#but i'm moving across the country and it's wild

[chthonicrose]

hot friendship tips: randomly meet someone who has the same reference pool of internet culture and media as you on tumblr and then live together for ten years so you've inflicted everything you care about on each other so they always know exactly what you're talking about even when you're completely incoherently trying to describe something you only half remember and sound insane

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

*NSFW* How to train your pet Human pt. 3 (Yandere!Alien x GN!Reader)

CW: Dub-con, mild psychological distress, mind break, dead dove fic

Part 1, part 2

Kirtch slumped over his friend's standing chair, miserable and mopey.

A tall creature, taller than even Kirtch, sighed dramatically, sauntering around their depressed friend with a smaller horned being crawling behind them.

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong." Kirtch whined pathetically in Jaudna's native tongue. Jaudna made a gurgling sound with the soft spot on their head, the closest human equivalent being someone rolling their eyes. They sprawled across their lounging seat, motioning for their pet to stay on his knees.

"I'll tell you exactly what you've done wrong. You pampered them too much."

"I punish them!"

"You punished them for their escape attempt. That was it. You've allowed your pet to test your authority in plenty of ways after that."

The man on his knees pleaded with his eyes to be let up, but stayed perfectly still, like he wasn't alive. Kirtch noted Jaudna's pet's demeanor with discomfort. That discomfort only lasted until he imagined (Reader) in that same position, looking up at him with their large dewy eyes, waiting so patiently to be held by him... his discomfort was replaced by jealousy.

"You don't understand, (Reader's) such a sweet little pet, and whenever they struggle they're so cute about it. I just can't understand why they aren't happy."

"Humans' minds are incredibly flawed. According to the few psychological texts I have gotten my claws on over the years, their memory is not set in stone like ours, it is fickle and easily manipulated. One of my books referenced a case in the nation called 'The United States of America' where nearly the entire country fell into panic over an imaginary evil, because a few doctors used a phoney science called 'hypnotism', a practice they believed could help recover forgotten memories, on a bunch of children, but accidentally implanted false memories of abuse, leaving the children traumatized, believing that they had been victims of a horrific occult."

Kirtch looked to his good friend nervously. "Are you implying I do something nefarious to my pet's mind?"

"No, I'm showcasing an example of how stupidly easy it should be to train your pet to love you." They tossed a book into Kirtch's hands, the cover printed with a photograph of a wild looking man, with fluffy hair and dark, hateful eyes. "Hypnotism isn't the only creative way humans have learned to reprogram each other."

Kirtch almost threw the book back, but saw Jaudna's unnamed pet still sitting so patiently for his master, and the pain in his body where his heart may have been throbbed again. "Thank you.. Jaudna."

(Reader) had waited for what they assumed to be well over an Earth day, alone in Kirtch's quarters, waiting for his return. The only company they received were the employees who brought their meals, speaking down at them in a language they didn't know, but could understand the disgust. It had been over a month since their fight with Kirtch. Every day since had been nothing but hell, feeling like their heart had been ripped out, they laid in their bed cage, only moving when necessary, allowing themselves to hide away inside their own mind.

The main door opened again, and (Reader) could hear Kirtch's long, graceful steps as he passed through the study and into the bedroom. "(Reader)? Are you still in bed?"

In an act of defiance, (Reader) kept their mouth shut, pulling the blanket tighter around their shoulders. But it was of little use, as Kirtch easily lifted their purposefully dead weighted body out of the bed.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long, pet, but I had to see an old friend for advice." He carried (Reader) back to his desk, sitting them in his lap, fighting to hold them upright as they flopped about limply. "(Reader), please sit up so I can take off your shirt."

He began working on the wrists, the intricate metal cuffs with multiple buttons that almost acted like locks, and (Reader) subtly straightened their back to give him better access to the neck corset thing, thankful to finally have it off for a couple hours at least. (Reader) had grown to find it somewhat elegant the past few months, but it still was an incredible pain in the ass.

Feeling the air on their neck was bliss, and (Reader) immediately ran their fingers over their skin. (Reader) breathed a deep sigh, relaxing their body unintentionally. But almost as soon as their hands left their throat, a new collar was latched into place, a loud mechanism clicking as it tightened, stabbing the back of their neck with what felt like a fixed needle.

(Reader) cried out in pain, sprawling out their limbs on reflex, pushing themselves out of Kirtch's embrace and onto the floor, lying naked on their knees as they clawed at the collar, desperate to relieve the pain.

"What?? Why?" Their voice was barely audible through their sobs.

"I'm so sorry my pet, the pain will end soon, wait-" Kirtch pushed a button on what looked like a remote, and (Reader) could physically feel the rush of liquid enter their body, then the pain lightened, leaving (Reader) almost euphoric in it's absence.

"What is this? Why did you do this?" Betrayal laced their tone, and Kirtch looked almost on the verge of tears, but he stood still, refusing his urge to scoop up his little pet and beg for forgiveness.

"I know now that I didn't train you correctly, and for that I am sorry. I've given you too much leeway, and that is why you've been so unhappy." He took a ragged breath, thumbing the controller as he thought out his words. "I didn't want to do this, but I care about your happiness. This is for the best."

"So you put a shock collar on me?" (Reader) asked incredulously, spitting venom.

"No, nothing barbaric like that!" Kirtch looked hurt, flinching as he almost dropped onto his knees to comfort (Reader). "I just need to convince you that you're happy here with me, just as I did the first night you were here, to help you release your stress."

(Reader) remembered the shot he gave them, that first night when Kirtch used a toy to get them off, the hormones he artificially added to their body to make them feel pleasure, and then thought about the pain in the back of their neck. The color drained from their face. There were only two options; plead or double down.

"You can manipulate me all you like, I'll never be happy here." A tear escaped as (Reader) transformed their hurt into anger. "I deserve someone who will love me, not as a pet, but as an equal. Because I am a human fucking being. And we have partnerships. We don't jack off our pets, we do not love our pets like we love the people we have sex with, because that- that is not okay! Why did you.." (Reader) couldn't stop themselves from crying, looking up to try to at least slow the waterworks.

The silence between them was loud. (Reader) turned away, wiping away their snot with their bare arms.

"Pet, noun; a domestic or tamed animal kept for companionship or pleasure. Adjective; denoting a thing that one devotes special attention to or feels particularly strongly about." (Reader) looked up, horrified. "Your's may not be my first language, but I feel I had a pretty decent grasp on my understanding of what a pet is."

Kirtch placed a hand over his face to hide his expression.

"You'll be happier once this is all over. I promise."

"You son of a-!" (Reader) couldn't finish their sentence, more fluid passed into their spine, followed by an immediate sense of emptiness. Extreme anxiety flooded their body, causing severe stomach pain almost instantly. They collapsed, holding onto their midsection, their bare skin clammy. "What? Why?"

"No more talking back to me, pet." Kirtch kept his voice steady.

(Reader) cried out, rapidly becoming exhausted from heavy nothingness filling their body. "Please.. stop.."

Kirtch nodded, appearing relieved. He pushed another button, and the emptiness ebbed away, leaving (Reader) numb.

"I don't understand why you're doing this." (Reader) weakly grumbled, too tired to pick themselves up.

"Because I want you to be happy."

"I'll never be happy with you."

"Why?"

"Because! I deserve to be loved!"

"I love you-"

"Fucking liar." (Reader) snarled, knowing that this would cause them to be punished again, but needing to get in the last word. Kirtch looked so miserable, so crushed by (Reader's) words, but they felt vindicated by his pain. They needed to twist the knife deeper.

He smiled, so sadly, and grabbed a blanket, bending onto one knee as he covered his pet. "I love you, (Reader)."

Their heart clenched, and their face flushed. Immediately they searched his hands for the remote. "S-stop that."

"I love you."

Chemicals pumped into their neck, making (Reader) feverish and causing their thighs to ache. Their breath hitched, and tears of betrayal escaped. "I hate you."

"I know."

More pain gripped their throat, regret causing physical discomfort. "Why are you doing this?"

His smooth shelled fingers caressed their jaw, tenderly cradling (Reader's) face as though he needed them. Kirtch's touch sent shivers across (Reader's) skin, and they couldn't tell if it was because of the collar or their loneliness, but they wanted to pull him closer, make him touch them more.

"I will live for much longer than you. I will watch you grown old, and die. Even then, I will still love you. You are the most incredible creature I've ever met. I don't mind if you push me away, and slap at me. I just want you to be happy, at least most of the time." His head grew closer, his hardened face almost brushing (Reader's). "Let me make you happy."

'I need to fight back. Make him pay! I'm practically a slave! He bought me! I'll never see my family again because of him!'

(Reader) leaned forward, mind melting through their ears from the intense heat, and smashed their lips onto where his should have been.

All rational thoughts were drowned out by the intense need. They needed him, his love. (Reader) was aware of the sound of buttons clicking, but they couldn't stop, crawling onto Kirtch's body, feeling the edges of his joints scraping their back as his hands hungrily roamed their body, wanting to touch everything.

They would have felt ashamed, knowing how aroused they were, their exposed body touching Kirtch's stomach. Sweat was clinging to (Reader's) skin, and their eyes drooped stupidly. The only thing they could think of was relieving themselves, and wanting to see Kirtch relieved as well.

"Are you going to fuck me?" (Reader) whined between wet kisses, drunk on his touches.

"I will, if you want me to."

Their mood shifted, frustration beginning to surface again. "No. If you love me, wouldn't you want me?"

Kirtch sighed, fiddling with the remote behind (Reader's) back. "I do not have the same nervous system as humans do. We only engage in sexual acts for the purpose of procreation."

Shame shocked (Reader), sobering them up instantly. "Oh. I- I am so sorry." (Reader) moved to get off of Kirtch, but was held in place by the much stronger being.

"I will, to make you happy."

"No, I'm sorry! It won't make me happy knowing you aren't feeling good. I'm-I'm sorry, please let me go."

Kirtch pressed the button again, watching his pet's face darken and their mouth go from frightened to slack jawed. "Knowing you are feeling pleasure, from me, and only me, will bring me more joy than I can express." His cloak was ripped away, revealing his gorgeously colored exoskeleton. Kirtch gripped (Reader's) face tighter, forcing his blue tongue deep into their mouth, bursting with pride at the sounds (Reader) was making.

"What do you want me to do?" Kirtch asked, not intending on sounding like he was teasing them, but Kirtch craved the sound of their voice begging him.

"Please.." (Reader) swallowed their drool, feeling the hormones pumping into their brain, but too horny to care. "Please fuck me."

The spot on his pelvis where a human's genitals would be split open and a long, slimy cock revealed itself, growing behind (Reader's) back to a horrifying size. (Reader) only became aware of his erection when it fell forward, slapping against (Reader's) ass and lower back. In their intoxicated state, they turned back to look at what had suddenly touched them, and their eyes grew large in surprise. "Is that..? That's too big..."

Off balance and tipsy, (Reader) turned around, still sitting on Kirtch's abdomen, so that they were facing his exposed dick, and touched it experimentally. It was ridiculously huge, but because of the hormones being injected into (Reader's) neck, they were ravenous, using both hands to pump up and down on the shaft as they stuck the thin tipped head into their mouth, tasting Kirtch passionately. Kirtch was beyond elated, watching his precious pet so needy for him.

Kirtch picked (Reader) up, moaning at the popping sound as he pulled their mouth away from his body, seeing nothing but love in (Reader's) eyes as he spun them back to face him, and slowly began lowering (Reader) onto his naturally lubricated member. "Keep looking at me."

(Reader's) mind was hazy, and it felt like they were about to die, saliva and alien fluids leaking out their mouth and down their chin. Their internal voice had gone silent, the amount of tampering that had been done to their brain left (Reader) devoid of rational thought and intellect. "Yes sir." They barely got the words out as Kirtch entered their body, sliding into their needy little hole easily and without resistance, ramming himself in so their pelvis smacked into his shell with a wet plop, bringing (Reader) to a climax just from entering.

"Smile for me, pet." Kirtch cooed joyfully, loving how (Reader's) body spasmed, before slowly lifting them up, revealing the trail of their combined wetness stretching between their reproductive organs.

(Reader) smiled, reacting on autopilot as they rode out their orgasm, practically biting off their tongue when their sensitive body connected with Kirtch's again. "Ahhh, I already came! Stop!!" Their words cried for relief, however their voice and smile demanded more. It was too much, and (Reader) did want a break, but it also felt amazing, and that dirty little part of themselves that was desperate for love needed their body to be abused.

Kirtch bounced (Reader) on his cock, fucking them like a toy, regretting that he didn't have a camera rolling to capture just how adorable his pet was in his hands. "Look at how happy you are, pet! Don't you want to be this happy all the time? Don't you always want to be happy, with me?"

Kirtch greedily pushed the button again, peppering (Reader) with kisses as they came again, their sticky juices splattering on his stomach. The squelching sound of (Reader's) bruising body getting fucked by the hard as steel monster beneath them was music to Kirtch's ears. He had, embarrassingly, read the book his friend had lent him, and knew now how humans used pleasure to keep brainwashed people by their side. But it wasn't just pleasure, it was that feeling of connection. He had thought about what (Reader) had said, that humans don't jack off their pets, and that made sense, for animals that did not share the same level of intelligence as an adult human. What (Reader) needed, was to feel equal, to feel like they weren't just a pet, but a partner. So how would they feel, if Kirtch ejaculated so deep into their body they were still excreting his cum weeks later?

"I'm going to mark you as mine, (Reader)." It was a lie, his species did no such thing, but the look of unbridled joy on (Reader's) cross eyed face, the loopy smile that twitched as tears poured down to their chest, was a sight that made it worth lying.

"Are you cumming? Are you cumming in me?" (Reader) slurred, barely holding themselves upright in Kirtch's grasp.

"If you promise to be a good little pet." Kirtch could hold out for as long as needed. His species did not have sex for pleasure, so there was no sense of urgency when they needed to release. He could have continued going for hours, if he hadn't overdone it with the collar. (Reader) was on the verge of passing out.

"I promise! I promise to be a good pet! I promise!" (Reader) exclaimed, colliding their lips back onto Kirtch's as a string of hot sperm shot up into (Reader's) body, a fluid so thick it was practically glue, leaving (Reader) feeling physically full. Kirtch couldn't help but push the button again, seeing his pet overflow with adoration for him.

"I love you, (Reader), I really really do."

Kirtch whispered sweet nothing's into his pet's ear as they passed out, then carried them to his bed, tucking in their swollen body, not minding the mess. (Reader) really was the most beautiful and adorable little pet in the entire universe. He doubt that he would ever get another pet after (Reader) was gone. He sat on the floor, rubbing circles into their tear stained cheeks, smiling contently.

Of course, the next day Kirtch would have to use the collar, showing (Reader) how bad they truly felt inside when they refused to get out of bed, and while it was awful making them cry when they tried to refuse to eat, it was for the best. Kirtch knew it wouldn't take long for (Reader) to graduate from needing their collar, and that soon they would always be by his side, begging him to pick them up and play with them. It didn't matter whether (Reader) needed cuddles or needed to be filled with his seed, Kirtch would overuse that remote until they desired his touch all the time.

He didn't mind the glassy, doll like glaze to their eyes, the change in their speech, the way they began crying whenever it looked like Kirtch was unhappy, or how they stopped pushing him away. After months of flushing their system with artificial love, Kirtch knew that his pet was happy with him. And that was all that mattered.

[wellfedfemme]

the fact that I've gone up almost 50 pounds since November is so wild to me like..... I wasn't even trying that hard?? and this has all been while I'm still living at home and money's been tight, but I'll be moving across the country soon and I'll have a pretty solid job soooo,,

i can't even begin to imagine what that's gonna do to my waistline

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

here's a wild one for y'all. cw for parental death. names have been changed, it is a kinda specific situation but I think only 1 of my family members is on Tumblr so whatever. sorry it got so long, it's a complicated situation and still VERY fresh so my brain is kinda fried lol.

tldr my dad passed away without a will and we want to give his long-distance "side" gf the house he helped her buy. I'm worried she won't be able to afford the mortgage, but don't really want to give her any of the monetary payouts. WIBTA if my brothers and I kept all of the cash?

so late last week (it's Dec 19 as of submitting) my father (60s M) passed away in a sudden car accident on his way to work. I'm (late 20s ftM) his oldest child, I also have a younger brother (mid 20s M) who we'll call Phineas and an even younger half-brother (almost tween, M) who we'll call Aaron.

so I'd describe my dad as a kind and loving but stubborn and stupid man. I would also guess, based on what I know of his love life, that he was polyamorous but didn't realize it due to his conservative Christian upbringing and didn't know it was an option so instead ended up being...well, kinda an adulterer tbh. this isn't to excuse his actual actions bc they were obviously wrong, but is the way the situation reads to me, a polyamorous person.

Dad had a long distance girlfriend (50s??? maybe??? F) on the West Coast (we live near the East Coast), we'll call her Melody. I met her a few years back when he flew Phineas and I with him to visit her. she's a sweet woman from what I know of her. when I got the news of his passing, I was the one who called her to let her know what happened. (which sucked.)

well, what I Didn't know until I was trying to scrape together travel arrangements (I live 5 hours away from Phineas and my dad) was that he also had a Wife (60sF), who we'll call Patricia. (it wasn't a legal marriage, it was "in the eyes of the Lord" as they said, due to legal complications to do with her social security benefits or something. which is why the arrangements for his death fell onto Phineas and I as his adult children. but if he called her his wife then as far as I'm concerned that's what she is.) he didn't really tell me or Phineas about the full nature of their relationship. Phineas found out bc our dad was spending so much time with her that he'd practically moved in w her, put two and two together and asked her to confirm. I never even knew she existed till all this happened. he had told his parents and siblings about her, and they approved of her. we can only speculate why he kept it so quiet to us, she thinks bc of his history with Real Duds that we'd be upset somehow. idk.

so anyway Patricia knew about Melody. my dad was already seeing Melody when he started seeing Patricia. I don't know what he was thinking when he got with Patricia tbh, can't ask him now anyway, but she knew about Melody the whole time. wasn't thrilled about it, constantly told him he needed to tell her the truth and end things, but doesn't truly hold that against Melody herself bc she didn't know.

Melody, however, did not know about Patricia. he was planning to tell her at some point. kept meaning to. still loved her, didn't wanna hurt her, but was also trying to be monogamously committed to Patricia too. he never got around to actually ending things with Melody before he passed, and as far as she knew he was still planning to move out there and get married to her. he even took out a loan to help her pay for her late mother's house, both their names are on the mortgage and deed.

which brings me to my question. my dad didn't seem to have a will (not that we can find anyway), so Phineas and I are the ones in charge of distributing his various belongings and payouts and such. we both agree that we don't have any use for some house across the country, and Melody is already living in it anyway. imo she should just Have It. however, she is also Pretty Poor. I don't know the specifics of her situation (or, really, much about the complications of home ownership?) but I do worry about her ability to continue to pay the mortgage, assuming that's a thing. we're still waiting to hear about all the details and numbers and have somebody who actually knows about that stuff translate it into layman's terms for us non-homeowners (or in Phineas's case, Brand New Homeowner) so we can get a full picture of how all that is going to work legally speaking.

Dad also had life insurance thru his employer. we are still working thru the red tape at his company to figure out who the beneficiary is, the most likely candidate being me as the eldest child. Phineas and I are agreed that we'll at least be splitting most, if not all, the money evenly between us and Aaron. Patricia is INSISTENT that she doesn't want any of it, she wants us kids to keep it bc unlike some of his exes she never cared about his money (he made GOOD money, but still ended up kinda poor due to both being generous to, and having been taken advantage of by, multiple women since my bio mom died. including having to shell out an insane amount of child support for Aaron despite already having a very active role in his life. like he paid more child support than either I or my fiancee even make at our jobs, while also frequently just straight up directly providing for him where he could). because of his income it's looking like a pretty hefty payout.

however, my brother and I are both pretty poor as well. while we don't know the exact amount we're getting, some are speculating a number that, even split 3 ways, would be Life-Changing for us. we're talking 5 figure amounts, more than I or my fiancee make in a year. like we'll still need to work for a living but, for example, it could be a down-payment on a house or a massive safety net for when I'm out of work (I have a steady job but with seasonal unpaid breaks). it could help Phineas afford expensive repairs for the trailer he now owns, which my dad was supposed to help pay for. in the right account with a decent interest rate, it could be tuition for when Aaron goes to college.

I feel like I Should probably toss some of that money Melody's way, esp since I feel so bad that she's getting the one-two punch of finding out her bf died AND also he had a wife she wasn't aware of. but my brothers and I could really use that money as well. I don't know that Phineas wants to send her any, we're saving that conversation for when we know more of the exact numbers. I don't even know how much Dad was paying towards it, or if he even was anymore. plus--and this is kinda a minor detail--but there's kind of a general vibe I'm getting from the Family (ALL 4 of my dad's siblings AND both his parents are somehow still alive) that Melody is kinda...unliked. they love Patricia and were CONSTANTLY frustrated that he was still visiting Melody and frequently sending her money; I get the feeling they viewed her the same as some of his other gold-digging exes so i think maybe sending her Even More Money would look a little weird? like she's already getting full ownership of a house out of the deal. most of them are in agreement that Phineas and I are the ones who get the final say on the bulk of these decisions but they're...a little pushy anyway.

like I said, we don't know what any of the actual numbers look like AT ALL yet, so it might actually be fine. but WIBTA if we just left her the sole homeowner when she couldn't really afford it, and not send her any money? the consensus will probably show up too late to affect our decision but hey, figured the situation would make for a wild ride anyway (or maybe I just feel like that bc it has been for me LOL).

What are these acronyms?

[brummiereader]

PREVIOUS PART

Killing Me Softly (PART SEVEN/ DARK!TOMMY)

Summary: Tommy's anger rains down on Y/N as her punishment for leaving him takes his brutality to a new level.

Warnings: Language, mentions of blood, murder, violence, psychological mind games, toxic marriage, psychological abuse, adult themes, controlling behaviour, Dark!Tommy (this is a dark fic, please read the warnings before continuing)

Face to face with your husband, his gun pointing straight at you, you stood there along the deserted country lane as you watched his face contour with anger, the veins in his neck protruding as the blood in his body tried to keep up with his escalating fury. All the eerie calmness had left him, he was seething with anger, his teeth gritted as he stared you down, the hunt was over, his prey at his mercy. Closing your eyes you steadied your breathing as you took in the faint sounds of the surrounding countryside. The smell of wild flowers filled your senses, the sound of birds chirping over head muffled the noise of your husbands heavy breathing, a light summer breeze sent goosebumps through your body as a calmness swept over you, you was ready.

" LOOK AT ME!" Tommy shouted as your eyes stayed shut. "FUCKING LOOK AT ME Y/N!" he said again, his voice trembling as he tried to control his mounting anger.

"Just do it Tommy! " You cried as you opened your eyes, the calmness of a peaceful death slowly disappearing from you.

" What...you think I'm gonna kill you, you're my wife!" Tommy shouted as his hand gripped the gun tighter, sweat coating his fingers as his knuckles turned an opaque white. "I love you and you left me, you fucking LEFT ME!" Tommy yelled as he lowered his gun, striking you across the face with his other hand, the force of it sending you to the ground.

" FUCKKK!" Tommy shouted as he looked down at you, tears streaming down your cheeks as you held on to your reddened face. "Look what you made me do!" Tommy said pulling you up from the ground, his hands grabbing hold of your arms as he looked at the end result of his untameable anger.

" I..I can't do this anymore " you pleaded with him as you felt your body go limp, Tommy's unyielding grip the only thing holding you up. "Let me leave Tommy...please, let me leave or just end it for me"

" You're not going anywhere Y/N, do you understand? I will not let you leave neither freely nor by my hand. You're mine, and you'll stay with me"

" Y/N!" You heard Polly's voice say from behind you as she ran down to where you and Tommy were standing, Tommy's grip on your arms loosening as he slowly let go.

"Oh love, we've all been so worried about you, come here let me look at you" she said, her eyes widening as she pulled your hand from your swollen face." You fucking bastard!" Polly shouted, repeatedly hitting her nephew across his chest as Tommy tried to grab hold of her wrists.

" I fell Polly!...I fell" you said moving in between her and Tommy, shielding your husband from his Aunt's anger.

" That's what they all say" she replied, ready to lunge at him once again.

" It's true Polly, I swear it... I, I slipped running down the path" you said turning around to look at Tommy, his eyes bearing down at you whilst he placed his hand on your lower back, a shiver running through your body in response to his touch.

" Running? Running from him!" Polly said moving you out the way as she pointed at her nephew. "I know what you have been up to Thomas Michael Shelby. Your games end now. I will not let you torment this girl any longer. I warned you you'd push her away, and that's exactly what you did" Polly said as she grabbed your arm, walking you back up the hill with her.

" Polly stop, Its not like that, I love him" you said pulling away from her, your head turning around to see Tommy stood there staring at you, his hands in his pockets as a devilish look settled in his eyes. Your punishment would be far worse if you left your husband for a second time, even Polly wouldn't be a able to save you from that. You had to return to him. Turning around you began walking back down to your husband, placing your hands on his chest as you leaned in to press your lips to his in a show of loyalty, one you hoped Tommy would remember when he would unleash his retribution on you.

" Nice try darling, that was quite the show" he whispered to you as he placed his hand on the back of your neck, pulling you to his face as he crashed his lips back on to yours in an embrace fueled by anger and control.

" See Polly, everything is how it should be. Things just got a little overwhelming for you, didn't they sweetheart?" Tommy said letting go of you, a smirk forming on his lips as he took your hand into his, walking you back to the school playing the game you had now started.

" Y/N...Y/N!" Robert shouted as he ran over to you. "Get off her!" he yelled pushing Tommy away from you. A small laugh left your husbands lips in amusement at Roberts bold show of fearlessness or as Tommy thought, foolishness. Did he not know who he was? Lighting a cigarette Tommy watched as Robert's eyes darted between yours and your bruised cheek.

" Tell my Y/N, did he do that to you?" he said squinting his eyes as he looked at your battered face.

" Robert stop, you need to stop" you said in a hushed voice your eyes darting between him and Tommy whose stare was now narrowing in on you both, his body tensing up as he watched on.

" I'll call the Police, we can get you away from him. God, look at your face..." he replied as his hand reached up to cradle your cheek in his palm, concern filling his eyes. A caring gesture to anyone else, but not to your husband. To Tommy, he had had just done the unthinkable, he had just signed his own death warrant. With your eyes widening you pulled Roberts hand away from your face as your stare fixed on your husband throwing his cigarette on the ground, storming over to you both.

" Tommy no!" Polly shouted as she watched the scene play out, unable to hold her nephew back.

" Did you fuck my wife!? Did you?!" Tommy shouted as he punched Robert in the face, repeatedly kicking him in his ribs as he lay down on the graveled car park. Snapping his head around, Tommy's anger now turned to you. Grabbing you by your arms he walked you backwards until you hit the door of his car, his body pressed firmly against yours as he breathed into your ear.

"Got a taste of dick and now you want more, like a common whore" he seethed through gritted teeth, his hands digging into your skin as you shook your head, wincing at the pain.

" Tommy he's just a friend, nothing happened, please..."

" You don't have friends Y/N, you have me, you only need me" he said as he turned his head to watch Polly helping Robert up from the ground. Clenching his jaw Tommy looked over your face as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, forcing a smile through the anger that coursed through his veins.

"You think he can make you feel the way I do" he said as he pressed his cheek to yours, his arm hooking around your back, bringing you closer to him.

"Do you remember how good it felt, hmm?" He said as his hand traveled down your body grabbing the inside of your upper thigh, a groan leaving his mouth. "The way I made you moan, how you begged for it" he whispered quietly in your ear, his hand squeezing your delicate flesh as a smirk grew on his lips. Turning your head to your husband, you was met with a darkness overtaking his eyes, a darkness you knew was seconds from making it's presence known, it's chosen victim, Robert. Darting your eyes to your friend, you watched as he stared back at you, tears running down your face as you silently begged him to flee from his fate. "You're mine Y/N, you belong to me" Tommy seethed as he grabbed your chin to face him. "What I'm about to do is your fault sweetheart, you remember that"

Letting go Tommy walked backwards as Polly came rushing to your side, pleading with you to look away. With no show of apprehension Tommy pulled out his gun from its holster as he turned to face Robert. With a smirk on his face Tommy pulled the trigger killing Robert instantly, execution style, point blank in the head. Jolting at the sound of the gun you blinked as tears fell down your eyes, your ears ringing from the sound of the gunshot as Polly's shouts muffled in your ears. You felt numb, motionless, unable to move or speak as Tommy continued to stare you down, waiting for your reaction. But he didn't get one, instead you looked down at your arm, as you stared at the drops of blood covering your skin staining you forever with the death of your friend, a death that was your fault.

" Y/N we need to go!" Polly said pulling at your arm, pulling you from whatever other-wordly state you had entered. "Tommy!" She shouted trying to get her nephews attention as he lit a cigarette, placing it between his lips as he inhaled a large drag of the sweet tobacco.

" Nobody touches my wife" he said throwing the half smoked cigarette beside Roberts lifeless body as he casually walked away.

Sitting in the back of the car on your way to Arrow House, you looked out the window in a daze, dried tears pulling at your skin as you stayed silent. The distant sound of Polly's panicked voice trying to come up with a plan muted in your ears as the ringing from the gunshot still rattled your brain. You dared not look away from the window, the crushing feeling of Tommy's eyes glaring at you through the rear view mirror burned through your skin, tempting you with curiosity to look his way. What did you think would happen when Tommy found out? Had you gotten so caught up in your new life that you had let your guard down enough to forget your husband's brutality? Roberts death was the result of your actions, an innocent life taken away unjustly, viciously, all at the hands of your husband, hands that were now gripping hold of the steering wheel in front of him, a grip you knew you would soon feel on your own skin, for Tommy had only just gotten started.

Pulling into Arrow house your husband ordered Polly to call his men to dispose of Roberts body as he dragged you out the car walking you into the house you never thought you would step back in, his hold on your arm painfully tight.

Marching you up the stairs Tommy threw open your bedroom door, your eyes widening at the almost empty room, the only thing occupying it was the bed you had shared, your satin night gown neatly folded on top of it. Everything else had been removed, the curtains drawn, the bathroom closed off, it was a prison cell, a cell where Tommy intended to keep you. Pushing you in, he slammed the door behind him as he marched forward grabbing you by your waist as he ripped the bloodied clothes from your body with his other hand.

" Your perfume still lingers on it" he said sarcastically, shoving your night gown into your hands as he looked up and down your body, his tongue pressing on the roof of his mouth as he watched you get changed.

" Tommy I'm sorry" you sobbed, as you reached your hand out to touch his cheek in a desperate attempt to avoid the punishment you had coming your way.

" You won't fool me with that shit a second time" Tommy said as he grabbed you by your wrist stopping you from touching him.

" Is this your big plan, keep me prisoner in this room!" you shouted as Tommy turned away from you, heading for the door. " Polly knows Tommy, she knows what you have been doing to me. The great Thomas Shelby's mask has finally slipped! You can't get away with it this time, you shot a man, everyone can now see you for the monster you are" Marching back to you, Tommy grabbed you by your chin as you held onto his arm for balance.

" You think that bastard is the first man I've killed, hm?" This is what we do love this is who we are, Polly will do nothing. And you, you will stay here in this fucking room, until I say otherwise!" he said letting go of you as he stormed out the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him as the sound of a key turning on the opposite side secured his sadistic plan. You was at his mercy, your fate now shackled to the four walls around you.

Later that night as you lay in bed you heard the door to the bedroom open, your husbands heavy footsteps approaching you as the sound of each item of clothing hitting the floor echoed through the empty room.

" Sit up Y/N. I know you're awake" he said as you turned around to face him, your eyes darting to the gun still in its holster carelessly sitting on top of the bed.

" Don't get any ideas. Now give me your hand" he said as he watched your eyes move from the gun to him. Taking your wrist Tommy pulled it closer to him as your eyes widened at the sight of your wedding ring in his other hand. As Tommy slipped the ring securely onto your finger, panic quickly rose within you, how did he find it?

" Tommy how did you..." You said as he interrupted you.

" How did I find it?" he replied, a smirk on his lips as he sat down next to you. " We found your little hideaway Y/N. The lovely Mr and Mrs Riley and their sweet baby boy welcomed us in" he added as you brought your hand to your mouth, tears welling in your eyes. Had he killed them like he had killed Robert?

"What, you think I'd kill an innocent baby and his parents, I'm not a monster Y/N" he said, a chuckle leaving his mouth as he got under the sheets. But he was a monster, committing the most monstrous act only a few hours ago, how could he not see it, did he really believe Robert deserved to die?

" Lay down" he said as he reached his hand out for you.

" And my mother, where's my mother Tommy, is she dead?" You asked, your voice croaking from the countless tears you had spent crying for your friend.

"I said lay down"

" Tommy..."

" No, now do as I say" he answered as he sat back up, irritated by your relentless questions.

" I need to use the bathroom" you announced, throwing the bed sheets of you as you stood up.

" Then go, right there" Tommy said pointing to a small ceramic pot in the corner of the room.

" Tommy no, I won't. Let me use the bathroom, please"

" You don't have a choice sweetheart, you can't be trusted, can you?" he replied a chuckle leaving his lips as you continued to stand there defiantly. Quickly growing inpatient, Tommy got up storming over to you, grabbing you by the arm as he led you to the corner of the room.

" Go" he said as he pushed you closer to the wall.

" I won't with you here" you replied standing your ground. With a smirk playing on his lips Tommy reached under your night gown tearing your underwear from your bare skin as he pushed you down onto the chamber pot. Shame covered your face as tears started to fall down your cheeks, his cruelness only embarrassing you more when he sat at the end of the bed watching you.

"Now come to bed" he said as you got up, pulling your dress back down over your body as you sheepishly walked back over to him.

With Tommy now laying behind you, his arm securely wrapped around your stomach, you looked down at the gun in his hand as it rested on your body. You were inches from death. At any given moment Tommy could decide to end your life, all with the pull of a trigger.

" Now go to sleep or else you won't get the surprise I have planned for you tomorrow" he said as you felt his lips smile against the flesh of your neck, his arm tightening around your body. Closing your eyes you listened to the constant drumming of your beating heart in your ears as fear overtook every emotion you possessed. There was no way out of this, no way to escape it, you would have to face the punishment you was due.

The next morning your woke up to the feeling of Tommy kissing your neck, his fingers roaming over the curves of your body as he dipped his hand under your night dress, grabbing at your soft skin.

" I need the bathroom" you said urgently as you stood up not wanting to be held in his arms any longer. Running his hands through his hair Tommy clenched his jaw in frustration as he grabbed his clothes, storming out the room. His desire for you had not faded, if anything he had become more persistent with his attempts. Having already had a taste of what he constantly longed for, his greed for you was consuming him. He wanted more, and after two months away from you he was close to breaking point.

The hours passed by as you laid in bed, looking up at the ceiling as you counted the cracks in the painted plaster. Your thoughts were the only thing keeping you company, setting you on edge as you played through the previous day's events over and over again in your head, unable to escape them.

The sound of a door slamming suddenly caught your attention as you instantly sat up, your nerves so heightened that the noise of a pin drop would have you jolting up. Walking over to the window you wrapped one of the bed sheets around your body as you gave the handle a tug in hopes it would magically open. Looking down you quickly noticed Tommy standing by a horse trailer a cigarette in his mouth as he looked up at the window like he had been waiting for you to appear. Your eyes darted to the left as you watched your beautiful white mare unexpectedly appear. Taking the rope from the stable boy, Tommy patted the horse down as he lifted her leg, inspecting her hoof. With your hands pressed firmly against the window you watched as the scene played out in silence unable to hear what Tommy was saying to the stable boy. Giving the lead back, Tommy looked up at you as you watched your horse walk into the box, your eyes widening as he pulled out his gun from its holster, pointing it into trailer.

" Tommy no no NO!!" You shouted as you slammed your hands against the window tears cascading down your cheeks. Mere seconds later the sound of one single gun shot resonated through the estate as you grabbed hold of the windowsill, cries leaving your throat as you listened to your horse dying. He had killed her.

" You bastard!" You screamed pounding your hands on the glass as Tommy just stood there looking up at you unbothered by reaction as the sound of a car making its way down the drive gained his attention more than your cries. With your eyes streaming with tears, you watched the truck pulling the trailer drive off as the other car pulled in front of the house.

It was like a movie playing out before your eyes, one scene following the other, his onslaught of torment never ending, and you was the sole spectator, this wall all for you. As Tommy opened the passenger door you watched as an elderly woman with a cane stepped out. She looked thin, struggling to keep her balance as Tommy held her up, helping her out the car. With his arm around her back Tommy looked up at you as you furrowed your brow in confusion. And suddenly it hit you, the frail woman standing below you was your mother, or at least what was left her.

" Mother, mother!" You shouted as you walked along the window following them both as they made their way to the front door. The sound of you banging on the window quickly caught Tommy's attention as he looked up to see your frantic state as you desperately tried to get your mother to notice you. With a smile on his face Tommy pointed ahead of him as your mother nodded her head in response.

" No! no..." you cried with a trembling bottom lip whilst your eyes watched them walk out your view, your body surging with adrenaline at the thought of what Tommy might do. Pacing back and forth in your room, you bit down on your nails, down to the flesh as panic overtook your body when you suddenly heard the door to your bedroom open.

" You fucking bastard!" you said running over to Tommy as you started hitting him repeatedly across his chest with as much force as you could summon.

" Hey stop, fucking stop. If you calm down I'll..." he tried to say as he held you tightly in his arms restricting you from landing anymore blows to his body. But you had no intention of stopping, pushing him off you ran past him and out the bedroom door that he had precariously left open.

"Y/N!" Tommy shouted as you ran down the stairs to the living room where you saw your mother sitting in one of the arm chairs, a cup of tea in her hand as she talked with Frances.

" Mother" you wept as you ran over to her wrapping her in your arms as you knelt down beside her.

" Darling, be careful dear I have a hot cup of tea in my hands" she chuckled as Tommy ran into the room swallowing harshly as he tried to catch his breath.

" Frances out" Tommy said breathless as his eyes darted to where you was.

" Are you ok? Are you hurt? You look..."

" I'm fine dear, calm down. Your husband has been taking good care of me, I've got the best doctors in town, isn't that right Tommy?" She said as your turned around to look at your husband staring down at you, a glint of anger in his eyes as he nodded his head. " I'm more worried about you, look at you dear" Closing your dressing gown tighter around your body, you looked down at yourself, you looked terrible if not worse than her.

" I'm fine, I.. I"

" Maybe you should go back to bed Y/N? You can see your mother another day" Tommy said approaching you, his heavy hand gripping your shoulder as you looked back at your mother, tears welling in your eyes. Not wanted to worsen her frail state anymore you simply nodded as you leaned forward to kiss her cheek. Before you could stand up she placed her hand to your face as she looked in your eyes, a small flicker of concern building within her stare.

" Why are you crying darling?" She said as you wiped away your tears. "Is it because of your horse? She was lame dear, she was suffering" your mother said as she cradled your cheek.

" Lame..." You repeated as Tommy's gripped tightened on your shoulder. Had your mother not been told you had ran away? Something wasn't right, she wasn't acting herself.

" It was a mercy Y/N" Tommy said as he pulled you up, bringing you into his side.

" Get some rest dear, we will see eachother soon" your mother said as you nodded, holding back the tears stinging your eyes. Would you see her again, was this the last time, another mercy? You thought to yourself as Tommy led you out the room his hand firmly placed on the small of your back.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again" Tommy seethed in your ear slamming you against the wall the moment the door closed. "If you do, it will be the last time you ever see daylight, understood?"

" Yes.. Tommy" you nodded as he dragged you back up to the bedroom, back to your prison cell.

Looking out the window into the dark night sky you waited for the inevitable moment your husband would walk back through the bedroom door. Fear and anxiety were consuming you, the past twenty four hours had been the worst of your life. Tommy's relentless campaign of punishment had no signs of ending. He was adamant on making you pay for what you did. Turning around you slammed your hands onto the bed screaming into your pillow as a small release of tension left your body. Wiping the tears away, you stood up walking back over to the window as you looked at your reflection in the glass. Pushing your hair back, you brushed the final tears from your cheeks as you pulled your silk dressing gown back over your shoulder. You watched yourself as you traced your fingers over your collarbone, skimming them down your cleavage as a small smile formed on the corners of your mouth. You may not be able to stop Tommy's continuous torment, but you could get back at him in the only way you knew how, it was time for him to suffer.

An hour later the door to your bedroom opened as your husband walked in. Standing on the opposite side of the bed you slowly approached him as you reached your hands out, brushing them along his chest. Looking down at you Tommy scoffed in response as he pushed past you.

" You don't want me anymore Tommy?" You questioned, a small laugh leaving his lips in response as he shook his head, unwilling to play along.

" Do you remember how it felt?" You mocked, whilst you watched his hands rest on his hips as he turned to face you, his jaw clenching in annoyance . "Isn't this what you want?" you said as you undid the front of your night gown your naked body now on display. Looking over your body, Tommy's lips parted as he slowly drank you in. You was getting to him, it was already working. With a primal urge already building within him, he walked forward to you, trapping you between his body and the wall as his hands came to sit on your waist.

" You want me to fuck you?" He said as he pressed his body firmly against yours, his hand moving up your flesh as he cupped your breast. Pushing his hand away, Tommy grinned playfully in response as he moved his fingers back up your body.

" My way or nothing" you replied pushing him off you for a second time. Grinding his teeth Tommy's hand reluctantly fell to his side without saying another word.

"Is this what you want from me?" you repeated once more as you pulled his shirt out his suit trousers, undoing the button fastening them together. Sliding your hand into his briefs you began stroking him up and down, a moan leaving his lips as he stumbled forward.

" Fuck" he said in response as he licked his bottom lip, looking down at your hand wrapped around his hard length.

" I want to be in you" he moaned pathetically as he placed his hand on the wall behind you to steady himself. Shaking your head you continued to move your hand over his length as Tommy's lips found your neck, kissing up and down your soft flesh as he groaned into your skin. " Fuck, don't stop I'm already close..." he said between moans as you picked up the pace, the increased throbbing in your palm only confirming his imminent release. With his high quickly approaching, you pumped your hand up and down at a speed he could no longer handle, his eyes scrunching shut in response as a groan built in his throat.

"Fuck baby, I'm gonna cum..." As soon as the words left his mouth you removed your hand robbing him of his desperate release, robbing him of the satisfaction he thought he deserved. With a smirk on your face you pushed past him closing your dressing gown around your body, leaving him there as he breathed heavily through his teeth, his hand on the wall forming a fist as frustration boiled under his skin. You had belittled him like he had done with you, played with him like he had with you and you took pleasure in your torment of him like he had done countless times with you. Walking over to the bed you laid down pulling the covers over your body as Tommy slammed his fist into the wall, he's head turning to face you as he clenched his jaw in anger, you had toyed with him and he was furious. Marching towards you, Tommy ripped the covers from your body as he loomed over you, his knees either side of your legs as his hands pinned yours down.

" You're playing a dangerous game Y/N"

" A game you've been playing from day one Tommy" you seethed back, confidence growing in you but not enough to hold back the tears forming in your eyes.

" If you think you can do something like that and get away with it, you haven't been paying attention sweetheart"

" And you think you can do everything you've done to me in the past three months without me ever reacting to it. You're so weak Tommy, look at you, you're desperate for it"

" What? You think I won't take it. I'll take what I want when I want Y/N, you're my wife, it's your duty" he said as he reached his hand down in between your legs. "Are you wet?" He smirked, a laugh leaving his lips as he tried to humiliate you once again. Through gritted teeth you tried to push him off, your efforts futile as the weight of his body continued to hold you down.

" But you won't Tommy, I know you won't" you said as your head hit the pillow breathless, a scoff leaving Tommy's lips in response as his fingers dug further into your wrists.

" Oh yeh, and why's that darling?" He replied grinding his hips on top of your clothed body as he kissed along your jaw.

" Because the Tommy I fell in love with all those years ago is still in there, I know he is" you sobbed, turning your head to face him as you tried to find any humanity left in him. " Where's the sweet boy from Watery Lane Tommy? He would never do something like that"

" Dead" Tommy said, his movements suddenly coming to a stop as he let go of you whilst an unfamiliar look spread across his face. Climbing off the bed Tommy buttoned his trousers back up, tucking his shirt back into the waistband as he walked to the door.

" You will learn to love me again Y/N" he said taking one last look at you as he left the room, locking the door behind him.

Laying back you pulled the covers up to your chin as you turned to the side brushing the tears from your face. Tommy would never let you leave, you were chained to him indefinitely, his parting words only emphasizing his hold on you. If you wanted to survive you would have to do as he said, you would have to learn to love him again.

It was the middle of the night when you awoke to the sudden noise of someone banging on your bedroom door.

" Why is this fucking thing locked, open it!" you heard Johns voice say to whoever was stood next to him as the sound of a key turned on the opposite side of the door.

"Y/N.." he said as he ran to you, his eyes quickly darting around the almost empty room in confusion as he rushed to your side.

" John...what's going on?" You said as you sat up half asleep, your brow scrunched in confusion at John's sudden appearance.

"It's Tommy, he's been shot"

NEXT PART

Tag list: @litteltourtius @aesthetic0cherryblossom @swordofawriter @casa-boiardi @muhahaha303 @fmo166 @call-sign-shark @priyajoyy @gypsy-girl-08 @missbeeentertainment @cryptidscool (unable to tag) @warrior-of-justice

[heauxvibez]

Good Girl..

Warning: A sprinkle of smut (18+)

Lying sprawled on the bed, her body draped over the soft cotton sheets, Yasmine nestled into the comfort of his oversized t-shirt. A subtle smile played on her lips as her iPhone buzzed in her hands, each vibration sending a ripple of excitement through her. It felt as if Joe's presence was right there with her, despite the miles that separated them.

Being on the road meant constant communication between them, whether through texts, Facetime, or phone calls. Though she missed him dearly, she appreciated the space that his road trips afforded them. She believes that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and every time they reunited, they cherished every moment together, knowing they'd soon have to part again.

Joe: So, what's on the agenda for tonight?

Yasmine: Hmm, not entirely sure yet. Probably just gonna whip up some popcorn, binge-watch a few episodes of Martin, and call it a night.

Joe: Sounds like a plan. Wish I could be there. As much as I appreciate the road, being home with you sounds way better. I miss you 😞

A blush crept across Yasmine's cheeks at Joe's heartfelt message. It never failed to amaze her how he could evoke such tender emotions with just a few words, even from a distance.

Rolling her eyes playfully, she typed out her response.

Yasmine: Pshh, quit playing Mr. Reigns. Traveling across the country sounds way more exciting than popcorn and tv 😒

Joe: Trust me, being at home with you, feeling your warmth, and hearing your laughter is all I crave right now.

Yasmine's heart fluttered at his words, her pulse quickening with every beat.

Joe: And if I were home, I'd have you in my arms..making you scream my name all night long...

Her breath hitched as she read Joe's message, her imagination running wild with the vivid imagery he painted.

Joe: I can't wait to have you all to myself again, baby girl. Just the thought of you drives me crazy.

Her face burned hotter. She swallowed hard, watching three dots appear on the screen, indicating he was typing again. The dots vanished, replaced by another message. She wasn't prepared for the words that lit up the screen.

God, you have no idea how badly I want you.

She shifted, rubbing her thighs together as she continued to read his message.

I swear, when I get home, I'm tying you to the bed, and you'll cum so many times you'll lose count, baby girl. I promise.

She immediately flipped her phone face down, locking it.

Believe it or not, she had never received such a text from Joe before, so she was taken aback when she read it. It certainly had her worked up, and those words were enough to have her swooning.

It had been ages since they'd been intimate. With his focus on work, there was little time for sex, and she found it cruel of him to send a text like that given their circumstances.

Thoughts of him being there with her, touching her, flooded her mind. It didn't take long before she found herself on her back. With just his t-shirt on, it was easy access for her to slip her hands into her panties. This was the only way she could find pleasure right now, so why not indulge?

Her phone vibrated not once, but twice, and she groaned in frustration as she read the texts.

Don't you dare touch yourself, baby girl. You better wait until I get home.

Buzz

I will tease you until you're in tears. I won't let you cum for hours.

Three more dots appeared as she whimpered at the text.

And don't forget, I still have those cameras installed, so don't test me.

Her hand moved away from where she desired to be touched the most. She needed release, desperately. She groaned, tossing her phone onto the bed and throwing her head back on the pillow.

Her phone vibrated one last time. Buzz.

Good girl.

--------

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi

[rafesapologist]

the setback ─ rafe cameron; part six

summary: it's been two years since your departure from the outer banks and rafe cameron has seemingly convinced himself that he can go on with his life as if you never happened, except now more than ever his addiction is at an all time high. whether he was snorting lines of cocaine at wild parties or drowning himself in alcohol to numb the pain, rafe couldn't escape the memories of you. despite his efforts to bury his feelings, your absence lingered like a shadow, haunting him at every turn. meanwhile, you've been navigating life outside the outer banks, trying to carve out a new path for yourself. but no matter how far you've traveled, the memories of rafe cameron still linger in your heart, leaving you with a sense of unfinished business. as you find yourself facing new challenges and opportunities, you can't help but wonder if fate will eventually bring you back to the place where it all began.

warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of drinking

author's note: ugh i'm sorry this took longer than other chapters, i've had writer's block and i went out of town for a bit

The air was heavy with the sweet scent of freshly cut grass, mingling with the faint aroma of expensive cologne and cigar smoke. The soft thud of golf clubs hitting balls echoed across the pristine lawns of the country club, a testament to the wealth and leisure of its members. Rafe and Topper stood side by side near the practice green, their faces tense with anticipation. Topper's brow furrowed in disbelief as he processed Rafe's shocking revelation.

"You're kidding me, right?" Topper's voice carried a note of incredulity as he turned to face Rafe, his eyes widening in surprise.

Rafe shook his head, a grim expression settling over his features. "I wish I was," he replied, his tone heavy with resignation. "She's back, Topper. Y/N's back."

Topper let out a low whistle, running a hand through his hair in disbelief. "Damn, man. And here I thought life was starting to get boring."

Rafe shot him a withering look, unamused by his friend's attempt at humor. "This is serious, Topper. She's with JJ now."

Topper's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "JJ? Seriously?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Man, things just keep getting more complicated around here."

Rafe nodded grimly, his jaw clenched as he contemplated the implications of your return. The tension between them was palpable, a silent acknowledgment of the turmoil brewing beneath the surface.

Rafe's voice carried a mix of astonishment and contempt, his words punctuated by a sharp exhale. "I can't believe this. Maybank? I thought she'd have some semblance of standards."

Topper leaned back in his chair, a sly grin playing at the corners of his lips as he observed Rafe's reaction. "Come on, Rafe," he drawled, his voice laced with amusement. "You can't be that shocked. Her and Maybank were pretty close, even when you two were together."

Rafe's grip tightened around his glass, the knuckles turning white as he fought to keep his composure. He shot a warning glare at Topper, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and hurt. "Doesn't matter," he growled, his voice low and menacing. "She's back now, and I'll make sure she remembers why she left in the first place."

Topper's face fell into an amused smirk, his eyes gleaming with curiosity as he leaned forward, genuinely interested in Rafe's plan. "And how do you plan on doing that?" he asked, his voice laced with anticipation and a hint of mischief.

Rafe leaned back, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he contemplated his plan. "I'm gonna rip them apart," he declared, his voice low and full of conviction. "Make them realize they don't belong together. And then, when she's finally free, she'll come running back to me."

Topper's eyebrows shot up in surprise, a mixture of awe and concern crossing his features. "That's a bold move, Rafe," he remarked, shaking his head slightly. "But I like it." Rafe's grin widened, a glint of determination shining in his eyes as he plotted his next move, ready to do whatever it takes to win you back.

Rafe's voice dripped with malice as he leaned in closer to Topper, his eyes glowing with a twisted glee. "I know exactly how to break her," he sneered, his lips curling into a cruel smile. "Things that will make her beg for me." A dark shadow passed over his face, revealing the depths of his deviousness.

Topper's deep, rumbling laugh broke the quiet air, accompanied by a sound of disbelief as he watched Rafe's playful antics. A small smile tugged at the corners of Topper's mouth as he raised his beer in a mock toast to his friend. "You never cease to amaze me," he chuckled, taking a swig from his bottle before setting it back down on the table with a thud. "Cheers to you, man," he added with a grin.

As Rafe's lips curled into a sly grin, the dim lights of the country club reflected in his eyes, illuminating the spark of determination within. With a confident nod, he raised his beer to his lips, savoring the crisp taste as it invigorated him for what was to come. In that moment, the chatter of the club faded into the background, replaced by the rhythmic thumping of his own heartbeat, pulsing with anticipation. With every sip, he felt the weight of his intentions settle upon his shoulders, yet it only fueled his resolve further.

As his gaze drifted into the distance, his mind danced with visions of strategy, each step meticulously planned to achieve his desired outcome. In the hushed atmosphere of the club, Rafe was a portrait of determination, ready to embark on a journey that would test the limits of his calculations and potentially change everything.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

As you sat in the room, the silence enveloped you like a thick fog, muffling the outside world and amplifying the cacophony within your mind. Hours seemed to pass unnoticed, each moment stretching into eternity as you grappled with the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to overwhelm you.

The room itself was a stark white canvas, its walls bare save for a single window that cast a pale light upon the floor. The air was still and heavy, charged with an electric tension that seemed to hum beneath your skin. And there you sat, a fragile figure perched upon the edge of the bed, lost in a sea of thoughts and memories.

The sight of Rafe, after two long years of absence, had struck you like a bolt of lightning, igniting a storm of memories that threatened to consume you whole. You couldn't help but replay moments shared with him, each one a vivid tableau painted in shades of joy, longing, and heartache.

With a heavy heart, you pulled your legs up to your chest, seeking solace in the familiar embrace of solitude. Your mind raced, flickering between moments of happiness and pain, uncertainty and yearning. It was as if time had folded in on itself, trapping you in an endless loop of what-ifs and regrets.

As you stared blankly at the wall before you, the weight of those memories pressed down on you like a leaden blanket. Each image, each whispered conversation, etched itself into your mind with painful clarity, refusing to be ignored or forgotten.

Lost in the labyrinth of your thoughts, you couldn't help but wonder what the future held in store. Would you find the strength to confront the ghosts of your past and move forward, or would you remain forever trapped in the shadows of what could have been?

The weight of guilt settled heavily upon you, a silent burden that threatened to suffocate you with its crushing embrace. It wasn't just the encounter with Rafe that had shaken you to your core; it was the raw intensity of the emotions it had dredged up from the depths of your soul.

Your friends, ever perceptive, had noticed the shift in your demeanor, the subtle changes in your laughter, the haunted look in your eyes. Among them, JJ had been the most attentive, his concern a constant presence in the background of your days. He tried to coax you out of your shell, offering small gestures of kindness and understanding, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to reach the depths of your turmoil.

And it pained him, more than he dared to admit, to see you struggling beneath the weight of your own emotions. He longed to chase away the shadows that haunted your every step, to wrap you in his arms and shield you from the storm raging inside your heart. But try as he might, he couldn't shake the nagging feeling that there was something more, something hidden beneath the surface, that eluded even his keenest gaze.

The sound of a timid knock echoed through the room, jolting you out of the labyrinth of your thoughts. With a furrowed brow and a racing heart, you turned your gaze towards the door, a sliver of curiosity piercing through the veil of your reverie. "Who is it?" you called out, your voice tinged with a mix of apprehension and intrigue.

A familiar voice, soft and gentle, floated through the wooden barrier, carrying with it a sense of warmth and familiarity that washed over you like a gentle tide. "It's me, JJ," came the whispered reply, so quiet that it was almost lost amidst the rustle of the wind outside.

With a heavy sigh, you pushed yourself off the bed, the weight of uncertainty settling like a leaden cloak upon your shoulders. With hesitant steps, you made your way to the door, your hand trembling as you reached out to grasp the handle. As you pulled it open, a rush of cool air swept into the room, carrying with it the faint scent of salt and sea.

Standing before you was JJ, his features bathed in the soft glow of twilight streaming through the window. His eyes, pools of deep blue, held a silent question, a silent plea for understanding that tugged at the strings of your heart. And as you met his gaze, a fragile connection blossomed between you, fragile yet unbreakable, binding you together in a silent embrace.

For a moment, you stood there, locked in a silent tableau, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air between you. And as the seconds stretched into eternity, you realized that sometimes, the greatest truths lie not in what is said, but in the silent spaces that linger between the words.

With a faint smile, you welcomed him into the room with a soft "Hey, come in," stepping aside to allow him entry. JJ nodded his thanks and crossed the threshold, his steps carrying him towards the edge of your bed where he settled himself down, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of concern and affection.

"You haven't left your room all day, Y/N," His soft voice pierced through the silence that had consumed your room all day. You couldn't bring yourself to leave, the weight of your thoughts chaining you in place. Your hand trembled as he reached out to gently grasp it, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver down your spine and grounding you in the present amidst the storm of emotions swirling inside you.

As you lowered yourself onto the bed beside him, the mattress dipped slightly under your weight. You turned to face him, his eyes speaking volumes of unspoken worry and concern. A silent plea hung heavy in the air between you, his gaze searching yours for answers.

"I know," you murmured, barely above a whisper as you struggled to find words to express the turmoil within. "It's just… being back here again, it threw me off more than I thought it would."

JJ's sigh echoed softly in the room, a somber melody that underscored the weight of your shared emotions. He sensed the unspoken truth lingering beneath your words - the invisible thread tethering you to Rafe's memory and tugging you back into the tumultuous waters of your past.

"I understand," JJ murmured, his voice tinged with empathy and apprehension. He knew how much this encounter with Rafe had affected you, stirring up a whirlwind of conflicting emotions and leaving you adrift in uncertainty. But despite the storm raging within you, JJ remained steadfast in his resolve to be your anchor - guiding you through the tempest with unwavering support and love.

"I'm here," he reassured you, his words a gentle promise woven with sincerity. "I won't let you give up like this." His declaration hung in the air, a beacon of hope amidst the darkness threatening to consume you.

But even with JJ's unwavering support, you couldn't help but feel like your past was haunting you after coming back to this island. You spoke quietly, barely above a whisper, struggling to put your feelings into words.

JJ's heart ached at the vulnerability in your voice as he reached out to gently cup your cheek, his touch a comforting anchor amidst the swirling currents of your emotions.

"What do you mean, Y/N?" he asked, his voice gentle yet filled with concern. He leaned in closer, his eyes searching yours for any hint of what you were feeling.

"I just don't feel like I'm half the girl you think I am," you confessed softly, your words heavy with self-doubt.

JJ's confusion only added to the weight of your emotions, making it harder to articulate your feelings. "What are you talking about, baby?"

Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to find the right words. "I've done things that were wrong, Jay," you admitted, each word feeling like a jagged edge tearing at your soul. "And… I ran away from this island just to escape my own problems. That wasn't okay." Your voice wavered as you spoke, the weight of your confession hanging heavily in the air. You felt exposed and vulnerable - but also relieved to finally have someone know the truth.

A somber expression enveloped JJ's features as he listened to your words. "If this is about Rafe and what happened between us when you were seeing him, that was well over two years ago, Y/N," he gently reassured you. "You can't punish yourself for whatever you did in the past, and besides, you two were broken up." His voice carried a comforting tone, laced with understanding and empathy, as he tried to ease the weight of your guilt.

JJ's expression softened, his eyes reflecting a mixture of compassion and contemplation as he searched your face for the right words. For a moment, silence hung heavy between you, the weight of your question lingering in the air. Finally, JJ spoke, his voice gentle yet resolute. "Y/N, forgiveness isn't about deserving or not deserving. It's about understanding and moving forward," he said, his tone carrying a depth of sincerity. "And if it were me… I'd like to think I would have found a way to forgive you."

Although he was sincere, you responded with a dry, non-humored laugh. "You would've hated me, JJ. You and I both know that."

JJ reached out, gently cupping your cheek, his touch warm and reassuring. "I could never hate you, Y/N," he said softly, his gaze unwavering as he met your eyes. "No matter what you think you've done, I'm always going to love you."

As you sought solace in JJ's comforting presence, a whirlwind of conflicting emotions swept through your mind. The echo of past grievances against Rafe clashed with the unexpected empathy that stirred within you upon seeing him again.

In the quiet depths of your soul, doubts danced like shadows, casting uncertainty over your hardened resolve. Could you truly unshackle yourself from the chains of resentment that bound you to the past? Each word JJ spoke, laced with conviction and forgiveness, tugged at the fragile threads of your resolve, threatening to unravel the carefully woven tapestry of your anger.

Yet, amidst the tumultuous storm of emotions, a flicker of compassion ignited within you. The vulnerability in Rafe's gaze, a stark contrast to the arrogance you once knew, pierced through the armor around your heart. It was a silent plea for understanding, a beacon of humanity in a sea of animosity.

With a heavy heart and a tentative smile, you attempted to convey to JJ the semblance of acceptance he sought. But deep within, the embers of resentment still smoldered, casting a shadow of doubt over the possibility of forgiveness.

"I've always loved you, Y/N," he whispered, his voice filled with a depth of emotion that resonated deep within you. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of his embrace, you felt a sense of belonging that transcended words.

With a forced smile, you gazed into JJ's eyes, hoping he wouldn't see through the facade you had carefully crafted. "I love you too, Jay," you repeated, the words hollow and empty, yet spoken with a practiced ease that belied the turmoil raging within. As you spoke the words, you hoped they would serve as a shield, deflecting the raw emotions that threatened to engulf you both. You wanted to believe them, to convince yourself that everything was fine, but deep down, doubts gnawed at the edges of your consciousness.

JJ's soft smile faltered for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty passing over his features before he cleared his throat and spoke up again. His words hung in the air, laden with a sense of hesitation that caught your attention.

"Oh, I also forgot to tell you," he began, his voice tinged with a hint of apprehension, "I got us our jobs back at the golf course."

"You did what?" Your eyes widened in horror, and you shot up from the bed so fast it almost made JJ flinch. The words hung heavy in the air, your mind racing with a whirlwind of emotions. Working at the golf course meant revisiting a part of your past you had worked so hard to leave behind. It was a place filled with memories - both good and bad - that still had the power to shake you to your core.

JJ's expression softened as he watched your reaction, his own uncertainty reflecting in his eyes. He knew how difficult this news was for you, but he also believed that facing your fears head-on might bring some closure.

"Yeah," he replied, his voice gentle yet firm. "I thought it might be good for us, you know? To get back into the swing of things."

You took in a deep breath as you paced the floor, trying to collect your thoughts amidst the whirlwind of emotions. "Well, when are we supposed to start, JJ?" you asked, your voice tinged with apprehension.

JJ scratched the back of his head nervously, his gaze dropping to the floor for a moment before meeting yours. "Uh, tomorrow," he replied, his tone hesitant. "I know it's a lot to take in, but I thought we could use the distraction, you know?"

You scoffed in disbelief as you continued pacing the bedroom, shaking your head continuously as you confronted your boyfriend. "I can't believe you did this, JJ. We could've gotten a job anywhere, and you chose the golf course?"

JJ seemed taken aback by your outburst, shifting uncomfortably under your gaze. "Why are you so upset about working there? Is it because of Rafe?" he asked cautiously, his brow furrowing in concern.

You paused, feeling a surge of anger and frustration at the mention of Rafe's name. Turning on your heel to face JJ, you felt your heart pounding with intensity. "I can't believe you'd say that, especially after the conversation we just had," you exclaimed, your voice laced with a mix of disbelief and disappointment.

JJ's jaw dropped as he looked up at you, his brows furrowing in confusion and frustration. "Well, it's not a far-fetched guess, Y/N!" he exclaimed, his tone edged with frustration. "I mean, why else would you care so much about working there?"

Your voice rose with frustration as you confronted JJ, the pent-up emotions finally boiling over. "Why do you think everything is about Rafe?" you exclaimed, your tone edged with exasperation. "Maybe I didn't like working there, or maybe it's because I fucking outgrew the place when we stopped working there two damn years ago, JJ!"

JJ's eyes widened in surprise at the intensity of your words, his expression shifting from confusion to realization. "Y/N, I'm sorry," he said softly, his voice tinged with regret. "I didn't mean to assume..."

You shoved his hand away, a pang of hurt flashing across JJ's features as he watched you withdraw. "Look, I'm not doing this with you right now, Jay," you said firmly, holding your hands up in defense as you backed away. "I can't handle another fight or argument with anyone, especially you. I just need to be alone right now."

JJ's expression fell, the hurt evident in his eyes as he nodded silently, understanding your need for space. "Okay," he said quietly, his voice tinged with disappointment. "I'll... give you some space."

With a silent nod, you met JJ's gaze, a faint apologetic expression softening your features. Wordlessly, you turned on your heel and made your way out of the bedroom, the weight of the unresolved tension heavy on your shoulders. As you left JJ behind, the air between you thick with unspoken words, you couldn't shake the nagging feeling of guilt that gnawed at your conscience.

Sarah bounced up from the couch, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she eagerly awaited your response. "Hey! Guess where we are going tonight?" she chirped, her voice filled with an infectious energy that lifted your spirits.

You couldn't help but be drawn in by her enthusiasm, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you watched her. "Where are we going tonight?" you asked, genuinely curious now, grateful for the distraction from your earlier argument with JJ.

Sarah's eyes lit up with excitement as she practically bounced on her feet, her smile infectious. "A party!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with enthusiasm.

You couldn't help but feel a surge of curiosity, mixed with a tinge of apprehension. "But aren't we supposed to be keeping a low profile?" you questioned, furrowing your brow in concern.

Sarah waved off your concerns with a dismissive gesture, a playful smirk playing at her lips. "We'll be fine," she assured you, her tone laced with a hint of mischief.

You pondered her words for a moment, weighing the potential consequences of going against John B's wishes. The temptation of a night of carefree fun was hard to resist, and Sarah's infectious enthusiasm was even harder. "Okay," you relented, a small smile spreading across your lips as you agreed.

A squeal of delight escaped Sarah's lips as she threw her arms around you, enveloping you in a warm embrace. "Yay!" she cheered, her voice filled with joy and excitement. "This is going to be so much fun, Y/N!"

The tension eased from your body as you returned her hug, the warmth of her embrace a soothing balm on your frayed nerves. In that moment, the troubles of the past seemed to fade into the background, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and shared purpose.

You pulled away slightly, shooting Sarah a playful grin as you met her gaze. "Let's get ready, then!" you exclaimed, matching her enthusiasm as you grabbed her hand and led her towards the bathroom.

You spent the rest of the afternoon getting ready for the party, a welcome distraction from the heaviness that had weighed on you all day. The excitement buzzed in the air, a palpable sense of anticipation building as you and Sarah prepared yourselves for the night ahead.

With each passing moment, you felt the tension and stress melting away, replaced by a sense of eager anticipation for the evening. And as the sun began to set, painting the sky in a symphony of hues, you couldn't help but wonder what awaited you at the party.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

A myriad of emotions coursed through your veins, the energy of the crowd fueling your own enthusiasm. You couldn't help but be swept up in the contagious spirit of the party, the music thrumming through your body as you swayed along to the beat.

The pulsating lights and pounding bass of the music blurred the edges of your perception, enveloping you in a euphoric haze. You moved to the rhythm with a sense of abandon, feeling the music course through your veins like a drug. Sarah danced beside you, her laughter mingling with the beat as you lost yourself in the moment, surrendering to the intoxicating atmosphere of the party.

As you swayed to the music, you leaned in close to Sarah, the excitement evident in your voice despite the cacophony around you. "I'm gonna go get another drink!" you exclaimed, your words punctuated by the pulsating beat. Sarah flashed you a thumbs up, her own energy mirroring yours as she continued dancing to the rhythm.

As you weaved through the pulsating crowd, the thumping bass reverberating through your body, you felt a surge of energy coursing through you. The dim lights danced around you, casting fleeting shadows that seemed to move in time with the music. With each step, you felt the weight of the world lift from your shoulders, replaced by a sense of liberation and exhilaration.

At the bar, you leaned against the counter, catching the eye of the bartender amidst the chaos. "Another round, please!" you called out, your voice barely audible above the din of the music. The bartender nodded in acknowledgment, swiftly preparing your drink as you scanned the room, taking in the sea of faces illuminated by the neon glow.

Leaning casually against the polished surface of the bar counter, you let your gaze wander aimlessly across the pulsating crowd. The flickering lights cast a kaleidoscope of colors across the room, painting the scene in vibrant hues that danced in time with the music. You tapped your fingers lightly against the edge of the counter, the rhythm of the song seeping into your bones as you swayed gently to its melody.

As you waited for your drink to arrive, you found yourself lost in the moment, humming along to the familiar tune playing overhead. The thumping bass reverberated through the floor, sending vibrations up your legs and into your core. It was as if the music had woven itself into the very fabric of the room, enveloping you in its infectious energy. Amidst the chaos of the party, you felt a sense of calm wash over you, a fleeting moment of tranquility amidst the frenzy. The laughter and chatter of the crowd faded into the background as you allowed yourself to be swept away by the music, letting it carry you to a place of pure bliss.

With your drink in hand, you turned back towards the pulsating crowd, ready to lose yourself once again in the rhythm of the music. But as you took a step forward, your gaze lifted, and you froze in your tracks.

There, just a few feet away, stood a familiar figure, his tall stature commanding attention even amidst the throng of partygoers. Surrounded by his friends, he seemed completely at ease, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips as he engaged in conversation.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you locked eyes with him, a rush of conflicting emotions washing over you. It was as if the chaos of the party faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in a suspended moment of recognition.

Your heart quickened its pace as you struggled to maintain your composure, your grip on your drink tightening involuntarily. Every fiber of your being urged you to look away, to flee from the intensity of his gaze. But something kept you rooted to the spot, unable to tear your eyes away from his.

In that moment, surrounded by the pulsing music and the swirling crowd, you found yourself inexplicably drawn to him, the pull of his presence undeniable despite the distance between you. With a steadying breath, you braced yourself for what was to come, knowing that this encounter would change everything.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you watched him weave through the crowd, each movement drawing him closer to where you stood. The dim lights of the party cast shadows across his features, highlighting the familiar contours of his face as he neared.

Time seemed to slow as he finally reached you, his presence enveloping you in a wave of nostalgia and uncertainty. You couldn't tear your gaze away from him, captivated by the intensity of his eyes as they met yours.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" His voice broke through the haze of the party, pulling you back to the present moment. The sound of his voice sent a shiver down your spine, stirring memories of shared moments and whispered promises.

"I... I'm just here with Sarah," you replied, your voice barely audible above the music. His proximity made it difficult to focus, his presence eliciting a whirlwind of conflicting emotions within you.

He nodded in understanding, his expression inscrutable as he took in your response. "I see," he murmured, his voice carrying a hint of something you couldn't quite decipher. You found yourself caught in his gaze, unable to look away as he spoke.

"Rafe... I," your words caught in your throat as you struggled to find the right thing to say. Meeting his gaze, you searched for the courage to speak, to convey the torrent of emotions swirling inside you.

"Yeah?" Rafe prompted softly, his eyes searching yours for answers.

"I'm sorry about the other day," you attempted to apologize with sincerity although your words slurred some, "it was just a shock to see you.""

You watched as Rafe's shoulders relaxed a bit, his features easing from their initial tension. "It's alright," he said quietly, his gaze softening as he met your eyes. "I guess I should've expected to see you back here eventually."

You held your silence as you peered up at him momentarily with a doe-eyed look gazing up at him, silently pleading for his forgiveness. Although the room around you was still spinning, you intently watched as his azure colored eyes flickered back and forth between yours, as if he was trying to find some truth to your words.

Rafe's expression softened further as he looked down at you, a hint of vulnerability shining in his eyes. "I've missed you," he admitted quietly, his voice barely audible over the music.

As his words hung in the air, the chaos of the party seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of suspended time. The confession tugged at your heart, stirring up feelings you had buried deep within yourself.

"I've missed you too," you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. The raw honesty of the moment enveloped you both, weaving a fragile thread of connection between your intertwined pasts and uncertain futures.

Rafe reached out tentatively, his hand hovering in the space between you as if seeking permission. Without hesitation, you closed the gap, letting his fingers intertwine with yours. It felt like coming home after a long journey, a sense of familiarity and warmth flooding through your veins.

In that fleeting moment of contact, a wave of memories flooded your mind - the shared laughter, stolen kisses, and whispered promises that once filled your days with joy. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air, begging to be released into the fragile space between you. Rafe's gaze bore into yours, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears as if mirroring the emotions swirling within you.

With a deep breath, you mustered the courage to break the silence that had settled between you. "I never stopped loving you," the words spilled out in a whisper, carrying a lifetime of regrets and longing.

Rafe's grip on your hand tightened ever so slightly, a silent acknowledgment of the feelings he had buried deep within himself. "I thought about you every day," he confessed, his voice barely above a murmur.

Tears welled up in your eyes as the weight of unspoken truths lifted off your shoulders, leaving behind a bittersweet ache for all the time lost. The music continued to play in the background, a gentle melody underscoring the intensity of the moment between you and Rafe. It was as if the universe had conspired to bring you both back together, allowing a second chance at love to bloom amidst the chaos of the party swirling around you.

As you stood there, hand in hand with Rafe, the distance that had once seemed insurmountable now felt like a mere whisper of a forgotten past. The years apart melted away, leaving behind a sense of familiarity and yearning that echoed in the depths of your souls.

"I don't want to lose you again," Rafe's voice broke through the silence, his words laced with a vulnerability that pierced through your defenses. His gaze held yours, pleading for a chance to make things right, to rewrite the story that had been left unfinished between you.

In that moment, surrounded by the haunting melody of the music and the weight of their shared unspoken truths, you felt a sense of hope blossoming within you. The years of heartache and longing seemed to fade into nothingness as you found yourself gazing into Rafe's eyes, seeing the same yearning reflected back at you.

“So much has changed since I left, Rafe. I..I’m with JJ now,” A flicker of pain crossed Rafe's face at your words, his grip on your hand tightening momentarily before he forced himself to relax. "I see," he replied softly, though the turmoil in his eyes was impossible to conceal. You could sense the flood of emotions swirling beneath the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment.

As you watched Rafe struggle to maintain his composure, a pang of regret washed over you. The complexities of the situation weighed heavily on your heart, torn between the past that still held a piece of your soul and the present that offered a different kind of solace.

"I'm sorry, Rafe," you whispered, the words heavy with an unspoken apology for the wounds you had inadvertently reopened. His gaze softened as he looked at you, a mix of understanding and heartbreak clouding his features.

"It's okay," Rafe said, his voice tinged with resignation. "I should have expected as much."

The air between you grew heavy with unspoken words and unresolved emotions, creating a rift that felt impossible to bridge. You searched for the right words to ease the tension that lingered between you, yearning for a way to mend what had been broken so long ago.

"I never wanted to hurt you," you confessed, the weight of guilt settling heavily on your shoulders. Rafe's gaze softened upon hearing your words, a flicker of empathy shining through the hurt in his eyes.

"I know," he replied quietly, his voice laced with a mixture of pain and acceptance. "We both made mistakes, Y/N. That's in the past now." Silence enveloped you once more, the weight of unspoken apologies and regrets hanging in the air like a heavy shroud. The music continued to pulse around you, a stark contrast to the stillness that had settled between you and Rafe.

"I should go," Rafe said suddenly, his voice breaking through the quiet that had descended upon you both. His fingers slipped out of yours, leaving a ghost of warmth in their wake. You watched as he turned to leave, his shoulders hunched with the weight of unresolved emotions. As he reached the doorway, he paused, his back still turned to you.

"I'll always care about you," Rafe's voice drifted back to you, heavy with emotion. And then, without another word, he was gone.

You stood there for a moment, the echo of his words ringing in your ears. The truth in them was undeniable, a bittersweet reminder of what once was between you. With a heavy sigh, you closed your eyes and let the music wash over you, its melody a poignant backdrop to the ache in your heart.

As the party continued on around you, laughter and chatter filling the air, you found yourself lost in memories of a time when things had been different between you and Rafe. A time when love had bloomed instead of withered, when promises had meant something more than just words.

But now, all that was left were shattered fragments of what could have been. The weight of regret settled in the pit of your stomach as you replayed the moments of the past that led to this heartbreaking present. The music that once brought joy now felt like a cruel reminder of happier times, mocking the emptiness that consumed you.

Lost in your thoughts, you barely noticed when a familiar voice interrupted the melancholy symphony playing in your mind. "Y/N?" The voice was hesitant, almost tentative, pulling you back to reality. You turned to see Rafe standing before you, uncertainty written across his features.

"I couldn't leave without saying this," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "I still love you, Y/N. Despite everything that has happened, my feelings for you never truly faded." His words hung in the air between you, heavy with raw emotion.

Tears stung at the corners of your eyes, emotions swirling within you like a tumultuous storm. Rafe's confession left you speechless, the weight of his words crashing over you like a tidal wave. Despite the ache in your heart, a glimmer of hope flickered within you at his declaration. You searched his eyes, seeing the genuine vulnerability and longing in them.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still as you both stood there, enveloped in a bubble of unresolved emotions and unspoken words. The sounds of the party faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in a world of your own making.

Finally finding your voice, you reached out a trembling hand towards him, unsure of what the future held but unwilling to let go of this fragile chance at reconciliation. "Rafe," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the music. "I never stopped loving you either."

His eyes widened in surprise, as if not daring to believe that your feelings mirrored his own. Without another word, he stepped closer to you, closing the distance between you until there was barely a breath of space separating your bodies. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the electric tension between you and Rafe.

In that moment, it felt as if all the pain and heartache of the past melted away, overshadowed by the overwhelming rush of emotion that surged through you. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, a familiar yet long-forgotten sensation.

Rafe's gaze never wavered from yours as he slowly raised his hand to cup your cheek, his touch gentle yet firm. Every nerve in your body tingled at his proximity, at the unspoken promise that hung in the air between you.

Without a word, you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes as if savoring the feeling of his hand against your skin. It was as if the world had finally righted itself, as if all the pieces that had been scattered were falling back into place.

And in that stolen moment of quiet intimacy, with your heart beating wildly in your chest, Rafe's lips met yours in a tender yet fervent kiss. It was a merging of souls, a culmination of years of longing and regret, all encapsulated in the simple act of their lips meeting. The world around you ceased to exist as you melted into each other, the weight of past grievances lifting off your shoulders with each passing second.

As the kiss deepened, it was as if time itself had rewound, bringing you back to a place where love was pure and uncomplicated. The doubts and fears that had plagued your mind just moments ago faded into oblivion, replaced by a sense of completeness that only Rafe could bring.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and dazed, there was a softness in Rafe's eyes that you hadn't seen in years. It was a look of understanding and forgiveness, a silent promise of starting anew. "I've missed you," Rafe whispered, his voice barely audible yet filled with a depth of emotion that resonated within you. His words hung in the air, echoing the unspoken longing that had lingered between you for so long.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you searched his gaze, finding solace and hope reflected back at you. It was a moment of vulnerability and truth, where all the barriers you had built around your heart crumbled in the face of his sincerity.

"I've missed you too," you whispered back, your voice barely above a breath as if afraid to break the fragile magic that had enveloped you both.

Rafe's thumb brushed away a tear that escaped down your cheek, his touch gentle and reassuring. In that simple gesture, you found a sense of peace that had eluded you for years. In the quiet hum of the night, with nothing but the soft rustle of leaves outside the window, Rafe drew you closer into his embrace. The warmth of his touch seeped into your skin, chasing away the remnants of doubt and uncertainty that lingered within you.

As you rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, a sense of belonging washed over you. It was a feeling that transcended words, a silent understanding that had been forged through years of shared moments and untold secrets.

The sound of his voice lulled you into a peaceful state, his words echoing the unspoken feelings that lay dormant within you.

"I'm sorry," Rafe murmured, his tone laced with remorse. "For everything."

You nodded against his chest, the movement barely perceptible. "I know," you replied, your voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry too."

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of regret and forgiveness. With the music pulsating around you, you clung to him as if afraid to let go, knowing that this was a moment you would carry with you forever.

taglist: @rrosiitas, @champomiel, @vadinaleme, @kys4-20, @gills-lounge, @allsmilesreally7, @sublimepenguinpeach-blog, @sp00ky-spr1te, @bibliophilewednesday, @haroldpotterson, @i-love-rafe, @ellesalazar, @calmoistorm, @abundantxadorations, @fals3-g0d, @gillybear17, @oiiviagrande, @hockeybabe87,

@augustlikesdeath, @wpdailyminimeta, @palmwinemami, @loxleys-blog, @ikisscline, @flyestvenustrap, @ilovesteveharrngton, @ijustwanttoreadlols, @fastlovela, @wickedlovely121, @fals3-g0d, @givemylovetoall, @lucfics, @briefwinnerpersonaturtle, @maybankslover, @peachy4u2, @hockeybabe87, @yeosxxx, @zizouu23, @h34rtsformilli, @maybankslover, @yawnzshit, @rubixgsworld, @tsumudoll

[blucassiopeia]

Dangerous

"A prelude spin-off for an upcoming fic"

warnings: afab!reader, angst with comfort but not the one you expect, bit of NSFW but nothing explicit still, be responsible of what you're reading, mentions of pregnancy, 8.3k LONG, spanish and portuguese languages (translated)

An Oikawa Tooru x reader one shot

a/n: uhmm, more clues? be wary of the details?

A new country is scary for Oikawa Tooru. Yeah, sure, this is one step closer to his dream but he has left a ginormous part of him back in Japan. His life is there. She is there. She, whom he left for his dream so hastily, a dream he chose and will always choose over anything and anyone. And he's guilty.

But she smiled and let me go, he thought as he stared into the ceiling of his new room of 2 days. He figured he wasn't much as important as someone else that it was easy for her to agree on this. Why wouldn't she? Who was he to her to hold onto anyway?

She'll be fine without me. I'm gonna be fine. Everything will be fine.

Tooru continuously convinced himself as he sorted out the last boxes onto his apartment. It's still dusty, he decided to clean up after moving his things to their places. He declined Coach Blanco's help on this, don't wanna bother him more than his bothersome favor of letting him join the Argentinean League even though he's still processing his citizenship.

He met the team he'll be playing the day before, figured they were nice and was excited about a Japanese setter on their team, a fresh talent for the upcoming league. And Ushijima Wakatoshi and Kageyama Tobio aren't here, how extravagant.

The neighborhood was nice, the people more so. It's lovely and lively, even at nights. The culture was shocking but it's to be expected. Though, he'd still prefer Miyagi's countryside air over this bustling city life in the other side of the world. His heart was there. Homesickness still hasn't settled in hard, but it will be after a punch so hard it'll wake him up for what he had left but can't go back to.

"Someone's waiting for you across your street. At a bistro of sorts? I don't know but you'll know when you see them, Kawa."

It was a week after he moved to Argentina, and here is Hajime calling him. He thought his bestfriend will be checking up on him like his first day here, he unconsciously pouted out of habit.

"Who is it?"

"Just go and face them, you shitty mess."

Dejectively, he said "I'm not shitty, Iwa-chan.", pulling out his sweatpants and sweater ready for a chilly night outside.

He wondered who was it that's waiting for him. He has wild guesses, first was of course, Hajime. And, or maybe Issei and Maki. Or maybeー

His lazy paces turned excited as he thought of her waiting for him somewhere near, somewhere he can finally reach. Did she made up her mind on the offer? But what about her life in Japan? But, is she really here? That can be possible right?

The lights were dancing on Tooru's face as he ran from bistro to bistro in his street to find her, thrill showing in his face. He didn't even notice he was grinning already, a sincere grin he didn't flash publicly for over three weeks. He was expecting to see her.

He felt his knuckles tighten as he saw them though, one smirking, standing up, and one just lounging, seriously staring back at him. He shouldn't have expected for her, he should've expected for the worst, this worst. His grin turned devilish, the usual one he flashes when he's agitated over a play, the one he erased from his face whenever he's with her.

And you saw that face shift of Tooru's, frame by frame.

You knew him. Who wouldn't? Except for the fact that he's your neighbor next door, he's the only new blood around the area and the single ladies working for your family's bistro are instantly swooning over this new foreign specimen. Messy chocolate brown hair with chocolate brown eyes to match, that panty-dropping smile and voice, his outgoing personalityーto which you're not comfortable with, you don't know whyーand his skills for volleyball. You saw him once early morning at an outdoor volleyball court just off the block and figured he might be joining the province's volleyball league club so soon.

And this face shift now was new to you, evident too for having some of the ladies having eyes on this particular scene.

The two guys that ordered nothing but a tall glass of iced tea and fries has been at the same spot in the bistro for roughly three hours, speaking in a foreign language you know is Japanese, considering you heard Tooru once talking over the phone. You assumed that they're here for him, and you were right. But not this kind of right. You slowly detached yourself from behind the counter, taking off your apron.

And Tooru has just his eyes on the man standing and smirking at him. It has been over a year since Tooru last saw him, after he made an honest mistakeーwell, it's not really this man's mistake but Tooru thinks he had been toying with her feelings, one he really disliked of him up to this day. And of how the way the man is smirking at him right now, Tooru knows it's his turn to be misunderstood.

"It's been a while, man. 'Sup?" Tooru said so casually, walking up to their table at the side of the bistro.

The man scratched his brows and looked down, but Tooru knows he's seething. He smirked before hearing a "Yeah, it's been a while Tooru."

And Tooru felt it in his cheek, on his hip clashing to one of the empty table beside him, hard. This man has been playing volleyball for as long as him, it's not to doubt that he can throw a punch this hard too as much as he could spike, he can taste something metallic inside his cheeks, a sting on his lip. But Tooru just scoffed and grinned as usual, retaining his balance and stood face to face with him, dangerously close.

"HEY!"

If Tooru heard you, he didn't react, raging eyes focused on the man infront of him. But the other man seated between them turned his head to you, gray eyes dead contrasting the boyish grin he flashed and said, "Sorry. This is how we greet each other in our place. Don't call the cops. They will talk with each other nowー" and he turned to the two with a cold voice, "ーin a civilized manner, right?"

The man who punched Tooru groaned at what the gray-eyed man said and heeded, sat, pointed the seat in front of him, gesturing Tooru to sit there. That was when Tooru caught your eyes, deadpan and emotionless. He sighed, wiping blood off his mouth, seethed at the sting off his lip and sat down in front of his two visitors.

You walked back to your kitchen and got ice cubes, almost on instinct on your part. You came back out to their table with a glass of water and the ice cubes.

"Estás bien, Tooru?" But Tooru just shot his brows up without looking up and ran his fingers on the cold feeling of the compression sack of ice cubes.

Tooru's mind was hazy from the avalanche of presence in front of him and for the possible reasons why they are here, why they spared time and money to just deliver a punch from across the globe. He felt your eyes linger a bit more before sighing and leave. One thing was clear in his mind that moment, though. He wished someone to drag him out of that place.

"Why are you both here?"

"To ask you why THE FUCK d'you leave her like that."

He expected that question, and he knew the answer too well. It's just dumb to ask that to him, and the one who asked is just too dumb to ask without knowing himself that he's the answer. Tooru can't help but smirk. The slight scrunch on his lips sent miniscule shots of pain from the punch earlier.

Tooru can't believe they travelled to where he is just to ask that, personally. Well, maybe it was the punch that motivated them. And Tooru needed that, too, given what he had left.

"Can't believe you picked volleyball over her! AND you promised me! YOU PROMISED ME TOORU! FUCK!" Together with the raise of his voice, the table wobbled at his smacks on it, earning a groan from the other next to him, reflexively lifting the glasses of iced teas off the table in time.

"Hey! Not the iced teas! I'm gonna kick you!"

Tooru dead-stared at the man glaring at him and he flashed his evil grin at him, super annoyed of his cluelessness of the situation.

"You think if I picked her, she'll also pick me? No. She'll still pick you over anyone else." He stopped grinning, still dead staring, his following words are on a lower octave, menacing. "And you fucking know that."

"I love her and fuck, I want her to be happy even if you can't believe it. And if she's gonna be happy with you, thenー" Tooru spread his arms wide, his expression changing to melancholic. "ーI'm gonna welcome that fact with open arms."

The other man scoffed at his seat, still eating the fries he ordered. "You don't destroy the people you love, Tooru." The other man side-eyed the man beside him. "That goes for you, too."

"But you promised me." It was a mumble now, taking Tooru back 4 months ago when this man in front of him purposely meet and talked with him about Ran. "You promised to be with her until I come back."

"Not all people can take it. If this person right here with you can take it, I can't. There's just so much pain I can take if it's her."

"She's pregnant."

Tooru's eyes were slow to meet the man's eyes, his expression looked like he got pulled down a few meters more than it sank before. It was for a moment, but you saw it from the counter. Your eyes flickered curiosity and worry.

Tooru smiled sincerely to the men's surprise. "Then, go home. Be with her. She needs you. And congratulations.. on being a dad."

The man who Tooru declared a dad suddenly stood up, knocking his chair back, grabbed Tooru's collar with him and close to him, stared into his sad eyes. The man beside them groaned, but not at the collar-grabbing scene now but on what Tooru said.

"Fuck. You." The man sincerely spouted those words to Tooru's now smirking face. "FUCK YOU!"

But Tooru ignored him and turned to the man who's drinking his glass of iced tea from the tension. "'Samu, don't waste time. He had already wasted so much of it. Drag him back to Ran."

And he thankfully got a nice response as Osamu stood up and slap the man's hands off of Tooru's collar, "Let's go back to Japan."

"OSAMUー"

"I KNOW! I FUCKING KNOW! BUT I HAVE ALREADY TOLERATED YOU TOO FUCKING LONG! NOW DROP TOORU OFF!" Osamu breathed heavy, staring back at the still-aggravated man. The tension of the bistro has risen up and the dining locals are all-eyes to the scene in front of them. "Please. I don't want Ran to kill me if you get jailed from across the world. C'mon. You heard from Tooru already."

The man dropped Tooru's collar that slumped Tooru back to his seat as his knees buckled for some reason he clearly knew. He just stared straight ahead, off nowhere, muffled conversations he can't make up but he heard the man clearly said before leaving.

"Stay away from Ran. You left her, right? Then stay there and watch as I make her the happiest woman alive."

Those words crumbled his world, made him double guess his choice. He was so sure of this when he told Ran, even invited her to go with him even if he knew it's a shot to the moon. He was so sure because this is his life-long dream. But now..

You saw him still staring blankly to open space, not moving. Your ladies have sympathetic looks for him and asking if he's ever okay, can't they see that he isn't?

You were about to approach him after a good 30 minutes of no-nothing from Tooru when he suddenly stood up, "Lo siento por eso, Y/n." and went straight out of the bistro looking so sullen, without even looking at you, or anyone.

And that was just the start of your weird attraction to him.

You found yourself knocking on his door one early night off from the bistro, with a container full of pasta to share to him. You already distributed the good half of what's left to your other neighbors and you purposely left him last, coz maybe you'd want to check up on him too.

It has been a week since his encounter in the bistro, a week since you noticed him ever going out of his apartment. Your mama was quite worried for the young man after you told her what happened, urging you to talk to him being the only one around his age in the apartment building.

And alas! You're here. You fidgeted with your toes curling and relaxing, tapping the pads against your rubbery surface of your slippers. Why's he not answering? He not dead, right? He better not be. You knocked again, three loud knocks just to be sure.

You were about to do a set of knocks again when the door swung open, revealing a topless Tooru, emotionless eyes drooping and bloodshot, hair all over the place, his sweatpants hang low on his hips revealing the garter part of his boxers underneath. You revel in the way he stared at you as he leans on his door jamb, waiting for you to say something. That was when you realize that you're already rudely staring.

He cocked a brow that elicited your voice. "Pasta?"

He hummed and opened the door wider, an invitation for you to come in his apartment, and you took a step in. Later on, you'd regret ever stepping into his life too.

Your eyes swept through his place. It's messy, like he threw things all over the place. A broken picture frame with glasses all over them, a broken drinking glass too just off the counter, the mirror off the corner is cracked in the middle with blood in it, throw pillows scattered in his sala, and a picture frame on the carpet near the couch.

Glass plates clanked at one another as Tooru got one for the pasta and you noticed his knuckle that got dried blood on it as he placed the plate in front of you on the table. It was silent, except for the water dripping from his kitchen sink and of his hoarse breathing.

"Close the door when you leave. Gracias."

That was out from his cold voice, uncharacteristic from the outgoing Tooru that you knew. Your eyes trained at him as he lazily walked back to his couch and sprawled like nothing happened, fingers caressing the picture frame below.

You took a deep breath as you transferred the pasta to his plate and slid it inside his fridge. You took more deep breaths as you searched for his broom and fixed the mess around his apartment. He didn't utter a word, might've not heard of you as he has his eyes closed, a tear pending on the side of his eye. Asleep? That fast?

Your lips formed a thin line as you pursed them, padding quietly close to him to watch his chest heave as he breathes. Your eyes travelled to his arm draping down the couch and to his fingers touching the glass of the picture frameーof a beaming golden haired girl with him, also beaming and ruffling the girl's hair.

You bend over to pick it up, a hand reaching over the frame, but your soul flew out of your body when suddenly, Tooru's hand gripped your wrist so hard you winced. Your head whipped to the fully-awake Tooru, burning eyes on you. Your soul wanted to flee right then and there but you were frozen, enthralled by the hidden emotion on that raging brown eyes.

"I'm sure it's not in your culture to touch the things you don't own without the owner's consent." The grip on your wrist tighten more when you didn't answer seconds later.

"Lo siento, Tooru. Just wanna fix your apartment for you."

Tooru just hummed and picked the frame with the hand he used to grip your wrist, hugged it against his bare chest, back to closing his eyes. "Gracias. Close the door."

Rubbing the sting on your wrist, you made way for his door yet your hand lingered on the knob. You sighed, head craning up, contemplating if you should say it or not, or how would he respond or not, but there's nothing wrong in asking it right?

"Tooruー" Yep, you can't. "ーMama's having a welcome party for you on the weekend."

Tooru just hummed and a silence so deafening followed. Your eyes flew to the faucet of his kitchen sink and glared at it for being so traitorous.

"You come over, 'kay? You can bring anyone, e-even your team."

Silence again. You bit your lip and sighed. Okay, that's it for now, Y/n. That's it for now.

And you were glad you did ask him that night because when Saturday night came, he did show up with his team, Club Atletico San Juan. What you didn't expect was his composure. Tooru's back to being outgoing and has a friendly aura around him, he even smiled at you and your parents, thanking you for the party.

You were left confused all night, stealing glances on him as he laughs and converse with his team and some of the locals. He even caught you once, but he just smiled and raised his beer mug, and went back talking.

Now you know why you're uncomfortable with this kind of personality of Tooru's. You have already seen the surface of his other side.

You were deemed observant even before Tooru appeared, and this right here was spot on. You scrunched your nose and shook your head, shaking the thoughts off your mind. You knew you shouldn't be attached to this kind of man. He's dangerousーbut interesting. You caught yourself groaning, you wanna dump your head straight to a bucket of cold water.

"Y/n, Tooru's table."

Your mama pushed a tray with two buckets of beers and you heaved it up to take it to Tooru's table. He saw you coming and stood up to help you. You smiled at him and offered your gratitude but he surprised you when he held your hand and guided you to seatーon his lap. Jeers erupted the table,and of the place.

"You don't mind, Señor? Señora?"

He called out to your parents, your eyes flickering to your mama in the counter and papa just off a few tables, drinking with his pals, both just shook their heads in approval, tolerant to the newcomer. You attempted to stand up but he snaked an arm around your waist to ground you. His stern eyes flickered to you for a second before beaming his usual smile.

He handed a bottle to you, "Drink?" The smell of alcohol wafted across your face from Tooru's mouth. You stared at his now dancing chocolate eyes, red shade on his neck and cheeks up to his ears. You thought he's drunk already, how much did he drink anyway?

You sighed and took the bottle he offered, drank from it. You felt weird being this close with a stranger. Well, not totally a stranger, you had known him for roughly two weeks now. But stillー

You took notice of how his hand was caressing your thighs as he talks with his team as the night went on with you still on his lap, his hand on your waist creating gentle strokes that made your head fuzzy, added the alcohol in your system. That's when you decided to stop drinking. And Tooru took notice of that. He leaned back on his chair and guided your head to lean on his shoulder.

Shutting your eyes won't do the trick, you still felt eyes staring at you as you let him do what he wants. Fuck tolerance. Fuck.

"You're not comfortable?" He mumbled low, enough that you're the only one to hear. You sneered at him.

"Is this a payback for what I did in your apartment?"

"Not quite, cariño." You instantly blushed at the unexpected endearment, stomping at his feet to which he grinned momentarily and sighed thereafter, "Stay here with me for a while, por favor."

And you didn't know how the tone of his voice enchanted you to agreeing on staying at his lap, found yourself nuzzling on his neck a moment later to which he sighed and caressed your hair as he felt your breath on his neck. And you should find a right answer to the flooding questions from people later on. Right now, his proximity first. He needs you, and you understand him somehow. The questions can wait.

"Her name is Ran, Y/n."

Tooru slurred as he rolled over his bed after being dropped by his teammates back to his apartment. You got a warm towel at hand, done with wiping his body off of sweat and alcohol, fresh clothes that his teammates change him into. He's facing you right now, enjoying in the way your hands ran through his brown locks.

"She'sーI love her, so much. But the man you saw punched me? That was his boyfriend." He closed his eyes and smiled, tears were rolling down to his pillowcase and you looked at him solemnly.

"They're complicated, and I got in the way and now, got swooped out of the pictureー" He heaved a hard sigh, you taking notice of the toll it cost on Tooru. "ーlike how it was meant to be all along. I knew it would happen. I knew it will, butー" He opened his eyes, stared straight, not meeting your eyes, "ーI never knew it'll hurt this much. This is what I get from getting in between."

You cupped his face. "But, 'ñorito, there's nothing wrong with loving her. I think you're brave to still express your feelings even if she loves someone else."

"You don't destroy the people you love."

That line got stuck with you as the days went by.

Tooru got moving again, taking jogs so early in the morning you see him go as you're drinking your cup of coffee, blanket around you in your little balcony facing the street. And he got more friendly, the little kids try to imitate him but Tooru's pace is just much for them. And the ladies, oh the ladies, you can't help but palm your face and grin as he winks at them as he passes by, making the ladies squeal and giggle so early in the morning.

"He's drunk, and I was dizzy. That's all."

You have repeated that monotonous answer to all who asked about that Saturday night with Tooru. It was exhausting but still thankful that Tooru lets you answer the way you wantedーwell, there's nothing to change, it is what it is.

But your mama knew better.

"It's okay to get attracted, I'll understand, but guard your heart hija, mi amor."

You took deep breaths as you were assigned to bring Tooru's dinner to his table. He does this every night if he finish practice early. He takes dinner in the bistro in just a white shirt and gym shorts. But why does he looks more good like this? Is it the dried sweat lingering in his hairline? Or the way his face towel hangs on his shoulder? Or just his glittering chocolate orbs dancing to the bistro lights?

"Gracias."

You were about to turn back to the counter, wiping your hands on your apron as you intended to go. But you were pulled back by your elbow, hearing a squeal from your kitchen. Oh great. You smiled at the owner of the hand that's also beaming at you and offering half of his clubhouse sandwich.

"Eat with me?"

And it's always like this, him, inviting you to random activities like this. Eating dinner with him, dragging you to jog with him early in the morning, dragging you to his practice if you're off in the bistro, begging you to teach him how to cook Argentinean cuisines, stroll with him in the park when it's his turn for a dayoff, movie nights, movie nights, movie nights.

You don't know if it's sympathy for him being alone in a foreign country, heartbroken and still mending, while reaching for his goals or it's just yourself, fully attracted to him. You don't even know when and how did it started, you just find yourself one morning thinking what will he do to get your attention, or what favors will he be asking again. He eased in your life so easily with progressing favors and it's still barely a month.

"Mama! Borrowing Y/n for tonight!"

It just took a month to arrive to this night, the night that will change everything in you. You kept asking how the hell were you so easy to get for Tooru but it took the others over a year to get you. Thoughts swarming your head as he stared at you, him having laid his head on your lap looking up at you after you said something like, "Someone out there likes you Tooru, you're enjoyable to be with, no dull moments. You're hella attractive, take a hint from the ladies on the streets as you jog by. You might have some red flags but I believe you can work with that. AndーTooru, you're boyfriend material."

He got up, had his back against your thigh, a hand on the couch on your back caging you, and even if you're both seated, he's still looking slightly down at you. And he's dangerously close, you can't deny if he'll ever say he can hear your heart pound harder.

"Can I kiss you for that?"

You can feel the enchantment in his voice again, with an intense stare to match. You have to pause and think for a second. He's in a heartbroken state, and can easily be swayed with sweet words, thirsty for comfort. And you're the closest to get it from, as for now. You might be left behind, hell he might just forget this favor in the morning. He can be playing with you, teasing youーbut being aware of that annoying attraction you have for him, you fucking nodded, eye closed and anticipating.

You felt his hands ghosting on your face, keeping some strands away, caressing your cheek with a finger before cupping it with the delicate touch of his calloused hands. Then you can feel his breath fanning across your face, you sucked your breath from the closeness, your nails digging to your palm, and you heard him chuckle.

"Relax. Won't eat you."

You smirked, still with your eyes closed. "What a lie."

Then you felt it, his fluttering lips pressed onto yours ever so gently you felt it barely touched, brushed might be a good term before he pressed it firmly, and another one, and another until you can't take the teasing and your hands flew to the back of his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him back. Your eyes fluttered open when you pulled back, meeting his eyes full of shock and curiosity and amusement and you just rolled your eyes on him, rubbing a thumb on his skin.

His face is breaking a breathy smile when he felt your awkwardness from the way your arms loosened in his neck. "Can I touch you?"

You instantly felt fire in your cheeks, swallowed a lump on your throat and Tooru sees how your reactions danced in your face, frame by frame. And he is amused by it, much more when you nodded.

He smiled at you before going for a deep kiss, poking his tongue onto your lips for entry, and you granted him access, running your hands on his hair slightly tugging. You can't help but moan at how his tongue flicks against yours, and how his hands wander on your thighs, rubbing so sensually. Then you yelped when he lifted you up to his lap, straddling him and capturing your lips again.

Tooru's hands travelled up your skirt, gripping your ass and smirked through your kiss, realizing you just wore your thong. You pulled away enough to mutter a "Shut up, Tooru." And you smashed your lips back to his, hungrily kissing him and groaning the constant teasing of his fingers in your underwear's garter.

"Can I do more?" He asked after a few good minutes of kissing and groping, his breath heavy, eyes hazy with lust. "Fuck. Please, let me do more."

You tilted your head, mocking him and you laughed when he groaned and buried his head on your chest. You're no better, you can feel wetness from between your thighs and it's just a matter of time before he notices that, and he will still tease you no matter what so you lowered your hips, lining your wetness to his hard-on and started grinding, earning an animalistic groan from him.

"Fucking shit. You're wet already, mi amor. Lo sienーfuck."

You moaned as he tightened his grip on your waist, guiding it down and faster. "I'm gonna ravish you, okay?"

He didn't waited for your answer as he captured your gaping mouth and swallowed your moans. You can feel his finger swiped through your wetness before lifting you up to his room and down to his soft mattress. And even if this is the first time seeing him above you like this, you know you can't get enough of this sight. It's so captivating, swallowing your thoughts whole, ignoring the danger alerts from your system. You won't have this any other way.

Tooru woke up to a soft grip around his waist, a comfortable weight on his draped arm. Thoughts from the previous night came reeling and he sighed, pulling you closer by your head and kissed your hair to which you hummed and nuzzled your head to his neck.

He stared at the ceiling, remembering the conversation that led you to his bed. His face soured as he reached for his phone. It was muted the whole day yesterday for some reason he can't stomach but the curiosity is killing him now.

☆ VOLLEYBALL IDIOTS ー MAIN ☆

JZJ | Runa

Aaahh, sorry Ran! I can't! Just share more pictures pleasee!

JZJ | Yuuji

HAH! NO!

DON'T!

JZJ | Runa

Booger!

ITC | Yoomi

Stop being a bully for once.

STZ | Kenjiro

Please send pictures.

CRW | Kei

Tsk. @Rintaro Suna

CAT | Kai

Ran said you have to give two gifts if you didn't attend even the reception, LOL.

DT | Kenji

I'm attending the reception! Fuck!

@Mai Nametsu PM

SJ | Hajime

I have proxies there.

SJ | Maki

who? 😏

SJ | Issei

WHO? 👀

SJ | Hajime

🌵

FOX | Rintaro

*sent 12 pictures*

Tooru Oikawa left the group

FOX | Samu

LMAO

Osamu Miya added Tooru Oikawa to the group

@RAN'S PLUSHIE he's escaping

RAN'S PLUSHIE

LOL

@Tooru Oikawa as promised

*sent 1 picture*

SJ | Tooru

👍

CRW | Hisashi

Awkward....

CRW | Tobio

@RAN'S PLUSHIE don't use your phone while at your own reception

TOBIO'S Y/N

Oh.

RAN'S PLUSHIE

Heyyy! I'm sorry! But are y'all enjoying??

Tooru discarded his phone to his nightstand, the pictures sent embedded in his mind too late. All he could do was card your locks, closing his eyes, prohibiting any tears to fall from his eyes.

He has to accept it. He did this to himself. Now he has to face it. And begrudgingly dragging you to the mess that he is. He'll regret this, but what's there to mess more in his life?

His phone kept ringing and buzzing as the days went by. He's back to his usual routine, morning jogs, day to afternoon practices and nights with you. As you moan in his ears as you came the fourth time a month after your first hook up with him, he can't shake the thought that why is it so hard to detach himself from Ran and make space for you in his heart other than this heated relationship you have with him.

You're kind, and thoughtful, you understand him, saw his darkest parts, and you're gorgeous. He kept throwing glances to those men who checks you out when you're out jogging with him, even some of his teammates are checking you out he glared at them once. He's.. protective of you. All he knows is he wants you near him, like this. You somehow provide comfort in his messy world, a pillow to hug through his lonely life. And he has to somehow repay you, other than being a fuckbuddy.

So, he started cooking for you when he comes back to his apartment from practice, helping in the bistro on his days off, giving you random sunflowers picked from the park you had to smack his arm everytime through your blush. He's not oblivious to your budding feelings, and he'll be damned he knows it, unable to reciprocate it.

"Where are we going?"

He huffed as he cruised through the road out of the city, bags for a week packed on the back seat.

"The team's got a friendly match in Mar del Plata, can't leave you behind." He side eyed you and smiled, his features in the sunrise looked so dazzling as always.

And you were debating with your heart again, continuously asking what kind of relationship is this. You never dared opening up the topic, afraid that opening it up would instantly end whatever this is. And you're sure you're not ready for it to happen.

Your train of thoughts were halted when he hummed, "Y/n, just wanna let you know I'm in the roster already, training to be their starter setter. If I acquire my citizenship within three months, I can join the leagues in November."

You grinned at him, a leg propped on your seat as you turn your body to face him. "I knew you could do it, Tooru. Tan orgulloso de ti."

Tooru's hand reached for your thigh and squeezed it, nonverbally thanking you for the support. And it stayed there for hours, through the talks about his life in Japan and about his friends, until you fell asleep through the drive. And you shall know though, many years from now, that it's the most peaceful drive Tooru had in his life, with you just slumbering away while he drove across the country.

Nothing much to do in Mar del Plata other than being in their practices and on the actual match later that week, professional volleyball player Oikawa Tooru on full display. When in court, you can see his glow, brighter than how the sunshine reflects on his face every morning when he cuddles you after a steamy fuck the night before. Of course, this is his life-goal, and you're just his.. go-to.

You can't help but be sullen whenever the thought hit you. And more so that night out after the game with the other team.

The other team, you discovered, were on friendly terms with Tooru's team for years and both of you are new to them so basically, you're the center of attention tonight.

"Tooru, si? How's CA San Juan?"

"They're exceptional."

"Have you been always a setter?"

"Yes, since middle school."

"Why Argentinean League?"

Evading conflicts. "Wanna go against certain players in the future as national players."

You leaned your head at his shoulder as he offered that white lie to them, fiddling with your phone. The teams jeered at how Tooru answered it and encouraged him more on being a national player. You smiled, but dropped almost immediately when the captain of the other team raised the question.

"Who is she? Your girlfriend?"

Tooru turned his head to you, peeked through your lashes and you smiled, "No." You leaned away from him almost immediately as you answered. And Tooru stared at you at the rest of the night, silent, even through the drive home the day after.

There was nothing wrong with how you answered the question, right? You're just stating facts. You're not clearly his girlfriend, because clearly he's not yet over Ran, his love of his life. You peeled your eyes from his pheripherals. You can't let Tooru see how your eyes saddened.

And sadness and nausea pulled you to sleep.

"ーIwa-chan. She's.. I don't knowー"

"You're clearly making her a rebound, Shittykawa."

"No."

"Don't confuse yourself. Don't hurt her in expense of your comfort."

"I'm not, Hajime, IーI can drop everything I worked hard, for her, to stay with her."

"ARE YOU NUTS!?"

"Nー"

"THAT'S THE GOAL OF YOUR LIFETIME, SINCE PRIMARY AND YOU'RE GONNA DROP IT!?"

"Tone down. She might hear you, she's just sleeping."

"What the fuck, YOU'RE CRAZY!"

"I can'tーHajime, not her. Not again."

"YOU'RE JUST SEEING TSUKISHIMA RAN IN HER!"

"Tsk. If you can't drop your tone down, I'm ending the call."

"THEN END IT I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU! YOU'RE FRUSTRATING! THAT'S OUR GOAL AND YOU'RE JUST GONNAー"

You heard him huff, clearly frustrated of his bestfriend and you noticed he sped up to the last stretch to town. He didn't notice you were awake, good, because you don't know how to react to that conversation.

Your attention was on your belly and a tear escaped from your eyes. You swallowed hard as you waited patiently to be on the confines of your home.

Tooru barged in your room on a weekend after the Mar del Plata trip, catching you barfing on your bathroom sink. "Bad pasta." You had said to reassure him, smiling over your shoulder. He rubbed your back after he had gone to get you a glass of water.

You had to inform him of your college plans out of the country. You knew it was sudden, but you needed this. And maybe now's the best time, considering he might've seen the luggages all around your room.

"Tooru." You called his attention while wiping your face. Damn, bad pasta. "I'll be going to Rio de Janeiro for college in the fall." No brakes, just go straight ahead, Y/n. If you get caught up, it'll destroy you both.

And you had to veer your eyes away from his, offering a smile you don't know if it's sincere or no.

"Y/n?"

"I have been planning this even before you came." Go on, Y/n.

"Can I come with you?"

You shook your head, smile still plastered at your face as you turn to him. "No, Tooru. You'll be getting your citizenship soon and the team needs their fresh setter."

"How about your parents?"

"They'll be staying in the country, but they're going back to Rio Gallegos."

His eyes went wild, searching for something in your eyes. Is it panic that you're seeing? You suddenly felt bad. You just wanted to be in his room, in his arms, like last week, like the weeks, months before that.

"The bistro?"

"Will be turned over to Tiá Carmellita."

"Y/n, you're leaving me."

Osamu's was the name right? words that night in the bistro slammed to you like a trailer truck. You took Tooru's hand and kissed it. "I'll be back before you know it. First, you have to make your dreams come true here, in San Juan, okay?"

Tooru's head was swimming on a pool of oil or tar where he can't get out of. Seeing you packing, the thoughts of you leaving is plaguing him like locusts. And he can't say anything, clearly baffled of what's happening in front of him, and on inside of him. What's happening to him?

He got his own taste of medicine, getting left for their own goals. And you, of all people, is doing that to him, makes the pain doubling him over to the edge of sanity. But he's confused. Why is he feeling this for you?

But you'll come back, right? Yeah, you'll come back. Nothing to be worried about.

Though, he still rushed to the airport to see you one last time for the promised four years of being away. And that too, he failed to do, and without knowing you waited two hours for him to come by, guessing you're not that important to him, and it's still volleyball Tooru's prioritizing. And definitely, you couldn't hold onto what he said to his bestfriend over the phone. And he said to keep in touch, but you have no plans to.

Being with him is dangerous for you, and for the little growing pasta inside of you.

You're cradling your little bundle of joy of a three-month-old to sleep as you heard a knock on your door. Must be the food delivery, your mouth instantly watered and you rushed for the door.

You were greeted by an orange-haired man, all dressed like the usual delivery man of your favorite restaurant nearby. Though, you were familiar of him for he had moved two apartments down your unit and.. he's clearly Japanese.

"Thank you, Shoyo. Come in and get the money in that table." You nudged your chin to the high table beside your mirror just off the sala.

"Seu bebê está dormindo, Y/n?"

"About to." And you turned to face your baby to Shoyo, and he instantly cooed and poked her fluffy cheeks.

"Adeus Thalia~"

"Adeus Tió Shoyo~"

And he's about to go out the door when you called out to him. "Shoyo, relax, you'll gonna be fine." Because you noticed him in his first month that he's nowhere okay, probably missing home like that achingly familiar guy. Shoyo nodded at you, lips quivering and bowed, clutching the strap of his delivery bag. When he was gone, you sighed deeply thinking you're seriously plagued with Japanese neighbors.

The days went by and you decided to expose your baby to the sunshine and to people. You just hope she'll be a good pasta out there, hoping she's as sociable as her father. And you were thankful that she is, as she flapped her fat arms to passerbys as you head for the beach. You remembered Shoyo and his friends are lounging here when they got nothing to do, except for Pedro that's probably cooped up on his room.

But suddenly, Thalia went rigid in your arms and after three months of taking care of this cute pasta, you knew what was happening as she started getting whiny and whimpering. You kissed her cheeks and turned back to your apartment. And that's when you heard it..

"Oikawa-san!"

"ChibiーAh! Shoyo!"

Your breath went suddenly restricted, you feel your feet wobbled you held on tight to Thalia, forcing your steps towards the path to your apartment.

"What are you doing here Oikawa-san?"

"Uh, that's my question, thanks. Don't steal it."

Faster, Y/n. Before he notices you and your crying pasta. Fuck. What are the odds. WHAT ARE THE ODDS!

"Y/n?"

You froze and looked up, the captain of Tooru's volleyball team staring down at you, surprised. He might've seen your watery eyes and silent plead because he suddenly nodded and just went on like he didn't see you. But seeing Thalia.. You silently battered yourself in your thoughts for being so dumb. You should've known!

You were crying hard as you changed Thalia's diapers, and she's crying with you as you rock her, kissing her head. It was just his voice, but it has already this big of an effect on you. You missed him, so bad, but you can't destroy the ones that you love.

And he's just seeing Ran in you.. you can't indulge in him anymore. You're thankful for Thalia, butー

You froze as you heard a knock, your fear of him taking over.

"W-who is it?" You squeaked as you took a look at your peephole.

"It's me. Pedro." You sighed, but not near to be relax. You opened your door and let Pedro in.

"Você está bem? Your eyes areー"

You placed Thalia in her cot as she got tired of crying and now is sleeping. "I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Uh, just heard Thalia's cries, thought you might need some help?"

You quickly wiped a tear fallen to your cheeks, "Nope. Thank you. Shoyo? Is he home?"

He paced to your dining, and you just noticed the plastic bag on his hand as he placed it on the table. "Nope. But he sent this for you. He also sent for me, too. So.." He studied you for a minute and let his thoughts go, "Eu deveria estar indo. Knock when you need help, okay?"

You nodded as you smiled at him. You wanted to say you wanted to leave Rio, leave a place again just to be away from him completely. You exasperatedly closed your eyes, rubbed your forehead on all the things you're already planning, then your eyes flew to your sleeping pasta.

For Thalia. You'll endure anything.

You just hope he'll be gone after a few days. He should go after a few days. And within that wait, you'll be staying in your apartment. Thalia's exposure to the sun and to the public can wait, just for a few days.

And Tooru was conflicted on being in Rio, to where you said you will be. You haven't contacted him for over a year already, and it's bothering him to the core, much more bothered now than finding out that Ran got twins. He just wanted to see you, be with you, but how can he be with you if he can't even reach you?

And he saw Shoyo instead, glad and might be a little terrified at the evolution he's showcasing Tooru. But still a little clumsy as he said he lost his wallet, so he treated him dinner, and his friends. He told him there's this woman with a newborn in his neighborhood and when Shoyo decided to part his dinner with her, Tooru just ordered a few more for her, without knowing it was you.

He wasn't expecting to see you though, after a year of no contact he thought he was ghosted, just left behind with no traces. But a few years from now, he'll realize he had left a big part of him on you.

"You're kidding me."

Osamu gasp at something Tooru can't figure out from across the table. Shoyo was between the Miya Twins and they're looking at something on his phone. On times he got scared of Osamu, it was always related to Ran, the last one being 7 years ago at a haunting bistro off the streets of San Juan.

Tooru was shocked, as every athlete inside the joint restaurant of Moon and Onigiri Miya in Shibuya crossing, when Osamu grabbed Tooru's collar from across the table.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Tooru?"

"What is your problem now?"

Osamu snatched Shoyo's phone and shoved it to Tooru's face.

Tooru's eyes were achingly slow to reach the Shoyo's phone screen because of his irritation. He was already sleepy and he just wants to go back to his apartment. But no, the heavens have other plans.

He saw you in Shoyo's phone, and his shaky hands reached out to hold the phone yourself, wide eyes and tears running down his cheeks as his eyes fixed on a little girl beside you.

"What the fuck, Oikawa."

"What's happening?"

"There's this kid that looks a lot like him."

"And?"

"Osamu?"

"We met her in San Juan, Shoyo. You didn't even thought about that? How dumb can you be?"

"Yeah, boke. But what? A kid?"

"Thalia's 7 years old now."

"Wait till Hajime hears this, Tooru."

"You're one messed up dude, really."

But he's deaf of the judgments around him. His attention was on you, and his probably little girl. No, not probably, he was sure it's his. She has the same chocolate brown hair and eyes.

He smiled through his tears and faced Shoyo who was just staring at him, waiting for him to say something.

"Y/n's that friend that I told you about, with a newborn."

Tooru closed his eyes, he never realized he was already that close to seeing you. Why didn't youー

"She said Thalia's father is just seeing her as someone else so she never told him she was pregnant. And Y/n's too invested in making that man's dreams come true without her, so she decided to escape from his grasp." Shoyo tilted his head on Tooru in brooding annoyance. "You don't destroy the people you love. She would always say that everytime I ask her why won't she go back, but that applies to you too, huh, Oikawa-san. And twice at that."

The place fell silent at Shoyo's words, except for Osamu's whimpers at the familiarity of the quote he once said at that bistro.

Tooru fell back to his chair, Shoyo's phone falling to the table with a loud thud. His composure was like a broken dam and a series of fucks and what the hells were muttered 'round the place.

"Where is she now, Shoyo? She deserves my apology."

Tooru heard Hajime but his cries came flooding on his system. He didn't even realize he loves you this much until now. Oh what irony.

"She's still at the apartment. I can call her if you're both coー"

"Don't. If she knew Tooru's coming, she might evade him again."

"Tooru-oni, stop crying, you look dumb."

Ran's 7-year old son, Takeshi, was previously seating in Kiyoomi's lap and now he's infront of Tooru, offering his hanky to him. Tooru sniffed hard and wiped his tears, and smiled to which Takeshi scrunched up his nose. So much like his mother. He took the hanky from his little hands and kissed his head. Takeshi made way to Tooru's lap and sat there, cringing at how Tooru blew his nose.

But Tooru hugged Takeshi, kissing his head more, to which Osamu rubbed his face exasperatedly and walked out. "'Keshi, you'll be staying with me tonight just until mama's home, okay?"

"Haiii~"

And Tooru felt Hajime's hand on his shoulders, tapping, encouraging him on facing you a week from now.

But by now, you're not afraid of him anymore, instead you're just waiting for him to find you again, like what the fate did seven years ago. And Thalia's ready for his father, too, but Tooru should expect her grumpiness and competitiveness as she had taken it from him.

"Oikawa Tooru, mama?"

"Si, mi amor."

"He's a dangerous volleyball idiot."

And you laughed. Yeah, he's a volleyball idiot, alright. But dangerous? Hm, nope. He's actually soft and a crybaby that you would want to comfort and protect for all eternity.

Estas bien? ー You, okay?

Lo siento por eso ー I'm sorry for that

Gracias ー Thank you

Cariño ー endearment for lover

Por favor ー Please

'ñorito (señorito) ー gentleman, sir, (but yn intended to humor him)

hija ー little girl

mi amor ー my love

Tan orgulloso de ti ー so proud of you

Seu bebê está dormindo? ー your baby is sleeping?

Adeus ー bye

Você está bem? ー are you okay?

Eu deveria estar indo ー I should be going

Semi Eita | Sugawara Koushi | Kuroo Tetsurou | Akaashi Keiji | Sakusa Kiyoomi | Kageyama Tobio | Miya Osamu

Reblogs and interactions are appreciated. Theories will be entertained. Cassie 2023.

[misslavenderlady]

A Little Bit Country, A Little Bit Rock ‘N Roll - Chapter 14.5

Summary: We pick up in that special scene of chapter 14. Michael and David consummate their relationship under a starry night sky~

Please read the previous chapters of my series before this!!

WARNINGS: N.s.f.w./Smut/18+ Readers Only, kissing/making out, undressing, teasing, handjob, oral, anal fingering, semi-public sex, anal sex, riding/cowboy position, love making, post-sex cuddling, smoking

Chapter 14 Chapter 15

"David," he sighed out, breathless and lightheaded with lust. 

"Michael."

"How about instead of singing about that kinda stuff-" Michael started, eyes hazy as he traveled his finger across David's chest. "you show me instead."

Never in his life, both living and undead, did David ever want something so bad. This was happening, and he'd never been happier. That feeling only grew stronger as he pulled Michael back in for a kiss.

All the while, the fire crackled as the light dimmed. Forgotten as the lovers focused on only each other.

David felt a deep growl vibrate in his throat and chest as Michael tugged at his jacket, fiercely impatient at how many layers were keeping them apart. Though for a moment he worried he let his human mask slip with the sound, Michael only showed delight rather than fear.

"Frisky boy~" he chuckled, pulling away from David's lips so that he could focus his kisses on his jaw and neck. 

The way Michael's rough stubble contrasted with the softness of his full lips felt wonderful on his chilled skin. 

He wanted Michael. He wanted to go completely feral. Claws ripping off their clothes before fiercely going at it like animals. For vampires, they could be quite needy when it came to the pleasure shared with their mates. Still, they were never greedy, always making sure their partner was satisfied. They had all the time in the world to enjoy one another. To provide for their needs.

That was the only thought in David's head. Making Michael feel pure, hot pleasure. 

"Kiss me, baby," David purred, helping Michael finish tugging off his T-shirt before grabbing at the human's clothing. "Fuckin' need to kiss you again. C'mere~"

Michael let out a shaky sigh as the cool, night air hit the bare skin of his chest. Even with the temperature of the wind, he wouldn't be cold tonight. Not with the warmth of the fire and the heat of being embraced by David keeping him safe. 

David pulled at Michael's hips, coaxing him into moving on his lap more. The body heat Michael carried as a human was intoxicating. All that blood rushing through his veins, driving his senses wild. He could feel very clearly just where most of it was rushing to. Michael’s hands ran through his platinum streaks of hair, eager to feel more of him with each kiss. The racing thumps of his heart were the perfect background music to David’s ears. 

"D-David~" 

"Yes?"

"Fuck, I'm so turned on right now…."

Boy, did that do wonders to the vampire's ego. Having a handsome, blue-eyed, tanned farm hunk all riled up while perched on his lap was like a dream come true. A smirk stretched across his face as he traced the lines of Michael's muscles chest and down over his abs. 

"Oh? Is that right~?"

"Y-Yes," Michael sighed, eyes fluttering as David's hand trailed lower and lower down his body. "I'm harder than a damn rock."

He wasn't exaggerating about that. The front of his jeans was poking outward, showing off a rather impressive size to the blond. David was practicing salivating at the sight. 

"Well, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you struggle with that?" he smirked. David gently pushed Michael off of his lap so that he could guide him down onto his back. Michael let out a soft sigh as he lay against the plush fabric of the blanket he had been on before. 

He and David weren't separated for long, as his lover had his lips on his skin once again. Hungry kisses peppered along Michael's chiseled body. Every inch of his strong jaw, firm chest, and toned stomach was spoiled by the teasing touch David gave him. 

Michael deserved a thousand kisses. A million. No matter the number, David would most certainly provide. 

Slender fingers swiftly worked to unbuckle Michael's belt and tug the denim jeans down. The moment Michael's bottoms were pulled away, his cock sprang to attention, causing him to moan out in relief. 

"My my~" David said, already feeling a new wave of hunger take over his body. "Do I dare make the joke?”

Michael tilted his head in confusion.

“Joke?”

“You being hung like a hor-”

“Oh my god, shut up, you dork,” he snickered, covering his face with a hand to hide the embarrassed smile and red glow on his cheeks. 

“Well if you insist~”

Despite the playful banter, David didn’t want such a moment to be all jokes. He wanted to show how serious he was about giving pleasure to the boy he cared so deeply for. Warm kisses traveled down Michael’s happy trail before making their way across the throbbing manhood. Michael shivered under him, trying to get used to the sensation. All the while, David’s tongue took over, gliding along the length, finding a path over it and up to the tip. 

Should the day come when Michael learned what he truly was, David would have to test the skills of his serpentine tongue. That would certainly have the human seeing stars. 

But such a day could wait. He was more than capable of pleasuring his lover in his human disguise. Lips wrapped around the thick tip, sucking gently as his chilled hands wrapped around Michael’s bare legs. David tugged them forward, allowing them to slip over his shoulders while he continued his work.

“H-Holy…holy shit..~” Michael sighed. His eyes fluttered shut and his head tilted backward while David slowly sucked down each inch of his cock. “F-Fuck, that feels amazing~”

"Mmmm…. only the best for you, Michael~" David cooed after releasing the length from his mouth. He was quick to get back to work, pressing a kiss to the tip before swallowing the rest of Michael's cock down once again. 

The human boy couldn't keep his hands to himself. His calloused fingers found their way into David's platinum hair, grabbing onto the strands as a way to encourage his movements more. It made David all too eager to keep it up. 

"Oh f-fuck!" he whimpered. “D-David…ooh…p-please”

David hummed in delight, moving his head up and down at the pace that got Michael going the most. His hands greedily pawed at Michael’s hips and down to his thighs, tenderly rubbing the soft, warm flesh. Feeling them squeeze around his head every time he slid his tongue across Michael’s cock was a divine sensation.

“What do you need, beloved?” David asked, freeing his mouth once again to speak.

“Need….you”

“You’ve got me, Michael~”

“C’mon, huckleberry, you know what I mean!”

David couldn’t help but smile at the pout on Michael’s face. Such a soft expression on such a ruggedly handsome face was far too precious in his eyes. 

“Oh, but Michael, it’s so much better to hear you say it.”

He pulled himself away just for a moment to move back up some more, meeting Michael’s eye level. The teasing smirk melted into a sincere, adoring smile as he brushed his hand over Michael’s cheek and under his chin. He couldn’t get over how positively stunning the boy was.

“Please tell me what you want. I need to know how I can make you feel good.”

“David…I wanna…I really want to have sex with you.”

Despite how much experience the vampire had gained over the decades with the occasional human one-night stand, he couldn’t deny the rush he got hearing Michael show his interest. Everything was still so new for them. So fragile, and at risk of coming apart if they didn’t work things out together. 

And yet, it felt right. He knew this was what he wanted too. 

“Oh, Michael,” David sighed, leaning down to kiss him once again. Michael didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. David could feel the smile on his lips as their mouths moved together.

If they were going to do this, then they were going to do it right. Even with his attention focused on embracing Michael, he was still able to grab his coat that had been shed before. His hands fumbled around in one of the pockets, searching for something important that one of his boys had given him for the first date he had with Michael. A condom and a small bottle of lube.

I owe you big time for this, Paul, David thought to himself. 

One hand was all he needed to pop open the bottle and coat his fingers with the liquid. Warm spread over his skin, perfect for covering up the colder sensation of his body. 

“Shall I?”

“Hell yeah~” Michael smiled, spreading his legs open a bit more.

Even with the lack of action for quite some time, Michael felt that he was in very good hands with David. And speaking of which, his hands worked such magic on his body. The stretch of his fingers inside didn’t hurt, but rather added to his pleasure, massaging and preparing him for what was to come. 

Michael couldn’t have been happier. It was like being drunk. All giddy and lightheaded and eager for more. It was just always such a good time when he was with David. And all he wanted was to keep the fun going. 

“Allow me, handsome~”

Taking a more direct approach was all Michael had in mind as he gently encouraged David to stop so he could move the both of them. Being extra careful and slow with his movements, he helped switch their positions so David was the one on his back. He knew how sensitive the blond was about the marks on his back, so he was determined to be gentle. 

When he saw how relaxed David looked, Michael knew it was al right to keep going. He was more than happy to take the condom from him before helping tug off the last article of clothing David had on. Seeing the full length of David’s cock was enough to make his own length twitch in pleasure.

“Fuck me, you’re a mighty big fella, aintcha?”

Now it was David’s turn to get bashful from the flirting. 

“You hound dog~”

“Takes one to know one,” Michael teased playfully. The smile stayed on his face as he tore open the wrapper to get the condom out. Once he had properly secured it over the length, he could get nice and comfortable. He swung a leg over David’s body, settling on top of his lap, but not quite in position.

There was a moment where the two of them had some clarity. This was going to happen. After being such good friends and becoming boyfriends, they were about to take on a major milestone in their relationship. While they stared at one another, they seemed to mutually understand how big a deal this was for the both of them.

And yet, there was an unspoken agreement of trust and care. The soft smiles they shared were all they needed when words failed. 

They kept their gaze on one another as Michael lowered himself down onto the length.

“Ooooh shit~” he sighed out, slowly letting out a moan while adjusting to the stretch. It had been a while since his ex-boyfriend, the pastor’s son, had messed around with him. Still, that didn’t matter in the slightest. David was the only man he wanted now. He trusted him to make this time extra special. 

Sure enough, David couldn’t keep his hands off of Michael. His hands found their way to his hips again, taking hold of them and keeping Michael steady as he slowly began to move. Pants and grunts fell from the human boy’s pretty lips, but David would let him take all the time he needed to adjust. After all, with how nice and snug his cock felt inside, he was not complaining. 

When Michael seemed more adjusted, he felt more comfortable with moving his hips by himself. His movements were fluid and smooth, riding David just as he would ride on a saddle. A perfect body like his was built for this kind of motion, and he’d use his skill to his advantage.

“Fuck, Michael,” David crooned, his eyes lidded. “You feel amazing~”

“S-So do you..” Michael sighed, still moving as he spoke. 

His hands were pressed against David’s chest, allowing him to both keep steady and touch him some more. Meanwhile, David’s hands were wandering more, grabbing hold of Michael’s ass so he could massage the flesh while pumping into him. That seemed to add fuel to the fire in the passion Michael felt. 

David truly was enjoying the view. Not only was Michael looking more handsome than ever, but the stars in the sky above looked so stunning as the backdrop. He thought about how much adoration Michael had for the view of the stars during their first date. How much he admired the beauty in nature and how he cared for everything about it. 

It warmed his unbeating heart. He was crazy about the guy. 

Michael’s eyes opened for a moment, catching a glimpse of how intensely David was staring up at him. If he wasn’t blushing before, he certainly was now. 

“Kiss me, David,” Michael said. “I wanna kiss ya so bad~”

Propping himself up with the use of his elbows, David was able to sit up straight and bring Michael in close for another kiss. He still kept a hand on Michael’s body but used the other to cup his cheek. Getting to touch Michael as much as he desired was something David would happily take part in. 

Feeling just as eager, Michael wrapped his arms over David’s shoulders. He held on good and tight as he bounced faster now. He could keep a good, fast pace, and he was more than happy to see how naturally David could keep up with him. 

They really were perfect for one another.

With how David’s cock was massaging him, Michael couldn’t hold on for much longer. His moaning was quickly turning into whining as he felt the rush of pleasure approach quickly. He wouldn’t dare let go as he moved, his own cock bouncing and dripping at the tip with precum. It was all so much so fast. He wanted it all more than anything in the world. 

“Michael~” the blond sighed. “Come on, Michael. I want you, baby. Let go for me.”

"Ahh!! F-Fuck~!"

The words spoken to him acted as some kind of spell on Michael. His body was compelled to do as he was told, and it didn’t take long for the blow of orgasm to finally hit him. His muscles contracted and his teeth ground together as shot after shot after shot of cum painted onto both his and David’s stomachs. 

Such a moment was all David needed to get his own release. He gripped Michael tightly as he enjoyed his climax. If Michael didn’t already feel so intoxicatingly warm now, then he certainly did after David finished inside of him. Even with the condom catching the mess, it was all David had wanted and more with his human lover. 

The two of them were absolutely undone. David fell back onto the blanket, sighing while the haze of afterglow began to slip over his mind. Michael was starting to feel the same, so he removed himself from David’s lap before he lost his balance. The condom was tied up and discarded before he joined the blond in the cozy spot.

“That was some wild ride! You really are a cowboy, aren’t you~?” David snickered. 

“Well the hat ain’t for show after all~” Michael teased, reaching for one of the quilts David had brought along for their trip. He evenly spread it over them while David reached back into his jacket for a cigarette and his lighter. After something so intense, he definitely needed a smoke.

The two of them were consumed by their bliss. Still naked under their blankets and cozied up together as they passed the smoke back and forth to take turns. The flames of the fire were still going strong, acting as the perfect backdrop for their romantic embrace. 

“That really was perfect, David,” Michael sighed, resting his head on the blond’s shoulder. 

“I couldn’t agree more, Michael,” he said, wrapping his free arm around the brunet’s body. 

Things truly couldn’t have been better. There was a real, honest connection between the two of them, and now they were bonded in a special way. No matter what, nothing would change that. As they continued to watch the fire, they made silent promises to enjoy the memory of tonight as much as possible.

Tag List:

@silvermaplealder @michael-after-hours @legal-lost-boy @britany1997 @ria-coolgirl @ghoulgeousimmaculate @kurt-nightcrawler @auntvamp @thelostsouls1987 @crustyboypix @thornthehellhound @solobagginses @6lostgirl6 @juss-soupp @bloodsuckingfiends @charlizekkelly @blueberrypancakesworld @queerlittlem0nster @f4iryfxies @oceansrose2002 @american-idiot-jpg @wetpuppets

[thecameronchronicles]

I Owe You

TW: Smut. Language. Sexual blackmail/extortion. Degrading Language. Cheating. 

SUMMARY: Rafe sends you to settle a financial score with his dealer...but you find something worth staying for...

WORD COUNT: 2200

REQUESTED

Can you do a Barry smut where Yn has to pay for rafe dues 

I Owe You

Cursing beneath your breath wouldn't keep you from venturing from the comfort of Figure Eight to the trailer park set on the outskirts of The Cut. Having sat at half of the lights and stop signs with the one-sided argument to simply turn back around, you knew what you would be returning to. To keep from being a reason Rafe bloodied his knuckles in another wall of Tannyhill, you agreed rather quickly to a task he should have had to endure. But with the promise of an afternoon spent shopping without a single whimper from him, it would be enough to send you to settle the debt between him and Barry. 

"Barry" was a figure you had only heard from Rafe's lips. You had never seen him prior to today. And what a way to make a first impression. 

"I'm here for you." You spoke nervously as he stood before you with a towel set around his hips. A surprising Adonis belt drew your eyes beyond his torso and lower still before you were met with his grin. 

"For Rafe." You corrected. 

"This should be enough..." You tossed a small wad of cash on the table as he moved across the trailer and to a small counter harboring a makeshift bar. 

"Never took ‘country club’ for sending his bitches to do things for him." You knew you should have scolded him for the title. But it was true. A promise of shopping, you were certain he'd worm his way out of somehow, and you were getting your hands dirty for him once again. 

"Is it enough?" You asked rather quickly as he took a sip of his amber liquid before taking a leisurely set of steps to only stand before the cash. 

"Sit."

"I have to-" He revealed a pistol from a deeper cavern of the couch, reiterating that his order was not, in any way, a request. 

"That kid has a habit of coming up short with me..." You raised a brow as he found humor in your response. But silence would fill the space as he counted the bills rather swiftly. 

During the time, you assessed him throughout from your peripheral vision. You couldn't help but feel drawn to him in every way you had been advised against. He was prohibited in every way you'd felt pulled with intrigue with Rafe, only without the polished security of his father's influence. Barry was a scrapper through and through. It exhilarated and frightened you to the same depth that pooled between your thighs. 

"Not sure what you know, Mrs Country Club, about supply and demand...but it seems your boyfriend doesn't understand a debt needs to be paid. And he just keeps diggin’ himself a deeper hole there…"

"He said it would be enough.".

"I sure hope for your sake he isn't short in all ways..." You looked to the side, not validating this intentionally, as Rafe was as endowed as he was privileged, but he was selfish where you needed the attention you gave. 

"Maybe we could work something out..." He pulled the gun back to view. 

"A compromise?" You swallowed hard. "A bit of...demand to the supply he takes advantage of?" 

"Wh-what do you want?"

"Strip." Your eyes flashed to the direction of the front door as you looked back at him. 

"Anyone sees you, they'll just think you're some pretty little coke head needing your fix. Nobody will think twice...wouldn't dare say anything because then they'd have to admit why they were here." He reclined further back on the couch. 

"If I have to say it again, you won't like where this gun ends up." Your heart nearly leaped from your chest at the remark. Your mind ran wild to what it was he could reference. The more sexual of options validated by the carefully crafted smirk visible from his lips. 

"All those assholes on that side of the island get to have all the pretty things around just handed to them without lifting a finger. Bet he doesn't even know how to make you come without getting off first." You blushed to your sex life broadcast by deduction alone. 

" Girls with manicures should never have to masturbate." He suddenly moved closer to you. 

"Sit." He instructed as he tapped his leg. You sat crossed legged on his knee as he kept his gun at your hip, his second hand at the buttons of your sweater. 

"But I'd bet that's the only way you get to feel anything that you don't have to wait for. So I'll give you a choice for me here..." 

Your eyes focused on his deep chocolate irises, swallowing you whole, and making you already agreeable before he gave either condition or alternative. 

"You can let me use you to send ‘country club’ a lesson..."

"O-or?"

"Or you find a way to make up the difference...fifteen hundred dollars difference." Your eyes widened to just what Rafe had purchased where that was of cash had still lacked such an amount. 

"Didn't think I'd notice that...but he knew I'd notice you. Hoping sending you would make me forgive him...but it seems to me you need to be taken care of too...So..." He pulled your hair over your shoulder before leading the tip of the gun to your chest, teasing the remaining buttons. 

"Should we send Rafe a message? Teach him a lesson about supply and demand-" The way you'd kept yourself at bay and broken as a bough of water. The dam of forbidden desire set forth as you ran your hands through his hair to unintentionally dishevel his ponytail constructed as you'd entered. 

A smirk broke the kiss for a moment before you were taken over him in a straddle. 

"Not sure what he's doing but I'll take care of you...You might even want to stay." He scoffed as you moved back against him. Only now it had been in purposeful glides over his cock. 

"I remember asking you to strip..." He took a sudden hold of your shirt, tearing it directly down the center and tossing it away. 

"I'm not patient." 

"I'm not either." You confessed while lifting yourself enough to take hold of the knot made of his towel to keep himself concealed. But instead, he took hold of your wrist. 

"If your expecting me to take you out to dinner or some shit-" 

"I'm expecting you to send him a message." He grinned. 

"You're more agreeable than I thought you'd be..." His words confused you for only a moment before the feeling of his naked cock made you tense over him. 

"Condom." He reminded you as you were used to being bare for Rafe. 

"Where?"

"You don't have one? I'd have thought country club always needed to fuck you..."

"He prefers when he doesn't have to wear one."

"I don't have an interest in you roping me into anything here..."

"I'm on the pill..." 

"Then if he gets to have you like that-" You were suddenly guided to take his cock. 

"So do I." A hand to the back of your neck guided you over his lap for only a minute as he grinned. 

"You feel better than I thought." He snarled before taking your lips once again. Only now, it had been deep enough to taste the whiskey on his breath and long enough to feel his change of breath as he brought you harder against him. 

"How does he like to try and make you come?"

"Behind." You were suddenly arranged this way. Ass projected against his hips as you were in reliance on the grip made of your shoulder and the arm of the couch itself. 

"Does it feel the same?"

"No-"

"Why's that? Tell me..."

You could only moan. 

"Am I bigger?" 

You nodded, nails at a threat to tear into the fabric beneath you. 

"Am I better?"

"Yes..." He pulled you to his chest, his breath hit against your ear as you felt him make a path to your breasts. 

"He takes you for granted?" You bobbed your head. 

"If I make you come on my couch...think you can make me come inside so you can go back to him, make our little point?"

"Please..." He nodded, the gun set on the table as your eyes rolled in relief. A momentary trust was established as he stationed that second hand to your quivering clit. 

"Spit." He orchestrated as he lifted two fingers to you. 

"Just so I know you want it."

"You can't tell?" 

"I want to know you'll do anything I ask. Just like you would for him. Coming here to pay his debt...although...I'd take this pussy over cash anyway...and that says something about it .." he playfully slapped your sopping lower lips. 

"Please, Barry..."

"You wanna come?" He almost teased as you nodded. 

"Then you can come...but only if you get on your knees just like you would for him." You rested your head against his shoulder as he was gluttonous for your body. 

"You should be covered in hickies and scratches...don't worry ..I'll leave my mark." He explained while kissing and sucking on any exposed skin he could reach, as his hands accommodated what was lower until he came to a rest at your clit. 

"Oh my God!" 

"Want them to hear you back home?" He huffed as you nodded. 

"I don't care!"

"Bit desperate? Don't worry girl, I'll fuck you just right. Send you back to him with instructions written clearly on ya...leave part of you here? Maybe your panties? More than just cum...it dries too quickly..."

"Then make me cum twice!" You whined as he scoffed. 

"Greedy little whore...you get what I give. Need to learn more about the supply than the demand." He withdrew as you groaned. 

"Knees." You obliged, taking position before holding your hair back. 

"I'm supplying the hold of your hair. And you demand my cock to come. I know those pretty lips have done it before....But this time it's for someone who deserves it." He teased as you were quick to show how you were deserving of it. 

"No wonder he puts up with such an attitude! Fuck!" He breathed deeply. "Best head I've-" You focused on his balls, a stripe made between them as he clenched your hair. You were laid out on the table before the couch, bottles and wrappers compressed and forced to collapse, all while you were penetrated once again. 

"No more teasing. I've gotta come after that little stunt..." 

"Oh?"

"Oh!" You gasped. 

"Lucky for you, I understand giving and receiving too...so you get to come, too." He battered into you in a slow but thorough acceleration. Your body was at the mercy of gravity apprehended by his grip until the sweet from your skin and this effortless. Residual drugs and former payments lay as evidence around you as he cursed your name once bowing in those final thrusts. 

"Say my name. Gotta know you're well aware whose cum is about to run doewnthose pretty little thighs.'

"Barry!!" You belted into a gasp as he drew the perfect collection of rushed rubs over your clit that pulled the deeper orgasm from your natural cavern. Ribbons of his cum came to a collision of your cascade of ecstasy as he pulled back from you slightly. 

"Let's get you some water before you go back. Can't have you returning to him dehydrated. God knows you lost a lot." You nodded, half phased by the stars still present behind your eyes, before you were left to dress. 

"We're even now." Barry's phone Illuminated with this message from Rafe. Your curiosity led for you to read the earlier correspondence that set your gut into a twist. 

"Rafe-"

"Offered you as collateral...yes...Didn't expect you to be so...compliant..."

Tears filled your eyes to the betrayal and broken trust. Even if Rafe wasn't your true love or even a love, he was still someone you trusted to some degree. 

"Shit..." Barry realized the depth of this hurt. 

"How about I make you a deal-" 

"I don't want anything from you-" you shit, disgusted with the touch you craved just moments before. 

"An I-owe-you...however...whenever you want...a favor...any time..." He slipped Rafe's money back into your hand. 

"What are you doing?".

"Can't put a price on how you felt, I will take these though..." He explained while leading your panties into his grasp. 

"For proof."

As he disappeared into a back room, you couldn't help but feel confused. Buzzing from peace he'd brought in that kind blowing orgasm. But also the pain from the betrayal. No reason to go back but every reason in morality reminding you that you couldn't stay. And yet at the sound of his steps returning, the sight of the money you’d taken from Rafe’s payment had fallen from the back pocket of your jacket you’d arrived with. Having been successful as to what it was you’d truly come here for…

"Too drunk on my cock there-" you undressed again, sitting on the table he'd left you on. 

"I'll take that I-owe-you now. I want you to send me back to him completely spent. I want him to know he's lost me."

"And that means I have you then?" You widened your legs so he could see the mess he made you once again. 

"However you want..."

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @drews1love @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916

MASTERLIST

[echantedtoon]

Househusband Upper Moons: Kokushibo

(This is inspired by @rottencoreflesh101's Househusband Upper Moon posts. (Warnings: Their blog does contain NSFW elements and themes that not everyone may like or be comfortable with AND is only for 18+ folks. Just a heads up. But this WILL STAY Sfw.) I did link to the post in question down below. If enough people like househusband Kokupuffs drabble I'll do a second one based on their headcannons of Househusband Gyutaro. This is probably not gonna be very long and it's from the perspective of a female reader.

Househusband Upper Moons Concept- @rottencoreflesh101

Demon Slayer- Koyoharu Gotouge

Original Post:

The thunderstorm I'm the distance between the roof and sky haunted the eardrums as the storm drew ever closer in the darkness.

There truly was nothing but the warmth of the small fireplace within the cozy small house in the middle of the woods. A cozy small hideaway nobody knew about but himself and a select few individuals. It would shield him well from the harsh elements and keep him safe and sound from the outside. It was his own little safe haven. Just himself to worry about now.

The bubbling pot of soup on the stove wafted in waves making even the most stuffed person desire to eat it as he smelt it. A hum of satisfaction left his throat as he nodded and let go off the soup ladder after stirring it a few times. This would surely last a few days. Cooking enough food to last a few days was always good. Having leftovers only meant you didn't have to cook over a hot stove for a good while. It left time to focus on other things. Speaking of other things- Multiple eyes turned to the door as thunder drew ever closer and closer judging by the sounds in the distance. Now where was she?

She should arrive back any minute now. After all her workplace wasn't that far from here, and it was simply only a matter of walking and returning to the home. Strong hands wiped themselves on a nearby cloth he slipped from the countertop and removed the remains of elk blood from his hands. The rest of the body that couldn't be used would have to be disposed of later otherwise wild animals would be coming up to the house and wondering the garden and animals. No. He couldn't have that. A fox already made off with one of his wife's chickens she'd be upset if it happened again. As if on cue, his head immediately perked up at the distant sounds of approaching footsteps small and dainty. A smile grazed his mouth and his head turned to the door in wait as the footsteps approached closer and closer. The door slid open after the footsteps paused a brief moment outside of the house.

"Ah. Welcome home little lamb," a man's voice greeted smiling widely at the figure of the woman walking inside. "You've arrived...just in time for dinner."

You smiled from the doorway slowly and moving to take off your sandals. Your feet sore from the long walk to town and back where you worked for a company making clothes to then be shipped to various places across the country. Your feet were sore from walking so much, your hands sore from threading the needle for hours, and your body aches with tiredness from a long day. Upon walking into the house your senses were hit with the beautifully delicious smells of meats, fried potatoes, and a few other things. You were only free of your shoes for more than three seconds before someone much larger was standing over you. Six eyes met yours-

A pair of lips met your temples. "How was ...work?"

You smiled up at your husband. Usually someone would be pretty intimidated by a six foot something demon with fangs and six eyes staring down at them so closely like this, but you couldn't see it. Especially when he wore the cloth around his head keeping most of his hair from his face and the large apron drapped over him. He looked very alluring and domestic. 

"It was business as usual. Im sure I pricked my finger more times in one day than you've swing a sword in your entire lifetime."

"I doubt that." 

"Smells good. What's for dinner?"

"Elk stew. ..I caught it just early this morning." Ah. Most likely when the sun wasn't up yet and you were still asleep. A strong arm pulled you forward into the house and the door was closed. "Eat. Your body's strength... needs to replenished with rest also."

You didn't fight it and only leaned into his touch. "Sounds great. Aren't you hungry though?"

"My hunger shall be... quenched within an hour." Which translated to him waiting for sunset to hunt for his normal food source. "Did you...have a pleasant day?"

You nodded sighing. "Just a bit tired. Big orders means lots of work, but it's my fingers that really hurt." Your hands flexed as you pouted remembering all the times you pricked yourself today. 

A much larger hand grabbed the smaller one bringing it to the demon's eyes. Six orbs examined them closely before a gentle kiss was placed onto the skin. "If your hands are sore....then I just might..have to feed you..myself."

"N-No you don't." Despite it he chuckled deeply and making your own face red. "I can still take care of myself."

"If you insist...Now sit and rest... Your body needs it."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for kicking someone out of my D&D campaign for reasons not entirely related to the game?

This is long but the context is important I swear.

About a year ago, I (30X) tried to assemble a D&D group with my coworkers. After a whole lot of fucking around, the guy who was going to DM moving across the country, and a bunch of people quitting or getting fired, it ended up being me as the DM, my brother, a few other people who I met through a different campaign, and one guy who used to work with me.

This guy, J (23M), had a lot of personal problems when he worked for us, most of which contributed to him being let go. He had a lot of family issues that led to him missing a lot of work (and I mean A Lot. We have a Very good PTO system for the US that basically amounts to accruing one day off for every 50 hours you work, earning more the longer you stay with the company, and more allowance for attendance infractions than any company I've ever heard of in the states). He also had a lot of interpersonal issues with some of the employees, one in particular, K (21F), with whom he had some kind of situationship. I try not to get involved in work drama, so I don't know all the details.

J also has issues with money, transportation, and depression/suicidal tendencies. I'm not judging him for any of those, as I have experience with them as well, but he has been leaning on me pretty heavily around every time we hang out to play D&D. I would cover his 120$+ Uber rides home, which he would sometimes pay me back but sometimes not (if I couldn't afford it once a month, I wouldn't do it, but he insists he's going to pay me back; since he has lost yet another job I am not expecting it at all and don't hold it against him really, but I do think it's kind of shitty to insist you're going to when you clearly won't be able to), pay for his food, work with my family members to get him home, and let him crash at my house to avoid ordering an Uber. He also messaged me when he was feeling suicidal - bad enough to be institutionalized after I sent him the number for the suicide hotline. Again, no judgement, but it made me uncomfortable because I struggle with the same things. He seemed bothered that I told him I wasn't able to talk him through it, but that may have just been the crisis talking.

After all that, we come to a game session that involves more than just navigating dangerous spaces and fighting off wild animals. The rest of the party does fine, but J really botches the social interaction part, despite everyone telling him what he's doing is a bad idea and me doing my best as a DM to communicate that he should change tactics. He does not change tactics and instead doubles down and goes full murderhobo, which is not the kind of player I'm interested in playing with, something I thought J understood from previous conversations.

My original plan was to say something to the table at our next session about removing themselves from the game if the themes weren't something they were interested in engaging with, but then I get some additional info today about J and K.

Apparently J has been incredibly possessive towards K - someone who, again, he was not dating in any meaningful capacity - for weeks or months, to the point that she has blocked him on social media off and on. And then this past week, J has sent her screenshots of her location, contacted her ex who she still lives with for logistical reasons, made him upset to the point that K thought he was going to kick her out of his apartment, and harassed K's brother to try to get her to talk to him again. K is seriously considering taking out a restraining order against him at this point. J has also been updating his social media to imply that he is going to kill himself.

To say this behavior raises some red flags is an understatement. Clearly J needs help, but as a regular guy, that's really not something I'm able to provide beyond sending mental health hotlines, and I don't feel comfortable being his support system in the way he obviously needs.

All that said, I feel like I might be an asshole for kicking him out of the campaign full stop, because he's been really excited to play this whole time. But the combination of all this really worrisome, potentially dangerous behavior and the mundane reality of him just being a really annoying player kind of has me at my wits end, so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[directionernullneun]

Part 1 - The Surprise

I wrote something again and I felt like putting it out for you. :) English is not my first language, so I'm sorry for mistakes. This is technically a part one because I have a lot more written for these two, so if someone wants me to continue pleaser say so. :) It does get steamy after this. ;)

Warnings: Nothing, just major fluff

Pairing: Reader x Idol!Jungkook

Summary: You're busy working, when a special someone - aka you boyfriend - makes a surprise appearance.

Cursiv - Italien; Bold - Korean

________________________________________________

„Have you seen it? Jungkook and her being all over Town?”

“Yeah. I was really surprised, they were being out in the open like that.”

“Same. But they looked, like they had fun. Really carefree.”

“They looked in love.”

________________________________________________

It’s Wednesday and you are stressed. The Café you are working in is packed with people, some already eating the cute baked goods your boss still bakes all by herself in her little kitchen. Others waiting to get their orders placed at the table, and some (a lot) still standing in line to grab their wishes To Go.

“Here you go. Have a nice day”, you say, as you push another Cappuccino in a papercup over the counter. The next Customer is already lined up and you throw him a quick smile before tacking his order and turning around to prepare it. Putting the Cup under the Machine you hear rustling on the other side of the counter but choose to ignore it. Your Co-Workers can keep all these people in check, while you’ve got your hands full with serving. But when you turn around and put the coffee on the counter, you know exactly why there was a sudden shift in mood.

“Hi. Missed me?”

Your eyes start to water, your mouth hangs open the second you spot him across from you. He should not be here, not in your café and most definitely not in your country or even on your continent. 

“What the hell...”, you mutter. You can’t move, even though he already started chuckling softly because of you reaction. “What are you doing here?”, you ask as a single tear rolls down your face. Your hands are shaking, and you feel like you just stepped in a movie.

“Surprise. Hug me?”, he says, still smiling, while biting his damn lip ring. He knows exactly what that is doing to you, but you can’t stop yourself from smiling. He really is here! Pushing yourself around the counter you make your way over to your boyfriend and fling your arms around his hips. His smell engulfs you and the tears are flowing freely, as he hugs you tight to him. He gives you a kiss to the head, before inhaling deeply. “God, really missed you.”

“Missed you too. A lot”, you say, between sniffles. As you slowly unwrap yourself from him you realize that he REALLY should not be here. Hugging you. In Public. You start looking around, seeing the faces of people who enjoy the heartwarming display of two lovers reuniting. But you also see the faces of a young group of friends, with knowing looks. “Jungkook, i don’t think this was wise. They’ll recognize you”, you say, grabbing his hand and dragging him behind the counter and into the – thankfully – empty breakroom. Closing the door, you turn around and take him in for the first time.

His hair is wild on his head, his black shirt hugging his torso just the way you like it, and the black cargo pants and biker boots make him look so delicious. He smirks at your gaze wandering up and down, walking over to you and putting his hands on your hips. “Give me a kiss, before you scold me for turning up unannounced?”, he pleads. You chuckle, because how could you say no to that? 

Putting your hand behind his neck and into his hair, you pull him down until you feel his lips on yours. God, you’ve been waiting six whole weeks for this feeling. He kisses you, like he is feeling the same, soft but passionate. His hands circle around your waist, one grazing your ass, the other one between your shoulders. Minutes tick by until you must come up for air, looking into his eyes. You smile. That boy holds every piece of your heart.

“Your shift over in 20 minutes, will you do me the favor of leaving on time and spending the night with me?”, he asks, and you laugh. “Course I will. But you stay here until I’m done, Army is gonna have a field day with this, anyway”, you speak, before giving his hand a squeeze and returning to your job.

________

Falling in love with Jungkook wasn’t something you ever planned on when you met him nearly 4 years ago. You had just started your semester abroad in Germany, interning for an Event-Company, when you were scheduled to work a BTS-Concert. While being more than excited to see them live, the day had been extremely stressful for you. Running errands all day long had given you a major headache. Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine Jungkook of all people to hand you some medicine, after you had been talking to one of their staff about it. With broken English and Hands and Feet had he started the conversation between you two – a conversation that ended in him giving you a mail-address. It took you 3 whole days to come up with something to say and it took 20 minutes for him to reply. 5 months later you got on your first flight to Seoul and came back in a secret relationship with one of the biggest K-Pop-Idols on the planet.

You’ve been wary about giving your heart to him, knowing that he could never fully commit to you, with his job. But you loved seeing him do what he does, and you were in way too deep to stop it. Even his bandmates called it the second they saw you for the first time. You didn’t understand a word of Korean at the time, but you sure as hell could feel the looks, they were giving you. 

Talking to his company a year into your relationship had been scary, but the Press blackmailing you over your boyfriend had been the worst. In the end, there was no other choice then telling the world, that Jungkook of BTS was in love with an Italian student. The Aftermath of that Notification had been crazy. Your private social media accounts getting swamped with follower-requests you never answered, your friends getting texts about you, fans turning up at your university and workplace. Two years later you are used to the looks, the whispers that sometimes follow you, after you brought out an order. But in the end, you were lucky: Armys mostly accepted you and let you live your life in peace, and you kept under the radar, never turning up at official events outside his concerts, not having public accounts and rarely getting pictured together with Jungkook. Him turning up in the middle of a shift would let the internet go crazy.

“Had to give them something to talk about”, he said after you opened the door to your little flat in center of Verona. You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his shoulders. His eyes lit up at that, grinning and attacking you with a full body hug that send you flying on the couch. Laughing, you wiggled your way closer to him, hiding in his big body. 

“I can’t believe you’re here. Or that you actually stay”, you sighed and closed your eyes. You two weren’t supposed to see each other for another two weeks, when you were flying out to Seoul again. But apparently his schedule for the week had to be canceled because of staff being ill and he had taken the next flight out.

“I had to take the chance”, he said, while smiling down at you and hugging you even closer. When you fell asleep it was to the sound of your boyfriend breathing softly into your hair, your hands under his shirt and your heart full. You were going to have the best week together.

[atticssmellgood]

Hi, i'm from brazil and i often find it difficult to identify with the fic reader because they are usually american, could you make a spencer reid x foreign reader? it doesn't necessarily have to be Brazilian, any country is fine. Maybe he meets her at a bookstore in the foreign literature section and they start dating. kisses from brazil.

Call me?

Spencer Reid x Foreign!GN!reader(no specific pronouns)

Summary: Reader bumps into Spencer while looking for a book in the foreign language section.

Warnings: none!

A/N: Thanks so much for your request! I really hope you enjoy this, I tried my best. Let me know what you think! x

You push the glass door open, a bell acknowledging your presence as you step into the small book shop.

The silence enveloped you in an instant, drowning out the hustle and bustle of city life outside. You stand there for a second, reveling in the earthy scent of the old store. Books were laying in stacks that were scattered around the small area, giving the place a disorganized but oddly comforting appearance. Plants and a thin film of dust decorated the various windowsills, further assisting the creation of a homey atmosphere. A tired looking high schooler sat behind the cash register, reading what looked to be a popular YA novel and sipping from a Starbucks cup. She glanced up at you and gave a soft smile before diving back into her reading.

With that, you quietly make your way to the back of the shop, breezing through the aisles with light feet and only stopping when you reach the foreign literature section. You ghosted over some French novels, beginning to get lost in thought as you looked for books printed in Portuguese.

Moving to America had been a bit of a challenge at first, but after spending a couple of years in the country, you found yourself adapting to the culture and language differences with ease.

However, that didn’t stop you from getting homesick every once in a while.

The feeling had become less frequent as time passed but it never went away completely. Sometimes, when you got that sick feeling in your stomach, you would come back to this little shop and buy a book in your own language. You found comfort in seeing the familiar letters printed out on the delicate pages of books. You even read out loud from time to time, if only to hear the words spoken out loud. That’s precisely why you were here today.

Your fingers traced the various spines lining the shelves, your eyes reading the different titles. Russian, German, Spanish. You recognized the words even if you didn’t know what some of them meant. You continue to search, confident you would find something even more interesting than the last one you read. You were too focused on finding the right book to hear the bell on the front door ring, or notice the lanky man making his way towards the same section you were in.

You come across a small book, the title printed in Portuguese. It read; Capitães da Areia

“Captains of the sand, written by Brazilian author Jorge Amado in 1937. Tells the tale of a gang of orphans living on the streets of Bahia with nothing but their wits.”

You jump back at the sudden voice, snapping your head towards the source with wide eyes and clutching the book close to your chest.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you!” The man held his hands up as if he was trying to calm a wild animal.

“It was one of my favorite books when I was younger…” he trailed off, scratching the back of his neck and smiling awkwardly at you.

You laugh a bit. “No, no it’s fine, I can be pretty oblivious sometimes.” You grin back at him, watching as he brushes a lock of messy brown hair out of his eyes. “Thanks for the synopsis though, I don’t think this has a summary on it.” You flip the book over to the back only to find that you were indeed right, it was completely blank.

He laughed at the little frown you gave. “I’m Spencer, by the way.”

“Y/N”

The two of you stare at each other for a minute and you take the silence as an opportunity to survey his appearance.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this man was pretty damn gorgeous.

He was wearing a white dress shirt with a black button-up cardigan and dark slacks, the outfit being pulled together by a deep purple tie. His complexion was sharp, prominent cheekbones and a jawline that could cut diamonds, a stark contrast to his soft brown eyes. His hair was unruly, but it was strangely fitting. A messenger bag was slung across his torso, his hand gripping the strap.

Spencer cleared his throat in an awkward attempt to break the silence, effectively snapping you out of your thoughts.

“So, um, what exactly are you looking for?” You ask, hoping to ease the tension with casual conversation.

He seems to perk up at this “Oh, I was just seeing if they had anything new back here.” He glanced at the shelves and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Last time I was here, I only saw books that I had already read front to back.”

You think for a second before pulling a book from the top shelf and holding it out to him.

“Here, since I’m reading your favorite childhood book, you should read mine. Assuming you know Portuguese, of course.” He takes the book before looking back at you, confused.

“It’s only fair.” You say with a shrug.

Turning back to the shelves, you can’t help but notice the change in atmosphere. The quiet between the two of you is comfortable now. You watch from the corner of your eye as he skims over the different titles, pulling out a new book every few minutes. Every now and then you would catch him looking at you before he quickly turned his gaze back to the shelves.

“So….do you have a last name?” You ask.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you had a last name.”

“Oh, Yeah, It’s Reid.”

“L/N”

Spencer hums and goes back to his searching as you mule over his name in your mind, your lips moving as you silently formed the words.

Once you were satisfied with your book selection, you turn to leave, not wanting to disturb Spencer’s book-hunting. But just as you walk past him, he stops you with a light hand on your arm.

You look back at him.

His face is red, his lips slightly parted as if he wants to say something. You stare into his soft eyes, waiting for him to speak.

The eye contact seems to make him even more flustered, his gaze landing on the hand still on your arm.

“Um- I know we literally just met and we barely even talked and you have no reason to trust me at all and you probably already have a significant other or something-“

“Spencer, slow down, you’re talking way too fast.” You laugh, placing a hand on his.

“right, sorry.” He takes a deep breathe before speaking again.

“What I’m trying to say is- you’re really attractive, and I was wondering if you maybe wanted to go for coffee sometime…?” He asked hesitantly, his eyes finally meeting yours.

You smile and pull out a piece of paper.

“Do you have a pen?” You ask. Spencer digs in his pockets for a writing utensil and hands it to you, his expression puzzled.

You quickly scribble something down before handing the paper to him and promptly leaving to go pay for your books.

Spencer looked down at the slip of paper to find your phone number with a little heart drawn next to it and the message;

Call me?

_________

“You know, the reason coffee wakes people up is due to the fact that caffeine increases adrenaline production.” You and Spencer were sitting across from each other in a small cafe, you listening to him list off the health benefits of coffee.

“Consuming around 2 to 5 cups a day is actually linked to a lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes, heart disease, liver and endometrial cancers, Parkinson’s disease, even depression.” He finishes with a smile and a sip of his black coffee. “I’ll have to keep that in mind then.” You grin in response.

You could honestly listen to his rambling all day. The way his eyes glinted with excitement when he talked about something he finds interesting, it’s one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen.

The date continued like that for a while. He told you he worked for the FBI in the behavioral analysis unit—turns out he’s actually the resident genius there—and you told him about your own job. He listened intently when you told him some of the stories from your childhood, laughing along with you when you told jokes. He insisted you told him more about Brazilian culture and your family back home, asking questions and seeming genuinely intrigued by everything you said.

“I think your accent is really soothing.” Spencer says suddenly. You immediately stopped talking, your face growing hot as you watched his eyes grow wide.

“Sorry! Sorry, I just really like the way your voice sounds.” You could see his face getting red, clearly embarrassed by what he had said.

“Thanks, though I have to admit that’s quite an unusual compliment.” You chuckle, suddenly hyper-aware of your accent. He laughs with you, and you soon get back to the conversation you were having.

You were currently on the topic of his team back at Quantico when his phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket, frowning when he realized what it was.

“I’m really sorry Y/N, I’ve gotta go. We have a new case.” He sighed, grabbing his messenger bag and standing up.

“Don’t worry about it.” You tell him, finishing off the last drop of your coffee that had been cold for a while now. “I should probably get going anyways.”

He smiles and gives you a wave before heading out the door.

You left the cafe feeling lighter than you have in a while, grinning to yourself all the way home.

_____________

Sorry this isn’t really them dating, I can totally make a part 2 if you want! Please let me know🥰

[dadvans]

missing language.

if livejournal posts were still real. this would be it.

i started learning japanese when i was 11 years old, around early summer 2000, from my aunt from okinawa. she would practice with me in the gazebo when she and my uncle would come to visit for family reunions in the midwest, and would continue to buy me tapes, movies, CDs to start learning the language.

my school district was one of the lowest in the country growing up. we had a prestigious japanese immersion charter school, and after a disastrous middle school year, i ended up applying and being accepted. grades four to twelve. each year we were in different (sometimes abandoned or condemned) buildings up until halfway through my freshman year. despite occupying abandoned churches and gymnasiums, we had the highest test scores, and most exclusive college acceptance rates in oregon. it was either that good or that bad. we all hated each other the way family hates each other.

i won my division three years running for the oregon japanese speech contest through my ninth grade year.

i moved to japan two days after my sixteenth birthday. the year and a half that followed was not easy. i had a host family for a period of time that constantly kicked me out, starved me, and found other families for me to live with. i had another family where the host dad tried to molest me twice by taking me to remote locations. when i became fluent, really fluent, around the 6 to 8 month mark (long after i passed the JLPT 3 at the time, which is now closer to JLPT 2), after months of isolating myself in the computers at class to speak english to abroad friends for an hour a day, i told my japanese school friends, and they were horrified. they stepped up in ways i never knew. it wasn't usual for someone to be so forthcoming, and yet they all recognized it as an extreme circumstance, invited me into their inner circle. my home room teachers took notice and would take me out for lunch. my host family situation was codename ONI BABA, and even another family that eventually took me in would refer to her as such, when i asked if i could borrow her koto for a public concert (yeah, the one instrument it turns out i'm a prodigy at is okoto. Played my first concert at a local Obon festival within a week of starting. Talk to me about how Hana Kage is a fucking bitch. this version of 回転木馬 was what i was performing after a year. if you can find my old livejournal account, i guarantee there is a really terrible version recorded on my motorola razr still live).

by the time i was seventeen i was allowed to be on payroll to act as a translator for a month-long "jan-term" project with my mom in japan, where we took about 13 students across the main land. back at my american school i was writing all my essays in japanese, in the style i had been taught in japan (it was WILD to relearn how to rewrite english essays when living abroad-- that shit does NOT translate sometimes).

i went to college. i was immediately accepted into the higher ed programs my school provided. they were working toward offering a major, but only had a minor present. i signed on for level 300 with 8 other students.

the professor hated me. that is the nicest word for it. she would have typos on her quizzes. she would make fun of my hokkaido accent. but the worst part was when i was sexually assaulted by one of the other 8 students in the class, went to her during office hours to request that she not pair me with that student out of fear, and then she proceeded to exclusively pair me with that student on projects.

i was also learning i had a learning disability, but the student union health center refused to directly prescribe me medication for my disability, or refer my outwards--what happened instead was i was put on a prescription that had not been recommended outside of extreme epilepsy (carbamezapine), and when i expressed my fear that it was resurfacing suicidal tendencies, the doctor in charge doubled the dosage and encourage me to kill myself.

it was an ordeal. it was an ordeal that i documented. it was an ordeal that by spring 2008, i was accused of cheating on a test i got less than 30% on because i was so fucking out of it by a woman who would only partner me with a man who had sexually abused me. and when i confronted her about it on tape, with a medical transcript of what i had endured for the past year, i have a recording of her saying, "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that you have problems."

Anyway, she went on sabbatical to adopt a kid the next year. Idiot sex pest remained in my classes, but god, he really sucked. I had to leave through most of my 400-level classes because I was working a lot. Most of my classes were essentially unpaid labor where we were translating books and providing subtitles for movies that were ready for American distribution. Half of my classmates my second year were born in Japan and spoke Japanese better than English but were able to cop out a foreign language credit, and they were honestly my favorite friends in the class, even if that's a steep fucking grading curve. Asshole teacher appeared once my spring semester, but knowing she took the year off, I actually completed my minor degree my sophomore year in early 2009.

And then I never really spoke Japanese again.

And it's hard. Whenever I'm introduced to media, I'm like, god, I forgot that. I remember that. I knew that, once upon a time. I remember conversations in English that weren't in English. And I remember when I was in my senior year of High School, I would be speaking Japanese and forget that I was speaking Japanese, that sometimes no one else except my teacher or friend who were equally fluent understood too. I miss that feeling. I feel shame, sometimes, at letting it go. I know I still have the pronunciation and local dialect, but it's hard to be reminded of how much I forgot.

When I started learning first, very close to when I was still fluent, Indonesian, and more recently, French, my backup language in my head has always been Japanese instead of English. My wife used to tell me I had a Japanese accent when I would try to speak French (fun fact: one of my friends in Japan was learning French and spoke zero English, and only then did I understand the horror of French phonetics), and it took me literally over a month of quietly practicing my R's in my car when I would get home from work for her to be like, oh you sound like a regular Anglo (read: white boy trying so hard and yet).

Whenever I get back into the mindset of becoming fluent in French (mandatory!), and restart the journey from where I left off these past years, I ache something fierce and weird for my Japanese. It is, surface level, a sense of failure. I couldn't hold onto you, I wouldn't have known how to try. There were obstacles. There were so many bad memories. And yet, sometimes I will be in bed with my wife, and she will be watching a Japanese show, and I will be like, "Did he really say that?" and she will say, "Oh God, I forgot that you knew Japanese."

Some things are bone deep and will probably never go away. I guess I'm still in mourning for the language that I lost as I continue to learn a new language. I want to be better, I know I can be better this time! And yet, I'm afraid that every step forward, I'll lose what I have of my second language identity. I have already lost so much.

[wincestdailyheadcanons]

Wincest Unhinged #4 Bobby hadnt told Dean how bad Sam really was after the hounds. He doesn't tell Dean  Sam stayed awake for 4 days straight meticulously stitching Deans torn flesh back together, doesn't mention that he talked Sam out of going to the neighbors and asking for donations.

Thank God he asked Sam what kind of donations he was looking for, because Sam looked at him, eyes dark, cold, and so very empty that Bobby wondered if he was possessed, and said with an eerie calmness; "His organs are shredded, he needs new ones."

Bobby drugged Sam's food that night, convincing him that Dean would be upset if Sam didn't take care of himself.

Sam ate a peanut butter sandwich with one hand, and looked through one of the books he had dug up with the other, and eventually, passed out.

Bobby knew Sam was going to be pissed, and Sam could hate him for the rest of his life, but he was doing what was best. While Sam slept, Bobby prepared the funeral pyre, the salt, everything. He had to be very careful to move Dean's body, Sam had been sleeping with it, curled protectively around his brother's decomposing shell. Bobby had to hold his breath to keep from gagging.

He hoped he had given Sam enough medication to keep him asleep. He hadn't.

The moment Bobby tried to move Sam's hand away from Deans shoulder, he found himself fighting back the instinct to yell when he saw Deans skin slip off his body like a piece of dried leather and fall to the bed. He felt something press against his head, and heard the click of a gun.

"Fuck are you doing?" Sam asked as if he was inquiring about the forecast.

Bobby raised his hands in surrender; "Son, you gotta let him go, come on, you know Dean w-"

Sam pulled the trigger. Bobby felt his heart drop, unsure if the gun was empty, or if by dumb luck, had jammed.

"Dont tell me what Dean would want, he would want to be here, and no one is taking him from me."

 Bobby gave a small nod; "Okay, Sam. I'm…I'm just gonna go hit the books again, okay?"

"That's fine. Let me know if you find anything."

Sam came downstairs an hour later when Bobby called for him, telling him about a Shaman in Louisiana. Sam listened intently, taking notes.

"I'm going to take your truck." Sam told him. "I cant have Dean sitting in the backseat, too many people might see him."

No way in hell this Shaman thing was going to work, he was sending Sam on a wild goose chase and he knew it, but there was no way Bobby was going to let Sam put Dean's body in a cooler and haul it across the country.

"How about we bury his body?" Bobby suggested, and was pretty sure Sam was going to make sure the gun worked properly this time based on the look he gave.

"I can make a casket with a spell that will keep his body safe." He lied. "We just gotta get dirt from the location where he died, we can put him somewhere private where I can put up warding, then you can come back for the Impala.

Sam thought for a moment, fingers fidgeting with Deans amulet, glancing upstairs where Dean was, and then to Bobbys relief, nodded. "I'll go pack. we'll head out in the morning."

At sunrise Sam carried Dean out to the truck and gently placed Deans body in the casket Bobby had prepared, the wood littered with carved runes and different languages. Bobby pretended not to see Sam lean down and kiss his brother's lips ignoring the orange fluid leaking from his mouth, before promising; "I'm gonna come back for you."