book I was able to leave the room and start to check on the others. The first group I found was the sawyer brothers listen to the radio and playing with some blocks. I knocked lightly on the door frame when the music went to commercial making them all look at me. Bubba clapped his hands and run up to me hugging me practical lifting me in the air. “Whoa! Bubba can you please put me down!” I say laughing a bit with a smile which I guess he didn’t expect the me be happy? I could see his eyes widen behind the latex mask the replaced his original one. He giggled setting me down as his brothers started chanting “Bubba’s got a girlfriend behind him”. I smile and say “Just wanted to see how you guys were doing! and if you needed anything!” Bubba nods and points at the blocks before pulling me over to them. Chop-top laughs and says “He wants to play with ya! Good for ya!” as Bubba and I started playing for an hour before I had to go. Bubba was happy and waved as I left to go check on the others which lead me to the art room where Micheal, Brahms and Vincent. 

I watched Vincent work with the clay making a beautiful statue of an alicorn before I was snapped out of it by Brahms’s childish whining as Micheal grabbed one of the colored pencil that he wasn’t even using. I walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder like I did with Jason and the young nurse. “Is there a problem sweetheart” I ask defaulting the nickname out of habit. I could see Brahms’s eyes widen as he looked up at me from his coloring book on the table. He shook his head before turning his head back to his coloring book (which looks like greta and him making me sigh in my mind). Micheal didn’t even look at me as he worked on this beautiful looking mask so I left him alone. I left and found Jason by himself outside looking at the forest again. I walk up and gently put a hand on his shoulder like yesterday making him turn to me. “You missing her again?” I ask in a soft tone but he shook his head. He made a drawing of eyes “You want to just look at the woods because you like nature?” I guessed making him nod his head quickly. “Mind if I join you?” I ask making him nod as I sit down next to him. This was a good start as any I guess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FINALLY DONE IM SOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO MAKE THIS! IVE BEEN SO BUSY BUT HERE IT IS! HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! IM GOING TO GO DO RANDOM STUFF LOL!

Also She didn’t find Bo because he was hiding away from her so he didn’t have to deal with her. 

[mazojo]

Let’s Play

Sooo if you saw some of my previous posts, you know I've kinda gotten into webtoons and I binge-read another one called Let’s Play and I Looveeee. I will do a spoiler-ish review as of the chapters that have come out so far and and all the images and stuff included are from Mongie, the author of this baby.

Plot

So the plot basically revolves around Sam, who works for her fathers company coding and working on programming but her true passion is creating video games, more specially indie games. She creates this game called Ruminate and its all fine and dandy until super famous youtube Marshall Law plays it and jokingly says it kinda sucks so people and trolls go leave hate on her account so her developer score in this indie publishing website is almost 0.

Sam is disappointed nay this turn of events and tries contacting the company to help her score as its flawed but unfortunately nothing happens. Then we find out super Marshall Law is moving next door to Sam and she flops. He then later realizes how he messed up and as they start becoming friends (slowly but surely!) he is fixed on making it up to her becouse he is a cinnamon roll. There are also other characters involved, from Sam’s gaming crew which is hilarious, to her super hot and sexual tension boss, Charles who is trying to help her grow as a person and as a worker and we also have Lincoln which kinda has a crush in Sam and they’ve been friends for quite a while as Sam helped him overcome his dads death. 

The story is funny and filled with great moments, treating also mental health topics and the struggles of Sam discovering she may or may not have feelings for the hotties mentioned above ^^.

Characters

As I did with my Kiznaivers and I Love Yoo reviews, ill list the characters from my favourite to my least (I love them all so it sounds so bad to say the least!) including a song that reminds me of them. I won't list them all as their are many as you can see in the picture above but definitely the main ones <33

Sam

Angels - Owl City

Sam. is. such. a. mood. Like honestly, if you ever wish to know me and who I am as a person and how I work, read this and I am the literal reincarnation of Sam loll. She is very nerdy and suffers from anxiety, sometimes leading her to have asthma attacks. She really cares about those close to her and although she is quite shy and introverted, doesn't doubt the chance to jump in when someone she cares about is in danger. I have no words to describe her but I think I’ve found my long lost drawing form character.

Marshall

Lucky - Britney Spears

Yes, I choose a Britney Spears song for him, is it amazing? Y e s, do I regret it? N o p e. Marshall is just adorableeee. Like he is the literal reincarnation of a puppy and he is much more complex than what it seems? Yeah he’s got this bubbly exterior to himself but deep down he is dealing with depression and anxiety but hides it from anyone, to the point of literally breaking down. He is trying his best at making everyone happy and likes video games and ahhhh ??? I Stan Marshall.

Lincoln

Livin’ on a Prayer - Bon Jovi

Lincoln the embodiment of the dad friend, there I said it. He has such a pure soul and heart and protective aura around those he loves and he is so soft??? He struggled with his dads death and takes care of his brother (which makes a part of the guild Sam is with). He is a little oblivious but other than that Link must be protected at all cost and hopefully finds happiness at the end of the comic becouse if he doesn't I will riot.

Charles

Rude - MAGIC!

Charles is your typical cold but sexy filled with sexual tension moments boss character. He is Sam’s boss and what I love most about Charles is how he wants others to succeed, pushing them their limits to reach their full potential, something I think its quite admirable. Honestly in comparison to the other two boys I haven't connected much with Charles but I still really like his character and hopefully we are able to see more of him in the future!

Monika

Power - Little Mix

The image pretty much describes Monika lol. I decided to include her becouse although she is kindaaaa the antagonist, I feel like she isn't really that bad and honestly, her character is quite compelling. She is Marshall’s girlfriend and a beauty guru, so half of the time she talks about makeup-is things I quite honestly dont understand lolll. However she really cares about those near her and (cues alpha female aura) does her best to protect Marshall becouse she really does likes him, but due to the fame and their worlds they both manage, it makes things complicated at times. I hope she doesn't turn evil or something like that becouse I truly think she is good (or at least up till now) and hopefully she gets a happy ending too ~.

Ships

Sam x Marshall 

This was actually so hard to choose! Because I honestly ship Sam with Lincoln just as much but there’s just something about this couple that I just gahhh! They have this chemistry working over them and they complement each other so well too! Like Sam is very perceptive and a good listener while Marshall just fakes a smile every time and I believe she will be the one to notice something is wrong first <33 

Sam x Lincoln

AHhHHH I love Link so much?? And how he protects Sam and cares about her is so freaking adorable? I think their mutual support and understanding is what makes it one of the best and Sam clearly has some mixed feelings about him that she repressed for a while in order not to tarnish their friendship but now she knows that he likes her so ??? I hope Link and Sam end happy because they both have to be p r o t e c t e d.

Sam x Charles

As I mentioned before, I don't think I can compare Marshall and Link’s relationship to the one with Charles considering they have had more time together, I believe in the next chapters we will get to see their relationship increase. He is very protective and does whats best for Sam and they have this tension around them which gets Sam all flustered and its really cute. Its not my main ship but I’ll wait and see how things progress in the future.

Monika x Marshall

Okay so this is not one of the main ships and people often don't like this couple but I thought it was important to mention! As I said before, I think Monika is quite a complex character and they are both dealing with their own worlds and problems which may make it hard for the relationship to work and not seem toxic. Still, they both care deeply about the other and I know in the end, they would want to see the other happy soooo we’ll see how it ends ^^

Final Thoughts

I absolutely adoree this Webtoon! I’ll try to review the chapters as they go out like I love yoo giving my impressions and what nots. Here are some theories that I think may happen in future chapters too;

- I don't think I mentioned it but Marshall is really good at drawing and its kinda his passion but he hides it from everyone due to fearing failure. I think Sam in one way or another will encourage him to pursue his dream eventually drawing them closer, and as she needs an artist to help her with her next game, I am guessing Marshall will be perfect for that spot :333

- Charles will definitely appear more I think, most of the “romantic” moments have been with Link followed by Marshall leaving the Charles Stans in need of their baby <33

- I think Angela (one of Sam’s guild member and friend) likes Link?? I didn't talk about her much but in one of the latest chapters she gets flustered by him and I am not really sure? I'll definitely be on the look for that.

[yumenikkira]

not a dream - surgery 08/09/21

i want to briefly write about my experience before the details leave my memory. im writing this on august 11th, 2 days later.

the morning on august 9th 2021, i woke up at 7:30 am and was driven to the hospital by my mother, with my sister accompanying me. i checked in with the staff in the hospital and we all waited together for about half an hour.

when my name was called, i went by myself to walk into the preoperative area, and said goodbye to my family. i walked with the nurse down the very long room.

i passed by a number of elderly people on their beds. it was a sort of uneasy feeling. each of these beds were surrounded with a long green curtain that could be drawn to isolate and hide the room. if i had to guess a number, i think there were only about 4 or 5 of these secluded rooms.

she lead me to my area, and asked me some questions. she had a unique name but im struggling to remember it... luss? she gave me clothes to change into, and closed the curtain so that i could change in private. i set all of my clothes into a plastic bag they supplied me. i wore long white compression socks, with brown cushioned socks on top. (apparently i put these socks on upside down) and a green open smock which closes in the back with ties. 

after i was changed, more people came in to ask me questions. there were a lot of people coming in and out. the anesthesiologist was a kind, very old man named dr. rudolph. he just asked me medical questions. i believe another nurse, dana, asked me questions as well. 

dr. buchanan, my surgeon, came into the room as well. i saw him earlier in an orange mask, (his company branding is orange) but at some point he had changed into a more surgical green mask. he had an assistant with him, a med student who was shadowing him. i undressed in front of dr. buchanan so that he could make markings on my chest. 

it was a few minutes of him drawing on me with sharpie, and the three of us talked about unrelated things for a bit. it felt very casual and relaxed. i was not nervous at all yet. i asked dr if his other patients were usually nervous, and he said he had someone crying just the other day. i was feeling confident i wasnt going to cry. i asked him if he’d seen the movie repo. the dr hadnt, but the assistant did. it might be morbid to bring up that movie right before surgery, but it was on my mind.

after he was done, the dr left the room again. luss(?) and dana came back into the room. i lied back on the bed. i was talking to them about their nails, they both had nicely done nails. i told them i did gel nails for my family at home. dana said she had her nails done because she was going to see her granddaughter.

it was time to hook me up with the iv. im very nervous about needles, so i was looking away. dana talked to me while luss took care of the iv so i could take my mind off of it. the iv went into my hand, because thats a better position for the surgery. it hurt for a moment, but it quickly stopped bothering me. i thought it would have been more painful.

at this point, preperations were all in order. it was time to wheel me to the operating room. the two nurses brought up the bars on either side of the gurney bed and began to wheel me off towards another area behind swinging doors. at this point, i got really nervous, and i felt tears starting to form in my eyes, even though i was trying not to cry.

they wheeled me down a hallway, then into the operating room. i was on my back staring at the ceiling, so as i entered the operating room i saw very stark white, and knew exactly where i was. it felt eerie, and i was really scared. i never had surgery before.

things began to move very fast once i entered this room. they had me move myself off of the gurney onto the operating table. there were probably 6 or 7 people in the room moving around and preparing things, some of them asking me questions or moving me around preparing me. dr buchanan noticed i was crying. me took my hand and squeezed it while everything was getting ready. i thought about how this whole thing would be so much easier if i had a thing for getting cut open or something. LOL

dr buchanan told me people often dont remember being in the operating room at all, because the anesthesia causes memory loss. in my case, i remember it quite vividly. he gave me a code word to remember. the word was “butterfly”. ill tell him this when i see him again.

they placed an oxygen mask on me, which they said was oxygen and “something to help me relax”. evidently, that was the anesthesia. i was looking up at the surgeon and the anesthesiologist, attempting to talk to them a bit as i breathed through the mask. i felt myself getting slighty drowsy, but i wasnt feeling it very much. basically i was thinking, like, “this anesthesia aint shit”, but the next thing i knew i woke up back in the preoperative area, back on the gurney bed. 

i think at this point it was about 6pm. id been in the operating room for the entire day. everything was very blurry and hazy. to be fair, i didnt have my glasses, so thats probably why, lol. i felt myself waking up, but it was still hard for me to speak. my speech was slurred. however, i still tried my best to talk to everyone as they came by. i remember seeing the surgeon, and he said everything went well and my new chest looks great. 

a lot of the conversation i had at this point was very hazy. i think i must have put my clothes back on at some point? i believe it was luss as the last person there taking care of me. she helped me into a wheelchair and said my mom was on the way to pick me up. at this point, it seemed that mostly everyone had left, and just a few people were hanging around behind the desk in this area. she wheeled me out of the preop room and over next to the desk to wait for my mom. my phone was dead, so i just sat there and waited. i wasnt really in pain or anything, just bored. i was also bummed out because i wanted to take a post op selfie in the hospital. i should have taken more pictures beforehand, but i wasnt really thinking about it at the time.

eventually, my mom was there, and the nurse wheeled me out to the pickup area. another different nurse(?) there, a man, showed my mom how to drain my drains on either side. my chest in bandaged and under a surgical bra, with little drain bulbs on either side. 

they helped me hoist myself into the car from my wheelchair. surprisingly, i felt really good. i still feel good, even now. my pain is very minimal, and im able to get up and walk around easily. im hoping the remainder of my recovery will be just as seemless.

[haltestt]

━♡ guess the 20 YEAR OLD MAY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because PARK JAE-SUNG is just as SUNNY as the month of MAY. wait, why do they remind me of LEE WOO-JIN ( TARGET ) ? beyond that, they seemed SPIRITED and PATIENT upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of HAREBRAINED and WISHY-WASHY though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX # 2 / APARTMENT # 5 / FLOOR # 3 ; HE seems to have a lot going on with HIS job as STUDENT. ( qiu, 18+, they/he/she, est. )

i have an about pg that ill work on a little more but ill just write out a short little thing here to get the blog going ! ! SUMMARY/TRIVIA ! [⤍ park jae-sung ● 20 yrs old ● uni student  ● 179cm/5′10.5″ ] - likes to be occupied ;; fully the type to be cooking a full course meal at four am just because he was studying and just needed to do anything else. also the type to let anyone in to eat it ! - non-native ;; from the u.s.! it’s actually his first year in korea ever so his korean can be odd-sounding a lot as even though it’s his native language, it’s not actually the one(english) he knows best !! when speaking in english, he has a southern accent - money-saver ;; buys things in sets exclusively to save money!! he’s more of the frugal type tbh when it comes to things other than bills !! if he recognizes you pls expect him to have random things on him that he’ll offer you like a grandpa offering his grandchild twenty dollars - skillfully independent ;; after living majority of his life mainly on his own, jae-sung can do housework fairly well as well as cook !! not super well, but it tastes better than worse most of the time !!! - hug-bug ;; if you give him the go-ahead, he’s incredibly physically affectionate !! it’s to the point sometimes he doesn’t even notice, like placing a hand on someone’s back or placing his hand on top of yours ! though, since he’s in korea now, courtesy of his parents’ advice, he’s been trying to rein it in a little ! but no matter w who, he likes to hold hands or hug or link arms or give a bro kiss or anything similar !! - romance averted ;; it’s not that he’s trying to avoid thinking or anything about it, it’s that it honestly doesn’t have much place in his life at all, so it’s never the first thing to come to mind. unfortunately, he’ll gal-pal everyone, assuming everyone are just friends up until people tell him explicitly otherwise - indecisive ;; there really is no choice he feels 100% on. as soon as anyone suggests anything else, he’s quick to switch over, even if he already had a position. the things he can’t change on are things he’s always been mulling over - reckless ;; jae-sung loves to do whatever to distract himself, and it’s pretty obvious in how he literally leaps from building to building away from home. he has a deep love for freerunning, and he’s good at it too (even has a yt channel where he posts a lot of it!), though it doesn’t look it; he always has some bruises or cuts on him. he also loves to try out any sort of trick w any sport such as skateboarding or iceskating!! falling is just part of the fun to him - responsible ;; yeah, it’s a little weird to follow w this, but he really is !! he’s responsible in the ohhhhh crap i have to start on this essay now if i want to be done in time pls learn from me everyone :pensive: type of way. he more so encourages and helps other people to be able to manage themselves, however, sometimes he should really follow his own advice when it comes to self-care. ! WANTED CONNECTIONS ! [ i’ll have a pg up for this in a bit !! ] - family first ;; you’re family ! it tbh doesn’t matter what branch of the family you are or anything else, you’re family that maybe met jae-sung over a whatsapp or fb messenger videocall when y’all were young once ! or they can be super close, tbh i dont mind whatever !! - lending a hand ;; jae-sung has a habit of taking care of others first before anything else. whether or not your muse is consciously taking advantage of that, to your muse, jae-sung helps out by giving food or doing chores w you or letting you stay over or any other small job !! this can also work the other way around ! - opposites attract ;; yeah <3 maybe your muse is cold or the rebellious type or anything !! - guide ;; jae-sung is new to the city and your chara helps jae-sung go out and learn the areas around !! - buddies ;; i am already running out of ideas </3 but !! this is just someone (or multiple people!!) who jae-sung is constantly over at their place or they’re constantly over at jae-sung’s !! while they don’t have to enjoy every death-defying stunt jae-sung attempts, they still come along ! y’all are just buds who hang out !! - internet friend ;; the two of you have a history that’s mostly written !! we can work out details !! - lost and found ;; he dropped a notebook and when you saw it on the ground, maybe you picked it up, maybe not, you saw a bad drawing. the highlighter is not even in the pencil lines. he’s sort of embarrassed about it at first, but offers to draw a portrait of you anyways just to find anything to move onto - brother figure ;; to jae-sung, you’re a sibling figure. what that entails, if it’s an older sister or anyone, is up to you !! - anything !! ;; we can come up w anything or combine these or whatever !! im open to anything !!

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[ryukogo]

hi! i dont know if youve answered this already, but im really curious! how and why did you classify team gwen and team david as they are? did you use a guide to classpects by other people, or did you analyze the meanings of the classpects from the canon hs wiki?

oh man!! some people have asked but never publicly!! i’m glad you asked though!! the classpecting @fiddler-unroofed and i did for Team David and Team Gwen draws very heavily from the guide made by dahniwitchoflight among other things (though i did look through other blogs and their descriptions + the wiki itself), so what may not make sense for you makes sense for us!

(fiddle may or may not reblog this if she wants to correct anything i say because we talked about this so long ago, so pay attention to any updates!)

some of them get pretty long, so i’ll put it under a cut! [and warning: i know some people are triggered by the episode Reigny Day, so if you don’t want to read about that, please avoid Dolph’s description, which I conveniently put as last so you don’t have to read it! should you want to read everyone else’s!]

TEAM DAVID

Role Recap: David as Seer of Hope, Nurf as Rogue of Rage, Max as Knight of Doom, Neil as Sylph of Mind, Nikki as Witch of Breath, Space Kid as Heir of Space

-=-=-=-=-

DAVID, Seer of Hope (One who Invites Knowledge of Hope or one who Invites Knowledge through Hope)

- We pinned David as a Hope player from the start! Hope, if we look at it in Homestuck, appears to be the power of belief, and we all know how strong David’s beliefs are! He believes wholeheartedly in a lot of things - in Cameron Campbell being a great person, in Max being able to change, in Camp Campbell itself, the list goes on, so it was only natural he’d be a Hope player to us.

- It took a while for us to decide on a role for David, but through elimination and through making sense, he became a Seer. Seers understand their Aspect, and usually keep their party from making grave mistakes, according to the MSPA Wiki. 

- David as the Seer of Hope, taking into account the descriptions given by dahniwitchoflight, in this manner, would make sense.

I directly quote, aSeer of Hope will find themselves faced with many paths and choices for what to put their trust in and what to believe. Many outside sources will give them differing opinions about is truly real and The Seer of Hope’s challenge is to learn and see through the false lies and find the one true authentic path for them to take. Maybe they need to figure out what it is exactly that they truly believe in. They might have trouble deciding who they can trust to confide in, who they can really count on in times of trouble. It also might be as simple as they need to figure out what they like and what makes them happy.

That bolded line? Think about the last episodes of Season 1 and Season 2 - Order of the Sparrow and Parent’s Day, respectively. Those two episodes specifically highlight the situation in the bolded sentence - his belief in the camp and his love for camp even when everyone else seems to have abandoned it in favor of better things (Order of the Sparrow), and his belief in Cameron Campbell (Parent’s Day). The last one is a slight stretch, but I remember a post going around about David choosing Camp Campbell over Cameron Campbell, and I thought that was pretty accurate. I’ll update this post and link to it when I get the chance!

I found this particular paragraph by dahni highly appropriate for David in particular: “Regardless of struggles though, the Seer of Hope will be innately optimistic that they will be able to make the right choice. They have faith in themselves to be true or that will be able, even if they aren’t always able to see the right choices in others right away. Like most Hope players as well, Seers of Hope would be happy agreeable people, if a little naive or overenthusiastic at times. They might not always know what’s right, but they are confident that they will know when the time is right.”

-=-=-=-=-

NURF, Rogue of Rage (One who Invites Theft of Rage or one who Invites Theft through Rage)

- Nurf is arguably the special case among all of the people we classpected, actually, being already a nearly realized Rogue of Rage prior to the start of their session, just lacking in the god tier status. Why do we say this?

Nurf is a very self-aware character, aware of things people call him - a problem child, a bully, all that stuff. In his appearances over the two present seasons - where he has voiced lines anyway - we see he clearly understands that he has issues, and that he’s visibly the most adjusted in his family (Parent’s Day, compared to his mother, he is actually very much aware of the repercussions to lashing out and all that jazz.)

In this sense, Nurf has already risen to his challenge, or is on his way to becoming a true Rogue of Rage. Paraphrasing dahniwitchoflight, he lets himself be angry and upset at things - he’s already learned to be stubborn and unmoving, he just needs to learn how to not always be so.

“They stop viewing Rage as something negative that they can’t deal with and start seeing it as something necessary or justified or even something to treasure and take pride in. They learn to give and take constructive criticism and they learn to handle rejection and rejecting others. They stop letting others shut down their concerns or pacify them by telling them to lighten up or ease off or lol I was just joking.”

We’ve seen Nurf advising Neil to look into aggression therapy, and similar situations over the episodes. As I have repeatedly stated, he’s very much aware of his issues, and he’s trying his best, but he’s also, as he states himself in his character episode David Gets Hard, ‘just a kid’ - it’s gonna take a pretty long while before he gets 100% better.

-=-=-=-=-

MAX, Knight of Doom (One who Exploits with Doom or Exploits Doom)

- I’m surprised no one thinks Max is a Doom player. Doom is the opposite of the Life aspect, and quoting Dahni, “It is the bitter repulsion, the cautious pessimism and the necessity of obligation that limits you and what you can do in the world around you. It is understanding what you can and cannot change. It’s the sharp Black and White boxes and lines that everything in the world gets sorted into. It is the sadness and apathy of acceptance contrasted with the frustration and anger of limits. Doom sees what it wants, and lets it go, gives it to others, or just lets it be destroyed altogether. Things will be lost or destroyed, people will die or forget and things will happen that cannot be changed, so don’t bother trying.”

Max in the series is generally presented as a cynical child - it’s even in his description. He gets better from Parent’s Day onwards, from what we understand - his attitude in Night of the Living Ill is pretty different from, say, his attitude during Order of the Sparrow, but before that, he’s always seemed like a Doom player, being very much aware of the limits, what he can or cannot change.

“Doom sees what it wants, and lets it be destroyed altogether.” - This may be a stretch or a personal interpretation, but Max’s desire for his parents to care could be seen as a want, but because they don’t he lets that want be destroyed - he refuses David’s attempts at bonding with him because he’s already let it go (not that that stops him from hurting when he remembers that they don’t care, of course).

- Known Knights in Homestuck are Dave, Karkat, and Latula respectively. According to the Wiki, all the Knights seen thus far conceal their innermost selves - because of a physical “imperfection” or whatever. This can be attributed as well to Max, who’s revealed to actually want for his parents to care for once - his imperfection, which he hides through most of his actions over the series towards David, and occasionally everyone else.

A few key descriptions in Dahni’s paragraphs regarding a Knight of Doom caught my attention in particular - “A Knight is very skilled with using the rules and limitations of any game or session to their advantage. They skillfully fulfill any responsibility or obligation required of them with ease. They might use their natural caution and pessimism to make realistic choices and endeavors. They use and exploit any rule or limit that they can to their advantage. They might also be very good at exploiting any sacrifices made or any obligation or responsibility that they are held to. They might be very good at avoiding any unnecessary thing or person and are very good at recognizing when something is too futile to even bother with.”

“Out of all the Doom players, a Knight of Doom seems like the one most likely to sacrifice themselves for the greater good.“ Max in Cult Camp, anyone? He kept trying to convince David of Daniel’s cult leader shtick, but the man didn’t believe him, so he did it “Daniel’s way”, and threw himself into the purification sauna just so David could finally catch on that something was wrong - the greater good.

“A Knight of Doom can also expertly use and exploit fire, bombs and explosions to their advantage, maybe they create flashy distractions during fights. They might even use decaying or dying things to their advantage.” Hah. Camp Cool Kidz, using Space Kid as the expendable character.

-=-=-=-=- 

NEIL, Sylph of Mind (One who Invites Creation of Mind or one who Invites Creation through Mind)

- Neil was most definitely a Mind player from the beginning, and reading through the descriptions we couldn’t think of a better role than Sylph - fuck the gendering of the classes, we want Neil in a dress, dammit. Also, the description for Sylph is rather appropriate - “Sylphs will calmly, analytically and happily give their opinion all about their Aspect. They meddle, healing or fixing any lack of it they notice. ”

“A Sylph of Mind is one who encourages others to be more sensible and logical, to think things through just a bit more and don’t be so rash! Just wait and see every side of the situation before making a decision.” - Neil, towards Max and Nikki mainly, and to everyone else in general.

He’s not as rash as Nikki or Max, definitely - save for that one incident in Eggs Benefits, where he adopts what is assumedly his mother’s way of parenting (since we’re pretty sure Carl isn’t that way thanks to Parent’s Day). Generally he’s a very rational character, being the ‘smart’ character among the campers. He is very knowledgeable as a Science camper, and his belief in science only solidifies his status as a Mind player.

A Sylph of Mind invites creation of Mind or creation through Mind - with this line of thinking, Neil invites creation of Mind (or invites creation of reason - he is the most logical of the comedy trio, being the mind) or creation through Mind. Sounds very appropriate to me, but make of it what you will.

-=-=-=-=-

NIKKI, Witch of Breath (One who Manipulates with Breath or Manipulates Breath)

- I read the tags on the Team David reblogs, and I know someone out there doesn’t think Nikki is a good Witch of Breath. I present you this description of a Witch - “Witches are enthusiastic, confident and optimistic rebels. They break and change the physical and metaphysical “Rules” of their Aspect.”

“They want to be free and have fun and be in control of whenever they want to do those things, but they also recognize that not everyone is as free as them, and so they might try to take them along for their ride, giving them a taste of the freedom that the Witch would enjoy, but not necessarily the kind of freedom that the person they are dragging along would enjoy. They might even start to think that this kind of “freedom” and this direction would even be good for the person it was directed at, regardless of that person’s own wishes.

And this is where we see where the Witch of Breath can kinda go to the dark side, ripping up the foundation of someone’s life in its entirety, forcefully cutting them free of all bonds, putting them in a whirlwind of excitement and confusion and then setting them down somewhere lost and confused when they’re bored and had enough fun, almost like Tornadoes. But Witches of Breath can be good too, they just need to distinguish between someone unhappy and wanting freedom, and someone content to be in their bonds and obligations.”

Nikki is a Breath player because Breath players are frequently associated with freedom and the like - John, Rufioh, Tavros. Nikki loves the forest, loves being wild - when she joined the Flower Scouts the year before she came to Camp Campbell it’s said she was run out for not being ‘girl’ enough, and implied that she wasn’t able to ‘be herself’ there. The Witches in Homestuck canon - Jade, Feferi, Damara - all have great power over their aspect, and to imagine someone like Nikki wielding that over Breath, an Aspect related to change, to direction, to air in general, which is a free element in itself, is very good indeed. 

Nikki is very impressionable, and as seen in a lot of episodes, usually goes along with a lot of things her friends do - she follows the people she holds respect for, examples being Ered in Camp Cool Kidz, Neil in Mind Freakers, Max in a lot of episodes but we’ll use Into Town for this example since she follows him around instead of Neil, and even Neilbot (who she thinks is Neil) in Anti-Social Network. Her allegiance in this sense is like the wind - free, ever changing, but mostly loyal to her friends in general. This eagerness to follow, however, is especially exploitable by people who know how to exploit relationships - people, perhaps, like a Prince of Blood.

-=-=-=-=-

SPACE KID, Heir of Space (One who Invites Manipulation of Space or one who Invites Manipulation through Space)

- I think we can all agree Space Kid is the Space player. It’s even in his name.

- “Heirs naturally gravitate towards their Aspect or unconsciously seek it out. They huge amounts of Aspect related strength as well.“ Being the grandson of Neil Armstrong - and being Neil Armstrong Jr., essentially - , of course Space Kid gravitates towards space. It’s in his blood to love Space. When he’s not consciously reaching for the stars it’s still on the brain and in the heart, and a lot of his actions are dedicated towards reaching the stars.

- “They may be very easily manipulated by others egging them on with rewards of their favorite object or obsession. They might even be manipulated by their random and changeable nature making them very willing to try new things.”

Space Kid is repeatedly described as the ‘most expendable’ character, oftentimes the butt of many jokes. His character episode, Space Camp Was A Hoax, even highlights how Max more or less tries to make him feel nauseous about space through that montage of him and Max ‘training’. In Bonjour Bonquisha, it’s a short event, but Space Kid is seen doing the gallon challenge - easily manipulated. Night of the Living Ill - Max manages to convince him easily to give him his space suit (not that he got to use it, but still).

- Also. Space Kid is Neil Armstrong Junior. Neil Armstrong is the first man to walk on the moon, while Yuri Gagarin is the first man in space. Being the grandson of the first man to walk on the moon means it’s in his blood. He’s, essentially, an heir. Of something space related. Eh? Eh? I’ll stop now.

-=-=-=-=-

TEAM GWEN

Role Recap: Gwen as Bard of Time, Preston as Thief of Heart, Nerris as Maid of Light, Harrison as Mage of Void, Ered as Prince of Blood, Dolph as Page of Life

-=-=-=-=-

GWEN, Bard of Time (One who Invites Destruction of Time or one who Invites Destruction through Time)

- This one got tricky. We had classpected nearly everyone else and we still lacked a Time player. We considered Gwen to be a Time player, though, and it stuck. It’d be a pretty cute callback to her liking Doctor Who, though, wouldn’t it?

- To directly quote dahniwitchoflight again, “Bards also ghost their opposite aspects, so a Bard of Time would also act much like a Space Player, in the beginning anyway. They try to avoid destroying anything and aren’t likely to believe in Fate or Destiny, but more so creating or changing their own fate in a precise way.”

A good example of this? Gwen, trying to change her fate as a counselor in Gwen Gets A Job.

Another direct quote: “Maybe it’s inevitable that they will never be a good artist and will go on a destructive spree, ruining all the projects they once loved because they think it will never happen, perhaps even listening to sad music in the process. Though eventually, if they take agency of themselves and don’t let themselves be controlled by the whims of Space, which is also impatience as much as it is beginnings, they will get through their crisis and be patient with themselves again that yes, they are pretty good and they’ll get better eventually, a good end will happen rather than a bad one.” Gwen’s got many anxieties and insecurities on her own in CC canon. But like a lot of us wish would happen, she can get better and get through a good number of her problems because we love her and wish her a happy life.

- This one is a friend’s observation - they associate Time players with keeping shit together (besides Damara, obviously, since the shit was not kept together), and Gwen? She definitely tries to keep shit together in camp.

- Bonus info: we have plans for Time player Gwen, so :)c

-=-=-=-=- 

NERRIS, Maid of Light (One who Creates with Light or Creates Light)

- Obviously Nerris was a Light player. Light is primarily associated with luck and fortune, and Nerris is a DnD/PnP player - she relies on the luck of the dice to perform actions, doesn’t she? It makes a lot of sense for Nerris to have powers over luck and chance.

- Now, you’re thinking ‘why is Nerris a MAID? it doesn’t make sense!! nerris is no maid!!’ and you’re… pretty right, Nerris doesn’t seem like the Maid type (Maids in Homestuck canon include Aradia, Jane, and Porrim, for a comparison.) However, I did some research, and, if we’re following the inverse classpecting theory posed by bladekindeyewear, Nerris seems to be acting more like her classpect’s inverse, a Bard of Void.

Directly quoting dahniwitchoflight, “A Bard of Void as the other destruction class would also ghost Light as they destroy Void. They would be perceptive, attentive people and might like to hang around important or influential people. They might try to pop into the spotlight now and again to remind people that “Hey, I’m still here! Check it out!” They might super focus on a hobby or interest important to them or they might have a cool skill or interest that they want to be recognized for. They might be natural curious or nosy about a lot of things. They can act like a kind of satellite, hovering around others that they think are more important or influential than them. They might hide things from people, but make it really obvious that it’s hidden because they’re actually trying to drum up interest in whatever is hidden.”

Nerris, super focusing on DnD/PnP? Check. Wanting to be recognized for it? Check. Nerris, wanting to pop in the spotlight now and again? Also a check, though this one is built more on how we interpret Nerris - she’s part of the Performance Trio for a reason, and that reason is their love for the spotlight, wanting the focus on them. Nerris takes focus in S2′s Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak - or at least, tries to maintain focus. It’s supposed to be Nerris’s character episode, but she ends up sharing this episode with Harrison, and fights for the limelight with him during the majority of the episode.

In this line of thinking, Nerris, as a Maid of Light, rejecting her role the same way Rose does in Homestuck, goes on to ghost her classpect’s opposite, Bard of Void. In the end, however, should she eventually learn to accept her role as Maid of Light, these descriptions for Maid of Light become very appropriate for her:

“They might start out relying on all kinds of lucky charms and objects for any good luck and would heavily rely on superstitions.” - Her dice

“They would make their own luck and build up their own importance and influence.”

“They would be able to take something considered meaningless and give it new meaning, new significance. They would become amazingly aware and perceptive of the world and everything around them.”

- Also, Light is the opposite of Void. Who’s the session’s Void player? Harrison. Wouldn’t it be fine and dandy for her to be envious of Harrison here too?

-=-=-=-=-

HARRISON, Mage of Void (One who Understands with Void or Understands Void)

- “Mages will uniquely experience their Aspect, both good and bad. As a result, they gain a unique understanding of what their Aspect is or does.” Harrison has already experienced his Aspect, both good and bad - he’s an illusionist, and we all know he makes things appear and disappear for his tricks (good). However, he also made his brother disappear at some point (bad).

- “Mages of Void might constantly feel worthless and meaningless, like they’re totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and have nothing to offer. They may be unable to get anyone’s attention and be constantly ignored.”

Harrison, arguably, consistently experiences this, especially in Quest to Sleepy Peak Peak, faced against Nerris during the beginning parts of their adventure. He doesn’t even retaliate when Nerris calls him dumb and ugly - he just admits that it hurts. He’s a constant victim to Nerris’s barbs when it comes to stuff like this.

His character episode, however, Mind Freakers, shows that he loves the attention when he performs - he is part of the performance trio, and as such he has to have some love for the limelight, so when Neil tries to prove that his tricks aren’t real and that magic isn’t real, he’s genuinely worried about what the others will think. He’s afraid they will ignore him for the one thing he knows he can at least do semi-right - it’s shown that he takes pride in his skills as an illusionist (not so much his powers in making stuff appear), so to be ignored for even that little thing he uses to get others’ attention…

- To quote classpect-analysis, Mages are usually manipulated by their aspect, and, with Harrison’s aspect being Void, he has quite strong ties to the horrorterrors - which isn’t helped by the fact that he’s a Derse dreamer like all the players on Team Gwen. Should Harrison god tier, he would become someone to whom secrets meant nothing. He’d be able to see through any darkness, ignore any misdirection, and see in the nothingness what they need to see.

“The Mage of Void would also be able to stand more on equal footing with the horrorterrors, and likely could call upon them to bring the Void. They could also probably create illusions, and obscure themselves directly. In short, the Mage of Void has a very strong potential to be the one who brings the apocalypse to the rest of the session, and is incredibly skilled at knowing what others don’t want them to. Not a very cheerful class, but a very powerful one.“ Harrison has all this potential as a Mage of Void, but since he’s not very experienced yet, this isn’t possible.

- Harrison as well being a Void player is sadly a tragic joke… inexperience with his powers led to his brother disappearing, and so far, he hasn’t learned how to appearify him back yet.

- Our classpecting of Harrison as a Void player also ties in with how we classpected Nerris as a Light player, being the inverse aspects of each other. It’d tie in with their magical rivalry, and the envy Nerris most likely feels over the fact that unlike her, Harrison has real magic - this is paralleled in Campestuck, where Nerris ghosts the Bard of Void role, the inverse of her own classpect, in order to be better than the real Void player, Harrison.

-=-=-=-=-

PRESTON, Thief of Heart (One who Steals with Heart or Steals Heart)

- Fiddle herself admitted this was her projecting onto Preston, but, double checking it, the description for Thief of Heart definitely fits Preston.

- “Thieves have good intentions, and might be egocentric. They have natural confidence with their Aspect, but hide insecurities and hate being seen as weak.” Preston? Preston.

- ”They have a natural confidence in dealing with emotional and passionate people and in being truly unique to themselves.They are dangerously overconfident in themselves and their passions if anything.” We see a lot of this in his character episode in S1 - Romeo and Juliet II: Love Resurrected. He wrote and directed the whole play himself - dangerously overconfident, if you ask me. The poor boy can’t seem to chill.

- “Speaking of stealing Hearts though, I can see them being overconfident in emotional matters as well, ‘of course everybody loves me I’m great, so of course you’d wanna date me ;)’ or on another note ‘lol of course I can make that guy hate me watch this’. They can also be dramatic and overemotional beings, always feeling emotions in extremes. But something to be said about the Thief of Heart is that they are actually always very open and honest with how they feel and who they truly are and what they do and what kind of people they are. They might seem extreme at times, but they’re not lying to you. If they love you or hate you, you’ll know because they won’t shut up about it. “

One of the many characterizations of Preston has him as dramatic and overemotional (zero volume control, anyone?), and very honest. You see shades of this in Eggs Benefits the moment he’s sure Nurf can’t hurt him regarding the egg anymore: “I’M A HORRIBLE PARENT!” “You really are, Nurf.” He bluntly tells Nurf this, even after the guy pretty much beats him up. That’s him being open and honest about what he thinks about the whole thing.

-=-=-=-=-

ERED, Prince of Blood (One who Destroys with Blood or Destroys Blood)

- One of my favorites, personally, next to the Performance Trio because I am biased. The aspect of Blood seems to strongly refer to relationships and allegiances, and affinity and unity and all that jazz. The Prince class, on the other hand, has been shown to be about destroying with their aspect or destroying their aspect in particular. Combined, that means a Prince of Blood ‘destroys relationships or destroys with relationships.

- Ered as a Prince of Blood in this sense would work. We see in S1E4, Camp Cool Kidz, very strong evidences of her possibly being a Prince of Blood - after the campers usurped David and Gwen and took over the camp, the main reason the campers became divided was because of her in particular! She tore the campers apart - loyalties were tested, especially Nikki’s towards Max and Neil, being a part of the comedy trio.

Directly quoting dahniwitchoflight again, “A Prince of Blood would ghost Breath as they destroy Blood. They would be indifferent, unemotional, flexible, detached from anyone or the world around them and be extremely independent. They might have a tendency to separate themselves from others, not really feeling obligated to stick around or do anything with them and would hate actually being dependent on another person.” Does that not sound like Ered to you? The resident cool kid, just being cool like that. While not dependent on the other campers, she most definitely uses them as weapons when they are her allies - see Nikki, who she pits against Max.

Another direct quote: “But they could also destroy these same connections just as easily, liked hiring a mercenary. They would use the unwitting loyalty and bonds that others had for them to destroy and tear apart the bonds of enemies, or really anyone.” Again, Ered.

Now, I know what you’re thinking - “But that’s just Ered in one episode! You can’t base your whole classpecting on one episode!” But see, that particular episode is essentially an Ered episode - all the campers have their own camper-centric episodes, and Camp Cool Kidz is Ered’s, so it would make sense that a lot of her personality would be revealed in there. Ered is seen interacting civilly with a lot of the other campers in other episodes after Camp Cool Kidz, so we might be wrong. Still, it’s appropriate for Campestuck, and we’re going with this.

-=-=-=-=-

DOLPH, Page of Life (One who Invites Exploitation of Life or one who Invites Exploitation through Life)

- Poor Dolph. I like him a lot, he’s a very sweet character who didn’t deserve all those Hitler jokes that Roosterteeth made with him. While the Hitler parallels are inexcusable, he’s still, in essence, a child - he can change as he grows older. And, when he grows older, he can finally realize what the hell Neil’s problem is with him. Anyway.

- “A Page of Life would start out with a deficit in their ability to grow, their own power, or just their own status and wealth. They start out at the very bottom as the underdog. They don’t know how to handle wealth or power very well, and may wield any that they gain very clumsily at first.” Dolph’s character episode, Reigny Day, is unfortunately just a big Hitler joke, but if it is his episode, then at least a few facets of him can be gleaned from it. Given the position of counselor for the day, Dolph adopts the dictator-like persona, but as you can see it’s a poor persona - even if the judges for Counselor of the Year think otherwise. Dolph may have seemed like he handled that power well, but (god damn it, Roosterteeth) if visual indicators are anything to look at, he really wasn’t handling it well, especially when Neil ‘goes missing’. The visual indicators I’m referring to are the ‘crazy, stray hairs’ he gets as lightning flashes in the background. That scene.

“They think they do though, in fact they believe themselves worthy of more than what they currently have for sure, and just recklessly go along with any temptations that they might have. They think they are invincible or untouchable, when they’re really not. They also don’t have a strong grasp on the correct way to go about getting that status or wealth that they so desire. They think power and status means that they can just do whatever they want without consequence, and thus they act like they can get away with anything.”

Ugh. Even more Hitler parallels, unfortunately. Reigny Day is the prime highlighter for these aspects of Dolph. In Campestuck Dolph mellows out very slightly since Campestuck is set three years after CC canon (Max is 13 in Campestuck and 10 in Camp Camp), and thus these aspects aren’t as prominent, but they are still, unfortunately there.

“Since Pages are prone to having their temptations, their power and whatever status they earn exploited by others, they must be wary of anyone seeking to usurp what they’ve earned or own, or be wary of people directing them to do things that they wish to do, but don’t currently have the power to, while the Page of Life does have the power to do.”

Dolph seems very eager to please, and again, this is veering into interpretation territory, but over the episodes it seems he has some form of hero worship for a particular character. As the description above states, he must be wary of people seeking to usurp what he owns or has earned, because, perhaps, if he isn’t careful, the hero worship he has for the character may lead to his downfall.

Pages are powerful players, we know this - they just need to awaken their true potential, and Dolph is no different. He can potentially become very, very powerful - and if he’s exploited by someone who knows how to manipulate others to their own whims, he’s a dangerous enemy indeed, being the exploiter of Life itself. It’d be terrifying if someone - say, a Blood player - used him as a pawn for something other than winning the Game.

[askguyslikeus]

oh shit yall send lots of questions hoo nelly answering almost all of them under the cut ,,, im gunan try and answer more technical ones first then fun ones and ones about the mod later so u dont gotta scroll all the way to the bottom for the good deets

Hi! I'm still kinda new to the blog and I was wondering what are the 'do and do-not' kind question I should do? Because im sure theres always that one ask thats just Innapropiated, like that one of Michael 'taking advantage og high Jeremy' that was just not cool.  i got this ask a lot so ill be clear with yall. im just not a big angst fan? so sending michael asks about his anxiety nonstop and about how he had a panic attack in the bathroom over and over again wasnt that fun. usually if it pertains the musical though you should be find sending an ask about it? but sometimes i get asks that are like “jeremy ur nothing and how does it feel knowing u fucked everything up” like homie how i think its feels? how u think hes gunna react to that? i made this blog to negate a lot of negativity in my own life so i can promise u im going to be answering asks mostly positive always forever. that being said tho i sometimes get asks pertaining to a few things that ive dealt with in the past and these topics make me very very uncomfortable. dont send asks about these topics please. this is the no no list

-self harm, cancer, suicide, rape, parent death, car accidents, sudden death.

What was your inspiration for this blog? hoo boy well,,, ultimately i thought of them rooming together and got emotional and made a huge list of headcanons and was like ,,, why not run an askblog for a bit ill just abandon it after three asks lets have some fun. but somehow im still here and i got sucked in by the complexity of michael and jeremy. i know that sounds kinda silly but just, as someone who is dealing with a lot of similar things, like dependency issues and abandonment issues and depression and anxiety, having these fun functioning character to explore was such a gift for me. i believe honestly thats why im still here and doing this. being able to try and portray a healthy relationship and a healthy way of coping and growing has helped me a lot this past month and given me an outlet i didnt have before. TBH THO the main reason i made this blog if imma be real with u guys id because i didnt like the treatment of a lot of these issues in the fandom. it made me very upset to see depression used as an plot device and michaels dependency issues treated as romantic so i wanted to make a blog that had little to no angst. ANYWAYS somehow im still here ,,, gvrkjvrnkjfd sorry i rambled

honestly I just wanna say first that I love his blog and your art and you're so cool and kind!! a question would be (I'm not sure if you've answered this before or not) but is there like an on going story here, or is it mostly just answering questions with the characters set in this universe? (if that makes sense I'm sorry!) thank you, you're super awesome! ❤️  djrnjg first off thank u so much aaaa,, ive kind of answered this before but its ok its been a while since then! but um i do kinda have a story but how howdy i sure am dragging my feet. the story isn a hUGE OVERARCHING EPIC OF WOE AND THIS PERSON IS UPSET AND THIS PERSON IS MAD AT THIS PERSON its just michael and jeremy getting together. i have a plan and ive talked to a few people on how i want it to happen but ive gained like ,,,, 6,000 followers since then and im kinda nervous BUT ILL DO MY BEST but also please understand that i do this for fun for myself and if i dont get to it im so so so sorry woops

i know this has been said before but i'm really really happy w how you're handling so many aspects of their characters. i.e. michael being trans, michael and jeremy's anxiety, michael's dependency issues, and other stuff i'm too tired to think of. you made the characters have even more depth than they did in the play and i'm rly grateful for the way you're dealing w my favorite boys. (also your richjake is suuuper adorable) ahhhhhh thank u so much? i talked a bit about this on my main but im really glad people are happy with my decision on this blog because im suPER SUPER NERvous anytime i post an ask dealing with these things. (ask hachi or nate i always message them like freaking out and send them my scripts and asks and wait for them to tell me its ok before i post it omg) also like i talked about before i love,,, having these fun stoner gamer boys to explore these issues with. im honestly shocked by how many people also deal with dependency issues because when i first listened to the musical i was so overwhlemed by the song michael int he bathroom because i had never heard someone basically write “dependency issue: the song” and it felt so so so good to realize i wasnt alone in this pit of despair i fall into so easily aha. but im!! glad everyone is ok with this wild ride im on right now (also thank u so much i struggle writing rich and jake but i get so emotional cause they would TOTES call each other babe)

how come you just use sketch form for most of your drawing (sketches and uses sketch for the final result)? im ,,, not really sure what this is asking but i thnk its along the lines of why do i only sketch my answers?? and i do that because dude do u see how often i post and how lONG some of them are. i made this blog for fun and i love doing comics but i hate lineart and coloring and if i tried to churn out finished pics for every post id defs have given up a few asks in,, shrugs

I want to say I love your little comics they're so funny! How long does it take you to make a comic? Are any of them based on your experiences? Ok have a nice day!  thank you! i love my little comics too! it usually takes me anywhere from an hour to five hours if im dragging my ass or talking on discord while im drawing. it can be kinda exhausting but since i took my break ive also been like, starting long comics one day and finishing them another day which, before i would do it all in one sitting then post it hahha. AS FOR EXPERIENCE the first half of the lifeguard comic was based on real life! we were stuck stoned up there for like an hour or two? but we didnt have anyone to help us but we got down eventually!! the wendys comic is also something i did because man!! i need to compliment food workers if they do a good job!! ummmmm just like jenna i also have a friend that said HAHA BYE and moved to cali and she is also lIVING IT UP and doing really well for herself and shes very independent and shes very inspiring to me! hmm i think thats it besides i used to have movie nights with my dad all the time too except we would watch my fave animated movies and sometimes lord of the rings cause my dad loved that

What kinds of things can we NOT ask ? What kinds of things do you WANT us to ask ? i covered the what not to ask in the first question so!!! um if my askbox is open and u want to respond to previous asks ive answered for the boys that would be so so so rad. sometimes im done with a certain ask and i have nothing to add but sometimes ive got more to say but am looking for an opportunity! that being said it made me really happy that i got a lot of asks about pj? shes not going to the main focus of any more asks but!!! i was nervous to introduce her and im glad u guys like her shes fun to write. but overall just general asks i can make a big ol fun story out of so!! dont worry too much about what to ask, if its something ud ask a real person and not like “lol what if ur dad died” ur gunna be fine probably

Hi! Not a question but your blog is so sweet and refreshing! I actually really appreciate that you refuse angst, that stuff tends to rub me the wrong way in fandoms... Keep taking good care of these boys ! gggg thank u!!! it means a lot to me that a lot of people are backing me up on this! i mean if u are an angst fan there are a lot of askblogs that explore that!! so its not in short supply bmc askblog fandoms got something for everyone

Which drawing program do you use?? i use paint tool sai and my tablet is a cintiq !!

this isn't really related to the faq but that bakunawa boy reference was great I LOVE THAT FIC MAN!!! the line was originally a little diff in that ask but i changed it cause ,,,, i could,,,,

an art style question. how do you keep the design of characters consistent from frame to frame? my characters they look a lil different every time I draw em (or a lot different) and it tends to disrupt the flow of my comics/animations ohh boy hoo wee props for doing animations im too scared to give that a whirl but!! it helps that i draw all the panels for an ask on one canvas! so if my next panel is going to be the same character in the same spot just in a diff pose i keep the lower layer on just at low opacity so i can use it as a ref! that helps me a lot!

Sorry if I'm nosy or rude, but are you reflecting Micheal Anxiety, Panic attacks and depence? iii think this is asking if i reflect my own issues onto them boys? and if so then yes i do. i dont place any of my own personality or anything on the boys but i do use them as a way to help me learn how to cope with my own shit and i try to deal with their issues in the healthiest way possible while also keeping in mind they are flawed individuals aaa

what are your pronouns??? and maybe your main blog??  im a cis girl so she/her is good! and my main is squigglegigs! also that being said IF YOU SEE THE USERNAME SQUIGGLEGIGS ANYWHERE JUST?? ASSUME ITS ME?? i have a twitter and an instagram and my tumblr account 

((Hello mod will Michael and Jeremy eventually someday get together. I love them.)) if all goes according to plan yes! if i get overwhelmed and stop having fun on this blog then no! sorry thems the breaks but! i do want them to get together so HOPEFULLY

going off on that confrience on pornogrefy for birds, Im geussing jeremy has played Hatoful Boyfriend. am I wrong? well it wasnt intended as that ref and i dont know anything about hatoful boyfriend but i can see jerm finding it and playing it so, sure homie! the pornography for birds thing is a my brother my brother and me reference! i love that show and them boys so give it a scope!

I'm crying bcuz Michael said he's in love with Jeremy and it's beautiful yeah that boy is DEEP IN love with his bro bro

Any advice for running an ask blog?? (Ps i love this blog keep it up) personally whats worked for me so far is doing just sketches for art. honestly ive been able to work so much more and post so much more often while also trying to work on my expressions and poses! also taking my own experiences and shaping them to fit the characters has been SO MUCH FUN. th most important thing tho is,,, dont overwork urself dude. if ur having a fun time it shows. if ur just forcing urself to churn out material and its not fun? like shit we doing this for free dont push urself? idk idk overall being looser with my art and writing the dialogue before hand has been the most helpful for me for this askblog! ive run a bunch before including @ask-maz and ive run that sporadically for ,, three or four years? its so funny cause u can see my art style juMP AROUND SO MUCH but i love that blog and i only update it like every other month or so but?? i still like doing it and no on likes those posts but it makes me smile so ANYWAYS

~ok from here on its mostly just me replying to nice messages or people asking me personal questions that dont pertain to askguyslikeus so!!~

I just wanted to say I really really love your blog and just your art in general!! Keep up the good work and hope you're having fun! thank u!!! i am having fun and im glad u enjoy it!!

What other musicals do you like? :0  i really like heathers A LOT. i also like doctor horrible i know thats not technically a musical but i just relistened to it and im emotional. i like dear evan hansen but it makes me really sad so i can only take it in moderation! ummm rent? chicago?? music man? now im just naming musicals i was in rip. being in a musical fandom is a new thing to me? i was really into heathers last year but didnt really interract with the fandom at SO THIS IS SUPER NEW?? ive never been into a musical as much as im into bmc and heathers tho

tell us a little bit about urself!! u seem v cool i am squigs or fork!! im 24 and work fulltime as a barista at starbucks! i get high on the beach with my friend gwen a lot and drink wayy to many slushies, my tv shows are brooklyn nine nine and bobs burgers right now! i table at conventions sometimes and sell my art as merch and whatnot and i cosplay as a hobby as well. im pretty boring but i draw a lot and always carry my big sketchbook with me and im pretty sure its given me back issues BUT OH WELL HAHA also i am very not cool THE TRUTH COMES OUT

Who do you most relate to from bmc and why? like ,,, a mix of michael and christine with a sprinkle of jeremy i guess ahaha i relate to michaels dependency issues and overarching positive attitude and love of music, i relate to christines bright disposition and the need to not stick to one set thing? like she loves theater cause she can be sO MANY PEOPLE and like same homie thats why i cosplay. and jeremys need to be likes while also ability to put himself out there is very relatable. i also identify strongly with his dad issues idk idk whats good

Also -- just thank you for how you handled all the panic attack and anxiety attack asks. I used to deal with anxiety attacks multiple times a day and it just was really nice that it was positive and not them having one. Thank you, sincerely. ahhhhhh ur so welcome i,,, have anxiety and it sucks and i deal with panic attacks like everyday at work so i dont really wanna come home and draw someone having one i guess? im glad its helping other people too tho!

Dude- I love your art? Actually so much? It's... I love it. The whole sketch-ish way your art style is, and the way you color, and the expressions! I'm so glad I found your work - you've given me so much inspiration. Keep doin what you're doin and I hope you have a good day! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANytime any one compliments my expressions i die cause i legit made this blog to help with that as well ,,, like dam

im lvoe ur art style b o i :0 !!!!!!

Mod, I love you so much I love you you have my soul and my love and my eternal gratitude thank you and I love you (This is the guy who was excited about PJ on your ig live stream a while ago and I love you) !!!!!!!!! im so happy u like my content omg and that u like pj im so glad!! shes a good bean

I just wanna say... I'm crying over that post about Michael and his anxiety? cuz I know how it can feel that you're only your flaws and weaknesses, but Michael just tells that to screw off in the most wonderful way and I'm?? thank you so much for that post, I bookmarked it for future times when I can't look past my depression... honestly, that post made my day (along with every other post on this blog), thank you for being such a lovely part of this fandom ,,,, im,,,, im scared of a lot of this fandom tbh but if i can be something good that come out of it and my love of these boys and desire to show them functioning together in a healthy way can help other people its so much more than i ever thought id ever be able to do. i am blown away everyday by the support ive been given on this blog and i might be crying right now because i never thought id be able to touch other people like this and i just. im really glad yall are here with me for all this.

(To the mod: You are a beautiful person that I highly respect. I love this blog and what you set out to do. thanks for giving something that makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to everyday, keep up the good work! ❤ ) hey im still crying from the previous ask aaaaa im honestly so emotional

what are ur true feelings for wendy's??? i fucking love wendys man thats some top tier fast food right there

what fast food restaurant do you think has the best nuggets WENDYS HANDS DOWN

do you have a favorite movie? paranorman makes me very nostalgic and ive seen it like eighty times and used to watch it with my dad a lot and i love it

I would just like you to know that your Wendy's comic prompted me to pull the same thing with a bakery in the town I'm visiting and the baker got so excited and happy, so thank you for making that comic because I made that woman's day. GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME WHEN IM WORKING DUDE LIKE IM SO GLAD IT MADE U DO THIS!!! IM SMILING REALLY BIG!!

chocolate milk or strawberry milk? or plain? woops i hate milk im so sorry

do u love michael mell with all of ur heart, mod?  i really truly do man what a fucking good ass character

hi squigs i love you! i love your content too and i hope u have a good day pal :>  WHAT A SWEET BEAN!!! THANK YOU?? OMG

I'm just saying that recent ask you did with Michael really hit me hard because I really related to it and I started crying because it made me realize that I've been pining my self worth on everything my anxiety causes and I'm so much more than that. Thank you, so much for that I really needed it because I'm in a really bad place right now. <3 -for the mod i legit cry everytime i get asks or dms like this cause once again the idea that im helping other people is so ovwehelming i love you??? i let myself just be”depressed” for ahwile and by that i mean i just,, let my sadness consume me and i was scared of getting better cause the sadness was all i knew for so long and just. its so easy to think u are ur illness but you are so much more. soooo much more man.

I relate A Lot to Michael so the way you portray him in the blog is really good, and I think it's really awesome you refuse to like?? do terrible stuff and answer bad questions just bc people wanna see that. You run this blog really well 👌  AHHHH THis is the biggest compliment thank u so much ,,, i get real anxious bout this blog soemtiems but then yall send me sweet things like this and its worth it man

Hey mod, just know you're a really cool person. Thanks for running this blog in the first place. Keep doing the great work.  thank you!!!! for ur support!!!! 

not really a question!! i just wanted to say your posts on this blog always brighten my day and you're really an incredible artist and person, keep rockin on my dude!! *clutching my heart* the fuck this is so sweet

1 .I just wanted to say your blog is really awesome! It's very lovely. I also like how you made michael trans and like handled it? (just with how all the characters treat him and stuff its v nice). Your art is super duper! Thanks for running this awesome blog! 2. Hey! This isn't a question but I wanted to say that I appreciate michael being trans!! As a trans boy it's just rly awesome to see something like that casually thrown into an ask blog without making it a huge weird deal :D immm,,, i kinda really love the idea of michael being trans cause a lot of my trans male friends are actually pretty confident in their skin and michael is a very confident character? and u rarely see that with trans representation and its so refreshing to see it portrayed well. im trying to do that here but again if! i do anything wrong let me know!

how did you first get into art? (also i really love your blog, it's amazing!) ive been drawing as long as i remember! ive got mad adhd and wasnt diagnosed until late in ym life so i would just draw nonstop in my classes ahaha i used to read the sunday comics a lot and they really inspired me to try and make comics of my own too!! (and omg thank u) 

someone also asked me if i went to church or was religious but tumblr ate the ask but i used to go to church a lot as a kid but im currently not religious at all aaa

ok holy shit that was a lot but thanks again to everyone i legit cry a lot about how supportive u all are thank u so much aaaa