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#but jesus christ that course is long
chaitigers · 9 months
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fucking scuba diving
if i have to stare and read how many times i have to fart to get air out of my ass during a dive i will actually fucking stop breathing
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a-sketchy · 8 months
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persona misogyny is so fucking wild. ignoring literally everything else about the entire rest of the games, every single s.link with a female character is like “entirely for having been born a woman i have had to work twice as hard for a fraction of the benefit. even now, i am stripped of my agency in a position i never wanted in the first place” and/or “i’m put on a pedestal by the people in my life because of my looks. men see me as an object to be conquered, women hate me for ‘stealing’ ‘their’ men. if i’m withdrawn i’m a bitch, if i’m friendly i’m easy. because of this, i’m alone” and/or “because of my personality or hobby or lack of cooking skills, i feel like i’m failing at femininity. if being a woman is something i can fail at, then where does that leave me? i’m scared at the loss of my identity and place in society”
like very consistently they present female characters with complex thoughts towards their place in society as women, femininity as a whole, and facing issues stemming from misogyny, and then the payoff is always “my problems were entirely my own fault. i wasn’t strong enough, i was a coward. but now, i’m gonna work hard to be exactly what society expects me to be (which is what i want to be)! i’m gonna do better at femininity (which is still something tangible i can fail at)! i’m going to try hard at making friends (which was my fault for not doing)! all my problems are solved through personal responsibility (that im totally culpable for), effort (which i previously was not putting in), or you, a man! i am Happy and Satisfied with this outcome, can i be Your woman?”
and like hello? why are we here. what the fuck are we doing. why do we keep doing this every single time. can we not do the constant lukewarm attempts at criticizing misogyny so you can jerk off to your own thoughtfulness, while ultimately reinforcing patriarchal systems and brushing off any deeper misogyny-bred issues as a lack of deference to one’s rightful place in society? like maybe don’t do that? for fucking once? just an idea
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boyfridged · 1 year
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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.
Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.
I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.
Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.
oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.
tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.
and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.
first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.
i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.
bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)
i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"
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this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.
so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.
the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."
the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.
but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.
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so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.
that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.
we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.
the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.
and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.
which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.”  to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.
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eyrieofsynapses · 1 month
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mmmf so tired. so eepy. so much to do. ugh
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ohbeffinitely · 1 year
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Hi y'all, I'm rebranding!!
I'm finally not following my professor's decade-old advice, so I'm going from BethHankel to Oh Beffinitely!! It's still me, just a little snarkier uwu
I'm so excited for all my links to break 🥲
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have been unpacking the scene where they bully and manipulate five into joining in the training session, which i've had to do a little at a time because there's A Lot and it is Upsetting Shit, but this bit in particular i'm just
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how to make me instantly want to punch a character in the throat: have them pull the 'i can treat you however i want, up to and including physical violence, because it's my house' card, aka every abusive parent ever lmao
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misdre · 3 months
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my god!!!! i've been reconnecting with the anime nerd inside myself lately that i kind of lost like uhh during the covid times actually?? i don't think those two things are related but it just happened like that. but this year i started going to cons again and since then have been slowly getting back to that world and it's really kind of a bizarre feeling to unearth so many memories and like "oh yeah i was really invested in this thing and VA too. and this OP/ED song. and this and this series that people these days prob haven't heard of. also this obscure thing people didn't know even back when it aired. and first i hated this VA but then i started liking him 5 years later. and this character and this ship and"
bro! this is a mindfuck but a good one, it like, sends me into another dimension where i remember things are sparkly and kawaii again. i have no idea how my teenager/20yo self in particular had time and energy to be into so many things but good for her. now i can just kind of look back fondly
....and focus on the things i have energy for now as present me. which means going ballistic over aya hisakawa and ai orikasa all over again
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watery-melon-baller · 3 months
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its so fun :)) and awesome :)) that i cannot fucking make my brain focus on my homework :))) holy shit im gonna kill someone :)) why can't my brain just work for five fucking minutes :)) this is easy homework too I just can't concentrate on it at all :)) and it's due tomorrow morning :)))
#yes I AM bitching about physics again#having a hyperfixation is stupid and awful and fucking sucks#Jesus Christ stop thinking about toh for FIVE MINUTES#and physics is like. I struggle with it. I'm slow#I need all of my brainpower to focus and problem solve but I genuinely!! Cannot!! Focus!!!#It's so insane. All comprehension skills go out the window#if I fail this class then I'm genuinely fucked like. I can't even begin to describe how screwed I am if I fail this class#Or even if I pass this class but barely understand it#and it goes so fast and i don't have anyone I can go to for help#with calc 2 I was going to the tutoring center every week!!!#but I can't do that!!! And I don't know anyone who knows physics#and it's not like I have friends in the class :))) because I'm so socially stunted it's embarrassing :))))#Jesus fucking Christ I can't function like a normal person#my brain has just been completely rotted from two years of doing nothing but bullshit art projects and now I've lost all critical thinking#im just frustrated because this isn't even the difficult part#SHE LITERALLY TOLD US WHAY TO DO IN CLASS#I JUST FUCKINH. CANNOT. FOCUS OR EVEN COMPREGEND IT#AND I WROTE DOWN EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID AND IT MADE SENSE IN CLASS#BUT NOW MY BRAIN IS ALL FUZZY AND I CANNT UNDERSTAND A WORD#AND I PROCRASTICATED ALL WEEKEND BECAUSE. I COULD NOT FUCKING FOCUS#BECAUSE OOOOHHH MAYBE ILL JUST MAGICALLY START FOCUSINH IF I WAIT LONG ENOUGH#NOPE!#FUCK ME I GUESS#THIS IS DUE TOMORROW SO I HAVE TO GET THIS DONE#ITS LIKE MY BRAIN IS SLUDGE I CAN'T THINK CLEARLY AT ALL#if i can't do well in this course then. um. i don't wanna say my life is ruined but. it fucks up so many things for me#I don't know dude I just can't wrap my head around this kind of stuff and I'm stressed#lilac post#im aware im being self pitying and this won't help me but im feeling bitchy 2nite
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knightzp · 3 months
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AND SPRING LAST YEAR WAS
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ALL THE REFERENCES TO BAND ENSEMBLE ARE MAKING ME INSANE
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kitkatcadillac · 2 years
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seeing a lot of posts making me think about it lately but i think its really important to note when you consider the ways that you accept and support the queer/lgbtq community that its critical, if you want to do a well founded and strong job of it, absolutely CRITICAL to diversify that
i know theres a lot going on right now thats noisy, and scary, and it feels overwhelming and sometimes that pressure is good at encouraging infighting or picking teams or whatnot
but like... i dont know man. step back and relax a little bit. dont engage with the live wire. go... read some stories. read or watch some history, enjoy some queer entertainment.
google terminology. watch something about the AIDS pandemic. see top ten queer artist lists and pick a few to learn more about. look at the wiki for the lavender scare. watch some musicals, learn about theater history. about drag. the holocaust, and how much they cared about whether you were gay, autistic, or jewish, and why its so important to remember who your real fight is with.
not even all at once. just throw some crumbs in with whatever else youre doing, or youre interested in. tidbits. find happy things. find mundane things. find infuriating things. find combinations, confusing things. diversify. grow yourself. give yourself time and tools in bounds. much to learn every day.
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imaginaryanon · 9 months
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oh it's just horrors all the way down today huh
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all-mirrors · 8 months
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i had such a great time at work today, i accidentally started an email war 😵‍💫
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#holy fuck. i dont think ive ever been so angry for so long#i got the email abt the change to the end of this experiment at like 7.30am and i was like crying while i was watering#and that dispair consolidated into anger over the course of the day. by like 2pm i was like possessed#by the spirit of a angsty teen boy and wanted to punch some holes in drywall. i was so fucking angry#and the 1st email i got back was like: well u can do sunday/monday for extra measurements if u want#and i was like fucking WHAT? why the fuck cant i just start thr fucking dry down tomorrow?#literally why??? fucking why????? the other half of the experiment is drying tomorrow so what the actual fuck???#and apparently it just didnt occure to them that we could do both at once. and they wanted to give me the option of a break#which. i appreciate the sentiment but jesus fucking christ u have no idea the atrocity we just avoided#if i had to drag this out until Wednesday i genuinely dont know what i woulf have done. if i had to drag this out until Wednesday only to#find out i didnt have to. i dunno. i would probably have thrown a tantrum like a child. god. ive been here like 10.5hrs now and 1 more to#go. fucking editing and emailing and fixing stupid shit. and my boss is like: email the editor both proofs so he can show reviewers the#changes. as he stated in his email. and im like fucking: ok. ok. ok. ill fucking do it but he has the 1st fucking proof already and the#fucking production office just asked me to send the 2nd proof which i already fucking sent. so maybe its just i cant fucking read#ugh. im not mad at her. this isnt her fault. im just unwell. ugh. i dont wanna b around ppl this week. i dont wanna have to pretend to be#a person. just leave me alone to cry in my freezing apartment as i let all my problems boil over#unrelated
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mariusroyale · 1 year
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HANDPLATES FUCKING FINISHED OH MY GOD
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years
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Daigo has so many genuine connections, all these people who would stand by him regardless of if Tojo still exists. It just sort of feels like it plays to the way Masato is just chronically blind to the love around him and the strength of Ichiban's whole thing and surrounds himself purely with transactional relationships. It's the way Mine viewed the world before he met Daigo, but Masato is purposefully cultivating this environment around himself. Masato HAD those bonds where Mine didn't, but Masato's "those who use and those who are used" still feels like a worse distillation of Mine's philosophy, or at least that the two rhyme even if they aren't the same. Daigo originally defying Mine's worldview led to a longing to understand it and be a part of it; Daigo defying Masato's would probably just lead to more seething lol. Tojo going away, not only is just 'oops daigo already planned on that' robbing Masato of the satisfaction, idk it just further highlights that without being wrapped up in the status of Chair that these people are still with Daigo. Aoki bought his connections through lies and money and destroyed the only ones he sincerely had by following "use or be use" to its end, but Daigo could just fuck off anywhere he wanted and still have not just friendship but as Masato might see it absolute loyalty (esp in a Mine lives scenario; Aoki's lil pet bastard Kume's devotion is absolutely a speck vs **Mine** ). Both Aoki and Daigo can lose their positions of power, but its only Masato who feels like he's lost everything. sdfklfsjld idk goodbye anyway the brainrot is strong please keep going I'm here for every second
OK BUT LIKE. ALL OF THIS. ABOVE MY FIREPLACE AND FRAMED
the note bout mine and masato's worldviews IS SUCH an interesting point too: in essence they both believed the same thing (genuine bonds are a myth and people only use each other), it was just that mine held onto the small hope that he'd be wrong one day. by the time daigo does prove him wrong, he's almost automatically willing to accept it. his problem is that he became so attached to daigo that when the possibility of him being taken away became real, he went off the deep end
in masato's case. Lord he's a field day to explore psychologically maybe in another post, but he did have those bonds mine wanted so earnestly for more than half his life, exactly. ever since arakawa saved him- hell, even after sawashiro realized the life he inflicted upon him, masato was showered with nothing but love from the arakawa family. it's a wonder that despite that fact, masato still insisted he was neglected and alone. settling for relationships he knew were fake and for the most part temporary, he wanted to protect himself- he didn't want to be attached and become hurt and vulnerable again
it really is a cruel twist for masato and daigo and how they end up: despite daigo actually having grown up alone, that didn't stop him from having a warm and inviting attitude towards people and giving him a sizable amount of people who'd follow him to the ends of the earth. inversely, masato had become greedy and wanted more adoration, even if it was superficial or surface level.
#long post#fave#y7 spoilers#spoilers#snap chats#god i wish i was better at using WORDS to express myself better so just imagine im eating fiberglass rn thanks#its also grossly ironic how both aoki and daigo become threatened by their most loyal followers for different reasons#mine let his love become lethal meanwhile kume only cared about aoki for his policies#funny how that happens huh. Mine Get Help Challenge you made me compare you to kume mine im so sorry ily#but GOD yeah i could definitely see masato getting pissed at daigo for being his defying worldview#i lie when i say Why Did Masato Reject The Love He Had because unfortunately i understand#i think masato's so indignant because it's a matter of It's Too Good To Be True#trust issues to the max for the past 18 years jesus christ#his condition made him feel isolated but im sure it also made him feel like he was more trouble than he was worth#not that thats true of course- but from his perspective that's probably how he felt#it's apparent during the suzumori cutscene how he demands no one look at him- that he doesnt need help#but thats postulating for another post Back On Topic#maybe daigo's initial loneliness as a kid is what helped him become so charismatic#he's just able to understand what it's like without having a genuine friend- or having incredibly few of them#god the point about daigo's power but not his allies being taken away is a great point too#like aoki cannot win at all in that scenario: daigo is neither alone nor totally defenseless#my brain's going to be eaten by fungus at this point im just rotating all of these points in my mind like a SSBB trophy
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silenthilllz · 1 year
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HELLO?? KAIBA??
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