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protect-namine · 5 months

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I was thinking the other day that man, kokuto neji is such a character and I haven't liked a writer character like this since... shang qinghua?

which naturally led me to this thought: jj fic with svsss-style au where neji transmigrates/gets isekai'd into the world of havenna. as domina, of course.

it's extra fucked up imo because at least when sqh transmigrated in his book, he made up all of those characters and they mostly stayed in the realm of fantasy. like, sure, lbh was kinda based on himself in some ways and mbj was his ideal fantasy, but they still mostly stayed fictional, you know? sqq (sy) had to fix his plots because the characters sqh wrote strayed too far from their original plotlines

but theater makes a fictional world a bit too real and personal, especially when you use real people as inspirations for your writing. with neji, he'd be looking at rukiora and see three different people (mitsuki acting as rukiora; rukiora who was written based on a younger version of neji; rukiora who is her own person in this weirdly real world of havenna). neji would see fugio and to him that is both sou acting as fugio and the fugio who grew up with poison flowers. miguel is both fumi and the guy who ran away from his neshiromi fields. the only constant would probably be chicchi. she is too much like kisa in that... well. neji didn't really have a backstory for chicchi. chicchi is a blank canvas just like kisa is as an actor.

anyway. yeah, very sv-style character arc where neji, much like shen yuan in sv, is forced to humanize the villain. except this villain was his creation and is also tied to a bunch of personal issues for neji that he Doesn't Want To Think About and also he doesn't? really understand the character he wrote tbh?

isn't art supposed to process your emotions for you!! why must he process these himself!!

can you imagine neji, who always casts himself as a seer of some sort (fortune teller, ushinoko) or someone who generally has some control over his future or his "creation" (who is mary if not just another side of neji anyway; she's takihime redux, and takihime is also. neji). imagine this dude being transported inside the play he wrote but he doesn't understand it and he has no control over it and everyone's acting both in character and out of character. he both knows and doesn't know these people. they're fictional but also... real? does he treat them as real people? is domina real? he wanted his actors to imbue parts of themselves into his characters. are these people really just characters from a script? are they his quartz classmates? is he allowed to even hope that that's the case?

it's both THE improv exercise of his dreams and also. a nightmare

#mine musings #liveblogging jj #jack jeanne #i do kinda want to write this eventually. like separate from a njmtsks fic #oh god. not me wanting to write a fic about a story within another story. oh rama havenna...#we can even throw in the whole prayer theme. like yes the priest preaches in a godless town and he carries a bible but hear me out #what if the god he's preaching about is himehiko instead #like. prayers and confession as offerings to a theater god. said theater god put you in your own play to “help” you fix it bc you #as the scriptwriter don't even understand anything about your own play #i kinda envision this as a neji & kai fic #though neji mostly struggles with rukiora and chicchi and the way domina prevents him from reacting authentically #neji knows everyone's backstories and inspiration but them BAM he has to face chicchi and he doesn't know anything about her #bc he was banking on kisa making chicchi her own character and being the 'transparent vessel' that helps everyone improve #and also he just had zero notes about chicchi lmao #neji every night at pontartia: is she being ooc right now or is this how chicchi was supposed to be all this time #like remember that time when he said to sou that he only realized what mukai's character was about after kisa got her act together #it's happening agaaainnnnn with chicchi #meanwhile rukiora hates him soooo much and neji is sad that he can't even confess about this to the priest bc it would be ooc for domina #mikki hates him!! except that's not mikki. but she looks and sounds and acts like mikki!! and also like a younger version of neji!!#he'll look to jire and he's all sad and mopey and neji is like. suzu having nuance is GREAT but also suzu not being cheery feels so bad man #where's my moodmaker? hachipochi missing hours :(#he tries to talk to sou but that's not sou that's fugio and also. fugio only cares about chicchi #domina barely even interacts with miguel so neji has to devise ways for domina to talk to him while being in character #but the minute he gets close rukiora is there and miguel would never talk to someone that makes rukiora upset. go away madame!!#neji is left to commiserate with otori/facchio and himehiko is laughing in the background

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avirael · 1 year

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FFxivWrite 2023

Day 19 - Weal

It had been the fourteenth summer of Rael‘s life when one morning they woke up, looked at themself in the mirror and realised that something needed to change or they would end up unhappy for the rest of their very long life.

It had been almost a year now since two of their best childhood friends had been taken away. Taken away sounded crueler than it had been, they had left willingly and in anticipation of the new life as Wood-Warders that awaited them, but from Rael’s perspective they had been ripped out of their life from one day to the other.

A long time Rael had spent wishing that they could join their friends but they knew that their role was meant to be a different one. A role they started to fear more with every moon that passed.

It‘s not like Rael hated the Rava‘s way of life or their village. They loved the Golmore Jungle and their home town but sometimes it all felt like it was going to suffocate them. Rael dreamt about what may lie beneath the borders of the forest and the adventures that waited there, while the days in their hometown were mostly uneventful, one like the other. But the idea of leaving all of this behind scared them all the same.

When their friends had left there hadn’t been much difference between them and Rael yet, but slowly Rael‘s body was starting to change, and they began to feel like none of this was right.

They did certainly not dream of being a boy, that idea seemed equally repulsive as the imagination of what Rael’s body would look like in a few years. Rael didn’t know what to want or how to feel, but wanting nothing at all couldn’t be an option, right?

Rael had tried to talk to their mother about how they felt and to their closest remaining friends too, but while most of them had been kind and patient, Rael was afraid that none of them really understood. Slowly Rael had started to turn away from the other Rava children and instead found peace in the forest and company in the creatures that lived there.

That particular morning though as they looked into the mirror while tying a cloth tightly around their chest, hoping desperately that it would keep their breasts from growing, Rael made a decision.

Just as they had finished putting on their clothes a raven landed on their windowsill and announced it’s presence by loudly pecking at the wood. For the first time it had appeared a few months ago as Rael had once again spent the afternoon in the forest and since then it returned quite frequently to keep Rael company on their walks through the forest or watched them from a nearby roof while they went through their tasks and training at the village. It had become a dear companion for Rael by now and they had named it Frelsi - Freedom - because the bird was free to fly where it wanted to while Rael themselves was sentenced to remain in this village for the rest of their life and grow into a person, into a duty, they hadn’t chosen for themself.

As Rael greeted the bird it fluttered over to the dresser and cawed at them before looking into the mirror. It blinked and turned its black feathery head this way and that. Rael wondered what it was thinking. Then it looked at Rael, cawed again and took flight back out of the window and into the forest. As they watched Frelsi vanish into endless green of the trees Rael suddenly knew what they had to do.

Usually every morning they trained with the other young Rava girls. The women taught them in the use of all kinds of different weapons and also how to hunt. But Rael’s main talent had always been magic, a trait they had learned from their mother. From an early age Rael had been naturally gifted in the manipulation of aether and sometimes even thought they could hear whispers in the rustling of the leaves or words in the chirping of the birds.

That morning Rael skipped the weapon training and went straight to the little clinic where their mother was tending to the wounded and sick. She had been surprised to see her child and scolded them for skipping their lessons but Rael ignored her words.

Instead they announced with unwavering determination in their voice: "I want to go to the Forest Sanctuary and learn from the Green Oracle."

It was said that in the middle of Golmore Jungle, where the forest was so thick that sometimes even the light of the sun couldn’t reach the earth, lay an ancient holy place with roofs of leaves and halls carved into giant trunks and stairs that reached up to highest treetops of the jungle. Only the strongest of the Rava woman were allowed to guard this sanctuary and apart from them people only visited it in the most dire emergencies.

Rael had heard rumours of the place and it‘s extraordinary mages, above all of them a person that was called the Green Oracle. It was said that the Green Oracle was a Rava much older than any woman in Rael’s village but with the appearance of a young child and their magic was so powerful that they could hear the will of the forest itself and sometimes even predict the future.

"Don‘t be silly, Rael.", their mother had said. "The way to the sanctuary is very long and they would turn you away anyway. Your magic is strong, I agree, but you’re too young and inexperienced to be chosen as a guardian of the sanctuary."

"I don’t want to be a guardian.", Rael had answered before finally revealing the truth. "I can hear the voice of the forest and it is calling for me."

The bowl Rael‘s mother held in her hands had landed clattering on the floor. For a moment she just stared at her child with wide eyes before slowly nodding. "I see… The way you sometimes look at the trees and the creek and the birds, like you understand them better than you do the other children. I feared it might come to this…"

"Feared? Why?", Rael asked surprised.

Their mother sighed. "The Green Oracle is the only one of their kind and it is said that they live at least twice as long as a normal Rava would. Only once or twice every millennium a child with their gifts is born to take the place of the former oracle. I don’t want such a lonely, long life for you."

Rael had just tilted their head and said: "But alone is not the same as lonely and I don’t mind being alone."

For a moment she stared at Rael but then their mother sighed and went to speak with the oldest and wisest of the other women. The rest of the day their village had been in turmoil. No matter where Rael went suddenly everybody seemed to eye them and whisper in hushed voices when they walked by. But in the evening their mother returned to their home and announced that they would leave together at dawn.

She hugged her child and handed Rael a small backpack. „I thought that maybe those will suit you more.“ Rael peaked inside and found the clothes they usually gave to the boys leaving town to become Wood-Warders. Rael wondered if their mother had misunderstood who they wanted to be but the gift made them inexplicably happy nonetheless.

The journey to the Forest Sanctuary took several days and for a while the forest was so thick Rael couldn’t tell anymore if it was day or night. Without their mother’s guidance they would have been hopelessly lost. But at some point the jungle started to feel different, more ancient and more powerful. From there onwards it was like something called Rael, guiding them into the right direction, and only an hour or two later they stepped into a glade filled with flowers more beautiful than Rael had ever seen.

On the other side of the glade the trees curled into impossible shapes and formed a gateway leading into the heart of the forest. On silent wing Frelsi emerged from the trees, flew a little curve and landed on Rael’s left shoulder. Suddenly a strong gust rolled through the wood and seemed to urge Rael to keep going.

As they stepped across the glade towards the entry to the sanctuary, two awe-inspiring Viera women stepped out of the shadows. They had without doubt been there the whole time but had remained impossible to be seen until then.

"We awaited you, Rael Hyskaris.", one of them said. "Please follow us.", the other added and led them through the wooden gateway.

The sanctuary unmistakably belonged to the Golmore Jungle, or maybe the Jungle to it? They looked similar but at the same time the sanctuary felt like a mystical dream version of reality. Nature and architecture went hand in hand here and it seemed impossible to tell where one stopped and the other started. Rael could feel the air sizzle with magic and ancient secrets.

For a while they followed a leafy hallway to both sides framed by identical trees like the pillars of a temple. Their branches formed a roof of deep green leaves through which the light filtered in warm beams. At the end of this hallway was a small creek, that meandered through a handful of tall willow trees and all kinds of forest creatures eyed them curiously. Sturdy roots grew out of the forest floor and were artistically woven together to small bridges leading into various directions.

Finally they reached the entrance to a cave veiled by vines with blue and white flowers. The entrance was pitch black but the further they stepped into the cave more and more luminous plants and fungi started to grow and illuminated the tunnels.

After a few minutes a bright light appeared ahead of them and as they came closer Rael realised that they had reached an exit leading onto another glade. The meadow was perfectly circular and surrounded by ancient looking, broad trees with snow-white bark and leaves in every color one could imagine.

In the middle of the meadow, placed in a small pond, stood a delicate pavilion elaborately crafted out of the same white wood and under this pavilion sat a small Viera. They had long white hair, sun-tanned skin and were dressed in a dark green robe streaked with white and golden patterns. It seemed impossible to tell wether they were male or female, they looked about Rael’s age but at the same time something about their posture and the gaze of their milky white eyes seemed ancient and omniscient.

"Are you the one the wind told me about? Are you Rael Hyskaris?", the Green Oracle asked with a voice that sounded very young and incredibly old at the same time.

Rael nodded firmly. "I am."

"And you think you can hear the voice of the wood?", the Viera questioned further.

"I do.", Rael confirmed.

The oracle smiled serenely. "Step closer, my child, and we will see about that."

Rael looked at their mother who stood beside them. She nodded encouragingly. Slowly Rael climbed up the three stairs leading onto the pavilion and the raven on their shoulder hopped down to the floorboards with a small caw. For a moment Frelsi looked at the viera sitting on the floor and the viera looked back at it. Then the bird almost seemed to make a little bow before it fluttered away and sat down on a colorful branch at the side of the glade.

“Sit.”, the oracle spoke quietly and made a gesture towards a light green cushion beside them. Rael did as commanded, their gaze reverently lowered.

A warm hand tilted up their chin and the milky white eyes of the oracle stared deeply into Rael‘s soul. "You came here for your own good.", they finally spoke and Rael felt caught by their words. "But as an oracle your focus will have to be the well-being of the entire forest and all the creatures living in it. Do you think you can do this?"

Rael shivered and answered honestly. "I hope I can learn how to fulfill this task."

The Green Oracle nodded. Slowly they turned around and then presented Rael with a small crystal bowl filled with an orange liquid.

"What is this?", Rael asked.

"It is the nectar of the blossoms of the most sacred tree in this forest.", they explained calmy. "If you drink from it and you truly are what you claim to be it will strengthen your gifts. But if you are not, it will drive you mad and my guardians will have to kill you for your own good."

Rael nervously glanced from the liquid to the oracle, who observed them and asked: "Does this scare you?"

"No.", Rael answered and shook their head. "I will drink it."

"But I have to warn you of one more thing.", the oracle explained. "The powers this nectar grants come at a prize. The moment you drink this, you will stop to age and never grow a single day older ever again for the rest of your life. You will never be able to have a normal life like any other Rava woman. Are you sure that this is what you want?"

For a last time Rael imagined themself - herself - as a grown woman of her mothers age, a fierce warrior defending her village or a healer just like her mother, maybe with a bunch of little Viera children and a lover she will only be allowed to see once a year.

Rael shuddered.

This was a possible future but they were certain that it wasn’t their future.

"You are the Green Oracle.", Rael said firmly. "Don‘t you already know the answer to this question?"

The oracle smiled. "I do. But I have to hear the words from your mouth and make sure that you know you had a choice."

Rael glanced back to their mother one last time and thought about the wishes she had for her child but their mother just smiled at Rael despite all of her worries. Rael nodded: "I am aware of my options and I choose the path of the oracle on my own free will."

"So be it.", the Green Oracle said and offered the crystal bowl to Rael, who carefully took it, raised it to their lips and then without hesitation swallowed the nectar in one go. It tastes almost like honey, just a little spicier, Rael thought, as the oracle carefully took the empty bowl from their hands.

Then suddenly a burning pain shot through their head and made Rael gasp for air. They convulsed and collapsed to the floorboards of the pavilion clawing at their head with both hands, their usual amber eyes glowing bright white.

For a moment Rael could hear their mothers voice screaming their name and the nervous caws of a raven mixed with the sound of fluttering wings. Then they heard nothing at all and every sound of the forest at once and dozens of images quickly flared up in front of their eyes before lingering on fire and flames raining down onto the Golmore Jungle.

After a moment Rael felt a hand on their forehead and suddenly everything stopped. They blinked and saw the Green Oracle leaning over them, Frelsi on their left shoulder curiously tilting it’s head. "What was that?!", Rael exclaimed and tried not to flinch away.

"I have to admit that I did not expect such a strong reaction.", the oracle stated thoughtfully. "What you saw was a vision."

Rael picked themself off of the floor, still shivering, and gasped: "I saw the forest burn!"

"Indeed.", the oracle nodded sadly. "I saw the same vision you did when I touched you. Just a little clearer than you I assume. It was a vision of the future. A future in which not only the Golmore Jungle, but all of this world will be destroyed."

"Wh-what?", Rael stammered fearfully. "What do we do now?"

"It was only a possible future.", the oracle explained trying to calm the young Viera down. "One that can still be prevented."

"But how?", Rael asked. "What can we do to stop such a catastrophe?!"

"All I can do is teach you the most important skills to control your powers." the Green Oracle answered. "Stopping your vision from becoming reality is something only you can do."

"Me??", Rael shrieked in panic.

"Yes, you, Rael.", the oracle put a hand on Rael shoulder and immediately Rael started to feel calmer again. "But to stop this fate, you will have to leave the forest."

"Leave!? But if I leave I won’t be allowed to ever return!", Rael said with another wave of panic flaring up inside them.

"Calm down, child. Fear is a bad advisor. It will only cloud your judgement and make you hesitate when you need to act.", the oracle took both of Rael’s hands in their own. "You are to become an oracle of the forest and the forest commands you to leave in order to save it. You will not be exiled. One day, if you can fulfill your task, you will be able to return and resume your training with me."

Rael let the information sink in and then slowly nodded. "I understand."

"You will have to learn as much as you can, so hopefully, when the time comes, you will know what to do. It will not be easy. There will be times of pain and sorrow and sacrifice, but you will have to endure them. For the well-being of all of us and to save every single living thing on this star."

"I will do my best.", Rael offered.

"May your best be enough... ", the Green Oracle said. "Say goodbye to your mother and then we will begin your training at once. There is no time to waste."

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