#but not close enough for me to ask for cuddles without anxiety

[suguru-getos]

just some over-affectionate yan!sato blabbering

yandere satoru hasn't really snapped at you, he just doesn't. always playful, always an embodiment. waking you up with peppers of kisses, making sure you have your favorite breakfast, making sure you relax around him. he even indulges in your silly little hobbies, all for the sake of making his baby comfortable. if you like painting, he is going to buy you all the colors there are, premium quality canvas boards and everything you'd ever need to bring your imaginations into reality. digital art? then you have an ipad with procreate and a pencil, anything and everything you need.

he doesn't say it but he is extremely observant, he even notices things like your skincare before you were kidnapped, and goes out of his way to upgrade it if needed. he can be a little pesky at times. what if his baby is using the wrong skin-care? probably going to fly you to the skin and beauty land 'korea' to have your skin checked, and then buy you the 'recommended' skincare.

same with aesthetics, you like wearing a certain type of fits, you have them littered in your closet room. he prefers changing styles and wouldn't mind upgrading/donating your wardrobe when you're also bored with the same ol' things.

your room is a mixture of everything you are, and trinkets of satoru in it. you are really not allowed to sleep in your room though. it's your space, just your happy corner. it doesn't have a bed. it has plush couches that are better than most beds, neon-light which speaks of your name and scented candles, perfect desks with the perfect desk mats. you just need to sleep with satoru.

he gets specifically testy when you really don't want to give him company at times. why? hasn't he done enough? most people would kill to be in your place. that's when you can see the cracks in his carefully calibrated persona he harbors for you.

he is usually very mellow, clingy and would be so playful you often forget how strong he is. "baby- but i want cuddles!" satoru whined, pulling you close to him while you squirmed when you weren't in the mood. satoru hasn't really pushed himself sexually, but he treats you like a pet in other stances. meaning - if not huggable why so cute? so you can't really escape from him during those times.

if you really, really try hard. his laughter, soft eyes, all of it drops. the usual high-pitched excitement too... "i will count to three. if you don't really come to me, there would be consequences." you haven't really checked on what the consequences are because that sets you straight instantly.

satoru HATES when you fear him, some part of him snaps so hard at that he ends up scaring you more. this happens when he's pissed about something and you flinch/wince at his tone. he hasn't done anything to make you scared... yet? though sometimes the way he comes home... reeking of dead curses, reeking of torment and torture. you automatically end up fearing him.

there was one time you took things too far, taking his leniency too far and going out without asking him. he hasn't locked the doors like a barbarian and you're making him question if he should... that's when he took you to one of his missions. shaking, quivering as you cling to him while the curse in front of you begged for death, for being exorcised while satoru made sure it healed and then continued his torture. blaming it on you as you sobbed, anxiety and palpitations all over you. "see, this is what i do... when you don't behave. you cause pain from me to others." he just wants you to know he is/can be fucked up.

would eventually feel extremely bad when you throw up from the gore and anxiety and finish the job, bringing you home and forcing you in his arms, crying with you at how bad it makes him feel to see you like this. how he would kill himself than making you cry, though a part of him is grateful that you wouldn't really go against him for a long, long while.

whenever any action done by him fucks you up, satoru takes responsibility of undoing it. even if sometimes he needs to make sure you stay with him, no matter the consequences... he would try his best to make up for it. always pestering, always kissing you, praising you for being so good to him even if you're not, behaving like an ideal boyfriend to the point where even you start suspecting if the problem is you.

he loves so sickeningly hard you end up deluded enough to consider yourself the 'toxic' one. :3

[dr3c0mix]

Can we get more Goth yandere? Like when he offered us the chance to read those dark fairytales together I imagine us in his bed on a rainy day and a candle is lit and we’re snuggled up next to him reading about the darkest shit ever and he’s stuttering because he’s so nervous. Like we’re both under the blankets with our leg over his

*sniff* man..

Yandere! Goth x GN! Reader Pt. 2

🥀 He was dreaming right? This was a dream? Yeah it's a totally a dream!

🥀 No it's not a dream..

🥀 "Jas? So is it your place or mine?" Your voice snaps him out of his trance.

🥀 "Wh-oh! Uhm, y-you can come over to my place if..thats ok.." He's trying to keep calm, but the fact that you're coming over to his house is almost unreal to him!

🥀 The two of you have been partnered up for a science project and you wanted to work on in together at home.

🥀 Jasper was trying not to pass out from happiness over the prospect of hanging out with you without anyone to bother you two, maybe he can finally make a move!

🥀 You walk home with him, and you arrive at his house. It was a grey house with dark blue tiles on the roof. The yard was filled with bushes and vines that grew everywhere, it was rather charming.

🥀 Your both enter and you're greeting by his mom. She was in the middle of cooking when she greeted you sweetly.

🥀 "Why hello dear! I've never seen Jasper bring home a friend before! I'm so glad he's making friends in school!" She smiles.

🥀 Jasper blushes and pouts "Mom of course I have friends.." he laughs, giving his mom a big hug.

🥀 "Awe I know sweetie, now you two come in! I'm making dinner!" She shoos us away from the kitchen so she could cook, and we run up the stairs to his room.

🥀 His room was full of posters and fairy lights; it was gloomy but in a weirdly comforting way. You could see shelves full of curiosities like a jar full of what seemed like raw ore and..is that the pen you lost?

🥀 Jasper lights a few candles which were scented like flowers, and he sits down on his desk "So where do we start?" he smiles.

🥀 The whole time you were working on the project, Jasper was smiling like an idiot. The thought of you spending time with him in his room sent him over the moon!

🥀 Whenever you leaned near him to look at his laptop, he may or may not have gotten a whiff of your hair..

🥀 A few hours pass, and it's started raining. Jonesy came into the room to sleep in our lap as you two finished up the report.

🥀 "Huh, that's weird. Jonesy hates anyone that isn't me or my mom.." Jasper smiles as he pets the little black cat on your lap.

🥀 You joke that you're his second parent and Jasper turns bright red and starts stuttering like crazy. "R-really? I-I mean you can if you wanna I'm not stopping you! N-not like I'm asking you to be my partner of anything right? I mean it's just a cat! Hahah..yeah.."

🥀 You smile at him and laugh before looking around his room again, complimenting his decor.

🥀 "Th-thanks..Oh! I promised you I'd show you my books! I just got Dante's Inferno! You wanna read it with me?" He asks happily.

🥀 You agree and he gets the book, the two of you lying on his bed as he opens a lamp and starts reading, but he's utterly crap at not stuttering every 10 words.

🥀 He could feel you leaning on his shoulder, your bodies getting closer with each paged turned, it was both exciting and calming to him.

🥀 Jonesy jumps off the bed and out the room as the two of you read.

🥀 The atmosphere was so relaxing, the soft glow of the candles and fairy lights in the room and the rain tapping against the window was like a river flowing all your worries and anxieties away.

🥀 Soon enough the two of you drift off to sleep, cuddling eachother with the book discarded on the floor, Jasper held you close to his chest as your legs were tangled together under his blanket.

🥀 "Kids? Time for- oh.." Jasper's mom quiet's down as she peeks in and sees us sleeping together. She giggles and gently closes the door and picking up Jonesy. "We should let them rest for a bit Jonesy.." She smiles as she goes back down.

[httpiastri]

yours – op81

love is tough, but oscar makes it easy.

genre: fluff, angst/comfort

pairing: oscar piastri x reader

warnings: mentions of anxiety and commitment issues

author's note: hello hello! this is based on this song that i first heard at my sixth grade graduation. hope you enjoy. 💓

f1 masterlist

‎‎‎ ‎‎‎ ‎‎

"do you really have to go?"

oscar's voice echoes from inside your bedroom all the way out to where you're standing in the hallway. you shoot one last glance at yourself in the mirror before stepping into your heels, letting them click against the floor as you walk back to the entrance of the room your boyfriend is in. he's staring up at you with his puppy-like eyes, his back resting against the headboard and his lower body covered by the duvet.

you nod, a small pout appearing on your lips. "i really do. attendance at the seminar is mandatory," you hum, leaning against the door frame.

"does your professor not care that your darling finally has a day off and needs cuddles?" he sighs, a playful frown on his face.

"unfortunately not. however," you start, walking over to him and sitting on the edge of the bed. "i'll be back in just a few hours. and then, i'll cuddle you so much that you'll get through next week without any cuddles at all."

oscar shakes his head. "not possible. there's not enough time in the world for that." you roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him. "i think i'll need some kisses to survive until you get back, though."

you chuckle, leaning forward and letting your lips brush against his. your hand moves down to his neck, your thumb drawing little circles into the skin, before your fingers pull softly on his lowest strands of hair. his own hands land on your hips, lifting you up and into his lap, his sudden actions drawing out a small yelp from you. when you part from the kiss, you use your free hand to squish his cheeks together.

"you scared me," you scold, giving his cheeks one last squeeze before using the hand to adjust your skirt.

but oscar doesn't say anything. when you look up at him again, you find his big eyes staring right into yours, contentment written on his face. you raise an eyebrow at him, but he only smiles back. "you know what?" he asks, and you shake your head. "i love you."

although it's not the first time he's uttered those words to you, his words still bring a slight blush to your cheeks. but no matter how much you'd like to, you don't answer him.

you wish you could say something; that you loved him too, that you're his and only his, or that you've never felt this strongly for anyone before. but you just can't. you're so scared of being vulnerable – not just with him, but in general – and you're so scared to admit that you're falling for him.

because falling for him means that losing him will hurt way worse.

the weight of your unspoken emotions lingers in the air, leaving a bittersweet tension between you. in the silence that follows his words, your eyes never look away from his, and you hope he can decipher the unspoken words in your gaze – just like he usually can. maybe one day, courage will grant you the ability to vocalize what your heart truly feels. but for now, it's like your mouth is taped shut.

"you don't have to say anything, you know," oscar says, interrupting your train of thought.

he understands. he always does.

now it's his time to caress your cheek with one of his hands. a smile spreads across your lips and you lean forward to hug him, burying your face in the crook of his neck. he squeezes you close, hoping you'll feel the warmth and comfort he's trying to send your way.

"i'll hury out of class as soon as it ends," you tell him, giving his lips one last peck before standing up from the bed.

his touch lingers on your skin when you make your way to the door. "i'll be counting the minutes until you're back," he whispers, his voice filled with a mix of longing and affection. with one last glance over your shoulder, you meet oscar's gaze, finding solace in the warmth of his brown eyes. and when you step out into the hallway, you leave the comfort of his embrace behind but continue carrying his love with you.

you already can't wait to be back in his arms.

‎‎‎‎ ‎‎‎

working the late shift sucks.

you hate getting home late, you hate having no time to study and being too tired to even cook a light meal. and tonight, work has been particularly hard.

your boss had been in a bad mood, which resulted in everyone else suffering, too. and besides making your workplace feel like a living hell, she also gave you some extra paperwork to finish at home.

so, to say that you are exhausted when you finally enter the front door of your apartment tonight is an understatement.

you kick off your shoes and throw your coat into the wardrobe with a heavy sigh. as you're stomping off to your bedroom, you gather your last drops of energy to make it all the way bed, and you're just about to turn the lights on in your bedroom when something catches your eye.

oscar is lying in your bed, his head resting atop your pillow as soft snores pass through his lips. as your eyes begin to wander through the room, you notice that the bedside lamp is turned on, a sticky note pressed to it. you make your way towards it, steps much softer than before, hoping to let the sleeping beauty stay asleep. when you reach the bed, you pick up the piece of paper, holding it up to your face.

‎‎ ‎‎

hey baby,

i know you're working late and i wasn't sure if you ate before or not, so i made dinner for you. it's in the fridge. i hope you had a good day, and if not, wake me up if you want to talk about it. or wake me up if you want to just exist and not talk. anything is fine by me.

love,

oscar.

‎‎ ‎‎

by his name sits a small, uneven heart, making the corners of your mouth pull upwards. you put down the note again and turn off the lamp before lifting the duvet, lying down and scooting close to him. with a soft sigh, you rest your head on his chest and drape an arm across his body.

you know oscar means a lot to you, and you know you want nothing but to be with him. but, just the thought of discovering exactly how much he means to you frightens you.

every little action and every single word of his makes you fall deeper for him. every day, your feelings grow stronger. now, it's just about finding strength in yourself to talk to him about it.

"i..." you start, voice as silent as you can possibly make it. "i think... i think i'm ready for love."

oscar's eyes remain closed, his breathing still slow and heavy, but one of his arms instinctively wraps across your lower back and squeezes you close. it's like a silent, unconscious message that he understands, and your heart almost bursts out of your chest.

‎‎ ‎‎

the room is almost completely dark, the only source of light being the thin streak from the full moon on the night sky passing through the curtains. the moon and the stars are all reflected in the tears falling down your cheeks, the ones that had left your eyes before you had even noticed that you were crying.

your body is heavy, like weights are pulling you down into the mattress, but you need to sit up. you need to do something, anything.

you press your hands into the bed, lifting yourself up to a sitting position. you pull your legs up to your body, hugging them tightly as you exhale a light sob. closing your eyes and pushing the palms of your hands to your eyelids, you try your best to clear your mind from the scenes of your nightmare. but they are replaying themselves over and over, and you stand no chance. they're clouding your thoughts, they're taking over, they're too much, you're drowning in them-

suddenly, there's a rustle next to you in bed, and you jump. opening your eyes, you turn to the side – only to instantly realize that there's no reason to be scared when you see oscar's eyes blinking up at you.

"love?" he whispers, one of his hands helping him sit up while the other tries to rub some sleep out of his eyes. "are you crying? what's wrong?"

you can't speak. as you look up at him, the dream you'd just dreamt starts feeling so very real again, and there's a sharp pain in your chest. breathing is getting harder, and for every breath you try to take, the pressure in your chest increases. the tears won't stop spilling from your cheeks down onto the bed.

"hey, you need to breathe." he wipes away a couple of tears with his thumb, making sure to make his own breathing louder for you to follow him. it takes a few moments, but under his soft touch you always feel like you can relax and eventually, you can breathe almost normally again. "please talk to me, sweetheart. what's wrong?"

you look up at him, into his worried eyes, but regret it instantly and look away again. "i..." your eyes roam across the room, never focusing or staying on anything. "i had a bad dream."

oscar remains quiet, not sure what to say. he nods slowly.

"i... thought i'd lost you..." you say under your breath, so low that he doesn't hear you.

"what was that?"

you sigh. "i dreamed that i lost you. that you weren't here for me anymore, that-" you halt, unsure whether or not to keep going. you pull a hand through your hair, finally looking back at him. "that you didn't love me anymore."

he nods once again. "and that made you feel like this?"

you sniffle and dry some of your tears from your eyes with the blanket. "yeah." you shrug. "i don't know, i just... want to be your everything." closing your eyes again, you cover your face in your hands. "god, i'm falling apart."

the worst part about the dream was the realism of it. you've got a feeling that it's a reflection of the near future, and you loathe the thought of accidentally forcing oscar to stay with you. you don't want him to feel like he can't leave you, as you're sure it's hard for him to stay with someone who doesn't give as much love as he does. you just don't want to be a burden, but your mind keeps telling you that you are just that – and that this will be the end of you two.

but without warning, oscar takes a hold of your waist, pulling you into his lap and embracing you tightly. "feeling like this doesn't mean you're falling apart," he says. "and i promise you," he pulls away just enough for him to be able to look at your face properly. "you are my everything. and more."

you answer with a smile, burying your face in his neck. "i'm yours."

"what was that?" he teases.

you lean up to give his lips a chaste kiss before resting your forehead against his. "i'm yours."

and suddenly, the room doesn't seem as dark anymore.

‎‎ ‎‎

"honey, i'm home!" you holler before closing the front door behind you, stepping out of your shoes and hanging up your coat in the wardrobe. you don't need to hear your boyfriend's answer to know that he's still in your bedroom. or, more specifically, cuddled up in your sheets.

waddling into the room, you find him lying on his stomach, his laptop propped up in front of him. "i think i found a good movie," he cheers, eyes moving up to where you're standing by the doorway.

"they didn't have your favorite chocolate croissant, so," you begin, holding up the paper bag from the bakery. "i got three other kinds, just to make sure you like at least one."

"you didn't have to do that."

you smile and sit down next to him on the bed, laying down the bag by the computer before taking oscar's face into your hands. "you're the best, you deserve it." you lean down to give him a quick kiss before looking at the computer. "what movie is it?"

"it's called..." he quickly glances at the laptop's screen. "grease?"

your mouth flies open. "you haven't seen grease?!" he shakes his head quickly, and your surprised look turns into a grin. "you dork..." you ruffle his hair with both of your hands. "it's really good, let's watch it!"

he doesn't say anything back; he merely looks at you, a huge smile on his lips as his eyes wander across your face. you chuckle.

"what is it?"

"nothing," he says, reaching up with one hand to brush a few strands of your hair out of your face. "i just love you so much."

you smile back at him, leaning down to kiss him yet again. "but not as much as i love you."

there it was. those three words, the ones you'd been so afraid of, the meaning behind them that had worried you so much – and here you are, saying them like it's the easiest thing in the world.

oscar tries to play it cool, but on the inside, he's barely even believing his ears. "are you sure?" he asks, and you nod immediately.

"i love you." one more kiss. "i love you." one more. "i love you."

"get down here so i can cuddle you already," he says, his hand impatiently patting the space next to him on the bed. how could you ever say no to that?

[v3nusstardust]

“Naturally beautiful.”💌

Pairing : Niki Nishimura x you🎀

Genre : fluff:3 lowk sad thoooo.. 🫦

Warnings : mentions of overthinking and anxiety

11:38 pm

You got home absolutely exhausted from work. You honestly felt like you couldn’t even walk. The lingering stress from managing a short-staffed shift gnawed at you. You had a small anxiety attack in your car earlier which added onto the stress and made you extremely exhausted. You were so busy you didn’t get to tell Niki, your boyfriend, about anything. You knew he sent you lots of heart warming messages and voicemails, but you couldn’t even look at your phone. Your eyes felt drowsy and your body desperately needed sleep.

Walking to yours and Niki’s room, you could hear the distant hum of your tv. You assumed he was probably awake. You opened the door, but to your surprise your boyfriend was asleep and cocooned in the embrace of one of your hoodies. He was cuddling your hoodie.. the sight made you feel so warm inside. You didn’t even bother taking off your makeup or even changing out of your work uniform. You knew you probably smelled a bit musty, but you were so tired you probably couldn’t even stay awake in the shower.

You climbed on the bed and nestled up next to Niki. His tousled hair, plump lips, and sweeping lashes made him look ethereal. He was probably awake about 30 minutes ago because his hair was a bit damp and wet. The smell of his minty shampoo comforted you. You grabbed his hand and caressed his palms, and soon enough you were asleep.

2:25 am

Something cold. Extremely cold, but soothing caressed your face. Your eye lashes fluttered open slowly. A soft hum escaped your lips as you woke up. Fully opening your eyes, you saw Niki kneeling beside you with a soft look in his eyes.

“Shh…Shh” Niki’s gentle voice whispered. “Ni…ki?” You murmured. “Yes love, I’m here.” He caressed your lips with his thumb before placing a peck to your soft lips. Blinking away the remnants of slumber, you inquired, your voice husky, "What are you doing?" . “I’m taking off your makeup darling. You forgot to and I know how you’re always talking about how you need to take it off before you go to bed .” He explained as he pulled out a makeup wipe from the blue packaging.

Grateful for his warmth, you managed a small smile, feeling the lingering fatigue. Not wanting to disrupt the serene moment, you whispered a heartfelt, "Thank you," as Niki continued to softly wipe off your makeup. “Your lashes are still on my love. That’s a really good lash glue.” He laughed softly. You laid there with your eyes closed, enveloped in exhaustion.

“I’m assuming.. work went rough yesterday?” He asked as he removed your necklace and earrings. “It was…. Terrible” you groaned in response. “I know how overwhelmed you get y/n. You worried me because you weren’t responding to my texts.” He sighed with a hint of hurt in his voice. He put down the makeup wiped on your night stand and walked over to your jewelry box to put away your necklace and earrings.

Amidst the moment, You felt a pang of guilt. You were the worst girlfriend ever. Hearing the pain in his voice killed you. Here he was, pampering you and showing you love and affection and you wouldn’t even text him back during your shift. Your thoughts began to overflow and it was overwhelming you. You’ve always had a bad problem with your anxiety. Though Niki and you had been together for about 4 months, he already knew you so well. Your body language told him everything. Your jaw clenched, your shoulders tightened and you started hastily inhaling and exhaling. Niki quickly looked back at you and concern filled his face. “Are you okay?” He asked, walking back over to you. Your lips began to curve into a pout and tears started to fall down your cheeks. You covered your face, you hated how ugly you looked when you cried. Niki knew why you were crying without even asking. He didn’t need an explanation because he knew you so well.

Without any words, Niki climbed onto the bed and cuddled up next to you. Your face nestled into the warmth of his chest, tears leaving stains on his shirt, yet he didn't seem to mind. "Y/n, you're the best I could ever ask for, my love. I'm so sorry that work was stressful for you, but I'm always going to be here for you. I understand you didn't respond because you were busy. I'm not mad at all," he whispered tenderly into your ear, his fingers gently caressing your hair. Attempting to lift your chin to meet his gaze, "Look at me, darling."

“No. I hate how I look when I cry.” Your words muffled into his shirt. “ don’t say that, You’re naturally beautiful .Look at me pretty girl.” He insisted softly. His hand cupped your chin and you were face to face with him. You looked at him with glistening lashes and tear stained flushed cheeks. The sincerity in his eyes reassured you. "I'm here to hold you through the storms, y/n. You don't have to face it all alone," Niki reassured, his words a soothed your every nerve. “I love you.” He whispered as he kissed your forehead. “So much..” he added, pecking your cheek. You felt so vulnerable in his arms. “I love you too.” You softly pecked him on the lips.

“Fall asleep here with me. I want to hold you so you feel safe even in your sleep.” Niki said in a warm loving tone. You listened to his heartbeat and eventually comfortably fell back to sleep in his arms.

( A/n : holy shit dude I gotta go to sleep…I have a soccer game in the morning and my ass if over here writing fucking fan fics 🗿 anyway enjoy 😼)

[sushis-wild-imagination]

Battling my head (Dokyeom x reader)

As a migraine girlie, I just want someone to take care of me when I’m going through it, that’s exactly what this is.

Genre: : fluff fluff only fluff

I WANT A dokyeom in my life. Im open to fic requests!

Seventeen fics Masterlist

"Can you spot her?" Dokyeom asks you over the loud music.

You shake your head feeling a little uneasy already. It was a little too loud and you hadn't gotten enough sleep last night.

You were at a party with Dokyeom, it was one of your best friend's birthdays and she decided the club would be the best place to celebrate so her single self could get some guys to take home. You chuckled at her idea when she pitched it to you, but of course went along.

She also mentioned you could bring your boyfriend of 2 years, Dokyeom, to the party because her brother is good friends with Dokyeom and he's going to be there too.

You knew your migraine was going to act up, like you could feel it coming, the lack of sleep and the loud music with the strong stench of alcohol everywhere. It makes you want to escape somewhere safe.

Dokyeom saw your face looking uncomfortable. He put his hands on your ears covering it. He just raised his eyebrows as if asking if you're okay. You gave him a tired smile and nod softly. It was too loud to talk.

You were already fatigued. This migraine already drained the energy out of you. You felt guilty to leave even, because it was your best friend's birthday, you have to be here. There is no excuse, you tell yourself and go around looking for her to hand her her gift. Dokyeom following a few steps behind you holding your free hand.

You finally found her, wearing the dress you had picked out a few days ago, a shimmering blue with her hair and nails done with a birthday girl sash over her body. You find the rest of your girl group with their boyfriends too. Dokyeom spots Wonwoo, the brother and they end up chitchatting about something while you talk to your best friend about the boys she met tonight and also had her her gift.

Talking to her was distracting and it momentary helped you forget about the killer headache you were having. She loved the new studded wrist watch you bought her, since her's had recently stopped working. You thought it was the perfect gift. She puts it on right away.

"Let's go dance" she says excited and pulls you to the middle of the club where you could feel the bass of the music in your chest and head. It did not help the situation at all, but you hated the idea of ditching your friend on her birthday, so you just put up with it.

After a while, you're left alone because she's has gone with some random guy dancing so you find your way back to Dokyeom sitting in one of the booths. You couldn't even stand straight without feeling like you were losing balance. It was getting out of hand. You plop yourself next to your boyfriend and put your head on his shoulder closing your eyes, it only made you more dizzy. The whole room was spinning. You could feel Dokyeom’s hand caressing your cheek while he continues talking to Wonwoo.

Wonwoo soon excuses himself to go find his sister while Dokyeom turns to you.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asks you pecking the side of your head.

You nod cuddling closer. He hands you a bottle of water to drink from incase you were just dehydrated and that intensifies the headache.

"I think we should get back, take a shower and lay down in a quiet dark room, get some sleep" he says to you and you nod at that. There was only so much holding out you could do.

Dokyeom found your best friend and told her you were leaving, she was dejected but she understood how bad your migraines could get.

The ride back was horrible with the motion sickness and the car.

When you got home, he helped you get out of your heels and you went in to take a shower.

"It's okay, I'm standing right outside," he reassures and soothes you anxious self.

Sometimes the anxiety around lightheadedness makes you shiver and shake, like you're going to faint and no one is going to be around to help you. These thoughts really skyrocketed your anxiety. You've had multiple instances of dizzy spells and passing out because of migranes, something you've been battling all your life.

Anything could trigger a migraine attack. It was the worst thing.

You just wanted to wash up quickly before you possibly pass out. Dokyeom knew this fear and kept singing in the room to just indicate he’s here without outright telling you. His voice really soothes you.

You wash up as quickly as possible and bolt out. The headache felt a little better now that you were calmer.

Dokyeom had your pjs ready for you and he went in to take a quick shower.

You change and jump into bed as soon as possible.

A few moments later dokyeom joins you smelling like flowers.

You immediately turn to cuddle his torso while he lays next to you with his head propped up on his elbow.

“I’m sorry we had to leave early because of me” you almost felt guilty because he couldn’t enjoy the party.

“No party will come close to this” his hands brush your hair softly. “Don’t be sorry, its not your fault, I like taking care of you”

“It was too loud”

“It really was, or maybe I’m just getting old” he laughs.

You could feel his laugh through his belly.

The lights were low, with only some moonlight coming into the room through the window. His fingers were fidgeting with yours in the dark. The fidgeting turns into a thumb wrestling match and suddenly he’s whispering thumb wrestling commentary.

“Player (y/n) almost had it, but there he is, Legendary Player Lee Dokyeom, coming back from the cages of defeat, and will he strike, will he attack”

It makes you giggle and he finally lets you win.

“Indeed, a winner of my heart, and a winner of thumb wrestling”

You chuckle at his cheesy line. He’d do anything to get a laugh out of you. He loves the sound of your giggles. Almost like he takes pride in making you laugh.

“Sing for me” you cuddled into him further.

“Anything for you, Player (y/n)” he says pecking your head.

He whispers a beautiful song, only for the two of you. The one thing that worked better than medicine for your headache was dokyeom’s voice.

His voice fought all the battles in your head for you.

“I love you”

The last thing you say before you drift into dreamland.

[violetsiren90]

The Light of Your Eyes

Pairing: best friend's younger brother!Changbin x f!Reader

Genre: one-shot; friends to lovers; smut and fluff; hurt/comfort

Summary: Can the gentle touch of an unexpected pair of hands on your body heal the wounds of your soul?

Content warnings: 18+ (minors, dni), age gap romance (consenting adults); mentions of break-up and unhealthy past relationship dynamics; depression and anxiety symptoms (mild); MC has self esteem struggles, some are body-image related; the ex was low-key emotionally abusive tbh 😒; depictions of alcohol consumption (no drunkenness); depictions of food and eating (MC has a moment of negative thought patterns in regards to food consumption); gaming/watching movies; emotional breakdowns; kissing (so much kissing, guys); Fluffy fluffy FLUFF 💕; making out; interrupted shenanigans; cuddling; shirtless Binnie 👀; strong and gentle Binnie 🥺💘 ; working through FEELINGS 😅 ; breast play; nudity; oral sex (f. receiving); feedbag position; confessions and new beginnings.

Word Count: ~9300

Author's Note: Well, here it is - my first Binnie fic! I wanted to make it as sweet and sexy as he is...which, I know, is impossible, so I gave it my best shot! Hopefully, it's something worthy of his face-claim. I'm not going to make any judgements as to whether I feel it fits the bill, but rather like the man himself, tell you to be the judge of your own opinions! Jutdae!! 😂💗 But in all seriousness, if you decide to read this story, thank you! I hope it brings you something warm and fuzzy!

*The poem at the beginning is an original, and is what inspired this story!

Acknowledgements: I cannot thank @moni-logues enough for beta reading this for me, and for all her hype and humor and general human decency - this story wouldn't be what it is without her! 💖

As always, if no one has told you today, please know that you're loved, and worthy of love! 🧜‍♀️💜

    

the

Bright color of my laughter and the

Melody of the curve of my hips and the

Soft velvet of my irises

     seemed

To have taken their first breath,

Opening gently - like flowers perfuming my soul

- When bathed in the light of your eyes.

"Changbin? What are you doing here?"

     "I could ask you the same question," he says with a little smirk, whipping a dish towel over his shoulder as he shuffles back to let you in.

     Fair enough, you suppose. You are showing up without notice. Not that you ever need to give his sister any notice - as your best friend, there's a key with all the others in your purse that unlocks the door you're closing behind you. You wouldn't have even knocked had his car not been parked in the driveway.

     "Where's Nari?" you ask, glancing at the gaming console hooked up to the massive flat-screen, and a bullet blender cup half filled with something thick, pale and probably protein-packed sitting on the coffee table.

     "She went out of town for the weekend," he calls, heading back toward the dining area. "Last minute work thing." 

     Damn. 

     Your apartment is boring and barren and lonely. You wanted to hang out. You've been coming around more than usual – almost as often as when you were in grad school together. But Nari had her own life, you understood. You had your own life too.

     And then three months ago, on New Years Eve, your long-term boyfriend called it quits. It wasn't as if you were heartbroken. Not really. The relationship had been sick and slowly dying. But returning to a life lived in solitude was proving a difficult adjustment – especially navigating the new and constant stillness which left you the mental space and dexterity to run up against the shadows of wounds unhealed. And you didn't feel like growing into your EQ. You felt like distracting yourself. So you ended up at your bestie's place more often than not, these days.

     You sigh, trailing toward the kitchen. You won't stay long - if her younger brother is house sitting, he'll probably have people coming over. It's Friday night, after all, and he's twenty-four years young.

    The sound of running water, and music from a little speaker playing a catchy beat laced with fast-paced rap draws you into the warmly-lit, open kitchen. You recognize the voice on the track.

     "This new?" you ask, dropping your bag on a barstool and rounding the island to where Changbin is up to his elbows in suds at the sink. He's in a black band tee and bright blue joggers, his curly dark hair unstyled.

    He looks over his shoulder and nods.

    "What do you think? Wait, no, lemme start it over..."

     You smile to yourself as he hastily dries his hands and whips out his phone, pulling the track back to the beginning. He braces himself against the edge of the sink, gnawing on his bottom lip as he bobs his head with the lyrical punches and runs. 

     You smile to yourself, leaning your back against the counter beside him.

     "This is good, Bin," you nod earnestly. 

     "Yeah?" he asks, returning to his soapy task.

     "It really is. Hyunjin's pretty damn fast. Not as fast as you, but who is?" 

You grin, bumping your hip into his side.

     He smirks down into the bubbles.

     He's wanted to make music for as long as you've known him, and even fifteen years ago he could spit out a diss track that would have you wetting yourself laughing. He and his buddy, Hyunjin, met in high school and started messing around with music senior year. They committed to the dream, and both worked full-time gigs - Hyunjin as a tattoo artist and Changbin as a personal trainer - while promoting their artistry in their spare time. Production was a tough road to take when they were counting on nothing but raw talent and guts, but you'd always been an unflinching supporter.

     "We've got a gig next Saturday...at The Eight Ball," he remarks, looking over at you as a proud smile presses a tiny dimple into his bread cheek.

     "What?!" you squeal, turning to smack him on the arm. "Dude, that's fantastic! Oh my god, congratulations!"

     "Thanks, and ouch!" he replies, rubbing his arm with a pout that you ignore. It couldn't possibly have hurt him, not with those biceps.

     He moves to the fridge, a grin still plastered on his face.

     "You should come!" he urges over his shoulder as he appraises his sister's stash before grabbing an energy drink. "I know the boyfriend isn't into rap, but you could come with Nari..."

     You scoff softly.

     "Doesn't really matter what he likes anymore," you mumble bitterly.

     Changbin freezes as he's about to crack open the beverage in his hand.

     "Wait, what? Did you guys...is that over?"

     You purse your lips and nod. Changbin looks completely taken off guard in a way that surprises you. 

“When did that happen?”

You reach back to clutch at the cold tile of the countertop.

“Beginning of the year.”

He scratches his head.

“Nari didn’t…why didn’t you say something?”

You shrug, your eyes falling. For reasons you'd never considered, you’d rarely brought your ex around or even brought him up to Changbin. 

He turns to the still open fridge and swaps out his energy drink for two beers, opening both and sliding one across the island between you.

     "How you holding up?" he asks in earnest concern, a little furrow appearing between his dark brows.

     You want to tell him that you're fine - it's what you've been telling everyone else - but from the way he holds your gaze before letting his eyes search your face, he's looking for a real answer. You pull your lip between your teeth. You're not ready to form the words that spell the truth. He sees it.

    "Ah," he waves dismissively, "Fuck that guy. You're too good for him anyway. What an idiot."

      You blink, a little smirk tugging at your lips.

     "You don't have to hate on him just because we're-"

     "I'm hating on him because I hate him," he stares at you unflinchingly, taking another swig of his beer. "He wasn't good to you, didn't make you happy. I'm glad he's gone. Seriously, fuck him."

     You didn't expect that sort of reaction out of Changbin. Not that you expected anything, but the strong, certain tone he took in regards to your ex's unworthiness has a tiny little warmth glowing in your chest. It was like him to feel strongly and take a stand, but to have his conviction aimed at you...

     "Thanks, Bin," you murmur softly, hiding your smile behind your beer.

     The young man nods, and his lips part as if to speak when his phone buzzes in his pocket. As he answers the call - clearly, from the nature of his greeting, one of his buddies - you're reminded that you’re trespassing on his Friday night. Draining your beer, you grab your bag and slip out of the kitchen. 

     You huff a little sigh as you pull on your shoes, lingering listlessly for a moment before pulling open the door. The thought of going home has your stomach churning. You can't go back and be alone there. 

You can't.

     You have to.

     How pathetic could you possibly get? you consider sickly, staring out into the darkness. Your self-loathing and mounting anxiety battle for dominance as you will yourself to take the step over the threshold that will carry you to your car…

     Click.

     The door swishes shut, and you blink in confusion before you note a bulky arm stretched over your shoulder, hand pressed to the wooden frame below the peephole.

     You turn into Changbin's frame and he jostles backwards, hand dropping to your shoulder.

     "Where do you think you're going?" he asks, a little smirk playing on his lips.

     You try to get your bearings as you resurface from the flash flood of inner turmoil, blinking up at him in confusion.

     "Uuhh...home?" you answer, jerking a thumb back toward your intended exit.

     Changbin shakes his head. 

     "You just got here."

     "Well...I came to see Nari but she's gone, so..." 

     When the faintest shadow of hurt seems to flicker over his features at your words, you stammer to clarify.

     "Bin, it's Friday, I- you've got plans, right? I don't want to be in the way...Like, it's really nice seeing you don't get me wrong, but, it would suck to have one of your sister's random friends underfoot if you're...if..."

     You trail off. He's watching you in amusement now, arms crossed and bottom lip pulled between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked just a little higher than the other.

     "What?" you press him, now a bit self-conscious at your rambling and still on edge from the surging anxiety of moments ago. 

     Damn, what was with you? You'd been a mess lately, and now you couldn't even get your words out with Nari's kid brother?

     "I do have plans."

     Changbin's words interrupt your muddled self-assessment. You glance up at him.

     What? Okay, that's what you had been trying to...

     "I plan to kick your ass at Super Smash Bros Brawl," he quips, turning to round the couch and settle in front of it before reaching for the blue controller discarded on the coffee table.

     Huh?

     You watch him start up the game and move through selections. Shuffling toward the back of the couch, you place your hands on it. He wants to hang out? Now that he found out you'd been dumped. Nari's away, so he's falling into stride, you think to yourself. You sigh. You should be grateful. Instead, you feel like a burden.

     "Um, Bin..." you murmur, "You don't have to do this..."

     "Do what?" he asks without looking back. "I'm not going easy on you, if that's what you mean. And I'm using Kirby - nonnegotiable."

     Your heart melts a little as your eyes rest on him. He's always been a good guy, and it was like him to do this sort of thing - look out for someone when they were feeling low. Leaving simply because you don't feel worthy of his care and attention risks hurting him more than you.

     You slowly slip out of your shoes and cross into the living room, retrieving a red controller from atop the console before sinking onto the carpet beside him. You toggle through your choices before landing on Link. Changbin glances over at you disparagingly. 

     "Link sucks."

     "Kirby sucks."

     "Hey!" Changbin, practically shouts in your ear, "Don't insult my widdle cutie guy..."

     You grimace theatrically at the baby talk.

     "Don't ever do that again."

     "Or what?" Changbin challenges as he immediately unleashes a combo move that has your character hurtling toward the edge of the battle stage.

     You hop around, avoiding him and trying out different button combos. It's been forever since you played this game. Your ex had been a Halo enthusiast. You were never big on first person shooters, but you tried to get into it for his sake. He hadn't the patience to help you learn, though, and after a couple of sessions of grimaces and apologies on your behalf mumbled into his headset, he'd stopped taking you up on your offers to join him. 

     Kirby darts back and forth across the screen after you on stubby pink legs. Eventually you get the hang of things and are returning his attacks, though he easily bests you in an embarrassingly short sequence of moves.

     "Sorry, I'm no good at video games," you mumble apologetically. 

     The smug look falls from Changbin's face.

     "Why are you sorry?" he raises a brow, dropping his controller into his lap, a little smile still playing on his lips.

     You shrug. His smile fades.

     "Who says you're no good?"

     Shit.

     You shift your focus to the screen and toggle for a new character.

     "Best two out of three."

     You can feel his eyes still on you as you opt for Princess Peach.  

     Two out of three turns into five out of eight, and around eleven out of twenty, the doorbell rings. When Changbin turns in surprise toward the sound, you take the opportunity to deliver a critical blow, winning your first match of the night. He rolls his eyes as you giggle wickedly and moves to answer the door.

     You pull your phone from your pocket reflexively to check the socials you've deleted, before sighing and tossing it across the room to land on the carpet with a thud.

     "Did you just throw your phone?" 

     Glancing over your shoulder, you catch him shooting you a quizzical look over a stack of pizza boxes tall enough to feed a small army. Clambering to your feet you trail after him into the kitchen.

     "You do have plans, you liar!" you elbow him as he opens the top box and pulls out a slice, hissing as the melted cheesy overflow burns the tips of his fingers.

     "Ow!" he snaps up a napkin and cradles it under the steaming piece of pizza, shaking his other hand before holding up his fingers in front of you.

     "Blow on 'em," he whines.

     You raise your eyebrows.

     "You're joking."

     He pouts and you want to laugh. This big, grown man is seriously going to give you the lip right now?

     "That's what you get for having no patience, Bin..." you tsk disapprovingly. 

     He lets out a little disappointed sigh.

     "Meanie..." he grumbles, and lets his hand fall.

     You return your focus to the obscene amount of food now stacked on Nari's kitchen table. 

     "So, I'm sure people are going to start showing up, so I'm just gonna..."

     Changbin hands you a paper plate with two slices of pizza and heads to the fridge where he fishes out two more beers. You stare at the plate in your hand.

     "I...Bin..." 

     "What, you don't like sweet potato?" he asks with a smirk, cracking open a can and handing it to you. 

     You blink at him in confusion. 

     "Please enjoy this meal compliments of Han Jisung, who never remembers to update the address on his delivery app. Now, load up on pizza and let’s get back to it because I'm not trying to let you act like you came out on top from winning that last match on a fluke."

     You scoff at his last remark. Watching him pile several slices onto his plate, you take a bite of yours. It tastes good, and you realize as it hits your stomach that you haven't eaten all day. When was the last time you ate a real meal? When was the last time you wanted one? 

     "Noona?" 

     Changbin's voice makes you realize you had zoned out and when you blink up at him, there's just nine inches of disposable dinnerware between you. His lips are pursed and his eyes trace your features, their gaze gentle but searching. 

    "You alright?" he asks.

     There it is again; the concern. He isn't just checking in. His voice is soft and low, like his eyes. As a rule, Changbin's voice is strong, resonant - saying everything from his chest without even trying. So when he's gentle, when he pulls himself back...

    "Do you miss that guy?" he murmurs.

     "No!" 

You say it so quickly.

     Changbin nods.

     "I'm just..." Fuck, why are you suddenly so emotional? "I think I'm...adjusting. Y'know?"

     He nods again slowly. Then he reaches up and touches your face, dragging his thumb over the side of your mouth and suddenly your brain waves flat-line. Your eyes widen and your lips part, but before you can even process what's happening, he drops his hand to swipe it on a napkin.

     "Had sauce on your face," he mumbles, and you can't read his.

     His mouth is tugged up in a small smile but somehow it looks sad, and his eyes look like they're still asking a question that was never really answered. Before you can consider any further, he picks up his plate and heads back toward the living room.

     You follow him, still half in your head.

     When you sit down next to him, there's something hanging unspoken in the foot and a half of space between your bodies. Something has shifted, gone taut. 

     Shit, had you made him uncomfortable? Why had you stared at him like a weirdo when he...wait, he touched you...

     Your eyes shift over to where he sits beside you. He runs a hand through the wavy hair over his ear. Has he always been so beautiful? He turns quick enough to catch you staring and you put your plate out of your lap. The pizza smells so good but suddenly you can't touch it.

     Changbin initiates another round, which you lose in record time. Your stomach grumbles.

     "You better eat if you're going to have any hope of beating me again," he goads, finishing off his third slice to abandon the crust with the others on his plate before launching another game.

     "I had enough," you deflect, pushing your plate toward him.

     "You took two bites."

     "I need to cut back."

     "Like...go on a diet?"

     "Yeah."

     His brows furrow and his tongue slips between his lips as he sends Kirby into a hammer flip that lands as a critical hit and you wince.

"What have you eaten today?"

"What?"

     "You heard me."

     "I...I don't know. I..."

     Your stomach twists. The hunger is there, but so is the anxiety. The fear of being judged for eating too much or too quickly or...

     The game pauses. Your plate slides back toward you over the carpet.

     "The rest of that piece. Or whatever else you want. But something." 

     His voice is gentle but firm. You sigh.

     "Fine," you murmur, grabbing the half-eaten slice.

     You take a bite, and slowly raise your eyes to his as they regard you patiently.

     "Sorry," you mumble, covering your mouth, shifting away from him.

     "Why now?"

     "I make gross noises when I eat."

     "What? No you d-" 

     A hand tugs at your elbow. When you look back toward him his handsome face holds so many things, and you watch as they take turns seizing his features. Horror...pity...anger.

     "Who told you that?" he asks lowly, but it doesn't sound like a question. "Noona..."

     He squeezes your elbow.

     You feel everything you've been shoving down in your chest begin to well up. 

Fuck, no! 

Your lip trembles.

He's shifting to face you.

You shake your head and press your eyes shut.

Your hand is encompassed in a larger one.

     "It's lies, all of it," Changbin whispers with desperate conviction...and your dam breaks.

     He pulls you into his arms as you sob with abandon. One of his hands encircles your waist tugging you against his broad, warm chest, and the other slips to brush tenderly over your nape as you tuck your face into his neck. 

     "He's a liar...shhhh...he's a lying piece of shit," he insists earnestly, into your hair. "You're perfect. He's the one who needs to fix himself. You're so, so perfect." 

     Perfect? You let your heart hold the word in its palm for one precious moment before pushing it away. Your heart had never been one to accept gifts it didn't think it deserved.

     You weep and weep in his strong arms until you run out of tears, and then he holds you while you breathe. As the catharsis of your breakdown begins to settle in, you wonder at the comedown - a softer, warmer one than you've ever known – and you consider the loveliness that has broken your fall.

     Soft and firm, everywhere he touches you. And warm. So warm. Not just the heat radiating from his body like a furnace – the velvet rasp of his voice, the absolute and unfaltering nature of his embrace.

     Your hands move tentatively against his back. Soft cotton stretches and bunches between your fingers over his sturdy frame. Where your face is pressed to his collar every breath draws in a comforting combination of detergent and cologne. When you close your eyes and sigh, letting your weight sink against him further, you feel his arms tighten in response. 

     "Sorry," you croak feebly.

     "Stop," he implores you, "Every time you apologize, I want to sock that guy in the face."

     "I...I'm so stupid, I didn't even really realize..."

     "No," his arms squeeze you again, "He had your trust. It was his job to protect you."

     Protected. That's how you feel right now. Safe. So, so safe. Letting him hold you and reassure you felt good...it felt right. But yet again, the voice in your mind that liked to remind you how much of a burden you always were speaks up in a sickly whisper.

     You pull yourself slowly from his arms and off his lap. Drawing yourself up to stand, you wipe your hot cheeks, puffy red eyes finding his like the needle of a compass. Unprepared for what awaits you in his gaze, your knees nearly give out beneath you.

     Changbin is looking up from where he kneels before you, the yearning in his eyes unchecked as they burn with  an unasked question and an unspoken promise.

     "I should go," you whisper, barely able to form the words.

     "Don't," he says, standing.

     "If I stay I'll just wreck your night," you mumble.

     "You could never," he insists, lips tugging into a little smile. His eyes are still pleading.

     "Changbin..." you breathe, suddenly drowning again in the fizzy serotonin his words ignite in your chest. "You don't want..."

     "You let me be the judge of what I want."

     His hands find your arms and he pulls you in. There are centimeters between you. His eyes rest on your lips. Your heart hammers in your ears as your brain begins to malfunction the way it had when he touched your face...

     "D-do I have something on my-"

     Mouth? His.

    The whole of your being floods with something beautiful and ineffable at the touch of his lips and no voice, no doubt, no force in the world could be stronger than the one that pulls you into him. Your arms fly up to wrap around his neck and tug yourself impossibly closer. His hands drop to your waist, pressing desperately in kind, and your bodies mold together. You flush with heat, sparks igniting in your belly and skittering through your veins as his lips move against yours. He stumbles back, pulling you with him as his knees buckle at the edge of the couch, and your body spills over his lap.

Your fingers card into his hair.

His hands drop to the back of your hips.

Your tongue brushes his bottom lip.

He moans.

     At the gorgeous, deep sound from his chest, you pull back, fighting the smile that pulls at the corners of your mouth. What the fuck is happening right now? You don't get much time to consider as his head falls against the backrest and his eyes flutter open.

     "Sorry," he grins bashfully. The tips of his ears burn pink.

     "Now who's apologizing for no reason?" you tease, pressing your hands to his chest.

     He smiles so sweetly in return you feel you might physically melt. And then the smile fades and the lids of his eyes grow heavy and he leans up to claim your mouth.

     His lips taste the same as a moment ago, but their press is slower, hungrier. His hands are powerful and assertive as they hook under your thighs and pull your hips flush against his own in a single tug. You gasp softly against his lips and you feel his smirk. You feel his smirk and something else - something beginning to press up into your ass through your jeans.

     Licking into his mouth, you push down, grinding your hips over his in a slow, deliberate undulation. The groan that falls from his lips unlocks something inside of you that needs to know every sound he makes and how to elicit them. Your mouth drops to his neck.

     Suddenly, he's gripping your waist and pivoting to lay you on the cushions, slotting himself between your legs. You're still dizzy from the sudden rush of movement, when your legs curl around his hips and over his ass and–

     A loud buzzing from the coffee table has you mourning the press of Changbin's lips to your throat as he glances at the caller ID. 

     "Shit!" he scrambles to sit up, hand still gripping your thigh above your knee when he presses the phone to his ear.

     "Hey," he runs a hand through his hair. "What? Nothing. No, I didn't forget. I will, I will."

     You recognize his tone of voice. There could only be one person on the other end of the line. You sit up, your head beginning to clear as the reality of the situation washes over you.

     "Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Be safe. Love you." 

Changbin presses the end-call button and tosses the phone onto the cushion beside him. He leans back against the couch and claps his hand against your leg with a sigh.

     "She really knows how to wreck a moment for me."

     You crack a wry smile.

     "I mean, it's probably for the best that we don't desecrate your sister's couch."

     His eyes widen as horror, disgust, and amusement wage war across his features. You burst into a fit of giggles. He feigns a gag. You laugh so hard that you snort.

     "S-sorry," you clap your hand over your mouth, still tittering while your ears heat in embarrassment.

     Changbin's face softens again. He reaches for your hand and pulls it from your face, threading his fingers through yours.

     "Cut it out."

     "What? I can't be embarrassed about snorting like a pig?"

     "No. It's cute," he smirks.

     "It is not!"

     "Mhm. Everything you do is cute."

     He glances over at you, a lopsided smirk on his perfect lips, his eyes sparkling. He means it.

     You fluster, gaze dropping to your enjoined hands, and concentrate on tracing little patterns on the back of his with your thumb. He sighs.

     "Wanna watch a movie?"

     The request takes you by surprise and your heart squeezes. If it was any other guy, the night would have been over. For the fourth time tonight, you had been about to head for the door, and for the fourth time, Changbin makes you feel wanted. So you stay.

     You grab a big, fluffy blanket from the basket in Nari's room, and when you return, Changbin has the lights dimmed and Your Name ready to go on the TV. You smile as you settle in beside him, tossing half the blanket over his widespread legs.

     "We don't have to watch this just because it's my favorite, you know," you insist, but he shakes his head.

     "Taki's ma' boy," he smirks, shooting you a glance as he presses play on the remote.

     You're not quite sure what it means, but you feel your heart skip a beat just the same.

You love this movie. You love that you've seen it enough times that you can talk through it. You love that Changbin is more than willing to talk over the film himself. You're not certain when it happened, but by halfway through the movie his arm is stretched out behind your shoulders and your head rests on his bicep.

     "Do you remember seeing this together in the theater?" he asks suddenly, tilting his head toward yours.

     You grin.

     "You cried and Nari gave you shit about it," you recall.

     "You bailed me out. Told her all the sniffling was you. Never even teased me about it either."

     Changbin smiles down at you, his eyes sentimental.

     Butterflies flutter their delicate wings in your ribcage. How does he make you feel this way?

Your eyes dip to his lips for a moment. Sighing, you nuzzle into his shoulder, hiding your face as much as seeking his warmth. His arm slips off the back of the couch to curl around your shoulders and pull you into his side. The movie plays on.

     When the credits roll, Changbin stretches and yawns, and watching him it dawns on you that, working at a fitness center, he's an especially early riser.

     "We should call it a night," you offer, standing and stretching yourself, but you're tugged back down into Changbin's lap, yelping as you topple onto him.

     His arms encircle your hips as he regards you with a sleepy grin.

     "What, do I live here now?" you tease.

     "Stay the night," he urges, tightening his arms around you. "You really want to drive back now?"

     You chew your lip, eyes tracing over his face. This is all more than a bit unreal, and you haven't given yourself even one second to process what's happening, lest you utterly panic. All you know right now is that your little ship had been sinking and he had hauled you into a lifeboat. Everything outside of him seems like a raging sea.

     You nod.

     "Okay," you whisper, combing his hair away from his forehead. “I’ll stay.” 

     His eyes dip shut at your touch and the butterflies flutter gently once more.

     A few minutes later, you take Nari's room and slip into a pair of her cotton shorts, which do basically nothing to contain your ass, and tug on a plain white tee that stretches snugly over your torso. How a big guy like Changbin could have emerged from the same genetic pool as his teeny tiny sister was beyond you. As you glance in the mirror, your heart sinks. You don't like how the tight fit is pressing you out everywhere you're most self-conscious. But, they are just pajamas, and they're all you have at your disposal.

     As you're about to head into the master bathroom to finish your nightly routine, you remember that the toothbrush and toiletries you keep on hand at Nari's are in the little half-bath attached to the guest room. You groan, glancing at yourself again in the mirror, and pull a blanket around yourself before crossing the hall.

     Hoping Changbin hasn’t yet fallen asleep, you knock hesitantly on the door. You hear the bed creak before the door opens to reveal a head of mussed hair and hands scrubbing over bleary eyes. But it's not what you notice. Your apology for rousing him dies on your lips as your eyes glue themselves to his bare chest. Blinking dumbly, your eyes climb from his soft stomach subtly rippling with the presence of strong abdominals up to a pair of impressive pecs with wide-set, dusky nipples. His flannel pajama pants settle at his hips, accentuating how his body broadens as it rises from his waist to his full chest and wide shoulders flanked by bulging biceps. Thick. He's so fucking thick you could bi-

     "...Noona?" he rumbles, his voice husky from sleep. "What's wrong?"

     "Nothing...sorry..." you rush out, ripping your gaze up to his. "My toothbrush is in your room – I mean! in your bathroom. That's where I usually stay, so...but I didn't think you'd be asleep. Sorry, I can just..." 

     He rubs over one of his eyes with his palm as he steps aside.

     "You can grab it."

     Right. You shuffle in awkwardly, trying not to step on the blanket dragging around your feet. As you cross the dark room, you try not to dwell on the rumpled sheets of the bed that speak of his body having lain between them, or the soft smell of his cologne hanging in the air. You quickly retrieve the little toiletry bag and, as you move to squeeze past Changbin at the door, he eyes the fluffy shroud you're clutching to your chest.

     He raises a sleepy eyebrow.

     "I'm sure Nari has pants you could..."

     "I'm wearing pants!" you bluster, "They just...don't fit."

      You move out of the doorway to make your way back to your room, but a hand cups the side of your face and turns it as soft lips meet your forehead. 

     "Good night, noona," he murmurs with a little smile before retreating back into his room.

     You stand in the hall, staring at his door, the butterflies absolutely aflurry.

     Despite your best efforts, you can't sleep. Your mind is full of the last five hours. Full of Changbin.

     He had kissed you. You had kissed him back. And it had felt...

     You roll from your side to your back, sighing up at the dark ceiling. You chew on your lip as you remember breaking down and his arms around you. You would usually feel regretful and ashamed after baring yourself like that to someone. You despised moments of weakness. But you couldn't bring yourself to hate the moments in his arms. You didn't regret them. In fact, you wanted him to hold you again. You wanted to feel vulnerable in his hands, and you wanted him to keep you safe.

     You feel heat rush up from your neck as you recognize these feelings.

     You must be absolutely shameless, you conclude in wonder. You should be freaking out right now - this was Changbin, for Christ's sake – Nari's brother! You should be wondering what happens next, and what all of it means...but even so you can’t bring yourself to care. All your mind can focus on is how his arms felt like waking up after a nightmare to song birds and soft sunlight.

     After an hour or so of tossing and turning, the salty pizza from dinner has you parched and slipping out to the kitchen for a drink. You pull a glass from the cupboard and fill it at the fridge, gulping down the contents to refill it again. Suddenly, you feel two strong arms snake around your waist and you start, sloshing your water and smacking the back of your head into the man holding you. You hastily set your glass down and turn in his arms as he lets out a groan, one of his hands releasing you as it flies up to cup the front of his face in pain.

     "Bin, oh my god! Are you okay? You scared me!" you chide with a chuckle as you reach up to push his hand away and brush the tips of your fingers across his nose. 

    He pouts down at you and you smile.

     "Did I wake you?"

     He huffs.

     "Yeah. To get your toothbrush. Then I couldn't go back to sleep."

     "Sorry," you groan, still stroking over where you had struck his face. "Does it hurt?" 

     He nods.

     "Kiss it better," he mumbles cutely.

     You roll your eyes, but lift your lips to comply when suddenly he interrupts the motion with the soft press of his mouth to yours. It's slow and sweet, and you're struck all over again with how quickly you melt at his touch - a sensation you cannot imagine ever growing accustomed to, but to which you are fairly certain you are in danger of growing entirely addicted.

     "Bin..." you whisper against his lips, "Bin, what are we-"

     "Liar," he murmurs, pulling back.

     Your mouth parts in confusion as you stare up at him, still drunk on his lips.

     "You said the clothes didn't fit. You should wear this all the time," he smirks as he squeezes low on your waist.

     Your cheeks heat as you remember what you're wearing, but you don't have long to be anxious over it as he presses his lips to your nose...the corner of your mouth...your jaw. You tremble as you lean into him, fingers splaying over his warm, bare chest.

     "Let me show you," he whispers against your skin.

     "Sh-show me...what...?"

     He draws back, pressing his forehead to yours.

     "How perfect you are."

     You still, eyes flicking up to his. They're dark and tender and pleading. You let out a little shuddering breath.

     "I...you don't have t-"

     His arms hold you closer, gentle but insistent.

     "Let me," he whispers, the tip of his handsome nose brushing over the dip of your cupid's bow. "Please. I want to."

     You swallow, eyes dropping to his lips. You want it too, you find. You want his hands and lips and eyes all over you, bringing warmth everywhere they meet your aching body. You nod and take his lips again with yours. 

     "Yeah?" he murmurs against them.

     "Yeah," you breathe, slipping a hand up the back of his neck and into his hair.

     He groans in response, deepening the kiss as he licks at your parted lips and when your tongues brush, sparks burst in your belly. You feel it all slipping, the masks, the walls - every barrier you hold up to shield yourself from not being enough. His arms are strong and his lips are tender and you can't focus on anything but the perfection of being so utterly held.

     His mouth moves to caress your jaw, under your ear, down the column of your neck, and suddenly you feel the edge of the counter pressing into the small of your back. His hands grip your waist and he hitches you onto the tiled surface with ease. It's cold against your bare legs, but you don't have more than a second to register the discomfort as Changbin nudges his way between your knees. He runs his hands over your thighs as his eyes trail from your panting lips to your lightly heaving chest.

     You feel your nipples pebble under his gaze and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his eyes glinting with mischief as he runs a hand up your side, over your shirt, to rest under the swell of your breast. He flicks a thumb over the hardened bud and you whimper and jump. He laughs softly, his smirk spreading into a full smile as he squeezes your breast and brings his eyes to yours.

     "Your pretty body likes me, noona," he puffs proudly, massaging you deftly through the soft cotton of the tee.

     You don't have a witty retort. Your body likes him so much that it frightens you. And with the deep affection you already feel, have long felt, for him...

     You reach to gently tangle your hand again in his coarse, dark curls. He glances up, a sweet little smirk tugging at his pretty lips again. 

     "Bin..." you sigh.

     "Hmm?" he hums as he slips his hands to your bottom and tugs you forward so that you're flush against him.

     You dip your head and your lips ghost his.

     "Nothing," you whisper, and you kiss him again. Again and again.

     His hands slide from your ass to slip beneath your shirt at your lower waist and he kneads the soft flesh above your hips.

     "So soft. Feels so good," he groans into your mouth.

     You moan as the walls of your pussy contract. You're beginning to ache, beginning to drip – and his words seem to affect you as intensely as his touch.

     He moves his lips to latch onto the soft skin of your neck and suck, his hands bunching your shirt up and up until his mouth pops free from your skin and he's pulling the thin garment over your head and tossing it aside. The cool air pricks your skin and you become keenly aware, for the briefest moment, that you are sitting on your best friend's kitchen counter, stripped down to her sleep shorts, with her brother between your thighs. As your brain races to decide whether to find that incredibly arousing or absolutely panic-inducing, Changbin's cherry lips rewire your neurological pathways in favor of the former when they close around your right nipple. Your head lolls back, colliding with the cabinet door and it clatters. 

     "Shit..." you hiss softly, threading your hands into his hair and gripping it by the roots.

     Your eyes slip shut and you focus on the sensation of his warm tongue slipping over the peaks of your breasts, his strong, smooth palms cupping and caressing. And then you feel his little puffs of breath and the nudge of his nose at the valley of your chest as he groans and smushes your tits up to meet his face. 

     "I fucking live here now," he mumbles into the globe of your breast, and despite the heat of the moment, you softly laugh. You laugh and you feel his smile pressed to your skin.

     Then suddenly he's pulling you into his arms in a bridal carry. You know he's strong, as you wrap your arms around his neck, but can't push away a pang of self-consciousness as he bears your weight. 

     "Bin, I'm so heavy..."

     "You're not."

     "I don't want you to..."

     "Stop it," comes his voice in a soft, deep command as he halts in his tracks to kiss you.

     He kisses you and kisses you until you believe that he could carry you until the end of time, and then he takes you into the guest bedroom and sits you gently on the bed. The bed with the mussed sheets that smell like him. The sheets that he's leaning you into as you push yourself to the middle of the bed while he hovers over the top of your body, his lips never leaving yours.

     As he sinks down over you, the weight of his body pressing you into the mattress has warmth licking through your veins. You move your hands to caress over his broad back, feeling his muscles ripple beneath your fingers as he shifts to prop himself up on his elbow. You use the free space to trace your hand down his chest and abdomen until you reach the waistband of his pants. If he'd just push himself a few inches up you could...

     He pulls away, just barely breathless, and his eyes find yours. He reaches down with his right hand to pull yours gently from between your bodies and to his lips, before threading his fingers through yours and pressing your joined hands into the sheets beside your head.

     "I want to eat you out."

     He says it so simply, so confidently, and you can feel more arousal gush to join what's already begun to paint your inner thighs. 

     "Fuck..." you breathe, your fingers trembling in his grasp.

     "Can I?" he asks, kissing your lips softly again.

     For a moment you're afraid of what saying yes will mean, of the intimacy of it all, of the possibility that you won't measure up, someway, somehow, or maybe...that you will - and what in the world you would do with that level of acceptance...

     You let out a shaky sigh, as you hold his gaze. It arrests you and washes over you. You remember his eyes as he knelt on the living room floor, and all they pleaded with you to disbelieve, to unlearn. 

     Yes. Yes...If it's him, you want it, whatever it means.

     You surge forward, pressing your lips to his, your hands weaving through his hair, pulling him in. He lets out a tiny whimper as you devour him, kissing him with determined abandon until you have to come up for air.

     "Yes, Bin, yes," you shudder into his mouth as he pants over you. “Yes I want you to.”

In answer, he presses one last tender kiss to your lips before moving to kiss down your body. He moves slowly, but with purpose, pressing an adoring mouth to every part of you that’s bared. He kisses your ear, your neck, your collarbones…he moves over your shoulders and down your right arm to the tip of each finger. He kisses your breasts and down your stomach. He kisses your belly button, and over your hips and down your left thigh. He kisses the inside of your knee, and bends your leg to kiss over your calf and down to your ankle. 

You can barely watch him, as he brushes his lips over you, but he flicks his eyes up to yours so often you don’t dare look away. There is something flickering in his gaze, something like a challenge - daring you to contradict, to doubt what he seeks to impress upon you - and you begin to feel something strange and new. Something you’d never found at the touch of a lover, blooming in your chest and unfurling like a proud little flower under the sun: the strong, heady beauty of esteeming yourself worthy of his desire. It terrifies you a bit, and the ugly voice that has heckled you so often tries to cast doubt, but Changbin’s lips and hands are too persistent and assured for the harbinger in your mind to linger long. And the tidal wave of lovely feelings crashing over you threatens to destroy the shabby prison your heart has lingered in for so long.

Changbin lays his head on your thigh as he brings his hand off the other to cup your pussy over the softness of your shorts. His groan is nearly as loud as yours when he rubs over your mound, and it makes you impossibly wetter. He’s so unabashed and liberal with reacting to what he enjoys, and he is clearly enjoying you as much as he ever has anything.

He moves to bring his face to your clothed cunt, hovering over you for a nanosecond to catch your eyes as he mouths down over you. Your jaw drops open, and when his teeth scrape dully over your clit, your hips jerk and you fist the sheets. Changbin pulls back with a smirk, and sits back on his knees between your legs. He pulls one of your legs up to lean against his shoulder as his hands instinctively knead over the muscles of your calf and thigh.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, with a little smile.

You nod with one of your own.

“I’m gonna lift you, okay? You can hold onto my legs, but I’ll have you, so don’t worry.”

You bite your lip and nod, suddenly a little shy. Look at him. Where did he get all this confidence?

He drops your leg briefly to tug off your shorts and panties, cursing at how wet you are, and gently slipping two fingers to brush between your glistening lips and over your clit. You gasp at the sensation - his fingers deft, his touch soft but firm where you ache for him. And then, suddenly, he is sliding your legs back up to rest against his chest and shoulders. His hands slip down to your hips and he effortlessly tugs your ass over the incline of his thighs and flush with his abdomen. Your heart starts to thrum in your chest. His body is warm and sturdy against the soft plush of your ass. Heat floods your cheeks when you sense a slickness against him where your arousal has begun to smear against his stomach. He, however, is far less bashful. Widening the gap between your thighs, he dips his head down, inhaling deeply.

"Fuck…" he murmurs, squeezing your legs where he holds them. 

When he raises his eyes to yours again, they’re unlike you’ve ever seen. They’re dark and hungry and hooded in a way that nearly intimidates you. His expression is full of heat, and manly in its sudden gravity. He watches you as he slips his thumbs under your waist and, slowly with strong hands, pulls your hips up beneath his chin. Your legs bend at the knees and drape around the crown of his head. Your spine curves where your upper back is flush with his thighs, your arm on either side of his kneeling form, and as he embraces you tightly around the hips and waist, you feel nearly every ounce of your weight suspended in his hold. The blood rushes to your head where it lays against the mattress, your neck curving just shy of his knees, offering a clear view of his gorgeous face as he wastes no time in pressing his open mouth to your labia. 

Your core muscles flex in response, hips pressing higher against him as you feel ripples of exquisite pleasure trickle through your body from above. The smooth muscle of his tongue slips past your entrance and begins fucking into you. Your head swims, the slightest dizzying restriction of oxygen dampening your ability to focus on anything but the bliss of his hot, wet mouth. Being tasted has never felt this intense. You whimper, your hands reaching around his body to find purchase on his muscular ass. You feel the press of his throbbing erection into your back as his tongue fucks unhurriedly into you. He’s rock hard, and all for you. From the sight of your naked body, the feel of you in his hands, the taste of you on his tongue. From the sounds pouring off of your lips as he worships your sex. 

Your legs begin to shake. You’re so totally in his hands. He holds you, lavishes you, consumes you. Nothing stands between you and ecstasy, and you can feel your climax fast approaching as pleasure ebbs and flows like a crashing tide on the rhythm of his firm, languid strokes.

"Ch-Changbin! Nhhh!" you mewl, you voice throaty and muffled from your position. 

He growls against you and you nearly cum then. One of his hands drops to squeeze the soft mound of your right breast. Your cheeks burn, sweat beginning to bead on your forehead and neck. You can feel your pussy throbbing - hot and sticky and swollen with stimulation - as he devours it like the flesh of ripened fruit. His lips encircle your clit and suckle as the tip of his tongue flicks over the erect peak of your bud.

And then it all goes white. You lose all sense but feeling as you rock your hips up to meet him, the tension in your abdominals adding sinfully to the fluttering pulsating of your pussy. There’s nothing but you and him and his arms around you and his mouth against the most intimate parts of you as your orgasm washes over you in electrifying slow-motion, pulling you under a tidal wave of bliss for what seems like an eternity. Your lips part in a silent scream of his name, your eyes pressed shut, as he works you through the longest and most intense climax your body has ever experienced.

You feel him place one last sweet, gentle kiss to your cunt before moving the hand on your breast to one of your thighs as he guides you back down onto the bed. You’re panting and boneless as you watch him draw an arm over his cum-slicked chin and cheeks. For a moment he simply looks down at you, a victorious air about him as his eyes trace your sated features and his gorgeous chest heaves with labored breath, then he crawls forward on the bed, stretching himself out on his side next to you, his body flush with your own. He slips his hand over the soft skin of your belly and rubs it soothingly as he watches you with a little grin.

“You good?” he asks in a raspy murmur.

You reach for his face, bringing it to yours as you kiss him with what wherewithal you have. You pull away, still breathless.

“Am I good? Seo Changbin, I think I could fly.”

His answering smile is so filled with joy and pride and affection that you think you truly may have sprouted wings. You roll to your side to press yourself against him, your hand tugging at the waistband of his pajamas, but he takes your hand again in his.

“Not tonight.”

“Why?”

“Tonight is yours.”

“Bin…”

“I’m yours.”

You blink up at him, his head resting on his hand, his eyes sparkling and soft.

“If you’ll have me,” he raises your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “You don’t have to answer right now. I know you’re going through a lot, and this is all…new.” 

He smiles again, glancing down as his features take on a boyish shyness.

  “But I care for you. And, however things work out,” his eyes lock with yours again, “I’ll always protect you.” 

Your heart stands still. There are things that are too deeply lovely for words to be wasted on them. Any words but three - three that are already deeply true, but which have begun to mean something beautiful and different tonight, burying themselves like a little seed in your heart that needs time to grow. So for now you let yourself cry tears that fall like raindrops in the sunlight, and drift to sleep with the steady beat of Changbin’s heart.

“Ay!” Nari’s voice cuts through the din of chatter as her hand shoots out to narrowly prevent a fellow patron from snagging the chair beside her. “Sorry, seats are taken.”

She takes a sip of her beer and stretches her short legs as far as they will reach across the two empty chairs beside her.

“The guys are gonna have to hustle if they’re gonna sit with us,” she says reproachfully, dark brows rising as her eyes scan the venue for the bodies that belong in the seats you have been desperately attempting to reserve for the last hour.

The Eight Ball is crowded to bursting, and you scan the stage for signs of the evening’s openers. Checking your phone, you find that it’s nearly eight. You also find a text that brings a smirk to your lips.

“What?”

You glance up at Nari, who’s staring at you suspiciously.

“Nothing…” you mumble, flipping your phone back over onto the table. You sip your cocktail through a straw.

“Are you texting him?”

You nearly choke on your drink.

“What? Who?”

“You know who,” Nari mocks, narrowing her eyes at you. “The jerkwad.”

“Oh my god, Nari, no!” you sigh, as your phone buzzes again. 

She glances at it.

“Then what was with the look? Who are you…”

“Are these for us?” a voice belonging to a smiling, dimpled young man in a black hoodie with a matching beanie pulled over his head saves you from further explanation.

“Jesus, Chris, finally,” Nari admonishes as he takes the seat next to you, pulling her legs off the remaining chairs to free them up for the other two men that follow behind him. 

The freckled blond pulls Nari into a side hug which she returns, booping his nose before leaning across him to peer menacingly at his friend.

“Yo, Jisung,” she barks, “If you’re gonna order several hundred pizzas, how about taking some with you next time? My fridge is still stuffed.”

The young man blinks wide, surprised eyes at her before his brain catches up with her scolding.

“Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault!” he insists poutingly. “I ordered them because Changbin asked me to and then he canceled gaming weekend ‘cause he had a girl over.” he grumbles, causing the other two to snicker.

“Nice,” Chris giggles.

This time you do choke.

Your eyes fly to your best friend, watching the barrage of questions bubbling up on her face when a voice cuts through the din, silencing the crowd and unknowingly saving himself for the time being.

“Good evening, Eight Ballers!” Changbin rasps into his mic as Hyunjin waves, as ridiculously beautiful as ever, beside him.

You look at Changbin’s eyes.

They’re bright and confident and determined. You smile and cheer when he finishes introductions. As the band hits the first few notes of the opening number, his gaze finds yours, and it’s full of so many things.

His eyes sparkle with seven days worth of secrets – of waking up to your eyes and arms, of a weekend of nothing but bare bodies and hearts, of weeknight phone calls until the wee hours of the morning…of a new way of caring for each other that you’ll eventually tell the others, but that is just yours for now.

As you look at him, so full of adoration, you hope you can offer him even a fraction of the new world he’s only just begun to share with you – and the reflection you see a little more beautifully each day in the light of his eyes.

-Fin-

[peachesofteal]

ON GOD THE NEW ADDITION?!?!?!! SIMON, JOHNNY YALL BETTER GO SAVE YALLS GIRL! DRAG PRICE WITH YOU AND SEND GAZ AWAY WITH BEE FOR SAFETY. I CAN'T. OH MAN THEY'LL GOO ABSOLUTELY BONKERS TRYING TO GET TO DARLING! PRICE HAS NEVER SEEN SUCH BLOODLUST IN THEIR EYES BEFORE. MAAAAAAAAAN. GET THE BAD GUYS BOOOOYS. NSJANWNAJJKSNDN BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL BIG BRAIN

OKAY OKAY but switch Gaz and Price. Takes place after this.

18+ / Disco baby AU / Mature themes including violence, blood, injury, aftermath of torture. Angst.

“We’ll see you soon baby girl.” Simon cuddles Bee close before depositing her into Price’s waiting arms with one last mournful look.

Johnny stands at his shoulder, leaning forward to brush his lips across her forehead. He closes his eyes, breathing in the smell of the baby shampoo, stroking his finger across the soft skin of her fist.

“We’re gonna go get your mum, Bee.” Anxiety burns a pit in his stomach, and he pats her cheek softly. She’s sleepy, and he hopes that Price will be able to get her back to bed after they leave.

“Remember.” Price warns, for the third time. He holds the baby against his chest, protectively cradling her head while she snuggles down into the crook of his arm. “You’re not there. Make it quick, and clean.” He claps Gaz on the shoulder gruffly, and levels him with a look.

“I’ll keep an eye on ‘em.” The younger man promises, and Johnny bites back a scoff. Gaz isn’t lying, per se, but the three of them know why it’s him going, and not their captain.

They’re going to slaughter everyone in their path. Johnny is going to paint the walls red with the blood of anyone who’s laid a finger on you. He’s going to do everything they can to get you home, get you to safety.

He's not going to live in this nightmare, this worst case scenario. He's not going to lose you, again.

“Johnny.” Simon murmurs, and he pivots to look at his partner, reading Simon’s face, dark eyes boring into his above the skull balaclava.

It’s the first time Simon has been away from Bee since she appeared in their lives.

It’s the first time his hands will be violent, become weapons, since holding their daughter.

“Ye alright?” He asks softly. Simon nods. His knuckles are tight against the backpack, and Johnny swallows the lump in his throat. “She’s going to be okay.” He’s not sure if he’s talking about you, or Bee. He tries to reassure him, but the words barely trickle out. He can’t even think about it… about you. Sitting in a dark room somewhere, hurt. In pain. Terrified.

He nods.

“She has to be.”

The halls are silent, save for some occasional groans. The sounds of men crying, in pain.

Simon cares for none of them. He's not a solider anymore, but you never unlearn the pattern of violence, the dance of a kill.

And, he would kill them all again without batting an eye, shove his knife into the soft of their bellies over and over to get to you, to find you. To protect you. To protect Bee.

His fingers trace over the top of the tac vest, feeling for the edge of the photograph he brought, a picture of Bee at the park from three weeks ago, the one that was hanging on the fridge.

It comforts him. It grounds him. It reminds him, that’s there more. There’s more than the blood. The violence. The killing. There’s a little girl, at home. Waiting for her dads. Waiting for her mum.

He stares at the photograph for too long, seeking out the patterns that remind him of you, the pieces of his baby that are so like her mother.

He stares, and he stares, and he remembers to breathe. Remembers to move. Remembers where he is. Remembers enough, that he jerks forward when he hears Johnny shout something at him from where he's crouched, his hands pressed to your wounds, passing things back and forth with Gaz as they work on you. On stabilizing you.

On saving you.

“Simon.” Johnny snaps, jolting him from his stupor. "Help me with this." He directs, motioning to the gaping hole that's been torn open in your thigh, the one that bleeds freely.

When he packs a pad of gauze into it, you snap to consciousness with a broken moan.

“Hey, hey darling.” Johnny stammers, and his hands shake as he cradles your face. It’s swollen, and bruised, and your lips are dotted with blood. Your body is a crumpled mess of abuse and torture, physical evidence of their failures, the proof of your punishment for just knowing them. For once loving them. For giving them a child.

You take a long, deep breath. It's a struggle.

"You're he- here."

“Aye, we're here, we're here, love. We've got you.” Johnny chokes. You moan when he touches your neck, the sound hoarse and empty, and Simon wants to scream. He wants to tear through the bodies of of the people in the hall, wants to kill them all over again. Johnny says your name, twice, clear and loudly… and your lashes flutter.

“Keep your eyes open.” Simon demands roughly.

“Bee?” You croak, blinking up at him and he nods, fingers finding the edge of that same photograph, pulling it free.

“She’s safe. She’s at home, waiting for us. All of us.” He turns it towards you, and you squint to focus. The shadow of a smile curves across your face.

"We have to move her." Gaz instructs. He's calm. Clear headed. Simon's never been more grateful.

“We’re gonna get you home, darling.” Johnny promises, grabbing something from Gaz’s hand and pressing it to one of the wounds in your side. It's a bad sign, that you're not crying out in pain over all this. That you don't seem to be feeling it at all. “Stay with us.”

“‘kay.” You whisper, but it’s featherlight, papery thin and Simon swallows through the nausea that’s rising in his throat. You fall into uneasy silence for a second, and then-

"I want- wanted to s-see her, one last time." Your face is wet now, but it's not from blood.

"You will." Johnny shouts and Simon shoves the photo into your hand.

Your ribs stutter. Your lungs are fighting for every draw, and losing.

"You will, you will we promise. She's at home, waiting for you, darling." Simon tries to assure you, and he rests a hand against your forehead gently.

Your fingertip strokes a streak of red across the picture of your baby, dabbing onto her cheek before you look back up at Simon and Johnny with tears in your eyes. You battle yourself to take a deep breath, and then you whisper something they can barely hear as your eyes slip closed.

"Thank you... for bringing the picture."

[rafeswifeee]

》 PARTY GONE WRONG — rafe cameron x reader

word count — idk yet

Pairing: Dark Rafe Cameron x (female) Reader

▶️This is dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

(Give me more ideas guys aswell)

WARNINGS: Dark!Rafe, toxic relationship, abusive relationship, domestic violence, manipulation, chocking

SUMMARY: rafe dragging you to a party u didn’t want to go to in the first place and then him having a problem with what your wearing to the party.

AN: this is my first post and I love writing Dark!Rafe, make sure u give me ur darkest ideas. Please, reblog and give me feedback.

18+ ONLY MINOR DNI!!

__

Rafe dragged you to a party you didn’t even want to go to after u told him multiple times you aren’t going because his friends treat you like your invisible and he’s just drinking and getting high all the time at the party ; you wanted to stay in watch movies and cuddle with your boyfriend, but that wasn’t enough for him; it never was.

The problem was your outfit, let me be more specific, your dress. When your boyfriend sent you the famous ‘I’m outside’ text, you quickly finished putting on your mascara and grabbed your bag before running down the stairs and out the door as fast as you could, thinking about how mad he got at you the last time you kept him waiting for more than a minute.

Heading towards the truck that was parked in front of your house, you opened the passenger door. Rafe, distracted with his phone, looked up when you got in. As he examined your outfit very closely, his expression continued to be blank, leaving it almost impossible to work out his emotions.

“Why don’t we just stay at home and cuddle,” you said with a big smile hoping to convince him.

“No.” he snapped while looking you up and down before looking at the road and driving.

Your smile immediately faded, and your fear began to increase; you knew something was wrong with him; you started looking at yourself, looking for something that could have upset or angered him. You opened your bag and grabbed your mini mirror, and when you saw yourself, you noticed your eyes were starting to tear up ; You took a deep breath in and out to try and relieve the anxiety that was running through ur body; you didn't want your tears to pour out and fuck up your makeup that spent you a good hour and a half to do.

he proceeded to drive and you just stared out of the window; you didn't try to have another conversation with him after he had just basically blanked you. When you glanced over at him, he grabbed the steering wheel so firmly that his knuckles were turning pale white.

He finally broke the tension with the most dramatic ass sigh you’ve ever heard in your life.

“I don't have a fucking clue who you're trying to look good for with that dress…if thats what you can even call it,” the so clearly irritated blonde boy said.

You quickly looked down at the floor of the truck, feeling humiliated and insecure already.

“you look like a hooker trying to get everyone’s attention .” he spat out as he looked back at you, waiting to see your reaction.

Your face fell shocked because u didn’t expect those words to come out his mouth, but it was nothing unexpected for Rafe to say things he knew would make you cry.

You started to tear up in response; you couldn't believe he was being this rude to his own girlfriend right now.

“Are you being foreal right now?” you ask him seriously with tears beginning to roll down your face. “So you have a problem with my dress, but you also didn’t have anything to say while we was at my fucking house and I could’ve gone back in my house and changed?”

“Lose the attitude,” he said bluntly without even looking at you as we pulled up in front of topper’s house.

You shake your head no in response.

“Take me home .” you silently mumbled trying to wipe away the tears.

“What..speak up” He snarled before putting his truck into park.

“I said take me home..right now!,” you demanded, salty tears still running down ur face at this point your makeup was all ruined.

“Why should I take you home when your the one who decided to dress like a slut,” he stated laughing

He clearly didn’t care, there was nothing you could do other than cry; he was mad at you for the outfit you chose to wear, so he would do everything he could to embarrass you and ruin this night for you even though your his girlfriend and he “loves you”.

You just gave up; unbuckled ur seatbelt and got out of the vehicle not caring anymore and he quickly got out of the truck and walked behind you

“Are you be like this all night with me?” you asked as u guys get to the front door of topper’s house.

“Like what?” he said with a confused look on his face,knowing damn well he knew what she was talking about.

“I'm not doing this today I’m going home,” you said before turning around and walking towards the road.

As soon as you faced away from him, your tears started to run down ur face again like a waterfall; you hated when he got like this; you knew there was no way to change the way this night was going. So why even try? You just wanted to go inside, drink, have fun. You just wanted to be with him, but you couldn't remember the last time he even remember the last time he was with you doing something nice, and when you thought about it more, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had a cute moment together

“y/n get your ass back here!” He yelled, following behind you quickly.

He grabbed a fist full of your hair roughly and dragged you with him, not back towards the party but to his truck.

“Aww, is my poor baby upset? did I make her cry?,” he mocked, moving his grip on your hair down to ur neck. “You always cry over the tiniest things your a little cry baby,” he continued.

Rafe pinned you to his truck to face him but didn't once let go of your hair; he started smiling when he saw your tears and your makeup that was all ruined and your mascara running down your face. He was a psychopath who needed help.

“I’m not a crybaby I’m crying because you treat me like shit,” you spat between tears

“Yeah…” he trailed off, “ because I'm always the bad guy... like u weren’t the one that came out of your house looking like you wanted to get fucked by every guy you set eyes on at the party u little slut.”

“I didn't even want to go to the fucking party ur friends treat me like I’m some sort of object in the first place and all you do is snort coke!” you screamed at him as tears rapidly dribbled down your face.

Before you could get another single word out, a sharp slap was delivered across your face and you immediately hit the hard,dirty ground

“Who do u think you are you talking to you stupid bitch?” he hissed kneeling down and cupping your cheeks aggressively.

Your hand reached to touch the reddening skin, Rafe smacked your hand away quickly. You knew Rafe was a really bad boyfriend, but you had never expected him to ever lay a hand on you.

Drowned in your thoughts your didn’t realise rafe had dragged you back up onto your feet and he didn’t have a grip on your cheeks anymore his grip had gone down to your neck

“This is what u get when u talk back to me!,” he shouted in your face, tightening his hold on your neck. “If u would just learn how to keep ur fucking mouth shut we would have these problems y/n.. DO YOU UNDERSTAND,” he continued yelling the last part of his words in your face.

“R-rafe I can’t b-breath let g-go” you begged him gasping for oxygen.

“Apologise” he demanded, looking into your eyes with no remorse.

“I’m s-sorry rafe” you let out struggling to breath

He finally let you go and you dropped down to the floor coughing and gasping for air, he just laughed at you

“I think you should get an Uber home.” the blonde boy said before leaving you outside on the cold,hard floor and returning to his friend's house party.

And that's exactly what you did.

Hey guys I hope u enjoyed my first little imagine of rafeyyy💕

I read a story that inspired me to write this with my own little twists so I hope u guys enjoy and make sure u give me some requests in the comments or message me anonymously with ur darkest ideas but yeah byeee mwah x

My next post is gonna be a dark!rafecameron x reader smut

[strawberryya]

rainy nights

pairing: seungkwan x reader

synopsis: Is your fiancé ready to weather the storm if your worst nightmares were to be revealed? Maybe it's just the frigid weather seeping inside, unfurling all the anxieties you've locked away, or perhaps there's more to it.

word count: 4.6k

genre/cw: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationship, fighting, cheating allegations, mentions of food and alcohol, a lot of insecurities in relationship

rating: sfw

a/n: autumn angst coming your way!! This is for the svthub fall-ing collab which u should check out for all the cozy fall vibes that are needed during these cold and dark months 🫶

network tagging: @svthub @cultofdionysusnet @k-labels @kvanity-main

You came home to find a sleepy Seungkwan, nodding off in front of a movie he seemed to have barely begun watching. Your fiance has been working hard these past few weeks. With his newest show airing and promoting things left and right every day, you knew how exhausted he must feel. He answered your greeting with a drowsy hello as you stepped into your shared flat. The living room looked so warm even without any sun shining through the windows, the darkness outside seemingly unable to get inside through the glass panes. Quickly shaking off your outerwear you immediately ran over to Seungkwan, and the warmth he and the blankets offered you. 

“Long day?” 

Seungkwan nodded in response, smiling a little as you buried yourself on the other end of the couch. It was chilly outside, and you were cold to the bone after walking home. Seungkwan jumped at your cold feet snuggling against him in search of warmth, “My god, how are you so cold?!” 

“I didn’t realize it would be that cold outside today, so I wore my cute shoes…” you cried out, earning a sympathetic, but chastising look from Seungkwan.

Shaking his head, he told you what you already knew. “It’s fall, how could you not think it would be cold outside? What if you catch a cold?” 

“I know, I’m the one freezing because of it…” You frowned and cuddled into the blankets even more. 

Your fiance only hummed in response, having accepted your cold limbs resting against him and slowly but surely warming up. He looked very pretty tonight, his dark hair messily falling over his forehead. He had showered and changed into comfy clothes right away after coming home. You had meant to do the same, but the sting of getting into a hot shower right away after being in the freezing cold did not feel like a good idea once you had gotten inside. Cuddling was definitely the better option. And spending some time like this with Seungkwan was honestly exactly what you needed right now. It had been a while since you had been able to talk or spend time together since the both of you were working until late way too often. Resulting in the both of you being too tired to do much other than cuddle a bit or simply fall asleep. 

“Did you have dinner?” you asked, patting his leg to get his attention. He was close to falling asleep again, the movie apparently not interesting enough to keep him awake for the hour that was left. “Mm, we had a team dinner,” Seungkwan mumbled. 

“Ah, the entire crew? Where did you go? Did you eat something tasty?” you asked excitedly. Usually, Seungkwan would bring you take-away of whatever food he had eaten when going out, and you would of course do the same if you found it tasty. It was a little tradition you had created over the years. Since you both had a hard time going out to restaurants for actual dates during your busy weeks, it was easier to bring it home and share the experience once you were both home. With Seungkwan, even doggy bags had become something romantic to you. 

“It was okay, the autumn-style stew they had was pretty good though, there's some in the fridge for you if you haven’t eaten yet,” he said and let the corners of his lips curl when he heard you exited shout, he loved making you happy through small things like these. “It was me, Eunji, and a few crew people since we were the only ones left when we stopped filming today. It was pretty fun, but I think I should’ve drank a bit less since I’m supposed to film tomorrow too…” he added, making your excitement dissolve as quickly as it had appeared. 

You would’ve reassured him that it would be fine, he would do his best as usual even if he was slightly hughover. But all you could hear was her name. Eunji… Seungkwans university girlfriend. The model-looking actress who was working on the same show as Seungkwan this time. She was his first true love. She is gorgeous, kind, and worst of all: you even find her likable. 

You aren’t a jealous person, you never have been. But when it came to her… you couldn’t help but feel inferior. It was hard to speak about that with Seungkwan, he wouldn’t see it how you do. 

With a forced smile, in case his drowsy eyelids weren’t covering his sight as much as you thought, you pretended to be okay with what he had told you. 

“Eunji… It’s been a while since you worked together.” 

With a slow hum, Seungkwan agreed. It wasn’t often the two got to work together on shows nowadays. It had been more frequent right after university, their past relationship hidden from the public as a close friendship, and both of their careers within the acting industry taking off. This was also around the same time he had first met you…

“She says hi, by the way.” 

“Oh, well, tell her I said hi back next time then…” 

Seungkwan had stopped resting his head on his hand, instead letting his head fall back on the pillows leaned against the armrest. Warm light from the kitchen was lighting up his soft features, making your heart flutter when you thought about how someone like him had fallen for you. And then you felt that familiar, sinking feeling that bubbled up from within and whispered in your ear: maybe your love for him isn’t enough to keep him. 

He held your heart in his hands, and you stood powerless beside him. Still waiting to see what he would do with it in the end. If he decided to win back Eunji’s heart, what would he need yours for? 

You bit the nail of your thumb, shoulders tensing up as you watched your fiance nodding off yet again. Knowing would be better than not knowing, right? It would be less painful if you could see it coming. You were engaged, but if you didn’t get married before he broke your heart it would be easier for the both of you, wouldn’t it? 

His lips sat in a perfect pout, pretty cheekbones making him a vision to look at, and still, you felt like he wasn’t truly yours to look at like this. Did he still think about what could’ve been with Eunji? 

You couldn’t help but recall an autumn night much like this one at the beginning of your relationship. Back then you had stayed up talking late into the night. Both of you were tired, but not ready to put the threads of your conversation to rest just yet. You had told him about thoughts you had never shared with a partner before, things only your best friends knew about, things that were so deep-rooted within your thoughts that they affected your entire person. Insecurities, convictions, and the silly plans you saw in your future. He had understood you, at least you were convinced he had. You wanted to think that he still did. 

Back then, when the leaves were turning copper, and golden sunshine tainted your relationship he had told you about Eunji. The girl he wasn’t sure he would ever fully get over – his first true love. 

You had listened and felt like you understood what he had meant back then. You had your past relationships as well, with your fair share of guys you thought you would never get over until you had. She was just like that, time erases all, you were so convinced of that back then. 

Now, you felt differently. During the years since that first autumn, you had fallen deeper in love with him than you had ever been with anyone before. You had realized that he was your first true love. And you weren’t his. 

He was fast asleep on the couch next to you. You should let it all go, cuddle up next to him, and deal with your emotions after some sleep. But should do and do are very different things. Instead, you buffed Seungkwan’s leg yet again, his eyelids sliding open to look at you. “Mh?” 

“Am I your rebound?” you asked softly, tears stuck in your throat.

Your question seemed to catch him off guard. It took a while for the words to register in his tired brain. “What do you mean by that? I don’t even know what the fuck you want me to answer to that.” He barked out as he squinted at you. 

His tone was snappier than you had expected. All of your worst fears about your relationship swarmed your thoughts, and his tone made you feel like he had something to defend. Like your words had rung true, that you were just a rebound, even though he hadn’t said it straight up. 

“I mean what I said, am I your rebound? Do you still think about her?”

“Have you lost it? I can’t mention Eunji to you without you getting jealous about it?” Seungkwan had stopped trying to adjust his tired eyes to watch your expression, too tired and tipsy to take your questions seriously. It wasn’t the first time you had become overly worried about the smallest thing. He didn’t pay it too much mind and usually made sure you got some peace of mind. But tonight he didn’t want to be the one to calm your mind – he wanted to sleep. 

“Can’t we do this tomorrow instead? My head hurts.”

The tears your body was too tired to hold back came welling out, staining your cheeks. You knew it was stupid, but it wasn’t too far-fetched. People went back to their exes all the time! What made someone as amazing as Seungkwan want to stay with you instead of be with someone who was both a whole lot prettier than you and also famous in the same industry as him? She probably understood him better than you, maybe he was her true love as well. You kept making yourself more and more riled up, the longer Seungkwan kept his eyes closed, his arm now covering his tired eyes. 

“Why can’t you just tell me that you miss her? I know you do.”

Seungkwan sighed, he was getting annoyed with you now, you felt it. “You don’t know what I'm feeling. Why are you trying to start a fight?”

“I’m not trying to start a fight! I just want you to be honest with me! We don’t talk anymore and I just want to spend some time with you, and I know I can’t blame you for that, but I just… You don’t even seem to notice how much more time you spend with your ex compared to me, your freaking fiancee! So I just want to know now, before it’s too late if you even want to be with me.”

You were sobbing, desperation, anxiety, and weeks of exhaustion all washing over you at once. It was all too much, and you just wanted him to comfort you. 

“Please, just stop overthinking, I really don’t know where you got all that from… let’s just go to bed and we can try and fix all that tomorrow. I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Deal?” You sobbed. “Am I something you have to deal with? Why are you being mean? I just want to know who you even love…” 

“My god, what the fuck are you talking about? I’m so tired, I really cannot do this right now.” Seungkwan groaned, throwing the blankets off his body and walking off towards the bedroom. You didn’t say anything when he slammed the bathroom door a bit too harshly, quiet rage simmering inside of you. He seemed like he would be okay even if you were to walk out right at that moment, he didn’t even seem to care about your tears or your feelings one bit. Would he have cared if you were Eunji? 

“Fine!” You yelled towards the closed doors separating you from your fiancé. “I won’t bother you then!” 

Quickly you shoved your feet back into your shoes, throwing your jacket on, and slamming the door behind you when you left. It was childish, you knew it was. You wiped at your tears, the wind helping you dry off a little, and the cold making you question if you shouldn’t go back instead. 

But going back wouldn’t solve anything. Staying away for now was best for everyone. You needed time to cool off, time to somehow talk yourself down, and reason with your anxieties enough to go back without crying and asking stupid questions again. 

You could call someone, sleep somewhere else, and try again tomorrow night after work. Before you could even finish making up a plan like that you realized that you had left your phone at home. You hadn’t brought anything but the few things already in your jacket pockets. Under a streetlamp you checked what you had: gum wrappers, a spare charger, and your wallet. At least that would be useful… 

You weren’t sure you wanted to talk about it yet anyhow, and it was too late to barge into someone’s place unannounced. Nevertheless, you would need to find someplace warm soon, the autumn wind blowing up golden leaves around you was already biting at your skin. You decided running to the bus stop and heading further into the city would be the best idea right now, hoping to find some restaurant that would stay open even this late on a weekday. The cold had almost made you forget about why you had even gone out, but the wound of his distant words was still fresh, and your heart ached even as you ran towards the bus. 

Seungkwan heard the door slamming shut behind you, it echoed through the house. 

“Where are they even going?” he grumbled to himself. 

He could’ve gone after you, but he wasn’t ready to face you yet, he couldn’t stop being mad about the whole conversation. He wanted to fall asleep. He wanted to forget that you had doubted him, that you had cried because of him. To Seungkwan it wasn’t even a possibility that he would ever get back together with Eunji, she was a part of his past, and now a colleague. Nothing more. He thought you knew that. 

It was impossible to stop thinking about the way you had sounded so hurt, so painfully weak while you asked who you were to him. The annoyance and anger over how you had started a fight over nothing was slowly but surely morphing into worry the longer he thought about it. 

His head throbbed as he tossed and turned in bed. He still hadn’t been able to fall asleep, his mind and body too busy trying to listen to the door opening, and the faint sound of your footsteps on the wooden floor. It was always easier to fall asleep when you were beside him. For hours he tried to get his mind to let go and give him some rest before you would come home and he would try and make things right. 

He wasn’t blameless, after all. If you thought he was able to do something like that he was partially responsible, he thought as he stared into the darkness surrounding him. Should he try calling you? If he knew where you were, even if you didn’t come back home tonight, maybe he could get some sleep and apologize for his response. He had been tired, but he knew he couldn’t blame that entirely. You were tired too. It had been a long week, and he didn’t even welcome you home like he wanted to. 

Picking up his phone he was started by the bright blue light that hit his sleepy eyes. He dialed your number, hoping that you would at least pick up. 

The beeps as he waited for you to pick up sounded throughout the empty bedroom, but a faint buzzing sound traveling from somewhere further away was distinguishable after a while. Were you still home? Had you never left? He ran up before he could think twice about what to say if you were sitting out there after all this time. 

You weren’t there though, your phone ringing alone on the counter where you had left it along with your house keys and bag. “Shit, she ran out without bringing anything?” 

Seungkwan’s hand brushed through his hair, head hurting as he felt the anxious thoughts about where you could have gone and if you were safe and warm arise in his mind. What if you were outside freezing in the cold, refusing to come home because of him and his mean response? He thought about running out to find you again. But it had been hours since you left. There was no way he would be able to find you wandering the streets at this hour. He pulled open the front door, the chilly autumn breeze giving him goosebumps. The leaves were wet and stuck to the shining asphalt outside. Rain drizzled and the wind forced the tiny drops inside. He quickly shut the door again, leaving it unlocked in case you came back without him noticing. You didn’t have your keys after all. 

Now he felt even worse. Had he done enough to reassure you that he was as madly in love with you as he felt he was? What had made you doubt him? When would you come back? It was overwhelming, his mind spun, and he had no control over himself anymore. 

Seungkwan decided that it was best to not spiral too far before he knew that you were safe. He called everyone he could think of. Your parents, your best friends, and even some acquaintances who lived close by. Only a few picked up, it was past midnight on a workweek after all. The few who did were more confused than anything. Nobody had seen or heard from you, and why was he calling this late at night looking for you? Had something happened? He didn’t know how to answer the questions they all asked. Once he knew that you weren’t there he simply hurried to apologize for disturbing you so late before hanging up and trying the next person. 

But you weren’t anywhere. Nobody had seen you. Nobody had heard from you. Which wasn’t strange, since you had left your phone behind. Seungkwan held his face in his palms, staring at his list of contacts, there was nowhere else you could’ve gone. He had called everyone he could think of. You might have been with one of the people who hadn’t picked up, of course. He tried to tell himself that you were safe and warm, asleep at a friend’s house. He imagined your tears dried, and your resting figure under a blanket. Safe from the storm that was continuing to pick up outside. 

“She’s ok, I know she is,” Seungkwan mumbled to himself, hands rubbing against his features, legs unable to stay still where he sat at the kitchen counter. Hoping that someone would call back and tell him that he could relax for even a couple of hours. 

He slanted over to the couch. Once again he tried sleeping but woke up every twenty minutes, the weakest sounds of wind outside waking him where he lay, your next to his on the coffee table. It had been left behind just like he had. You had just fucking left. And now you were somewhere out in the cold or at some friend’s house seething about what a dick he was. And he was. But couldn’t you have stayed at home and let him know how much of a dick he had been instead of leaving him all alone? 

As he dozed off he could hear your laughter, he remembered it so clearly he almost thought you had come home. It wasn’t real, he could recall the day when you had been laughing just like that. A couple of years ago, on an autumn day much like today, you had moved in together, into this house. You had been so excited, and he had never felt so fond of someone as he had that day. Seungkwan had always wondered what it would feel to fall in love with someone over and over again, but with you, he had found out. Every day he found a new thing about you that drove him mad. The way you pouted, when you sang in the shower, how you would kiss him goodbye even if he was sleepy and had morning breath. It all made his heart beat an extra beat, and always put a smile on his lips. You had rolled out the carpet beneath the couch he was on right now together. You had been adamant about making sure that he got two dozen kisses before you got up from the floor to continue unpacking, leaving him chuckling on the new carpet, looking up after you as you made the house into your home. 

He had been so happy back then, and you had a magic about you that could make him happy still. 

And somehow, he had made you doubt how much he loved you. He didn’t know how, but recalling your tears as he ignored your worries last night made his heartache. A silent tear fell from his eye, waking him from his sleepless dreams. 

That first night when you had begun living your lives together in this house you had baked an apple pie. You said that the house needed to be told that someone was being loved inside of it again. Apparently, a house found out that love was present through the scent of freshly baked pies. It had made him laugh back then, but he had loved that pie. The memory gave him an idea. 

Because, if he wasn’t going to get any sleep, he might as well do something other than sit around worrying all night. 

It took him a while to follow the recipe in your favorite cookbook, he wanted to get everything just right. Carefully peeled apples, sliced and covered in butter, sugar, some flour, and a lot of cinnamon were placed gently in a pan. He had some trouble getting teh dough perfect, but after a second try, he managed to cover the filling with a thin layer of what soon became a flaky crust, a heart visible from the tiny cuts on top decorating it. 

He stared at the pie from across the kitchen floor the entire time it baked. A hundred different ways to apologize, argue back, and confess his undying love swirling around in his mind until the buzzer went off. 

When the pie stood on the rack to cool off, and the oven was turned off, Seungkwan sank down on the floor yet again. His back was against the cupboards, and his eyelids were heavy with sleepiness. He let it wash over him this time, knocking him out swiftly, and leaving him sleeping sitting up where he was. 

The rain had soaked your hair on the short run from to and from the bus. The restaurant had closed, and one of the servers had gently woken you up from your agitated sleep. You had been a bit embarrassed about having fallen asleep and leaned against your table like that, apologizing for being a nuisance to the staff while quickly paying and running out into the rainy night. 

You wanted to go home and sleep in your bed, next to Seungkwan. There hadn’t been much of a choice at that point. It was in the early hours of the morning, and the last shop had closed for the night. Home was the only place for you right now. 

The door blew open faster than you had intended for it to, the wind grabbing ahold of it as you tried to escape the cold rain. Inside it was warm, and a sweet scent filled the space, confusing you more than anything had that night. You dropped your wet jacket on a chair, mind trying to tell you to go dry off your hair, but feet dragging you towards the kitchen, too curious about what could’ve created the delicious smell of apples, cinnamon, and buttery dough. 

In the dim light from the kitchen counter lights, you found Seungkwan. Asleep on the kitchen floor, with tear-stained cheeks, and flour on his clothes and in his hair. You didn’t know how he had been able to make such a mess. You had only been gone a couple of hours. 

He made you afraid of everything that could take him away from you, and yet you couldn’t help but love him. 

You looked at the picture-perfect pie on the counter and knew you would never be able to leave him. He was your person, he had been your person since the day you had first met during that rainy fall, and he would continue to be your person until the day you were no longer on this earth. 

You bent down to him, brushing away some flour from his soft cheek. Reddened eyes blinked back at you, seemingly not quite sure if they were awake or still off in dreamland. Seungkwan’s arms wrapped around you quickly once he knew with certainty that you had come back for real. You embraced him back, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. You pulled back from him, whispering “I’m sorry,” and getting an equally apologetic look back from your fiancé. 

”I have been yours for years, please believe me when I tell you that I can’t imagine a future where you are not the only person I love.” He whispered, wiping away a water drop from the side of your face gently. You nodded, you did believe him, most days. But you felt like you needed to explain yourself, explain why you couldn’t escape your doubts about how long you would get to keep him to yourself. 

”I wouldn’t be able to do the same.”

”What?” Seungkwan’s thumb stopped moving on your cheek, confusion visible on his face. 

You took a deep breath. ”I wouldn’t be able to move on with someone else if we broke up, because you’re my first true love… and she’s yours. So how can I believe you?”

He fell silent. He remembered the words he had used that first autumn with you. ”My first true love.” Had you been hung up on Eunji all these years simply because of those words? He had thought you were only jealous of her or didn’t trust him enough. But it was his fault, to begin with- 

He hadn’t reassured you enough, he saw that now. 

”Eunji was my first love, that’s true.” He nodded slowly. When his warm hands slid up to hold your cold cheeks you could smell cinnamon on his skin. ”But I want you to be my last true love.” 

Tears fell from your eyes, ”Couldn’t you have said that earlier?” You sobbed out, ”I drank way too much for a work night…”

This made Seungkwan chuckle. His forehead pressed against yours as you both cried silent tears on the kitchen floor. ”I thought you knew.” 

You hugged him tighter, folding yourself into his warmth and his overwhelming love. ”I’ll make sure to tell you every single day from now on,” he whispered before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

Reblogging and commenting is highly appreciated!! Hearing what you thought is what makes writing and being here overall so much fun! Ty and ily 💕

[chaosisalwayscrying]

NIGHTMARE

⇥ synopsis : you have a nightmare and chris is there to help.

⇥ warnings : hospital setting, needles, ivs, throwing up, panic attack, fluff is mixed in there too dw

⇥ extra : this is based off my big ass fear of hospitals and needles 😝 i hope you guys like it cause i do!! also requests are open, please send them in 🫶🏻

⇥ masterlist !

⇥ taglist !

 

   your day had been amazing so far, you had gone shopping with the boys, filmed with them, watched some movies, and now you were getting changed in your boyfriends bathroom to go cuddle with him all night.

   you walked out of the bathroom yawning and rubbing your eyes, earning a chuckle and kiss on the cheek from chris before he went back to picking up clothes from the floor.

   "tired ma?" he asked, now looking over his shoulder at you. you hum in reply as you drape yourself over his back, ready to get in bed and sleep, but not wanting to do so without chris.

   "you don't have to put our clothes in the hamper now, lets just go to bed, m' tired" you mumble, a big yawn following your words.

   chris lets out a small laugh before turning around and picking you up, your legs immediately wrapping around him and your head lays on his shoulder as he talks. "i know you're tired ma, sorry for keeping you up" he said, rubbing the underside of your thighs with his thumb before he moves to set you in bed.

   he immediately climbs in after setting you down, beginning to get tired himself. by the time chris settles into bed and finds a  comfortable way to hold you, you’re barely awake enough to mumble a goodnight.

—————

suddenly, bright lights are in your face. you look around slowly, nurses and doctors bustle about around you. an uneasy feeling settles in your stomach, the medical setting making your anxiety spike.

“chris?” you call, hoping your boyfriend is around somewhere to help you. when he doesn’t show up, you begin to panic a little.

out of the blue, a doctor comes towards you, pulling you into an exam room. her mouth is moving but you can’t tell what she’s saying. suddenly more doctors and nurses are flooding the room, some holding you down as others prep syringes right in front of your face.

you begin to squirm, trying to get as far away from them as possible. panic curls in your stomach as you thrash around, calling for chris in hopes that he can help you.

as the people with syringes get close and grab both your arms, you frantically call for chris, desperately trying to get out of their grasp.

“chris- please help, chrissy please” you sob, still trying to get away as the needles poke your skin, injecting some form of liquid into your body.

“-by? what’s wrong? hey, ma, wake up” a voice calls, you can’t tell if it’s one of the people in front of you or from far away. regardless, you thrash some more, the needles being removed but several ivs being placed instead.

“c’mon ma, wake up. it’s ok” the voice calls again, you still can’t tell who it is, which only made you panic more.

“back up, get away, don’t touch me!” you say, in your dream it sounds like a scream, but in reality you’re barely talking above a whisper.

at this point, chris is in panic mode himself. he can’t wake you up from an obvious nightmare, and even if he could he doesn’t want to scare you more. he opts for trying one more time, this time instead of shaking you gently he’s going to be rougher, but not too rough.

as he’s shaking you and calling your name, you jolt awake. you immediately run your hands over your arms and legs, searching for ivs and needles stuck in your skin. you’re dry heaving at this point as tears stream down your face, unable to control them.

“hey ma, you’re ok. i’m here, you’re safe” chris says, taking your hand and placing it on his clavicle, letting you feel the rise and fall of his chest and his heartbeat.

“chris, it was so scary” you sob, practically curling in on yourself, trying to make the gross feeling left over from your nightmare to go away.

“i know baby, wanna talk about it?” he asks, voice soft. you’re obviously still frightened, looking around nervously as your chest heaves from your subsiding panic.

“i- i was in a hospital, and all these doctors and nurses had needles and they poked me and then put ivs all over my arms and- and-” you say, your panic. rising as you recall your nightmare. chris hums, pressing your hand further onto his chest so you can feel his breathing and heartbeat still.

“you’re not at the hospital ma, you’re at home, in our bed, nick and matt are upstairs, there’s no one here but us. you’re not going to the hospital anytime soon, it’s ok baby” he says, reaching his free hand up to wipe the tears continuing to stream down your face.

“chris-” you’re barely able to get the words out before all your heavy breathing and anxiety caused saliva to pool in your mouth. you’re out of the bed in an instant, stumbling blindly towards the bathroom before you drop down in front of the toilet and throw up your dinner.

chris is at your side in an instant, having done this before. he hold your hair gently and places kisses on your temple. once your done, he gives you a towel to wipe your mouth with and helps you brush your teeth.

“lets get you back to bed baby” he mumbles, picking you up and carrying you back to bed.

by the time you and chris were back in bed, your panic attack had faded and you were beyond ready to just crash. you felt bad for waking chris up due to your nightmare, but he had been nothing but helpful every time you had one.

“sorry for wakin’ you up chrissy” you mumble, rubbing your eyes tiredly as he carries you back to bed.

“don’t be sorry ma, it’s not your fault you had a nightmare. i’m here for you always, you know that” he says, setting you down and climbing in bed himself. he pulls you into his arms, pressing kisses in your hair and on your forehead until you let out a small giggle.

“now go back to sleep ma, you’re safe here. i promise.”

[juiles]

Sticking Out Sucks pt 2

Summary: After a good nights sleep, the three of you have a good heart to heart and when it comes time to it, they stuck up for you against the team, showing you how much they truly love you.

Age: 13

Warnings: blood, slight anxiety other then that pure and utter fluff.

Type: fluff, fluff and more fluff.

Important questions!!

Masterlist here!

Requests here!

Part 1 here!

(the pic in the middle is my little sister so please don’t take without credit!)

————————————————————————

Y/n’s pov

I don’t remember much of last night after knocking the mop over all I know is that Wanda and Natasha at one point we’re comforting me which was weird in itself.

I stirred slightly before noticing a presence beside me, well more like under me. my head was laid against someone’s chest, i could hear their steady heartbeat and smell their perfume. My eyes fluttered open slowly and the first thing i saw was a mass of red hair. I gasped wrenching out of her arms but winced when an IV pulled my skin. “Shit…”

Wanda shot up from her position, asleep next to the bed in a chair and reached her hands out. “Baby don’t pull on that. We’ll get it taken out properly.” My head whipped up to stare at her as she stood across the bed from me, one arm stretched out, the other clutching the sheets under Natasha who had propped herself up on her elbows staring at me confused.

“Wha- why- what’s g-going on?” My voice came out in a hoarse whisper, grating against the throat.

“You got shot yesterday detka… you almost passed out in the hallway. Turns out you also had a fever. You spent the night in the medbay. We didn’t want to leave you alone.” Wanda explained softly sitting back down, giving me space to figure out what was going on.

“But-but why was I sleeping on Natasha…?” A glimpse of sadness flickered over the redheads eyes before she gently smiled. “You were upset last night darling so you asked me to cuddle. Come here, let me take the IV out and we can go find somewhere more comfortable to talk hmm?” I bit my lip nodding carefully, sizing them both up before I took small steps toward the bed where Natasha gently took my hand and pulled the IV drip out of my arm. She placed a bandage over the spot, kissing it, almost out of instinct.

A look of confusion must have flickered across my face because Wanda sighed softly. “Come darling, let’s go sit in the living room hmm?” I retracted my hands and interlaced them together in front of me and followed the couple as we went towards the living room. They seemed to have a conversation with each other through their minds.

I sighed as my anxiety started to increase. I struggled the most being around these two as I’ve always wished they could almost mother figures towards me however they don’t like me. They sat on the couch, side by side, their hands interlaced. I sat in an armchair, crossing my legs underneath me, causing me to wince before untucking my left leg and let it hang down, swinging back and forth slightly. My head was tucked down, my eyes staring at my hands which were now picking at my skin around my thumbs, a bad habit I picked up from being around Natasha.

“We need to talk to you detka.” Natasha said quietly. “We messed up in the past. We shouldn’t have been treating you the way we were. It wasn’t fair.”

“You’re right it wasn’t.” I snapped, my defences coming out as i glanced up at them through my eyelashes, the look of sadness flickered across their faces confused me.

“Detka… let us finish okay?” Wanda said softly, I nodded softly in response. “We messed up. We want to make things right and explain why we acted the way we did. Can we do that?” I nodded softly finally looking up at them as Natasha continued. “You shouldn’t be on this team. Not because you aren’t skilled enough but because you’re still so young. You deserve better, to try and live as a teenager. We hoped maybe if we didn’t get close to you then maybe you would want to leave. You would ask Fury to move you… but you’re to stubborn for that.” I snorted slightly nodding my head, knowing fine well she’s right on that count.

“You are so important malyshka. You deserve to have a family which if you would like, me and Natasha would like to be that for you. Even if you don’t want us to be your official parents, we would still like to be your guardians y/n. People you can rely on. Talk to. Go to if you’re upset or scared or hurt.” Wanda said, her eyes full of fear, fear of what? I have no idea, all I know is I never wanted her to feel it again. “Last night when you were out of it, you called us mama and momma. It really made us realize how much we care about you.”

During her talk, my eyes welled up, tears filling them up, my hands picking at the skin even more now, causing it to bleed. I leaped out of my seat and clambered into Natasha’s arms, my tears turning into light sobs as I buried into her neck. “Mama… it was real… you-you… you wanted me…”

Natasha’s arms wrapped around my body, pulling me into her, rocking was back and forth gently. I felt warm drops on my head and looked up at her blinking softly. “Mama… don’t cry…”

“They’re happy tears detka… I’m just glad you feel so safe with us… we love you so much and we will spend the rest of our lives showing you that.” She said pressing kisses all over my face, making me erupt in giggles before Wanda stole me and tugged me on to her lap, her arms wrapped around my waist, pressing kisses into my head. “We love you so much detka… so much…”

“I love you guys too momma…” I murmured burying into the crook of her neck, my arms wrapping around her neck. I yawned softly into her neck and then felt her chuckle softly. “If you’re sleepy detka, take a nap, we won’t go anywhere okay?” I nodded softly into her neck and after reaching my arm out for Natasha who placed her hand in mine allowing me to pull her closer, snuggled into the two falling asleep rather quickly.

Natasha’s pov

Y/n pulling my arm so I was wrapped around her and Wanda made my heart flutter. This sweet girl took our talk so well. She’s already so comfortable around us. I love her so much. It makes my whole body melt. The three of us sat like this, cuddled together, Wanda and I just chatting about nothing until a loud bang of a door slamming opened, caused y/n to jump and start shaking in our arms.

“Shhh… you’re okay detka… it was just the guys being loud… you’re okay…” Wanda muttered into the girls hair squeezing her slightly. I shot a hard glance at Tony, Thor and Sam who stumbled in laughing loudly. They all froze seeing my glance and gulped. “Sorry… didn’t mean to wake your girlfriend Tasha…”

“You didn’t. You woke our daughter asshole.” Wanda snapped looking up at Tony who raised an eyebrow and stepped forward seeing y/n in our arms, a small shake still running through her small body. “You’re-you’re… sorry do we like her now?”

“We’ve always liked her Stark. Honestly I’m so annoyed with you guys. By the way, you’re lucky that y/n needs me right now. I’m close to snapping your neck. You are the reason she got shot yesterday the. you had the audacity to blame it on her?! Youre fucking sick. She’s a kid! She doesn’t deserve to be treated the way we have all been treating her.” I warned sending him one of my classic Natasha glares. The man visible gulped and took three steps back. “From now on, Wanda and I will be in charge of y/n. If you treat her badly, you will pay. She also won’t be going on missions until we agree she’s ready and old enough. Do you understand me?!” All three men nodded quickly before shooting out of the room. I took a deep breath before a soft whisper came from below me.

“Mama…?” I looked down to see y/n’s bright green eyes staring up at me. “Really…? No more missions…? No more… having to hurt people?”

Wanda squeezed her eyes shut, a sob choking out of her throat. “Momma??”

“No baby. No more missions or hurting others. From now on you will be a teenager. A regular kid who has two living mamas okay?” Y/n broke into a grin and flung her arms around both of our necks repeating thank you over and over. “I love you mama.” She said placing a kiss on my cheek. “I love you momma.” She said placing a soft kiss on Wanda’s cheek, making the brunette grin widely and attack her face with an abundance of kisses.

“And we love you to detka. With all our hearts.”

Taglist:

@watchoutforyelener @jusnough @flower-childz

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Hi there. I'm sorry if I'm doing this the wrong way. I've never requested anything before. (i want to put a trigger warning for self harm)

I was wondering if you could do a Kate Bishop and female reader angst/comfort where they've been dating for a bit. Kate comes home early from duty with cliny to surprise her and finds her self harming. If you can't or its too dark I understand. I struggle with self injury and a story with Kate comforting her girlfriend who struggles with mental health sounds nice.

Scars to Your Beautiful

Summary: You thought you had time to get it under control, a dark secret that not even your girlfriend knew about. But now she knows.

Please read the warnings as some topics in the this story can be triggering for some. As always you are enough and I am here if you need someone to talk to!

Warning: mention of past and current self harm, act of self harm, verbal abuse from parents, anxiety, Kate being a good girlfriend, reader has bad mental health

Word Count: 3.2k

“Sweetheart,” you looked up at your girlfriend’s voice. Her eyes flicked to yours and the small razor blade in your hand. What was she doing at home? She was earlier.

5 Days Ago

You dropped your bag to the ground with a groan. It seemed heavier daily, but you were one step closer to graduating. Then you would be free—free from strict professors, free from anxiously waiting for a paper or test to be graded to pop up on the portal, free from the endless pressure your parents placed on your shoulders to carry on your family’s legacy.

You slumped down on the couch, and your girlfriend’s dog rested his head on your lap. The action made you smile. “Hi, Lucky baby,” you whispered, scratching his head. His tongue hung out of the side of his mouth. “When do you think your mom is going to be home?” The one-eyed Golden Retriever jumped on the couch and laid on you, forcing you to lay back. “Lucky,” you laughed. “I have to do homework.” Instead of getting up, he placed his head on your chest and closed his. “Unbelievable,” you mumbled, but his breathing soon brought you to an unwanted nap.

Soft fingers running through your hair slowly woke you up. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and saw Kate with a smile on her face. “Hi, sleepy,” she teased. “How was your nap?”

“Good but unwanted,” you sat up and put your arms around her neck. “Your dog held me hostage and forced me to take a nap,” you felt her body shake from laughter, and her arms locked you into place. “Katie,” you whined. “I have to get up and do homework and cook dinner.”

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p’. “Homework can wait, and I ordered food. So now you can cuddle with your girlfriend.” You huffed, but Kate pouted her lips and gave you the best puppy dog eyes.

“Cuddling does something nice,” you gave in and rested your head on the crook of her neck. Kate reached for the remote and played the next episode of Grey’s Anatomy. You loved these moments. With her training, your classwork, and other extracurricular, it was hard to have these moments of peace. Still, anxiety began to creep into your bones as the seconds ticked to minutes, and the list of assignments was not getting any smaller. Kate touched your neck and dug her fingers into the knots. You melted against her. It was unfair how easily she could turn you into a puddle. You stayed there until the food was delivered and had to part away from the warmth of your girlfriend to eat your Chinese food. She allowed you to change the show to SVU while you ate.

“I leave for a mission tomorrow morning,” you said, dropping the chopsticks you were using. They said it should be about a week.” A week without her would be the longest you both would be apart.

“Whose going with you?” You asked.

“It’s a small team—me, Kamala, America, and Peter.” The urge to ask more died on your lips. Kate never told you what the missions were in the name of keeping you safe. It was hard to wonder, especially when nightmares woke her, and you had to clean her wounds. Instead of rattling off a hundred and one questions, you placed your food on the small table and wrapped your arms around her.

“Promise me you’ll come back to me in one piece.” It was a hard promise to keep, but you needed to hear her say.

“Of course, sweetheart,” she kissed your temple. “You are my home, my one and only. I’ll always come back to you.”

*

The universe must have liked fucking with you. As soon as Kate left for her mission, one bad thing happened after another. You received a horrible grade on a group project you were stressing over because your other members-only did the bare minimum for their part. Pleading your case to your professor fell on deaf ears because you passed. A passing grade wasn’t good enough. You needed to be perfect.

Then, your internship kept piling more and more work on you because they claimed you were the most responsible and could handle the workload. The cherry on top of the shitty sundae was a phone call from your mother.

“It seems that Dr. Narvaez hasn’t received your application,” you rolled your eyes at your mother’s tone. “Is there a reason for that?” Lucky greeted you at the door, making walking into Kate’s apartment difficult. But you greeted the one-eyed dog with a forced smile and a pat on the head. You toed off your sneakers and dropped down at the small table.

“Because I didn’t send it in,” your confession was met with silence. Sometimes, you preferred your parents constantly yelling or belittling you over the silence.

“And why is that?” You played with an arrowhead that Kate left.

“I don’t know if I want to work for Dr. Narvaez,” you said honestly. He was a friend of your father’s and owned a private practice catering to high-end clients. It would be good money but different from the work you wanted to do. You wanted to help people, not rich saps who wanted Botox.

“Are you serious? Your father gave up a lot to secure you that spot.” You bit your lip, stopping the sigh. It was what they wanted, not you.

“I want a break,” you told her and crossed your arms on top of the table. “Kate and I are thinking about taking a vacation.” The Bishops had a cabin up north, and she wanted to take you right there after graduation. She scuffed at the mention of your girlfriend. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“That girl doesn’t know what’s best for you. Not like your father and I,” you pinched the bridge of your nose. It was the same argument every time. “If you do not work with Dr. Narvaez, you will not have a successful future. You will amount to nothing. You will not only be a failure to yourself but your father, brother, and me.” This type of rant was what you were used to with her. Not praise or support or a gentle reminder that she loved you. All she would do was remind you of how much of a failure you were. If she said it so many times, it had to be true. Right?

Your mother’s degrading words echoed in your head. Worthless. Stupid. You were a disgrace. An embarrassment to the family, and you were going to amount to nothing. You were a mistake. A nobody compared to your brother. They consumed you. Everything seemed to spiral out of control. You needed some aspect of it back. It was a behavior you weren’t proud of that started in middle school. For the six months you were with Kate, you had no need to resort to destructive habits. Kate grounded you. She kept all the negative thoughts away. You found the razor blade in your jewelry box. A hidden compartment at the bottom was perfect because Kate had gone through it all the time.

So you sat on your shared bed with your pant legs rolled up. Your fingertips danced over the faint scars that decorated your skin. Sometimes, Kate traced the lines but never asked where they came from. It was second nature as you moved the sharp razor across your skin. The red of your blood bubbled to the surface. The pressure you’ve felt for the past day and a half disappeared. Finally, you felt like you had control.

The behavior continued over the next two days. Every time you brought the blade out, you promised yourself it would be the last time. It never was, but you had time to get your habit back under control. You had three days, then Kate would be home, and you wouldn’t need it anymore. You had to get everything under control, so you thought.

Present day

“What-what are you doing back?” You asked. You tried to keep your voice steady, but panic raced through your body.

“We got done early,” her voice was surprisingly calm. “I wanted to surprise you.” Her hair was damp, and she was dressed in a purple tracksuit. She must have taken a shower at the tower and rushed over here. Slowly, she closed the distance between you and here. There was enough space so you wouldn’t feel trapped. “Sweetheart, can you hand me that?” She pointed to the razor in your hand. On instinct, you gripped the blade, and you felt it cut your hand. “Please, baby, give it to me.” Her voice was firm, but you heard the plead.

“Katie,” you whimpered and dropped the blade into her outstretched hand. The world seemed to collapse around you. Your legs began to shake, and Kate caught you before you hit the ground. No tears fell from your eyes. A blanket of numbness covered your body.

“I’m going to lift you so we can get you all clean, okay?” You nodded, unable to open your mouth. Your stomach dropped as Kate quickly picked you up and walked to the bathroom. Goosebumps formed on your skin when she set you down and turned to get the first aid kit. Her body shook as she exhaled, looking at the new cuts on your thighs. “This may hurt, but I’ll be gentle, okay?” Again, you gave her another nod. You expected the sting of the antiseptic, but you felt nothing. How long have you been numb to it?

“None are very deep so that you won’t need stitches,” Kate explained. You knew that. Even in your mind-numbing haze, you knew to be careful. There was one night during high school when you cut too deep and stole your father’s suture kit. You learned that night your hands were steady enough to become a surgeon. “I’m going to clean your hand now,” without a response, she didn’t reach to take it. “Baby,” you forced yourself to look into her blue eyes. “Can I see your hand?” You nodded and gave it to her. There was a small cut, nothing compared to the ones on your legs. She cleaned it, placed a badge, and kissed your hand. “I’m going to ask you something, and I won’t be made no matter the answer as long as you are honest with me. Are there others?”

You wanted to lie. All you had to do was say no, and when she went to bed, you could clean the cuts that scattered your arms, but the lie tasted like poison. It made your stomach twist and throat constrict. Before Kate, lying about this was easy. It flowed off your tongue so quickly that even you believed it. With a quick nod, you tugged off your long-sleeved shirt. It was one of Kate’s old college shirts. Your girlfriend scanned your upper half. Again, her body shook as she exhaled. “Okay, thank you for being honest with me, baby. I’m going to clean these too.” You nodded as she kissed your forehead.

Quickly, you put your hand on the back of her neck and kept her close. You knew they needed adequately cleaned, but you needed her close. Everything felt so cold. “Tell me what you need,” she said.

“Need you,” you mumbled. “Katie,” you whined. “Please.” Your throat burned as you tried to keep your tears at bay. Kate hushed you and brought you into a tight hug.

“I’m right here, sweet girl. I’m not going anywhere.”

Once Kate deemed every cut was cleaned, she helped you change into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy hoodie. She carried you to the living room, sat on the couch, and covered you with a blanket. You whined when she pulled away. “I’m going to order food and get you some water. I’ll be right back.” You wanted to protest. She just returned from a mission, and you should be caring for her, but there was no energy in your body. When she entered the kitchen, Lucky jumped on the couch beside you. You ran our fingers through his fur.

The action was mind-numbing, the repetitive motion of his fur through your fingers. You weren’t sure how long you sat there, but Kate returned with a pizza box, and Lucky jumped to the ground. He wasn’t far, just by your feet. “Are you hungry?” She asked. You were, but your stomach twisted and turned. Dark thoughts filled your mind of how undeserving you were. “Just a few bites. I got your favorite.” She opened the box, and it was your favorite. You took a small piece, and with every bite, Kate kissed your forehead and whispered positive words in your ear. You had another slice, and once Kate ate, she put her arm around your shoulders and brought you closer. A conversation was on the horizon, but you were in no mood to talk about what led you here. It would only lead you to spiral more.

“I know we have to talk,” your voice was soft. “Can it wait? I want to cuddle with you.”

“Yeah, of course,” you felt her sigh. “I love you, baby girl. I hope you know that.”

“I love you too, Katie.”

*

You woke up in your shared bed with Kate. The archer was fast asleep, and at some point, she separated from you in the night. You smiled at how peaceful she looked so different from when she came home. You got out of bed as quietly as possible and went to the kitchen - making breakfast was the least you could do. There was little in the fridge. In your slow mental breakdown, you failed to fill the fridge. Come to think of it, that pizza you ate was your first meal since Kate left for her mission. God, your mother was right. You were worthless.

Deep within the freezer, you found a bag of frozen fruit and decided to make an acai bowl. So you divided the fruit, making sure Kate had more strawberries than blackberries, and placed it in the blender with some Greek yogurt. Thankfully, Kate was a heavy sleeper, and as the mixture was being blended, you started a fresh pot of coffee. Once it was blended, you poured the mixture into bowls.

It was on instinct. You picked up the two still-good bananas and the knife from the drawer. It was an action you’ve done 100 times, but this morning you hesitated.

Your eyes were trained on the knife every time you cut the fruit. It was dangerous to be this close to something sharp after last night. Dark and dangerous thoughts started to fill your head. You wondered how the knife you held would differ from the small razor blade you used. It could be deadly. “Sweetheart,” you snapped out of your thoughts. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly and set the knife down as your hands shook. “Sit, please. I made breakfast.” She sat at the table, and you placed the cut-up banana on top with some leftover granola you found. You brought it over to her with a coffee, and you quickly turned around to get your breakfast and return to her. You ate in silence. Occasionally, Kate would grab your hand and squeeze it. You wondered if she needed the reminder that you were here.

“I’m sorry,” you finally said and sipped your coffee. “I thought I’d get it under control before you came back.” Kate moved her thumb on the back of your hand.

“How long has this been going on?” You sighed, brought your knee up to your chest, and rested your chin on top.

“Since middle school, but I stopped when we got together. You made me feel grounded despite all the pressure and stress,” you explained. “When you went on the mission, one bad thing happened after the other.”

“Tell me what happened,” you told her about your lousy grade from your professor, the extra work your internship pilled on you, and the comments your family made. When you brought up your family, Kate tried to keep her face neutral, but her blue eyes turned stormy. She’s met your parents a handful of times and you knew how much she hated how they treated you. Once you were done with your story, it sounded foolish. It was typical pre-adult responsibilities; people were going through much worse. But Kate had a soft smile that almost caused the dame you were holding to break.

“You are so loved, baby girl. You are smart, beautiful, and kind. My world is so much brighter with you in it,” you felt your bottom lip tremble. Still, it was hard for you to believe. “Come with me,” she pulled you to your feet and towards the bathroom downstairs. She flicked on the lights and put you in front of the mirror. Her arms wrapped around your waist. “Look in the mirror,” you struggled to say, but you looked at yourself in the mirror. “My beautiful girl,” she mumbled, kissing the part of your skin uncovered by the hoodie. Her hands were warm as they moved under your hoodie and rested on your stomach. The warmth made you melt against your girlfriend’s solid frame. “I will say some sentences, and I want you to repeat them for me. Can you do that for me, baby?” You were a little hesitant but nodded. However, Kate gave you a stern look that said use your words.

“Yes, Kit Kat,” you smiled, using the nickname she hated. She tickled your sides, and your laughter danced off the bathroom walls.

“Okay, okay,” she said once your laughter turned to quiet giggles. Kate let out a shaky breath and turned her attention to the reflection. “I am strong,” you pouted when she expected you to say it back. It wasn’t true. You weren’t strong. At this moment, you felt so weak. “Come on, sweetheart, say it back to me.” You sighed.

“I am strong,” you mumbled. There was no belief in your words but Kate kissed your cheek.

“Good. I’m so proud of you. Alright, next one. I am smart,” she continued with more phrases. Each one was different from the next, but they had the same idea: I am confident, brave, and loved. Every time you repeated a phrase back, your voice was stronger, and a small part of you started to believe it. “Last one, beautiful,” she whipped away your tears with her thumb. I am enough.”

“Katie,” you whimpered. It was almost painful to say or believe. “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” she squeezed you tight. “Say it.” She encouraged you and rested her chin on your shoulder. You closed your eyes. “I am enough.”

“I am,” Worthless. A disgrace. Dumb. “I am enough.” It was so soft. “I am enough.” The second time was stronger. “I am,” Loved. Beautiful. Strong. Brave. “Enough. I am enough,” you cried. Kate was quick to turn you around and pulled you into her arms. You clung onto her back as you sobbed into her shoulder.

“You are baby. You are enough, and I will remind you every single day.” It was hard to believe. After years and years of verbal abuse from your family, those thoughts weren’t going to disappear overnight. But you were stronger than them. You were better than them. You were enough.

[svblimes]

'so cold' - ken x reader

» summary: ken experiences a snowstorm with you while the power is out. comfort ensues!

» cw: mention of rough winds

» word count: 889

- self indulgent considering the weather that's been going around. this is a short one! .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * . .   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ *

The power had been out for forty minutes, a cool chill gradually inhabiting the apartment. A blizzard had taken over the neighborhood, causing several powerlines to malfunction from fallen branches that had frozen over. You found a couple of candles from your storage cabinet to shed some light in the living room before making yourself comfortable next to the blanketed lump on the couch.

Underneath the blanket was Ken. His tall frame, obscured by the comforting fabric, shivered from the chilliness of the room. Ken had been living with you for two months now, trying to find himself in 'the real world'. Because he hailed from a place without actual weather, the climate shocked his newly formed senses.

"Do you want another blanket?" You asked him.

You heard a verifying hum come from your roommate. With that, you briefly got up to fetch a second blanket, a heavier one. Placing it on top of Ken, careful to disturb him, you watched him convulse even more.

"H-how do you deal with th-this?!" Ken's voice was wavering when he spoke as his teeth chattered. His head appeared from under the blankets, revealing his tired eyes, short, disheveled hair, and a slight amount of stubble adorning his face.

You sighed, returning to your spot next to him. The light of the candles lit Ken's face with a warm glow, his blue eyes shining despite his anxiety. He sniffled, his nose beginning to run due to the cold. Of course, his body would have a strong reaction, he only accumulated his human senses recently, after all.

"I just do what you do, hiding under some blankets. Or I'll wear a giant hoodie to keep me warm. It's not that bad, I promise." You tell him, hand briefly caressing his cheek.

The calm moment is suddenly interrupted by the wind hitting the sides of the apartment complex. Ken is startled and covers his head back under the blankets. You suspected he wasn't used to wind, either.

"Hey, it's okay…" You tell him softly. "It's just the storm passing through. You're safe in here."

With some relief, Ken peeks out at you, his body still shivering. He nodded, regarding what you told him, and shyly averted his gaze. A faint blush appeared on his cheeks as he thought about what to say next. Before you could say anything, Ken broke the silence.

"Um… Is it all right if you… If we…" His voice got quieter the more he hesitated.

You waited patiently for his proposal. With a tilt of your head, you carded your hand through his platinum-blonde hair, causing his eyes to flutter. Ken cleared his throat as he refocused, eyes meeting yours again.

"Can you stay here with me? Until the power comes back?"

As you gazed at him, you noticed the blush on his cheeks rising more as he stared at you with hopeful eyes. You already had the idea of cuddling him for warmth, but it was to your surprise that he asked you himself. Ken was absolutely a touchy kind of guy. But you didn't want to invade his personal space without permission. A smile forms on your face and you nod, lifting the blankets up just enough to harbor room to crawl under them.

You carefully wrapped your arms around Ken's torso, resting your hands down his back. His face was practically on fire as you pressed yourself snugly against him. Then suddenly, he tightly envelops his muscular arms around you, keeping you close to his chest. He was still shivering, burying his cold nose against your neck. Your right hand began to stroke his head again, a fluttery feeling pooling in your stomach.

The two of you stayed silent for what felt like minutes, until Ken looked at you again. "Thank you… This feels really nice. I've never done this before."

You smiled widely, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. Noticibly, his shivering had ceased from the increased body heat, his muscles finally relaxing. Your touch was a comforting outlet for him, allowing all of his apprehensions to fade in that moment.

Ken nuzzled his cheek affectionately against yours, his breathing evening out. You peppered additional kisses to his nose and cheeks, emiting quiet giggles from him. It was amazing how quickly he settled.

"Of course, Ken. I wouldn't let you stay cold by yourself." You told him, continuing to play with his hair.

Ken returned a sweet kiss to your lips, eyes closing. You followed suit, the both of you sharing an intimacy he had been yearning for ever since he was created. The feeling of his soft lips clashing against yours felt familiar yet unknown, your heartbeat rising from the excitement. He sighed dreamily, tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

Your lips slowly disconnect as you catch your breath, arms returning to their former locations. Quickly, you pinched his nose and snuggled up against him even more.

"I love you. Try to get some rest. I promise the storm will be over soon, and I'll be right here with you, okay?"

Ken nods, a lovesick smile adorning his sleepy face. He couldn't believe his luck finding someone as special as yourself. With one last peck to your cheek, he blissfully curls up with you beneath the soft blankets.

"I love you, too, sweetheart…"

[notyetjae]

𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲

𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Robin x f!reader

𝗪𝗖: 2.6k.

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: SMUT, pure filth, +MDNI!+ I MEAN IT. Fingering, praise, edging(?), dacryphilia, wet dreams, public sex [it's a dream], robin being a klutz, slight pain kink, porn with a little plot as a treat, aftercare, cuddling super fluffy ending ♡

𝗔/𝗡; LIVE LAUGH ROBIN BUCKLEY

“Jesus!” You screeched, burying your face into robin's chest, you were gripping her sweatshirt tightly as if that would calm your nerves. The two of you met at the video store, she helped you pick out a movie for a girl’s night and you had convinced her to come over to watch a horror movie with you, you thought she was cute and maybe the two of you could be friends, at least that’s what you told her. In reality you wanted her to fuck your brains out, to kiss her until your last breath and feel her skin against yours. You had been hinting at it all night, subtle enough to test the waters, as if her rings and outfit weren’t already a walking flag. “Easy there this sweater’s older than me” She chuckled at your frightened nature, the one thing you hadn’t been playing up the whole night, you fucking hate horror movies.

“Sorry” you mumbled, pulling away from her chest, you sat up right on the couch and noticed her frown, “everything okay?” “Yeah yeah, just uhm, yeah.” She fiddled with her rings and faced the screen, was she watching you this whole time? You tried to pay attention to the movie but you couldn’t help but notice her nervous nature, the way she fumbled with her hands and eyed the phone every few minutes, she reeked of anxiety. Without thinking you laid in her chest again, hands clutching both of her arms and rolling tiny lint balls in between your fingers, you were too afraid to look up, you simply scanned the room and not so patiently waited for a response. After a few seconds of silence, she raised a hand and stroked your hair, you could feel her heartbeat quicken as she lightly moved her hand, and somehow, against the chest of your very sudden crush, you fell asleep, to her now slowed heartbeat and peaceful breaths.

“Shhh,” Robin hushed you as her hand crept between your legs, leisurely lifting up your skirt and slipping her fingers beneath your panties, “Pretend like you’re reading something,” she whispered, her breath made the back of your neck tingle, steve was off helping lady with a romance movie, so robin took her sweet time feeling you up, and it was torture. “Please..” You pleaded, your hand was gripping her wrist, your head flew back to rest on her shoulder, “Just a little longer, sweet girl” a whimper escaped your mouth and robin quickly covered it and shushed you, throwing out words of praise as her hands moved faster, you were so close you could feel your legs shaking and stomach tense up, all you needed was a few more –

– “Y/N?” You shot awake, taking in your surroundings, as your haziness wore off you couldn’t ignore the incessant throbbing between your legs, ‘Really, a wet dream now?’, “Everything okay? You were grabbing me pretty tight and you were pretty tense too, I- I didn’t know I should’ve woken you up but then you started crying so- so I tried to shake you awake but I didn’t know if that was gonna freak you out or not and I think it did? Because you just got MORE tense so then I-” You collapsed onto her chest, praying it would stop her rambling, you could feel your face becoming flush, was she really that dense? "It wasn't a nightmare" You said, your voice was muffled by her thick sweater, "What?" "It was a wet dream!" You blurted way louder than you wanted, you felt your face heat up like crazy as you crashed back into her chest, too scared to meet her gaze. "Oh.." You were prepared for her disgusted response, her words like venom, 'I'm not even sure why you asked me here, I'll just go home' You had it all played out in your head, you enjoyed her embrace while you could.

"Do you still need to… you know?" She paused a bit, you could practically hear her anxiously biting her lip. Your head flew up, "What?" "I could- I could help" She had the softest look in her eyes, she didn't wanna hurt you it's the last thing she'd ever think about, all robin could think about was the first time she met you, she noticed every little detail, the way you fiddled with your promise ring and pushed back your hair behind your ear out of habit, and she couldn't get her eyes off your smile my god your smile is stunning, she wanted it etched into her brain for the rest of life, she would do anything for you, the one girl in Hawkins that might actually like her. She placed her palm against your cheek, guiding your gaze back to her instead of the static tv, "Can I..?" You couldn't say no to her puppy dog eyes. You nodded, grabbing her hand from your face as you leaned towards hers, your heart was beating out of your chest and you were sure you were still dreaming.

Your lips met hers, they were soft although a bit chapped, you could taste her watermelon chapstick. It was slow, and gentle, the two of you both have never really done this before, just practiced on your hand or a pillow. Robin was stiff as a board, "Relax" You said against her lips, she nodded anxiously and leaned back into the kiss, your hand slipped under her thick sweater, her skin was so soft, you cupped her lacy bra, eliciting a moan from her, you pull away, "Can you take this off?" You huffed, she nodded furiously again, quickly tossing the dingy sweater aside.

Robin's eyes flashed to your chest and back up your eyes, you chuckled, lifting your own shirt over your head, she sat in awe admiring your chest, you felt nervous under her gaze, "You okay?" You questioned, she gulped and shifted, "Yeah, yeah, you're just– Wow." You didn't notice how your hips rolled against her jeans until now, you desperately needed her touch

"Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Please touch me."

She flashed a smile, her demeanor very different, her hands grabbed your waist, slowly lowering your back against the couch, head leaning against the armrest. She slowly kissed your jaw and lowered down your body, her gentle butterfly-inducing kisses quickly turning into open mouthed sloppy kisses, your back arched as she sucked harshly on your skin, she took the chance to take off your bra, you mumbled a few swears as the cold air met your nipples. She took your breast into her mouth, moaning around you as she rolled the bud around her tongue, she glanced up to see your head thrown back, the static tv illuminating your body perfectly.

She pulled back with a satisfied pop, grinning at your disheveled state, your thighs were pressed together, eye glassy and you were covered in hickies.

"You're so beautiful," Her raspy voice drove you insane, her fingers danced around your thighs, stopping at the band of your pants she slid two fingers under the band and slowly pulled it down, "Come on robin, please" you pleaded, and finally she pulled them far enough to where you could kick them off.

Robin swung your leg over her shoulder, leaning down to clothed core, you were dripping through the thin fabric, she huffed against you, and your hips thrusted up to meet her face, "So reactive." she teased, her thin fingers slid up and down your cunt, "Take it off" You stuttered, she relented and pulled your panties to the side, licking a long stripe through your folds, you let out a breathy moan as she continued kitten licking.

"Rob" You quivered, hands wrapped in her hair, your hips tried to roll to use her mouth but you were stopped by her hand pinning you down, you whimpered in frustration, body begging for more.

"Look at me please," She said, her tongue flattening but arm still pinning you. You made the horrible, awful mistake of meeting her bright cerulean eyes, something about her eyes– no, her whole face, it drove you completely wild. "Rob, i- I need more." you begged one final time, she relented and focused on your clit, flicking and swirling her the pearl, your head fell back against the couch arm as you let out another moan.

She slipped a finger into your dripping entrance, her mouth now sucking your clit as her finger slipped in and out of you, slick gathering across her fingers and palm. All you could do was whimper and attempt to push her closer, your whole body felt like it was on fire, a lingering warmth pooled in your stomach, making you clench around Robin's slim finger, she added another finger, both curling in a come here motion against your velvet walls, the action made you curse as you bit your lip to conceal your moans, lips still puffy from your sloppy kisses.

Robin was thoroughly enjoying your little show, she closed her eyes and hummed against your heat, electricity like chills rushed up your spine, making you sharply gasp. Your moans went from low and breathy to high pitched cries and gasps, the way Robin harshly sucked your bundle of nerves while finger fucking you, occasionally pulling away to praise you, she was practically edging you but it all felt so good. The looming heat in your stomach formed a cord-like feeling, tension building as Robin sucked and moaned into you, threatening to snap at any moment before she pulled away. It was mere seconds but it was more than enough to reset the tension.

Once again, the tension built, you were surprised at Robin's stamina, continuously hitting that spongy spot inside with ease never breaking the quick pace, it was like she'd done this before. You pulled Robin's face closer to you, at some point she released her grip on your hip to keep your thigh from closing on her, "D-don't stop Rob I me– fuck, I mean it!" You rocked into her face, you could feel her try to peel back once more more but you pulled her back to your sex, she laughed against you, "Please," her grip leaving crescent shaped marks on your thighs as she realized your desperation, "I- I need it, I nee– fuck! I need you." You choked out, you didn't notice the tears welling up in your eyes until one rolled down your cheek, landing on the couch below you.

Robin didn't stop, she continued her onslaught of finger fucking and mix of swirling, flicking, sucking and the occasional moan– she even added another finger. The cord was getting tighter and tighter, your volume had no filter you shouted her name along with a string of swears a mix of pain and pleasure from her grip tightened, and before you knew it snapped, bathed in a white hot ecstasy, Robin helped come down from your high, finally slowly her pace and flattening her tongue as you caught your breath.

"You alright?" She questioned, fingers still scissoring inside you.

"Yeah, yeah I'm all good" You sighed loudly, "Can you–" before you finished she pulled her fingers out suddenly, the quick action made you hiss, it didn't hurt, just very sudden.

"Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry" Her hand leaving your thigh to cup your face, "I'm okay," You mumbled, a smile tugged at her lips, "Open your mouth sweet girl," Your eyebrows knitted together, confused you opened your mouth, she slid the three fingers she used to fuck you into your mouth, "Taste good?" You nodded and moaned around her fingers, this definitely awoke something In you.

She pulled her fingers out, leaving a trail of spit. Robin pulled you in for a kiss, you could feel her smile against your lips, she was the best kisser ever, better than any boy you'd kissed, matter of fact robin was better than any boy you'd been with in every way. You chased her lips for a bit until she fully sat up, you both chuckled.

"Oh! Here, here" She stood, holding your arms to help you stand, your legs kind of felt like a baby deer, "C'mon Bambi, let's get you all cleaned up." She teased, guiding you to your bedroom, you sat on the edge of the bed, still naked aside from your socks, "Pj's are in the middle drawer," You called out and she spun on her heel to grab some, "Thoughts on pink?" She asked, holding up a short pink night dress with lacy straps, "love it" She grinned and shut the drawer, turning back to you, "underwear?"

"Top drawer." You replied fast, despite your sleepy nature, quickly swinging the drawer open she paused for a bit before just picking whatever matched and speed walking to you. "You just fucked me but my underwear drawer makes you nervous?" Teasing the brunette, "Shush!" She exclaimed, the tips of her ears were bright red and her demeanor back to the awkward ramble-for-over-2-minutes-straight robin. "I'll go warm up the shower alright?" Stealing a kiss before walking to the bathroom.

She did just that, even offered to wash your hair, you called her a perv who just wanted to see you naked and she blushed like a middle schooler who just got asked to dance. She let you shower and cleaned up downstairs, picking up any stray clothes, rewinding the movie and placing it back in the case. She even grabbed some water from your fridge and set the bottle on your night stand, settling in your bed with just her sweater and panties on.

You poked your head out of the bathroom, she quickly placed the snow globe by your night stand down and sat up properly, clearing her throat as you shut the door behind you. "You look beautiful." The words fell out of her mouth, no time to think, like she would anyway, but she was so terrified of hurting you, like no one before you she wanted to try to grasp at any filter she might have.

"I'm sorry i– I should've asked if I could stay. I can leave." She planted her feet on the floor ready to walk out if you gave her the word, you grabbed her forearm, "You took care of me" Those eyes that made you weak meeting yours again, "No one else has done that for me like you have, not a shower and– is that water? Seriously Robin, you're trying to make me go head over heels for you."

She swallowed the lump in her throat, mouth open to speak but no words left until, "Are you?"

Silence.

Seconds passed, it felt like hours to her, especially with look you were giving her, then you kissed her, you kissed her, you didn't ask for a kiss, or wait for her to kiss first you did it, and Robin damn near fainted at the way you grabbed her sweater and kissed her as if you were trying to steal air from her lungs

"Yes, of course," You said against her lips, "Now, can we sleep?" You joked,

"God yes I'm so tired I think my fingers are gonna fall off," She dragged herself into your bed, crawling under the soft duvet, you followed right after, stealing a kiss before nuzzling into her chest, her hand rubbed circles on your back and you swore she would make a star sometimes, nonetheless you were lulled to sleep, cuddled next the love of your life, you prayed for another wet dream so you could go through this night again.

[nottapossum]

On a scale of one to velcro, how clingy are the littles with their CGs?

Heheh

Love me some clingy littles!

Charlie: 7,

She's okay on her own for the most part, and is even okay being left with another caregiver,

But she needs constant reassurance from Vaggy. She needs to hear how much she is loved and appreciated by her.

She knows it, but she needs to hear it and will ask to hear it a million times.

And when she's sad, she needs Vaggy to hold her. Nothing else will ever work.

She can calm down, but if she is upset during the day at all...she needs Vaggy's comfort.

Vaggy: 10,

Vaggy would be very happy if Charlie would hold her all the time.

She gets very pouty when Charlie isn't holding her,

She'll cry if Charlie leaves the room,

She doesn't trust a lot of other people,

And she just wants Charlie all the time. She's just a baby. She should be able to have her mama 24/7! No exceptions!

Emily: 6,

She loves Sera very much and loves getting attention, but she also likes to do her own thing sometimes.

Pentious: 7,

Pentious needs a caregiver with him for reassurance constantly. He doesn’t like being alone. He's been abandoned too many times, and he needs to make sure he's not going to be left again.

Angel: Freaking velcro!

Husk has to be there all the time, or Angel will cry.

Husk can sometimes get Angel to calm down enough to color by himself, but Husk has to be within ear and eyeshot.

Angel will follow him and cry if he's not in the same room.

Sometimes, it helps if Husk holds his hand so he knows Husk didn't leave him.

Often, they will find Angel coloring, holding one of Husk's hands while Husk is reading or playing on his phone. It's as close to a break he gets when Angel is little.

Extra:

Cherri: 0

No authority, no caregiver! Hahaha! She doesn't need anyone!!!

She loves Angel, though 💓

Clingyness to Angel is about a 6.

Fizz: 8.5

Fizz can play on his own just fine, but only for a short amount of time. He wants Ozzie around for emotional support and comfort. (Especially due to his anxiety) He knows he's safe when Ozzie is around, and he gets anxious when he's not there. And though he can walk, he perfers to be carried everywhere.💙💚

Blitzø: 8.5

Blitzø ranges from very clingy and somewhat clingy.

When really little, he wants Stolas' full attention always, wants all the attention he can get, and all the cuddles, then a little bigger, he wants Stolas around and he wants to talk about absolutely everything, but he can be left alone to play for a little while...just not too long.

Alastor: 9

Alastor can be very clingy...

He loves being the center of attention,

Loves being praised and cooed at,

He loves being held and petted and cuddled.

But only by Rosie! No one else gets to hold him. No one else pets him. No one touches him!

Well,

Mimzie can pet him ^^

And a few of the others at the cannibal colony.

And his friends.

But, that's it.

He's usually okay on his own, but if Rosie is around, Alastor will climb up on her and ask to be held and cuddled. He's very demanding of it sometimes.

Luckily, she doesn't mind one bit.

Lucifer: 9

He was very attached to Lilith, so much so that he never wanted to leave her side. He'd follow her everywhere.

Constantly ask for reassurance and praise from her, and always wanting comfort and support.

Now, after lilith left him, he's trying to be less clingy around everyone... but it's hard. :(

Moxxie: 100,000,000,000,000

Moxxie is very clingy towards both Millie and Blitzø, (but mostly Millie of course)

If he can't see Millie, he will cry. It doesn't matter. He needs to see her at least, or he'll be upset. He'll look out for her every couple minutes to make sure she's still there if he's playing with the other littles.

He will climb up on her to hug her, he'll want to be carried everywhere, and he can't fall asleep without her next to him.

Lute:7

She was very clingy when Vaggy was her caregiver, but now that Adam takes care of her, she's learned to be more independent... She still misses Vaggy, though :(

Adam: 5,

He's pretty independent but needs someone there to talk to,

Doesn't really matter who, he just doesn't want to be alone.

Clara: 10,

Clara needs to know where everyone is at all times and can't be left alone for a moment! She could be held 24/7, and she'd be okay with that.

She's a baby, so it's expected.

Odette: 6,

She's old enough to not need a lot of cuddles or help. She actually likes being more independent... but sometimes she's sad and just wants a hug.

The VVVs:

Val: 7, He can be very clingy and very not clingy when little. Val mostly is clingy around Vox, wanting to be held and comforted by him. But only on his terms, Vox trying to pick him up without it being demanded will result in him getting bitten.

Vox: 8, Vox can be totally fine on his own, for hours when older, but at his youngest, he will be needy, clingy and demanding that both Caregivers spend time with him.

He doesn't like being alone, and he wants to be cuddled and comforted!

Velvette: 9, Velvette must be entertained always, She will demand all the hugs, kisses, cuddles, and attention of her caregivers (more so Vox, but she will settle for Val)

Striker 2,

he's not very clingy at all.

He's totally fine doing his own thing and running around happily.

He needs affection just like any little, but he doesn't ask for it. He's used to not having it at all.

Stella: 9,

very much a demander of constant attention and cuddles! She gets all the attention in the world, or she'll throw a tantrum!

She just wants to be held and loved 🥺

@todayimfour

@trophyxtissues2

@ask-dusty-boy

[tokkishouse]

heyyy, okay so I read the cute lil Tighnari post and I died a lil (a lot actually, it was so cute pls my heart can't take it) If you have the time could you pls post more abt him 👁👁

I physically need more of that man, it doesn't really matter if it's sfw or nsfw or both. I just need more posts on this man or I will fall over and die 🛐

You 🤝 Me --> Needing more Tighnari content Say no more babes.

(Sfw) Tighnari as a Boyfriend

Characters: Tighnari x GN!Reader

Warnings: Slightly suggestive, subtle yandere themes

WC: 0.8k words

Fennec foxes mate for life. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Tighnari is loyal to a fault. Some of the villagers and even fellow rangers may try to woo him, but his eyes are focused on you and you alone

This also applies in the opposite direction-- if anyone flirts with you, he's by your side and growling at the offender, canines bared and ready to bite. Poor Al-Haitham got a bit of a shock when an off-handed, semi-flirtatious statement earned him a bone-chilling glare from Tighnari and the feeling of claws around his neck. Please give this man all of your attention

Gets very excited if you groom his ears and tails-- he likes to keep them nice and presentable for you and what better way to do that than to have you preen as you see fit?

Speaking of grooming-- if you do a particularly favorable job at it, he'll purr. Idc if foxes cant purr, Tighnari can. It's barely audible, trading sound for power as it's strong enough to be felt all over your body. Once he's purring you've won-- you could ask him anything and he'll probably say yes to it

Always brings you something from his expeditions-- from flowers to unique plants and strange creatures-- as long as he's vetted it to be safe, Tighnari will bring it home for you to keep. His tail curls up in anxiety as he watches you carefully inspect the gifts he brings home, but it always relaxes when he sees your delighted smile and you look at him with such adoration keep your eyes only on him

Speaking of his tail, it's the biggest indicator of his mood. If it's still, he's either in a neutral state or very focused. If it's swaying back and forth, he's calm and perhaps happy-- the faster it sways the happier he is. If it drags behind him on the floor like it has no life, he's upset. And if it curls up very tightly he may be a tad excited.

It also naturally seeks you out. If you stand next to him, it automatically wraps itself around your leg, waist, or just all over your body. You're familiar and safe, and it's a way of staying as close and connected to you as possible. It does make for some unfortunate moments when one of you decides to move abruptly, tugging the poor thing hard and lightly spraining it.

He will lecture you if you get in trouble or hurt yourself, but not out of anger-- only frustration and worry. He loves you very dearly and he doesn't want to think of a world without you. Tighnari's lectures are just another way of him expressing his concern for you and your safety. This also means that before you go anywhere, even if it's down the road to a local merchant, he'll make sure you have an emergency pack fully stocked. He can't have you tripping over a root and injuring yourself, and without anything to self-treat, now can he?

The cooler seasons are the best time to cuddle with him-- the fur on his ears and tail get slightly thicker to adjust to the falling temperatures, which makes sleeping curled up against the tail all the more comforting. Its extra warmth makes cool breezes and nightly chills a thing of the past.

While he does have a nickname or two for you, he doesn't call you by it often. Saying your name is loving as it is-- it's your name. It carries the weight of your history and how far you've come-- who you are. To him, that is the most precious thing and every time he says your name, all that information floods his brain as he conjures up the image of you, his lovely partner. During more sappy and romantic moments though, he will throw in a nickname for you here and there.

He may tease and be sarcastic with you, but if you express your discomfort, he'll stop immediately. However, if you can match his snarkiness and shoot back your own witty retorts, you'll have him completely ensnared. An off-handed comment turns into a full-blown snark fest with neither of you willing to give up until you leave the other completely stumped. It makes those around you either annoyed or amused. After all, anyone that can keep up with Tighnari's wit is sure to make a worthy opponent.

All in all, Tighnari is a very caring boyfriend with his own quirks. If you're lucky enough to be chosen by him, you'll have quite the satisfactory relationship-- one that only inspires joy and free love. Just be mindful not to set off one of his more fox-like instincts. It often can get...messy.

Requests (both sfw and nsfw) are open~! If you want a nsfw version of this lmk