#but i'm somewhere in this weird clash of still 'fitting in' and feeling so out of place

[noxtivagus]

i wna write

[jkl-fff]

Parapines and SamFro are too easy so I'm not going to ask you about those 🤔 hmmm 002 for Bill Cipher if you want to do that.

Thanks for the ask!

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character.    Bill Cipher is an absolute ton of fun, regardless of his role    (the villain, an antagonist, a frienemy, part of a ship, etc.).    Probably because of how charming, yet unapologetically    amoral and unhinged he is, while still being deviously clever    and completely madcap in his playfulness.    “I came out here to attack people, and I am honestly    having such a good time right now,” fits him to a T.       Like, yeah, he’ll stab you and burn down the world,       but at least he’ll be entertaining while he does it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character.    Hmm ... Dipper and Ford. The only two guys    he has some meaningful, on-screen interactions with,    and who he seems to enjoy bothering in particular.

My non-romantic OTP for this character.    So the BROTP, right? Hmm ...    Can’t say I’ve given this particular concept much thought ...    I suppose Mabel (as depicted in the Little Monsters AU    after the canon events of the series). The idea of them    hanging out and kinda having silly hijinks is amusing to me.       They’d respect each other’s weird creativity       and penchant for silliness.

My unpopular opinion about this character.    He’s a freakin’ Demon. He’s not supposed to be *nice*    when things aren’t going his way.    He’s not supposed to be *sweet* (conventionally, at least)    when he’s been really crossed or thwarted.    He’s not supposed to be *sane* or *safe*    all the time. Definitely *sometimes*, but not all the time.       Basically, he’s supposed to be Problematic(TM)--       especially in ships with anybody--       because that’s what Demons are and       that’s what makes Demons interesting as characters.          (gods, I despise and disdain purity culture and antis and such)    (Also ... the blond twink version of Bill is just okay.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:    Honestly, canonwise, I just wish we’d gotten *more* of him.    Dipper claims at one point that he’d been tormenting them    “all summer”, but we only have two episodes wherein    Bill interacts with either of the twins.    And all we get for Ford’s and Bill’s prior partnership    is basically a montage of flashbacks in one episode.       So, yeah, I just wish we’d gotten more.       I would’ve liked to see him charm and manipulate Ford--       liked to see why Ford liked and trusted him so much.       I would’ve liked to see him toy/clash with the twins,       always floating ambiguously somewhere between       being an amusing presence, an eccentric annoyance,       a teasing hindrance, and an unsettling threat.

My OTP.    Definitely BillDip as developed in the Little Monsters AU.    That went to some fun, intriguing places    for their characters ... and their sexualities.    I’m always a sucker for the “gods damn it,    now I have morals and feelings and urges    and it’s all *your* fault, you beautiful bastard!” development.

My crossover ship.    Don’t have any for Bill. Generally, I tend not to develop those at all (the major exceptions of ParaPines and PinesCone notwithstanding).

A headcanon fact.    Bill Cipher is short for Billiam Cipheriam. That's part of the reason he hates his parents and burned down his original dimension.

[velvereen]

diary entry 003

ㅡ january 26th, 2021 (9:58pm)

i have dediced i will attempt to churn out a piece of writing.

just a sampler, really. i have been meaning to sit and let words flow freely out of my fingers for quite a feel days now, and this seemed like an appropriate time to do so. truly no feeling like it. i will, however, preface this by saying my head has been feeling very weird for a couple of days now. not just my head, but my body, generally speaking. it has been feeling quite off and this might have something to do with the medication i have been taking.

i have suffering from intermittent anxiety symptoms which have led to difficulties falling asleep. staying still has been quite hard, for some reason. i was very nervous last night and i have not been able to pinpoint a reason, but at the stage of the pandemic the world finds itself in it's really no wonder all the chaos would catch up to me at some point.

granted, it has been taking its toll for well over a couple of months now, but it had not hit quite as hard. i'm still not doing that great, but i'm taking steps to improve my situation. i did my best to care for myself today. i showered and i brushed my teeth and i moisturized my face and body, paying special attention to my shoulder blades.

too much information, maybe.

still, that's what happened and i'm aiming to be as transparent as possible here.

i also clipped my nails, not that there is any relevance to that. again, still something i wanna point out. i'm sure you won't mind. you probably don't know me, after all. i'm not sure who i'm addressing this to, by the way. i've been putting some of my diary entries on this account, and it wouldn't be too weird for a complete stranger to run into them sooner or later. there's a certain eroticism to that, one i won't dive into because that's not something i'm inclined to write about during this particular moment in time.

forgive me, but i'm not sure i can keep this narrative going in a linear fashion. it turns out accomplishing that is very hard when you sit down to write about nothing in particular. i though i was having a panic attack the other night, by the way. it was really weird. i don't think that was it, though. probably symptoms of the aforementioned medication i was taking. it wasn't prescription, so that's certainly that on that. whatever that is.

it's now 9:22pm and i feel like watching a movie. a cute one. i'm leaning towards something out of studio ghibli, ideally something i have already watched. i don't wanna process a whole new narrative. this has been a weird couple of days and i'm in dire need of some peace.

it would be most appreciated at this moment. it has been hard, practicing this entire existence deal during these past few months. i'm still locked down with my family ten months into the pandemic, and that entire situation is still as disastrous as ever. but that's another thing i don't feel like typing about. i'm really glad i'm my own individual and i'm free to take the cards i've been dealt and do as i view fit, but tapping into that state of mind is surely quite hard when you find yourself in an environment that clashes with the set of beliefs you operate on.

there's a lot of things i have been meaning to do for a long time now. i need to set foot outside, find some grass and lay in it. that would do wonders for me, i think.

i also need to get beyond shitfaced in the company of my friends, all of whom i miss more than these words i'm typing out can comprehend. i also wanna make new friends and get shitfaced with them, too. it has been a while since i've gotten drunk, though. at this rate, i might just need to microdose alcohol when the pandemic is over, and that's a funny thought.

this is completely unrelated, but a void has burrowed somewhere in my body this past week. again, that might just be the aforementioned medication, but it's a very weird feeling that i'm feeling even as i type this out. i'm not fond of it, at all. it's so weird. i'm not sure what i can do to satiate it, if that's even the word i want to use in this context. but it's been bothering me and has something to do with why i've been having trouble sleeping, and why i was entirely convinced i was having a panic attack the other day.

by the way, i was really bored yesterday. it was the middle of the night and i decided to put a condom on, for no reason whatsoever. around two weeks back, i was planning on hooking up with this boy i don't like all that much, so i went to grab a pack on the corner drugstore, but i broke my foot a couple days before i was gonna come over, so that entire thing fell through. and since the condoms had just been hidden in a box of toys from when i was little for that entire time, i decided to do something to them when i couldn't fall asleep. not trying to accomplish anything by relaying that information to whoever has read this far into whatever this tale is. still keeping that in for the sake of transparency, though. cheers to that.

i love living in this world but i'm still able to recognize a lot is wrong with it. i don't think you can be truly whole in a world this broken, but it's still such a beautiful world nonetheless. that's owed partially to love, which is kind of what my latest essay of sorts focused on. still, when you're talking about a world in which so many horrible things happen, maybe embracing your brokenness is the only was to become whole, whatever that term may mean to you. i'm typing this on wordpad and i'm  not sure these words are ever gonna see the light of day. i love you, though. and i love myself a whole lot, as well. i think if i were to title this little open letter, the title would just be whole. seems fitting, for some reason.

i just lowered my computer's brightness to thirty out of one hundred. i'm gonna wrap this up, i think. i still wanna watch a cute movie, like i mentioned earlier, but i might not end up doing that. i'll try to stay away from my phone, though. not that you'll ever know if i succeeded, or ended up watching the movie. whatever movie that is. just in case i haven't made myself clear, i love you. as much as i love love. and myself. be mindful of your actions and put love into your every nightly affirmation. hang in there. i'll do my best, too.

a little note: i tried by brandy is a very good song and it has been on repeat for around three days now. i'll leave you with that song recommendation. while you're at it, make sure you also get into to any time, any place by janet jackson. that's another great song. i love music

[thesummerfox]

so I have actually two prompts to ask (1) something happens to Karen and she ends up in the hospital (2) anything domestically fluffy PS: I'm sorry if this is to much to ask, so if you want to do just one I'm okay with that 😍💖 (but let it be the first one 😂). And thank you sooo much!!💖💖

Thank you for sending this in, oh my goodness! This has been a blast to write -- I decided to opt for 1 and add in sprinkles of 2, how about that? ;) Also, if this prompt is your jam I’ve got one other (older) fic of mine you might like! Though Death Be More Kind fits this bill perfectly, if you haven’t read it yet. ^^As for your prompt... I hope you’ll enjoy this!

Her ears are still ringing.

She winces at the high-pitched whining tone that has wormed its way into her eardrums. Wonders if the quiet in the room around her is setting it off even further, or if she just permanently suffered some damage to her eardrums from that explosion.

The fact that she’s more concerned about damage to her hearing than about the varying cuts and bruises on her body is probably a testament to how good hospital painkillers can be when they work.

“Oh, good, you’re awake,” says a voice somewhere to her right as she cracks one eye open and lets out a groan at the harsh light overhead. There’s something familiar about its mellow-toned sound that’s buried deep in her subconscious. She tries to remember what it is by furrowing her brow and attempting to turn her head. Regrets the decision almost immediately when her stomach rolls uncomfortably and bile rises in the back of her throat. The voice sounds concerned about her wellbeing in the next few seconds. “Try not to move too much, okay?”

“M-Micro?” she breathes, finally remembering the name that eluded her before. Croaks out his name and winces at the rough quality of her own voice. Her throat feels like sandpaper. There’s a burn in it that doesn’t subside even after she swallows half a dozen times. She blinks both eyes open now. “W-what?”

“Well, at least your brain still works,” assesses the man. She thinks she detects a sliver of approval in his tone, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. “Rather a sticky situation you landed in. Big explosion, too. You got lucky.”

“Don’t remember.”

It’s only half a lie. There are some holes where her knowledge of last night is supposed to be. She remembers chasing a story. Remembers something about an arms deal going horribly wrong. Definitely remembers the explosion. Is a little hazy about the details. Certainly doesn’t recall how she wound up with needles in her arm and bandages wrapped around various body parts. Her head is swimming. Her stomach flips a somersault as she moves her eyes slowly to the right.

“You look ridiculous,” she croaks out when she gets her first good look at the man. “Seriously. Did you get dressed in the dark?”

Micro raises his piercing blue eyes from the bag he’s holding for a second to fix her with a half-smile. His curly hair is tucked haphazardly into an oversized beanie, he is wearing two scarves that clash horribly with one another in colour, and Karen is pretty sure that he is the only person in her life who’ll don a kimono and hoodie at the same time. He looks just a little too much on the side of kooky for anyone to take seriously. She supposes that’s the entirety of why he chooses to dress that way. If there’s one thing she’s learned about the man, it’s that he thrives off being underestimated.

There’s something else that’s bugging her.

“How did you..?” She gestures haphazardly, groaning as even the smallest movement makes her muscles ache in protest. “Hospital?”

“I’m listed as your first emergency contact,” he shares conversationally while throwing half the contents of her bedside table into the bag. She blinks at that. Huh. “I’m your doddering older brother, Dan Page. I do not trust medical professionals and it took one of the nurses five minutes to explain to me that you were not going to die.” He smirks at that. “I swiped her keycard and half a dozen pain medications while she was preoccupied.”

It hurts to smile, but Karen can’t help break out into a small grin at that.

“There you go.” Micro sounds almost relieved to see her smile, brittle and more teeth than feeling though it may be, and he pats her hand reassuringly. “Dan Page is here to bail you out.”

She frowns at that. “Bail me out?”

“Well, you’ve only got a concussion and three broken bones and a whole lot of stitches.” He shrugs as if all he’s done is announce the weather. “Nothing some rest back home can’t fix. I’ve commandeered a wheelchair. You’ll be fine.”

“Jesus,” she mutters, then, catching on to all the things Micro is not saying, “he’s going spare, isn’t he?”

Micro has the grace to wince. “Like one of my kids' fucking wind-up toys,” he affirms. “I have half a mind to knock him out and check if there’s some kind of battery removal function.”

The laugh that bubbles up in her belly has her wincing in pain. White-hot agony shoots through her as the laugh escapes her lungs and stabs the air around her haltingly. She hisses as her throat clamps down on the bile that keeps on threatening to spew forth from her. Micro’s cool hand finds her brow seconds later. She moans in contentment as his hand stays on her feverish skin. Closes her eyes and lets the dark sink back in.

*

Karen Page sometimes wonders when exactly her life got to this point. She thinks even her longstanding bad luck charm for trouble must one day just.. run out. It has to. Keeps thinking that maybe it will as she gets older, but is somehow left dodging bullets and running away from danger more often than she can count.

Not that she’ll be doing any running any time soon.

A whimper escapes her as she inhales a little too noisily and her ribcage beats a steady protest against the motion. Oh, she’s going to kill Micro once she’s able to sit up without wanting to vomit. Vows to do some serious damage to the man so he can find out for himself that half the painkillers he swiped from the hospital don’t work well enough. She moans out a curse as the ceiling finally coalesces into a familiar sight. Doesn’t know what exactly she expected from the word ‘home’, but is pretty certain that a dingy basement that somehow always smells like lightning does not fit that bill completely.

“Hey, hey, don’t move.”

“Please tell me this is your bed and not his,” she groans out in reply, praying that she won’t throw up a third time as she shifts into a more comfortable position. “I don’t trust that Micro knows the meaning of the word clean.”

“Oh, he knows,” comes the answering chuckle, “but he likes upsetting you more. He did think it would be smarter to put you on my bed, though, I’ll give him that.”

“He’s weird.” She wrinkles her nose at that. Resigns herself to the pile of pillows and blankets she’s surrounded by. Tries to smile. Almost falters in her bravery. “Thanks.”

“How’re you holding up?” His voice may be gruff, but the gentle hand on her belly and the even gentler hand that brushes her hair back out of her face speak louder than his words. “Micro said you were pretty out of it when he transported you..”

She snorts derisively. “I puked all over him when he picked me up to put me in the wheelchair. I passed out after that.” Heat rises to her cheeks when she remembers Micro’s soft curses and the icky smell in her hair. “When I came to, again, we were in the van and he was hollering ‘I have a permit!’ at some irate hospital security guard who kept repeating he should not park in the ambulance’s spot.” She grins fully now, despite the fact that her face still throbs with pain. “Micro flipping everybody in the vicinity off was something I didn’t know I needed until I got it.”

It’s this that finally draws out a full laugh from Frank Castle, as she knew it would. “I’m pretty certain that permit just said ‘I can do whatever the hell I want’,” remarks the man good-naturedly as he settles down beside her on the bed. “You still queasy?”

“Less. But still.” She wrinkles her nose again. Wonders why her hair smells like bubblegum. “Did you.. uh..” She hedges the words carefully. Doesn’t want to presume. “Did you wash my hair?”

“Yeah. Micro’s idea. Said it’d make you feel better to wake up with clean hair and stuff.” His hand hovers nervously over the blankets she’s buried under. She raises her head slowly. Meets his furtive gaze head-on. “Are you.. uh..?”

“Yeah, it’s okay.” She smiles, more real this time, and folds her hand around his own. “I’m sorry I made such a mess of things. Didn’t expect it’d go that badly.”

Frank looks like he swallowed a good-sized chunk of lemon. His breathing goes irregular for a moment, as if he is no longer in the room with her but somewhere else entirely. She curls her fingers around his. Weighs him down and waits him out. When he finally does speak, his voice is scratchy. Rough with disuse, as though he’s only ever said these words in his head before. She senses the need that drives them. The worry. The fear.

“Thought you were.. weren’t gonna make it. Thought that night would be it. I’d never get to..” He lets out a shuddering breath. “You.. uh.. you..”

“I scared you.” Her voice is just as soft as his. “I’m here now. I’m okay. That’s what counts.”

It has to count. They both don’t voice the fear that one day they won’t be in the same place. If there’s one thing her life has taught her, it’s that everything is a fleeting series of moments. She just tries to hold on to the good.

Thinks she succeeds at a part of that when he sweeps his legs up on the bed and comes to lay beside her. Knows she succeeds at some of it when she wakes again to soft lips brushing against her brow and the smell of chicken soup wafting into her nostrils.

In these moments, fleeting in her life as they may be, Karen Page thinks she’s going to be just fine.

[somepinkthing]

wrt to tsukki and kags never getting along, i feel like the animosity is more from Tsukki's end? Like Tsukki may seem lowkey, but Kags even said something like "you can underestimate him," and even when they first met all Kags did was ask for his height before Tsukki suddenly started to get rude to him. Maybe Kags is extra rude to Tsukki as his way of defending himself? idk, some silly thoughts. Also, i really love ur meta's and analysis! i always find myself like :) when i'm scrolling thru

Eeeeeeeehhh idk about that. Not anymore anyways. The one who started it was definitely tsukki but at this point they kind of have this uneasy truce that’s equally as uneasy on both ends. Also, it’s not like they actually have any real animosity between them anymore. The part I always fail to mention is that their relationship has made quite a bit of progress; it’s not like the two of them are actually totally incapable of getting along. It's more like they're currently stuck in this weird mix of being friend-ish teammates and mortal enemies and they haven't quite figured it out yet.

Tsukishima pushed kageyama abnormally hard in their first meeting and honestly the reason that makes the most sense would be that furudate had to expose kageyama’s past somehow and tsukishima, a newcomer who happens to dislike kageyama anyways, was chosen to do the exposing. And also, tsukishima and yamaguchi’s characters weren’t yet set in stone (which I think furudate might have said somewhere) because by the seijoh practice match they’re already kind of different people than before. But yeah, whatever the case the starting point came from tsukishima, but neither of them have any intention of doing anything about their relationship so it’s kind of settled into the uneasy truce I mentioned. Like they don’t fix it, but they also don’t make it worse–immediately following their first meeting/match tsukishima pretty much backed down on any heavy topics and won’t say anything terribly out of turn anymore (lending credibility to the theory that part of it was just a writing thing), and on the other end kageyama hasn’t physically attacked tsukishima since then either. So it is a truce, but they definitely still push at each other’s buttons.

As far as who pushes each other’s buttons harder, I wonder. Tsukishima pushes them with more frequency but I feel like kageyama is more likely to go for the things that really irk tsukishima (whether he means to or not). Tsukishima pushes and teases, but he’s careful not to make an impact. Even in the recent chapters where he straight up called kageyama out for reverting and being admittedly rude, he didn’t step too far out of line; he wasn’t saying something tanaka or hinata wouldn’t and it wasn’t anything that struck too deep, which is the pattern. Tsukishima is still abrasive towards kageyama but he hasn’t really overstepped since their first meeting. And on kageyama’s part, he is allowed to be every bit as abrasive right back. So, intentional or not, I can’t really say who makes the other angrier.

The difference really is in the fact that while loud and abrasive is sort of kageyama’s default, this new level of ill-temperedness is really abnormal for tsukishima. Meaning that kageyama is pushing at tsukishima’s buttons in part because that’s who he is and he doesn’t see anything wrong with it (which might actually just make tsukishima angrier at him tbh). However, tsukishima has to know to some degree that his behavior is totally out of character for him and he either doesn’t care or just loses control. Either way, for some reason kageyama bypassed all his normal rules of interaction right from the first meeting. Kageyama doesn’t like tsukishima so he turns his intensity up around him. Not ideal given that his normal intensity is already pretty intense but what are you gonna do? But with tsukishima it’s basically a total switch.

Tsukishima manages to get along with just about every other character. He is distant and still has an attitude, but his default is polite and respectful. Around others, he’s happy to play the role of an observer, occasionally throwing in a snide yet mild taunt or maybe his own carefully worded opinion. With kageyama, that’s not the case at all. Around kageyama he is blunt, vindictive, and more talkative than I ever see him anywhere else. On their bad days, if he’s not avidly avoiding kageyama, he's arguing with him. I have actually never seen tsukishima in an altercation that did not involve kageyama in some way. Again, that’s abnormal. Kageyama picks fights with others all the time. Tsukishima does not. So its odd that a lot of their fights are picked by tsukishima and it’s odd that he perpetuates the fights when he’d usually choose to back off or limit them to trading simple taunts. So even if tsukishima dislikes kageyama, it’s weird that he’s so insistent about it. I mean, he didn’t like tendou either but that was totally different (though he also spends a lot less time with tendou so). He should be able to be satisfied with just judging kageyama from a distance and keeping his distance. So I can’t really judge who makes who angrier, but I can say that tsukishima is the one acting weird here.

Why? What about kageyama generates such a strong reaction in tsukishima? That’s anyone’s guess. We don’t know yet. Honestly, I do think it’s got a big part to do with personality. If you think about it, they perfectly clash.

BUT I feel I should give the two of them more credit too. Their current truce is uneasy but it also works extremely well and hasn’t broken yet. They respect each others’ skills and have a strong on-court relationship that can endure some pretty rough shit: kageyama’s little fit and subsequent change after the national youth training camp didn’t break it, tsukishima’s initial attitude and his change didn’t break it, none of their matches so far have broken it. And tbh they are (very tentatively) getting along better personally too. They even spend downtime together, albeit with a group. And all they needed to get to where they are was time. Maybe all they really need is enough time to settle in with each other. I know I keep making it sound like they absolutely hate each other’s guts but idk if it’s that simple; their relationship just keeps improving with time and we have multiple examples of them actually getting along in canon. So its not like their relationship is unsalvageable. Rather, I think something about kageyama rubbed tsukishima the wrong way right from the beginning and somehow, despite the fact that he can allow their relationship to move forward and has even bonded with kageyama, he can’t seem to get over whatever it was about kageyama that made him so reactive. And for kageyama it’s a little bit of their shared dislike and a little bit of his own natural reactiveness. Those things started and continue to perpetuate their squabbling even though they’ve managed to move their relationship forward. It’s almost like they’re holding onto their initial reaction to the other just to be stubborn at this point. But whatever it is that they refuse to drop for whatever reason, I don’t think their interactions can be classified as animosity anymore. They still don’t always like each other and we still don’t know why it started, but they definitely don’t hate each other anymore.

And thank you for liking me rambling on and on! Always appreciated!

[moments-magazine]

Oathbreaker’s Caro Tanghe: On Transcending Labels and Transcendent Waffles

CARO: We hate being labeled. Once you get labeled, you get boxed. That's my idea of it. We can't even try to describe how or what influences us writing this music, so it's really hard to give it one label. It scares me when people do that.

RYAN: I totally agree.

CARO: The thing is, to us what is most important… People call us hardcore because we come from a hardcore background, or at least when I started going to shows there were definitely some hardcore bands that I really liked. To me what is most important about that attitude or about that scene in general. To me it's not about the music, or at least that's not what remains an Oathbreaker. The most important thing that remains is the way of thinking—the lifestyle. You can definitely say that we try to do everything ourselves. We try to be DIY, and while I also hate that term — everyone wants to be DIY — we don't have a manager and we try to do everything ourselves: visually, aesthetically, the videos… It’s all us you know?

RYAN: It's great that you devote yourselves to the band. There's totally an intimacy to what you guys do, and it’s really interesting how Oathbreaker has grown. What’s really impressive to me is the level at which the music is confessional in a way. You’re really tearing your heart out and laying it on the stage.

CARO: Yes.

RYAN: I think it's fantastic.

CARO: Thank you.

RYAN: Have you been compelled to do that for a long time, or do you feel like it's a recent evolution?

CARO: I think we've grown into doing it. It's so hard… Oathbreaker has been a band since 2008, but before that me, Lennart, and Gilles played in another band, so basically me and Gilles have been together in a band since we were 13.

RYAN: Oh man…

CARO: That would mean that that’s 14 years. And when you’re 13, you're not thinking about laying your heart out or trying to pour out everything you're feeling and put it all into lyrics or music. It's not something you think about.

RYAN: You want to have fun.

CARO: It's definitely something that we’ve grown into. And it grew really organically in a way. When you see our three records, and you put them next to each other, you’ll see that we did grow.

RYAN: There's absolutely a step up with each record.

CARO: Yes.

RYAN: It's got to be amazing being a working musician, especially if you started at 13. Is there anything that you could ever see yourself doing other than this?

CARO: Well, yes.

RYAN: Really?

CARO: Yeah, of course. I mean, we’ve only recently been working full-time as a band. We decided to try and do this when Rheia came out, because with the previous records we were never able to tour as much as we wanted to. We all had our full-time jobs.

RYAN: It's hard to get away.

CARO: Yeah, you get 4 weeks off or 5 weeks off.

RYAN: I get two…

CARO: Yeah… We're lucky we have that much off. It’s not easy to tour the States. When you bring out a record and you want to tour it as much as you can, that means in one year you want to come maybe three times.

RYAN: It's an investment with the travel and everything.

CARO: Yeah, it's just not worth coming here for five shows, after you pay for those flights, so you want to try to make the best out of it.

RYAN: So on that subject, since you guys are from Belgium, I'm curious if you think there's anything about home that bleeds into your music that is different then if you were from the US or Japan or South Africa or somewhere?

CARO: Probably, yes. The scene that we’ve grown up in, it's probably different than if you grew up [in the U.S.]. So possibly, yes. But I can't point out what that would be. I mean everyone has their issues, and I bet growing up in South Africa like you said, it’s completely different than growing up in Belgium. We’re a good country. I'm happy that I grew up in Belgium.

RYAN: Everything that I hear sounds wonderful.

CARO: It is; it's really wonderful. But I think what did influence us a lot is just Belgian bands and the Belgian scene. I got to see a lot of bands from Belgium, and not so many bands that came over from the States.

RYAN: Well, we've gone super deep.

CARO: It's okay.

RYAN: So I think it would be fun to ask you a couple of lighter questions.

CARO: No worries.

RYAN: So, number one: waffles or pancakes?

CARO: Hmm… Pancakes.

RYAN: Nice! Agreed!

CARO: It's weird, I feel like every time we come to the States, and tell people we're from Belgium they're like, “BELGIAN WAFFLES!”

RYAN: I really didn't want to think that was just a Belgium question!

CARO: No, no, no, it's fine! But I’m like “Dude, we don't eat Belgian waffles like you eat Belgian waffles,” and we don't eat them at breakfast.

RYAN: I don't even know why they're called Belgian.

CARO: It is a Belgian thing, but we eat them as a 4 p.m. snack.

RYAN: Oh that sounds good.

CARO: There's like carts in the street that sell hot waffles.

RYAN: Like we eat in the States, or is there some variation?

CARO: It's a little different. There’s different types… Like Brussels waffles, that’s one type, and there's Liège waffles. They come from the French-speaking part of Belgium. The difference is Liège waffles, if I'm not mistaken… I don't eat that many waffles…

RYAN: Pancakes right?

CARO: Pancakes, yeah! But the difference is, the ones from Liège are square, crunchy, and very light, and you just eat them with powdered sugar. And the ones from Brussels are softer and they have chunks of sugar in them.

RYAN: Oh my gosh… I think we need to translate that into the American waffle culture.

CARO: It’s so different.

RYAN: It will start with me.

CARO: Yes, do it!

RYAN: Next time you come back there will be sugar infused waffles.

CARO: But either way I like pancakes more…

RYAN: So maybe pancakes instead then.

CARO: We don't even really have pancakes. In Ghent, where I live, there are a few breakfast spots that serve them now, but when I was younger my grandma used to make crêpes, and we’d eat them with Nutella.

RYAN: Okay, so fun question number two: If you could be any animal…

CARO: Animal!?

RYAN: …what would you be and why?

CARO: Holy shit…

RYAN: I know, right? Do you want me to go first?

CARO: Yes!

RYAN: So, mine is fairly straight-laced, but I would like to be a happy, safe elephant…

CARO: That’s really hard though! Because I feel like none of them are very happy and safe.

RYAN: Yeah, they seem like they have kind of a rough life. But there might be a few. And if I could carve out that territory for myself as an elephant, I feel like it would be cool. They're kind of like humans in a way.

CARO: Oh? Really?

RYAN: Yeah! Big brain, big family, long life…

CARO: I don't feel like humans have big brains.

RYAN: Maybe not. Maybe just a big nose sometimes, if nothing else.

CARO: Okay, I know an animal. And I won't say that I want to be that animal… But when I was younger, I used to be in a youth organization, sort of like you have the Boy Scouts, and when you're around 13 they give you a totem that's an animal. And supposedly I’m this long extinct type of goat…

RYAN: That’s amazing!

CARO: And I kind of took it as an offense; I mean come on!

RYAN: Goats are the greatest!

CARO: Well, but there’s one type of goat with huge horns that curl up, and they live in mountains. And I got that totem. And all of their characteristics fit me really well.

RYAN: I'll tell you what, that's one of my favorite animals, so that would make me really happy. You should be a proud goat.

CARO: I'm a very proud goat—mountain goat!

RYAN: Okay, so why don't we wrap this up. You said you feel like the band has been evolving. So I guess the ultimate question is how do you feel like that will happen in the future? And what do you hope you’ll be able to give audiences through your music and your performances? Clearly the crowd was loving it tonight.

CARO: They liked it, yeah! I'm excited that they liked it. I have no idea where Oathbreaker is going to go, for real. When we recorded Rheia and when it came out, to me it felt like after this record anything was possible. We don’t ever want to make a record that’s the same, and I don't think we've ever done that before. And so after this one we could do anything.

RYAN: The sky's the limit.

CARO: When we brought out the first record, Maelstrom, it was like a metal record that comes from a hardcore background, and then with Eros/Anteros it was like we were trying to do something more, but “We’re still here, and we’re only seeing this.” And then bringing out Rheia was like, “Hey! Maybe we don't have to sound like we think we have to sound… But we can also do something different that people will still like.” It isn’t too much of a clash with before, but it is a natural growth, and I feel like now we could maybe do an acoustic record or maybe a more electronic record.

RYAN: That would be great!

CARO: There's so many things that are possible, and I don’t want us to feel limited.

RYAN: It's like you said, you don't need labels.

CARO: Yeah!

RYAN: You’re being creative, and that's the point.