#but id like a general consensus opinion on how i did

[zackcollins]

How did I do? 👉👈🥺

[taylor-titmouse]

my review: i liked how comedic it was, youre good at comedy. i like sex farce

the dubcon felt a lot more like noncon in this one, kinda like the tower book (autocorrect flat out wont let me try to write the actual title. sigh.) and the threats felt a lot more threatening and the villains a lot more villainous. the bandits are definitely the most antagonist-y antagonists youve written aside from the cult in the risen king and our lovely wizard friend romick. mark and george are especially unpleasant (in an amusing way) and i wonder if you intentionally wrote them to be misogynistic as thats something i picked up on from them. they (sam and vanesse too but to a lesser extent) felt like they were written to be actual threatening sex criminals whose acts are considered sex crimes within the narrative/universe, once again similar to romick. angre definitely did not seem to be having a good time during the sex scenes and neither did vanesse when the goblins got her. now none of this is bad in my opinion, i actually quite enjoyed these aspects. but i do think its something people who are sensitive to that type of thing should be aware of

another thing about the story is how it handled gender and expression and all that. that was my favorite aspect of the book. i also enjoyed the world building. youve got a good eye for fantasy world building thats both fun and makes sense. i think you also do in-universe species-ism/prejudice very well too. id read a book by you thats a field guide to the world youve crafted

this is an interesting takeaway because what you're saying much more accurately describes the first draft, to the point that when i read this ask the first time, i was suddenly paranoid i had somehow uploaded that version. the second, final draft involved taking a lot of that real threat out and making it funnier, and trying to play closer to the space the chique books are in, where getting fucked by whoever catches you is a common, acceptable risk.

like the only sex in the whole thing that you could call non-consensual was vanesse and the goblins, but it's presented as a fair punishment given what she does to angre, and it's not presented as a horrible/violent violation, just an annoyance. it's a villain getting what was coming to her. tonally it's different from what people generally think when it comes to non-con, which is why i group it in with dub-con. if she would consider anyone she defeats on the road fair game, the same must be true of her. that's the nature of the world. she "consents" by playing the game, essentially.

similarly angre knew the risk he was taking and specifically goads vanesse into fucking him, so i don't know where you got the idea he didn't want the sex. he came twice. he was fine.

anyway. the question of whether i wrote georgie and markie to be misogynistic on purpose is really funny. no man it happened by accident in the book about fantasy intersectional misogyny. i didn't think about it at all.

i'm glad you liked it i'm just very "huh." about some of your takeaways lol

[detachable-tits]

KNUCKLES SERIES REVIEW🗣️‼️‼️

I don’t think anyone cares about this girl blabbering on about her opinion of the newest sonic show, but the new knuckles series was honestly so peak‼️

The shows only been out for like a day or two now, so I don’t know what the general consensus on it is, but I feel that the show has a lot of good elements that balance well with each other.

Positives:

•I honestly really liked Wade and Knuckles’s dynamic through out the show. You have wade which is this super goofy, not serious at all, kind of push over. Contrasting with knuckles, this super serious warrior who doesn’t know how to have fun. And I love how they have stuff to learn from each other! Knuckles teaches Wade to stand up for himself, and in return wade teaches knuckles how to be more human and how to have fun. I think they work really well off of each other:)

•The jokes honestly got me, like o don’t think I ever laughed once at the jokes in sonic movie 1 and 2, but a good handful of times the jokes landed for me. (Side note, hearing kid cudi swear took me off guard)

•I feel that the pacing was good, I didn’t feel lost at any point, and there were some really nice moments of knuckles and wade bonding between action scenes.

•Speaking of action scenes, I feel these action and fight scenes are honestly some of the best, most creative, and dynamic in the sonic movie universe yet! They’ve it makes me even more hyped to see what they have in store for sonic movie 3

•The CGI was a tiny bit jarring in some places, but over all the CGI was on par with the movies in my opinion!

Negatives:

•The main villain “the buyer�� was honestly shit in my opinion. He only got a little bit of screen time towards the start and the end. And his whole deal is only explained towards the last episode. And at that point I just didn’t care, and I felt he should’ve been built up a little bit through out each episode. I honestly liked his henchmen more than him. The two gun agents (I don’t think we ever get names for them) really worked, and I cared more about them than i did “the buyer”

•I was a tiny bit lost at times trying to figure out who some guys were that were after knuckles, like they just feel like random enemies in a video game. And I know they were after wade because of the bounty, but I felt they should’ve just used the two gun agents again.

•I don’t like how everyone was just chill about seeing knuckles. Like does the wider population know about sonic and friends? It feels like sonic and friends are only known about by the government and the residents of green hills. So it threw me off when people would just not bat an eye and a giant fucking anthropomorphic echidna

•I know I said the show was well balanced and paced, but sometimes so feel like the wade scenes went in for just a bit too long. This didn’t happen often enough to detract from my enjoyment however.

Anyways that’s my ramble. I really enjoyed my time with the show over all, and I can’t wait for sonic 3

I’d have to put the knuckles show above movie one but below movie 2 in terms of ranking

Overall id give it a 8/10

[vitospaghetta]

Hi there!

Sorry to barge in on your inbox like this but i was very intrigued by your post about Leon's flirting with Shen Mei. And I'll just start by saying i agree. I loved the breakdown because as much as i love Leon i also love the fact that he's not flawless.

I just think that people let Leon's compassionate nature cloud their perception on him a bit and it's fine, y'know? It's a perception albeit different still, everyone's entitled to different opinions and such. I just think that the way you put it simply a desperation born out of loneliness makes perfect sense and isn't out of the place either. I'm sure Leon would want to have a genuine connection and a relationship with someone. Were the circumstances different. But to put it simple it's... a human tragedy. The only people that ever genuinely seemed to look out for him or care about him were taken out of the story after a single title or just died in the most tragic circumstances. Yes I'm looking at RE4R's Ashley (written out), Luis and Krauser.

But all that said, i also like that there are two separate timelines now that are both considered canon. So people can choose. And for this case alone I'm just gonna say i prefer the writing of the remakes. Which makes me wonder if the CGI movies now only stand for OG canonicity due to the writing and everything.

Regardless if you're interested on explaining the timeline I'd be happy to read it. I loved your breakdown of Leon in that one scene from ID alone. ✨

Yes! I saw people vague-posting and complaining about my post, as if Leon's sex life comes at the cost of his morality. I think people also just took what they wanted out of it and deliberately misinterpreted it. Like.. people are free to think what they want and I'm not claiming my analysis is the supreme truth, but it's very clear that some folks openly reject the idea of Leon being imperfect in ways that aren't pretty because they'd rather focus strictly on his compassion.

Compassion like his comes at a cost, and that's something we've seen throughout the franchise. i.e. Leon giving up his freedom for Sherry in RE2, or him being fully willing to sabotage his relationship with Claire at the end of Infinite Darkness over the data chip because he doesn't want agents to go after her, or him not clearing his name by turning Helena in to the authorities in RE6. Leon's compassion is the whole reason why I came to the conclusion I did about the scene with Shen Mei, because he is absolutely the type of person who would suffer a life of loneliness willingly just to avoid hurting anyone else.

I think it's also just the common mentality that mental health issues are only ever tolerated when they're pretty. If Leon's just a sad wet rat of a guy whose flaws never impact another person and he's only ever a detriment to himself (which seems to be the general consensus people come to when they analyze/think of RE4R Leon), then it's okay. But mental health issues are notoriously ugly.

Men are also notoriously fucking annoying, and unfortunately for everyone, OG Leon's got just a sprinkling of that fuckboi flavor. Real human pest energy. That half-serious "soooo...?" is a testament to that. What we should actually focus on is how nicely he accepts rejection lol. What an American hero!!!!

Also in regards to the CGI movies - I mentioned this in the last ask I answered, but the CGI movies exist within the original timeline and aren't made to hold up with the remakes for the sake of continuity.

[bellocan]

hiii 1, 9 and eleven for relationship asks!!

1. do you prefer pure, innocent romantic interactions or do you prefer obsession and possession? or maybe a mix of both as long as it's relatively healthy and consensual?

ive never really had anyone like me to the point of obsession and possession! but i think id like a mix of both. i like cute and romantic gestures like leaving little flirty love notes or getting flowers or being incorporated into their creative pieces in some manner. there was a girl in high school that liked me that would refuse to leave my side when i was being dumb and isolating myself in the cold. and she'd keep my hands warm with hers. and she'd share an earbud with me and let me listen along with her. i didnt appreciate it back then but it melts my heart reflecting now.

after. my last relationship though. i also want to have zero doubts about the long haul so a little healthy possessiveness would give me a little reassurance! i want to indubitably be someones partner... i like feeling like im theirs and theirs only.

9. what was your longest ever relationship? how and why did it end?

my longest relationship is my first and only. it was ldr and it lasted about 4 and a half years. and i was engaged to them actually. had a nice little intimate christmas proposal in private and everything where i started off with christmas presents and led up to the ring!

in her own words, before she ghosted me, the relationship ended because "nothing has changed between us." she didnt feel like either one of us were growing. despite her finally working and being able to support herself somewhat. and despite me giving all my effort to address our pain points. although a lot of her pain points were nebulous due to fact of them solely involving just how she felt... and of course no matter what a person does, the other will simply feel how they feel. i would assure her that meaningful growth takes time and that measurable growth isnt instantaneous. i feel like she wanted to see her living conditions and her life in general change completely in a short amount of time.

in my own opinion, the relationship started falling apart about halfway through. she reached a point where she said she felt emotionally numb potentially as a result of her meds and couldnt feel intimacy anymore and didnt want to be intimate. i asked her to clarify since physical intimacy isnt my only want in a relationship and isnt even a deal breaker. and she said she wasnt sure. womp womp. despite her saying those things she ended up in bed with one of her university friends/flings. she said that she "just let him share the bed with her since he didnt have a place to sleep and nothing happened between them." and nah i dont quite buy that one bit anymore. especially since her roommate found the need to message me about it. there were a million different solutions she could have went with and she chose the worst one willingfully. at this point i tried breaking up with her or at least go on break. and she more or less guilted me into staying by accusing me of just wanting physical intimacy and sex lol... projecting much... from that point on forward i still put in as much effort as i could muster. but emotionally i was definitely colder. i definitely wasnt as vocal about my love. and then covid hit and the distance became greater. and it looked like it was getting back on track when the travel ban lifted and she stayed with me at my apartment for a month. and i actually believed that it was getting back on track at that point despite feeling uncertainty. and then she drops the break up a few months after blindsiding me.

11. describe your ideal type of romantic interest!!

i love creatives! whether theyre dancers or singers or writers or musicians or artists! i. feel like i have many types... i like confident passionate direct girls... ive been enamored by an architecture major whose hard work was both inspiring and. attractive. i would also put the girl at work i call texas girl in this category. watching her fiddle with components and be determined to resolve issues in any way she can... is attractive. i also like shy quiet. cutesy girls. mellow and sweet. i guess my ideal type would be someone confident and bold and direct... but can also be shy and sweet in private? someone thoughtful and kind. someone thatd make me feel supported and secure and undeniably loved. my love languages are words of affirmation and quality time!!! my romantic interest would be patient and mindful. and we would work as a couple to fix issues instead of shifting blame.

[shrikebrother]

rant under the cut abt like. books i guess?

the weirdest thing abt andrea long chu’s article abt ottessa moshfegh and how ppl reacted to it is that like. alc didnt rlly like.. say anything that wasnt already known. like ppl knew that moshfegh put racism and fatphobia and other bigoted or “gross” themes into her work, theres literally no way u could have claimed to read her books w/o noticing that. this isn’t to say that that shouldn’t be criticized—i def think some of it should be, to an extent—but plenty of ppl had already been criticizing moshfegh for this before acl’s article, but the majority of ppl just didnt care at all bc at that point moshfegh was still popular and on social media she was the “super unhinged aesthetic girlboss woman writer” or whatever. it was only when a somewhat popular person said “man this stuff is Weird right guys” that ppl suddenly did a complete 180 and decided that they hated moshfegh bc she was Problematic Now I Guess. like, just a day ago the same ppl were talking abt how much they loved her bc she wrote abt “unhinged women” (a term im glad to see is finally dying out somewhat) and right after the alc article they acted like they were just. completely and totally blind to everything that was criticized, as if it wasnt literally in their faces the entire time, and now they’re totally dumping moshfeghs books bc the general consensus now is that shes Bad.

again i do think there are some aspects of moshfegh’s writing and some things shes said that should be criticized, im not saying shes like innocent or anything, im just saying its weird how ppl’s opinions seemed to flip on a dime overnight. it feels like no one even rlly had like. a real opinion of their own. they liked moshfegh bc ppl were pushing that “unhinged woman” persona onto her and everyone just loved that, but when one popular person is like “erm.. shes kinda problematic and talks abt shit a lot for some reason” ppl are so quick to hate her bc thats how they Should feel. i dont know i feel like a broken record but its just so weird to me. maybe im being biased bc i personally find alc and some of her opinions really weird & annoying, and i do enjoy ottessa moshfegh’s writing (though i also have my own complicated feelings abt it), but like. it still strikes me as unfair. i also found it a bit confusing how alc talked abt moshfegh’s fatphobia in her books but not abt the racism or the ableism, which were also two really big criticisms of her at the time. i dont have any particular horse in that race so i wont say more but like. if ur gonna write an entire article at least mention those two, like id say theyre pretty major

i also dont like the mindset that writing abt taboo or gross things like moshfegh does is inherently bad. now i Know that this wasnt the point alc was trying to make at all, but i feel like its something that ppl on booktok and booktwt or whatever seem to believe sometimes. sometimes ppl just write abt pathetic, bigoted, awful people and use “dirty” ways to describe things, moshfegh certainly isnt the first and she definitely wont be the last. again, i have my own criticisms of her and im not saying that she shouldn’t have been criticized for anything alc mentioned, bc i feel like that did need to be acknowledged a bit, but moshfegh’s unflinching approach to awful ppl and disgusting subjects and her swift and direct writing style is what drew me to her so much. alc wasnt rlly criticizing moshfegh for writing like this, in fact she was actually pretty complimentary abt it, but this was the sentiment that i saw a lot of “booktok” ppl having when they talked abt the article

i probably wont talk much abt alc anymore but like. abt her in general, its a shame bc i do think shes a Good Writer on an objective level. she knows how to word things eloquently and in interesting ways and how to structure her points and just how to Write Well. but i also just think shes annoying and her opinions on gender and transition just dont rub me the right way. i would go looking for those tweets she made and some paragraphs from her book “females”, but im lazy and im not gonna put in extra effort for this post that is basically just a stream of consciousness rant. but it feels like her whole philosophy around transness revolves soley around her personal experiences and how much she hates being trans. she calls another trans woman “a dumb blonde” in her book for acting feminine “in the way she should”, then goes onto say that someone’s personal identity and feelings abt their gender is “on its own, worthless” and that gender is something that “other people have to decide for you”, which is the only reason why ppl transition. she also made a tweet saying how, for political reasons, people replaced the term “real” women with “cis” women, and it wasnt said in a way that was criticizing that, it was said in a “well, this is just the way it is guys, nothing wrong with it, just face the truth” sort of way. there are a bunch of other things i found weird but honestly i formed my opinions abt her a long time ago so i cant remember it all, and again i cant be fucked to find anything right now. maybe if someone asks i’ll link to a couple articles criticizing her work

ANYWAY, back to books and how ppl treat stories abt anything disturbing or upsetting like theyre inherently bad. i think at some point i’m gonna read things have gotten worse since we last spoke. ive heard a lot of bad things abt it but unsurprisingly most of it was from booktok ppl who just. Didnt like that this horror book had horror in it, and that the horror was gross and disturbed them. i guess i cant fault them bc it probably just wasnt the sort of book theyre used to reading or like, which is fine, but dont make it seem like it’s a bug and not a feature. if it disturbed u then. like. it sort of succeeded? thats the point, its horror, it was advertised as gross and disturbing. its a shame bc from what ive heard abt it it seems like the exact kind of book id love, and the concept is so interesting to me. i guess i should hold my tongue before i read it but i feel like it gets a lot of undeserved hatred

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

How did you get round to doing all this research? Maybe it's the peer pressure but I'm around your age and I'm kinda jealous how you're so knowledgeable about a 60 year old band in like, our grandparents' day lol. But I'm impressed! Keep it up ❤️

Firstly, thank you! I had a very shitty night at work last night so when I came home and saw this message it cheered me up a bit <3 Honoured that you think im knowledgeable on them!

Onto the actual question though - ive always loved the Beatles (I used to watch Yellow Submarine every week when I was about 5 or 6 or so) and I would consider them my first favourite band! But it was only at the start of this year during lockdown that I started heavily reading into them; no idea why, just suddenly became obsessed. For the first few months though, I remember I didn’t actually have much of an opinion because I just didn’t know what to make of the history - but once I started participating in discussions and stuff, that prompted me to garner more of an assured perception.

The tips and advice I would give (other then neglecting school work) are:

1. I Read A Lot!

I just tend to read a lot of books in general, and so once I became captivated with the bugs, my first instinct was to buy a book on them - so I bought Phillip Normans book on John Lennon because id heard good reviews, and then it all just spiralled from there and now ive read about 7 different books on them this year (and ive got tons more that I want to get to!). Reading different books and essays on them is a great way to get a nuanced and reasonable perspective on them, albeit an imperfect way of navigating their historiography, because naturally every biographer will be biased in some sense.

A lot of people post quotes and sections from various books and essays onto this website, so if reading isn’t really your thing or you don’t have the time etc. you can still often find the important bits on here! But personally, reading Bealtes books is sort of like comfort food to me, so I typically have one on the go.

2. Tumblr & Forums

Part of my love for the Beatles I think has been perpetuated by having this position in an online community. There are other websites in which people discuss the Beatles, and ill occasionally use them (like ill check out reddit every once in a while), but overall, I just find the Tumblr community to be the most open to actual discussion, especially if it differs from the "established" Beatles narrative presented by biographers and documentary makers etc. for the past 50+ years.

Beatles fans using sites and forums like Reddit I feel are more focussed on the bugs actual music - which is fine of course, but im not so interested in discussing that, because for the most part I like to talk about their actual characters rather then their artistry. Also from my experience in interacting with people through those sites, people are quite closed-minded when it comes to drifting from the consensus. Whereas with the Tumblr community, it feels a lot more like an actual community. Like different users have their own sense of personality and their own opinions, and I just feel like we all tend to be pretty friendly here, or at the very least, tend to be respectful. People on Tumblr also seem to be a lot more open-minded to discussing less comfortable topics rather then immediately shutting down the conversation because it doesn’t fit within the “official” Beatles narrative.

Finding accounts who you would deem trusty and then sending them questions I find is also a good way to get some perspective. If im not sure what I make of situation concerning the Beatles, sometimes ill send users who I find to be quite perceptive an ask, and get their view on the subject; I might disagree with them in the end, but its still a good way to get some perspective. Also adding to or even starting discussions is another way of getting some info!

3. Second hand stories

I don't know that many people who are as into the Beatles as I am (because, shockingly, 17 year olds dont tend to obsess over bands that broke up 50 years ago 😳) but if I meet someone who does like them, sometimes ill pick up some new stories id never heard before in books or on Tumblr. Like a couple months ago my Dad told me about the time Paul McCartney drunkenly started taking the piss out of David Blaine (x), and I thought it was so funny and bizarre, I was surprised no one on Tumblr had ever mentioned it. So if you come across a bug fan, you might be able to weasel from them a couple stories you've never heard before!

4. Documentaries & Podcasts

I haven't actually watched/listened to that many Beatles related documentaries or podcasts so far, but going off of what ive seen id recommend:

Lennon/McCartney documentary on youtube

The "One Sweet Dream" and "Another Kind Of Mind" podcasts

Ive been watching the docu-series called "1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything" recently, and I think its fab! Its not solely focussed on the Beatles, but they are discussed a lot, as well as dozens of other great musicians from the era, and other wider contexts.

This (x) podcast episode on the psychology of John Lennon

5. Interviews

Not a lot to say here, just that finding interviews of them (or people who have known them) can of course be very insightful :)

6. Find The Topics that interest you

One way that I go about researching them is that I seek out essays or forums focussing tightly on topics that I am interested in. I know that my main focuses (at least for the time being) tend to be related to the interpersonal relationship between John and Paul, and their psychology’s and upbringings etc. So for example, I might actively search for information on John and his possible ED or Pauls parents etc. In comparison, whilst I obviously still love George and Ringo, I know that they just don’t interest me quite so much, so I just don’t tend to seek out information on them.

Figure out which topics resonate with you personally, and seek out information and discussions specifically regarding them!

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 24

Previous: Codename Black Panther Meets Codename Cupid

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU, Angst, Some Fluff

Rating: PG17

Word Count: 3.2K

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Consensual Sex, Mentions of Rape (as in, wait, she raped him?) 

Summary: Black Panther is onboard and Cricket & Bunny make an important decision regarding the trajectory of their relationship. 

Penultimate Chapter

OT8 

Present Day 

         The sunlight streaks through my window, blurring my vision with its shine. I’m fairly exhausted, and sore, and dare I say, happy? I’m pulled away from my restorative slumber as my phone rings, Earth, Wind & Fire blaring. I’ve had the same ringtone since I was 19, and I’m never going to change it.

         “Fuck,” I whisper, taking it from the charger and rolling my eyes at the caller ID. “Hello?”

         “Hey, did you get kidnapped?” C asks.

         “Um, sort of? Why?” I slip out of the bedroom, tossing my robe over my barely clothed body and sit on the couch.

         “It came across my desk and I was wondering if there was something you needed to tell me,” C informs me.

         “Oh?”

         “Is there?” She pushes.

         “No, everything is fine,”

         “Okay, are you sure?”

         “Are you tapping my phone?” I ask.

         “No,”

         “Do you know someone who is?”

         “Depends, do you?” Her words are delicate, leading without being forthcoming.

         “Perhaps,” My voice pitches up at the last syllable, a hold over, a question that I refuse to ask.

         “Hmm,” That’s her tell.

         “You knew, this whole time?” I accuse.

         “Well, sort of. I was clued in a bit ago,” She tells me.

         “Did everyone know about this before me?”

         “What have they told you?” She’s trying to toe the line.

         “A little, I go back in today,” She probably knows this already.

         “Keep Jungkook close, he’ll be helpful,” C advices.

         “How did you –

         “Your onboarding will you go smoothly if you don’t fight RM and Suga,”  

         “Seriously?” I snap.

         “Seriously, trust me,” Her older sibling reeks, doling out advice I didn’t ask for.  

         “Fine,” I huff, how is it that everyone knows about this organization besides me?

         “Love you,” She says.

         “Mean it,” I respond before I hang up.

          I look towards my bedroom, where Jungkook lays, and am beyond upset. How is it possible that everyone knew about OT7, that I was being followed, except me? My own sister? Jungkook is one thing, he works for them, but her? Why didn’t she say anything sooner? That’s truly what’s making me so upset and frustrated, that I was working 14-16 hour days, beating myself up for not finding Cupid answers sooner, and my fucking sister was sitting on all the information I needed. What’s worse? She didn’t let on that she knew. She didn’t drop a hint, a breadcrumb, a wink or knowing glance. All she wanted to ask about was Jungkook, in a year, all she ever asked… Fuck sisters.

         “Cricks, do you want coffee?” Jungkook stands in the door frame to the bedroom, chest bare, ink spread across his arm and up his right peck. His hand tattoos, and the one on his upper shoulder, are my absolutely favorite. They’re sentimental, meaningful, powerful. Black with minimal color, they’re staggering against his honeyed skin. While his model status is never lost on me, it’s his thoughtfulness that gets me every time.

         “Yes please,” I reply.

         “You thinking about last night?” He moves with ease towards the small kitchen, pulling my favorite mugs from the cabinet.

         “Which part?” I ask.

         “Any part,” He shrugs, his muscles moving up and down seamlessly.

         “Yeah, a little,” I tell him.

         “What’s on your mind?” He turns, arms crossing, I swear he tries to look tough, but he just looks like a pissed off Thumper.

         “My sister knows,”

         “Knows?”

         “About you, about OT7,” I clarify.

         “How?”

         “No fucking clue, she said not to piss off Namjoon and Yoongi, though.”

         Jungkook snorts before nodding his head, “Watch out for Jimin and well, you saw Seokjin. He bottles it up and then explodes. Jimin’s just a hot head. Namjoon, is ruthless, but no one is as ruthless as Yoongi-hyung.”

         “That leaves you and Tae? And Hoseok, I don’t know much about Hoseok,”

         “You’ll really like him, you’ll like all of them. They aren’t as rough around the edges as they seem,” He pours the coffee into our mugs, reaching into the kitchen to grab the oat milk to pour into mine.

         “Did you put caramel in it?” I question, sniffing the liquid.

         “Mm, three pumps right?”

         “Yeah, what, a 1/5 of what it took you last night?” I wink. Jungkook hates when I’m blatantly sexual, murmuring a simple ‘stop’ as his cheeks become a deep crimson.

         “That’s really what you think of me?” He questions, moving to stand in front of me. I spread my legs to let him stand between, and he leans down, hands on my thighs. “After last night?”

         “You know that’s not what I think, Bunny,” I reply. “You know how highly I think of you and your sexual prowess.”

         “Then don’t fucking tease me about it,” Jungkook leans down to place a kiss on my cheek.

         “Can I ask one work question?”

         “Yes,” He grabs his cup and sits on the stool next to me.

         “What happened between Taehyung and Cupid? She says it was a difference in opinion, a misunderstanding that led to an abortion? That’s not Taehyung though, and OT7 wouldn’t make her abort anything, would they?” I sip my coffee. Fuck me if he doesn’t make it better than I do.

         “She wasn’t pregnant,” Jungkook answers.

         “She wasn’t? Why did she lie?”

         “She’s full of lies, Cricket,”

         “Okay, then what actually happened?”

         “She took advantage of him,” Jungkook’s eyes stare into his coffee, the blackness reflected in his irises.

         I nearly choke on my coffee. “Of Tae?”

         “Mm, of Tae, more than once,”

         “Did you-

         “We didn’t know, I didn’t know until I was onboarded fully. Tae went to Joon-hyung, and then it was handled.”

         “Oh my god,” I whisper. “Oh my god.”

         “Mm,” Jungkook’s signature sound is muttered, a delicate whisper against my raging anxiety.

         “She raped him?” I question.

         “Yes,” He refuses to look at me, but the clench of his jaw is unmistakable.

         “But... wow,” Is all I can say.

         “Wow?”

         “I just, if I had known, I wouldn’t have worked with her,”

         “You didn’t know,” Jungkook’s hand engulfs mine in that familiar embrace.

         “Is Tae alright?”

         “Yes, he went to a lot of therapy and was pulled from field work,”

         “The mission was terminated, fuck that’s a loaded word, but he didn’t have to –

         “No, the second Namjoon knew, he ended it. That’s one of our rules, no one engages in behavior they are not comfortable with,” He informs me, another piece of information I’m sure Namjoon will be telling me during onboarding. God, days spent listening to Namjoon go over rules? I’d rather suffer through another one of Cupid’s family dinners than sit through him. Is he like, fun? Now’s not the time to ask… but fuck me if I’m not curious.

         “She, Cupid, she said he made her abort the baby, which didn’t match up with the Taehyung I was seeing or with any evidence but then again she never gave me any records to check it with and I wasn’t allowed to look into her health record at all,” I ramble.

         “That tracks. There’s a lot you’ll find out about Cupid, and her family… there’s a lot you don’t know, Cricket. But, for right now, you need to know that there was no baby, she was never pregnant, just wanted to trick Taehyung into sticking around. It began with Yoongi, and just escalated.”

         We sip our coffee in silence. The tension is dissipating, but I’m still nervous and scared. I consorted with a known rapist, worked months with her, took her money. What will Taehyung think of me now? Do I apologize? I should apologize, when I see him. Though, that’s not the responsibility of the victim to accept an apology. I didn’t know. Like I told Yoongi, I’m not Nixon, this isn’t Watergate. No one will ask what I know and when I knew it, no one will back date and check my sources to confirm. But I will always know that I engaged with her after she committed various offenses against someone I know I will care deeply for, someone who cares deeply for the one I love.

         I know it’s not in my place to feel guilty, or maybe it is. Isn’t part of being an ally sitting in your own privilege, your own ability to feel grateful that it wasn’t you, and recognizing you have leaps and bounds in order to support those who have gone through whatever it is? I’m an ally to Jungkook, though I’m not Korean or first generation, and he’s an ally to me, though he isn’t biracial or a descendant of slaves. We both work towards the same cause though. Doesn’t sexual assault, rape, harassment, fall under the same umbrella?

         “Cricket?” Jungkook’s hand has moved to rub circles on my back.

         “Bunny?” I glance at him, bottom lip between my teeth again, though I’ve already gnawed off every dead skin cell.

         “Hm?”

         I always smile when he makes that sweet sound, or its derivative, mm.

         “Do you still want to move in, or was last night an over correction for the fight?” I question.

         “You’re really doubting me today, aren’t you?” His brows slope against his eyes, his ministrations against my back freeze. Those furrowed little lines on the flesh where the slope of his nose meets his forehead mark his deep concentration.

         “I’m not doubting you. I just want to make sure. You know, we’re in our twenties. We are prone to fall for the cohabitation effect.”

         “The what?”

         “Couples who move in together as a reaction to fear their relationship will dissolve, often move in to preserve something. Then when they realize they aren’t compatible or don’t want to continue being together, they don’t break up because they live together,” I inform him.

         “Is this one of your theories?”

         “No, it’s Dr. Meg Jay, The Defining Decade. I have two copies, you should read it,”

         “Okay, put it on my bedside table and I will,”

         “Oh, so you’re, in?” I smile.

         “Oh, I’m in, completely,” Jungkook kisses me soundly, hand creeping under my shirt to caress the bare skin.

         “We have to get ready,” I tell him, tilting my head to grant him access to my neck, which has thoroughly missed his touch in the last eight hours.

         “Fuck it,” He murmurs, the vibration of his tenor voice echoing through my skin.

         “Bunny, they’re going to be so mad, and I know Namjoon already hates me,” My hands gently ghost down his chest, drawing shapes against his abs before resting on the hem of his boxer briefs. He’s so tempting, all skin and muscle, sweeping bleached locks and soulful eyes. I was right for driving into them.

         “He doesn’t hate you,”

         “Yoongi at least-

         “They don’t hate you, we’re just a unit and you bring new energy to the entire group, that’s all it is.” He confirms.

         Pulling the inner flesh of my lip between my teeth, I exhale. “What if they hate me?”

         “They won’t,”

         “Jungkook,”

         “Y/N”

         “Will that change your opinion of me?” I ask.

         “Oh honey, of course not,” He assures. I don’t know what it is, blind faith and trust I guess, but I always believe him on the first go.

         “Okay, do you want to shower before we go?”

         “Together?” He asks. His hands are still under my shirt, gently palming my latte skin until it burns with desire. I hate how good he is, how seductive, sensual, misleading his bunny smile and endearing eyes are. I want him always.

         “Why else would I’ve skipped the underwear?” I move his hand under the hem of my night shirt. He growls ever so softly at the feeling of my bare ass in is hand. “And to think, you thought I was kidding about your work last night! Sore or night, I think we’ve got enough time for me to prove you wrong.”

~~~~~

         “Here’s my question,” I start, directing OT7’s focus to me. It’s been three hours of listening to Namjoon go over protocols and procedures. I haven’t smiled once, well, Jungkook did walk by and wink at me, which I’ll admit, made me blush. This is my second time in the large conference room, and together we’re discussing the case, my knowledge of the Lee’s, and where we stand now. It feels like a scene out of Be More Chill, but instead of data dumping everything I’ve learned, they’re painstakingly pulling it from me. Yoongi’s got my hard drives, all my notes, he’s cracked every password and firewall defense I set up. Of course he is, he’s Min Yoongi.

         “Yoongi, how the fuck did you become so off the grid? I couldn’t find you, period.”

         “That’s part of my job, Black Panther,” He smirks.

         “Your work on Enterprises was under Park Yoongi, and you left no visible trace on the company. You don’t show up in alum magazines or columns, no birth certificate, anything of public record is gone. What the fuck did you do?”

         “That’s for me to know,” Yoongi winks at me.

         “And Namjoon, what the fuck happened when you turned 16?”

         “What do you mean?” He asks, puzzled by the question.

         “You are everywhere, every magazine, every scholarly article, on every universities formal lecture docket, and then poof. Like you didn’t exist,” I stare at him, he’s far less of a dick than I previously thought. We have some similarities too, actually, OT7 and I are far more alike than I realized.

         “I did exist, I was just busy training,” He shrugs.

         “You started training at 16?”

         “A little before that, has JK not told you?”

         “He’s hardly told me anything,”

         “Even after you found out?” Jimin asks.

         “Even then, what was it you said?”

         “They’re not my stories to tell,” Jungkook shrugs. He’s across the table, in his designated spot next to Taehyung and I desperately wish I could hold his hand. Who. Have. I. Become?

         “Mm,” Namjoon nods, “I was brought on from an early age, trained and then helped shape this group into what it is today.”

         “Namjoon’s the reason we exist,” Hoseok says.

         “He helped select all of us, leads us, makes the decisions,” Jungkook says.

         “So your stunted upbringings trace back to him?” I ask.

         “They trace back to the people above him, Black Panther,” Yoongi corrects.

         “Right, the mythical beings above Namjoon. Do they exist? Have you seen them?”

         “They exist, and they’re a little terrifying,” Seokjin adds.

         “So Namjoon isn’t the end all be all? He’s not even the oldest!”

         “True, he does have to listen to Seokjin,” Jimin laughs. “Sometimes, when hyung is mad, he just launches at Joonie, it’s so funny.”

         “You have to listen to him too,” Yoongi’s glare cuts through him.

         “So do you, Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin doesn’t back down.

         “Anyway, Namjoon-hyung had to go through everything first, that’s why he disappeared from the worlds stage.” Seokjin finishes the tale, bringing us back together.

         “Yoongi joined shortly after,” Namjoon continues, “The rest fell into place, well, except Golden Maknae,”

         “Jungkook?” I turn to face my boyfriend, his nose is scrunched, and his hand is behind his head, scratching his neck.

         “He nearly left, luckily, Joonie always knows what to say,” Taehyung says. “I was what, technically last?”

         “Technically, yes,”

         “Which is why we were in training together,” Jungkook reminds him.

         “So you’re one big happy family?” I ask.

         “We fight, but it’s been a decade, we know each other too well,” Yoongi speaks. “which is why when Jungkookie fell in love, we were caught off guard.”

         “Mm,” I nod, mimicking his gesture. “Though you left him off my romantic partners,”

         “Well, that was his request,” Namjoon says.

         “We’ve all experienced heartbreak and fallen out of love. We all hoped that JK wouldn’t be stunted because of our work,” Seokjin explains.

         “Can we not?” Jungkook asks his hyungs. They all turn to him, sensing his discomfort, and laugh.

         “Fine, fine. Back to work,” Namjoon advises.

         “What exactly is the next phase of the plan?” I wonder. “I mean, Cupid doesn’t want to work with me anymore, so what’s next?”

         “Good you asked, Black Panther,” Namjoon changes the slide and passes me another file. “The next phase requires little work from you, aside from ensuring we have all your evidence. The case moves up the line to the Feds and the other countries who are indicting them.”

         “Who all is getting indicted?” I ask.

         “Hopefully the entire board, the entire Codename Valentine family, minus Cupid,”

         “What will be left for her?”

         “Depends on what they take,” Yoongi sips his coffee. He’s much easier to read in person, his features, however angelic, are deeply expressive.

         “What about their investors?”

         Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to respond, “Their money will be frozen for a while, then returned to them.”

         “Do you find it deeply romantic that you’re citing their financial downfall when that’s how you met Cupid?” I ask him.

         “I prefer a slight twist of fate,” Seokjin nods, the bob of his head accompanying the pout. “When will this go down?”

         “The Feds and a few other groups move in on Lee Enterprises early next week,” Jungkook answers. I remain confused as to what he exactly does within this group, it seems like a little of everything but what is everything?

         “So, that’s it? I did my part?”

         “Yes, you did, exceptionally well,” Namjoon answers.

         “You kept her snooping for over a year, all of which we used to nab the rest of her family,” Yoongi starts, “Sure, you were an unexpected parasite for a minute, but you’ve done good work.”

         “First of all, rude, secondly, what will you do now?” I glance at each of their expressions, they’ve mastered the slightly inquisitive yet passively uninterested poker face. It’s impressive, their collective shift in attitude, the quiet “hmm” Yoongi hums, the eyes widening on Jimin, the unmistakable panic within Hoseok, all gone within seconds, like a musician losing an award in real time.

         “What do you mean?” Hoseok asks.

         “When this is over, what will you do? You’ve worked on this for nearly a decade? Who will OT7 be after this?”

         “Wow, ask the horrifying existential questions,” Jimin attempts a chuckle, but it comes out as a strained cough.

         “We’ll move onto our next mission,” Namjoon responds confidently.

         “Which is?”

         “You will not know unless we need your services,” He snips.

         “Okay but why onboard me? Doesn’t that already make me like an honorary member? No longer OT7 but OT8?”

         “No,” The unison chorus of voices that radiates off the glass is chilling. Accompanying the harsh put down, a chorus of laughs.

         “Cult vibes,” I mutter.

         “We’ll be fine, Black Panther. The question remains, what will you do?” Namjoon asks.

         I don’t have an answer, I don’t have a response, all I have is the panicked look on my face. They know I haven’t got a fucking clue what my next career move is. Will I become a member of their team, or a part of the larger organization? Will I go back to aiding depraved housewives in their mission to defame their cheating husbands? I have enough money to hold me over for a month or two, but I guess the question isn’t whether or not I will go back to cheating husbands and slutty mistresses, but do I want to?

         I don’t know.

Next: To Have Loved and Lost

[canonicallyanxious]

I feel like s5 was far more cohesive and generally did a better job of progressing the diff plot points organically. Whereas s6 seems very compromised; sometimes missing the mark w messy writing. I've now become conditioned to expect a mix of good clips, "almost got it" clips , underwhelming clips and a feeling that theres a missing clip when viewing the wkly output. I expect thag many of the plots points will reach a clumsy end, but id be delighted to be proven wrong

hey anon! i can def see where you’re coming from with that. tbh i feel like s5 kind of had an easier job than s6 in some ways. like it’s introducing a totally new cast of characters which is definitely a challenge but conversely that means they get to have room to breathe and also there’s maybe less stakes because the audience is less invested about the characters. whereas s6 has to follow up a strong s5 that honestly very few people expected to enjoy as much as they did [i mean i distinctly remember the general fandom consensus when it was revealed there was going to be a new gen and to put it lightly it was not very positive lol] and provide continuity for already established characters and dynamics which probably adds a lot of pressure. not that that’s an excuse for weaknesses in the writing this season, i just feel like it’s worth acknowledging at least a little bit that the writers of s6 were facing a pretty tall task here, particularly when a character like fatou is pretty unprecedented not just in the skamverse but [as far as I understand it anyway] in german media in general.

my personal opinion is that when i compare seasons 5 and 6 i actually think season 6′s writing is pretty strong for the most part. Like i think season 5′s greatest strengths include thematic coherence and the interweaving of those themes with the main’s character arc, and i think those strengths continue to shine through in s6 in terms of the themes surrounding fatou’s main arc. but i do think the writers are kind of relying a lot on the audience’s ability to read between the lines which can run a pretty big risk of being too impenetrable to your main audience. it’s a tough line to walk between not spoonfeeding your intentions to your audience but also telling your story with the appropriate amount of clarity and i think they are more successful with that at certain times than at others. as far as i can remember this episode was the first i really noticed less coherence throughout the entire thing, but i think i would have to rewatch the others again [as well as this one] to be sure.

as far as how this season will be resolved - i do think the success of the season at this point hinges pretty heavily on that. and druck has kind of had a history of not sticking the landing imo [such as with seasons 3 and 4] which does make me kind of nervous. i’m going to reserve judgment until we actually see how they try to stick the landing as they pleasantly surprised me with the end of s5, but i am def keeping a very close eye on what they do with these next two eps because it’s going to be very crucial to how the rest of the season feels in retrospect imo.

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

For two weeks now, the death of George Floyd, a black man killed by a police officer in Minneapolis, has gripped the nation, sparking nationwide protests calling for justice and changes to the criminal justice system. But this latest wave of demonstrations isn’t an isolated event. It’s part of a much larger movement, often grouped under the umbrella of Black Lives Matter, which has protested police killings and police misconduct since the early 2010s, after the shootings of Trayvon Martin in Florida and Michael Brown in Missouri.

In fact, research by Vanessa Williamson of the Brookings Institution and political scientists Kris-Stella Trump and Katherine Levine Einstein shows that the number of Black Lives Matter protests1 in response to police killings of black civilians has grown from only a few in a handful of cities in 2013 to over 500 protests in nearly 200 cities in 2014.

But what effect do these protests have?

Political science, it turns out, actually has a lot to say about protests, even though it’s really hard to pinpoint what makes one protest effective and another not. Broadly speaking, though, there are four main ways the literature tries to evaluate a protest:

Did it raise awareness?

Did public opinion change?

Were there institutional changes as a result?

Were there electoral consequences, either intended or unintended?

First, protests, at their most basic level, raise awareness about issues that might not yet be in the mainstream. This might not sound all that important, but research by political scientist Deva Woodly of The New School shows that protest movements can fundamentally alter the way we talk — and think — about a specific issue.

Examining the protest movements around the fight for marriage equality from 1994 to 2004, Woodly found that these movements succeeded in fostering a “common sense” of understanding around an issue by tapping into people’s sense of equality, relying on phrases like “love” and “regular people.”2 And in the case of the protests around Floyd’s death, that might mean changing how Americans talk and think about the disparate impact policing has on black communities and communities of color.

We don’t know yet how language around criminal justice and policing reform will change as a result of these protests, but there is some evidence that such shifts might be underway. Using Google Trends data comparing Google search behavior prior to and after May 25 — the day Floyd was killed — it does seem as if more individuals are interrogating racism in their own lives, with searches like “am I racist” nearly tripling. Phrases like “abolish police,” “defund police” and “police abolition” — concepts that have been central to the Black Lives Matter movement but less mainstream when discussing police reform — have also seen sharp upticks in interest.

What this tells us is that these protests are, in some way, raising awareness: People are seeking, or at least googling, more information.

In addition to increasing awareness of an issue, social movements can also change public attitudes toward it. This, of course, is hard to measure. But in at least some of the initial polling on Floyd’s death and the protests, we can see that public opinion is coalescing. An overwhelming majority of Americans, for instance, say that Floyd’s death was wrong and the police officers involved should be held accountable. Opinion around the protests is much murkier, even if most Americans are sympathetic to those protesting.

In studying how social movements change public opinion, Taeku Lee of the University of California, Berkeley found that protests can play a large part. His analysis of the civil rights movement in the 1960s found that though the protests weren’t initially popular, sentiment among nonsouthern white Americans moved from a sense of apathy to one of moral outrage. And in my own research of the civil rights protests, I found evidence of less racism and more support for affirmative action among white people from counties that had peaceful protests.

However, peaceful protests in other contexts — such as the anti-Vietnam War movement, the environmental movement and the Occupy Wall Street movement — have been less effective in moving public opinion. For instance, concern about the environment has stayed relatively stable despite growing activism. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why these protests haven’t been as effective, but it’s important to remember that media coverage can go a long way in influencing how the public thinks about different protests.

One big unknown is whether media coverage of the violence associated with some of the current protests might end up undermining support for the broader movement. A recent study by Princeton University political scientist Omar Wasow suggests that could happen. In his examination of protests during the civil rights movement, he found that areas that saw violent protests reported an increase in President Richard Nixon’s vote share in the 1968 election. (Nixon campaigned heavily on a “law and order” message that some argued was a coded racist message to white America.)

Wasow’s study fits into a broader consensus that nonviolent protests tend to yield outcomes that achieve a movement’s goals better than violent protests do. But there is some research that pushes back on this. For instance, another recent study by political scientists Ryan Enos, Aaron Kaufman and Melissa Sands found that the 1992 Los Angeles uprising — a violent reaction to the acquittal of four police officers caught on camera beating Rodney King, a black man — didn’t spark a backlash. Instead, they found that the protests may have led to an increase in support for funding local public schools. Similarly, the Black Lives Matter protests following the killings of Michael Brown and Eric Garner by police officers seemed to have led to decreased racial resentment among white Americans — especially among younger people — even though there was violence associated with some of the protests.

One important thing to remember here is that minority-led protests historically tend to draw more of a police presence than predominantly white protests, and the police are often more likely to use force against minority-led protests. So in many instances, the violence we may associate with these protests isn’t because these protests are inherently more violent; it’s because they draw more intense police contact to begin with. So if the research from the 1992 uprising and recent Black Lives Matter protests is any indication, it’s possible that violence in some protests may not entirely upend a movement’s goals.

There does seem to be some consensus in the literature that many protests are successful in spurring institutional change, at least at the federal level. As University of Pennsylvania political scientist Daniel Gillion has found, protests have tended to push legislators to vote more in line with protesters’ goals. The legislation that emerged from the civil rights movement is one such example, but Gillion also argues that the protests in 1968 pushed legislators to pass bills improving public housing infrastructure. Similarly, researchers Maneesh Arora, Davin Phoenix, and Archie Delshad, then of the University of California, Irvine, found that after the 2014 Black Lives Matter protests, state governments proposed and passed more bills aimed at addressing police accountability. And political scientists Logan Dancey and Jasmine Masand, then both of Wesleyan University, found that in Congress, black legislators engaged with online discussions of race and policing more frequently than their white colleagues.

Protests don’t just impact legislation. Megan Ming Francis, a political scientist at the University of Washington, has written extensively about how protests and civil rights organizations like the NAACP have effectively applied political pressure to the courts. For instance, Francis describes how the NAACP simultaneously fought to change public opinion at the grassroots level while also bringing lawsuits to combat lynching, segregation and Jim Crow-era laws in the courts.

More broadly, this research underscores all the ways in which protests are often viewed as a political resource that allows marginalized groups to amplify their voices when traditional methods, such as voting, might not adequately represent their preferences.

And finally, though protests may often be thought of as a last resort, they can also have important downstream consequences for elections. Wasow’s work and my own research shows that large, peaceful protests during the civil rights movement actually helped Democratic presidential candidates — a finding that Gillion and Stanford’s Sarah Soule have observed in more recent protests as well.

But of course, as we also know from Wasow’s research, protests can have unintended consequences — i.e., more violent protests corresponding with an uptick in Nixon’s presidential vote share — so it’s not entirely clear what effect these protests will have on the general election. On the one hand, they could mobilize the Republican base — although there are reasons why this might not be the case.

If the party tries to meet protesters’ demands, the protests could also mobilize the Democratic base. Presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden and others seem to have begun to take action, although it’s still unclear where the conversation around police reform may head next.

However, it’s also possible that the effects of these protests will be minimal come November. It’s still too early to know what institutional changes or electoral consequences might result, but whether there will be an effect — including substantive legal action at the local, state and federal levels — is a real question.

[keelanvargas1133]

Practice Run - Is Mary Reed Haunted?

Group Members: Keelan, Julia, Patty, Britta

Question: “Is Mary Reed haunted?” 

Direct Findings: 

The majority of our survey respondents, exactly 85%, believe in ghosts

Many of the reasons people believe in the rumor is because of personal feeling associated with the building 

The majority of the respondents who do not believe in the rumor demonstrate solid logic and seem to have thought about where the rumor comes from and if there is any evidence behind it. 

Methods: 

1 interview

Survey with 20 responses

35 minute observation

In order to gather our primary research about the ghost of Mary Reed, we used a mixed method. First, we used a survey to gather thoughts and opinions from other students on campus. Because it is a rumor, we were curious to see how many students had heard the rumor in order to get an idea of its popularity. We also interviewed a faculty member whose office is inside Mary Reed. Finally, we spent about 35 minutes at dusk in Mary Reed, exploring the building and looking out for any paranormal activity. 

We surveyed 20 different DU undergrad students that we either knew or asked to take at the beginning of our other classes. We conducted our interview as well as our observation inside of Mary Reed. 

Our surveys were printed out and given to respondents then collected back. Our interview was more of an informal conversation with a faculty member who works inside Mary Reed. As far as our observation goes, we hung out in the building at dusk. We attempted to play spooky music and call for Mary Reed to see if we could notice anything out of the ordinary about the building. 

Most of our survey respondents had heard about the rumor and those who believed it seemed to base their opinion more on emotion than logic. During our observation, we explored the building and noted any differences that we felt during our time walking around. There was a group consensus that we felt spooky but we did not notice anything visibly or audibly noteworthy that was paranormal.

Results: 

Survey:

85% believed in ghosts

20% said they had personal encounters with ghosts 

““A ghost kept opening up a door upstairs” 

“On the Queen Mary in Long Beach I have heard music coming from broken down elevator shafts and seen objects appear out of nowhere” 

“Spirit that lived in my childhood house and was centered in my room, it was harmless but I knew someone was there the entire time”

“My house is very old, and my friends say it’s haunted”

55% had been inside Mary Reed 

80% had heard the rumor that Mary Reed was haunted 

Those who believed in the rumor provided the following explanations

“I do because they close at night on purpose”

“I heard the elevator was haunted”

“Yes because she's spooky and if I were her I’d love to come and mess with students” 

“Yes, just based on the heebeegeebees I get every time I’m in there”

“If the rumor is this popular, it’s probably haunted” 

“I think the ghost is Mary Reed herself because I feel as if it is her domain to haunt. She has a whole building named after her, I feel as though my spirit would find a place of solace within a building in my name. I believe she is lonesome and haunts those in the building because she simply wants attention, like moaning myrtle in the Harry Potter”

“I always get really cold in the building”

“That building gives me the chills every time I walk in”

Those who had not heard the rumor were instructed to read a short excerpt about the rumor and then respond. Here are the responses provided:

“Possibly, if I were to see anything interesting going on. Maybe talk to someone who had an encounter with the Mary Reed Ghost. Otherwise, the excerpt is too vague to be convincing” 

“Seems credible”

“Before I assess the credibility I feel like I would need to know who has experienced these encounters and who is compiling the information” 

“Yes, that stuff is not explainable by anything else. Especially when there's no other people around. Its ghosts!”

“Yes I believe there is a such thing as paranormal activity and spirits can attach themselves to objects and people” 

“I'm not really sold on the idea because no one has told me evidence on encounters, they've just told me that it is haunted” 

Interview:

For the interview, we spoke to Lin Ma, a Senior Research Analyst whose office is located inside Mary Reed. When asked if she believed if the building was haunted, she said no. But, she mentioned that she has heard lots of people talk about the rumor and has had colleagues tell her about encounters that their students have had while studying in the building. 

Lin said she has never experienced anything spooky but said that when she was there late at night, she has thought about it but overall “feels very safe.” As our final question, we asked Lin if she thought the ghost was Mary Reed. She explained to us that it could be a possibility because in Asian cultures, it is believed that your spirit stays alive after you die. 

Observation:

We decided to go to observational research and “ghost hunt” at dusk. We went on a Thursday night which was snowy and cold. We took the elevator up to the fourth floor but were not able to access the fifth, sixth, or seventh floor with our ID cards. During the interview, Lin mentioned that there are offices up there but with our Pio IDs, we were not allowed to get to these floors. The elevator was quite small and had a door with a door knob to get in and out. It was quite old. 

We then walked around the building, searching for stairs, but could not find any. WE finally went to the Renaissance Room and spent some time in there playing spooky music and hoping that the ghost of Mary Reed would show herself in some way. 

Although we did not hear or see anything noteworthy of being paranormal, we all felt significantly more heavy while exploring the building, almost as if there was extra gravity. 

Discussion:

Based on our mixed method research, we cannot conclude confidently about whether Mary Reed is a haunted building on the DU campus. While the majority of our survey respondents had heard the rumor, those who believed it seemed to be working more with emotional and gut feeling evidence. On the other hand, those who did not believe in the rumor spoke about significantly more logical arguments concerning the lack of evidence and did not believe that it was true solely because it was a popular rumor. 

Based on our interview with Lin Ma, we can continue to note the popularity of the rumor, but Lin has never experienced anything paranormal and works in her office in Mary Reed everyday, even late at night. 

Finally, based on observation, nothing extremely out of the ordinary happened to us while inside Mary Reed at dusk, despite feeling heavy and spooked during our observation. Although, we believe it is noteworthy that the general DU population does not have access to the 5th, 6th, or 7th floor, especially because according to Lin Ma there are offices up there. 

In conclusion, our research does not conclude whether or not there is really a ghost in Mary Reed. Through our research, although, we did note how popular the rumor surrounding this topic really is.

[eggoreviews]

12 ‘Unpopular’ Viddy Game Opinions

I’ve seen this topic floating around a lot, but didn’t think I had enough ‘unpopular but maybe not’ opinions about games to make a post. Turns out I do! So if you see this and I say something blasphemous, remember it’s just my opinion and my personal experiences with the games I list. Hope you enjoy or hey, maybe even agree with some of this!

Note: Can’t stress enough. This is just me. Also, spoilers under the cut!

12. The opening of Kingdom Hearts II isn’t as terrible as everyone says

Okay, so it’s not brilliant, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s the worst. For those not in the know, KH2′s opening is a basically a massive slog where you play as a character you don’t know or care about with seemingly no real link to the events of the previous game. The general consensus is that there’s some interesting stuff in here, but it’s buried among endless dialogue that really doesn’t mean much. And they’re right, but I really think there’s some great stuff here that people tend to gloss over. The music and the motif of Twilight Town is atmospheric, there’s some genuinely intriguing plot elements that are woven into Roxas’ story and believe it or not, the stuff that happens here is intrinsic to the rest of the game. So yeah, it drags on a little, but I don’t think KH2 would be miles better without this opening.

11. I loved Breath of the Wild’s final boss

One of the problems I see talked about with Breath of the Wild is that the boss fights are fairly mediocre, especially the very last one, Dark Beast Ganon. And I couldn’t disagree more. I think every boss in the game is wonderfully crafted, intense, challenging and great for testing you on what you’ve learned throughout the game by encouraging you to make creative use of your slate powers and the flurry rush technique. And while Mr. Pig Man at the end here is sort of easy and short, it serves as a brilliantly epic finale to damn near perfect game. While the difficulty is mostly gone after the mammoth fight with Calamity Ganon, it’s still just as intense as you frantically fire off arrows into the massive beast in front of you. Plus, the design of this thing is one of the best looking monsters in the game, so I really don’t understand the dislike for this ending.

10. I really like Crash of the Titans

Okay, so maybe childhood nostalgia has something to do with this pick, but every Crash fan I’m aware of seems to hate this game. But I don’t really know where the hate comes from! I played the PS2 version of this and I thought it was a genuinely fun 3D platformer with a variety of locations, good visuals, well-designed boss battles and even a vague story you can sort of follow! The game’s main gameplay feature is also brilliantly integrated, as using Aku Aku to possess various monsters throughout the game keeps everything interesting. One thing I will say though, that tiger dude you have to fight about halfway through is the most annoying thing I’ve ever had to endure in a game.

9. Life Is Strange: Before the Storm is BAD

I loved Life Is Strange when it first dropped, so I was beyond excited when they announced a prequel from Chloe’s perspective. But I really think they dropped the ball and they dropped it hard. But everyone else seems to adore this game! For me, this wasn’t a touch on the original. For a start, they dropped out one of the main mechanics of the first game, the time travel, which they then replaced with a much less interesting ‘Backtalk’ feature, which was then only used about twice throughout the game. Instead of interesting, developed characters reacting to genuinely dangerous or heartfelt situations, it felt to me like a bunch of one-dimensional teenagers who are edgy for the sake of being edgy. Chloe spends the majority of the game being a dick to her mother and bunking off class to spend time with Rachel, who she has literally known for like a day and their sudden relationship drops out of nowhere. Not that I didn’t enjoy the emotional moments of their relationship, it just didn’t feel like it stemmed from anywhere, unlike Max and Chloe from the first game. And the game’s attempts at villains were also rubbish compared to the first, with Damien (random scary knife guy who doesn’t really tie into the plot that much) and Eliot (who doesn’t appear for the whole game and suddenly goes full incel on Chloe when she breaks into Rachel’s house). Yeah I think you can tell I had some problems with this one.

8. Dishonored: Death of the Outsider was also a hot mess

I LOVE the Dishonored series. The first game and its DLCs are amazing, the second game was arguably even better. And then this happened. In this one, you play as Billie Lurk, a character I love, and Daud comes back, a character I also love. But both of them are incredibly badly written and it doesn’t feel like there’s any development to them or even much reason for them to do what they’re doing. This entry took the mystery surrounding the Outsider and basically did a big poo on it, giving us the revelation that he was apparently HUMAN this whole time. I think that was the nail in the coffin that made me sort of think this was a bit rubbish. While the combat and side missions were as brilliant as ever, the level designs felt less creative than other entries in the series and lacked variety or colour, all the side characters were entirely forgettable and to wrap it all up, they killed Daud offscreen. Out of nowhere, they just killed him, mentioned it offhand in a cutscene and that was that. If you like this game, fair enough, but it kind of baffles me that more people don’t see this in the game.

7. Mario Galaxy 2 is good. It’s just sort of good

Some people cite this as being one of the best 3D platformers of all time, and that’s fair enough, but I just kind of see this one as ‘good’. Sure, it has a good, satisfying control scheme for the most part, the level design is creative and the bosses and puzzles are pretty standard for a Mario title, but still enjoyable. However, sometimes, the floaty physics and weird knockback effect from jumping into walls led to quite a lot of unfair deaths, especially if I’d been punished for messing up already by losing a life, only to then immediately be punished again by falling into the void. Plus, I found Yoshi near impossible to control at some points with the motion controls. So yeah, this one is genuinely enjoyable, but I don’t think I’d personally put it with the best of all time.

6. I LOVE Dragon Quest IX TO DEATH

This is a game in a legendary franchise that consistently almost always see ranked at the very bottom of the pile in the series. But I really don’t understand how or why. Okay so your protagonist and party are basically silent and don’t have a lot of character, but I don’t see this as a reason to totally write off the game! The side characters, villains and story are all amazing and well-developed, the world is huge, colourful and interesting, the monsters are brilliantly creative and Dragon Quest’s signature lame sense of humour is gratefully carried through the whole game. The music is always brilliant and atmospheric and the bosses are just as memorable as each character you meet. What was everyone’s problem?? This is genuinely one of the best RPGs I’ve ever played and if you haven’t had a chance to pick it up, it is so, so worth it.

5. Sonic Adventure is a broken mess

So before I kick this one off, I’m not someone who hates Sonic and I’m not here to slate the whole franchise, but considering this game is often considered to be one of the best in the series, I thought it was definitely worth addressing. When I first played this, I literally couldn’t believe this was made in 1998, AFTER Mario 64 and yet it’s so broken! The physics and control scheme are totally wonky and hard to control, the unending amount of glitches make a fair amount of the stages almost unplayable, the voice acting and facial animation is cringey and oddly broken and yet, this was all on the Dreamcast. The most powerful console of the time. And I don’t think I even need to mention how boring some of the later stages get, with Big the Cat’s fishing section being the main offender. I can’t vouch for Adventure 2 as I haven’t had a chance to play yet, but I really hope it isn’t like this.

4. Dragon Age Origins is the best Dragon Age

Dragon Age has always been a popular RPG series, but I think it properly shot to fame once Inquisition dropped in 2014. And don’t get me wrong, I liked Inquisition! The world was colourful and expansive and the characters were fairly memorable, but I still think the best experience you can get is in the series’ first entry, Origins. While it’s pretty easy to see that it’s slightly dated considering it’s ten years old now, the best characters and story in the series I think is here. Each companion you recruit is varied and developed and the story wraps up brilliantly in the end with each companion and army you meet playing a different role in the final battle. Plus, I kind of can’t forgive Inquisition for making Leliana lose her sense of humour and making her kinda boring.

3. Oblivion is better than Skyrim

Okay so I’m not sure exactly how unpopular this is, but I just thought Oblivion was miles better than Skyrim ended up being. Just to clear it up, I still love Skyrim and I thought it built on the series’ combat system and variety of enemies really well and still provided an enjoyable experience. But Oblivion feels like more of an adventure you feel at home in. The story is dense and full of twists and turns. The soundtrack has some of the most atmospheric music I’ve ever heard, the world is full of bright colours, each city is vastly different and has its own lore and I found some of this to be absent from Skyrim. I’d go into more detail, but I think the simple fact is that Oblivion had so much more I liked than Skyrim.

2. I don’t think The Witcher III is all that amazing (in some regards)

This by no means says that I don’t like the game, because I do, but I think it has more flaws than people let on. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of the stuff people praise about this game is true, the quests are in-depth and masterfully crafted, the characters, especially Geralt, are extremely memorable. In fact, Geralt is one of my favourite game protagonists. But most of the problems I had were in terms of the gameplay. The combat, while fast-paced and satisfying, can sometimes feel a little finicky, so a lot of precision is needed. However, I felt that the world itself didn’t particularly interest me and the music is often ambient but outside of combat, isn’t anything special. Mostly though, the leveling system I found to be a bit wonky. I did absolutely everything I could in the first area of the game; all the side quests, treasure hunts, killed a whole bunch of monsters etc. And then I arrive in the second area and find I’m too underleveled to do literally anything. The majority of the quests have too high a level cap, a lot of the monsters kill me very quickly. And because the bulk of EXP farming is in the quests, I’m sort of stuck in an endless loop of constantly not being strong enough to do anything. On top of that, all my equipment keeps breaking and I’m finding that repair kits are extremely few and far between and that makes me even WEAKER. It’s something I’m gonna need to persevere with I think, but hey, this is just my experience with it.

1. Ocarina of Time, as amazing as it is, may have overstayed its welcome as best game of all time

I reckon this might be the most controversial, so it’s number 1. Let me preface this by saying I really like Ocarina and I agree that it was innovative for the RPG genre at the time. There’s a hell of a lot in this game that we have to thank for the games we have today. But considering how far the gaming industry has come since then and the sheer amount of high quality games we’ve been getting year after year, is still fair to call this the best game ever? When more recent games have taken what Ocarina started and built upon it? Games like Breath of the Wild, Horizon Zero Dawn, Red Dead Redemption II, God of War all gave us expansive, beautiful worlds and a story you can really get stuck into. And all the time, more and more games of this caliber are coming out. So yes, of course Ocarina of Time deserves a place in the hall of fame, it was revolutionary and still holds up really well today! I just can’t help but think there have been plenty of games since then, as flawed as some of them may be, that have improved upon the formula tenfold since Ocarina’s release.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Just to reiterate, these are all just my opinions and my experiences with the games I mentioned, so pls don’t attack me. Got any viddy game opinions you think are sort of not popular? Drop them down below if you feel like it!

[polyamoryus]

Polyamory from the eye of the “unicorn” or the “third” (or.1)

When people say they are "in a relationship," they are generally referring to being one of a couple. They progress from the initial spark, to dating, to having sex, becoming exclusive, moving in together, getting married, and so on.

Polyamory (from Greek πολύ poly, "many, several", and Latin amor, "love") is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. It has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy".

If you're a poly newbie or more monogamously-oriented, there are probably a few phrases in here that you will be unfamiliar with. While some polyamorous relationships are not open to newcomers; other relationships allow new partnerships to develop. Like many other subcultures, the poly community has developed its own language. We use words like “compersion,” The feeling of joy associated with seeing a loved one love another; contrasted with jealousy. We use words like “polyfidelity” to describe an intimate relationship structure where all members are considered equal partners and agree to restrict sexual activity to only other members of the group., to distinguish them from relationships whose members are free to add new relationships. “Triad.” A polyamorous relationship between three people. Usually, this refers to a relationship where all three people are actively involved with each other (A is dating B, B is dating C, and A is dating C), also known as a "delta" or "triangle" triad or the more recently known as "throuple." The term can also refer to "vee" relationships, where two people are both dating one person (the hinge) but not each other. These relationships can be either open or closed/poly-fi.

A quad is the same as a triad, only with four people instead of three.

I couldn’t say Polyamory is either a good nor bad idea. It's a choice, just as monogamy is a choice. I'm polyamorous, so I like it.

I am polyamorous. I have a romantic relationship with multiple people at the same time.

I think I have always been polyamorous. Since I was a little kid, I have never liked the idea of having to pick sides. I remember my mom pointing out Brad Pitt and in my head, I thought Angelina Jolie looked just as nice as Brad, not one over the other, but both beautiful people. I remember fantasizing about couples in high school that were together, rather than just a cute boy or girl. I thought I was just a horny little teenager, but come to grow up and find out, it is a very normal feeling for some people. While it may not be an ideal fantasy or lifestyle for everyone, I found comfort in meeting likeminded individuals that shared the same thoughts or interests.

Having been in a triad for the past 6 years, Id say I have a great deal of experience when it comes to living the polyamorous lifestyle. Its not as complicated as it seems. Ive even met a dozen people who say they feel a sense of suffocating or being tied down in monogamous relationships. I was lucky to meet my partners at the young age of 18. Not really having much personal experience on monogamous relationships worked, other than what was displayed at home or on tv, all Ive really known is being poly. Ive always hated the idea of cheating, and even in my own family, Ive witnessed the urge to venture outside of the marriage. Ive always seen the curiosity, and in my head polyamory has always made sense.

When I met my girlfriend and boyfriend it was at a concert that I attended with a group of girls for promotional modeling. My now girlfriend was the top model. The first night I didn’t notice him a whole lot, but I knew they were together. She totally took the spotlight, I couldn’t take my eyes off her most of the evening. I remember thinking about her a lot after that night. She had my number and would text me sweet things and make me wonder about a lot. I knew she had a boyfriend, but she was totally flirting with me, and she was inviting me to come hang out with them.

Being so young, you could say i was somewhat prude to the whole thing. There was a lot of unspoken questions, that I just felt would be answered the more I came around. I was newly 18, at this age, I really wanted to be motivated in the right way. Ready to leave the nest, I was looking for a new experience. Boy , did I find it.

I never felt what I was doing was wrong, even though I can admit, it felt a little naughty. I was extremely attracted to her, and as my interest in her grew, so did my interest for him. Being the “third” I never wanted to step on her toes, or make her feel uncomfortable with me. After all, she was sharing everything with me, and I mean everything. In our type of triad, we do everything together, work together, eat together, sleep together, I think you get the point…. So my main goal and priority has always been making sure I knew my place. I have a huge amount of humility and respect for the foundation that brought us together.

I love the drive I share with my partners. Over the last 6 years, our business has grown as we have grown together. As the “third” partner entering their relationship, I feel they have done a whole lot in making sure I feel equal and comfortable.

The number one question we always get is, “how do you deal with jealousy” and I think the number one answer is always communication. As women , we feel, ALOT. So its important to talk about any and all feelings that surface. We basically lay them out on the table in our family meetings and make sure were always on the same page.

Our relationship was closed for many years due to me being uncomfortable with the idea of opening our triad. I don’t think I was ready to open my mind to the idea of having another girl, after all I was the other girl….right? Well, I still am, but I can share….. right? Well yes, this is alright. When it felt right, we went for it. After dozens of awkward questions on my part, I felt I was ready to flirt with and connect with new girls who might be interested in all of us. Again, we do everything together so dating is no different. Together we like to find people who like all of us together. We don’t separate for dates so our attraction must be completely mutual. Imagine how hard it is to find someone to connect with, now multiply that times three. Finding a fourth person to vibe with has not been easy. For a short while, we had a girl move in to our house and we were technically a “quad” for a few months. It’s a really interesting dynamic and takes a lot of strength, perseverance and consistency from all ends. It did not work out with this girl but thankfully we all shared a good time together while it lasted.

To me that’s what life is all about, making the most out of life, while it lasts. Life is so short, too short to wonder “what if ?” all the time.

I love being polyamorous. I feel I live my life to the absolute fullest and I look forward to giving more of an inside of what it’s like, the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly. I used to google search for blogs coming from someone like me, for advice on these topics, so I figured I’d just write them in case anyone else is searching for an opinion. Thank you for reading!

[amysubmits]

Hi :) I am going to tell my guy that I want more spanking, we have it a little bit, sometimes. But I want to ask if we can incorporate it more into our sex life as well as possibly as DD. I’m having trouble with the wording though.. How did you approach the subject with CD? Do you have any tips on how to say something like that without feeling like an idiot? 🙈

Hi!

AAAAAAAAAAH just reading this took me back to all those feelings I had when trying to tell CD. My belly feels funny. 

With you already doing some fun spanking, asking for it more often is rather likely to be a yes I would guess. If you decide to ask for this but not to ask for domestic discipline yet, then maybe consider that instead of just asking for ‘more’ maybe consider admitting how big of an element it is in your sexuality. I think if I would have been able to tell CD that spanking was my primary fetish, or that I liked spanking because I liked feeling like he was in control, he would have started to understand so much more about me than he did based on me simply asking for spanking. 

Like you’ve done, I started out by telling CD that I liked spanking. His reaction to that was mostly excitement. If I’m being really honest, I think it was his first clue that perhaps I wasn’t 100% vanilla sexually and that was what excited him more so than the spanking itself. But, all I said was I liked spanking, so he assumed I wanted him to smack my ass during sex which is not my jam. When I realized that just a few slaps on the ass during sex didn’t excite me - that I didn’t “really”  like spanking. That I just liked the idea or fantasy of it. Which in the end, did not end up being true - but I believed that for a long time. So, that kept me from bringing up spanking again for a long time. At some point, I recognized that when fantasizing about spanking it was never about being spanked during sex. In my head, the fantasies were always being spanked ‘for real’. I still didn’t know what domestic discipline was, so I think at some point I tried explaining to CD that the reason the ‘during sex’ swats weren’t working for me was how they didn’t feel ‘real’. He suggested role play to make it seem ‘real’ and we tried it once but I was way too shy and awkward and..yeah. No. Not for me. So then we were both thinking that I just liked the idea of spanking and not the reality of it. So we were just stuck for a long time. As in, literally a few years of 0 progress. 😂 In the end, what I learned was that if he just playfully swats my ass during sex, I don’t feel particularly dominated. Of course, this is not true for everyone, it’s just me. For me, if he is just swatting my ass during sex to turn me on, well it just doesn’t feel like he is ‘in charge’ really and I need it to feel like he’s got consensual, but serious, not playful, control over me for it to make me feel submissive. 

Unfortunately, I don’t remember any real specifics on that first DD conversation, but I can share the gist of it. We wound up having a few talks about DD within a few months span so I may be confusing what we talked about, when. So if this slightly contradicts old blog posts I promise I’m not trying to lie in either post I just am too old to remember all the details perfectly. 😂

It was about 4 years ago. I know that I admitted to him that I had found forums for domestic discipline and that it felt ‘right’ to me. I may have tried to explain how I thought it may be the answer to getting spanking to be real and therefore work for me instead of feeling fake. Understandably, he was really confused. He thought that on one hand, I was asking him to be my disciplinarian “for real” (I was!). Yet because I had brought it up in connection to how our past erotic spanking and attempts at role-play had failed - he thought this was just a really complicated way to roleplay without it feeling like role play. He is really not into the idea of bratting, in the sense of breaking rules on purpose to get punished. To the point where even from this very first conversation he explained that he had zero interest in creating rules that would be set up just for me to break. He explained that he wasn’t opposed to the idea of truly disciplining me, but that it was going to be taken seriously if we did this. I tried explaining to him that I thought that was my goal, too. I didn’t want to create rules just to break them, either. I wanted to please him. He explained how he worried that it just wouldn’t work out that way - he thought knowing I could get spanked for breaking the rules would encourage me to break the rules because I like the idea of spanking. He asked me what types of rules I thought might work. I threw out two that I had seen over and over on DD forums - a spending limit/budget, and a rule about not lying to him. This was my biggest mistake in the whole conversation, I think. The reason being that I’ve never had a problem with overspending or lying. So in his mind, me suggesting this rules made him think that I really was just looking for rules to break, and he already had that suspicion, so it just confirmed it in his mind. He had NO interest in me lying to him or wasting money (of course!) so he refused those rules and asked for others. I wasn’t able to think of any and neither was he so we just left the conversation there. I kind of felt like the conversation was both a win and a loss. My biggest fear going into the conversation was that he would be judgemental and feel like I was a freak for wanting rules and punishments. He seemed generally open to it, which was a big relief and felt like a win. On the other hand, I felt like he was almost open to DD in general, but not really with me, because of my spanking fetish. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to convince him that I would take DD seriously, but I strongly believed I would. Seems how he did not reject the idea, we would talk about it here and there from then on. Maybe 3 other conversations in 6 months following that first one? 

I know we talked at some point about how we both recognized that I was always eager to please him. I explained how women in the domestic discipline forums explained that being taken in hand for punishment felt bad because it displeased their HoH (aka Dom) and how I thought displeasing him would make me feel guilty enough to ‘ruin’ the excitement of spanking for me. We also talked about how my pain tolerance was low, so I thought he could pretty easily spank me too hard for it to be enjoyable. We continued to circle around the “problem” of not knowing what rules would work for me because all the ones I saw on DD forums were for things i did not do - lying, wasting money, speeding, getting poor grades, being late to work, and so on. Just for the record, during this time, he seriously, I swear, said “You are too good already. You don’t need any rules.” I like to remind him of that now.  😇

But seriously, what he meant was - I wasn’t doing anything that was obviously damaging to myself or our relationship. He did not think I was ‘bad’. So about six months passed, and then we started DD, suddenly - at his request, because he realized I could have a rule to improve myself, even if wasn’t exactly ‘bad’.  I lost my debit card one day, which was something I did often. We found the card in one of my pants pockets in the hamper. Again, a common experience because I forget that I left a card in my pants and just take them off. So he just came to me and said that was going to be a rule - that I had to return my debit card and ID to my wallet as soon as I was done using them. If I lost my cards or if I left them in a coat or jeans pocket I would be punished. 

Honestly, some part of my brain kind of yelled ‘That’s so weird! That isn’t a DD rule..’ but I was so excited that he was on board with starting DD that I couldn’t care too much. In hindsight, I’m so glad I just went with it. I feel like it’s important to let him lead in the ways that he feels called to, not just to push him to lead in the way that I envision. 

After giving me that new rule, he made it clear that we were trying DD. He was not saying we were definitely going to do this longterm. He was still worried that I would break the rules on purpose to get spanked, and I knew that he would call it quits if he felt like it was just a game. I remember being in the store together, and him watching me carefully put my cards back into my wallet as soon as the cashier gave them to me and him having this satisfied expression on his face. I could tell he really enjoyed seeing me work on correcting a bad habit, to be good, to please him. Of course, eventually I forgot and was punished for that rule but it took long enough that he had already seen that I was clearing putting effort into correcting the bad habit so that largely helped erase the fears of DD being a game. 

Whew. So I guess, my advice is to try to explain your motives as clearly as you can. If you want DD to be a way to truly correct your behavior and not something you do for kinky fun, make sure he understands that. Perhaps have some blog posts printed or send him links so he can read some examples of how it works for other couples. But, keep in mind that he is his own person and you want him to be his own type of Dominant so while it’s okay (and good!) to let him know what you like, make sure you aren’t expecting him to be some character you’ve read in a book or some other Dominant you’ve read about online. In my opinion, it’s actually a good thing if he refuses to do some of the things you like because it means he’s standing up for being himself and not letting himself be pushed into your exact idea of a Dominant. You don’t really want him to turn into someone else, you want to find a way to blend DD into the relationship you already have, so that you maintain your personalities and the connection you’ve already had, and just blend DD into that. I know sometimes that’s a problem early on in D/s or DD, is the person who did not bring up the idea feels like they are being pushed to be something they aren’t. So try to make it clear to him that you feel like he is dominant already (give examples of how you see natural dominance/leadership in him or in your relationship already if possible), and that you just want to help that blossom, but that you like who is already is and you aren’t trying to really change him. 

Also, try not to sweat over getting a specific ‘yes’ or ‘no’ in a single conversation, necessarily. It’s okay if he has questions and concerns and needs time to process and read and learn. It took CD about six months to come around on it, which I thought was a bad sign during that six months, but of course, I don’t feel that way now. You’ve read about DD so it doesn’t seem like a brand-new concept to you, but it will to him - so if he needs time to read and process and understand, that isn’t necessarily a sign that it’s not for him. It’s also not necessarily a bad sign if he says yes to some of your ideas and no to others, as long as the ‘no’s are to things that you dont’ find truly essential to your idea of DD. It’s a very good thing to negotiate and find a style that is meaningful to both of you. 

I don’t remember a whole lot of the specifics of what I said, unfortunately. But I do know that my communication was imperfect in multiple ways, which is part of why we had to have a few conversations to work out details (like the rule problem). So I think that goes to show that even if your wording is imperfect, or there is some miscommunication, you can have additional conversations in the future to help clarify and find solutions to problems or concerns together. I don’t think the perfecting wording could make someone who isn’t cut out for DD like it, and bad wording won’t prevent it from happening if it’s right for you both. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to sweat every word. :) 

Another common thing I hear in general is discomfort and/or worry on the D side that they are being asked to be ‘mean’ or aggressive. If you use words like Dominance when talking to him, I would recommend explaining that you aren’t looking for a sadist from a porno - especially if you are talking about this as a full-time “lifestyle”. Many will worry that they are expected to be an asshole all the time if you want a full-time Dom. Assuming that he doesn’t enjoy being an asshole, that may concern him so try to explain what kind of dominance you like and how he fits into that vision of dominance already, as he naturally is. 

Some blog posts of mine that you may find helpful:

Leading His Way

Not A Game

Beyond Punishment

Hearing Her Cry (This is Cd’s)

Night And Day

Erotica & Consent (or my vision of DD before I lived it)

Also our first podcast episode covers the beginning of us dating through when we started these blogs so about a year or two into DD. So it covers how we started DD. 

https://soundcloud.com/overtheknee/how-we-got-here.

Also this tag on my blog is for blog posts from anyone I’ve reblogged that I think may interest people who are working to transition from “vanilla” to D/s (at least in the sense of not intentionally/purposefully having D/s) to intentional D/s . 

http://amysubmits.tumblr.com/tagged/vanilla-to-d%2Fs

Good luck! I’d love it if you’d update me on how it goes.  😊

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I can’t believe it

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I can’t believe it

Review of Desktop Lightning – Strengths and WeaknessesFrom the Desk of Alan SummersIf you’ve been following what’s been going on in the Internet Marketing scene then I’m sure you’ve at least heard about DesktopLightning.com by now.A lot of people are saying really good things about the site, but are they true?I decided to write up an honest review of the site, covering what I believe to be its strengths and its weaknesses, just to clear it up once and for all…To your continued success!

=========================================================================DesktopLightning.com – Strengths and Weaknesses=========================================================================Overall Rating: 4.5 / 5 stars (* * * * 1/2)In A Nutshell———————-A catchy new viral marketing tool, capable of broadcasting messages directly to people’s desktops. Easy to use, and caters primarily to those who have something they want to promote and are looking for a better way to do it. I don’t want to forget to mention that there is a FREE version available.(Read on for why I didn’t give it 5 stars)1. Initial Impressions———————-When I was first introduced to Desktop Lightning, I wasn’t quite sure exactly what to think. Everyone was saying it was going to be more powerful than e-mail marketing, but this seemed like too bold of a claim.I signed up anyway, since I usually give things a chance — that’s how I have found the several sites I do really trust and rely on.The signup process did take about 60 seconds, as advertised, and their software program downloaded and installed in about 30 seconds. No long, tedious install processes here. If you own downloadable software, you might want to take a look at how quick their install process is.Right after installing the software, it ran immediately, and I was quickly presented with a tool to invite my friends.Within one-click’s access was my Inbox, the tool to send broadcasts, a statistics page, and my favorite, the “Build Your Network” page.I’ll get more into why that’s my favorite page later.2. Viral Growth———————-This is where the site really shines, in my opinion. The purpose of a viral marketing site is that you should be able to invite just a few people, and then it will start growing on its own.Many sites claim to work like this, but few actually work as advertised.I’m not sure if it’s because of their unique concept or the slick implementation, but this site is REALLY viral. Here’s some of the testimonials they got, which I think sum it up pretty well:“I haven’t ever seen a system build a downline so fast. I joined your program just to try somethingnew. Four days later I had a downline of 43 people. This is unbelievable.” ~ Harry Joseph“I invited just a handful of people only a few days ago and I already have 48 members on 5 levels below me. I am going to keep promoting this, but I see it has a life of it’s own now. I couldn’t stop my network from expanding if I wanted to!”  ~ David Parton“This website is so viral – I received over 100 sign-ups and my network is already 5 levels deep inless than 48 hours.” ~ Rene KeiserAlthough they obviously can’t guarantee results for anyone, the general consensus is that most people who do get those initial few people in are experiencing results similar to these.I give DesktopLightning.com an A+ for spreading like wildfire.3. Direct-To-Desktop Broadcasts———————-So, once you have the people in your network from the direct invitations and the viral growth, then it really gets cool. Now is when you get to broadcast whatever message you wantdirectly to their desktops.Gone are the days of sending out emails and wondering if they were received due to spam filters and crowded inboxes.If you upgrade to their Platinum membership, then you can even get exact statistics on the percentage of your broadcasts that were opened, but the Platinum membership is not the subject of this review.Here’s how it works — the Desktop Lightning software is what allows the direct-to-desktop communication to be received. Since everyone in your network will have the Desktop Lightning application installed, just as you do, this is what allows such smooth and instant communication to occur.Within one hour of your sending the message, everyone in your network who is online will receive a notification on their desktop that they can click to read your message.Anyone who isn’t online at the time will receive it when they log on next.I’m sure you can see why this type of communication has been more successful than email as of late, so I won’t get into it too much here. The basic point though is that there’s no way your message can be lost, overlooked, or blocked by any filters.If you upgrade to their Platinum service you can do things like embed video and sound right into the broadcast, but again, I’ll save the Platinum service for another review.4. Building Your Network———————-Most sites out there nowadays don’t really help you build a network of people below you. They just throw you a URL and tell you to run with it.While this works for most advanced people, it’s not something that’s very easy for people who are just starting out.DesktopLightning.com went really far this time to make sure that everyone has a way to bring people into their network, regardless of skill level.When you click on the “Build Your Network” link from within their application, you’ll be presented with a surprising number of tools to help you build your downline.Everything from banners, to popups, to text ads, to invitation tools, to emails to send out, etc.Then, they continue to offer something which I haven’t seen on any Internet Marketing site yet — they have a “Starting From Scratch” section, designed specifically for people who haveno list and no website with traffic.If you’re in that position, then you’ll love this section, since they detail specific strategies you can use to promote DesktopLightning.com (or anything for that matter), even if you don’t have anything to start with.Quite a valuable resource.5. Not For Everyone———————-With all that said, the only downside to Desktop Lightning is that it’s not for everyone.Of course, some might see that as an upside, since it’s a more targeted opportunity.Basically, the bottom line is that DesktopLightning.com is a promotional tool. You need to have something you want to promote or advertise before you can really make use of thesite.This is all due to the fact that the basic concept is that you build a viral network of people, and then broadcast something to it.But, this “something” is whatever you want, so you must already have something you’d want to send to a lot of people.If you don’t have something yet, you could start building your network first, and then once you get something to promote you’ll be ready to launch it immediately.If you do have something to promote, that’s when the site really shines.6. Conclusion———————-I would recommend this site to anyone who has something to promote or advertise.It definitely works, and your downline will grow extremely fast if you put some energy into getting it started.The direct-to-desktop broadcasts are a killer app in today’s online climate, where emails barely even get through anymore.The only reason I didn’t give it 5 stars is that it has nothing to offer for people who don’t have anything to promote or advertise yet.If you want to advertise or promote something to a lot of people in a unique and powerful way, then this site is for you.=========================================================================At any rate, my general opinion is that since it’s so quick to set up and try, if you have something you want to promote you might as well go check it out.You can always remove it later if you decide you don’t like it.

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Here’s the link where you can find the FREE sign up:https://alansummers.com/tools/review-dl/Enjoy! 🙂