cute-little-half-genie-blog

[puns-and-musicals]

My purpose in life is to make people watch Flight of The Conchords

Are you really enjoying Our Flag Means Death? Rhys Darby plays one of the main characters in FoTC, Bret and Jemaine’s band manager Murray. He’s an exasperated dad-style character who insists on role call even though it’s just them. Taika wrote and directed a couple of episodes.

Have you ever listened to Shiny from Moana and thought “god I’d love to hear more of this Bowie-esque bullshit”? Tamatoa is voiced by Jemaine Clement, one of the two main characters and musicians from FoTC

Did you watch and enjoy Legion FX? Oliver Bird is played by Jemaine as well.

The Cockatoo from Rio? Also Jemaine.

Do you vibe a little too hard with Man or a Muppet? It’s written by Bret McKenzie, the other main character and musician from FoTC.

If you remember that one side character from LoTR that people obsessed over years and years ago, Figwit? Also Bret.

Were you a Gravity Falls kid? Do you want to see Mabel Pines’ voice actor being a bit of a creepy fangirl? You’re in luck! Kristen Schaal’s here too!

Have you watched What We Do in The Shadows on FX? The Guide is also Kristen Schaal, come see her be… Too Much.

It’s on Crave, it’s absolute nonsense, and it’s a delightful time

I could probably connect anything to this show if I tried.

[dukeofonions]

The Problem With Asides

Before I get into anything I want to clarify that this is not going to be a criticism of the two Asides episodes we’ve gotten so far. This is a critique of the concept of Sanders Asides as a separate series from the original Sanders Sides. A second note I want to make is that this is, just as all my other posts are, a personal opinion. This is not meant to be an attack on anyone, just a general criticism from a confused writer and viewer of the show. 

And final disclaimer: A lot of what I’m going to say is based on information that I no longer have available. It’ll mostly be me recalling things I heard and if I at any point get something wrong please feel free to let me know. 

That being said, let’s get into this, shall we? 

(Fair warning this post is very long hence why I’ve divided it into parts so feel free to read then come back as you wish)

Part One: The Concept of Asides

Some time ago last year, I believe shortly after Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts came out, was when the idea for Sanders Asides was first announced. The basic concept of it being shorter, more lighthearted videos focusing on the Sides outside of the main storyline. This format would allow them to give us more Sides content in between the long waits for the main series since those episodes were beginning to take more time to produce. 

Of course, everyone was eager for more Sides, so the majority of people were excited. Not only that but due to the main series tackling heavier themes, the episodes were becoming more angsty with less time for the characters to just relax and goof off with each other. The idea of having episodes reminiscent of the low stakes, sillier, happier content of season one was a welcome break from the more complex episodes and would be a nice return to form for the series. 

We were also informed that these episodes would be much simpler than their main series counterparts and wouldn’t disrupt the work being done on Sanders Sides, which meant we didn’t have to worry about long gaps between the main story episodes, right? 

(Another disclaimer: I am perfectly aware of the main reason why we were not given as much content last year and am not blaming Thomas or the team for doing what was necessary to keep themselves safe and hope they continue to do so as this continues into the new year)

Jump to November 22, 2019, where we got our first official episode of Sanders Asides, roughly five months after DWIT came out. Which, for this fandom, was record time to get more content and I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly they were able to get this out. Though at the same time, I wondered why it took five months to make what was meant to be a short, simple episode. 

So imagine my surprise when I went to watch the episode and saw it was nearly 20 minutes long. Which, okay, isn’t that bad when you compare it to the lengths of the more recent Sanders Sides episodes. But at the time, I was under the impression that the Asides would be, well, much shorter. The longest I expected would be maybe 15 minutes, but you know what? It’s the first episode and it has been a while since we’ve had Sides content, so maybe they wanted to give us a little extra due to the long wait. 

I started the episode and at first, I was overjoyed when I saw the first shot of all the Sides sitting in the living room in their onesies about to have a movie night. This was exactly what I’d been hoping to see from this series! It’s pretty much a staple thing in the fandom for the Sides to have movie nights together, and now it was happening in canon! 

At the moment, I had high hopes for this series and was filled with joy. 

Then that hope and joy were immediately crushed when I realized this was yet just another Virgil-centric angst episode. In fact, this entire episode was, well, exactly like a regular Sanders Sides episode. Sure, there were some jokes here and there, but the tone of the episode was no lighter than the last Sanders Sides episode. If anything DWIT felt lighter in comparison to this one. 

Which leads me to ask, what the heck happened? 

Part Two: Literally the Same Show

At this point in time, we’ve only had two episodes of Asides. Usually, I try to hold off my judgment of a series until I’ve had at least one other episode to see if my original criticisms still stand. 

To be fair, I did think Flirting With Social Anxiety was a step in the right direction. More comedy, a lighter tone, yes. Perfect. But again, just like with Are There Healthy Distractions? This episode quickly dove right back into the angst pool, and just like ATHD it was a pretty long episode, clocking in at almost 25 minutes. 

Not only that but again, both FWSA and ATHD don’t feel any different from the episodes we’ve been getting in Sanders Sides. 

1. They’re just as angsty.

2. Roughly the same length as Sanders Sides episodes.

3. Take about just as long to produce.

4. Contain a lesson to be learned. 

Which, okay, you can have lessons in lighter shows too, but we’re already getting that in Sanders Sides and Sanders Asides was described as, well, being less plot heavy. Yet so far both episodes are still tied in with the main plot. 

ATHD deals with the aftermath of DWIT, not directly but it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing with Virgil’s reveal at the end of that episode is being addressed in the background. Which, kind of takes away the impact of that ending, but I’ll get to that later. 

Then FWSA takes place after Putting Others First and again, is dealing with things from that episode in the background. Again though, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It makes sense to see the characters dealing with things from past events.

So why is it a problem here? Because, again, Sanders Asides is meant to be a separate series, and all the subtext brought on from the episodes in Sanders Sides makes the plots in these two episodes confusing. 

For example, I was perplexed during my first watch of FWSA because I couldn’t understand why the focus of the conflict was lying. I didn’t understand why Virgil and Roman came to the conclusion that Thomas’ reason for being unable to approach Nico was because he was lying to himself, when both the title of the episode and what we were shown points more to, well, social anxiety being the problem. 

(Quick note: One could argue that this was done purposefully to have Virgil putting the blame on Janus since he doesn’t like him and wouldn’t want to admit that he was the one responsible, but this series has had a bad habit of favoring Virgil in the past so until we get more answers I’m gonna leave this on the backburner) 

It didn’t help that I had no idea when this episode was meant to take place in the timeline, and I originally thought it could take place a bit after season two since Roman and Virgil seemed to be doing better, but more on them later.

All of this bugged me until I found out that FWSA takes place after POF, and after watching the live stream that followed and getting some more context, the lying thing made a bit more sense, but the fact that I was as confused as I was just caused more frustration to build up. And I wasn’t the only one who got thrown off by the “Lying is wrong” message of FWSA so I had to ask again, why was this episode a Sanders Asides when apparently, you need information from the last Sanders Sides episode in order to understand it?

So you’re telling me, that the second episode in what is supposed to be a separate series that isn’t meant to be a part of the main plot, is now integral to the plot of the main story you’re telling in what is, as you have said, a separate show? How does that make any sense? 

Okay, one could argue that Thomas getting a love interest doesn’t really fit with the current storyline that’s going on in Sanders Sides, and that is a fair point. The problem with that is, FWSA takes place right after Putting Others First. 

You all remember what happened at the end of that episode, right?

Part Three: Intrusive Plots

At this point we’ve all become rather accustomed to the long waits in between videos, it’s nothing new to us, and for the most part they haven’t done anything to harm the current plot of Sanders Sides. Sure, the length of time between videos can cause people to lose interest, but for the most part the tone of the last three episodes of Sanders Sides hasn’t differed much and the story flow is still going along smoothly. 

Let’s start with Selfishness vs Selflessness, which is the episode that sets up the big climax for season two. It’s still got its jokes and funny moments, but the overall tone is far more serious than previous episodes have been. This carries on into DWIT where Thomas has been so stressed out lately that he’s begun to have trouble with his intrusive thoughts. 

Virgil even gives a pretty good summary of Thomas’ current mental state: “He recently realized he’s a bigger liar than he thought he was, he doesn’t understand himself, he’s committed to skipping a big callback, and he’s sleep-deprived. So yeah, he feels like a piece of dirt who has no control over his life.”

And all that was a direct result of the ending of SVS, despite DWIT not being the direct follow up to that episode the two are still intertwined. Remember that for later.

DWIT ends with the long awaited reveal of Virgil having been a “Dark Side.” Even though the majority of the fandom had figured it out by as early as Can Lying Be Good? That didn’t take away from the emotional gut punch that this scene was and it’s one of my favorite moments from the series. I may have to make a whole post breaking that scene down but what matters is that this scene was a turning point for Virgil’s character.

We’ve seen him trying to hide the truth from Thomas ever since Janus and Remus started popping up, and there were close calls with both of them nearly revealing it themselves and continuously dropping hints to Thomas. Only for Virgil to admit it to Thomas himself, and leave before Thomas can even say a word. 

We don’t know for sure how Thomas is feeling in this moment, but it’s clear he’s been shaken by this. He doesn’t really have a lot of time to process it before he remembers to acknowledge the audience and close out the video. 

This comes up again once we finally get to the monster of an episode that is POF, the follow up to SVS that everyone had been waiting over a year for. Right away we see that Patton and Roman will be at the forefront of this discussion with Logan popping up every now and then, but who doesn’t show up in this episode despite having played a role in SVS? 

Virgil. 

He’s nowhere to be seen and his absence is definitely felt. Why wouldn’t he be part of this discussion? He was there in SVS and had a lot to say on the matter, he was even part of the decision to choose the wedding over the callback! So why wasn’t he there? 

Well, just look at the ending of DWIT and there’s your answer. Of course he isn’t about to show his face after that. Not when Thomas is already under so much stress already and he isn’t sure how Thomas will react to seeing him-

*insert random voice whispering off to the side*

 Wait, Virgil has seen Thomas since DWIT? When? 

*whispers continue*

Oh, right, they interacted in Sanders Asides. How did that go again? 

*whispers explain*

Huh? Thomas said he’s cool with Virgil despite revealing that he’s been hiding something from him this whole time? That “something” being the fact that Virgil was once considered part of the others that were currently making Thomas’ life miserable?

*whispers confirm*

Really? They’re both okay with each other now? Well, good for them. 

So wait, then why didn’t Virgil show up in POF? He was there during the first discussion and honestly he’d have more of a reason to show up than Logan who wasn’t really present at all in SVS. 

*whispers explain* 

He just wasn’t need there? Hm, alright. Guess that makes sense… 

Well okay, Virgil and Thomas are on good terms once POF rolls around, Virgil isn’t present during the conversation because he isn’t needed and I suppose his presence would make things worse. Especially once Janus revealed himself, he wouldn’t allow him to get a word in. Even though Janus could probably silence him but I digress. 

Fast forward towards the ending of POF, remember when I said to remember how SVS and DWIT were connected? Well DWIT is just as important to POF, acting as a bit of bridge between to the two episodes. 

Janus brings up Remus (both directly and indirectly) twice in this episode.

First here:

 Notice how Roman’s breakdown is already being foreshadowed here, the camera focusing on him while “Logan” says this isn’t an accident. 

The second time Remus is brought up is at the very end after Janus has revealed his name:

“Oh, Roman thank God you don’t have a mustache. Otherwise between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is.” 

(No I am not posting screenshots of this scene I already got emotional over the last one)

As we saw at the end of DWIT, Roman does not have a good relationship with is brother. So much so that when Thomas refers to Remus as such, Roman creates a different analogy that compares Remus to a mirror, reflecting everything Roman doesn’t want to be. 

Roman desperately wants to distance himself from Remus, not wanting anything to do with him. We’ve only gotten a glimpse of just how far this loathing goes, and part of that comes from Roman finally breaking down after being told by Janus that if it wasn’t for a mustache there’d be no difference between him and Remus.

This shook Roman more than anything else in the show has so far, moreso than him being the one to decide that Thomas should give up the callback. He was the one that pushed Thomas to make that decision, believing it was the noble thing to do, only for it to only make Thomas feel worse and then be told by Janus that his “noble sacrifice” was all for nothing. 

Janus, the one who had been supporting Roman throughout SVS, buttering him up and encouraging him to go after his dream, told him that his sacrifice was worthless. Then to top it all off Janus admits what he did and brushes it off as a joke. He doesn’t apologize to Roman, leaving him in the dust, then when Roman responds by laughing at his name he’s shot down even lower. 

And when he looks to Thomas and Patton for help, for answers, anything.

They stay silent.

Patton tries to reassure him, telling Roman that they love him, but he doesn’t believe it. He sinks out, and that’s the last we see of him.

Selfishness vs Selflessness, Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, and Putting Others First are three of the biggest (and dare I say most important) episodes in the series. The three almost act like a trilogy, with POF leading to something bigger, the season finale. Which will be culmination of all three of these episodes. 

We’ll be seeing Virgil’s reaction to Janus having been accepted by Patton and facing his own past as a “Dark Side.” Then we’ll find out what has become of Roman after he disappeared at the end of POF, and how it now affects his relationship with Thomas.

*whispers return and begin to whisper*

I’m sorry what?

*whispers repeat*

Virgil already knows about Janus getting somewhat accepted? Well okay I guess he would, wish we could have seen his reaction to that but oh well, no big deal. At least we got the Roman and Thomas confrontation to look forward to. 

*whispers whisper*

Roman has already interacted with Thomas since POF? When?!

*whisper* 

In FWSA? Oh yeah, how did that go again? It was super awkward right? Since Roman doesn’t really trust that Thomas loves or values him?

*whisperly whisper*

They get along just fine as if nothing happened? 

*whispersty*

It looks like he might still be upset with him since he’s being a bit passive aggressive? 

*whisper* 

Can’t really tell because the three are too busy trying to talk to a cute guy at the mall? 

Okay, I guess that all makes sense… 

Looks like Roman and Virgil still aren’t on the best terms with Thomas but are able to push that aside to help him talk to this handsome stranger, and hey, it worked! Thomas now has a boyfriend! Just look at Roman and Virgil at the end, they’re both so happy with Thomas! 

Looks like now they can focus on this new chapter in their life and leave the events of POF behind them. I mean, now that Roman and Virgil seem pretty cool with Thomas it would just feel weird to suddenly have them angry with him again, wouldn’t it?

Part Four: The Problem

Sanders Asides was originally described as being a series separate from the main storyline of Sanders Sides. Promising us shorter, less complicated episodes to give us a little something in between the longer, heavier episodes in Sanders Sides. This was a great idea that ended up falling apart the moment it began. 

When I was going through SVS, DWIT, and POF I mentioned that the three of them felt like a trilogy. All three of them link together to tell one bigger story, and on their own they get the job done. They set up the season finale perfectly to the point where you have an idea of what to expect and what to look forward to. 

The main things being the aftermath of Virgil’s reveal and Roman’s breakdown, which would most likely cultivate in them teaming up against Janus. This would also involve Virgil coming to terms with his past and Roman having to face Remus. 

Of course, none of this has been officially confirmed, but given everything we’ve seen up to this point it just makes sense. 

The story for season two is nearly complete, all we’re missing is the conclusion. 

Then Sanders Asides showed up and threw everything off course. What was supposed to be its own thing crept into a story that was already (for all we knew) set up and being put into place. 

We were told that the Asides wouldn’t do anything to disrupt the flow of Sanders Sides, yet it’s been confirmed that there will be one or two more episodes of Asides before we get the season finale. 

Why? Why are these episodes necessary when everything was set to move forward after POF? If these episodes are that important that they absolutely have to be made before the finale then why are they simply not part of the main series? 

You could say “Well they’re not directly tied to the main plot, that’s why.” But need I remind you that Asides as a concept was just intriduced after DWIT came out? These episodes were written specifcally for Asides, which unless I’m wrong means that they were just added into the main story with no planning whatsoever. 

FWSA honestly feels like it should have been the start of season three, something that should have waited to be introduced after season two wrapped up because it’s just too much. 

We already have so much to unpack from SVS, DWIT, and POF now we also have a new love interest on top of that? 

Virgil and Thomas’ resolution doesn’t even feel all that special because it wasn’t talked about directly between them. Thomas was indirectly letting Virgil know they were still okay, so what does that leave for us? All that build up about Virgil being a “Dark Side” only for it to be brushed over like it was nothing, and this happened in an Asides episode, not even in the main series. 

It also makes Virgil’s absence in POF confusing when they had already set up the perfect reason for him to be absent in DWIT, but according to the first episode of ATHD Virgil and Thomas are okay with each other. Sure, Virgil being there might have made things worse but at that point everyone was making things worse. 

We no longer have a confrontation between Thomas and Roman to look forward to because in FWSA we see them interacting as normal. Even the passive agressiveness isn’t anything new to Roman and really, it all just sounds super petty which he had been known to behave like that even when nothing is seriously wrong. Not only that Roman is overjoyed at the end, having finally gotten something he desperately wanted, the happy ending he deserved.

All that’s left for him is to fave his feelings towards Remus, but what would even happen there?

The problem with Asides isn’t the quality of the episodes, FWSA is actually one of my favorite episodes. The problem with Asides is that the team is taking what should have been something small and turning it into a far too elaborate for what its original purpose was: To give us more lighthearted content to enjoy in between the waits for the heavier episodes.

Instead it just feels like they’re adding onto something that really didn’t need adding on to, creating more work for themselves when it just isn’t necessary, and that worries me.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s hard for me to make all these judgments when no one has any idea what the finale is going to be like. And usually, the team is able to excede my expectations and create something amazing. 

But with all these new Asides episodes that feel like they’re just being crammed in at the last second, it makes me wonder how the rest of the series will go if they continue down this road. 

Season two started September 1st, 2017, it is now January 3rd, 2021. Throughout season two the production of episodes became more elaborate, and there have been complications that arose from trying to make these videos as a result that sent production screeching to a halt. And on top of that, these Sanders Asides have been added to create even more work for Thomas and the team.

I don’t understand why they’d do this to themselves when it’s already become more difficult than ever to make videos in general, not just Sanders Sides. 

We were offered something simple that would have satisfied everyone during the difficult times, only to be given something that honestly, wasn’t even needed. I do appreciate Thomas trying to get us more content, but I don’t think he or the team realizes just how content we’d all be with just a five minute video of the characters we love just doing something as simple as hanging out and having fun, especially with how dark things have become all around us. 

We don’t always have to be watching these characters struggle, sometimes we just need to see them be genuinely happy.

(Thanks to everyone who took time to read this monster of a post, I did not mean for it to get this long but it’s been dwelling on my mind for a while and I wanted to make sure I got out everything I wanted to say. Again, this is all just a personal opinions and you are not obligated to agree with me. If you have an objecting opinion I would not mind hearing it but please keep any discussions civil.)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Doug’s Pretty Great

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nine years since the first episode of S1 was released. I can still remember be a wee little lass first discovering it on youtube and becoming obsessed. At the time, I had no where to play it myself, so I watched as many playthroughs as I could until my family got an xbox. 

While the first episode in this series has a lot of memorable moments, the one that always stands out in people’s memories is the moment where you’re trying to escape the drugstore as walkers pound away at the door and windows, and you realize that both Carley and Doug need your help or they’re going to die. 

But... you can only save one, and whoever you don’t help, they end up being eaten alive by walkers and you get to feel bad about it for the rest of the episode. 

I bring this up because it’s interesting to look back nine years ago and see that... well, not a lot of people saved Doug. Which is crazy, because now the stats are pretty 50/50 with Doug even having a bit of an edge over Carley. That definitely wasn’t the case back then because the stats were more along the line of 20/80.

Why? Well, the writer’s didn’t exactly do the best job of showing how great Doug is in ep1, especially compared to Carley who has more interactions with Lee and more screen time.... which is even funnier because they did actually think they did a good job and were surprised by the results after the episode’s release.

Even back then they had a habit of making imbalanced routes then denying the imbalance... something they never grew out of. 

I guess they were a little butthurt about it since Doug is a favorite among the team given that he’s actually based on a real person, Doug Tabacco, an IT guy they worked with. This got to the point where Telltale never missed an opportunity to tell everyone to #SaveDoug over Carley.

I also love that they use the Stranger to guilt trip everyone who saved Carley by having him be like, “Doug was in a worse position! >:( You only saved Carley because she was a pretty girl!!” just.... real subtle, guys haha

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, I choose to save Carley over Doug for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Doug and enjoy having him around in the off chance I do save him. So I thought it’d be fun to talk about Doug as a character and why he was pretty great as a little tribute, y’know? 

5. Doug’s a pretty funny dude

Now, I wouldn’t exactly call twdg a comedy, y’know? It gets dark, then manages to get even darker at times, but if the game was nothing but doom and gloom, it’d get boring and become unenjoyable. 

While other characters do get a laugh out of me from time to time, I enjoy the humor that Doug brings to the group, even if it’s not intentional and just the way he is. 

Even from the beginning, Doug had me chuckling with the fact that this nerdy dude didn’t want to bring profanity to Lee’s ears when talking about Larry, so he’s just like “ He's kind of a dick... pardon my french,” like Doug.... it’s okay, you can call him an asshole, no one will judge hahaha.

Then there’s the biscuit scene that I think we all know and love. Helps break the tension of meeting these weirdo’s who own a dairy and are totally not suspicious or anything. 

But it’s not even just that Doug is funny, he’s also a character that gets you to crack a smile when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, or when he’s proud of the alarm he rigged up, or when he’s being adorably awkward. 

One of my favorites is in ep3 when Lee goes to ask Doug if he has any chalk, and he goes into this spiel about charcoal-- “You know, a piece of charcoal is a suitable alternative, depending on your marking surface. Since we're on the subject, did you know that while chalk is traditionally known to be calcium carbonate, what's often used in classrooms is actually made of gypsum, thanks to favorable domestic mining conditions?”

And Lee’s response is just-- “Doug, I did not know that.”

“Happy to be of service.”

It’s just really funny... and it makes you feel better after all the implications about Doug’s mental health in the episode... like you gave him a moment to flex his knowledge and get excited about it. 

But yeah, what can I say? Doug makes me laugh and he brings a bit of light to the groups constant shitshow. 

4. Doug saved the group’s ass at the St John farm

And he did so with a laser pointer. 

I always hate it when Doug/Carley leave the group at the St Johns and remain absent for most of the episode, though I chalk that up to the writers trying to make the different routes easier on themselves, y’know? 

But, at least they come back to save the day. 

In Doug’s case, he’s not comfortable with guns like Carley is, so he’s gotta get creative when it comes to getting Lee’s attention and stopping Andy from hurting Duck and Lee. 

That’s where his fancy little laser pointer comes in. 

We first see him with it during the walk to the farm, but then see it in action after Lee escapes the barn and is nearly blinded by the light. Doug claims he was doing morse code before Lee tells him and Ben that these assholes cut off Mark’s legs and tried to feed them to the group. 

Now, here’s the thing... If Doug and Ben had done what they were told and stayed at the motor inn over night, things probably wouldn’t have turned out so good for the group. Doug is the one who shines the laser pointer in Andy’s eyes when he’s got ahold of Duck, giving Lee the advantage of attack. Without that, if Lee tried anything, he would’ve ended up like dingdong Kenny with a bullet in his side. 

Also there’s just a lot of bravery from Doug, y’know? Like as soon as he finds Lee and knows the situation, the first thing he asks is what can they do to help, and he sticks around to do what he can.... even if it is just to point a laser in someone’s eye. 

No one gives Doug enough credit for savin’ the day, y’know? And if you have any doubt, even Lee says, “I never thought a laser pointer would be the thing that saved our lives.”

3. Doug’s friendship with Lee

Speaking of Lee, his friendship with Doug is underrated. The two have chemistry and work off each other well in the scene’s they’re in. While it’s not as strong as Carley’s in ep1, saving Doug and having around in ep2 & ep3 lets you see it at it’s best, y’know? 

After Lee saves his life at the drugstore, Doug is shown to mourn Carley and asks Lee why he would pick him, lamenting that he wished he had picked her over him and you can tell that Doug feels that he owes Lee a lot for saving him. Hell, he even says as much when Lee tries to give him food in ep2-- “Why don't you keep my share today. I know I said it didn't matter why you saved me and not Carley, but... I owe you a lot more than half a day's rations."

Also, I love this one line from Kenny when you’re on bad terms with him and they’re talking about going separate ways where he’s basically like “We all know Doug’s gonna stay with you because you saved him that ONE time >:(” and on top of it being such a bitchy Kenny line, it also shows that every can see that Doug is a loyal friend to Lee and would want to stick with him where ever he decides to go. 

One thing that I think people tend to overlook, though, is how concerned Lee is with Doug’s mental health in ep3. There are implications that Doug might be suffering with depression due to the situation of the walkers, bandits harrassing and threatening them, and believing that he isn’t useful to the group, stating that he feel pretty worthless. Lee asks Clementine if he seems sad, and hell, he even talks to Lilly about it.

In fact, speaking of Clementine, Doug is real sweet with her, too. Of course, he gives her those batteries for her walkie, but he also asks about how she’s doing as they’re leaving the dairy. Hell, 8 years later, Clementine still remembers him by name and how sweet he was when fucking dingdong Lilly can’t remember his damn name. That says a lot. 

Y’all know how important Clementine is to Lee, so he wouldn’t have grown as close to Doug if he wasn’t a genuinely good person who treated Clementine with kindess. 

I dunno, there’s a lot of trust and care between the two and it’s a relationship that I truly love. I just wish we could’ve seen a bit more of it but y’know...#2 happened. 

2. Doug saved Ben’s life

Yeah, I think we all saw this coming...

Look, doesn’t matter what you think about Ben, okay? Not what we’re talkin’ about. We’re talkin’ about Doug saving Ben’s life, which unfortunately meant ending his own.

Still haven’t forgiven Lilly for this one. Though I’ve always found the difference between Doug and Carley’s death’s interesting. With Carley, Lilly intentionally kills her after Carley tells her off. But with Doug, Lilly was aiming for Ben and even when Doug pulled him out of the way, she still fired the gun... even though she didn’t have a clear shot and ended up hitting Doug. 

Then she tries to play it off like it was an accident which, yeah I guess it was but that doesn’t change that you were intending to murder this 6ft tall child. 

It’s just... I dunno, man, it’s sad. I always feel more sorrow for Doug’s death, but more anger for Carley’s? Even though both make me angry, it’s just different characters, different things that led to their deaths, different feelings. This is the first real “Fuck you, Lilly” moment for me and she can spend the next 8 years wandering around for all I can. 

Doug didn’t deserve this shit. 

But, the reason I put this at #2 because it really says a lot about Doug as a character. The second he saw Lilly aim that gun, he yanked Ben out of the way. He could’ve gone into shock, he could’ve just yelled “no!”, or he could’ve gone at Lilly instead.... but no, his first instinct was to grab Ben and move himself in front and it really fucking sucks that that’s what killed him. 

And y’know this isn’t the first time Doug has put himself in danger to save someone. I already talked about him saving everyone at the dairy, but can we not forget how he and Carley met? She was gonna get eaten by walkers then our big hero Doug came in and saved her?? Didn’t know her or anything, just saw her and her crew getting attacked and did what he could to save any survivors?? 

Like... no one talks about that because it’s so played off and never brought up again and I need everyone to remember this, okay? 

Doug selflessly putting himself in danger to help those around him? Fantastic. Beautiful. Love that.

1. Look, Doug himself is just #1. His personality, intelligence, everything.

Wow, Doug’s personality being the #1 reason he’s so great? Who woulda thought?

Well, ME woulda thought because obviously.

Listen... in case you haven’t gather this from the previous four entries, Doug is an intelligent, awkward, caring, selfless, funny, and brave man, okay? He’s likable, he tries his damnedest to pull his weight for the group, he shows actual loyalty and kindness unlike some people, and when he tends to avoid the constant Lilly and Kenny conflicts, he does his best to step in when things take a serious turn, hence the Ben situation. 

No to mention the dude is smart. 

I mean, he really took a random remote and was like, “Oh it’s universal, let me just program it to work on ALL the random TV’s across the street as a way to distract these walkers!” like dude.... you just know how to do that, huh? 

Or his fun little bell trap that alerts the groups of strangers and walkers? Oh, and remember when he fixed the RV by hitting it with a fucking hammer and was like “It works now, drive!” 

And have I mentioned that he bested Andy St John with a goddamn laser pointer?? 

Oh, also wanna add that I really like his voice acting, as well. He’s voiced by Sam Joan, who does a good job at selling Doug’s soft-spoken but intelligent nature, and knows how to pull off “dorky” when needed... and I mean that in a good way, when he’s talking about charcoal Doug is being a dork and I love him.

I mean... what else is there to say?

All that’s left to do is pull a Telltale and--

#SaveDoug

---

Honorable Mentions

-Doug is a pie guy, going off of that time he named all the different kinds of pie he could thing of and I feel that.  -He’s a very fashionable person. I want that weird polar bear deer thing shirt he wears in ep1.  -also, you can’t go wrong with socks and sandals, my dude.  -He had a crush on Carley and honestly, I feel that, too. 

---

There it is, there’s my whole thing about Doug. What are your thoughts? When it comes to that choice in ep1 of s1, do you save Doug or do you save Carley? Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F

[sunsetinmyvein]

You Pick a Fight - P2

Eyyyyy it’s prompt time. I have since forgotten what prompt’s @imagine-that-100​ gave me from the prompt list for this part two, but hopefully you enjoy it anyway. :P

And I was right, because it wasn’t over. The pool incident was just the start of much more bickering and fighting over nothing that was set to come during the months between Matty and I. We hadn’t known each other all that well prior to that day, but it definitely set the bar for future interactions. Being argumentative and stubborn was just a habit neither of us could break, much to all of our mutual friend’s annoyance. It might’ve been on the verge of immature, since we were both pushing thirty, but neither of us cared. And we never really meant it. Grudges about stolen floaties were not held for long. It was a rare occasion that we genuinely made up and said sorry, but typically by the end of the day we had either forgotten about it or played some prank on the other to feel avenged about our wrong doing. Over the course of many months of arguing and pranking, Matty and I inevitably became closer. Realistically, Matty was probably one of my best friends by this point in my life. We saw each other at least a couple of times a week for various reasons and I enjoyed his company (mostly). But that wasn’t going to stop me from trying to constantly one-up him and make sure I destroy him any time he challenges me to anything. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, right? You gotta know your opponent’s weaknesses to best exploit them.

 However, tonight was our regularly scheduled movie night. So, more than likely no arguing would be occurring tonight. The movie had already been picked by democratic vote by the group, which meant there would be no debates about that. Everyone was bringing their own snacks, nothing to fight over. And we rotated who hosted, so no arguments there either. This week it was Matty’s turn. Last week when it had been at my flat, we had picked a comedy movie to watch and ended up receiving a noise complaint from my neighbour about us being “too rambunctious”. I was hoping that we wouldn’t have the same issue to deal with this week given Matty’s much thicker walls. I was cutting up a tray of brownies that I was graciously bringing to share - one of which may or may not have been spiked with cayenne pepper just to spite Matty for last week when he mixed my bag of skittles with m+m’s - while I replayed the events of last week. The details of the movie were actually a bit of a blur, because after the few drinks that I had downed after a rough day at work, I recalled falling asleep. When I woke up, I found myself snoring on Matty’s shoulder. God, that was utterly embarrassing. Other than my snoring, to wake up cosying up to Matty? I’d rather be caught dead. But I must have been too distracted by these memories, because as I was cutting, I slipped and managed to slice open my thumb with my new knife.

  I felt the cut the instant it happened, bracing myself for what I might see before I looked down. Sure as shit, all I saw was a lot of red. The first thought to run through my head was that my brownie plan was ruined. I couldn’t serve brownies that had been doused in blood. The second was that I absolutely needed to seal this wound as soon as possible. I raced to the bathroom, grabbing a roll of gauze and wrapping it around my thumb as tightly as I could. Do I call an ambulance? No, this wasn’t an ambulance sort of emergency. Emergency, though. I should go to the emergency room. Now. But I had to let the guys know I wasn’t coming. I could see the gauze starting to turn red as I searched my phone for Matty’s contact. Fuck, I felt so bad for bailing on this movie night given it was our regular thing, but this was really not good. Really, really not good. The phone rang twice before he picked up.

  “Hey-”

“Look, I need to go to emergency.” I interrupted in a garbled rush.

“What?” He shouted down the line.

“I need to go to hospital, so I’m not gonna make it tonight.” I explained, slightly slower.

“What did you do?” He asked in an incredulous tone.

“I sliced my thumb open cutting brownies.” I just heard him laughing. “It’s not funny, Matty. I need stitches.” I frowned as I started to grab my essentials. What if they wanted to keep me in overnight? Oh my god, I was absolutely not prepared for something like this. I should have a go bag. Is that a thing normal people did? Have a go bag in case they accidentally injure themselves? Maybe smart people did.

“Do you need me to drive you?” He offered as I was contemplating what exactly I would put in a go bag.

“What? Uh, no. I’m okay. I think.” I rattled off.

“I’ll meet you there.” I heard him say. He what? Why would he want to come to the hospital?

“Wait. No, you don’t-” But he’d already hung up.

  Before I left the house, I slapped another few layers of bandage over the gauze on my thumb to try and put some pressure on this cut that was apparently bleeding like a tap by the rate it was turning things red. Driving to the hospital with a thumb as fat as mine was with all the bandages wrapped around it was not easy to say the least, but I managed to get there in one piece. Once I had gotten there, paid for my parking, and then managed to check myself into the ER, I was able to take a seat and decompress slightly. But, the peace and quiet didn’t last long, because not even five minutes after I sat down a familiar face entered through the sliding glass doors.

“Good job.” Matty said as he approached, with a slow clap for emphasis.

“Don’t patronise me.” I scoffed.

“Show me.” He said as he took a seat in the uncomfortable plastic chair next to my own.

“It’s okay-”

“Just show me what you did.” He dismissed.

“I mean, I can’t really take this stuff off-” I gestured to my half blood-soaked bandages, “-or it’ll bleed worse.”

He let out a low whistle as he raked a hand through his curls. “Bloody hell.” He muttered under his breath, before glancing up at me. “Pardon the pun.” He added with a smirk.

“Shut up. It’s really not as bad as it looks.” I lied. I was trying to play it down, to pretend like I hadn’t briefly seen how deep that knife went, but I knew that this was definitely very vital that I see a doctor very fucking soon.

He met my gaze, clearly seeing the stress I was trying to hide. “You’re not very convincing.” He chuckled.

  Despite my protests about him wanting to wait with me, Matty continued to ramble on about what he had done earlier in the day while we sat in the crowded waiting room. He also told me not to worry about cancelling on the movie night, and thanked me for trying to make brownies. If only he had known what his brownie was going to taste like. But at least he was distracting me from the weird sensation in my thumb. After about half an hour, I was called through to be seen by the nurse - which realistically just meant that I sat and waited in another room for a further ten minutes until I was finally seen by someone. When she walked in, she introduced herself and asked for a run down of the situation as she started gathering some supplies. After I had explained what I had done, she started moving towards my giant wad of bloody fabric.

“I’m gonna look away.” I warned the nurse, she just nodded in response. I felt her unravelling the bandages on my thumb, trying really hard to busy myself by studying the vision tester chart on the wall. She let out a quiet hum as she analysed the situation.

“All right. I am going to put some glue on this now to hold it, but we are going to need to anaesthetise you to properly sort this out. Is that okay?” She asked in a calm tone. They were going to knock me out? It was bad enough to need to be knocked out for?? Holy shit.

“Um, yep.” I nodded. “I suppose it’ll have to be.” I added with a nervous laugh. “When will that be?”

“As soon as they can get you in. Likely in the next few hours.” She answered.

  When I came back out of the nurse’s station, I sat back down and told Matty what they had said.

“They need to sedate you?” He asked in shock.

“I’ve apparently done quite a number on myself.” I could feel the stress building up as the realisation set in. Oh my god. I had cut off my thumb. I had cut off my thumb and now they needed to reattach it. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.

“Hey, calm down.” He reassured, placing his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be all right.”

“But what if it’s too late? What if I cut too far? What if-”

Thankfully, Matty interrupted my downward spiral of anxiety. “They would’ve told you if that were the case. They’re going to operate, so it must be fine.” He moved to take my good hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing mind as I nodded in agreement. At least one of us was the voice of reason right now. “When are you going in?” He questioned, seeming genuinely sympathetic.

“They said as soon as possible. I just have to wait here until a theatre frees up.” I replied. He just nodded thoughtfully. “You should go back to the movie night.” I said, eventually feeling guilty that he’d already been sat waiting here for an hour.

“No.” He shook his head as he rifled through his pocket. “You want some gum?” He asked, holding a packet out in my direction.

I looked down at them apprehensively. “They’re not some ridiculous flavour, are they?”

He laughed loudly. “No, I threw the wasabi ones out.”

  It was another hour before I was finally called through to get ready for theatre. Now I was genuinely feeling pretty awful that Matty had been here this whole time. We had well and truly pushed past dinner time, he’d missed the movie, our friends were all sat at his place without him. He can’t have been having a good time stuck here with me.

“Okay, I gotta go in.” I said as I stood up.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He smiled up at me from his seat.

“Just go home, I’ll be fine.” I said as I gestured to the door.

“No.” He grinned.

“Go.”

“No.” His dark brown eyes bore into mine, clearly challenging me to push him further on the subject.

“I hate you, so much.” I grumbled as I heard the nurse call my name again.

“I love you, too.” He said, blowing a kiss for emphasis as I walked off.

  The doctors all reassured me that the operation was going to be quick and easy. Knock me out, stitch me up, wake me up fifteen minutes later. Easy peasy. I had never had any issues with operations, being knocked out was easy. It was the stuff you had to be awake for that was hard. True to their word, when I saw the clock when I started coming to, it had been no more than half an hour than when I last checked the time. But my god I felt groggy. My brain felt like it had been replaced with a bunch of cotton balls and my eyelids might as well have been made of lead. I glanced down at my thumb, seeing a much smaller pile of bandages on there, that were now thankfully not soaked in blood. That was nice. I then caught sight of the man sat next to my bed.

“Hey, you’re up.” Matty said quietly as he stepped over. As soon as he leaned over the bed frame, the fluorescent lights above him just illuminated his dark, curly hair. Holy shit. It looked borderline angelic. “How’re you feeling?”

“Your hair…” I mumbled as I reached out my good hand to touch it.

He seemed surprised by my actions at first, before letting my run a hand through it. “What about it?” He asked with a quiet laugh.

“It’s really soft.” I answered, genuinely quite surprised by how nice it felt. “Has it always been that soft?” I felt like I had been missing out. I could’ve been touching this hair for nearly a year now and instead I had been swapping his shampoo for ranch dressing and perfume.

  Matty seemed keen to indulge my anaesthesia haze, letting me bother him with all of my weird questions about his hair. Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy. I did a lot of mean shit to him and here he was, sat with me in emergency all evening instead of hanging out with his friends. After the pranks I’d pulled, I likely didn’t deserve a friend like him. But he’d pulled them on me too. We were a pretty good pair, I suppose. And I had no idea if it was this lighting or what, but dare I say, Matty was looking pretty attractive today. Had I really just been so focused on butting heads with him that I never noticed these things before?

“Are you sure you really look this good? I feel like I must still be dreaming.” I said, pretending to shield my eyes.

He frowned, before the realisation dawned on him and his eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Are you flirting with me?”

“Maybe.” I shrugged.

“Don’t use cheesy pickup lines on me.” He chuckled.

“How else am I meant to pick you up?” I scoffed as I rolled my eyes.

“Are you trying to?” He asked as a smile slowly made its way onto his face.

“Maaaaybe.” I said in an attempt to be non-committal, but then my curiosity got the better of me. “Is it working?”

“I’m gonna remind you of this when you’re properly out of the anaesthetic.” He just looked amused. Not the reaction I had hoped for. But I was too tired to keep trying to come up with clever lines.

“Okay.” I muttered, nodding softly. “Gon’ sleep now, though.” I added.

“Rest up.” He agreed. “You’re gonna need all the energy you can get to deal with me giving you shit for this tomorrow.”  

Part one

Part three

[quicksilversquared]

Just Friends

Adrien and Marinette are just friends. Friends and classmates, and sometimes it seems like that's all they'll ever be. But when Adrien mentions his love for the friends-to-lovers trope, Marinette decides to try a new approach.

No more attempts to ask Adrien out. Instead, she'll focus on being the best friend she can be and hope that that's enough to catch Adrien's attention.

links in the reblog

Marinette had grown up with stories of different relationships and their oh-so-romantic starts. Her parents met in university, during one of their baking courses. Her father had asked her mom out after a couple classes because he had already been interested in her- it was pretty much love at first sight- and, well, it went from there. They had been classmates, then dating, then engaged and married and boom, she came along.

It was adorable and romantic and a fantastic example of what Marinette wanted to happen to her, too.

Her Cheng grandparents had a very similar story. They had met at a mutual friend's party, her grandpa asked the friend if her grandma was seeing anyone, and when the answer was no, he tagged along with the friend the next time that they were seeing her grandma and asked her out. She said yes, and they were still together.

The Dupain grandparents, well- like the others, they had met and almost immediately started dating. Even though they weren't still together, it had sounded cute at the time.

In short, all of Marinette's relationship examples hadn't included a purely friendship stage. Sure, they had been friends while dating (and Marinette's parents had referred to each other their best friend more than once), but that came after the dating started. She had heard about friends-to-lovers before, but she had never been particularly convinced by that trope. It just didn't seem realistic. Once people were friends- well, she had always heard older kids referring to their good friends as 'like a brother or sister', and, well, once somebody saw a friend as a sibling, then there wouldn't be any chance for romance there, right? And if people were really good friends, they wouldn't want to risk messing things up by confessing feelings.

And yet the movies made it look so easy, the protagonists moving past considering touches fully brother-sister platonic to romantic and flirty. They didn't seem overly concerned about confessions getting in the way and getting awkward. It just...it didn't ring true.

What if one person fell for the other and the other person didn't return their feelings? Things could get awkward then. What if they both had feelings but were too worried about risking the friendship to ever say anything and then they eventually ended up with other people and heartbroken? What if the other person didn't return the feelings and agreed to try dating anyway and it didn't end up working and everything was weird after that? What if-

Well, life wasn't a romantic comedy and everything working out perfectly didn't sound very realistic. So obviously the only real-life friends-to-lovers relationships that worked were just the rare exceptions.

More examples popped up as her classmates started dating. Ivan and Mylène had known each other before Ivan asked out Mylène, of course, but they hadn't been close friends or anything. They were just...friendly acquaintances. Classmates.

And then Marinette fell for Adrien. And obviously the path to getting a good relationship was asking him out first, then getting to know each other as they dated and became friends. So she tried to ask him out, she really did. But her tongue just kept on tying itself in knots, and she kept on embarrassing herself in front of him.

In short, it was far from the relationship starts that Marinette had heard about all of her life. Her parents had talked about nerves, sure, but not overwhelming, tongue-tying, trip-and-fall-on-your-face nerves. More just small butterflies before dates.

Marinette's nerves weren't small butterflies. No, they were giant, screeching eagles.

The months crept by and then turned into a full year, and Marinette was no closer to asking Adrien out than she had at the start. She could talk to him when she didn't have dates on the brain, sure, but when she was trying to ask him out? Forget about it.

And that meant that something had to change.

  "Okay, are we actually going to get anything done today, or are you two just going to flirt the entire time?"

Nino and Alya broke apart with identical sheepish grins as Adrien gave them an unimpressed look. From her side of the table, Marinette watched Adrien's exasperated grumbles with amusement, trying and failing to not blush when Adrien proclaimed her his favorite out of everyone else at the table, because she was actually working on their assignment.

Even after a year of being sort-of friends with him (and a year of failed attempts to ask Adrien out), Marinette couldn't help but get flustered whenever Adrien paid her special attention. Alya always squealed over it with her after the fact, which- well, that probably wasn't helping Marinette's case of permanent blush, but it was still fun to get excited about it.

Well. Sometimes. Other times, it was just anxiety-inducing stress.

"Okay, so what was our topic again?" Nino asked, settling back into his seat and picking up his pencil again. "Have we decided yet?"

"You would know that if you were actually paying attention," Adrien grumbled, crossing his arms and sitting back in his seat. "We were trying to pick a movie trope to do our report on, and we got about as far as having Marinette pull up a list of tropes to pick from before you two got distracted."

Nino laughed. "Do we even need a list? I already know what trope Adrien is going to vote for. He's a sucker for friends-to-lovers."

Adrien frowned at Nino, crossing his arms. "I am- I am not. I mean, I like it, yeah, but I'm not a sucker for-"

"He's pretending that I didn't see him browsing a Tumblr list of friends-to-lovers movies a week ago," Nino told the group. "And then checking out the summary for at least one of those movies."

Marinette blinked as she turned her attention back to Adrien. He liked friends-to-lovers? That was- well, she didn't think that it was realistic, but it was good to know that about Adrien. Maybe- maybe it would help. Somehow.

"I just think it's a good set-up for a healthy relationship," Adrien was saying when Marinette re-focused on what was going on around her. "I mean, they already know each other, and what the other person is like, and how to cheer the other person up when they're down, and their favorite kind of food, and their dreams, and-" He cut himself off mid-sentence, shrugging sheepishly. "They already know that they work together well. If you just jump into a relationship out of nowhere- I mean sure, it could work, but how likely is it? There's not that base already there. There has to be a much steeper learning curve, right?"

There was a pause.

"Okay, so one vote for friends to lovers trope from Adrien," Nino drawled, sitting back in his chair. "Uh, I don't really have any strong opinions about it, I guess. Alya?"

"I'm not anywhere near as passionate about any of those tropes as Adrien is, but you know me- anything with superheroes is great," Alya said with a grin, and Marinette jolted as she got kicked under the table. "But I think Marinette might be a little superhero-ed out after listening to me talk about the Ladyblog all of the time, so maybe we can listen to Adrien wax poetic about his favorite trope some more and just copy down what he says, write it up, and call it a day."

As Adrien started protesting the waxing poetic bit of Alya's statement, Marinette sat back in her seat. Adrien was clearly super-passionate about the friends-to-lovers thing and he listed off a lot of good points. It kind of sounded like he would want his own romantic relationships to develop out of a friendship, so he wouldn't be trying to- as he had put it- be trying to build a base together from scratch when starting a relationship. Given how reserved Adrien could be around people he didn't know, that- well, that kind of made sense.

Scratch that, it made a lot of sense.

Marinette leaned forward to watch Adrien banter with Nino, amusement glinting in his eyes and a grin pulling at the corners of his lips. His expression was warm and open and comfortable, a far cry from what he looked like whenever she made one of her confession attempts and ended up babbling nonsense instead.

She would have to change her approach, that much was clear. If Adrien wanted a friends-to-lovers relationship, well...

Then she would focus on being the best friend to Adrien that she could be and just hope against hope that eventually, he might return her feelings.

  Adrien couldn't help but half-collapse against Marinette's side as he laughed, snickering more as she groaned at her accidental pun.

He wasn't sure what had changed exactly, but a few months ago Marinette had stopped sometimes getting awkward around him and her full teasing side came out around him. They had similar enough senses of humor that they got along like a house on fire, joking around and teasing each other all the time. Depending on the day, Marinette either punned just as much as he did or groaned at every increasingly bad pun that he threw her way.

It was fun.

It was actually really good timing, Adrien reflected as Marinette returned his lean. Nino and Alya had gotten increasingly more attached at the hip lately as they started getting more serious about their relationship, and Adrien missed the close friendship that he and Nino had had. He was sure that Nino didn't mean to ditch him- it didn't help that Alya was always rushing off to record for the Ladyblog or edit submitted videos or write up articles and organize superhero photos and Nino helped out a lot with that now, and Adrien couldn't come to all of the hangouts that he used to because his father had tightened the reins thanks to the increased fan attention after Adrien branched out from modeling- but it didn't change that Nino did run off with Alya more often than not.

But Marinette seemed less interested in the superheroes than her best friend did, so she wasn't dashing off all the time. It was natural for the two of them to gravitate towards each other.

"Always with the cat puns," Marinette complained, though Adrien couldn't help but notice the note of amusement in her voice. "Bread puns are a much higher art form."

"Meow-tch, Marinette, always so judging," Adrien teased, jostling her with his shoulder. "Though at yeast you can appreciate some puns."

Marinette laughed that time. "Some puns are bread-er than others. But purr-haps we should put aside the buns- er, puns- and actually get the homework done."

Adrien grinned. "That sounds like a good idea. I think our teachers have forgotten that they're all giving us homework, we're getting so much. There's not enough time in the day to get all of it and my activities done." He had finally had to ask Nathalie to start cutting back on obligations, starting with commercials and other extras on top of photoshoots. It had helped, but soon he was going to have to start looking at what else he could cut. If he didn't have being Chat Noir on the side he would be able to handle everything just fine, probably, but dropping that was definitely not an option, so his other activities were all up for potentially being sent to the chopping block instead. "I'm looking forward to the summer, though I wouldn't be surprised if Father hires a tutor again so that I can stay ahead of the curve."

Marinette made a face, then glanced over at him. "I would say that that stinks, but it makes classes during the school year easier, doesn't it?"

"It makes more of a difference in some classes than others, so maybe I'll be able to persuade Father to only have the tutor do those subjects. Math and science are good to had a head start in," Adrien clarified. "Literature, not so much. And with History... well, the curriculum varies so much, I could spend all summer working on memorizing dates and names, only to get to school and find out that we're focusing on something different."

"Ooh, that's gotta be frustrating."

Adrien shrugged. If it weren't for the fact that he had hoped that the head start would help him when it came to keeping up despite his superhero activities, he probably wouldn't have cared that much. His tutors for history had always been big on names and dates, whereas he saw the general events as more important. Either way, the memorization would have eventually become a waste of time.

The two of them fell into a companionable silence as they worked on their homework, only interrupted by the occasional question. They ended up working through a couple math problems together, puzzling through a strategy that they had apparently both missed hearing in class together. Marinette's brow furrowed and her tongue stuck out as she focused, and Adrien grinned at the image before returning his attention to his own paper.

Doing homework with other people hadn't been a perk that Adrien had thought of when he first started going to school, but he had to admit that it actually made homework somewhat enjoyable. Both he and Marinette were getting helped by it, and, well, Adrien had never liked doing homework alone in his large room.

He was so, so lucky to have Marinette as a friend, he really was.

  "My father is going to kill me."

Nino winced as he looked in the tear in Adrien's jacket. The fabric had ripped when an overzealous fan had grabbed at Adrien's jacket when he was trying to head to class, and Adrien had reflexively jerked away. Chloe had chased the unfortunate girl off, but the damage was already done. "Can't your father just make another for you? Or buy another, I don't know how it works when he owns the company."

"I wish. But this is from a discontinued line." Adrien carefully pulled the jacket off, careful not to pull on the fabric further. "And he always wants me to treat my clothing carefully, anyway. It won't matter that a fan grabbed onto it."

"But it's not even your fault!" Nino exclaimed, clearly frustrated, and Adrien couldn't help but wince. He knew that, just as well as Nino did, but he knew what his father would tell him: even though the fan shouldn't have grabbed him, Adrien should have asked them politely to let go of his clothing before moving away. Jerking away not only endangered his clothes but also looked impolite. No matter how often Adrien tried to explain stuff like that to Nino, his friend seemed stuck on how unfair it was.

Adrien knew how unfair it was. He didn't need to be told. That was just how his life was, and he had to work with it.

"Yeah, but I could have avoided the tear still." Adrien looked at the jacket again, trying not to sigh. It was one of his very favorites, and now it was ruined. "What's worse is that it's a little chilly for just a t-shirt, but I can't be seen out and about with a torn jacket."

Nino made a face. "Yeah, that's tough."

As the two of them headed into the classroom, Adrien folded up his jacket, setting it down on the seat next to him. He would grab another one to wear for the afternoon when he went home for lunch, but he would just have to be a little chilly for the morning.

(His mom had loved the look of that jacket on him, saying that the collar was a good shape to compliment his face. He hadn't been looking forward to outgrowing it, but to have it ruined before that, even...)

"Morning, you two!" Alya greeted them cheerfully as she entered the classroom, Marinette not far behind her. Then she caught sight of Adrien's expression and frowned. "What's with the long face?"

"Some fangirl latched on to Adrien's jacket and tore it," Nino explained before Adrien could. "And he's worried about his father's reaction."

"What kind of tear?" Marinette asked at once, sliding into her seat and leaning forward over the desk. "Can I see? Maybe I can fix it."

Adrien lit up at once, picking up his jacket and shaking it open so that he could show Marinette. "Here, right along the buttons in front. It's in kind of a bad spot, though."

Marinette took it from him gently, eyes already inspecting the tear. "It isn't big, though, which is good. And your jacket is white, so I have thread in my bag that matches. Or at least I should." She set the jacket down and started digging in her bag, coming up with an aha and a sewing kit in her hand. "The fabric is a bit thin near the tear, though, so you might want to get it stabilized, too, so it doesn't tear in the future. I should have the materials for that at home, if you want me to do that after school."

Adrien slumped in relief. "Thank you so much. I didn't want to get rid of that jacket."

Marinette beamed at him as she pulled out a length of white thread and cut it. "It's no problem, really!"

Adrien watched as Marinette threaded her needle and then started inspecting the tear, pinning it in place so that she could start stitching. The bell rang before she could get in more than a stitch or two, though, forcing her to push it to the side for the time being.

Throughout the morning, Marinette worked on the jacket when she could, attaching the sides of the tear back together with tiny stitches. She had it back together by the time the bell rang to release them for lunch.

"Just be careful with that bit until we get it stabilized after school," Marinette warned him as she handed the jacket back. "That won't take long, it's just an iron-on piece to make up for the fact that that area is worn a bit thin."

Adrien nodded eagerly as he inspected the repair. The new seam was about as close to invisible as it could possibly be, which was a true testament to Marinette's skill. "Thank you so much, Mari. You're a lifesaver."

Marinette just ducked her head, suddenly shy. "It's really no problem. I'm glad to do it."

Later that day, once the thin spots had been expertly strengthened so that the jacket wasn't in any danger of ripping again and Marinette was blushing under his heaping praise, Adrien was glad that he had such a fantastic friend as Marinette.

  "Wait, can you do that move again, but slower?"

Marinette laughed as she repeated the move, just as quickly as before. Onscreen, her bot smashed her opponent into the ground. "What, and give away my secrets? How am I supposed to win then?"

"We could team up and play partner mode," Adrien suggested as the computer screen flashed with Marinette's victory. "And how are you meant to get better if you keep all of your secret moves to yourself so that I can't win?"

Marinette just laughed, her nose scrunching up adorably as she did.

Adrien hung over her shoulder as she started up the next game. "You would leave your teammate in the dark and put yourself at a disadvantage by keeping moves to yourself?"

"You could always watch and learn," Marinette teased, only taking her eyes off of the screen for long enough to stick her tongue out at him. Adrien thought about catching her tongue with his fingers, just to tease her, but he thought better of it last minute. "That's how I started out."

"Okay, first of all, I'm hardly starting out, and second- have you ever watched your fingers? They're too fast to follow."

Marinette sniffed. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"Are you sure? Would fluttering my eyelashes help?"

"That's not flattery, that's flirting," Marinette said with a laugh. "Not the same thing. And that won't get you far, either."

Adrien pumped one fist, undeterred. "Not far isn't the same as nowhere. It's progress!"

Marinette half-groaned, half-sighed. "You- you can't just flirt with people to get your way, Adrien."

"I wasn't going to go around flirting with everyone I meet, I was just going to flirt with you!" Adrien grinned over at her. "If I flutter my eyelashes enough, can I at least get a hint about the combo?"

Marinette's smile turned impish. "Sure. If you do enough fluttering, then you can get a hint."

Adrien didn't trust that smile, but he leaned over into Marinette's space and gave his eyelashes a good flutter, like he had seen Chloe do before. Marinette didn't look impressed, so he upped his game, fluttering his eyelashes until he could barely make out Marinette's face between the flutters. A snort of laughter told him that he had succeeded and Adrien sat back, triumphant.

"All right, one hint," Marinette announced, her voice quivering with barely-suppressed laughter. "And your hint..."

Adrien nodded eagerly.

"...is that making the combo requires hitting buttons on the controller."

"Marinette!" Adrien complained at once, lips falling into a pout. "I already knew that, that doesn't count!"

"If you want a proper hint, you'll have to up your flirting game to more than just eyelash fluttering," Marinette said primly. "That's beginner stuff. Everyone can do that."

Adrien smirked at her, crossing his arms. "Are you telling me to up my flirting game? 'Cause I can totally up my flirting game. You're playing with fire, Mari."

Marinette's scoff was enough to fire up Adrien's competitive streak. Pulling his feet up, he rolled over on the couch into his best flirty pose. Mentally thanking his exposure to modeling shoots- while he wasn't old enough yet to participate in the sexier shoots (a fact that he was endlessly thankful for), he had been in the area to get ready for his own shoots while the older models settled themselves into more alluring poses for more mature shots- Adrien lounged on the couch in his best seductive pose, finishing the pose with a quirked eyebrow at Marinette.

She did not look seduced. Instead, she burst into laughter.

"Oh come on," Adrien complained, lip sticking out in a pout. "That was flirty!"

"If you were wearing the right clothes, maybe," Marinette said with a laugh. "But Adrien, you're wearing a bread pun shirt and your hair is a mess. It's a funny contrast, that's all."

"Are you saying that a bread pun t-shirt can't be seductive?" Adrien demanded automatically before his brain caught up with his mouth. Once it did, he winced. "...uh, can you forget that I said that?"

The answer, he was guessing, was probably no. Marinette had fallen off of the couch laughing, her nose crinkled in clear delight. It was pretty adorable, actually, and Adrien couldn't even find it in himself to be embarrassed. Instead, he couldn't help but chuckle along as Marinette cackled on the floor.

"Oh my god, I can't believe I ever thought that you were cool," Marinette finally managed, flopped out bonelessly on the floor as giggles still occasionally shook her frame. "You're a dork. An adorable Grade- A dork."

"I can be cool," Adrien protested, but it felt more automatic than anything else. If Marinette thought that he was an adorable dork, then he was an adorable dork. "I can prove it!"

Marinette's giggles picked up again. "Is this gonna be like you 'proving' that you can flirt? Because I have some concerns."

Adrien could only smile at Marinette as she laughed, the beam on her face lighting up the room. She made everything she touched brighter, she really did.

He was so, so lucky to have her in his life.

  Chat Noir hated romantic akumas. He hated them.

Part of it was that they had a tendency to have mind-control powers. That always stunk. He didn't mind getting knocked around- super-suits made getting thrown clear across Paris a minor inconvenience. But getting mind-controlled? Getting turned against his Lady? That stunk.

The other part of it was- well, he hated the reminder that Ladybug didn't see him in the same way that he saw her. And sometimes they had to act the part of a couple to fly under an akuma's notice, and that was always hard, too. He couldn't get distracted by cheek kisses or snuggles or- anything, really. Especially the way that Ladybug played an attentive girlfriend, acting as though she was in love with him.

Akuma battles were always at least a little physically exhausting, but those battles were pretty emotionally exhausting as well. And Chat Noir- well, he wished that it wasn't like that. He wished that it would just be like any other battle where he had to watch out for particularly destructive powers.

He had tried moving on from Ladybug before, when he had talked to Kagami and came away with the suggestion that he switch targets. But that was easier said than done, and that whole day ("date", technically) had just kind of been a mess. While Adrien liked Kagami well enough, his feelings for her were more friendship and admiration than love.

When Adrien had told Nino about it a while after the fact (in the vaguest of terms, because he didn't want his friend asking about who his mystery love was, because how was he supposed to explain that it was Ladybug? Nino would think that it was a celebrity crush, something simple and not deep at all), Nino had groaned, rolled his eyes, and told Adrien that of course Kagami had made that suggestion, because she had a crush on him and of course she wanted him to move on from the other person. It wasn't meant to be good advice, it was meant to get him to look her way.

It hadn't worked, at least not very well.

But Nino hadn't really given Adrien any other advice in place of Kagami's, but maybe that was because Nino didn't have any experience with moving on from a past crush. He had switched his attention from Marinette to Alya, sure, but that had happened pretty much instantaneously and had Adrien wondering how on earth that had happened and if Nino's crush had really been on Marinette at all.

(After all, Marinette was amazing. And Alya was pretty cool, too, but Adrien just couldn't understand how someone could fall out of love with Marinette, let alone that fast, and then fall for someone else entirely within the space of an hour or so. That was just- it was unthinkable, really.)

But that was all beside the point at the moment: once again, there was a romantic akuma, and once again, he and Ladybug had had to play the part of a romantic couple to defeat it, to avoid getting hit by its powers. Once again, he was more affected by it than he wanted to be, considering that Ladybug- well, Ladybug had made it pretty clear that she wasn't interested in him like that and he had to respect that and move on. Somehow.

So naturally, Adrien went to Marinette, telling her everything (well, aside from the whole "superhero" thing- that wouldn't be a good idea, even if she was probably one of the most trustworthy people in Paris. He just dubbed Ladybug as a colleague, which- well, he could do that. He had a job outside of superheroing, after all) and then finishing with Kagami and Nino's input.

"Okay, yeah, Nino was right about Kagami's advice," Marinette said with a wince. "That's- if you're in love with someone else, just jumping into another relationship is never going to go well, you're just going to be distracted. It's not going to magically get you to move on."

"Yeah, okay, it's good to hear that," Adrien said, his shoulders relaxing. "I was worried that I just didn't give it enough of a try. But I- I want to be able to move on. Not necessarily with Kagami, but I want to respect my colleague's feelings. She's already rejected me, and holding out hope- well, I realized that it was just resulting in me being pushy."

Marinette smiled at him. "That's good about you to recognize that! But, uh..." She worried her lips. "I don't know what to say. I mean, maybe just be open to moving on and developing feelings for other people? Like, be able to recognize those potential feelings instead of just shutting them down as not a possibility, which- I can't read minds, I don't know if that might have been something that you've been doing or not. Only you can do that."

Adrien thought about it. Plagg had teased him about having feelings for Kagami and- well, actually, Marinette as well. And Adrien had kind of shut down the idea. Whether it was because he didn't actually think of them like that or because of Ladybug...well, it could be either. It could be both.

Clearly he needed to do some self-reflection next time Plagg claimed that Adrien was crushing on his friends.

"And then I would just say to make sure that you can actually commit and aren't still hung up on this other girl," Marinette added. "No one likes playing second fiddle. If you aren't ready to fully move on, don't rush yourself." She grinned. "I know it can be hard, with so many of our classmates in relationships, but..."

"Solid advice," Adrien agreed. He had to admit that yeah, seeing more and more of his peers starting to date had made him long for the same sort of relationship and the same sort of closeness, but Marinette was right. If he started dating, he needed to actually be properly invested in the relationship, not just trying to use it to move on from Ladybug. He owed whoever his future girlfriend might be that much. "Thanks, Marinette."

She just beamed at him. "No problem."

Adrien smiled back, feeling better about the whole situation now. Marinette always knew what to say, it seemed. He would take her advice for sure, and Adrien was sure that it would serve him well.

Whoever ended up with such a fantastic girl in the future was a lucky, lucky person, and Adrien hoped that they would treat her right.

  Stress hung over Marinette like a stormcloud. Adrien watched her with concern, his brow furrowing as he watched his friend start freaking out a bit, digging herself into a hole of anxiety as she tried to figure out how to tackle her pile of things to do.

Adrien couldn't let her do that to herself. Marinette helped out him- helped out all of her classmates- whenever she could. And now it was his turn to help her.

"Marinette, breathe," Adrien ordered, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Breathe. What are you panicking about?"

"I just- I have too much stuff to do!" Marinette exclaimed, hands knotting in her hair. "And then I get interrupted by other stuff, and I have less time, and exams are coming up, and- and-"

"Breathe," Adrien ordered, giving Marinette's shoulders another squeeze. "What all do you have to do?"

Marinette let out a huff. "Studying, of course. I told Alya that I would babysit for her tonight, before all this piled up- well, that was more of a regular thing, so it was assumed that I would do it this week, too, and I can't get anything done when I'm watching Ella and Etta, and then Jagged Stone wants me to design an outfit for him and I'm supposed to email him my concepts Saturday morning, and then I have some mending to do for Kitty Section's outfits, and then I'm supposed to be organizing something for this year's Heroes Day and I just- I don't know what I should be doing, if another picnic would work or if I should organize some volunteering thing, or- I don't know. If I do a volunteering thing, I have to get that figured out soon so that I can contact the appropriate people, and-"

"You're not breathing." Adrien's thumbs started to rub circles on Marinette's shoulders. "Slow down. We can work through this. First of all, drop the babysitting. Tell Alya that you can't do it this week. She's your best friend, she wouldn't want to be one of the reasons why you're stressed out." And if Alya had any problems with Marinette backing out, Adrien would have words with her. "Okay?"

Marinette's nod was jerky.

"I personally really love the volunteering idea for Heroes Day." Adrien glanced down at Marinette. She nodded, though there was a small bit of a wince there. "I know I've heard of organizations kind of taking advantage of the celebration to set up volunteering opportunities, so if we can find a collège-level one, it might just be a matter of clearing it with Ms. Bustier and signing the class up."

Marinette looked up at him. "W- we?"

"You didn't really think that I wouldn't offer to help out, did you? Not a single chance." Sure, maybe his schedule was pretty busy too, but Adrien could manage. Besides, he could probably do some research to find an opportunity when he was getting driven around to photoshoots and his assorted other activities.

The look of utter relief on Marinette's face- wow. She clearly had been stressed beyond belief.

"Kitty Section can make do without the repairs until you have time," Adrien continued after a second, remembering the pieces that Marinette was referring to. "And I don't think we have any performances for a while." He gave Marinette a fond look. "You were just trying to be ready for anything, weren't you?"

"Maybe just a little," Marinette admitted with a shaky giggle. "It's just one more pile in my room, always reminding me that I have to do it. And it wouldn't take long, necessarily- none of the repairs are that big- but I can't get other stuff done at the same time."

Adrien smiled, even as he pulled her into a hug. "That's very you. But just set them to the side and remember that they aren't a priority. It's not worth stressing yourself out over."

"Okay."

"And Jagged Stone is really understanding, you know he is," Adrien finished. "Email Penny and tell her that you've got a little too much going on at the moment to be inspired for something properly rock 'roll and you need a little more time. I'm sure he commissioned you with plenty of time in mind."

Marinette nodded into his shoulder.

"I can text Nathalie and ask permission to come study with you," Adrien added quietly, tucking Marinette deeper in his arms. "I know it can be easier to study together sometimes, so that you stay focused and we can quiz each other. If you want to study alone, just say the word, but if you want to..."

"I want to study together," Marinette said quietly, hugging him tighter. "I have some questions about our math unit, and I've really been struggling with studying for that test. And you seem to understand it."

"Of course." Adrien smiled into Marinette's head. "No problem." He paused. "D'you want to start studying right away, before class starts, or...?"

"Can we just stand here for a bit?" Marinette asked quietly. "I just need to breathe for a minute."

Adrien hugged her tighter, more than willing to prolong the hug. "Of course."

No matter what Marinette needed, Adrien would be there for her. She was amazing, but even the most amazing people needed support every now and then. They couldn't be expected to carry their load all on their own. They couldn't. They would eventually break under the pressure.

And Marinette was far too precious to let break.

  Adrien had just realized that his heart had gotten tangled up. Again.

It hadn't- it hadn't exactly been a sudden realization, more just one that crept up on him over time. He hadn't realized it sooner, probably because with Ladybug, it had been immediate.

With Marinette, it had been gradual. They had gone from friends-of-friends to actual friends to best friends, pretty much, and now...

Yeah, he was in over his head, and he hadn't even realized it before.

Adrien smiled as he watched Marinette laughing with Rose. It was such a far cry from the strung-out anxious look that she had worn only weeks prior, and it was such a better look on her. She had passed her exams with flying colors, Alya had found a different babysitter to take over when she went out on dates with Nino (which was for the better, in Adrien's opinion; after all, Marinette wasn't getting paid for the extra work and she had a lot more than Alya did on her plate), their Heroes Day trash pick-up volunteering opportunity was lined up for right after school, Rose had helped finish up the mending, and Jagged Stone's outfit sketch had absolutely burst out of Marinette and onto paper as soon as all of her other worries had been sorted out, and the rock star had loved it. Marinette had started working on getting pattern pieces cut already, but Jagged Stone had assured her that really, there was no hurry, he just had wanted to get in line for a Marinette original before she hit it big and forgot about him.

Adrien's smile got bigger at that particular memory. Marinette had giggled at Jagged Stone's dramatic proclamation, turning pink. Her, getting so famous that she forgot about Jagged Stone? Unlikely. But he clearly had a lot of faith in her, and was more than willing to work with her schedule instead of her having to actually hit any deadline. And he was paying her well, too, which Adrien had (briefly) been concerned about.

He didn't want anyone taking advantage of Marinette's kindness and eagerness to help out, so he was glad that Jagged Stone at least understood the importance of actually compensating Marinette fairly for her time and talent.

Her extensive talent. Ever since they became close friends, Adrien had gotten to see more and more of Marinette's work and it was so creative and fun and bubbly and her. No matter what she decided to do in the future, be it being an independent designer or joining some lucky company, she would excel.

And Adrien wanted to be there to see it firsthand, from Marinette's side if possible.

Plagg sniggered from inside of Adrien's jacket, making Adrien startle and pull his gaze away from Marinette. He had been staring, and being far too obvious about it.

"Well, you've gotten your friends-to-lovers romance," Plagg sing-songed, smirk clear in his voice. "Like I've called all along."

"There's no to lovers yet," Adrien hissed back, trying not to move his lips. He was already weird because of the smell that came with Plagg's cheese obsession; he didn't need to be labeled as the boy who talked to himself, too. "I've fallen for her, sure, but there's no way to know if she feels the same way."

Which was the problem with the whole "friends to lovers" trope, he was now realizing. Sure, he fell for Marinette and absolutely everything about her, but what now? Did he flirt and see if she flirted back? Would that even mean anything if she did? They already had a pretty flirty dynamic, so how was he meant to up that without it going a little too far? He didn't want to make Marinette uncomfortable at all, and he didn't want to risk losing their close friendship.

Romantic comedies made it look so easy, transitioning from friends to something more. It was not easy.

"Yet," Plagg stressed. "You can't just sit back and magically be dating. You gotta ask her."

"That's the hard part!" Adrien complained. "I don't know if she feels the same!"

And there was no way to safely figure that out. If Adrien asked Alya she would probably know, but the likelihood that she would tell Marinette...no, he couldn't risk it. Alya might be too interested in the possibility of double dates to keep the secret. But Nino...

Well, Nino could maybe give him some advice. Nino was in a relationship, and he and Alya had kind of been friends before they started dating, though they hadn't been anywhere as close to each other then as Adrien and Marinette were now.

...and Nino had tried to confess to Marinette (Adrien was so, so glad now that that attempt had been thoroughly bungled), panicked and claimed that he was in love with Alya, who apparently had been close enough to overhear somehow (he had never quite understood that part of Nino's explanation), and then got locked in an empty panther cage for long enough for them to actually talk through the awkwardness and figure out that they might actually be interested in dating.

It was very possible that Nino was not a shining example of how to start a relationship. Still, there was a friends-to-lovers sort of dynamic there even if he and Alya pretty much powered accidentally into the awkward stage , and Nino knew Marinette and had Alya as a girlfriend, so maybe he would have some insights there.

Adrien dithered about it for several days, trying to decide if it was really a good idea. Best-case scenario, Nino didn't tell anyone and dished out some good advice. Worst-case scenario- well, worst-case scenario either had Nino telling Adrien that he knew that Marinette wasn't interested, or had Nino telling Alya and Alya telling Marinette and everything going completely weird. But he didn't- he couldn't sit in limbo for forever. It just wasn't in his nature.

So Adrien told Nino.

"-and normally I would just flirt and test the waters that way but we flirt for fun anyway, we have for ages, so I can't do that. And I've watched a bunch of my favorite movies to try to get ideas, but romantic comedies made the whole confession thing look so easy but what if I confess and she doesn't feel that way? What if I make things weird? Nino, help," Adrien all but begged, eyes widening hopefully at his friend.

His friend, who was laughing at him.

"The two of you are ridiculous, you really are," Nino said with another chuckle. "Especially you, watching movies to get ideas. Obviously they aren't going to be particularly realistic, they're fantasies."

"I was desperate!"

"Yeah, I can tell," Nino muttered. Then he sighed. "Hopeless."

"Do you have any suggestions, though?" Adrien asked, feeling a little less hopeful now. "I just don't want to ask and make things weird if she's not interested in me like that, so I need to figure it out on my own first, and-" He groaned, running his hands through his hair. "I just don't know how to do that. And if I misread her and ask her out when she's not interested...I just don't see how that wouldn't mess stuff up between us."

Nino ran his own hand through his hair with a mutter and a groan, then dropped his hands back down with a sigh. He fixed Adrien with a look. "Okay, I'm not supposed to say anything under threat of disembowelment, but trust me- you will not be disappointed if you ask. Seriously."

Adrien stared at Nino. "Have- have you heard something? How do you know that?"

"I've got my connections, all right? That's all I can say." Nino glanced over his shoulder towards where Adrien and Marinette were talking across the courtyard. "Trust me, and ask her out. Just make sure that you don't overschedule yourself and end up with a photoshoot or something when you promised to take Marinette out on a date, okay?"

With that, Nino nodded to Adrien and headed towards Alya, a spring in his step. Adrien watched him go, stuck between elation and worry.

He trusted Nino. If Nino promised that Marinette liked Adrien like that, then Adrien wouldn't question him. But Nino had brought up another concern- Adrien had to cancel things all the time thanks to 'last-minute photoshoots' or 'extra piano lessons' or- he couldn't remember all of his excuses, even. They were pretty much all actually akuma attacks that he had to go deal with, but it wasn't like he could actually say that. And Nino was right- it wasn't as though Adrien could just go around canceling dates all the time without it having some impact on his relationship with Marinette.

If they started dating and he was canceling all the time, they would probably end up breaking up, and that would be even worse for their relationship. No, he couldn't do that. He would have to wait until Hawkmoth was defeated- but he didn't know how long that would take. Marinette might move on to someone else in the meantime, thinking that he wasn't interested, and Adrien would find himself with a one-sided crush again.

But at least he would still be friends with Marinette then.

"Kid, I know what you're thinking, and it's not going to work like that," Plagg told him, popping out of Adrien's jacket. "You're forgetting that Nino knows that you're interested in Marinette now, and he's probably going to tell Alya pretty much right away. They're both going to be waiting for you to ask Marinette out."

Adrien groaned. He had pretty much backed himself into a corner now, hadn't he? That was frustrating. He just- he didn't want to ruin things. "Plagg, I need your ancient wisdom. I'll get you a round of really fancy cheese if you help."

Plagg snorted. "I'll help just to get you to stop moping around, but the cheese is a nice touch." He shifted, settling down more comfortably in Adrien's pocket. "I'd say be honest with Marinette. Like, she knows that you have to dash off sometimes. You've been friends long enough for her to know that. She might be able to come up with a solution to work around your need to run off. That, or at least acknowledge that she's willing to go into a relationship with the understanding that you might have to cancel and reschedule stuff."

...okay, Plagg could give out good advice when he wanted to. Adrien let out a breath, considering Plagg's words. He made a good point; Marinette knew him already, and put up with him dashing off for akuma attacks (or 'last-minute photoshoots') without complaint. Communication was important, Adrien had heard Mr. Dupain and Mrs. Cheng say that before. Even though it was intimidating, Adrien needed to include Marinette in the conversation. He couldn't take her decision away from her.

If she wanted to try dating with the understanding that he might have to cancel last-minute, then they would. If she wanted to wait until his schedule settled down, then they could do that and Adrien would seriously step up his game as Chat Noir and try to brainstorm ideas (potentially with Ladybug's assistance; after all, she was the creative powerhouse of their team) to track down and defeat Hawkmoth for once and for all.

It took a couple days for Adrien to build up the courage to bring up the topic with Marinette. He was worried about how to approach the whole thing- he didn't want to get her hopes up about potentially dating him, only to be let down when he made it clear that last-minute cancellations would be unavoidable. Adrien had decided that if she gave him a chance, he would do his best to let Marinette know before transforming and heading into battle, instead of ghosting and then letting her know later.

Despite having practiced (and refined, and practiced and refined some more) what he was going to say, Adrien muddled his entire prepared speech in front of Marinette, words and points out of order to the point where he wondered if anything was comprehensible. Marinette sat patiently, listening until Adrien's words until they tumbled to an uncoordinated stop. Adrien had turned steadily redder as he talked, and now his cheeks were flaming.

He was sure that the Dupain-Chengs were right and communication was important, but right now, communication was feeling a lot like spilling his guts on the ground in an ungainly heap and then cringing in mortification.

Thankfully, Marinette was ever-understanding and fantastic. She took a minute to parse through all of Adrien's words, then nodded and sat back, her own cheeks pink.

"Okay, if I'm understanding correctly- you're interested in dating me, but you're worried about having to miss dates because of things scheduled for you last-minute," Marinette started, watching Adrien's expression. "And you don't want us to start dating and then break up because of that."

Adrien nodded, swallowing. "Right."

"And Nino gave away that I would be interested."

Adrien gulped. He hadn't realized that he had given that away in the rush of word vomit. "Uh."

"If you hadn't told him that you were interested first, he would be dead," Marinette muttered, then she smiled and scooted closer to Adrien. "I understand that you have a lot more stuff going on in your life than a lot of other kids our age, Adrien. And I know that you sometimes get called away for stuff unexpectedly. I do too, sometimes." She reached out, squeezing his hand. "We can work around that."

Adrien looked into Marinette's eyes, swallowing hard as he searched for any hesitation. There wasn't any, just her normal lovely determination. "It might get frustrating after a while. I know Nino didn't mind at first, but it got really old, really fast. And that was just with, like, study sessions. Not dates."

"We can make it work." Marinette's smile was small, but determined. "We can be flexible with our planning. Maybe we can set stuff up last-minute, once we know that you don't have an activity shoehorned in. And we can keep our dating pretty laid-back, too. Like, one date per week instead of two or more like Nino and Alya are doing. And we don't have to if we're really busy. Like, dating isn't just about going out."

"We can keep doing our study sessions, like normal," Adrien chimed in, picking up where Marinette was going. The knots in his stomach were slowly unraveling. The way that Marinette was describing their potential relationship was a lot less intimidating than what Nino always talked about, with multiple dates per week and dinners with the parents and literally always cuddling and being together. What Marinette was talking about was them, just with some relationship stuff mixed in.

Marinette giggled. "Though we could start throwing in kisses as celebration for finishing a section."

Adrien officially approved.

"There's no one-size-fits-all relationship, my parents have told me," Marinette finished once the two of them were done nervously giggling at the concept of kisses. "And no single right way to do a relationship. We just have to find what works for us and not be concerned about other people's expectations for us."

"You are officially too smart for me," Adrien said with a laugh, but he scooted closer anyway, gaze dropping to Marinette's lips. "Too much wisdom."

Marinette giggled, and he didn't miss the way that she shifted closer to him, too. "It all comes from my parents, honestly. If you hang around them enough, it wears off on you."

"Well, I think they're usually working when I can come over, but maybe if I spend enough time with you, I'll learn their wisdom by proximity," Adrien suggested, leaning closer. Their noses were practically brushing now. "What do you think?"

"I think that you should stop teasing and kiss me," Marinette breathed, tipping her chin up. "It would be nicer- mmm."

Adrien smiled into the kiss, pulling Marinette closer as they pressed their lips together. His heart was racing, but kissing Marinette just felt right. It felt perfect, and it just got better as Marinette let out a content little sigh and shifted to a better angle.

She was right again, of course. Kissing was much better than teasing.

[writeyourownlifestory]

L I GH T S  U P

Chapters: 1/20 Fandom: IT Rating: M Warnings: No warnings at this time  Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Beverly Marsh/Ben Hanscom Additional Tags: PunkRocker!Eddie, Writer!Richie, Beveddie!Friendship, No Clown Written by: myself & @ahardlife Tag list: @richietoaster, @beproudtozier, @that-weird-girls-blog, @s-onora, @s-s-georgie, @bellarosewrites, @iamcupcakefrosting, @reddieonwheels, @bi-gemini1983

Puff piece writer Richie Tozier is given the chance of a lifetime to interview his celebrity crush: Dr. K, the lead singer of punk rock band, Trashmouth. Dr. K is about to release his first solo album and Richie wants to get all the dirty details. But all is not what it appears to be and the two realize they know each other from a different time, in a different place, when they were both very different people.

One: Cruel To Be Kind: Nick Lowe

Oh I can't take another heartache Though you say you're my friend, I'm at my wit's end You say your love is bonafide, but that don't coincide With the things that you do And when I ask you to be nice, you say

You've gotta be cruel to be kind, in the right measure Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign Cruel to be kind, means that I love you, baby (You've gotta be cruel) You gotta be cruel to be kind

Richie Tozier didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life.

That wasn’t a very unique statement but Richie wasn’t a very unique person. An average guy who was as blind as a bat, born in bumblefuck nowhere and eventually making it out of there and into the big wild city, making a living working at a big-name magazine.

Okay, the last part was pretty impressive, but he didn’t actually work very hard for that job.

He used to dream of writing comedy. Of telling jokes or writing for amazing shows like Saturday Night Life or something on Comedy Central. He wanted to be a comedian. To make people laugh. Sure, he is seen as the funny guy around the watering tank, but thats just because the rest of the people he worked with were a bunch of yuppies with impressive college degrees and no real personalities. They’re no better than the robots who work for Buzzfeed.

They had paperback covers and an app for people who didn’t want to go to the store to buy an actual copy. They had their own YouTube channel that hit millions of hits thanks to interviews and other shit that Richie took part in.

When Bill decided he wanted to make this into a real thing, he wanted it to make some sense. It wasn’t some balls to the ball insanity mag that people read for juicy gossip. It was real. The people who subscribed were real and the people featured in it were real.

Richie’s writing, not so much.

He mostly did puff pieces. Little things that didn’t take a lot of effort but were mostly filler in between the larger stories. It was something Bill had done for them after the magazine got big. You see, he and Bill had been buddies in college. Both young and naive about the world. Neither really knew what they wanted, but they had dreams and that was all that mattered back then.

It was Bill that had the real talent with writing and despite publishers being interested, he never took into account just how much time, effort, and money went into getting a book published. Richie, always believing in his best friend, decided to give him all the cash he had saved up for spring break so he would make the first move on getting his novel out.

He didn’t mind much as he found that he could eat, sleep, and drink on the couch the same way he could out on the beach.  

That novel ended up being a best seller and skyrocketed Bill’s career. Bill always remembered that, so when his second and third books became such a thrill, he decided to take the chance and create a magazine and brought Richie along for the ride.

It was easy work and he made good money for doing very little, but he found that was the main cause of his quarter-life crisis. He wanted so much more than he had been given that Richie was actually feeling guilty for wanting more.

He had done stand up in the city and even took an improv class, but nothing seemed to stick to him. Now he was over thirty and found himself in a rut. He lived alone in a small apartment filled with things he didn’t need but purchased because he thought they would bring out a sense of excitement.

He was single, though that was a whole nother issue as it took Richie an embarrassingly long time to come to terms with his own sexuality. Growing up in a small town where people were cruel and the world didn’t understand left marks on an impressionable kid. It wasn’t until he was halfway through college that he did anything with a guy and well-passed gradation that he realized that it was more than okay to be gay, it was normal.

So yeah, he was open and fine with it, but still lonely as hell. He had been with people in the past, but he found that he mostly just shut himself off from the world. He wasn’t happy about anything anymore and it seemed the only thing that got him by was that ending it all would have proved his teenage bullies right; that he was better off dead.

And if there was anything Richie wanted to live for, it was spite.

And also music.

Despite not being musically inclined at all, Richie loved music with all his heart. He spent a good portion of his time listening to records as a kid. He used to go around carrying a walkman and CD player and Zune throughout his life. He paid for the mom's gigs on his phone because he needed to have all his favorite songs ready to blast at the tap of a finger.

While they already had a guy that wrote specifically about music for the magazine, he had always been able to sweet talk Bill into allowing him to have a few moments to shine and write something about some artist. Those were the pieces that really mattered to him. The ones that gave Richie the chance to dive deep into the thing he loved.

Sure, he had written a whole expose on Street Fighter and perhaps he did make a big deal out of the Star Wars franchise, but it was the moments when Richie could reel back and listen before writing that got him going.

They rarely did full-length articles on performers as the magazine was something of a clusterfuck of topics. Bill Denbrough never wanted to settle on just one thing. Paper Boat was more than just one specific topic. It was everything and they would be damned if they ever settled on its something.

But of course, now and then something would come along and the whole team would be scrambling to put together a magazine dedicated to that one specific person. It wasn’t always a celebrity. Bill meant what he said when he wanted to keep the magazine aimed at the everyday people.

Their biggest seller to date had been when they put out issues all about Ben Hanscom the architect. Richie had no idea why anybody would want to read about the guy other than to enjoy the pictures that were taken of him, but low and behold, the world wanted to know.

As it turned out, Ben was a decent human being who just wanted to make the world a better place and he also happened to be extremely hot while doing it. Who knew that was possible!

The physical copies sold out everywhere and the website crashed thanks to all the promotions they did on it. Like, what the actual fuck?

Bill was that good at what he did and it also helped that he was writing his books on the side. He had people from all over coming through wanting to see what they could do and it only proved to be more impressive as time went on.

Now the magazine needed something new, something fresh and it seemed Bill had it all planned out.

“Here at Paper Boat, we don’t choose a good looking celebrity because we want to make money. You know, I’m not going to call up Jennifer Aniston and ask her to do me a favor -- I could, but I won’t -- because that isn’t what we do here.” Bill explained as they went over the board meeting for the next issue. “The people featured on our cover are interesting. People who want to bring the world together and make a change. Or maybe they’re just batshit insane and look good while doing it. Who knows.”

A small array of laughter came over the place. Richie leaned back in his chair, half paying attention. He knew how these things went. Bill made a big, exciting speech before revealing who or what they’d be focusing on. The assignments would be passed around and Richie would be given something soft and fun.

He got the dumb shit that got the people who didn’t want to read involved. Sometimes he’d do interviews while vlogging. They’d try food they never tried before or do something stupid. One of the most interesting had been when he got assigned to interview Kristen Wiig while bobbing for apples. Certainly interesting and the flow to the website was wonderful.

Richie was the writer they went to when they wanted it to seem kitsch and gimmicky. Enough for it to garner actual attention, but nothing worth anybody's time.

He tossed his stress ball up in the air, catching it as it followed the natural path and came back down. He got bored easily as meetings like this and he waited for Bill to just get on with it and assign everybody their respected jobs.

Bill hit a button on his computer, revealing a picture that Richie was all too familiar with. It was of a punk rock band that he had followed since he graduated from college. Trashmouth was one of the greatest bands that had ever come into Richie’s life. They were like if Queen and the Ramones were put together, had a baby, and then that baby had a baby with Green Day: that weirdly insane combination would be Trashmouth.

There were five members, but the main focus was and always had been the lead singer and guitarist Dr. K. Nobody knew why he went by that nor did he ever give an answer. Richie had googled him a couple of times, wanting to find out more, but the guy was a fucking mystery. It was like he just appeared on the scene, completely out of his mind with cut off sleeves and steller vocals.

It was safe to say Richie had a big gay crush on Dr. K.

And that was fine because Dr. K was just as gay.

He had never been seen with anybody, always choosing to keep his personal life private, but his songs were obvious enough even if most of them seemed pretty genderless. He had done one interview where the person asking the questions kept using the term ‘she’ or ‘her’ until finally, the guy replied that he writes songs about guys.

That took the world by fucking storm and Richie Tozier had never been the same.

“Some of you may be familiar with Trashmouth. Multiple Grammy noms and wins. Always in the top 40 listings despite repeatedly being told that punk rock was dead.”

“Please tell me we’re going to be featuring the band,” Mike, the music specialist for the magazine, piped up eagerly.

“I can’t because we won’t,” Bill replied. “Our focus is on him.” Bill hit another button and a solo picture of Dr. K popped up.

Richie’s mouth was watering and he sat up straight. He had the same picture in a small poster in his apartment. It was set up alongside some other pictures in what he called his “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Wall” because he was just that big of a fan. He looked at it often, always finding himself thankful for all the music that had been created and got him through some pretty dark days as a kid.

Did it also help that Dr. K was incredibly attractive and gave Richie a little bit of encouragement just by looking so good? Yes, yes it did.

“It seems Dr. K will be going off on his own. My sources tell me he’ll be putting out a solo album by the end of the year and I want to know everything about it. Mikey, that’s your job. Speak to whoever you have to to find out what is going to be on that album. Audra, speak to the rest of the band, find out how they feel about the ending of an era. Georgie, get your camera ready because we’re doing a photo shoot with him in three days.”

“Who is doing the main exposé?” Greta asked, popping her gum as she spoke.

Bill smirked, turning back to his computer. “I’ll pick someone later. For now, you’re all dismissed.”

The group got up from their chairs and left Bill’s office. All except for Richie, who was too fucking flabbergasted to do a damn thing. As Bill began to head out, he finally scrambled to his feet to follow him. His long legs led him there quickly, though he mostly sidestepped around his coworkers to finally reach their boss.

“Bill! Big Bill! Wait up.” He called, following him to the elevator.

“What's up, Rich? I’m about to head out for lunch.” Bill said, turning to face him. “You hungry? We could check out that new sandwich place that opened across the way.

“Oh, no. I’m time. Stuffed.” Richie patted his stomach lamely, offering a large smile to his friend and boss. “Hey! So, just checking in to see about that latest pitch.”

“Oh right,” Bill paused, hitting the elevator button. “You were a fan of that band, right? Oof. Sorry about the breakup buddy. Haven’t you seen them like six times?”

“It’s sixteen, but that’s not important right now.” Richie corrected. “Bill. Buddy. You have to listen to me.”

“You got it, Rich.”

“I know you only trust me with the puff pieces because I’m not as talented as Mike or even Greta, but I need you to trust me on this.”

“You can do the exposé, Rich.”

“I have gotten better over time and I swear, if you just give me the chance, I promise. I won’t do a single embarrassing voice or anything to get Paper Boat blacklisted.”

“I’m sure you’ll embarrass yourself in one way or another, but that’s your issue. You have two days.”

“Until what?”

“Until your interview with Dr. K,” Bill said, stepping into the elevator as the doors opened. “If you’d stopped rambling you would have heard me tell you that you’re going to be the one doing the expose. You’ll be meeting him in two days, so you better come up with some good questions.”

“Holy shit,” Richie muttered.

“Holy shit, indeed Tozier,” Bill smirked. “I know you’ve been in some sort of funk lately, so I hope that this will shake you up a bit. Better keep your fanboy boner under control.” Bill warned, smiling as the elevator doors closed between them.

Whether Richie realized it or not, Bill believed in him and his writing ability. He may not have the raw talent like himself, but he knew what Richie was capable of. He has a way with people that allowed them to loosen up and relax and nothing was better for a good interview than someone comfortable with the person asking the questions.

Bill couldn’t think of a single person who would be better for this specific project and having Richie be an uber-fan of the artist was just a bonus. If Richie made an ass of himself, that would be his problem, not the magazines.

Richie stood there, not knowing what to do next. He looked to his watch, realizing he had less than 72 hours to come up with a buttload of questions for his idol. He ran back to his cubby to brainstorm.

[jadeloverxd]

Christmas With The Railroad

Word Count: 789

"3..."

" 2..."

"1... And rolling!"

"I know it's Christmas, but does everyone have to—"

"Tom I swear I will make Deacon sit on you if you don't put this sweater on."

"Maybe we should just find a way to get them all outside to make them appreciate the sweaters," Deacon whispers in Sole's ear off camera.

"I heard that!"

Sole pushes the itchy green sweater in his hands, making sure to stare him down until he gives and puts on the sweater, "Oh, okay we need to find a less... terrible looking sweater—dark green does not go with Tom."

Deacon nods, snickering at Tom's misery and scanning the room for Glory. Everyone else in Railroad HQ had already been forced to wear the ugly sweaters, thanks to Sole. And surprisingly, everyone was in high spirits.

Deacon couldn't even remember a time when it was like this.

He spotted Glory off in a corner of HQ, rubbing her hands up and down her arms but stopping when she sees Deacon, and the camera,"Glory-Mory will you—"

"Fuck off. It's mine."

"But green brings out your—what are you gonna do with that? Shoot me?" The camera focuses on the minigun in her hold.

"So is that a no from the angry lady?" Sole asks Deacon when he walks back empty handed.

"Well she nearly shot me so... I think she loves the sweater."

"Who the fuck got me a fake dick?" Glory holds up the nine inch black object. Sole and Deacon couldn't even go without laughing without thinking about the thing.

"Look on the bright side. At least you don't have to go far in search of a good dick," Sole smiles, face a bright shade of red from laughing, "Don't worry, we cleaned it up real nice."

"It's fake."

"And you're made of plastic tell me something I don't—she threw her dick at me!"

Deacon looks at them from the rim of their shades, as the camera zooms in on him, "You my friend, have been dicked."

"Should've burned this place down while I had the chance," Carrington mutters and leaves.

"Wait your present!"

"Pretty sure it's going to blow up in my face this time."

"Damn," Sole whispers into the camera , "He's good."

"Is that the Institute holotape?" Tom flips the holotape over in his hands. As if he could see right through it.

"Yeah, I think I might've put Mario Kart on there or—"

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Dude I meant as another file—oh hey Mac."

"Okay so we gave Glory her dick, she didn't want it—Deacon, please don't think of sucking on that—gave Tom his games, booted Mac out for being obsessed with Mario Kart sadly, Carrington..." Sole looks at the camera, "I need to double the explosiveness."

"Glory will be back," Deacon says while adjusting his white beard, "and thank you for my chance of pretending to be an old man."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Was this really necessary?" Des wrings out her hair from the bucket of water Sole tossed on her, scowling at the two and the camera.

"Smoking is bad for you."

"Deacon..." Des warns.

"Whom may I ask is Deacon?" He says in a thin voice.

"You should really stop smoking, cancer could already be forming..." Sole points the camera to the cigarette that wasn't touched by water.

"Yeah, yeah," she waves a hand at the both of them as they look to each other and nod, Sole reaching into their pocket and drawing out a polished, gold-plated flip lighter and pushing it into Desdemona's hand.

"Read it."

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to forcibly give yourself cancer. Merry Christmas!

"What's the point in Christmas if you're pranking people?!" Carrington yells.

"What's the point of Christmas if you're even alive?!" Sole yells back at him

"I mean, we haven't even given you two your presents," The camera focuses on Glory with two boxes in her hand.

"Hey turn that shit off."

"Why?"

"Because you won't be needing it where you're going."

"They sent us right into a deathclaw nest for Christmas?!" Deacon whistles, "That's low, even for me."

"Well I did ask for a baby deathclaw..."

They're both silent, save for the few growls below them and the faint popping of a gun firing in the distance. Sole stares back into the black shades that belong to Deacon until he whispers back, "I hate you and love you at the same time. That's not possible. I want one too."

An explosion sounds from the bottom of the tower, accompanied with a roar of pain, and Sole smiles, "Merry Christmas Dee."

"Merry Christmas Sole."

For @bonesaw-cowboy

I know I'm like... Two days late for Christmas, but here's your present, done with what I could... do? The camera scenario was inspired by a family member who would do this all the time and create his own little comedy video (bless his heart)...

Hope I at least made you laugh, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

[the-risen-tide]

OKAY SO, I finally went to see the new Cats movie in theaters.  I wanted to give myself a bit to collect my thoughts, because HOO BOY are there thoughts.  Not terrible ones though...like my reviews of everything else, I gave it a look with a level head.

Because I can’t really review without spoilers, I’m going to put my thoughts under a cut.  Read at your own peril.

Now, I’d promised myself ages ago that I’d go into the movie with an open mind and a clear head.  I’d already seen reviews that were divided greatly on it (mostly between people who’d already seen Cats on stage and those that have never seen it ever), but as usual it’s a good idea to have your own opinion.

That said.

I loved it.

The weird part is, at first, I came away from it thinking that I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would.  But everything about it from the visuals to the music (especially the new song, I’ll get to that in a bit) and the story, all of it was still sticking with me after I left the theater, and I began loving it more in hindsight than I did sitting there in the moment, if that makes sense.

Cats has always been one of those shows that breaks quite a few rules of what people think a show should be.  More an opera than a musical, more a dance/ballet performance than a story, with a look that allows the audience to use their imaginations, and as such can put more than a few people off of it.  It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but despite that, it’s memorable, and has a great following.  The movie seemed to try to take that feeling from the stage show, strange and mystifying and daunting (maybe even a bit awkward), yet charming and inspiring and heart-catching.  In many ways it succeeded, and some ways it didn’t...and where it didn’t was probably mostly the fault of the presentation.  And of course, opinions are going to vary wildly on it.

But anyway, for those that know and love the show, it’s a good idea to see this one as just another production, an alternate canon, because you can’t compare each production to each other (much less a movie to a stage show), as that’s where an adaptation fails in everyone’s minds.  This one seemed to take inspiration from the original 1981 production and build a new story from the ground up, while of course still keeping the music and songs that everyone loves.  The lyrics of some of the songs do call back to the original production (the version of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer used was from that one, and not from the 1998 video and subsequent performances, which I found surprising; but not displeasing, they did it very well), and while I was a little disappointed that Jemima/Sillabub wasn’t an important character as she is in the stage show, I remember Lloyd Webber at first wanting a kitten character with both Victoria’s dance prowess and Jemima’s singing prowess, who embodies the show as a whole.  He got what he wanted in movie form with Victoria, and they took the character to a whole different direction than the original, which was interesting.

So, to sum up, one can see this movie as an adaptation of the original ideas for the stage show.  It isn’t my personal canon concept, but it’s one I ended up liking just as much.  Now, here are my personal likes and dislikes.

Dislikes: The background characters aren’t given as much personality as they are on stage, or at least, aren’t shown as much personality; and with many of them taking on different designs, it’s hard to tell who’s who until you see the credits, where everyone’s named.  You only ever know a few of the main characters, their own stories, and that’s it.  Not even Munkustrap gets named directly, and he’s still got his role as the sort-of narrator and introduction to the world of the Jellicles.  Of course, this is probably a minor grudge, as background characters can’t be as prevalent in a movie version without it going on longer than needed.  But, at least they’re still there, and still lend their charm to the setting, and perhaps in subsequent watches I’ll be able to see more of who everyone is and what they’re doing.

Still, leaving characters in the background also means leaving various character relationships behind, save for the main ones.  Demeter, who in the stage show is still an ensemble character (but an important one for the subplot of Macavity), has been downgraded to another of many minor characters; Cassandra now mostly fills the role of a forefront ensemble singer, and nobody really seems to have anything that connects one to another emotionally.  Basically it was like the relationships common to many of the productions were ret-conned or tossed altogether; the focus is on the main characters.  But again, another minor grievance, as it is a movie, and a separate production, and no production is canon...and we still have our imaginations to go on. X3

Also, personally, I disliked that they made Bombalurina evil.  On stage, though she’s presented as the “good-bad girl”, attractive and seductive, she’s still a beloved part of the ensemble, friend to quite a few of the queens, and protective in a sisterly way over Demeter.  “Macavity” is meant as a duet with the two warning the others of his malevolent deeds; in the movie, she’s not seen until nearly the end, and the song is sung in praise of him while helping him bring the Ball to a halt.  It was a good number, though, and the different take on the character probably had to be there plot-wise...but still, IMHO the character deserves better.

Plus, it’s no wonder why Munkustrap was thought boring by his actor; they didn’t really give him his “protector” role.  The fight with Macavity is taken out entirely.  Again, Munk as a character also deserves better.

Also, Jennyanydots deserves better. X3 She’s presented as a comedy-relief character, and honestly I think they tried a little too hard with that, along with Bustopher Jones; both of their segments were a tad cringey to me...but theirs were the only ones, really.  The music in them was still superb, it was just the way they were presented.  They could have probably just stuck Bustopher with the comic-relief role (as he is somewhat in the stage show), and that would’ve been sufficient.

I believe those were my only grievances.  Now let’s get to what I liked.

THE MUSIC, first of all.  STILL awesome.  I feel like, really, the movie kept in what made the stage show important...and as with musicals, that was keeping the tones of the beloved songs, from the overture at the beginning all the way to The Ad-dressing of Cats.  That plus the impressive dancing.  I could still catch some little bits of choreography from the stage show in them, although mainly it was all revamped for the movie...but they kept the music, so that’s the biggest point (though some were edited down a bit to make time for dialogue; understandable, still).  Skimbleshanks’ number has to be the most impressive, by far.

Adding to this, the new song, Beautiful Ghosts, written together by Lloyd Webber and Taylor Swift.  Wow. You can tell they made a song that would really fit into the show...it’s haunting and sad, and yet hopeful, and the more I listen to it with Victoria’s story in mind, the more I tear up. It’s brilliant.

The story, I also liked.  I admit, it has to be hard to try and make a plot out of a musical that has a fairly bare-bones presentation to it, and is mostly comprised of songs adapted from a poetry book about cats.  There are many ways they probably could have taken the plot, but they did it very well, in my opinion; plus they still kept the most important events from the stage show: Grizabella’s redemption arc, and Macavity’s trying to derail things, straight down to kidnapping Old Deuteronomy and her being brought back through Mistofelees’ magic; I love how that bit was presented, too.  He and the others are expecting a grandiose magic return, and instead it’s off-screen and softly sung, and as the music swells from solemn to joyous, you know it’s just as magical all the same.

I knew that Growltiger would make an appearance in this, but I didn’t realize he’d be made his own character, when in the play, he’s a character that Gus the Theater Cat played in the past...only the first few lines of his song was sung, too.  But at least they kept his appearance from the play, down to the “somewhat-missing” ear. X3 That bit was clever, I liked it.

Also, Victoria and Mistofelees are adorable as heck in this one, can’t lie.  XD

Speaking of the characters, the casting too is pretty great.  Robert Fairchild, I could see actually playing Munkustrap on stage.  He has the same cadence and comforting tone of voice and is a lovely singer. Sir Ian Mckellan, I couldn’t see anyone else playing Gus (he even has a very similar voice to the original 1981 cast member)...and Taylor Swift did make a good Bombalu, if in appearance and voice. X3  And of course we can’t forget Francesca Hayward’s performance as Victoria; hope to see her career expand.  Dame Judi Dench made a very regal Deuteronomy (and yes, the thought of a female Deut has grown on me), and it’s good to see that she got to be in Cats, knowing her history.  And as predicted, Idris Elba made a pretty sinister Macavity. X3

So, all in all?

This movie probably gets so many negative reviews from the general public, because most of the general public has never seen the musical, and really don’t know what to make of the adaptation. X3 This is definitely not for anyone who doesn’t like musical theater, let alone Cats...I feel that the movie was only made with the true fans in mind.  And that’s just fine; not everything has to cater to the public at large, because if you try to do that, it’s not really a passion project. Cats has always been unique, and still is, and there are people out there who very much appreciate the hard work that has been put into it.  The sets are phenomenal.  The CGI could use work, but for an experimental style, it was done pretty well (yes, it’s possible to get past the uncanny-valley looks of the characters, at least it was for me, because they didn’t bother me in the first place).  It shows that they tried hard to stay true to the spirit of the stage show, while also putting something completely new into it.  And I think they nailed the spirit, which is the important thing in an adaptation: the spirit.

There’s a few things that could be changed, namely in presentation overall...they could have used another director, to be honest...but the casting, the music, the dancing...heck, some of the designs...that’s all good.  Actually it’s funny to me to observe how easy it is to make a musical-type movie into a stage show, a-la The Lion King, but how hard it is to do it the other way around. XP

Would I watch it again?  Heck yes.  Buy the DVD?  Heck yes (especially once they’ve put out the full version).  Does it hold up to other productions?  No, but I didn’t expect it to; it’s a movie.  They took all the essential things and rebuilt it, simple as that.

And so, overall, I give the movie a score of 3.5 out of 5.  It’s not my canon, but it’s still good, and you can ignore the hell out of the reviewers, they’re all plebs. XD

Thank you, my dears!

[braincoins]

Saltine for Lance's incessant attempts at flirting with everyone lady-shaped, and especially Allura after she made it clear she wasn't interested, and for being weirdly possessive of her when Matt showed up.

HOOOOOOOOOOOO you gotta start with one of my “faves.” (Lance - and especially A//urance - stans, look away now.)

I can deal with Lance’s constant flirting with everything he could even vaguely maybe see as female - he’s a teenage boy, likely lacking in self-confidence and trying to find it in others, seeking validation in the form of (A) beating Keith in something, (B) getting a girlfriend or at least a kiss from a hot chick, or © both. It’s annoying, but if he’d grown out of it over time through the series - or if they’d taken some time to make it CLEAR that that’s what he’s doing, because the target demographic for this likely wouldn’t understand it otherwise - then I’d have been okay.

OMG Lance’s ultimate would have been if Keith were obviously crushing on a chick but then she kissed Lance instead. I think our poor blue boy would have died of sheer happiness right then. 

BUT LANCE AND ALLURA.

The constant hitting on her (badly) even when she showed clear disgust just… UGH. I couldn’t stand Lance for the longest time exactly because of that. 

And then, for a while, he stopped. He was just a really good support for her, and I was starting to get hopeful that maybe he’d realized what a complete and utter assjackal he was being and he was going to be her friend now. What a great development, right? What a great thing for young boys in the audience to see and take in! You can be friends with hot girls that you wanted to date! It can happen! You can just accept that she’s not into you that way and actually be her friend.

But what did we get instead? 

WE GOT VALIDATION OF THE FUCKING NICE GUY ™ BULLSHIT. 

What we got instead was, “Hey, guys, if you hit on a chick and she’s not interested, keep working her! If she’s still not responding, stop obviously hitting on her and instead pretend to be her friend and just wait because eventually she’ll come around and be your girlfriend just like you wanted!”

It makes me so… I can’t… there just aren’t words for how angry this makes me. It’s an insult to Lance and Allura. It’s an insult to A//urance fans - in my opinion. Given that I’m not one, maybe I’m biased. I know that if my ship became canon in this way, I’d be crying in disappointment. Just thinking about it is making me tear up a little.

It’s part of the reason I started getting into Plance, because the way it is in VLD canon? Lance can be friends with Pidge because he’s not attracted to her. But he can’t really be friends with Allura because he’s really just supporting her and being nice to her in the hopes of eventually getting in her pants. AND THAT BULLSHIT IS HORRIFYING. Hell, it even insults Pidge, and supposedly she was LM’s “favorite.” I’m not sure LM or JDS actually know anything about “favorites” because they were like, “Nah, man, no one’s going to like our 6 foot walking beefcake with the anime hair, metal arm, and cool scar. He’s compassionate, brave, strong without being a bully, and a great leader, but all of our fans will be SUPER GLAD to see him go.” So I’m pretty sure when LM said Pidge was her favorite, she just meant, “She’s the only one I can identify with because she’s the only white female in the group, so I’ll just choose her.”

And Lance being possessive of Allura… like, that level of possessiveness is already creepy af if they were in a relationship. You should trust your partner enough that, when some random guy (Matt) flirts with her, she’ll reject his advances. But when you add in the fact that they’re (supposedly) only friends at that point, it’s a whole new level of “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE WRITING HERE AND WHY ARE YOU PRESENTING IT AS OKAY?!” Hell, that scene was played for comedy. Matt’s over-the-top reaction to Allura as comedy, yeah, sure, okay. (Honestly, I don’t know why more people in the series don’t react that way to Allura. Or Shiro, for that matter.) But Lance’s reaction is the comedy counterpoint there and that is in NO WAY something to laugh at. 

LM and JDS made Lance a fucking sleazeball nice guy. Just fucking give him a trilby that he calls a fedora and have him refer to Allura as “m’lady” all the time. If you’d done that from the outset, no one would have wasted their time liking him, loving him, growing attached to him and wanting the best for him only to find out that his own creators fucking hate him AND all his fans.

[let-it-raines]

Based on the real life girl that lost her boyfriend at Epcot. Emma loses Killian at a theme part and tries calling him, but his phone is dead. So she's forced to turn to social media to find him, and a real life where's waldo comedy ensues!

So, anyone up for a new addition to Single Riders Won’t Stay Single? You totally don’t have to have read this ridiculous universe to understand this, but if you want to, the entire thing can be found | Here | or | Here | 

I hope you guys, enjoy! It was kind of fun to get back into the humor of this story! 

“Okay, so what are the rules, guys?” she asks as Killian drives them into the park. She knows that they’re not listening, that Declan and Hope are too hyped up on adrenaline for their first trip to Disney World after literal years (according to Declan as he so eloquently puts it every single time they talk about it) of anticipation. She’s not necessarily thrilled over the trip, personally partial to Universal herself, but as she’s learned, her kids don’t exactly care when or how mommy and daddy met. They literally only care about the fact that they’re going to Disney World, which is all Declan has talked about since his friend Jackson went over summer break last year and couldn’t stop talking about it. Seriously, the kid can work in Mickey Mouse in a conversation about politics. He’s eight. He’s not talking about politics. But he could still work it in. She’d bet good money on it.At least she as Ada to talk to about how she and Killian met. She’s two and can’t do anything about Emma blabbering to her, but that’s the beauty of having a toddler. The again, Ada definitely doesn’t care how she and Killian met, so maybe all she does have is Killian. But that’s okay with her. There’s no one else she’d rather talk about that story with, even if she does think it’s a story good enough to share with anyone with ears, Mickey Mouse or otherwise. Seriously, she could write a movie or something about parts of her life they’re so insane. Who the hell meets their husband because they’re standing in the single riders’ line for the Hulk rollercoaster? No one. Absolutely no one. It’s insane.

Maybe she should write the people at Marvel and ask them if she could be in one of their movies. That would probably make her kids pay attention to her. And, you know, it would probably mean she wouldn’t have to keep working as a bail bonds person. That’s not exactly a convenient job to have when you have three kids and your husband doesn’t work normal hours either. At least she can get away with doing research for others at work instead of having to go out into the field herself. There’s only so much she can do while balancing so many different aspects of her life.

They should have gone somewhere more relaxing for winter break. They should have gone somewhere and with just she and Killian, the kids staying behind with Mary Margaret. Maybe a beach. It definitely should have been a beach. And her phone could be thrown into the ocean or something. She doesn’t think Verizon covers you if you willingly throw your phone in the ocean. She didn’t check when they switched over to them last month.

What they don’t know won’t hurt them. It might hurt her though. She kind of needs her phone to live. That sounds dramatic, but it’s true. She needs her phone to be able to get in touch with Killian and to make sure she knows where all of her children are at any given time. They can all run like crazy, so it’s kind of hard to keep up with them. Hence why she’s trying to have this conversation. “Hey,” Killian says, his voice loud enough to reach over their talking, “listen to Mum, guys. We don’t go inside unless we listen to Mum.”“Sorry,” they both shamefully admit, looking at her with sheepish yet still happy faces. “It’s okay, guys,” she smiles, looking in the backseat at the smiles on their faces, mouse ears on all three of their heads. They’d insisted on mouse ears, and Killian being Killian, bought each of them the one they wanted even before they got to the park. Declan’s just got on a normal pair, but Hope is all decked out in one covered in sequins while Ada has an actual bow, the ears hurting her head so they compromised. Hope was not happy about it. This is all insane. So insane. She needs a new word. “I know that you’re excited, but this is a very big place with lots of people. And it’s very important to me that at all times you’re either holding onto my hand or daddy’s hand, okay?”“Okay, but what about Ada?”“What about her, baby?”“Is she going to hold onto your hand the whole time?”“Yeah,” Ada giggles, and everyone looks at her as she reaches her hand out to Hope, trying to hold her hand. “I hold your hand.”Killian chuckles and she reaches her hand over to grasp his forehand, her heart swelling at how sweet her kids are. They’re definitely going to have a meltdown at some point today, but right now they’re sweet. “That’s so good Ada, but you’re going to sit in a stroller. She’s going to sit in a stroller, but if she’s walking around, she’ll hold onto one of our hands, okay?”“Okay. When do we get to see Mickey?”“This afternoon,” Killian answers vaguely before they’re pulling into the parking lot of the Magic Kingdom. Killian had wanted to do Epcot simply for the alcohol, but that’s not really going to fly with the kids. They’re definitely more interested in seeing the rides based off of their favorite movies.

The beach vacation with just them is sounding better and better. She’d even wear one of those awful t-shirts that say “Life’s a Beach” if it meant she got to go. Most of the time she’s kind of thinking that life’s a bitch…okay, most of the time is an exaggeration. She’s just remembering how much it’s costing for all of them to get into this place today.

It’s a lot.

It also takes longer than she expected to get up to the front gate, having to take a trolley from the parking lot, but with much squirming and squealing and actual wrangling, they’re inside and mixed among thousands of other people walking down Main Street. She’s got a tight hold on Declan’s hand while Killian holds onto the other two, and even though it’s loud, surprisingly hot for January, and crowded, she can feel a bit of excitement running through her veins. The look on her kids’ faces, though, they’re priceless.

Okay, so maybe not priceless. She was just thinking about how expensive it was for them to get in here, but she’s totally got to put that behind her and just enjoy the day and the fact that every single on her kids cannot stop talking about the giant castle in front of them or the fact that everything looks like it’s been taken out of their favorite movies. And technically it has, but to them, it’s kind of like they’re getting to be a part of it all.

To be a kid and to get lost in the magic of it all.

They’re not at all interested in Tomorrowland until they see the Toy Story ride, and their day pretty much starts off with them spending their time in a line. It’s air conditioned though. She lives in Massachusetts. It’s never this hot in October there, but it’s got to be at least ninety degrees here. Florida is ridiculous.

(Florida really is, though. Every weird news story comes from Florida.)

Why is she acting like she’s never done this before? She loves going to amusement parks. This is going to a fun trip, and she’s going to enjoy it with her family by shooting at these little monsters from Toy Story.

“You’ve got a friend in me,” Killian whispers in her ear, the scruff brushing against her lobe and making a shiver run down her spine.

“To infinity and beyond or whatever,” she teases as she pecks his cheek.

“And you say I’m cheesy.”

“You are. Also, Declan and I are totally going to beat you guys when we go through this.”“That’s a challenge then, love?”

“Most definitely.”If she does say so herself, she beats Killian’s ass at the ride, and she’s totally going to use that as a bragging right for the rest of the day. Or at least quietly because Killian was on the same team as Ada and Hope, and she may be rude sometimes, but she’s not about to boast about beating her children…in front of her children. She can do that in secret.

After they wander around a little more, Killian going on a small rollercoaster with Declan and Hope, they start wandering to find the Little Mermaid ride. Ada’s been really into that movie lately, and while this trip is really more for her older siblings, she should at least be able to get to do something she likes. It’s kind of hard to find things for a two-year-old, but she’s trying.

She’s also trying to find out how to get to the dang ride. There are maps everywhere, but with people crowding around them, the park becoming fuller and fuller as time passes, everything is a bit more difficult, especially when they wander into Fantasyland (She knew the damn mermaid ride existed somewhere. It’s not like Ariel is from Atlantis.) and the entire place is packed with people dressed up in costumes that all look exactly the same. Did they all buy these costumes here? Is that what’s happened? She’s pretty sure that she read about there being some kind of beauty shop here that will do that for the kids. How has everyone already had time to go there? It’s still early.

“Hey, babe,” she starts twisting to the side to look for Killian only for him to not be there. She stops in her tracks, turning around to try to find her husband while people yell at her for stopping the flow of traffic. She can’t find him, and the moment she realizes that, her heart quickly pounds in her chest as she checks to make sure that she has all of her kids. Declan’s hand is still in hers, Ada is still in the stroller, and when she looks to her left Hope is walking just up ahead of her. “Hope,” she calls, speeding up to grab onto the back of her jumper. “Hope, baby, come here.”

“What?” she laughs, smiling up at her as she pulls her daughter back into her side.

“Where’s daddy?”

“Um, I don’t know. He told me to come find you.”

Well shit.

Shoot.

No, she’s thinking in her head. She can think shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Shoot.

“Okay, come here,” she sighs, taking a deep breath and making sure she’s got everyone while her eyes continue to glance around for Killian. She doesn’t see him anywhere. This is so not good. “We’re going to get a snack at –  ” She looks around the park until she sees the Cheshire Café. Seriously? The Cheshire Café? That thing is creepy. Why would anyone want to eat from there? The cat in the movie always kind of looks like it wants to eat Alice. “We’re just going to get something to eat while I call your dad.”“Where is Dad?”

“I have no idea.”

She orders them all food, miraculously finding an empty table near the restaurant, and she sets them all up before calling Killian. Their faces are already so red despite the sunscreen they applied, and it’s just…they need more. She and Killian are not really tan most of the time, and their poor kids are the same way. She’s got so much sunscreen in her bag. She’s pretty sure she bought out all of Target before they came here.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” she mutters as she listens to his phone dial ring only for it to disconnect before the voicemail picks up. “What the hell?”

“That’s a bad word, Mommy,” Declan points out.

Crap. She said that one out loud. And now she’s thinking in terms of crap instead of shit. Someone should really have come up with better curse words and substitutes for curse words. These are…not good. Killian knows a million random words that no one else knows, so he could probably help out in this dilemma that isn’t actually a dilemma.

A dilemma, Emma.

That kind of rhymes or goes together or whatever.

Nope. No. she needs to focus.

“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

She dials Killian’s number three more times, but each time his phone goes to voicemail. He’s either ignoring her and ending the calls immediately or his phone is dead. She’s not sure which one would piss her off more. How in the world can his phone be dead? Just how? The man is the most meticulous person she’s ever met, and she knows how he charges his phone every single night.

Where the hell is he?

She’s lost her husband in the middle of Disney World. If a kid gets lost, amusement parks have sections for that, but what do they do for men in their mid-forties? Probably nothing because who loses an adult?

She does. She loses an adult.

“Where’s Daddy?” Declan asks as he pops a piece of popcorn in his mouth. “I’m not sure. Hope, when did you last see him?”She shrugs, her mouth covered in purple icing from the cookie she’s eating. Did Emma even buy a cookie? She’s not entirely sure that she did. Oh God, she hopes her kids didn’t steal a cookie. This isn’t even the right place for the Cookie Monster. Does the Cookie Monster steal cookies? Does this even matter?

“I don’t know. He was there and then he wasn’t. Can I get another cookie?”

“No, just one before we eat lunch. And drink some water please.”

“Daddy has the bottle.”

“Of course he does,” she sighs, hanging her head a bit. “Give me a few minutes, and I’ll get you guys a water.”

Emma: Where are you?

Emma: Answer your phone.

Emma: Seriously, Killian. Answer the damn phone.

Emma: We’re sitting by the little Cheshire Cat Café thing if you’re looking for us.

Emma: I really hope you’re looking for us.

The more minutes that tick by, the more she begins to worry. Like, really worry. She wants to go look for him. She knows she could probably find him that way. Hell, her entire job is finding people. But she knows her best chance is staying her and hoping that he finds them. She really needs him to find them. That need grows more and more the longer they stay sitting at this table, all of her kids becoming restless and needing to be able to move around and go on all of the rides that they’re watching pass by.

The so-called happiest place on earth isn’t feeling too happy right now.

It’s kind of feeling like the crappiest place on earth.

Okay, so that was bad even for her. She is not meant to work in advertising.

She doesn’t know what to do. She’s in a huge place filled with thousands of people with no way to communicate with Killian. Does Ariel have some kind of shell phone she could use? No, no. the jokes are bad even in her own head. She needs to stop.

She needs Killian to show up. How the hell did she lose a fully grown man?

Her gaze stays between her phone, her kids, and the crowd, and after about twenty minutes of sitting at the table, a Facebook notification pops up on her phone. She never really uses it, but she’s been in this Disney group for tips and tricks about how to save money and make the best of your trip. It hasn’t really been helpful, but she might as well try this. Desperate times call for desperate measures or whatever.

Emma Jones: This is going to sound odd, but I’m looking for my husband in the Magic Kingdom. His phone is dead, and he somehow got separated from our family. Here’s a picture of us from today, so he’s wearing this outfit. He’s British, if that helps. If anyone sees him, can you send him to Fantasyland and to the Cheshire Café? Thank you.

“Oh my God,” she mutters underneath her breath as she messes with her sweater, “this has got to be the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever had to do.”

“Where’s Daddy?” Declan asks again, and she turns her focus back to her kids.

“I don’t know,” she answers honestly, shrugging her shoulders before she brings Ada into her lap. “But I’m sure we’ll find him, okay?”

“Do we have to wait for him for the rides?”

“Um,” she hums, not really sure what to say as her phone buzzes on the table, “yeah.” When all of their lips start quivering, the meltdowns coming, she has to quickly respond before she’s both lost her husband, her mind, and all sense of control. “At least for a little while, and then we’ll go on the Little Mermaid ride, okay? If Daddy doesn’t show up today, we’ll just have to ride things without him and tomorrow he can come with us.”

Hope literally groans before she throws her face down on the table, only peeking her eye up to give Emma an evil eye that will never not chill Emma down to her bones. She’s got some crafty kids who can be kind of terrifying.

Her phone keeps going off on the table, so she picks it up only to see notifications filling her screen, every one of them from Facebook and none from Killian.

(And none for you, Glen Coco.)

Gregory Hart: How do you lose a grown man? Oliver Judson: This guy was my professor at Harvard, and he’s lost in Disney World. Lmfao. Isabella Santiago: He was mine too! Super hot. I’m pretty sure I showed up to class just to look at him. I almost failed. Lol. Beth Johansson: What does it say about Harvard that their professors can’t keep up with their families? Shameful. Jake Smith: I think I saw him in the Frontierland section, but I don’t know. There’s a lot of guys dressed like him. Blue jeans and a button up are not exactly distinctive. Should have worn a Hawaiian shirt or something.

Sylar Ng: Okay, time to place bets. Where do you think this guy actually is?

Exploring the hall of Presidents? He’s a professor, so probably pretty boring.

With another woman?

With another man?

In line for Space Mountain?

Stuck on It’s a Small World so he’s about ready to pull his hair out?

Eating Dole Whip?

Back at the hotel to catch a nap without his kids? Hannah Hoistler: Have you ever considered this to be a good thing? You can get in the single riders line? That’s like a fast pass to freedom.

Hannah Hoistler: Oh wait. Forgot about the kids. Never mind. Emma Jones: that’s funny because that’s actually how we met, so while I’m very fond of the single riders line, I do like riding my husband. Emma Jones: *with my husbandEmma Jones: I like riding him, but that’s not anyone’s business. Anyways, someone please help me find my husband.

Yeah, she’s officially gone crazy if she’s spending her time talking about her sex life with complete strangers online. Strangers who aren’t exactly helping her find Killian. All of the responses are a little insane, but they’re hilarious. And as stressed as she is right now, this is making her laugh.

“Mom,” Declan groans, “we’re never going to go on any rides if we just sit here all day.”

She looks at her son, looks at the desperation in his eyes, and really, she can’t keep them sitting her. She just can’t. Killian is a grown man lost in Disney World. It’s not like he’s been kidnapped by Mickey Mouse or something. He’ll figure things out, and she’ll just hope that someone finds him or that they miraculously run into each other in a line or something. It’s happened before, so there’s no reason it can’t happen again.

It’s probably not going to happen again.

“You’re right, kid. Let’s go.”

It’s basically a mad dash to all of the rides and shows from there, even if they end up having to stand in the lines for a little while, even with their fast passes. But her kids’ anticipation for everything is insane, and with the renewed energy they got from the sugar she just fed them (probably not the best move on her part), they don’t mind waiting, especially as they talk to other kids around them about the movies and rides and about just how big Cinderella’s Castle is. Of course, just because Declan and Hope are excited, that doesn’t really mean much about Ada. She conks out around three, and it’s kind of difficult to balance a sleeping toddler in a deeper sleep than Aurora and two kids who could climb Rapunzel’s tower without any kind of assistance from the giant rope of hair or a magic carpet ride or something.

But she makes it work. She’s never had to parent alone outside of their usual activities, kind of hopes that she never has to do it again, but after she gets used to it, she kind of masters it. No, she definitely masters it. And they have a fantastic day full of far too much food all of the rides her kids can imagine until they’re watching a parade on Main Street with ice cream in their hands and their feet all tired from moving around the park all day.

Seriously, she probably burned off all the calories.

Her phone has been going off all day, and while no one has found Killian, her post has apparently been shared over a thousand times, and even without her telling their friends what’s happened, they’ve shared it too. Liam is having a field day with it all.

“Swan,” a familiar voice calls, and her head whips to the side so quickly that it hurts. But then she sees Killian moving through the crowd, his hair sticking up like he’s been worriedly running his hand through it, and she’s not sure if she wants to smile at him or slap him. “Oh, my love,” he sighs when he gets to her, immediately squatting down and kissing all of his children’s cheeks before he slants his lips over hers, “where have you all been? I couldn’t find you.”

“You’re in trouble, Daddy,” Hope sighs, her eyes never leaving the parade.

“Am I now?” he asks her, his eyes filled with worry and his cheeks tinted red. She bets that he didn’t reapply his sunscreen.

Wow, she really is such a mom, even if she fully believes everyone should protect their skin.

“Where the hell did you go?”

“I don’t – I don’t know. My phone fell out of my pocket when we were walking, and I sent Hope up to you while I turned around to get it. It’s absolutely shattered. I’ve spent all day talking to the people in the front office and then looking in every damn section of this park.”

“That’s a bad word.”

Her kids are really into pointing out cursing today, and she’s not sure if she’s proud of it or annoyed by it.

“I know, bud, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry, love,” he whispers to her before kissing her once again. His lips taste like chocolate, and she knows he must have been eating a lot today too. He eats when he’s stressed, which she finds weirdly endearing. “I tried calling on an office phone, but you got the new number when we switched carriers last month and I don’t…”

“You don’t know my number?” She slaps his shoulder before shaking her head. “Oh my God.”

“I know, I know. And I literally…I haven’t memorized another number besides yours in eight years.”

Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. They obviously need to stop coming to amusement parks. Or at least know each other’s numbers. She doesn’t know Killian’s new one either, but she isn’t about to tell him that right now.

Probably not ever. She’ll memorize it later, and he’ll never have to know.

“So after today” she sighs, scooting over and allowing him to sit down in the cramped space next to her before Ada crawls into his lap, immediately snuggling into his chest like the daddy’s girl she is, “I’m kind of thinking that this morning I should have told you to always hold my hand so you don’t get lost.”

“I mean, what makes you think this wasn’t an elaborate plan just so I could hold your hand?” he laughs before he twines their fingers together, the float with all of the Aladdin characters going by singing a Whole New World. There’s a pun there. She just knows it. She’s also just too tired to think of it.

“Because that would be pathetic.” She squeezes his fingers before bringing his knuckles up to her lips, kissing right over his wedding band. “Also, they’ve had a lot of sugar today. You can be in charge of bedtime.”

“I would expect nothing less.”

“And, by the way, you’re internet famous today.”

He quirks a brow. “What now?”

“I’ll tell you about it later, babe. Let’s just enjoy the parade.”

He squeezes her hand before leaning over to whisper in her ear, “I will always find you.”

“I know, but your efficiency needs work.”

[bozojesus]

   so i finally watched 3 from h.ell and...

   i really liked it actually 

  i missed cutter terribly, of course, but not to the point where it ruined the movie. they do kind of rush through the segment about his execution at the beginning, but there’s a scene where otis & baby talk about him during the third act that was very sweet and actually made me tear up. it’s obvious that the characters haven’t forgotten him; he’s just a very painful subject and that’s understandable, considering how much he meant to them. otis in particular sounded ready to cry when talking about him. shocker, right?

   that said !! cutter very very clearly lives on through baby. i really loved how she was developed in this one and she stole every scene she was in. i thought sheri’s acting was solid throughout the movie - even when she was going really over-the-top during the first forty or so minutes, i still bought it, and while baby remains a terrible person, i thought 3FH humanized her a lot more than TDR did. most of her kills are pretty quick ( though she still relishes in them, of course ) rather than the drawn out sadism & mental torture from the first two movies. her emotional journey reminded me so strongly of her dad’s in the sense she has this aimlessness about her, like she no longer knows what to do with herself or what her place is or what she wants. she even goes so far as to question otis about why they even do what they do, which leads to otis questioning their lifestyle himself to some degree. maybe i’m reading into it wrong, or maybe other fans will read his reaction differently, but his response to baby almost seemed like one of resignation. death, violence & destruction is what they’re used to. it’s simply what they’re meant to do - what else is there for them? i’ve always believed that’s a thought that had already crossed cutter’s mind - that he is simply meant to destroy, so he might as well continue to destroy. it was interesting to see otis & baby starting to get to that point now that they’re older. kind of feels like everything’s coming full circle, in that sense.

   as for otis himself, it really seemed like he was just kind of ?? going through the motions. don’t get me wrong, he’s still a sick, thoroughly evil man, but he lacks a lot of the relish he used to have. this time around it felt more like he was following a routine than carrying out these horrendous deeds because he believed them to be his not-so-divine purpose ( or whatever the hell goes on in his head ). he still goes on his usual misanthropic rants, but does he actually believe them anymore, or is he just saying them because that’s what’s expected of him at this point? it’s hard to discern.

   ri.chard brake did a really nice job as foxy. he was appropriately gross & despicable when the movie called for it while still having a certain charm about him. there were moments where i shuddered at his behaviour; other times i found him very endearing and Almost Sweet ( you can definitely tell he was meant to be cutter’s replacement because that was essentially cutter’s role in the last one ). he isn’t as fleshed-out as he could’ve been, no, but for a last-minute addition to the cast? he’s totally fine. he isn’t grating at all. i liked him! i’d be really okay with seeing him again and while no one can replace cutter, i think foxy’s presence helps fill what would’ve been a very sad & lonely void. he and baby basically take turns acting as the comedy relief of the movie with the occasional sarcastic jab from otis. i thought it worked well.

   as for the other characters... sebastian was adorable. by far my favourite new addition to the squad. he played a huge role in the humanization of baby and it was so, so nice to see a character in this series who’s a genuinely kind person and not a total piece of shit. i really hope rob will write more characters like him in future movies because i think he underestimates how important it is to have them around in media like the firefly family series. they keep things from getting too bleak. warden harper’s wife judy was great, but really under-utilized. i thought the guard greta’s storyline had potential but it sadly didn’t go anywhere, which is a shame. warden harper himself is appropriately scummy, but i felt rob... could’ve went a little further with him? i felt he should’ve gone all-out and really made us hate the guy, if that was supposed to be his purpose. i feel like the home invasion scene should’ve been Earned. that was by far my least favourite sequence of the movie and it just dragged on and on and on. 

   i also would’ve liked rob to have explored the concept of sensationalized serial killers in the media more and why this is a bad thing. it seemed like the opening of the movie was setting that up, but like greta and harper’s arcs, it just... did not go anywhere. i was really hoping we’d see how fame impacted otis, baby & cutter, and how their sensationalization affected pop culture in general, since they’ve been in the public eye for over a decade... but nope. we have some scenes where baby maniacally gushes over her supposed stardom, otis grouching about how they have to be careful in the public eye and a pretty funny joke from foxy where he tries to insist he’s the most recognizable of the bunch, but that’s about it.

   and like... could we not have had at least some reactions from them to 80s pop culture? the movie didn’t have to revolve around that, but it’s like... these guys are so heavily ingrained in 70s aesthetic & they’ve been locked up for 10 years, pretty much shut off from the rest of the world. you’d think we’d at least get some quips from otis about how music has gone down the shitter or something like that, but nope! nothing like that either. i suppose that’s something that’s gonna have to be saved for future 3FH threads instead.

   the dialogue wasn’t awful but some of the callbacks were a little Too obvious for my taste. i liked the subtle ones, like where baby tells otis she has a “better idea” at the end when deciding what to do with aquarius and how otis is actually accepting her plan ( as opposed to otis’ “better idea” angering cutter in TDR ), and how otis tries to hype baby up with the “fucked up shit” line. but some of other stuff otis said? like the boogeyman shit at the beginning and the “murder factory” line when he’s killing harper? nah, that felt a bit forced and kind of uncreative on rob’s end. i think he could’ve done a bit better with that.

   overall, i thought the first forty minutes were a bit of a drag, but when the characters get to mexico things really kicked off and i found myself enjoying it and getting really into it. it’s definitely not TDR or Ho1KC, but it’s a fun ride in its own right. the one thing i do think it did better than TDR was - again - giving the characters some depth & dimension. we actually got to see emotional reactions from them & they’re given some quiet moments where they could just talk to each other and have fun outside of the disgusting torture shit ( which, thank god, this movie doesn’t linger on quite as much as the last one imo ). that’s something i felt like TDR lacked & i’m glad rob did that portion right this time around. 

   while it’s a flawed movie and the absence of my beloved clown is definitely felt, i really don’t think 3FH is this abysmal piece of shit that some people are making it out to be. i don’t think it’ll hold the same special place in my heart that the first two do, but i liked it. i’m very glad to have finally seen it and i’m hoping it’ll spark some new life into the fandom. you best believe i’ll be writing up cutter several 3FH verses in the future & am super eager to use this film as a basis of doing new stuff for him. 

[crystalelemental]

Character Analysis - Faye

I’m basically writing this as I go with the asks, so let’s compile.  Faye!  She’s a really, really disliked character in Fire Emblem!  I get it.  A lot of her dialogue is obnoxiously Alm-centric, and her support conversations are...oh boy are they not doing her any favors.  Despite all this, I still like Faye!  Because I guess it’s just some personal affectation that I must always like the generally disliked characters.  I will say though, that a lot of this is personal interpretation of Faye as a character.  None of this is inherently written into the canon, but I do think the game offers evidence that can substantiate what I’ll be saying.  Hopefully, you too can come away from this having at least a different outlook on Faye as a character.  But...well, I’m not gonna hold my breath.

Faye Sucks Okay, let’s get this out of the way: Faye seems like one of the most universally disliked characters in the series, and with damn good reason.  She’s the third in a line of characters born from IS not understanding Awakening’s success.  I’m serious, even as recent as the Three Houses interviews, they’ve stated they still do not know how Awakening did so well.  A lot of tropes established in Awakening carried over to subsequent games as a result, and one such trope is the “overwhelming devotion” character.  Tharja started the trend and was one of the most popular Awakening characters.  Camilla followed suit, and while she’s one of the most divisive characters in recent memory, she’s also got a huge fanbase, and won CYL3 in Heroes, so clearly doing something right.

Faye was the third use of the trope, and yet somehow, everyone hates her.  What the hell changed?  I’m gonna cut straight to the point: her supports did it.  It’s 100% because of her supports.  She only gets two, and they do not paint her in a flattering light at all.  Tharja had some fantastic supports, like the serious tone and getting to see positive sides of her with Libra, or the comedy with Frederick.  Camilla similarly has great supports, like her verbal smackdown to Niles, and her sweet interactions with Elise.  Camilla also benefits from being a prominent character in Conquest, giving her a lot more of the plot spotlight to develop.

By comparison, Faye gets exactly two support lines in the entire game - Alm and Silque - and has no story relevance at all after the party leaves Ram village.  Faye is given dramatically less time to explore her character, and it really, really hurts her.  So the next time someone says “Support conversations aren’t important,” just remember: they’re the difference between a Tharja or Camilla, and a Faye.  But hey, quality over quantity right?  Surely a few really good supports can salvage a character!

Faye does not have good supports.  In Silque’s, C and B support are entirely Faye rejecting Silque’s offers of friendship, largely pushing the narrative of disliking gossip and preferring to be near Alm to just talking about Alm.  She apologizes and tries to make up in the A-support, but damage already done.

In Alm’s supports, it’s arguably worse.  The first two are Faye pretty flippantly declaring that she’s ready to kill in Alm’s name, and it’s at a point where even Alm acknowledges that something’s off.  And Alm is a dense, dense boy.  If even he’s noticing, it’s bad.  Again, her A-support tries to tilt thing back, but for many, damage already done.

Based on these two being just about the only real dialogue or development that Faye gets the entire game, it’s not unfair to say that people’s dislike is well-founded.  There are tremendous problems with Faye’s character that largely come about as the result of limited supports and the writing not working in her favor.  That said, I wouldn’t be writing this if I were just going to say “They’re right, Faye sucks, moving on.”  I’m here to argue that Faye’s A-supports, and one particularly well-hidden piece of dialogue that I only found out about recently, do make the case for Faye being more compelling than she initially seems.

The A-Supports Let’s start with Alm’s.  In Alm’s A-support, Faye approaches him and tells him about her dream.  Faye dreams often that, when the war is over, Alm will return with her to Ram village, and they’ll live a quiet life never having to fight another battle ever again.  For the first time, Alm finally comes forward and says no, that’s not going to happen.  He’s very direct about acknowledging how Faye feels about him, and that he doesn’t feel that way toward her.

Surprisingly, she takes it.  Faye’s a bit self-depreciating here, stating that she had hoped that something would change if she continued to fight by his side, but should’ve known better.  She states that she’ll be able to move on, but while they’re adventuring, wants to keep her feelings for him, “at least until we part ways.”  Which I think is fair.  You don’t just snap to getting over someone, especially while they’re still close.  Faye takes the rejection really well, which is something I really don’t think she gets enough credit for.  “It’s because the ending card-” no.  All of those are stupid and non-canon.  If you honestly expect me to believe that Mathilda gave up being the best knight to be just Clive’s wife, or that Sonya went off and became a witch despite witches being the direct product of Duma’s power and Duma being dead by the point she goes off, you’re crazy.  The ending cards have no basis in canon, in this or any other game.  Canas died to a blizzard my ass...

Anyway, the other important part of this is that Faye’s dream is specifically going back to the village and never fighting.  Fighting is not something she enjoys.  Despite her apparent zeal during the C and B-supports with Alm, she wants nothing more than to stop fighting altogether and live quietly.  This seems contradictory now, but hopefully I’ll be able to make sense of it later after exploring the remainder of her dialogue.

For Silque’s A-support, Faye apologizes to Silque and states that she missed her company when Silque finally backed off.  They start to hit it off, and Faye expresses that she’s still not interested in gossip, but she would like to know more about Silque herself.

This is small, but I think very informative for what Faye values.  She likes people.  Not initially, mind.  She’s very hesitant to get to know Silque, for reasons I’ll get into later, but once Silque’s been established as just a part of the group, Faye warms up and wants to get to know her better as a person.  Silque’s offers of “talk not meant for the ears of men” and talking about Faye’s interest in Alm aren’t important, and never were.  That’s not what Faye’s about.  She just wants to get to know Silque personally, once she’s comfortable with her.  Which I think is telling.  Faye’s reserved around people, but once comfortable, is really driven by those personal bonds she has.  She cares about the people in her life as people, but is very hesitant to established new bonds.  I think, for two reasons.

Faye and Celica But first, we need to talk about the hidden dialogue I mentioned.  Did you know that Alm can reject Faye’s offer to join his army, and that you can talk to her with Celica?  Yeah, me either until like three days ago.  Never would’ve crossed my mind to try this.  I didn’t even think about having Celica go back through Alm’s areas, but yeah, of course you can.  You learn some good stuff if you do, too, but we’re focusing on Faye right now.

So, with everything you know about Faye, and all the negative perceptions around her, let’s play a guessing game for those who don’t know the answer already.  Alm and Celica are basically the destined pairing.  Even as kids, Alm started playing more with Celica than his friends.  Faye has a crush on Alm, and even as a child, recognized Celica as a romantic rival.  And Faye, who is often labeled a yandere because of the “killing in your name” bit, is now brought face to face with Celia, who has returned after years of being away.  How does Faye react to seeing Celica again?  My guess was terrible.  I actually dreaded any Faye/Celica interactions in canon, because despite my own interpretations of Faye, it seems obvious they’d play up the jealous yandere aspect.

“Oh, Celica!  You’re back!  Gosh, how long has it been?  I’ve missed you so much!”  That...is not the reaction of a yandere.  Yes, I’m saying Faye doesn’t really count as a yandere.  Yandere comes with the specifics of active violence and harm toward romantic rivals as well, and Faye’s downright happy to see Celica.

This dialogue made me so happy, because I feel like it’s stronger evidence for what I’ve been saying: Faye is people-driven.  Even though she loves Alm, and Celica is a rival for that affection, she holds absolutely no animosity toward Celica at all and treats her like a close, personal friend.  Because they are friends.  They were friends years ago and that still holds true now.

Faye goes on to talk about how Alm left her behind and went off with the Deliverance, and how at first, she thought about chasing after him but decided against, expressing she’d probably be killed if she adventured on her own.  But when she realizes Celica is also on a journey, she excitedly asks to go with.

Now, much like Alm, Celica has a choice at the end of their dialogue.  Recruit Faye?  If you recruit her, that’s it.  That is the last thing you will ever hear from Faye.  Yes, it bothers me a lot too.  No hidden support conversations, IS?  Come on.  This would’ve been perfect.  It is worth noting that Faye is willing to go with Celica at all.  If Faye’s motivation is solely on following or being with Alm, why would she agree to go with Celica?  I’d argue it’s because she’s not fighting for just Alm.  That becomes a centerpiece of her fixation when she’s with him, but Faye fights for more than just him.  More on that later.

The interesting thing is when Celica rejects Faye too.  See, when Alm does it, Faye’s response is almost playful, as if she doesn’t expect him to stick to that answer.  “I guess I’ll just...stay here and be...sad...forever.”  Not exactly the heavy dialogue you’d expect from rejection.  It’s almost like she disbelieves.  But then he does leave, and Celica finds her in the village instead.  If Celica also rejects Faye’s aid?  “R-really?  Oh.  I suppose it was foolish of me to ask something like that.”  She’s completely defeated.  Unlike the first time, this response carries a lot of sorrow in her voice.  Faye’s downright heartbroken over the second rejection, even though Alm’s should’ve stung worse.  Why?

Faye’s Motives I argue that Faye is a character whose primary motivation is in proving herself.  Both in Alm’s A-support and Celica’s rejection dialogue, Faye gets really harsh on herself, claiming she should know better than to expect that Alm would love her back, or that Celica would want her along on the journey.  Faye’s incredibly self-depreciating, and doesn’t seem to find much worth in her own abilities at all.  Hell, when it comes to combat, she’s so unsure of her ability that she’s not even sure she’d survive trying to chase after Alm.

Let’s run through some scenarios.  Suppose you’re Faye, someone whose entire focus is on your bonds with others.  Suddenly, everyone talks about leaving the village to go fight in a resistance army.  Everyone’s leaving.  All your friends, and the person you love.  They’re all just...going off, away from the quiet, happy life you’ve been living.  Now you make a choice: stay with your quiet life as the others leave, or go with to protect the people closest to you.

Scenario 1: you go with.  Alm accepts the invitation, and you’ve now joined up for constant military engagement, in order to protect your friends.  Along the way, the person you love, who’s always been close with your group of friends, starts taking up a leadership role and has no time for you anymore.  You never get to see him on a personal level, and all you ever do is fight.  Your motivation is attention and connection, and that’s being taken away amidst war.  How do you get that back?

Performance.  Those who do well in battle get recognition, and rise up the ranks the same way.  But you have no confidence in your own ability as a fighter.  You’re not sure you can win that recognition in battle.  So you follow up with the next best thing.  You literally beg to be acknowledged.  Watch me in battle, Alm.  I’m ready to fight for you, Alm.  You may not be able to succeed overall, but you can still get that recognition from the person who means the most.  But, what you want most hasn’t been addressed, and it’s not coming up.  After a while, you’re tired of fighting, and approaching the end of the journey.  It’s now or never, so you share your dream with him.  And he rejects it.  You knew it was coming.  You’ve been here this entire time, watching him drift further and further from you and your home, and you knew full well there was never any going back.  But you had to try.

Meanwhile, all through the campaign, more and more new faces get added in.  The first is Silque, who’s a bit chatty and gossipy, but seems nice and wants to talk to you.  But, your main ambition has been to go back to the village, and return to the life you once led.  Every step through this war sees that dream drift further and further away, as Alm takes up leadership, and even your friends become invested in the military life.  The more people added into this group, the more likely your inner circle gets pulled away.  So you push anyone new back.  You don’t want to make friends.  You don’t want them in your life, drawing everyone away, and ruining what should be your happy ending after the fighting.  You do your best to keep people away, but she’s also...the only one paying any attention to you.  She’s kind, and even in spite of your attempts to act stand-offish, she keeps coming back to check on you, to talk to you.  That’s more than anyone else is doing.  So when this person finally gives up, you realize...it’s lonely, not having anyone to talk to.  In spite of your efforts, your friends are already drifting apart, and you pushed away your chance at meeting someone new.  Now you’re going back to them, apologetic for being dismissive, and trying to get to know them because they’re right, you do need a friend.

Suddenly, all of Faye’s disconnected actions start to make sense.  Faye is someone marked by insecurity, and trying to compensate by making herself valuable.  She’s not even sure that’s working.  She doesn’t like to fight, and doesn’t think she’s all that good at it either.  But she tries, and frankly, probably fails.  She doesn’t excel at combat like Kliff would, and doesn’t have the same outgoing personality as Gray.  So she gets left behind, and is desperately trying to cling to the person who meant the most, to have hold of some kind of stability.

Scenario 2: Alm refuses to let Faye go with, and instead she’s recruited by Celica.  There isn’t much dialogue, in large part because this isn’t your friend group.  Your main desire of preserving the status quo is already ruined, and there’s no one left for you.  Suddenly, an old friend shows up, and is willing to take you along.  Same as before, you want to be useful.

But this time, Celica goes straight to where Alm is.  This is a perfect chance to meet up with Alm again, to demand joining his party, or even just refusing to continue to adventure with Celica at all.  But that doesn’t happen.  Celica and Alm leave on bad terms, but let’s be honest, Alm gave you an answer.  He doesn’t feel the same way, and may not even think you’d have practical use in a war.  Celica, though?  Celica brought you along.  She acknowledged you, and even though it’s been a while, she’s still your friend.  You can’t just leave her.

If Faye’s devotion were only to Alm, she’d likely ditch Celica in a heartbeat.  But as we’ve seen in her A-support, Faye is willing to take a clear rejection, even if it hurts.  When that rejection is delivered early, she stays in the village, until Celica recruits her.  And when Celica recruits her, now she’s wholly devoted to Celica’s cause instead.  She had the perfect opportunity to prove herself solely focused on Alm, and instead, she sticks with Celica.  That’s not the choice of someone only motivated by self-interest, and the love of one specific person.  Faye does love Alm, but at the end of the day, she’s just as attached to any of her other friends.  The intensity she has in her supports with Alm are a mixture of proximity to the object of her affections, and feeling like she’s getting left completely behind.  She wants nothing more than to stand out, to be important to other people the way they’re important to her, but in war, there’s no time for personal relationships, and she’s not an experienced fighter like the others.  She’s watching everything she wants crumble in front of her, and is downright desperate to preserve that sense of connection to her old life.  She joined this war to keep those bonds, and is keenly, uncomfortably aware that killing is part and parcel to the job she’s being asked to do.  She doesn’t want to be fighting, but this is the choice she’s had to make, and she’s going to carry it out.

Conclusions As I’ve stated many times before, all of this is me reading between the lines, and crafting the character in lieu of the support conversations she should’ve had.  I think the evidence is there to back me, though, and looking at her character through this lens, there’s an edge of tragedy to her character.  All she wants is to keep her peaceful life, and everything is working against her.  Her friends are scattering apart, risking their lives, and what she wants most is to see them safe and to come back home.  She’s willing to risk her own life for that goal, even though it’s something that cannot come to pass.

If you’ve read this far, hopefully it’s helped you appreciate Faye just a bit more, or at least got you thinking about your own interpretations of her actions and motives.  Thank you for reading, hopefully this kind of post doesn’t become a thing with me because oh god am I tired...

[believerindaydreams]

GBU rewatch followup

...cleaned up, readable version, now with fewer typos and after-the-fact commentary in parentheticals. 

things I am looking out for in particular:

- how to write trios 

- everything that Angel Eyes does (less than I thought, it turns out; I was bang on the money with “Animal Magnetism” having him only exist for Meaningful Moments)

- the state of Eastwood’s hair (with the hat you don’t really notice it except in the desert scenes, when it is Absurd)

- some of that sweet, sweet Morricone music because it’s the one part of the film that no amount of clever writing will adequately evoke and I love it to pieces (still true)

let’s do this thing then

like, the opening credits are pure stylish flair. That can’t be a book. It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect for what it is. has nothing to do with translation to a 70s au but that is entirely, utterly besides the point

Tuco’s “I have a gun in one hand and a dead chicken in the other” will never not make me laugh

SPAIN: specifically the Spanish landscape and how gorgeous it looks. it all sort of runs together, appropriation and reappropriation and Spain standing in for Mexico…oh hello Angel Eyes,  you look a lot more impressive than Tuco does. Nice entrance.

Also we don’t actually know at first that he’s The Bad? He’s just wandering into frame like he could be the Good cowboy or something, it’s not the music that tells you. It’s the way that the guy’s family respond to his presence and just Go without saying anything. Something about Angel def. invokes silence. No wonder he and Blondie get on.

…like, this whole scene where he’s like “I am going to enjoy your delicious soup but stare at you“ is actually hilarious? Like he’s def. got a sense of humour- it’s just that everybody looks subdued with Tuco in the picture.

There’s a very thin divide between the tension of comedy and the tension of “is he gonna kill me” and Angel Eyes just straddles all over that line.

I like you, Man Eating Soup. Too bad you gotta die now.

…yeah, I think my characterisation of “bounty hunter who keeps his given word but has no qualms” is bang on the money.

last time I didn’t notice how Lee’s voice shifts to being more amused when he’s about to do something incredibly violent. Or how great his voice was at all. Like that was clearly a mistake, he’s great.

Tuco! *hearts* With a trio of men surrounding him in a triangle. ‘m sure that’s thematic.

Clint sounds like Rowdy but more terse.

Oh hell I love the way that we get closeups on Tuco staring at things. I love characters who stare at things in general (cf. Stargate and a team who communicate by looks), and Leone delivers there.

“how much you worth now” and Tuco’s just lol I dunno.

oh Tuco you theatrical hooligan nobody believes your absurd accusations. also geez I couldn’t write that many swears if I spent all day over it.

That is a DAMN sexy wanted poster.

Forgot about Blondie calling Tuco “known at the rat” part. Hmm. I wonder what that’s about?

I always forget how choreographed the duo’s escapes are, like it’s not just shooting a rope, there’s a lot of effort that go into those.

you smug thing Clint. you smug thing. (I assume this was just one of his wry looks past the camera, as he does a lot).

does trans! Angel Eyes in the 70s smoke a pipe. Yes. Yes he does.

“even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel” oh Angel Eyes you has a crush. also a pretty good sense for a scam- are we meant to infer that Angel and Tuco used to play this game? (Also he has correctly assessed Blondie’s Divine Status or whatever it is that keeps him clear of disasters.) 

the way that Tuco jumps on the horse is just. pure sex appeal.

“sawed off runt” Blondie gets in 1 insult but it actually means something, as opposed to Tuco doing 10,000 for the sake of the audience

I see what you did there with putting “the good” on screen just after Blondie abandons Tuco to die horribly in  a desert. I see it.

yeah, I thought I remembered Tuco saving up all the really good insults for Spanish.

(now that I know that Eli’s from Brooklyn, I can’t *not* watch a performance of a deeply pissed off New Yorker who’s in this godsforsaken desert for the dosh but refuses to budge an inch on being a fast talking SOB. The rapid fire line deliveries for sure.)

had forgotten this bit about Angel slapping around a girl….

Aw, Tuco as soon as he finds water is A. drink some and B. play with it. awww you’re adorable Tuco

must go figure out what that thing Tuco wears on his hand is. also contemplate whether the 70s one wears braces.

yeah, like, “I got dumped so I’ll pull myself together and also drink this man’s crazy red liquor and take a hat cos I need a hat” that is peak Tuco right there.

no wait that wasn’t. What is is the exquisitely judged moment where he decides that the guy will probably want the liquor to drown his sorrows afterwards and leaves it.

I am very fond of the way that the war is presented as a disaster that is Happening but which none of the three leads give a __ about. The much maligned poster got that bang on the money.

everything looks so lived in, always, even though I assume they were building sets? Why can’t American westerns of the period look This Real, did they actually build houses or what

Blondie has vividly green eyes. Right then. Tuco’s are brown.

Tuco hires some backup to help him with Blondie. that’s…smart.

I think, actually, that Blodnie’s blue circle calico shirt is something he oughta wear in the 70s. It suits.

“your spurs” like a knight, ha. That’s a terrible gag, Blondie.

why is there so much blood on Tuco’s face. what was he doing to get banged up like that.

so he’s on a stool with a noose, with a gun pointed at him, and Blondie is still not acting like this is anything serious.

ohmigod I LOVE this bit with the cannon and the house collapsing. Hah. It seriously is like Blondie’s a force of nature though

Tuco tracks Blondie by favourite cigar stubs. Also smokes them after. Tempting to borrow that. (like they’re in bed together, Tuco steals his cigar, that kinda thing)

…is he. Is Tuco wearing flares in the 1860s. Yeah I think he is.

“I brought TWO guns” lol sure you did Tuco.

And Tuco winces when Shorty dies and is it like, two against one would make things too complex for him, or he’s mad that Blondie replaced him that fast, or what’s going on here that he let another man hang like that. Blondie doesn’t seem to mind much.

black horse = black car for Tuco.

Tuco mocking Blondie’s fair skin, like yeah there’s definitely a bit of a racial thing here.

“You’ll die. Very slowly, old friend.” also I have an umbrella ain’t it pretty

I think one of the reasons I glom on this film is because for all its length there is literally something happening every single minute. Like most films have dead time when I could, you know, breathe or something, but I haven’t stopped typing since I turned this on.

(the comedy sensibility there as well. You can’t have dead air when you’re writing comedy, things have to be leading somewhere. )

course at the moment the point is “look at this very big desert with two very small people in it”...here comes the whump. Clint sure knows how to lean into it.

sweet jesus Tuco with the sun behind you there you look like some kinda avenging 70s disco angel yourself. also the headband.

here comes the celestial music. here comes the cavalry. see, when Tuco gets into a mess he has to get out of it himself, but this is the second time that Divine Intervention has saved Blondie.

…gosh it’d be funny if that watch in the stagecoach was the Few Dollars More watch. I’m sure it ain’t.

Tuco’s not very good at interrogation. I’m sort of comforted by this, because it suggests he doesn’t do it very often.

when did Blondie get to the stagecoach. seriously when. (oh right it’s Leone. movement is a free action as long as it’s off camera)

that’s twice that Blondie’s called Tuco a rat though. what is about rats for Blondie.

maximum Clint hair fluff here. why do I have a thing for heroes with daft hair. tis daft.

I don’t think that New Mexico has goat skin waterbottles? Whereas they are all over the place in Spain. Hmm.

…okay, I have missed something. Why is Tuco wearing an eye patch now? Like, did he just look at Bill and say “that’s great I’m having that”. Anyway the way he forgets and shoves it up his face to look at the wall hanging is a hoot. (he keeps doing this like a kid playing pirates)

battle between “keeping on hat” and “oh I’m praying”- hat wins. Figures. 

Tuco still has a nasty cut on his face from before. Either this is very good continuity or Eli got hit by a brick during filming and it’s still healing. I honestly cannot tell.

Tuco genuinely doesn’t know nothing about Blondie’s past. Figures.

oh you *bastard* Tuco trying to exhort a deathbed confession. that’s probably his lowest moment in the whole movie actually- cos Blondie started it with the whole “let’s play who dumps who in the desert”

of course Blondie doesn’t fall for it. course he doesn’t. (I do wonder how much of this is Tuco wondering what Blondie will let him get away with.)

also there’s an implied passage of time during which Blondie thinks it’s hilarious to have Tuco fetch and carry for him. That tracks.

ohhhh and the Pablo scene like I have a lot of feels about this. mostly about the way that Tuco is genuinely happy to see Pablo and it all goes wrong, and I already write bits of this relationship into fics but aww…Pablo is genuinely disappointed. Tuco genuinely loves him.

(cannot tell whether Tuco shags a lot of girls or is angry with Pablo and wants him to think he shags a lot of girls. could go either way.)

BLONDIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS you creep

in which Tuco just straight-up makes up junk about his brother cos he has an audience. and Blondie goes along with it to the extent of giving him a cigar, and it’s- aw. actual partnership moment. for reals.

“god’s not on our side” yup, and maybe Blondie would have done something if he hadn’t been asleep? But I get the idea he’s happy to take cues from Tuco for improv. 

 Tuco’s “oh fuck” moment inf. relatable.

hello Angel. And our duo knows him, too.

…I, uh, honestly can’t figure out why Blondie thinks it’s a good move for Tuco to pretend to be Bill Carson. Like I honestly can’t see how they’d even think that was a thing to do unless they’d seen the movie up to this part. Like, Tuco and Blondie basically have to be plugged into the narrative to know to do anything here except keep their mouths shut and hope to get to Sad Hill at some point?

Angel Eyes is a practical bastard. Also a sergeant. heigh-ho.

these three definitely know each other and I can’t figure out how. What’s this friendship thing about? It is a mystery. (def Tuco and Angel have a past though. What kind?)

Also Tuco figures that Angel is gonna straight up poison him at first, so that couldn’t have been a wholly easy relationship.

…okay, I’ll have to have a scene where Tuco finally says “yes I think your being called Angel is a hoot”- it is, after all, Here.

Is it that Angel doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, or that it’s easier to fob off the trouble on somebody who does like it, or that he genuinely thinks that anyone less hefty than Wallace might not be able to shove around Tuco like this? mysteries.

I wonder what Blondie is thinking. The prison choir is the goddamn creepiest thing.

yeah, Blondie, you think you’re tough but I think you’d spill your guts out also if the alternative was gouging. That’s not Tuco being a coward, that’s just Angel Eyes treating the object of his crush/a stoic/the white guy better than Tuco. It’s not like there’s a Great Moral Principle at stake for Tuco not to talk or anything.

“We’re going for a ride” is like custom-built to be an Epic Catchphrase though.

…blood doesn’t puddle like that. Someone on production screwed up. (blood is always theatrical in this film. too red and technicolour.)

…where was I? Oh yes. Tuco’s now worth 3000 dollars and is proud of it.

And Wallace is enjoying hurting him. Wallace is exactly the type that Tuco doesn’t grok; hurt somebody because they hurt you, or because you’re mad at them, or they have something you want, but just for the sake of hurting, that I don’t think tracks for him.

(Tuco and Blondie’s scam sure has got around if Wallace knows it. I guess that could have been Angel who told him, but it’s…it’s more like this thing where everyone in the film knows things that were said on screen before? I’d have to do another watch to contemplate this, but the notion fascinates me.)

That “I can’t do it while you’re watching me” is almost cute. Like, obviously it’s a ploy to kill Wallace, but also, it’s cute.

Oh yes, the “we nearly killed Eli” scene”. Thank christ the man had a natural sense of self preservation.

Lots of people in this film wear sexy short cloaks. I love those. I want one of the trio to have on in the 70s, anachronistic or no- maybe Blondie? Dunno.

all three leads have a bit where they’re just spying on the other two. v. sexy.

I’d just like to note that as somebody who has infinite patience for wandering around deserted lonely locales, I love this desolation hotel scene.  

YES BATH SCENE, LOVE THE BATH SCENE

…dumping in all the nice bath salts cos he can. Completely undeterred by being a naked man in a bath facing a gun. continuing with the bath afterwards…

And also Blondie knows Tuco just by the gun. That’s not tracker smarts, that’s, um, divine inspiration.

kitten. Aw, you little kitten.

the way Blondie says “old friend” Angel Eyes actually suggests that it was Tuco who met Angel first.

“So that’s why you came to Tuco”. Yeah, I love mutually necessary relationships, and this one sure counts.

“I want that blond alive” yes we know Angel. We know.

“Were you gonna die alone” oh that IS shippy. 

sometimes Tuco crosses himself after a death, sometimes he doesn’t. there’s no apparent logic there.

the way that Blondie whistles and shoots a guy is max. cowboy aesthetic. also messed up.

Blondie seems cool with Tuco killing Angel. Okies.

(I guess he figures at this point that Angel will have to be waiting...)

I’d remembered the “it’s for you”. Had not remembered Tuco tearing up the paper after, but whatevers.

where does Tuco get all these hats. How? Does he just steal hats whenever he sees a new one?

Leone’s favourite trick of ‘things off camera don’t exist” is amazing. really it is. A whole army camp…

and really, this is all extra, they could just go ahead and have the cemetery duel now, but that’s not really the point.

Actually, Blondie does seem perfectly content to let Tuco do most of the talking when it needs to be done.

That whole bit with the liquor swigging- goes along with my notions of Blondie not actually being a very heavy drinker, Tuco being more enthusiastic. also I do like Tuco’s genuine “really?!” upon being told he could make colonel, like this is the first time somebody’s told him he could be something other than a priest or a bandit, and maybe he would have gone for it if he wasn’t hip deep into the 200,000 thing.

And the mutual Blondie/Tuco “this guy’s insane” looks they swap when the captain’s not looking at them, tis fab.

it’s so weird that nobody in this camp is talking…until they start yelling.

Tuco’s notion of avoiding getting killed by cannon fire is to hide as far out of frame as he can. Given how Leone framing works, this is maybe not so dumb.

it takes the entire civil war for Blondie to render a moral judgement, i. e. war is bad. I feel like he’s obscurely irritated that circumstances have forced him to profess an opinion about something.

Hang on, didn’t Blondie learn the name of the cemetery from Angel Eyes earlier? Does he actually need Tuco at this point?

Blondie next to a big case that says “explosives” is…uh, very Bugs Bunny.

…oh, yeah, it does help having a partner to blow up the bridge. Right.

it is genuinely fun, though, watching these two work as partners. They’re very practical when they want to be.

Tuco taking several minutes to gulp his way into telling Blondie his half of the secret is…interesting. Trusting. And I suspect probably saves his life later. Cos Tuco’s right and blowing up this bridge is dangerous and one of them could easily die…and he is, for once, actually doing his best to do right by his partner in a completely stupid and insane world.

lighting your cigar on the explosives is also very Bugs Bunny.

Blondie, just cos Tuco went to sleep with his arse in easy kicking position doesn’t mean you have to kick it. Also I wonder what Tuco’s whimpering there.

and the young soldier scene. I have notions about the utility of Useless But Kind Gestures that I’ve been ranting about in various 1984 postings for a while, and Blondie gets one here. Oughta contemplate that at length later.

oh look it’s the cemetery. Tuco throws away his map.

…and three minutes go clean out of my head, as they do, because the simple fact is that even with the grave name this is a ridiculous task - how do you find one grave in all five thousand? and Leone is covering for it with a mystical quasi-religious invocation to get Tuco to where we need him to be. Thing is, it works on me. Can’t talk sensibly about the Ecstasy, there is is.

The framing of Angel Eyes coming in is epic, I gotta say. First person. Have we had any first person all film?

…but Blondie, why were you having Tuco dig up Arch Stanton’s grave when it’s the wrong grave, unless you knew Angel was coming? He knows Angel’s coming is all I can think of.

also I think we’re being asked to assume that Blondie took Tuco’s gun while Tuco was asleep with his arse in the air, unloaded it, then put it back, and then kicked him awake. dang if that isn’t a sequence I would have enjoyed Leone committing to celluloid.

okay, so. Three-way.

Tuco’s thinking “if one of these people is gonna shoot me, it’s probably gonna be Angel. So I’ll shoot Angel, and Blondie probably shoots Angel too, and then we see where we are. if they both shoot me I’m dead anyway.”.

Angel Eyes, I bet, is just figuring he should get off a shot at the better shooter first, and he figures that’s Blondie.

Blondie knows who has a weapon, so he just has to spin this out and make it look good for Angel Eyes. Easy. I wonder what he would have done if it wasn’t, though?

(we aren’t ever gonna know are we)

I can’t tell who Angel Eyes is trying to shoot with his last shot. I assume it’s Blondie, but the framing makes it hard to tell?

Tuco, you hafta bring all that money back to civilisation, wrecking the bags doesn’t help there.

Ah yes. The noose. Where did Blondie even get a noose? Is it worthwhile asking the question?

I spent a long time the first time I watched this, genuinely wondering if Tuco was gonna get killed. (I didn’t want Blondie to kill him.) And I was genuinely unsure…until I realised that we were setting it up just like old times, and Blondie was gonna have to shoot him free because he always *had* shot him free, and was always going to, and it was a oroubous of a movie. Which is all the more so in the day of easy DVD rewatching.

which is not to say I didn’t quiver when Blondie levels the gun.

anyway after all he’s been through, I think Tuco’s entitled to shout that last line.

whew!

and some followups for the notes 

...yeah, it definitely makes more sense for Angel Eyes to be an old acquaintance of Tuco’s (unless you’re writing a fic where Blondie is a Weird Force of Nature and trying to reconcile two different people’s connection to him is a driving force of the plot, but I’ll remember this for the Animal Magnetism sequel).

I guess that Tuco is definitely pretending to be Bill Carson, but why? How does that help them? (I assume Blondie doesn’t see the whole torture-by-Angel Eyes coming...)

Yeah, I can see Angel Eyes as someone who’s perfected his gunslinger because his hand-to-hand isn’t so hot. Tuco’s the one who’d probably win in a straight bar brawl, but unfortunately for him that’s not the movie he’s in. 

[lbat1901]

2019 Review

I’ve never posted an end year review on Tumblr. I only post on either Facebook and DA, buuuuut it’s time for a change.

Also I couldn’t decide whether or not to separate it into two parts. I decided to say f**k it and post the whole thing.

Anyway, welcome to the first ever year end review where I recap 2019. Just a side note, I am doing this so you won’t have to. Also there a lot of ranting in this.

Quick thing to know is that I can become very brutal when comes to ranting. Trust me they’re not pretty. Oh and I tend write these things like at either towards the end of June and mid July about the stuff that just happened before coming back to it in late October and early November while adding even more information. That’s how things work.

Anyway with that out of the way, I present to you, Lbat1901’s review of 2019 broadcasted worldwide on this day of December 31st (or either the 1st of January and/or December 30th depending on your timezone).

2018 was a good year despite a few thing here and there. Now 2019 was a tad bit better but we lost the OG actor of Chewbacca from Star Wars. Well this isn’t a bad thing, there’s another actor to play the part.

If deaths weren’t always there to make a year bad, then it would be a person’s own downfall. I’m talking about the downfall of the one and only ProJared. Oh god….when I heard the news that he and his wife were filing for a divorce, it wasn’t good at all. Well it was bad at first, but it got worse when his ex-wife stated that he cheated on her. That took me by surprise, but I was all like: “Ah well. Things can’t get any worse than that, right?”. Unfortunately things did got much much worse.

ProJared was reported for doing some sexual activity on Tumblr. He actually DMed a minor and said some explicit stuff to them. Oh boy….that was a shocker. Due to this, everyone and his fans couldn’t find it in their hearts to forgive him. By the way ProJared at the time reached the milestone of 1,000,000 subscribers. That…later went down. A couple of months later, ProJared posted an apology on Twitter which didn’t make any sense. In reality doing that kind of stuff like that could land you in some legal troubles and you won’t be able to recover from it.

It really sucks and it hurts me a lot when it should be considered that ProJared is one of my favorite gaming channels on YouTube and one of my inspirations for all that sweet comedy gold. His videos are so good along his random commentary and jokes. Plus him working together with PeanutButterGamer, another YouTuber that I like, gave out some great positive vibes of collaboration. It’s going to take me a very long time to get over this and find it in my heart to accept his apology, but for now, I’m taking a break from ProJared.

…Aye I’m just kidding! It turns out that in late August, he uploaded a video explaining what really happened which means I can forgive him. I rate ProJared’s explanation video: “a fixed reputation out of 10.”

Another thing that happened was the suicide of another well known YouTuber that I like, that goes by the name of Etika. You see Etika is known for his reaction video especially when it comes to stuff like Nintendo such as Smash Bros. His DLC reveal reactions were priceless and hilarious. At the time, I never knew he had mental issues since it wasn’t clear onto why he always acts up giving off this destructive behavior. I’ve always believed that he did this for to be funny, but now I look back at it, his reactions were a bit too much. Shockingly before his death, he was went to some mental place and even came out from suffering from depression.

Soon afterwards, his family and his fans all reached out to him, but Etika pushed them all to the side. After that, he released a video saying how sorry his was shortly before he took his own life out. When I first heard about it from IGN, I didn’t believe it. But after awhile it turned out to be true. Etika really did killed himself.

I’ll say this once: killing yourself isn’t an option. Sure it maybe a solution to end your problems but in reality it makes everyone around you fall in deep despair. This is coming from a person who had depression in the past along with some forms of PTSD and schizophrenia. If you’re suffering from depression don’t turn down help. There’s always a light at the end of tunnel waiting for you to go towards it. Don’t stop waking to it. And Etika if you’re reading this, from wherever you might be, I hope you’re doing better than you were before since your now considered to be free from your troubles. All of us are going to see you again. Even though I haven’t meant you in person, you’re still a cool guy to me. Stay awesome.

Okay enough of the heavy feels. You all know what’s coming up next. It’s the part where I rant about the things that have happened this year. And hey, new people, you get to have a front row seat for this. The ranting part always gets my reviews a whole lotta views, making them somewhat popular. Here we go!

Alright…I’ll get this part out the way. Is it just me or was it that January 2019 was a very painful month to get through? No? If you’re living in a part where it’s warm everyday for the full entire year, good for you. You don’t have to suffer. But….can we like trade places? I want 90 degree weather all year long. Why you such lucky things. January, according to parts of the world that snow, is considered to be one of the slowest yet worst months of the year. Plus it doesn’t help that fact that it’s still winter and it’s the first month. I have always believed that January is a very slow month, but January 2019….oh my lord, it was brutally slow. Also January is also known to be the month of severe depression since nobody can hold onto their New Year resolution.

January 2019 felt like a drag. Plus I was still lingering to some of my depression after trying to recover from it after November 2018. It was a really bad time for me even though November is usually fast, but it felt I was being stabbed repeatedly. January 2019 was no different. Oh and don’t come to me stating that February comes after January and that it’s a fast month. That is true, but 2019 had to drug up February with depression pills making that a month of total despair. At least once it hit March 2019 things got better and much smoother.

January and February 2019, umm…what the f**k happened to you? January, I don’t expect anything magical about you, but February 2019, my god, you were supposed to be a better month. You had one job and failed at it that’s for sure.

This year’s review would like to take the attention and put it on Venezuela for once. During the first half of the year, many countries around the world has talked about the crisis in Venezuela. Venezuela is known to be a country in South America to have an oil industry which helps the country be successful. The current president is Nicolás Maduro and let’s be honest here, he’s a horrible person. Why? It’s because all of the things that he has done were quite questionable and he has said some controversial things mostly being related to storages. So far there has been several riots, people getting killed in some of those riots, nobody can get any food or medication due to power outages. It continues to get worse as time goes by. Most Venezuelans fled the country because it becoming a sh*thole and I don’t blame them. I would be fleeing from the country too if I can’t get anything. As I said before, countries around the world have been talking about the issues happening in Venezuela. There are some countries that support Maduro while other countries such as the US supports Juan Guaidó who vows to oppose Maduro. This kinda triggers the 2019 presidential crisis in Venezuela; however Guaidó has been given support by 54 countries as of June 2019. Although there is some competition, nobody should be getting in the way since this is Venezuela’s fight and it’s basically their freedom of speech. They must fight the powers that be.

What’s coming up next is something that I refuse to ignore. Article 13 getting passed. You heard that right folks, they did it. They actually f**king did it. In March 2019, the EU were having a debation on whenever or not to pass Article 13. If you don’t know, the EU created a whole bunch of rules for each country in Europe to follow. Some are good and some are just plain stupid. Article 13 is kinda like Europe’s version of Net Neutrality…only if it were on steroids. Article 13 has some tight restrictions but the most controversial thing to come from is that it kills off anything that has to do with copyright. Anything like music, video games, and of course memes won’t exist and guess what? Those motherf**kers in the EU actually said “f**k it!” and let the thing pass and all thanks to this lovely son of a b*ch, Axel Voss

*sighs heavily*

Axel Voss…why? Why? Just why? Why would you say yes? Months before the voting in March, you were supposed to be hope. I trusted your word. I thought you knew what to say, but you had to say the complete opposite. And do you want to know what my reaction is? Do you really want to see it? Oh I’ll give it you you. Here is goes. All I have to say is….wow, you really f**ked everything up big time and here’s my message towards you all:

F**k the EU! F**k Article 13! F**k everyone who allowed to let this thing get approved and have it take effect two years later! And finally, f**k you Axel Voss! F**k you all! I hope all you will burn in hell for this.

Now it’s time for the star of the show and the main topic I talk about every year, Trump.

Oh my where I do even begin? 2019 was the year on how low Trump can go as a president and as a person. Well he already is low.

I know that there’s a huge like and dislike ratio with this man. If you support Trump and would like to dismantle any argument that I make that is totally against everything he says and does, then that’s great! Now do me favor: GO F**K YOURSELF!!!

I had enough of this man and I am sick of this nonsense! Hell I’ve been sick of it already. He’s done way too much and he’s been tripping all over the place as well.

Why are there still people out there supporting this guy? Like seriously, what is wrong with you people?

I have a feeling that you’re going to say this: “What makes him bad to you? He basically done a lot in the past three years. He lowered my taxes so I won’t have to pay that much”.

Um excuse me? Does it look I f**king care if you don’t have to pay that much for taxes? Abso-f**king-lutely not. I don’t give a sh*t if you’re paying less in taxes along with telling me that it’s raining tacos. Must I remind you that this man ordered a government shutdown for the first part of the year which, bear in mind, lasted 30 days all because he wanted a wall to be built between the Mexican and American borders? Let’s not forget that the president of Mexico already said no to paying that wall.

So yeah, Trump was throwing a tantrum over it. Why not you just build a wall of Legos? It’s cheaper.

The more I think about this, the more I pay attention to the audience in Trump’s rallies. What do I see, I hear you ask? Nothing but basic white people and that’s exactly my point. In most of Trump’s rallies, you don’t see any black, Hispanic, Asian, or Somalian people in the stands. That’s because would they support Trump? All you see is just white people and the majority of them have blonde hair and blue eyes.

They’re not just any white people, they are the ones with the guns, Trump hats, the pick up truck, and the Confederate flag. They are also known as those die hard rednecks that love to spread hatred and racism. I do have to admit that I love rednecks with their Southern accents and charm (expect for the racism), but not the rednecks that love an orangutan that cares about himself and money.

This orangutan is also businessman who seems to have an obsession on running a business to the ground which is exactly what he’s doing to America. Plus he doesn’t think that global warming is real. Uh huh, you might want to tell that to California and its many wildfires, the farmers who had so much rainfall this year and can’t sell their crops due to tariffs, and pretty much to the entire world or you can just act like an idiot which leads into me calling you, and say it with me, a whiny little b*ch.

Oh Trump honey, you and you’re little friends are in so much trouble when it hits January because you’ve got impeached and you were basically whining on Twitter about it. All I heard was doom and gloom and the sounds of a baby crying. Awww….does little Trump want his nappy wampy? Might as well tell your queen Mike Pence that you need one, because you’re losing this chess game.

I can’t get the image of Trump showing off a map on where Hurricane Dorian was going to hit out of my head. He may got the part on where it was going to hit Florida right, but he pointed out that it was going to hit Alabama. Technically that map was outdated and Hurricane Dorian didn’t hit Alabama, but he didn’t say that he was wrong. Instead he just circles on where the hurricane was going to hit with a white sharpie and had a proud look on his face saying “Look what I did, daddy. I’m smart”. He pretty much made the entire state of Alabama fall into a panic.

He was so proud of himself that he phone called his best friend Putin about it. I swear that Putin has something on him and the reason why he wanted Trump to win is so that he can get Trump to do whatever he wants. Trump is basically Putin’s b*ch.

Plus Putin rewrote the Russian constitution which Trump doesn’t even seem to care about America’s own constitution at all. Even his own party members don’t care about it. They seem to care about the 2nd amendment more and it’s a dying shame that all of them will be voted out of office when 2020 hits. Can’t wait for it.

Unfortunately, when there’s a new president, there’s going to be a lot to fix since no one trusts America anymore since Trump ruined everything especially getting out of that deal with Iran. That had to be the most dumbest thing that he’s ever done. Big mistake, Trump.

All he did was claim that Obama gave them money? No he didn’t. The agreement was to see what America was giving to Iran along with unfreezing their money just so they feed their people. But no, blame everything on Obama because why not.

Honestly the current Republican party blame things that happened on former presidents and the Democrats. People also say that the Democrats have gone way too far onto the left, but here’s the thing, the Republicans were the party that actually had the balls of steel, but now they’ve gone completely off the rails allowing their own president to break the constitution just get information on a political rival from a foreign leader which is a violation and illegal. Do the Republicans seem to care about rules being broken? Of course not. What are these people on exactly? Dope? I would sure love to have some of that just so I won’t have to deal with crap.

Most of my year end reviews on what Trump did is hard. Why? It’s because he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Again, why is there people out there who support this man? He’s a crook. You might argue with me that he’s a businessman. And? You’re point is? Listen, how can he be a businessman when filed for bankruptcy several times? That’s not a good businessman, that’s a bad one. When are you people going to get that through your thick skulls?

Can you imagine if it were Obama doing the crap that Trump had some so far? Oh god, the Republicans would have his head. The Republicans now? Nah, they don’t want to bother since they don’t want to lose their power. Ahh….that’s too bad, you’re going to be losing that during the senate trail next year.

Speaking of Alabama, they were the first state to pass an anti abortion law, but guess what? Women don’t know if their pregnant in six weeks so why bother. Oh wait, I keep forgetting that the American government is being run by old white men that like taking a giant step back in time where woman didn’t have any rights. Back in the 1960s, doctors wouldn’t tell women about their health but only told it to their husbands. Yeah that’s right, women weren’t treated as as people and it was pretty messed up. Now a few decades before that time period, women couldn’t walk around unless they were with their husbands. Can you imagine that being written in law in this current time period? It would be f**ked up even though it was back then and it still exist in other countries to this day. What’s even worse is that women weren’t taught how to read or weren’t sent to school. That was centuries ago mind you.

2020 is going to be the start of whole new decade. The 2010s weren’t that bad, but it was till the near end were it got bad. 2020 is going to be the year of adios Trump.

Anyway, this has been Lbat1901 reporting last time in 2019. See you in 2020.

[mveloc]

5x09 Rant

ugh. i was sooooo disappointed with this episode that i just had to get a few things off my chest. feel free to chime in anywhere--i’m curious to see how everyone else felt about this episode. here are just a few points i had issues with:

lack of clones. here’s an idea: instead of having art and scott and hellwizard fight the final battle with sarah, maybe—i don’t know—have the clones do the fighting? i’m all for supporting characters, but it’s the SECOND TO LAST EPISODE OF THE SERIES and aside from sarah and helena (and a little bit of rachel), the rest of the sestras are pretty much nonentities. instead of having scott, art, and hellwizard literally walk into the belly of the beast with zero resistance (don’t even get me started), have the sestras there instead. some may say, “but what are alison and cosima supposed to do?” well, now that neolution has been exposed and dyad is being swarmed by reporters and whatnot, why not use that to their advantage? if alison and cosima and even rachel all showed up to the dyad building with the same face in a show of solidarity to start talking to reporters, to share their story about what’s happening to helena inside of dyad right now, wouldn’t that be far more damaging? to me, it would symbolize everything this series is supposed to be about—autonomy, family, all of that good stuff. i would much rather see them stand together as a family and expose themselves to the world on their own terms than have a couple dudes run aimlessly around dyad mission-impossible style.

picture it:

sarah sneaks into dyad to try to save helena. she gets pinned down, unable to escape. helena’s going into labour. they’re completely out of options. just as pt is closing in on them, someone pulls him aside. “sir, you should see this.” a television screen turns on. it’s cosima and alison (and maybe even rachel—i’d love to see rachel stand in solidarity with her sisters for the first time) on the news, standing in front of the dyad building, telling their story. they share that two of their sisters are currently trapped inside of dyad as neolution tries to rip helena’s babies away. they plead for help. krystal steps out of the crowd—she’s been watching everything with dyad unfold—and she joins her sisters on screen. art tells his police captain that it’s all true—they need to get to dyad now to save those women. they storm the building to save the twins, but pt is unwilling to go down without a fight. realizing he’s cornered, he tries to burn the whole goddamn lab down with him. flashback to kira’s “you set mom on fire.” there’s mass panic. we don’t know if sarah and helena are still alive. and then suddenly, through the fire, they walk out with the twins and rejoin their sisters.

helena. despite the fact that they re-casted young helena, i didn’t have a problem with the flashbacks per se. they were well done and this is a helena-centric episode, so it’s to be expected. however, my main issue is that the flashbacks didn’t really reveal much about helena that we didn’t already know. i think the helena-centric episode should have come much earlier in the season because honestly? it fell super flat to me. helena has essentially been absent for the last two seasons so we’ve got virtually no character development from her. and now—in the penultimate episode of the series—we finally see some sort of crack in her form? helena has always been excited about the prospect of motherhood, has never doubted herself before and suddenly, with a few nasty words from coady, she’s completely flipped around? she suddenly feels unworthy? she tries to kill herself? it’s ridiculous. i would not have had a problem with this storyline if it had come A SEASON AGO WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE. like, if we had seen helena struggle with the idea of motherhood and what that meant and whether she could be a good mother after everything she’s done all throughout season 4 and the first half of this season, then her decision to attempt suicide would have been far more impactful. helena started out as my favourite character in the series and now i could really care less about her because instead of exploring her guilt and vulnerability, they turned her into a comedy duo with donnie and then made her disappear when they didn’t know what else to do with her. this episode was the most soap opera-y the show has ever felt to me because they tried to cram two seasons of character development into 40 minutes. this is not something we should be seeing in the second-to-last episode of the series.

siobhan. i understand that there’s way too much shit going on for everyone to properly mourn siobhan’s death, but it still felt sort of… cheap? siobhan has been there since the beginning—has been the matriarch of the family—so i would think her death would have been more felt? that comes to another huge problem i had with this episode—a whole lot of bark and very little bite. it felt like we were being told shit rather than actually be shown it, which brings me to my next point:

exposition. for an episode that had so much going on, it felt like nothing really happened. i think this is because we were told most of the information and not shown anything; we’re told that sarah is distraught over siobhan’s death by multiple characters, but aside from a couple of minutes of her looking downtrodden, we don’t really see it—we’re not given time to see it; we’re told that neolution is completely unravelling now that they’re exposed, but again, we don’t really see the effects of this—we have some off-screen murder/suicides of the board members, some mentions of the press going crazy, but not much else. hell, even the whole idea of pt hiding out in the old dyad building is ridiculous. we get nothing but exposition; scott and cosima explain that the building has been closed down, so it would be a perfect hiding place for him. uhhhh… since when? there was absolutely no mention of this before? even if they had casually brought it up in a past episode, it would have made some sort of sense. instead we’re just presented with a problem and solution all at once. and on the same note, when they initially thought pt would take helena to the island and the response was “oh, he wouldn’t do that. it’s not safe for pt anymore now that revival has revolted and been destroyed.” uh, motherfuckers—they were just about to bring kira to the island two episodes ago even after revival had fallen and suddenly it’s unsafe? i get it—the writers needed a reason for pt to be in toronto so the sestras could have a final showdown—but shit. they could have tried a little harder here.

mark. i guess we were supposed to feel bad for mark. i get it—i actually liked mark—but he’s been gone for so long at this point that he’s hardly relevant anymore. they brought him back for all of three minutes and then cut him out again. his death was just sooooo rushed that it was impossible to feel anything. you’d miss it if you blinked. there was too much shit going on in this episode for it to really count.

coady. another character clusterfuck. they set coady up as sort of the ultimate evil—no conscience, willing to do whatever it took for the sake of progress—the opposite of susan. i understand that human beings are rarely so one-dimensional and that she’s probably not 100% evil, but they sprinkled this episode with little moments of doubt. first she advised against pt’s hasty treatment towards helena (wanting to cut the babies out), and then she voiced her anger over gracie’s death and her reluctance to euthanize mark. so i thought, “okay, are they going to try to flip her now? is she actually going to realize that she’s been pushing too far and that pt is a psychopath? does she actually feel something towards castor after all? is she going to see the error of her ways?” i mean, it’s a little late for that, but i guess it could sort of work. nope. she expresses her reluctance to euthanize mark and then goes “welp. guess i have no choice.” she’s seemingly sympathetic to helena in one breath and then in the next is all “welp. you’re still an animal, so fuck you.” i guess i just don’t understand where the writers were going with this? i thought maybe she’d turn sides and try to help helena, because why else would they show these little moments of coady’s doubt/resistance? yes, it would be a little predictable and cliche, but if she had no intention of shifting her allegiance, then why even waste time showing these moments at all? chekhov’s gun, people! i guess the jury’s still out since we don't know if helena actually killed her and coady could still be relevant, but it seems kind of pointless now.

pt westmorland. he’s just become a caricature at this point. they should have kept rachel as the big bad. honestly, i would have much preferred to see her kill him and try to take his place and watch her slow and painful downfall. now that neolution is exposed, what even is his endgame? to prolong his life? okay. but then what? the charade is up—even with the few loyal followers her has left, he’ll never be able to push his agenda on a large scale, so what’s the point? he’s now just doing evil shit for the sake of being evil.

[tranxendance]

End of 2018 Anime recs

I watched a lot of anime this year. I mean a LOT of anime to the point where I had to cut a lot of them out to watch later. It has easily been the best year for anime I’ve ever seen, though there were a few notable stinkers. Out of the ones i’ve watched, or given the 3-episode test to, I’ve liked 100% of them, so if you respect my taste in anime at all, here’s what I would recommend you watch, having consumed all of these at least in some part. In no particular order, I give you the list below the cut.

Hinamatsuri (Full watch) - I went in looking for a comedy, I came out completely in love with this show’s character design and story. It remains really funny, but has a heart in a way I didn’t expect.

Devilman Crybaby (3-episode test) - I already knew the plot and where this one was going from the manga so I just gave this one the 3 episode test and, yeah, it’s really good. Grim and dark and gruesome and I love it. Will be finishing this one out eventually just to see the wonderful animation work that has been put into it.

Wotakoi/Love is difficult for otaku (3-episode test) - I don’t usually go in on romance anime, and I think this one is from a light novel, and I avoid those even harder as a rule, but this one’s concept sounded pretty good. I’d like to see where this one goes, or if it completely ends up predictably.

Aggretsuko (Full watch) - I watched this in the original subtitles before it came to Netflix (or maybe they were pirate subtitles? I don’t remember) but this is the year it became popular. It’s weird that this goofy red panda that loves heavy metal is the most relatable character to me out of almost any anime protagonist of recent memory. Along with Wotakoi, this has one of the rare ‘adult romance’ stories, as well as being funny as hell.

Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure part 5 (Ongoing) - I will continue to reccommend every part of Jojos because even if this part isn’t for you, there might be another part coming up that is more your cup of tea. Not to mention, David Productions knocks it out of the park with adapting Araki’s artstyle in a way I never would’ve thought possible before Part 1 began. The anime-original additional scenes also add a lot to the story, and I can’t wait to see where this one goes next.

Skull-faced Bookseller Honda/Gaikotsu Shotenin Honda-san (Partial completion) - I’m going to go and finish watching the remaining few episodes of this after I complete this list. To anyone who’s ever worked in Retail, the struggles of Honda-san are way, way too real. Not to mention, you know that all of this really happened to a real person as it’s autobiographical.

Cells at work/Hataraku Saibou (Full watch) - I mean...I could say ‘just refer to my Cells At Work saved my life’ post if you want a rec on this one. It’s amazing, educational, good gore, great character design, and personally significant to me, what more could I possibly say than that?

Goblin Slayer (Full watch) - I have lots of thoughts on this one that I will elaborate on in a later review post, but I also kind of want to hold off until season 2 happens. I’m not sure. If you can get past the first episode, which is admittedly kind of rough to watch (I’m getting a little queasy thinking about it) there’s some excellent gore, an interesting story and theming, and it will go places you don’t expect, no matter WHAT you expect. Dismemberment/maiming and rape scenes are in this, so make sure you can handle that before you go in.

Golden Kamuy Season 2 (Full watch) - I can reccommend this one to you if you like Westerns, Period Drama, Comedy...gay porn, I dunno, it’s got something for just about everybody. Character design is off the charts, the story continually breaks and repairs my heart, comedic beats never ‘miss’ for me. I have never read the manga but I’m sorely tempted to see where the story goes next before season 3 drops.

Yuru Camp/Laid Back Camp (3-episode test) - Okay, seriously though, I hate moe`. I think it’s a trash genre meant to sell to the lowest common denominator. And I fucking LOVED Yuru camp. It plays out almost like an educational anime, with a voice-over that comes in to explain camping and bushcraft techniques. I’d say the cute girls are incidental, but they’re characters in their own right, and they read as actual friends. Not lesbian-bait ‘friends’ either. It’s hard to say who it’s for, other than me, who likes camping, but maybe otaku who are interested in camping? People who love cute girls in pastoral scenes? Something like that.

Boku no Hero Academia/My Hero Academy season 3 (Full watch) - I’ve been calling this ‘Naruto without all the stuff that makes me hate Naruto’ or ‘Western comics done better’ or ‘Western comics from a Japanese creator’s experience’ and i’m not sure which one is more accurate yet. Everyone already knows this one, knows how good it is, storywise, character design wise, and animationwise, as Studio Bones always seems to know exactly where to put the money and where to save on it. This is one that’s probably actively better than the manga because the voice acting and animation lends new emotion to the characters beyond what could possibly be on the page. Still if you are trying to avoid or ignore one of the biggest shonen series of recent years, I hope my first three statements will convince you to try it.

A Place Further Than The Universe (3-Episode test) - I wasn’t sure what to expect from this one, because of the zany-sounding premise. A trip to antarctica? How bizzare! But i’m actually eager to see where things go, as this seems awfully grounded and ‘normal’ so far.

Honorable Mentions: Aka the ‘I didn’t watch it but I kind of regret it’ category.

Megalo Box: I ignored this one initially because it sounded like it was completely disrespecting the sport of boxing, but then had the plot synopsis told to me and now i’m regretting that decision, and I want to go back to it.

Zombieland Saga: I categorically ignore any idol anime, especially when it seems to have a really stupid gimmick to it, but then the whole Lily thing appeared and I kinda have to see it now, I guess.

So that’s it for 2018! Maybe the best year for anime ever, but now we have 2019 to look forward to, and I hope my expectations are broken so by next year I wonder how I thought 2018 was the best!