#but im enjoying it regardless of the art style

[sanjipussyindulgence]

watching the kaiju no. 8 anime and the kafka + reno dynamic is so top-tier. contrasting reno, a sterotypical edgy anime teenager, with kafka, a pretty regular guy in his 30s, has such endless comedy to it.

they're father-son coded but reno did the adopting. he saw how lame and wet kafka was and fetched the adoption papers out himself.

[alicenpai]

i love...wanpee...........🍊🍶🧡💚

[hannieehaee]

Svt members types like would some prefer opposite attracts, similar

their preference in a partner

content: established relationship implied, neutral reader (not exactly a reader-insert though), etc.

wc: 818

a/n: these are just based on assumptions of mine! i dont think any of them are into one single specific type of person, so i mostly focused on personality and style!

masterlist

seungcheol -

i think he'd be into a baddie lmao. he gives me the vibe that he likes someone who exudes confidence and has people falling at their feet. he'd love the immense pride he'd feel knowing that he pulled them and no one else.

jeonghan -

someone unexpected. most people would assume that he'd go for someone with an innocent and angelic look (similar to him), but i think he'd be into someone with an edgier style. he would still like someone with an innocent and sweet demeanor, but an edgier look (and ofc a similar sense of humor to his).

joshua -

im torn between thinking he'd love either a baddie or someone with a more reserved and cute style. either way, i think he would love someone who carries an air of confidence. someone who's just as charming and likable as he is. would probably want someone who seems very well put-together and just looks expensive.

jun -

i see him going for someone similar to the girl who played his love interest in the drama he was recently in (regardless of gender; just someone he can comfortably joke around with and is very comfortable with). as for style, he might be into someone who exudes an expensive and put-together vibe; someone who carries an air of confidence.

soonyoung -

i picture him going for someone very smart and well-read. he seems to be fascinated by learning new things (he's always asking carats questions and engaging in convo during lives), so i think he'd love to learn from an s/o and would be turned on by intellect. as for style, probably someone who has a similar style to his own, very chic and street-style-ish. i also think he'd love someone who's clueless about dancing or music bc he'd love to show them everything he knows.

wonwoo -

he'd probably go for someone similar to him. by this i mean that it'd be someone lowkey and calm like him. someone who shares his interest (photography, video games, editing, music, etc) and also shares a similar vibe to him. he'd look for someone who brings comfort and has a similar mindset to his own.

jihoon -

i feel like he would go for someone who's very different from him. someone who's very 'out-there' and who would try to get him out of his shell (and out of the studio lmao). style-wise, he does not give me the vibe that he has a preference, but maybe someone with a similar style to his (mostly darker colors and very relaxed).

seokmin -

i think he would be into the 'perfect ___ next door.' he would be into someone sweet and charismatic, but maybe a little shy. he would want someone who would be the perfect recipient for all his affections; likely someone a bit more introverted than him, because i think he would enjoy someone who's a bit shy to his affections (it'd make him have cuteness overload at you). as for style, i think probably that cute sorta preppy korean street style you see a lot on pinterest.

mingyu -

he'd probably go for someone who has a similar extroverted personality. someone who will flirt back with him and just exudes the same heartthrob energy he does. as for style, a mixture of a baddie and a cute/relaxed style. i dont think he bases his interest in style, though. he probably goes off the compatibility your personalities may have.

minghao -

its hard to tell with him ngl. im torn between someone with edgy style or someone who exudes poise and elegance (like him). regardless of that, i think he would want someone who is very self expressive and has a very unique style and personality. would love someone who shares his interests for the arts.

seungkwan -

i see him with someone who has a preppy and cute style, very similar to his own. he's sooo extroverted he could probably be extroverted for the both of you, so he would likely go for someone either introverted or extroverted. personality-wise, i think he'd like someone he can banter with in the way he does with his brothers.

vernon -

like jeonghan, i think he would go for someone with an edgier style. if you have a goth or edgy type of style, he's on his knees for you. would also go for someone chill and self-assured, similarly to him. he would either rlly enjoy a s/o who was equally into music and movies as him OR someone kinda clueless who he could teach about his fave movies/music.

chan -

he'd 100% want someone in his field. dance is his life, so i think he'd go for someone who understands his love for it and also shares it. this means he would likely go for someone active that could keep up with him. as for style, i think he would simp for you regardless of how you presented yourself.

[mickmundy]

i am now hooked on bushmedicine bc of your fics, would u happen to have fic/blog recs? 👀

OH MY GOSH EEE THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND ;__; I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE ENJOYING MY SERIES!!!! ;u; as for recs.. ohoho... yes... i do.., fortunately i have amazing talented friends whose work i admire and adore!!! just going to say that this list is by no means exhaustive or complete and is being done completely off of the top of my head, so PLEASE don't feel bad if i leave anyone out!! ;__; <333

also i'm really not super active on here so i mostly know twt accounts but i'll do my best! i'll firstly advise you to just look through my bushmed tag on my blog. lots of great folks in there!! ^v^ so much talent!! aoguaougaaa!!! and to my friends who have supported me with my own fics thank you so much ;;; i owe u all everythign!! <333 going to stick this under a cut since it's kind of lengthy!!

for fic recs, i actually don't have a lot of time to read many, sadly!! ;_; BUT i'll gladly point you in the direction of some of my besties' fics that i have read and absolutely adore!!:

see that my grave is kept clean by @fairyouth.... my favorite. john is a freaking MASTER of writing them and i love his big huge creative mind!!

heatstroke by @eurovamp... kat is so talented!! i LOVE her interpretation and they have so many fun au's!! i haven't gotten a chance to read it but she also wrote a bushmed naga fic that they've been talking to me about and AAHHH IM SO EXCITED TO READ!!

as for fanart, i'll also use this as a chance to promote my lovely talented friends!! i don't speak for them of course but i believe some of them (myself included) might be more active on twitter, i'm not sure! :( but i'll rec them here regardless hehehe!! some accts are ns/fw too so just a heads up!

@lovey2dovey2 YESSS FELLOW MEDSNIP LESBIAN!!! HEHEHE!! she's SO talented and kind, and all of her interpretations are SO fun and creative!! absolutely adore her art style!!

@5piecechickendinner / @5piececockdinner DEEEEEE absolutely stunning pieces, great moody art and a joy to talk to!! a blast to talk headcanons with too!!

@rabidratbaby -> twitter acct! amazing pieces, conveys such tenderness and sweetness in their art, both nsfw and sfw!! super chill and immaculate vibes in general!!

@radioactive-gremlin -> support her on patreon! char's got it all... lighthearted silliness and super sexy comics!! a total delight to follow and befriend!

@lubby-beez LUB!! so sweet to know, and the queen of saucy medic art!! amazing coloring and body type representation and super fun ocs!!

@poisonedflame if you follow me on here you've probably seen me reblog ren's amazing sfms quite a few times hehe... so kind and talented, huge-brained and a wonderful friend!!

@skymacaroon fantastic art and super fun to talk to, absolutely love how he draws medic and sniper!!

@oldkamelle one of the accounts that warmly welcomed me to tumblr.. ;u; very kind and so great to talk to, totally wonderful artistic talent!!!

as for folks who i am not very close to but whose works i still adore and cherish and scream so normally and lovingly any time i see them on my tl and who i want to still give some spotlight to! i hope it's okay that i'm tagging you in this! ;-;

@goo-p absolutely no notes... ellís's style yields so much range for whimsy And more somber/serious pieces... absolutely stunning!! a joy to work with creatively and to speak with!!

@hootsimedes such cute style and so many amazing creative ideas!! and so kind!! ^u^

@halfhihat SUUCH a cute style!! absolutely love the cute little comics he draws!!

[neet-elite]

good evening!! had a couple thoughts today….

1. not to be icky but…love interest pube style. personal bias taking place but

- i don’t think whitney does much but trim them. they’re blonde and he has a happy trail. f!whitney has a landing strip (your art of puppy m!whitney is exactly how i picture it)

- kylar doesn’t grow much body hair, so he doesn’t have to do much to his as well, but he also barely has them. f!kylar trims hers but still has a dark bush

- avery, regardless of gender gets waxed to keep up with their high end attitude

- robin, regardless of sex doesn’t think much about their pubes, but like kylar also doesn’t grow much

- eden is hairy and owns it completely

- not sure about sydney…?

also, as a sdv and dol enthusiast, whit/kylar and sam/seb occupy the same space in my brain. almost like whit/kylar are the dark version of sam/sebastian? i mean when you play with the yandere seb mod its basically kylar but in the country. not that i see sam as ever being a bully but i also see how the angst in his personal life could lead him to being angry at the world.

also, i fucking hate shane too.

hope the rest of your evening night is well!!!

- <3 whitney’s toy

good evening my love :D pubes are not icky do not worry <3 i actually love chatting about them, they're such a neat detail to discuss. as well as body hair in general, i looooove body hair hehe..

Whitney: i agree with your words. to be honest, i was a little inclined to say that they might be clean shaven down there, if only because i think they care too much about their appearance and seem like the type to do that. but they're also a slut, and im unsure if they'd have the time to keep on top of being clean shaven. so i think they'd more often than not just tidy the place up and think good enough.

Kylar: i think they both don't grow a lot like you said, and also that the hair that is there is very dark. m!kylar might be more inclined to shave if asked to, but f!kylar is such a failgirl that i think you'd have to help her shave. wet cat f!kylar looking up at you like the pleading emoji being like: pwease... pwease help me.... i also think they're both just so gross and nasty that they prefer to keep it natural anyway.

Avery: definitely waxes everything the moment hair even thinks about growing, especially pubes. too expensive not to like you said LOL. high maintenance BITCH i love them.

Robin: likes to keep it natural too i think, and also definitely prefers it if their partner is natural also. would enjoy shaving every once in a while just for a change, but otherwise has enough on their plate and forgets about shaving entirely most of the time lol.

Eden: is so hairy ur so right. kind of like robin, eden doesn't even register that they might want to shave, because they're too busy otherwise. has a big bush anyway and would think it a waste of time to even trim.

Sydney: doesn't to begin with, but i think after some sexual experience they might like to at least try shaving. just for a change. i don't think they have a preference either way, but would be happy to accommodate their partner if they have a pref.

and you're right about whit/kylar and sam/seb. it's just the sun/moon duo, right? another example would be: naruto/sasuke. extroverted blonde bitch x introverted black haired bitch, yknow? im sure there are plenty other examples, but i deffo see the similarities between them in relation to character studies! tbh i love placing characters into ill-fitting roles anyway like dress up dolls, i don't think i've written a single piece of fanfiction depicting any character the way i actually think they'd act, so.

and FUCK SHANE. all my homies HATE SHANE. i want to kill him in the game. when he's dying on the cliff i wish there was an option for me to kick him off.

[frenzyarts]

Hello Frenzy from Frenzy-Arts!!! If this is out of the blue and weird PLEASE feel free to delete this but i have a question: im an artist who wants to get into drawing suggestive/nsfw girls (less bean ism <3), but im struggling with how to stylise suggestive posts/outfits/actions without veering too far into caricature Horny Poses or alternatively the other extreme "i am drawing this sexual nude far too much like how i draw in a life-drawing class". Do you have any tips for finding a happy middle ground in stylisation?? Sorry if this is a weird question, i just thought i might ask you bc u talk openly abt being an nsfw artist and enjoying drawing nsfw art ;-; and i cant exactly ask my art professor XD have a great day regardless! 🩵

This isn’t a weird question at all! I’ve noted in the past that I don’t like when people ask me about my own personal sex life, but I love to talk about my nsfw art, and am happy to answer art questions always 🥳

Trying to balance between caricature and figure drawing style nudes is something I find myself trying to work on still as well, and something that helps me a LOT is looking at other nsfw artists work that I enjoy and trying to really think about what makes it appealing and sensual. Is it the body shapes? The faces? The fluids? I’ll try to incorporate whatever it is that’s captured my interest into my own art.

Also what I would recommend to make your art not look like a figure drawing nude is to turn up the spice. Add an element you wouldn’t get in a figure drawing class like a saucy pose or some props

I think trying to avoid generic horny caricature won’t be hard as long as you’re drawing from your heart, and creating something that is genuine to what you want to see. A person could draw the most generic pinup of all time but if they put their soul into it then people usually don’t care how generic a pose is!

Again, this is stuff that I feel like I’m still working on still, but I hope this advice was helpful nonetheless. If there’s a specific aspect of nsfw art that you’d like to hear my thoughts on as well, feel free to let me know!

[just-a-carrot]

Helloooo!!! I was looking for inspo for my own visual novel a little while back, it's set in a ballroom so eventually the keywords lead me to discovering save the last dance (and itch.io in general im a total noob to this lmao) i dont know what it was but it just like took a vice grip around me INSTANTLYY.

So I downloaded the main game today and I am actually silently cursing you because I got nothing done all day I was just like transfixed. The artstyle grew on me alot, and oh godd the character designs... God I love the designs, espcially Genzhou's. There's just so much love (even in every gruesome death scene lol) put into this it's almost difficult not to get obssesed...

Also sidenote I found it kind of encouraging almost to see that you're (self-proclaimed) older, I found that really inspirational lol. There's something that just makes me want to create and actually sit down and learn when I play your games. I guess I've always had this feeling of having all the time in the world but recently I've been feeling almost like it's too late to learn new skills (which is kind if ridicolius since I'm like smack dab in the middle of gen z). Regardless I guess your work made me realize the artistry in visual novels, I could keep going but I tend to ramble lol

ahhhhhhhh this is so sweet!! i got very weepy reading this, especially as i'm already feeling quite soft today as it was a bit of an anxious one... 😭💕

that's fascinating that you found StLD first searching for ballroom stuff!! i am always curious how people first find out about any of my games. i'm happy you enjoyed it, especially enough to go play the main game sob. i'm incredibly touched

and i'm even more touched that you've been enjoying the main game so much 😭💕💕💕 especially all the kind words about the art!! i've grown more confident in my art more recently but especially in the beginning stages of the game i was incredibly self-conscious and worried about it because it was rather odd-looking and didn't match any other typical VN styles. so that's really sweet of you to say. this game certainly has had a lot of love put into it (and blood, sweat, tears, my entire life... etc.). it is very much a big passion project and my eyes were perhaps too big when i got started, but because it dug itself so deep into my psyche and i also made some good decisions like releasing in parts, etc., i've been able to keep working on it until the end despite it taking me like 2.5+ years so far. i'm not even sure i can put into words what this game and chars have done for me and my life and the many journeys and discoveries i've made along the way

dkjfalsdkf yes... i am a millenial, i will say that much. though i don't often feel like one. except for the fact that i often have no idea what people are talking about or referencing and tend to be awkward and confused most of the time LOL this is also why my characters are all older, as well. i sometimes feel a bit strange since i feel much older than many of the others in the VN dev sphere (well, perhaps in age only, not really in mental maturity maybe LKDJAFLKDS). if this can give inspiration to others that are also a bit older though, then i am glad 🤣 i have spent much of my life going from thing to thing and never really knowing exactly what i want to do. case in point my current job has nothing to do with my master's degree. though the one constant has always been creation of some kind, whether it's drawing or writing (and now with games, doing both of those on top of scripting and coding and a bajillion other things lol). i don't think you should ever feel "too old" to do something. or to get started doing something. or to feel like you "haven't done enough" etc. i say this so strongly because i also try to reassure myself sometimes perhaps LOL it's also ok if you don't know what you want to do so you're just trying out different ideas that you're passionate about. so many of us just wanna find something that makes us feel fulfilled and passionate, that makes our hearts ache, that fills us with joy and motivation. so if you can find something that does that for you, no matter how old you are, grab it and don't ever let go lkdajfalskd

at any rate, i'm glad i could also help you discover more about VNs in general. i hope it will be helpful as you work on your own games!!! 💕

[konigsblog]

i’ve drawn so much 💦 art of könig but i’m too afraid to post any of it ;-;

you should post it!! im sure you'll find a community of people who enjoy your art style and appreciate your work :)) and im sure it'll be great regardless 🫶

[springbonnie2024]

AU idea...

so this is actually an old idea, but because its so simalar to springtrap and deliah, i never decided to post about it, but i decided to embrase its simalarities now, its based on a little game me and my little sister used to role play; its called "springbonnie and saillie", its where after the bite of 83 when springbonnie and fredbear are in storage and sailie finds springbonnie and brings him home, all goes well for about a month or two till fate tries to correct itself and springbonnie is vexed by springtrap who tries to convince him he must become springtrap or he will die, and he cant deny destiny, but regardless, springbonnie cant allow himself to become a monstous killer, so he tries to find ways he can prevent this from happening and care for and protect saillie at the same time.

im currently working on it, and trying my best to recreate the springtrap and deliah art style, and hope to post episode one soonish, so please bare with me, thank you and hope you enjoy. :)

[mrpsychokiller]

Hi juice ! I ve been following u for awhile and I must say I looove ur art style. It actually inspired me to draw again, so thank u :)

AUGH SORRY i went to sleep and forgot about this one. thank you so so much!!! that really means a lot to me :] i feel bad about my art sometimes and its really nice to know other people enjoy it regardless, and me being able to inspire you to make your own art is all i could ask for!! im really glad you got the motivation to draw and i hope you have a good time with it ^_^

[ryemackerel]

found u bc of ur fnaf art, i don’t even like dsmp

ur art style is STILL GORGEOUS HELLO?? ur dsmp art is so pretty omgomg

WAHHH THANK YOU THANK YOU <3333 its completely cool if u dont like dsmp! im very happy you still enjoy the art regardless, its so nice having folks like you who still appreciate it :) lotsa love to you <3 <3

[janichroma]

Hey! I discovered rejuv recently. I didn't know pkmn fangames before this so i got hooked. And even though the plot wasn't my cup of tea, there's a lot of things which i want to say are amazing.

Environment effects were one of the most fun- I'd never been into battles, and this was my favorite aspect! all fights felt unique

The side quests/events!! Helping with 'casual' tasks made the world immersive (-: the og should take some notes tbh.

How foolproof it is- as a modder this one left me in awe. (When i entered a house during the espurr hangout, i worried how the game would react. I was very surprised its accounted for!!)

And to finish- the sprites/maps/ the art. They're very similar to the og style - in a way that's hard to pinpoint, but its super nostalgic and it (metaphorically) 'fits' a nice ribbon on top of the aforementioned

I hope this wasn't too redundant (and hopefully i dont come off as entitled). Just wanted to let it out bc, from a 'modder' perspective i really admire the dev team.

p.s: thank you for making this game feel welcoming, as a poc im used to people being Weird about minorities (treating it as a token/selling-point), this game was so casual with the diversity that i felt Normal. ok hope its not too weird i just think its commendable 😭.

These are such older asks Im so sorry, but I'm very glad you enjoyed what you played! The plot is definitely not everyone's cup of tea but I appreciate people sticking around regardless :).

Also as a poc myself, diversity is super important to me too and I definitely also feel where you're coming from with a lot of games/media going into the token/selling-point kind of thing. So frustrating. It's actually such an amazing compliment to hear that it was natural for you because that really is my goal.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

how do you choose what art you reblog and like? i want to tag my art more effectively so it gets seen but no matter what i do it doesn't really work

do you like scroll through the tags or only look at what your mutuals reblog?

Ngl though abt this one for a while.

I usually go through my dash and see what the mutuals are throwing around, but i do go through the tags every now and agin if i have the time. My schedule is crammed these past few months and for me to sit down and take the time to look up art is rare. But thats only me. I see people on here posting and rebloging new fantastic art everytime i log on.

Not that I’m an expert or smthn, but I do find that statistically my art does better when its posted alongside a story or my own thoughts and whatnot. And thats perfect for me cus i have too much lore stored in my shit doodles that getting it out and it being recieved well is a god damn miracle. I can do that less these days but regardless i find giving us the lore of the drawing and your hcs is the besstttt shitt. I know I love when a helltalia artis tdumps their (especially historical and related) hcs and stories with their art.

Everyone here has their niche and why they repost certain art types. I enjoy sorta semi relaistic art styles, historical/political integration of these characters, a good sad angsty hc/story etc…

I think the best way really is just finding your niche and working it through, developing your hcs, sharing them, interacting with people whose posts you really like… tags are good but i personaly dont really think you can rely on them. Maybe even reblog your own art every once in a while. You can also do that for it to be seen more.

But then again im not sure im the person to ask. I started drawing an posting n shit cus my brain was gonna explode if i didnt share it with someone and i didnt rlly care to tag it that well :/ maybe it does work and maybe it doesnt idk

In any case gl <3

[ga-wsc-fmp]

Reviewing past projects - Corruption of Krydos:

Corruption of Krydos was the 1st proper game I made during this course. It was a 2D platformer game with pixel-art graphics, and it was based on an OU (original universe) I had created years prior and always wanted to make some sort of art or media for (such as a game).

I felt like the project went pretty well. I didn't make as much as I went in thinking i would. I had a whole game planned out with a ton of levels and even a boss fight, however i realised just how unrealistic that was when i finished the first level and only had about a week left to finish the game. Nonetheless I was still happy with how the project turned out, particually enjoying the pixel-art asset creation. It was a nice feeling to see one of my characters i'd only ever visualised properly in my head finally be visible and animated, even if it was only in pixel art.

It could be argued that i should'nt have made my first game on something im so passionate about already, as it'd almost certainly not meet expectations and i may hate it. However i was prepared for this and wanted to give it a try regardless, if it turned out bad then that'd be fine. Thankfully whilst i only completed one relatively basic level, I was still overall very happy with the result, and if it weren't so unoptimised and crappily made i'd probably have continued it further. However now i reckon if i want to revisit that project then i'll recreate it from the ground up, likely in a different engine entirely (such as Unity or Godot).

During the project, I needed some music for the game and I was talking about this with one of my friends who is a music producer, and he offered to create some simple music for me free of charge. This was incredibly nice of him and he explained he wanted to practice making music for games anyway so this'd be a good oppertunity for him. So i explained the kind of music i wanted for the project and after some time and me listening to it progress, the track was made and i put it in. This was good for me as a teambuilding moment, learning how to communicate an idea to others and to utilise the skillset of other people to create a better, more unique product.

Strengths:

Asset Creation

Photoshop Skills

Pixel Art

Sprite Animation

Consistent Asset Style

Teambuilding Skills

Unreal Engine Competency

Programming Knowledge

Weaknesses:

Time Management

Unrealistic Expectations

Unoptimised Code

Didn't do much research

Forgot to post some stuff on my blog

[beatcroc]

im seconding what that last anon said, i also adore the way you draw fake pep *and* peppino by extension. so much it makes me nervous/jumpy sometimes idk why my brain does that... ive done it for so long but i dont think its healthy to keep this in anymore.. might be a long one:

in, uh, a number of ways I relate to your specific interp of fake pep but. i'm also very private about Things. something about relating+crushing on characters makes me super vulnerable/shy/nervous even a YEAR later... in other words I'd also be quick to run from/avoid fake peppino but not for the reasons him or any sane person would think. but someone truly afraid of him wouldn't be stal-I mean admiring him from afar. idk how he'd react to someone liking him like That enough to do that but confrontations/confessions have never been my forte. hence this clumsy anon ask

yaaayy making resonant characters yaaaay

🫵 the anon has fallen in love with the funny beast 🫵

[PLEASE understand i am not making fun of you, you are cool & epic, it's just always amusing to hear stuff like this bc i never consider my style to be, like, "attractive" [not being derogatory i just don't have a sense for what Appeals to people in that sense & don't think the most common points for such come up in my art like at all. BUT several people have brought up his being 'charming' or 'charismatic' w how i draw him and i realize this is a kind of appeal unto itself]]

ANYWAY i actually went into his stance on physical intimacy on the, uh, vorepost, which im sure most people understandably did not look at, because it was a vorepost, so to save you from that. tldr is hell yes; he loves being weird and touchy and In Contact on people all the time regardless so if you're giving him express permission to do that, and Enjoying the contact, no less? bro hell yes. he is sooo fucking cuddly and affectionate to anyone who will tolerate it but also it Will be awkward bc he doesnt know what he's doing. i think there's a charm in that too though

idk if this is actually abt physical intimacy but being aroace i dont have much to comment on for other aspects of this kind of relationship lmao. i'm sure he'd appreciate the kind gestures involved in romance or w/e but he might not fully Get it <-projecting

[hamspamandjamsandwich]

ugggh sort of slogging through an artwork right now and I’m getting sooooooo in my head and self conscious about the way I make art

like. idk. i use strong language a lot because im melodramatic bitch, but generally i would consider my overall opinion of my art to be…harsh but fair. I could definitely cut myself some slack, but I’m also not *making shit up* just to hurt myself either. It’s critique that I’d give anyone, albeit harsher since it’s myself and not someone else.

I really think i have a complex because i have a graphic design background and…if you’ve seen my art…you can probably see why I found it very difficult to mesh my illustrations with my designs. Or maybe you can’t because you’re a better designer than me and would know what to do with it lmao. But i was doing that stuff when The Height Of Graphic Design™️ was Swiss typography and minimalism. So I pretty much never made anything that was on trend—aka marketable, which is sort of the entire point of graphic design—and it killed my confidence.

my skills stagnated because i was burnt out and couldn’t make anything, especially since i believed that the only stuff i was good at was literally unusable. And I did try, but it went pretty poorly. Looking back some of this was just imposter syndrome and me being a horrible inner critic. A lot of it looks better to me than it did then when i was making it. But i still see the exact same issues with my illustrative style in that space.

the never-ending complaint i have against my own art is also the thing that makes it good at all: it’s an absolute fucking mess of lines. Don’t get me wrong, i ADORE messy art. I love impressionist painting. I think gesture drawings and sketches are beautiful, and i like making mess art. But goddamn if it doesn’t feel like it’s the only thing i can make.

There’s so much i want to do but I feel extremely limited. I know the answer is that i should just practice and deal with stuff…sucking and looking ugly for a while. But it’s hard to throw all that time into making something that i know is subpar or even just bad.

And it’s just annoying to feel like the reason i can’t do something isn’t a materials or a money or even an inspiration or concept thing. It’s purely a skill issue. I literally just…can’t do it. It reminds me of when i went ice skating the first time and couldn’t make any progress despite my brain knowing what to do. My body couldn’t execute it. And it’s the same thing with this stuff.

I hate having to give up on something, not because i want to or am not enjoying it or don’t have time or anything, but because i simply can’t. I can’t ice skate, and I can’t make beautiful, clean art either, and for weirdly the exact same reason.

There’s also something to be said for the fact that any artist worth their salt regardless of their style can do what i do, really. It’s like i stopped after step 2 of sketching and never finished or learned anything past it lol. Every great artist out there doing great portraits or figure drawings can do gesture, can do sorta messy, etc. But i can’t clean my shit up to save my life lmao

idk this isn’t supposed to be a pity post or fishing. if i didn’t like the art i make i wouldn’t post it, you know? And i didn’t for a long time but i like everything I’ve put on here. I don’t think they’re bad, obviously. But when I see all the stuff I wish I could do…a wistful envy follows.