I still think I was onto something when I said that Kim's fixation on the revolutionary air brigades felt kind of like a kid with glasses really wanting to be a firefighter and then learning that you can't be a firefighter if you don't have natural 20/20 visiom because the heat would melt plastic or cause burns from metal frames and contacts weren't a safe choice either. It feels a lot like that. He wanted to work on those aerostatics but couldn't because of his eyesight
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a sorta weird thing that's been happening in the background over the last few weeks is that my left eye is dying.
The inflammation around the optic nerve has gotten so significant that signal just isn't getting from it to my brain. It still, I was going to say works, but dear God no it doesn't. It still does as it has been doing, it's just not like. being heard. and eventually, that pinching will cut off the nerves ability to talk to my brain permanently.
The thing is is that. This can be stopped. Steroid injections and some pills taken daily. Nothing I haven't done before but I've made the decision to just let it happen.
Steroids cause cataracts. I don't know enough about this shit to explain How, but they do. Theyre why I have cataracts in both eyes.
The inflammation is caused by the amount of damage that my optic nerve has been dealt over the years of having tumors in that eye causing blood clots. It's not in good shape and there's no chance of it ever healing, just being given more time. The inflammation will keep coming back
So I have the option to take the steroids, and have one eye that barely works, and one eye that works but is eventually made useless by cataracts. or to just Not, and lose the barely functioning ones function, and not have to worry about my cataracts getting worse until I'm much older.
For me the choice felt easy but it's one everyone in my life has pushed back against.
And I guess the point, the weird thing, is that my vision is better today than it has been since I was nine because of my brain no longer trying to make the bad signal from one eye match the other.
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my take on the agnes/gertrude/elias situationship is that gertrude seems like the most normal one to outsiders (she's less prone to arson/creepy mind reading at inopportune moments), but she is still the archivist and therefore kind of eldritch. everyone in the institute has just sort of accepted that yes, the archivist does sleep with her eyes open/is muttering incantations, and it's the least weird thing she's done this week
ok the funny thing is, technically, if by "most normal" we're going off of who is the most human, Gertrude is the normal one. but I don't believe for a second that that's how she's perceived among the rest of the archive staff lmao. like...all her assistants wind up dead, she actively works to make sure her filing system is the least effective one possible, she takes random mysterious vacations and comes back looking like she's just gone ten rounds with a tornado...I absolutely think that Gertrude has the reputation of being the eccentric on staff. I've prepared this diagram to illustrate my point:
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i think stede's adorable little milf glasses
(figure 1. stede's adorable little milf glasses)
are not merely reading glasses, but full-blown prescription-grade lenses that he steadily refuses to wear because he had a hard enough time as a (gay) (autistic) child and didn't need the added mockery of needing a device to see in the 18th century, when glasses were not common devices yet
considering how this man deemed it necessary to have an entire LIBRARY on board, his penchant for escapism, and, again his history of being bullied, i think its reasonable to assume that stede has spent most of his life reading. that a lot of that reading, too, occurred by candlelight, and that this has rapidly deteriorated his vision
rather than wear glasses, though, even as an adult, he simply goes through the world with blurry vision, only bringing out his glasses for rare occasions. he doesn't even READ with them on, even though it would greatly help him. he has a mental block about using them, and they often collect dust in a drawer
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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao
i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child
no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333
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"Why do you listen to audiobooks instead of reading" I am Extremely farsighted and have nystagmus; I get eyestrain headaches after about 30 mins even with reading glasses. Thanks
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