#but im jus. so tired all of da time

[gurorori]

gonna use his own advice of 'if they aint the one takin initiative everytime & its always ya chasin after em then it aint worth it'

[regretisstoredintheme]

Could you do headcanons for all the rise boys trying to help an insomniac reader? Like reader has been awake for so long they’ve got a headache and just want to sleep but they can’t. I don’t know if this makes sense i don’t request a lot but I love how you write to boys and I need that fluff in my life.

Hey soul sista, I don’t wa— HUHHHHHH?????? 

A request???

*snatches paper*

“Maddesthatter26 asked: Could you do headcanons for all the rise boys trying to help an insomniac reader? Like reader has been awake for so long they’ve got a headache and just want to sleep but they can’t. I don’t know if this makes sense i don’t request a lot but I love how you write to boys and I need that fluff in my life.”

A/N: of course I can!! I hope you’ll forgive me if this isn’t entirely accurate, I based it off my own experience with insomnia as that’s all I really have to go on. YOU LOVE HOW I WRITE DA BOYS??? :DDDDD IM SO GLADDDAAAAAAAAAAA

—Insomnia is a B-tch—

Warnings(?): Reader gets cranky because they’re tired. Slight age regression(?)  THERES FLUFF I PROMISE.

—

Raph

Reader has been awake for 40 hours.

Your eyes ached as you opened them, looking up from your desk towards your phone screen, which had just lit up.

You could have sworn this was the 6th notification in the past hour, disrupting the blissful microsleeps you were able to squeeze in. 

An involuntary twitch of annoyance riddled your face as you finally tried to read who it was, checking the brightness on your phone only to find that it was at the lowest setting. 

Blurry words focused in to display the contact number on your phone, and you felt your heart drop. 

Raph. 

He was texting to see if you were alright, since you had replied to a text of his at 1 am. (Personally you didn’t think it a big deal, this was your second night being awake and you’d been up way later than that)

Breathing out a sigh, you let your fingers slide across the keyboard, sending the message before rereading it.

Raph lifted his phone, feeling pure relief at seeing your name— before worry crept back up his throat at the message you sent.

Sorry Raphiee I’m herrj, whs up?” -Y/n 🍓

His heart wavered a little as he texted back. 

Are you sure you’re ‘here’? You sound a little out of it - Raphie❤️

Yea jus avvdoing sleep - Y/n 🍓

I’m sorry? -Raphie❤️

Cans u comm ov - Y/n 🍓

Come over? -Raphie❤️

Yop -Y/n 🍓

slightly confused, he grabbed his bag of necessities (always ready to go) and started to head over

You stumbled down the staircase, trying to be careful as the throbbing of your head got worse from moving. 

Opening your door for him, you smiled tiredly at his large form— completely missing the heartbroken look in his eyes. 

The way you looked so frail, so— metaphorically beaten and bruised— and not to mention sick. He wanted to just scoop you up and take you away forever. 

“Hiiii…” you drawled, words blurring together. “welcome to my ‘umble abode.” 

He walked in unsteadily, dipping his head to avoid your doorframe. “Is anyone else awake?” He whispered, looking around for any signs of life.

“Nnnope” you chuckled, “how bout we watch a movie?” You smiled back at him, snuggling into his arm.

He shivered, were you always this cold? That couldn’t have been normal.. “You don’t sound yourself, (Y/n).. have you slept recently?” He asked, gently walking up the stairs in an effort to stop them from creaking (it didn’t work)

“I tried..” you sighed, completely ignoring his attempt at silence, “it feels like every time my head hits the pillow I just lose all my sleepiness.”

Raph thought for a moment as you two entered your room, trying to think up solutions. “Actually,” he smiled, turning to you, “How about that movie? I’ll set it up.” 

You beamed at him, jumping into your bed as he pulled out his laptop. He set it to the lowest setting, making sure it wasn’t blinding for you. 

Pulling out Ibuprofen from his bag, he said something about grabbing you a glass of water. 

“This should help your headache.” He said, and you were left wondering how the hell he knew you had one. To him it was obvious

He put on something simple, then  laid next to you, his arm around your shoulders as you used his forearm as a pillow. “You okay?” He asked, making sure he wasn’t crushing you, and you simply responded with a kiss on his hand. 

Throughout the movie, he gave you plenty of nuzzles, letting you calm yourself with the steadiness of his breathing. 

By the end, you were fast asleep, and he had gently closed the laptop, smiling as he snuggled his face into your hair.

Leo

Reader has been awake for 36 hours. 

He was trying to make you laugh with a really bad joke, all giggles and laughs at being in your presence. Unfortunately, your beloved blue was talking so incredibly fast and laughing throughout it that you could just feel the throbbing of your head get worse and worse. 

Overstimulation crept up your throat— you wanted to scream, to pass out, to huddle up in a dark room and never leave it ever again. 

Before you knew it, the words “I’m too tired for this” left your mouth, letting all your scorn for sleep into the sentence. As soon as you spoke it, you immediately felt dread fill your stomach. 

“Haha… what..?” Leo’s smile faltered only slightly, brows creasing as he analyzed your regret-ridden face. “Tired of… what?” He added on, begging to the gods that you hadn’t decided he was annoying. Please, god, don’t think he was annoying— not when he had fallen for you so hard. 

“I’m so… sorry—“ you choked, and suddenly, you felt like you were going to cry. “I don’t— I didn’t— you’re not—“ you felt the world sinking in around you, air leaving your lungs as well as your willpower to speak. You dissolved into mumbles as you curled in on yourself, as if that would keep you from falling apart. 

“Woah— woah, hey!” Leo was pulling your hands from your face, way more concerned about you than any joke he was going to make. 

His hand caressed your cheek, head tilting to the side slightly as he analyzed your face.

His eyes then landed on yours— specifically the bags of sleepiness under your lashes. You always had them, and yet, today they looked worse somehow.

Mentally cursing himself for not noticing sooner, he brushed your hair from your eyes. “I’m not mad, I promise.” He reassured you, leaning his forehead against yours.

“What’s wrong?”

You began sobbing to him about your inability to sleep, and he was already scooping you into his arms, giving you little nods and ‘mhm’s to let you know he was listening. 

In your rant, you hadn’t even noticed you were in Leo’s room until his eye-mask headphones had been placed around your ears, filling the world with the sound of gentle rain and wind. 

You stared at him with surprise, but he didn’t even mention it, smiling as he sat next to you, scooping you into his arms and pulling the blankets over you both— his face nuzzling into your shoulder. 

You were going to bring up the fact that it was almost noon and there was no way you could sleep now— but between the dark, the galaxy nightlight Leo had, his silk sheets, and his thumb rubbing soft circles on your back, you felt yourself slowly feel at ease.

Even if you didn’t fall asleep, you thought, this was a moment you wouldn’t trade for the world. 

Donnie

Reader has been awake for 49 hours.

“Dove?” Donnie lifted his goggles, turning to you when you didn’t respond. 

You hummed, looking back up at him with a dazed expression. “huh? What’s up? I didn’t miss an info-dump, did I?” 

He looked at you with slight confusion, unsure whether you were being genuine or mocking him. “Are you— feeling alright?” He asked, brows furrowing slightly. 

“Oh— I’m fine, I’m great.” You smiled, the gesture not reaching your eyes. 

You had joined your boyfriend’s work in an attempt to ignore how much sleep had been evading you, but with all the lights in his lab, the throbbing in your head was only getting infinitely worse. 

“You don’t look grea— I’m fine!” You glared, taking the opportunity to squint from the blaring lights. 

Donnie said nothing, only quirked a painted brow— as if he had known- no, expected the outburst. 

You shrunk a little under his gaze, feeling guilty for raising your voice. You didn’t even know why you yelled anymore, “I’m.. sorry..” you mumbled, fidgeting with your fingers. You were beginning to wish you had told him rather than trying to avoid it, you just didn’t think he would be able to help. 

Sure, your beloved Donnie had insomnia as well but he was mutated for war, he doesn’t exactly crave sleep like you do.

“So..?” The terrapin queried, waiting for you to explain rather than assuming. He had a theory, but if he knew anything from ‘Dr. Feelings’, it was that people don’t like when they’re made out as something they aren’t.

“My insomnia has been a bit of a.. pain in the arse recently.” You confessed, and Donnie immediately bit down on a “knew it”, trying to pay attention to your tale of woe. 

“Mhm,” he leaned forward, encouraging you to continue. 

So you did, you told him everything, even earning a scoff when you said you didn’t think he could help. 

“Sorry, was something about that funny?” You asked after he chuckled again, glaring as he shook his head, “oh ye of little faith.” He mused, turning in his chair so he could save and exit his program. 

He then spun around, taking your wrist in his hand, “Porphyra, power down.” He said aloud, and all the fancy lights in his lab began to shut off. He guided you away, instead pulling you towards his room. 

“Wait— where are we going?” You blubbered quickly, listening to his gentle laughter, “Did you not want to be lulled to sleep by my incredible presence?” A smirk grew on his face as he watched you blush, continuing to pull you along. 

He quickly made a pillow nest on his bed, asking Shelldon to put on some soothing music for you. 

“Did you want some pjs or something?” He asked, taking off his mask and battle shell. “No..“ you mumbled, trying your best to get comfy on his bed. 

“Excellent.” He said, sitting next to you. “Come here, then.” His arms outstretched, waiting patiently for you. 

He was nervous, don’t get me wrong. His head was going a mile a minute at the prospects of that much physical touch— but, he trusted you enough to listen if he got uncomfortable. So, as you cautiously leaned toward him, he pulled you in, laying on his back with you pressed against his plastron. 

He let himself sigh, pulling you a little closer so he could adjust.

Your heart was speeding incredibly fast — although, listening to his heartbeat, the music, and his steady breathing— you couldn’t help but feel a little better.. tired, even. 

You nuzzled in a little to his plastron. and he felt as if he combusted on the spot. God it was hard being the snarky one sometimes, especially when you were so cute. 

Mikey

Reader has been awake for 27 hours.

Mikey had been in the kitchen, smiling to himself as he mixed a batch of brownies. He knew you had been stressed lately, so what better than to make your favorite treat? 

He jumped nearly 10 feet in the air when he felt you lean on his shoulder, not noticing you from how hard he was focusing. “Oh- it’s just you (Y/n).” He smiled, snuggling his face into your cheek. 

You wrapped your arms around the orange-clad terrapin, slowly letting him hold all your weight as your socked feet slid across the kitchen floor.

“Are you alr— wOAH—“ he stumbled as he realized you weren’t stopping, setting down the batter to accommodate. his arms quickly wrapped around your torso, holding you up like a handful of grapes. 

You mumbled a greeting into his plastron, eyes half-closed. Was it always so— bright in the lair? You snuggled closer to him, hiding in the darkness of your eyelids.

Mikey looked at you with concern, “So… what’s up..?” He quirked a brow, trying to gently bring up the topic as Dr. Feelings. 

You giggled slightly, then regret the choice as you felt the familiar throbbing in your head. 

“Every….thing hurts.” You managed, a tipsy smile on your face.

Mikey’s lips pursed in a wavy line, noting the obvious lack of sleep in your figure. 

“Have you-“ he paused, “slept— recently..?” He smiled warily, having known of your insomnia. If this was a harder episode than usual, he had to treat it delicately, and not like Dr. Delicate Touch unless necessary. 

He looked to the forgotten batch of brownies, which were begging him to put them in the cookie sheet. 

He smiled, cupping your face and pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. 

“How about this, sugar?” He tapped your cheeks lovingly with his thumbs, “I’m gonna throw these brownies in the oven, and then we’re gonna snuggle till you feel sleepy, okay?” 

You whined, “but I haven’t been able to sleep..”

He thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers, delight gracing his face. 

“Alright sweetness.” He picked you up, placing you on one of the seats at the dinner table. “Let’s eat, then! I’ll make you the best dinner ever!” 

He gave you a large plate, filled with leftover turkey, candied carrots, and the like. He encouraged you to eat, sitting right by you and eating his own as the brownies baked. 

What you didn’t know, was how much energy it took to digest that much food. It was delicious, but man, you suddenly felt like you had a lot on your plate. 

Mikey chatted with you as the two of you sat, and the smell of brownies soon filled the room. He got up to rescue them from the oven, and then returned, setting them down in front of you both. 

Soon you felt yourself slowing down, leaning into his shoulder as you finished your meal. You felt bad for not being able to eat the fresh brownies, but your eyes just felt so heavy.

Mikey smiled, kissing your head as he gently scooped you up, taking you to his room so he could cuddle you to sleep. He shot a text to the others, saying he would clean up later. 

He definitely knew you well. 

——

A/N: I feel kinda bad that some of them are longer than others— I TRIED IM SORRY 😭😭

—

[majestyjun]

omg millie angry mean dom gyu i go wild jus thinking abt it!!!🥴

btww im so so sorry u have been feeling this way :c i absolutely loveee ur writing lit so galaxy brain~ ur one of da v few writers i try to keep up with on here ! sending u love💗

- 🍦

hmhmmm angry mean dom gyu~~ blush blush

beomgyu after the universe was against him all day; late to work, issues with corporate, forgot papers at home, and now, poured on by rain just as he almost reached home. white dress shirt soaked through, hair wet and dripping rainwater as frustration pulses through his blood, he’s so tired of everything going awfully,,, and he realizes he doesn’t even have his keys… the barely contained anger in his swears as he dials your number for the third time, only then are you roused from your sleep, confused as you unlock the door. in front of you, a clearly seething beomgyu, his hair and clothes soaked, shoving past you into the apartment before tossing his briefcase aside, yanking at the tie around his neck, reaching into the fridge for a beer.

confused n worried, quietly coming up behind him with a small towel in hand, your hand landing on his clothed bicep… only for him to whirl around, grasping your wrist tightly in his hand, dark, angered eyes roaming your innocent features, so sweet and confused,,, and all he wants to do is absolutely ruin you. ‘want to make it better? strip.’ he demands, upon your question if everything is all right, his gaze fierce with smothering anger, he’s so, so frustrated. your hands tentatively coming to the hem of your oversized shirt, before tugging it up shyly, your thighs clenching together as his greedy gaze takes in your form~~ his husky voice, laced with fatigue n frustration, alluring, isn’t it?

mean dom!beomgyu stripping off his belt n sliding it around your neck roughly, forming a leash n tugging sharply n pushing u into the mirror on the wall, too frustrated to even undo his clothes n settling for unbuttoning his pants, groaning with relief when he sheathed his cock between your legs, one hand gripping the makeshift leash n the other clenching your hip~~ beomgyu n his big dick roughly shoving between into your tight cunny, yanking the leash n forcing you to look at the mirror, fingers sliding against the glass n legs weakened by his mean pace, so rough n aggressive~~ grunting n growling swears, deeper thrusts when he gets angered, his voice so husky n deep, filling your ears as countless cries n whimpers for him to use you <3

beomgyu who ruins your orgasm by suddenly pulling out n roughly throwing you on the bed, impact knocking the air from your lungs score he yanks you over, legs over his shoulders n thrusting deeper >< one hand on your hip n pushing your hips to meet his w every thrust, the other gripping the leash, a sharp tug triggering asphyxiation, heightening arousal n pleasure as air cuts off temporarily >< beomgyu who’s degradation has no limits, slapping your cunt when you whimper that it’s too much, cutely cumming on his cock when he gives a hard spank >< ugh, he didn’t give you permission did he? flipping you over into doggy, his voice close to your ear as he grunts n swears, stupid dog of a slut, not even useful as a fucktoy, too fucking tight, aren’t you? not good for anything but taking his cock, dumb girl, a sharp spank on you ass triggering wails n cries as he leaves a red handprint, so pretty n big on your cute plush ass >< n mean dom beomgyu who shoved you deeper into the sheets, forget doggy, ugh cock sheathed deeper into your cute tight cunt, screaming his name when you cum again, clenching soo tightly around his cock when he cuts off your air, belt tightening when he finally cums all over your ass, hot seed spilling down the curve n on your swollen pussy, fuck it, he’s not done, his cum dripping cock shoved back into your pussy, sorry , you’re his fucktoy until he’s not angry any more, stupid bimbo :P

[autumn-likes-her-stuff]

scott pilgrim really took off.

i havent read the books. i havent played the game. i only saw the movie. it was good, but das all ive seen of it. i did see the new anime on netflix directed by abel gongora n animated by science saru. its actually hella better than i thought it would be. where do i start.

dear lord the style. this is absolutely oozing with a gorgeous and colorful style that i just couldnt get enough of. scored by joseph trapanese n anamanaguchi, the music for this was just also hella good too. the character designs are fantastic, scott, ramona, stephen, kim, young neil, matthew, knives, everyone looks so perfect that it feels like even the main characters didnt get enough screen time because i just wanted to look at their designs.

the writing is kinda weak. i mostly just mean the little character writing moments. maybe its just the english dub needing to match the lip flaps cuz it was translated from japanese, but sometimes it doesnt always sounded as i expected it to. thats not to say that it was bad, but it couldve been better. thats just me tho. the story was great, and hella different than what i was expecting from it. at first, i was jus like "da heck happened dawg" but i got on board real quick. the vocal performances were perfect practically across the board! there were moments where they were a bit awkward, but my god even will arnett did great in the role he had. he coulda had a bit more screen time though.

everyone coulda had a bit more screen time, if im being real. i really enjoyed that it spent its 20 min 8 ep run well, but it coulda benefited if it had an extra episode or two just to give us more time with some characters. thats really my big complaint, i just wanted more of it. i really enjoyed it a lot, and its making me wanna read the comics n play the games. go watch. very good good. (scuffed review, school been kickin me down n im very tired. pray for me to finish another smelly book)

[txxfiles]

give me all the fics where the boys kiss

Hi! It looks like I'm week 3!

I honestly have no idea idea what im doing really but i guess you'll just have to listen to me ramble about something i enjoy. Seems to fit the theme we've accidentally settled on and well! if theres one thing im good at rambling about its bl fanfiction. i read ALOT of fanfiction. like 13million words worth of it in 2023 alone (an estimate but i did the ugly math for jan and feb last year and id already read 2.7 million words so i dont think its too high an estimate).

ive read fics from too many fandoms to count and also have way more hyperfixations then any one person has a right too but the one that has owned my ass consistently for the last 4 years is The Untamed otherwise know as Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS).

The lovely Eucalyptus from week 2 was watching the untamed during covid (and holy shit what a wild ride that was) and the next thing I know im neck deep drowning in fan art and tiktok edits of beautiful chinese men that have no business being as talented as they are (Im looking at u Wang Yibo) This. shit. fucked. up. my. life.

then i turned to my good friend AO3 (love of my life i could not exist without you) and 4 years later ive read my tags dry. if its complete, ive read it. im getting desperate and ive started reading works in progress, yikes. its so risky i honestly cannot tell you how much anxiety it gives me. ive been burnt too many times.

HOWEVER

this does mean if you need a fic recommendation then your girl has got you covered, so i figured i would share with you my TOP SIX fic recommendations. im sorry i tried to make it 5 but i just couldnt do it.

I will be chasing a starlight by feyburner & sundiscus 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 71,479 words - Complete

Omg. Wangxian Startrek AU. The pining, the miscommunication. I felt every range of emotion on this roller-coaster. I literally printed this out so that I could keep it forever. I wish I could read it for the first time all over again. This Fic hit AO3 like a comet. It even has it’s own Tumblr thread! Also comes with stunning fanart.

Paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 53,808 words - Complete

Modern Day AU, Musician/Single dad Lan Wangji falls in love with his son’s Art Teacher Wei Wuxian. I swear it's one of the cutest stories ever written, makes me feel all the good things. A-yuan is adorable and wangxian are hot and charming. The Ultimate wangxian comfort fic. 

Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller 

Jin Rulan & Wei Wuxian - 63,907 words - Complete

Jin Ling fishes his Da-Ju out of the gutter post canon (Literally dying alone in a dirty inn, Wei Wuxian it's been 5 minutes pls) and decides if no one else is gonna keep him then he damn well will. 

It is perfect.  

Junior Quartet goodness, Yunmeng bro reconciliation and Jin Ling being a boss bitch little shit that has no time for anyone's bullshit. I cried as much as Jin Ling did in this story – which is alot. (Also another story ive made myself a solid copy of that i can love forever)

Joy In The Mindst of These Things by Glitterbombshell 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 52,901 words - 5 Works

TEACHER WEI WUXIAN! I love this trope with my whole soul. Lots of adorable baby Lans, I would kill for them. Beautifully written. Lan Qiren gets a much needed wakeup call. Last story is incomplete but can be read without the 5th installment. SO WORTH IT, ive read it like 10 times

The One-Body Problem by mitisket 

Lan Jingyi & Wei Wuxian - 28,689 words - Complete

Well shit. How many times have a reread this story? I honestly couldn't tell you. Jingyi gets possessed by Wei Wuxian’s very tired soul pre canon and it changes nothing and yet everything. Their friendship gives me life and Jingyi fixes a lot of problems for his new bestie/mentor/uncle with his big mouth. Mom I love him 

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 

Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji - 277,225 words - Complete

The best Zombie Apocalypse au on the MDZS tag honestly. There are so many good zombie film references in this one, i see you Train to Busan. Baby junior quartet, a perfect Wei Wuxian modern day depiction and so much love, angst and stress. It's delicious and I've never recovered.  

All of these fics are actually part of a mother document i made last week of all my favourite fics organised by tag because apparently thats what i do with my free time. hit me up if you need a rec!

Now that ive gotten that off my chest i'll let you be lol. maybe I'll do a rec for a different fandom next time. I definitely have enough to choose from!

Lots of Love,

Iris

[caregiver-twylas-daycare]

I DIDNT KNO THAT I CULD B LITTLE IN FICTIV MODE

this is revlation! i can be little girl!!!!! :D myb thas y i felt weird cuz iv only been lil boy an iv nevr been partial fictiv an lil at same time , an im rarly girl a t all bc im only grl wen in fictive mode an iv been avoding it for som reson :< myb bc im not usd to having a mama an i do hab a second mama if im fictiv

i lik wen partial ficive bc bc i feel les awkward tan wen im not an i tink im nicer ? myb tats y i gotted tis mode insted of jus chaos an whwole mode bc thos ons are strssful :(

aso is less tiring :D so wen is combind wit bein lil i mite be sooper less tird? dat wuld be cool

aslo i hab two mommas now :0 on i my dadas gf an te otters anoter ficive . my da didn kno he likd girls until he met moma

im supr happi dat te older hedmates are intracting wit te fictivs more btw :> w used to be seprated a bit from dem bu i tink tats changin an w can be frends esier! i wondr if anyon els in here has multipl modes other than actor/full mode (actor mod is bery common bc dada wantd to make sur we didn hurt anyon wile writing an we writ a lot) isa mystry y tere's so mny fictivs tho, but theyr cool folks :>

btw im watchin a horsie video wit a horse an i tink is gon be a good video :D bc thres a horse an animals good bu i was watchin a horor video befor an it had not so good anmals :(

do u lik horses ? i lik oter anmals mor but horses are pretti

Wow, that is so cool to hear! I love horses! I have rode one a few times when I was younger!

[akitchen]

ne1 have tips 4 writing image IDs with chronic fatigue?

[descendantofthesparrow]

Protective v.2 - Harry Hook x reader - oneshot rewrite

rewrite of one of my first oneshots! Protective! which was a request back when i was taking them! i just wanted to update the writing and plot a bit lol. i dont remember who originally requested it, i think it was an anon request otherwise i would @/ them! 

=

You stared down at the plus sign on the little pink stick in your hands, you had taken the test three sperate times, only for it to be positive each time.

You were pregnant.

With Harry Hooks baby.

How did you know to check if you were? It had been three months since your last period, and you had not been feeling the best for the last two.

Throwing up each day, motion sickness, and then unable to eat at times, then get the oddest cravings only minutes later.

Uma told you there was only one option.

And there it was, staring right back at you, pregnancy.

How were you going to tell Harry…

How were you going to tell Mal?

She hated Uma and Harry, there's no way in hell she would approve of you and harry together, that’s the whole reason you never told her about your meetups in the seven months you had been seeing harry.

You were glad that Mal never got the inkling to walk over to Uma's territory and see you and Harry together.

Evie might be happy for you but with one word from Mal she would turn, and you didn’t want to lose any of them, but you didn’t want to lose Harry and Uma either.

Harry had saved you at a dark time in your life, and Uma had taken you in even though you were apart of Mal's crew, the two-no them and their crew had become a second family to you.

If Mal refused you simply because you had been flirting with the “enemy” you would gladly throw down her flag to raise Uma's.

But you still at least wanted to tell your friends about your accidental pregnancy before they left for Auradon, which was within the hour.

=

“hey guys?” the four vks stopped, looking over at you and raising their brow “I need to talk to you before you leave”

“Okay, shoot” Mal hummed, tossing her sketchbook in her backpack and leaning against the wall. Claros and Evie stopping in their little card game and giving you their full attention, Jay sighing and nodding to you.

“um-im pre-“ “MAL!” Mal jumped at her mother's shrill voice echoing through the room, leaning over to look at her mother looking into the room “get your butt over here, the limo is here!” “you said it wouldn’t be here till 11!” Mal yelled back, Maleficent just pointed over at the wall clock, the five of you hurrying to look.

It read 11:01 am.

“shit” Mal cursed, grabbing her bags and running out of the room, the rest of the vks quickly packing up their things and following after Mal, Evie quickly grabbing your arm and tugging you along.

You tried to get a word in but by the time you caught your breath, everyone but Mal was already loaded into the van.

“mal?” you whispered, stiffening as Mal smirked and patted your arm.

“you can tell us when we get back kay? Oh, and stay away from the docks, Hooks been eyeing you up and I don’t trust him or Uma as far as I can throw them.”

You couldn’t get out a word, your brain shorting out  “i-I okay” you muttered, watching mal nod and hop into the limo, feeling your nails dig into the palm of your hand as you watched your friends drive away.

=

Hours later you sat in Uma’s room, watching Uma stare down at the positive test in her hands, your leg bouncing as you waited for her reaction. She looked up at you and smiled.

“congrats girl, now how you telling Harry?”

You sighed in relief at her calm demeanor and shrugged “I have no clue how i’m going to tell him, i’m-i’m not scared of it, but I don’t know how he’ll react, I mean, he’s never shown any interest in kids other than the twins and-I really don’t know if he’ll react…positively to this?”

“well you have to tell him at some point (y/n), it's his kid too”

“I know I know….I just don’t know how to tell Harry im-“

“tell meh wha?” you squealed and spun around, seeing Harry in the doorway, brows raised in confusion “sorry love, but Uma, yer mom is lookin fer yeh”

Uma groaned and stood from her bed, pushing past harry and nodding at you “tell him” Harry gave her an odd look and walked over to you, taking your hands and pressing his lips to the back of your hand.

“what do yeh need ta tell meh lass?”

“um-i-“ you stuttered, eyes moving about the room, avoiding his gaze. The grip on your hands tightened before they released, moving to your shoulders.

“are yeh okay?” Harry murmured, worry buried in his tone, “yer kinda scarin’ meh?”

“i’m-i’m” you took a deep breath, taking Harrys hands and placing them on your stomach “i’m pregnant”

Harry entire body stopped, eyes locked on your intertwined hands placed on your stomach “harry” you whispered, feeling bile rise in your throat and the anxiety grow the longer he stared at you “um-are you….is this okay?”

“im gon’a be a da’” Harry finally whispered, tears trailing down his cheeks as a smile broke out on his face, he looked up at you, his eyes shining with joy “im gonn’a be a da!” he picked you up by the waist, spinning you around as he laughed and continued to repeat the phrase “im gonn’a be a da!”

You broke free from your trance and started to laugh with him, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning back in his arms, stumbling a bit as he set you on your feet and pulled you into his chest. “ill be the best da’d I ca’n be on this dumpster fire of an island I swear” harry muttered into your neck, you hummed and tightened your grip around his shoulders.

“well we might not have to raise them here” Harry pulled back, raising his brow “Mal and the others went to Auradon today, and they’re going to get the wand and free us all” a grin spread on Harry's face, his eyes brightening.

“yes!” he picked you up again and held you tightly, you giggled, wrapping your legs around his waist “we can get a house by the shore! An’ well get our own ship to travel the world an-“ you laughed and pressed your finger to his lips, silencing him.

“why don’t we take this one step at a time okay?” Harry pouted, but nodded, setting you down on your feet again and grabbing your hand.

“fine, let's go get yeh some food okay?” he lead you out of Uma’s room and towards the chip shop.

“okay~” you sang, feeling the weight on your shoulders fall as you mentally reaffirmed yourself that Harry was happy to be a dad, and wouldn’t be leaving you.

-

You stared at the tv in the chip shop, watching in horror as your…friends, betrayed you, choosing to stay in Auradon and be good.

They…..they weren’t going to come back….you knew it….some might say it was too early to tell, some might say they were playing the long con.

But you knew Mal, you knew Evie, Jay, Carlos….they were truly choosing good, and were leaving you behind.

The world around you blurred, Harry's feral cursing and growing fading into the background, you feebly reached out, fingers brushing against his jacket.

“(y/-(y/n)!” he called out to you, his hands wrapping around your head and waist as you fell out of your chair and crumbled to the floor.

-

The sound of something being hit woke you from your impromptu sleep, Harry's quiet cursing in the background.

You cracked your eyes open, surveying the room, seeing that you were in Harry's room, buried in his sheets while he paced around the room, hands buried in his hair and muttering to himself.

“gakit cunts, tell Uma n’ I that she's theirs then jus’ leave her” he cursed, stamping his foot as he spun on his heel, his bright blue eyes locked with yours, widening and bolting over to you, crashing on his knees to kneel next to you “love are yeh okay?!” “i’m fine” you sighed, slowly sitting up and sitting against Harry's pillows “just….shocked you know?”

“aye…i’m so sorry (y/n)….” He pressed his hand to your stomach, shoulders slumping “we won't be able ta raise them in the open world like we wanted”

“as long as i’m with you harry, it doesn’t matter” you comforted, pressing your hand to his cheek and rubbing it with your thumb. He gave a soft smile and leaned up to press a soft kiss to your cheek.

“I feel the same” he smiled, standing and climbing onto the bed next to you, pulling your head to his shoulder and letting you relax against him “ye need ta be more careful from now on okay? We can't ‘ave more spills like that”

You snorted, closing your eyes and rubbing your cheek against his chest “you say that yet everyday you half risk your life for the stupidest shit”

Harry rolled his eyes, kissing the top of your head and closing his eyes “whatever” he mumbled.

You gently smacked his thigh and maneuvered to rest in the crook of his body, pulling the blanket over the two of you and sighing, ready for a nap.

Uma entered the room thirty minutes later, looking for harry, stopping as she saw you and Harry wrapped up in each other's embrace, your face buried in his neck and head resting on his shoulder.

One of Harry's arms completely wrapped around your waist protectively, the other arm resting beneath your head and hand covering his eyes as he slept silently.

Uma sighed and smiled, stepping out of the room quietly and closing the door behind her “I’ll get Gil to do it” she muttered, walking back up to the main deck.

=

After 7 and a half months and an exhausting 72 hours in labor, you had finally delivered your month and a half early baby. “hi” you whispered, a tired grin spreading across your face as Desiree handed the screaming babe to you “you came a little early hun” you cooed, feeling fresh happy tears prick at your eyes as the small hand of your newborn wrapped around your finger, her eyes cracked open the slightest bit, Harry's bright blue irises staring at you for a moment before they closed.

“Harry” you laughed, not taking your eyes off the babe as he slowly leaned up from his crouched position by your side and looked at the swaddle of red and pink in your arms “she has your eyes”

“really?” Harry whispered in wonder, reaching out to touch the baby's pudgy cheek gently, gasping as she let out a small whine and released your finger to grab his “i-iahhghghg” Harry fell back on his knees, his eyes shining with tears “she's perfect” he whined, voice wavering.

You giggled and shifted to maneuver the baby into Harry's arms, he sputtered for a moment before he took her comfortably in his arms, the babes head resting on his arm safely. “oh” he whispered, unable to look away from the little girl in his arms….his little girl “she's amazin’ love” he sniffed, biting his lip.

You smiled, snuggling down into the sweaty pillows and contently watching Harry hold your brand new baby girl in his arms, looking down at her with the softest look.

“what-what are we naming ‘er?” Harry whispered, gasping as the babe let out a little burp and snuggled into his arms, tiny hand grasping onto his shirt.

“what about the names we discussed” you mumbled, feeling sleep weighing down on your eyes.

“….Emma? but I thought yeh wanted the name ta be Arella if it was a girl?” Harry asked, carefully standing and sliding onto the bed.

“why not both,” you asked, resting your cheek against his arm, smiling softly at the sleeping baby girl.

“….Emma Arella?....that sounds a bit odd, Arella Emma Hook….I like that?” Harry rambled to himself, staring off into a corner while absentmindedly rocking the babe.

“I like Arella Emma” you sighed, closing your eyes and slowly falling into the comfortable reins of sleep, following your little Arella’s lead.

“Arella Emma Hook” Harry whispered, leaning down and kissing her head “Welcome to the world, my love”

-

You bounced Arella on your hip as you traveled the back alleys of the Isle to get back to the ship after visiting Dizzy to have her cut your hair. You cooed at Arella and turned a corner, stopping as you locked eyes with a familiar blue-haired “princess”

“(y/n)?” Evie gasped, her hands covering her mouth “you-you’re still-“

“here?” you snapped, glaring at the three-no four teens standing across from you, shock clear on the vks faces, and confusion on the fourth….king ben. “how surprising, but considering you abandoned me, I guess It shouldn’t be” you lifted Arella to your shoulder and started to turn back towards the docks when Evie reached out to grab your shoulders.

“(y/n) wait we never-is that a baby?” Evie stopped mid-sentence, staring right back at Arella, who was glaring back at her, her bright ocean blue eyes flashing.

“yes, and she's the reason I needed to talk to you before you left” you muttered, smirking at the look on Evie's face. “oh? Did I forget to mention? Oh, wait! I just never got the chance since well, you never came back like you promised” you spat, stepping away from Evie as she tried to reach out to you again. “(y/n)” Evie started, her brown eyes dark with tension “whos the father? Did you say yes?”

“how-how dare you?!” you screamed, taking several steps back from the vks, tightening your grip on Arella, “you think she's a rape baby?! I-I” you sputtered, feeling your face heat up the longer you looked at the traitors “and for your information the father is-“ “Step away from them, now” the deep growling voice of your boyfriend seeped in from the shadows behind you, hand gently curling on your shoulder and guiding you behind him as he stepped up, drawing his sword, guarding you against your old “friends”

Jay glared at the pirate, attempting to rush him and grab your arm to get you away from what he thought was the enemy. Harry snarled, slashing down at his arm, making jay leap back, yelping as harry slashed to the side with his sword “what did I tell  yeh Jay, stay away from my girl”

“yo-your girl?!” Jay sputtered, eyes leaping between you and Harry “but-she-“ he shook his head “there's no way that kids yours Hook! (y/n) couldn’t have possibly gotten pregnant AND given birth within six months!”

You grabbed Harry's shoulder as his entire body tensed, shaking your head as he turned to you with confused eyes, you handed the squirming Arella to him, who immediately latched onto his neck and snuggled into him.

“look” you sighed, crossing your arms and cocking your hip “me and Harry were together before you left, and I was three months pregnant the day you left, I was trying to tell you about it but you left before I could tell you and then you never came back, I really didn’t have a choice” you sighed, shrugging your shoulders “I never told you before that because I knew Mal would throw me to the streets to fend for myself, and not one of you would have said a thing”

The three vks looked at each other, shame clear in their expressions, Evie tried to speak up again but you silenced her with the waved of your hand “don’t bother, nothing you say will make it better” you turned around, grabbing Harrys now free hand and leading him away.

Ben watched the two teen parents walk away from him, frowning as the vks shook their head and continued onto their hideout. They-they were just going to leave it at that? They defiantly knew who she was, and expressed worry for her but….they were just going to move on? Not even ask him if she could come to Auradon…in the six months, not once had they mentioned her…

Ben looked back to where the red-coated pirate and (y/n) had once stood….as soon as he got back to Auradon, the next round of vks would finally be coming to Auradon.

Starting with Harry, (y/n) and their baby.

-end-

permtaglist

@queer-cosette​ @sephiralorange​

@lunanight2012​ @daughter-of-the-stars11​

@musicarose​ @imtryingthisout​ 

@remembered-license​ @random-thoughts-003​

@verboetoperee​ @rintheemolion​

[judememories]

lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: oOoohohOhoh im in love w judas.... ju-Das juda-ah-ah... i rly missed jude tbh so i decided to bring him in as a second. i hv faith i cn manage jugglin i... ...... .. . have faith. in case u dnt kno it is me (nai) n this is like. the one (1) male chara iv ever managed to play longer than jst a few weeks. truly jst Zee Fruit Of My Womb! bt anyway. jst gna leap right in to the intro. we die like men

he pinterest: 

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger's rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying "fuck off" to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

he hd to do community service bc he kind of... hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he... stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like... drivin around the place sort of... tryin nt to cry.....KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw... broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room....... n thts where hes been 2 explain his absence to any of u whose charas had... connections w him Way Back When

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure....... hes always thot he ws straight... fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds... who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

frm this point on i wnt lie iv pasted in his old intro bc. a bich is lazy! a bich is predictable! and a bich! is! unapologetic!

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was bornthey just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work outthey were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plansthey literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Judepersonality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b. 

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam..... my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

[deluminatorillustrator]

HEY LETS DO THIS AGAIN, mayb like some ramantic hcs,, jus a few of ur favorites ig ;)) but also im now curious as to your personality hcs? im so sorry if these dont narrow them down at all man :((

OKAY LETS DO THIS MAN first of all… romantic shit

Draco realized he was in love with Harry in 4th year, denied it for 5th, and spent 6th unable to bear thinking about it. He spent 7th just hoping Harry was alive and would daydream about Harry coming to rescue him. If we’re going along with canon- (cough, book 7 sucks, cough) -I like to think that when Harry spoke at Draco and Narcissa’s trial, that was the be all end all for Draco’s heart and it was immediately after that he came out to his mom about being gay and in love with Harry. (Narcissa done been knew) And Narcissa, being, you know. Herself. Invites Harry over for tea one day as a thank you and Harry goes, telling Ron and Hermione it’s not about Draco. But it IS about Draco. They become awkward friends after that, and that of course leads them to becoming Weirdly Close according to all Harry’s friends. Harry is stupid though. and does not realize he’s in love until Hermione tells him.

ONCE THEY START DATING…. harry is like fUck im not romantic enough i need HELP because draco is a huge needy baby that demands excellence. so harry has to learn what draco likes the hard way. they never talk about it and their first year of dating is disaster after disaster. but right around the same time as their one-year anniversary, draco’s like okay fINE and gives him a break, gets off his high horse and just expects to go out for dinner. BUT HARRY HAS BEEN PLANNING. and he blows it out of the fuckin park. he’s like, romantic comedy level. like 100 white roses and they go out for a stroll through the gardens and he gets a horse drawn carriage and draco is FLOORED. after that they learn their lesson and actually talk about things more and their relationship is way better off. and theyre annoying as hell in public just holding hands and kissing cheeks and its GROSS and ron makes fun of harry every single damn day. they have a super loving, happy relationship and they bicker jokingly a lot (ron and hermione finally realize it’s how everyone knew they liked each other)

as for personality stuff.

i like to think that once the books are over draco comes into himself a lot more and grows up a little. he’s still super dramatic and annoying, but in the best way. also, he’s best friends with luna and hermione and jkr can pry that from my cold dead hands. he and ron are chess rivals forever and sometimes when harry and ron go out and have a guys night they come home to draco and hermione screaming about whatever new textbooks just got published and their mutual crush on gilderoy lockhart in second year.

harry i think is bitter and tired for a while after the war like gOD he needs a break! but luckily draco is around to cheer him up. and of course, because i’m sensible, unlike someone who wrote a bad epilogue, i think harry quit being an auror pretty quick. like one or two years max, and then he went to teach at hogwarts. draco was super supportive and loved seeing harry teach (he might be jealous of the da) and harry was so much happier that way. i think harry takes a while to get over a lot of the deaths but he turns out to be a great leader and is constantly speaking out about injustices in the wizarding world (and maybe hermione helps him write a few speeches)

when they decide to have kids, luna is their surrogate and im totally stealing this from a drawing i love of @nedjemmm‘s but they have a son (scorpius sirius) and a daughter (lily luna) and then maybe once those two are older, they have their third kid, james rubeus TAKE THAT JKR

[harelan]

responses 2 anons under cut (i jus didn’t wanna clog ppls dashes)

popular da fandom blogger. they didn’t do anything problematique (aside from once getting shitty abt being asked to tag the q-slur)

gggg they haven’t done anything in particular it’s just that they’re SO rude and condescending nd they’re given such a big platform and everyone treats their shitty shitty takes like gospel and im Tired of seeing it

i think my favorite bad take was a post about cullen’s romance versus josephine’s where they claimed that cullen got more content. i saw it in the context of someone debunking it, where not only is josie’s romance just longer, but it also has a custom quest and the animation where you do the spinny hug with her would’ve been hard to animate and they rigged it with every single possible inquisitor, whereas cullen’s romance is mostly just walking and talking to him. idk i tune them out most of the time, that’s the only one i remember. 

but it’s like. there r people who actually contribute theories and fun content to the fandom, and r nice people to interact w, and they deserve a platform. all they do is summarize lore and pepper it w opinions (but present it as fact) and be rude/condescending to people who don’t agree w them and im Over it 

(also ggg i wish tumblr blocking worked that well :( all it does is prevent them from interacting w my stuff)

[gayspock]

dont rb dont rply  sowwy lasst venty pot

mmaofjaoif. sorry i jut. 

do u ever sometime thnk about . i dont know when i was syounger i jssut ke pt thinking to myself. it’ll pass and it’ll be fine some day and some day you’lget out but intead its slike. life has be en nothing but a seriess of cloing doors as more and more of it s huts down and u realise it never was goning to get better it was always jusst going to be. LIKE THIS. like i tried i swea rihave tried but i just.feel like su ch an idio in the end nd i cat. take that any more i cant t ake. any of it any more. im so tucking ti red of being alo ne ad m tir ed of being a failur e but i cant do it i cant manage any of it and i dont k nwo why because i tried i sw ear i try but it jus t.. all o it fu ck ing. hh. and i cant. take it  i just cant its all its eve r fucking b e en and  wi want to go to sl ee p ndhtats it i dont . want to boter any more i dont i really fckig do nt i jsut want to wal into fuc king traffic and d ie have ppl on facebook st are at some mention it on their feed andtry to rememebr who that bitch evn ws and then ultimtely fail and th.  good GOD m ust. 

i th ought. i dont now. i thought for so s o long at t he very elast. even if i didnt manage to not be so alo ne maybe i’d a t least. get out of this house no ma tter what bu t i t jsut. i cant even . do th at and im st ill fuck  ing tr apped he re and i dont kn o .w it  s e em s s o so s o so fucking s tupid b ut i goe tting s p ar anoid i can t fuckgipsdgjfo, i ek ep seeing things and i kee p hearing th ings and  jsut want to leave my ro om but im afr  aid of him and the m oulld and the dust  ... i dont k n ow my whole bod y. i  joke abot it bt i feels oso ffuc kking tiring to even jsut be al i vve and m d one i dont.. i do nt want to an ymore i do nt. 

like i do nt know wha t. i could even do or wh ere i could even go be cause i cant do an yhting and its so pathetic b ut i sut cant. stop cr ying and i try and peo plee get ang ry liek YOU DIDNT EVEN TRY And i jsut  . fe el eve n more msierae because i did! i t re ally did and thats what ma es it feel so much mroe pa thet ic th at im jsut . doing it  and i swe a r i a m but i . its nothing. its neve r any thng and no one even be lie vs me but  m . just stupid . and i dont know what swron g with me at all im so ... gggod  don tk now  i dont know why. i just. cant do any of it right. i dont k n ow why and im jus t . some times its so angy somethes i feel so fuc k ing angr y and just want to  hi r tm yyself and make it all bl eed and i nd e rstand him sometimes i u nd estand how fucking frustr atng it must be jsut to d eal with me and i dont know thats one of the r easons i should just end it but i fu cking. othr times its ust fuc ing empty ad i wish i t could feel like angriness but the truth is i jus t. i do nt k nwow hy . i dont know why i c ant jus t ge t it right and why its so . ha rd fo rme to jsut be  god dan p erso n with out fu cking. jsut do somt hing have SOME sense of SOMETHING fo o nc e sdo asomeething RIGHT  have a fu ck ing l if e without it bee ing so ha rd but it s too fu ck ing much  and im stupid and talentless and wo rthle ss ad  i cant even fuck i ng perform a god da n fuckign persnality without it fuck ing fall i ng to SHITE and go d. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[xmividaloca]

CIERRA RAMIREZ, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER.   →   according to the school records, MONA AVILA has been attending sacred heart for the past two weeks. i last saw them hanging around the dormitories; i think they were writing nonsense in their notebook margins. at twenty years old, mona has been studying criminal law and get this, i heard that she likes to convince the elderly they’re going to die soon with nonsensical and ominous messages left in their homes — figure it’s true ? everyone around here always associates them with trips to 24/7 diners at 3am in the morning, the hum of a broken air conditioner, scuffed jordans with sharpie designs and says they’re so reticent, procellous, and adamantine. think something will happen to them before the year is over ?   

wassup so ima tell yall a lil bout ma honey mona 

she was born in chicago, il. to a family that was comprised of third generation gang bangers, so ma luv grew up on tough love n been around a lot of shit she shouldn’t have especially round a young age. although she grew up on tough love she had a big ass family and one of the things they never failed to show her how important loyalty was.  which is why she values it even now. but she be feelin like everyone out to get her like chill lmfaoo she gotta a ugly ass mouth and attitude. she keeps to herself but i promise u once u gain her trust and loyalty, u gain dat shit for lifeeee. (although its hard asf to be friends with her cause she gotta smart ass mouth like damn aint nobody even talkin to u like that chill... ) certain family values have stuck on her since a young age. since she didn’t grow up in the nicest neighborhood with a white picketed fence, she had to adjust to her surroundings growing up as best as should could. stayed getting into fights for fun lolz, robbing people, stealing cars, n all da good shit. with her family being from da hood instead of intervening in her reckless behavior n stopping it. they were instead applauding it and at a point she got tired of everything n realized she wasnt really building no future for herself n was tired of making fast money n wanted legit money cuz she knew she couldnt be doin dis forever (well she could but point is she tryna become something in life smh not another statistic ma poor baby) so once she had enough $$ dats how shes now attending the academy n she thought she had gotten a break from da shit she was escaping from but whole time its da same shit just.... some cult shit idek but she kno better than to get involved or snoop from horror movies so she jus be minding her business writing back to her homies from home making fun of da people n teachers n talking bout how different it is from city LMAO yea if u tryna plot or find or more bout her lmk<3 

n hey wassup im nena if yall want ma discord feel free 2 ask fo it<3

[deeafrotailmisstress]

Bacon and Bar Fights

((A super fun RP with Jazz makin’ friends with an ex-dominion dude called Braiden! :D It was super fun and @datela-vodenit​ is a super chill person so I highly recommend checking out their blog and art! Hope you have fun reading this as much as I did RPing it!))

Braiden Sabius sat down at the bar, tired from a long day of traveling, waving to the bartender, “A strong one for me.”

He only had a moment to enjoy the silence before a small woman with big hair kicked open the doors with a loud yell “Oi Barkeep,” she marched up to the bar carrying a big bag full of goods and with a wide smile ordered, “Biggest meatiest meal ya got on the menu for me, t’anks!”

She sat down with her feet kicking happily in the air, not really taking notice of the man beside her and simply looked around absorbing her environment. Braiden flinched for a moment, shifting his seat aways from  her, waiting for his drink. Unfortunately for him Jazz noticed his movement from the corner of her eye and snuck a peek at him before she asked with a grin, “Hey, ya gonna eat dat?”

Braiden looked at the plate of cheese the woman was pointing to; it looked like it had been sitting out for a while. He shook his head, “Uh, I wouldn’t even touch that. That’s got ‘you’re going to have a terrible night’ written all over it.”

The barkeep finally slid him his drink and Braiden quickly took a sip - avoiding eye contact. Jazz’s eyes widened worriedly. She shuffled away from the plate and closer to Braiden with a cringe, “Oh nono, I don’ want dat kinda night, I wanna celebrate tonight!”

She patted him on the shoulder roughly with a grateful dimpled smile, “T’anks fo’ da heads up! Ya gots a name fella?”

The weary traveler’s eyes widened as he flinched from the sudden contact. He shifted on the barstool in worry, “I-It’s um...Callen...The name’s Callen.”

Jazz’s smile, somehow, gre even wider as she repeated, “Callen...d’az a nice name!” She jutted out a hand, “Da name’s Jazz! Friends call me Jazzy or Shorty, enemies call me little shit, but ya can take ya pick, I don’ mind!”

The stranger looked at the hand for a moment then her face before he gave her a nervous smile and hesitantly shook it. “It’s nice to meet you Jazz.” He eyed the baggage she carried for a moment, “You seem to be on quite a journey. Is that all yours?”

Jazz hauled up her bag and patted it proudly, puffing her chest as she bragged, “Jus’ some stabbies and punchers I made meself. YA WANNA SEE?!” She asked and leaned in eagerly towards ‘Callen’.

He squinted in confusion. “Stabbies and punchers?” He mouthed to himself.

“Yeah! Stabbies -” The big haired woman reached into her bag and pulled out a long, silver dagger with a bronze handle that still looked unfinished, but very much sharp, “-And punchers!” She then reached in and pulled out a set of knuckle brasses of very discerning designs, one of them encased in very sharp spikes. Braiden looked on in shock at the sight. He carefully took the dagger from her and studied it.

“Not bad,” He grinned, tossing it around in his hand. “While I wouldn’t call them...ah, stabbies, it feels fairly comfortable. Still needs some work, the handle feels too light for its size.” He handed it back to her.

Jazz groaned exaggeratedly, “Ugh I knoow, Olka tells me I still needs ta work on the kinda metals I use, but I’m still pretty new to dis metal-workin’ shit. But!” She jutted a thumb behind her with an acomplished smirk “I gonna meet up wid some customers ‘round here who asked for my stabbies, an’ now Jazz gonna ‘treat mah self’~” She chirped the last phrase with a sing-song voice and gasped with glee when her plate finally arrived.

Braiden couldn’t help but snicker at her enthusiasm. “I’m sure whomever they are, they’ll be happy with their ‘stabbies and punchies’.” He eyed the food as well, but tried to resist stealing from her plate and took another sip of his drink to distract himself.

“Aw man, I sure hope so, but either way, Jazz gonna eat!” She rolled up her sleaves before grabbing a leg and took a bit bite. It became obvious very quickly this woman was not one to eat daintily in public as she ripped a large chunk of meat and skin aggressively off the bone before swallowing whole. “Whasha doin’ roundeez pars’ frien’?” She asked ‘Callen’ around a mouthful of food.

He wiped away a stray crumb off his face from Jazz’s talking and answered “Just stopping by for a treat. I’ll be out of here as soon as I finish this.” He took another sip of the drink and looked down at the table, tapping at it anxiously.

Jazz blinked owlishly at the tiny cup in his hand and swallowed around her large bite. “But. Ain’cha gonna get somethin’ else? How ya jus’ gonna have a tenny drink when it be feast time?!” She asked ignorantly with an incredulous wave of her hand.

Braiden raised a brow at her for a second. He reached into his pocket and slammed a few copper pieces on the table. “Unless there’s a menu item I’m not seeing that costs two pieces, the drink is the only thing I can get.”

The feasting lady froze as she finally connected the dots. “Ooooooh I’m a dick.” Jazz smacked herself on the forehead with a groan, muttering to herself “Stupid stupid stupid, gotta pay attention to dis shit!” Feeling bad that she had been eating so loudly next to him too, she sheepishly glanced at her companion. It wasn’t really in Jazz’s nature to ever share any of her food, but due to her own faults, she told herself to ‘suck it up’ and grabbed a napkin before shoving the smallest piece off of her plate to him.

Braiden eyed the leg, looking between her and the piece of food. He thought it would have been more polite to refuse the gesture, but at the sound of his growling stomach, he sighed and hastily took it; eating it as messily as Jazz did.

“...Damn, ya really was hungry!” She couldn’t help but laugh before getting back to her own plate and chirping “Ya welcome!”

The hungry traveler swallowed the rest of his food and wiped his mouth, a little embarrassed he had acted so barbarically. “Ahem, yes, thank you. I should’ve said that before.” Braiden looked around the bar once more, fidgeting with his drink glass. “I should probably get going now.”

Jazz didn’t notice his nervous demeanor and simply guffawed, “Whaa-? Da night’s still young dude, jus’ stay an’ chill a while! We’ll even have a treat day together, how about it!” She grinned excitedly and grabbed his shoulder “Jazz got da monies now, so I’ll jus getcha somethin’ too, tonight we’ll feast like food bros!” She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say before calling the Ekose for another plate.

Braiden was reduced to a stuttering mess at her sudden generosity, he tried to refuse her, “I-I can’t stay! I really have to go! There’s uhm p-places, yes places for me to-” Before he could get out another word, another plate of food was set down on the table. “To… To… ah…” He looked at the door then to the food. He mulled it over in his head and sat back down slowly, “Just one more round.”

His new ‘food bro’ snickered “Atta boy!” Jazz got another devious idea and smiled mischievously at Braiden. “Betcha I can finish deez faster than you!” She challenged and in her excitement slammed both her fists onto the counter at the ready.

Braiden eagerly smiled and matched her excitement, “You’re on!” He reached for the first piece when the doors to the bar swung open. He turned to glance at the newcomers and immediately turned away. “Shit…” He cursed.

Three men entered the bar, one short, one tall and the other average. They scoped the bar until their eyes landed on Jazz. The three of them slowly approached her and the average sized man greeted her, “Ah, are you our contact for tonight?”

Jazz quickly shoved a rib into her mouth and was about to gorge onto their feasts like there was no tomorrow until she whirled around and blinked at the man with a confused hum. An espernetic light bulb went off above her head however as she realized who these men were. She cheered a garble of words around her food with both fists raised into the air.

She quickly swallowed her food before waving her arm at the gents, grinning at her companion “Yo dude, it’s mah customers I was tellin’ ya ‘bout!”

Braiden continued to hide his face from this familiar group of men. He stood swiftly and turned in the direction of the bathroom, “Excuse me.” The hand of the leader caught his arm, “Hold on a second there, cowboy.”

“Why don’t you stick around,” The man said. “You might be of use to us.” He leaned in close to Braiden’s ear and whispered “Traitor.”

Jazz glanced at each of the men curiously, not sure who she should be focusing on “Ya know dees fellas Callen? Boy ya sure get around!”

All of the hunters laughed at Jazz, the shorter one asking Braiden “‘Callen’? Is that the name you gave her? You can come up with better names than that!”

The taller man growled eagerly and took up one of the ‘stabbies’ from Jazz’s bag. “Luckily you’re here, face ache. Perfect timing to be our test dummy!” The leader held out a hand “We’re not here to kill ‘im, just to collect him remember?”

The leader looked to Braiden and smirked “Look, you ready to come quietly or make this as difficult as last time, Sabius?”

Braiden glared at the men for a moment, then to Jazz, then back to the leader, “I’m no traitor, I’m not something to collect, and I’m definitely not going to let you poke me with that thing.” He looked to Jazz and motioned for her to leave, “Get out of here, I’m sorry this had to ruin your dinner…”

Jazz didn’t understand what was so funny until one of the men took out her blade and their interactions slowly started to make sense. Afterall, she was in an almost exact situation not too long ago. She quickly grabbed the hand holding her blade and grinned, “Woah woah fellas, now Jazz ain’ too familiar wid dis whole situation…”

She gestured vaguely to...Savius? It certainly didn’t sound like an Exile’s name. “But it sure ain’ no reason fo’ ya to start stabbin’ my food buddy over here.” Her grip on the man’s arm did not align with her friendly demeanor.

The taller man grabbed Jazz by the collar, “Stay out of this, contact!” The smaller one nodded, “Just take the money and do as the traitor says, get out!” The leader then took Braiden’s arm and started to pull at him, “We’re getting our money’s worth out of you, Sabius, whether ya like it or not!”

Jazz’s espernetics started to act up subconsciously as she clutched onto the hands of the taller gentlemen, but unfortunately tripped over as her feet were still caught on the stool’s legs, “Oi oi, donchu grab Jazz or I’mma beat your ass senseless!” Braiden attempted to grab at the empty plate of ribs and tried decking it over the lead hunter’s head, but it was swiftly swatted away as he pushed Braiden down onto the bar.

“Trying to be sneaky, eh?” The leader raised one of the daggers above Braiden’s head, “You’re smarter than this!” Braiden stomped on the lead hunter’s feet, making him drop the dagger. He kicked the fiend away, making him crash onto a table.

Jazz grinned wildly, “Aw yeah, IT’S ASS-KICKIN’ TIME!” She reared her head back and slammed it right into her captor’s before dropping down and shaking her head. It hurt her too, but hey, at least she was free! She whipped out both her machetes from their sheaths and beamed “A’ight fellas, who wants ta go first!”

The shorter hunter, shaken from Jazz’s battle cry, attempted to have at her with his own sword, but she easily dodged his swing without a sweat. Seeing Jazz occupied, the taller one went for Braiden and snatched his neck, throwing him towards the back of the room. Braiden managed to recover, but only had time to dodge another attack from the giant brute.

Quickly looking up at Briaden Jazz cried out, “Ah shit, sorry bro!” She quickly tried to throw her blade at one of the hunters to help her friend, but missed horrible and landed in the fireplace. Her left eye twitched as she growled, “Ugh for the love of-!” She got cut off by another swing from the shorter gent and quickly dodged out of the way again. He cackled at her failure and tried to slash at Jazz again, but in his fit of laughs he only landed a small scratch on her.

The giant gang member slid his foot on the ground like a bull and readied himself to charge at Braiden. He let out a cry and charged, but Braiden took one leap over him and the hunger smashed into the wall. In a rush of energy, Braiden grabbed a small stool and threw it at the smaller hunter, making him stagger slightly but not down just yet. Getting up from the table, the leader tried to punch back at Braiden. Braiden caught his fist and returned the punch to the leader.

Seeing the smaller one knocked down momentarily, Jazz grinned, “Woah, nice one dude!” When the leader approached however, her instincts took over. Blue flames encompassed her fists and without thinking she roared “Oi, DON’T TOUCH FOOD BRO!” And bashed it right into the back of the leader’s skull. The blow was finally enough for their enemy to fall unconscious to the floor.

Completely forgetting about her previous adversary, the smaller hunter latched onto the back of Jazz and tried to scratch at her a few times but was immediately met with an angry backhand from the fiery esper as she growled “Boy sit down, Jazz ain’ dealin’ wid yo’ ass right now.”

Braiden approached the downed leader, leaned down and whispered “Can’t wait ‘till next time, buddy. See ya ‘round.” Once that was over and done, Braiden smiled at Jazz and nodded, leaving for the door. She wasn’t paying attention however, her mind currently occupied by the blue flames that flickered across her hands. Her panicked eyes clenched shut as she held her head and deeply breathed in and out, remembering the calming exercises Olka taught her. Once they finally calmed down, she looked up to find Braiden leaving. She yanked him back by the collar and pointed her other machete at his neck threateningly.

“Oh no ya don’, ya gonna explain some shit ta Jazz.” She growled at him.

Shocked for a moment, Braiden gave in and nodded at her. “I guess you deserve one. But can we do it somewhere else? I don’t want to hang around for these guys to wake up.”

Jazz narrowed her eyes at him, but nodded reluctantly and lowered her blade. She followed after Braiden but not before kicking the poor small hunter in the nuts while spitting on him. “Fuckin’ rude-ass shitheads interruptin’ my goodass meal.” She grumbled.

Once they were outside, Braiden took a deep breath and began, “Okay. So my name is not ‘Callen’, it’s Braiden. I have a bounty on my head for charges that I’m accused of with the Dominion. As you have seen, I can’t have that, so… I ran away… It’s been years.”

There was a really long pause before Jazz suddenly barked a loud laugh and let out a releaved breath, “Hah, dude was dat all?! Jeez, ya got me here thinkin’ dat you’re some freaky-ass child murderer criminal dat I accidentally gave food to!” She put away her blade and scratched the back of her neck sheepishly “Truth be told I totally gets ya, Jazz been runnin’ away fo’ quite a while too...still runnin’ actually.”

She shuckled meekly before smirking, “Braiden though? D’az a cool name too I guess. An’ real quick bro, ya kicked ass pretteh well, an’ dis is coming from the amazing Jazz!”

Braiden laughed nervously along with her until she told her story. He nodded and smiled “I’m just glad we didn’t have to fight whoever’s after you. And thanks, you fight real good too, I certainly didn’t expect you to be an...ah…” He tried to make fiery motions.

“...A badass lean mean fightin’ machine?” Jazz flipped back her long curls with a cocky grin “Yep, I know. It comes wid da awesome hair, what can I say?” She was about to grab her bag when she fiddled with her other blade sheath and winced “I...probably oughta grab my Krog-Killer from da fire…”

“B-but...he was my favorite…” She pouted very sadly at the door.

Her friend grinned at her remark and turned towards the bar “I don’t think it’s worth it at this point.” He turned back to her and held an open hand to her, “Thanks for the help...and the food...Even if you did eat most of it.”

Jazz blinked when he held out his hand. She snorted in a very unlady-like manner and pointed at his hand with a smirk, “Dude, ya kiddin’ me? Put dat thing away.” Instead she spread her arms out with a grin that threatened to rip her face in half “C’meeeeere!” And without warning put both her arms around his waist in a tight hug and even lifted him up a bit with a happy laugh, “Ya kicked ass wid me in a bar fight! That officially makes ya a certified Jazz friend dude!”

Braiden tried bracing himself for the hug, but let himself get crushed under Jazz’s bear hug. He let out a wheeze and lightly patted her back, “Heh, I’m-” he coughed “- glad! Maybe we could kick ass-” he heaved “-some other time!”

Jazz gasped enthusiastically with a very bright beam as little joyful espernetic swirls of yellow bounced around her head, betraying her excitement “REALLY?! Dat’d be great I can’ wait ta- Oh wait shit lemme put ya down now.” She quickly placed him back on the ground and patted his back awkwardly, worried that she broke a bone.

Her friend brushed himself off and took deep breaths. “Well, this is goodbye for now Jazz. Oh, and do me a favor, don’t do business with those shitheads again.” He warned playfully.

“Nope, I ain’t takin’ money from those wank-stains again. ...But I be goin’ in dere for Krog-Killer soooooo…” She gave Braiden a thumbs up before rolling up her sleeves grinning “Back ta kickin’ ass, takin’ blades and leavin’ dis joint! Don’ be a stranger Brai-bro!” And with that she turned around and marched determinedly towards the bar with a violent twinkle in her eye.

Braiden gave one last shake of his head, still smiling, before walking off.

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Stepping Up Again: Part 7

Pairings: Chibs x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, teenage pregnancy, so much angst

Word Count: 3,059

A/N: This series is a continuation of Stepping Up! Read that first if you haven’t! Hold onto your pants, though because this is gunna be a wild ride! 

A/N 2: This is the part where y’al are gunna HATE ME!!!!

Stepping Up Masterlist        Aesthetic by @ravenangel33

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what are we going to do about the housing situation?” You asked Chibs as the two of you stood outside the hospital to smoke a cigarette. He sighed as he sat down on the top part of the bench and shrugged.

“Well Kerrianne bought up possibly movin’ in wit’ Tim ta give us more room. We could move Kellan in ta ‘er room on our side’a the ‘ouse which leaves the oth’a two rooms open for them an’ the nursery.” You nodded slowly as you yawned around your cigarette. “Luv, ye need ta go ‘ome an’ get some bloody rest.”

“I’m fine.” You looked over at him with a small smile and blinked your tired eyes a few times. You couldn’t help but huff a laugh as you took a long drag of your smoke. “OK, so I’m fucking tired. Whatever.” He nodded as he pat the top part of the bench beside him and held out his arm to welcome you into his embrace.

“‘ow ‘bout ye go ‘ome an’ take a nap. I’ll stay ‘ere wit’ the babes for a few hours, aye?” You nodded as you sat down and leaned into his side, letting your exhaustion start to seep its way into your bones. You let your head fall onto his shoulder as he squeezed your arm.

“Jesus… what the fuck happened?” He shook his head slowly as he took the last drag of his cigarette and flicked it out toward the road.

“I wish I’d an answ’a for ye, luv. But we’re goin’ ta be jus’ fine no matta wha’, ye ‘ear?” You nodded against his shoulder and finished your cigarette as you putted out of his grip.

“Alright, I’m gunna go say bye to Kels before I head out. See if she needs anything from the house.” He nodded as you stretched your arms over your head and laughed at the small pops and cracks you got in response.

“Ye’r gettin’…”

“Shut up, Filip.” You said with a laugh as you pushed his arm. You shook your head and took his hand on your way back into the hospital. With every step you took, you realized just how tired you really were. “God, you know what sounds great right now? A dip in the hot tub.”

“Mmm an’ Kellan’s a school. We’d ‘ave the ‘ouse to ourselves…” You moaned as you headed down the hallway toward Kelsi’s room.

“When was the last time we had an empty house? Ten years ago? Fif…” You words were cut off as a nurse raced past you and turned into Kelsi’s room. Your feet stumbled as the sounds of people talking over each other finally grabbed your attention and you took off at a run. “Kels?”

“Stay ou’ there!” Kerrianne yelled at you at the same moment Chibs grabbed you around the middle to keep you in the hallway. You grabbed at his arms as your eyes focused on your baby girl, who was currently having a massive seizure and being held down to the bed by a couple nurses. You were too in shock to even move or make a sound. Your mouth simple opened and closed soundlessly as your tired mind tried to wrap around what was going on.

“Filip.” You finally said as they rolled Kelsi’s still body onto her back and started CPR. “Filip, fix this!” He shook his head and squeezed you tighter as his tears fell on your shoulder. You didn’t even notice your own tears falling as you dug your nails into his arms when they shocked your baby girl. As Kerrianne looked for a heartbeat, Jax, who had been with baby Megan, slid around the corner and nearly collided with you and Chibs.

“What?” You shook your head as you let go of your husband’s arm with one hand so you could grab one of Jax’s. The three of you stood and watched in horror as the hospital staff fought to bring Kelsi back.

“I love you, mommy.” Kelsi’s last words to you before you went out for a cigarette echoed in your head as Kerrianne took a step back with tears in her eyes. “I love you so much.”

“Time… Time’a death… 11:27.”

“No!”

——

Numb. It was the only thing you were currently capable of feeling as you laid on the hospital bed with Kelsi’s cold body in your arms. Tears flowed like a river into her blonde hair as you brushed your fingers through it to get out all the little tangles. Jax hadn’t lasted a moment before shattering a picture frame in the hall and storming off. Chibs had pleaded with his daughter to save his other baby girl before collapsing in the hall way where he still was, sobbing into his hands. You didn’t know how you managed to convince your feet to move but you knew you needed to get to your daughter.

You had instantly started singing when you laid down next to her as you pulled off the leads and the IV’s that were now completely unnecessary but your heart wasn’t in it. It couldn’t be because it was almost like it knew you would never see your baby girl’s face again; knew that you would never hear her laughter in the mornings as she got dressed for school. Your baby girl, who was just an innocent bystander ripped from the world before her time. Your heart finally heated up with rage as you realized just who’s fault this whole situation was. 

The fucking prospect; this was his fault. He was the one who knocked up your baby. He was the one who made your daughter run off. He was the asshole who got in the car accident that lead to your baby girl being in the hospital in the first place. It was his fucking fault Kelsi was dead.

“I want that fucking prick out of this fucking hospital.” You said loud enough that Chibs could hear you. “And he’s never going near that baby again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had your arms wrapped around Kellan and Kerrianne’s shoulders tightly, as if they were going to disappear from your world if you didn’t as you stood amongst your SAMCRO family at Kelsi’s grave site a few plot spots down from Gemma and Thomas’s graves. Tears silently fell down your cheeks as you stared at your baby girl’s smiling face in the collage that Lyla and a couple of the croweaters had made for her memorial. Despite the fact that she had been gone for a whole week, you still felt that it wasn’t real.

“I can’t fucking believe he showed up here.” Happy growled behind you and beside Jax. Your, Jax and Chibs’ heads all whipped up and easily found Mike standing a few hundred yards away by a tree in all black. The rage you felt every time you even though his name boil in your veins as you glanced back at the Tacoma Killer.

“I want him dead. Painfully so.” Happy nodded his head once as you looked back at your daughter’s coffin and kissed your son’s head.

“Can I do it?” Kellan asked as you pretended to listen to the man who was saying a few words for your daughter’s service.

“No. Uncle Happy is gunna take care of that piece of shit.”

“Make ‘im suff’a.” Kerrianne said as she leaned her head on your shoulder and wiped at her tears. “Make ‘im pay for Kelsi.” You couldn’t even bring yourself to care that your children were actively planning murder in their heads and condoning murder as well, something that you usually would have put an end to immediately.

“I’ll take this one.” Jax said as they lowered his baby girl’s coffin into the ground. “I want his fucking blood on my hands.” You nodded your head as you turned around toward him and Chibs because you couldn’t bring yourself to see your daughter be buried.

“Make him pay, Jackson. Make him fucking pay for our baby.”

——

“Hi, sweet girl.” You said softly as you held two week old Megan to your partially bare chest in her NICU room two days after Kelsi’s funeral. You smiled at the tiny little girl in your arms as you rocked the two of you back and forth. “It’s mamaw. You are so beautiful, baby girl.” Megan let out a small, adorable cry as you brushed your pointer finger tip across the back her small head. “Shh… it’s OK, sweetheart. I got you.” You offered her your pointer finger and smiled with tears in your eyes as she grabbed it firmly.

“She’s lookin’ real good.” Kerrianne said as she checked monitors and glanced at Megan Kelsi Teller’s chart despite the fact that her niece wasn’t her patient. “No brain bleed, strong heartbeat but we’re still monitorin’ tha’ spot. She’s gettin’ enough oxygen. We’re gon’ redo the OAE test in a couple weeks ta check ‘er ‘earin’ again but Da’s right. She’s’a fight’a.” You nodded at your step-daughter as you brushed your thumb across across Megan’s fingers.

“She is.” You said solemnly as tears welled in your eyes. You swallowed them back and looked up at Kerrianne. “So what are we gunna do about feeding? I don’t like the idea of her on formula this young.”

“Well I was talkin’ ta ‘er doct’a t’day ‘bout tha’. We’ve a reserve of sorts from other women tha’ donate breastmilk… but there’s also the option’a tryin’ ta get ye ta induce as well.” You looked up at her with your eyebrows raised.

“Yea? Because nursing two kids through the night wasn’t enough, right?” Kerrianne blushed as she sat down on the chair just as Chibs came into the rom. You smirked and looked up at him. “So, how do you feel about my boobs growing again?” He looked at you with his eyebrow raised and hesitated in the door way as Kerrianne covered her face in embarrassment.

“Yer no’ gettin’ implants, m’luv.”

“An’ I’m done.” Kerrianne said as she got up to leave the room. “I’ll pick up Kellan from school on m’way ‘ome. Just let the doc know wha’ ye decide… an’ don’ tell me, please!” You giggled and nodded as your husband came in and took her chair.

“Breast feeding, baby.” You said as he sat down and immediately began pulling at the pink clothing cover he had on. “I don’t want Megs on formula this young…”

“Ahh…” He sighed as he sat back in his chair. “’s’yer call, m’luv. Ye know I’m in luv wit’ yer tits when they’re all full an’ swollen…”

“Filip…” You warned as you looked at him through your lashes.

“I’m jus’ sayin’ luv. Layin’ the facts down on the table.” You rolled your eyes at him as you looked back down at Megan. “She would’a wanted it tha’ way.” You nodded your head at him but kept your eyes on your granddaughter.

“I know she would…” You looked up quickly as a tear fell from your eye and sighed. “I hate this.”

“I know, luv. I do too.” You forced yourself to try and stay calm so you didn’t upset Megan as you looked back at Chibs.

“They wanted to know if we planned on adopting Megan as our daughter or just being legal guardians as grandparents. Something about her birth certificate.” Chibs sighed as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Shit… I’ve no idea, lass.” You sighed and looked down at Megan.

“If we don’t and we can’t find that little fucking tool, he can come for her…”

“We’ll adopt.” Chibs instantly growled. “He’s no’ goin’ near tha’ child.” You nodded your head in agreement as you ‘shh’ed’ him softly.

“Stay calm, my love. We’ll adopt. She can call us mom an’ da… but she will always know the truth about Kelsi.” He nodded his head and glanced up as the doctor came in to check on Megan to see if her ‘kangaroo care’ was helping the way she hoped. “Make ‘er tits, bigga. I approve.” He laughed as he got up from his chair.

“Filip, I swear to God.” You mumbled as you brushed your hand over Megan’s back. Your husband chuckled as he kissed your forehead and headed toward the door.

“She wan’s big tits. ‘uge tits!” You sighed and rolled your eyes as Megan’s doctor just laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kellan, it’s time for bed.” You said as you strolled into your son’s room, grabbing articles of clothing to toss in the hamper with each step. You sighed as you glanced up at your child, who was ignoring you. “Hey! What did I say?”

“Just one more video, mom.” Your head whipped up at the sound of tears in his voice and your brow furrowed.

“What are you watching, honey?” You walked over to his bed and dropped the handful of clothes in his over flowing hamper on the way. Your son tilted his iPad toward you and pulled out the cord for his headphones. You tripped over nothing and caught yourself on the edge of his bed as Kelsi’s laugh filled the room.

“It’s her vlog.” He said softly as you took his tablet from him.

“Is that the shit she was always recording?” You asked as you laid down beside him and watched your daughter talking to her phone in your hot tub.

“Yea. She posted them on YouTube all the time. I never used to follow her…” You glanced over at your son as the video came to an end and nodded as you passed him back his tablet.

“Text me the link so I can show your dad. And don’t stay up too late, OK?” He nodded his head as he laid back down in his bed and started the next video. As quickly as you could, you grabbed your son’s laundry so he wouldn’t see you cry. You somehow managed to make it to the laundry room off the kitchen before you burst into tears and nearly collapsed on the floor. Sobs wracked your body as you curled into yourself in front of the dryer.

“Why?” You sobbed as you shook your head against the tile. “She’s just a baby.”

“Luv?” You forced yourself to roll onto your back and you could see your husband’s heart shatter in his brown eyes. “Fuck… I know m’luv. ’s’ok…”

“No…” You sobbed as you shook your head. He nodded at you as he came over and picked you up off the floor. You wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder, letting yourself really feel the loss of your daughter for the first time. As he laid you both down on your bed, you felt his own tears fall on your jaw as he shifted over you to find a comfortable spot.

“I want her back!” You sobbed as you fisted his shirt and kutte in your fists.

“I know, sweet’eart. Me too.” You nodded against his chest as he wrapped you in his arms and held you as tight as he could. You sobbed for hours, begging, screaming at, and pleading with God for him to bring Kelsi back. Your heart and soul ached as Chibs clung to you, trying to hold both of you together as best as he could as he let his own feelings finally come to the surface as well in the privacy of your bedroom.

“My baby…” You rasped repeatedly until you finally cried yourself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood in the NICU, staring at three and a half month old Megan as she wiggled and cooed like the happiest baby in the world. You couldn’t help but notice the similarity between her and her mother and no matter how much it broke your heart, some how the little girl in the crib in front of you was putting it back together one obliterated piece at a time. But you knew without a shadow of a doubt in your mind that something was wrong with Megan. And in this situation, you hated that you were right.

“She’s complete ‘earin’ loss in ‘er left ear.” Kerrianne said somberly with tears in her eyes. “Bu’ the good news is she’s only moderate loss in ‘er right. So tha’s somethin’.”

“Jesus Christ.” Chibs mumbled as he sat back in his chair.

“So she’s deaf?” Kellan asked curiously.

“Yea buddy, in one ear, she is.” You said as you picked up Megan from the crib with a smile. “But no matter what she is our family and she is still perfect just the way she is, right?” Your son nodded as you laid Megan on your chest so that her right ear was closer to your mouth so she’d be able to hear you better. “Aren’t you, sweet thing?”

“But… if she can’t hear you, why talk to her?” You looked up at your son with a smile.

“She can ‘ear a lit’l bit out’a ‘er right ear, bud.” Kerrianne said as she sat down next to her brother. “But she can still feel the vibrations in mum’s chest when she speaks… an’ she can see yer facial expressions if ye talk ta ‘er.” Your daughter smiled at Kellan and grabbed his hand. “But mum’s right. She’s still perfect, aye?”

“Aye.” He said in agreement as he looked up at Megan. “Can… can I hold her before we go home?” Your smile grew as you took a step over to him.

“Be gentle.” Chibs said as he sat up a little protectively. You gave him a quick glance to shut him up as you helped guide your granddaughter to Kellan’s chest. You crouched down in front of him and hummed a laugh at how awkward he looked as Kerrianne took a photo for you. 

“She is perfect.” He said softly as he let Megan hold onto his finger. You could see the wheels turning in his head as he moved his head to look at her left ear. He looked back at her right ear and nodded the slightest bit. “OK. We can go now.” You nodded your head as you carefully took Megan back as Chibs grabbed the carseat for you.

“Le’s get our girl ‘ome.” You looked up at him with tears in your eyes and a plethora of emotions in your heart.

[deeafrotailmisstress]

Saving the Orphan

((some ingame WoW rp with @datwolfmonraz that I decided to transcribe...which is my first time doing so if there are any mistakes in here well deal with it im tired xD))

It was a really long day and Jazali was barely keeping up. After having bailed Brugran out, Jazali treated the bruised orc to some meat (that she had to force into him after he requested beer...twice) After Brugran explained the situation as they walked through the streets, Jazali felt her heart sink for him. Well shit...it wasn’t like the little troll didn’t know that he had a history but to hear it from his own lips set it to a whole new perspective.

“O-oh…” Jazali stuttered slightly, not really sure what to say to the still-buzzed orc who wasn’t meeting her gaze “Dat...sound shitty..”

There was an awkward moment that passed between the two as Brugran continued to walk forward. Jazali blinked and hurried to catch up, not really wanting to finish off the conversation with that silence.

“B-but ya know life..still offer some pretteh neat stuff outside da heartache!” Jazali called out to the orc with a hopeful grin, tentatively placing a hand on his back as she added “Like...Like um…”

...Well shit, she wasn’t sure what orcs really upheld as higher standards of ‘neat’ and she didn’t want to risk offending poor Brugran. Still after a moment of stuttering, the little troll decided to speak from the heart and chirped sheepishly “Like..you!”

Brugran Beastrage deadpanned at Jaz but he started to laugh “I’m neat huh?”, the first real laugh all day as he shook his head at her.

“You’re alright Jaz.” He said wrapping his arm around her in a bro hug. Jaz let out a dorky snicker as she hugged the giant orc back. But as he did so he noticed the guards up ahead yelling at a young orc. Or rather the young orc was yelling at them.

“Hm?” He said looking ahead. It seemed as though the child was trying to run across the bridge and the guards wouldn’t let him.

“Shall we be nosy?” He said to Jaz, his hulking arm still around her shoulder as she gazed back with a blink before looking up at Brugran and nodding eagerly with a lopsided grin.

Brugran let her go and walked to the guards casually; once he got close enough, it was clear the orc was a boy and that he was very unhappy. The female guard wasn’t being tender either, rather brandishing her own tough love as she held the child by the shirt.

“You’ll die out there! Hyenas and lions would make quick work of you!” She barked at him but the boy wiggled relentlessly.

“I’d rather be out there then stay here!” He cried, tears starting to well in his eyes. The boy hit a spot Bru thought was long gone in his heart and he only watched for a moment before Jazali blinked at the loud scene in front of her and held out a hand as she called out “Ey holl’up der!”

She jogged over to the guard and tried to put on a friendly smile “No need fo’ all dis comotion, da kid be wid us! Right Bru?”

She turned to Brugran and nodded pointedly at the guard. He stared back, not sure what Jaz meant at first, but his quick wit caught up with him and he cleared his throat “Um ye-yes, my boss just...adopted him. As a yak handler for her caravan.”

He nodded to the kid to go along with them “He didn’t want to be at the orphanage anymore, but we told you to meet us inside the gates remember?”

The kid paused and just looked at them. Bru hoped they didn’t miss out on too much of the conversation to have this sound weird and even the guard at them in disbelief, but finally the kid nodded.

“Yea yea! I told her I don’t want to be there anymore and she told me I could go with them!” The orc child pointed at the two in question, but the guard simply deadpanned and looked back at Jaz. Honestly, the little troll didn’t blame these two guards being slightly suspicious of two random-ass strangers kidnapping a child.

But Jazali simply nodded along with Brugran and shrugged at the guard with an easy-going grin “Ey mon, I don’ make da rules, I just follow ‘em. Boss ladeh say she wanted da kid.”

As the Darkspear was trying to convince the guard, the little kid was looking between Jazali and Brugran hopefully with bating breath. The lady orc in armor however glared and scoffed “Oh yea? What’s the bosses name?” She turned her head to the little kid who blinked nervously.

However when he looked slightly to Bru, who was mouthing Zari’s name, the boy managed to say “..Za-rii?” and before the guard could notice Bru nodding quickly the kid smiled and chirped louder “Yea Zari!”

The guard of course knew who Zari was and looked at the two more deeply “Didn’t think she’d hire a kid..” And just when Jazali felt a drop of sweat slip down her forehead in a state of nervousness, the guard simply shrugged and tossed the boy at Brugran’s feet “Take better care of this one. He likes to run off.”

As the boy scrambled to his feet and slid to hide behind the two, Brugran nodded “Of course.”

Jazali finger-gunned the guard with a dimpled grin “Much obliged~” before she casually strolled up to the bridge in front of the exit. She paused in her walk and glanced back “C’mon den Bru an’...” ...her eyes widened in panic as she realised that she didn’t know his name. In a spur of the moment Jazali thought of the first Zandali word “Mem...ki...Lez go!” and she quickly speed-walked away before the guard could question the made up word.

The three hurriedly walked away until they finally stopped at the top of the bridge and away from the guard’s sight, Jazali finally letting out a long relieved breath.

Brugran glared slightly at the little troll “Okay can you tell me why..” he paused as the orc boy stared up with wide eyes at the massive orc with his big sword and armor, siding really close to him “...why..we decided to say Zari adopted him? She’s going to kill us.”

Jazali huffed and raised her arms up in a shrug “Well da kid was in trouble, what was I gonna do! Let da ladeh rough-house ‘im?” Halfway through trying to berate Jaz however, the kid poked Bru’s hand and looked deeply up at Jaz “Thank you for helping me..” and despite his gruff attitude, the words hit Bru’s heart.

The little troll blinked at the kid and her smile softened as she kneeled down and grinned “Well ju be very welcome mem’ki! Where be ya family, ya mama probably be worried eh?”Jaz’s welcoming smile didn’t help however, and the kid simply hung his head and kicked a rock.

“They died with honor fighting to get Orgrimmar back…” He said lowly, making both Jaz and Bru freeze. Bru’s long buried memories of his childhood had arisen slightly in sympathy for this child, while Jaz cringed and sheepishly scratched the back of her head as her smile melted.

“Well...now I feel like a dick.”

Bru rolled his eyes and placed a heavy hand gently on the boy’s head and tilted him to look up at him “Do not feel sorrow for them. They fought and died with honor. Stopping corruption and freeing our people is an honorable way to die. Feel pride. Not sadness.” He ruffled the boy’s hair and crossed his arms.

The young boy however was still worried about his current situation and looked back at Jaz with scared eyes “Don’t take me back to the orphanage! Please don’t take me back!”

Jazali looked back at the kid’s pleading eyes and felt her heartstrings get pulled slightly...maybe a lot. She knelt again down at the kid and placed a hand on his shoulder with a comforting smile “Okee den kid, we ain’ gonna take ya back..”

She stood up and gazed at Bru “Jus’ be a mattah now if we can keep ya…” before she sheepishly grinned at Bru and asked while clapping her hands together “ ...Can we?”

Brugran raised his brows and shifted away from the two pleading eyes while trying to get words out “I -er- well...Zari…” He coughed and finally said plainly “I am not the one to ask..but I’ll do my best to convince her..”

The kid smiled before moving closer to wrap his arms around Jaz’s neck and Bru felt his heart sink. It was like when he hugged Mai, his tauren mum, the first time. Jazali blinked and jolted slightly in shock..not really having dealt with a child in a while, she wasn’t used to this affection. Nonetheless, not one to leave a hug hanging, she grinned widely and hugged the child closer before picking him up and wrapping the boy’s legs around her hip. Deciding that this was the sweetest child she had met, the troll nodded determinedly “Okee I has made up my mind and Mem’ki bebe be stayin’ wid us.” The child clung on to Jaz and didn’t let go, although his big soulful dark eyes looked at Bru like a tiny lion cub and was making it harder for the orc to be hard on them.

He sighed and rubbed his temples “Okay. Fine. We keep him. But you’ll deal with Zari when the time comes!”

Jazali grinned triumphantly before she turned to the child “Ya got a name mem’ki?”

The child smiled “The matron calls me mem’ki but my name is Ukri.”

“Ukri huh..dat be an amazin’ name!” Jazali snickered as she booped his nose. She jutted a thumb at Brugran with a smirk “Da salty one der be Brugran” before she jutted a thumb at herself “An’ I be Jazali.”

The salty orc frowned irritably “I’m not salty. And it’s Brugran Beastrage.” making it a point to clarify his surname while Ukri ‘oo’-ed at the name and smiled.

Jazali snorted and rolled her eyes but didn’t comment as she looked back over her shoulder nervously however and grunted at Bru “...I gots a feelin’ we can’t go back to dat entrance widout lookin’ shady..”

“Yeah I think you’re right...Well let’s walk around to the front then.”

The boy darted his eyes between the two “So..I don’t have to go back?!”

Bru shook his head “No. We’ll make use of you.”

The boy slid from Jaz’s arms and bounced around the hulking orc as he walked while excitedly rambling “I can do whatever you want me to! I-I-I can clean your sword! Y-Your armor! Feed your steeds!” Bru just looked oddly down at the boy and back at Jaz as if to say ‘why did you let him come to me’, to which the tiny Darkspear simply grinned and winked at the helpless orc as she walked behind and observed; Bru however didn’t respond and they all walked along with the little boy until they came to a shallow point in a river.

“We can cross here easily. Then it’s not much further to Orgrimmar.” Bru grunted as he observed the depth of the river.

Jazali glanced at it as well before she shrugged with a grin “Fine by me!”, the little troll was always eager for any form of swimming. She lifted up her shirt and weapons in order to avoid them getting wet, when suddenly a mischievous sparkle lit up in her eyes.

Jazali grinned down at the kid “Ju know Ukri, it be pretteh deep for ju, ya oughta ride on Bru mon so he can carry ya!”

The orc in question whirled around “What?! No-I mean..”

The child just stared at the water nervously then up at Bru “One of the kids lost their sister to a crocolisk…”

Bru stammered and sighed, giving Jaz a death glare “I..will carry you so the crocolisks won’t eat you.” He growled deeply and before he could respond the boy sidled up to him and looked up eagerly to be picked up. He stared back and reluctantly picked the boy up and let him sit on the back of his neck. Ukri was thrilled.

Meanwhile Jaz snickered and looked up at the kid with a beam “View be nice der ain’ it Ukri!” The little troll strolled up beside her large orc friend and shrugged “See, it all worked out okee in da end!”

All three of them managed to walk through the front gates of Ogrimmar with no hassle and suspicion. Once Brugran made sure the coast was clear, he picked the boy and dropped him on his feet

“You walk from here” He said as he turned to Jaz “Okay so here’s the plan: you watch the kid and I’ll...talk to Zari about him..”

Jazali blinked and held Ukri’s hand before she asked “Ya sure..ya be fine askin’ Zari boss mon?” The little troll walked up ahead and grinned with a thumb towards herself “‘Cause ol’ Jaz can be persuasive when she wanna be!”

Brugran nodded to Jaz “I’ve known her longer...might be better if I talk to her first. Just take him to the shop.” Ukri held Jaz’s hand, worried that he’d not been accepted.

His eyes soulfully pleading with Bru “I don’t wanna go back..”

Bru however huffed “You’re not kid. Don’t worry.” and with that the orc went forward into the city, while Jazali grinned and waved at him “A’ight, good luck mon!”

The tiny Darkspear tugged at Ukri’s hand and nodded towards the streets “C’mon den Ukri, let’s go get us some sweets!”

~ to be continued ~