#but i was suddenly hit once more with a vast amount of love and appreciation

[followmetoyourdoom]

Cute story time

So Christmas is my favourite holiday, I get to see my extended family when we do present drop offs, and my mum cooks an amazing pick your own spread with enough desserts to feed a family of 16. We are often only 3 or 4 at Christmas dinner. We usually have either an animated film or an old film on in the background and have no social pressures to maintain. We have dumb crackers with dumb jokes and we all like to wear the little hats and play with the toys. My mum insists on getting me more than I've asked for, even as an adult, so gifts are always fun, especially when I can one up her and make her giggle like a schoolgirl with the present/s my dad and I pick out for her. We got her a Steiff Pomeranian one year, and my mum called it Channel, and insisted on having it on the sofa next to her throughout the holiday season and kept cooing and petting it, it was delightful. My dad and I tend to play video games in the evening, like we did when I was a kid. There's a dog running around wanting lil scraps of meat, playing with new toys that she's been lavished with. It's all very wholesome and cute and silly.

Now, my nesting partner on the other hand, grew up in a rather uptight middle class society, missing 3 family Christmases entirely as he was singing in the Queen's Westminster youth choir. The one they show live on TV on Christmas day. When he was at home for Christmas, there was a lot of social pressure to be Well Behaved and to be Polite. There was also a lot of judgement as he got older, a lot of backhanded compliments and a lot of dreams crushed. A lot of yelling and a lot of slammed doors. Needless to say, he kind of hates Christmas.

This year however, the first year we've had a Christmas together, he insisted we decorate the entire house and get a wreath for the door and Santa hats for us to wear here and there in the build up to Christmas. Every evening, he would turn the fairy lights on so I got home to a warm and Christmas-y house. He wrote a Christmas card from our dog for me. He pushed himself to get into the Christmas spirit for me, without me pressuring him to, just bc he wanted to make this special for me, bc he knows how much this holiday means to me. We had Christmas dinner at my parents, and he introduced my parents to a tradition of his - whiskey tasting - which they hated and we all laughed at the face my dad pulled. We dropped off presents at my cousin's place, they had all been practising how to say his name and insisted on being corrected so they would get it right, my partner chatted to my nephew about Pokémon the entire time. My aunt said we looked perfect together. My mum got us board games to play together, and slipper socks for my partner who had been wanting some for months - he mentioned it offhandedly in July - but couldn't settle on a design. She got him plain black with a white geometric pattern, subtle enough that it could be Christmas-y, or it could just be a pattern. He loves them. We watched the Italian job, and my partner fell asleep on the sofa while my dad and I played a game from 2002 on his old PS2, and my mum nudged me and, with a smile on her face, quietly pointed to my partner fast asleep and snoring with his mouth open and said 'bless him'.

And yeah, bless him indeed. I know not everyone has fond memories of Christmas, I know it brings some people a lot of pain and a lot of sadness, I've seen it first hand. But there is something beautiful about being able to pull yourself out of that, of your own accord, for someone, and I'm honoured I get to be that someone for my partner, and I appreciate him so much for doing that for me. I'm so lucky.

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ PIECE OF ART. ✧ KENJI S.

✰ — you and kenji being at the museum for plot reasons, kenji being sweet, pure fluff, might be ooc kenji, not much proof-read.

tagging : @xxladyballadxx @jinwoosungs @madeimoisellesoleil 💕

— ✩ m. list.

. dividers by @/strangergraphics 📜 !!

A LIGHT grin is present upon your features, further observing the scattered paper arts close by— passing it in an unhurried pace. Dressed ever so casually, to say the least, yet perfectly fitting to the current location you were in. A sight to behold that still manages to go unnoticed within the sea of people.

It is just the beginning of the eventide, and the museum still continues to open and welcome new visitors as always. Your sole figure remains there, blending in with the several other people with dexterity.

The romantic time of the day, some may say. The mere location itself has given it away fully.

Due to the amount of passing minutes that you've been inside, you started to feel quite chilly all over— causing yourself to mentally curse for not bringing a coat along with you, blaming yourself for your small mistake.

It doesn't take long for you to endure with a slight shiver, when a certain someone suddenly covers your form up with a rather sizeable coat; warming you up almost instantly without fail.

Admittedly, you got startled from the gesture and the sudden appearance, before deciding to turn around to face the said person.

And of course, it didn't take long for you to be able to fully register upon the familiar sight altogether— eyes instantly widening with a beaming smile.

"Ken, you actually came!" Without wasting any second of hesitation, you pulled him into an embrace— burying your face onto his chest with pure joy.

"Mmhm," Kenji hums, adding more to his words further with an equally happy expression, along with a mellow tone. "Of course I do."

He gradually encircles his arms around you, returning the embrace with equal fervor. Lowering his head ever so slightly, he silently allows you to burrow your face further against his chest for the time being— relishing within one another's mere presence.

Everything about him screams security, allowing yourself to drown into him without any worries; starting to feel more addicted as if he's some sort of a drug that made you hold onto life itself.

He's a famous person that is loved by many, and you're almost.. Nothing, like him. It's what keeps you questioning sometimes, and the way you're able to establish a rather special connection with him.

The difference between you two is like day and night itself; one that is vast and perceptible. Yet if only you knew— that Kenji never once is bothered by any of those existing statuses, not even the slightest. He appreciates you for being who you truly are.

"I figured that you'd be quite busy. I mean, I understand if you're unable to stop by earlier, y'know."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Just like that— he's able to dispel the existing anxiousness within you effortlessly so, still keeping his hold around you with just the right amount of force; not too assertive, and it just felt right.

"I'll always make time for you, my love."

His simple response made you beam in delight; noting the truth of his words alone.

No one is around the area that you both are in, does it-? It's as if nothing much mattered at this present moment, shielding yourselves with the makeshift reality that you both have unconsciously created— lost within your own little world without a care.

The stillness around the both of you, except for the occasional breathing sounds, makes the moment special somehow. You could clearly feel the heat radiating off from him and his coat alone; his warm breath brushes past your ear.

"Feeling any better now?"

"Yeah," you nodded with a grateful smile of your own. "Thank you, Ken."

Has he ever told you on how much he loves it whenever you call him Ken? It just hits different whenever you call him like that. He would lose his damn mind if he wants to.

"I appreciate you a whole lot," you added. "You don't usually go to places like this, that is."

"I just can't help myself but to come and see you.." A velvety chuckle slips past through his lips— planting a small kiss upon your forehead before gently pushing you away for a bit, just so that he could gaze at you.

"Honestly, I just— yeah, I missed you, a lot. I know I've been busy lately, but still.."

Kenji is speaking nothing short of pure honesty lacing his words. He misses the feeling of your frame against his own; letting his thumb tracing the contours of your face with such delicacy— every detail of your features none left untouched.

"What if I told you that I feel the same way too?" A cliche answer, but it works every single time.

Your gaze now darted towards the large painting ahead, which ostensively have shown a pair of lovers— holding onto one another as the life of the other gradually withers away.

He simply chuckled over your statement, immediately taking notice of the shift of your gaze; following your line of sight after.

"The painting looks a bit depressing, to say the least," he remarks, paying close attention about what the artist is trying to convey through the art.

"Yeah." You approached closer to the aforementioned painting, and the coat— his coat, still settled snuggly around your figure, trying your best to discern the details as well.

"I wonder what goes through the artists' mind while making this."

Kenji now stood beside you; the height difference very much noticeable. His eyes seemed to be observing it in every angle possible as well, placing his chin atop of your head from behind— no longer standing beside you.

"I'm curious about it too."

"Maybe it was meant to portray, you know— some tragedy?"

"Well, that definitely worked." He agreed along with your words, accompanied with a quick nod.

When he's sure that you're not looking at anywhere else but the painting alone, Kenji took the opportunity to glance down at you, secretly— or not-so-secretly, admiring the way his coat hangs around you almost loosely; yet fittingly so. You looked so beautiful to him like this, and he didn't dare to let his mind wander too far.

At this point, you didn't have to bring him along to the museum to see the arts, when you are the whole art itself.

A precious piece of art that he would love to keep with him for as long as he's breathing— if you would let him.

Every single part of you screams divine perfection to him. The way your eyes would light up whenever you see anything that interests you, or the way you would bite your lip in pure concentration unknowingly.

The way you speak, and the way you walk— God, don't get him started on the way he would always, successfully so, getting any sort of reaction out of you. The list is endless, and it felt like a personal reward, one that he's not-so-willingly share with anyone else.

No one can truly blame him for doing so, honestly. Kenji couldn't help it— he cherishes you so much that it almost hurts so good. Not out of obsession, but damn, that man loves you a little too much.

Nevertheless, nothing is truly too much for him to love you just the way you are.

Yet rightfully so, you never minded even the slightest. Kenji could never get enough of you; his love for you is always, and somehow, endless.

You smiled lovingly underneath his soft gaze, rubbing his own arm that's currently encircling around you so tenderly. You know that stare, but you just didn't want to point it out and simply wanted to relish within that feeling.

The people might see him as the arrogant, boastful person in the public eye— a mere facade that he puts up every so often when it deems necessary. But he acts so differently whenever he's around you, daring himself to let his walls down and be completely vulnerable with you.

With you, he has nothing to hide, shamelessly showing and proving his devotion to you alone; showing you a side that only you get the privilege of seeing it.

Kenji Sato will never cease to treasure you.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[kindahoping4forever]

A Little Bit Scandalous, Baby Don’t Let Them See It // Ashton Irwin

There’s really not much explanation for this one. Last month when the content started dropping from Calum’s birthday weekend at The Invisible House, my clown brain took over and I got an idea that just wouldn’t leave. I then unfortunately developed a migraine that also wouldn’t leave (lol) so I didn’t get to write this for a few weeks but once I sat down to do it, it was done in basically a day. I don’t often do plotless smut but I’ve decided to own this filth for what it is. Thanks to @cal-puddies​​ for convincing me not to add 2500 more words of justification and also for letting me know when I was describing this idea that I “went a little too Daddy” and it needed to be an Ash story even though it was about Cal’s birthday 😂

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash meets Dom!Ash vibes including a fair amount of dirty talk, a few uses of “Daddy,” some general manhandling and loving roughness. Unprotected sex in an established relationship, brief oral sex on a male, hints of voyeurism/exhibitionism

Word Count: 2.8k

Masterlist  // Ko-Fi linked above (New taglist sign-up coming soon)

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

“The bedrooms are all clear!”

“Well, the whole house is all clear, babe, that’s kind of the point.”

“That joke hasn’t gotten any funnier since the first time you tried it, Ash.”

Your boyfriend rushes up behind you and slides his hands into the back pockets of your jeans, squeezing your ass through the material. “You’ve missed my jokes and you know it,” he insists, his loud laugh echoing through the seemingly endless room.

You hate to admit it but he wasn’t entirely wrong. You and Ashton hadn’t seen each other very much lately; your days were spent working from home, too exhausted on most days to make it over to his place for a visit while his schedule was consumed by the band starting work on their new album.

The guys had recently taken to going on mini getaways out to the desert to work; it was clear they missed travelling together as much as they missed playing music and this was a fun and safe way for them to combine the two amidst the ongoing lockdown. When they decided to plan their latest session for the week of Calum’s birthday and make it a “family trip” by inviting their significant others to join, you were thrilled.

Through some of her connections, Crystal was able to book a trendy lodging known as The Invisible House. With a pool running alongside the living area, floor to ceiling glass windows and an entirely mirrored exterior, the property was truly a sight to behold. You drove yourself out to Joshua Tree on Friday after work and spent the weekend lounging, catching up and exploring with everybody.

For you, the one flaw in the house’s design was that it was built as one long continuous rectangle, with only the occasional partition used to divide rooms, so as not to disrupt the lush views. While the desert surroundings were undeniably gorgeous, you would’ve much rather been surrounded by Ashton. You assumed a weekend away would’ve meant some quality time getting reacquainted with each other’s bodies but with your friends always in such close proximity, the opportunity had not presented itself.

Until now, you think to yourself. Everyone was outside chatting and packing up the cars while you and Ash were assigned to do a walkthrough of the house to make sure nobody had left anything behind. Sierra and Luke had popped in about 10 minutes ago to say goodbye and from where you’re standing, you can see Calum, Crystal and Michael still trying to divide up their luggage and the band’s equipment between their cars.

You spin around in Ash’s hold, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a heated kiss on him. You can tell he’s momentarily taken by surprise but he quickly responds to your passion, tangling his tongue with yours, letting his hands wander around your body.

“So then… you have missed my jokes?” He chuckles when you pull away, attaching your mouth to his neck.

You roll your eyes amusedly, moving to bite gently at his earlobe, tongue teasing around his earring. “We’re finally alone,” you say suggestively, hoping he’ll understand your meaning.

He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Uh-huh,” he says pointedly, pressing you tighter against him. “And I suppose that’s giving you ideas, isn’t it, baby?”

You smile coyly, holding his hands on you. “Well… I don’t know about you but I was certainly hoping we’d get some time together this weekend. It’s been a while, we’ve been so busy.”

Ashton grins. “Well… I did offer to take care of you last night.”

You give him A Look. “Sliding your hand down my pajama pants and offering to rub one out for me wasn’t really what I had in mind,” you counter wryly. “All while our friends were just a few feet away.”

A mischievous look crosses his face. “Our friends are just a few feet away now and you’re still coming on to me,” he points out, gesturing towards the vast windows surrounding you.

“It’s different. We’re in here, they’re out there. They can’t see us.”

He smirks at your statement, almost as if he was hoping you'd say that. “Is that so?”

“It’s mirrored glass,” you shrug impatiently, pulling his hand in the direction of the bedrooms.

Ash clearly has other plans, pulling you back into him and kissing you so deeply your head spins. You don’t realize he’s walking you across the room until you feel your back hit the cool glass of the window. You pull away to ask what he’s up to but can’t quite find your words, the mark he’s sucking into your neck and the way his hands are gripping your tits under your shirt proving to be quite the distraction.

“Let’s go, baby,” you pant, squeezing his arms. “We don’t have a lot of time but I need you.”

He turns you around and presses you against the glass, rocking his hips against you, letting you feel that your desire is reciprocated. “If you’re so sure no one can see us, what’s wrong with me taking you right here?”

You recognize the edge in his voice and your body responds with a shiver; he always knows what you need before you do. “I’d like that,” you reply earnestly.

You hear the two forceful spanks his hand gives you before you feel them and you gasp when the sting registers. “I’ll fuckin’ bet you would... get my cock in you, get to fill your incessant need for attention by pretending that everyone can see what a filthy girl you are for me,” he taunts, undoing his belt. “But you’ll get off knowing that in reality I’m still the only one who gets to see you like that, isn’t that right, baby girl?”

You turn to face him, chest heaving but offering him a wide grin. It’s been too long since he’s had you like this. “Missed you, Daddy.”

“We’ll see about that,” he teases, leaning in to kiss you hard. He tugs at your shirt and pants as he pulls away. “Off.”

You purse your lips, not wanting to argue but also not seeing the point in getting undressed for what should be a quickie.

Before you can question him, Ashton explains. “If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do this right and that means you naked for me. Now.”

You bite your lip to keep from moaning as you watch him pull his cock out of his fly and begin stroking. You lock eyes with him before you start taking your clothes off but you notice his gaze roaming up and down your body as you disrobe. You can’t remember the last time you felt so powerful.

You stand bare in front of him, waiting for whatever comes next. It’s taking everything in you not to reach down and relieve some of the tension building between your legs but you know better.

He walks over to you, hard cock out and shamelessly demanding attention, distracting from his still fully clothed body. He wraps his hand around the back of your neck, his kiss much lighter on your lips than you expect, making you whimper with need. His tongue has just finished tracing over your bottom lip when he leans over to your ear and whispers the words you'd been hoping you'd earned: "Good girl."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he turns you back around and you quickly throw your hands out to brace against the glass, spreading your legs, hoping that your eager cooperation will win you some favor with him.

It’s bizarre looking out the window and seeing your trio of friends across from you, laughing and organizing their belongings while Ashton is breathing heavy on your neck, rutting between your ass cheeks a few times before dragging his fingers through your wetness, using it to slick up his cock.

“I’d remind you we need to make this quick but you’re so fuckin’ wet for me, I know it’s not gonna take much to make this needy pussy cum, is it, baby girl?”

You feel yourself throb in response and before you can even fathom responding, he’s sliding into you and suddenly that’s the only thing that matters. You hang your head and let out a long, low groan. “Yessss… fuck,” you moan as he slowly moves in and out of you, giving you a little more of his length each time.

“How long has it been, baby? You sure you can still take all of me?” He teases, leaning to rub at your clit a few times, enjoying the way it makes you squirm.

You breathe deep, appreciating the way he’s stretching you out, the way you always think you remember how good he feels inside you, only to realize that no memory even comes close to the reality of being wrapped around his cock. “Always feels like it’s been too long when you’re not in me, Daddy,” you pant, moving your hips to let him know you’re ready for more. “Need you all the time.”

“I know, baby,” he says sweetly, running his hand slowly down your back with a surprising gentleness. “Gonna give my baby girl what she needs.”

Ash quickly sets about making good on that promise, setting an ambitious pace for himself as he drives his cock inside you hard and deep. You can vaguely see your own reflection in the window and find yourself hypnotized by the way you respond to him; how your face contorts when he hits just where you want him to, the way your tits bounce as he moves against you, the force with which your entire body is propelled by his thrusts.

You feel the beginnings of something stirring in your core and without giving it a second thought, you slide a hand down to your clit, circling it to help yourself along. You’re alerted that Ashton has noticed your choice when you feel his hand tangle in your hair and yank your head back towards him.

“I don’t remember asking for help, baby girl,” he notes sternly. “You were being so good for me until now, too.” He pulls out and you whimper as your pussy continues to thrum, having been so close to climax but now so devastatingly empty.

“Don’t fuckin’ whine, just because you can’t behave doesn’t mean I'm gonna miss out on this pretty pussy makin’ me cum.”

He walks you closer to the glass, pressing your body up against the window and pinning your arms above your head before he pushes back in. He uses one hand to hold the both of yours while his other snakes around to toy with your clit. “How’s this, baby? Were you actually worried I wasn’t gonna make you cum? Disappointed you think I’d let you down like that,” he mocks, faux guilt dripping from his voice.

“No, Daddy, you’re always so good to me,” you murmur, senses overwhelmed. “It just felt so good… got too excited.”

“Fuckin’ impatient is what you got,” he corrects, nipping at your shoulder.

His hips are hitting into you at that delicious angle again and you both can tell that the rhythm he’s found on your clit is going to send you over the edge fairly soon. You hear him choke back what sounds like a genuine laugh and your eyes open in confusion, wondering what could have caused his reaction.

You hold your breath as Michael and Calum walk closer to the window you're about to cum up against. Your eyes search the landscape and you see Crystal in the distance, leaning on the car, taking a phone call. The guys must have decided to give her some privacy and are now hanging out and chatting by the rocks straight in front of you.

Your mind races as you try to recall with certainty if you noticed any visibility when you and the girls were out there taking pictures together the other day. It just looked like a mirror from that side… right?

It’s as if Ash can read your mind as he taunts, “Mirrored glass, right, baby? No way they can see how fuckin’ greedy you get when you have to go a few days without my cock.” He’s breathing heavy now too, clearly excited by the thought of a potential audience. “Couldn’t even wait a few more hours for me to get you alone, needed it so bad you’re letting me have you up against the glass with everyone right there… my greedy girl, what would they think?”

It’s hard to say if it’s because of the questionable situation or Ashton’s teasing words but you feel yourself getting close again and you start to moan. Loudly.

“Just because they can’t see you doesn’t mean they can’t hear you, baby. You really want them to know how bad you want it?” he sneers, working your body faster. “If they can hear your sounds, do you think they can hear how wet you are for me? How hard and deep I’m fucking you?”

You try to keep it down but as you start pulsing around his cock, you can’t help the cries that escape your lips. Ash’s hand moves up to your mouth in a feeble attempt to muffle your outburst. “Aww baby, you know those noises are only for me to hear, when will you learn how to control yourself?” His reprimand only makes you cry out more.

He grunts at the feeling of you nibbling at his palm, still experiencing intense waves of pleasure from your orgasm. He feels your body still tensing in his arms and sees your legs shaking and he decides you need some comfort. He strokes your hair and coos, “Such a good girl, cumming so hard, squeezing me so tight. Does it feel good, baby?”

You hold yourself on the window again, trying to catch your breath. “So good, Daddy...”

He kisses the back of your neck before he continues searching for his release, rough hands massaging your tits as he bounces you on his cock. You softly murmur encouragement, lost in the feeling of pleasing him and the dreamy haze from your own orgasm.

“Where do you want it, baby?” He asks breathlessly. “Kinda want to make you drip for the next 100 miles but you’re such a good girl, you can choose.”

“Wanna taste,” you answer instantly.

“That’s my girl,” he smirks, pulling out and watching fondly as you get on your knees.

You lean your head back against the window and raise your brow expectantly, waiting for him to continue. He gently runs a hand over your face before guiding his cock between your lips. It’s his turn to brace against the glass as he thrusts inside your mouth; you grip the back of his thighs, moaning around him, loving the feeling of being used by him in yet another way today.

Ashton huffs out a string of curses followed by a breathy cry of your name and you feel spurts of cum shooting across your tongue. You rub up and down his legs soothingly, soft sounds of satisfaction leaving your throat as he finishes rocking himself against you.

You pop off of his cock and press a kiss to the tip, smiling up at him as he tries to collect himself, still propped up on the glass. He leans down and kisses you tenderly, hands gently caressing your face.

"This was a good idea, baby," he breathes.

You tousle his hair and smile as he stands back up. He takes off, mumbling something about grabbing the Kleenex box from the bathroom and you hum contentedly, satisfied with your reunion.

Still on your knees, you turn around to peer out the window, wondering how much time you have left before your friends start asking for you. Michael and Crystal catch your attention first and you notice they only have a few items to go before the cars are fully loaded.

You squint, wondering why you don’t see Cal. You laugh to yourself, wondering if he got tired of their project and decided to lay down in one of the cars.

You start to jokingly suggest this to Ash when out of the corner of your eye, you spot some movement. You look up to see Calum, cigarette in hand, standing directly in front of your window. A knowing smile paints his face as he looks down at either his own reflection or at you. You can’t be sure. You surprise yourself as you realize that you can’t say for certain which scenario you would prefer.

You’re still staring out the window, speechless, as Ashton re-enters the room. He unsuspectingly jokes, “Goddamn, baby. Which one of us is gonna get some mirrored glass installed back at home?”

————-

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[into-crazy]

horror and chill

Ledger!Joker x Female Reader one shot

Summary: You and J watch a horror flick. Eventually you both grow bored, turning your attention onto one another. You don't make it through the movie.

Warnings- Cursing, NSFW, SMUT, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, light knife play, spanking, use of the word daddy(once), unprotected sex, brief degradation, choking, light blood play, J style fluff, ages 18+

This sort of popped into my head while I was watching a scary movie. I'm a sucker for watching horror movies in the dark. Let's just say my self indulgences deff kicked in with this one whew! Also forewarning, it’s very long.

The month of October has always been a favorite for you. That time of the year when Autumn is in full effect. The air outside is cooled down, where it's not too hot and not quite cold yet. Seasonal items return with a comeback, available to stock up on- whether they be edible goodies or scented candles. Then, of course, there's Halloween. Or spooky season, as the kids like to call it.

That special time where watching horror movies is an absolute must. Ordering takeout, nothing on but panties and an oversized tee, cuddling on the couch with a blanket, turning out all of the lights, and blasting the volume on the television to get the full effect. Yeah, it's one of your most prized traditions.

You and Joker have been together for well over year now. Let's just say he was around this time last year. He knew of your passion for this month, but he hasn't fully experienced it with you. Since that was a point where your relationship- if that's what you want to call it- was still fresh. Too early to establish complete trust and understanding in one another. Actually, you believe that still may be the case for J.

Not that you have anything against it. He's a highly complex and guarded man, he has a difficult time trusting people. In fact, he doesn't. But he's allowed you- and no one else- to come this close into his life, and it's pretty damn close. He trusts you enough and he's trying. There's nothing you'd ever do to betray that. You've come to accept it'll take a longer period before you'd get there fully.

Though it can be rough sometimes, you've had your fair share of fights. But he's never given you a reason to leave. You trust him, you've grown to love him. And while J would never confess to it, would never say it aloud, he adores you. He shows it in everything that he does for you. As for love, you've become aware and accepted that the word doesn't apply to him. He can't love. And that's okay.

Fast forward over to now, already a week into October. It's a Saturday night, and you're ready to continue your cherished routine, but with your beloved J. You've only watched two horror flicks thus far. Both nights had been alone, minus him and the takeout. He's been busy with his usual chaotic jobs, which kept him out later hours into the night. However you don't care about that right now, he called and informed you that he'll be home for tonight's showing.

"An' don't ah, don't ya dare start without me." J warned on the other end of the phone line.

"Well then you better hurry back," you playfully teased into the phone, "I already ordered the pizza and the movie is set to play."

That conversation ended about forty minutes ago. You sat on the couch in your shared apartment, waiting for him. Everything good to go, pizza has arrived, scented candles are lit, movie ready to proceed at the click of a button, and the lights are off- save for the small lamp by the entryway. The overall setting feeling eerily, just how you like it. It also feels quite romantic, which is a bonus.

You're wearing one of J's dress shirts with a blush thong underneath. Wrapped snug in a huge fluffy blanket in your designated spot(rightfully decided by you as this was your apartment first). Since he prefers to keep the apartment cold, you tend to get chilly a lot. Which was fine considering you have J and a vast selection of blankets to keep you warm. Currently, you have the blanket. All that's missing is J.

What's taking him so long? I'm gonna start the movie, I don't care. He'll just have to deal with it.. and I'm not rewinding it either.

You began to ponder while sitting in silence. Fingers tapping impatiently on the remote, debating whether or not you should carry on without him. With a loud huff, you glance over at the pizza box on the small table directly in front of you. In the amount of time you've waited, you managed to eat two slices already.

Then, you heard the familiar ruffling noise at the front door. The sound of the lock hurriedly being turned getting you to shoot your eyes towards it without moving your head. The door swings open and in walks J in all his glory, quickly shutting and locking the closure behind him.

"I'm home-ah!" A lilt in his voice as he exaggerates his arrival.

"You're late," you return displeasingly.

He narrows his glare at you, "well uh, hello to you too."

Rolling your eyes, you motion with your fingers, "I was this close to starting the movie without you. What took you so long?"

J works on shrugging off his plum trench coat. "What can I say? It was such a ah, easy breeze to get here." He throws sarcastically.

Shaking your head, you laugh, "I'm sorry J, I didn't mean to sound rude. I just missed you is all." You really do appreciate the extra efforts he goes through to make sure he gets here safe and undetected. To not be traced or followed. Be it by his fellow rivals, Gotham police, and in some cases- the Batman.

"Yeah doll, I know," he licks his lips, "I know." You watch him remove a few of his other articles to get more comfortable. His face paint isn't too disheveled which tells you his day went rather smoothly. Or as he prefers to call it- boring.

You open up the blanket to make space for him. Patting the empty spot right next to you, "hurry and get over here, pizza's getting cold."

Left in his purple slacks, dress shirt, and socks, he shuts off the last light before making his way over to plop onto the couch next to you. He allows you to snuggle against him. With the cover behind him, he doesn't feel the need to wrap himself in it. You, on the other hand, have your end burrito wrapped over you. Finally, you stick your hand out the blanket to hit play on the remote.

Twenty minutes in, you were beginning to grow less and less interested in the film. Nothing but a predictable storyline with a bunch of weak jump scares. Not to mention the overly cheesy acting. Though it wasn't completely terrible, it had a few good points to it. However this film probably won't make it onto your rewatch list. You failed to previously read the reviews for this one like you normally would when picking a new movie to watch. The plot sounded good when you had read it. Oh well, you gave it a shot.

J wasn't fond of the movie either. He's actually more bored of it than you are. Occasionally would he exhale blatantly or comment on one of the bad moments that came across. This. Is. Torture. He thought to himself staring blankly at the screen. And not the good kind. Alas, he'll bite his tongue and miserably sit through another hour because it is your movie night, and he knows how much this means to you.

You can't help but feel bad for having him sit through this with you- for you. Soon, you lost total interest in the film and your mind began to drift.. elsewhere. To his hand, resting freely between your soft thighs. His palm feels so warm against your flesh. But that's just J- always giving off heat. He's like your own personal heater. Sometimes warming you to the point you don't even need a blanket because it becomes too hot. Speaking of which, you removed the cover, preferring his signature warmth over the fabric's any day.

Your fingers start to brush lightly on his wrists and knuckles. The subtle touch earns you half smile followed with a pleased hum, which you see in your peripheral vision. He hasn't caught on yet, but your need for him is building fast.

You scooch closer to him in attempt to get his hand where you need it most without him catching on just yet. It didn't work, his hand isn't touching you. It's right there, mere millimeters away. Thinking about how amazing his hands feel when he touches you. When he grants you with friction as he rubs your throbbing clit. The wonderful spots he reaches when he relentlessly fucks you with those paint speckled fingers. Curling them deep, making you writhe and cry beneath him.

Clamping his wrist, your breath hitches at the thought. Shit. That was audible. For a split second, you thought you might have blown it. But Joker took it as something from the film frightening you.

"Quiet doll," he shushes, "you an' I both know the ah, movie ain't scary."

Fuck, you can't take it anymore. You want him to touch you. With a slight roll of your hips, you manage to get his hand to brush against your clothed heat. The smallest bit of friction causes you to release a muffled whimper.

J's arm stiffens and his face instantly snaps to look at you. You seize, halting your movement. No question, he felt what you did, sees the burning desperation in your eyes. Tossing his head back, he erupts in a delighted, high pitched cackle. "Oh-" more cackling laughter as he glances at you again, "so that's what that was." A malicious smirk spreads his scarred cheeks. He firmly grips the inside of your thigh, pulling you against him. "What happened bunny? Growin' needy?" Cupping your clothed mound, his fingers rub you teasingly.

"Yeah," you admit, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. Tightening your thighs around his wrist. Would've been no use lying to him when he'd easily seen and felt otherwise.

His rubbing comes to an abrupt stop. He taunts, "Ahh, this was your idea, hm. You were the one keen on a movie night, remember?"

"I know, but-"

"Ah-ta-ta," He cuts you off, "But nothing. This is what ya wanted, so that's what we'll do. We'll ah, sit here and watch."

Suddenly, he lifts you, effortlessly moving you into his lap. You yelp as your back is pressed flush against his torso. He separates your legs apart, you can feel his cock beginning to harden under you, pushing into the plush of your ass. One hand wraps around your chest, to roughly knead your breasts. The other slides under the shirt, gliding over your abdomen, down between your legs. To rub harsh circles on your excited clit through the thinly soaked fabric of your underwear.

"Ahh- fuck!" You whine, throwing your head back to rest on his shoulder, reaching around to grip his green locks.

J starts to kiss and nip his way down your neck. Leaving dark patches into your skin, accompanied by red and white splotches- completely marking you. Once he was satisfied with his marks, he leans closely by your ear. "You're dripping, doll," he whispers huskily, his hot breath brushing against your neck. "Now, you will sit here and watch the flick like a good girl, while I play with this needy little cunt of yours. No fussin' or fightin'. Got it?"

"Mhm, yes sir," you answer. Biting back the urge to smile at the thought of finally getting what you want. Fighting it off because, let's be real here, you know with J, it never comes along that easy. But he always makes it damn well worth it.

"Good, now sit still." He growls lowly onto your neck. With that, he pushed your panties to the side and began his torture. His fingers transitioning from fucking your aching hole to rubbing the drenched digits on your throbbing clit. Whispering twistingly sweet and dirty words into your ear while he slathers your own arousal all over your pussy.

He'd bring you close, on the verge of your orgasm, only to stop his movements entirely. Tearing it away from you before you could fall over that edge into pure ecstasy. You grew more and more frustrated each time he'd do that. Though you haven't fully, but you're rapidly losing your composure. Which already may be broken. Sweat is forming on your hairline, tears are prickling your eyes, your breath is starting to hitch. Starting to want it so bad you're teetering towards retaliating to get what you crave.

Joker's counting on it. He thrives on edging you, demands the control over you. As much as he prefers having you entirely at his mercy, he likes it when you lash back. Finds it rather amusing, makes for something a little bit more interesting. See how far you'll go before you snap so beautifully.

And that's now.

You start to buck your hips against his fingers that are going in and out of your pussy, along with his thumb assaulting your clit. Feeling that powerful knot reforming, you need to orgasm. "Oh f-fuck! Please!" You start pleading, "I-I can't take it anymore. Please J, l-let me cum!"

"You wanna cum?" He hints, removing his chin from your neck.

"Yes, God- yes please!" You cry out, clawing your nails into his thighs. Clamping down to gain better leverage. The wild rolling of your hips gets your ass brushing more against his hardened cock. Your arousal had already soaked through his pants a long time ago.

"Fuck," he hisses through gritted teeth, digging his fingers hard into your hip that's sure to leave an array of dotted bruises. He bucks absently into you, licking a wet, hot trail up your neck. "Mm, dirty girl. So you wanna play that game-ah?"

He moves his fingers faster and harder. Even over the loud volume from the television could the wet squelching sounds deriving from his ministrations be heard. The air filled with the scent of sex- your sex. So desperate and ready to let go and orgasm. It's driving you crazy.

"P-please- Ahh! Can I cum?" You plead. Hoping he'll reward you at least for asking.

"You can cum. Go on, babygirl. Cum on my fingers." He finally grants, fingers continuing to get you to ecstasy.

Well you didn't have to be told twice.

You release with a broken cry, orgasm gushing out onto his digits. Drenching the fabric of his pants beneath you. Your body spasming madly over his own while you ride out your high.

Coming down, J removed his hand from your pussy. His fingers are glistening, coated in your cum. He sticks them into your mouth. "Clean my fingers of the mess you made," he growls the command in your ear. Groaning in approval when you comply. Eagerly licking and sucking his digits clean of your juices. "Come here," he grabs your face, turning your head, making you look at him. "Give me a taste."

He kisses you, shoving his tongue into your mouth to savor the taste of your delectable juices. You kiss him back feverishly. One hand fisting in his hair, the other goes to stroke his cock. Still clothed, still hard. The action causing him to snarl against your lips, "such a greedy little thing. Always ah, wanting more. Ya just can't get enough of me, huh?"

"Never," you huff with a grin, "and telling by this-" you rub him again, "neither could you." His eyes snap to glare into yours viciously. Ohh, he's gonna make you pay for that snarky remark.

With hasty movements, J turns you around so that you're now facing him. Straddling his lap. He tears the shirt that adorned your body open, buttons flying to scatter the couch and floor. Someone's gonna have to sew those back on later, most likely you. He removes the shirt from you, carelessly tossing it aside.

With the large article gone, it granted him with a better view of the mess you made on his custom, pricey slacks. His entire crotch and thigh area is completely drenched in your juices. He gave a sigh which tried to make him sound annoyed or displeased. However, with the straining bulge pushing against you below, you know that was far from the case. His eyes traveled to land on your barley covered pussy, he groaned at the sight. The flimsy fabric of your thong sticking to one of your wonderful, wet lips. Your orgasm, still dribbling out your cunt.

He hooked a finger under the thin strap hugging your hip, pulling far enough only to have it fall and snap against you. Chuckling at your slightly startled reaction. "Bad girl. Misbehaving, talking back, making a mess of my pants? These aren't exactly 'buy at the store' ready. Maybe I should put your dirty mouth to use and have you suck your own juices up, hm?"

"I misbehaved?" You mock a pout, fully knowing what you did. Regardless, asking anyway.

His kneads the plush of your ass roughly. The callousness of his hands making you shiver in his grasp. You may think this position is in your favor, that you could use it to your advantage. But Joker's got you right where he wants you. The stern look in his blackened eyes and the firm hold he's got on you make that known. "You ah- were supposed to make it through the film without so much as a fuss. Remember that?"

"I was?" Your fingers ghost up his chest, "I don't remember that part." Now you're pushing it. He notices the smile threatening to creep your face. One of his hands shoots up to grasp a fistful of your hair, yanking your head back, exposing your marked neck.

"Yes," he acknowledges slowly trailing his lips up your throat, "yes you do. You just chose to be a brat and not listen." His tone is dangerous, and it would've been absolutely frightening had you been anyone else instead of the only person he cares about in his life. Even though he'd never verbally admit that, frustrating as it is for him, he does care. He does. Which is why whenever you feel that tingle dubbed as fear creep up your spine, you still hold assurance. The flesh of his scars brush the underside of your chin, making you moan unabashedly. "Ya know I gotta punish you for that."

J uses his hold on your hair and hip to guide you to lay over his lap, your naked stomach pressed against his wet thighs, and most of all, his erection. He reaches over to the small table beside the couch, plucking an item you assume to be one of his signature knives. The distinct clicking sound indicates you were correct. It's a switchblade.

He drags the razor sharp blade along your spine until it reaches your underwear, almost on the verge of slicing into you. The thrill gets your heart pounding faster in your chest and ears. You love it when he cuts you, and he's aware of that. But this is a punishment, so you won't be getting what you want.. least not yet. Placing it under the strap, he tears the article to shreds, carelessly nicking you a few times in the process. Alright, so the little nicks he can't control. Those just come naturally. Tossing the ruined fabric aside, he palms your ass cheeks, favoring a spot to start spanking. "Count. We'll ah, stop when I decide you've had enough."

His palm came down hard against your ass, sending an electrifying jolt through your entire body causing you to yelp. "One!" You count. The stinging grew worse with each spank. He hit you hard, but it wasn't anything you couldn't bare. Warm tears steamed down your reddened cheeks. It hurt in a wonderful way, your pussy leaking more arousal as it progressed. He continued to spank you until he grew bored of hearing the same cries and whines.

"Last one bunny," he subtly praised, soothing over the bright marks in your flesh that are starting to welt and bruise. With that, his hand came down a final time. This one stinging the worst.

"Fif- fifteen." You manage to rasp, mind overcome with the lust you had building up. At this point you need him inside you. You need his cock buried deep in your aching core and you need him now. "Please f-fuck me J. I need you!" Your body arched into his as you begged.

J snickered, "need me huh? How bad?" His hand went back to your abused ass to shove you forward, so that your pelvis was atop his as he purposely rolled his erection against your painfully heated sex. The friction drawing a long, strained moan from your lips which pleased him. "Tell me bunny. How, how bad do ya need my cock?"

"Bad- oh so fucking bad- I need your cock! P-Please J, please daddy, fuck me!" You practically shout, resorting to the word daddy. A word which you hardly use, but do when need be. And now was a time of great need.

A snarl left his lips as he yanks you off briefly to undo his pants and shove them down. His cock finally free from the uncomfortable confines, he sighs with relief as he takes it into his hand, pumping a few times. The tip, red and angry with his precum beading out. "Get over here now," he growls impatiently.

Wasting no time, you swing your leg over both of his, reclaiming your previous place of straddling him. You grabbed-rather pawed- his shoulders for leverage. His thick head lines up with your dripping entrance, then he pulls you down, driving his length inside with a powerful thrust. Knocking the wind from you as he filled you. Fuck, how he stretched you so good.

After a brief second for you both to adjust- you to his size and him to recompose himself- he instructs you to- "Move."

To which you do. Rapidly bouncing yourself up and down on his cock. Unashamed at the loud moans and whimpers continuously leaving your lips. This was exactly what you needed, and having been denied lots tonight it felt amazing to finally have this. You moved like your life depended on it.

J grunted as he met your thrusts with his languid ones, his hands guiding the movement of your hips. He held back from pounding into you, oh how he's going to pound into you, just not yet. Which means he's definitely in the mood to tease you to an extent, in any and every way that he can. What an asshole.. Your asshole.

Your arms went to wrap around him. To your surprise, he didn't shove them off. Instead, his chin went to rest in the crook of your neck, catching glimpse of the illuminated TV screen. The movie was still on.

"Mhm, you're just a horny little slut, aren't ya?" He sneered. "Can't even get through a movie without having my cock inside of ya."

There was no way you could give him a proper response. So wrapped were you in the exhilarating feeling of him that any words to a sentence you tried to form wouldn't come out. What did manage to slip out was muddled babbling. He snickered at your incoherence.

The female protagonist on the screen started to scream. The shrieking noise caught both your attention, though your actions didn't falter. "This woman's a terrible actor," J criticized the lady, "her scream is so fake, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes- ah," you return finding your voice, "It s-sure is."

He removed one hand from your hip, gliding it up the valley between your breasts to grip your neck. Glaring menacingly into your eyes momentarily before muttering, "I think you could give me a better one." You knew from his low tone that something malicious just popped into his head. His fingers tightened, "Let's see if you could scream louder than the girl on the screen. Can ya do that for me sweets?"

You nodded feverishly within his hold, "yes J."

Satisfied with the answer, he began driving his cock vigorously up into you. The harsh slapping of skin heard as his hips pound mercilessly against your own. The spontaneous change of pace left you almost completely breathless. Your orgasm was fast approaching. Eyes squeezing shut as he fucked you relentlessly. You screamed, "Oh fuck!"

Your beautiful screams rang harmoniously in his ears like a favored tune. That he could play on repeat over and over and never grow tired of hearing. Your screams and moans are definitely his favorite sounds, aside from explosions and gunfire. He can't help but want more. Crave more.

"Come on doll, get louder," he teases, "I know ya could do better than that." He went to tug your head to the side, exposing the junction between your neck and shoulder. Sinking his yellowed teeth in, biting down hard to draw blood. That was just the push you needed. Your eyes roll back and your walls clench tightly around his length, releasing a shattering scream as you cum violently around his cock.

J lapped the fresh blood from where he bit you. "Hm, that's it," he groaned, "now that's a real scream." He kept going, his pace never letting up. In fact, soon as your hands went to tug at his hair did his thrusts speed up.

You yank his head from your neck to look into his intoxicating eyes, moving to glance towards your blood on his lips. Crashing them with yours to taste that savory metallic flavor for yourself. You take his bottom lip between your teeth and bite down harshly, earning a rumbling groan from him.

He's getting closer and closer to his own peak as you're nearing another. When you feel his thumb move to rub rigorous circles on your sensitive clit, you release his lip with a sharp cry. "J!"

Your walls clamping painfully tight around his throbbing dick, vision blurring as you cum. Nails digging into his broad chest, probably creating tiny bruises under the shirt.

He relishes in the pinch of pain you give him. Combined together with your sinful noises, the sight of your face contorted in ecstasy, and the feeling of your tight warm walls. With that, he buries himself in you and cums hard. A moan mixed with a groan like noise slipping from his lips while he shoots his hot load into your cervix. So much, that some leaks out while you milk him of every last drop.

J collects his breath before lifting your weight up to slip out of you. Your pussy lips are so swollen that his cum isn't even able to drip down once he's out. He sets you onto the couch beside him, getting up to go into the restroom to clean himself and grab a damp rag to bring back to you.

As you regain yourself, you manage to sit a little more up on the couch. Wincing, trying not to sit up all the way due to the soreness already starting to form between your legs. You wrap the blanket around your naked form and silently contemplate. The sex was amazing sure, but you still felt bad for ruining movie night with a terrible movie.

The sound of J coming back in hadn't even registered with you until he waved his hand in your view, tearing you from your thoughts. You blink quickly, offering him a smile to hide it. But J had already seen the small frown when he walked back. And he wanted to know the reason behind it, since it was out of the ordinary. Usually you're always smiling in your post orgasmic state.

"What's carving a frown in ya, pumpkin?" He asks, a hint of concern in his tone as he hands you the small towel. The strange nickname causes you to giggle and he eases knowing you're alright.

"It's nothing J," you say shyly, "I'm just.. I'm sorry the movie sucked. I promise I'll pick a better one next time."

He hums, saying nothing else as he sits back down beside you. Draping his arm behind the couch behind you. Blankly watching the last of the movies end credits while you clean yourself with the rag.

You start to laugh again, "Well, now I really wanna carve a pumpkin. This place could use a couple. How about tomorrow I get some for us to carve?"

He grins sinisterly, "ya know, I'm usually carving into people."

"Pumpkins are less messy. Like, way less." You playfully respond.

"I like messy," he huffs.

"Yeah I know you do." You smile knowingly at him, lightly tracing the hexagonal patterns on his shirt. "I thought it would be fun. You don't have to if you don't want to."

J licks his scars as he ponders on it. Any activity having to do with a carving into something with a knife, count him in. "Ah, what the hell. Alright. What better way then to uh, help me spruce up on my slicing skills." He traces his hand out in front of him, as if he were carving a smile into something. This action causes you to release a genuine laugh. And in that moment, J relishes in hearing yet another one of his favorite sounds~

Woah, so that's the end! I hope you guys liked it. Again, sorry that it was so long. I can't help but make these super lengthy when it comes to smut😭

[marvel-chubbybucky-hoe]

Ungrateful?

Hey there :) Just randomly found your blog and I would die for some Loki x Reader fluff/angst written for me. Like maybe Loki takes the Human!Reader with him to Asgard to live there. But the longer they live there, the more the Reader misses Midgard. You know, like the Reader tries really hard to feel home in Asgard, but just is quite homesick. So they are in a romantic relationship for a while now and Loki tries to make it better for the Reader. I hope I explained it understandably xD I actually tried writing this today, but kind of failed, maybe I´ll try in a few days again, but I would love to read your version, because I need this scenario! So: It would be so kind if you would write something for me ^^ ~Ash 

Relationship: Loki Laufeyson / Reader

Tags: angst, fluff, angst to fluff, feelings, self doubt, guilt, shapeshifting, Thor and Loki are your typical siblings, reader is harsh on herself, dating Loki, Loki is the sweetest, Loki being cute

Words: 3892

A/n: I honestly don’t know why this took me so long. I was out of wifi for a little and had to take care of my dog (he got vaccinated and felt a little down :( ) But here it is. I hope you like it. Loads of love 

Loki had met you after Thor convinced him that Midgardians were fun to be around when drunk and furthermore Thor was concerned for Loki. The god of mischief has never before been so quiet. Frigga had begged for Odin to release her son from prison, because she was worried for him. The Allfather agreed, although reluctantly, but Loki had kept to himself.

He was scared of returning to Midgard after he attacked the planet while under the influence of the mind stone. Thor comforted him and promised to stay by his side and even though he would never admit this, Loki felt reassured.

While on Midgard, Loki felt people stare at him, heard the whispers and saw the scared looks on people’s faces. He was embarrassed, but Thor’s booming voice distracted him. 

You were on of Jane’s interns and welcomed Loki with open arms, slightly drunk. After Jane slapped him, you stumbled over to him and hugged him “Don’t hit him, he looks so sad”, you yelled and pouted at him.

And ever since that day Loki’s infatuation with you started to grow and developed into love eventually. He became happier and healthier and finally asked you to join him on Asgard. You were ecstatic to join your love on his home planet.

And it was great. The Asgardians treated you kindly and you were in love with the architecture and culture. The best thing of course, was the vast amount of time you could spend with Loki. He let you in on his mind, his fears and his past, which led you to angrily yelling at Odin until Frigga gently pulled you away. You cried into her arms while she guided you back to Loki’s chamber.

Your prince engulfed you and Frigga in a hug and let you let all your emotions out. You looked up at him and put your had on his cheek “I will never let anyone hurt you ever again” Loki looked back down at you and had to hold back tears, putting his hand over yours.

After your outburst, Odin felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Seeing Loki being fully loved and the positive influence it has on his mental health made him realize his mistakes in raising and parenting his younger son.

Odin has since tried to slowly regain Loki’s trust and rebuild their relationship. Loki didn’t show it openly, but he told you how excited he is over finally making his father proud. 

And everything had been great, really, until you suddenly felt numb. You couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but something was off. It took you a while to figure out, but when you were out with Sif and you swooned about Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic and were met with a face of confusion, that you realized you were homesick.

It made you feel so guilty. Loki brought you here out of love, he poured out his heart for you and what did you do? You were an ungrateful brat that wanted to return to earth .You felt so horrible that you couldn’t even look into Loki’s eyes.

Instead, you spend most of your time in the palace garden crying your eyes out. You missed your old apartment, and the smell of fresh baked cinnamon rolls from the bakery downstairs. You missed your little uncomfortable bed and your teddy, the view out of your window and your movie collection. 

When you returned to the palace and saw Loki again, you had tears pooling in your eyes again out of guilt. He would come towards you and gently presses his lips to your temple and smile at you “I’m so happy you’re here, my Queen”, he’d whisper like he did every evening. You sat down with him and his hand never left your thigh. 

You managed to stop your tears for eight more days, before you excused yourself from the table to run for your favourite bench to cry. That’s were you find yourself now, sobbing into your hands in your Asgardian robe. You hear footsteps behind you and tense, dreading the conversation that is surely going to ensue. 

“My queen?”, Loki asks, his voice quiet and scared. His tone makes you whimper. All you had been doing lately was making your beautiful boyfriend scared and sad. You are a horrible girlfriend. Instead of supporting him, you are bringing him down out of your own selfishness. 

Loki sits down next to you and gently takes your hands into his. “Please, tell me what has been bothering you? I cannot stand to see you this miserable”, he pleads with you. You take a shuddering breath and look up at him “I’m sorry, my prince, so, so sorry”, you begin to sob again, “I never meant for this to happen! Please forgive my selfishness”

A sigh comes from him and he puts an arm around your shoulders, “My love, you don’t need to apologize for your feelings, however I wish to help you. Please enlighten me what is darkening your beautiful mind?” You continue to cry into your hands “It’s just…”, you look at him, “I miss home and I’m so sorry. You give me everything and I can’t even appreciate you properly!” His embrace usually brings you comfort, but now it only serves to deepen your guilt.

You bury your face in your hands once more “ I’m so horrible, such a bad girlfriend. I’m so sorry!”  Loki is shocked by your words. He knew something was bothering you, he’d be a terrible boyfriend if he didn’t, but that you were feeling so low made his heart ache. 

Loki pulls you closer to him and snakes his arms around your waist “My queen, you should have told me. It was never my intention to make you sad like this. If you desire to return to earth, I will let you go, not that you need my permission” Your head shoots up “No! You’re what makes me happy. I could never be happy without you. This must be some phase, maybe it’s the weather. Yeah, that’s it! This will be over soon, my prince I promise. I should lay down.” You stand up and kiss Loki, before smiling at him, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine”

Loki sits on the bench dumbfounded, watching your retreating figure. He scoffed. After this encounter he will obviously worry about you. And what he is going to do might not be his proudest moment, but he will surely do everything in his power to find out how he can help you. 

That’s how he finds himself transformed as Fandral. You and him had quickly developed a friendship, surprisingly enough. Loki was sure he can get to the root of your problem in this form. He quickly struts towards your shared chamber and knocks politely.

„Lady Y/n? Are you in there?“, he hollers. After a few seconds, you answer „I am, come in Fandral“ Loki enters, sees you sitting on the bed and cocks his head towards the space next to you. “Yes, of course, sit please“, you mumble, a nervous habit of yours. Loki sits next to you and places a hand on your knee. You look at him and see his compassionate eyes and know that you can trust him. “I saw you running off on Loki earlier. Are you okay?“

You sigh. “I’m just so homesick. I miss being on earth and being surrounded by people who understand society the same way as me“, you glance at Fandral “no offence“ Loki smiles at you,“none taken, but maybe you should specify what you miss exactly?“ You rub your hands over your thighs slowly,“I miss my movies, my apartment, human cooking, the culture, you know?“

Loki sheepishly grins „I don’t, but I guess that’s the issue, huh?“ You shoot him a look „Fandral! I trust you with my problems and all you do is this?“, you exclaim, but can’t fend off a smile. He shrugs and smiles, while ruffling your hair, “That’s what I do, Lady Y/n“

After a while, Loki exits your chambers and rushes towards a quiet place to shift back to his original form as Loki. He was now aware of what had been bothering you so much and a loose plan is already forming in his head, but he would need Thor’s help. He knew more about Midgardians than Loki, so he would surely have an answer.

He walks towards the dining hall, hoping his family was still around and bumped into the God of Thunder on his way. “Brother, what leads you to running around like you’re fleeing from this realm’s fury?“, he chuckles and slings an arm over Loki’s smaller frame. “I need your help, brother. It concerns Lady Y/n’s well being.“, the younger prince discloses.

Thor halts to look at Loki, who is looking at him desperately. “Well, what is it, then?“ Loki tells the story to Thor, who looks to be in deep thought. After a moment, the older one grins, “I’ve got it. We should visit Midgard.. We can go to Lady Y/n’s old apartment and grab some of her valuables. Maybe it’ll make her feel better!“.

And that’s what they do. They meet up with Jane who gives Loki the key to your apartment. “Tell her that I love her, yes?“, she smiles, before Thor and her take off. Loki makes his way to your flat and pauses at the door. Hopefully, he’ll find enough to make you happy again. He puts the key in the hole and turns it to enter.

The first thing his eyes fall upon are some of your old coats. He reaches out to touch the fabric. It’s thick and sturdy and must surely keep one warm. He takes it off the rack and fold it into a bag he brought. Loki moves further into your home and walks into the kitchen. You mentioned you missed the Midgardian food, so he rummages through your cupboards until he finds a cooking book.

He opens it and some yellowish handwritten recipes fall out. They must have been from your ancestors. Loki reads over them quickly. There’s apple pie, a veggie lasagna, cheesecake among others. They must hold a special place in your heart, if you’re still keeping them. He puts the recipes back into the book and places it into the bag. He’ll have to buy some ingredients for the Asgardian chefs, so they can cook these recipes.

He continues to wander through your apartment and find himself in your living room. On the shelf are pictures that show you and different people. One shows you as a toddler, grinning toothily on a man’s lap, probably your father. Loki smiles at the picture. You were a cute child and he was happy your father seemed to love and care for you. He puts this and few other pictures in the bag.

His gaze falls on a stack of movies an cds. Right, he should get you some. You often talked about these so called ‘classics’, so  he browses through them and looks for titles that seem familiar. He ends up with Titanic, Groundhog Day and The Shining, because he vaguely remembers you talking about them. He randomly grabs some more – he can’t help but shake his head at some of the titles, like seriously what kind of name is Willy Wonka – and puts them in the bag.

On his way to your bathroom he also takes a fluffy warm blanket with him. Your bathroom is small and Loki can’t help, but laugh at the rubber duck that’s sitting in your sink. He picks it up and raises it to his face to inspect it. He squeezes it and immediately drops it after it makes a squeaking noise. He glares at the duck and taps it with his boot, before he reluctantly picks it up again and puts it in his bag.

The bathroom doesn’t hold anymore things Loki deems worthy, but a bottle of perfume which makes him remember your smell when you first met. A mixture of lemon, flowers and sweat that he hasn’t realized he missed so badly. Loki then sashays into your bedroom, the memory filling him with child like joy. Upon entering your chamber, he stops to an abrupt halt and holds his breath. The room has your name written all over it. He feels like he’s trespassing into a sacred temple. After he let his eyes roam he lets out the breath he has been holding and rolls his shoulders.

Your old bed catches his attention. It is made just like you do it to your shared bed on Asgard. He lays down on it and breathes in the barely noticeable scent of you and rubs over the bed sheets with his hands. Suddenly, tears are gathering in his eyes and before he can stop them, they are falling down his cheeks. He didn’t notice how much your sadness had been bringing him down.

You are the love of his life and the thought of you, so lifeless and sad makes his heart ache. He cannot lose you. Oh lord, does he hope his little adventure will pay off. He just wants you to be happy again. Loki breathes your scent in deeply, before he wipes away his tears and sits up determined to bring your joy back.

He is about to jump into action when his eyes meet the two button eyes of a brown teddy. It has open arms and a heart on his chest that reads 'press me’. Loki reaches for the bear and follows the instructions, “Hi, I’m Pongo and I already know we’ll be the best of friends”, the teddy says. Loki watches the stuffed toy suspiciously, but then sees you hugging the bear and talking to him and he lets out a giggle. You truly are adorable.

The bear lands in the bag and Loki searches for more of your things. He finds a photo album of you and Jane on your desk. He looks through the pages and stops at a picture of you kissing Jane with a bottle of Midgardian alcohol in your hand. Loki can’t help but playfully shake your head, he had rarely seen you so carelessly. The album also goes in the bag, along with some of your clothes he likes – especially the lingerie – a poster, your guitar and some technological things (“it’s a play station”, you later clarify). He also find some seeds that you’ll maybe have fun with planting and caring for.

He looks through your flat again to see if he missed something and smiles confidently when he doesn’t find anything. He disguises himself as a Midgardian to buy the ingredients necessary for your recipes, before he meets up with Thor and Jane.

“Did you find everything you need?”, she asks. “Yes, I think so. However, I thought I wouldn’t see you again so soon, Lady Jane” Thor laughs at his brother and pulls him to his side, “Jane will join us for a little. We thought Lady Y/n might enjoy to see her again”. Loki thinks about that and nods, “That’s true. Good thinking, brother. I cannot believe I get to see such a miracle with my own eyes” A smirk flashes on the younger god’s face. Thor gracefully ignores the insult and instead hollers for Heimdall to take them back.

The bifrost brings them back safely. “Thor, Loki, Lady Jane, welcome on Asgard”, Heimdall’s voice sounds deep and calm as usual. Thor nods at the gatekeeper and turns to Loki, “Jane and I will go find Lady Y/n. You may execute your wishes in regard of what you have planned for your dame” Loki nods, but cannot help but roll his eyes at his brother. Like he actually needed his permission. He does however pursue his plan.

The sun is already setting when you return to your chamber. You spent the day with Jane and Thor. You missed her greatly and you had a lot of catching up to do, but you had a blast with the couple. However, seeing how loved up they are and how they were always touching or staring into each others eyes made you realize how much you also missed Loki. You shut him out, because you thought you were homesick, but seeing Thor and Jane made you understand that your prince was actually what you missed when you continued to feel worse.

When you enter your bedroom, you expect to see Loki laying on your bed. Instead you see Pongo, your old teddy sitting on his pillow. You smile and hug the toy, when you notice a note on his back. It was sticking to the fur, but you managed to get it off just fine.

My dear Y/n,

I know you have been feeling rather poorly, so I planned this evening to hopefully make you feel better. You are an impeccable woman, my Queen, and whenever something concerns you, I have an insatiable desire to make you feel elated, as you deserve to be. I am the most fortunate man in all the nine realms to have you by my side. If you are willing to see me, find me at your favourite tree in the royal garden.

PS There are some clothes in the wardrobe you might appreciate.

In love,

Loki

You are smiling at the end of his letter and open the wardrobe where you see many of your old clothes, hung neatly next to your Asgardian ones. You change into some comfortable leggings and a comfortable baggy sweater and immediately rush to the magnificent weeping willow near the back of the garden, Pongo secure in your arms. The branches fall gracefully towards the ground and the nearby lake is shimmering in a golden glow. You reach out to move the leaves and step into the secluded area under the tree. A sight you never dreamed of seeing awaits you.

Loki sits on a fluffy blanket, definitely the one your grandma gifted you on Christmas some years ago, a basket is next to him and the air smells of delicious food, it’s familiar, but you can’t point your finger at it. Your boyfriend smiles at you lovingly and stands up to grab your free hand, “My Queen, you made it”

You look him in the eye to try and find an answer, “Loki, what is all this?” He guides you to sit on the blanket and blushes. “You’ve been feeling so low and I could not bear to see you like this, so I may have taken on Fandral’s form to find out how I could console you.” You raise an eyebrow at him and he shrugs with a sheepish smile on his face, “and then Thor and I traveled to Midgard and Jane gave me a key to your old home and I tried to bring you some of your valuables that might make you happy again. You used to e so cheerful and I desire to give you a feeling of elation”

You stare at him blankly. “Y/n, are you alri-”, he starts, but you cut him off with a hug, “That’s so nice of you and a little creepy, for just going through my stuff, but I know you meant well”, you take his face between your face, “but we’ll talk about this later. Now, I just want you to kiss me, my prince”

With your eyes closed you lean in and press your lips to his gently. His cold lips move with yours in sync and his hands move to your hips to pull you closer. You keep the kiss sweet and Loki sighs into the kiss eventually. “I love you, my Queen”, he whispers against your lips. You smile and open your eyes to find him looking at you. Your forehead meets his and you grin, “I love you too, my prince”

After a minute or so, Loki pulls away and takes one of your hand in his larger one and presses a kiss on your wrist, before he turns to the basket, “I hope you’re hungry, my Queen” You try to look into the basket, but Loki’s body blocks your view. After a moment he lays down a veggie lasagna that look suspiciously like your grandfather’s. You gasp and smile brightly.

“You brought my cooking books?” Loki plates two pieces and smiles, “You mentioned you missed the cuisine, so I thought you might enjoy this” You hum and kiss his cheek, “You’re the best”

You silently enjoy the food and being in your boyfriend’s company. You’re still in awe of how much Loki has done to make you feel better. After you finished, Loki takes out your great aunts cheesecake. “So… desert?”, he asks and you gape at him. He puts the cake down and takes out some of your movies, “or do you want to head inside to view one of these?” You open and close your mouth a few times before you grab the basket and look into it.

You find your play station, your Titanic poster, some of your seeds, some family photos and your pressed wool coat. “I also brought your guitar and your perfume”, Loki adds to your discovery. Tears start to pool in your eyes and you throw yourself at him and bury your face into his neck. “Thank you so much, Loki. This means a lot to me”. He hugs you to him and rubs your back softly. “Anything for you, my Queen”

You showed Loki 'The Notebook’ that evening and you both cried a little, not that Loki would admit to it, and now you’re laying on his chest and draw circles into his chest hair. “You know, seeing Jane today and hearing her talk about life back on earth, I realized that I didn’t actually miss earth. I just missed an idealized version of earth.”, you tell your boyfriend. “How do you mean?”

“I guess I started to miss Jane and then I thought about our memories which I then compared to similar things on Asgard. And I guess I just preferred things how I learned them to be, when I actually prefer Asgard. Most people here are kinder and form a community and there’s significantly less hate among the people. I feel right at home here”, you state and look to Loki to gauge his reaction. He smiles.

“I’m happy you feel that way, my queen, but why didn’t you tell me?” You sigh. “When I realized I missed earth I felt so guilty, because you do so much for me and I felt like I was disappointing you. I now realize that my feelings are valid and that I can talk to you. I’m sorry” Loki gently swipes your hair out of your face, “Hey, don’t be sorry for your feelings and acting irrationally because of them. I’ve been there before”, he says which makes you giggle.

“But seriously, please always remember you can talk to me. You are the most important person in my life and I never want to lose you”, he whispers vulnerably. “I promise I’ll talk to you in the future”, you answer and pull him down to kiss you.

“I love you, my Queen”

“I love you too, my prince”

[my-happy-little-bean]

Constellation Observations

pairing: logince (woah bean isn’t writing logicality what’s this–) warnings: mild swearing, insecurity, talks of burn out, allusions to a depressive episode words: 3456

summary: Logan begins to write a series of observations to learn more about Roman; and as he does, he grows to understand his universe (and perhaps falls in love with it too). 

a/n - somehow, reading stuff by @sign-from-god-complex inspired me to go out of my comfort zone and write some logince fluff. it’s not the most revolutionary logince content out there, but it out here :p plus i wrote this whilst lying down in my backyard again so consider this my way of giving you a piece of my good day :”) also i am still trying to figure out the next golden slumbers chapter so i needed to give my brain a break :pp

enjoy!

[read on ao3~]

---

Observation #1: Roman always picks at the grass in the Imagination, even if he is the one who grows it. Reasons for the needless destruction of his own creation remain unclear at the moment. 

-

Perhaps it was because he was exhausted beyond belief, but Logan just couldn’t stop staring at Roman. 

Logan had his notebook in his lap like he always did; though this time, he was sitting on the grass of the Imagination, not in his desk chair. It was late at night as well, maybe 2:30 AM. However, the stars in the sky flickered in a way that made Logan believe in the possibility of a timeless day.

It did not surprise Logan that he was still awake, given all the work that had to be completed. Thomas’ work schedule for the week was impacted by a rather unwelcome last-minute change, so Logan, of course, had to take a figurative evening shift.

What surprised Logan was that Roman was awake too. 

It seemed as though it was going to be a sleepless night for both of them. Roman brushed off his presence in front of the coffee machine as nothing; a mere necessity in light of the new change. Though in hindsight, Logan knew more. The shift in schedule was a result of a production issue, which meant that the idea had to be re-worked. So of course Roman would be awake.

Roman, ever so kind of him, hence decided that Logan’s presence in the kitchen was a ‘sign from the heavens’ that he needed company (when really, it was just the result of Logan needing a refill). He then brewed coffee for the both of them and invited Logan to spend the night in the Imagination. 

Logan would never admit it, but he was always intrigued by the Imagination. It was almost like Roman’s secluded workplace, separate from the Mind Palace and the rest of the sides. Not many of them ever really thought it was worth the visit; after all, they all had their own responsibilities, and the Imagination was simply Roman’s. However, Logan’s curiosity couldn’t help but lunge at any opportunity to visit; and while he knew none of it was real, he always left feeling rather awakened and alive.

So that was how he found himself sitting on a grassy hill in the Imagination, with Roman beside him, lying down on his stomach with his elbows propping him up slightly. Logan hadn’t touched his notebook in what felt like hours, only lifting it to mask a yawn. Roman, however, appeared to be busy picking at the grass below him. 

“Do you have nothing productive to be doing right now?” Logan said, breaking the silence between the two. “Thomas needs a new idea before his friends arrive in the afternoon for shooting the revised takes of his video.” A pause. Logan added hesitantly, “I believe I cannot continue without your final verdict.” 

“Aww, you can just say you need me, Erlenmeyer trash!” Roman said in a pouty voice; one that made Logan tear his eyes away from the dramatic sight. Determined to be seen, he rolled over onto Logan’s lap, flinging his hand onto his forehead. “Just say that you need me like one needs the air above – that you need me like one needs the ocean and all that it bears– Logan! Just tell me you can’t live without me!”

A beat of, quite frankly, unapproved silence. Logan just scoffed. 

“That is obviously not the case.”

Roman rolled his eyes, but kept his energy steady.

“Anyway, I’m workin’ on it!” he exclaimed defensively, yet Logan couldn’t find it in himself to believe him. After all, Roman wasn’t even looking at him. 

Instead, he rolled over to a patch of grass further away from Logan, landing in the same position as before. He then lowered himself ever-so-slightly, the grass nearly grazing his nose, before slowly plucking an individual piece of grass from the ground. 

Logan sighed. “Roman, I do not see how your inefficient gardening tactics reflect that you are ‘working on it’.”

Roman looked up at him dramatically, his eyes narrowing at him. 

“I’m rewiring his brain, Logan.”

Logan placed the blame for what happened next entirely on his sleep-deprivation. He blinked, the words registering in his mind. Roman, not breaking eye contact with Logan, then placed the single strand of grass in a patch not too far away from where it originally grew. Logan watched in some kind of twisted horror as the grass straightened in its new place, then moved in the same way the rest of the grass did. 

“Are we–” He stood up frantically, grabbing his tie. His next words come out as a hushed whisper. “Is this Thomas’...”

A wide, pearly grin. “Figuratively, Specs.”

His eyes widened, staring at the grass he once sat on. If the grass—and hence, the Imagination—was a mere representation of Thomas’ brain, that meant– well that meant he was sitting on Thomas’ mind. The breakthrough, no matter how revolutionary, was utterly horrifying. What if he had stepped on an important synapse, damaging it permanently? What if that rock he idly kicked on the way to this hill represented a part of Thomas so essential to his development? What if–

Suddenly, Roman broke into loud, hyena-esque laughter. Logan stared at him, his eyes blown wide with fear when it suddenly hit him. 

Logan took a deep breath and resumed his place on the grass slowly, adjusting his glasses. 

“Now is not the time for falsehoods.”

Roman wiped a tear that was probably just for show. “Oh come on, Oscar the Protractor-Pouch; it was really funny.”

“Not in the slightest.” 

(Logan would never admit it, but he found it a little amusing. An infinitesimal amount, some might say. At least, in its execution; not its purpose. It was because he was tired though, nothing more.)

“Besides, we needed something to wake both of us up,” Roman said, swiftly rolling back to Logan’s side. He softly bumped against Logan’s knee. 

It was flawed logic, but Logan could appreciate that the logic was at least there. 

Logan lifted his pencil from his ear to resume writing—or at least, to resume his attempts at writing—then paused. 

“What were you doing, then?” he asked, looking down at Roman. He shrugged.

“I noticed some grass that was out of place.”

He said that as if it were obvious. 

Logan continued to stare at Roman, who was still picking at grass absentmindedly. He stared at Roman while he bouncing some possible ideas off of him. And while Logan contributed a great deal to their conversation, he couldn’t quite focus on anything else other than the clear image of Roman.

Roman, whose creation was so vast yet so meticulous; whose attention to detail was almost too impressive to be true. Roman, his companion with a work attitude and ethic that bewildered Logan to great extents. Roman, who worked so hard for so long on a job Logan dismissed as something that could be done in one’s sleep. Roman who, Logan suddenly realized, didn’t sleep much at all. 

And that was when Logan truly saw Roman for the first time, under the stars and on the carefully-crafted grass of the Imagination.

So, naturally, he wrote the observation down in his notebook to possibly revisit later.

---

Observation #12: When Roman is upset, he runs his hand through his hair; and he does so as if no one else could notice.

-

“You are not listening to me, Roman.” 

“Uh, I don’t think I like what you’re saying, which means I’m probably wasting some brain cells listening to you, Sir-Nerds-A-Lot!”

“That is not my name. And that is not how brain cells work. You would know that if you were actually listening to me.”

Roman huffed, running a hand through his hair. He threw his head back, as if motioning at the ceiling to come watch yet another one of their disagreements unfold. 

As much as he didn’t bother himself with feeling, Logan couldn’t help but feel bad for Thomas, who was standing helplessly in between their quarrel. It was always like this when it was just the two of them; Virgil nor Patton being present to mediate the situation. 

He could possibly stretch this illogical guilt to Roman as well. He had not meant to anger the other side, but he just couldn’t help it. He was frustrated with his behaviour, how he was talking as if he– and hence, Thomas– were invincible. It was reckless, it was foolish, it was...well, stupid.

Still, Logan knew now where the figurative line had to be drawn. It didn’t take many arguments with Roman for him to recognize when his anger reached a point that was impossible to work with.

Logan took a deep breath, adjusting his tie. 

“Okay. I see now that we are at a figurative crossroad with this discussion,” he said as cooly as he could. “Perhaps we should take a break.”

Thomas blew out a sigh of relief, throwing his hands up in the air. 

“Thank you!” he cried out, already moving past Logan and towards the kitchen. “I’m gonna get a glass of water.”

“Yes, yes.” Logan noted the way Roman scrambled to pick up his own sanity as he spoke. “Let’s all take five.” He eyed Logan. “Even dunces need breaks between their...their dunce-ing.” 

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, letting a bit of his own frustration slip. 

“You are one to talk.”

Roman tilted his head at him. “Oh really?” 

Shit. Logan pushed his glasses up, trying to maintain his composure. 

“You are burned out, Roman,” Logan carefully said. “That is to say, you have overworked yourself not only in this conversation, but in your work in general. Therefore, it is not illogical to conclude that your burn-out is one possible reason why you are lashing out at me.”

Roman’s eyes went wide. “What are you–”

“Which is why we can resume talking about this matter at a later date. After all, you are not thinking logically. You are dismissing Thomas’ well-being for the sake of work, you are stressing him out to immeasurable extents — this isn’t you.”

“What do you know about me?!”

Logan blinked. Roman looked as if he was frozen in time, still lunged forward at him. Despite the distance, Logan could see the darkened rings under his eyes.

He didn’t answer Roman’s question for a while. It was most likely rhetorical, but even if it wasn’t, he didn’t know how to respond. After all, twelve recorded observations and a whole lifetime with Roman didn’t help Logan truly understand him.

But as he stared at Roman, who was surely close to tears, he couldn’t shake the familiar pang in his chest. 

Through the glassy space between them was a reflection.

“I know myself,” Logan responded quietly. “It’s...it’s not good for anyone, Roman.”

It was quiet between them for a while. Roman drew himself back slowly, as if burnt by his words; and for a split second, Logan feared he had said the wrong thing. 

Then, Roman wordlessly nodded at him. His stare burrowing through him like a bullet through a mirror. Before Logan could say anything else, he sunk out before Thomas returned, leaving Logan to conclude their discussion alone. His fear faded into a slight buzz in his chest.

(His tripedations were later reassured when he found Roman sleeping in front of the TV in the Mind Palace, Moana playing hazily in the background. 

Logan sat beside him, stared at him for a bit, and then pulled out his notebook. He wrote something about the way Roman slept—peaceful, despite the storm behind his eyelids—before slowly nodding off as well.)

---

Observation #56: When Roman sings to Virgil, he does so by changing the song to fit a minor key. To Patton, he mostly sings him songs in C major. To himself, it varies. Perhaps he’s just practicing.

-

It was a hard day for Logan, and it was a long day for anyone else. When logic ran itself thin, there wasn’t much for Thomas to do other than wallow alone in his bed. 

Logan felt Virgil and Patton on his skin all day, clouding his logical reasoning until it was barely there. It made Logan feel stupid and helpless; like he was some kind of joke.

On days like this, Roman was surprisingly the figurative glue of the group. He would visit Virgil’s room first and listen to his worries, helping him channel his emotions into poetry and songs. Then, he’d bring Patton cookies and watch home-videos with him until Patton felt comfortable moving on. 

And Logan wasn’t sure why Roman bothered to visit him, but he did.

They couldn’t say much in Logan’s room, so they played along with the unspoken laws of his space and thought quietly to themselves instead. Roman was the only other side who understood why Logan’s room was mostly quiet; or at least was the only one to accept it. When no one talked, there was the smallest amount of room for subjectivity of any sorts.

Logan liked to think Roman found the idea clever; but judging by the way Roman looked at him with those eyes resembling that of a small puppy, Logan realized that he just found it sad.

Still, Logan’s room seemed to accept Roman’s classical music. 

(So did Logan.)

At one point, Roman nudged his head to the bookshelf in Logan’s room, seemingly asking for a recommendation. The two leave his room with a few books in hand and smiles bigger than they initially were; Roman’s brighter, and Logan’s now there.

They make their way to the Imagination where Logan now spent a lot of his free time. Roman didn’t even need to extend an invitation anymore; all he had to do was stand in Logan’s doorway and nod at him. Then, Logan would conjure up a new notebook and follow suit. 

(Logan found it strange how Roman didn’t notice the piles of notebooks labelled ‘Observations of the Imagination’. Or if he did, he made an effort not to pay attention to that corner of the room.)

(Logan was also relieved he kept his own personal notebook close, yet out of sight.)

It was halfway through Roman’s dramatic reading of “A Brief History of Time” when Logan broke into sobs. It was spontaneous and cruel that the tears couldn’t will themselves out of existence– that they even existed in the first place– but Roman didn’t seem to mind. 

He didn’t mind how Logan ranted about how illogical it was that he was crying, or how illogical it was that Thomas felt like he had nothing when he had everything. He didn’t mind how Logan cursed at himself for two minutes straight in an indecipherable mess of the English language. He didn’t mind that Logan called himself ‘faulty’ and ‘broken’ (but he did frown sadly).

And he didn’t mind when Logan laid his head on his shoulder, so drained from the sudden burst of emotion that he couldn’t lift himself up anymore.

“You need to do that more, Specs,” he murmured when enough silence had passed. He took Logan’s hand into his own and rubbed it gently with his thumb. 

“Do what more?” Logan scoffed, his voice hoarse from the strain. “Talk illogically?”

Roman laughed, pressing a kiss to Logan’s hair. 

“Please.” Logan’s breath hitched at the sincerity. “I promise I’ll try to listen.”

Neither of them mentioned the kiss for the rest of the night because Roman started singing before Logan even had the chance to question its occurrence.

And when Roman sang to Logan, the key didn’t matter at all. 

What mattered more was the sound. It couldn’t be contained by terminology, but rather by how it danced in the air that hung above them before it was carried off by the wind. His voice ran across his skin through goosebumps, as if someone wrapped Logan in velvet sheets. It sifted seamlessly through each verse, smooth as caramel and filled with its sweet, sugary taste.

Roman cared for the song just as much as he cared for his creation. He picked at each note like a strand of grass, as if carefully pressing them into imaginary sheet music in the dirt.

Logan would never be able to find the words because he kept going back to the same one:

Beautiful,  beautiful,  beautiful.

And for a split second, the clouds in his mind parted, and the conclusion he reached seemed crystal clear. 

Roman was beautiful.

---

Observation #92: It has been decided that these observations no longer apply to a person, but rather to a constellation. Evidence for this conclusion can be found in the freckles around his nose; or in his bright, shiny smile; or in the fact that his spirit, if those were to exist, simply housed a million, trillion stars – an entire universe, one might say. 

At least, that is what it feels like nowadays.

-

Logan only understood love once he understood Roman. 

Roman was fire, burning and warm. At one point, Logan had no problem describing Roman as his own personal hell – though at this point, that conclusion wasn’t even that far off.

Because it hurt sometimes to look at Roman; to see him laugh with the others in a dazzling display of light and sound. It hurt to see him surrounded by love Logan wasn’t able to pick apart and understand, let alone reflect. 

He wasn’t broken. Roman made him understand that all too well. 

But he was incomplete; and it didn’t take long for Logan to realize what he was missing.

There was a hypothetical theory called space dementia; where astronauts in orbit become so entranced by the immense vastness of space that they grow obsessed with its beauty. 

And while there wasn’t much research done on the subject, Logan knew that his heart pulled towards the sight of Roman.

Roman was unlike anything Logan had ever seen or felt before. He was a million stars all wrapped up in a cluster in his chest, a vessel for something far more beautiful than this world deserved. 

Perhaps that was why he held himself so tightly on the nights they would spend sleeping in the Imagination together (Observation #45). Perhaps it was because he was holding onto that cluster so tight; tight enough that no stars would escape. After all, the tiniest of disturbances would cause the whole universe to fall apart. He was as delicate as the velvet skies they laid under, yet burned so brightly when given the chance.

And when Roman showed him even a glimpse of his creation, Logan was, for lack of a better word, star-struck. 

The piece Logan was missing took the form of a star, its edges worn and old as time itself. And it shot itself across the sky every night, as if flinging itself in their direction.

There was no set definition for what it was because Roman changed it every day. However, the idea remained the same.

Logan was missing Roman’s love. 

“How long have you known?” Roman whispered as they stood on their hill, the Imagination stretching far beyond them.

“I do not know,” Logan replied, though the word ‘forever’ rests on his tongue. He took a step forward and grabbed Roman’s hands. “But I came to my realizations not too long ago. I decided that it would be illogical for me to hide this information from you, so I have decided to tell you now. I hope this does not change things.” A pause. “At least, changes them negatively.”

“Logan…” Roman’s eyes looked so soft. It made Logan’s heart ache and made him vow to love Roman as passionately as he could, if given the chance.

“I know it does not make much sense that I can harbour such a feeling but I...I do.” He mustered up a smile. “I love you.”

“You can feel, nerd,” Roman giggled, taking a step closer towards Logan as well. His forehead pressed against his, and the tips of their noses grazed each other’s. 

He was so close. Logan’s skin caught on fire as Roman cupped his cheek, his other arm holding him tightly around his waist. 

“I love how you feel,” Roman murmured. Logan’s breath hitched at the words. “And I love you too.”

-

Observation #93: There will never truly be enough words capable of describing the feeling of kissing Roman. But one thing is for certain.

He is air and he is light, and he is the missing piece.

After all, his lips fit almost perfectly. 

(Though further experimentation is necessary in order to reach a solid conclusion.)

---

click here for a new and improved masterlist of all my writing if you’re interested ^v^

[onestowatch]

The Best Anime to Watch If You Love Music

Quarantine has brought with it an unprecedented amount of free time. And with all those extra hours in the day, people have turned to making exorbitant amounts of bread and turning up their thermostats to get the most out of their online hot yoga classes. What have I been doing instead of learning a hobby or terraforming my Animal Crossing island you ask? Well, binge-watching anime of course.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Japanese animation genre, it is cool now I guess? Everyone from Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Michael B. Jordan, and more have expressed their love for anime at one point or another. Luxury fashion brand Coach even has a collection inspired by the world of Naruto and the aforementioned Jordan. 

With Hollywood making live adaptations of cult anime to Hulu and Netflix realizing the potential of investing in original anime and simulcasts, it has never been a better time to be an anime fan. Especially an anime fan who also loves music. So, whether you’re a seasoned binge-watching fansub veteran or a newcomer to the genre, these are the best to anime to watch if you love music. 

FLCL

In all honest disclosure, FLCL may have been the very first anime I ever watched. And yet, the soundtrack is still one I find myself coming back to all these years later. Containing one of the best soundtracks of any anime to date–thanks to the pillows–the surreal six-episode sci-fi coming-of-age story is a shining example of anime's inherent ability to tell out-of-this-world stories, while still finding the space to explore the humdrum realities associated with growing up. 

Regularly aired as a marathon on Adult Swim’s Toonami in the early 2000s, FLCL revolves around 12-year-old Naota Nandaba, who is suddenly hit in the head by a vintage blue Rickenbacker 4001 bass guitar. Thus, kicks off our story of robots, aliens, shady corporations plotting to destroy the world from a small countryside town, and growing up. The entire ludicrous affair is scored by Japanese indie rock band the pillows, who deliver a performance you will not be forgetting any time soon.

Watch on Hulu

Carole & Tuesday

Carole & Tuesday may not just be the best music-related anime I’ve ever seen, but the best music-related show I’ve ever seen, period. Directed by the legendary Shinichirō Watanabe, the man responsible for Cowboy Bebop and Samurai Champloo (more on that in a moment) Carole & Tuesday tells the story of the titular duo striving to make music in a near-future where nearly all music is created by artificial intelligence.

The breathtaking beauty of Carole & Tuesday lies in how much care and attention was taken to both the world of the show itself and the music that brings it all to life. From nods to Pitchfork, SXSW, and Vogue’s 73 Questions series to fully-produced tracks that span genres ranging from French pop, EDM, neo soul, trap opera, and everywhere in between, never before has a show so expertly captured the vast spectrum that is music appreciation. 

Watch on Netflix

Samurai Champloo

Arguably, no anime has been more influential on today’s music landscape than the lofi hip-hop musings of Samurai Champloo. Another Watanabe classic, it almost pains me not to mention the blues and jazz stylings that scored his space western epic Cowboy Bebop. However, the soundtrack done by Tsutchie, Fat Jon, Force of Nature, and the late Nujabes informed a generation of kids that stayed up watching Adult Swim and would later go on to host and frequent 24/7 lofi hip-hop YouTube live streams.

The story itself tells the story of a young girl named Fuu and two samurai, Mugen and Jin, who set across feudal Japan in an attempt to find the “samurai who smells of sunflowers.” The critically-acclaimed series revels in mixing genres, from the occasional Western sports drama to horror, all set to an anachronistic hip-hop backdrop that never falters.

Watch on Hulu

Kids on the Slope

If Watanabe is a name you are not readily familiar with by now, well, friend, you are missing out. Directed by none other than Watanabe, Kids on the Slope tells a coming-of-age story wrapped up in drama, self-discovery, and most notably, jazz.

Set in 1966 Japan, Kids on the Slope follows Kaoru Nishimi, who, due to his father’s job situation, moves to the small seaside town of Sasebo. A typical honor student, it is not until he sparks up a connection with notorious delinquent Sentarō Kawabuchi that he finds an escape in the free-form and rebellious nature of jazz. Featuring renditions of Chet Baker, Duke Ellington, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone, Bill Evans, John Coltrane, and more, Kids on the Slope is a crash course in the empathic power of jazz. 

Watch on Crunchyroll

Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad

Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad is the story of up-and-coming rock band Beck. While not the Beck of “Odelay” fame, the 2005 cult anime is an engaging look at the trials and tribulations of an indie band trying to make it big stateside.

Built around a pronounced interest in Western rock music, the series sees our main character, “Koyuki,” going from learning complex chords, playing small festival stages, to carve out his own path while touring across the United States. As much a story about finding your place in the world through music as it a story of the harsh realities it often takes to fulfills your dreams, Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad is a bittersweet ode to those small moments where all your hard work falls into place.

Your Lie in April

If classical music is more you fare, Your Lie in April is the show for you. The romantic coming-of-age drama revolves around piano prodigy Kōsei Arima, violinist Kaori Miyazono, and their group of friends. The story of Arima, a once award-winning child prodigy, rediscovering the love and pain of the creative passion he abandoned strikes an emotional chord, whether or not you’re a particularly huge fan of classical music.

Told through eye-catching pastels and breathtaking violin-accompanied piano feats, Your Lie in April is a tried-and-true teen drama. One that is poised to leave you teary-eyed, even if the only classical composers you know are Beethoven and Mozart.

Watch on Netflix

K-On!

K-On captures the thrill of wanting to form a band with your friends in such straightforward fashion that it is little surprise the show was an instant breakout hit in Japan. The lighthearted slice-of-life show follows four high school girls who join their light music club in the hopes of saving it from disbanding.

The series captures every middle and high school dream of forming your first rock band with friends, from picking out your first guitar, spending countless hours learning how to play, to performing live for the first time at the school talent show. Well in this case, the cultural festival. K-On! is the perfect bit of bite-sized of escapism and nostalgia scored by some genuinely great J-rock and J-pop. 

Watch on Netflix or Hulu

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Raven”

Y/N is a very unusual metahuman that can use her powerful abilities just once before being turned into a Raven forever; that’s why it’s really strange she decided to sacrifice herself in order to save The Joker’s life. But there’s a reason for everything and maybe the unbreakable curse is nothing more than a blessing in disguise.

“It doesn’t look good,” you hover over The Joker, analyzing the gunshot wound that keeps on bleeding through his green shirt.

“It’s not bad,” he growls, pressing his abdomen.

“Where are you, prick?” someone yells and the echo carries over the words around the abandoned building.

“Do you believe you can escape?” another voice resonates in the vast premises.

“Tick-Tock, Clown!” another man howls in the quietness, certain The King of Gotham has no escape.

“Fuck…,” J tries to get up but he slides back down against the wall.

“I think it’s pretty bad,” you state the obvious. “You’re injured, out of bullets and they are near: your crew won’t find you in time.”

“Shit…,” he groans in pain, the throbbing ache intensifying with each passing moment.

“I’m gonna help you,” Y/N shares her scheme and although the news should make him happy, it doesn’t.

“W-what do you mean?!” The Joker stutters even if he knows the implications of such statement. You’re quiet and he continues: “Why would you do something like that?...”

You smile at his bafflement, the affirmation completely surprising him:

“Because you’re the only one that never asked.”

“You shouldn’t use it on me!” J’s truthful reply is interrupted by the henchmen entering the desolated space where the fallen Prince of Crime has found refuge. “Who am I supposed to talk to if you’re gone?” the genuine question makes you realize there’s actually a soul in this world who’ll miss you.

“We didn’t really talk too much,” you softly chuckle and turn to confront the men halted in their tracks seeing you’re positioned in front of The Joker.

“The freak is here,” a goon whispers loud enough to be heard by the ones arriving behind him.

“Hey Y/N!” their leader detaches from the crowd. “What are you doing here?!”

The lack of an answer combined with the feral expression on your face prompts the mobster to wave his pistol as a sign for truce.

“Let’s not do anything hasty, shall we?... …. Hm?... I’m aware you had so many offers over the years; consider mine again: if you wield your powers to finish the green haired asshole, I will triple the amount of money from the highest bidder!”

You scoff at the absurd idea, describing how stupid you considered the monetary proposals suggested by numerous individuals in the past:

“And what am I supposed to do with the riches once I cease to exist?!”

A bullet shrieks by your ear, ending up in the wall behind where J collapsed a couple of minutes ago.

“Sorry I missed, boss!” the man apologizes and this is enough to set you off; you turn your head to gaze at The Joker, delivering a last warning.

“Close your eyes or you’ll go blind!”

“Don’t let her clap her hands!” the kingpin shouts but it’s too late: a deafening bang fills up the air and the strong light emanating from your body burns J’s closed eyelids. He covers his face with bloody fingers while the screams and smell of torched flesh makes him nauseated; it’s so disgusting he gags yet the insane King can’t help a smirk at the sweet victory, even if comes  with such a heavy price.

Gurgling noises and muffled cries persist for another 15 seconds before they abruptly halt.

“Meet me in dreams,” is Y/N’s final sentence and immediately after the sound of flapping wings queue The Joker to finally open his eyes.

The view is cringe worthy: puddles of steamy, boiling tar scattered all around bearing witness to the consequences of your rage: nobody’s alive anymore except J and the Raven picking at the clothes you wore earlier.

His cell phone goes off and he has difficulty searching the purple jacket for the item he has no need for.

“Sir! We’re coming! Almost on the 32nd street!” Frost reports in a frenzy and The Joker sneers, wheezing from the effort of trying to stay awake.

“Nice timing,” and he hangs up, muttering to himself: ’”Goddamned jerks…”

The bird suddenly flies in his lap, curiously checking him out.

“I think I’m gonna pass out…” the damaged Clown slowly blinks before losing conscience which is alright since he had to speak to you anyway.

Every time you meet in dreams, you are always waiting for him on this deserted, calm beach staring at the waves in the distance. Today is not different.

He takes a sit by the woman that saved his life, silently analyzing her features: The Joker knows he won’t see them again except in this place.

When you said you didn’t speak much, it was true; if he tries to remember the first instance you showed up in his life, the moment blurs out and disappears in the background of his troubled mind. You would just randomly pop up while he was alone, keeping each other company for hours and often barely uttering a sentence. The eerie Y/N preferred J’s presence simply due to his lack of interest in her unusual power and he tolerated her because she never sought any kind of reward from their awkward connection. In the matter of fact, J never even tried to touch you; it was relaxing to be with an individual that plainly didn’t want anything from you whilst the rest of the world begged for attention: how many requested you aid them and manipulate your ability in order to annihilate their enemies? How many promised compensations beyond measure in exchange of your mighty gift? Way too many.

Yet The Joker didn’t care about it; the most he would do was to share his favorite drink after a new brand of grape juice hit the market.

And now the person he shared with was gone forever.

“Your team is almost at the warehouse,” you address him, bending your knees until your chin touches them. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.”

“I’m not worried,” J indifferently replies. “Told you it’s not serious.”

You snicker at his stubbornness, pointing out the evident reality:

“That’s why you fainted and started to dream about me?”

Your escort huffs, struggling to confess stuff hard to articulate in these circumstances.

“Thank you for…umm…for…”

“You don’t have to thank me; it was my choice and I fulfilled my destiny. It’s over and I’m free. I’ll still visit, ok?”

“Mister Joker! Sir, can you hear me?” Frost’s voice interrupts J’s dream: the gang is searching the deserted property for their leader and the only thing he notices is The Raven flying in circles above his head.

***********

Three weeks later, 9:37pm

The Joker extends his arm and you land on it, gently digging your claws in his skin for equilibrium.

“Where were you all day?!” he scolds and you caw, evoking complaints from the man that can’t sleep without his bird. “I wish you were a nightingale, this way you can chirp some cute songs.”

You fly on his shoulder to peck at the diamond earring, annoyed at his remark.

“Ouch! Ouch!” he shrugs, but doesn’t chase you away. “I recognize crows appreciate shiny things, but it hurts.”

Poking escalates and J vaguely apologizes on his own terms:

“I meant Raven! Raven!!” he repeats and struts inside The Penthouse where your pillow awaits. “Are you hungry?” the Prince of Crime offers a bunch of crumbs and expensive seeds he ordered for the spunky pest. You hop on the nightstand and play with the food, not particularly captivated by the lavish feast.

The Joker rolls in bed, gesturing for the pillow next to him.

“My girlfriend’s out of town, you can crush on her side of bed,” the affirmation makes you float to her cushion, instantly plucking the fabric with your beak, then jump up and down, cawing some more.

The Clown laughs, entertained at the temper tantrum.

“I know you don’t like her and the feeling is mutual,” he caresses the soft, black feathers as you continue to shred Lara’s pillow. “Stoooop! These are fresh sheets!” he pleads and distracts you by showing his patched up abdomen from under the t-shirt. “Look, my lesion is healing; wanna see?” a corner of the bandage is peeled for the guest to properly inspect the stitches.

Y/N bounces on The Joker’s chest, cautiously examining his wound.

“Cool, huh?” he grins and reaches his hand for the book resting under his pillow, surprisingly enough containing your favorite poem. “The Raven. By Edgar Allan Poe,” J emphasizes and you spread your wings with delight, quickly rushing to his neck and cuddle against the playing cards tattoo.

The King of Gotham holds the book with one hand and pets you with the other, his husky tone recites the verses you love so much.

“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary…” the beautiful, dark rhyme soothes a tired Y/N scarcely recalling what it means to be human.

Yet being near HIM reminds her on how much she longs for what was lost when she willingly sacrificed herself to save the one that didn’t ask to be saved.

*************

Following morning, 8:21 am

The Joker is swimming outside on the terrace and you’re having a blast in the inflatable pool he set by his lounge chair for the enchanted, feathered companion. This is a thousand times extra enjoyable when his new girlfriend is not home!

She’s a complete nutcase, totally obsessed with The Clown and certainly doesn’t understand why he’s paying so much attention to a filthy, gross creature.

Who the hell gets a crow as pet?! Apparently her boyfriend, although he didn’t tell her who you truly are. Why bother? It’s a secret you and J share; nobody has to find out, although plenty of concerned parties would spend a fortune for an update: Y/N hasn’t been spotted recently and it’s troublesome.

“Raven Queen!” J emerges from the pool since he has to take it easy; the doctor said no more than 15 minutes of physical activity every day. “I have a little present,” he yanks at the towel on the lounge chair, unraveling a box full of gold rings, Rolexes and chains under it.

Oh my God, so shiny and sparkly in the morning sun!!!

You fly from your pool straight into the container, happily tapping at the treasures. The Joker dries his body and chitchats with his bird, excited you enjoy the shimmering gems.

“You can steal them and hide them,” he winks and you sure are taking advantage of it as soon as possible. “Do you have a nest?” J inquires and teases afterwards: “Did you find yourself a Raven King?”

That’s pretty rude, you think and swiftly attack him, careful not to scratch his face in the process.

“Cut it out!” The Joker demands and gives up the fight really fast. ”OK, OK, I surrender!” he chuckles as you rise up, gliding in the wind gushing above The Penthouse. The plan is simple: charge at the toxic green locks and pull on the strands, assuring at least two or three hairs will be removed as revenge.  J takes a defensive stance, preparing to catch and keep you captive in the fluffy towel until you calm down.

BANG! the gunshot halts the fun and The Clown Prince of crime watches in horror as The Raven falls to the ground in front of his girlfriend.

“Babe, are you alright?” Lara squeals, kicking the bird at her feet. “I told you having a wild animal as pet it’s an awful idea! I saw the crazy bird attacked you, it might have rabies!!” she kicks you again and the small body convulsing on the hard concrete makes him lose his marbles. “Thank heavens I returned sooner than expected,” the woman explains, nervous to detect the angry Joker stomping towards her.

“What the fuck are you doing??!!” he screams and violently pushes her, slapping the gun out of her hand. Lara stumbles on her own steps, not comprehending why her partner is livid rather than showing gratitude.

“What do you mean?” she gulps and J bends over to pick you up when you let out a cry, the sinister noise resembling a human’s wailing. “The bird was attacking you, I was afraid!”

“It wasn’t attacking me, we were messing around!”

“Messing around?!” the woman mumbles, confused.

“Get a hold of Frost and tell him I need a veterinarian! NOW!!!” The Joker barks as he enters The Penthouse.

“Jesus…,” Lara sniffles and texts, irritated at his behavior. “Why is he so mad about?! The dumb beast is nothing but an outbreak of infection and bacteria!” she maliciously grumbles, sending the message to Jonny.

Something whooshes by her and before she has a chance to see what it is, a bunch of ravens and crows unexpectedly storm at the petrified Lara: they are answering your call, mercilessly tearing and scraping at the enemy.

“J!!! J!!!!” she runs without noticing where she’s going, panicked at the multitude of birds relentlessly chasing her; it’s a miracle she stumbles upon the tiny shed which stores pool supplies and manages to squeeze inside.  

The birds keep on bombarding her temporary hideout as she begs for assistance:

“J !!! J !!!! Please help me!!! J!!!!”

Yet The Joker can’t hear: he raced upstairs to the master bedroom and placed you on the comforter, trying to assess how severe the injuries are; one of the wings is bleeding and there are probably broken bones also.

“Don’t die…” J whispers because it sure seems Y/N is fading away: the bird can barely breathe and for the first time in ages he feels sad. “If you leave, we won’t be able to meet in dreams…”

The King of Gotham crawls in bed, unsure if he should caress you or not; what if he dislocates something else by accident? Instead he kisses the top of your head, the velvety feathers tickling his lips.

The sudden glow radiating from The Raven makes him close his eyes tight: it’s so strong it burns just like when you used your powers to rescue him. It doesn’t last longer than 10 seconds and sensing the light dimmed, J decides to open his eyes. A few black quills still drift in the air and he glares at the tearful Y/N, shocked to see her:

“Everything hurts,” you start sobbing and the bloody arm, plus the bruised torso urge him to cover your naked body with the corner of the quilt. “H-how am I h-here?!” you stammer and grab his thumb while The Joker is in a trance, speechless at the witnessed phenomenon because it’s impossible to come up with a logical reasoning.

Such a shame neither of you realize that even affection coming from a rotten heart can be pure enough to shatter an unbreakable curse.  

 Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me in AO3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho. 

[helloalycia]

the stars // carol danvers

summary: you’ve always loved the stars, but you’d never pictured yourself falling love with the woman who fell from them. 

warning/s: none.

author’s note: I wrote this at like 2am and I'm on my period and I was all up in my feels, listening to 'wide awake' by Katy Perry as you do, so this may be a lil mushy - also whY am I so single ugh

masterlist

         "Look! There's another! And another! And another! And–"

        "And another, yes, dear," my mum laughed. "It's the sky. It's covered in stars."

        I didn't tear my eyes from the night sky, not even for a second. I was mesmerised, a grin on my lips as I took in the vastness of it all. It was endless and my eyes couldn't keep up with star after star after star.

        "I want to be up there," I whispered.

        "Maybe one day," my mum said, squeezing my hand.

        We were both laying down, side by side, in the garden grass.

        "Do you think there's aliens up there?" I asked, my mind racing with possibilities "Staring up at the sky like us? Or maybe even looking down from there at us?"

        My mum hummed with thought. "There could be. Would you like that, Y/N?"

        I finally looked her way, eyes wide with excitement. "Yes."

        She chuckled, watching me look back up at the sky with awe. I just couldn't get over it. The sky looked like a blanket, dotted with glitter. Except it was a whole other part of the universe. It was infinite. And I was so small in that infinity, yet that didn't bother me. It warmed my heart to the core.

        "I hope there's someone out there," I mumbled, mostly to myself. "It would be an awful waste if there wasn't."

***

        I'd spent all of my life being in love with the stars. Spending most nights looking up at them if they were visible, whether that be laying outside in the grass or looking out my window. All these years later, now an adult, and I still found myself in a state of awe when I looked up and saw the endless blanket of stars above. I was speechless every time, feeling like anything I said in appreciation just wouldn't suffice.

        Spending my life loving the stars never prepared me for falling in love with someone who fell from the stars. Carol Danvers was her name, and even though she was technically born on Earth, she'd lived amongst the stars for quite some time.

        She was beautiful, a star herself. With sparkling brown eyes and blonde curls, she seemed like an average human. But then she would glow and shoot photon blasts from her hands, showing the difference between her and I. She was powerful, a god amongst mortals, myself included. And yet, she made me feel like the most important person alive.

        Her smile, brighter than any star in the sky, would send my stomach into a frenzy. Her touch, warmer than any photon blast she could create, sent shivers all over my body. Her touch, more comforting than any universe could allow, made me melt in her arms. I loved her. It just happened to be a plus that she was from up above, where my first love truly began.

        We were outside, laying in the grass and looking up at the sky as I had done many times. I tried to take in the infinite amount of starts twinkling up above, but as usual, it left me speechless and in awe of its beauty.

        "You know, when I was a kid, I always liked to think there was someone out there, looking back down at us at this very moment," I said to Carol, my eyes still glued to the stars.

        I could see her turn her head to look at me in my peripheral. She was grinning.

        "You were right," she said, intertwining our fingers.

        I breathed out contently. "Yeah... it's amazing... actually, it's better than amazing. I can't even find the right words. It's just... wow."

        I admired the beauty before me. Knowing there was life out there amazed me further. We weren't alone, as I figured. There was loads more to discover out there, loads more people with their own lives and experiences and history. Wow.

        "You're so lucky to have been up there," I said, before biting my lip and finally looking to Carol with a mildly guilty expression. "Not that I'm condoning what happened to you, of course. That was horrible what they did to you. I'm just trying to say–"

        "I get it, it's fine," she cut me off, her smile still on her lips as she met my gaze with her warm brown eyes. "I've learnt to accept what happened to me. And part of that acceptance is appreciation, such as being able to appreciate being up there. You're right."

        I smiled with embarrassment, nodding slowly. She laughed as I looked back up to the sky.

        After a few minutes, I could still feel her gaze on me, making me nervous.

        "The stars are up there," I teased her, though I knew my cheeks were flaming hot with embarrassing.

        She merely shrugged, still not looking away from me, or losing her smile. "You're right."

        I quirked an eyebrow at her, but before I could respond, I found myself suddenly being hit with a gust of wind and being held tightly by Carol. We weren't laying down anymore – she was carrying me, holding my waist securely as I–

        "Carol! What the hell?!" I screamed, tightening my grip on her shirt as I hugged her with a slight panic. We were flying!

        I heard her laugh as she continued to fly, with me holding her for dear life, quite literally. I knew she could fly and it was amazing, but never had I flown with her. Was this even safe?!

        Her flying slowed down to an eventual halt as we were many, many, many feet off the ground – our house was almost a small blob on the ground now.

        "Look up, Y/N," she said in my ear.

        I swallowed hard, my eyes glued to the ground. "Erm..."

        I felt her kiss my neck before she said, "I've got you. You trust me, right?"

        I nodded into her shoulder, finding the strength to untuck myself from her neck. It was a strange feeling, not having something solid beneath my feet, but I knew Carol wouldn't let go of me. She had me.

        I kept one arm around her shoulder as the other held one of her hands, her other hand wrapped securely around my waist. She was very strong, I knew that, but it didn't hit me just how strong until I realised she was holding me in the air and I felt like I was floating.

        I found the courage to look up, my eyes meeting hers, and she was smiling with adoration. She motioned upwards and I took a deep breath before looking up.

        I almost forgot how to breathe when I saw the stars. As always, I was taken aback by its beauty, but this felt different somehow. There were no buildings or trees to cover parts of the sky. No, up here it was one expansive, never-ending blanket of stars that shone above us. I was amazed.

        "You like it?" Carol asked quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

        I grinned, nodding. "Carol..."

        I couldn't find the words. I was simply amazed. The Earth was too good for us. The universe was too good for us. All I knew was I could die right now and die a happy woman.

        "Thank you," I said, managing to tear myself from the sky to look at Carol. She was smiling at me, making me cheeks go warm. "I... you're amazing."

        She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips. Her grip on my waist tightened as she pulled me closer, making my stomach do somersaults at her touch.

        She pulled away, leaving me more breathless than any star ever could.

        "You deserve the universe," she told me with the utmost sincerity. "The least I could give you is the stars."

        I found myself unable to stop smiling.

        "I hate you for making me cry like an idiot," I said, feeling tears well up uncontrollably.

        She chuckled, kissing my forehead. "I love you, too."

        I leaned my head in the crook of her neck, wrapping both arms around her waist comfortably. We stayed up there that evening, I wasn't sure for how long, but I did know that once again, I was speechless by the view before me.

        And I wasn't talking about the stars.

[kaceyrps]

peter/mj: ☁

☁  five times my muse has thought about yours, and the one time they do something about it. @billeypiper

1st time 

As it turns out, May never did kill him when she found out he was Spiderman. What she did do however was ground him. Apparently saving the neighborhood, is not a good enough reason to risk your life, and it’s even less of a good reason to not listen to your guardian. So Peter Parker got grounded for three weeks. One week for lying to May, one for cutting class and sneaking out and one for making her worry. He’d tried to argue the second and third were really the same thing since those were the reasons she’d been worried, until she’d threatened to up it to four weeks and he retreated. Spiderman was grounded until she could ‘make sure that suit kept him safe’ and now also had a curfew. All of which lead him to sitting beside May on the couch on a Friday night tossing popcorn into his mouth as his aunt scrolled through Netflix for something to watch. “Oh! MJ says that’s good and I had to watch it. Probably means it’s dark and a little twisted but… Good.” He piped up seeing the title of the documentary MJ had spent their lunch break telling him about. Considering school was the only time he got to talk to his friends at that point, and ever since ‘my friends call me MJ’ he’d been making more of an effort to talk to her at school. Well, he had at the start, at that point he decided he liked talking to her just as much as he liked talking to Ned. “MJ? Is this someone else from your ‘superhero’ life?” It was meant as a joke, but he knew May well enough to hear the hurt still in her voice that he’d lied to her. The problem was, he was too confused to comment on it. “What? No! You know MJ, you’ve met MJ.” Turning to face her, he looked at her as if she’d suddenly grown an extra head. Peter didn’t exactly have a vast amount of friends, so his aunt had heard him talk about the few people he would call his friends. “You know the girl who sits with Ned and I at lunch? Got captain of the decathlon team when  Liz left? Insanely smart, always has a book, how is this not…” He’d been about to say ‘how is this not registering’ when he suddenly realised one thing he had forgotten to tell her. “Michelle! MJ’s Michelle, she told us to call her MJ now.” Not exactly what she’d said, but he wasn’t going to say the girl he’d considered a friend for months apparently just upgraded him to friend. “I just remembered her recommending it when we were eating lunch today. She has pretty cool taste you know? So I thought it’d be good to watch. If there’s nothing else.” He shrugged, sinking back into the couch – throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth to cover the smile as his aunt put the documentary on, knowing on Monday he’d have something to spend that lunch break debating with MJ over. He’d just text Ned and tell him to watch it too so he wouldn’t be left out.

2nd time

It was his last day of detention, as such he should have felt glad once he stepped foot in the room knowing it would be the last time. Instead, he was hit with a sudden worry – MJ wasn’t there. Of course, MJ didn’t actually have to be there considering she didn’t have detention, but he’d gotten used to her presence. Talking to her after detention finished was one of the things that got him through it. Of course, they never talked about anything serious, but it was nice to talk with her – even if it usually involved some form of mild teasing thrown his way. With Flash, he knew the words were meant to hurt – with MJ, he was pretty sure the names were meant as a form of endearment, or that’s what he liked to tell himself. Because unlike Flash, he happened to enjoy being around MJ. Sliding further down into his chair, he couldn’t help but think this is the one day where MJ would have loved to be there – because he certainly looked sullen enough to give her a good sketch. Debating pulling out his phone as the coach wasn’t paying attention, he shook his head and focused on the table in front of him. They were friends, but he wasn’t sure if they were at the stage where she’d appreciate him asking if she was okay – purely because she missed a detention that she never actually had. No, he’d wait it out at least a little while longer to try and make the text more casual. To make it seem like a ‘hey, I’m bored and want to talk’ sorta text and not a ‘I’m worried about you and I kinda miss you’ text.

3rd time

“What movie do you think is MJ’s favourite?” He asked suddenly, not taking his eyes off the TV, yet still sensing the strange look Ned threw his way. “What? Why don’t you ask her that?” It was a reasonable reply, still he leaned forward to pause the movie they were watching to turn to Ned. “Because… We always have these movie nights right?” He paused to let Ned nod. “Well we’ve been spending more time with MJ – don’t you think it’s a little unfair to not invite her? We talk about it around her, only seems fair to ask if she wants to come. And she could offer a new perspective! So I was thinking about asking her, but I don’t want her to have to watch a movie that she hates, you know? I want her to have a good time, and the easiest way to do that is ask her to come and watch her favourite movie. I can’t ask her what her favourite movie is, because then she’d know that’s why I suggested it, and I want it to seem casual. As if it’s a movie I picked off the top of my head, and not one I picked because I thought it’d get her to come. I don’t want her to feel pressured to come but…” A sentence he never got to finish before Ned spoke again. “Dude, you’re overthinking it. Just ask her. If she says yes, she says yes.” Sighing he switched the movie back on, deciding that Ned just didn’t get it. He couldn’t just ask her and risk her not having a good time because he chose the wrong thing, which would make her never want to come back. No he wanted to get to know her better, not make her realise they were indeed the losers she kept calling them.

4th time

He was hanging from the top bunk, looking down at the invites he’d placed on the floor earlier. Invites to some charity event that Ms.Potts was throwing, that he’d somehow been invited to. He’d question why, but he reasoned the answer would involve Mr Stark, who was still thankfully helping when he needed it. The issue was he wasn’t sure who he wanted to invite. Well, no that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that he knew who he wanted to invite, he was pretty sure if he asked them the answer would be no however. It was meant to be some sort of fancy dinner with politicians and other important people, people he imagined MJ would love to talk to. Or more to the point, MJ would love to meet to tell them why their opinions on things were wrong and how they could run the country better. That seemed perfect for MJ, but “will you come to a fancy dinner with me where we need to dress up” sounded too much like a date – and she wouldn’t want to go on a date with him, would she? He didn’t even want it to be a date! Or… did he? He had been thinking of MJ more and more lately, the same way he had when he’d been crushing on Liz, and Ned had been complaining that Peter was zoning out during lunch again the way he’ done whenever he saw Liz. But no, no he wasn’t crushing on MJ. They were friends pure and simple. He’d just take May, she could use a night out – and maybe it’d help her forget that it was Mr Stark who helped him run around the city being Spiderman.

5th time

There were times during his Spiderman ‘career’ where he questioned how he’d managed to end up in the situation he was in. Most of the time it was when a weapon was pointed at him, and he had to wonder how that was life. Now… Now he was sitting on a park bench, trying to console a girl he’d found crying enough that she could tell him what was wrong. Deciding patting her back wasn’t about to work anytime soon, he almost signed in relief when saw the book next to her. “Plath!” He exclaimed at the book of poems the girl was clutching. “My friend likes her.” He wasn’t sure why he thought of MJ in that moment, but the comment had gotten the girl to hiccup one last sob before looking up at him. “You’re friends with someone who likes her?” He wasn’t sure why she sounded so surprised but he quickly nodded. “She’s one of my best friends.” A fact he only realised after he said it. MJ had quickly become someone he liked having around – and yeah, she was a good friend. “Someone was making fun of me for reading them. Said only boring weird people like them.” And that suddenly made everything make more sense. “You can tell them that Spiderman says those poems are amazing. Can I have your phone?” He asked, to which the girl handed it over a little too easy, but that was a problem her parents could solve. Flipping the camera on, he asked the girl to hold the book up before posing with a selfie with her. He’d dealt with Flash enough to know that saying you knew a superhero wasn’t enough without proof – and what better proof than photographic. “You can tell them Spiderman’s friend is the coolest girl he knows and she even has a Plath t-shirt.” Lots of people had Plath t-shirts right? That couldn’t be a hint to who he was. “She’s super smart and super pretty, and you are too. So don’t cry, you’re amazing, just like she is.” With that, he said a quick goodbye and swung away, not because he’d had enough talking to the girl, but because he really had to talk to Ned – and work out when he’d started to like MJ so much.

the one time they do something about it

“Don’t make me say I larb you again, because you know I will.” The mock thought pulled him out of his thoughts, blinking as he looked back at his aunt. “What? I was paying attention?” He hadn’t been, but he felt like it was the right thing to say, though the look on May’s face said she wasn’t buying it. “Where was that mind of your’s?” He could come up with a lie. Say he’d been having trouble with his homework, say it was something Spiderman relate – say anything other than ‘MJ hasn’t sat with us all week and I don’t know what I did”. But secret identify aside, Peter had never been good at lying. Setting the chopsticks down, he kept his gaze firmly on the table. “I haven’t talked to MJ lately and… It’s stupid but… I miss her?” He missed the knowing glint in May’s eyes, before she reached over and placed her hand on top of his. “We finished dinner, why don’t you go see her? Ask if she wants to go see a movie, go to a museum or… Whatever you kids are doing now?” Wincing at the last words, he thought it over for a moment. There wasn’t really anything to lose if he did go ask MJ to spend time with him. If she said no.. Well it wasn’t as if he could miss her more. “Are you sure you’ll get home okay?” “Peter, I’m the adult, go have fun – but be back before curfew!” Nodding, he ran out after saying goodbye before heading to MJ’s house. He’d only been once before when they were working on a project together, but it was enough for him to remember where it was. Knocking the door, he relaxed a little when MJ answered, that way he didn’t have to try and look composed around her parents. “Hey!” No that came out too excited. “Hey.” He repeated, this time in what he hoped was a more casual way. “I was… In the neighbourhood and I thought you might like to do something tonight? With me. No pressure though, I just thought… We could go have some fun?”

[thirium-fiction]

Hi! Can you do the DPD gang reacting to their s/o using pickup lines to try to make them flustered?

A/N: Big thank you for 4k! I love you all so much and thank you for being so patient! There’s a lot going on but I’m doing my best to keep up with my writing on here! Enjoy! :)

Connor –

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”

Like most things, he wouldn’t understand what you’re referring to. All you were met with was a blank face with eyebrows knitted together in confusion. It really was difficult for you to make jokes around him especially flirtations. You’ve tried puns before with him and that didn’t work either. There would be a glimpse of an awkward attempt at a smile before fading back into a straight line. You could practically see the amount of research he was going through his vast database just from the blank look in his eyes along with a yellow LED. Connor’s lips parted before pausing for a split second as if thinking everything through.  

“I apologize. I must have misheard you, (Y/N). Would you mind repeating that to me one more time?”

A deep heavy sigh made its way out of your nose. Everyone knew that explaining something clever would ruin it but you couldn’t just leave him bewildered. He really was trying his best to understand.

“A cute-cumber!” You laughed breathlessly, slowly becoming embarrassed and regretting even saying anything in the first place. “Get it?”

Silence.

“I’m calling you cute, Connor.”

Connor immediately relaxed, happy with information finally being released and curing his confusion. “Oh, okay.” He grinned, about to continue with whatever he was doing before until freezing and looking down at his tie, fingering the end of it.

“I’m cute?”

Hank –  

“Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you got a pretty sweet ass.”

Nothing could make him flustered, honestly. He’s been on this planet long enough to have seen and heard everything.  

Everything.

But, that didn’t stop him from snorting into his whiskey glass, impressed with your attempt at trying to turn him red. Sadly, the only thing that could make the man turn such a color was the liquid in his hand. Hank noted how you stood behind the couch, bent over with your arms wrapped around his neck while doing your best to win him over with quiet whispers in his ear.

“Hm, creative.” He grunted, raising the rim of the glass up to his lips. “Sweet ass. Never heard that one before.”

You instantly smiled from ear to ear, leaning back slightly with your arms still around him. “Really?” You said, impressed with your ability of wooing others instead of your reflection in the mirror.

Hank stopped mid-sip, turning to give you a look with a raised eyebrow. The atmosphere of ‘Seriously?’ was rather obvious in the air. You rolled your eyes before lightly nudging the detective, just enough to cause the alcohol in his cup to threaten spilling over.

“Hey, watch it!” He hissed half-heartedly, quickly putting his other hand around the rim to stop the whiskey from hitting the floor.  

You nudged him again, harder this time. If you couldn’t make him flustered, you sure could press his buttons. Hank gave you a warning look, his palm tightly pressing down on the top of the glass.  

“You know,” He said, resting the cup onto the coffee table covered in old newspapers. “There are plenty of other ways of getting my attention.” His eyes stared directly into yours, not moving a muscle. “But, touchin’ my damn drink ain’t one of them.”

Gavin –  

“Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?”

He stood still in his spot, mouth slightly ajar. A swear quietly left the small gap between his lips. Usually being one to hit on others, it was definitely a shock to the system when it was responded positively (and flirtatiously at that) back. If something was in his grasp, it would definitely be on the floor by then. Luckily for him, nothing was in his hands except the sweat from his increasingly clammy palms. When the silence finally caught up to Gavin, he cleared his throat weakly, pretending as if he wasn’t on cloud nine.

“Oh, yea-” His voice was oddly high-pitched before clearing his throat once more. “Oh, yeah. I get asked that all the time.”

He didn’t.

“So, uh,” Gavin leaned on the wall beside him, a smirk on his face with a bottom lip gently taken between his teeth. “You come here often?”

Crossing your arms, you turned your head to stare at all the desks cluttered with paperwork and stressed out policemen leaning over them. Pursing your lips, you shrugged. “I mean, we both work here so I guess you can say that.”  

Gavin froze again, internally cursing and beating himself up. He was able to do this smoothly with anybody else but why couldn’t he keep his cool around you?

“Ah, yeah, right, right.” He trailed off, awkward silence looming over the both of you.

The lack of noise was too much before you kicked off the wall, ready to head back to your desk to continue the work you had been avoiding.  

“Are you okay?” Gavin suddenly asked, making you stop and give him a puzzled expression.

“Yes? I’m perfectly-”

“’Cause I think you’re suffering from lack of vitamin me.”

You couldn’t stop the laughter from sneaking past your lips before you responded with a pickup line of your own again.

It ended up being a competition on who could out-flirt the other before somebody got too flustered.

You won.

RK900 -

“I can turn your floppy disk into a hard drive.”

What guts you had to have to attempt at flirting with this android.  

During a mission.

The gun in Conner’s hands was swiftly lowered as he sneered down at you, the height difference becoming even more prominent. Your expression of amusement didn’t lessen but rather increased at his reaction. You knew you were in for it now but it was worth it.

Holstering his weapon, the robot stood tall as he always did, not a hair out of place as his cold eyes never removed themselves from you. “I apologize. I must have misheard you, Detective (L/N). Would you mind repeating that to me one more time?”

That sounded more like a demand rather than a request. Hell, anything Conner said was a demand in the form of a request. It was easy for people to retreat back to wherever they came from every time they stood too close to the robot. He was drastically different than his RK800 counterpart who Conner refused to acknowledge even existed.

But, here you were, making advances towards him to make him flustered.

Was being flustered even in his coding? He seemed to be programmed with only one expression.  

Annoyance.

Or maybe he did have more expressions but he always gave you this one instead. Whatever it was, he was clearly unimpressed and wanted nothing more than to continue what he was made to do.

A grin blossomed across your face as you shoved your hand into your pocket, fishing around for something. Your sudden movement caught Conner’s interest slightly but he wasn’t going to bring himself to change the subject. A closed fist removed itself from your pocket and held itself out towards the android.

“Could you hold this for me?” You asked innocently, blinking up at him.

Conner shook his head, deciding he wasted enough time on this. “I do not see why I would-”

“Please?” You whined, interrupting him (which he didn’t appreciate, of course).

Reluctantly, Conner slowly raised his palm out to you, waiting for you to release the item to him. But, instead of something being place into his hand, your fingers laced themselves between his, successfully holding onto his hand.

After a beat, he dropped his hand from your touch and turned away, muttering, “Immature.”

You followed after him with a grin, taking note of his hesitancy before letting go.

Captain Allen -  

“I like a man in uniform but I think it’d look better on the floor.”

Allen wasn’t surprised at all. He chuckled right after the words left your mouth. Somehow, you could easily make him forget the stressful days at work he could have. He wouldn’t become flustered per say, but he did feel his heartbeat pick up in the slightest. You did this every time he seemed tired and it always raised his spirits.

“Where do you even get these?” He questioned, setting his bag down and kicking off his shoes.

Shrugging, you threw your hands up in the air. “I have no idea. They just find their way into my head and I make sure to remember them just for you.”

The man stared at you before shaking his head with a smile. “Wow, thanks.”  You were definitely one of the most interesting people he had ever met. With a light sigh, he touched your knee gently, rubbing it before getting up. His sore muscles forcing him to groan in pain. “I’m headin’ to the shower.”  

Stretching out across the couch on your stomach, you rested your head in the palm of your hand. “Oooh, can I join?” You asked in a teasing tone of voice.

Shrugging off his dark coat, he rolled his eyes playfully at your antics. “You really don’t run out of those do you? Conserving water is good for the Earth, ya know?”

Getting up from your spot on the couch, you sauntered over to Allen, wrapping your arms around his waist as he hung up his coat on the rack. “There’s plenty more where that came from.” Standing on your toes, you rested your lips right next to his ear. “Would you like to hear them?” The hot air sent a chill down the S.W.A.T. captain’s back.

A low hum erupted from his throat before he pulled away. “Tempting.” He said, thinking it over. “But, I still have work to do.”

You watched as he walked in the direction of the shower. “I’ll get you one of these days, Captain Allen!” You shouted after him causing you to receive a thumbs-up with his back still to you.

“I’d like to see you try.”

[masterlist]

[dailyaudiobible]

07/27/2021 DAB Transcript

2 Chronicles 19:1-20:37, Romans 10:14-11:12, Psalms 21:1-13, Proverbs 20:4-6

Today is the 27th day of July welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today around the Global Campfire as we find our peace, our oasis, our center. We center ourselves in the Scriptures, and…and we do it together, We don’t have to be alone in a solitary endeavor. We’re in community as we take the next step. And, so, let's do that. We’re reading from the New English Translation this week. Today, second Chronicles chapters 19 and 20.

Commentary:

Okay. In our reading from Second Chronicles today we have this story from the reign of King Jehoshaphat that is really a complete and very very hopeful story in an incredible…an incredibly terrifying and intimidating time. So, Israel is about to be attacked by a vast horde of three different armies who are crossing the Dead Sea and…and then preparing to come up to Jerusalem. And this is not anticipated. That’s the thing. Like this happens suddenly and there are those times in our lives, right, when the sudden and unexpected happens and we realize that we are in a vulnerable position, and we have to decide what to do. And this is the whole nation of Israel deciding this…they…they're facing the this, their scouts have indeed reported that a vast horde of people are crossing the Dead Sea to attack Jerusalem. So, if you think about it like what are the options? Maybe to immediately go and…and expend every single bit of energy and resource possible to immediately try to build up some kind of reinforcement or some kind of fortification. But again this isn’t planned. Like, this is haste. This is…would be reacting, but if it's a vast horde what are you going to do? They don't have a lot of options. Or maybe send negotiators down to the Army to see what they want, you know, see if there could be terms of peace, like to settle the situation or, I guess…I don't know. Vast army is coming against you, maybe you just want to go in the other direction as fast as you can and just get as far away from the conflict as possible. That might be a little easier for individuals or small groups of people than to have a whole nation run away from an enemy, an enemy that seems to be, you know, amassing an attack on the capital city of Jerusalem. But as the story goes, and I just…I’m quoting here from second Chronicles. “Jehoshaphat was afraid so he decided to seek the Lord's advice. He decreed that all Judah should observe a fast.” So, he didn't go negotiate. They didn't run away. He didn’t try a higher a militia or some other army, but he was afraid. And we can probably relate, right? The unexpected comes, we see vulnerability and we’re afraid. And it's what happens next, though that becomes the important thing because what happens next in this story is very different than maybe some of…some of the things that we do when we face these situations. We may run away, try to negotiate, build up reinforcements, do whatever we gotta do. But in this case, he was afraid, and he turned to God. And he…he goes before the Lord, and he prays, like God we can't deal with…we don't…we’re not prepared for this. They’re…they're going to overtake us. You are our only hope. And when this temple was built we said that if we were invaded or things were happening we could come here and we can call upon your name and so that's what we’re doing. We’re calling upon your name because they're coming to attack us. And I quote from Jehoshaphat's prayer. “Our God will you not judge them for we are powerless against this huge army that attacks us. We don't know what we should do. We look to you for help.” So, that is a posture that is not in their own strength. That is a posture saying we are utterly dependent upon you, Lord. As the story goes, they stay before the Lord, worship the Lord and prophetic voice is spoken and…and the people are to go out, they are to go out and face the enemy, but what they will be ultimately are spectators, not participants in the battle. They…they…they go out and observe. The three armies have destroyed each other. So, when we find ourselves facing the unknown and we’re afraid and the facts aren't looking good, we can move in any number of directions. We have a will. We can chart our own course in our own strength but if we will remember this story it is a hopeful one in these seasons. It is hopeful and helpful to be reminded of our utter dependence upon God and to remember that He is a lot stronger than we are. He is a lot stronger than what might be coming against us, and He knows all a lot more about what's actually going on than we do. And, so, as we watch Jehoshaphat in the people of Israel in this case, we see that there are any number of things that they could've done, but what they did was to humble themselves before the Lord and it was the Lord who delivered them.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for stories like this one that…that bring encouragement and a great amount of hope, but also a tremendous amount of reminder. It is not in our own strength that we will achieve anything. It is by Your grace and Your sustenance and Your protection alone. And, so, we humble ourselves before You in all of the things that we may be facing. You are our only hope and this is the only hope we need. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com, that is home base, that is where you find out what is going on around here. And like I say often, the app, the Daily Audio Bible app is also a way to access all these things.

So, whether on the app or on the web you'll find the Community section and that is important to know about because that is where the Prayer Wall lives. And the Prayer Wall, of course, is a place always to go and pray. And whether that be asking for prayer or whether that be offering prayer, it is always on, always available, day or night. And also in the Community section are the links to get connected on the different social media channels that we participate in. So, that's good to know about as well. So, certainly check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if the mission to continue to do what we’re doing, which is showing up every day around this Global Campfire and taking the next step forward together, if that has been life-giving to you then thank you for your partnership. We wouldn't be doing any of this if we didn't do it together. And, so, there is a link on the homepage at the website or if you're using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button, the little red button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi Daily Audio Bible family this is My Joy is full from London and I just finished listening to the July 24th podcast and I just wanted to say, there’s a lady at the end and I can't remember her name but she told us her testimony about how she's ashamed because of the divorcing her husband and her divorcing her ex-husband and now…and she came to the DAB because of her new husband and etc., etc. But…and you asked, like how do you tell that, how do you…you feel like you’re __ your testimony, how do you tell that? And exactly how you just told us is how you tell it, I think. Yeah, tell people that you were hesitant but it's just…that changed your life. Exactly what you said. So, that say to whoever like the Spirit leads. But, yeah, I wanted to say like the way you said it was perfect.

Hi DAB family this is Jessica from California. I'm calling in today to ask for some prayer. Last year sometime I called in and asked everyone to pray for my uncle who was in a…he got ran over by a car and he made it through that and now he's in a rehabilitation center. He's not the same as he used to be. He’s sort of like a child, but he does know some things. But he's having a hard time connecting the dots. And today was the first time I was able to go take him on an outing. I've been…been visiting…visiting him for…every two weeks for the past few months since they started letting us because before that I couldn't even see them because of COVID. And, so, I really thought it was going to be a great day and I was so excited about it but once I got him out, he got really overwhelmed and anxiety and he felt scared and kind of weird. And, you know, going from being a normal human being to being handicapped I'm sure not an easy thing to accept or understand, especially for him to understand why. And I just would like to ask you brothers and sisters if you could just help me pray for my uncle to have the peace that surpasses all understanding because he just…he tells me that he worries and…and he doesn't know what he's going to do and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. And I tell him not to worry, that we're trying to figure that out but it's just a lot for him. So, I just appreciate if you guys could help me pray for that. And I…and I love you guys and hope everything is well. Bye. Thank you.

I'm basking in the spirit but I'm still laying in bed the sun hasn't come up yet and I'm glad that I'm not dead it's quiet and it's dark and it seems like the world's asleep but I can feel you all around me God and inside too real deep it feels like I'm glowing but I know that can't be true pre-dawn is my favorite time to come in prayer to you there aren't any real distractions no voices cars or lights no human interference no arguments or fights only me reflecting thoughts that spring from deep within thoughts now filled with gratitude that used to be a sin I come to you for power I come to you for grace I come to you my father because there really is no other place I lift you up for what you've done you've done so much for me I praise you God for who you are and how you've set me free it seems like I can't get enough of praising you every day the closer that I get to you the more I love to pray thank you God for lifting me for loving me for setting free thank you God that my eyes can see a concept like eternity the sun's up now and I'm still in prayer I still can feel you everywhere inside outside all around even deep below the ground you are truly awesome

blindtony1016@gmail.com. I'd like to give a shout out to Margaret Aronetta. I hope that things are well and that your new podcast 180 got off the ground successfully. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers daily. And once again Brian and the Hardin family thank you for this wonderful podcast for God's Holy Spirit to flow. Keep it flowin’ Y’all. Alright. Bye-bye.

Hi Diane from Denver, I heard you speaking this morning about the grief that you're experiencing at your daughter's death and I…it took my breath away. And I just thank you for reaching out. I…I hear that you are trying to be strong and…and you don't have to be. You've lost your daughter and that's sad and you're doing the right thing in reaching out. Just feel those feelings. Give them to the Lord. Sit with the Lord and feel your feelings and remember your memories and as time passes He will walk you through this path of grief that leads to a new way of living, a way of living that does not include your daughter. And how painful that's going to be. I pray that you are able to reach out and feel Him, feel the presence of Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and our Father as they hold you as you learn to walk this new life and that you'll eventually be able to find new waves of joy, deeper relationship with the Holy Spirit and our God. I just pray you comfort sister. Amen.

Good morning DAB family I am calling in a prayer for the woman that called about her daughter that passed away. I believe she said it's not been that long. She had post on the wall for a transplant…plant for her daughter and was denied. Today is Sunday the 25th. Father God in the name of Jesus I ask that You will comfort the Young lady that lost her daughter that passed away not too long ago God. Give her peace above all understanding God. Comfort her in her time of bereaving God. Lord You know we need You right now in these times where we don't know where to turn, which way to turn God. We toss and turn in our sleep God. But Lord You said that You would never leave us nor forsake us God. So, God let her know that You are with her. Comfort her in her sleep God. Talk to her in her dreams. Let her know that her daughter is at peace and her daughter is with her Father God. Give her family peace. Give her family comfort God. Lord in the name of Jesus I pray for those that need comfort right now, those that are bereaving for lost ones God. Not only her lost ones but those that lost loved ones for whatever reason God. I pray on this line Lord that she would give us peace above all understanding in Jesus’ name God. Comfort those that call in that are sick that are wounded. that are broken hearted. those that are suffering right now. You comfort those. Give them peace above all understanding in Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

[transcriptroopers]

Regarding Veteran’s Day

So it’s Veteran’s Day! 11/11 huh? Sometimes that brings back memories. I was in JROTC in high school and they organized the schools at these events every year. It was optional, but I attended every single Veteran’s Day memorial service, whether it was being on color guard or just showing up to stand with my fellow cadets in uniform. Some would leave as soon as the ceremony was done, but I loved to make the rounds and talk to the aging vets who came to speak at the ceremonies. I actually made my mom take me to it every year, and that is impressive for me because my mother was pretty abusive and I hated asking her for anything :’)

I hope all of my vet followers are gonna have a rad day. It’s Saturday! The world is at your finger tips. Spend time with friends and family; reflect on the good in your life.

and most importantly

As soon as the clock turned midnight, I knew it was Veteran’s Day. That’s because my passengers (I’m a Lyft driver) started giving me the ol’ “thank you for your service” (to which I always respond: “and thank you for yours!” because I choose to hear it as “thank you, a Lyft driver, for performing this service) razzle-dazzle but pumped up to eleven. And yeah, I bring it upon myself by even saying it. Somehow the passengers who want to converse with me always wind up asking me how I moved to the area or what kind of work I did, and having lived a pretty uneventful life I always wind up mentioning the army. But it’s not just Lyft, right? It’s like I can’t escape it. Every year I’m getting bombarded with e-mails, news articles, tumblr posts, webcomics, “thanking me for my service” and talking about how golly-gosh-darn much they respect the military and those noble folks who serve. I have some words that are part advice and part cry for help. I hope I’m understood, but this is personal for me, so it’s inevitably biased. Whether you read or skip, thank you for your continued support and appreciation, and I hope you appreciate my new URL based on the anti-fascist cult classic Starship Troopers. 

— “Thank you for your service” isn’t common courtesy whenever you see a soldier. It’s just something civilians say because they’ve been taught all their lives to hero worship the military no matter what. The only ones who like you doing it are the ones who especially don’t need it – those who have some sort of superiority/martyr complex about being in military. Please don’t enforce this kind of culture. And I’m not saying “be disrespectful.” Just talk to veterans like normal people, yeah?

Other things NOT to say: • What did you do over there? • Did you kill/shoot anyone? • Did you like it? • So you’re probably in favor of -most recent military newspiece- • My so-and-so is in the military, so a) I’m going to talk about that for twenty minutes because I’m sure you appreciate hearing about other people in the military/ b) I 100% understand what you all go through. • That’s so brave/selfless/patriotic/courageous of you (to join) • So how much did they fuck you up/so did it leave it in one piece/other euphemisms for “are you disabled now and how?” • Me: “Oh, I was in the army.” You: *loud screeching, cheering, clapping, and wooing* (This is embarrassingly common in Lyfts). Please also don’t…run up to us suddenly and ask to shake our hands? Or just thrust your hand out and hope we reciprocate without even getting our attention? What are you doing??

Things that are okay to say: • Can I ask about your time in service? <— for real though like…stop assuming every vet wants to talk to you about everything they ever did in the military. • Were you stationed anywhere cool? <— gives vet option to omit assignments they don’t want to talk about/allows vet to decline to answer. people usually just straight up hit me with “where were you stationed?” like it’s an interrogation and like… no offense but ?? • Did you hear about -insert military news here-? <— vets aren’t a hive mind. We don’t always know what every other branch of the military is up to. People hit me with “What did you think about that x that happened in y because of z?” Also I once casually mentioned I spent a year in South Korea and got back “Oh man so you probably have the inside scoop on North Korea and everything huh?” and like…bro vets usually aren’t much more informed than civilians about military maneuvers tbh like sometimes they’re less informed because they think they don’t HAVE to be. And like…just in case I haven’t made it clear in the past, the vast majority of soldiers will never be in combat and they will never so much as aim their weapon at another person, let alone fire it. Somehow so many civilians seem to think soldiers shooting people is inevitable; i wonder why…

If you are with or know a veteran and you’re going to a restaurant courtesy of the now popular ploy of offering freebies on the 11th, be sure to

A. Tip on the original amount. Servers get fucking screwed on V-Day because veterans get their whole meal for free and tip on the cost of the drinks. Don’t be that asshole. B. Don’t engage the server with military stories or solicit perks because they’re “serving a hero.” They’re busy. They have four hundred other heroes to serve today who aren’t going to be tipping them and who expect way more respect given than they give in return so eat your free frozen spaghetti with microwaved meatballs and leave. C. On that last note consider just…NOT going to these restaurants?? Come on; they’re all overpriced and shitty chains and franchises with frozen food, they usually only offer you some partial free item or something from a list of like three super-limited entrees, and they want you to come and get a free meal so your friends and family feel obligated to come along and they have to purchase their meals and it’s really not about helping or appreciating veterans it’s about drawing business. Excluding poor veterans because free food is free food I get it. D. Consider giving your leftovers or perhaps your full free meal to a homeless person. Personally this is how I’m going to be spending V-Day; I’ll be going restaurant to restaurant for anyone who’ll give me that free food to go, and then I’ll just pass it out to the innumerable homeless lined up in my area. And no, not specifically homeless veterans. All homeless deserve to eat. I mention this specifically because I had a conversation recently with a Lyft passenger about how I thought it would be better to give all of this free food to homeless instead of soldiers, (because hint hint - active duty soldiers are veterans, and they’re getting this free food despite already having their every need provided for) and I was told that many homeless people are veterans, so it works out in the wash. • It can be hard to keep track of the dates when you’re homeless. You’re assuming they’ll know it’s the 11th to begin with, or that they’ll have access to the knowledge of which restaurants are offering deals. • Homeless people usually have to walk to get around, and the U.S. is not very accessible on foot. So you’re assuming that homeless person even has access to a restaurant offering this deal. • These deals usually require that you purchase a drink or something, and drinks can be upwards of $3. It’s like the only stipulation for it being “free” and it specifically inhibits homeless accessibility. • Homeless are not welcome in society. A homeless person, even a vet, walking into a restaurant for a free meal is facing a lot of risk; at the very least the staff will probably treat them poorly, at the worst they’ll be kicked out, especially if they try to use the bathroom because everyone assumes they’re doing drugs in there and not, you know, the thing we all have to do five times a day. • Trust me, I’ve gone to a lot of these free meal things. There ain’t no mass movement of homeless vets lining up to get that free food. Besides, if society wanted homeless vets to get the food, they would target homeless vets and low-income vets; not try to bribe people to bring their family to Applebee’s. And finally if you weren’t convinced • You need to have proof that you’re prior military to get that food. And not just like your old dog tags or being able to recall your time in service. You need a military I.D or a DD 214, the paper that officially releases you from service. How many homeless vets do you think are carrying around their discharge paperwork from decades ago? Does everyone on the streets have a valid ID? Dude some homeless don’t remember their goddamn names. Get a fuckin’ clue. In short

Happy Veterans Day. I hope all other veterans have a nice day. Please don’t hero worship soldiers. Please treat us like people.  Please also look back on the lives lost in unethical political wars, illegal invasions, hostile takeovers, foreign overthrow of governments, and the ever-present “collateral” damage that is still murdering innocent civilians in the form of hushed up drone strikes. Please consider how the United States has been at war for 222 years out of its current 239 years of existence. Doesn’t that seem weird? Almost unreal? Like something out of a dystopian novel?  Ask yourself why this holiday began as a remembrance of the dead and the celebration of the end of the Great War, a global day to celebrate world peace, and ask why it is that other parts of the world still know it as such while America’s 222 years of war has caused it to instead hail the tools of those wars. A final statement: there is currently nothing to thank your military for.

-Kingsley

[thesinglesjukebox]

LOUIS TOMLINSON - MISS YOU [5.45] 3rd try is the... charm?

Maxwell Cavaseno: While foolish critics fondled the prattishness of current day Liam Gallagher and Primal Scream pastiche as some kind of return to form just because he had a good year on Twitter, leave it to the prophet of the zen-sunni anarchist of laddishment defined as "The Tommo Way", one Maestro Louis Tomlinson, to actually bother with coming up with a song that channels the Oasian spirit. The rock bits are all corrosive grafts to the point of Frankenstein artificiality, but whereas prime Oasis sounded like the pieces of Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane's torched remains superimposed over Paul Weller statuettes at times, "Miss You" is the false memories of those Good Time Gents xeroxed and 3D-printed out, Trevor Horn style, into blasts of anxiety disguised as escapist hoots. Louis feels attached to violent bungee cords outside of his control from the demands of the present, desire to "move on" into the future and the regrets of the past, and for all the easy charm of the sneery "Shit" reflex, you get the sense he would really like to keep up those swells of abandon for more than a few moments. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: A post-breakup celebration complete with concomitant feelings of bitterness and regret. Louis Tomlinson channels 2000s pop rock and Oasis to forge a song well-suited for a bygone era's Teen Movie and obligatory soundtrack tie-in. The strings are hokey but self-aware: a cartoon rain cloud that follows Louis as he attempts to drink away conflicted feelings. The whole situation may be trope after trope, but it can feel less lonely and disheartening when you align your experiences with familiar, well-trod territory. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: It's great to have to Freefaller/The Noise Next Door/Son of Dork back, it really is, but what on earth is going with Louis Tomlinson's accent? Perhaps he just has to do what he can to get his voice through a song unscathed, but here it flits between classic, Robbiesque mid-atlanticism ("all of these thoughts", "tune"), an approximation of "standard" southern ("dancing" is halfway to Bextor), and a weirdly exaggerated version of his own northern speech (witness the same vowel in "worry", "love" and "coming" in the bridge, which does not sound quite like how he says it when talking). In the final case, it's almost as if they wrote in that particular vocalic thread in an attempt to accentuate his tediously misguided #toplad persona. Better yet, it might all be a purposeful display of linguistic performance made to explode the myth of singular authenticity. So let's just pretend that it is. [4]

Alex Clifton: Louis Tomlinson is such an enigma; I could never quite figure out his place in 1D, and I'm not sure anyone else did, either. Zayn was the hot one, Niall the songwriter, Harry the wild card, and Liam was... well, whatever Liam is. But Louis? Who knows, other than the first one to become a dad. Fittingly, this is the most generic 1D solo debut. Even "Strip That Down," a real corker, could've only come from someone as self-important and un-self-aware as Liam. Louis ticks all the post-boy band boxes here--he swears! he drinks!--and doesn't actually sound bad, but I still can't tell you anything about Louis-the-person. In other words, it's exactly what I expected from him. [4]

Isabel Cole: In the absence of any ability to even pretend to be a little bit objective about my fave Direction/fellow Capricorn sun Gemini rising with Mars in Sg/iPhone background and lockscreen since 2013/biological son whom I, personally, raised to semi-manhood with my blood sweat and tears, how about full transparency instead? Three points off the bat for the sheer base pleasure of hearing Louis Tomlinson sing with false brightness "everything is fucking great" with that accent, happier to be swearing on his song than anyone in pop since Avril snarled her exhaustion with all the ssshit that you do; one point for the #mood of spending the entirety of an ostensibly fun night out glued to your phone, two points for the #big mood of "just one more pint or five / does it even matter anyway"; one for the knowledge that he is finally making the loud dumb guitar-punching fake pop punk of his beautiful idiot heart; two for finding myself genuinely affected by the bridge - I remember that, too, when I was his age, marveling over how suddenly the rules can change, how you have to unlearn the entire way your life has oriented itself around the person you can't even be with alone now; docked two points for not living up to the promise of "No Control"; bonus point for "lads." [8]

Joshua Copperman: "Miss You" is a bizarre listen from the top -- a dry guitar VST shares space with real-life violins, martial drum loops, gang vocals, and a glossy, compressed acoustic strum. Also, auto-tuned ad-libs. That's all before the lyrics, which sound like "Not Over You" was combined with the sappiest parts of Divide, then sprinkled with curse words, and then sent through Botnik. I'm assuming Julian Bunetta didn't know how to work with Louis after crafting successes for Niall, so Bunetta just decided to do everything at once. Therefore, we get an album's worth of misguided ideas in one song, but by some miracle, it's just WTF enough to work. To paraphrase another Directioner, it's absolutely ridiculous, but I'm into it. [7]

Katherine St Asaph: How is Louis from One Direction making better Pink songs than Pink? [7]

Austin Brown: Oh, so he's decided to be the pop-punk one? That's...a choice. Somehow this makes me appreciate the fluidity of post-reunion Fall Out Boy's EDM integrations far more though--the genre gestures scattered throughout (strings, auto-tuned adlibs, background choral vocals, etc) feel more like badly disguised bids to expand Louis's market share, and who needs any of this when Hey Violet is around? [4]

Anthony Easton: Bratty vocals, but not in ways that I haven't heard a million times before, made even more obvious by the terribly reductive guitar playing. [2]

Alfred Soto: While his 1D mates have gotten undue credit for using power chords and arena-ready drum patterns, Louis Tomlinson aims for spice: he adds violins and some rubbish about dancing on tables. As if. [3]

Ashley John: Louis is earnest in the only scrubby, scuffed up, anthemic way he knows how to be. "Miss You" steals just the right amount of pop punk sandpaper grit to toughen up an otherwise precise pop song into something else. He's genuine and apocalyptic in the same lines, barely delineating a Tuesday night from the vast, hopeless forever. This song sounds like the stride he's been waiting to hit. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

[black-strike-otp]

part 95

I’m an asshole and I love it. Isn’t there a spongebob meme for that? I’m that meme. No wait- it’s “I’m a jerk and everybody loves me”. Okay, not as accurate, but I’m still a jerk and I enjoy it.

It was obvious ‘Cade was exerting a vast amount of will not to turn on them. As Blackout watched the smaller mech of inky armor and deep amethyst, his expression would warp and twist between that of a possessed demon and a panic-stricken face the former Hound did not recognize. Barricade had always been the cool-headed sort. Very few things ruffled him. He joked when things weren’t bad or serious, pulled his fair share of pranks, and mostly offered a relaxed state of mind for the most part.

To see him rattled and struggling to contain himself was both painful as it was worrisome.

“‘Cade, are we out of range of Shockwave’s missile launchers?” Blackout inquired slowly.

“Maybe,” he whispered in a voice that sounded like grinding gears.

“If we are, I should take Venus and head to the rogue base,” the larger mech offered.

Barricade dug his digits against the seams of armor on Venus’ backside. She made a soft whimper of pain, clutching at her chassis as she stumbled.

The infected mech instantly looked terrified and regretful of his error. His digits loosened as he relaxed his arm. Gently he moved his servo to rub along her lower back as the spectrum of his optics shifted into a salmon pink with unsettling white trimming around his pupil. With each circular motion of his digits against Venus’ frame, the invisible lines in his face began to grow more prominently distinguishable where his mouth could part into four sections.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” ‘Cade swallowed nervously, his voice scratchy and thick as he continued, “Venus is my anchor. I- I lose myself when she’s not around.”

“You look like you’re about to lose yourself and use your anchor for a snack,” Blackout warned in a grow.

Maroon hues in the huge mech’s gaze softened as he offered once more, in a quieter tone, “‘Cade, let me help-”

“I got this,” Barricade snapped furiously, turning a barbaric sneer upon Blackout as he glared menacingly. With his derma showing through his lips, the panels of metal began to part into quartets along his face. Along the interior of his jaws one could make out the pulsating glow of light in his mouth whilst he drawled out a lengthy breath of air in a hiss.

Venus flinched with pain as she tripped part of the way on her pedes. Agony flashed over her usually pristine faceplate for a nanoklik. She was quick to offer a pleasantly reassuring smile on to Barricade as he reached out with his other arm to help steady her on her pedes, dropping the container he was holding on the ground with a thud.

“Sorry,” she said with a brief, weak laugh. “Clumsy pedes.”

“It’s okay,” ‘Cade soothed as best he could despite the snarling undertones in his voice.

Tension moved through Blackout’s backstrut as he noted Venus removing her servo from her wounded side. He took a step forward, intending to comment when she pressed her energon soaked digits against the side of Barricade’s faceplate.

His vision turned blindingly bright as he inhaled in a low, echoing growl in the back of his throat.

“You got this, babe,” Venus praised in a faint voice.

Servo shaking, Barricade reached up to place his servo on hers. Although he was pressing his mouth firmly shut, it began to part slightly as he suddenly wrapped his digits along her wrist, breathing out in a loud, gurgling of hunger.

The alluring jet black and pink femme winced, and as she moved to recoil she nearly fell back as Blackout stepped forward to help catch her with one arm. Though, he doubted she would have hit the ground regardless with the servo ensnared in Barricade’s tight grip.

“Let her go, ‘Cade,” Blackout advised in a growling voice.

A powerful snarl escaped the infected mech as the feeder tube began to glint out of his maw.

“Barricade,” he stated in a loud, carrying tone. “Release Venus. She’s weak, and you’re hurting her. I know you don’t want to hurt her, and I don’t want to hurt you. Let. Go.”

Groaning loudly, the small mech quickly snapped his digits free and took a step back. He didn’t dare to inhale in of the sweet smell of energon so close, so tantalizingly close. Instead he covered his faceplate shamefully with his servos to mask his deformed faceplate. A painful, agonized wail drawled out of him slowly.

For the moment, Blackout disregarded his best friend’s mournful cry. Bending lower to Venus’ height, he temporarily placed the circuitboard he’d been carrying on the ground. Wrapping his arm around the back of Venus’ legs, Blackout hoisted her up in his arms effortlessly. He’d carried much larger mechs than her off the battlefield before.

She went almost instantly limp in his grasp. The light from her optics dulled significantly as she shuttered them offline with a sigh. Where her servo had been previously covering, a blackened stain mostly soaked in blue was still dripping out her life-blood in an ebbing flow. Blackout cursed himself for allowing her to continue walking despite her condition. He should have insisted upon it. Shockwave’s weapons were a refined art of war, and even though on the exterior of her frame it didn’t look terrible, he couldn’t imagine what the impact may have done to her if she was already this weakened.

He turned his attention to Barricade, as the mech knelt down on the ground. He could hear Novastrike’s pads on the ground by now as she approached from scouting behind to make sure they weren’t being followed, but her cyber-cat’s steps were unsure.

“I’m sorry, Venus,” ‘Cade’s muffled voice escaped his servos. “Blackout I’m so-”

“Stop with apologizes,” the ebony mech interrupted. “No one’s blaming you. You kept control. But Venus is going to go unconscious if she’s not gotten help soon. She’s in trouble, ‘Cade. I need you to think. Are we far enough from the ground-to-air missile launchers for me to fly her out of here?”

Dragging his servos away from his faceplate, Barricade looked down at the ground. Blackout had to resist stepping closer to comfort his old comrade and put Venus too close to him. The feeder was coiling and out of his maw as he tried to retract it with a helpless look of abandonment.

“I think so,” he barely managed to grunt.

“Thank Primus,” Blackout muttered. “And do try to forgive me for this.”

‘Cade looked up to him as a jolt of electricity arced out from Blackout’s arm as he cradled Venus against himself and sent out an electromagnetic pulse. He already felt groggy from the last burst of energy, and even the less potent wave he sent coursing over Barricade left him wanting to lay down and recharge for the next few days.

With a startled yelp, the small mech’s frame froze up from the energy arcing over him. The opening to his jaws sealed up as he groaned, falling back on the ground like a splayed out starfish.

Frag, he couldn’t believed that worked. If ‘Cade had an anti-spark of Unicron, he doubted that would have knocked him out.

Curving a tiredly mumbling Venus in the crook of his elbow, Blackout stepped over to the small mech’s comatose frame. He bent down just enough to scoop an arm awkwardly around Barricade and against his backside and flung him upward as he rose. He flopped with ease halfway over Blackout’s massive shoulder and hung lax with an arm placed around his back.

Novastrike strolled up once he had Barricade secured with a raised optic ridge.

“What?”

“You want to explain what happened? Or if you’ll be able to handle carrying both of them back to the rogue base?”

“I have it all under control,” Blackout stated with a brisk nod. “Just ran into a bit of difficulty. Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Obviously,” Nova agreed with a nod. “So like, is there where you got your designation from? Giving bots black outs and just towing them off?”

“Ha-ha,” Blackout snorted with a roll of his optics. “I’m going to need to transform, but it might take a moment to rearrange my armor around these two, so bare with me a moment.”

“You’re going to fly carrying them both? I don’t know, isn’t that... a load?”

“I can almost carry my own weight. And these two combined, plus you, doesn’t even equal that.”

“Damn,” Nova purred with appreciation as she looked him up and down. “Color me impressed. I feel a lot better knowing I’ve been shacking up with not just with a former commanding officer of the Decepticon army, but a hunky mech of all mechs.”

Blackout rolled his optics and gave a shake of his helm as he commented, “You can marvel in wonder of me later. Right now we need to get Venus to a medic, stat.”

~

Between picking shattered pieces of Venus’ undercarriage out from her entrails and shredded protoform, the medic kept looking up to Blackout and Novastrike with a displeased expression. He didn’t seem happy with them nosing around while he was working, but unlike other medics Blackout had dealt with, he had no bite and very little bark.

Thus, despite his feelings towards medics and their offices, he remained behind to keep watch over the medic he knew so little on to make sure he didn’t try stealing the femme’s t-cog or something equally ridiculous. With his arms crossed and optics boring down on the mech, he’d yet to try anything Blackout would blatantly disapprove of. And with his somewhat trained femme upon his shoulder keeping an eagle out out as well, he had a feeling she’d be more apt to see something wrong with his procedures.

The bot took a moment to check the medical energon feed line going in to Venus before resuming his work in removing the debris inside of her. Much of the leaks had already been patched or sealed with that odd gluey substance Blackout recalled Novastrike putting his armor before. Under his advisement, the mech had agreed to dispose of all the rags that had been muddled with energon.

On a berth opposite of Venus’, Barricade began to stir and rise up. One of his servos pressed against his temple as he released a pained moan.

Turning to better look at his old friend, Blackout offered a slight smile as he spoke up: “Good to see you’re awake.”

“Ugh, my helm’s killing me,” he muttered. “Feels like someone dropped me on my helm from a forty story building.”

“Well I didn’t drop you from a forty story building, but I imagine combating the urge to eat the love of your life and taking an unexpected EMP that knocked you on your aft couldn’t have been good for you,” the larger mech chuckled.

“Well thanks for that, you aft,” ‘Cade snarled, wincing as he rubbed the back of his helm.

“You’re welcome,” Blackout replied without the least bit of tartness in his delighted tone.

Barricade sat up slowly to move his optics around the room. The instant he took notice of the frame on the berth, he was climbing off his own with alarm etched in his faceplate. Blackout made a move to get in the way in hopes of stopping him, but the mech was nimble despite having just awoken. He dove beneath the bigger mech’s arm and slipped past the medic as he turned to try stopping him to come over on Venus’ other side.

“Young mech, what do you think you’re doing?” the medic scolded furiously. “I’m working here, and you need to be on a berth resting!”

The small mech twisted his helm slowly to the medic. Once again, the previous light pink hues colored his optics as the metal plates shifted against his faceplate. A sinister hiss escaped his throat as he reached out to take his femme’s servo lightly in his own.

Reeling back, the medic let out a squawk. He turned as if to flee, only to smack his faceplate directly into Blackout’s armor as he stepped in the way.

“Move, mech!” the doctor yelled, trying to claw his way past. “Can’t you see that bot’s possessed! It’s a demon! Move I say-”

“Doc,” Blackout rumbled deeply, glowering down at the mech as he flexed his arms. “I suggest you get back to work, before you have a bigger problem on your servos.”

Terror lit up the mech’s blue optics. He opened his mouth partly as he leaned his helm back to look up at Blackout. The red light emitting from his optics was darkened. With a narrowed gaze, he rumbled in the depths of his chassis.

The intimidation had the mech shrinking back from him and against the berth.

“I’ll report you all for this,” he stated in a wavering voice. “None of the other rogues will tolerate having you treating me like this!”

“Sir, we only want you to help our friend,” Novastrike spoke up. The medic turned his optics upon her and the irresistible begging look of her faceplate. Slightly pouty lower lip, big round eyes of sadness, and the pathetic, pleading look that would make any saint weep and cave beneath such a pure and innocent stare.

“They don’t mean any harm,” she went on in a voice lulling and soft. “They’re just not good with social interaction. Don’t mind them. They won’t bite- or punch- I swear it.”

Muttering nervously, the medic wrung his servos in front of his chassis, the scalpel still in his grip. He turned to look back at Barricade, but his faceplate had conformed back to normal already and his vision was dark violet as he looked down to his femme on the berth with remorse.

“I’m still reporting you thugs,” the bot unhappily griped, turning around to get back to work.

Moving his optics to Novastrike’s proud faceplate, Blackout rumbled quietly in his throat, “You better watch yourself dear, I don’t want to beat off every mech that falls in love with you the moment you speak up or they lay their optics upon your beautiful face.”

“Sorry,” she whispered with a cheeky grin. “I just wanted to help.”

Grinning, the enormous mech walked around to the other side of the berth where Barricade stood. His servo reached out, lightly curling his digits over ‘Cade’s shoulder. The small black and purple bot barely seemed to register him. He only seemed to have optics for Venus. One servo held her servo from below, and the other was placed on top of it as he rubbed circles into the back of her hand.

“The medic already told us she’s going to be okay,” Blackout said quietly. “It was just shock and a lot of energon loss.”

Tearing his optics away from her, Barricade glanced up to him with pain. “I... I hurt her.”

“No, ‘Cade-”

“Yes, I did,” he snarled, turning back to her. “I froze when I saw Shockwave. I didn’t know what to do. I was just- stunned. The memory hit me so hard, I didn’t even know what was happening. And then not only did she get hurt, but when she tried to comfort me, I felt it. I wanted to tear into her wrist, I wanted to drain her-”

Blackout squeezed his shoulder roughly so that he stopped speaking suddenly. He passed a sideways look to the medic, whose optics appear to grow paler from the conversation. To his credit, he was pretending not to pay attention and hastily but effectively was pulling out more pieces of thin razor-thin metal from Venus’ body.

“None of that is your fault,” the massive mech rumbled. “You suffered a lot at his servos. You’re not weak or at fault because you relapsed into a flashback. She’s going to be fine. And she’ll forgive you.”

“You protected her and us all when you went to directly confront Shockwave,” Novastrike softly added on. “And you were the one who she trusted to help lead her to safety.”

“I was also the one who refused to let you take her because I was desperate,” he muttered.

Blackout shrugged. “You love her. She eases the burden on your spark. She’s helped you to feel normal despite all of this. I can’t say that I blame you for not wanting her out of your sight. You didn’t want to become unhinged, wondering if she was okay, where she was, blinded by fear.”

Barricade shrugged off his servo and turned his faceplate away. A brief vent escaped him as he solemnly spoke: “It doesn’t take away the fact I was being selfish and stupid.”

Drawing his optic ridges together with concern, Blackout glanced on his shoulder over to Novastrike for guidance. She was the one who was good at this kind of scrap. He was still learning how to do this whole comforting thing. It used to be so fragging easy to cheer up ‘Cade. But that was back when a slapstick joke could get them by.

She reached out, lightly patting him on the cheek as she mouthed, “Give him some time.”

Venting sharply, he gave a small nod of understanding. Speaking carefully, he looked back to Barricade as he announced, “Novastrike and I got word that the mech returned with a group of bots to help construct the intergalactic transmitter for us. We need to go meet them and discuss payment, as well as the location for the structure and see about what other supplies they’ll still be needing. Will you be alright left in here alone? We’ll return as soon as we’re done with our meeting.”

“Yeah,” ‘Cade murmured tiredly. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stay here with Venus.”

The medic turned a terrified glance to Blackout, but he ignored it. Much as ‘Cade might yell at him later for it, he would ask the rouges to see if they’d be willing to put a bot in the med-bay to keep watch for the time being. ‘Cade didn’t need another lapse into his feral Terrorcon state without someone around large enough to try containing him, or the consequences or burden of regret he’d carry later on would devastate him.

Raising a servo up to lightly caress Novastrike’s side, Blackout turned to depart the office. The doors opened and closed behind him with a cranking of old-style gears as he left, the medic almost sweating bullets to be standing alone with one beautifully unconscious femme and her diseased partner standing nearby.

No matter the gentleness and loving expression on his faceplate as he touched Venus, it mattered little to the elder bot. His servos shook slightly before steadying as he got back to work. He had to dig deep to remain professional calm on the exterior for the time being.

[rxbelling-hxrald]

(@ray-cherry-blossoms) 1,4,5,6,7,8, 13,18,19,21,22,23,25 (such a long list omg sorry but I'm jus too curious )

Describe Your OC

Warning! Very long post! so under read more to avoid filling up the majority of your dashboards xD. This took so long to do but I’m pretty happy with all of this, so I welcome all to read it.

1: their voice

My current voice claim to Dan’s voice - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0OKZS5cBMU (Talion from ME: Shadow of ‘Series’ voiced by Troy Baker)

Despite being of demon origin, his more humane side must be evident at all times, an oddly somewhat gruff but gentle shade evident that can turn cold and serious within an instant. Its not much of a singing voice.

But while his voice is rather firm, it holds a clear vulnerability that displays when he is clueless or is filled with sorrow/concern.

I believe Talion’s voice/mannerisms are a good representative of how Dan speaks, minus the Middle Earth terms.

4: their insecurities

In general Dan is an insecure wreck, he’s just a decent act at covering his true thoughts up for the most part, though even they can be seen with minor mannerisms that will be displayed,

With people, he always feels like everyone is judging him for better or worse, even the strangers he passes by in the street with no interaction given in the slightest, this is in fact why crowds make him quite paranoid over extended time amongst them. It makes Dan feel worse that due to his specific lack of interaction during his younger years it makes him crave it yet wish to avoid people and lessen the risks of doing something to upset them, by completely minimizing the chance to 0 by no interactions at all.

In other respects, Dan’s inward confidence is quite lacking, always doubting himself, why he even exists and is there any true point to his resistance? to any whom asked or saw him in action, most may think he’s a cocky shit, but to Dan, the few victories he gains is nothing when a war against countless odds is always his opposition…..why bother fighting when he has nothing else? Dan would say its his will or his strength that keeps him going, but the truth is he’s scared, relying solely on his survival instincts.

These worries and insecurities ease up greatly when he’s with a friend or someone he trusts, but this in turn leads to a brand new one surfacing in the back of his mind. Dan doesnt wish to be an annoyance to his new found friend and risk ruining it, enjoying the experience and wishing to stick with them for as long as possible, If given the chance Dan may never actually leave someone’s side, but both wishing to respect their space and his own paranoia, Dan deliberately feels its best to avoid his friends until its a given they want to see him. his heart says stay but his mind says go due to the risks he may bring upon them should he stay with one for too long.

5: their shortcomings

An obvious one though is improving with time is his mindset, or in more general terms. ‘Common Sense’. Dan usually goes by simply what he deems right or what is needed, it doesnt matter what others think or if there is a rule/law against it, if he thinks it, that’s what is happening. This can lead to a variety of outcomes be they either hilarious or dangerous.

On a similar note is his general awareness, this can be related to the likes of the immediate area around him, a world’s history, people’s names or actions, even basic tasks. Unless he’s had experience in a regard before. Dan’s most likely going to be terrible or clueless on the subject at hand. Due to the majority of his life being only revolving around fighting and on the run…it can count towards a vast majority of topics.

These things are also what causes his great deal of passive actions when accompanying others, normally doing nothing of his own accord unless instructed or advised unless its a dangerous situation, preferring otherwise to stay back and wait to see what others want him to do to avoid risks to their more likely ‘logical’ plans.

6: how they deal with grief

Initially, he does nothing, letting it build up in his mental psyche more and more.

As time passes he’ll come back to it when doing nothing and brood over all the negative thoughts, usually getting himself in a rotten mood or even more paranoid about something.

But depending on the degree of the problems, Dan’s method to dealing with grief or any sort of mental downfall is to let it out via his aggression, he’ll find something to let out all his rage and sorrow, destroying an object or objects utterly in the process on most occasions.

This stands too for someone who may try to fight him in this state, he’d likely spend hours beating them senseless to the extent they’d need to be hospitalized…..or worse.

Luckily, He’ll do this in his free time and far away from population heavy areas.

7: how they like to dress

While having no true fashion sense due to lack of any kind of ‘clothing’ back in the demon realm. Dan is pretty open towards all clothing designs and shapes.

If Dan had a variety of clothes at his disposal he’d be the sort to wear the first thing he saw in his wardrobe, regardless if the colors matched or not with the rest of what he had on.

However as some may have noticed he has particular love towards his black overcoat and has adopted a ‘gothic’ mindset towards clothes, usually featuring all black as he feels its just cool and goes well with his need to stay out of sight, though this only really plays a good part at night, in day he’ll stand out pretty openly unless hidden somewhere.

In terms of styles, Dan also has an appreciation towards fancier/refined outfits, such as tuxedos or an officer’s uniform. most likely because its the complete opposite as to what he is in Dan’s eyes, a nobody. That and they look ‘Cool’

8: what they like to eat

There is no true answer to this question as Dan will and has eaten just about anything put in front of him and found it edible in comparison to the filth he had in the demon realm.

But in his time visiting and exploring other realms, Dan has been proven to have a sweet tooth, loving almost any kind of assortment and sweets. if it has sugar, he’ll love it. He’s also big on meat, having a clear favoritism towards Beef, Chicken, Lamb.

He’s not overly picky though so he’ll eat practically everything and anything put in front of him.

13: their embarrassing memory from years ago

During his younger years he doesn’t really have an ‘embarrassing’ memory per se, since most of his life back then wasnt even ‘his’ life, being strictly made to follow training and survival as if he were possessed. He saw and remembers it all but it wasnt his own control until he was a teen, by then he knew nothing but the dark life in front of him.

18: how they sleep

Regardless of his form he always sleeps in the same respect.

He’ll curl up to himself as close as he can, usually his hands and knees tightly closed together, wrap whatever he has available around himself, be it a cover, his coat and etc, only his head will be sticking out of it in which he’ll eventually fall asleep.

During his sleep his position changes depending on how well or badly his dreams/nightmares go. If he’s getting a good rest his body will slowly loosen up and resemble to him laying on his back with his arms and legs outstretched, usually his feet sticking out from the covers since they’ll still be pulled so close.

But if its bad, he’ll toss and turn, constantly mumble to himself and tighten himself up further, usually resulting in him getting sore joints and muscles. The worse case scenario is he’ll wake up screaming or gasping for air, from there he wont bother sleeping anymore and will stay awake until his body practically forces him to sleep.

19: their reaction to betrayal

This depends on the level of betrayal and the reasoning, there is no clear cut answer so here is the best and worst case scenarios.

Best? He’ll remember it, while he will forgive, he’ll never quite trust again and will openly curse the betrayer’s name both to them and to others, it would take a long time to repair the damage.

Worst? He’ll label them as nothing more than a future target, spending his free time trying to hunt the betrayer down and chase them via whatever means possible, potentially with those whom also share a hatred or have reasons to be rid of that person. Should he catch them….they’ll be beaten to a bloody pulp, he wouldn’t kill them, but he’d openly state that once they recovered, he’d do it again so they suffered more.

21: how they react to pain

One of two ways, usually depending on the level and cause of it.

One, he’ll gasp in shock from the pain, try to do something to deal with it, fail, ignore or shrug it off and then continue with what he was doing.

Two, Immediately give into anger and start lashing out at whatever he can find that he could use to relieve himself, he’d never target a person unless they were generally bad or the person that caused the pain in the first place.

22: what they’re like on two hours of sleep

Dan would still be very alert and active with such a small amount of sleep, his time of being paranoid and keeping watch from potential dangers around him back in the demon realm made him adopt this natural trait of being resistant to lack of sleep and make the most of minimal amounts of it.

The main difference would come when he eventually did fall asleep again, most likely no one would be able to wake him up regardless of methods if he was truly exhausted. A truly deep sleep.

23: how they act when they’re sick

Very moody and irritable, he’ll frequently shoo away everyone that approaches him, even those he knows well, occasionally even brief temperament problems as he’ll suddenly hit something near him as if to try and relieve his stress.

However his own arrogance would make him believe he could deal with whatever sickness he had and go about his business as usual, so even if he had a serious illness, you’d need to literally lock him up somewhere, otherwise he’d just keep wandering out.

Dan recovers from sickness quickly, but not because he’s resistant to it, his body accelerates the ‘cleansing/healing’ process.This usually means that even the common cold will feel 10x worse to Dan than to someone else as he goes through all the worst symptoms and effects all at once. Imagine the more severe or even dangerous illnesses, Dan would pass through their effects within hours.

He has a reason for being very moody while sick, now you know.

25: why you enjoy them

This is actually very hard for me to answer, i have a few reasons while also trying to avoid the generic ‘well he’s my OC’ answer.

I truly enjoy a simple concept, the main concept of what Dan is, a concept that I’m is done better with many other characters and OCs, be it by their depths, the values/descriptions held by their muns.

Dan is a stranger, a stranger in another world, another plain of thought and understanding. logic, morals, everything you can possibly conceive…Dan’s a foreigner to it. Its like how we look at cultures and mindsets in the world today, Dan to me is kinda a representative to the idea of it happening in other settings.

At first you think, oh, so its just about seeing perspectives? or what if scenarios? kinda yes and no at the same time, because there’s one final thing to note I love about Dan.

He’s utterly stupid!

I like to imagine Dan is a child in an adult’s body. he’s trying to look strong, he’s trying to look like he knows what he’s doing, to others that see him, they may look at him as someone not to mess with, or someone that knows his goal. But the truth of it is they couldn’t be more wrong!

Dan doesnt know what he wants, he thinks he does, but he doesnt! he doesnt understand the concepts of living! Again, he thinks he does, he looks at himself as some poor soul who needs to stop a terrible evil from happening and that is all that matters. The thought of other possibilities just don’t come across his limited concepts.

But as he interacts, as he meets people, he explores their worlds, sees what there is, understands their thoughts, their lives….he slowly gets closer to understanding, that life is ever changing and there is more to it than just what he thinks there is.

And when he has these little revolutions in his thoughts, no matter how slight, no matter how common they may actually be to everyone else. I cant help but smile that as he develops himself, I’m developing with him as a writer, allowing me to be even more free with what I do with him.

Throw in the whole ordeal of him being this supposedly really powerful being that has little understanding of his own capabilities, his limited mindset, it creates a fascinating dynamic or at least to me, that the world he’s in will form what he will become in the long run…..

Its why every interaction Dan has with someone else, feels all so important to me, I’m not the best with descriptions, I’m not the best at conveying things or even using much variety in my wordplay. But those he meets with are all critical pillar stones in his development, no matter how minor or major our interactions are. Dan will remember, he will adapt and when the time comes…..what your muse did with him or against him…it’ll effect what he does in the end of things.