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#but others i talk about and then im like OK we have to do this one!!
sophsbookstore · 1 day
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Chicken Shop Date
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Lando Norris x reader 。・:*˚:✧。
Masterlist can be found in navigation!
Word Count: 2,348
Y/N walks into the chicken shop where they're filming the newest episode of her and her best friends youtube show Chicken Shop Date. Y/N and her best friend Amelia have been running the channel for a few years now, both girls switching off taking turns dating different celebrities.
Today Lando Norris was to be on the channel, and Y/N was ecstatic. Y/N has always been a big fan of formula one, with McLaren being one of, if not her favorite team. The original plan was for Amelia to be doing the date, the girls always switching off interviewing every other date, but Amelia knowing how much Y/N liked Lando, trades spots with the girl trying to set her friend up.
“Ok Y/N, Lando should be coming round the corner in a few.” One of the PA’s says, kneeling next to Y/N who was already sitting at the table, wiping her nervously sweaty hands against her legs.
“Y/N are you excited?” Amelia asks her best friend, Y/N side eyeing her friend before turning her attention back to the empty chair ahead of her.
“You suck, you know how much I like him, it was your turn to go on a date anyway!” Y/N whisper shouts. Amelia laughs, giving her bestie a quick hug before going to her spot behind the camera. The rest of the crew gets ready as Lando and his team enter the set.
Y/N watches anxiously as Lando shakes the crew member's hads, introducing himself to everyone before coming over and sitting across from her. “Hi, im Lando” the curly haired man says, holding his hand out across the table for Y/N to shake.
She does so, blush creeping onto her face. “Im Y/N, but i'm sure you already knew that” the girl stutters out. “That over there is my co-host Amelia, which I'm sure you already knew as well..” Y/N says kicking herself under the table in embarrassment. Lando looks at the girl, the smile never leaving his face.
“Ok you guys, we are starting in 3..2..” the director holds up one on his fingers, putting it down as everyone gets quet waiting for Y/N to start talking.
“Do you like chicken nuggets and chips?” what a way to start off the “date”, Y/N thinks to herself.
“I love chicken.” Lando says to the girl, smiling slightly as his head nods with satisfaction.
“That's good, I do as well.” Y/N reminds herself that this isn't a real date, she has to keep up the unbothered, bored character throughout the whole video. This is going to be harder than she thought. “Did you know that chicken makes you more beautiful” Y/N can feel her ears getting hotter.
“Does it really?” Lando asks, feeding into Y/N bit. Y/N agrees with the man, nodding her head.
Just then one of the PA’s comes out and hands Y/N a Capri-Sun, she places one in front of herself and Lando. Lando stares at the bagged drink in confusion, turning his head to the girl in front of him, back at the drink, then to her again. “How did you know I like Capri-Sun?”
“because…I’ve..Been, researching you..” the girl stutters out. Way to not sound like a creepy stalker, Y/N thinks to herself.
“I didn't even know I was doing this until yesterday.” Lando says, trying to steer the conversation away, stabbing his straw into the hole at the top of the bag. “I just looked at my calendar yesterday”
“Really? I've known about this for a while now, I've been manifesting it actually.” Y/N taking a bite of a fry, putting on a confident act for the camera.
“So manifesting actually works?” Lando asks, fixing the hod of his sweatshirt.
“It's been in my diary for about 5 years, you just didn't know about it until now.” Y/N shrugs, Lando leaning forward with laughter.
Y/N quickly looks over at Amelia, the girl silently laughing at her friend's awkwardness. Looking back at the monitor Amelia notices her friend secretly eyeing her down, turning to face Y/N she gives her a thumbs up, silently telling her that shes doing a good job and has nothing to worry about.
“Are you into, like, racing and motorsport?” Lando asks, trying to capture the girl's attention.
“Oh yes!” this perks Y/N up, being asked about something that she thoroughly enjoys. “I love Formula 1, my dad is a really big McLaren fan, so growing up we all had to be too.” Y/N finishes with a laugh.
“Are you still a McLaren fan?” Lando leans forward in his chair.
Wanting to play hard to get, Y/N leans slightly back in her chair. “I would say so, yes.”
“Who's your favorite McLaren driver.” he asks with a smirk.
“Oscar Piastri.” Y/N says, her face void of any emotion. Lando sighs, frowning slightly as he takes a bite of his food in defeat.
The pair could go on and on about racing, having both grown up watching the sport, as well as having the same favorite team, the two continue talking. “You know, I've never been to a race before.” 
This perks Landos interest. “I should take you sometime. Let me know which race you want to go to and I'll call a few people.” 
Y/N almost chokes on her drink. Did Lando Norris just invite her to her first ever race? Lando Norris. Her celebrity crush, and the person she has been manifesting to have on this show since it gained its popularity.
“I would really like that actually.” Y/N blushes, not being able to think of a cheeky comeback for his offer.
“You know what, bring your family too, you said they were McLaren fans aren't they?” Lando smiles at the girl, Y/N only being able to nod in agreement and thankfulness.
Lando takes a moment to eat some more of his food, Y/N looks over at Amelia, her best friend silently screaming and clapping for the girl. Y/N is stunned, her eyes wide, her mouth making an “o” like shape. Y/N shakes off the excitement, knowing that she still has to finish the “date” before she can get too excited.
“I hear it gets quite hot in there.” Y/N says catching Landos attention.
“Oh yeah, it gets very hot. Yeah, sweaty-”
“It would be even hotter if I was in there.” Y/N says bluntly. Lando opens his mouth to say a comeback, but when his eyes meet Y/N’s he shuts up, instead the blood rushes to his ears and he bites his lip. “Agreed?” Y/N instigates.
All Lando could do was nod and smile, his face getting redder and redder. Y/N takes her moment, taking a sip of her soda for confidence the girl leans forward, giving Lando her full eye contact as the interview carries on.
“Are you a romantic person?” the girl inquires. 
Lando takes a bite of his fry, looking at Y/N as a smile creeps onto his face, he looks down at his meal. “When I need to be.” he looks back up at the girl, still smiling.
“Good to know.” Y/N keeps eye contact with Lando, taking a bite of her fry, the boy winking at her subtly, making her nearly melt off her chair.
The two continue to eat in silence, one of the PA’s signaling to Y/N that they're about halfway through with the interview. This saddens Y/N, she doesnt want it to end. What if this is the first and last time she’ll ever get to see Lando. No, he offered to take her and her family to a race. What if it was just a joke? No, that would be too mean to be a joke.
“What's your ultimate goal?” Lando pulls the girl from her thoughts. “Apart from like this” Lando says motioning to the cameras and food in front of them.
“To fall in love I guess.” Y/N shrugs.
“That's cute.” Lando smiles at the girl. If she wasn't sitting down she would have passed out in the moment. 
Y/N analizes is face, taking in how cute he is before mustering up the confidence to continue the interview. “What's your type?” the girl asks.
“I'm open.” he shrugged nonchalantly.
“What do you specifically look for in a girl then?” Y/N questions the boy in front of her, desperately wanting to know.
“Just someone who's funny, has Y/E/C, beautiful, has Y/H/C, you know?” Lando continues to wait, trying his absolute best to act nonchalant. “How about you?”
“Oh you know, racer, has brown curly hair, brown eyes, a brown hoodie on right now. Nothing much to it really.” Y/N states, matching the energy as Lando looks down at his brown sweatshirt, looking back at the girl and smiling.
“Good to know.”
“Are you a big spoon or a little spoon?” Y/N doesn't waste any time before jumping into the next question.
“I'm big.” Lando responds. 
“That's perfect, I've been looking for a big spoon.” Y/N casually says.
“I've never been a little spoon before.” Lando laughs at the shock on Y/N’s face, the beautiful girl in front of him making him clarify that he's never been a little spoon before. “We could try,” Lando quickly says to Y/N, both taking a moment to imagine such a thing before turning their attention back to one another.
“Do you snore?” Y/N questions the driver in front of her.
“Yes.” he replies bluntly, leaning his body slightly more forward.
“No, really? That's a deal breaker for me.” Y/N puts on a fake sad face. She looks at the driver in front her, his face dropping ever so slightly, but enough for it to be noticeable. “It's ok, we can work around it” Lando nodded in agreement with the girl, his face perking up a bit more.
“How far away do you live?” Y/N asks, not caring about how creepy the question can sound. 
Lando laughs, looking down at his food before looking back up at Y/N “I love in Monaco.”
“Shoot.” Y/N sighs, finally breaking eye contact with the beautiful British man. “I don't know if I can do long distance.” 
Landos face falls, his smile faltering to a frown. “Well that's no good is it?” the two fall back slightly in their seats. 
“Am I going to have to move out to Monaco? Or will you stay in England full time?” Y/N asks, forgetting this is just a playful interview, actually thinking about her hypothetical future with Lando.
“Hmmm.” the driver ponders. “Whatever you want I'm good with.” he smiles.
Y/N laughs, playing along she obviously looks past the camera toward her friend Amelia. “I think we might have to move chicken shop to Monaco.” Both girls laugh, Lando blushing at the idea of Y/N moving her whole life to stay with him in a different country. 
The PA looks at the pair, walking around the camera and sneakily handing Y/N a custom made chicken shop trophy. Y/N thanks the PA before holding the trophy up and looking back at Lando. “You may not come first in anything yet, but you are the first F1 driver to go on a date with me.” Y/N holds out the trophy for Lando to take, he “awws” in response.
Lando holds the trophy in his hands, looking down then looking back up at Y/N “hopefully i'm the last F1 driver you have on. I would say our date was pretty successful.” he smiles.
Y/N doesn't hide her blush this time, looking down and laughing slightly before refocusing back at lando. “Maybe, maybe not. We’re still waiting to hear back from Oscar.” 
The director yells cut. The rest of the crew and various team members walk about the shop finishing their own tasks leaving Lando and Y/N to their own. The pair get up from their chairs at the same time, now standing in front of one another.
“Thank you for this again.” Lando says, motioning to the trophy in his hands. “I really had fun today.”
“Me too, thanks for coming, even if you didn't know until yesterday.” the two laugh, a comfortable silence falling between them.
“Hey umm, maybe we could do this again, no cameras or anything. I'm in England for another week or so if you're free.” Y/N is taken aback, did Lando Norris just ask her on a real date.
“I- umm, yeah I would really like that. I'll give you my number so we can plan it.” 
“Perfect!” Lando smiles, pulling his phone out of his back pocket, unlocking it, then handing it to Y/N. Y/N quickly types in her phone number, setting her contact name, and taking a picture of herself for the contact photo before handing the phone back to Lando.
“Well then i'll see you soon Lando” Y/N says, looking up at Lando, taking a small step closer to him.
“I'll see you soon Y/N” he holds his arms out, giving the girl a brief yet firm hug, before getting called away by one of his team members.
Y/N stands in shock. Recapping everything that had just happened since the director started filming. Amelia runs up to her friend, nearly tackling the girl with excitement. “What happened, what did he say?” Amelia interrogates Y/N, having witnessed their interaction from afar.
“I just got a real date with Lando Norris.” Y/N says, pulling out her phone to see a text from Lando with an address and time. It's official, her manifestation had worked and she was now going on a real date with the driver she's had a crush on since he signed with her favorite team. Lando Norris.
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melrosing · 2 days
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the thing that annoys me the most about the bullying claim among the stark sisters is that they talk about how much it affects Arya that she thinks she’s ugly and such and like she does, but she’s so much more worried about being “bad” she killed a boy. She’s also going through poverty and war and starving and being introduced to cults/bands of “justice” by murder
but nooooo she totally is more affected by being called horse face despite being compared to SOOOOOO MANY PRETTY PEOPLE AND THAT MEANS SHES GOOD (never mind that good looking=good person should NOT BE YOUR BASIS)
I think most people, and especially girls, know exactly how it feels to worry about your appearance and feel ugly and unattractive, and I get that this is a particular pain for Arya, who apparently has never been called pretty except by her dad one time in AGOT, in an offhanded comparison to her aunt Lyanna. I don't think attractiveness is the most important thing to validate in any child, but I do think that it is good and nice to affirm to your child that they have their own beauty, so that they can then negotiate their relationship with that word from a safer place in adulthood.
It's not about telling your child they don't look a certain way (e.g. no good telling Brienne she's a normal height and her nose is hardly crooked at all), but that the way they look is something unique to them and something they should take pride in, regardless of what others say. Like I think it's an OOC moment in the show, but I think it's sweet when Olenna tells Brienne she looks 'marvellous' or something. She's not saying 'you look like bella hadid', she's saying 'I love the way you look!' to a woman who has received nothing but insults (despite looking like fuckin. Gwendoline Christie lmao). that is nice. it's not the most important compliment anyone can receive, but it embraces divergence as positive.
as it goes though, Arya is a pretty girl and it's just weird that the adults found countless compliments for Sansa and none for Arya. and that's why I find it so bizarre that everyone wants to pin Arya's self-esteem issues on Sansa, a prepubescent child!! like, would Arya have taken these insults so hard if Cat had stepped in and said 'don't listen, you're a lovely girl and your father says you look just like your aunt Lyanna! sansa i am telling you off for calling people names'. children are always going to call each other mean names! it is one thing that is practically guaranteed to happen in any sibling relationship, and anyone who says otherwise is an only child or lying.
but it is much harder for a child to manage that hurt if they're getting called those names, and society seems to be reifying to truth of them at every turn! Septa Mordane is calling her ugly! Cat is calling her a mess! Ned has never complimented her till AGOT! etc! she has never received a compliment before! so how on earth can you say 'and Arya's self-esteem issues can all be traced back to the playground bickering between she and Sansa and Jeyne' when Arya is obviously getting the same message from what seem like far more authoritative sources! is it not worse that those sources are all complimenting Sansa all the time and never Arya? does that not make it worse when Sansa acts like a child about it? like!!
and yeah I agree that there are other more painful insecurities Arya is struggling with. I do think at least part of the reason that this argument keeps coming up in fandom is that people keep trying to claim that Arya's story is similar to Brienne's, in that she IS ugly according to society's standards and that's ok! which isn't true, Arya is canonically a pretty kid with a dirty face and unbrushed hair. that's all it is. so if we could just accept that, there'd be no excuse for the insistence that this is an important aspect of Arya's story.
because it isn't. like im sorry but the ugly duckling means nothing when there are plenty of people who don't grow up to be swans. they get called ugly as children, and they get called ugly as adults. look at Brienne: she has suffered far, far worse prejudice as a result of her appearance in childhood, and she doesn't get the catharsis of growing up pretty to show them all how wrong they were. Brienne has been treated like a fucking monster for how she looks, all of her life. this is a character for whom her appearance IS actually an important theme, and it will be meaningful to see her realise it's a strength, and find love etc. I'm sorry but Arya growing up to be beautiful doesn't mean shit to me lol. I fully accept it's canon, but it is not a meaningful story beat, in a story with people like Tyrion, Brienne and Sam. Arya's story has so many more fascinating themes about identity, trauma, justice, war, friendship and family. if Arya was pretty all along, why should I care?
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marcygoo · 3 days
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okazyyyy here we go. parts from murder drones eps 6-7 that really tickle my brain that i never see people mention like ever (if you come into the reblogs or comments of this post being like "why didnt you include (x part that everyone talks about)!!!" then that is why. and also i am going. to Eat You.) this isnt really going to be organized or anything. basically just me being abnormal about sounds and movements and other minuscule details that im really fond of for however many words
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okay, first thing is gonna be a sound thing. i absolutely LOVE the beeping sound uzi's visor makes in this part. i really like sounds.
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cant get a good screenshot of the movement cus.. yknow. duh. movement. but the way alice moves from there to the ground to where v is so. idk. fluid. its so fun to look at i really like it
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the finger snap here. i love this finger snap. the noise. the movement. its so good. its so crisp. i love it
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the lighting on uzi's face. forgive me for using the word crisp twice in a row but its crisp. its really good. okay
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and the lighting on n's face here??? the colors are so harsh. i really like looking at it. okay. i feel like im not writing enough to just describe how much i like the lighting here. i really like it. its cool. okay i think its cool. i dunno
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i really like this hallway. thats it. thats the section. the way the camera slowly tilts just a little bit while it zooms in? the way the slowed down music in the background almost sounds like alarm sirens? like okay
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another thing i cant capture properly because, duh, movement! but the way the red sentinel kind of dips down here? i dont know why it did that but it slayed. and id like you all to ignore the fact that my nyan cat youtube bar got caught in the screenshot
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the sound effect that plays here when "tessa" cuts herself with the sword. i dunno. its just a really satisfying sound to me thats all
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another thing about sound effects really close to the last one but. the sorta crunching noises that uzis hand being contorted here make. im normal about sounds i promise. ok on to episode 7
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the lighting here. on nori. insane. im not normal. as mentioned before with n i love this kind of harsh lighting especially with the drones it just looks so visually appealing
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okay ANOTHER part i cant properly capture. this bit where it zooms in on the screen and shows the elevator. im. not normal about it. i really really like it alright.
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UGHHHH THE WAY UZIS HAND MOVES HERE. THE MOVEMENT. THE FLUIDITY OF IT. IM ACTUALLY OBSESSED. AAUUGHHHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHH
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LETS EAT!!!! DUDE. UGHHHH. AUGH. i LOVE this part SO MUCH you guys have no idea. im obsessed with it. the line delivery. the pose. the shot. the implications. the way that its just such a simple and commonly used phrase. do you get it. do you understand. genuinely one of my favorite little parts in the whole series im not kidding. let's eat
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o-o-o-o-ow! ! !!! i always love the glitched voice effects alright. and that combined with the movement of nori's body being forced back by the crucifix. idk. i dunno man. i just like it
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and UGH. LITERALLY right after that. the lighting flash just as she pulls it out of her face????? i hate this show so much guys. aughhhhhUGHHHHHHHHH AUGHJJ
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grrrr this part. i literally NEVER see people mention it but. the way uzi.. the solver.... uh. whagever. the way their eyes sorta wobble when they turn to look up at n and nori. its a really cool movement to me i dunno
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THE CRUNCHING NOISE WITH THE MOUTH GETTING PULLED SO FAST FROM A TINY FROWN TO A HUGE SMILE LIKE THAT??? EWWW????? INSANE. CRAZY. I LOVVE ITTT AUGH
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no comment needed. the 😁
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ok im kinda putting a lot of stuff from this fight on here. forgive me. its got a lot of really cool stuff. this part like. like. the way all the sound gets kinda muffled and crunchy.. aughh.... i love it. hurts me in my bones. 10/10
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ok bit of an unusual thing to point out here but. the solvers flapping here. its so strange. it looks so weird and mechanical to me. in a good way i love it
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the hand twitch. no further comment.
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eugh. this part. the way the coagulated blood (???) almost jiggles like jelly. eughhh ewwwwwww. why are you like thattttt. (positive! i love blood.)
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drone sound: much, crunch (i REALLY like the sound effect that plays when uh... flesha. bends down and Crunches dolls core. the sorta glass breaking sound. sorry doll.)
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the fucking frog blink. why are you like that. i hate this thing so much.
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the music that starts up right as j lands.. eughjghgjhhhh. augh. dies. also side note that i wasnt able to fit really anywhere. but i love the sound that the ship makes. dont know how to describe it but yknow what im talking about right
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the fucking. sound effect. of uzi stabbing her own hand with the protruding bone. crunch. i really really love crunchy crunching sounds. theyre so good. one of my favorites honestly
uh. okay. well thats it thats the post. thanks for coming to my Autism. walks away
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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Flashback, warm nights.
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hyakunana · 6 months
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Pocky Day 2k23 feat exo girlfriends ✨
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When your friend needs you to be there to comfort them, but you have no energy for serious conversations and so you're stuck wondering if youre being a selfish asshole or if youre justified in not wanting to be the one to sort their problems out
#vent#its not like they didnt offer to hear my problems. but i just dont want to talk about. or anything#i dont want serious conversations. i dont want to have to worry about other people. i just cant.#im just so fucking exhausted and i dont know if its talking to them and feeling drained by the fact that theyre going through something-#-and that i need to be the therapist or if im just sick. again.#plus yesterday i slept late. my mum made me cry (i think she was just tired out by that point in the day so i doubt it was personal)#and just#im fucking tired ok#and I'm sorry im a bad friend#i just dont have energy. i want to have good energy around me to try give me some.#but when theyre upset it gets into me and drains me and I've been there as much as i can but i just cant right now. im too tired#i know im a shitty person but literally everyone got to be a shitty person at my expense so isnt it my fucking turn?#and then assuming i was acting like that to hurt them. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT ANYONE. IF WE HAVE A FIGHT I WANT TO MOVE ON.#I'm not gonna be caught up in it if we resolved it#but yeah. long story short they're going through shit and i feel like shit#and i think them going through shit is what makes me feel like shit. because i worry about them#and they can lash out on me#i just dont know anymore. i dont know if im an awful person or not#last year i broke up with a friend and my mum said I'll do the same with the next friend#it wasnt my fault#that friend ghosted me#im trying not to be her rn too and im scared that ive been in the wrong im scared im a shitty person too#but at the same time im too done to even really care#i just wanna stop fucking feeling all this and just get on with my day
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altruistic-meme · 2 months
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why am i sad!!!!!!! where did it come from!!!!!!!!
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munamania · 1 month
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real life drama moment eye roll sams apparently struggling bc he wants to move out and is touring this building hes been eyeing but his roommates dont want him to but also apparently theres beef and he just 'doesnt want to be friends with those people anymore' and he was really vague about what that was all abt and his friend group and who he wanted to even still talk to. and well. not my circus not my monkeys....... but im gonna go ahead and keep my feet in two lanes here does that make me a shady bitch. girl i literally dk any details and thats fine but like. idk whatever..
#personally me and ur roommate r fine so gonna just chill there and also thank my fellow dyke they went on a trip with#just for being a lesbian hashtag dyke swag (we met once and high fived over this)#again not my business but all i know is that apparently some of them planned trips even to where hes from over break and didnt talk to him#abt it. and i was like well did any of you just talk about spring break at all and he was like no. so. okay.. and then he talked vaguely ab#doing so much for them to try and make them like him again and i was just like well once again#did anybody in this friend group ever just like have a direct conversation about anything ever. lowkey. i said it nicer than that#and the answer is pretty much no#like ok blames not fully on u ig but if we had unspoken beef and u were adjacently doing nice things idk that id. recognize that..?#esp just with. the busy-ness of sams life. not trying 2 be callous#idk in general that group just needs to fall apart once again why have u known each other since freshman year#go to like. therapy. also. ok im sorry to be bitching abt somebody thats kind of my friend i dont like feeling like a two faced bitch#thats the gemini in me i guess. ahaha everyone laugh. but whatever this is tumblr dot com. also like the fact that he approached this with#ugh.... im feeling Complex emotions... and i dont like it... :(. im gonna keep it real idk that thats very complex#ur just gonna have to talk to them. a general them. whoever. 'well whats the end goal of that' idk dude u have to figure that out hello#abby talks
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lunalunawillow · 2 months
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Just read Kick It Up a Notch and while the event's story was good why did it do the thing that a good chunk of VBS stories do (especially the more recent ones since Walk On and On) of just dragging the fuck on certain points 😭
Project Sekai's pacing is overall pretty great considering how story heavy and extensive it is! With Leo/Need and Nightcord being perfectly paced and WxS and MMJ having minor yet negligible hiccups but then Vivid Bad Squad's is just all over the place?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying their story is bad (trust me they do have banger,good paced stories and I'm excited for the heartbreaking plot twist coming up in June) but some of them just drag on for far too long
For example, Toya getting inspiration from the hospital guy is interesting but it loses it's appeal when it feels like 75% is focused on him and not Toya making music (and later getting to appreciate his bond with Akito) which was supposed to be the plot of the event??
And also the aforementioned recent Kohane event with the middle just feeling like meandering to have the ending randomly feel like her version of Vivid Old Tale minus the nostalgic undertone turned sad by more recent info and the much better pacing that event had
I have more examples of this but I don't want make this rant(?) much longer but TLDR vbs please stop making parts of your events go on for far too long 😭
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indigodawns · 2 months
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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aahsoka · 3 months
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torn between going up to my bfs house to surprise him and watch a movie with him in person instead of online tonight or if that would just make him feel stressed
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theguardianace · 3 months
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torn between going to the team pregame party so i can have a slightly negative but mostly neutral last impression of the night or (not really actually) lying about getting a headache and just going to bed so i dont have to see anyone else tonight
#context im absolutely pissed at everyone :thumbsup:#our game today was GARBAGE. it started off ok but then the second we get scored on everything goes off the rails#i didn't dress today (played yesterday and hadn't been scratch in a while) so i literally could not do a thing to help that#(my game was good i played well and vibes were decent)#vibes were not decent after today#IT WAS SENIOR NIGHT. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.#i worked so hard on one of the gifts it was a hand (digitally) painted portrait of each of them!! it took me a month but turned out so cool#it burnt me out though.#and they liked it which is good :)#but this was supposed to be the end of the stress and then we were supposed to have fun !!#but then everyone decided to give up in the third and then everyone hates each other now.#one of the seniors went to the front of the room and basically called everyone out for giving up when she was the one who gave up most#which like fine. whatever. uncalled for but we can move on#but it's also my buddys bday so our class took her to get dinner to celebrate#but then the whole time they trash talked the team and or coach#and didn't include her at all#and im just mad now. im so mad about that#they didn't even notice she hadn't said a word in 20 minutes#we were going for her!!! to celebrate her!! and yall cannot put aside twenty minutes to have a good conversation with her!!!#what the heck!!!!!!!!!!#and then when i brought it up near the end to my old roommate and good friend she just went “oh its fine” NO ITS NOT>??????>?#i dont want to go. but i dont want to end it like this#and everything hurts. my body just hurts.#im tired my head hurts my hips are KILLING me#im so done
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bangcakes · 6 months
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p4nishers · 1 year
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bisexual bobby. i'm right.
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girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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