#but losing at the end hurts so much

[jaynosurname]

Fuck Remilla Scarlet, I hope she gets sunburn and disintegrates.

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

[lesbiantrish]

“ten is a bad person” you never even tried to understand him

[faunabel]

my fave form of what's basically friends to lovers is when two people meet and have all their own baggage and the connection they form together and love they have for each other forces them to unpack all that baggage if they want to make things work. the kind of relationship where you're forced to look in the mirror and stop avoiding ur own problems because that person forces u to confront all of them (and u force them to confront theirs, too) because the relationship will Not work if you keep up all these walls either from your person of interest or even from urself!!! and there's too much of something there to give up and move on because it's difficult

the kind of thing where there's romance but the real plot of it all is self transformation through loving another. like the focus is on two individuals w/ their own lives who come together and have romantic feelings for each other vs the romance itself being the plot.

and maybe in the end they don't even stay together! maybe it doesn't work out! but there's drastic change and an undeniable impact they both made in each other's lives that will live on. is changing for the better not love in its rawest form?

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 749: The last Straight Road*

(NdT.: same pun Kinaka always makes with his name and the word for straight road)

Pag 1

1: I....

3: Imaizumi-san!!

4: Go- good work!!

Good work!!

You were taking a long time for this lap

Pag 2

1: Yes, teh, I got a fl-fl-flat- my bike!!

Yessir!!

2: It's the tire!!

4: Only tires can get a flat

Ah- damn, yes, that's right

Right!!

6: I thought something like this might have happened, so I brought these

Replacement tubes, tire levers, and a pump. Use them

Pag 3

2: This is unusual!! I never thought Imaizumi-san was the attentive type – is it just for us!?

Yeah!! I thought first and second years were just not important to him....

3: You don't want to use the,?

We'll use them, thank you so much!!

4: You saved us, teh....!!

That's true

6: Ah, uhm... but..... Imaizumi-san

Earlier you said that

7: Sugimoto-san won't come”, what did you mean?

Pag 4

1: He retired

Pag 5

1: He's still displayed on the board, but

3: There's still time until midnight

If Sugimoto-kun....

4: Please leave the possibility open in case Sugimoto-kun wants to come back!!

5: Onoda insisted

6: Re... tired.....

Sugi..... moto-san....

Pag 6

1: He used up all his stamina and mental strength in his fight against Danchiku, and he was defeated

2: You didn't notice because you've been on the course the whole time

4: Ah... actually, when it got dark, Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san passed us various times... teh

Huh!? That? So at that time-!?

5: You have no time to talk about unimportant things

As soon as you're done with the repairs, run, first years

6: Soon

Pag 7

1: Waa, ye-yes, teh, thank you for the tools

Yeah, there's still 40km

2: If we join our strengths....

Don't cooperate

5: Teh!?

7: From now on, you can't allow yourselves to run like friends

8: Huh....

Our “buddies” stickers.....!?

You have to fight

Pag 8

1: And win the last spot to be an Inter High member!!

Pag 9

1: Fa.... ight....

2: Against.... Kinaka-kun

3: Against.... Rokudai

4: 35km left!!

Gooo!! Kinakaa, Rokudaii!!

Do your best...!!

5: I feel like they'll be able to run the 1000km!!

Amazing!

Ah, but there was no distance between them just now?

Pag 10

1: Fight....

2: The spot as a regular in the two-times national champion, Sohoku....

3: I can't take it by just being friendly....!!

4: And also

5: There's Sugimoto-san's wish!!

Pag 11

1: Wa- wait, please, Imaizumi-san

But.... if in this training camp the condition to become the sixth regular was to finish the 1000km first....

2: Then why did Sugimoto-san and Danchiku-san race!?

4: I came here to give you a message from Sugimoto

5: I think, I think it's necessary, you know

Sohoku is a team that connect and support each other

6: Just like during our first year, you, Naruko, and Onoda, connected your wishes and aimed for the goal

7: And last year Kaburagi ran with Aoyagi-san and carried the team until the mountains on the third day

8: So I think we need it

9: Our third year Inter High members

Pag 12

1: Definitely need a “first year”!!

3: Even if he knew he was making his own situation worse, he thought about the best shape for the team would be

4: He accepted it, and fought

Pag 13

1: For the fifth place

3: Among the first years, those two are left, I look forward to see what they do!!

That's too much food

4: Danchiku probably understood it, too

That's why he fought with all his strength

6: Now you two have to run with the weight of those expectations on your back!!

7: Fight, against your opponent and against yourself!! Use all your strength

Pag 14

1: And pull to yourself that last jersey!!

2: Straaa-

Pag 15

1: Straight roaaad!!

2: - traight!!

3: …. ngh

Ugh.....

4: Kinaka-kun.....

5: Don't cry, Rokudai!!

Pag 16

1: What are you doing, oi!! I'll leave you behind like this!! I'll tear you off!!

If you give up, then it's lucky for me!!

2: My goal has always been the Inter High jersey!!

To get back at those senpai who made fun of me!!

3: To show it to the Onii-san who taught me how to ride bikes!!

So, for that....

6: So I'm telling you not to cry!!

Pag 17

1: But, Kinaka-kun....

It's that your “Straitgh road”, wasn't fast at all....!!

4: You knee? It's your knee, right?

Since when? Since a while ago?

5: Since when we were at about 800km

Pag 18

1: It's a race, Rokudai

2: You should have told me, teh

I didn't notice, teh!!

3: I'm such an incapable former manager, teh....

4: Since when I lost to you in the first years' race

6: I've been thinking that I would definitely not lose the next time we race

7: Even though the truth is that I don't really care about that anymore

So, once again...

Pag 19

1: It's a race, Rokudai!!

3: Let's do it, Rokudai!!

I can't, teh

4: Race me, pedal!!

I don't want to, teh....

5: Fight me!!

I won't pedal, teh

Pag 20

1: Because, if I fight you now, Kinaka-kun, I'll end up winning, teh

Pag 22

1: With that kindness of yours, support our senpai during the Inter High

[confusedsiewmai]

Sometimes, I don't like looking at Frieren fandom things is because it feels so alienating as an aroace person sometimes.

I relate to Frieren in a lot of ways. The way she goes through life at her own speed, the way she has a certain way of doing things that is hard to change, the way she struggles to fully understand others but is still compassionate and tries, and last but not least, the way she doesn't feel romantic or sexual attraction the way most people do.

So when a fan posts something about how elves like Frieren don't really feel romantic or sexual attraction and it's wonderful that Himmel's unrequited love with her is still portrayed as something beautiful, healthy and valued, but the comments section is just filled with people being like: No!!!! That's not true!!! Frieren loves Himmel even though she doesn't realise it!!!!

Or even the more "generous" ones are like: No!!! She is just falling in love with him years later!!! The whole story is about how she regrets not pursuing it until it was too late!!!!

And like, every person has their own interpretation and ships. But it really is a bit saddening as an aroace person that sees Frieren also as an aroace who probably would never feel as much romantic love for Himmel EVER. People have almost this... need to correct people that Frieren loves Himmel romantically.

[fighting-these-demons]

Divorce Saga Domon - A Haunted Honk Prequel

Hello Internet Stranger looking up G Gundam on Tumblr dot com!

This is an idea for a fic set in an Alternate Universe involving Queer Non-Canon Relationships between the characters of the series.

If you are not looking for this content please scroll on.

If you ARE looking for this content - and you're ok with reading my and other's Headcanons for this Alternate Universe I've haphazardly spun up -

Then go ahead and feel free to:

Check The Tags Of This Post For The Pairings

and click the Read More below!

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Ended up outlining a completely different fic as a Segway for an explanation instead of making progress on the Royal Flush Haunted Honk AU's Clown Motel Fic like I wanted to but uh....

For y'all's review for the AU: A Prequel Outline - Divorce Saga Domon

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Hey real quick - I'm thinking of maybe changing the timeline to 2 years post canon as opposed to 3 years and change post canon.

The reason being: I had a thought that this scene could either be part if the fic or if it's getting to big then it could be a stand alone tie-in prequel fic as part of this AU but - like

Immediately Post Divorce Domon Needs Space and runs off. As one does. And he runs to Earth because he just wants to Get Lost for a while.

He has Argo smuggle him out to avoid detection.

Argo has Andrew help stow Domon in a storage hanger of a Neo Canadian supply ship that's returning to the US - they have trade often enough and share agricultural resources - which leads to Domon ending up in New York when he hits Earthside pavement.

He's privately worked on his English the last couple of months and after being dropped in New York with a different hairstyle, outfit, and accent he's unrecognizable. 

He considers making his way west to get some solitude in the wilderness, but something about that initial plan feels off now that he's on the ground.

Chibodee is also Earthside for a special series of prize fights aimed at raising charitable appeal for the US in the eyes of Neo Americans.

Domon decides to hit up Chibodee for a fight on a day between matches hoping it'll clear his head and give him the clarity to decide on a course of action. What ends up happening is an unexpected heart to heart via blows and a breakdown.

Domon is happy for Rain and Kyoji, and he knows it's not true; but he feels like he lost a piece of himself when his relationship with Rain fell apart.

Domon's instinct is to run after that but Chibodee knows this city and Domon doesn't hide out for long before Chibodee drags him back to his place to stay and just "Chill out and breathe. You don't have to be anyone but yourself here. You can take as long as you need to find out what everything changing means for you." Friends and teammates stick together.

So Domon spends a few weeks with Chibodee sparring and hanging out in New York. Chibodee does a frankly awesome job at containing his feelings because he's focusing on Domons feelings and being a good friend first and foremost. Whatever he's feeling can wait until after Domon is done going though it.

There's a bit of a twinge in Domon's heart as he leaves that he can't really place.

After he returns to Neo Japan and gets settled back into life with his family, The Dreams start.

They're mainly set in New York. Small things first like noticing Chibodee's smile and his eyes. Then sparring sessions that begin to turn lurid.

He thought these kinds of dreams would stop after he was married.... he doesn't know what to do about this.

I just figure it gives more clarity and sense of time for the journey from Comphet Marriage Dissolution to Feelings to Confession. Idk.

But I got stuck on a bit and then had this thought and needed to get it down before I lost it and it was so long it made sense to make it its own post as opposed to several replies.

The Maize and Clown Motel will probably still be 3 years and change post canon for clarification.

@thedragonchilde @amplexadversary @youreaclownnow

[alluralater]

okay so i asked an old hookup for one of my hoodies back and god i feel SO nervous about the whole thing like— i stopped seeing this person over two years ago but the hoodie was my mom’s and it’s basically an heirloom at this point considering she had it for my whole life. and this person, i stopped seeing them because things got super super complicated. but i actually really did like them and now i just ugh. i’m not the nervous type whatsoever and i keep feeling like at any moment im going to throw up just thinking about seeing them again after all this time. i specifically didn’t take back that hoodie in the first place because i knew if i saw them i’d fold instantly and want to kiss them and fuck their brains out for the millionth time. i don’t like opening closed doors. i really really don’t like it. i’m an emotional bitch at the end of the day but it’s hard for me to… let it happen that way. things were so complicated and i just couldn’t handle it. texting them now i feel like i want to ask them how they are and how they’re doing but i don’t want them to think im like trying to snake my way into their life because im not. i just genuinely care about them. ugh fuck. i HATE opening closed doors. fuck me in the face, this SUCKS. how do people even handle this?? i’m like trying to be respectful while also being myself but it’s hard to just force myself to be less sweet.

this person made me feel really… happy. about so many things. cutting them off was something i had to do but i didn’t want to. i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know

[starlight---starbrights]

Undertale yellow flowey embroidery

This took about 40 hours, give or take a few

[everchased]

finally finished karlach's personal quest 🥹

WHAT a fucking gut punch. the writing (and VOICE ACTINGGGGGG) of her breakdown is so honest imo. the way she just darts back and forth between grief and anger and how, just through proximity, some of that anger gets directed at you. because why are YOU so special!! and the person she could be most upset with is dead and she killed him and that's great but she's still here and YOU get to be fine!!!!!

i held it together pretty well up until returning to camp and getting everyone's opinion on her situation. the fucking option to plead with jaheira to be on your side and maybe help convince karlach to go back to the hells until something can be done... the dialogue of "i don't know what else to do, Jaheira." and this battle-wisened woman's sympathy to that statement. that had me ugly crying for real.

i feel like right up until that point the game afforded a lot of options to not speak if you were unsure of something's outcome but not really a moment for tav (especially a good-aligned tav) to admit to the crushing reality that they can't fix this situation. for someone close to them no less. having spent days in game running around doing exactly that for people who mattered less. devastating.

anyway cleans the tear stains off my glasses i'm super good and excited to finish this playthru.

[z0mbies]

im so fucking brave.

[chatdae]

Grace FUMBLED Ryan! BAD parenting to preach respect and then act contrarily (ie saying she wants him to feel safe, then not allowing him any autonomy). She should've let him leave and come back... or at least explained why she didn't want him to leave before deciding (ex: 'Homelander will kidnap you', etc). She needed to let him make the decision for himself... agh. AAAAA.

And now Butcher's no use because he's committed to being evil and can't offer ANYTHING good to Ryan!!! He was so right, they NEEDED to give Ryan more space... I know the external pressures seemed impossible, but dammit, Grace, this was no way to beat the odds!

(this is about The Boys season four)

[v-arbellanaris]

i actually cant listen to i'm not calling you a liar except once every 3 months because the immediate emotions dragged out of me cannot be contained by my flesh prison

[dykrophone]

you'd think losing people would stop hurting as much after you've gone through it a bunch of times but I guess if humans can learn to love over and over with the same or even greater intensities it makes sense that the following pain of losing said people you give that love to is proportional each time too

[echinocereus]

Anne Rice said apathy is monstrous.

Anne Rice said that to question and grapple with your sense of humanity and morality is what makes one human.

Anne Rice said that our sense of aesthetics is inherently tied to our morals.

[hinamie]

recent itfs draws caption