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contemplativepancakes · 3 years

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Following the Thread Transcript

AKA all the "canon" there is of Aiden. Google doc to save for easy reference is here. Providing this is entirely selfish of me, please use it and write some lambden <3

EXT. SUPERVISOR’S BUILDING

GERALT approaches a GUARD standing outside of a door.

GUARD: Don’t like folk wandering around here.

GERALT: Oh yeah? Well, got a beast you need someone to get rid of? I’m here about the notice.

GUARD: Ah, supervisor Lund posted it. Yeah, a beast haunts the outskirts, murdering folk. Got ‘em scared to leave their homes after dark.

GERALT: I’d like to talk to this supervisor.

GUARD: Too bad he don’t receive petitioners.

GERALT: So what’s he do, exactly?

GUARD: Delivery relief on behalf of the city council—flour and groats for the paupers. Meaning, he don’t do it personally. He’s got men for that. He, himself, he, uh. (GESTURES BROADLY)

GERALT: Supervises.

GUARD: Exactly!

GERALT: I aim to hunt down this monster.

GUARD: Best hurry, then. Some other bloke’s already after it.

GERALT: Who took the contract?

GUARD: Didn’t see the man. Was just told some brave fool’d turned up.

GERALT: When’d you find the last victim?

GUARD: Just last night. Hubert, a beggar, but a decent man. I’d let him sleep in the shed from time to time—that one, on the right. Eustace hasn’t come for the corpse yet. It’s lying in there, where I found it.

GERALT: Any eyewitnesses to these attacks?

GUARD: No, just the bodies. Beast appears only at night, chooses isolated victims.

GERALT: Thanks. So long.

Geralt goes to the shed and examines it, finding a puddle of blood that’s not human, and Hubert’s body, which is drained of blood. There’s ekimmara tracks in the shed that Geralt follows along the river’s edge, until they disappear at a dock. Geralt swims across the river and finds the tracks again, leading him to another building. Geralt notes that’s there’s rat corpses outside that have been drained of blood.

INT. DARK HOUSE

There’s the sounds of combat upstairs, blade clashing, an ekimmara screeching, and a whoosh from aard. Geralt rushes up the stairs to see LAMBERT fighting the monster. They kill it together.

GERALT: Greetings, Lambert.

LAMBERT: Damn, it’s good to see you, Wolf.

GERALT: Decide to do some hunting in Novigrad? Far as I remember, you never liked this city.

LAMBERT: Still don’t. Thing is, got a certain matter to take care of.

GERALT: What have you been up to? Any luck on the path?

LAMBERT: A lot, in fact. Quite the takings in Lan Exeter. Was asked to hunt down a giant, who turned out to be a forest troll and some bandits.

GERALT: Bandits?

LAMBERT: (SHRUGS) Came as a package with the troll.

GERALT: The matter you mentioned, anything I can help with?

LAMBERT: Hmm. Maybe. But we’ll talk about that later. Got our reward to collect. I’m kinda in a hurry. Let’s say you’ve earned half, what the hell.

EXT. SUPERVISOR’S BUILDING

Geralt and Lambert approach the guard from earlier.

GUARD: So?

LAMBERT: What do you think? We did what we had to do. Time to pay up.

GUARD: Wait here, I’ll go see the supervisor, get your reward.

LAMBERT: Do that ourselves. No reason you should leave your post.

Geralt gives Lambert a sideways glance.

GUARD: Hmm, can’t argue with that logic. Go on in.

EXT SUPERVISOR’S BUILDING, COURTYARD

Lambert and Geralt approach SUPERVISOR LUND in an outdoor space. There’s three guards milling around.

LAMBERT: We dealt with the monster at the docks. Here for our reward.

LUND: Witchers? Since when do you travel in pairs?

LAMBERT: Lots of dangers for a lone witcher. Bandits, for example.

LUND: I’d advise you to change your tone.

LAMBERT: Where’s Jad Karadin? Talk!

GERALT: Who?

LAMBERT: Trust me, Geralt. This is important. There’s something I gotta know.

LUND: I do not know any Karadin. Take your coin for the before and bugger off before I lose my temper!

LAMBERT: (YELLING) Where’s Jad Karadin? Asking you for the last time!

LUND: Guards, to the dungeon with them!

Lund runs out of the courtyard, and Lambert chases after him, leaving Geralt to fight the three guards.

INT. SUPERVISOR’S BUILDING

Geralt walks inside to find Lund cowering from Lambert.

LAMBERT: This guy’s more trouble than the ekimmara.

LUND: Karadin’s disappeared. I swear! The others, too! I only know of Vienne.

LAMBERT: What about Vienne?

LUND: She drinks at the Seven Cats. There day and night.

LAMBERT: See? You can be helpful.

Lambert unsheathes his sword and stabs Lund in the gut while Geralt watches. Lund collapses to the floor. Lambert turns to look at Geralt in challenge.

GERALT: That was murder. Was that really necessary?

LAMBERT: Yes.

Geralt shakes his head.

LAMBERT (cont.): More guardsmen’ll show soon. Let’s go. Meet me at the Seven Cats. Tell you everything there.

GERALT: The tavern Vienne frequents?

LAMBERT: Yeah. See you later.

EXT. SEVEN CATS INN

Lambert is leaning against a rock when Geralt approaches him.

GERALT: All right. High time you explained some things. Why’d you kill Lund? What’s this all about?

LAMBERT: Want the short version or the long one?

GERALT: Lemme hear the whole thing.

LAMBERT: Had a friend. Aiden was his name.

GERALT: You? Had a friend?

LAMBERT: Oh, hi-fuckin’-larious. I met him soon after I'd accepted a contract to lift the curse from the Ogre of Ellander. Aiden had been hired to kill it. He was a witcher from the school of the cat.

GERALT: Far as I remember, the ogre was killed in the end.

LAMBERT: Yeah, after it gutted my employer, we really didn’t have a choice. I cut a deal with Aiden. We joined forces, split the reward for killing the ogre between us. After that, we worked together a lot. Hands down the best man I’d ever met. I mean, I like you, you know that. Still, no comparison.

GERALT: What happened to him?

LAMBERT: Some time ago, Aiden took on a contract to lift a curse off a duke’s daughter. It was a political mess from the start. Then there was the hatred for the school of the cat to deal with.

GERALT: They worked hard to deserve that hate. Basically hired assassins.

LAMBERT: (SNAPS) Aiden wasn’t like that. (PAUSES, LOOKS AWAY) Anyway, some of the duke’s courtier’s had designs. Weren’t all keen on the curse being lifted from the duke’s first born. So, a band of trained assassins ambushed Aiden, murdered him. Our dear supervisor was one of them.

GERALT: And Jad Karadin?

LAMBERT: The assassins’ leader. And the one to deal the mortal blow.

GERALT: Sorry about your friend.

LAMBERT: Don’t need your sympathy, just your help. (PUSHES OFF ROCK HE WAS LEANING ON TO STRAIGHTEN) We have to talk to Vienne. Must’ve had enough to drink by now. Let’s go.

INT. SEVEN CATS INN

Geralt and Lambert approach VIENNE, a lithe elvish woman wearing a deep cut purple blouse with her dark hair in a braid. She has a drinking glass in front of her where she sits alone at a table.

GERALT: Vienne?

VIENNE: What do you want?

LAMBERT: We wanna see Jad Karadin.

VIENNE: (LAUGHS) Now why would I help you?

GERALT: It’s really important to my friend here.

VIENNE: And what will I get out of it?

LAMBERT: Pay for your beer, for starters. Then we’ll see how valuable your information is.

VIENNE: (CONSIDERS, TAKES DRINK) I was part of Karadin’s band, but… When was that? I don’t know where to find him; I’ve fallen out with the lot.

Geralt sits at her table.

VIENNE (cont.): Besides, he’s no longer chummy with his old mates. Word around town is he’s changed.

Lambert sits down, also, now.

GERALT: Karadin’s changed? What do you mean?

VIENNE: He’s dropped all his old connections, stopped taking on petty killings. He’s hidden himself away in some hole. Must be planning something big.

GERALT: Who else was in Karadin’s band?

VIENNE: Aside from me? Selyse, Hammond, and Lund. But they’ve scattered all over the world. Selyse went to Tretogor, Hammond to Skellige, and Lund—

LAMBERT: Lund’s dead.

VIENNE: (CACKLES) Finally met his match. Well, you’ve only Hammond or Selyse to talk to, then.

GERALT: What about you? What’s your story?

VIENNE: Scoia'tael was decimated, so I joined Karadin. They never treated me as an equal. No. I could hit a sparrow from a hundred paces, but I was never good enough for Karadin. He always preferred that cunt Selyse…

LAMBERT: You have a hand in the murder of the witcher Aiden?

VIENNE: Perhaps. I don’t remember.

GERALT: We need information about Hammond.

VIENNE: Karadin’s right hand man, once. When the band broke up, he went back to Faroe whence he had come. He’s a pirate, now. Even the jarls treat him with respect.

GERALT: This Selyse, where can we find her?

VIENNE: She’s done well for herself. Runs a brothel in tretogor, the kind rich men frequent. Whores suck information out of them, then she sells it.

LAMBERT: Name of this brothel?

VIENNE: The Black Lily. Selyse always did have horrible taste.

GERALT: (TO LAMBERT) Satisfied?

Geralt and Lambert both stand.

LAMBERT: She doesn’t know anything. We need to talk to Hammond and Selyse.

VIENNE: Don’t go looking for Karadin. If he senses you nipping at his heels, he’ll kill you without batting an eye.

LAMBERT: We’ll see. As for you…

OPTION ONE

GERALT: No, Lambert.

LAMBERT: Right, better to leave her like this.

VIENNE: What about my coin?

Geralt and Lambert exit the inn.

VIENNE (cont.): Arseholes.

OPTION TWO

GERALT: Do whatever you think is right, Lambert. Not here to preach morals.

VIENNE: (LAUGHS) “Do what you think is right?” Only one thing worse than cold blooded murder—hypocrisy. Informers, racists, snitches!

VAREN: Vienne, bloody hell. What is it?

VIENNE: They’ve come for me, Varen! I told you someone would, sooner or later!

VAREN: (IN ELDER) Don’t be afraid.

GERALT: Shit.

A fight breaks out in the inn and ends with Vienne dead.

EXT. SEVEN CATS INN—NIGHT

LAMBERT: You’ve gotta help me, Geralt. Best thing will be to split up. You sail to Skellige, try to squeeze something out of Hammond. I’ll go to Tretegor and try to get something out of Selyse.

GERALT: Lambert, let’s talk about this.

LAMBERT: Let’s not. This is one of those situations, serious situations, where you don’t ask unnecessary questions and just help your friend.

GERALT: Where’ll we meet once I’m back?

LAMBERT: At the Nowhere Inn.

GERALT: All right, I’m off. Good luck.

They both nod to each other, and the scene fades to black as Lambert walks away.

EXT. PIRATE’S SETTLEMENT, SKELLIGE

Geralt approaches two men standing guard outside of the settlement he’d been pointed to in order to find Hammond.

GUARD: Whaddya want?

GERALT: I’m looking for Hammond.

GUARD: What for?

GERALT: Business.

GUARD: He prays at the chapel on the hill this time of day. If it’s slaves you’re looking to buy, you’ll have to wait ‘til he’s done.

GERALT: He’s praying? Wouldn’t have thought him a god fearing man.

GUARD: Hmm. Yet it’s not something that would surprise any man who knows him.

GUARD TWO: Another snoop! You know the drill!

A fight breaks out with all of the pirates. After Geralt defeats them, he travels across the island.

EXT. HAMMOND’S SHRINE

Geralt walks into the shrine, and it’s an outdoor space with wide, curved beams driven into the ground that create a circle. Hammond is in the middle of the area in front of a pile of weaponry and shields. Hammond is shirtless and wearing a green tartan kilt with a wide leather belt. His hair is in a ponytail, and a leather strap encircles his left bicep. There’s a brown arm guard on the same arm, and there’s a gold band wrapped around his right bicep. There’s a large war hammer strapped to his back.

HAMMOND: Gods of the sea, I’ve never begrudge ye no gifts. Grant me another victory, so I can make an offering of me loot. (STANDS AND NOTICES GERALT) Fuck, what now?

GERALT: Heard you were in Karadin’s band.

HAMMOND: Fuckin’ say what you want. C’mon, spit it out, you arse lickin’ bastard!

GERALT: I’m looking for Jad Karadin.

HAMMOND: And just who the hell’re you?

GERALT: A friend of a friend. I’m looking for Karasin, thought maybe we could make some sort of deal.

HAMMOND: What, our business rubbing some Novigrad pricks the wrong way? Ploughin’ guild! (TO HIS GUARDS) Come on, what are you waiting for? Kill the fucker!

A fight breaks out and Geralt kills Hammond and his three guards. After, Geralt searches Hammond’s body and retrieves a letter on elegant stationary.

Hammond,

Thought I made it clear during our last face to face talk. I don’t want to keep in touch and I especially don’t want to do any business with you. I’ve no doubt the enterprise you proposed would be profitable. Nevertheless, to speak colloquially, count me out.

There are plenty of other potential buyers in Novigrad: goldsmiths, jewelers, and merchants dealing in luxury goods, for starters.

I don’t want to get involved.

Whatever you decide, I will wish you well in it. Treat this letter as our final farewell.

Karadin

INT. NOWHERE INN

Geralt approaches Lambert. Lambert is sitting at a table scattered with gwent cards and with a tankard in front of him.

LAMBERT: What the hell took you?

GERALT: Pretty likely Karadin lives in Novigrad. And he never severed ties with Hammond. They’re actually in business together.

LAMBERT: Mm. Learned something, too. He trades in, uh, live goods on the sly. Owns a ship called the Pearl of the Coast. Runs between here and Skellige. Changed his name, too, to Roland Treugger, who officially is a respected Novigrad trader and philanthropist. Has a residence in Gildorf.

GERALT: Anything on Selyse?

LAMBERT: Hmm. Well, didn’t have you there to stand up for her.

GERALT: All right, let’s pay Karadin a visit.

EXT. KARADIN’S HOUSE

Lambert and Geralt stand in a stone alleyway, looking at several guards.

LAMBERT: Think I know how to get in. Got a plan.

GERALT: If your plan doesn’t include dealing with an escort of guardsmen, best revise it.

The guards approach Lambert and Geralt.

GERALT (cont.): Calm, now. Let them start it.

GUARD: You’re expected. Come in.

Lambert and Geralt share a glance, and the scene fades to black.

EXT. KARADIN’S BACKYARD

There’s a child in a blue smock, who points at Lambert and Geralt and runs to Karadin. Karadin has yellow slitted eyes, dressed nicely, and there’s a sword at his hip.

KARADIN: Make yourselves at home.

GERALT: (TO LAMBERT) He’s a witcher.

KARADIN: Very true. Let me introduce my wife, Laetitia, and my two little tots. (GESTURES TO A WOMAN AND TWO CHILDREN SITTING IN THE GRASS) You know who I am, and I’ve heard of you. You’ve been asking questions about me. That always draws my attention.

GERALT: What school’d you come out of?

KARADIN: That of the cat. So few of us left.

Lambert sneers.

GERALT: Witchers can’t have children.

KARADIN: But they can have wards. Or take in a woman along with her children, embrace them as their own.

GERALT: I could understand a witcher becoming a hired assassin, but a merchant?

KARADIN: Why ever not? Not one among us doesn’t dream of changing our life. I simply did not stop at dreaming. They say no witcher has ever died in his bed. I aim to be the first.

LAMBERT: Remains to be seen.

GERALT: My friend needs to talk to you.

KARADIN: (TO GUARDS) Lads, take the children and Laetitia and leave us. Our guests wish to speak with me.

His family leaves.

KARADIN (cont.): I’m all ears.

LAMBERT: Talk to him, Geralt. If I do, first word he says to me, I’ll lose it and throttle the fucker.

GERALT: Nice place you got.

KARADIN: As it turned out, I’ve a flair for enterprise. Now I’ve coin enough to provide my family with the finer things in life.

LAMBERT: With some left over for philanthropy.

KARADIN: Miss Marabella’s institute does not scorn small donations. Neither does the city's Widow and Orphan Relief Fund, amongst others.

GERALT: Your wife know who you were?

KARADIN: We are thoroughly honest with each other, harbor no secrets. She prays for me each day. You know what? I think it’s working.

LAMBERT: Fucking hell.

GERALT: Relax, Lambert.

KARADIN: I confessed all just before we pledged to marry one another. Began a new life that day, with a clean slate.

GERALT: Remember Aiden? A witcher. Murdered in Ellander. Guessing the killers were paid well.

KARADIN: I remember him as I remember all the others—with the deepest regret. Yet Aiden was different, in a way. Contrary to rumor, we did not set out to kill him. We were forcced to, when he attacked us.

GERALT: What’s your version of this story?

KARADIN: Aiden had accepted a contract to lift a curse from the duke’s daughter. He took the coin, bungled the job, then left once the girl passed on.

LAMBERT: You lie!

KARADIN: We were not to kill him. We were debt collectors. He’d spent the coin already, so we demanded his swords. When he refused, tempers flared. Vienne, positioned as sniper, lost her nerve, hit Aiden square in the eye.

Lambert looks down. Geralt glances over at him.

KARADIN (cont.): Later, she devised her own version of the story. To silence her guilt, I expect.

GERALT: I’ve heard enough.

KARADIN: What now?

OPTION ONE

GERALT: You’ve changed. You have.

KARADIN: Forgiveness. It’s my sole aim now.

LAMBERT: You’re buying this bullshit? Bastard’s lying his ass off!

OPTION TWO

GERALT: You know what, Karadin? Your remorse—it’s feigned. Completely dishonest. You put on a good show, but I just don’t believe you.

LAMBERT: Don’t even know why we bothered with this chat. We came here to kill you.

OPTION THREE

GERALT: Maybe you’ve changed, maybe not. To me and Lambert, it doesn’t matter.

LAMBERT: You killed Aiden. Fuck your new life. I don’t believe in giving second chances.

OPTION ONE

GERALT: Do what you want, Lambert. Your friend, your vengeance.

LAMBERT: Been waiting a long time for this.

KARADIN: (UNSHEATHES SWORD) And I don’t aim to die.

A fight breaks out, ending in Karadin dead.

LAMBERT: Thanks for your help, Geralt.

GERALT: You’re welcome.

LAMBERT: Wanna talk about it?

GERALT: No.

LAMBERT: See you later. Some day.

GERALT: So long, Lambert.

OPTION TWO

GERALT: Leave him. Let’s go.

LAMBERT: What? Are you fuckin’ nuts?

GERALT: Lambert, this is one of those situations where you have to realize you’re pissed as hell, rein it in, and trust your cool headed friend. Let’s go.

LAMBERT: For fuck’s sake, Geralt. Don’t know that I’ll be able to forgive you.

GERALT: I said let’s go. You can always come back.

Lambert storms off.

KARADIN: Thank you.

Geralt sighs and walks away.

EXT. KARADIN’S HOUSE

LAMBERT: Explain yourself.

GERALT: Don’t intend to. Just felt Karadin didn’t deserve to be murdered in cold blood. If you feel otherwise, you can always go back. Without me.

LAMBERT: I feel like beating the shit out of you. See you later. Some day.

GERALT: So long, Lambert.

#the witcher #the witcher 3 #aiden #lambert #lambden #following the thread #reference #contemplative writing

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lochnessies · 3 years

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@cockati3l the church isn’t ruling people from behind the scenes. even the devs confirmed that. the church in adrestia doesn’t exist, the church in the alliance is ‘toothless’ and nobody pays attention to them as said by lorenz, and the western church is in open rebellion against the central. also, when does the church control anybody in the game? nobody is forced to follow them and they even take on nonbelievers as staff.

once again, what corruption are you talking about? it can’t be what edelgard mentions in her speech because that’s been proven false.

it can’t be killing the western priests because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af

it can’t be changing history a little because in your own words “what the fuck so u want her to do?” humans killed her race when they found out the amount of power stored in their bones, blood, and hearts. at that time in fodlan’s history clans were fighting for power with the relics of her family and she had to find a way to broker peace as said by intsys: “seiros and co. meddled with history not in order to rule over humans, but to quell the flames of war and chaos as much as possible, and to also keep a steady balance about humanity.”

also yes, rhea was about to step down. she says so herself. even calling herself a “mere proxy” for byleth.

tell me how claude piggybacked off of edelgard’s war to further his own aims? the game tells and shows that he’s spending his time trying to just keep the alliance together.

she’s literally called the hegemon. there is no freedom under her rule. she centralizes all power onto herself and makes herself the supreme ruler. what she says goes and in order to achieve that result she murdered, lied, and stole.

she literally said “i have no regrets.” why? because she doesn’t. she may feel kinda bad about all the dying but obviously not enough to stop what she’s doing and find another path.

also her words about the followers of seiros are far from kind. she calls them “mindless” multiple times (even in her s-support). the faithful are forced to flee from her. people even lose contact with the believers in the empire, and it’s not even allowed to be one in the first place. not to mention in hanneman/manuela’s ending the church can come back but only under the empire’s supervision. so we have a state controlled church. look at all the freedom!

when does dimitri leave crestless people to get fucked? he literally talks at length that he believes that people with crests and people without need to work together and recognize each other’s strengths.

also the church isn’t the one behind the “crest system” (if you can even call it that since the way each house interacts with it is so different). crests/clans became noble houses because of their strength (aka the empire’s meritocracy in the beginning) and the strong aka crest bearers rose to the top bc in the 91 years it took to kill nemesis his elites had already started their own bloodlines and families. the nintendo interview says that rhea lied about the origin of the crests and relics bc she wanted the wars to end and the only way to have gotten rid of the crests humans had would be to genocide them.

with nemesis gone and the adrestian empire now in charge of the continent, a meritocracy started to form among the nobility. hanneman in his support with dorothea says this about the founding of the empire: “consider this. at its inception, the concept of nobility assumed that the greatest among the populace would rise to power. in my mind, i believe that those who value knowledge, those who strive for more, and wish to protect and guide their fellow man. however, in practice, nobility often serves to keep those deemed commoners down, segregated from those who, by chance, were born to a noble family.” this is also paired with ferdiand’s support with edelgard: “certainly, we must recognize the common folk who strive for greatness and attain it. but for those of us born into nobility, things are more complicated. from birth, nobles must excel. if we do not, we will be forced out of our houses. this environment breeds superior individuals, and they, in turn, recreate the rigorous environment for their own children. without that cycle, there would be no political elite guiding the world towards prosperity.” so from these supports we learn that the empire was founded on the idea of the strongest shall rule and they would be replaced if they didn’t reach a standard. however, over time, the nobility started to abuse this power of theirs and the idea of meritocracy was forgotten. which, ironically, is how it always works in the real world as well. that’s where the concept of nobles often bearing crests comes from. it’s comes from the empire not the church. and when faerghus and the alliance break off from it they kept the tradition. also, if you talk to rhea in verdant wind when she talks about zanado you can tell she hates crests. at the very least she hates the fact that humans have them due to how they were acquired. you know, through genocide. it’s also in the book of seiros that the reason the goddess left was because people were abusing crests and it saddened her and she went back to the blue sea star. so no, the church isn’t propagating anything. and they can’t force the noble houses to adhere to their religion so they don’t.

i’m not sure what you mean by “squander any rebellion”. i think you mean squash/stamp out? well the only rebellion we see in the game is from the western church and as i said previously, the priests were punished because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af. the church wasn’t the aggressor and only stopped the rebellions because they were dangerous and were also attacking innocent people. however, we do know that in crimson flower there are rebellions under edelgard’s rule and they are put down as well by the empire secret police aka hubert.

the devs also mention that azure moon was written to be a counter to crimson flower. and that is the route where dimitri has to learn to rely on his friends and work together with his people in order to usher in a bright future. in crimson flower edelgard berates people who lean on anybody else for support (all while taking some from byleth) and believes humans need to stand on their own two feet. in azure moon she says: “if after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves.” to which dimitri responds: “yes. perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. but you cannot force that belief onto others. people aren't as strong as you think they are. there are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. you path will not be able to save them. it is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.” so yes, there is someone who represents human unity in the game: dimitri.

edelgard doesn’t make fodlan better. she’s the game’s hegemon (called this in three routes). there are rebellions under her. her people are starving (ashe says on cf), she attacked two nations she had no rights to, and defamed an entire race/religion.

crimson flower ends in flames and darkness. this is made VERY clear by the ending mural. unlike the others, which all show a very joyful scene; am has dimitri being loved by the people with archbishop byleth at his side, ss has byleth being held up in the crowd of people as it talks about how they are now the arbiter of every soul and mother of all life (which are the exact words used to describe sothis), and vw has claude talking with the people and the almyrans are visiting; which infers peace between the two nations. however in cf, we have edelgard standing on the flags of the nations she has conquered. she holds a napoleonic staff in her hands, and the mural portrays people with their heads bowed in obvious sadness and defeat. the biggest indicator that this is not an ending to be celebrated, but rather lamented, is the border. In all the other endings, the border is white and is accented by the color of the route. in cf you can see that the border is black. black and red: colors synonymous with evil or darkness. the epilogue also mentions rebellions against her rule that she has put down.

edelgard’s role in the story is that of nemesis 2.0. someone that is manipulated by twsitd and is fed false information to lead her to finish what nemesis started over a thousand years ago - the extinction of the nabatean race.

another massive red flag is what the devs have said about crimson flower being the supreme ruler route. “edelgard in "crimson fower", or rather known as the, "supreme ruler (hegemon) route" is something we honestly meant to be much more difficult to enter.” (they were talking about why it is harder to enter cf than ss). let’s focus on the word ‘hegemon’. the direct definition is ‘a supreme ruler.’ in another interview they mention the ‘hegemon’s path’ which is a chinese philosophy that goes along with the mandate of heaven that the devs have said that they based cf off of. there is a rule of the mandate of heaven: the right to rule is only granted if the ruler cares about his people more than he cares about himself, and if this is not the case, then the people rise up to overthrow the tyrant. we know for a fact that edelgard is this ‘tyrant/hegemon’ because she is called this in the game.

the devs have also said: “due to all the previous titles in the series, the thought/impression that the empire = antagonists is left upon the playerbase. when you think about the "empire", you usually get some sort of "bad/evil" image, i think. and as for the story, it really feels like it started from the romance of three kingdoms, but we force them all to take part in school life. In other words, a period in which there was peace must exist, before starting the fires of war. and because of that, someone evil (villain) has to exist, and so we had the empire bear that burden.” this interview also blew the common argument pro-empire fans had of fodlan not being at peace at the start of the game. they said themselves that the three countries were at peace. even the game states at the start that ‘these three ruling powers now exist in relative harmony.’

also even if other characters did some things wrong that doesn’t suddenly let her off the hook for her actions just like her’s don’t nullify theirs. if she wanted to peacefully change how things worked in her nation then fine. i don’t care. however, she invaded two other independent nations in order to change their systems and put them under her control. that isn’t morally gray no matter how you spin it. it’s tyrannical.

actually it was humans as a whole who fucked up the earth first. the agarthans are a race of humans that have been around for over a thousand years at the start of the game. when the goddess sothis came down from her home on the blue sea star she arrived in fodlan and took on a form that resembled humanity and lived among them. she used her blood to birth a race of children called nabateans. in the beginning, these two nations lived in harmony.

sothis and her children helped the humans advance their technology and weapons over time until the humans’ hubris grew to the point that they began to wage war on each other and eventually the goddess herself - the one who gave them the technology to do so. as confirmed by seteth, (who was there during that time) some of the weapons they used in the war are also seen in the game, such as the missile of light that destroys fort merceus. so basically, it was a ye olde nuclear war that almost completely destroyed the land and the humans. during this, a faction of humans left the surface to live below ground. they built a city called shambala and officially became known as agarthans. back on the surface, sothis used her godly power to try and heal the earth. however, due to the incredible damage done by the weapons, so much of her power was used that she fell into a deep sleep to try and recover. so no, sothis didn’t fuck shit up. it was the arrogant humans that took her kindness and decided they wanted to try and kill each other with it.

yes, dimitri and claude do have the rest of fodlan under their command at the end of the day. however, they way they achieved this was nothing like edelgard’s. they had no intentions of starting a war to unite the three under their rule. dimitri was given the alliance (the round table came to an agreement and willingly became part of faerghus) and when he kills edelgard the empire is now, by default his whether he likes it or not. same with claude. he defeats the empire which by that point had taken the kingdom. both are now without leadership and he doesn’t even stay. he fucks off to almyra. edelgard on the other hand started the war to put all of fodland back under her rule. it’s not comparable.

#i had to use tiny text to try and make this smaller lmao #mine

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lady-literature · 4 years

Text

no point wishing on stars

aka the jasonette aladdin au literally no one asked for

This is a great big amalgamation of semi-canon miraculous, batman and a heavy dose of bastardized Aladdin but here we go-

The story goes like this:

Jason is our beloved street rat turned prince Boy Wonder and billionaire’s son (not that he’s gotten that far yet).

Marinette is Ladybug, is the Guardian, is our modern-day Jasmine. She’s next in line after Fu to lead the Order, which, I suppose, is like High Royalty for superheroes/magic users.

But before she can take her rightful place, she needs a partner by her side. It’s so stupid rule that says she, as a Ladybug, needs a Black Cat by her side in order to be properly balanced.

The only problem is, she doesn’t want one. Or, well. More accurately, it’s that she doesn’t like the ones offered to her, and she doesn’t quite like the idea of being tied to someone she barely knows, especially not at fourteen.

There have been many Black Cat candidates to cross her path but there has been only one she did not immediately veto. Adrien Agreste may be a Black Cat, but he cannot be hers. He will never be anything more than her dearest brother, and that is not what Creation needs.

Creation and Destruction—life and death—have a certain type of relationship. They are lovers, mated and married in every meaning of the word.

And, for as much as she loves and adores Adrien as her brother in her soul, they will never be like that. She will never want him the way she must should he take up Destruction.

So yeah. Marinette has a problem. And yeah, she has some time to figure it out, but the Order is looking to have her figure it out sooner rather than later. Adrien is a good place holder for now, but if Marinette doesn’t choose a Black Cat by the time she’s twenty-one, Adrien will either have to do, or she forfeits her crown and the Ladybug miraculous (which she would never do, she loves her people and Tikki too much to ever do that).

(wait? Does this mean I made Adrien the human equivalent of Raja?… yes. Yes it does.)

And, to spice this up just a bit more, let’s say Hawkmoth is Jafar, yeah? This little shit is really trying to push his son to be the next Black Cat because he wants power what’s best for his son. So he be out here sabotaging potential Black Cats because he’s an asshole his son is the best candidate at the moment. He could give less than two shits about if Mari and Adrien actually like each other that way, he will shove his son at her until she has no choice but to choose him.

Anyway, so Mari leaves the temple one day. Which is fine, she’s not trapped there or anything, she can come and go as she pleases! (she may have to normally take someone with her and is currently ignoring that rule perhaps, but that’s besides the point!)

So she’s at a market in Gotham, strolling down the street, having a good time enjoying being around normal people, when she notices a boy getting into some trouble.

(I’ll give you three guesses as to who it is and the first two don’t count.)

Jason was stealing from market vendors because the hubbub of the street is distracting and nicking a few scraps here and there is practically child’s play. Only, he miscalculates.

One vendor was paying more attention than he thought.

Mari’s across the street and sees the whole thing. Sees the vendor grab Jason’s hand in a bruising grip and snarl in his face.

She’s in between the pair before she even realizes it, mouth already opening around some made-up story about ill-advised dares and how ‘it won’t happen again, sir’ and ‘here, I’ll pay for that right now, no harm done!’

Jason stares at her utterly baffled and, thankfully, silent until after she’d already grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

Only, she pulls him away down the wrong alley. (Look. Mari’s a real sweet-talker and knows how to smooth ruffled feathers, but she is hardly street smart.)

Jason swears, and it’s the first words she’s heard him speak, and then it’s him tugging her along. Up a fire escape and over the rooftops because Jason likes to think he’s tough, but there’s no way he’s picking a fight with five guys bigger than him and wearing masks.

He likes to keep his heart beating more than he wants to keep his pride unharmed thank you very much.

They end up on a rooftop, panting and like, seven blocks away. Marinette is now very lost and with a strange boy who she doesn’t know. He seems… nice, and she’s a good judge of character, but that doesn’t mean much when they’re still very much strangers.

But then the two just look at each other and suddenly they’re both laughing.

And that, my friends, is the start of a beautiful friendship.

***

During those first few months, she and Jason just seem to click.

Mari starts leaving the temple more and more to meet up with Jason, and on more than one occasion dragging behind her a picnic basket bigger than her. (it’s stupid to let one of her friends starve just because he’s too prideful to take her food. So she plans lots of picnics for them both, and pointedly ignores the way he eats and hoards most of the food she brings.)

He is her friend—though she would be lying if she said she didn’t like him a bit more than what one would consider friendly.

And Jason, who is funny and kind and made sharp by the life he’s been forced into, likes her right back. She is one of the few great parts of his life, a bright spot in the darkness he has called his world for so long, and there are few things he wouldn’t do for her.

It’s… scary—just a bit—how important she is to him.

He tries not to think about it too much.

And it doesn't really matter anyway, because she is good and bright and amazing and he is… there’s nothing he can give her in return. Nothing good, anyway.

She deserves someone better. Someone who could buy her things as pretty as her and take her nice places.

Someone who isn’t a street rat.

And then he learns she’s Ladybug, right up there with Wonder Woman and Robin and all the other amazing people set on saving the world, and he feels he got that much farther from her. How can he ever compare?

Jason doesn’t wish, because wishing is childish and he learned too young that shooting stars don’t exist and he’s come to terms with the fact that this is his life years ago, all right? He doesn't need the burden of hope to weigh him down now.

(but perhaps, deep down, tucked away in the corner of his heart, there might be a thought. Small and scared and aching, he might think, ‘if only I could be there with her, if only i could fly with her, maybe then I’d be enough’)

Six months after he meets Marinette, Jason comes across the Batmobile.

His first thought is, this can’t be real.

His second is, I could buy Mari a real birthday gift with this.

His third thought is less of a thought because he’s already got two tires off by that point and then suddenly Batman is there and Jason is swinging his tire iron.

This then leads—somehow—to him winding up at Wayne Manor with Bruce Wayne and then he learns about Batman and Robin and he gets to be Robin and-

(and what else is a Robin meant to do but fly?)

It’s too good to be true. Wishes don’t come true and good things don’t happen to him unless their name be Marinette but… but Jason’s here and it’s not a dream. He’s no prince but, well… he thinks this might just be as close as you can get.

And, okay. He really does try with the whole secrecy thing, because he can understand why that’s important but, I mean… it’s Marinette, who is Ladybug. There really was never any chance of Jason keeping that particular secret, Batman or no Batman.

And about,,, two years pass like this ig. Mari is almost seventeen now, and Jason turned seventeen recently and the pair are getting closer and closer every day. They’re toeing the line of ‘more than friends’ but neither have really taken that next step.

The pressure is on Mari from the Order because she’s getting older and as much as she likes Jason, knows him but he isn’t a good candidate for Destruction and Mari must think of her people first.

Jason doesn’t get to be hers to keep and that aches but what else is she meant to do? She cannot—does not—want to change him in any way. So they stay, in their strange little limbo, with neither making a move.

And then, the unthinkable happens.

Hawkmoth hears of the boy finally, and is, obviously, furious.

He doesn't care if this boy can be a Cat or not, he’s going to ruin all his plans. So, there’s only one solution. He needs to get rid of him.

(i’ll give you three guesses as to how and the first two don’t count!)

Robin—Jason—dies, and Marinette feels when he does. She doesn’t know why or what happened, but the moment he leaves the world her blood turns cold and she feels sick.

Jason hasn’t even looked at the ring and already Marinette could feel the thread that had begun to tie them together. When she hears of his death—when she learns that he’s gone—Marinette shatters.

She shatters and cries and the world tips just a little, with the force of her sorrow, with the agony of her screams.

(justice is blind, yes, but is she deaf? Can she deny the sobbing of such a being as Creation herself? Can she stand, unfeeling, before the agony she has wrought?)

Marinette does not bring Jason back to life… but she has done something close. Has opened the possibility. Is, perhaps, the reason that six months later he screams and claws and drags himself from his own grave.

He is wrong wrong wrong, but he is also alive.

The league finds him, as they must. And Talia throws him into the pits, as she must. And Jason is reborn, screaming and angry and violent, as he must.

Marinette had known, Before, that Jason would not be a good match for the ring. He was tough and wild and willing to get his hands dirty if that’s what it took, but that was not what his core was. He was familiar with the rust and decay of back alley streets, but that wasn’t where he belonged. He would throw a punch but he didn’t relish the blood on his knuckles after a fight.

Jason was surrounded by destruction, but that’s not what he was.

Now… now the destruction he spent so long dancing with has slipped through the cracks in his mind left behind by the explosion. It ripped through his skin and slithered through into his veins until it settled in his heart like an overly smug cat.

Death and Destruction are inside him, woven in his ribcage and fusing with his blood, pumping pumping pumping its deadly rhythm and Jason is helpless to deny it’s tune.

Jason is a being of Destruction through circumstance rather than design, but make no mistake, that does not make him less.

(in fact, it may even make him more. To be remade from one’s own destruction is a powerful thing, and to be remade into Destruction? Well. There are few things more… miraculous.)

And we all know the next part of the story right?

Marinette mourns and grows and lives.

Jason rages and learns and plans. He’s come far from that street rat of a boy, and farther still from Marinette's petite oiseau.

But, two years after he comes back, when he ventures back to Gotham for revenge, Marinette takes one look at this angry, violent man calling himself Red Hood and she knows. He’s too familiar, even as he stands before her, more changed than she ever thought possible.

She meets the Red Hood when he comes for the new Robin, sweet little Tim who Marinette had grown to like despite herself. (He is not Jason, and never will be, but the boy was too shy and clever and earnest for her to have remained cold to him just because he wore the same colors once worn by the man she loved.)

She loves Tim in the same way she loves Adrien, simply and wholly and uncomplicated.

And then she is there when Jason comes for him.

Their reunion is not the stuff of fairy tales. It is not the beginning of happily ever after or true love.

Their reunion is a punch in the gut because it doesn't matter that he’s alive—except it does, because Mari has never known she could be so happy and so shattered at the same time—she is farther from him than she’d ever imagined she could be.

She reaches out for him, voice cracking around his name—because who else could this familiar stranger be?—and something in her shatters all over again when he flinches back from her touch.

“No,” he says, and it is a million things at once. He sends one last glare to Tim, who is still behind her, and then he’s gone.

***

Jason tries to avoid her.

Marinette allows this for a whole month before the whispers in the streets and the stories Tim comes back to her with, become too much.

She knows he is angry and out for revenge and building an empire out of the criminals that infest their city, but she doesn’t care. He was gone for two whole years and Marinette is tired of not seeing him-hearing him-touching him.

She has missed him like an ache in her chest and she doesn't care if he hates her or is furious with her, she just wants to see him. She needs to reassure herself that he’s alive, that he’s real.

And, it seems, the universe is on her side in this. In her chest, nestled there in the space next to her heart, there is what she can only describe as a compass, pointing to wherever Jason is like he’s her own personal north star.

The first few times, she’s yelled at or ran off. Or he runs off. Either way, for a while, the only moments she’s close to him are short and aching.

But she doesn’t let him run for long, and she doesn’t let him scare her off as she knows he’s trying to do.

Marinette had always been the more stubborn of the two.

Eventually, like a feral cat learning safety (like a hurt, scared animal relearning love), Jason lets her get close. He lets her in, lets her get close again.

The first time she sees him, without helmet or mask, she flings herself at him. Arms around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist, clutching him like her life depends on it. He takes her weight automatically, hand beneath her thighs while the other wraps around her back just as tightly. (he longs for touch, she has relearned, but he is also so frightened of it. She will have to be brave for them both)

The second time she sees his face bare once more, he is still thrumming with energy from a fight, is still high on the feeling of broken bones and blood on his knuckles. The force in his chest, the clawing and raging thing settled just off-center of the very core of him, pulls him toward her and Marinette meets him halfway, her own bright, ruthless force like a magnet in her chest.

They meet in a clash of hands on skin and lips anywhere they’ll land.

It is the first time they fall into bed together.

It will not be the last.

Now, you may be thinking, ‘Lady! This isn’t very Aladdin at all!’ and to that I tell you: I fucking warned you. What part of bastardized-Aladdin didn’t you get?

Also, shh. This is my favorite part!

So Mari is in her own personal little honeymoon stage, right? She practically could not be happier because Jason is alive and he’s hers and, even if he’s more violent and a crime boss, he’s stopped attacking his family at least. Which is good, because Mari really didn’t like the sad look Tim wore every time he brought up Jason.

And, oh yeah. Through a combination of her own detective work and Tikki, little Mari realizes that Jason is her Black Cat. Is the only person her Black Cat could be, not because of destiny—though that had helped—but because of coincidence and the bond the pair forged themselves.

So Mari is, obviously, on cloud nine at the moment and she tells Adrien and Fu who are ecstatic for her, and announcements are going to be made the second Mari tells Jason and what could possibly go wrong?

Well, a lot of things really but the first thing is that, basically, Mari is asking Jason to marry her. Just a bit. And while they both know, in that nebulous way they always have, that they love each other, neither of them have ever actually said it.

And also, they aren’t really dating right now either. Mari’s been too busy trying to just get near Jason again that she hasn’t much been paying attention to normal relationship things like dates or labels.

So when she brings it up Jason is… well, caught off guard is likely an understatement. Which then makes Mari realize what exactly she’s just done and- shit. She’s ruined everything and Jason is going to run away again and the compass in her chest is just going to be a reminder of what she can’t have and-

Jason, who only moments before was terrified and in danger of bolting—because this is a lot and magic-marrying Mari comes with responsibilities and rules and a thousand strings he doesn't know what to do with—now stops and stares at her, babbling and so obviously panicked and something in him abruptly settles.

She starts pacing and he grabs her hand when she passes by close enough, reeling her into his body. She comes easily even in her frazzled state and the vicious clawing thing in his chest sighs contentedly.

“Why?” he asks, and it is a million things at once. Why him, why now, why, why, why?

There are a million ways she could answer, but the easiest? The most important answer is simply this: “Because I love you.”

His breath shudders in his chest at her words and her hands raise to settle on his cheek and the back of his neck, a protection of one of the most vulnerable parts of him, and he leans into her touch like a man starved.

Gods, Jason has loved her for years.

He loved her Before and he loved her in the pits, when all he had was the hate they kept stuffing in his chest, and he loves her now. She is his sun and he will spin around her for the rest of his life. But when it all comes down to it, one simple fact doesn’t change:

“I don’t deserve your love.”

Her hands press harder into his skin, like she can force him to understand through touch alone. “If everyone only got the love they deserved no one would be truly loved,” she counters.

“You would,” he says, quick and quiet and honest. Her breath hitches and he watches her eyes go wide. The hands he has on her hips tighten at the emotions he finds there.

“Oh,” she whispers, already pulling him down to meet her. “Oh you stupid, beautiful man.”

And then they’re kissing and- and it is not the first time they’ve done this, but there is something very different about this one.

They’re kissing, and this time, it feels very much like coming home.

***

And, perhaps, that is not the end.

Because there is still one wish left.

Because Jafar-Hawkmoth is still there, and he’s still murderous, and there a very real chance he’s going to ruin the wedding somehow.

Because there is never truly an end to a story, it just simply stops being told.

But none of that really matters. Our princess and her dearest street rat are together at last, and together they’ll get through whatever happens after the story stops being told.

They’ve always had a thing for impossible odds after all.

#maribat #jasonette #my typewriter #aladdin au

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hanjo-love · 3 years

Note

Pt. 2-[Same anon w/ the “Hange post TS ask”]-One last question regarding the final chapter: What do you think of the SC’s deaths in terms of knowing if they meaningful/meaningless? In this topic, I find myself agreeing on the side contrary to popular belief but I would like to know your thoughts first! [P.S. Many thanks in advance for taking the time to answer this if ever you decide to.] <3

Oh anonie, you sweet soul ❤️ I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you 🥰 hopefully everything is going well for you too ❤️

Yesss I completely agree with you, Hange was definitely a wasted potential past TS. And I think everyone will agree on that.

Okay this is probably a topic where people's opinions differ, but fair enough, I actually liked that part of the chapter and Levi's overall character conclusion. In a world, where people die without reaching their dreams and seeing them come true, Levi's conclusion was indeed bittersweet.

I was happy with that... Except for seeing Hanjo among the dead SC members, because it still feels so surreal for me accepting her death. I'm still trying to cope (obviously lol). Still trying to process what happened. But my heart fails to accept it. Everything I hoped and wished for in the last chapter was actually NOT seeing Hanjo among them. I swear, this panel will haunt me forever. It wasn't the right place for her. It wasn't the right time for her to join them. Ugh I could go on about that forever, but let's better stick to your question haha

Even though we knew Levi's actual goals all along (tho some shippers like to twist canon facts), Yams still showed us time and time again that Levi's only goal was to give meaning to his fallen comrades' deaths. And he did that. He proved they didn't die in vain. They didn't throw away their young lives for nothing. But the real question is: what did they actually fight for? For Humanity? For the world?

So to answer that let's go back in time before everything went downhill after the basement reveal lol The SC and all the people of Paradis didn't know shit about what's happening outside their island. They didn't even know there were humans living outside the walls. So to say the SC fought for all of humanity would kinda be wrong. Cause their definition of humanity was different back in the day. Humanity meant the people inside the walls. So if we look at things from this perspective, they indeed saved "humanity" aka the Subjects of Ymir on Paradis.

On the other hand, if the SC were still alive, we know they wouldn't have given up either. If Erwin, Mike & the others were still alive during the rumbling, we know they would have tried and given everything they had to stop it, even if it meant dying in that process. Just like Hange and Levi did. Because that was the real spirit of the SC.

I'm kinda getting off track rn haha

Back to Levi and his duty of proving his friends' lives had meaning. In ch 136 we've noticed Levi's fight with his inner demons. I felt like at that point, after losing everyone he ever loved and cared about, he didn't know what he was fighting for any longer. He lost the view of his own goals. But then he remembered.

He remembered his friends and the entire SC were never selfish. All they ever did was fighting for the greater good. They've always been naively dreaming of a free world. A world free of titans and free of fear. And that's exactly what Levi, Hange and the alliance achieved. They got rid of the titan curse once and for all. The promis of the SC, to annihilate all titans, was finally fulfilled. Unfortunately they couldn't save all of humanity... Eren already murdered 80% of the world's population, there wasn't a lot they could do anymore. But they still managed to break the titan curse once and for all. So yes, their deaths HAD meaning and Levi fulfilled his promis he gave to his comrades and friends. And they thanked him for it, one last time, in the classic SC way.

Shinzou wo Sasageyo!

Thanks for the ask anonie ❤️

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hannibard · 4 years

Text

Waiting for You

My @thewitchersecretsanta gift for @ofxwordsxandxletters. I tried my best to incorporate the things you said you liked and I sincerely hope you enjoy. Happy Holidays!!!

Crossposted to AO3

Pairing: Geralt x Jaskier

It was early afternoon when Geralt made it back to the village covered in monster guts. It wasn’t a particularly difficult hunt, but it did take him quite a bit of time to actually find the cockatrice before killing it, so he returned later than he had originally planned.

The villagers quickly stopped chatting with each other when they saw him and made sure to avoid him as he and Roach passed through a dense road on their way to the alderman’s house. He had been on the path for many years and by now he was used to their hateful gazes along with the rotten stench of fear they always seemed to eminate.

He dropped the pouch containing the cockatrice’s head on the alderman’s threshold and accepted his meagre payment from the man, without having to exchange a single word with him, before going straight for the inn he and Jaskier were staying at.

He left Roach at the stable next to the building and made his way inside, expecting to find the bard singing to a bunch of drunkards, having started his set already, but when he entered the common room, he found it empty and with only a hint of Jaskier’s smell, meaning it had been at least a couple of hours since he’d last been there.

The witcher ignored the small pang of worry in his chest and hurried upstairs to their shared room. He threw the door open with a little too much force and looked around. The bard wasn’t inside as he had hoped, despite all his stuff was still being in the same place he had carelessly thrown them when they first arrived the day before. Even his lute, aka his most prized possession and love of his life, was here and he rarely ever went somewhere without it.

Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few deep breaths, suddenly feeling stupid for caring this much. Jaskier was a grown man after all. He could do whatever he wanted and Geralt had no right to keep him by his side, despite how much he secretly wanted to, but it wasn’t the right time for such thoughts.

Anyhow, Jaskier was probably off with some barmaid or stablehand that had caught his fancy and had decided to skip his usual performance seeing as they had more than enough coin saved up as of late.

Assuming his friend would be back after he’d had his fun, Geralt started on his typical post-hunt routine: placing his swords and pack on a corner, taking off his armor (though this time without the help of a certain someone’s skilled fingers), calling for a bath and a meal to be brought up and after he was both clean and fed, kneeling on the bed and meditating.

By the time he was done with everything, the sun had long set and with his enhanced senses Geralt could hear the rest of the inn’s guests getting ready for bed, but his bard had yet to return.

Feeling as though enough time had passed for his feelings of worry to be reasonable, the witcher went downstairs to the bar. He placed his empty plate and tankard on the counter and as a man got reluctantly closer to take them away, he asked:

“Have you seen the bard that was with me when I arrived anywhere?”

The man was startled to be addressed but he looked back at Geralt.

“I think he went to play gwent at ‘The Rusty Rapier’ with some guys around midday.”

Jaskier’s skills in gwent were notorious to involve quite a bit of cheating, and since it had been so many hours since he went off, Geralt had a bad feeling about this.

“How do I find this tavern?”

He was given directions by the other man and after going back up to the room to take his swords, he went straight to that place hoping nothing bad had happened to his bard, though he doubted that was the case since neither of them was ever that lucky.

.......

Locked inside an abandoned shed, Jaskier was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees and trying to calm himself down while rocking back and forth in a rhythmic motion.

When he was first thrown in here by the men he had tried to scam, after they’d given him a small beating and taken all the coin he had on him (thank Melitele he had left his pouch at the inn) it was still day outside and he could see clearly around him because of some holes on the shed’s wooden ceiling. And Jaskier was mostly fine at that point, just cheerfully singing to pass the time and waiting for his dearest friend Geralt to come rescue him.

Sure, the few wounds and bruises he had (admittedly deservingly) acquired from his gwent-playing buddies stung a bit but it was nothing compared to what some cuckolded husbands had done to him in the past. Plus, ultimately both in this case and all the previous ones where he’d been roughened up by someone he had brought it upon himself, so he couldn’t really complain.

And yeah, singing was always more fun when he had his lute with him but that wasn’t enough to faze him, he could easily make do even without any instrumental accompaniment. He was a professional musician after all.

But as the hours went by, one after the other, the light from outside started dimming, the temperature dropping and his optimism dying, Jaskier grew more and more anxious. He has always hated the dark ever since his childhood and the whole situation was making him recall old memories that he had tried his best to forget.

By this point he had run out of his own songs to sing and had moved on to the ones he had been taught at Oxenfurt, his voice much weaker than before.

He went to rub a hand over his face and noticed that it was slightly trembling, together with the rest of his body and even though it was very cold, he suspected it was only half the reason. He clenched his eyes shut and rested his forehead against his knees, hugging them closer to his torso. He really fucking hated the dark.

Deep breaths Julian, he though as he dug his nails to his upper arms in order to distract himself and sighed. You have no reason to fear. Geralt will probably be here soon and then both of us can leave this godforsaken place behind in the morning.

Except… what if Geralt didn’t come? What if he used this chance to finally get rid of him? After all it was a well-known fact that the older man only barely tolerated his presence.

Sure, Jaskier’s songs had helped lesser the prejudice that existed against Witchers and made it easier for him to find work, but that didn’t mean he needed Jaskier in his life, he’d made that perfectly clear from the start of their acquaintance. Hell, he still refused to even call Jaskier his friend for fucks sake. The bard had thought they’d grown closer over time but maybe that was only wishful thinking.

Jaskier was only a burden and a nuisance to Geralt, and he couldn’t deny that no matter how much it hurt to admit. Still, the bard loved and cared for him anyways. He always had since that fateful day in Posada.

He might have attached himself to the witcher’s side for mostly selfish reasons at first, but he quickly realized how kind and caring he was behind his tough exterior and how low his self-esteem had become from decades of dealing with humans’ contempt and so he had vowed to do everything in his power to create a better world for him.

And although he knew this love wasn’t mutual and that he should have been content by being able to stay with him, even if only as a travel companion, a small traitorous part of him would always crave for more...

Nevertheless, if the witcher was aware of Jaskier’s feelings towards him he probably would have ditched him in some backwater town a long time ago, and so the bard was careful to lock them up inside his chest and never let them show.

But what if he had been careless? What if he let his touch linger while washing Geralt’s hair a little too long? What if he had written a few too many love songs recently with references to ‘luscious silver hair’ and ‘perfectly sculpted biceps’?

Perhaps the reason Geralt hadn’t come yet was because he had left the village without him as his way of letting Jaskier down gently.

Or even worse, what if he’d gotten hurt? Cockatrices (as the witcher suspected the monster he was sent to kill this time was) were fairly easy for Geralt to handle if they were by themselves but accidents could always happen.

What if he was bleeding to death from a fatal wound right this moment when Jaskier had no way to find and help him? If he wasn’t such an idiot and gotten himself in this situation, he might have been able to save him.

All those what ifs were making Jaskier more and more distraught and he could feel tears fill his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing quietly, no longer able to continue his singing when suddenly the door was kicked open. The musician looked up abruptly, but he couldn’t make out who was in front of him because of the darkness.

“Jaskier?!” yelled a very familiar gruff voice.

The bard’s eyes widened, and he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. “G-Geralt? Is that you?”

The witcher dropped to his knees beside him. “Yes, it’s me.” He said and started running his hands all over Jaskier’s body, checking for injuries. “You don’t seem badly hurt. Can you stand?”

The bard nodded and got up with his friend’s assistance. It was a bit hard since he felt as if his legs had turned to putty after staying in one position for so long but after leaning on the wall for a moment, he was able to take a few trembling steps. Geralt helped him get outside and onto Roach’s back before climbing to sit behind him. “How do you always manage to get in trouble?” The witcher asked as Roach started galloping towards the village.

Jaskier gave a weak laugh in response. “Must be a talent. How did the hunt go? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Geralt sighed and shook his head. “How you had time to worry about others when you were in that situation evades me.”

“Don’t avoid the question!”

“…The hunt went well and I didn’t get hurt.”

“Promise?” the bard asked, knowing the older man had a habit of hiding his injuries from him.

“Promise.”

Jaskier smiled softly and leaned on his chest, all of a sudden feeling very tired. “Good. How’d you find me?”

“I paid a visit to ‘The Rusty Rapier’ and asked about you. After a bit of threatening, the men you cheated at gwent told me where you were.”

“Heh…Took you long enough.” Jaskier grumbled.

“I thought you were just fucking someone’s wife or something, didn’t expect you to be locked in a shed.” Geralt answered but he sounded somewhat apologetic.

Jaskier chuckled. “I was kidding big buy. Thanks for coming.”

Geralt just hummed in response and the bard could feel the vibrations of it on his back as he dozed off.

.......

When he woke up, he found himself back at the inn’s room. He was laying on the bed in his nightclothes and as he sat up, he noticed that his wounds had been bandaged. The sight brought a small smile to his face. He was about to get up when the door opened and Geralt walked in, carrying a bowl of what seemed to be stew and a tankard of ale. He looked surprised to see Jaskier awake. “You’re up.”

“So it seems.”

The witcher placed the food on the table. “How do you feel?”

Jaskier thought about it. “A bit sore.”

Geralt huffed a laugh. “That’s to be expected. Come.”

Jaskier obeyed and got up, making his way to the table. He sat down and started eating eagerly, only now noticing how hungry he was. When he was done, he pushed the empty bowl away and looked up at the older man. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, thank the innkeeper that had to get up and prepare this in the middle of the night.”

“No, not just that. For everything.” He said nodding towards his bandaged arm. “And… I’m sorry for always causing you trouble.”

The witcher looked a bit taken aback by that but he quickly schooled his expression. “It’s fine.”

Jaskier gave him a lopsided smile and looked down on his hands that were resting on his lap. Geralt waited a bit to see if the bard would say anything and when it was apparent that that wasn’t going to happen, he took hold of the bowl and tankard and went downstairs to leave them somewhere for the innkeeper to find in the morning. He also dropped by the stables to check on Roach.

When he returned, the bard barely noticed his presence. He was still sitting in the same position, not having moved at all, looking dazed and forlorn. Geralt’s brows furrowed in worry and he sat down on the bed.

“Jaskier.”

The musician didn’t turn to look at him, still distracted by his own thoughts. “Hm?”

“What’s wrong?”

Jaskier blinked rapidly a few times and looked up at him. “Nothing’s wrong.”

Geralt sighed and rubbed his face. “You’ve been a bit… out of it. Since I found you.” The witcher had never been good with words, that was Jaskier’s job. But he desperately wanted to help his friend, so he pushed on. “I’ve just never seen you so uh. Quiet. You’ve always been unfazed by any situation, cracking jokes even when that griffin dislocated your shoulder.”

The bard glared at him “Well I though you fucking preferred the quiet.” he snapped and then immediately regretted it, his gaze softening. “Sorry… it’s just-” He cut off himself and sighed. He got up and came to sit next to the witcher. “You might laugh at me when you hear this but… I’m afraid of the dark.”

That definitely wasn’t what Geralt expected. “What? How’s that even possible? We’ve made camp in the woods countless times and you always seemed perfectly fine.”

Jaskier let out a nervous laugh. “That’s because you were there with me. I don’t have an issue when I’m with others but when I’m alone I just kind of lose it. Oh, and there’s also a bit of claustrophobia sprinkled in there.”

“Hm. I never would have guessed.”

The younger man snorted. “Well it’s not like I advertise it.” He scratched his cheek and bit his lower lip. “So that’s why being in that shed affected me this much. Anyhow, I’ll be over it by morning probably.” He bumped the witcher with his shoulder. “Don’t worry, my silly little phobias won’t delay our schedule.”

Geralt immediately felt guilty for making his friend think he would care more about being back on the Path than his mental wellbeing. He frowned and took one of the bard’s hands in his own, giving it a little squeeze. “Jask, if you need more time I wouldn’t mind staying here for a few days longer. I-I just want you to be ok.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened and he looked as if he was about to cry. “Oh Geralt… This means a lot to me. Thank you.”

The witcher smiled at him and gave him a look that seemed full of affection, though Jaskier didn’t dare hope. “Anytime.” He coughed to clear his throat. “So… Do you want to talk about it? Your fear of the dark?”

“Well… There’s not much to say really… It started when I was very young, and my parents decided that to keep me from becoming even more of a disappointment they’d have to find new, stricter ways to punish me for my wrongdoings.” He ran his free hand through his hair. “And one of them was locking me inside a dark storage room for days, without giving me any food until they’d deemed that I had learned my lesson.”

Jaskier was retelling all that casually, as if he was talking about the weather but Geralt was horrified by his words. He always had a hunch that the bard likely didn’t have the best childhood- being a disowned noble and all- but he never guessed that it was actually that bad.

Because how could someone that didn’t receive any love as a child be so full of it as an adult? How could someone that grew up in such a joyless environment be able to spread happiness and laughter wherever he went? How could he wear his heart on his sleeve, letting anyone he met just take it from him and trample it down if he knew better?

“Jaskier that’s fucking horrible, how could you call the fear all that trauma has instilled in you just ‘silly little phobias’?!” His voice raised with each word he spoke, and he was yelling by the end of the sentence.

The bard flinched away from him and avoided his gaze. “Because it’s all in the past Geralt. It’s stupid, to be this affected by it still.”

The witcher was at a loss for words. Jaskier was a pretty talkative guy, always chatting about one thing or the other, but he rarely ever mentioned his family and now the older man could see why, even if he couldn’t completely relate.

Part of him would always resent his mother, Visenna, for abandoning him and thus leading him to the life of a witcher but even still, he had retained many nice memories from their short time together. Instances where she hugged and comforted him or sung him a lullaby to sleep, he treasured all of them dearly.

Because at the end of the day, even though it might not have been as strong in comparison to other mothers, Geralt knew in his heart that Visenna loved him.

And knowing that Jaskier probably couldn’t even be sure about that (because how could a parent that starved their child willingly for days and locked them up have any capacity for love and affection? With that being only one of the punishments) was paining him more than the bard could ever imagine. He wanted nothing more than to envelop him in his arms and protect him from the cruel world they were forced to live in.

He was perfectly aware of what all this meant of course. He might have been bad at dealing with emotions but after the first few years of travelling together, even he couldn’t continue to deny the feelings held towards Jaskier.

It was almost inevitable really. After spending so much time with someone like the bard, with his gorgeous smile and cornflower blue eyes, his easy-going attitude, his beautiful singing voice, someone that had not once been afraid because of him and that had stood up for him when others treated him unfairly, he was bound to fall in love.

“It’s not stupid Jask.” He said after a long exhale. “You’re so strong to have gone through something like that. Most people would have broken under such circumstances.”

Jaskier didn’t look convinced and he smiled wryly while shaking his head. “It’s music that saved me y’know. Whenever I was locked up, I would start singing the melody to whatever few songs I knew, and during those times I could almost forget the hunger and the cold and all the expectations I had failed to meet.” He sniffled and rubbed his eyes. “That’s why I decided to become a bard later on. So that I’d be able to create music too, and maybe help other people when they’re feeling down and give them hope through it.”

When the bard finished speaking, Geralt brought his free hand up and wiped a stray tear that had slid down his cheek. “You’ve done a wonderful job so far. I know I don’t say it much, but I really like all your songs. Yes, even the ones about me.”

Jaskier snickered inelegantly, surprised by his words. “You might regret admitting that darling cause I’m never gonna let you live it down.”

Geralt chuckled. “Hm. True that.” He said and gave the musician a small sad smile. Jaskier rolled his eyes elbowed him in the stomach.

“Oh come on, don’t make that face now! Honestly, if I knew you’d be this affected I wouldn’t have told you.” He said teasingly, trying to make this conversation a bit more lighthearted but the witcher wasn’t having it. He grimaced and maneuvered his body to better face the bard.

“Of course I’m affected Jaskier, how could I possibly not be?! To me you are...” He stopped himself before he could finish that sentence. Nothing good would come if he revealed his feelings to Jaskier. Such a bright person that had their whole life ahead of them would never be interested in a witcher. The bard had helped him see himself in a better light in recent years but that didn’t change the fact that he was a monster, a mutant killing machine that was undeserving of the kind and sweet musician.

Jaskier, unaware of Geralt’s internal monologue, tilted his head the side, looking simultaneously curious and adorable. “…To you I’m what?”

Geralt avoided his gaze. Even in the best-case scenario, the witcher could only hope that the bard would take into consideration their friendship and long history together and not show his disgust too much. Maybe even begin a relationship with him out of pity, but it wouldn’t last long.

Geralt had seen the way Jaskier’s previous flings had gone. He always fell head over heels for some random person that he met during their travels and spent a few weeks, or months at most lavishing them with attention but after that time period passed, he’d fall out of love just as quickly and leave his ex-paramour behind as he rejoined the witcher’s side.

It always secretly pleased Geralt, making him feel superior. Because even if he could never really have Jaskier, not like those other people did, at least he had the knowledge that the younger man would always come back to him. It helped lessen the sting of his jealousy.

And if he ever were to be the recipient of Jaskier’s attentions, no matter how nice it could be at first, he wouldn’t be able to bear it when he became the next person Jaskier left behind, especially after getting a taste of everything he ever wanted. That would only serve to haunt him in his dreams.

But the bard deserved to know. He had just laid down his heart and let Geralt see him at his most vulnerable state. That meant he trusted him enough to do that and the witcher wanted to show him how much he appreciated it by in turn showering him with all the love and affection he held for him. So he took one large breath to brace himself and let the truth out.

“To me you’re everything.”

Jaskier’s eyes widened but he didn’t pull away. “Huh?”

Geralt started tracing circular patterns with his thumb on the other man’s hand. “It’s exactly as I said. When I first met you, I thought you were just a stupid kid looking for adventure and easy coin, and that once you had a taste you’d go back where you came from. But you never did. You stuck next to me through thick and thin, no matter how much I tried to push you away or treated you like shit. You were like an angel, entering my life out of the blue and improving it in every aspect.”

“I hadn’t even realized how lonely I was until you came along. Back then I only focused on my job as a witcher, not really caring if I’d make it out alive whenever I fought a monster. But nowadays I’m extra careful and I try harder just so that I can see you again. You’ve made life worth living again Jask and I… I love you.”

Jaskier just stared at him with his mouth hanging open.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was it possible that he was still locked in that shed and had begun to hallucinate from the lack of food? Because this whole situation definitely seemed too good to be true.

He pinched himself hard on the arm for good measure.

“Ouch!” Yeah no, it was real. “Are-are you serious?”

Geralt pursed his lips and nodded, looking almost comically grim. He could hear the other’s heartbeat start to pick up.

“And I understand if you feel uncomfortable and want me to be gone by morning, I’m not expecting anything so-hmph!” He was interrupted as Jaskier’s lips crashed onto his. The witcher froze, not able to comprehend what was happening right away but when he did, he wrapped both arms around the other man’s waist and kissed him back with vigor.

When they eventually had to break apart, they were both breathing heavily and Jaskier rested his forehead on Geralt’s, chest heaving, and felt an involuntary shiver run up his spine. “Gods, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

The older man brought his hand up and started petting his hair gently, feeling giddy and a little nervous. “Me too.”

This had gone much better than expected and no matter how things turned out in the future, he would never regret this moment.

Jaskier pulled away to look him with the brightest smile on his lips, his eyes crinkling in the corners with the force of it. “I love you too dear heart, I have since the day we met.”

Geralt blinked in shock. “You have? But you never said anything and you’ve been in a thousand relationships since then.”

“That’s because I never expected you to feel the same way! No one else could ever compare to you witcher and now that I have you, I’ll never look at other people ever again.”

Jaskier laced their hands back together and brought them up to his mouth, giving a kiss on the back of the witcher’s palm, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. “I promise.”

With all his worries gone, Geralt grinned at his bard and pulled him to his chest for a tight embrace.

They sat there like that for a long time, just basking in each other’s presence and their close proximity.

“…We’re both pretty stupid aren’t we?”

“Pffft, we sure are.” Jaskier said as he nuzzled his lover’s chest when a thought entered his mind. “By the way, how long has it been since you last slept?”

“Two days give or take.”

The bard looked up at him horrified. “What the hell Geralt! We have to fix that immediately.” He said and blew out the few candles that were still lighting the room, before pushing the witcher to lie down on the bed and joining him. They curled around each other on their sides, torsos facing, and Jaskier buried his face on Geralt’s neck as the older man pulled the blankets over them. When they were settled, he wrapped his arms around the bard and tangled their feet together.

The younger man was about to fall asleep when he heard the witcher’s deep voice calling his name.

“Jaskier?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you since before this whole thing happened.”

“M’listening.”

“…Do you want to come to Kaer Morhen with me for the winter?”

Geralt held his breath as he waited for a response. It came in the form of Jaskier pulling back slightly, only to give him a long, gentle kiss.

“Of course I’ll come darling.”

The witcher was relieved and felt excited for the months to come. He smiled softly even though he knew the other man couldn’t see it. “Then we’ll have to buy you one of those thick woolen coats you hate sometime soon.”

Jaskier groaned. “Fuck. I guess it’s worth it.” He gave him one last kiss before closing his eyes once more. “Goodnight love.”

“…Goodnight.” Geralt replied and then dozed off to the best sleep he’d had in decades.

#witcher secret santa #2020 #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geraskier #the witcher #gerlion #dandelion #julian alfred pankratz #fanfiction #text #hurt/comort #whump #love confessions #getting together #idiots to lovers #mutual pining #angst with a happy ending

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vole-mon-amour · 3 years

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Since Steve and Bucky are from another century, for years and years Steve was the only one who called him by his name (and had feelings behind it, loving him in every way). The rest of MCU were either ignoring him or calling him The Winter Soldier ('Barnes' by Natasha in CW once was the best he could get). Even Sam thought that Bucky is beyong saving, that he should be stopped (aka kill him, get rid of him).

Some of the characters in TFATWS were like: 'JaMeS' (Bucky's therapist? Keep it formal, I get it, but that's why she's a bad therapist. There was no trust at all & Bucky was right about it.) Even though this is technically his name, when Zemo named him James in CA: CW, Bucky made it clear that he rejects this name and that his name is Bucky. Not only this is how Steve called him all the time and he accepted this identity, he felt it as it suited him better. Bucky's trust in Ayo and how she called him James in the moment of the fight, when she felt as if he betrayed Wakanda. Because otherwise it's Bucky. It is his name.

The way Bucky was ignored and neglected as Bucky in MCU for years. A side kick. Not important. Without a personality. People not caring about him. Calling him a villain. T'Challa taking him and Steve in, giving the opportunity to break the triggers, the code. Giving the opportunity for a normal life and for other people to acknowledge the existence of Bucky Buchanan Barnes.

Bucky and his name was always like coming home for me. Cosy as a warm blanket, like a cup of tasty cocoa on a particularly cold day.

And now?

Ayo's Bucky. Sharon's Bucky. Sam's development from just saying his name to being his friend and trusting him enough, calling for Bucky's help, the way Steve would call for him, concerned. Every time the world acknowledges Bucky, I still can't believe I'm hearing this. Soft 'Bucky.' Trusting 'Bucky.' Concerned 'Bucky.' Calling for help 'Bucky!''. Laughing & friendly 'Bucky.' Damn it, even 'Jesus, Bucky, you had one job.' I listened to that at least five times. Even Walker's 'Bucky' when he said that he's not trying take Steve's place. Not James but BUCKY, Steve's best friend. Even Walker knew about the connection, felt it.

Bucky saying his own name and happily smiling. "I'm Bucky."

B u c k y. Like the sunshine after the rain. Like a tight hug of a the person you love and cherish with your whole heart. He is out there and people are finally loving him, acknowledging his existence, his right to exist. Acknowledging his beautiful, loyal, pure personality. Talking to him not as a monster, but treating him like a proper human being that has a personality (and always had, but people refused to see it for some reason). And he is still that kid from Brooklyn, the one that wanted for Steve to move in with him after Sarah died. Always ready to help. Always believing in you. Mostly seeing the best in his friends.

B u c k y.

The reason I came into this fandom and the reason I still care. The love of my life. He deserves all the happiness in the world. The world treating him with the same respect he was always treating the world is the least people in MCU can do. After dying for his country, being tortured and brainwashed for 80 years as a result of that, after being thrown back into the fight with just a few months (at best) in Wakanda, the respect of the world and the love of the people around him is the least he deserves. Along with a damn well deserved rest. Peace.

I will love Bucky Buchanan Barnes for as long as I’m breathing. And this show finally hitting me with all those audible pronouns of his name? I felt that. This show is when we hear Bucky's name from anybody but Steve the most. He deserved that a long time ago, but I'm glad he is getting this now. Good for him.

#bucky #the falcon and the winter soldier #faws #bucky barnes #i need a bucky in my life #I'd cherish him every second of our lives #just the way steve did #bucky deserves the whole world #but the world still doesn't deserve him #also #all those people sleeping on bucky in tfa? tws? cw?#but suddenly loving him in tfatws?#lmao #text #not to be dramatic #but i would trust bucky with my life #and i would die for bucky #long post

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lithaxbaby · 3 years

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Feminine feminism

Ever since I was a kid I rejected anything inherently female, I feel like the reasons why are pretty obvious, but I’ll divulge anyway. “Are there any strong boys in the class to help?”, “girls can’t play football with us!”, “you’re so un-ladylike!” “The boys are the doctors and the girls are the nurses”, “No! The prince saves the princess” and I’m sure we all have a lot more experiences of sexism growing up. Now I’m not saying that boys didn’t experience their fair share of sexism growing up, because they certainly have. “Boys don’t cry”, “what kind of boy doesn’t like sports”, “those toys are for girls”. And I acknowledge the fact that sexism towards young boys completely exits because the sexist remarks made to boys are at the same time, sexist to girls too, but it’s not the same vice verse. Let me explain. “Boys don’t cry” - this implies that boys are too strong to cry, but there is no such thing as “girls don’t cry”. Why? You may be asking ourself, well it’s simple really, because girls are weak and feeble, so they can cry. I am in no way saying that telling a young boy to hide his emotions is a compliment or a positive thing, because we all know the effects are detrimental, but what I am saying is even the sexist comments directed at men don’t lift women up, even though the sexist comments directed at women lift men higher than a women could ever be.

Now years later, school has ran it’s course and I’m in the big world. I’m a very confident person, I love who I am and how I look, I never went through the awkward insecure teenage phase, which is most likely down to two things. The first being my amazing family. I was never just my parents pretty daughter, there was always something specific they would pick out and describe to me how beautiful it was, so I was never insecure about my nose or my weight or anything really, because everything about me had it’s beauty described in detail growing up. The second reason sounds like a silly one, but it’s the fact that I always had boys that had crushes on me in school. I don’t seek male validation and I do everything I do for myself, but knowing that no matter if I had a back pack instead of a hand bag or if I didn’t wear make up, the boys still liked me proved to me that maybe my parents were right, I am naturally beautiful while being myself.

There is one thing I don’t like about myself though something I can’t “learn to love” as the media tells you to do, this is something I need to get rid of asap. My internalised sexism. As a child I moulded myself based on how I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel strong and fun, so I became masculine, believing that these stereotypes on women are completely true, and of course I don’t want to be a weak damsel, so therefore I’ll try my hardest to not be a girl. Ive carried that into my current life. No revealing clothes or people wont take you seriously, because they will be reminded you’re a women. I was dressing like Billie Eilish before Billie Eilish. No pink or you’ll be branded as girly AKA stupid. No hobbies like dancing, because it’s not a real sport or even a talent, it’s a boring feminine pass time. No using a napkin to wipe your face or putting a bite size amount of food in your mouth, or else you will look like you care about how you look and be branded as vein and conceded. As I got older I tried to keep playing with the boys, but it became hard. All the boys would go on bike rides, but they didn’t want a girl coming because I’d be too slow, they would play football but they didn’t want a girl playing football because I wasn’t very good and would ruin the game. Now all the boys play video games, but have you ever tried to play video games with boys? “Go make me a sandwich and stop playing on your boyfriends Xbox”, “you are so bad at this game, you obviously only play to impress boys”, and even things that they view as compliments such as “Wow, you’re really good for a girl!”. Growing up I had to deal with sexism from all the adults around me, but now it’s from people I called my friends, saying they aren’t feminists because feminists are crazy bitches, and being called “Will’s lass” (Will is my boyfriend and lass means young/teenage girl in the UK, I’m not a pirate, I promise) as if he is the human and I’m the pet. I’ve had experiences with his family members such as uncles and cousins approaching us at special occasion, look at him and say “is this your lass? she’s gorgeous” as if looking at me everywhere besides in the eyes and commenting on me like an animal or even an inanimate object is a compliment to both me and my boyfriend. My point is, no matter how I breach the universal code of conduct of how a woman should look or act, I still get treated the same way I did as a little girl.

So today I say to myself and anyone else out there feeling the same way: fuck it. Wear all that make up, use that napkin, go to that dance class, use your prettiest pink bag and wear that short skirt. These people that hold these outdated and hateful views aren’t the people you should be changing yourself for. Whether you have long hair and make up on, or short hair and look the same way you woke up, people will judge you for one simple thing and that is the thing between your legs. So show the world how sexy yet smart you are, how ladylike yet strong you are, how great your dancing is yet how many kills you can get on team deathmatch in Call of Duty. Don’t waste your time trying to get sexists of the world to decide you’re masculine enough to not be judged, be who you want to be and give them something to talk about, they’re talking anyway.

#female #feminist #real feminism #intersectional feminism #journal #journey #childhood #self improvement #girly stuff #sexism #blog post #writers on tumblr #writing #womensupportingwomen #womenempowerment #beautiful women #positive mental attitude

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thumb3l1n4 · 4 years

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Thoughts on chapter #293 (AKA a very long post)

I made a post when chapter #292 came out and one person replied with "I love how everyone thinks that villain stans automatically agree with and condone the villains' actions". I don't think myself to be a villain stan, although I do love Horikoshi's villains, since they're all amazingly interesting characters. There are villains that I feel very compassionate to: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Spinner and Toga. And I could instantly relate to Stain's philosophy, while being totally turned off by his actions. I don't think villain stans condone the violent actions of their favorite characters, I'm sorry if my previous post made people believe I do. But from the most recent releases I gathered that there is maybe a small fraction of villain stans that aren't really seeing the intricacies of the full picture. I don't mean this in a bad way: this is definitely the villains' time to shine and I know we were all waiting for the big Dabi-Endeavor showdown since theories were thrown around, so it's normal to be hyper-focused in what our favorite character is doing or what's happening with them. It's easy to forget that there are times and places where it's safe to show our compassion. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda annoyed that some villain stans seem to want the heroes to show compassion to Dabi right now, while they're in the middle of a battle that would decide the sorts of their society. Thanks to Dabi's speech, the civilian's faith in their "picture-perfect" system is crumbling (well, I hope so, because their society sucks on so many levels) and Best Jeanist, who was bashed for absolutely no reason all over Twitter last week, before the official translation was out, knew that that was Dabi's intention all along. Tōya could have told his own story right after Stain's video came out, if he so wanted. He chose to join the League, instead, because as we know now, he might have thought that he would have a better chance to kill Shōto, that way. I can't blame Tōya AT ALL for wanting and needing to see Endeavor, finally, rightfully, punished. However, Dabi throwing the compassion card around in the middle of a life-and-death situation (a situation where his main end-goal is to hurt people), is just peak manipulation...

... Which is awesome for a villain!

It's less awesome if you're standing on the Heroes' side and you're hearing about all the years of abuse that a colleague of yours put his family through, for the first time. I want to note that not a single Hero, till now, has said that they do not believe Dabi (not that I recall, at least). I saw one comment on Tumblr saying they didn't like that Best Jeanist used the word "dirty laundry", the chapter before, but I don't think the Hero said it in disrespect. I think it had more to do with Dabi's intentions behind revealing his truth, than Best Jeanist not believing him, or worse, dismissing him as a victim. Dabi's truth was called "dirty laundry" because Tōya didn't use it to seek justice, for himself and his family, but rather to get revenge on everyone, to create chaos and to excuse his own criminal actions. It's a truth tainted by hatred, not in the sense that fans of the manga and the Heroes should just forget about it: his past and pain are very, very real and Dabi and the rest of the villains need help. But the Heroes cannot take the time to feel sorry for their enemies, right at this moment, because if they do, that's the end. That's kinda what happened between Toga and Uraraka: she needs to stop Toga because while hurting people might come natural to the villain, that's not a healthy way to live. Toga didn't ask to be the way she is, and as a Hero, it should be Uraraka's job to give her the chance to get the treatment she didn't get as a child, that would teach Toga how to deal with her natural urges in a way that is not harmful to anyone. Mind you, Toga didn't seem to like the idea of conforming herself to anyone else's expectations, so she might not want the therapy. Uraraka would still need to give her all to stop the villain, no matter how sorry she actually feels inside for her.

If the villains win, the Heroes will not be able to rectify their society. Only after this fight ends and villains are taken into custody, it would be safe for the Heroes to show their honest reactions to Dabi's revelation. Only then we can hope to see them caring for the villains' health and their truths and possibly demand that Endeavor turns himself in (I actually want him to do so on his own, without external input). The Heroes aren't being heartless, if that's what some villain stans are thinking. They simply do no have the luxury to let Dabi's words manipulate them into feeling bad for him during a fight, because innocent people's lives are at stake here and just because Tōya had a horrible childhood, it doesn't mean that he's gonna care and let those innocent people be. Dabi wants to see the WHOLE world burn.

Onto Deku, now, the second character in two weeks accused by some, of being an abuse apologist.

He's the first character EVER to confront Endeavor on his treatment of Shōto, after seeing how his own classmate was spiralling and hurting himself, because Shōto didn't want to use HIS OWN Quirk to prevent himself from quite literally freeze to death, all because of Endeavor's abuse.

Deku has always wanted to follow All Might's steps and like All Might, he wishes to be able to save everyone in need. Toshinori, however, already told him that that's not realistic and Deku accepted the fact that he can only save the people in need that he's able to reach and as we saw with Shōto, Kota and Eri, he's ready to lay out his own life and break every single bone in his body to do so. He's so determined to save people, even against the worst of odds, that he can twist fate. I think it's exactly this determination of his that made him speak out this time, not only for Shōto, but for Endeavor, too. Do I like that Deku cares? Yes, I'm glad that people like Deku exist, people that genuinely care and wish and pray for criminals to regret what they've done so they can have a chance to right their wrongs and become a better person. Do I think Deku would stop Endeavor from turning himself in or defend Endeavor in front of the other Heroes so they don't take him away and bring him to justice? I might be wrong, Horikoshi can still make a fool out of me, but I don't think so. Deku knows the years of abuse are there and they will never go away. Deku is also the guy who told off Natsuo for trying to make Shōto feel resentful towards their father, when Shōto was somewhat past that and only wanted to heal. Deku recognized that the siblings have all different ways to deal with trauma and told Natsuo that his feelings are valid, but he can't push them onto Shōto, because Shōto's feelings on the matter are just as valid, even if they don't align with those of his big brother.

Just like villain stans can feel compassion towards Dabi because of his past, while being repulsed by his criminal actions in the present, Deku can feel repulsed by Endeavor's abuse of his own family and still see that a part of him (no matter how little it is) wishes to be a better human being. Deku didn't say that Endeavor should be automatically forgiven for his past actions, no one can deny that the abuse still has serious repercussions for every Todoroki involved (yes. EVERY). But the thing with Deku is that once he's seen this tiny, barely-even-there, light in you, he will fight to save you. I don't think that the people calling Deku an abuse apologist are giving his intuition or insight enough credit.

Dabi's not Endeavor: this means that Deku hasn't seen anything in this fight that might hint to Tōya wanting to be saved. Again, the same thing happened between Toga and Uraraka. And sadly, even Twice and Hawks (Hawks miscalculated sooo bad there). It's unfortunate that phrases like "you can only save someone if they want to be saved" and "you cannot help someone who refuses to be helped" still apply to this world, but that's the ugly truth and I'm sure that to someone like Deku that's a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. Endeavor said he wants to right his wrongs: in my opinion, he's still got a lot of work to do, since he should have really started it all off by being honest to everyone about his actions and let justice do its course. During this battle I'm forced to recognize (like Deku does) that Endeavor might actually be able to reedem himself, after actually atoning for his crimes. I cannot say the same for Dabi, because he doesn't want to atone for the bad things he has done. I didn't see Deku's speech as him excusing Endeavor's abuse to his victim or conceding the point to Tōya, that Heroes don't care about villains. I saw it as Deku telling Dabi to stop using his own abuse as an excuse to hurt other victims (Shōto, Natsuo, Fuyumi and Rei) because as harsh as it sounds, Tōya can't demand compassion for his own pain while being uncapable of showing compassion to his own little brother. Maybe Tōya doesn't actually know everything that Shōto has suffered through, maybe he thinks that his little brother got lucky with his Quirk and didn't have it as bad as he did. That's not his place to say. Dabi is making a contest out of their family's pain, trying to declare which Todoroki got it worse (clearly believing that it's him and that that allows him to do whatever he wants to, now), so I reiterate: he can't ask for compassion in the middle of the battle and the Heroes are actually doing the right thing, not letting themselves being manipulated like that and basically forfeiting the fight.

AFTER this arc ends, I truly hope to see the Heroes showing their compassion for the villains. I hope they would get rid of that obnoxious Hero Ranking and that the society would stop festering the idea that only certain Quirks and their users are strong and valuable and deserving of a voice. I hope they could change their world so that people like Tenko, Tōya, Jin, Himiko and Shuichi are able to ask for help AND BE HELPED before it is too late.

#bnha 293 #bnha dabi #toya todoroki #endeavor #bnha deku #midoriya izuku #bnha mha #this is so long #sorry lmao #you might get bored before you finish reading #sorry for any mistakes #english is not my first language

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mamabearcatfanfics · 5 years

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Teaser for The Ronin

New blog, who dis? Hey, it’s Dani aka BearPlusCat, and this is now my writing blog. I’ll be reblogging all my writing over on my regular blog too, but if you’re just wanting the fanfics, and only the fanfics, this will be the place to come. Eventually I’ll put all the links to my already posted work on here too, so they’re easy to find.

I had wanted to celebrate the new blog with the next chapter of The Ronin, but it’s going a little slower than I wanted. So, I thought you might all like a little teaser, where Sango is everyone’s Big Sister.

The Ronin - Teaser Scene from Part Four

Sango began her walk back to Kaede’s hut with a sigh. Shippou was saying goodbye to his friends and would then be on his way back for dinner, but she hadn’t been able to find Inuyasha or Miroku at all. She could tell Kagome was worried about Inuyasha’s absence; she had been jumpy and anxious all afternoon, so whatever had happened last night had really upset her. Maybe she could try to coax whatever happened out of Kagome this evening, after she’d had eaten.

She rounded the corner of the path that led to Kaede’s only to have Kagome nearly knock into her as she ran past.

“Kagome? Kagome!”

Kagome kept going, head down as she sprinted towards the river, and Sango lost sight of her as the twisting dirt path took Kagome in behind the trees and out of her sight. Before Sango could even turn to follow, Inuyasha barreled into her, grabbing her arm to stop her being knocked to the ground.

His nose twitched frantically. “Sango, did Kagome go this way?” His head was already turned in the direction she’d taken.

“Yes, it looks like she’s headed to the river.” Sango narrowed her eyes at him, then poked him in the chest with a stiff forefinger. “What did you do, baka?! She looked really upset!”

Inuyasha huffed angrily, ignoring her question. He had already turned to continue his chase after Kagome, but then he stopped. Sango was taken aback at his suddenly serious expression.

“Sango, you’re a woman.”

“Your powers of observation grow stronger everyday Inuyasha”, Sango said dryly.

He growled angrily. “Shut up! I mean… Kagome, she’s upset about… and I don’t… she just might need to talk to a woman Sango, after what happened last night”, stuttered Inuyasha. He was avoiding her gaze, eyes and ears lowered.

“Oh no!” Sango’s hand reached up to cover her mouth in horror.

His voice was almost a whisper. “I went back to her mother’s house to get her new clothes and soap to wash with, because I thought it might make her feel better, and get rid of…”, his fist clenched around the hilt of his Tessaiga and his jaw bunched. He let out a deep breath. “Anyway, it made her upset. I thought I was bein’ helpful, but I made her cry. That’s the last thing I wanted.”

“I’ll go” she breathed. No wonder Kagome was so anxious and upset. No wonder Inuyasha was beside himself. She hesitantly reached out a hand and placed it gently on his forearm. “Inuyasha, I need you to tell me. Was Kagome raped?” She ignored his deep low growl and gnashing teeth, and waited patiently for his answer. If she was going to comfort her friend, she needed as much information as possible so she didn’t say the wrong thing. She would not walk into this blind.

“She says no”, he ground out after a few moments. “But that fuckin’ bastard touched her. I can still smell him, even after takin’ her to a hot spring this morning after we got away. And she said there was a woman too, a brothel owner.” His ears flicked toward the river. “Sango, go! She’s… she’s cryin’.”

“It will be okay, Inuyasha”, Sango said softly, her heart twisting a little at the broken look on Inuyasha’s face. “We’ll help her through this.” And she took off at a run towards the river, unheeding of the white and red shadow following close behind.

The scene below her nearly broke her heart. Kagome was sobbing, crouched naked in the water where the river ran deep enough to cover her thighs. Her hands were frantically scrubbing at herself with the soap, her usually pale skin reddened by the cold river and the friction of her fingers.

Sango slid down the embankment, kicking off her zori before wading out into the water.

“Kagome, stop! It’s okay”, she called out, trying to keep her voice calm.

Kagome kept scrubbing. “No, you don’t understand!” she sobbed. “Inuyasha, he could still smell him. I could tell. He wouldn’t come near me. He won’t come near me until the smell is gone. What if I can’t get rid of it Sango? I don’t think I could bear it if he kept away.”

Sango’s hands reached out to gently grab Kagome’s shaking hands and keep them still. She averted her eyes from the livid fingerprint sized bruising on Kagome’s breasts, and kept her eyes on her face. “I don’t think there’s anything alive or dead that would keep Inuyasha away from you Kagome.”

“You didn’t see!” Kagome moaned. “You didn’t see the way he wouldn’t look at me. He was holding his breath Sango, like he couldn’t stand to smell me.” She slumped into the water, her shoulders shaking as Sango cradled her wet body against hers. “There was a man last night. He knocked Inuyasha out, and dragged us both back to his village. I tried so hard to fight that man off Sango, but I’m not as strong as you are. And then he was hurting Inuyasha. He was beating him up while he was unconscious, while he was human. I was so frightened for him, I thought the man was going to kill him. I would have done anything to keep him safe, even let him… but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want it.”

Sango drew in a deep breath. She knew reacting to the stranger’s unwanted scent on Kagome’s body wasn’t entirely Inuyasha’s fault, but he was such a baka to let her see his revulsion when she didn’t understand! She stroked Kagome’s damp tangled hair.

“It’s going to be okay Kagome. Will you let me wash your hair for you?” Kagome had washed Sango’s hair for her on occasion with her modern soap in a bottle, and Sango had found the experience very relaxing. She hoped it would help Kagome calm down before they talked about what had happened.

Kagome nodded, hiccuping back her tears, and Sango retrieved the bottles from the red backpack on the bank of the river. Resting the bottles on a handy rock close by to where Kagome was still slumped in the river, she poured a palmful of the sweet smelling soap into her hand, smiling at Kagome’s gentle sigh when Sango’s fingers stroked against her scalp, working the slippery shampoo into a lather.

Kagome seemed calmer now the frantic scrubbing with the bar of soap had stopped, and her previous sobs were now sniffs and broken sighs. Sango knew Inuyasha had to be somewhere close, to keep a watch on Kagome. There was no way that he would leave Kagome unprotected after what had happened, especially not when he’d heard her crying.

As she massaged the shampoo into Kagome’s long dark locks, she thought about Kagome and Inuyasha’s interactions over the last few months. It was very clear to both her and Miroku that there were strong feelings between the pair. They’d both been keeping an eye on things, ready to tease a little on occasion, but also ready and willing to encourage the growing attraction between their friends.

They’d both noticed the words of praise, the deliberate touches and shared blushes. Sango had even seen Kagome tweak his ears once or twice and she’d had to stifle her giggles at the sudden redness of Inuyasha’s cheeks. And despite his verbal complaints, it was amusing to watch Inuyasha bend over backwards to make sure Kagome’s every need was met. Not to mention the way that he carried her around to ensure that his scent was covering both her and her backpack completely. And who could forget his aggressiveness towards Kouga anytime he put his hands on Kagome.

Sango nodded to herself. She needed to clear this misunderstanding up for them. It wasn’t Kagome’s fault she had no knowledge about youkai, and it wasn’t entirely Inuyasha’s either. It was pretty clear the big baka didn’t know what was going on himself, which was no surprise considering his isolation from other youkai as a young child.

“Hey Kagome, has Inuyasha ever explained anything to you about how youkai use scent?” she asked gently as she massaged the last bits of shampoo into her hair.

Kagome sniffed. “Uh, no, not really. I mean I know he has an excellent sense of smell, and he uses it for tracking. It’s saved all of us at one time or another. It’s pretty amazing how he can do that.”

Sango grinned despite her current empathy for Kagome’s situation, her fingers coaxing Kagome to lean back and dip her hair into the water so she could rinse the shampoo. She’d just heard a rustle in the branches close by, and she was pretty sure the slight movement had been caused by a puffed up inuhanyou reacting to the praise of his intended. Time for big sister Sango to push these two pining lovebirds a little closer together and help ease the hurt over what she was sure was a misunderstanding.

“That is true, Inuyasha is an excellent tracker. But I was talking about scent marking.”

Kagome stiffened. “Like dogs do when they pee on things? Sango, surely you’re not suggesting that…”

Sango couldn’t hold back the cackle of laughter that escaped. “No, no, not like that!” She reached for the conditioner and began gently combing it through Kagome’s hair with her fingers, being sure to ease out any tangles. “My father taught us that everyone, both human and youkai, has a signature scent. A base scent which alters slightly based on emotions and health. We humans don’t use our sense of smell like that, but to a youkai, this personal scent is vital. Any possessions of importance will always be covered in their scent, to signify ownership to other youkai, but it goes further than that. If a youkai found someone that they considered as a potential mate, someone they cared for very much, then they would want them to wear their scent too, at every opportunity.” Sango’s voice took on a slightly teasing tone. “Why, they might even go so far as to carry them around to ensure that person were covered in it.”

Kagome stiffened under Sango’s gentle touch, and a loud thud came from the trees behind them. Sango’s mouth twisted in her effort to contain a sudden burst of laughter, and she continued talking as if she had noticed neither the noise or Kagome’s tension.

“And it works both ways – that person’s scent would be important to them also. It would help to calm them if they were upset or angry. Even if they were at the point of losing control, their intended’s scent could bring them back. And helping their loved one wash away the scent of pain, upset, or injury is the role of a mate - it creates a loving bond between them to be only covered in the scent of the other.”

“Do… all youkai… do this?” asked Kagome hesitantly.

“As far as I know”, said Sango. “It would be something that would be taught at a young age, I think - learning the combined scent of their parents as the ‘family’ smell of safety. But also, I’m pretty sure it would be instinctive - even if a youkai had never been taught about scent marking as a child, they would still want their intended to be covered in their scent.”

“What if… that person smelt like someone else. Would it make them angry?”

Kagome’s voice was shaky, and Sango made her answer very clear, leaning forward to wrap her arms around Kagome’s shoulders.

“I am certain that their anger would only be directed at the person who had wronged their loved one, not their intended themselves. Their only wish would be to help them, to get rid of the scent of fear and upset, to make them feel loved. And they would want their loved one’s scent free of the other person’s scent to derive comfort from them, because they would also be upset.”

She coaxed Kagome back to rinse the conditioner from her hair. “Let’s get you dry and into some clean clothes. If you feel ready to talk about what happened, I’m happy to listen, always.”

Kagome pulled on clean underwear, and a soft pair of pants and a shirt that Sango recognised as one she often wore to bed. She sat behind her, drying Kagome’s hair with a towel as Kagome told her everything that had happened the previous night, and then right up until she’d run out of Kaede’s hut. Sango was quiet for a moment.

“Kagome, I’m so sorry for what happened. But you should also be very proud. You did everything you could; you knew you didn’t have the physical strength to fight back, so you used your mind.” Sango’s voice grew very stern and clipped. “It sounds like this man has done this more than once, and will keep preying on those weaker than himself. I know that Inuyasha will want to go back to avenge you, and to tell you the truth, this man deserves everything that’s coming to him.”

Kagome sighed. “I know he deserves to be punished, but Inuyasha going to kill him just because of revenge doesn’t sit right with me”, she said softly. “I know I won’t be able to talk him out of it either - the only reason he didn’t go back right away was because he wanted to take care of me. I wish I was stronger. Sometimes I feel like he must be so tired of looking out for me. He was so angry, Sango.” Kagome’s eyes filled with tears, which slowly spilled down her cheeks, and she briskly scrubbed them away with the heel of her hand.

“Kagome, Inuyasha isn’t mad at you”, she said softly, braiding Kagome’s damp hair in a long plait down her back. “He’s probably feeling very guilty about not being able to protect you, and afraid of losing control - even I could feel his youki flaring this afternoon when we first saw you. I’m just guessing, but I think he has a lot of instincts he doesn’t quite understand, because he had no one to teach him, apart from Myoga. Inuyoukai are very protective by nature.”

“You really don’t think he’s angry at me?”

“No.” Sango helped Kagome to her feet. “He got the clothes for you, and the bathing things, because he thought you might want them. Yes, he was being a baka about the scent, but I think you should forgive him, because he didn’t mean it the way you thought he did. He just wanted to make you feel better, that’s all.”

Kagome’s bottom lip quivered. “And I ran away.”

“You ran away, but I’m sure he understands Kagome.” A rustling in the bushes nearby had them both turning their heads. Inuyasha slowly stepped out from the shadows, his eyes averted from both of them.

“Oh good!”, smiled Sango. “Inuyasha can walk you back Kagome. I’ll go on ahead and make sure there’s still stew left for the two of you. Shippou seems to be going through a growth spurt at the moment - he’s getting too greedy for his own good.”

She brushed past Inuyasha, whispering “be gentle” to him as she walked back towards the village. She had done the best she could for them. Now they needed to sort the rest out for themselves.

#bearpluscat fanfics #the ronin #inukag fanfic #inuyasha x kagome

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years

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Do you think like hange's death was needed for armin to grow , levi might die for mikasa to step up? When levi got hurt during female titan arc, she made sure that she was doing her best to assist humanity in bringing down the female titan. So, could that be her final push or do you see levi surviving this? I expected mikasa and kiyomi to talk but that didn't happen, now I am just hopeful for an ackertalk but based on how fast things are going I don't know anymore.

Beside the fact Levi wanted to respect Hanji sacrificing themself what do you think of the people's statement that says this ruins their development because Levi just let them go without even attempting to stop them? Also wanted to ask u thins regarding the same statement it's because levi's personal feelings towards erwin and he's just done with even trying to hope for the best so they simply let Hanji go. I'd like to read your interpretation.

(I've already asked this from someone else but I'd like to know your thoughts as well) Do u think Levi should've at least suggested they shouldn't use the commander as bait and use other characters just like he did back in Shinganshina? I understand Hanji didn't want anyone to stop them, but I've seen discussions of people saying Levi let Hanji go too easily and didn't even try in the slightest to stop them. Sometimes I feel like yams just wanted to get rid of the vets. Do you think so?

Hi! I've seen discussions criticizing Hanji's death, in particular how Levi and Jean could fight in their stead. It's clear Levi isn't even agile enough and they're not even sure of his combat abilities atm so it makes sense for him to stay behind. Although in the same statements it was brought up that he will have to fight Eren or Zeke eventually without having the strength so why not using it now so they could save Hanji? What do u think? I'd like to read ur opinion abt Jean too :)

I'm usually neutral to snk ships but gosh this "if it was Moblit he would've stopped Hanji from going to the battlefield" and "Levi didn't care much about Hanji's life so he let them go" is really getting out of hand in the fandom. I hold no grudge against HanjixMoblit, but this opinion is full of errors. Sorry for spamming you with this. I know you're not the biggest fan of shipping in the snk universe.

Hello anons,

I think that symbolically Hange’s death is because in this way the younger characters can grow. It is definately true that in real life one does not need to lose mentor/parental figures to become an adult. However, snk is a narrative and in stories it is common (even if it is not necessary) for mentor figures to die. This is mostly true for a story, which is full of war and violence like snk is.

In short, yes, I think that Hange’s death specifically was also so that Armin could be made commander and is so forced to grow up. Up until this point Armin has been incredibly passive and has refused to take care, so it makes sense that he loses the last person he can turn to to receive orders.

When it comes to Levi, him dying to motivate Mikasa instead is a possibility, since they are strong foils and parallels. As for now, I am on the fence. On one hand it would make sense for the last mentor figure to die. On the other hand Levi has not been playing a mentor role this arc and has received his personal focus with Zeke. That said, he can both die, so that the 104th must move on and solve his conflict with Zeke.

As far as how Hange’s death happens in story, I think it was handled decently. They are in an emergency and have very little time to decide what to do, so Hange acts as a commander and takes charge. They decide they are gonna sacrifice themselves for the others, so that there is still a chance to stop Eren. In a sense, they follow in Shadis and Magath’s footsteps. I mean, why did Magath stay and did not order someone else to stay in his stead? He was the commander of the Warriors just like Hange was the SC’s commander. Still, he chose to stay to redeem himself and the feeling I got while reading the chapter was that Hange felt something similar, but different.

In the chapter Hange aknowledges twice that they could not offer any alternative to the POVs and plans they disagreed with (Yelena’s and Floch’s). Still, they decided not to give up and to take responsibility in some way. I feel that this is why they decide to go. They wanna act as a leader and save their comrades.

As far as to why Hange is the one, who goes instead of Armin and Reiner, Hange states that they can’t afford to lose titan shifters at this stage. Symbolically they stop two of the most self-sacrificial characters. Reiner and Armin are parallels because they both despise themselves and always search for a way to die heroically. However, the story keeps negating them this way out because they are asked not to run away passively, but to face life actively and to solve the conflict. Here, Hange negates them death once again. It is a part of a pattern.

When it comes to Levi and Jean, I think that, narratively speaking, they both have other conflicts to settle. It was not by chance that Jean is the one listening to Floche’s last words. He is probably going to somehow inherit them and to give them importance in the future. He will probably convey them in a more nuanced way compared to Floche’s. After all, Jean has always been the one more sympathetic to the Jeagerists and islanders’ reasons, even if he could not bring himself to side with them. Levi, as I have stated above, has a conflict to settle with Zeke.

In-story, I doubt Levi would have managed to buy enough time (he can barely stand). As far as Jean is concerned, I think that he and the others simply had very little time to elaborate things. Hange announced they would go and went without letting the 104th time to protest. There is also the fact that they are out of time and can’t start a discussion, not to consider Hange is their superior and they all look up to them and usually listen to them. Anyway, it is clear from the looks in their eyes that they are shocked.

Finally, the interaction between Levi and Hange shows that they clearly care about each other. All in all, Levi does the same thing he had done with Erwin aka respected his comrade’s wish to die as they want. In the chapter it is said that Hange has started talking like Erwin.

They too have started thinking about their dead comrades and how they would react and it is clear that they have been struggling with the role of commander. When they say goodbye to Levi, they even states they want to die on their own terms. This is basically what happened with Erwin. Erwin too wanted to die free and as himself and the point of the Serum Bowl was for Levi to realize it. Here, Levi is simply respecting Hange’s will.

There is also the fact that the characters are all leaving on a very dangerous mission and that they are not even sure they will survive and this is bound to influence their reaction to situations.

Thank you for the ask!

#snk #snk 132 #asksfullofsugar #anonymous

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force-dyad · 5 years

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“Try for Some Remorse” A Look At Palpatine’s Role In Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

It has been said by many, including the creator: George Lucas that Star Wars is a children’s story. Star Wars largely encompasses themes of forgiveness, redemption, compassion, and hope. Dave Filoni himself has stated that “There’s a redemption for most characters– if not all characters– in Star Wars films and there’s an arc and a path to when they let go and stop being selfish.” This is an important read to have on the Star Wars franchise when going into The Rise of Skywalker because we can assume that Kylo Ren, the wayward son of Han and Leia, is on a path towards redemption. He and Rey are set to right the wrongs of the generations that came before them. My personal read of the story makes me think that we will get a happy ending where Ben Solo comes back to the light and his family. I believe he will be forgiven and given a chance at his new life, a life that Anakin was never able to live. So where does Palpatine’s ending fall in all of this?

Palpatine. Sheev Palpatine (as was revealed in the 2014 novel, Tarkin by James Luceno) is not a sympathetic character. He is probably one of the only characters that the majority of the fandom agrees will need to go in order for the Skywalker family (and the galaxy alike) to live in peace. His selfishness and need for power is Voldemort like in that actual human life is expendable to him. He only cares about one thing: gaining the most power. In the Rebels episode, “A World Between Worlds” it is revealed that whoever controls the world between worlds will control the very universe. In that same episode, our heroes, Ezra and Ahsoka, just nearly escape Palpatine in his quest to access the portal. This episode just reinforces how knowledgeable Palpatine is in terms of the machinations of the force, and highlights what his final game plan will be. Now that we know that he is back, corporeal or not, we can assume that he will attempt to use Rey and Kylo, to access this portal, given the magnitude of importance that the portal holds.

So we can assume that Palpatine will assuredly be back to his schemes of trying to control the Skywalker (Kylo) in order to control the Universe, given his track record of controlling the Skywalker (Vader) to control the Universe (badumtss). But I think he will have a different end than the one in Return of the Jedi. Darth Vader finally “murders” his master at the end of ROTJ, but The Rise of Skywalker trailer including his laugh at the end emphasizes that whatever happened in Episode VI was not enough to truly get rid of the phantom menace. According to George Lucas, the Sith cannot come back as force ghosts, so I don’t think that is how Palpatine will return. I can’t pretend to know how he’ll return, but I’m just crossing the force ghost option out due to the rules imposed by Lucas (though I realize that they can change at any time, but since a lot of the current Lucasfilm team worked under Lucas, I believe they’ll want to respect his vision). Whatever form of Palpatine that Kylo, Rey, and the resistance go up against will have to be defeated in a way that has not been attempted before. The traditional “final battle” will have to be subverted in order for Palpatine’s destruction to feel believable. If a murder is the simple solution to destroying Palpatine, the ultimate villain, then why was the sequel trilogy even made? According to Kathleen Kennedy, Palpatine was always a part of the plan, and I believe her, but like I’ve said, they’ll have to do something different. Before The Force Awakens came out, Kathleen Kennedy gave a quote “I think we can’t explore in quite as much detail issues of compassion, the way [Lucas] did in terms of the values of the Jedi. But we’re going to get there, let’s put it that way. In the arc of all three movies, that will increase.”

In Return of the Jedi, we see Darth Sidious egging Luke on as he fights his father, Darth Vader. Darth Sidious encourages Luke to embrace the anger inside of his heart, “Your hate has made you powerful, let the hate flow through you, and your transformation to the dark side will be complete” he goads Luke on to embrace his feelings of hatred, and anger to embrace the power of the dark side so that Luke could defeat Vader, but the true lesson that one must learn is that fighting is not the way to defeat your enemy. Rose Tico sums up all of Star Wars in The Last Jedi when she tells Finn: “That’s how we’re going to win. Not fighting what we hate. Saving what we love.” Luke proves to be the walking embodiment of that quote once again when he faces off against his nephew, Kylo Ren. Luke has blame to share with regards to Ben’s fall, and though he knows that he can not save him, he still goes to confront him to help save his family and the resistance. Since he is a force projection, he cannot use any offensive tactics against Kylo, nor can Kylo hurt him in any way. He bides time for the resistance to escape, while ensuring that his nephew does not kill off the resistance. Ultimately, Luke chose not to fight two times: against his father, and against his nephew. I think letting go of negative emotions and doing anything possible to protect people is the true way towards balance. Kylo Ren is not at that part of his journey (yet), but I think he is on his journey towards letting go. While Luke and Kylo’s confrontation on Crait was about saving the resistance on the surface level, I believe that the color of the salt going from white to red back to white during the course of their confrontation is symbolic of healing wounds, both Ben and Luke’s. While it’s not a light sided emotion to have anger, it is healthy to confront it. Maybe not in the way Kylo has done so far, but I believe that he’s on the journey towards letting go of his anger, resentment, and hatred.

This is where I believe the final confrontation comes in. Like I said, I think it would be too much of a retread if Kylo and Rey confronted Palpatine and it ended in Palpatine getting the chop via Lightsaber. The Last Jedi already showed us this through Snoke. Snoke tried to have Kylo kill Rey, but Kylo, in a grab for power and to save Rey alike, killed him with the Skywalker saber. Now will The Rise of Skywalker give us the same ending for the biggest bad of them all? I don’t think so because murder is inherently evil. In an interview with Bill Moyers, George Lucas said “…everybody has the choice of being a hero or not being a hero every day of their lives. And you can either help somebody, you can be compassionate toward people, or you can treat some people with dignity or not. And one way you become a hero, and the other way, you’re part of the problem.”

And the other way, you’re part of the problem. I believe that redemption for Ben Solo is inevitable, and I believe he will live and strive towards being a balanced individual for the rest of his life. That being said, I think that when he and Rey finally confront Palpatine, it’ll take a different route than Vader pushing Sidious down the reactor shaft. I do believe that Ben Solo will definitely resent Palpatine for all that has happened to his family because of his influence, but I think that it will end differently. Vader had to deal with years of Palpatine belittling him. From what we know, Kylo already had that type of relationship with a “master” aka Snoke and he already murdered him.

One of the reasons why murdering Palpatine will not work is because we have seen skilled force users such as Yoda, Mace Windu, and Anakin fight him (or throw him down a shaft), but he has gotten away each time. (I mean, maybe he won’t be in his old body in TROS, but I believe he, or maybe his soul, must have escaped somehow.) An ending where Palpatine is destroyed in the same way as ROTJ will lead to many questions for Disney like “So this is not the end of the timeline for the Skywalkers since Palpatine will probably be able to come back, right?” They have to figure out a way where the death of Palpatine will be believable and true to the message of hope and choosing the light, so that people don’t question it. (Remember: If you don’t see what happens to the body, anything is possible.)

This leads me into talking about how I think he will be defeated… Through compassion. Now you may be asking yourself: what? And trust me, I understand the hesitation…Sheev “Darth Sidious” Palpatine is probably the closest thing we get to the devil in the story. J.J. Abrams referred to him as the ultimate evil. But there are many examples in children’s media that help inform how the end of the Skywalker Saga could go. Children’s media tries to teach us that murder is not the way to finish the evil. Specifically I want to talk about Voldermort and Lord Ozai from Harry Potter and Avatar: The Last Airbender, respectively.

In Harry Potter, Voldemort is the ultimate evil. He is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He’s someone that does not care about the humanity around him. He kills Harry Potter’s parents and attempts to murder Harry Potter, which is his ultimate downfall. In Harry Potter, there is a prophecy that says that someone will kill Voldemort but that “neither could live while the other survives,” but like all great stories, prophecies are not truly activated until someone seeks to prevent their fate. This ultimately leads to his defeat; but his defeat wasn’t as simple as Harry shooting the killing curse at him. During the final confrontation, Harry uses a disarming spell (basically a defensive mechanism). Harry tries to appeal to Voldemort’s humanity.“It’s your one last chance,” said Harry, “and it’s all you’ve got left… I’ve seen what you’ll be otherwise… Be a man… try… Try for some remorse…” Even through all the pain and horror and destruction that Voldemort has caused Harry Potter’s life, he still tries to appeal to Voldemort / Tom Riddle’s humanity, much like Dumbledore, who always called Voldemort by his given name. Appealing to his humanity is appealing to what Voldemort hates the most, as his number one fear is mortality and losing his power. Sound familiar? A Sith lives without love because they reject any emotion that will bring them closer to the light. A famous Dumbledore quote is: “Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love.” Pity: “the feeling of sorrow and compassion caused by the suffering and misfortunes of others.” Voldemort’s end is ultimately due to his own hubris and misunderstanding of wand lore. His own hubris brought him down, not Harry.

Another similar scenario is Avatar Aang in the series Avatar: The Last Airbender In this story, Aang must defeat the evil Fire Lord who has seeks to conquer through destruction. The previous Avatars all tell him that he must kill Ozai to bring an end to the war, but still Aang cannot. Avatar Aang is an air nomad who has been taught to respect all life, so the act of murder is something that he cannot come to terms with. When Aang finally confronts Ozai, he reiterates that they do not have to fight and goes on to use defensive moves against Ozai, avoiding the fire bender. It isn’t until he reaches his Avatar State (aka all the avatars join forces and he becomes all powerful) that he starts using brute force, but before he strikes the killing blow, Aang returns to his own body and stops it. In order to stop Ozai, Aang takes away his bending power, leaving him powerless.

Both of these methods have brought in complaints from fans. Why wasn’t this ultimate evil power attacked by the main protagonist? People found the final battle in Harry Potter to be anti-climactic since Harry uses his signature spell of expelliarmus, something that everyone from his peers to the Death Eaters (Voldemort’s followers) criticize and call him weak for using. With Avatar, it’s the same argument: where’s the death? But I put forth that these people should not be looking for destructive mechanisms in a children’s story. Those methods are always painted in bad light. We might think that that will be the true way to get rid of evil in the world, but as adults, we see things differently than children. One of the reasons why evil prevails is because of lack of empathy and compassion. It is foolish to say that evil will be defeated completely through showing those things towards evil people, but that’s the only way to defend the light.

I think Ben Solo showing compassion towards Palpatine is not at all about Palpatine getting a redemption arc. I think the only way for Kylo to truly heal is to let go of any and all anger. I would even go as far as saying that he will forgive Palpatine. Not because he deserves forgiveness or because of any true feelings of fondness towards him, but because letting go of the resentment and anger and grief that Palpatine has caused is the only way to truly move on. Kylo holding a grudge or attacking Palpatine in anger will not fix the force. I believe that through showing Palpatine some kind of compassion, Palpatine will go on a self-destructive path. This way, we’ll have a different way of defeating evil that ultimately shows us the reason why the sequel trilogy had to exist to fix the Skywalker story. It also shows us that we must choose the light in as many situations as possible and let go. The key to a happy life is being able to let go: of fear, of anger, and the negative emotions that led to two Skywalkers falling to the dark side.

Thanks for reading! And of course, thanks to BlindManBaldwin for posting the original post about Sheev’s role in IX + Compassion and for talking through this with me! Check out my podcast on it on Soundcloud, or wherever you find podcasts!

#sheev palpatine #kylo ren #star wars #is this meta?#meta #the rise of skywalker #bendemption #darth sidious #i edited this on mobile and it ate the text!!!!! good thing i saved this somewhere else

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susspirria · 5 years

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Guiltless - Chapter 2

Fandom: Borderlands

Pairing: Rhys/Handsome Jack (Rhack)

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting,Alternate Universe - Serial Killers,Alternate Universe - Soulmates,Human Trafficking,Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con,Forced Prostitution,Child Abuse,Childhood Trauma,Insecure Rhys,Hurt Rhys,Dark Rhys,Shy Rhys,Scared Rhys,Jack being Jack,Jack Feels,Murder Husbands,Murder Kink,Brutal Murder,Hero Worship,Hero Complex,Angst and Hurt/Comfort,Rewrite,Jack Spoils Rhys,Sugar Daddy,Tenderness,Twisted and Fluffy Feelings

Summary: In which, Jack is a transient serial killer who believes himself to be a hero. While he's on the road he runs into his emotionally damaged and fragile soul mate, Rhys.

Jack is surprised that someone like him would have a soul mate, even someone trapped in such a shady situation as Rhys is. Rhys is surprised that anyone could be so kind to him, but especially a man like Jack.

(AKA a total strip the bones rewrite of my old fic Kismet)

Read more on Ao3 or below the cut :)

The first time that Jack had killed someone, it was more or less an accident. He had been fifteen at the time and living in the glorified hell house that he and his twin brother had grown up in. Their grandmother’s house. Granny Lawrence was a hard woman to please.

She ruled their house with an iron fist and had no issue letting both Jack and Tim know that they were unwanted castaways that she had been forced to deal with. “It’s out of the kindness of my heart that I don’t throw you worthless boys out.” She would say to them often. “It’s because I’m a good christian that I didn’t drop the two of you off a bridge when your worthless mother left you on my doorstep.” She would say, nearly as often.

Jack was pretty sure that there was no god, but if even if a god did exist, she sure as hell wasn’t getting into heaven. He had returned home late in the day that it had happened, he’d been hanging around the outskirts of town – up to no good of course. They lived in a rural town, so, really the only sort of fun that a teenager could get up to was in the middle of the woods or at the bottom of a bottle. He didn’t bring Timothy along, because, really that wasn’t the sort of thing that he liked to do. Timothy didn’t like partying and Jack’s friends made him nervous. He usually preferred to keep to himself, for the most part, writing novels and acting in plays at their school. They might have looked identical but they weren’t the same – Timothy didn’t act like Jack in all the ways that counted. He was a nice and gentle sort of person – he was creative, sensitive and he didn’t go around breaking rules.

Jack thought that, maybe if he had dragged him along, none of this would have ever happened.

When he walked into the house, he could feel that something was off. There was a tension in the air that he couldn’t quite put a finger on, but instinctively he felt bothered by it. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, he knew that something was wrong.

He walked through the threshold of the house and the feeling just got more intense with each and every step that he took forward into the house. Once he was in the living room, he saw exactly what was wrong. Timothy was on his knees, clutching his cheek in pain, their grandmother was behind him holding the rusty and dull buzz saw that she liked to beat them with.

Jack winced when he saw it, briefly remembering the many times that he had been beaten with it before and all of the scars that it left him with, before he felt a deep seated rage at the idea of her hitting Timothy. Hitting Jack was one thing, he could take it and he was used to failing to meet her high expectations. He was used to being punished, even if it was rarely ever fair. And he could handle the pain, he was strong enough to take it – he had always been the stronger one, out of the two of them. He had always been the one that took the blame when either of them did something wrong,

Jack ran up behind her, nearly blind with rage. “Get off of him!” He snapped, running towards her with a speed and determination that he had had no idea he even possessed. He grabbed her by the hair and she let out an inhuman sounding shriek. He dragged her for a bit and threw her into the wall, slammed her head against it once, twice, three times before he finally let her go, his anger quelled. She crumpled into a heap on the floor, blood pooling under hear head. Jack was in such a weird, fuzzy head space that at first, he didn’t realize that she was dead. That he had killed her. The only thought that had been in his mind was that he had to protect his brother – no one else would, especially not Tim.

But Timothy knew what had happened. He had seen it, nearly as soon as she hit the ground. He was frozen with shock and horror, he couldn’t believe that Jack could do something like that, even to someone as horrid as their grandmother. He covered his mouth tightly with his fist in a pathetic attempt to stop himself from vomiting at the sights and smell in front of him. He couldn’t speak in full sentences, couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t do much else but panic.

Jack walked over to him and though he knew that, physically, there was no blood on his hands Timothy could have sworn that he could smell it on his brother the coppery scent in the air sickening to him. Jack put his hands on his shoulders and looked at him with a concerned expression fixed on his face,“What’s wrong?” Jack asked, looking at Timothy strangely, like he couldn’t comprehend the horror in his twins eyes.

Timothy opened his mouth and closed it again,“You killed her.” He blurted out, after a few moments of stunned silence, his tone blank and empty. He thought that he might be going into shock. “Y-you…you fucking…she’s dead.” He repeated the sentiment.

The realization didn’t click for him immediately, that she was dead. He looked over at her corpse and felt next to nothing about it, all the same. In his mind, she was a monster. She was the monster, the devil that had been peeking over their shoulder all their lives, filling them with terror and beating them half to death over small mistakes.

Jack thought that she got she was deserved, but he didn’t dare say that Timothy, who was all nervous tension and shaky hesitance already. He didn’t want to shake him up anymore and he tried to sooth Tim. “Hey, hey, hey…” He murmured, soothing his thumbs over Timothy’s cheeks in a gentle – nearly paternalistic fashion. “It’s okay… It’s okay, she won’t be able to hurt us anymore.” He hoped that that would have been enough. It wasn’t.

Timothy looked at Jack like he had spouted a second head. “Okay? No. No! This isn’t okay. None of this is okay!” He said, aghast. Then, overwhelmed by everything that had happened he broke out into terrified and ugly sobs. “Jack! You killed her! You… you- why would you…?” He babbled incoherently and wrung his hands until they were sore and raw, to get all the anxiety that he was feeling out. It wasn’t every effective.

Jack didn’t understand why Timothy cared so much. She was evil. She was cruel. She hated them and she would have killed them if she had the chance, through beatings or neglect. “Tim, you don’t… she was going to hurt you.” He said, nonplussed. He walked over to her corpse and picked up the buzz-saw that she usually used to beat him with. He had to pry it from her cold, practically necrotic hands. “With this.” He exclaimed, as if Timothy had no idea and it was damning evidence of her guilt.

Timothy still didn’t look convinced that there was nothing else that Jack could have done to help him, but he didn’t say as much. He didn’t want to argue and not just because of his fear. “Okay…” He said, speaking in a suspicious tone of voice. “What are we going to do now?”

“I’unno. We have to get rid of her I guess.” Jack said, with a shrug and laid back casualty in his tone of voice. This time, Timothy didn’t argue because he had little choice but to help Jack, if he didn’t want to go to jail too.

They dug a hole 12 feet deep, so deep in the ground that no one would ever find her for years, they had had to dig it all night and all morning nearly non-stop to get it deep enough. It was a good thing that they had lived in a rural area,

otherwise someone would have noticed – started asking some questions about where their grandmother had gone off to. They grew a garden over her corpse, planted carrots and tomatoes over her grave like she was glorified fertilizer.

Jack never came to regret what he had done. As far as he was concerned, he had killed her because she was a monster and she could have killed Tim and she probably would have if she had had the chance to enact her punishment like she had wanted.

She was evil and he had done the right thing, bashing her head in. He had saved their lives. He was a hero. He told himself that every night. He was a hero. He was a hero. He. Was. A. Hero.

But Timothy… he didn’t agree, Jack just knew it, even though he wouldn’t say it. He never looked at Jack the same way after that day. He would try to make himself act the same, but it would never be completely right.

His smiles would be forced and his eyes would be nervous whenever Jack looked upon him. The two of them grew more and more distant over the years and once they were finally old enough to move out of the house they grew up in, Timothy never talked to him again.

He refused to. No matter how many times Jack tried to reach out and reconnect – they were twins after all, it was only natural for him to want to be close with his twin! – Timothy would refuse to so much as even look at him. Because Timothy couldn’t look at Jack anymore without wondering in terror what else Jack might be capable of. Just the thought of it made him feel sick with worry.

While Timothy discovered a monstrousness in his brother, Jack learned something else about himself. He had discovered that there was power in his hands. Power to hurt. Power to help. He could brutalize men and women without a single thought for what that meant about him, about his character or his morals. To him it didn’t matter, whether he would be viewed as a “good person” or a “bad person” because he knew the truth.

In Jack’s mind, he had a gift. A gift that he thought could be used for the greater good. He could make the world a better place, one death at a time. So he made a vow, to himself, that he would each and every monster that walked around, parading themselves in human disguises and wipe them off the face of the earth. And he would keep on killing them, as long as he lived, until his dying breath.

*************************

After Rhys fell asleep in the caravan, he didn’t wake up for nearly three days. Everything that had happened to him over the years had compounded together. All of his experiences, all of his trauma, everything that he had done and been forced to do all mixed together and overwhelmed him to the point that he had become nearly comatose. He didn’t even dream the whole time – it was just blackness for hours upon hours without any interruption. When he finally woke up, it took him a bit to stretch out his limbs and get rid of the stiffness and the aching that he felt deep in his bones.

Rhys walked out of the little room that he had been sleeping in and noticed Jack was sitting in the little kitchenette, with a bit of breakfast laid out – Eggs, toast, coffee, pancakes and little strips of bacon were all spread out on the table. The caravan was still moving, though slowly, and Rhys realized that it must have been self driving. Fancy, he thought. Then he realized just how hungry he was when his stomach started to growl. Loudly.

Jack chuckled a bit at the sight of his soul mate, “Mornin’ pumpkin” He hummed in greeting, with a pleasant smile fixed across his face. “You want some breakfast?” He asked, even though the answer was obvious. Rhys walked over to sit at the table and started serving himself a small portion of all the food. He rarely ate much, he never really had the chance or the freedom to and often he would go days without meals if he didn’t impress Vasquez or any of the other men that he answered to sufficiently.

The two of them ate somewhat quickly and in silence until Jack finally decided to speak up, “How you holding up?” He asked, “…With everything?” He hastily tacked on at the end, remembering that Rhys’ whole life had been some sort of nightmare – even if he didn’t know the full scope and scale of the abuse that his soul mate had suffered in his life, but he knew that he had gone through more pain than anyone as sweet and smart as him ever should.

Rhys pulled his knees to his chest and rest his chin on them, making himself look tiny. “I’m not really sure?” He replied, in a hesitant tone of voice. “It’s all hazy and muddled I guess. It feels good to be free, but how I got my freedom… I don’t know how to feel about it.”

Jack moved closer to Rhys and dared to run his fingers through the younger mans’ hair in what he hoped was a gentle and soothing manner. He wasn’t the best with emotions, but he could try to fake it, for Rhys’ sake. “It’s okay, if you’re feeling guilty.” He started, “And if you’re feeling guilty, or even if you’re blaming me for all of this,” He elaborated, tone gentle. “I get that, Rhysie, I really do. But I would never hurt you.” He promised. “And you don’t need to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”

“No. No, that’s not it. I don’t blame you.” Rhys said, tone sharp as the serrated edge of a dagger, like he was making a concerted effort not to let himself be vulnerable right now. “And I don’t feel bad. At all. And that’s the problem! What kind of person am I, if I don’t care about their deaths…” He added, speaking more to himself than to Jack at this point. “I don’t care though, I’m happy that they’re dead.” His expression morphed to one of worry, he was nearly distraught. “What kind of person does that make me? Even after what they did to me?” He asked.

Rhys was pleading with Jack to help him feel less like a monster. “My kind of person.” Jack muttered to himself, low enough that Rhys couldn’t even hear him. Then he pulled Rhys in close and embraced him both tenderly and possessively. He noticed the way that Rhys clung to him and squeezed him even tighter. “You’re not a monster, baby. They are.” Jack murmured in his ear.

“A-are you sure?” Rhys asked in a voice that was tiny and frightened, completely unsure if that was the truth. “I can’t- I know that they were, that they hurt me, but they were still people. It was wrong.” He stammered out indelicately. His own morals were twisted enough already as it stood and he felt like taking pleasure in that sort of thing made him an even worse person by default.

“Those people hurt you.” Jack told him, not willing to deal with the idea of Rhys blaming himself for the abuse that he faced. “They treated you like dirt, they exploited you and hurt you.” Jack put Rhys’ face in his hands and made Rhys look him in the eye. “You didn’t deserve any of that, you never deserved what they did to you. You know that, don’t you baby?” He asked, genuinely curious if he did.

“I…” Rhys hesitated. He wanted to say that, yes, of course he didn’t deserve to be prostituted and trafficked out since he was too young to understand his own body. But a part of him, a tiny and insidious part of him, that he hated to think about, blamed himself for everything that he had gone through. That part of him that told him that, maybe if he was better behaved, his mother never would have sold him in the first place. He felt like it was his fault. “Yes?” He said, with an insecure lilt around the edges of his tone of voice, finally after moments of thinking it over himself.

It was obvious that Rhys wasn’t completely convinced of his own innocence. Jack responded by kissing him, very gently, on the lips. “Listen, Rhysie, those people – look at me – those fucking monsters who hurt you, they deserved every fucking thing that they got. Matter of fact, they deserved way more than what they got.” He said, voice clear and authoritative. If he had had the time, he would have tortured all of them for hours upon hours for what they had done. That was just a fact.

The younger man felt strangely comforted by Jack’s words and he wasn’t sure if that was because Jack was right, or because Rhys wanted him to be right. “I really want that to be true.” He admitted, in a voice that was incredibly soft spoken, so quiet that Jack wouldn’t have been able to hear him if they weren’t pressed so closely together.

“It is true.” Jack told him, deadly serious, before he decided to change the subject to something a little bit lighter. “Oh! By the way, I got you some new clothes while you were sleeping back there.” He gestured towards a dresser that was fixed to the back wall. “They’re in there. Hope they’re your style.”He added, mostly as a tease. Rhys giggled at that, before a thought crossed his mind and made his stomach turn, just a little bit. He didn’t really know what his style was. He didn’t know what he liked. He didn’t really know what he disliked. Pretty much all of his life, things had been dictated for him, he never had that kind of choice. It was upsetting, having his agency taken from him for pretty much his entire life, but he shook off the thought with the reminder that that was all over now.

He was safe now, he would be happy with his soul mate. He needed to be happy and he clung to the thought that Jack could save him – could fix him and love him, despite how unclean and rotten he always felt – like it was his only hope for survival. In many ways, it was.

Rhys grabbed one of the outfits that Jack had bought for him and headed to the little off shooting bathroom and showered. When he finally returned back to the main area of the caravan, dressed in his new – expensive, nicely fitting clothes, Jack was sitting down with a photo album in hand, looking over it like it was gospel. “What’s that you’re looking at?” Rhys asked, innocent curiosity heavy in his tone. Jack looked up at him and Rhys smiled gently, he motioned for Rhys to sit back down next to him.

Jack put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him in close, Rhys instinctively cuddled back against him. In the short time that he had known Jack, his soul mate had been overly willing with physical affection and Rhys just loved it. He loved being hugged, he loved having his hair played with, he loved being kissed gently and touched in all the comforting ways that he had always been denied for most of his life. “Ah, just some old photos.” Jack replied, after a moment. “I was thinking about my brother.”

Rhys’ eyes lit up with curiosity, “You have a brother?” Rhys asked and then Jack pointed out a photo of him and someone who looked exactly like him, with their arms around each other and big smiles on their faces. “You have a twin brother?” He corrected himself at the sight of them.

“Yeah, but we’re not really close these days.” Jack replied shortly, “We had a falling out, a while ago, and we don’t talk anymore.” He smiled, but it was tight and it looked to Rhys like there was pain behind his eyes. It was obvious that he didn’t want to talk about it and that was fine. Instead of asking any questions about it, or even speaking at all, Rhys delicately lay his hand over Jacks’ own and squeezed it in a comforting gesture. Jack grinned at him and ducked over to kiss his cheek. “It’s best not to think about it too much.” Jack said, before closing the photo album and putting it away.

And then Jack changed the subject back to Rhys, he wanted to know more about him – he wanted to know every little thing about him, the good things, the bad things. Everything. Rhys was hesitant to be forthcoming, partially because a lot of things about him were either too painful to talk about, or things that he wasn’t really sure of because of the years of captivity that he had suffered.

They came to a compromise – Rhys would talk about himself, or the things he was comfortable sharing about himself, so long as Jack shared some things about himself too. It worked out for the best. Jack found out that Rhys loved ice cream as well as all sorts of sweet things and that he gobbled it up every time that he was allowed it.

He found out that Rhys loved music and that he genuinely enjoyed singing and when he was a child he would sing to the younger kids to comfort them. He found out that Rhys had always wanted tattoos, but that he had never had the freedom to choose how he looked. He found out that Rhys had always been into computers and the newest tech, that he had wanted to get into programming whenever he had the chance.

Jack tried to be as forthcoming as possible, he told Rhys about how he had put himself through school and worked in engineering. He told Rhys about some of his upbringing – that he had grown up in a small town and he was a bit of a hoodlum for most of his teen years. He told him about being picked up by Hyperion right out of college and how lucky he had been to get that leg up in the corporate ladder.

When the subject of Hyperion came up, Rhys was immediately curious about it. Even he had heard about Hyperion, it was one of the leading corporations in the world. They were pioneers in tech, weaponry, prosthesis – basically, anything you could think of. “You’re Hyperion’s CEO?” He asked, marveling a bit at the revelation. “But you’re still so young! That’s incredible.” He gushed adoringly.

Jack’s expression got a bit smug, Rhys probably shouldn’t have been feeding his ego like that, it was dangerous. He thought it was cute anyways. “Yeah, the board loves me.” He explained, “They even booted the jerk ass who ran it back when I was just an engineer on the main floor. It was a risk, I guess, but they took a chance on me.” He added. And it had worked out perfectly for them too, Jack had boosted Hyperion’s profits and growth a hundred fold.

Rhys just couldn’t help but go into fan boy mode. “I heard about all Hyperion growing up. Not everything, you know, they kept us in the dark about pretty much everything that went on outside but…” He started babbling, speaking animatedly with his hands. “

“No, you were being cute.” Jack assured him quickly, before an idea popped up in his head. “I could show you around the headquarters, if you like, when we get to sanctuary.” He looked over to where the caravan’s console was, “Should only be a few more hours, then it’s home sweet home, cupcake!” He added, making a grand gesture with his arms that was reminiscent of a game show host telling him that he had just won a brand new car.

Rhys laughed a bit at that, “So Sanctuary’s your home?” He clarified. “Our home?” He corrected after a moment or two. He and Jack were soul mates, he reminded himself – it still felt so strange to him the mere idea that he would even have a soul mate at all, never mind someone as successful, talented and brilliant as Jack was. To him at least.

Rhys didn’t think that he deserved that sort of fortune or good luck. He didn’t think that he deserved much of anything at all. He thought that Jack was too good for him – that everybody was too good for him, that no one should ever have to be saddled with a broken mess like him. A part of him understood that that was probably a mixture of his own self loathing and the hero worship that he had for Jack – though, in a way, he was Rhys’ hero. Because Jack had, literally, saved him, rescued him from the hellish prison that he had been forced to live in for nearly all of his life.

Jack made a wishy-washy motion with his hand. “Eh, Yeah, pretty much.” He replied, after a few moments. It was only a half truth. Jack had a had a home in every city that had a Hyperion branch in it and at least a dozen or so more safe houses for his other, more discretionary, purposes that Rhys wouldn’t need to worry about. At least not right now.

But Sanctuary was probably his favorite place to be. He spent a lot of time in Sanctuary, at least when he wasn’t on the road, because Sanctuary happened to be where Hyperion’s base of operations was. He was sure that Rhys might have known that already, given his interest in his company.

“How is it there?” Rhys asked as a strange feeling that was like a mix of anxiety and giddiness began to pool in the pit of his stomach. “Is it nice?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s great. You’ll love it there, pumpkin. I practically own the whole fucking town! It’s great.” Jack promised him, tone earnest and honest. “I’ve got this penthouse in the middle of the city with a great view. It’s beautiful…When we get in town, I can show you around the place. Maybe I’ll take you to some shops and I can finally start spoiling you rotten.”

Rhys smiled, “I’d like that.” He said in kind. He hoped that he was right about that. He’d love it if Sanctuary became his new… Sanctuary.

#my fics #rhack #rhack fics #serial killer/soulmate au #rhys the company man #handsome jack #ongoing

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howlitecritical · 5 years

Text

New character arcs and new back story because canon sucks again

Main 4 cast with notes on characters that need notes for changes to make sense Garnet: yesyesyesyesyeysyes everything good about this show. There’s not enough garnet centric things where she’s just herself and not about ruby and sapphire. More information on Garnet. Shes stoicly funny and just murders people with words sometimes. show her being rose’s top tactician. turning the tides of the war that were never in the crystal gem’s favor. maybe theres a fun earth thing shes into. Her room is the heart of the temple for a reason now. Its a balance between pearl and amethyst. The bubbles are organized, but she has her own side space with things she does as hobbies. She has a collection of antique books that she likes to read lava side and she often meditates to see corrupted gems and a future in which the CGs encounter them. maybe she even draws them out to combine ruby’s need to Do with sapphire's need to Know. Fusion is still very important to her, but not she has plot relevant interests that make sense with her character. Her character arc involves her being the first of her kind. shes something completely new! just like steven is. and for that not to bind them together is silly. She wants the best for steven and he makes her want to be an even better leader now that rose is gone and shes the only one left. she makes him think about his actions and slows down his hyper activity when he or amethyst are trying to do something reckless. From him she learns that it’s okay to let her guard down more. Homeworld might come back, but it’s not all on her shoulders. the CGs are a family and they’ll protect everyone together. Garnet in jailbreak is the first time we know shes a fusion and before that we get more about her character not just from environment around her, but her reactions to things. Maybe she feels like she needs to be in control because shes afraid that without rose, homeworld is more a danger than ever.

Amethyst: I like most of her progression actually!!! a few things I’d mess with is when she’s unnecessary hurtful to people she loves, like greg, when she shape shifted into rose, and peridot when she all but threw her stuff into the ocean. these things need to be gotten rid of, or addressed by the narrative. I’d also like to see her hanging around Vidalia wayyyyy sooner or to have a reason why they dont. As for reasons, maybe Amethyst did or said something hurtful toward her, lashing out at her for whatever reason that made their friendship strained. while a decade is a long time for a human, for a gem its nothing. so while she feels bad, Am’ isnt going to apologize herself!!! she didnt do anything wrong!!! and maybe Vidalia is the first person steven convinces her to apologize to. Steven teaches her compassion and is, in return, the gem he can relate to the best. He goes to her first with gem issues and she acts like an older sibling, trying to teach him or cover up mistakes so pearl and garnet dont find out. I think i’d like a progression of Am’ refusing to apologize to Vidalia, realizing that she was wrong and apologizing to greg, but he breaks down and can’t move past that, rendering their friendship difficult and strained as a “sometimes apologizing isnt enough and you have to change your behavior“ and then the third beat with peridot either not happening at all, where she doesnt throw someone’s comfort items into the ocean which, i think steven shouldve realized and stopped her from doing anyway, BUT if you just NEED that mistake on her part, i feel like this could be a “sometimes, you dont know how bad you hurt someone and you should apologize when you find out“ with peridot being hurt and not talking to her and amethyst has to do a big gesture to show shes sorry. I also feel like that fleshes out amedot as a ship and while i dont care about who peridot ends up with, i care about story and the way im going to make this story go, lapis will be in that fun moral grey area and i want more options in terms of story telling and of fan choice. Also!!! explore the possibility of her being deep cut and thats why shes a runt. she only looks smaller but has all these strengths because of it!!! it fits in really well and bismuth or peridot maybe because she was made for kindergardening, could tell her about it and watch her get excited because shes not ”wrong“ she never came out “wrong“ shes just different and thats okay!

Pearl: Was white diamond’s pearl, first of all! that makes every interaction more interesting, because no only did she defect from homeworld, but she defected from the Queen of homeworld and everything it stood for basically. We learn more about how homeworld operates and what places in society each gem fits from pearl, because while she doesn’t believe it herself, she isn’t kept from talking about diamonds now and what one she served. in this funky fresh au, she is sent by white to make sure the new diamond they’re cultivating from earth comes out properly (aka where the fuck did russia go) and getting her equipped with all of the technology she would need to properly rule. this is where she first meets a quartz soldier. at first she’s taken aback by the quartz’s forwardness, no one had ever talked to her like... an equal before. shes not sure if shes allowed to speak, though, she knows theyre waiting for a response. Their first interactions always begin with her requesting permission to speak. They have to wait a few more years for pink to emerge and while they’re there they slowly become friends as the life is leeched out of the area. we could have a snapshots of them waiting for together, rose getting bored and convincing pearl to come do things with her, slowly breaking her out of her shell. Pearl’s difficulty and character arc comes from not just rose and getting over her feelings, which is perfectly fine, but doesnt need to be her only trait, but finding out who she is now, not just after rose, but with humanity as a whole. with the war well and truly over. she wants to learn about what rose thought was so important to fight for, to die for, and because of that, we get her partaking in human activities that arent eating or drinking, because she still dislikes them. While Garnet reads and collects books, i think pearl being really into her weapons collection is a good idea to flesh her out more. Where did she get her swords from? Well thats a mystery. She mentions someone she cared about a long time ago made them for her and thus we get some fun bismuth foreshadowing.

Rose: And rose..... god... we could of had it all by adele plays in the background anytime i think about her. Here we have a very beautiful fat woman. Shes framed as elegant and regal by the show time and time again and i LOVED that. however after the pink diamond reveal, I have such mixed feelings about her. No more diamond bullshit. Shes the first gem that popped out. Technically she’s too early and she goes to stand guard around the birthplace of her diamond. That is where she and pearl first meet. Pearl is the first gem she ever talks to and while she innately knows stuff about home world, shes pick up a lot from the humans that live nearby. theyve shown her kindness and given her furs to wear and in turn she helped them heal their wounded by crying on them. (yes she still has healing powers sue me) she loves the humans and takes to befriending them before pearl shows up. The two of them get close and after pink diamond pops out, rose realizes what the creation of gems truly means for the world around her. They’re killing what was here before them. This isn’t creation. It’s an invasion. Being the only quartz out so far, shes forced into the role of commander for pink. Her favored soldier. And the more she does what she was “made for” the more she hates it and the more she hates the diamond authority. she convinces pink that some humans are worth keeping. As a curiosity, my diamond. they could prove useful to terraforming other planets or moons to accept life and in time, gem cultivation. She gets poofed while trying to save someone from the group of people she first made friends with. Maybe pink shatters whoever poofed her for not following her orders because of course Rose wouldnt defy her. rose is Loyal, unlike the rest of you lack luster garbage. Rose comes back with her iconic dress and shes here and queer and shes fucking Done with this shit. she hears about the shattering on her behalf and she goes to pink and asks why and she feels sick to her stomach because star, my diamond, she isnt Worth it. she isnt worth the cost of someone else’s whole Life!!! Oh rose... you’ve always been soft hearted. in this time, Pearl is quietly there. waiting to be called back by white as pink pearl has just been sent to take her place. And this is it. This is the moment rose decides to rebel. according to homeworld, her life should be no more than any other quartz. her life shouldnt be traded for that of others. So why? Why did pink do this? Do the gems in her court mean nothing to her? This is the first time a gem has ever summoned two weapons. A Sword and Shield. A knight turning on her master. She tried to attack pink. to poof her. to send a message right here and now that gems are all equal. that a lowly rose quartz is strong enough to take on a diamond! She fails, but only partly. she manages to strike a blow, but pink stays in tact long enough to strike on of her own, sending rose retreating into her gem. This is when pearl has to make a choice. No matter what she’d be shattered. Pink’s wrath when she reforms, white’s when she finds out about what happened. This is a death sentence. But if its a death sentence, its one she’ll choose for herself. she takes rose’s shield and uses the face of it to shatter pink herself, scooping up rose’s gem and getting as far away as fast as she can. This is the start of a war.

Steven: Oh boi. So i love steven, but theres moments where hes just... not good and the story doesnt stop him from doing that. So if were gonna say hes a kid with emotion based powers, we know hes soft and sweet and excitable. sometimes he pushes people too far because hes trying to do what he thinks is best. I want him to wrestle with the fact that his mom, this person everyone says is good, killed someone. she did something so horrible and she never killed anyone again, but she still did it once. I’d like him to get bits and pieces of his mothers memories and so we get to see the world and flashback things that happened in real time. Maybe he tries to talk to pearl about it, but she still wont instead of cant. He feels like an outcast and everyone would rather his mom be there, but they have him instead. basically a lot of his earlier character arc stuff before garnet and pearl talk to him about how homeworld was. They dont think hes old enough to hear about war, but it seems war is coming back and hes unprepared to face it without learning more. he facilitates more interactions with the townies and now its not just a war of gems against gems, they have humans on their side too and they’ll win!

#su criticism #su rewrite #su #su critique #su critical #steven universe #i hate the pink diamond reveal so im just Salty #cw long post

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addictedtostorytelling · 5 years

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Do you have any favorite lines from ER? I saw your favorite episodes gifset

hey, @amidalas-shadow!

fun question! i am a sucker for er dialogue, so i have many, many favorite lines.

i put a bunch of ‘em under the “read more.”

_____

inspirational lines

“you set the tone.”—david morgenstern, mark greene, and john carter (at various points throughout the series)

jc: “i thought i was gonna be sick. i’m sorry.”mg: “don’t ever say you’re sorry. see, there’s two kinds of doctors: there’s the kind that gets rid of their feelings, and the kind that keeps them. if you’re gonna keep your feelings, you’re gonna get sick from time to time. that’s just how it works… people come in here, and they’re sick and dying and bleeding, and they need our help. helping them is more important than how we feel.”jc: (nods)mg: “—but it’s still a pain the ass sometimes.”—john carter and mark greene, episode 01x01 “24 hours”

ch: “i just wanna be happy—and i’m so afraid i never will be.”dr: “you will. you will.”—carol hathaway and doug ross, episode 01x25 “everything old is new again”

jc: “it’s not that i dislike surgery. it’s been incredibly challenging. the training has been excellent. you are a wonderful surgeon and a fine teacher.”da: “get to the point, doctor.”jc: “i admire surgeons and surgery, but it’s not the type of medicine i want to practice. i can be a competent surgeon; i can learn the techniques, the mechanics. but i’ll never be a great surgeon. dr. anspaugh, i can be a great doctor—a doctor who spends time with his patients, who’s there for them. i’m good at it. really good. i can make a difference in people’s lives. don’t make me give that up. please don’t make me waste it.”—john carter and donald anspaugh, episode 03x22 “one more for the road”

lk: “i thought we were saving her.”jc: “no. we were giving her her only chance.”lk: “that’s not good enough.”jc: “it has to be.”lk: “no, it doesn’t.”jc: “some patients get to you more than others, i know. but when you do everything that you can—sometimes even more than you thought you could—you gotta walk away knowing you fought the good fight. you fought the good fight, lucy. tomorrow you’ll fight another one.”—lucy knight and john carter, episode 05x08 “the good fight”

ch: “i have to go find out.”lk: “find out what?”ch: “if [doug’s] still in love with me—because i’m still in love with him. i am. i’ve been in love with him since i was twenty-three years old. he’s everything to me. he’s my life. i feel complete when i’m with him, and i feel empty when we’re apart. he’s the father of my children, and he’s my soulmate.”—carol hathaway and luka kovac, episode 06x21 “such sweet sorrow”

“forget superman; i’ll take mark greene.”—abby lockhart, episode 08x20 “the letter”

“be generous—with your time, with your love, with your life… be generous, always.”—mark greene, episode 08x21 “on the beach”

gp: “what’s up, frank?”fm: “you know, i always believed that nothing ever really changed. i’m old enough that i know that there’s always gonna be trouble—war, taxes; bad guys now are pretty much the same as bad guys have always been. but that’s not how i feel today. i feel like the world’s getting worse and worse and worse, and what we’re watching is the slow, steady descent of the human race.”gp: “no. no, i don’t buy that. i think that, um, today was just a rough day for the home team.”—greg pratt and frank martin, episode 13x01 “bloodline”

“you know, nine years ago, i had—my marriage was over, my mother was in a mental institution for the seventh or tenth time—i don’t know—and i drank a lot. a lot. and i had reached this—you know what? i—one morning, i woke up in this apartment, and i had no idea how i got there, next to some guy i didn’t even remember meeting, and he was going through my stuff, looking for money so he and his buddy could get a fix. so i ran out of there, and i went downstairs, and i tried to get a cab, but i had no idea where i was, and it was five o’clock in the morning, and there were no cars on the street, so i just—i just sat down on a stoop, and i just—i waited for something to happen. and at that moment, i’m telling you, i knew—i mean, i was positive!—that happiness was something i was never going to find. i’m just trying to tell you that things can change. they can get better. even if you don’t see it, they can.”—abby lockhart, episode 13x14 “murmurs of the heart”

sad lines

“a man came in today. he sat there and watched his wife die, and he helped her to die, because she was in so much pain, and he loved her. but we didn’t have that kind of marriage, did we, al? we didn’t love, we didn’t cherish, we didn’t respect, and now you’ve killed me!”—jeanie boulet, episode 03x05 “ghosts”

“doug? i don’t want to wake up alone tomorrow.”—carol hathaway, episode 05x15 “the storm,” pt. ii

“he’s still my baby, peter. i’m supposed to take care of him. i feel like somewhere, sometime, he’s going to be sad or cold or scared. who’s taking care of him? who’s being his mother?”—jackie robbins, episode 08x01 “four corners”

ec: “your brother believed me when i told him he’d get better—it didn’t matter where he was, how he felt, what the doctor said. i told him he’d get better. he died believing me.”jc: “no, he was pretending for you—that was another one of our secrets. i was supposed to not let you be sad. i was supposed to make you forget. to make you happy. he made me promise to make you happy. i’m sorry, mom.”—eleanor carter and john carter, episode 08x14 “a simple twist of fate”

“kem? they’re gonna come down and take us to our new room soon, and when they come, they’re gonna take the baby, and we’re never gonna see him again. i don’t know what the right thing is to say. i don’t know what the right thing to do is. it was an accident! it was nothing that you did wrong. it was nothing that we did wrong. it just happened. i love you, and i wanna spend the rest of my life with you, but we have to say goodbye to our son now. i have to help you to do that, and i don’t know how to do that. please help me. please.”—john carter, episode 10x21 “midnight”

funny lines

mp: “are you married?”sl: “no, i’m a doctor.”—male patient and susan lewis, episode 01x01 “24 hours”

“what can i say about mark greene that hasn’t already been said? i think everybody knows how he overcame adversity as a child of quakers, his years in exile, his political writings and limericks, his mod period with the turtlenecks, his blue period, and of course his ruthless march to power and the silencing of his rivals.”—doug ross, episode 02x03 “do one, teach one, kill one”

“you are wedges. the wedge is the most primitive tool known to man. that is you. you think you know what you’re doing. believe me: you don’t. breakfast with your senior surgical resident, dr. benton, will begin in fifteen minutes. dr. benton is an intern’s worst nightmare. he’s smarter than you, he never eats, he never sleeps, and he reads every medical journal, no matter how obscure. he is the antichrist, beelzebub, lucifer—a devourer of wedges! you will go to sleep at night wishing plague and pestilence on his unborn children, and you will wake up every morning praying for his approval. you won’t get it. welcome to hell, ladies and gentlemen.”—dr. melvoin, episode 03x01 “dr. carter, i presume”

sidebar: if any of my followers from the csi fandom are reading this, dr. melvoin is played by wallace langham, aka david hodges, so imagine the above spectacular rant being delivered in his voice. also, bonus points ‘cause he’s talking about “wedges.”

sl: “first of all, i order a manhattan, straight up, two cherries. he orders a ‘fruity yet selfless’ glass of carbernet.” mg: “what does that even mean?” sl: “i have no idea! then he talks for forty-five minutes about his ex-girlfriend, whose name also happens to be susan: how much he loved her, how much he wanted to marry her, how he wanted to father her five or six children—and, by the way, do i want children? do i want five or six children?” mg: “okay, tad could be worse.” sl: “i’m not even there yet, mark. i look over, and he has this drop of red wine hanging from his nose.” mg: “what?” sl: “you heard me! this puny, little blob, just hanging there. so of course, i cannot take my eyes off of it! is it gonna fall? is it gonna hang there all night? is his skin going to absorb it?” mg: “how did it get there?” sl: “mark!”mg: “no, really! how did you get your nose that far down into a wineglass? what, was he smelling it, or—?” sl: “mark, please!”mg: “okay, what happened?”sl: “i went to the bathroom and snuck out the window.”mg: “you’re kidding.”sl: “nope.”mg: “wow.”—susan lewis and mark greene, episode 03x02 “let the games begin”

kw: “did you even take the hippocratic oath?!”rr: “i had my fingers crossed.”—kerry weaver and robert romano, episode 07x03 “mars attacks”

sw: “don’t touch me!”nr: “try not to move. i’m a doctor. you may have broken your ankle.” sw: “if you’re a doctor, i want a second opinion.”nr: (to abby) “okay, dr. lockhart, would you care to give a second opinion?”al: (to snotty woman) “sure. your ankle may be broken—and you’re a bitch.”—snotty woman on l platform, neela rasgotra, and abby lockhart, episode 12x02 “nobody’s baby”

_____

there are probably tons of others, too.

if you ever want any of these moments—or any others from the show—giffed, lemme know, okay?

thanks for the question!

#answered #amidalas-shadow #asks: er #er #nbc er #let's talk shop

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