#but i really did hope the girlies on the website would have a Touch more media literacy than the artist formerly known as nix hydra

[asmo-cosmetics]

"but you've gotta condemn lucio's actions though" not until y'all condemn nadia for being complicit in literally every decision he made while they were married or asra for violating mc's bodily autonomy or muriel for killing people or julian for not doing anything to stop valdemar killing people or

"but they did that because of their trauma" looks at you. looks at you. looks at y

[artificialqueens]

Withstanding The Test Of Time Ch6 - Shalaska - pureCAMP

A/N - Yes it has been a long time and yes, I’m still writing all my fics! Hang in there, any old fans, I haven’t given up on you.

Last time: Sharon and Alaska had a fight on the way home from the party, and Sharon was given an opportunity to express her views.

This time: Wait and see…

When a society is on the precipice, moments away from falling off the edge, it is nearly impossible to tell. Any act of defiance - any protest, any argument, any kind of resistance against the social norms - any of them could be the proverbial straw on the camel’s back, the tipping point that throws everything into chaos. Sometimes it can be a call for change, a new leader, a shift in the ways of thinking. 

Sometimes, it can be something as innocuous as an article, written by a newly-promoted journalist, desperate to use her degree and have her voice heard all at once. Sometimes, it can be as little as one woman’s fury to send the media into a frenzy.

That’s right. I didn’t want to get married. In fact, I was pretty much dragged to the registry office kicking and screaming, for all I didn’t want to be there. My childhood plan, to run away with my best friend and live as a fugitive for as long as possible, never came into fruition. I kept tape over the accusing numbers on my arm, and when the name appeared and I had to face facts, I did so with my own mortality at the very back of my mind. When a car wasn’t enough to finish me off, I knew a marriage to someone I didn’t even know definitely would be.

Alaska had gone to work before Sharon left the house, as usual. She had a habit of eating a disgustingly healthy breakfast and then going for a run before changing at the office, so the two had very little interaction within their shared home. It was better that way, Sharon mused. To live like distant flatmates, rather than actual married women. 

It had been a very slow morning after the whirlwind of Alaska disappeared through the front door. Sharon dragged herself up for a sleepy shower, did her best to make her face presentable if nothing else, and had left for work after possibly the slowest bowl of cereal she’d ever eaten.

Even the lingering grey clouds above her were dull. The world seemed to move in slow-motion, everything listless and unimportant. Despite the dreary weather, it was a little too warm for the long sleeves Sharon had opted for, but she shrugged her shoulders and tried to pretend that she wasn’t overheating on the way to the office. It was always freezing in there anyway, and she much preferred to sit and be too warm than to advertise the name of her wife to the world around her.

Just as she got to the lift, praying for a somewhat quiet morning, a familiar face appeared. Sharon reminded herself at the very least that it wasn’t one of the bitches, so she couldn’t be rude.

“Morning, superstar!” Sasha greeted, her mane of hair fluffed and curled messily around her shoulders. Her eyes were glittering with excitement, and she seemed to bounce as though she couldn’t keep all her energy in. 

“Uh, morning, Sash.” Sharon replied, still half-asleep. She was sure that at some point that morning, in an attempt to keep from falling back asleep, she had blinked too hard and smudged mascara everywhere. Hoping that wasn’t the case, she rubbed gingerly beneath her eyes and tried to muster a little more enthusiasm to match her friend’s, at the very least.

Sasha didn’t seem perturbed. “How are you feeling this morning, huh?”

“Tired?” Sharon suggested, growing confused. “I don’t get what the purpose of this interrogation is.”

All of a sudden, Sasha’s eyes grew wide and, if possible, even brighter. She seemed to be completely unsure of what to do with herself. Shrugging, Sharon walked a nearly-speechless Sasha to their desks. Her friend didn’t regain the ability to speak until she had thrown herself into her chair with a loud sigh.

“Have you… you haven’t been online this morning, have you?” Sasha’s tone was leading into something, but Sharon had no idea what it was. She shook her head. “Okay, um… Go on Twitter, I guess that’s probably the best place to go. I’m surprised your phone hasn’t blown up yet.”

Still baffled but choosing to trust Sasha’s judgement, Sharon pulled out her phone and tapped impatiently, waiting for it to respond to her touch. Before she could even reach for the Twitter app, however, she had accidentally tapped on one of the rapidfire notifications that were appearing at a seizure-inducing rate at the top of her screen. As it materialised and grew large on her screen, she did a double-take.

‘Stupid fucking liberal cunt, doesn’t know what the fuck she’s saying DO YOU @sharon_needles!! People like you who claim that soulmate love isn’t real should be EXECUTED! DISGUSTING!’

She blanched, not at all hurt by the bizarre statement but completely dumbfounded at its existence. As far as she was aware, Sharon didn’t know a @BillDewinski1956, let alone tweet anything that would catch his attention. At her expression, Sasha grabbed her phone and then gasped.

“Jesus! Some people are so charming, aren’t they… But I mean this! This is what you need to see.”

She handed the phone back on the list of trending news. The list was as she expected; something about the President’s latest fuck up, some viral tweet about girly movies, a singer making an apology for something dumb. But the banner at the very top was what caught her eye - a photograph of herself.

Media  .  16 hours ago

Controversial ‘timers’ article divides the internet with an unheard perspective on the law

97k people are tweeting about this

As soon as the words registered in her mind, Sharon’s stomach twisted into knots. She wasn’t sure if it was a pleasant sensation or not; all she knew was that her heart was hammering in her chest, her mind was racing, and she didn’t have a single idea what she was supposed to think.

Did this mean she was successful? Did this mean she was going to get fired? As disgusting as some of the replies to the article were, people were definitely interested. At least half of the responses seemed somewhat supportive of her - Sharon scrolled through replies of people who said they had cried when realising they weren’t the only ones, or explained how they’d managed to get past it, or simply commented that she had opened their minds to something they hadn’t considered before.

For the first time in her life, Sharon’s anger was powerful. For the first time, she had the power to influence how people thought and how people felt, and it was a very strange power to possess.

“Well?” Sasha prompted, pulling Sharon out of her introspective silence.

“Well…” Sharon answered, not nearly as eloquent in person as she was in writing. “Shit. That’s all I have to say.”

Sasha was practically beaming, and despite all the confusion and conflicting emotions Sharon felt about the whole situation, her friend’s glowing pride made her feel incredibly uplifted. It was rare that Sharon ever felt so supported and cared for.

“I always knew you would take the world by storm once they let you.” She praised, Sharon waving her off so that she didn’t end up blushing unattractively. “The website is down this morning so there’s not much we can do until maintenance fix it. Too much traffic from everyone trying all at once to read your article. You really swept everyone off their feet.”

Sharon shook her head, unable to accept the compliments. Sure, she’d caused a stir, but controversy always did. It wasn’t like they were praising how it was written, or the language and composition of the piece… no, had it been the usual lovey-dovey drip of an article about timers, no one would bat an eyelid. It was controversy, not skill, that had brought her notoriety.

“Trinity isn’t in this morning, but Peppermint wants to see you.” Sasha finished gently, noticing the slight embarrassment she’d caused. “No doubt to assign you another task to blow out of the water.”

For the first time since entering her job as an underpaid intern, nobody yelled, clicked at, or insulted Sharon as she walked through the office. No one demanded a coffee, or sent a scathing look in her direction. In fact, not a single head turned in her direction at all - possibly the closest thing she could get to a success.

Peppermint, or Agnes, as Sharon supposed she should call her, was the more forgiving of her two bosses, and as she made her way towards her office she prayed that nothing bad was going to happen. After all, she knew they couldn’t fire her for how the article was written, as she had taken the time to ensure it all made sense, but that didn’t mean her audacity couldn’t be the reason she got fired. As much as was her own thoughts, the content was a little outrageous given how few companies were willing to give platforms to voices like hers.

Thankfully, she was greeted with a smile. “Ah! Morning, Sharon. Just thought we could have a chat about that little article of yours.”

Oh god. Here it came. The pointed smile, the cold eyes, the flat tone of voice as she was told that they had taken a gamble on promoting her and it was clearly the wrong decision to make, and that she would need to be fired completely to avoid the humiliation of a demotion and for the good of the company overall, and she would have to rescind her article along with a grovelling apology for daring to be so forthright with her opinions in a society that didn’t want to hear them-

Agnes leaned forwards. “I loved it.”

Sharon was so taken aback, she nearly fell right off her chair. “I- What?”

“Look, Sharon…” She admitted, her voice low. “I’m a trans woman, I know all about causing a stir. There’s bigoted people out there who say I don’t deserve everything I have, simply because I transitioned. So even if we disagree, I want you to do more of this. Share your voice. Angry women change the world, and I can see you have some fire in you.”

Never in her life had Sharon expected to be praised for her boldness. It was something that people in her life had always endeavoured to change about her; the conviction with which she held her beliefs was dangerous. But someone, for the first time in what felt like forever, was encouraging her. Someone, even if it was Agnes alone, believed that what Sharon had to say was valuable, and wasn’t trying to silence her voice.

It was a strange feeling.

She wandered back to her desk in a daze, baffled enough by the meeting and sudden influx of attention that she felt slightly light-headed. Ignoring the swathe of notifications still flooding her phone from all apps, she opened her Twitter once more and decidedly, absently, to briefly address it and then move on. After all, she had more controversy to cause.

Sharon Needles - @sharon_needles

Angry women change the world ..

“She wants more.”

Sasha blinked. “Huh?”

Sharon shook her head, trying to mentally pull herself together and wrench her mind away from the absolute chaos she had somehow managed to cause. She switched her phone off, overwhelmed by the constant notifications, and wheeled her chair around to properly look at Sasha with a little more clarity.

“Peppermint… Agnes… whatever… She wants more from me. She wants me to keep doing what I’m doing, and not issue an apology, and I’m not fired, I don’t have to clear my things…” Sharon muttered, mostly to herself. “She- She wants to keep me here?”

Practically squealing, Sasha kicked the desk and propelled herself backwards in her chair, spinning gleefully. Her enthusiasm was strangely contagious, and within a couple of seconds, Sharon felt the same unbridled happiness bubbling up inside her. It was utterly euphoric.

“I didn’t get fired!”

“You didn’t get fucking fired!” Sasha repeated, her eyes squeezed shut in excitement. She had shuffled her way over to Sharon, and begun spinning her chair so that the both of them were racing round in circles, giddy and giggling.

Sharon laughed at the absurdity of it all - spinning around in her desk chair at work, rapidly promoted, a sudden success in a short amount of time. It was as if her luck was finally beginning to balance out, the bad making way for the good to start shining through.

“Okay, I… I need to start my next one. Or plan it. Or do something, I don’t know.” She babbled, skidding to a halt back at her desk and fumbling with the keyboard. “There’s so much I could touch on… God. I finally get to use my degree, huh?”

Sasha winked at her, the pride emanating from her bright eyes. “Get writing, bitch. Go and knock ‘em dead now that they’re all listening. I know you can do it.”

Now that was something she’d never tire of hearing, something new to her ears and like music every single time. People - a select few, but a rapidly increasing amount - believed in her.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of writing, planning and numbing excitement. It was no secret that Sharon had a lot to say, and she had been trying for years to get people to listen to her. All the protests, the arrests, the candid photographs of a young teenager with a sign in her hands, desperate for some kind of change to protect her from the uncertain future that gave her nightmares… they had to be worth something. Sharon had a voice now, and she couldn’t throw it away.

Time seemed to escape her, each second sliced away by the rapid clicking of keys beneath her fingers. There was so much to be said, so much to do, and before long, Sasha’s hand was gently shaking Sharon’s shoulder, wrenching her from her writing-induced stupor. It was beginning to darken outside, and the majority of the office were leaving or had already left.

“Fuck,” Sharon hissed, stretching and wincing slightly at the cracking of her bones. “I’m gonna go blind if I look at that screen for any longer. Thanks, Sash.”

Sasha smiled kindly. “Anytime. You’re doing great, just make sure you don’t burn yourself out. Try to relax tonight, yeah? Just take it easy, chill a little. I’d invite you over for drinks to celebrate, but I can imagine you’re exhausted.”

Her mood lifted from such a productive, surprising day, Sharon found herself in higher spirits than she expected. “Aww, maybe I’ll come see you and Shea tomorrow. You’re right, though, I think I need a night in to just relax and be by myself. And maybe mute my Twitter, seeing how crazy it was earlier.”

Her friend laughed appreciatively. “I’ll get some red wine in for the weekend, you’re welcome to come over anytime. Now get out of here, freak. Go home.”

Absent-mindedly, Sharon wondered if her slightly later-than-usual exit from work meant that she could claim for a little bit of overtime, or if it would affect which bus she got home on. The elevator music provided the perfect mindless background music for her thoughts, her brain having checked out of work-mode the moment she logged off her computer. As it dinged, the little noise always sounding before Sharon expected it to and making her jump, she walked out into the car park and started towards the bus station. Then she stopped.

Alaska’s car was parked next to Sasha’s, which was quickly pulling away. She was sitting behind the wheel, her arms folded across her chest, her eyes staring straight forward. When she spotted Sharon, her gaze only lingered for half a second before she turned away again, her expression completely, eerily blank. Somewhat apprehensive, Sharon approached.

The car window rolled down. “Alaska?”

“Thought you might want picking up. The buses around here aren’t very safe.”

Sharon lingered awkwardly. On the one hand, she didn’t really feel like spending time with Alaska, given the tension between them that seemed as though it would never go away. A fucking soulmate marriage counsellor, after all, and a fierce anti-timer law advocate, were hardly a match made in Heaven. On the other hand, Sharon had witnessed her fair share of bloody fights and drunk, leery men on her bus rides home.

Reluctantly, she opened the door and got into the passenger seat, glancing furtively at Alaska before lowering her gaze. This was weird - everything about all of their interactions was weird. At least this time, she supposed, Alaska wasn’t begging Sharon to like her. She just started the car without a word.

They drove in silence for a few excruciating minutes. Sharon didn’t usually mind awkward silences - she was usually the cause of them, after all, and would relish in the suffocating misery and discomfort that followed. But this silence wasn’t her own doing, and all of it sudden it wasn’t so nice to get a taste of her own medicine. She flexed her hands, unsure of what to do with herself, as Alaska sat rigid and drove seemingly without blinking. In a last-ditch attempt to break the tension, Sharon reached out toward the radio.

“It doesn’t work.” Alaska told her. “Don’t bother.”

“Oh.” Sharon stopped in her tracks, slowly retracting her hand. “Okay. Sorry.”

Alaska shrugged, barely. “It’s fine.”

They lapsed into silence again. This wasn’t right; Sharon was the one to sit and make others feel weird and strange, not Alaska. Her wife was supposed to be the one who wanted approval, not Sharon. The loss of power was unsettling.

When they came across a queue at a traffic light, Alaska huffed out a breath, as though she was irritated about something. “Want to get something to eat before we go home?” She asked, rather curtly. 

Her tone of voice knocked Sharon for six. It took a few moments for her to register the words, let alone come up with a response. “Uhh, no. Let’s just go.”

It seemed Alaska wasn’t having it. “Well, I think we should celebrate. There’s a good Thai place down this street, it has lots of vegan options too.”

Out of everything, the weirdest part was Alaska’s cold exterior. Sharon had to admit, begrudgingly, that as much as she didn’t like Alaska, she was always inviting and kind and willing to give a second (or third, or fourth, or fifth, or sixth) chance. She always offered little acts of kindness that Sharon turned down, her good intentions clear all the time. But this… whilst her words seemed kind, the chilling voice with which she spoke them were anything but.

“I don’t want anything, I just want to go home.” Sharon shot back.

“Or there’s a good pizza place, too.” Alaska ignored her. “Pretty cheap, but the garlic bread is super good. Special occasions call for special dinners, I think. We should celebrate your success at the very least. It’s only a ten minute drive extra from home.”

Sharon scowled, growing more annoyed by the second. “Why the fuck are you being nice? Shut up, fucking hell.”

Alaska snorted derisively. “The question is, why aren’t you being nice? You don’t have to be a cunt all the time, you know that, right?”

“I didn’t ask for you to fucking pick me up and start trying to buy dinner when all I want to do is get home and be on my own!” Sharon exploded. “Like fuck, girl, take a fucking hint! I can make my own goddamn way home!”

Alaska slammed on her brakes as the traffic came to yet another stop, jolting them both forward. “Why don’t you then, huh? Get out of my fucking car and walk home if you hate it so much. Go on, hurry up.”

Sharon recoiled, as though she’d been slapped. “What the fuck?”

“You heard me!” Alaska seethed. “Get out now while it’s not moving, or else I’ll fucking push you out whilst I’m driving. I’m sick of you, I’m fucking sick of you, and I don’t want to deal with your ass anymore. Get out of my car.”

The light turned amber.

“Gladly.” Sharon opened the door and slammed it shut, just in time. Alaska sped off as the light turned green, leaving Sharon in her dust.

It took a minute for everything to connect in Sharon’s head. What the fuck had just happened? Alaska had snapped. Everything that Sharon had done to torment her and make her life difficult had worked, and it had culminated in a burst of anger, which was exactly what she wanted - tangible proof that the soulmate business was a load of shit, and they just weren’t meant to be.

And yet… why did it feel so awful? Sharon walked faster than she thought she ever had before, her furious strides rivalling that of a yoga mom in a park. A mixture of rage and… was that guilt? wrestled in the pit of her stomach, festering and bubbling in a way that made her nauseous. This was exactly what she wanted, after all, for Alaska to stop fucking trying and accept that, no matter what, Sharon was never going to love her.

It seemed that her anger and hurt weren’t quite linked, and she couldn’t work out where they were coming from.

It was surprisingly cathartic to walk home in the brisk cold, the weather cooling off her angry heat as she walked the rest of the journey home. She had almost gotten over it completely when Alaska’s home came into view - and everything seemed to reignite at just the sight of it. No doubt Alaska had slammed the front door and stormed inside, judging by her haphazard parking job.

She pounded on the front door and waited. Of course, today had to be the day she forgot her key.

It swung open almost violently, revealing a pissed-off Alaska. “Oh, it’s you. I was hoping it was going to be a door-to-door serial killer. I should be so fucking lucky.”

Sharon shook her head in disbelief. “Okay, what the fuck is your problem? 

“My problem?” Alaska asked indignantly. “No, this isn’t my problem, Sharon, this is yours.” She all but yanked Sharon inside, shutting the door with an almighty bang and beginning to pace up and down the corridor. “You’re the one with the issues, and I’m tired of being nice to you only to get treated like shit in response. Willam told me to be patient with you, and fuck, I’ve tried, but you’re giving me nothing and I’ve had enough. So what, please tell me, did I fucking to do you?!”

Fuming again, Sharon shrugged off her coat and stormed into the kitchen, Alaska hot on her heels. She could practically see the steam coming out of her reddened ears.

“What the fuck are you talking about, Alaska? I don’t have time for your stupid games.”

Alaska almost growled. “You! I’m talking about you, Sharon, and how you seem to have no fucking regard for other people. I don’t care if you don’t like the laws about timers because fuck, tons of people don’t, and they’re fucking excessive and I understand that. Hate the system all you fucking want, but don’t take your anger out on me when I did nothing to you. I’ve done everything I can to make you comfortable here and then you- you-”

Sharon stood still and seethed, listening to Alaska’s rant with her jaw clenched. “Communication is key for a healthy marriage, you of all people should know that. Get to the fucking point.”

“I’M GETTING THERE!” Alaska screamed, and the force of her shout shocked Sharon into silence. Her face was distraught, pulled tight with fury and rage that seemed entirely uncharacteristic for someone like her. She was rational, collected, measured - someone who was pragmatic and logical. She didn’t just explode in emotional outbursts, or at least, Sharon had never thought she would.

“All I want to know,” She breathed, her tone dangerously calm, “Is what I did to make you hate me, and what I can do to make you like me. Because this- this-”

She held up her phone, the screen flashing in Sharon’s face - a screenshot of her newly-viral article. 

“I don’t know what the fuck I did to deserve this, okay?!”

Sharon rolled her eyes. “Oh please. I had the freedom to write about what I wanted, and so I wrote about what no one gets to hear, because sycophantic bitches like you who love the taste of government boots sit here all day and tell us how wonderful it is that we’re forced into marriages! Well, fucking newsflash, I don’t think that!”

“And you’ve made it quite fucking clear, from the day I met you!” Alaska cut in. “But for one fucking second, did you think about how this would affect me? How this would humiliate me?”

Tears were beginning to gather in the corners of Alaska’s eyes - hot, angry tears, threatening to spill over her scarlet cheeks and flared nostrils. In the midst of their blazing argument, seemingly a battle of attrition with hurled insults as their ammunition, Sharon started to feel… bad.

“What do you mean? It’s not like I fucking named you. You don’t need to be so sensitive.” She cursed.

Alaska shook her head, and Sharon sensed that if she pushed her any further, she would explode like a grenade. “I have been ridiculed all day - by my co-workers, even by my fucking clients. I walked into work with your name visible on my arm, so everyone knows that the Sharon Needles who wrote the scathing article is the same one that I’m married to.”

As she ranted, tears spilling over, Alaska kicked off her heels, ignoring how they flew across the room and likely damaged something of hers. The resulting clatter seemed to only exacerbate her fury.

“I’m a marriage counsellor, Sharon.” She stressed, leaning over the worktop. “My entire livelihood is helping people come to terms with their relationships and live out long, happy lives together in whatever way suits them best. All fucking day, I’ve had people laughing and sneering in my face, my own fucking clients telling me that if I can’t fix my own marriage, how the hell am I supposed to fix theirs?”

She swiped away her tears in a vicious motion. “Humiliated and ridiculed, all fucking day, because you made your goddamn think-piece into more of an attack on me than you did an attack on the system that you’re actually mad at. I just- I can’t take this anymore, Sharon.”

With mounting guilt, Sharon mustered as much disdain into her voice as she could. “Can’t take what? Enlighten me.”

“You!” Alaska’s eyes were shining, her chest heaving with the effort of yelling and crying all at once. “You’re spiteful, you’re mean, you’re bitter and nasty and cruel and I have noidea why that is, but I wish I fucking knew so I could something, anything! I’m not asking you to love me, Sharon, because I don’t think you have it in you to love. I’m just - fuck, I’m asking you to try and not be a cunt all the time because maybe if we could be respectful to each other, something could grow out of that. We could be friends. But you’re just fucking horrible.”

A thousand insults sprang to the forefront of Sharon’s mind, her brain working overtime to provide her with harsh, cutting remarks that could stop Alaska in her tracks and effectively win the argument. Each and every one of them halted at her tongue, disappeared, and Sharon deflated.

“I know.”

Alaska faltered. “You- what?”

“I’m a horrible, terrible person, Alaska. I don’t think about anyone else because the only person I can rely on is me, I don’t fucking want anybody else. A soulmate goes against absolutely everything that I stand for as a person.” Sharon found herself suddenly bearing her soul in front of her furious wife, more vulnerable than she had felt in a long time. “I should’ve thought about what this would all mean for you. But I don’t think about others, ever. I get hurt when I think about others.”

Little tear droplets clung to Alaska’s eyelashes, clumping them together as she regarded Sharon with a gaze far gentler than her previously stony glare. All at once, her anger seemed to dissipate.

“I’m never gonna hurt you, Sharon. At the end of all of this fucked up shit, I’ve got your back. I’m your soulmate.”

Sharon shook her head, faster than she meant to. “There’s no such thing.”

Alaska softened. “I read that true hatred can only come from something you once loved. I don’t know if that’s true, but-”

“I don’t want to get into it.” Sharon answered, quietly. “Can I just apologise and try and be better?”

Biting her lip, Alaska nodded infinitesimally and sighed. “Yeah… But if something’s hurting you, and I can help-”

“I can’t talk about it.” Sharon replied curtly, then apologised. “Sorry. I just… I can’t.”

“That’s okay.” Alaska promised, her teary eyes suddenly holding tender sadness in the place of her former rage. “Do you… Can I give you a hug? Just to… consolidate a truce, I guess, and give you a little bit of comfort.”

The words got stuck in Sharon’s throat, but it didn’t end up mattering. At the slightest inclination of her head, Alaska rushed forwards and wrapped her arms around Sharon, the both of them melting against one another in a moment of sheer exhaustion and weakness. There were tears beginning to well up in Sharon’s eyes, too, but she did her best to blink them away, determined not to cry in Alaska’s embrace.

It was nice… nicer than she’d expected. Alaska was warm, and welcoming, and at heart she was a good, loving person. Sharon was selfish and rude and petulant and she didn’t deserve the love, let alone the friendship, of someone like Alaska. But something about the tightness with which Alaska held onto Sharon told her that, somehow, this was someone who would give her infinite chances. Alaska had never waited for Sharon to fuck up, not like everyone else. She had gotten angry, and then her angry had been pushed aside completely in favour of a sweet embrace.

It felt so good to be held by someone. Sharon lifted her own arms to squeeze Alaska and buried her face, hoping that her wife couldn’t tell that she had started sobbing.

[mdelpin]

Gratsu Bingo 2019 Prompt: Play AO3 | FF.Net

Natsu Smiles

Summary: Gray was relieved when Natsu confesses that he's begun writing fanfiction as a way to help him not miss Gray so much while he's away at college. But as months go by and Natsu's smile begins to dim, Gray fears he might not be able to save Natsu from himself.

Trigger Warning: In later chapters, there will be mentions of cutting, and there will be talk of suicide. This chapter, however, is pure fluff.

Chapter 1

“Hey Babe,” Gray spoke into his phone, excited to finally get to talk to Natsu for the first time since he’d left for college. It had been a long week, full of orientations and the beginning of his training schedule.

“Gray!”

Gray could almost touch the excitement in Natsu’s voice, and he immediately became homesick. He could picture the way Natsu’s eyes lit up when he smiled, and it made him ache to touch him. They’d never been apart this long since they’d started dating a few years earlier.

“The one and only, I finally got a break to myself, and I couldn’t wait to hear your voice,” Gray gushed sounding like a lovelorn idiot and not caring one bit, “What have you been up to while I was gone?”

There was a pause and then a nervous chuckle, “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“No can do, but now I’m really curious, you been thinking about me?” Gray asked.

“Yeah, I miss you,” Natsu’s voice was sad, but he continued, “Do you remember Lucy?”

“Yeah sure, the blonde.”

“Mhm, well she suggested I try writing as a way to get my mind off you for a bit, so I did.”

“Writing, huh? That’s cool, what did you write about?”

“Remember that anime I was really into? I wrote a fanfiction about it, and I posted it online.”

“Fanfiction? I leave for a week, and you turn into a girl,” Gray teased, but he was secretly glad. He’d been worried that without him there to force Natsu to go out and socialize sometimes he’d just sit home and mope about him being gone. Writing sounded like a good thing.

“Shut up, guys can write fanfiction. A few people liked it, and they commented on it, it was kinda cool. They liked something I wrote, can you believe it?”

“Of course I can, you’ve always had an awesome imagination. Can I read it?”

“Sure, I posted it on fanfiction.net, my username is firedragon777. Anyway, tell me everything!”

So Gray did, he told him about Lyon, his roommate, who was also there on a hockey scholarship. He told him about the grueling practice schedule, and the terrible food, and what his room looked like but mostly he told him how much he missed him, and how he couldn’t wait to see him the first break he got. They hung up ten minutes later, feeling happy, but also frustrated at not being able to see each other.

Gray logged on to fanfiction.net and looked for Natsu’s story. He thought it was good, but what he loved the most was being able to hear Natsu’s voice in the words. He grinned and left a ridiculously sappy comment that would probably embarrass the hell out of Natsu when he read it and went to bed with thoughts of his lover floating through his tired brain.

xxx

School started almost before he was ready, and it was much harder than he’d expected. The added pressure of having to keep his GPA up while having to adhere to his team’s practice schedule kept him in constant stress. He wished Natsu were there with him, he always slept better with him in the bed.

They emailed back and forth, but their schedules didn’t mesh up for long phone conversations very often. Today had been a particularly grueling day for Gray, and he needed to hear Natsu’s voice, so he forced himself to take a break between practice and dinner and call him.

“Hey Babe, Is this a bad time?” Gray greeted as soon as the call was picked up.

“Hi, No, I was just looking up some stuff online,” Natsu said, sounding a bit distracted.

“Resorting to porn already?” Gray teased, knowing porn made Natsu uncomfortable.

“Gods no, that stuff is gross. I’ve been talking to a few other writers, and we’ve been thinking of starting a writing group on Tumblr, maybe Discord.”

“I have no idea what any of those are.”

“Me either, that’s why I’m looking into them. Discord sounds interesting. It’s like a chat thing for gamers, but it has video calling. Maybe you can get it too, and we can at least see each other from time to time.”

“That actually sounds like a great idea, I’d love to see you right about now. I’ll check it out once I get back to my room.”

“Rough day?”

“Yeah, any day without you is rough.”

“That was pretty smooth.”

Gray chuckled, “I have my moments. So the writing thing is still good?”

“Yeah, I’ve published a few other things.”

“Oh, man, I didn’t know. I’ll check them out later.”

“You can subscribe to me, then you’ll get emails whenever I post anything.”

“Okay. Damn, I have to go eat dinner before the dining hall closes for the night. I love you.”

“I love you too, bye!”

Gray hurried to eat, looking up Discord on his phone while he sat at the table. He decided to install it on his laptop when he got back to his room. He really wanted to see Natsu.

xxx

“Can you see me?” Natsu asked once he saw Gray’s image come up on the screen. He waved excitedly.

“Wow you weren’t kidding, he really does have pink hair.”

“Natsu, this is Lyon, my idiot roommate. Lyon, this is my boyfriend, Natsu. Now go away so I can enjoy seeing him for the first time in a month.”

With a wave Lyon left the room, closing the door behind him.

“Wow, his hair is really white,” Natsu couldn’t help but say.

“You know that’s ridiculous coming from you, right?” Gray rolled his eyes and just stared at his screen. “You’re looking good babe, wearing a bit more clothes than I was hoping for. I always picture you naked when we talk.”

Natsu laughed, “I bet you do, Zeref always leaves the fucking thermostat too cold, and he bitches if I move it.”

“He still working nights?

Natsu nodded, and Gray just wanted to reach out and touch him, what he wouldn’t give to be able to somehow go through the screen and just magically appear at Natsu’s house.

“You look tired, Princess,” Natsu noted, observing the dark rings around the other’s eyes.

“Yeah, they’ve been running us ragged. We have our first game soon. What about you? How’s school going?”

“It’s fine, nothing too hard yet. I’ve been working on the writing group. We have a blog, and I’m playing around, trying to learn how to create a website. We’ve been talking about organizing events too.”

“No offense babe, but that sounds like a lot of work. I thought you were in this for fun.”

“It is, and I am, but you know me, I like learning new things. It’s a little stressful though, there are a few people in there already, and they don’t all get along.”

“Natsu, don’t go in all crazy like you always do? If it gets to be too much just let go, okay?”

“It’ll be fine, you worry too much. Anyway, show me your room,” Natsu changed the subject, and Gray let him. He walked him around the room, showing him where he lived.

“I can’t wait for you to come here next year, we can get a little apartment off-campus, it’ll be awesome! I’ve already started asking which are the best buildings.”

“That does sound nice, I miss you sneaking in here to sleep while Zeref is at work.”

“We didn’t always sleep,” Gray reminded him with a wolfish grin.

“No, we didn’t,” Natsu smiled and held his hand up to the screen, and even though it was girly and he felt dumb, Gray did it back.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

To be continued...

A/N: I'm gonna be honest with you, I had no plans to write any more new stories for the Bingo but something happened last night and I just had to get some stuff out. So this was born late last night while not being able to sleep and stressed out beyond measure as to whether a friend would wake up again or not.

This story has nothing to do with anything ftlgbtales related (or any of my other blogs). This is more drawing on my limited experience in fandom and how it can tear you apart if you let it.

It will be in Gray's POV, mostly because I'm trying to understand how my husband might have felt when I first joined the Fairy Tail fandom. Think of it as my penance for doing that to him. The man is a saint.

I have not decided on the ending yet and I have no idea how many chapters it will be. I had originally meant to do a one-shot but this is where I left it 4AM and when I was rereading this morning I could not bear to spoil it with anything bad. Can't vouch the other chapters will be as fluffy.

[sonipanda]

And hello Fiore with another pair of really cool tights! I mean seriously who comes up with these designs as I totally love them! I think they’re so fresh, so original and they can be worn to work as well (if your place isn’t too strict!)

I decided against doing mine for work, and instead went for a more laid back but still dressy look.

The Spec

Colour: Black

Size: Small

Denier: 20

Materials: 88% Polyamide, 12% Elastane

Price: £6.95

Website: The Tight Spot – Fiore Fidele Seamed Zip Tights

10% Off Discount: Panda10 (can be used worldwide)

My Outfit

Now let’s create a girly look this time – very simple basic and does the job. I wore my oversized jumper paired with my platform boots. I thought it worked to just be strolling around town for the day and snug enough too!

My Deets

Jumper: H&M

Tights: Fiore

Boots: OnlyMaker

    The Review

From The Website: Fiore have captured the essence of the avant-garde with their quirky yet stylish back seamed zip tights that offer a modern variation on a classic theme. These gorgeous 20 denier back seamed tights will add a unique twist to your outfit, perfect for work wear or after hours. Featuring a sandal toe and a sheer to waist brief for a comfortable all day wear. Pair these seamed zip tights with a romantic dress or pleated skirt and heeled boots for a fashion-forward look. 88% Polyamide, 12% Elastane

20 Denier Backseamed Zipper Design Sheer to Waist Brief Sandal Toe

  The Packaging: as most of their new packaging, you will find the model doubled on the front of the packaging; one from afar and one close up showing off the design. The back goes into very little detail about the hosiery.

When you get in, you will find these wrapped around card and in their own plastic pouch. I got these out and examined as I do, and found that these already had small snags in them! I was dead upset, but what can I do hey? I am hoping it’s just them and I don’t end up finding any more!

  Getting Them On: so after finding those pretty little snags, I had to make sure I took my time, so they don’t end up becoming bigger or even worse – RUNS! Whilst trying to be careful, I also had to do the seams as well.

The good thing about these is that they start from the ankle, so you don’t need to line up from the soles, but god it’s still a mission to get these straight. as my legs are quite bent anyways, it was even harder – I wish I could just roll them in a straight line up the legs…

  On The Legs: so as you can see these are looking real nice with that semi-matte finish to them. I say semi as these have a small amount of shine to them; nothing too in your face but quite subtle.

The denier is great to help emphasise that back zipper design and also that thin band that goes around the front of the legs. I feel the design itself is around 30-40 denier; nothing too heavy so it’s kept as an all-rounder light pair.

The quality of these are ok; I find find these already snagged as soon as I took them out the packaging, so not much I could do there but be careful from thereon so I don’t end up creating more!

The fit of these are perfect; they fit my legs really well and there was a nice amount of stretch in them as well, so it allowed me to sit the design wherever I wanted it to (in terms of height). The feel of these are as most pairs; smooth, soft and really nice to touch. they give that lovely slim-leg look as well, which I quite like depending on your outfit.

The design itself is so unique; I love that a zip replaces a backseam and then turns it into this thigh piece after. I wasn’t too sure on the bands at the front to begin with, but I suppose when you’re looking face on, it seems intriguing and that’s when it’s your que to turn around and walk!

It’s something different, but in such a creative way.

  The Toes & Ankle: so the toes are not reinforced, but that shouldn’t be an issue if your nails aren’t too long or sharp. This also means it’s perfect to pair up with sandals or any other form of open toe or peep toe heels. I know I did boots with mine, but I would do heels with these.

These have plenty of wiggle room in them and no pressure is added around the toes either. Around the ankles, it’s a smooth flush finish.

  The Waistband: has been good to me today. It has held up well, and it hasn’t rolled down or been a pain in my sides! There is a nice amount of stretch in these, which I think is perfect for a good grip during the day.

    My Thoughts?

I would recommend these for design purposes more than anything. I felt the quality lacked a little this time, otherwise they would have made such a good pair! The fit and everything else was ok, but honestly I don’t see these lasting many wears!

Fiore Fidele Seamed Zip Tights And hello Fiore with another pair of really cool tights! I mean seriously who comes up with these designs as I totally love them!

[polygamyff]

19.

Things change with me so fast, like shit come out of nowhere and now I’m going to New York. I think I can make the scan but Robyn hasn’t once spoken to me, I am being calm about this because honestly Leon has been telling me all. She hasn’t be doing much but work and has been staying at her parents, she is hard headed and it’s killing me. It’s been a week, I am on this jet going to New York, the joys of New York. My dad is legit wanting me to do this interview, my dad is now meeting the Saudi Prince so I don’t need too, the blessing. My sister is on the jet with me, now I can see Malik and slap the back of his head. I’ve got such a nice tan and honestly, Nalah is bad for me. She has got me a fan base on social media, she done nothing but hype me up about trying these websites, I’ll pass on that, I would get my ass in trouble. I am so nervous about this interview, they going to rip my ass to shreds but my dad said everything is dealt with “Honestly, you got these girls saying in my comments, can they be your side bitch? These girls do not care about you being married, not going to lie. You already had girls at you, I just didn’t say anything. Imagine after the interview. Pussy galore” I groaned out “you know who’s pussy I want, quit playing” sitting back in the seat “she ain’t called you once, she mad, mad with you. But I understand and I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, she is a very beautiful girl and she is with you, poor that” kissing my teeth, she ain’t funny.

“So, you need to tell me Robyn’ place. I’m just going to see her, look she is having my niece and that’s our blood. I am doing you a favor here, we can go shopping and I will just explain to her. I mean look at this turn around, you’re going New York now, shit switches up quick. If you really can’t make it then I will step in for the scan. I think me and Robyn need to have some girly talk, about you of course but I’ll hype you up Maurice. She needs to be let into the family a little more, you know?” Nodding my head “can’t believe I’m letting you do this, I swear you better not make her hate me even more. Please buy her something, for me ok? I miss her so much and I’m jealous you are getting to see Robyn. Make sure you say hi to Bonita, the mini one” my sister gave me the stankest look ever “I don’t know what the hell you speaking about, I am just helping you out. She needs to be involved more, slowly bring her into the Davenport lifestyle and I’m the best person to show it” I might regret letting my sister do this but I am so sad, Robyn hasn’t text me or call me and then I won’t do it either “why are you always sad? Stop it, I feel like she needs to be just shown what you do, how you are. I promise I won’t be stupid” I will murder my sister, I really will.

I am leaving my sister to Robyn, she actually offered so who am I to decline such help. Robyn may come to her senses with everything which I am hoping happens, I can only pray that it happens. Malik is about to get a slap from me, I don’t know what he is doing here with the bullshit assistant issue. I told him to get a male and he hasn’t done it but he’s not wrong, women make a good assistant because they do get shit done. Walking up the steps to my hotel in New York “sir” the doorman opened the door for me “morning” yesterday I was just in Dubai, shit changes up for me so quick and now I’m here in New York. It’s always nice to see a busy hotel, this is what I like to see. Busy hotel means money, waving at the receptionist. Her old ass been working here since I was a child, one of the best “Malik? Is he in my office?” I asked her “yes, he’s interviewing someone” I had to laugh, he isn’t doing shit. That nigga done nothing I have told him too and I am still without an assistant. Walking down hall, using my office and shit like he owns the place just because I don’t come here anymore don’t mean I won’t make surprise visits. Knocking on the door before opening, Malik stared at me all wide eyed “sorry about this” who does he think he is, stepping inside “oh wow” looking at the female sat, she got her legs on show, some shirt open too “hi, I’m Maurice” holding my hand out to her “oh wow, hi” she said wow for the second time, shaking her hand “so proceed Malik, pretend I’m not here” I sat down on the spare seat next to the female.

I think I have made everything very awkward, Malik doesn’t know what to say and the girl keeps on messing up on her words which I find hilarious “so Isabella right?” I interrupted the conversation “do you think you will be able to handle my demands? For me to tell you what to do even at nights? Are you able to not fancy me? To keep your hands to yourself because you know, I am married” her face turned bright red “uhm yes, I am not here for anything else. I am always available” Nodding my head “you’re pretty” She is nice, she blushed looking away. Looking over at Malik he is hating me “so anyways, thank you for coming Isabella, that will be all” Malik cut it short, getting up from my seat “nice to meet you Isabella, Malik will be in contact” Shaking her hand, she stared at me in awe and it was crazy, I had her my hand back from her “yeah nice meeting you” Malik said all annoyed, I sat back in the seat. Malik looked at me all annoyed, he put a finger up at me as the door closed “nigga, you a flirt. You got a wife, girlfriend and now you looking for another one?” I snorted laughing “that is just me nigga, step ya game up. I ain’t looking for another girl. Trust me, I have enough on my plate with Robyn” acting like I want another female to drive me crazy, I’m good “you too in love anyways, why are you here” slouching down in the chair “I got a interview here, come to see you. Look at you doing fuck all, I keep on telling you I want a male. You keep bringing pretty women, stop” Malik chuckled “but it’s best that way, males are boring” he needs to get his act together quick.

Malik thinking he is boss, he is funny “so what have you exactly got for me? Have you done anything? Not even an assistant?” This is why I like him being close in regards to all this shit “erm, a few females?” Shaking my head at Malik “good one bro” Malik annoys my life, rubbing my eyes “so you just ignored what I said? Is that it? Please, listen to me. Isabella is a no, please” Malik finds it funny “you just don’t know how to stop flirting, that is you issue” he pointed “I am just that but my heart is with Robyn, I love her and that is it” Malik cooed out “I get that, ok. I will do better” the intercom in my office went off, Malik got ever so scared “Maurice, oh wait. He is walking in” I frowned “boys” I jumped at my dad’ voice, looking behind me. I closed my eyes sighing out seeing Naomi, turning my back rubbing my face “my son” feeling my dad hit my back “hey dad” lifting my head up “I made a quick stop before London, I am sad you didn’t come to Texas though. You not heard?” shaking my head “what is it?” did I do something now “Kellen is doing well, I just though you would like to know he is back in Texas with his wife. Speaking of wife, here is yours” this is so awkward “that is great dad” I smiled at him, I am so annoyed.

My dad has come because I didn’t know I am having the interview today, like now I mean what the hell. Walking behind my dad, Noami behind me. I don’t want this, he is wanting to show we are a unit, a family and I just want to hide. Seeing this big guy “T, my son. Maurice T” who the fuck is this, Mr fucking T “hi” my dad is crazy “it’s a little hectic out there, let’s go to the studio” this is a joke “I am not stepping out, nope not doing it. She can go, why is there paparazzi out there dad? What are you doing? This is not me! The fuck?” I shouted in the middle of the lobby “just walk” this is bullshit and he knows it.

I have been so unwell recently, I had to go off work sick but it doesn’t really affect my sick days because I am pregnant. Pulling the blanket up a little more over me “I am so glad you’re actually back with me, it’s been lonely making food for one person. It was horrible” Leon placed my water on the table “well I am back but ill, I think my mom had enough of me complaining about life” resting my head “well I will look after you friend” Leon touched my forehead “stop it” I chuckled, a knock at the door “who is that? You inviting niggas while I been gone?” I questioned Leon, I just want to watch TV and not be bugged about shit “it was just one guy, he was cute. He was bisexual and he saw your picture because I have a picture of me and you and he was like I would have sex with her, and I was like nigga she is taken and pregnant, I am not having that shit” Leon dragged open the door “you’re actually stupid Leon” I laughed to myself “I will watch it, don’t worry” my eyes bulged out seeing Nalah, my mouth fell open “well hello to you too” she just walked in and Leon looks confused “yes ok, just calm down” she disconnected the call “oh hi Robyn, hope you don’t mind. I came to see you, are you ok?” I am just staring at the fact Maurice’ sister is in my apartment “erm fine” I stuttered a little “can you just change the channel to CNBC, Maurice is going to be on there” Nalah made herself comfortable.

I am trying to get my head wrapped on the fact Nalah is in my apartment and now this “now we have an exclusive interview, Davenport Hotels, once was a hotel in Texas ended up being a popular place for people to go too. They now have just over a thousand hotels around America and Europe, their portfolio is impeccable, the Davenport family name has been a name that took the hotel business by storm, then they young CEO took over, his father well known for opening the tallest hotel building in New York. Which took everything by storm, now his son Maurice Davenport has stepped in” the camera moved “welcome to the studio” my heart melted, look at him. His smile, my baby. I feel emotional now “thank you” look at his overbite gleaming “he still has his blonde hair” I said smiling “he cute, isn’t he!?” Leon spat, I have missed his face so much and he has a tan look at him “he’s such a goof ball” Nalah said “it’s a pleasure to meet you, I have heard of you I mean we all have been and heard of Davenport hotel. To meet the man himself, the man to build a different style because there was a point where it was touch and go?” that interviewer is smiling too much at Maurice “uh yes, before I was given the role. Before my dad said to me, look son. Here are the hotels, do you. It was declining, we had to change it. Straight away, I did that. Shares went up” that bitch needs to stop staring mad hard “you look so disgusted, look at you!” Leon said laughing, I can’t help it because she is staring at my man.

He is doing so well in this interview, I am proud “so what is next for you? The next steps for Davenport Hotels” she asked “we are opening new hotels next year, you will be looking at a new hotel everyday, we are branding with other hotels, I can’t say who with but it will knock any competition. When I mean branding, I mean our name will be on it. We are taking over what we can. Just before the New Year, Dubai. Our first hotel there. We will still have that choice for customer, we don’t just cater to wealth. Customers like that we cater to every need” I really don’t like her, what the fuck is her name now “that sounds promising, am I going to see you on the top ten on Forbes next?” Maurice laughed “possibly, I just take it as it comes” he shrugged “well I do enjoy the fact I always get free wifi, don’t change that” she pointed “would I ever? That is something I would keep” Maurice is doing a fake white laugh, it’s ugly “he is ugly for that laugh” I said “he really is you know” Nalah agreed “what do you want to be known as, what do you think your legacy will be? Is it just hotels or do you want to broaden that?” he does actually look so sexy “real estates, there is a few in New Jersey and some in Texas” he is doing too much, this is why he is busy “that is something you are doing with your wife, she is heir to one of the biggest real estates known to America. Both of you together, that could create something big. You have both been together for a long time now, well five years” Maurice looks so uncomfortable “well I am trying to do this with Davenport, I am trying to be independent with this. When you married, it’s just something on paper” Nalah gasped “but yeah, it’s something she does help me with. We do help each other” all of a sudden I got bored.

“Before that interview he was calling me about Naomi being there but anyways, anyone want a shopping spree. I have Maurice’ card” Leon and I just looked at each other “I am supposed to be ill from work, well I am” I mumbled looking over at her, she is so beautiful. So fresh skinned, stress free and always full of diamonds, she is spoilt “you really got his card?” Leon asked “oh yes I do, I bullied him for it. Treats on me” Leon shrieked out “oh my god, you my favourite, wait. Can I come?” he cheering without knowing “sure, a friend of Robyn’ why not” Leon clapped “let’s go shopping” Leon ran off to his room, a lot is happening right now “I think I should stay here” this is weird “what do you do?” Nalah asked “residency, well I am near my next stage of being a surgeon” Nalah stared at me all wide eyed “oh wow, that is amazing. How did my stupid brother get you, wow. That is so good. But I honestly want you to come, I came here for you” I look terrible “I am not well” making up excuses here “love sick?” Nalah openly said and I couldn’t help but laugh “you’re funny, how come you’re here? I fully expected Maurice, is he in New York?” Nalah nodded her head “it’s weird, like it can change so quick. We was in Dubai yesterday and now I am here. I came because I want to get to know the woman that has made my brother look like a lost puppy in Dubai, and the woman that is going to be the mother to my niece. It’s time you know us more and for me to get to know you” this sounds like a lot of talking, I didn’t expect this at all and I am in shock.

[purplesurveys]

474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.

[kurokonotext]

My Friend Needs URGENT Help

Hey there, lads, lasses and non-binary masses. It’s me, after 84 years. My plan was to vanish into thin air and disappear into a cave of shame and guilt for abandoning this blog but this is really a desperate situation. I may leave links to my stuff at the end but I’m not here for myself. 

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO READ THROUGH THIS. IT’S REALLY URGENT.

My friend really needs help. She’s Portuguese like me and I’ve known her for about 16 years. She fled an abusive household at the age of 18 (2010). She had to endure an abusive mother, who would belittle her at any given chance and beat her up for no reason (with her hands, with broomsticks, throwing objects at her) saying that she would never have any friends because she was fat and fat people have no friends (she developed bulimia because of that which remains rather untreated because there’s no money for treatment and no support for mental illness unless you’re “dangerous” in this country) and making fun of her for liking girly stuff (which is incredibly weird, because she’s a cisfemale). Her brother would back her mother up and her father had Chronic Depression (as a side note, it’s ironic that her brother would say that depressed people were weak when his own father had that illness) and he wasn’t home often because he couldn’t stand his wife and he couldn’t stand the treatment his daughter was receiving. Her mother most certainly had Schizoid Personality Disorder, because my friend has it too and that tends to be genetic more often than not. Her mother was involved with Dark Magic and stuff like that (I understand if you don’t believe in it) but for a young child it was terrifying. The final thing her mother did was say she would rather see her dead than with another woman when she came out.

That’s the story in very broad lines.

She told me all this about two weeks ago after all these years because we lost touch for a while since we’re birds of a feather and tend to isolate when shit hits the fan. She’s been having it rough ever since 2010 because she never finished high school and has been jumping from shit job to shit job ever since. Her lovers have all been shitty and treating her like shit because despite all the shit she endured, this girl is a goddamn angel and she always puts everyone else before her and does everything for the people she likes, which could be okay, if she doesn’t seem to be under some sort of curse and always lands shitty girlfriends (I know, it’s not just cismen that can be trash, ciswomen can also be trash). The latest one is also mentally ill and has Borderline Disorder along with Depression and I’m not going to get into many details about what the disorder is about, but basically she’s not that bad of a person but she is very irresponsible and that’s what brings me to the point of this post and why this is so important and urgent. This girlfriend (who is now just ‘friend’ because they broke since it was clear that it wouldn’t work like that) had episodes and had to quit many jobs because of that to get some form of treatment (which in Portugal is still very hard to get if you’re not rich because there’s little to no awareness about Mental Illness and people tend to consider you either crazy or an attention whore or lazy and I’m sure that’s relatable to many of you, unfortunately). She’s currently in France to work as an Au Pair but she hasn’t gotten any money for her work yet and had an episode (because she didn’t take her medication with her and had no money to buy them there)  and they’re still in good terms and share the same flat.

However, my friend is currently unemployed and if she doesn’t pay her rent until the 8th, she will most definitely be evicted from the flat with nobody to turn to because she’s not on speaking terms with her relatives and extended family and her flatmate’s family can’t help either because they’re also poor and have helped as much as they could in the past. My friend and I live far away and she has her furniture and all stuff to take with her and absolutely no money and I really feel powerless and hopeless for her. I’ve been trying to help as I can for the last couple days but there’s really nothing much I can do because I’m also broke (but I live with my mum still and am still studying and shit, so despite my Little Issues, I’m about somehow) and she has no friends’ places she can crash at indefinitely. So, after this long ass post, which I hope you read and thank you dearly if you did, I want to share a couple links where you can send some form of support, if you can. Everything is welcome and equally appreciated! She needs around €500 (around $581) until the 8th to pay for the rent and avoid the streets. So, really, any help is very, very welcome

She’s mostly a cosplayer who makes her own costumes and takes part in competitions and she enjoys acting and drawing, even though she lacks confidence and has the aforementioned problems. Her art is mostly traditional and she enjoys drawing androgynous male characters (and she’s got shit on this website for it because apparently she can’t draw ‘men’ in ‘feminine’ clothes and positions :) ) In short, she’s one of my oldest friends and one of the strongest girls I know. She’s super talented and super hard-working and maybe I’m biased and whipped but this is genuinely how I feel. So, here are all the links to her stuff:

Instagram

Ko-fi Page

Paypal

Tumblr (she doesn’t post much because of the hate she got)

Twitter

And I guess that’s all. Please, don’t hesitate to contact me for further queries. I have her permission to make the whole story public and she’s really weary about this (I only knew about it all a couple weeks ago even though we’ve been friends since forever, so you see how she feels about all this stuff. I only knew about the mental illness but not in full detail) and it’s really a desperate situation. So please, if you can help her out, no matter how small the donation. Please do. Follow her if you appreciate her effort and work if there’s nothing else you can do and reblog this post, so that more people can see it and possibly help.

Thank you again for your time and I’m sorry I’m suddenly turning up after so long only to ask for help. I wouldn’t do this if it wasn’t so urgent and important. So please, I’m literally on my knees praying to everything out there that all goes well and at least this community will be understanding and helpful. Once again, thank you for your time and attention.

(Here’s my twitter account because it’s easier to reach me there in case you want to ask something. Yes, I know I’m into kpop too now but that wasn’t the reason why I left this blog. You can ask me about that too, I don’t mind talking, I just don’t want to clog this post even more.)

[deathtouch]

💛 femfeb day 23 | my femfeb masterpost 🧡 xposted → ao3 | dw | pf.io 💖Pharah/Sombra | 2k | Explicit 🧡 Panties, Underwear Kink, Women's Underwear, Masturbation, Scents & Smells, Alternate Universe 💛 Anon requested more panty kink. Fareeha buys some used underwear from the internet.

“Hey,” Jesse said as he came in the front door. “You got, uh, some kind of mail or something.” Fareeha looked up from her phone, gazing down the length of the couch she was stretched out on to see Jesse kick the door shut behind him. His hands were full. He had a plastic bag from the convenience store on the corner with beer in it, his keys dangling from one of his fingers, a large package carefully balanced atop both forearms, and a pile of mail on top. “Huh?” Fareeha didn’t remember ordering anything. Well. One thing, but there was no way it could have gotten here so soon. “Yeah.” Jesse set the big box on the side table and sifted through the rest of the mail, keys jingling and plastic bag rustling. “From some girlie, it looks like.” Fareeha spotted the golden-brown padded envelope just as Jesse picked it up. She sat up at once making the springs in the couch groan and pop. Holy shit. She had only placed the order two days ago. It was already here? She should have known better than to act interested though. Jesse went from mildly curious to dangerously intrigued. He made a show of holding the envelope out of Fareeha’s grasp when she rose up off the couch to go grab it. “Who’s sending you letters with little hearts drawn on?” He asked, smirking. “You got a girlfriend? Does Ana know about this?” “Hand me my mail, little man,” Fareeha said darkly. He knew better than to incur her wrath. She’d suplex him into the carpet and twist him up in a submission hold without a second thought. Jesse waffled for a moment longer before handing it over. He didn’t even do that obnoxious thing of pulling it back at the last second either, he let Fareeha take it without any further ado. He would be asking questions later, for sure, but Fareeha was too excited right now to care. She looked the envelope over with growing excitement. There were in fact little hearts accenting the address, drawn on with light blue and bright pink gel pen. She was kind of surprised. She wasn’t expecting such a personal touch... When Fareeha glanced up she found Jesse still standing there staring at her. He was a decent roommate but he sure as hell could be nosy sometimes. She needed to get him off her back for a while. “Give me an hour and I’ll order take out for dinner,” She offered. That got Jesse’s attention. “You paying?” “Yeah, whatever,” She was already heading down the hall to her room. “Save a beer for me.” The promise of free food would keep him complacent. She’d have just enough time to herself. For good measure she locked the door to her bedroom and went to drag the hamper in front of it, creating a barricade just in case Jesse decided he wanted to barge in. When she was sure she wouldn’t be disturbed, Fareeha went to sit down on her bed. She looked at the envelope again and took a moment to appreciate the girlish slant to the handwriting, the way her name looked, the priority shipping label offsetting the personal elements. She was getting all excited already, a twist of delight and pleasure spiking deep in the pit of her stomach. Eager to get to what was inside, she tore one end open, ripping away a jagged edge. Fareeha upended the envelope, dumping the contents out onto the mattress in front of her. A flutter of things fell out. The biggest, most important item was wrapped in pale purple tissue paper. There was a folded piece of scrap paper too, blue lined like it had been torn from a notebook. Fareeha also noticed a tiny sticker; a glittery pink and blue skull, no bigger than a penny. Last but not least there was a photo, a genuine polaroid. She wasn’t expecting all this extra stuff. The sticker was cute and all, but she really wanted to know what could possibly be written on the letter. She picked it up, unfolding it curiously. The same blue gel pen was used to write a short, sweet note. Hi, Fareeha I hope you enjoy these purple panties. I wore them for twenty-four hours straight just for you. I worked out in them four an hour this morning and even masturbated while wearing them. The vibrator I used was purple too. 💜 There’s a pic of me wearing them for you to look at. xoxo Sombra Fareeha could feel her face heat up as she read. She knew that Sombra had worn them for a full day, worked out in them, and rubbed one out while wearing in them. That’s what she’d paid for, after all. It was so filthy and raunchy to read about, though. It made her want to squirm. She liked the feeling. Next, Fareeha picked the picture up to look at it. She had already seen a photo of Sombra, the one in the corner of her website’s main page where she was smirking over her shoulder in a thong with most of her ass on display. This picture was different. It was private, in a way. A photo just for Fareeha to see, and not thousands of online users. Sombra was indeed wearing a pair of purple panties in the polaroid, but that was about it. Her chest was bare, tits out. Fareeha held the picture closer, noticing the details of pierced nipples. She had tattoos too, a skull on her ribs and bio-mechanical patterns framing the shape of her hips. There were even tattoos on the shaved part of her head. She was so pretty. Fareeha couldn’t believe she had a pair of panties from a woman this goddamn hot. That was the most important thing, wasn’t it? The panties. Fareeha found herself swallowing reflexively, throat going dry at the thought of them. She set the photo aside and went to take the purple paper wrapped item into her hands. She turned it over and found another skull sticker taping the edges of the tissue paper together. She carefully unsealed the sticker and unwrapped the paper. Within, she found the used panties neatly folded and packaged inside not one, but two plastic bags. That way the scent would stay fresh. Fareeha appreciated the forethought. She was almost hesitant to open the plastic bags. She didn’t want to ruin how perfect all this was… And yet? She couldn’t help herself. Fareeha unsealed the first bag, and then the second, thoughtlessly holding her breath. She took the panties out, excited by the softness of the fabric. She wished she had more restraint or the discipline to take the time and enjoy them but… she didn’t. She really didn’t. She balled the panties up, brought them to her face, and breathed in deep. She fell back, sinking into her pillows. God, it was so good. So much better than she ever could have imagined it to be. The scent was still as strong as it would have been if Sombra had just taken them off and handed them over. It was so pure, so raw, so *real*. The only other way she could enjoy a smell like this was if she buried her face between Sombra’s legs and ate her out. The scent, slightly spicy and ripe in the best of ways, went straight through Fareeha lighting her up with pleasure. Again, her insides twisted up, a curl of excitement that she felt deep down within her. With one hand she held the panties to her face, still breathing them in, and with the other hand she slid her fingers beneath the waistband of her sweatpants. Damn Jesse being home, she couldn’t use her vibrator without him hearing, but she had her fingers and the scent of Sombra to carry her through. She slipped her hand into her own underwear and found herself wet already. With her eyes closed, steady breathing in Sombra’s smell, she began touching herself. She was already so turned on by all of this. The picture, the note telling her just how dirty these panties were, the softness of the fabric, the divine smell. The feel of her fingertips sliding over her sensitive clit was just secondary to everything the used panties had to offer. It didn’t take long at all for her to get off. She was already half way there, and all she needed were a few circular strokes of her fingers to push her over the edge. Fareeha found herself arching up off the bed, the twisting feeling deep inside of her squirming around, brightening, becoming so intense that it burst in a thrilling climax. She came hard and fast, enjoying every second of it. She chased the feelings of pleasure, stroking her clit until it grew oversensitive. Only then did she collapse back onto the mattress. She pulled the panties away from her face enough to catch a breath of fresh air. When she opened her eyes, it was like there were spots in her vision. She hadn’t had an orgasm that good in a long time. Thank you Sombra. Fareeha wasn’t done yet, though. She wanted to enjoy these panties to the fullest. After laying there for a while to catch her breath, she moved to wriggle out of her sweatpants. She kicked them off, flinging them to the floor with a flick of her foot. Her own underwear, boring grey briefs, followed suit in a similar fashion. With a perverse feeling of delight lighting her up again, she decided to put Sombra’s dirty panties on. She carefully threaded her feet through the holes and pulled the purple underwear up over her calves and then her thighs. She had to push her hips up off the bed in order to pull the panties into place. The usual delicious twist of pleasure struck her, more intense now that she was still raw from her first orgasm. It was so… wrong. Wrong in all the right ways. The underwear was used, worn by some other woman for hours. Fareeha shouldn’t be wearing these, but that was the thrill of it. It was taboo. It was obscene. She loved it. She reveled in the filthiness of it all. This time when she reached down to touch herself, she didn’t bother slipping her fingers beneath the waistband of the panties. Instead, she stroked herself through the satiny fabric. The sensations were muted this way, almost dull, but if she applied enough pressure and moved her fingers just right, it felt damn good. It took longer this time. She snatched up the picture of Sombra and stared at it, biting her lip as she masturbated. She thought of Sombra wearing this underwear at the gym, maybe riding one of those stationary bikes. Sweating during her work out with the bike seat grinding her sweat into the fabric. She thought of Sombra rubbing one out with these on. Maybe she had used her fingers too, at the start, before getting her vibrator involved. Fareeha’s breath went shaky; she was getting close. She could feel the heat and the delicious twisting sensation of her orgasm winding its way through her body. She felt it deep in the pit of her stomach, and then deeper still, rushing hot and bright towards her clit where she was stroking herself. Again, she came, a burst of white-hot pleasure. She had to stop herself from gasping too loud or crying out. When it was all said and done, she relaxed and went still. Her chest rose and fell with labored breath as she stared up at the ceiling. She never wanted to take these panties off. Not ever. Well, maybe she’d take them off if only to find out what her scent and Sombra’s smelled like all mixed up and mingled together. The thought put a smile on her face. A knock on her door made her jump. “Amari, I’m hungry.” Jesse called to her. Sighing deeply, Fareeha sat up. “Alright, alright. Hold your horses.” She went to fish her sweatpants up off the floor, hurriedly pulling them back on. She didn’t even think about taking the used panties off and replacing them with clean ones. It wasn’t until she had moved the hamper, unlocked the door, and stepped out into the hallway that she really thought about what she was wearing. She found herself blushing again. She knew no one else would be able to tell what she had on underneath her clothes… but what would they think of her if they knew? “So, you gonna tell me what your girlfriend sent you in the mail?” Jesse asked when Fareeha appeared in the living room. Sombra definitely wasn’t her girlfriend, she was just some girl selling used underwear online. It’s not like Fareeha could tell Jesse that, though, or what she’d gotten in that envelope. She went to grab the take-out menu off the fridge where it was stuck to the door with a magnet. “Not in a million years,” She told him. It was her dirty little secret. Literally.

i’m taking femslash february suggestions year round send requests or prompts ➝ here follow me on twitter ➝ here thanks for reading ✩°｡⋆

[sakuwriteshere]

The Unknown Season - Chapter 1: Awakening

Summary:  Reader went to bed just like any other night but once the reader wakes up she’s not in her bedroom anymore. (I know it's pretty lame but I don't want to give away the plot yet)

Pairing: Dean WinchesterxReader, Sam WinchesterxReader (friendship)

Warnings: None I can think about. Swearing maybe?

Words count: 1413

A/N: I know this plot had been use too many times already, but this idea came up one day and wouldn’t disappear, so I had to write it down. The story is set up after season 12 but it's kind of AU because Castiel is still here and the only fact that I kept from the season finale is Crowley's death.

English isn’t my first language and it’s been way too long since I wrote in English so I deeply apologize for any grammar mistake/error.

Last thing; this is going to be a series but I’m not sure of what to think of it so please feel free to give me any constructive feedback.

Disclamer: I do NOT own Supernatural or any character of the show which are the CW company properties. This work is for free entertainment only.

                                                 Chapter 1: Awakening

It was the end of the day at last. You hated Mondays and not only because it was the beginning of the week. It meant that you started another long and suffering week of work. You hated your job. Well, to be honest you enjoyed your job as a waitress, it was the customers you didn't like. The grabby customers. What was so sexy in wearing an apron anyway? You swore men would only be thinking with their lower brain when they got a glimpse of the little attire.

You threw yourself in your couch and sighed heavily. You took off your shoes and tucked your legs under you. The house was silent which felt good after the whole noisy night at the restaurant. You enjoyed the silence for a moment, closing your eyes and hoping the migraine you had for almost an hour would leave you alone. Half an hour had passed, and you decided to take a shower before relaxing in your living room.

The hot water felt great and you realized that the migraine left, indeed. A good point since you wanted to have a glass of red wine before going to bed. Once you got out of the bathroom you put on your pajamas which consisted of a pair grey shorts and tee with the big face of Hello Kitty in the middle of it with a slight touch of pink making the whole thing a bit girly. You took a wine glass and poured a generous amount of the red liquid then went to sat on your couch again. You grabbed your laptop and started it. You checked your e-mails then went to your favorite website to indulge your guilty pleasure: reading fanfics.

You loved reading. Your living room walls consisted of bookshelves full of books. Fantasy, thrillers, romantic novels, ... You read everything, you weren't picky. If the story was interesting, the plot believable and the characters realistic it was enough for you.

You picked a Supernatural fanfiction, the hiatus having the best of you. You couldn't wait to see what would happened in the next season and thanks to the wonderful community of fans, you had something to entertain you before the next season premiere.

As you felt your eyes closing and the words in front of you becoming a blurry mess, you checked the clock on the wall and realized that it was already 3 in the morning. You had a late shift the next day so it didn't bother you so much, knowing you could sleep late in the morning. You closed your laptop and dragged your feet into your bedroom. It didn't take too long before you fell asleep.

In the middle of the night you woke up, consciousness poking your sleepy brain, but you didn’t open your eyes. You felt dizzy and your you became aware of the sweat in your lower back and the back of your neck. You ignored it and fell asleep once again.

When you finally opened your eyes the next morning, your hand patted the side of the bed, and strange habit you had for as long as you could remember without knowing the reason behind it. It was empty, as always. However, the bedsheets didn't feel like the ones you were used to. It felt like soft silk and you knew your bedsheets were made of cotton. The air around you felt heavy and a strange scent hit your nose: dust. It felt like the room had been closed for a long time. You sat up on your bed and that was when reality hit you: You weren't in your room.

You couldn't see a single thing inside the room since it was pitch black which was the problem, you knew it was morning time so where was the sunlight? More importantly where was your window? Your heart started to beat faster as panic rose inside of you. With a trembling hand you patted around you in hope of finding a lamp next to you. You sighed as your trembling fingers brushed against a button and once you pushed it a soft light let you see where you were.

You weren't in your room, of that you were sure now. The few old furniture around you weren't yours and your eyes stared at the boring walls. Yep. No windows.

You jumped from the bed, your brain thinking about hundred scenarios. You've drank too much the previous night and went with a strange guy. Or you've been kidnapped in the middle of the night by a strange guy and now were his prisoner. And so, on and on. Whatever you were thinking it was always a bad thing. So much for being an optimistic woman.

So why the room felt kind of familiar?

Without thinking; your hand reached for the doorknob. You knew it was useless, the psycho who kidnapped you wouldn't leave the door open, but you had to try.

It opened.

Well, your psycho was an idiot. Or maybe that was what he wanted you to believe?  Maybe he let it open so you could try to escape and he would chase you? That was the only explanation you could think of and despite the fear you had to try to escape anyway. You opened the door slowly, silently praying that it wouldn't make any noise.

You took a deep breath before heading inside a dim corridor, your bare feet sliding softly against the cold tiles. It looked old and again you couldn't suppress that strange feeling as everything around you felt somehow familiar.

You walked slowly through the long and scary corridor, hoping no one could hear your heart beating hard against your chest.

"What the..." you murmured as you ended in a big room.

It wasn't feeling familiar anymore. You recognized this place perfectly well, despite the fact you've never been there before.

The bookshelves, the long white columns, that big wooden table lightened with lamps, those three little stairs that lead to another room, you were in the...

"...Bunker?"

Your head snapped when you heard a creaking sound. They really needed to put some oil on those hinges, you thought. Footsteps followed, two pairs of footsteps to be exact and you were frozen in place. That couldn't be, you must be dreaming. Right a dream. A very vivid one.

"I'm just saying it doesn't need to be slimy fluids you know?" You would recognize that voice anywhere. It became louder as the seconds ticked.

Your eyes wide and your breath stuck in your throat, you realized that Dean Winchester stood at the top of the stairs, looking behind him, certainly looking at...

"Sammy, are you listening?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, Dean." Sam answered his brother in a tired voice. He put a hand on his older brother's shoulder and was going to add something when his eyes fell on something in the middle of the room. The features on his face changed as his grip tightened on Dean's shoulder. The older Winchester looked in the same direction and furrowed his brows. The three of you stared at each other for a few seconds, your face mirroring your disbelief while there was only shock on theirs.

"Hey!" Dean shouted as he grabbed his gun from behind his back and pointed at you.

You were startled when you heard him shout but you still couldn't move. You watched them climbing down the stairs guardedly, both pointing at you with their guns.

"I said 'Hey!'" Dean repeated as he came closer but stopped when he was at a safe distance.

Of all the things you could say at this moment, the only words that came out from your mouth were "You did. Twice. Good for you."

You giggled slightly, remembering the quote from that famous episode. At least that confirmed once thing; you were dreaming.

The brothers shared a look without lowering their guns as you started to laugh. You always laughed when you panicked. Finally, your limbs started to move again and you grabbed your head with your hands as everything around you started to swirl. You felt a cold sweat in the back of your neck and felt dizzy.

Sam's grip tightened on the trigger of his gun as you started to move, your laughter subsiding; but before you had the time to say anything more he saw your eyes rolling back and your body falling heavily on the ground as you felt into oblivion.

Chapter 2

[alliebruns-blog]

The Namibia/Panama Crossings Part Two. The Desert, Day 5

DAY 5 Conception - The wreck of the Eduard Bohlen - 9 miles (AKA Look Mum, I Crossed A Desert!)

I wake up with a HANGOVER because I am not used to drinking wine anymore. Just a baby hangover, but a baby one when you have a desert to finish crossing is still a pain in the arse. Coffee and salt tabs for breakfast plus a bit of granola - and we are off. Darren is fresh as anything, so he whizzes ahead to try and catch Dani and Jim. I realise that I am going to be alone for a lot of today. Not sure if that’s a good thing. I don't feel mentally strong, but there you go. It is what it is.  That’s life. 

It’s a grey morning and I struggle to find the footprints that Dani and Jim have left for us. The dunes have more of less flattened out now - they are more undulating than mega frustrating, and it’s cold, because we are heading to the coast - I have 2 layers on. It feels like a different life to the one we were living yesterday. I trek away on my own, with my own weird thoughts. They are thoughts of pride, mixed with the inability to accept what I have done. Feelings of ‘who the fuck cares’ and feelings that I should try and keep myself together. I want to sit and cry. 

The irony of runnable terrain when you are totally exhausted...

I trot over a small dune, and suddenly I can see and smell the sea. It’s almost too much for me to take in. It’s almost over. The smell ignites my childhood memories of holidays, and the mist is rolling in across the flat sand. It’s beautiful and bleak. 

I keep trotting on - not wanting it to end, but willing it to end at the same time. What will I do when I get to wreck? Will I cry? No, I can’t cry. I just want to cry at the moment. I am all out of snacks and everyone is ahead of me. I am last. Always last. 

Old German mining railway left to rot on the skeleton coasts salt plains

The sea is not getting any nearer, but I come over a dune towards some plains. The salt plains. They are wet and cold and salty. Do what they say on the tin. The sand drops away under my feet and it’s more like an estuary than a desert. In front of me, is what looks like water, but I have learnt not to trust the desert. Turns out that this time it IS water. My feet are very wet and my shoes are full of grit.  

Seem fine to walk on right? 

NOPE. 

The water gets deep quickly and is running fast. It has dead fish in it. It’s about calf deep now, and my radio comes into action. It’s Jim. He has already crossed it. He says it will take me 45 mins at least. I look at it, and, being mental and not being able to judge distance, think “nah, that’s ten mins”. It takes me 90 minutes to cross the fast flowing estuary and get to the support vehicle. I have no pictures or video of it, as my hands and phone were too wet and frankly, I was too exhausted to film it. 

One of the things I remember vividly about this trip is those 90 mins. It was so hard. Lifting your tired legs and feet out of wet, deep mud.  Feeling like you are going backwards, and having nobody to talk to. The support vehicle seemed like it was getting further and further away. It was horrible - really horrible. It’s something that in times of stress I will always recall. Relentless forward progress. You will get there. I stood and shouted the word ‘FUCK’ many, many times at the water. I hated it. 

Back on firmer land with unidentifiable dead shit. 

Eventually, I made it to firmer sand and got to the vehicle. I said very little to Danny and David. I wanted to change my socks - I had 3 miles to go, so really no need. I felt mental, and probably looked and talked like I was. My shoes were filled with grit and water and I did my best to dust them off. Danny and David told me it was only 5km to the end. I put my head down and started marching. And then I started to cry. 

I didn’t want to cry at the end. I wanted people to think I was cool and casual, not overwhelmed by what we had done. I don’t want people to think I am ‘girly’ or ‘weak’. So I cried on my own. the irony of this is that crying doesnt make you weak - it helps you remain strong. I know this now - I couldn’t compute it at the time.  

Vertebrae from a whales spine, the skeleton coast. 

I kept on marching, I wanted to see the things I had come to see. The whale bones that litter the skeleton coast. Old wine bottles, washed up from ships that met their fate here. I saw a lot of it. Jackals coming out of their holes to chase down baby seals. Pieces of wood and metal from vessels long gone. It was bleak, astonishing and humbling. A world lost in sand and time. 

Wine bottles in the sand 

Then, in the distance, I see it. The wreck of the Eduard Bohlen. He has sat there since 1909 when he was wrecked in thick fog. The Bohlen completely symbolises the loneliness of the Skeleton Coast. It’s remains lie rusting in the sand, partially buried. A home for jackals, bones of their prey scattered around the hull.  A symbol of the possible future of mankind. Once full of wonder and promise - now a wreck forgotten and alone. It’s a lot for me to think about. I think about how transient everything is. 

Whale bones hidden in sand

Whale bones covered in sand. Wreck of the Bohlen in the background.

I try and run, but my brain tells me no. I am done. Exhausted. I take in what is going on around me and march it in. Nothing here but the remnants of a once promising and golden future, that the people of the 1900’s would have been proud of. Old glass bottles against dead whale bones. All preserved, but meaning nothing now to the people they once meant the world to. 

But I’ve done it. I have fucking done it. I have become the first woman to cross the Namib Desert on this course from east to west. I hold it together, but the team form an arch with their hands, and I run through it. It’s over. They know I have been crying, they just don't say it. 

An emotional little Bailoid tries to hold it together...

The finish line

I am given a beer, and I take a minute to calm myself down. The feelings that I have are not really for writing here, mainly because I don't know how to write them. I am both proud and empty, I have forgotten the hard bits. 127 miles through one of the most hostile environments on earth. I am tired, so tired.  Race to the Wreck. I have done it. 

Knackered

Ghost ship.

Time is running out to leave - we have a 7 hour drive out of here. I don't have much time to get myself together. I eat lunch, have a quick run around the wreck and wish I could stay here for a week investigating it all.  We get in the fun bus. We’re all very, very quiet. The drive back is one of the scariest thing about this trip. The fun bus going up and down dunes at what feels like vertical angles is terrifying. We pass a dead humpback whale on the shoreline, more wrecks, dead seals and hopeful jackals. It takes seven hours of driving across those dunes, but then, suddenly, we hit tarmac and we are back in the human world. 

Thats what a dead humpback whale looks like then...

More wrecks on the way out

Some casual driving on the way back..... FFS

We have one night in a hotel before we fly to Cape Town the following day. This journey is not over. One days travel and then its Man vs Table Mountain (or the Cape Town Three Peaks Challenge of Death as I have snappily renamed it). And that’s before we travel to Panama to attempt the double traverse in a journey that fundamentally changes everything for me.

So thanks for reading the first instalment of this ridiculous trip. If you want more info on the race it’s on sale now and I am happy to talk to  anyone about it - just get me on the website or social media. 

Next up on the blog: Man Vs Table Mountain

THANK YOU….. 

RAT RACE CREW

Massive thanks to Jim and Rob and the whole team at Rat Race for once again trusting me to trial one of their ridiculous ideas. This is a hard event, a really hard event, but totally achievable and I am honoured to have been part of the Test Pilot team and hope I have done you proud. I would recommend this to anyone who has ever sought to do more than just a desert multi-day. This is the real deal - an immersion in culture and a world first. And it’s on sale now, kids! Click here for details.

Thanks to Dani Brodie for representing the female side of endurance challenges with me - this was her first ever multi-day event - no pressure then, throw yourself in at the deep end why not? She handled it with style and enthusiasm, and in the end totally nailed the whole route. A total pleasure to be with, she provided some much needed female company on those nights round the brai, and I am so glad I got to spend this time with her. 

Handsome Pete Rees for making me laugh with his fear of pretty much everything, his health and safety lectures (NO IBUPROFEN BEFORE FOOD!) and providing us with top notch pictures and video that makes us look a lot more epic than we actually are. 

Lastly thanks to Darren - my adventure husband. It really is like being married - we constantly bicker and don’t sleep with each other. Magical. Darren - I know I can be an annoying rat, and so thanks for putting up with me and my stupid voices.  It’s good to know I have a constant to talk to when things get horrible and your support means the world. 

SUPPORT CREW

Eternal thanks to the crew put together by David Scott who runs Sandbaggers. Without their local and in depth knowledge of the Namib, we would never have made it. Without the expertise of the drivers, the trucks could not have made the journey over the dunes, carrying our supplies, tents and bags. I’ll be honest, some of those climbs in the car were touch and go….. and who the hell tries to run over an Ostrich? MONSTERS LIKE YOU, THAT’S WHO. 

[dbtrilogy2]

Working Together(17)

Camila

Uh it feels so good to be back. Those kids were holding me hostage for a while. Today I'm doing a few things. First a early heels private class my favorite the one on one connection is always amazing. Most woman I get do private as a confidence booster or maybe for training.

Next some meeting with someone oversea. They are coming all the way from Korea just to meet with little ole me. I'm hoping its something where I need to go there I've always wanted to travel the world.

Lastly sexy daddy aka my husband and I are getting in front of the camera again. We are Atlantas number one magazine "IT" power couple of the month.

As I'm stretching Bre the receptionist and my private student walks in. She had a real shy type vibe coming from her. "First Lady someone is here for you."

"Thanks bre. Hi beautiful!"

"Hi thanks for taking me on." She smiled. "Rachel."

"Right so before we start I wanna get you stretched out and help you get comfortable."

She set her things down. We start on the legs sitting legs open touching our toes. I start up a small conversation.

"How did you find out about these private classes?"

"Well don't get creeped out but I watch all your videos on the SWIZZ website so one day I was just browsing your page and came across the sign up page." She smiled shrugging.

"So tell me what you want to get from this class."

"Well I'm going through a break up...we were high school gone college sweethearts. Some time after the first semester things got weird and we became distant. He was my world but I wasn't his." She said following my next move. "I just want to feel beautiful and confident again. It feels like he took my heart when he left."

"Ok first I'm sorry you have to experience that feeling so young. Would it be to much to know why you guys broke up?"

"No uh...he said he wanted something different."

"So are you doing this to get him back?"

"No no I wanna improve for myself because one day I'll meet the man who won't do me wrong and treat me like the black queen I am. This private class is a start for my confidence I watch all your videos and the heel ones are my favorite. Everyone always looks so care free...I want that."

See why these are my favorite.

"I'm glad you came to me for that. Dance is my go to when I need a boost when I'm down anything really. So we are about to bring out that inner diva your own Sasha fierce. My diva name is Storm."

She blushed. "Ok mine is...Fine Wine."

"Yes I love it! Let's get things going I chose Permission by Ro James it's my shit right now. Do you have any dance experience?"

"Yes I did cheerleading in high school and I was a majorette band dancer in college. It's been a while tho so let's do a beginners."

She was a easy teach we mostly focused on body movement rather the actual dance. Feeling the music letting her body in a way tell a story. Bring out the sexy in her.

  Xdance

As we are ending my husband walks in after knocking. He smiled standing to the side.

"You did so good and looked like the sexiest little thing. I hope to see you at some of my other classes."

"Yes this was so much fun every time I hear that song I'm gonna just break out into my Fine Wine."

"She's a magic worker huh?" Chris comes up his famous slick smirk on his face.

"Defiantly. Hi I'm Rachel." They shook hands before he came over towering me.

We look at each other just smiling. "What?"

He took me by surprise kissing me then walking away laughing like the villain he is. "Your meeting starts in a few hours."

"Thanks. Rachel I hope you had fun today."

"Yes I definitely did it gonna schedule another private before I leave out."

She got her stuff gave me a hug then left out. I got a water sitting against the mirror.

"Nah nah get on up First Lady." Chris came standing over me. "You can shower in the locker rooms by the gym then meet me in my office."

He helped me up tapping my ass. "Uh I don't wanna shower."

"You want daddy to help you get clean again?" He pulled my back into his chest.

His hands move down squeezing my thighs making me bit my lip. Looking up I catch us in the mirror. Kisses on my neck have me giggling and squirming.

"Baby stop before you start something." I tried pushing him off.

"I missed you...that whole hour you weren't with me."

"Aww I missed you to baby. Gimme a kiss so I can go start getting ready for this meeting."

He groaned squeezing me. "No let's steam up this room real quick."

*1 1/2 hour later*

I really hate him sometimes! In the middle of round two bre almost caught us. She only came up because who I'm having my meeting with was on his way.

Now I'm rushing trying to get dressed fix my hair do my make up. I probably look like a head less chicken! Getting off the elevator I run my hands down my skirt walking to Chris office. Knocking first I slowly step in. A older guy and four girls sat in front of his desk.

"오, 세상에, 그녀 야!" One said as the other three gasp. (Oh my gosh it's her)

They stood bowing. "Ok hi." I waved feeling a little awkward.

"Baby this is Mr Shaw and his girl group their from South Korea." Chris took my hand leading us back to his desk letting me sit in his chair while he stood behind it.

"It is very nice to meet you Mrs Washington I am their manager. My girls are huge fans of your work especially with Tinashe." Mr Shawn says reaching out for my hand and bowing.

"Oh thank you so much."

"They came all this way to meet you. Their first performance is coming up soon and they wanted no requested you to do the choreography."

"Awesome I've never worked with anyone from another country before. So what are you guys name since you know me already."

"I'm Lalisa you can just call me Lisa I'm the lead rapper."

"I'm Jennie vocalist I also rap."

"I'm Jisoo the vocalist."

"I'm Chae-young but everyone calls me rose I'm the lead vocalist and we as a group are BlackPink."

(Names in order of picture)

I smiled nodding. "Cute name well thank you for coming to me and trusting me to make your first performance a big one."

"It was a must we watch your videos all the time! We just got signed to the Korean label YG and they want us to wow everyone." Jennie says.

"I can definitely do that. Where is your first performance?"

This is big! A girl group all the way from South Korea wants me little ole me to work with them. Since I'm keeping my professional face on no one call really tell how hype I am but just guess.

"It's for a popular music show all the most currant groups and artist start their and if they do good they shoot off to stardom." Lisa says.

"And we don't want to be like the others. Most people first thought of girl groups where we are from instantly think like twelve girls cute bubbly giggle every five seconds...we don't want that." Jisoo.

"Oh yeah I totally got that vibe from you guys your style is really street but a girly street. I'd love to work with guys so let's set everything up!"

They cheered. A contract was pulled out and chris helped me with negotiating to make sure everything was safe and fair. I got pictures with the girls and they gave me the song they plan on performing.

  Chris

Right after the door closed Camila was jumping and screaming. Smiling I watched. "You excited?"

"Look at me of course I'm excited! Oh my god baby can you believe this!?"

"Hell yeah I can you are an amazing dancer and more and more people are seeing that. Congratulations First Lady."

She smiled cupping her face rushing up to me. "You had a big part in this to. They saw me because I came over here if it wasn't for that site this probably wouldn't be happening...thank you so much baby for believing in me."

Moments like this. We support each other I'm her back bone she's my cheerleader. I couldn't be more proud of my wife. We stood in my office hugging her flipping out every other second.

"Uh I'm so fucking hype like...AH! I want celebration sex." She smiled at me.

"What?"

"Drop the slacks daddy-O." She ran locking the door then started stripping. "Come on now baby hurry up." She whined.

"Ok ok. Claim your thrown my queen."

*2 1/2 hours* Right now everything has been pushed off my desk. We lay on top my wife riding me to the the mother land. She bounced her ass at a perfect speed.

"Shit girl." I groan dropping my hands from her waist.

"Oh papi." She wines her hips slow.

"Got damn I'm about to nut." Thrusting my hips into her she screams out letting her sweets leak down my dick and thighs.

Quickly hoping up she took me in her mouth sucking and rubbing until I reach my own climax.

"Mmmmm you know I kinda miss having you cum inside me." Licking clean she smiled still stroking me.

"I know we can always start using condoms."

She turned her face up at me. "Fuck that we've never used them before. I've been thinking more into getting my tubes burned or tied."

"Really?"

"Yeah why stop the supply when you can just close down the factory."

"Um ok if that's what you wanna do baby like always I'm here for you."

"I know let's get dressed and thank you for dicking me down oh so nicely."

We went home to shower and change before heading to our next thing of the day. In the car we hold hands as I'm driving. Making conversation here and there.

"Have you noticed Stanley and Mona acting a little weird lately?"

"Kind of they aren't together all the time."

"Yeah and I don't feel as close with them anymore."

"Why don't you try to do something with them? Take them shopping or to a salon then just talk see what's in those teenage heads. Maybe I'll do something with Maurice while y'all do that."

Since we both can be pretty busy time with the kids is special. Rather it's everyone going out to eat or movie nights in the house. Something for everyone. I love all my badass kids their all the product of the love I have for this woman next to me. Now I'm not gonna say I have any favorites but I do happen to maybe like three out of six a little more than the others. None of them have to know that tho.

"Do you think I'm a good mom?"

"Yes why you ask?"

"I'm softer on the kids I don't discipline them like you or at all most times. I just want to make sure I'm not setting them up for failure later in life."

"I think you are a great mother. Maybe be a little tougher on them cause I know you wouldn't like it if one day one of them decide they don't want to listen to you anymore. I know you sometimes think I'm to hard on them but it's all out of love. And then once their grown what they do is all on them out job as their parents is to teach them right from wrong what they chose to do with the knowledge they get is not our fault. So say if one of them goes to jail or something you don't blame yourself or your parenting skills that child just made the wrong decision."

She leaded over kissing on my cheek and neck. "I love you so much."

Smirking I pull into a space in front of the building. "yo te quiero más." She moaned kissing my lips this time. (I love you more)

Walking into the building we are greeted and taken to the second floor.

"Our couple of the month everyone!" A room full of people clapped as we walk in.

"Oh wow hi." Camila nervously waved.

"Welcome thank you for coming in. We are so happy to finally have you two featured on our magazine it's a shoing to be on of our best sellers." A guy shook our hands.

We sat in the last two free seats. "It's all love we are more than happy to be apart of this."

"Great wonderful so today we want to do everything! Being that you all have a big family it wouldn't be right to keep you for to long. I will be the editor for the magazine this month being that our company splits us up by months so no one gets left out."

Smart.

"This is our wardrobe and make up/hair team they will be styling you both. The photographer one of the best here, and the interview will be given by me recorded by my assistant."

"Sounds nice you guys are really put together."

"Thank you very much. We can start on the interview part now while these guys go set everything up and I'm gonna get started with the interview."

Everyone else left out.

[alwaysmarilynmonroe]

I’ll be honest, if someone had told me to go and check out Primark’s own Makeup Range; PS…, I probably would have said no and continued to only venture in every now and then in hopes of finding Marilyn things. However, my favourite Beauty Blogger, Em aka mypaleskinblog did a huge Primark beauty haul on her Youtube Channel which enlightened me to not always be such a makeup snob!

To be fair to myself, which I rarely am – (but that’s another story), I do buy a wide variety of both higher and lower end beauty products, it’s just that I’d never considered Primark for makeup. The irony is, occasionally a cheaper Brand ends up making a longer lasting, better quality product compared to a Luxury Company! Therefore it goes to show that although you may get a more aesthetically pleasing purchase, it doesn’t always mean it’s better – which is basically the moral of this post.

During my haul I picked up a red lip liner, two beauty blenders and an eye shadow palette, with each item being the maximum price of.. £2.50! I would have also purchased a lipstick of some sort, however they didn’t really have any red shades which I was hoping for. Although, I’ve just been browsing on their website and they have some lovely products which means I will definitely be popping in there again at some point.

I must say, I was pleasantly surprised with the outcome of each purchase! At such cheap prices I wasn’t expecting anything astounding, but each item applied wonderfully and I actually continue to use the products weekly. Plus, even with all of the items being so cheap, they still looked very pleasing to the eye! The packaging is bold and very classic. Ultimately, I care more about the products quality however, the little touches do often make the beauty buy and for their price they definitely don’t disappoint!

Firstly, the lip liner sharpens well and feels smooth and creamy when I apply it to my lips, not chalky or harsh at all! It’s also long lasting and to be honest, I don’t really notice any difference when I compare it to my other liners! The red cap matches the shade of the liner, which contrasts beautifully with the black pencil and gold writing. Plus, it’s pretty convenient as it makes it a lot easier finding the shade you like.

Secondly, the beauty blenders come in two different shapes, one oval and one curved with the top and bottom being two different sizes. Better yet, they’re both pink! One being baby pink and the other being hot pink and yes, as you can probably tell by my excitement – I’m most definitely a girlie girl. Comparing it with my Real Techniques sponge, I can notice a slight difference with the texture – the Primark beauty blenders are not as smoothe, but for the price you can’t really complain!

Last but not least, the eye shadow palette contains beautiful nude colours, with warm and cool earthy tones that have subtle glittery pigments. The shades are very bendable and understated , so if you love a bold dramatic shadow then this probably isn’t for you. However, if you like your winged eyeliner to be the stand out factor in your makeup, then this is definitely a must have.

The only overall downside I can think of when reviewing these items is ironically – the price! Don’t get me wrong, we all love a good bargain however, because everything is so cheap, if you’re not careful you could end up spending a lot more than you would with a higher end Brand.

Also, I’m not saying every single beauty product from Primark is wonderful as that’s ultimately unlikely, like with 99% of Makeup Brands – not everything can be perfect. But, from my mini haul I can definitely say that I use all of my items regularly and all have turned out to be quality items which I recommend.

Have you bought any good quality great priced makeup? Which are your go to Bargain Brands?

Follow me at;

BLOGLOVIN

INSTAGRAM

TUMBLR

YOUTUBE

For inquiries or collaborations contact me at;

meganmonroes@icloud.com

PS… Primark Mini Makeup Haul. I'll be honest, if someone had told me to go and check out Primark's own Makeup Range; PS..., I probably would have said no and continued to only venture in every now and then in hopes of finding Marilyn things.

[bloojayoolie]

Being Alone, Andrew Bogut, and Apparently: Given up for"No Time" Affectionate, shy, playful, friendly w/adults, strangers, kids & dogs, big or small! Well behaved, house & crate trained. A Good Girl! ld 17552 @3 Yrs., 52 lbs., Spayed, Manhattan Acc Hazel TO BE KILLED – 1/17/2018 Hazel loves to sing … well, she likes to sing to get your attention so you will take her out of her kennel…the ONLY place in the world she can’t tolerate. 😊 Once out she is bashful about her singing capabilities and somewhat shy, but absolutely sweet. She is slightly plump, but all the more to love, and of course she is absolutely beautiful. Her former family said they had “no time” anymore to care for a pet and dumped her to die. It’s really disgraceful, because she is good with kids, she is affectionate with everyone, even strangers, and she is great with dogs large or small! She doesn’t like cats but nobody’s perfect, right? As a volunteer writes: Pretty Hazel was a family dog who, although crate trained, used to roam freely in her owners' apartment. As a result, in addition to not being in her familiar surroundings and with her loved ones, she is not too fond of her kennel. But show her a leash and Hazel will zip...and exit "like a flower" from her den. She does not mind a coat and a scarf. A treat as a reward makes her happy. On the way to the street, we meet a few staff who squeal, "Hazel, Hazel, the pretty one!" Hazel is quickly in their arms for hugs and kisses. She is a good walker, does a lot of sniffing, appears house trained and sits nicely on command. Other dogs are not her focus although in playgroups with her peers, she is polite and even playful at times. She did not play with a ball but is said to be playful by her former owners. The bitter cold does not entice anyone to play, unfortunately. Hazel is a very girly and elegant young lady, beautifully cared for by her former family and ready to be the new forever best friend you have dreamed of. Come and meet Hazel at the Manhattan Care Center. Miss HAZEL! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1C6OJI1IAg More of Miss HAZEL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ix5NuXFmBDs&feature=youtu.be HAZEL, ID # 17552, @ 3 Yrs. Old, 52 lbs. Manhattan cc, Medium Mixed breed, White / Tan, Spayed Female Owner Surrender Reason: NO TIME Shelter Assessment Rating: Experience Intake Behavior Rating: INTAKE NOTE: Upon intake, when I approached Hazel she jumped up on me and allowed me to pet her on her head. Hazel allowed me to collar her and place a leash over her head. Hazel also allowed me to pet her along the top of her body. Hazel pulled lightly on the leash as I walked out towards her kennel. Hazel walked into her kennel on her own. OWNER SURRENDER NOTES - Basic Information: Hazel is a 3 year old female white and tan medium mixed breed dog. Hazel lived with previous owner for about 3 years and was surrendered because owner no longer had the time to care for her. Hazel has no injuries or health issues and was last taken to the vet about 2 years ago. She previously lived with two adults. Hazel is friendly and outgoing around strangers. Hazel is described as being playful and jumpy around strangers. Hazel has previously interacted with children aged 4-5 years old. Hazel is described as being excited and jumpy around children and will allow to be petted. Hazel has interacted with both small and large dogs. Hazel is described as being playful with other dogs but will growl at them if they try to take away a toy from her. Hazel has not interacted with cats. Hazel is not bothered her food or bowl is touched while she is eating. Hazel has never bitten another animal or human. She is housetrained with a high energy level. When Hazel hears loud noises or fireworks, she will curl up in a corner and hide. Hazel is not bothered when bathed but tries to escape when dried with a blow dryer. Hazel is also not bothered when her nails are trimmed or when being held or restrained. She also is not bothered when her paws are touched. She has never had any medical issues and her owner stated she is unaware of any medical issues. For a New Family to Know: Hazel is a friendly, affectionate, playful, shy, and sometimes fearful dog. When at home, Hazel likes to follow her owner around and stay in the same room as them. Hazel was kept as an indoors only dog and slept on floor next to her owner's bed. Hazel was being fed Beneful dry food twice a day. Hazel is house trained and never had accidents at home. When left home alone, Hazel is left inside crate with door closed and is well behaved. Hazel was taken for slow walks on the lease and would pull lightly. When walked off leash, Hazel wanders some but comes when called. Hazel Knows basic commands such as sit and stay. SHELTER ASSESSMENT - Date of assessment: 7-Jan-2018 Look: 1. Dog's eyes are averted, with tail wagging and ears back. Allows head to be held loosely in Assessor's cupped hands. Sensitivity: 1. Dog leans into the Assessor, eyes soft or squinty, soft and loose body, open mouth. Tag: 1. Dog follows at the end of the leash, body soft. Paw squeeze 1: 1. Dog does not respond at all for three seconds. Eyes are averted and ears are relaxed or back. Paw squeeze 2: 1. Dog gently pulls back his/her paw. Flank squeeze 1: Item not conducted Flank squeeze 2: Item not conducted Toy: 1. Minimal interest in toy, dog may smell or lick, then turns away. Summary: Hazel approached the assessor in the assessment room with a soft body. She was social during the assessment, allowed all handling, and displayed no concerning behaviors. PLAYGROUP NOTES - Summary: HAZEL IS A *HELPER DOG! The behavior department feels that Hazel would be compatible with social, gently playful dogs. Hazel has displayed social, gently playful behavior when engaged with dogs in the care center. The previous owner described her as "playful" around large and small dogs, though was reported to growl if approached by another dog while in possession of a toy. When introduced to a small dog in the foster home, Hazel was polite when greeting, and respectful of the warning signals given when the other dog was uncomfortable. Summary (1): 1/5: When introduced off leash to male dogs, Hazel is initially somewhat tense, but with a second dog greets politely and engages with loose body, exploring the pen with the other dog. Summary (2): 1/6: Hazel greets a male dog politely and engages in some running play. 1/9-10: Hazel is polite and tolerant when greeting other dogs. ENERGY LEVEL: Hazel's previous owner described her as having a high level of activity. We recommend long-lasting chews, food puzzles, and hide-and-seek games, in additional to physical exercise, to positively direct her energy and enthusiasm BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: EXPERIENCE (suitable for an adopter with some previous dog experience, especially with the behaviors outlined below) Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No cats Recommendations comments: No cats: When attempting to introduce Hazel to the resident cat in a foster home, Hazel displayed concerning behavior- beginning to vocalize, hard bark, growl, followed by attempting to pull toward and chase after the cat. Potential challenges: Kennel presence Potential challenges comments: Kennel presence: In her kennel, Hazel barks and growls when people pass by. While we cannot be certain if this behavior will appear in any other contexts, in highly emotionally charged or stressful environments Hazel may show behavior similar to what she is currently demonstrating in her kennel. We recommend potential adopters be comfortable managing this behavior and keeping themselves safe in any similar future situations. MEDICAL NOTES: 12-Jan-2018: Pre-Op Exam, Vet Notes: 2:26 PM, post op exam wnl, seems confortable in kennel 11-Jan-2018: Spay/Neuter Summary Post Surgery Note: 10:30 AM. Pre-surgical exam, Anesthesia, and surgery performed by ASPCA. Green linear tattoo placed on ventral abdomen. 5-Jan-2018: DVM Intake. Vet Notes: 3:36 PM. DVM Intake Exam. Estimated age: ~ 3years. History : Owner surrender. Subjective: BARH, reported to be cage aggressive but once out of cage is very friendly. Observed Behavior - Wagging tail, looking for affection. Evidence of Cruelty seen – none. Evidence of Trauma seen – none. Objective: P = 96, R = 36, BCS 5/9. EENT: Mild peri-ocular erythema, otherwise Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted. Oral Exam: Mild periodontal disease, no lesions. PLN: No enlargements noted. H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic. ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated. U/G: Female intact, no mammary masses, mammary tissue very prominent. MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: NE. Assessment: Apparently healthy intact female. Prognosis: Excellent. Plan: Okay for surgery **** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT **** If you would like to adopt a dog on our “To Be Killed” list, and you CAN get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process *within 48 hours of reserve*, you can reserve the dog online until noon on the day they are scheduled to die. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) HOW TO RESERVE A “TO BE KILLED” DOG ONLINE (only for those who can get to the shelter IN PERSON to complete the adoption process, and only for the dogs on the list NOT marked New Hope Rescue Only). Follow our Step by Step directions below! *PLEASE NOTE – YOU MUST USE A PC OR TABLET – PHONE RESERVES WILL NOT WORK! ** STEP 1: CLICK ON THIS RESERVE LINK: http://ift.tt/2ynocEZ Step 2: Go to the red menu button on the top right corner, click register and fill in your info. Step 3: Go to your email and verify account Step 4: Go back to the website, click the menu button and view available dogs Step 5: Scroll to the animal you are interested and click reserve STEP 6 ( MOST IMPORTANT STEP ): GO TO THE MENU AGAIN AND VIEW YOUR CART. THE ANIMAL SHOULD NOW BE IN YOUR CART! Step 7: Fill in your credit card info and complete transaction Animal Care Centers of NYC (ACC) nycacc.org HOW TO FOSTER OR ADOPT IF YOU *CANNOT* GET TO THE SHELTER IN PERSON, OR IF THE DOG IS NEW HOPE RESCUE ONLY! You must live within 3 – 4 hours of NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Norther VA. Please PM our page for assistance. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a dog on the To Be Killed list, including those labelled Rescue Only. Hurry please, time is short, and the Rescues need time to process the applications. Shelter contact information Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adoption@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309

[non-nulla]

Bleh.

Do people even use Tumblr anymore to rant/talk about things they have no where else to say it?

I’m not even sure where to begin. There has been SO much going on lately. Within the last week alone, I have graduated college and gotten engaged (YAY!). I definitely feel overwhelmed by everything and yet, relieved.

I’m not sure who is more proud of me, my mom or myself. Getting my degree definitely was not easy. I have always had a chaotic life and never really had a stable place to live but I worked as hard as I possibly could to get to where I am today and I couldn’t be any happier. I lived at “home” during college because I refused to get a degree that put me $100k in debt. I did have to pay a couple thousand, but it was nothing compared to what all of my other friends had to pay. Staying “home” for college was not the easiest thing to do either considering I did not have just one “home” and I often had to stay elsewhere or sit in class wondering where I was going to sleep that night because I couldn’t go “home”. Looking back, maybe it would have been better if I dormed or spent all of my money on rent but oh well.

Throughout college I also held a full time job. I worked six days a week and had little to no social life. However, I put half of my paycheck a week into my savings account so I could pay my tuition out of pocket and used the other half for everything else. I was probably one of the few people I knew that held a full time job and juggled school while getting fantastic grades. Looking back, definitely worth it. Sometimes it was a struggle and I was definitely miserable after my 50 hour (sometimes more) weeks but I’m not in debt and ready to take on the real world so my struggle definitely made me stronger.

I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Clinical and Forensic Psychology (magna cum laude) and what am I going to do with that? Absolutely nothing and yet, I am still happy that is what I chose. My professors were beyond phenomenal and they are people I will keep in touch with for my entire life. I learned so much in my small program and once again, I could not be any happier. In the fall I will be attending graduate school for counseling.

The first two years at my university I was in a toxic relationship that extended from high school. It wasn’t so toxic until the end. I heard the rumors and still refused to listen when everyone told me the Marine Corp changes people. Long story short: should have listened to everyone but it was definitely a learning experience (plus, I got to do tons of traveling to visit him, like Japan) but that experience led me to where I am today, engaged and again, I can’t stress how happy I am. My past relationships have taught me so much and I do not regret them for a second. They have taught me how I want to/should be treated, my flaws, and has led me to someone who accepts me for exactly who I am and has never once looked down at me and has supported me unconditionally. I’m really not that girly, but I cannot wait to start planning my wedding and go dress shopping (although it’ll be 1,000 years until I can afford that).

I have definitely had my fair share of struggle throughout the last couple years, some people have had it worse, but that does not mean I don’t get to rant about it. I have overcome numerous challenges and worked my butt off to get to where I am today: a college graduate with no debt, engaged, moving into my own place with the person I’m engaged to, looking for a new job (definitely not ready to leave my old one that I’ve been at for six years), and moving on to get my masters! I did not receive any help from anyone besides myself. I pushed myself, I motivated myself, I have had countless terrible days where I wanted to give up and everything to end, but I kept pushing forward and I have never been stronger and happier. All of my struggles for the past 21 years led me to where I am today and I would go through it all again just to wind up this happy, happier than I ever thought possible. If someone told me this is where I would be 7 or 8 years ago when I first joined this website as a depressed teenage girl that had no hope and no motivation, I would have never believed it.

It is worth it. Everything is worth it.

[whitneypierce717]

Peggy – 7 year old female German Shepherd Dog

Hi there. My name is Peggy and I’m a lovely 7 year old German Shepherd Dog girlie! I am a lovely looking lady even if I do say so myself and have a short haired black and tan coat. Unfortunately I was a stray before I was brought to live at the kennels at Cefni German Shepherd Rescue. I don’t really remember how I became a stray but I was picked up and taken to a dogs home and was so sad when absolutely NO-ONE came forward to take me home. (Because I was a stray and Cefni don’t know much about me before I came to live with them I’m only allowed to be rehomed with children of 9 and older) I was then taken to the rescue so I was safe. I did find all this very strange and scary, all these new people and places and smells and sounds. I’m getting on in years now at 7 and always hoped I’d spend my twilight years in comfort and peace with people I loved and who loved me – I still haven’t given up on my dream – please help me!

Cefni are watching me while I am living in the kennels. They are always trying to see what I like and don’t like so they can see what I will need in my new home and it will be just perfect for me. They’ve thankfully seen that I’m not too keen on cats so a cat free forever home is preferable and also a dog free home too if that’s OK. I’m a little uncomfortable around other dogs and although I am trying really hard to work on my socialising skills whilst I’m sat in kennels dreaming of my new family, I still need a little more time. Maybe a special person who has experience of working with doggies of my size would be ideal because I can be quite strong willed as I’m a typical German Shepherd Dog girlie and love to get my own way but hey I’ve had to live as a stray and I’m used to having to stand on my own 4 paws!!! I need someone I can trust to let me know if my manners could be a little better sometimes and quickly put me right as it would break my heart to think I’d found my forever home and then have to come back to kennels again.

I know basic commands because I am a clever girl and LOVE people so try really hard to please. I’m a strong girl too so I am very good at taking you for walks when you need to go – I don’t mind at all walking you – that’s what best friends do – I’m just soooo excited to be out with you!!! Cefni took me to one side however and tried to tell me that sometimes people don’t like their dogs walking THEM !!! So I may need some help with that haha. If you tell me nice and firmly though, I will try to slow down so we can walk a little easier together. But as I’m a clever girl I’m sure it won’t be long before I understand properly what I’m supposed to do! I currently am used to a collar and lead when I’m walked rather than one of those weird harness thingies!!! I’m really excited about finding my forever home. And I can’t wait to meet my very own special family or person who I can love and protect. What doggy doesn’t deserve that opportunity?

I would love to have somewhere warm and cosy to sleep and someone who I can look after and give lots of sloppy kisses to and who will look after me and give me lots of sloppy kisses right back haha. I’m not too bad in a car either once we get going – so I’m all ready for the journey to my new home!! I’m microchipped and vaccinated and generally doing OK health wise for a girlie of my age so I’m good to go when you are! I may need a good groom when you get me but I kind of don’t mind it too much really – and I would look so fabulous afterwards.

Please please come and get me, don’t leave me sitting waiting here in my kennel for much longer. If you would like to be my special someone then please get in touch with Cefni and they will tell you what you need to do next. Thank you for taking the time to read all about me! I hope you are interested and I’m really really looking forward to meeting you very soon. Lots of love from Peggy (PS I’m saving a big sloppy kisses for when I see you!?)

For further information about Peggy please visit our website for the requirements and the kind of home Peggy needs. If you are able to offer her the home needed please visit the adopt a dog section to complete the application form.

via WordPress https://whitneypierce123.wordpress.com/2017/04/03/peggy-7-year-old-female-german-shepherd-dog-3/

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

A Letter to Dr. Hansen

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/a-letter-to-dr-hansen/

A Letter to Dr. Hansen

It's D-Blog Week this week, an online "rally" of sorts in which D-bloggers near and far write their personal responses to prompts created by the unflappable Karen from Bittersweet Diabetic. Today is Letter Writing Day:

"In February the Wego Blog Carnival asked participants to write letters to their condition. You can write a letter to diabetes if you'd like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams?" (and so on...)

Simple. I decided to write a letter to my first diabetes doctor, Dr. James Hansen, who was a pediatric endocrinologist at Emanuel Children's Hospital in Portland, Oregon.

****

Dear Dr. Hansen,

It has been almost eight years since you passed away.

A lot has happened in eight years, yet at the same time, I feel like not a whole lot has changed. There's still no cure for diabetes. We're still trying to figure out how to make decent technology for patients. We're still trying to figure out how to use stem cells to cure diseases. We're still trying to figure out what causes diabetes. We're still trying to figure out how to get everyone on the same page. Some things never change.

I was 17 years old when you passed away. I was just about to graduate from high school, and I had been on the insulin pump for almost three years. Now I'm almost 26, I'm getting married in two months, and there's this new little gadget I'm clamoring to get on called a continuous glucose monitoring system.

I have a feeling that if you could see a CGM, you would be stoked. You wanted me on an insulin pump even before I did! You were always into gadgetry and tech and data. You would have been a perfect judge for the DiabetesMine Design Challenge. You were always raising the bar with your expectations, yet you were also realistic. You were calm about diabetes, reasonable.

I remember the night I was admitted into the hospital. I clearly remember laying in the hospital bed, after vomiting all over myself and the nurse. I didn't feel so hot. My mom was on my left, and my dad was on my right, and you were standing at the foot of the bed, explaining to us what the hell had just happened. I'm afraid I don't remember a word you said.

I remember a lot of what you did, though. I remember you drawing me a diagram of how insulin works on a piece of paper at one of my appointments. I wasn't fully managing my diabetes on my own yet, yet you always talked to me as if I were the most important person in the room. And I suppose I was. I remember your light touch when you check my thyroid glands and how you humored me when I laughed at seeing the "freeway" of blood vessels in my eyes. I thought that was the coolest. I remember how you never raised your voice, and how even when we had to wait over an hour for our appointment, my mom and I never really cared. We knew it was because you gave your patients the exact amount of time they needed, and you wouldn't rush us just because you were running late.

I remember how you always asked me if I had any questions at the end of our appointments. I always felt a little sheepish when I didn't. I guess you had the expectations that I should be an engaged patient, even if I was only 12 years old. I like to think I'm getting better at it. You would be all over this e-patient stuff, and I'm pretty sure you would have more Twitter followers than me.

I remember how devastated I was when you were diagnosed with colon cancer. I remember how the staff and every patient I came in contact with would share updates about how you were doing. We wanted you back so badly.

I remember when you did come back, for a short time. I had already moved on to a different doctor, a female doctor, who was also great. She was a girl so she got all that "girly stuff" that I probably would have been too embarrassed to talk to you about.

I remember interviewing you for my very first diabetes website, CureNow. I think I interviewed you about Lantus. Do you remember that? It seems funny now that Lantus would have been such a big freaking deal, but it was. Sayonara NPH! I dragged in this enormous tape recorder from my high school so I could record our interview. So old school. I'm still writing about diabetes, actually, although we're slightly more hi-tech these days. I'm kind of gunning for an iPad. Man, you would love the iPad.

I remember when I found out that you had died. My mother told me, after someone had told her. There are no words to describe how crushed we were. 'One of the good ones,' my mom said. You were one of the good ones, and now you were gone. I went to your memorial. It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. I don't think I have ever been so sad.

You've set the bar high for doctors, though I'll admit that I've been pretty lucky in scoring some awesome physicians. But nobody quite compares to you. Nobody has made me feel as empowered as you did. Nobody has made me feel that I was going to be just fine quite like you. You made me feel like I could do this. And now I am doing this. I'm doing this because you showed me how.

I don't know what the afterlife is like, or whether there's a heaven, though I hope there is and that you're there. And if so, on the off-chance that you happen to run into Dr. Banting, give him a high-five for me, will ya?

Your Loyal Patient,

Allison

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article