#but if i cant walk the other dog longer i am too early for her

[inner-community]

i really hate when the ppl i work for tell me they want me to work less for them because they need to cur back financially (despite all being very very well off)

i think it makes me feel like. rejected and unappreciated but moreso it’s like. this is my job this is all i have if you just decide you need your money more than i do… i just don’t have what i need. like if i am making less from my dogs i have to get more dogs and do less of the helpful work i enjoy… and i really prefer having a few people/dogs that i am close to and love than having to pick up any old walks because i can’t afford not to.

it makes me want to move away right now because i feel like i have outstayed my welcome or something. we were supposed to move last year and it didn’t work out and i was happy to get to keep seeing them but i just feel like if i had gone i would be sad but fulfilled. now i feel like i am just trying to stay relevant while the creatures and ppl important to me are trying to take everything away.

[gay-salt-amber]

Can we get a full story on Georgi and Jeans relationship? I think its really cute from the information you gave us and I wanna know more! - :D anon

Yes I sure can! Hope you like it :D

Love On The Ice

The ice rink. A figure skaters home away from home. Some go to the ice for training, some go there for fun, some go there to cry, some go there to rage, and some go there for love. This is no different for a 25 year old French skater named Jean Douce.

Jean pov-

Walking to the rink was something I always enjoy. Sure, my bag was kinda heavy at times and the walk may be long but it gave my legs some practice moving before I step foot onto the ice tonight. Todays competition was being held at my home rink in France, which is quite nerve racking, but I can't let that show. My coach said that this may be my chance to make it to a grand prix final, but I'm not so sure. We'll see when I get there I guess. As long as I try my best, then we'll be just fine.

When I finally made it to the rink, I looked up the sign 'Lilac Ice Rink' gave me a sign of comfort. I felt at home, I felt comfortable, I felt relaxed again. I opened the door gently before walking in, waving to the blonde behind the front desk, Ms. Joy, the woman who owned the place and someone I've known since I was little.

"Good luck out there!" She said with a smile

I gave a simple nod and went to the locker room to change, I didn't here anything before I entered, making me think not many people were there, 'Weird, I guess I am kind of early though.' I opened the door and sat my stuff down on the bench I looked over to see a face I hadn't seen before. The person had a pointy hair style, all of his hair was pointed infront of him, strange hair style but not bad. He was wearing a jacket over what I assumed was the outfit he was skating in tonight. I tried to read his jacket but the back of the chair covered it and I couldn't recognize the logo, curious, I walked up to say hi to him.

"Hi!" I greeted,

He put down what I recognized was blush and looked at me, "Hello, who are you?" I grabbed a chair, pulling it over and sitting down next to him, "I'm Jean."

"Are you skating tonight?" The black haired man asked

"Yes, I'm on the French team! What about you?"

"I'm on the Russian team."

"Ooo! Cool! What's your name?"

"Georgi."

I got up and held out my hand, "Well Georgi, I hope we get along."

He scoffed and shook my hand, "Good luck."

I smiled and walked back over to my bag and got out my outfit for the night, when I was putting it on, everything was fine until I remembered that it tied in the back. Unlike some people I know, I can't reach that far back. I turned my head and saw that Georgi was still here, I'll just ask him for help.

"Hey! Georgi!"

He turned around, "Hm?"

"Can you," I pointed to the ties, "Tie this for me?"

He rose to his feet and walked over, "Sure, but don't blame me if it looks awful."

I laughed, "Heh, I think it'll look fine, I mean, if you can make your face look so pretty, you can probably tie a knot pretty well too."

Georgi paused for a moment before going back to tying the knot, "Don't say stuff like that."

"Awh cmon! Its just a compliment!"

The cloth on my back tightened and the feeling of hands on his back left, "There its tied."

"Thanks!"

He grabbed his bag, waved and exited the locker room, the door slamming behind him.

'I think we'll get along well.'

A while later, Georgi pov-

I stood, leaning on the wall of the rink, deep in thought. Who was that Jean boy? All I know is that hes a skater from France. I want to know more about him, hes quite a nice boy and I think we'd get along well. I glanced over to where he was getting some last minute practice. His olive eyes sparkled as bright as a star, his skating wasn't the best I have ever seen by far but the passion he had was as obvious as the blue sky.

The only thing I could keep my eyes on was the cute brown haired boy, I spaced out from all of reality and I wouldn't have it any other way...

"Oi! Georgi! I'm talking to you!"

I turned to the voice to see coach Yakov behind me, "Oh sorry."

I cleared my throat before speaking, "Do you know anything about Jean? The boy over there?" I said, pointing to him.

"Ah, that's Jean Douce, hes a French skater."

"Well I know that much, anything else?"

"Well hes quite the amateur, I heard from his coach that hes only been to the second part of a figure skating contest once."

"Ah, I wonder why.."

"I heard he is married and has a kid so that's probably why, its hard to balance a family life and skating, anyone can tell you that."

Those words felt like a jab to the heart, "Oh.."

"Your going on last by the way, I wouldn't have it that way normally but, cant argue with the organizers."

I nodded and walked over to the bench to sit, grabbing my water-bottle from my side and taking a sip. While I was drinking I stole a glimpse at Jean who was now panting, head hanging down as he sat about 2 benches away from me. Why the world doesn't he have water? I sighed, 'Do I have to do everything for this boy now?' Wait that doesn't sound too bad.. I glanced at my water bottle which was still practically full and headed over to him.

I sat down by him, which caused him to instantly look over, "O-oh hi."

With a nod, I held my water-bottle out infront of him, "Here, I saw you didn't have one but your panting like a fucking dog so I figured you'd want some."

He grabbed it, his hand brushing against mine causing my heart rate to go up higher then what I am fairly certain is healthy. He smiled brightly, it was adorable and when I saw that on his face, I knew this was what they call love at first sight.

"So, I heard your married?" "Yes. I have a wife named Salem."

I was curious, I want to know more about her, "What's she like?"

"Heh, not great lately.."

"Mind telling me why?"

"She just doesn't approve of the fact that I do figure skating full time she thinks it wont make good money which is-"

"Bullshit" "Bullshit" We said in unison, we both let out a chuckle and Jean continued,

"Because of that I cant get as much practice in because I cant get the time away from her nagging to get out to the rink."

I looked at him, thinking, "I think I have an idea."

"What is it?"

"I'll help you with your routine."

His eyes widened at my words, "Don't you need to practice too?"

"I memorize my routines quite well, I think i'll be fine with coaching you."

"I have a coach already y'know?"

I scoffed, "Yeah and from what I saw she has no fucking idea what she's doing."

"I mean.. You're not wrong."

I stood and held out my hand, "So get up and lets head to the ice."

Jean grinned, putting my water-bottle down and grabbing my hand, "Alright!"

After the competition Jean pov-

Well.. I didn't make the cut, I guess I was right, heh. My score was 221, I was about 4 points behind the 3rd place winner who was a boy from America named Leo de la Iglesia. While I was getting changed in the locker room, Georgi was sitting down removing his makeup

"You're not very chatty.." He stated

"Heh, I guess I'm just upset about losing.. Good job on getting 2nd though!"

"For what its worth, I think you should have gotten third, Leo failed that one double axal so he shouldn't have had 225 points, you should have scored higher too, you landed everything."

I let out a dry chuckle, "Still my jumps weren't nearly as good."

"Still."

"Thanks, Georgi."

I stuffed my stuff into my bag and was about to leave when I felt a tap on my shoulder, "Hm? Did you need something?"

"Can I have your number?"

"Sure!"

He handed me his phone, I typed in my number and put in a contact name. "See you later, fée endormie" (Sleeping fairy)

Georgi's face looked as red as a cherry, his words were stammered too, "Y-yeah you too.."

I waved, closing the door to the locker room behind me. The walk back to the hotel was long, I wanted to be outside longer so I could think. Think about the cute Russian boy I met just a few minutes prior. Then I started to ask myself, 'This is so.. Wrong, what's wrong with me.. I am a married man, I shouldn't think things like this.' I sighed, letting those thoughts die. Those thoughts were replaced with more happy ones about Georgi and how the day went, 'Yeah.. we can think about the future later, day-dreaming never hurt anyone, right?'

About a month later-

I was relaxed on my bed. my wife was out at work and finishing up some school work. I am still going through collage since I had dropped out for a few years to help raise Akaashi. But now hes 17 and a third year at Fukurōdani Academy, a school here in Japan which my wife is the superintendent of. The work was nothing bad, I was about to type my last sentence before heading to the ice rink for practice when my phone buzzed with a message from Georgi

---------

Georgi: Hey, this may be sudden, but can you open your door?

Jean: Uhhh why?

Georgi: Cuz I'm outside and its cold!

Jean: Ok! I'm on my way!

---------

I ran faster then I ever had down the stairs, I thought I was going to fall and land on my face but luckily I didn't. I unlocked the door and opened it, revealing Georgi in a black jacket with matching pants. His hair was down, I have seen him with his hair down a lot but it was so cute that I couldn't help but blush at the sight.

"So what are you doing here?"

"I was in Japan and wanted to see you, simple as that."

A smile grew onto my face and we walked to my room where we sat on my bed, he read a book while I finished that last sentence of my paper, once I was done I turned to him and asked,

"Hey can you look over my essay for me?"

"Sure, give me the laptop."

I nodded and passed my laptop to him. It was a short paper but he seemed to take his time, I watched him add punctuation and such. He glanced at the citations at the bottom,

"Hey I think you forgot a citation." He said,

"Oh? I did? For what?"

"The County Tribune one, you used it in paragraph 4 right?"

"Oooh! I had an issue with that one! I tried to get the information but when I clicked the link I used, the domain was down, I just put down the article title and access date since my professor said that was fine."

"Oh, gotcha. But other then that I would say just fix some words, you used 'according to' with your textual evidence a lot so I would say change that."

"Alright, thanks! You sure know your stuff!"

"Yeah, I did really well in Language arts and Writing classes back when I was in school."

"Cool! I guess I'll have to ask for your help more~" I cooed

"Pfft, have fun with that." He snickered as he went back to his book

I kept looking for more words but I kept catching myself getting distracted, "Hey, what do you-"

Before I could say anything else I felt something on my neck, I moved my eyes down to the feeling and saw Georgi, biting my neck.

"G-Georgi?"

He pulled back instantly and scooted about a foot back, "Oh my god! I am so, so, so sorry!"

I smirked, "Do it again, Georgi."

"Isn't your wife going to be home soon?"

"She texted me earlier, she's going to a meeting in Paris, she'll be away for the next few days."

"And what about Ak-"

"Are you going to keep asking questions or are you going to do it again?"

The Russian boy let out a 'heh' and scooted forward, continuing what he was doing before. I smirked and didn't react, finishing up the paper. It was only about 2 minutes later when I heard a sad 'humph'

The mouth released my neck for a moment, "Hey.. Pay attention to me."

I let out a chuckle, turned off my laptop and put it on a side table. I turned around to face Georgi and put my arms around his waist, "There, I'm all yours now."

He placed a kiss on my lips, "Good."

Georgi's lips locked back on mine hungrily. This was the thing I wanted for months, no, this is the type of thing I've wanted my whole life and I never knew it before. God, please let this last forever.

He crawled closer to close the distance and put his knee between my legs, the feeling of having something to rub felt amazing and it caused me to whimper. The moment those whimpers became loud enough for Georgi to hear, I was pinned down with my hands above my head. He dipped his head down to whisper into my ear, "May I, my sweet baby prince?" Those words sent a shiver up my spine, "Yes, please.."

---Timeskip cuz its late and I am not awake enough to write smut--

"That was so good.." I said, panting while laying on Georgi's chest

The Russian skater let out a snort and ran his hands through my hair, "Was it now? Or do you just moan for more whenever you feel like it?"

"Heh."

"I love you." I whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

"I love you too baby."

I cuddled into his chest with a big grin, "Good." "Hey, question.."

"Hm?" I looked up at him, my chin still resting on his chest,

"How are we dealing with your wife? Y'know since you're my lover now."

"Meh, I'll think about that later. Now, let me sleep, you're really comfy."

"Heh sure."

"Also, leave your hair down more, its adorable."

"Sure, whatever you want dear."

"Okay, sleep soon, k?"

"K."

---Aaand its over! Thx for the ask!---

[skinnyghosttears]

May 10, 2021

8:16 am

I have the shape of a whale rn. I dont want to weight myself for a while.

Im gonna exercise a lot today, no matter what. The plan is 504kcal, maybe I can do something less.

Im gonna eat some avocado with a tortilla and some protein cheese for lunch and some rice for dinner. I want a snack? White monster.

And water, and tea.

I'll be 59kg for saturday or sunday. I will.

9:35 am

Managed to lower the calories to 369 for the whole day. Im at the window waiting to see mom leaving so I can go and exercise until 12 pm.

I already had some water so I will not weight myself today lmao.

10:03 am

While Im on the cyclette I rememebered that my grandma will come soon here. Didnt saw her since october, so she will clearly notice thay I lost a lot of weight.

I jave to plan high volume meals for restrict without her noticing or she will bring it up like 3 times for each meal. Also, I think my parents will go away this or the next weekend, so I have time to do at least a longer fast! My brother doesnt care and I can straight up lie to him without risk him checking on me. I think that I can skip friday dinner faking eating pop corns, skip saturday lunch too faking some nausea (I can fake eatig a couple of biscuits woth some tea, then eat a piece of pizza for saturday dinner like nothing happened. So I should be able to do a 30hours fast. I want to plan a certain amount of water to drink, If I crave food I have to drink an entire liter before, so I'll be too full of water. I have to find a way to dont binge. Im thinking about trying to not weight myself until saturday morning, but imagine my sadness finding out I will not reach 59 for that day :')

Im thinking about eating already the other piece of pizza during this week so I will not risk to eat the whole half pizza on saturday.

Wednesday I'll go to the city for see the therapist, and Im really thinking about buy another skirt like the one I had or try a pair os jeans and buy them as a goal to reach since I saw them the other day but I had no time.

Sorry this post is getting long as usual, Im just trying to figure out what to do for live this week in a good way mentally.

Oh, I decided to overexercise only today and probably tomorrow, but just walk for the next days because of the really low calorie intake. I dont want to faint at all. Friday and saturday I will not walk exept for bring out the dogs since I'll have less than 200kcal both days.

3:00 pm

Changed plan to 375/392kcal (it depends on how I feel at dinner time) because my mother didnt finish the avocado at lunch and we hate to throw away food. Its not a big deal since I had to carry my big dog for a lot this morning while I was bringing her to the grooming. She weight almost 30kg so aim pretty sure I burned a lot. I had a breakdown because of her because she refused to follow me and she's old and sometimes her legs cant carry her for too long, so I had to break my back for carry her, just for find out in the last meters she was just refusing to follow me and the legs were fine. Mom went back home from work just for lunch so now I have more time for exercise in secret, plus I can exercise too when she'll be back since I said I need to rest after this morning (which is true but ai prefer to go to sleep early that risk to fall asleep now)

7:55 pm

Burned 2200kcal!(cyclette as always).

Im gonna eat some blueberries after dinner, idk about how many calories they have (I cant weight them because I froze them) but I cant calculate how much I burned because of my dog this morning so its fair.

8:57 pm

Succesful dinner even if there was a lot of yummy food on the table! Gonna make a coffee now and a tea later plus another half liter of water before bed.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

water wars bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

i havent read this since i wrote it so if it sucks im sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

prompts:

10. If you use up all the hot water again i swear to god! You're on the couch for a month

2. How long have you been standing there

51. I'm your husband it's my job

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

I woke up in a slight daze before rolling over and realizing two things. 1) bucky was no longer in bed with me, which meant he's either left already or he's downstairs making breakfast still and 2) the time on the clock stated it was almost 9 am. I sat up abruptly with wide eyes and threw the blankets off of myself. It was already 9 am?! That meant i had t minus 5 minutes to shower and get dressed and get to work. I was supposed to be at the compound at 9:30 and as often as tony asked me to move in with the rest of the crew i just could find myself to do it. Which wasn't that big of a deal because buck liked the seclusion of having our own house as well as the freedom to have whatever pets we wanted, like the spunky golden retriever we adopted shortly after we started seeing each other and the laid back overly lazy pitbull we adopted less than a year ago. I struggled to find clothes to wear as lili kept nudging me for pats, i gave in though because i couldn't take the sad face she was giving me. I stared up at my hanging clothes while sitting on the floor with her and soon she was laid with her head on my knee and i was stuck with no outfit to wear.

I looked down at her for a second before hearing loud footsteps running up the stairs and immediately wanting to stand up for my faces sake. Suddenly our golden, reign, came in, followed by a laughing bucky, and began attacking me with kisses stirring up lili in the process. It in turn left me to my own devices huddled on the ground to avoid the excited puppy paws prancing around me. Bucky just stood and laughed at the situation before helping me up and kissing me lightly through his smile.

"Youre late."

I smacked his chest lightly and stepped to the side to get away from the ruckus.

"You are too."

He grabbed my waist and brought me to him and kissed me again.

"We could just call in today?"

I gave him a look.

"You know exactly why we cant do that. Besides if we play hookie another day im sure tony will have a fit."

I laughed at his stern expression before watching it turn to amusement.

"Eh, let him, i think i deserve a few off days with my girl."

"You know what you could do?"

I grabbed a random shirt off the hanger and a matching pair of pants.

"What?"

"You can call someone at the compound and tell them we are going to be a little late"

"And what excuse are we using this time?"

We smiled at each other as i backed my way to the bathroom door.

"Dogs were being hard to handle?"

I shrugged and walked back further before going to close the door.

"Im sure youll think of something."

***

I turned the water on the hottest setting i could and waited for it to warm up. As i waited i turned on some music and checked the temperature. I waited and waited but it never once got hot. I quickly shut it off and wrapped my robe around myself, opening the bathroom door, and stomping down the stairs. When i got down there buck was sitting at the breakfast bar feeding the dogs pieces of pancake. I stood in the doorway with my hands on my hips. None of them noticed me though until i cleared my throat. I pointed at bucky with a stern expression on my face.

"You could have told me before i went in the bathroom that i would be showering in the waters of the arctic. If you use up all the hot water again i swear to god! You're on the couch for a month!"

He looked at me sheepishly but quickly looked back at the whining wonder twins begging for more pancake. He got up, then, and walked to me with open arms.

"I did think i used that much, honest."

He tried to give me a hug but i kept him an arms length away.

"No no, its a dry shampoo day now because of you."

I gave him a smirk and turned to go back upstairs and get dressed, reign following closely behind me because he was no longer being fed.

***

The next day i woke up around 8. It was good to know i was up early enough to shower and be to work on time. I grabbed my clothes, assuming bucky was gone already, or downstairs letting the dogs out, and quickly went to the bathroom to shower. When i turned the water on again i did the same as yesterday, turning it to the hottest setting and waiting for it to warm up; but it never did. I stomped down the stairs again and was met with the dogs at the back door whining to be let in. i gladly opened the door and watched them run to the laundry room down the hall under the stairs. I was met with bucky leaning against the dryer, hair still wet, reading the back of the dog food back that he'd presumably just emptied into the big plastic container. I raised an eyebrow at him and stood with my hands on my hips again. When he looked up at me he noticed the stance and tried to offer me a small smile.

"Have any guesses on why im angry and still in my robe?"

He bent down to pet the dogs as they ate only looking up at me with quick glances.

"I.... dont.... Know...?"

"I was serious yesterday, ya know."

"Bout what?"

I dropped my shoulders in defeat.

"You get to sleep on the couch my friend. You gotta stop stealing all the hot water before i get up in the morning, now im gonna have to back to showering at night."

"Oh come on, you cant banish me to the couch tonight!"

"Watch me."

I turned to leave and heard him call after me as i walked back upstairs.

"Come on babe, its not like its entirely my fault!"

I saw him drop his arms to his sides, looking up the stairs at me as i walked back into our room.

***

I tossed and turned quite a few times, looking at the clock every time i did. And soon it was midnight and i still couldn't fall asleep. I sat up slowly and noticed only lili had made it upstairs to sleep in the corner of the room where she normally resided. I yawned and rubbed my eyes before rolling out of bed and making my way to the stairs. I wanted to find bucky but i didnt know what i would do when i reached him, its not like i was gonna wake him up. He normally had a hard time falling asleep as it was and i would just feel guilty waking him up over something so stupid. I hit the bottom of the stairs and decided to sit there for a second, cuddling up to reign who gladly found me shortly after i sat down on the last stair. I whispered to him for a short minute.

"I never really realized how lonely it gets in bed without him ya know."

He just stared at me and panted, almost smiling through the thick darkness. I smiled back and scratched behind his ears.

"Dont know what im gonna do with myself if hes already asleep reign. Guess ill just have to sit alone in bed till its time to get up. Then ill be groggy all day cause i didnt get to cuddle up to bucky bear."

I sighed heavily and watched reign make the short walk to the laundry room for a drink. I sighed heavily and pushed myself off the stair and tiptoed through the kitchen. When i found myself in the doorway of the living room i couldn't find it in myself to go further, i just watched for a second before closing my eyes and rubbing my hands over my face. When i opened my eyes again i could see bucky standing by the couch, stretching his arms. When he dropped them he brought his metal arm to scratch the back of his head. Suddenly reign ran beside me, panting, dripping water down the side of my leg as he did. I made an audible gasp, followed by a soft

"ew, reign, thats nasty."

I looked up and immediately slapped my hand over my mouth, bucky now looking at me through the darkness. I let out a nervous laugh before bucky reached over and turned on the lamp beside the couch. He gave me a soft smile.

"How long have you been standing there?"

I shrugged.

"Not long, couldnt sleep."

I crossed my arms tightly over my chest and looked at the ground.

"Guess i haven't spent enough time away from you. I still feel uncomfortable when your not in bed with me."

I looked up to see him smiling, and holding his arms out to me. I gladly obliged, walking over and giving him a big hug.

"You know i think thats why we work so well together. I mean i wouldn't have asked you to marry me if i didnt think so."

I looked up at him and smiled, fidgeting with my engagement ring behind his back as we held each other.

"And im so glad you did, you make me angry from time to time, like using all the hot water, but i dont know what i would do without you."

He let out a small laugh and let go of me, pulling me down onto the couch with him. We sat in silence for a couple minutes just examining each other. Pretty soon both the dogs were cuddled up beside us. I let out a long sigh and laughed a little to myself.

"What?"

I shook my head.

"How come your such a pain all the time?"

He smiled back at me.

"Im your husband, its my job."

I poked him a little.

"Not yet you arent."

we both just laughed a little.

"Soon, very very soon."

He kissed the top of my head and cuddled close to me. Not before long and he turned the light out, noticing the heaviness of my eyes. Soon we were both asleep against each other, cuddled up on the couch with the rest of our little family.

[dxmagedrose]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!

Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex​ I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!

PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;

FIRST NAME Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it. 

Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now!  [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore.  even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye.  i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her. ( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???

A FOOD YOU HATE barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!

GUILTY PLEASURE the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way. 

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all. 

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN FLYPAPER.  F L Y P A P E R.  FLYPAPER.  FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street.  roast me.

FAVORITE BOOK White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL] Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani.  I am but a simple opossum. 

PIE OR CAKE Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.

FAVORITE SCENT my dogs / my blanket. :’)  It’s the most grounding smell in the world. 

CELEBRITY CRUSH oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I——  I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!!  take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.

IPHONE OR ANDROID I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies

DREAM JOB Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT…   the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER Supernatural :-)

… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //

[stitchthebratprince-blog]

Yesterday was good day. Well as good is its going to get without you. I did something that i did not want to do but that you so desperately wanted when you were here. I cried when i saw Jorge, Alex in our house. In your home. I did not want to take them to go see you. I cried cause i did not want to do it. Not without you. I didn't want to deal with this. I cried but after that felt you in my heart. I still do. You gave me the strength to deal with this to persevere.

I was not prepared for the hugs. I wanted to just to shake their hands be distant and civil. I guess a bit cold. But i wanted to be on my best behavior, for you. I was though on my best behavoir. I didn't put Jorge in the ground like I promised him because my promise to you is more important.

I got to the mortuary early. I flew there to see you. I left them in my wake. My mom being who she starts to nag me about it. Trying to claim rights she lost long ago. Rights you made sure she knew where yours, when you were here. We protected each other.

I had to wait for Korrey the lady that is helping us, better yet me with these arrangements. I really wanted to dress you. My mom wants to be a miteda but i stopped her at the door. Your only fault was that you are very vanidosa. I knew that whatever state you were in you did would not be happy if they saw you like that. I went in before them by myself. I wanted, needed to do this myself. Well at least with out their help. Ended getting help from one of the worker in the mortuary. I put your pjs on 1st. I cut your toe nails. You always let them get to long. You should have told me you needed them cut already. I even cut the skin flap on the sole of your right foot. The one that always bothered you. put your socks on cause i know how you hated having cold feet. I put your crocs on in case you may have wanted to get up and walk around cause i know you hate walking barefoot, i hoped you may have gotten up to walk around for me one more time and told me anything and everything else you needed to tell me and to hug me and give me one last kiss. I even put on your nice robe in case i know how when you are outside of the house for a long stay like in the hospital, you dont like to be in just your pjs. You like to be covered up. You hate the cold but you also hate the heat more. But Your body was so cold.

Alex rode with us. He is a bit more respectful now or it could be that they are in mourning.

My dad and Jorge got lost or better yet I left them behind.

It reminded me of the winter when we would wake up in the morning and I would cook breakfast and you would come into the kitchen or when I would go to your room to wake you up and you would hug me and even though the heater was on your hands would be so cold and then you would be trying to get your hand under my shirt to hug me and steal my heat to warm yourself up. "Hmmm you're so warm. Give me!" And i would scream and we would play around and laugh while i tried to wrestle you off while in a loud and playful voice i would say ,"Stop! get off me dude! How are you so fucking cold?" We would only stop after the babies would start barking and dog piling on us and kiss us. You would let go and say, "Babies calm down! I'm not hurting your poppa! He is ok he is jus a big cry baby is all. I couldn't hurt even if i wanted to he is to big and strong. " i guess i am proving you right with the crybaby part now.

As I was zipping up your robe for the final time. You did something. Your physical body did something beautiful and wonderful. I was filled with hope that my prayer were being answered that there was a miracle and you did it you came back. Do you remember when we try and see what clothes fit you and we try to fit you into a pair of pants or i would help you get dressed in the hospital and you would be sitting on the bed and then lay down and throw your head back and huff and complain, "I've gotten too fat." Well you threw your head of the little brick pillow but without the huff. I smiled because i know you are still here with me. You are filling me with strength to keep on going. I had to finally agree with you that you had gotten a little fat. I see it now but i never saw it before because you were always so animated so vibrant and alive. Even in your sleep. But at least i was right it was water weight because they said because of the decomp you retain a lot of water and were beginning to leak all of that water. At least in death you shed that water weight right? Always with the extreme measures

To me you are my mom. To me you are beautiful. To me you are the whole world and more.

After i was done getting you dressed i called the family in. Who by now are as good as strangers to me but were never ever far from your mind and heart. Its been 10 years since i last spoke to them, a month in my mom's case. But I agreed to let my mom get them organized to see you on friday. Its what you really wanted in life and i denied it to you. You never held any ill will to me for it because you know i didn't want to expose you to pain. These people were toxic to you. You never deserved their hate. You never deserved their anger towards you. You never held any ill will toward them, all you had was love. You were not perfect but god dammit you were close to it.

They all went to you. One by one and said their good byes. They cried. They hugged you. They kissed you. They asked for your forgiveness. I had stop crying. There was no anger only a stillness in me. I felt all of this was very hypocritical at this point. I didnt say anything though. I didnt reach out to comfort anyone. I behaved. I let go out and wait and then we said our good byes. That soon you will be home to rest in your house. I know how you hate being gone from the house for to long. The babies miss you and i asked that when my time comes please let it be you that comes for me. Don't leave me. Please keep an eye on me. But if you can some way some how please come back to me. I'll need you no matter what. Its selfish of me but i don't care. You let me be selfish.

We had dinner. We ate at your favorite thai restaurant out here in riverside. I felt such warmth there. Not heat from outside we even got an extra thai ice tea. I guess that was for you. I drank it though. I thought you would not mind you know because of the lack of a physical body and you being dead and all. I know how much loved them though. I was so at peace yet so disconnected. After dinner though when we left the restaurant i had it out with them. I told them off. I didnt cuss at them Or say it in anger. I said it from the heart. I've started to let go of the pain and hate you were so worried would consume me. I guess you were worried about me getting angry but i didn't i only cussed twice. I laid all my issues with each individual person and told them how it was going to be. Jorge got angry i guess. I didnt really care not just because i exposed all of his sins but because i did it in front of his lady. I know what you would have said in the car. "You told them only 6 people. Thats you, my mom, my dad, alex, leslie, and him. He shouldn't have brought his entourage. But it was nice seeing oswaldito. He has gotten so tall." It was a reckoning. For them and for me. I did apologize to them because i know i was the only thing keeping them from you. I horded your love and attention. I tried to protect you. I feel bad because you wanted this, You were wearing me down on this issue, and i kept denying you. I know most of all you wanted this because you wanted me to let go of the hate and anger and i did.

Jorge left after that in a huff and mom wasnt happy eitherLeslie wanted ice cream so we went to the plaza. We sat around and talked we tried to talk about you but you know mom. She is so self centered and started in on her issues with my dad. I didnt want this shit eithe and i told her this. She got upset cause i shut her down. We left after that.

I had thought things were going to be bad and i had made plans i overbook. I should have cancelled them. I should have just stayed home. I just dont want people to think i am suicidal. Everyone keeps thinking that. I think but i am not. I wont hurt myself or the babies. They are our family. They are your legacy. Ohana! And what does ohana mean? It means family and no one gets left behind. At least now that you are no longer physically here i can start to fill the house with pictures of you and us like i wanted.

I still feel you here so i will stop with the day to day bs. I'll limit this to the things i cant say to you in public. Cause if people think i am going to off myself now they will probably have me committed if i started to talk to you out in public... at least when i do talk to "myself" when i am problem solving i'll be talking to you.

[strange-where-the-birds-go]

Lights At The Top Of The Stairs

Part 1.

I lived until I was 7 years old with my Nan. My nan and granddad were like my mum and dad and I loved them dearly. I frequently had strange dreams and occurrences happen to me as a child and they have only got stronger and stranger the older I got particularly the past few years. This recurring dream involved an old film camera and strangely enough an immense feeling of euphoric pleasure, fantastic experiences and visitors at weird times and in funny circumstances. The dream was one of three that I had all the time the first one happened when I was young and involved me taking photographs of lampposts, (I know I still don’t get it even now, maybe one day I may understand it’s strange. But it gets even stranger I assure you as you will no doubt find out if you follow the story. So strange you will probably find it all very hard to believe. But on my nans life and grave god bless her it’s all true. The lampposts featured in the dream was on the street where I lived as a child. The other two dreams and all the events in my life I want to explain, I will get to as I post these episodes each day. The synchronicity events and strangeness of it all should eventually become clear and leave you questioning things in your own life and what they may mean. Maybe you have had similair experiences as myself I am almost certain there will be people out there. Get in touch and comment I will be happy to reply.

Thinking from the present as I am writing this, I felt that my childhood dreams couldn’t be ignored but now looking back maybe they shouldn't have been followed considering what happened when I followed my dreams thinking it would be nothing but all good turned into something entirely different. Hopefully eventually I will understand why, what the dream meant, if anything at all. I hope it all becomes a happy positive event and not regretting my choices as I started to after the nightmare that entered my life.

It was a warm, hopeful summer, many years after the events I explain to you here that I remembered the childhood dreams. It was a summer where dreams seemed real and obtainable. I didn't want to be just another faceless nobody, with no real reason or meaning in my life. The idea of not doing anything worth while scared me, and that's all there was to it. The dream I had as a child was going to be followed with all my will, I just didn’t expect it to lead me where it eventually did. I just wanted to do well for my family. I can’t travel back and change things. I can now only hope for the best.

My mum gave birth to me at a young age and I went to live with my grandma. I called my grandma mum and always used to get my mum and nan’s names mixed up when I talked to them so this was the appropriate solution to me as a child. When I was living with my nan-mum I had a very strange dream whilst lying on my bed upstairs. I always until this day remember the dream. It’s what I influenced me me greatly to start my photographic journey.

I was settling down in the living room waiting for my Nan to come home. Strange visions and flashbacks in daydreams. knowledge I always wondered how I knew at a young age. My mum lived in a flat and felt it would be better on that I stayed with my nan while she worked to get money and a stable life for us. I was young anyway and loved my Nan and grandad and tonight I was looking forward to spending time with my them.

My Nan had been longer than usual this evening and I was getting worried. We were going to watch a spooky film together because it was Halloween. “Where’s nan gone Grandad” My 5 year old self said “ She’s ran off with the milk man” came the reply. I never really understood what this meant, just a funny remark at the time knowing my grandads humour.

The key turned in the front door and I felt better glad his Nan was home and safe. My grandad shouted “ be back later Mary there’s some money on top of the television if you need anything I wont be too long, going to speak to a man about some work tomorow” and with that my grandad went out on foot to the local for a few pints.

Nan took off her head scarf, quickly hung it up and threw her anorak over the back of the chair. She walked slowly towards the roaring coal fire to warm up her hands, carefully avoiding the tin bath prepared for the school bath earlier. She lit up a cigarette and sat in the chair opposite the brown veneered square TV set with the 50p box on the side slowly winding its way down ready for another hexagonal queens head. The air was stale, thick with smoke and the smell of cigarettes as she inhaled twice slowly blowing the smoke towards the ceiling and away from me. Feeling satisfied She turned to me. Ive got some jacket potatoes in the oven and treacle toffee, oh and toffee apples as well your favourite. I know its early but we can treat ourselves while we watch the movie, and why not”. “Thanks mum... nan”. I regularly stuttered and got names mixed up. “Thanks nan, are you looking forward to the scary move?” I can only remember seeing a large black Alsatian but having ominous feelings about this dog and the music in the film was eerie, more scary than the actual film at the time. We didn’t get to watch much of it. The tv went black and the 50p meter clicked loudly asking for another coin. Mary got up and went to the top of the tv looking for that big silver piece, inverted triangles that meet in the centre, in the pile of coins Grandad had left for nan “ I’m afraid we haven’t got any 50ps. We will have to wait until your grandad gets back now, isn’t that a shame I was enjoying that, Just when it was getting good as well”

I felt slightly fed up and walked into the kitchen to get a toffee apple. Pausing at the bottom of the stairs in the hallway I peered up to the bedroom landing. More scared now than after watching the actual film. I was thinking of the lights that came. I didn’t understand what they were but they made me feel anxious and scared. I wouldn’t look straight up tothe top of the stairs as it was too scary I had to peer out from the corner of my eye to check everything was ok up there and when I realised it was I hurriedly half jumped half ran across the front door hallway into the kitchen not once looking behind until I was at the toffee apples in the cupboard. Then peeling the yellow plastic wrapper off the sticky apple I took a bite as quickly as possible making sure to get as much of that red toffee in my mouth as possible and avoid the sour apple. I started hopping on the spot needing the toilet. The dread filled me as I knew I couldn’t go on my own up those stairs towards where the light came from. The light might get me. “ NANN, MUMM, NANN. I need the toilet will you sit on the stairs whilst I go please I’m bursting. “OK, But you should be able to go yourself”. I stood at the gas iron cooker and waited until nanmum appeared at the bottom of the stairs so I could approach the crooked steps, the lights formed in my sub conscious worried that very real and strange wisp of light might make another appearance. WHAT WAS IT. I ran to the bathroom at the top of the crooked stairs, terrified of the light appearing. I knew how it felt, never threatening at all the last time in fact quite the opposite but I was young and the not knowing scared me. “Nan don’t move, stay sat there please, I’m watching, if you go I wont be able to have a wee”, “ I wont move an inch you know that I wont” “I knew she wouldn’t let me down and trusted her more than anything” I ran up the stairs as quickly as possible looking back every two steps to make sure she hadn’t gone. When reaching the top step I kept my head and eyes straight forward not daring to look right or left and quickly went to the toilet pushing outwards as fast as possible always keeping the door open and making a backward glance towards Her for reassurance. No quicker was I finished and I was halfway back down those stairs again breathing heavily with the exertion and back with his nan. “ Why do you do that”, she said “The light comes nan it scares me” “What light?” “ I cant tell you, I want to, but I cant tell you”. Nan rolled her eyes and said, “You’ve been watching too many horror movies at aunty carols your imagination is wild”. I didn’t even hear Marys remark I was just so relieved to be back beside his nan and safe again.

Nan eventually found a 50p and walked over to the meter fumbling to find the right angle, the perfect spot so it would wind and drop, it clicked and fell into the empty box readily, having been emptied the day before. The TV came to life and Mary switched over to coronation street. Hilda was sat with Stan underneath the triple flying ducks in the living room and it reminded Stefan of his nan and grandad, Gail was also my other mum. I always made these comparisons with everyone in the tv and read their names backwards. “thats enough scary movies for tonight said nan. I think its best don’t you” “Aww Nan I wanted to watch till the end”.

My nan didn’t answer. She just gave me that look. She always knew the answer it was a sort of instinct she had. A knowing. We connected like that. We rarely had to speak we both knew the other like the inside of a well read secret book. I always felt content around her, it was like she could read my mind and the looks she gave me spoke a thousand words resonating on a much deeper level. When you feel the answer with your subconscious voice, those continuous thoughts, in your mind you don’t have to speak but your heart knows.

I was getting sleepy now but my stress levels were rising with the thought of bedtime, they always did especially on a Sunday night, a school night brought depression. It wasn’t school though that scared me, a small part maybe, but it was knowing I had to go to bed early on my own and face the light and the vastness of open space. The people in my dreams. The place between awake and falling asleep where the strange existed. The light outside the door on the landing, so bright and beautiful it would fill my room when I shut my eyes. When it touched my mind I was taken away to an immense blackness of what seemed like outer space. Where feelings crossed over and smells mixed with colours in ultraviolet strings that wrapped around my arms and merged with needles that pierced the tips of my fingers in moments of pleasure accompanied by a peculiar watering of the mouth, a sickly feeling. Floating around in what seemed like an endless universe of random screen images. Pixelated people and smooth two dimensional places wrapped up in tubes of light. It made no sense at all but felt strange and infinite, never endingly good at the same instant. Chattering noises and a great feeling of love wrapped in greater love and surrounded by humanoid like shapes manipulating it like a Rubin’s cube in an instance where all time stood still. silence for what felt like an eternity of singular moments posed inside each other, but was only a second in reality. Not past, present or future but only “is”. The light was so bright and perfect it became transparent emotion to the pit of my soul. To me it was normal I thought everyone must get visits by the light people. I find it hard to explain the happenings now I’ve grown up, but as a child I just couldn’t comprehend what was happening and that night was the start of something strange and beautiful that led to the worst and best time of my life all wrapped into one. If only I understood it as I understand things now as I walked towards the crooked stairs.

[gottalovetheletos]

Surprising Jared on Tour

Authors note: I’m sorry the intro is so long. It’s just setting the scene. Anyway as usual I hope you enjoy. x 

WARNINGS: smut.

Jared Imagine.

Surprising Jared on tour.

“Y/N I miss you so much” Jared whined down the phone. “I know I miss you too” “We’ve been together a year and a half now and I swear it gets harder to leave you, beautiful” “Well it sure doesn’t get any easier babe” I sighed. “So how have you been” He carefully asked knowing things haven’t been the best lately as I’ve been filling him in via text. “Honestly… not good. Tina, my boss, won’t accept my report. So she’s making me write out another plus one more because apparently I fucked up this one. My laptop is broken so now I have to work off of my phone which is horrible because the screen is so bloody small and… my new assistant keeps bringing her home life into work. She keeps fighting with her boyfriend, so he rings the office and shes constantly on the phone therefore I’m not getting any messages because clients cant get through to her and she’s slacking. So I stay at the office until 8 pm trying to pick up the pieces and have done for the last month” I feel the tears forming in my eyes and my voice cracks when I say “ and I just need a cuddle”. I hear Jared sigh on the phone. “Sorry babe, I’m just feeling sorry, for myself, I just miss you a hell of a lot that’s all”. 

“Y/N listen. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself, it sounds like you’ve got a lot on your shoulders right now and I’m sorry I cant be there” “Oh for fuck sake! Zeus has just pooped on the floor”. I interrupted. “Oh sweetie. After you’ve dealt with that you need to go and have a relaxing bath then bed” Jared convinced me. We said our goodbyes, tears leaving a transparent path down my face. I sat in the chair with my face in my hands. Zeus, the new bi-eyed Siberian husky puppy, (Jared got me before he left) came over to me and started to lick my tears. “Sorry bud, I’m not mad at you I wasn’t watching. Do you, your brother and sister want to go outside?” I asked them. All three of them ran to the patio door. Hunter, he was our first husky boy, then Echo, my princess came. All rescued of course. Such good company for when I was on my on. I closed the patio door behind them leaving the cool autumnal air outside. I boiled some water so I could make a tea. After rinsing the spoon I let the dogs back in and locked the door behind them and closed the curtains. I walked up the stairs with my pack behind me. Walking into the dully lit bedroom I rested my tea on my bedside table. Dragging my feet into the en-suite bathroom I started to run the bath. Took of my clothes and put them in the hamper. I dimmed the lights and slowly sank myself into the hot, bubbly water. Echo, my lovely girl, came in to check on me. She could always tell when I was upset. She licked my tears and made her way back to the bedroom. I watched the water slowly disappear down the drain and dried myself off. I walked into the bedroom and was met by 3 sets of eyes that glanced up from the bed. Picked out some pajamas, got into bed and started drinking my tea. *The Next Day* Tina called me into her office. “Y/N, why have you been staying until 8 pm?” She asked looking slightly pissed off. “Well I’ve been having problems with Lola, my new assistant” I continued to explain my troubles in the office. “Right let me sort something. Come back to me in 20 minutes”. I nodded and walked away. Back at my desk there was a parcel wrapped in brown paper and a red bow with a note. It read ‘To my gorgeous hard working woman. Love you. J x’. I opened it and it was a brand new mac-book. Bless him. He was truly my angel. I spent the 20 minutes setting everything up on the laptop. Once i’d finished I walked back into Tina’s office. “Y/N, for the past month you have been staying until 8 pm and sometimes later. You must be under a lot of stress. I understand your partner is away too. So I’ve made a executive decision, I’m going to give you 2 weeks off. You need to spend that time catching up with anything you need to, I’m also taking your first report. Don’t worry about the other two. I’ll get the editor on the first one and well, we’ll make it work”. Standing there in complete shock I didn’t know what to do. “I want you to leave normal time today 5 pm okay?” I nod my head, thanked her and walked out of her office with a beaming smile. Sat back down at my desk I looked up out of my door to see Lola on the phone to her boyfriend once again. I didn’t mid so much today because I wasn’t really getting any work done. I texted Shannon. ’ Hey Shan, Hope you’re all doing okay. I need a really big favor please. x He got back to me instantly. ‘Hey angel, all good here thank you, and yourself? What do you need? x ’ 'Yep all good here too thank you, well I have been given 2 weeks off from tomorrow, I want to fly out and surprise Jared. I need country, area, and hotel please. x’ 'That’s awesome. Yes I can do. I will send the details over for tomorrows location x’. After half an hour of speaking to Shannon I had booked my plane ticket and Shannon rang the hotel to let them know I was coming to stay with Jared. I had also phoned up a friend and she said she would look after the dogs. The only thing I needed to do was pack my bags. 5 pm came around faster than expected. I literally sped home and greeted by my 3 fur babies. A quick dinner was all I needed I grabbed my suitcase and stared packing. My friend came over to pick up the dogs and left. I went to bed.          My flight was at 1 pm. I quickly put on some clothes and a little makeup. The flight to Paris took around 11 hours. It was 9 pm in Paris luckily their hotel wasn’t too far from the airport. I arrived and checked in at the hotel. First thing I did was take a shower, thankfully the show didn’t end until 10:30 pm. I dolled myself up and made my way to the show. Shannon had hidden a backstage pass for me in the room, I made sure to take it with me. Finally backstage in their dressing room, I began to feel nervous. I could hear the show coming to a close and heard the rumbling of the boys down the hall. The door swung open. Jared’s face was shocked but he was so happy “Oh My God babe, what? How? I thought you were working. “Surprise” I shout. “I’ll explain later”. I received a hug off of Shannon and Tomo. “Uh, we’re gonna go for a walk” Tomo said. They both left the room and Jared and I were alone. He sat on the couch and patted the space next to him. I sat down. “How was the show?” I asked while stroking his hand. “Awesome and even better now you’re here” I giggled “Thank you for my gift by the way, I have something for you when we get back to the hotel room” I said putting my leg over so I was straddling him. He raised his eyebrows as I gently rocked my hips. “Oh really?” he questioned “Oh yeah” I moaned slightly bending down to kiss just below his ear. I could feel one hand on my ass and the other leading down to my panties that were already wet from me grinding, as he was sucking on my collar bone leaving little marks of lust behind. Shannon walked in. “Hey Jared sorry can I used your charger… can you two not wait until we’re back at the hotel?” he giggled. “Charger’s over there” Jared pointed. My hips still slowly bumping into his growing erection. His hand still rubbing my sensitive nub with his thumb and slipped a finger in. “Fuck” I whispered. Maybe a little too loud because Shannon definitely heard. “Guys, I’m still in the room. Please wait before anything else happens. I don’t want to watch this live sex show” We all laughed. “Well we should make our way back to the hotel. Jared said ceasing all physical contact between us. "Yeah good idea” Shannon insisted and left the room to find Tomo. “Leave the skirt on, take off the panties” Jared instructed. He put them in his pocket as I didn’t bring my purse.   We arrived at the entrance of the hotel and made our way to the elevator. Jared and I stood at the back. while everyone filtered in front of us. He lifted the back of my skirt and began to squeeze my ass again. He pushed open my leg a little and found the hole again, rubbing up and down the pushing a finger in. Slowly pumping in and out. I tried not to squirm, it was very hard. He was so good! We reached our floor and his finger retreated. He licked what was left of me off of his finger which just made me hornier. Once in our hotel room he pushed me up against the door kissing me forcefully. I escaped his grip and lead him towards the bed. Undressing him I could see a huge erection in his underwear. Once freed I held him in my mouth. Slowly bobbing my head, forgetting how big it actually was. I love the sound of his moans. He thrusts into my mouth. I feel him go all the way down my throat. He pulls me up so I am positioned right above his face. Lowering myself down I moan upon impact. He mouth is magic when it comes to foreplay. Jared knows how to control me. He knows all of my sweet spots and if he does it just right can make me cum at the drop of a hat. I can’t take anymore. I slowly move back down his chest so his dick is aligned with my entrance, before he goes in he rolls me over and starts by placing one finger then another he’s making a come hither motion and making wriggle. “J, don’t be a tease, I need more of you. I need you to fuck me, Please” I beg. “Our wish is my command” and slowly entered.  We moan in unison. “I have missed you so much” He said. “Mmmhmm” was all that could escape my lips and I was concentrating on not cuming too early. His slower pumps turned into rougher ones. I realize I cannot hold it any longer I need release. My eyes rolled back and my body uncontrollably jerking as he still stroked my clit while I had reached my climax. Him seeing me like this made him ready too. He went in with deep long thrusts, faster and faster until I was filled with his hot liquid. He collapsed on my chest and began caress my arm saying “I’m so glad you’re here. How long can you stay for?”. “I’m glad too. sometimes all I need is you, and just a little under 2 weeks”. I replied placing sensual kisses all over his face. He rolled of me and laid on his back with his arms behind his head. I cuddled up to him. “Well then we’re doing that every fucking night” Jared chuckled.

P.S. If you’ve made it this far down thank you <3 

Also do you guys prefer my imagines with gifs and pictures? and would you rather me write in first person or not? (like would you rather me write : You and Jared walked to the lobby. Or, Jared and I walked to the lobby?)

Once again thank you. Beautiful echelon family <3 x x x

[fandomfollower13]

The Sons of Hell PT.3

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Charlie Bradbury, Jo Harvelle, Benny Lafitte, John Winchester, (mentioned ) Mary Winchester, Crowley McLeod, Lucifer, Balthazar, Gabriel, Lisa, Rowena, Ellen Harvelle Cain, Ruby (2.0), Meg (2.0),(mentioned)  Jess (characters might be added later on)

Warnings: Mature content, language, use and talk of drugs and Alcohol, weapons, violence, death, lying, plotting?, POV changing, blood, threats, Shakespeare quotes, Almost/kinda smut,    (I WILL be updating warnings as much as I can)

Pairing: Dean x Reader (eventually)  

A/N (C/N)= College Name  

a/n sorry for any mistakes

Summary: Winchester, a name that strikes fear to any who hear it. The Winchesters ran one of the most feared gang in all of New York, The Sons of hell but as every gang must have they of course have enemies, Hell’s Demons being the top one. John Winchester was the boss of Sons of Hell he is ruthless and crude and he wants the next boss of the Son’s just like him and the next boss just so happens to be his eldest son Dean Winchester, A womanizing, badass guy and gorgeous man but he was also rude and sarcastic with so many walls around his heart but will someone from the other side break them? or will they get caught in the crossfire?

Readers POV

I stealthy sneaked past the guards and back into my room. it was early morning now and all I could think about was my ‘not date’ with Dean. I heard the click of  my door someone was finally going to talk to me, my dad stepped into my room, ‘’finally! I’m an adult! you cant just lock me away anymore!’’ I yelled his stiff demeanor not changing ‘’sweetie I think you should head back home, I have a lot of new rich dangerous clients and the run in you had last night was too close’’ his accent was thick and what was being Said didn’t seem like a suggestion. ‘’No.’’ I retorted he seemed surprised ‘’Darling think it through before you make a rash decision’’ and he was gone. Am I in serious danger?

Dean’s POV

Crowley has a daughter. Y/N. ‘’Finally we have leverage!’’ dad screamed pulling me from my thoughts, ‘’I cant believe…… Crowley the ‘king’ has a daughter, he’s the biggest- ’’ before Sammy could even finish his sentence dad started to ramble. ‘’I cant believe this, I think we need to get to work’’ he puffed on a cigarette   with a big smile on his face. a demented smile. ‘’how is work going to give us leverage’’ I took a swig of my beer waiting, ‘’oh I’m not sending you on regulars I’m sending you, dean, to ‘harder’ things’’ I nodded. Sam and Charlie gave me quick glance. ‘’well I need to go, few more people I have to see’’ snatching my gun I left quickly, I need coffee.

I pulled into a coffee shop on a corner, I wasn’t exactly lying I did have to see people, Harry Spengler and Ed Zeddmore. I saw them in a corner booth both starring at their computers, they had big bags under their eyes and their eyes were bloodshot and pupils small. I rolled my eyes and slammed my hands on their table. they jumped and grabbed their chests. I laughed ‘’well I wasn’t excepting this’’ I snickered ‘’you almost gave me a heart attack you ass-’’ I pulled out my gun and pointed it at harry, no one on the café saw just them. ‘’now I thought you two jackasses told me you couldn’t pay your debt because you couldn’t even afford coffee’’ I waved my gun towards the two steaming cups ‘’and if I’m correct that’s coffee, so did you lie to me’’ they both looked  scared shitless. ‘’I-w-we can explain’’ harry stammered I clicked my guns safety off. ‘’Harry? Ed?’ a familiar voice chimed behind me, ‘it cant’ ‘’Y/N!’’ they yelled in unison. they scrambled out of their booth, I bit my lip and turned, there stood her, the mystery girl, or now not so mystery. Y/N.

‘’Well, fate really wants us to keep bumping into each other’’ I smirked slipping my gun back into my waistband. She turned her beautiful smile growing. Crowley’s daughter. ‘’hi dean’’ she pulled a piece of stray hair behind her ear. ‘’Wait! y/n you know.. Him’’ ed said glancing over at me, I returned with a sneer. ed took a small step back making me smirk as I leaned against the table. ‘’uh yeah, I’ve met dean a few times’’ Y/n explained. she played with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. something flashed in Harrys eyes, fear, he knows. ‘’uhm ed I think we better go. we have that…thing we have to do’’ and they were gone in seconds, son of a bitch, ‘’did I say something?’’ y/n said her eyebrows raised in confusion. Crowley’s daughter. ‘’no their just jackasses ‘’ she shook her head giggling. ‘’I thought you said fate was bitch’’ she said taking a timid step closer. I bit my lip as I stood taking a step towards her. I couldn’t stop myself. ‘’you ready for tonight sweetheart?’’

Readers POV

Damn you dean Winchester. Even when I saw him not merely a few hours ago it felt like so much longer. I know he’s a Winchester. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I cant help it. ‘’and what should be ready for? hm?’’ my body taking over and stepping closer to him. he flashed his perfect smile. ‘’oh you know going on a date with me’’ he gestured to himself. my face flushed. looking down at my shoes. ‘’and I thought the oh great dean Winchester doesn’t do dates’’ I could tell he was smirking. ‘’ ill make an exception for you sweetheart’’ and there it is. I couldn’t help but smile. ‘’well if I am too get ready I should get going’’ I took a step back. suddenly I was stopped he grabbed my hand and pulled me a little closer. I couldn’t move. our noses almost touching, ‘’see you tonight sweetheart’’ his voice was husky, damn him, I blushed and smiled I turned and headed to the door.

I walked around a few corners smiling and blushing. ‘’Y/n! stop doing that.’’ meg ran towards me quickly looping our arms together. ‘’Do you want me to die, if your father found out you just sneaked away, he’ d have my head!’’ she screamed waving her left hand. ‘’Meg, I’m sorry I just needed coffee’’ I held up the cup, she sighed and shook her head ‘’fine but if your fat-’’ I held my hand up, ‘’he wont I promise, now I’m sorry but lets go find ruby and go shopping’’ I flashed a smile, meg smiled, ‘’fine, but your buying me new shoes’’ she pulled me towards where ruby was.

Few Hours Later

‘’I’m so glad your back y/n, with out you I had no girl time’’ ruby laid the bags by my desk, ‘’Hey!’’ meg screeched ‘’oh right your still here’’ ruby rolled her eyes. ‘come on guys don’t fi-’’ a loud knock interrupted me ‘’Ruby! Meg! Meeting now. its about the newest ‘job’ don’t make the king even angrier’’ A voice I recognized as Lilth, ruby and meg rolled their eyes and opened the door and headed towards the meeting. time to get ready.

And a few more hours later (sorry)

I put a nudish pink lip gloss on then carefully put it back on my vanity. I looked myself up and down my outfit was cute but sexy.

I grabbed my phone and headed towards the balcony but yet again something caught my eye. it sat on my dresser and I immediately grabbed it. soon enough I sat on the last branch and I couldn't help but smile. I snapped off another small branch and looked around, two guards walked on the inside of the fence with wo dogs. finally the guards were far enough away and I threw the stick. guns pointed. dogs sniffing. I jumped down and ran. I climbed the fence and ran even faster. finally on the main rode. I held my hand out hailing a cab.  it takes a few minutes before a yellow cab pulls up. I climb in, ‘’Central Park’’ I requested ‘’please’’ I said. my phone buzzed.

BadBoy D

D: Ready darlin?

Y: Ready for you? I don't know am I?

D: Hm we’ll see

And blush. I softly bit my thumb holding back a laugh. leaning against the window watching buildings, cars, and people blur by. and my mind wandering, what am I doing, Winchester.

‘’ok that will be 49.30′’ fuck. of course I would forget my wallet. ‘’oh uhm I'm so s-’’ ‘’here you go cabbie, keep the change’’ a sarcastic voice called from the passenger window. of course. suddenly my door opened. ‘’hello sweetheart’’ he caught his bottom lip between his teeth. He reached out and grabbed my hand ‘’thanks dee’’ a small smile spreading across his face, ‘’whats on the agenda dee’’ noticing he still had my hand. and  blush again. ‘’well sweetheart that's a surprise’’ he smiled wider. we spent twenty minutes walking central park in comfortable silence, when ‘’ok the silence is killing me, tell me something’’ I asked, ‘’don't die on me sweetheart’’ he joked but there was seriousness there, ‘’ok what do you want to know darlin’’ I smiled ‘’ what do you like to do’’ his cocky smirk appearing.

‘’I don't think that's appropriate for a first date’’ a seductive smirk grew, I playfully hit his shoulder, ‘’ugh of course’’ mockingly groaned. ‘’ ok now you. what do you like to do darling’’ before I could even think I blurted ‘’reading, I read a lot of Shakespeare’’ great good going Y/N. dean smirked (if that was even possible) ‘’ah a nerd’’ he playfully called. ‘’I like it.’’ he said making me smile. ‘’I'm starved ready to eat?’’ all I could do is nod.

we sat at a small booth  at a diner dean had driven us too in his beautiful car- sorry his’ baby’. ‘’of course’’ I said quietly ‘’what darlin?’’ ‘’oh of course youd be a burger and fry guy’’ he smiled as he pooped a fry in his mouth, ‘’is that a problem?’’ I smiled back ‘’of course not I missed the new York grease food’’ snatching a fry off his plate. ‘’sweetheart you forgot something’’ he grabbed his beer ‘’ I'm a burger, fry and beer guy’’ and I giggled ‘’oh of course’’.

dean drove us back to central park and by then it was 11:30 and my body was buzzing. ‘’ok darling, follow me’’ he grabbed my hand and lead me to a nice opening at the park. a cold breeze coming around making me shiver, dean noticed and started taking off his jacket ‘’dean no it was just’’ ‘’shut up, your cold, I have a jacket and I'm not cold now here’’ he said wrapping hi brown leather jacket around my shoulders. ‘’your bossy’’ I mocked and he just smirked. ‘’you know it’’ we sat in the grass, talked, laughed and watched the stars.

‘’fancy ring’’ dean quietly mumbled as he held my hand. I looked at my ring finger, a black band with a dark ruby in the middle and black jewels surrounded it. ‘’uh yeah. it I- was my mothers, her engagement ring, my father gave it to her when she turned 20. she died when I was 3. I still remember her though’’  dean squeezed my hand ‘’I'm sorry, my mom died too, I was 4′’ is voice soft. I turned and instantly lost my breathe, his perfect lips, forest eyes, beautiful freckles. I felt his minty breathe on my face.  he leaned in and our lips instantly molded together.  my hands found there way to his neck as his found  my waist.

he gained dominance quickly and I didn't  mind. but unfortunately we needed air. we broke apart gasping, ‘’ wanna go back to my place?’’ he smirked ‘’id love too’’ and it felt like seconds before my back was against his apartment door. his tongue roamed my mouth and his arm held me tight against him. my nails lightly scratched his neck making him groan and I held back a whimper. finally he got the door opened and his hand went under my knee lifting it to his waist. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. threading my fingers in his dirty blonde hair. hiss hands held my thighs as he pushed me against a wall kissing his way down my jaw, to my neck, the across my collar bone. ‘’ok sweetheart I  need you in my bed. now’’ he rasped between kisses. ‘‘ then have my lips the sin that they have took’’ I whispered and in an instant my back hit his soft bed.  oh its going to be a long night

[lupodefae-blog]

PART I.

So I'm writing this simply because yesterday I talked to someone I have a very serious interest in and after a few minutes into the conversation they said that I haven't really shared much about me. That they didn’t even know I'm from New York and not from here. So I'm writing this at 9:50 because I guess I don’t really reveal much to anyone about me. So what better way to reveal all then to just write??? I don’t know… well might as well start My name is Benigno Agosto III, ya I'm the third. My father and grandfather being the first and junior, but more on them later I suppose. I was born in Manhattan, New York but memories of it at my younger age are pretty fuzzy. My mother is Katie and I get everything from here xD minus the skin tone. My father is Benigno Agosto jr. i… honestly don’t know much about him what so ever. All I know and remember is he is a very abusive man and alcoholic. Which was kind of my reasoning to act certain ways when I was younger and how I cat now sort of. We left NY when I was very young but came by it every now and then just for the trips sake. I met my father one time in my life and called him twice. When I called him I was 8 and I simply said 'hi I am your son' to which he didn’t even remember me, saying I'm not his son. So that was great as one could imagine. I met him when I was 13 and he showed no excitement, no emotion toward a crying kid hugging his dad for the first time. So that was fun as well. Then I called him one last time when I was 20 to tell him how I was, he was doing okay and we chatted for a bit. It was okay I guess. But he wanted me to call him dad, which I refused and explained I couldn’t give a man that title who out right abandoned his son and never gave so much as a happy birthday for his whole life. I feel no resentment anymore, when I was younger that’s all I had but no longer. I have 2 sisters on that side of my family and they are both pretty nice, I see my mouth and attitude comes from that side as well, blessings and curses I suppose xD When I was in the beginning stages of school I guess when my creativity came up, I really liked to draw, I liked singing and pretend to be a knight (which I came dressed to school as when asked to come as what I wanted to be when I was older) I had one friend named Huy. Now Huy was what I wanted to be like because he was SUPER cool and drew REALLY WELL. Like he was drawing DBZ characters in 5 minutes when I was drawing weird trees and little animals in hours and they weren't even good. But he told me to keep trying and I did, my teacher Mrs.Cashmen was my teacher and fully supported me and my like of art and me wanting to be better at it. She saw me as sweet and kind, even though I was super quiet (those who know me now yeah, I was EXTEREMLY QUIET) but other then them it was like I was against everyone… like everyone had something against me so I got into a lot of fights that no one even knew about. Around 3-4 grade, cant remember too well because it was just so long ago I had a major crush on one girl named Sarah. I didn’t know what to do, but I thought a good way to get girls was to be what dad was (bad idea) so I stole her Gameboy thinking if I did I could help her look for it and get her to keep talking to me. Eventually I just felt really mean and shitty and just told her the truth. We stopped talking after that obviously which really sucked. Around this time I was still getting into fights, but I had more friends. I saw Mrs. Cashmen from time to time and she always made me feel better. Huy went to another school from what I recall. But like I said I had friends who talked to me. At this point I gave up on art from the amount of comments about how I sucked and how I wasn’t good, so did the thoughts of being a comedian, and actor, and anything involving art really. I got into more fights, but this time for friends instead of them on me. Because I wanted someone to be there for me, so I thought it would be the same for others. unfortunately a kid proved that somewhat wrong when he and His friends jumped me after school for… w.e. reason. From there I got even more distant and to myself. Around that time suicidal thoughts came into play. Wanted to take pills but I didn’t know what would do anything, I wanted to cut myself but I was too scared of having to feel myself bleed out, I wanted to shoot myself but had no way to a freakin gun. Eventually I attempted to jump off my schools balcony on a Wednesday, I was gonna jump but a my gym teacher came and stopped me, I wish I remembered his name because I really appreciate his words. He just told me about how sad everyone would be if I did do it, family and friends, my mom who lost her brother to suicide. So instead of jumping I got taken to the hospital and had an evaluation right after. I lied and said I was okay but I really I didn’t wanna go away somewhere without my mom, because in that time that’s all I really had. After the event I didn’t make big attempts on my life, instead I just drew, wrote and though about what I would do if I could. All the negative thoughts kind of put me in a weird circle of thinking of myself. That if I don’t hate myself everyone will and keep hurting me, if I didn’t hate myself I wouldn’t get anywhere. If I'm breathing I need a find a way to stop so everyone will just leave me alone… but those were inner thoughts. After around grade 5 or 6 I lost all fucks and just got into fights left and right, and fought back really hard. Suspensions and held back one time for the amount of damage I did to one kid, but never once did I start the fights. I met Cristopher and a few others from my early days. They showed me how to be really happy and helped me get back into art and expression and I got a bit better after that. Crushes became relationships, relationships broke down and I got super sad and hard on myself, then they came to help me get better. I guess those were the better years I guess. High school came!! Well fuck, honestly I didn’t think I would really get that far. Thought id be gone before that. But here I was. I saw a girl who was literally my biggest crush in life like I even took the theater class I was in at the time all because she was going to take it too. Very bad I know but that was my thought process at the time xD I was so bad at flirting and my looks weren't as good as they are now (truly was an ugly duckling) messed that one super bad because I just looked weird and stuff. Had a crush on a new girl who was there only for a few weeks and had to go back to Florida after, but we had a relationship for a bit. We did some stuff I never did before most in a sexual context but nothing crazy. I thought id lose her if I didn’t play to her interests, so I played along with the sexual things so I wouldn’t lose her, I lied about being an awesome graphic designer and got caught lying about that and tried to walk around it all and that kind of lead to a break up. Well earned on my end. But she's doing great which I'm very happy to hear. Lots of relationships from that time and lots of break ups, where I was at fault, they were at fault, it was both parties, and some times there weren't many reasons why it just ended. All around honestly it was fun when it was fun and sucked bad when it sucked. All around alright experience College came and I guess at that time is where I came to be the me a lot of you have met and enjoy the most, so I guess I can ramble about stuff in life between all of the times xD I wanted to be a knight, but no one is being kidnapped and taken to castles anymore and no dragons were around to fight so I scrapped that at a young age. I then wanted to be a comedian and actor and performer, then I was told I sucked and I wasn’t funny. But now I am funny as fuck so to those who told me I sucked can suck it now! Bitches!... Ahem, now then. I wanted to be a vet after that because I loved animals, but I hate school just as much as I love them sooooo that went out the window. Now I'm in school trying to get a degree in Law and Psychology, mostly because I want to be a councilor, because I wanna help people who didn’t get the people I did… because everyone really needs SOMEBODY there. I love dogs, I like comedy and horror movies, even though I scream and freak out I still love the rush of horror, I like sitting at home and just relaxing, I enjoy my friends and hanging outside and going out because I didn’t get to any of that till college really. I like sweets, love chocolate but it makes me break out (what a sad life I live) but I eat that shit anyway because fuck it. I like working out even though I'm not super big yet. I like acting and wanna be a voice actor for fun and maybe be in a game or two xD I hate cats because they are the bane of my existence and they hate me. If its kittens then we can have a nice middle ground. I hate dolls because of my Chucky and a few Spanish movies involving dolls, if you ever give me on I will kick the shit out of it and kick the shit out of you simply because you gave it to me. I hate spicy foods, I cant take the heat, but id try it if you truly wanted me to. I dislike seafood, the texture just feels off, but I can eat sushi!!! Mostly because of the other stuff with it. I hate people who abuse others and hate those who hit women, and if I catch that shit anywhere I have been known to jump in that shit and stop it… even though chances are I will get in a shit ton of trouble or get beat I will do it anyway. I right now wanna start a business but I don’t wanna tell anyone about it because I'm afraid someone will do it before me and I cant risk that, because this business plan is one of the only motivations I have right now. I am called a flirt when truly I just enjoy complimenting people and knowing they are happy and see something good in them, not to gain anything out of it. I have the outward appearance of someone who might model, write awesome stuff, take wild adventures and live a great life with woman and money But I am a nerd in a handsome body xD I play dungeons and dragons, video games, and honesty am super shy despite the mask I wear that shows me being so super out there and up in crowds. I play guitar and don’t think I'm too good at it, I write a lot of poetry and stories… but I hate what I wrote. I take selfies and pictures of things but I hate what I capture on cameras at times. I am a guy who shows so much confidence but really has very little views on himse

[sweetlifetownsville]

The Vigilante Of The 'Ville: Our Mayor's Goes Full Bogan On Potential Looters

In a thinly disguised endorsement of vigilante violence, Mayor Mullet plays to the bogan voting block and further bolsters Townsvilles backwoods image. And the blame game has already started, with the Premier tossing Mayor Mullet a hospital pass on national TV and the mayor instantly fumbling it on Also, why Astonisher editor Jenna Cairney may not be with us much longer could it be argued shes doing too good a job? Youll stop laughing when you see the latest readership numbers. And while debate about insurance premiums are sure to be front and center following our floods, worse news on that front from down south a Queensland judge has just made an astounding ruling that could send premiums through the roof across the board And since the world goes on elsewhere, The Pie presents a riveting, must-see video: a clever and forensic dissection, grimly hilarious in its own way of the underlying threat to the US and the world and no, it is not Donald Trump. But first As Townsvilles huddled and weary flood victims start the long trek back to normality, it was heartening to look back and see that urban animals were not forgotten as people fled to safety. Although, as Bentley surmises, it was no time to adopt new pets.

Irony Corner Seems Mayor Mullets vision for 2020 has come somewhat early. Oh, cruel, cruel fate.

Its Going To Be A Long Road Ahead On Many Fronts Well talk about the inquiry into the handling of the flood shortly, but its one hell of a the mountain we have to climb to recover from this A perceptive reader and regular commenter with connections out west provided this appraisal of just some pitfalls awaiting us. The implications of the monsoon disaster go far beyond the immediate damage to housing and community infrastructure in the city itself, and could havepotentially massive implications for Townsvilles economy and ongoing employment in The city.

Reliable local sources in the mineral transport sector have told me that they are anticipating the rail line between Townsville and Mt Isa will have hundreds of km of track washed away, and if this is the case they expect it would be closed for at least 6-8 months. Massive amounts of mineral product are railed to Townsville from the western mineral province for further processing and/or shipment through the Port.While it will be possible to switch some of the product to road transport this will result in tens of thousands of extra heavy vehicle movements with the resultant safety implications and wear and tear on the Flinders Highway and local roads, and will present a logistical nightmare to schedule and manage. In any case road transport can never handle the sheer volume of product currently being sent on rail. There is even a whisper it may have an impact on the viability of Glencores smelter operations in Mt Isa. After all, what is the point of operating the smelter if they cant transport the product out in viable quantities? If this is the case it would have flow on implications for their Copper Refinery in Stuart as the Mt Isa smelter is the primary source of the raw copper anode used in the refining process. It was only 3 or 4 years ago that Glencore were seriously considering closing both the Mt Isa smelter and Townsville refinery and moving to production and sale of bulk concentrated product only. Closure of the rail line for an extended period may be enough to tip the scale towards ceasing the operation of both the smelter and refinery. Challenging times are indeed ahead for our city. Jenny Hills Disgraceful Dog Whistling If ever any one instance among so many can be definitively cited to question Jenny Hills fitness for leadership, it would have to be this

This is simply disgraceful, cynical and above all, irresponsible. She said it two or three times in different instances, and it can only have been a cheap ploy to paint herself as in tune with the community sentiment. Or perhaps she really doesnt understand her role, because thats not leading, thats being led. What a person with real leadership qualities, dignity and care for her citys image would have done would be the exact opposite of this thinly veiled condoning of rough justice a call to people under stress by current circumstances and generally fed up with property crime to curb a natural tendency to violence against anyone found looting. Work with the police, but dont try to do their job, should have been the message, I understand how youre feeling now, but you have to rise above the temptation to be lawless, to any sort of summary justice whatever you do, do not act like a mob. But no, the message seen around Australia, delivered by this swaggering bogan Boedicia, ensured the growing perception of Townsville as a bogan backwater was reinforced in the most damaging fashion. And Jenny, youd better hope to hell no mob action results in serious assault or even murder or you will be held morally and even possibly legally, responsible. Simply disgraceful. So Mayor Mullets Miracle Turns To Mud There is little doubt that Jenny Hill was hoping for an miracle electoral recovery by doing a sterling job that would gain her much needed kudos during the floods, steering the city through the crisis and ending up with a dam fill of water. Well, she got the water all right, but her hopes for the kudos are unlikely. The floods have exposed several issues that started well before last week chaotic staff deployment, lack of experience in handling the information flow, an alarming failing in the out-dated and poorly maintained (through lack of proper staff) fleet of council vehicles, and long-standing dangerous planning laws. But the immediate the questions already being asked about the timings of releasing the backed-up water has managed to raise questioning eyebrows everywhere. Both the premier and the mayor both recognised as cynical if inept political operators have suddenly moved to distance themselves from that decision making, as The Pie noted in comments on Friday.

The Premier has done it in the most cowardly panicked manner, dodging straight-forward questions about the issue by seeking to blame the Townsville Council because they own the Ross Dam. Thats true BUT the water is managed by SunWater, a statutory Queensland Government-owned corporation. Wouldnt that be the putative body having a big say in advising strategy? And Mayor Hill is seeking what cover she can get by today repeatedly using the phrase the council decided instead of I, as mayor and chair of the Disaster Committee decided . This is just the start of some furious back-pedalling that can only be sorted out by an independent inquiry. The Magpie Gets Something Off His Chest There were a lot of side issues tumbling about in the muddied waters during the week. The Pie was mightily chuffed to see the ABC interview with an old copper friend from years back, Matty Lyons (constable back in The Pies court reporting days, and now crikey, well done, Matty Acting Inspector Mathhew Lyons ). Driving about the stricken city with the reporter, Officer Lyons was calm, authoritative, and mercifully free from buzz word obscurity, just plain language about how it felt to be doing this job. He summed it up by simply saying This is what we do. Perhaps it was that quiet and dignified summation that prompted The Magpie to blow a long-suppressed gasket when he responded to this comment during the week regarding the unfortunate drowning of two men fleeing police after a suspected looting incident. February 8, 2019 at 8:30 am(Edit) Has anyone given a thought to the two poor young coppers who watched them being swept away to their almost certain deaths? Or the police diver who found their bodies? The Magpie February 8, 2019 at 12:45 pm(Edit) Hey, hang on suddenly the police are the victims of the tragedy? This sort of nonsense has got to stop. Police do a difficult and dangerous job, and see things most of us never want to see, but they are trained in this, volunteered to join up for this, and have guidance and counselling available if required. While what The Pie calls officer anguish can be real and debilitating in extreme cases, it is surely vastly overstated. Police Union boss Ian Leavers is a past master at this tactic, making out that we should be concentrating on the emotions of the attending officers rather than the real victims of accidents, murders and other unpleasantness they attend. If nothing else, this invites all police officers to embrace a weird sort of victimhood of emotional injury. (Of course, this does not include actual injuries courageous police officers receive in the line of duty, but again, the dead fish-stare, Peter Dutton-lookalike Leavers trots out the totally false mantra that police do not go to work expecting to be assaulted and deserve to be able to go home uninjured to their families. False because that is EXACTLY what they are entitled to expect, especially when given their powers of arrest and hardware to accomplish this if necessary. Such irresponsible, unintelligent sophistry completely belies what a police officers main tasks are all about inter alia controlling, detaining and otherwise engaging with the criminal, the drunk and the unfortunate mental sufferers. Does he suggest that all the wrong-doers in this world have some sort of moral obligations to walk forward, arms outstretched for the cuffs, saying You got me bang to rights, constable, sorry about that? Morals and criminals are mutually exclusive terms and for zealots like Leavers to imply otherwise is just plain insulting. And dopey. Cor, that feels better. But not for long heres something that is unfathomable, a judge reaching a decision that is deeply disturbing, and could affect the already strained hip pocket of every Queenslander who owns and/or drives a vehicle.

The nub of the story is that Justice Peter Flanagan found the late Byron Williams, who was speeding and intoxicated with amphetamines and cannabis when his car hit a tree on the Sunshine Coast in 2013, had a legal duty of care not to expose the officer to psychiatric injury through his negligence, which in fact killed him at the scene. Former senior constable David Paul Caffrey developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after his experiences at the scene, including trying to keep Mr Williams alive with first aid and encouragement, and then leading his parents to farewell their son shortly before his death. No one doubts the aftermath was very real and tragic, and Mr Caffrey has indeed suffered greatly, including losing his job. But how this is the insurance companys fault can only be the result of the arcane reasoning of finer points of the law by Justice Flanagan. The judge dismissed any such argument, with the ABC reporting:Lawyers for Williams insurance company argued not his responsibility to take reasonable steps to avoid exposing officers to psychiatric harm through his death or suffering. They argued the public could reasonably expect that emergency service officers such as police were trained and equipped to avoid harm via exposure at accident scenes. Justice Flanagan ordered the insurer pay $1,092,948 in damages. The payout seems about right under legal guidelines for this sort of serious mental and emotional injury, but The Magpie takes issue with who has to pay it it is surely the Police Unions insurers isnt it the union that allows their members to be so exposed to this sort of thing? , or the relevant government departments responsibility, for the same reason. That way, those loving, caring and oh-so-fair outfits called insurance companies will have no excuse to whack a premium on all driver insurances, to guard against causing similar injury caused by you being maimed or dying in a car accident. Other Unbelievable Scenes In Townsville Messagebank Curiously Examining A Strange Oblong Object

So what, you say? Well, check the background bloke

Could it be that Deputy DooDah Les Messagebank Walker really does check his messages and respond to the concerns of the Townsville ratepayers? Haha, just jokin. Of course he could be doing any of the following: * betting on the neddies * getting a date * ordering at the bottle-o * organising campaign donations * building an international hotel in his division * seeking positions vacant for a job when his political career is over (in March next year) * checking a bus timetable, or the latest date for the opening of the CBD bus hub. More likely just playing Candy Crush. Odds Are Jenna Cairney Will Soon Be Heading South The Magpie makes this prediction after checking the latest eye-popping readership figures for regional newspapers.

See if you can spot why head office in Holt Street might see a bigger future for Ms Cairney. Yup, a whopping 34.4% lift year on year, and almost as satisfying as at least tying with the Cairns Post, just one thousand off the Canberra Times!!! Which either says a lot of good things about The Bulletin or a lot of bad things about the Canberra Times your choice. If The Pie has been happy to accept the previous uniformly ghastly Astonisher readership figures supplied by the Roy Morgan survey outfit, then he can hardly refute this spectacular jump in the Astonishers fortunes, hard to believe though it is. So well done, Jenna and crew and whoever thought up all those pester power promotions for kids free books series over a week with each paper. And a reminder, readership is done by survey, while circulation is the actual number of newspapers printed and distributed in one form or another. A couple of years ago, all News Corpse papers suddenly withdrew from the traditional agreement to supply circulation figures to the audit bureau, so the public and advertisers can only take their word for whatever they say about numbers. But heres an interesting little bit of maths the Bulletin has always made the amusing claim to support phantasmagorical claims by News own readership measurement mob EMMA that every single paper is read by EIGHT separate people yes, eight. So the last known week circulation was about 17,000 and falling, so youd guess it was around 15 to 14000 now , BUT if no one at News was telling fibs, a simple calculation ( 8 divided into 44) we get a print run of about 5500 on weekdays. Hmmm Somebodys been telling fibs, but the news can only be good for Ms Cairney anyone who can turn a paper around like that, though it still be a pale shadow of its glory days, is obviously bound for bigger things. But wont it be a funny thing if it turns out the increase had been because of the promotion of its wonderful unintentional comical side here in The Magpies Nest (humblebrag, humblebrag). The Varnished Truth The Magpie had a dream .he had an exclusive interview with Jenna Cairney, in which the editor of the Daily Astonisher talked openly about a crisis she bravely battled alone, and that few knew about in the past couple of anguished weeks..

Well, it really was a close run thing, a weary but still radiant Ms Cairney said, gently brushing aside a stray wisp of her golden hair, and sipping a glass of Stoneleigh chardonnay (on special at Liquorland 20% off with coupon clipped from the paper on Page 1). We have been so flat out that we didnt notice until almost too late that our stocks of adjectives and suitable verbs was about to run out. Nouns were sort of OK, they tend to speak for themselves, but, in fact, we were down to just a half dozen shockings , four incredibles and just one single devastating; wed run out of heart-breaks last week, used the very last horror yesterday, and things werent helped when some junior accidentally mixed the massives in with the mammoths. She shook her head with a knowing, wistful smile, and murmured Ah these young cubs, just wee laddies and lassies, most of them, but theyll learn, theyll learn . .. Of course, she continued, this mix-up caused big headaches when we have to start using nouns like blunder and misjudgement it is starting to look like were going to need a well, massive supply of them in coming months, she smiled. But then the worried look returned to her normally untroubled brow We had used our very last wreaking havoc two days ago. But now the train from Brisbane finally got through with fresh stores, particularly a couple of hundred courageouss, a whole carton of indominatable fighting spirits and they generously chucked in a few useful phrases like NQ breeds them tough and pioneer tradition John Andersen was particularly relieved about that last one. For a while there it looked like we were going to have to try and use a few iconics and at least a half a dozen alleged both of which we have plenty but now its seems we can avoid drastic change in style of simply letting such events speak for for themselves, and we can give these recovery stories the adjectival recognition they deserve. Readers will now no longer be denied the fully varnished truth of what has happened. After all, it is alleged we are an iconic newspaper. Quite so, mdear, quite so and The Magpie thanks you for Exclusively Revealing all this. The Pie is now a fan, and is All For You. Now For Some Unvarnished Truth From Washington No no, this isnt the Trump-bashing section thats next but this is one of the best structured and cleverly presented dissections of what ails the American body politic that you will ever hear. And the scary thing every single word is true and said in a very formal hearing session. Some deluded people have suggested Ms Ocasio-Cortes, who has definite green leanings, is the Sarah Hansen-Young of American politicians. Ha, they wish. Now Its Trumpistan Gallery Time The Trumpets long awaited State of the Union address played to a packed house during the week, with all the elected women wearing white as a silent opinion of pussy grabbing. At least they were open about it some of Trumps greatest supporters hid their allegiance, or it wouldve looked like this.

About Bloody Time No, Literally, Its ABOUT Bloody Time Well, itll add some variety to Sorry Ive got a headache. Women are going to find the latest emoji handy, for both information and as an excuse, even if it aint so.

Its called the period emoji, and sure will take the guesswork out of budding relationships. It follows a joint campaign by Plan International UK and the blood service for England. Unicode has announced that a blood drop symbol will be among the new emoji released later this year to signify menstruation. The intention of the campaign is to remove the stigma and shame around menstruation. The Pie must admit he didnt realise there was stigma and shame about such an established fact of human life, except that imposed by the men of medieval religions which is all of them who think nothing of bloody mutilations, beheadings and all manner of messy bloodthirsty bastadry. How anyone ever decided to brand menstruation as unclean got it exactly back to front the monthly discharge is in fact a natural cleansing of fertile females, inconvenient though it may be some women who dont plan to have children. This news will perhaps be a boon to avoiding misunderstanding in a relationship, and banish conversations that are at cross purposes, as typified by the 50s schoolboy joke about the bloke whose girlfriend asked what they were going to do that night. He replied they could maybe go to a movie, or they could ahem, wink wink go for a walk in the park, what did she want to do? The girl looked shy, blushed, and replied Its immaterial for me. The bloke said, Ah, well, wed better go to the pictures then. .. Thats it for this week, and comments are up and running from this moment. The Pie has gathered a great deal of interesting information in the past few days, which he has filed away for future blogs, but if just want to vent a bit, feel free, the comments section is for you. And if you feel this load of old cobblers is worth it, you can make a donation using the button below. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/the-vigilante-of-the-ville-our-mayors-goes-full-bogan-on-potential-looters/

[doodlewash]

As I write this, I marvel at all of the things that simply fell into place, beginning with losing my job as an urban developer almost three years ago in Brazil, just three months after my husband also lost his. Yes, unfortunately, my birth country has been facing a political and economic crisis and still has around 12 million unemployed.

My name is Mila Renault, and I am a joyful Brazilian ex-pat now living in New Zealand. We moved to a sprawled green city of not even 200,000 people in the middle of the Pacific ocean after living for 38 years in a metropolis of 21.5 million inhabitants in an almost continental country.

Circumstances were pushing us! Adventures and risk takers, me and my husband, were also concerned with the quality of life we were giving to our children in Sao Paulo. We decided to achieve our old dream of living abroad.

After a solo first trip, he got a job! While waiting for the Visa we only had a month for clearing down and renting our apartment, preparing all documents and saying goodbye to our dog, closest friends and parents. During, the process of giving away, packing or either choosing what to bring, I also had to decide what to do with my art supplies and folders of old drawings and paintings that had been hidden in my wardrobes. Along with that, in my deepest memories, I also found my childhood dream of being an artist.

I grew up in a family of amateur artists. I learned to love watercolour as I saw my grand auntie and grand uncle painting, there were the framed pieces on the wall and my first watercolours sets, books, and heritage. One of my great grandfathers who was a surveyor trained in France and even participated in those recognition expeditions throughout the Amazonian rain forest that had painters do the accurate visual records as at that time they didn’t have photographs. I, fortunately, got this piece as a heritage.

From 8 to 12 years old, I had art studio classes with an artist and teacher and, though I used to work with mixed media, my passion was already watercolour. I won the first art prize in a Children’s Contest with a painting about global warming.  After that, at 13, I was looking for the stronger backbones for my skills and by good chance, my parents offered me to attend two years on Classical Drawing in a Lyceum of Arts and Crafts and finally, one year on watercolour.

After entering University, I kept painting and even teaching watercolour. I thought I would always keep practicing. However, slowly, I had to give up to become an architect and urban designer, a wife and mother.

We arrived in New Zealand in April 2017 with a few suitcases, empty minds, and the desire to live a different lifestyle with more work/life balance. But, in the very beginning, I was still missing my old routine. Everything seemed so different, landscape, habits and even a brief talk was different. And, of course, English and Latin cultural influence set two completely different moods.

Eventually, I had already settled the house, the kids were at school and I said goodbye to my mother who came to help us. I had the choice to either continue mourning my old life at home or get out to explore the new. It was early May, my first autumn in an orange and yellow landscape! Changing the environment and having free time while the kids were at school was the perfect pretext for me to start over.

Nonetheless, the mindset was the main point. I had already given up everything and fortunately, I also got rid of the fear of failure! With a little box of coloured pencils and watercolour, a backpack, and my bike, I started to sketch and paint around town. That, was not an easy process.

Although I had those classical drawing backbones such as perspective, tones, colour and composition packed in some untouched drawer of my brain, my hands were rusty and my eyes untrained. With fierce determination and passion, I put myself in a routine of painting almost every day for two years now. In January 2018, I was at my first art fair and in April my first paintings were accepted in the Art Posts Gallery in Hamilton.

Supplies

I consider it essential to invest in professional grade watercolours. I have made the transition from Winsor & Newton Cotman student grade paints to M. Graham professional watercolours the end of 2017. My initial pallet was Prussian Blue, Ultramarine Blue, Indian Yellow, Quinacridone rose, Transparent Iron Oxide, Sepia and I have added something new that was having a dark neutral (Paynes Grey) and my first green, that now is essential which is the Azo Green. Lately, I have added Cobalt Teal that I use a lot for my seascapes.

I am going to do a workshop with Mr. Alvaro Castagnet in March so I have been making some experiments with his set of colours from Daniel Smith.

I can’t live without my round Silver Brush black velvet set and a stripper I also use some goat hake Japanese for my clear water washes and lately I have added Cat tongue that is a bit stiffer (so I use it for lifting details) and a large Casaneo flat brush both (for architectural washes) from Da Vinci.

My favourite paper is Artistico Fabriano cotton paper, 300gsm and cold press. For sketches and training purposes, I use either Canson Montval (cotton) Watercolour paper or Winsor & Newton sketchbook (cotton). Recently, I have bought a cheaper option of cotton paper that comes from China called Baohong paper that I’ve noticed to be very good, especially for plein air paintings because the wetness stays longer on the paper.

I often carry my supplies everywhere as you never know when you will capture a good story to feel and paint.

My Process

I force myself to draw daily, using exercises to exercise the right side of the brain. For instance, blind sketching or 30 or 60’’ observation drawings of passing people or even drawing what is showing on the TV very quickly and randomly. For drawing, I use common ballpen, 8B Jumbo pencil, or ink pen (UniPen) with coloured pencils using spare paper or either a Kraft sketchbook from Hahnemühle especially when I use the coloured pencils. I love to draw in my sketchbook or on loose cartridge paper too!

My watercolours have been improving during 2017 and 2018 throughout practice, challenges and workshops. First and foremost, I would say the 30×30 Direct Watercolor Challenge 2018 promoted by Marc Taro Holmes was an amazing and life changing experience and my confidence has rocketed.

Secondly, I have done an online workshop with Angela Fehr who is an amazing teacher and artistic coach. With her Watercolour Mastery Online Course, I gained the confidence to rework previous watercolours that I was afraid to try in new approaches and in different sizes.

Achievements

I am very glad that my painting Mana (2018, shown at the beginning of this post) has been selected to be in Fabriano In Watercolour in April 2019 with other outstanding artists from the Brazilian delegation. The painting is named after the Maori word Mana that, for me, means the power of my reconnection to my ancestral pathway with art and my own connection to nature.

Goals for 2019

I am working on some studies from my last trip to Sao Paulo and also some small and larger ones (56×38) inspired in my new home in New Zealand. This year, I want to improve my composition and atmosphere in larger paintings especially urban scenes that are more difficult and rich in details.

Nevertheless, certainly, I still have many brush miles to paint to establish my own style and I know I have to walk slowly and steadily to progress further. Fortunately, I have a stunning backyard to paint and still the memories of my joyful birthplace fresh in my memories.

I got lost and found myself again!

I invite you to travel to my discoveries.

Mila Renault Instagram Facebook Vida Collection

GUEST ARTIST: "Lost & Found" by Mila Renault - #doodlewash #WorldWatercolorGroup #watercolor #watercolour As I write this, I marvel at all of the things that simply fell into place, beginning with losing my job as an urban developer almost three years ago in Brazil, just three months after my husband also lost his.

[greenlandhollerpets]

Part 1 of 3. “Things Change in A Moment!” Greatest News of my life in the morning/ and a bomb on my soul at 3:33 p.m. (August 2, 2018) Last Thursday, one week ago today, with great dreams being realized, I was given devastating news. Okay first of all on Wednesday, August 1, 2018, MIchael and I met with the head of marketing for Dos Lagos to review and finalize details to pursue our idea of having one day a month, preferably the first Sunday, be a PET SOCIAL at their beautiful location. And, get all the paperwork finished, i.e. contracts. Insurance secured, and details of the planned itinerary for each show from time to activities. Swirling in my head has been to create a day not about us, but about bringing together our community of dog, and pet lovers, to share their animals, enjoy some quality speakers from vets, to trainers, to people with books or TV shows sharing new ideas on pet care, and even have some neighborhood kids singing to entertain all. And have raffles, a bake shop, and other fun little entities. The entire event is about bringing our community together, and also let people know about our dogs in need of new homes, plus the animals waiting to be saved in our shelters. So, upon leaving there, I was in the clouds. Now, however, on Tuesday, when we had our first appointment, I was unable to walk that morning, and had to postpone the meeting a day, however it was all working out. The marketing professional has bigger ideas than me! That says a lot about this creative man. He plans in a few months, because he’s sure we will be packed to close off streets. YES YES YES. This man gets it! Completely, and greater than we do ! Im designing dog Costumes for our young people volunteers. We can be just like Disney. I began working on the itinerary the moment we got back to the Sanctuary. Then the next morning, Michael and I had to get up really early as I had a long awaited appointment with the top spinal neurologist surgeon at USC. I had seen him before; he did not think he could redo my four botched back and sacrum surgeries; suggested I get a spinal NEURO transmitter, kind of like a pacemaker for the spine. I cant walk, my left leg is nearly all dead, and each day the pain is excruciating. His EMG test showed my L4, L 5, and S 1 in my spine were severed. But I felt in my heart the NEURO deal was just a bandaid. I don’t need a bandaid. I need a solution. Everyday I cant walk, and the pain is excruciating. Well, this man had been working trying to figure out what was the real problem. And he found out the issue, My sacrum is not straight. He sent all my records, and tests, to John Hopkins and other outside resources too. Well, 12 years ago, I broke my sacrum ice skating in northern Minnesota on Christmas Eve day, Dressed up in a winter wonderland dress, new skates, and rolling along with my cousins on an area all the boys had cleared for us girls. Hot toddies were at our pit stops, Im with my cousins that have been in my life since born, its Christmas and just like all our Christmas Holidays as children, we were together, and skating . . . . . Oh let the Minnesota wind blow! Plus I looked so cute. Well, the rink was a little bumpy. Hey the guys are older now too, but who cared; not me! But thirty minutes out I went down on my ribs, yes I broke a couple of those too, but I did not care. I got up and flew off to skate more. Im nearly flying. Happy? I was in heaven! However THEN I fell on my back. Oh brother! I could not get up! OOPS. And dear Michael comes over to me, my pretty dress ripped at the bottom, I can’t get up at all, and he says, “I thought you were a really great skater?.” Yeah, yeah, well guess Ive lost some of my flight with age. Us kids skated hour after hour as children. But those years had long passed, and I knew I was in trouble. The boys, now men, had to carry me back to the house. Good grief! And pain, I think I drank an entire bottle of Minnesota Brandy! It was interesting though, I was still having the time of my life. I was with my dear dear cousins, we played Bingo for Christmas Eve, nearly killing each other over getting the extraordinary gifts, of ducks carved by one of the guys, blankets hand made, and just precious gifts. You toss dice, and when the gifts are all opened, you toss the dice among you, and when you get doubles, you can take a gift from another person. That’s when the fun begins. As kids we were dangerous over the gifts mostly hand made. No wonder I have such a diligent drive to WIN! And never give up. So all my childhood memories I was reliving. Little did I know I had SHATTERED my SACRUM. Shattered! I had destroyed my sacrum. But with cocktails, laughter and a MInnesota old-fashioned blizzard, just like when I was a child, I was on a cloud. Michael and I had driven to Minnesota to fix up my aunt’s home. She was found murdered, oh thats another story, she was MURDERED. I was her executor and niece. She and my mom were very close, and Nancy spent all her summers with her children, same age as me, at our supper club. Now she was dead, and it was and still is a horror. Another day I will tell all, but not right now. But we are in a truck, 400 miles north of the cities, and thousands of miles north of our home in California. The day after Christmas, we still had celebrating to do, the usual meal, And just sharing all our tales. But the following day MIchael and I headed down to Minneapolis, in a a severe snowstorm which for me made the trip bearable, and memorable, and fun! Im easy to please! We decided we would go to the hospital in the cities, as if I had to go into a hospital MIchael could be working on the my aunts house that had been stripped and nearly destroyed by a stranger she had befriended. A lonely woman in need of love! Well Edina hospital informed me my tail bone was broken, and just needed to heal. And gave me I think 250 20 mg. Of Percocet. Yikes. And my many other relatives made sure we had liquor. I love being in Minnesota! We had a balloon bed on the floor. I hurt so bad, and could not lift my legs at all; couldn’t really walk, but I supervised! We were thinking of moving back there at this point. My aunts home was beautiful, it had just been harmed, but it was coming together so elegant, and I thought I would finally get to go back home. A dream in my heart for years. But it did not happen. I was too sick, and we did what was critical, well Michael did, and headed home to California. We set up pillows and tried to make me comfortable, it was a horrible ride though. We met Michaels mom, dad, sister and family in Arizona. They were celebrating a family anniversary. I tried to attend the dinner, but we had to get up and leave. We got on the highway. I needed to be in a hospital, and we needed to get home. At the dinner table, I asked everyone for their drinks . . . .told them not to worry they should order a couple more. The pain had become excruciating. And then we were home, we did not even go home, Michael drove us to our Corona hospital, where they told me to study yoga, and within minutes Michael took me to UCI. Immediately I was given Morphine. I had never had morphine, that I knew about, and I made them flush it out, I hated the feeling, but other drugs were acceptable. Then I was told my sacrum was shattered. However by now, it had started to heal. I was placed in the hospital for a few days, but made a decision to just let it heal. I COULD NOT GO THRU the PAIN again! For eight months I could not walk. But I exercised faithfully and hard core daily, and finally I was at least able to walk. I thought I was going to be okay. I didn’t realize my sacrum made the structure of my body unstable and unbalanced. Well, that fall and the damage is my entire problem today. UCI with my four surgeries never fixed the sacrum. My back sticks out which is not acceptable. My doctor at USC says you can’t walk for long with the position of my spine. You lose all stability. I only have a few months to get things fixed, or I can become paralyzed. This doctor was haunted by what he had seen in my tests. He told me on this morning, August 2, 2018, that he could fix me or at least give it all he has, as I DONT HAVE A CHOICE. I was beyond happy, I now had hope and a real solution. I can be fixed. Then I had a CT Angiogram with contrast. Remember I had a heart attack and have congestive heart. failure, with a definite constricted heart. The new back surgery is dangerous, so all has to be cleared. I have the test done, and found out my veins are just not working at this time.. They had to use my hand for the IV for the contrast. What else can go wrong. But moving right along, test all done, Michael and I are almost home after another long journey now from LA USC to home in Corona; it’s about 3:30. My cardiologist phones: “You need to turn your car around and come back here. We need to put you in the hospital immediately. You have clot in you lung. You have a critical pulmonary embolism!” “WHAT?” No. Michael turned the car around, but the traffic was absolute grid-lock. He said we needed to go to Corona.....NO NO NO! Anyway, no choice I could die taking the ride. So We went to Corona. First thing I am told is this hospital no longer has a cardiac department, oh goodness. But they did have lung doctors. Get me to USC. “You can’t travel!” I am told. Visit us at www.greenlandhollerpets.org

[ilovewhatweare]

July

“Today i am counting my blessing- not my problems”:

7/1: Sangria & Big wave @ Rayyans. Danced with the family. Enjoyed hanging out with Ruben, Elizabeth, and connected with maria. for a moment of darkness as a opportunity to see all good light.

7/2: I did a 2 mile run today. with Jorge, abby joined us. and Sally even got a long walk at MLA.

7/3: Hung out with Dad and fam. We ate outside and later we watched Mulan.

7/4: Woke up early and Ran 2 miles at Nixon. Went to John;s apartment. I had his fam. starwberry moscow mules. Ended up taking the kids to Outdoor Cafe. 

7/5: Manny’s blow off valve came in. I helped him install it. He had to stay home but it was a good day, we got tapatio. tacos and horchata are always delicious. Saw Indian and the Cupboard with abby and Naty, while manny went to play YugiOh.

7/6: Went shopping with Abby and Naty. Got Layla and my mom , and my tia a gift for their birthdays. 

7/7: Bday Party at Grandma’s. Made the ladies a Mimosa bar. Celebrated with the family. had vegan cake made by Cari. It was honestly so delicious. rasberry, red velvey, and peaches. 3 tier cake!  After the party we all went to see Ant man and the Wasp at the Webster Theatre. It was so much fun. 

7/8: Grilled outside. Kathy came over and we saw Pacific Rim Uprising.

7/10: Moms Bday. We got mom a magnolia cake and Marvin came over and we sang her a very happy bday :)

7/13: Hungout with mom , went to grandmas, saw tio chucho., took brandon and jacob to go run at nixon. helped them change their profile pics on xbox.

7/14: woke up early , manny and i had coffee outside, and worked on gathering wedding stuff. picked up shawqi, saw incredibles 2. then we picked up Kathy. and we went to get tacos at los comales on Milkwaukee. today was special to me because manny wore his ring. ever since i shipped it to get polished he hadnt wore it. 

7/15: with the kids, shawqi n me went to aldi to pick up some brkfsst stuff, and then we watched American Assasian with Dylon O Brian.  We cooked sausage outside and it was fun.

7/16: Bubble Tea date with the fam. Yvette, angel, kathy. we played “thats it’ and had some good laughs. Manny and I had some ice coffee outside in the bakyrd once he came home from work. it was nice relaxing with him on a wknight.

7/18: our new grill arrived! hung out with abigail and watched Brain on fire.

7/19: went for my eye exam today. Got new contacts; new prescription at -5.5 , and the eye doc was so patient with me.

7/20: out early from work, hung out with my mom and dad. i had a good night with them, we drank a beer and drove over to los comales on dempster. then we had another one. 

7/21: woke up and had coffee with mom. got zip ties and fixed the civic, went to get Coffee and Tea! they were able to grind it up fine enough for my Moka pot. Had brazilian bowl for lunch at the lake. got wet. had some laughs about that . i genuinely had such a good time. those good vibes splashed into Sunday.

7/22: Tried out the new “praline” coffee and it tasted sooo delicious. got ready and went to Noe’s house.  i meet Noe (+Carmen), Paul/Pav (+Katrina), Peter, and TJ. new vibes, new circle, great food, and of course Sangria. lots. i sang and danced all the way home because- why not? Manny and i watched a snipet of tv before i had to knock out for the day.

7/23: I have alot to be thankful about today. Manny picked me up from the train today, we went and picked up my contacts, we stopped by Marianos and bought some jalepeno cheddar & blue cheese burgers, and some Cedar Salads. Also delicious. we grilled em in the backyard, then manny played a lil bit of Cajon, the beat he was trying to learn is a lil difficult. We then watched a bit of netflix. I brewed up some Praline coffee. and we drank it outside. manny monologed about yugioh. it was fun seeing his excitement. after we relaxed and played along with jackbox . that was funny. 

7/24: so a simple moment, but i woke up kind of angry today, due to the stomping above me at 5a, i got up needing to go, and manny quickly got off the couch and hugged me, hushed and calmed me down. it was wierd but i felt better so much faster, i havent woken up angry in a while but he knew what to do..went back to bed and Manny drove me to the train stop/ still a good day to have a good day :) (3:40pm) so Jaysen and manny showed up to pick me up and it was a great! so we went home and manny & jaysen played YugiOh, i made them iced coffee, i praticed the uke a lil, then we met up with Jorge at MLA and i ran 2.1 miles. my time wasnt amazing BUT i never stopped running/jogging, so thats good right! then jaysen came back home with us, we grilled some dogs and burgers outside, we drank some sangria, and honestly i thnk everyone got buzzed and it was fun kicking back with them. i drove Jaysen home and manny & i didnt stay up too much longer than that, watched some tv and i went to bed. 

7/25 . Today was a good day, Manny took me to the train station, work went b smoothly. i left work slightly early, and manny picked me up from the train station and we went to Costco, and got . case of sangria. lol. along with some other items (chicken, gauc, hevy whip cream, etc)/ we went home and ate a little snack and basically hung out with each other for the remainder of the day. i enjoyed that. we played some cajon, sat outside, went for a walk at nixon with sally. watched tv. i know it may seem boring, at times, but i feel happy when i know he is relaxing. 

7/26.  happy anni (7.4 now) / i am thankful that coconut coffee exits, it tastes so delicious! / chicken salad walnuts cranberries, yum! / Nico and the Niners Video released and it is beautiful. /  after work we went to welles park and watched Shawqi at football practice. we then picked up kathy, and the kids slept over. later at night we went to nixon. i did another 2 mile run. while the kids played at the new park, including Abby, naty, and her friend Anahi. It was fun and we cooked outside that night, i made a garbanzo salad and it was delicious. it felt like a really good night.

7/27 - i got my make up done today by Jacob. He was so professional and so sweet. Kathy and I made a trip to the vitamin shoppe and i was fortunate to find the Collagen peptides i was searching for. We both found these two beautiful dresses at Francescas. Later that night we dropped off the kids and i put in another 2 mile run with Jorge at MLA. my time got better!  so that is a good sign. i need to work my way up to 3 miles.

7/28 woke up so early. Our first stop was the Country Inn, which we got a mini tour from Lori Davis. She was a sweetheart. After comparing it to the Ramada, we agreed that Country Inn was better for us. . . We drove to Dubuque, Had a really good tasting at HyVee. We then even had a drink at their cafe bar afterwards. drove to the family liquor store! and they had Stella and DElaCosta Sangria! - then we went and saw valley perrienals and that was a nice lil pit spot. then wandered and saw what chestnut mountain . went to our hotel at eagle ridge. that was actually really nice too. After manny took a nap we went to DeSoto House and had an amazing dinner (Crab bisque, Blue Cheese Soup, and Prime Rib! with vegetables and mash potatoes) drank some more there and along with the laughs about the Moon and Manny driving ‘too fast’ it was overall such a fun funny night  

7/29 woke up so tired, mom and dad made it to Oak Hill! i think they enjoyed it as much as i did. dad would not stop taking pictures. and that was so funny. i know his parents loved it too. it felt like a sense of relief and happiness for them to finally see it. we then drove and ate at Rafters. They had a pretty good brunch buffet. once we got bak we went to the Rayyans chilled a bit there. then John said he needed to get suits so we went to MW and he bought two suits (BOGOF) so that was a good deal. We also stopped at carsons and kohls. We then ate at portillos. that was delicious. drove home. mom picked up KrispyKreme donuts for the rayyans. so we dropped those off. manny n i relaxed. watched AttackOnTitans and we were both so tired and went to bed early. felt good to be back in our own bed. x

7/30 another day for an amazin day. manny dropped me off at the train this morning. :) and he picked me up. we went and bough Memoria from Dona Mari’s and i cooked it when i got home. it came out tasty. Manny n i relaxed on the couch and that was nice. Then i went to MLA, picked up Kathy, met Jorge there. we did a 2.1 mile run. We had better times! then we goofed around, trying to do cartwheels and some hop thing we were not too successful at. lol. But boy did we laugh a lot! - see newer posts for the vids. came home to have a protein shake and manny n i hit the hay early. overall it was a really good day.

7/31 Today is Erics and Jorges Birthday! Love them so much and honestly i cant imagine how my childhood would have been without them. Today i feel great! i put the collagen peptides in my coffee and manny drove me to the train station :)

[wildestreputations]

Dear Taylor Swift

Hi Taylor!

My name’s Anna. I’d just like to tell you a bit about myself, since I know so much about you already. I’m 20 years old and I was born and raised in London. I have 9 siblings. I’m married and have two perfect little fur baby dogs. My hobbies include photography, art, and making youtube videos with my wife (here’s the link if you wanna check it out http://youtube.com/annaandangelica).

I’ve been a fan of yours for a good couple of years now. I’ve always loved your music, but only really started following you properly in 2015 when I got together with my wife, who by the way couldn’t be a bigger fan of yours if she tried! She introduced me to the swiftie fan life, as she did with everyone she ever met tbh. My wife is named Angel, which I think is completely fitting because she is honestly such an angel herself. Her tumblr is @overthinking-love (I know she’d love it if you did some of your taylurking on her). She’s been a fan of yours since 2009. She was 13 years old when she developed such a huge admiration towards you and your music. 

Angel and I met online, through The Fosters fandom on twitter in October 2014. She lived in Sweden, and as I previously said, I lived in England. We became friends really quickly. We had a special bond from the very start. In the beginning of January 2015 she asked me to FaceTime. At first I was a little nervous and intimidated because she was so beautiful and outgoing and I was such a small awkward bean so I kept putting it off lmao, but I eventually built up the courage to FaceTime her! I’m so glad I did because the first time we FaceTimed we were on for HOURS! We had so much to talk about. 

Our friendship began to develop in so many different ways as we FaceTimed more and more, which also became longer every single time. It even got to the point where we’d end up sleeping on FaceTime/skype and leaving the video call on days at a time as well as getting on with our daily lives. One day, Angel suggested that she would fly out to visit me and we both asked permission from our parents, who thankfully agreed to the idea! Angel bought her tickets for Friday the 13th of February 2015, so we finally had a countdown to look forward to! 

We both knew that this was more than just a friendship, and at first we wanted to wait until we met in person to make anything official but the fact that we were acting like a couple from so early on we just thought it was silly that we were waiting. So on the 27th of January, we officially started dating. Aksbdksndkd the feels I get just thinking back at fetus us!!!

Anyway, this post is gonna turn into a 276327 page book if I start rambling on about our whole love story so I’m gonna cut it down as simply and short as I possibly can. 

We met on the 13th of Feb and it was honestly the BEST FUCKING DAY OF MY LIFE!!!! I can just remember the first ever time I saw my princess walking through the arrivals at the airport and I honestly ran so quickly into her arms (and I usually never run for anyone haha) BUT IT WAS THE BEST FEELING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Her scent, her touch, her warmth...experiencing it all for the first time in person was just...wow....something I’ll treasure forever. That feeling is just so undescribable....but so, so special. 

She spent a week with me and my family, and we had the most magical, wonderful experience. Saying goodbye to her and letting go of her at the airport was the hardest thing I ever had to do...we both found it so incredibly hard...so we made it our goal to meet as often as we could. And fortunately I was able to book tickets not long after to visit her the following month. 

That April we decided we wanted to break the distance for good, since Angel was doing online school we thought it was convenient for her to move in with me and my family, and that way we didn’t have to worry about the heartbreaking goodbyes. So I asked my mum, and she said yes!!!!! She loved Angel, so she had absolutely no problem with it, neither did Angels parents. We flew back and forth a couple of times, moving Angels stuff over to England in our suitcases! She officially moved in July 13th that year. It was such a huge new chapter of our lives.

So, we were finally living together!!! We both got jobs and focused on getting through college whilst also enjoying being in our beautiful relationship. A year went by and my mum kept bringing up the idea of us getting our own place since she knew that’s what we wanted. So we ended up moving into our own apartment in Sweden on the 30th of August 2016! This was the bravest, most life changing thing I’d ever done. I was suddenly adapting to this whole new world, a new culture, and new people. But I was more than happy to do so. I was experiencing life in a whole new magical way with my best friend, the love of my life. It was so exciting. 

We settled as best we could, it obviously took time for me to adjust to the language barrier, but other than that everything else went so smoothly. I started attending Swedish school and Angel got a job. We visited my family back in England during that Christmas and everything was going so perfectly and we were both just so content and in love.....so, I decided that I wanted to marry this girl.

On our 2 year anniversary I got down on one knee and proposed to my princess, Angel. She said yes!!!!!!! We were officially engaged!!!! It was the happiest, most heartwarming day of my life! Akdhskdbskdbsj I still can’t believe it actually happened tbh!!!!

In the end of May we decided to get a puppy together, as we already had Angels dog, Junior, we knew we were capable of having an additional member to our little family. So we ended up getting a little Yorkshire terrier and named her Bella. She is the cutest ashjkhskl! Junior was so happy to have a little sister to play with and look after. He’s honestly become so protective over her, it’s so adorable!

I’m rambling aofbskjs omg, anyway! Life has been absolutely amazing tbh. We actually got married on the 25th of September this year!!!! We had a very intimate, small wedding. We got married in the town hall and then celebrated at our house with most of our close relatives. It was incredibly special and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I’m so happy Taylor. Honestly. I can’t express to you how happy I am, I just can’t put it into words. I’m so in love. 

I just wanted to share all of this with you because you share so much with us. You allow us, your fans, to personally get to know you, so I thought I’d let you get to know me too. I’m so glad that my WIFE (aodhskdj cant believe that I get to call her that omfhddk) introduced me to you on a different level. You’ve had such a huge impact on both of us and our happiness. You mean so much to us. I’m so grateful for you and everything you do. You’re such a talented, kindhearted, genuine person. I just want you to know that I love you. Thank you for being you.

Love,

Anna Sophia xoxoxoxo

@taylorswift @taylornation

[gogohedgehoglegs]

Walkway Marathon

Walkway Marathon June 11, 2017

Back for round 3!  So remember how last month, it was raining, and cool enough I actually needed arm sleeves?  Not tooodddddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! Its one million degrees, or at least something like that.  Thankfully I knew it was gonna be a hot one, so started drinking nuun saturday morning when I woke up, and kept that up the whole 24 hours until the race.  Drove over to Poughkeepsie on saturday, and Saturday was filled with fun stuff, lole shopping for wedding shower presents and general wandering, and picked up the bib.  I was surprised since bib pickup is required, but there wasn't an expo this year like there had been previously, so it was actually rather in and out.  If its essentially required to have bib pickup the day before(there is early morning packet pickup, but not convenient since there are shuttles involved to get to the parking, which is off campus, so what do you do with your shirt?), id like to see a little incentive to be there, and not sure why, since there had been the 2 previous years.

Dinner the night before was one of my 2 go-to's- sushi(vegetarian) this time!  Between the salt from the soy sauce and all the rice, its got the easy to digest things plus lots of salt.  Morning came quickly, since the race has a 7am start time, meaning need to be up with the chickens to eat.  Knowing it was going to be hot, the ritual was not unlike the ritual for last months- lots of aquaphor, body glide, and ride glide in all the known chafe areas.

Got over to the parking area near Marist with plenty of time, procrastinated in the car for a bit, then hopped the bus to head down there.  Previously there had been on campus parking, but the route was change this year because 1) people weren't fans of the supercrazy uphill right at the start 2) most runners apparently wanted the Walkway early in the race and 3) the Ulster rail trail side is closed this year because they are constructing a visitor center on that side, so you cant have a race going as far as it normally does.  Pre-race I just hung out of the portalet lines, watched the flyover by some classic bi-planes, and then it was time to line up and head out.

I have to say, I think this was the first time I have truly given up on any goals other than “finish,” since I have started running races.  With a start temp of 70, and rising from there, there just wasn't any point in putting myself at risk.  And just a sidenote at this point- one of my favorite things about this race is that in addition to water and Gatorade on course, they also have Nuun, for us of the weeny-stomach variety.

So the new course now winds gently through campus(uphill, but over a longer duration), before heading out for the tunnel under Rt 9, out of campus, and onto Fulton Ave to cut over to the Rail Trail, this time hopping on and heading toward the Walkway, with a much larger crowd than I'm used to since the Half and Full start together.  Along the rail trail, over the Walkway(its always pretty, and the breeze feels good), to the turn around right at the gate on the Highland side, and then back across the Walkway to head down the Dutchess Rail Trail for the remaining portion of the race.  Its warm, but apparently drinking nothing but Nuun for 24 hours helped, because I hold sub 8:30 splits through 12 miles, and probably the tree coverage is helping, as its keeping the direct, strong, sun off of us, although there's not as much breeze as I would have liked.

(photo credit Bob Kopak)

Once getting onto the Rail Trail I run with an half marathoner for a brief period of time, we trade a few war stories about warm races, she is one of many that I talked to that said after the warmth the last 2 years, she opted for only the half instead of the full, which is apparently a theme, since I was one of 187 full marathoners that finished(not sure how many started, but I was bib 198, so I'm going to guess somewhere between 200 and 250 actually started the race), as opposed to the 256 in 2016, and the 283 that finished in 2015.

(PS if you forget little baggies, your dogs poo bags work just as well so you can open the waffles ahead of time)

One of the most wonderful moments of the race(and it happened twice!!), was the angel who was out just north of where the trail crosses 55, where there's always a motorcycle training class during the race, is a woman! And not just any woman! But a woman who's got a whole cooler filled with ice! In little ziplock baggies!  I thank her profusely, take the baggy, stuff it in the front of my bra, and then proceed to pull the ice cubes(theyre the fun tube round ones) and suck on them one at a time until they're all gone/melted, and then drop the bag at one of the next water stops. Sometime around the Rt 55 crossing, I end up with another runner whos on the same pace with me, and then we adopt another woman who was going to pace her boyfriend, but he had actually decided to drop out at the point he was meeting her.  While there are signs noting there's a race going on, they actually don't have the rail trail closed, so shes runs along with us for a bit, and, since shes not racing, refuses offers for water at all the stops we pass and makes it clear shes not part of the race.  Just after the turn around at Mile 15, the 2 of them pull away from me, because I'm getting kinda tired. Heading back along the Rail Trail toward Marist, I have to admit, I'm kindof glad my parents didn't come out to cheer me at the point that's closest to their house, because I feel like it would have been way too easy to just hop off the course and go home.

Around Mile 17 I start walking through waterstops, taking both a cup of water and a cup of Nuun- fueling is continuing to go well, but I'm not taking any chances, because its HOT.  Crossing over Rt 55, the rail trail is actually elevated to cross over, so there's a great breeze on the bridge.  I stop and walk, just letting it blow all around me and cool me off.  Back along the trail, until about Mile 24, which is nice, because it truly means you are almost done when you hop back onto the roads to head back to Marist.  Although, having said that, they do seem like a long 2 miles, because there's a bunch of turns and landmarks along this part, so you cant really zone out and then suddenly realize you're gone 2 miles.  

{photo credit Donald Byfield}

But finally comes the turns onto campus, down a hill, under and through the tunnel, meadering through campus, up a hill, down a long hill, through the tunnel to the boat house(its really fun to yell while going through here, make sure you do it sometime), and then up the final hill and then down the hill to the finish!

Crazy as it sounds, in the stupid hot heat, I actually managed to better my time from Rhinebeck by the teensiest bit.  I make a mental note to do that more often, but, flashforward, I forget by the next race.

Its funny.  I said after this race that its the first one ive run in a long time with my head actually out of my ass and I needed to write about it so that I can remember I am actually capable or turning off that sick competitive gene, but it still took me forever to post this.  Guess I was waiting to see if the attitude stuck, because I need to learn from this, because life isn't handing me lemons at this point, its handing me rotten moldy lemons that I cant do anything with, and I really really need to learn when I need to throw the lemons out instead of trying to make lemonade with them.

Final Stats:

4:01:01

39/187 overall, 13/77 women, 5/18 F30-39