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#but im trying to give myself something a bit positive to think on as well as go into the next year on a higher note!
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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ruinlost · 9 months
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>Things I wish to do within the new year wirting wise update the google documents ,try and write more & work on my graphic skills and honestly just try and improve on my writing skills even if it ends up being a little bit
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inosukijiro · 29 days
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𝗖𝗨𝗗𝗗𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗚𝗜𝗬𝗨𝗨
𝙨𝙮𝙣. ━ its late at night and giyuu feels safe in your arms.
━ 𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. i just want to tuck him into bed so bad and give him lil forehead kisses. i won’t stop saying it I LOVE THIS MAN 🗣️🗣️.
━ 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨. AHH IM SORRYYY ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ PLS i went on vacation and got the covid,, it was SO bad i couldn’t function. buuuut moving on — i’ve said it before but ill say it again, thank you soo much for all the love and support ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ seriously, all the likes and reblogs have me very humble. i only ever write for myself so seeing you all enjoy my little stories make me so happy !!
━ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨. fluffy fluff. cuddles! probably v short, and v bad omg. gender-neutral reader. giyuu-centric. assumed but not mentioned, modern reader in kny. crochet mention ah! 0.9k words.
It always starts like this when Giyuu can’t think straight. His brain is fuzzy and worn out from the day. He often wonders how he gets into these positions, but he’s aware that you just know him too well. Probably because you do know him better than he knows himself.
He always thinks about the time before it became you and him. Where the thought itched at his brain constantly. He fantasized about it. It was so hard not to in every waking moment, he even wondered if it was going to be the death of him.
But here he was, nose buried in the crevice of your neck, laying onto you just enough that he didn’t crush you; but you’d never complain if he did. His free arm wrapped around your midsection just enough to allow his hand to grip your side. The pads of his fingers barely dig into your skin. You could probably feel the tension in his body, his hands are firm and rigid against you. Perhaps he’s just a bit nervous you’d disappear if he didn’t hold onto you tight enough. He might apologize for that, or the fact that his hair is definitely in your face.
Oh, but you might giggle. He can hear it. It’s soft and light. You're so amused by him sometimes. You might call him silly, or you might not say anything at all. You might give the sensitive part of his scalp a good scratch to shut him up. You might, and you always do. The feeling of your nails dig into his head makes him squeak. The way your fingers brush against the strands of his hair. It’s heavenly. He buries his head deeper because he’s so embarrassed. His face is hot, and after all this time he’s still so touched-starved. The smallest bit of your attention destroys any functioning brain cells he has left.
It’s just so good being in your arms. It’s just as good as when you're in his. It’s rare, but when that happens he loves the weight of you on top of him. It grounds him back down to earth. And you’re so cute. Somehow you always end up holding his hand, holding it close to your chest and nuzzling yourself against him more. He can’t get over that you want to be around him as much as he wants to be around you.
Giyuu lets out a sigh in contentment.
He’s so tired but he’s so excited. It’s not his fault that he views you as perfection and it’s also not his fault for taking advantage of the attention you desperately want to give him. You’re so generous, and Giyuu had been looking forward to this for days. His mission had been taking too long for his liking and he wondered if this was some sick torment the universe enjoyed toying at him with. All he wanted was to be at his estate, with you.
But you were such a night owl and that was something that Giyuu found out pretty quick. You spent more time awake in his presence than he did with you. Giyuu thinks, and he wouldn’t be wrong, that you try to savor as much time as you can with him. It’s true, you wouldn’t deny it. But you had sleeping problems long before being with Giyuu; though, it makes him feel guilty that he somehow makes it worse.
You were crocheting something, as always, trying to tire yourself out mentally. Your hands working on the project were raised just above his face, and your elbow could be found resting against his upper back. It was so soothing, the way he could feel you working your hook in and out of the stitches. And every so often a stray piece of yarn might’ve brushed against his cheek or nose, tickling him ever so slightly.
It felt nice. The way you had him caged in your arms. He felt so protected and Giyuu couldn’t remember the last time he felt so safe.
He doesn’t know what you’re making; but he’s sure whatever it is will be perfect.
One day he’d get you to sleep though. Yes, he’d get you to drift off so peacefully and do the same to bring you just as much comfort that you do for him. He’d play with your hair. He knows you’d like that. He can almost see it now. The cute noises you’d make and the content, sleepy sigh you’d give as he has you wrapped up in his arms.
He’s in and out of sleep now, drifting off for a few minutes at a time. But he really can’t stay awake anymore. Even though he really wants to. He feels you put your crochet things to the side. However, he barely registers the mumble under your breath when the metal hook makes a ‘TINK’ sound when it’s placed.
It wasn’t too loud but it was too loud for you. You apologize, softly whispering to him but honestly, Giyuu doesn’t know what for. It didn’t disturb him, though he doesn’t worry too much about it when you give a little kiss on his forehead.
He snuggles closer, if that is even possible at this point. He’s on auto pilot as you bring the covers up more over the both of you. You tuck the material right up near his chin and the only thought he has is how cruel it was to make him get up tomorrow morning. Maybe you give him a few more kisses. They’re delicate and you even give him a gentle squeeze as you bring your arms around him; a small ‘love you’ is drowsily whispered through your lips as you rest your head on his.
And Giyuu is out, just like that.
thank u for reading, luv u (◍•ᴗ•◍)
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nicksolemnlyswears · 1 year
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HAN LUE HEADCANONS PT. 3
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pairing: han lue x waitress!reader
word count: 8.7k
warnings: smut
notes: part 3 is finally here! so sorry for the delay. i wanna say thank you for all the love on part 1 and 2 as well as in the requests. this will be the last part of the waitress!reader headcanons for now. i left the ending open to give myself space to come back and add more if i'd like. i've been thinking of doing a mini series of han and that other person that comes up in the end (sorry im trying not to give anything away).
if you guys want me to expand on any part of the headcanons even if it's just a one liner let me know and maybe i can write a small drabble or oneshot on it.
i have my fingers crossed that you like how it turns out. i definitely have a favorite part of this particular part of the headcanons. again, thank you! enjoy!
ps. want to add a little warning that these headcanons might not be the most grammatically correct in terms of punctuation just because i don't go deep editing. it's a choice i make but if you've read my oneshots you know i am better than this lol.
PT.2
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-everyone has a side of the bed, you and han are not an exception. from the first moment you slept over at han's the side farthest from the door has been your side.
-on a random day the conversation comes up and you ask han why the side closest to the door is his side. he tells you it's in case an intruder were to break in (which is highly unlikely) you'd have time to escape.
-lowkey all this time you guessed he picked that side because it's right under the ac vent and he gets hot at night. so you call out his bullshit and he admits that's partly the reason, but what he said remains true, it's safer for him to be right by the door. ridiculous because there is no way you are going to run away and leave han to fend for himself.
-talking about apartments and sides of beds. when you moved out of your place you brought along a box or two of knick knacks that couldn't be stored in a warehouse. you placed them strategically around han’s (now both of yours) apartment.
-han admits he likes having a shared space with you. you gave it a different flare with your decorations. or simply, you took away the fact that it was a former bachelor pad.
-he likes coming home to you everyday. whenever you stay with mindy, for one reason or another, it feels lonely. something he'd never felt before. it's like somewhere along the way he got attached to you and now he's constantly seeking you out.
-one thing han detests though is the abundance of pillows on his bed. you don’t even use all of them! before going to bed you throw them by the chair on the corner of the room. he says it's pointless, you say it's decor.
-because you have a semi normal schedule now you have more time to visit han at his garage. you make sure to talk a bit with reiko and han's other friends but most of the time he steals you away from them.
-if the crew at han's garage is not careful they run the risk of finding you and han in compromising positions. you try to prevent han from getting carried away but it's hard when you want him just as much. you've had to apologize to twinkie and sean one too many times. poor boys can't even look you in the eyes after what they've witnessed.
-han is the type of guy to tell you to check something out under the hood of the car despite you warning him you don't know shit about cars. he couldn't care less, it's an excuse to see your ass bent over his car.
-you would be talking to him about how it all looks like a bunch of scrap metal when you feel him pressing up against your backside. you'd look over your shoulder and han would say 'everyone went out to grab a bite. thought i'd have mine right here, baby.'
-you would roll your eyes at him but would push up against him nonetheless. in record time he'd push down your pants and underwear and sink his cock into you. you hang on to whatever part of the car you can as han thrusts repeatedly into you. 'you look so fucking pretty, baby. should’ve gotten you like this sooner.’
-all this time you're moaning and calling out his name. until he suddenly slaps his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. with slow deep thrusts he'd lean down to whisper in your ear 'fuck, baby. they're back, but don't worry i'm almost done. just keep quiet for me.'
-han knows his way around your body so with precise touches to your clit and the angle of his thrusts he makes you cum quickly which prompts his orgasm as well. his near silent grunts are music to your ears.
-by the time sean comes looking for him han is bent besides you on the car pointing at something called a radiator. had he been there 5 seconds earlier he would've found han tucking himself into his jeans and you pulling up your pants.
-with han's help you get the restaurant running in eight months. it was a long eight months filled with work, day and night. the old diner was remodeled in its entirety which included kitchen, storage area, and dining space.
-you lovingly named the restaurant CATCH MY DRIFT. it's cheesy and punny but you love it. you found it necessary to pay homage to han in some way.
-the soft launch is successful thanks to your staff, some of which are the same people you worked with when it was a diner. you and han invited friends and other important people who would help spread the word about your little restaurant.
-mindy was in charge of the restaurants social media. she made it her mission to help you succeed and she did a wonderful job. she took beautiful pictures of both the restaurant and you. the socials began gaining a following pretty quickly thanks to her and her abilities.
-after the first official day of the restaurant being open and all the staff left, you prepared a table with candles and rose petals. there is one last person you had to serve for the night.
-han had been there with you through it all. he's been your support through every sleepless night and anxiety attack due to your fear of failing. he made last minute runs to get anything you might've forgotten and forced you on aimless drives around town to get your mind off things.
-han made your dream a reality. han wove himself seamlessly through all your hopes and dreams and became an integral part of them. now you can't see your life without him by your side.
-han returned to the restaurant under the impression he was going to pick you up. you might not work the night shift as a waitress anymore and you know how to drive now too, but he'll always pick you up and take you home. it gives him time to talk to you before you go through your night routine, head to bed and he heads out to the races or any other errand he has to run.
-when he enters he sees the romantic setting and you waiting for him in a beautiful red dress. you smiled softly at him and took his hand in yours.
"what's all this?" han asks, following you to the table where you pull his chair out for him.
"it's a thank you," you say, walking around the table to find your seat that faces him.
"you didn't have to, baby. you've been working all day," han shakes his head, although there's a grin plastered in his face. he appreciates what you've done.
you've told him countless times how much it means to you everything he's done. the moment he walked into your life he changed it all for the better.
"maybe i didn't, but i wanted to. all of this was possible because of you," you tell him, grabbing his hand that lays on the table, "will you let me start making it up to you?"
-it's come up on your late night conversations how you're guilty of han spending so much money on you. the last thing you want is to make him believe you're with him for the money. so you take each opportunity that presents itself to make it up to him.
"alright. what you got?" han asks.
you uncover the dinner plates to reveal a simple bacon burger with fries. no pickles. han's smile spreads even further touched by the gesture. it's been a long time since he's had one of these.
"i figured you missed your order considering i have been feeding you fancy dishes all these months," you chuckle, remembering all the tastings han had to go through. "i'll always have a stock of burgers and fries just for you. all you have to do is ask."
"have i told you i love you," han says, lacing your fingers together.
you hum quietly, pretending to think and say, "not today." you bring his hand up to your lips, kissing the back of it.
"i love you, baby," han repeats for the first time today but for the thousandth time since he said it first.
-there are times where han runs out of his snacks and doesn't have access to a store immediately. wether it's because he's at the races or driving around the country side or any other reason.
-when this happens he gets really antsy. he'll pick at loose threads, or at the skin around his fingers, he'll drum his fingers against something, or his leg will bounce. it's very noticeable that something is bothering him.
-it happens while on a trip around europe. han planned it as a vacation for the two of you for your second anniversary. he (you) had exhausted all his snacks and you were about an hour away from civilization. an idea suddenly pops into your head, han wants to have his hands and lips busy and you have the perfect thing.
-you take off your seatbelt and lean over the center consol. han doesn't question you until you kiss his cheek down to his neck.
"what're you doing, baby?" he murmurs, his eyes briefly looking at you before they return to the long stretch of pavement.
"making you crave something else," you whisper in his ear, biting his earlobe.
"get in my lap," he immediately responds. han's pretty tall so there's a huge gap between his chest and the steering wheel, leaving his lap free for you to sit on. 'if i fits i sits' style.
-you don't hesitate, since you've adopted han's risky behavior. once in his lap he catches his lips on yours. the focus he has to maintain on the road while kissing you is enough to make him forget his cravings.
-you eventually forget what lead you to this as you get lost in the kiss. it's not often you get to take the upper hand. taking advantage of the situation you slip your tongue inside han's mouth, massaging his tongue with yours.
-when he makes it to a gas station in the middle of nowhere he parks far away from the pump. you whine about having to walk the long distance to the convenience store.
"i need you now, baby," he grunts, grabbing the back of your neck to smash his lips against yours and showing you his true intentions.
"hannie this car is tiny, it'll be so uncomfortable," you whine against his lips.
"it's either the half a millon car or the public bathroom," he breathes, lifting your dress without waiting for your answer.
"i can make it work here," you huff, straddling him. you bump your head on the roof of the car but han quickly pulls you down flush against his covered cock.
"that's what i thought," he groans into your mouth as you grind against him.
-when you finish your risky endeavor you stumble out of the car and speed to the bathroom to clean yourself. han goes inside to grab snacks and pay for gas. he grabs snacks for you as well seeing that was what led him to run out in the first place. you made up for it in your own way though.
-in terms of your family, you haven't talked to them in about four years. once you spoke up about hating your college major and the fact you were gonna switch they presented you with a choice. continue the path your father paved for you or leave.
-you gave it a lot of thought. you finished your semester and everything. but in the end you decided you didn't want it. you hated your classes and was miserable. so you left. and your father told you not to come back unless you got your priorities straight.
-mindy took you in, let you live with her while you found a new place to live and a job. without your parents support you couldn't afford the culinary school you wanted to go to. with what little savings you had you got your apartment and soon found a job in the american themed diner.
-the diner was your saving grace. they let you stay on the overnight shifts. you didn't have a family to go to, you didn't exactly go to school during the day either, so it worked.
-you had other jobs along with the diner but none lasted and then han came along and it all changed for the better.
-you think about your family often. you remember your parents and sisters birthday and the anniversaries. when those days come along you keep yourself occupied.
-one night you and your staff are cleaning after a long shift and the door chimes as someone enters. you ignore it believing it's han that's come to give you company and take you home, but someone clearing their throat makes you look up.
-your mom stands there, she's still the same as the last day you saw her. her clothes are as expensive as ever, her shoes and bag matching perfectly.
"i thought i'd find you here," she speaks smoothly with her head held high as she assesses the restaurant.
"how did you find me?" you ask not giving her the pleasure to have your full attention as you finish wiping down tables.
"there's been buzz going around about a brand new restaurant. one of my friends came and saw you," she goes silent. "she was right, it's a nice place, is this all yours?"
"is there something you want?" you ask her, finally facing her. you didn't feel inclined to go on to explain your mysteriously wealthy boyfriend funded it.
"we need to talk," she tells you plainly as if she hasn't lost the right to speak to you.
"we're talking," you huff, ignoring the true meaning of her words.
"in private," your mom grits, grabbing hold of your arm much like when you were younger and refused to listen.
-to avoid a scene you know she's fully capable of making you guide her to your office. it's simply decorated with a desk and a few chairs scattered around. there's a white board on the wall where you write down your menu ideas and to do lists. there are also sticky notes on it that han has left behind throughout the months. some are sweet and encouraging and some are naughtier with innuendos and inside jokes.
"talk," you say when she stands in the middle of the room taking it all in.
"is that a way to treat your mother?" she scolds you.
"we haven't seen each other in four years and you suddenly come here. just say what you have to say," you angrily exclaim, crossing your arms over your chest.
"i never agreed with what your father did," she then reveals.
"and yet you didn't do a single thing about it. either way, he got his perfect daughter" you humorlessly laugh, referring to your sister who did everything your father expected of you. "is that why you're here? to suddenly apologize?"
"i want you to come back home," she responds.
you shake your head, "that's not happening. i have a life and i can't drop it just because you want me to. besides it's not like dad wants me there."
"he does, he's too stubborn to admit it, please come back," your mother pleads, forcefully grabbing your hand in hers.
"why now? i refuse to believe this is coming out of nowhere." you rip your hand from hers and a disappointed expression crosses her face.
"your dad is sick. the doctors don't think he has a lot of time," she gulps, turning her back to you.
you're quiet as you process her words, "i'll think about it. if you'll excuse me i have a restaurant to take care of."
you leave her behind and see her walk out of the restaurant soon after. your mind remains busy there after as you mull over her words.
-days go by of constantly thinking about it. han notices the moment he picks you up that night but wants to give you time to bring it up. except you don't.
-three days later he finds you in his bathroom, deep in your thoughts in his bathtub, the water a bright pink from a bathbomb you must've used.
-he gets in the tub with you. the water is still hot as he sinks in and sits behind you. you must've gotten in not long ago. instantly you relax against him. han wraps his arms around you, tracing figures against your stomach and thighs.
"rough week, baby?" he murmurs in your ear.
"mm yes, the delivery came late, not once but twice. burned my finger, cut my finger, burnt some food, feel like a loser," you list out, rubbing his thighs which are around you.
"it's one bad week, among a sea of other good ones," he reminds you, lacing his hands with yours.
"hope so or i'm retiring at the ripe age of twenty six," you smile, turning your head slightly to kiss his jaw.
"it's okay. i'll be your sugar daddy," he jokes with you. although he definitely would be your sugar daddy if you decide not to work another day in your life.
-theres a glass of wine by the bathtub that han notices. you only drink wine when something is troubling you. with gentle coaxing han convinces you to tell him what's been on your mind.
-it's he who convinces you to go and see your dad at least once. he put into perspective you might regret it in the future. you're not doing it for them, you're doing it for yourself.
-you contact your mom and tell her your decision. she invites you over for dinner. it'll be just the four of you. you didn't want to bring han in case all hell broke loose.
-as you get ready han helps you with the clasp of your high heels. you prop your foot in his knee, your dress riding up, revealing your black lacy underwear. he takes the opportunity to caress your leg from your thigh down to your ankle. he'd buckle the strap of the heels he gifted you that make your ass look great and then he'd kiss your knee.
-han would repeat the process on your other leg too. only that after you straighten up he'd pull you down to his lap to kiss you and try to convince you to a quicky. just this once you don't give in. you don't want to cast a bad impression by being late to see your family for the first time in four years.
-nervously you knock on the door. your mom answers and she welcomes you in. it's oddly strange to be back in this house, you feel out of place. you peep the wall where your parents measured you and your sister when you were growing up. the dent on the wall you caused using your bike inside. your childhood is present still.
-your mom failed to mention she didn't tell anyone you were coming as your sister is quick to stand "what is she doing here?"
"i invited her," your mom tell her.
your dad is quiet as you take a seat where you always sat when you lived there. there's an unbearable silence until he speaks, "can i ask why the sudden appearance?"
"mom told me about your situation," you tell him with a frown.
"what situation?" he prompts, looking at your mother.
"that your sick...although you look pretty healthy to me," you softly say, redirecting your gaze towards your mother.
"i lied yes, but i thought this was the only way to get you here," she shakily admits, secretly hoping you don't up and leave.
"mom, oh god," you sigh in relief. your shoulder no longer holding the weight of your father possibly dying.
"do you realize how fucked up that is?" your sister adds.
"it got her here!" your mom yells, making everyone go quiet.
-the rest of dinner goes by as normal as it can. your parent ask you about your new life and everything you've been doing. it was agonizing. you answer most of their question albeit reluctantly.
-the question you've been dreading comes up. 'are you dating anybody?' you tell them you're in a two year and a half relationship.
-you avoid saying he's the one that funded the restaurant. you owe everything to han but if you tell them it was him who put in the money they will probably discredit you and your abilities.
-your dad calls you over to his office to talk after dinner, your sister glares at you, she's upset you chose to leave, cause it means you turned your back to the whole family. she believes you're selfish because you 'forced' the family business onto her.
-you emptily apologize for coming home when he told you not. surprisingly he asks you about your new priorities and although they don't necessarily align with what he had in mind for you, he accepts them and asks you to be around more.
-more importantly he apologizes for what he did. he had a health scare recently and realize he wanted you by his side (it’s where your mom got the idea). after talking to him you leave. going back to talking to your family will be hard because for the longest time you suppressed it.
-han waits for you back home, your true home. he's watching tv, an old japanese movie from the 90s. you tell him all about your family dinner and how your mom lied but he was right. you would've regretted not going.
-feeling good about your night you give in to han's advances. throughout the night he couldn't shake off the sight of you in your pretty dress and heels. he doesn't ruin the illusion as he only takes off your panties. the dress and heels stay on as he fucks you, your legs pressed to your chest as he wants to be as deep and close to you as possible.
-while your parents want you back in their life you don't instantly go back, choosing to show them you got back on your feet without them. you have a new life.
-but once your moms birthday rolls around you don't feel the need to busy yourself, instead you pick up the phone and give her a call wishing her a 'happy birthday'.
-han eventually meets your family. your mom is instantly charmed by him so much so that by the end she has him calling her by her first name. he certainly made a great impression with the flowers and expensive earrings he picked out for her.
-your dad takes longer to come around but by the end of the night han has him wrapped around his pinky finger as well. your dad likes that he's a 'business man'. if only he knew how shady han really is.
-in just in a few hours they were able to see how much you and han care for each other. it's in the way han searches for you in the busy room. he looks out for you constantly in a non-possessive way. or the way you constantly reach out for him to hold his hand or wrap his arm around you.
-han is not one for big and elaborate love gestures. he believes in showing his love and appreciation everyday with smaller gestures. like restocking your skin care products when you're running low or leaving hand warmers on your coat pockets in the cold winters or buying take out of whatever food you're craving.
-he listens to you when you rant about your interests like the new season of Game of Thrones or about a new compilation that came out of your favorite artist. he'd make an effort to learn about it just so he can have an input in your conversation. han loves the way your eyes light up whenever he voices out an opinion, especially when it goes against yours.
-'friendly' debates are your thing as a couple. it's coincidental that in some minor things your opinions are different. like if the dress is 'black and blue' or 'gold and white'. you swear its black and blue but han insists it's not.
-the same goes for you, because you see all the effort han makes for you, you try and learn about cars and drifting and learn the names of whatever technique is popular. you learn about his favorite foods and favorite movies (which are mostly american and from the 90s) and tag along for the occasional race.
-han's favorite way of showing you his love is with colorful post-it notes. you'd often find them in your office in the restaurant, in the mirror you use to get ready for the day, the fridge door, on your kitchen counter along with your favorite chocolate bar. you'd even find them on the depths of your purse.
-funny thing is you've never caught him sticking them anywhere. so it's always a fun surprise.
'don't worry about lunch today. i'll stop by the restaurant with your favorite! -h'
'i love you, baby -h'
'roses are red, violets are blue, i love you, let’s go screw -h'
'cutie pie ;) -h'
'stop stealing my peanut crackers :( -h'
'you're both my favorite chef and my favorite meal -h'
-after two and a half years of dating han you finally get the opportunity to meet the toretto crew. they would be staying in japan for about a month in a mansion they rented out in the mountains.
-han is beyond excited that his friends are visiting. he constantly talks about them and has all these plans for when they arrive.
-you're nervous to say the least. this is his chosen family and he's been through so much with them. gisele was part of that family too and you feel the pressure of being compared to her once you meet them.
-you convince han to go meet up with then first and you'd join them later that night. you didn't want him to wait so long for you to finish work. besides in your mind it's better if he catches up with them before you get there. you wanted him to enjoy being with his friends without worrying about you.
-when the day finally comes you say goodbye to a sleepy han, go prep the restaurant, work your butt off for the day and once you clos the restaurant you go to mindy's house to get ready.
-you visit her to distract yourself and to have someone call you ridiculous for being afraid of meeting han's friends. it also helps as she distracts you with talk of her newish relationship.
-as you scramble through your toiletry bag looking for a hair tie, you push away your deodorant, tampons, dry shampoo. but you come back to the tampons realizing it's been over six weeks since your last cycle...
"mindy!"
"i know what i said was out of bounds but he called me a dramatic bitch!" mindy exclaims from her spot on the bed where she scrolls through instagram.
"tampons!" you yell, pulling them out of your bag.
"what about them?" she asks, looking at you over her phone.
"i haven’t used them.”
"you want me to give you a prize or something?" she mumbles, shooting you a strange look.
"no, mindy, no. i haven't gotten my period!' you begin pacing around the room with the box of tampons in your grasp.
mindy jumps from the bed and begins panicking as well, “oh, we'e going through this. we're having the pregnancy scare, how exciting! every pair of best friends have to go through this."
-mindy runs to the pharmacy on her block to get you a pregnancy test while you chug down two water bottles. she gets you one of each test they had. you had to pee but your nerves made it difficult. mindy forced you to chug down a soda too cause if you don’t pee wilingly you'll do it forcefully.
-through all this mess han calls you. he's been expecting you for the past hour. everyone is excited to meet you. he's spoken so much about you and your name has slipped past his lips a few times during the day. they can tell he's more than obsessed with you.
"hey baby, are you on your way?"
you’re dressed but your makeup is barely done. considering the stress you’re currently going through you definitely have to put on some makeup.
mindy motions to you to respond as she holds your phone on you hands because you were washing your hands free of pee.
"h-hey hannie, two more minutes and ill be on my way. mindy is going to take me," you scrunch your eyes at the stutter. you never stutter!
"okay, let me know when you're nearly here," he says unsure.
"mhm, bye," you say, motioning for mindy to hang up.
"girl that wasn't smooth. he knows something is up," she flat out tells you.
"you're not helping," you grumble.
-while the three minutes tick away mindy forces you to sit and have a chat. she asks if you’ve talked to han about a future together. marriage and kids and the whole deal. she asks what you want to do if the result comes back positive. she’s cool being the fun cool aunt but if you don’t want to go through with it she’ll be your confidant and drive you to the clinic.
-once your phone alarm goes off you walk into the bathroom alone. with a racing heart you turn on the phone to record yourself because be damned you don't have this reaction to show han later. baby or not.
-one test after another you turn them around with shaky hands and they all say the same thing, p o s i t i v e
-you sob not out of sadness but overwhelmed. this is so messy. you just got the restaurant running, you're not married and you are expecting a baby. the only thing that seems right is that it's the love of your life's baby.
-you step out the bathroom ten long minutes after. with one look mindy knows all she has to know. she helps you finish getting ready, puts drops in your eyes to reduce the redness and drives you over to han. on the way out you give yourself a look in the mirror but you look just the same. you're only a couple of weeks along it would be crazy to see a difference so soon but you already know everything is different.
-mindy drops you off after hyping you up all the way to your destination.
"thanks for bringing her," han says, helping you out the suv.
"anytime, she might have her license but there’s no way i’m letting her drive." she jokes at your expense.
"i’m not that bad a driver. you just don’t let me practice," you defend yourself.
-han grabs your hand and your bag and walks you to the front door, you can hear music and chatter from his friends. but he stops before going on.
-he asks if you’re okay. and you tell him you’re nervous, a half lie. han nods in understanding. ‘they’ll love you, baby.’
-he kisses your lips lightly before opening the door because he hasn’t seen you all day and he missed you. but of course roman pierce has to interrupt. he opens the door, interrupting their moment, ‘aye! she's here han is hogging her.’
-roman insists he knows japanese and tries greeting you using the language. you respond fully in japanese just to fuck with him, even adding the bow in your greeting. he bows back and just stares back with an empty smile. he did not understand a word you just said.
-han pushes past him and leads you to where everyone is gathered. he introduces you to everyone and you say 'hi, it's nice to finally meet all you. i've heard so much!'
roman stands besides han with a scowl and whispers. ‘man you could’ve told me she speaks english.’
-you are received with open arms as han introduces you to everyone that came along. dominic, letty, mia, brian, tej, roman, ramsey and all of their kids. it’s nice to be able to place faces to the names you’ve heard for the last two years.
-with you now present they ask all about how you and han met, eager to view your perspective. you respond as much as you can, laughing at the quirky remarks the others throw. they tease han like never before and he deserves it because he went MIA for three years.
-it's enough to make you forget momentarily about the pregnancy tests in your overnight bag. until letty offers you a beer, you pause but react quick enough where no one notices your hesitation. you'll just have to sneak your way around this one.
-han is a lot more reserved around the toretto crew than when he's around sean or twinkie. there's no big in-your-face make out sessions or random gropes of your ass. he respects the crew to much to subject them to that.
-doesn't mean he's not constantly attached to you. throughout the night han has his arm around your shoulders or his hand pressed on the small of your back. it helps a lot ease your nerves when facing the room of friendly strangers.
-eventually the subject of your restaurant comes up. you barely get the name out when ramsey squeals in excitement. turns out she's a big foodie with an instagram account and on her to-do list for japan is visiting your restaurant. she didn't know you were the same person until now. 'you're all welcome whenever you'd like. i'm there most of the week,' you tell the bunch.
-as the hours go by the crew starts turning in for the night. han pulls you up from the couch you were sitting on and guides you to a room.
"what did you think?" han asks as you both change into your pajamas.
"you were right they are all very welcoming. even if i have only known them for a few hours i see you guys have a very familial relationship."
you sit on the edge of the bed with your head hanging. the weight of your secret is crushing you down, your stomach has been swirling since you and han retreated to the bedroom.
han stands in front of you, tilting your head up to look at him. his eyes are soft as he rubs his thumb across your cheek. "what's wrong, baby?"
"'you love me, right?" your eyes fill with tears. suddenly feeling an unreasonable fear in the pit of your stomach. han has shown you more than enough times how much he loves you.
"more than anyone i have ever loved," he assures you. han is concerned. you've never been overly emotional and nothing has happened that he's aware off.
you hug him by the waist, burying your head on his stomach. he hugs you back, holding your head and running a hand up and down your back.
you pull back from his embrace, wiping your tears and some snot and manage to hiccup your news, 'hannie, i-i'm pregnant.'
han freezes momentarily. he thinks he heard you incorrectly but he couldn't have. your words were clear. leaning down in front of you so he's level with your- still not showing-belly he gasps, "we're having a baby?"
-one nod of yours causes a tsunami of questions. when did you find out? how? are you happy? how far along? boy or girl?
-han is over the moon. he is taken aback by just how happy he feels. he wants this but he thought it wouldn't happen for another year or two. the baby is more than welcome though.
-just earlier today he had been thinking about having kids with you as he watched the o'conner and toretto children run around.
-with both of your emotions running high han pulls you close and kisses you like never before. he takes you to bed and fucks you hard and deep and slow. him on top of you, never ceasing his attack on your lips. whenever he does it’s to tell you he loves you and how happy you’ve made him. it's like he wants to get you pregnant all over again.
-'wait, is that why you were switching our beers earlier?' han asks when you’re laying in bed, your head on his chest. you laugh at his question, having forgotten your attempts at not drinking alcohol.
-at around 4 am you and han sneak to the kitchen where you make a snack. you were starving and so was han. he sits you on the kitchen counter as you eat. he stands between your thighs speaking softly about future plans with your baby now included in them.
-'it's 4 am, don't you two sleep?' its tej who came downstairs for water. he shakes his head in disapproval at the two of you going back to his bedroom once he got his water.
-letty is the one to bring up the happiness that oozes out of you and han the following days, 'you two look awfully happy.'
"got some good news the other day," han softly drawls, "you want to tell them?"
you're sitting on his lap with his hand wrapped around your waist as you nod, "we're expecting a little lue."
-the crew is nearly as happy as the two of you. they congratulate the both of you. the girls whipping you away from han to ask all the questions and give you any advice you might need. the guys tease han about not wasting any time with you.
-han is surprised yet not because you two go at it like rabbits. he's surprised he didn't get you knocked up before then. your birth control must've given up.
-han is happy, he is content, he is satisfied. you're pregnant and having his baby. the crew visiting tokyo only amplified his joy. not even roman's teasing put a dent on him.
-as he's talking to dom, brian and tej a question comes up. is han going to ask you to marry him? his response is simple. no. or at least not yet. he doesn't want to ask you to marry him just because he knocked you up. when he asks he wants you to be sure that it's because he wants it too. and he does want it right now, he adores you. the baby only put his plans to propose on pause. he knows you're the one for him, he's known for a while and he's in no rush.
-his life has consisted about running and races and winning. but with you it's different. he feels like he can slow down and take things at his own leisure pace. make things right and give you everything you deserve.
-you've never called han daddy. it's not your kink and you don't think it's his either considering he hasn't asked you to call him that. now that you're expecting you have teasingly been calling him that. he finds it endearing to say the least.
he passes you something across the table? 'thanks daddy'
'can daddy do the dishes?'
'mommy has a craving for rocky road ice cream, do you think daddy will be good and get some for me baby?' you ask looking down at your belly.
-pregnancy is not kind to you at first. in the first trimester, everything you eat ends up flushed down the toilet. you're miserable. han sympathizes with you and helps you out as much as he can. holds your hair back, rubs your back, prepares your toothbrush, etc.
-because of all the puking you barely show at first until suddenly you popped and the nausea stopped in the second trimester. that's when you started noticing the pregnancy glow and felt cute enough to highlight your bump with your clothes.
-han is obsessed with it. each night when he goes to sleep he puts a hand on your bump and talks to the baby. whether you're asleep or not. he'll rub his hand on your stomach soothing any pain or nausea you might feel.
-han goes with you to each and every doctors appointment. he doesn't dare miss one. he loves when the doctor sets up the ultrasound and the baby starts shaping up and taking form as the weeks go by.
-han keeps a picture of an ultrasound in his car. along with one of you two. it's everything he loves all in one place.
-han is the first to feel the baby kick surprisingly. it's one of those nights he returned home from the races. he settled in bed and touched your growing belly. it's slick from all the oils and lotions you apply to try and prevent stretch marks. then he feels it a small 'thud' he thinks he imagines it, until it happens again.
"baby, wake up," he softly calls you, rousing you from sleep.
"what's wrong, hannie?" you mutter with your eyes still closed.
"the baby is kicking," he whispers, grabbing your hand and placing it where he felt the kick. his hand over yours.
"no, it's no- oh my god, it is," you shiver finding the sensation a bit strange at first. you spend the next hour just waiting to feel the baby kick again.
-when you tell your parents you're pregnant they become the most doting grandparents ever. they start buying everything and anything they can get their hands on. it's their first grandchild and most of their friends already have grandchildren. they want to be the best. plus, they feel like they owe it to you for what they did.
-although han's apartment is bigger than yours you don't believe it's big enough for a baby. you spend months apartment hunting until you find the perfect place. a three bedroom, two bathroom penthouse.
-you insisted it was too much space but han reassured you it's not. because he wants more children and he doesn't want to move again when you have another baby. your words were:
'give me a break hannie, i haven't even pushed the first out. let's see how it goes."
-with pregnancy a woman goes through many changes. besides your bump han's favorite is still your tits which have grown larger. he notices that change instantly, but with each gain there is a loss. the piercings had to go. you also tease han that now he'll have to share.
-not surprisingly pregnancy does a number on you and you get hornier than ever. it's like constantly ovulating and having to be pounded. which doesn't make sense cause you're already pregnant.
-it's not something han finds himself complaining about. it's fun to explore the changes your body is going through and how the sensations shift. like how your nipples get very sensitive in your pregnancy and how han takes advantage of that.
-you go on a journey of finding your self-love once more. the changes your body go through are out of your control, they are necessary to sustain the life inside of you and yet some made you insecure.
-the love you felt for your bump at first then made you insecure as it grew larger and stretch marks decorated it. you're not used to the sight. sure you've always had some faded ones on your thighs or your boobs but you've had them for so long you got used to them. these were long and red and they made you cry.
-for about a week you felt so insecure and looked for ways around being intimate with han because if you hate them surely he will too.
"lets get this off, baby," han says, pulling up your silky night dress up your thighs.
"no, no, let's keep it on," you laugh it off, holding hans hands with yours.
"alright, what's going on?" he asks, leaving his hands on your thighs and squeezing them lovingly.
"what do you mean?" you feign innocence.
"baby, don't think i haven't noticed you've been covering up and acting strange."
you avoid his gaze but he cups your cheek and returns it back to his. "i'm scared you won't like the way i look now," you mutter.
"are you joking? i've never liked the way you looked more than i do now," he speaks without any hesitation.
"really?" you peer up at him through your lashes.
"oh yeah. i think this is the sexiest you've ever looked. you're carrying my baby, how can i not like the body that's helping it grow and keeping it safe? And you know i love how much more responsive and sensitive you've gotten."
"oh god, you've made me even hornier," you say, pulling him down to kiss him.
"and you're glowing and look so cute waddling around the house," he teases, breaking the kiss.
"i do not waddle!" yes. you, in fact, do.
-han is always asking for the baby to kick, those lazy morning spent in bed, he'll have a hand on your belly talking to the it.
"come on kid, kick for daddy"
"let them be, it's not your bladder they're kicking"
he softly apologizes, knowing that as the day gets nearer the more trips to the bathroom you make.
-han dotes on you every second of every day, he barely leaves your side. you need something to drink or eat? he'll get it. your feet hurt? hell massage them. get cravings? he'll make a trip to the convenience store.
-as a couple you decided to keep the gender of the baby a surprise. which just led to the two of you to place bets on what's it gonna be. han swears you're hanging low (whatever that means) so you'll be having a boy and because of your morning sickness you think it's a girl.
-realistically both you and han are fine with either one. which is why you'll be trying for another one when the time comes. if it turns out the same gender you'll try for a third, but that's all! if all three turn out the same, tough luck!
-you go into a small crisis thinking you'll never be able to wear your short dresses and skirts. you're going to be a mom surely you'll have to dress like one? han assures you you can wear whatever you want because he knows you'll be a good mom, which is all that matters. plus, he likes seeing you wear that type of clothes.
-han invests in another car. one he never though of having. a toyota sienna le. it's a minivan. always one for cars, han details it, adds leather seat covers, a few cool features and an overly complicated car seat.
-as your due date nears you spend more and more time in bed with han, having sex obviously. you had read somewhere it was good for contractions and when you go into labor. plus, you just had these boosts of energy and it was the only way to get you to sleep.
-han eventually stops working for takashi. more people are at risk now if he continues. takashi lets him go without much trouble. han did help him expand his business a lot quicker had he done it by himself.
-when the time comes to give birth, han races to the hospital in his new minivan. finds it stressful cause the thing can't go as fast as his precious mazda. but he makes it to the hospital in record time.
-your doctor is waiting for you, they have a room prepared for you. han stays by your side through it all even as you curse him out through your pain. your labor is long and painful being a first time mom and all.
-at some point you start crying that you can't do it and han is there to wipe your tears away and tell you you can. it's holding his hand that you push and push. he doesn't whine or complain once, ignoring the insults you throw at him and the pain in his hand.
-then it happens, a cry resonates through the room and your hand stops squeezing his. the nurse places your baby on your chest. it has a full head of dark hair already.
"it's a girl," the nurse coo's.
-han didn't think he'd be able to love someone as much as he loves you. he's proven wrong as he softly touches his baby girls head. she's slimey and a little ugly (being a newborn and all) but this emotion swells his chest and tears well up in his eyes.
-you softly call out his name and he looks at you and just says, 'i love you.’
-to make up for your pain han gets you a push gift. it's a pretty golden necklace. it has a thin chain and a pendant with a little gem, behind the pendant the initial of your baby girls name is engraved. it has enough space to add when your family expands eventually.
-fatherhood suits him. he's patient and soft spoken and baby girl adores him. han is a night owl so he has no problem getting up at night to feed his baby girl or change her diaper.
-it takes time to adapt and start feeling like yourself again but han makes it easy for you. he loves you no matter what and does everything possible to make the transition a smoother one. you gave him everything he wanted and more.
-you left the restaurant in good hands while you rode out the last month of your pregnancy and the first two postpartum. returning to work felt good. you love baby girl but getting out the house without puke on your shoulder was necessary.
-han stays with her during the morning embracing being a stay at home dad. granted he slips out now and then to the races or to hang out at the garage. in fact, when baby girl is older he sets up an area just for her.
-sean and twinkie make fun of him and his minivan. to which han threatens to kick them out the garage they don't even have to pay for.
-when your baby girl is almost 1 year old, he pops the question. it was date night, your parents were taking care of the baby. he picked you up in his orange mazda that just so happened matched your nails. you were back to wearing your usual dresses and sparkly heels. although you were rebuilding the confidence you had two years ago.
he took you to dinner and then dessert and then you walked through a park. it's cherry blossom season you had to make the most of it. that's when he does it. under the rain of sakura flowers he asked his question.
"will you marry me, baby?" han asks, down in one knee.
"i thought you would never ask," you cry out, extending your hand so he can slip the ring on your finger.
"that's not an answer," he teases, before he slides the ring on your finger.
"yes! it's a yes!"
finally he puts the ring on your finger and it's just like you'd imagine it to be.
-you have your ceremony not even a year after. the toretto crew comes back to japan. even hans family (that you've only met like twice in four years) attends. your family and friends are invited as well. mindy is your maid of honor and your baby girl the ring bearer.
-it's on your honeymoon, that is really more like a family vacation because baby girl is with you, that you tell han a little secret.
'We're having another baby!'
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a/n:
if you’d like to scream at me or cry with me about the headcanons feel free to send me a message through the asks! i didn't think before making this blog a sideblog so i can't answer comments from this account but from my main.
lol in case you didn't catch that i'd like to make a mini series of sorts of han with his baby girl. i've got ideas floating around so if it's something you'd be interested in let me know!
also been thinking of making a brian o'connor one shot or something cause those baby blues are irresistible.
bye!
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chaostroberry1 · 3 months
Note
Hey how are you? I was wondering if you could have some headcanons for Hermes, Poseidon, Apollo and Loki with a goddess of sadness. She is the tallest of all the goddesses there, measuring almost three meters, she always has a melancholic aura and a quite sensitive, solitary and serious personality but she is kind to the most intimate people in her circle. She adores humanity and used to have a human husband before he tragically died. She is one of the strongest goddesses, when she cries she makes her sadness infect others, making them cry too and feel her pain (it is based on blue diamond from Steven Universe but I don't know if you know her. You don't need to add any more her if she is not to your taste). I'm sorry if it was a bit long, in advance please and thank you!
Oooh the pretty lady?? Im a bit familiar with her. I did my research on Google, I hope I didn't get anything wrong 😭 I'm also not sure if this is an "× reader" or not, so I'm very sorry. You may chat me again if it isn't what you asked for♥
°•Apollo+Hermes+Loki+Poseidon W a goddess of sadness!reader•°
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Loki
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- Loki and you are literally polar opposites. You both are so different, yet you both ended up being close to each other.
- he's very curious as to why you're so gloomy and emotional. But you are the goddess of sadness, you live up to your title. Literally.
- whenever he pulls pranks or Snickers at jokes, he's always looking towards you and pointing a finger at whoever was unlucky enough to be his target— thinking you'd instantly feel better.
- no, you actually got gloomier.
- but I think he'd take a liking to you. Opposites attract pretty well if I do say so myself. Atleast he has someone (not really) willing to listen to him.
- and about your height, I bet he'd use his floating ability to float towards your face, so he could talk to you more , and os that you don't have to bend down a little to hear him. And yes, he will ignore the fact that you are uncomfortable or not.
- he just yaps and talks about anything basically. Even if you are very quiet. you talk sometimes, only when you really feel like it.
- seeing how you can make people cry just because YOU are crying... its probably super amusing to him. Even if he's also there shedding tears.
-i bet he'd try to make you cry near the unbreakable ones like Thor, Poseidon, Odin, and so on. Just for the fun of it. A little experiment to make sure you're really that strong.
Apollo
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- this guy is the perfect ladies man. He knows how to entertain you, he knows how to stop your thoughts from going elsewhere (or maybe stopping you from thinking about something sad. Or else everyone will get affected with your sadness plague.)
- even with your tall height, he still knows how to take care of you. He will find ways. Like when you visit his place, he will make sure you have enough room in the pool of water. He'd also dismiss the nymphs who are staring at your tall figure.
- if y'all are in a relationship, then he's willing to make you atleast a little bit happy. Seeing you cry for the first time was so heartbreaking to see, until it started happening more often.
- well, he learned to embrace it. And now, whenever you cry, he'll just come up to you with his arms open. (Like the "where my hug at?" Typa pose.) and he'll approach you slowly like--
"darling, darling, no need to cry. Let's look to the bright side!"
-- before he makes a tiny lil ball of light in his hands w his photokinesis. If not, he himself would probably blind someone with his light, just to make his statement clear to you. Lmao 😭
- he actually really likes it when you have to bend down a little so you can hear him better. Gives him a better look at your neck, or your chest. And maybe cus he likes the position you're in. (Perv ass)
Hermes
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- he's already used to this. But I'm sure he'd find joy in watching your power do its thing to those around you. watching people—especially the most cold blooded gods—cry because of you, is incredible.
- he'd give you praises on your power, and how delightful it was to have such a goddess existing in the realm of divine beings. He'd serve you food and tea, ones that are extra big because of your size and height. Like I can imagine this man carrying a huge ass cup just for you to sip some tea or smth.
- I know you both gossip. He'd be whispering all the stuff he has to know on that day's tea, and you just quietly listen and softly giving your feedback. Y'all would do it in front of the other gods too lmao 😭😭
- your aura combined with his, it's a peculiar combo. But its certainly calming, with his personality and yours, it leaves a weird feeling in the room whenever you two are close.
- you both are pretty chill together tho.
- if you guys were in a relationship, he'd be so understanding and supportive of you. When you enter a battle, he'd probably be behind holding light sticks or something with that small smile he always has.
Poseidon
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- now him. He likes your presence. Cus it reminds him a bit of hades. Not the crying part, but more of the calm demeanor you have. You are very soft spoken and it doesn't annoy him.
- you and hades are his only exceptions. Your aura is comforting in a way that soothes his nerves. He's also seen and even felt the sadness you've carried on your shoulders all those years after you beloved died, as well as the burden of other things.
- so he can quite understand you. It must really be difficult dealing with such feelings he learned that after he felt the pain you buried deep into your body when you cried.
- you both are also a peculiar duo combo. I just know most of the gods there ship you both. Loki was the one making the scenerios and fanfics (he's such an ass)
- Poseidon acts like he doesn't care, or is irritated. But in all reality, he doesn't seem to mind. He likes you a lot.
- he's pretty quick to slice someone who makes you cry. He just uses the excuse that he doesn't want to shed tears and all because showing weakness is weak af. But in reality he actually just doesn't want anyone fuckin w you.
- like imagine him saying that showing such weak emotions as a god is pathetic, before seeing you and quickly saying "unless it's completely necessary".
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irishmammonagenda · 3 months
Note
Hii!! 🧚‍♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾
Really liked your last work, so here i am again
Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?
Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess
I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬
Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃‍♂️
HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊
anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨
no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁
for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:
i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.
i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better
#dontbottleupyouremotions
ANYWAY:
this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊
grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3
Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3
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It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)
Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.
So then how do the brothers react?
LUCIFER
Great. Two Mammons.
At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.
Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)
This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.
He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,
He is a demon, after all. ;)
MAMMON
Finally. Someone who cries more than him!
It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.
Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.
You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'
Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.
LEVIATHAN
He blanks.
One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.
You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.
Leviathan PANICKS.
Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.
Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.
You might make him start crying as well :(
SATAN
Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.
He's just glad you cry over positive things :)
His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)
Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.
He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.
He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)
ASMODEUS
He thinks you're adorable.
Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3
If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3
If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.
BEELZEBUB
He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.
Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.
Only in serious serious situations will he cry.
So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)
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Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?
He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.
He feels you with that.
Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.
Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.
BELPHEGOR
He laughs at you.
Point blank.
Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.
But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.
This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.
Which you do.
I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh
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iheartcake123 · 4 months
Note
hii hello!! I'm your new follower. I really like and enjoy your stories, especially with sweet home's fanfiction!! Eumm- if you don't mind, can you make another story about Kim Yeonghu x reader and others soldier x reader please?? I'm desperately want it, but it's kinda difficult to find more stories about them :(
anyway, have a good day and thank you <3
hello!! im so glad you enjoy my fics :) im so sorry this has taken so long😭 but i am working on more fics currently and will have some more up soon!! (hopefully lol) in the mean time here’s a jin-ho fic since i’ve never done one for him <33 let me know if you’d like a part two bc this was so fun to write hehe
Masterlist
bang jin-ho X f!reader for @kuebandungs
you had met jin-ho through your work with the platoon. you were very skilful in technology before everything happened and when the platoon needed help, you were first to give a hand.
you worked along side jin-ho and discovered he was quiet, he kept to himself mostly and only really spoke with those he was close to. which wasn’t many.
there’d be times where he had no choice but to converse with you. after all, you would help the platoon members whenever they asked.
this time was like no other.
“did you try disconnecting and reconnecting it?” you asked jin-ho and he sighed in response
“that was the first thing i did” he told you and you nodded.
“well it looks like we have to take it apart” you pulled a seat up and was about to sit next to him.
“don’t worry, i can do it myself” he stopped you before you sat down.
“right..” you awkwardly cleared your throat and moved the chair back the original position “well if you do need a hand, give me a shout”
you then slowly walked away, to head back to your room. as you made your way back sergeant tak was in the hallway and he joined you.
“y/n, how are things going? i heard you’re helping the platoon more often” he said accompanying you.
“yes sir, it’s mainly just with little things here and there though” you answered with a smile.
“how would you feel if i got someone to start training you, that way- you can join the platoon and help with excursions? you’d basically be a second to jin-ho”
“oh um i appreciate the offer sir but i like where i am at the moment. i don’t mind helping the platoon here and there but just the thought of helping with excursions is a bit daunting”
“i can’t say im not a little disappointed y/n but i understand, just think about it and if you do change your mind. i’ll be more than happy to sort something for you”
you sent sergeant tak a small smile with a nod before rushing back to your room.
you couldn’t possibly help the crow platoon.
right?
before you knew it, you were in front of sergeant tak again. this time, you were agreeing to his offer.
you didn’t know why you changed your mind. but you did.
“im glad you’re joining us y/n. bang jin-ho! come in!” sergeant tak had yelled that last part and in came jin-ho who saluted the sergeant before standing straight.
“from now on, you’ll follow jin-ho’ lead. he will train you and will get you prepared for what’s ahead. once he’s happy that you can protect yourself, then you’ll start by going on excursions. is that okay?” sergeant tak told you and you nodded.
“yes sir” you voice was quieter than expected.
“good. you may both leave now”
with a nod you followed jin-ho out the room.
“uh so what do we do first?” you smiled at jin-ho and he let out a sigh.
“look y/n, i don’t know what made you want to join the platoon. i didn’t think you would but here we are. so, we will train whenever we get a free chance. follow me” jin-ho got straight to the point and you followed him.
he took you outside, it was chilly and the dark grey clouds made everything feel especially gloomy.
“you need to run from here to the fence and back 100 times” he pointed to the fence in the distance.
you let out a laugh. he surely had to be joking, right? however, when he didn’t say anything further, it suddenly set in. he wasn’t joking.
“seriously?” you questioned and he just nodded.
with a gulp you started to run. as you did each lap, you felt your legs burn as you mentally pushed yourself to continue. no matter how much your body told you to stop, you were determined to complete the 100 laps. the trick was making sure your pace was consistent and you blocked out any distractions.
by the time you had completed it, the sun was beginning to set and you felt like throwing up. you hadn’t stopped for a water break and you wanted to just collapse. a part of you was also pissed off.
why did jin-ho throw you in the deep end by making you do 100 laps? was he trying to test you? see if you’d quit and change your mind about the whole joining the platoon? well if he was, you weren’t going to give in and give up so soon.
“happy?” you voice was harsh as you tried to catch your breath while making your way back into the stadium.
jin-ho stared at you as you walked away. you desperately wanted to just fall onto the floor and curl into a ball but you weren’t going to do that in front of him. instead, you dragged yourself through the halls back to your room where you immediately collapsed onto your bed and chugged down a bunch of water.
“asshole” you cursed throwing your bottle across your room.
not shortly after, there was a soft knock at your door and you huffed before opening it.
“what do you want?” you immediately questioned after seeing jin-ho stood there.
he had his hands on his hips before he reached his hand out.
you wearily shook his hand.
“welcome to the platoon” he nodded his head and you raised your eyebrow “i’ll be honest i didn’t think you’d finish those laps but you proved me wrong. the real training starts tomorrow”
jin-ho then let go of your hand before promptly leaving.
you couldn’t understand him.
________________________________________________________
over the next few weeks you trained with jin-ho on various things like fighting, self defense, stealth and how to use a gun. this was all so that you could start going on expeditions with the platoon when they went.
it would’ve been a lie if you said it was easy. most days would end with you laying in bed with all your limbs aching but it was slowly getting easier. you had started to see a change in your self. the way you carried yourself was a lot more confident and platoon members started to respect you more. in fact, you’d become close with some of them. more specifically seok-chan.
he was just a really kind person and he helped you a lot. and while jin-ho wasn’t horrible, he was surprisingly very strict and you’d only converse with him when he was giving you orders. there was a tension between the two of you and you couldn’t quite understand it.
the day started like no other, you woke up early, got changed and headed to the training area. you started with a warm up and soon decided to do some boxing. there was a punching bag in the corner of the room so you wrapped your fists up before jabbing the bag.
one. two. one. two.
you had a rhythm going.
“balance your weight. you’re all over the place” the sudden sound of jin-ho’ voice shocked you and you rolled your eyes before doing what he told you.
jin-ho folded his arms as he leaned on the door, watching you train.
you felt yourself begin to heat up. you hated when he watched you because he always managed to find flaws in whatever you were doing.
you really did try your best to continue but you just couldn’t. you brought your hands to your side and rested one on your hip as you turned to jin-ho.
“i don’t understand what the problem is? i just want to train in peace without the pressure of you watching. you look at me as if everything i do is wrong. so please show me if you think you can do better!” you snapped at him.
jin-ho smirked slightly as he stood straight.
“okay, i won’t watch you” he answered and you breathed a sigh of relief.
“thank you-“ you began but he cut you off.
“i’ll fight you” he started to wrap him hands
your jaw dropped.
“what?” you gulped.
“let’s spar, seok-chan says you’ve improved and since you don’t want me watching. maybe fighting and sparring with you will be better. and there’s no rules with this, punching and kicking are allowed”
he finally finished wrapping his hands.
you couldn’t back down so you both got into position. you held your hands up in front of you to defend yourself and at the ready to punch.
a couple of minutes into it and you found yourself with a bloodied lip. you could taste the blood in your mouth but you refused to let him win. with one swift movement you made contact with his chin and he stumbled backwards slightly. after he regained his balance he lifted his leg and you felt it hit your stomach which caused you to fall on your back.
you winced in pain as you glared at jin-ho. you attempted to get up but he then managed to get you into a head lock. his arms tightened around you and although you tried breaking free, you couldn’t. plus it was getting hard to breath so, a few seconds later and you found yourself tapping out.
jin-ho immediately let go and you let out a harsh cough as you caught your breath. you remained on the floor with your hand on your neck slowly going back to normal as jin-ho stood above you.
when you looked up, he had his hand out to help you up but you ignored him.
you didn’t need his help to get up. jin-ho let out a chuckle as he watched you get up. you avoided his gaze as you turned your back on him, you brought your fingers up to your busted lip and winced in pain as you saw your finger covered in blood now too.
“your lips bleeding pretty bad, let me have a look” jin-ho’ eyebrows furrowed in concern and he reached an arm out to your shoulder.
“leave me alone” you instantly brushed him off and harshly moved away from him “i don’t need or want your help”
after saying those words you left the training room, ignoring jin-ho calling out to stop you.
you were now sat in front of seok-chan in the infirmary, he was cleaning your lip and trying to make you feel better.
“he only pushes you so hard because he wants what’s best for you. im sure he can see the effort you’re putting in and appreciates it” seok-chan said as his eyes remained focused on your lip.
“yeah, well it sure doesn’t feel like it. it seems quite the opposite- he hates me and i don’t know why” your voice came out in a croak as you held back tears.
why didn’t jin-ho like you? and why was he always so hard on you?
“trust me y/n, i wouldn’t lie to you” seok-chan finished up with your lip and you hopped of the table.
“i know…thank you for tending to my lip. i better get back to training or something” you blinked back tears and left to go back to your room.
meanwhile, seok-chan had gone to find jin-ho.
“jin-ho!” he called out to him and he hummed in response “you really bust y/n’ lip up pretty good. do you think maybe next time go a bit easy on her? she’s been finding it a bit tough”
“what do you mean? she did well. considering when we began she couldn’t even throw a punch” jin-ho answered.
“come on dude, she was almost in tears when i saw her. you’ve been so tough on her and she thinks you hate her. i’m not trying to tell you how to do your job but just take it a bit easier on her”
“does she really think that i hate her? i know i’ve been tough on her but i don’t hate her. seok-chan do you know where she is?”
“i don’t know, i think she’s gone back to her room or the training area”
jin-ho felt really bad. did you really think he hated you? he searched the training areas firstly but after seeing you weren’t there, he headed over to your room.
he hands banged on your door urgently and when you opened the door your eyes went wide with shock.
why was jin-ho here? and why was he knocking like a mad man?
he didn’t say anything and entered your room, closing the door behind him.
“jin-ho. why are you-“ you tried to ask him but he’d stopppef you mid sentence.
“do you think i hate you?” he blurted out and you were stunned. he was never so impulsive or erratic, usually he was very serious, calm and collected when he spoke.
this was different.
“who told you that?”
“y/n is it true? you think i hate you?”
you meekly nodded looking at the floor.
“why do you think that?” he stared at you so intently and your heart beat quickened as you briefly looked up and locked eyes with him.
“you’re just always so strict and you never say anything nice. i know im crap at this whole platoon stuff but im still learning and i think you forget that” you said honestly.
“i can assure you that i do not hate you, not even close. y/n you’re doing so well with training and i push you because i know you’re capable”
“but- you’re always so cold towards me and you barely talk to me..”
his eyes softened as he saw how upset you were and it was your first time seeing him like this. he actually had emotions.
“i promise you, i do not hate you. tell me how can i prove it to you” suddenly he brought his one hand up to cup your face.
you were in awe.
this was a whole new jin-ho.
“tell me y/n” his voice was soft and you admired jin-ho’ warm touch.
he waited for you answer.
“tell me”
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a-boca-do-inferno · 10 months
Text
beija minha boca até me matar (tony montana x reader) [request]
summary: Tony is stressed and you are tired.
warnings: angst, swearing, abuse and sort of fluff.
words: 0.8k
notes: this is small and very anemic plot wise, so im sorry for that. loosely based on doce vampiro by rita lee.
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Sometimes you wondered if your love would stop enduring at some point. If no matter how much you wanted to be with him, someday your body and soul would finally give in to the exhaustion, because that’s how you felt. Exhausted. God, what time was it? It felt so long since you’ve last rested. Insomnia was a big thing these days with all the chaos around you, the gang fights, the power struggles; you understood nothing of it, but at times you wish you did. Maybe you’d be able to help Tony in the slightest, offer him some comfort. And you tried, oh, did you try. But it was just to no avail.
He was as restless as you, although he tried to disguise it as his customary anger towards the world. You could sense it whenever he was close, when his hand would tremble just a little as he gulped down a glass of whisky in one go. When the crease between his brows would become only a little bit more noticeable. When he’d only swear once, as though not even those silly words were enough to somehow soothe him anymore. You did your best to try and give him some solace, but while your kisses pleased his face, his arms would fall coldly frigid at his sides. He wasn’t in the moment, and that was so uncharacteristic of him.  
You felt helpless at those times, often choosing to leave him in his office and go to your bed, crying in silence until the sun was up again. He would spend his nights away from your room, causing you to entertain thoughts maybe about you actually being the problem, not his issues in the drug business. You never dared touch anything other than alcohol and that was perhaps something that lingered in the back of his mind, still. Would he think you’d eventually turn on him, sell him out to the police? Sometimes he’d call you “good Samaritan”, because in his own words, “you’re too clean, too good, too uptight. What the fuck are you doing with me?”, and wasn’t that the million-dollar question?  
What the fuck, indeed? 
“You rely too much on people, Manny. That’s your fucking mistake”, comes his loud, deep voice from the corridor. You close your eyes in contempt, not really wanting to listen to one of his lectures again. God bless Manny for being able to do it more than you. “I say, fuck people. I can do anything by myself.” 
“Because it’s been working so well so far”, you let it slip out, causing him to give you a death glare. Tony didn’t scare you easily, contrary to popular belief, but he could become quite scary when he felt like it. This was one of those times. 
He huffs, walking towards you slowly, “what did you just say, princess? You think you can disrespect me in my own fucking house, drinking my own fucking whisky that I bought? Is that it?”
He’s agitated, and you unconsciously flinch when he sits beside you, like a lion cornering its prey. You can’t help but shake your head, looking away from his hard eyes. “You know I don’t like when you talk to me like that”, you say softly, albeit your words carry weight to them. You don’t say them to him very often, surprisingly, but when you do… He better watch his reply. Tony knows that.
So, he does. “Mi amor”, he coos immediately, his frown fading in a second when he seems to come to his senses. You are practically crawling on the couch, in fetal position, guarding yourself from his touch, and he notices this. Tony extends his rough hand and rubs your thigh gently, nuzzling your neck, trying to make you more at ease in his presence. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m fucking stupid, I’m a fucking jerk. I’m sorry”, he speaks quietly, but firmly, his deep voice vibrating on your skin.
Then, there comes your answer. No matter how many times he let stress get the best of him, and no matter how many of his motivations you simply did not understand: Tony was Tony, your Tony, and he would always be. So, you let yourself be wrapped in his big arms once more in silence, simply enjoying his warmth. He felt like home and he was home, as inhabitable as he could become at given times. It was like loving a vampire. Having your life be sucked out of you everyday, yet always craving for more. A delicious poison.
And somehow, all exhaustion dissipated when he got closer to you, serving like a long nap after a tough day. It seemed like you were the complement to one another. Maybe that was the reason you were still here, after all.
Enduring.
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enduringmoth · 11 months
Text
thoughts on marvin's abuse, care's existence and paul's transness
taking a break from my usual bg3 posting to talk a little bit about my newer hyperfixation through the lens of queer allegory
necessary author's note: i am an afab transmasculine nonbinary person. obviously, while i do believe my transness does lend my opinion authenticity, at the same time, being trans myself does not mean i can't be transphobic -- so if any of the contents of this post set off alarm bells, please tell me.
trigger & content warnings: child abuse, kidnapping, torture, general petscop badness. obvious spoilers for petscop in its entirety, as well as references to the recent youtube deepdive by nexpo.
TL;DR -- perpetuating the idea that someone can force someone else to be a different gender than they are is harmful to trans people. however, all things involve considerable nuance. to pretend that marvin's actions could not have influenced paul's sense of self in the slightest discredits paul's lived experiences, and i believe a more trauma-informed dialogue about paul could be worth exploring as a community.
my preferred theory explaining petscop is that marvin tried to make care more like lina through abuse and "failed". after this, care would eventually end up in lina's home, and transition to paul.
(simply to make all of this less confusing, i'm going to call paul pretransition "care", though i will avoid pronouns. this is not me trying to invalidate paul, it's just so i don't have to keep saying "paul before he transitioned" or similar phrases.)
it is not a result of marvin's "failure" that care transitioned to paul. but i do believe there is a link between paul's perceptions of self and the trauma he endured pretransition -- and discussing these things gives us a deeper understanding of paul and his history.
obviously there is no "canon" answer to petscop. but im seeing this theory discussed a lot within the tags, and i personally agree with it -- i just feel some of those who are saying we cannot consider marvin's actions are not necessarily accurate, either.
what i am positing is that while marvin certainly did not make paul trans and i would never claim that he did, we understand that marvin's abuse of care -- his cruelty towards care, his warping of care's perception of appearance and self-worth -- is certainly a factor in how paul must see himself.
marvin's treatment of care was poor enough that paul struggles to recall that time of his life. he thinks they are different people -- and in a way, they certainly are (and i've seen DID theories for them which i also enjoy because of this) -- and has clearly repressed what it meant to be marvin's child.
marvin locked care in a basement for six months. that is no small amount of time, and it likely had no small amount of affect on paul. we can assume based on the implications of some school scenes that marvin was trying to convince care to be more like lina during this time. care escaped, and returned home -- though eventually, we know from belle's dialogue that paul would find his way to lina.
"do you remember the day you were born?"
paul's "birth" occurred after marvin's abuse, and though it was not a result of it, there is something almost poetic about following the thread of paul's life from care to his authentic self that plays as a foil to the heinous rebirthing practiced by marvin and rainer.
contrasted with what happened to belle (and seemingly others), paul chose (a form of) rebirth -- transition. marvin tried to make lina be reborn through care. instead, care resisted -- and he would eventually become paul, and that strikes me as so narratively compelling. it's not to spite marvin and please don't think i'm saying that, as care was naturally always paul -- it is simply self-discovery at its most raw and beautiful, and i love it.
the above is why i love petscop as a queer allegory. taking ownership of one's future and selfhood, even when others are trying to tell you who to be.
and that's why i think saying marvin made his afab child transition in rejection of martin's quest for lina -- or that marvin tried to make his amab child transition to care/lina, as nexpo posited -- is so wrong, and harmful.
yet, paul's trauma is real. it happened. and it's a part of him that should be able to be discussed for what it is.
as someone with extensive trauma history, i can tell you that my gender expression and personal identity are in some way connected to pieces of trauma, because those pieces are part of me. i am not trans because of my trauma, but my gender and my trauma are parts of me at the same time -- i am not each of my pieces, but a sum of my whole.
the point i'm trying to make here is that while i think nexpo genuinely missed the mark here with this whole "care never existed, marvin tried to make paul a girl" thing, i do think there needs to be room for a trauma-informed discussion around paul.
i hope that all made sense. if any of this is harmful/transphobic, please let me know. i genuinely love this game and i think it's so fascinating to discuss. /gen
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cinnamonest · 5 months
Note
Hiii I absolutely adore your work!! You're legit my favorite fic writer, every word you put down is gospel amen 🙏 If youre still doing requests, maybe what about albedo x tall reader? I love how you write him so much, im 6ft tall myself and am fiending for yan stuff for tall girls since tall women are always written to be strong and dominant which kills me inside since im the total opposite...
Luckily he's not really insecure about it or anything, not like one of those people who gets all neurotic and has a complex. It's just. You know. He wouldn't mind getting a bit taller, is all. But if he ever starts getting too hung up over it, the feeling then loops back to feeling embarrassed over being insecure over something like that, so he tries to just ignore any feelings on it entirely.
He does handle your greater stature than himself better than some other, more insecure short boys, though. So long as you don’t bring the matter up, he won’t either. He genuinely doesn’t care about having others poke fun at him, which some of the knights he works with certainly do, given that it’s not everyday you see a guy with a girlfriend so much taller than himself, but he has very little regard for the opinions of those he doesn’t care much about and is thus largely unaffected.
He does, however, care what you think. He’s the sort of person who buries any insecurities he may have and ensures he never brings them up or makes them known, but he does worry just a bit that you wish he was taller, that it compromises the respect you have for him, or worse, that you’ll get wandering eyes… he feels sick to his stomach if he sees you talking to some tall guy, even more so than the sickness he already feels seeing you talk to anyone.
And even if you tease him about the matter, he handles that very well, albeit with a twitching to his smile that you may notice if you look carefully. He wants to give off the impression that it doesn’t bother him, even if it kinda does, just a little.
This also ends up accelerating his obsessive tendencies, the insecurity gets to him and he acts more impulsively and more recklessly than he would normally, and you’ll find that the situation between you escalates much faster to the point of captivity.
Regardless, you have no need to worry. The man does not have a submissive bone in his body… unnaturally so, even.
Like you know how, as a general rule, most men tend to lean towards dominant tendencies and aren’t really submissive per se, but are still gonna salivate and get into it if you “take charge”?
He’s not even like that. The notion of you having any sort of control or autonomy in the matter sort of… bothers him. He’s too obsessively fixated on control, and uses sex as a catharsis by which having control and seeing that control actively exerted on you brings him satisfaction and comfort and assurance, so any bit of said control being taken away gets under his skin fast.
Enthusiasm would be a pleasant surprise, sure, he likes you participating, but any time you attempt to actively control the steps and movement, or gods forbid try to push him to do or move in the way you want, he gets a little… twitchy. He’s not one to vocalize his thoughts too much, but you notice pretty much immediately, you can tell it irks him that you’re moving too much on your own, based on the firm grabs to your sides and wrists and efforts to quietly contort your body the way he wants you to, and a heavy huff of frustration when you fail to comply or try to go back to the position you were in before. It feels wrong, you should be bending and moving to the way his hands and words guide you, and failure to abide by it only strengthens the intensity of the impulse to force you under it by any means necessary.
Should you be a particularly bratty type, you can use this to your advantage by intentionally continuously breaking out of his hold or pushing back against the way he tries to push you into certain positions and outright disobeying… but that’s one of those “playing with fire” type of behaviors, and it stops being so amusing when he’s got you on your knees, held up by a fistful of hair, looming over you with an ominous, icy stare… and you may find yourself regretting your defiance, and up may be the only direction you get to look at him from now on.
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danibeanie · 7 months
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Cancer mars post 🤍
(Also moon-mars aspects!)
-I really feel like this placement resonates the most with me when it comes to my natal chart. The funny thing is that it makes NO aspects with any other planets.
-I’ve heard somewhere that a planet that doesn’t make any aspects with other planets is important because it’s just itself with no other influences.
-wherever you have this placement with definitely influence that house x10. I feel like planets in their fall or detriment just impact your whole chart in general.
Positives 🩵
-your intuition is literally amped 100 by this placement. someone can be talking to me in a different tone than usual and I can just sense there’s something wrong and they’re like HOW DID U KNOW??😭
-emotions are strong and it’s because it’s influence links with the moon. we know that the moon is who we are deep within, our hidden feelings. anything I do makes me want to work even HARDER because it’s all sooo personal to me 🥲
-strong empathy with this placement you naturally put yourself into others people shoes, want to take care of others and it just comes by instinct.
-people many call you super nice and your just talking LMAO. I have this placement in my 3rd house which is ruled by communication so it’s just natural for me to embody the placement when I’m talk.
-ex you can have this in the 7th house and your just super giving into any relationships kinda intense lol, 10th house people at work may see you as mother😋 (kidding) a nurturing person.
-a lot of passion, many people forget that cancer mars is a CARDINAL sign which means it’s easy for these people to fall into a leader position. we are go getters and can be a bit competitive.
Negatives🩶
-any conflict that we have is literally the end of the world. It’s feels like impending doom when I’m mad at someone because the only way I can control this is by crying 😭
- we hold grudges *sigh* , no but really it will take me so long to forgive someone and it’s hard to let go of that bitterness. Its just that we are so considerate so when someone does something we would never do it’s hard to let go of that situation.
-mood swings are there and other people can easily get affected by this as well. we can be fine and dandy then we think about something that hurt us from 5 months ago and then we get passive.
^im very self aware of this and I try not to let it happen and when it does I isolate myself
-most of our anger is directed towards family???😭 idk if it’s just me but my family tends to see the ugly side of this placement. no one’s ever seen me SUPER-mad except for my parents.
-does anyone else get HORRIBLE,UNBEARABLE periods?!? I feel like no one talks about this.
-AVOID CONFRONTATION like no other and then we wonder why we hold grudges cause WE DONT TALK IT OUT LMAO.
-it’s easy to get drained of tasks that your not emotionally invested in or see no future in. I can make a whole rant on how this affects my school life but that’s too much.*sigh*
Influential musicians 🩵
chester bennington(lead singer of linkin park) also had a cancer mars.(may he rest in peace🤍) A lot of rock and heavy metal musicians have cancer mars which is ironic because they put all that passion and emotion into their lyrics and singing.
-lana del rey is a cancer mars and I feel like she embodies this placement fully. even by her lyrics and just the way she talks.
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IN CONCLUSION 🩵
-being a cancer mars has its ups and down and so many people pertain to its negatives. I believe that people with the fallen/detriment placements all naturally have their positives as well. it’s definitely a placement you have to live and learn by. I love this placement because it humbles me, gives me empathy and kindness ,but don’t cross us cause then we’ll reciprocate that rudeness 10x harder.
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gorgonwrites · 1 year
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bound to you (part 1)
diluc x fem!reader
authors note: hi! im gorgon and this is my first fic :) i am definitely NOT a writer, but i had an idea and i decided i wanted to do it myself >:)) this is turning into a slow burn type of thing i am so sorry haha. i usually like getting right into the thick of things but i just kept writing sos 
wc: 1,864
cw: uuuuuh none for now, no smut in this one! mutual pining, diluc is dumb and is trying to ignore his feelings for reader, fem!reader, arranged marriage trope, diluc learning to be a good husband blah blah 
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It’s been six months since you came to the Dawn Winery. You’ve come to love Mondstadt and you adore the staff who share your home. The only person who was still warming up to you is your cold shouldered husband. Master Diluc wasn’t known to be an affectionate man, and he kept himself busy with business or stayed late at Angels Share. Even though you’d been married for months, you could count on one hand how many times you’d actually spent a moment alone with him. He avoided you, and quite frankly, you avoided him. You knew you’d never get a chance at marrying for love since you were the eldest daughter of a well known Lord in Fontaine. Your marriage was purely political, but you lived an easy life here. The stillness that you experienced most days was a relief compared to the constant partying and being paraded around at events like you were an item to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. You were, however, incredibly lonely. Adelinde tried to remind you that Master Diluc was a very kindhearted person, he just needed time to adjust. 
“It hasn’t been that long since you arrived and married the Master, Lady y/n. Just give him time, he shows his affections in… his own way. You’ll see.” You sighed. Another six months of avoiding each other may drive you mad. You were an independent woman, and not being allowed to lift a finger in your own home was driving you past boredom towards insanity. 
“Do you think I’ll be able to help with the grape harvests soon? Master Diluc will be away on business for at least another month and I’m happy to provide another pair of hands.” You phrased it as a question, but as the Lady of the house Adelinde wasn’t in a position to refuse. She giggled as if you had asked her something rather mischievous.
“I know we could use the help. Besides, you could put that vision of yours to good use and keep everyone cool, I’m sure.” You didn’t get many chances to use your cryo vision anymore, and you jumped excitedly at the thought. Your husband can hardly stand the cold, and you’ve tried to limit how much you use it out of respect for him. He may avoid you, but he hasn’t been unkind. You try to afford him the same treatment, even if it was difficult at times. You were directly going against his wishes by offering to help with any harvesting work out in the hot summer sun, but what your husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him. 
“I’ve got more frozen lemonade, boys!” You yelled out to the men working tirelessly in the vineyard. Adelinde held an umbrella out for you to shield you from the afternoon heat, but you were feeling perfectly cool after using your vision to make a huge batch of frozen drinks for your employees. 
“Thank you, Lady y/n!” Each man said one after another, quickly snatching their drinks from the tray you brought out. You all had been working for hours at this point, your nose and cheeks were tinged pink from the sun. 
“Alright, after this we’ll get back to it. I’ve got a bit of energy left!” you said cheerily. 
“You most certainly will not.” a familiar gruff voice asserted behind you. Your eyes widened before you slowly turned to come face to face with your husband, speechless. He was home more than two weeks early. You stood before him in a thin undershirt and underskirt to combat the heat, sweaty, sticky, and sunburned. Embarrassed, you whispered softly,
“Welcome back, Master Diluc.” You averted your eyes from his gaze, suddenly feeling exposed in your current state. 
“Adelinde, please see y/n to her chambers and have her rest. I’ll help with the remainder of today's harvest.” he spoke as though you weren’t even there, and you were close to snapping. You can’t though, not for everyone to hear. Adelinde began to shuffle you back to the winery, and you chanced a glance back to look at your husband. He had already shrugged his coat off and began unbuttoning his shirt. He looked up to see you staring, and you swore you saw a small smile appear on his face. Surely not, you thought to yourself. And you let Adelinde take you inside to bathe and relax after a long afternoon in the hot sun. 
After your bath you sat alone in your room, wondering whether or not you wanted to find your husband. The harvests of the day had long since ended, and the skies were stained pink and orange as the sun set. You had a perfect view of the vineyard from your window, so you sat to watch the sky as you got lost in thought. You began to mindlessly braid your frizzy curls, and became so engrossed in the thought of your shirtless husband that you didn’t hear a quiet knock at your door. 
“Y/n?” You jolted at the sudden intrusion, only to see the subject of your wandering thoughts in your doorway. You looked away quickly, wanting to hide the flush creeping up to your cheeks. You felt hopelessly exposed again, only donning your summer nightdress. Your husband was a handsome man, you knew that. But you didn’t know him. After six months of marriage you knew nothing about the man in front of you, but you were finally ready to find out. 
“I did knock,” he smiled sheepishly, “I wanted to… see to you being well rested before I retired for the evening.” You furrowed your brow in confusion. This was the first time Diluc had visited your chambers, and he wanted to make sure that you were resting? You quickly changed your mind about getting to know him, and you could feel agitation creeping into your skin. 
“I am very well rested, thank you Master Diluc.” you replied flatly. His expression fell slightly, and you scrambled to find something else to say. 
“I told you not to call me that. I’m your husband, calling me Diluc will suffice.” You scoffed at him in response.
“Some husband, who has hardly spoken to his lonely wife in six months. Hardly even seen her as well! Leaving her to entertain herself day in and day out. I think if I become any more restless I may die from the madness!” You clapped a hand over your mouth as soon as the words left your lips. Wide eyed, you glanced at the man in your doorway once again. He’s nothing but a stranger, you reminded yourself. Even so, you didn’t mean to sound so harsh.
“I apologize,” you immediately whisper, “I didn’t mean for that to sound so unpleasant.” He smiled gently in response. Even if you pushed the limits of what you could do, even with your fiery quips and sarcastic comments, he only ever showed you a softness that no one else witnessed. Maybe you were the one giving him the cold shoulder and hadn’t realized it. You crossed your arms in response to your own thoughts.
“Don’t apologize for saying things I need to hear. I know I’ve been exceptionally busy since you came to Mondstadt. After the harvests are done, I’ll have a bit more freedom to do as I like with my time. I’ll see to it that I spend some of that time with you. Sleep well.” He quickly turned on his heel and was out of your room, leaving you speechless. You couldn’t help but notice your heart pounding, and you clutched your chest in hopes of calming it quickly. The sky was almost dark now, and you watched as crystalflies floated through the vineyard. Your heart had slowed its pounding, and you sat in your window again to go over what your husband just said to you. 
Diluc quickly made his way across the winery to his own chambers and let out a sigh when he closed his door behind him. His heart threatened to beat out of his chest after the short interaction with you, and he couldn’t deny the bulge growing in his trousers after seeing you in your thin nightdress. 
“Damn it.” he breathed. No matter the distance he kept between the two of you, the yearning he felt became clearer and clearer. He wanted you, and badly at that. Kindness flowed out of you like water, your fiery personality was intoxicating, and you were undeniably the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. He resisted growing close to you because he worried about putting you in danger. Anyone close to him could be used as collateral against him, and if anything happened to you his relationship with the Lords in Fontaine would crumble. Is he worried about that, though? Or is he more worried about any harm coming to you? He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, cursing at himself. 
Spending time with you would change nothing. He was sure he could easily entertain you once or twice a week when the Winery’s busy season came to an end. He took a breath and slowly began to undress for the evening. He huffs at the chilly night air flowing in from his open window, kissing his tanned and freckled shoulders. Diluc didn’t like the cold. It reminded him of what his life became after losing his father, and preferred to keep his body and home warm despite how hot it became throughout the summer months in Mondstadt. He thought of your cryo vision, and wondered if your body stayed cool in the same way that his body stayed hot due to his own pyro vision. Do you even like the heat? What was your favorite season? Would you ever tolerate being touched by him? His mind was racing again. Stripped bare aside from his shorts, he flopped onto his bed and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. 
Gods, she’ll lead to my ruin if I’m not careful. He stretched his arms over his head, seeing stars from the pressure of his palms. He smiled. Maybe any ruin you lead him to could be worth it.
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AHHH okay that's it for now sorry there wasn’t much ~flavor~ but i had to set the scene okay. like i said im no writer so feedback is always welcome! im so soft for this man i can hardly stand it LMAO 
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fadedmunson · 1 year
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all apologies | o. isaac
pairings ; oscar isaac x gn!reader (no use of y/n)
summary ; you do something that you know you shouldn't have done, now you're facing the consequences
genre ; reader doing something kinda dumb, slightest bit of angst, and then all comfort ^^ kinda established relationship already
notes ; 1 curse word !! im not very good at writing and english is not my first language, thank you for understanding
wc ; 🤷‍♀️, not proofread !!
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the hot, blistering sun was making your skin all sticky but thank god for this pool
"c'mon dude, just do it!" your friends egged you on
"i mean whats the worst that could happen?" one of them asked
"well, im sooo glad you asked! because i could hurt myself and ruin oscars mural, he just painted it i would never forgive myself." just thinking about it made you shiver
the pool party was a pretty cute and small gathering. only your friends and oscars were at this party and since you shared most of the same friends, it blended together really well
the only problem was how intimate and cozy your shared place could be with more than 10 people in it
"you only live once and it would be really cool! we'll get it on video and everything. the murals kinda far from the pool. I also thought oscar didn't really like the mural all that much. some water wont hurt it." one of your friends comments analytically.
that stupid reasoning is why you were now at the top of this diving board counting down to three
THREE ! god, WHAT am i doing with my life
TWO ! this won't make so much of a mess? right? i thi-
ONE ! SWEET BABY JESUS I CANT BREATHE
you take a leap of faith and jump right into this pool
SPLASH !
you don't know the water goes everywhere but you're pretty content with how steady your position and posture was while diving
you don't see the look on your friends faces that say 'fml' and 'oh... no..'
the mural was still wet and with the amount of water that splashed on it, the whole thing was ruined
and of course, right on time, oscar walks into the backyard
"thought i heard someo- " the smile on his face is immediately fading and being replaced with a blank stare
"oh my god," you don't know what to do in your frantic state "babe im so sorry i had no idea-" you try to talk to him but he pushes away almost too quickly and goes back inside
you just stand there, a cold and anxious feeling waving over you
you breathe in and then out, calm down and give him space, everything will be ok
you grab a towel, dry of a little, and take your sandals to go inside
the party is semi quiet, only being filled with small conversations and music through the speakers
before entering through the door entirely, you move your head to peak outside
"delete that video!" you shout to one of your friends who you know pressed rec.
as you're fluffing and drying off your hair, you try looking for oscar, not knowing he's fully slumped on the couch, just staring into nothingness
you're just worried for what you've done to this poor guy :,(
"oscar, honey, you gotta look at me please." you find and sit next to his motionless state and comb your hand through his hair while the other hand is caressing his face features
he doesn't say anything and doesn't even acknowledge your presence, ouch
"oh baby, im so sorry i did that. i knew it was a bad idea and im not sure why i still did it." you're quick to apologizing and you're now overthinking everything you did tonight
you're severely overwhelmed and have no idea what to say in this situation
all you can do is rest your face into his neck and press the smallest kisses there, making your way up to his jawline, then his cheek, his nose, and his head
you won't stop peppering these tiny kisses and you can see a little smile ghosting his features
you love the way he smells, the strongest smell of his cologne is all you can smell right now.
it's strong, a sandal wood and clean scent, it's so comforting to you right now
"stop you're tickling me now" he begins to lightly giggle and softly push you back a bit
you're both just laughing at each other until the laughter dies down and you fully apologize to him
"if i knew what would've happened, i would have never even step foot on that diving board" you look into his eyes with all the seriousness you could muster up
he just looks at you with softened and sad eyes "y'know, i was starting to like the mural a bit actually."
you're heart shatters into a million pieces (for the second time today) great, you feel like utter shit now
you feel like curling into a ball and crying as of right now, and he can tell, but you're here to console him
you see tears swell up in his eyes and you're quick to kiss his eyes and move onto his lap, your lips just inches away from his
"i don't deserve you, at all. there aren't enough apologies in the world to make up for hurting the most attractive person on earth" you poke at him a bit and just rest your forehead on his
he immediately moves your forehead off and wraps his hands on your waist as he leans in for a sweet, looooong kiss.
its warm, you taste the lukewarm beer he had around an hour ago, but it makes you smile into him
you end the kiss with a little peck on his lips and tilt your head to the side
"forgive me?" you pout a little
"i guess so," he sarcastically says but flips you on your back to trap you in his arms for another kiss
"hey!" you yelp while giggling
"i love you so much." you mumble into the kiss
"mmmmhm," he breathes into you "i love you so much more, mi querida."
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leftclown · 1 year
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So now I'm gonna move on and actually describe an experience I have had as a trans man who is currently detransitioned due to financial status. This experience involves both misogyny and transphobia, and I'm not really here to debate weather or not I Can experience these things, instead I'm just going to share it.
So I guess somewhat important context to this is that I am rather feminine by appearence. If you encountered me in the wild you'd think I was the hoodie and cookie monster pajama girl from high school. My partner, also not currently receiving gender affirming care passes a bit better than me. He at the very least gives people pause or incites confusion. Usually, though, people just assume he's a young man.
I was going to get a state ID because I had moved recently to another state. My ID from my previous state had my gender marked as M because I went through the due process to get that done. New home state has a policy that if youre from out of state you have to get your ID processed at the police station. My partner is also trans and had gone a week prior to get his done, and they had respected his ID's gender marker, moving all of his information from the out of state record.
I go in and of course I am marked F, so upon reviewing it I said thats incorrect, because my ID says M. We go back and forth and I eventually produce my partner's ID and say "you did it for him just last week". Big mistake on my part because I'm honestly still learning how not to give people like this the benefit of the doubt. Regardless, they go to their manager to figure out what to do.
A few minutes later I am called alone into the managers office. Here's a shortlist of this meeting;
-Thet confiscated my partners ID without him present
-Told me my due process didn't matter, that I can only change it if I had a letter saying I had already had SRS.
-Took my previous ID and voided it so I couldn't change my birth certificate
-Made me submit my ID as F
-Tell me my partner has to come in to correct his to F as well
This all happens very quickly, and I try to advocate for myself and lose. By the end of it, I am crying a bit and I mutter to myself "This is fucking insane".
This is the part that really fucked me up.
The manager stepped forward toward me, holding her hands in that defensive position, the one cops to do say 'I'm calm but prepared to use force', you know where they tilt their hips forward and rest their hands on the front of their belt. She tells me "I understand you're upset, but there is no swearing in here."
I am a nearly 30 year old MAN. And she is trying to tell me not to swear like I'm some teenager giving her lip.
"I'm not from here, this is just how I talk" I say, not yet realizing that she is trying to instigate. She prods this issue again, trying to detract me, trying to get me to cuss more. Trying to rile me up. I become quiet and still, thank them for their time and leave. She called me Sweetheart as I left.
And there is nothing I can do in this situation. Im dealing with cops in a red state. There's nothing I can do but cave to the authority because my plans are bigger than this. Because to further advocate is to put myself in danger and she made that very clear by drawing a line at me swearing. So I submit.
Submitting in a situation like this feels like your power is being taken from you. Like they are physically removing something from your arms and trying to get it back would be a major risk. It's not just that someone is stepping on me, it's that theyre telling me politely to get on the ground so I can be stepped on. It felt especially oppressive in this scenario, but it always feels like this. In the workplace, in social group, in family, a trans man is the least respectable thing you can be because not only are you a woman, but you're a crazy, damaged woman and if you're me you get ire for being a waste of a pretty face.
There's always a timeline too, it can be long or short but it always goes like this; People receive me initially with feigned tolerance and some mild comparisons to my partner's masculinity. Then they start poking and pushing and trying to see if I'm really a trans man in ways they think is subtle but to me is very unsubtle. Eventually, when they've disrespected me to the point of reacting emotionally, they act like they've gotten their gotcha moment because I've displayed the Ultimate Thing that makes you Not A Man: Tears. Most of them don't even need to get to there to conclude I'm a trender because well if I'm already almost 30 and haven't transitioned, I must not want it bad enough.
I'm sharing this story not just because it displays the intersections of being a trans man, how hard it is to obtain respect and how fragile that respect is, but also because I know there are guys out there who are like me. I see you, you with the puffy lips and round hips, you who can't transition right now, you who feels like he's waiting for a some day, for a time when it's just okay to exist out there and be treated with the basic fucking dignity of telling someone "Hi, I'm Dave" and having them reply without looking at your tits first. Who has beat himself up in the quiet hours for years for being too emotional, too feminine, feeling assaulted by the way the world wants to commodify your body and demonize your mind. You deserve to be seen and respected.
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quimichi · 3 months
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MATCH UP INFO <3
Or get to know me whatever you want lol
Antonia, 18, cis female, she/her, german, medical assistant student, infp, pisces, hufflepuff
EYES: Green, blueish, grayish lol HEIGHT: 1,58m, 5'4(?) OTHER: natrually pale, lots of moles, no tattoos, natrual eye bags, fox eyes, small dimples, full lips, small mouth, long lashes, resting bitch face lol, high nose bridge, long brown hair with highlights, wavy/curly, super shiny, pretty skinny, average curves, long neck lol, no make up, long nails, small hands STYLE: comfy and oversize, but in summer i wear more dresses and skirts, more girly, bit also still girly with oversized clothes, it's grunge like but i honestly wear any style if I like it
FIRST IMPRESSION: people say i look younger than i am, I'm very polite and kind by nature but i seem like that 120% more at the beginning than later lol
POSITIVE TRAITS: I'm polite or at least try to be, I have this helping syndrome I always need to help, I'm very open minded and I like to try new things, there are specific patients who adore me so ig I'm really likable-, even the complicated ones like me?? that's a compliment ngl, my friends say im really funny
NEGATIVE TRAITS: always sleepy, sometimes really lazy, very sarcastic and i have a dark humor, small anger issues but i control them really really well, many things can annoy me easily tho, many people say I'm too quite but in reality I just give no fuck lol I'm actually really loud, like I'm both and both is depending on the situation not good--, i talk a lot and yeah-bad in class-ik when to shut up tho
LIKES: Wind, rain, the night, stars, music, video games, sleep, my cornflakes lol, watermelon and strawberries, my super soft bed, family and friends, snow, winter in general, fog cause pretty, horror movies, ducks and chickens, especially my plush duck, cacti oh and palm trees
DISLIKES: pushy people, no manners, disrespectful behavior, pineapples cause idk not my thing, strong smells, beards cause--no, alcohol, I'm strictly against that for a good reason
LOVE LANGUAGE: Quality time (giving & receiving)
DEAL BREAKERS: the basics lol, no addictions, no job, bad temper, bad behavior, bad hygiene and so on
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE...kind, respectful, honest and loyal, the basics...I have low standards
TRIVIA ♡
@ i have asthma @ look, ik I'm pretty, nothing wrong with confidence, but having random people telling me 4 times i look like a pinterest model made me so so happy @ I'm REALLY good at parking backwards lol @ i rarely go out, like i don't need to i love it at home but if i go out i also like it more peaceful @ i love parking lot dates, getting food and sitting in the car for hours talking, my fav @ its hard to scare me, or make me feel really disgusted. I can look at all things, even smell and i wouldn't be fazed by it at all. But touching is a no-- @ super scared of deep waters like--what if something is underneath me??? @ i love plants but plants don't love me @ i can draw really well-i think so at least @ hardcore dreamer @ I'm not really touchy. Like i don't need physical affection that much or at all. Cuddles aren't really my thing, they're ok sometimes--- @ no matter when and where, if i wanna sleep I'm out in 10 minutes or less @ I'm 18, in germany it's legal to drink beer with 16 and any other alcoholic drinks with 18. I never drank one sip and never will. Super scared of alcohol, i feel very uncomfortable with it around me. Drunk people scare me so much that i wanna distance myself. It can even get to a point where i will constantly distance myself from that person so much that our contact breaks, if they abuse alcohol.
APPERANCE
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secretstrangerperv · 17 hours
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your answer made my brain melttt !!! i'm getting worked up again >__< sorry i closed n locked the window, i'm sure you won't break in or anything!! :3 especially not while i sleep in just my underwear <3
-🩵
oh my? locking the window on me? well thats rude of you isnt it, pup. it makes me ... quite angry actually. but you know ive been opening your locked window for quite some time puppy, this though, you were trying to provoke me werent you? naughty naughty.. im able to force the window open like i usually do though its riskier with you asleep but luckily it doesnt seem to wake you, or youre pretending to be asleep because youre anticipating me. regardless i dont care. i was playing the long con with you but it seems youre more desperate then i thought.
i look around the room for something to restrain you with, eventually grabbing a shirt from your closet, though i may or may not have taken a detour to sniff your underwear drawer hehe oops! i tie up your hands behind your back, tightly but carefully before positioning you, ass up face down. now the fun can begin <3
i give your asscheek a firm spank to wake you up. good middle of the night to you, perv! you think you can just lock the window before you go to bed??? nonononono you dont get to do that. lets make sure you know who's in charge here. i spit on your asshole and use my fingers to lube you up and stretch you out just a little, im not that cruel as to fuck you dry. when i finally slide myself into you, i try to have some self control but considering ive been wanting this for a long time myself, weelllll, thats short-lived. i fuck you so hard and so long your ass cheeks are red, im leaned down against you to mark you up and down your back while i push your head down against the mattress. who's counting just how many times unloaded into your ass and cunt at this point? certainly not me.
i pull out, exhausted. but theres one thing left to do. i grab you by your hair, turning you around to that your face meets the puddle of cum and cunt juices thats the result of my bout of anger and push your face into it. you look so pretty like this, all covered in cum, next time ill be sure to fuck your face to tears<3 i get dressed and leave you as is, of course, taking a picture for the memories. our first time fucking, how monumental. hopefully itll teach you to leave that window Unlocked, maybe ill play a bit nicer
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