#but it was great bcs we kept absolutely sending it at each other at high speeds

[skitskatdacat63]

In other news today I played frisbee with my friends btwn classes, and I felt like a zoo animal getting enrichment 🥰

[fanficmemes]

Anon with the fanfic tropes list (most of these are somewhat specific but that's cause they just appeal it me), didn't think you guys want to see it that bad but here it is! (I said it's over 1k words so don't say I didn't warn you) (also Note: few of them are implied nsfw but it's mild)

-The italicized oh.

-Sun and moon dynamic

-Teaching someone how to skate

-comparing hand sizes

-picking a flower and putting it behind someone's ear

-BRAIDING HAIR O U G H

-babysitting together (bonus if kid thinks they're dating but they are just mutually pinning or kid figures out one of them have a crush on the other and either try to get them together or straight up blurts it out while the crushing tries to get them to shut up)

-when someone's laugh/smile/moan becomes a character's favorite sound/look in the world and they try as much as they can to hear/see it

-A Covering their face with their hands/arms/etc and B moving them and saying 'you're beautiful/I love you/I want to see you'

-Sharing headphones

-SHARING/BORROWING CLOTHES (bonus if it's too big for them)

-using nicknames

-Stealing food off someone's plate

-Sharing food with someone

-comparing them to either sun, moon, stars, god, angel, etc and ultimately saying something about worshipping them (and their body LMAO DONT CALL ME OUT)

-Riding on a motorcycle/bike together

-calling someone something in another language (bonus if they don't understand what it means and says it back)

-voice messages

-cooking/baking together

-when a character wears something new and asks 'how does it look?' And the other absolutely short circuits

-sitting between someone's legs?? (Doesn't have to be inherently sexual, it's just cute like:

-playing with someone's hair

-head on someone's lap and they just look up with the sappiest smile on their face

-oh my the inherent and absolute banger of peppering kisses on someone's face!!

-Kissing someone's nose (as in a 'boop' kind of way)

-FOREHEAD TO FOREHEAD (bonus if one of them is cupping the others cheeks)

-Kissing someone's hand

-Scar kissing

-watching someone play video games

-taking pictures of the dumb shit they do (and them favoring those pictures over normal ones)

-friendship bracelets

-personal special friendship greetings

-still using/wearing something someone's outgrown (small rings on necklaces, old tee shirts as headbands, etc also; "you kept that?" "Of course, why wouldn't I? It's special to me." )

-Painting someone's nails

-Seeing how peaceful someone looks while sleeping

-'I missed you.'

-Grabbing someone by the wrist as they're about to leave and saying 'wait-...stay.'

-Hand/finger on someone's mouth and the one with mouth covered is silently short circuits/panics

-pinkie promises

-maybe this is one sided joy but tickle fights

-pillow fights

-Going swimming (bonus if one of them isn't dressed for water and the other is so they just drag them into the pool)

-hugging someone from behind with arms around their waist and head resting on their shoulder

-hugging someone with so much force that they almost fall over

-putting someone's hair over their ear/clipping it

-Getting into a certain media because of someone

-When pets like a person and the owner is like 'Awww they like you, they're usually shy/etc' and it's symbolism for their relationship

-'oh you like this?' (Starts buying merch or whatever it is just for them)/(gives the one they own to them)

-riding something together and the other has to hold them tightly/close

-playing video games together or just watching them play

-Distraction kisses (whether to beat the other in a game or just to distract the long enough to let them escape, it's good)

-singing karaoke together or just preforming as a duo

-When a character wins or finishes a race and they immediately rush to a certain person, asking them 'did you see me/that/did I win??' Cause all they really care about is the person they're asking's opinion

-A staring at B from a far and B noticing them and either waving/smiling at them or blowing them a kiss from a far and A just looking away really quickly cause they were caught

-Saving spots/anything for somebody

-drawing somebody (bonus if the muse actually sees it and they're like 'woah is that me?? You're a great artist!!' And artist reacts by either quickly closing it or just dying)

-licking lips, wether it's their own or their partner's, it's good

-"you taste like (food)"

-aaa goes along with licking lips but like savoring the taste

-*calls other their s/o in front of people proudly and said s/o is either embarrassed or really likes that they're not afraid to be known that they're together*

-alternatively, calling the other their s/o when it's just them and they haven't decided what they are and said s/o is very much short circuiting

-ALTERNATIVELY that but they're together and one of them uses a cute nickname for the other!!

-Leaving Notes around for them w cute messages

-communicating through a notebook/notes together in class

-throwing paper airplanes at them (they have notes inside)

-carrying something someone else always forgets

-sending songs that remind them of each other

-not exactly romantic but this still slaps, other friends seeing their pinning from a mile away and putting bets on them

-when couple gets together, one person going 'TOLD YOU/CALLED IT! HAND IT OVER, (NICKNAME)' and the doubters reluctantly hand over 20 bucks

-and when they do get together and find out, friend group is like 'yeah and what?? Y'all were so obvious *acts out/recalls their past pinning*' and couple just shuts down

-Oh and the pinners somehow gushing to their friends about said crush

-making pictures of said crush and them as their wallpaper

-the dumbest possible contact names for each other

-making a flower crown for someone/putting flowers in the other's hair/tucking a flower behind their ear

-describing a kiss or a feeling as addicting

-describing something as downright sinful

-Siblings or friends cheering/teasing the couple (wether they're dating or pinning, it's always fun)

-running through the rain together and laughing

-Dancing together (bonus if one of them is reluctant or inexperienced to dance and the other teaches them or just tells them to have fun, also bonus if they do 'the dip')

-Taking care of someone while they're sick

-Intoxicated/high/sick person confesses that they like the other/gets affectionate/flirts and other is very blushy (bonus if other gets to see a side of the intoxicated they've never seen before)

-Sharing a drink (like milkshake)

-Kissing someone's lips to taste something or get lipstick

-The visual of lipstick smudged or all over

-A seeing B with a different hairstyle and absolutely being like: 😳💘‼️

-Same reaction but A hears B's morning voice

-Preforming on stage and performer (who's already with s/o) points at their s/o in the crowd and is like 'this one's for you, babe!' And said s/o is embarrassed but finds it endearing

-or the exact opposite where s/o points at performer and says 'THATS MY S/O!!!' very proudly and loudly

Okay why is this so goddamn well thought out!!!! Honestly we should make this an ask game one day bc I’m the “THATS MY SO!!!!” trope

[starrysupercell]

Sooo... Now that its my wif- Tara's birthday... Are the Mystics (And Bo) gonna celebrate it :D? I can imagine Gene trying to set up some kind of surprise party for her, that would remain a surprise for like 4 minutes...

DANG IT. Past 12. TwT

But here you go! An outline for how Tara’s birthday is celebrated this year. 🧿 best fortune teller in Starr Park tbh. Your wife says hi 💜

I really gotta start keeping track of the Birthdays to have these things planned out.

~

One of the many good things about how much time Tara and Gene have known each other, is he knows she'll figure it out.

The surprise for her will be not the fact that there's a party because she can easily see that, but the extent of it, because she can promise not to sneak a peek at it.

(But now she's curious! Also, she's so used to checking on the future,* it takes a very conscious effort to not do so.)

So, while Gene keeps Tara preoccupied by taking a walk around the Park, Sandy, the Tribe, Gale and Mortis (because they're also friends with the Mysticals bc of the skins, shush.) are in charge of decorating.

So, with only two responsible adults in this group, how well do you think this is going to go? :)

Gale: So do you have a plan for the setup?

Sandy: hm? >.o oh. Yy*yawns*eah. here you go... *hands him a paper*

Gale: ...this just has a rough sketch of the main room and a couple of balloons.

Sandy- mm..felt sleepy but there's still.... -.-...time to...zzzz....

Gale:

Mortis laughs because well they'd just have to wing it! (He would definitely ask Emz for help, but she's busy with the teen crew for plot convenience) As long as decorations are already bought, it should an easy thing in setting it up the way they want it to look.

....decorations are already bought, right?

Sandy softly snores, and the Party Crew realizes that's their answer.

~

Meanwhile, Gene and Tara walk through the Park. The plan is picking up a few extra gifts along the way before heading back to the main party.

Their first stop is Barley's for some drinks! He gifts one bottle of Tara’s preferred drink, but does charge for the rest. Along the way, we see Brawlers greeting Tara and wishing her well on her birthday.

Colette’s very enthusiastic! She knows all the Brawler’s birthdays, and wanted to make something for Tara!

She doesn’t really have extra money recently, since there was some recent change in management, and she usually makes more detailed items, but because of the money problem, couldn’t buy as many materials she needed, but she’s derailing, so she hands Tara her wrapped gift.

It’s a cute hand-made Shade Plush!

Tara is delighted and thanks her for it. It’s a pleasant surprise, and she appreciates it. Colette fangirls a bit, thanking her, and then waving bye as the Mystics carry on.

~

Back at the Bazaar, they're trying to brainstorm on what to do. Well, half of them present are. Sandy is asleep and Nita + Leon are playing around the house.

Mortis says the only things he has back home are.. well, decorations of a more... gothic type..you know,.. (Halloween decors. they’re Halloween decors.)

Gale also offers up... some Snowtel hangings, but again, ‘tis not quite the right season to be jolly.

Bo suggests makeshift decorations. The twins are good at crafts! .. but more so along the lines of forest materials, not sand and...

Everyone’s drawing a blank, and decide that they could gather up their own share of materials, and see what could work best. Their time limit won’t really allow a break after all.

So Gale contacts Lou and asks him if he could meet him halfway with everything he can carry. Try not to get caught by the Penguin boss. Lou, ever the chaotic good guy agrees.

Bo gathers up Leon and Nita and they head out to see what they can scrounge up.

Mortis wonders if he should call up Frank too since he’ll be here later to set up and provide the music, but decides to be ~generous~  and just send a flock of his Bats to pick some things up for him. He sees them off adoringly.

With a content sigh, he lounges back and waits for his precious lovelies to return with his ideal decorations. Sandy sleeps on...

~

Back with Gene and Tara, the next item to pick up is the cake. Piper has the order ready-- a black forest chateau cake.

“Magnificent taste, darlings!” she compliments. she has it all boxed up very fancily. “It’s on the house. Take it as my gift for you. Happy birthday!”

She’ll also be attending the party later. Tara thanks her for the cake. She and Gene then take their leave.

Along the way to their last stop at the new Castle environment for the food, (because while they don’t know Ash very well yet, Tara loves trying out the new items and pizza is always great for a party.)

“Hey, Tara! ...hold up.” Edgar jumps down from a building they’re passing, just because he can and . “...this is from the rest of the Gang. Me too, I guess. Happy birthday.”

~

The party squad are actually worse off than before.

The Shaman Tribe are back, and the Twins became interested in using fabrics to try and make something too. so they’re playing around with it pretty much.

Gale just arrived, with Lou joined along because he was interested in the party planning too. (So, the snowtel is understaffed right now.) but they’re just chatting instead of working.

Mortis’ bats haven’t arrived yet, and he’s getting worried. They don’t usually take this long in running errands for him.

Leon and Nita are practically playing catch right now. They knock over something that looked priceless. Oh, a crystal ball, perhaps. Bo reprimands them.

They haven’t gotten much closer to making up the room...

There’s a knock, and the group freezes because oh no, they’re out of time. but it ends up being Frank. A very unhappy Frank who was suddenly surrounded by screeching batties who kept picking apart the house while he was packing up his set up for the party. They followed him there afterwards, along with several things.

Mortis tries joking it off ;; , and then very quietly and off-handedly apologizes when Frank doesn’t find it very funny.

But then so hey!!! you’re here so decoration time, everybody! let’s hop to it!

Gene’s Lamp, Sliver, floats in. Sent by Gene himself to check on the progress. They were nearing after all. The Lamp’s alarmed by what it sees. That is, absolutely nothing.

It glares around, and spots Sandy still sleeping. Sliver floats over to him, and hops on him-- Wake up!

Sandy does so, but is very grumpy. “what?”

Tara’s Birthday.

“yeah? what about it?”

Don’t you care?

“obviously.” he swats at the lamp. “it’s tomorrow.”

>:( Today. It’s TODAY.

“,” Sandy looks around, as wide-eyed as he could be.

broken crystal ball, a mix of decorations, and nobody currently fixing up anything from the looks of it.

They’re on the way.

Sandy makes a face. “ok... game plan on the fly.”

~

The final stretch of the day out.

Gene and Tara are nearing the Bazaar, and along the way, Gene starts to get heartfelt.

He reminisces how they first met, how far they’ve traveled together, how much longer they’ve yet to go.

He wishes he could think of something to give her that meant something like the other gifts that she received that day.

He was a Genie, but after everything they’ve been through, she deserves much, much more than what he could ever imagine to conjure up for her.

Tara smiles. “(Don’t... put me on too high a pedestal, my Friend.”)

Don’t sell yourself short either. You’ve done so much.

“(Yes. I have.)” Tara muses unhappily, thumbing the doll.

Gene suddenly gets the idea of what his gift could be, but he needs his Lamp to start on it.

~

Right before the two opened the door, a pair of bats were hanging up the last decoration.

And when the two walked in with the final party supplies at hand and are amazed at the display.

intricate ice sculptures and a more snowy feel set up where the food would go. the music section where Frank set up (who was talking with Mortis.) had a darker aesthetic, including the balloons over there.

Lastly the rest of the place was decorated with very cute works of art. no doubt the Tribe kid’s handiwork. she recognized it from when they stayed over, and the gifts Bo’s gotten from them and shown her.

You’d think that the seemed like the mix of fancier silver decorations, a more gothic theme and natural crafts would look odd together... and well, it was quaint, but it was very pleasing to see.

a patchwork of oddities, not unlike this park, really. She’s always been fond of odds and ends. Tara loved it!

Sandy yawns and walks over to them. “we actually just got done with the set up. but if it makes you feel better, we can still hide right now and yell surprise.”

Tara laughs. It’s okay.. it isn’t like she could be-- but she appreciates it. Sandy shrugs, like he didn’t just call all the shots and work in a hurry with the other eight. “you’re welcome.”

Lou offers to help set up the food and cake. Gale helps too, after presenting his gift too.

Frank and Mortis notice the arrival of the Birthday Gal and wave her over. They chat animatedly-- it’s been so long since they’ve had the chance to catch up! They should plan something soon. Tara agrees, and their gift is from the both of them. I can see it being a very nice piece of clothing, though I’m drawing a blank as to what.

The Lamp reunites with Gene, and their perspectives merge again. Oh. the party was really cut close, huh? but it worked out well! what a relief. a scrap book of actual memories is what you have in mind? how very sappy.... She would like it.

Lastly, Bo walks up to Tara, greeting her and wishing her well on this day. He hopes she likes what they helped with ....he then has the Twins apologize for breaking a few things around the house--

Tara dismisses it easily. They can be replaced. The Twins, that is. (joke to scare them.) But really, as long as they were careful from now on, it was okay. the cub and chameleon agree with no hesitation and then run off to cause more mayhem, but quieter this time.

The Psychic smiles. The guests would be arriving soon, and it was already so lively.

Time to party~!

_______

*I’m still deciding on the extent of her powers, so future sight might not be a thing, because of the characterization I have for her. I’m thinking something along the lines of “Can see past events, and make very informed guesses based on what she knows about people, but cannot see the future itself.”

[talesoftextposts]

Exactly! Crestoria is not the only game they don't really keep tabs with. A while ago i played a saint seiya game by them and it had many many issues. If you cannot have multiple games with quality than please don't. Is bad for us and the employees, those poor people must be going crazy :c

At first I liked kasque, quite different than what I would expect from a goddess, but I ended disliking her...

I feel kinda bad for aegis just being a punching bag for jokes and Yuna just being there to look pretty, they have a lot of potential for the story. Like you said Yuna had a great point and a good reflection moment but whatever eh? Aegis too, I felt his story like a punch on the gut because I tend to be like him and the queen, but again, whatever...

I do the arena for the free stuff too! I am not competitive at all XD

hello again anon!! im going to do another readmore gksghkeg

yeah i honestly...ugh. i have just a lot of issues w bamco in general but i also Do Not want them to pay attention to me jic they tell me to stop making memes or something stupid like that— like genuinely instead of making the game more functional or adding like...idk. any story or shit that makes Sense they just added things like the transcendence board which is just. for ppl who already maxed out their ascension boards?? after like 6 months??? Y'ALL... ik for a while too the phantom tower was Waaayyy too difficult but i think they nerfed it back to normal considering i can now clear thru level 40 at least :/ but overall the game is just. geared towards ppl who drop fucktons of cash on it. if you look at the ppl in the top 3 in arena rn? you KNOW they've spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on this game. what the fuck.

also minor gripes are just...they don't add very many new units anyway, compared to like even asteria, and i get that there's effort for the whole models or w/e but...i mean if rays can do it... and i don't mean that in the rate that banners are released, bc those are...kind of annoyingly often as of late (looking @ all the crestoria cast alts) but the fact they're only for 1 or 2 charas who are Only ssrs, and it genuinely makes r and sr stones and sr charas just...obsolete and useless imo? like i genuinely have EVERY sr AND r full awakened/ascended which. is probs partly due to the drop rates being Absolute Garbage, but thank god they implemented a pity system, right? ...right? [tired sigh] i've saved enough for julius who has been in crestoria for 228 days, bamco, fucking release h—

i also want to add that i've contacted support MULTIPLE times abt issues w the game and they have legit just told me "hm sucks have u tried playing the game w all other apps closed" like yes, bamco, but that's not the problem??

SORRY for several paragraph rant abt the gameplay i just have some very strong opinions LMAO

i understand not liking kasque! tales antags...and characters in general, actually, are rather hit or miss. i personally just love evil women so im rlly in love w her GSKEHGESKHG

but as for the aegis and yuna things... YEAH. i rlly love them both and it's been extremely disappointing to see how they've been treated by the story :( like even if yuna's acting silly to cover her own feelings, it would be nice to get those scenes we get in other tales games (like...idk even the scenes in xillia like where alvin and elize sit and talk in the park, and leia talks w i think jude or milla depending on the route?) considering it's like...is penelope going to be okay? can she ever go back to her?? is she okay just crossing the sea and leaving her, even if there's really no choice??? sorry for the character introspect i just have a lot of thoughts—

aegis too, it's like. i don't mind teasing to an extent, but i really feel sometimes they go too far w it :( esp in like. events and the character episodes moreso than the main story (tho i could be remembering incorrectly) which makes me wonder if they just have different writers for each but even THEN like the main story still fails to act like yuna and aegis Exist half the time?? and JEEZ yeah i am constantly thinking abt aegis and queen rebecca, esp imo it's just a very... well first of all, that has to be Traumatizing As Hell but second of all i strongly headcanon he was unable to say it bc he didn't mean it and also i have a headcanon that the whole event has kept him from ever saying the words "i love you" ever again so that's that on THAT. (these are my headcanons pls don't send me hate over them they're not canon i promise—)

and honestly same!! i used to be sss rank and then i stopped caring abt arena for a bit and dropped a couple ranks...oops. i'm currently s-5 and had to FIGHT to keep myself there this season. it's not that i rlly care abt winning or being high ranking. or first, even, i just want the prizes from being at a certain rank/placing tbh. which is why.....................................oh im so tired of the ppl with lvl 120 fully awakened new ass units like i GET IT you have MONEY but i am not spending that much on a mobile game!!

ANYWAY thank u for coming to my ted talk omfg im so sorry this is so long (again)

[whatsmylaneagain]

Amethyst - Third Chapter

Pairing: Eggsy x Agent!Reader

Word count: 1960 (a big one!!! Yay!!!)

Warnings: swearing, Roxy mention (bc she deserved more), reader’s character being a rebellious lil shit, Eggsy being kinda dumb (oh well this is all kinda narrated by his point of view, there’s no way to not expect that, right?!)

Chapter synopsis: so, we know that the bomb had Eggsy’s name on it, but.... what the hell is actually happening?

A/N: GUYS IM BACK AND IM SORRY!!!! I’ve written (and revised) this more than six months ago, but I absolutely hated how I made Eggsy a dumb character, so I spent all this months putting this story aside to fix it later... but I love it so much and this week I watched Spies are Forever and oh well.... idk, its been too long, but I’m posting this anyway.

Amethyst masterlist

Eggsy didn’t expect to find another person other than Harry and Merlin at the Kingsman’s meeting room. And what he definitely didn’t expect was for the person to be a beautiful Chinese woman laughing and having a drink with Harry Hart. The young man felt like he was invading a private moment, and had the sudden urge to grab y/n by the arm to show her the new victorian-style sconces he chosen for the rebuilt hallway.

But before he could say anything, y/n had already tapped the doorpost, making their presence known. The middle-aged woman talking to Harry glanced at the two young agents, giving the girl a sly smile. 

“I’m glad to know you didn’t punch Mr. Unwin on your way here, y/n” she said, as Eggsy went straight for his chair on Harry’s right side.

“I would’ve if you didn’t send me that text” The girl had moved to the woman’s side, backing up to the wall for support. She never made mention of pulling a chair.

“Well, y/n, I take as you already know Harry.” Said the woman, gesturing to the older man, who smiled sweetly. Yes, that’s right. Harry SMILED.

“Of course, The Great Harry Hart, the man of a thousand missions;” when Eggsy thought he couldn’t get more confused, y/n pulled this. “Everybody at the headquarters knows who you are.” And some - fucking – how, she sounded genuine, and not witty or arrogant as she appeared to be. Was that… admiration?

Seeing Eggsy’s confused expression, the older woman gave him a small smile, welcoming, but not too sweet; just like an agent is used to do.

“Galahad, I’m Yijun, or as my agents – or people who can’t bother to learn how to pronounce it - call me, Circe. I’m the head of Amethyst, the agency that y/n works for.”

Eggsy must have looked very confused, because Harry intervened, while pouring two more drinks, giving him one and sliding the other across the table, towards y/n.

“Yijun is an old friend, we met some weeks after she came from China. I was already a Kingsman, and was trying to bring her into the organization – just like I did with you – when she was recruited as an Amethyst trainee.”

“You knew?” Started Eggsy, a little bit of irritation shaping his words. After agent Whiskey, he knew better than not to trust Harry. But he couldn’t help the feeling of being a pawn. “Why did you let me go after her then?”

“I didn’t know the agent who saved you was y/n. All I knew was that she was an Amethyst, since the intervention was fast and clean.”

“-almost clean;” Yijun turned her chair to y/n, who was taking a sip out of her drink, still leant against the wall. “If Morgan’s work were perfect, you wouldn’t be able to find her.”

“Nobody’s perfect, but I try my best.” She shrugged. “’m still your best agent tho.”

“Please,” Merlin entered the room, an IPad in hands, ready to the briefing. “put the blame on me for being able to hack into almost anything, including London’s surveillance cameras. She did a wonderful job.”

Merlin stopped right in front of y/n, extending his hand for a handshake. She grabbed it immediately.

“Miss Le Fay. Hope our codenames won’t be a problem.” 

“I don’t see why, Sir Merlin. The witch from who I borrowed my name could very easily have been Merlin’s apprentice.”

No awkward pressure thing, from what Eggsy could see. Why were his interactions with her so bloody awful? For god’s sake, y/n was joking with Merlin!

It took him a moment to remember what history the two were referring to: Morgan Le Fay was a witch in King Arthur’s story, from where Kingsman got their codenames. Depending on the version, she can be portrayed as Merlin’s enemy, responsible for the death of King Arthur or as a powerful good woman, that had healing powers and could shape shift. For an organization like Amethyst, Eggsy supposed the second option was the one they had in mind.

Merlin greeted Yijun with a respectful “ma’am” before selecting something on his device, the projection of a document showing up on the wall above y/n.

“The techs over Amethyst sent us their reports on missing people, and turns out the man who you two,” Merlin looked at Eggsy and y/n. “saw is Adrian Bell. Seven months ago, he apparently went on a trip to India, but his family didn’t hear about him after he left. He never showed up on the airport camera footage.”

“So... he planned to disappear?” Interfered Eggsy.

“Apparently, yes. But there’s a problem.” Merlin changed the projection, it now being a series of pictures, especially ones where Bell hugged his family tightly, his wife crying, and his kids glued to his leg. It looked like a reunion. “He doesn’t remember anything and woke up asking for his family. His last memory was being in a bar and passing out. He thinks that he was in an alcoholic coma.”

Eggsy was about to ask a lot of questions, but Merlin had started talking again, while taking two Kingsman’s RayBans out of his pocket, giving each woman a pair. 

“I’ve made a partnership with the group of cooperative organizations led by Amethyst, also called D.E.A.R; Diamond, Emerald and Amethyst Relations -” Introduced Merlin, but Eggsy wasn’t really paying much attention to him. 

Instead, he was observing y/n, who hesitantly spun the glasses in her hands, analysing it, differently from Yijun, who just put them on right away. Her mouth twitched on the side, and she started to bite her tongue, as if trying to distract and put herself together. Y/n put them on, but kept looking down for some seconds, before fixing her posture and raising her head, crossing her arms, still leant against the wall on one shoulder.

It was quite weird seeing y/n wearing the glasses. Even though she had noting that could possibly remind him of Roxy, Eggsy couldn’t stop the deja vu of his best friend. A sad smile adorned his lips. He missed her.

A Kingsman-style hologram of a young 16-year-old girl appeared sitting on one of the chairs, big extravagant round sunglasses framing her face along with bright pink streaks on her brown hair. Although she was a teenager (and dressed like one, in a jean jacket and a white tee that said “girl power” in red), she sat perfectly straight, very professionally.

“Good evening, gentlemen. I’m Tonks, Emerald’s tech and field agent. I just came back from an information gathering mission.” which, as a previous Emerald’s agent, y/n knew was just a fancy description for attending parties. Nothing too dangerous, especially for Emerald’s missions, that were more based in socialization and keeping an eye on people. Actually, y/n was impressed that Tonks had something substantial to report (especially to Kingsman) in a high school party. “A group of unmatchable individuals seems to be working together, all of them acting really uncharacteristic and very patronized. I detected the group spiking other teen’s drinks. I managed to intervene and get a sample of it. Agent Spellman also reported a strange movement, alike the one I observed, with a college group. We sent the samples to our biotechs, and the lab concluded it was a modified Mikey Pinn.” The girl grabbed her phone and sent something, the IPhone message sound reverberating through the room. “Now you have access to our outhouse cameras, Merlin.” 

Merlin quickly changed the projection above y/n to eight squares of video that showed each teen in one small room, some asleep on the beds, some walking around nervously, and one passed out on the floor. Tonks started talking again.

“Spellman and I brought the group of high school and college students to our outhouse. Whatever drug they’re on soon will wear off, and then we’ll be able to analyse what happened to them.”

“Was that the first ever occurrence on your field, Tonks?” Asked Yijun, and then turned to the Kingsman’s, explaining; “Emerald agents that work on high schools usually only have to get in action to stop violence and abuse at their missions. Situations like what we’re dealing with right now is uncharacteristic.”

“No, Boss. Some students stopped going to classes suddenly, but we checked: they all were confirmed on exchange programs abroad. Apparently, they never went.”

Y/n wasn’t leant on the wall anymore. She’d walked to the table, bent over it, hands open, pressed on the cold wood, all her attention on Tonks. Tension.

“Who were the kids? High school and college. Why choose them?” She said.

Tonks flipped through her phone, messaging Merlin more documents - the ring once again filling the room - before answering.

“A rugby player, two perfect grade kids and a foreign student were the high school kids. Apparently, it’s a pattern: physically strong people and awarded students that stand out for their knowledge of exact sciences.”

“Have you tracked were they were drugged the first time?” Continued y/n.

“Not yet, but...”

“I did;” said Merlin, suddenly, typing on his IPad.

A new image showed up on the wall. The front of a bar that looked like it used to be fancy ten years ago. Now, the paint was coming off the walls, and the huge opaque black doors were rusted, chains and a big old padlock kept them closed. It had no name on the outside, only a broken light up waning crescent moon, just the inferior part working, shining in a weak yellow light.

Eggsy knew the place. Actually, every teen and young adult in London knew Moonz: the flat broke bar that let underage kids come in and drink. You didn’t even need a fake ID, they would pretend to not be able to do math and let kids in. In some months, it became domain of teens, turning into a considerably safe place for them to get drunk and party. Also, it was the cheapest place to get booze.

But the underage drinking caused a bigger problem; since it was illegal, the neighbourhood didn’t have a lot of cops because the owner kept them away. Consequently, Moonz’s location became a centre of violence, kidnapping, and other heavy crimes.

The young Galahad saw y/n turn to the projection in slow motion, the act of being casual being thrown out of the window. For Eggsy, she looked like a robot who got rebooted and installed a completely different system of command. When she spoke again, her voice was strong and deep.

“Tonks, do you know when it started?”

“It?” Asked Eggsy. 

“The kidnappings.” Y/n answered. “The fact that they were drugging others looks like it was a kidnapping system. In this context, those kids were “recruiting” more teens.” 

Tonks checked her phone.

“No, Morgan. We couldn’t track it. They apparently are the first ones to come back.”

“Shit.” Y/n paced around the room. “Boss, permission to do an observation and protection mission at Moonz.”

“Permission granted” nodded Yijun “take Galahad with you.”

“Yi, I don’t think the gentlemen can pass as a teenager.” Y/n had stopped walking. She looked straight into Eggsy’s eyes. “With all due respect...”

Yijun shook her head. 

“You know there are other ways to get him inside undercover.”

Y/n ran her fingers through her hair, taking a deep breath. Eggsy could almost hear her thinking “Fuck. Fine.”.

“C’mon Galahad, we’ve got a job to do.”

Eggsy and Y/n were almost out of the room when Yijun called her agent again.

“Oh and Y/n.” The girl turned around. “Don’t engage. I’ll send Emerald agents to protect the kids, but you and Galahad can’t have your covers blown up. Do. Not. Engage. Do you understand?”

All Y/n did was nod slightly.

If you made it to here, thank you so much! I hope it was worth your time! Some feedback would be appreciated, I really wanted to see if you liked this (dumb) Eggsy I’m presenting.... If you don’t want to be in the taglist anymore, I totally understand! Just message me :)

Also!!!! Feel free to message me any questions about the fic and this chapter! I have some fun reasons for choosing those codenames and Diamond, Emerald and Amethyst as the names for the organization!

Amethyst taglist

@a-dorky-book-keeper @50shadesofuncomfortable @arizonacolleen @infinity-of-high-dreaming @toasty-fish @pink-smarties @mc225g @dadd-ilf @sueeatstheworld @katorgatorgalaxy @the-ink-and-salt-club @incorrect-mcdanno @xelizabethvalentinex @ahyestheandersons @thatdamnokie @wxxnks @awesomewees @ryedikkulus @discodeak @clacestan @y-dadd

(If you got the notification again, sorry! I had a problem with the taglist and had to do it again!

[noah-moth-cursed-chaos]

Emile-Hides told me about their self indulgent(and also super cool) Chzo Mythos au, so I have decided I shall reveal some stuff about mine as well, mostly just random details. Im p sure it diverges from canon quite a bit, especially the parts involving Chris Bc I can’t fully understand Chris’ canon for the life of me(It isn’t actually very complicated I’m just dense for some reason) Most of the first half of this has turned out to be rambling abt the TCS factors of my au specifically.

-Obviously, post TCS events, as I’ve mentioned before Trilby adopts a scuttler which he trains and raises, the scuttler becomes a soldier buzzer when it grows up. Trilby adores it.

-Trilby has a brother! The brother is my interpretation of one of the playable characters in TCS, but I won’t say which one.. yet.

-I wasn’t a huge fan of the paradox full circle 7DAS Malcolm being Trilby thing so I sorta made my own version? 7DAS Malcolm and his family are clones of Trilby and his family made by Chzo so Trilby could fully serve his purpose as a guide. Obviously they aren’t exactly identical because of the huge environmental and time differences.

-My version of the Wizard grew up in The Order Of Blessed Agonies. Her father was a devote member and her role model. Her blessed agony of the soul was supposed to be to kill him. She couldn’t do it. They locked her up and planned to sacrifice her, a member of the Ministry of Occultism however investegated the location, shut it down, and freed her. She then promised herself she’d stop The Order’s plans.

-The scholar kept a wallet with pictures of his family in it to remind him of why he was trying to stop the ancient. Eventually he got word of the murder of his wife and child and... gave up, sadly.

-The warrior found his car, and decided to use his notes to figure out what was happening and how to stop it, on the way he ran into the wizard, and they decided to work together to stop the ancient.

-The invading ancient was Chzo.

-Trilby was trying to find the ancient at the same time, he arrived at Stonehenge very shortly after the Warrior and Wizard had managed to banish Chzo. Trilby helped patched them up and they all talked and all that good stuff. Neither Trilby or the Wizard could really go back to their past at that point. Because of this the Warrior offered to let them stay with him. On the way out of Stonehenge was when Trilby found and grabbed Steve the scuttler.

Ok now on from TCS

-Chris has amnesia. He can’t remember much of what happened before the day his parents died. He also doesn’t remembered what happened to reverse his zombie-ness. He just knows he isn’t a zombie anymore.

-Chris lived with his parents in the house we see in the game, but didn’t have the best relationship with them. Because of this he also had a room at an appartment his friend stayed in(he insisted on helping her pay the rent despite her saying he didn’t have to). He and this friend had known each other since high school and were super close. He doesn’t remember hardly anything about her, but he read some of his old books and saw her name mentioned in the lists of people he thanked, so he does know whoever she was she was important to him.

-The mental hospital Chris stayed in was really a product of its time. The doctors didn’t understand much about the mental illnesses they were treating. Their practices weren’t great, and the psychology they relied on was flaky at best. Chris honestly ended up worse off because of it.

-Trilby did in fact meet Chris while trying to steal a ruby! And yes, they went on a date. Trilby was just trying to get out of trouble. Chris was quite flattered and thought there was more to it. They went their separate ways after that. A few years later when they run into each other when Trilby joins the Ministry, both are a bit shell shocked.

-After the hotel incident Trilby just entirely shut everyone out. He was terrified of everything. He was a mess. Most of the Ministry just brushed him off, another nobody who couldn’t handle the stress of the job. Chris reached out to him and tried to help him through everything. This is how they started getting close.

-When their handler at the time noticed that they were beginning to become friends, she(idk who their handler actually would’ve been so I just made someone up) started sending them on missions together, wanting to see how they’d work together in the field. They worked great, and therefore ended up a pretty well known duo in the ministry.

-Claire is good friends with both Chris and Trilby and is sorta a mother hen type. She’s always pestering them to take care of themselves and be responsible and all that. She’s a very sweet woman.

-Trilby took Simone’s death personally. He took all the deaths related to Chzo and Cabadath personally. Yes he wasn’t particularly close to most of the people, but he still should’ve stopped it. In his mind at least. He feels like since he’s directly connected to Chzo by fate, he shares partial responsibility for the suffering and death Chzo causes that he fails to stop.

-On a lighter note Trilby ended up sorta a father figure to Jim. They keep in contact through mail mostly. It’s part of what compelled Trilby to join the STP: ending up in jail, until Jim found out, would just look like he abandoned the poor kid. He didn’t want to do that to him.

-Trilby has dad instincts. Don’t fight me on this.

-Chris is that person who learns to make all the drinks his friends like so he can surprise them with them when they have a bad day.

-Chris keeps his bedsheets and himself extremely clean despite the rest of his appartment usually being a mess. He figures if he can’t keep up with all of it right now he should keep up with what helps him feel comfortable and work his way up.

-Trilby is the literal definition of organized chaos, his house, his office, all of it looks like a train wreck, but he knows exactly where everything is. It’s magical.

-Chris one time tried to adopt a hellhound. Nobody was exactly happy about that. Chris eventually had to send it back to hell.

-Chris acts shocked when Trilby curses despite Trilby doing it quite often.

-Trilby is more sentimental than you’d think. He keeps a lot of little trinkets and such to hold on to those he loves in a way. If you give him a gift, chances are he’s not getting rid of it unless he absolutely has to. Even then it’s not too likely he’s letting it go. His most treasured keepsake is his mother’s wedding ring.

-Chris can’t take good photos for the life of him. They all come out blurry or overexposed or grainy. He finds it infuriating but his friends find it hilarious.

-Trilby and Chris are those idiots who pine for each other constantly but neither can say crap. Claire just wished they’d get over themselves and kiss already.

[kim-lexie]

week-by-week playback: crash landing on you.

just to preface, pardon that some of this may not be cohesive. i made this a separate post because otherwise the collective review would be insanely long. and i wanted to keep a space where i just let my thoughts from each episode exist, so here it it. 

if you want to see my semi cohesive thoughts from the themes and characters here is my actual review. crash landing on you.

*spoiler alert*

ep 1-2 my goodness this man, hyun bin (aka ri jung hyuk in this drama) is dreamy as ever. *like swoons*. son ye-jin is perfect, i loved her in "something in the rain” and this character is completely different and i am loving it. this free easy going aide of this actress. she is adorable and i love how in a crazy situation the first thing she thinks is ‘you’re totally my type’ bc seriously a girl after my own heart.

now the concept is completely ridiculous but i’ll jump on the band wagon and live my best life bc i think this is going to be a unique concept that i fall for. the fact that she doesn’t listen to him and goes directly into north korea i’m like girl you’re crazy.

i love how they added the clips at the end of the episode and how he was laughing at her. precious how he’s already falling for her quirky side. i am intrigued to see where their relationship first started like how did they meet before how did he leave north korea and enter back in as a general captain?!? so many questions and i’m so excited.

ep 3-4.  kim ju-meok (captain ri’s company of 5) saying i haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. hahaha same dude same. when the guy was spying, jung man-bok, and trying to keep up with the drama plot. hahaha

i loved when the ladies tried to see her and she made him act all sweet walking him out the door.

he said all nice things to the plant!!!

ep 5-6. his relationship with his fiancé is soooo weird. and her family must be super high up in north korea. same to his family though. his mom has an ostrich in her yard!!! i love how they got stuck on the train on their journey to pyeongyang. i love how he jumps to his feet to get her anything she wants. they’re precious together. i’m excited to see where it takes us bc now that the man on the run knows that she is there, there is leverage. he was the first guy she waited for TT. i’m really enjoying the little tidbit scenes at the ending.

he’s gonna keep a photo of her even though he said it was silly to get a momento. the clarification between destiny and coincidence.

ri jeong-hyeok do you want to be my destiny. ‘as long as you stay in my sight you’ll be safe, as long as she is in my sight i will protect her.’

ep 7-8. her character growth since meeting him is extensive and i love to see this side of her not as callused and closed off but rather vulnerable.

‘so happens that you’ve become a special person to me

for once i had to protect you too.’

the heart on his uniform she stitched up.

it’s his brothers song. TT

him going to find her bc she might have been waiting in him. he’s not wrong. and her being concerned with him not being in the hospital bc of his injuries.

your life here might be shattered bc of me.

and i don’t like that.

she’s gets kidnapped. after all this. she even decorated a christmas tree and got him a gift.

held my breath for a solid minute after that gunshot.

ep 9-10. yes his freaking dad in these moments where i’m crying just provides the perfect comedic relief bc he can’t freaking believe what’s happening in front of him. “you make my heart flutter. the other dude.” even when you didn’t know it you saved my life. when he played the song for the first and last time for his brother.

how would i forget about a woman who feel from the sky? -jeong-hyeok

i didnt fall. i descended. -se ri

she freaking wrote i love you with the books.

his brother was such a good person and got the medicine for his friends baby.

when they had to say goodbye to each other. and when their eyes met once again.

ep 11-12. this episode. i loved seeing how the comrades reacted to the daily living of those in seoul. they were too precious. absolutely terrifying that cheol-gang made his way into a security. like what kind of background check did they get?!? like. come on.  

cannot believe that jeong-hyeok found her in an echoing parking garage. it’s destiny.

seo dan got the term ‘sweetmeat’ from seri stop it!!

all of the almost encounters had me dying, while the boys were trying to track down captain ri. the gaming to ignoring the call for chicken.

they wanted to recruit kwang-beom for an agency. they’re like your cover was blown bro.

talking about a future when he didn’t go back. married with twins. and he’ll play piano again.

them dresses as south koreans got me like. my goodness. they’re too much. them all hugging was beautiful. he missed them all so much.

her mother left her at the beach. like what the even. her sister in law gave him her address what the even, this side of her family is wack.

they surprised her for her birthday. my goodness. this moment i’m weeping then it’s like dang that would have been cute.

i’ll be thankful the person i love is still breathing.

and it will be a good year.

-ri jeong hyeok

ep 13-14. the couple rings.

our boys. slaying it. my gosh. when they’re all surrounding her after she was shot. and crying my heart broke.

i never played the piano. and i’ve never told anyone. until you crash landed into my word one day. that’s how i lived. but now i’ved changed. even if i have to worry about losing you, i want to have you in my life. even if it breaks my heart bc it’s a dream that can’t come true, i’d like to sincerely dream of a future. so please live. and listen to my words i still have stories that i haven’t told you yet. -ri jeong-hyeok

when she finally woke up and he ran in. the fact that the mole wire tapped the room while she was unconscious. and then the tape of her mom telling her and wanting to thank seri and ask for forgiveness, and also the fact that her oppa and sister in law wanted her gone...wack.

when he was showing her his scars and the boys walked in and thought something scandalous was up, i died laughing.

i love them together. “they’re curious about your face. i understand bc you look great from the back.” -seri with regards to the paparazzi posting a photo of him online.

the split second after cheol-gang died and ri jeong-hyeok contemplated ending his life, because he didnt know what would happen when he went back to north korea.

while seung-jung was hiding in the market after he ran away from his captors, and the orphans collectively sang that sad song to distract the officers and protect him.

when seung-jung gave seo dan the ring that she picked up from the store so he could give it to seri who gave it to the pawn shop, and he picked it back up and proposed to seo dan. i weeped, because why does this have to be so hard.

when the NIS was collecting data on the ‘spies’: purchases at internet cafe, downloading videos of his favorite drama star, chicken restaurant, etc.  i can’t.

him deciding to go protect her even though he missed his chance of leaving the north with his life. and that she would be the one crying for him once he died made him sad and happy.

seri would make the same decision again. to meet the people and keep the experiences she had. “the wind blows to move in, not to stay.”

the exchange at the boarder was all too much. they all had to say goodbye so quickly.

ep 15-16. her family is wack. thank goodness seodan was able to get her revenge and get all the information from the chinese gang to turn over her older brother.

he wrote her back in the bookshelf. and is sending her notes after he’s gone. her breakdown in the kitchen when she saw all that he left for her. and receipts.

them going for walks at the same time of day to have a shared moment.

all of captain ri’s men reminiscing of the good things seoul had. internet. electricity.

i love that seri made a limited edition product to pay tribute to the ladies that helped her in the north.

he got her a freaking plant. i can’t. she is carrying for the plant like a baby and taking it around with her. got to say nice things to it. i knew it the last thing she said was rihoseok. (honestly wanted it to be a tomato plant)

“season changed but messages kept coming.” i really love this.

“it was eldewiss let’s meet in the country where these flowers bloom.” tell me they meet. please. oh please.

when ri jeong-hyeok broke the news that he was moving on to become a pianist and that the new captain is not a handsome man. the ladies of the village faces just dropped. i can’t.

“he found me every time. and i’m sure he’ll find me again someday.” -seri

“edelweiss symbolizes precious memories. what should i do jeonghyeok? it’s impossible for me to herons your just as a memory. so even if we don’t meet this year, maybe next year. if that doesn’t work too, i’ll anticipate the year after that. until the day you find me i’ll be waiting and praying.” -seri

stop it she is going to go paragliding and meet him again. come on.

eun-dong saying he misses his sister. i love them.

most wonderful two weeks of the year. stop it they have a house together in switzerland. and they are living happily ever after.

i really don’t want it to end...

[kaisooficrec]

College AU Request

This is part two of this post. 

Last college au request was over a year ago and since this is a very popular au the list is insanely long! There are some fics older than the last req but that weren’t recommended yet so I included those too ^^ enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos & comments to the authors ♡♡♡

La Taille Parfaite - (ongoing) soulmates au, kyungsoo dreams of his soulmate’s dick and can’t wait to meet him

Criminally Romantic - kyungsoo is an author and jongin is a huge fan

Yes, the Brisket is Braised - (ongoing) Kyungsoo works part-time in a restaurant in which he meets the campus’ most popular jock jongin and is an asshole to him

Our Season - (ongoing) wolf & abo, they’re in the same frat house and are attracted to each other, but there are other guys who want a piece of kyungsoo’s ass (read: junmyeon is a little piece of shit)

The Deflowering of Do Kyungsoo - (ongoing) kyungsoo is very insecure about himself but jongin loves him and wants to show him just how much 

Sucker + Supermassive Black Hole - last two parts of a series where the boys are in college, established relationship, they deal with the struggles of life and how to keep their love going

Flawless - (ongoing) kyungsoo likes to crossdress which make people judgmental about him. he thought jongin was like all those people who make fun of him but jongin genuinely likes him

this gap can’t keep us apart - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in college and takes the bus every morning where he meets businessman!jongin and they start talking and getting close. turns out jongin is sehun’s older brother who is kyungsoo’s friend and they meet at their house when jongin discovered his girlfriend cheated on him again

Prank Gone Wrong - kai is a known prankster, so his bf ksoo decides to prank him instead one day. it backfires in a way he didn’t expect

Coffee - jongin found out taemin cheated on him which led him to the cafe where kyungsoo works~

Wild Flowers Worth Knowing - (ongoing) ot12 vampire au, kyungsoo’s life has changed for good after discovering vamp!jongin’s secret

i just need the time and place to come through - after ksoo’s been dumped jongin wants to teach how to fuck around, until he realizes he doesn’t want anyone else to have kyungsoo but him

run batted in - sports au, they’re from different colleges and during a competition they meet and voilà it’s instant love

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls - (ongoing) kyungsoo is in a studio art class and jongin is his nude model

lately all i want is you on top of me - *cries hearts* they both think they’re straight until jongin accidentally sends a pic of his ass to kyungsoo and it marks the beginning of their gayness

Campaigning For Your Heart - elections au, enemies to lovers, they both support different people and get into heated arguments, which is all just bottled up sexual tension really

there are no wrong mistakes - /heart attack/ kyungsoo is a homebody who’s quiet and thinks he is boring. his roommate’s best friend thinks otherwise. 

Pay Me Some Mind - (how was this not recced before? lol) fwb to lovers, kyungsoo doesnt know jongin’s had a crush on him for a while but that doesn’t stop him from catching feelings

Hurricanes - *my absolute fav* bad boy!jongin meets not-so-innocent!soo and they fuck, but kyungsoo thinks its a mistake and jongin is intrigued (liiiight angst)

You times infinite - they become study buddies and then kyungsoo is turned into a vampire and doesn’t know how to stay close to jongin without hurting him

A Certain Romance - sports au, they’re from different schools but during a competition, a certain captain catches ksoo’s attention and maybe he’s interested in football after all

Signal Lost (& Found) - /looooove this/ soulmates & coffee shop au, jongin gets tattoos of what his soulmate draws since he was a child and then one day it disappears, and he’s confused about what happened to his soulmate

Just Say You Want Me (That’s All It Takes) - god yes. established relationship and library fucking with top!soo and slut shaming. need i say more?

A Different Morning - (YEEEES) childhood bffs!kaisoo and vlogger!jongin, MUTUAL PINING but they’re both oblivious!!! 

Break a Leg - drama club au i liiiive for this! they had a one night stand and ksoo is kind of a bitter asshole who doesn’t want anything to do with super popular jongin after it

vertigo; crash - abo, omega!soo is accidentally put in the alpha dorms and jongin thinks he hates him

Clandestine Romance - arranged marriage but they love each other, ksoo is in his last year of college and his husband turns up to become his new dance teacher

Pumped Up Kinks - (ongoing) kyungsoo goes to a gay strip club for his 21st birthday and gets more than he bargained for

We Can Go Home - broken kaisoo, jongin has to ask his ex for help in maths, and then... KISS & MAKE UP

Mirrors - (ongoing) ksoo is a famous youtuber whose fans start a online fanwar with kim jongin’s fans. he decides to be mature about it and text jongin himself to apologize

So You Have a Crush (Here's How You Grapple with It) - sports au, jongin is a taekwondo player and has a crush on the judo captain ksoo, and tries to get him to teach him chokehold techniques. (smutttt)

Hair - (ongoing) kyungsoo found out he has stage 2 spinal cancer, so he decides that he wants to take some risks before he has to die, like have sex with a guy. and this is how he meets jongin

If Only I Knew - soulmates au, jongin wants to wait to find his soulmate to be in a relationship but when he meets kyungsoo he changes his mind (warning: character death)

Some Kind of Start - ksoo likes jongin and the latter knows but chooses to ignore it since he doesn’t like him back. sehun asks ksoo to fake date so he can make junmyeon jealous, but jongin is also a victim of jealousy

hold onto me tight and never let go - het!kaisoo with fem!soo, she has trouble letting go of her barriers and jongin really wants to get to know her more

P.S. You're Cute - (ongoing) jongin liked his senior’s profile on tinder and they matched

Cloud9 - transition from hs to college, jongin expressed his crush for ksoo although nothing happened, they meet again five years later in college

Perfection - vocal major!ksoo meets dance major!nini and decides he likes him and will take care of him

A Slice of Summer Love - jongin has a crush on the pizza delivery guy and orders too much pizza (very cute uwu)

I’m sorry I broke your hand, date me so I can make it up to you (kinda) - jongin tripped during a party and groped ksoo’s ass by accident, and ksoo’s reaction was to break his arm, but he took care of him as a form of apology

Aspartame (Just As Sweet) - jongin’s friend creates him an account on a sugar daddy website as a joke but he was curious and kept it and met kyungsoo

Kim Jongin's Must Kiss List - after an accident during a bake sale in high school, ksoo doesn’t stand jongin. in college nini puts up a “would kiss” list with ksoo’s name on it among others, and an angry ksoo retaliates by putting up a “would never kiss” list with only nini’s name on it, which is the start of everything

Love In Control - bdsm!au in which kyungsoo wanted a partner that would understand his needs and how to dominate him, and that person is kim jongin (warning: obviously bdsm and everything that comes with it. please read the tags carefully!)

No buts, just beauty - wolf au, kyungsoo is bullied and being told he’s ugly, jongin is making sure he feels beautiful

[Ain't] My Fault - top!soo greatness :-) they meet while jongin’s still with sehun but they break up soon after bc sehun cheated on him, and ksoo’s here to pick up the broken pieces

Treasure Trove - dragon au, ksoo is sick n jongin went to his room to give him candy and then they netflix and chill (literally)

Waiting for You to Make a Move - i’m fucking in love with this fic omg ;___; JONGIN IS A DRUM PLAYER and they were crushing on each other during the bus ride in the morning and then ksoo goes to chanyeol’s band’s gig and THERE HE IS JONGIN THAT SEXY MOTHERFUCKER. yes read it please (smut)

This is a start of something new.. - police officer!soo goes to check a college party that wasn’t reported and is stuck with a flirty jongin

Cafe Eau Laid - /sweats profusely/ wolf au and coffee shop au, jongin has a crush on a cute costumer that comes otfen but thinks the friend that comes along is his boyfriend when he’s really just an idiot. (public sex n size kink, you know its good)

My Universe - set in college au but it’s also mama au, jongin is having weird dreams that seem like memories of another life, and dreams of a certain guy that he seems close with.

Sweep You Off Your Feet (Or Mop Around) - kyungsoo works as a janitor at nini’s college to help support his family. they get to know each other and kyungsoo doesn’t tell him he’s not a student but after an incident, he’s fired from the job and has to forget about jongin as well

This is the college au tag for older requests ♡

- Admin Macaroon

[grouchythefish]

The 2010s, year by year.

I was inspired by @puzzled-dragon on twitter but but would rather do this here. I did not realize this decade sucked so hard. I put this under a read more because it’s long and sad af. I did not INTENTIONALLY make this depressing but thinking to each year these ARE the things I think of first. There’s a happy ending though, I promise. If this is too long, just read the first and last year and you’ll probably get the picture. (tw: depression, self-harm, death, suicidal thoughts, car accidents, sexual assault):

2010: Went on my first plane ride to visit my brother in San Francisco! Went to my first show that summer (warped tour - Sum 41!), then My Chemical Romance in December. Started volunteering with the Teen Advisory Board at the library. This was the year I first started realizing I had some mental health issues. My grandmother, who I was very close to, passed away. I was dealing with depression and self harming and learned I have ADHD. Started questioning my sexuality.

2011: The year of the January mystery evacuation! My strongest memories of this year are the summer. went to Warped Tour again (Motion City Soundtrack and Paramore!), joined Tumblr in July. I took 2 months of summer school by choice that year during which I read the Handmaid’s Tale and had a bit of a feminist awakening. Gwen and I started our band and started doing shows together. Started questioning my gender.

2012: Started IDing as asexual. Got into urbex for a little while. Graduated high school. Went to Warped Tour for the last time. Saw Mindless Self Indulgence and had my first serious panic attack. Started a visual arts degree at York. Lived on campus and lost a lot of weight REAL fast and got VERY sick. Now that I was 18 and no longer living with my parents I finally started getting treatment for my ADHD. Realized I was agender.

2013: Started playing quidditch and getting involved with York’s Harry Potter club (Ministry of Magic) where I met @ominouspotato and @puzzled-dragon​. Realized I was bisexual. Got my first job (tim hortons) then my first apartment (A complete disaster) My depression and anxiety got real bad towards the end of this year. I did go to a lot of shows though. (Fall Out Boy and Motion City Soundtrack come to mind) Started listening to WTNV not knowing that this would absolutely be a gateway podcast for me. 

2014: Moved in with my aunt Bev (not really my aunt) in Scarborough for the first half of the year then my parents for the second half. Bought my first binder. Became a Ministry of Magic exec. Saw WTNV live. Met my (now) ex at a PATD show in Feb, we started dating in Nov. Took the via rail for the first time.  Was sexually assaulted on my first date (I have never told anyone this until right now). Rode the go train a lot. Started trying to change my major to Digital Media.

2015: Moved back in with my aunt Bev and lived there for the whole year. (At the time I hated it but in retrospect she was real cool about a lot of stuff) Saw Motion City Soundtrack for the third and final time :’(. This is the year @ghirahims-left-shoe​ and I met Frank Iero and Gerard Way (who said my drawing were awesome!!!!!) Moved into the Forest Hill apartment (a mistake). Realized university was going nowhere for me. Saw WTNV live again.

2016: Dropped out of York and started at Seneca for Interactive Media Design. My (now) ex moved in with me and my roommates and shit hit the fan which resulted in us packing up and moving back to my home town (Cue the worst 3 years of my life) Got my G2 and started driving regularly, got in my first car accident. I worked 6 different jobs this year. My tax return was hell. I started getting really into podcasts this year.

2017: Started off real fucking depressed over the US election and somehow ended up turning to mbmbam to cope (a mutual on tumblr suggested it and I wish I remembered who so I could thank them for changing my life). Commuted to Toronto 5 days a week this whole year. Got engaged. Bought my first car in August (a beige impala). Had my first car written off in November when someone rear ended me on the 400. Bought my red elantra that I still have now. Joined the MBMBAM Gaming Server when I was at a very low point that fall and it was a god send - met some really really good friends though this. Joined roller derby. First realized I was in an abusive relationship.

2018: Got in another car accident. Quit my job in Toronto because I couldn’t handle the commute anymore after getting in 2 accidents in the same winter. Traveled to Detroit to see mbmbam live. Went through a YMCA employment program, which is how I got the most soulless job ever - but it was a short commute, looked great on my resume, and paid okay so I sucked it up. My depression and anxiety got worse and worse and I kept ignoring it, kept thinking if I just acted like things were fine they eventually would be (fake it til you make it is bullshit btw). Tried to leave my fiance a handful of times but never could. Tried and failed many many times to pass the roller derby minimum skills test. Started isolating myself more and more from my irl friends. My laptop kicked the bucket in August and I couldn’t afford to replace it.

2019 (Jan-Aug): In March I both got my dream job and went on my first big trip (New Orleans to visit my brother)! Got my first tattoo in July. My depression didn’t go away, though. I quit roller derby. A few doctor’s visits and many different ADHD medication trials later I found myself at my lowest point. I wasn’t sleeping but I also struggled to get out of bed. I felt like work was the only thing I could do so it was all I did and my anxiety only fueled this further. I thought that there was no one in the world who cared about me. I saw myself as a problem to the people around me. Something that needed to be removed. I was researching what pills I could overdose on and how many it would take and I started making real plans to kill myself in September. 

Spoiler: I didn’t! 

2019 (Sept-Dec): I saw a new doctor, took a break from work, and started on anti-depressants for the first time ever. Everything changed. I traveled to Buffalo to meet friends from the mbmbam gaming server and had online friends come to Barrie to visit me. I reconnected with my university friends after 2 years of self-isolation and we see each other regularly now. I went on my first solo trip to visit Gwen in BC and we are starting a podcast together (!!!). I found out my friends are also doing podcasts! I started working on having a better relationship with my siblings (we’re not there yet but making progress). I started coming out to people irl as agender for the first time and requesting they use my chosen name and pronouns. I replaced my laptop and started making art again! I applied for a bunch of zines and got into one! I finally worked up the strength to break up with my fiance for real. Just in these last few months I’ve made more new friends and spent more time with them than in the last 3 years put together. (If you are one of those new friends, I’m sorry if I’m weird or awkward, or say too much or too little or just the wrong things, I got used to not having friends and genuinely don’t remember how to be around people. Please be patient with me, I’m trying to get better.)

2020: I just had the first new years eve in a decade where I felt I was ending the year better than I started it. Things aren’t perfect (I still need my ex to move out, I still live in a town that makes me depressed, I’m still not out to my family, I’m still looking for a therapist) but for the first time in a long time, I’m looking forward to the future.

[theincompetentgenius]

hi ! could i request a life generator for ikerev please ? im v shy when i first meet people but v outgoing once we’re friends! i have a great sense of humour n im generally quite sarcastic ppl can never tell if i mean what im saying. im v protective n affectionate of ppl im close to & i absolutely adore sweets & animals ! my friends say im vv smart bc i never study and get good grades. i like learning new languages & i pick skills up v quickly ! in my free time i prefer to spend time alone (1)

Omg I’m SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG. I wanted to give this one some time so that it didn’t feel rushed but I never found the perfect time to start. So I hope this was good enough!

Thank you for your interest in the world of Dangerous Fellows. You will be reborn shortly. The simulation will start in 3…….. 2…… 1……..

B A C K G R O U N D

You stood in front of the mirror, placing the gold graduation cap on your head. It was a bittersweet moment-- you were happy to leave college, but you would miss the experiences that came with it.

At 22 years old, you held a 3.9 GPA while taking the most challenging courses and leading some of the most successful clubs at a high-tier university. Despite all your responsibilities, you managed to read your favorite books and watch the best television shows. In the end, you always balanced your time to get the most for the least amount of time.  But it would all come to an end today because you were going to graduate.

You left your dorm, calling you family to let them know that you were on your way to meet them. They were ecstatic to see you after four years of separation (despite meetings during breaks). Suddenly, a small white rabbit trotted down your path. It limped. Something tugged at your chest as you watched the rabbit stumble through the grass. Although it was injured, it wouldn’t stop running towards the flower field. It clearly wanted to be there.

“Don’t strain yourself. I’ll help you.” You scooped the rabbit in the palm of your hands and walked to the field. The rabbit squeaked, but you assumed it was aimless chatter.

Once you arrived at the flower bed, you placed the rabbit onto the grass.

“Goodbye, I hope you find your way.”

Its beady eyes followed as you stepped in the direction you had come from. As you walked, your foot collided with a large rock. You fell over as all your weight had been shifted to the injured leg. Although you braced yourself for the soft grass, your body never hit the ground. Instead, the wind rushed to your face and your hair flew in different directions. Once you opened your eyes, you realized that you were falling from the sky.

F R I E N D

Kyle Ash

The next set of events all happened in a blur. You landed in the arms of the Black Army King, somehow encountered and angered the red army, found out that you held magic-repellant properties, and were stuck here until the next full moon. Currently, you were wondering in the middle of a dimly-lit alleyway. It was a lot to take in.

However, you had injured your foot. It seemed that the rabbit had transferred his limp over to you, making you wonder if you could’ve avoided the whole mess if you had ignored the rabbit. You stomped your foot to assess the pain. All was well until a painful tingle crawled up your toes. The sudden pain caused you to stumble. It wasn’t terrible, but you hadn’t expected it to hurt that much.

“You alright there?”

You hopped around, trying to keep your toes in the air. The 7 of Hearts, Kyle Ash, stood at the ends of the alleyway.

“Yeah, I’m good,” You waved him off. But your hopping and pained smile gave it away.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to drag you to the Red Army. I just want to see your injury and make sure it’s nothing too serious.”

“I don’t have any reason to be suspicious of you. It’s not like the King, Queen, and Jack of the Red Army were trying to cut my head off earlier.”

Kyle shrugged. “That’s their duty. But my duty as the doctor is to ensure that everyone is safe and healthy. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from.”

After a moment of debating in your head, you realize that it would be difficult to continue walking with your pained toes. You peel off your shoes. The toes were swollen with large bumps of redness. Kyle stepped closer, inspecting the shape of each toe. You were uncomfortable with his closeness, but he didn’t notice.

“You have some bruising, but nothing seems broken. However, you can come with me to the Red Army to get that double-checked.”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

Other friends: Fenrir Godspeed, Zero

L O V E R

Edgar Bright

As you limped around the street, you realized that you needed a permanent place to stay. Your instinct was to find the Black Army. Ever since you arrived, they had been extremely kind and supportive of you. Besides, their protection ensured that the Red Army wouldn’t be able to harm you. You wandered around, looking for anyone who could guide you to the Black Army, but the streets were empty. Only the rustling trees kept you company.

“You look a little lost,” A soft voice spoke.

You jumped and turned around. It was the Jack of Hearts, who was probably trying to kidnap you. You thought about running, but your bruised toes pulsed in pain, reminding you that you were in no position to run.

He took a step closer. His right hand was stretched outwards while his left hand gripped his crested sword. The moonlight illuminated half of his face in a soft glow, while the other half was engulfed by the shadows of the night. Although there was a smile on his face, there was something wrong with it. Angelic but sinister.

“Do you need some help? I can show you the way back,” Edgar said.

You decided to talk. There was nothing else you could do but delay the inevitable.

“Actually, I do. Would you mind reopening the portal to another universe and send me back home? That way you guys don’t have to worry about me destroying the Red Army and I won’t have to worry about an army trying to kill me.”

“Is that how you got here Alice? Well, I suppose I could see if the King of Hearts could arrange that. Although we could provide you with a place to stay for the time being.”

You looked around. Although you couldn’t see anything, you were sure that there were soldiers stationed at every corner. It was the only thing keeping you from limping your way out of the town.

“Right. As if you guys aren’t going to lock me in a dungeon and torture me.”

Edgar’s smile widens. “I can’t guarantee that.”

“I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

F A T E

After Edgar brought you into the Red Army, you tried to run away twice. However, it was none other than Edgar himself who had caught you each time. While he never told anyone about your attempts, you were always worried that he’d tell someone. So you’d try your best to appear as likable towards him as possible. But as time went on, your facade turned into a genuine friendship and romantic feelings.

You ended up working with Kyle at the infirmary. Your sharp skills and quick thinking made you a perfect candidate for helping out the Red Army’s doctor (although Edgar thought you would make an excellent swordswoman). At first, it was difficult dealing with the goriness, but you learned to adapt to stressful situations. With practice and time, you became known for your work as Kyle’s assistant.

When the full moon came around, you were placed with a difficult decision. Although you had grown to love the Cradle, you know that the real world had endless opportunities for you. You hadn’t worked so hard to be the best student at your college just to throw it away for a few magical men, so you asked the Red Army to send you back. Edgar decided to escort you there as his final goodbye.

As you stood in front of the portal, your old memories rushed back to you. Laughter with your friends, smiles with your family, and the excitement of your upcoming graduation. But when you turned back to say goodbye to Edgar, your mouth wouldn’t open. There were just as many wonderful memories with him. If you turned your back on him, this would be the end of it all.

So you turned around and ran towards Edgar. You wrapped him in your arms and felt tears rush down your face. The feeling was bittersweet, but you had made up your mind.

You were going to stay.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

why doesn’t the current employment system work?

easy, it’s a half-assed one-solution-fits-all approach made by rich people who have NEVER used the employment search system.

-

How does it work?

You want centrelink? You get assigned a job-search centre, there’s always 4-5 in even small towns now. It’s a lucrative business.

You’re told ‘search for 20-40 jobs per month’ based on your area. They have to be jobs you could reasonably do (one or two assholes made sure the whole system was tightened bc they’d apply for things they had no qualifications for). 

These are entered online, on a special governmental site. Failure to locate the right amount gets you a strike, or more than one.

Which is hard because there are only so many jobs in smaller towns, right?

So let’s say you have no luck, you hand in the 20 for that fortnight, and ‘report’ online to centrelink that you are following the rules.

They also make you do mandatory courses such as the 2-day ‘Resume Writing Course’ that you can do up to twice in 6 months. It’s as stupid as it sounds, and you learn nothing but that you hate the place.

Also, 3-day mandatory ‘Communication with People’. How to talk to people. Literally. 3 days of your life gone. Gee, wish I’d done some sort of degree around literally talking to people and using analysis... hmmm... 

They do not Recognise Prior Learning, at all. Because each person they make attend gets them more and more money.

-

New rules allow for them to identify a job you HAVE to apply for -even if you must write a new resume and cover letter. Which, in some cases, is a little fair.  Maybe you’re using one from years ago.

New rules can make them demand you call the HR of a certain place in front of them, to prove your resume went in, and to ask about the position. Of course, this will slap you on the Hell No list, but at least they’re satisfied.

New rules allow them to make you change your existing resume -e.g. they can demand you remove your degree/qualifications to make you more attractive to retail employers (always wary of taking on someone who might move on quickly).

That only works for 6 months these days.

- - - 

After 6 months, they send you on a Work-for-the-Dole assignment to a local charity.

They’re supposed to do risk assessments, and follow up on allegations of groping weirdoes and pedophilia (looking at you, Salvation Army*). But they don’t. [ *that person who did it was literally the Community Member of the Year until the truth of what the local SA was covering up came to light. Fucking creep of a man, so many flags that Jesus absolved him of.]

That nonsense injured two members of my family directly, as well as others; at the same place, at different times, and both were deemed ‘our fault’. Despite that the first incident involved an unqualified asshole making a teenage boy hold a fridge, then deliberately dropping the truck tray fast so it yanked the ligaments in the kid’s shoulder so badly it took 6-12 months to heal with physiotherapy.

And the second time, a bookshelf held up with STICKY-tape was broken by a customer, and fell off slamming into my knees and feet, causing untold agony... resulting in a fractured patella in one knee and severe bruising/clicking/weird shit that persists even a year and a half later... but that was my fault.

-----------------------

In short, each person is assigned up to 55 hours per fortnight that they have to undertake with a charity of some formation. OR ROADWORK - they can also make you do roadwork. Like they tried to do to the just-healed teenage boy the minute his medical exemption period was up, even though he couldn’t raise his arm all the way yet. It’s Making Money, not Helping People Find Jobs.

They also made an app, that the person attending MUST download (even if you have to delete just about every single other thing on the cheap phone to make room for it).

It’s called Jobapp or some shit. Basically, when you get there the manager or head volunteer (often tech illiterate) HAS to print a QR code for you, and only you.

You sign into the app, this takes a while bc it’s not well designed and cuts out often. Finally, you find the hard-to-locate-and-ambiguously-named part where you can ‘sign in’ as being at your ‘activity’.

If you’re there all day, and you will be, there are Two Codes.

You scan them to separate locations in the app. And boom, you’re registered as there. It only takes one missed QR code or app failure to land you in shit, though.

And then you spend all day cleaning, on the till, arguing with people over op shop items bc they feel certain prices are too high even if it’s less than a third the real price. And you’re not allowed to sit or chill or anything... unless you’re a volunteer. They can get away with murder.

So that goes on for six months, slowly draining the will to live from your bones.

All the while, you still have to do the 20-40 jobs things and find time for their Training Modules that you already did but hey, you’re a moneymaker. Sometimes they will NOT count the training days towards your Total 55hours per fortnight, so you lose the one free day a week you had...

---------------

It sucks... but I think the other thing we should mention is that this doesn’t really exclude any jobseekers.

Disabled? Elderly? Medical Issues? Can’t speak english very well? Other issue?

Get in there. We get paid to supervise your activity!

Like, there are a lot of people doing job seeking activities who are unfit for the position they are forced into. For many reasons.

-----------------

The thing I found laughable was that they could apply for you, without your knowledge, and if that resulted in an interview you HAD to go. If they feel you tanked the interview, they can penalise you...

There are ways to tank an interview, though. Trust me.  Especially for telemarketer interviews, just have an awkward phone manner, like you’re trying but it’s Weird. And boom, no. [Not that there’s anything wrong with that job, but they signed me up for it without my permission and some dangerous clients worked there, I would not have been safe, they didn’t care tho].

Also, you can’t apply for certain positions for someone with a degree. Our ability is measured in the way we respond to the questions and assessment requests... you can force us to apply to them, but trying to write in for us is just ridiculous. 

They might also call and call and call anyone on your applied-for list that they directed you to apply for... which of course, can tank your chances. Very annoying.

And if you get a job, on your own merit, they take credit for it immediately. I assume there’s a bonus or something.

- - - - - 

The agency I was sent to, MaxEmployment, was actually THROWN OUT OF ANOTHER STATE FOR COMMITTING FRAUD AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT.

So naturally, QLD said ‘yeah, let’s have that one’.

M.E. allegedly used to claim they had held mass training events with 80+ people every few weeks, doing those awful little courses listed above.  Except, on inspection by confused governmental officials..,. they discovered the room would barely hold 5-6 people including a trainer. Therefore, fraud.

Also, M.E. has failed to catch fake-ads (resulting in free 2-hour work ‘trials’ for a certain cafe that went over a year, fraud) and even sent an unaccompanied 15 year old girl to a fucking BROTHEL after identifying a clearly-not-for-an-admin ad for ‘an admin’ at that location.

IT’s always MONEY.

--------------------

If you are in charge of the poor, the ill, the desperate... then it should not be for money incentives. You should get a flat wage and that’s it.

Why? Because then people who are actually able to do the job, and willing to help people, will do it. Not just people who see dollar signs when they look at the tired, the unemployed and the ill.

And they need to actually fire bad people.

Let me tell you about this woman I had to deal with in a 6 month break from my fucking uni degree due to illness. Automatically, they threw me into job seeking.  I didn’t have a voice for like 2 months, but that didn’t matter.

This huge, hulking, rotund potato of a woman, balding ranga and a face as mean as a bulldog’s arsehole... was my caseworker person. She was a nightmare.

I would find 20 jobs, and hand in the sheet, she would yell at me, that I was being smart and she wouldn’t accept that. I once applied for nearly 65 jobs in one fortnight out of desperation, because she kept having my centrelink cut off without warning if I refused to complete another sheet.

The other caseworkers never stopped her. The manager would not hear my complaints or concerns. She could do what she wanted.

And she knew I could not stop her. The one thing about the situation that kept me apart form others there was that, if I absolutely couldn’t take it, my parental unit said we would ‘manage’ until I went back to uni the next year. Others were unable to do that, and so, this absolute cunt of a woman... held sway.

She had no class, no charm and no people skills. She screamed at the top of her lungs at a tiny asian lady who a) didn’t have a great grasp on english at the time, and b) did not understand all the big words this self-important ranga was using just to sound intelligent.

Apparently the solution to ‘I do not understand’ is raise your voice, to screaming, and get angry. NONE of her colleagues even looked up at her.  Jesus, if one of my colleagues was yelling like that I’d have dragged them out of the room by their fucking hair, like what the HELL was that about.

Was she stopped or fired? No. Was she transferred to some unsuspecting town? Yeah.

I don’t trust organisations who will not admit they hired the wrong person, and fire them. It means they’re hiding shit.

--------------

TL;DR - The whole system is a disaster.

They claim more people are employed, but they also count people on those mandatory work-for-the-dole things, which skews the unemployment number to less than it is.

It is exhausting to deal with and its no wonder so many fucking people are so depressed death seems like the only solution.

And it was all thanks to a handful of people rorting the system; the idiots up top went into red-alert levels of panic and upended the system to punish people.

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN FUCKING TALKING ABOUT THE NEW BASICS CARD SYSTEM

which is nonsense

sure, limit what people can get to groceries and certain stores, including op shops or whatevs. can’t get smokes or alcohol on the cards...

have to have ID for the cards...

but like, you think people won’t find ways to get the smokes, drugs and alcohol they want? you’ve just ensured that they either pawn their things, or do degrading acts to get those things...

so give yourselves a moralistic high-five, people who decided this system was a great idea (primarily bc they and their family/social circle will never need to use it), because you’ve cause d so many more problems than you solved...

[inkstainedfanfics]

Ceramic Elephants

Summary: Reader and Theseus share their daily lunch in the Ministry, and it’s all fine until Theseus shuts up.

Word Count: 1,974

Pairing: Theseus x Reader

@dont-give-a-bother @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @aurorcarter @thereaperisabitch @jackdawsonsgrl @drdanwrites @ly--canthrope @caseoffics @benniesgalaxy @whatinbenaddiction @studyforthreehands @deliriousinferno 

I am not certain if the read more will work bc of Tumblr’s recent issues, so I apologize if there is no read more. I tried my best to include one. The weird symbols in the OP are also because of some new problem with the site.

“So, how’s the Ministry’s favorite bad boy today?”

Your words fall on deaf ears as the glass door to your office swings open, and Theseus sweeps into the room. His broad shoulders bump a shelf and send a tiki carving clattering to the ground, but he hardly notices as he falls into the spare chair of yours that he’s practically claimed as his own since you started working here two years ago.

With a great sigh, he tosses his burger onto the only empty corner of your desk, watching it teeter on the end. An arrogant grin lights up his dark eyes as the burger slowly settles on your desk. “Remind me again why I’m not a professional quidditch player.”

You roll your eyes, taking another bite of your salad.

“Now,” he settles his hands behind his head, leaning the chair back on two legs, “what did you call me?”

You talk around the lettuce in your mouth, ignoring his handsome smile. “I asked, if you would care to listen, how the office’s favorite bad boy is.”

“Oh, I’m doing quite well, thank you.” He lets a beat pass, eyebrow raising and nearly disappearing beneath his unruly dark hair. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, but is that your new nickname for me? Because I think I could live with that. Much better than neighborhood prick or annoying coworker.”

You shake your head, a wicked smile on your face as you cross your legs. His words are light, teasing the way they always are with Theseus. Flirtatious, almost, if you’d believe it. “I didn’t pick it. That’s what the newsletter’s calling you.”

His easy grin vanishes, replaced by wide eyes and drooping shoulders. “No.” He drops his head onto the back of the chair as it thuds back onto all four legs. “Oh, no, please, no, don’t tell me that’s my new nickname in the office. You I could deal with. The office calling me that behind me back?” He runs a hand over his face, shrugging when you giggle. “That’s it. I’m going to have to resign. A damned shame, for a man so young as me, but what’s a man to do when the office starts to call him a ‘bad boy.’” He shudders.

You gesture toward the folded note with your fork, a leaf of lettuce fluttering on the end of it. “Go ahead. It was Cynthia’s week to write it.”

Theseus’s familiar heavy cologne washes over you as he plucks the note from the desk. “Of course she wrote it. Who else would choose that phrase?”

“My favorite part is when she describes you as ‘ravishing’ and ‘unprecedentedly brave.’”

Theseus groans. “Unprecedentedly brave? I did what any sane man would do.”

You shrug. “I don’t know, maybe Cynthia just doesn’t know any sane men. She’s not exactly the easiest to get along with.”

“Not that you would be offending a precious coworker in front of a beloved higher-up in the Ministry.”

“You’re not above me, for the last time.”

You already regret the words as he glances up from the note, a mischievous glint in his eye.

You hold your fork up as he opens his mouth. “Not. A. Word.”

He obediently closes his mouth, though that wayward grin remains.

“I meant,” you say, tossing your box of salad into the trash to reach for grapes, “that we’re equals in all but ridiculous titles.”

“Well I don’t know about ‘ridiculous.’”

“Ridiculous. Your titles shouldn’t be longer than your name.”

“What can I say? My mother was a simple woman, but I am not a simple man.”

“I’ll remember that the next time I address you, Oh Mr. Head Minister of the Ministry’s International War division, Special Missions Auror, King emperor of the isle of Wales, Theseus Scamander.”

“Don’t forget the Esquire.”

You roll your eyes. “How could I?”

He reaches over, snagging a grape from your box and popping it into his mouth. “Y’know, this gossip newsletter probably breaks like, millions of Ministry privacy regulations.”

“Probably.”

“And we could get in loads of trouble for just reading it.”

“More than likely.”

“So who’s head feature this week?” He settles back in his seat, reading the short two pages as you eat and watch his expression shift with each bit of gossip.

“So?” You ask as he sets it back on your desk.

“Pretty interesting stuff in there, huh?”

“Can you believe that Ryans was caught with Mandy? Absurd.”

“Yeah, there’s a couple absolutely none of us saw coming.”

You snort. “Tell me about it.”

There’s a moment of silence. Quite unusual when Theseus is around. Looking back up at him, you catch him staring at you, fingers thrumming a beat against his thigh.

“Theseus, is there a reason you’re staring at me? Do I have dressing on my chin?” At this thought, you lunge for a napkin. Grabbing one, you wipe at your chin and sit, but as you step back to sit down again, your foot catches on the leg of you chair, and you tumble back, a strangled shout in your throat. This is it. This is how you die.

You think you must’ve said something to that effect because Theseus’s deep laugh bounces through your small office a moment after you think it. You squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for the inevitable pain of slamming into the office floor.

There’s a crash of your chair falling and smashing into the shelf. Everything tumbles after the tiki statue, all slamming into the thin carpet with one loud bang.

Peeling your eyes open, you take inventory of what in Godric’s name just happened. Everything you’d stacked up over the past two years lies in a giant pile. Some statues are chipped, others totally shattered, thought a bit of magic can fix those. Your chair is tilted, legs in the air, one pressing up likely uncomfortably into Theseus’s thigh.

As for Theseus…

You’re in his arms, pressed against his sturdy chest. His chin’s on the crown of your head, and you can feel the breath from his laugh knocking your hair onto your forehead. His hands are resting at your sides, arms wrapped around your waist. You’re leaning right into him, caught between his legs.

You hesitate to move, leaving a moment of indecision—Theseus is warm and unexpectedly comfy—but then you realize that you’re lying in your coworker’s arms and really, is there anything more inappropriate than that? Or, worse, is there anything that would appear more inappropriate to the shocked face of Cynthia who just happened to be walking past your office when you fell?

“You okay?” Theseus asks as you claw your way from his grip.

Merlin have mercy on you, did the entire office hear that? Ryans and Toby have crowded around your door, wands raised, ready to curse any intruder. Your face burns. They’re all ready to fight but how do they fight your clumsiness?

Theseus’s hands still linger on your waist, ensuring you’re steady. You shove them off, spinning on the crowd of onlookers. “I’m fine, thank you.” There are tears burning in your eyes. Gods, do you really have to cry? As if this isn’t embarrassing enough. But your words are spiked, high, and surely trying to say something to that crowd will only worsen the moment.

You are so going into next week’s gossip newsletter.

You swipe at your eyes, desperately knocking the tears away, back to the others. You don’t have long before the crowd of three will start to wonder what’s going on.

Theseus leans around you, raising a hand in a half-wave. “It’s all good here, everyone. My fault, really. I really need to watch where I step. Who’d have thought one misplaced step could destroy an office?” He shrugs, that easy grin appearing.

Cynthia looks skeptical, but Theseus doesn’t bother to offer any further explanation. He just lifts his wand and swings the door shut in their faces, effectively dismissing them.

You step around him, digging through the pile of broken memorabilia. Magic would make the job much easier, but at least this way you don’t have to meet Theseus’s eyes. Or even pretend any of that just happened. “Lunch is almost over.”

He ignores your clear dismissal. “I’m the best here. What are they going to do, fire me?”

“They just might,” you say briskly, hoping against hope that Theseus will just step out of your tiny office.

“Pah, as if Brian would have the guts to do that. Y’know, I think I’m going to get his job whenever he resigns.”

“That’s good for you.”

“Comes with a good steady schedule.”

“Mmhmm.”

“And a nice raise with that.”

“Yeah, that’s great.” For all that’s sacred, why won’t he just leave?

“Perfect for taking someone out to a nice restaurant, y’know.”

You freeze, hand half wrapped around a ceramic elephant. “What?” Did Theseus just… did he actually just ask you out?

To your absolute appalment, a calloused pair of hands dig into the pile next to you, retrieving the elephant from your slack grip. “You kept this?”

“What?” You snap back into attention. “I—Yes. But don’t get all sentimental. I just thought it was cute.”

You can almost hear Theseus’s grin. “No, I would never expect it’s because it came from me or anything.”

“Well, good. Because I wouldn’t keep it for you.”

“You already said that.”

Your cheeks are on fire. Why does he have to make you feel so absurdly unbalanced? “Someone needs to drive it home in your head.”

He laughs, a low sound that’s so warm and inviting that you’d instantly loved it the first time you’d entered the office two years before. “Ah, so glad it’s you driving points home and not my mother anymore. She was such a nag. Always on me and my brother. He was the real troublemaker, always tracking mud through the house, y’know. Though I suppose you don’t. You’d say I’m being unfair.”

You blink, mouth dry. “I guess, yeah. Your brother isn’t here to defend himself.”

Theseus’s handsome smile returns. “You could meet him, if you’d like. He’ll be in town on Friday.”

Where in Merlin’s name is this coming from? Had you just misheard him? Or had you just wanted a date so much that you’d misunderstood? “Sure, yeah, I bet he’s nice.”

“So you want to meet him?”

Why won’t he just leave so you can figure out what’s going on? “Yeah, sure.”

“Great. He’ll be in town with his new girlfriend. I figured we could do something like a double date for dinner at Ozi’s downtown.”

So he was asking for a date.

Holy niffler.

Theseus turns the elephant over and over in his hands, peering up at you from under his long eyelashes. His lips form a line, as though he’s nervous.

You realize with a start that he is. Despite his bravado and cool confidence, Theseus is nervous.

“So? How about it?”

“Uh yeah, a dinner date sounds grand.” Grand? Did you really just say that? You want to drop your head into your hands and hide.

Theseus, though, lights up. “Great. I’ll pick you up at six. Sound good?”

“Yep.” You press your lips together. No way you’re saying the word grand again.

“Great.” Theseus nods, more to himself than to you. “Great. Need any help with any of this?”

You follow his gesture to the pile of broken goods. “No, I can handle it. Thanks though.”

He nods and stands. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

He pauses at the door, one hand wrapped around the handle. He’s half turned toward you. “For what it’s worth, I can’t wait for Friday.”

Then he’s gone, leaving without another word, and you’re left with a mess and a sudden explosion of butterflies in your gut.

[crptkng]

I feel like I need to post about this because I have nothing better to do and because I would genuinely like to share my experience with BPD (borderline personality disorder) 

Now this will get pretty ugly and show the worst parts of me but please don’t think I’m an inherently toxic person for my behaviors that I could not control and that I have better control of as now. 

One of the first things you’ll notice about BPD is a marked disturbance in interpersonal relationships I’ve always had a very hard time keeping friends. I would have a certain friend for about a year and then we’d drift apart for no reason. Nothing totally horrible has happened in most of my past relationships, we’ve just either drifted apart or lost contact. However, that’s not to say I haven’t had a few not so healthy relationships. With BPD comes this fun little side effect of you possibly developing an unhealthy attachment to a certain person or people. This has happened to me on multiple occasions, 3 to be exact. This coins the term FP or favorite person.

The earliest I can ever recall and that I recognize now as being such was a good friend of mine that I met back in 2010/2011. My relationship with them wasn’t directly stormy in the beginning. I would see them at least once a week and all, but whenever I heard them mention another friend of theirs or that they would be hanging out with someone that wasn’t me I would get very angry and passive aggressively take it out on them. At first it was just that but it did start to go downhill when we hit high school and we started seeing less of each other. I would still be passive aggressive about the people they hung out with and all but the cake was taken when they got a boyfriend. I didn’t like him for one reason or another, still not entirely sure why but I but I went as far as accusing him of possibly making my friend “do something they didn’t want to” and kept nagging them about it. They ultimately broke up and we slowly lost most communication. I was sent spiraling into hysteria about losing my “only friend”. My whole school day was compromised to the point I called them into the school counselors office to force them to talk to me. After this we talked it out and were friends again. 

Around this time they introduced me to this guy who was and, to this day, still is one of my absolute best friends. The three of us were all really good friends and even had a group chat on skype together. After a few months of being friends I started having feelings for him but he had feelings for the friend that introduced us. I took this pretty hard and started accusing them of going behind my back outside of group chats and talking about me and just in general having more fun without me.This is the part where it all blew up and I decided I would rather isolate myself from this guy so I deleted him from skype and my phone contacts. Stayed friends with the first FP for a while before that eventually fizzled out. About a year later the dude my ex FP introduced me to popped into my head and I readded him on Skype. Come to find the two of them dated over the summer but broke up and he’d already gotten a new boyfriend. Everything was fine and we almost immediately got back into our old routine of watching stupid videos and shows as well as listening to music, sometimes inviting his boyfriend to join us. the three of us were friends for about 2 years before his ex developed feelings for another friend of theirs. My friend unfortunately had to hear it from a third party and not directly from his ex himself. This sent me into a rage and I verbally attacked his ex a few times, going so far as to harass him for a year before we made amends this fall and we’re even friends now!!

After they broke up with my friend and I had verbally ripped his ex a new one, about 3 months later my friend/FP and I confessed our crushes for each other and started dating in the spring of 2017. Summer 2017 came and he and I got to meet up for the first time in our almost 5 years of knowing each other. Our romantic relationship was not at all healthy in the slightest. I would need constant assurances of his feelings for me and if there was the slightest change in tone i’d immediately shift into a sour mood. Along with this I had the repeat actions of getting passive aggressively angry when he’d mention anyone else but me or make plans with someone else. Summer comes and goes and we’re still together even though i’m out of line, we even make plans for me to fly fully paid for by his mother to come see him over the Christmas break. this is where things got worse. I was constantly clingy and wouldn’t leave him to do his own thing, and would get jealous and passive aggressive whenever he’d hop on voice chat to play games. I would have major anxiety whenever I wasn’t near him and so on. Eventually while I was there we broke up. Him needing to focus on schooling and not being able to keep me happy and under control. Although we broke up I stayed the duration of my trip and we remained good friends.In fact, I’m trying my best with my holiday job to earn enough to buy him a ticket up to Seattle to see him again <3

My unhealthy relationships don’t stop there but are more brief than the one beforehand 

After my FP and I broke up I started talking regularly to this guy I used to talk to on skype before the great migration to discord.  

He and I talked from around January to June 2018. We’d go back and forth teasing each other and had an amazing friendship overall. Around the February is when I developed a crush on the guy which was... Not too great. Not only was he my crush but he was another FP. I would fixate on him when I thought I made him upset and would have major anxiety about it until proven otherwise, as is usually the case with most people for me.

Cut to March which just happens to be my birth month and I plan a desert date with a couple of my friends, him included. We all go to the mall near by and have a good time. This would be the first, and last time I got to meet him in person as he lived over an hour away by bus. We part ways with a hasty hug because I had to catch my bus back home. After this we plan on meeting up again but it turns out that he’s being kicked out by his mother that recently remarried and has to move to California. He ends up moving but we still stay connected on Discord and are still friends. April is when we start flirting with each other and we eventually send nudes back and forth to which I get a less than pleased response about my body.

At first I brushed it off bc you know I was enchanted by him. But then he proceeds to ghost me twice after this, once because of the nude and twice bc I told him I liked him.

During this he also blocked me on Discord for a few days as a joke because I insulted a titty anime he liked but came back and told me excitedly he was moving back to Washington but because he didn’t feel like he could tell me he didn’t want to have sex like we talked about he ghosts me. I eventually have an encounter where I was sexually assaulted and he said nothing about it and ignored my distress, eventually blocking me for good because I started going off on him like I did with my friends ex.

The next FP has a short history as he’s my current FP.

This guy is still kinda my friend but we don’t hang out in person anymore and he hardly responds to my texts or calls. But!!

I noticed this one when I realized I was doing the same thing I do with all my FPs which is get jealous of the people he talks about. One person in particular, too.

I reconnected with him during the summer 2018, about a month after the incident with the last guy mentioned, we quickly started hanging out again and even had a couple make out sessions. I didn’t notice right away that I was reacting the way I was until one day I noticed myself using manipulative language because he declined my invitation to go get food. This happened a couple of times, most significant of which was when he texted me the morning after he went out and partied. I jokingly asked him “ without me?” “Yee”. I was able to restrain and reroute what I was saying to make it seem less manipulative. Going back to me being upset when he mentions someone else. He has a crush on this girl who’s a mutual friend of ours and one night he invited me over to hang but we ended up going to the mall she worked at so he could try and convince her to join us. She said no, and we left. But he proceeded to talk about her for a good half hour after. He also knew I had a crush on him at the time so that double set me off. Halloween rolls up. He and another best friend of mine come over for drinks and to just chill in general. He asks me who all is coming and asks abt her. I don’t invite her because she’s leaving for a trip the next morning. Previous to this I met up with her and her now boyfriend and she tells me they got back together. She hadn’t told my FP and was never going to in the first place. He mentioned her again and I consider telling him then and there but decided not to at the moment. After Halloween is when he starts ghosting me and I get angry bc he’s not giving me attention so that’s when I tell him. Not out of the kindness of my heart but out of spite for being ignored. He and I don’t talk as much but I assume we’re on ok terms!

These are my most relevant people attachment stories. But I’m far from over with this post which is already a LOT.

Another fun part of BPD that I experience is the lack of identity.

I can easily attach myself to fictional characters and identify with them so strongly that I feel like I become them. This has happened most significantly with Dean Winchester from Supernatural and Charlie Kelly from Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

With Dean it was probably the strongest. I started listening to the music he did and wearing leather and becoming aloof like he was. Just overall taking small traits and becoming like him.

Charlie was more of a comfort character who I also took small traits from and started dressing like him.

As well as taking on their traits I considered career paths similar to theirs. Bartender and janitor for Charlie and a cop for Dean.

It doesn’t stop at fictional characters either. I notice I take on bits of the people I’m with and mold myself into who they are. I laugh like them and want to do the same things that they do even if I’m bad at it. Another HUGE symptom of BPD and one of the most common criteria for it is uncontrollable bouts of anger  First and most recent example I have being when my last ex broke up with me. I spent two days in a rage threatening to do harm to him and, as he is an addict, told one of his friends that he could “Die in a ditch with a needle in his arm”. Every time I thought of him my body would go cold and I would shake with rage. Second example I can think of that I’ve had to do on many occasions is my plans and needs being shoved behind by my mother and me getting so enraged I had to go chop a dead tree in our back yard. Third and final example I have of some of my rages comes back to the person who ghosted me because I was fat.After he did that and found out he was lying to me about everything I sat for a good half hour staring at the group call he was in on a mutual discord server and planned on going in and yelling at him while everyone was there. I ended up not doing it but that was another example of me shaking with rage and my body going cold.  Mood swings are prevalent in people with BPD The most notable examples i have are, with the most severe being the time I took a book and smashed it on my desk, cried and then started laughing at the Mishapocolypse  all in the span of about 15 to 20 minutes and several times when I felt extremely inadequate to everyone or when I misinterpreted the tone of my FP and sent myself spiraling into a depression.  Some people with BPD may also have hallucinations I’ve had one that’s the most notable, being the time I hallucinated the smell of doritos when there were none near me at the time because I was outside away from home, Another when I was sitting in my therapists office. she noticed me looking away from her towards the floor at what I saw as a blue dot that looked like a very small light from a charging cord on a laptop battery pack. And last, but most recent is when I was outside on a walk and seeing several blue dots blinking in the bushes where no other lights would be.   Another marked trait of BPD is Impulsivity    I’ve dealt with impulsivity in a couple different area. Notably though are the several unsafe sexual encounters I've had with multiple partners, turning to drugs or alcohol to cope with stress or sadness and my spending money when I have very little. People with BPD can suffer from intrusive thoughts These are NOT fun or cute like tumblr likes to make them out to be. Here’s a list of mine that go from not so bad to holy shit go get help. 

Fp not talking to you this exact moment?: Pull your hair out 

Chugg the whole bottle of asprin

Punch that dog

Bite the cat

Feeling angry and wanna take it out on something?: Grab one of the hamsters and SQUISH!!!

I wanna peel the skin off a frog

Step on your grandpa’s ventilator tube

Take that baby by the legs and swing it’s head into the wall

These are just some of the symptoms I suffer from and my personal experiences with BPD and as I say in the tags, people experience these symptoms differently. If you can relate to these symptoms and are not diagnosed, I suggest taking it to a professional who can help you further research and help you recover.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

a list of gross/weird ass advances that i’ve had from people:

•that one boy in primary school who was a younger brother of someone in my year, in the year under us, that harassed me for like two years straight by following me around singing/rapping eminem’s “shake that” ft nate dogg to me. like y’all this shit was happening when i was like 9-11 years old. and this behaviour ruined that song for me for literal YEARS. obvs, you could fight this one with “well, he was just a kid and you were as well. so, it can’t really be helped or criticised bc he was just repeating the things you’d both heard on the tv/radio. he probs thought at the time that this was an okay song (which it obvs wasn’t) to sing to a girl that he liked; bc it was so popular back then (2005-2006)” which, of course, is to some extent true. but still???? a kid should know the meaning of “can you please STOP following me around singing that song, thanks?” that i asked him several times to do, but he kept doing it, until i told a teacher.

-that one time at 13/14 when i signed up to facebook for the first time ever, after two years of being used to myspace (good times),and got automatically signed up to the dating app zoosk bc FB had decided to sign me up as single and lonely and therefore, i needed a man. so, i spent my first 3 fucking months of facebook trying to find how to deactivate that fucking app and had men in their late teens to their early/mid 20s hitting on me through the whole thing. but at least most of the guys were understanding here and were rightfully freaked out as i was that fb had signed a fucking 13/14 year old up to a motherfucking dating service.

•”your name is so fucked! like it’s so hard to learn how to fucking spell and pronounce... like why the fuck would your parents call you that bc no one would call their kid that??? anyway, I’m just gonna call you *insert plain ass white girl name here* for the rest of conversation bc it’s soooo much easier for me! but like, why the actual fuck won’t you give me more than two word replies you super over conceited bitch!? when i’ve been nothing but nice to you?!  btw you’re sexy anyway and that should fix this. ps. send me nudes on snapchat bc its 2am and im lonely.” (all the same guy.)

•”oh hey.... we should make a wager where we if we ever meet and go out to a bar.... and we should bet off each other virginity’s right? are you with me? anyway, so, we go to a bar and see who gets fucked first and so loses their virginity first. and whoever loses their virginity first has to fuck the other one so that we both lose out virginity on the same night! sounds like a great idea doesn’t it? hahahahaha 😂😅 ”constant harassment for nudes and nude videos to be this guy’s private cam girl, bc apparently “following you for 4 years on tumblr is a lot of trust and so you owe me nudes bitch” ”oh and by the way, how are all your vibrators? are they getting a good work out? 😉😏😏” (this is all the same guy who follows me on here.)

•that one dude who thought that me inviting a friend along with me to us meeting in Bondi (in Sydney) made my friend an awkward 3rd wheel bc apparently we were a couple bc he liked all my posts on this godawful problematic hellsite. he was 18 like me. but still.

•those two 28 year olds who harassed me with sexual messages when I was 17 again on this godawful hellsite. and one of those guys always asking for selfies bc I was “so hot” and “so pretty” like y’all I WAS A FUCKING CHILD AND THEY WERE FULL GROWN ADULT MEN PAYING BILLS AND SHIT. IT WAS LIKE: PLS TRY AND PULL WOMEN YOUR OWN AGE. and then the other dude using the teacher sex fantasy where they fuck in the girls changeroom after sport.... when he was literally old enough to be a PE teacher at my school.

•literally just everything my high school stalker said to me back in the day and when I ended up running into him in 2015 on the bus home from uni.

•that one guy who I s2g was in his 30s and not his 20s like he said; from like azerbaijan or some other random country, hitting on me when I was 18/19 bc I “looked like a nice girl”

•those two guys somewhere in their 20s (where one of the guys was trying to set me up with his friend) when I was 17/18 who kept asking me if I’d ever watched porn and masturbated... and why I still hadn’t fucked anyone yet when I should’ve fucked someone by the time I was 15, apparently.

•mr creeper mccreepcreep who was absolutely hellbent in trying to confiscate/steal my phone (and my bag at one point) from me and just generally trying to leave me without my phone last year at a bar with some friends (2017) when he found out by peering over my shoulder at my phone, that i’d texted someone to pick me up from the bar to escape from him. bc remember: “HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO LEAVE ME AND TEXT PEOPLE TO LEAVE THE BAR WHEN I’VE JUST MET YOU! AND YOU’RE SEXY SLEEP WITH ME, YOU BITCH! AND BY THE WAY, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LOOK AT OR EVEN ASK FOR MY PHONE EXCEPT TO ADD ME ON FACEY! :P” (this is what i think his thought process was it’s not what he actually said out loud) the whole time i was with him though, he was completely and utterly grossing me the fuck out and scaring me to death with how desperate he was to leave me without an escape route from that bar other than either him or my friends (ie my phone) and feeling straight up my dress and trying to “convince you (me) to kiss me (him)” i’m pretty sure i was close to getting my drink spiked if i’d had one with me tbh. he just gave off that feeling.

•ok this wasn’t from a guy... but when I moved schools at 16/17 (2012), one of the girls that I met was hellbent again on trying to “get you (me) a boyfriend bc you (i) need one”, apparently. in this process, she kept trying to set me up with men in their late 20s/early 30s (and a tiny minority close to our age at the time, at 16-18 even early 20s) and practically bribed me (i.e. she gave me jewellery and CD’s to keep me quiet each time) for the use of my phone to do so. she always asked me if i was talking to those guys and when i said no she was always like “why though??? they’re so nice!” and i was like “THE BULK OF THEM ARE ADULT MEN MABEL! THEY SHOULDN’T BE FLIRTING WITH/TRYING TO DATE GIRLS WHO ARE 16/17!!! SOME OF THEM ARE ALMOST TWICE OUR AGE!!! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT???!!!″ to which she’d answer with “so?????” she even asked a few times if she could take my mobile phone home WITH HER to add more creepy men.... which i obviously said a resounding “NO????!!!!” to.  finally, at the end of all that shit, she hit on me. when I said no she asked “is that bc you went to catholic school?” and I was like “no it’s just bc I don’t swing that way right now.” (and plus your behaviour is really fucking weird and concerning).

but the moral of this post is to fucking stay safe, my ragtime gals and my dudes.

[erurilicious]

Stop playing proud on Twitter. I replies to these tweet because your friend pissing me off really hard. Make sure to tell her that and that she's the one who made me hate Eruri. If she's still playing proud after that, she will officially be the biggest bitch in this world. And you're right about one thing. All Eruri fans are nasty. You and the other bitch are the proof.

Ok, but what’s up with this new trend of people stalking twitter accounts and then dragging this to tumblr? Y’all are fucking cowards for abusing the anon function of tumblr bc you don’t have the guts to show your face and lead a discussion on the same level over on twitter. Instead you are hiding on anon bc you don’t want anyone to see that you are actually as nasty as us eruris lol. Cause lbr we all know that sending anon hate is for the weak, and coming here to use my blog to insult people is just... you guessed right, nasty.

But since you went all the way to go from twitter to my tumblr blog to deliver this spiteful message and tell me about your private problems with someone even though I’ve never wanted to be bothered with that, I’m going to humor you.

I guess the default answer to your message would be “not all shippers :(((” bc I see people bringing this argument to the table all the time when someone complains about a group of shippers as a whole. But instead I’m giving you a nice list of reasons why I’m proud to ship eruri ;)

I am proud to ship eruri because

- I’ve met so many lovely people in the past 4 years and some became very dear friends and all thanks to eruri- it made me a better artist bc I finally learned how to draw men and dicks- the manga kept giving us so many great interactions between Erwin and Levi and we were allowed to witness their deep trust and respect for each other directly on the pages, so we don’t need any ship baiting from the promo art team (even though the little we get is appreciated and we gladly fall for it too)- the ship is so versatile and wholesome- I’ve never seen a fandom that is so talented and whips out high quality content all the time- the fandom keeps giving and is a great source of inspiration- the shippers are very suporting of each other most of the time- (most of) the shippers know how to stay in their own lane- the shippers are all nasty, y’all write and draw such high quality porn

I’m tagging @tsukareta-levi @absolute-eruri-trash @zedsdead1001 @erwinsalive and @ackbang. Tell me why you are proud to ship eruri

[bangtan-spells]

Namjoon Scenario: The Subject Of Your Dreams.

Request: Can i request and angst/fluff scenario of namjoon as a school teacher and the reader a high school student. They like each other but namjoon doesn't want to get the both of them in trouble bc of teacher/student relationship.  But the reader is willing to wait until she graduates and goes to collage if he is willing to wait for her. U can deicde on thec ending. Thanks so much!! ^^

Genre: Fluff / Drama

For the first time in some years, Namjoon doubted of his judgment. He was standing by the entrance of the classroom where he was going to start his first lesson at that high school and doubting about his every decision two saturdays ago. He was rendered speechless while looking at you coming down the hallway, looking pretty with your tight jeans and loose blouse, your delicate backpack and silky hair down free, the same hair he’d fisted and played with while making out with you at the back of the club he’d gone with his friends to celebrate his new job. You stared at him with big eyes, stopping your walking for a moment and he felt himself sweating cold while putting one and one together.

Both of you recognized each other, both of you acknowledged the things you’d done together and Namjoon was suddenly struck by the fact of him making out and not in the most innocent way with a student, that looking at you there he still found you attractive just the same and it scared him.

You grew pale and then tried to dissimulate the surprise by walking quickly past him and taking a seat inside. Namjoon took a deep breath and entered the classroom when the bell rang, trying to look composed and not like he was just about to give a lecture about philosophy to the same girl he’d given his number to in the hopes of dating her for good.

You’d hoped to see Namjoon again, you’d saved his number on your phone like some sort of treasure and looked at it for the past weeks trying to sort out the right moment to write him, the best way to do it. He was much older than you and it made you nervous inside, you’d never been in this position before but Namjoon was just so attractive you didn’t find it in yourself to tell him your age at the club because you wanted at least an opportunity with him.

You sighed, remembering the way he’d kissed you, he seemed to like you a lot back then and the only reason why you hadn’t taken the next step was because you’d backed off scared, overwhelmed by the way he made you feel. Namjoon wasn’t any fumbling and rough teenager, he knew what he was doing, knew how to kiss you right, how to touch you to make you tremble and that confidence was attractive. But now you were seeing him again and it felt much more wrong to have kept the age issue to yourself that night because Namjoon was now your new philosophy teacher and you couldn’t meet his eyes, there was no place to hide in your seat and the deep tilt of his voice still made you feel butterflies inside. Of all the places you could meet him again and it had to be right there.

You couldn’t focus on your classes for the next week, not entirely at least, Namjoon was too distracting and you knew you had to talk, each time you found him in the hallways your heart beat faster, whenever you were in the same classroom you noticed the sly looks he took your way, you felt the tension each time your eyes met and it was driving you crazy so you decided to text him at the end of one of your lessons with him. You took your time gathering your things so the rest of your classmates left and only the two of you remained inside the classroom.

Can we talk?

Namjoon took out his phone and read the message. Then he raised his eyes to you and found you looking at him even if you’d been pretending to be busy with your books, so he knew you were the one sending it, you still kept his number; that made him feel good and then he scolded himself internally for that, it wasn’t right. He wanted to talk with you, he knew both of you needed that but he wasn’t risking talking with you in the middle of the classroom, much less taking you to his place where someone could see you getting in, so he tried to think quick about a safe neutral place, the parking lot could be a little alone but it would be weird for you two to be there together, the middle of the hallways was an absolute no and then he thought about the least thorny place at the high school, where a teacher talking alone with a student wouldn’t seem so shady or weird, where your conversation wouldn’t drag any type of attention.

He cleared his desk quickly and nodded to you. –Meet me in the library at lunch – then he left.

  Namjoon waited for you near the philosophy section, he was growing impatient but he had too many things to say and to ask, so when you finally came before him pretending to be searching for a book, he forgot about manners or greeting you and just blurted out the first question.

–How were you inside that club Y/N? you don’t even have the age for that – he couldn’t help the recriminatory tone and you dropped your face a little, biting your lower lip.

–I used a fake ID, it was just… my friends and I thought it was going to be fun– You said in a whisper, the library was almost empty. –I just…you came over to talk with me and I liked you, so I let myself go… you wouldn’t have done that if you knew my age would you? –

–Of course not! – Namjoon gritted his teeth because of how big of a lie that was, he couldn’t be totally sure because now he knew your age and in front of his eyes you were still attractive, you still caught his eye so he was angry, at himself and at you too for not telling him. –If we’d done more than just kissing then I would be in the biggest problem Y/N, shit even doing just that… it wasn’t right.You let me buy you a drink, more than just one! it wasn’t right to let me believe you were older–

–I’m sorry – you said with a weak voice, almost hurt and it made Namjoon feel like the biggest jerk for talking to you so harshly. He didn’t want to make you feel bad but he needed you to get that what you did had been wrong, no matter how much both of you had liked it, how much both of you had wanted it at the moment.

–Are you aware you shouldn’t have done that? – his tone was softer this time, kinder than before and so you met his eyes.

The night he met you Namjoon had thought that there was a sort of innocent air in your eyes, that you looked a little young to be there but he’d looked past that, thinking that maybe you had just turned legal, that if you were inside it was because you had the age for that, he’d taken your little shyness and hesitancy as nervousness and not because of inexperience.

–I know, I just…– you were playing with your hands and for a moment, your eyes fixed on his lips and Namjoon felt his breath falter. –I found you so attractive Namjoon, nothing like the stupid boys around here, you were so confident and so manly, I… I didn’t know how to hold myself back –

You lowered your eyes again, maybe thinking back to that night and Namjoon was definitely thinking about it, the feeling of your lips on his was still crystal clear.

–Watch those thing you say Y/N –

–Why? – you asked looking at him again and Namjoon sighed, carding a hand through his hair.

–Because you make me feel a certain way that I shouldn’t – His eyes fell down to your lips and he was taken aback for how much he wanted to kiss you despite everything, the desire for you was still alive and he knew you noticed it.

You closed the space separating you in a heartbeat and pecked Namjoon’s lips quickly, so fast he didn’t even have time to react, both of you stared at each other with eyes a little scared inside for this, for the latent attraction, for the way in which you liked each other Then you turned around and ran away leaving Namjoon with his lips tingling and a conflict unraveling on his inside.

  The age difference was almost always present whenever you thought of the other, but whenever you talked, it seemed to disappear. After your meeting at the library you met again a few times, it was nothing planned and sometimes you couldn’t help yourself from coming over and wishing him good morning, asking how he was doing; you knew both of you wanted more than that but for the time being, that was the only thing you could have.

You talked through the phone too and if something, it only made you like Namjoon even more, his personality, his humor, his deep thoughts and intelligence, everything about your teacher was alluring to you, but everything between you remained painfully platonic so you were surprised when Namjoon asked to meet you outside the school, you didn’t want to ho have high expectations about this, but while you walked to the park where he was waiting for you, you knew you had them. You just wished you could be with Namjoon, you had never liked another guy the way you liked him and maybe you were young to know exactly how love was like, but you were more than willing to find about it by his side.

It was already night and you supposed he chose that place because not many people went there so you weren’t risking being seen together. When you saw him, Namjoon smiled warmly at you and the butterflies were back. He looked so good with what you called his teacher clothes, his sweaters and oxfords, his ties and perfectly ironed pants, but Namjoon looked simply great in jeans and a leather jacket too.

You took a walk around together, just talking about anything and avoiding the main issue of why he called you there. Your conversation gravitated to philosophy, as it had happened before. You liked to talk with Namjoon about it and see how passionate he was for what he taught, he was talking about The Symposium by Plato and you just looked enthralled at him.

–The theory about humans being split in halves since the beginning of time seems a little crazy, but he was actually a fierce defender of that –

You laughed softly, Namjoon sometimes spoke about the philosophers he taught about as if they were old friends.

–Well maybe… maybe love is about that – you said softly, stopping your walk to meet Namjoon’s eyes. –Maybe love is about that wish of finding our other half, the half that was taken away from us and that’s why we feel so great with a certain person…–

Namjoon looked at you amazed, people mostly bored to death with the things he found the most interesting, you weren’t one of those, you always seemed to be in sync with him and he liked the way you thought. He hadn’t found anyone with whom he could connect so quick and easy as he’d done with you, if he thought he’d liked you at that club, he liked you even more now, but he gathered strength to say what he had to, he couldn’t keep going around the bush with you, he shouldn’t keep allowing this connection with you.

–Y/N, I told you to come here because I didn’t want to say this over the phone – you were looking up at him attentively and Namjoon fisted his hands to ground himself down. –We… we can’t keep doing this –

You took a step back from him and Namjoon wanted to reach for you, he cleared his throat and remembered himself to carry on.

–This is too risky, this… this thing we have going on could harm both of us Y/N and I don’t want that, I know what you’re doing and it’s… it’s hard for me you know? maybe in other circumstances we could see where this leads but…– he trailed off, carding a hand through his hair while feeling his mouth getting dry. – We can’t keep wanting this to go further–

You were way too silent in front of him and Namjoon was growing desperate wondering what was going on in your mind.

–I’m your teacher – he said, and the words weighed a ton on his tongue. –so I have to behave like it –

–Shut up, you know that’s not what you want – you snapped finally, opening and closing your mouth a few times searching for the right words while Namjoon looked at you in forced silence. –You’re the one who’s always saying life is a cumulus of opportunities to be taken and here you are, not taking the opportunity – You looked fixedly at him for a couple more seconds and then left without saying anything else.

  Namjoon knew what he’d said affected you, and he didn’t expect you to treat him the same but neither so cold. Since then you started to avoid his eyes, you ignored him as much as you were able to and never had an answer to the questions he made you in the classes, just a shrug and a vague I don’t know. For three entire weeks Namjoon repeated to himself that this was the best but he was far from believing it because this was driving him crazy deep down. He missed you and he couldn’t ignore that.

He thought you weren’t talking to him anymore until you entered the classroom where he had just finished one of his lessons with decided eyes.

–Which circumstances were you talking about? – you seemed a little agitated, like you had gone there running and he was sure you had been thinking this through for the past weeks. –Between those is perhaps the fact of me not being your student anymore? An alternative where you’re not my teacher? If it’s like that then… would you think of being with me? –

Namjoon was surprised for the way you stormed inside and he was glad he was alone right then. He smiled because he liked your spirit, he noticed you were nervous but still you were there, not letting that hold you back and he admired you as much as he liked you.

He nodded, not seeing the point of denying your question. –Without a doubt –

You seemed surprised by his answer, or perhaps by how sure he sounded about that, but you recovered quickly and nodded.

–This is my last year, you know it, so once I’m at college then that possibility would be real…– you looked at him expectantly. –Would you wait for me? I… I want to be with you Namjoon, whatever I have to wait – You were talking fast and growing increasingly redder with each word.

Namjoon found it cute, he felt tenderness towards you but that was only one of the infinite emotions you caused in him.

–I know how to wait for something that’s worth Y/N, and you are –

This was him, taking the opportunity. Everything he’d known and seen about you so far, he liked it, he liked you more than he thought himself capable of and it was unexpected but wasn’t he always talking about how the most unexpected situations brought the best experiences? He smiled at you and then you smiled back shyly and he felt so tempted to kiss that shyness away from your lips.

–This is for you – you said, handing him a large Americano and he took the chance of the little gesture to caress your hand softly without it being too obvious.

You giggled softly, happy with your new arrangement, you would wait for the right time to be with Namjoon and it wasn’t going to be that hard since you could still see him at the classroom,or  walking around the high school with his attractive aura and eye catching dimples.

–See you around then teacher – you bit your lower lip, fixing your bag over your shoulder.

–See you around Y/N –

Those words entailed a sort of promise that only the both of you were aware of so you smiled at each other in complicity between the four walls of the classroom.