#but it was a great sandwich.

[notbecauseofvictories]

I know this is not an earth-shattering revelation, but there's just something about a sandwich. Literally watched someone make one in front of me, carefully assembling it and slathering it in butter, grilling it, and despite knowing (knowing) this is not a particularly sophisticated achievement, I've never been so viscerally attracted to anyone in my life.

[mars-doodles]

fionna eating a sandwich

[housecow]

can i admit something… being lazy turns me on, a lot. which means i get hungry because the two are connected and i can’t help it. then i have to (over)eat and it makes me lazy. i can have two 32oz weight gain shakes, and entire meal, and keep snacking for hours.

it’s a vicious cycle i have no intention of breaking

[bebagerie]

i fell in love with a war

[kingsoverjacks]

Wouldn’t these two be fun to hang out with?

Alison Brie and Aubrey Plaza!

[vela-pulsars]

not enough stonjourner art out there

[foldingfittedsheets]

In my ongoing quest to befriend the local crows I sidled up to one outside the place I get my tasty bacon sandwiches. I tossed a peanut and it screamed and I instantly had a murder swooping all around me as I walked to my car.

It was probably the most badass I’ve ever felt in a parking lot to stand at the center of a shrieking crownado.

[brainrotcharacters]

i really hold professional adult conversation and eye contact with clients and then turn around waxing poetic about how I want to have a threesome with Deadpool and Wolverine

[riemoi]

Twisted Wonderland Royalty Au

It's the fishes time!

Tw: Yandere, Ooc?, Cringey

Reader has no gender

OctaVinelle Characters, SavannaClaw Characters, Heartslabyul characters

Summary - You are royalty of a nation that each year holds a festival for all to come and enjoy. Guests are coming from everywhere to celebrate this joyous event! Even the sea.

Relationship with the kingdom — The wonderful kingdom of the sea. After the whole mermaid lady coming to land and marrying a dude happened. The sea kingdom has been making friends with every nation they can. Yours included. Despite the king and queen of the nation being known for always meaning well. Their people are known for being cunning, two faced assholes. who’s only motivation for doing anything is greed or maybe that's just the business fishes. Actually, no. It’s probably just them.

Azul Ashengrotto - Business owner

Ah, Azul. Where do I begin with him? Do you hate him or love him? You honestly don’t know. I mean, you know every person has flaws and goods no matter the species. But this man. Oh, this man. Let’s start off from when you first met him. You were nine at the time. Your parents always forced you to greet the guests that would be staying at the castle for the festival. Azul was with his family. They own a famous restaurant under the sea and came to serve food from said place for the festival. He was much different from now, he was more anxious, friendly, and sad. But most importantly he was cute! He had a cubby soft frame. Even back then you had to resist the temptation to hug and squeeze him. You guys didn’t interact much. Usually only having short moments together. But now. My god! He wouldn’t leave you alone. Unlike back then where he worked in the kitchen now he was a representative of the sea kingdom. Being successful in climbing the ranks. He now had time to bombard you with deals, advice and contacts that you should sign. (According to him)It annoyed you mostly because you don’t know how to feel about him. He was terrible. But admirable at the same time. Working hard to climb to the top, never stopping not no matter what takes. Even using people. You loved but hated that cunning smile where everyone always knew he was planning something but never what. Hey! Guess what! Did you know that, that! Mindset it the same one he uses for you. Can you guess how many disgusting, vomit inducing, ungodly worms he had stepped on just to be talking to you right now. To be able to walk through the door of your house and get to see you. No! No, you don’t. After all, you still insist on not signing the contract. Like come on, my precious shining pearl. Sign the marriage contract! He worked so hard to be here before you. Hurting so many people. Just to be able to catch a glimpse of you again. In my personal opinion dearest, I worked my ass off hard enough to be standing in front of you kneeling at ur feet but rather standing at your side as you rightful partner! As a child I knew when I first saw you sitting on your father’s throne, even if you were just playing. I knew right then and there that I was meant to be in the other one. (Your mother’s throne.) So excuse me rudeness but why is the one that should be kneeling kissing your feet. Standing right beside you? You aren’t going to choose that leech over him right? You cannot leave me. I refuse! So…please don’t go. Talk to me! Smile at me! Praise me! Not him.

Jade Leech - Butler? 

Jade and you officially met two years ago. At first you thought he was just an employee under Azul because he acts like the typical butler. But he isn’t. Jade is a picture perfect butler in every aspect. Might you say one “hell of a butler”.(lol get it…pls laugh) until Auzl mentioned his past with the twins and that Jade has always acted that way. You felt bad that you had just assumed he and his brother were servants and didn’t introduce yourself. Then Auzl mentioned his last name. Your face fell in horror. You dropped what you were doing and started running to the twins room. With Auzl yelling for you. You knew the leech family as they were famous for being related to the mafia or so people believed. In fact, one time the Leech’s asked for you to come to their son's birthday because they wanted to play with you, but your parents turned it down because your kingdom was dealing with important stuff. You finally made it to their room, knocking on the door Jade answered shortly after. You then introduced yourself and apologized to him. With a laugh he introduced himself too and that was the start to your guys friendship. He is quite a lovely person to be around if you turn a blind eye to his weird habits. He would save you from Floyd, go on nature walks, and even help with your work. You liked having him at your side. He likes it too, of course. He was not really interested in you at first, he mostly was interested in the effect you had on his brother. He still remembers the day before their birthday when his parents sent an invitation to your family at Floyd’s command request, never had his brother had and still hasn’t thrown such a tantrum before after hearing that you weren’t coming. But now… now he knows why his brother was so upset because hell, does he want you. He wants you so bad that he doesn’t know if he could share with Floyd. It’s just the way you react to things, the way you dress, the way you struggle with some of your work, it’s just you are so fascinating and beautiful. He doesn’t mind being a butler for you a bit longer as long as you make it worthwhile and you make him yours at the end and not his brother. I don’t want to see my brother as a rival but if he keeps clinging to you like that he just might have to take you away sooner but the way he makes Auzl feel just by standing next to you is just hilarious. Ok, just don’t be with his brother more than him. “Floyd you might break their bones if you squeeze that tight”.

Floyd Leech - A Leech

You also met this thing two years ago. He would leech onto you like crazy. If he wasn’t around you then he was around Riddle and heaven forbid if you two were together. My dude is everywhere, It’s scary. Usually when you're with people you would pray that they wouldn’t get bored of you. But with him! You were praying he would stop giving a fuck about you. That amount of times he would almost squeeze you to death is not even funny. You will always remember the first time he came to the festival, he was with you all time. Always muttering about not wanting to lose you or something? And when you were out of his sight even for a second! He would throw a tantrum, only stopping when he could see you. Not even his Jade could stop him. Anyway he is  just an annoying not so little bug in your ear. Though he was fun. The only thing you could predict was when he would make Riddle mad. Other than that you didn’t know what he would do next, making for annoying but fun adventures with him. Him on the other hand is always having the time of his life with you. Unlike you meeting him two years ago Floyd met/saw you at the age of ten at a firework show. Yearly a firework show happens on a beach by the coral sea for both merpeople and land people to enjoy. You went as a kid after begging your parents to bring you. That when Floyd saw you were playing by the water collecting shells. After a while of just watching you he decided to bring shells from the water, taking the shells to the shore. He was about to throw them at you to get your attention when his parents called for him. He didn’t listen till Jade grabbed him, dragging him back to his parents. Ever since then he's been trying to meet you. Throw tantrums every failed attempt, not now he is going to keep you at his side for eternity. You're too entertaining not to. He didn’t know why he was so insistent about meeting you. Now he knows why you were meant to be by his side. He hates the idea of you leaving him, not being by him. So what do you do when you don’t want something to go? You stay by them forever. They can’t leave you if you never leave them. So of course it takes hours to get him to go home after the festival is over. “Hey shrimpy! What Jade. oh I’m squeezing them too tight? I don’t think so. You’re just jealous I’m hugging them.” I usually don’t get mad at Jade, look at what you do to me shrimpy. Hey I know, let's go get food. I don’t like what that green guy made and since I’m on vacation I don’t have to listen to Azul! What do you mean you have work? No, you don’t. Because I said so.

[5hrignold]

the picture sucks because he isn’t worth the effort of finding a specific picture of him for this specific post

[notbecauseofvictories]

It's always like, a sandwich can't be that good, it's just a sandwich, then you're eating one like, holy fuck a sandwich

I mean, I am a devoted sandwich lover. I love sandwiches laden with vegetables; I love wraps with tofu; I love warm tuna melts and subs stuffed with broccoli and open-faced sandwiches heavy with tomatoes and ricotta. I've got sandwiches for summer (camembert, arugula and apple) and sandwiches for winter (chorizo patty melt with pickled jalapenos). Even just a regular old grilled cheese can be elevated with a green and garlick-y spread.

So really, at any given moment my default state is probably holy fuck, a sandwich, regardless of how long it's been since I last ate one.

[sillyscribblez]

My mind automatically replaces Sherlock with herlock so reading Sherlock Holmes is certainly something.

(Herlock my beloved)

(The ace attorney hyperfixation is totally not impacting me at alllll/s)

[sracha]

they went on a date 🤕

[escapedaudios]

This is literally so Badaboom-coded it's insane. The shaved head, the sheer size and strength, the wholesome fun, the theme song, the absolute BOOM of it all. Also, their last name is Befumo? They're Italian-American! It's perfect. This is Badaboom Belardi as a dad, no questions asked. I'd hire him to play Boom in a movie. A.J. Befumo if you want a job in Hollywood hit me up.

[invadergrabass]

impromptu irken anatomy lesson

[inspector-montoya-fox]

i am in the silliest goofiest of all moods so i decided to take my top 3 ice creams of this summer and share with you which characters they remind me of the most. let me know if you think you are sillier and/or goofier by sending me your favourite ice cream

at number 3 we have Arpeggio as Haagen-Dazs Dulce de Leche, and specifically the mini tub that comes in a box of four flavours. despite the flavour's Latin American roots, i think Arpeggio would savour it because he likes to indulge in different cultures as a certified genius. kinda sophisticated like him, and just like his time in the game, short and sweet

number 2 is a cool remix of a childhood classic: blondie caramel Maxibon with the waffle. I've paired it with Rajan because the packaging is orange, duh but also because it has two different sides. the waffle is Rajan's regal facade, appealing to Westerners, whereas the ice cream bar side is rough and rocky just like the predator within

the Kinder Bueno ice cream is paired with Carmelita and takes the number one spot this summer. is this coupling based on personal bias? maybe! the flavours here are so nostalgic and reimagined into ice cream form perfectly. the cone and hardened chocolate on top form a tough exterior but inside the core is soft and rich, just like Carmelita herself. 10/10 masterpiece