#but it doesnt make me feel any better to be rational

[just-rogi]

im so fucking tired of going to the doctors. i cant keep up. every week its a new test or a new lab or a new specialist. i'm just exhausted. i have to go in for blood work AGAIN- this is the fourth time since april. its expensive, and time consuming, and honestly? im tired. im just tired. all the fucking time im tired of the lack of answers, and the phone calls in the middle of the day, and crying at work in front of my students, and opening my email to new lab results every other day. IM TIRED OF IT!!! im not even afraid of hospitals or needles i never have been, even as a kid, but i couldnt stop crying last time i got bloodwork. ive never been upset by bloodwork before what the fuck. last week i had an ultrasound of my liver and i got a call in the middle of the work day today that i need to get a BONE SCAN?? are you kidding me?? im scared. and im tired. and im angry. and i dont want to do any of this. i just want to cry and isolate myself and go to bed and not see anyone ever but i cant fucking do that because i have to go get injected with radioactive contrast material and wait four hours so they can see what is wrong with my bone enzymes.

[perfinn]

make my wish come true

simon 'ghost' riley x reader (sort of)

wc: 1.9k

summary: you're not certain simon is going to make it home in time for christmas, but a surprise shows up at your door

cw: NSFW, please be aware that while this is x reader, the reader is isa so she has a name and a few descriptions. it doesnt change the fic much, but if this doesn't vibe with u feel free to keep scrolling and dont complain to me about it. anyway, they have sex

this fic is my secret santa (organised by my love @bunnyreaper ) gift for the very lovely isa @alwaysshallow 💛 i hope you love it!!

read on ao3, divider by saradika

A really rational part of you knows that it isn’t easy for Simon to get leave over the holidays. War and terror doesn’t stop for the sake of Christmas, and your boyfriend's work won't stop for your sake, though sometimes the both of you wish it would. 

Still, he’s promised you that if he can't make it home, he’ll find time for a facetime, or at the very least a phone call. It’s never quite the same as having him there with you, but you tell yourself it’s better than nothing. If he can't find the time, he’ll force it. Nothing’s gonna keep him from his girl, especially if he can't be right beside you. It's just that… he hasn't responded to any of your texts in the last few hours. 

Realistically, it shouldn't worry you. Simon goes out of range all the time, and he can't always warn you. But he does tell you when he’s heading out for missions, whenever he’s able. Sometimes it's classified, but rarely are they so classified he can't tell you it's happening at all. Especially over Christmas. 

You chew anxiously on a hangnail as you stare at the unopened message you last sent him. It hasn't even been delivered, infact. He must be really out of range if it hasn't even gone through. Simon always demands you not worry about him, and you try, but you think the season is probably making it harder. All the festive traditions you liked to do with him had been done alone. Decorating the tree and the house, wrapping the presents– which you preferred to do with him since his military precision made him the perfect gift wrapper – all had been done without him by your side. He’d want you not to mope, but he’s not exactly here to stop you. 

A knock at the door startles you from your silent lamentations, and you bite back a groan. Carollers? At this hour? Do they seriously have nothing better to do than bother you while you’re mourning for the fact you'll be spending Christmas without your boyfriend?

You lift yourself from the sofa and grab the spray bottle you’d prepared for this exact situation. You storm toward the door with the intent to give them an unwitting shower and a verbal ass-whooping, opening the door and not giving them a second to start singing. 

“It’s almost 11 at night! Do you seriously have nothing better–”

“Isa–”

“–to do than bother me?!”

“Isa.” 

“I’ll spray you- don't think I won’t–” You cut yourself off when you finally lower the spray bottle and catch sight of who it is at your door. 

Christ, it's not carollers. It's him.

“Simon?” You say, taking him in like he might be some sort of sad hallucination you’ve made for yourself. But no, he doesn't disappear when you blink, and he really is wearing that ridiculous santa hat over his balaclava. You don't waste another second staring at him before you're throwing yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him. 

He envelops you in his arms, tucking his face in your neck as he holds you just as tightly as you hold him. 

“Sorry I wasn't responding to your messages, love,” he mumbles, inhaling deeply like he’s trying to memorise your scent. “No service on the plane.”

You dare to pull away and look up at him, giving him the opportunity to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. His eyes crinkle with a smile, and the lines only deepen when your gaze travels up to the santa hat on his head. 

“Johnny’s idea,” he says before you can ask. “It’s bloody ridiculous.”

“And yet you’re wearing it,” you say with a fond smile, reaching up to play with the little white pompom on the end. You take his hands and drag him inside, needing to take your reunion inside where it’s warm and private, without the prying eyes of your incurably nosy neighbours.

He closes the door behind himself, reaching up to take the hat off. “He thought you’d find it funny. Very convincing.”

You take the hat from him as he tugs off the balaclava. You’ve found he’s more comfortable with it off, but only around you. He never wants to be Ghost here. Just Simon.

(Except for the times you ask Ghost to fuck you, but those aren’t on his mind right now, or on yours. You only want Simon, and Simon only wants you.)

Once the balaclava is off and Simon is leaning down to kiss, you put the hat back on. He falters, a confused smile tugging at his lips. “You want it on?”

You hum your affirmation, kissing him softly before tugging him toward the couch. “Johnny didn’t suggest mistletoe?”

“He did,” Simon says, sitting down and pulling you into his lap. “Told him I won’t be needing it.”

You grin, laughing softly as you press your lips to his. Simon adjusts you in his lap, warm hands settling on your hips. Sometimes, with Simon, it's hard and fast. Full of heated passion and desperation. But on these days, when he gets home from what can sometimes be months of deployment, it's like this. 

Soft, and loving, and slow enough that the both of you can feel every moment of it. One of Simon’s hands trails up your back, tangling itself in the hair at the nape of your neck and urging you closer, deeper, so that he can ease his tongue into your mouth. You part your lips with little prompting, knowing him and his body perfectly by now, knowing what he wants without a word spoken.

He keeps his hand firmly on your nape as he lays you down, refusing to part from your lips until he begins to trail his kisses downward, across your jaw and to the column of your neck. 

“You really want me to keep the hat on?”

You suppress a giggle, already shimmying out of your festive themed sweats for him. “Yes,” you say. “Least I deserve after being made to think I’d be spending Christmas alone.”

Simon snorts, trailing his nose down the fabric of your sweater before adjusting himself so he’s situated between your thighs, legs over his shoulders. You’ve truly got him wrapped around your finger– to have Lieutenant Simon Riley be willing to do stupid shit for you, like wear a santa hat while he fucks you, isn't something many people can say they have. Or any people. 

Simon tugs off your panties, trailing kisses down your inner thighs and taking you in. 

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, love,” he murmurs, pressing his tongue to your pussy and licking a long, languid stripe over it. Your mouth drops open with the feeling, your eyes slipping shut before you force them back open– you don't want to miss a second of taking Simon in. God knows how long he’ll be gone the next time. 

(You’re lying to yourself if you think you’ll have any control over your body once Simon has you coming on his tongue.)

He turns his attention right to your clit, lapping at it and scraping his teeth gently over it. Every bit of it has you shivering and arching, struggling to keep your eyes on him with every passing second. 

Simon, however, is making no attempts to take in the sight of you. He’s lost in the taste of your pussy, and it's evident how much he missed you by how deeply he worships you. He dips down to lap at your entrance, his nose bumping against your clit as he pushes into you, a soft groan rumbling against you. 

It's clear how very much you’ve missed him by how you’re squirming, and how you barely have a second to feel your release creeping up on you. Your eyes squeeze shut as you gasp, coming on his tongue like it was punched out of you. Simon groans again, lapping at you until your body un-tenses, leaving you staring up at the ceiling. You feel his mouth leave your pussy with a soft kiss before his face appears in your vision, looking all too smug. 

“Miss me, did you?” He teases, pressing a heated kiss to your mouth. You can taste yourself on his tongue, making you moan softly. 

“Shut up,” you murmur against his lips. “Course I did.” 

He chuckles, pressing a contrastingly chaste kiss to the corner of your lips. “Perfect girl. Okay to keep going?”

You hum your affirmation. Though you’re a bit sensitive still, you don't think you can go another second without the heavy weight of Simon’s cock inside you. He smiles – god, he looks beautiful in the dim light of the tree – and pulls away from your lips, one hand trailing up your body to shove your sweater up over your tits while the other undoes his pants. 

You catch the glint in his eyes when he realises you hadn't been wearing a bra, but you don't have a moment to appreciate it before you feel his tip pressing into you. You exhale in a deep moan as he splits you slowly on his cock, your body still accustomed to taking his size even as long as you’ve been apart. 

Simon leans down again, pressing his forehead to yours as he buries himself to the hilt, a slow exhale fanning over your face. “Perfect girl,” he says again, voice a strained murmur. You can tell he’s holding back, letting you adjust– but you can't wait any longer. 

“Simon, c’mon,” you urge, admittedly sounding pathetic in your desperation. Simon only chuckles, and obliges you. 

To be fucked by him again is a dream, the slow and appreciative stroke of his cock inside you better than any holiday gift you’ve ever gotten. He fills you so perfectly, so fully, like the two of you were made for one another. 

The hat falls off. It goes tumbling to the floor, and you don't have the sense to care. Your brain is just as full of Simon as your body is. The two of you are so lost in one another as he fucks into you, nothing seems to exist outside of you. 

He curses, elbows planted beside your head. “Missed this pussy,” he mumbled. “Thought of her every day.”

Your cheeks warm as he grows a bit faster, more erratic– but Simon has nothing if not self control. So he holds back on his own release, instead reaching down to toy with your clit. You moan, breath pulled from your lungs as your oversensitive nerves bring you right to the edge of another orgasm. 

Simon draws it out of you nice and slow this time, though, so you feel it wash over you in slow waves, rather than it hitting you like a tonne of bricks. He presses wet kisses to your throat as he does, his breath faltering at the feeling of your cunt fluttering around his cock. 

He fucks you through it, and only when you fall still and get a bit whiney from the overstimulation does he come himself. He groans low and heavy, burying himself in you and pressing his body close to yours. He spills inside you, catching your lips in an admittedly sloppy kiss. When he finally stops coming– christ, did he not come his entire deployment? – he settles himself on top of you, cock softening inside of you. 

You both pants, bask in one another. Your hand finds Simon’s cropped hair, fingers carding through it as his hands find your dark strands. 

“How long are you home for?” You ask, hoping you haven't ruined the mood with the question. 

“Until January,” he tells you, and you smile. You press a kiss to his hair, sighing in content and letting your eyes wander to the twinkling tree in the corner. 

[sharkboyandlavalieb]

as a lesbian who grew up in a really repressive conservative community, and had to deal with a lot of self-loathing on top of that, i am a big fan of your characterization of snafu. firstly, it reflects a lot of my internalized feelings that i have to fight against every day, even though im a lesbian rather than a gay male. the sentiment of guiltiness and dirtiness is something that many homosexuals like me can relate to. also what anon doesnt seem to understand is that just because snafu doesnt want to "dirty" eugene, doesnt actually mean that he thinks it's wrong, per se. it could even be that he doesn't want eugene himself to feel dirty even if snafu doesnt really think it is. that could also be the case (but if it isnt THATS OK TOO!!!) like idk if that makes any sense at all but human emotions arent rational. its perfectly logical in an illogical sense. and anon is talking nonsense especially when historical and social contexts are taken into account...

i would have a really hard time enjoying a lot of [chronologically canon] fanfic if the very real feelings and sentiments of the times were just brushed over. i actually LOVE fics that deal with heavy internalized and societal homophobia because that reflects my experiences, and the hurt/comfort is a pattern that my brain can see and understand as "it gets better". fics that are void of homophobia are totally valid and even great, but there's nothing wrong with acknowledging the historical reality. i would even argue that it's important.

anyways sorry to get all serious esp because i dont think this was ever meant to be That Deep. But i just wanted to say that i am/was one of those Self Loathing Homosexuals and anon is lacking some perspective perhaps.

(please read this it's breathtaking)

[zerolynx716]

kisematsu makes me sooooo emo

yk when in the kaijo vs touou match (dont talk about the kasamatsu crying scene after that okay my heart has broken over it enough times) kise couldnt get up from the court floor because his legs were exhausted from copying aomine ,,, and kasamatsu walked to him and kise looked up at him and said “senpai… im so sorry…” and kasamatsu just picked him up, draped his arm over his shoulder to help him up and said “you did well, kise”

it hurts so much more cuz i get what theyre going thru. the euphoria from winning any sports game is unmatched but that means the misery when you lose is equally unmatched. its so bad

not being able to get up from the court, walking with a limp, looking up at your senior and feeling this huge pang of guilt that you couldnt win for them. its terrible

kise wanted to win FOR kasamatsu. he didnt want him to go through that feeling of loss. but the team lost anyway and he felt horrible because for so long the responsibility of the team winning has been on his shoulders. he was always expected to bring the team to victory and he is legit USED TO BEING HUMILIATED for it if he doesnt. he admits that to a fault he doesnt know how to pace himself. he doesnt know when too much is too much and he overexerts himself on a regular basis

but kasamatsu was ALWAYS there to help him. to tell him that if kise ever needed help making a decision w/ training he could go to kasamatsu. that kise didn’t need to bear the burden of success anymore

im never gonna stfu about this bro the ONLY reason kise developed and improved as much as he did is BECAUSE of kasamatsu. kasamatsu saw what teiko did to him the amount of pain kise didnt know he was bearing and he pulled out all the stops to make sure that kise would get better

he took kise to basketball matches with him. he took his junior OVER his classmates that are more experienced and would have had better insights but no. he did it so he could have more time with kise and si that kise could learn more about the game too. to teach him new things and new team strategies that he couldnt learn at teiko because THEY WERENT A TEAM

kasamatsu is one hell of a leader an amazing friend. he is exactly what a leader should be. hes passionate and motivating, he never EVER gives up. he has amazing mental fortitude and he is always open to teaching people new things especially to kise. he knew that kise was being disrespectful because that was all he knew how to do. kise didnt know what it was like to not be at the center of attention and not better than everyone and not singled out because of his talent. kasamatsu didnt let that go unnoticed. he put his foot down but he didnt do it aggressively. he was rational and respectful. he used all the right words

he knew there was something in kise. sure he was a great player but he had the potential to be a better PERSON. and kasamatsu wasnt gonna give up on him just because kise had a rough start

for so many years kise was alone. he never rlly had anyone close to him or anyone that wanted to help him. in that scene where he was in the floor and unable to get up? the animators made it a point to emphasize that he was ALONE. but a few seconds later, there was someones hand outreached. kasamatsu looked at him. helped him up. patted his head. praised him, comforted him

kise wasn’t alone anymore. he had someone that cared about him. an entire TEAM that cared about him

auauhyfhudhsh6(a ahhahwjjak im so insane about them im so sorry this will happen again

[outrunningthedark]

joined the 911 fandom few months back and…has it always been this annoying or did something shift recently. someone on twt said maybe mehta coming back doesnt have anything to do w buddie at all and now they are getting cooked for “raining on people’s parade and being a negative nancy for no reason” …. this whole cycle of setting expectations and bullying people for not having the same enthusiasm then getting annoyed that the tv show isnt delivering the same expectation you set is just so annoying??? glad that your blog exists and you exist because this fandom is in heavy NEED of rational minded people 😭🫶🏽

I've been actively involved in fandom since the start of s4 (was a lurker in s3) and from my perspective...things get worse as the seasons continue! In s4, there was *some* hope for canon!Buddie, but Ana came back into the picture and TayKay soon followed so expectations were lowered (because we didn't know how long they'd stick around). Thennn...the shooting happened. Plus the change in guardianship. People were on board again AND we were introduced to even more new fans who couldn't believe "the gay firefighters" weren't together yet. Season five? Eddie breaks up with Ana, Buck breaks up with TayKay..."If Buddie not canon then why did they break up with their girlfriends?" And now season six is about how "all signs point to canon Buddie" no matter what happens. (ie They were convinced Eddie would be a big part of Buck in the coma to hint at feelings and when he wasn't they changed their theories to "explain" why his absence was a good thing; same with the sperm donor arc - all that non-communication was going to pay off once Eddie confronted Buck about a decision he didn't think through and now the lack of 6A content is going unmentioned because Oliver has (twice) emphasized that there's nothing for Buck to come to grips with, he knew what he was doing when he said yes.) I think the fandom just really, really wants to be right about this one thing for two reasons: 1. It would be a game-changer. How many fans of a queer ship can say that they got the endgame they wanted? Furthermore, how many can say their canon ship started out with two straight characters who fell in love over time because a show thought that made the better story? (Not the SPN fandom, that's for sure. They're some of the biggest naysayers you'll find around here because "I've been where you are." Mind you, most us are old af and remember a time when queer ships stayed in fandom spaces because TV shows wouldn't dare take the risk of alienating audiences.) 2. Having Buddie go canon is an opportunity to get back at any and everyone who doesn't believe it'll happen; the ultimate "I told you so!" victory lap.

I do agree with the fandom when it comes to keeping opinions out of other people's inboxes unless they're open to reading it (obviously me :P), but expressing an opinion on your own page (whether that be twitter or tumblr) is what having a social media account in a fandom is for. You don't have to agree with the person. You don't even have to read it. But you can't stop them from feeling how they feel. And quite frankly, while having hope is nice to see (I do, too!), some people could use a reality check. We're not in the writers' room. We don't know what the writing staff is really thinking when they come up with stuff. Even when Kristen makes comments and Oliver gives his perspective, the fandom calls them "liars" or twists their words to fit a narrative that makes for (what they think is) a better outcome. They'll also advise people not to read the articles, but...nobody actually lies in those because they don't give away all that much information, and the information they do give is to tell fandom when things aren't about Buddie, lmao. Kristen said the coma arc was about Bobby and Chim and there fandom was hyping up Eddie's importance only to realize she meant what she said. Oliver says Eddie going after Buck in 6x10 isn't hinting at anything and they're envisioning feelings realizations at Buck's bedside, which never came. They're TELLING fandom to not get its hopes up right now and the speculation has only gone deeper into "this can't be about anything other than Buddie" because everyone is too invested to turn back now.

As for Captain Mehta - I have my own theories about this. Could his presence bring about a mention of the shooting? Yep. Could his presence inspire another conversation? Yep. But *why* him and *why* he finally has a first name? 1. Is everyone at that table supposed to call him Captain Mehta or just Mehta? Nobody knows him on a personal level? 2. Is it possible that throwing some third no-name/relatively unknown firefighter into the scene (along with Capt. Williams and possibly Julie) does nothing to gauge the audience's interest? At least the audience will remember Mehta and there's a connection between him and both halves of Buddie whereas we've seen Julie in limited quantities (and not even as one of their friends off the job) and Miranda Williams was last seen in early s4.

I'm not saying him being back can't be the precursor to important things, but people also thought the Buckleys were coming back after two years so their kids could yell at them some more and they would decline to be with their son in the hospital (why else would they have returned right then, duh!) and we all saw how that turned out. This fandom loves to say "Bestie, you're watching a FOX procedural" on the ~discourse~ days while routinely ignoring the fact that we're watching a FOX procedural. Sometimes what you see really is what you get when the show runners are (currently) pandering to an audience that includes everyone but us.

[actualbird]

was looking at luke’s room and do you have any idea why he has a little ladder on his kitchen shelf? seemingly leading up to a very breakable item? I know that birds sometimes have little things to climb around on but that is a straight up ladder to a glass container. I just thought it was very funny so I wanted to share this observation with you. every time I have any tot thought I go hmmm zak actualbird will love this

hi anon! and hjjHJHSVDKFJ OMG u brought up something that ive been wondering ever since frigging Day One of having first seen luke's apartment like

luke, why?

exactly like how u explain, i first thought that this could be for peanut and that made me happy to think about. luke's apartment actually has a bunch of stuff that doesnt really make sense unless i look at it from a bird's eye view (literally, like, how would a bird feel if they could interact with this) and realized that thatd be a super fun thing for a bird. like check out the stuff above his bed

1 ) the lights. there doesnt seem to be any practical reason for those rings to be there, but if i were to think like (heh) an actual bird, these seem like great perches! also would be fun to fly through. canon has shown us that peanut is a very intelligent bird, and so enrichment would be extremely important for him.

2 ) the wooden stand with perches sticking out of it. i assume this could be a thing where one could hang certain stuff like ID laces or hair ties, but luke has kept it completely devoid of Stuff. so i can only assume this is for peanut once again.

which, sidenote, i LOVE PEANUT'S MAIN PERCHHHH CAN I TALK ABOUT THIS PERCH (i will) (nothing can stop me)

like idk it just makes me happy cuz relative to the other objects around it, this is a Pretty Big Perch Setup. i wish we could see this from a background like perspective and not just topdown, itd help me figure out better just how big it is and, consequently, how big luke's love for peanut is 🥺🥺🥺

also i love how peanut's hangout place is directly across from luke's bed. theres a non zero percent chance luke wakes up everyday with peanut's beady little eyes staring straight at him. like this OvO

(sidenote sidenote: ......that means theres a non zero percent chance that mc, back when she was living with luke in his personal story 4, also woke up with peanut's beady little eyes staring straight at him. like this OvO)

i got sidetracked, wait. back to the little ladder. it must be for peanut. it's peanut sized in an apartment that already has a bunch of other For-Peanut objects. but yeah, it just leads to.....a pot and a kettle

the only rationalization i can think of for why this little ladder leads here is that The Ladder Was There First

i propose that luke added it back when there was nothing on that shelf! and so peanut had another fun little thing to hop about on and luke wasnt ever planning on putting stuff on that shelf cuz he doesnt know how to cook anything aside from fucking tomato omelet (i love him).

but then he starts accruing Cooking Paraphernalia for Reasons. the pot in particular is something i can see him having bought after his personal story 1, after he and mc cooked tangerine crabs together. maybe he wanted to make it again, so he bought a cooking pot.

and the kettle....luke doesnt strike me as a coffee or tea person, he strikes me as a "will chug a monster energy drink and then sugar crash later" kind of person. but maybe one day artem and/or vyn learns that whenever he needs hot water for like, cup noodles or whatever. he just gets a mug of water and microwaves it

artem: 😬

vyn: good lord

so they get luke a kettle. and luke didnt know where to put this stuff, so he just put it on the shelf. but i dont think peanut would push these things off by accident, hes a very smart bird

would peanut do it on purpose though if he wanted to be mischievous little monster to his beloved bird-dad?

absolutely

in conclusion:

[rainbowsky]

Hi rainbowsky,

Up to you to publish this or not, but I told my mom that I am a fan of DD and she's been trying to tear him down for some reason? Probably based off of anti stuff she reads on the Chinese internet since she doesnt follow him. Since I talked about it she told me about an article her friend linked to her where they wrote that he only acts with one expression, and recently she has been going off about the fake pregnancy "scandal" and when I told her that DD always treats women with respect she responded with "he's just pretending, you never know what people are like behind closed doors". It really gets me down that she keeps trying to discredit him knowing that I like him. Why would she do that?

Hi dianaprincessownsmyass!

Is your mother a GG fan, by any chance? 😅

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this behavior from your mother. It would be nice if she could at least set aside her negativity to support you in something you enjoy. But then, she might be feeling protective of you as a fan of someone she hates, and trying to convert you away from him. Still, it's got to feel really bad and I'm sorry to hear it.

She's also human, despite being your mother, and just as prone to all the same behaviors anyone else is prone to. She might just really hate DD that much, or be that duped by the information she's seeing. Unfortunately a lot of people never learned critical thinking skills and are unable to evaluate claims or don't even think to, they just take things at face value.

It's interesting because I answered a really similar question a while back about a mother who was taken in by claims about GG. It seems you're not alone in dealing with this! Anon from the previous ask, if you're reading this maybe reach out to dianaprincessownsmyass if you have any tips on dealing with it, or even if you two just want to bond over having gullible mothers! 😅

If your mother is a fan of GG, or spends a lot of time around fans of GG, then she will be getting brainwashed constantly by toxic shrimps, because they love nothing more than to try to tear DD down. Never underestimate the depth of hate GG and DD's fans often have for each other's artist.

In any case, her behavior is hurtful, and she shouldn't be doing it.

Have you tried talking to her and asking her why she does it?

I wouldn't recommend debating her about whether DD is all the evil things she thinks he is. There's that old saying, "Never try to reason someone out of a belief they didn't arrive at through rational means." Proof, logic, rational thought - none of these things are likely to make a dent in her views, because they don't appear to be criteria she valued when forming them.

Better to focus on your relationship with her than on anything about DD. If you have the sort of relationship where you can talk about feelings, you could ask her why she'd want to say things that hurt you. She might not be fully aware of how it's making you feel.

If that's not something you feel safe to do (some mothers just don't do 'feelings') then I'd recommend making the topic 'off limits'. If you set that boundary with her and stick to it, then at least you won't have to deal with that behavior anymore. Since it's a topic that's really not integral to your relationship - it's not something personal about the two of you - you might be able to avoid the subject without impairing your relationship.

There are some people who I really love and have a good relationship with, but who I just can't talk to about certain things. They know not to bring the subject up, and if it does come up we change the subject. Sometimes that's the only way to find harmony.

If all else fails you can try to appeal to her motherly guilt and affection - shamelessly if need be - to get her to stop being so hurtful.

Most important; please remember that what she is saying and doing has nothing to do with you. It's about her and her own feelings, biases, baggage and attitudes. Try not to take it too personally.

Good luck. I hope you're able to work something out with her! Just remember that you've always got turtles here to support you. 🫂

I have a previous post that's somewhat related here.

[lavenderarts]

Um.. this isn't supposed to be hate or anything, i just think that you while having the right spirit of support, are like, kind of having a bit of terf retoric yourself..?

I definitly agree that a trans man should not, EVER feel the need to identify as lesbian to be valid. Thats definitly right!! Nobody EVER should be forced to appease the terfs.

But also,

lesbianism should be about love of women, not about the exclusion of men.. THATS the terf retoric..

Sometimes peoples gender identity is more complicated than you think. Sometimes people are men and men adjacent, but identify with labels for their own identity for how they FEEL they are. And i think, it is like, its not nice to try and police labels.

Lesbianism historically has been more inclusive than just "'only-women' who like 'only-women'", it is more mixed then just having NOT-MEN in it, it is only of the recent decade that the discourse of lesbianism has become so esclusive, so vehamently avoidant of anything "man", because of, you guess it, terfs. Terfs are so hateful of men and trans men espcially.. its all messed up, please research it up i can not even come close to saying everything here!

other peopls should identify as they like, even if it makes little sense to others, yes we are all lgbt+ but that doesnt mean specific labels are not important to those who use it! Everyone is indiviual !

Ive been seeing weird lesbian discourse this week and it makes me sad, this is not your fault, but, please be careful, don't fall into your own policing of identities..

Also I apologize for the long ask, I genuinly only want everybody to be more open minded. Thank you for reading ;;;

Y'all hate lesbians so fucking god damn much. You think we're all TERFs and everything we say about our own identity is TERF rhetoric automatically because YOU associate US with those hateful hags. Me saying men aren't lesbians isn't TERF-adjacent because men does not automatically refer to trans women, and if you assume that's what I'm saying it says more about you than about me. Me saying lesbianism excludes men isn't TERF rhetoric, it's fact. Lesbians telling you that our sexuality is the only fucking one in existence where men are not welcome in any way isn't a TERF thing at all. The fact that we have to qualify everything we say about ourselves with "don't worry I'm not talking about trans women :)" because otherwise you think we're TERFs is a you fucking problem, not me. Not all TERFs are lesbians and not all lesbians are TERFs, and saying the completely normal, rational, and correct sentence "Trans men are men and men cannot be lesbians and people who are attracted to men cannot be lesbians" is not hateful or wrong. I don't care how cool you think the word lesbian is, sometimes it doesn't apply to you and you need to get a grip on that, we aren't some secret exclusive club that needs to be opened and made more accommodating. Lesbianism IS about loving women, and it is also the only sexuality that has nothing to do with men in any way, shape, or form, and the rest of you just cannot handle it and are constantly trying to hammer the definition into something that doesn't sound like a dirty word to you because you have some internalized shit you need to work out on your own away from dykes

Genuinely shut the fuck up I am not here to hold your hand and make you feel better because you're sooooo sad that lesbians are talking about issues that affect us. Take your condescending dumb ass elsewhere PLEASE I'm so sowwy I made you feel bad bc I wasn't Nice :((((((

[partytricks]

young royals s3 thoughts (SPOILERS!!!!)

- first and foremost i think they tried to fit waaaayy too many things into this season. it feels like they wrote two seasons worth of content and instead of trying to cut plotlines that were unimportant to the overall narrative, they just said fuck it lets do them all. and it...did not work

- LOVE the idea of wille's speech having repercussions outside of wilmon and the royal family, and i love that the hazing was addressed, but again the whole reveal about erik and august felt like it was just thrown in to have sympathy for august and to lead to wille's breakdown at the bday dinner (which like...he had more than enough reason to do already). i do like the idea of erik actually being fucked up behind the scenes, but i wish they would have hinted at it in season 2 or something instead of just dropping it out of nowhere. idk

- WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THEY FORGOT ABOUT WILLE HAVING ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS UNTIL THE LAST COUPLE EPISODES???? his anxious habits and the physical toll that stress takes on him were pretty consistently shown in the first two seasons and then suddenly not a thing until the halfway point???????? like idk something about that really bothered me. my one big hope for this season was that wille would get to address his panic attacks but it seems like theyre just not gonna acknowledge it, which i guess is true to real life anxiety it's just something you live with, but it was teased to be such a crucial thing about wille that im a little disappointed its not getting explored

- wilmon cannot communicate to save their lives and i feel like neither of them are ready to be in a relationship. they have a good dynamic and you can tell they care about each other, but they never look at issues from a dual perspective, only as an individual. and then when they call each other out they just get defensive. i think they only want the lovey dovey fun part of a relationship, and they cant accept the fact that things WILL go wrong and they have to work through it TOGETHER

- ive seen a lot of people say that wille got really mean out of nowhere this season and i kind of disagree?? yes, his aggression is def at the forefront of almost all his scenes, but we've seen in the past two seasons that he doesnt know how to deal with stress and takes frustration out on other people. it's just that now he's constantly stressed and therefore on a hair trigger. is it right of him?? no. but does it make sense?? yeah, for me at least

- i HATE that wille's anxiety is constantly pushed aside because it "isnt princely" but the MINUTE that kristina has mental health issues she gets to step back from her duties and see a therapist, get meds, etc... now to clarify, i hate it because wille deserves better and its so hypocritical. i LOVE that it was included in the story because you really get to see plain as day just how much wille's family does not give a shit about him. he was so worried about his mom because he knows what it feels like and wants to be there for her when she never was for him, but she cant even make eye contact with him. and his dad is no better. that scene where wille calls to ask about erik and his dad just goes "yeah i cant think of any of erik's flaws he was perfect" EVEN IF YOU THINK THAT YOU DONT SAY IT TO YOUR OTHER KID???? who, to wille's point, is CURRENTLY YOUR ONLY SON.

- simon dealt with a lot of shit this season, and he was right to be scared of wille during his blowup at the royals, but CALL ME CRAZY i think he couldve waited until like, idk, the NEXT DAY?? to breakup with him???? yes, wille has been an ass to simon this season and taking family drama out on him, thats not cool, but striking while the iron is hot is an AWFUL idea. bring it up while wille is in a more rational headspace and not as riled-up. like simon my bby i was with you til then

[fruitpunchjollyrancher]

my shitty treatise on "ants from up there" and gale dekarios

this is the gale album of all time. and i WILL elaborate. (also warning im only posting this because i have been obsessed with this fucking album and gale for a WEEK and need it out of my brain. im probably not going to explain too many lyrics and i get nervous expressing my ideas because tbf to me it seems quite obvious but ofc i can explain, assuming anybody reads this post)

"Concorde" immediately stood out to me like oh this is so gale. i dont even think i need to explain how gale this is. the rest of the song is super gale too, i just don't want to include screenshots of the entire song

"Bread Song" has a LOT of worship imagery and also below alluding to appearing fine but rlly inside he is not well <3

oh my god. "Good Will Hunting". the mentorship but also wanting her to depend on him a little but it's unfeasible, weaving a whole life in his head that can never be because mystra will never see him as an equal... also the pre-chorus 👍 i am so well

"Haldern"... i literally dont know how to explain my feelings about this song in relation to gale pls someone tell me u see the vision

"The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" is more headcanon/my interpretation but im just gonna focus on the parts that i think everyone can agree on. first 2 lines arent super applicable to mystra but ig i can rationalize it as her being detached from the world/not rlly participating (i.e. why didnt mystra just stop the absolute herself (im aware its because ao doesn't like it when they meddle, im smoking that true forgotten realms pack trust me)). but the MAIN part of this song that is so gale to me is the vines breaking bones, bones heal, our school friends sign our cast on the playground, my body is yours. like holy shit being a chosen of mystra is a huge fucking deal and despite the pain it can cause (that he doesnt even notice because "tied me up slow with your vine stuff / it takes a few years") but it's definitely encouraged among wizards/mages in any circles he was in and by elminster ("we tell all our school friends / and they sign our cast in the playground"), then of course the last line breaks my heart. rest of the song is also rlly fucking good please listen to this album.

"Snow Globes" has more religious imagery but tbh i dont know precisely how i feel about it in relation to gale so im just gonna skip it

"Basketball Shoes" shows a more hopeful future but still #suffering because thats just how it is. concorde being mystra/his relationship to her tears his life to shreds, defines his life, leaving him with nothing. keeps seeing her everywhere (wizard stuff, his damn earring, he's always saying "by mystra" like bro you're intersecting at the market town on purpose atp (i get it)). i interpret the part after that line break (idk why genius doesnt just say its a different verse, don't quote me on this idk anything about music theory) as post-game where he's still Not Great but it's better and moving on, there is a future. doesn't look to mystra anymore (throughout album especially in good will hunting and bread song the s/o is mentioned through headphones, wifi passwords, phone calls, so "never look at our phones anymore" means he isn't thinking of her anymore or trying to curry her favor).

alsoooo should mention that i didn't include the part of "The Place Where He Inserted the Blade" that mentions a lunch metaphor in relation to panic attacks and possible cheating so the "feelin kinda normal with a packed lunch" is doubly meaningful, he isn't freaking out while making lunch anymore

this verse is tav (or whoever u romance as gale origin idgaf)/gale as he is trying to find a new object of devotion in his romance. "the clamp" could be many things, from reminders of mystra to all his perceived inadequacies to lost opportunity to become a god w/ the crown of karsus.

third section of the song im kind of undecided on w/ gale like we got the religious imagery again, could interpret "generous loan/crippling interest" as mystra's deal for him to return the crown of karsus in exchange for no orb. but yea idk yet

and that is the entire album (- chaos space marine, i didn't really think of anything related to gale when listening to it but it's still a great song, PLEASE listen to this album). so yeah if im horribly wrong on any of my takes be sure to send me hatemail k thanks bye

[rottonbear]

*****personal comment, NOT accept any different opinion, u are welcome to share yours, but pointing mine is wrong*****

finished my first watch, and will have my second watch later today.

5/10 or 6/10 movie to me (without orm 5, with orm 7)

wonderful screen, ridiculous ending, normal music (the 1st movie was super fanatic to me), i think some trailer dialogues didnt in the movie, little disappointed.

if u care, that female appears a lot, but you can feel there was tons and tons of edit, and that make almost all of her scenes super weird

arthur and orm scene doesnt enough.

i am a cp fan girl indeed, yet james said this is a brotherhood movie, so i think it is ok for me to expect more brother interactive. i enjoy the brother part, but the two boys scene just cant support the ending. everyone knows arthur and orm grew up separately, they knew each other little, their relationship is complex. how could these 3 or 4 scenes convince orm willing to let go his hate. after those adventures, he may be loves his brother more in some point, but he must loves his country much more, and he dont think arthur can be a good king. he is a pride prince who refuse giving up or begging for mercy even hitted by those guards in the desert while he is in a low body condition. how could a noble like this will change his mind totally cause some adventures that didnt hv any heart to heart commutation?

cause of mommy's order? i think patrick did a really good job of showing the complex relationship between orm and atlanne. orm may be a mommy's boy, but not that mommy.

mention again, dont get me wrong, i love their chemistry, i just think those scenes cant convince me the ending is reasonable.

personally, i dont want to see that female at all, even change the actress. rationally, this movie lenght is too short, and cant tell audience a whole story about arthur's family, and their brotherhood. i think a story base on orm more, for example his past, or increase the length will be much better

beside these, the final fight is just a piece of you know what i want to say, just too ridiculous, make me "huh? are u kidding me?" at that moment.

took in the same cinema few days ago （that day watched wonka）

[urthemiiel]

band name bestie and wild card for mercy, beginnings bandmates and tattoo for kian (hope it's not too much ddjdskjd)

THANK U!! it is not too much dont worry <3 but ill put it under the cut bc its long hehe

infamous mc ask game!!

mercy

Band name: How did they and the others come up with the band name? Has the name changed since it was founded?

- their band name is final girl, like the horror movie trope! mercy is a big fan of horror or gore or anything spooky. the name has been the same since the band was started, and it’s always been fitting since they are a punk band with a female lead and the aesthetics to match the ongoing horror theme!!

Besties: What’s their friendship with Rowan like? What are some things only he knows about them?

- she and rowan are super close!! he’s her best friend in the band. only he knows the full extent of her delusions LOL every day she texts him that she is fully convinced orion wants her bad and every day he says “u are literally insane ❤️”

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like.

- shes super active on social media and has a decently large following even before botb. her fans love her for the drama… u better not piss her off bc she Will post call outs on her main ig 😭 during botb she absolutely heckles both soft violence and underground wastebasket and says mean things to their fans just bc she thinks it’s funny. besides being a troll she also posts a lot of selfies and thirst traps bc shes hot!!!!

kian

Beginnings: When and how did they know they wanted to be a professional musician? Was there a deciding factor?

- kian was a bored and lonely child and his parents felt enough guilt that they enrolled him in piano lessons so he could have Something to do(idk how canon this could be but its canon To Me). he was a natural, and he loved it. it was his introduction to his love for music and for a while he did think he’d pursue it as a career but ultimately decided it would be boring and his dream switched to being a famous rockstar instead. going to his first live shows, discovering misfit alley, and meeting seven/eventually starting the band in high school solidified that goal

Bandmates: How do they feel about the members of the band? Would they still be interested in stardom if they weren’t with that group?

- hes close to everyone in the band in his own ways. mostly rowan and devyn tho. rowan is a partner in crime, they have the most fun together and will always find a way to piss off orion. devyn is the rational one and kind of a calming presence. they got closer after the whole party/seven fiasco. if he didnt have the band i think he’d still pursue that kind of music, but probably as a solo singing type thing

Tattoo: Did they keep the tattoo with Seven’s initials? Why/why not? What was that decision/execution process like? (Bonus: What do they think of Seven keeping their tattoo?)

- he did keep the tattoo and he also doesnt conceal it on stage. so something about kian is that he is absolutely terrified of needles. hes never gotten piercings or any other tattoos, and the one tattoo he has for seven is a testament to how much he loves him bc it was a whole ordeal just to get it. so besides the fact that he is still horribly in love with sev, he also will not get it removed or covered bc he acts like sitting in the chair and being touched with the needle again is the same as being tortured to death. he says that he will get it removed once seven gets it removed, but the thought of seven removing his initials makes him ill 🤕 its like his last shred of hope that seven doesnt completely hate him

[arcane-sync]

This is 100% some specific part, just dont know who I am right now. I am just... tired and pissed, and I have enough control to say things I'm not usually allowed to say.

First, and honestly the less severe of the two offenders: this fucking school. The only other school in the area with the same program is more than double the cost. So transfering isnt really an option. But i hate HATE having to keep an eye out for a short list of professors who want me kicked out of this program. I finished this semester and as i got ready to leave the final class, the teacher said goodbye with such vitriol. I pointed out that it sounded like get out. Her response was "well..." then she tipped her head like i had a point then walked away. I hate sitting here and praying her bias doesnt tank my grade in that class. I kind of like my 4.0. I hate that i will have to spend the next two years here watching my back. I've stopped keeping my diagnosis a secret. I will not sit back and let this school teach my fellow students that DID is a mythical creature when the 12 month prevalance rate is HIGHER than bipolar, OCD, and anorexia (at least according to the DSM-V. I dont own the TR yet). I wont hide when i have in ACTUAL EMAIL the CHAIR of the department saying I "am not allowed to continue in this program until such a time as I am cured of my disability." Sure its resolved for now, but I know I am holding a smoking gun.

And the fact that DID celebrities on tiktok and twitter are on a hate campaign against professionals? Yeah, triggering that anger more. Fuck them for roping me in with the entire profession. For making parts of us feel WRONG for wanting to enter the field cause theyre all getting painted as villains right now. They talk about professionals not listening to people with DID as if there are not professionals practicing RIGHT NOW who have DID. Talk about being stuck in the middle, when both your fellow professionals and your clients hate you.

And second, our husband: Who still refuses to use preferred pronouns. Who was OFFENDED when he found out we have male alters and accused us of being trans. Who still says it was okay to try and give us an exorcism when our DID first started showing (and the fact the first part claimed to be a demon is beginning to feel like a flimsy excuse). Who eats out meals without telling us then gets offended if we do the same. That I have to RATIONALIZE every single purchase with. Every single dollar spent has to be reported and labeled as to why we bought it so he can balance the budget. But like... we are paying out of our own bank account that is filled exclusively with our student loan money. So... why? Unleas he doesnt actually think we will get a job after this degree and is constantly preparing to take on our medical and grocery expenses. But we don't have the money to leave him and no support network in the area to help. Who still defends himself saying it was my BIBLICAL DUTY to give him sex. Who went a year without and growled out that he will NEVER go that long without sex again, and that sounded an awful lot like a threat at the time. The man that so many of us are still scared to talk to about anything remotely related to politics because its more important for him to stand up for his political beliefs than comfort our fears. Birth control, trans rights, riots, shuts all of those thoughts down with his anger. And yet, I'm in the minority on leaving this relationship. The others dont think its that bad. That he can get better. That he's TRYING to get better. As if him trying to get better absolves him of suffering any sort of punishment for his past actions. And the marriage counselor AGREES. Says things arent getting better in the relationship because we wont let go of the past. That its our TRAUMA and resulting trust issues ruining the relationship.

I'm tired of swallowing down acid when I feel like I have every right to be spitting it in other people's faces. But the others beg me to. And for the life of me, I cannot convince the others otherwise. They wont listen to me.

[ankhisms]

have experienced what feels like 800 emotions in rapid succession on a rollercoaster today and it hasnt even really been a bad day honestly or anything im fine you know how it is

my mood swings have just been a lot stronger than they usually are since thats one of the biggest things my meds are for theyre like supposed to be a mood swing stabelizer but anyway

something that im aware is related to my more severe paranoia and obsessive compulsive issues but is less severe and more just adjacent to those is like being scared that im somehow a hypocrite about various random things or that im somehow secretly an awful horrible person who hurts people and does bad things without me even realizing that im doing that. im also aware that this very much stems from the way my abuser treated me and also the behavior of ""friends"" i had when i was younger who just now as im older i realize honestly didnt even like me and kept me around to make fun of me and be cruel to me together as a kind of group bonding thing.

which sucks because when im doing self soothing techniques and trying to calm myself down or even just approaching these thoughts and talking myself thru things it can be hard to counter the fear of "what if my friends or people i know in general actually talk together about how im an awful person and they hate me or talk together about how ive done something wrong without telling me?" with "no thats not fair or true and not based in reality" because it very much WAS reality for me. not in the sense of me having done something "wrong" in the past with those ""friends"" but like them being cruel to me and making fun of me when i wasnt around and the things i did ""wrong"" were just my autistic traits and other symptoms of my various mental things especially during that period of my life where i was completely unmedicated and had just gotten away from my abuser and was still in the awful school environment of being harrassed every single day.

anyway its really like. i know i shouldnt worry about this, rationally i know this. but just because i know something isnt rational it doesnt make my brain stop obsessively thinking about it so its like i could see someone saying "i hate when people go to the moon and jump up and down and sing the abcs" (ridiculous example bc i cant think of anything else) and i could at first go oh yeah i get that and like their post but then my brain will go but what if ive done that without realizing it and they see me liking their post and they go "ugh rey this post is about YOU and people like you and youre such a hypocrite and dont even know it" and the spiral begins. and in the end i guess all of this just goes to show that having people pretend to be friends with you only to hate you and ridicule you and pick apart every little thing you do behind your back really fucks you up.

also thinking about the ex close friend who cut me off out of nowhere with no explanation for seemingly no reason about a year or so ago now and ive continued to have kind of taking off the rose tinted glasses moments where i loved and cherished this friend so much that i excused how shitty they treated me at different times. not at all saying they are or were a bad person or that there was any abuse going on or anything like that but im just realizing that we both come from dysfunctional abusive families and we both have our own physical and mental problems and so throughout our friendship we both mightve not made the best choices or couldve handled things better and im not exempt from that. but also i realized that he would not tell me if i had done something to upset him and it would be like a guessing game for me and would really stress me out and make me feel awful

and its like. now as im older i would want to be able to talk things out and understand what had happened and be able to apologize and work on doing better. and in general thats something i really try my best on like i think in the past i would really get stuck in obsessively overthinking in self analyzing and get into moral obsessive compulsive spirals that just ended up hurting myself more than helping me grow, and anyway i always want to be able to step back and look at myself and my actions and be willing to listen if someone tells me ive done something hurtful or that i need to re-examine my behavior and beliefs, i think im pretty good at listening to people about stuff like that and have gotten much better about not falling into those spirals i just mentioned and examining myself in smaller healthier doses

but at the same time i do really get worried that people just arent telling me that theyre upset with me or that ive done something wrong or hurt them in some way. i really just want to be a good friend to people and i dont want people to be scared of coming to me and talking with me if ive done something to hurt them or to just talk about things with me in general and i dont want people to think im so fragile and mentally fucked up that theyd be scared of upsetting me by telling me id done something hurtful and letting it fester instead. i dont want to hurt people i want to spend my life making people happy and helping people and being a good friend, thats what i want most out of my relationships in life overall. i want to make people feel content and happy and safe.

but idk i just get scared. please be honest with me be upfront with me be blunt with me even i know im traumatized but i wont shatter into a million pieces if you tell me youre upset with me ill appreciate you being honest about it and ill stop whatever it was i was doing or work on it. i know im bad with social cues bc of autism and if i misunderstand something or say something inappropriate/out of my lane due to this please just tell me yknow

i really hate that my brain is like this and that having been abused and mistreated in the past has made me struggle like this because i want to trust that people arent talking badly about me or angry with me secretly i dont want to be so paranoid i dont want people to feel like they cant be honest with me or that im made of glass and that ill shatter if they tell me theyre upset with me, i want to trust that the people in my life like me and dont secretly hate me and im really trying hard but paranoia isnt something i can just magically wave away yknow its something im probably going to be dealing with for most of my life and im always kind of scared that people are going to get tired of my paranoia

despite living in survival mode constantly i still love all the people in my life a lot and i just want everyone to be happy and safe and i always wish there was more i could do to help everyone and i want everyone to be able to thrive and to be living comfortably and have all their needs met and to get all the help they need i love everyone a lot i want everyone to be okay and yeah

have also been majorly overthinking about if i want to do something that im being vague about as i ramble about it which i know is silly and its not even like something bad or negative but i just keep overthinking about the possible what if scenarios of oh what if i do this and they react really badly and cut me off and never want to talk to me again and due to this im also unfortunately like overthinking most things recently and being even MORE scared than usual of coming off as weird or being weird and making people uncomfortable but aint that just the way yknow. ill either do it or ill be a coward

anyway besides that my days been pretty decent its a lovely early autumn day. after typing this all i realized im probably feeling super emotional and weird because i just started my period lmao but thanks if you read this i love u mwah

[dracoryss]

Venting so ignore ig

I hate being treated like a hysterical woman no matter what I do. I am totally aware that today morning I did let anxiety win at many moments and got snappy and tearful stupidly fast, and probably yelled and got mean. But even now, several hours later, being totally collected, calm, and just really trying to have my shit together and not let anxiety win until tomorrow, and explaining rationally my concerns, my dad asked if I took my 'night pill ' (migraine med, and yes) because he thinks is an anxiety med??, he followed asking if weed would make me feel less anxious because it's apparent I need to calm down.p

And also I have totally legitimate reasons based on my own past experience to feel this anxious and not some word case scenario I'm making up in my mind; I think Gorda needs to be seen again by the vet because I'm noticing a limp and wanna discard a fracture or any major problems, and my dad thinks I'm exaggerating because she seems fine and moves a bit, and if the vet says she's ok, the vet must know better, etc etc but BRUH when Baby fractured her femur 5 years ago, she was around with a broken femur a couple of days before she got surgery and she did all her normal stuff, including walking and jumping and at the first x ray, some vet (not her usual) told me baby was totally ok w no broken bones and thank got her usual vet followed her instinct and asked for a second xray, so in this experience, I could totally see Gorda having an issue and not being noticeable right away but I'm just a anxious crazy woman what do I know

Also it drives me nuts and makes me feel such a junkie that my dad keeps casually asking for my meds as if I were taking 50 of them as opposed to 1 daily adhd pill and 1 Migraine pill, with prompts like ' don't u take something at night to sleep' 'dont you have something for this *generic pointing any distress*' 'doesnt your pills help you with -totally unrelated issue-' why is it so hard to pay attention )):

[yohanpalia]

so here's a longer take than me just being sarcastic in replies to ppl who dont actually explain any of their argument despite them feeling bothered enough by my post to reply.

the summarised topic of my long post they replied to is: there isnt currently good representation of fat or chubby body types anywhere in palia - the only really big round fat man is pretty much a bad guy and obsessed with food, which isnt very pleasant representation. there are no romanceable characters who arent very skinny or fit (theres 9 romanceable charas). palia is bad at fatness, and so is almost every other game, and this is constructive criticism about that. (read the long post itself for more background, info and clarity!)

palia being in open beta has nothing to do with its character design re: fatness. it doesnt take more effort to design and add a fat npc than to design a skinny or muscular npc, so there's no reason to "put off" adding more fat characters until later development stages - not when they clearly designed all charas individually already until now (they don't have the same body types as each other, same face shapes as each other, same animations, etc - they're all unique already).

the fact that the charas are already wildly different from each other is the exact reason i wrote my long post. bc it wouldve been just as easy as anything else to add in an attractive fat or chubby character who is romanceable! and they actively chose not to (the 9 romanceable charas are between very skinny to fit). or to add in fat or chubby npcs that arent stereotypical (someones mom, a bad person, obsessed with food, selfish/greedy, etc).

so it being in open beta is not a rational argument for this specific game, since it already has a diverse cast with diverse designs.

how about "palia is a videogame"?

besides the obvious point that it being a game doesnt make it any different than other media in regards to harmful stereotypes and harmful social structures etc, you can see that the palia devs already took care to create somewhat diverse characters.

they cared to create charas that have different facial traits, different body types, different hair types, etc. they actively chose to create a diverse cast - but didnt include chubby and fat people in that cast in any other roles than "not meant to be attractive".

this is the problem and this is why i talk about it. there need to be romanceable fat/chubby characters, even just *one* would be better than nothing among than the current 9 (!!!) romanceable charas that are all skinny or fit. ideally we should see bigger variety than just "9 skinny/fit ones and one fat", though.

the non-romanceable npcs should also feature chubby and fat characters that dont fall into basic "its someones mom" stereotypes or harmful stereotypes (food obsessed, lazy) etc etc. there should be a charming and attractive fat character who isnt shady or bad or selfish, an intelligent and friendly one, or an angsty creative one, i dont care! the point is they need to be interesting people and potentially attractive the same way the skinny and fit characters are created. and they shouldnt just be "someone's parent" for fucks sake.

palia failing at fatness rn, doesnt mean that the devs wont add more fat or chubby characters in the future. they might. we dont know that. they might not. thats why its necessary to voice and discuss topics like this so that people are aware to the issue and can constructively criticise it.