#but my brain said ELABORATE

[vicsy]

hold down, rewind

2,6k, mature, Daniel/Max. read on AO3.

I want to say huuuuuuge thanks to @leclerctops for putting up with me, reading through this mess and reassuring me that all of this makes sense. 💕 As usual, shout out to the Bread server, I love you all so much for inspiring me to write again.

Daniel processes his journey back home, curses time for its existence and kisses Max like a deja vu.

Time is a flat circle or whatever shit people keep saying on the internet; Daniel doesn't really keep up with the buzz, can't grasp the full meaning of it even if he tried amidst the turmoil of his homecoming. And yeah, everyone keeps calling it that.

For all Daniel knows, time is not some fucking circle; it's something he's constantly running out of. Time is never on his side. 

Daniel wouldn't, by all means, call himself a believer in fate or a higher power but he'd send a thank you card to the universe if a chance ever presents itself. Or if he goes completely off the rails. His journey back home – and, yeah, he's calling it home now, he's rolling with the punches – to him reads more like returning from a failed conquest, dragging his battered body to where he can lick his wounds in peace; to somewhere he feels safe enough to admit to the failures that befell him. 

Time, that bitch, would never be kind enough to him so he stops treating it like a commodity. Slaps a handle with care sticker on the whole thing and keeps on living. Without an ounce of regret, though, just with a bunch of lessons learned, a bruised ego, thicker skin and a face card that never declines.

Maybe something is wrong with time. Maybe Daniel has some screws loose in his head, not a surprise after the year he's had. Reality feels off, warped, tilted on its axis as he signs the dotted line and jokes around with Christian; poses for some photographs and records a couple of videos for good PR; greets the mechanics and Red Bull staff, who still consider Daniel one of their own more than a driver for a rival team. Frankly, he always kind of hated the taste of papaya.

It doesn't truly hit him until he's clad in dark-blue colors for the first time in what seems like forever. In what seems like lost time. It's then that he feels something catching up to him, scratching the back of his neck; asking him to turn around and witness the chances he's missed. Daniel won't look back, no way in hell. Only forward now, where the future is still uncertain but ignorance offers familiar comfort.

They say that the greatest and most impactful historical events tend to circle back and repeat themselves, like a curse of a lifetime. In Daniel's case, this for sure isn't that, barely an event. Those words are too big for an Australian boy with braces who just wanted to race all around the world, lost his way in the process, and defied all odds for a second chance. 

This time, the whole Red Bull shebang would not be the same. Daniel isn't an active part of the grid but he wanted it that way, even if some fuckers on the internet call him a show pony now. He feels indebted to the team, all the squabbles laid to rest in the past where they belong. He'll put the work in now, he'll prove his weight in gold. A time comes when Daniel would get back into a race car under his own number or abandon it altogether, douse his life in gasoline and light up a match. In his wreckage of a mind, the decision is still up for grabs. 

Daniel is not always there, at the Red Bull garage. He kicks back and lets time slip through his fingers like sand in the hourglass. Stays in Perth for so long he forgets where his passport is. Makes up for years of lost time with his family, fools around on their farm like a kid; goes on elaborate adventures with his friends, indulges in his every insane whim and finally laughs, unburdened. Time, ever the killjoy, only feeds his hunger. 

He gets the itch under his skin the moment a new season actually starts, an alarm going off in his head, shrieking you should be racing, you should be training, you should be driving. And Daniel isn't in that place, doesn't miss it, he doesn't– except he fucking does. Has to google what FOMO is because Scotty won't stop bothering him, saying he has it like some kind of disease. Daniel promptly tells him to fuck off. Time's still not right. 

Thing is, he fucking hates his friends for being right. And it's not like Daniel is… absent or something. He went to pre-season testing, all smiley and full of joy, fresh off vacation. At the track, Daniel didn't stay still for a single second. He chatted with Red Bull mechanics about the changes in the car, grilled them for all the details; distracted Max by telling him the most annoying jokes he knows, like Max hasn’t heard more of them during the short time they spent together off-season — tucked away safely on Daniel's farm, a secret to the outside world. He even got on well with Checo, not minding some tension. It was all fine. Daniel didn't feel out of place, sticking out like a sore thumb. It was fine.

When the lights go out in Bahrain, Daniel is not fine. Sitting in front of the TV in his Monaco apartment, not fine. He wants to curse the natural passage of time for the fact that his life is playing out on the screen while he's on the fucking sidelines. By choice, he has to remind himself, and yet he yearns to feel the fire ignite inside of him, but there is a dull ache in its stead. Daniel stares at his phone, at the thumbs-up emoji Max sent him as a response to his good luck message. On the screen, they're five laps in. 

Daniel spent a month leading up to the season giving out interviews, repeating word for word, it's a new exciting chapter of my life and Red Bull does feel like home to me, like coming back to family and people have different, uh, reactions to me joining the team as a third driver and I'm focusing on doing what would be best for me in the long run. This and so many other rehashed sentences that Daniel treats like a doctrine, like the only true testament to exist in the world — the one he desperately wants to believe in. But all of it is pure bullshit. People telling him he came back to Red Bull because it’s easy and he’s washed is bullshit; trying and failing to accept that he’s back at square one, not even a real driver, is bullshit. Time is unfair and cruel to Daniel and he has no one to place the blame on, wandering like an exile in a world that was once at his feet. 

He wishes for many things, honestly. To rebuild his career brick by brick; get back on the grid; not read dumb comments about his life on the internet; quit racing for good if it keeps hurting him. Stop worrying about time. But whatever Daniel wants to build from scratch is already there, waiting, after he willingly let it slip away. A couple of years ago, Daniel would have laughed at the prospect of crawling back to his old stomping grounds. You can’t go back in time, you can’t come back home and find it as it was. Right? Right. 

As the Daniel Ricciardo he is today, he couldn't not appreciate the irony. 

Time is a weird fucking concept, an indomitable force of the universe, but Daniel wouldn’t mind taking control of it, mould it to his liking, do some minor time travel while he’s at it. If he’s not behind the wheel of a Red Bull car, maybe a Delorean will do; he’ll take it for a spin, blissfully ignore Doc Brown’s lessons on messing up a timeline — it’ll do shit to whatever he wants fixed.  

At the back of his mind, Daniel knows the universe is teaching him a lesson, but he's never been good at those, so he wishes he could skip this part straight to the one where he finds atonement.

“I missed you in this, in– blue,” Max blurts out, shy, cheeks flushed a lovely pink and Daniel doesn’t need a fictional car to fling himself into the past anymore. 

On the dingy couch in his driver’s room, sitting an arm’s length from Daniel, Max looks too young again, eighteen again, with a puppy crush written all over his face. Daniel does an honest to god double take and his memory hits him with a flashback, the same setting about six years ago. Maybe he is wrong in the head. Or maybe he's just been blind and busy trying to grasp the concept of forces beyond his comprehension to see how Max was always the one who stayed, an unchanged constant of Daniel's otherwise turbulent being. A lifeline he's been clinging to as if he was drowning. 

"Aw, Maxy, you're gonna make me blush," he jokes in self-defense, throat tight, and– it's weird since Daniel's been wearing Red Bull colors for a couple of months now. He gets it a beat later — missed you at the races, Max means. Daniel missed himself that way, too. 

Max looks soft and happy, not wearing a cap for once, and Daniel reaches out to him with a quiet come here, sweetheart, forever unable to resist. Max climbs into his lap eagerly, with practiced ease, and loops his hands behind Daniel's neck. He can’t help but stare with warmth in his eyes before tilting his own head back and bringing Max down. 

It’s a gentle press of lips to lips at first, a quiet hello between them, an I missed you that they won’t say enough times. It doesn’t take long for Daniel to turn things around, slip his tongue past Max’s plush lips, tug at the hair behind his ear and make it dirty. Daniel deepens the kiss, swallows a whimper Max lets out, the inside of his mouth smooth and hot. It makes them both dizzy. Daniel strokes Max’s side up and down, draws circles on his hip, squeezes his thigh before slipping his hand underneath the hem of the tiny shorts Max is wearing, palm flat against supple skin. He gasps at the teasing touch and Daniel reminds himself not to get carried away now. 

Their first time back together in the same time zone, Daniel locked the flimsy door of the room shut, spread Max naked on that same couch, screwed two fingers inside of him and told him to keep quiet, the thrill of getting caught hanging heavy in the air. And certainly, Max couldn’t, not later when Daniel started fucking him in earnest, messy and fast, little ahs echoing in the small space they shared. Daniel moved forward with a harsh thrust and clamped his palm over Max’s mouth mid-shout. Kept fucking him shallow, eyes locked on his, waiting for a reaction, a sign. Max nodded against the stiff cushion, chest heaving with rabbiting breaths. Daniel got them both off like that. Came into the tight heat of Max with a hard gasp, pushing his head into the couch, feeling his mouth try to move under Daniel’s palm with a stifled moan; watched Max come undone beneath him, his stomach sticky with come and sweat, legs trembling at Daniel’s sides. 

Today is race day, so anything beyond would be a no-go, but there’s less rush. Daniel is in the paddock for the first time as a Red Bull driver and on his home soil, too. It feels special and nerve-wracking. Daniel forces himself not to think about it, dials it down a bit, and chooses to focus on mapping Max’s back with his hands, moving to place them on the curve of his ass. Slick sounds of kissing ring loudly in the silence around them. Max cards through his hair messily and Daniel grips him by the jaw, fingers pressed firmly into the bone there, feeling it move as they kiss, losing the sense of time. 

Max is a changed man now, too. Bigger, a new broadness to his shoulders, and so much bolder, unashamed to arch his body into Daniel’s with a lazy roll of his hips. It makes Daniel desperately want to crawl back into his own skin from years ago, dig that part of himself up and dust it off. With time, perhaps, he’ll come around. Until then he’ll just lick into Max’s mouth with renewed vigor, his weight solid and grounding on Daniel, wring ungodly sounds out of Max and relish in the thought of things suddenly falling back into place. 

Max chuckles into the kiss, inadvertently breaking it. His eyes get all crinkly, in that special, endearing way that makes Daniel think about finally letting the words he’s been keeping on the tip of his tongue free. 

"What?" he simply asks, lips stretched into an easy smile, something unspoken sticking to the back of his teeth. 

"Nothing, it is just," Max ducks his head, rubbing his thumb against a pulse point on Daniel's neck. "It is funny how we are doing the same here again. Do you remember?"

Daniel remembers, too much sometimes, to the point where he wants to scrub his memory clean and hit rewind on the banged-up cassette player inside his brain, relive it over and over again, until the record jams and breaks for good. But time, he learned, won't let him do that, not even in exchange for the most precious riches of the world. Daniel wouldn't wish for it, though, not anymore. He's hit with an overwhelming clarity that he’s not alone at ground zero; that Max might just be the catalyst he’s been missing — a pleasant handful in his lap, the reason his heart always beats out of sync. 

He still won't believe in fate, but the universe just might be his gal. She relented, guiding Daniel to the right place at the right time, rewarding him a Red Bull contract, his name written in blood on paper. Took matters into her own hands to bring him back where he belongs or whatever. Gave up on the torture and let Daniel circle back to the beginning, give it another go with some knowledge to back him up this time around. He probably needs to throw some of his old convictions in the trash, but it's not the worst he's ever had to do.  

For now, Daniel needs a place to start anew; Max tethers him to it, illuminating the path home like a lighthouse.

"'Course I remember, Maxy," he manages, voice hoarse as he traces Max’s kiss-swollen lips with an index finger, touches a freckle there. “I seduced you with my wild charms and weird noises, yeah? You never stood a chance.”

Max punches him playfully on the shoulder as Daniel laughs unabashedly, his heart ten times lighter. Of course, it’s a lie. He was gone for Max from the start, his gangly limbs and all that blunt demeanor — hook, line and sinker. Took them some time to figure each other out, but here they are, signed to the same team again, sneaking away to make out on the couch like teenagers. 

To hell with time and its tricks, then. 

"It is a little bit weird, but of course in a good way," Max concludes, grinning crookedly, pressing his chest closer to Daniel. He feels Max’s heartbeat mingle with his, nothing but a layer of navy-blue fabric between them. "How we end up in the same position like years before. And you are back on the team now. It is almost the same."

Daniel thinks back to the string of events leading up to this, like he’s some hero in search of redemption with a chip on his shoulder the size of Australia. 

“You know how some folks out there say,” he drawls, tugging Max down to kiss him stupid. “Time is a flat circle, baby.”

[daily-sifloop]

Siffrin gets too bored wandering around the House and calls Loop just to flirt with them

Day 37: maybe think it through first?

[leelreallylikespersona]

This started off as something silly, but then

This was super fun to do (✿◕‿◕✿)

Definitely didn't think of a whole AU while making this poster...

Just the guys:

And the super rough idea because I think it's funny

[ratcandy]

Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications

So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.

Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.

But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.

Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update

So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.

It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:

"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."

--

"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."

And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):

And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!

And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.

So, let's get this straight.

Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).

There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."

Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.

Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?

but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.

And what's been revealed exactly?

Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)

Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)

It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that

His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him

"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him

Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh

They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this

Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)

And for... what?

In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me

And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)

And now why does this make me mad?

Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.

But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.

But beyond all that. But most importantly.

This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.

I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.

All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.

And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.

Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.

It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.

And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.

"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.

"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.

"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:

"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"

Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.

Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

Anyway, my point is

This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"

And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...

It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.

And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.

Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.

This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).

"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.

Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.

Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?

It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.

And I can't stand it.

[todayisafridaynight]

[frootbyethefoot]

watched the new batch of fionna and cake episodes. me when im in a being self destructive competition and my opponent is simon petrikov

[spicyvampire]

Okay so after the whole Sakuna/Wansarut and Phaya/Tharn "characters description" fighter (protector)/healer+protector(mediator) post, now imma talk about about our resident Snake (PhD), Doctor Chalothorn being a fighter and well how do you convince a fighter to not fight?

I've already made a whole gifset about this but I needed to put the stuff into words cuz u just can't say everything in a gifset so this post is gonna be about a few things, first of all, the way Charlothorn's goals shifted in the last 2 episodes, from wanting to kill Phaya so he can have Tharn, to wanting to save Tharn and Phaya's end not really mattering anymore, and second of all Tharn's role in this shift and where have we saw something similar to this shift before aka Wansarut and Sakuna and how Wansarut even did that

Same disclaimer as the last one applies : pulling this out of my ass from watching the show, these are raw out-of-order thoughts, ill try my best to separate but like the last post because I'm going to have to go back and forth between Wansarut (love of my life, talking about Wansarut has to be my favorite activity rn), Sakuna, Tharn (smooching him smooching him), Phaya and Chalothorn this might get hard to follow but hey that's what it's like inside my brain so welcome to the mess

Putting it under keep reading

So like I said in the last post, Chalothorn is a fighter, like you can't get more fighter than this, the man is literally the prince/ruler of Nagas and he is right in the middle of the battle field anytime there is a fight to be had, and like I said in Sakuna's part of the post he is a level that can probably can only be rivaled by Sakuna's brother, you can't be a higher level of Naga fighter from what I understand, so like how do you fight this man if you are Wansarut and Sakuna? (ep. 8)

Keep in mind that : the answer is that they never were supposed to fight Chalothorn

SCENARIO 1 : Chalothorn wins

This is what we've seen in the show, Sakuna/Wansarut/Phaya/Tharn would never win against him in a fight because they just aren't strong enough to began with, Sakuna and his Garuda were not Chalothorn's level when he was alive, Wansarut is a healer/protector not a fighter, Phaya can only do ✨Sparkles✨ of Garuda powers as of rn and while Tharn can do some powerful protecting he is of the gang the person who is the less in contact with his past and magical self (other than for protecting Phaya magic, we have not even seen his Naga in this lifetime) and also his past self wasn't even a fighter, so it makes sense that Chalothorn just keep killing them and every single one of their reincarnations, he kills them so much that it was destroying his own soul (ep. 8) because surprise he is getting affected by the little cyclic karma thingy they got going on too, this isn't just about Wansarut/Sakuna and PhayaTharn, Chalothorn is trapped in this shit too

Clearly fighting is not the answer, because even if you win, which Chalothorn has been doing a lot of, you still lose, Chalothorn is losing control of his Naga form, not only does it destroy his soul (ep. 8) but he might just not be able to turn into his human form anymore aka would be forced to be a Naga forever (ep. 9)

Another lost of this is that he keeps losing Wansarut and having to wait for the cycle to start again so he would get another chance, like the level of psychological damage getting done to him because he kills the one he loves and he is always left behind alone to wait is enough to drive anybody insane (ep. 11)

And I think that's one of the reasons why it took him so long to understand that he should let Wansarut/Tharn go, because when you do something so despicable and keep doing it over and over again you have to justifies your bad actions to yourself so you don't break and the more you justifies them the harder it becomes to see clearly through them, so you just keep doing it, like Chalothorn probably hates himself more than he even hates Phaya or love Tharn at this point because he keeps killing reincarnations of Wansarut, like this is his reaction to killing Wansarut the first time, falling to his knees screaming and everything (ep. 8), the cognitive dissonance in that man's brain must be insane

SCENARIO 2 : Phaya wins

Now let's imagine for a second there that they did win, Phaya succeeded in killing Charlothorn, and then what? Isn't Charlothorn just gonna reincarnate and come back for them again? Like yes it might take some times but it will happen, and then Phaya and Tharn would be the one destroying their souls and making their karma worst, that's just not a solution

Also we saw with Narong's case part of the show that "victim turned attacker" is not the answer (anyways that's what the show says), when Tharn and Phaya are talking to the abbot at the end of episode 5 the abbot keep repeating that over and over again killing is not the answer

When Phaya Says "Those victims are left with no choice but to fight back in order to survive. They have to kill." The abbot answers "The basic code of moral conducts for human beings like us is the 5 precepts. One should be abstained from killing other living beings. These precepts can bring peace and happiness to your family and the society. Undertaking the 5 precepts will benefit not only yourself but also the people around you." Basically straight up telling them that [not killing] is the only answer that will bring peace to everyone

Also so many parallels can be made between Narong and Chalothorn (which is probably why it was easy for Chalothorn to possess Narong to attack Phaya but let's not get into that), because like isn't this Chalothorn? (ep. 5)

His mind is so clouded by anger and wanting to kill Phaya and getting Tharn that he is obsessed with it, he literally do not see anything else, specially if Phaya is in the room and/or mentioned, like I said a bit higher in this post, he hates Phaya, but he probably hates himself too, and so much hate and anger just blinds people

Also sidenote that I'm not really gonna dive into : How do you think Tharn would feel about Phaya killing Chalothorn, knowing what u know about him? like Tharn loves Chalothorn as a friend, and that's even if Chalothorn is responsible for all the bad things in his life (ep. 12)

Tharn may be looking at Chalothorn saying this but he said "Please stop killing each other." he could not be more clearly talking to both of them, he doesn't want Chalothorn to kill Phaya but he also doesn't want Phaya to kill Chalothorn

SCENARIO 3 : Tharn Wins

Now lemme say this, you can literally never convince a fighter by fighting him, like if you've ever had a fight/argument with someone you know that you cannot reach a compromise in the heat of the fight when everyone is angry and losing the control of their emotions, it just doesn't work, but what does work in the context of the show?

Wansarut and Sakuna

And now I'm back to Wansarut (<3<3<3<3<3<3) and Sakuna because well Wansarut did change a fighter's mind before already, this is part of Wansarut's power that's why I also describe Wansarut as a mediator, and what did Wansarut do exactly?

Well Wansarut healed Sakuna, even if he is from the enemy side, and took care of him and acted in a way that was protective of him, even if again Sakuna is an enemy of Wansarut's people (literally brother of the Garuda king) because that Wansarut's character, Wansarut is a healer/a protect/a mediator that's how Wansarut fights (ep. 8)

Then Wansarut tough Sakuna about Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon)

And while being in love with each other did facilitate this change of view in Sakuna (which would later turn him a bit into a protector of Wansarut), you really do not need to be for this to work, like the best way to change people views on some things truly is just to expose them to the thing from the POV of the people living it, when nobody is in any immediate danger

And that is exactly how Tharn succeeded in convincing Chalothorn that the love between Phaya and him is good, by being there for Chalothorn and taking care of him, and being patient, until Chalothorn was ready to let him go on his own, not in the heat of of fight when everyone is angry and putting the blame on each other, which was again so healer/ protector/mediator of him like I talked about in my other post

Tharn and Chalothorn : the final

So with Wansarut and Sakuna we saw how Tharn could change Chalothorn's mind and what really does work, now imma dive into the last 2 episodes of this show aka the shift in Chalothorn

So in episode 6, Chalothorn says this

And at that time I think those words were true cuz that's literally what he has been doing isn't it? Like everytime he lost, both Wansarut and Sakuna's reincarnations died, so he was "okay" with killing Wansarut, as long as it meant that Sakuna was also dead and they weren't together (crazy way to fight cognitive dissonance if you ask me) but then something changed around episode 11 because Chalothorn started saving Tharn even if Phaya was still alive? (Ep. 11) (ep.12)

The importance of Chalothorn saving Tharn those 2 times, is that 1) now Tharn knows what the fuck is going on and 2) (like I said in the other post) Tharn end up understanding that Chalothorn can be talked too and reasoned with (the abbot would call it enlightenment), because in that 2nd saving he told Chalothorn to not kill Montee, and Chalothorn listened

Sidenote : Wansarut also did tell Chalothorn to not kill Sakuna and Chalothorn did listen that time too, like Wansarut has a BIG influence on this man (wish we saw their relationship before the mess), the only reason why the fight did continue was because Sakuna did not let Wansarut go

Why did he listen then? because he loves Wansarut, it really is as simple as that, and that's why he also listened to Tharn with Montee, because our chronically involuntary celibate man is head over dick for Tharn (valid and relatable)

So remember when I was talking about cognitive dissonance and stuff, well by ep 12, Chalothorn cannot justifies killing Tharn anymore, he is tired, he is turning into a Naga, and he cannot stand seeing another reincarnation of Wansarut die again, but most importantly he cannot stand to see Tharn die by his own hands

It's easy to concentrate on Phaya's distress in this scene but Chalothorn is in as much distress as Phaya, you can hear Chalothorn's voice break when Tharn is dying in both Phaya and his arms after asking them to stop killing each other, they are both screaming Tharn's name, and this time Chalothorn just listen because this is too much, his hatred for Phaya is just not important anymore, killing Phaya is just not as important anymore because anyways Tharn did choose him didn't he? isn't that what he wanted? even if Tharn clearly is in love with Phaya, Tharn did choose to come with him, so in a way none of this shit even fucking matters anymore

So for the 3rd time, he saves Tharn, this time by literally giving Tharn his soul so he would live (wish we saw him breaking down over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves until he ended up giving Tharn his soul tbh), Chalothorn chooses to save a life instead of ending one and thus ending the curse on his part

[ipsen]

re 76 or smth idk

[aotearoa20]

when your trying to remember the name of finarfins kids but youve just been watching house if the dragon and your 'fantasy character begining with a' quota is way past capacity

so you sitting here like a drunk Finwë at the end of a banquet desperately going

Aeron? aeris? argo? argon? Ah it should be argon!? Why isnt it argon?

[scottpilgrim4everr]

Scott Pilgrim /affectionate

Scott Pilgrim /derogatory

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it

[thewickerking]

had a dream I had a boyfriend and he wanted to come to a therapy session to talk abt smn unrelated to our relationship (this was 100% cool with me) but my therapist instantly hated him and she was like "justify to me why you're here 🤨🤨🤨 name something u like abt ridley and then maybe ill let u talk" like what 😭😭 it was just me being a mediator bc they were arguing. Which is insane it was like couples therapy but evil

[naquey]

yk i didn't find out i was on the aromantic spectrum until like, literally this year because I thought being on the aromantic spectrum was about not having romantic feelings. But. That is farther from the truth. I had so much trouble and struggled a lot in relationships because I didn't realize I was mixing up romantic attraction with wanting to be friends.

I thought that by wanting to get closer to people, I just wanted to date them and do a couple of things, but then when I ended up dating those people, I put myself in a world of misery because it didn't turn out the way I wanted, or we broke up, and they were no longer in my life. It turns out this entire time, I just wanted friends because I was a lonely child and only ever had 1-2 friends my entire life. And this isn't to say that arospec/acespec ppl can't feel romantic attraction, but sandwiching my feelings into the the stereotype box of what alloromantic ppl felt was what ultimately hurt me in the end.

Now, I know I want friends when I talk to people and start thinking they're cool or pretty because my brain is trying to tell me, "Hey, talk to this person more. Get closer, and exchange dumb memes."

TLDR; society's standards of love and romance can suck it

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

While not mentioned by name, there was an anon ask a while back in Onippep that mentioned about how some fake peps are going through angst about their past memories while over there they were having frog flirting advice. Maybe that's what the anon meant

(Oh yeah, I remember that! That might be it, but I cannot say for sure, of course!)

[pollyna]

au in which Mav asks to Ice why is so important for him that Mav explains to Bradley why he isn't going to Annapolis when Bradley isn't his kid.

[tvrningout]

divine beings in dórverold | the raven

in this small village, there is a local myth that mothers tell their children to discourage them from sneaking out at night. they speak of a creature that lives in the wood -- a creature which gave the forest its name. the ravenwood. the creature itself is something unnatural to this world, perhaps the result of misused magic or a mischievous spirit. while a king's blood is pure and strong, it seems unlikely that a raven could grow to be something so monstrous from devouring such a heart. this creature is said to be half bird, half human. it is said to be grotesquely large, towering over even the tallest men with its awkwardly long limbs and giant wings. would the gods have created a being so unsuited to live among its children? no. only mortals or fiends could be responsible. despite its appearance, the villagers say this creature is fair, that it holds great power within its birdlike talons, yet it exercises that power only if asked or provoked. a man once sought it out to kill it and take its power, and the creature devoured him whole in front of the village; the same creature, however, is said to have helped an ill child survive its sickness in exchange for a mere bushel of herbs. it is a wonder that kindness has found its way into the creature's myth when often these stories are meant to be cautionary tales. my curiosity has gotten the better of me as well as my desperation. should the creature be nothing but a monster of the old world, forgotten and hungry, then i will at least meet my death standing upon my own feet. should the creature be as fair as the villagers say, then there is hope for my condition. either result is better than this being a wasted trip. i have so little time left.

" must you snoop through my things? "

bronwyn sets down the leather-bound journal, a smirk upon ruby lips. " you know how bored i get, ambrose. it's your fault for taking so long. " the man rolls his eyes.

" i do apologize for being busy. it is only a kingdom that i am running, and i suppose protecting our borders is not so pressing. "

her smirk grows into a grin, and bronwyn settles down in the cushioned chair sat before ambrose's desk. she rests her elbow on the armrest, her cheek upon her palm. " ruling suits you. no one can hit a king for being snarky. "

" they could, but they might regret it. "

there's a beat of silence as bronwyn plucks a picture frame from the king's desk. there is a sketched portrait of his children -- a little girl and a boy a few years older. ambrose certainly has not wasted the extra time given to him.

" you are here to finally collect payment, i presume? "

he cannot see the raven's expression over the back of the chair. " correct. "

" and have you decided what you want? "

" yes. "

he nearly rolls his eyes at her. she hasn't changed. " and what is it you want? "

bronwyn peers around the chair's back, dark eyes glinting, and despite all his bravado, ambrose's skin crawls for a moment. she hasn't changed, nor has the unsettling feeling she so easily instills. he remembers the way his voice caught in his throat, the way his hands trembled, the shiver that ran down his spine when he first met bronwyn. he truly thought himself a dead man standing, waiting. maybe he was. maybe he is.

but, of course, bronwyn surprises him just as she did all that time ago with a smile that makes him feel less like a king and more like a mouse.

" i want your army. "