#but if i can do it itll be worth it. but also part of me wants to say fuck it and resort to murdering my f*ther bc then we'd never have to

[marsbotz]

BIG things happening right now

[cimicherrychanga]

just emailed last years college secretary, looked into signing up for 2 other colleges, got the details for a job im interested in + texted the friend whose sister works there to see if she can get me Connections and i got another job offer from the place i interned at im soooo cool and adult

[radiotorn]

having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.

[lesbeamofsunshine]

in a really fucked up way its absolutely fucking infuriating being like "whaa I have nothing to live for" while quite literally having something to live for

[youraveragemushroom]

♡

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Why the Alpha Timeline is the Alpha Timeline

I figured I'd make a post, since it's pretty subtle and I think it genuinely passed a lot of people by? Homestuck is made up of a lot of words, haha.

The alpha timeline is described by Doc Scratch, functionally, as "the timeline that causes LE to exist."

The path which alone has my absolute mastery is the alpha timeline, a continuum I define as that which boasts exclusive rights both to my birth and to my death, two circumstantially simultaneous events.

Aranea also gives the explanation that the alpha timeline is the one where reality is perpetuated.

AG: Reality itself is using you and many others to propagate its own existence. Strictly speaking, there is only one path to its successful propagation. 8ut it still permits you to make choices.

Caliborn also states that his quest as a Lord of Time is coming to terms with the inevitability that everything, ever, in all of time, will be because of him - that he'll be the one to shape it, including the circumstances of his own defeat.

uu: AS A LORD OF TIME. I THINK I'M GOING TO MASTER TIME. NOT WITH MY BRAIN. WHICH WOULD BE TOO HARD. BUT WITH MY INSTINCTS. uu: LIKE IN A WAY THAT WORKS WITH MY NATURAL IMPULSES. SUCH AS MY AMBITION. MY WILL TO COMMIT MAYHEM. MY DESIRE TO PUNISH THOSE I DESPISE. uu: SO IF I WANT YOU TO BECOME STRONG. SO YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME LATER. AND I SEE EVIDENCE. THAT YOU PROBABLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL. uu: I THINK TO MYSELF. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? IF IT'S GOING TO ANYWAY. uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY. uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING. uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER. uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR. uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS. uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE. uu: RETROACTIVELY.

Aradia's stint as stewardess of the afterlife is explicitly described as "service to the lord of double death," and Dave explains that he acts instinctively - like Caliborn does - to fulfill the conditions of the alpha timeline. It's also worth noting that their classes, Maid and Knight, are roles that directly serve a Lord in the real world.

TEREZI: LUCK1LY YOU M4K3 4N 4DOR4BL3 H4NDM41D TO TH3 M4ST3R OF D34TH, 3SP3C14LLY 1N YOUR CUT3 CH3RRY P1X13 3NS3MBL3 ARADIA: you think so?

GG: well youre from the future right? GG: dont you know already if itll work? TG: yeah more or less TG: i never really studied how it went down all that closely TG: i just figured when the time came to sort it out the right thing to do would be obvious TG: like it is now TG: managing the loops is a balance of careful planning and just rolling with your in the moment decisions TG: and trusting they were the ones you were always supposed to make TG: by now im pretty used to having my intuition woven into the fabric of the alpha timeline

I'm starting with all that so I can explain that the GAME OVER timeline doesn't end when the time players disappear from it, like doomed timeline offshoots normally do, because it IS the alpha timeline: the sequence of events that causes GAME OVER to occur is the sequence of events that Caliborn/Lord English have chosen: one where (nearly) everyone dies, all hope of victory is lost, and his servant, the Condesce, gets to claim the Ultimate Reward, perpetuating the same misery and oppression in the new universe, and presumably all universes to come.

We see from Caliborn's chess match with Calliope that his (and by extension, LE)'s modus operandi is to follow the rules to the letter, while manipulating his opponent, tricking them with "shitty twists". It's always been explained that LE's actions have been "sanctioned by paradox space," that is, everything he's doing is explicitly allowed, nothing he's doing is against the rules - including the fact that he must be defeated. He has, via his mastery of time, perfectly engineered a situation where the only viable reality is the one where yes, he IS defeated... in the dream bubbles, by the dead and doomed, whom he sent to the dream bubbles in the first place via Condy, Jack English, and all the other boss fights. And his will, his ideals, are imposed on the new universe in spite of his defeat.

In a completely Watsonian read of the text, Lord English is an incredible villain because - subtly and unsublty - he IS basically responsible for every bad thing that ever happens, ever, to everyone. He has legitimately been the puppetmaster pulling the strings the entire time, pretty much all because Caliborn is a huge asshole who loves to hurt other people, and wants to do it as much as he can, to as many people as he can, for as long as he can.

But I think he's especially interesting through a Doylist perspective, through a reading of the text as a coming of age. Homestuck is a worth riddled with theme and symbolism, and thematically, Lord English represents everything that these kids need to overcome in order to mature into kind, empathetic adults who will be one day responsible for the care and oversight of a new universe. He represents selfishness, sadism, greed, destruction, oppression, fascism, murder, genocide, and hatred. And also literally the patriarchy.

And, you know what? Don't take my word for it. Here's Andrew Hussie's commentary from Book 6 Act 5 Act 2 Part 2:

Much of the logic [for who contributes to Lord English] orbits around these negative traits associated with men, or more specifically, the “toxically masculine” aspects often linked to certain male personalities. Dirk has a lot of these traits, which are central to Dave’s feelings of tension and abuse concerning his bro. The intellectual aggression, the power of assertion, the knowitall-ism, the mansplaining. That’s a lot of Dirk stuff when he’s at his worst. Equius shares a lot of those traits too, with some different points of emphasis. Both of them have this creepy-guy streak running through them, with strange or offputting interests, and seem to get a quiet kick out of making others uncomfortable through demonstrations of these fascinations. They are actually pretty similar characters in this way.

He's invited into the trolls' universe (and, by extension, the kids' universe) via the Dancestors, in an original sin kind of way. I'll let Hussie explain on their Formspring (emphasis mine):

We learn more about the troll race, as a once peaceful species and such before kid-ancestors as players scratched their session, though the short term relevance of this is mainly as a preamble to Scratch's religious story. Establishing an Eden-like paradise from which there is some departure through sin is sort of the boilerplate basis for religious lore. ... The failed players from peaceful Alternia made a classic "deal with the devil" move by causing the scratch after being given a choice by the mother of all monsters. (Echidna. Hey, she's a big snake!) By doing so they brought Scratch into their universe, and therefore all the things you'd expect that comes with summoning the devil.

The Dancestor's "departure through sin"? It was the fact that they couldn't get their shit together and grew up inside the Medium. That's why they're the age they are, 9 sweeps - adulthood by troll standards. They aren't kids anymore because that's the ultimate sign of having failed to do a coming of age. Symbolically, the Dancestors represent a prior generation of grown-ups that fucked everything up, leaving a huge mess for their descendents to clean up after. In fact, Doc Scratch even describes the alternate choice Echidna gave them:

The heroes could either accept their defeat along with the extinction of their race, and put no others at risk.

In other words, they could have stopped LE if they'd simply chosen not to Scratch. But once more, in line with their behavior up until that point, they chose the selfish option, and bore descendants into the world they ruined. They're immature, nasty, mean-spirited, cruel, callous, and shallow on purpose, because their role in the story is antagonistic. They're aligned (even if unwittingly) with Lord English, as they're the ones who directly invited him in via their failure to grow the fuck up.

There's also a reason why SBURB/SGRUB directly tie achieving godhood and reaching the Ultimate Reward to planetary quests fundamentally designed to help children mature. God-tiering is supposed to come at the end of one's quest, as achieving it directly teleports you to the Battlefield for the final boss.

AG: I really think how successfully they mature is tied to success in the game. It challenges the players in all the ways they need to 8e challenged to grow, which is different for every individual, and veeeeeeeery different for every race. AG: I don't think we were so hot at that aspect of the game. In fact, I'm sure we were quite awful. Hell, even I wasn't that gr8 at it! I actually just kinda fell ass 8ackwards into the god tier, to 8e honest.

And there's a perfectly functional Watsonian explanation for this - in order to increase the odds that the new universe will successfully propagate new universes, it's ideal to leave it in the hands of kind, mature people. But the Doylist explanation is, again, even more interesting.

Hussie has spoken extensively about the comic having always been about two things at its core: first, a creation myth... and second, a coming-of-age. These are complimentary themes, as Homestuck also makes statements about society and its effects on kids. In the real world, the kids of today become the voters, revolutionaries, and lawmakers of tomorrow. In Homestuck, they create, and are responsible for, a new universe.

I always saw HS as an exploration of young people developing relationships over the internet […] There’s a lot more to HS than just that obviously, but if there’s anything which it’s been about through and through, it’s modern kids relating to each other from afar, developing as people and growing up.

In fact, all the initial kids' entry artifacts are metaphors for "departures, loss of innocence, and sometimes the journey from childhood to adulthood outright." John biting an apple, symbolizing the act that cast Adam and Even from Eden. Rose breaking a bottle, the act of christening a boat, and an item integral to the main means by which she relates to her mother, alcohol - an adult substance. Dave hatching an egg, literally the act of bringing new life into the world. Jade shooting an effigy of her dog, both symbolic of Old Yeller, and of breaking a pinata, an act often done at quinceneras.

There comes a point in childhood where the child stops being a child - the safe, familiar, comfortable world that they knew stops existing, and they can never get it back. They are thrust into a world that is alien and massive, and forced to grapple with the weight of their future duties. They deal with losing their guardians and finding direction in their absence. They must decide how they want to grow up, and then are responsible for shaping the society that comes after them. In other words, SBURB/SGRUB in this metaphor represent adolescence.

Within that context, God-tiering is actually interesting because it symbolizes adulthood - a semi-permanent state that a child is supposed to reach at the end of their SBURB/SGRUB journey. And, in fact, it's treated that way - none of the characters reach god-tiering the "proper" way... and of our god-tiered characters, nearly all of them have some sort of emotional struggle with growing up too fast. Vriska with the expectations of her shitty society, Rose with her emulation of her mother, Dave with his abusive brother, and the Alpha kids with substance abuse (the jujus) and romantic drama.

Anyway, sometimes when Mario's running sideways he gets a star that makes him magic and invincible. OH. YOU MEAN HE BECOMES TRICKSTER MARIO. Yes, but less stupid. So for a while he becomes flashy and hyperactive and nothing's challenging anymore. He just starts barreling over mushrooms and leaping over pits as fast as he can, then gets to the end and jumps on the flagpole and that's it. Mario "wins". But the point is, he didn't really win. That magic star was actually devastating to his development as a human being. WHY. Because he skipped over many critical trials on his spiritual journey. Mario NEEDS to stomp on all those mushrooms. He NEEDS to bonk those bricks with his head, for the sake of his personal growth. By using the star, he is denying himself many powerful moments of catharsis.

Like... I dunno... seems pretty blatant to me!

So with Homestuck so firmly being a coming of age, and with the Dancestors - whose primary failure is that of unrelenting immaturity - being cast in an antagonistic role, doesn't that make Caliborn's position of ultimate final boss extremely fitting when we take this conversation into account?

You may be destined for bigger things, but you’re still an atrocious, stupid child. And you may have won the “game” with your sister, but that doesn’t mean it was the best thing for your development as a person. You had her dream self killed, which is not an opportunity your species typically gets. So she died prematurely, instead of allowing the conflict within you to settle itself naturally. In short, you forced your predomination to happen a little too early, and now you’re stuck. STUCK? Yes. Your personality is stuck in some sort of cantankerous prepubescent limbo. You are going to be a stunted, miserable tool forever.

He's literally a child who chose to stunt his own growth so that he could reap all the game's rewards for himself. Someone who so stubbornly desired the selfish, greedy, and immature option that he was willing to hurt himself to achieve it. Caliborn - and by extension, Lord English - is a direct symbol for the refusal to mature, to be kind, to care about other people. By including Dirk, Gamzee, and Equius at their worst, he also comes to represent misogyny, toxic masculinity, the patriarchy. He's the Condesce's master, and so by extension, he represents fascism and oppression; as Doc Scratch, he gets off on abusing girls, and so he also represents predators and abusers. And his goal is to perpetuate himself, his ideals, what he symbolically represents, down every successive generation. Much like how these cycles of abuse and oppression seek to perpetuate themselves in the real world!

And that's why the alpha timeline, the GAME OVER timeline, is the way that it is: it's one where Lord English WINS. In Lord English's version of the story, everything is fucked up forever. He might be defeated, as is the timeline's inevitability, but his politics, his bigotry, and his ideals live on.

Except.

Our Breath player gains a power that literally unsticks him from time.

Now, personally, I don't believe that the ending we got is the one that was originally intended. I don't feel the need to elaborate upon that here, but suffice to say, given how clearly and consistently these themes are set up throughout the entire rest of the comic, it just makes sense to me that the ending we got, where characters stay dead, never finish their character development, etc. etc., is a MASSIVE tonal and thematic departure, which smacks of external pressures and influences. Everything after [S] GAME OVER is soft canon to me for this reason. But there's things that survive in it that are really really interesting, so I'll mention some.

First, the pre-retcon versions of the characters still exist, as we see from (Vriska). That means that everyone who died in GAME OVER would not necessarily have stopped mattering to the plot. I firmly believe that the original ending would've seen Lord English confronted by the GAME OVER (characters), who would also have the most karmic claim to beating Lord English's face in. This would also satisfy his whole deal of playing by the rules - he knows he HAS to be defeated, he just gets to choose the circumstances of his defeat; without realizing that John's retcon powers can rewrite a timeline, he would've set up his own death to be in the bubbles, at the hands of the already-dead, while Condy claims the Ultimate Reward - thus making it so that he still wins in the end.

But Breath represents freedom, choices - and the retcon powers are something John gains mastery over after completing his personal quest, which we've established is directly tied, both literally and symbolically, into growing up and maturing. By becoming a kind, empathetic, mature adult, John is able to choose something else.

Second, that the Ultimate Self is brought up at all, which seems to me like it would mitigate the bittersweetness of the (characters) from GAME OVER staying dead - because, in my head, the original plan for the retcon was that it would bring everyone back, and therefore, all the (characters) from GAME OVER would live on through the surviving post-retcon gang, who will eventually achieve Ultimate Selfhood, as Davepetasprite^2 says they will. This would also directly mirror the words Godtier!Calliope gives to her counterpart:

CALLIOPE: bUt then... CALLIOPE: what shoUld i do? CALLIOPE: you don't need to do anything. CALLIOPE: be who you've become, and who i didn't. CALLIOPE: consume the fruits of an existence i could never understand. CALLIOPE: live.

Third, there's just so many outstanding plot threads, even for the characters that DO survive. Jake's prophesized to defeat Lord English, Dave never actually gets over his hesitance about time travel and defeating Lord English, Karkat has multiple means of bringing his dead friends back to life and doesn't say anything, Vriska and Terezi still aren't 100% reconciled, Gamzee's tragedy is never addressed, Jane, Dirk, Jake, and Roxy never really figure out their situationship, etc. etc. etc. ... to say nothing about all the plot threads left dangling for the characters that stay dead.

And finally...

Isn't that just kind of a better story? One where the kids get to grow, change, learn from their mistakes, and create a better, kinder universe, after defeating the avatars of cruelty, oppression, and immaturity?

Is it just me? Haha.

[coveredinredpaint]

this post includes a tutorial for stenciling stuff on a shirt, with paint or bleach, here is the finished result for ppl who aren't interested in the tutorial and still wanna see what i made

against me! on an old sleeveless tee i got from my dad

alright time for the crafting

first youll wanna draw or print out out your stencil.

i advice printing black on white, black being the stuff youre gonna cut out of the stencil.

also for stencils bigger than A4 (or whatever size ur printer can handle) i advise using blockposters.com to print out the images youre using over multiple papers

cover that paper front and back in tape, itll prevent the wet paint from leaking through or ruining your stencil, and youll be able to reuse it!

Now comes the

SUFFERING

time to cut out those stencils.

take ur time doing this, yes itll take long but youll be able to use this stencil forever afterwards so its worth it.

make sure parts of the stencil you wanna keep are connected to eachother, so you dont lose detail in the stencil.

the white stripes on the stencil is where i drew the connections between the loose parts of the stencil

time to paint

i always shove a big piece of cartboard inside the shirt im printing on to give me a surface to pin the stencil to and to prevent paint from leaking through, so it doesnt slide around while painting. (you can also tape the stencil down if you dont want to run the risk of the pins leaving small holes in your clothing)

to prevent paint from getting under the stencil i apply the paint by dabbing the point of a big brush, with a bit of paint on it, onto the fabric. itll take around three layers for the paint to cover completely.

wow you did a craft!

i always iron my shirts after painting to "seal" the paint into the fabric. doesnt always work so i always wash my shirts by hand the first time to see how well the paint stays on.

feel free to ask any questions you have, i hope this was comprehensible

[thewertsearch]

See, these three make perfect sense for Dave. We've got the funny meme troll, the funny meme troll, and the funny meme troll who's flirting with him.

TC: ArE YoU ReAdY TC: To gEt tHe hOrNs yOu dOnT HaVe TC: CoNfIsCaTeD AlL LiKe tHe mOtHeRfUcKiN HoNkTrAbAnD ThEy aRe TC: BeInG AlL IlLiCiT As tHe vAsT JoKe iTsElF

Aradia just mentioned the 'Vast Joke', and now Gamzee is using it as part of his trolling efforts. I guess it's a part of Sburb's lore that the kids haven't yet encountered.

I doubt Gamzee will be enlightening us, though. He probably just thinks it's a juggalo thing.

TC: YoU GeTtInG YoUr hOrNs aLl hAnDeD To yOu, If yOu pEePs aNaToMiCaLlY WeRe sUcH To bE LiKe tHaT TC: DoInG ThAt's tO MeAn lIkE YoU GoT MoThErFuCkIn sAsSeD OuT TC: As iN TrOlLeD

It honestly takes a minute of painstakingly parsing his text to even realize that he's trolling - which means he's already succeeded.

TG: oh god thats right TG: you were the best troll

See, Dave gets it!

TG: it was months ago for me TG: you did your bizarrely oblivious juggalo thing TG: then bitched and moaned at me for ruining your religion or some horseshit TG: like i guess a weird crisis in faith i dunno TG: and then TG: you kinda got over that i guess

We haven't seen this conversation, but I could pretty much write it myself:

Gamzee raps at Dave.

Dave memes on Gamzee for being a juggalo.

Gamzee learns that he's worshipping a band from Earth, and realizes how bizarre his situation is.

Then he immediately gets over it. Because, y'know, he's stoned out of his mind.

TC: My mInD'S NoT ThAt sHaRp nOw tHoUgH, iT'S BeEn aGeS SiNcE I HaD A GoOd pIe

Or not - maybe he'll sober up soon.

It'd be funny if a straightedge, post-juggalo Gamzee ended up being one of the more competent trolls - although that would mean more conversations iN HiS qUiRk, which I wouldn't exactly relish.

TC: I WaSn't tHe dUdE Of tImE TC: I WaS ThE TC: ThE MoThErFuCkIn TC: BaRd oF TC: FuCk

Oh, he's a bard! Hell yeah!

Bards are my favorite D&D class. They're charismatic generalists, with a fun, musical flavor to their abilities. It's a good fit for Gamzee, too - bard isn't far from jester, which isn't far from clown.

In Sburb, I imagine that it's an oddball class for Players who don't dance to anyone's tune but their own.

Gamzee barely qualifies as a Player, and is hardly aware of the game going on around him - but I'm sure he'll have his moment to shine. It's worth noting that, if built correctly, a Bard can also be one of the most powerful classes in D&D.

TG: do you remember if you watched any videos TG: from earth [...] TG: youve got to check this out TG: trust me itll lift your spirits shit will all make sense to you finally TG: youll finally figure out who you are and why you worship all this ridiculous clown bullshit [...] TG: http://tinyurl.com/MoThErFuCkInMiRaClEs

Dave has decided he may as well kickstart Gamzee's crisis of faith...

...and accidentally kickstarts a kimessitude that will be written in the stars.

Eat your heart out, Karkat.

[fickes]

hiiiiii

as a pre top surgery transmasc i adore your art so much. it makes me so happy and gives me hope that someday i too will be able to get top surgery!

okay so i like asking peoples personal experiences, so what were the most interesting things about getting ready for top surgery, the surgery itself or the recovery process in your eyes?

also how long did it take to get off of the binder after the surgery? thats the part i worry about the most bc i cant wear a binder bc my lungs are inept (affectionate) so i worry how thatll go but i mean itll be worth it obviously.

anyway whatever you are comfortable sharing about the surgery process, id love to hear it!!! have a great rest of your day

Thanks so much :) I'm answering this publicly in case other people find this information useful, but let me know if it's a problem and I'll take it down right away. Also feel free to message me with any follow-up questions.

I should let you know a lot of my comics are a bit dramatized for comedic purposes. I don't lie at all but sometimes I phrase things to be funny, not accurate ;)

Let's get into it - first of all, speaking as someone who needed top surgery but felt it was a pipe dream for soso long, I'll say a) it was well worth the wait and b) it wasn't nearly as hard as I expected it to be, both logistically and physically. I had the advantage that I live in a pretty liberal state in transgender law and financial aid, but the disadvantage of having a few medical conditions that I expected to make the surgery pretty hard on me (and that blocked me a little in terms of getting medical permission). If you live in the USA, I may have more specific legal guidelines for you if you want it.

In terms of the binder! I actually have a chest deformity that made wearing a binder extremely painful and probably damaging. I usually had to opt for sports bras etc., and this was a big concern for me, too, in terms of the binder that you have to wear after surgery. The vest the hospital gave me was problematic because it didn't fit me right and was causing a lot of pain. I'm not sure if my deformity had to do with it or not. But the point is: I told them the problem, and they gave me the option of just going out and buying Under Armour compression sportswear. This SAVED me, and it was FAR less painful than any binder or binder substitute I've ever worn. I could wear it 24/7 and barely even notice the pain, and it was only about $20 online. This is definitely worth asking about ahead of time to any potential surgeon. Even if this particular solution doesn't work for your case, they probably have others. There are a lot of us with bad lungs/ribs!

I was required to wear the compression shirt for 6 weeks. After that, I've chosen to continue wearing it on and off because I still have a little swelling. They expect that to be done by 6 months.

The worst parts were the vest (before I replaced it with the sportswear) and the drains. The worst part about the drains is they do hurt, and if the tubes shift at all you can feel it inside your body (BAD feeling). Unlike everything else, they were gradually hurting more the longer I had them. I got them out after a week, and after that recovery was no problemo at all. The drains are the hard part - I think most people agree with me on this one. Some people experience pain getting them removed, too, but for me it just felt a little weird.

The most interesting thing to me was the result itself. The wound, the bruising, the stitches, the glue, and the scars. Watching my own skin heal itself into a new shape was fascinating! I was allowed to change the dressing on day 2 and it was a pretty gruesome sight, but it also felt RIGHT. I was expecting a difficult adjustment. Even with the gender euphoria, a lot of trans people say they felt woozy or strange when they first saw the results. It can take a long time for your brain to adjust to your new shape. But for some reason, for me, it just immediately felt right. It's already hard to imagine my chest having ever been different.

[readingismyhobby24]

im doing pretty good too ^_^!!!!

im SO excited to yap about rainworlds >:D i wanted the game a lot like last year and its like “oh wow i have it now lol” so ive been playing it a bunch and reading about the lore (because its super hard to tell the lore in the game)

to start off simple, you play as a slugcat (basically cat mixed with a slug) in an ecosystem with other creatures, id like to mention how i enjoy that the creatures dont just have set animations for their actions like most games, theyre placed on a rig and the ai has to go off of what to do which i find interesting! you, the slugcat arent meant to be a hero in the story, youre basically just another part in the ecosystem, youre also very low in the food chain (below you are basically just small creatures and plants, while lizards, scavengers, vultures, etc are above you.)

i also enjoy how it isnt JUST a survival game, each character has a story, such as how monk and the survivor are brothers that were seperated, how hunters cycles count down instead of up because she has a disease, etc!

oh yeah i should also probably do a gender chart so nothing gets too confusing (highlighted in yellow is canon, highlighted in purple is implied, white is just my own personal interpretation)

male- gourmand, monk, survivor

female- artificer, rivulet, hunter

neither- spearmaster, inv, saint, nightcat

oh yeah! i should probably explain the actual main thing you SHOULD be worried about!

basically, every cycle is around 13 minutes i believe (except rivulets, hers are shorter, but its back to normal when you meet five pebbles) and when the 13 minutes is up, you have to find shelter before everything rains. you have a certain amount of food pips depending on the campaign, if you have full food pips you can hibernate for the night and itll save, if you dont have enough filled it wont save and will give you one extra food pip, you can also eat extra so you have a few food pips already filled for the next cycle!

the main objective of the game is to follow the guide (iggy/overseer, i prefer to call em iggy) to Looks to the Moon and then Five Pebbles (theyre both iterators which ill explain later!!!!!) im not quite sure how the campaigns end, but ill find out trust :3

so basically, the iterators are what created the slugcats (i believe) and gave a few of them purposes, most were to send a message (like how spearmaster was made to be a messenger), also they have funky names like “Seven Red Suns” and “No Significant Harassment”

also some parts of the game are just really funny 😭 like i know its a game thats probably intended to make me mad but i cant help but laugh at the fact that spearmaster canonically got top surgery (in a way) and that theres a dating sim after you finish inv’s campaign

after each cycle you gain karma! (everytime you die you loose karma too btw) which can help you get through certain passages :)

remember how i mentioned that hunters cycles counted down instead of up? thats an important detail to her story :) because she basically has a disease, after the certain number of cycles, it starts to effect you, and death is permanent (fun fact! if you die in hunters campaign permanently you can go into gourmands and find her body (did i forget to mention that some parts of this game are actually really disturbing? i HATE the spiders.))

its such a confusing yet amazing game, its definitely worth it to get it with the DLC, the sound effects of the creatures, explosions, stabbing, literally every small detail is incredible and i LOVE the music !! oh yeah theres also an upcoming dlc with the nightcat… im very excited :3

sorry if i yapped a lil too much or jumped around too much or if this is hard to understand 😔

bonus pictures of the slugcats with the timeline :) i love them a lot

Okay! Wow!! This sounds really cool and interesting!! And also stressful because this sounds like a game I'd be horrible at 😅 (but honestly I'm bad at all games except for LoZ games, but even then I still struggle with them). Thank you so much for explaining it to me! The little slugcats are adorable by the way!!!

Also, never worry about yapping too much to me!! It literally doesn't bother me at all. I love hearing what you have to say!!! And getting long asks of people yapping actually makes me super happy ^_^

I hope you have a great day/night 🩵

[whilomm]

these are claims from a different whistleblower than the one that was totally not murdered by boeing

(disclaimer, im not an expert and this article doesnt go into a ton of detail on the specific issues, so i could be a lil off, these are very much non-expert speculation rambles. anyone who understands better, feel free to correct me/add more deets).

if im reading it right these claims get into the way boeing has been outsourcing more and more manufacturing of parts to other companies, such as for the fuselage (the plane body as a whole, big tube u sit in). if those parts dont quite fit together right (and keep in mind the margins of error on these things can be VERY small in some cases, though im not sure exactly how much wiggle room they got here), that can lead to too much stress on certain parts.

like, for example, if one part of the fuselage is just baaaarely too big for the next part it connects to, it might all seem to fit together perfectly fine, but every time it takes off and lands or goes thru compression cycles (that is when they take off and land, going from low pressure-high pressure-low pressure), it just puts a BIT too much pressure on where they join. and over the years, that pressure just adds up until theres microscopic stress fractures, which become slightly larger stress fractures, until they get big enough that once a plane reaches a high enough altitude theres a midair disentegration, which is. exactly as bad as it sounds.

(sidenote: compression cycles can be more important for determining an airplanes lifespan than flight hours. the usual metaphor is bending a paperclip back and forth until it breaks, how many times can you bend it before metal fatigue sets in and it just snaps. holding it in a more bent position however will take a lot longer to snap it generally.)

now to be clear, every single plane has an intended service life, and its well known that planes can only take so many compression cycles before they start to get really hard to maintain without going kablooey. a plane may be rated for like, idk, 50k compression cycles (so, taking off and landing 50k times before its retired, because after that its no longer worth the maintenance vs just making a new plane). but if it turns out that plane has some flaw in its build that means itll develop fatal stress factures at only 20k cycles, well. thats bad. not sure exactly how the schedule on looking for stress factures looks like for maintenece crews (do they do it regularly for all planes on a set schedule? do they only do it occasionally for new planes, and start to ramp up checks as the plane gets older? dunno!) but well. generally speaking, a plane having a fatal flaw that gives it an explosive midlife crisis is Bad. i would hope theyd catch it! but i dont know enough about the deets of fuselage maintenence to know the specifics.

and OH YAY COMPOSITE MATERIALS. now, before anyone gets too freaked out thinking about the uh. submarine. use of composite materials is actually far more common on planes than on subs for a buncha reasons. one, planes just generally undergo a lot less in terms of pressure (that futurama joke, "this spaceship can handle between one and zero atmospheres", vs subs that have to deal with tens to potentially hundreds of atmospheres) but also because apparently, for complicated material engineering reasons, composite materials work much better under tension (high pressure INSIDE pushing OUT, like airplane) than under compression (high pressure OUTSIDE pushing IN, like submarine). heres a vid from someone who wrote their masters on composite materials under compression if you wanna hear from someone slightly smarter on the subject. im not gonna pretend like i understand the full deets, but "composites do OKAY with tension" is enough for me, go read the fancy scientific papers if you want more.

now, so that people do freak out at least a little bit: hm. dont like that they are using Way More Composite Than Usual on this plane. how much is the usual? idk, i assume composites are much more popular with low altitude small aircraft (bc well, weight and less pressure worries), dunno whats considered normal for high altitude longhaul crafts. but, apparently, the dreamliner is "more than usual". which, yeah cool, lighter weight airplanes use less fuel which is better for longhaul flights. is it. well tested enough though???

...anyway. im not an engineer, idk the full Deets, but well. havin lotsa fun hearing the engineers talk about how the parts of the giant metal skybirds dont fit together quite right and theyre using materials that fail more catastrophically than metal with less warning, experimentally, and we dont quiiiite have the data to know if. its a problem. thats really fun! LOVE hearing about how much theyre outsourcing parts, given how bad quality control of things as tiny as the titanium in some bolts or a little bit of the engine blades being not properly vacuum forged has lead to catastrophic failure in the past, and knowing how important sourcing of parts in airplanes is. all VERY yay!

[actualbird]

luke pearce IS the sort of person who sleeps with a bunch of stuff on his bed shoved to the side. nxx (and aaron) stage an intervention and are like “we LOVE you, you deserve good things, PLEASE love yourself”

jhvKJHVSDFSLFKJ THESE R SUCH LOVELY HCS, ANONNN!!!

truly, the nxx team will want luke to have standards So Much. to raise his quality of living because he is definitely Capable of it, he just Doesnt Do It. i like to think it's both because of a casual not thinking very much about himself for internalized self loathing, and also just some natural scatterbrained-ness.

i remember mc saying at some point that luke's been messy ever since they were kids. itll be hilarious when the nxx team actually do manage to get luke to have better standards for himself, and theyre all very happy seeing the improvement made in his self esteem and self worth and how that results in some Home Treats like a nice big fluffy blanket and a rice cooker maybe, BUT.......his place still ends up generally messy and in disarray

marius, falling to his knees dramatically: WHERE DID WE GO WRONG!!!

mc, patting him: yeah no, the mess is staying forever i think

vyn: i am just considering it a victory that he no longer microwaves his water for coffee and tea

artem: //in the background accidentally stubbing his toe against the palette bedframe. ow

i also ADORE THE HOARDER HC SO MUCHCHCHCHHCH!!!! AND UR SO RIGHT LIKE....okay im gonna delve a little more metaphysical in my interpretation but...

it is clear in luke's character and his interests that he values and cherishes objects that have meaning and story attached to them. there are the most obvious examples, with keepsakes from mc, but the one that is more fascinating to me actually is his shop, Time's Antiquities, as a representation of this.

it's still a shop, so he parts ways with the objects eventually, yeah, but the mere fact that thats what he chose is indicative of a deep appreciation for history, for objects of old, because of the past etched into their existence. it's even more interesting that his antique shop co-exists with his general mastery over advanced tech. and that shows that he could absolutely have been a person to value solely utility and advancements in objects, but he isnt. luke does value those things, but there is a cherished place in his life for objects whose main value is less of what they are and more of what theyve been through, more of the stories that they can tell

all that rambling to say that: yeah he totally keeps a hairtie from mc from forever ago JHAVKJHFVAKSFHAVKFH hes a sentimentalist like that and i love him for it. he'd also keep every single gift given to him from people who matter to him: a get well soon card from aaron that he got at the hospital once, a cookbook from artem, some nice pens from marius, a pretty tea strainer from vyn, a whole box just filled with stuff peanut handed to him, all of it

he is so special to me....

[omgeto]

I read your tags on the smut tips post so I’m here to ask, how do you write a good angst to fluff piece? 😌

idk what possessed me to say my angst to fluff pieces were my true calling BUT since thats what literally ALL my Haikyu fics are and all my non full smut fics are I might as well. AND I LOVE SHARING MY WISDOM I FEEL LIKE A GURU hehehehe.

FIND THE WRITE ANGST TO FLUFF BALANCE: like tbf this one is just down to personal preference of what you want to write. since at the end of the day angst to fluff fics are just fics that start with angst and end with fluff BUT imo to make it sweet and juicy you really need to find the write balance, have you ever read and fic and thought damn this barely had any angst or vice versa. so when it comes to writing NON smut angst to fluff fics I think depending on how heavy the angst is you wanna do like a 60% angst 40% fluff or 70% angst and 30% fluff. but this point kinda leads into my next one...

BALANCING UR SHIT RIGHT: so with this, I think the hardest part of writing angst to fluff fics is that you have to find a problem that angsty enough to be worth writing about but not TOO angsty that it makes the reader look dumb for forgiving the character and having a fluffy ending. to combat this, I usually just make the 'fluff' part of my endings the apology and always kind of imply or just straight out state that not EVERYTHING is cool but you'll work towards fixing it and you can still have a sweet moment come from that.

HOW TO WRITE A FLUFFY REUNION: since I realised that some people actually struggle writing the actual fluff part. but deep it if ur writing x reader fics you just gotta ask your self "if someone did *insert whatever angsty thing they did* to me, what would I want them to do to fix it" tbf half of the time the angst I write in my fics id dump a dude for, but when ur writing for the masses and writing a fluffy ending that cannot happen lol. but usually like just ask urself what you'd want and its 8/10 the right answer. but if u have no ideas then, just start with AN APOLOGY (surprise surprise) a heartfelt apology and some promises to do better and be better and all that lame soppy crap, THAT ALWAYS GOES A LONG WAY and then boom.

HOW TO WRITE ANGST: now I could do a whole separate post on how to write angst, since I actually think my angst is stellar. but so I dont bore you, I'll just say for me personally ITS ALL IN THE DIALGOUE. like yeah descriptions go a long with in any form of writing but for a real juicy piece of angst you have to make them verbally fight (or physically fight if u REALLY WANNA GO THERE but we do not beat up eachotehr so no thank you) but yes the key is in the dialogue like and it doesn't have to be long dialogue but a good back and forth argument which REAL EMOTION THATS WHAT COUPLES AND PEOPLE DO.

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY MY OVERALL POINT IS JUST TRY AND MAKE IT REALISTIC. HOW? ASK YOURSELF "HOW WOULD I FEEL IF THIS HAPPENED TO ME" OBVIOUSLY SOMETIMES THE SITUATIONS ARE FAR FETCHED AS HELL BUT IT SEEMS U GUYS FORGET THAT UR ALSO HUMAN BEINGS JUST AS UR READERS ARE SO.... DO THAT AND ITLL ALL BE FUN.

[baeddelations]

I think this part of my loathing of seeing this article passed around "i am tw, iam staying in the closet" bc it is a diary entry that was explicitly not supposed to be advice or a rubric. She origanilly aays its just 1 narrative to take in then when it gets past around she says hey this was me venting i didnt intend for anyone to read this.

I think this is the major interest in this piece. A view into the interiority of a tw whos been closeted for 20 yrs and her personal xp growin up then being a closeted tw in a University WGS dept. Some ppl might call this a fetishistic interest in the interiority of this tw, oh how they love poking around in the frankenstein monsters guts, poking his brain to see what horrid mismatched limb will jump.

I think the main reason @autolenaphilia interacted with this is bc this article was passed around by a bunch of transmisogynist who are adpting and pulling together the transmisogyny of jeniffer and her recounting of cismanhating that exists in primarily cisfeminist spaces and by extension radical and queer spaces. Jennifer does not bring up cafab transness or transmasculinity once in this article yet it is cited as inspiration for truther framework.

I do think the way that jennifer talks about not wanting to acquiesce is kinda built on a faulty conjecture which is that if she transitioned she would be able to talk about femininity in these spaces... at one point she says this probably wouldnt be true(mb just for her) but then goes back to the original argumentation on many occasions. This argumentation taken to conlusion posits that it is easier to discourse or even exist in those spaces as a tw than as a cis man that u will be more include and less ridiculed. At the time of this article she had never actually tried out this proposition, so she never got to see how this prop is at least in all the copius amounts of personal and anecdotal xp i have false. But this prop is useful for ppl who want push tw have it easier and that men are reviled for being men. Enter prager xcuse me truthers.

I also hate internalized oppression framework, imo it is an idpol tool used to shift blame from the brainwashed oppressed to som aspirational that oppressive ideology comes naturally to. Is she promoting transmisogynistic ideas? Yah, shes not bad for this but it is why its useful to truthers, and part of why it hurts to read as a tw.

@autogyne-redacted i do think its hard to see point 1, 2, and 5 of y shes not trnsn nd say these arent related to passibility. Repercussion are often contingent with passablity. Movin towards phys transn being dysphoria inducing is connected with what expectations of feminity u hav and how u line up with them(i also xp this). And the gap thing is imo her wishing she could be passable w ease and recognizing she cant so settling and saying its not worth it to try.

I think lena is apply a broader scope of trans xp to jennifers xp i dnt think this is even necessarily harmful and i dnt think shes even saying jen is wrong for it shes saying her words are easy to coopt that they are capering to these tmras which they are however unitentionally. U could also take things ive said in the past and warp them into tmra shit. I fortunately didnt write these things in a medium article. She is handling in other ways and this is wut conv therapy wants... thats what it seems they go for a lot again doesnt mean jen is bad nd lena doest say shes wrong for this. The only thing lena says is she doesnt want this for herself thats not restricting jens autonomy. And that the article and responses made her sick. They made me feel bad too. This isnt necessarily a moral judgement. It could be but idk.

All this is a dissection. I hate it. I wish her vent diary post wasnt being aired, analyzed, and discoursed. Im doing it right now ffs! It makes me want to leave the internet. I hope ppl stop talkn bout it...but they wont bc the corpse of this diary can be a useful weapon against tw so itll keep gettn used.

[lifeinthegladhouse]

the unfortunate news was given that my dad's chemo probably isn't working so he "might" have to do 30 day "isolation chemo" (?) which sounds horrible and scary. I want to visit him then if so... I don't want him to be alone for 30 days. I'm terrified he will be abusive to me.

when my mother died, she couldn't hurt me, even though I was terrified to see her. seeing her helpless body waste away from cancer was traumatizing but also released any fear I ever had of her, even though the memory of her abuse will always live in me.

my dad was not abusive like she was but sometimes i think he is worse for ever enabling her to be around me, ever choosing to "raise" a kid with her, comparatively, she had much less choice in her actions than he did.

i dont know what it means or if it will help. i didnt think these chemo rounds would help... i never thought my dad would get better... but hearing the advancing news doesn't help.

especially after watching someone's long term dying lead to hospice and then death and how irreverently it was handled, in this household (my partner's grandmother).

my dad will lose whatever hair he has left and im sure will look unrecognizable in a way.

whatever anger or apathy i have to combat my sense of obligation that shouldnt even really exist... i feel for him. im scared for him. i dont want him to suffer, and i dont know if it's worth going through.

i dont want to sway his decision, im positive he will die from this either way. i dont want to lose time with him, but ive already lost time. he's had 30 years to fix this and he hasnt...

i dont know if i can physically handle the grief of seeing him this way.

he always sounds livelier over the phone than he is, but... he didn't watch his parents die this way.

i will lose both of my parents to horrible forms of cancer (i mean, they're all horrible). at least Gene froze to death and it shocked everyone and he didn't suffer.

we've been iced in for a week here in p0rtland, and i got money back that i "owed" to unemployment when gene died. it felt like, after 3 years, he was helping me,... of all times to get the money back now... itll help me move out of my in laws... but a horrible thought happened... what if it's because my dad is going to go sooner than we thought?

i cant decide, anyways, and ocd is a bitch.

my back is killing me from days of making music and trying to learn mixing and mastering and animation and editing just for the fuck of it to stay sane, entirely diy.

today i cant focus, anymore... im listening to david bowie and crying alone and listening to my stupid in laws talking in the kitchen. i cant mourn here because this is a house of narcissism and enabling. hell, someone DIED in THEIR family and THEY wont/cant even mourn.

if my dad doesnt take the chemo, he will continue to failingly rely on his weekly (or more) blood transfusions. and eventually, he will die. maybe he will choose that to spare himself, and in a way, i almost wish he would, but i cant say i really wish that, ... i wish he was a better father, i wish he didnt have cancer even if he is 73, i dont wish him a sudden death bc itd be jarring but a long way is almost worse. i dont know what i want. i wish he couldve ever cared for me so that i could care for him. but what happened is he didnt care for me, and i care, but i cant care FOR him. i cant fix this. i cant love or unlove or hurt or unhurt it away.

when he dies i will not have any family left.

and then some part of me will be released from this burden of grieving a family that was always "dead" to me, but now, permanently, which will just feel fucked up.

ive spent 3 years grieving mom and gene. then i will grieve him too. when will it fucking end

in spite of this i have to work hard to perservere bc its what gene would want. its what my dad would want even tho fuck what he wants. its what *i* would want if i was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow myself or in 40 years. im terrified.

im tired.

im so goddamn tired

[anaryllis]

the post where i talk about lesbian separatism

this is long and rambley & mostly me admitting to bad prior thinking but. maybe itll be helpful? learn from my mistakes idk. i dont think im anywhere near an authority on this but i think its worth being vocal on this esp for my fellow white sapphic-adjacents

in ye olden 2015 i fell down the rabbithole of political lesbianism & separatism - largely based upon my understanding of "male" and "female" as discrete oppressive categories defined by their power imbalance, wherein the only moral option was to identify out of manhood. i was deeply concerned with finding the best & most virtuous way to identify as a person. i think this was easy to trend toward as someone who is nonbinary and generally perceived as a woman - my lack of attachment to a particular gender & experience of oppression slotted well into that worldview. if being an oppressive party = bad, and that category is one which felt so nebulous to me as identity, why identify as the bad one?

there are a bajillion reasons this is flawed thinking (which i can see now) but part of where this fell apart for me was in unpacking: what do you do when the oppressive identity group is one you cannot identify your way out of (whiteness, ability, etc.)? i couldnt run from the "guilt" of my whiteness (or at least, i could see that that was more harmful than helpful, even in this immature mindset). as a white person i simply need to reckon with what it means to be the best person i can be with my circumstances. so what does that mean for other oppressive groups? are men inherently oppressive and incapable of change? is it actually more moral, or safer, to not be/not be WITH men? (obviously no)

(& then of course the concept which is much better articulated in the last post i rb'd: the position woc end up in in these scenarios, where they end up expected to ally either with white lesbians or with moc, rather than building solidarity as a whole.)

further, i think this essentialist pov honestly lets men off the hook. when we argue that men are inherently cruel and incapable of healthy relationships (with women) - this almost avoids placing the blame of their actions on them. if instead we recognize men as, you know, people - then instead it becomes apparent that plenty of men are kind, compassionate, ethical - and those that arent may be weaponizing manhood, but its not the manhood itself which makes the cruelty.

when all of the separatist thinking fell apart for me, i began more solidly identifying as bi, and more masc on the nb side. my romantic relationship with a man has been incredible for me as a bi and trans person - and i think my 19 year old lesbian separatist self would be shocked. but im glad im here!

last note: i think also, in 2015 the spaces i was in on here were vocally trans(feminine)-inclusive - we were for women after all! but i think it was just a breeding ground for scrutinizing the trans women in these spaces. it meant that anytime a trans woman did something "bad," then therefore she wasnt actually a woman bc women good & men bad. (+ i think any space which discourages trans men transitioning is harmful to all trans people across the board.) & lo & behold, a ton of my former mutuals from that time ultimately fell into TERF social circles. so.

anyway dont be gender essentialist 👍