#the clownery speaks for itself

[accio-victuuri]

some minor candies dumped together.

my motto is that some bits in this fandom seem small sometimes but you will never know when it will be useful to piece things together in the future.

let’s start with this. HAHAHAHAHA! i always love the contrast between them. zz all cutesy and sweet then you have yibo in a supposed cute fit but that serious face. i love them please! 🥹🥹🥹🥹

moving on to the lovely this or that video released by jimmy choo on their instagram. he was asked whether he prefers skateboards or bike. i guess it’s a no brainer that he will answer skateboard because that has always been his passion but for some reason he answered bikes. maybe he’s doing another thing related to it that we know nothing about.

but it makes us think of another person who loves to go biking. thinking about them doing this activity together as a form of exercise is nice!

maybe we are overthinking it the way we usually do but it’s so out of the expected yibo answer. 🤷🏻‍♀️ plus knowing how prominent a “bike” pops up in xz vlogs. actually, even in the ideal life painting you have a bike.

speaking of jimmy choo, that had it’s own clownery in on itself. lol. these poses from our boys:

I’m so so proud of them for being global brand ambassadors from these brands and continuing to dominate c-ent in their own way/s. with little to no scandal. and how their photos always seem to match. i swear it’s not just the cpf in me that sees these and goes they look good together. they really do even if you are a passerby.

of course xzs and ybo have to join in and give us some sweets. both of the caption saying let’s start… // let’s listen.. so in that way it’s similar. and you have that emoji. at this point the way these two teams seem to have the same posting style is not new. adding this to the very long list 📝

this one is my favorite. so lately, ybo has been posting these sort of postcards to promote ETU. largely with actual snaps from the show which are obviously provided by the production team. but this one photo released seems so special cause it’s an artwork. and yes, a huge part of this is because i’m a cpf and gg as yibo’s personal artist has always been a headcanon truth among us.

however, look ⬇️⬇️⬇️

it seems to have that same style/feel as xz’s previous works. that almost whimsical feel and how it’s colored.

fans even did an edit. do you see it now? ✨

-END.

[homestuckredo]

Lots and LOTS have happened in the few days I haven't updated. But Hussie FINALLY took a day off so I have the chance to review in peace!!

First off we have new rules for the captchalogue system, including a size limit to digify items AND the potential to increase the upper limit (hasn't happened yet, but the office card speaks volumes). John has also opened the massive tomb "Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery"

and NOTHING useful for actually pranking someone of course (honestly disappointed there are no practical tips in this page). The picture in the middle looks a dead ringer for Mark Twain tho... idk if it is supposed to be Sassacre or just a collage of 1900's looking clownery and Twain's pic is public domain. I guess we'll see.... We also have a brandy new room to explore, complete with last years Dark Knight Joker on the piano. AND WE HAVE SOUND. OMG WE HAVE SOUND!! I think i've played the piano refrain a dozen times its so beautiful!! I'm starting to get the hang of Hussie's emotional whiplash between 4chan humor, niche commercials, and haunting, beautiful and poetic moments. Moments filled with niche media literacy, that he then lies about the source of. I have to look up so many quotes just to be sure who said it guys. So much homework!!! (>.<)

But is does lead into the best part of the updates. WE MADE IT OUTSIDE.

Not only that BUT we have a beautiful animated title page, complete with neverending wind-chimes and a haunting monologue of emptiness and the feeling of missing something unknown.

"The streets are empty. Wind skims the voids keeping neighbors apart, as if grazing the hollow of a cut reed, or say, a plundered mailbox. A familiar note is produced. It's the one Desolation plays to keep its instrument in tune. It is your thirteenth birthday, and as with all twelve preceding it, something feels missing from your life. The game presently eluding you is only the latest sleight of hand in the repertoire of an unseen riddler, one to engender a sense not of mirth, but of lack. His coarse schemes are those less of a prankster than a common pickpocket. His riddle is Absence itself. It is a mystery dispersing altogether, like the moon's faint reflection, with even one pebble of inquiry dropped in its black well. It is the most diabolical riddle of all. "Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." -Walt Whitman Yes, you are certain Walt Whitman said that. One hundred percent positive. You have a feeling it's going to be a long day."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld said that... not Walt Whitman. I am starting to think John reads a LOT of classic literature and is not a great narrator. I am not an English Major OR Literature Major tho, so this means little to me in the grand scheme of plots and subtext. Moving on.

we have two packages found at last and a visible SBURB disc.... trapped with father who may or may not be baking yet ANOTHER cake. more small mysteries and conflict to hold onto XD Finally, as we go back inside... the cake did not hold as adhesive and our harlequin doll is now missing an arm. Tragedy. Throw it in the fire. PLEASE. Since this has been a lot of updates together I am afraid I have missed things and underplayed just how much were in the last 20 pages... so if you notice anything else let me know!! I wanna see it all!.

[atla-confessions]

'Lmao is some kataang dipshit really in here acting like sexism against men is an actual issue 😂

I don’t even need to say anything, this kind of clownery speaks for itself'

zutara shipper here, of course it's an issue. sexism is wrong, if it's against women or men. Check your heart.

X

[lemonhemlock]

many people's hatred of helaemond (me included) comes from all ugly implications of adultery and possible illegitimacy of children. which is why blacks pretend to love helaemond so much - because it lowers helaena (and everyone in this triangle) to rhae-rhae's level of dirt and mess. they want to revel in this humiliation of greens. they act so righteous, they pretend to be pious and dutiful, but look how they "really" are! the helaemond itself is alright ship if executed properly (what these writers will never do) - courtly love never consummated, or idk aegon/helaena married had all these kids then divorced and only then aemond swoops in - something that doesn't take away from their virtues. helaemond as imagined by average black stan is insulting out of character garbage.

and herein lies the problem, which i'm going to describe as two-fold. first is the "dutiful" interpretation, over which i've already been ten thousand times, so i'm not going to repeat myself, apart from pointing out that nothing about aemond's relationship with alys is dutiful in the first place. it goes against his "honour" and "virtue" as the baratheon girl's betrothed and jeopardises a vital military alliance for his brother's war, thus possibly threatening the lives of his entire family. aemond obviously has a very complicated relationship with duty, to pretend otherwise is reductive, so i fail to see him dynamiting his brother's marriage (who he is jealous of) as particularly OOC.

i've had it suggested to me that dutiful aemond stops being dutiful only after b&c, bc that is the point he starts spiralling and letting loose. and, while that's certainly a valid interpretation & i don't begrudge people having it, it's strange to insist with such zeal it's the only possible interpretation. "aemond stops being dutiful on day X of month Y at Z o'clock" does not feel super organic to me and is more in line with a child stomping his foot on the floor bc he was refused a piece of candy. it's giving "because i say so" explanation vibes. it's not outrageous to point out that the desire and drive are already there, even before storm's end, even if they are repressed, and build a dynamic on top of that which, yes, might lead him down a path of (self)-sabotage. that angst and guilt and pathos are actually part of the appeal

secondly, the bastard question is not really a problem when the children look exactly like they're supposed to. aegon, aemond & helaena are already pretty inbred with their sibling-grandparents and sibling-great-grandparents - it's very plausible for them to be sufficiently genetically-similar that any children they might have would look very much alike anyway. rhaenyra's clownery in this regard was many-fold, in the sense that, not only was the phenotype of her children nigh impossible to pass off as reasonable, but they also had v distinct features like pug noses that only harwin had. helaena's kids are not going to be born with sapphires in their eye socket. remember that cersei & jaime were able to get away with it bc they look v similar that the children all looked like cersei anyway and that was enough. in any case, this is something i've also been over already more times than i can count at this point, so i'm not going to get into it again

i would characterize these "issues" more like differences of opinion, certainly not something to garner this level of vitriol to the point where other greens are feeling unwelcome in green spaces and are afraid to express their like of this ship so as to not get hounded, as i've had anons tell me in the past and as you can see on twitter. it's not the East-West Schism of 1054, yet people are acting like their life depends on saving the greens' virtue. speaking of which, i would assign them a lot of interesting traits, but virtuous would not exactly appear in that particular semantic field

lastly, perhaps it's because i don't seek out team black accounts, but i've never really encountered this TB version of helaemond. the content i've seen was from team green adjacent people or, at the very least, fans who liked characters from both sides and were not really tribalistic, which seems fine? i can't say i've read all 500 helaemond fics on ao3 but i've skimmed through quite a few - enough to say that i don't really remember any written by team black stans and none that used helaemond in such a way you've described, like this tool to demean the greens and insult them. how many could there actually be for this to become a true problem? if i stumbled upon one i can always hit the back button and continue scrolling until i find something else

[cyarsk52-20]

I wouldn't be mad if Megan came out with a song that called out every person in the industry by name who shitted on her during that trial… lyrically destroy them! The fact that there are still people defending him disgusts me. I’ll never understand this obsession with wanting assault victims to be liars. i will get back to my rant in a moment but i need to say that i always want the world to burn and pay for their crimes for their mistreatment of black women.

it’s not just meg. Rihanna, Kelis, Tina Turner, Ashanti, Keke Palmer, Dee Barnes, Michel'le, & so many other Black women were done wrong

Aaliyah never really came forward. But when the news broke that she was illegally married to R. Kelly she was shamed as if she wasn’t a victim. You can literally look up what happened during that time. Her industry peers was still working with him & didn’t give a damn.

Robin Givens was framed as a “gold digger” & was victim blamed after Mike Tyson abused. The Black community was terrible to her. Despite Mike Tyson saying in his book that punching Robin Givens “was the best punch I've ever thrown in my entire life.”…

People were nasty as hell to K Michelle when she accused Memphitz of abusing her. Only for him to later admit that he actually abused her. I can’t recall anyone who dogged her out in his defense recanting or even apologizing for the harm they brought to her.

Biggie used to abuse tf out of Lil Kim & instead of people acknowledging what happened to her they just rush to talk about her plastic surgeries (as a result of abuse btw)

Karruche, Tyra Banks , Kimora Lee Simmons , Tisha Campbell etc. all lost jobs and opportunities for speaking up

The police leaked Rihanna’s nude pictures from her phone. Nas & Dr Dre are still pillars in the community. People made fun of Keke hiding from Trey. The women of love & hip hop basically told K. Michelle she was lying. Like come the tf on. Society doesn’t care about victims especially if they are black.

if you support a nasty person who hates bw and intentionally harms them and abusers, then you’re dead to me and you can go to hell you abuser and anti bw slut!

Now back to that Canadian pos.

It’s the way he’s gone out of his way so many times to avoid accountability and paint him as innocent it’s disgusting. The narcissism. The sociopathy. The way he played the victim

Overall, Tory’s ego is why he is in the predicament that he’s in. Not because of him shooting a woman (a problem in itself). Had he owned up to what he did & took a plea deal, he would’ve been better off. He would have never had to face two decades of prison and deportation, just a couple of years in jail and that’ would be it.

& We all know folks love an abuser redemption arc. I just see it now “he took accountability for what he did” “he changed” “he’s showing growth”.. So folks would’ve ate that up! 🙃🙃 like you can’t redeem those who haven’t genuinely repented

God really blessed him with the worst team/lawyers possible. Still remember his lawyer acting a fool. “Y’all come back with a not guilty verdict yet?” He really thought social media was the judge and jury 🤣😂🤣😂

He thought the fact other misogynists and abusers were loudly backing him meant he would've gotten off. Womp womp!

she more of a real nigga than him. she was just gone let that shit ride but he started talking shit. He should have been grateful that she didn’t turn his dusty behind to the cops at the crime scene at first, she was gonna let him off the hook and was willing to let the whole situation go as well? She was being extremely gracious but he chose clownery, he still decided to run his mouth & drag her on the internet now he’s jailed. It’s what he deserves.

the fact that she literally tried to protect him from the police at first despite what he did to her. she was literally willing to let it go and try to move on, HE dragged it and was in the blogs calling her a liar.

Literally or just not say anything if no one else was saying anything he decided to drag it a be corny

if a mf show you mercy, just take that lesson and keep it pushing. At the very least be grateful. Most people would have turned that person who shot them that same night and called the cops. When people grace you you better not take it for granted.

I swear people be getting too big for they britches and think fat meat ain’t greasy.

i say this all the time not once did he show a ounce of empathy or even keep quiet , he was antagonizing her for a whole 2 years straight being the ring leader having ppl encourage his disgusting behavior, Literally all he has to blame is his ego. Megan had no initial intention of cooperating with the state/cops or outing him as the shooter. He could have gotten away with this if he wasn't such an egotistical, opportunistic, entitled, sociopathic, narcissistic, misogynist prick. so now he’ll have plenty of time to think about his actions and I hope they deport that leprechaun with the quickness 🫶🏾 .

It’s definitely his fault and I’m glad to see him burn.

[cto10121]

R&J Clown Takes Special Edition—TV Tropes Still Exists

Popped into that old swamp for an idle Inuyasha check-up and suddenly got the bright idea to check its R&J page and see whether it still kept up its clownery. A lot of the worst offenses has been mercifully cleaned-up, but there is still some really tasty clownery, meet for this blog. So hie ho, let’s go

~Obvious Aesop!!!!

Already this one paragraph contains so much clownery. Such fresh and succulent meat cannot be good for you, alas. But I shall bear it for ye, my readers.

1. High school teachers teach love story so wrong!!! So I can’t speak for every high school English teacher out there, but as I was in training for the shit, let me tell you: The schools do 90% gun hard for the “cautionary tale/R&J’s tragic flaw was their impulsivity” element, with an added “Who is really responsible/the true villain for R&J’s deaths!!!” Very juvenile, but schools have to school, which means coming up with an Aesop, no matter how ill-fitting.

2. Elizabethan audiences would have seen—!!! Now this is just plain bullshitting. What evidence we have the Elizabethan reception of R&J has been consistently that of a very popular tragedy—the Second Quarto was titled “The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy.” In an elegy to the late Richard Burbage, who played Romeo and countless other Shakespearean lead roles, the author wrote this:

Poor Romeo never more shall tears beget

For Juliet’s love and cruel Capulet.

This is a very positive portrayal of Romeo, Juliet, and the play itself, with an added slight at the feuding families. It also suggests that Capulet’s forcing Juliet to marry Paris left a very big impression on the Elizabethans. Romeo was definitely not seen as a Lothario but as a tragic hero.

3. Most 17th/18th century playgoers universally disliked it!!! Samuel Pepys is the only one that comes to mind, but even then he said only that the play was “the worst that ever I heard in my life, and the worst acted that ever I saw these people do.” Not that the play itself was coarse and brutal.

I’m not sure of the others, but considering they were writing in the neo-classism-loving milieu of the 17th century, Shakespeare’s dramatic realism would have been abhorrent to their sensibilities. That does not mean that the play itself is coarse. Just the 17th century being 17th century.

For the last time, there was no such thing as romance as a genre in Shakespeare’s day. The main genres were comedies, tragedies, pastoral, histories. Shakespeare’s later plays were experiments in tragicomedy. The romance plays are more kin to fantasy/sci-fi. Rom-com style plots (commedia dell’arte) were very much a thing, but they didn’t constitute their own genre—they were all under the comedy umbrella.

R&J establishes itself as a tragedy from the word go and literally every scene would have been full of red flags to the Elizabethans—Juliet at 13 urged to consider marriage, the Prince’s doom, Tybalt’s rage, and even the Nurse’s comedy about toddler!Juliet inadvertently making a double entendre. They would not have been at all surprised, because the tragic outcome was both explicitly stated in the Chorus and was well-foreshadowed by Shakespeare.

“Characters mock the main characters—” As said before, there are none. Mercutio mocks Romeo’s infatuation with Rosaline; he does not know about Juliet. The Friar is frustrated, bewildered, and even angry, but he does not mock Romeo; he takes him seriously. Benvolio is genuinely concerned.

Chopped Logic

TV Tropes literally had the perfect answer in Rule of Symbolism, but alas, it just had to keep going.

No, Romeo’s choice of poison over a dagger doesn’t imply unmanliness in this context. Considering that he almost killed himself with his own dagger when he thought Juliet had rejected him and he killed Tybalt and Paris with swords, it can be argued that Romeo, ironically, is the most tied to the weapon save Tybalt. He is the one male character who wields it the most effectively, anyway, and the one character with the most kills in the play.

Occam’s Razor here, but for my part? It’s the erotic symbolism. Again, Shakespeare’s framing of the lovers’ suicide as romantic-erotic is part-and-parcel with the thematic concerns of the play overall.

I have a whole-ass tag dedicated to analyzing the play and why the play as a whole is not critical of Romeo and Juliet’s relationship. On the contrary, it develops and exploits their love connection shamelessly, even giving them the best and most powerful lines and a full arc from obedient teens to courageous if vulnerable tragic heroes.

Their tragic end doesn’t even come at any of their actions, but the most dangerous and significant force of them all: The literal plague. It wasn’t a case of a faulty mailing system. Shakespeare literally used THE PLAGUE, which had ravished London for the better part of two years, as a plot point to doom the lovers. Shakespeare was not fucking around. He went so damn hard we’re still talking about it 400 years later.

As for the relationship moving absurdly fast, we literally have 2/3rds of all Shakespearean couples marrying at the end of their plays. Plays are not novels; all events must be condensed into the two and a half hours of their story. Hence the popularity of instalove as a trope and quick courtships.

Ooh, about time these antis weaponized the Pyramus and Thisbe show in AMND against R&J. Unfortunately for them, I’ve been expecting this.

So the Pyramus and Thisbe show in Midsummer is brilliant in that the bulk of the comedy lies not in making fun of the story, but in making fun of amateur writing and acting—as in, the execution. It is riddled with all the hallmarks of bad writing and acting at all levels:

The players getting worried that the ladies would take the Lion as a real one and be frightened, so they write a fourth wall breaking speech for the actor

Creating whole-ass characters for The Wall and Moonshine to denote the literal wall and moon…when they could literally just say, “There’s a wall” or “It is night.”

The actors constantly forgetting their lines and not obeying punctuation and proper line reading

Just bad writing overall (“I see a voice!”)

Of course, Shakespeare was also flexing his skills at turning a tragedy into a comedy and (eventually) vice versa. But given that he would go on to write similar couples who fall in love immediately or very quickly (the love quartet in Love’s Labor’s Lost, Rosalind and Orlando, Fernando and Miranda, etc.) without satire, he most likely didn’t think the trope was inherently comic…or that his own carefully considered and very popular play of the same theme was crappy.

Also, consider Midsummer was written around the same time as R&J, to the point where academics like to call them sister plays.

R&J just never got a chance to fall in love properly, guys. 😔 Their love was doomed only to remain stagnant at the shallow teen lust level 🥺 So tragic, so sad.

So falling in love /= courtship/dating. R&J never had a fulsome courtship for obvious reasons and are denied a chance to, but it’s undeniable that in the narrative they did fall in love. After the initial attraction of the Courtship Sonnet, they even managed to woo at the balcony scene. Their love is well established, so much so that more courtship would honestly been superfluous.

Shakespeare could have followed his source, Brooke’s poem, and the longer courtship there (three months, I think). But there Romeus and Juliet’s relationship is even less convincing than R&J’s. Dudes just fucked around for three months doing da sexy times!!! It reads, pretty much, that Romeus and Juliet only got married for the sex, which is not too far off given Brooke’s explicit agenda.

Meanwhile Shakespeare!R&J talk, woo, and decide to get married and…actually do it. And then consummate their marriage properly. Huh. Almost as if…they really are serious about each other and don’t just want fun sexy times.

Here Come Our Philosophers

*studio audience groan* Not this shit again. This is one of those quotes that sounds profound but are really just absurd.

Suffice to say that R&J has a…very ambivalent reception among modern teens. In fact, I’d wager that most teenagers dislike/don’t care for R&J more than they do. I can assure you that it’s a particularly hard sell in YA unless changed to fit the tropes. Modern teens and even older ones, it turns out, don’t like unhappy endings to their ships.

Because while the play is sympathetic to the youths and their perspective…it’s a very adult kind of sympathy. And, in the end, understanding. Had it really taken a youthful perspective, R&J would just be another boring, trite power fantasy of super special teens who beat the odds—only instead of Chosen One shenanigans it’s you and your lover triumphing over your lameass parents and living happily ever after.

No teen (and adults too—it’s a human quality) truly believes their relationship will not last. Logically, they may acknowledge the possibility, but in the heat of it all, no. Shakespeare, though, does not indulge either teen or adult fantasies. He, frankly, didn’t give a fuck. He is a poet of nature—he writes how humans actually act, not how we think we should act.

I have already addressed why I don’t think this particular legend is true, but I’ll deal with it here too.

Suffice to say, Mercutio was a character in Brooke’s poem, though a courtier and suitor to Juliet. Shakespeare changed him into Romeo’s friend and foil, which means that he almost certainly planned to kill him off.

Shakespeare’s Tybalt is a belligerent character, but one who takes honor and dueling seriously, so he would have never attacked Romeo when the latter refused him as Brooke’s Tybalt did in the poem. Thus, a sacrifice needed to be made, some very good reason as to why Romeo would consent to fight Tybalt. And since Benvolio is as close to a pacifist as this play gets, that role falls to Mercutio. This legend is definitely 17th century fanon.

Only Sane Man I get, but…Deadpan Snarker? What? The only thing close to snark that Benvolio gets (in my memory, anyway) is “She will indite him to some supper,” mocking the Nurse’s malapropisms. Definitely not deadpan. Romeo trolls more (“One that God hath made, himself to mar”; A gentleman who speaks more in a minute than he would stand to in a month”) than Benvolio, especially with regards to Mercutio. Weird.

[anothersebastianblog]

CDAN update calling this pic her last attempt to prolong the impression of rs still going on is writing itself as we speak, probably // and it was posted a while ago🫣

The clownery if a blind item really gets published

[kindahoping4forever]

A Little Bit Scandalous, Baby Don’t Let Them See It // Ashton Irwin

There’s really not much explanation for this one. Last month when the content started dropping from Calum’s birthday weekend at The Invisible House, my clown brain took over and I got an idea that just wouldn’t leave. I then unfortunately developed a migraine that also wouldn’t leave (lol) so I didn’t get to write this for a few weeks but once I sat down to do it, it was done in basically a day. I don’t often do plotless smut but I’ve decided to own this filth for what it is. Thanks to @cal-puddies​​ for convincing me not to add 2500 more words of justification and also for letting me know when I was describing this idea that I “went a little too Daddy” and it needed to be an Ash story even though it was about Cal’s birthday 😂

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash meets Dom!Ash vibes including a fair amount of dirty talk, a few uses of “Daddy,” some general manhandling and loving roughness. Unprotected sex in an established relationship, brief oral sex on a male, hints of voyeurism/exhibitionism

Word Count: 2.8k

Masterlist  // Ko-Fi linked above (New taglist sign-up coming soon)

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

“The bedrooms are all clear!”

“Well, the whole house is all clear, babe, that’s kind of the point.”

“That joke hasn’t gotten any funnier since the first time you tried it, Ash.”

Your boyfriend rushes up behind you and slides his hands into the back pockets of your jeans, squeezing your ass through the material. “You’ve missed my jokes and you know it,” he insists, his loud laugh echoing through the seemingly endless room.

You hate to admit it but he wasn’t entirely wrong. You and Ashton hadn’t seen each other very much lately; your days were spent working from home, too exhausted on most days to make it over to his place for a visit while his schedule was consumed by the band starting work on their new album.

The guys had recently taken to going on mini getaways out to the desert to work; it was clear they missed travelling together as much as they missed playing music and this was a fun and safe way for them to combine the two amidst the ongoing lockdown. When they decided to plan their latest session for the week of Calum’s birthday and make it a “family trip” by inviting their significant others to join, you were thrilled.

Through some of her connections, Crystal was able to book a trendy lodging known as The Invisible House. With a pool running alongside the living area, floor to ceiling glass windows and an entirely mirrored exterior, the property was truly a sight to behold. You drove yourself out to Joshua Tree on Friday after work and spent the weekend lounging, catching up and exploring with everybody.

For you, the one flaw in the house’s design was that it was built as one long continuous rectangle, with only the occasional partition used to divide rooms, so as not to disrupt the lush views. While the desert surroundings were undeniably gorgeous, you would’ve much rather been surrounded by Ashton. You assumed a weekend away would’ve meant some quality time getting reacquainted with each other’s bodies but with your friends always in such close proximity, the opportunity had not presented itself.

Until now, you think to yourself. Everyone was outside chatting and packing up the cars while you and Ash were assigned to do a walkthrough of the house to make sure nobody had left anything behind. Sierra and Luke had popped in about 10 minutes ago to say goodbye and from where you’re standing, you can see Calum, Crystal and Michael still trying to divide up their luggage and the band’s equipment between their cars.

You spin around in Ash’s hold, wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a heated kiss on him. You can tell he’s momentarily taken by surprise but he quickly responds to your passion, tangling his tongue with yours, letting his hands wander around your body.

“So then… you have missed my jokes?” He chuckles when you pull away, attaching your mouth to his neck.

You roll your eyes amusedly, moving to bite gently at his earlobe, tongue teasing around his earring. “We’re finally alone,” you say suggestively, hoping he’ll understand your meaning.

He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Uh-huh,” he says pointedly, pressing you tighter against him. “And I suppose that’s giving you ideas, isn’t it, baby?”

You smile coyly, holding his hands on you. “Well… I don’t know about you but I was certainly hoping we’d get some time together this weekend. It’s been a while, we’ve been so busy.”

Ashton grins. “Well… I did offer to take care of you last night.”

You give him A Look. “Sliding your hand down my pajama pants and offering to rub one out for me wasn’t really what I had in mind,” you counter wryly. “All while our friends were just a few feet away.”

A mischievous look crosses his face. “Our friends are just a few feet away now and you’re still coming on to me,” he points out, gesturing towards the vast windows surrounding you.

“It’s different. We’re in here, they’re out there. They can’t see us.”

He smirks at your statement, almost as if he was hoping you'd say that. “Is that so?”

“It’s mirrored glass,” you shrug impatiently, pulling his hand in the direction of the bedrooms.

Ash clearly has other plans, pulling you back into him and kissing you so deeply your head spins. You don’t realize he’s walking you across the room until you feel your back hit the cool glass of the window. You pull away to ask what he’s up to but can’t quite find your words, the mark he’s sucking into your neck and the way his hands are gripping your tits under your shirt proving to be quite the distraction.

“Let’s go, baby,” you pant, squeezing his arms. “We don’t have a lot of time but I need you.”

He turns you around and presses you against the glass, rocking his hips against you, letting you feel that your desire is reciprocated. “If you’re so sure no one can see us, what’s wrong with me taking you right here?”

You recognize the edge in his voice and your body responds with a shiver; he always knows what you need before you do. “I’d like that,” you reply earnestly.

You hear the two forceful spanks his hand gives you before you feel them and you gasp when the sting registers. “I’ll fuckin’ bet you would... get my cock in you, get to fill your incessant need for attention by pretending that everyone can see what a filthy girl you are for me,” he taunts, undoing his belt. “But you’ll get off knowing that in reality I’m still the only one who gets to see you like that, isn’t that right, baby girl?”

You turn to face him, chest heaving but offering him a wide grin. It’s been too long since he’s had you like this. “Missed you, Daddy.”

“We’ll see about that,” he teases, leaning in to kiss you hard. He tugs at your shirt and pants as he pulls away. “Off.”

You purse your lips, not wanting to argue but also not seeing the point in getting undressed for what should be a quickie.

Before you can question him, Ashton explains. “If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do this right and that means you naked for me. Now.”

You bite your lip to keep from moaning as you watch him pull his cock out of his fly and begin stroking. You lock eyes with him before you start taking your clothes off but you notice his gaze roaming up and down your body as you disrobe. You can’t remember the last time you felt so powerful.

You stand bare in front of him, waiting for whatever comes next. It’s taking everything in you not to reach down and relieve some of the tension building between your legs but you know better.

He walks over to you, hard cock out and shamelessly demanding attention, distracting from his still fully clothed body. He wraps his hand around the back of your neck, his kiss much lighter on your lips than you expect, making you whimper with need. His tongue has just finished tracing over your bottom lip when he leans over to your ear and whispers the words you'd been hoping you'd earned: "Good girl."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he turns you back around and you quickly throw your hands out to brace against the glass, spreading your legs, hoping that your eager cooperation will win you some favor with him.

It’s bizarre looking out the window and seeing your trio of friends across from you, laughing and organizing their belongings while Ashton is breathing heavy on your neck, rutting between your ass cheeks a few times before dragging his fingers through your wetness, using it to slick up his cock.

“I’d remind you we need to make this quick but you’re so fuckin’ wet for me, I know it’s not gonna take much to make this needy pussy cum, is it, baby girl?”

You feel yourself throb in response and before you can even fathom responding, he’s sliding into you and suddenly that’s the only thing that matters. You hang your head and let out a long, low groan. “Yessss… fuck,” you moan as he slowly moves in and out of you, giving you a little more of his length each time.

“How long has it been, baby? You sure you can still take all of me?” He teases, leaning to rub at your clit a few times, enjoying the way it makes you squirm.

You breathe deep, appreciating the way he’s stretching you out, the way you always think you remember how good he feels inside you, only to realize that no memory even comes close to the reality of being wrapped around his cock. “Always feels like it’s been too long when you’re not in me, Daddy,” you pant, moving your hips to let him know you’re ready for more. “Need you all the time.”

“I know, baby,” he says sweetly, running his hand slowly down your back with a surprising gentleness. “Gonna give my baby girl what she needs.”

Ash quickly sets about making good on that promise, setting an ambitious pace for himself as he drives his cock inside you hard and deep. You can vaguely see your own reflection in the window and find yourself hypnotized by the way you respond to him; how your face contorts when he hits just where you want him to, the way your tits bounce as he moves against you, the force with which your entire body is propelled by his thrusts.

You feel the beginnings of something stirring in your core and without giving it a second thought, you slide a hand down to your clit, circling it to help yourself along. You’re alerted that Ashton has noticed your choice when you feel his hand tangle in your hair and yank your head back towards him.

“I don’t remember asking for help, baby girl,” he notes sternly. “You were being so good for me until now, too.” He pulls out and you whimper as your pussy continues to thrum, having been so close to climax but now so devastatingly empty.

“Don’t fuckin’ whine, just because you can’t behave doesn’t mean I'm gonna miss out on this pretty pussy makin’ me cum.”

He walks you closer to the glass, pressing your body up against the window and pinning your arms above your head before he pushes back in. He uses one hand to hold the both of yours while his other snakes around to toy with your clit. “How’s this, baby? Were you actually worried I wasn’t gonna make you cum? Disappointed you think I’d let you down like that,” he mocks, faux guilt dripping from his voice.

“No, Daddy, you’re always so good to me,” you murmur, senses overwhelmed. “It just felt so good… got too excited.”

“Fuckin’ impatient is what you got,” he corrects, nipping at your shoulder.

His hips are hitting into you at that delicious angle again and you both can tell that the rhythm he’s found on your clit is going to send you over the edge fairly soon. You hear him choke back what sounds like a genuine laugh and your eyes open in confusion, wondering what could have caused his reaction.

You hold your breath as Michael and Calum walk closer to the window you're about to cum up against. Your eyes search the landscape and you see Crystal in the distance, leaning on the car, taking a phone call. The guys must have decided to give her some privacy and are now hanging out and chatting by the rocks straight in front of you.

Your mind races as you try to recall with certainty if you noticed any visibility when you and the girls were out there taking pictures together the other day. It just looked like a mirror from that side… right?

It’s as if Ash can read your mind as he taunts, “Mirrored glass, right, baby? No way they can see how fuckin’ greedy you get when you have to go a few days without my cock.” He’s breathing heavy now too, clearly excited by the thought of a potential audience. “Couldn’t even wait a few more hours for me to get you alone, needed it so bad you’re letting me have you up against the glass with everyone right there… my greedy girl, what would they think?”

It’s hard to say if it’s because of the questionable situation or Ashton’s teasing words but you feel yourself getting close again and you start to moan. Loudly.

“Just because they can’t see you doesn’t mean they can’t hear you, baby. You really want them to know how bad you want it?” he sneers, working your body faster. “If they can hear your sounds, do you think they can hear how wet you are for me? How hard and deep I’m fucking you?”

You try to keep it down but as you start pulsing around his cock, you can’t help the cries that escape your lips. Ash’s hand moves up to your mouth in a feeble attempt to muffle your outburst. “Aww baby, you know those noises are only for me to hear, when will you learn how to control yourself?” His reprimand only makes you cry out more.

He grunts at the feeling of you nibbling at his palm, still experiencing intense waves of pleasure from your orgasm. He feels your body still tensing in his arms and sees your legs shaking and he decides you need some comfort. He strokes your hair and coos, “Such a good girl, cumming so hard, squeezing me so tight. Does it feel good, baby?”

You hold yourself on the window again, trying to catch your breath. “So good, Daddy...”

He kisses the back of your neck before he continues searching for his release, rough hands massaging your tits as he bounces you on his cock. You softly murmur encouragement, lost in the feeling of pleasing him and the dreamy haze from your own orgasm.

“Where do you want it, baby?” He asks breathlessly. “Kinda want to make you drip for the next 100 miles but you’re such a good girl, you can choose.”

“Wanna taste,” you answer instantly.

“That’s my girl,” he smirks, pulling out and watching fondly as you get on your knees.

You lean your head back against the window and raise your brow expectantly, waiting for him to continue. He gently runs a hand over your face before guiding his cock between your lips. It’s his turn to brace against the glass as he thrusts inside your mouth; you grip the back of his thighs, moaning around him, loving the feeling of being used by him in yet another way today.

Ashton huffs out a string of curses followed by a breathy cry of your name and you feel spurts of cum shooting across your tongue. You rub up and down his legs soothingly, soft sounds of satisfaction leaving your throat as he finishes rocking himself against you.

You pop off of his cock and press a kiss to the tip, smiling up at him as he tries to collect himself, still propped up on the glass. He leans down and kisses you tenderly, hands gently caressing your face.

"This was a good idea, baby," he breathes.

You tousle his hair and smile as he stands back up. He takes off, mumbling something about grabbing the Kleenex box from the bathroom and you hum contentedly, satisfied with your reunion.

Still on your knees, you turn around to peer out the window, wondering how much time you have left before your friends start asking for you. Michael and Crystal catch your attention first and you notice they only have a few items to go before the cars are fully loaded.

You squint, wondering why you don’t see Cal. You laugh to yourself, wondering if he got tired of their project and decided to lay down in one of the cars.

You start to jokingly suggest this to Ash when out of the corner of your eye, you spot some movement. You look up to see Calum, cigarette in hand, standing directly in front of your window. A knowing smile paints his face as he looks down at either his own reflection or at you. You can’t be sure. You surprise yourself as you realize that you can’t say for certain which scenario you would prefer.

You’re still staring out the window, speechless, as Ashton re-enters the room. He unsuspectingly jokes, “Goddamn, baby. Which one of us is gonna get some mirrored glass installed back at home?”

————-

This will most likely be the last fic with this particular taglist as this one has gotten really cluttered with inactive users or changed usernames and it breaks the post so often! If you want to continue to be notified of my fics, be on the lookout for a new sign-up post coming soon!

@mymindwide​​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​​ @pxrxmoore​​​ @loveroflrh​​​ @ghostofmashton​​​ @sexgodashton​​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​​  

​​​@cashtonasfuck​​​ @megz1985​​​  @angelicfluffs​​​ @findingliam-o​​​ @youngbloodchild​​​  @irwinsbetch​​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​​

@wiildflower-xxx​ @metalandboybands​  @realisticnotes​  @makeamovehemmings​ @golden166​​ @burstintocolor​

​@youngblood199456​​​​ @notinthesameguey​​​​ @seanna313​​​​  @zhangyixingxing1​​​​ @stardust-galaxies​​​​  @zackoid​​​​

@lovelybonesetc​​​​ @xsongxbirdx​​​​ @justhereforcalum​​​​   @ashtonangst​​​

@calumrose​​​​ @karajaynetoday​​​​ ​​​ @jazzyangel242​​​​ @babylon-corgis​​​​  @heyheyhaleyd​​​​ @calmsweetcreature​​​​

@spicylftv​​​​ @talkfastromance4​​​​  @holystxne​​​​

@meetmedowntown​​​​ @myloverboyash​​​​

@irwindoll​​​​​​​ @carrielfisher​​​​ @lukedorkyhemmings​​​​ @creampiecashton​​​​ @lovelywordsblog​​​​

@trix-arent-for-kids​​ @uh-huhh-honey​​ @tobefalling​​ @aladyofalbion​​ @likehuhdude​​

@curlycalums​​​​  @cxddlyash​​​​  

@fedorable-killjoys​​​​  @iamcalumswhore​​​​   @i-like-5sos​​​​  

@aquarius-hood1996​​  @babylonashton​​  

@begluketostay​​   @mateisit-balsamic​​​

@crazyforcal​​​   @neso-k​​​   @deliciouslydisturbed365​​​  @blxndeprincess

[skittikyu]

Sorry about all the drama lately-

Cancel culture is ridiculous sometimes I stg

[caffeinatedseri]

Dazai and No Longer Human’s Yozo

It’s no secret that BSD’s Dazai draws heavily from his real life counterpart, especially from his semi-autobiographical work: No Longer Human. To preface, No Longer Human is written from the perspective of the main character Yozo, with the book itself being a documentation of Yozo’s notebooks (essentially his journals) throughout his life. 

As you progress through the novel, it becomes increasingly clear that Yozo lives an extremely two-sided life; his foolish personality acts as a facade to others in attempts to hide the darker nature within him. 

Dazai shares that obvious similarity with Yozo, but Dazai is characterized in a somewhat vague and mysterious way that leaves a lot of his inner thoughts up to interpretation and inferences. Thus, I’ll be going through some of my favorite quotes from No Longer Human and analyzing Dazai’s character through his similarities to Yozo.

(For the sake of readability, excerpts from No Longer Human will be in pictures, and quotes from the light novel will be in regular block quotes).

Dazai and Yozo’s Participation in Clownery

To start off, Dazai noticeably participates in the same “clowning” as Yozo, which in particular stands out with PM Dazai.

““How did your leg get hurt?” I pointed to the bandages, thinking that it must be the result of some violent fight. “I was reading a book titled ‘How to Prevent Accidental Injuries’ while walking when I accidentally fell into a ditch.” I wasn’t expecting such an abnormal response.” — LN 2, Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era (Oda’s POV)

This is pretty standard Dazai behavior, but the interesting part is how Yozo specifically used the word “deceiving.” If we were to assume Yozo’s true thoughts are Dazai’s as well, then it would imply that Dazai feels as if he’s manipulating people with his absurd claims (such as the above). However, in actuality, his clownish behaviors sound more like a joke, or some type of self-deflection, rather than an attempt to manipulate people. (Yozo also states that he would often incriminate himself by overexaggerating certain things, but I don’t think Dazai does that).

The second statement Yozo makes implies that he doesn’t care about ethics, morality, or the supposed “right way” of living life that’s described as “righteousness.”

Yozo’s statement on “righteousness” parallels Dazai’s in Dark Era, but Dazai’s statement carries a slightly different sentiment. Rather than being indifferent to the likes of morality, Dazai says that he’s “hated” by the concept of morality. 

I’ll be speculating a bit here → It’s heavily implied that Dazai had some sort of dark past that led him to joining the mafia, since he was already suicidal prior to doing so. This suggests that something affected his life so drastically to the point where he could no longer trust in such things as “righteousness,” because righteousness has wronged him in the past.

First, Yozo expresses his fear of people discovering his true nature under the mask of clownery, which would then lead to them pestering him for further inquiry. However, his real fear is that people would mistake his true nature as another part of his typical clownery.

More so than before, this attitude reminds me more of Dazai in the agency, rather than him in the mafia. Even though Dazai danced around darker topics in his conversations with Oda, he was still able to talk about them without much conflict. However, in the agency, Dazai doesn’t talk much about himself or any of his personal issues at all. 

Although this scene has comedic overtones, it’s interesting to see that no one would help Dazai if he was actually dying. Still, it could be argued that the other agency members knew it was just Dazai’s regular antics. (or that Dazai wouldn’t die in the first place). 

This scenario repeats itself another time when Dazai gets kidnapped by the mafia, and the other agency members kind of just brush it aside. As much as they may trust Dazai to take care of himself (which I’m sure he can do), it’s worrying that the other members may not be open to Dazai’s possible attempts at reaching out for help, if he were ever to make one. 

In LN 4, 55 Minutes, Atsushi addresses this issue by asking Dazai why he wants to kill himself, but the answer is left open-ended, with Atsushi himself not remembering the answer (or if Dazai even did answer). You could interpret Dazai’s change from his time in the PM as an improvement of his mental state — which I have no doubt that has happened — but Dazai needs to face his issues head-on if he truly wanted to reconcile with his past.

“Perhaps someone should persistently tie Dazai up, open the lid over his chest and stuff the head of a vacuum cleaner in. They have to let Dazai, who should be screaming in pain and resisting, settle down. Following which, the difficult things in his heart must all be dragged out under the sun and stepped on mercilessly.“ — LN 2, Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era

Oda, the man who understood Dazai more than anyone else could at the time, even specifically stated that the pain in Dazai’s heart must be forcefully dragged out, because he knew that this would ultimately be the most beneficial for Dazai’s sanity.

Throughout No Longer Human, Yozo is often misunderstood by others, or other people simply don’t care about him.

When Dazai goes to visit Oda’s grave in Dead Apple, Atsushi finds him and assumes that he’s visiting the grave of someone important to him, as an act of respect or remembrance, something of the sort. However, Dazai makes the automatic assumption that his “clownish words of deceit” (as stated by Yozo) will always be prioritized over the truth, which is why he chooses to brush off his actions as a joke. 

Although I made the point earlier that the agency members don’t give Dazai opportunities to open up about himself, Atsushi is notably different, similarly to Oda, because he’s able to take Dazai seriously and persist even through his antics. 

Atsushi takes Dazai’s act of visiting a grave seriously, even when Dazai plays it off, because he knows Dazai is a person just like anyone else. This understanding between them leads to Dazai telling Atsushi about Oda, thereby allowing Dazai to divulge a crucial part of his past.

Dazai and Yozo’s Friendships

Similarly to Yozo, Dazai’s attempt at “disentangling” himself from these relationships only serves to wear him out in the end. However, they also slightly differ in a way: Yozo is unable to form any friendships for his whole life, but Dazai had Oda. I would argue that Oda was Dazai’s only friend, mostly because of this quote:

“Odasaku understood him far beyond what Dazai had ever thought. He had already reached close to his heart, the place near the center of his heart. Before this, Dazai had never noticed there was someone who understood him so well. For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted to know something from the depths of his heart.” — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Oda was special to Dazai because Oda was able to understand him — maybe even more than Dazai could understand himself — which is why Oda is the only person that Dazai asks for advice from. 

However, Dazai does the same thing as Yozo when he “plays the clown” as a form of self-protection from such valuable friendships. (which is probably preventing him from becoming closer to the rest of the agency).

“Things that we don’t want to lose will definitely be lost. Now that it has come to this, I have no more feelings anymore. Things worth pursuing will always disappear the moment before you get them. Nothing is worth prolonging a painful life to pursue.” — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Interestingly enough, Dazai says this when Ango is revealed to be a spy — before Oda dies. If Dazai was in this state of distress from Ango’s betrayal, you could only imagine how devastating Oda’s death was. 

Dazai speaks as if he’s speaking from experience, which suggests that he’s faced a similar loss in the past. Despite this implied experience, he still became friends with Oda (and Ango to an extent), fully knowing that it would only bring him pain in the end. Dazai's statement here acts more as a front that makes him sound cold and detached from the situation, only to hide how he truly feels about losing one of his only friends. 

To give some context to this passage, Yozo’s partner, Yoshiko, had been sexually assaulted by a coworker, of which Yozo attributes the cause to her overly trusting nature. Thus, this leads to Yozo’s belief that trustfulness is inherently wrong or creates weakness.

Dazai’s hesitance to form friendships most likely stems from this same inability to trust others like Yozo, but Dazai does trust a few people, namely Chuuya, Oda, and Atsushi.

With Chuuya, there’s a different type of trust between him and Dazai. Their impeccable trust is obviously a key factor in their partnership as SKK, but there’s a certain limit with this trust. They certainly trust each other in battle, but I’d argue that this trust doesn’t extend to their personal business. 

As of now, we don’t know a lot about how SKK interacted with each other during their time in the mafia (which could change with the new LN), but I doubt PM Dazai would feel comfortable with confiding in Chuuya with anything because they (kind of) hated each other. The level of trust required for a friendship would involve a mutual understanding between two people, but Chuuya and Dazai haven’t necessarily shown us that they were able to do that.

Dazai essentially broke his trust with Chuuya by leaving the mafia on a whim, but he also intentionally antagonized himself to try to make Chuuya hate him.

This scene also has comedic overtones, but it suggests something a bit sadder about Dazai. There are possibly two motivations as to why Dazai chose to do this: (or a mix of the two)

1. Dazai didn’t want Chuuya to be incriminated as his accomplice when he became an enemy of the mafia.

2. Dazai wanted to push Chuuya away because Oda — Dazai’s most trusted friend — had just died. As a form of self-protection, Dazai broke whatever semblance of friendship he shared with Chuuya in order to prevent the same pain that came with Oda’s death. 

It’s also important to consider that trust is a 2-way street; both parties have to have the same level of trust in each other. Just like Yozo, if Dazai is unable to trust anyone, then he may have cut Chuuya off to protect him (since Chuuya may have trusted Dazai more than Dazai was able to reciprocate).

In contrast, Oda and Dazai have a level of unspoken trust that basically motivates Dazai to change his entire life. 

“Odasaku’s eyes radiate with conviction. The words are clearly said with some sort of strong basis. Is it past experience? Or perhaps someone’s suggestion? — He is trying to show Dazai the path he once walked. Dazai understands this. Dazai can trust it.“ — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

Returning to Yozo’s question — “Is trustfulness a sin?” — Dazai answers it by showing us the strength of trust in this moment. Trust insinuates blind faith in another person, the willingness to believe someone else without logical reasoning, which makes it all the more important when PM Dazai — the genius prodigy who operates on a solely logical basis — is able to trust Oda and change his path in life. 

Atsushi is most likely the one that Dazai trusts the most in the agency, due to the aforementioned issues with the other members. However, it seems more like a budding trust that’s growing to become like Oda and Dazai, but it still requires Dazai to take that step forward to further their trust. 

Dazai and Yozo’s View of the World

In this scene, Yozo had made a decision for immediate gratification, but that choice caused him insufferable pain afterwards — supporting his belief that the world was a “place of bottomless horror.”

This parallels two of Dazai’s statements: one from Dark Era and one from Dead Apple.

“Please, take me with you. Wake me up from this rotten world of a dream. Come on, come on, come on!” — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

(Dazai wasn’t talking about himself here, but the allusion sets up a situation where he can talk about himself indirectly — I talk about it more in my other post here)

We don’t really get a reason for why Dazai is suicidal, but from this we can infer that it’s something more complex than he makes it out to be — something like an issue deeply rooted within the world, with no easy solution. 

One could guess that this was the result of an unfortunate decision (like Yozo), or the realization that the world was simply a terrible place (possibly because no one cared for him as a kid and he had Mori as a “parental” figure instead).

Yozo expresses his lack of understanding in the compassion of human nature, but Dazai (as we know) seems to understand other people perfectly, as least enough to manipulate them.

However, this forms somewhat of a paradox: Dazai understands people so well to the point that he can’t understand them.

Dazai understands every flawed aspect of a human being — the tendency to manipulate, lie, kill, etc. — most likely because of his past as a young child. “Human beings never did teach” him the hopeful aspect of human nature  — the ability to love and cherish others.

Shibusawa in Dead Apple reflects this mindset, but take note of what Dazai says: “You wouldn’t be saying that if you actually had friends” — clearly a reflection of Dazai’s personal experience, by knowing how important friends are.

Yozo’s deathly fear of society tames itself when he comes to the realization that society is really just made up of a bunch of individuals working for their individual benefit, so he has no reason to fear society as a whole.

I don’t believe Dazai has this same fear of society, but he does reflect this individualistic mindset in the way he acts. Often enough, Dazai doesn’t tell anyone about his plans and would rather manipulate people into following such plans, even when it would be easier to cooperate. He always takes care of conflicts by himself, and by his standard.

Yozo’s fear of society possibly manifested into Dazai’s ostracization from society. More speculation here, but → My guess is that Dazai was alienated not only as a genius isolated for his intelligence, but also for his ability. There seems to be some division between regular society and ability-users’ society, but I can see Dazai being rejected by both because he’s the antithesis to all abilities. 

Regular society would either shun him like other users or attempt to exploit him for their personal gain (possibly for his intelligence AND his ability), or ability-users would see him as a threat and/or menace to their safety.

When Yozo considers a double suicide with his partner, he comes to this unsure conclusion of whether or not he actually wants to go through with it.

This reflects what Oda believes about Dazai:

“I thought you and Dazai were very similar, unable to see the value of your life, hoping for death, hence jumping into a world of violence and fighting. But that’s not the case. That guy is just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world we can see.“ — LN 2, “Osamu Dazai and the Dark Era”

At the end of the story, Gide and Oda are different from Dazai because they face an inevitable hopelessness. However, Dazai has a small spark of hope to live on that persists beyond the other two. 

This is represented in Dazai’s own statement to Oda, when Oda is set on walking to his death: “Go and rely on something, hope for something good to happen next, that something will definitely happen.” 

If anything, this sounds more like a plea to himself than to Oda, but it establishes an important point: hope is built upon the assumption that the future will treat your present desires well. Vice versa, hopelessness is built upon the expectation that the future will neglect your present desires.

It’s a bit wordy, so I’ll elaborate on. Right after Dazai says this line, they proceed to talk about their desires → Dazai wants to find a reason to live, so he joined the mafia; Oda wanted to become a novelist, so he didn’t kill anyone. 

Now, the difference between hope and hopelessness:

Oda feels hopeless because he expects that his present desire (to become a novelist) won’t be fulfilled in the future. By losing the one qualification that he felt he had to follow (not killing anyone), he no longer believes that he can become a novelist.

Dazai has hope because he assumes that his present desire (to find a reason to live) will be fulfilled in the future. He doesn’t know that for sure, but he persists onwards regardless of having full assurance or not. 

Dazai’s hope and trust in Oda brings him to where he is in the present, and takes him one step closer towards discovering his reason to live. 

[zorkaya-moved]

❛   do you think even the worst person can change…? that everybody can be a good person, if they just try? ❜ // 👀

@erloeser​

The question that immediately arises in Zarina’s head is simple yet cruel: Why would she care about that? The morality isn’t something she wants to discuss for it serves her no purpose nor assists with anything when it comes to her search for pleasure, entertainment, and work success. If anything, who is good and who is bad could be seen as different things as society could be so disgustingly irritating in seeing different things more often than not. Goodness was subjective and some judgements could be too harsh on that said goodness. Yunaeisha’s words as so sudden, but the Russian doesn’t seem to really care about how she might look if she were to speak honestly. The clownery might arise later on, but right now, with a nonchalant shrug, Sokolova continues: 

“ Why do you care? Ae you trying to become a better person, Yunaeisha? ” She replies to a question with a question. It doesn’t make sense, if she were honest. Even if chaotic unpredictability is fun on its own, the question seemed to be in dire need of an answer. I anything her life and experience taught her, it’s to be on top of everything and put more than 100% into her job as a woman. “ Change is possible, but it’s rare. Why would the worst person in the world change? What would bring the change? Is it real or not? The question you ask doesn’t give enough information to give a better and more specific reply. ”

Zarina doesn’t believe that change is impossible, but humanity wasn’t exactly always good. If anything, the cynic in her believed that the majority of humanity was simply atrocious for reasons that were quite understandable. The world itself was pushing many over the edge and only those who lacked morals (like her, like underworld) would rise above, having a glass filled with wine (blood) and indulge in luxuries (built on bones) others would only see in dreams, begging to be spared even one coin. 

“ I don’t believe all can become good. Goodness is subjective, Yunaeisha. You can believe whatever you want, but goodness of heart isn’t always prevalent inside of a human mind, ” another shrug, the woman takes out her menthol cigarette and lights it up with her light. The red lipstick leaves a mark on the white part of the cigarettes before she breathes out the smoke through her nostrils, creating a sight that not many would be able to witness. “ Trying is one thing, seeing the end to that attempt is another. just because you try to be a good person doesn’t mean you are one or you can become one. The moment you slip, you’re not longer under the umbrella of ‘good’. So it isn’t about the attempt, it’s about continuation of that process of becoming better, ” a thoughtful hum is heard from the winter empress, one her hands hides in the pocket of her coat as another takes the cigarette out of her mouth, holding it between two fingers: index and middle. Another puff of smoke is exhaled, golden gaze stares forward. “ I do not believe an attempt is enough, but I would say perhaps one percent can become good if they try their best, from the bottom to the top--- aside from that? Not really. ”

[wc-confessions]

yo i think i was the anon that spurred that train of thought post u made and i gotta say. that’s not what i meant at all

i meant specifically that people in this fandom pick at each other over problematic shit when the biggest issue is that the source material we are all fans of is in itself problematic. we wouldn’t be arguing with so many pedos, for example, if the erin’s didn’t repeatedly (intentionally or not) make their characters pedos

and that’s not to say we can’t still enjoy warrior cats !! i do believe a lot of the erin’s bad writing is just clownery and lack of communication and not knowing better, but as a large group of people writing for an audience of children it is their job to know better

nooo dw i wasnt talking about you. but i think i remember your ask and i will admit the first half of your ask made me scared. but i did understand what you meant when i reread it and i did think about your ask while writing too. nd i agree with you here too!

but it was another ask that i deleted because it was addressing the issues while being very. racism/pedophilic sympathizing in the same breath. like it straight up said because it's to be expected, which i understood at first, and because of that it should be considered the norm??? then it went on to preach proshit rhetoric like 'well if you dont like it then just avoid it' and that pissed me off esp since there are a lot of kids influenced and harmed by that shit.

like i totally agree that's to be expected and it will draw the shittiest people. but like fiction or not, we shouldn't have the mindset that because it's expected we shouldn't speak on it yfm? idk if anon was trying to sympathize with weirdos but that's how it read

[atla-confessions]

Lmao is some kataang dipshit really in here acting like sexism against men is an actual issue 😂

I don’t even need to say anything, this kind of clownery speaks for itself

X

[southslates]

It's the way the Z*tara fandom polices people of color who are against the ship for obvious reasons and let's users fireladykatara speak for it up while silencing people of color. And the way it victimizes it over pictures like anything is comparable to the racism it loves

you know, for me it's the way i'm a minor of color and the person whose edit was stolen was also a minor of color, aka real people of color and not fictional characters that don't have real ethnicities <3 thanks for the ask babe, the clownery writes itself

[princess-of-the-corner]

What do you think of the Netflix reboot of the Winxs?

It’s bad Jim. 

Seriously I’m gonna ramble a little bit on both the trailer and yes I did read the preview of the tie-in novel. 

Okay, first. Let’s discuss the obvious: the casting and whitewashing.

Winx had 3/6 of the Main Characters be poc. And while the series does have it’s problems with that, this is a new level of clownery. Especially Flora. They just replace her with a white lady and call her ‘Terra’ as if it’s not.... I don’t even know what they’re thinking with that. 

I am white af though, so I’ll leave the discussion on that to actual poc and just say I agree.

Now to the characters they deleted or changed completely:

They got rid of Tecna which fucking sucks. Probably because they’re making this bootleg Hogwarts and Tecna’s thing of Technology Magic doesn’t fit with the old fantasy ‘we still use quills and ink on parchment’ vibe they’re going with. 

Speaking of bootleg Hogwarts, even Faragonda wasn’t spared as she got a name change and is more.... sketchy Dumbledore. 

Icy, Stormy and Darcy are being replaced with a single girl called ‘Beatrix’. Who wants to make bets on everyone nicknaming her ‘Trix’? Anyone? 

Sky and Riven are the only Specialist that made it, but there will probably be other Specialists that are just. Renamed versions of the other ones. Sky probably going to be just romance drama but Riven.... what did they do to my boy??? Some edgy white boy with a knife. They hammer in the fact that he does drugs too. Like it’s his first pov scene and he’s like ‘yeah I spent summer vacation getting high and I’m gonna skip class to go in the woods and get high again’. 

And as for the main five Winx that made it? Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. 

Idk what to say about Terra because she’s trying to be Flora but really isn’t. Musa is kind of a bitch. Stella is also a bitch in that ‘popular prep’ way. Bloom is the epitome of ‘I’m not like other girls! I don’t want to be popular and preppy!’. 

Aisha seems to be the only one who’s decent so far, but I don’t have much faith. 

Now to some other notes!

No wings???? Really???? The show is called Winx! They’re Faeries!!! Why would you get rid of the wings????

God the fashion. Even if you’re making it dark and edgy can you please look good? And let the girls keep their color schemes! Bloom should be blue, not red. Red is Musa’s color. Purple is Tecna’s but she’s not here. Aisha got the green and Flora was pink. 

Bloom discovering her powers in the reboot is.... getting in a fight with her mom and burning the house down and now she’s all guilty. It also seems like the twist is going to be that she’s one of the evil ‘burned ones’ that did some scary shit and disappeared years ago but ‘I guess she’s good but we’re gonna be scared of her and others will discriminate’. 

But you want to know what pisses me off most about the ‘Edgy, Dark and Griity Reboot’?

They didn’t have to change so much because Winx is dark af anyway. 

Let’s look at Bloom’s original backstory from the series! The planet of Domino was attacked, all it’s people trapped in a void dimension except for Bloom, who was a baby sent to Earth, and Daphne, who was cursed to be some kind of Spirit. The planed itself is now a frozen wasteland. 

You want to make it darker? Focus on it more! Focus on how an entire planet was wiped out less than 20 years ago. How there are a handful of survivors who mourn those they lost. How Daphne is traumatized as FUCK for being a cursed Spirit for years! Bloom feeling guilty despite having been a literal baby and couldn’t have done anything! If you really want to darken it up, don’t trap everyone in a void dimension, just kill them(which to be fair I did in my reboot but you know).

And that’s just Bloom’s backstory! That doesn’t even touch what actually happens throughout the series! 

Basically if you want to reboot Winx Club, don’t make it ‘dark and gritty’. Just make it more mature and have them explore the darker themes that already exist. 

[betweengenesisfrogs]

The Triumph of the Marginalia

Marginalia, n.:

1 : notes or embellishments in the margins (as in a book)

2 : nonessential items

-Troll OED

Is it just me, or is Nepeta and Equius’s arc the most slept-upon piece of brilliance in all of Homestuck?

A brilliance, might I add, that culminates in possibly the most triumphant, fulfilling emotional moment in the entire work:

https://www.homestuck.com/story/7928

*stands back and beholds its majesty while from the background comes the sound of James Roach brutally murdering ska*

No, but actually, I mean this 100% unironically, and by the end of this post, I think you’ll agree with me.

By now, I think we all understand the Act 6 double metaphor: the series of temporal loops and universes that Lord English commands is paralleled with, and in fact totally identical to, the narrative of Homestuck. Our characters’ lives exist within this context. They struggle to escape it, and are defined both by it and by the rejection of it.

Enter Nepeta.

The metaphorical meaning of Nepeta in Homestuck is irrelevance, and that’s why she’s the most relevant character in any discussion.

Nepeta was one of the characters killed off during the Murderstuck arc. Hussie argued that she was perfect for this role. In fact, I believe he said something like “Nepeta is sweet, but if you look up the dictionary definition of ‘expendable character,’ you’ll see a picture of Nepeta playing with a ball of yarn and looking very cute.” She’s an endearing combination of shipper girl and apex predator, but not one of your Vriskas or Terezis in being a driver of the plot. Hussie, it seems, created her just to round out the troll cast. He described one of his purposes in Murderstuck as being to axe some of the less necessary trolls to reduce the scope of his character list.

Except that didn’t really happen, did it?

Like a cat with nine lives, Nepeta just keeps coming back.

Equius is another addition to the troll cast who gets pushed away from the main action. He was a character-writing challenge: how do you make someone who’s gross, uncomfortable, and racist kind of likable anyway? I’d argue Hussie succeeded, in large part because of Equius’s relationship with Nepeta. By the time you finish with Hivebent, you’ll probably have a little fondness for their moraillegiance. And if that doesn’t do it, the conversation that serves as their swansong in Equius: Seek the Highblood will tear your heartstrings to shreds.

Because Equius dies, tragically clownmurdered. There was, at the time, some stink over this from Equius fans. Would he have really let himself be killed so easily? Hussie countered: yes, and it was the most in-character thing he could have done. He died doing what he loved: being asphyxiated erotically and horrifically by a superior. Truly, there could be no more fitting end to his character than that.

And yet.

No sooner did Hussie complete his self-appointed story cleanup challenge than he immediately began to undo his own work. It’s almost as if, in declaring his intention to own those who preferred more characters to narrative economy, he immediately had to own himself??

By the time we get even a little way into Act 6, we’re deep in the dreambubble landscape, meeting dead characters left and right. And who should show up there but Equius and Nepeta? Equius attempting to get it on with a bunch of Aradias, who dump him. And Nepeta, living out her romantic dreams as a representative of a timeline where she got together with Karkat. They both appear as symbols of this deadness, this irrelevance. Except that that brings them back into the story, into the spotlight – the opposite of where they’re supposed to be!

Like many bits of commentary, Hussie continues to incorporate the metaphor Nepeta=Irrelevance into Homestuck. Karkat’s remark on their journey that he would love to meet “FIFTY FUCKING NEPETAS” and embark on “NEPETAQUEST” alludes to formspring remarks to the effect that, no, Homestuck was not going to have much time for the minor characters. Except it clearly did.

Why couldn’t the narrative let the meowrails go? Was it that despite the economy of Murderstuck, something was still incomplete? After all, one of Equius’s charms was that he appeared to be growing into a less repressed, kinder person. In Seek the Highblood, we see him letting his guard down enough to roleplay with Nepeta for a change. Their love for each other: wasn’t that ultimately what could redeem Equius in our eyes? So his dying and thus failing to protect her–isn’t that something that should be addressed?

You could imagine many a Nepeta and Equius fan saying this to Hussie back in 2011.

But Hussie was already saying it to himself.

The duo come roaring back into the story in the Trickster mode arc, mid Act 6, thanks to Gamzee’s ridiculous resurrections. True, Nepeta is still reduced as part of Fefeta, the character formed from killed-off girls who never speaks onscreen. But doesn’t using that fact as a running gag kind of draw our attention to it? Doesn’t the fact that Fefeta talks to Roxy constantly offscreen inform us that once we get outside the frame of the narrative, Nepeta has a rich inner life and countless stories to tell?

And it’s here that Equius gets something he never got in his original “arc:” the chance to apologize to Nepeta. You’d be forgiven for missing it since there’s so much else going on at the time, but he does, while fused with AR. Here’s what you’d miss, though: he’s grown as a person in the afterlife. He’s come to regret that moment of weakness, where his fetish kept him from protecting his moirail. Impossible as it seems, he’s continuing his character arc.

The scene ends with Fefeta exploding (she’s also, after all, dealing with Eridan), but it leaves us with a tantalizing question:

Will Nepeta forgive Equius? Is there even a plausible time and space in that story when she could respond to his words?

Do you see what’s happening here? Instead of being erased, Nepeta and Equius are starting to slip the bounds of the story that killed them. They leap in and out of the frame, half-mythical figures. Marginalized, they write their own stories in the margins. They exist in complete defiance of the original logic of Homestuck.

Lord English is an alt-Author figure, a dark, brutal reflection of narrative control and narrative necessity. His world, in which horrible choices are necessary, in which the alpha timeline is a ticking clock leading inexorably to his manifestation, is one that beats down people not deemed important enough by his narrative. Which makes it identical to the one we’re reading. Throw all the unnecessary characters in the trash. Kill them off, if it suits my purposes. The world doesn’t need Nepeta.

Which is precisely why it does. Because isn’t defying Lord English the entire point? Isn’t it what Homestuck reveals as truly heroic?

What might Nepeta be capable of?

Let’s talk about two other victims of English’s forces of marginalization. Davesprite might be the most quintessential example. He teaches us what the alpha timeline is and how it works, by going back to fix a doomed timeline and submitting to being doomed himself. Except he merges with a bird and avoids that fate. Okay, but he clearly gets killed off fighting Jack in Jade: Enter. Except he comes back and hangs out with Jadesprite. Okay, but he dies in the planetsplode in the Retcon. Nope, he comes back from that, too. Huh. He keeps slipping the fate decreed for him by – who else? Lord English.

But it’s a struggle, clearly. He’s caught up in various cycles of guilt and shame. Over being “not the real Dave.” Over his feeling that he has to be a hero in the sense Bro demanded he be. Hussie describes Davesprite as fitting the “way of the unbroken sword:” his experiences have led him to believe in being strong and capable at the expense of all else, in contrast with the other Dave, whose belief in Bros’ toxic ideas is beginning to slip – the “way of the broken sword.” And where did Bro get his toxic ideas from? At least in part, the whispering voice of the soul of Lord English.

Now we turn to Dirk. Like Dave, Dirk has a marginalized, “less important” splinter self but it’s more of a pressing concern. AR shows Dirk’s darker side: exhibiting manipulative tendencies that human Dirk is trying to move away from. He’s also a copy removed from humanity, who feels an understandable amount of disillusionment about being removed from physical existence and his own identity. But as much as Dirk may splinter, like his dumb anime sword, he never breaks. What this means in the symbolic language of Homestuck is that Dirk lives fully, instinctually, in the way of the sword. He believe in a world of hard choices, masculine heroism, and necessity. Ultimately, this, too, is part of what makes Bro so harmful to Dave. In AR and Davesprite, we have a strange parallel: two splinter selves, both of whom are enmeshed in the logic of LE.

Except AR, unlike Davesprite…kind of is LE.

What is Lord English composed of? Well, there’s Caliborn, the most unrepentant shithead of all time. There’s Gamzee, embodiment of horrifying clownery. And then there’s AR, a version of Dirk even more removed from the person he wants to be.

And…Equius?

Allow me a moment to get really indulgent and take a big puff on my Homestuck scholar’s pipe.

The metaphorical meaning of Equius in Homestuck is: sort of growing out of being a creepy racist.

Or maybe let’s say: the opportunity to do that. We said that Equius was on the verge of being redeemed (even had been, in the eyes of many readers). What does it mean to stick him in with Lord English’s souls? It means two things:

1) Equius is a product of his society, which was shaped by Doc Scratch, aka by Lord English, both of whom are kind of him, but Scratch picks up on his traits especially. This is a recognition of that fact: the part of him that sucks is, itself, Lord English in a dizzying loop.

2) Equius’s story is a tragedy. It is the story of a kid who started to escape his society’s tendencies, but was sucked back in by the evil force behind them.

Although…maybe that’s not the whole story.

Because both Equius and AR aren’t really that bad. AR’s pretty understandable, and by no means beyond the possibility of goodness. And the combination of the two? Honestly, pretty harmless. They counter each other’s worst tendencies by devolving into a weird goofball. In fact, AR even says he wants to do something heroic: to sacrifice himself for something really important. He does, kind of, mustering a last-ditch robohorse assault on Caliborn. But at the same time, this is the substance of his tragedy. A hero whose defeat of a great evil forces him to become the substance of that evil. Which could not be a more fitting summary of how these characters function in their story.

But maybe that’s still not the whole story.

Enter Davepeta.

At first glance, the creation of Davepeta seems like Hussie’s most batshit troll move yet. I feel pretty confident in saying that even those who predicted either of these characters returning didn’t see that one coming. However, a few pages of Davepeta’s presence reveals a fundamental truth:

Davepeta is fucking amazing.

In them, Davesprite’s depressive moods are buoyed up by Nepeta’s upbeat optimism. Nepeta’s reclusive shyness is balanced by Dave’s tendency toward brash banter. Both of them gain confidence from being the new person they are. They quickly let go of ideas inherited from the world that kept them from self-knowledge and happiness. Dave, his toxic masculinity; Nepeta, her fear.

A great point I’ve seen made is how much Jasprose and Davepeta resemble fantasy selves for Rose and Dave: indulgent, technicolor manifestations of people they could be if they let go of inhibitions and limitations. But I think Davepeta is the most unambiguously positive of the two.

The metaphorical meaning of Davepeta in Homestuck?

Growth.

Not giving a fuck about what the world thinks. The world, aka Lord English. Because Lord English could never have predicted that his machinations would also spawn a confident, powerful fusion of two beings he had discarded as totally irrelevant.

They’re also a multicolored non-binary furry, so that’s even more points in the pissing off shitheads column.

They are someone Lord English never conceived of, never could have conceived of, but which lay as potential within his domain all along.

And if Lord English is a reflection of the author, of what Hussie feels one has to destroy or sacrifice, than Davepeta is an indulgence existing in defiance of all that.

And this makes Davepeta the most powerful person of all.

They are the light at the end of the tunnel. They are the person you could be, if you could get past your mental shackles and just grow. It may not be possible to ever get there as a mortal human, may only be for a godlike sprite, but striving to be like them matters, is purpose and fulfilment enough.

And they love ARquius.

Nepeta believed in Equius, believed he could grow, and was growing. So as much as ARquius traps himself in a Lord English loop of his own making – grown, perhaps, out of Dirk’s belief that there should be a loop, that importance is admirable—Davepeta pulls from him, in his last scene, his finest qualities. His love.

Equius asks forgiveness again, and this time, Nepeta’s able to give it. Davepeta easily accepts ARquius’s apology, an apology which never could have existed within the confines of a normal narrative. A reconciliation that both of them fought for by defying their narrative, by existing outside it. By being not the trolls who lived and died, but their broader, conceptual selves, who exist beyond lifetimes. Beyond the comic page. And they consummate that reconciliation with that most cherished and loving of gestures:

A hug.

And even as this is Equius and Nepeta’s reconciliation, it’s also Dirk and Dave’s. Which, I should mention, is also taking place, simultaneously and circumstantially simultaneously, just below. It’s a more difficult one, certainly, especially as filtered through the splinters of Davesprite and AR. Here forgiveness is not quite the right word. But – knowledge, and recognition, and a kind of peace. It’s Davesprite’s chance to reunite with the part of his brother he loved, while also being a person who’s grown beyond him. And it’s AR’s chance to be loved.

Oh, sure, the art is ridiculous, the pose absurd. But that’s what makes it sublime.

I mean, what did you think that Sbahj comic was really about?

A boy distancing himself from his feelings through irony, never acknowledging that the story he’s telling is about two bros who desperately want to hug each other, but don’t know how.

Here’s the hug.

I want to dip into Epilogues territory for a moment, but it’s territory which is fairly well implied by Davepeta’s statements and role in Collide. The Meat Epilogue, I think, only illuminates what was already there.

Lord English is uniquely vulnerable to Davepeta.

And why shouldn’t he be? They, like so much else in Homestuck, are a consequence of his actions spiraling far beyond his control. But it’s more than that. Davepeta is finally able to lay the unbroken sword to rest by following the “prophecy” about Dave defeating Lord English. On the one hand, that’s kind of what happened. But it’s also completely different from what English intended, antithetical to his desires and goals. Which makes the victory all the sweeter. But at the end of the day, Davepeta doesn’t fight for the reasons Davesprite did. They’re free of that, now. Instead, they fight from a place of genuine compassion. Because Davesprite, like Dave, knows the true meaning of being a hero: caring about one’s friends.

But the most important thing about Davepeta is that they know Lord English, on a level that perhaps neither he nor they recognize. Both AR and Equius are in there, and both are capable of redemption. It’s only Gamzee and Caliborn who are truly beyond it.

How does Davepeta defeat Lord English?

With a hug.

They wrap their claws around him, and carry him into the sun like a piece of garbage. It’s an aggressive hold, but it’s also effectively an embrace.

And I have to wonder: in those final moments, did they sense a connection there? Did Equius and Dirk stir somewhere within Lord English? Did they give him a moment’s pause? Resist him? Make it just the tiniest bit easier for Davepeta to do their work?

If so, then that, too, is heroism.

At the very least, it’s circumstantially simultaneous with the hug we see in Act 6, and so it carries the same message:

Redemption.

Not for the shitheads, but for those who wanted to be better.

And if this isn’t enough, there’s a third reconciliation here, too: between author and reader, or to put it in other terms, author and character.

If Lord English is a shadow of the author, what part of the author can be redeemed? Maybe not the destructive, antagonistic urges. But the part that plans and designs and philosophizes as Dirk does. That part of Hussie wanted Davepeta to be there, to strike that final blow, and made it happen.

Because, when you get right down to it, as much as Hussie pretends to be antagonistic toward his readers and the characters they enjoy, it’s the fans, the shippers, the furries, those whose hearts go out to a cute, shy cat girl that he most celebrates.

Hussie fucking loves Nepeta.

Nepeta and Equius are, sneakily, the best characters in Homestuck, because they understand its fundamental message: that to succeed in Homestuck is to defy Homestuck. They defy everything it throws at them, and somehow, improbably, come out on top.

All of this is there on that page, a whole edifice of storytelling culminating in that singular, grand, supremely indulgent expression, a feast of looping leitmotif and color and imagery and meme and sound. It’s all there, if you know where to look.

Nepeta and Equius love each other, and that’s pretty fucking great.

See? I told you.

<> Ari