#but i’m really proud of this piece so i’m posting it fucking anyway

[paintmeoverup]

my little rp art :3c the boys and their sins

[roaringroa]

i just love my brothers so much

[p0rchc0ll4ps3]

Fucking mcr show in Boston on Wednesday was an ENTIRELY transformative experience

Drew this at 2am after the show

Also pics from show feat gerry + staging. 2nd one Might have been during black parade but idfr

[ifangirlalot]

I’m not sure if requests are still open or not (if they aren’t just ignore this!!) but if they are, I’d love a really sweet top sal fisher kinda thing!

˗ˏˋ 𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐘 ˎˊ˗ | starring sal fisher

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

*~smut!~* [𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘]: softdom!sal x sub!reader, mentions of p in v, oral (fem receiving), praising (pronouns used): AFAB reader

First piece I've posted in a bit, no other subject than my lil mass murderer himself <3

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 Sal isn't really a rough sex kinda guy anyways, but he also isn't super into being the bottom, so he's a soft dominant all the way. ⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 He's incredibly big on dirty talk, though, even though he doesn't really seem like he would be. (It's always the soft spoken ones, bro!)

"You're being such a good girl for me." "I know it hurts baby, but you're doing so fucking good." "I'm so fucking proud of you for taking all of my cock." "You look so beautiful with your mouth around my dick, baby."

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 Sal loves when you're a mindless little sub baby for him. You sitting on the floor in front of him with your cheek against his leg while he absently rubs your hair and praises you- ugh, heaven for him.

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 If you had a rough day at school or something, he loves edging you to sleep. Just using his fingers to stroke away at your insides, except he doesn't let you cum until you tell him you feel better.

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 Or he just lets you sleepily rut yourself against his cock while murmuring to you in a soft voice.

"Shhh, you don't need to think, just fuck yourself to sleep, little bird."

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 Sal starts getting hella cocky when you become a mindless, drooling mess from bouncing on his cock for hours on end while he just smirks and gives you compliments about it.

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 He loves getting head from you. The sight of you between his legs, struggling to get past a couple inches, tears streaming down your face while you whimper like a good little fuck baby and he gently wipes your tears away with his thumbs and gently talks you through it.

"Ah.. shh, there you go, atta girl.. Just a little further for me? Can you do that baby? Can- ahhh, fuck yeah, there we go, just like that.."

⊹ ִֶָ𓏲࣪𖹭 He also uses his dominance to help you develop a sense of self respect and make healthy habits. You made your bed today? He'll fuck you in it and make it back up for you when you're down. You brushed your teeth? He'll give you the greatest head of your life. You ate breakfast today? He'll rub your clit and tell you how proud he is of you for trying today.

[A Note From Zee]

I apologize for taking so long, I just have not been in the mindset to write recently- Hopefully I can get some more (longer/better) requests settled out this weekend.

[thatdeadaquarius]

I was playing Genius Invocation yesterday, but out of nowhere this idea came to me like tge whispers of an old god.

How would the characters react to knowing they are the creator's favorite card? (Mine are Beidou and Ningguang, but if you are confortable, I would like to know yours as well)

AHDAALLL I HAVENT PLAYED TGI CARD GAME ENOUGH!! SO FOR NOW I RLLY LOVE THE WAY CYNO AND KAEYA'S ART LOOKS (tho diluc does look shmall in his hehe)

Thank you for your patience!! Sorry this is SO FUCKING late :0 and if it’s bad! i havent rlly liked my writing the past couple pieces, so i stuck with some fun headcanons i thought of while kicking me feet and twirling my hair over this question hehehe

Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU/Isekai Stuff :)

Orbit: Headcanons

Stars: Beidou, Ningguang, Kaeya, Cyno

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing & Trigger Warnings: None Known.

☆

Beidou:

BIGGEST EGO BOOSTS OF HER LIFE LMAO

SHE WOULD LITERALLY SUBTLY FLEX EVERYTIME UR AROUND IM CRYINGGG

Every fucking port knows she’s a favored one, every goddamn pirate knows it atp, hell maybe even some abyss monsters at sea too-

(Kazuha’s happy for her, but also lowkey jealous)

literally got one of her cards framed and hung in her captain’s quarters, and insisted you sign it omfg-

Ningguang isnt surprised tbh, (she knows u like strong women lol)

Ningguang:

…she gives one of the most smug smirks of her entire fucking life.

All of Liyue is gushing for her, not that she isn’t also excited on the inside, she’s just more proud than anything on the outside/for appearances

Literally set up a whole date meeting that felt like it was about to turn into a goddamn wedding proposal

I’m talking giving handcarved furniture, household necessities but they’re in pretty colors that all match (like a gold tea kettle, gold throw blanket, etc.)

Full nine-yards different kinds of teas, cakes, and all accustomed to your taste

so if u dislike super sweet stuff there are more savory items, the teas can be more bitter, or if u love sweets, this woman is giving you a bakery basically every day for nearly 2 weeks, u dont have enough space in the cabinet for all these teas- help-

Kaeya:

so fucking smug on the outside, def brags about it in Angel’s Share and he’ll only just be tipsy he’s so fucking excited to talk abt it

whenever conversations end or get a lull, he just, “So anyway, our All-Powerful Guide, really likes my TCG card, maybe even above yours, Diluc…”

pls stop him he’s annoying Diluc, and slowly other patrons 😭 (there are bar rules posted on the wall, and Diluc adds one, not for the first time, specifically for Kaeya to stop talking about TCG while in the bar LMAO)

Now all Kaeya has to do is just pull out his card (cough he’s constantly got it in his pocket, the one he asked u to sign cough)

Rosaria just looks the other way like if she can’t see it it’s not real, Diluc will literally be in the middle of making a drink for one of them and just leave it halfdone and attend to somebody else, Venti’s eye twitches-

and the entire bar just groans too LMAOOO

(have a meme I made just for you <3 )

Cyno:

oh no.

Look what you’ve done, you’ve seduced the General Mahamatra!!

Take responsibility, play TCG with him every time you see him now lmao, the only reason all of Sumeru knows you like his card (which makes it all that more desirable to ppl who do play, and collectors)

is bc he talked to Tighnari about it for hourssss, and then it made it’s way down the grapevine, and if they didn’t find out that way, the other was just seeing the usually stern and formidable General Mahamatra nearly vibrate out of his headpiece when you come near him every time you visit

Cyno weirdly gains like, 20x the luck when ur either playing against him, or sitting watching him play someone else, he’s struggling to find partners tbh bc “you’re my lucky charm? Of course I’m winning more.”

When you initially told him about him being one of ur fav cards, he literally looked like there was a loading sign over his head… Then proceeded to nearly break your ribs hugging you so hard, and nearly take ur eye out with the ears on his headpiece lol

☆

Sorry if all my writings shit for these past 2 posts! Idk im just thinking its not so good rn and idk how to fix it-

anyway I’ve started playing Breath of the Wild over the past like 2-3 months I think, and it’s amazingggg

I may or may not be both getting gender envy and also a huge crush on Link help-

Safe Travels Wandering Lantern,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

An iced coffee? For me??

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

[tartsinarat]

I kinda got sidetracked whilst designing nimbus’s outfit for the battle of the bands… so here’s this meme that’s canon to the au and took me longer than I would like to admit,

*UNHOLY SCREECHES*

Peep that Amity design for the au because I’m so proud of it

but anyways I mentioned in one post that Pip ended up inheriting Belos’s curse but it’s not as powerful so he doesn’t fully become whatever slimy deer creature belos’s cursed form is (at this point in the au, it does get that worse later on though :/) and so currently even though Pip’s not in control of himself it’s only mildly inconvenient for the people around to deal with rather than dangerous because he mostly just steals magic objects to drain the magic out of as a snacc, sleeps and leaves slime everywhere (tbh just imagine him as if he’s a weird slimey cat) and if he does get aggressive he’s extremely easy to pick up.

the meme is basically what I imagine happened when luz and amity found out about it because its really funny to imagine that these two were planning a ‘platonic’ study date (this was before they started dating but when the both started getting feelings for each other) and just unexpectedly walking into this chaos

Also just realised I’ve completely forgotten to explain why Pip drains magic, it’s because he’s got pieces of basilisk in him as Belos when making him was attempting to figure out how to solve the whole having to drain palisman problem when they’re basically going extinct so he doesn’t have that problem when he eventually takes over Pip’s body and Belos landed on using Basilisk parts because of their magic draining properties which could be used to supply magic directly to the glyphs on their arms as my head canon of one part of Belos’s curse is that by getting soothed by eating palisman’s thing is because the glyphs on his arms are constantly using him as a power source because he doesn’t have a bile sac which is why he’s constantly rotting, the other part is that his cursed form was much less slimy because it was originally caused by Evelyn after the Caleb ordeal and became that way because of the glyphs.

Because of that Pip kinda has two different curse forms where one is the slimey rotting one which happens when he doesn’t have enough magic stored and when he does have some magic stored, his other form actually has fluff and looks more like a fucked up deer with a hint of titan on crack

I ran out of ideas ngl for the silly GH au masterpost jokes at the end of my GH posts

[pedrisslut]

Can we have post match Pedri smut :) let’s see what you got - anon💚

Ahh the classic post match smut😏 well in the words of a master transfer news reporter - “Here We Go”💛🖤

I wrote this when Barca lost 2-1

a/n: this was not proofread so beware for mistakes! Sorry if this was shit this literally the first smut piece I have ever written😬

The sound of the whistle rang through out the stadium beckoning the end of the match. In contrast to you who knew your work had just began. When you saw the scoresheet go to 2-0 you knew what would be coming for you. If Pedri wasn’t angry enough, he got subbed of at the 61st minute only adding to his anger but he being the gentleman he is never showed it (but you could tell he was boiling). There was a glimmer of hope when Lewandowski got one at the back of the net but it was all futile as Barcelona was handed a loss anyway.

You waited in the stands till you got his signal. Once the stadium was relatively empty there it was the notification on your phone rang and you didn’t even look to know what you had to do. You make your way to the locker room. You opened the door to see an empty room but the sound of the showers running. You get to the showers and you’re greeted by Pedri’s back facing you completely nude.

Pedri’s head shoots back at the sound of you closing the shower door. You can visibly see the anger in his face but it slowly melts away as he sees you. “ I’m really pissed mi dulce perra” he says with a sigh. “Why don’t you show me how pissed you are” you say almost in a breath as you start stripping going slowly putting on a show for him. His erection slowly growing standing upwards. You smirk to yourself proud of the control you have over him. You unclasp your bra to reveal your bare breast.

You squeeze them together and with that Pedri’s patience snaps and he pulls you into the shower with him. Lips connecting both fighting for dominance. His hands roam your body starving for the touch of your warm skin. Your hands interlocking with his hair tugging it. You bite down on his bottom lip causing him to let out a low moan which has you smirking against the kiss. Pedri not liking you being in charge, slams you against the cold shower tiles which earns him a breathy moan from you.

This leaves Pedri smirking as he likes feeling like he is in control especially when he’s had a bad match. You don’t mind of course after all you are just Pedri’s slut. He pins both your hands above your head as he starts grinding his thick cock against the entrance of your clit. You let a annoyed moan -“Please Papi fuck me already”- Pedri lets out a sarcastic chuckle -“ You’re really greedy for Papi’s cock aren’t mi dulce perra” he slaps your ass as you just nod your head desperately hoping your submissiveness will get him to fuck you already.

“Please baby show me who owns this pussy” you say in a high pitched moan whilst he pinches your tits. With your plea he picks you up aligning his dick with your entrance and without warning he thrusts deep into your pussy finding a hard-fast rhythm. “Papi yes!”- as his thrust start hitting your g-spot repeatedly. -“Yeah you like that don’t you my fucking slut you like when papi has you begging and gasping for air” he continues his merciless thrust abusing your g-spot. Your nails rake across his back causing him to throw his head back.

The shower filled with the sound of running water, slapping skin, moans and grunts. You look down to see Pedri’s bulge inside of your tummy, he catches on to what you are looking at and presses against with his free hand. This has you crying out with tears coming down the sides of your face, the pressure being to much for you to handle. - Papi I’m gonna cum!” is all you managed to spit out. -“Then cum for me bitch” he groans. He moves his hand down to draw a figure 8 on your clit. This has you cumming with Pedri’s name on your lips like a chant. The added wetness travelling all the way to his lower abdomen has him cumming soon after in a long groan.

He doesn’t pull out both of y’all just regaining your breath after that workout. - That was amazing baby but you have to leave now” Pedri implying for you to leave before the paparazzi come hounding him for interviews. All you do is nodd and try to stand upright which was very hard atm. You both get dressed as you kiss him in the cheeks as your goodbye. You manage to make it to your car with attracting any attention. As you were about to start your car your phone rings with a notification from Pedri reading -

Papi: remember be at my place at 9;)

you know you will be there. Even though Pedri will never have a relationship with you, you will always be there for him no matter. You are just Pedri’s slut⭐️

[good-beanswrites]

I wrote my little Purge March section for Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins :) Since I just snuck it into a preexisting chapter, I figured I'd make a quick post with it on it's own 👍

Amane knelt on the cold tile. She watched the water trickle from the ends of her hair. She could feel droplets across her whole body. She shivered slightly in the tight space.

Before Jackalope had even finished uttering ‘cut’ , a dozen hands were lifting her off the ground. Her head spun with all the voices offering comforting words. 

She gaped from inside the bundle of towels she’d been immediately wrapped in. Kazui had pulled one tightly around her shoulders while Yuno was using another to dab at her head. Kotoko knelt in front of her, rubbing her hands between hers to warm them up. Muu held up her change of clothes, with what looked like one of her own sweaters thrown in. Shidou and Fuuta ushered them out of the set pieces. The area had been designed to look as clustered as her home, but it was much more open than the cameras caught. With just a few steps she was back in the bright, warm studio.

Amane frowned, trying to shrug off the towel. “There’s no need for all of this. I signed off on my script, same as you all. None of you were treated as such during your videos.”

Mikoto poked his index finger into her shoulder. “Yeah, because none of us went through half the shit you did. Trust me, this isn’t because you’re a kid, it’s because this is majorly fucked up.”

She opened her mouth, but all her words died out. For so long, she’d repeated her protests that this was just how things were. She was finding it more and more difficult to argue with the others. She was having a hard time knowing what was wrong to believe.

“I really enjoyed your marching band rehearsal yesterday,” Shidou said, offering a warm smile. She did not return it. She could see through his weak attempt to change the subject. “Er… that looked very fun…”

“Yes, yes!” Yuno chimed in, giving her towel-swaddled body a squeeze. “I didn’t know you could baton twirl! You need to teach me, I’ve always wanted to do stuff like that!”

“Of course.” As the others joined in agreement, Amane did manage to return a bit of their warmth. She was rightfully proud of yesterday’s work. She’d impressed them with her perfect routine. It felt good to boast of a skill that none of those older than her could. Though it was shameful to admit, Amane was really looking forward to tomorrow’s filming. She wouldn’t even mind Shidou’s attention, if he was part of the group praising her talents.

As Yuno went on about the cute costume she’d get for filming the next day, Amane heard Mahiru from behind her. She’d grown more agitated with Jackalope, and her voice raised.

“What paperwork? This is horrific. You should be able to take her out of there in an instant.”

“We’ve got some unorthodox methods here, but I am not stealing a child. Please, Shiina, I’ll tell you when we make progress. Heh, don’t let this turn you into a kidnapper.”

“Well,” she could hear Kotoko, “it’s better than a murderer. Which is what I may be after watching this. And for real, this time.”

Fuuta joined in. “If I ever see any of these fuckers in person --”

“Keep your voice down,” Kazui said, “that’s her family you’re talking about. …Not that I disagree. But she doesn’t need to hear that.”

“Why not?” Fuuta muttered. “She was gonna do it anyway…”

It was true. Though, her motivation had been righteous, virtuous. Theirs was out of vengeance. ...Though, was vengeance in another’s’ name better? What about vengeance in her name?

“Either way,” Jackalope said, “I’m doing everything I can. You’ll be the first to know, okay?”

Amane tried not to dwell on it. Today, she just needed to hold her head high and do her duty, no matter how difficult things became. 

And she had always excelled at that.

So, she sank into the warm bundle. She leaned into Kotoko beside her. She accepted a drink from Haruka. She talked with the others as they asked more questions about her upcoming routine. Conflicting thoughts about what was wrong may have plagued her, but in that moment, she knew for certain that this felt right.

[sybilius]

Can’t believe they’re actually fucking DONE. Four chairs that I re-upholstered. Project talk under the cut.

*

A really insane project, all told. Why I took it on is not out of deep affection for the chairs (I got them free from the side of the road, they were a salvage), but rather because they were a plausible burner project for which the stakes were low (if the re-upholstering was REALLY bad well. Here’s a comparison of a chair before:

So it’s like, either I fix em or probably no one does and they’re trash again.

Anyways, this took me off-and-on work for 5 months. I had to take a considerable break in January to fend off the double whammy of losing my project space and having to finish up my desk project. It’s been a uh, busy winter! But I’m very proud of what I did do.

Roughly speaking for this, the steps were (here a “session” is a 1-3 hour period of me working on the project)

1. Disassemble the chairs (unstapling the old fabric), examine the results (late October, 2 sessions because the unstapling required a special tool)

2. Briefly consider using chair covers, reject this due to the sizing complexity (early November)

3. Learn to sew by machine (basics) in earnest, starting first with two pencilcases of misc. fabric (Late November, MANY sessions. I spent a lot of time in the sewing lair from Nov-December)

4. Pick out vinyl for the surfaces. I think I bought 3 yards for about 30$, something like that (2 sessions. Sue me this decision took some time)

5. Make a coin purse as a tester with the vinyl (4-5 sessions, this was a gift for my grandpa

6. Unstitch / measure the seat surface, make testers out of fabric to try and reproduce a design for the seat pieces (3 sessions, Late December)

7. Cut out the pieces and sew together the first seat cover (3 sessions, Late December )

8. Staple first seat cover (1 session, Late December, why yes I DID spend my winter break post-xmas working on this why do you ask?)

9. Disassemble the second chair (1 session, early January)

9. Make second seat cover, rushed (1 session, early January, this was when I learned I was losing my project space)

10. Make third, fourth seat cover, VERY rushed (1 session, mid january. EXHAUSTING time. These went in my closet for a while)

11. Staple the second chair (1 session, mid January)

12. Disassemble the third chair (1 session, early March)

13. Staple the third chair (1 session, mid-march (had to get new furniture staples))

14. Disassemble the fourth chair, staple the fourth chair (1 session, today).

That’s a lot of steps mark! there’s not a point to this but thank you for reading Syb Goes Insane Over Chairs (a project breakdown)

[ritzyu]

Pretty Flower.

🌹Favorite line: "You kiss me then fuck her!?" Sorry I just had to lmao

🌹 pairing: Yeonjun x fem!reader

🌹 genre: angst, fluff (if you squint), and pinch of smut..

🌹 warnings: mentions of; violence, suicidal thoughts, blood, fictional disease- (hanahaki disease), coughing out blood and flowers, cursing, suggestive contents, pet names, unprotected sex, soft sex. if I miss something, please do tell me^^.

🌹 w/c: 8.9k

🌹 disclaimer(s): 

the header and dividers in this post were edited/made by me, so please don’t come at me for “not giving credit”. 

this does not represent txt’s Choi Yeonjun in any way. Everything that this post contains are all fiction. Please don’t take anything too seriously.

🌹 a/n: hi loves, I'm sorry this post took too long to update:( life happened so.. Anyways - This fic contains mature content. Please, Minors Do Not Interact. Oh and btw, the smut part will start under the red divider, and will end once you see the second red divider^^ (I said that bcs just in case y’all wanna skip it lmfao). thank you and I hope you enjoy! 

You and Yeonjun were both in the library, studying and preparing for the final exam you’ll be having in a few days, which was math. Yeonjun wasn’t really your classmate. He was a year ahead of you. His class were finished with their finals and other schoolwork, so he happily obliged when you asked him if he was able to help you study, since he didn’t have anything better to do and wanted to spend more time with you.

“So you multiply this term by that term then...” you mumble, tapping the end of your mechanical pencil on your chin as you stare down at the problem Yeonjun gave you as practice. Yeonjun smiled, seeing how cute you were, slightly struggling and so focused on solving the last question. 

“Okay, I’m finished!” with a proud and confident smile, you spun your paper upside down and slid it closer to Yeonjun’s side. He raised a brow at you before eyeing the piece of paper. He placed his index finger on it as he checked your answers. After ten seconds, he shook his head then gave you back your paper. Explaining how you did the last question wrong. 

Clicking his tongue, he wrote another two problems on a separate sheet of paper. “Come on Jjun! It was just one question!” you whined, making the man in front of you lift his head from the paper. “You know our rules, y/n. One wrong question, you get an extra two more to solve.” you crossed your arms and pout at him, a frown visible on your face. Yeonjun sighed.

“Fine. I’ll let you off the hook this time because your cute.” he leaned over to your side of the table and pinched your nose as he shakes your head. “Come on little one, I’ll get you something to eat for your hard work-” his sentence got cut short when someone suddenly spoke.

“That wouldn’t be necessary, Yeonjun.” it was Ryan, your boyfriend that Yeonjun thinks is a complete eyesore. You and Ryan had been dating for almost a year now. No matter how much you try to make Ryan and Yeonjun, whom was your best friend for almost half of your life, to get along, they just won’t cooperate.

Yeonjun always thought Ryan was a complete jerk and was just a fuck boy whom just had his cock inside women each and every night, he wasn’t wrong though. That’s why he was so surprised when you told him that you were dating the Ryan. You told him not to worry about you and told him that Ryan sounded sincere when he told you what he felt. He was disappointed, but didn’t want to just tell you to break up with Ryan because of what he believes he is, and he didn’t wanna seem that he was controlling your life, which wasn’t. He wanted you to be free and happy, so he just warned you to be careful and immediately tell him if Ryan did some fucked up shit.

“I’ll be taking her out.” Ryan then placed a hand over your shoulder, Yeonjun mentally rolled his eyes at that, he just nodded and waved goodbye to you and with that, he left without a word. You were looking back at him with a slightly upset face, he didn’t even give you a chance to thank him. 

“C’mon, baby” Ryan kissed you on the lips, you nodded then went out the library. You two were just having a normal conversation until his phone suddenly rang. He took it out of his pocket to check who it was. His eyes widened for a while once he checked who it was before turning to you. Just as when you were about to ask him who it was, he spoke, “Excuse me” he then turned around and walked a little bit away from you before answering the call. 

An agonizing five minutes of waiting passed and you then saw him coming back to where you were, his face looking tense and awkward, palm resting on the back of his neck. You sighed, knowing what words he was going to spit out now. “Sorry baby, I can’t go with you right now, it’s just an emergency and I need to go, I also can’t drop you home since it’s urge-”

“It’s alright,” you gave him a half lit fake smile, “I could just walk.” Ryan kissed your forehead and thanked you for understanding, then, he got in his car and left. 

It’s not like you cared anymore if he drops you home anyways, you got used to it. You didn’t wanna seem like a complete brat and while and complain about his reason more like excuses. You started walking home, but you felt a sudden tightness in your chest. You struggled to find you inhaler in your bag, and once you did you eventually dropped it, before you could even pick it up, someone else did. Yeonjun. 

“Woah there y/n,” he then immediately went to you and handed you your inhaler. Once you calmed down, you looked back at Yeonjun, who was looking back at you with eyes filled waves of concern. You thanked the man and he sighed. 

“He left you again, huh? That fucker.” chuckling awkwardly, you gently nudged your shoulder on his arm. “It’s alright Jju-” “No. It’s not. Aish.” he took your bag and slung it over his shoulder then took your hand in his. Opening the door to his car, he gestured his hand for you to go inside and you did, he then followed. 

He turned on the engine of his car and started driving, his finger tapping on the steering wheel. “Where are we going Jjun?”

“I’m driving you home. Something that that stupid excuse of a boyfriend, Ryan, can’t do.” you gulped, then silence filled the car. You both were sitting in complete silence as he drove you home. A few unbearable minutes passed, Yeonjun finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.” he started, “It’s just pissing me off that he just leaves you on the spot every fucking time.”

“He said it’s urgent-”

“It’s always like that. What? Is his mom always confined in the hospital every other day? Or maybe his little sister gets the flue for one whole week and suddenly she gets dengue the next week?” he scoffed, spinning the wheel with one hand, his eyes furiously focused on the road as he was driving into a familiar street that led to your home. “Darling, if he’s lying he sure is terrible at it, like everything else he does, for fucks sake.”

You just sat there in silence, you don’t know how you could defend your boyfriend now, every word Yeonjun had said was true though. He looked at your face, eyes filled with tears that threatened to fall any second now, he stopped the car right in front of your doorstep. 

“Shit.. I’m so so sorry y/n, I-..” you wiped the tears that already fell, sniffling, you waved a hand at him in protest, “It’s alright Jjun, I’ll.. I’ll try to talk to him about it next time we meet.” Yeonjun felt his heart ache. He then placed a hand on your cheek, cupping it and caressing it oh so gently as he draws circles around it with his thumb as a way for saying sorry and then nodded.

You opened the door of his car and got out, but before closing the door, Yeonjun spoke up once more, “By the way, y/n, I’ll be out of town for a few days, I’ll be visiting my grandparents, I’ll be sure to update you when I leave and when I get there, okay?” you smiled warmly, nodding in response. You then thanked him for earlier and wished him safe travels before he left. 

---

The next day, you received a message from Yeonjun at 7am;

Jjunnie<3

Good morning y/n, just wanted to update you that I’m all set to leave now. :)

To; Jjunnie<3

Hey Jjunnieee, good morning! Stay safe on your way there<3

Jjunnie<3

Thank you, bun<3

You smiled at your phone before finally deciding to get up and shower. It was Saturday and remembered that Ryan promised you that he’d take you out on a date today this afternoon. After showering, you dug into your closet to find some decent clothes. You finally settled on a cute pink skirt and plain white polo shirt, paired with white rubber shoes.

“He said he’d pick me up at 11am,” you mumble to yourself as you checked the time. “It’s 9:30.” you then clapped your hands once, smiling like an idiot. “I have plenty of time to get ready!”

An hour passed and you looked at yourself in your bathroom mirror, all dolled up. You made little jumps, not being able to contain your excitement. You looked stellar. From your hair and make up, to your outfit, humming in satisfaction at how cute you looked. 

You took your phone and black purse before heading out to wait for your boyfriend, Ryan, to come pick you up outside your house.

A thirty minutes passed, but he still wasn��t here. You shrugged, thinking that he must be a little late. 

Well, minute turned into hours. 2hours, to be exact. You were getting impatient, yet also, worried, so you took your bike and went to Ryan’s place to check up on him. When you did, you saw another car parked right next to Ryan’s. Thinking that he might just have a visitor, you calm down and knock at his door, but to your surprise, it creaked open when you knocked once. 

“Why would this man leave his door open like this, aish..” you whisper. You called out Ryan’s name a couple of times before letting yourself in. You scanned his living room, seeing as it was slightly, messy. You found a red purse lying down on the carpet, a laced bra hanging from the arm of the couch. You gulped, not wanting to believe the thoughts that were running into your head.

Just then, you heard.. noises, coming from upstairs. You didn’t wanna be nosy, but something in you needed to know what was going on. Quietly waking up the stairs, it didn’t take you long to find out that the noise you were hearing came from Ryan’s room. The door was slightly cracked open, you bent down and peeked through the small gap provided. 

Your eyes widened, you covered your mouth to prevent any noise coming out from it. There you saw Ryan, fucking another woman. 

“Aren't I better than that virgin bitch, Ryan?” the woman said between moans, throwing her head back as pleasure that she was receiving built up. Ryan immediately responded with ‘yes baby’, that definitely made your heart break into pieces. You lost it once you heard the words that came out of his dirty mouth. You felt the sharp pain in your chest again as it tightened, but you didn’t care right now. You didn’t wanna stay silent anymore.

“You fucking bastard, Ryan!” you shouted, as you kicked the door fully open. Ryan and the woman he was with were both too stunned at the sudden action to even speak. Seeing them like that literally made your blood boil, your heart aching painfully. 

“So this is what you were fucking up to? Fucking women behind my back?” you pointed at the woman under him with wide eyes that were piercing Ryan’s. Biting your lip, not wanting to let more of your emotions seep out right in front of two disgusting pigs.

“Y/n,” he sighed, “let me expla-” “Shut it! Explain? I’ve already seen enough. You’re not fooling me anymore. What were you thinking!? You kiss me then fuck her!? Did what we have meant absolutely nothing to you?” you held your hand to your chest, feeling the pain surge through your body more. "We're fucking over." Ryan sighed again face in his palms, mentally rolling his eyes, yet you could still see that there was not even an ounce of shame visible on his face for what he'd done. “You two fucking disgust me.” 

“Look, y/n--”

You slammed the door shut before he could even finish his sentence. You furiously went downstairs, but as you were on your way to the door, you were coughing.. petals? White petals that looked like they were poorly coated in a blood. You heard Ryan’s door open and you immediately ran back to your bike while still coughing an enormous amount of petals with blood. 

You ignored how Ryan screamed your name. You just quickly rode your bike home, blocking out any noises around you.

Once you reached your house, you locked the doors and windows before going to lock yourself in your room’s bathroom. Petals soon came out as a whole flower as you continued to cough. You couldn’t stop, you just coughed, and coughed and cried until you fainted on the floor. 

---

You woke up the next morning, lying down on the cold tiles of your bathroom floor, which was tainted with blood, flowers, and petals scattered around you. Your sink and bathtub almost filled with the same contents. 

Your throat hurts so much, and whenever you take even the shortest of breaths, it felt like something would be pinching your lungs, meaning that your breathing was very limited.

Standing up, you held onto the the sink for support, staring into your reflection in the mirror, you were horrified. You were a complete mess. You, once more looked at your surroundings, not knowing what was happening to you. 

You picked up a flower from the sink, examining it, “Are these actually flowers..?” your other hand then flew to your neck, feeling a slight sharp pain when you spoke. While you were having trouble about what to believe or not, you hear your phone ringing from your bedroom. 

You went out of the bathroom, stumbling as you did. Seeing that the name of the contact was Yeonjun’s, you took your phone and answered almost immediately. 

“Thank God! You finally answered! I was worried sick. ” you could hear him sigh in relief at the end of his sentence. You forced out a chuckle.

“I’m sorry, Jjun. I-I was just dealing with something.”

“I see.. well, I just wanted to check up on how you were doing? You alright, bun?”

“I’m.. I'm doing alright.. how ‘bout you?” Yeonjun frowned, noticing how your tone and voice were very different than before. Call him weird for that, but he could know if you weren’t alright just by hearing your voice. He didn’t hear that chirpy pitch you had when speaking, you sounded so dull to him. You hated that you couldn’t really hide anything that you felt, not that you actually mind, but it could be annoying. That also meant he could indicate if you were lying or not, very easily.

“You don’t sound alright. Something happened?”

“I’m alright Jjun, just a little cold, that can’t kill me, can’t it?” you joked, that still didn’t sit well with Yeonjun. But he didn’t wanna force something out of you, and maybe he was just over reacting, so he sighed and gave you some things you could do to get through your cold without any complications. You thanked him and he excused himself, saying that he needed to go help his grandparents with cooking breakfast.

“You should go eat something too, y/n.”

“How did you..-”

“I always know,” you chuckle at that. You didn’t necessarily found that creepy or anything, it was just surprising how Yeonjun knew you all too well. "Well, it's easier when I was with you through almost all your life." he laughed.

“I need to go now, bun, call you later, yeah?” you hummed in approval and bid your goodbyes. 

After the call ended, you went back to your bathroom, still not wanting to believe the scene that was displayed right in front of you. It looked like a place where a murder had taken place. It smelled so foul, you wanted to vomit, but with the lack of contents in your stomach, you just couldn’t.

After cleaning the bathroom and yourself, you went to your kitchen and took out some left over soup then heated it while checking on the internet what you were feeling. But, nothing seemed to be showing up. 

You wanted to say that you might just be hallucinating the flowers and blood, but you just cleaned your bathroom and clothes. You felt each flower and petals before throwing them into the trashcan. They felt real. They were real. The blood was also real, you could still taste metallic flavor at the back of your throat. 

You gave up on searching what you were feeling, nothing was popping up on Google, YouTube, and etc. it was just wasting your time. You thought it’ll pass, but you wanted to know what caused it. As you scrolling through your phone, you suddenly came across a picture of you and Ryan on your first date. 

You treasured that photo so much. You and Ryan had so much fun during that date. He took you to your favorite restaurant, then watched the sunset at the near edge of a cliff, sitting down on top of his car. You slammed your fists onto the table, cringing and asking yourself how foolish you were for loving him. You saw the signs right in front of you, yet your brain was too farsighted to even read them. Yeonjun even warned you about him. But you still loved him so so much. You wanted to hate him so badly but your heart just wouldn’t allow it.

You suddenly felt that tight feeling in your chest and it was slowly getting hard to breathe. You wanted to stand up to go get your inhaler, but it was too late. You started to cough again, covering your mouth instinctively. When you look down at your hands, you saw a whole flower, displayed right in front of you. A white rose, tinted with blood. At first the flower you were coughing out the night before wasn't so recognizable, since most of them were closed.

You stayed like that for over an hour. You were crying in pain but no one could even hear you. You were alone. After that you just laid your head on the table, sobbing. You knew crying was useless right now. But what else could you do? Your used to be the love of your life was cheating on you with another woman behind your back. Someone who seemed more prettier, sexier, blonde, heck maybe she could've been better than you with everything. She's perfect for him. You thought, heart aching as your thoughts run wildly through your head.

What also pained you is that he didn't even bother to actually pay you a visit. Message you. Or whatever. Did the time you guys shared together, nothing? Were you nothing? Weren't you enough? Was he actually happy that you finally broke off with him? Did he actually love you? You banged your head to your table, wanting these thoughts to stop.

Your best friend, and probably your only true friend in this cruel world, still hasn't come back in town yet. He was the only one whom was there for you when you were lost in life and didn't know what to do. No parents. Relatives. Just you. And now you're all alone, suffering from something you don't even know. All you know is that it just makes you feel more like shit than you already are now. It just adds to the pain and stress that you're going through.

You wanted to call Yeonjun and tell him what actually happened and what was happening to you. But you didn't wanna burden him while he must be having the time of his life with his family. Something in you also really didn't want him to see you like this.

↻ - time skip to 9:45pm - ⟳

After a while, you felt as if you wanted to take your own life right then and there. Every time you thought about that filthy liar, Ryan, you immediately start to cough. Who could blame you though? Sometimes more blood would come out than the flower or petals. Your breathing became more and more limited, feeling something sharp poking you from the inside while you even attempt to breathe.

It was just pure torture for you. You wanted all this to stop. It was becoming more and more unbearable by each agonizing moment. You asked yourself; what did I ever do to deserve this?

Just then, your phone on your night stand started ringing, you wanted to ignore it, but seeing as it was Yeonjun's contact whom was calling you, you had to answer. You didn't want that man to waste his time tryna call you back multiple times whilst almost getting a stroke just by worrying about you.

You weakly reached out to your phone. Once you answer it, you tried your best to greet him with a cheerful tone like you once had before. But your body just wouldn't allow it. Your voice was tired and hoarse.

"Woah, did your cold get worse, bun?" concern could be heard from his voice.

"Mhm, unfortunately,"

"Are you sure it's just a cold, sweetheart?" your breath hitched, pausing for a second before answering.

"Y-yeah.. But it's not something I can't handle..!"

"Mhm," he hummed, almost sarcastically. "Well, tell me whenever that cold of yours starts to calm down, alright?" of course, Yeonjun didn't believe a word you said. You sounded so sorrowful. He got chills up his spine whenever you spoke but not in this way.

"By the way, y/n, I'm going back home tomorrow evening."

"TOMORROW!?" you almost jumped from your bed. No. Not tomorrow. Not when I haven't even found out how to get rid of this.. Curse. You thought.

"Yeah? Geez bunny, you sound like you're not happy about that, don't you miss me?" he said, jokingly, yet inside he was being serious, trying to see if he'd get something to slip out of you. His arms crossed as he leaned on the door frame of his room

"N-no! I really do miss you! I-it's just, d-don't you wanna spend some m-more time with your family there?" you were struggling as you tried to think of things to tell him.

"I spent quite enough time with them. And my gramps have more than enough grandkids there to help them."

"I-I see.." you faked a yawn before forcing out a chuckle, "W-why won't you look at that, I n-need to go to bed now haha. Good night Jjun..!" you ended the call before he could even wish you goodnight.

Curling up into a ball, trying to fall asleep. And which, you eventually did.

~~

"Y/n, I'm sorry, please, forgive me? I promise I'll never do anything as stupid as I did before please, come back to me," Ryan said as he went down on his knees, his hands desperately holding yours captive as if he was gonna fall from a cliff if he were to let go.

"I-I don't know Ryan..'" you answered, looking down, but your eyes averted his. Just then he got up and held your shoulders, shaking you aggressively as he yelled.

"Y/N PLEASE!" you stared at him with wide eyes, for some reason you were peralized on the spot. You tried to move and push him away, but to your horror, once you laid hands on him, your hand went through him. You retract your hand from his body. It was covered with this black substance.

You looked back at Ryan, whom was looking directly at you, a rose in his mouth, petals all over his used to be white smooth skin, which was now just complete black mush. You wanted to scream, but can't. Ryan kept on yelling the same thing. Begging you to come back to him.

"I know you still love me! So come back!" just then, his mush body started to melt right in front of you.

"I NEED YOU!"

~~

You gasp, sitting up from your bed, you looked around, seeing that you were actually in your room, you sighed in relief. "It was just a nightmare." you told yourself. You were covered in cold sweat. Your whole body slightly shaken up.

Your eyes then drifted to your bed when you felt your hand come in contact with something soft and silky. You almost screamed when you saw your white bed sheets were tainted with blood and roses.

"You've got to be kidding me right now.." caressing the blood stains with your thumb, "Even in my sleep..? What the fuck?" your attention suddenly turned to your hand. Your skin was paler than before due to blood loss.

"I might die without even fucking trying." you punched your bed before getting up to go clean yourself. You haven't went outside for only a day and a half, yet it felt like you were imprisoned in your house for decades.

So you picked out some clothes and went to your front door, hesitating to open it at first but you eventually did. The sun was covered with some grey clouds, you didn't complain though. You let the cool breeze of wind hit your warm pail skin.

You were walking around your neighborhood then went to a park nearby. While walking, you came across an old familiar tree. It was the tree where you and Yeonjun met when you were still little kids, you were new to the neighborhood that time, you were lost and Yeonjun found you crying while standing right next to that tree. He asked you where you lived and you just described what color your house was and what plants were at your front portch. You giggled at that memory, yet it was also the tree where your name and Ryan's were carved on, a crooked heart surrounding your names in the middle.

You walked towards the tree, placing a hand on the carved letters, sweet memories started to come back to you, making you smile softly. But your thoughts vanished when you heard a couple laughing on a bench right in front of the tree. You hid behind it and peeked your head instinctively to check who they were or did they see you.

You saw a girl with brown silky hair, pretty slim body and slightly tanned skin. When you looked at the man right next to her, your world wanted to crumble right then and there. The boy was none other than Ryan.

You wanted to leave immediately, since you looked like a creep staring at a cute couple. What made you sick to your stomach and your knees weaken was when you saw him kiss her the way he used to kiss you. But the way he stared at her was completely different. He looked into her eyes with a sparks in his.

You suddenly punched the tree, and once you realized what you did you immediately ran away. Stupid! Why’d you do that you fucking idiot?

Ryan looked back to check what made the loud thud from behind them, but all he saw was a person running away, wearing a black hoodie. He couldn't even recognize you. He shrugged and went back to talking to his date.

Seriously? Of all places? He chose to have a date here?! you though to yourself, your back against your door, sliding down, trying to catch your breath, little by little. You ran back to your house after punching that tree. You didn’t know what came over you. 

Staring at your fist, slightly bloody, splinters poking your fists, you sighed. You were pretty sure you’d be passing out anytime soon due to too much blood loss. You got up and went to your bathroom, taking out a first aid and washing your hands, removing the splinters before grabbing some bandages to patch yourself up.

While wrapping the bandage around your fists, you imagined how Ryan would take care of you right now. Standing right behind you, wrapping the bandage oh so gently around your wound and kissing it once he was finished. No. You shook your head. 

“You’re being delusional.” you tell yourself. It was true though. Ryan would never do that. He had always been a jerk when it came to you. He was just acting all lovey-dovey with you when you were with Yeonjun. You didn’t realize that until now. 

The image you made of him in your mind made you believe he was the perfect and best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. But in fact, he was the complete polar opposite. You were just imagining every single scenario where you and him had the perfect life.

You hated yourself for being so foolish as to fall in love with that jerk in the first place. Yet you also pity yourself, you loved and loved, even if it made you a selfless maniac. You even gave all the love that you saved up for yourself. 

You wanted to hate him for that, yet your heart just couldn’t. No matter how hard you tried. Telling yourself that he wasn’t the one and he was just a total jerk that made you his past time, and just for him to keep a good reputation, wasn’t enough for you to move on. 

You sat down on the rim of your tub, feeling so light headed and dizzy. You started to feel something clogging your throat, making it very hard to breathe. You immediately bent down to your bath tub as you tried to put two fingers down your throat, trying to trigger your gagging reflexes and let out whatever was clogging your throat.

You felt something all too familiar. You knew what it was so without hesitation you pulled out the white rose, but this time, it had some sort of stem attached to it. Unlike the others, this was the only one whom had a stem.

A second or two pass, you started feeling sick to your stomach and vomited tons of blood and flowers all over your bath tub. Your hand slipped and you fell into the tub. You watched in horror at what was happening, making you let out more and more of the already scattered contents in your tub. You wanted to scream like before but couldn't. You could almost suffocate at so much of blood and flowers you were letting out all at once, your body not even having sympathy to give you time to breathe.

You were in too much pain to even notice that someone was banging at your front door so hard. Yeonjun.

He came home earlier than he told you he'd be. And when he got to your place and he saw one dim light from your room was open, the source being bedroom's bathroom light.

He was so worried when you didn't even pick up the phone not even once when he reaches your home. Your bike was still locked, and he knew you couldn't go very far without that bike. He looked through your living room window, and nothing seemed to be out of place.

So he just thought of one thing, forcing his way in. He didn't care if he might be charged for trespassing by the neighbors. He knew that you were inside. And he knew something was wrong.

"This fucking door-!" he groaned, giving the poor door one last kick.

Once he finally broke your door open, he entered the house, he immediately heard faint cries from upstairs. He went upstairs, faster than light. He swore he almost could've tripped but even if he did, there was no stopping him from getting to you right now

He reached your room, and saw the bathroom door slightly opened, your cries louder than before.

"Y/n!" he yelled out, completely opening the door. The scenery displayed right in front of him was almost something out of a horror movie. Blood was everywhere, roses here and there. His stomach also almost turned at the foul smell. But what made his heart drop was when he saw you.

You were inside your bath tub, hugging your knees close to you, your head laying on your knees as you coughed and vomited flowers and blood on your lap. Your hair was drenched in blood, some petals tangled along your locks. Yeonjun wasted no time to run to your side and held your shoulders for you to look at him, one hand flying to your cheek, caressing it.

"Y/n..?? W-what's happening to you..!? Is this what you've been going through all this time?" no answer. He watched you as tears went down you steaming cheeks fell from your eyes. Blood from your mouth down to your neck and clothes. His eyes drifted to your tub almost half way filled with blood.

"Shit...." He picked you up and held you in his arms. He didn't care if you were gonna ruin his clothes or stain his body with blood. What mattered to him right now was to get you to the hospital.

Opening the car door with his right hand for a second and slightly kicking it for him to have more access. He placed you right next to the drivers seat, putting a seatbelt around you. He soon came in the car himself, he looked at you and moved away some stray hairs from your face and kissed your forehead, "Don't worry, bun. Hang in there, alright?" his voice was shaking, but he composed himself and started to drive. Fast. Yet was trying to be careful not to do anything stupid.

Once he reached the hospital, he quickly yet, carefully got you out of the car and barging in, yelling that you need assistance, now. The nurses immediately took out a hospital bed and Yeonjun laid you there. He was with you the whole time they were bringing you inside the ER, holding your hand, praying to whatever God was listening and seeing you guys right now that you could make it.

He kissed your uninjured hand when he saw that you were close to the ER, meaning he'd be leaving you in doctors care now. His grip on your hand tightened before letting go. Once last cough and you finally could gasp for air after that, your vision became blurry, and all you saw before the closed the door was Yeonjun. Crying and was down on his knees. Then it was all black.

---

Yeonjun had been waiting for you to wake up in the hospital since the day he brought you there. He was talking to the doctor and asked him what sickness or disease you had. He’d heard about coughing out blood, sure. But he had never in his whole life has seen nor heard about coughing blood with flowers.

The doctor said the same thing. This was something new to him too. 

“I don’t know what your girlfriend has, Mr. Choi,” Yeonjun stared at the doctor, his mind trying to comprehend what he had just heard, Girlfriend?, he throught to himself. He didn’t wanna ask the Doctor where he got the idea of him being your boyfriend, since he was the one whom brought you here in tears.

“But hopefully, we’ll be able to find out ourselves soon after we do some more further analysis and research about what she’s currently experiencing.” the doctor paused for a second, checking the paper in his hands before proceeding to speak. 

“As for now, please do keep an eye on her. Make sure she drinks lots and lots of water and eats a proper meal on time. That’ll hopefully restore some more of the blood and nutrients she lost.” Yeonjun nodded and response, thanking the Doctor as he shook hands with him before he left to go check on another patient.

“Where is Y/n Y/l/n’s room?! I need to see her right now!” 

Yeonjun was about to enter your room, but the sudden mention of your name made him stop and look at the direction where the voice came from. His look of concern suddenly changing to a look of pure annoyance and anger. 

There at the corner of the hallway, Ryan could be seen charging towards your room. Yeonjun crossed his arms while looking at Ryan from head to toe whom just took a stop a few feet away from Yeonjun.

“And what are you doing here?” Ryan asked, pointing a finger at Yeonjun.

“Don’t point your filthy hands at me.” he shoved Ryan’s finger away with his. “and, shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

“What the fuck do you mean man? Stop being such a jerk and just let me see Y/n!”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. I’m here because I’m the one who brought her here. If you were her boyfriend and actually cared and loved her, why just show up now that she’s in this state?”

“Mind your own business, mate!” Ryan tried to shove Yeonjun away from the door, but Yeonjun stood firm on his ground.

“Y/n is my business. Where the fuck have you been? Y/n has been going through this shit for almost 3 days now! And now you decide to take action? YOU DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING TO MAKE HER PAIN AND STRUGGLING GO AWAY! if anything.. I'M PRETTY SURE YOU MADE IT WORSE. Do you fucking know who puts up with her whenever she’s sick? Who’s her shoulder to lean and cry on when she needs it? Who makes sure all are needs are met at the end of the day? Who stays up late with her all night when she has bad dreams? If you’re thinking of someone other than your fucking self, then you’re automatically correct, asshole!” Yeonjun popped a nerve that very second and gave Ryan a hard punch to his nose, breaking it.

“I never really understood how someone as lovely, caring, smart, like Y/n, had to be paired with you. Of all fucking peop---” punch. Yeonjun held his jaw, hanging it open for a second while glaring at Ryan whom was fuming with anger.

"Then thanks for being my girlfriend's care taker, y-" Ryan got another punch to his eye and fell back.

"I had just about enough of you." Yeonjun was about to pounce on Ryan but nurses and security had been sent to stop the fighting. Yeonjun was looking down at Ryan, whom was acting like a complete mad dog. He mouthed a 'fuck you' 'before Ryan got taken away.

Yeonjun sighed and fixed his clothes before entering your room. Where he was surprised that you were already wide awake. Looking back at him as he entered the room.

You woke up to the sounds of men fighting in the hallways. You had heard everything. Yeonjun went down on his knees as he held your hand in his. Eyes all teary.

"Y/n..? Hey bun, how are you feeling? Something hurt or-?" you tried to avoid eye contact with him. Feeling ashamed once you realize what you made your best friend go through by taking care of you. You just simply shook your head.

Yeonjuns kissed the knuckles of your hand before bending over to hug your torso, quietly sobbing into your shoulder. "You fucking idiot, y/n. I thought I was gonna loose you.." his hug tightened, yet it wasn't enough to break anything that was attached to you right now.

"Yeonjun.. Don't you think I'm a burden to you?" still not facing him, he lifter his head, eyes slightly wide after hearing what you just asked.

"No! Why would you ever think that, bun?" you murmured something not even you knew. He frowned and placed a hand on your chin, gently guiding your head to turn his way.

"Bunny, you're not a burden to me, alright? If you heard what I said in the hallways.. I didn't mind if you tired me out. Because at the end of the day, I see you smile and know that you're in safe hands whenever you're with me. That's enough to give me a complete energy boost." you have him a weak smile, you could cry right now, but you've cried way too much for the past three days, you don't know if you had any more tears left to cry.

"T-thank you Jjun.." he gave you a warm smile, kissing your forehead as he locked his hand that was on your chin, was now drifting to your cheek, gently pinching it.

"Always, my cute little bunny." he stood up, suddenly remembering something. "Oh! You need to eat. Doctor said you need to eat tons of food to get better." he took the lunchbox that was in a small bag and took a table, placing it in front of him as he adjusts your bed to make you sit down.

"Tons? I might get fat-"

"Don't give a fuck." and with that, he fed you until your body almost couldn't take anymore food.

---

A few days pass and you were discharged from the hospital. Somehow, you convinced Yeonjun to come and live with you. You two were living alone And it was easier for the both of you.

"I have a huge ass house that I live alone in, and you live alone in that crappy apartment! And since you're barely even home because you're usually with me.. Why not just move in with me, hmm?" and it didn't take long for him to go with your idea. The next day he was already at your door with all his stuff in boxes.

Your condition went away quickly than expected. You were just coughing less few petals than before with also less blood. Your breathing was no longer an issue. You were getting better and better as the days passed when you were with Yeonjun.

When you told him what happened between you and Ryan, he swore on his mother that he's not letting him go home with just a broken nose and a black eye. But he was also happy that you finally broke it off with that jerk.

"Do we need to call the Mental Hospital for him or something? He's been claiming that he's your boyfriend the second he stepped foot in the hospital!" you chuckle awkwardly. He also was trying to help you get over Ryan these past few days, but when he hugged you, you would never know that he was grinning as if he'd just lured another prey into his cage.

He knew that being happy that your best friend was going through a break up was wrong. But he couldn't help himself. He didn't have bad intentions. All he ever wanted was for you to be his.

And when the day came when he finally got to confess, turns out that you felt the same way. Let's just say he was hysterical that moment. He couldn't help but just pounce on you like a puppy and kiss you. Oh boy how he longed for this moment.

“I’ll show you how you deserved to be loved and taken care of. I know I could treat you way better than any other man had before.”

You were laid down on the bed underneath Yeonjun, still fully clothed. He was staring down at you with adoration and fire in his eyes. How your skin glowed underneath the bright light of the moon. How you stared at him with eyes twinkling like stars. How your soft lips were parted. Everything about you he wanted to ruin.

He wanted to see your fair skin covered with his mark. Eyes tearing up as pleasure builds up inside of you. Lips quivering as he overstimulates you. Just the thoughts that he had right now were enough to make his member hard. But he needed to contain himself. It was your first time, he didn’t wanna take it too far.

Yeonjun then started to kiss your forehead, trailing down to your lips, looking at you with lustful yet gentle eyes. 

“Are you sure about this, y/n?” he has asked you this before you even got inside the bedroom with him. You cupped his cheek, pecking his lips before speaking.

“I am very very sure of this, Jjun. Just.. let’s just start slow, yeah?” Yeonjun shot you a soft smirk. 

“And slow you will get, my love.” he then started to leave sweet kisses on your neck and collar bone, which you were sure that those would leave marks on your neck, but you could care less. He took his time unbuttoning your blouse and once your clothed chest were already on display for him, just one last layer, he thought. He lifted your body up by your waist, swiftly removing the hook of your bra. 

He looked up at you with hungry eyes, asking for consent. You just nod, throwing your head back, the cold air passing through your nipples, hardening them.

He wasted no time and took in one of your nipples in his mouth, toying with it with his tongue. His hand flying to your breast, massaging them as his thumb was circling the lonely nipple. He was watching you with every action he did, searching for a reaction that you may not like it or if you wanted more.

You covered your mouth with your free hand as the other was gently gripping the sheets. Yeonjun didn’t like that. He gently bites your nipple, making you slightly jump.

“No no, princess. Let me hear those pretty sounds of yours, yeah?” you were hesitant, but didn’t want to upset him, you obeyed, shakily retracting your hand from your mouth.

Yeonjun smirked, kissing your nipple. “That’s my good slut.”

As he was playing with your breasts, his knee was teasing your already dripping core under your skirt. You let out cute little whines and moans that were sweet music to Yeonjun’s ears.

Once he was finished toying with your tits, he finally went downtown, carefully removing the short skirt, helping him by lifting up your ass. 

“Shit.” he whispered, staring at your dripping core. He blew on it first, checking your reaction. Your hand flew to his hair, gently gripping it, trying not to hurt him.

“P-please.. No more teasing,” Yeonjun chuckled, seeing how you were so sensitive when he barely even touched you.

“Aww,” he cooed, “My precious cute bunny is so polite. Wait a little longer bun, alright? You’ll get what you want. Just be good, yeah?” you hummed whilst nodding. He then slowly enters one of his digits inside of you, making you squirm slightly in place. 

“Shit, baby.. I was supposed to prepare you for later. But you’re already so fucking wet. I think I wouldn’t have to do much, sweetheart. But since it’s also your first time, I’ll still prep you, just in case.” he felt you body suddenly tense up, so he caresses his thumb to your inner thigh.

“It’s alright bun, lay back and relax, let me take care of you.” you did what you were told and he proceeded to pump his digit into you, adding a second one not too long after. You were whining and moaning like crazy, you legs started to shiver and your breathing slowly became more labored. 

“You doing alright there, bun?” his fingers threatening to slow down, you pathetically grind your pussy on his hand once he did slow down.

“Please Jjun.. Keep going. Please, please, please- ahh!” you arch your back and mouth open wide once Yeonjun pumped faster than before, hitting your g-spot every time. He then entered another finger into you, making you shake your head once you felt a sharp stinging pain as his digits stretch your walls.

“‘m too full.. It hurts a bit..” you cry out softly.

“Shh.. I’ll slow down for now. You’ll get through it, bun. Just need to stretch you out a little bit more just so you’d have no problems taking me later, ‘kay?” after a while of him pumping the last digit slowly and deeper inside of you, he noticed how full you got and gently pulled out. 

“I think you’re ready, physically..” he murmured the last word before looking at you. “But are you ready, ready?” you took a moment to catch your breath before answering him.

“Yes. I am.”

“Alright, bun.” he gave you a peck on the lips before gazing into your eyes.

“I love you. Thank you for letting me be your first.” 

“I love you more, Jjunnie.”

The next day, you woke up in Yeonjun’s arms, your head rested on his bare chest. You couldn’t believe what just happened last night. You couldn’t exactly remember everything clearly, but all you knew that Yeonjun had taken good care of you.

He always asked if you were comfortable with everything he was doing. Asked you if anything hurt. He made you feel so beautiful, safe and loved throughout the whole night. 

You looked up and Yeonjun whom was sound asleep as you were cuddled up right next to him. You snuggled closer to him and kissed his nose, a cheeky smile was suddenly plastered on his face.

“Now that.. was just adorable.” he said, eyes still completely shut and his voice still deep and slightly groggy. Your cheeks heated up all of the sudden, not really expecting him to be awake. 

He giggled as he pinched your cheek and sat you up on his stomach, his hands resting on your waist. 

“You weren’t too bad for your first time, cute little bunny.” you let out an annoyed groan after hearing his statement. It was more like he was teasing you more than complimenting you.

He finally opened his eyes and he swore to his whole family that he saw a Goddess right before him.

Your messy hair was shining as sunlight seeped through some parts of the window above the headboard of the bed. Some parts of your hair were also elegantly placed on your shoulder. Your fair skin was decorated with his love marks. Your eyes were still a bit monolid as of now but it made you look more hot. To call you beautiful was an understatement. No, no. You were gorgeous. He looked your exposed body up and down without any ounce of shame, witch made you take the whole blanket and rolled down to your side of the bed once you figured out what he was doing.

Yeonjun laughed, turning to your side and placed a hand on your waist once more. He leaned in closer to your ear. 

“Aww, my bunny still shy even after what we did last night?” 

“Yeonjun! Do you literally wake up and immediately chose to tease me?!” you pout, turning your head to face him. Which yours was completely red, making him laugh again.

“Mmm~ maybe? Or maybe I’m just craving for a round two.” he winked at you, making you stand up immediately from your bed, still covered in your blanket.

“Maybe if you catch me.” you stuck your tongue out at him before speed running downstairs.

“Oh you just wait, Y/n!” he quickly put on his boxers before going downstairs to go look for you. 

Once he finally caught up to you, you both were sweating bullets and breathing heavily. Yeonjun was hugging you from behind, while you effortlessly tried to escape, but just endep up sighing and turned around to hug him back.

You both stood there for a while in silence before you spoke. 

“I’m so lucky to have you, Jjun.. I don’t know where I’d be if you weren’t here.” 

Yeonjun chuckled, ruffling your hair before replying. “Mmm.. Maybe you had still been crying at the police station crying that you don’t exactly know where you live.” you pinch his ear, tugging on it slightly.

“Stop bringing that up!”

“But it’s cute!”

“It’s not!”

“Stop arguing with me before I kiss you.”

“Aw hell naw.” you jokingly push him away, acting all disgusted, “don’t kiss me when you haven’t even brushed your teeth.”

“Are you implying that my breath stinks!?” 

“Maybe~” you blew him a kiss and ran away without another word.

“Why you- I swear you’re gonna be so sorry when I get a hold of you, Y/n!”

A/n: Hi luv! If you made it this far, thank you for taking your time to read this piece of mine! If you like this post please do consider rebloging and liking, it helps with the algorythm alot! Or you could just leave me a reply/comment about your thoughts! Thank you and enjoy the rest of your day/night!

[nico-the-overlord]

Yeah I know I’m two days late but my garbage camera quality made me redraw and color sketches I originally wanted to post on March 14th so uh, here!

Below is just rambling about these drawings+another little drawing+facts and ramblings about berries ig

Pi pie with loganberry filling and close up of the card (puns were low hanging fruit but I had to take them)

Brief loganberry history- Logan berries are a cross of blackberries and raspberries, created and named after James Harvey Logan in 1881. He didn’t really like existing varieties of either berry so said “fuck it, I’ll do it myself”. It gets even more complex with crossing because another type called boysenberry is made of a cross of loganberries, blackberries, and raspberries and was made in 1920’s. That or a loganberry and dewberry scientist aren’t super sure where it came from. Another variety called olallieberry was made crossing loganberries and another called a youngberry in 1930’s-1950’s. I got this all through brief searches. I only know about loganberries because of ONE mention of it in the show. I didn’t know four of these berries existed till now HOW MANY BERRIES EXIST?? (Google says 400+, I need to stop before I go deeper into searching ok onto the drawings,)

I’m actually kind of proud about these drawings as simple as they are?? This is the first time I’ve fully colored and drawn a pieces of fanart for this fandom which wow, idk why it took me THIS long to make art for it and I have yet to draw more

I did give Logan pi earrings because ✨I can✨

Image on the right, Logan is supposed to be holding a throw pillow/round pillow. I wanted to make it pi themed but I wasn’t sure how to convey that? Or the fact it is a pillow? Idk not too sure of that drawing but I’m gonna share it anyways

If it weren’t for Logan I would have forgotten pi day existed so thanks to him for that

I can finally let myself sleep I wanted to finish this so badly ok bye

[mistamorgana]

( this is not made to hate on anyone and isn’t directed at anyone !!! no matter how you interpret it , i promise this is just something i have had on my mind for EVER that i need to get out )

not to rant on main but as mother’s day was yesterday and i do have a REN kiddo , i’d like to talk about something that really just should not irk my nerves as much as it does : emma getting pregnant 😭

before you click off of this post , i of course respect other’s headcanons and choices with their aus and such but this still makes me a bit ‘oh’ /RESPECTFULLY in an ‘it’s-not-you-it’s-me’ way !! do what makes you happy :D

( i think we all have this for certain things 😭 )

while i am heavily set on the hc of her being a transgender female ( because look at her and tell me she is cis /j i'm not one of those people i promise ) in mostly everything i make of her , i do understand that she’s most definitely 99.9% if not 100% cis in canon . no doubt honestly ( the 0.01% is my delusional ass hoping i get a trans confirmation from one of my favorite pieces of media of all time )

don't get me wrong though because i know sooo many people would take a short look at my headcanons and go ‘what the fuck is this…?’ , so i just scroll and go on with my day instead of doing what a good majority of the internet loves to do and leave hate comments etc. . no matter how much you don’t like something , nobody deserves or wants a hate comment on something they love and or are proud of . especially if it's harmless !!

i do think a large large large part of the reason i still have some tiny problems with NE exclusively on their own ( they HAVE to be NE [ R ] implied for me to really like them together ) is how they’re portrayed at times , such as the way some people can make them such an insufferable and basic , generic mlw ship or their rude fans ( TWITTER… not everyone on there of course , some NE shippers are really nice esp on here yes nikki i am looking at you but also i haven’t had any bad encounters with an NE shipper on here thank god )

one of these ways is how they portray emma , but even before discovering some things i didn’t like NE , i still don’t think i would particularly go for a scenario where emma carries a child in the future

it just does not seem like her getting pregnant fits her character at all , no matter her sex . i will get a little hypocritical right here , no bad ways i don't think , because while i do think emma wouldn't want to be in a romantic relationship with anyone , i am such an obvious sucker for REN 😞 but i do love aroace emma and considering her character i think it fits her well

ANYWAY—

i'm not going to pull this sequence from the manga out of my ass and say ‘she wouldn’t wanna have a baby because of isabella etc etc blah blah blah’

while that COULD be a big plausible reason , i think if she really wanted to , she wouldn’t let that effect her decisions in the end . emma isn't like that ; she does what the fuck she wants and that's the emma we know and love 🔥🔥

now i’m just going to flat out say it : i don't have a big ass reason as to why i don’t think she’d get pregnant , should she able to 🤷‍♀️ i'm not going to lie and try and act like i do either

even though i don’t care for the ways some NE artists have portrayed emma , especially in the future , that’s not what i’m putting on here . in my opinion , that’s not really a valid reason and it’s more of an ‘oh i don’t like the way they did it so it’s wrong and not true to canon because i say so’ type of excuse in my opinion , which i don’t like

in truth i just genuinely don’t think emma would try and aim for that . while she would definitely go through with it for whatever reason ( except to become a mama at gracefield , of course ) , unless it was necessary to give up due to a risk to her own health or the baby’s , it’s just NotmyEmma™️ to me .

that just does not feel like emma in my opinion . i think that if she wanted a kid , she’d much rather prefer to adopt than to bring in a child on her own accord when there’s plenty out there in an orphanage or foster care wanting to be loved . that’s all , sorry for the yap session 😭

thanks for coming to my sheldon talk guys remember this is just my opinion please don't put me on the stake 💔💔

don't let this affect your opinions or hcs either ; if your shit truly makes you happy and or brings you comfort , don’t let other ppl ruin that :]

[my-brothers-corrupted]

My Brothers, Corrupted

Book Five: Final Section

As we draw to a close, the brothers name kittens and look back at where they used to be. Masterlist

Tws for grief, past abuse, and past distress. Tws may not be completely exhaustive - keep in mind the heaviness of the fic and look out for yourself.

Thank you to @lehhoh7822 for taking the time to compile this book! Genuinely, I would never have been able to post all this without you. Everyone who is reading it again is only do so because of your generosity with your time. Thanks.

.

unpredictably-ghostly asked:

No, I think you might be right, it's about time for us to step back. You guys are moving on from your time with Anti, and we were a part of that, but now things are getting better, you don't really need us anymore. We're all so proud of you for how far you've come, and for all the wonderful things there can be in your futures. You deserve independence and freedom, and if that means we have to start saying goodbye, that's what we can do <3

“I mean, it’s - it’s about us stepping back, not you,” says Marvin tenderly, glancing away. “You were there in Anti’s time, yeah, but not in a bad way. Like the way my brothers were there when Anti was there. Not in a bad way.”

He hears Henrik laughing from the room over. There’s evening light in Marvin’s eyes.

“Has been a long time, hasn’t it?” he muses. “I don’t think it’s occurred to the others so much that maybe it’s a little strange to have you around. Schneep in particular is really attached to having you around. I think ever since he was alone with the magicians in Peru he’s been very attached. But you’ve been something very stable to all of us, through a lot of different phases. I don’t know how to express to you how valuable that’s been.”

He’s maybe shy about it, because he won’t quite look at you.

“Anyway, it’s just a heads up,” he adds. “Just a thought.”

scunneredzombie asked:

Of course you can be on camera less guys! You've done so much healing, we're one of the last pieces of the past, and it makes sense to slowly let us go. Just be sure to update us any time you can, we love seeing you healthy and thriving and healing.

“Yeah, updates,” nods Marvin. “We could do that. Maybe start to move towards interacting more normally. Like updating a friend instead of live-streaming your life for them.”

He chuckles. “There will be less and less worth ‘live-streaming,’ as we move past some of our drama and put ourselves back together more and more. And that, I think, is a good thing.”

Anonymous asked:

We've been a line of truth and sanity for you guys for a long long time now, I understand why Henrik and all of you would be attached to us

“Right,” says Marvin, scraping his fingers over his scalp. “Sometimes the only line of truth and sanity. But at the same time, it’s not exactly healthy to be over-reliant on anonymous strangers talking to us from countries away, no matter how much we appreciate you all. And I don’t want you to feel that you have to watch over us, either. Certainly we couldn’t have gotten here without you, but we are here now, you know? It will have ups and downs, but we’re learning to make our own decisions a little easier. To solve our own problems without needing as much encouragement and help as we used to. That being said… you are a dearly comforting safety net.”

crystalninjaphoenix asked:

It's okay, Marvin. I will admit, I'll be a bit sad, but we can't constantly be there, you know? That'll probably have some sort of effect on you guys. Don't worry about it. We're okay.

Marvin smiles at you, shaking his head.

“I figure for all the worrying you’ve done for us, it’s only fair to worry a little bit in return. I’m glad that Anti’s system remained running even after he died. The thought that we could have just been cut off from you then and there… that would have been fucking hopeless. Sometimes you were the only voices we put any faith in. The only stability we had to cling to.”

It’s uncharacteristically soft. Uncharacteristically needy, in the sense that he hates letting most anyone know he needs them. But you know that by now. You know him.

“Thank you for that,” he says, quiet and firm. “For everything.”

Anonymous asked:

Privacy is something you lot haven't had in years. I think turning us off now and then is alright, you deserve to have times just for yourself. No audience, no cameras, no livestreaming. Just brothers, family, and healing.

“Yep, we’re a little weird like that,” grins Marvin, shaking out his hair again. Just a little bit longer, and he can tie it back. “After the way Anti watched us, having you around without him there was no problem at all. But you’ve never been a burden to us. The lack of privacy, we’ve barely even started recognizing it until now. Change can be scary, but it can also be good.”

The giggling of his nephew and niece draws him from his severity, and he straightens up and smiles like you weren’t talking at all.

“Well, look who it is,” he calls, shaking his head, and ruffles up their hair when they come over to hug him, all full of smiles. “The little devils themselves.”

“Uncle Marvin, are you going to do some magic so Daddy can come see me in Sweden?” asks Hunter, clinging to his pants.

“Of course I am, darling. My friends and I are already working on the mirror so you and Dad can visit each other no problem. Why? Is Mum talking about going home?”

“She said school is going to start,” says Izzy. “So we have to go home on Thursday. But can’t we go to school here?”

“I’m sorry, my dears, but your mother has her work and her life in Sweden now, and it’s better for you to have some stability. But I’m sure Mom and Dad are working out how to have you visit Dad a lot as well. He would even come live closer if he needed to - although I’m hoping I can help work around it.”

He glances out of the side window to see Chase and Stacy deep in conversation on the front porch.

Anonymous asked:

Is something going on Chase?

Marvin tilts his head, looking at Stacy’s face. Chase is turned away from him, but Stacy is looking up at his little brother with big doe eyes.

Marvin cranks the side-window open, just a little.

“You don’t even remember, like, why we split up and all that, and it’s not really fair for me to say one way or the other - ”

“No, I get that, really, Stace, I just - I just want to know where we stand, okay? You’re right, I don’t remember all of it. All my heart knows when I look at you is the way I used to feel, the way we used to be in love, and I just need to know - ”

Marvin closes the window abruptly, blinking.

Anonymous asked:

Marvin, I think you used to have a cat named Queenie? A big fluffy white one! You should ask around and see if anyone has pictures of her, I'm pretty sure the cat collar belonged to her.

Okay, you’re totally correct but quick note: I got too sad to kill Queenie and Athanasius so I used my artistic license and changed their names in this one lol. If you want to refer to them as Queenie and Athanasius that’s no problem, I’ll just have Marvin call them Soup (the female one) and Feichin (the male one), which are the silly names I picked for them in this story. Just so you know!! Either way is fine.

“Aw, a big fluffy cat,” murmurs Marvin, his mouth filling up with a frown. “Poor little things were so ragged on the… you know, on the porch.”

It still makes him sad. He wishes that big fluffy cat were waiting for him now.

Stacy’s pushing in through the door a minute later, and he turns to her with a smile. “Hey,” he says.

She hugs him from the side, which has become their daily greeting. He didn’t need Stacy to explain to him that they had always been close friends: he had felt his warmth for her from the first moment he saw her. He squeezes his sister against him. “Everything okay?”

She hums, nodding for a moment before looking up at him. Her eyes are clean and her mouth smiles. “Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, I think everything is.”

“You can talk to me anytime if you need.”

“We’re okay.”

“Okay. Well, hey, I was wondering if you had any old pictures of my cats?”

Stacy furrows her brow and pulls her phone. “Well, I ought to, seeing as you used to send them to me en masse.”

She holds her phone up for him a moment later, and Marvin’s breath catches in his throat a little.

It’s him on a red couch, leaning back casually, a pair of cats both standing on his legs and resting their front paws on his shoulders. There is a huge, fluffy white one resting primly against his chest and a smaller bengal squinting warmly at the camera.

“Aw,” is all Marvin manages, touching the side of the phone gingerly.

“I’ll send them to you, okay?” offers Stacy.

“Thanks.”

Chase comes in after Stacy, sparing Marvin a smile as he sets some groceries down in their semi-functional kitchen. “Want me to get started on dinner?”

“Oh, I’ll do it, no worries! You just spend some time with the kids and their uncles.”

“Okay.”

Chase comes back to sit down on the floor beside Marvin, who’s still fixed on that image, and his hands resting on the backs of his pets.

Anonymous asked:

(Right, I should've realized the name change!!) Marvin, do you think it would help if you got a cat again? Maybe a friend for Noodle! Or do you feel it would hurt more than help?

“A friend for Noodle,” says Chase eagerly.

Marvin snorts. “Um, I don’t know,” he sighs. “Just reluctant, I guess. Kind of feels like - maybe it’s silly. Kind of just feels like a betrayal. I didn’t even remember my cats. My own cats. That just sucks. And even if I get new ones, it won’t be them again.”

He sighs. “Wish I was a necromancer.”

Chase sinks into his side after a moment, warm and present. Marvin turns and brushes at his hair, smiling at him.

Anonymous asked:

So Chase, how's it going with Stacy?

“Ohhh,” says Chase, turning a little pink. He plays with his fingers. “Oh, you know, fine.”

Marvin is grinning at him. Chase flushes as he looks at him. “What?”

“You were talking pretty loud,” admits Marvin.

Chase sinks a little farther against the wall, smiling a bit despite himself.

“You’re a bold man making a go at her,” says Marvin.

Chase chuckles. “Stupid man. How could I not, though? She’s so pretty.”

“Is she going to give you another chance?”

“No,” says Chase. “But that’s okay. She said it wasn’t fair to me for her to remember all the bad shit we did to each other and me to not remember. She said we broke up for good reasons and right now we need to focus on the kids, which is true. We’re going to learn to be partners in parenting before we even talk about anything else. And that felt right.”

Marvin sets his head back, humming.

“She said she wanted me to date some other people first anyway,” adds Chase. “And that she’s seen some guys here and there and we both need to figure ourselves out a little bit. That felt right too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. But then, just at the end, she said that she still does remember how good it was when we were in love, and that maybe, if we figure things out over the next couple years, and I stay sober - well, we could talk about it again then. But she didn’t want me to wait around for her. She said to go meet people and just worry about myself and the kids.”

Chase closes his eyes and sets his head down on Marvin’s shoulder. “So I think that will all be alright. Just to grow on my own. And now I know.”

“She cut you loose,” says Marvin fondly.

“Yes,” says Chase. “I won’t obsess over her so much now. I’m a free man, Marv.”

“That you are,” says Marvin, kissing the side of his head. “Now and forever.”

“Amen.”

Anonymous asked:

Any luck getting in contact with the Ravens, guys? Henrik I'm sure you miss them majorly, and I'd love for them to get to see you so safe and healthy

“You know, I left them a message just yesterday,” says Henrik, watching a movie with JJ and, now that they’ve run in, the kids. “Marvin’s friends helped find the number, some magic directory, I suppose. Haha. But they did not answer and then the voice message was in Spanish, so I just left a message asking for Emmanuela or Hermann or someone, and hopefully they will call me back. I would like to speak with them very much.”

“Hey.” Chase pokes his head in the door, smiling at his brothers and his children. “Come on and get some dinner.”

They leave the laptop with you on the bed, and as they crowd into the dining room, you realize there are no cameras in there at all: just nearby ones that, over the course of the next hour, send you the sound of their laughter many times over.

.

Anonymous asked:

Have you guys thought about trying to contact Jack? He might remember you once he sees you, like how Dark slowly remembered Anti. It might be worth a shot.

This is an idea I toyed with including, but ultimately, I have decided to leave it to you to imagine whether or not they would contact Jack again and what his reaction might be. Whatever you think is canon, is canon. Thank you for asking.

Okay, guys… if I can hold to my guns, the next scene should be the last :’)

Anonymous asked:

Hey Trick, you should surprise Henrik with some hanukkah candles! The last time he got to celebrate was still in captivity, getting to connect with his religion in a freer state of mind would be wonderful.

“It’s September now,” Henrik says. “Rosh Hashanah will be closer.”

“Summer’s ending,” complains Chase. “I don’t want it to get cold.”

“I do. I will like to see all the leaves turn color and fall onto the grass. And I will have coffee all day and make pie.”

Chase sends him the football along with a look of faux despair, and they laugh as it bounces off Henrik’s foot and nearly hits him in the face. The red ball, a little deflated, rolls back and forth between them on the soft hot grass.

“We can celebrate Rosh Hashanah exactly as you like,” Chase continues, kicking the ball up and catching it on his knee before bouncing it back to his brother. “And Hannukkah too, when it comes. You can have candles and all the latkes you can eat.”

Marvin rests in the grass nearby, Noodle purring next to him as he reads Inkheart. The ball rolls close to him.

“I’m not getting that for you if you hit me with it,” he warns.

Henrik appears above him with the ball, looking mischievous, and Marvin lets out a short bark of warning as he mimics dropping the ball right onto Marvin’s face, catching it again at the last moment. Marvin swats at his ankles in vengeance and Henrik darts away again, laughing.

“Miscreants,” mumbles Marvin, lying back again and stroking Noodle’s back. Jameson waters the flowers around the house and the little cat graves, wandering around the property and the border of the forest with no shoes and total freedom.

Anonymous asked:

So out of curiosity, are all of you in therapy now? If not you should be! All of you need it, even if things feel slowly better, you'll need a professional to help you work through the traumatic memories and feelings. - 🎒

“JJ sees a psychiatrist,” says Chase. “And has a social worker from the hospital checking in with him. Marvin does go to therapy. Him and I have our appointments at the same time, with different shrinks in the same office building. Jackie has been distracted with everything, but from what I understand, he plans to keep going to see someone. Schneep probably needs to see a clinical psychologist too. We’re trying to find someone a little more specialized. Since his triggers are kind of intense. He will, though.”

Henrik nods, returning the ball to his brother. “Need to see a trauma specialist who has worked with torture and abduction before.”

Chase’s mouth purses unhappily, something flashing through his face. But as soon as the grief and the fear appears, Chase lets it go again, closing his eyes for a second and letting it settle back into his mind. They’re safe. There is no reason to grieve anymore, or not right now, anyway. He’s here.

Marvin has cut Henrik’s hair and it is short and neat. His new glasses are still unbroken and always clean of smudges. He wears a t-shirt and sweatpants as they play on the front lawn, and the scars, though visible from several meters back, do not bother him.

They’re not as identical as they once were, Chase supposes, scratching a hand through his flop of hair, his face dotted in freckling. But he thinks maybe that’s a good thing.

Anonymous asked:

Do you still feel any dysphoria over your body, Marv? You've come a long way and I'm proud of you!

Marvin hums, settling the book on his chest for a second and closing his eyes. The warm sun soaks into his skin. Against his body, Noodle is a heavy, fuzzy, reassuring weight.

He isn’t in pain. The body is his.

“My skin isn’t a prison anymore,” he says, running his hands over Noodle’s fur. “I dream, sometimes, that Anti is under my flesh again, and I wake up sick and hating myself. But then I try to take care of myself in revenge.”

He grins coldly, shaking his head.

“It’s my last rebellion against him. He tried to make me hate myself so much. Hate my body. Tried to take my autonomy from me. And I would want to hurt myself because of it. But now - it’s been months since he died. Months since he possessed me. And I won’t give him the privilege of still having control over me and my body. So when I want to hurt myself and hate myself and hide, I get a hot cup of mint tea and wrap my blankets around me and put on clean clothes. I take a long warm shower. I put on my favorite jewelry and comb my hair. I eat. I walk in the forest. Brush my teeth. Kiss our cat.”

His eyes open lazily. The sunlight makes the blue so clear you could swim in it. He is spread out in the grass in a soft white shirt and shorts, his ears and fingers glittering with jewelry. He sinks a hand into the long, overgrown grass, and you see tiny flowers bud up around his palm, a ladybug crawling onto his wrist out of curiosity.

“So I guess I still feel dysphoric, sometimes, yeah. Sometimes cause of Anti and sometimes because I don’t want to be a man today and sometimes because I just want to punish myself for the things that I went through. But I rebel against it… I love myself instead.”

[Anonymous asked:

Sending this as a scene request because it feels like it's too late in the story to send it to Trick. But do you think he'd ever get in contact with Xin Yi again? How would that go? Would they still have crushes on each other, would they end up together? Can we see how that would go when/if it happened? Ty Bee!

I will have to leave that one up to you to imagine - sorry I cannot fulfill the scene request <3 If you want him to find her again, of course he does. I’m not sure how he would - maybe she still runs that same hawker stand with her family back in Singapore, and the boys will go back and travel to all the places they once hid, and meet these people on better terms. Chase’s memory of Xin Yi is limited because Anti tried to get rid of her in his head, but he might remember her better if he could see her again.

I can tell you that my personal headcanon is that Xin Yi and the sunbird magician in Singapore, Caleb, met after what happened, because Xin Yi came back to look for Chase when he disappeared and Caleb was her only lead. She found out through Caleb about magic and the monster in that house who burned him so badly.

Caleb survived Anti’s attack and is rebuilding the sunbird order in Singapore. I like to think Xin Yi is helping him.]

Anonymous asked:

So what are you going to do with yourself now, Marv? Mostly magician stuff? I think it should be up to you what you become after all this! You're free and strong now. I hope you know now you were always beautiful, even with shaved hair and sick in your eyes. You've always been someone worth loving.

Marvin beams, sitting up in the grass and stretching luxuriously. “A lot of magician stuff, I expect,” he says, a little amused. “But then again, my friends tell me I did some translation work before all this. I went to school for linguistics, I guess, which is why I speak a few different languages. I can do… a lot of things, really.”

He grins at the blue sky. “I can do anything.”

And he is beautiful in the same way that that sick survivor in the hospital bed was beautiful, because he is still hoping for something.

“I feel beautiful,” he adds. “Thank you. For the days when I didn’t, and you told me I was worth having anyway.”

Anonymous asked:

What has Jackie been so busy with??

“Well,” says Chase. “He was working a lot at the theater. And then he got stabbed and was on bedrest. And then he met Max! So he’s been kind of distracted from therapy, in general.”

Anonymous asked:

Seems I missed a few days, but check in time! What's everyone's emotional status? All good in septiceye world? - 🎒

“Good,” say the twins together, rolling the ball between them.

“The kids are going to come stay with me for a whole weekend as soon as the magic mirror or whatever is cleared for travel,” says Chase proudly. “And I haven’t had anything to drink since that girl gave me wine. It wasn’t even good wine. And Schneep’s been looking at jobs.”

“Oh, only a little,” says Henrik. “Just discovering what my options might be if I want to try and work again. Maybe a little later. For now, I am content to rest, and we are not so short on funds that I must return to work.”

Marvin stands up, patting Noodle on the head. “And I think I’ve answered the question,” he says. He straightens up and his eyes find his youngest brother just within the forest, kneeling and working in the dirt. Marvin flashes him a thumbs up. Jameson blinks at him for a second, but eventually gives a thumbs up in return before going back to his task.

Marvin is distracted by the buzzing in his pocket. He pulls out the cell phone they share between them and accepts the call from an unknown number.

“Is it Jackie?” asks Chase.

Marvin shakes his head, listening for a minute. The twins exchange confused looks as he turns away from them and talks.

“Henrik,” he calls after a moment. “Come here.”

He holds the phone out to him.

unpredictably-ghostly asked:

Oh? Who's calling??

Henrik approaches his brother skeptically. “Don’t do this to me, Marvin,” he warns. “Don’t mess with me on this.”

Marvin just grins and passes the phone to him. Henrik bites his teeth together for a second before taking it and setting it to his ear.

“Hello?” he says.

A couple voices hush each other on the other side. “Henrik?” calls a voice.

Something catches in his chest. “Oh! My friends!”

He hears a wild shriek and then, an ocean away, the raucous, delighted laughter of a group of Peruvian magicians, who have been waiting to hear from him this whole time.

Henrik hears himself laughing too.

“He lives! Long live the doctor!”

“Henrik, you ass, we thought we might never hear from you again!”

“Are you well? Hey, let me talk! Henrik, are you well?”

“I hope you sent that monster back to hell where he belongs!”

“I’m well,” he laughs, clinging to the phone. “I’m - I’m well, yes. I’m very well now, oh.”

nikkilbook asked:

Whatcha working on, Jaimer?

Jameson glances back at you, eyebrows raised.

“Nothing,” he signs after a second, his body hiding his project. “Just… gardening.”

He hears the hollering from Henrik on the phone and looks back to see him smiling and talking to his friends. Jameson looks back to his task, a breath falling from his mouth, almost a sigh. In his hands, a rounded stone. He sets it on the ground with a grimace, wiping at the sweat on his forehead.

nikkilbook asked:

Gardening for y’all, or for the kitties?

Jameson shrugs. “For me, I guess.”

He sets another rock down on top of the other, running his fingers over it.

Anonymous asked:

Chase, JJ, do you hang out together now? Do you feel more like proper brothers, love each other, treat each other with respect? I feel like that'd be a mark of extreme healing for you two after Anti made you to hate each other so badly all that time ago.

Chase pulls his attention away from Henrik with a chuckle, knowing he’ll want to talk to his friends for a while. He lets the football come to a rest beneath his foot and spots Jamie working alone beneath the trees.

“Everything changed when I was given a taste of what it really must have been like to be him for so long,” he says, gazing out at him. “When I realized it wasn’t actually being spoiled or treated better than the rest of us. It was just another version of abuse.”

He treads out towards him, his cat running over to walk with him. “I think my hatred for him died that day Anti dragged us both up to his room in the California house and locked us in together for so long. My head was so scrambled. He was the only thing I was clinging to. And Anti treated me so warmly, but so terribly at the same time. What a form of torture: to be that confused and hated and loved at the same time. If I didn’t have Jameson there, I would have lost myself… permanently, I think. I could never have fought free without him helping me. He saved me. I think maybe we saved each other. Since then, I don’t have any anger for him, not anywhere inside me. He’s my brother. And I sure respect the fuck out of him for fucking surviving the treatment Anti put him through. For being able to fight at all after that - he’s one of the toughest sons of bitches I know.

"Now we’re working on being friends too. We went out for coffee the other day, to make up for the day I missed last week, and it was good between us. He does get so shy though. Not even of other people. Just of me. There’s a part of me that feels he’s still waiting to be rejected by the rest of us: for us to decide he’s not worth the trouble, or that he’s too much like Anti, or something like that. But it’s something we just have to affirm to him again and again - that he belongs with us, that we love him. I’d like to see him bold again. I will see him bold again. I’m tired of seeing him afraid.”

Noodle runs ahead of Chase with a meow to greet JJ, pulling his attention back to them. Chase smiles at him and JJ manages a twitch of a smile back at him before turning away again, kneeling over his project.

Chase kneels down beside him, touching his hand.

“Hey,” he says. “Hey, what’s wrong? Look at me.”

JJ looks back at him, a little red-eyed. Chase touches his shoulder, his thumb grazing his chin.

After a moment, JJ sinks into his side. Chase holds him against his chest.

“What’s the matter, love?”

“Love,” JJ signs back, pressing it against his brother’s heart, and then he just sighs and closes his eyes.

nikkilbook asked:

Is it a cairn for the twin you could have had?

Chase touches the smooth surface of the little set of stones JJ has set up in the woods. Jameson hides his face in one hand, refusing to look up at him.

“Jamie,” says Chase. “Hey, we’re okay.”

Jameson finally lets his hand fall from his eyes, shaking his head.

“I’m just sick of not being normal,” he says. “Everybody else gets to have their twin. Everybody else gets to be together. I’m just his fucked-up other half. And I hate that I miss him most of all.”

Jameson’s face contorts with fury and grief. He sinks back onto his heels, closing his eyes and hiding his face again.

“I’m always going to be set apart from the rest of you,” he says. “I wish I could have been enough to make him love me.”

“That’s not - ”

“I know it’s not,” Jameson interrupts. “I know I never could have. I know he chose to be the way he was. I always knew it. But it doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m sorry, Chase.”

Chase looks up at him, blinking. “For what?”

“For not getting everyone a better ending,” he says. “ For everything. For not having a happy ending for you sooner.”

“Why is that on you?” asks Chase, startled.

“I’m supposed to fix things,” says JJ helplessly. “That’s why - that’s why he made me, but I still can’t - ”

His words falter from his hands. Chase presses closer to him and hugs him tightly, pulling his head against his shoulder.

“C'mon, then,” murmurs Chase, pulling away from him after a second.

“What?” asks JJ.

Chase gets up on his feet and wanders in a circle for a moment, leaning down to pick up a medium-sized stone. He comes back to JJ’s side and kneels, placing the stone atop the ones JJ has already erected.

Jameson wipes at the tears on his face and gets back up, collecting stones of his own. They work in silence. Noodle purrs beside the little stack of rocks, his tail thumping against the dirt and leaves, until they have a little tower of stone in front of them.

Chase runs his fingers over the side of it.

“Don’t tell Marvin I made it for Anti,” asks JJ.

“Marvin can get over himself if he still has problems with you grieving him,” returns Chase, turning to tug a strand of JJ’s hair fondly. “JJ, I miss him too sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Of course. The way he could make you feel like you were special, like you were precious - and then of course, he’d tear you down again afterwards, but it only made it feel so much better when you could win his approval again. He was a horrible kind of addiction.”

Chase looks at his brother. “It’s okay if you’re sad instead of angry sometimes. If your feelings towards him are complicated, that’s okay. You were with him your whole life. But Jay, you gotta start letting go of the past.”

“I’ve been thinking about something, though,” says JJ, scooting towards him. “Look, I’m feeling better these days. My medication’s working, I’m not delusional, I’m stable, nobody’s hurting me. Chase, I think I could start time-traveling again.”

“What? Jamie, that’s not - ”

“I think I could make things better,” Jameson insists. “What if I could go back and relive some of it - ”

“Relive?”

“And fix some things because I know how to make it right now!”

“You want to go back to Anti, go through all that shit again, just so you could maybe get us here faster?”

“Chase, I could save Henrik from being tortured! I could stop Anti from ever taking Marvin’s body from him! I could give us a happy ending!”

Chase grabs his arm with a sudden vehemence, something hot rising in his face. He pulls Jameson out of the forest, back to the clearing, and points him towards their home.

Henrik and Marvin are clinging to each other’s hands, laughing as Henrik talks to his friends over the phone. There are flowers and butterflies in the lawn. The house is undisturbed, unbloodied, safe.

“What about this is not a happy ending to you?” asks Chase, pulling Jameson’s gaze to him. “Why do you have to blame yourself for things that Anti did?”

“Because maybe I could make them right,” stutter Jameson’s hands. “That’s my job.”

Chase shakes his head at him, gripping his hand for a moment.

“Your only job is to be our brother,” he says. “And there is nothing in the world that is worth you going back to Anti’s arms again, JJ.”

scunneredzombie asked:

JJ, just because you're a time traveler doesn't make it your job to fix everything. You spent most of your life so hypnotised you didn't even know the snake in your rabbit's den. How could you have known to fix it? Don't blame yourself for the suffering, it's no one's fault but Anti's. Trauma is trauma and you all are going to have it no matter the fixing you do. It is not your job to fix everything. You are not a tool for a means.

“Sometimes I knew he was a snake,” protests JJ weakly. “He was just… my snake.”

Chase snorts, stepping forward to brush tears from his face. “Sometimes you did, and sometimes you didn’t. But there was never all that much you could do about it until you had some help, JJ. And that’s okay.”

“I should have been the first to rebel,” says JJ. “I should have.”

“It’s the past, James.” He cups his brother’s face between his hands. “It’s done. And they’re right. You are not his tool, you don’t have to fix things, and you definitely aren’t here just to right Anti’s mistakes.”

JJ closes his eyes and leans into his hands, exhausted.

“I guess that while he’s dead completely to the rest of us… you’ve been sitting here in the knowledge that you could go back to him whenever you wanted. Huh?”

Jameson’s face contorts with pain. He doesn’t answer.

“Have you ever gone back to see him?”

Blue eyes flash open. JJ shakes his head no.

Chase purses his mouth. “I want to believe that, really, but I happen to know you are a pretty damn good actor when you need to be.”

Jameson lets out a ragged breath. “Just a few times. It was before… before I started getting better. I haven’t in at least a month.”

“What are you trying to get by doing that?” asks Chase, bewildered. “I can’t even imagine wanting to go back to those times.”

JJ wipes at his face. “I just want you all to stop being in pain.”

Chase sighs out, long and slow. He reaches for JJ’s hand and pulls him back into the trees, towards the cairn. They stop together and Chase rotates their hands. In the light, the smooth, puckered skin of the burn on his hand gleams.

“Look at this,” says Chase. “Anti did this to me. I lit a fire to keep us warm and he threw me into it. It hurt really badly. It traumatized me. The scar will never go away.”

He meets JJ’s gaze. “And if you told me you could go back in time and make that moment never happen, I would tell you not to.”

Noodle is purring against their legs, twining between their ankles. He runs forward into the trees, free as can be, golden-hot in the sun.

“JJ, sometimes pain makes you realize things you couldn’t see before, and sometimes pain is just pain, and it sucks, and it hurts you for a long time. But it’s still a part of who I am. It still reminds me that I was strong enough to escape, that I never have to let anyone put me back in that place, that I got out with my life and I should treasure every moment of freedom I have. Sure, there are a couple times where it would have just been better even in the long-run for us not to have been hurt, or chained up, or tortured… but if you start trying to fix all of them, you will tear yourself apart in the process. And I would much rather have you than one less scar on my hand.

"Bad things don’t always happen for a reason, but we find the meaning in them anyway. The past is gone, Jameson. You and me and our family - we are what remains.”

“I love you,” mouths Jameson, not pulling his hand away.

Chase pulls them to their knees and sets their shared hands on top of the smooth surface of that little cairn in the woods.

“Bury Anti here,” says Chase softly. “Leave him in the past with the rest of the pain, little brother. Let Anti rest right here, and let him go.”

Anonymous asked:

The past is the past, and Anti can never hurt you again. Jameson, you are more than half of a whole. You have always been whole all on your own. Anti will always be part of you, but let that part come to rest. Let that part fall off like a skin tag, useless and only there to hurt.

Jameson runs his fingers over the stones, sighing. It takes up so much of his waking hours: the regret over the things he could have done better, or sooner, or differently. It seems like every time his brothers are in pain, it’s his fault.

But that was what Anti wanted him to think. It was just another cage he kept him in.

He’s his own person, and he belongs with his real brothers, not the broken reflection of someone who should have loved him but never did. He knows better. Chase is right - he has to let go of the past.

Besides, why should this not be the right ending? Why should this not be called happiness? Every ending has some pain in it. Some imperfections. There will be hard days, going forward. Painful days and difficult days and days where he is full of regret and has to see the others in pain. But they will come back from each of those days and keep going anyway. They will have coffee and blankets and fresh snow in the winter. Chocolate and church services. Dates with new people, birthday parties, and long walks in the forest whenever they feel like it. A home, and a family, and a hug when your heart hurts.

Is that not a happy ending?

“Noodle, Noodle,” calls Chase, pulling Jameson from his reflection as the bushes rustle. “Come here, baby!”

Noodle darts out of the bushes and comes warmly to Chase’s side, his chest rumbling. Chase laughs and brushes at his back, but then the bushes give another rustle, and there is a soft noise that makes both him and Jameson look up.

Noodle mewls and jumps back towards the bushes, purring. Chase and Jameson exchange glances and get to their feet.

“A squirrel?” asks Jameson.

“He wouldn’t be purring at a squirrel, he’d have tried to bring it back to me in his mouth. Noodle?”

A languid meow from the bushes, and then a second one, and two pairs of eyes peek out at Jameson and Chase from the bushes.

Anonymous asked:

Cats?? Maybe kittens??

“Marvin! Marvin, come here, come now!”

The shouting of his name makes Marvin whip around in alarm, but it only takes him a second to realize it’s accompanied by loud laughter and a couple of the shrieking noises Chase makes whenever Noodle does something really cute. Marvin snorts and looks at Henrik, who rolls his eyes back at him, and they both head towards the trees to see what Noodle’s done now.

Chase and Jameson are on their knees in the dirt, laughing. “What is it now, you dorks?” asks Marvin, moving over to stand above them.

His heart leaps to his throat.

“Holy shit,” he breathes.

Chase looks up at him, beaming and red in the face with excitement. Jameson is smoothing his hands lovingly over the back of a huge white cat with thick, matted fur, no older than six months by his guess. She rests on her back, purring, apparently unalarmed by all the loud humans around her. Noodle beats his tail against her, humming.

“How is this possible?” asks Marvin. “We saw their bodies. The cats - they’re dead.”

“This is a different cat,” Jameson tells him. “I would know if it were the same ones.”

“But it looks like the other cat!”

Jameson smiles up at him. “You had a boy and a girl cat. They wandered a lot. Did as they pleased. It’s not impossible that they might have had a little nest of kittens we hadn’t found out about yet.”

Marvin reaches out, breathless. The cat looks up at him with these clear blue eyes, like a fancy little show cat might have. He touches her tenderly and she lets him. When he wraps his arms around her, she allows him to pull her to his chest.

“Oh, there’s another one!” cries Henrik, and at once Marvin’s brothers are leaping up to look at to try and cajole over the second cat, just as pretty and white as its sibling. But Marvin can’t get over the one in his arms.

She purrs at him, warm against his chest. By all accounts she should be feral, but she isn’t. Maybe he did know these kittens, once. Maybe he just forgot.

“My little girl,” he breathes, stroking her head. “My little friend. You come back to me.”

He looks up at the feeling of eyes set upon him and sees Jameson smiling at him. His eyes are slightly red. Marvin reaches out his free hand to touch his face, concerned.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yes,” signs Jameson. “Yes, I think so.”

Anonymous asked:

Ohh Marvin! Marvin you have kittens! What do you think you'll name them? Oh, what about some of the names we suggested for you back when you were struggling a bit with self image, like Maeve and Ciara and Uathach?

Marvin laughs, rocking the cat in his arms.

“Okay, guys,” he says, squishing the cat to his chest. “There is a girl cat here and - did you catch the other one?”

“She’s friendly too!” shouts Chase.

“And also a white cat?”

“She has grey booties!”

“Holy shit.”

“I know!”

Marvin turns his attention back to you, laughing. “In celebration of us finding at least two cats in the woods… please feel free to submit your name suggestions. Haha. Shit, do you remember when we first got Noodle? And now this? This is the best day of my life.”

If you’d like, we can name them the same way we named Noodle: send in name suggestions and we can count notes to vote for which you like. I will put these three names as the first suggestions.

Okay I was going to leave a good deal of time but I got so many right away we might have to just go with those lol! Sorry if someone did not get to send suggestions I did not realize they would come so fast ahhh!! but thank you hahah <3

The boys are all crowded around the camera, laughing and holding the cats. Noodle curls around their legs, wondering why he is suddenly not getting everyone’s attention, until JJ takes pity on him and scoops him up too.

Both girls are remarkably calm. The one with the grey stockings has a little grey on her face as well.

“Okay, okay, lemme see,” says Chase. “I’m hearing Roisin and Caragh - ”

“Roisin is sooo cute,” says Marvin.

“Amber and Amethyst - ”

“I think that’s Steven Universe,” says Henrik.

“Or just cute names!” protests JJ.

“Brigid and Cailleach - ”

“Not Call-each, Chaser, it’s pronounced like Callie-ah.”

“Heaven and Angel, and then… these are some separate ones. Should we name them both separately or in a pair?”

“Let’s pick two of these duo names we like,” says Marvin. “So I like Peanut and Jam, that’s funny.”

“And I like Turkey Leg and Chicken Leg,” laughs JJ.

“And then… we’ll say Stockings and something elegant, which we can pick if we need to. And Boots and Dove. And then if you do like one of the names but don’t like the other one, you can say that and we’ll see what we can do.”

I’ll post them in pairs and we can workshop from there if needed :) like if things get close we can narrow it down starting with these pairs. leave a like, comment, reblog, or send an ask to vote for the one you like. thanks guys

I feel bad leaving people out so if you want to send some last minute ones in GO GO GO

Option 1: Roisin and Caragh (pronounced Cara I believe) 

Option 2: Amber and Amethyst

Option 3: Brighid and Cailleach

Option 4: Heaven and Angel

Option 5: Chicken Leg and Turkey Leg

Option 6: Peanut and Jam

Option 7: Stockings and something to be determined, maybe Adoline

Option 8: Boots and another silly name or color-based name, maybe Boots and Dove

Option 9: Stockings and Roisin

Option 10: Maeve and Ciara and Uathach (pronounced oo-a-hah) (we will pick 2/3 if needed) or other names from Irish mythology like Siobhra (pronounced sheefra)

We are down to three choices: Stockings and Roisin, Turkey Leg and Chicken Leg, or Peanuts and Jam. For those of you who voted for different options or anyone else who wants to cast a vote, feel free to choose between those three now!

Anonymous asked:

Good duo names: Lemon/Lime, Chicken Leg/Turkey Leg, Pumpkin Pie/Apple Pie, Juice/Soda, Peanut/Jam

“Peanut and Jam,” laughs Marvin, and it’s enough to send a fit of laughter through all four of them, huddled around their cats in the woods. “That’s very good.”

“Peanut should be the white one,” says JJ. “And Jam the grey and white one. They’re so cute.”

Chase gives a sudden gasp, drawing everyone’s attention to him in a flash. His hand rises to cover his mouth.

“Chase?” asks Henrik. “What is it?”

Chase’s alarm crinkles into mirth at the sides of his eyes. His chest starts to shake in a giggle.

“I’ve just realized something,” he says.

“What?” asks Marvin.

“Well.” He clears his throat. “Noodle has been running around unchecked out here for a couple weeks now…”

“And?”

“And he’s not neutered.”

Everyone looks at Noodle. He rumbles innocently back at them.

“Kittens!” cries Marvin.

“No,” laughs Henrik. “We need to get him neutered right away, why did we never - ?”

“Well, he’s an indoor cat, he never - ”

“No, I want kittens, I want kittens so bad!”

They’re all just laughing like wild, like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever heard. Kittens and new cats and Marvin so lit up in delight - they’re laughing like everything is good in the world.

“Hey! Anybody home?”

“Jackie!” cries Marvin. “You’re back! Look at this!”

He’s racing back towards the house with a cat in his arms, and Jackie is there in the doorway, flushed with color, in a clean red hoodie, beaming at them in the sunlight. Noodle reaches out to lick Jam’s face and Henrik snatches her away, scolding him, while his brothers are already looking back through the names you sent them to pick what they might, one day, name kittens.

nikkilbook asked:

Hey Jackie—if you haven’t quite finished riding off into the sunset with your Prince Charming, one last suggestion. You said you wanted to watch more movies. When you have a second, I want you to sit down with your man and a bunch of gigantic peanut butter cookies or some shiz and watch every episode of LOKI, just back to back. Heck, you’ve probably got more than one season by now, so watch those too. Then go out and buy all the Loki-centric comics starting from the aftermath of SEIGE in what, 2010? and going until at least the end of AGENT OF ASGARD in 2015. Feel free to get others, too. Most importantly, read the author’s note in the back of the first issue of AOA, and remember, from me to you: everything you have done, everything you have survived, has been for yourself. Because yourself, Jackie, the self you were before and the self that you became in the fires and the self that you built from ashes and love, is a self absolutely worth fighting for.

Oh, and Max? We haven’t had the chance to talk up til this point, but I wanted to tell you this: you have my blessing to marry my son. ;) I wish both of you unending peace.

“Loki, huh?” asks Jackie, grinning at you from the doorway of his home, the wind playing with his hair. “Yeah, I think we’ll have time for that. We have time for everything now, don’t we? Loki, sure - anything for you.”

He looks back at Max inside the house. Their eyes meet and a whole world of something passes between them. Max retreats to the kitchen with a box of presents in his arms, giving Jackie some time to say hello.

He’s right, after all. They have all the time in the world.

Jackie stands in the doorway alone, watching his brothers come towards him.

“It was well worth the fight,” he says. “I was well worth the fight.”

badlypostedeverything asked:

Its been a while since i checked in with you all. We're all proud of you.

“Oh, so this is what happens when I leave for a few days?” asks Jackie, shaking his head as Marvin rushes towards him. “You get cats to fill the absence.”

Marvin throws his free arm around Jackie’s neck, setting his head down on his brother’s shoulder for a long moment. Peanut sniffs curiously at him, looking up at him with those ridiculous blue eyes.

“I missed you,” says Marvin. “Was it a good time?”

Jackie squeezes him in return, breathing in the familiar smell of him. The flower and flame smell never left him, not even when Anti stripped the magic from him. They used to lie close together and try to survive together on nothing more but the warmth the other gave off. He’s still warm to the touch now.

“Yeah,” he says. “Very good.”

Their younger brothers are approaching from the trees. Jackie fills his eyes with the sight of them. Days he’s been away, but here they are, playing in the sun and walking close to each other, like nothing ever separated the three of them.

The camera draws his fond gaze and he straightens up, smiling.

“Thank you,” he says. “I’m proud of us too.”

“Jackie!” Chase runs forward to hug him too, and of course Henrik comes right with him, holding the second cat up to Jackie’s face. Jackie knocks their heads together and scratches under the cat’s chin.

“What have you been talking about for the cameras to be proud of us?” Jackie asks Marvin, touching his hand as Chase and Henrik continue to chatter about the cats.

“Nothing,” replies Marvin. “Just… being happy. And saying goodbye.”

Jackie hums and hugs him again, pressing their heads together. Peanut squirms free of their arms and Jam follows suit, and the girls weave towards each other, knocking their heads and purring like mad, their white tails curling around each other, and close their eyes.

scunneredzombie asked:

Taking care of you guys has been my main goal for a long, long time now. It fills me with so much joy to see you free enough that you don't need our watching eye anymore. Thank you for letting us free you, but most of all thank you for freeing yourselves. I'll miss you all, but I know you have so much happiness ahead! Jackieboyman, Marvin the Magnificent, Chase Brody, Henrik von Schneeplestein, Jameson Jackson... Your lives will be beautiful!

“Oh,” says Chase, peeking over at the camera. “That’s a lot of taking care of us. Now you just have to make sure your main goal is taking care of yourself.”

He smiles at you, tugging at the brim of his hat, flipped around backwards.

“If we see you guys less going forward, we still won’t forget. You did a lot for us. I’m glad I’ve had a friend on the days where I felt like I was all alone.”

One of his brothers calls for him and he turns to look back, to look at his family gathered around him. Marvin and Jackie and JJ and Henrik.

“Yeah,” he says contentedly. “I think you’re right. I think everything is going to be just beautiful.”

Anonymous asked:

Healing will come for each one of you ❣️ Safety is imminent

“Safety is a cat in your arms,” says Marvin, kissing Jam’s head and squeezing her to his chest.

“Marvin,” scolds Henrik. “She’s filthy!”

Marvin laughs, just because it’s good to hear Henrik reprimand him.

“Who cares?” he says. “She’s mine.”

Healing feels very close indeed when your brothers are around you and there are cats to cuddle with. He knows, by now, that even on his own he is whole and complete, but we discover ourselves in the way we love others, and he is finding himself again these days. In his brothers, in his friends…

“In a little white cat,” he whispers. “I can see the self that Anti tried to take from me. He really thought he could kill me on that beach. He really thought he could string my cats up and wipe all of me out of existence forever.”

He kisses Jam again.

“What a fool.”

Here in his home, in his forest, with his family, he is very much alive.

Anonymous asked:

Dapper, Trickshot, Doctor, Red, and Blue. Names you never have to be addressed by again, identities you should never have had to take on in the first place. I'm glad you all were able to rediscover yourselves as Jameson, Chase, Schneep, Jackie, and Marvin. A little worse for wear maybe, but still you all the same.

Henrik chuckles to himself, running his gaze over the heavy scarring down his arms and hands. “A little worse for wear, huh?”

He bows his head for a moment, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He was lost for a long time. It seemed to him that he would never escape the cage Anti trapped him in, even after he was gone.

“I am a little worse for wear,” he says. “Some days my body hurts, and some days I get stuck in this head of mine again. But I would not take it back. This was the price of the fight I fought for myself. My reward…”

Jameson, Chase, Jackie, Marvin. In bloom. Henrik smiles. His teeth are crooked. His eyes are very blue.

“My reward has been most worthwhile. And I expect it shall continue to be, for as long as I continue to breathe.”

nikkilbook asked:

Jackie, Jackie, Jackie Jackie Jackie—you did it. You found yourself, you found the boy in the red hood again. You’re not wearing a mask anymore, you’re you. Everyone knows I’m horribly biased—it’s no secret who my favorite is. I couldn’t always be here, but do you know why I kept coming back, even when I didn’t know exactly what was happening? You were hurting, and you were trying, and you were breaking, and then trying again. It echoed something in me, and watching you work toward your happy ending, watching you GET your happy ending and knowing there would be more happy beginnings, middles, and endings for the rest of your lives even if I’m not there to see it, and most of all getting to help you, message by message, however much it was worth to you—it put another brick in the little house I’m building inside me, the one that reminds me that I’m going to get a happy ending to. Every moment of sunshine I got to help make or watch was a reassurance that I’m going to be okay too.

Here’s to another happy beginning, my Jackieboy. Good luck, and thank you. From your friend.

—

[to bee:] (And thank YOU most of all, my dearest friend. May all your stories have happy endings, too)

“Hey, come on now,” chuckles Jackie, wrapping an arm around Max’s waist as he returns to him. “That’s too sweet, haha.”

“It’s true, though,” says Max, reaching up to wipe a fallen eyelash from Jackie’s cheek, his fingers brushing through his beard. “Getting to help you is a privilege.”

Jackie’s expression softens and reddens. “Max.”

“You are a very strong person,” says Max.

“I wouldn’t have gotten here alone.”

“That doesn’t make you weak.”

Jackie’s eyes crinkle. He looks at Max, and then at you, and in the light through the windows of the home, he is lit up in gold and red, and his future stretches before him like a road already glowing at his feet.

“You are going to get a happy ending,” Jackie tells you, shy and earnest. “Because it turns out, even someone like me deserves one. And even when things are so bad you can’t for the life of you see the way out - well, the future comes anyway, and the past always becomes the past, and you feel yourself breathe again. Without even meaning to, sometimes. A breath in - a breath out. Still alive. Still moving forward. It never becomes perfect. But peace is… attainable. What a revolutionary concept to that person chained to Anti’s side, hungry and hurting. He never would have believed it. It is my deep privilege to know that that person is a part of me - that he survived, and kept breathing… and now he gets to be happy.

"Thank you for keeping him company. For giving him hope. He would not have made it without you.”

Anonymous asked:

I can't express just how much strength and resilience you've all shown getting through all of this. And just how much trust you managed to put in us as well, just strangers who were supposed to observe. There were times when your obstacles seemed impossible to deal with and yet you all made it through to today, happy and together. You've all been through hell and back so I hope you know you all deserve the little piece of heaven you're building with each other here

“Please, strangers?” laughs Henrik. “You are not strangers. You were there with us for… for all year, maybe! You think I do not remember each one of you? Think I cannot tell your styles apart, the kind of questions you ask, think I do not know you all by wording and punctuation and interests? I am a genius, right? You are not strangers. You are company when I would otherwise have been all alone in the world.”

“Honestly,” says Chase, flopping onto the couch beside his twin. “I hope that that’s the fucking lesson, if there is one. You can go through the worst shit and still come out of it not just alive, but… happy.”

He and Henrik exchange looks, their hands brushing on the couch. Whole books in the way they look at each other. Whole stories they will never forget.

“I tried killing myself more than once,” says Chase softly. “Because at the time, it was a certainty to me - an absolute certainty - that things would never get better. There was nothing you could have said to convince me that they would. It wasn’t about hope at that point. Just survival. And I survived until you helped me hope again… and then live again.”

Henrik squeezes his fingers.

Yes, novels and books between their gazes, and you, my friends, are the ones who have born witness to it.

“I’m glad I’m alive,” whispers Chase. “I’m glad I didn’t die.”

“My brother,” says Henrik. “Me too.”

crystalninjaphoenix asked:

I hope you guys enjoy yourselves ^-^

“Yes,” calls Marvin, clapping his hands together. “That’s what we should do, enjoy ourselves. The fridge is full! Let’s have food, all we can eat. And we’ll play games or play football in the yard or watch a show or something. We have found our lost cats, and Jackie is here with our brother-in-law, and everything is good in the world: let’s have a party.”

Anonymous asked:

It's funny, Jameson, you used to refer to your brothers as ghosts. Do the ghosts of Dapper, Red, Blue, Trick, & Dok haunt you now? I hope for your sake that you only see the living now, after all this time.

Jameson breathes out a slow breath.

Warm air through his hair, across his skin. His clothes are clean, just a little grass-stained at the knees. Clear blue eyes, soft hair, long eyelashes.

Do you remember the boy hidden in the basement? Drawing charcoal pictures into the walls, tied by his throat?

Jameson looks down at his hands.

He pulls the silver clock from his pocket, gripping in his hand this present from Jack, this deep power always thrumming through him.

His brothers are talking and laughing in the kitchen. Jackie and Max wrap together like two sides of the sea, all lovey-dovey eyes and lingering glances, while Henrik and Chase and Marvin all work in tandem, joking and cooking and playing with the cats.

Jameson closes his eyes.

Just for a moment, you see:

Red reappears in the hallway, his eyes dark. He steps slowly towards Blue. His twin, realizing his mistake, falls deathly silent, sinking back against the counter, until Red is standing nearly chest-to-chest with him, staring down.

Blue swallows, looking anywhere but at Red.

“Don’t,” whispers Red. “Bother your master.”

Blue chews on his lip, his eyes flashing.

“Am I understood?”

“Yes, Red.”

Red pauses just a second longer before turning to limp back towards his room, that chain heavy around his ankle. Blue swallows again and again, blinking rapidly.

And Jameson is watching all this. In his mind, he can see it whenever he wants. Blue turns away from Red. Red slinks back to his room. He curls in on himself like a dog broken into submission, silent and miserable, and Blue bites back on tears in the kitchen.

Jameson slides towards that past version of his brothers, still so present to him despite everything. He places a hand on Blue’s shoulder.

His brother turns to him quickly, startled.

“Darling,” he gasps, touching JJ’s face. “You better get back to Anti before you get in trouble.”

Jameson pauses, staring at him.

He wraps his arms around Blue’s neck.

After a second, Blue’s arms return to circle around him.

It’s going to be okay, Jameson tries to tell him with his hands at his back. I know it doesn’t feel that way now, but it will.

And for a moment, you see:

Dok stares down at the hand wrapped around his bruised wrist, his heart thudding hard in his chest. Slowly, he turns to his twin. Trick’s eyes are blue flames.

“My love,” says Henrik. “It is time you start making choices about the man you are becoming.”

“Don’t go,” says Trick. “This isn’t about morality. This isn’t about me. He will hurt you again.”

Something inside Henrik’s chest breaks clean open.

“Again?”

Trick turns his eyes away.

“You knew. Or guessed, anyway. You suspected.”

Trick cannot look him in the eyes. Something in Henrik’s chest is oozing hurt. Crimson as the sun when the trees are burning.

“There’s a future where you don’t have to hurt each other anymore,” JJ tries to tell them, looking at that canyon between them. “You can still save each other. Don’t give up.”

They whisper words between each other and pull apart. Misery in Dok’s face. Fatal resignation in Trick’s.

Just ghosts, struggling across the earth.

And for a moment, you see:

He sits back against the headboard, chewing on the nail of his thumb, distressed.

“Then again, there are nice parts to resetting your head… to make the pain fade away into the background…”

He breathes out deep.

“To free the person you were from the sin of the man you’ve become… To be Carver, not… J… to forget what used to make you happy, so you can stop hoping for it, and live misery more peacefully…”

Dapper stares out the window. The northern lights are breathing through the sky, and he quiets, watching them, forgetting what he was talking about.

“And then Anti loves you better,” he adds softly, his hand on his brother’s head. “So… what else matters?”

Jameson stares at the old person of himself.

He stares at his own ghost.

Steps towards him in the silver river of his power.

Breathes.

Dapper looks up at him, blinking. The rope lies around him, binding him, chaining his throat. He shakes his head at Jameson, confused, in the basement of a house in Norway.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “You’re dead. We’re dead.”

“Do I look dead to you?” asks Jameson.

Dapper just stares at him. His eyes are hollow.

“There’s no life for us now. We are… a gravestone.”

Jameson kneels down in front of him. Reaches out to touch his chalk-stained cheek.

“One day,” he says. “You will breathe again. There are still things worth having. Still freedom. Still a world beyond Anti.”

Dapper’s eyes burn and water. He shakes his head at Jameson.

“No. No… it’s not true.”

“It is,” Jameson insists. “I am true. There is life still. No more isolation. No more despair.”

“No more despair,” Dapper signs back, a whisper of a movement, disbelieving as an unfamiliar prayer. “No more despair.”

“Dapper?”

Jameson turns.

In the doorway of the room, Anti looks back at him, surprised.

“What’s going on? You’re using your power. Stop that. Come here.”

And if JJ wanted to, he could.

He could fall into his arms one more time. He could kiss his face. He could let you speak to him. He could fall back to that boy with the rope around his neck in an instant.

But he doesn’t. He won’t.

“You’re dead,” he signs, and he lets his power go.

The sunlight burns lovingly down on him again. The roar of his brother’s voices and laughter returns in his ear. He is standing in the doorway, and no one seems to have noticed this short moment of recollection, this sudden return to things that are lost.

He looks around at his brothers.

His Chase. His Henrik. His Marvin. His Jackie.

It is time to leave the ghosts in the past.

“Jamie!” calls Jackie. “I missed you! Come here and give me a hug!”

“Jameson, hey, come taste this for me, see if you like it…”

“We need to pick out a movie! What should we watch, James?”

“Oh, look, haha, Peanuts wants some attention from you. Are you coming over here?”

Light and sound and warmth and brotherhood.

He looks back to the forest, just for a moment.

Anti is at rest beneath those stones in the woods. He will never haunt them again.

“Yes,” says Jameson, stepping towards his brothers, alive and aglow in the late summer sun. “Yes, I’m coming. I’m here.”

No more haunting. No more isolation. No more despair.

“I’m here.”

End Chapter Five: Resurrection

.

Dear Madeleine, Em, Ghost, Tristan, Noah, Crystal, Dino, Arthyr, Cookie, Jamie, Ari, Luigi, Carpe, Mae, Tiri, Leo, Rose, Nikki, JJ, Pat, and all my silent, secret readers…

I hope you know that I have no irritation for anyone who only read part-way through this story. Not only is it wildly, ridiculously long, spanning years and hundreds of thousands of words, but I struggled through many parts of this last section, and I think there was more than one time where my mental health, my situation, and my fear of ending this story that I love so much all impacted the quality of the writing.

That being said, I can tell you now: you all hold a special place in my little writer heart for seeing this through to the end with me.

I could not have finished it without you. Your quiet support, your input, your passion, your encouragement, your art, your writing. You are my co-authors. Some of you have been here since the very fucking beginning, which blows me away. It’s unbelievable. I don’t know how to tell you how glad I am that we have shared this.

For anyone who has read this story at all over the years, even if you did not, for any reason, make it to the end, your help is no less appreciated and I still remember so many of you (Rei, Pixie, Cael, June, Catherine, Darki, Villains, Holly, BP, Amy, Autumn, and too many more for me to even start listing without being scared of leaving you out). You might be surprised how many of you I still associate with specific asks, comments, and art pieces. Thank you.

Our characters fought for themselves and for each other. For their kids and their loved ones. For freedom and joy and the hope that they had to hold on to with blood-stained and tired hands. But there were so many times when your words and your presence and your genuine care and belief in them was the only thing they were clinging to that I can very safely tell you, my friends: they were also fighting for you. To prove to someone who believed in them all along that yes, yes, YES - I will be happy and well again one day.

I am thinking in particular of Tristan’s art piece where Marvin cries “are you happy to see me like this?” as he begins to be forced into the character of Blue. It was the very first chapter, some 800,000 words and a couple of years ago. He was in a lot of pain then. He lost himself. And now, he has found him again.

I hope now, that as you look at our dear characters, you can safely say that yes, you are, in fact, happy to see them like this.

Perhaps this last little thank you note to you is too serious, as there were a lot of times we were just having fun and some of those times are still my very favorites. But I do hope that, going forward, there might be a couple lessons you can take from these characters we shared: to know that you are worthy of love, not abuse, no matter what you have done, to fight for your own happiness even when it feels impossible, and to recognize that there is always hope for a better future.

You are very deserving of that love, that happiness, and that future.

Thank you for everything - for every time you lifted me up, for every time you showed compassion and encouragement to the very idea of someone in need of your help, for every second that you spent speaking to, depicting, or just reading about our characters. Thank you for writing this story with me.

-

If you have enjoyed MBC at all now or in the past, please consider contributing back by donating to your local charities, particularly those that benefit people like our characters: survivors of domestic violence, those with mental illnesses and/or disabilities, those living in poverty, and more. I thought about compiling a small list, but I’m guessing that many of you have ideas for places that you trust or are familiar with, like local food pantries or homeless shelters, or maybe next time you see someone like Jack doing a fundraiser for a charity or even just someone on the internet trying to find some help while in a tough spot, you could consider donating with the story in mind. Just thought I’d take a minute to try to direct all the love that you have helped put into this story towards a real world goal <3

I hope that reading about the characters in such tough situations will remind us to be compassionate and aware towards those in difficult situations, even if it is just a stranger having a hard day.

[woolmasterleel]

okok I think it would be so funny for the ask game I’m asking these about Kisaki:

1, 8, 9, 43

And for you :)

A, B, C

Hope this isn’t too much but I love to see a queen go off about her silly characters ❤️

WAHHH THANK YOU KING I AM HONOURED

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Surprisingly a long time... But only because he is theorizing about whatever is in front of him. Or if he's resting with Tagashei, he'll stay put then (❁´◡`❁)

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

He was told to express himself more, he wasn't very expressive and was really shy, often keeping to himself and not really talking to anyone. When he was older, people told him to stop "being so sad all the time". Huge reason why Kisaki is so supportive now, he didn't really have that as a child.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

Oh all the time, absolutely. If you stand outside his lab he says all sorts of things to failing reactions... Kisaki suppressed a lot of his memories from his younger years, so he doesn't remember. His first was probably fuck, going bold right off the bat.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

He'd take out a picture of Tagashei and just tell people to use their brains, if it's post Mirror. If it's before he's gone, then he probably won't answer at all... he doesn't like talking about himself like. At all. If it's his work though? Sit down you'll be there forever (✿◕‿◕✿)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

I LOVE HIM I LOVE SOCKEE SO MUCH, he is honestly everything I aspire to be.. I don't know what it is about him, he is just so much fun, he's always so energetic and I guess it rubs off!

B) What inspired you to create them?

OH sit down this is a lot.

It was years ago, I was in ninth grade, a few months after I made Tagashei.. I had an idea for a blue-haired scientist, so I drew them. If I had the guts I would show the very first Kisaki picture but it is so old and I hate it so. Anyway, they looked very docile, and initially, they were going to be a "good guy" (I mean Kisaki is but?????), Tagashei was actually a villain back then, but then I decided to make Kisaki a villain for Tagashei.. I could go off about their old story (which I think was kind of all over the place) but I won't unless someone wants to hear it.

Overtime, I began rewriting their story SO many times before finally Kisaki became what he is now! I was always so proud of him, but I am extremely happy with how he is now ╰(*°▽°*)╯

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

YES oh my god. I always knew Kisaki was the scientist, but I was never sure what side he was working for?? Initially his story was going to end with him creating a disease which infected him, Tagashei tries to see him out of desperation and becomes infected to. Then Alice gets it and. None of them make it. But I hated that, not because it was sad, but because the way I wrote it was just not it. When I say making Galvarium fixed everything, I mean it. Now Kisaki had a reason to shut himself away, a reason to be so emotionally distant, to be laughing all the time, to be immune to the Rapid Corpus disease. When all the pieces fell into place I was so happy!

[whatevertheweather]

Thank you @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @aristocratic-otter for the tags!

Not to say this every time I do a tag game, but I’m super late to this party. In fact so late that I wasn’t going to do it, but then I kept thinking about it, so hi everyone, here’s a throwback to when all of you did this a million years ago.

Rules: list your top 10 most kudos’d fics on AO3, followed by your own personal top 10.

AO3 Top 10:

1. Bite Me (M; 27.6k)

2. A Restless Mind (T; 21k)

3. Keep It Down (E; 5k; co-written with @fatalfangirl)

4. The Space In Between (M; 101k)

5. Caprine Attire (T; 18.4k)

6. For The Turtles (T; 17.9k)

7. Just A Prank (T; 5k)

8. The Definition of Platonic (T; 5.7k)

9. Archery 101 (M; 13k; co-written with @you-remind-me-of-the-babe)

10. Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats) - (T; 4.9k)

My my. This is all going to get rather rearranged.

My Top 10:

1. The Space In Between: Surprising absolutely no one, TSIB is still my number one favorite thing I’ve written, and it will always be terribly dear to me. I cannot overstate the impact it had on my writing and my...overall joy. I’ve made an edited and formatted version to put on my Kindle and I reread it more than I should.

2. Bite Me: Okay we can all agree on this one apparently. There are several fics I’m struggling to pick between for spots 2 through 4, but this one earns this place for the amount of fun I had writing it. And posting it. The enthusiasm it received was wonderful and it made me feel wonderful.

3. Brazen (M; 10.9k): My least popular fic! I love it so. I also understand that it’s not for everyone, and that’s valid. I have in fact had a couple moments myself of, “Wow I. I really did write that huh.” But listen, over the past few months I have consumed no less than four separate pieces of (fairly popular) fiction that have all equally inspired me to say, “Yeah that’s fucked up. Brazen really ain’t shit huh.” So. Anyway, it’s so much fun to write them being feral, an excellent pastime, can’t recommend it enough. That’s why I’m writing more of it.

4. The Smokescreen (T; 18k): Surprising absolutely everyone, myself most of all, I’m actually putting my third least popular fic in fourth place! The surprise there is that not so long ago, this was number one for my least favorite of my fics. Now, to be fair to the fic (and Selkie, who did the wonderful art and gave the prompt for CORB), my problem with it was very much me and the state of my brain when I was working on it. Point being that by the time I posted, I was so sick of writing it that I never wanted to read it again. But many months passed, and I thought, “Fine, I’ll give it a try,” and I actually didn’t hate it. In fact I liked it. In fact I’m a little proud of it. In fact I think of it semi-regularly in a fond way. (It also gets bonus points for the tag “Antagonistic Flirting,” because that is Baz at his best.)

5. A Restless Mind: This one still makes me feel soft and warm because it’s soft and warm and also the first fic I ever wrote. I have a very vivid memory of pulling my laptop out one night, opening a blank document, typing “I,” and then saying “nope, nope, can’t do it” and closing everything. Several months after that, I was still thinking about it and decided I could do it if I went with third person. And I did. And now my Ao3 word count is 280,836. Whoops.

6. For The Turtles: This one makes me soft and fuzzy in a similar but slightly different way, because it’s silly and fun and it was the first fic I ever posted. Which also means it’s the first time I ever experienced the straight shot of endorphins that comes with reading a beta’s comments of laughter and positivity in a document I was super nervous about sharing. So thank you again, Jess.

7. Caprine Attire: Again with the nostalgic and happy elements of the two fics above this. This is a sequel to For The Turtles that was never meant to exist, but it insisted on existing before I even decided to post FTF. I had a lot of fun with it, it still makes me laugh, and I remember very clearly the moment I wrote “Simon (1:12 pm): is it tyrannus basilton grimm pitch the fifth? or tyrannus the fifth basilton grimm pitch?? tyrannus five: the empire strikes backilton grimm pitch???”, cackling, and then saying, “Oh fuck, I have to post the first one now.”

8: Just A Prank: Another I had good fun with. I wrote it in a night, so it’s bite-sized and full of pranks and uni boys being stupid and also kissing. Just a good time.

9. The Definition of Platonic: Sweet, fluff, domesticity, friends-to-lovers, it’s cozy and feel-good. I depleted my stores of cutesy romantic feelings for this, but they’re refilled now, so all is well and I can reread it without huffing.

10. Raining Cats and Dogs (Without the Cats): Again, I just had a lot of fun writing this, and it’s nice and sweet and carries a lot of fond memories for me of my dog and rain and all that good stuff. Also I will always stan liar!Simon.

Please note that the exclusion of co-written fics is not a reflection of my affection for them, but is rather, of course, for the fact that I didn’t write them alone <3

I’m pretty sure literally everyone has done this by now, but I don’t know who for sure so I’m tossing out some tags for @artsyunderstudy @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @urban-sith anyway and seeing what bites.

[asexualzoro]

it’s my 22nd birthday today, and you know what that means... 

Lew Writes Wrapped 2022!

its virtually all third life this time, most of which have not been posted on main before. woe, the full weight of my third life obsession be upon ye

blood god, mortal red

(Jan, 1.2k, DSMP, oneshot) (link)

one of the Many minecraft execution fics i have written in my life, technoblade anvil edition

not to start this post off with making myself sad, but man, i miss him. 

i remember writing this one all in one sitting at work in january. i think i did a pretty good job with it from an artistic standpoint, and as an analytical piece, i think i hit the mark perfectly. that said, i don’t think i could reread it now. i do think it was fun as a writing exercise to force like, 5 seconds irl to stretch out into a thousand words

yes, the only way out is down

(April, 1.2k, 3L, oneshot) (link)

another minecraft execution fic, third life rendog edition! 

IM SO PROUD OF THIS ONE. im so fond of it it’s probably my favorite third life oneshot. ren’s execution makes me fucking rabid and this is just the most direct expression of that.

what’s funny is i actually remember being pretty dissatisfied with this fic when i finished it--there was a lot of stuff i wanted to hit on that i just couldnt swing around to--but when i stepped away from what i wanted it to be and looked at what it was, i realized i liked it a lot

the rhythm of cold fists

(May, 2.6k, 3L, onehsot) (link)

sometimes you get so worked up about the idea scar threw the finale of third life that you have to write a bunch of frenzied words on it

this one is funny bc i think its got the second most hits of any of my third life fic, but the comment number is really low comparatively. i mostly just had fun making the transcript of this scene and then fleshing that out into a full ‘novelization,’ it was a neat writing exercise! i don’t think anything in particular stands out about this one, but i’m happy with it overall

Wooden Mausoleum

(May, 3.8k, 3L, oneshot) (link)

Sometimes you get so worked up about the idea of the unactualized betrayal plotline of the most loyal man in the series that you have to write a bunch of frenzied words about it

okay this is going to sound bad but i keep forgetting i wrote this. i dont know why. i like this fic! one of my favorite paragraphs i wrote all year is in it! and yet??? i dunno.

id love to write a different martyn wins au where the betrayal isnt the sort of ‘mercy kill’ suggested in this fic, bc i still have not recovered from the unrealized betrayal plot. someday i’ll write a martyn wins au where he Means to win

i... still feel something is sort of off with the way this fic ends, but i think ive felt that about a lot of the fic/scene endings ive written of late. i think that ending scenes/fics is just ill have to work on this upcoming year! 

might be best to not look back

(Oct, 2.7k, 3L, oneshot) (link)

i’m starting to think all my oneshots are just me getting possessed by different parts of the third life. anyway i had a point to prove about scar throwing, and what might happen were he not being wildly unsubtle about throwing

i can write essays on this fic it makes me feel insane. i HAVE written an essay on it already just recently. tbh, this fic itself IS an essay written for the purpose of analyzing the penultimate third life scene. i have and could and will write more essays on the penultimate third life. this is all i have to say to avoid making this a 1k word post

i think i did what i wanted to pretty well? it was sort of confusing, by virtue of trying to talk about a point your viewpoint character won’t acknowledge, but it was a fun piece over all

missing or obstructed

(Oct-present, 6.3k, 3L, ongoing) (link) 

post third life fic but only grian and ren remember, featuring so many sleep/dreaming metaphors, because i lucid dream and have insomnia and it does a lot to me as a person

missing or obstructed has 14.7k words written but i havent fuckin posted most of it bc i got derailed by lamplight. missing i am so sorry i miss you so much but youve been obstructed. i am really excited for how the rest of this goes but i think i have to finish and completely exorcize lamplight from my head before i can go back to it in earnest. i DID post another chapter at 10pm yesterday so i had more of it to include in this wordcount tho,

missing or obstructed has been a lot of fun to write bc i lvoe stupid metaphors. it has sucked to write because it’s forced me to come up with worldbuilding shit for the watchers which has been so much more difficult than i thought. it’s been fun again cuz i love worldbuilding. it’ll be super fun when i finish the current scene i’m sitting and get to introduce martyn pov. i lvoe writing Martyn pov

Lamplight AU

(Nov-present, 20k, 3L/LL, series) (link)

renchanting dnd au. i put ren in a lantern. what else do you need

wadda hell. 

i cannot even begin to like--lamplight was literally supposed to be just 20 Questions and thats it, i wasn’t going to write more, but people liked it so much that i was like “sure, i’ll write a bit more” and you guys have been??? so kind. the amount of enthusiasm this fic has received thru kind tags/comments, asks and interest, and even art??? is equal parts deeply humbling and also incredibly likely to give me a god complex. this fic has been so much fun to write and my readers are the whole reason, i cant wait to show you what i have in store for the rest of it

six sentence sunday challenge

i also started a challenge back at the end of march of this year over on @driflew called Six Sentence Sunday. the rules are simple: every sunday, post six sentences you wrote that week.

i didn’t make it every week, but i made it a great deal of them. on occasion, i even posted 12 sentences the week after missing my six, meaning some weeks counted for two.

my six sentence sunday tag on that blog has 28 posts from the year! considering there’s only 52 weeks in a year, i started three months late, and a few of those weeks are actually two, i feel pretty good about the amount of weeks i made. not every week, but basically any week i didn’t have a good excuse not to complete my six sentences. it kept me writing all year, if only a little bit at a time, and i’ll be keeping up with it for sure!

to finish out,

i passed my writing amount from last year (25k) by over 10k words! my total number for this year doesnt even count the 7k or so from missing or obstructed i havent posted, plus an uncounted few hundred words of unposted snippets for lamplight. i’m really happy with everything i’ve done this year! 

which… this year i wrote and posted 37,800+ words! 

thank you to everyone who has supported my writing all year, as always, it means the world to me. happy birthday to me, and thank you to you for reading! 

(birthday wishes and/or reblogs appreciated!)