#but it seems like it’ll be more rock-y / like their previous albums

[tarotmantic]

joe trohman might not have liked mania but i did 😁

[ineloqueent]

Starstruck: Part 11

Brian May x Fem!Reader

This is Part 11 of a multi-part fic. Click the links below to read the Masterpost, the previous part, or the next part of the fic :)

Masterpost / Part 10 / Part 12

Summary: When studying at Imperial College in the 1970s, your path is crossed by a beautiful boy as much in love with the stars as you.  

Warnings: swearing

Historical Inaccuracies:

Not sure that Veronica went with Queen to Ridge Farm at all, but hey— creative licence!

Word Count: 6.9k

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

You woke up late, and this you knew because from downstairs you could distinctly hear arguing, and it was rare that any of the others deigned to get up before eight in the morning, which was when you normally awoke.

You wandered into the kitchen with your hair still quite mussed by sleep, but in the very least you were dressed. Unlike Queen, who were waltzing about in pyjamas and dressing gowns.

“It’s just a bit weird, Roger,” Deacy was saying.

“Weird? It’s just a song, John!”

“Just a song?” said Freddie. “Then tell me, darling, why it is you’re pushing so hard for it to be on the album, hm?”

“With my hand on your grease gun?” Brian recited from a piece of paper, glasses on his nose. “Really, Rog?”

“It’s a metaphor, Brian!”

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh, good morning, Y/N,” Freddie addressed you.

“Hello everyone,” you said, amusement still on your lips.

“Morning,” Deacy responded, while Roger grumbled something.

Brian smilingly handed you a cup of coffee. “Back me up on this, would you?”

You leaned against the countertop, next to Brian, whose posture was so positively awful that you could almost look directly into his eyes. But you avoided that carefully; his pyjama top was only half-buttoned, and the pale skin of his chest was visible beneath the open collar. It reminded you of how he had looked on the album cover of Sheer Heart Attack, how your eyes had fallen to where he lay with wide eyes, parted lips, his shirt unbuttoned. Borderline indecent. And outrageously attractive. As he was now.

You cleared your throat. “I don’t know, what’re we talking about, exactly?”

John rolled his eyes. “Roger’s car song.”

“Car song?”

“Mm,” Brian sipped his coffee.

“You’re just jealous that I’ve written something on guitar that’s better than anything you’ve written,” Roger sniffed.

Brian looked affronted. “I’m the guitarist, I have a right to be offended, and no, it’s not better than mine.”

Roger scoffed. “You’ve written exactly two songs—”

“Two and a half,” said Brian pointedly.

“Oh, sorry, two and a half. And exactly one of them is written with an electric guitar piece, and the other one is on... what?” Roger searched for the word. “A ukulele?! This is rock ‘n’ roll, Brian, not bloody folk music!”

“Folk music?!”

“You play the ukulele?” you interjected.

Brian glanced at you. “Not very well, but—”

“He’s going to learn to play the harp too,” Freddie added. “For my new song.”

With a smile in your direction, Deacy said, “You know he plays the piano as well, Y/N?”

You blinked at Brian. Talk about multi-talented.

“Concentrate for a fucking second!” Roger exclaimed, and everyone jumped. “No, don’t concentrate on Y/N, Brian.”

Brian sputtered, throwing up his arms, “I wasn’t—”

“It’s not going on the album, Roger,” Deacy shrugged. He seemed not to dislike the concept of the song, so much as to be getting back at Roger for discrediting his own song writing abilities.  

Roger turned to Freddie, pleadingly.

Freddie sighed.

Roger’s face was at this point red with frustration, and he marched from the room.

“Roggie, we can discuss this,” Freddie appealed.

“Can’t,” Roger called back.

Freddie took one look at you all, and you followed him as he hurried after Roger.

You heard a slam! and then a clicking noise, and you frowned, puzzled. Roger had disappeared.

“Roger?”

“Roger, stop this. Where are you?”

“Rog?”

“Go away,” came Roger’s muffled voice.

Deacy raised his eyebrows, catching on before the rest of you. “This trick is getting old, Roger.”

“What the hell—” Brian yanked the handle of a cupboard door. “Oh, you can’t be serious.”

Roger had locked himself inside the cupboard. Just like he’d locked you and Brian in the kitchen.

“Oh, I’m serious,” said Roger. “Put the bloody song on the album, or you’ve lost your drummer.”

“To a cupboard?” inquired John politely.

“...Yes.”

Freddie barked a laugh. “You’ll starve, Roger.”

“Uh,” you began, “sorry to be a downer, but uh, he won’t starve.”

“What?”

“That’s the pantry,” you muttered.

“Why the hell does it have a lock?!” cried Freddie.

“I don’t know! I didn’t design this place!”

Brian placed a gentle hand on your shoulder, and you looked up at him in surprise. “Don’t you have a key?” he said.

Your mouth fell open. “God, I’m actually stupid.”

“No, you’re noooot,” sang Roger from inside the cupboard. “I’ve got it.”

Freddie mumbled something along the lines of, “Well. Fuck.”

“Anyone feel like picking a lock?” Deacy ran a hand through his hair, rested his hands on his hips.

“Or you could just put the fucking song on the fucking album,” said Roger.

“Are we sure you’re the one with the temper, Bri?” you asked.

There was silence. Freddie nodded at you solemnly, eyes wide.

Brian sighed, his hand slipping from your shoulder. Instinctively, you reached up to touch the spot where his fingers had previously curled, soft and warm.

“No one’s winning any points here, Freddie,” Deacy said diplomatically, after at least a full minute of silence. “Let’s just put the song on the album. I’m sure it’ll be fine. It is just a song, after all, you know.”

“Listen to the wise man,” Roger intoned.

“That’s a good line…” Brian mused. Then he sighed again. “You’re so full of yourself, Roger.”

“So that's a yes, then?”

“Fine. But you owe me a siding.”

“A siding?” you asked.

“Next time there’s an argument,” John explained, “which will quite frankly be very soon, Roger has to take Brian’s side.”

“Ah,” you nodded in understanding.

“Freddie?” Roger piped. “I’m not coming out of here until you say yes too.”

Freddie tapped his foot against the floorboards. “Fine, but only because I’m nice, you bastard.”

“That’s actually rather contradictory, Freddie,” said Deacy.

“No, it’s not. I’m the nice one, he’s the bastard.”

“Okay Fred,” Brian replied, unconvinced.

Just then, Heather entered the hall, dressed in a kimono-esque garment you were sure was Roger’s. “Morning, all. Has anyone seen Roger?”

“Ha!” said Freddie. “No, darling. Not for the past few minutes. But god, we’ve heard him. Makes a frightful racket when he doesn’t get what he wants.”

Heather smirked. “Oh I know.”

Deacy laughed.

Freddie shook the cupboard handle, “Roger, are you coming out of the closet or what?”

“Ha ha, very funny.” There was a rattling, and then the cupboard door swung open. Roger stood there, eating a strawberry licorice rod.

You crossed your arms. “You can’t possibly have got hungry in so little time.”

“Peckish,” Roger shrugged. “Good morning, beautiful,” he swept over to Heather and they embraced.

“Ick,” Freddie waved a hand. “Get a room.

“They have a room,” Deacy pointed out.

Brian muttered, “Well, get back to it.”

You laughed.

“Mm, well, anyway, I came to ask why the hell you left our room in such a mess,” Heather jabbed Roger’s chest with a finger.

“You sure that’s not your mess, sweetheart?”

You looked at Heather. “You just came here to kiss your boyfriend, didn’t you?”

“Maybe… Yeah. Sorry Rog. But I also came to ask Y/N if she’s coming with us..?”

“Where’s who going?”

“To town. Veronica and Mary and I, I mean. When we get back, we’re going down the hill to play tennis. We saw your dad earlier, and he showed us where to find the rackets and everything.”

You paused, considering.

“Decisions, decisions,” said Brian.

“Shush, I’m thinking,” you poked his side, and he yelped, leaping away. You raised your eyebrows at him.

“Oh, he’s ticklish,” said Freddie helpfully.

A devilish smile formed on your lips, to which Brian shook his head slowly.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

He flushed in response.

“Y/N? Coming or not?”

“Huh? Oh. Yeah, about that...”

“Or you can come with us to the studio,” suggested Brian.

You didn’t really want to go into town, and Brian had just given you the perfect excuse not to.

Freddie seemed to register your disinclination as well because he said, “Never mind, Y/N. You took too long to decide, so now you don’t get a choice. I need you in the studio with us.”

Heather seemed to accept this explanation, though really, as your closest friend, she should have known you wouldn’t have wanted to go into town. Her lack of friend-intuition likely stemmed from the fact that the two of you had been spending less and less time together as of late. You were hanging out more with Queen, and you supposed, though Heather and Roger were often together, that you were beginning to be closer with the members of Queen than you had ever been with Heather. The thought struck in you a great feeling of melancholy, and for a moment you thought of changing your mind about going with her and Ronnie and Mary, so as to spend more time with her, your best friend.

But Heather wasn’t struck by any such notions of pensive sadness. “Oh well, it appears you’re needed here,” she said. “Want anything from the shops?”

“Wouldn’t mind a chocolate bar,” you smiled.

“Done,” Heather winked at you. “Bye, Rog,” she kissed his cheek and departed.

“Now,” Freddie clasped his hands, “let’s get to the studio.”

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

“Right,” you said decisively. “Try ‘People of the Earth’ again.”

It was four weeks since Roger had locked himself in a cupboard to make the others accept his car song onto the new album, and every day since that had been spent hard at work, with only the evenings devoted to relaxing.

Every morning, you would rise at seven and be in the studio half an hour later, where Roadie-John and Crystal would help you to set up, in time for the others to come and tune instruments and arrange various things at about eight o’clock. The days were then spent writing and recording demos, though mostly writing, as tapes had to be done on handheld recorders, since the studio was not yet fully furnished— your dad still had to install a soundbooth and proper recording equipment.  

In the late afternoons and evenings, there were fiercely competitive tennis matches, particularly between your dad and Deacy, who got along as well as ever. There were trips to the pub where your mum greeted you all with discounted pints, there were games of croquet and pool, and everywhere you looked, there was Brian, with some camera or another, from Polaroid to Pentax to an Iloca Rapid stereo camera.

From candids to posed shots, he took pictures of you all, all the time, at every spare moment, though Brian himself always avoided being in front of the camera. You got the feeling that he was, strangely, camera shy. You found it very sweet, though, and so it became a challenge for you to try to take pictures of Brian. He countered this with a challenge of his own, and soon the two of you were fighting a photography war. The result was far too many rolls of film peppered with blurry and out-of-focus images, but Brian didn’t seem to mind that his film was being used on this. He was always smiling when he was taking pictures.

It had yet to be warm enough for you all to take advantage of the swimming pool, but as the days got longer and the sun rose higher in the sky, the indoors would grow stuffy, and the sparkling blue-green water would become a sight for sore eyes.

Freddie now had three songs completely finished, with at least another two in the works. One in particular was quite dear to him, and enthralled you all; it was segments of several different songs woven together in an incredibly artistic manner, and for every day that passed, Freddie added even more segments. He went to such lengths to ensure the song’s perfection that one day, he even declared your dad’s piano unsuitable, instead having a piano of his own, a white grand piano, moved in. It had been an absolute ordeal to get that piano into Ridge Farm’s little studio, and you were sure you that even if you lived to be a hundred and four, you would never forget the shouting and the swearing and the sweating and the laughing and plotting entailed by the piano-shifting day.

Brian, on the other hand, still had only managed to write two songs, and bits and pieces of a third; you teased him that he was becoming more the band’s photographer than their guitarist. Roger continued to work on his car song, but poor Deacy had yet to write anything at all.

Today was Friday, and the five of you had been at work for hours, stopping briefly for a lunch of sandwiches in the garden. You were acting both manager and producer for Queen, and currently, the four of you were trying to help Brian to develop his half-song. It wasn’t going particularly well.

The midafternoon was warm, and the touch of sunlight upon your skin was making you drowsy, and making the others overly finicky and short-tempered. Especially Brian, to whom the pressure was presently applied.

He was running his fingers through his curls every few minutes, and his posture seemed worse than usual when he paced the room, unable to stand still for the frustration of not being able to bring into existence the whisper of a song that danced around his head.

“Vocals, I assume?” said Freddie.

“Yep. Let’s do that.” Your eyes were on Brian, who had kicked off his shoes and was chewing his bottom lip. He didn’t really look up to yet another failed attempt at harmonies and melodies, in fact, he didn’t look up to anything. But you were on a schedule and had to power on, at least for a little while longer.

“Count us in, Y/N?” Roger asked, and you nodded.

“One, two, three, four…”

Oh, oh, people of the earth!

"Listen to the warning," the prophet he said

For soon the cold of night will fall

Summoned by your own hand

The harmonies rose and the four of them made it successfully through a verse, sung as it would have been live, meaning that John was contributing too, though he declined to do so for any of the actual recordings that would happen in the future. A whole verse was quite a feat, one that hadn’t been achieved for the past hour, and you motioned for them to continue through the next verse.

Ah, ah, children of the land

Quicken to the new life, take my hand—

On this line, Brian’s eyes flicked to yours, and in them you saw desperation. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and his mouth twisted in a grimace. Take my hand seemed a cry for help.

“You know what,” you interrupted quickly, “I think that’s enough for today.”

“Thank goodness,” said Deacy at once, stepping away from the practice microphone he had been sharing with the others. “I’ll go out on a limb here and say a swim is a good idea..?” He looked around, and the others nodded with defeated temperaments.

Brian in particular concerned you; he was basically swaying at this point. Roger seemed to notice this too.

“Brian, mate, have you had enough water to drink today?”

Brian shook his head, dazedly.

Freddie frowned.“No, I think not.”

“Here, have mine.” You retrieved your water bottle and brought it to Brian. He clutched it but said nothing, and worry roiled in your stomach. Deacy took his arm and guided him over to sit down on the piano bench.

You gathered around Brian, and Roger nudged his hand. “Go on then, have some water.”

Bri unscrewed the cap of your water bottle in a mechanical manner, raising the bottle to his lips and drinking slowly.

“Far too hot in here,” you muttered. “Really must get dad to fix the blinds and the fans.”

“‘S alright,” Brian managed, but he still seemed rather faint, his skin pale and clammy in appearance. The others looked worried, and you wondered if they’d been faced with a similar situation before.

“Come on, darling,” said Freddie. “Let’s get you outside, some fresh air, yes?”

Brian nodded, and together, you and Freddie helped him up.

Outside, you locked the door to the studio while the others deposited Brian on a conveniently-placed bench.

For a few minutes, you and Deacy sat with Brian in silence while he sipped his water and kept out of the sun, and Freddie and Roger had a smoke.

Then Brian finally spoke.

“Thank you,” he said, handing back your empty water bottle. “Sorry I drank all of it.” He winced, and you hoped that it wasn’t because he still wasn’t feeling well.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. Plenty more water where it came from. And I’m sure you’ll need more. Don’t want a second incident of overheating.”

He chuckled softly, and you knew then that he was on the mend.

“Shall we join the others and go for a swim?” John suggested again as the five of you walked back toward the main house. Amongst you, it was quickly agreed to meet by the pool in ten minutes, and so all went their separate ways to get changed.

Eight minutes later, you had swapped cotton for nylon, coated your skin in sunscreen, and slung a towel over one arm. The pool was down the hill, by the tennis courts, and as you followed the path, the others came into view.

Mary and Heather were lying in a pair of yellowed sun chairs, chatting, while Ronnie and Deacy appeared to be having a water fight in the pool, teamed up against Roadie-John and Crystal. The Tetzlaff-Deacon forces were winning, pushing Crystal and Roadie-John farther and farther to their side of the pool, but then again, the roadies seemed to be going easy on their enemies, seeing as Ronnie was nearly nine months pregnant. Roger was sitting on the edge of the pool with his legs in the water, his face turned to the sun and his sunglasses ever-present on his face.

Freddie came down the path behind you, and when he made it to the pool, he threw down his towel and dove straight in.

When Freddie bobbed back up to the surface, Roger splashed him, as payback for having been splashed. Freddie retaliated by pulling Roger into the water by his legs, to which the latter yelped.

“It’s COLD!” he shrieked, and Freddie laughed.

Spotting you, Freddie motioned toward the water. “Come in, darling, it’s lovely.”

“I think I believe Roger more than you, Freddie,” you narrowed your eyes.

“Oh,” said Heather, “don’t. He’s a bit of a wimp, you know.”

“Hey!” cried Roger indignantly. “Then why haven’t you got in, Heather?”

Heather glanced over at Mary, who shrugged. “Your funeral,” she said.

Heather tugged off her coverup, and before Mary could object, grabbed her arm and leapt into the pool, Mary screaming before the two of them plunged under.

“Oi!” said Deacy as they splashed himself and Ronnie, and Heather giggled while Mary shook her drenched head of hair.

“Oh come on, Mary,” Crystal splashed her. She glared, then splashed him back, laughing.

“Y/N, get in!” Ronnie called to you.

You’d put down your towel on a sunchair, and now stood eyeing the pool warily.

It was a large pool, both long and wide, which meant there was more than enough room for all the people already in it. But it wasn’t the pool’s occupancy that deterred you, so much as its temperature. And the fact that Brian was nowhere to be seen.

“I don’t know, Ronnie…”

“The more the merrier!” said Roadie-John.

Roger shoved him. “Don’t say that. It sounds creepy when you say it like that.”

Roadie-John looked at Crystal, who nodded. “Yeah, mate…”

“Sorry, Y/N.”

“It’s fine, it’s not that, it’s just…”

“Spit it out, lovey,” Freddie said, and now everyone was looking up at you.

Add self-consciousness to the list, check. You wrapped your arms around yourself.

“Has anyone seen Brian? He did almost faint, you know.”

“Oh, she’s worried about him, poor love,” cooed Mary. The others made similar noises, Roger contributing kissy faces.

You gave them a murderous look. “Seriously! Are we sure he didn’t just go inside and pass out somewhere?”

“No… We can’t be sure, if we haven’t seen him…” Freddie pursed his lips.

“So you haven’t seen him?” Your hands were growing sweaty, and you wrung them.

“No,” said Deacy, “not until now.” A sly smile spread across his face.

You frowned. “What—”

“Hello, love.”

Arms wrapped around your waist and soft breath tickled your skin, but you had no time to register any of this, because suddenly, you were flying through the air toward the swimming pool, and the water was rushing up to meet you, and you were squealing.

You went under, and the water really was cold, but not like ice, just enough to shock the last of the drowsiness from your being. It was quite nice, actually, to feel awake for once.

In a rush of bubbles, you returned to the surface and whipped your head about wildly, searching for Brian as the others laughed. It turned out that he was right behind you, again, smiling brilliantly and smoothing down his curls.

“Oh, you bastard!” you cried, giving him a hefty shove, and he laughed, splashing you. You shook your head, spraying him with water. “And to think I was worried about you, Bri.”

“Awh, worried about me? What’d I do this time?” He tilted his head to one side, gazing at you expectantly, all doe-eyes and soft lips. With a jolt, you realised that you wanted to pull him to you and kiss the gentle curve of his mouth till he melted against you.

You blushed.

Freddie gasped delightedly. “Oh look, she’s blushing!”

“Awww,” Roger chimed, and you considered drowning them both.

You rolled your eyes in their direction, regaining your composure before looking at Brian again.

Oh, how hard it would be to look at Brian now, when such thoughts had stumbled through your head. But you forced yourself to do it, because you had a façade to uphold.

“You were feeling a bit faint, earlier?” you said casually. “I know your type. Slightly weak constitutions, I’m afraid.” You paused to examine your nails, frowning at invisible specks of dirt.

“You know my type?” Brian crossed his arms over his slim frame, narrowing his eyes. But a smile played on his lips. “And is it yours?”

Your eyes widened, you dropped your hand.

Roger spoke your thoughts, “Bit forward, Brian?”

Brian shrugged his angular shoulders, nonchalant. “Only a question. She must have experience, if she’s asserting she knows my type.”

You crossed your arms too. “Oh yeah I have,” you drawled. “I’ve got loads of experience.”

Deacy practically snorted with laughter. Brian raised his eyebrows at you.

You stepped toward him, squaring your shoulders and raising your chin. “Does that bother you, Brian?”

The sun cast shadows across his face, and his hair fluttered in the breeze. The cool air whispered across your skin, but you didn’t shiver, you weren’t cold. You felt hot all over, even as you stood motionless beneath his hazel eyes.

His lips parted, and when he leaned down, his voice was low, a hum.

“Should it?”

A piece of your precious façade crumbled.

The others couldn’t possibly have heard what he’d said, and he’d clearly meant for it to be this way. But it had brought you back to reality. The reality which was that had you pulled him down to kiss you, he would have pushed you away.

Oh, how wrong can you be. Desire had very briefly blinded you to his lack of the same for you. You wouldn’t let it happen again.

“No,” you said, “but this should!” You splashed him and he gave a cry, and a small water fight ensued.

This then led to Roger’s organisation of a water war, where he insisted upon teams of girls vs. boys, until Freddie pointed out that the uneven numbers would place Roger on the girls team, “Seeing as you look the part, Rog”. Roger quickly changed his mind, though not before whacking Freddie. The teams ended up with you, Roadie-John, Freddie, and Mary pitted against Brian, Roger, Crystal, and Heather, while Deacy settled Veronica against the cushions of a sunchair.

There was no way to count points, so the war, which was really more of a battle, finished after about half an hour, when more than one person had complained of tired arms, and the rest of you had realised that it was impossible for either side to win.

Half of the party stayed swimming, but you, Mary, Freddie, and Brian were cold, and elected to join Ronnie and Deacy on the deck.

Unfortunately, the sun was more harsh than some people— i.e. Brian— had anticipated, and so, after a good long drowse on the deck, some people were starting to look a bit pink. Actually, a bit pink was putting it nicely.

He was lying on his stomach with his face turned away from the light, curls falling partially over his eyes. His skin did not have a tendency to freckle, but his cheeks were rosy and the little lines at the corners of his eyes were deepened by the sun, giving him the glow of someone who smiled often, even when his lips were slack and soft and the expression could not have been farther from his serene features.

Having laid your towel down beside Brian’s, you now reached over to tap his hand.

“Bri?”

“Mmm?” He barely stirred, but he had not been asleep, only dozing, his exhale gentle and his shoulders relaxed.

“Did you put sunscreen on?”

His eyes fluttered open. “Oh shit,” he murmured, and he couldn’t have said anything more prettily. “Am I burnt to a crisp?” he asked languidly, the corner of his mouth turning up.

In a breath, your eyes skimmed over his bare waist, back, shoulders, returned to his face and his half-smile.

“Very nearly,” you said. He shifted an arm experimentally, then winced. Pressing his face into his towel, he let out a groan.

“Whatever is the matter, Brian?” Freddie said over a cup of tea, tipping his sunglasses down his nose.

“Burmpt,” he mumbled into the towel.

“He’s got a sunburn,” you translated for Freddie.

“Ah.”

Deacy, hearing your conversation, leaned over to his wife. “My dear, didn’t you say you brought aloe vera, just in case?”

Veronica blinked sleepily before registering what John had said. “Oh, yes, I did. It’s in the downstairs bathroom, in my toiletries bag. You’re welcome to it, Brian.”

Brian raised his head again, squinting at Ronnie.

“Darling,” Freddie interjected, “he doesn’t know what your bag looks like.”

Veronica gestured to you, “Y/N, you know the one, the cream-tone bag with the silver edging.” You nodded, and she turned back to Brian. “Just take Y/N with you, she’ll show you.”

Brian sighed, then rolled onto his side and sat up gingerly.

He held a hand up over his eyes. “Feel like a stroll, Y/N?”

You stood, stretching your legs. “I would be a terrible friend if I said no.”

“And you’re not, you’re a wonderful friend, so you’re coming with me..?”

“You don’t have to ask. Come on.”

You picked up your towel and slung it over your shoulders, starting back up the path.

Brian was right behind you, taking careful steps to avoid particularly sharp pieces of gravel because he had once again neglected to wear shoes. It was never proper shoes with Brian; he alternated between clogs and socks and being barefoot entirely. With this, and his delicate countenance and curling hair and faraway thoughts, he was afforded the air of some woodland nymph or fairy.

He was beautiful.

You were very well aware.

Inside the house, you quickly found Veronica’s bag and the aloe vera.

Entering the living room where Brian was waiting, you triumphantly tossed the bottle into the air and caught it again. “Ta-daa,” you presented your find to Bri.

“Oh, brilliant!” he said as you passed him the bottle. “It is actually beginning to hurt quite a bit.” He touched his shoulder absently, then grimaced.

“Now that,” you said, “does not look like fun.” You made a face, then went into the adjoining kitchen to get a glass of water.

“How come I’m the only one who got burnt?” you heard him ask petulantly.

“Because, Brian dear, the rest of us put on sunscreen. And you are on the pale side of things.”

“Oh hush,” he said with exasperation, “you’re starting to sound like Freddie.”

You laughed, but you had also been in the process of drinking your water, so it came out like more of a cough.

“You alright in there?” Brian called.

“Yeah, fine,” you said, wiping the water from your chin. “I just can’t drink water like a normal person.”

“At least you don’t forget to, then nearly faint into your bandmates’ arms.”

“True,” you conceded, and he scoffed.

“Make me feel better, why don’t you?”

“What about you? You okay in there with that aloe vera?”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t taste very nice.”

You rushed into the living room, “Brian! You’re not supposed to drink it!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he said, laughter in his eyes at the look on your face. “Christ, love, you’re like a deer in headlights.”

Your stomach tumbled— there it was again, the endearment.

Never darling or dearie, like Freddie; never sweetheart like Rog; never dear, as Deacy occasionally dubbed you. Always lovely, or love, as though he had such to give to you. And when Brian loved, it was fierce. You could see that from how the passing or his aunt haunted him, and how he still missed the cat he’d had in his childhood. His love for those around him was wholly consuming. The disapproval of his father picked him apart from the inside, he defended his friends with valour and gall when not physically pulling them from a fight, and it was plain that he would continue to do so for as long as he lived. But whomever he loved and however it was he loved, he did not love you.

And would never, for as long as he lived.

“Y/N?”

“Sorry, lost my train of thought,” you shook your head.

His brow furrowed. “Sure you’re alright?”

“Doin’ alriiiiight,” you sang.

Brian gave a laborious sigh, rubbing aloe vera over his shoulders. “You really need to spend less time with Freddie,” he said.

“What?” you leaned against the doorframe. “And spend more time with you instead?” You couldn’t help yourself, you couldn’t stop yourself from saying it. But Brian took it in stride.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” he said with a smile, and you were glad you were leaning against something; your legs couldn’t have carried you at that moment, had your life depended on it.

“Y/N,” Brain began hesitantly, “there’s something I have to tell you—”

“Knock knock!” came a shout from the front door, and you and Bri turned toward the sound. Veronica waddled into sight a few seconds later, and you went into the kitchen to greet her. “Found the aloe vera?” she asked.

“Yes,” Brian nodded. “Thank you.”

“No trouble,” Ronnie eased herself into a chair by the dining table. “And I’m sure Y/N could—” She gasped.

“Ronnie?” you asked, as Brian said, “Are you okay?”

Veronica raised her eyes slowly. “I think my water just broke.”

“Uh,” you began. “And what day is it..?”

“It’s the eighteenth of July,” said Brian.

“That’s… early,” you frowned, rooted to the spot because you were quite clueless as to what to do.

Then you looked at Veronica. Her eyes were wide and her hands were shaking, and she’d gone quite pale. “That’s why I’m panicking!” she cried.

“Right,” Brian sprang into action, sweeping over to Ronnie and helping her up. “Let’s get you cleaned up and ready to go, Veronica. The contractions won’t be long now. Y/N, would you run down and fetch John— and Roger, since he’s the only one with a car— please?”

He looked at you almost pleadingly, as though you would ever have said no.

“Yes, of course,” you breathed, and hurtled out the door.

You rounded the corner to the swimming pool and tennis courts almost before you could notice how far you’d run. You’d never run this fast in your life, and after today, you did not intend to do it ever again.

“DEACY!” you shouted, and he got up from his sunchair immediately. Everyone else looked equally alarmed, no doubt with the same questions in mind that John voiced.

“What is it? What’s happened? Are you alright—”

“Yes, yes, god, I’m fine. But Veronica’s water just broke.”

“Oh fuck,” Deacy swore, throwing on a t-shirt and losing his sunglasses in the process. Freddie picked them up swiftly, put them back on John’s head.

“Roger,” you called, “we’re gonna need you to drive.”

“I’m coming,” he said, pulling on his shoes whilst hopping from foot to foot. “Deacs,” he clapped his friend on the back because Deacy had gone completely still. “Let’s go.”

Deacy nodded, swallowed. “I’m going to be a father,” he croaked.

“Yes yes,” said Freddie, “and a wonderful one at that. Now, away with you, darlings.” Freddie gave them both a push toward the path. “And what do you need from us, Y/N?”

“Stay here and make sure you’re by a telephone,” you said. “I’ve got to go with them— to give directions. And please tell my parents where we’ve gone, if you see them!”

“Will do,” Freddie was all business. He called to Deacy, “Good luck, dearie!” and the others echoed similar sentiments from about the pool.

You resolved that one more run wouldn’t hurt too much, and followed Deacy and Roger’s jog toward the main house.

Inside, Brian was waiting with Veronica, a glass of water and a packed bag of her things sitting beside her as he rubbed her shoulders. Brian himself had put on a button-up shirt, but had once more left his top two buttons undone. The sight of him undid you a little bit.

“See, John’s here now,” he said soothingly, and Ronnie gave a little cry, arms outstretched for her husband. “Her contractions have started,” Brian explained.

Deacy ran to his wife and hugged her gently. “Shhh, my dear, I’m here now. And Roger’s got the car keys, so we can go.”

Roger held up his keys triumphantly, then rushed back outside to start the Alfa Romeo. In response, Veronica only nodded mutely, burying her face in Deacy’s shoulder and clinging tightly to fistfuls of his t-shirt.

“Come on, let’s get you up,” Brian murmured, and he and Deacy helped Ronnie to walk toward the door. “Y/N, would you take that bag, please?”

“Yep,” you grabbed the bag and followed the others outside, shutting the door behind you.

Deacy and Brian aided Veronica into the backseat of Roger’s car, and you hopped into the passenger’s seat as Roger shifted gears and pulled out of the driveway.

Roger drove toward town, and made it successfully through in less than thirty minutes, by the combined efforts of speeding and ignoring traffic laws entirely.

“Now, help me out, Y/N,” he said, as a crossroads was reached, and you began to give directions.

In total, the drive took about forty minutes, and with Veronica’s contractions getting closer together, it was a relief to everyone involved when you told Roger to pull into the car park of the Royal Surrey County Hospital.

Out of the car went Ronnie, and you all hurried into the hospital building.

Deacy was swept away with his wife, leaving you and Roger and Brian to stand around aimlessly in the lobby.

The rush of urgency that had pounded through you in getting to the hospital had diminished and slowed now that you knew that your friend and her future child were in good hands, accompanied by the loving husband and father to-be. Deacy may have gone stock still when you’d first arrived by the poolside with the news of Veronica’s condition, but like Brian, when faced with the situation itself, he was a natural, and it was easy to see that he was going to be a wonderful father.

“Well, thank god that’s over,” Roger said, falling back into a chair.

Brian scoffed, taking the seat adjacent. “For you, maybe. The poor woman’s still got to go through labour for christ knows how many hours.”

“And once again,” Roger sighed, pushing his hair from his face and adjusting his sunglasses, “I am glad that I am not a woman. I was stressed enough driving up here, as it was.”

“Were you really,” said Brian dryly. “I had no idea.”

“Well then you’re a bit daft, aren’t you?”

“Sarcasm, Rog. That was sarcasm.”

Roger only rolled his eyes in response. “Come sit down, Y/N. We probably won’t be leaving anytime soon.”

You sat down in the chair next to Brian, though not intentionally; it was the last chair in the row.

“Blimey, these chairs are uncomfortable,” you remarked, having tried to straighten your posture and only succeeded in ailing your back more.

“I’ll second that,” said Roger, shifting in his seat. “And we’ve only been here for two minutes.”

But Brian looked at you more closely. “Back giving you trouble?” he asked.

Your back was giving you trouble, because since coming home to Ridge Farm, you’d been playing guitar every day for two hours at a time, outside of the hours Brian still taught you on Thursday nights, and your posture was getting worse and worse for every session you practiced.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “I have terrible posture, and given that I’m teaching you, you’ve probably learned from the worst.”

“You two are getting old,” said Roger.

“With every revolution of the Earth we are aging, yes,” Brian replied. “But as are you, Roger, so don’t get too cocky. The universe might just throw an asteroid in your direction, out of spite.”

“No science talk, please,” Roger flapped a hand. “I’m on holiday.”

“I thought Ridge Farm was for working on the album,” you said.

“Work, play, it all sort of blurs together,” Roger sighed. “And anyway, I’m not the one turning twenty-bloody-seven tomorrow, Brian.”

Brian winced.

But this was news to you. “Your birthday is tomorrow?”

“Mmm…”

“And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“Why,” Brian smiled, “were you planning on getting me something?”

You folded your arms. “Well, I would have, only there’s no time now.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Y/N,” Roger said, “he doesn’t like a fuss. Silly ol’ Bri always spends so much time fussing over everyone else that it gets to be too much when people fuss over him.”

Brian sank farther into his chair, his cheeks flushing. “If I didn’t tell you to do your washing, Roger, you never would.”

“Yes, mum,” Roger made a face, then picked up a magazine from the side table, obviously not interested in discussing his lack of homelife skills.

Brian blushed again, and smoothed a hand across his cheek.

Why he was embarrassed for being a genuinely caring and thoughtful person, you did not understand. Brian was the one whom everybody turned to for help, no matter the situation, and even when they did not ask for help, he knew instinctively when he was needed, waiting by their side to take them by the hand and make everything all right again.

At least, that was how you saw it.

“That’s not silly, though,” you murmured. “If everyone acted like that, the world would be a far better place.”

“I don’t know about that,” said Brian, “but thank you, Y/N.”

But you weren’t finished. “Back there with Veronica, I had no idea what to do. I just stood there.”

He touched the side of his nose, looking down at his feet. “Nothing special. Just instinct. I could have done more, really.”

You shook your head. “But it is something special, Brian. People don’t think like that.”

Brian looked up. “You do,” he said, unwaveringly.

“Not enough to act on it.”

“I—”

“Just shut up and accept the compliment. You’re a star, Bri.”

Faint amusement flitted across his face, as though he didn’t quite believe you, the corners of his eyes softening. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, glancing down with that adorable half-smile still on his lips.

Then he reached over and took your hand from where it lay on the armrest of the chair.

He dipped his head as you looked up at him, his curls falling over his face and shrouding you both in shadow, creating a little world that existed only for the two of you beneath the fluorescent lights of the hospital lobby.

His slender fingers tightened around yours, and his gaze warmed you, like basking in sunshine by the seaside.

“Thank you,” he murmured, and your heart followed.

⁺˚*·༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺

A/N: i slipped into a bit of borhap dialogue there, oops... also, ‘the prophet’s song’ was originally named ‘people of the world’, so that’s why that’s like that :)

taglist: @melting-obelisks​ @stardust-killer-queen​ @hgmercury39​ @topsecretdeacon @joemazzmatazz​ @perriwiinkle​ @brianmays-hair​ @iamsuperconfusedallthetime-dead @im-an-adult-ish​ @ilikebigstucks​​ @doing-albri​ @killer-queen-87​ @n0-self-c0ntro1​ @archaicmusings​

Masterpost / Part 10 / Part 12

[rushingheadlong]

Take Me Home Tonight - A Brian x Reader smut fic

Summary: You’re not expecting Brian May, of all people, to walk into your record shop late one evening, but when he asks you to go home with him you’re certainly not going to pass on the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have all your fantasies fulfilled.

Wordcount: ~4,600

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, oral (m&f receiving), fingering, a bit of size kink

Notes: Written for a request from @hodgepodge-of-rog, who asked for Reader meeting Brian somewhere public and being star struck, and Brian taking her home for some fun. This got away from me so it’s a bit longer than expected, but I hope you like it!

You bite back another sigh and try to resist looking at the clock again. It’s not that you thought working in the little record shop was a particularly exciting gig when you applied for the job, but the business was tucked away off the high street and rarely saw customers on weeknights, leaving you with nothing to do for the long hours of your shift and frequently bored out of your mind.

Luckily it’s almost time for you to close the shop- but, of course, that’s when the little bell above the door rings, signalling the arrival of your first customer in nearly four hours.

“Good evening!” you chirp, sounding much more perky than you feel. “Do you need help-?”

The rest of the question is lost as you finally take a good look at the customer: a tall man with a shock of long, dark curls, wearing sunglasses that don’t really work as an effective disguise. Holy fuck that’s Brian May!

He glances in your direction with a polite smile, and then does a quick double-take as his grin becomes a bit more genuine. “No thanks. I know what I’m looking for, and I know you’re closing soon.”

And yeah, that is definitely Brian May. You’d recognize his voice anywhere- how could you not? He’s your favorite member of Queen, has been since the very earliest days of the band. You’ve seen them perform live countless times, screamed yourself hoarse at so many of their shows throughout the years, and you thought the time that you weaseled your way to stand by the very front of the stage would be as close as you ever got to any of them.

But that was before Brian freaking May walked into the tiny record shop where you worked.

You swallow roughly, trying to bring some moisture to your suddenly-dry mouth, and say, “Take your time, there’s no rush.” Not the sentiment you’d have for any other customer, this time of night, but you’re in no rush for Brian to leave.

“I’ll still be quick,” Brian says with another grin that makes your knees go weak. His gaze lingers on you for a few moments longer, and although his eyes are hidden behind his dark sunglasses you can feel the intensity behind his stare. It’s a heady rush, having your rock idol focus on you like that, and you can feel your face start to flush at the attention.

Or maybe it’s just unusually warm in the shop tonight, because Brian looks a bit pink around the edges as well as he turns to start browsing through the records.

You try not to ogle Brian as he shops but there’s not exactly anything else for you to do and you find your focus wandering back to him despite your efforts. Somehow he seems both larger-than-life and surprisingly down-to-earth, seeming at home in the cramped aisles of the store but with something about the way he carries himself that makes it obvious he’s someone special.

And the fact that he’s easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either. Even in normal clothes and trying to be discrete Brian is still just about one of the hottest men you’ve ever seen. You let yourself entertain a familiar fantasy of Brian asking you back to his place… but no, things like that didn’t happen in real life, and you were determined to be polite and not a giant creep to Brian.

Okay, keep it cool, just keep it cool… You repeat to yourself as Brian finally makes his way towards the register, but then all thoughts go out the window because Brian is there, right in front of you, and you feel like you could either faint or scream from the excitement of it all.

“Did you find everything you were looking for?” you ask, and how you manage to keep your voice from wavering when you’re this close to Brian May you have no idea. Christ, the man even smells good…

“Yeah I did, thanks,” Brian says, still with an easy smile on his face.

You look down at the album that Brian hands you and despite your best efforts you can’t hold back a bark of laughter. “You’re joking.”

Brian bristles, just a little, and his smile fades away. “Judging my taste in music?”

“No, but…” You flip the record around so the cover of the latest Queen release is facing Brian. “You’re buying your own album? Seriously?”

“Right.” Brian visibly relaxes and he laughs a little as well, though it sounds a bit sheepish. “Guess my disguise didn’t work too well then, huh?”

“Well, not on me, at least,” you say. “I’ve been going to your shows since before John signed on as your bassist, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen every interview you’ve ever given. It’ll take more than a cheap pair of sunglasses to fool me.”

Brian stares at you in surprise. It’s only then that your brain catches up with what you’re saying, and you can feel your face go bright red with embarrassment. But then Brian chuckles and finally takes off his sunglasses (oh, his eyes are gorgeous...) and says, “Well, I’ll try to come up with something better for next time. Any suggestions?”

Brian sounds like he’s teasing you, but it’s not malicious. On the contrary, it’s almost… flirty? Or maybe you’re just too caught up in your fantasies and reading too much into his words.

Still, because you know you’ll never get another chance you flick your eyes up and down his body, just once, and decide to risk a joke. “Maybe if you button your shirt up all the way, that’ll do the trick…”

“What, and hide all my assets?” And, yeah, there’s no mistaking the fact that Brian is definitely flirting with you.

“Seems to me like you have plenty of other fine assets,” you tease, and Brian’s bright laugh in response feels like a victory, even if it’s accompanied by him pulling out his wallet to pay for the record.

Still, you don’t want this conversation to end and you are curious about what he’s doing here, so after you ring him out you ask, “I have to know, why are you buying your own album?”

“Would you believe that Roger bet me a tenner that I wouldn’t be able to do it without getting mobbed by fans?”

You think about that for a moment. “Actually, yeah,” you say, which causes Brian to laugh again. “Sorry for making you lose the bet, then.”

“Hm? Oh, no, I don’t think chatting with you counts as being mobbed,” Brian says. “I’ve quite enjoyed meeting you, actually. What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” Your heart is fluttering in your chest from the attention and the smile on Brian’s face, and all your promises that you weren’t going to be an overbearing fan have completely left your mind as you muster up the courage to ask, “Listen, I totally understand if the answer is “no” but do you want to grab a drink with me?”

You’re expecting him to turn you down, but instead his smile gets brighter and he says, "I'd love to get a drink with you, but if we go out I actually will end up being mobbed. Would you like to come back to my place instead?" Your mouth drops open in a small “o” of surprise and Brian is quick to continue. “Just for drinks. Doesn’t have to be anything more.”

Doesn’t have to be… There’s an offer in that delicate phrasing that restarts your brain, and you need to know if the two of you are on the same page here before this gets any further. “And if I want there to be more?” you ask, and the hunger in Brian’s eyes is answer enough.

“Then I think that can be arranged,” he says, in a low voice that causes a bolt of lust to go through you.

“Then yeah,” you say, a slow and wide smiling growing on your face. “Take me home, Brian May.”

----------

Brian kisses you before his front door is even fully closed, pressing you against the wall of his entryway and devouring you with a passion that you haven’t felt from any of your previous partners. You gasp, the noise swallowed up in Brian’s mouth, and wrap your arms around Brian’s neck, pulling him in closer to you.

When he finally breaks the kiss it’s only to pull back enough to ask, “What do you want tonight, love?”

You shudder at the sound of Brian calling you love and tell him, completely honestly, “Anything you want to give me.”

Brian kisses your lips again, a little softer, and then trails kisses along your jawline and down your neck. You arch into his touch, and you can feel him smile against your skin. “I want to make you feel good,” he murmurs, and you can’t hold back a whimper.

“It’s you, Brian. Whatever you do will be good.” It’s as close as you can bring yourself to admitting that you’ve thought about this for years, gotten yourself off countless times to the thought of Brian’s hands and mouth on you. You don’t even care if Brian doesn’t live up to your fantasies because this is real, and already so much more than you ever expected to have.

“That’s a lot of confidence to have in me,” Brian says, as his hands slip under the hem of your shirt, fingers skimming lightly along your skin, and you gasp at the gentle touch. “Better make sure I don’t disappoint you then.”

He tugs up your shirt and you quickly pull it off. One of Brian’s hands immediately moves up to your breast, cupping and massaging it through your bra, and you can’t hold back a moan. Brian’s other hand flicks open the button on your jeans and slowly, teasingly, pulls down the zipper.

“Wanna taste you, baby,” he murmurs as his fingers tease at the open V of your pants, driving you wild even though he’s barely touching you at all. “Gonna let me eat you out right here? Gonna let me taste that pussy of yours?”

“Fuck, Bri, yes,” you moan. “Yes, god, please-”

Brian chuckles and hooks his fingers through your belt loops, slowing dragging your jeans down your legs. You step out of them and go to take off your panties as well but Brian stops you. He sinks to his knees in front of you, and that picture is enough to get you absolutely dripping.

You whimper as Brian gently nudges your legs a little further apart and runs one finger slowly, gently, along your core. “You’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” he murmurs, his breath hot against the bare skin of your thighs. “Already so eager for this, and we’ve barely even started…”

“Brian…” you whine, hips bucking into his teasing touch. Brian looks up at you, smirking, and finally tug your panties down.

You unhook your bra and toss it aside as you kick your panties away, and as soon as they’re gone Brian’s mouth is on you. You cry out at the first flick of his tongue against your core and you bring your hand to your mouth to muffle the sounds of you falling apart embarrassingly quickly.

“Come on baby, let me hear you,” Brian says, before licking along your entrance, his tongue dipping in just enough to set your whole body ablaze. You pull your hand away just as Brian’s tongue circles your clit and without thinking you reach out for him, burying your hand in his hair and trying not to pull as he keeps his attention focused on your clit.

He sucks gently at the nub, making you moan and writhe against the wall, but pulling back just when you’re on the brink of coming to lap at your entrance again. You can feel your wetness start to drip down your thighs but Brian doesn’t pull away, keeping his mouth buried against your core and his tongue teasing at your entrance until you’re practically grinding against his face in your desperation to come, before he finally moves back to flick kittenish licks over your clit again.

You’re so worked up that even that gentle stimulation is almost too much to bear. “Bri, I’m gonna- I’m gonna-” you pant and you get a glimpse of Brian’s smirk, before he brings a hand up and sinks one finger inside you.

You let out a choked-off gasp before you’re coming hard against Brian’s face, hand tangled in his hair as you hold him in place, his tongue working your clit and finger gently moving inside you as he works you through your orgasm. He doesn’t stop until the pleasure nearly becomes painful, until your keening moans turn to high-pitched whimpers and your knees finally buckle underneath you.

Brian catches you, laughing a little, and presses you against the wall to keep you upright as he stands back up. His face is wet with your slickness and he goes to wipe his mouth with the back of one hand, but before he gets a chance you lean up and kiss him fiercely. You can taste yourself in his mouth, a visceral reminder that Brian gave you what may be the best oral you’ve ever received, and when Brian groans and rocks against your hip his hardness is a welcome reminder of everything still come.

“God, Brian,” you pant between kisses. “I want-”

“Yeah? What do you want, baby girl?” Brian asks, one hand creeping up your body to tease along the edge of your breast and you arch into his touch.

“Wanna suck you,” you tell him, and reach down to palm Brian’s cock through his jeans. “Please, Bri…”

Brian groans lowly and presses against your hand, his head dropping down as he pants against your neck. “Fuck, Y/N, you think I’m gonna say no to that?”

You laugh, breathless, and let Brian lead you further into the house, back into the bedroom where he finally strips out of his shirt and you tug open the fly of his jeans, kissing him again as you help him get them off. You run your hands down his chest and fuck, just the sight of all that beautiful lean muscle is nearly enough to make you moan. You want to sink your teeth into his skin, leave your marks all over his body so he can’t forget this night, but with how often he appears semi-shirtless in front of cameras you know that’s not a good idea.

So you’ll just have to make sure he remembers you for other reasons instead.

You push Brian down so he’s sitting on the edge of the bed and drop to your knees in front of him. You mouth at his cock through his pants, loving the sound of him groaning above you. You can already tell that he’s well-endowed, a fact which is confirmed when you tug his pants down over his cock and Brian lifts his hips so you can pull them away completely.

“God, you’re huge,” you say, and it comes out sounding more like a moan than you care to admit.

There’s a flush spreading across Brian’s face and he starts to say, “Listen, you don’t have to-”

“That was not a complaint,” you interrupt before Brian can finish that thought, and you lean down to take his cock into your mouth.

Brian cries out as you suck gently at the tip of his cock. His hands flutter above your head, like he’s resisting the urge to hold onto you, and you pull back to mouth along his shaft as you tell him, “You can touch me, Bri, it’s fine.”

That’s all the permission he seems to need and he reaches out for you, just resting his hands in your hair, not forcing anything as you take him back in your mouth and start to bob your head along his length. He’s too big for you to take all the way down but that doesn’t stop you from trying, swallowing him as deeply as you can and working whatever you can’t fit into your mouth with your hands.

The taste of Brian’s precome on your tongue and the sound of his groans filling the room are a heady combination. The knowledge that he’s falling apart because of you, that you’re the one coaxing those sounds out of him, that it’s your mouth working him towards his orgasm, is a rush like nothing else you’ve ever felt.

You look up at him and find that he’s staring down at you, eyes half-lidded with pleasure but still watching you as you work him over. You can’t hold back a small, pleased noise at the image he paints and Brian’s answering moan makes your core start throbbing with need again.

You keep your eyes locked on him as you slowly start to swallow him down, taking him deeper than you had before. The head of his cock hits the back of your throat and you choke, pulling back just enough to take a deep breath and try again. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/N…” Brian pants, his hands tightening in your hair as you relax your throat and let Brian’s cock slip down.

Brian’s cock is large enough that it’s a struggle to hold him in your throat and you still don’t have his entire length in your mouth, but you don’t care. You don’t care because Brian looks overwhelmed with pleasure, the muscles of his legs flexing as he struggles to keep himself from thrusting deeper into your mouth, and all because of you.

You swallow around his cock and Brian cries out loudly, hips stuttering forward once before he’s pulling you away. You whine and try to mouth at his cock again, but Brian holds you back and says, “If you keep that up I’m gonna come before I get a chance to fuck you.”

“Well we can’t have that now, can we?” you tease, although heat pools in your stomach at the thought of Brian coming in your mouth, getting to taste him completely… There’s a twinge of regret at knowing you won’t get to have that, but it’s quickly overshadowed by excitement as Brian coaxes you up to lie on the bed.

He kisses you, a bit more softer this time, before slowly moving down your body, trailing gentle nips and kisses down your neck, teasing over your breasts, and mouthing down your stomach where he sucks a bruise into your hipbone.

“You think you can take me, or do you need a bit of help?” he murmurs against your skin, one hand teasing along your folds and around your entrance. He sinks one finger into you before you have a chance to answer and you gasp, arching off the bed and bearing down on his hand.

“Might- might need you to- ah-” You whine as Brian pushes a second finger inside you and starts to slowly move them. “God, Brian…”

“Need me to open you up?” he asks as he keeps moving his fingers at a steady pace, too slow to get you off like this but it’s enough to get your blood racing and make you so wet that you can hear Brian’s fingers thrusting into you. “Hm? Do you need me to get you ready for my cock?”

“Fuck, yeah, Bri, yeah,” you gasp, rocking your hips to try to get Brian to move faster. “Yeah, god, please, give me another, I can take it…”

Brian chuckles and instead of slipping another finger inside you he pulls away completely. You whimper at the loss, feeling empty and needy without him filling you up, but Brian kisses you again as he reaches over to grab a bottle of lube from the drawer of his nightstand. You don’t notice him slicking up his hand, and you’re taken by surprise when he suddenly sinks three fingers deep inside you.

You cry out, nearly jackknifing off the bed. Brian slings one arm over your hips to hold you in place as he starts fingering you open, scissoring his fingers and curling them up to rub them over that spot inside you that makes you scream.

“Brian, Bri, please, please fuck me, god, please,” you beg, writhing beneath him, barely able to stand the pleasure or the intensity of Brian’s gaze on you.

And Brian, it seems, has had enough of the foreplay as well because he pulls his hand away and quickly rolls on a condom before slicking up his cock. He lines up at your entrance, hesitating only for a moment to look into your eyes; you smile, and nod once, and with a low exhale Brian starts to push in.

He is big, and he feels even bigger as he slowly eases into you. You whine at the uncomfortable stretch and tense up around him. Brian groans and you can feel his cock twitching inside you as Brian stills, barely halfway inside you. “You’ve gotta relax for me, babe,” he pants. He ducks under one of your legs, draping it over his shoulder and opening you up wider for him. “C’mon, let me in…”

You shudder, and try to will yourself to relax. Brian is patient, pressing soft kisses to your inner thigh and waiting for you to be ready, even though he has to be dying to move. After a few moments the burn fades away and the stretch feels more pleasurable than painful, and as soon as you ease up around Brian he rocks into you again, gentle and slow. You gasp, but you don’t tense up again, arching up to meet his movements instead.

“That’s it, that’s my good girl, feel so fucking good around me, fuck…” Brian’s words make you flush with embarrassment and arousal and you whine, turning your face into the pillow and feeling overwhelmed as Brian finally fills you completely.

“C’mon, Y/N,” Brian murmurs, kissing along your jawline. “C’mon, let me see you, wanna watch you…”

“Brian… Bri…” you pant, but you let Brian turn your head back towards him. His eyes are dark with lust and he looks at you in wonder, like he can’t believe he gets to have you, even though you’re the one lucky enough to be in the bed of your idol.

You keep your eyes fixed on his as he starts to thrust into you, slowly at first and so gentle that you can feel every inch of him as he moves inside you, leaving you gasping and whimpering underneath him. Brian groans with every movement, but even as he starts to rock into you faster, harder, his eyes don’t leave your face. The two of you are locked together, Brian’s cock pistoning into you, your legs hooked over his shoulder and wrapped around his waist, and neither one of you able to break your stare.

You study every detail of Brian’s face, needing to memorize everything about him in this moment, every flutter of his eyes, every low moan, every bite of his lips as he gives a particularly harsh thrust. You watch as Brian falls apart above you, his pleasure heightening your own, and every noise and keen from you makes Brian a little more desperate, a little less composed.

“‘m close,” he gasps, and he brings one hand between your bodies to rub your clit. “Want you to come, Y/N, wanna feel you come first…” You moan, pushing desperately down on Brian’s cock and against his hand, so close just from knowing that it’s Brian who’s working to bring you over that edge. “Yeah, that’s it, Y/N, that’s my good girl, come for me, want you to come-”

And you do with a loud cry, shaking and writhing underneath Brian as he keeps his hand on your clit, keeps thrusting into you, keeps looking at you as you lose yourself to the waves of pleasure, your vision nearly whiting out from the intensity of it all.

“Fuck, fuck, Y/N, so good, you’re so good-” Brian groans as he comes as well, finally breaking eye contact as he drops down on top of you, your leg sliding off his shoulder as he ducks his head into the crook of your neck, panting against your skin as his hips stutter into you. You clench around him and he bites at your shoulder to muffle a cry as he thrusts into you once more, before falling still.

The two of you lay there, breathing heavily and shuddering through the last aftershocks of pleasure. You brush a hand over Brian’s hair, and he presses a soft kiss to the bite he gave you. “Sorry about that,” he mumbles.

You laugh and unhook your other leg from around Brian’s waist. “’s alright,” you tell him, still trying to catch your breath. Brian could’ve left a thousand marks on your body and you wouldn’t have cared one bit.

It’s a few minutes before Brian moves again, leveraging himself back up with a groan. “Be right back,” he says, kissing you once, before climbing off the bed. You watch him leave but make no attempt to get up yourself. You stretch out instead, feeling the best sort of soreness, and you smile as you think back over the evening. This is certainly not how you expected your night to turn out, but you’re definitely not complaining.

“You look happy,” Brian says, as he reenters the bedroom. He’s cleaned himself up and gotten rid of the condom, and he runs a damp washcloth over your skin to clean you up as well.

“Mm, that’s because I am happy.” You reach for him and he leans down to kiss you again, gentle and slow.

“I’m glad.” He tosses the washcloth somewhere over the side of the bed and he lies down next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close. “I’m pretty happy right now as well,” he tells you, and your whole chest feels warm with affection and satisfaction.

You let your eyes slip shut, just for a second, enjoying the feeling of Brian pressed against you and his hand tracing absent patterns along your hip. You know you’ll have to get up soon and catch a cab back home, but you still allow yourself to imagine for a moment that you could stay here instead.

“You know, we never did have those drinks,” Brian says after a few minutes, breaking the silence between you.

You smile and open your eyes again, rolling onto your side so you can look at Brian. He’s smiling, lazy and content, and you think you’ve never seen a more gorgeous sight in your life. “Guess you’ll just have to make it up to me sometime, then,” you say, with a soft smile of your own.

“Guess I will,” Brian agrees. “Would coffee in the morning be a good start? Or do you prefer tea?”

You blink, surprised, and sit up on one elbow so you can look at Brian properly. “Are you asking me to spend the night?”

“Why not? It’s late, and there’s no sense in you leaving now unless you want to.”

There’s nothing but honesty and affection in Brian’s face and you swallow down a sudden lump in your throat as you settle back into bed next to him. Brian wraps his arms around you again without hesitation and you sigh, and relax into his embrace. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I think I’ll stay.”

[solavillain]

Pas de Deux Ch 4: Jamais Vu

+pairing: Spinel x fem!Reader +genre: Drama, romance, angst, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers +warnings: None (for now) +word count: 6.4K +Chapter 4 / ?  previous || next

Read on AO3!

Your group heads out to the warehouse on the edge of town, and quickly starts setting everything up for the show. Some evacuees are already hanging around outside, waiting for Sadie and the band to do the soundcheck.  You don’t know too much about setting up all this equipment, so you help move things around and keep an eye on Garnet.  You’re internally kicking yourself for letting her wander off last time, she could have gone anywhere! Luckily Greg and Pearl found her, but still...

Spinel interrupts your thoughts, walking past with Steven, who looks rather aggravated. You watch their conversation bemusedly from your place in front of the stage, catching Steven’s eye and chuckling at Spinel’s antics.

“What’s that?” Spinel asks, pointing to some guitar amps up on stage.

“Guitar stuff,” Steven says flatly.

“And those?” she asks again.

“Uh, microphones...Spinel, hey, why don’t you help Y/n with taking tickets at the door?” He says quickly, shooting you a pleading look.

You chuckle and nod. “Yeah, I can do that. Wanna help, Spins?” you ask, the nickname flying out before you can stop it.

You watch her eyes go wide before she looks at the ground, avoiding your gaze. “Uh...yeah, I can help,” she mutters, leaving Steven to walk past you towards the entrance. As she walks past, you catch a glimpse of her face, which is a deeper pink than usual.

“Is she...blushing?” you think curiously. You follow her out to the front, eyes on the back of her heart buns. “Maybe the nickname is weird for a Gem I barely know...”

The sun is descending on Beach City, and it paints a lovely picture on the distant beach. The air is cool, and the atmosphere is just right- you can almost forget the world might be ending soon.

“Hi Mayor Nanafua!” you call out, stepping towards the smaller woman. “We’re here to help!”

“Ah, Y/n! I forgot you visit over the summer, how nice to have you here! Although, given current circumstances...” she trails off, gazing towards the injector. “Anyway! You and the pink one can direct people inside! Take tickets from the fans, send the evacuees in- fairly simple, no?”  

“Yep, we can handle that!” You reply cheerfully, motioning for Spinel to stand on the opposite side of the door from you.

“Ok Spinel, basically people are going to hand you little pieces of paper with today’s date on ‘em. Technically anyone can go in now because of the evacuation, but...we just have to hold the tickets for Greg so he can get a head count of how many people were here for the band.”

A fan walks up to you then, and hands you his ticket. You nod as he walks in and look back to Spinel, holding up the small ticket for her to see. “This is what the tickets look like, just so you know. It’ll be fun! This shouldn’t take long, and then we can watch the show!”

“Yay! I’m so excited!” Spinel cheers, grinning out at the approaching crowd.

x  *  x  *  x  * x  * x 

Once there’s a sizable crowd inside, Mayor Nanafua catches your attention and tells you to head in as well. You grin and grab Spinel’s hand excitedly.

“C’mon, it’s gonna start!”  

You rush inside with the pink Gem in tow, moving up front to find Greg, Pearl, and Garnet. To your surprise, Amethyst has made her way on the stage- you forgot she drummed for Sadie Killer sometimes, so this was going to be even better than you thought! Spinel made her way over to Garnet, which gave you an opportunity to check in with Steven and Greg.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” you asked kindly.  

“Well...okay, I guess,” Greg replied, scratching the back of his neck while nervously glancing at Pearl. “We requested a song for them to play that might jog Pearl’s memory...”

The song begins, and it’s one you recognize off the new mini-album, called “Disobedient”.  You grin and start dancing in place, watching Amethyst rock out on the drums. She really was great! You glance over at Garnet and Spinel, who have taken to jumping up and down together.  

“At least she’s getting along with one other person,” you think happily.  

“This has gotta bring Pearl’s memories back,” Steven says to you and Greg confidently. You look past them at Pearl, who gazes at Greg, waiting for any opportunity to serve him. You can only hope this will spark something in her...

But as the song goes on, she shows no signs of recognition. Your closest Gem friend is right in front of you and she has no idea who you are, not even with this song about rebellion. You can’t think of what else would work, and you’re building up the strength to accept that, like Garnet, Pearl might not be back for a while.

You can see Amethyst growing more and more worried from behind the drum set. Pearl seems just as devoted to Greg as usual, even going so far as to bow to him at the end of a short ballet dance. Amethyst motions to you and Steven to come closer to the stage, and you follow Steven as he dances his way up.

“It’s not enough!” He says in an exasperated tone, raising his voice above the music.

“She still isn’t remembering anything,” you chime in, glancing back at her sadly.

“Maybe we need to hit her where it hurts,” Amethyst says, resigned.  

“What?” Steven replies.

“You know, her original boss, the love of her life- the reason she rebelled in the first place!”

“Mom...she’s gotta remember Mom! But-” he cuts himself off, turning back to Greg who had been listening in.

“If that’s what it takes,” Greg says with a shrug, preparing himself to see Rose.

You glance worriedly between Amethyst and the others. You never knew Rose, so seeing her won’t mean a whole lot to you- other than reminding you of all the ways she hurt your friends- but you know it could be devastating for any of them, and especially Pearl.  

“This could work...”

Steven nods to Amethyst, and she grabs a mic while shifting. Suddenly, Rose Quartz is standing before you, albeit a purple version of her. Like everyone else in the room, you can’t tear your eyes away from her, but in your peripheral you see Pearl hasn’t looked away from Greg at all. Amethyst/Rose looks directly at Pearl and finishes off the song.

“I want to be disobedient...I want to be disobedient...disobedient....”

But as the song ends and cheers erupt from the crowd, Pearl still isn’t any closer to shifting back to her present self. You slump your shoulders sadly, tears forming in your eyes.

You turn back to the stage just as Amethyst shifts back to her normal form, and you’re suddenly grateful that at least one of the Gems is around. You don’t know how you would be getting through all of this without them. Steven is great, but he still has his moments where he reminds you that he’s just a kid. You know you’re still young too, but you’re a little closer in maturity to the Gems, so having them around for crisis is always comforting.

“How could that not work? What are we missing?”

Steven’s voice makes you tear your attention from Amethyst, and you get back into brainstorming mode. You can’t afford to fall apart now.  

You don’t have any answers for Steven’s question; all you can do is turn back to Greg and Pearl and wrack your brain for something else to try. Greg claps slowly for the end of the song, and Pearl rushes to stop him.

“Don’t worry, I can clap for you!” She yells, and claps exuberantly, much to Greg’s dismay.

“Ugh! What will make you stop serving me?!”

“As long as you exist, I will serve you!”

To your right, Steven and Amethyst gasp in unison.

“What, what am I missing?” You ask them quietly.

“’As long as you exist!’” They say at the same time, quoting back Pearl’s words.

“That’s the final piece- Mom disappeared!” Steven exclaims. He rushes over to Greg, a determined look in his eyes.

“Dad- I’ve got an idea.”

He whispers something to his father, something that causes Greg to look at Steven in disbelief.

“Are you sure? Aren’t your powers messed up?”

“I can at least try!”

“But...what about me? I’ve never...”

“C’mon, Dad- let's duet!”

With that, Greg nods once, and follows his son to the stage, both grabbing a guitar on the way. You look wide eyed towards Amethyst, who has a half-crazed grin on her features.

“How is another song supposed to help Pearl remember? We just tried this!” you whisper loudly to your friend.

She laughs and grabs you by the shoulder, pulling you in and pointing to the stage. “Just watch, dude!”

You roll your eyes and smile, knowing that it’s better to trust Amethyst and go along with it rather than argue the point. Besides, Steven thinks this could work too, whatever it is.  

On stage, Greg and Steven ready their instruments, briefly tuning them before they look at each other and start playing. It’s an intense sounding rock intro, and as they step closer to one another on the beat, pyrotechnics flare up in front of them. It’s so bright that you almost miss it- they're back to back, Steven looks like he’s straining, and then there’s a flash of light and smoke surrounds the stage. You squint, trying to see where they are since the music has stopped-

“Um-Greg?” Pearl calls out nervously.

Spinel pops up next to you and cries, “Steven?!”  

Before you or Amethyst can answer either of them, a voice that is distinctly not Steven or Greg sounds out from the stage.

“It’s a big old universe out there...and when you’re getting crushed under the weight of them stars, sometimes you need that special someone to remind you that you’re so much more.”

The smoke parts, and a man is standing before you- “No, definitely not a man, really...a fusion,” you think to yourself, noting the four arms he possesses. Did Steven really just...fuse with his father? If you hadn’t heard about and seen Stevonnie before, you almost wouldn’t believe it. A half gem, half human fusing with a full human...It just seems so unlikely. But you know by now that with Steven, basically anything can happen.

Behind you, Pearl is looking around for Greg frantically, and you’re almost ready to give up again- Greg disappeared and she’s still not back?- but once Steven/Greg start singing, Pearl suddenly looks almost...relaxed. More at ease than she’s looked this entire time since she was reset. And you have hope again.

“Nothing is holding you back now,” Steven/Greg sings, “No one can push you around. What do you want to do? You’re the master of you! And isn’t the thought enough to lift you off of the ground?”

Suddenly a pink aura is surrounding Steg and Pearl, and they’re literally lifted off the ground by music. You gasp in wonder, and look excitedly to Amethyst, who is looking hopeful as well. You both clutch the front of the stage, staring up at the floating pair as they drift higher into the sky, the music getting further and further away.

After a moment, you see a bright light emitting from Pearl, and your heart leaps.

“She’s coming back, she’s coming back!” You screech to Amethyst, jumping up and down excitedly.  

She grins nonchalantly and hoists herself up on stage as a glow surrounds her too, and brings her up into the sky with the others. You watch in fascination as Pearl’s far away form shifts through what looks like different iterations of herself. Finally- the Pearl you know emerges, jacket and all. You clap happily, watching with glee as Pearl and Amethyst do a short dance, and then they’re fused as well- into the Gem you know as Opal. You’d never actually seen Opal form, as there hasn’t been much occasion for the Crystal Gems to fuse (except for Garnet, of course). So this is a real treat for you, and wow do they look amazing!

“Hell yeah! Get it, Opal!” you call up to your friends, pumping a fist in the air.  

Behind you, Lion appears, and swoops Garnet up into the air, Steg’s pink glow supposedly lifting them off as well. You watch them pass by, and you wish you could be up there with them...but you’re content to watch from below, supporting your friends.

You don’t see Spinel’s face twist into an expression of sadness and longing.

You hear the faint ending of the song as the group descends back down, and Steven and Greg quickly unfuse as they reach the stage. You hop up onto the stage as they fall to the floor, and Steven looks much worse than he did before the fusion.

“Steven...hey, are you okay?” You call out as you reach the group. Your back is facing the crowd and you’re focused on helping him up, but Steven’s gaze goes past you.

“Wait...Spinel!” He cries out weakly. You turn towards the pink Gem just in time to see her rush to the entrance. You glance between Steven and the retreating form of Spinel, trying to decide what to do. Ultimately, though, you decide Steven is more important in the moment- he looks really worn out and you’re concerned for him.

And you’re not the only one. Amethyst and Pearl unfuse, looking content, until Pearl notices Steven’s condition.

“Steven, are you okay?!” she gasps, echoing your sentiment from earlier.  

“D-don’t worry about me,” He says, finally accepting your help in standing up. He seems a bit more stable, though still fairly shaky on his feet, “We need Spinel to remember how to stop her injector. Pearl, what do you know about her?”

“Spinel? She was Pink Diamond’s little playmate...They used to spend ages together in Pink’s garden,” Pearl replies. You can’t help but catch her eye and give her a big smile, which she returns. It’s so good to see her back to normal and acting like herself again. You can’t wait to catch up when all of this is over.

“Garden?” Steven asks incredulously.

“That’s where they used to play-”

“So what’s her problem with us?” Amethyst interrupts, furrowing her brow at Pearl.

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen her in six thousand years!” Pearl answers, earning a surprised look from you. It’s so easy to forget how truly ancient the Gem race is, when they’re just such a part of your daily life.  

“Something must have happened to her since then!” Pearl finishes, glancing between the group.  

“Then that’s what I need to find out,” Steven says, seemingly ready to take off after Spinel.  

“Hey, Steven, um...maybe we should let you rest for a bit first? She can’t have gone far,” you say hesitantly, holding a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

“It looks like that fusion took everything out of you!” Amethyst agrees.

“I’ve gotta do what I can with the little I have left,” Steven replies, sweat dripping from his face.

You stand in front of him as he starts to take off. “At least let me come with you, ok? Greg, Pearl and Amethyst can watch Garnet, and I’ve been with Spinel all day, I might be able to at least help a little.”

Steven glances away, seemingly thinking about the offer. “Well... okay. But please, if we get her memories back and she starts to attack me again, please just run and get help. I know we have her scythe now and that wouldn’t affect you anyway, but she could still hurt you,” Steven pleads, looking at you with concern.

You nod in agreement. “I promise that if there’s nothing I can do to reason with her, I will run and get help and not try to fight.”

He smiles weakly at you and motions to Lion. “Ok then. Let’s go after her.”

You hop on behind Steven and burst out the front of the warehouse to see the Mayor still waiting for stragglers.

“Oh, Steven! Y/n! Some people are missing from the shelters!” She remarks in an inquisitive tone.  

Steven ignores her and asks, “Did you see a pink Gem run by?”  

Mayor Nanafua points out across the water- back towards the Temple and the injector. Lion speeds ahead, dashing across the water.

“Thank you, Mayor!” You call out, hoping she’ll be able to find everyone that’s missing.

It takes Lion a few minutes to get across the water back towards Beach City. In the meantime, Steven collapses forward onto Lion’s mane, clutching at his gem.

“Steven?!” You ask in shock, “What’s the matter?”

“Just this morning everything was perfect,” he replies sadly, his words muffled by thick pink hair, “Why did everything have to change?”

You sigh and look up at the looming injector, and the inviting Temple at the base of it. “I don’t know, Steven. But this is just...temporary, ok? We can fix everything and still be happy after this.” You chuckle to yourself before you speak again, “It’s not the end of the world!”

Steven smiles half-heartedly. “Well...it kinda is. But thanks, Y/n.”

You nod, focusing your attention back towards the cliffside. A piece of Earth crumbles down, just nearly missing Steven’s home. As you near the house, the newly built observatory begins to glow, signifying the use of the warp pad.

“That might be her,” Steven says as you both dismount Lion. He turns towards the pink animal and says, “Go find Connie. We need all hands on deck for this one.”

At Steven’s command, Lion creates a portal for himself and bounds through it, leaving you two standing in the wake of the temple. A wave of uneasiness passes over you- which version of Spinel are you going to find in there? If she ran off, she must have remembered something.  

“I hope she’s okay...” you find yourself thinking.  

You and Steven rush up the stairs to the observatory, and he holds a hand out in front of you just before you reach the entrance, a silent warning to stay back until he can see her condition. You nod, and stand just out of sight, nerves all over the place.

“Spinel?” Steven asks timidly. He motions to you that it’s ok to step forward.

“She must still be her reset-self,” you think as you follow him into the observatory. Sure enough, you’re greeted with the sight of her heart shaped pigtails turned away from you as she sits on the warp pad.

“Spinel, what’s wrong?” you ask quietly, approaching her slowly. She turns at the sound of your voice, and you can see big tears streaming down her face, her features contorted in sorrow. She sniffles pathetically, gazing between you and Steven with big, gleaming eyes.

“I just...started getting these feelings flooding back to me!” Spinel exclaims, turning away from you again and clutching her head.

“That’s...that’s good! I need you to remember,” Steven says, approaching her with confidence and joining her on the warp pad. You scurry up next to him, wanting to continue to help.

“If you don’t remember, something really bad will happen to me and- and my home, and Y/n,” Steven finishes, putting a comforting hand on Spinel’s back. You kneel down next to her on the left, and try to peer around to see her face.

“Hey, it’s ok, Spinel...please, can you remember anything? Do you remember the Garden?”

She gazes in your eyes a moment, before her head snaps up to the sky. She grins for a split second, and then her face falls, and she slams her hands on the warp pad in agony.

“NO!”

The pad activates before you have time to react, and you’re floating through the stream, using all your power to focus on not drifting out.  

Ahead of you, Steven calls out to the pink Gem. “Spinel, where are we going?”

“Back. To where I never left,” she answers softly. You can barely hear her among the sound of the warp. Suddenly, gravity comes rushing back up to meet you, and you land on the warp pad with a thud. Steven and Spinel land upright, and the latter rushes down off the platform.

“Spinel!” you call out, scrambling to your feet and rushing after her, with Steven next to you.

“This was our Garden...a special world, built just for Pink and I,” Spinel explains, a faraway look in her eye. She gazes out over the landscape as if she’s watching a memory occur in front of her; she doesn’t take notice of you and Steven, but continues talking all the same.

“On Homeworld, Pink was so lonely and sad, but not here! Here we would play for hours...every day was so much fun! At least, that’s what I thought...”

She turns towards what looks like a statue in the center of the Garden, and seems to break out of her memories.

“Did something happen?” you ask softly, watching her expression closely.

“Pink wanted a colony, more than anything. One day, her wish came true! Blue and Yellow gave Pink her very own planet! Earth...I was so excited! A brand new place to play!”

Steven tips his head in confusion, “So...why didn’t you go with her?”

Spinel’s face morphs into something you’ve never seen on her before- no emotion whatsoever.

“Pink...showed me a game she wanted me to play while she went to Earth. ‘Stand very still’, she told me. I thought it would be so much fun...”

As Spinel recounts the tale of her life- if you could even call it that- you feel like you want to throw up. “She was asked to stand still to wait for Pink...she wasn’t even forced, like Pearl was about keeping Rose’s true identity secret. Spinel stayed out of loyalty, out of love...this is so fucked up,” you think, as Spinel continues.

“Finally, some news came. About how it all ended. I saw the broadcast, how Pink...doesn’t exist now, survived by her son. And all of her friends back on Earth.”

She races over to what you thought was a statue, and pulls up a screen, which has Steven playing on a loop.  

“He just got back from doing that earlier today,” you think, horrified. “She was stuck here until this morning?”  

A fresh wave of nausea rolls over you as Spinel finishes her story.  

“Aren’t I a fool to have happily listened...to have stayed...”

As she trails off, she begins to glow, and you watch unmoving as Spinel’s form changes. Her gem flips, her ponytails grow longer and spiky, and she grows taller. The light fades, and you can see that she’s back to how she was when you first saw her- darker, sadder, angrier.  

She stays facing away for you and Steven, and you’re about to say something to her, before Steven beats you to the punch.

“S-Spinel! You got your memories back...I can’t believe Mom did that to you.” A beat of silence. “Well, actually, I can totally believe it. You’re not the only one she hurt.”

Steven approaches her, a friendly hand stretched out. Suddenly Spinel turns on him, growing in size and throwing him to the ground, a fist raised threateningly.

“Yeah, you must know all about her life without me! Rub it in why don’tcha?!”

“No, it’s not like that!” Steven exclaims while trying to summon his shield, “You deserve a better friend!”

Spinel blinks in surprise. With a yell, she turns back towards the communication device and punches it to pieces. You recoil slightly, not wanting a rogue rock to strike you. Speaking of rogue rocks...

You turn back to Spinel, who just sighs and crumples onto the floor. Your concern for her overtakes your fear of her, and you step tentatively to her side, crouching down next to her.

“Spinel, I... I’m so sorry about what you went through. As a human, I... genuinely can’t imagine what that must have been like. Waiting for eons... But I’m sorry all the same.”

You try to look her in the eye, but she avoids your gaze, turning her head away from you. You glance back at Steven, silently asking for help.

“Spinel, come back and save the Earth with me. You can start over there,” he reassures her. “You can make new friends.”

He holds out a hand to her, and she stands and turns to him, leaving you trailing behind them both. Had you done something to upset her?

“As long as he thinks this will work...I’ll trust him,” you think. You can’t help feeling a bit put off by Spinel not wanting to even talk to you, but you suppose she has a lot of complicated feelings towards Steven right now.

“Someday, you’ll love again,” Steven reassures Spinel as she takes his hand tentatively, “You just need to find someone who treats you better. “

He keeps glancing at you and the warp pad repeatedly, and you can tell he feels a bit awkward, talking to Spinel like this. You almost wish he’d let you keep trying- she may not trust either of you, but you’re not so sure Steven really feels up to this sort of emotional baggage right now.  

He continues leading her forward, eventually breaking off from her hand and running up to the warp pad, motioning for you to join him. You quickly follow him, eager to get back to Earth. Warping around Earth with Pearl is one thing, but being in space...you look up through the glass that’s separating you and the endless sky. You suddenly feel very, very small.  

Spinel looks past you, barely taking notice of you as she gazes at Steven. Spinel is making you feel small, too. You furrow your brow as you look between the two of them, but the warp activates before you can think further. You’re left hanging in the air again, struggling to get the hang of all the warping, but this time when the warp stops you land on your feet, at least. You celebrate at the small victory, and rush after Steven as he exits. At the doorway, you pause- Spinel is still standing on the platform, her eyes looking far away.  

“C’mon, Spinel,” you say quietly, offering her a hopeful smile. She finally seems to see you, and she snaps out of whatever trance she was in, wiping at the tears that had formed in her eyes.  

“Y-yeah, ok...” She seems to grow shy again as she rushes past you, leaving you to follow her and Steven once again.

The three of you enter Steven’s bedroom, and you both start to head down the stairs.

“We’re back!” Steven calls out in a sing-song voice, looking happier than you’ve seen him all day.  

“Hi everyone!” You say, waving at the three Crystal Gems from the stairs. You turn towards Spinel, who is hesitating at the top of the steps, out of sight from the others.  

“Come on down!” you urge gently.

“Won’t they all be...not exactly incredibly thrilled to see me like this?” She asks, pointing to her markings.

“Oh Spinel...” you say softly, your heart hurting for the Gem.

“We just have to talk to them,” Steven answers simply, giving her a small smile. Her expression shifts to one of trust, and she heads down the stairs into view, standing between you and Steven.  

“Wh-what?!” Pearl cries out. She and Amethyst instantly get into battle mode, both pulling out their weapons and taking a defensive stance. You feel Spinel shift next to you, hiding behind you and Steven timidly.

“Oh, Spinel! Did you change your hair?” Garnet asks innocently.

“Woah woah woah! Spinel got her memories back, but she’s not gonna hurt us!” Steven says to the Gems. You nod frantically in agreement, hoping they’ll put away their weapons.

“Everything’s chill!” Steven reassures, relaxing slightly when the Gems don’t pursue the attack further.

A bright light in the corner of the room makes you shield your eyes, and Spinel is so startled that she grips your arm on accident. Connie and Lion emerge from the portal, and Connie lets out a battle cry as she flips off of Lion.

“I’m here! Where’s the fight?” She calls out, looking around the room rapidly.

“Ah, there’s no fight, Connie!” you reply quickly, “Everything’s fine! Also it’s nice to see you!”  

Connie relaxes and gives you a smile and a wave. “Oh! Hi, Y/n!”

Suddenly, Greg walks out of the bathroom, and the group below rounds on him, startled by the sudden appearance. He holds up his hands defensively and says, “Okay okay, I’ll wash my hands!”  

As Greg walks back into the bathroom, Steven sighs and slumps forward. “Whew...okay! Spinel, can I ask you a favor?” he asks, some desperation creeping into his voice.

“Are you kidding? Anything!” she replies gleefully.  

As Steven explains what they need her to do with the injector, you can’t help thinking that this could all work out in the end. Spinel is about to get rid of the injector, and once Garnet’s memories are back things will go back to normal!

“Well...not entirely. We’ll still have Spinel around...but that’s ok, right?” you think, questioning internally. “She seems okay now, and she could make a new life here like everyone else has.”

x  *  x  *  x  * x  * x

You’re reminded of earlier today as you follow the group down the stairs and out to the injector. Only this time, most of your friends have their memories back, and you’re not in the dark about how to save the world. So as you make the trek up the hill for the fourth time that day, you’re actually relaxed and looking forward to the rest of the evening.  

You spot the New Crystal Gems up ahead, monitoring the injector still. You catch the tail end of their conversation as Peridot remarks, “That is bad! We’re hitting critical mass!” You assume she’s referring to the bio-poison, and you can’t help but feel thankful that you and Steven were able to get to Spinel in time and convince her to call it off. You look towards the pink Gem, who is currently hiding behind Steven, looking worried at the attention that’s on her.

“Steven, what’s the status on Spinel?!” Peridot asks worriedly.

“She’s back, and she’s here to help,” Steven replies easily. Spinel nods to him and moves towards her injector, her left pinky stretching into the shape of a horn that she blows into. She definitely seems...stretchier in this form, if the height and the pinky is anything to go by.

The injector floats off the mountain, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief, and the group cheers and high fives each other. You look at your friends and let out a breath, finally able to let your worries go after a long day. You glance back at Spinel and give her a tentative thumbs up, accompanied with a small smile for the Gem. Her eyes dart between your face and your hand, and she copies the gesture hesitantly.  

Next to her, Steven holds out his hand as a gesture of gratitude. “Thanks, Spinel,” he says happily.

“Aw, gee, what are friends for?” She laughs nervously, shaking the boy’s hand. Steven nods and turns back to the group, a determined look on his face.

“Okay, we’ve almost cleaned up this mess. Now all we need are Garnet’s memories and my powers, and we can all get back to living happily ever after! What could work for Garnet? Something about fusion, something about love...”

As Steven trails off into though, you can’t help but fixate on Spinel. She looks...worried, for some reason. Her brows are creased, and she’s standing awkwardly, as though she doesn’t quite feel like she belongs.  

As you watch her, she seems to find the courage to speak, her voice small and scared. “What about me?”

“Huh?” Steven questions simply, turning back to Spinel.

“Is that all you needed me for? To turn off my injector?”

“No! Well, sort of, but not-”

“W-what now? I-I did what you wanted, that’s it?”

“Well, yeah! We can just forget this whole thing ever happened!” Steven says with a half-hearted shrug and an attempt at a comforting smile.

You look between the two, conflicted on how to feel. On one hand, you can’t fault Steven for wanting to rush to get Garnet back and return to normal, but on the other hand...after everything you just learned about Spinel back in the garden, you’re surprised Steven is being so blasé about this. You don’t want Spinel to feel left behind and forgotten again. But life still has to move on.  

“How ya gonna forget with me around?” Spinel answers, slipping into the accent you first heard her speak in this afternoon, “I’m the source of all your problems! Don’t pretend you want me here!”

You try to interject, “Spinel, I-”

But she’s already spiraling down with worry, unable to stop her anxious thoughts, her eyes never leaving Steven. “You gonna put me somewhere? You gonna leave me somewhere? You gonna leave me alone?!”  

Your face blanches. Of course she would be worried, but she needs to be able to move on from this, at least for now. Garnet is important too...

“Spinel...” Steven says, apparently at a loss for words. He approaches her timidly, trying to comfort her, but she shoves him back with a shout. Steven falls to the floor and you wince. With his powers gone, he can’t be doing too well right now.

As he hits the ground, the rejuvenator flies out of his pocket and bounces towards the rest of the group. Garnet takes interest and before anyone can stop her, she presses the button and unfurls the weapon for all to see.

“Garnet, no-!” Steven races over to grab the weapon from her, taking care of where he’s aiming the scythe.  

“Why do you...have that?” Spinel deadpans, her eyes wide.

You feel like smacking your forehead. Of all the places he could have kept it... the house, the storage garage, even Greg’s van...why did he keep it?

“I was...just carrying it,” Steven answers, looking anxiously at the weapon. “I didn’t have anywhere else to put it.”

“Spinel, please believe him,” you chime in, “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not-”

“We can just forget this ever happened,” she says, her eyes narrowing. “You mean I can just forget this ever happened!” She gives a fake laugh and then growls out, “What a plan!”

This is too much. You start to step back, afraid of what she might do next, ready to run if she rounds on you. You’re trained by Pearl, yes, but...you have a feeling training might not help much with this Gem.

Spinel continues, “I turn off the injector, and then the moment my back is turned, presto! Change-o! Problem solved! Well think again, you’re not gettin’ rid of me that easy!”

She extends her pinky into the horn again and blows, directing the injector to land directly on Steven. Your eyes go wide and you scramble, willing your legs to move quickly.  You try to move out of the way in time, and you make it a good distance, but the impact still sends you flying, knocking your head on the ground, almost catapulting you over a cliff that was formed by the injector. Luckily, you come to a stop before you’re flung over.  

Your ears are ringing, there’s dust everywhere, and you can barely see. Maybe you hit your head harder than you thought. But you can just make out a voice coming from the cavern down below.

“-want me like THIS?!”

It’s Spinel. She sounds angry, upset, desperate. Maybe you can still try to talk some sense into her, though you’re not entirely sure that’s possible at this point.

“Spinel? Are you down there?” You call out to the Gem.

“Ah, looks like we still got an audience!” she says menacingly. Arms shoot towards you from below, and you’re too shaken to react in time- she's wrapped around you and is dragging you in towards her. “How about a front row seat?”

“Spinel, please!” you cry out, “I know Steven, he would never do something like that to you!”

Her eyes narrow as she looks into yours. “Oh yeah? The whole time I was the old me, he barely acknowledged me! I know he doesn’t want me here. I know it!”  

She squeezes you tighter out of anger as she fixes her gaze on Steven. “C’mon, you wanna attack me! Just admit it! Or better yet, just try it!”

“Spinel, STOP!” you plead, squirming to try to get free. You anxiously look up at the cliff side, willing any of the Gems to appear to get you and Steven out of this mess.

“No! No one wants me around!” She yells, but then pauses and glances at you, something like realization flashing in her eyes. Her voice softens as she says, “Except...you treated me differently. You actually...talked to me.”

She rounds on Steven once more and shouts, “Y/n is the only one who ever treated me like anything more than a burden! Who treated me like an equal, and not some dumb innocent...thing!”   You glance back at your captor, surprised at her words. She was someone who you thought could have been a friend after everything. Not now, though. Not after this.

Spinel has a crazed look in her eyes, and you truly believe she wants Steven to attack her, just to prove a point. But you notice she’s also holding back tears- she's eternally in conflict with her emotions, it seems.

Steven finally finds the strength to stand, still holding the rejuvenator. “You know that’s not-”

“You want me gone so bad? FINE. But I’m taking HER with me!” She cries out, clutching you even tighter, trying to hold onto whatever comfort she seems to find in you.

“What? No. No she can’t,” you think frantically, “She has nowhere to go-”

But before you know it, she’s moving out of the canyon fast, unbelievably fast, up onto the injector, with you still wrapped tightly in her clutches. As you’re being dragged away, you see Pearl and Amethyst moving towards you, weapons at the ready. You can’t let this continue any longer.

“Pearl, Amethyst, stop!” You shout out, hoping they can hear you. “Just let me handle this, please! I can talk to her, just focus on fixing the Earth!”

You know the Gems, and you know Steven- they'd probably ignore most other things to go after you, especially with Garnet not here to hold them back.

Spinel scoffs as you finish calling out to your friends but doesn’t comment further. You scowl at her, powerless to do anything but watch as she removes the injector with a call and sends it speeding across the ocean.  

“What exactly is your plan here?” You spit out, “You have no idea where anything is. They’re gonna find this injector so quickly, what are you even do-”

“Just can it, won’t cha?!” Spinel shouts back, and wraps a stretched hand around your mouth, shutting you up for the time being. She sits with her back to you, chin in her hands, staring out at the rising sun. So you just watch as you drift across the ocean towards some place neither of you know yet.

And then you’re gone.

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Outside the Rain - Harry Styles Series (Part 17)

Part 16

“Hottest Couple of 2019? Y/N and Harry Styles have been photographed together a lot this year. The first time was during the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame where both were there to honor Rock Legend Stevie Nicks. The two were then seen together at the Met Gala and the Gucci Cruise Show over the summer. They were both seen at the VMA’s, where Styles was not performing or nominated for an award. While the two didn’t sit together, they were seen at the same after party. Most recently the two were seen in LA, first Harry was seen attending Y/Band’s/Name’s concert, and then again arriving together at the after party. A few days ago, they were photographed leaving a cafe with Y/N’s famous drummer father, and her songwriter mother. 

While they could simply be just friends, it seems they are extremely close. We’ve reached out to both parties and are still waiting on a comment regarding the status of their relationship. But what we can confirm is that we are here for this coupling and are ready to declare them the Hottest Couple of the Year!” 

**

Meetings, meetings, interviews, and more meetings. That is what your schedule and life had entailed over the last few days. The album would be coming out soon and you all were going over the promo plan. When you received your schedule for the remainder of the year, you couldn’t be happier at seeing some dates in London and the UK. You just hoped that Harry’s schedule worked out for those dates. 

Speaking of Harry, it had been almost a week since he left, and while you were distracted with work during the day, at night it was strange coming home to an empty house. What’s even stranger is that that used to be your norm. It never phased you before coming home and it being silent or that you’d cook dinner for just you. But after having Harry here off and on over the last few months, it changed what you were used to. 

Even though you and Harry had only really been official for a little under six months, you couldn’t help, but wonder what the two fo you would do once you two moved towards the moving in stage. Of course, that was a long away, especially since you’d be going on tour for the majority of 2020, even if you wanted to move in together, that wouldn’t be an option. 

After the photos of you and Harry leaving the restaurant with your parents, dozens of articles were written up and posted online. All of your and Harry’s fan accounts quickly started reposting the pap photos and photos from the events you two had attended previously. There were also accounts that were bad to prove your relationship was fake and being used for publicity. 

You weren’t exactly shocked by this, it happened all the time, but it felt like this relationship was thrown out into the internet more than any of your previous relationships. You had the day off, so you decided to head into the city to go do a spin class and get run some errands before doing things around the house to get ready for the start of promo season. 

You had an assistant that helped with most stuff, but there were a few things you still wanted to do yourself. You had just finished your class and sipped on a green smoothie as you walked around the city. You looked at your phone for a bit before looking back up and when you looked up, you saw something that caught your eye. 

Black posters with the words, “Do you know who you are?” written on them were plastered up on the wall. 

You took a picture with your phone before sending it to Harry with the text, “Excuse me, but what the fuck is this? No heads up for your girlfriend? Rude! ;)” 

You shook your head with a laugh before taking a quick selfie and sending it to him too before heading to your next stop. By the time, Harry replied to you, you were back home, unloading the contents in your bag. Your phone rang as Harry facetime you and you quickly answered it. 

“Do you have something to tell me?” You smirked as soon as you saw his face on the screen. 

“Surprise! My single’s dropping Friday!” He cheered into the camera. 

“Isn’t the whole point of being your girlfriend is knowing these types of things beforehand?” You laughed. 

“So, that’s the only reason, huh?” He raised an eyebrow. “It has nothing to do with my charm, handsome face, talented, gentleman qualities, or the sex?” 

“Yeah, none of that,” you joked. “So, I take it you’ve decided on Lights Up for the single?” 

“I have,” he nodded. “That’s why I was in Mexico filming the video.” 

“The video you still won’t let me see?” you laughed. 

“I’ve got to keep some things a surprise,” he laughed. 

“Well, then I guess I’ll be keeping some things hidden from you too!” You smirked. 

“No fair!” He groaned. 

“It’s extremely fair!” you laughed sticking a chip in your mouth. 

“Anyway, so how’s the meetings been going?” He asked. 

“Great,” you said. “I got my schedule for the rest of the year and there are some dates over in your neck of the woods.” 

“Really?” He smiled. “When?” 

“Well, you’ll just have to wait and find out,” you joked. 

He laughed shaking his head. 

“Are you going to have any promo coming up?” You asked taking the phone out to the backyard. 

“Yeah, Jeff and the team is getting everything finalized,” he said. “There’s some talk with SNL.” 

“Oh, fun,” you smiled. “Musical guest?” 

“Actually, double duty,” he said. 

“No fucking way!” You gasped. 

He smiled, “Yeah, I’m shocked. It’s still in the works and a date hasn’t been set yet, but it most likely will happen.” 

“Okay, I really hope it’ll be when I can be in New York,” you said. “I can’t miss that.” 

“I hope you can be there, too,” he smiled. “But I’ll understand, if you can’t.” 

“So, have you seen all the articles about us?” You asked. “Apparently, we’re the Hottest Couple of the year.” 

“Well, I mean, we kinda are,” he joked. 

You laughed, “I miss you though. I know it’s only been like a week, but it’s weird you not being here. Suddenly this house feels huge.” 

“I miss you, too, baby,” he sighed. “And it’s weird knowing you’re so far away.” 

“At least we’re in the same boat together,” you smiled. 

He nodded, “That we are, that we are.” 

**

It’s a few days later and you were currently at a video shoot in the middle of the night. You were tired, your legs were swore from dancing, and it was starting to get a little chilly. But it was nice being surrounded by people during the late hours instead of being home alone. While you were waiting for your next take, you sipped on hot chocolate, trying to warm yourself up a bit. 

“Why did we agree to this?” Rachel groaned. “I’m freezing my tits off!” 

“It could be -25 degrees out here and your tits would still be well intact,” you laughed. 

“Hey! It’s not my fault my mother gave me these,” she laughed. 

You giggled, “But in all honesty, we were going for the aesthetic this brings.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she mumbled taking a seat next to you. “So, when are you going to give me some details?” 

“Details?” You asked. 

“About you and Harry! We haven’t heard many updates recently,” she said. “How’s everything going?” 

“We’re great,” you smiled. “We’re really happy and enjoying our time together.” 

“I’m glad,” she smiled. “I know I say this every time, but I’m really happy you two met and you were willing to give him a chance.” 

“I am, too,” you smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in a relationship ever or this soon.” 

“Well, it could be that you’ve finally found the one, babe,” she smiled. “It won’t always be easy, but it’ll be worth it.” 

A few hours later, you were finally finished with the filming and able to head home. You were practically dead on your feet and were happy you had previously arranged for a driver to pick you up. When you got to your house, you got out of the car and practically dragged yourself down the driveway. 

You put your keys in the door to unlock it and as soon as you were inside, you shut the door and dropped your things. When you walked further in, you noticed a large bouquet of roses on the kitchen table that weren’t there before. To say you were a little freaked was an understatement, but you were so tired, you didn’t really think anything of it. Maybe those were already there and you just didn’t remember. 

You grabbed some water from the fridge and headed upstairs, ready to undress and slide into bed. Luckily, you were off in the morning and could sleep in before your lunch meeting. When you got up to room, you heard something coming from the bathroom. You stopped in your tracks, trying to figure out what it was or who it was. You held your phone in your hand, ready to call the cops, in case it was someone who broke in. 

There was a shoe nearby, so you grabbed it as you walked over to the door. The door wasn’t shut all the way letting you open it without whoever was in there hearing you. The sound of the sink turning on confirmed that you weren’t just hearing things. You pushed open the door, closing your eyes, and throwing the shoe in the person’s direction before rushing out into the room. 

“Ow! Fucking hell,” you heard them groaned. 

Just as you were typing 911 on your phone, Harry walked out into the bedroom, with only a towel around his waist while holding your shoe in the other hand. 

“Uh, is there a reason you hit me with a shoe?” He laughed rubbing the top of his head. 

“Is there a fucking reason you just showed up at my house in the middle of the night without telling!” you groaned. “How was I supposed to know it was you and not like a robber or something?” 

“Well, if I was, you’re first choice of taking me down was a shoe?” He asked. 

“It was the first thing I grabbed!” you groaned. 

He laughed walking over to you, “I’m sorry, I scared you. I was hoping I’d be done with my shower before you got home. I was going to greet you at the door.” 

You wrapped your arms around him, “Seriously, I can’t believe you’re here right now,” you smiled. “I mean you are really here, right? This isn’t just me being sleep deprived?” 

“I’m really here, baby,” he smiled, kissing your head. 

You smiled looking up at him, “How’s your head?” 

“I’ll survive,” he laughed. “But you on the other hand, look like you’re about to pass out. Let’s get you into bed.” 

“Oh, would you?” you laughed jumping up into his arms. 

He laughed holding you with one arm, “Only if you kiss me first.” 

“Don’t have to ask me twice,” you giggled pressing your lips against his before he carried you over to the bed. 

[sassysweetstories]

Diamond in the Rough // 5

Summary: you’re an androgynous woman who has a rather groggy voice. due to your social anxiety and shy nature, you refuse to not let your beautiful, sexy voice free. that is until you do something that might lead you down a dangerous path.

Ship: Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader, Harry Styles x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, vulgar words, fluff, fighting, smut etc.

Notes: none of these gifs are mine, credit to the owners.

Tagged: @bailey-hoover @kiralivelove @thalia-prior-of-ravenclaw@anamcg317bellasett @queentiffanyyy @archer-whovian-violinist@beingmadinwonderland@princessisabelle19 @violence-and-velvet @lachicadelamanzana

Your P.O.V

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I take the photos, gawking. There is no way someone found me.. I was so safe, so sure that nobody was following me. I look up at Andrew with a broken, ashamed expression. “Andrew- I swear I was being careful-” But before I could finish he broke out into a wide smile. 

“(Y/n), this is good! I wish you could have warned me but we can use this for publicity! This is great to talk about a relationship just when your album is close to number one! It will get so much more cover on your album. You just gotta be seen with him for a few weeks and then we can call it off, pretend your crying or something. I’ve already contacted Harry’s manager and he agreed to this!” 

“Whoa, whoa whoa!” I hold my hands up, trying to process the information whilst distributing the pain I felt in my thighs thanks to the previous night. “Wait- You’re telling me I have to fake a relationship with Harry? Also-” Pointing at Shawn. “Why is he here?”

Shawn takes the reigns, crossing his arms as he eyes my hickies with distaste. “Because I’ve been through it; faking relationships to get promo. It works. People talk and your name has been flowing through the papers, on every website and news article. You’re already top ten on the charts but with a relationship, it’ll get more publicity.” 

It doesn’t seem like I have a choice as I sigh, slipping away from the studio to dial Harry. He answers immediately, speaking in a low, groggy voice that gave me chills the night before. 

      “Good morning, love. And yes, before you ask, my manager just told me about our little snafu. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Surprised to wake up with a girlfriend, yes.”

I sigh, disappointed and frustrated with myself. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I was so certain I was in the clear.” Harry chuckles and I can almost see his bright smile. 

       “It’s alright, love. Besides, I rather like your company. Not like I have anything to fake. You’re great fun. How ‘bout we grab brunch? Fill our bellies and give the paps what they want?” 

I can help but smile despite the panic I was feeling. “How are you able to make me feel at ease? You surprise me, you know that?” He chuckles and I can’t help but shiver. 

        “Thank you, love. I’ll let my manager know where we’re going. Come dressed as yourself. I’ll pick you up soon, girlfriend.”

I can’t help but laugh before slipping back into the room. Andrew, Shawn, Olive and Derek look at me with curious eyes. “Okay, it’s a go. Harry and I are grabbing brunch so the paps can get some pics, get it circulating.”

Andrew grinned from cheek to cheek, clapping me on the shoulder like a proud father would with their child. I shouldn’t hold onto the sensation that bursts in my heart. However, not really having a good father and getting the love you never had felt right, as dark as that may sound. 

        “Thatta girl. I’ll make some phone calls. Remember you have an interview at one-thirty.” I nod and let him slip past me, clearly occupied with more important things. Olive grabs my arm, smirking. “So, how was it?” I roll my eyes, nudging her arm as we make our way over to the dressing room. Shawn, Derek and Brian who’s joined the group suddenly, walk not too far behind, talking lowly.

 “You’re terrible you know that.” I jokingly scold her before glancing over my shoulder as we slip away from the boys, giggling like school girls. The nostalgia of blushing over boys we never dreamed of getting makes my heart flutter. “So, tell me! Spill the tea!!” Olive grabs my chin, examining the dark purple hickies Harry put all over my body only a few hours ago. 

“OOO! Homeboy’s FEISTY!” I smack her arm, laughing and gawking at her vulgar language. “OLIVE!” She throws her blonde hair back, laughing outright. “Oh, come on!” She sits pretzel style on the couch, propping up her arms to rest on her knees. “Tell me!! How was he?” I can’t help but blush and smile. “He was-” Pausing to bite my lip in hopes to hide a smile at the sinful things we did the night prior. Olive squealed, laughing at my blushing state.  

She helps me find a suitable outfit for the occasion; black and white converse with black jeans, a grey shirt and a blue-jean jacket. Olive slips a purse onto my arm that’s casual and light to hold. My hands find the fold of the purse, fiddling the small contraption as nerves bubble up.

Though we were in the most intimate of settings, limbs tangled together in a messy, lustful embrace. There is something about speaking with someone you don’t know, especially a person you find attractive, downright terrifying. It’s funny to think that sitting for brunch would be more anxiety producing and intimate than having sex with them. 

But just as he pulls up in his Mustang, all that worry seems to wash away. I can’t never get over his gorgeous smile and chocolate brown eyes. He looks so casual in a white shirt, blue jeans, a dark jacket and a hat. The Rolex on his wrist shines in the sunlight. It’s strange to see someone with poise and wealth be so close to you. 

“Morning, love! I’m looking for an androgynous dream. You wouldn’t happen to know where she is, would you?” He smiles up at me and I almost swoon. Instead, I shake my head and slip into the car. The conversation flows nicely and before we know it, the paps are outside the coffee shop taking photos of us. Most likely with the help of both our managers. “Don’t focus on them. They’ll get their winning shot. I wanna know who (Y/n) is. Not Diamond, you.” Without trying, Harry is phenomenal at being a boyfriend, fake or not. We cuddle in the warmth of one another, giggling at the overly-dramatic tweets. 

The next few days fly by. My schedule consists of the same events everyday; breakfast, gym, shower, interview, lunch with Harry, interview, recording, interview, writing, interview, dinner, performing, sleep. The cycle continues day in and day out. I notice the more I see of Harry, the less I see of Shawn and I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that. When he sat in the studio, I thought he was like a cold sore you couldn’t get rid of. But with him gone, the studio felt empty. Some of his points made sense, not that I’d ever tell him that. 

He was touring again, or at least that’s what I’ve seen. Faking a relationship with Camilla Cabello for their new song, Señorita. However if I had to say so myself, they were not the best at faking a relationship. Funny to think Shawn was the one giving me pointers. Harry and I had, however, the world fooled. Of course there were the fair few of doubters who were hushed almost immediately with overwhelming support for us. But I don’t really care when I’m doing the one thing I love most. 

The VMAs come sooner than expected and I have to attend the venue alone, unaccompanied by my ‘boyfriend’. He was filming across the country for his new music video and another movie he was staring in. He believes wholeheartedly that I would be fine, that I would rock the event and the performance but without him, it here feels wrong and uncomfortable. I shouldn’t be getting attach, this relationship being fake and all, but I can’t help myself from getting excited at the sudden romantic validation. 

https://pin.it/bo6ihwhsesy7gp

Olive helps me get fitted into a gorgeous gown, so beautiful I feel it should belong to another. But when I see it on myself, I immediately push the thought away. The dark blue and charcoal colors compliment the sparkles that shimmer all throughout the dress. No matter where I am, in the light or the dark, I look powerful, like a walking galaxy. I demand power, attention and respect. 

Without realizing it, my posture straightens; sharp like a dagger. My hair stylist and makeup artist, Delilah, beams up at me like a proud grandmother. I’m sure she is. Overjoyed at her artistry. And she should be. She made me look poise, beautiful, sharp and strong, all at once. Quickly I pull her into a tight hug and for a second I’m afraid to let go. But when I do, a small bouquet of flowers from across the room catches my eye. I thought the scent belonged to Delilah but it seems I was mistaken. 

Blood red roses, so fresh their smell seems to force its way into my nose. I’m gonna have to give Harry a lecture about spoiling me. I laugh to myself until I see the small note attached to the green leaf. See you on the carpet. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re better than you think. Go blow them away. Shawn. I ignore the flutter inside my chest that starts to flourish, pushing away the sensation before taking route to the car. He cusses me out and then showers me with my favorite flowers? The longer I am near him, the less sense I make of him. 

Andrew smiles up at me, taking my cheek with his palm and I completely ignore my previous internal quarrel. “I’m so proud of you, (Y/n).” The statement is short but holds so much meaning. I look for a lie but I find none. Stop doubting that there are good people out there. A voice seems to scold me. Instead, I take his hand in mine and smile. We worked so hard to get here. I worked so hard to get here. Suddenly the car pulls to a stop and we’re at the venue. “You’ve got this.” 

Andrew mutters, warmly before slipping from the opposite side of the car. I wait for my cue, breathing slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth. The flashes are bright but none of that matters when I hear a steady chant, as loud and booming as thunder across a dark sky. It demands to be heard. 

“DIA-MOND! DIA-MOND! DIA-MOND! DIA-MOND! DIA-MOND!” 

They scream over and over again, almost howl at the sight of me. Stand like you’re the queen that you are. Delilah once said to me when I first started trying on dresses. I understand the atmosphere shift now, the need and pull others have towards me. Most stare in awe, gaping or intrigued while some drift closer, hoping to catch my attention for a photo in hopes to gas up their own platform, no matter how big or small. 

The walk of the carpet goes by smoothly until I see out of my peripheral, a pair of unmistakable honey brown eyes and a smile that could make any girl swoon. I don’t want to look at him. Not when I know my heart is fragile but I’m not strong enough. The roses confuse me to no end and this is just the start of it. His smile pulls me and I know there is no going back. 

Shawn’s warm brown eyes are already fixed on me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t find the strength to look away. His gaze is different than before as we both size the other up. But when he starts to walk towards me, I want nothing more in this world than to bolt in the opposite direction, run far from this place, from him. I can’t seem to pull my eyes away as he examines me up and down. He’s so close I can smell the cologne he chose for the event. 

“Hi..” Voice as soft as silk and warm as the honey he had in his eyes. I couldn’t help but smile softly as he took my hands. “Hi..” He shifts from side to side and I expect a snarky response but this Shawn that I’m seeing might be the one Andrew first met, that the public knows. “I see you don’t have a date by your side. Would you like to accompany me on the carpet?” 

I hesitate, looking for the cruelty in his eyes I’ve seen many times before. Slipping my hand through his arm, he pulls me close to his chest and the cameras snap with a frenzy I hadn’t noticed before. Maybe Andrew spoke to him, gave him some sort of idea to stand with me to catch more fire on both our albums. But then I thought crosses my mind. Where is Camilla? She doesn’t stand at his side but Harry is also not at my own. I suppose there is a good reason for her as much as for my dateless situation. 

“Camilla and I aren’t together. The facade is over with if that’s what you’re wondering.” He pulls me in closer and I force myself to hide the confusion. How did he know what I was thinking? Was I that obvious? Maybe he’s playing off me? Going after me now that he’s “single” for more circulation? God none of this shit makes sense. When we reach the end of the red carpet, Andrew meets with us, beaming with pride. “You guys looked great out there! Now, Diamond let’s get you ready for the performance.” 

“Good luck.” A small voice from behind me says, softly. I don’t suspect it to belong to Shawn but it does. His honey eyes pull me back and once more I’m entranced in an enchantment I do not understand. Things move slowly as we’re both pulled from the other, separating the palpable connection that throws me into a mental frenzy. How could I possibly possess feelings for him? After he’s been so confusing? Kind and cruel? The questions are thrown from one side of my brain to the next, exploding like bombs that result in a unnecessary headache. 

Without even realizing it, Delilah and the team escort me to my changing room. The announcer’s voice booms over the speakers, echoing all throughout the large auditorium. A gender neutral outfit that has everything I could have ever wanted and, with Delilah’s handy-work, pitch black eye shadow and a touch of silver in the corner to give the dark but temping effect. When I glance in the mirror, I feel the power behind the makeup. I look like a blade, carved and unbroken. It is a sensation I hold dear to my heart. 

              “And before we announce the winners, a performance by the fastest growing sensation. An artist with a dark past that’s turned her world into a whole new light. The androgynous dream; DIAMOND!” The crowd roars to life as I climb up the stairs, not a single ounce of worry holding me back from what I have worked so hard for. 

I sing with my whole heart, voice cracking at the hardest lyrics I’m forced to to project onto the crowd. Some even sing along or hum softly. The energy moves and flows like a current I can’t explain. It’s so strong and overwhelming, my whole body shakes with an adrenaline unlike anything I’ve ever experienced prior. Before I know it, the whole thing is over but I hold onto this memory close to my heart. The crowd, flooded with hundreds of people I’ve looked up to and adored, cheer for me. Shyly I tip my head, ready to walk off the stage but the crowd didn’t seem to be ready for me to leave as they continued to clap. 

I close my eyes and the whole world goes quiet. The sound of their cheers and claps seem to drift out and fade. This was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life. When I open my eyes again, the light shines directly in my eyes and I turn to show the rest of the band before I step back, breathing heavily. The world around me returns to its original temp. Olive and Derek hug me the minute I get behind the curtain and out of prying eyes. Andrew follows shortly after, beaming with pride again. The rest of the night flies by faster than I want it to. 

              “Hey (Y/n)!” Olive calls for me as we pack up from the show. “Shawn, his and our crew are getting together for congratulatory drinks at the studio! I’ll see you there!” 

I laugh as she practically gallops away, her Rapunzel like hair flopping in the wind. 

Once I shut the gate, it takes me all of ten minutes to arrive to the studio. But instead of immediately entering, I stop to admire the stars that twinkle and flicker above me. My cheeks feel wet the longer I look at the bright moon that compliments our galaxy. Tears trickle down my face. Whether they’re happy or sad, I appreciate the sentiment and the intimate moment. Then suddenly a dark, cold voice growls down at me from behind. 

“Better hold onto the stars cause that’s the last thing you’re gonna see, you disgusting rodent.” 

Five large men emerged from the dark shadows and my heart drops at the recognition of the middle man. 

“D-Dad?” 

Then, everything went dark. 

(I hope you guys liked it. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF HADES WOULD YOU PLEASE COMMENT) 

[jaketheaudiophile]

Best Albums of 2020

Hello again friends! Another year has passed and therefore it’s time to reflect on the music and art we enjoyed in the past 12 months. Per my annual tradition, I’m dusting off this ol’ blog to write about my favorite albums and songs of a year that will likely live in infamy in the history books. I’m trying to reflect on the positive in both this essay and my personal mindset, so let’s not discuss social distancing or vote counts or contagious viruses or hand sanitizer and instead focus on the things that distracted us or powered us through them in the form of music.

I generally do a personal Top 15, so I decided to stick with that again for this year’s shenanigans. Best songs and potentially another new list idea soon to follow. And, as always, I welcome dissenting votes or other recommendations from those who read and agree and/or disagree.

Let’s do this!

HONORABLE MENTION:

Snooze

“Still” EP

Self-released on November 27

I normally don’t include EPs in my end-of-the-year lists unless I create a separate list devoted just to them, or 2 years ago when my favorite release of the year was an EP (shout out to Invalids). Snooze’s 2019 release “Familiaris” was my favorite album of last year, and this new EP brings a lot of the same energy and sound, but with a much different mood and circumstance. Bassist Cameron Grom tragically passed in 2020 after a lifetime of battling illness, leaving Logan Voss as the primary songwriter and lone consistent band member. Voss partnered with YouTube drum sensation and producer Anup Sastry for “Still”, and the results are certainly massive and memorable. The songs seem to be significantly sadder and more drawn out on “Still” but the circumstances certainly explain these changes. I’m grateful Voss managed to still put something out that is unique and makes me smile even during his heartbreak and struggles, so this EP is definitely still worth mentioning.

#15

Alpha Male Tea Party

“Infinity Stare”

Released December 4 via Big Scary Monsters

Both this album and the Honorable Mention are ranked pretty low on my personal list despite my personal adoration and affinity with each band. This is entirely based on how little of time has elapsed between their release dates and my compilation of this list. With some additional time to listen and process, I might have put them both higher, but without that I’m inclined to still mention them here but can’t in good conscious put them further up the rankings. Similar to Snooze, Britain’s AMTP took a slightly darker, more morose mood into their newest full length, but there’s still enough ass-kicking riffs and grooves to still inspire movement and energy. Bassist Ben Griffiths has come out of the shadows a bit more on this release as well, sharing the spotlight easily with guitarist Tom Peters and proving that he’s better than just holding down the lower notes. This album’s release was also a complete surprise, so kudos to the band for keeping things under wraps and giving fans an nice year-end present.

#14

Elder Brother

“I Won’t Fade On You”

Released October 2nd via Pure Noise Records

Elder Brother has been an object of my adoration for the past few years, but I’ve never been able to fully embrace an album of theirs as a whole. 2020’s release is no exception, unfortunately. They’ve penned some of their best songs to date (such as the gorgeous slow jam, “Projector”) and have expanded their sound with a full backing band. Unfortunately, meandering songs like “Hair” just drag away energy, and the second half of the album really just sort of panders around without resolution. The first half is top notch, but they really end with a whimper instead of a bang. Still, the great songs do shine brightly and warrant this album being included at this spot.

#13.

Jeff Rosenstock

“NO DREAM”

Released May 20 via Polyvinyl Record Co.

Speaking of surprise releases, perennial punk powerhouse Jeff Rosenstock put out “NO DREAM” with no promotion whatsoever. This left fans obviously surprised and that shock was quickly overwhelmed by a super high energy record full of infectious melodies and garage-rock aesthetics. There are a few clunkers but otherwise this is a charming and pleasant listen with some surprisingly deep and brutally honest lyrics and subject matters by Rosenstock. It was also cool to see Jeff get some solid publicity from this record such as an appearance on Late Night with Seth Myers. More attention for musicians like Rosenstock who have clearly put in the hard work is a worthy cause, so props to him and his merry band of misfits.

#12

Knuckle Puck

“20/20″

Released September 18 via Rise Records

Chicagoland’s Knuckle Puck have been one of the more impressively consistent pop/punk bands of recent years. I’ve always admired their skilled dual vocal arrangements, clean-boosted guitar tones and monstrous hooks. I definitely enjoyed this release but I also have a hard time distinguishing a majority of the moments after the record has stopped spinning. When it’s on, it’s pleasant and fun, but I’m hard pressed afterward remembering what songs are on this release and what are on previous years’ albums or singles. More KP music is never a bad thing, but hopefully future releases give them more sticking points.

#11

Unwed Sailor

“Look Alive”

Released July 12 via Current Taste

After over a decade of near-radio silence, Unwed Sailor have come out with guns blazing in the past two years. Johnathan Ford has put together a new band (most recently including longtime Minus The Bear drummer Erin Tate) and has churned out two full-length records in back-to-back years. I personally prefer 2020’s “Look Alive” slightly to 2019’s “Heavy Age” as it feels more of a throwback to the simpler, jammier Unwed Sailor releases of old. The record doesn’t really have any down points but also tends to drift along without a ton of memorable moments, oddly. Still, though, Ford and company seem to be on a torrid pace and I’m all in favor of enjoying the ride.

#10.

August Burns Red

“Guardians”

Released April 3 via Fearless Records

The model of consistency. August Burns Red are a well-oiled machine at this point. Every few years they hunker down in the studio and churn out another genre-setting collection of catchy metalcore songs. Drummer Matt Greiner is the most outstanding on this release (as per usual) with some truly jaw-dropping fills and beats, and the production for this record is top notch as always. It’s sort of hard to explain what’s good about this because it’s anything and everything. You can set your watch to this band and I’m grateful every time I put them on.

#9.

Melted Bodies

“Enjoy Yourself”

Released September 18 via Plastic Smiles

Another year, another band that Anthony Fantano turns me on to makes my AOTY list. The Internet’s Busiest Music Nerd didn’t formally review this album but did say they kicked ass in a “Y U NO REVIEW” segment. After a few moments of listening, I sprung for the album and it completely took over my music library for the past few months. I equate them as a sort of bizzaro hybrid between “Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job” and System of a Down, with Mike Patton-esque vocals, brutal but fun breakdowns, unique electronic elements and overall weirdness. Seemingly containing every genre of music all at once, this album is all over the place in all the best ways. What an amazing debut. It’ll be fun to see where these oddballs go from here.

#8

Beach Comber

“Parting Cuts”

Self-released on April 24

What a fun surprise this record was; in retrospect it feels like that was a recurring theme for bands and artists in 2020. Beach Comber is Rory Friers, riffmaster general from And So I Watch You From Afar. This album doesn’t sound like anything his main group has put out, but instead was meant to be a wedding present for two of Frier’s friends that would never see a mass release. If there’s one good thing that COVID did, it was to encourage Friers to put this out as a pay-what-you-want release to gather some funds in lieu of touring and playing shows. Because of this, we were blessed with a very different but exceptional collection of minimalist, varied low-fi rock. It feels like a lost Anathallo album or Sufjan Stevens b-side collection, and was a welcome breath of happy fresh air.

#7

Hot Mulligan

“You’ll Be Fine”

Released March 6 via No Sleep Records

It feels like every year I’m thanking my buddy Steve Lee on this list for getting me hooked on a quality emo record. He first sent me the incredibly fun video for “*Equip Sunglasses*”, but I wasn’t immediately hooked. I couldn’t quite get into Nathan Sanville’s scream/sing vocal style at first, and thought the band was slightly generic. Still, I found the song getting stuck in my head for roughly the next rest of my life, and eventually checked out the full album, and was pleasantly surprised by the subtly complex intertwining guitar leads and arrangements. Also, kudos to the band for writing pointed and brutally honest lyrics on topics that some bands wouldn’t touch (go read the lyrics for “Digging In”). And yes, Sanville’s vocals eventually ended up really, really growing on me. These young men from Lansing, MI should be proud of themselves for their strong stances and songwriting, and it’ll be fun to see what they put out next.

#6

Man Man

“Dream Hunting in the Valley of the In-Between”

Released May 1st via Sub Pop

After a few years of relative silence, Philly-based weirdos Honus Honus and Man Man gathered up another pile of instruments and multi-instrumentalists, and the result is yet another collection of supremely catchy songs.  Longtime fans like me knew what they were getting, but I think this is one of Man Man’s most complete and accessible albums yet, with not a moment wasted or thrown in without thought. There are so many fun little vocal quips (The random “Went straight to voicemail!” in “Goat”; the solo chorus of “Sucking diiiiiiick” in “The Prettiest Song in the World”) that make the listener smile every time. Everything feels planned out and executed flawlessly, which is impressive when each song features several guest musicians (including Rebecca Black!) and a rotating cast of instruments and players. Keep being weird, Man Man. We don’t deserve you.

#5

Protest The Hero

“Palimpsest”

Self-released on June 18

It had been 7 years since Canada’s Protest The Hero put out a full length after leaving the world of record labels and crowdfunding campaigns. It wasn’t without its difficulties, largely due to singer Rody Walker running into vocal issues during recording sessions. Thankfully, he was able to overcome his difficulties and frankly, he killed it. There wasn’t much more life-affirming than hearing him hit ungodly high notes at the end of “From The Sky” and his joy-filled delivery was infectious on every other song. And of course, the rest of the band also fully delivers with their usual technical brand of metal. No complaints at all, hope the next one doesn’t take 7 years to show up.

#4

Caspian

“On Circles”

Released January 24th via Triple Crown Records

I was very excited about this release from basically the end of 2019 on, as these Massachusetts instrumental rock mainstays released the single “Flowers of Light” at year’s end. Thankfully, the album delivered in spades, and it is easily my favorite instrumental release of 2020. Well, that’s not technically true; 2 of the 8 songs have vocals. One welcome addition is an awesome contribution by Pianos Become The Teeth’s Kyle Durfey for “Nostalgist”, who fits the band like a glove. The second vocal track is the lovely eponymous closing track, which gives a pleasant change-up conclusion. Caspian’s three guitar approach means the listener always has a wide swath of atmospheric noise and full bodied sound, and the formula is definitely still working. There’s a reason this sextet are revered, and “On Circles” is the band firing on all cylinders.

#3

Touche Amore

“Lament”

Released October 9 via Epitaph Records

Touche Amore has been one of my favorite bands for several years running, so expectations were very high for their fifth release. 2016’s “Stage Four” was a massive success but is still very hard for me to re-listen to or encounter due to the heaviness of the album’s subject matter, and “Lament” is at least a change in that pace. Jeremy Bolm is never one to pull punches or address the uncomfortable, and his vocal delivery is as engagingly abrasive as ever. Bassist Tyler Kirby is the most obviously improved, but that may also be the production choice of Ross Robinson, who seems to have received as much publicity by working on this record than the band did. All in all, more the same is never bad with these screamo mainstays.

#2

Into It. Over It.

“Figure”

Released September 18 via Triple Crown Records

Evan Weiss is the one reliable dude. We get a new Into It. Over It. record every 3 or 4 years, and they’re always great. His songwriting and arrangement skills are top notch, and there’s enough cool little moments or unique additions to keep the listener engaged throughout the entire album. Weiss’s skills as a guitarist are in the spotlight as always (”We Prefer Indoors”), but drummer Adam Beck proves his talents throughout (”Brushstrokes”). What truly makes the album great for me are the little moments of variety or subtle changes in instrumentation or delivery that pop up in every song. The best example is the middle of the second verse of “Living Up To Let You Down”, when the band changes up the straightforward beat and chord progression to deliver a double-time feel with differently punctuated guitar chord hits (this is very hard to describe in writing; just listen to the song at 1:28). If the songs on their own weren’t catchy or well-rounded on their own, this album would be great, but it’s the moments like this that truly push it out on top. This record lived up to every high expectation I had and I’m thrilled that Mr. Weiss is a part of my life.

#1

END

“Splinters From an Ever-Changing Face”

Released June 5 via Closed Casket Activities

But enough about positive thoughts and happy feelings...Every piece of writing or commentary on 2020 will likely point out how bad of a year that we all just experienced and how grateful we are to be moving forward. I definitely agree with this sentiment for the most part but do feel like we had a lot of interesting positive moments in the year in general. However, with that logic, no album better summarizes my general aesthetic towards this weird quarantined year than this ungodly amalgamation of brutal hardcore this supergroup has wrought. Counterparts vocalist Brendan Murphy sounds like a completely different beast with a lower delivery and growl than his fans traditionally encounter, and guitarist and wunderkind producer Will Putney makes this record sound horrifying, hellacious and, well, HEAVY. Add in some unnerving audio samples and the fact that most songs are between 1 and 2 minutes, and I can’t think of anything else to best summarize my feelings toward 2020. This was the perfect album to put on and let loose any angry or negative thought with the ferocity of the tsunami of sound this group created, and should be commended as such.