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#but i really wanted to post this particular bit here
bellaxgiornata · 1 day
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Congrats Bella!!! From one mama to another - what are your headcannons for Matt and Frank with a pregnant partner and how do they adjust to fatherhood (again in Frank’s circumstance)?
Thank you!! 💕And ohhh boy, do I have THOUGHTS on this topic for Matt and Frank in particular. Some of the thoughts about Matt you'll see bits of in Seeking Forgiveness and even more in future installments of FFTD (like way later for that series), and the ones for Frank I've wanted to include in a possible second part to You're Body is Not a Graveyard or something else entirely because there is a lot that can be discussed. Of course, I'll put everything below the cut (and y'all can keep sending things in from my celebration post here).
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Matt Murdock Adjusting to Fatherhood
From the very beginning, right after initially finding out you were pregnant, Matt would absolutely be internally beating himself up. That man would be thinking he's going to fail as a father right from the start because despite all Matt's cocky confidence, he's got a lot of self-loathing and insecurities going on under the surface. And if you were having a boy? You can guarantee that comment about the Murdock boys having the Devil in them would be in his head constantly.
But despite that, the very first moment he hears the baby's heartbeat would bring him to his knees. That rapid, fluttering sound would become one of his favorites instantly. Because despite his fear of failing you and baby, knowing that child was his would have him feeling a love he's never experienced before. Especially with how much and how long he has been feeling alone in the world after his father's passing, knowing that baby was his family would be a very big deal to Matt and would often leave him indescribably emotional.
With his heightened senses, Matt would become bonded to baby quicker than most fathers generally are before birth. He would always be checking in on baby's heartbeat, zeroing in on the sound of baby's movements as they grew bigger, and even the way he'd be feeling their movements over your stomach would be an entirely different experience for him with his sense of touch. You'd definitely catch him occasionally grinning to himself in the apartment or while you were out because of something he was listening to baby doing. 
When it came time for baby to be born, the man would be in a panic getting you to the hospital. It would be almost comical to see, making it seem like he was the one about to give birth with how he was acting. But really? He would be hearing every painful contraction you were suffering through with his senses, suffering through each one with you in his own way because he hated seeing you in pain and not being able to help. He'd be having a hard time trying to keep himself in check in the hospital while you gave birth, his senses making the entire experience terrifying for him, but he'd do his best to be there for you. 
Once baby was born, Matt would be all about the skin to skin. He would shed his shirt and want to hold the baby as soon as you'd give him the chance. And that newborn smell? With his nose it would be something even more amazing to Matt–a very big dopamine hit for him. 
Back home, he would do his best to help out with baby despite feeling like he was in over his head. But he would quickly realize he was amazing at anticipating what baby needed with his heightened senses, knowing when they were hungry or tired or needed a diaper usually right before they even started to cry. 
But Matt would still be going out as Daredevil in the evenings. Despite his fear of leaving his own child fatherless through his actions (like his own father), it still wouldn't be something he could give up. Though he'd do his best to compromise with you about it all. But admittedly, he'd always have a part of himself distracted, keeping an ear out for anything going on back home. Because as much as he loves Hell's Kitchen, his own child would ultimately come first.
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Frank Castle Adjusting to Fatherhood for a Second Time
Frank would initially have a hard time discussing starting a family with you after everything he'd been through with losing the family he thought he'd always have. But deep down, he'd ultimately know that's what he wanted with you. Not a do-over or a replacement family, but a chance at being happy again, of feeling that love he once felt instead of the empty, hollow space in his chest.
Finding out you were pregnant would be a mix of emotions for him. He'd be crying on the bedroom floor with you when you brought him that positive pregnancy test. Tears of joy at the new life already growing within you, but also tears of a deep, indescribable grief at the memory of the first time Maria had told him the very same thing.
He would attend every OB appointment you asked him to come to. Every ultrasound he would be right there holding your hand, fighting tears as he watched his baby's movements up on the screen. And every time he heard the baby's heartbeat when they checked would be like the first time all over again, a wave of relief crashing over him to hear that sound and to know everything was okay. Because deep down he'd always be terrified of another loss.
Frank would be going out of his way for you during your pregnancy. You're craving a cheeseburger or cookie dough ice cream at midnight? You can guarantee he'd be out the door getting it for you. Your feet are sore or swollen or your back was killing you? He'd be demanding you sit down, kick your feet up, and let him give you a massage. You're throwing up because of horrible morning sickness? He'd be right there holding your hair back without a word, bringing you your toothbrush and some mouthwash afterwards.
But that doesn't mean you wouldn't find Frank occasionally sitting outside in the backyard or on the edge of your bed alone and crying. Mourning the loss of Lisa and Frank Jr. along with Maria. Because the pain of that would never leave him, something you'd long since understood. There would certainly be times you'd be the one silently offering him comfort while he struggled with his grief being painfully brought back to the surface during the entire experience.
On lazy days and late nights, you'd be sitting with Frank, your cheeks aching from how hard you were smiling as you listened to him talk to your growing bump. His large hand would be affectionately resting atop it, and if baby managed to hit or kick him? He'd chuckle and happily accept the interruption.
When it came time for you to give birth, you can absolutely believe that man on the outside would look completely calm and in charge. He'd have the hospital bags packed and in hand while guiding you to the car. He'd stay awake with you through labor, no matter how many hours it lasted, and getting you whatever you needed. He'd be there calmly talking to you and doing what he could to ease your mind. But internally? He'd be panicking. Terrified of something going wrong, afraid God or someone would punish him for the things he's done and take both of you away from him in one fell swoop. And if that happened, he'd believe he deserved it, too.
But once baby was born and he was assured that you were both perfectly safe and healthy, he'd be pulling off his shirt and accepting his newborn from your arms. And he would be a hysterical, bawling mess as he held that tiny baby in his big arms. Whenever he could finally get the tears to lessen, you'd be hearing him promise that baby a million things with the biggest, watery smile on his face.
Despite Frank still having quiet moments of grief that you'd catch him trying to hide from you, moments where he'd be mentally reliving experiences from his past that still hurt him, he would be present for absolutely everything with you and baby. Diaper blowouts, late night runs to the store for formula, burping baby over his shoulder and being entirely unfazed by baby spitting up all over himself. Every cry in the middle of the night would wake him and he'd be right there, doing whatever needed to be done without a single word of complaint no matter how exhausted he was.
Frank would internally have long since made a vow to protect both you and baby no matter what, and he'd take that vow very seriously. But he'd also vow to never miss or not appreciate a single moment this time around--a smile, a first word, first steps. He'd be there for it all. And you'd certainly never catch him miss an opportunity to read them a bed time story to sleep every single night.
I could certainly go on with way more, but then this post would be massive 😅 These are just a few of my thoughts about these two as fathers!
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stinmybubs · 1 day
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"I want you."
AN: Hi hi! I haven't ever really posted on tumblr because I'm so obsessed with reading lol, but I just decided to say fuck it and write wtv I think of.
18+!! Please be advised there will be mature content! Minors I cannot control you but DNI if you do see this, thank you so much!
AFAB! Reader! x Bakugo Katsuki
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Bakugo is a hothead, we all know this as a fact. Getting close to him wasn't the easy, you found him a bit annoying because of his constant yelling every time someone tried to be nice to him.
You never considered Bakugo Katsuki as your time, maybe Kirishima, Midoriya, a little bit of Denki, hell Mina sure was up your alley. But the way you saw the hot headed boy changed a bit overtime, it was his calmness. He never really got out of line unless provoked or wanted to show off a bit. Which you found awfully cute.
It was the little things. Noticing how he treated those he kept around him, just the cute ways he'd refuse to make eye contact with people especially id he was embarrassed.
Sooner or later you found yourself staring at him more often, noticing how beautiful he was, yeah beautiful...but also how awfully hot he was. His biceps, chest, arms, legs, everything was just so ugh. The way he looked in tank tops just made you drool.
AN: Okay okay I'm getting off track of actual head cannons I am so sorry its been so long.
B Katsuki He notices how you stare, and cant say he hates the attention you give him, of course he loves it. He revels in it.
B Katsuki You never noticed, but he always kept an eye on you. Not only was he too afraid to speak to you but he knew you didn't see him in a good way. I mean you made it pretty obvious from the beginning and by the way you used to look at him. He was never too good at properly talking to someone. Especially people he liked. So he started with small things, trying to be calmer even though everything everyone said was stupid. He just wanted you to like him, but he didn't know if you ever will.
B Katsuki When he noticed the staring, his heart skipped. It made him nervous and he never knew where to look. But now, its time to show off even more knowing you're watching. He tried looking over from time to time to see your reaction to what he was doing, did you like it? But one time he saw you looking everywhere but his face and the smirk on his face when he found out...his ego inflated so much that day.
B Katsuki The worst part of trying to drop hints at Bakugo was hot but frustrating, the way you'd purposely bend over in his line of sight, or the way you'd purposely unbutton your shit whenever it was "hot." But the fucker never even looked your way or said anything.
B Katsuki Oh he noticed, he noticed your little tease. And how he longed to touch you. But what pissed him off about you doing this was how the other boys could see this, especially on one particular day.
Class 1-A decided to collectively work out together, especially try to motivate the non-athletic classmates. Your workout clothes weren't that different from the rest of the girls, a tank top and some work out shorts. You and the girls were kind of slacking off until Bakugo came over yelling for you guys to stop fooling around and actually work out or in his words. " Leave ya' takin up space." And with that the giggling was over.
"Ugh..." You groaned, leaning against a wall to regain your energy. You quickly grabbed the small towel you had resting on the bar while you were attempting to bench press, wiping the icky sweat from your forehead and chest.
"Eugh, water...need.." This time you weren't even attempting to be a tease, you just wanted some fucking water. You bend over to check the time on your phone, lowering your head with a hand on the wall, resting your eyes with a sigh.
"Ugh...we've been here for only 30min." You sigh, lifting yourself back up and stretching your back. Not realizing the fuming Katsuki staring at you.
"Oi' fuckers I didn't say you can stop workin' out!"
Bakugo yelled, noticing a handful of guys staring at you. Denki, mineta, Kirishima, and Sero. Now he's pissed.
AN: Uhhh, this turned out to be wayyyy more than headcannons. Safe to say that this is going to have a pt.2! Yay my first 2 parter! I cannot write long stories so :3 Oh! I am recently getting back into writing so I am very sorry if the grammar is horrid and the story sucks it was off the top of my head as I wrote, no pre-plan, no nothin. I am very sorry! But thank you for reading. <3
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novantinuum · 1 day
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Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 1
[Part 1- You are here!] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5]
~
Howdy! Those of you who have followed me for a while have probably been seeing my reblogs of the @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. Well, today I wanna share with you something a little different than my usual SU meta… because today I’m gonna analyze this really cool fan work with the same level of seriousness as I do canon. (Like. Seriously. This first post alone is really, really long. I put most of it under a cut.)
This particular comic is a very special one for me to watch unfold, because it’s evident that a lot of deep care and attention to detail has been poured into its creation. There’s fascinating bits of expanded character development to chew into here, as well as plenty of mysteries and lingering questions for us readers to muse and theorize over. If you follow me for Steven Universe and haven’t read this AU yet I highly recommend you check it out. The most basic pitch is that it explores what a fusion between Steven and Jasper might look like, and does a LOT of deep-diving into the similarities and differences of both of those characters’ psyches.
Here’s the episode masterpost on tumblr.
And you can find it on Tapas, too! 
(Note: For the purposes of these posts, I was given permission by the comic artist to post screenshots of various pages where relevant in this discussion. For each frame used I will list the episode and page number for easy reference. Additionally, this post and all future ones on the topic will contain full spoilers for the comic thus far.)
Now with all that introductory stuff out of the way, here we go!
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So, on the final page of the most recent update, we get one hell of a visual plot bomb for Steven as ol’ Onyx unfuses:
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(Episode 9: Page 22)
He’s now visually expressing remnants of his corruption, where before he was not.
And it’s this mysterious plot point in particular that got me wanting to analyze this comic more deeply in the first place. This is completely new for him in this story. Thus far, he’s never expressed any of these remnants when he’s just himself- not in the way Jasper does. So it made me wonder… how might this shift in his appearance play into the ultimate trajectory of the plot? How does Steven suddenly showcasing corruption scars integrate into the larger story that is being spun here about him and Jasper and how they relate to each other?
Well, there’s a lot of comic details and story lore we need to unpack first before I can take my best theorizer’s stab at this. Let’s dig right in.
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Prelude: The analyst’s treasure is in the speech bubbles
Anyone who’s been a fan of this comic for a while has probably noticed these fun visual details already, but I’m going to take a moment to break down what I believe each speech bubble style signifies for folks who may not have context. It’ll make some of my analysis later a bit easier, too, ahah.
So. Speech bubbles. What kinds do we have here? 
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(Episode 1: Page 6)
Style number one: Solid with black text
This style is standard for non-fused characters, and is also utilized when a fused character is speaking whilst in a state of internal harmony.
Steven is pink and Jasper is orange, of course. Onyx’s speech bubbles are a distinct darker pink, and the main three Crystal Gems get their own colors as well. More minor characters get white bubbles.
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(Episode 1: Page 10)
Style number two: Scribbly pink lettering overlaying black text
Whenever you see this type of speech bubble, it’s a sign that there is some level of internal discord going on within Steven or Onyx that is related to their diamond side. It usually shows up when one of the two is in pink mode, but from what I can tell this is not a solid rule.
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(Episode 2: Page 12)
Style number three: Pink/orange mixed bubbles
This is how we see Onyx talking for a good portion of the early comic. Their speech bubbles are a clean mix of Steven’s pink and Jasper’s orange. And most vitally, the color on the top and the tail signifies which of them is “fronting” at that moment.
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(Episode 3: Page 11)
Style number four: White bubble with solid pink text
So far, this style has only been used to represent dialogue that is being spoken by Steven’s gem half exclusively. Which makes things very interesting, as in Steven’s own remembrances of shattering Jasper on the very first page of the comic, the line “I have been holding back!” is shown in this specific style, instead of the scribbly pink lettering that signifies internal discord.
There is one additional sub-style here- and this is the one moment where we get Onyx’s mixed bubble but WITH the solid pink text. 
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(Episode 3: Page 11)
I believe these two styles pretty much mean the same thing… only, the white/pink text is either viewed within memory or a metaphoric fusion mindscape where we the viewer are actually “seeing” Steven’s instability, and thus can “see” his gem half as a separate entity there. While, in reality, this is an argument Onyx is having with the disparate pieces of themself.
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(Episode 4: Page 9)
Style number five: Pink/orange tye-dye mixed bubbles
When you see that darker shade of pink start dappling into the standard mixed bubbles, this indicates that there are small whispers of Onyx’s true personality beginning to surface, instead of them constantly being wrested back and forth between Steven and Jasper’s conscious control.
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(Episode 4: Page 16)
Style number six: Pink/orange mixed bubbles, but with a darker pink tail
From this page onwards, Onyx’s speech bubbles always have their darker pink shading the tail no matter who is fronting. Sometimes there are little lines of another color etched out of it, and sometimes the tail is solid dark pink. I like to believe that when it’s solid, it means that Onyx is just a little closer to reaching a fully harmonious state than when it’s not.
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(Episode 9: Page 6)
Style number seven: Onyx speech/thought bubbles with a hint of pink/orange underlying
This style seems to signify moments where it’s still Onyx fully in control of themself and their actions/words/thoughts, but they’re taking subtle influence from their components or accessing their memory a bit.
These are all of the distinct styles I have caught so far, but quite honestly, it would not surprise me if I am missing something. All of this to say… pay close attention to the speech bubbles. They can tell you a lot about Onyx’s state of mind throughout the story.
Now with all this established, I’d like to finish off this first post with my first big discussion point.
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Question One: What does Jasper actually know about Steven’s “meltdown,” if anything?
The AU author recently solidified this comic’s placement in the SUF timeline in an ask response, saying that the first episode takes place just a week after Steven’s corruption event.
I’m glad this point was clarified, because it was super vital information which deeply influenced the way I analyzed Steven’s actions and responses in my recent re-read… it means this experience is still super raw for him. This is VERY important and we’ll get back to this in more depth later in future posts. But first, let’s explore what Jasper knows of this event.
The full extent of her knowledge is unclear-
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(Episode 1: Page 6)
In Episode 1, Steven briefly alludes to his corruption as seen above… referring to it as “[his] meltdown.” Notably, Jasper does not seem to ask any questions about this stray comment. This COULD suggest that she knows what happened to him a week prior via hearsay, but given the context of the rest of the scene and the fact that she’s as isolated as she is out here I genuinely wonder if she thinks Steven’s so-described “meltdown” is his shattering of her.
This idea would make a good deal of sense, as she doesn’t start to make any commentary on the topic of corruption at all until they’re actually fused- with Steven bringing it up first.
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(Episode 2: Page 14)
On this page, Steven takes note of Onyx’s very visible spikes (which are Overtly in the same placement as his own when he was corrupted), and initiates the musing upon his own corruption himself.
With the way Jasper phrases her response, the vibe I get is that she somehow gleans a bit of ambient shared knowledge about what happened to him through their fusion.
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(Episode 2: Page 15) 
“That human form you wear must have been hiding your markings.” This quote is SUPER vital. We’ll come back to this later on in this post series, too.
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(Episode 2: Page 15)
It’s clear that Jasper doesn’t REALLY understand what he went through or what caused it, since she then outright mistakes the casual woes and body pains of organic life as corruption. (As seen above.) 
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(Episode 8: Page 4)
But later on, she outright relates to him over their shared experience of past corruption, so she must at least know enough from mere ambient thought-sharing by this point to recognize it happened.  
It’s obvious that she’s barely scratched the surface on fully understanding her fusion partner, though. Neither of them have. It’s gonna take a lot of fusion, comedic mishaps, and genuine conversation to get there. All in good time, I’m sure.
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Please do join me tomorrow at 7am PST for the next post in this series! This has been a blast to write up and muse upon.
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todayimfour · 3 days
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*peaks out from behind a curtain*
HERE YA GO!!
*runs* (Referencing this post)
One
Sundrop was confused, he had been picking up the daycare for a good bit and was just about to run the ball cleaner for the ball pit when he found her. Tucked away in a corner between the pit and wall was a little girl, she was sound asleep with her thumb in her mouth and a worn bear tightly in her arm. He didn't want to wake her but it was late and the Pizzaplex was closed for the night, meaning she was left or forgotten. Sundrop didn't want to think about which one was worse. The animatronic could almost feel his friend’s sneer as he heard the familiar voice that has stayed in his head as of late.
'Well? Wake her up, see if she knows her parents phone number. You know the protocol.' Sun reluctantly crouched down Spider-Man style and started gently coaxing her awake. She stirred and did a sweet yawn-stretch combo before sitting up and promptly putting her thumb back in her mouth. The girl blinked up at the tall fellow, her expression unclear. If the Sun had to guess she was probably about three.
"Good Morning Sunshine!" Sundrop said with a flourish, falling back comfortably into the bright persona. Seeing the girl smile he continued. "Do you know where you are?" The girl looked away from the Jester-like man and tooked around the room, her expression went from looking sleepy but content to worried and anxiously frowning. She mumbled behind her thumb.
"It's big" her voice sounded so small and wavored in anxiety that no child should have to have. The sun followed her eyes, to any kid that small it would seem really big… and now that he thought about it, she didn't seem to have a guest profile. Was she even supposed to be in the daycare?
"I guess it is pretty big in here, is that why you came here to take a nap? It does look pretty cozy" she nodded her head with a very small 'uh-huh' this kid would be the one to finally kill Sundrop with how cute she was.
'No! Get a hold of yourself Sunny. The name?' Moon said with an air of annoyance. Sun's smile faltered for a moment before standing and offering his hand to help the girl up.
"What's your name sweetheart?" She reached for his hand but was just too short, her 'eep!' of surprise when he extended his arm slightly to grab her hand was precious.
"I'm Ray and this is Ricky" she said, showing off her bear. Sun reached down and picked up Ray, sitting her on his hip and offering his other hand to the well loved bear.
"Well hello to you Ricky! Why don't you both come with me?" Ray let out a giggle and made Ricky shake hands with the Sunny man. After doing so she leaned on the animatronic, resting her head on his shoulder and sliding her thumb back into her mouth.
'Isn't she kind of old for that?' he could hear the moon point out, Sun had to admit to himself that he was probably right.
'Maybe, but if it helps, who am I to stop her?' he responded internally. "Actually.." he trailed off unintentionally as he quickly went to an off room within the daycare. The walls were painted a light blue with off-white puffy clouds and the ceiling was a darker indigo, the light in the center was painted to look like a moon with star themed mobiles hanging above many cots and cribs for sleeping little ones. On the back wall was built in cabinets and countertops, a fridge to the side for keeping formula and medication to temperature.
These cabinets mostly housed an abundance of supplies, Sundrop was looking for one thing in particular. He set Ray on a countertop and started looking in the drawers. Usually Moon was the one in charge of this area so he’s not entirely sure where anything is. Making an 'ah-hah!' noise when he found the right drawer. He found a basic pastel green pacifier still in it's packaging and pulled it out, rinsing it quickly in the sink on the other end of the countertops before presenting the item to the drowsy girl. She looked at it worryingly as if it was poisened for a moment before shaking her head, denying herself the comfort item.
“Dont you want it Sunshine? It's a lot safer than your fingers, plus you have your hands free to play!” The sunny man tried several times to convince her but everytime she denied it, it was clear she was tired and getting fussy so he just asked. “Why not, Little Star?” in a soft voice, pulling a page from Moon's book. He was trying to comfort her more than anything else. She seemed to be riling herself up about this. Tears were making their way to her eyes and she shoved her head into her bear's face, hugging it tightly.
“Dont wanna get in trouble! Mama took all da pacis away.. she sayed I'm too big!” her raised voice was muffled by the bear but Sundrop could understand clearly. This brought sun so many questions, but for now he just put the small plastic item on the counter top and scooted the crying child off of the counter and into his arms. He cradled Ray in his arms for a few moments, rocking back and forth softly. Allowing her to get her over tired tears out of her system. When the crys reduced to sniffles he shifted her slightly so he had a free hand and grabbed the pacifier once more.
“I dont know about you,” he started, “but i dont see your Mom anywhere. It can be our little secret.” he finished. Offering it again to the exhausted child. This time she looked at the offer and then into Sun’s eyes. There was a hopeful expression to her eyes before she opened her mouth, accepting the comfort item. A seconds later, after seeing she wouldn’t immediately get it taken away, she let herself relax into Sun’s arms again. Sun chuckled to himself.
“Isnt that better?” he asked rhetorically, resuming his light swaying back and forth. Checking time it was almost two o’clock and Ray was already falling back asleep. He could tell that Moon was less than happy about not getting much information but he figured they could always get it in the morning. He laid Ray down in one of the cots and covered her in a blanket, dimmed the lights and left before his systems could react to the low lights. He ignored the ache in his moving parts. He still needed to report this to security but she could stay here where it's safe for now.
~
"Yep, that's another kid." Officer Mira let out a sigh, why couldn't kids just go home at night? They were still working on clearing up the Afton Virus that had corrupted most of the bots and now a new younger one was left with one of the bots that has it the worst?? Unbelievable. The pink haired woman just shook her head and turned towards her friend, the bot in question. "Did you run her through the system to find her parents?"
"I would but all I've got is her first name, she was really tired last night" Sundrop said, his usual energetic persona gone as he allowed his feelings to show in close company. After Vanessa got fired Mira got promoted to head of security. Before she was working in the daycare as a security guard, Sun and Moon were both so proud of her for her promotion.
Mira took a good look at the animatronic, he wasn't in good shape, he looked like he hadn't recharged at all since yesterday. Not to mention his paint was chipping and he had dents and scratches all over his body.
"When was the last time you went to parts and services? Or even recharged? You're a mess" she said, changing the subject. She had a fond but worried smile on her face.
"Oh, am I?" The question caught Sunny off guard, he looked down at himself noticing many things that in the past he would have gotten fixed immediately. "It's not much, I should be fine. I want to be here when Ray wakes up." He took note of the time, almost 6am. This would be his last chance to recharge before kids would start getting here.
The Sun walked into the nursery, past the cots and straight to a window. He opened the blinds and just stood directly in the sunlight. He could feel Mira watching him but he didn't care, he refused to put anyone in danger. What sounded like a very large switch marked the start of the hour and the whole building went dark, a look of realization took over Mira's face. The two just looked at each other, Mira with concern in her eyes being met with tired determination from Sun. Sun squinted slightly, he could feel his perpetual headache getting worse.
After a few moments the lights turned back on, Sun visibility relaxed and closed the blinds. Before either one of them could say anything Ray stirred in the cot, catching Sunny's attention. Seemingly full of energy again he was next to the cot in seconds, crouching down low so he could be on her level. She sat up with her eyes still closed and grabbed an arm full of blanket and her bear before promptly flopping her head into the soft lump she had made. Sun chuckled to himself.
"Good morning Sunshine! I guess you're still pretty sleepy, huh?" Ray let out a groan in response, then lifted her head to look at Sundrop. She let out a small whine and reached towards the animatronic, wordlessly asking to be picked up. Who was Sun to deny such a simple request? Making sure to grab the bear and pacifier as well he scooped Ray up into his arms.
"Did you sleep well little one?" He asked. She nodded, her thumb tried to make Its way into her mouth but Sun caught on and stopped her, quickly giving her the pacifier instead.
Ray looked up at him, giving him a wide smile that nearly caused him to short circuit. Ray reached her hand up and touched one of Sun's triangle shaped rays on the side of his head. She looked from the ray to Sun's eyes, just looking back and forth seemingly thinking. Sunny just watched her curiously until she took her hand away and looked at Sun with a very serious expression.
"Your head is pointy'' she said as if she was telling him he was dying. Sun couldn't help but let out a cackle, nearly doubling over in laughter at the absurdity. Mira who was watching all of this go on was also laughing.
"You're absolutely right, kid! Sun is very pointy." She said as Sun was attempting to regain his composure. It was harder than Sun would like to admit. He stood up straight and immediately got startled, he hadn't realized that Mira had walked closer.
"Okay! Ray, this is my good friend Mira. She's going to ask you a few questions, okay?" It didn't even look like Ray had known she was being told things. She was just staring at Mira with wide eyes. Not out of fear but out of wonder and amazement, she reached out a hand to her face. The woman decided to go with it and brought her head closer, wanting to see what Ray thought of her. The tiny thinker felt the thick curls that made up Mira's ponytail, making a noise of excitement before looking back up to Sun.
"Her hair is pink!!" Was said with such excitement in the little girl's voice. Sun nodded excitedly, matching her energy.
"It is, I made it pink with a magic potion a few days ago" Mira wiggled her fingers 'magically' to add excitement. "To tell you the truth, I'm actually a witch. I use my witchy powers to keep kids safe at Pizzaplex." She whispered that bit as if her identity was a secret. "Promise you won't tell anyone?" She put her pinking finger out for a pinkie promise. Ray nodded her head quickly and made the pinkie promise.
"Do you think you would be okay to go with Mira to her office to chat?" Sunny asked. Ray nodded enthusiastically at the idea of going with a witch.
"Can Ricky come too?" She grabbed her bear and hugged him close to her chest.
"Of course he can come!" Mira responded. "You know, witches and bears are really good friends."
Sun transferred Ray to Mira's arms and the two left for her office. Leaving Sunny to prepare for the kids that would no doubt start showing up soon.
~
By the time Ray had been dropped back off to the daycare there was a good handful of kids there. Ray went off to go play and Sun met officer Mira at the door. He rubbed his eyes and forehead lightly, he had a headache that just would not go away.
“It's worse than I thought,” Mira said, “her mom’s a real piece of work. She’s going to have to stay here while I get CPS involved.” Mira had a scowl across her face, one that made sure Sun knew not to ask. “I don't know how long she’ll have to stay, could be days or weeks or who knows. If she tries to pick Ray up just call for me and keep that bitch away from Ray.”
“Woah there, are you okay? You hardly ever swear, is it that bad?” Sun asked, not bothering to hide the surprise out of his voice. Mira reached behind Sun to fully close the door so the kids wouldn't hear then took a breath to calm herself.
She then continued to go off about everything she learned about Ray's mom. From what Sun could make out it sounded like unfortunately common alcoholism and neglect. There was something else that Mira was saying but there was a ringing in Sun's ear that was making it hard to pay attention. His vision was going in and out of focus and the edges of his eyes looked darker than they should. He remembered hearing Moon telling him to sit down but it sounded like Moon was far behind him, then nothing.
~
"Alright Fazbear, it's just for a few hours. You deal with kids all day, what's a few anklebiters?" Monty said, firmly patting the bear’s back, Freddy was still not entirely sure this was a good idea. Apparently, Sunny had collapsed and they needed him to drop by as a 'special guest' to watch the kids for a few hours.
"But they're smaller, and brake a lot easier, and a lot faster, I would not want to hurt them-"
"You'll be fine!" Mira cut him off, "The kid's love you, and it's only for a few hours. I'll be there too."
~.°~.°~.°~
Most of this was written over two years ago so I'm, I've got these ideas but my writing style has probably changed a bunch
Also in the original draft of this, Rey was A LOT more traumatized istg it was Wattpad levels of just trauma dumping with a little bit of plot
Also sun wasn't supposed to collapse so soon into the story but I guess it works
I'll make it work
I did that thing where I stored all the lore in my head for months before I actually wrote anything down.
-side note: system wise, Sun and Moon remember some of my original 'lore' for this fic as source mems and I feel AWFUL about it-
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anonymooose · 1 day
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==== Spoilers for Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi! ====
Ok, so, I randomly saw a post by @corvidonia about Falin!Hypnos.
So, I thought to myself, y'know I just started watching too and this seems like a fun mini-project so I started it. Then I subsequently got way too into it and accidently made a whole rendered scene and au concept... welp! It's here now!
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For this little crossover Au whatever you wanna call it I did this main drawing but also came up with a bit of background stuff.
In this Meg would be a tall-man paladin in a sort of Chilchuck situation where she's mostly here because it's her job (and bonus, Dusa's here) and she'd be a paladin. Paladin might be an odd choice (?) but I felt it made sense due to her dedication and none of the other martial classes really stuck out to me like paladin.
Zagreus would be the party's Laios of sorts and a fighter tall-man, I imagine that the reason why they went through all the trouble for Hypnos is 50% Zagreus being friends with him and 49% Than not wanting his brother dead and 1% pity. I don't know if there would still be the culinary focus in this Au, probably not, so maybe instead it'd be more about just general monster knowledge. Like Zag and the gang filling out the codex?
Dusa would be a Half-foot, probably the farthest from their Dungeon Meshi inspo character, Senshi, only really sharing the fact that they came into the party late. I imagine that she's kind of in an "I'm the only monster around that has any sentience or emotion??" type situation though I don't really have a worked out reason why. She's also friends with Meg prior to joining and comes because of her.
I translated Thanatos and Hypnos' godhood into having a particular magical ability as elves, so they're elf twins. Than being a sorcerer rouge mostly for the vibes but also because sorcerer powers are innate to their being. Instead of a wand/staff I think he'd just use his scythe as a casting focus. I figure he'd be sort of like a mix of Chilchuck and Marcille, not bound to the party by a job but still kind of obligated to help Hypnos since they're family and all. I don't think he'd be thrilled about having to risk his life to save Hypnos from another screw up though, but he would and I do think he'd be relieved to have him back after the ordeal. (does Falin ever actually 100% come back? I've only watched the anime so idk actually, I like to think Hypnos would here though because I like my happy endings)
Hypnos is obviously the sort of Falin stand-in, but in a very different way I think. I do think he'd be a sort of magic prodigy like Falin but in more of an intuitive way compared to Than/Marcille's book smarts. I definitely think that the connection to the strange would remain but instead of ghosts it'd be personified dreams in the form of something like the Oneiroi. In this Au the starting incident with the monster would be the same but it'd probably be some sort of big bird/sheep to explain the bird/sheep design I went with for the Chimera design and it'd be Than in place of Laios. I also think that he'd be a cleric type situation like Falin sort of is, I like to think he'd excel at healing magic. I do kind of like the idea of Hypnos not being really encouraged to partake in adventuring due to his lack of physical ability but he'd go against that to spend time with Than and try to look out for him. As for Chimeros (As I've been calling it) I think it'd be accompanied by fog from Lethe rather than the harpies in the original and it'd have a similarly blank personality like Faligon (which'd be especially off-putting from him). Added angst potential, I figure his powerset would be very different from Faligon's and revolve around putting everyone to sleep (go figure) and memory erasure, so maybe the main party wouldn't even remember their first encounter with them?
I do actually have ideas for the remaining party, I'll keep it to one bullet though. I think Achille's would be a paladin/fighter or something like that and would be similar to Namari as a weapons expert, probably leaving for a different reason though maybe to join Pat's party? I don't have a particular idea for Shuro's stand-in, maybe switch the Shuro Falin romance thing to Charon Hypnos brotherhood thing and it could work? Idk though.
I did also make a full design for Hypnos as an elf/not Chimeros and here that is. The staff is inspired by actual myth where Hypnos sometimes has a wand dipped in Lethe to induce sleep.
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Ramble over!! Congrats if you were able to push through my incessant yapping to actually get here. First Tumblr post btw, who would've thunk it'd be for this. If anyone is interested in using these designs or ideas for art/writing feel free, I'm probably not going to do anything else with this idea but if you want to I'd be very interested in seeing/hearing it! Also, really sorry if this isn't properly spoilered?? I'm not exactly sure what the proper spoiler etiquette is so I tried.
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sailorsally · 7 months
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Misha on homophobia when he was growing up & his children's pronouns (x)
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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mattodore · 4 months
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he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail
#sorry matthias </3 maybe he'll pick up the next time you try calling............ <- me when i lie#river dipping#ts4#ts4 edit#gifs#theodore doe#echthroi#hi friends and lovers hope everyone's doing well <3#i got my old laptop to work so i have a laptop again even if the battery on it is messed up#but still#i haven't been online much bc i've started getting dizzy from staring at computer/phone screens for too long#and in particular the act of scrolling either on mobile or desktop makes my head spin and my eyes hurt :/#but i powered through it yesterday so i could get in game with theo (and matthias) since i missed him really bad... oc plague be upon ye#i took... well. like five hundred screenshots and forty videos... i was in the soup. the mattodore soup. what can i say?#i don't like posting too much on here bc. i'm crazy (<- has avpd) so i probably won't post much from yesterday's fun here#but i'll post whatever i want on pillowfort <3 pic of jerma holding out his hand captioned let's take mattodore together#what else should i say before leaving... right my inbox... well i'll get to it eventually <- have been saying this since october sorry#but okay i've been staring at my screen too long so i need to go lay down for a bit#enjoy theo in motion!! if you’re a theo-head like myself#theodite à la jermamite? hm. its in the works. i’m workshopping.#mentioning jerma twice in these tags… busting a cyanide pill onto my tongue i’ve said too much#i have to go now mwah mwah mwah bye warmth and love to you mwah
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hallo-queen-31 · 7 months
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A Mer!Heathcliff for an AU of mine ... had a lot of fun drawing him.
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hecksupremechips · 2 months
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Can we talk about mitsuham I think we should talk about mitsuham yes I’d like that very much
Imagine Mitsuru her life has been planned out for her by a bunch of men her choices are not hers to make every move is political she is nothing but a tool forced to fight as a child never allowed to burden anyone with her feelings. Her life isn’t hers, it’s never been hers for a second, she exists to further the careers of the men around her. The first two friends she makes are both boys and she was in charge of leading them, using them just to further the Kirijo agenda. Genuine friendship did blossom between them, but things fell apart pretty quickly. Shinjiro can’t control Castor, something is seriously wrong with him, he kills someone, then he leaves and the Kirijos cover it up. Was it to protect him, or to protect themselves? Mitsuru certainly doesn’t know anymore but she’s lost a friend and can’t reach him again, he’s too traumatized by personas and Akihiko is still there but he’s always so stuck on Shinjiro and Mitsuru feels like she failed both of them. Just more men for her to let down by not being good enough
Then there’s Kotone. Sweet, strong, clumsy, talented Kotone. She’s so bubbly and friendly, but behind those warm smiles is horrible loneliness. Pain. But she’s never ever gonna let anyone see that. She busies herself by taking care of everyone else, listening to their problems and never burdening them with her own feelings. She can just fix everything and make everyone happy if she works herself hard enough. She just has this way about her, so reliable and so kind
And Mitsuru watches Kotone from above. Trusts her to be the leader, or maybe she just wanted to push a burden onto someone else for a change. Someone who’s able to take on burdens with a smile for fucks sake. And Kotone leads, seemingly effortlessly, and is able to recruit several members in a short time and achieve just so much more than Mitsuru could in her entire lifetime. Just, perfectly. Without even possessing any prior knowledge of the dark hour or personas. And she does this while being so emotional, so social, so weird, so fucking cute, it’s absolutely nauseating. This should be fine, right? It’s what Mitsuru’s always wanted, for someone else to ease her burden. And hell, it’s a woman too, a woman who’s perfectly capable of doing it all without a bunch of men helping her. It’s inspiring, isn’t it?
But there’s the pain. The envy. Kotone is perfect and she doesn’t even have to try. Mitsuru on the other hand has been shaving herself down to nothing just to be allowed a place. She makes the perfect grades and wears the beautiful clothes and applies the fucking makeup and is mature for her age and never speaks out or feels anything that could possibly make her be seen as a human, a filthy fucking human. So why does a woman as unashamed as Kotone get to have it all? And why is Mitsuru still here, still acting as the Kirijo tool, still doing whatever she possibly can to hurt herself to make a man feel better? Why isn’t she useful anywhere? It’s not fair
And then when she actually spends the time with Kotone she’s trying so hard to be that wise and mature figure she’s always been, trying so hard to force herself to smile through the pain, but she’s talking to someone who can see right through that shit cuz Kotone Shiomi invented lying through her teeth to make others feel better. It’s annoying really, how Kotone is supposed to be the childish one, yet it’s Mitsuru who can’t get it together and can’t seem to look into those bright eyes without breaking. And Kotone isn’t disgusted by what she sees, even though Mitsuru is being unreasonable and emotional and talking about wanting to run away and how much she hates her life and how she’s not only eating fast food but enjoying it, letting herself enjoy an indulgence that won’t make her pretty anymore. No, Kotone sees this and listens and encourages it and celebrates it, celebrates how utterly human Mitsuru is. She holds her hand and says "let me take on your burden". And it’s horrible, this kindness, Mitsuru hasn’t even broken all her bones to make Kotone happy, so why is she being so fucking nice? And then something breaks, and Kotone defends her. Stands up for her against a man. Lets herself once again take a hit to protect someone else. And it’s just too familiar, too much to fucking bear, and it pisses Mitsuru the fuck off. And she is able to tell a man to go fuck himself, because no one gets to fucking talk to this girl like she isn’t the most amazing person ever to exist. Not after everything she’s done, everything she still does, not after giving her all and never once asking for anything in return. And in standing up for Kotone, Mitsuru is able to stand up for herself for the first time in her life. And she looks at Kotone and says "let’s take on each other’s burdens"
Oh and also they watch a scary movie together and hold hands and ride a motorcycle and Mitsuru calls Kotone adorable I mean that’s pretty gay man
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#some Things#in no particular order and of no particular importance#but posted here to get them out of my head so that I can focus on other stuff (and so that I have a record of them for later):#1) I spent an hour this morning taking various ASD/autistic traits tests and consistently scored just above the threshold on all of them#this doesn't really tell me anything new#except that I'm probably not faking it or just trying to make myself feel 'special' whenever I feel like I'm not myself#and have to put a lot of effort into Being Normal in public settings#almost all of the tests had a strong emphasis on masking and social competency skills and that's where I was scoring highest#I suspect that this only further confirms my suspicions that I am neurodivergent (prob ADHD) and due to my educational style#and the setting and circumstances of most of my childhood development years#did not realize that I was Odd until very recently#2) I just discovered that the lead pastor of the church attended by a theologian/apologist/bible teacher who I really respect#and enjoy learning from#got his first degree from the uni I want to attend#this also means nothing. but it was a fun discovery.#I have heard that the school has changed a good bit since the time he would've graduated#in ways that I'm not sure I can judge as fully Good or Bad.#but it's encouraging to know that it has a history and a name out there that's mostly a good one#...I feel like there is at least one more Thing I am forgetting to mention but I cannot remember it at the mo so I will return and add it#if I do happen to remember it later on#personal
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I keep thinking of that reply in my Odysseus/Agamemnon post about how I regard differently Odysseus' and Agamemnon's actions, while acknowledging that at times Agamemnon is written as a sweet man and Odysseus is always straight up shitty, and how it was taken as some sort of defense for Agamemnon and as a form of pointing out the double standard; and that wasn't at all what the post was about for me, even though I can see where they were coming from. To be honest, given I didn't imagine it would spread anywhere other than my own blog, I didn't explain myself very well (or at all).
The fact is that when I talked about Odysseus not caring about hurting someone else's child to start and end a war I was indeed comparing his actions to Agamemnon's, but my words about supporting Odysseus' wrongs and cheering him in his terrible actions, while in a joking tone, weren't entirely a joke. I do think that Odysseus does some very shitty acts, and some quite terrible ones depending on the sources. That's a fact, that he does is at the core of his characterisation and it's what makes him so much fun; but not even when he is at his most cruel does he harm his family, his own son. Agamemnon, while sweet and loving at times in some texts, at his worst is willing to sacrifice Iphigenia. When readers regard with more sympathy Odysseus over Agamemnon despite both being responsible for children dying, I don't think there's a double standard in this aspect at all considering it's never his own kid Odysseus harms. And that's the key, I think.
Odysseus and Agamemnon have very different priorities, a very different view on loyalty and duty. It could be said that Agamemnon acts out of selfishness, but it could also be read in a kinder light, saying that Agamemnon is ruled by the gods first, and by his role as head of the achaeans; Agamemnon is not entirely himself. In opposition we see Odysseus acting perhaps mainly for himself and his own family and men; yes, he is a king, but he has not the role Agamemnon has. As a consequence, Agamemnon submits his family's wellbeing to the war, to the gods, while Odysseus stops the plow before hurting Telemachus but is (depending on the source) the cause of Iphigenia's sacrifice and Astyanax's death.
Both Odysseus and Agamemnon have reasons to support their actions, and both can be sympathised with; it's fiction after all. When it comes to fiction, at the end of the day which character a reader is drawn to or sympathises with is mainly an issue of personal taste, but I suppose it also implies a certain level of one's own views or preferences on morals, what makes us find certain actions more justifiable, or tasteful (perhaps that's a more accurate word), than others. Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter, no matter how sympathetic or understandable the reason, generally sits worse on people than Odysseus doing the same with someone else's kids, because they're someone else's. This different emotional reaction they provoke has place not just metanarratively, but also inside the very story; it is narratively significant, given it determines how their arrival home plays out, how their wives react to them, and thus their futures. Ultimately it determines whether they live or die.
I think both terrible acts go in line wonderfully with each characterisation, showcasing the role they hold in their world, what they value, what they care for, what they're willing to sacrifice for themselves and the others, how much of their own they're willing to give and bend. While looking at the wider picture it could perhaps be drawn that Agamemnon is the better person out of the two, but Odysseus' selfish actions are perhaps easier to empathise with, especially from a modern viewpoint. Odysseus is treacherous and prone to betrayal, but not against his own; Agamemnon follows the rules of the gods. How fitting in that context that Odysseus doesn't die at the end of his story, that he cheats the death heroes so often are fated to, almost as if cheating the narrative itself, bending the rules of the world he is ascribed to; how fitting in the context of those texts that point towards Sisyphus being his father. But that's another topic, and I've already talked a lot.
#Don't get me wrong. Odysseus is super shitty and this is a 'pick your poison' kind of situation#But I don't really think there's a double standard when it comes to the kids situation given that Odysseus doesn't sacrifice his own kid#I really think that's what lies at the core of this. Does that make him shittier and more selfish and a worse person? Actually yeah perhaps#But we are no kings with thousands of people depending on our decision yet cringe at the idea of hurting people close to us#It feels like betrayal. And this is where the moral preference takes the role. Which do you prefer? The one that would betray their family#for the greater good or the one who'd sell the world for their family and themselves? It's interesting because#while in fiction the first option is often the most frown upon while selfish actions for the beloved are easy to sympathise with‚#in reality these are usually worse regarded. I didn't want to go there because I already wrote so much it didn't fit in the tags#but I actually think the same thing happens with Galahad/Lancelot. Heathcliff/Edgar I'd say has a somewhat similar situation going on#There are many many examples but mainly I was thinking of Galahad and Lancelot#So this is not an 'Odysseus did nothing wrong'. This is an 'Odysseus did many things very wrong but he didn't kill his son#so while both him and Agamemnon were the cause of death of kids‚ their action are not the same so there's no double standard regarding#the particular action of sacrificing Iphigenia. In fiction that kind of betrayal makes characters often unlikeable'#I guess that action 'stains' the view under which Agamemnon's actions are seen and so his character is often seen under a darker light#He is presented a bit as an antagonistic presence opposed to Achilles who is very popular so I guess that also influences this?#Anyway I've been elated by the musical causing Odysseus art and posts but I do have noticed that he is very goodified in it and that#it has influenced how he is being regarded around here (the way it happened with The Song of Achilles as well I suppose)#And I must say I like that less. He is shitty in a fun way but not in a light way. He is very shitty#Definitely not better than Agamemnon depending on the perspective you take. I can't believe I'm 'defending' Agamemnon#He is not my thing at all I'm all for selfish actions for oneself and the loved ones through manipulation‚#lies and scams and letting the world drown if needed. In fiction Lancelot's‚ Odysseus' and Heathcliff's actions are a lot more preferible#to me than Galahad's‚ Agamemnon's and Edgar's. But yeah#I ALSO didn't want to go there because again it would have take me forever and I would run out of tags (yet here I am)#but there's also a Priam/Hector/Paris comparison in how they act and how they're regarded to be drawn here#Agamemnon/Iphigenia‚ Priam/Hector/Paris‚ Odysseus/Telemachus. And that is not even including everything with Elektra/Clytemnestra/Orestes#or Oedipus and his own family for that matter#But yes. I'll better shut up already. I'm talking a lot more than I intended#I just found that discussion super enthralling and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I still can't#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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ralsriel · 1 year
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They're new compared to WTNV
I mean, wtnv came out in 2012 as well and all. The post wasn't supposed to be very serious and was moreso supposed to be a lighthearted joke post.
We're all old in here, please don't start fights over it or spam my ask box. thanks.
#not directed at this anon in particular#but man#you all I know wtnv is old too#I just don't like it when people pull the whole#'and that's why it's superior and all of those younglings and baby queers don't know their roots!!' etc#like lots of 'younglings' are literally 20+ years old and also while wtnv definitely had some positive influence on current media etc#not everyone was interested in horror/unreality podcast media back then which is also fine#and I don't really want people to shame others for their media choices#that being said most of the medias outside of mp100 got popular at the time of their releases#someone claimed sdr2 only got popular in 2016 at the time of the steam release but that's definitely inaccurate#and ignores stuff like the something awful forums translations which then led to the official translations and the whole kin drama thing#same with UT apparently only blowing up much later than its release which... it really didn't?#idk. it's just weird to me when people pull the whole 'those are your ROOTS and I feel patriotic about this whole thing!' thing#we're all just here to have a fun time#cecil is cool and I'm sure wtnv has been a positive influence on tumbr#but at the same time... some of the comments I've seen and also some of the asks I've gotten#are a bit uncomfortable.#please tone it down? thanks? like this anon is still fine but also someone else literally called me names and I don't even feel comfortable#posting that ask#it's just a silly post about silly clown men (affectionate) on tumblr#so uh... yeah! tldr please don't be a jerk thanks
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arthur-r · 1 year
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i love (love) (/not correct not sincere this is an untrue fact about myself) dissociating at band practice and then being expected to sing about wanting to kill myself it’s so fun
#fuck. like i’m the person writing these songs but they are not for these moments#catharsis is something you can experience while you have some semblance of a will to live. not when you are staring into space blankly#feeling like a broken person. and actually at that very moment wanting to die#anyway i’ll be okay. just got home. this mom and kid were in the elevator with me up to the apartment and the mom recognized my cello#(​as being a cello i mean) and asked me about it and i told her i’m in a punk band about it and she said that’s the coolest thing#so that was good and cool. and they live on the third floor i live on the first so i might not see them again. but it was nice#and band was fine. and my band likes my song. but sometimes it actually is bad to sing about this stuff sometimes#(especially because it’s like. this particular song is also about. insecurities in relationship. and i’m able to play the song because i#don’t really feel those insecurities as much any more and i’m in a better place with regards to. not spiralling about being loved. however#that only applies to the relationship insecurities of that moment. when i was writing it. and i went a while without developing new ones#but now there’s a lot of irl friendships that feel as unstable as i felt at that time. and so now the song means something to me directly#and now it hurts again. and it’s not good. i’m like scared for certain people to ever hear it)#anyway my mom and little sister are actively waiting for me to come out of the bathroom where i sit typing this. and tell them how band was#and whatever i say will not involve any of these facts. but i sure have to go say it#so idk. i love you guys. struggling a bit. but i’ll be okay. scary current relationships mentioned = nobody here i feel pretty stable#i have built relationships that i feel confident about. with the most important people. and that is really good and i’m glad#there are other newer scarier relationships that i am going insane about. a teacher and two students and a coworker. wish me luck#anyway i have to go. but yeah. idk. i’m so tired. heading out now. be back in a bit#me. my post. mine.#delete later#suicide mention#ask to tag#vent cw#(kind of)#friends only
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jaeyooniverse · 1 year
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hwi's fancafe update ^-^ (cr.)
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alfheimr · 16 days
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My Favorite Cheap Art Trick: Gradient Maps and Blending Modes
i get questions on occasion regarding my coloring process, so i thought i would do a bit of a write up on my "secret technique." i don't think it really is that much of a secret, but i hope it can be helpful to someone. to that end:
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this is one of my favorite tags ive ever gotten on my art. i think of it often. the pieces in question are all monochrome - sort of.
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the left version is the final version, the right version is technically the original. in the final version, to me, the blues are pretty stark, while the greens and magentas are less so. there is some color theory thing going on here that i dont have a good cerebral understanding of and i wont pretend otherwise. i think i watched a youtube video on it once but it went in one ear and out the other. i just pick whatever colors look nicest based on whatever vibe im going for.
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this one is more subtle, i think. can you tell the difference? there's nothing wrong with 100% greyscale art, but i like the depth that adding just a hint of color can bring.
i'll note that the examples i'll be using in this post all began as purely greyscale, but this is a process i use for just about every piece of art i make, including the full color ones. i'll use the recent mithrun art i made to demonstrate. additionally, i use clip studio paint, but the general concept should be transferable to other art programs.
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for fun let's just start with Making The Picture. i've been thinking of making this writeup for a while and had it in mind while drawing this piece. beyond that, i didn't really have much of a plan for this outside of "mithrun looks down and hair goes woosh." i also really like all of the vertical lines in the canary uniform so i wanted to include those too but like. gone a little hog wild. that is the extent of my "concept." i do not remember why i had the thought of integrating a shattered mirror type of theme. i think i wanted to distract a bit from the awkward pose and cover it up some LOL but anyway. this lack of planning or thought will come into play later.
note 1: the textured marker brush i specifically use is the "bordered light marker" from daub. it is one of my favorite brushes in the history of forever and the daub mega brush pack is one of the best purchases ive ever made. highly recommend!!!
note 2: "what do you mean by exclusion and difference?" they are layer blending modes and not important to the overall lesson of this post but for transparency i wanted to say how i got these "effects." anyway!
with the background figured out, this is the point at which i generally merge all of my layers, duplicate said merged layer, and Then i begin experimenting with gradient maps. what are gradient maps?
the basic gist is that gradient maps replace the colors of an image based on their value.
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so, with this particular gradient map, black will be replaced with that orangey red tone, white will be replaced with the seafoamy green tone, etc. this particular gradient map i'm using as an example is very bright and saturated, but the colors can be literally anything.
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these two sets are the ones i use most. they can be downloaded for free here and here if you have csp. there are many gradient map sets out there. and you can make your own!
you can apply a gradient map directly onto a specific layer in csp by going to edit>tonal correction>gradient map. to apply one indirectly, you can use a correction layer through layer>new correction layer>gradient map. honestly, correction layers are probably the better way to go, because you can adjust your gradient map whenever you want after creating the layer, whereas if you directly apply a gradient map to a layer thats like. it. it's done. if you want to make changes to the applied gradient map, you have to undo it and then reapply it. i don't use correction layers because i am old and stuck in my ways, but it's good to know what your options are.
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this is what a correction layer looks like. it sits on top and applies the gradient map to the layers underneath it, so you can also change the layers beneath however and whenever you want. you can adjust the gradient map by double clicking the layer. there are also correction layers for tone curves, brightness/contrast, etc. many such useful things in this program.
let's see how mithrun looks when we apply that first gradient map we looked at.
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gadzooks. apologies for eyestrain. we have turned mithrun into a neon hellscape, which might work for some pieces, but not this one. we can fix that by changing the layer blending mode, aka this laundry list of words:
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some of them are self explanatory, like darken and lighten, while some of them i genuinely don't understand how they are meant to work and couldn't explain them to you, even if i do use them. i'm sure someone out there has written out an explanation for each and every one of them, but i've learned primarily by clicking on them to see what they do.
for the topic of this post, the blending mode of interest is soft light. so let's take hotline miamithrun and change the layer blending mode to soft light.
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here it is at 100% opacity. this is the point at which i'd like to explain why i like using textured brushes so much - it makes it very easy to get subtle color variation when i use this Secret Technique. look at the striation in the upper right background! so tasty. however, to me, these colors are still a bit "much." so let's lower the opacity.
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i think thats a lot nicer to look at, personally, but i dont really like these colors together. how about we try some other ones?
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i like both of these a lot more. the palettes give the piece different vibes, at which point i have to ask myself: What Are The Vibes, Actually? well, to be honest i didn't really have a great answer because again, i didn't plan this out very much at all. however. i knew in my heart that there was too much color contrast going on and it was detracting from the two other contrasts in here: the light and dark values and the sharp and soft shapes. i wanted mithrun's head to be the main focal point. for a different illustration, colors like this might work great, but this is not that hypothetical illustration, so let's bring the opacity down again.
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yippee!! that's getting closer to what my heart wants. for fun, let's see what this looks like if we change the blending mode to color.
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i do like how these look but in the end they do not align with my heart. oh well. fun to experiment with though! good to keep in mind for a different piece, maybe! i often change blending modes just to see what happens, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. i very much cannot stress enough that much of my artistic process is clicking buttons i only sort of understand. for fun.
i ended up choosing the gradient map on the right because i liked that it was close to the actual canary uniform colors (sorta). it's at an even lower opacity though because there was Still too much color for my dear heart.
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the actual process for this looks like me setting my merged layer to soft light at around 20% opacity and then clicking every single gradient map in my collection and seeing which one Works. sometimes i will do this multiple times and have multiple soft light and/or color layers combined.
typically at this point i merge everything again and do minor contrast adjustments using tone curves, which is another tool i find very fun to play around with. then for this piece in particular i did some finishing touches and decided that the white border was distracting so i cropped it. and then it's done!!! yay!!!!!
this process is a very simple and "fast" way to add more depth and visual interest to a piece without being overbearing. well, it's fast if you aren't indecisive like me, or if you are better at planning.
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let's do another comparison. personally i feel that the hint of color on the left version makes mithrun look just a bit more unwell (this is a positive thing) and it makes the contrast on his arm a lot more pleasing to look at. someone who understands color theory better than i do might have more to say on the specifics, but that's honestly all i got.
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just dont look at my layers too hard. ok?
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