#but my days are running me thin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sensitivegoblin · 2 years

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Vent pls don’t rb it’s weird to do that

#i miss feeling beautiful n sexy #i miss having hope that one day someone’s gonna love me #there’s not a day that goes by anymore where I don’t have to vividly imagine my suc!d3 in order to escape from my shittty reality #I’m so tired #i can’t sleep #i keep having vivid dreams where my cat didn’t die he just got lost #and it rips my heart out waking up every time without him #i wanna die so bad my life is so shit #i try to be good and there’s no thank you for it #there’s no relief #I’m never going to be loved #all I’m ever good for is my bitch pet ‘ill do anything’ attitude and my sexuality #not even my body I’m just some gross thing everyone gets off to secretly not deserving of real love #i fucking hate Valentine’s Day #message me if you wanna block the ass that broke my heart and being #I’m still gonna try to be the bigger person and not put him #but my days are running me thin #I’m fighting everyday not to take the sciccors and end it all #it does NOT get better #everyone fucking lied #the only way to be happy is money.#i just wanna die so I can be with my babies

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hella1975 · 3 months

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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours #which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart #not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently #EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that #there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM #THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS #and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME #LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED #so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour #like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally #have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week #but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN #and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE #FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR #AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill #it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about #and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors #and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593 #my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it #bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment #i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time #i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin #and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day #omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES #LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS #hella slaves to capitalism

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pushing500 · 5 months

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We left Loyalty's Meander at the same time our last guests did. Apparently, the horrible murder-cult vibes weren't enough to deter them, so now we have allies! That's nice, I guess.

Blackthorn learned to walk while we were road-tripping and I couldn't get this scene from Ice Age out of my head while I was trying to draw it so you just get the scene instead.

Thanks to the vehicle mod, it only took us eight days to get here, so here we are! I can't wait to see the ship!

hmmmmmmmm

there is... no ship

That is problematic. We'll try to mine into those mountains and see if there's a ship hidden in there somewhere, but I fear this may call for some Dev Mode intervention from Ecthuctu themselves...

Duchess now is not a good time

Curly, that is RUDE. Ecthuctu will not be impressed by this slight, mark my words... Terrible things are coming for you.

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yshtal · 24 days

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every day that I wake up in emprise du lion is another day I get closer to storming the black city to take down the maker himself

#‘the black city’ being the lighthouse and ‘the maker himself’ being probably solas imo #but STILL I hate that place I hate that place I hate that place #the high level wolves. the red templars EVERYWHERE. the world’s worst ocularium with 6 (!!!) godforsaken shards I can’t find #I spent 15 minutes trying to find the last shard on that one and had to turn off the game because it made me MOTION SICK #the level design is so annoying to me like I hate the layout and I hate the ugly dirty snow and I hate running around the stupid quarry #I am an emprise du lion hater first and foremost and I dread going there every playthrough #the fade is empty and all the demons are here #(imshael you’re on thin ice because I do fuck with you)#also ALSO this is the spot I get felandaris from #and it makes me so unreasonably upset to have to get this far in the game just to complete one (1) hinterlands quest!!!!!!!#letter from a lover quest you will never be good #not that I can ever clear my hinterlands request because of the FERELDAN LOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAARRRGGHH I am snapping and biting #dragon age #dai #emprise du lion #haters only in this household #(solas is the maker truthers rise up tho)

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drawbudd · 7 months

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LOVE WINS???

#wow actually me talking #Cult of the lamb #I'm?????#I literally had no idea that could even HAPPEN in cult of the lamb???#Anyways I would die for them now I guess #Like from time to time I'm doing chores around the cult and I'll see them give a lil smooch before returning to whatever they were doing #And every time i like #Go into sopping wet cat mode #Shoutout to the two slowly aging disciples who have been through thick and thin real #Webber from being in my cult since like the start of the game (I'm at like day 140 or something)#And amdusias who has died like 4 times at least (and has also dissented and tried to run off just as many times)#Like he's such a traitor at heart but I revived him like twice because of quests and this time just because I was bored #It was purely out of spite like yeah let's bring that bitch back again. Why not #And then love happened!!!#This hasn't stopped him though amdusias has dissented twice since then #But this time around he has his priest bf to talk to him and hold his hand through it :)

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moongothic · 24 days

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Quick round-up of a few small projects; Scarf. It is a scarf. Used the remaining silk/wool yarn I had left from when our yarn store closed, the yarn was really thin so I ended up holding it double and yeah, got a really cute, comfy Halloween-y scarf. Very happy to have it. I do regret making the stripes as thick as I did, like they look cute but between that and me making the scarf a smidge too wide, I ended up having to cut the scarf shorter than I would've liked because I didn't have enough yarn to make it any longer- at least not with evenly sized stripes. Like had they been thinner I could've repeated the pattern a little longer, but oh well, it is what it is. With the scrap yarn I just made this ugly little neck warmer, and yeah, it'll keep my neck warm indoors.

And then, using the scrap yarns from the bleeding heart sweater, made a very Crimbus-y beanie. Sidenote but I did actually pre-wash the fucking red yarn before knitting this, because I did not want a repeat of the dye bleeding incident. But yeah, it's a beanie. Again, held the yarn double this time and I'm glad I did because oh, it made the beanie so soft. It is so comfy y'all, I can not wait for December so I can wear it. I still have more of that red yarn left though. No clue what I'm doing with it.

#Moon posting #Yarncraft Diary #Yarnblr #Knitblr #Knitting #Why yes you ARE getting two crafting posts in one day today #Look if my neck gets even a little cold I will end up with a sore throat in an instant. But nothing I own has a high collar/turtleneck #And I don't want to wear scarfs indoors that's just inconvenient for me #So the little neckwarmer actually works fine for me #Hilariously I did actually run out of the white Malabrigo when doing the rim of the beanie #And I was just gonna leave it the way it was but once I was done and looked at it... I just needed a white pompom SO BADLY #The hat looked so sad and miserable without one #So while I was getting the plushie stuffing I did end up getting one ball of like some Drops wool/alpaca yarn (it was on discount too)#Just so I'd have something to make the pompom with because. Yeah I had no white yarn in my stash beyond some thin cotton yarns #Which do not work for making pompoms. (Trust me I tried and ended up wasting yarn) (Used it for plushie stuffing but still)#The natural white of the Drops matches the Malabrigo perfectly though so you literally wouldn't be able to tell it's a different yarn #Like maybe if you looked closely you might notice the rim is knit double (so the actual yarn there is thinner) but that's it #IDK I know what I want my next actual knitting project to be but my scrap yarns are haunting me and I wanna use them up first...#And it is nice to do smaller projects like these from time to time #But also yeah I'm getting tired of trying to figure out What The Fuck To Make with small quantities of yarn

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ereborne · 1 month

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Song of the Day: August 22

“When I Go” by Dave Carter & Tracy Grammer

#song of the day #it is indeed today's song! it's a good one to roll around in my head so I'm not surprised I've kept with it #'spring spirit dancer nimble and thin / I will leap like coyote when I go #tireless entrancer lend me your skin / I will run like the gray wolf when I go #I will climb the rise at daybreak / I will kiss the sky at noon / raise my yearning voice at midnight to my mother in the moon #I will make the lay of long defeat and draw the chorus slow #I'll send this message down the wire / and hope that someone wise is listenin when I go'#lovely lovely thing it is

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coridallasmultipass · 2 months

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You're having a better day than me.

#just finished my fucking shower and dried off and went to give my hair one more squeeze and bumped the...#...hanging pot above my head (there are 2 but this fern died) and the fucking dollar tree rope broke and got all over #theres sand in it and to even get out of the tub i had to just rinse my legs so i dont track dirt all over my ...#... already bare floor (carpet padding is being replaced) in order to get the paper towels #had to wait like 10 minutes for the water to drain thru the drain catch before i could step out #then waste so many paper towels wiping up as much sand as i could ffs man. i was CLEAN.#then shower AGAIN. and use the same towel that was mostly clean but ALREADY USED AND WET #BC I WAS DONE SHOWERING AND ABOUT TO STEP OUT WHEN THIS HAPPENED #i yelled so loud i was so mad the instant it happened i knew it was a disaster. surprised no one in the house came to see #so yeah. no more shower plants allowed. i see the other pots rope is thinning so i gotta remove that one too #after i spent so long installing the hooks lmao. gotta figure out what to put there then. maybe suncatchers idk.#man it sucks so hard. that dirt was DRY and i breathed in so much dust i couldnt blow out after i was done #shower thoughts #lol #funny #what do i even tag this man lol #indoor plants #shower plants #srsly tho i was so scared i fucked up the plumbing but when i showered after it was running fine so i think the sand didnt go thru the sieve #im gna be on edge abt it for a while tho #2024 has been brutal on me #on the off chance someone seeing this post is having a worse day than this. i love you and i hope it gets better.#Cori.exe #Image.exe #me #would you love me if i was a worm #dirt #soil #oh worm?#wormcore

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kavehater · 7 months

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I need Santa Eid to give me a lobotomy for Eid al-Fitr

#if I see that one word one more time I’m gonna give myself a lobotomy #“patience is a virtue” well my patience is running thin and my brain is deteriorating what now #every day it’s every day man 🧍‍♀️#dora Daily #reason one is because of that one topic and the secondary reason is cause can people just tell me they hate me and don’t want to be friends #anymore to my face I’m so tired very very tired. just say it bro idec atp I’ve lost more people than you could imagine I don’t careeeee #all I want is the truth otherwise I’ll start tweaking even more 😭#hshshshsjsiwsnsn

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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...

#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again #it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof #is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head #my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the #middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up #like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable #bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to #ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on #lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life #anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been #like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i #might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it #i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt #the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective #but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work #but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops #not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy #ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day #ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time #ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea #of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i #get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism #ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes #unrelated

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toxicrevolver · 1 year

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Thanks for the tag @onlyoneofsideblogtrashheep !!!!!

(Receiptify link)

I’m too tired to tag anyone so if you wanna participate you can!!

#tag game.#about the weirdo who runs this blog #LOOK. I CAN EXPLAIN.#okay I actually can’t.#BUT ALL OF THESE SONGS SLAP AND KEEP GOING ON REPEAT.#THE MACARENA DANCE PART OF SHALALA LIVES RENT FREE IN MY HEAD CURRENTLY.#also. if you haven’t yet I suggest looking into BoyNextDoor. they’re concept is super cute and they’re music is catchy as hell…#I will protect those children with my life (their ages are ‘03-‘06 hence children.)…#TX2 is a random emo guy I found in tiktok one day and his music has just stuck around. it’s catchy and hella accurate with current issues.#ALSO. for the number of times I’ve listened to Super Bowl I never realized the song is completely in English until I saw the lyric booklet..#my brain literally never noticed.#ALSO ALSO. BITE ME GOES SO HARD. ITS SUCH A GOOD SONG. AND THE CHOREO IS DOPE.#AGAIN. PROTECTING THOSE CHILDREN WITH MY LIFE.#also. random side note. I hate the font on mobile for the tags when editing/reblogging posts. it’s too small and thin. put it back.#another note. I refer to anyone younger than me as children so yes most of ENHYPEN are adults I will acknowledge that but to me they’re kids #I’m sorry for so many tags. (but only a little. I ramble a lot).

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sbnkalny · 2 years

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John Madden, saint PAUL שאול התרס, georgeous hairy sun, DONGER And an immense army of dancing, shouting willow bushes, closing in (without a sense of myself, oh Well, I guess we Just don't know how you were diverted you are so thin! your stomach’s flat! Lady, your baby is probably why he rebelled against the empire.

#QUOTE #DAY 6 #When I said moist CHUNKY slurp? don't do something before it swoops down on you...Well #just don't come running to me! You are so thin! your stomach’s flat! lady #your baby is probably dead! will not be wasting my Bread on liars!” he said

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piplupod · 11 months

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I think I'm going to have to move my entire sleep setup (aka whole bed) into a different room or something because mother is going to be very sick for a very long while (potentially a few months) and therefore will be doing her restless sleep walking around and sitting in the loud chair in the room above my bedroom ;-;

I feel awful for her ofc but oh dear god I do not know how I'm going to cope with sleeping in any other room because the bugs are So Bad in every room that isn't my bedroom

#im uhm. not doing well to say the least fhfjdl #i dont know where she'll be tonight but I've been working on some longtime cleaning catchup today #so i do not have the energy (and also my back has been killing me lately for some reason) to move my setup today #so hopefully... she will be in the living room tonight. but we'll see #I'd rly like One More decent night in my bedroom dhfjdl before i move shit around hopefully tomorrow #i really am not doing well though fhfjdl this is shaking up all my routine and plans and stuff esp as we're going into winter... very rough #trying to be good about it though and not completely break down every other day but fhdksl im running thin at this point #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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this-should-do · 1 year

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ugh

#genuinely think if i dont get therapy and medical transition soon i might actually kill myself #life is too fucking much and i cant take this shit anymore #its unfair that i got unlucky in the genetic draw and got sruck with the stupidest most feminine body in the world #and that being fat when i live the exact same lifestyle as thin people makes kt easier to tell that im born female #and that even if i do all the working out in the world its not gonan fucking chnage the way my body looks and manages its distribution #and that i have the face and mouth of every single fat comedy side character or fat villain #and that ive lived my whole life hearing about how pretty and wonderful i look and how i look like my grandmother #and that im short and have almost all my weight below my torso so i look like the worlds largest pear #and that i have a naturally soft demeanor that offsets every ounce of effort i pht into my looks to be more masc #and that i dont want to dress in baggy or sporty clothes and i dont have the budget to purchase those things even if i got desperate #or that i get overheated too easily to use layers and that i cant mentally handle being overheated #and its not fair that i cant for the life of me get my voice to cknsistantly be lower so i sound more maaculine #its not fucking fair #i cant fucking do this anymore #but im so fucking stuck reliant on ym fucking parents for mo ey that ill never get the help i need #and working as a teacher will never result in the money itll take to get the help i need #and it feels like even if i could get transition when i get a job itll be too risky with clowns like desantis #SPECIALLY as a teacher #i cant fucking look into a fucking mirror without wanting to cry and take a knife to every slab of meat that i ditn want on my body #and every day that im home im sruck hiding in my room so that i dont risk running inti my moyher and making her angry by existing #and having to affirm to her that im her little girl and be called by a name that isnt mine and pronouns that make me want to stab my ears #and be told by her that i just think im trans becuz im traumatized and dont want peole to think im attractive so they wont try to get close #to me becuz they wont know what i am when i dont even want to have sex and she says im just making that up to #my mental health is in shambles and has been for fucking months and its only getting worse #i want out #i want out so fucking bad #im tired of being jealous of my own fucking shadow becuz it looks like more of a man to me

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tasmanianstripes · 1 year

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Oh turning on a screen reader feature on my phone has been a life saver for me honestly

Less spoons required to hold up a conversation, yay!

Is this probably fucking me over with my dyslexia if I have my phone read out long messages instead of reading them myself? Probably, but I only use it when I'm tired/it's late and my spoons are running dry soooo

#thylacines can talk #I do forget this exists but using this accessibility feature makes it so much easier for me #For context I can like. Handle long messages during the day quite easily but when I'm getting sleepy or have been chatting to somebody #For a long while my spoons just. Run dry. I can usually force myself to go through with it if I am not absolutely exhausted and the topic #Is something no have extreme brainrot about #But most of the time it's. Meh #This is why I end up ignoring most dms I can only handle talking in like one maybe 2 chats at a time :[#This is why I prefer texting in servers I can talk to multiple people without running myself thin #Idk WHY discord dms have this stupid effect on me. I hate discord dms KDBDJDBD #You can tell I am tired bc I keep rambling on about unrelated things LFBDJDBFND #I hate being like this I wish I had the energy to talk to all of my friends on regular #I hate having to prioritise who I want to dm more :[

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derelictheretic · 2 years

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u mean I have to go through the rest of the game with johnny fuckhand instead of Jackie. that's what ur tellin me rn

#why did no one tell me all that happens before they even run the title like THAT WAS THE OPENING HUH #laying down face first on the ground how am I gonna face mama welles with angry keanu beating me up #I'm putting all my other wips on pause I need V and Jackie friendship moments and I need them NOW #Johnny ur in thin ice if u actually kill my boy i'm gonna kill u. i've only had him for like 3 or 4 days and I love him #nadine is typing...

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