#but not like the dream really got into many specifics therein so why would it be based on anything (which prob Would come w/specifics)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

description of a substantive billions dream

a typical [school problems] genre thread of assigned fiction reading became a book about winston as an elementary or middle schooler, and how there was a new girl who, i guess to sort of change the conversation around herself from [being the new girl] instead established the topic as her having a crush on someone, this being winston who she’d already interacted with more often than others / was closest to friends with. but he was kind of uncomfortable with this and so there was a scene with them talking about it and her explaining it seemed like the kind of thing she was supposed to do, with mutual genuinely liking each other but not necessarily so far as [let’s declare mutual crushes or bother with that framework at all at the present]. and yet there was a sort of dramatic irony tone conveyed for the audience that, not that this was incorrect / inaccurate or anything, but naturally that anything associated w/that framework might not be off the table forever, especially what with having a whole discussion about things really here just cementing that they do both want to be / consider themselves like friends proper. there was a little illustration like so:

i don’t remember my dream supplying a name for the girl, just like how it didn’t supply any particular design for elementary or middle schooler winston than “smaller, i guess”....despite things only featuring this small winston at the start, it then became a) about regular billions b) directly observable as An Event as well as being relayed through reading the book still and c) about winston and taylor and others, including the older unnamed dream oc girl, having a pleasant day outdoors in a meadow by water and sometimes in a cave with water, as a helpful offshoot of another prior typical dream thread.

more granular and vivid details: one scene being observed half directly as a real event, half through reading about it, ended with philip and taylor at a distance (winston keeps the pov) sitting in a field by water, and philip being playfully affectionate with taylor like 😉 and holding their hand and calling them “baby” while taylor is like 😳 like so:

i read this part like :o ! and turned to noted blogger nothingunrealistic like “omg what page/chapter are you on” and they had not yet reached it so i was like “omggg...” expressions to the [honey you’ve got a big storm coming (positive)] effect

and another scene specific enough to have drawn was that, after having enjoyed a swim (philip constantly appearing in usual canon-type business suits despite the outdoors activities, even this one) winston kind of [tag you’re it]’d philip out of the water and they had this drenched like wrestle embrace ft. winston pressing his face to philip in as close to a kiss as anything else that happened. had as much or more as a like lighthearted playful energy as anything as well despite the [intricate rituals] and [sounds like a sexually charged kind of situation perhaps] lol like well once again it needn’t Not be that, but things are casual and spontaneous And homoerotic. everyone simply being comfortable enough despite tensions of [discuss that you’re nervous abt there being hot gossip abt you as a Crush] or [flirtation ft. the recipient being flustered] or [plenty of physical touch plus affection] like so:

let’s go boys! and of course, relevant as well that winston was Deeply Affectionate and Closely Aware/Attentive towards taylor the whole time, sometimes conveyed simply through how again taylor scenes were seen through him as the pov character and myself as the pov beyond that, like, of course there’s tayston and of course there’s plenty of like, well anyone here may be liable to kiss anyone and everyone else. tl;dr everyone enjoying this refreshing outdoors excursion and being comfortable in the marinade of any of that tension re: potential increased emotional and/or physical intimacy with each other out there, like, as a metaphor, having a stretch and despite the element of [!] there it can also be unthreatening, welcome, pleasant and it can be like “well i’m glad for the greater flexibility this can yield. and/or being warmed up for something. and/or easing an uncomfortable physical sensation. etc” lol. good for them

[incarnateirony]

To the Nonnie that left a 5 parter in my inbox:

I am not going to post your nonsense.

I am not going to circulate your redefinitions, your new goalposts, your explicit deletion and argumentation against a far larger bulk of openly identified bisexual people, and your raging. I have already addressed these, and they boil down to “You’re literally destructive to the LGBT battle while you think you’re being progressive.”

I am not going to be part in circulation people’s own manufactured dialogues they put between their own ears anymore.

You are not promised platform. You are not promised my inbox. You are not promised any specific performance from LGBT creators within the demographic they are writing the text that would be representative in if you have paid *zilch* attention to their working conditions.

In fact, you literally don’t even get to fucking pretend you’re here about representation while *overtly denying the words, sociopolitical representation commentary, and working conditions of the LGBT creators you’re hot dogging right now*. Half the fucking fight is also behind the scenes GETTING LGBT CREATORS CREATING, even if at times they’re limited. 

Representation isn’t just on screen, diversity in writing crews behind scene is the fight, and if you pretend it isn’t just to gang bang LGBT creators for not performing how you want, without *ANY* fucking human consideration for why things are the way they are? *You, deep down, don’t give a shit about representation, or production team diversity, or LGBT creators -- you give a shit about getting exactly what you want exactly the way you want without even recognizing that may not be universal to LGBT people as proven by my notifs right now -- and largely with the reductionist point of wanting to win against trolls on the internet at which point YOU HAVE LEFT THE REPRESENTATION WHEELHOUSE (x); or if you do truly believe what some rando -- probably a woman, rather than the LGBT male POV -- said, you need to DRAMATICALLY RE-ALIGN AND CONSIDER YOUR POV*

“The whole idea of representation” that you have is close, but still a made up thing. It’s what perfect representation is. It’s not what the battle is. It’s never been what the battle is.

So just because you’ve dreamed up, say, a GA opposed to you, while the GA openly fucking talks about all this shit (right down to “marriage/dark point in the romance/divorce/breakup), on non-fansite major news publications, rather than fangirls that are scared of losing their website traffic in this fucking bog of bitterness, liars, extortionists and tinhats?

It doesn’t fucking matter.

Text is text is text. Queer text is queer text no matter how upset you get on if it was *visible* enough for you. That will continue to stay true. It will continue to be true when you make GA monsters in your head that don’t exist anywhere in reality. It will continue to stay true when you want to argue with a clout monkey that doesn’t even believe what they say. It’s going to be true. 

It’s fine to want more visible text. That IS the nature of the fight. The nature of the fight is NOT deleting low visibility text. And i’m going to ask you to PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FUCKING HOLY, ACTUALLY EDUCATE YOURSELF ON LGBT MEDIA HISTORY AND THE REPRESENTATION BATTLE.

Not just a random link convenient to someone’s article that vague blogs the general history. Actually educate yourself if you’re going to get in this fight because HOLY SHIT the children that have tried have *MISERABLY FUCKED UP* and then quite unfortunately normalized that fucking up, that everybody thought it was the new brand of woke because of herd mind.

If you’ve internalized enough phobia from the abusive manipulations within this fandom that you’ve convinced yourself bisexual people are *SO DAMN INVISIBLE* that nobody gets what’s going on while the GA is all “SHIT MAN THEY GOT A DIVORCE T_T”, that’s a you thing.

I am not your therapist. I am not your mother. I can not *force* you to get in touch with what the GA, or the creatives, or anyone else has said on anything related to this content, because I’ve been blogging it all and here you are, clearly not reading any of it. I can not force you to stop erasing LGBT text you, personally, nonniemcnonface, don’t like the visibility of. BUT I CAN STRONGLY ENCOURAGE IT.

But nobody owes you anything. Not my inbox. Not the platform on my blog. Not *your, specific, preferred, very precise point of view*. When you are a middle aged LGBT cis man raised in the 80s in patriarchal environments, and/or hold a great deal of conversation explicitly with the demographic and its representation in question, and by that I mean not 1, 2, 3, or even just 10 LGBT men within a step of that demographic. Because that’s the story of the character being told. It’s not *your* story. It’s a story you may resonate with depending how close to it you are. But *that* is what representation is: creating a universal platform of diverse, queer stories until it is saturated into the media to such an extent you *will* eventually find someone that ticks all your demographic boxes when you turn on your TV (be that race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, or whatever else.) Demanding everyone’s unilateral demands be met when they aren’t even in the intersectional demographic isn’t representation. It’s tokenization. It’s the exact same way we end up with stereotyped gays to try to fit everyone’s “visibility” wants. It’s why there IS such a problem with LGBT male and, most explicitly, bisexual male representation. You are making half of the problem unto yourselves.

Until then, you don’t get to talk over those people. No matter how many anons you send thinking it sounds *gr8* because you haven’t read the entire discussion, you just got *mad* at part of it and didn’t want to introspect. That? That’s a problem.

Let’s say you work at Subway and they say you can only put 6 olives on a footlong without charging extra. Your boss vaguely holds that up but doesn’t micro count your olives so sometimes you give them 7 or 8 because you feel bad, and you want to give as much as you can to the customers. But if corporate notices somehow you’re burning through a shit ton of olives, it doesn’t matter what your intent is. It doesn’t matter if your manager agrees. If corporate comes down and tells you to stop putting down extra olives, you have a choice to completely quit/be fired from making sandwiches for people or to comply. Or, at least, to wait long enough to squeak new extra olives in.

*WelComE tO thE coRporAte chAIN and AduLT reALitY* -- Bobo sitting here piling as many olives on as he can until magically suddenly stopping for a year at a time and then y’all are bitching because he didn’t put the whole assed olive tree on your sandwich. When you get up to the counter, and start throwing a goddamn shitfit, you are now Karen. Don’t be Karen.

And no, Karen demanding that if she can't have as many olives as she wants then nobody should get any olives and to stop putting down olives is not anywhere in touch with functional reality.

And UNTIL you learn to pay attention to what the LGBT cis male raised in the 80s middle aged author on crew says on *this specific topic*, who was writing on sociopolitical LGBT representation issues probably since you were in *diapers*, and the methodology and struggles therein? You don’t really get a say. Once you’re able to sociopolitically contend with what that very author postured about representation *16 years ago* and have an equally well addressed set of points, then you can at least hold debate with his ideas. Until then, this is “WHAT I WANT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

Go away.

Like god fucking damn Bobo “I stand in front of ICE walls”, “fuck every candidate but Bernie sanders” Berens, highly progressive left wing sociopolitical queer author still fucking understood incrementalization 16 years ago can you all fucking CATCH UP?

He didn’t fucking like it, but he understood it. He addressed it as a necessary evil that has been formative in our process and progress and expansion in visibility. You don’t have to like it either, but just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t *understand* why it works like that. Just like “text that isn’t visible enough for you is still text”, “real world issues and methods you don’t like are still real even if you don’t like them.” Bobo got it. Your turn. Cuz he doesn’t have to like his working conditions. But he can work through them the best he can. And addressed this many moons before ever writing his first SPN episode that was the first recorded time a showrunner told them to lean into it being played like lovers. Yeah. That? That was Bobo’s episode. In fact, 99% of the shit y’all uwu about is Bobo’s. Steve. Collette. The mixtape. The breakup. Gosh golly gee it’s almost like he’s fighting his ass off to tell you a story in what incremental methods he’s allowed and you’re all just trying to fuck him for it. Hell even this episode in question, Jeremy’s, Jeremy went out of his way to thank Bobo for all his guidance and help.

We’ve made progress via incrementalization, and just because you can name a few other shows that have entirely different bankrolling, marketing, distributions, demographics, that HAvE gAy shIT doesn’t mean shit. You don’t think every product a store sells comes from the same production line in the same premises with the same materials and the same target audience when they sell a wide brand of merchandise, do you? I promise you Great Value macaroni is managed and distributed differently than LED light bulbs and bicycles. These are not the same products.

The presumptuous, self-serving, personalized and franky manufactured wants and demands cloaked in a representation suit while choosing to do active harm to what progress we have -- intentionally ignorant to the actual representation battle and imagining what it is, and is like, and is about -- literally talking over the long-standing voicebox of an LGBT creator making the content who has been ENGAGED. IN THIS FIGHT. SINCE MOST OF YALL. WERE IN KINDERGARTEN? It’s fucking gross. It’s manipulative. It’s abusive. Maybe you’ve been manipulated into not understanding that, and you really believe what you say, I really don’t fucking know. But I do know you need a HUGE crash course in HOW THIS ALL WORKS and WHAT THE TARGET POINTS AND METHODOLOGICAL TARGETS ARE.

There is no magic clap on clap off bullshit. That isn’t how. It works. If it worked like that, we wouldn’t HAVE a fucking fight. (Imagine thinking that critically. Please, I beg you.)

[fleurdehivers]

Can u like.. link that pynch playlist u were talking about? Because i think you have great taste

sure i can! i’m going to apologise in advance because you probably just wanted the link – hope it works! –, but i’m going to explain my choices of songs a little because i kind of envisioned it as a sort of soundtrack to the series. so there are different ‘blocks’ of songs each one referring to a particular book or even a single chapter or scene. 

(also sorry for replying so late, i had a full day)

i’m going to put the rest under a ‘keep reading’ cut because this is going to be long.

the raven boys comprises the songs from when you were young by the killers to sky full of songs by florence. the songs from luck by american authors to can’t help falling in love by elvis refer to the dream thieves and a few of them come from mstief’s soundcloud playlist for the novel (nominally luck, fight song, keep it low, daydreaming). from welcome home, son by american authors to the chain by fleetwood mac we’re in blue lily, lily blue. from in my veins by andrew belle to winter winds by mumford i’m following the events of the raven king. and the songs from first day of my life by bright eyes to the end refer to adam and ronan’s life after chapter 67 of trk… in my head when i made the playlist til death do us part by white lion was about their marriage, but yeah that’s just a hc.

okay, this is the part that you can totally skip and i wouldn’t blame you if you did. BUT. these are the songs that reminded me of specific moments in the story:

snake eyes is about calla revealing her insight into ronan’s mind and calling him a snake in trb

pills is about ronan punching adam’s father

daydreaming is about ronan experimenting with his abilities in tdt

unattainable and can’t help falling in love with you are about ronan voicing his second secret at the end of tdt

welcome home, son and home are about ronan being able to return to the barns

the songs from skin graph to somebody to die for are a hypothetical mix for the cassette ronan leaves in adam’s car and i took them from another playlist, made for the fic things you know by heart by moreraventhanothers (they wouldn’t be my choice of songs for the playlist, they feel too romantic, but i liked the songs so that’s that)

the songs from take me to church to devil side are about the church scene in bllb

church refers to the quote at the start of chapter 18 of trk

angels and first time he kissed a boy are about adam and ronan’s first kiss

i want to know what love is is about adam and gansey’s conversation soon after

trade mistakes and together we will live forever are about the rest of adam and ronan’s night

the moon is down and mr loverman are about ronan being alone at the barns when adam is away for college

and then (i’m sorry, this is going to end soon i promise) these are the lyrics that really screamed pynch imho.

When We Were Young, The Killers

[about adam]

Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus

But he talks like a gentlemen

Like you imagined when you were young

The Bad in Each Other, Feist 

[adam]

Speak plain he said

But didn’t say

He acted that way

Therein lies the doubt

We had the same feelings

[both]

When a good man and a good woman

Can’t find the good in each other

Then a good man and a good woman

Will bring out the worst in the other

The bad in each other

But what and how

To find us now

When we’ve become two

Pills, The Perishers

[ronan]

I hope my fists

can fight for two

So you’ll never have to see

What we’ve grown to be

Snake Eyes, Mumford & Sons

[about ronan]

It’s in the eyes

I can tell, you will always be danger

Fight Song, The Republic Tigers

[both]

Everyday we’re fighting, and we’re

Causing bolts of lightning, like a

Hot and cold collision in the sky.

[ronan]

If you cared, there’d be love in the air.

Thisle & Weeds, Mumford & Sons

[adam]

Spare me your judgments and spare me your dreams

‘Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams

Unattainable, Little Joy

[ronan]

Only when the goal is unattainable

Do I start to feel like I’m losing myself

And this deep secret that hasn’t come out yet

Is buried down deep with the rest

I can’t coerce you into this one

Jealousy lay all your spells to bed

I’ll choose unloved instead

Can’t Help Falling in Love, Elvis Presley

[ronan]

Shall I stay

Would it be a sin

If I can’t help falling in love with you

Wolves Without Teeth, Of Monsters And Men

[ronan]

You hover like a hummingbird

Haunt me in my sleep

You’ll sailing from another world

Sinking in my sea, oh

You’re feeding on my energy

I’m letting go of it

I can see through you

We are the same

It’s perfectly strange

I Wanna Be Yours, Arctic Monkeys

[ronan]

Secrets I have held in my heart

Are harder to hide than I thought

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

From Afar, Vance Joy

[ronan]

They told me “boy, look the other way”

Told me “boy, bite your tongue”

‘Cause that’s not the way

Yeah, that’s not the way

Oh, that’s just not the way that friends behave

Oh, that’s just not the way that friends behave

You light me up across the room

Two falling sparks, one willing fool

And I, I always knew that I would love you from afar

And that is just the way that we remain

Oh, that will be the way that we remain

It shouldn’t come as a surprise

What I’m feeling, what I’m feeling now

It shouldn’t come as a surprise

The Run And Go, twenty one pilots

[ronan]

I can’t take them on my own, my own

Oh, I’m not the one you know, you know

I have killed a man and all I know

Don’t wanna call you in the nighttime

Don’t wanna give you all my pieces

Don’t wanna hand you all my trouble

Don’t wanna give you all my demons

You’ll have to watch me struggle

From several rooms away

But tonight I’ll need you to stay

Devil Side, Foxes

[adam]

Run and hide, it’s gonna be bad tonight

‘Cause here comes your devil side

It’s gonna ruin me

It’s almost like, slow motion suicide

Watching your devil side, get between you and me

Still I want you, but not for your devil side

Not for your haunted life, just for you

So tell me why I deal with your devil side

I deal with your dangerous mind, but never with you

Church, Fall Out Boy

[ronan]

If you were church, I’d get on my knees

Confess my love, I’d know where to be

My sanctuary, you’re holy to me

If you were church, I’d get on my knees

My Body Is A Cage, Arcade Fire

[ronan]

My body is a cage

That keeps me from dancing with the one I love

But my mind holds the key

Angels, The xx

[both]

You move through the room

Like breathing was easy

If someone believed me

They would be

As in love with you as I am

And everyday

I am learning about you

The things that no one else sees

And with words unspoken

A silent devotion

I know you know what I mean

And the end is unknown

But I think I’m ready

As long as you’re with me

I Want to Know What Love Is, Foreigner

[adam!]

I’ve gotta take a little time

A little time to think things over

In my life there’s been heartache and pain

I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me

I’m gonna take a little time,

A little time to look around me

I’ve got nowhere left to hide

It looks like love has finally found me

Trade Mistakes, Panic! At the Disco

[ronan]

I may never sleep tonight

As long as you’re still burning bright

First Day Of My Life, Bright Eyes

[ronan]

Yours is the first face that I saw

I think I was blind before I met you

“This is the first day of my life

I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you

But, now I don’t care, I could go anywhere with you

And I’d probably be happy”

[adam]

So if you wanna be with me

With these things there’s no telling

We’ll just have to wait and see

But I’d rather be working for a paycheck

Than waiting to win the lottery

Besides, maybe this time it’s different

I mean I really think you like me, me, me, me

Drive, Halsey

[ronan]

My hands wrapped around a stick shift

Swerving on the 405, I can never keep my eyes off this

My neck, the feeling of your soft lips

Illuminated in the light, bouncing off the exit signs I missed

[adam]

And California [Henrietta] never felt like home to me

Carves into my hollow chest, spreads over the emptiness

Over analyze again

Starving, Hailee Steinfeld

[adam]

I didn’t know that I was starving till I tasted you

[ronan]

You know just how to make my heart beat faster

arms, Christina Perri

[adam]

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart

But you came around

And you knocked me off the ground from the start

How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around

I can’t decide if I’ll let you save my life or if I’ll drown

The world is coming down on me

And I can’t find a reason to be loved

I’ve never truly loved ‘till you put your arms around me

And I believe that it’s easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls

I’ll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me and I’m home

The Moon Is Down, Radical Face

[adam]

There ain’t no moon tonight

It’s hard for me to see

But if I can catch a glimpse of you

It helps me feel at ease

It helps me sleep

[ronan]

You were never at rest

You were always somewhere-bound

But as for me, I’m the simple kind

I’ll live and die in this town

[betsynagler]

The Four (Thousand, New) Questions

When I was growing up, I didn't really have to think too much about what it meant to be a Jewish American. A large part of that was living in New Jersey, where being a member of the tribe isn’t exactly an anomaly. In Newark, pretty much all of my friends were Jewish or Black, until I spent 2nd grade in Catholic School. You’d think that might make it weird, but even then, it wasn’t. All my new friends just had Irish and Italian names, and I got to sit in the back during mass and read, which is the dream of every second grader. And when we moved to the suburbs, things became, if anything, more Jewy. We joined Temple Israel and actually tried going to services every once in a while, and I went to Hebrew school on Saturdays. At my suburban public grade school, I learned the term “Jappy” something my friends and I called other girls that we considered spoiled, regardless of whether or not they were Jewish, and in junior high, the school bus that came from the most wealthy, Jewish neighborhood in town was sometimes referred to as “The Jew Canoe.” Who did we learn these terms from? Other Jews. We were the ones trading in the laughable stereotypes, because that’s American Jewish culture all over: we joke because we can. It’s never been in doubt in my lifetime that we belong here, to the degree that we are comfortable poking fun at ourselves, enough that while we are very aware that we aren’t and will never be the majority — and if you forget that, you always have the 30 to 60 days of Christmas to remind you — we are perfectly okay with that; and enough to feel safe in the knowledge that the past is the past, because in the Tri-State Area in the 1970s and 80s, anti-Semitism was about as real to me as Star Wars: something that existed long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The same thing with Nazis. Nazis were the movie villains nobody got upset about. Nobody ever said, “Why do the Nazis always have to be the bad guys?” Why? Because they were the bad guys. 

That doesn’t mean that my Jewish identity was 100% uncomplicated, mostly because I was raised to figure stuff out for myself. Mine were the kind of parents who took us to fancy restaurants and said, “Want to order the escargot? Have at it!”, perhaps not realizing that they’d end up with a seven-year-old who liked to try every appetizer on the menu but had a stomach the size of a golfball – which led to my parents gaining weight in the 70s, which led to their joining the exercise craze in the 80s...See how history happens? Being able to make my own decisions meant I could quit Hebrew school after one year (I was already a well-practiced quitter of stuff I didn't like, such as wearing dresses and learning the violin). I felt a little guilty about it, so I was definitely Jewish in that way, but one of the reasons I couldn’t get behind religious school was the fact that Judaism was supposedly my religion, but – go figure – our family was not religious. My parents don’t agree on which type of not-religious they are, since my mother describes herself as an atheist and my father calls himself an agnostic, but that’s only if you push them, since neither of them cares enough about it either way. They still identify as Jewish, and therein lay the confusion for me: Judaism is kind of an ethnic identity as well as a religion, but in a weird way, because you can convert to it, which you can’t do with, say, Slavic, and because it’s not one where we all come from one specific place, since Jews were basically driven out of everywhere. Sure, my family were all driven out of one country, Poland, but that didn’t exactly make them feel Polish. No, we were definitely Jews, just the secular kind, which is actually a thing — although I didn’t know anyone else like that in high school, the result being that in my group of friends, a mix of Jews and non-Jews, I was in my own category of Jewish, But Doesn’t Know When Any of the Holidays Are.

When I went to college on the West Coast, where I was meeting new people all the time, it was common for people tell me I didn’t “look Jewish,” which seemed to just fit right in with every other confusing part of my Jewish identity. You might think that, as a stealth Jew, I’d finally be privy to negativity about us, but that never happened. That was around the time of the rise of the religious right, and there were a lot of born-again Christians at Stanford, my freshman dorm was full of them. But while they may have believed I was going to hell, most of them still seemed happy to hang with me while we were alive – one of them even took me out for fro yo once (that’s short for “frozen yogurt,” and eating it together at Stanford in 1987 was called “dating”). If anything, being Jewish around them was an advantage, because they never tried to rebirth me the way they did other Christians, like my poor freshman roommate – I would come back to our room to find her surrounded by a group of them, looking uncomfortable, like she was getting hit on by Jesus. Mind you, I know now that my school was a liberal bubble inside the liberal bubble that was Northern California, and that protected me from a lot of things. But while we were definitely dealing with racism and sexism on campus at the time, anti-Semitism? That just wasn’t a thing.

Neither was being a Jewish person who didn’t support Israel. I didn’t know all that much about Israel growing up. I knew that it was the Jewish state, where I had once had some relatives, and that my cousins and eventually my brother — who finished Hebrew school — went to visit because they felt like it was an important way to learn about who they were. I didn’t. But when, in college, I had my first conversation with someone who’d lived in Israel about the way that Israelis felt this constant existential threat to their existence that justified their defensive posture when it came to negotiating peace with the Palestinians, even though they clearly had vast military superiority, I didn’t necessarily agree, but I got it. I understood why Israelis felt that, in a visceral, six-million-dead-just-because-they-were-like-you way that I think most non-Jews can’t. 

That was probably as much of a surprise to me as it was to anyone: that, on some level, in spite of not looking Jewish, or being able to speak Hebrew, or knowing what Sukkot was (if it wasn’t about eating or presents, it didn’t make it into the Nagler Canon of Holidays), I actually still somehow just was Jewish. And that part of my identity might never have really sunk in if I hadn’t become a New Yorker. Moving here didn’t just mean that I discovered Zabars, or that I was a bagel snob, or that I would be able to have lox at catering pretty much every day (and occasionally take some home if it was really good), although those things did indeed happen. New York was able to absorb and assimilate Jewish culture in a way that allowed it to flourish as one distinct flavor of the whole that is this city of many flavors. New York is a Jewish city – in same way that it’s also Italian, Irish, African-American, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Russian, Indian, Dominican, Pakistani, Caribbean, Mexican, and the list goes on depending on who’s arrived recently and who’s coming next. And so, from the way I relate to food, to my sense of humor, to my analytical and intellectual side, to how forthright/tactless I can be, to my overall worldview: living here enabled me to recognize that I just wouldn’t be this way if I weren’t Jewish.

Everything feels different in 2019 in so many, surreal ways, but what exactly it means to be Jewish in America is definitely a big one. I’ve felt some vulnerability and uncertainty as a woman for most of my life, as you do, but I’ve never felt that way about being a Jew until now. To the point that I can’t call myself “a Jew” any more, because suddenly, that’s an epithet. How the hell did that happen? When did we allow them to take that word away? Then there’s the realization of, Wait, we can’t make those jokes any more because there are people who actually still think that shit about us? And they’re telling other people? Fucking internet. Add to that the fault lines within the American Jewish community over Israel and the ground really starts to feel like it’s swaying under your feet. How much we should continue to support this country that seems increasingly unrecognizable to me, that is so racked by fear and sectarianism that it appears to have given up on peace and democracy, that votes for a leader who has demonstrated time and again that he is both racist and corrupt? Well, now that I’ve put it like that, okay, maybe this is something that Israel and the United States have in common right now, but that doesn’t make it any better for those of use who are trying to stay on the sane side of it all. I’m lucky that most of my family is in agreement with me on these issues, but my mother has some cousins with whom she is close that she had to ask to stop sending her political emails, because their conservative views about Israel seemed to have somehow spread to abortion and immigration, despite that fact that they live in San Francisco. Jewish Trump supporters? From the Bay Area? What the hell is the going on?! Come on, this can’t be us. When an audience at the Republican Jewish Coalition cheers when Trump says “Our country’s full. You can’t come in,” don’t they hear the eerie echos of what the American government said to the boats full of Jews they sent back to be slaughtered in the holocaust? Don’t they know that we are supposed to be sharp, and educated, and fucking liberals? Oh, wait, is “liberal” now a bad word not just among conservatives but for some on the left too, as in the “liberal elite who control everything” that they’re always talking about? But, double wait, wasn’t that just another way anti-Semites used to say “the Jews” without saying “the Jews”? But triple wait, aren’t Bernie Sanders and Glenn Greenwald Jewish? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Of course, this about when all of your older Jewish relatives shake their heads at all of this and say, “See? This is exactly the shit always happens to us. Somehow, when things go bad in the world, and people start believing crazy conspiracy shit, that always turns back on the Jews.” I never believed that before, so to see it sort of happening right before my eyes is really something. But at the same time, I’m sure as hell not going to let that make me just silo up. Yeah, there are the swastikas, and the Tree of Life synagogue shooting, and “Jews will not replace us,” but can we honestly say we have it worse than everyone else who’s under attack in this country right now? What’s the point of joining a grievance competition that just gives the people who are trying to divide the left exactly what they want? It’s how, when the new questions that confuse and divide us just keep coming — What do we say or not say about Ilhan Omar? What about the schism in the Women’s March? What about the Senate bill that would allow state and local governments to withhold contracts from those who boycott Israel that Chuck Schumer supported? — they just get us to go after each other.

Let’s not do that. Sure, maybe this is just another case of me getting older and less able to accept how the world is changing — sort of a, “Damn Nazis, get off my lawn!” type of thing – and maybe I should just go along with this new normal. But that's one thing I know is definitely not me. MoTs like to talk shit out, sometimes too much, but eh. Let’s bring that tradition of analysis and argument — and I mean the kind where you’re forthright and emotional, but you still know how to listen — to bear on the questions we’re having both on the left and in the Jewish community about how we move forward, instead of fleeing back into our fears from the past.

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant: My Opinion on Venom the Character --aka-- The Tragedy of Eddie Brock

Let’s talk about Venom for a second.

With his new solo movie coming out starring the always impeccable Tom Hardy, I think it’s time we discuss everybody’s favorite muscle-bound Spidey villain/ruthless anti-hero, because…I well I say everybody loves him, when that’s not entirely true.

I’ve never really been a big fan of Venom. Specifically as an anti-hero.

I agree with the masses when I say Venom (when written in a certain way) is a great, GREAT villain and near prefect counterpart to Spider-Man to truly challenge him as he is very much the embodiment of his failed responsibilities. (Failure to help Eddie, failure to control the suit and just throwing it away rather than truly destroying it.) However, when placed in the morally gray protagonist role like you would put, say, the Punisher, Venom has always come off as just completely and utterly boring to me. I have never seen nor understood the appeal. He’s just a big, muscly, edgy Spider-Man with a creepy smile that goes on about “WE MUST FEED” or some horseshit that lacks any sort of drama and tension, instead relying on blood and gore to satisfy the crowd.

Now, the reason why I believe this is mainly because I think the most interesting aspects of Venom are lost the instant you put him in that anti-hero role. More specifically, you lose Eddie Brock’s tragedy.

What does that mean? Well, it’s…complicated. In order to find out why—you’ve gotta break down Eddie to his fundamentals as a character and find out what makes him work, before you go in and look at what doesn’t.

Spoilers for the character ahead, and also I should mention that this is all MY opinion. If you love Eddie Brock and wanna disagree with me, you’re free to do so. Just know that I’m not saying EVERYONE IS WRONG AND I AM RIGHT. This is my own personal deal with the character that I felt has bugged me and has finally come to a head that I gotta get off my chest. Good? Good.

Alright, let’s start off with the two building blocks of Venom: Eddie Brock and the Symbiote.

The Symbiote is some space-dimensional-parasite thing that is this thing that feeds off of the emotions of its partner, and then gets a small bit of their emotions that becomes a part of them. Each symbiote, according to new lore, has its own personality and ideas—but the symbiote that fell on our character has had…let’s just say a very VERY difficult couple of previous hosts before Peter Parker ever entered the picture. It lost its mind and became this thing that fed off of one emotion more than any—pure, seething rage. That last part, to me anyway, is the most crucial part of what defines Venom and separates him from the other incarnations like Carnage or something. This suit is fueled by the darkest part of the human id, the place where your darkest fantasies and thoughts that you refuse to give the light of day manifest. As long as dark thoughts exist in your mind, it will gravitate towards them and expand them ten-fold. It’s more than just some black goo that gives you powers—this is a living, breathing thing that cannot be negotiated with, and cannot be controlled. It can only be submitted to.

Eddie Brock is another thing entirely. Many different people have many different takes on the dude, but based off of his different origin stories, and how he’s set up, there is one fundamental item that has always defined him before the suit: tragedy. Eddie Brock has always got the short end of the stick in basically every department. He’s either lost his job, or he’s lost his mentor, or he’s lost his girlfriend—hell, he’s even once lost his future when he discovers that he has a tumor. Whether it’s because of these events, or how he was raised before, all of these things happening to him at once garnered two things within Eddie: contempt. Contempt towards those who got to have the life he’s always wanted but could never have because of *insert reason here.* It also doesn’t help that every decision he’s made to fix his life has always blown up in his face as well by trying to take shortcuts that he’s seen others get away with in the past easily, adding to his pain and suffering. He is, essentially, the one person in all the Marvel universe who can never catch a break. It’s that aspect that honestly makes Eddie Brock more interesting than the symbiote in some capacities. He’s more fleshed out, more humanized and shows just how bad things can go for people in the wake of mistakes that superheroes can make.

Now, for me, it’s when you combine these two where things can get…iffy. Mainly because it’s how you interpret or misinterpret either the symbiote, Eddie, or both that can make or break the character. For me personally, there’s one aspect of Venom that works the best, mainly because it makes the most sense with their characters and motivations. It ain’t the suit, it ain’t the symbiote, but instead Eddie himself. If you stop to think about it, there’s a kind of tragedy surrounding him.

Eddie sought solace in life and was refused time and time again by those around him. And then, at his lowest point, there is only one thing that gives it to him: the symbiote. The symbiote gives him the power that he’s always dreamed of, and lets him finally unleash the rage and contempt that has been boiling in his system for years. And it is ONLY THEN when Spider-Man finally tries to lay down an olive branch. He tries to get Eddie to fight it, to beat it, but by then Eddie is too far gone. Hell, I’d argue that the instant Venom starts to refer to himself in plural, that’s when Eddie truly died. They are better now. They have found peace within themselves. And they don’t need your sympathy. The idea of being told that you can be “saved” becomes a joke to those who were forced to save themselves.

Therein lies the tragedy: It isn’t that Venom isn’t given a chance at redemption, but rather that he refuses it.

When writers play into that effect, and show how depraved and demonic Venom is, and then juxtapose it with the shriveled up husk of a man that is Eddie Brock who only finds peace in becoming that terrifying thing—that’s when the character is firing at all cylinders I think. He becomes this horror show who you can’t help but feel the same amount of pity as you do fear of him. It’s almost a kind of Walter White situation in terms of losing oneself to your alter ego. This is why and how I find Venom fascinating.

But, on the contrary, when you try to put Venom in the different role of anti-hero rather than straight up villain, I draw the line in the sand.

Y’see, a fundamental part of what makes Venom so much of a cool villain is because he can’t escape his tragedy. He is literally bound to it. To make him anything other than an antagonist would go against that tragedy and therefore would go against his character, or completely and fundamentally alter the fabric of the character itself.

For example, say you go the direction of having Eddie try to fight the monster and control his powers. Real Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde style. The issue you’ve got there is that, well, it’s already been done. Peter tried that a looooong time ago. Plus, it wouldn’t work for the character as he’s already accepted the symbiote as part of himself. “We” and all that.

Another example, say you have Eddie attempt to find a kind of redemption arc and finally own up to his responsibilities. While yes, you can have this done where Eddie finally controls his anger and rage and can become a hero…but it has to come at a cost. Looking at this narratively, the one way to finally put it all behind him would be to defeat the thing that is keeping him from becoming human again, and there’s only one item in Brock’s past that does so—the Symbiote. For him to do a proper redemption arc that makes sense for the nature of the symbiote and how Eddie would move forward (and, admittedly, would be a good final note for the character,) he would have to destroy the suit or refuse to put it on again. Essentially, Eddie can be redeemed…but not Venom. If this were to be used, this would have to be Eddie’s swan song before leaving Venom proper.

The final option is, of course, why don’t you do a Punisher-type thing with Venom? He brutally takes out the bad guys that the other dudes won’t have the stomach to. While Venom could express his rage and anger against the right (or in this case ‘wrong’) people, and could provide an interesting issue for supporting heroes to tackle since he’s crossing the line for the right reasons, it’s kind of a one-trick pony. Long term it would fall flat on its face. It would get stale because you’d just see him constantly mowing people down with no consequence and no character development save for the occasional time when Eddie is justifying his actions. It would have to start and then, after a killing spree or two, he would get taken down by the heroes who force him back into a cage. This idea DOES fall in line with Eddie Brock’s tragedy, and admittedly could be done…but without that juxtaposition of Venom brutally murdering gangsters and supervillains with your Iron Men and Spider-Folks trying to maintain justice and order and are forced to take Venom down, it’ll all be lost.

You see where I’m going with this? Every time you try and set up Venom as an anti-hero, it just doesn’t work out that well. You either take away a fundamental part of what makes his character interesting, or you end up losing the character forever. He’s not like Punisher. He’s not like Deadpool. He’s not like, well, any other kind of anti-hero. He’s too much of a beast to be contained. It’s like trying to make the Joker out to be an anti-hero. You can’t. He’s done too many horrible things and would have no real reason to do any modicum of good in his entire life.

(Random hot take: I also don’t particularly care for Agent Venom. He just feels…lame. He has the Venom suit without the insanity of the symbiote or the contempt of Eddie, instead vying for a toned-down Flash Thompson who doesn’t have that strong a personality when put next to not only Venom, but Spidey and even Carnage. Also…really with the guns? You have a SYMBIOTE SUIT that can turn into ANYTHING and you choose GUNS?! That’s REEEEEAAALLY lame.)

Now. With ALL OF THIS BEING SAID. Let’s wrap right back around to the Venom movie.

In my eyes, there is only one real way you could feasibly do a Venom movie. It’s Eddie’s fall from grace and descent into madness. It’s a take on the world of bright super-heroes where even the best of them can’t necessarily save everyone, and create this beast out of your darkest nightmares. Perhaps it can even make a commentary on the collateral damage that super-heroes would have on society (not necessarily the death kind as seen in Civil War, but more of the problems they would create for the little people like Vulture from Homecoming—only expounded by constant tragedy rather than lack of a job.) Due to that, it would be less of a bloody slasher movie as much as a dark psychological thriller. Yes it would mean you wouldn’t necessarily see a LOT of Venom throughout the movie, but it would be something that emphasizes his best features while also being something you haven’t seen before from a super-hero movie.

It’s for this reason that I don’t mind that Venom isn’t in he Venom trailer. Hell, I’m happy he isn’t. Venom isn’t the best part of Venom, it’s Eddie Brock. The symbiote plays a part, yeah. But as a character, Eddie defines it. His growing contempt, his initial fear of giving into his “demons,” his tragic fall from grace, and his eventual acceptance of Venom as the only way to become whole which would THEN lead to the much-anticipated bloodbath. That’s why I’m glad it looks like he’s going to be more of the focus than Venom.

That being said, is the film going to go that direction I want it to? I don’t know. If I were a betting man, I’d say that it’s probably not going to be because of how little he connects to any kind of Marvel Universe due to rights, and how it looks like he’s going to be fighting different kinds of symbiotes with some ‘spooky organization’ that’s probably going to recruit him into being a citizen soldier or something. From what I saw in the trailer, that’s what it looks like. But, that being said, the fact that they focused so heavily on Eddie HOPEFULLY means it’ll be more about his aforementioned descent into madness rather than meaningless blood and gore. I don’t care if they completely change his origins—if they can make something interesting and meaningful then by God: DO IT. Look at what Spectacular Spider-Man did. The show altered Eddie COMPLETELY and made what I consider to be the BEST take on Venom’s character. It’s just the right amount of insanity mixed with the perfect amount of tragedy. 

And at the end of the day, that’s what Venom’s all about: Insanity and Tragedy.

(Again, If you disagree with any or all of what I’ve said, feel free. But know I’m not telling you to feel this way, so don’t go bananas because I spoke my piece on a blog that nobody reads. This is just my personal opinion on the character. Nothing more.)

[moderngirlinthedas]

Why are there so many MGIT fics that have their MGITs paired with Solas? He's an emotionally abusive racist with a superiority complex, yet so many in the fandom find him attractive. He barely registers Dalish as elves so he wouldn't find human MGITs attractive or even consider them real people. So why do so many of you want to pair off with him? It wouldn't be a healthy relationship, even if you end up as an elf. Can you shed some light?

First, I want to say that I’m extremely sorry for how long it took me to answer this.

I had so many directions I wanted to take when answering your question, Anon (far too many, really). I started and stopped many times in a separate word doc, trying to address this in as complete a manner as I could.

But I had too much to say, real life responsibilities got in the way, and suddenly it had been so long that my brain went yikes and shoved it in the back of my thoughts, ever present but easier to skip over.

So I’m going to give this a new shot and hope that my tardiness hasn’t soured you on the whole Asking process because I do love answering questions and opening topics for discussion.

[Disclaimer: The following is an expression of my own opinion, based on my experiences and perception. I will try to present it in an unbiased manner, but I am human and entirely fallible.] 

There are so many MGIT stories with Solas in the main pairing because, to put it simply, he is a fascinating character. (Note: I say fascinating, not morally infallible or intrinsically superior to the other characters).

He is an intelligent, compassionate character who offers a refreshing perspective toward mages, the Fade, and spirits. From the very beginning, he proves to be a font of knowledge for the Inquisitor. He appreciates inquisitiveness and self-examination in a way that is scarcely seen elsewhere.

And yet.

For all his open-mindedness, he can be exceedingly narrow in his views once he has reached a conclusion (i.e. the Dalish, other elves, etc.). He has made mistakes. Catastrophic ones. He believes the ends justify the means in his quest to “correct” his past mistakes. Worse still, he has the knowledge and power to deliver.

And this, all of this just makes him so fascinating. To see what could drive an intelligent, compassionate person to such terrible lengths, to see the limits of such compassion when “the Greater Good” is at stake.

His character is interesting and flawed, repentant even as he manipulates and schemes. A hero and a villain in turns.

But perhaps I’m getting sidetracked. This isn’t about proving why Solas is interesting or dissecting his flaws. That would be another post entirely. This is about why so many of the MGIT writers and their Modern Characters are interested in Solas.

So, let’s take a look at who Solas is:

someone who is from another time

someone who possesses and withholds knowledge about the world, magic, and etc.

someone who struggles with the relative ignorance of the people around him (ex: magic, spirits, ancient Elven society, etc.)

someone who struggles with feeling more “real” than the people around him

someone who attains a position of power/rank in the Inquisition as a valued source of knowledge

someone who uses hidden knowledge to alter events

Now, who else does this sound like?

The Modern Character in Thedas.

Think about it: this trope, particularly when anchored in the Inquisition timeline, tends to feature these key elements:

the Modern Character is from another world/time

the Modern Character has played the Dragon Age games and withholds knowledge about in-game events (and other characters)

the Modern Character struggles with the relative ignorance of the people around her (ex: racism, sexism, unsanitary practices, primitive technology) 

the Modern Character struggles with feeling more “real” than the people around her, in the sense that she is often painfully aware that Dragon Age and the people therein are constructs of a game or potentially figments of her imagination in a coma-induced dream

the Modern Character attains a position of power/rank in the Inquisition, usually as the Inquisitor herself or as a valued adviser

the Modern Character uses their foreknowledge to alter events

Barring some exceptions, Foreknowledge and how one uses it, is one of the biggest themes in the Modern Character in Thedas trope.

Using foreknowledge to alter events, however good the intentions, is a form of manipulation. Every choice is but a ripple in a greater wave. Inaction is a choice in itself, so even if the Modern Character refrains from actively altering events, they can still be held accountable for “allowing” events to proceed unimpeded.

These are real struggles that both the Modern Character and Solas face as people who possess world-changing knowledge and the ability to spark change.

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t…and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.” -Peter Parker

Does this ability always yield altruistic superheroes like Peter Parker here? No. With great power comes great responsibility, not necessarily good choices or a moral compass.

So why is this important?

Because with so much power, forced to hide their origins in a new world that fears and often hates the different, the magical, how alone would the Modern Character feel?

Who else could understand what it’s like to bear that kind of burden? Who else might be willing to even entertain the idea of another world/reality, much less accept someone so different?

Solas.

The Modern Character is playing chess on a whole other board than the rest of Thedas, but so is Solas.

It’s not the same, of course. But it’s enough. Enough to help the Modern Character not feel so alone.

And if that’s not enough, consider this: if you were stuck in another world, desperate to find a way home, who might just have the means to help you?

Phew. That was long-winded.

Now for your questions about attraction!

“He barely registers Dalish as elves so he wouldn’t find human MGITs attractive or even consider them real people. So why do so many of you want to pair off with him?”

It is my understanding that one of the main reasons (if not the only reason) Solas is both gender and race-gated in the game is due to time constraints. His romance was written in the span of a weekend, late in the development of the game. It is easier and less time consuming to write and animate a romance for one specific gender/race (i.e. female/elf), especially for a last minute addition.

There aren’t any moments during in-game dialogue wherein which Solas displays a genuine romantic or sexual preference for a particular gender or race. The flirt options simply aren’t there when the player isn’t a female elf.

This is important to note because this is not the case for the other characters’ romances. Both Dorian and Sera express a genuine romantic/sexual preference for one gender. You have the option to flirt with both Dorian and Cassandra as a female. They both turn you down. You have the option to flirt with both Sera and Cullen as a male. They both turn you down. Cullen, who is also race-gated, will turn down a female-dwarf.

So, in the absence of in-game dialogue that denotes an actual preference, it isn’t unreasonable to think he might not have one.

And thus, it is entirely possible that Solas would find a human from another world romantically and/or sexually attractive.

On the Subject of Realness:

Solas’s perception of “realness” is relative to the people of Thedas. 

[And here we get a little meta]

He considers the people in the present canon to be less real, due to the fact that his actions in his original timeline (the canon’s past) had, in part, caused the current worldstate, which he views as not only a mistake, but a mistake he’s going to rectify.

The people of Thedas, in the present canon, are less real to him because he likely has plans to revert the world back to a previous state, thus erasing the people in the current timeline (much like the Inquisitor does with the Red Lyrium future in the “In Hushed Whispers” quest).

So! Since the Modern Character isn’t a native to Thedas, that perception of “unrealness” doesn’t really apply to them. In fact, in some ways, Solas might even perceive them as more real, if not just as real as himself.

“It wouldn’t be a healthy relationship, even if you end up as an elf.”

How healthy or unhealthy a relationship is depends entirely upon the characters themselves and the way they’re written/portrayed. There’s nothing intrinsically unhealthy about the pairing of the Modern Character and Solas.

Now, if Solas or the Modern Character are depicted as emotionally and/or physically abusive to the other, then you’d be right, it wouldn’t be a healthy relationship.

Not because of who they are, but because of their behavior.

So, to sum up–because I have rambled so much here, wow–

Why are there so many Modern Character/Solas stories?

because Solas is a fascinating, flawed character

because Solas’s experience makes him relatable to the Modern Character

because Solas could make a good ally for an Otherworlder

because arbitrary game mechanics shouldn’t dictate a character’s love life

because “realness” is relative

because the pairing of Solas and a human isn’t inherently unhealthy

And the bonus: Because the Solas romance was extremely popular among Dragon Age gamers, and many of those gamers set out to write a story

And there we have it. The end of a long-winded spiel from me. 

I hope I kept things relatively objective. I appreciate dissecting characters’ motives and exploring their flaws, even when I love them.

You can love or hate Solas (or something in between) and still note his flaws…as well as recognize his more redeeming qualities.

And always remember: to love a character is not to condone all their actions.

[b0gvvitch]

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this. whomstsoever has sent me this ask >:(

but i guess now i gotta

pearl: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Probably Norway. It’s cold, foresty, oceany, fjordy. I’m a fan of Norse mythos but largely it’s just beautiful up there, especially with the northern lights. I’ve always wanted to see them. I’d love hiking and camping out in them scandinavian woodlands. 

sails: describe your perfect partner.

I don’t really like questions like this it’s silly. There’s no perfect partner, everyone got their own charms. Basically I just like a partner to click in some way u kno, thats why you like each other. whether its shared interests or something else. i cant put a concept of perfection on that, its unfair. Esp when you’re polya i feel.

lighthouse: how much makeup do you wear?

not much, usually i only do eyeliner and lipstick if im goin out. sometimes i get a lil extra on my eyes, maybe sum cheek action. idk how foundation and all that works.

shells: would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf?

awooooo i’d hate immortality.

mermaid: most embarrassing moment?

god i honestly dunno how i could pick one. like im tryin to recall specifics but its hard

turquoise: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

there was one time i had a nightmare(????) where i was trapped in a bizarre haunted house and the haunted house itself was my wife’s irl ego extension plush cthulhu, i was trapped inside of them. i don’t have time to explain any of that but bizarre dreams related to this cthulhu plush are actually not uncommon among our close friend group so uhh make of that what you will. 

waves: favourite season and why?

falllll. when it’s actually cold, im in texas, its layers season. love them orange and yellow leafy cronch. such a nice color palette. halloween. some nice foods are in season.

breakers: would you ever consider getting married?

I’m already married!!!

seafoam: describe your ideal summer vacation.

traveling somewhere that is cooler than 85 degrees or at least some nice chill swimming that isn’t packed with people. 

rain: if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet?

capybara!!! unless you count ravens as exotic. which i dont, they’re everywhere. but I’ve loved capybara for vry long time and i’ve known people who have had seemingly happy capybara pets.

sunlight: least favourite song?

god idk this is a hard question there’s a lot of music out there i despise

marine: would you ever consider plastic surgery?

at this moment in time i say nah 

sea glass: what do you consider to be your best physical feature?

uhhh my dimples i guess. people point them out all the time. 

storm: do you like piercings and tattoos? Why or why not?

hell fuckin ya! both. because they’re fuckin cool. 

boardwalk: who is your favourite fictional couple?

cliche goth/tumblr answer here but Morticia and Gomez Addams 

coral: if you had to describe your personality as a food, what would you be and why?

what a weird question uhhh mashed potatoes, easy going, floofy, versatile, nobody hates me for my personality as far as i can tell, and i love potatoes. 

nymph: old-fashioned or modern decor?

a lil bit o both is achievable. 

seawater: scariest movie you’ve ever watched?

this is hard to say cos i don’t scare easily with movies and really specific concepts do, mostly supernatural creep factor and suspense but again still specific. Like growing up Poltergeist freaked me the hell out. Stuff like Alien and Event Horizon are also some movies that got me the most. 

siren: in a fantasy setting, would you be a warrior, rogue or mage?

arcane trickster

tempest: your favourite Pokemon?

so I have most experience with original 150 and i was rly into the legendary birds. 

tropic: what is your least favourite thing about your appearance?

that i got hair growin outta my dang face also my butt chin

aquamarine: describe your dream date.

hmm idk dates are such a dynamic interest. again i can’t pinpoint such a thing. just any nice engaging date with a partner, either goin out 2 eat or a movie or watchin a movie or something together on the internet or somethin. 

brine: gold or silver?

silver. love that argentum.

tidal: what is a colour that best describes your personality?

something dank and purple

azure: what is something that you do that makes you happy?

talkin to or doin stuff with people that i love. any degree of activity therein. just bein around them even.

fog: describe where you think you’ll be in five years.

for sure probably in the PNW somewhere. 

coastline: what is your favourite flower?

daffodil! Anything under that Narcissus genus

shallows: what is your typical Starbucks order?

i couldn’t tell you when the last time I went was

voyage: what are your favourite names?

fuck i dunno. there’s too many names to pick faves

shipwreck: do you have an OC? If so, describe them.

I mean, I have a dozen different D&D characters I’ve written out and played? idk how to narrow that down for ya. But here’s one from a d&d podcast I play in (GHOSTPUNCHER.NET CHECK IT OUT) her name is Elektra and she’s a  wyrd nerdass synth bard and pretty cybergoth/punk and gay and likes tall gals. 

cerulean: do you believe in true love?

i don’t get this question like what would this even mean. what is true love what is false love? you either feel and know you love someone, of varying degrees and ways, or you don’t and you lie to yourself and them for any number of reasons. i guess if we’re talkin about that hyper romance ~one true love soul mate~ kinda stuff, then no i guess not. But I believe in specific kinds of strong love for people.

shoreline: if you could become fluent in another language, which would you pick and why?

Norwegian has always been an interest, it sounds cool, has lots of close ties with origins of English, more than German maybe and it’s a country I’d actually consider moving to. 

tsunami: describe a dream outfit of yours.

idk im not awake enough to give a good description but honestly like Demobaza and Rick Owens kinda shit is def my jam aesthetically. 

riptide: are you introverted or extroverted? Are you happy with this?

I’m capable of like, talking to people and being personable but I’m p introverted, i most often prefer isolation. 

hurricane: describe a strange habit of yours.

im def a twiddler and a rocker idk if stimming type stuff counts. its hard to self-identify weird habits i might have i guess. idk. im so tired of this survey please let me go

[itsanarchivenow]

im gonna put this under a readmore because its going to get long but its just me screaming about she will be loved vs the rest of the songs about jane album

okay so first of all this is following the fact that songs about jane is literally about one girl like a lot of people speculate that because its so nuanced that the ‘jane’s in the songs have to be different ‘jane doe’ figures but that isnt the case at all? 

the artistic beauty of the whole album lies therein too with adam and jane both being entirely different ‘characters’ from one point in their relationship to the next and the way that they were constantly dancing around each other in such intricate patterns

naturally it was hell to live for both of them but im not talkng about the literal relationship between the two being in any way admirable im talking about the conceptual dynamic between them and the way it was immortalized lyrically

she will be loved and the popularity that came out of it is kind of infuriating because it and this love really became the staples of the album and while i dont mind this love as much (aside from being drastically overplayed during the albums second life in like 07) i feel like the capitalization of she will be loved was not only an insult to the spirit of the album but one of if not the single biggest factor in the total downfall of maroon 5s style as a whole post-album

she will be loved reduces the vibrant, fluctuating, explosive relationship between adam and jane to your stereotypical romance film skinny love and not only is everyone in the world absolutely exhausted of that trope to begin with but it doesnt accurately represent the theme of the album at all? and yet it still became that albums face song, the song people think of when they think of songs about jane, because generic boys being sad over generic girls is what sells on the radio

it doesnt have any depth of feeling besides the baseline emotion that everyone on earth can relate to because theres absolutely no specificity (or context in general) and people can take advantage of the utter lack of information present and project however they damn well like! which in some cases is nice but when youre talking about an album like songs about jane where the writer has so delicately placed something so significant to him, the entire tale of the love of his early life, sometimes music isnt about relating to it. sometimes music is about sympathizing for a situation youll never be part of and living that story vicariously through the storyteller and just... appreciating it, like the way you would treasure a novel

isolating she will be loved is so disrespectful to all of the emotion poured into this album because what little you could actually make of the song within the context of the album gets stripped from it and then not only does it not fit into the image of songs about jane but the song fucking sucks my dude

like it sounds great audibly but artistically its just beating a dead horse

she will be loved is not a universal love song. it is not for you to listen to and think about the girl from english class and oh my god if i hear one more person use she will be loved as some kind of friendzone anthem i will eat my own legs

she will be loved is the calm before the storm that constantly gets revisited through the album, being the manifestation of an extremely unhealthy relationship, as the hopeful but pained expression that one day their relationship might become something like it is in the movies if they just try a little harder and forgive a little more and help each other through what hurts them instead of being whats hurting the other

adam is laying himself down after this love, which as you know is about one of the many many many times they break up in episodes of rage, and then shiver (please listen to shiver if you havent heard it because its one of the songs that gets tragically overlooked) which is essentially the tension fueled makeup sex track and it literally opens with him being aware of her (their) hot and cold behavior but wanting to make up for it and ‘find a way to her heart’

the shiver vibe is mostly fast tempo heat of passion but she will be loved is the emotional followup - you could even venture to call it the straight up aftercare. where adam is trying to piece together the fragments of their relationship, whatever it takes (AGAIN) and move on because he genuinely loves this girl and he wants to work for her. he knows the nuances of her personality down to the bone and he knows that what they have isnt good but he wants to make it good because all drama aside shes important to him and he thinks that what they have, or at least what they could have, is worth the struggle

it isnt a skinny love story. its a crucial part of a persistent pattern of abuse, and then its followed by tangled which is literally ‘why cant we escape this cycle’. they recognize that theyre incompatible and for the most part dont even really like each other (or themselves) as human beings but the fact that they feel like theyre both getting what they deserve is part of why they stay entranced and consequently drive themselves to dissect themselves further and dig the grave deeper and. well it isnt called a cycle for nothing kids

but its the one song that doesnt embody the real human beings behind the album as much as much more idealistic versions of themselves in a simplified and still idealistic if sad scenario that took off on this album

and you know what came out of the capital success of that song?

maroon 5 abandoning their entire brand and turning into a radio hit producing bubblegum pop machine churning generic, emotionless love songs out for the mass public and catering to the fucking kiddy demographic of all things. from punch to the gut true to life tearjerking thematics and a classic, iconic sound to songs like sugar

i still like maroon 5s music to a degree but i wish they could have stuck with the principle behind songs about jane and even before they were maroon 5 and still producing music as kara’s flowers on like, the fourth world. the fourth world has a little bit of a predated simple plan type vibe but considering they were just kids when they made it? it has so much more emotional weight than any of their new content

the thing about unprofessional music is that its written as an expression and not as something designed to make money and while i cant blame maroon 5 for selling out (because with the kind of money they make now anyone who says they wouldnt do the same thing is absolutely lying) i am pretty disappointed in the loss of spirit that used to be so visceral in the early days

it was damn good entertainment and the work behind it was incredible and deserves so much more credit than it got and i cant help but think about where they would be now if it were the sun or not coming home that got the radio recognition that she will be loved got still authentic? still acutely critical?  a dog can dream!!!

[sanctus-artopodus]

1500odd words of super self-indulgent, unproofread, unbeta’d OC shipping

The night was cool enough to push uncomfortable, but not unbearable. Coupled with the lack of light from the sky, the guards huddled closer to their fire. They spoke quietly to each other about nothing in particular and shifted their weapons and weight to be more comfortable. They lived in a time of peace. They weren’t particularly worried about anything happening to the palace. Besides, they couldn’t see past the small ring of light their small fire afforded them.

Due to all of these factors, they didn’t notice the dark shadow slinking along the tree line. They also didn’t notice the light reflecting off its red eyes as it watched them, waiting.

And when the guards decided to head back five minutes before shirt change, they certainly didn’t notice how the shadow took a running leap at the wall to begin its climb up with single-minded determination.

The king—and how strange it was to finally be addressed as such—could have been considered odd by some. His ascension to the throne had been long anticipated and celebrated joyously, but there was still something strange about a man who had removed all but the outermost doors to his chambers. Himself. He had instead put curtains of various thicknesses up and kept them tied open most of the time.

The curtains at his balcony, the one in his bedroom, were not tied open. Instead, they shifted lazily in the cool night air. The young king had moved his desk to be on the same wall as the balcony. He liked being able to look up and see the sky without having to turn around. And at that same desk he sat, rereading a letter deemed more personal than political when he heard someone climbing up onto his balcony.

He waited, listening. Whoever was on his balcony did the same.

On the chance that it was one of his brothers sneaking home exceptionally past curfew, the king made quite a noisy show at his desk as if he were absorbed in looking for something that had fallen under the desk.

On the more likely chance that it was not one of his brothers, he held his letter opener in the most functionally correct way to stab someone.

The person on the balcony did nothing until the king was settled back in his chair. His ears strained to catch any sound he could, eyes trained on the papers on his desk. The intruder moved quietly through the shuffling curtains, stopping behind the king’s back.

The king sent his chair toppling over as he whipped around, knife already heading toward the stranger’s throat.

He stopped abruptly when he realized he was eye level with a flower.

Teo laughed, his mask already around his neck.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you that badly.” Teo did not sound sorry.

Triton’s shoulders sagged as he sighed and tossed the letter opener back onto his desk.

“Why didn’t you come in through the main gates? The staff knows to let you in.”

“Aw, but where’s the fun in just being let it? If I’d come in through the main gates, I would have been announced and then everyone in the kingdom would watch me walk right to you bedroom.”

“And if you’d been caught climbing up to my bedroom instead?”

“Then you’d bail be out in the morning and we’d probably be having this same conversation. Except you would have already won.”

Triton fought back a smile. He still wanted to be a little angry. “I could have really hurt you just now you know.”

“We both know it will take a lot more than office supplies to do me in.” Teo winked with his scarred eye, offering the king his flower again.

He finally looked at the flower and frowned.

“Did you pick this from our gardens?”

“Well, technically yes,” Teo’s smile faltered slightly, “The thing is, I was bringing you home some seeds from some interesting plants I saw down south, but um.”

“Um?”

“Myko ate them. And I didn’t want to come here empty handed so I may have picked one of your flowers. But! It matches your eyes. So…”

Triton laughed. He laughed and took the flower that did indeed match his eyes and set it on his desk. He laughed as he finally moved in to Teo’s embrace.

They kissed once, twice. A few more times.

“I got your letter a few days ago. I thought it said you wouldn’t be home for two weeks.”

“Yeah? I sent it two weeks ago.”

Triton stopped his gentle caresses of Teo’s face.

“This is why you’re supposed to date you letters.”

“Why would I do that? I’d rather date you.”

They both laughed again, tripping as Triton went to move away from his lover’s jokes while Teo tried to pull him closer. They kissed where they fell.

~*~

They lay tangled together in the aftermath. The sky was still dark, with dawn many hours away. The lovers had closed the canopy around their bed instead of forcing themselves to part long enough to fasten the curtains at the balcony shut.

“Hey,” Teo said into the darkness, “did I ever tell you about the time I—“

“—leapt across a river with a goblin? Yes.” Triton answered while tracing patterns into Teo’s sternum. “Tell me again.”

~*~

In the morning, they helped each other get ready for the day. Or, to be more accurate, Triton brushed Teo’s hair, and Teo made as much of a nuisance of himself as he could manage while he did Triton’s hair, makeup, and clothes, sneaking kisses as often as he could. One of them was still a king and had to look like it.

With one final kiss, the king left to begin his day of ruling his people and all the tedium therein.

Teo went back to bed.

~*~

Triton was much too responsible to play hooky. He did, however, decide to make it a half day. After a quick trip into the kitchen, he took a lunch for two back to his chambers. The staff was too responsible to say anything, but the chef made a mental note to prepare a plate for one more at dinner.

Teo was still in bed when Triton came up with lunch. He happily tossed the book he was reading aside to greet him at the door. They ate in the floor, laughing and chatting and enjoying each other’s company again.

They pulled more pillows and cushions into the floor after they cleared the dishes from lunch away to continue their cuddling.

They dozed contentedly for a time. Triton became restless before too long. Teo teased him sleepily, but Triton eventually detangled himself.

“Wait here.” He said.

There was literally nowhere else Teo would rather be.

He came back with a small box in his hands. They were shaking. Teo sat up, fully awake.

“I, uh, asked the twins for help with this so, hopefully I don’t do anything wrong. They didn’t say if there was a specific style I was supposed to use. I just tried for something nice.”

He managed to open the box. It was a pair of earrings, made from precious white gold and a reddish-pink gemstone set into the bottom of the teardrop shape. Teo was pretty sure he had stopped breathing. Or was dreaming. Or both.

“The, the gem matches your eyes,” Triton continued on. “I saw them and thought of you. They’re probably too flashy for you to wear all the time so maybe we can pick something else out later. Together. I mean, if you want to. I don’t, um, I don’t know what else to say. So, um, will you do me the honor of joining my family?”

Teo definitely wasn’t breathing now. He could think of 10,001 reasons why he should say no. He was no good for Triton and he knew it. They both knew it. The whole kingdom, the whole world knew it. He forced himself to take a breath.

“Triton, I,” his voice cracked, “I’d really like that. Yes. Please, yes.”

“Really!? Yes!?” Triton’s face was going to be sore later from the size of his smile.

“Really, yes.”

They kissed again, laughing as tears dripped down Teo’s face, Triton half vibrating with excitement. Their hands shook as Teo told his fiancé about the proper engagement rites and rituals of his people. The weight of their new bond settled comfortably, neither one being able to keep himself from touching it for long.

~*~

They managed to break apart long enough to make themselves presentable for dinner. Teo was well received by excited royal siblings. Although there were more than a few curious and pointed glances at their new matching accessories, no one was quite brave enough to ask.

They retired at a respectable time, knowing they would have to make an announcement soon. But soon was not now, and they had their whole lives ahead of them.

~*~

“Hey, wait. Is this just your way of keeping me from climbing in through the window anymore?”

[nancygduarteus]

I Spent $925 on a Fake Canada Goose Coat

My old winter coat was a joke. I bought it on sale at a discount department store five years ago for around $70, and it has never really done what a winter coat is supposed to do. The wind whipped through it. The shell soaked up snow. The thin feather insulation constantly poked out.

Up until a few months ago, I’d never had the extra padding in my writer’s budget to dream of extra padding in my coat, let alone to purchase a new one. But then I had some unusual luck selling words. So when I came down with a cold one particularly chilly December morning, I boiled a cup of tea, blew my nose, wrapped myself in a blanket, and decided enough is enough. I’m 52 years old. If I’m lucky, I have another 30 years or more on this periodically frigid rock. Amortized over the course of what’s left of me, a well-made, long-lasting winter coat made both economic and health sense, I told myself.

I did a little research. Time and again, the Canada Goose Kensington came up as the 2018 editors’ choice for the best winter jacket for women. Yes, that Canada Goose—one of the most expensive coats out there, costing more than twice my first weekly salary in New York. There’s even a tumblr called “Canada Douche.” Normally, I scoff at the absurd excesses of luxury goods. But a Canada Goose jacket was not, I reasoned, a $250 Supreme sweatshirt that hipsters line up behind police-guarded barricades to purchase or a Birkin bag that starts at the price of a Nissan Versa. This was a quality winter coat made by a no-frills company whose first jackets, back in 1957, were meant for Canadian government employees who work outside in extreme temperatures. It remains the outerwear of choice for researchers working in the Antarctic.

I divided the price tag—$925, good lord!—by 30. It came out to a little less than $31 a year. I could always bequeath it to my daughter, who wears the same size, if I croaked before 82. The first outdoor-gear site I tried didn’t have my size. The Canada Goose site was sold out as well. So I did what almost any internet-connected American consumer would do: I went on Amazon and typed in “Canada Goose Kensington.” There I found the motherlode of Kensington jackets in many sizes, all available through a seller listed as “by Canada Goose,” which I assumed was the company itself.

This is where my story goes from wild Goose chase to goosed.

I chose dark green (“volcano,” they called it) in size small, placed it in my cart, and then spent two more days debating whether or not to pull the trigger. Aside from my children’s college educations, monthly rent, various medical procedures, and a few pieces of long-lasting furniture, I don’t generally spend that kind of money. I don’t own a home. I’ve never owned a car. Could I really walk around with that white Canada Goose patch on my arm? Maybe I could just cut it off.

One of my favorite activities is crossing the Williamsburg Bridge into Manhattan on foot, a windy journey on even the sunniest day. The coat would be an investment in my own warmth and physical well-being, even if I never travel to the South Pole.

Click! Buy.

The author’s counterfeit Canada Goose Kensington jacket (Deborah Copaken)

I had zero buyer’s remorse until the next day, when I got the confirmation email with the tracking information. My new Canada Goose coat was on its way from Singapore, by way of Hong Kong. Wait, what? Wasn’t the whole point that the coats were made in Canada? I checked the small print, and the seller of my coat was no longer listed as Canada Goose, but someone called Greg Adamserft. I clicked on the name, which took me to an Amazon seller’s page. At that point, Adamserft had only three reviews, all with five stars. (Now, weeks later, the page is riddled with one-star complaints.)

When the coat arrived, it was army green instead of the forest green I ordered. It was heavy, not lightweight. It didn’t fit. It smelled of chemicals. And the white Canada Goose patch? It looked off; it’s the patch on the right at the top of this article. On Canada Goose’s website, a page dedicated to the dangers of counterfeiting explains that every one of their products has a hologram label with a polar-bear image, a proof of authenticity. With a $925 pit in my stomach, I checked my coat. It had a hologram sewn into the seam but, sure enough, no polar bear.

[Read: Amazon may have a counterfeit problem]

Canada Goose’s website also had a search tool where you could type in the url of an online retailer, to check if it’s an authorized dealer. I typed in “amazon.com.” Immediately a big red X appeared: “This is not an authorized online retailer.”

I should have expected this. Amazon is rarely an authorized retailer of any specific brand. Instead, the platform allows individuals and companies to sell whatever brands they carry, a practice that makes the site largely the modern-day equivalent of a pneumatic-tube system through which sellers can zip off their products to buyers. By U.S. law, e-commerce sites such as Amazon and eBay are generally not responsible for what’s inside those whizzing cylinders, so long as they have procedures in place for dealing with complaints of counterfeits.

A glaring downside to this arrangement is that it has has inadvertently provided cover, in plain sight, for bad actors worldwide to create multiple digital storefronts selling counterfeit goods. When these people are caught and shut down, they can often pop up again under a different name. Today’s Greg Adamserft can easily become tomorrow’s Adam Gregserft in an endless game of online whack a mole. Often, the victims are people like me: those who might have been around long enough to use a pneumatic-tube metaphor, but who are generally unfamiliar with how sites like Amazon work in the first place.

A representative at Amazon I contacted for this story seemed surprised I would not know that the site itself is rarely the seller. I was surprised that she would not know I would not know this. Or that I would not understand that when a coat appears to be sold “by Canada Goose” itself, it’s not. And therein lies the rub. While plenty of consumers understand the rules of online engagement and are wary of fishy-looking third-party sellers, there are still many of us who once shared our first email addresses with our spouses—because why would you ever need your own email?—and fall right into the traps the counterfeiters leave for us.

The Canada Goose counterfeit page included a link to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Center along with an email address that lead me to Barry Elliott of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s Criminal Intelligence Analytical Unit. I sent him photos of my coat, and he sent me a new email the next morning at dawn: Canada Goose had confirmed my jacket was a fraud. I contacted the account for Greg Adamserft (I assume that’s not the account holder’s real name) via Amazon’s messaging system with Elliott’s findings, and Adamserft refunded my money. Adamserft did not respond to a later interview request.

The tag on the author’s counterfeit jacket has an incorrect hyphen in Canada Goose’s web address. (Deborah Copaken)

I wish I could say that was the end of it, but my Kafkaesque attempts to safeguard others from my misstep reflected just how difficult fraud monitoring can be online. Shortly after receiving my coat, I wrote a one-star review titled, “Do not buy a coat from Greg Adamserft!!!! He's selling counterfeits!!!!” This was was rejected for not adhering to Amazon’s guidelines. So I wrote another with fewer exclamation points: “Canadian police confirm this man is selling fakes.” This one was allegedly accepted on January 8, but it still has not appeared on the product page. (An Amazon spokesperson explained that, regarding the first review, Amazon does not accept reviews on product pages that are critical of sellers, only of products. As for the second review, the team says it is still looking into why it has not been posted.)

Meanwhile, between the time I received my counterfeit coat until the day I presented myself to the company as a journalist, Adamserft was still selling coats, even as the other one-star reviews flooded his seller’s page warning of fraud. Now, Adamserft’s  privileges have been revoked, according to Amazon. The page associated with the seller’s name is still up, as is the page with the coats, but when you try to buy one, a note appears in place of the “Add to Cart” button: “Currently unavailable. We don’t know when or if this item will be back in stock.”

In a statement, Amazon said it has many processes in place to combat counterfeit products, including machine learning, automated systems, dedicated teams of software engineers, research scientists, program managers, and investigators. According to the company, more than 99 percent of Amazon pages customers visit have not received notices of potential infringement.

[Read: Knockoff appeal: counterfeits can boost sales of the real thing]

Counterfeiting is far from an Amazon issue alone. Elliott, who helps run Project Chargeback, a collaboration between the Canadian Anti-Fraud Center, credit-card companies, and banks, calls the fakery not only of luxury goods but also of strollers, tools, generators, and so much more a “huge problem worldwide” across e-commerce sites. “We have assisted over 40 thousand victims mainly from Canada and recovered approximately $15 million since January 2013 when we started Project Chargeback,” Elliott says. He reports that his team has also identified about 12,000 merchant accounts linked to four banks in China, one of which just lost their VISA privileges permanently.

That’s all on top of plain old credit-card fraud—scams that charge you multiple times or simply don’t deliver what you ordered. On the plus side, Elliott notes, if you use a credit card to pay for counterfeit goods, you should be guaranteed a refund when a product is verified as fake. “Only a small percentage of the public is aware of this,” he says.

According to Elliott, his office for Project ChargeBack in Ontario and the London City Police are the only criminal investigators in the world working directly with defrauded customers and banks to combat the online sale of counterfeit goods. There are some organizations, such as the National Intellectual Property Rights Coordination Center in the United States, that help various law-enforcement agencies work with companies themselves to protect their intellectual property. But that’s not the same as having a dedicated anti-counterfeit agency dealing directly with consumers and banks to recoup their losses. “Other countries have shown interest, but have not started up, including the U.S.,” Elliott says.

Earlier this month, on an unusually cold and windy day, I walked across the Williamsburg bridge in the new $126.98 coat I purchased to replace my fake Canada Goose, after a friend who owns one told me that it was “warm enough.” After crossing into Manhattan, feeling both snug and smug over having saved $800 that can now go to my youngest’s college fund, I wandered through SoHo, where I came upon a long, police-guarded line to get into a store. Must be another Supreme store, I thought. But upon closer inspection, no. It was Canada Goose. Because of course it was.

The store was packed. The line to get in was at least 40 minutes long. The temperature was hovering in the high 20s with gusty winds. For a moment, I was tempted to wait in that line and try on a real Canada Goose. To ask them if I might take that coat outside, if only for a minute, and feel what it would be like, on a frigid January day, to be completely enveloped in Arctic Circle-tested, super lightweight, wind and snow-resistant goose down.

But no, I said to myself. This is not Antarctica. Or even Canada or Chicago. It’s New York City. And in the new coat I’ve bought—on Amazon, of course—I’m warm enough to keep walking.

from Health News And Updates https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2019/01/counterfeit-canada-goose-amazon/581041/?utm_source=feed

[ionecoffman]

I Spent $925 on a Fake Canada Goose Coat

My old winter coat was a joke. I bought it on sale at a discount department store five years ago for around $70, and it has never really done what a winter coat is supposed to do. The wind whipped through it. The shell soaked up snow. The thin feather insulation constantly poked out.

Up until a few months ago, I’d never had the extra padding in my writer’s budget to dream of extra padding in my coat, let alone to purchase a new one. But then I had some unusual luck selling words. So when I came down with a cold one particularly chilly December morning, I boiled a cup of tea, blew my nose, wrapped myself in a blanket, and decided enough is enough. I’m 52 years old. If I’m lucky, I have another 30 years or more on this periodically frigid rock. Amortized over the course of what’s left of me, a well-made, long-lasting winter coat made both economic and health sense, I told myself.

I did a little research. Time and again, the Canada Goose Kensington came up as the 2018 editors’ choice for the best winter jacket for women. Yes, that Canada Goose—one of the most expensive coats out there, costing more than twice my first weekly salary in New York. There’s even a tumblr called “Canada Douche.” Normally, I scoff at the absurd excesses of luxury goods. But a Canada Goose jacket was not, I reasoned, a $250 Supreme sweatshirt that hipsters line up behind police-guarded barricades to purchase or a Birkin bag that starts at the price of a Nissan Versa. This was a quality winter coat made by a no-frills company whose first jackets, back in 1957, were meant for Canadian government employees who work outside in extreme temperatures. It remains the outerwear of choice for researchers working in the Antarctic.

I divided the price tag—$925, good lord!—by 30. It came out to a little less than $31 a year. I could always bequeath it to my daughter, who wears the same size, if I croaked before 82. The first outdoor-gear site I tried didn’t have my size. The Canada Goose site was sold out as well. So I did what almost any internet-connected American consumer would do: I went on Amazon and typed in “Canada Goose Kensington.” There I found the motherlode of Kensington jackets in many sizes, all available through a seller listed as “by Canada Goose,” which I assumed was the company itself.

This is where my story goes from wild Goose chase to goosed.

I chose dark green (“volcano,” they called it) in size small, placed it in my cart, and then spent two more days debating whether or not to pull the trigger. Aside from my children’s college educations, monthly rent, various medical procedures, and a few pieces of long-lasting furniture, I don’t generally spend that kind of money. I don’t own a home. I’ve never owned a car. Could I really walk around with that white Canada Goose patch on my arm? Maybe I could just cut it off.

One of my favorite activities is crossing the Williamsburg Bridge into Manhattan on foot, a windy journey on even the sunniest day. The coat would be an investment in my own warmth and physical well-being, even if I never travel to the South Pole.

Click! Buy.

The author’s counterfeit Canada Goose Kensington jacket (Deborah Copaken)

I had zero buyer’s remorse until the next day, when I got the confirmation email with the tracking information. My new Canada Goose coat was on its way from Singapore, by way of Hong Kong. Wait, what? Wasn’t the whole point that the coats were made in Canada? I checked the small print, and the seller of my coat was no longer listed as Canada Goose, but someone called Greg Adamserft. I clicked on the name, which took me to an Amazon seller’s page. At that point, Adamserft had only three reviews, all with five stars. (Now, weeks later, the page is riddled with one-star complaints.)

When the coat arrived, it was army green instead of the forest green I ordered. It was heavy, not lightweight. It didn’t fit. It smelled of chemicals. And the white Canada Goose patch? It looked off; it’s the patch on the right at the top of this article. On Canada Goose’s website, a page dedicated to the dangers of counterfeiting explains that every one of their products has a hologram label with a polar-bear image, a proof of authenticity. With a $925 pit in my stomach, I checked my coat. It had a hologram sewn into the seam but, sure enough, no polar bear.

[Read: Amazon may have a counterfeit problem]

Canada Goose’s website also had a search tool where you could type in the url of an online retailer, to check if it’s an authorized dealer. I typed in “amazon.com.” Immediately a big red X appeared: “This is not an authorized online retailer.”

I should have expected this. Amazon is rarely an authorized retailer of any specific brand. Instead, the platform allows individuals and companies to sell whatever brands they carry, a practice that makes the site largely the modern-day equivalent of a pneumatic-tube system through which sellers can zip off their products to buyers. By U.S. law, e-commerce sites such as Amazon and eBay are generally not responsible for what’s inside those whizzing cylinders, so long as they have procedures in place for dealing with complaints of counterfeits.

A glaring downside to this arrangement is that it has has inadvertently provided cover, in plain sight, for bad actors worldwide to create multiple digital storefronts selling counterfeit goods. When these people are caught and shut down, they can often pop up again under a different name. Today’s Greg Adamserft can easily become tomorrow’s Adam Gregserft in an endless game of online whack a mole. Often, the victims are people like me: those who might have been around long enough to use a pneumatic-tube metaphor, but who are generally unfamiliar with how sites like Amazon work in the first place.

A representative at Amazon I contacted for this story seemed surprised I would not know that the site itself is rarely the seller. I was surprised that she would not know I would not know this. Or that I would not understand that when a coat appears to be sold “by Canada Goose” itself, it’s not. And therein lies the rub. While plenty of consumers understand the rules of online engagement and are wary of fishy-looking third-party sellers, there are still many of us who once shared our first email addresses with our spouses—because why would you ever need your own email?—and fall right into the traps the counterfeiters leave for us.

The Canada Goose counterfeit page included a link to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Center along with an email address that lead me to Barry Elliott of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s Criminal Intelligence Analytical Unit. I sent him photos of my coat, and he sent me a new email the next morning at dawn: Canada Goose had confirmed my jacket was a fraud. I contacted the account for Greg Adamserft (I assume that’s not the account holder’s real name) via Amazon’s messaging system with Elliott’s findings, and Adamserft refunded my money. Adamserft did not respond to a later interview request.

The tag on the author’s counterfeit jacket has an incorrect hyphen in Canada Goose’s web address. (Deborah Copaken)

I wish I could say that was the end of it, but my Kafkaesque attempts to safeguard others from my misstep reflected just how difficult fraud monitoring can be online. Shortly after receiving my coat, I wrote a one-star review titled, “Do not buy a coat from Greg Adamserft!!!! He's selling counterfeits!!!!” This was was rejected for not adhering to Amazon’s guidelines. So I wrote another with fewer exclamation points: “Canadian police confirm this man is selling fakes.” This one was allegedly accepted on January 8, but it still has not appeared on the product page. (An Amazon spokesperson explained that, regarding the first review, Amazon does not accept reviews on product pages that are critical of sellers, only of products. As for the second review, the team says it is still looking into why it has not been posted.)

Meanwhile, between the time I received my counterfeit coat until the day I presented myself to the company as a journalist, Adamserft was still selling coats, even as the other one-star reviews flooded his seller’s page warning of fraud. Now, Adamserft’s  privileges have been revoked, according to Amazon. The page associated with the seller’s name is still up, as is the page with the coats, but when you try to buy one, a note appears in place of the “Add to Cart” button: “Currently unavailable. We don’t know when or if this item will be back in stock.”

In a statement, Amazon said it has many processes in place to combat counterfeit products, including machine learning, automated systems, dedicated teams of software engineers, research scientists, program managers, and investigators. According to the company, more than 99 percent of Amazon pages customers visit have not received notices of potential infringement.

[Read: Knockoff appeal: counterfeits can boost sales of the real thing]

Counterfeiting is far from an Amazon issue alone. Elliott, who helps run Project Chargeback, a collaboration between the Canadian Anti-Fraud Center, credit-card companies, and banks, calls the fakery not only of luxury goods but also of strollers, tools, generators, and so much more a “huge problem worldwide” across e-commerce sites. “We have assisted over 40 thousand victims mainly from Canada and recovered approximately $15 million since January 2013 when we started Project Chargeback,” Elliott says. He reports that his team has also identified about 12,000 merchant accounts linked to four banks in China, one of which just lost their VISA privileges permanently.

That’s all on top of plain old credit-card fraud—scams that charge you multiple times or simply don’t deliver what you ordered. On the plus side, Elliott notes, if you use a credit card to pay for counterfeit goods, you should be guaranteed a refund when a product is verified as fake. “Only a small percentage of the public is aware of this,” he says.

According to Elliott, his office for Project ChargeBack in Ontario and the London City Police are the only criminal investigators in the world working directly with defrauded customers and banks to combat the online sale of counterfeit goods. There are some organizations, such as the National Intellectual Property Rights Coordination Center in the United States, that help various law-enforcement agencies work with companies themselves to protect their intellectual property. But that’s not the same as having a dedicated anti-counterfeit agency dealing directly with consumers and banks to recoup their losses. “Other countries have shown interest, but have not started up, including the U.S.,” Elliott says.

Earlier this month, on an unusually cold and windy day, I walked across the Williamsburg bridge in the new $126.98 coat I purchased to replace my fake Canada Goose, after a friend who owns one told me that it was “warm enough.” After crossing into Manhattan, feeling both snug and smug over having saved $800 that can now go to my youngest’s college fund, I wandered through SoHo, where I came upon a long, police-guarded line to get into a store. Must be another Supreme store, I thought. But upon closer inspection, no. It was Canada Goose. Because of course it was.

The store was packed. The line to get in was at least 40 minutes long. The temperature was hovering in the high 20s with gusty winds. For a moment, I was tempted to wait in that line and try on a real Canada Goose. To ask them if I might take that coat outside, if only for a minute, and feel what it would be like, on a frigid January day, to be completely enveloped in Arctic Circle-tested, super lightweight, wind and snow-resistant goose down.

But no, I said to myself. This is not Antarctica. Or even Canada or Chicago. It’s New York City. And in the new coat I’ve bought—on Amazon, of course—I’m warm enough to keep walking.

Article source here:The Atlantic

[violetsystems]

 #personal

I don’t think anybody expected me to go out last night.  I’m not really connected enough anymore on social media to know what there was to do really.  There were a full set of keys to my apartment and facilities.  I started off the New Year three loads of laundry lighter.  The laundry room is directly below the stairs to my apartment.  I’ve been walking three blocks with a suitcase for months to do my wash.  Back and forth.  I got really good at rolling that suitcase around.  Ironically I’m not bringing much of any baggage to New York next weekend.  Metaphysically speaking or otherwise.  I spent most of last night thinking about what I was going to wear.  I bought a lot of nice clothes this year on the low mostly from resellers.  The fact I have two options for a jacket is a focal point for me.  I was wearing that Nike Puffa on a particularly warm day last week.  I caught up with a friend who is a bike messenger on a leisurely long walk home from work.  They commented how my jacket must have been warm on a day like this.  It didn’t feel hostile but more a matter of fact.  I looked at the weather yesterday.  I look at it every day mostly from when I used to fixate on whether I could take the weather outside enough to run.  It’ll be in the mid forties all next weekend.  The last thing I want to do is walk around New York looking overheated and thirsty.  The thirstiness at this point is inevitable.  But these are the minutia I have the luxury of stressing about when it comes to a weekend getaway by myself at the turn of the year.  My dad texted me at nine with one of those fireworks messages.  That was about the only text I got.  Everybody knows I only pay attention to my dash here when it comes to meaningful social engagement.  I definitely didn’t wake up this morning regretting much of anything other than my choice of gym routine yesterday.  I decided to take today off maybe much in the same thought process as that Puffa jacket.  It’s kind of a tired look under the circumstances of today.  My apartment is the cleanest and most organized it has ever been.  I spent all yesterday filing vinyl from my collection.  It sounds more pretentious than it was.  But I was alone and it was peaceful.  Imagine if you were away from someone you loved and it tore you apart every minute.  Now imagine if it tore you apart for an entire six months.  I’ve never heard of the opposite being true until it occurred to me.  I’m the one sitting here six months later at a very different point of my life.  At least all my DNA is present and accounted for as we start the new year.  I am very much the same Tim with the same feelings on the Internet.  Let’s give it up for consistency.

I have been watching a lot of movies over vacation.  Mostly just purchasing stuff I’ve wanted to see.  A lot of modern and contemporary science fiction lately has been favorite.  I watched Annihilation last night.  A larger mystery has been why I enjoy that specifically in my own home.  How I got a couch in here in the first place?  How I have a larger tv to watch them with?  How I have time set aside to enjoy them without feeling like my life is spiraling out of control?  I have a job.  You would think people would understand that is how you afford all these things.  That you actually have to put in work to receive the money to make those purchases.  There’s probably other ways.  But mine is fairly predictable with a fair amount of benefits.  Particularly a whole week off and six more weeks of vacation to take before July.  Last year around April I went to Asia probably for the last time in awhile by myself.  I learned a lot from that trip.  More than I particularly bargained for maybe back then.  But knowing what I know now, maybe I learned how to better focus myself.  I know now at least how many years I’ve been trying to get back to center.  I know how much at peace I am when I close the door.  Now that I have keys.  All of them.  How did I lose them in the first place?  Why did it take so long to get them?  Why did I get hustled out of my Christmas and Birthday money to get a copy?  Was it worth it?  All of this?  Does anybody really know at the end of the day how much I sacrificed this year let alone the last two?  The answer is yes.  Many people do.  One person in particular probably knows it much clearer than anybody else.  I care about that person enough to know they understand the weight of that.  Why I act like I do?  Why I make these decisions and move quietly.  Why people who think they understand me never have a clue.  The heaviness that follows me everywhere I go these days.  I haven’t really suffered all that much under the weight of it.  Sometimes it’s like an invisible pressure around your shoulders nestled deep into your neck.  You stretch with it.  Stand up straighter against it and it coils around you tighter.  You can’t escape your fate this much we’ve come to know from life.  When something mirrors everything you do out of sight like a shadow.  How much of it is planned and how much of it is magic and chaos?  It depends on the environment.  And home alone on New Year’s Day there’s a lot of things I can control without leaving my house.  Particularly how positive I am about how hard I try and how disappointed I am nobody within a fifty mile radius has the capacity to care.

Maybe it isn’t all that unlike being trapped under a dome.  There’s a lot of subtext to that movie I enjoy very much.  The fact that the main character manages to hold it together literally and why.  The echoes of relationships in the movie that are both human and inhuman at the same time.  The blur between people’s acceptance of their fate being positive or negative.  When Tessa Thompson’s character vanishes in such a nuanced way, you understand that fate and change is inevitable.  At the end, who is facing who exactly.  Who is the real enemy?  What will we be remade into post Annihilation?  I swear I’m not trying to make this post a parable for you to quit drinking or anything.  What people turned into was largely based on the chaos of evolution through a prism.  The scene where they are being hunted by something that has the power to throw their friend’s voice  is particularly disturbing poetry.  How we can’t be sure if that’s a memory, a part of their friend, or a manipulation to evoke a reaction from it’s prey.  In the end, what holds us together in this nightmare world is our consistency.  Our love for each other and our capacity to understand the subtext in this blur.  In an era that flaunts the term post truth like it’s a revelation, we all know reality is subjective.  People lie.  People warp their own narratives of people, places and things.  History vanishes and mutates.  Scenes fade out and in like passing tides.  What keeps pushing me forward has been my own account of events.  My own narrative.   One largely here that has been pretty open and transparent to a point.  My own dreams and desires that I refract out into the world much like a prism and all the mutant and alien perspectives form therein. But there’s a wall of intimacy there nobody seems to be able to cross.  It’s intentional.  It’s how I express my love and intimacy.  And it’s behind a physical door where I sleep and dream every night.  One where the peace and quiet speaks volumes to me.  My apartment is much like this blog sometimes.  I’m trapped in an echo chamber.  Being alone this year with my thoughts and dreams didn’t feel so far away at all.  I spent a lot of time making coffee here in the kitchen every morning thinking about what it would take.  To be good enough.  Whether or not I was happy resigning myself to this fate that’s already been in motion nearly half of 2018.  I’ve held it all together pretty well.  I’ll keep holding it together here at the lighthouse.  At least my DNA is all present and accounted for.  That’s a really positive way to start 2019.  It means my love for you is just the same as it was last year.  And it’s locked behind these doors for the foreseeable future.  And I have the keys.  Only you have the keys to my heart.  I’m going to keep my genomes in a safe place for the time being.  Off the internet, out of public and safe here under the dome.  If you can’t follow the light.  Just be the lighthouse.  I hear they have some crazy dance battles in there.  <3 Tim

[ocibojevena]

Is Cosplay an Absurd Fantasy Or Creative Self-Expression?

Is usually cosplay a cool activity to hone imaginative self-expression or perhaps a nerdy and pricey solution to escape pressures regarding the world? Is to do an individual care either way?

CosPlay 101 for the oblivious and misinformed

What the particular heck is CosPlay? Seems like a new online video game or a new Facebook applications such as Farmville to you personally? Well, simply no. CosPlay is really a combo of two words: "Costume" and "Roleplay. " Therefore, a new Cosplayer is really a geeky, not necessarily necessarily good-looking somebody who else assumes the role of a character from a great anime show, a movie game, comics, manga, comedian series, movies or TV SET series. These cosplayers step into the shoes associated with the characters that have inspired them or they consider is actually cool and backup their costumes, prosthetics, cosmetic makeup products, hair and uber-cool add-ons. Here's what really astonished me, cosplayers not simply need to look like character types, they have to act like, sound like and fundamentally become the characters they represent into the last giggle.

There is this issue between cosplay elders regarding how and when this interpersonal phenomenon really started. However , they appear to acknowledge one thing - the particular origin in the word Cosplay. Most of the parents agree that the reporter Noboyuki Takahashi, first gave the phrase in the article "My Anime, " following attending the 1984 Planet Science Fiction Convention in addition to seeing lots of Trekkies (Star Trek fans) strutting their particular stuff. Following that, cosplay provides evolved into a subculture among enthusiasts of cartoons, manga, comics, movies in addition to basically everything fun in addition to fictional under the sunshine and elevated into an art form and subculture in various countries. Within the Philippines, the popularity of cosplay in addition has spiked in the last couple of years.

Cosplay and Typically the Modern Escapist

"I have got claimed that Escape will be one of the main capabilities of fairy-stories, and considering that I actually do not disapprove regarding them, it truly is plain that will I do not take the tone of disapproval or pity with which 'Escape' is now thus often used. Why exactly should a man be scorned when, finding himself in penitentiary, he tries to acquire out and go residence? Or if he are unable to do so, he considers and talks about some other subject areas than jailers plus prison-walls? " -- L. R. R. Tolkien--

Now i'm no card-carrying psychologist or even sociologist, but I could tell you roughly around the observations I made of which cosplay is now portion of the modern fantasy. Mr. Webster defines escapism as the habitual diversion of the mind to be able to purely imaginative activity or perhaps entertainment as an avoid from reality or routine.

I'm sure you can acknowledge that the world in which we live is full of stress, threats, constant noises, irritating soap operas, harmful fast-food junks, dizzying advertisements, and overnight facebooking. Therefore, we all need to escape - to redouble our attention on items enjoyable or enjoyable, since opposed to the difficult realities of the daily world. While we are stressed we all want nothing more compared to escapism, and cosplay definitely offers that for other folks.

It is nice to be able to add a bit of dream to an otherwise dull or stressful world. But, translating someone's fantasy directly into reality can be challenging. I how to start if moms and dads should really be concerned concerning their teens' expressing sturdy desire to reside in fantasy regarding anime, perhaps they will should consider that since healthy and part of today's social reality. In addition to that the desire in order to 'escape' is part associated with the complicated process of discovering ourselves. I believe we are all escapist in various ways.

This will be where I acquired myself in to the most trouble-of-judgement. I actually failed both to comprehend just how important the notion of escape is to several cosplayers and also to clarify the particular specific form of escape I actually was addressing. I admit that many Filipinos currently participate in cosplay not necessarily mainly to avoid their particular own personal wars these kinds of as their jobs, human relationships, school pressure and additional life hassles, but somewhat to have fun, contend, and even make the living. Visit: uniquerings

The Magical Planet of the Rhapsodist

"Harry goes off into this specific magical world, and is it any better as compared to the world he's left? Only because he fulfills nicer people. Magic would not make his world far better significantly. The relationships make his world better. Miracle in many ways complicates his life. " --J. K. Rowling--

Is right now there a difference between healthful and unhealthy escapism? In the present reality, we cannot carry out our ancestor's way regarding escapism - which is usually telling stories around the particular fire or do creating on the caves. We have now escape the woes worldwide by reading books, observing soap operas and videos, browsing the internet, writing a blog and so on etc.

As I said before, cosplay is actually a new in addition to modern type of escapism. In contrast to other varieties of escapism, cosplay is much more engaged. Other "characters" are straight playing in their marvelous world, interacting using their particular assumed personality. Events, these kinds of as regular conventions and gatherings, also occur in this new form of escapism which is directly dependent on the particular authors of the cartoons characters.

Fantasy Self and the Anime Globe

Therein causes the problems of the cosplayers. This is just my theory OK. The presumed character, which I will call the Fantasy Personal starts to rival the real world. Because of the large complexity and magic regarding the anime world, the Fantasy Self may always count on the cosplay since his or her sort of escapism. You will find a probability of which the Fantasy Self may treat the anime planet as a big section of the individual's real life and might dominate the real globe.

[tradingprotools-blog]

[GET] Habit Hacking - Michael Breen

http://www.tradingprotoolsnews.com/2018/02/16/get-habit-hacking-michael-breen/

And that's the conservative estimate. Many estimate it's up to 90%. What about you? How happy are you with your habits? If you're like a lot of frustrated students of personal development... It's OK, it's not your fault. I've been there myself. I used to struggle to make changes only for things to fall back a few weeks or sometimes (frustratingly) hours later. Then, due to a chance meeting with a legendary NLP Master Trainer, all that changed... overnight. In that meeting (and many more that followed) I discovered what the giants of Neuro-Linguistic Programming do (folks like Michael Breen, Richard Bandler and Tony Robbins) that most ordinary NLPers don't, to create lasting and deep habit change. And much to my surprise it wasn't one big thing ... it was a several very specific things (five to be exact). You see, up until recently people thought our habits were unbreakable. Sure you can help someone change a belief or change a simple behaviour but to get someone to change a habit, most students (and many teachers) of personal development would say "forget it!" They'd tell me "Tom, you "can't teach an old dog new tricks", "a leopard never changes it's spots" and all that. To me this was baffling. I mean... what was the point of studying and learning all about change, reading books, going to seminars, listening to audios if you can't change something so fundamental as our habits? Especially since so much of our happiness and success is a direct consequence of our habits!​ You see deep down I knew something many in personal development overlooked or flat out ignored. That is... The Fact Is... Researchers Estimate as much as 40% of your behaviour is controlled by habits! Every area of your life is effected by your habits. Your relationship, career, health, wellness, finances, etc. Your habits either propel you towards success and the realisation of your goals... ... or left unchecked hurtle you downwards towards failure and another loop around frustration and the status quo. And the scary thing is... our habits for the most part, were not created consciously. Beginning in childhood we learned ways to act and over time those patterns because habitual, unconscious and automatic. The Habit machine created both good and bad habits. And as you know... “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle If You've Had A Difficult Time Changing Your Life, Don't Blame Yourself. Change Your Habits. You are dissatisfied with your current results... You know you're capable of much more but can't seem to 'turn it on'... You've read a ton of books, attended a bunch of courses, got motivated, tried a bunch of things but results were ... far from stellar!​ In fact, largely your life looks much the same. You've never really cracked how to create real BREAKTHROUGH CHANGE. Am I close? It's not just that we have good habits or bad habits. It's the impact they have on our lives. Our health, our careers, our relationships, our sense of well being. You see in any area of your life where you'd like to be more successful, there are specific habits that people who are successful use. If you want to be more successful, healthier, in better shape, make more money, be happier etc., there are habits that you use will give you that. However there is a powerful force that literally switches off part of your brain, so you can't see when a harmful habit is working. It's like you look out and think you correctly observe the world, but you're looking through rose tinted glasses and can't see how key bad habits, are holding you back, blocking the path, obstructing your way.​ “In truth, the the only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits. Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure. Thus, the first law I will obey, which precedes all others, is I will form good habits...” -Og Mandino (The Greatest Salesman in the World) Common Bad Habits 1. Snacking & over-eating all the time 2. Spending too much time watching TV 4. Sleeping in 5. Checking your email several times a day 6. Checking social media too often 7. Skipping the gym 8. Procrastinating 3. Staying up late 9. Drinking too much alcohol 10. Not following through on what you said Take a look at the past week. Think about it... How in shape, or out of shape you are... is a result of your habits. How happy or unhappy you are... a result of your habits. How successful or unsuccessful you are... a result of your habits. How much money you have or lack of... a result of your habits. Bad Habits Harm You As healthy & fit as you'd like to be? As energetic and focused as you'd like to be? As happy and fulfilled as you'd like to be? As successful as you'd like to be? Earning as much money as you'd like to be? Enjoying deep and rich friendships and relationships? Having the impact and influence you want? Experiencing the life you truly want? Be entirely honest. No one but yourself needs to know... Are you consistently producing the kinds of results and outcomes you want for you life? Are you... Take any area of your life you'd like to be more successful in; business, career, relationships, dating, health etc. Chances are you already have a pretty good idea of what it takes to be successful or you know someone who does. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and get fit, you already know about the benefits of exercising regularly and improving your diet. If you want to progress in your career and make more money, you probably have a decent idea of the kind of professional development, courses and relationships that can help get you there. If you want to become more confident and outgoing, you likely know what kind of resources and people who can help. Until one day it drops silently from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind, where the new program is ready to operate without awareness and automatically. The world is awash with information. When you realise this the question becomes what kind of habits do you have? Because... Think about all the self-help books, audio programs, seminars and TV shows. Most people who read self-help books, listen to audios, get excited at seminars and watch self-help TV programs fail to make real and lasting change. Perhaps you've been there yourself. I certainly know I have. The reason why is most self-help programs focus almost entirely on what to do. Acting as if you come in to the course like an empty USB stick ready for an upload and simply exposing you to what to do is enough to create a change. But you know that it's not. Very few, if any programs teach you how to consistently do what is needed to be successful. Sure, you can tinker with your beliefs. You can tweak your values. You can listen to mind re-programming audios. You can try every change technique in the latest 'new' self-help book. But if it doesn't change your habituated response, the change it won't last.. Your habits are like a cable. You weave a strand to it every time you use it. And what get's practiced becomes permanent. The more you do it, the stronger the habit becomes. Conscious Mind Subconscious Mind: The world of habits What the consequences or benefits will be will be determined by the results of the habit itself. Take a person who wants to lose weight. Their intention may be to lose weight but their habits are organised so they only gain weight! And they don't even know it. Their conscious mind (the one with the intent) is trying to go against years of hardwired bad habits like eating high carb, high fat, fast foods.. drinking sugary sodas, yielding to cravings for sugar. Is it any surprise that most people's efforts to change fail? The same is true for anyone who has tried to change an area of their life and failed. The problem wasn't you. The problem was your habits! And the truth is... We All Have Bad Habits That Are Ruining Our Lives... Sabotaging Our Goals & Preventing Us From Living Our Dreams We all have bad habits. Habits that produce detrimental effects from what we want. Often they're left over coping strategy from a time when you were trying to adapt to a particular context or achieve a specific outcome. Yet in many very real ways they are ruining your life. Sabotaging your goals. Preventing you from living your dream life. And as you know, once something becomes a habit, it drops outside conscious awareness and operates thereafter on autopilot. Think about it. Have you ever set out to go somewhere and ended up somewhere other than you intended? Usually only after we've made the mistake, and arrived at our destination do we realise we went the wrong way! People are acting on autopilot every day, doing what they did yesterday, with no realisation that they are heading the wrong way. For anything you'd like to experience, do or have there are a set of habits that will get you there. There are a small few habits that are key to success in any endeavour. But there are many, many more bad habits that people use which extinguish any hope of them achieving what they want. Therein lies your biggest opportunity for getting what you want... Training your conscious mind to spot and identify your bad habits, and reprogram your subconscious so you do more good ones. ​ The right ones. Introducing Habit Hacking. Let the secrets of neuroscience and Neuro-Linguistic Programming show you how to form new habits and break bad ones. If not why not? Motivation? Knowledge? Opportunity? As I discovered what stops people is not that they don't know what to do. Point is, most people already have a reasonable idea of what to do, to be more successful. Because... When you learn to hack your habits, you put yourself back in the driving seat. Chances are you already know what to do to get in better shape. To be fit. To lose the belly tire. But the problem is, you aren't doing it. Or doing it consistently. So your weight yo-yo's. Habit Hacking doesn't teach you yet another strategy to lose weight, it focuses on how to form new habits easily (even enjoyably). It shows you how to consistently do the small handful of critical behaviours that are needed to be successful build any kind of habit you want. It gives you the toolkit to change habits for yourself. To reinvent your life. Improve your health. Lose weight. Increase your fitness. Skyrocket your productivity. Kick-ass on your goals. Do you procrastinate? Are you frequently late to meetings? Do you leave 'difficult' work to the last minute? Do you check your email before bed? Bad productivity habits abound. They wreck havoc on your career, relationships and self-esteem. But you don't have to live with them! Imagine replacing your bad habits with good ones. How much more productive would you be? Habit Hacking shows you how to break bad habits for good, using neuroscience and NLP. What you do is who you become. Got a nagging internal voice that makes you feel bad? Tired of feeling like someone took the colour out of life? Would you like to be more 'present' in the moment or build that mediation habit? Habit Hacking employs the latest academic research, real-world experiments & leading edge behavioural change technology so you can build rock-solid habits... so you can feel happier, more confident and enjoy more inner peace. Become happier. Confident. More Zen like. Discover your blind spots. Become more successful. Everyone has got habits that cause them to fail time and again. You can't get to where you want to go if you you keep doing what isn't working. You need altitude on your behaviour to see what really stopping you. To plug the leaky holes in your game. Habit Hacking shows you how to spot and fix the holes in your bucket, the blindspots so you can be far more successful at whatever you choose. You are in good company. Over 90,000 students have trusted Master NLP Trainer Michael Breen to help them change their life. You can too. Michael Breen is an extremely skilled trainer, very intelligent and very good humoured. Myself and Michael collaborated on many projects and we used to train together for years. He is one of the nicest people I have ever met. I recommend him very highly. Paul Mckenna Best-selling Author, Presenter & Celebrity Hypnotist Michael Breen's Training is... FIRST CLASS! Richard Bandler Co-founder of NLP Founder of DHE, NHR, Best-selling Author Fascinating training, which I wasn't expecting from an "NLP organisation", and so easy to start implementing and getting benefit from. Thanks! Mark Matten, UK Life changing techniques brought to you in easy to assimilate chunks of information and actions. Truly positive benefits to my life and sense of well being. Martin K. Driscoll, USA I have trained with many of the big names in NLP, and I find Michaels trainings the best thought out, the easiest to follow, and, for me, the trainings that brought about the greatest increase in skills. Michael doesn't just teach techniques, he teaches the structure, and that has allowed me to move beyond just techniques. Al Konigsfeld, WA, USA What habits really are and how they work so you can discover the secrets to changing them. Why trying to use willpower is a recipe for failure (and what to use instead that requires no willpower at all). This program is awesome... Straight to the point, filled with many experiences. Michael is one of the most experienced NLP coaches!! Ang Denny Wijaya, Indonesia Why ‘bad habits’ form and the surprising purpose behind them. Learn about ‘neurological truth’ and the sticky role it plays in maintaining and changing habits (especially those ones you’d really like to change but have struggled to). Why if you’ve tried to make a change and failed… that it’s not your fault and how you can make sure the change sticks. Discover why there are only 3 types of change you'll only ever need to know… knowing this master change heuristic makes creating change so much easier. The #1 reason why most people fail to change .. when you know why you’ll instantly have and 10 x advantage on changing any behaviour you want (even once you've failed). The 1 strategy people who change quickly and easily do that those that repeatedly fail to change do not. The accidental brain discovery learned from people with epilepsy that has a profound effect on your life and plays a critical role in shaping new behaviours. Learn the rules behind how to create effective habit change so you can retrain your subconscious to do more of what you want The simple 2 factor formula for making change really, really easy The #1 thing you must learn to do if you are going to be able to create intentional change The #1 thing you must do if you want to make a change that lasts The 3 critical distinctions to get about your mind and body that frees you to make change quicker and faster with zero strain and allows you to streamline habit formation Discover your blindspots, what Michael calls the ‘holes in your bucket’ that are holding you back from being more successful and how to plug them so you can make a breakthrough in results. The secret trick to putting ‘choice’ in between automatic habits and programming in new habits The 3 step formula for making the new behaviours become ’the new automatic’ The 3 mega forces that shape and influence if change will happen or if you’ll efforts will fail (everyone must master these or pay a high price and repeated set-backs and failures...) The surprising truth about our stories and how they can take us ‘out of the game’ of life before we even realise it so how to change them. How to take back control from the story mechanism and reintroduce choice and freedom in your life Learn about the Robot, the force that keeps your habits operating night and day and how to hack it so you can make changes incredibly easy... Identify which feelings let you know when the Robot is running the show and what to do about them… so you identify when you’ve gone unconscious and a bad habit taken over Clear up your understanding of what the unconscious mind that surprisingly gets in the way of making change easy and automatic Discover the 3 strategies you can use against the Robot to smash the old way of doing things and start doing more of what you want so you can do the actions that really matter to your success, happiness and fulfilment. The #1 shift in behaviour that once is hooked up can result in a 10x improvement in the achievement of any goal Why you DON’T Need to willpower to making lasting habit changes ... learn about the much easier, more effective and pain-free way to change habits that works like magic and used by NLP change masters to create near effortless change. Learn Michael’s number 1 technique to remove the need for willpower, adrenaline jacking or drama to get what you want... Discover the biggest mistake most people make when they try to use willpower so you can stop doing this too and make your life much easier Why it DOESN’T take 21 days to form a habit and the real secret to forming habits quickly, easy and will-free Discover the shocking truth about ‘good’ habits and ‘bad’ habits you’ve overlooked for years... but will lead to a breakthrough about how you think and change your behaviour so you avoid one of the most commong tripping points in habit change Why everyday matters more than you’ve ever realised (this idea is HUGE). When you get this ah-ha you’ll be far less likely to get taken ‘out of the game' of change and you’ll never look at sitting down in front of the TV the same again! Discover what creates ‘drag’ when forming new habits so you can avoid this common mistake Discover the reason why breaking habits has traditionally been so difficult and why failure in breaking habits occurs Learn the neuroscience discovered principle behind how habits are broken that you’ll want to know so you can break your bad habits quickly and permanently How your brain works and how to get it to work better more often so you avoid common pitfalls The surprising news about two things you have in abundance that you’ve been underutilising but are key to habit change Learn the ‘Double-D’ heuristic for change that instructs your brain to ‘rezone’ it’s wiring, and stop doing bad habits. It's so easy to do you’ll love it. The most important tip Michael gives on breaking bad habits that he teaches his private clients and allows for guilt-free change How the brain generalises habits to others contexts (and how this can create REAL problems if left unchecked) Discover the 6 problem points you want to check when you have problems forming new habits that resolve 99.9% of habit formation issues Discover the first thing you’ll want to do before changing any habit... if you want the new habit to stick! Discover the secret to getting your brain to form a new habit without relying on willpower! The 3 linguistic habits that get in the way of making change easy that you'll want to avoid. The 3 magical phrases that help you be drawn towards your dreams and goals like a magnet... The remarkable power and purpose of thinking like a six year old when you want to change your life. The surprising benefits of 'negative thinking’ that you overlook… but Michael recommends you should intensify! When you do, even difficult changes become much easier. Discover how even seemingly difficult changes and phobias can be changed in an instant (without fancy NLP visualisation techniques). Learn about the Event Driven brain and the key role it plays in habit formation, getting stuck and how to use it for change. Go behind the curtain to discover how certain situations automatically generate undesirable responses in you and how to yank the power from them... How becoming more like Sherlock Homes can make help you break habits quickly. Learn where the ‘Robot’ is operating in your life, getting in the way and find out how to hack your way around it. Learn which kind of mindset traps you should ignore so you get more of the life you want and make life more far more exciting, rewarding and enjoyable Discover the most common limiting strategy people use (often without conscious awareness) to block themselves from making a change… it has nothing to do with motivation, resources or money! Learn the simple mindset mantra Michael recommends to reduce worry and take control of your life Learn about the sneaky patterns you've unconsciously created... that keep the bad habit active and how to break them. Master the two-pronged master change pattern that snips bad habits from starting so they can't operate. Learn the 6 BIG Intervention Patterns that change masters use to disrupt bad habits from operating. Learn these six and you'll have multiple ways to tackle and change even the most habituated bad habits... and change them The mindset filter Michael’s observed in people who change their habits easily (this is so simple yet counter-intuitive) and the mindset of people who find change a hardship The simple formula for setting yourself up so change becomes automatic The radical mindset shift you’ll want to make so you can become the kind of person who just changes (without drama, pain or rely on will power) Discover the 5 steps to forming new habits that makes forming new habits a breeze... Discover the 2 big motivators that work to build habits and make change stick and why you want to have a decent mix of the two if you want to feel rewarded and fulfilled more of the time How to signal your brain “this is what I want” and how, through one simple habit hacking principle, you can cause your mind-body to do more of what you want Learn the real secrets about what change is all about that frees you from years of self-help 'mind-chou' and frustration Learn how you can use your values to catapult habit change Learn all about behavioural triggers; what they are, how they work, how to set them up for yourself so they work when you need them to... so change can happen exactly when you want it to Discover the #1 thing to do to find out if a trigger really works and what to do if a trigger you set doesn’t work Discover how habit routines work and how to create routines that stick How the ‘robot’ tries to over-ride the new habits we want to form and how to get around it The optimal way to create new habits that reduces the time dramatically... The 4 things you need to factor if you want to succeed in forming new habits easily The secrets and tricks on how to introduce conscious awareness into a what is normally an unconscious process, so the new routine works right out the gate The 2 things you must be absolutely clear about if you want to build routines that work every time... How it doesn’t take 21 days to form a new habit - Michael shows you the factors that matter the most and how you can dramatically reduce the amount of time to form new habits Why the sequence of your Habit routine can have a profound impact on whether a new habit will be effective The 3 critical planning elements to consider when designing a habit that sticks Learn what people who change habits quickly and easy do this instead of... breaking habits Discover the 7 elements of forming new routines that your nervous system relies on to create new habits quickly and without causes habits to fail to form What to focus on if you ‘fall off’ the program when creating new routines that can save turn challenge in to triumph! The 2 killer questions to ask yourself anytime you find you repeatedly are NOT doing the things you say you want to do. Uncover the trap almost everyone who tries to change and fails falls in to, so you can avoid, if you want to enjoy a better life and be able to change your life without drama and common problems Discover the speedway to change... the best type of motivators you'll want to choose and the downside of the most common motivator people try first When is the right time to trigger a reward if you want your nervous system to pattern and reinforce the desired behaviours. The #1 tool Michael suggest for staying focused on habit change and achieving your goals Discover the 5 power hacks to help you bring even more certainty and speed to creating new habits and breaking bad ones Hear tips on the right way to use the tools so they support your transformation The surprising research that shows how one simple change that can increase your success rate from 29% to over 80% when you follow this one simple hack to habit formation and goal achievement The 3 habits to adopt that make habit change even easier Discover why Michael recommends you frequently build in new behaviour paths if you want change to be easy Discover which two feelings you’ll want to practice feeling so you can quickly change your own behaviours Discover how to "sneak up" on your brain and tag new habits without setting off the ‘robot’ (this method makes it practically impossible to fail) The one linguistic trick that removes the need to make decisions and instead simply build a new habit quickly How you can chain a series of habits together and multiply the positive effects across your life Learn what keystone habits are, why they matter and how to form them Learn about the 80/20 Rule and how you can leverage this power law in habit formation to get much higher return for effort Hear about the mentor who helped Michael get “client ready” by targeting some keystone habits which created multiple positive changes in Michael’s life and “had a major impact on his thinking." The one question navigation system Michael uses and suggests to his clients if you want to be more successful Why you want to train yourself out of perfection and start doing this life changing habit instead Hear Michael share key insights about how to be more productive and hack your limiting productivity habits... The one highly popular productivity system that DOESN”T work for at least 1/3 of people who try it The strategy Michael uses to acquire new strategies and habits to he and his clients are never stuck for a way forward on their goals The #1 thing you must do if you want to make a specific behaviour to become “the new automatic” Acquire Elite Troubleshooting Tips, Techniques and Tactics For Breaking Bad Habits & Forming Good Ones Learn the simple five step process to breaking habits that even your uncle could do! Discover how vital the role of timing is, in changing and transforming habits and stuck behaviours. Discover why testing, remembering and tracking play a vital role in habit formation (and how their absence makes forming new habits so darn hard.) Discover how one keystone habit can positive impact multiple other areas of your life... The two negative habits you should abandon right away if you want to be far MORE successful There is no doubt that the coaching & business industry has seen a huge boom and with it a proliferation of “Guru's" promising “the world”, so it can be difficult to determine can this person REALLY deliver results? My answer for Michael is a resounding YES... He brings an exceptional depth and breadth of coaching, consulting and training experience, at all levels, that make him a trusted expert any successful coach or business owner would want to work with. If you get the chance, my advice is jump at it! Elizabeth Hammond, TXG Limited Break Your Bad Habits. Form Good Ones. Make Change Stick. I'm excited to get access to Habit Hacking and discover the secrets to breaking bad habits and forming good ones... so I can transform my life. Discover Science Backed Principles To Change Habits FAST. Learn how to 'hack your habits' using strategies supported by the latest science backed research and discoveries from neuroscience. Show Willpower The Door! You've tried using willpower alone; it almost never works and is too much hard effort. Using a combination of scientific research and powerful NLP techniques, 'Habit Hacking' will show you the secrets to hacking your way to building successful habits. Overcome Your REAL Blindspots You've tried many things and most things failed to work or failed to stay working. 'Habit Hacking' exposes the real reasons why your previous efforts to change were doomed and what really works! Discover The 5 Step Model To Break Bad Habits. Cold. Let's face it. Bad Habits carry negative consequence but often feel good in the short term. 'Habit Hacking' teaches you a proven process to kick bad habits. Best of all, you can do it as easy as a-b-c. Form New Habits. The Right Habits. Success Emerges... If you want to lose weight, stop procrastinating, make more money, change your career or achieve any other goal... it comes down to doing the right things, consistently. 'Habit Hacking' gives you the BLUEPRINT for forming habits easily and effortlessly. Learn One Skill. Change Anything. Habit Hacking is designed to teach you the ONE skill that you can use to change (almost) anything. The benefits compound the more you use the SYSTEM. Get Expert Step-By-Step Guidance From A Renowned Change Master 'Habit Hacking' is designed to give you step-by-step 'hacks' organised in to a powerful habit hacking system. Each 'hack' builds on the hack before it to create an unstoppable bond so you can create (or break) habits with greater ease! Practically "Failproof" 'Habit Hacking' is designed so failing to form new habits (or break bad ones) is practically failproof. Even your mum would be impressed how easy and straight-forward this course is. And it comes with a complete 30 day money back satisfaction guarantee. Leverage The Power of NLP To Reprogram Your Mind & Body We're not interested in change that only lasts a little while. Get change that sticks. Learn the secrets to creating lifetime habits. Using powerful principles drawn from NLP to break bad habits & form new ones, fast.. I'll get Instant Access to 24 step-by-step Habit Hacking Assignments I'll get INSTANT ACCESS to the entire video training, all 31 Habit Hacking videos. The entire course will be available to me inside the NLP Times exclusive member's portal, where I can watch them online or download for playback on my computer, laptop, Smartphone or tablet. And I also receive a 30 Day 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. If I'm not happy with the awesome content and strategies taught inside Habit Hacking I can get a full refund. I understand: On that basis, I'm clicking the "Add to cart" button below so I can get instant access to Habit Hacking, so I can learn how to hack my habits and change my life. Habit Hacking Digital Download SSL Protected Secure Checkout To your success, Tom O'Connor Editor, NLP Times. P.S. Habits control so much of your life. Habit Hacking shows you how to take on every unhelpful habit you've ever had, at home or at work, and shows you how you can fix it, in 5 simple steps. Taught by a renowned master NLP trainer, celebrity coach and expert change agent, you'll learn how to leverage the secrets of Habit Hacking to change your life. P.P.S. Breaking your bad habits and forming good ones is the most powerful thing you can do to practically guarantee a better, brighter and more prosperous future. It's a super high leverage thing that all highly successful people have done (and continue to do). You see making new habits frees you from decision making which you can use to your advantage to better your life in any area; health, relationships, dating, finances, career, business, productivity etc. Want to stop procrastinating and start doing? No problem, Habit Hacking teaches you how to kick your bad habits and form good ones. P.P.P.S. Order today and receive instant access to this all NEW video training. About Us Purchase Policy Privacy Policy Terms of Use The Only Course To Combine Science Backed Research With Powerful Neuro-Linguistic Programming Processes To Help You Hack Your Habits In 30 days or Less... So You Can Easily Break Bad Habits And Form Good Ones! So the trick to changing your life and becoming more successful isn't reading more, studying more, absorbing more. The trick is consistently doing things that are required to make you more successful. Implementing what you already know. Isn't it time you had the power to determine which habits you use? Sales page : http://nlptimes.convertri.com/habithacking

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Go Nude Cams – Get Naked With The Girls!

If you have an aversion to horny females who have sex for money, you might not want to go anywhere near Go Nude Cams. We learned this the hard way, having unknowingly stepped into its midst one afternoon without first having the proper gear lined up. By proper gear we mean lube, towels, our wallet, a few bottles of water, some baby wipes, and a passport to Hell. Yeah, shit gets nasty in there.

When you’re only a halfway decent chick with pepperoni nipples and a hairy lip, it’s tough to find work. Well, not anymore. Thanks to Go Nude Cams, even trap house bitches can make a living by selling their pussies. What a time to be alive. And because it’s our duty to check these sex cam websites out without losing our gall, we had to maintain a level head even when shit got sticky. While Go Nude Cams doesn’t have dozens of categories, the hottest girls, or even the best-looking web page, it has a lot of redeeming factors that one would only know about if they checked it out for themselves. You know what they say: Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

That must be the motto of some of the models on this site, since only about a third of them are real-life fuckable. This place is more like a fantasy land for grown ass men who are too ashamed to say they like fucking grateful ugly girls. It’s okay; go to your happy place. We plan to break down this website like it’s the walls of a tight little pussy – no mercy. There’s got to be a good reason Go Nude Cams, with its tiny thumbnail photos of fully clothes girls, has more than 100,000 users and thousands of women doing dirty deeds for dirt cheap.

Who, What, When, Why, How?

This live sex cam site is not like anything we have seen in a long time, and by that we mean it looks like it came straight from 1998. Is there anyone on the Go Nude Cams team who gives a shit about updating the interface? It takes quite a bit to get used to the outdated layout, but once you do you can see how the site is a lot like other sex cam destinations on the net. Although navigating the site isn’t the most user-friendly thing we’ve ever encountered, there’s still a lot of fun to be had therein.

Go Nude Cams is all about raunchy fuck parties with random strangers, as is evidenced by its limited yet specific category list. We’ll get into that shit later but for now, let’s just say this is the place to go if you’re slumming with your mind in the gutter. Nobody on this site seems to give a damn about the rules which are clearly posted on the site for everyone to see. The girls and guys featured here are DTF as a motherfucker, and that’s the kind of hustle we can get behind.

While this site isn’t famous for its selection of top notch bitches, nor is it popular for its high-tech interface, it has earned a name in the industry anyway. It must be because of the pure satisfaction that can be derived by bending the rules of engagement a little bit. Yes, you will get kicked offline if you take things too far, but for the most part, this is one of the most relaxed sex cam sites we have ever encountered. That’s got to count for something.

How Does This Work?

At first glance, we assumed Go Nude Cams would be a bitch to navigate, but surprisingly it wasn’t. Once you get to the main page it’s just a matter of selecting a category or clicking on an image. You won’t get very far unless you register first, so luckily that’s free. In fact, it’s about the only free part of this entire Podunk website. For a porn hub with such a shitty presentation, these cocksuckers sure aren’t afraid to charge big bucks for quick fucks.

After you register, you will become privy to unlimited free chats with the girls who are online. Most of them live there, so no worries about missing someone you like. Remember, these skanks have to be desperate to do some of the things they’re willing to do. Use that shit to your advantage while at Go Nude Cams, because you probably won’t get away with that shit anywhere else.

You also get high-resolution images and videos with your membership, as well as a cool “Video Zoom” option for when you want that extreme closeup money shot. We may or may not have spent more time rating the girls than fucking them, but they shouldn’t include that with the membership if they don’t want us being opinionated like that. Either way, the ability to save our favorite bitches was a huge bonus, so overall, we’d say the site is decent enough for its intended purposes, albeit ugly as fuck.

Who’s on the Site?

We’ve done our fair share of mentioning how somewhat unhot the virtual hookers are on Go Nude Cams, but we haven’t said anything about how attractive they can be. As all hornballs know, a good lay can sometimes come from the most unexpected place. Such is the business model of this site, apparently. That’s not to say that there aren’t some prime pussies on here. We’re just giving you a fair warning about the type of debauchery you’re about to enter into.

You won’t get lost in a sea of options on Go Nude Cams, that’s for sure. While it may be one of the top 10 live sex cam websites out there, the admins have taken it upon themselves to streamline the categories to include the most popular ones (and nothing more). You can do a search all you want, but you will only get what they have. Thankfully, that’s some good shit, like:

Girls 18+

Ladies

Mature Female

Couples

Female/Lesbian Couples

Fetish Female

Threesomes

Group 4

Trannies

Tranny Couples

Boys 18+

Male/Gay Couples

As you can see, there isn’t a lot to choose from on this site. We seem to be missing some shit like MILFS, hairy-pussy-having bitches, Asian/Latina/ebony skanks, and hoes with tattoos. When using Go Nude Cams, it’s like playing Russian Roulette. In the words of Forest Gump, “It’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

What we mean by that is this: you can hop online, sign in, and click a category. But you might end up with a pair of lesbian performers who both have massive bushes. If you’re not into that kind of thing, the whole experience could be a waste of your time and money. We suggest using the chat room that’s provided so you can learn a little more about the hooker you’re trying to bag. Membership may not be very experience, but a penny saved is a penny earned and it always will be. Buyer beware.

What’s in It for Me?

Yes, there is a way to use Go Nude Cams without paying for anything, but we find that most people who enjoy these live sex cam websites want the complete package and we can’t blame them. Free is free, so there’s nothing more to say. When discussing what members get for their money, that’s when people start paying attention; so listen up.

You have to pay for a premium membership after registered on this website. No worries; it’s completely secure and encrypted, although a confirmation email will be sent to your inbox to verify your identity. The premium membership comes with all the bells and whistles we mentioned above, including private chat sessions as reduced prices. These bitches, nor their virtual pimps are messing around. Playing with their money is like playing with their emotions.

Perhaps it’s because Go Nude Cams is replete with hundreds of money-savvy European girls who have important, international-type shit to do (whatever that is). Or maybe it’s because making money by orgasm is a dream come true for anyone who will admit it. Yes, the models seem desperate to make you happy and cop some cash for it at the same time, but you’ve got to hand it to them for their sheer tenacity. Serving over 100,000 customers has to be extremely exhausting.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

With hundreds of horny babes online at any given moment, it can be hard not to come across a skank or two who just isn’t up to par. At least, that’s been the case with every other live sex cam site we’ve reviewed. It’s a good thing we’re not trying to make any friends here, because we’ve probably already pissed 1000 people off. Oh well.

If we’re keeping it real (and we are): The reason for this review is to give you some honest insight into these things before you fork over your hard-earned money on a worthless cunt who can’t get you off. So, let’s waste no more time on this shit and get right to the point, shall we?

PROS

Sort It All Out – The site’s best models can be easily found by simply clicking on the “Sort” tab at the top of the window. Users can sift bitches based on rating, experience, and quality.

Is This Even Legal? – Some of the shit the girls and guys do or say in the live chat and video sessions is downright raunchy. That’s what the fuck we’re talking about!

Going A-Broad – We have a theory that European women are nastier in bed than any other breed, which is why we’re so fucking excited that so many of them decided to join this site.

Keep It Safe, Stupid – You can get pretty wild in the chat rooms because the whole site is on major lockdown despite it looking like something slapped together by a loser in his grandma’s basement.

Frugal Fucking – While a lot of the site is free to use, the good stuff requires the premium membership and the use of credits. It’s a good thing that shit is affordable.

Loud and Clear – We were impressed by the video and audio quality on most of the Go Nude Cams website, probably because we weren’t expecting much since we judged a book by its cover like a bunch of assholes.

CONS

Tiny Tim – The thumbnail pictures of the featured models are laughable, and only become slightly larger when you scroll over them. So much for cheap thrills, eh?

Back to the Future – The terrible interface of the Go Nude Cams website threw us off quite a bit. You mean there are 100,000 people who are okay with this shit?

Caught on Tape – Most of the videos were amazing, but when they weren’t, they REALLY weren’t. It looked more like a taping of the Sasquatch at one point. Who’s in charge around here?

Roll the Credits – There aren’t any notifications for when your credit balance gets low (probably for privacy sakes), so you have to keep a close eye on it lest you be left with blue balls because you can’t pay to play.

Deaf Leopard – Because the video and audio quality are primarily left up to the models, some of the sounds are quite muffled, fully of static, or just plain not there. Hello?! Anybody?!

When Judgment Day Comes

We won’t lie and say that we didn’t cum our asses off from the shit we witnessed at Go Nude Cams. It was a very good time, despite our initial impressions. Having seen so much in the industry, outdated websites like this surprise the hall off our balls. As for content and quality, these bastards know what the fuck they’re doing.

On our coveted scale of 1 to 10, Go Nude Cams gets a solid 8.5. That’s because it has more than enough shit to look at without all the fluff that the other guys use to distract your attention from the important stuff. Whether attractive or not (talking about the girls AND the site), we can appreciate anything that’s dead-set on making us jizz.

from Best Live Sex Web Cams http://www.bestlivesexwebcams.com/sex-chat-sites/go-nude-cams/