#but nobody can see me anymore it takes away the rest of me because nobody cares to look i just want people to look

[m00ngbin]

Uh warning this whole thing is me complaining about my bones and pain and stuff so if you're sick of hearing about that you should probably ignore this

Whatever's wrong with my knee spread to my hip so I think that maybe I WILL be needing a cane or something soon and it's not just a joke I was making cause I had to keep sitting down in random places

Joke might be the wrong word because it wasn't really a joke and it wasn't funny, I was just trying to be lighthearted and it didn't seem like it was really happening or that it was probable

[satoruxx]

pairing: gojo satoru x reader summary: bestfriend!satoru has returned, fluff, pining, slightly angsty bc of pining, simp satoru hehe, oblivious reader is back again, satoru loves you !! rheya's note: continuation to this drabble bc bestfriend!satoru is everything to me !!

bestfriend!satoru who insists that you have him on speed dial because "he's the most important person in your life" but really it just satisfies him to know that he's the first one you'd call if you needed anything.

bestfriend!satoru who started off being a bit of an ass when you first met. not because he was trying to be but because he's got an ego and doesn't know how to control it, until you call him out for his shit and it sends his heartbeat all out of wack.

bestfriend!satoru who doesn't trust anyone else around you. it's not out of concern or anything, oh no. but in his expert opinion only him and the people he trusts (like suguru, shoko, or nanami) should ever get within six feet of you.

bestfriend!satoru who waits outside every class for you, leaning against the wall with a bag of your favorite snacks in his hand, glasses perched low on his nose. the smile that crawls onto his face as you walk out of the classroom and join him is practically blinding.

bestfriend!satoru who grows older thinking of nothing but you. the person most important to him, the person he would move galaxies for. and no, it's not romantic or anything. he's just your best friend.

bestfriend!satoru who realizes that he's not the only one in the world who knows that you're attractive, and has to clench his fists with a scowl as he sees other men noticing you. then he has to stop and check himself because, why on earth is he mad about it?

bestfriend!satoru who starts openly staring at you because he can't even control it anymore, eyes soft and overflowing affection as he watches you indulge in silly mundane tasks. and when you turn and catch him looking all he can do is give you a dreamy little smile. he's got no excuses but he's gonna play it off like it's something you shouldn't worry about anyway.

bestfriend!satoru who makes you his number one priority, who doesn't care about anyone else when you're in front of him. and even if you aren't around, he can't bring himself to look at anyone else. if someone comes up to him on the street, mumbling something about how he's their type and they'd like his contact info, all he does is give them a breezy wave, saying "sorry. i got someone waiting for me."

bestfriend!satoru who, when you're trying to explain something and someone speaks over you, gives you a resolute "no i'm listening." and doesn't take his eyes away from you until you've said all that you needed to. don't ever think that nobody is listening to you because you always have his attention.

bestfriend!satoru who grits his teeth as you tell him about another unsuccessful date with a man who didn't even know how to treat you right. and how could they, when they don't even know how you like your coffee or what side of the bed you prefer to sleep on? they don't know what your favorite movie snack is or about your obsession with plants or your most precious pair of fluffy socks. not the way he does.

bestfriend!satoru who has to hold himself back during your ranting, who has to keep himself from just letting go and spilling that you weren't going to find someone who loved you more than he did. to stop himself from leaning down and kissing you so hard it takes your breath away, because he's wanted to do it since he was sixteen. he was just too stupid to understand it back then.

bestfriend!satoru who chooses to wait instead, knowing that he'll be stuck with these feelings for the rest of his life, so he'd rather wait for you. because he'd hate himself if he made you uncomfortable, and if he lost the relationship he had with you now over his silly little heart. no instead, he'll keep proving himself, staying by your side and showing you even just of fraction of the devotion he knows he has for you, if it means that you'll be by his side. and hoping that one day, maybe, you'd tell him you feel the same.

[mizading]

Please could we get jealous/possessive headcanons for gojo geto and nanami <333

JJK Jealousy/Possessive Headcanons

{ Characters} Nanami, Gojo, Geto, Choso

{ Warnings } Possessive behavior, jealousy, yelling, needy behavior, etc. 

{ A/N } I usually don’t accept anonymous requests, but I decided to make an exception this time (wink). I couldn’t help but include Choso after last week’s episode. 

Nanami

Nanami won’t reveal any type of emotion until you two get home. He’s so used to remaining professional that hiding his feelings aren’t a task anymore.

Nanami is a reserved man; he would never let his jealousy show in public.

The most that Nanami will do is snake is arm around your waist. It looks innocent enough, but nobody can feel how tight his fingers grip your waist.

This is your only warning. Whatever it is that you’re doing to upset Nanami, stop.

Don’t expect Nanami to speak to you once you get home. Ignoring you is Nanami’s only way of keeping himself from lashing out.

Nanami sometimes doesn’t have the strength to simply ignore you, resulting in him lashing out. You can’t take him seriously when he looks so damn good frustrated and yelling.

The way that his dress shirt is rolled up to his elbows with a few buttons opened and his tie loosened drives you crazy. Seeing him in such a state makes you not want to talk to another man again.

It doesn’t take long for Nanami to calm down. He’ll eventually break down and embrace you, bringing his forehead to rest against yours. Skin-to-skin contact with you seems to calm his nerves and remind him that you’re all his.

Nanami will always apologize profusely for yelling at you. He genuinely hates it when he gets that worked up, but he can’t control it sometimes. Everything will be made up in whatever way you'd like.

If you name it, he’ll do it. Nanami is practically on his knees for you at all times. His world revolves around you; it’s only fair that he shows it.

Gojo

Gojo gets jealous extremely easily, and he knows it. Gojo won’t ever admit that it’s a problem, though; it’s his way of showing that he cares, after all.

Almost everything that involves another guy sets Gojo off. Conversations, stares, touches—all of it makes his blood boil. He doesn’t bother hiding any of it either.

Gojo takes joy in scaring guys off when he’s around with you. One look from Gojo’s icy blue eyes is more than enough to send any man into their grave.

The only time interactions with other males are somewhat acceptable is when Gojo is with you to “monitor” the situation. Let's not include Gojo feeling you up the entire time.

Gojo trusts you with his entire being; he just won't let anyone mess with what's his. You belong to Gojo, and Gojo only.

Gojo made it known to everyone that you’re his property. He doesn’t mean to be so possessive; he just can’t help it. The consequence for messing with what's his has also been made crystal clear.

Gojo sometimes fantasizes about him being the only man that you interact with, but he would never make that a reality. He still has some type of self-control. Don’t test Gojo, though; he’s quick to change his mind.

Arguments with Gojo really only happen because he can’t seem to control his jealousy issues. In the end, he always ends up in your arms, apologizing over and over again for raising his voice at you.

Gojo won’t control what you wear, but he’ll whine endlessly to hopefully change your mind. If you ultimately end up doing what you want, he’ll keep you awfully close while you two are out. Don’t get me wrong, he loves seeing you in your short skirts and tight tops, but he wants to be the only one to see. 

It’s all out of love, Gojo promises. Over time, he’ll work on it. Gojo knows that you’ll always be his.

Geto

Geto is quick to put an end to any unnecessary contact with another man other than him.

It’s no surprise when Geto pulls you away mid-conversation with an old friend of yours. Complaints won’t do much; if he doesn’t want you talking to someone, you won’t.

Geto doesn’t really get upset with you when he’s jealous because he takes control of the situation before his feelings can progress. It’s for your own good. Geto pissed off is a scary sight.

Geto is used to having full control over everything; I mean, he runs an entire cult. This includes you; he tends to believe that he has full control over you. It’s not on purpose, just instinct.

His control over you is mainly for your safety. Geto’s lifestyle isn’t safe, and he knows. He’d rather die than have anything happen to you, no matter how big or small.

Geto is very possessive and overprotective because of this. You belong to him completely, and nobody can get to you unless he allows it.

You mainly put up with his possessive behavior because Geto is honestly all you can ask for in a man and more. He’d do absolutely anything for you, and it’s more than the truth.

Geto won’t tell you that he was jealous until it’s just the two of you in bed. Something about snuggling up with you under the covers in a quiet environment makes him want to confess everything.

He tends to become softer at night. It’s not uncommon for Geto to ask if you still love him or why you fell in love with him in the first place. No matter how tough his demeanor is on the outside, he’ll always be a softy for you.

Geto may or may not apologize verbally for his behavior; it depends on how sensitive he is that day. If Geto doesn’t outright apologize, he’ll do it in other ways, such as buying you a gift, giving you extra affection, or taking you out.

Choso

Choso is really needy and clingy when he's jealous. You’re the only one to see Choso in this state, begging to give and receive love.

Choso can’t help but feel self-conscious when you talk to or touch other men. Is he not enough?

He won’t directly tell you that he’s jealous most of the time, but you can tell by the way he snuggles his body into yours with little whines.

Please don’t ask Choso what's wrong; he’ll immediately start sobbing. Through choked sobs, he’ll admit that he doesn’t like the way that you talk to guys other than him.

Jealousy frustrates Choso to no end because he doesn’t necessarily know what the feeling is. All Choso knows is that he only gets it when you pay more attention to other people, especially guys.

Calming Choso down once he’s a sobbing mess in your arms is a task. No matter what you say or do, he’ll continue crying out his emotions for at least ten minutes.

The best thing that you can do is hold Choso and remind him that he’s the only one for you. Once he’s calmed down, Choso becomes overbearingly sweet and cuddly.

Endless kisses and snuggles from Choso are coming your way. Good luck trying to get him to stop (he won’t). It’s his way of self-soothing and reminding himself that you’re all his. Knowing that he’s the only one able to kiss and touch you warms his heart again.

As if his unnecessary affection wasn’t enough, he wants you to return the love. Choso will beg and beg for kisses and touches. Refusing to give affection will bring him to tears again.

After Choso’s received his fill of love and affection, all he wants is to cuddle until he falls asleep. If you hold his body close and play with his hair, he’ll instantly fall asleep with tears of joy. Choso loves you so much it hurts; he just wants to be your only one.

[tonkatsubowl]

hsr penacony men reacting to the reader being a yandere

▼ trigger warning. for alot of things.

aventurine would most definitely keep an eye on you. he previously stated that he lost everything in life and that he had nothing else to lose anymore, but now... with your love for him, he knew that he would never try to lose you. however, your behavior got worse as the two of you got into a relationship. you became obsessive, possessive and toxic at times. you threatened others when they got too close to him, and there were times where he literally had to hold you back. aventurine liked this side a bit, but when it got triggered, he had to do everything he can to prevent you from murdering everyone in sight. he'd soothe you with words to calm you down, and there would be times where he had to physically keep you down. kisses and hugs would do the trick, but sometimes it'd take more than that.

"again?" aventurine murmured as he approached the dark alleyway of the outskirts of penacony.

the stench of blood filled his nostrils as he approached you obliterating an innocent person, your eyes wide and an insane smile adoring your veil.

"(y/n)..." he placed a hand atop of your shoulder, seizing you of your actions. you look over, your blood-covered face softening when you see your lover.

"she's dead. there's no need to make a mess now." he soothes you, stroking your hair as he began to clean you up with a handkerchief.

"she was certainly being a mess earlier," you cooed, "i had to get rid of her. she was talking about wanting to sleep with you, and—"

he hushed you by pressing his lips against yours, before pulling away. he couldn't help his popularity in penacony, but his reputation was extremely dangerous. because of you.

"it's alright, dear. remind yourself that nobody other than you will be able to have me."

"... hehehe. i just love you so much, kakavasha."

dropping the murder weapon, you embraced him, tainting his expensive clothing with the victim's blood.

"... i love you too." his gaze softens, looking at the gruesome sight before him. now he has to clean this up...

dr ratio knew that this side of you was hidden, somewhere, waiting to be summoned. he knew the moment he met you for the first time, there was something about you that wasn't... right. and now time has flown by, and the both of you were engaged in a relationship. however, he didn't calculate that this side of you would be so dark.

luckily for you, dr ratio was an introvert and only spent his time reading books and whatnot. he spends his days indoors, doing whatever a mathematical, physiological and scientific genius would do, so you didn't have to worry about him going off.

however, just one moment he walks into a public library and all hell breaks loose. a woman admiring him from afar would be declared missing, and you would obviously be the reason why.

he sighed, seeing that the woman's body was laid to rest, and you were approaching him with the murder weapon in hand.

"veritas!" you exclaimed, bouncing towards him with glee, "i missed you!"

he eyes at the gruesome sight behind you, sighing to himself as you embraced him. you impressed him, seeing that he did not calculate this dangerous side of you. but you had to be controlled. he definitely learned that questioning you of your antics and beliefs would drive you crazy and go on both a rampant and a rampage.

"...i missed you, as well. but please do not make a mess, next time. i'd rather not see you coat yourself with blood again. if anyone sees you, then—"

"or what." you threatened, your eyes widening. "let them see. let the world see! the world needs to know that you're mine. you're mine. you're mine. you're mine! you're mi—" you went off again, and he had to quiet you by placing a hand atop of your head. "i am yours," he forced himself to reassure you, "but i would much rather you not get caught. do you understand that?"

as though your demeanor changed, you became a guilty dog that was caught ripping something apart (literally). your eyes pleaded, as you look down.

"okay..."

"good. now let's clean you up."

sunday knew this side of you. considering he was also a manipulative person, he truly didn't mind that you were doing this but at the same time, he had a reputation to keep. he didn't want you to dirty the streets of penacony due to a bit of jealousy or hatred towards other people who admired sunday.

but he was given word that you were killing one of the guard dogs of the family, who spoke ill about you. well deserved, he thought, until he had to clean up after you.

the doors opened, revealing you, multiple guards watching you with horror and disgust, and the victim that could not be even seen as a victim anymore but a pile of intestines and minced meat.

he sighed, pinching his nose, before approaching you. the guards around him shook with terror as they were confused how he of all people was not affected by your actions.

"(y/n)," he calls out to you, "must you be this dirty with your actions?"

"he was talking ill about you." you say, looking towards him as you got up, happily skipping towards him, "so i got rid of him."

well deserved, sunday once again thought, but now he has a mess to clean up.

he signaled the guards to clean up the minced meat pile, before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "now i have to drag you into the bath to get you washed up."

"okay! will you join me? you have to. you need to. or else everyone here dies, and—"

"i will." sunday nods slowly, pressing his lips at corner of your lips. "do not fret."

and because of this, and all the previous other events you did, you were practically nicknamed the "dog of sunday". you were a dog to be corrected on a leash, always by sunday's side, and a threat to those who opposed the man.

loyal, and forever by his side, waiting to bite.

[rrenzwrld]

nobody else, nothing else

connie x bimbo cheerleader!black reader

finally got a chance to continue this concept! i actually like how it turned out even though it doesn’t show the whole bimbo cheerleader aspect. i just got carried away into the fic but i might think up more hcs…anyways enjoy!

ever since connie asked you out and your relationship progressed, he felt pressure. he felt some kind of pressure from anyone who’s ever known you or him to do things that he wasn’t used to doing.

“she’s high maintenance.” he knew that and didn’t mind catering to you whenever he could. you were the sweetest person ever and deserved the world.

“she’s way out of your league man. ain’t no way you pulled that” maybe you were but if you didn’t care, neither did he.. at least he tried not to. you were beautiful, smart, funny, sexy, kind, everything someone would only get in a dream.

“she’s too good for you. you don’t know how to handle her” they spoke of you as if you could be handled like a pet or something. like you were this wild animal he had to tame or you’d spiral out of control. most of the time connie didn’t care about what was said but if he was left with his thoughts for too long, it’d be good for no one.

“connie, you been ignoring and avoiding me. why?” he couldn’t tell you that.

“there’s a lot of stuff on my mind.”

“what, so you don’t have time for me anymore? you have time for basketball and everything else.”

“it’s not you.”

“that’s hard to believe.”

“y/n.. can you please? i don’t wanna talk right now.” you were visibly hurt. he could never tell you to go away but something was different today. he didn’t wanna let you see him in a way that you weren’t used to seeing

“oh really?” he could see your body shift at his words and it hurt him to see you like that but he didn’t wanna burden you with his insecurities. “well,” you looked down at your shoes. “let me know whenever you’re ready to talk.” he knew how you operated and even though you insinuated that your lines of communication would be open to him still, that phrase for you only meant that you’d have your phone on dnd for the rest of the day and there was no getting through to you until the end of it.

the day went on and connie found himself standing outside of the door of your last class, waiting for you to walk out of it. his thoughts had been consuming him all day but all he wanted was you in his arms to take all of that away. he couldn’t afford for you to be upset with him right now.

“y/n.” connie grabbed your arm as he saw you nearly walk past without acknowledging him. you looked at the loose grip on your arm.

“constance.”

“stop that.”

“stop what?”

“that. being childish, you know i don’t like when you call me that.”

“and i don’t like when you’re not honest with me.” you crossed your arms stern over your chest, letting him know you weren’t backing down from the topic at hand earlier.

“ay, tesoro…can we please not do this right now?” you shrugged.

“maybe not now but we have to talk about it after practice. promise?” you held out your pinky. of course connie wouldn’t tell anyone his feelings if he didn’t have to but it was you. he wanted to be able to do anything for you so he intertwined his pinky with yours.

“good. call me later?”

“of course, i love you.” he leaned in to quickly place a peck on your cheek before he left to get ready for practice while you waited for your mom to get you because you didn’t have cheer practice that day.

when practice was over, connie went home and make sure all his stuff was done before he decided to call you. the two of you called each other almost every night but this particular call was making him nervous.

“i’m guessing you’re ready to talk?” connie sighed loudly and you giggled at how annoyed he was but you pondered about why sharing his feelings was so difficult with you.

“i guess so.”

“so, what’s been going on? what’s been on your mind?” connie didn’t think he’d have to address these particular concerns with you and was worried as to if you’d judge him or not even though that wasn’t your character.

“just…some insecurities, that’s all.”

“elaborate, please?”

“people say i don’t deserve you and i don’t like how that makes me feel.” you didn’t like how that made you feel either and connie’s softened tone hadn’t made it easier. “makes me feel like a shitty boyfriend, ya know? like what do they think i’m doing wrong? am i doing anything wrong? what’s wrong with me? do you really deserve bette—“

“baby.” you interrupted his rambling. “you’re perfect, okay? you have nothing to prove to me and especially not to whoever is saying those things to you.” you sweet voice calmed connie over the phone but he knew he’d feel much better if he had one of your hugs to pair along with it. “i love you, you love me and that’s all that matters. nobody else, nothing else, alright?” connie stayed quiet for a moment before answering.

“yeah.”

“nobody else, nothing else.” in the back of connie’s mind, he didn’t think he deserved you. he believed he was too flawed for you and you were supposed to have someone as perfect as yourself. but you didn’t care about any of that. you loved connie for connie and no matter how imperfect he thought he was, he was perfect for you.

“now, how was practice?”

[straylightdream]

run to you - my sweet savior

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: bang chan x chubby/plus size f.reader

friends to lovers / non idol au

↳ after running away from an abusive ex there is only one person you know you’ll truly feel safe with.

{ “You mean so much to me, and I just want to keep you safe. I’m so sorry he was ever able to hurt you,”

“Chan nobody was able to protect me.”}

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 9.6k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit sexual content (smut warnings below the cut), and mentions/talks of abuse happening (by the mc’s ex) before the story, and mentions of injuries from abuse. This is gonna be a heavier story.

𝐚𝐧: I started to really second guess this story when I was editing if I’m being honest.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected piv, oral (male rec), fingering (fem rec), this is pretty vanilla they’re in love, names such as: baby, and baby girl

You had known each other since your freshman year of college when your dorms were on the same floor. You became friends right away when Chan accidentally ran into you while he was walking to the library. He’ll never admit it to anyone but he did it on purpose. He had seen you talking to your friend and wanted a reason to talk to you. He figured it would be the best way to start up a conversation. From the moment you met you had become instantly friends. No matter what happened in your life you were always able to run to Chan. He would always be there to save you.

It was the middle of the night, and instead of being at home in bed you ran away to the only person you felt safe with. Standing at his door you rapidly knocked on the door trying to get him to come to open it quickly. Pushing the tears off your flushed cheeks that had a large bruise already forming you inhaled deeply trying to stop crying. If he didn’t answer in the next minute you were just going to walk to Changbin’s apartment. You were praying Chan was going to answer the door. You needed him desperately at the moment.

“Who is it?” he asked on the other side of the door.

“It’s (Y/N),” you said through tears as they continued to fall.

Opening the door, he stared at you for a moment. His apartment was dark behind him. You were caught off guard by the fact he was only wearing a pair of sweatpants that sat really low on hips. You could tell that he was asleep before you had woken him up with you pounding on his door. Sniffling, you stood there staring at him. You didn’t even know what you expected from him, but when you left your apartment you knew you needed to go to Chan.

“Why are you crying,” he said with his voice sounding raspy.

“Chan, can I come in?” You asked awkwardly standing in the hallway.

He nodded his head and stepped to the side signaling for you to come in.

You suddenly froze in place and you can’t even fully explain why. He noticed your hesitation and took your hand gently.

Holding his hand, he led you over to the couch that sat in the middle of his dark apartment. He didn’t even bother turning on any lights. The only light on was the one in the bathroom that was giving a dull glow near his bed. You were trying to calm down because you didn’t want to cry anymore. You kept taking deep breaths attempting to stop crying. The weight of the night felt like it was crushing you.

“What time is it?” he asked, sitting down next to you.

“It’s two in the morning,” you sighed knowing you shouldn’t have come to his apartment.

“Is there a reason you came to my apartment at two in the morning crying?” he looked over at you. You were happy the room was so dark so it must have been hard to see the bruises. You paused for a moment because you knew he was probably going to lose his cool when you told him why. “Promise you’ll stay calm,” you reached over and rested your hand on his thigh.

“Why do I know I’m not gonna like what you’re gonna say?”

“I need a restraining order against Jimmy,” you sighed, explaining why you needed a restraining order and was going to have to cause you to re-live the pain. You knew with Chan and Changbin being lawyers they would be able to make the process of you getting one easier.

Jimmy was your boyfriend of three years that you lived with. You thought he was the one you were going to marry until about two weeks ago when things changed between you. He used to be gentle and caring until more recently when things started to change.

Tilting his head to the side he asked, “why do you need a restraining order?”

You swallowed trying to gather the courage to tell him, “he hit me a couple of weeks ago after drinking. I told myself it was a one-time thing that he would never do it again, and then…” Tears quickly brimmed your eyes before you started crying again, reliving that hell of a night.

Chan’s nostrils flared as he tried to stay calm at what you were telling him, “then what?” he asked. He was trying to force himself to stay calm so that he couldn’t just go kill the man who hurt his best friend.

“He came home from drinking with his friends and he tried to kiss me and when I told him he was drunk he slapped me. I tried to fight him off and then he slammed me into a mirror,” tears fell as you looked down at her bare thighs that were covered in cuts. You could already see your legs turning shades or purple and green as the bruises were starting to form.

“What the fuck?” Chan stood up quickly filled with rage. You knew that Chan would have no issue killing Jimmy after what he did to you.

“Chan please stay calm,” you grabbed his hand desperately pleading for him to calm down. You didn’t need him to be mad right now; you just needed him to hold you and let you know you weren’t alone.

“He laid his fucking hands on you,” he gazed off into your direction. He didn’t know what to do at that moment. He wanted to personally go kill the man that touched his best friend.

“Chan, I left him and came here. I don’t need you to hurt him and I sure as hell don’t need you to be freaking out right now. I’m begging you to not do anything,” you sobbed clenching his hand.

He could hear the pain in your voice. Sitting back down on the couch you released his hand and he gently reached up and rested his hand on your bruised cheek.

Not being able to actually see you In the very dark room he asked, “how bad are you hurt?”

“My right cheek is really bruised, and on my left side my body got pretty cut up from the mirror,” you sighed as tears fell.

Gently he reached and wiped away your tears that were staining your cheeks.

“You need to file a police report tomorrow and then we’ll get you that restraining order,” he sighed attempting to calm down.

“Also you’re moving in with me for a while. I’ll take the couch and you can have the bed.”

“I can’t have you sleeping on the couch Chan,” you sighed.“I can sleep on the couch and you can take the bed.”

Silence took over the room for a long moment as you stared at him. He cleared his throat and said, “why didn’t you tell me a couple weeks ago he hit you?”

“Because I was embarrassed it happened and told myself it was a one time thing.”

Closing his eyes he shook his head upset he couldn’t prevent you from getting hurt. This should have never happened a first time let alone a second time.

“Let’s get some sleep,” you stood up. You wanted this hell of a night to be over.

—-

It has been a week since you left Jimmy and this afternoon Chan, Changbin and your friend Molly went over to your place you used to share with Jimmy and got all your stuff. While you were there both Changbin and Chan threatened him within an inch if he ever came near you again.

Laying on Chan’s couch in the middle of the living area of his studio you looked over at Chan who was in bed. You tried your best to fight back tears. You were finally free from Jimmy but that meant you were going to have to restart your life. You had been living with him for the last two years. So that meant you were going to have to find your own place, and your own furniture. You hadn’t ever lived on your own. When you went to college you lived with Molly and then after graduating you moved in together. You lived with her until you foolishly decided to move in with your ex. The sound of you sniffling back your tears had Chan's attention. Sitting up in bed he asked, “why are you crying?”

Pushing the tears off your cheeks you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed you kept crying in front of him. “It’s nothing,” you lied.

“Please come over here and sleep in this bed with me, I can’t have you going to bed crying on the couch,” he sighed getting out of bed.

Sitting up you looked over to where Chan was sitting on the edge of the bed, “I’m fine here. I think tomorrow I need to start looking for a place to live. I’ve never lived on my own and honestly it kind of terrifies me.”

Standing up he slowly started making his way over to the couch where you were sitting. “You can live here as long as you want?”

Before you could say anything Chan was standing in front of you shirtless only wearing a pair of boxers that sat low on his hips. You couldn’t help but stare at his toned body, your mind was lost in thought thinking about how good he looked standing around in just boxers.

“Are you checking me out?” he joked.

“I wasn’t,” you lied again.

Over the last week there had seemed to be quite a bit of sexual tension between you two. Back when you were in college you had slept together after a drunken night, and you had swore you would never talk about it after you woke up the next morning. Since you had been living together for a week you couldn’t help but think about the time you and Chan had slept together. You had fond memories of your night you spent together.

“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch, we're grown adults, we can share the bed,” he held his hand out for you to take.

“Chan are you sure?” You asked, reaching for his hand.

Nodding his head, he led you off to his bed. Slowly you both crawled into bed. Chan moved to one side and you laid on the far side of the bed. You both laid on your sides. Your eyes stayed locked on him as he stared back at you.

“Do you ever think about that night in college?” You knew they agreed to never talk about that night, but after living with him for a week you needed to know. You were curious if he thought about your night together.

He nodded his head, “I do.”

You sighed, “I do too.”

Reaching your hand out you rested it on top of Chan’s hands wondering why he was so good to you. You couldn’t help but wonder why he was your night and shining armor. He seemed to always be there for you, and never asked for anything in return.

“Why did nothing happen between us?” You had been wanting to ask him that question for years but could never gather the courage to actually ask him.

“Changbin was basically in love with you in college and I felt like I betrayed my friend,” he sighed. “Also we slept together right before you started dating that asshole William.”

Chan hated William; he was an asshole jock who cheated on you multiple times. He was one of your exes that did nothing but break your spirit.

“Changbin was in love with me?” You were caught off guard by this information. Back in college when you all met you were basically all best friends. You had a huge crush on Chan, but you didn’t realize Changbin had liked you.

“Yeah he was and if you ever tell him I said that I’ll call you a liar,” he said with a little laugh.

“Is he still in love with me?” You wondered what would have happened if you and Changbin had dated.

“I don’t think so. He hasn’t brought it up in years.”

“Well it’s good to know in college someone other than William wanted to get with a big girl,” you said thinking back to your college years when you struggled with your body image the most. You had zero confidence and went through stages of yo-yo dieting. It wasn’t until after you graduated you learned to love yourself and not care about what people think.

“First of all don’t talk about yourself like that,” he squeezed your hand. “Second of all there were other people who wanted you.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his comments and sarcastically said, “You know I totally had guys lining up to get with me.”

“You know we slept together right, and I was extremely attracted to you then and I sure as hell still am,” he rolled onto his back so he was looking at the ceiling.

Your eyes went wide, completely caught off guard by his words, “excuse me what?” You almost shouted.

“You can’t act like you didn’t know this,” he said coolly.

“Bang Chan you can’t play that comment off like it was nothing,” you sat up on the bed and stared at him still wide eyed.

“You were attracted to me then and you still are?” You were sitting on your knees.

“Why would I have sex with you if I wasn’t attracted to you?” He sat up.

Running your fingers through her messy hair you were trying to take in everything, “I don’t know we were both super freaking drunk.”

“Were you not attracted to me?” he asked, sounding slightly offended.

“Seriously you’re super handsome and funny obviously I was then and I still am.”

“It shouldn’t be shocking that I’m attracted to you.”

“You do realize I’m a bigger girl? I’m not the typical small girl that you normally date, right?”

“You do realize I still think about constantly getting my hands back on your curves right?” he asked, causing your cheeks to burn bright.

“You think about having sex with me again?” You asked completely caught off guard by his comment.

He nodded, not saying anything. He couldn’t believe he was openly giving this information to his best friend who he was sharing a bed with at that moment.

“Did you wanna maybe…” you paused and hesitated for a long moment because you were slightly scared you were going to get rejected.

“Wanna what?” he asked, turning towards you.

“What if we slept together again,” you sighed.

He pushed his eyebrows together processing what you had just asked him. You had just gone through a really nasty break up and this was probably your way of rebounding and no matter how badly he wanted to have sex with you he didn’t wanna be a rebound. If you actually slept together again it couldn’t just be casual sex to either of you.

“Okay you just hesitate so I’m gonna go to sleep and die of embarrassment,” you laid down quickly wanting to crawl off the bed and die.

“Wait,” he grabbed your arm.

“It’s fine Chan, sorry I asked.”

“I want to have sex with you really badly, but I don’t want this to be just rebound sex,” he sighed.

Pushing your eyebrows together you stared at him for a long moment and swallowed trying to figure out what exactly you said to him. “Chan..” you paused.

“It will happen again, don’t worry,” he let go of your arm and was silent for a moment.

“What is happening here?” You asked, confused by everything that was happening.

“We're gonna give you time to get over what happened with Jimmy and soon we’re gonna sleep together again,” he smiled.

You nodded your head

“Alright,” you said before biting your bottom lip.

“We aren’t going to rush this,” he smiled.

[…]

The sound of the rain outside of Chan’s apartment caused you to stir from your sound sleep. The feeling of Chan’s arm laying across your stomach made you to smile. Biting your bottom lip and looking over at Chan who was still sound asleep. Part of you wanted to move over and cuddle into Chan’s warm body. Yesterday the judge had granted you your restraining order against Jimmy. You were hoping that the papers were going to be delivered to Chan’s office today making it official.

The sound of Chan’s phone ringing caused him to pull his arm off of you. You quickly tried to slow your breathing down to attempting to act like you were asleep.

Picking up his phone he rasped, “yeah Changbin?” You loved the way his voice sounded in the morning. When he was still half asleep and groggy his voice had a rasp to it.

“Yeah go ahead and grab some bagels I’m heading in soon. I’ll probably bring (Y/N) with me,” he said.

You couldn’t help but smile at the fact he planned on bringing you with him to work. Slowly you opened your eyes to see Chan setting his phone down on the nightstand.

“Good morning,” you said softly.

“Morning,” he said as he raked his fingers through his messy curls. “I’m gonna take a quick shower and then do you maybe want to go to work with me?” he asked as he started getting out of bed.

“Yeah I’ll go to work with you,” you said, stretching your stiff body.

Chan slowly made his way off towards the bathroom and you couldn’t help but stare at his tone back as he walked away.

Walking over to the rack of clothes you had in Chan’s apartment you attempted to find something to wear. You picked out a nice dress to wear that you could throw a cute coat over the top. Sliding your dress on you walked over and found a pair of black heels that would go nicely with the outfit. Recently since moving in with Chan you had started doing some secretary work for Chan and Changbin at their law office they shared. When you went into their office to help out you liked to look the part.

Walking into the kitchen you worked on making a pot of coffee, and trying to find something small to eat to hold yourself over until you got to the office where Changbin was going to have bagels for you.

The sound of Chan walking out of the bathroom caused you to look up. He walked over to his closet and started looking for something to wear

He pulled out a gray suit that was your favorite suit. As he started getting dressed you quickly looked away and started making yourself a cup of coffee.

As you started pouring the milk into the coffee Chan walked towards you and said, “smells good.”

“I love the smell of coffee,” you said simply as he lightly rested his hand on your lower back as he reached for his travel cup. His touch sent a shiver down your spine.

“Yeah me too,” you said smiling. There was something about Chan’s touch that just made you feel safe.

“Can you make me a cup in my travel cup?”

“Yeah of course,” you said, reaching for the cup he was holding.

“Are you okay if we take our coffee to go?” he asked with his hand still resting on your lower back.

“Yeah of course. Why don't you grab your bag and I’ll get your coffee ready?”

“Alright,” he said, walking over towards his night stand where his bag was sitting on the floor.

You finished making your coffee and walked over to Chan who was standing by the door.

“Let’s go,” you said, handing him his cup of coffee.

You walked the short distance to Chan and Changbin’s law firm. You stood right next to Chan the whole way there, you laughed and talked about Changbin’s love of bagels. You talked about how that was his go to food back in college.

Walking into Chan’s office you found Changbin sitting at his desk eating his bagel. You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh.

The three of you ate your bagels and joked around a little before the boys got to work. Sitting at a table in the boy’s office you typed away on your computer looking at studio apartments in the area.

“How are there still no good apartments around,” you sighed. You had been sleeping in Chan’s bed every night and the sexual tension between you had gotten so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife, or at least it was for you.

“We’ll find you a place,” Chan said, walking over and sitting across from you.

“Why is everything so damn expensive,” you rolled your eyes. “I just want a studio, I shouldn’t have to pay this much.”

“It’s like that all over the city,” Changbin said sitting down next to you.

“I’m in no hurry to kick you out,” Chan reached over and touched your hand.

Looking down at your hand and then looking up at him you smiled.

Changbin looked at both of you extremely confused on what was going on between you.

“Are you two sleeping together?” he questioned, sensing the new tension between you.

Your heart rate picked up and you pulled your hand away from his, while Chan was extremely calm and just simply said, “no Changbin.”

Pushing his eyebrows together, Changbin didn’t believe Chan. Especially since his question seemed to make you so nervous. He could definitely tell something was different between you and Chan since that night you had left Jimmy. He must have noticed Chan’s lingering touches, and your longing looks. Changbin knew that Chan had always been protective of you, and that right now he probably felt like he needed to protect you even more than normal.

“We aren’t,” you said awkwardly. You technically weren’t lying to him, you weren’t actually sleeping together yet. The key word being yet.

“Then why are you acting so weird around each other?” he asked, still pushing his eyebrows together again.

Shrugging your shoulders, you said, “Changbin I have had a really rough few weeks. I’m just acting weird in general.”

Your statement made Changbin go quiet and made Chan smile. The last two weeks had been an emotional roller coaster for you, and you had been so filled with stress working on getting a restraining order against Jimmy. There had also been a lot of sexual tension between the two of you. You hadn’t even kissed, you’ve just shared longing touches and longing looks coming from you. You thought about the feeling of Chan’s lips on yours almost every second of the day. You would find yourself staring at his lips fighting the urge to get up and kiss him.

The boys went back to work and in the middle of the afternoon the sound of a knock on the door caused all of you to look up. You stood up and went over to open the door. You found a post office worker standing on the other side of the door holding a large envelope.

“This is for (Y/N, Y/L/N),” the postal worker said.

“That’s me,” you said as your heart was racing. You knew exactly what this envelope held. You turned around to find both of the boys looking over at you. Changbin looked like he didn’t know what to say to you, and Chan looked like he was trying to focus on the tone in your voice. “I’m free,” your voice was shaky and you were on the verge of tears. You couldn’t even begin to explain how you felt suddenly.

You sat back down at the table and slowly you opened the envelope to find your official restraining order against Jimmy. He wasn’t ever going to be able to hurt you again, and you knew deep down inside if he ever broke this Chan and Changbin would be there to protect you.

“(Y/N) is that what I think it is?” Chan asked, reaching over and resting his hand on top of yours.

“I’m free,” you said as tears slid down your cheek. You didn’t want to cry, but in that moment, you were just relieved and couldn’t help the tears. His thumb rubbed against the top of your hand, the simple gesture made you smile. “He won’t be able to hurt me again.”

“Changbin, why don’t we call it an early day?” Chan asked, standing up. He knew him and Changbin had more work to do but right now he wanted to get you away from the office.

“Yeah that’s a good idea,” Changbin said standing up.

“Let’s head back to the apartment,” Chan said, resting his hand on your shoulder.

Looking up at him you softly said, “okay.”

Chan grabbed his bag and led you out of the office. As you got into the elevator you were joined by a handful of people which caused you to be pressed against each other. Your back was pressed against Chan’s tone torso and he had his free hand that wasn’t holding his bag resting on your curvy waist. Closing your eyes, you tried to focus on Chan’s hand that was touching you. You didn’t want to think about Jimmy anymore. You didn’t want him to take up anymore of the space in your mind.

As the elevator doors opened and the people inside poured out you reached down and laced your finger with Chan’s and led him out of the elevator. He glanced down at your hands and then looked back up at you and gave you a smile.

The walk back to his apartment you were sharing was short. As you entered the apartment you let out a heavy sigh. Chan slowly shut the door and walked towards you.

“Are you okay?” he asked, knowing deep down inside you were going to be okay. You had a lot of thoughts going through your mind.

“Yeah I am,” you were okay as you were ever going to be. “Hey Chan?” You asked.

“Yeah,” he asked, sitting down.

“I’m ready,” you whispered. You finally felt free and you wanted nothing more to be held by Chan’s strong hands.

“Are you sure?” he asked slowly, reaching up to loosen his tie.

“Yes,” you said, walking towards him to help him take off his tie. As you removed his tie Chan moved his hands to rest on your round hips. Removing his tie, you lightly placed it on his bed. He moved his hand and rested it gently on your cheek. Lightly he tilted your face towards his. “Thank you for looking after me,” you said softly.

“I would do anything for you,” he moved his face down towards yours and rested his forehead against yours. “You mean so much to me, and I just want to keep you safe. I’m so sorry he was ever able to hurt you,” his voice sounded shaky. You know he’ll never forgive himself for not being able to protect his best friend. You can tell him until you’re blue in the face that there wasn’t anything he could have done and he’ll never believe you.

“Chan, nobody was able to protect me,” you sighed. “I should have left the first time he hit me,” a tear slid down your cheek. You blame yourself for Jimmy hitting you, you knew you should've seen the signs pointing to Jimmy becoming violent, but you were just blind to it. You didn’t even want to think there was a chance the man you loved could hurt you.

“I should have seen the signs this was happening, I saw you countless times after the first time he hit you. I should have noticed something was up,” he slid his thumb across your cheek removing the tear that had slid down.

Slowly he pressed his lips to yours for a slow longing kiss. His lips tasted better than you remembered, you felt as if they were made for yours. Your hands gripped his white dress shirt as your lips started moving together. Pulling your lips away from him, you reached up to push his jacket off.

“Nothing like that will ever happen to you again,” he stated.

The second his jacket was off you stepped away to remove your own coat. You took a second to remove your heels. You stood in front of him watching as he untucked his dress shirt and started unbuttoning it. As he removed his shirt your eyes locked onto his toned stomach. Your eyes traveled up to his face to find him smirking.

“Let’s get your dress off,” he said, stepping towards you. He reached for the hem of your dress and pulled over your head slowly. You stood in front of him in only your bra and panties. You would normally feel exposed but with him you didn’t. Reaching down you worked on removing his belt. You fumbled with it for a moment before he let out a soft laugh and removed your hands to remove his own belt. You stood there watching him as he removed his shoes and socks and pushed his dress pants off. The sight of him in nothing but a tight pair of boxer briefs was absolutely mouth watering.

His hands reached behind you and unhooked your bra. You both stood there in only your underwear with only a couple of inches between you.

“I’ve missed seeing you like this.” His lust hazed eyes traveled up and down your curvy body.

“Believe me I’m nothing special.” You sighed and looked down at your soft stomach. You were still dealing with the fact that you didn’t feel comfortable in your own skin.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that, you are so beautiful,” he sighed before pressing his lips to yours again. Pulling his lips away from you he whispered, “you are the most beautiful person I have ever known.” His lips started kissing their way down your jaw. His touch was a mixture of wet kisses and light nips. You held your eyes closed tightly just enjoying the feeling of his touch.

“How do you know all the right things to say?” You asked with your eyes still held close.

“Because I have wanted to say them for a while,” he said as his lips ghosted your skin. He dropped down onto his knees in front of you and your eyes opened quickly as his fingers hooked into the top of your panties and slowly slid them down your thick thighs. Your breath hitched as he kissed your thighs.

“Chan,” you sighed.

“Yeah baby?” he asked looking up at you.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked as you signaled for him to stand up. He stood up and he was standing in front of you again.

He pushed his eyebrows together and looked at you completely confused by your question. He just grabbed your hand and put it over his boxer-briefs that were strained against his very hard erection. “You’re the one who did that to me,” he said, smirking. “I don’t want to be with anyone else other than you right now.”

Reaching down for the top of his boxers you slid them down his tone thighs. You didn’t think you would get over the sight of him naked. Back in college he was extremely handsome and in shape, but now he was even more in shape. “You’re so beautiful,” you whispered.

“Come here,” he said before crashing his lips into yours. As your lips moved together Chan strong hands moved down towards your round ass and pulled you close to his body. Slowly Chan started walking them backwards until Chan fell back on the bed and brought you down with him. He rolled you onto your sides and you pulled away from him and stared at him for a long moment. He moved to roll onto your back so he’s hovering over you. His lips captured one of your nipples while you moaned his name. Dragging his lips away from your skin he looked up at you and whispered, “spread your legs for me.”

His words made you even wetter at just the anticipation of what was to come. Sitting back on his hunches between her legs he lightly pushed your legs further apart. You tried to steady your breathing and stay calm as you watched him steadily pump his length. Your teeth caught the bottom lip.

His finger slid between your folds as did gentle circles around your sensitive nub, and you couldn’t help but whine wanting more than just his fingers on you. Removing his finger, he held his length and pressed his tip to your entrance. You gasped as he pushed into you. Your hands gripped the cotton sheets below you. His hands gripped your round hips as he rocked his hips into your core. Your head rolled back and you moaned as he pushed fully inside you. He stilled for a moment and rubbed your clit earning another moan from you.

“I need you close,” you moaned.

“Okay,” he rasped as he held himself still inside you as moved his body so he was hovering over you. Connecting his lips to yours he started to roll his hips against yours again. Your hands gripped at his strong back he thrust into you. He couldn’t help but groan at how tight you were.

“You feel so good baby,” he groaned with his lips ghosting your shoulder as he continued to push into you.

“Please don’t stop,” you whined.

Your nails clawed at his back holding him close to you. The sex in college had been fun and sloppy, but this was a whole different thing. This was filled with passion and lust. You couldn’t seem to get enough of each other as his teeth nipped at your shoulder.

“Chan,” you whined. You weren't sure if you knew any other words than Chan’s name at the moment.

You panted and whined as he pushed you over the edge. Your walls pulled at his length as he came inside you. He stilled in you completely as you whined riding out your own high. Removing himself from you he rolled onto his back attempting to catch his own breath.

“I needed that so much,” you sigh.

He reached over to pull you closer to him. You curled up next to him and rested your head on his chest. Silently you laid there just enjoying your post sex bliss.

“That was better than college,” he softly laughed.

“That was way better than college.”

Leaning down he lightly kissed the top of your head. You couldn’t help but wonder what this meant for you. You thought it was obvious that the both of you had feelings for each other, but you weren't sure when you should actually talk about them.

“Maybe we could take a nap and then order some Chinese food,” he said as his hand ran up and down your spine.

“That would be great,” you said as you curled up closer to him.

[…]

The feeling of his lips on your skin drove you mad in the best way possible. Chan laid on the couch with you sitting in between his legs. He wore nothing but his boxers and you in nothing but your bra and panties. Chan’s lips were attached to your neck sending a shiver down your spine. He peppered kisses across your skin, and occasionally nipped at the sensitive skin causing you to giggle.

Pulling away from him you looked at him and just smiled. You had just slept together and you couldn’t wait to have sex with him again. He made you feel like you were the only person on the earth that mattered to him, and it made your heart flutter.

“Why are you smiling at me?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“How do you know I’m smiling? I’m not even facing you?”

“Because I know you,” he spoke softly as he reached his hand up and rested it on yours and he brushed the pad of his thumb against the corner of your mouth. “Why don’t we go back to bed?” he asked. He couldn’t seem to get enough of you at the moment, and he didn’t think at this point he would ever get enough of you. He wasn’t sure how you had managed to wait so many years since that drunken college night.

“Alright,” you whispered, reaching over and lacing your fingers with his. He couldn’t help but smile to himself, you seemed to make him happy.

Standing up you pulled Chan’s hand and helped him up, you led him over to the bed, and stopped right at the foot of the bed. You placed your hand on his strong chest signaling for him to stop. He didn’t say anything, he just stopped in place curious to what you had planned. Silently you dropped to your knees in front of him. You couldn’t help but bite your bottom lip as your fingers hooked into the top of his boxers.

“What are you doing?” he asked as you slid his boxers down his strong thighs. You didn’t say anything, you just slowly licked his length causing him to groan. He sure didn’t expect you to start going down on him. If he remembered properly from your drunken night together you had confessed to him you hated giving head. As you took him in your mouth he was confused on how some who hated doing this was so good at it. Your hands gripped his base as you slowly bobbed your head against him. He closed his eyes holding back a moan as you dragged your tongue against the underside of his length. It was taking everything in him not to tangle his fingers in your hair and help her movement. You hummed with him in your mouth and he just about came right there. His fingers tangled in your messy locks and lightly tugged trying to signal for you to stop.

“Baby,” he moaned. “I’m gonna cum in your mouth if you don’t stop,” he groaned.

You released him with a pop and looked up at him enjoying the sight of him on the edge. Standing in front of him you reached behind yourself and undid your bra. He was still standing there with the same grin plastered on his face. “Did you enjoy that?” You asked, reaching down and taking his hand.

“Words can’t explain how great that was,” he said, smiling. “I thought you said you hated doing that?” he asked, still trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

You placed his hand on your breast and said, “I used to hate doing it but remember that frat guy William I dated back in college after we hooked up?”

“Unfortunately, I remember him,” he said as his hand started massaging your breast.

“Well he liked getting head more than having sex, so I got pretty good at it,” you said, remembering back to your time in college. You were really starting to regret not telling Chan how you really felt about him back then.

“I hated that guy,” he groaned.

“I hated him in the end too, but at least got good at doing that,” you said with a little laugh.

“Okay I don’t want to hear about your asshole ex anymore,” he said before closing the distance between you. His lips were intoxicating to you, they were like a drug you couldn’t get enough of. His hands moved from your breast to your round hips. He held you close, as your lips moved together.

Pulling away from him you grinned and took a step back. He wasn’t ready for that kiss to be over and he rasped, “I wasn’t done.”

You worked on removing your panties so Chan wasn’t the only naked one, “patience.”

Chan took this as his cue to crawl onto his unmade bed. Sitting in the middle of the bed he waited for you to join him. “Close your eyes Channie,” you wanted to tease him.

“I hope you’re naked,” he said, causing you to laugh.

“You can find out in a second,” you crawled onto the bed. For some reason being with Chan gave you a sense of confidence you had never actually had before. Crawling on your hands and knees you made your way to Chan who connected his lips to yours for a kiss that was filled with a sense of hunger. He wasted no time rolling you over so he was resting on top of her as their lips moved together.

He opened his eyes and couldn’t help but feel the love behind them. Pulling away from you he settled himself between your legs. “Are you ready?” he rasped.

“Yes,” you sighed.

He thrust into you painfully slowly, he gripped your round hips holding onto you as he rolled his hips. You reached up and gripped his ass attempting to speed up his thrust. “Let’s take it slow baby girl,” he rasped. Just the mention of him calling you baby girl almost sent you over the edge. Chan had always been flirty with you, and quite touchy, but he had never really called her anything other than your name before you moved in with him. Him giving you a pet name in the middle of sex made your heart race.

“Just like that,” you sighed, moving your hand up to his shoulder blade to pull him closer to you. You needed him to put his lips on yours, and you just needed him closer. When you were having sex with him you just wanted him to be as physically close as possible to you. His lips connected to your as your nails scratched his back holding onto him. You couldn’t hold back your moans as you moaned into his kiss.

Chan was a man who knew his way around a woman's body, and it drove you mad. He pulled his lips away from yours and you moaned his name loudly. His pace picked up as you hooked your leg over his hip giving him a new angle.

“I’m close,” you moaned.

His lips attached to your neck as he pushed you over the edge. You held your eyes close tight as you rode out our high. He panted as thrust into you holding off his own high. Your eyes open to find him staring at you with a sense of hunger. The way he was staring at you turned her on so much.

You pushed on his chest signaling for him to stop, his hips still and he panted trying to catch his breath. He was so close to his own high it wasn’t going to take much more.

“Why are we stopping?” he panted, still inside you.

“How do you want to end this?” You asked knowing that the missionary was considered boring, you liked clinging to him as you came, but you wondered what he wanted.

“Baby…” he trailed off as if he was trying to figure out what to say to you. “I’m not trying to fuck you senseless, this isn’t just sex this is different. I want to savor every moment with you.”

You were trying to wrap your mind around what he had just said to you, you weren't sure what was going on with you two. You knew you weren’t together but you were pretty sure you were in love with the man that was still inside of you. His words led you to believe that he had feelings for you too.

“What does that mean?” You reached up and rested her hand on his cheek.

“I would like to finish making love to you and then we can talk,” he said as his hips slowly started moving again.

Your eyes brimmed with tears as thrust into you slowly over and over again. You didn’t want to cry but what he said made you quite emotional for some reason. Chan seemed to care about you more than anyone you had ever been with. It didn’t take much before he finished. He stilled in you for a moment and leaned down and connected his lips to yours for a soft kiss.

He rolled off you and laid on his back with a smile on his face, he didn’t seem to notice that his words seemed to have knocked your world on its side. You laid on your side staring at Chan feeling extremely confused. Part of you want to jump out of bed and just run away. You wanted Chan and you to be together, but suddenly you were terrified of your feelings for him. You had been burned by love so many times, and you knew nobody would ever care for you like Chan did, but you were still scared.

Chan reached his hand over and rested it on your chest as you looked up at the ceiling trying to figure out what you needed to say. “Why does your heart feel like it's about to burst from your chest?” he asked, still trying to catch his own breath.

“Because I’m still coming down from that orgasm,” it wasn’t the full truth, but technically you weren't lying to him.

Chan could tell by your tone something was wrong, he wasn’t sure what caused you to start freaking out but he needed to know.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” you said, attempting to escape this conversation. Crawling out of bed you quickly went to the bathroom. You left Chan laying on his bed very confused.

Walking into the bathroom you turned on the water and waited a minute to heat up before stepping in. You were hoping that the warm water was going to wash away anxiety you suddenly had about you and Chan talking about your relationship. You stood under the warm water closing your eyes trying to figure out if you and Chan could even work as a couple. For so long you had thought often about what it would be like to be with Chan.

You opened your eyes at the sound of the sliding glass door opening. You found Chan standing in front of you.

“Why did you just lie to me and then run away from me after we had sex?” he asked.

You swallowed and knew you were going to have to tell him how you actually feel about him. Pushing some of the water from her face you said, “because what you said scared me.”

He pushed his eyebrows together confused, “what scared you?” You could tell he was wondering if you suddenly regretted sleeping together.

“That you said it wasn’t just normal sex,” you whispered as your eyes once again started to brim with tears.

He stepped closer and reached down and took your hand in his, “is that all you thought this was with us?” You knew he was probably afraid to hear your answer. You had waited to have sex because he didn’t want to just be a rebound, and he cared more about you then he had ever cared for anyone.

“I didn’t think you actually saw me as more than a friend,” you whispered.

“(Y/N) you can’t be serious?” he said, taking another step towards you. He was now standing under the water with you and there was only like two inches separating you. You were silent, feeling suddenly embarrassed. “I wouldn’t have slept with you just to have casual sex. I value our friendship too much to do that. I care so much for you,” he reached up and placed his hand on your cheek. His words were causing your stomach to twist in knots.

“Chan, I think I love you,” you whispered, afraid to actually say it out loud. “I think I’ve loved you since that night in college.

“You think?” he asked as his thumb gently brushed your cheek as he had his hand still resting on your cheek.

You nodded your head. You knew if you spoke again you were going to break down and cry, suddenly you were so overcome by your emotions.

“I love you too,” he smiled.

You couldn’t help but start to cry, you had been through so much recently with Jimmy hitting you. Between you getting your restraining order and Chan taking care of you. You suddenly felt like an emotional mess, you were crying even though his words made you happy.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, sounding worried.

“Because I was scared you didn’t feel the same way,” you whispered.

He didn’t bother saying anything; he just leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours. The sound of the front door opening caused you both to jump apart.

“Did Changbin just come?” You whispered praying this wasn’t how Changbin was going to find out.

“Yeah,” Chan said, nodding his head.

“What the hell do we do?” You asked, praying Changbin wasn’t gonna walk into the bathroom. “I’m gonna go out there and talk to him.”

He slowly opened the sliding door. You reached down and grabbed his hand signaling for him not to leave yet. “Please don’t tell him I’m in here with you. Lie and tell him I’m out and then go to the bar with him. I'll meet you there.”

“(Y/N) are you ashamed of me?” he asked with a little laugh.

You rolled your eyes, “Chan I would prefer he doesn’t find out about us by walking in right after we had sex,” you said sternly letting go of his hand.

-

“Alright, I’ll see you at the bar in thirty minutes,” He leaned forward and gave you a quick kiss.

He grabbed a towel off the hanger and wrapped it around his waist before walking towards the living area to find Changbin sitting on the couch.

“Hey Changbin,” Chan said, running his finger through his wet hair.

“Where is (Y/N)?” he asked.

“She ran to the store, what’s up?” Chan asked, trying to change the subject.

“I was going to ask if you guys wanted to go to the bar and celebrate the fact that she got her restraining order,” Changbin asked, not bothering to question what you went to the store for. “Why is her bra on the floor?” Changbin asked, looking over at the foot of the bed.

Chan shook his head lightly and wanted to laugh at the fact that you forgot to pick up your bra, but then again, you weren’t exactly expecting company. “She was probably changing before heading out while I took a shower,” he lied.

Changbin shook his head, “telling me why (YN) didn’t come live with me.” He joked, “how is your back not killing you from sleeping on his hard couch?”

Chan shrugged his shoulders knowing damn well he hadn’t slept on the couch, that you and him had been sharing the bed long before you even had sex.

“I’m gonna get dressed and then we’ll head off to the bar, and we can call (Y/N) on the way and tell her to meet us there,” Chan said walking off towards his closet. He grabbed something casual to wear before heading off to the bathroom.

As soon as he walked inside he waited for you to say something. He turned on the bathroom sink attempting to make some noise so they could talk for a second.

“Do you just want to go out there now and tell him or do you want to keep up the lie until the bar?” he asked, reaching out and grabbing her hand.

“He’s gonna freak out,” you whispered knowing that Changbin wasn’t going to take this well.

“Yeah he’s gonna freak out if he finds out another way,” he whispered back as he started getting dressed.

-

“I’ll meet you at the bar and we’ll work this out there,” you said, sitting down on top of the toilet and watching as Chan got dressed. You couldn’t help but admire his body as he got dressed in front of you. Before leaving he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss goodbye. “I’ll call you in five so hurry and get dressed.”

Chan took off with Changbin towards the bar, and less than five minutes away Chan called you and told you to meet him at the bar. You quickly blow-dried your hair and got dressed so you could meet the boys at the bar.

You found them sitting in a booth with beer sitting in front of them. The second you got to the table Changbin jumped up and pulled you into a tight hug.

“What did you go to the store for?” Changbin asked as you slid into the booth next to Chan.

“I needed more shampoo and conditioner,” you lied.

Chan rested his hand on your thigh causally and gave it a light squeeze. You wanted to look over at him, but you didn’t want Changbin to notice what was happening.

“What did you want to drink?” Changbin asked as the waitress walked towards the table.

“I’ll take a cranberry and vodka,” you said.

“Okay hun,” the waitress said before walking off towards the bar.

“What did you guys do this evening?” Changbin asked casually before taking a drink of his beer.

Chan gave your thigh a squeeze as he said, “we ordered Chinese food and just hung out. Oh, and (YN) took a nap when we first got home,” Chan said it like it was no big deal that he had left out the major detail that you had also had sex a couple times.

“Sounds fun,” Changbin said sarcastically.

“I personally enjoy naps,” you said with a laugh.

Chan slowly rubbed his thumb against the inside of your thigh, it was a simple gesture but his touch was making her stomach fill with butterflies. Not even an hour ago you had admitted you loved each other and suddenly you were trying to act normal.

The waitress came over and sat your drink down in front of you and you gave her a quick thank you. You took a big drink attempting to get a little bit of courage because you knew you needed to tell Changbin that something was going on with Chan because you knew that he was gonna get pissed if you hid it from him any longer.

“So Changbin,” you hesitated. You weren't sure what exactly you should say to him.

“Yeah?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“I’m in love with Chan,” you just blurted it out because you weren't exactly sure what else to say. Changbin’s eyes just went really wide and he looked at you like you had two heads or something. It probably had something to do with the fact that you stated it like Chan had no clue.

Leaning his head forwards trying to process what you said he looked over at Chan who seemed extremely unfazed by your sudden statement.

“Chan, did you hear her?” Changbin asked, still confused.

Chan nodded his head, “yeah I did.”

You felt like you might faint suddenly. You weren't exactly sure why she stated it like that but you felt like you had gotten an adrenaline rush. You just stared at Changbin wondering how much he was going to freak out.

“Are you guys together?” Changbin asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

“We don’t know,” you said, realizing that you and Chan hadn’t exactly talked about that.

Chan squeezed her thigh again and said, “yeah I like to think we are.”

You looked over at him and smiled, your heart couldn’t help but race a little.

“Wait, did you guys lie to me when I asked if you were sleeping together?” Changbin asked, feeling slightly offended that you lied to him.

“No, we didn’t lie to you,” Chan said. “We talked about our feelings today,” he took his hand off your thigh and took your hand and laced his fingers with yours.

“I swear to God Chan if you break her heart, I’ll break your nose,” Changbin said, causing you and Chan to laugh. “Wait, is that why (Y/N’s) bra and underwear were on the floor…” Changbin's face dropped at his realization. “Did I almost walk in on you?” Changbin asked, suddenly feeling gross.

You scrunch your face up at the thought of Changbin walking in on you having sex. “Yeah you came kind of close,” you sighed.

“I would never be able to get that image out of my head,” he said, shaking his head at just the thought.

You and Chan couldn’t help but laugh.

The three of you hung out in the bar for a couple hours before you and Chan headed back up to Chan’s place. You walked inside holding hands, and you couldn’t help but feel happy and safe with Chan.

“Thank you so much for taking care of me,” you smiled, stepping towards him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and just smiled at him. Your lips connected for a soft kiss.

“I hope you don’t plan on moving out anytime soon,” he said with a little laugh.

“I’ll stay until you kick me out,” you laughed.

“I love you so much,” he smiled.

“I love you too Bang Chan,” you said resting your forehead against his.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[wanderersbell]

when he lets you wear his hat

wanderer x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: dark humor (just in the beginning)

word count: 1168

a/n: i am a firm believer that scara loves dark humor yes i might be projecting but nobody can change my mind ( ˘ ³˘)♥ enjoy!

your unwavering patience is something you’ve always taken pride in. 

there have only been a few instances where you’ve lost your cool in the fleeting years of your life, always feeling a certain kind of superiority in situations where you can hold your own even if it would be reasonable to let go for a moment. 

but now, after weeks of nonstop backhanded comments and complaints from your traveling companion, it is through sheer willpower alone that you haven’t turned around and tried to bite his head off every time he opens his mouth. 

“you seriously can’t swim?” the wanderer asks from somewhere behind you. “didn’t you ever have fun as a kid?”

you bite the inside of your cheek and keep up your brisk pace while he snickers to himself like it truly is the funniest thing in the world. the unforgiving desert sun is hot against your back and the fine grains of sand that keep finding their way into your shoes feel like they’re rubbing your skin raw, leaving you sweaty and miserable. 

the one traveling with you doesn’t share these sentiments, hardly even taking notice to uncomfortable sensations anymore, and thus remains entirely unbothered, much to your annoyance. 

he almost seemed understanding at first, suggesting you take a dip in a nearby oasis to cool off before you overheat, but one insignificant mention of your swimming skills, or lack thereof, had turned into him making fun of you for it before you could even begin to regret bringing it up. 

the wanderer doesn’t relent even when you keep ignoring him. “surely it’s not because you’re afraid, right? what’s so scary about water?” 

“quit it.” you warn him sharply, gritting your teeth so hard your jaw begins to ache. of course, you’re already expecting him to do the opposite. 

“wait, don’t tell me.” he starts, jogging a bit to catch up to you. “nobody bothered to teach you? mom just too busy to make time for you?”

this has you freezing in your tracks, coming to a halt beside him, and before you can even process the thought going through your head-

“at least i actually had one.”

the silence that follows is deafening as you snap your head up to stare at him, his expression of shock mirroring your own. guilt starts twisting around in your stomach as soon as the words leave your mouth, but the joyous laughter that erupts out of your traveling companion the next second chases it away as he hunches over and cackles.  

“that was incredible,” he gasps out. 

you narrow your eyes at the sight but you can’t help the smile that starts tugging at your lips seeing him thrown into such a genuine fit of giggles, the sound melodic and tugging at your heartstrings. “why are you laughing?”

he lifts an arm to wipe the sweat off of his forehead as he starts to calm down, leaving you with a bundle of conflicting emotions tangled together in your chest. 

“i never thought you had it in you.” he explains, sounding almost… proud? there’s an undeniable glow of satisfaction on his face, and it’s only then that you realize, this entire time, his goal was to get you to play along. 

“looks like you really can teach an old dog new tricks,” the wanderer shrugs, his usual shit-eating smirk returning to his lips. 

“i- wha?” you sputter incredulously. “haven’t you been around for centuries? and you’re calling me old?”

he makes a noncommittal sort of hum as you two start walking again. a comfortable silence falls over you both, the man beside you finally silent after getting what he wanted out of you. however, the heat isn’t any less forgiving than it was moments prior so your pace inevitably slows until you’re forced to stop and lean down to rest your hands on your knees, each inhale of hot air offering absolutely no relief. 

when he realizes you stopped walking and turns around to send you an unimpressed look it’s quickly replaced by poorly masked concern that shows in the furrow of his brows and the tight line of his lips. it’s only then that he remembers the bottle he watched you pack earlier that morning. 

“drink,” he says as he reaches into your bag and pulls out a full flask of water. you grab it from him gratefully and can’t help the sigh you release at the coolness of the liquid from being inside of a metal container. 

the wanderer watches you wordlessly as you twist the cap back on and turn to put it back in your bag, and the second you look away the feeling of something being placed on your head as well as suddenly being enveloped in the shade catches you by surprise. when you whip around to meet his gaze he avoids yours and walks a few steps ahead, arms crossed and hat mysteriously missing. 

when it clicks, your jaw drops a fraction and you reach up to slide your fingers along the gold metal leaves, finding them hot to the touch from the scorching sun. 

the wanderer never lets you touch his hat. not even as his trusted companion. every time you’ve tried in the past, he’s quick to step out of your way or slap your hand back whenever he sees you going for it. there’s a sparkle of joy in your eyes when he peeks out of the corner of his to take in your reaction and scoffs when he sees the awe on your face. 

“come on, let’s keep moving.” he huffs, tone sounding irritated. 

unused to the weight of the wide hat balanced on your head, you catch up to him on wobbly feet, one hand still holding onto the rim so it won’t tip off. how the wanderer manages to jump around and run without it sliding everywhere is beyond you, because it feels like it could fall off at any moment. 

this does not go unnoticed to the man next to you, but you’re too busy trying to stand straight and walk without tilting too much, so you’re not prepared for the gust of wind he flicks at you that tips the hat up and off, saved from falling to the ground only by his hand that shoots out to grab it and put it back the way it was before. 

“hey!” you pout indignantly, sending him a look of annoyance. when your meet eyes meet his, his vibrant indigo irises are swimming with mirthful contentment, and a small smile rests easily on his face. it’s not an expression you get see on him that often, but like always, it causes pitiful flutters in your chest. 

your frown softens despite yourself and you avert your gaze to the horizon where the sun hangs high in the sky, feeling thankful that you can just blame the flush staining your cheeks on the heat if he points it out. 

what a truly insufferable travel companion you have. 

[permanentswaps]

A Second Lease - The Wedding

See the original from @mrwavellswaps here. Its probably my favorite story ever.

Five years had passed since I made the decision to seal myself into my son's body permanently. And let me tell you, it's been nothing short of ecstasy. Today, as I stand here in front of the mirror, adjusting my tie, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude. It's my wedding day, and I'm about to marry the love of my life, Sean.

As I straighten my tie, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I can't help but pause and appreciate the sight. I turn slightly, flexing my biceps, admiring the sculpted physique that now defines me. The reflection staring back at me is a testament to the transformation I've undergone. This body, once my son's, now mine, is a masterpiece – sculpted muscles, flawless skin, and a confidence that radiates from every pore.

With a smirk, I run my hands over my chest, feeling the firmness of the muscles beneath my fingertips. I lift my shirt slightly, revealing the chiseled abs that now adorn my torso. It's a sight to behold, one that fills me with pride and satisfaction.

"You're looking good, Jay," I say to myself, unable to tear my gaze away from the mirror. I straighten my shirt and adjust my collar, feeling a surge of excitement as I prepare to embark on this new chapter of my life. Today is not just about marrying Sean; it's about celebrating the journey that has brought me to this moment.

There hasn't been a single day where I haven't felt thankful for the choice I made. I can still vividly remember the day I proposed to Sean. We were hiking in the mountains, surrounded by breathtaking views. I got down on one knee, my heart pounding with nervous excitement, and asked him to spend the rest of his life with me. The look of joy on his face as he said yes will forever be etched in my memory.

Meanwhile, my dad's life hasn't been as rosy as mine. Every month that went by, he still went back to the woods, hoping against hope that he can reverse the swap. I can't say I blame him. After all, since I've been in control, this body has only gotten better. But unfortunately for him, no matter how many times he threw coins into that mystical well, it still never worked.

As the years went on, I noticed he began to look older than before. Whereas I kept my hair neat and trimmed and – in my eyes – quite youthful, he let himself go a bit. His long hair was still handsome, but definitely aged him up.

As he struggled to hold onto his youth, I eventually succumbed to a bit of guilt and couldn't keep the truth from him any longer. I came clean about what happened – about how I made that wish and sealed our fates. And let's just say, he didn't take it well.

"I made the choice that was best for me, Dad. It's time you accepted it," I stated firmly.

He stormed off, cursing me as he walked. "This is how you fucking repay me?" he shouted. "And why does that make any sense? Even if you wanted to keep my body forever, why would you make it so that the well wouldn’t work on me anymore?"

You might be asking yourself the same question. Why did I make both our bodies impervious to magic? Well, to be honest, I needed to ensure that I would be the only Jay – no other versions to detract from the attention. Nobody to take away the perfect life that I was living. And someone to stand in my place, so people wouldn't make my life a hassle coming and asking what happened to my dad.

Looking back, I can't help but acknowledge the brilliance of my decision. I mean, come on, look at me – I'm hot, young, and irresistible. But I can't help but wonder what it would have been like to let myself keep this version of it forever. But hey, I still look amazing, and that's not changing anytime soon.

As for my dad, he refused to come to the wedding. I'm not surprised, really. Ever since I came clean about what happened, our relationship has been strained, to say the least. But you know what? It's no bother. Because at the end of the day, Sean is all I need.

As I stand in front of the mirror, lost in my thoughts, the sound of the door creaking open breaks the silence. Sean's presence behind me is electric, his hungry smirk sending a jolt of anticipation through my body. As he wraps his arms around my waist, I can't help but smile, feeling his warmth against my skin.

"You clean up well, babe," Sean's voice is like velvet, low and husky. His fingers trace along the contours of my chest, sending shivers down my spine. The warmth of his breath against my ear sends a thrill through me as he whispers, "But you know what would make this look even better?"

Before I can respond, our lips meet in a fiery, passionate kiss, igniting a blaze of desire between us. With a teasing tug, Sean rips off my shirt, leaving only the tie around my neck. "You're one sexy hunk," he murmurs, his gaze filled with hunger as he takes in my exposed chest.

Moving towards the bed, Sean takes hold of the tie, using it as a leash to guide me, a silent command that I'm more than willing to follow. As he lines up his cock against my eager hole, I can't help but marvel at his size, every thrust sending waves of pleasure coursing through me.

"You've been putting in extra hours at the gym, babe," Sean chuckles sexily, his voice sending shivers down my spine. "I can tell."

He keeps pounding me. Its so good I can hardly stand it.

"God, Jay," Sean gasps, his voice strained with pleasure, "you feel so good."

Hearing him use that name, Jay, ignites a fire within me, fueling my desire as I flex my muscles, showing off for him.

As our passion builds, reaching its peak, we both find release our massive loads together, our bodies moving in perfect harmony as waves of ecstasy wash over us. In the aftermath, Sean's fingers trace patterns across my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. "You're amazing," he whispers, his voice filled with reverence and adoration.

As Sean puts his shirt back on, I can't help but voice my concern about staining it. But he just chuckles, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Don't worry, babe," he reassures me, "it'll dry. And then, when we're on the altar and dancing the night away, it'll be our sexy little secret."

Later, as we stand at the altar, preparing to exchange our vows, my mind drifts back to our passionate encounter. Aside from being extremely horny for him, I also feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the love and happiness that Sean brings into my life. Becoming Jay and making his life my own was definitely the right decision. And as Sean and I embark on this new chapter together, I'm ready for whatever lies ahead.

[coconut-dreamz]

you're losing me

'how long can we be a sad song' || tom blyth x reader

part two

a/n: i felt angsty and i love this song so i wanted to write something based off of it

you say, "i don't understand, " and i say, "i know you don't" we thought a cure would come through in time, now i fear it won't

the fights felt as if they were never ending lately. it hadn't always been this way, but that felt like a lifetime ago. the problems had started when tom began filming for tbosas but they had ceased when filming for it wrapped. but your relationship wasn't the same as it was before. now it was time for promotions and the fights had started up once again.

"i don't understand! why do we keep having to have this fight over and over again!" tom shouted. you scoff in disbelief at his outburst. he didn't know why you felt so insecure and jealous? it wasn't like you had told him at least a dozen times before.

"you know what, just go on your tour alone. i don't want to ruin it with our fighting." you resign, taking your already packed suitcase back into the apartment, away from the door. "you should go, the cab's waiting." you tell him quietly, unable to look up from the ground.

he just sighs, "alright, i'll see you in a few weeks." staring at you, waiting for you to look up at him. " have a safe flight," you look up at him, but refuse to meet his eyes. he just thanks you and heads out the door.

remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time do I throw out everything we built or keep it?

you sat in the dark room of your shared apartment with tom. you had picked it because of the view of the city lights, but now it just felt cold and desolate, like nobody lived here. in all honesty, it hadn't been lived in for awhile. with tom gone for movie promotions, you hadn't been able to be here alone, opting to stay with a friend instead.

you don't know where to go from here. should you salvage what remained of your relationship with tom? or should you scrap everything and start new?

the latter choice had been seeming more and more appealing as of late. you hadn't heard from tom in days. at first you chalked it up to him being busy and the time difference, but you saw he posted a new croissant review and realized he was ignoring you. where had it all gone wrong?

i'm getting tired even for a phoenix always risin' from the ashes mendin' all her gashes you might just have dealt the final blow

you had made the mistake of watching one of tom's latest interviews with his costar rachel. you watched it because you'd missed him, but now that you'd watched it, you wished you just stayed missing him. you didn't miss the way they looked at each other. it'd been so long since you'd looked at each other like that. your eyes were always filled with rage or tears whenever you saw him lately.

you were just so tired of it all. you contemplated texting him and breaking things off. it'd be a whole lot easier that way. maybe the weight on your chest would be lifted. but a part of you didn't want to let go of him. he'd been your everything once.

stop, you're losin' me i can't find a pulse my heart won't start anymore for you 'cause you're losin' me

"how are you baby?" tom asks, his voice cutting through the silence, breaking you out of your reverie. he managed to find some time to call you while on his press tour. "huh? oh, i'm fine. how are you? how's press tour going?" you ask absentmindedly, hearing you ask about tour sparked a light in tom's eyes. he started rambling about the antics he and his cast mates had been up to.

you smiled fondly hearing him talk, until he mentioned rachel. she'd been a sore spot in your relationship lately. the mere mention of her name left a sour taste in your mouth. the grin on your face immediately swept off.

"it's getting late, i think i'm gonna go to bed. i hope the rest of your tour goes well," you fake a smile, trying to hurry to end the facetime call. "oh, i guess it is late over there. i love you, sleep well.” he bids you a goodnight. "love you," you reply and end the call. you bury yourself in your blankets, tired of the emotional turmoil that was caused by your relationship lately.

every mornin', i glared at you with storms in my eyes how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? i sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick my face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick

you'd lost the glow your skin once had. it'd became increasingly noticeable to those around you. your makeup artist had to try harder to make it less noticeable on red carpets and photo shoots. but it was all in vain, everyone noticed how you'd looked sickly lately, everyone but tom.

or, if he did, he didn't mention anything about it. "you look great." he complimented as you two climbed into the car that was to take you to the premiere of his film. it had taken your makeup artist a lot longer than usual to do your makeup, having to cover up the blemishes and gray tone of your skin from the lack of care you'd given yourself lately. you’d been opting to lay around in bed, moping.

"thanks," you mutter as the car begins to move. you picked at your nails, something you'd picked up lately to help deal with your nerves. you no longer could have any type of nails, you'd bit them down to nubs lately. but tom didn't seem to have noticed. he didn't seem to notice anything about you lately.

and the air is thick with loss and indecision i know my pain is such an imposition now, you're runnin' down the hallway and you know what they all say you don't know what you got until it's gone

"stop! where are you going?" shit. you stop dead in your tracks, tom was home early for once. you'd thought he wouldn't back for another day or two. "did you hear me?" he makes his way in front of you. you try avoiding his gaze, but it was difficult when his icy blue eyes stared into your soul.

you tried to formulate the words to tell him it was over. "i'm leaving." you finally managed to say. his concerned eyes turn frantic at your words. "what?" he whispers out, grabbing your hand. "you're leaving? why?" you take a breath, you tried leaving when he was gone because you couldn't face him. "things haven't been the same lately. i think we need a break. i'm going to stay with a friend. i'll come back for the rest of my things later. i think it's best if we don't talk for awhile." you manage out, finally meeting his eyes.

what a mistake. his previously concerned eyes were now filled with sadness. you tried moving past him to your car. he grabs your hand one more time, "can you at least tell me what's wrong?" you sigh hearing this, "i think you know why, tom." is all you answer, dragging your suitcase behind you.

how long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life? i gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy and all i did was bleed as i tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only your army frontlines , don't you ignore me

it'd been a few weeks since you'd moved out of your shared apartment with tom. you felt relieved when you had finally walked out of the apartment. it had been feeling less like a home and more like a prison lately. you felt stuck in time in there. everyone around you was moving forward their lives, your friends, family and especially tom, but there you were. stuck waiting around for tom to give you the time of day.

you'd spend too long waiting around for your relationship to go back to how it once was. you'd given that relationship your all but got the bare minimum back in return. you should've called time of death on it months ago, but a big part of you wasn't ready to let go. you had spent your best years with him after all.

and i wouldn't marry me either a pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her

you and tom used to talk about the future all the time. laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and giggling about your thoughts on what the future had in store. you told him about your dream wedding and he told you about how he wanted a cozy home with a big yard for your future children.

but that seemed so far in the past. you suppose he changed his mind. who'd want to marry a person who'd give every piece of themselves for someone who won't even bat an eye at them? you'd given him your all in the last year of your relationship, but had gotten nothing in return. all in an attempt to bring back what you both once had.

and i'm fadin', thinkin' "do something, babe, say something" "lose something, babe, risk something" "choose something, babe, i got nothing to believe unless you're choosin' me"

you laid in the makeshift bed of your friend’s studio apartment waiting for tom to reach out. you were aware of what you had told him, but you wanted to see if he truly did care about your relationship.

it hurt to see him happy on set of billy the kid. you followed his castmates and it hurt to see the snippets of him on their stories. he looked so happy and carefree. the exact opposite of how you were feeling and probably looked.

you hoped he was just respecting your wishes of having no contact for a few weeks, but the small voice in the back of your mind was screaming that he didn't care. that he was happier without you, that he was better off now that you were gone.

you're losin' me stop, you're losin' me stop, you're losin' me i can't find a pulse my heart won't start anymore

a constant buzzing woke you up from your deep sleep. you blindly search for your phone. when you find it, the clock shows that it's exactly 12 in the morning. you hit answer without looking at the contact. "hello?" you answer, your voice raspy from lack of use.

"love? it's me, tom. it's been exactly 6 weeks like you said. can we finally talk?"

[empressdede]

Into The New Year

You & Jimmy find out how you’ll make it into the new year

Tagging: @whatdoeseverybodywant @theninthwonder @harmshake @gomussy @raya-hunter01 @jeyusos-girl @2-muchsauce

________________________________________

Y/N really did not want to go to her friends Into The New Year party, you weren’t in the mood to celebrate the holidays anymore, having to miss Christmas and staying on the road was starting to take a toll on you.

You missed home.

And you didn’t blame the other wrestlers for trying to party their life away to distract themselves from the same problems you were facing but you just weren’t feeling it.

“C’mon Y/N your the only one who’s gonna be stuck at the hotel feeling miserable. We get it, your homesick but your not the only one.” Rhea stated and the entire women’s locker room was agreeing with her.

“At least come. Spend 30 minutes and if you hate it, you can go back to the hotel room and we’ll leave it at that.” Your friend, Renee stated.

You didn’t want to argue about it anymore, and they were right, what was popping in for half an hour going to hurt?

So that is how you found yourself, getting ready with the girls and taking in the scenery of the girls dancing around it made you smile. Maybe this isn’t so bad. So you let the moment sink in and got out of your head to enjoy it with them.

________________________________________

The music was starting to take over and Y/N was starting to let go. Renee was persistent on making her feel better and damn if she wasn’t succeeding.

Y/N tossed a drink back, three shots in and let herself wine to the music.

“Okay girl, I see you.” Bianca had cheered and it brought a smile to her face.

Unbeknownst to Y/N, Renee had convinced her to come because she had plans of her own. She made Y/N wear her best clothes and gassed her head up to dance her heart out because she needed her distracted. And the rest of the locker room had no problem getting on board to help distract Y/N.

“What are you waiting for?” Renee asked Jon. He’s been watching you all night, but he hesitated to make the approach because he refuses to make a fool of himself, even if nobody would remember it. He would and that’s not something he wants engraved in his head.

“What are you talking about?”

“I seen you been watching my friend all night but if you trynna make a move on her, it ain’t gon happen with you sittin’ over here in the corner.”

“Renee-“

“I threw this damn party for you! You know how hard it was to get Y/N to come out here?”

Jon let a small sigh, because she’s right. Everyone knew how much Y/N carried on her face how upset she was for the holidays and to see her out here was literally his one in a million chance.

“I wish Josh never told you about my small crush on her.”

Renee rolled her eyes. “Jonathan; even if Josh didn’t tell me, a blind man can see you like her.”

“Cap” he replied and that caused his brothers to laugh at him. Everyone knew he had a crush on her, he wasn’t as discreet as he thought he was being.

“Aye man, quit being a pussy and go dance with her. No disrespect, but allat ass she throwing, Go catch it!” Josh stated and pushed his brother towards your direction.

I guess it’s now or never Jonathan thought to himself as he walked over to you.

He watched you gyrate your hips on Bianca to Up Down by T- Pain, and he watched you caress her hands over your body as the both of you wined slowly against each other.

Black card (card) party in the backyard (backyard)

Shorty got the black bra showin’ (black bra showin’)

Tatted up (Tatted up) ass fat enough ('Nough)

She a bad bitch and she already know it (Yeah, she know it.)

Bianca seen him walking towards the two and she nodded him over so that they would be able to switch.

As the song melodies changed, Y/N bent over to twerk against Bianca and that was the perfect time for Jimmy to slide in when Bianca stepped back.

His hand gripped onto your hips and pulled you back into him repeatedly, the motion mimicking back shots. The tightness of the hands against your skin made you turn around to see who had trade places with Bianca and when you seen Jimmy behind you, you felt your heartbeat pick up.

The FINEST man on the roster was catching her back it up and she was not gonna let the opportunity slip through her fingers. The liquor running throughout her body gave her the courage to continue with the dance.

Whole bank account, I blow it (I blow it)

Go do a show then (Do a show then)

Bring some mo’ in (Bring some mo’ in)

Y/N’s hands were placed on her knees and continued to twerk against his hips. Bianca and Rhea who were the closest to the two watched the interaction and started to holler in excitement to hype you up.

As they gassed you up, you started to throwing it back on him so crazy. A hype crowd started to form around the two of you and any nervousness that the both of you had dissolved and the energy that began to transpire was what they fed off of.

“Aye! Fuck it up Y/N!” Renee hyped up as she watched you continue to bounce off him.

Throwin that ass for days

Booty going up, down

I ain’t got no problem spendin all of my money

Trynna see what’s up now

I can do this all day like it ain’t nuttin’

As the song ended, Y/N straightened herself and pressed her back against his chest as another song started to play.

“You mind if I steal you away for a second?” Jimmy whispered in your ear and who were you to deny him anything?

Your hands grabbed onto his that was still gripping onto your hips and lead him outside to catch your breath and give yourself just a little bit of privacy to talk.

The second they were outside, Jimmy let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re impossible you know that?”

You bit back a smirk as you turned to face him, tilting your head to side with faux confusion shining through your eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought we said that we didn’t want anyone to know about us?”

“WE didn’t say anything. You didn’t want anyone to know about us and I didn’t come to dance on you, you came to me Jim. So what’s really the problem?”

He stepped closer to you, “It’s starting to piss me off watching you shake ass for every dude in there.”

For almost seven months now, you and Jimmy have been sneaking around with each other to chase a high only the two of you can bring to each other. There was a point of time, you found yourself getting irritated that Jimmy kept flirting with almost anyone he could -even if it was playful- and he loved to remind you that it didn’t matter because he was single and so were you. After that, you made sure to keep anything you felt to yourself because when it was your turn, you didn’t wanna hear a word either.

“I’m single Jimmy.” You reminded him with a small smirk etched onto your face. “So it doesn’t matter if it pissed you off or not.”

“Wanna bet?” ________________________________________

A soft moan left Y/N’s mouth as her back arched off the bed, shivering from the kisses Jimmy was placing down her body. He was teasing her, making her really crave his touch.

His eyes stayed glued to hers as he continued his way down until he was facing exactly where he wanted to be, in-between her legs. He moved his head directly above her pussy and used his fingers to pull her panties to the side And separate your lips apart to blow air on your clit.

He hasn’t even touched you yet and you were soaked. You felt yourself tense up but quickly relaxed as his tongue slid up and down your clit.

"Oh fuck" you hissed in pleasure as your head fell back. Jimmy didn’t waste no time burying his face between your legs. He flicked his tongue against your clit in a premeditated way that he knew was going to make you cum fast. Jimmy didn’t want to wait to teach his lesson to Y/N, he needed you to recognize now just who you were dealing with.

He locked one arm around your thigh and pushed two fingers into you, thrusting his fingers in and out of you and pushed his face deeper, sliding his tongue up and down her slit.

"Fuck Jimmy…wait" you panted out, bucking your hips trying to run from the immense pleasure he was giving you but he wasn’t haven’t none of that. Your moan got stuck in your throat as your back arched off the bed and you tried to push his head away from you.

Jimmy pulled himself away from you for only a second, placing his lips back on your clit to suck on it as the pace of his fingers quickened.

"Ohhh shit Jimmy" you cried out and your hand slid to the bed to grip onto the sheets, this feeling was your favorite feeling in the world and it made Jimmy’s chest fill with pride when he felt your legs start to shake. He knew it was only him that could make you feel like this and he wanted to prove his point.

Your moans filled the air, growing louder and louder and it sounded like music to his ears. Jimmy didn’t give a fuck who heard you, he hoped they heard you because as you continued to call out his name he came up with his New Year’s resolution: letting the whole world know who made her feel like this.

Jimmy moaned against her, the vibrations caused you to slightly jump and it forced him to tightened his hold on you so you could stay in place and returned his attention to your clit, sucking on it hard as his fingers tapped against your g-spot. Your thighs started to shake even more, giving Jimmy exactly what he’s been chasing since he started. That quick release from you.

"Jimmmyyyy" You cried out loudly as you came in his mouth, clenching the sheets tightly. Your heart was beating so loud and fast and your head moved from to side as the euphoric feeling took over. "Fuckkkk."

Jimmy chuckled as he pulled away from you, giving you some time to catch your breath.

He hovered over your body, placing both his hands on both side of your head and leaned down to kiss you, sliding his tongue into your mouth, causing you to moan as you tasted yourself on him. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, his right hand moving to trail down your body and stopped at your panties. When you felt his hand, you lifted your hips to help him pull them off you.

Once they were completely off you, he pulled away from the kiss and pulled his shirt over his head. "Face down, ass up mama, don’t make me ask you again."

As you assumed the position, you heard shuffling behind you and you knew he was getting completely naked. Anticipation of whatever was come had you shaking with excitement. You loved with Jimmy got like this, you love pushing his buttons to have him give it to you better.

"This won’t stop me from giving Tez that dance you know?” You teased, a sultry tone in your voice.

Jimmy bit his lip as he stared at her deep arch and shook his head at her letting out a dark chuckle that caused you to shiver, "Damn baby, now I’m really finna fuck you up."

Your clit throbbed in anticipation and you gripped the sheets to prepare the insertion, and no matter how much you guys have done this over the past seven months, nothing could’ve prepared you for the feeling of him slowly pushing into you, stretching you out and filling you up.

"Shit"

"Oh my fucking Go-" you gasped, pushing back to break your arch just a bit but Jimmy quickly pushed you back down; holding you in place as he thrusted slowly until he felt you relax to let him all the way in.

"There we go princess, let daddy in." He cooed out

Jimmy began to pick up speed and your moans started to fill up the air. The clapping sounds of their skins bouncing against each other soon mangled into her moans as he kept fully pushing into her. He was going to break her back in tonight, wasn’t nobody getting a dance from her but him tonight.

Jimmy watched with slight amusement as he watched you move forward slightly every time he pushed himself all the way in. He chuckled and gripped on your hips and brought you back to him to fuck you harder.

"Where the fuck you going Y/N?"

You let out a cry, one of your hands reaching back to press against his stomach to push him back but he smacked your hand away from him. "Huh, I can’t hear you." He pressed, slapping your ass as he continued to fuck you. "You runnin’ from me?"

You shook your head, pressing your face into the sheet to let your loud moans out. Jimmy chuckled at you, keeping on of his hands on your waist and the other to grab onto your hair to force yourself back up. He pushed himself against you and pressed his lips against your ears and whispered darkly "I said I can’t hear you."

You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head as he pushed himself deeper into you. It took a second for the words to fully register before you stuttered out, "No Daddy, M’not running." You slurred out.

Your head fall back against his shoulder so he let go of your hair and wrapped his hand around your neck instead, drilling brutal strokes into you. You cried out at the feeling, one hand reaching to grip onto his forearm and dig your nails into his skin.

"Fuck baby, thassit. Daddy making you feel good?"

"Yeeesssss, oh my fuck- feels so gooood."

Nothing could prepare you for the unexpected orgasm that ripped through you. A loud cry leaving your lips as he helped you ride the high out, grinding into you and rubbing onto your clit. The way you squeezed around him caused him to groan out. He wasn’t gonna cum yet. Not tell you came to an agreement with his New Year’s resolution.

"Fuccckk" you sighed out and Jimmy pulled out of you

"You okay mama?"

You tiredly nodded your head.

Jimmy laid you flat on your back, letting his eyes drink in your current state. Low eyes but a sated expression on your face. He leaned in a pecked your lips twice.

"Good, cause it’s my turn now." He mumbled against your lips before pushing himself back up again. He grabbed both of your legs and placed them on his shoulders.

"And Imma keep going till you forget about anyone else but me."

And he was a man who kept his promise, he definitely knew that coming into the new year he had to change the dynamic of their relationship by any means necessary.

_______________________

Happy New Years My lovelies. Let 2024 bring my nastiest side yet😭😭

[rubykgrant]

Idea for a Magnus Archives AU (that I don't have time to write all the way out, but it still intrigues me~)

At some point after Martin's father left, but when he was still very young, somebody offered to bring Mrs Blackwood some furniture. Used, but still in good condition. She refused, insulted by the idea that she needed "pity" or "charity", despite the fact that her health is already making things difficult... one day, while her son is at school, she hears a knock at the door. It takes her a while to get there. When she finally opens it, whoever knocked is gone, but they have left behind a table.

She assumes it was the same person as before, and is now irritated that they have "dumped" their old junk on her doorstep. A neighbor sees and offers to at least bring it inside. She decides it may as well be put to use, so she lets the neighbor move it in. Alone in the house, she looks the table over. It certainly isn't new, but isn't too beat-up or broken. It has a VERY unique pattern... almost like an optical illusion...

When Martin gets home from school, he's surprised to see that his mother is in the kitchen, getting ready to cook dinner; she hasn't done that in a year! He offers to help, or just make himself a sandwich and canned soup if she wants to rest, but she assures him that she's feeling MUCH better. This continues for several months, the doctors are amazed by what seems to be a miracle recovery! All the neighbors and old friends agree, she's also had a change in attitude lately, but it all seems for the better. Her son is especially happy... his mother seems so much more "gentle" than she used to be, and she doesn't even make him drink oolong tea with her anymore. She's decided that Earl Grey is better.

Nobody notices that her hair is a different length, a different color. Nobody notices the shape of her eyes and jawline has changed. Nobody notices that she's taller. Not any friends, neighbors, doctors, or family. Even all the photographs in the house have changed. A different woman is holding a tiny, newborn baby. A different woman is sitting next to a small Christmas tree, helping a child open a present. Nobody notices... except for one person.

When Mr Blackwood heard from an old friend that the wife he left had recovered, he suddenly had second thoughts. He really had thought she would die, and he must have had some sort of break-down. He couldn't handle it, so he ran away... but he's thinking clearly again. It has nothing to do with the fact that he also heard his wife recently got a new job, a very well-paying one with the kind of health plan that a spouse could share. It has nothing to do with the fact that he isn't feeling well himself lately, and he's noticed that he has nobody to take care of HIM. It has nothing to do with the fact that he hasn't been able to find work, and he also can't find a place to live. He just wants to go back because he misses his wife and son. That's all.

When Mr Blackwood returned, he brought flowers. To apologize. He knocked on the door, and heard a muffled voice call- "Come in!". He picked a time of day when he knew Martin would be at school, so he and his wife could reunite with some privacy. He expected his wife to be upset. He expected his wife to be angry, maybe cry, or try to throw something at him. He expected it would take time for his wife to let him explain, then forgive him. He expected HIS WIFE. The woman in this home was not his wife... she said she was, she smiled, used his name like she knew him, but she WASN'T. Her voice, face, EVERYTHING was different! This was wrong, why was this strange woman here?

He ran away, even though she called for him to stay. He tried to speak with their friends, her family... everybody acted like he was crazy. They acted like the woman claiming to be his wife was right. After months and months of trying to talk some sense into people, he finally remembers Martin; surely a child would know their own mother? Mr Blackwood has been watching the house, and he sees little Martin kiss the woman good-bye, then leave for school. As if everything was normal. He can't stand it anymore! He bursts through the door, shouting at the woman to tell the truth, but the noise alerts the neighbors, who call for help, and he leaves...

He stays away for more than a year, but he never went far. He kept watching. He tried to figure out WHY somebody would pretend to be his wife, and HOW she could fool everybody. It never makes any sense. He comes back again, in the middle of winter. Martin is sleeping over at a friend's house. Mr Blackwood has been sleeping in an old treehouse, long abandoned by the kids who built it. He can't stand the idea of that strange woman sleeping in the bed that SHOULD be his (that would have been his, if he hadn't left). He uses his key to open the back door. She hasn't changed the locks. He goes in, ready to be rough if necessary; he will get the truth if it kills him.

Around 2 in the morning, Mrs Blackwood calls for help. Her husband, the one who left her, the one who came back and threatened her, just tried to attack her! She fought back, and he ran off again. No trace of him is ever found. When Martin comes home, they have a discussion, and decide it isn't safe to life here anymore. So they move, not too far, Martin can still visit people he knew growing up. The new house is much nicer, in a safe neighborhood.

They take just about everything with them, except for a few large pieces of furniture they sell. Mrs Blackwood wants to keep the table with the unique pattern, though. She's grown rather fond of it. The movers she hired are... odd, but they get everything to the new home very quickly. When his mother speaks with the two of them beside their truck, Martin watches from a window, and he has the strangest feeling that... his mother might just step up into it, and ride away with them. Then she'll be gone, and he'll be alone. He can't explain why, but he almost expects it to happen.

She doesn't leave. She comes back inside, smiling, and hugs her child. Why wouldn't she? As the years go by, Martin wonders about his father; why the man left, why he came back, why he seemed so confused about who his own wife was. Martin also wonders what his father looked like, as none of the pictures they saved show his face. Mrs Blackwood tells her son- "I suppose there's a resemblance, but when I look at you, I just see YOU, not him. I love you too much to see your father in your features".

Martin grows up happy and safe with his mother. He's able to finish school, and eventually starts working at a bakery. Later, when he moves out to get his own place, he finds a job at a restaurant-confectionery in London. His mother didn't want him living so far away, but he really wants to sort of "get out in the world", have some experience on his own. Someday, he'd like to have his own tea shop and cafe. He works from the middle of the day to late shifts at the cafe, and he gets to know some of the regulars very well. One woman, Sasha, comes in often to get food and drinks for her coworkers. Martin likes chatting with her, and eventually meets Tim when they come to have lunch together. He considers them to be friends.

One day, they call and tell Martin they want to order the most extravagant cake possible for their boss; it is his birthday, and they are going to be obnoxious about it, but also trick him so he doesn't know they've planned something. Martin offers to bring it over himself, so they can pretend to not be up to anything. This is how he enters the Magnus Institute. This is how he meets Jonathan Sims. This is how he starts learning about the strange things they research here. This is how he sees a picture of a table with a very curious pattern. This is how he asks if he can listen to the statement about that table...

[cilliansdove]

BABY IM SORRY || tommy shelby imagine

pairings: tommy shelby x fem!reader

warnings: postnatal depression/ angst/ suicidal thoughts/ mentions of self harm

summary: y/n's struggling with postnatal depression.

a/n: I am not responsible for the writing you consume. If anything in my writing makes you feel uncomfortable, I apologise, however I can't do much about it. This is my writing and I take full credit for it so please do not copy x paste/rewrite the writing. You may repost/like/comment etc. Enjoy reading!!

There was a feeling of emptiness in my gut that'd been lingering for a while now. It made me feel weak, spoke sorrows to me- told me I wasn't doing nor giving enough; that I was worthless. It got to me all the time sometimes. And it wasn't something I could run away from, or something I could escape. It was glued to me, embedded itself in my skin and made me feel dirty.

I'd spend hours in the bathtub, scrubbing at my skin till it bled and the water made me shiver from the coldness of it.

Tommy never knew about it, I made sure of it. However, it seemed pretty obvious to me, so perhaps he didn't have the time to care anymore. Either that, or I really was useless. To both Tommy and the baby.

No amount of words could portray the numbness I felt around the mini me. As a mother, I'm meant to be able to nurture the little human, yet as of now, I haven't even looked at them for a week.

Frances always gives me this 'look' of sympathy when she sees me; it makes me feel sick. But then again, I always seem to be feeling sick nowadays.

And Mrs Shelby. A name I was no longer living up to. I was destroying the title completely. I stopped organising charity events, stopped going out. I was a rotting corpse, in a rotting home.

Worst of all, Tommy had finally caught on. That didn't hurt, no. It was the look in his eye that made me heart clench- the way his body slumped after seeing how drained I was.

I felt tears begin to brim in my empty eyes, "I'm sorry..." I kept my eyes glued to the floor as I couldn't bare to look him in the eyes.

Tommy cupped my chin and tilted it upwards so I'd look at him. He tilted his head to the side, observing me from head to toe, like I was damaged. As if it wasn't only my head rotting anymore, it was my body too.

His fingertips traced my greying cheekbone and he leant his face down to brush his nose against mine.

"No, Y/n. This is my fault," A tear streamed down his face and I frowned at him, "Baby I'm sorry...I should've been here for you and I haven't," Tommy pressed his forehead against mine.

I hesitantly closed my eyes and nodded my head, "It's okay-"

He cut me off, "No it's not. Don't make excuses for my poor behaviour," He frowned softly and cupped my jaw , "Y/n what's wrong, love?"

I looked at him emptily, baffled by his question. I didn't have an answer to it. But I swallowed down my fear and answered meekly, "I'm not sure, Tommy..."

He looked behind me, gawking at the mess of our bedroom.

"Where's Charlie? Why aren't you with him?"

His words made me choke up, causing tears to freely spill from my eyes. With the little strength I had, I squeezed the fabric of his shirt, and he got the hint.

Tommy put my head on his chest and stroked through the knots in my hair.

"He doesn't need me, Tommy. I'm not good enough to him. I can't feed him properly, I can't settle him. For fuck sakes, I can't even hold him! I'm a disgrace of a mother and a wife. A no good, stupid-"

He shut me off with a gentle kiss to my lips. They moved soothingly against mine, giving me a small sense of comfort.

Tommy pulled away gently, and cupped my face, looking me dead in the eye with a sympathetic look. The same one Frances always gave me.

"You listen to me now, ay?"

I weakly nodded.

"You a no disgrace, Y/n, I can promise you that, my love. And it hurts me that you think you aren't good enough, because god forbid, Y/n, if I didn't have you, there would be no 'Tommy Shelby'. I'd be a nobody," he rests his forehead against mine, "but you are hurting yourself, love. And I am in no way blaming you for that, but it isn't necessary. I love you, yeah? That little boy in his bed loves you too. He thinks the world of you, Y/n. So please, please, love. Come back to me."

I let out a small sob and nodded. But the longer I listened to him, the more the guilt opened its arms to me.

I fell into Tommy, hugging him tightly as I buried my face into his shoulder.

He cooed to me, "It's okay, love. Shh...shh...it's alright. I'm not angry at you, I'm just...scared."

Slowly, I untucked my face from his shoulder, and looked at the tear stains on his shirt. I sniffled and looked up at him. Tommy wiped away my tears with his thumbs.

"I never meant to scare you, Tom."

"I know, love. I know."

____________________________________________

A week later he had taken me to the doctors. They had diagnosed me with postnatal depression. It was the cause to my mood changes, especially towards the baby.

There was no clear fixture other than to 'talk things out'. So I did.

Tommy made me cuddle up to him in bed, and rest my head on his chest so he could stroke my hair.

"Just talk when you can, sweetheart. Or if you're not ready, that's okay too, yeah?"

I let out a deep sigh and snuggled closer to him. Both my fists were clenched, but after a couple minutes, I relaxed.

"Promise you won't be angry?" I looked at him nervously.

Tommy rolled his head back, looking up at the ceiling, "We've spoken about this, Y/n/n. I'm not gonna be angry, ay? I just want to help you, alright?"

"Alright."

I dwelled on whether to speak or be silent.

The urge to tell him how I felt was eating away at me. It was now or never.

"Tommy..." I sat up in the bed, and lay the same way he did. On my back, with an arm under my head on the pillow- staring up at the ceiling.

"Tommy I hurt myself..." My eyes didn't blink for what felt like hours. After saying it, it made what I had done, seem real.

He didn't speak either, which rattled my nerves. Was he angry? Disappointed? Did he not love me anymore? Did he-

"Show me."

I dashed up, and stared at him, "Are you absurd? No!"

He shot out of bed and pinned me to him by my shoulders, making me shriek.

"For god sakes, woman! I need to see it, Y/n!"

He towered over me, his piercing blue eyes shooting at me. I squirmed in his tight grip, trying to get out of it.

"Stop it!" I sobbed, giving up, "S-Stop it."

My body slumped in his grip, and I let my knees buckle and take me to the floor.

Tommy pulled me back up and whispered gently to me ,"Please, love...I need to see. If you don't show me, Y/n, I'll have to go rooting myself."

A deep sob wrecked through me and I gripped his shirt tightly. He wasn't giving me a choice. He was being unfair. Tommy wouldn't want to see the damage I'd caused to myself. It was disgusting.

Hesitantly, I let the straps of my dress slip down my shoulders, allowing it to pool to my feet. I watched as Tommy's eyes were met with the discolouration on my thighs. I watched as his eyebrows flipped upwards. I watched as he didn't blink. I watched him shake his head.

Out of the blue, he pulled me to him in a tight embrace whilst he let out heavy sobs. Ones that made my heart ache.

Without thinking about it, I let my hands run through his hair in attempt to soothe him. But his body was getting heavy on me so i sat us on the bed.

He gazed at me with his puffy eyes, "Why, Y/n? Why, love?"

I shrugged with a blank look on my face. I wasn't sure how to react to the situation.

"I don't know...I thought it was the only way to cope," I looked at the ceiling to stop myself from crying, "It took away the emptiness I felt. I couldn't talk to you...because I didn't want to burden you further with my baggage."

"Oi! I vowed to you that I would look after you through thick and thin, and through sickness and health," he planted a kiss on my temple, "You have never been a burden to me, my love. And you never will be. Because I love you."

I frowned at him, a confused look in my eye, "I don't understand."

"You don't need to. All you need to know, is that I love you no matter the issue, okay?"

____________________________________________

- part 2??🤔🤔

[libraryofgage]

A Hop, a Skip, and a TARDIS Jump

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two (on the way!) Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One (you're here!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz)

I know it says 10Rose up there, but this series starts with 9Rose, because 9 is also special blorbo in my heart hfjdks Christopher Eccleston didn't have to put his whole chest into the role but he did and I love that for him

Anyway, have fun with this one! We're getting time travel shenanigans coming up (and angst, def some angst, but it'll end sweet I promise), and a little meme at the end

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't :)

Satellite Five 200,000

Running into the woman was an accident created by the chaos of something changing on Satellite Five. Steve doesn't know what that is, exactly, but he can feel it in the air, in the way the humans around him have started rushing, in how the food stands have suddenly ground to a halt. And he comes to a halt with them, his hearts speeding up in his chest as the frenzy reminds him of another time, another planet, another chaotic scene that ended with him being launched across time and space while his home died.

When he finally gathers his wits enough to move, he turns right into a woman's leg, bumping his nose hard against her and falling to the ground with a startled cry. He holds his nose, the bridge smarting and causing his eyes to water as he looks up at a pretty young blonde woman who immediately crouches in front of him.

"Sorry about that. You all right?" she asks, her hands hovering in the air like she wants to check him for injuries but doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.

The funny thing is, Steve has seen this woman before. He saw her earlier in the day, getting into the elevator with a journalist and a man, and he assumed he'd never see her again. Nobody who got in the elevator came back. He's so overwhelmed by the shock of seeing her again that he almost misses the familiar aura around her, the lingering traces of golden space dust and passing time.

Almost.

He stares at her with wide eyes, his tears actually falling now, and then throws himself into her arms. "What took so long?!" he cries, clinging to her shirt like he'll be thrown across time and space one more time if he lets go.

"Woah, hey now, no need for crying," she says, utterly confused but gently smoothing down his hair anyway. "What's wrong?"

After taking a few moments to calm down, Steve starts to answer when he realizes something. The woman only has one heart. He can only hear one set of beats in her chest. He jerks away, his hands trembling as he stares at her. She's still covered in that familiar aura, practically swimming in it, but she's not like him.

It hurts. Steve can feel the bitter cold of disappointment replacing the hope that had started to grow between his hearts. He thought...he thought he'd get to be with someone like him again. Maybe not his original family---they're dead, long gone, and Steve is never getting them back---but a new one that wouldn't let him feel quite so alone anymore.

Maybe she was just injured. That would explain it well enough.

"Where....where's your second heart?" he asks, his voice small as he grips the hem of his shirt to steady himself. "Y-you...why do you--"

Before Steve can get the rest of the question, a man in a leather jacket, looking slightly annoyed as he checks his pockets, appears next to the woman. "Right then. C'mon, Rose, we got dead weight to drop off," he says, his tone hard.

The woman, Rose, looks up at him. "Hold on a minute, Doctor," she says, "we've got to help him find his parents first."

Steve opens his mouth, wanting to say that won't be possible, as he looks up at the man. Their eyes meet, and the words get stuck in his throat. If Rose carried lingering space dust and passing time, this man is made of it. Steve can see the gold around him, swirling and calling, singing in a way he'd forgotten about. Even the name is familiar---not that Steve knows this particular Time Lord, of course, but he knows the conventions and traditions.

"I'm afraid that'll be impossible, Rose," the Doctor says, his voice softer and full of disbelief as he crouches next to her on the ground.

"What? How do you know?"

The Doctor doesn't answer her. He just holds a hand out to Steve, waiting patiently. When Steve takes it, the world finally rights itself. He can feel the blood pumping through the Doctor's veins, fast and powerful in a way only two hearts can manage. He can practically taste time and space coating his tongue as he steps closer. When Steve places his hand on the left side of the man's chest, feeling the beating of one heart before sliding his hand over to feel the other, he cries even harder than before.

And the Doctor cries, too.

It's not a loud crying, but he pulls Steve into his arms and holds him with the same desperation and fear that he'll disappear if he loosens his grip that Steve felt when he hugged Rose. "I thought...I thought I was the only one left," the Doctor says, moving his hand to cradle the back of Steve's head.

"Doctor, what's going on here?" Rose asks.

Steve peeks out at her, and then he's lifted into the air, still held in the Doctor's arms. His jacket smells like the past and future, a soothing scent that gets Steve to relax like he hasn't in a long time. "Long story short," the Doctor says, his voice still rough from crying but recovering, "you somehow bumped into the only Time Lord child in existence." A few moments pass before he speaks again, the smile and awe clear in his voice as he says, "You're just fantastic, Rose. Fantastic."

Despite his best efforts, Steve can't keep his eyes open long enough to see how she reacts or what the Doctor does next. The exhaustion of fending for himself and pushing away the despair of losing everything sweeps over him. This could all be a dream, and the Doctor might be a figment of his imagination that disappears when he wakes up, but Steve lets himself dream for now.

--------

Hawkins, Indiana, 1971

"Okay, Steve, go ahead."

Steve glances up at his father, shifts his gaze to his mother, and then approaches the console. He reaches up and starts turning a dial, ignoring his mother's excited noise and his father's interested hum. Once he's turned it enough, he walks around the console and pulls a lever, flips a switch, and yanks another dial two notches to the right. Then, when he's sure his parents can't hear him, he leans in close and whispers, "Take me wherever you'd like me to be, TARDIS."

He feels something warm and happy surge under his fingers where he's holding the console. Not a second later, the familiar whooshing sound of the TARDIS fills the room, and Steve hang on for dear life as his father shouts, "Fantastic! Where do you think we'll land, Rose?"

"Somewhere child-friendly, hopefully," his mother replies, grabbing his father's arm and holding on for dear life.

Steve grins, his hearts beating fast and hard behind his ribs as the TARDIS slowly comes to a stop, its engine quieting to a gentle whirring as it parks. "Go on then," his father says, appearing behind Steve and nudging him to the doors. "See where you've brought us."

With his breath stuck in his throat, Steve slowly pulls the left door open. Sunlight streams into the TARDIS along with the delighted shrieks of other children and a warm wind that can only mean summer. Steve blinks, staring at the playground a few feet away.

"Oh," his father says, his tone duller than before, "seems boring."

This statement is followed by both the TARDIS making an offended noise and Steve's mother smacking his father in the chest. "Don't be rude! Boring is safe, which is good for Steve's first drive."

"Can...can I go play?" Steve asks, his voice soft as he feels a sudden longing sweeping through him. He hasn't played with people his age after leaving Gallifrey. In fact, he hasn't been around them. On Satellite Five, Steve didn't see other children. They were cared for on a different floor, and he never risked getting into the elevator.

Since leaving Satellite Five (since finding another Time Lord and basking in the TARDIS and crying together when Steve accidentally called the Doctor "Dad" and Rose "Mom"), Steve has been surrounded by Daleks and nanogenes and older humans and every alien under the sun, but he's never been around children.

The thought is exhilarating and terrifying and alluring all at once.

"Of course, Steve," his mother says, placing her hand on his head and brushing a few stray hairs from his face. "You go play, and we'll call you back in a few hours for some ice cream, yeah?"

Steve grins and nods eagerly, throwing a quick goodbye to his parents before running out of the TARDIS. He dashes across the street, coming to the edge of the playground before stopping. The grass turns into tiny rocks and pebbles beneath slides and swings and monkey bars and a merry-go-round. And kids. More kids than Steve really knows what to do with, which gives him an unfamiliar feeling of anxiety that makes him wipe his palms on his shirt.

"Hey, why are you just standing there?"

The question is asked by another boy Steve's age. His hair is a little frizzy and curls around his ears, and he's got band-aids covering his arms and stretching across the bridge of his nose. He's standing to Steve's left, holding a red rubber ball and ignoring the other kids around them.

"I've...never been here before," Steve says, meaning that he's never been in this situation.

The boy doesn't understand that, though. But when he says, "Oh, so you're new around here," Steve doesn't disagree. "Well, nice to meetcha. I'm Eddie."

He shifts to hold the ball against his chest with one arm and holds out his other hand. Taking it and shaking once, Steve introduces himself and asks, "Can we be friends?"

Eddie's eyes brighten, and he nods. "Yeah! Let's be bestest friends. Can I call you Stevie? Mom says you can give nicknames to friends."

"Sure! So, uh, what do we do now?"

Eddie pauses, looking at the playground with a slight frown. "We could play games," he says slowly.

"Oh! How about Weeping Angel?"

"What's that?"

Steve thinks for a moment. "Weeping Angels are these statues that move when you don't look at them. In the game, someone will face away, and the other person will start sneaking up on them. If the first person turns, the second has to freeze in place. If the first person sees them move, they lose. If the second person reaches the first and touches them, they win."

"It sounds like Rad Light, Green Light," Eddie says, tilting his head slightly. "But, sure! Let's play it."

Steve smiles brightly and follows Eddie to a clear patch of playground. "I'll be the Angel in this round," he offers, waiting for Eddie to agree before walking a few feet away. "Let me know when you're ready!"

Eddie turns around, still holding the rubber ball, and glances over his shoulder. He stares at Steve for a few seconds before looking away and saying, "Ready!"

As lightly as he can, Steve takes a few steps forward, doing his best to make no sounds like the Weeping Angels he's seen before. When he notices Eddie moving, he freezes, quickly placing his hands over his eyes but leaving enough room to peek between his fingers.

When Eddie turns, he's frozen in a classic Weeping Angel pose. Eddie studies him for a few seconds, eyes narrowed before slowly turning around again. Steve exhales softly, and the game continues.

Steve wins exactly three times, Eddie wins twice, and there's one round in which they both dissolve into laughter because of the position Steve freezes in, so they don't count it. When Eddie gets bored of playing, he introduces Steve to foursquare, which is why he has the rubber ball. When he gets bored of that he drags Steve around the playground, introducing him to each piece of equipment with pride.

By the time the sun has started to dip low on the horizon, Steve is sweaty and dirty and happier than he's ever felt as he hides under the slide with Eddie. They're pressed close together, sharing a popsicle Eddie's mother had given them, purple juice making their hands sticky.

"You're really cool, Stevie," Eddie suddenly says, his lips and tongue purple as he offers the last bit of popsicle to Steve.

After taking it and letting the cold ice melt on his tongue, Steve asks, "Hey, do bestest friends keep secrets that only they know?"

"Of course! Nothing is stronger than a bestest friend secret."

"But you gotta promise not to tell anyone. Not even your mom."

Eddie seems to realize this is serious now, and he straightens up a bit. "I won't," he promises, "cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

That seems a bit extreme to Steve, but what does he know of human customs? He leans in close, his mouth almost pressing against Eddie's ear, and whispers, "I'm an alien."

He pulls away in time to see Eddie's disbelieving look. "What? You look human. No way you're an alien."

"I am!" Steve says. "How many hearts have you got?"

"One. Duh."

"I've got two."

Eddie snorts. "Yeah. Right. Nobody has two hearts."

"Here, you can feel them," Steve says before grabbing Eddie's hand and placing it over the left side of his chest. He waits a few seconds, making sure Eddie can feel that heart, before sliding his hand to the right side. He watches Eddie's face turn bright red, and Steve figures it's from excitement or shock at realizing Steve is, in fact, an alien.

Before Eddie can say anything, Steve hears his mother calling, "Steve! It's time to go!"

He pouts, letting go of Eddie's hand. "Aw, man," he mumbles, crawling out from beneath the slide. Eddie scrambles after him, his cheeks still flushed and his eyes wide. "I gotta go now, but I'll see you again soon, Eddie."

"Yeah, soon," Eddie mumbles, seeming dazed until he shakes his head. "Your, um, secret is safe with me, Stevie."

Steve blinks and flashes a blinding smile. "Of course it is," he says, "You're my bestest friend."

With that, he hugs Eddie and then runs to his mother, brimming with excitement at getting to tell her all about the park and Eddie.

------

If you'd like to be tagged for this series, let me know!

And, finally, a meme for your viewing pleasure:

[brooooswriting]

can you do 6 for tara x fem reader :)

6. “I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you”

Tara jolted up again in the middle of night, the threat she and her sister got two days ago making her nightmares reappear. You were already awake, unable to sleep at the thought of something or other someone hurting your girlfriend. “Hey, it’s alright. It’s okay, you’re safe. Nobody is here” you mumbled as you engulfed her in a hug, you had left the bedroom door open so you could see the front door and you had checked each window and each room before going to bed. Plus Mindy, Chad and Anika slept in the living room.

“Why are you even awake?” The brunette asked once she calmed down and noticed the open book on your lap and the small lamp glowing. She was still leaning against you, not making any move to leave your warm and comforting embrace.

“Oh you know, can’t sleep every once in a while” you lied with a rather believing smile but thinking you could fool her was stupid. You had always lied easily and people fell for it, until Tara came along. First of all, you found it incredibly hard to lie to her and second of all, she always saw through you. Her raised eyebrow made you press your lips into a thin line before speaking up again.

“Okay, I wanted to be able to look out for you. You know, make sure nobody enters and stuff” you admitted in a small voice while Tara sighed.

“I’ve been thinking…” she started, suddenly scooting away from you. This was the first bad sign, normally the smaller girl wouldn’t turn down cuddles for anything. “We should break up. This is dangerous and I don’t want you involved” she blurted out, pulling her knees up to her chest. Your heart broke at her words and at the way she looked so miserable. For a second you were scared that she really didn’t want you around anymore and that this was just the best opportunity she had at pushing you away, but the tears forming in her eyes quickly changed your mind.

“No” was the only thing you said, as you laid back down on the bed pulling the blanket up to your chest.

“No?” She questioned, confusion showing in every feature. If the situation wasn’t so bad you would have laughed.

“No. I’m not going to let you go through this alone again. This time I’m here and you can’t stop me” you told her, keeping your voice very nonchalant. Your arms opened for her to crawl into since you hoped that she would just drop the whole topic and go back to sleep. If someone really wanted to hurt them than they needed all of their energy.

“Why?”

“What why?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you and before I met you I was an asshole, I lied and I did a lot of stupid shit but then you came and suddenly my image of a perfect Saturday night changed from parties and hookups to watching horror movies with you and cuddling while ordering take out. I finally found the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. And truth be told I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you” even though cheese shit like that wasn’t really your thing this had to be said. There was no way you were loosing this girl if there was any, literally any way to stop this.

Tara quickly wiped away the tears that left her eyes and threw herself into your arms that were more than happy to engulf her. “If you die, I’m going to kill you and them” she said against your chest making you giggle as your hand weaved through her hair.

“That’s my girl” you said proudly and pressed a kiss to her hair. After some reassurance she finally fell asleep, soft breaths hitting your neck. You still didn’t really sleep that night, you were going to protect your girl and her family with every bit that you had. Even if it might mean that you weren’t going to survive.

A girl like Tara was worth it!

[cutielando]

not so happy reunion ~ rafe cameron

my masterlist

From the moment you and Rafe got engaged, you had left the Outer Banks.

Not because you were keen on doing so, but because Rafe wanted to escape from the hold his family, specifically his father, had on him.

You moved into a beautiful mansion on the mainland, both of you had stable and high-paying jobs, so you were living comfortably.

You had also gotten married after a year and a half of moving, only with a few close friends, Wheezie, Sarah and your family. Per Rafe's request, Sarah and Wheezie hadn't told their parents why they were visiting the mainland, using the excuse of a much needed girls' trip.

Even though you had advised Rafe to at least let his family know about the wedding, he vehemently insisted that you didn't tell them anything, claiming he didn't want them to ruin his perfect day with you like they did everything else.

However, Ward didn't want to accept the fact that Rafe didn't want to have anything to do with him or his family anymore, hence always sending you an invitation to the annual Midsummers party.

Every single time, Rafe would come up with an excuse as to why you couldn't make it. You were either busy with your jobs, you were feeling under the weather, you missed your flight, the excuse range was very wide.

However, now that you were also pregnant with your first child, you figured it would be time to pay the old OBX a visit, for old times' sake.

Rafe, even though he agreed on your behalf, was very much not excited to be back.

"Have we got everything?" you were finishing up packing your bags, making sure you had put everything you would need for your 2 day stay.

"Do we really have to go?" Rafe asked from where he was sitting on your shared bed, pouting like a small child.

You sighed and chuckled, amused because he was still trying to convince you not to go when you were literally minutes away from leaving for the island.

"Baby, we haven't been back there in almost 3 years. Don't you think it's time we do go and show people we're still alive and happily together?" you moved your hands so they were resting on his shoulder, his eyes at a level with your growing bump.

He sighed and leaned forward to kiss your bump and cradle it in his hands.

"I don't want her to be in that environment" he mumbled, speaking about your unborn daughter.

The moment you had found out you were having a girl, Rafe couldn't stop dotting on you. He was so excited to have another little princess running around, a mini-you. He was doing everything to make sure he got the hang of it all, from reading books to taking some daddy-and-me classes, watching videos and grilling his co-workers about advice.

He was the most prepared father-to-be ever.

"Baby, everything is going to be fine. She's safe in there, nobody is going to do anything to her, or me, or you. We're just gonna see some old friends, have a little fun and try not to get into arguments with your father. We're leaving as soon as we can, okay?" you were running your hands through his hair, twirling his dirty blonde locks around your fingers.

He nodded and kissed your bump one last time before getting up, taking your bags and hauling them to your car.

The ride to the OBX was quiet, Rafe's hand consistently resting on your bump as he drove and yours resting on top of his.

As you observed Rafe for the whole ride, you noticed how much he started tensing up the closer  you got to the island, full on freaking out by the time he had parked his car.

"Okay, let's get this over with" he muttered as he got out of the car and jogged to your side, opening your door and taking your hand in his, interlocking your fingers.

You slowly made your way to the reception, more and more of your old friends recognizing you and stopping to chit chat.

At first, Rafe's hand was tightly holding yours tensely, but his grip slowly became more tender and less tense as he finally managed to calm down and enjoy seeing his friends.

"Rafe?" Ward's voice boomed through the party, making everyone around you stop to observe the interaction.

Rafe cursed under his breath but turned around, coming face to face with his father.

"Dad" Rafe nodded and said, his grip on your hand tightening slightly.

You started caressing the side of his hand with your thumb, trying to keep him grounded and calm.

"Oh, it's so good to see you, my boy" the man pulled his son into a tight hug, squeezing him like never before.

Rafe coughed and just patted his father on the back, one of his hands still linked with yours. You could only imagine how uncomfortable the situation was for your husband.

"And I see you brought your girlfriend as well" Ward said once his eyes fell on you.

"Wife, actually" you proudly corrected the man, your other hand now resting on your clearly visible bump.

Ward's eyes followed your hand and once he saw the wedding band on your hand holding your baby bump, his jaw went slack and he was at a loss of words.

Rafe cleared his throat and let go of your hand, instead opting to wrap his arm around your waist and pull your body flush against his.

"I can't believe this. Congratulations. When did this happen?" his voice was now back to his usual icy tone, surely figuring out the fact that he hadn't been invited to his son's wedding.

"Almost 1 year and a half ago. Found out we were expecting a couple of months ago" Rafe's gaze on his father hadn't let up.

Ward nodded, biting the inside of his cheek visibly.

"And you didn't think to invite your family?" he bit back.

"Wheezie and Sarah were there. The only family I needed with me" 

The music had now stopped, everyone concentrating on the brewing tension between the two Cameron men.

"What are we and Rose then? We raised you!" 

"With all due respect, you didn't do shit. You left him to fend for himself his entire life and didn't give a shit about his well-being because you were too obsessed with Sarah. You don't get to do that anymore. We didn't want you there because you didn't deserve to be there, just like you are never going to be a part of our child's life" you burst, not wanting to let Rafe deal with this by himself.

Ward's eyes widened as they shifted from his son to you. He had remembered you as the calculated one from the couple, always trying to keep the waters calm and Rafe under control. He didn't expect you to talk back to him like that.

"We're clearly not welcome here, so we're going to leave" Rafe said.

On your way out, you bid goodbyes to some of your friends and gave Ward one last look before getting into your car and driving away.

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be a good idea" you said once you had made it home, now safe and sound in the sheets of your bed with your husband.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault. At least we managed to catch up with people before disaster struck" he teased, kissing your shoulder and hugging you from behind, his hands cradling your bump.

You laughed and settled in bed, drifting off to a peaceful sleep with the two most important people in your life: Rafe and your daughter.

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[multi-fandom-imagine]

Hi! So at the end of Loki how he becomes part of the multiverse tree and everything resets. but what if the reader still remembers Loki so she goes to look for him and try to give him a happy ending.

It's so sad because Loki should have a happy ending and seeing what happens in the finale of the show I would like to see him not end up alone.🥺

A/n: I WILL GIVE LOKI HIS HAPPY ENDING, p.S…Wanda is also alive cause I said so. So yea obviously I changed a lotttt of things.

Side note: was gonna make Sylvie switch places for Loki’s but I didn’t want to be called stupid 😂. But if you want it as an alt end then I’ll write it.

You didn’t understand, you couldn’t understand why people couldn’t remember him. Why? Mobius,Sylvie, not one of them remembered Loki.

You refused to believe this, he couldn’t be gone, you had to do something, you had to fix this. Ignoring Mobius calling out your name, you were determined to find him, you will save Loki and you had to go to the one person that would help, the one person that could help.

Wanda

Your heart hammered as you came upon the home, the same little house you had found for the woman, one reality where she can finally be happy. You just hoped she would remember her love. You hoped that what ever Loki had done hadn’t reset this life.

Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the door. Your hand knocking on the door though relief flooded your body when the woman said your name, her head tilted to the side.

“You remember me?! Oh thank god…Wanda I need your help?”

Wrinkling her nose Wanda stepped side letting you come into her home. “Why wouldn’t I remember….what’s wrong?”

Patting your lips you ran you nervously bit your lip as you started explain everything to your friend. “And now he’s stuck in the Loom and nobody remembers him but us and he’s alone and I can’t.” Shaking your head you grasped the edge of your shirt. “Please Wanda! You’re the only one that can help me.”

Wanda hated seeing you like this, you were one of the kindest people she knew. You were the only one that helped her, the believed in her. Glancing over her shoulder, she nodded her head as she grasped your hand gently. “Of course, let’s just find a place that’s not my front yard.”

Giving one last look at her family she tugged you to her car. While she knew what this would mean, she was grateful for your friendship.

•

Stepping through the portal, you glanced over your shoulder spotting the woman struggling to keep it open. “It’s okay Wanda you can let go.”

Tears sliding down her cheeks, Brooke gave you a weak smile. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, and thank you.” Turning away from the closing portal you took a deep breath taking a glance at your surroundings. Did he really subject himself to this? It felt so lonely here, so isolated.

You didn’t care if people will forget you, it didn’t matter because you would have Loki, he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

A smile formed on your lips as you spotted the man sitting on a thorn. The once heart broken look on his face was replaced with a look of disbelief, your name spilling from his lips.

“It’s can’t, this must be a cruel joke.” This bad to be some illusion, something is mind made up to push back the loneliness he felt.

Giving him a teasing smile you stepped forward kneeling down in front of him. Your hands grasping his gently. “I’m not very good at jokes but I can assure you that I am very real.”

Clutching your hand tightly he was afraid that if he let go than you’d just vanish. “You must go back you can’t-.”

Placing your hand on his cheek, you let your thumb glide across his skin. “Well, it’s a bit to late for that now.” You then pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips then smiled resting your head against his feeling Loki draw you in close. “So now you’re going to have to put up with me.”

“Thank you.” Loki whispered holding you tight, hr might be stuck protecting all the time lines but at least he wasn’t alone anymore.

At least he had you.