#but i know i'm never going to. so i guess i have to keep going to grad school instead.

[copperbadge]

I found myself wishing the other day that humans had to sleep for an hour every 2-3 hours. I think this would solve a lot of problems and create a bunch of interesting new ones!

1. Publicly available places to sleep would be commonplace because you'd want to just sleep where you are and keep getting stuff done. You don't want to be commuting to work every 2 hours for example. So you'd do like three waking shifts and then go home for a while, and you'd have a comfy place to sleep at work.

2. I would never have to spend more than two hours doing any one thing and if I did I'd get a break in the middle and wouldn't have to come up with an excuse to go.

3. Clothing would need to be mainly sleepable. Goodbye business casual! Also people who hate getting dressed up fancy (ie me) would have their sacrifice properly appreciated since getting dressed up takes time and demonstrates commitment.

4. Movies would never go more than two hours without an intermission.

5. On the downside, studies have shown that one of the biggest perils to the health of a person in the hospital is the number of times staff changes over while they're there. More handoffs of patients does correlate with more medical errors. If you're handing off every two hours, or four hours at a push, either a bunch more people die, or medical communication has to be a lot better....

6. Which is actually an upside I guess. Probably extends to shift work too, like heavy construction and such.

7. Insomnia in this sort of situation must REALLY suck, though.

8. I suppose it would also suck for people who are Bad At Mornings, I've just vastly multiplied the number of mornings you have to deal with over the course of your life. If you live to the age of 80, you will have had about 29,000 mornings. If you had to sleep eight times a day, you would have like 230,000 mornings.

9. We would probably do something terrible to the ecology of Earth in order to grow enough coffee to deal with that.

10. Driving in traffic or taking long road trips might be logistically complicated. Most plane flights would need like four teams of pilots. Might lead to more mass transit, though.

11. Marathon running just got harder, but I know marathoners and they're all deep weirdos to start with so they'd probably embrace the challenge.

12. I get terrible bed head and would spend most of my time looking like I'd been dragged out of a tree.

I'm sure there are unknown horrors lurking in the idea, but I still like it. I bet all cats everywhere would appreciate it too.

[nctnanajaemin]

"my brother's bestfriend" au pairing:lee jeno x na!sister reader word count:4.5k chapter one

MINORS DNI warnings: smut, unprotected sex (wrap it irl), pinv, cursing, use of pet names (princess, baby, and pretty girl), praise, slight spanking.

you stretch out on chenle's bed, feeling the weight of the long drive home from college still clinging to your muscles. chenle's voice pulls you from your thoughts. "so, are you excited for the 'welcome home y/n' party?"

you shrug. "i guess. i'm just not ready for all of the drama that comes with taeyong's parties."

"you barely even witness it. you are always sucking jeno off somewhere."

you know full well that he's right, but you'd never admit to it. as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a message from jeno.

you roll your eyes and lock your phone, letting it fall onto your chest.

"you done sexting jeno now?" chenle laughs.

"i was not sexting him," you protest.

"suuuure," chenle replies in a sarcastic tone. "that's why you're smiling like a dumbass."

"he's irritating."

"and yet, you keep texting him," chenle points out.

you don't have a good response to that, so you just shrug again. "it's complicated."

"complicated? you're just being a dumbass and hooking up with your brother's best friend because it's exciting," chenle retorts, shaking his head. "don't pretend like you don't have feelings for him."

"i don't."

"keep telling yourself that. but i know damn well that you don't hook up with someone for years without any feelings involved. and i also know how you look at him when you think no one is paying attention. so don't even try and deny it."

"i think you're delusional."

chenle rolls his eyes. "oh sure, i'm the delusional one. has jaemin talked to you at all since you two got into it on the phone last night?"

"nope. he's probably pouting about it somewhere. i don't really care though. he was acting like a dick and he'll get over it ."

"i still can't believe it's because you told him you were thinking about moving into my extra room."

"i know. he acts like i'm still a child that needs to ask permission from my older brother before doing anything."

-----

the party is in full swing by the time you arrive at taeyong's place. the music is loud, the lights are dim, and the house is filled with the familiar faces of you and your brother's friends.

after what feels like hours of catching up with everyone, you finally find a moment to breathe. you're standing in the kitchen, sipping on a drink, when you feel someone looking at you. you turn to see jeno, his expression unreadable.

"how come you're avoiding me?" he asks.

"i'm not," you reply, trying to keep your tone neutral.

"you walked right past me when you got here."

"you were talking to jaemin," you explain, your patience already wearing thin. "and he's currently not talking to me. i wasn't going to just walk up and start talking to you."

jeno narrows his eyes. "hm. and since when are you and chenle so close? you two used to never get along."

"yes we did. i just wasn't allowed to hang out with him because jaemin kept telling my mom i was staying over there and it caused a bunch of drama. what, are you jealous that i went to hang out with him instead of you?"

"no. i just find it weird that the whole time you are away, you are texting me and shit, and the second you get back, it's like i don't exist."

"hey, you ruined that for yourself. if you weren't such an asshole the last time you drove out maybe i wouldn't be being so rude to you."

his jaw clenches. "how was i an asshole? i had every right to be pissed off. you told me to drive out, and i did, and then you made plans to fuck someone else right in front of me."

"that's a lie and you know it. i didn't talk to a single person the whole time you were there. not to mention you are the only person i've ever slept with." you look around, hoping to find someone to escape to.

"mark's waving me over. i'll talk to you later," you tell him, walking away.

you wander back to chenle and he immediately notices your mood change.

"you okay?" he asks, throwing an arm around you.

"jeno's pissing me off," you admit, filling him in on what just happened.

"don't let him ruin your night, y/n/n. he's just mad because you aren't giving him the attention he wants. come on, let's go dance and piss him off some more."

chenle pulls you to a slightly less crowded area and the two of you dance. more people file in after a while and chenle pulls you into him.

"he's in here. work your magic," chenle whispers, his hands resting on your hips as you grind against him.

but after a while, you realize jeno is barely even paying attention. frustrated, you decide to give up and slip upstairs to use the bathroom.

as you exit the bathroom, you're suddenly pulled into taeyong's room. you stumble a little and look up to find jeno. "of course it's you. what do you want?" you ask.

"you think it's funny to try and make me jealous?"

you roll your eyes and head for the door. this is exactly what you wanted to happen, but you weren't about to let him find that out. "go back to the party. i'm sure you have plenty of other girls to keep you company."

he pulls you back and pins you between him and the wall. "i don't want some random girl. i want you."

"that sucks. not interested," you tell him, trying to hide the fact that you're getting turned on.

he leans in close, his face just inches away from yours. "so you've just decided to act like a brat for no reason then, hm?"

"i'm not a brat." you protest, a little too quickly.

jeno smirks, clearly amused by your reaction. "sure."

your eyes flicker from his lips back to his eyes, and then back before you can stop yourself.

his cocky smirk from earlier growing wider as he notices your gaze. "you're a little too obvious, princess."

his mouth is on your neck now, planting soft kisses. you hate that it feels so right when you're supposed to be angry at him, but your body isn't getting the memo, instead, betraying you with the increasing heat between your thighs and the goosebumps spreading across your body.

without warning, he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around him while he carries you over to the bed. your back hits the sheets and he's above you, his mouth reclaiming your neck. you're still trying to maintain your composure, but you absolutely lose it when he grinds against you.

he lifts his head from your neck and his eyes meet yours. "you're so bad at pretending to hate me."

"shut up."

he laughs and kisses you, this time with more urgency. you bite his bottom lip in return, making him groan. his fingers glide over the soft skin of your stomach as he slides the shirt up your body, exposing more of your skin to him. he's taking his time, sliding it up excruciatingly slow just to tease you.

you're tired of him being cocky and you want to see him fall apart under your touch. you break the kiss and push his shoulders back, switching your positions so you're straddling his lap. he's still smirking up at you and before he can say anything you press your lips to his again, slipping your tongue between his lips. his hands slide up your thighs, gripping them as you kiss, your hips grinding down on him.

his breath catches and he breaks the kiss, looking up at you. "someone's in a hurry," he mutters.

you ignore him and start undoing the buttons on his dress shirt. you grind a little harder onto him and his head tilts back as he lets out a groan.

his shirt is now fully unbuttoned and you push it from his shoulders, his hands roaming over your sides and up your back. you lean down to kiss his neck, trailing your lips over his skin. his hands find your hips and he presses you down, grinding you against him. his nails dig into your skin and you can feel him getting harder under you. you nibble at his earlobe and he lets out a shaky breath, his grip on you tightening as he tries to control himself.

"y/n" he mumbles, his voice low and strained.

"jeno" you whisper, your breath hot on his neck.

"i hate you," he moans, his hands still gripping your hips tightly.

you have him right where you want him. "that's my line. get your own."

he laughs and something clicks in his mind. suddenly he flips you over and pins your hands above your head with one of his. "can't let you keep this upper hand," he grins down at you.

"i was enjoying that," you pout, attempting to wriggle your wrists from his grasp.

"a little too much," he replies, his grip on your wrists firm. his free hand slides your shirt up and he lets go of your hands for a split second to lift it over your head.

stupidly you try to switch positions and it ends with your hands pinned above your head again. he takes a moment to appreciate the sight before him, biting his lip as his eyes scan over your chest.

"take a picture it'll last longer," you tell him, getting impatient.

"don't need to. you've sent me enough."

he doesn't bother to remove your bra just yet, instead, he continues to kiss along your stomach. he reaches the waistband of your skirt and looks up at you. "are you going to behave if i release your hands?" he asks, his grip on your wrists still firm.

you nod eagerly and he lets go, sitting back on his heels as you prop yourself up and unclip your bra. you toss it onto the floor and he takes your skirt off.

you bite your lip as his finger traces along your inner thigh. "you are such a tease," you whine as his finger brushes over your clothed folds.

"you're one to talk. you look so good like this though. all flushed and spread out for me."

you cover your face with your hands, and he lightly smacks your leg. "take your hands off your face or i'm done."

you take your hands off your face and he slowly slips your underwear down your legs, discarding them somewhere on the floor. his hand moves back up your thigh as his gaze remains fixated on you. "you're so beautiful," he tells you, and you can't help the small whimper that escapes your lips as his thumb brushes closer to where you want him most.

"please," you beg, your hips arching towards him.

"please what, baby?" he asks.

"t-touch me already," you manage to stutter out, your nails digging into the sheets.

his thumb slightly grazes your clit, causing you to let out a gasp. he dips his finger lower, circling your entrance before pulling away.

you groan in frustration. "they're going to notice one of us is gone soon."

"is that you tapping out?" he asks.

you're torn between your frustration and your desire. "no. i just need you to fuck me. if you don't want to, i'll go find someone else."

his gaze darkens at your words, the amused expression on his face disappearing in an instant. "what did you just say?" his tone is low.

"you're not the only guy here who wants me, you know." you reply, trying to sound unaffected by his intimidating glare.

he scoffs before flipping you harshly onto your stomach. "you think i'm going to just let you go find some other guy after you just admitted downstairs that I'm the only guy you've ever slept with?" he smacks your ass and you gasp at the sudden roughness.

"what are you going to do?" you ask, your voice coming out breathier than intended.

he takes your hands and pins them above your head again, his chest pressed firmly against your back. "who else here wants you? hm?"

you feel the heat between your legs grow more intense as he speaks. he pulls back slightly, still holding your wrists together above you. you can feel the material of his jeans against your bare skin, the feeling alone causing you to grind back against him slightly, desperate for any kind of friction.

as expected, he notices your desperate attempt to get friction and laughs. "now, princess, we need to discuss your punishment."

"punishment?"

"i think you need to learn a lesson in obedience, and the most effective way is to deny you the pleasure you so desperately crave."

your eyes widen in disbelief. "no. that isn't fair."

"and why isn't it?"

"because i…" you trail off, unable to find the right words to say.

"because you…" he prompts, letting go of your wrists. "finish your sentence, princess." his hands move down your body, slowly, tracing patterns on your skin.

"because i-" you start again, unable to form a coherent thought with his hand slowly sliding lower.

"you're going to have to do better than that if you want to come tonight."

you whine softly, your body practically begging for him to touch you. you feel yourself grow wetter. "i'm sorry. please fuck me and just forget what i said." you mumble.

"hmm, i don't know. you tried to threaten me just five minutes ago. i think you need to learn some patience, pretty girl." he tells you, kissing your neck.

you arch your back again, trying to get closer to him. "please. i'll be good."

"do you promise?" he whispers, the low timbre of his voice making your knees weak.

"yes, yes, i promise. i'll be good." you reply, your words becoming more desperate as you push your hips back to meet him.

"you really are pathetic. you know that."

you feel a strange mix of humiliation and pleasure wash over you. "i'm sorry," you murmur.

"sorry?" he asks, his tone suddenly cold. "what are you sorry for?"

"i'm sorry for being bratty earlier," you rush out, your voice trembling slightly.

"that's it?"

"no, i'm sorry for threatening to leave and find someone else and i'm sorry for being impatient."

"and…" he prompts again.

"i-i don't know."

"you don't know…" he sighs, pulling away. you feel a momentary sense of panic wash over you, worried he's going to leave you desperate and unsatisfied.

"i don't. i'm sorry."

"what about the whole thing with chenle downstairs, hmm."

"i'm sorry for trying to make you jealous."

"mm, good girl." he praises as you hear him undoing his belt.

you can't see him from your current position, but you can feel his weight shifting behind you, followed by the sound of his belt and jeans hitting the floor. you bite your lip in anticipation, your body still craving his touch.

"arch your back for me, pretty girl." you follow his instructions and feel his hands on your hips as he positions himself behind you. "you look so perfect like this." he murmurs. "so eager and desperate for me." you shiver under his touch, your body responding to his words without hesitation.

"please," you whisper, your voice hoarse. "i need you."

"need me, huh?" he muses. "do you deserve me, baby?" the question hangs in the air, and he waits for your response.

"yes. please. i'll do anything." you plead, your need for him overshadowing any sense of pride you may have had earlier. "touch me, please."

"i like seeing you desperate." he tells you and you feel him shift slightly, his body pressing closer to yours. you feel his tip tease your entrance and you let out a breathy moan. "you ready?" he asks and you nod. "words, baby. i need to hear you say it."

"yes," you tell him.

his grip on your hips is firm as he pushes into you, a low groan escaping his mouth. he pauses for a moment, allowing you to adjust before he starts to move. "you're going to take all of me, right baby?"

"mhm," you hum.

his motions are slow and deliberate, making sure you feel every inch of him. you arch your back, pressing your hips back against him, the feeling overwhelming.

"that's my good girl. taking me so good," he whispers.

he picks up the pace of his thrusts and you feel yourself getting lost in the sensations, your mind a foggy mess. your fingernails dig into the sheets desperately as you try to find something to anchor yourself to. "oh, f-fuck," you moan, the sound catching in your throat as he finds a steady pace.

he presses closer to you, his chest pressing tightly against your back as he nuzzles his face into your neck. "you feel so good," he says between kisses, his breath hot against your skin. the combination of his movements and the praise has you in a state of ecstasy.

"don't stop," you manage to gasp out. his pace remains steady, drawing out your pleasure for as long as possible. you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your legs start to shake, causing you to clench around him, desperate for release.

"you close, baby?" he asks, and you nod frantically in response, too lost in the moment to form words.

he presses one final kiss to your neck before suddenly pulling out. you whine but he just laughs in response. "no, no. don't worry, we aren't done yet."

you feel a mix of curiosity and frustration as he guides you onto your back, gently maneuvering your limbs to his liking. he takes a moment to appreciate the sight of you spread out for him again before sliding back between your thighs.

your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper inside you. he lets out a moan as his hands trail over your body. "you're so perfect," he whispers, his voice filled with admiration and awe.

his pace quickens and you can feel yourself getting close again. he presses his forehead against yours, his breathing heavy. his thrusts grow harder and more erratic, your moans growing louder in response.

you feel yourself teetering on the edge, your nails digging into his back as your legs start to shake again. "i-im-" you stumble over your words, your body writhing with pleasure.

"i know, baby. go ahead."

your body tenses as you reach your release. he continues his movements for a couple more thrusts and releases inside you before collapsing on the bed next to you.

you lay there for a moment, both of you panting heavily. "i don't think i'll be able to walk tomorrow," you finally say, breaking the silence between you.

he laughs, his breath hot against your neck. "i'd apologize, but that means i'd have to regret it," he teases.

you roll your eyes, a small smile playing on your lips. "you're such an ass," you mutter, although your words lack any real annoyance.

"you love it." he retorts, pulling you closer to him.

the two of you lay there for a little bit until jeno realizes that your eyes are closed and decides it's probably time to try and get you up. "we should probably head back down soon," he tells you, pushing the hair out of your face.

you let out a groan of irritation at being woken from your momentary peaceful bliss. "five more minutes." you beg, burying your face against his chest.

"we both know that if we stay up here any longer, you're gonna end up falling asleep and not wake up until tomorrow," he says, gently untangling himself from you and sitting up. you roll onto your back to pout at him as he stands up and starts to get dressed, the sight leaving you with conflicted feelings.

you hate to admit it, but you kind of like the side of him that's gentle and caring. it clashes so much with his arrogant and cocky personality. once he's fully dressed, he turns to look at you, still lying there naked and pouting.

"come on, princess, up you get," he tells you, picking up your scattered clothes from around the room and setting them on the bed beside you.

you sigh, slowly sitting up and stretching your arms above your head. you grab your bra and put it on. he watches with amused fascination as you struggle to pull on your skirt while still sitting down. you stumble forwards when you try and stand up as your legs feel like jelly. he catches you before you can fall.

"careful, baby," he tells you, wrapping his arms around your waist to steady you.

"stop calling me baby," you grumble.

"sorry, my bad. i meant pretty girl," he jokes, the pet name making you roll your eyes.

you don't know why, but his taunts don't seem as irritating as usual. "whatever. let's go downstairs," you say, reluctantly untangling yourself from him.

the both of you head for the door. "do you want a piggyback ride downstairs?" he asks, turning around to face you.

"do you think that's a good idea? what if someone sees us?"

"it's better than watching you tumble all the way down the stairs. and if anyone sees us i'll think of something, don't worry." he tells you, crouching down in front of you.

you reluctantly climb onto his back. "if you drop me, i swear—"

"yes, i'm aware. you'll kick my ass," he laughs, standing up and starting to descend down the stairs.

the two of you make it downstairs without incident. jeno sets you down and you glance around the room, the only person you notice watching the two of you is chenle.

"i'll text you later, yeah?" jeno says, fixing his shirt that got messed up on the way down here. you nod, waving him off as he goes back to his friends.

chenle waves you over. you walk over and sit next to him, expecting him to say something, but he only creepily smiles at you instead.

"what are you smiling about?" you ask, feeling a pit of dread in your stomach.

"did you two, y'know…" chenle gestures vaguely, leaving the rest unsaid.

you feel your cheeks get hot, feeling embarrassed at being caught and wanting to strangle him for his meddling. "it's none of your business," you mutter, trying to brush him off.

"you're blushing. you totally did!" he exclaims, nudging you with his elbow. "so spill, did he finally admit his feelings?"

"what are you talking about?" you ask, genuinely confused as to what he's getting at.

chenle rolls his eyes, clearly exasperated by your cluelessness. "jeno is obviously in love with you. he just likes to act like a dick as a defense mechanism," he explains, as if it should be obvious.

"no he isn't. shut up."

"oh, please. he's like a lost puppy around you. you laughed the one day and the guy practically broke his neck to see who made you laugh. it's so obvious he's utterly smitten."

"i think it's time for you to be cut off. you've reached your limit," you tell him, taking his beer.

"hey!" chenle whines, trying to get his beer back.

you stick your tongue out at him and take a sip of his beer, enjoying the sight of his annoyance.

"ew now i'm definitely getting a new one. i'm not about to indirect kiss with jeno's cock."

you choke on your sip of beer, coughing and spluttering as you try and regain your breath. chenle laughs wickedly beside you. he pats your back until you've finally stopped coughing, your face even more flushed than before.

"you so deserved that one," he teases, unable to contain his amusement. you glare at him, pushing him away.

"you okay, y/n?" mark asks, walking up to you guys.

you nod, still trying to catch your breath. "yeah, i'm good. just swallowed wrong," you cough out.

"that's what she said." chenle says, causing you roll your eyes but can't help the small smile that tugs at the corner of your mouth.

mark looks between you and chenle. "just don't let him corrupt you, okay?" he jokes.

"you should be telling her not to corrupt me. she isn't as innocent as you think," chenle tells him.

you feign offense, placing your hand against your chest. "how dare you! i've never done anything wrong in my entire life." mark laughs at your dramatic display, clearly not believing a word you say.

"we all know that's a lie," chenle chimes in. "remember that time you-"

you shove your hand over his mouth to stop him from continuing. "don't finish that sentence."

chenle licks the palm of your hand and you yank your hand back, wiping it furiously on your skirt. "you're disgusting."

"you two are interesting," mark says, shaking his head before walking away.

as soon as he's out of earshot, you look over at chenle. "i jerked jeno off with that hand."

chenle's face turns to pure disgust in a matter of seconds. "i think i'm going to be sick." he tells you, and you laugh as he gets up and runs away, wiping his tongue on his sleeve.

[riki-riks-chick]

Jungwon gets jealous after you spend time with another guy (innocently tho). Y/n is not a cheater. Wonie is just feeling possessive. 🙃

Trading Times ┃Y.JW

jealous!jungwon x reader

jungwon gets jealous bc yn is hanging out with her childhood best friend.

fluff! jealous jw, best friend jay, no cheater behavior, yn is whipped for jw, kisses, jw doesn't know how special he is to yn.

wdct: 1.6k

tyy for this request ♡

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Third Person POV~

"Hey, Y/n... Do you maybe wanna hang out later?.." Jungwon asks, wrapping his arms around you as you finish up washing the dishes. "Sorry, baby.. Jay is back in town for the week so he asked me to hang out with him so we could catch up." You respond as he pouts. "Then tomorrow?.."

You sigh, turning off the tap and drying your hands before turning to face Jungwon. "Tomorrow I'm supposed to go visit his mom. I haven't seen her in three years... I promise we'll hang out the day after." You answer as he nods. "Okay.. I'll just ask Sunoo if he wants to hang out.."

You smile, giving him a quick kiss. "I have to go get dressed.. Sorry I couldn't go out with you today.." You mumble as he nods. "It's fine.. Have fun."

You then head upstairs, showering, doing your hair, and getting dressed before slipping into your most comfortable sneakers.

After making sure you had everything you needed, you made your way downstairs. Jungwon had just walked out of the kitchen. "You look so pretty, but you're wearing jeans?" He questions, knowing you hate wearing jeans, and you nod. "Yeah, I only wear skirts when I'm out with you.. They're usually pretty short, so I don't wanna risk anyone who isn't you trying to get an eyeful."

He nods at your explanation. "Okay.. Are these at least comfortable for you? They wont feel too tight after you eat?" He asks as you nod. "I'm fine, they're comfortable.. Now I gotta go, bye Jungwon."

You kiss his cheek before grabbing your keys and leaving the house. As soon as he hears the lock click he lets out the biggest sigh.

Within the next thirty minutes, Sunoo comes over and now he's forced to listen to all of Jungwon's complaining.

"Jungwon, it's not that serious.. She's known him since they were in diapers damn near. If they were anything more than friends, you would've never had a chance." Sunoo explains as Jungwon groans. "I'm not that stupid, Sunoo. I know she wouldn't cheat on me.. I'm just jealous because whenever he comes to visit, she gives him all her attention."

Sunoo nods. "I guess so, but you have her attention all the time, right?" He asks and Jungwon sighs. "Who's side are you on?"

Sunoo only laughs in response. "I'm on logic's side, let's just have fun for now."

Meanwhile, you had just met up with Jay at a cafe that you two used to study and hang out at all the time. He's already order you a drink, so you sit across from him.

"It's good to see you.." He smiles as you nod. "I know, it always feels like it's been forever. We need to see each other more than once a year."

You two spend time catching up, talking about work and just life in general. Eventually he asks about Jungwon. "So, how's your boyfriend?" He questions as you smile, beaming at the thought alone of Jungwon. "He's great.. I love him so much."

Jay smiles at your happiness. "I have something to tell you." You can tell by his dopey smile that he has good news, so you gesture for him to keep speaking. "I have a girlfriend..."

You light up at the news, reaching over the table to grab his hand excitedly. "Oh my god tell me all about her!"

He tells you everything from how he met her down to how they got together. It's all so endearing to hear since you know how badly his last relationship ended.

After talking for over an hour about life, you both went to an arcade together, playing all the games you used to, except you got to win this time.

When your hangout finally came to an end, you parted your ways, planning to see each other around the same time tomorrow.

You got home at around 5pm, ready to see your boyfriend after thinking about what he was up to all day.

"Jungwon, I'm back." You stepped out of your shoes, setting your keys and your bag down as you walked into the living room.

Sunoo was sitting on the arm chair, and Jungwon was asleep on the couch. Some random movie was playing in the background.

"Hey, Sun." You smile as he waves. "Hey, how was your hang out with Jay?" He asks as you hum. "It was fun. How was your hang out with Jungwon?" You question, moving around the couch to ruffle your sleeping boyfriend's hair.

"It was good, he was complaining for the first your though." He replied as you nodded. "Sounds about right."

Sunoo decides that he's gonna go home, saying goodbye before leaving. You wake Jungwon up and he's immediately clinging to you. "I missed you.." He pouts, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You chuckle, kissing his temple. "I missed you too.. Let's order something to eat, hm?"

The next day, you're up earlier, because Jay called and said his mom wanted to meet for a late breakfast, early lunch. You agreed simply because you didn't wanna inconvenience his mother.

Jungwon was still sleep when you finished getting ready, so you sat beside him on the bed, shaking him gently. "Jungwon.. Wake up."

He stirs, humming as he wraps his arms around your waist. "Where are you going?.." He mumbles with a pout in his tone. You ruffle his hair. "I'm going to brunch with Jay and his mom.. I'll see you later.."

He nods, kissing your cheek before burying his head into his pillow. You get up, patting his back before leaving.

Your day is spent hanging out with Jay, and catching up with his mother. She tells you about how happy she is that her son is finally in a new relationship, and how she hopes this one ends in marriage.

You're happy to see Jay beaming whenever he talks about his girlfriend, similar to the way he watches you smile whenever you talk about Jungwon.

You end up spending much more time than usual hanging out with Jay, and when you finally get home, it's around 8pm.

You look for Jungwon, not finding him in the kitchen, or the living room.

You know he usually doesn't sleep this early, but you check the bedroom anyway, and surely there's a Jungwon shaped lump beneath your covers.

You kick off your shoes, dropping your jacket somewhere along the way as you climb onto the bed, pulling the covers off of his head. "I'm back, baby.." You leaned down to kiss his cheek, pushing his hair out of your face.

He didn't seem to thrilled to see you. "Wonnie.. What's wrong?" You question as he sighs. "You've been gone all day... I've just been here by myself.. All the while you're hanging out with Jay.." He pouts, turning over to look at you. You frown, leaning against the headboard. "Jungwon.. You know it's not like that.. It's been almost a year since I last saw him.. We just wanted to catch up.." You explained for what seemed like the thousandth time since you first introduced Jungwon to Jay.

He had always gotten jealous, but you thought things were different now. You'd been with Jungwon for almost three years now after all. It seems that he still isn't too fond of your relationship with Jay.

"I just.. I wish I knew you like he did.. He's known you since you were a kid... He has so many memories to share with you, and I hardly just found out that you used to dream of being a famous pianist when you were a kid.. I know I shouldn't, but I get jealous.." He explains, avoiding your eyes as you take his hands in yours.

"I understand.. I know Jay and I are close, but I promise you.. You know me in ways Jay couldn't even imagine.. You know how I kiss, my love language, the playlist I listen to when I shower, and even every step of my skincare routine in order.. You're my boyfriend.. Jay could never beat that.." Jungwon sits up, smiling at your words as he hugs you. "I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about it.." He mumbles in your ear, pulling back to kiss your forehead.

You smile brightly at him. "It's okay to be jealous.. I can't imagine how you must feel seeing your girlfriend be close to another guy.. I'm glad that you trust me though.."

He nods, pinching your cheek. "I try not to be to controlling.. Otherwise you would leave me for someone else.."

You chuckle in response. "You know what, next time he said he'd bring his girlfriend so I could meet her.. I'll bring you too and we could have a double date.." You say excitedly as Jungwon nods, planting a sweet kiss to your lips.

"That sounds great, baby.."

═════════════

[yutaleks]

cherry thrill pt. 2 | okkotsu yuuta x reader

part one here. ftm trans!yuuta. reader is afab, no pronouns used for reader. yuuta’s using a strap-on. subtop yuuta. reader does a lot of dirty talk, I wrote this with my dick I fear. yuuta has a praise kink. and reader squirts.

it's pride month baby! 🏳️‍🌈 a part two no one asked for. yippie! Length: 2.6k. divider by @/cafekitsune

You have always considered yourself to be a patient person.

Waiting months for Yuuta to have enough courage to even hold a conversation with you? Doable. Respecting his nervousness and waiting weeks to kiss, even touch him? Fine.

But the wait for his new strap-on set to arrive, the one you ordered with Yuuta as you both wearily laid down naked on your couch after countless orgasms and hours of tribbing? Impossible.

You would've gone to a local sex shop together, got it over with as soon as possible, but Yuuta was just way too anxious and shy to do that in person. So you ordered it online—discreet packaging, just as he asked for—and waited an impossible six days twelve hours and 18 minutes for it to show up on your doorstep. But who was counting?

It was worth the wait though, you tell yourself as you look at him from your place at the edge of your bed. You're sitting atop the blanket, bare legs crossed, an old t-shirt of Yuuta's covering your torso (you've recently got into the habit of stealing his shirts, and he doesn't mind it one bit).

Standing across from you is your boyfriend, still wearing his binder beneath an open button-down flannel, awkwardly admiring his new silicone penis. It's cute; you'd opted for a simple, seven inch flesh colored dildo, the base being secured nicely in a harness that wraps around Yuuta's hips and loops just underneath his ass. He does a hesitant little spin, looking at you for reassurance.

"Is it on right?" he asks, turning his shoulders and picking at the straps with his index fingers. When he turns around you get a nice view of his ass, plumped up by the straps settled firmly into the fat of his thighs underneath.

"Think so," you smile, swinging your ankles. "Your ass looks so good, you know."

"Stop it," he whines, his signature blush tinting his cheeks. He turns back towards you, his silicone cock bobbing with the movement. His hands move to his crotch, as if to instinctively cover his cock, but of course the dildo is stationary—so it simply bounces as he realizes his effort to cover up is futile. "I feel so out of place. Dunno what I'm doing."

" 's okay," you tell him. With your eyes, you beg him to come closer. He starts to cross the distance as you drop to your knees and add, "I've never done it either."

"Really? The way you spoke about it I—" he sputters as, when hes finally standing close enough to you, you lean forward, peppering kisses to his waistline. He blinks. "I, um, figured you had."

"No," you place your hands at his waist, reeling him in. "I've never worn one."

"What about, uh," he struggles to concentrate as your tongue darts out, wetting his tip. "Um—taking it?"

"Does it bother you, if I have?" You ask, looking up at him.

"No! No," he replies assuredly. There's a few moments of silence as you wait for him to elaborate. Which, after a deep breath, he does. "I guess it's more... what if I don't measure up?"

"Don't worry about that. You just need practice—what better way to practice than to fuck me as much as you want to?"

His breath audibly catches in his throat as you press down on the dildo with an index finger. The cock gives some resistance, the base pressing against Yuuta's dick beneath the fabric of the harness, and after pressing hard enough to make him whimper, you let it go. It springs up and down, oscillating with decreasing frequency, just in front of your face. You giggle. "It's not like you'll lose a boner; just keep fucking me 'till you get the hang of it."

"O-Okay," Yuuta stutters. His fingers, long and pale and clad with a few pretty rings, reach for your nape as you start to suck on his strap. Yuuta gathers your hair away from your shoulders, and you can see his jaw is idly slack as he watches you suck at the tip of the dildo. He’s never wanted to feel something more in his life than wanting to feel your lips around his cock. There’s a bit of a quiet rage to it, wanting what he can’t have.

You feel just a bit of a tug to your hair. When you look up, Yuuta’s face is displaying an entire range of emotions to you—it’s a combination of his blush, his parted lips, and his dark, intense stare that has you feeling like you should push him just a bit more. Maybe it’s a little awful of you, but you flutter your lashes and take more of the dildo into your mouth, moaning when you do. You expect him to pull away, maybe get too flustered to continue—he’s fun to tease in that way.

But unexpectedly, you feel the dildo move in your throat, to which you make a noise of surprise. You look up and Yuuta’s chewing on his lip, holding back his groans as he pushes the cock into your throat. If your mouth weren’t full you’d giggle, tease him about how eager he is and how he’s flipped on you, suddenly willing to take initiative. But instead you suck on his strap exactly the way he wants, offering him the privilege to ruin your mouth even if the cock isn’t really his.

The silicone pistons in and out of your mouth, slowly and clumsily as Yuuta gets the hang of thrusting with his hips. Something about being able to feel exactly when he builds his confidence ignites something in the pit of your stomach; Yuuta watches with thinly veiled excitement as you reach down to your panties, rubbing between your legs idly as Yuuta fucks your throat.

"You like it when I...?" Yuuta trails off, tilting his head as he rolls his hips towards you. The strap hit the back of your throat, your reply to his question a muffled gag. He clears his throat, shifts further up towards you as you lean back onto the bedding. It gives you more room to touch yourself, your fingers slipping under your panties as Yuuta's knees hit the side of the bed at either side of your face.

You moan around the strap when your fingers finally make contact with your puffy, needy clit. The groan that comes out of Yuuta's throat... it sparks a level of impatience in you that you didn't think was possible.

You start to rub circles on your clit—you know exactly what you like, so the build-up to your orgasm is quick. Yuuta does a good job of reading the signs, following your lead. He fucks your mouth with newly-learned precision, and to his awe it takes very little time at all for you to cum: your brows thread as you moan around the strap, thighs closing in on each other as your high crashes over you.

Yuuta pulls out of your mouth then, a long, sticky web of spit following.

"Please," Yuuta begs before he even realizes what he's saying. "Please can I put it in?"

Even as you catch your breath, your lips curl into a smile. "Yeah. Let me get on the bed."

In an ideal world, Yuuta would take this slow; he'd peel his shirt off of you, lavish kisses to your pretty, perfect tits. He'd make his way down to your thighs, kiss every inch of skin between them. Take his time with your body before prying you open.

But this ideal world doesn't have you, laying back in just his shirt and panties, spreading your thighs open wide for him, enticing him. So he skips straight to the part where he slots himself between your thighs instead.

He does, however, have enough wherewithal to dip his head down and lave at your panties; he'd be remiss if he didn't at least have a taste.

"Yuuta—" his name comes out a mixture of a laugh and a whimper as you sit up a bit, held up by your elbows, "—what are you—"

He flattens his tongue against the wet patch on your underwear, groaning at the taste. "Jus' wanted to taste you," he says, before so cruelly wrapping his lips around your clit over the fabric. He sucks on it, your head dipping back as you arch into his mouth.

"Fuck," you hiss, "Sensitive,"

"Mm," he hums, fingers reaching out to peel your wet panties off. You wearily reach for a bottle of lube, the one you'd hastily tossed on the bed as Yuuta strapped himself up. "Sorry."

As he tosses your panties aside, you sit up, and silently squirt some lube onto your fingertips. He shuffles closer to you, the eye contact between you getting more intense with each pump of your hand up and down the strap. When it's sufficiently wet, you lean back, and with the residue on your hands, you rub your fingers between your folds, displaying to Yuuta exactly what you want when you push two fingers into your soaked cunt.

He swallows. And freezes up, looking at you like he needs approval.

"Come on," you beckon to him, index and middle finger holding your pussy open. "Be a good boy for me, Yuu?"

He shuffles closer, knees dipping the mattress with his weight. Your fingers test the straps around his hips and his thighs, his heart threatening to burst with affection but also with nerves. He wants to do this right, to be perfect for you. He thinks you deserve the best, and he wants to give it to you.

"You're thinking about it too much, baby," you tell him, your voice warm. "Put it in," you point down to your pussy with your gaze, his following closely behind. "She's waiting for you, yeah? Fill me up with your cock."

Yuuta wants to whine, to cave in on himself entirely. He's not sure if you're doing it on purpose, but the dirty talk is making his cock ache beneath the strap. His muscles hurt from how taut the are. It takes a concerted effort to swallow a moan and line his tip up with your hole.

He nudges it closer, pushes a little once your skin makes contact with the toy. Your pussy practically flutters around it, sucking him in.

"That's it," you sigh. Yuuta's fingers dig into the meat of your thighs, almost painfully, but you don't mind. "Give me more,"

Yuuta takes the time to study your expressions, just before his thighs make contact with the back of yours. Entranced, he is, by the way your gaze is hazy, lazily watching him push inside you. Your jaw hangs open just a little, enough for him to hear the satisfied groan you make when he slides into you completely. It's so pretty, the way your eyes open up and you smile weakly with bliss. Your thighs open wider for him as he leans forward, his cock fully sheathed inside.

"So good," you tell him, pulling him closer so he can kiss you. He obliges, tongue tasting your sweet moans as his closeness changes the angle of his cock inside you. "Fuck me, Yuuta."

He kisses you again—this time sliding his tongue against yours as he pulls back and gives you an experimental thrust. You let him fuck you like that: slow, needy, purposeful.

When you do pull your lips apart, Yuuta's panting like a dog, and buries his face in your neck to hide the blush he knows he's sporting. He likes this so much more than he expected to—the closeness, the pleasure he's giving you, the praise you give him back. All he needs is to hear you come apart again; he needs it desperately, more than anything.

"Fuck," you hike up your knees and reach down with your hands, grabbing at the sides of his hips, before finally grabbing at his ass. He grinds into you, whines into your ear when the fabric of the harness rubs against his dick. Luckily, the angle works so well for you too. "Just like that, baby."

Yuuta does exactly as your body tells him to; he follows the rhythm of your hands on him, does whatever makes you moan the loudest and claw the hardest into his skin. You set the pace of his thrusts, and he merely helplessly grinds himself off on the harness, the base of the dildo pushing delightfully into him.

There's a strangled noise coming from his throat reminiscent of a dying animal.

"Cum with me," you tell him, nails digging hard into his skin. You feel him nod against your head.

"Okay, okay, just," he pants, thrusts turning erratic, "Promise me you'll cum too, please,"

"Keep going, Yuuta. Keep going pretty boy," you feel him kiss at your neck. Or maybe slobber is the better word. Or maybe he's crying—you can't tell, really. He's a mess, that much you can feel. "Keep fucking me—just like that."

His hips continue to fuck into you, Yuuta chasing his peak while trying to push you through yours. It's delightful, seeing him so eager, so needy. You keep telling him just how good he's doing, honeyed compliments between your moans of pleasure. You angle your hips, just enough to have his cock hit your sweet spot with every thrust. The sounds you make then are heavenly.

"Please cum," Yuuta begs, "Wanna make you cum, please,"

"Just a little more," you tell him, voice getting scratchy and hoarse.

Yuuta pulls up, startling you as he grabs at your waist. He angles your hips, practically picking your lower half off the bed, and thrusts into you with a fervor you wouldn't have expected from his first time. He does it too well, making you lose your bearings and forgetting that you were the one leading him through this—because now you're lost in it, moaning unabashedly as your pussy squeezes down around his cock. He feels a sick feeling of satisfaction watching your tits bounce to his thrusts beneath his shirt; everything about you in this moment is so hot, he can barely contain himself.

When you do reach your peak, Yuuta first hears it from your lips as you whine. and then he feels it, liquid spurting from your pussy. He fucks you through it, short, pointed thrusts that have the base of the strap stimulating his dick. His orgasm is so close behind; as you reel from the pleasure, he finds his own, his hands squeezing hard at your sides as he loses his steady pace.

"I'm gonna cum," he warns you, breathless. "Can I, fuck,"

"Cum for me," you tell him, looping your hands around his wrists art your sides. "Cum, baby." He grinds himself against you, getting himself off with a deep, guttural groan.

He stills after he pulls out, catching his breath for what feels like hours. In those few minutes, you compose yourself, and pull him closer to you. He moves almost robotically, like his brain and body are no longer attached to one another. You palm over the damp, sweaty strands of hair that frame his face. You kiss at his jaw, framing his faintly stubbled cheeks with your lovely hands. When his brain begins to function again, he wraps his hands around your own, and blinks away the dazed, sleepy expression in his eyes.

"You back with me?" You smile, kissing his cheek.

"Yeah,"

"You did so good, Yuuta," you hum. "I know you were worried, but you were amazing, my sweet boy."

"Oh, I'm glad," he sighs, wrapping his arms around your middle. "But now I'm so tired. How does anyone do multiple rounds of that?"

You laugh. "You'll get there."

He hums, nosing himself into the crook of your neck. "Love you."

"Love you too," you tell him, before pulling him down for a long, relaxing cuddle.

[eldritch-spouse]

Imagine being a government cyber security agent and you're investigating why the term “Clergy's Eye” seems to disappear from the web as soon as it appears. Your poking around ends up attracting the attention of Fank-e.

Oh he loves to fuck with you. Hardcore.

Fank-e likes the persistent ones, the ones who actually do know a thing or two about tech, about how to exploit search engines and look for patterns hidden in too many lines of code for your average Joe to care.

Fank-e has never been sloppy, ever, but he likes to leave a mention up just a little bit longer so that you can feel accomplished, feel like you discovered something, that you're getting closer to some sort of fantasy breadcrumb trail.

It's much like playing tug of war with a dog, you have to let them have their way once or twice, or the dog will get disappointed and bored. So Fank-e plays with you, one crumb there, one blurred image here. He sees the joy in your face through your webcam when he leaves those little presents.

Your room is a mess, your life is a mess, there are bags under your eyes and your skin has acquired a sickly sebum. It's clear this investigation of yours, fruitless from the start, has taken over your entire existence. You've stopped being a functional person even. Fank-e isn't the best human caretaker out there, but even he is starting to feel a bit remorseful for the state this little game has put you in. For tricking you into messaging him, into making it seem as if "Skiddled33znUts" is yet another researcher who has noticed "the Clergy patterns"- As opposed to your very rival, eliminating extra bits of potential evidence through your conversations.

Yes, it's quite sad he determines.

Which is why he figures you should get to see the results of your work. You should see The Clergy's Eye! He's going to take you there. Keep you. You're his favorite squishy so far. So fun to play with, so smart, he loves the way you type and the workarounds you find to his lovingly crafted digital barriers. Fank-e refuses to let this end.

It's about time he does something too, you're becoming frail, this game is becoming too taxing on your poor mind, and it shows in the way you reply to him, always so open. Like a book.

You: Idk, I feel like I'm running in circles at this point...

Skiddled33znUts: naaahhh d0n'7 b3 L1k3 d4t. 1 B3t W3'r3 cl053 70 F1Nd1n' 50M37H1N' 900d!!

You: I don't think so skiddle

You: I'm tired

You: I'm stuck

You: I need

You: idk anymore dude

Skiddled33znUts: h3y.

Skiddled33znUts: 17'5 L1k3 4Am.

Skiddled33znUts: U 5h0ULd G3T 50M3 5l33p.

You: I guess you're right

You: I'm being dumb

You: Goodnight

Skiddled33znUts: G3wdn1Ght! ;P

Yes.

Tomorrow.

Sleep tight, dummy. He can't wait.

[princessmaybank]

🍒 - 2 & 10 w/ jj plsss 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Awe I hope you like it!!! This was so cute and I loved writing it! Enjoy!

Only One Time

Pairings: Sweet!JJ x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sexual intercourse. More fluff.

Summary: Prompts 2 & 10 from this list.

Authors Note: I rarely write fluff so you guys better like this one!

JJ's POV:

It was just supposed to be a one time thing. That's what we told each other 3 months ago. We've had sex at least once a week since then. It wouldn't have been a problem if I would've just kept feelings out of it. I tried, I fought like hell, but every time I hear her moan my name, it sends me through a tunnel of love.

That is the same for this time as well. I am currently balls deep inside this amazing girl and she can't stop moaning my name and clawing my back. I like to think of her scratching as her way of claiming me.

Recently I've been trying to keep her in positions where I didn't see her face, but it never helped. This time, she insisted on missionary, so basically I was fucked. Haha literally. "Jay- I'm gonna cum- don't stop!" She moaned. Fuck, she said my name again. I can't stand it. "Me too, me too.." I hissed out. Y/N clenched around my dick and came all over it. It was just enough to tip me over the edge. I slipped out and spilled my cum on her stomach just in time. We both stared at each other with bright smiles on our faces. We both looked exhausted but she still looked perfect.

"What is it Jay?" She asked, catching her breath between words. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are? " My cheeks heated up and I mentally slapped myself, I don't know why I just fucking said that.

"Uhm no actually.." She blushed and looked down at her fingers. I definitely couldn't take back what I said. Not that I wanted to, I just wanted to fucking hide for the rest of my life. "Well I think you should be told every day. You really are absolutely gorgeous Y/N. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise." I smiled and gave her a small hug. She seemed to blush harder now. "Thank you Jay, that means a lot to me." Y/N answered.

We laid there cuddling for a while, nearly falling asleep a few times. I'd like to say this was the first time we cuddled after sex, but it's actually become a normal thing since our 3rd or 4th time together. So yeah, pretty much every fucking time.

"Hey Jay?" She asked. We were spooning, one arm under her head, the other is laid over her hip, and my dick was pressed against her ass. "Yes Y/N?" I asked. "Did you mean what you said earlier? About me being pretty?" She questioned. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I mean it?" I was slightly confused. "No one's ever called me beautiful before and our situation isn't exactly easy, so I guess I just thought you said it in the heat of the moment." She sounded upset. "I'm sorry." I don't know why she apologized. "You have no reason to be sorry." I turned her so she was on her back and I was hovering over her.

"I would never lie about something as serious as that. Especially to you. I could never lie to you Y/N." I brushed some hair out of her face and she nuzzled into my hand. We couldn't stop our glossy eyes from staring at each other.

I'm not sure how but it felt like our lips were magnetic. They pulled us closer and closer to each other until they crashed together. We had tried kissing before in bed but that was so different. Before it was hot and steamy, with no emotion. This one was full of passion and desire, but not in a sexual way.

After our long, beautifully emotional kiss, I pulled back and we looked at each other with shock and what seemed to be the most intense feeling a human could experience.

"I love you. "

I said barely above a whisper. I wasn't afraid to say that anymore. I needed her to know, even if the feeling wasn't mutual. But her eyes softened. "I love you too Jay." She pulled my lips back into hers.

When we pulled apart I felt so much better knowing that she felt this way too.

"Will you go out with me?" My heart beat out of my chest as I waited for her answer but I had a feeling the odds were in my favor.

"Of course Jay!" I was right.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Twst Kinks And Shit They Like To Do During Sex: Pomefiore

Let's go let's go let's goooooo.

I'm in a weird mood so let's see how this turns out.

Vil:

Whatever that dress up kink is, Vil has it. Puts on his fanciest makeup and clothes and shit just for sex. He expects you to do that, too. Also, a big part of this is just seeing his most amazing and expensive clothes discarded on the floor and his makeup wiped all over your body after sex.

Scritchy scratch this mans back during sex. You're def gonna need nails for this mans, cause he legit just makes you put your hands on his back and tells you to rip his back to shreds. And just loves looking at that shit in the mirror. Thinks it's super beautiful. (Rook's on board, too, once he finds out)

Rook:

Predator/prey shit (or hunter/prey), straight up. His ultimate dream is to leave you in a forest naked and cold while he hunts you down to fuck you in the dirt. But, until you're ready for that, he's happy playing a much kinder hunter in his own bedroom with you. (seriously though, I wholeheartedly believe Rook is one nasty fucker)

I know some of you might not agree with this, but following that predator/prey kink thing, he keeps sharp shit by his bed every time y'all fuck. He never uses it, but you can see it, and you know it's there, and that's all he needs for now.

Epel:

Sir kink. As much as I hate this kink, I can't help but think Epel has a sir kink. He won't even know it. You'll accidentally call him that for some reason one day, and next thing he knows, Rook's going crazy over his little boner in class. (idk what's wrong with me and Rook.... but still, it's funny thinking about Rook just teasing Epel about his boner all class.)

During sex, he's still trying to mask his accent (for whatever reason), but whenever he cums or you cum, his accent comes out around 10x stronger than usual, and it probably makes you laugh like a maniac.

Idk why I was so weird about Rook and Epel, but it be what it be.

Ignihyde's coming soon.

Or.... just Idia I guess.

(I keep having to go back and change up the kinks and shit in my previous posts....)

[crystallizedtwilight]

I really like how you draw what you love in the moment. I am making a shift in my drawing interests as well, but I'm starting to feel guilty. My friends and followers know me as the (insert fandom) artist. Deep down I know what I am feeling is silly. Draw what you love! Who cares! I know that is the truth. So my question to you is, what do you do when those thoughts come to your head (if it does)?

What a thoughtful question! Below the cut:

Thank you! I've been on tumblr for 10 years and I have come to accept that I will always receive certain messages when I begin drawing a new interest:

"Guess you don't draw X anymore" / "Why did you stop drawing X?" / "Are you ever going to draw X again?" / "I want more X" / "When can we expect more X?" / "We're never going to see X again, are we?"

Though I've emphasized many times that this is my blog for all of my art and all my fandoms, every time I switch interests I am swamped with messages like this 3-4 months afterwards. It's an inevitability, because new folks may have missed that this is a "my current interest" blog, and old folks may not like the new content you're interested in.

At first it really bothered me, because I'd draw like 150 pieces of art for a fandom for 6 months straight, need a break, and the next day people will be like "guess you don't care anymore" like all the art I did wasn't enough.

The reality is: I like the idea of managing one blog for all of my artwork. I like how low-stress it is to have one, singular place I can still use a playground for my interests. I think it's a concept some people have forgotten is an option. Dare we call it a portfolio.

I am aware that the more "modern" way to conduct things, if you want to build an audience, is to have several blogs, each dedicated to one of your interests. But the very thought of managing 100 blogs every time I got a new interest makes my skin crawl and I know it would instantly suck the fun out of it for me.

I don't want to do that. I don't want to "build an audience", I just want to have a fun space for me. There are already so many social media sites out there besides tumblr, and if you're an artist that uploads to more than one, multiplying those by each of your fandoms? Sounds like more work than I want to do.

I can't remember the name of the artist, but I recall a few years ago one of the artists for the show Korra was bombarded with these sorts of messages when they started posting art that wasn't Avatar-related. And they said something to the effect of "I gave 2 years of my life to this show. Let me explore something new." And I'll never forget that. I feel the same way.

The theme of this blog is "my art". That's it. My interests change, sometimes circle back, and change again. And that's ok—that's how artists keep art fun for themselves. Every artist deserves a playground where they can share and connect with other people who are also just as excited about their newest thing. That's the joy of it.

Keeping yourself in a box just because that's what people want or expect you to do is the death of creativity. I am at peace with people unfollowing if our interests don't align anymore. This was never a blog for catering to anyone but myself, and that is ok.

So those messages don't bother me anymore. I know they're coming. I know they will always be there. And, every time, I will find new folks who do want to share in my new interest. I think in many ways I like starting over again. It feels refreshing.

But more than that, I know the importance of keep a space for myself online where I can be as creative and fun and silly as I like, chasing after the latest thing that is making me smile.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend that our mutual friend doesn't care for us as much as we care about her?

'Harriet' (20F), 'Daisy' (19F) and I (20F) have been friends since we were kids. 6 years ago Harriet was forced to leave the country - we planned on all meeting again once we were adults and could afford it.

Daisy has wanted to visit Harriet for over a year now, but I've been reluctant because Harriet never shows the same interest. She never seems very excited when the topic is brought up, and I also find it questionable that we should have to visit her rather than the other way around, considering there are two of us here and one of her over there.

Daisy admits that Harriet doesn't reply to her texts that much, and I barely talk to Harriet at all nowadays. It does make me sad but I don't want to spend my money going to see someone who doesn't really want to see me. Daisy has been abandoned and let down by her friends time and time again, and basically never gives up on people. She has a lot of insecurities about people secretly hating her, which is why I could never bring myself to tell her how I really felt. After all, I don't think that Harriet hates us, I just think she's moved on with her life.

About a week ago I found out that about a year after Harriet was forced to leave, she returned to the country without telling anyone - I guess this was to visit family. I found out from a mutual friend who lives in the same country as Harriet. I was shocked and angry that she hadn't said anything - I would have been prepared to travel to whatever part of the country she was staying in just to see her. I was especially shocked because she was still very close to Daisy and I at this point, so I didn't understand why she would lie. She would constantly talk about how badly she wanted to see us, but was in the same country as us and didn't say anything!

Yesterday Daisy brought up the topic of visiting Harriet again, and with the information that I now have, I found myself unable to keep my thoughts to myself. I told Daisy that Harriet has moved on and that we shouldn't waste our money on her, and that if she cared that much she would make more of an effort to talk to us, or even visit us herself. I also told her about my recent discovery.

Daisy was really sad and started crying over the phone, saying that she didn't understand why no one wanted to stay friends with her. I felt awful and did my best to comfort her, explaining to her that I didn't think Harriet had any bad feelings towards her and that she had just grown distant over time. This didn't really seem to help though and she hung up and hasn't been online since.

To be honest I'm still confused about a lot of things, like why Harriet lied about not being able to visit before, but I still think that what I said was fair. I don't want Daisy to waste her affection on someone who doesn't feel the same way. I will admit that I hold a lot of resentment towards Harriet due to messed up things she has done to me in the past - however, I don't think I've been blinded by my anger towards her, I think the conclusion I came to was fair and unbiased. Still, I feel guilty, since what I said seems to have badly affected Daisy, and maybe I'm biased against Harriet without knowing? So, AITA?

[charliehoennam]

karma's kiss

a/n: @harmonity-vibes requested a smutty lil fic with anthony because he is foooooine so here it is

Pairing: Anthony Saint Claire x F!Reader

Summary: Anthony finds himself swindled by a con-artist and tracks her down to get his own justice.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, dark themes like rough sex, asphyxiation, stealing, dub-con, smut (let's remember anthony is not a nice guy like our sweet little adorable professor so read at your own risk)

SHARING IS CARING SO REBLOG IF YOU LIKE IT

The bar you’re in is far different compared to the dive bars you started in your early years.

Your job isn't the kind you include in resumés, but it's paid your bills since college and you've managed to work your way up to a more high-end clientele.

Sitting at the bar, you can feel eyes boring into your side as you sip your daiquiri.

You smile at the bearded man, waiting to see if he'll approach you first. And, indeed, he does taking your smile as an invitation.

"Staring isn't very polite, you know" you smirk setting your drink on the bar as he sits next to you.

"Well, can you blame me? A beautiful woman like you in a dress like that is bound to get some attention, right?" he smiles slyly.

You smile pretending to be flattered by his compliment. It's nothing you haven't already heard before. It might be just bait that he tells all the girls he meets to get what he wants out of them, but you have to admit it feels a little nice coming from someone as attractive as he is.

In order to hide your real name and identity, you give him a fake name as you hold your hand out to shake his.

"Anthony," he smirks shaking your hand lightly before lifting his whisky for a sip. "Are you here with your husband?"

He glances down at the fake wedding ring and band on your finger. There is no husband. You just wear the rings because you've found it makes you more intriguing to most men.

You never really understood why, but if you had to guess, you'd guess it must have something to do with the chauvinistic idea of conquering something that's not theirs or that belongs to another man.

It doesn't exactly surprise to see a gold band on his finger too.,

"Are you here with your wife?" you retort.

"Touché," he smirks raising his glass to your witty observation.

"I'm not here with my husband, but he does know I'm here."

"Your husband lets you go out alone dressed like that?"

"We have an open relationship."

Anthony's smile stretches from ear to ear. Attending underground sex clubs, he's no strangers to forbidden kinks. They arouse him. Your beauty attracted him, but now, you have his full attention.

"That's interesting. You don't hear that every day," he smirks. "Tell me more about this relationship. I'm intrigued."

"Well, once a week, he allows me to go out on my own. I like getting to meet new people and he likes watching me get fucked by other men."

Your bluntness has his cheeks turning pink as he beams with amazement.

"So it's a kink?"

"I prefer the term alternative modern lifestyle," you smile mischievously at him. "Keeps the marriage spicy."

"I can imagine. And how's it work huh?"

"I go out, find a very attractive man," you explain glancing at his lips and making no effort to hide it. "We talk, drink, kiss and I take him home to fuck me in front of my husband."

"Seems simple enough" he smirks catching your glance at his lips. "How do you choose the man?"

"Consent is the most important factor, of course. If he's not alright with that, then everything stops. But I tend to gravitate towards those that are more pleasing to the eye."

"And are there candidates yet?"

"The night is still young. This is still my first drink and I'm already interviewing one," you reply with a cheeky smile.

"Oh, my. I am very flattered," he chuckles pretending to be surprised. "I'm very interested. Although I've never done anything like this before."

"You'd be surprised at how many have."

"I'm guessing a lot?"

"More than you think. Open relationships are becoming more and more common and accepted nowadays."

It hardly takes him any further convincing. You can tell by the way his legs and hips squirm in his seat he's turned on by the sole thought of it.

Moving to a more private table, you sit in the corner of the high-end bar sharing details about what you and your husband enjoy.

Anthony is up for anything. Just the thrill of fucking you in front of your husband already his dick leaking with anticipation.

The hardness in his pants is noticeable when you place your palm on his crotch after he tells you how big he is when you ask about his size.

Granted he is perfectly sized and thick, it doesn't change any of the plans you have for him.

You invite him to come back to the motel you're staying at under the guise you and your husband always go out of town for your escapades to avoid running into people you might work who wouldn't understand your lifestyle.

A sexual deviant himself, he knows just how well it is to have to hide your sexual fantasies and desires from others.

In the backseat of a taxi on the way to the motel, his lips are all over yours mauling yours as his head tilts to the side. His tongue wrestles for dominance between you. The thumb on the hand on your neck strokes your cheek.

His touch warms you from the inside. You can't let yourself give in, but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy it while you can.

You have to focus. This is our opportunity to get what you need.

Your hand glides down his chest under his leather jacket towards his crotch. With a firm unexpected squeeze to his cock, he moans into your mouth.

The driver can't help but glance at the rearview mirror, torn between stopping you from getting too heated and letting you go on to enjoy the show.

You palm Anthony's cock over his jeans. You have to admit, the man does have a nice size that makes your panties wet.

Reveling in your touch, his knees spread to invite you in as his torso adjusts to face the front.

"You like that, huh?"

"Can't wait to get my mouth around it."

"Why wait?" He smirks darkly.

Taking a glimpse at the driver, he immediately looks away and back to the road when your eyes meet his in the mirror.

You smirk back at Anthony as he unbuttons his jeans and pulls his cock out.

Lowering into the darkness of the backseat, you lean down to take it into your mouth, letting your tongue swirl around his tip to lap at his precum.

Anthony closes his eyes as his head dips backwards at the welcomed warmth of your mouth. With one arm stretched along the backseat, he uses the other to rest his hand against your bobbing head.

Too lost in the sensation, he doesn't notice or feel your hand sneaking into his pocket to steal his wallet.

The thrill of accomplishing your mission excites you enough to add a little more enthusiasm into the blowjob until the driver clears his throat to get your attention as the car rolls to a stop.

"We're here. That'll be 8.50."

"I got it" you say quickly to stop Anthony from looking for his wallet.

Taking a 10-dollar bill from your bra while Anthony tucks himself away, you hand the money to the driver and thank him telling him to keep the change.

Climbing out of the cab, you lead him to your room fumbling for your room key.

Anthony follows you inside and takes a look around. The room is nothing fancy as expected but it has a double bed which is all you need. Or so he thinks.

"My husband is on his way. He'll be here soon. Why don't you get comfortable while I freshen up real quick? I'll be just a minute."

You smirk sliding your hands up his chest to gently push at his black leather jacket.

“Don’t mind if I do,” he smirks down at you with lustful eyes.

As he shrugs off his jacket, you walk to the bathroom. While he takes his shoes off, you quickly race to the back wall of the bathroom to open the high shower window. You pop off the bug screen and let it fall to the ground. The collision makes an echoing noise and catches Anthony’s attention.

“Fuck,” you whisper to yourself.

Using the ledge of the dingy tub, you pull yourself up into the window and see-saw on the sill. You planned the escape; should’ve also planned the landing of it.

Your heart races when Anthony knocks on the locked door.

“Hey, sweetheart. Everything ok in there?” he questions growing suspicious.

Your legs flail in the air, knocking the shower rod and one of your high heels down. The clattering encourages him to throw his shoulder against the door to bust it open. Pushing yourself forward, you hold your arms out to soften the drop to the ground outside just as Anthony is able to break inside, catching a quick glimpse your feet just before they slip out of view.

“Hey! The fuck are you going?!” Anthony shouts bewildered as he pats his pockets for his phone and realizes his wallet is gone so he darts to the window, standing on his toes to pop his head outside.

It dawns on him that this is a set-up. Everything you told him was merely a lie to get him alone. And now he’s stuck in a run-down motel with no way to chase after you.

“Hey! Get back here, you little fucking thief!”

Giggling to yourself with his wallet in hand, you quickly limp toward the car you’d left in the alleyway behind the motel specifically for your get-away.

He tries to climb out through the window and, although he’s much better at it than you, you’re already speeding down the alleyway and onto the road when he stands up. He tries to run after you, but he knows his feet are no match to your car.

“Fuck!” he shouts angrily as he pants.

Standing in the alleyway, he quickly whips out the cellphone you thankfully managed to leave behind and types in the digits of your license plate in his digital notes before he can forget them.

Once they’re saved, he goes through his list of contacts which – unfortunately for you – is rather long and full of assorted figures. Some, which thanks to his night job in an underground sex club, happen to be people in powerful positions. Judges, lawyers, law enforcement. You name the job and he’s guaranteed to have someone of the area in his pocket.

Cashing in a favor with a sketchy local sergeant of the police department, Anthony asks him to notify him as soon as they get a hit on your plate. The sergeant doesn’t ask any questions. Anthony wouldn’t answer him with anything other than a threat of blackmail if he didn’t, but the less he knows, the better.

It takes a few days, but Anthony eventually gets a call informing of the car’s whereabouts and original owner. He’s not surprised to know it’s not you.

Assuming you live practically on the run, moving from motel to motel, he knows he has to act fact but still cautiously. There’s still quite a bit that he doesn’t know about you like if you work with any other parties or if you impose any danger. And if so, what level of danger could it be?

With a recently purchased gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans, he sets his helmet on and speeds off to the illegally given address. He lurks from a distance and waits until you finally leave the room.

He keeps his distance from you, but decided to stalk you as you go about your day, buying groceries and clothes with his money. There wasn’t much pocket money, but you were able to clone his cards and identity to cash up a couple thousand.

He could’ve stopped you and cancelled all his cards, filed an official report. But you’ve would known and been caught before he’s had the chance to make you pay. And a couple thousands aren’t going to cause a lot of financial troubles for him, thanks to his fairly wealthy income from the night job.

As you go about your day, you can’t shake the feeling that someone is onto you. You keep looking over your shoulder, but there’s no one there. No one that you notice, at least. But then again, you always get this feeling after a theft.

You head back to the motel where you’d left your car. After a theft gone right, you always opt to get around on foot with the most important things in your bag at the slightest sight of a cop. That way, if anyone is onto you, it could provide you some time to get away.

Assuring the motel is safe, you head to the room you’d paid to stay at for the night and unlock the door. But just as you open the door, you instantly feel cold metal press against the side of your head. Your groceries drop and scatter on the ground as you hold your hands up.

“Don’t get smart again. I found you once and I can find you again.”

You can’t see the face of the figure, but you can tell it’s a man and you’re almost certain who he is.

“Close the door and step away from it.”

You don’t have much of an option. Run away and he’ll find you again. Or worse, shoot you down in the parking lot of this crappy motel and that’s not how you want to die.

With your hands carefully raised, you slowly close the door with your foot and walk deeper into the room just as ordered. You keep your back turned to him as he locks the door and face him only after he says you can.

You don’t have much of an option. Run away and he’ll find you again. Or worse, shoot you down in the parking lot of this crappy motel and that’s not how you want to die.

With your hands carefully raised, you slowly close the door with your foot and walk deeper into the room just as ordered. You keep your back turned to him as he locks the door and face him only after he says you can.

The newfound power intoxicates him. It swells him with an authority that he's never felt before. You, on the other hand, are filled with fear. You try to play it cool to avoid letting him know that you're actually scared.

"I want my money and my documents back."

"I can give your documents back and all the copies I've made. But the money is already gone. I already spent it."

"Well, it seems like we got a bit of a predicament here, doesn't it?"

"I can pay you back, but it's gonna take some time."

"I don't have time," he lies. "I want it back now."

"I don't have any money now. Why do you think I do this?" You sigh. "Look, what if... I paid you back some other way?"

"What other way?"

You lower your hand to unbutton your white shirt and reveal your lacy bra.

"This is what you wanted in the first place, isn't it?"

His eyes lower from your face down to your chest. He stays silent, considering your offer but his gun stays aimed at you. 

"It was..  it still is."

"So why don't you put that away and take what you want?"

A sly smirk grows on his lips. His eyes darken with a sudden and familiar lust that revisits his being.

"I'm gonna keep this, just in case." He stated walking over to sit on the bed, manspreading his legs as he keeps the gun pointed at you.

"C'mere. On your knees."

Glancing at the weapon, you take slow steps to approach him and kneel between his knees.

"You know what to do. You did it so well before. Don't be shy now." 

You nod and raise your shaky hands to unbutton his jeans, pulling down his zipper.

Feeling the end of the barrel rest against the side of your head, you carefully release his dick from it's confine. It's not quite hard as before, but its getting there with you under his will.

You hold his dick up to take him into your mouth, lathering his member with your spit.

"Eyes up here, sweetheart."

His order is your command which you obey. You don't know what he's capable of and you don't want to find out.

Looking up at him, he relishes in the contrast of your teary eyes and dirty mouth full of his dick. He takes his free hand and threads his fingers into your hair, holding it back to keep it away from distracting you. How thoughtful, you think sarcastically.

Anthony's moans and groans fill the room as he breathes heavily, cock twitching with every bob of your head.

The grip on your hair tightens with every twitch. After forcing himself to the back of your throat, you buy yourself sometime to breath by licking up the backside of his heavy cock and swirling your tongue around his dome, putting your saliva pool against your plush lips.

"Fucking Christ" he groans deeply as he watches your mouth working its wonders, his angry cock throbbing with desire.

"Take them off" he orders nodding at your clothes.

Obeying his command, you slowly stand between his knees and unbutton your pants. He tisks as you move too fast.

“Slow… and turn around for me.”

You turn your back to him and slowly push your pants down, gliding your palms over your cheeks as you undress just to tease him a little. You figure you might as well enjoy it.

He smirks at the sight of your matching panties and admires how they perfectly hug your curves. As you bend forward to push your pants down to your ankles, he takes advantage of your position and trails the edge of his gun down the split of your cheeks.

Your body tenses at the touch of cold metal. You remind yourself to take calming breaths to keep yourself together.

“Nice fucking ass you got here, sweetheart,” he simpers, poking the barrel at your clothed cunt from behind. “Bet you got a cute pussy too…. Show me it.”

You gulp and lift your trembling hands to slide your panties down to reveal yourself to him. Although Anthony is undoubtedly attracted, you don’t trust him. The fact that your life is essentially in his hands is still in your mind. You comply to his orders, but you pray that he doesn’t hurt you too much. Not enough to be fatal at least.

“Atta girl.” He says removing the gun from between your legs. You quietly sigh in relief.

“Now come on over here.” Anthony stands behind you and presses the gun into your side.

“On the bed. Face down.”

Accepting your fate, you climb onto the mattress and lay on your front. Out of your view, you hear the jostling of his belt as he removes it with one hand and climbs on top of your legs to lock you in place. Setting the gun beside his foot, he takes the belt and tightens the leather tightly around your wrists.

You wince as the leather pinches your skin, but he doesn’t seem to care if it hurts you. You can feel his emotionless eyes on you, so you turn your head to the side to avoid look at him.

He climbs off of you and the bed, but he stays close. You try to zone out as you listen to him undress.

Walking around the bed now completely naked, he kneels down to pet your hair and wipes a tear from your cheek.

“Listen, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the scare. I’m not gonna kill you, alright? I’m not a monster.”

You nod looking up at him confused.

“I’m just gonna fuck you. Really, really hard. I think I deserve to get my money’s worth, right? Even you gotta agree with me on that.”

His words don’t exactly ease you, but the promise that he won’t shoot you dead is enough. After all, he doesn’t have to. It’s not like you can simply go to the cops to report him anyways.

“Ok,” you agree. “C-can you just please put the gun away?”

“I can do that. But don’t get smart. Deal?”

“Deal.”

He walks back around the bed and takes his gun to set it on the nightstand. You feel like you can finally breathe after what seemed like hours holding your breath.

You feel his weight on the mattress as it dips beside you again. He pulls you up by your arms and stands you on your knees.

“I want you to do something for me first. Sit on my face. Can you do that?”

You’re almost surprised by his request and the contact on your wrists as he unbuckles the belt, letting your wrists go just to bind them again but in front of you this time. He wants to…. pleasure you?

“I’ll make you cum if you’re a good girl.”

Once he’s on his back on the bed, you straddle his head carefully and lower your hips down to meet with his hungry mouth. With your ass spread by his hands, you lean forward to place your hands on his taut abs for balance.

You can’t hold back the moan you release as he licks a long-wet stripe from your hardening clit to your puckered ring of muscle. The hands that keep your cheeks apart squeezes into your flesh when his tongue begins its work on your pussy.

Anthony just can’t enough of you. Your taste is wonderfully delicious to him that he just has to fuck you with his tongue. And the position allows him to flick at your sensitive nub, making your walls slick.

“Jesus, fuck!” you gasp as he toys with your clit bringing you closer and closer to the brink. You’re so turned on although you feel like you shouldn’t be. He held you at gunpoint. This is wrong. So wrong, but it feels so fucking good.

His beard heightens the sensitivity between your legs as his nose pokes at your asshole. He pulls your hips down against his face harder, restricting himself of air.

“T-That feels so good!” you whine with tears prickling at your eyes feeling the pleasure snaps in waves throughout your body.

You’re not sure what comes over you, but you find yourself leaning forward to wrap your mouth around his cock again. The burning heat that bubbles from your core provoking yet another orgasm has you so hot for him that you need to suck him off.

He chuckles surprised by your sudden urge as he lifts your hips up to hiss out in pleasure. It doesn’t take him long to start thrusting his hips violently up, shoving his cock down your throat. He stops suddenly and pushes you off him, feeling himself close.

Shoving you onto your back, he spreads your legs and eagers aligns his dick with your hole before pushing himself into your wetness.

His hips relentlessly thrust against yours as he pounds you raw. The sounds of your wet cunt squelching around him make your cheeks warm as you realize how wet you really are for him.

The lecherous stare down at your body proves he’s getting closer. He pants as he watches your breast bouncing free from your bra. Eager to feel them, he stills and tear the bra in half to expose you completely.

He growls dipping his head to grope and maul at your breasts. Your skin burns with his prickly beard and rough teething kisses.

With one hand squeezing your breast, the other sneaks around your neck. He squeezes your neck and throat, choking you as he restricts your oxygen. His hips drill you into the mattress as you watch him, slowly losing your conscious.

Anthony looks like he’s been possessed by something else and it scares you a bit. You claw at his wrists as you feel the pressure in your head weighing heavy. Your eyes roll to the back of your head from the combination of pleasure and pain.

You gasp for air as he finally releases your neck and fills you with his heavy load, spilling into your pussy in hot ropes.

He pants as he eases his cock out and into you again, admiring how his cum trickles out from your hole and coats his cock.

“We’re gonna have a very long night.”

“Night?” you question. Could you even last a night with him?

“I told you. I want my money’s worth.”

[dearinsaniiiity]

In The Light Of Our Demise

► 𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 - photographer!wooyoung x fem!reader!Y/N x OT8Teez! (𝒶𝓈 𝒻𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓃𝒹𝓈) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 - fluff, friendship, unrequited love, slice of life, angst, plot twist, slow burn, friends to-strangers to-friends , moving on , happy ending (or is it?) ◄ ► 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 - depression, anxiety ◄ ► 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 - 23.4K ◄ ► 𝚂𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 - someone who was afraid of getting out of their comfort zone and someone who was afraid of committing to anything and anyone is never a good combination. Would Wooyoung remain in your life if you confessed? If he left, what would you do? ◄

► 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜 - Hello! This is my first fanfic, at least here on Tumblr! Cut me some slack I suppose lmao and let me know if I should continue. If so, let me know if you want to be added to my future taglist <3 ◄

I'm not God, but they're trying to kill me. This all-knowing desperation I've been feeling for quite sometime now, I mean.

I don't remember the last time I've felt this lonely. There were times where my emotions felt a little too much to handle, but not to the point that rendered me unable to want to feel alive. Today, the sadness drained through me rather than lingering outside my skin, traveling through every nerve, but to my surprise, it rather electrified me to want to do something.

That's good, right? And so I did.

"I'll be back at noon," I told my kind mother, passing through her to try and get to the door before I changed my mind.

"I'm glad you've been going out lately, honey. Let me know when you need anything, okay?" she beamed, quite pleased that I was trying to do something with my life rather than mope around in my room all day.

Oh, how clueless she was. The truth was, I didn't want to let her know about the consuming melancholy that my heart had been feeling. 

Ever since I had decided to quit my job, nothing but bad luck has been coming my way. I know it was stupid, to just up and go just because I was unsatisfied with what I was doing, but truth be told, I was not happy anymore. I could never go on doing something I truly wasn't happy with.

But I was bored out of my mind, and most of all, I felt utterly useless and hopeless. It was dangerous - the path my thoughts were taking me. It's the road that led to my burnout, and the impatience this world had always given me.

"No point in trying to convince myself that things would be different," I mumbled to myself, sitting on the park bench nearby.

Click, click

I was so lost in thought that I didn't even notice that my feet took me to the park I always went to when I just wanted to be alone in my thoughts and think of my next move. I suppose I was always so discontented with my life that my body had subconsciously learned what to do on its own.

Click, click

No matter, I thought, I was the master of pushing it through. My path had been very foggy lately, anyway. I just have to be patient if the world can't do it for me so I can wait for it to clear up and show me the next adventure that lay ahead of me. 

Click, click

I frowned, what in the hell is that clicking sound I keep hearing?

I pulled my cardigan close, as if doing so would stop the exposure I suddenly felt from being out in the open. I looked around, but there was nothing. There were parents with their children, dogs with their owners, coaches with their students, and ducks with their ponds.

"Miss? You dropped this---"

"Oh my God!" I squealed like cattle about to be slaughtered as I turned around to find the source of the sudden voice. I had always been jittery, you see.

I turned around, and the most handsome man I have ever seen in my life was behind me holding what seems to be my phone. I didn't even realize that I'd dropped it while I was busy spacing out in my thoughts.

His eyes were widened, directed at me. I guess I'm not the only jittery one here. 

He had average length hair that swayed with the oncoming wind, but what set it apart was its bright red tone that was as vivid as the flowers that surrounded both of us. His lips were plump and raised into a charming smile and his steps had a bounce to them.

Oh God, be still, my beating heart. I blushed, the red tinge on my cheeks vibrant in contrast to my pale skin. I hope he can't hear how loud my heart is beating.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you," I was meeker than I usually was.

He saw the surprise register on my face before I could hide it. His smile becomes wider, I guess he gets this a lot, and the heat on my face gets warmer. If he wasn't good-looking before, he definitely was now.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't mean to scare you," he laughed, handing me my phone. I slowly took it, praying that my hands didn't shake too much.

I swallowed. Even his voice was pretty. It reminded me of soft marshmallows, so pillowy and comforting, so sweet and yet so rich at the same time. I mentally slap myself, I haven't gone out in days and the first thing I do is openly check out a guy who was nice enough to give me my phone back instead of running away with it?

My voluntary isolation sure did its number on me.

But then I saw it. There was something slinging across his shoulder - a bag. It donned a big camera that I knew for a fact was quite expensive. So that was the clicking sound I heard earlier, he was a photographer.

"Ah," he began, scratching the back of his head. "I was snapping pictures of you earlier with this." He gently pats the bag. "Would you like to see?" 

"S-Sure," I agreed, hesitant.

"I'm not a creep, I promise," he panicked, animatedly defending himself by making a point to wave his hands in front of me. I giggled a little. He was cute. "I do this for a living, street photography I mean."

"I see. I, uh, sorry to disappoint you, Mr..?"

"Oh. I'm Wooyoung. And why are you sorry? I'm the one who took photos of you randomly," he tilted his head in confusion.

"It's not that," I paused, biting my lip, not knowing how to proceed. I don't miss the way his eyes follow the movement. "I haven't been myself lately, so I probably look unfit for your photography concept..."

I wasn't trying to fish for any sort of compliment. It was true, I did look and feel like shit, to put it simply. I haven't been taking care of myself lately - my clothes were wrinkly, my hair was a bird's nest, my eyes had no life in them, and my face has been splotchy with my dark circles and zit marks.

Unlike him. He was casual, but there was coordination with his outfits, and they looked impeccably new.

"On the contrary, Miss...?"

I laughed a bit. He was cute, and very playful at the same time. What a dangerous combination. His mouth curls into a good-natured smirk. "Y/N. Drop the 'miss', it makes me feel old." 

It was his turn to laugh a bit. "On the contrary, Y/N, yours was the best photo I have taken this week."

My blush deepens immensely, more than I thought I was able to. I matched it with a small, shy smile as my eyes shone in a way that only genuine happiness and appreciation can bring.

I've always been like that. I wish I didn't get so flustered easily. In a flash, my cheeks are rosy and anyone can peek inside my emotions as I had pried my insides open so they watch for themselves.

"Somehow I don't believe that," I chuckled, mentally rolling my eyes.

"No, I'm serious, here," Wooyoung zips his bag open, brings out the expensive looking camera, and presses a button that brings it back to life. "I'll show you."

Wooyoung scoots closer to me, bringing the equipment near my face so I can see the screen. I was so embarrassed at how much I had the urge to sniff him.

He smelled so good - very musky, leathery but very clean at the same time. It gives me the image of a pure sophistication behind a light curtain that envelops you in warmth.

I let out a light gasp, complete surprise taking over the shyness I felt earlier.

There I was, staring out nowhere in particular at the bench I was brooding my bad mood off on. But it wasn't me that stole both of our attention, there was a beautiful wisteria tree I hadn't noticed before behind me.

It was beautiful. The way they cascaded into this marvelous tendrils of purple beauty blended with how forlorn my expression was; the longing, regret, and despondence clearly evident, like the slow descent of its lilac petals, way down they go.

To the naked eye, it looked like a depressed girl with a pretty tree in the background, but to me and Wooyoung, it was so much deeper than that. The photo held so much depth, because at the same time, there was relief in my features. The sadness was exquisite.

"You," I paused, swallowing to force the words out of my mouth. "You made me look human."

"What makes you think I didn't capture you because you were the most human looking in here?"

His smile was the prettiest thing I've seen in a while, prettier than the wisteria, and I can tell it was genuine. I could have melted in a puddle right there. His eyes sparkle like the night sky as he browses at each photo he had taken. He had the passion I lacked.

"Do you want copies of it?" Wooyoung inquired.

Did I want copies of it? Did I want to stare at myself and get reminded every time about how lonely my life currently was? I don't know, I wasn't the sentimental type. He senses my hesitation and frowns a bit. 

He grabs a small piece of card and hands it to me. "Here's my card," he points at it. "That's the address, come swing by whenever you have the chance and I will give it to you, okay?"

I bit my lip apprehensively with a nod, pocketing the card in my cardigan. "Alright, I will think about it."

"I hope you do," he clicks his tongue, swiping it across his bottom lip. I stopped breathing for a second. "I wouldn't want to waste such a pretty photo."

I swallowed. "A-Ah, do I have to pay for it?"

"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he smirked, gently tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "There, much better."

I froze, not really knowing what to do. I sighed softly, I have been so deprived of touch because I poured all of my time on work. Well, at least what used to be my work. 

Wooyoung juts his hand out, waiting for me to shake it. I grabbed his hand halfheartedly. "I hope we see each other again," he said.

After we said our goodbyes - him being bubbly to the very end as he walked away and me just nodding as I watched him go - I treaded my way home.

I took out the card he gave me earlier, which turned out to be a business card, I realized, and not just a personal card. Of course, Y/N, he just met you, why would he give you his personal details? As I inspected the card further, it brought me slight joy to know that his work place wasn't far from my house, just a couple of blocks away.

I was hesitant, truth be told, it was probably a one time encounter, most likely a business tactic to get someone to go into their studio and do business with them. I felt bad because Wooyoung seemed like a genuine person, but there was no way I was adding any sort of change in my current life right now, my mind was a mess as is.

With that, I crumpled up the card and threw it in the nearest bin.

I paused at the doorway, hesitating before anyone - Wooyoung - knew I was here. I knew I had to go in, and by God, I was nervous as hell. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself.

The curiosity had been eating away at me. It had been 2 weeks before deciding I would stop prancing around at it and just get it over with.

To hell with it, I thought, hastily putting on the most mediocre outfit I can get away with today. It wasn't meant to impress, a simple white tee paired with jeans and sneakers was enough to look decent and be comfortable at the same time.

Deep inside, maybe I just wanted to see the striking photographer again and hear his voice; to see his sparkling eyes that quickly held me in like a moth to a flame.

I stepped in and was immediately greeted by a myriad of photographs that were just placed where they were, the closest thing we get to a time capsule. I was immediately amazed by how versatile the photos were - all of them had their own stories to tell.

A photograph of an old, vintage clock caught my attention. I'm not very knowledgeable, but it was an antique, I was sure of it. It was made out of wood that probably looked sleek during its era. 

Unconsciously, I touched the frame, like it would come back to life if I did. Then, I saw something at the bottom right of the frame. Taking a closer look, it was a series of small letters stamped on it.

J. WY/Budapest, Hungary/2023/Paradigm

I traced the embossed letters lightly with my fingertips. It was obvious that this one was Wooyoung's piece. He had a very particular style in his art, he tended to focus on the subjects and the corresponding backgrounds were something to compliment the subject, and not to supply added detail. It was very interesting.

"I can hear the gears in your head turning from where I am."

I was a deer in headlights once more with him. "You got a thing for sneaking up on me?" I teased.

There he was in his handsome glory leaning by the door with his arms crossed. "Maybe," he smirked coyly.

My heart went up to my throat when I realized that today, his hair slicked back today. I was able to see his face clearly, his beauty was insane. Heaven knows I would look like a wet chicken. He walks steadily towards me and stares fondly at the vintage watch photo.

"I went to Budapest with all of my friends, we all work in this studio together, for a vacation," he chuckled, reminiscing. "But I couldn't resist not taking the scenery for work. God, that place was beautiful..."

Just like you.

I cringed internally, turning my head a bit away from him so he couldn't see the grimace on my face. It wasn't a lie, he was beautiful, but I wasn't going to admit that to him, or anybody for that matter.

"I like them," I thoughtfully mumbled.

Wooyoung turns to look at me, and I tried very hard not to look at him back by pretending that I was inspecting the photo furthermore. There was not a lick of knowledge in my head about photography, I hope he doesn't notice that. 

He stares for what seemed like forever, not blinking nor breathing, the effect was a slow burn waiting to incinerate the thin thread that bound us both. Although I wasn't looking straight at him, it was his lips that gave away that he knew that I knew what he was doing; he wasn't smiling, there was just a slight tilt on one corner.

"Do you, now?" he wondered, now full-on smirking.

"Yes," I affirmed. Was that rhetoric? Was I supposed to say no?

He audibly sighed, and I frowned. I know that sound, it was the sound of negative memories suddenly surging our minds, crashing in like a tidal wave, and my, once you start? They become very addicting, slowly consuming your thoughts until they become no more.

"You know, I never used to look at the photos I snap after I take 'em?" Wooyoung's smile was tinged with hurt, but more so of reminisce. "I just snap, snap, and then keep snapping and hope for the best outcome when San develops them in the back for me."

"Is that what you did when you stole those moments of mine a couple of weeks back?" I swallowed nervously, my body was already anxious and my brain is trying to catch up on it any moment now.

"No," he firmly articulated, so firmly my heart leapt to my throat and tightened it further. 

Wooyoung gently grabs my chin, turning it towards himself so I can make eye contact with him. "Because I knew you wouldn't come back to me until a few days after. I saw it in your eyes."

To him? This was the second time he stole something from me. Instead of a photo, now it was the breath from my lungs. I am on fire, my skin was burning from his touch. 

"Frankly, I wasn't expecting two weeks, that was longer than I anticipated," he chuckled lowly, his thumb caressing my cheek tenderly, and I let him. I was too frozen to protest.

"You knew all that even before you approached me that day? From that far?" I raised a brow. I was hesitant, but I was willing to play his game even though I knew he was probably bullshitting me.

"I'm a photographer, Y/N. It's my job to look through the windows of people's souls---"

"What do you want from me?"

Wooyoung lets go of my face, hands now in his pockets. He doesn't look a bit surprised, just a little concerned. "What do you mean?" he frowned, tilting his head to the side in wonder.

The paranoia in me had always been borderline terrified of not only trying new things, but also meeting new people in association. The underlying fear of deception from years and years of let down between family and friends has rendered me closed off of opening allowances to let myself experience new things and let people in.

"You act like we're friends, and we are not," I bit my lip, exasperated. "I don't like that."

"Are you saying that there are certain prerequisites to being friends with other people?" Wooyoung tuts, frowning deeper. "Everyone has to start from somewhere, no?"

He was right, I can admit that. I began to see how my self-deprecating thoughts had kept me all alone, and frankly, I was none the wiser on what it's like on the side.

"I'll tell you what, Y/N, how about I give you your photo and you can tell me what you're thinking over coffee, perhaps? I make a mean cup of coffee," Wooyoung suggested kindly, his eyes shining in anticipation for my response.

I frowned, shuffling my feet in anxiety. "What if people come inside your studio? And your friends?"

"Don't worry about that," he smiled, already taking a step towards the other room where he came from. "We actually don't open on the weekends. I just always came in because I was worried you would come looking for me when I wasn't here."

It was such a simple gesture, but it blew both my heart and my mind. My heart is so full right it could burst in any minute.

Wooyoung flashes me his million dollar smile, the one that made me want to see him again, and holds his hand out for me to grab. "Why are you hesitating?"

"I hesitate because I need to be sure because for the first time in a while, there are things that I do want, and the consequences of my errors would forever haunt me," I blurted uncontrollably, babbling before I could stop my mouth from speaking.

My mind began to work overload with anxiety but before I could act out on them, Wooyoung laughed out loud. His eyes crinkle upwards into the cutest crescents, and his beautiful lips stretched out with mirth. 

His laughter reminded me of a fox, loud and boisterous, and I couldn't help but join in with him as he warmed my soul and made my day. "You're fine, come on," he urged me in between laughter.

More photos, albeit with unfinished frames, greeted me when I followed Wooyoung into what I can only assume was the kitchen. It was small, but it was nice and actually very functional. I sat into one of the sleek, modern stools and leaned towards the small kitchen island while Wooyoung went to town and made both of us coffee.

"Sugar?" he absentmindedly asked.

"H-Huh?" I was a deer in sudden headlights.

Wooyoung seemed to be confused too as we both looked at each other in bewilderment. Without warning, his face contorts into a laughing mess again, making me blush.

"I was asking if you wanted sugar in your coffee," he chuckled. "Although if you want me to call you sugar, that could be arranged too."

I blushed even deeper, awkwardly covering my face in embarrassment. I felt the tips of my ears heat up and I must have looked so stupid in front of him. "Stop," I groaned, my voice muffled by my hands.

And being the gentleman he was, he did actually stop teasing me.

But it was mainly because he had two steaming mugs of coffee carefully balanced with his two hands as he walked towards me. I mumbled a 'thanks' when I received mine. 

"Now we can talk about why you're very sad," Wooyoung took a sip from his mug without breaking eye contact with me. I gulped.

My brows shot upwards in surprise and my eyes widened in apprehension at the same time. "How did you know I was sad?" I inquired, not sure on how to react.

Wooyoung smiled mischievously. "I just do," he winked.

Having no choice, and frankly having no one to talk to in general, I told him everything. I told him how I had quit my previous job because I was beginning to feel very unhappy with the toxicity that surrounded me and how suffocating it was to stay in a place where you weren't even wanted.

I told him how I was trying to look for another job, but the fear of trying a new one and not being sure if it was a good suit for me was a little daunting, so to speak.

He listened attentively to each word I said, not once interjecting to put his two cents in before I was done finishing, and only asking me some small questions for the sake of clarification. 

It almost makes me want to cry at how attentive he was to me, even though this was only the second time we're meeting. The way his eyes bore into me while I poured my heart out, the way he would nod and acknowledge the things I would say, he was such a good listener.

I can't say I've had too many good friends in my life, though there have been a few close ones, they were not enough for me to say that they were good to me. Wooyoung seemed to be a rare gem, one that I would love to keep for myself.

"What if I told you I know a place where you can start working?"

"You do?" I was hopeful.

Wooyoung nodded. "But are you sure you're going to be okay going to work so soon again?"

My chest warms up with his words. "I have to do it," I sighed deeply. "Y-You were right, if I don't start now, then I won't start at all."

He smiles broadly. "That's a good outlook, I like that..."

He proceeded to tell me about the boutique down the street a couple of blocks away from his studio and they were looking for someone to keep tabs of sale and returned products. As it turned out, the owner was Wooyoung's very close friend and the boutique was where they get their clothes and props whenever they had a photoshoot going on.

"He's a nice guy and I'm positive he'll like you, just let me call him so I can pitch in a word for you, hmm?" Wooyoung pulled his phone out and was about to dial the number, but I interjected before he could do it.

"W-Wait, don't do it," I squeaked, holding my hands out to him to stop him from doing so.

"What's the matter?" Wooyoung's eyes softened at my panicked state and I almost felt bad. I barely knew this man and he probably thinks I'm so pathetic already. It was disheartening.

"You've helped me so much already, I'd feel bad if you did this for me," I admitted.

"And what exactly have I done for you?"  

"Listening to me rant was a big thing for me, and you do make a mean coffee," I giggled, he smiles shyly. "And you gave me justice on the photo you took of me."

"Speaking of that," Wooyoung stood up from his stool. "Wait here."

He left to go back to the front entrance of the studio, and he came back immediately. "Here."

He nudged a square-shaped packaging in front of me. I took it and from touch, I knew it was a picture frame that he had wrapped so carefully and perfectly, there were no creases on the wrap. My heart was beating so fast and my fingers were shaking ever so slightly.

"Open it when you get home," he instructed. "And I'm going to call him, my friend I mean. If I'm helping you anyway, I might as well go all out on it." 

"It's not a big deal," Wooyoung continued when I didn't respond, playfully flicking my forehead. "What are friends for?"

An explosive sensation boomed its way into my head all the way down to my chest, leaving a searing type of numbness in its trail. "Okay," I mumbled.

Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to him because I told my mother I was only picking the picture frame up, I was not expecting to stay this long, so she was probably worried. Fortunately, Wooyoung understood and walked me out. We couldn't properly converse afterwards anyway because a client of his suddenly called out of the blue after he had dropped the call with his boutique owner friend.

We said our goodbyes and I speed walk all the way to my house with the carefully wrapped picture frame in my hands. There was an explosion in my brain - the good kind - and a surge of excitement that electrified my whole being. I could feel it in my bones.

This is the very time I have ever been excited with a mystery. I hated surprises growing up because I was scared I wouldn't like the surprise.

With no time to waste, I quickly locked myself in my room, taking all of my clothes off in a haste and replacing them with something more comfortable and nap worthy. I unwrapped the gift like an animal tearing its prey apart to find their treasure inside.

Tears found their way in my eyes. I had no words, the photo itself was beautiful, I had seen it before, but Wooyoung had left a small note taped on the frame for me to read when I opened it.

You're worth more than you think. Wanna hang out tomorrow, beautiful? I also make mean brownies ;)

I completely broke down, hysterically crying not from sadness, but from the joy of the events that have been happening to me. Maybe being his friend wasn't so bad after all.

"So you must be Y/N, correct?"

Having a direct connection like Wooyoung did wonders from my interview process and I was called exactly a week after he made the call. 

"Y-Yes, I am," I did a deep 90 degree bow immediately, but not before the man's eyes widened a bit. "L/N Y/N, Sir. I'm very h-honoured to be chosen for this role."

Needless to say, I am a nervous wreck. Wooyoung conveniently forgot to tell me that this was no ordinary boutique. It's a very well known fashion brand that had the catchy 'started from the bottom, now we're here' origin story.

I opened my eyes, I didn't notice they were tightly shut before, when I felt hands nudging me to stand up straight. "It's okay," he laughed. "I don't bite, please stand up..."

This one was handsome as well. He had an edgier style to him that was unique to him and him only. Think bold, defiant, and unconventional. His blue hair added to that grunge aesthetic.

He cleared his throat before speaking. "Kim Hongjoong, owner, and your future boss," he grinned.

My face pales a bit. The Kim Hongjoong? The great mind behind the boutique NO1LIKEME? The one Wooyoung had casually called and got me in? What has my life become in a month?

"Scaring the new girl already, Joong?"

I turned around, and a taller man with dark hair and almond shaped eyes smiled lightly at me with his thick lips. I almost rolled my eyes, either I'm losing my mind, or Wooyoung, himself, and all of his friends are all damn attractive.

"Oh, this is her?" he pointed at me, to which Hongjoong nodded. "I see. Song Mingi, thank you for considering us."

Thank me? I scoffed internally, the co-founder of NO1LIKEME is thanking me for working with them? I suppose that was why they were successful.

Mingi excused himself to man the business while Hongjoong had toured me around the shop. It was a lot bigger on the inside than I had initially thought.

I couldn't help but become very excited as Hongjoong showed me how he personally designs most of their pieces without trying to mass produce the majority of their products, which was very respectable on his end because mass producing can downgrade their quality.

The brand that I only reached in my dreams is now my workplace. I have to thank Wooyoung personally when I see him again.

They needed someone to do inventory checks and match them with the accountancy department. Hongjoong has a big project coming soon to collaborate with an international brand and Mingi has to take over for now while he's abroad. Fair enough.

As we were about to go into his office to sit down and discuss further, I stopped in my tracks. The most gorgeous black, flared dress was hanging in one of the posts. It's very simple, but very versatile, not too long as it stopped above the knee, and the sheer bodice elevated it.

"You like it?" Hongjoong asked before I had the chance to feel the fabric.

"I love it, actually. I've never seen anything like it," I admitted.

He chuckled, plucking the dress from its hanger and handed it to me gently after he folded it in half. "Make sure it's well-loved, then, because it's yours now."

"W-What?" I spluttered, eyes wide open. "No, I was just admiring it, I can't possibly take it. C-Can I pay for it, at least?"

"Think of it as your first day perk," he shrugged. "And no offense, giving away one dress isn't going to make a dent in my business."

I blushed, embarrassed to the highest degree. I was just about to thank him profusely when Mingi suddenly popped his head by the door.

"They're here," was all he said before Hongjoong and I walked back into the main part of the shop.

And there he was - Wooyoung. He was in an engrossed conversation with Mingi along with another - surprise, surprise - handsome man. He had a manlier aura to him compared to the other three, which was an interesting mix to his feline features.

Wooyoung, as if sensing I was present, turned to my direction and the look in his eyes made my insides churn in excitement. His friends were all pretty, but none of them had an effect on him like he did.

"Hey Joong," Wooyoung greeted after approaching me and Hongjoong from across the boutique. He smiled even brighter as he ruffled my hair lightheartedly. "Are you taking care of my Y/N?"

I blushed beet red, lowering my gaze with a nervous laugh to avoid any sort of eye contact. He can't just say these things and not expect me to react! The cat-looking man Wooyoung was with smirks at me, clearly amused.

But maybe, it was just me putting more to it than I should. Wooyoung has been nothing but kind to me and I can't reciprocate that with anything other than gratefulness.

"Get the hell out of here," Hongjoong chided, rolling his eyes, but teasingly because his eyes were full of the same mischief, but they were gone when he turned to me. "My assistant, Jongho, will call you sometime this week so you can get started officially."

I stopped the urge to bow deeply again at him as he turned around to go back behind the shop and instead repeated multiple 'thank yous' at him to express my gratitude. 

"Y/N, this is San, my long time friend and co-worker in the studio," Wooyoung introduced me to the other guy he was with when there were just the three of us left.

San smiles and his deep dimples pop out along with it. He nods in acknowledgement. "Very nice to meet you, Y/N, I personally loved that one photo of yours that Wooyoung took."

"He is a good taker," I shyly replied, blushing at the compliment, although I knew it wasn't directly referenced to me.

San snorted. "Yeah, that's the only thing he's good at."

"Hey!"

Wooyoung playfully swatted San's bulky arms in defense. We all had a small laugh before they both noticed the bag I was holding with the dress inside of it. I simply told both of them that Hongjoong had just given it to me after I admired it.

Behind the strict demeanor of being a boss, was the very generous and giving nature of Hongjoong, apparently. He had meant to give me something anyway simply because I was now friends with them, and also because Wooyoung spoke highly of me. I slightly felt bad because really, I would have been fine without it.

I should have thanked him more before he left.

"I would love to stay with you both and hang out," San glances at his phone to check the time. "But I have business to attend to. Where's Mingi?"

I pointed at some random door where I saw the latter enter earlier. I was about to leave since technically today wasn't my first day, just an introduction to the shop, and was about to basically run back to my house, when Wooyoung follows me out the door and slings his arms across my shoulders.

"Oh, you're leaving San?" I halted on my tracks, blushing profusely like some hormonal teenager that's never been touched by the opposite sex before.

"He was never meant to come," he chuckled. "I was about to fetch you and he decided he was going to come with me since he has to pick up some props from this gig we have next week."

My heart was pounding against my chest like a bird wanting to be out of its cage. He was so close to me, so close I could smell his breath, his body heat seeping into my subliminal thoughts.

This was an invasion, an unwanted intimacy. How have I lived without it for so long?

"Are you tired?" Wooyoung suddenly asked, breaking my thoughts apart and scattering them with the wind.

"N-No, not really. Why?"

He pulls me closer, my body plush against his. I wanted to melt. "Good," he grinned. "Let's go."

He starts to walk, but I plant my feet firmly on the ground. "Woah, wait, where are we going?"

"Would you say yes if I said I already reserved a spot to this brunch spot?"

I blinked owlishly at him. "No, I can't, I already ate before I called Mingi..."

The truth was, I was slightly ashamed to go. The last thing I wanted was to be treated like some sort of charity case. 

Also the reason being, no matter how hard I try, I will think of this as a date.

Wooyoung pouts, his hold on me loosening a bit. "Pretty please? What, are you sick of me already because we hang out everyday now?"

My breath hitched, and I was this close to giving in, but I must prevail and resist those big, beautiful eyes that were holding me captive like a tight vice.

"Maybe next time---" I sheepishly began to say, but a prominent growl made both me and Wooyoung freeze.

I cursed under my breath in shame. My stomach had growled, begging to be fed, and had basically called me out on my lie.

"Yeah, you ate alright," Wooyoung sarcastically remarked.

The next thing I knew, Wooyoung had pretty much dragged me to this retro looking place. It was the opposite of intimate and warm, rather, it was very bright and lively, filled with colorful tables, a snack bar, and the entire wall was made to be a canvas for purposeful graffiti.

Immediately, we sat at the very end of all of the available tables and no time was wasted when we ordered something quick, yet filling for the both of us; a clubhouse sandwich for me and a cheeseburger for Wooyoung.

"This place is so nice, where'd you find it?" I was still mesmerized by the whole setup.

"Picked it out with you in mind," he smirked.

Instead of blushing like I usually do, I let out a genuine laugh. "Seriously," I shook my head playfully.

"I am serious," he expressed with a slight frown.

"Are you like this with all the people you meet?" I mused, curious on what he has to say.

"Like what?"

"You know, you are a very touchy-feely person, certainly very outgoing as well. Do you usually hang out with everyone like this?"

He paused, staring at me with a blank expression. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly drying up, my breath slowing down.

"Yes, I am," he articulated after a while. "I was born this way I suppose, I swear I don't purposely flirt with everybody I meet."

"Oh," I murmured.

My heart sank, it felt like concrete weighing it down. The high of being out with Wooyoung in one moment was cut down the next. Is this what heartbreak felt like?

A hand on top of mine fully enveloped it with warmth. "But you," Wooyoung's thumbs caressed my knuckles with a small smile. "You're different. I can't explain it, Y/N, I've been trying to reason with myself."

"What do you mean?" It was my turn to ask.

His hand squeezed mine, but I felt like my heart got squeezed instead. "Meeting you was unexpected, but I'm so sure it was written. You're very easy to talk to, and I feel like I'm someone and more. It's either you or I'm alone, do you understand what I'm getting at?"

Of course I do. There has not been a day where we haven't seen each other ever since I stepped foot in that studio.

"I do," I nodded my head, smiling purely at him. "I felt good with you in a way I haven't before with other people, Woo. Thank you for approaching me that day, I'm glad to be your...friend."

His eyes widen a bit and he freezes. "What?" I nervously asked. He giggled like a child with no worry, he was just happy. 

"You called me 'Woo', I like it." 

I nervously laughed, mumbling a little yeah. I didn't even notice.

Luckily for me, our food came in and swooped me out of an incoming awkward conversation, at least on my end.

I couldn't help but let out an endearing smile as I watched Wooyoung thank the waiter kindly and then drool at his cheeseburger. Everything about him was so captivating; he felt like a warm, cozy home.

For now, the glue keeping my heart together is strong. He deserved a good friend, and I will be that for him. 

Wooyoung opened his mouth midair when he caught me staring at him. "Dig in, your food will get cold," he mused with concern.

I nod my head at him with a smile. I think he and I are going to be fine.

Approximately seven months have passed by since that fateful day. Passing each time with Wooyoung, in the most obscure of situations, made my heart yonder and sing in tunes I never knew were so melodious.

"You know what I've been thinking lately?" Wooyoung mumbled all of a sudden.

He was currently laying on my lap while I played with his hair with one hand and held a book near to my face with the other. "What were you thinking, Woo?"

Safe to say, we've gotten so close with each other, soaking into moments enveloped in warmth, and the happiness was the contentment I never knew I'd ever feel in this lifetime.

Chasing time next to him was my salvation; my heaven on earth.

"Do you have a goal in this life?"

I raised a brow at the sudden question, peeking at him from where I was. He was already staring at me from below, and my blushing cheeks never really got better.

"Too deep of a question this morning," I chuckled. "But what do you mean? Everyone has a goal in life, whether they know it or not."

"True, but what I meant to say is, have you ever had a list of things you wanted to do? Regardless of how weird they are or how unattainable, do you know what I'm trying to say?" Wooyoung, and he did, he was always so dramatic about it.

I gave him a hum before responding. "Are you having an existential crisis?"

"Maybe," he laughed in that contagious, fox-like laugh of his. "So do you?"

"I-I have this small bucket list from when I was like 10," I admitted, lifting my book to hide my face.

Suddenly, it was yanked from me and thrown across the room. My mouth hung in shock. "Wooyoung!"

"Pay attention to me," he pouted.

"What the hell are you? A baby?" I rolled my eyes so far back up my head I was surprised they didn't get stuck behind my head.

"Only if it's yours--ow!" I yanked his hair in warning before I exploded from all the constant flirting. Some things never change.

"Anyway," I paused a bit to think, but decided to just say what was on my mind in the end. "I want to go to Mars."

I held my breath, expecting to hear an obnoxious cackle from Wooyoung, but there was nothing. When I glanced down, there he was - waiting expectantly for me to continue.

"I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."

"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."

The way Wooyoung was looking at me with a soft expression, and I must have looked dumb - my eyes were dilated a bit, dazed, like my brain was having a short circuit.

"Last, I gulped. "I want to hold my breath for a minute straight."

He raised his brows in amusement. "I'm not good at doing it," I defended myself, slightly embarrassed. "The most I've done was 15 seconds."

Wooyoung didn't say anything, he just stared at me intently in the eye as if he was counting all the eyelashes I had attached. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes. I frowned.

"What about you?" I softly asked. "Anything you'd like to do?"

It takes a solid minute for him to reply. "No, nothing in particular," he mumbled, his voice strained. "I don't like committing to something for a long time, you know that."

Indeed, I do. Once again, the shattering reality of how temporary all this was for the both of us was tearing me in two.

"There's just so much out there, you know?" Wooyoung continued. "So much to see, so much to feel, how can I just stay in one place?"

Wooyoung loved photography above anything else and was willing to spread his wings and venture out to find the perfect piece. He disliked committing his all in one place in case he had to leave one day. 

I remember the exact night we talked about it, a rainy day in July where we got too sentimental. I felt like choking, but there was nothing I could do, for this man was not mine to begin with.

"You know I will support you in whatever you want to do," I forced a smile on my face even though my mouth was on fire and my tongue hurt from the lies.

Wooyoung, again, stared at me intently. I blushed deep red, it looked like he was gazing through my skin and peeking through the darkest, deepest parts of my soul. The heat from his hooded eyelids emanated conflicted emotions, and then I saw it die as quick as it came.

"I know."

His sudden playful smirk painting his beautiful face throws me for a whiplash. Whatever that was, never happened.

He whips his phone out and starts tinkering with it with a concentration that looks too good on him - his stupidly attractive arms get veinier when he's concentrating and his brows furrowed together.

"Mars, huh?" he muttered, smirking, still not looking up from his phone.

"Yes? Don't make fun of me," I frowned.

"I'm not," he retorted. I looked at him in disdain. "I'm really not, I swear!"

I chose not to reply. Typical Woyooung, but that's what makes him so damn loveable; he was just being himself.

A couple of minutes later, Wooyoung pockets his phone, stands up dramatically, and hovers over me. "Get dressed," he said. "We're going somewhere."

I blinked repeatedly at him, and some more. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"What's wrong with my outfit right now?" I gestured to my oversized shirt and leggings.

He snorted comically. "Trust me, you're gonna need more than that."

Wooyoung saw the hesitation in my eyes. He hated committing as much as I hated trying new things. He extends his hand in front of me. 

"I've never led you astray, you know that," he whispered.

I nodded, taking his hand in mine. Even before he had asked, I was doomed anyway. How could I ever say no to him?

Turns out he was right - I did need the extra layers.

It was, indeed, very cold right now. Wooyoung and I were currently in line, a line so long that it reached the outside of the establishment, and it was where we currently were.

"Woo, are you sure about this?" I asked through gritted teeth. "It's too windy, I think my fingers will fall off soon."

As if on cue, he pulls me closer to him. "It shouldn't take too long," he mumbled. "You okay?"

I nodded, humming a reply back at him. As long as I'm with you, everything will be alright...

"I must say," I began. "I didn't take you to be the museum type of guy."

Yes, we were currently in line to get inside this museum I have never ever seen before even though I've lived in this city my whole life. Wooyoung got both of us last minute tickets. The place was currently jam packed, the line was endless from behind us.

"I'm not," he shrugged. "I want to show you something."

My mind went into overdrive when Wooyoung quickly glanced at me before he looked back at the pamphlet he was holding. It was only a split second, but it was enough for me to infer the anticipation he had for this.

It was contagious and the dread I felt ebbed away.

"History and geology are both at the far right, art is by your left, cartography is unfortunately out of service indefinitely, and science is just straight ahead..."

The monotonous, robotic voice from the speaker all over when we got inside could have instructed better, but it was definitely better than getting lost. This place was massive.

"Let's go," Wooyoung enthusiastically grabbed my hand as we explored all the things we passed by.

"Oh Woo, look at that!" I giggled uncontrollably and hastily pointed out what I saw.

It was a life sized wood carving of a wisteria tree - the most beautiful thing I have ever seen as of late. Wooyoung squeezed my hand as we both approached it, reveling at the detail of whoever was its creator.

"Reminds you of something, doesn't it?" he smirked.

"How can I forget how we met?" I playfully rolled my eyes.

He laughed out loud, causing some people to look our way, but we couldn't care less. "As much as I want to stay, there's somewhere else we have to be," he winked.

He led me to the direction he, then, wanted to go. The way he pulled me with him made my heart swell. At the very moment, I blocked all the sounds, the chatter, from the background and I could only see him. 

Just when I felt like leading my heart somewhere else, he pulled it back towards him; a magnet I had no choice but to get attached to.

"W-Wooyoung?"

My eyes widened in disbelief when we stopped at something in particular. "I-Is this w-what I think it is?" I stuttered uncontrollably, gripping his hand tighter and tighter until he put his other hand on top of mine to stop me from shaking.

"Relax," he cooed. "And yes, it most certainly is."

Wooyoung had led me to the science section of the museum where there was a small room we could go inside - a planetarium. Today they just so happened to be exhibiting the planet Mars.

Wooyoung took me to Mars.

"Shall we go in?" Wooyoung gently guided me inside. My legs were weighted with lead, I couldn't do this on my own.

My breath came out in short intervals, my feelings overwhelming my sense of excitement muddled into a plate full of shock, confusion, and joy as I looked around the place with Wooyoung still holding my hand in his as if he knew I'd fall without him.

The whole room had a blue haze to it, the ceiling itself was a cool shade of midnight blue with little specks of white dots that were presumably the stars in the night sky. 

They covered the whole blue like snowflakes, and they would twinkle, or rather, blink at us, watching what we would do next.

I turned to look at Wooyoung, and my tears started to fall on their own. There was panic in his eyes, but he pulled me into a quick hug, and I hugged him back just as tight.

We didn't say a word, just basking in our body heat together with the stars as our witness.

He kissed my forehead tenderly before pointing out to a distance. "Look."

I gasped rather dramatically - it was Mars itself!

Or at least, a really big ball that was probably made out of styrofoam and dyed into the shade of rust red that mimicked the real deal.

"Before we go there, wipe your tears, jelly bean. I want you to be happy today..."

But he wiped my own tears for me anyway. Oh Wooyoung, I thought with dread. How do you expect me to not selfishly wish for you to stay instead of finding your own dreams?

Instead of a repeating robot telling everybody Mars' information, luckily it was an actual person making a presentation, like that of a tour guide but this one instead explained the planet with so much depth and detail.

Wooyoung makes an exaggerated "ah!" sound when the lecturer explains that the reason why Mars was red was because of the oxidation happening in regolith, the soil on the said planet, and thus making it appear red.

"Does anybody know how many moons the planet Mars has?" the lecturer had questioned with a pleasant smile.

"Two!" a teenager from the crowd had answered.

"Correct! Does anybody know what they're called?"

The crowd made confused noises and everyone seemed to be stumped for answers. I looked around and nobody seemed to know what they were, and even Wooyoung mutters something about not knowing that even moons had names. I sighed, mentally preparing myself so I don't get nervous.

"Phobos and Deimos," I had managed to answer without stuttering.

The lecturer looked surprised, but happy nonetheless that at least someone in the crowd knew. "That is correct!"

"Nerd," Wooyoung snickered. I elbowed him, too happy to let his jokes get to me.

When it got too crowded, we both decided to leave the museum as a whole. One thing we both had in common was that after a while, the air got stuffy when there was too much going on in one place.

The bus ride home was silent, but comfortable, and in reality, we were both too tired to talk anyway. With an adrenaline of short-lived bravery, I leaned my head against Wooyoung's shoulder. I sighed in relief when he didn't push me away.

"Did you have fun?" he asked with genuine curiosity when we both reached my front door.

"Did you?" I asked back with an equal amount of curiosity.

He nodded enthusiastically. "Of course I did, why wouldn't I?"

"You really didn't have to do this---"

He put his finger against my lip, effectively shutting me up and shutting my brain off as well. "Why can't you just enjoy the things I do for you?"

Because I am slowly getting more and more delusional with every single second I spend more with you and I keep imagining of what we would be like a few months from now- am I going to be alone again or will you remain in my life---

I shook my head to rid myself of the nastiest thoughts that keep coming through my psyche, but along with those was another burst of blood rushing to my brain that makes me do the unthinkable.

"Woah, woah," Wooyoung voice out, amused that I was initiating skin contact first. 

"Just shut up and let me hug you," I voiced out, but it came out muffled because my face was currently buried in his chest. "Thank you, Wooyoung, thank you very much, you have no idea what this means to me."

Wooyoung rocked me back and forth, healing my inner child. "I think I do," he whispered so softly I almost didn't hear him. "Just let it out..."

It was the first time he ever saw me cry willingly. The hands that patted my back provided me the solace I currently needed. They were gentle, soothing even. He had always been so patient with me, and those hands... 

Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far was his.

I felt selfish, so damn selfish, for feeling this way. But it's okay, none of it matters at this moment.

Hey, ladybug. I don't think I'm able to make it in time today, or at all. Client is being finicky and all, I'm about to charge them extra for this. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you soon, hmm?

                         - J. WY

I heaved a loud, disappointed sigh as I locked my phone before pocketing it. My frown deepens and my brows knit in today's unexpected turn of events.

"That Wooyoung?"

"Yeah, says he can't make it today. Something about a shitty client," I shrugged.

I had invited Wooyoung last week to my family's dinner reunion. My whole family had taken a liking to Wooyoung - who wouldn't? - and my brother had suggested I invite him. This year, we were at our Uncle Yeonjun's place.

"It's not the end of the world," my brother teased.

I snorted loudly. "That obvious, Yeo? You look more crestfallen than I do."

Yeosang laughs heartily, taking a sip at whatever concoction our mother made. "I mean, I've only known him longer than you," he joked. 

It turned out that Woyooung was part of my brother's friend group, talk about coincidence. "Besides, you gotta cheer up before anyone notices," he added.

"Why?"

"Because you look like a lovesick puppy that got abandoned by its owner," he clicked his tongue, shaking his head. "No offense to our cousins, but they can be do damn nosy, especially Soobin and Kai."

I knew that Yeosang was just trying to distract me from whatever I was feeling. As per his advice, I faked a smile just so nobody questions why I'm feeling so down.

Wooyoung was currently out of town and had been so busy with his job so we haven't really seen each other for a couple of days now, however we do call each other every night.

My train of thoughts were squashed when Yeosang elbows me gently. "Hey," he said with a soft smile. "You want to get us food so I take you home?"

If I were to write on a piece of paper of how much my older brother has done for me, the trees would cease to exist from all the paper and wood for all the pencils.

The night wasn't all that bad, Yeosang did everything in his power to distract me and even brought our cousins into it, not that they knew what was up. We took the party to the backyard, just singing, dancing, and fooling around like the young adults we were.

The little reunion was family, music, and food. It was simple, memorable, and destined to make me forget for a little.

The night had to end, and that meant I had to go home alone to my thoughts. My parents will stay overnight and Yeosang did not live with us anymore.

The jingle of the front door's keys only solidified the loneliness that awaited for me from behind it.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay? I can just drive early in the morning," Yeosang suggested as we both walked in the house and closed the door behind him.

"Yeo, I'm not a child anymore," I chuckled. "I appreciate it, but you should go, you have work tomorrow, yes?"

"Well, yes, but---"

"Then get your ass out of here."

Yeosang rolled his eyes at my teasing tone, but ended up laughing anyway. He pulled me in for a quick hug and pecked cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

He was gone within a minute, and once again, I was left alone with my despair. And what better way to shower these thoughts out?

But that made it worse. The involuntary shower thoughts were poison to my already weak mind.

I've conquered the art of being alone, and now that I had Wooyoung with me, it never really made things easier. My endless days filled with cold fire were quickly replaced with warm companionship...

I felt like an empty box without him. It was ridiculous, really, I knew this was wrong; a mistake I knew I wasn't supposed to feel.

I missed him.

Ding, ding, ding

I had just finished dressing up when I heard the doorbell ring. Confused, I slowly treaded my way downstairs. My parents weren't supposed to be home and Yeosang would have called beforehand if he forgot something.

The doorbell rings again, more hurriedly the second time. Screw it, I thought apprehensively. Yeosang is in charge of my obituary if I unfortunately pass away tonight...

With a deep breath, I swung the door open, my eyes tightly shut. Yeah, I know, serial killers would love me.

Silence. I knew somebody was in front of me, but they weren't saying anything. My mind caught up with the stupidity of my actions and I froze. Is this how I die?

"A-Are you okay?"

That squeaky voice, that sounds so familiar. I wanted to smack my head, I missed him so much, I was hearing him.

"Nice tits, Y/N."

My eyes shot open so fast that the light came in a bit faster than I expected to and I became a little dizzy. My brain buffers while my thoughts try to catch up. After I realized what I just heard, I took a closer look in front of me.

I let out a little gasp. "W-Woo?" I whimpered pathetically.

There he was, standing at my doorway, 9 o'clock in the evening. My heart lurched at the sight of him - so ethereal.

There was nothing specific to him that made him so stunning to me, maybe it was his iconic red hair, or maybe the way he looked at me right now would be close. They were intense, yet gentle. Polite, but not noble. 

I blushed, wanting to cover up, but his eyes held me hostage. They trailed from my face, slowly down my neck, to my exposed cleavage, before bringing them back up again to look at me, the unmistakable hunger in those orbs very much present.

"Y/N," Wooyoung drawled out without breaking eye contact, sticking his tongue out to lick his bottom lip excruciatingly slow for my sanity. "Let me in."

A sudden wave of nausea hits me, rendering me weak in his mercy as I finally feel my brain melt in my head. What the hell.

His kissable lips pulled up slowly to a smirk, mischievous, and we were both released from that little cage of sin we almost trapped ourselves in. 

Woooyoung laughs out loud. "You should have seen your face," he wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.

My face reddens both in embarrassment and mild anger. Against my better judgment, I move to slam the door to his face. "You!" I hissed menacingly.

"Wait, wait!" he panicked, quickly stopping the door from completely closing by putting his boots in between. "I'm sorry! You just looked so far away, I couldn't help but tease you--"

"Not helping your case, Woo--"

"I traveled here in two hours from a place that would have taken three," he whined, grabbing my hand from the outside. "Please?"

I let out a very loud exaggerated sigh before I let go of the door. Besides, he might not look like it, but Wooyoung was built. He could have pushed the door forcefully if he really wanted to.

"Sorry," he giggled, hugging me from behind with his head resting on top of my head. "Turn around for me?"

I'm so ashamed of how weak I had become with him, but what can I say? 

I buried my head on his chest, inhaling the scent that I missed so much - warm and clean - and everything hit me all at once.

He really was here with me. I was so happy that I almost felt sick and anxious. It comes off as a raging storm in my heart that was almost painful. The unbelievable sorrow I've gone through the last few days melted away in Wooyoung's blissful embrace.

"Did you drink tonight? How'd you get home?" he inquired after we pulled away.

"I did, and Yeosang took me home."

"Oh? Is he here? I didn't see his car outside."

I explained that Yeosang had to go back to his apartment because he had to work in the morning. He nodded intently, humming to himself.

"I have a surprise for you," he smiled, lifting the duffel bag he had bought with him. "How about you nap a bit while I prepare this?"

The next thing I knew, Wooyoung was already building a makeshift bed out of the couches we had in the living room so I could lay on them real quick.

The light pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the windows were the ones that woke me up. They have been falling steadily without fail before I opened my eyes. 

I would have been content staying in the warmth of the blankets, to grab a mug of tea and feel the soothing coldness of the breeze hit my nose as I inhaled deeply.

But I had to find Wooyoung. It wouldn't be too difficult, I knew exactly where he was. He loved the rain, you see.

A tender smile creeped up on his face when he noticed me sitting beside him on one of the stools on our roofed backyard. "You're awake," was all he said.

"How long was I out?" I groggily asked, swallowing the aspirin tablets he handed out. "Thanks."

"Not too long," he handed me a tall glass of water. "Close to an hour and a half, maybe."

"You were working while I was napping?" I gestured to the setup he had in front of us. Various strips of undeveloped films were strewn all over along with a camera I did not recognize, and...a glass pyramid?

"Nice paperweight," I pointed at it, a little hurt that even though he came for me, his focus was still on his work.

Wooyoung chuckled lightly. "No work, not necessarily," he shook his head. "That's not a paperweight. Why don't you be a doll and pick it up for me?"

I could feel the tips of my ears warm up but I picked up the pyramid anyway. It was a lot lighter than I initially thought it would be.

I looked at Wooyoung in confusion when he suddenly pointed out to the moon. "See the small beam of light coming down?" 

I nodded. Indeed, the moon seemed brighter today. It looked more beautiful than the stars that surrounded it. "That," he gestured to the triangular glass I was holding. "That is a prism, and I want you to put it where the moonlight is."

I frowned. "What?"

"If you're worried about the rain, you don't have to put it directly under it, just a small light would do," he bargained, chuckling at my confused face.

I did what he said, apprehensively stretching my hand out to put the so-called prism under the moonlight. I smiled a bit, I will admit, the combination of the rain and light hitting its surface made it look extremely breathtaking.

I tilted it slightly to catch the different angles since I realized each angle made it glow in different shades of lights. One flick of my wrist shone a colourful beam of light that landed on the ground. 

"Wow," I breathed out. "That's beautiful, Wooyoung."

He smiled back. "Keep tilting."

Suddenly, an arc formed from the prism to the ground beneath me. I was in awe, this one had different colours to it. From red to yellow to purple, it shone clearly against the rain. I giggled, it reminded me of rainbows. If only it was daytime...

I gasped, dropping the prism on the ground with a loud clunk. My face was drained of blood as I turned sharply to Wooyoung with wide eyes. But he wasn't worried about my pale state. His smile shone brighter than any prism out there. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to take a photo of his charming smile.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" he grinned, picking up the prism and tilting it himself against the rain and the light.

I've always wanted to see a rainbow at nighttime, and no, the Aurora Borealis doesn't count."

"Interesting," he whispered. "Keep going."

"You remembered, oh my God, you remembered..." I sniffled, burying my face in my hands.

"Why wouldn't I?" he smiled, pulling me in for a hug.

Wooyoung kissed my forehead delicately with great care and the look he gave me was something I will never forget.

We spent the next hour or so playing with different shapes of prisms that Wooyoung bought from where he went. The client he had earlier owned a glass manufacturing company and Wooyoung requested for these to be made as a form of payment.

This rainy day soaked all the memories we had made for both of us, providing us the soundtrack we deserved, and it was unlike any other. I laughed like I never laughed before at this crazy little daydream, wishing it would last forever.

And soon, I learned to love the rain like Wooyoung. There will never be a rainy day where I never not think of him ever again.

"You better make me look good or I won't give you pictures," he threatened playfully.

When the rain had stopped, we opted to take pictures as proof of this core memory. The unfamiliar camera I saw earlier turned out to be a self-developing one, the modern cameras that instantly printed out tiny polaroid pictures in less than fifteen seconds.

"You literally took the shittiest photos of me, you hypocrite," I rolled my eyes at him, trying my best to cover my eyes with the camera so he wouldn't see the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes.

"They're mine to keep," Wooyoung stuck his tongue out at me. What a brat.

But he was my brat. The tears that were once the symbol of the everlasting happiness that Wooyoung had been willingly giving me, were now drowning me in the bottomless sorrow that embraced me in a sea of ice cold water.

I loved him.

If I ever cross my heart, if I ever lie or deny the heart that beated for him, then I'd hope to die.

I loved him when we both stared at that park's wisteria, I loved him when he laid in my arms until he fell asleep, I loved him when he told me he'd always be there for me, I loved him then, and I love him now.

"Do you want me to put the movie on?" I asked after we've both settled down, shivering a bit. I never realized how cold it was outside until both me and Wooyoung came back inside.

Wooyoung mumbled a soft hum of affirmation while he was busy in the kitchen reheating some food I had bought with Yeosang earlier. He wasn't even doing anything groundbreaking but he was still so devastatingly loveable in my eyes.

The movie was boring, or rather, my attention just wasn't geared towards it. All I could focus on was the intense, burning passion I had for my best friend. I shut my eyes closely, as if doing so will get rid of the plaguing thoughts.

I let out a small gasp when Wooyoung pulled me to him, his arms wrapped around my waist. "What's going on in that pretty little head?" he sluggishly asked, nudging his head in the crook of my neck.

I am about to explode. He has always been the cuddly kind, but now that I have finally admitted to myself how much I truly loved him, his touch burned me on the inside, electrifying every cell in my body in response to his tender touch. 

"Nothing," I shrugged nonchalantly.

He chuckled, gripping my jaw lightly and turning my head towards his. I stopped breathing when I realized that he was closer than I thought. If I lean even an centimeter more, our lips would touch.

Wooyoung searches my face intently. "Don't lie to me."

I stare at him in the eye, not really knowing what to say. His hand was still on my jaw, but that was the last of my worries right now. I really want to tell him, I want to shout how much I loved him; how much he made me feel like I was everything when in reality I was nothing.

My mouth opens to say something, but immediately closes. In a moment of realization, Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit before his hand dropped from my jaw. There was a storm brewing in those beautiful eyes, and at this moment, I knew I was about to lose him.

"W-Wooyoung," I blurted out, full on panicking at this point.

"Don't look at me like that," he whispered, his voice breaking in the middle.

"What do you mean?" I sniffled, wanting to reach out and touch him, but stopped myself.

"You know what I mean."

A bitter sensation rose like bile up my throat. My heart isn't just broken, it was now a shadow of what it once was that was slowly fading away little by little.

He knows. Him knowing me like the back of his hand was a curse to a blessing, and not that blessing was a curse. He knows that I am in love with him, the last thing I ever wanted him to know.

"Let's finish the movie," I giggled, though it probably sounded fake.

I frowned when Wooyoung shut the TV off as a whole. "Y/N," he sounded stern. I stayed silent, not even looking him in the eye. 

He sighed deeply. "I can give you anything, but not that," he stated, his arms still around my waist tightening a bit. "You're my best friend, I cannot lose you. Not like this."

My fear of loss was proof of my love for him. I loved him so much, I was willing to let him go.

I rolled my eyes playfully, forcing myself to look at him and grin widely, even though my tongue burned. "What are you saying? We'll be friends until the end of time," I laughed, lightheartedly elbowing him.

There was a passing look of hurt in his features, but it left as soon as it came. "Are you sure you're fine with this?" he squinted his eyes suspiciously at me.

"Of course," I snorted. "Maybe I'm just confused, but you know me Youngie, I'm tough."

He was still suspicious, but he laughed along with me anyway. "I know you are," he chortled, pinching my cheek really, really hard.

"Ow! You imp!" I grab his cheek to pinch it back just as hard, playing along with him.

We decided not to finish the movie and just rest for the night. As I lay back down on the makeshift bed Wooyoung made for me earlier, with him cuddling me from behind and pretty much spooning me, I let it all out.

Silent tears flowed down from my eyes and I had to put my knuckles in my mouth to prevent myself from making any sound. I can feel Woyooung's chest rising up and down against my back and that's how I knew he was sleeping, but I didn't want to risk waking him up.

My heart hurt so much, because I knew my love will never be reciprocated. Wooyoung loved his dreams too much to choose us, I knew that. I tried so damn hard to stop my growing feelings but to no avail. The voice that came out from me so naturally to tell him that I was fine, that what I felt for him was just a silly little crush, sounded so far away; it didn't even sound like me.

The attraction between us became an intangible broken thread and there was no way to reattach the fragments, though I know that I was the only one scattered and lost.

I knew we weren't going to last forever, but I wasn't expecting the beginning of the end to happen so soon.

A knock from my left snaps me out of my thoughts. It was Mingi tapping on my desk, his brow raised.

"Sorry," I sheepishly mumbled, trying to focus on the task at hand. Hongjoong already left for New York so it was just me and Mingi in the shop.

I couldn't concentrate, I kept glancing at my phone hoping Wooyoung would reply to my messages. Something was wrong, and I was very close to having a mental breakdown.

Woo? Are you busy? Wanna hang out at the new place later after work?

I kept telling myself that it was fine, he's busy, he's been in-demand lately because he truly was a talented photographer with a particular set of skills that were a rarity in such a condensed industry, but I couldn't help but feel like he's been very distant lately.

Wooyoung has been avoiding me and I don't know what to do.

To keep my insecurities in check, I've been going in the deepest pits of my mind to tolerate my thoughts and letting these negative feelings pass - so I can react appropriately and not go crazy over the things I had no control over.

Wooyoung? Is everything okay? You aren't responding...

Truth be told, I felt pathetic. I got so attached to Wooyoung that I forgot how I was before I met him - alone. It wasn't his fault, he doesn't owe me anything, it was me who let my heart chase a person who never even wanted to be found in the first place.

Another knock made me jump from my thoughts.

"Y/N," Mingi sighed, taking his glasses off and setting them down on his own desk. "Can I talk to you really quick?"

I bit my lip, nodding. Mingi had always been the type of boss that drew a line with everyone, except Hongjoong. He was strict, very intimidating, but it suited him, so I'm a bit nervous that he was calling me out. 

"I'll be straight with you, yeah? Is it Wooyoung?" he asked out of genuine curiosity, his sharp eyes piercing through me.

I didn't respond, I couldn't, so I kept my head low. I heard Mingi sigh again. "Hey," he says softly. "This is off the record, okay? I won't tell Hongjoong, although I suspect he already knows anyway."

I looked up, frowning. "What do you mean?" 

Mingi crossed his arms, leaning back against his chair a bit more relaxed. "I can't speak for him, but for me personally? I know Wooyoung more than you think I do. You just haven't seen us together because I've been so busy lately."

He was right. Mingi continued. "Look, it's a shame to see you like this. We really like you, you're hardworking, critical, smart, and whatnot..."

"T-Thank you, Mr. Song," I blurted out.

"Just Mingi," he brushed off. "What I'm trying to say is, save yourself for a man that isn't him. He won't choose you."

I already knew that, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less. Tears started to pool in the corners of my eyes. Mingi curses under his breath.

"Go home," he gestured out the door. "Take the day off."

"B-But we still have work left," I stuttered.

He gives me a small smile. "I'll manage. Go before I change my mind."

I suppose I was thankful about being sent home, it did help my nerves a bit. I've gotten home, showered, ate dinner, and did the most mundane things I could ever do, but Wooyoung never replied.

I woke up the next day, clutching my phone, muttering a little prayer in my head as if I would miraculously see his name pop up in my notifications, telling me good morning like he used to every single day.

The tears I've been holding off since yesterday ran down like waterfalls from my eyes. I missed him so much, and I've got nobody to blame but myself. I wished I kept it in, how much I loved him I mean. Maybe we would have been hanging out by now, laughing obnoxiously at nothing in particular.

Before I could stop myself, I dialed Wooyoung's number. The beating of my heart pounded along with the ringing tone against my ear. I was about to hang up, when I heard the familiar click of answer.

Hello?

I covered my mouth with my hand to prevent me from choking up. Oh, how I missed this voice.

"H-Hey, Woo, how are you doing?" I apprehensively asked.

I can't really talk right now, little dove, what do you want?

I was confused, my frown getting deeper. There was tension on the line, a tension so brittle it could snap in a moment, and if it doesn't, I might. He sounds like his normal self, but he sounds so rigid, his voice clipped.

"Nothing, I-I just wanted to hear your voice," I was so anxious at this point, especially when Wooyoung didn't say anything back for a moment.

I can feel the fear spreading throughout my chest. I let out a slow, controlled breath and attempted to loosen my body.

What? You called me for that? I have my own things to do, Y/N, you can't just call me for something so stupid.

I felt my heart bleed, twisting, turning, and rendering my insides tight. I don't respond, wide eyed, my heart in my throat. I needed him to tell me everything was going to be alright, to soothe me but instead he continued.

I'll call you when I have time, okay?

"B-But you said I can call you whenever I needed you," I whispered in the smallest voice I could muster.

I know what I said.

The tone of his voice, so cold and so upset, brought shivers down my spine. "I'm sorry," I whimpered. "I'm so lonely, I miss you. C-Can you come for a bit? O-Or I'll come if you cannot..."

I'll see.

And then he hung up, not bothering to wait for my response. Hot tears, ones he will never witness, were falling even faster than before and soaking my pillows. I felt the wetness of my skin and each drop killed my soul little by little.

What is happening? That wasn't the man I know, that wasn't the Wooyoung I have come to love over the past year.

Sharp knives dig into my heart even deeper, bringing more pain, making me cry out in the most desperate of as it keeps slicing over and over again. I was so lost at the torment my mind was putting me through.

When I was at my lowest, when others took what I could not afford to give, Wooyoung saved my life. The voice that once kept me alive was now the one that was slowly sucking every little bit of hope in my soul.

The first day was fine, I was able to rationalize with myself and not think of Wooyoung every second of the day.

The first week was a bit difficult, but I was still able to manage and get by day by day even though I can feel myself slowly slipping away.

The first month, I couldn't take it anymore. My parents noticed that I wasn't being myself lately, but they chose not to comment anything out of respect, but when I completely stopped eating and going out was when they began to worry significantly.

I understand that my best friend might never be able to give back all the love I have from him, but there is something much, much worse than hate or ignorance.

It was indifference. The night I had unintentionally confessed to him was the night everything between us started to blur.. He was cold, I wasn't expecting him to love me back, but abandoning me and acting like I don't exist or matter at all was turning all my loneliness into desperation.

Screw it. If he's not going to see me, then I'll go see him.

It wasn't too difficult to borrow the family car with the pretense of going out to enjoy myself. They didn't know Wooyoung was the source of my melancholy. I haven't had the heart to tell them because they really liked him.

"Woo?" I knocked on his apartment door, the door that used to excite me, now terrified me.

No response. I knew for a fact that he was inside and was ignoring the hell out of me because his lights were on - he always turned them off whenever he was going somewhere all the time. I was getting extremely annoyed at this point, and my anger had nowhere to dissipate.

"Jung Wooyoung, I know you're in there," I knocked frantically. "Open the freaking door."

When I still got no reply, I had no choice but to get the spare key he hid under his doormat. I could've done it earlier, I wasn't in the mood to be disrespected right now.

The moment I swung his door open, I saw him. He was just there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed, staring me directly in the eye. I stood by his doorway, frozen, staring back at him. 

"Woo--"

"Close the damn door and sit down," he sighed exasperatedly. The cold indifference in his eyes was killing me.

The atmosphere was completely tense, I didn't even know where to start. I used to love being in his apartment, but now I was itching to get out.

Then I saw it - the same duffle bag he bought the glass prism to give me a lunar rainbow now filled with all of his clothes.

"What the hell is this?" I gritted, not being able to hold back the anger I was feeling at the moment.

"What does it look like?" he glared, his jaw taut and clenched tight.

"Is this why you weren't talking to me?" I asked, my voice full of hurt. "How can you do this, Wooyoung? How could you do this to us?"

He scoffed. "There is no us, my princess," he mocked. It stung, I didn't know this Wooyoung, or was this his true nature all along?

"Then why am I still your princess, then?"

There was a second where his eyes morphed back into the man I loved, but before it even lasted, it went to this hostile stranger than got off on the hurt he was giving me. He avoided eye contact, opting to look down and stare at the floor tiles. 

"Say something," I begged.

"I heard you," he snapped, as if I meant absolutely nothing to him. 

Clearly, he wasn't expecting me to even confront him at all, and intended to push me far, far away as long as he possibly could.

That refusal to smile, to show me any warmth was his way of being antagonistic towards me.

His eyes stopped at mine, and the moment it laid on me, I knew that there was nothing left for me to salvage. This is really the end.

Tears flowed nonstop from my eyes and before I knew it, I was in front of him, aggressively hitting his chest using my fist with all my might, hoping he could feel all the pain he gave me.

"Stop it, Y/N," he hissed, trying to avoid my hits. But I didn't. All the anger and sadness were so intertwined that I didn't know which one prevailed.

"I said stop it!", he shouted. He grabbed my wrists painfully and held them against his chest. "You better stop, or so God help me, I will make you stop, and trust me, you do not want that."

Something akin to fear crept into my chest. I have never, ever heard him raise his voice before.

"Had I known that you were going to be the bane of my existence, I would have ignored you at the park back then!" I screeched at him, trying very hard to get my hands back by thrashing around.

"Had I known you were going to be like this, I wouldn't have taken a photo of you!" Wooyoung's grip got so tight that I literally felt no blood circulating towards my hand.

"You good for nothing ass, you're hurting me! Let me go!" I growled, but it came out as a whine.

"Not until you calm down!"

We went back and forth like that, arguing like little children. The fight between us was a destruction in the making, tearing us instead of bounding us together.

I swallowed the anger that threatened to spill out of me, and it grew in my chest as the person I loved did absolutely nothing to wipe the tears from my eyes. At least he was a bit surprised when I screamed a scream from deep within, and it terrified the both of us because it didn't even sound like me.

"How am I supposed to look at anyone else?" I cried, my head leaning on his chest out of exhaustion. "I don't want anyone else anymore because I will be afraid to trust."

"I'm sorry," was all he said. He didn't even want to wrap his arms around me and just let me hang in there.

"No, you're not," I cried even harder. 

"Y/N, please, you're making this difficult for me," his voice breaks in the middle. I feel the intensity in his voice, a massive amount of emotion behind every word he spoke.

"And how do you think I feel, Wooyoung?"

"I understand, but--"

"This is how you are, full of excuses, full of shit!"

"Let me talk--"

"Why are you leaving me? Why are you--"

"Because I love you!"

I must've looked so shocked, so devastated, and so scared that Wooyoung, himself, started breaking down. We held each other as if it was our last, and at that moment, it was just the two of us against everything in this world.

Wooyoung held my face with his shaking hands, tears flowing down from his own eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine. That somehow made me cry harder. "I love you so much, goddamn it," he choked.

"But you're not going to stay," I whimpered against his criminal hold. 

Though he felt so warm right now, I knew it wasn't going to last. I could get lost in his eyes right now because they felt like home as we both cried in each other's arms. After all the countless nights I wished he felt the same, this felt foreign. 

He was an oasis in a barren desert and the best thing I could do was stare.

"You appearing in my life was never planned," he whispered. "I never expected to fall as deeply as I did with you, Y/N."

"If you feel the same, then why can't you stay with me?" I asked pitifully.

"I can't, baby, this wasn't supposed to happen," he took a deep breath. "I can't love you."

"You can't, or you won't?"

He didn't respond. That got him. I sighed.

"Woo, look at me?" I tilted his chin up very gently until he did. "Don't do this to us," I pleaded. "You're looking at me with clouded eyes right now, you know I see through your lies..."

Wooyoung doesn't reply, choosing to walk away from me to pace across the room in a fret. I watched him collect his mind apprehensively.

"If I can't have me, then no one can," he finally said.

I stared at him as my heart started slowly breaking once again. This incomprehensible pain was consuming me bit by bit, my heart was bleeding.

"I would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't chase the longest dream I've ever had," his eyes were laced in pain. "The photography world is waiting for me..."

"Is this why you didn't want anything or anyone tying you down to this place, Woo? You didn't want to commit because you might never want to leave?"

That was it. The way he looked at me told me everything I needed to know. I had lost him before I even had him, and I can only weep and let myself come to terms with the one that got away. So I cried, I cried as Wooyoung held me in his arms, rocking me back and forth like he used to when we spent time together.

"Hush now," he started crying with me. "I hate that it seems you were never enough." He hugged me tighter. "Because you are, you were more than enough."

"But I'm the one that should mean something! So help me understand," I sobbed harder in his arms, afraid to let him go because he might disappear if I do.

He wipes my tears away with his thumbs. "If one day we see each other again," he croaked. "However long that will take, we will try again for each other, okay?"

I shook my head like a crazed maniac, muttering no, no, no repeatedly. "Wooyoung," I wailed, holding onto his arms tightly. "P-Please don't leave me..."

I begged him over and over again like my life depended on it, and to be fair, I felt like I was going to die if he left me entirely. At this point I didn't care if I was going to be his second choice as long as he stayed.

"Y/N, please don't make this harder than it is," Wooyoung denied. "Go home, please I'm begging you. You're going to make me do something we'll both regret, please."

He was about to leave, but I held him back from behind, holding onto him as tight as I possibly could. "Stop it," he pleaded, trying to pry my arms off of him, but I held tighter, wailing harder.

"P-Please, please don't go," I bawled. "I'll do anything, I'll--"

"Stop it!"

His booming voice made me gasp, or maybe that was the sudden hold he had on my shoulders. The way his eyes darkened wasn't something I missed as his nails dug into my shoulders.

"Do not say that," he hissed, his dark eyes boring into me. "We are both in my room, alone. You know what that means, right?"

"So take me, Wooyoung."

Something changed in the air, and between the two of us right at this moment. Wooyoung's eyes widened a bit, his hold on my shoulders tightening , before he grimaced. "You don't know what you're saying," he laughed dryly.

I knew it was wrong, but right now I wanted nothing but to feel all of him. I will throw all the dignity I have right now, I don't care. The moment I begged him to stay, I'd lost it all, anyway.

"The notion of sin has never sat too well with me," Wooyoung gulped, his voice thick with lust.

"And leaving me does?" I blurted, my own eyes hazy with want.

Wooyoung shook his head fervently and sweat was beginning to form at his hairline. "Y/N, I am only a man, please don't make me do it..."

He buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breathing was so laboured and every time he took a breath, I felt everything on my skin. I mewled when I felt him pause, then lick the most sensitive part of my neck.

"Fuck, you smell and taste so good," Wooyoung growled.

Everything happened so fast. In a split second, his touch electrified every nerve in my body, the intoxication was instantaneous. He hurriedly grabbed my face and immediately put his lips on mine, like I was his air and he needed me to live.

His arms wrap around my back, and in one motion, our bodies collide. His hand was pulling and tugging my hair, muttering how soft they were in between kisses. I kiss him back with equal fervent, quickly opening my mouth so his tongue can explore. Our bodies fit together like we were made to do this.

He pulls away and we lock eyes for a moment, just enough to see that we were far too gone to stop, before we were back at it again, this time on his bed. The kiss we shared was of raw intensity, the groans he made behind his throat made every hair on my body stand up in attention.

"Baby," he groaned, his voice muffled because he was back to attacking my neck. 

"Hmm?" was I could reply with, especially with how rough he was kneading my breasts from under my shirt. 

"You held your breath for a minute straight while my tongue was in your throat."

I blushed deep. We were almost about to have sex and he still remembered that? I never thought his mouth would be this dirty.

We caressed each other's skin through the night, not getting enough of each other as we became one. His touches were exhilarating, whenever he laid his fingers on my skin tingles. Both of us move in sync, not taking our eyes off of each other.

There were no thoughts, and no focus - only lust and desire.

My back arches in anticipation from his light hands as he watches my reaction, feeling how my hands shook, watching my body tremble every time he used his fingers.

Whatever Wooyoung was doing, there was no stopping. Just his scent from above me was enough to incapacitate me. Every thrust he did was enough for me to fall deeper, and deeper for him and he never stopped until we were warm and snuggled after we were finished.

But nothing lasts forever - even guilty pleasures. 

"Wooyoung?" I asked nobody in particular the moment I woke up, my voice sore from all the screaming the night prior.

I sat up, covering my body with the blanket that smelled so much like him, looking around to see if he was somewhere since he wasn't lying down beside me on his own bed, but no. 

I didn't think much of it, maybe he just went to the bathroom to freshen up, but deep down my heart, I knew he had left.

There was something on the spot where Wooyoung was supposed to be - a piece of paper. I hesitantly picked up, realized it was a letter addressed to me, and opened its contents. Little dots of wetness dropped down the paper from every tear as I read on.

'To the one I'm letting go,

I'm sorry, Y/N. I am so, so sorry for everything I will put you through starting now. By the time you're reading this, I would have been long gone.

You will always be the most important person of my life, whether you believe it or not. You have absolutely no idea how wonderful and colourful you have made my life into for the past year and I always smile knowing that you'd be there to share my achievements with.

I knew I would develop feelings for you the moment I saw you in that park. God, you looked so beautiful. The fates were funny like that, because I wasn't even supposed to be at the park that day. My usual spot was unavailable that day.

Please be happy, do not forget your meals, study well so you can go into that college you've always wanted to, don't eat too many sweets because they make you hyper, be mindful of nuts in every food since you are allergic to them since I can't be there to check them for you anymore.

The gift of friendship as great as yours is something I will forever cherish in my heart, Y/N. Our little moments where we laughed and cried together still makes me happy to this day. You may have come into my life unexpectedly for what felt like a minute, but the mark you left will last us forever.

You're going to have to move on for me, and I will do the same, even if it hurts both of us, okay? I have to leave, it's either you or my dreams, and I know you have dreams of your own. This love will always hold us back.

However, if I see you again one day, I cannot guarantee that I will hold back because I am going to take you whether you like it or not and make you mine.

But for now? I cannot hate you, but I cannot love you either.

Yours, J. WY'

I hyperventilated, my hands shaking violently as I held the letter that might as well have been my death certificate.

I knew one way or another, this was going to happen and I was prepared for it so I wouldn't get hurt in the near future, but it hasn't fully hit me until now. 

Long ago, I had forgotten how to scream because they were either ignored or criticized with cruelty, but the way I screamed my soul out broke my own heart. My grief came in waves, ebbing gradually at the ocean that needed to bleed from my eyes.

"Oh, Wooyoung," I cried his name out pitifully, holding the letter close to my heart. I knew I loved him, but the loss of him really solidified how strong it was. How was I supposed to survive the feeling of something so dear that got forcefully ripped away from me?

I must've wallowed in my despair and self-pity a little too much, that I forgot that there were clutters and footsteps outside of the room. They were the reason I woke up. Could it be..?

I half heartedly rubbed my tear-stained face with my hands to make the swelling go away before I dressed up decent enough to step out.

The footsteps stopped when I apprehensively opened the door, the creak of it echoing across the otherwise barren room. 

My eyes widened and landed on two men who were both staring at me also wide-eyed the moment I opened my door, as if they were listening in on me suffering.

"Who the hell are you?!" I had meant for that to be threatening, but it came out as a pathetic squeak.

They both stepped back, surprised at the spunk I had even though it was clearly very early in the morning.

"We mean no harm, we promise," one of them said calmly. He reminded me of a bear, and the relaxed fit of his jeans that tucked his black tee made his form even bigger. "I'm Jongho, your brother and the two workaholics sent me..."

I raised my brow, he must be Hongjoong's assistant, the other workaholic was Mingi. Yeosang did also mention a best friend in passing. I raised a brow on the other one expecting him to talk.

He was tall, definitely taller than Mingi, and they kind of looked like each other, though this one reminded me of an overgrown puppy. He was very good-looking as well. He was lean, though there's definitely some bulk on him too.

He waves a set of keys in front of him. "I'm Yunho, San gave me the keys," he worriedly explained. "I was hoping you could explain. I made breakfast..."

The food was very good, but I didn't have the heart to tell Yunho that Wooyoung's cooking was the one I craved for. I gave them the letter Wooyoung had written for me as I filled them in on some details about what happened. They were Wooyoung's really close friends, so I didn't have to fill in too much details since they pretty much knew the majority of it.

"He never told you it was love at first sight," Yunho shook his head as he passed the letter for Jongho to read. "That bastard, I told him to stay away from you if he was just going to leave."

"We tried very hard to change his mind, believe me," Jongho sighed, taking a sip of the coffee I made him earlier. Both of his eyes shot up as he stared at me. "Though I suppose this is one of the reasons why he couldn't stay away."

That one struck a nerve. Wooyoung was the one who taught me how to make good coffee. 

Yunho cleared his throat. "San doesn't know Wooyoung has left yet. If he found out, he would beat the shit out of him. San liked you a lot, he convinced Wooyoung the most to stay."

"And Hongjoong?"

"Hongjoong is, well, he is who he is. He just knows everything. He probably told Yeosang because he didn't have the heart to tell you." 

Yunho's phone started ringing, it gave me a slight migraine because that thing was loud as hell. Yunho mutters a sheepish apology. "Hello?"

"Alright, which one of you soul-sucking bastards stole my keys?! What the hell is even happening?!"

That actually made me giggle. Now I know why these two were sent to check up on me - Yunho was very easy to get along with and Jongho was the rational one to balance things.

"Who is that?"

Yunho and Jongho took turns to fill San in on everything that went down, and I felt bad for him because that also meant that San lost a friend. His heartbroken questions were making tears in my eyes.

"Sannie," Jongho sighed. "This is why we took the keys, we didn't want you to find out this way."

"Where is he, then?" San's voice was tight.

"You don't know either?" Yunho asked in surprise.

"N-No, Y/N? Is she okay?"

That completely broke me. It was ironic that Wooyoung's friends, people I wasn't even that familiar with in the first place, were the ones more concerned about me. I bitterly let my tears out, with Jongho patting my back to comfort me.

I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried until I felt my voice grow weary with excessive use, not caring that these two strangers and a man on the phone heard me break down pitifully.

Forget about me, Wooyoung had also left the people who loved him as well - his friends. In that regard, he was extremely selfish because he knew that hurt he would give to everyone, but he chose to do what he did anyway.

And just like that, he was gone.

I lost track of time, I don't even remember the last time I actually cared to check.

Depression is a silly thing, something that I used to think never ended, but it does actually; you're going to feel it when you hit rock bottom.

"Have a good day everyone," I waved from the doorway of Mingi's office.

The whole gang was here, except for my brother because he lived far away. Still, Yeosang has made it his life's mission to be there for me whenever I gave him a hint that I needed him the most. I felt bad, but I had nobody to turn to.

"Y/N, wait."

I was about to leave, to ignore that call, but I couldn't. Yes?"

Hongjoong stared at me for a full minute without saying anything, before sighing. "Take care of yourself."

I forced a smile on my face. I was happy that everyone was looking out for me even though I just can't outwardly express it. I actually appreciate that none of them were treating me like a wounded puppy.

Hongjoong might not look like he cared too much, but I notice his sharp eyes watching me when he thinks I wasn't looking. Wooyoung was the opposite.

Yunho was very sweet, he would often bake me pastries since I mentioned in passing that I loved them and they brought me joy. Wooyoung used to do that a lot.

Mingi was another nonchalant one. He would often offer me a vacation alone somewhere with all expenses paid. I denied. Being alone will make me think of Wooyoung more.

San was the one that accompanied me the most when I didn't want to move at all. He would bring me food at least four times a week to make sure I was eating. Wooyoung used to feed me, himself, if I wasn't in the mood.

Jongho, being the mature one, made me realize that there were more reasons to live this life. Perhaps it was my parents, maybe my pet dog, or maybe just to find out what happens tomorrow. Wooyoung had a very similar outlook in life. 

I was aimlessly walking around and I didn't even notice that I ended up on the bench I sat on, the same bench that had that beautiful wisteria tree. Only this time, there was no Wooyoung to take a candid photo of me.

"I guess I'm not the only one falling apart," I sighed, lightly touching the wilting petals of the once purple tree, now it was just a faded whitish lilac colour.

It was difficult to find happiness in the things that I used to like. I missed the way he hugged me, the sound of his voice, the tenderness in his actions. I missed the way he would whisper the corniest jokes against my ear and make me laugh, but most of all, I missed the way we used to be.

He was my first thought of the day, the light at the end of my tunnel. How must I separate these fantasies from reality? Would things be different if I didn't confess? Would he still be here?

The reality was that he has not had these fantasies, we did not build our dream together, so I have to let it go.

Even though he had left after the momentarily love we shared for one night, I can tell myself that at least I knew that he genuinely loved me at one point. My mind will be at peace because I wouldn't have to go manic wondering for the rest of my life if it was only me - I know now that we did truly mean something to each other. 

We're so distracted by how things end, we usually forget how beautiful the beginning was. 

It was a quote I heard somewhere. My love was a myth, but Wooyoung never believed in myths, and so that was both the start and end of our story. Some things are only real if you believe that they are. 

A lone tear slipped away as I remembered how beautiful the wisteria was when we had first met. His absence will be the best part of me, I decided, so hopefully for the last time after a while, I weep again. 

I will wait for him, no matter how long it took.

3.5 YEARS LATER

I sat in front of the vanity table in my hotel room, staring at myself from the big mirror wearing my white satin robe, it made my complexion pop into a champagne rose hue. 

I made eye contact with the person looming behind me through the mirror. "Would you like me to tell them to adjust the makeup and your hair?" he asked me tenderly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I figured you'd love a natural look so I made it happen."

"No, it's perfect, you always know what's best for me," I smiled widely, putting my hand on top of his gently. It was the truth, it managed to bring out me feminine side, and therefore, my self-confidence as well.

I was the happiest I've ever been today, especially because I was finally with the love of my life. He frowned a bit when I pulled him a bit closer to fix his slightly rumpled collar and hair.

"I like the blonde, my love," I ran my hand on it in a trickling motion so I wouldn't mess it up.

He smirks, grabbing my hand to kiss it. "Yeah? That's good, I was feeling tired of the red, plus I don't think it would be appropriate for today."

I chuckled a bit. I have always loved his style, it was so masculine but also so chic and sophisticated at the same time. He was already wearing the suit and tie I had chosen for him today.

I will miss the red hair though, I still remember feeling uneasy when I saw his red hair for the first time, but I have come to love it over time. This blonde was making me feel some type of way.

I took a glance at my wedding dress that was placed at the far corner of the room. The lace upon lace design was very cozy and snug against my curves and it made me feel like the most beautiful bride in the entire world.

"So what's the schedule, darling? Your photography session here alone or with your bridesmaids for now?" he glanced at his wristwatch.

"Alone for now," I hummed. "I want Joongie, Sannie, and Yeo in here right now. You should go check with Yuyu and Mangi if you need alterations, and oh, check with Jongbear if he's all set with the wedding songs later?"

Over the years, I have gotten so close with the gang and they've all become my bestest of friends. The journey wasn't easy, but at least I've gained seven other lifetime friends.

He chuckled, clicking his tongue in amusement. "Alright, but calm down," he plants a quick kiss on my lips. "As much as I love when you're in your thinking mode, I want you to relax for today."

"I can't help it, Seonghwa, I've never done this before," I pouted.

Seonghwa squeezed my hand lovingly. "I know, me neither, but I'll be with you through everything, okay? And don't worry about those three knuckleheads, they're on their way."

"I love you, Hwa."

"I love you more, darling."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and indeed, the three people I was expecting made their merry way towards me and Seonghwa. 

"Well, well, well," Yeosang strutted towards me. "If it isn't my favourite sister."

"I'm your only sister," I rolled my eyes, making everybody laugh. 

"Oh, Y/N, oh my goodness," Yeosang hugged me tightly. "Goddamn it, I shouldn't have gone here, you're going to make me cry."

"Shut up, Yeo, you're going to make me cry too," I choked, holding my tears back so I don't ruin my makeup. "I could barely hold myself when I saw Mom and Dad bawl their eyes out earlier."

It was like we were back in our childhood again where we supported each other whenever we got an achievement. We don't see each other much but our closeness never got less.

"I'm proud of you, you deserve this happiness," Yeosang smiled. "I'll see you out there, my back is hurting from Seonghwa glaring at my back for taking your time."

"I was not!"

"Some brother-in-law you are, Park Seonghwa!" Yeosang retorted.

We all laughed again, there's nothing better than having friends to celebrate your day with you. Yeosang left shortly and now I was with San and Hongjoong to check up on some things.

"The guests are coming in gradually," San lowered his glasses while he tapped away on his tablet. San was the one who arranged the beautiful venue of the outdoor garden where me and Seonghwa will marry as well as the food and invitations. 

San moved away from photography a couple of years ago and started a business on coordinating events. "I reckon they'll all be here within two hours," he continued, but paused hesitantly. "There might be one seat vacant, I'm not sure he'll come..."

The air was a bit tense. I knew who he was talking about. "It's okay, Sannie, we have back up photographers in case he doesn't want to do it..."

Hongjoong cleared his throat loudly. "Congratulations," he grinned from the other side of the room.

"Thanks, Joongie, you're the best," I grinned back, thanking him for more than what I was referring to.

Hongjoong was the one who designed my wedding dress from scratch, and Mingi designed Seonghwa's. It was their first wedding haute couture and definitely not their last.

"Any adjustments you want me to make? I would ask you to try it on, but that's bad luck. " he joked. I shook my head no. "Alright. But I'm sure you'll look good. We're very happy for you, Y/N, we really are."

It felt great to hear it in general, especially on my wedding day, but it meant a lot coming from Hongjoong. All of them were brothers to me, but he was the eldest one.

"Seonghwa, if you think of hurting her," San cracked his knuckles. "You know what will happen."

"Yeah, yeah, sure San, you're scared shitless of killing bugs, let alone beat me up," Seonghwa rolled his eyes, making us all laugh our heads off because it was so true.

Mingi, Yunho, and Jongho also popped in after a while to say their congratulations. Yunho was in charge of hosting the reception, which came naturally for him since he has such an engaging personality.

"I'm so nervous, what if I stutter?" Yunho groaned. "Though I'm sure Jongho here is more nervous."

"A little," Jongho admitted. We were all surprised, he usually does very well on literally everything.

"Jjong, you're literally the best singer I've ever heard," I cheered him on.

"It's not that, this is different. This is your wedding we're talking about."

"That's true and all," Mingi chided in. "But I'm pretty sure Seonghwa is the most nervous out of everybody. Y/N, you gotta tell his ass to calm down, I couldn't even properly adjust his suit, for God's sake!"

We all turned our heads when the sound of another knock resounded through the room. We all looked at each other in confusion, Yeosang was the only one not in here and he would never knock before entering.

Yunho took the initiative to open the door, although apprehensively. He opened the door in an angle where we couldn't see who was outside, but he did, and when he did, he gasped loudly.

"What the fuck!" he shut the door loudly and leaned against it, pale white.

The room was silent, Yunho wasn't the type to curse in general. We all looked at him with very wide eyes and he stared back with his mouth agape.

"Yun, what the hell was that?" Mingi broke the silence, as calm as the ocean.

"I-I, uhm, I-I don't th-think," he stuttered.

"Oh, what the hell," Jongho rolled his eyes, walking towards Yunho and pushing him out rather roughly so he could open the door himself.

Jongho muttered a curse under his breath, before closing the door a bit gently this time, but he also had the same shocked expression on his face. This time I was freaking out, wedding jitters and all.

"Yah!" someone on the other side shouted, banging on the door.

"Open the damn door!" Seonghwa seethed, but quickly muttered a 'sorry' when I glared at him.

Both Yunho and Jongho opened the double doors at the same time, and the person entered. My mind had a small explosion, my heart beating twice the speed it should have, and the hairs all over my body stood up in the collective gasps we all had when we saw him.

He was someone I never thought I'd ever see again, someone I dearly missed even though we ended on a sour note, someone I couldn't wait for anymore even though I told myself I would.

"Wooyoung," I whispered, a bit teary eyed.

"Wooyoung," Seonghwa confirmed, but I could see how nervous he became.

"Wooyoung?" Mingi asked in surprise.

"Wooyoung!" Hongjoong laughed in disbelief. "Wooyoung," San growled, gritting his teeth.

"Oh hello there, Wooyoung," Yeosang suddenly entered the room. I can tell he was upset, especially because he patted Wooyoung's back in a "friendly" manner.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Wooyoung screamed his signature loud screech, but it was too late.

His squawks get louder as everyone, except me and Seonghwa, swarmed him aggressively, like a mob that threatened to end his existence. There were laughter mixed with complaints but overall, everybody seemed happy.

"You crazy son of a bitch, you have us worried, you never even called or texted!"

"Wow, you're uglier than before---ow!"

"Don't ever think of leaving again!"

"Come here, you monkey!"

I felt Seonghwa tense from behind me. I patted his arm, causing him to look at me. I frowned a bit, his eyes held anxiety and inferiority. I understood, the man I used to love was here.

"Alright, alright! Get off me, you airheaded buffoons!" Wooyoung shouted, trying to push everyone off, but ended up laughing hysterically with Mingi and Jongho.

Hongjoong only shook his head and rolled his eyes but I can tell he was happy. San grabbed his collar harshly and for a moment, we thought he was angry, but he ended up pulling Wooyoung into a bone crushing hug and Yunho had to pull him away to give him a hug of his own.

Yunho had always carried the burden of guilt for the past year, he kept saying that he could have stopped Wooyoung back then. Yeosang ruffled Wooyoung's hair roughly, something he did when he's overwhelmed on how to express his feelings.

"Have you guys seen, uhm--oh," Wooyoung began, but faltered when his eyes met mine., his smile dropping in slow motion. He didn't know I'd be here.

The air became tense all of a sudden. A sudden heartache filled my mind with dread, flashbacks of what happened years ago reminding me of the bond we made only for it to break. But even though it hurt, I was genuinely happy he was here, so I put a smile on my face.

He was shocked, his eyes going back to the same twinkle he had back then, but it quickly disappeared when Seonghwa cleared his throat, then I saw it disappear permanently.

"We, uh, we should leave you guys to talk," Seonghwa murmured.

"A-Are you sure, Hwa?" I hesitated, holding onto his arm to stop him from moving. 

I wasn't the only one surprised when Seonghwa nodded lightheartedly. "Mhhm," he hummed. "Plus," he glanced at Wooyoung. "This is a long overdue conversation."

With that, everyone left the room, but not before Seonghwa shook Wooyoung's hand. My heart was filled with pride. "Nice to see you again, old friend," Seonghwa patted Wooyoung's shoulder gently. This is why I loved him, he trusted me wholeheartedly.

Seonghwa knew everything, from how Wooyoung met me, to how grateful I was for everything he's done for me, all the way to him leaving me. Seonghwa and Wooyoung and pretty much everyone used to be good friends but he had to move away when they were younger because of his parents' work. He cried for me, he cried for everything I've been through, and cried for how far I've become.

Wooyoung stood awkwardly from where he was after Seonghwa had left, and I didn't even know what to do either. I wasn't even sure if he was the same person he was before he left, three years was a long time. We were strangers to each other at this point because I definitely have changed.

"S-Sit, Wooyoung, please," I blurted, not looking him in the eye as I pointed at the sofa across from where I was.

I stared at him as he awkwardly did as he was told. The years have been bittersweet to him - he had become unbelievably handsome, but his eyes had lost that youth and spark to it. 

He had more muscle to him, and his face had matured into this angular and chiseled appearance - his brows were more prominent, his cheekbones higher, and his jaws stronger. His hair was longer too, instead of the bright red I knew him for, he had this black and blonde layered on top of each other like an Oreo cookie.

"How are you doing, Y/N?" he softly asked. Even his voice got deeper, more booming, but it was still as calming as I remembered it to be.

"I'm good, I feel really happy," I genuinely replied. "I'm glad you're able to come despite your schedule."

"Of course," he sighed. "I'm surprised you still invited me."

"Why wouldn't I?" I whispered, all the hurt threatening to spill out from me. "B-But how have you been? Did you get what you wanted?"

I knew the answer to that question. Of course he did, Wooyoung was now a well-known photographer who was in-demand all over South Korea. He was basically a celebrity, but I still wanted to hear it come from his mouth.

Wooyoung smiled tightly. "Yes and no," he said cryptically.

"W-Why?"

Wooyoung stared at me for a minute, his eyes not giving away what he was feeling. My heart almost burst out of my ribcage. He tried so hard, but he was fiddling with his pants, a sign he was nervous.

We might be two different people now, but I still knew him like the back of my hand. 

"So," he cleared his throat, finally looking away. "Seonghwa, huh?"

I hummed, letting him get away with the fact that he was changing the topic. "Yeah, we just clicked," I smiled shyly. "A couple of months after you left, Joong introduced us together..."

He nodded, choosing not to reply. It got awkward again after that, the silence filling the room in an uncomfortable manner. He was only a couple of feet away from me, but he felt like miles back. My heart cracked a little, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"I-I'm happy for you, Y/N, I really am," his voice cracked towards the end. "Congratulations on y-your...wedding."

I swallowed a huge lump on my throat when I saw Wooyoung look down, his hands on either side of his head, cradling it as I heard him sniffle. It felt like thunder to my ears, but I chose not to comment on it so as to not embarrass him.

"It was nice the first year, I felt like I was on top of the world with nothing tying or holding me back," he laughed bitterly. "But afterwards, I felt like shit. I had no family, no friends, no you. Letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life."

I stayed silent, afraid that if I opened my mouth, I would cry too. "I'm afraid now, little dove, I'm so afraid of doing things now because that one, single mistake cost me my whole life..."

I bit my lip hard, my heart breaking a little bit more for him. Oh, how the tables have turned, I used to be the one that always got scared of trying something, and it took me a while to fully commit to Seonghwa.

"I am so, so sorry, Y/N..."

I let Wooyoung pour his heart out, letting him sob silently on the sofa. I gripped my robe tightly, wanting to go to him like the old times, but I couldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because Wooyoung needed his moment. He wasn't only crying for the both of us, but for the suffering, the loneliness of being alone, and everything he went through to get the success he longed to have.

"I'm proud of you, Wooyoung, you did well. You did what you had to do back then, I can't fault you for that," I told him. "Yes, I was mad at you, I'm not going to deny that, but I forgave you a long time ago."

I finally let out all the things I've always wanted to tell him. "One day you were just gone, you couldn't even explain why. We were best friends, soulmates, or so I thought."

"What killed me the most was I felt like our journey together had just begun, and you had left too soon," my breath hitched. "You came, then you left, and you took parts of me I didn't know existed, as well as yours because I never had the chance to explore you."

He stayed silent, listening to me like he once did years ago. "To this day I still ask myself what happened, Wooyoung, what would life have been if you had stayed? What would it be like if we did things differently? For the longest time, I blamed you for leaving, and then myself for letting you go so willingly."

Wooyoung shook his head. "It's not your fault," he gulped. "I blamed myself for your cries that I pretended not to hear, for the anger that consumed me, I blame myself for not holding your hand tighter, for the tears I did not wipe away, and I blame myself for the loss of you."

He stares at me with his tear-stained eyes, not bothering to cover all the emotions he tried to hide earlier. He grinned bitterly at me, I knew how much it meant for anyone to tell him how proud they were of him.

He puts his palm over his chest, eyes closed. "If only you can feel how hard this heart beats for you," he whispered. "It's all for you, but would you be mad if I told you it's not as strong as it once was?"

I wanted to hold his hand once more like we used to do when we were still together, not as lovers, but as good friends, but I was frozen on my chair.

"Why would I be?" I tilted my head curiously, tutting at him lightheartedly to lift the mood in the room. "You underestimate me."

Finally, he smiled genuinely. "I can't help it," he chuckled. "The intensity is less, I can't repair all the hurt I gave you."

He paused, hesitating if he should say what he wanted to say, but he opened his mouth anyway. "You were my dream after all," he whispered begrudgingly. "I was blind not to see it."

That did it. The dread and burden I've been feeling was finally lifted off of me and I finally feel lighter than a feather.

The wounds he gave me were still there and they will heal slowly, but I can't deny my own heart right at this moment.

"Woo?" I smiled tightly. He looked at me expectantly, and it made my insides mushy. "My heart that beated for you will never stop either, so don't beat yourself up. I can never get rid of it."

He stared at me like I held the stars from the sky and offered it to him. In hindsight, I might as well have done it. He scoffed lightly. The insinuation was there, but that's all there is - that I still held him in my heart but it stops here.

"Don't be afraid to try new things, weren't you the one who always told me that? You miss the shots you don't take. If you don't want to make the same mistakes as you did with me, grab them while they're still there," I shrugged.

It was like nothing happened, as if we weren't separated for so long because of our circumstances. We finally caught up, laughed, giggled, gossiped like we used to before things got bad between us. I missed him so much, the way he would laugh like a dying fox, the way his eyes crinkled up, all of it.

We talked, we cried, the whole nine yards. The missing piece I didn't know was missing until now finally completed me. How have I lived that long without him?

"You got your wish now," Wooyoung jokes. "You finally have Mars once you marry Seonghwa."

Ah yes, Seonghwa helped me all throughout my journey. If it wasn't for him, I would have been a goner.

I scoffed, the nostalgia hitting me like a ton of bricks. "I can't believe you still remember that," I laughed. "I do have Hwa now, yes, but the planetarium will always be my first Mars."

Wooyoung smirked playfully. "It had better be. I hated it."

"What?" I threw a pillow at him jokingly. "Why did you take me then?"

"I guess you're going to have to find out, hmm?" he snickered.

He was about to throw a pillow at me too, but when he saw my solemn expression, he stopped. 

This time the nostalgia hit us both. That was exactly what he said when I asked if I had to pay for the very first photo he took of me.

Instead of being sad, one look at each other and we burst out laughing, giggling, and guffawing like hyenas in the wild, not caring if anybody heard us and thought we were crazy.

"Y/N?" Wooyoung uttered endearingly. I hummed in response. "Can I hold your hand for the last time?"

I held my hands for him, and he grabbed it so gently I wanted to cry. They were warm, and he held on yet simultaneously set me free.

He brought my hands to his chest, looking like he wanted to kiss them, but he held back out of respect for Seonghwa. Instead of his lips, tears fell onto them.

"If there is another life," he whispered. "I hope I can meet you again and if not, I will find you until I cease to breathe."

His heartbeat was so steady, and I felt my body shake, and once more, my eyes filled with unshed tears and I cried for the both of us this time. He releases one of my hands and wipes my tears delicately.

"Please don't cry, not for me again," he croaked, trying his very best to stop his own tears. "I don't want you to ruin your makeup."

"It's okay, Seonghwa and his team did my makeup anyway," I sniffled. "I hope in the next life you're not going to hate that you need me."

"Never," he objected. "Even if we don't remember, my heart will know."

I swatted his arm playfully. I never meant to giggle a little at that, he had always been so poetic and so cheesy. I guess some things never change.

"Stay for the wedding and reception, please?" I fretted. "I want my best friend there. Mingi tailored a suit for you in case you came."

I was nervous, afraid that he would reject my plea because he might feel out of place. I sighed a breath of relief when I saw him beam.

"I'll be there," Wooyoung mused. "I owe you this at least, Y/N, and I am going to give you and Seonghwa the best photos you both will ever see."

I cheered internally, but my excitement tipped over the top and I couldn't help but outwardly show it. Wooyoung laughed and we finally pulled ourselves in a hug to seal the deal. It was enough to make up for all the years we spent apart because one touch entwined our souls.

I realized that the electric spark that once tickled my skin whenever Wooyoung touched me was still there, and it was as strong as I knew it to be, but they no longer burned.

More tears made their way on Wooyoung's shirt when I recognized that I had healed a long time ago. I had mourned my loss and woke up anew, and the passing time did wonders too.

"Did you feel that?" Wooyoung mumbled, and I knew he referred to that spark.

"Yes," I squeaked. "Yes, I did. But why did you lie?"

Wooyoung paused from rubbing soothing circles on my back. "What do you mean?"

"I can feel your heart. The intensity never lessened, Wooyoung, you lied."

He pulled away from me, his lips pursed as he held my face with his hands. "I have to," he admitted. "I can't ruin the happiness you have found for yourself."

There were no words that needed to be spoken. We had finally found the closure we both needed.

The rest of Ateez entered the room one by one and gave both of us a knowing look. Wooyoung and I both grinned at them and gave them a thumbs up, to which they cheered loudly.

"You good, darling?" Seonghwa kissed my forehead as the others whisked Wooyoung away with teasing tones so he could change his outfit.

"Thank you, Hwa, thank you so much," I gushed, melting at his solemn embrace.

Seonghwa had always been there for me, he was so loving and patient towards me, and most of all, Seonghwa had chosen me, and I chose him.

He had his work too, he was a makeup artist, and that required traveling a lot, but instead of leaving me like Wooyoung did, Seonghwa did everything in his power to take me with him so we could be together. He didn't give up on the love we shared.

Wooyoung and I still loved each other dearly, but we had chosen our paths a long, long time ago - he chose to leave, and I chose to move on with my life. Seonghwa had made me realize that if you really loved somebody, nothing will stop you. 

I kissed my future husband tenderly on the lips, to which he returned with urgency. The love I felt for him was different from the love I had for Wooyoung, but it burned just as brighter, if not stronger.

It was the true love I had longed to have.

Seonghwa and I finally tied the knot. Our wedding was a celebration of our love and those who came to celebrate it with us. It was simple, pure and all I ever wanted.

"I, Park Seonghwa, promise to love you, L/N Y/N, and cherish you until my last breath, and even then, you have to make sure I'm dead because I will always come back to you," he vowed, making a couple of people laugh. "You came in at the right time of my life, and I promise that for as long as I am here, I will make you the happiest woman on Earth. I love you so, so much, my darling."

I couldn't even get the words out, tearing up profusely especially with how Seonghwa looked at me with such love. At this point I wasn't the only one sniffling.

"I, L/N Y/N, promise to love you, Park Seonghwa, and cherish you until--- wait, if you go, then I'll be lonely, so please don't go," I giggled along with our friends and family. "You are the reason I'm alive, and I cannot believe I am marrying the love of my life. I will be yours as you want me to, Hwa."

The moment the priest announced that Seonghwa can kiss the bride, everybody whooped and cheered loudly and I couldn't help but laugh in between my now husband's kiss. I could've sworn I saw Hongjoong shed a tear or two but San was too busy teasing the elder by cooing at him mockingly.

Yeosang almost protested when Seonghwa's kiss lasted a little too long, but Wooyoung had quickly covered his mouth and pulled him away while he flailed his arms comically.

The wedding reception was a beautiful garden party that oversaw the lake. We were all surrounded by the fragrant petals that amplified the romantic sunset that gave the sky a pretty tinge of pink and purple.

Yunho was a wonderful host despite the initial nervousness he held and there was never a dull moment, especially when Mingi had caught the flower bouquet I had thrown over my shoulder. The gentle giant's reddened face was definitely the highlight of the night.

Jongho's voice filled the entire reception, to which me and Seonghwa encouraged everybody to dance to the rhythm whether Jongho sang a passionate song for us or an upbeat jazzy tune that made all of us dance the night away. Of course in between, me and my now husband would kiss and everyone would hoot.

Just as our wedding and love were elegant and sweet, so was our wedding cake. Everybody dwindled down to eat and drink to their heart's content. My feet were killing me anyway so I chose to sit down at my spot at the front with Seonghwa.

"You really went all out with this, huh?" I teased him.

He laughed, his deep sending delicious shivers up my spine. "Heck yeah," he snorted. "This is a once in a lifetime thing, baby."

As we watched everyone enjoy the night with their friends and family, I saw Wooyoung bowing to this old man, a friend of my father's, with a huge smile on his face after giving him his calling card.

I was happy for him, it looks like he finally followed his heart and scored another deal after being scared of doing another one. I watched him take his phone out and call somebody giddily, and when he dropped the call, I laughed as I saw him punch the air in excitement.

It was as if he knew someone was watching him. Wooyoung looked back and we made eye contact for the last time as old lovers. There were no words between us, but a million things in our eyes as we finally let go of all the hurt.

He smiled at me, nodding once, and I did the same, smiling back at him softly, before he turned around and left the venue.

And just like that, he was gone.

[animebw]

Kumirei and Conflict Avoidance

So, after that earth-shattering Eupho episode last weekend, I am, unsurprisingly, hyperfixating on Kumirei once again. I keep rolling this conflict over in my head, how we got to this point, how inevitable it was in hindsight, how it reveals new sides of Kumiko and Reina's relationship I hadn't really considered before. And you know me: when I have thoughts, I have to talk about them. SPOILERS BELOW FOR ALL OF HIBIKE EUPHONIUM UP TO THIS POINT.

The thing is, Kumiko and Reina are incredibly different people. But one way in which their differences make them very much the same is that they both suck at handling messy interpersonal conflict. When faced with a problem that has no clear answer and every solution will end with someone getting hurt, they both balk at the prospect of actually facing that conflict head-on and dealing with that ambiguity. The difference is that Kumiko tries to shy away from dealing with the situation at all and hopes everyone will somehow find a way to get along, whereas Reina doubles down on her perspective and refuses to hear any counter-arguments. Kumiko reacts to uncomfortable issues by saying "Well, maybe everyone's right, I guess?", while Reina reacts by saying "No, I'm the only one who's right, and if you're against me you're doing it wrong."

And in a lot of ways, that makes them perfect for each other! Reina's stubborn passion is what pushed Kumiko out of her comfort zone and gave her the spark to actually care about what she's doing. And on the flipside, Kumiko's willingness to give people the benefit of the doubt gives Reina someone she can rely on when her pride is pushing everyone else away. At their best, they balance each other out perfectly, Reina inspiring Kumiko to try her hardest and Kumiko giving Reina a safe place to let herself be vulnerable. It's what's made them such an incredible couple for over a decade now.

But when things go really south, those instincts can end up bringing out the worst in each other instead. Reina's stubbornness can be so overwhelming that Kumiko can't bring herself to actually confront her for fear of how angry she'll be. And that reluctance ends up enabling Reina further, pushing her toward greater arrogance secure in the knowledge that at least one person will always be on her side. Reina makes Kumiko shrink even further, Kumiko lets Reina's ego swell even bigger, and suddenly the same odd-couple magic that pushed them to such great heights becomes a vicious circle dragging them both down.

Because at heart, neither of these girls have yet figured out how to navigate a situation that demands asking uncomfortable questions and making imperfect choices. Neither of them are brave enough to handle a messy conflict with the level of maturity it demands. Keep in mind that as many ups and downs as they've had, Kumiko and Reina have never truly gotten in a massive argument with each other, an argument that would demand them making those hard choices. The closest we got was the infamous episode in season 2 where Reina's crush on Taki-sensei boils over and threatens to drive a rift between them- and there again, Kumiko deflects the conflict, telling Reina she's "rooting for her" rather than face the issue head-on and deal with the fact that the girl she loves is stuck on her feelings for an adult who will never return them. Which, as I've discussed before, is framed just about as tragically and depressingly as cinematic language can accomplish.

But now that Kumiko's band leader? She can't keep running from arguments anymore. She has to dive headfirst into the thick of all her bandmates' issues and actively choose how to best keep them together, even if that means making hard calls she isn't comfortable making. And Reina's in a position of power now where her hard-headedness doesn't just affect her, but trickles down to all the underclassmen she's trying to lead. Neither of them can afford to let their worst habits drive their decision-making anymore- because it won't just be them that suffer if they refuse to rise to the occasion.

Which brings us to the boiling point of Kuroe taking Kumiko's place in the audition. In the aftermath of this upset, we see both Kumiko and Reina's coping mechanisms pushed to their limits. Kumiko's trying to calm everyone's worries while her own heard is still a whirlwind, Reina's doubling down and refusing to even consider Taki-sensei made a wrong call, and it reaches a point where this state of affairs just isn't sustainable anymore. There's too much tension built up, there's too many people's dreams and hopes on the line. Something has to give, or everything's going to give.

And it's here, at last, that Kumiko finally does something she's never had the courage to do.

She stands up to Reina and tells her, point-blank: "No, Reina, YOU'RE wrong."

No wonder it feels so monumental. No wonder Reina's shaken enough to rip apart their relationship. After years of not being able to address the deepest, stickiest issues that lie between them, Kumiko shatters the cycle of enabling they've been falling into and tells Reina that she is wrong. She is wrong to put herself above everyone else and not listen to alternatives. She is wrong to blindly put faith in Taki-sensei at the expense of all her bandmates counting on her to have their best interests at heart. She is wrong to let her pride and stubbornness guide her. It's bad for the band, it's bad for her, and it's bad for her relationship with Kumiko. And if they're going to have any chance of moving forward, then she needs to be just as brave in facing this mess honestly as Kumiko is. She needs the courage to accept that she isn't always right, that her way or the highway is no way at all, that the uncompromising road she walks will one day separate her from everyone she once held close.

She needs to let go of her fear of emotional honesty and meet Kumiko on the level she's finally been able to reach.

And you know what sticks with me the most? After Reina lashes out at Kumiko and essentially tells her to get stuffed, we see the horror in Kumiko's eyes as she realizes the consequences of finally standing up to the girl she loves...

...only for her expression to settle back into the determination of a girl standing by what she said regardless.

After so many years, Kumiko is facing her closest companion's worst traits dead in the face. And in this moment, in this expression, she decides that doing the right thing is more important than clinging to their relationship through thick and thin.

It's a face that says, "If this is the choice you're making, then this is worth ending things over."

And I can't blame her one bit.

[pikahlua]

uhm tbh tomura is a martyr at least from the narrative's pov. his character was there to show the mistakes from modern hero society that felt so safe on the outside and ''allowed'' afo to groom him into believing he was evil incarnate, or at least he represented that in the beginning. tomura's storyline also felt rushed with this ending (it was acknowledged that he never chose anything for himself and then.. ganbare izuku ^_^). the build up for izuku saving tomura also became a pile of nothing.

Do you know what a martyr is? I don't think you know what a martyr is. Especially because Tomura did not believe he was evil incarnate at the end there. His beliefs changed. Pretty much the opposite of a martyr. And I think it's a bit wild you think it's viable to blame all of society for AFO grooming Tomura, wtf? I don't think even Tomura believed anything like that. He hated that society wouldn't try to save him because he was deemed an undesirable.

And I keep seeing this idea that he "never chose anything for himself." You know there is no requirement that that has to happen, right?

But even allowing for that, of course Tomura chose things for himself. He chose to exact vengeance on AFO when he could have just faded away. He chose to be a hero for the villains, and it was acknowledged that came from something fundamental to him since childhood. Just because AFO had a hand in everything in his life since birth doesn't mean Tomura made 0 choices. You don't have to take AFO at his word, you know.

Y'all keep railing on ideas that you see as flaws in the story without a mind for that they may actually be features. You're just not willing to countenance the thought that Tomura's story may be a tragedy or have a bittersweet ending. I'm kinda shocked, because I really kinda dug that Tomura got one last hit in and that he let go of his hatred but still retained his identity as the hero of the villains. You do you, I guess.

Izuku's story is another matter, but it's also the most obviously incomplete at this time, so there's not much for me to do there but speculate.

[class1akids]

Japanese reactions to the MHA 424 Shouto panel

I went through the Japanese Shouto tags last night on Twitter because I was curious about their reactions to Shouto's panel and what it may mean. The comments were around 5 main topics:

1. Sad that he's alone

ここでは1人でいてほしくないなって思いました - I didn't want you to be alone here, I thought

1人になるなーーッッ！！！囲め囲め！- Don't be alone!!! Surround them, surround them!!

🍰くん後ろ姿で1人なの辛すぎ 誰か……誰か近くに行ってあげてくれ

🍰-kun, it's so painful to see you all alone and looking at your back. Someone... Someone please go and get him.

2. A general sense of unease, wondering what kind of fallout he'll get and if he'll be blamed for the rest of his life for Dabi

🍰くんの後ろ姿が不安で仕方ない… I can't help but feel uneasy about 🍰-kun's back

轟くんが心配 - I'm worried about Todoroki

🍰家こそ……戦いの終わりが憎しみの終わりじゃないんだよな……の背中… 🍰 The end of the battle is not the end of the hatred...

Ahhhh, I wonder if 🍰will continue to be blamed by the citizens as I've often seen in fan fiction. Seriously,🍰 's path to becoming a hero is too harsh.

本誌　ヒロアカ 轟家はこれから先地獄と言われてるし覚悟してるけど轟くんの後ろ姿で泣く Magazine: It's been said that the future of the Todoroki family in My Hero Academia will be hellish, and I'm prepared for it, but seeing Todoroki's back makes me cry

No matter how hard 🍰-kun tries, there will always be a certain number of people who will unreasonably hurt 🍰 -kun, and it's really painful to think that this will never go to zero. People will probably say all sorts of things about 🍰-kun without knowing how much resolve he had and how much pain he fought to overcome. But I guess that's the reality. I hope he'll be happy.

tdrkくんだけ後ろ姿なの辛い しかも「けれど」っていう言葉と同じコマなのはやっぱりまだtdrk家はまだ終わってないし終われない、これからどうしていくのかっていう方が大事なんだよね だからとぅやくんも生きてるんだよね It's sad that only tdrk is shown from behind Moreover, the reason it's in the same frame as the word "however" is that the TDRK family isn't over yet and can't end, what's important is what to do from now on, and that's why Touya is still alive.

しょとくん、これから「俺の顔見たら遺族や被害者家族が苦しむと思うから」という理由でテレビ雑誌などの媒体に一切出ず、給料も莫大に入ってるのに最低限だけ残して全部ダビの遺族への慰謝料に当てて、俺は幸せになっちゃいけないからヒーロー業だけ専念するんだ…という生活を送ったら…どうしよう… - Shoto, from now on you won't be appearing on TV, in magazines or in any other media because "I think the bereaved families and the victims' families will suffer if they see my face", and even though you're making a huge salary, you'll only keep the bare minimum and use it all to pay compensation to Dabi's victims' families, and you can't be happy so you'll focus only on your hero work...what should I do if I live that kind of life...?

🍰くんだけ背負ってるものが大きすぎるし、ヴィランではなく世論を相手にしなくては行けない未来が待っているのは必至だし、もちろん 🍰くんはその業を進んで背負うんだろうけど、ちょっと辛いなと思った時に思い出せる仲間たちがいて、折れない起源をちゃんと家族以外で作ることができてよかった

🍰s the only one who has to carry a heavy burden, and it's inevitable that a future awaits him in which he will have to deal with public opinion rather than villains, and of course 🍰 will willingly bear that burden, but I'm glad that he has friends he can remember when he's feeling a bit down, and that he was able to create an unyielding origin outside of his family.

とどろきくんちどうなっ…ウ……顔見えない…なにを思ってる…しょと……What's going on at Todoroki's house... I... I can't see his face... What are you thinking... Wait...

tdrkくんはdabiのこととかあるしそこらへん描かれるかな dkくんとも喋ってほしいな！！！tdrk-kun has things to do with dabi, so I wonder if that will be depicted. I'd love to talk to DK-kun too!!!

冒頭の明るい雰囲気は「5歳の読者」に向けての先生の心遣いだと思うけど、「元には戻らない」ということが繰り返し描かれていて、そこはよかった…。 デも勝も現時点でいったん何かしらを失ったけど、ショは大丈夫ですか…？　ショは30巻からもうだいぶ失いっぱなしだから、これ以上はないすか…？I think the bright atmosphere at the beginning is the teacher's consideration for the "5-year-old readers," but I liked how it repeatedly depicts the idea that "things can't go back to the way they were." Both De and Katsu have lost something so far, but is Sho okay? Sho has already lost a lot since volume 30, so is there anything more he can do?

3. The meaning of the Ochako - Shoto - Spinner panels and the villains fate (also, JPN fandom was also really confused about the Spinner scales panel - many thinking it was oysters or the remains of Dabi)

とどろきくんとお茶子ちゃん、単純にこれで良かったにならない2人のエピソードもやってくれそうで嬉しいな。 それは2人だけじゃないのは大前提やけど、今後周りから受けるものが賞賛でも非難でも、2人の中でこれで良かったともならず、これで終わりとはしなさそうなので、真っ直ぐ明るいものだけじゃな

I'm glad that they will also have episodes about Todoroki and Ochako that don't simply end with the ending. It's a given that they're not the only ones who feel this way, but whether they receive praise or criticism from those around them in the future, it doesn't seem like they're happy with this or that this is the end, so it's not just about being straightforward and bright.

爆豪勝己 緑谷出久が笑いあってるよ。 お茶子ちゃん、轟くん心配だな…トガちゃんと荼毘くん…轟くん『一緒にうどん食べる』って言ってたもんね… Bakugou Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku are laughing together. Ochako-chan, I'm worried about Todoroki-kun... Toga-chan and Dabi-kun... Todoroki-kun said he wanted to eat udon together...

救えたとか救えなかったのか、デとお茶子と轟くんはこの先一生考えていくんだろうし、やっぱ今後の個性社会と同じで元には戻れないね

Deku, Ochako, and Todoroki will probably be thinking about whether they were able to save him or not for the rest of their lives, and just like in the future society of quirks, there's no going back.

mdryizkとbkgktkが主軸で、それにtdrkshtとurrkochkを合わせてくれたのが嬉しい　みんながどうこれから歩んでいくのかめちゃくちゃ楽しみ　tdrkくんがね、心配だけど　hrks先生だからきっと大丈夫

I'm glad that mdryizk and bkgktk are the main focus, and that tdrksht and urrkochk were added to them. I'm really looking forward to seeing how everyone will move forward from now on. I'm worried about tdrk-kun, but I'm sure it'll be fine because it's hrks-sensei.

何でお茶子ちゃんと轟くんの間にスピナーの鱗？なんだろ、と思ったけど明るい未来を示すキーパーソン的な意味での並びかな- Why are Spinner's scales between Ochako-chan and Todoroki-kun? I wondered why, but I guess it's because they're key people who represent a bright future.

4. If Shouto lost his voice

い、嫌じゃ！嫌じゃ！🍰くんから「mdry」の鳴き声が失われるのは嫌じゃ！！（いいぞやれぇ！やっちまえぇhrks先生ぇ！）

I, I don't want that! I don't want that! I don't want 🍰 to lose the cry of "mdry"!! (Go ahead! Go for it, hrks-sensei!)

轟くん親子赫灼熱拳のシーン技名心の声で叫んでるのか実際声に出して叫んでるのかどっちなんだろ… In the scene where Todoroki-kun and his father use the Burning Fist, are they shouting the name of the technique in their minds or actually shouting it out loud?

これはちょっとズレた想像かもしれないけどtdrkくんの喉が心配…で…… 一次戦でも喉焼かれて声ガスガスになってて今回も耐えられる身体にって備えて戦ったけど、気絶前喉やられてたし最後集合した時の足場作った時大口開けてたけど特に声を出していた描写なし……。 ………………………、This might be a bit of a stretch, but I'm worried about tdrk's throat... so... In the first battle his throat was burned and he was speechless, so he fought this time prepared with a body that could withstand it, but his throat was damaged before he passed out, and although his mouth was wide open when he was building a foothold for when they all gathered at the end, there's no depiction of him making a sound...

tdrkくんマジで喉やられてたりしたんかな〜 倒れる前はわりと話してたけどそこからほんま言葉発してないもんな I wonder if tdrk's throat was seriously damaged. He was talking quite a bit before he collapsed, but he hasn't really said a word since then.

5. Shouto deserves praise and happiness too

誰か 🍰くんのことも褒めたげてよぉ…

Someone praise 🍰 too...

🍰-kun also showed his true, honest and hardworking side in the letter during the final battle, so I just want him to be happy and laugh.

轟くんの幸せを祈るしかねえよかっちゃんみたいにいつか落ち着いて轟くんも泣けるといいな All I can do is pray for Todoroki-kun's happiness I hope that one day Todoroki-kun will calm down and be able to cry like Kacchan

[yuri-is-online]

OOOOOO REQUEST ARE OPEN(ish)??!?!?!??!!??!?!?!??!!!!

Is it just for the mafia AU or are they open in general? Does your no nsfw rule still apply? Does Azul still dress like my local neighborhood pimp or his he just. Business man? I know he keeps the cane which is very lavender pimp of him but still-

So the no nsfw rule no longer applies, the requests are open(ish) because people keep sending me things about yutu and i am bad at saying no ;-; I'm planning on leaving things this way until sometime next week as starting on the 16th I will be on a defacto haitus once classes start. I still intend to write but I'll be very very busy, so I would like to just focus on what I find interesting, which will likely be longfics as I find writing them to be soothing.

Azul has a lot more variety in his fashion in the Mafia AU. He's very focused on the optics of how he looks so he spends a lot of time picking out what he wears depending on what he's going to do. He saves the pimp fits for when he's touring his businesses and meeting with clients in need of his... services. When he's appearing in public as a "normal" member of the community he dresses more like a typical businessman. An extremely stylish businessman with expensive tastes and a fondness for oceanic accents, but a businessman nonetheless. The cane was a gift from his step-father once his career really started taking off, and he likes the air of authority it adds to him when he's in business meetings. It also helps him keep up an illusion of physical frailty, Azul is strong enough to crack someone's skull open with that cane but you would never guess that from the way he acts, and if the cane isn't enough he always has a gun tucked somewhere into his suit, even when he's visiting Yuu.

Speaking of that, while Azul typically leaves the information gathering to Jade and his handpicked crew, he does have a few aliases he uses to go places he wouldn't be able to otherwise. Sometimes it's his employees so he can see what their jobs are like for himself and think up ways to make them better, but most of the time it's so he can do normal things without attracting attention. Mundane things like play chess in the park, shop for groceries when he's in the mood to cook for himself, go to a record store he likes that's in Leona's part of town and wouldn't want to serve him otherwise....

And maybe spy on the person who scammed him out of a lucrative piece of real estate and fall a little bit in love with the simplicity of their life. Among other things.

[afro-hispwriter]

(untitled)Ewan x reader

Ewan Mitchell x reader

Summary- you've been trying to get Ewan to watch Game of Thrones with you.

Warnings- language?, dirty minds? 

Wc-480

-

"This is the perfect time Ewan, I'm rewatching the show you can watch it with me. Please!" You pleaded with a pout at the man.

"No.”

"Please, just one episode, or if you really like it, or the first 6 seasons at least."

"No."  He flopped on the couch. 

"Ewan!" 

"Yes love?" He raised an eyebrow at you.

"Please, one episode." You climbed into his lap and hooked your hands on the back of his neck. "I will do anything you want for a week." 

Ewan licked his lips and grabbed your wrists to bring them to his mouth. He kissed them both and looked up at you. 

"Even." He let your wrists go and grabbed your hips instead to pull you in closer. He pushed his face up so his nose brushed against yours. "That steak recipe your mother served us last week?" Your shoulders slumped and your eyes rolled. 

"No fun." You started sliding off his lap but he tightened his grip.

"Not everyone has a dirty mind like you." 

"Just one episode and I will never bother you about it again." You fiddled with the silver chain on his neck. 

"I doubt that but it's still no, and you know why." 

"Ewannn." You elongated. "Season 2 has yet to air and even then, you have to wait for them to announce if they are renewing it for a third season." 

"I need to keep an open mind."

"You can still do that with one episode." You smiled brightly, Ewan threw his head back and scoffed in amusement. His Adam’s apple moved and you ducked your head down to place a light kiss on either side. 

“Nope, none of that.” Ewan lifted his head and grabbed your chin. “You will not tempt me.” You pouted once again and moved your face out of his grip, then leaned over to grab the table next to the couch for your phone. 

“Guess I will just have to call Tom and see if he wants to come over and watch it with me.” You said, pretending to be annoyed. You slid off his lap and sat next to him. You pretended to dial your friend when Ewan snatched the phone out of your hand and tossed it on the coffee table. The six-foot man practically flattened you into the couch. You giggled but it was silenced by Ewan’s thin lips being placed on yours.

“One episode.” He says after pulling away. Your face brightened.

“You won’t regret it.”

-

“Are you serious? They’re just going to kill Ned just like that?” Ewan says in disbelief as he stands before the large TV. “When does the little shit Joffery die?” He turns to you in search of an answer. You smirked and crossed your legs. 

“Guess we’ll have to keep watching.”

-

A/n- low key wanna do mini Ewan drabbles